#feeling emo and full of love for my friends this week

[zacksfairest]

💌 👉👈

mutuals send me a 💌 and ill tell u something i love about you

I LOVEEEEEE THAT LIZ WAS MAGNANIMOUS ENOUGH TO ALLOW ME INTO Y'ALL'S D&D CAMPAIGN, BECAUSE OTHERWISE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET YOU

I love!!!! How creative you are!!!!! Your characters for our two (!!!! two!!!!!) D&D campaigns are so wonderfully creative. I love Ori and Ledo so very much. I still hope we can bully Liz into running more oneshots for Last Resort Movers Inc, as I love Vaela and Ori's quiet friendship, but even if not, we should do some side RPing for them. I miss my girls.

(I owe Liz more than one RP with Vaela also. Woe betide.)

I also love the quiet understanding between Ledo and Lehala that we've cultivated, and I look forward to them getting to know each other better.

All of this to say, I love how fantastic of an RP partner you are, whether real time and "in person," or through text. Finding good and fun RP partners is so hard, but the ones I've found have always turned out to be among my closest and longest lasting friends <3

I also love your art and crafting abilities!!!!! I love your drawn art, and it fills me with such joy whenever you are kind enough to share a piece with us. And your crafting!!! My Vaela potion bottle is in a place of honor on one of my bookshelves, and few things match the utter happiness that flooded me when you presented me with the Lehala mini you made me.

I am beyond grateful that we have already managed to meet in person once, despite having known each other for a relatively short amount of time, and I so look forward to when an opportunity next presents itself for us to hang or roll dice together. (Preferably both! I will be greedy and ask for both).

[respectthepetty]

The Loyal Pin - Episode 2

I have no idea what I am doing with this space each week. Am I thinking thoughts? Am I recapping the episode? Am I getting anxiety that I'll have to be more selective with the images I use since I'm only allowed thirty yet every second of this show is color-coded? Am I lusting after Pin and my girl Prik? All of the above?! Once again, I have no idea, so let me just get this post started at the beginning with Pin being the saddest Pink Person and cutting all the mangoes within 50 miles because her girlfriend is leaving.

The Blue Beauty Anin sends her loyal and trusty sidekick Prik to keep her girlfriend company while she is busy preparing for her move.

Because she knows no mangoes are safe and apparently papayas too! And while we get a flashback, we see that Pin is wearing blue ribbons in her hair because even if she can't put words to it, she's been in love with her Blue Beauty for a long time.

Probably before she even knew the word "love"

So while Anin is busy making arrangements with her color-coded brother,

Pin is haunting the halls already grieving her loss

Refusing to acknowledge that Anin is leaving (same girl, same)

Losing her appetite (and will to live), which her color-coded mother picks up on

And crushing Prik's spirit with the realization that Anin will be abroad for SEVEN DAMN YEARS!

Basically, Pin is in her sad girl era as she holds Anin's handkerchief and cries into her pillow.

But thankfully Prik acts like a ghost and snitches to her Blue Beauty Boss that their Pink Person is turning into Britney Spear's 2000 classic "Lucky" since "she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking 'if there's nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?'"

So Anin, in true Blue Beauty, fashion decides to make her girl happy by making food with her and eating it . . . alone since Pin still isn't eating.

And takes up every single waking moment of Pin's time.

They even celebrate Loy Krathong together, but the mood turns sad once Pin finally vocalizes that Anin is leaving FOR SEVEN DAMN YEARS!

So it's time for Anin to leave, and she says goodbye to her color-coded girlfriend and her color-coded aunt.

Oh, and her color-coded brothers!

But she immediately gets to writing her girl because if a letter is late, according to Prik, Pin is painting her nails black and listening to My Chemical Romance's "Ghost of You" on repeat until the letter arrives. Same girl, same.

However, Pin can read between the lines, and even though Anin is saying she is happy and writing about other friends (Anin knows other women?! Not in this sapphic love story she don't!),

Pin knows Anin is not happy and can see the teardrops on the letter as clear as day because they are the same album, but different songs. Alexa, play My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay"!

Fuck it! Just play all of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge! I'M in my emo feels!

But their SEVEN DAMN YEAR separation is coming to in end which we can tell because their hairstyles have changed, and our Blue Beauty has a plan up her sleeve!

Sidenote: The snow globe on her desk has one character in green and blue and the other is in red and pink. It's them!

But back to the plan! Now that Anin is graduating, she triple-checks with her color-coded family that the highly esteemed prince who just happens to be her dad is going to keep his promise of giving her anything she wants.

Because this bad (blue) bitch is getting the custom-made house she promised her girl! Sis secured the bag!

And Pin is proud as hell of her smarty-pants skirt (since the clothing is historical accurate?).

But as proud as she is of her, in the middle of a room filled with pink, blue, and purple (!!!!) flowers, she looks shocked to see her Blue Beauty right in front of her when the episode ends.

Anin is just full of surprises like appearing out of nowhere and coming back queerer than when she left. Good for her!

Bonus: Anin's mom is a Yellow/Orange Oddity, and I think as the girls continue to age, they will inherit more of their moms' colors into their wardrobes because of generational trauma, gender norms, and whatnot until they break against tradition and be gay do crime each other.

But either way, me and my huge emo album collection will be here doing whatever this is all season!

[garfunklefield]

Ko-Fi exclusive

18+ viewer discretion is advised

Fem!reader/Suguru Geto Warnings: plus-size!reader, reader is into cute pink frilly outfits, Geto is very into readers body, emo!geto, Geto has so many piercings and tattoos, opposites attract, oral sex, Geto is canonically hung, pussy eating with a tongue piercing, creaming, fingering, blow job, degrading condescending praise stuff, overstimulation, crying, a little dub-con Word count: 3047 DESC: Youve always been curious of how many piercings your best friend has

I’m broke and I want a JJK bumper sticker full transparency so I am giving you all a sneak peak to something I will have fully up on my Ko-Fi!

“How many do you have?” 

You blinked a few times at your friend, who was lazily scrolling on his phone in front of you. You and Suguru had met in your first-year economics class and stayed friends up through college. Now as seniors, your friendship felt almost second nature. Suguru was different from you, in the sense of dressing. He wore dark clothes, had dark hair, and so many piercings. You always wore pink frilly outfits, so you contrasted perfectly. Like two sides of the color spectrum.

You never tried to stare at the dragon tattoo snaking up his muscular arm or the way his laborer piercing stuck out with a sharp point on the bottom of his lip. You had tried counting before, but new tattoos and piercings seemed to show up every week. There were the gauges, eyebrow, labret, septum… but you knew there was more. Maybe in his ear? You didn’t want to consider yourself a creep, staring at him so intensely, so you opted to avoid eye contact with the handsome man as best as you could.

You wouldn’t say you had a crush on him, but you wouldn’t not say that. You were very much down for anything he wanted to do if he ever offered. But the thing was, he never offered.

Suguru lifted his head, purple eyes scanning your face. He raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment, trying to mentally count before he gave up and started feeling around his face. You noticed his hand then trail down to his stomach, before ghosting at his belt. His fingers delicately traced the silver and black surrounding his waist, holding up his black skinny jeans.

He… no way. Your eyes widened at the thought. A dick piercing? There’s no way he’d have one. And there’s no way you’d go this long without seeing it. Well no- you didn’t want to see it- well. You shook your head at those thoughts. He was just a friend, and you did not want to see his dick. He was just a friend, and you did not picture him naked sometimes. 

It didn’t help Suguru had a reputation for being incredibly … large. Girls and guys talked about it like it was a godsend just to be fucked from behind by his cock. Not going to lie, you’ve thought about it before. Just a small fantasy, and wondering what it would be like. You saw how he’d eye you in those short pink skirts or those low-cut kawaii tops, you know the ones you’d find on Pinterest. Your body was far from flat, being curvy and fat-filled in all the right places. Even if they weren’t the right places for others, they were to you. You loved your big form and you could tell that Suguru enjoyed the view too.

“Seven,” he looked back at you and adjusted his position, sitting up. You two were just in your dorm, sitting on either side of your bed. God the whole thing was pink, you felt so proud. He stuck out like a sore thumb.

You thought for a moment. Gauges, eyebrow, septum, lip… that was only four. So there were three you couldn’t see. Your mind and eyes instantly wandered down his body, stopping at his stomach, “Belly button?” You didn’t dare to look down to see the tent being pitched in his jeans, the tent you knew was growing as you continued to speak.

“And tongue,” he spoke softly, brushing some hair from his face. He pushed it behind his ear but it continued to fall into his eyes, “The other one you’re going to have to guess.” A seductive look crossed his face, trailing up to his eyes. He blinked a few times, barely closing his eyes to let his eyelashes ghost against his bottom eyelid. Fucking majestic honestly. 

“Guess? C’mon just tell me,” you frowned, motioning to his perfect body, “Is it a dermal somewhere?” 

“No. Think dirtier,” he then paused, “Think lower,” he suddenly purred. Suguru knew exactly what he was doing. You couldn’t deny you were attracted to him (I mean you do have sexual fantasies about him). And you couldn’t deny how it made you soak your underwear when he spoke to you in that low tone. You could just imagine him groaning sweet nothings into your ear with that perfect tone, with each thrust becoming sloppier as he attempted to reach his high. You could practically feel him bite down on your neck as he fucked you, pumping you with his seed.

“Lower?” You bit down on your bottom lip and adjusted your position to sit up as well, “Um… I don’t wanna seem weird.” 

“Nonsense, you won’t be weird. Did you go too perverted?” He smirked and set his phone on the bed, motioning down to his legs, to the pulsating hard-on in his skinny jeans, “I can show you if you’re too embarrassed to say it.” 

You slowly closed your eyes and released your bottom lip from the hold on your teeth, “Are you sure?” What was in the water today? Was it obvious he was turning you on? Was it obvious you wanted to give in and close the space, even if it was a mistake? I mean he was hard for Christ's sake! How much more obvious could you both get? Every inch of his body was on fire as if it was statically charged, just aching to touch your perfect curves. Suguru was hot, you couldn’t deny it. He couldn’t deny his attraction to you. You couldn't deny your attraction to him any longer. And it was obvious to him, huh? It must’ve been obvious to everyone. You slowly opened your eyes and stared at him. He was serious. God you just wanted him to show you how big he truly was. And god you just wanted him to fuck you like the needy little whore you were. 

“Always baby,” he grinned and stood up, beginning to undo his belt. You found yourself staring at his quivering dick through his pants. He was hung. You could see it from how his dick sat in his pants, becoming more erect as he just teased you there. His hands seated atop his hips, with his cat-like eyes staring you down. Purple pupils dilated in your direction. Suguru then grabbed your chin and forced you to stare back into his own eyes, widening them as he continued, “I’m down if you’re down to see my piercing.” 

Your eyes fluttered a bit with your bottom lip jutting out into a pink glossy pout. You needed to think about this for a moment. If he was offering, you’d like to take a ride on that stallion. Besides, you couldn’t say no to that stare even if you tried. If he truly wanted to fuck you and he knew you wanted to fuck him, why not? You only live once. And you knew this would just be a one-time thing, just sex. God you just needed him to fuck you. 

“Can I see your dick now? I’m down,” you spoke softly, opening your eyes fully to stare at the grin atop his face. Fuck it, you thought. 

[bubba-luz]

What do you think about the One Piece live action show?

(I just suffered through most of it with my sibling and I actually shed a tear or two)

At first I really loved it! But then as the weeks went by the honeymoon phase was over and I started noticing things and thinking about things. Safe to say I’m not really a fan of the LA anymore. It could have been worse honestly with the track record of Netflix and live action adaptations in general [the wigs oh god the wigs]. Also on the topic of adaptation I’d say OPLA is more of an interpretation of the original manga than it is a one on one adaptation.

I think the cast is great, they do look the part. But the characterizations of the LA is well…not the manga one. I had forgotten what happened in the EB arc at that time, but I started rewatching the anime and the changes are even more jarring. In the LA, Luffy isn’t as confident as he is in the manga, he clearly shows doubt in his abilities and sometimes needs someone else to help him up and get his head on straight. I think the only true time that happens in the manga us when Jinbē has to tell him to get himself together after losing Ace and his crew, most of the time Luffy doesn’t really need to ponder and go “oh gosh what should I do here?😣” he mostly just does things without thinking or improvises mid-battle.

Zoro. Zoro Zoro Zoro. Roronoa Zoro. Why are you not a complete loser? OPLA Zoro is what men in the fandom think Zoro is, a stoic no nonsense cool guy who fights with swords. He’s just so emo. But he’s not. The concept alone of fighting with a sword in your mouth and calling it three sword style is ridiculous itself. This is pre-timeskip too, Zoro is always goofy, but he was even more silly when he was 19, this is the same man who tried to cut off his own legs and started posing when he realized he wasn’t getting out. Why was he so serious all the time. Also the Kunia story did not hit as well as in the manga, like I really didn’t give a fuck 😭.

Oh Nami…Nami…To me Nami felt a bit…mean to me? And yes even before Arlong Park she chastises the boys, but it never feels like genuine dislike. I really think LA Nami wanted to leave their asses 😭. There was no whimsicalness in her heart, TOO MUCH ANGST in this one. And why on Earth would they change her storyline with the Village, the townspeople know Nami is only working for Arlong to buy back their Village, the LA approach of them not knowing was completely unnecessary conflict😭.

Usopp was done dirty, I know Syrup Village isn’t a lot of people’s favorite arc but it was Usopp’s arc. So tell me why he does nothing the whole time! And why is Zoro’s back story in the middle of USOPP’S arc. They even took his little kid crew…

rip Merry.

Sanji…ooohohohohoh Sanji. Sanji. SANJI. What do you mean the eyebrows wouldn’t work because they’re “too silly” you’re main character is a rubber man and the other fights with three swords what do you mean TOO SILLY. You had a man with cat whiskers fuck you. Tiny swirls would’ve worked. Why was he obsessed with oregano 😭 The showrunner said they toned down his pervertedness and made him more flirty but it just felt…uncomfortable. Like Nami was genuinely UNCOMFORTABLE. They did the exact opposite of what they tried to do. Baratie Sanji was already a flirt, in his little pathetic “step on me mommy” Sanji way, and Nami used that to her advantage she wasn’t uncomfortable in the manga. The Don Krieg pirates were taken out, so we don’t get Gin and Sanji’s kindness on full display. Sanji doesn’t even WITNESS Zoro fight Mihawk which is what made him want to go set out to find the All Blue in the first place. Why don’t Zeff and Sanji have genuine chemistry😭. Sanji throwing a tantrum at Zeff was soooooo funny, literally what was that, it happened so suddenly 😭. My friend told me the showrunner said his fave arc was Baratie but he only ever talks about MIHAWK 😭, it’s SANJI’s arc bro.

And also the showrunner thinks the romance dawn trio are the main characters when…they’re not😭? Maybe before Usopp joined, but after?…no all the strawhats are the main characters hello. Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brook, Jinbē. I don’t have high hopes for S2, and I probably won’t watch it either.

Edit: OPLA Sanji feels like a heterosexual man. He only tops women and doesn’t fuck or get fucked by men.

[emo-in-garbageland]

This is my little project blog where I wish to be my unfiltered self and post about the things I only feel comfortable doing with some level of anonymity. i.e. A place for my thoughts, a place to share my hobbies, a place for my darker thoughts, a place for being cringe, a place for being kinky, a place to post outfits of the day, my fitness goals and my progress.

Some things about me are:

1. I train parkour at a ninja warrior gym every week, it's my biggest hobby and the primary thing I train for.

2. I also do a form of rockclimbing called bouldering, currently sitting around grade V3-V4, this is my second biggest hobby.

3. I have a "bittersweet" personality, in that I love silly, spooky, cute, horror and psychological things. I'm a fan of Sanrio and Omori, I'm softspoken and kind, but I'm also severely sick and damaged. I'm bitter, full of hate, a sadist, and I love the sight of blood.

I find that alt fashion is the only way I feel like myself. I typically wear grunge, gothic, punk, emo, vkei and techwear/darkwear styles. That makes up about 95% of my closet. Clothing aside, I am Punk and Emo to the core. Those are the subcultures that shaped me and I wholeheartedly embody. I love my Goth and Scene friends, but the music never quite caught me. While I do enjoy some goth music, it is the romanticism and artistry of the goth subculture that I primarily resonate with.

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 3

Had a rough week so far, I am looking forward to this episode ♡

HIIIIII INTREPID HEROES

NAT 20

please bring ayda back this episode (begging) (I know it won't happen. but I'm desperate)

ZELDA AND GORGUG BREAK UP CONFIRMED.....

I am experiencing so much gender envy from literally everyone at the table.

The art team really pulled out all the stops for this season. The dome backdrop is so good

THIRTY INVESTIGATION?!!!??!

"Of course you and Adaine, of course, are... Nerds."

"Not ideal for the bad kids" oh no.

Lone Wolf Bloodrush player. That's oc material fr

"I like getting friends cast on me so I willingly fail" fig becomes more and more relatable every episode

"IT'S 10 AND I GIVE YOU THE HELP ACTION"

LYDIA!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

LYDIA MADE THEM LUNCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE EMO SONG 😭😭😭

It just says "Hey Adaine" on the inside 😭😭

Cloaca.....

how many binders do the Thistlesprings have

"Can I Run From You?"

Just Breathe

CHLOE SHORT FOR CLOACA

I love the casual conversation they have

TWO GLASSES OF MILK

"I'll walk you to Bard class" fig probably won't be staying 😭

NEW LUNCH LAD!!!!!

I hope Fig's luck issue gets resolved soon 😭

MAZEY IS SO PRETTY

Grix...??

THE PARROTS.....

omg mazey x fabian?!!?!?!????!?!?!!?!

A SECRET CLOACA WITH A GUN??

Jawbone is so filled with dad lore

Kristen class president is something I need

21 passive investigation is insane

"What are you, like 4 different dogs?"

Passive Aggressive Kristen is so good.

Ghost steaks 🔥

FABIAN FLIRTING

"You're looking at a party boy" oh fabian....

I think Kristen working to be class president will convince her to. Go to school and work on getting better at it

Gilear 😢 I miss my pathetic wet cat of a man

fig writer's block so relatable

Stressed Riz

WANDA CHILDA

HEYYYYYY GIRLIE

I miss Ayda

Porter is kinda.... ♡

Why is everyone so attractive why must I be attracted to all the adults. im supposed to have a type

"I'm going into a worry, yeah"

Fig taking Fabian to the wizard class instead of bard class is so real

TERPSICHORE SKULLCLEAVER!!!!!! she looks like she bakes incredible cookies. I can't dance but I want to be in her class

THIRTY-ONE????????? PERFORMANCE

Dance bard class is so cool

From Jock to Arsty kid, I love Fabian's character development so much

"I'm going to do a lot less partying" a full lie from Fabian

I need more Riz and Jawbone one on ones

KRISTEN CHILLIS APPLEBEES 😭😭😭😭

oh no the Applebees fam are here oh no...

Ripped Kristen approaching her parents.....

oh no. oh no. oh no.

Not good what is going on with Cassandra

MAKE HER OWN PEOPLE TO TALK TO?!!!??!???!??!?? WHAT???????? WHAT WHAT WHAT????

ALLY IS SO CASUAL WITH NAT 20S 😭

HE'S A LITTLE PALADIN....

BYE GIRLIE

RIZ HAS A BACKUP TIE

why is sorcery so expensive

SHE'S NOT GOING TO TELL JAWBONE 😭

oh god Wanda Childa....

"what smell would be enticing to emo kids" 😭😭😭

"Did you just come from a room full of cigarettes and peach schnapps" "you mean breakfast?"

I wanda'd in

NOT ALL WHO WANDA ARE LOST

SITTING OUTSIDE AND LISTENING TO BARD CLASS

watching Kristen deal with school and stuff and deal with Cassandra makes me slightly uncomfortable. not in a bad way but in a way that I relate to it a bit too much and it's a bit too real. i too had extreme trouble with school and I also have issues with pushing important people away when trying to focus on myself and it ruins a lot of my relations. I relate to Kristen too much in the worst ways and that hits closer to home than I like. I love Kristen but man. Too close

"Things can be bad, and things can be good, but they all can be true."

I worry about Kristen going to Cassandra's realm. I am going into a worry. I have bad feeling.

the sound design is so good

GENTLE SOBBING.... OH NO. OH NO.

"I can't rely on you." OUCH.

she already found somebody????

KALINA!?!?!?! !!??!?!?!!!???!??!!??!!???!!???!?? HUHHHHH?!!??!!

IT'S LEAVING IT OFF WITH THAT?????? WHAT THE FUCK???????? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????????????? WHAT?????

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ Francis Forever (chapter 17)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5k

warnings- swearing, angst, mentions of miscarriage, confused feelings, some kissing (some smut not really its like 2 seconds), REALLY EMO

a/n- guys....we have reached the final chapter of Forever And A Day, oh my god. Ive worked on this story since January, its very dear to me, Thank you for everyone who tagged along. I love you so much! there will still be an Epilogue posted as well. Enjoy the chapter angels

-nini

Your feet led you down to the kitchen, where your mom was currently cleaning.

"hi honey" she mumbled, not turning around to see you as she scrubbed the top of the stove.

"hey.." you walk over, opening the fridge and looking for something to snack on. Granted- there was something made for breakfast but you hadn't woken up until 12pm. Technically, it was now lunch.

"do you want me to make you something?"

You peer over to your mom whos putting things away in the storages

"no thats okay" you grab a sleeve of crackers from the cabinet and some cream cheese, opting to sit at the kitchen island with your sad "meal"

"thats not lunch, missy" your mother scolded as she turned to you finally

"meh" you shoved the cracker in your mouth as you watched her grab her coat from the hanger. "where are you going?" you spoke with a full mouth.

"I have to run to the store"

"didnt you just go the other day?"

Your mom peered over her shoulder, waiting a moment "yes...but, I forgot to grab...uh....planter feed, for my little window plants" she nodded over in the direction of them.

"okay....can I come?" you mumble, throwing another dry cracker into your mouth.

"no" she laughed, making you look up

"what, why?"

"because" she began to ramble "well...I love you but Ive spent every minute with you this week, its good to be alone for a few hours"

You raised an eyebrow as if you didnt believe her.....because you didnt. "okayyy..." your voice dragged out

"ill be back in no time, no worried dear." she grabbed her bag and walked to the door, "ill bring you back a coffee" she winked as she left.

Once you heard the door lock, you stood up, licking the cream cheese off your fingers.

why was she in such a hurry to be gone?

Your feet wandered over to the little plant cabinet she had, opening it to see a freshly stocked basket of soil feed packets. Of course she was lying.

She was probably looking for an excuse to see that guy shes been talking to for months now. Why would she lie though? does she think you couldn't handle it?

Chosing to ignore it, you picked up her cat and made your way upstairs to your room, sitting down at your desk.

These days you werent out much, last time you saw other people was 2 days ago when you went to go grab the mail from the mailbox in the pouring rain. Nonetheless, you still loved to get yourself dolled up as if you were going out.

You applied some makeup, carefully drawing out your eyeliner to a sharp point. The way you applied your face could be compared to how you applied yourself to everything else in life- strict and neat, and you hated when you had a smudge

You pushed through your makeup bag, searching for a certain lipstick that you are now realizing you left back in Paris.

"that was $20" you sigh, standing up to wander to your moms room. Surely she has something to use, shes always been one to paint her face, she used to let you play "makeover" when you were young, which might be why you love it so much now. It was always enjoyable, even if you made her look like a clown a bit.

You wondered where she would keep her makeup, as it wasnt in her bathroom. A quick scan around the room brought you over to her vanity drawers.

"ahh, there we go" you happily looked at all of the collective lipsticks and palettes sprawled out in front of you. You grasped a few of them to look for one you would use, when your eyes fell onto a folder underneath all it.

Pulling it out and carefully looking inside, because you were snoopy even with your mothers belongings, you saw what appeared to be a booklet of Polaroid photos.

You giggled softly at the cute older photos of your mom when she was younger, the silly gestures in the photos reminded you that she too is human and has her own emotions.

You came across a specific one in the pile where your mom was looking out the window in her old apartment, obviously pregnant.

that was you.

Smiling softly, you slid through the last bits before picking up one that made your breath hitch.

Your dad.

She still kept every photo. Hidden.

Photos of your dad sitting on the deck of the house with newborn you resting on his chest, photos of him not knowing your mom was even there while he did tiny activities, like fixing or repainting something.

It was so real and so raw, and you wanted to criticize your mother for keeping all of these, because as you looked at his face, you felt nothing but anger.

But you had to remember she spent a majority of her life with him...she had a kid with him....and you almost felt a sense of sympathy for her and the life she thought she would have with him.

He ruined so many things and even after all of that, she cant toss the photos.

Its never really over, huh?

-

You knew deep down that you should've respected your moms privacy and left the room, considering you were only on the look for a lipstick.

But you found yourself still digging an hour later, looking at photos and notes and everything in between. In a way, you felt like the snooping mom looking into her daughters room.

Perhaps you shouldnt have, but you took one of the photos and kept it for yourself. It was of your mom, she had to have been your age in it, and she was standing in front of the old ice cream place she always took you to before it got demolished.

She looked so happy and pure, she had that gleam in her eyes that you struggle to find in her nowadays.

You put the photo into your bag, making sure it was flat and not bent.

With any lesson learnt from your parents, its that your biggest fear is to spend your life in the wrong situation, trying to make it work only for it to end up as the opposite, and leave you with a broken heart.

But on the other hand, you also realize that you dont want to be like your mom, although you admire and adore her, you want to find your place so desperately, and not let any opportunity go to waste.

The doorbell downstairs rang, startling you a little as you rose to your feet, trying to head down quickly.

"coming!" you shout, your bare feet leading you to the locked door. You open it and see a young man with a pizza in his hand. "oh!"

He bows his head polietly, "Hi, pizza for Y/N?"

You almost laugh, "ah...I didnt order anything?"

you thought for a moment and considered that your mother probably ordered it for you, knowing that your choice of meal this morning was crackers and cream cheese.

"its already paid for" he spoke again

"im sorry but-" you sigh "okay....thanks?" you reach out, almost burning your hands at how warm the box was. You dropped it off on the kitchen counter and looked at it.

It was cheese and bacon, your favorite, how did your mom know that?

"should I trust this?" you looked down at the cat crawling over your feet, she smelled the yummy food just above and was trying to access it.

Before you could grab your phone to call her, you heard the doorbell ring again. "seriously...?"

once more, your feet dashed you over as you opened the door, assuming it would be another delivery. You dropped your phone onto the floor as the person standing in front of you turned around.

"I hope you are open to sharing that pizza" Taehyung spoke quietly, a small smile on his face.

"what are you doing here....?" you looked at him like a deer in headlights; scared, relieved, shocked, happy all in one.

He calmed his expression and stepped a bit closer, "can I come in?"

You stepped back and thought for a moment

"please....?" he persisted

"y-yeah..yeah come in" you stepped away and watched him slowly enter the house, taking his shoes off before turning back to you. He didnt have a moment to speak before you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping him up into a tight hug.

His arms snaked around you, pulling you closer as both of your breathing became uneven.

"i-im so sorry...i missed you a lot and I havent texted and, fuck, youre here and im so-"

"shhh...shhh" his hand held your nape as you looked at you, forehead against yours, "dont apologize its okay"

"but-"

"no...lets just go sit down and talk" he whispered, rubbing your back.

You exhaled shakily "okay"

You led him over to the kitchen, still in absolute shock at the fact he is here with you right now. All of the guilt began to seep back in the moment you saw his face.

You took a seat at the counter and looked at him, the sun peaking in through the blinds, leaving stray lines of orange through the room.

He smiled and looked around, pulling the seat out next to you as he sat down.

"So.." you looked at him, swallowing harshly. "wh-"

"your mom called me" he spoke honestly, sitting down and shielding the sun with his hand. "I was worried sick about you, I cant lie"

Yep. Guilt.

"and I didnt wanna bother you, but she called me and said that you wanted to see me so..." he smirked a little, looking down.

You sigh loudly, "oh tae.....i never told her to tell you to come...."

He laughed, throwing his head back "ah I figured sort of...I knew you would have probably texted me yourself"

You nod, stomach fluttering at the sound of his amusement. "yeah..'m sorry for not texting, that was really shitty of me Tae"

"dont apologize, youve gone through a lot, I understand its not easy to jump back in yet...and thats okay." he whispered "but...how are you? what are you feeling?"

"right now? im....im honestly really happy you showed up...."

"yeah?"

You nod, "mhm, i, er, missed you" you fumbled with your words, not wanting to sound needy or desperate.

"I missed you too" his response was quick.

you both looked at eachother for a few moments silently, before you spoke up, "you ordered that pizza, didnt you?"

He began to laugh, "yeah I did"

"I knew my mom wouldnt know I liked bacon...." you giggled, he moved a little closer and smiled.

"and listen, im not here to course you to coming back to Busan, I just wanted to come check on you...because you know I love you always"

You felt your face heat up, "I know...I know tae, I love you too."

"how are you physically?" he spoke quietly

Shrugging, you answered truthfully, "I think Im okay....my body is beginning to go back to normal, so....."

"good, thats good" he nods

"mhm...im glad I have my mom, but I really did miss having you nearby, and I know you dont want to hear it but I have to say it" you mumbled

"you can talk, y/n"

"im so sorry...for everything....its not fair-"

"but-"

"just listen please, its not fair...what I did to you, and I shouldnt have left, that was so shitty to leave you back in Paris knowing you were hurting too"

His face softened

"and what I did has been haunting me so much that I was afraid to contact you in fears you resented me....in fears that perhaps you hated me now-" your voice choked

"y/n, no, no," he grabbed your hands, "I could never hate you....never ever" he whispered moving to see your eyes, "listen to me, It was a bad situation, and perhaps we could have done better, yes, but stop apologizing for dealing with grief."

He wiped the tear stain on your cheek, holding your face close to his, whispering, "does your mom still have popsicles in the freezer?"

The random question made you laugh, "what?"

"this is serious, y/n, does she?"

"I- I think?" you stood and watched him search, successfully finding them. "why?"

He smirked, "you know why" he grabbed 2 and held your hand, bringing you upstairs to your room, opening the window and climbing out to the ledge of the roof

A place you two always sat during your high school days...with popsicles.

"ohh...." you giggled, now understanding his method to the madness.

"been a longgg time since we sat here, why didnt we do it when we visited a few months ago?" he smiled, opening the wrapper and licking the watermelon pop

"Im not sure..." you opened your own, happy that the sun wasn't directly on you two anymore.

Taehyung laid back against the roof, eyes on you from behind. Its been so long since hes seen you, and with every passing day he grew more impatient.

When he got the phone call from your mom, he knew it was mostly her doing, but he was not about to pass up a free opportunity to see you, even knowing the risk of you despising him was still high.

He wanted to call you beautiful, the way the orange sky illumintaed on your skin, it blended perfectly, it was straight out of a disney Princess movie.

He had no clue as to what label you two stood as, was it okay to call you baby? there was never an official breakup. Was it too much to want to kiss you as soon as he saw your face? his body yearned for you in every way, he missed the feeling of your hand in his and your body on his chest at night.

He missed all of you, and it hasnt even been that long.

"you know..." he began, closing his eyes, "Im starting to think im a bit too dependent on you" his voice was teasing,

"why do you say that?" you looked back at him, licking the popsicle.

He shrugged, smirking, "just cant seem to stay away...."

"i dont understand you" you laugh, looking forward again. "ive been such an ass, Taehyung"

"youre not an ass you just feel things deeply and I love that about you"

"is this some kind of kink?" you joke, watching him laugh

"maybe?"

You shake your head as you continue to eat the pop, "I dont shame"

He looked up at the sky, glaring at a plane flying across. He wondered if you two could be seen from the window.

He wondered how tiny and insignificant you would appear to the passengers aboard, who had no idea what situation you both were dealing with, like how he didnt know what they were dealing with.

Life is weird like that.

What problems you have and seem huge may seem meaningless to others, or how from space, you are the size of a grain of salt. It puts things into perspective, and over the past few weeks, hes been thinking about everything deeply and truly....deciding that although it may change nothing, seeing you was the best option.

"Tae?" you spoke, noticing how quiet he got

"remember when we were 16 and it was Easter? My family was over with yours, and you and I climbed up here after dinner and tried to smoke my dads cigarettes for the first time?" he laughed at the memory

You smile, "I smoked it wrong and began to choke"

You both were giggling again now

"you almost swallowed it, how does one fuck up smoking so badly?"

You nudge him, "hey!"

He shrugged, still smiling

"you are quite the smoker yourself now, huh?"

"I grew up with him smoking so yeah, I sort of picked up on it"

You nod, listening

"you hate it though, right?" he smirked

"well you are a grown man, you can chose to do as you please"

"oh cmon dont play coy, you know you would never give up a chance to scold me for it"

"yeah youre right" you sigh at his knowingness "I worry about your lungs!" you tease

"my lungs are okay" he smiled as you laid down on the roof next to him, the sun casting both of your shadows behind you.

"you dont know that!"

"trust baby, if anything was wrong youd be the first to know"

You froze after he called you baby, it wasn't like you two had been gone for years, but neither of you had been lovey in over a month, it felt almost foreign, almost wrong.

He wasnt going to apologize, it did slip, but did he regret it?

nope.

His eyes scanned over yours, softly and lovingly as he moved his hand over your hair, pushing it out of your eyes.

You stared at him, an expression reading shock. He pulled away slightly

"am I making you uncomfortable?" he seemed worried that he stepped too far, scaring you.

"n-no!" you spoke, reaching for his hand. "it just feels odd you know? its not you, its just...."

"been a while" he finished for you

"yeah..."

You still felt safe with him, how could you not?

You didnt want him to make the assumption that you were not okay with his touch anymore, because that definitely was not the case.

You slowly cuddled closer to him, both of you laid on your backs as your head rested on his shoulder, his head leaning against yours.

Both of your lips were painted pink and red from the popsicles, it made you smile.

The sky above you two seemed so big, so endless.

Staring at it was almost frightening.

You reached for his hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, he quickly squeezed yours out of affection.

"ahh..." he spoke up suddenly, voice quiet. "I shouldnt.....I shouldnt have taken you to Paris"

You looked up at him

"maybe the plane ride was too much? maybe your body couldnt handle the stress?" he exhaled shakily, eyes still up at the sky. "Im sorry...I really am"

"you dont have to apologize for anything" you turned your body on your side so you faced him, though he still wouldn't look at you.

"hey.." you tried again, "you know, my mom told me she also miscarried when I was 3 years old...and thats why she never had kids after me"

He closed his eyes, squeezing your hand

"So I guess its runs in the family.....not our fault" you shrugged, "Its breaks my heart but...we dont have to blame ourselves"

He turned his head to your finally at the sound of your voice cracking, He brought you closer to his chest, hand rubbing your back. Taehyung swallowed harshly, clearing his throat to talk quietly "I've been...having a hard time dealing with it.

You rested your hand on his chest, looking at him sympathetically. His eyes were now watery, it took a lot to not cry yourself.

Youve already cried.

Youve cried so much

Perhaps you were now accepting the miscarriage for what it was, you were even able to say it aloud now, and thats growth.

You wished the same for Taehyung.

"that's okay, too" you whisper, hand snaking around to brush his hair between your fingers behind his head.

His eyes went back up to the now purple sky, tears reflecting the image in front of you. "do you think they are up there?" he smiled softly, rubbing your back still.

You look up at the sky, the clouds creating a beautiful set up as the sun set behind them. The world felt blanketed and secured in this moment, almost safe.

"yeah" you whisper, squeezing his hand, "but they are also here...with us, you know?"

He looks at you, tear marks on his face as you move to wipe them with your sleeve. "I think we will always be parents, that cant change. I feel that connection so deeply, and I know you do too. They arent gone, they just arent in this world" you add.

Taehyung smiled softly at your words, nodding slowly, "yeah....yeah youre right"

His thumb runs over your knuckles, calming you both down.

"I cant get myself to get rid of anything...like the stuff we bought." you mumble, looking down at your hands.

He chuckled, "mmh, you dont have too."

You sighed and looked at him again, a warm blush coating your cheeks.

"you know...I dont give you enough credit" he spoke "youve been through so much"

"Tae..." you brush his hair back, "youve given me everything....we need to look ahead...the past cant be changed."

He slides his hand under the hem of your shirt, touching the soft skin on your hip bone. It wasn't promiscuous or anything, simply an act of love and affection, silently showing you he's here and is listening.

"Im really sad" he choked out

You hugged him close as he began to cry into your shoulder

"its okay baby, its okay....its okay to be sad, you dont have to be strong for me" your hand caressed his back. "I love you so much, please know that"

He took a moment to calm down before pulling back to look at you, "y-youre right....we do need to look forward now"

You nod softly, holding his face.

You were a little worried to see him in this state, you didnt know he was feeling this and keeping it down for so long.

All you could do was comfort him and be there.

"I just.....are we still...." he trailed off, making you smile as you cupped his face again, brushing your thumbs over his cheeks lovingly.

"mm" you slowly leaned forward to kiss him

It was a nice kiss, not too slow but not too fast, just what was needed after a month of distance and no contact.

He blushed brightly, holding you as he whispered, "do you think we could start over? I really want to treat you right, and I want this to work. We can work it out right? the correct way this time?" his voice wavered

You nodded, still looking at him "yes....we can try again, the right way" you giggled as he leaned forward to kiss you again, this time a little quicker.

He bit your bottom lip, hands gently squeezing your hips

"baby-" you exhaled into his mouth, gently pulling back to look at him. "maybe we shouldnt"

"why?" he frowned, almost looking like a little kid

"well for starters we are on my roof" you giggled, sitting up

Taehyung smiled and looked around

"and....I dont know...sex is what brought us this mess" you teasingly nudged him, making him laugh. "lets just be with eachother for a little bit and let our feelings lead us to what happens"

He sighed, knowing you were right. "okay....can I still cuddle you though?" he whispered, making you coo at his cuteness.

"of course, lets go"

You slowly led him back into your room off the roof, closing the window before settling down on the bed with him. "when are you going back to Busan?"

He held you, face hidden in your neck "maybe in a few days...I dont want to leave you yet if thats okay"

"okay...thats fine, but, I think I'll head back with you...."

He smiled, rubbing your back "yeah?"

"mm" you kissed his head, closing your eyes.

You were still healing. To say you fully recovered was not true, but as you sat in his arms things felt normal again, even if it would be temporary.

Perhaps you needed to be with him to fully heal, to fully be yourself. Taehyung was your other half, and he knew you better than anyone. To give this another chance is like a breath of fresh air.

Putting your pasts behind you in hopes of feeling happiness again, in hopes of both of you becoming better people for each other.

Taehyung doesnt want to leave you, ever, and you cant say you want him to.

You dont spend half of your life with someone then let them run away just because things go downhill.

If your father was in your presence, you would teach him this lesson.

When you love someone, you hold their hand and walk through hard times together, you dont let them leave over something that both of you know you would need eachother's support for. To think- you almost let him out of your grasp, you almost lost him.

And Taehyung loved you so much...that if you asked him to leave....he would have.

You dont know what the future entails, and yes, its fucking terrifying. Life is scary, theres ups and downs, and suprises and failure, but theres also a lot of love, and happiness, and success if you look hard enough.

You do hope one thing for sure, and thats that he will be at your side as you grow up, to be there when you are right and wrong, healthy or sick, happy or sad.

As you both began to pick up the pieces of what was broken, you appreciated the past, knowing you had to let it go, but it also brought you here, back into where you feel most safe.

You renovated the apartment and turned the Nursery into a craft room for Taehyungs painting. He kept all of the baby belongings in the closet, hoping for the day in the future when he would open it again and feel that sense of excitement but nervousness.

You continued work and college classes, pursuing your acting career that youve always wanted, and when you graduated, Taehyung would never let you forget how much he admired you.

He kissed your neck softly, his hand pressed into yours as he hovered above you, "so beautiful, my love...."

you bit your lip before exhaling a shaky moan "ohh..f-fuck"

"so smart....youre so perfect baby, I love you"

He kissed you gently, still moving his hips against yours as you held him close to you, fluttering your eyes shut.

things had settled into place once again.

Taehyung got offered a job as an art teacher at the college you graduated from, taking the full time position while you worked at the local theatre, producing and preforming sold out plays every weekend.

The saving money part was hard for him, he wanted to buy you anything you laid your eyes on.

"did you seriously buy the couch?!" you tossed your bag, running from the doorway to the living room to see the grey couch you had pointed out shopping with him literally the day prior.

He shrugged, "yeah...whats the big deal?"

"taehyung!" you giggled and hugged him.

He was too spontaneous for his own good.

A few years passed, and looking at your current life now, you would not believe how much had changed. You can say for the first time in a while you felt happy...and oh what an exciting and freeing feeling that was.

"I love youuuu! my baby!!!!!" taehyung danced around on the icy sidewalk outside of your apartment door, it was new years eve and he was drunk.

very...very drunk.

He pointed at you as he sang, "my babyyyy! woo!"

You giggled, sitting on the steps and recording your man child boyfriend whom you loved so much. "baby be careful dont sl-"

too late.

He fell on his ass, laughing so hard he almost puked, which of course made you laugh too.

"cmon ya big baby" you ran over and helped him inside. Midnight had already passed earlier, pre-drunk taehyung had danced with you around the living room, gifting you a small kiss once the clock read midnight.

"hm, I dont get it, whats so different about a new years kiss? its like every other one?" you laughed after his lips left yours.

"well its special because I get to be the first to kiss you in the new year" he smiled cheekily

"tae...your the only one who gets to kiss me any year" you point at him

"damn right" he snaps his fingers at you as he walks past into the other room.

Every holiday you spent with him felt special, every event, every grocery run, it all felt so much more authentic now.

You two were in your mid twenties now, and a lot of mental growth had come along with that. With pride, you can say you were better people than before, and thats why things worked so well.

You could easily live like this forever.....

it was basically an endless sleepover with your best friend. You were okay if you could come home and see his face waiting for you on the couch.

Your sweet boy.

You had no idea what was gonna happen next, whether that was marriage, or another attempt at having kids- you felt ready.

Ready to give him anything he wanted in return for him saving you.

You could do anything, be anywhere or anyone, in good or bad conditions, and you will still only crave him.

Your lover.

You want him for months

for years

for eternity...

For Forever And A Day.

And God knows he felt the same.

-

A/N- wow guys....this is it....I cannot thank you enough for reading my first story on here, im not perfect at writing but you guys keep me motivated and confident in my work, and I love you for that. This will not be the end of this couple, we still have the Epilogue as well as eventual drabbles.

You guys are amazing. ily.

-Nini

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[propheticpanickingnerd]

Jason ships have been on my mind so im gonna write shit down

I dont think jason should date anyone specifically, maybe its cause the characterization of jason that i most adore is the "angry pit reaction" which is him not really wanting to do anything particularly, gets triggered, kills tim, regrets it, rinse and repeat. Can it be easily mischaracterized? Yes, of course. Do I care? Not really, cringe is dead and I live for fanfiction. Anyways, Jason shouldnt really date anyone cause the thing I always hate in relationships is when a partner gets angry as a way of coping and just destroys shit and breaks walls, like that's money right there, stop wasting money because of your temper tantrums you overgrown emotionally stunted child. Which is not to make people with that kind of issues feel bad, I'm just like, get your shit together, then date, no one should be forced to "fix" you that isn't the therapist you're paying.

So no, Jason shouldn't date anyone because I like my Jason emotionally constipated and I hate my relationships with emotionally constipated people.

HOWEVER

What I do LOVE, is the joke that Jason dates all of Dick's exes. All of them and more. By "dating" tho i fully means a few weeks at best full of hook ups, you're saying you're dating but you're just being friend and fucking at the same time and you know its not gonna last.

Like, for example, all of Outlaws. That's polyamoury right there!! I love bisexuals. The Ginger trio if you will, except one of them is emo and/or has far too much daddy issues.

I just genuinely enjoy the idea of Jason being like "oh you're done? You stopped dating? Are you over them? Wanna check?" Sends a pic to Dick of him making out with whatever ex he broke up with.

[wintergrew]

Actually i will say on KAYF...

The basic premise of KAYF was an idea I first got roughly ten years ago after watching various vampire media. (Let the Right One In, Shiki, etc.) Not the whole plot, but the basic premise of a (queer) couple broken up by one becoming a vampire while their town is being destroyed by...well, vampires. Originally with my friend's and my Star Wars ocs from the MMO swtor we were obsessed with and made a billion AUs for, but very quickly it became its own thing in my head with new OCs.

But at that point in my life i was not writing fiction. I was always too self conscious of my writing because someone flamed my cringeybwriting on Neopets when I was, like...8 or something. So I literally went a full ass decade without writing fiction (with the exception of a couple attempts i immediately abandoned because I hated them) until I decided to try again with South Park fanfiction because i don't even know. Which includes The Thief, which I was shocked people liked. It was a TERRIBLE point in my life, I should say, so having people enjoy what I wrote and saying nice things about it was quite literally one of the only good things I had.

But anyway I still had that vampire idea in the back of my head, but just as random scenes that played in my head of the two main charades + the person who ended up being Estella. (Though originally her and Scott's role was combined.) The plot wasn't really defined or anything, but the basic ending was in my head from the very very beginning.

Anyway...2020. i was supposed to see MCR. Then COVID postponed it. I was very sad about this. So I extra emo-ly listened to a shit ton of MCR. And listening to MCR, suddenly I was thinking about that vampire story and their music pretty much helped me put the plot into place. The terminal illness plotline. The vampire of the pairing being obsessed to save his love and the cruelty from the other vampires regarding that. And ofc the song Kill All Your Friends itself gave me the set up of an IT-like time skip where someone died and they all go back.

They were all still 100% OCs in my head at this point. I didn't really have much confidence anyone would like these idea but, I was actively writing South Park fanfiction people liked well enough. I'd only ever written fanfiction. So I was like "huh I guess I can make this idea Creek".

So I did. And then wrote three chapters and didn't update for a full year.

But then in 2021 it became my ADHD obsession. I stopped caring about The Thief Trilogy. All I could think of was KAYF and wrote the rest of it in three or so months... Over 100k words. Pretty sure the update schedule was longer than that, but I spaced out chapters by a week long after I was finished.

And people seemed to like it. It was too dark to be as popular as the Thief Trilogy, but I knew that. It was a much more personal story, though, especially with how emotional it was, so it meant SO MUCH to me that anyone liked it. Also because The Thief Trilogy feels basically just like a bloated fanfiction adaptation of the SOT game to me, while KAYF feels like mine, so the kind words for it meant even more in a way.

Until someone I thought was a friend trashed it relentlessly. Like, I'm fine with constructive criticism but they were just horrible. Spoiled the plot for people who wanted to read it directly after i asked them not to, went on condescending rants about how there was too much filler, how Tweek in it was an awful character who deserved to die, claimed characters were all too unsympathetic, joked about parts I meant in earnest, etc. And they got really mad at me that my feelings were hurt by this. It was a whole thing.

Anyway, I'm still to this day years later obsessed with this story year. I think about it every day, which is probably more unhealthy ADHD shit. And I always think about how to make it better. I hate how I wrote it so fast and didn't think about certain details or pacing or what have you. Like, once I finished writing it, I was sad because I wanted to keep writing it. I still do.

I hate that I disappoint people by not having it out there. I want it out there, just not the version I rushed in three months.

So, for now, the fic is hidden. Indefinitely.

Anyway if you read all this tl;dr rambling congratulations I guess.

[here4kpopfics]

Spotify decided the first song to play when I got home at 4 in the morning saying goodbye to my friends was Spring Day. So we’re gonna be emo rn.

This was by far the most exhausting week, but I barely feel it. I’m sure I will when I finally sit still for more than an hour. But good fucking lord let me gush over my favorite people okay?

First @theharrowing for being best mommy and daddy and hyung and just the most loving and caring and hilarious and beautiful person anyone could ask to be friends with. I’m so happy we live so close but so mad we also live so far. I will randomly drop by to just cuddle Oliver and annoy you with my love. Accept it, my hyung. 💜 (and tell your partner he is literally the best)

@blog-name-idk you are insane and I absolutely adore you so much. I’ll make it to yours and maybe ONE DAY we’ll take a normal photo together. But I also hope not bc that’s our *thing* now. I will get you into Seventeen and it’ll be fun. Let me know what kind of stickers you want for your laptop. I gotchu boo. 😘

@madbutgloriouspond I’m in love with you. Full stop. The appa to my eomma. You are beautiful and I love your freckles and I can’t wait to attend memes’ hair salon next time. Pls let us obsessed over Christopher and Binnie and fics and just I love you. I’m so happy I met you and Mango. So fucking happy. I’ll make you more bracelets. 💜

@echotoyou I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. you brought so much fun energy and my jaw was seriously hurting from how much I was smiling because YOU were so smiley. I love you. I adore you. I wish we could’ve had more time together. You are amazing. 💜

And finally the one and only beautiful @here2bbtstrash The one who is the reason I wrote LTDO and others. the one who beta’d FiC and has been nothing but amazing and supportive and just all around my favorite person on this toxic hellsite. The Taehyung to my Jimin. I will always be there when you need water or for me to hold something so you can pee or to hug you through Seesaw. I cannot put into words how much I genuinely love you and miss you so much already. My favorite babygirl. 🥺💜

[truegoist]

💘 + RIN x ATLAS

OMG </3 long post so

where they first met and how

Probably at a school gym, i mean im in a basketball team and hes in football soo fight over who gets to use the room first

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

HELLA LONG bc he’s petty and like “oooo i will never be that low to actually fall for that guy” etc etc

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

okay so I’m going to go ahead and say him first bc even in irl relationships I’ll flirt and shit w everyone but it takes me a hell lot of time to actually swoon

where their first date was and what it was like

PICNIC PICNIC PICNIC was pretty fun except turns out bringing dogs was not such a good idea <;/3

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

me obvi, probably started out w someone going “oo u two gay” and me being ye

who proposes first

rin this time he plans every single step to it

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

Not exactly single but rin doesn’t wants rest of the bllk guys to know bc they’re annoying

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

after his match def frfr

if they adopt any pets together

nope i have enough pets already

who’s more dominant

me B)

where their first kiss was and what it was like

Totally normal moment except his first automatic reaction was to go “Ew”

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

NECKLETS & PIERCINGS

how into pda they are

rin like %0 and me %100

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Him solely bc i always forget to bring one

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

my or his house

who’s more protective

Rin def

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

like a week lol. Mainly bc i love crashing over at even just friends houses

if they argue about anything

everything always doesn’t matter what I love arguing and he’s just petty

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

💪

who steals whose clothes and how often

I’d say rin only does so when he confuses it w mine (bc yk similar size both men’s shit both emo) and then refused to acknowledge it’s mine

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

probably either spooning or me just on top of him bc i love body slamming ppl

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

arguing </3

how long they stay mad at each other

not too long he’s way too in love for that lmao loser

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

rin orders whatever he wants for both of us and I just go along as long as it’s cold

if they ever have any children together

physically impossible but also I want children so adoption

if they have any special pet names for each other

loser, etc

if they ever split up and / or get back together

nah i don’t think so

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

oh I’m a pro at cleaning houses so very very clean 💪💪💪 I’d say rins part of the house is very minimalist and mine is just full of decorative shit and photos and all

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

i dont celebrate any of those stuff BUT MATCHING COSTUMES FOR HALLOWEEN

what their names are in each other’s phones

rin to me > headache.

me to him -> bbg

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

ye collecting news articles together

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

He wakes up first bc yk football shit and I fall asleep first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

interchanging

who hogs the bathroom

me </3 (putting on piercings + dyed hair shit)

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

i do !!

[v1ll1anousblackhat]

M̸i̸n̸d̸ y̸o̸u̸ a̸l̸l̸ t̸h̸i̸s̸ f̸i̸c̸ i̸s̸ g̸o̸n̸n̸a̸ g̸e̸t̸...e̸x̸p̸l̸o̸s̸i̸v̸e̸ 🌚

E̸n̸j̸o̸y̸, y̸o̸u̸ s̸u̸i̸c̸i̸d̸a̸l̸ m̸a̸n̸i̸a̸c̸ 🧨🩸😋 (Fanfic my best bud Tai wanted me to write)

"S̸o̸ l̸i̸g̸h̸t̸ e̸m̸ u̸p̸ u̸p̸ u̸p̸ u̸p̸!"

Monday, The worst day of the week. Tai got up out of bed. "Fuckkkk Ion wanna do this shit bruuuu I did my time" Tais edgy ass wanted to scream in a pillow she dreaded school so damn much she wanted to...blow it up 😏🧨 Tai got outta bed used the bathroom blah blah blah she got dressed, drank coffee, blck eyeliner usual emo kid shit....she got her bag and walked to school.... 15 minutes later she was hella lage to first period but she usually is she doesnt wanna be there so early anyway..."Great Mr BJs class. Kms" Tai walked in class. Mr Johnson eyed her and greeted her "Goodmorning, Tai." Tai rolled her eyes and sat on her desk slouthing her bacm and fidgeting with her pencil as the teacher explained the assighment Tai heard boys whispering making fun of her "CuT mY lIfe InTo PieAceS" "EmOo GuuRrrlll" "Yo SuIcIdE SqUaD" Tai couldnt handle it and put her earbuds on full blast theu were all gonna read a boring and useless story anyway so she didnt care. She was researching some rare illness she discovered instead of dking the assnighment and the teacher noticed and obv got mad so he slipped her a detrention slip. She was so tired of dealing with teachers, annoying kids always giving her shit it was this day she was gonna let something ignite.

-R̸e̸c̸e̸s̸s̸- Tai was hanging with her two buddies. Toby and Alan. Now Toby and Alan don't go to school because their run away psychotic hathetmen that meet her at the desolate area of her school.... anyways.... "Yo guys...I got an idea" The two Hatchet men looked at her "W-whats up Tai-?" Toby asked. "Lets fucking explode the school with fire works and gasoline and light the prison up. Im at my goddamn limit." The two looked at eachother and smiled mischievously "Hell...yes...we love that idea!" Tai smiled and explained the plan.

It was 5th period the period before lunch and tai decided to skip and escape all together. She called up her two buds and they all walked to the nearest mini mart to grab some fireworks. Toby already had Gas and lighters/Matches (ofc he did ...) so saved Tai her money. They surrlunf the school with gasoline being carful not to gey caught toby tracing the halls with gas as Tai traced the entrane with gas, Alan traced the outside of the classes full of gas. Then they ignited the fire works and they blew the hell up following like dominos the entire school blew in flames. It was like one big star of disaster. Tai didnt feel remourse no...she laughed her ass off the entire time. This was the best thing in her lifetime. Screams of so many people were heard Toby and Alan stokd there..mercyless... Tai realized how many people she killed... "Holy shit...wellllll....mosttttt of them desserved it. Asswholes." Tai hugged her two hatchet welding friends and "BOOM" The entire school in smitherines... "uhjh yeah lets go before the cops show up-" Alan said "Uhhh yeah fuck this" Toby spoke back and the 3 musketeers sprinted to all hell away from the skull as police lights were surrounding the school luckily enough they escaped and hung out for the day to celebrate Tai's accompolishment. They were in town by the mall outside the mall Alan spotted Ri & Evan

"Yo Wassup Ri!" Tai fist bumped her best friend who wasnt at her highschool today..? "Yo you didnt go to school?" Ri smiled and looked at Evan the two in sync "Fuckkkk noooo!" "Dude, Tai me and Evan skipped and decided to just go to the mall and stay here half of the day HAHA "Yeah it's pretty fucking fun!" Evan said with that evil smirk on his face. "Welll... in that case can we join ya?" Ri nodded and held Tai's arm "yeah obviously you mofoooo" then the group of misfits fucked around in either hottopic or spencers Tai and ri stole a few belts and shirts while Even was being immature asf in the back of the spencers but Toby laughed his ass off (yo if you dk wha I mean by bck of a spencer's lmk) Alan was standing besidd Toby giggling a bit. Yeah...its true this school semester did end with a BANG 🧨😏🎆🎇

[hopefulsapphic]

miscellaneous tag game

tagged by @searchingfortheuniverse! tysm i love these things <3

A band you don’t like that many others do: uhh i'm really not a hater and i genuinely do not have that strong of opinions about music and bands, so i really can't think of any right now

A childhood memory that you remember vividly: god i have so many vivid childhood memories it's hard to pick just one. my most vivid memories are probably the ones i have of playing with my twin when we were pretty little. they all tend to blend together, but i can still picture so clearly the castles we built out of soft blocks and the little lego people and toy cars we moved around them like dolls and the stories and scenarios we made up and acted out and the dragon costume in his closet he always tried to scare me with

Least favorite animal and why: insects probably, but only the really annoying little flying ones that buzz so relentlessly and never take the hint when you shoo them off. also whatever wretched little bug bit me in my sleep the other night

Hot fandom take: idk if this means like for a specific fandom or just fandom in general, but either way i don't really think i have any? then again i didn't think that that "steve harrington wasn't a bad person/boyfriend he was literally just 17" post i made a little while ago was a hot take either but apparently it was a little more reactive than i expected

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: i'm literally always wearing jewelry; i've got two hands full of rings that i basically never take off like ever, and it's rare to see me without earrings in and necklaces on. my favorite piece at the moment is probably my little silver bat necklace i got at an antique mall about a year ago

A movie others liked but you didn’t: guys i'm really not a hater. also i tend not to watch movies i just don't have the attention span tbh

Three things you love about yourself: my creativity, my perseverance, my sense of self-expression

A place you hope to visit in the future and why: everywhere, there's so much of the world i haven't seen. more realistically though, i hope to visit my twin in washington sometime this year, probably in the summer

An actor that gets on your nerves and why: again i'm. really not a hater. i tend to be utterly indifferent to like 95% of all celebrities, i just can't care about them enough for them to even be able get on my nerves

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? there are a few alternative music club nights (emo, goth, metal) coming up over this next month and i'm very excited to dress up and go to those with friends!

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: okay now i'm a hater. it's harringrove 😬

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? all fandoms are toxic if you venture far enough or have the misfortune of landing in the wrong corners of the internet, but i think my worst experiences have been in areas of the percy jackson fandom (in the mid 2010s especially; ik it's probably kicking up again now with a new wave of toxic fans but i am living in blissful ignorance of that discourse) and, in more recent years, the stranger things fandom (i've had to narrow my involvement down to basically only one specific ship fandom within it and even then only seek it out on tumblr; tiktok is rancid)

List three things you find beautiful about life: human connection, the art of words and stories, the joy of flowers in the spring after a particularly desolate winter

Any dreams for the future? just the typical stuff really: graduate university (i have one semester left that's insane), move out (for realsies, not just for school), and find myself a solid job and make myself a solid home and be able to be self-sufficient and successful and happy in this world. ideally i also dream of actually finishing and publishing a novel one day

How are you really feeling today? i have not had even three consecutive hours of sleep a night for the past week and it's making me feel just a little bit insane, and i'm a bit anxious about school and about meeting up with a newish friend tomorrow, but overall i actually feel pretty good. i finally feel like i've got real proper friends here in this city and i've been seeing them a lot lately, so that's been buoying an overarching sense of positivity despite my sleep deprivation and anxiety

tagging @turquoiseorchid and @rainbowteri if you feel like it! and if anyone else wants to do this too, consider yourselves tagged also; live your dreams, overshare on the internet 🫶🏻

[planetsallalign]

What’s your favourite type of edible ? Worst high you’ve experienced written in depth ? Best type of music to listen to while stoned ? Sex while high or no? & what’s your go to munchies?

I'm still feeling out what my favorite type is. I've had some seltzers that I like because it doesn't make me too sleepy but just finally makes my brain go quiet and fuzzy and everything around me seems to soften.

Worst high? Probably 6 years ago the very last time I smoked. It was Christmas Eve and I was home at my apartment with Rocket watching movies. I had smoked outside a little earlier and it kicked in, but badly. I just felt jittery and not relaxed, then I looked over at Rocket and it did not look like he was breathing, so I laid my hand on his side, and he felt cold/like he wasn't breathing and I leapt off the couch and went into full panic attack mode, sobbing and barely able to breathe. He was fine, just deep asleep and I just did not register that he was breathing/warm when I touched him. Since then I have not smoked again. And you all know how much I love that cat, so you can imagine how bad that experience was.

Best type of music - it depends, usually I'm listening to old emo shit from high school but some certain songs I like to lay on the floor and listen to, because I know it's weird (but it makes sense to one of my best friends and I), some songs you need to lie on the floor to really feel, just like some songs need air and you need to roll your windows down when they come on

Sex while high - if I am in the mood then I don't mind it, but its never been an omg that was such a better experience thing, at least not so far.

Go to munchies - usually I like to have prepped everything to make a delicious meal, then take my edible and start cooking. By the time I'm done usually the edible has kicked in and I like to sit and really enjoy a meal and all the flavors. I haven't really had the munchies bad so far with any that I've tried, I'd say though for snacks I usually go for chips & salsa but I like to put a dollop of sour cream along side the salsa and let them mix together. Oh but a few weeks ago I made a focaccia bread and dipping oil and that came out as my edible kicked in and I could not stop eating it.

[blackbird-brewster]

All the even numers >:)

Bahahaha, alright Anon. I saved this for last.

2. Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

(Answered here)

4. Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

I'm a side sleeper, mostly facing outwards. But sometimes, I wind up on my back and when I do I snore so loud Doom Them has to wake me up.

6. Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

I can't draw for shit. Writing is my creative talent

8. What’s your favourite band/artist? 

I have SO many. I listen to a wild range of music. Everything from ska to indie rock to punk to emo to pop. Some of my all-time fave bands include: The Killers, Foreigner, Avett Brothers, Postal Service, Betty Who, Beyonce, Lizzo, Tegan and Sara.

10. How tall are you? 

5'6" or 168 cm

12. Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

@otahkoapisiakii @bittersweet-bibliophile @the-kazoo-kid @gaelic-symphony @mygenitiveisobjective

14. What’s your favourite colour? 

(Answered here)

16. Want any tattoos? What of? 

I have around 35 tattoos (hard to count when you have half sleeves and such). I DO want more tattoos, but in the past two years one of my chronic conditions has made it so I'm allergic to my tattoos. They get welts and hives all the time. Which really sucks because uhhhh, my entire body is covered in them 🤷‍♂️

18. Who is the last person you texted? 

I sent Frankie some smut as a little treat!

20. What/who do you miss? 

I miss all my loves in the US. But in terms of 'what' -- the thing I miss everyday is being able to leave my house without it having to be an entire Event. I miss life before the pandemic where I didn't have to take 100 pre-emptive steps to protect myself every time I go out. I miss 2020 when everyone (in my country) was in this together, when everyone was masking and staying home when they were sick, when everything was accessible by being online. I miss when people cared.

The pandemic isn't over. Some of us have never left lockdown.

22. How much sleep did you get last night? 

I actually went to sleep hella early. I was asleep before my daily kudos email (this is how I tell time, okay?) which comes about 00:20. Then, I got up early with Doom Them -- so I think I got about 7 hours? I only need 5-6 to be functional.

24. When was the last time you cried? Why? 

Last night I cried from laughing so hard at this picture of our cat

26. What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

I don't believe joy has an age limit. I'm a regular at our local toy stores, I know all the staff, I'm always buying new fidget toys and Squishmallows. I got into Squishmallows about the same time I got my Autism dx (mid-2020) and since then, Squish have become a constant form of comfort for us. We currently have about 300 in our collection -- and that's after some major downsizing. There's no way to know how many squish we've rotated through over the years. Here's the last full squad photo we took in Jan 2022 (there's nowhere in our house to do a full pic of the 300 we have currently)

28. How are you, really? 

I'm actually doing well this week. Summer weather arrived without warning and my depression is lifting. I feel really inspired for the first time in weeks!

30. What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

Finishing Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3!!!!!!!!

32. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

If I could see my US friends without actually having to go to the US itself, that would be perfect.

34. What’s your favourite flower? 

(Answered Here)

36. Do you like your middle name?

Not really. My middle name is the name of some random ski instructor my parents met the year before I was born (I have theories about this, about why my dad randomly remembered this person's name -- but that's a whole other thing. Oh, and also that's one of my middle names, it's complicated. I have like 5 names)

38. Do you have any phobias? 

Ornithophobia (fear of birds). Also scared of horses, cows, and airbags.

40. Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

YES!! I love living ten minutes from the beach. We go there a lot to relax and scream at the ocean. I prefer sunny weather, hands down, but it's cloudy 90% of the time here.

42. Tag 5 of your favourite blogs

Oh, this is really difficult. I'll just tag some rad mutuals: @knitmeapony @chaotic-archaeologist @unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix @gaelic-symphony @artcake

44. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

I've said 'I love you' to at least five people today and it's only 10am. And I meant every one of those. I'm very much the type of person who loves my partners and friends openly and freely.

46. What do you need when you’re sad? 

Cranky Cave(tm)! Cranky cave is when I'm having meltdowns. I go to my room and turn on the fairy lights and galaxy projector. Grab a ton of squish and fidgets. Bury myself in blankets. And watch my comfort shows.

48. Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

Doom Them, Kay, Coyote.

[Send Me Asks]

[tirednotflirting]

hi gonna continue to be emo in text posts ignore me if you wanna.

so the sunday after calm was released was my last day of the like ~extended spring break~ during my senior that was extended bc despite going to literally one of the top public institutions in america, they had no fucking clue how to transition to this online class bs even when they were doing it a week later than most other schools (totally not bitter about that, can you tell?). we were still in that ‘oh this will be over by may’ mentality. like i was certain the no shame tour was still going to happen at this point. in reality, i would travel further than the block surrounding my apt building twice in the next two months and the only people i would physically speak to were my roommate and the cashier at the corner store who would sell me individual rolls of toilet paper for $5. 

calm provided an escape as I took exams in my bedroom and tried to do group projects over zoom. watching insta lives of michael and calum dancing around their backyard would make me laugh when nothing else could. reading little stories about boys in bands would help introduce me to a community that carried me through the horrors of the post-grad job search like three times over. 

basically calm got me through 2020. it made a year i expected to only ever look back on in horror be filled with memories i’ll treasure forever. calm brought me friends thousands of miles away that i never would have had the chance to make otherwise. it reminded me of the power of music and fandom and the joy brought into the world by celebrating a thing.

its the sunday after 5sos5 was released. i’m doing laundry and having an honestly excellent cup of coffee. later i’m going to plan out the outfits i’m going to wear on a trip to nyc with a bunch of people i only know because of calm. we’re gonna dance and sing to so much music (including 5sos when the sun is barely up) and eat bagels and laugh. feels very full circle. feeling very very grateful. 

love you all lots. let’s keep celebrating <3