#feeling isolated

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen, thank you for all you do. I'm a young lesbian (going into my first year of university) and while I've met a few other lesbians in my life and retained a friendship (and I am deeply grateful for her), I worry that there are not many others out there like me. I've never had a girlfriend, and while I don't really feel the need to be in a relationship right now, I can't help but feel a little lonely. I'm worried that my strong opinions will make finding someone I click with even more difficult. Do you have any words of wisdom for a young woman worried there really aren't that many fish in the sea?

I didn't date until I was in my early 20's and i was out of college. I was terrified of being a lesbian and I knew boys grossed me out so I just waited.

In retrospect I was really not ready or that interested in dating while in college. I just felt that i didn't have the time or energy and literally no one really interested me enough to give up my focus on school, friends and coming out (not coming out. Yet everyone and thing (movies, TV, magazines, music etc) was telling me I HAD to date in order to be a "normal" teenager to early 20's women. It took some effort to just not date.

Most of us lesbians feel that our dating is already pretty small and then to have the knowledge (that straight people forget) that we are not attracted physically to all woman. AND even in the group of those we find physically attractive there are even few we share similar values and interests with.

This numbers game can really mess with our heads and panic our hearts. The key is to expand your world as you go. Don't be afraid to attend events or gatherings you are unsure about.

Follow what you are interested in. If you love cats volunteer at a shelter or rescue non profit. Attend their events, take the training. If you love reading lesbian history volunteer at the lesbians or lgbt+ archives at your school or at a place nearby. Start a simple book club or Cat Chat or Dog Discussion for lesbians using the meet up app or good old fashioned black and white fliers.

Attend women's festivals or music venues that feature women singers. Seek lesbians publications of zines on line and subscribe. If you attend a group or event and it is not for you take in that experience and move on.

The more you expand your world the more women you meet and in the meantime you are doing things you enjoy. AND at the end of they day you will have gained knowledge about what you like and dislike about dating, friendships and social situations.

[redfoxv]

The want to be wanted

The desire to feel desirable

The long to be longed for

[kittydoremi]

Taking a break from the Sonic fandom

[drippingwithwords]

Do you know that the number one lie is, “I’m fine?”

Really, it is, you can look it up. So, I wonder about all the lonely people, who say “I’m fine.”

What happens to them if they stay lonely forever?

I mean–maybe their world began to crash, like a tsunami burning pools of chaos at their feet over and over. Because that does something to a person, you know? Tragedies piling on top of catastrophes–fast & heatedly. So, after every forfeiture–they crash, like that first wave and begin to retreat, following each new episode–exhausted. 

But I bet withdrawing can be lethal–it becomes comfortable.

And maybe they do it unknowingly–but before long, being alone, becomes as comforting as wearing their favorite hoodie jacket. I don’t know.

But I want to help them all, don’t you?

Because I know so many get hit hard by life. And they say “it makes you stronger,” but it breaks people, too.

And isn’t that, ok? That they break? I think so.

Because not much can throw punches harder than life. So, I wonder about all the lonely people.

What happens to them if they stay lonely forever?

Gosh, I hope something beautiful happens for them. Like one day it all transforms and they wake-up to a lovely life.

Because life can get really lonely, sometimes, I know.

_____________________

...Follow me on Instagram

_____________________

[bonesfucker3000]

sorry for this haha-

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

[crabussy]

slightly furious reminder that fish do in fact feel pain and do in fact experience fear and distress when in pain since people seem to love spreading the myth that fish don't feel pain. what is it with people assuming a creature is incapable of feeling pain or emotion just because it doesn't have complex facial muscles. come on gang

[abandoned-quiche]

I LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS BTW. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR HATE FOR THEM ON MY POST

[wordx]

You think you're an introvert because you like being alone, but maybe it's not about solitude. Maybe it's about peace. Maybe it's the quiet you've fought so hard to protect. Maybe it's the safety of your own company, after being around too many people who made you feel like too much or not enough. You smile differently around people who bring you calm. You speak more. You laugh louder. You come alive in rooms where your soul doesn't shrink. You're not afraid of connection. You're just tired of surviving it. So don't confuse your boundaries with isolation. Don't confuse your quiet with disinterest. You're not closed off. You're just waiting for someone who feels like home, not a battlefield.

[wicktalks]

lauraryder // of age - the frights // damaged goods - the narcissist cookbook // fat funny friend - maddie zahm // black box warning - leanna firestone // cough it out - the front bottoms // mellowmash33 // the ramblings of a lunatic - bears in trees // prologue - chase petra // fiona apple // critical role - sam riegel // conversations with friends - sally rooney // on lonliness - dante émile

[wombpala]

retconning Dean into a perfect mini-parent is so gross and flat bc the gas station funyuns and stolen Christmas barbie dolls of it all is what makes it so gutwrenching. like ofc he wasn't churning out home-cooked meals ofc he couldn't shield Sam from loneliness or instability!! he was a CHILD. isolating 2 little kids and asking 1 of them to be the other's sworn protector is psychologically ruinous for BOTH of them. Dean can't save Sam from the abusive situation they're BOTH in no matter how much of himself he carves up. and that. is what makes me wanna claw my eyes out.

[thebrainrotsreal]

Drew this real quick because I fucking love these two so much ???? Especially Bee. I wish they interacted more so badly. PLEASE.

Also learning how to draw these guys.. slowly.

[jazbell]

ive said it before and ill say it again: not nearly enough fanworks talk about THIS part of the souyo dynamic, the weird savior complex and trust yu has w adachi directly breaching the trust that yosuke has put on him. not only here, but in the game too, when yu chooses to meet with adachi in the tv world by himself without telling the others, yosuke waits for him outside anyways bc he knew something was up. yosuke feels betrayed by the fact that yu trusts adachi not to kill him right then and there more than he trusts the team to help him, but he still welcomes him back with a smile. because yu is the leader and yosuke will trust in him no matter what, even if it means watching him walk into the mouth of the man who killed the girl he liked, knowing full well it could snap shut at any moment and break his heart all over again.

basically too many souyo fics about internalized homophobia and not enough about all the other weird shit they have going on.

[supernovasimplicity]

fearne choosing to go back to ligament manor, when before she was unknowingly kept there

dorian asking his parent's approval instead of taking it out of fear

chetney gaining control over himself and passing along his knowledge to others

ashton seeking answers instead of hiding from them

orym choosing to live his life to the fullest, balancing old and new responsibilities

laudna choosing a quiet life, when before she had isolation forced on her

imogen using her powers to help others and build new communities, instead of being shunned because of them

bells hells giving the gods a choice in their future

everyone getting to choose

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[troubldteenz]

just read kill switch. you just had to twist the knife man☹️

link to fic here by @king-candybug-backup

[fonthoura]

Julian Bashir's favorite book is Flowers For Algernon. That's it, send tweet.