#feeling kinda nostalgic tonight

[es-3]

did everyone work somewhere as a teenager that started out as a normal job and then slowly became their home, and they and the rest of their coworkers would stay there hours after clocking out. and it had super chill management but that’s ok cuz the teenagers ran things and it turned out mostly fine (the ceiling is literally being held together by bandaids and fishing line) and everyone there had mediocre to poor home life’s so they were each others found family. and after leaving, they compare every job to that one which is not a fair comparison whatsoever because it wasn’t a job it was a home. or is that just me

[astrxealis]

dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it

[the-prettiest-teardrop]

WORLDS COLLIDE

ii. jealousy

Luke Castellan x gn!reader

Warnings- Abandonment issues, Swearing, Jealousy.

Word count- 1.2k

“So, what cabin are you in Y/N?” One of Luke’s friends asks one morning while you’re all eating breakfast. Since you and Luke started dating, you began hanging out with his friends

“Oh, I’m not in one, I’m unclaimed.” You explain calmly, being unclaimed didn’t really bother you much.

“Sorry, uh I didn’t know.” He replies.

“Nah, it’s cool man, really, plus, means they’re close to me.” Luke speaks up, his hand resting comfortably in yours. Somewhat selfishly, Luke wanted you to stay unclaimed, to stay in the Hermes cabin with him forever. He was scared you’d grow apart once you left his cabin, his abandonment issues reminding him that you didn’t have to stay, you could leave whenever.

You smiled softly after hearing his comment, leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder. “I do like keeping him close, I’m gonna miss him when I get claimed.” You spoke in an almost nostalgic tone, making Luke’s heart seize in his chest.

“We’ll just have to be more sneaky when it comes to cuddling.” He teases lowly, poking your side as he does, earning a laugh from you, and rolled eyed from the others.

“We get that you’re in love and all, but we don’t need to see all that.” One of the boys comments, causing Luke to roll his eyes and you to laugh even harder.

Luke could tell something was up when you went running up to him while he was doing archery, something you’d rarely interrupt.

“Luke! Guess what?” You pant out, stopping in front of him to catch your breathe.

“Baby, baby, breathe, deep breaths, now tell me what’s wrong.” He speaks softly and calmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back. He was worried that you had gotten hurt, or something worse.

“I-I- I got claimed!” He didn’t know how to react, he was both excited for you to finally feel like you belong, but he was also so scared of losing you.

“Baby, that's great, what cabin?” He speaks softly, still trying to soothe you, helping you to speak more rationally.

“Cabin 10, Aphrodite.” You say, now much calmer. You had caught your breath and you were smiling up at him.

“Baby, holy shit, that’s amazing!” His panic and fear was taken over by excitement as he lifted you into his arms, spinning you around. He didn’t care who saw, he was so proud, so excited, his partner, child of Aphrodite. He sets you down, kissing your head before pulling you close to him.

“I- I’m kinda scared, to be in a cabin without you.” Your voice was quiet, and his heart dropped at your sad tone. He couldn’t lie, he was a little relieved to hear that you worried, to hear that you needed him.

“It’ll be alright, I promise, and I’ll fight anyone who’s mean to you. Plus, we can cuddle up in those fancy pink sheets.” He smiles as he speaks, trying his best to cheer you up. His smile widens as a small grin appears on your face. “C’mon, lemme see that pretty smile.” He coaxes, lifting your chin up to see your face better. He caresses your cheek when he sees you smile, happy to see it back on your face.

“You promise you’ll come into my cabin so we can sleep together?” You ask, eyes wide as you speak.

“Of course sweetheart, I promise.” Luke sticks out his pinky, hooking it with your’s in a signal of promise.

“I should go set my stuff up, I’ll see you tonight.” With that, he watched you walk off. His heart began to sink, his brain convincing him that you were leaving him like everyone else did.

You were late for dinner. You were never late.

He saw you jogging towards your table after chatting with some girls from your new cabin. Jealousy spiked in his chest, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Everything okay?” He asks, placing a hand on your thigh as you settle beside him.

“Yeah, I just had to talk with Emma and Charlie about getting settled in the bunks, sorry it took so long.”  You apologize, his hand rubs your thigh as you speak in a self-soothing motion.

“It’s alright.” He speaks, but you could hear something in his tone that wasn’t there before.

“What’s wrong baby? You sound like something’s up.” Fuck, he had been caught. He quickly tried to come up with some sort of excuse to keep you from getting worried.

“Um, it’s nothing, let’s talk about this later tonight, okay? I don’t want everyone to hear about this.” He explains lowly, trying to keep from scaring you.

“Alright, that's okay.” You reassure, a hand going to his back to rub soothing circles. Luke was still astonished by the way you seemed to know exactly what he needed and when he needed it.

He stepped into your cabin that night around 9pm, seeing you sitting on the bed with some others, giggling away.

“Oh, my boyfriends, can you give us some time?” You ask them, they nod and walk to their own beds. Luke’s heart flutters as he hears those words, he loved being reminded that he was utterly and entirely yours.

He walks over, kissing your head softly before crawling in bed beside you. One arm wraps around your stomach, the other beneath his head to prop him up. “Hi.” He says, earning a sweet giggle from you as you hear him.

“Hi.” You respond in a tired tone, nuzzling into his neck. His arm once draped around your shoulders moves up to lovingly stroke your hair. “What did you wanna talk about?” You ask softly, your voice a little muffled by his skin.

“Can we wait until everyone is asleep?” He asks, not wanting the whole cabin to hear about his issues.

“Of course, we can just cuddle until then, they all should be out pretty soon.” You explain, and you were right, within about 30 minutes, the cabin was silent.

“Baby, um, this is hard for me to say, so be patient.” Luke explains softly. You move so you can perch your chin on his chest, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Well, uh, you know about some of my issues, right? Like the ones with abandonment?“ He asks, watching as you nod before continuing. "Okay, well, with you being in a different cabin, and us having less activities together now, those issues have kinda been flaring up. I guess I’m just worried you’re gonna leave me, which I know you’d never do, but its what my brain keeps telling me.” He explains, taking a deep breath before giving you a moment to respond.

“I understand that, but know that I love you so, so much, and that I’ll make sure we see each other often, and that we still hang out as much as we can.” Luke’s mind goes blank as you speak, you love him? No one had ever uttered those words so casually to him, never made him feel deserving of love.

“You- you love me?” He questions nervously.“

“Of course, I love you, and I want to make sure that we stay happy and in love.” He was taken aback, unable to believe your words.

“Well- I- I love you too.”

[moonlightndaydreams]

Second Chances

Jisung is determined to lose his virginity at tonight’s house party. He never expected you, his former best friend, to be there.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

Pairing: Jisung x female reader

Word Count: 6,989

Trope: Friends to enemies to lovers. High School house party. Loss of virginity. Forced proximity.

Author’s Note: I have decided to write this story in an Australian setting (I was feeling nostalgic) where the drinking age is 18, the final year of high school is year 12, and a lot of students turn 18 during that final year. The characters in this story are 18 because I don’t want underage drinking in my story.

Now, as much as it is set in Australia, I was actually inspired by a 90’s American High School movie called “Can’t Hardly Wait” that popped into my head while I was driving the other day. Particularly Seth Green’s character’s storyline, that I thought “That’s so Hannie coded.” Side note: Seth Green was in the Buffy series and I may have had a crush on him. Shh, don’t tell anyone.

Warnings: anxiety, anxiety attacks, alcohol, past relationship trauma (Han was really mean), mention of pot and vaping, swearing.

NSFW content warning below the cut.

CW: protected sex, mention of sex toys, orgasms. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Jisung ~

“It’s happening boys!” Exclaimed Jisung standing in the middle of the local bottle shop. “Tonight is the night.”

“The night for what?” Jinnie turned his head from the row of bourbon bottles he was perusing.

“Tonight I’m going to have SEX!” He announced proudly.

“Wait! What?” Jinnie said, visibly surprised by his friend’s declaration.

“But you don’t have a girlfriend!” Seungmin piped up after choosing a pack of premixed Smirnoff from the shelf.

“I don’t need a girlfri-”

“And,” Seungmin Raised his hand to hush his friend mid-sentence. “You have no clue how to talk to girls.”

“Yeah dude, you kinda gotta know how to talk to girls before it moves to sex.” Jinnie implored. “Well, usually anyway.” he added.

Jisung scratched his head. “I know how to talk to girls.” he huffed. The other two chuckled and gave each other an amused look. Jisung furrowed his brow. “I do know how to talk to girls.” He whined defensively.

“Yeah yeah. Come on, let’s just buy this alcohol and head over to the party.” Jinnie smirked. “The lucky lady awaits.” he winked, slapping his friend on the ass.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

Standing in the front yard belonging to the most popular kid in the school, Jisung looked up at the double-story dwelling. It was already thrumming with drunk year 12 students, and music was blaring from the living room. Lights were on all throughout the house, except for a few rooms upstairs, which Jisung decided was where people were having sex. Where he’d be having sex in the very near future. If all went to plan.

He swallowed nervously and slipped his hand inside the pocket of his baggy jeans, feeling for the condom packet he’d placed in there safely.

“Man, you're gonna rub a hole in it at this rate. Then what are you gonna do? Convince her that your pull out game is strong?” Jinnie teased. 

“You’ve been checking it’s still in there for the last half an hour.” added Seungmin, and gently put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey Seungmin, wanna bet it’s still in his pocket tomorrow?” snickered Jinnie.

Suddenly a roar erupted from somewhere inside, along with the sound of bottles smashing, followed by loud cheers.

“Oh fuck.” Jisung mumbled, suddenly overcome with anxiety.  He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  He could do this. “Alright, what are we waiting for?” Jisung tried to sound cool and suave, but his voice cracked with nerves. He took a deep breath, and with a self-determination not dissimilar to the Little Engine That Could, Jisung, with his two best friends in tow, entered the party.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Y/N ~

You sat there on the couch in the middle of the crowded living room, questioning your existence. This wasn’t even a party from your school. Well technically it used to be your school, but not for the past two years. Some students still recognised you though, and you felt like crawling into a hole every time someone pointed a drunken finger at you and yelling “Oh my god y/n! I thought you’d fallen off the face of the earth!”, or worse, hug you and say the exact same thing.

As the couple to your right’s makeout session started to heat up and the girl climbed onto the boy's lap, her flailing limbs almost knocked your drink out of your hand. You reminded yourself that you’d come to this party as wingman to your one and only friend, Felix. Felix, who begged you to support him as he came to confess his love to some guy named Chris. You had questioned why he needed to announce his feelings at a fucking party and not online like a regular person, but he’d insisted that this was the only way.

Now Felix had disappeared, and you swore the couple next to you had escalated things to the guy rubbing the girl’s pussy under her skirt. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” a voice to your left interrupted your thoughts. You snapped your head up to meet a rather attractive boy with almond shaped eyes and light brown hair.

“What? Like how to dissociate when people are feeling each other up next to you? Or how the fuck did I end up here in the first place?” You said sarcastically.

The boy smirked. Like a devil. “Well, no. I guess I don’t know what you’re thinking afterall.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why? What did you think I was thinking, hmm?” You challenged him.

“That that looks like fun,’ he pointed to the horny lovers next to you. “and where can I hook up with a guy who knows what he’s doing?” He leaned in “and just so you know, that guy there has no clue what he’s doing.”

You were shocked by this boy’s self assuredness. “And you’re the expert, I suppose?” You raised one eyebrow.

“Well if you come upstairs with me, I can show you that I am very much an expert.”

You laughed dryly. “As much as I am really not enjoying it here,” you gestured around the room. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to respectfully decline your offer.”

Minho leaned back and examined your face as though he was weighing up if you were worth pursuing. He clicked his tongue. “Suit yourself then.” He said indifferently. “But if you change your mind, you can find me upstairs. But be warned, you might have to wait your turn.”

With that the boy stood up and left you sitting there stunned. God what a dick, you shuddered and pulled your phone out of your handbag. No messages from Felix. You quickly texted him asking him where he’s at with “Operation Bang Chan”. He hated that that’s what you called tonight’s efforts. He thought it was more a “Sincere Confession of Love”.

Love. You snorted to yourself on the couch. Fuck love. You loved a boy once. Once upon a time. Fuck, that was part of your hesitation in even coming here tonight in the first place. Your former best friend whom you secretly loved. What if he was here? What if you ran into him? You couldn’t think of anything worse. Just the mere thought of him conjured a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You tried to shake the feeling, but shame crept into your chest. The humiliation and rejection from that day seeping back into your body. The feeling as real, as visceral, as the day it happened. The heartbreak, and heartache, suddenly felt like a fresh wound, even though you’d  had two years to heal. His words, his voice, cold and cruel in your head, like he’d only just spoken them.

“Fuck off slag. I’m sick of having you hang around me anyway. Actually, I never even liked you. I just put up with you because I was bored.”

Tears pricked at your eyes. You needed some space. No. You needed to leave. You slipped your phone away and headed upstairs in search of a bathroom. Your plan was to pee, call Felix to tell him you had to go, then catch an Uber home. Easy. Only three steps. You’ve got this. You continued to mumble positive affirmations to yourself as you trudged up the stairs, avoiding the loitering drunk students along the way. 

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Jisung ~

From the outset, Jisung knew he didn’t fit in. He recognised the majority of the kids from the smalltown school, but he hadn’t the faintest idea what most of their names were. Apart from spending time with Jinnie and Seungmin, Jisung kept to himself. He immersed himself in his music. Listening to, and making, music. It was actually how he met his two best mates - in the arts department. Jinnie was a dancer, and Seunmgin loved to sing.

“Are you doing okay, Ji?” Seungmin checked in. Jisung nodded but didn’t speak. The three oddball boys had positioned themselves in the corner of the living room with their bourbon and cokes, and a bottle of premixed Smirnoff for Seungmin. 

To their right, was a group of rowdy athletic types. If this were an American teen movie they’d be called the jocks. But these guys weren’t bullies like a lot of the jocks were in the movies. These guys were just good at sport, and were actually the type to get along with absolutely everyone. How people could actually make small talk to teachers and adults of the community, Jisung didn’t know. But Changbin, the kid whose party this was, and his best mate Chris, were able to do it with ease. The pair were also the most decent humans of the lot. It was the reason Jisung even considered coming to the party in the first place. He knew they wouldn’t kick him out on the front lawn for being unpopular.

As Jisung continued to take in the scene around him, he realised that there were in fact a lot of different friend groups there. From the unpopular bookworms who studied hard, to extremely popular bookworms that studied hard. To the potheads (which Jisung recognised more than he wanted to), and the kids that wagged school and vaped. There were the Surfies, the Gamers, and a few guys that were obviously in their twenties that hadn’t seemed to move on from high school. Losers. Jisung thought to himself, despite very much feeling like a loser himself.

“What about her?” Seungmin pointed to a group of three girls who looked around wide eyed as though they’d never seen a party in their lives.

‘Or her there?” Jinnie pointed to a pair of girls Jisung recognised from his music class.

As the pair continued to target potential candidates to “pop Jisung’s cherry” as Jinnie so eloquently put it, Jisung continued to scan the room. He was taken aback when his gaze landed on a boy whose body language oozed fuckboi confidence. Minho. Jisung was pretty sure that was his name. Fuck why couldn’t he feel that confident? Jisung studied “this Minho” for a long moment. He was seated obnoxiously comfortably, manspread on a couch, a beer in one hand, his other arm spread out across the back of the seat. He was talking, no, hitting on, a girl sitting beside him. Jisung couldn’t quite see her face because some guy was standing obstructing his view. Then all of a sudden Minho stood up, winked at two other girls, and headed upstairs. The two girls followed him. Damn. Thought Jisung. Two girls?

Jisung’s gaze reverted back to where Minho had been flirting with the girl on the couch, wondering what her reaction was to him just getting up and summoning two chicks to follow him upstairs. To those dark rooms. 

The guy who had been standing in Jisung’s line of vision stepped to the side momentarily and he got a clear view of who Minho had been talking to.

His heart stopped beating, and he felt a surge of heat wash over his face before his blood drained away entirely, leaving him feeling like he’d seen a ghost. You. Then you stood up and headed upstairs too.To where Minho was.

The room felt like it was spinning, and the voices around him became muffled like he was underwater. Oh god he was going to be sick.

“Ji? Ji are you okay buddy?” A voice, Seungmin? asked. But Jisung couldn’t answer.  “You’re all sweaty, man.”

“I think he’s having a panic attack. We should probably get him some fresh air. Hey, Ji. Mate? Let’s go somewhe-“

“I gotta get out here!” Jisung cried. He yanked Seungmin’s hand off his arm and rushed away as fast as possible.

Upstairs.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Y/N ~

There were several doors on the landing and you had no idea which one was the bathroom. You cracked open a door revealing what seemed to be a bedroom with some dark shapes moving about on the bed and making some grunting sounds. You quickly closed that door, thankful they didn’t seem to notice your intrusion.

You tried another door. But this time the occupants did notice you. “Well, it looks like the kitten has changed her mind.” Minho said with an air of triumph. The two girls that were clinging onto him turned to you with a look of disgust. You rolled your eyes, closed the door and quickly moved on.

Finally, you found the bathroom. You closed your eyes and leaned against the door, relieved you were finally alone. You let out a long exhale, then opened your eyes to take in your surroundings. The bathroom was spectacular, although rather garish with the decor. Everything in the room was huge. The room itself was twice the size of your bedroom, with a large bathtub along the far wall, and a giant window above it. The vanity was long with an expensive looking custom sink with gold tap fittings, and the mirror above was trimmed with a gold frame to match. This Changbin fellow was rather well off, wasn’t he?

You relieved your bladder on what you were certain was the most expensive toilet you’d ever sat on, and watched your reflection as you washed your hands at the sink. You barely recognised yourself tonight. This setting, a school party setting, was not where you fit in, and you could tell just by looking at yourself. You looked so lost and out of place. You wondered for a moment what life might have looked like if you hadn’t moved and changed schools? You wondered if you would have been able to face the boy that broke your heart. Would you have gotten over him? Could you have faced him everyday? If you were honest with yourself you hadn’t gotten over him even now, even when you hadn’t seen him since that day. Even when he hurt you so fucking badly.

You shook the thought away and picked up your phone to see if Felix had returned your message. Flat. The battery was fucking flat. Well that was just fucking great. You groaned in frustration just as the bathroom door opened and slammed closed, causing you to snap your head over to the door to find yourself looking at the back of a boy wearing baggy jeans and an oversized t-shirt and leaning his face against the door.

“What the fuck, dude! Don’t you know how to kno-”

The words died on your tongue when the boy turned around and you were standing face to face with the last person you ever wanted to see again. 

He stared back at you. Pure horror on his face. 

“Jisung?” you felt your heart pounding in your chest.

“Fuck.” Jisung mumbled and quickly turned back around to open the door. He turned the handle, but nothing happened. He tried again. Nothing. He was becoming more and more frantic as he gripped the handle, rattling it and pulling at the door, like he was trying to run for his life. “No. No. No. I have to get out of here. I can’t breathe. I have to get out.” Then the door handle fell off entirely, silencing him momentarily. Jisung bashed his head on the door, then turned and sank to the floor defeated. He scrunched his eyes tight, brought his knees up to his chest and covered his face in his hands. “I have to leave. I can’t be here. You can’t be here.”

You watched your former best friend falling apart on the bathroom floor. So he still had anxiety attacks then? Something pulled at your heart. 

Putting everything you felt about Jisung aside, the anger, the heartache, the humiliation, you moved closer to him, as if on autopilot, sliding down next to him on the floor. “It’s okay Ji.” you soothed. “You’re having a panic attack. We’ve been through these before, remember? And we’ve gotten through it every time.” 

Jisung shook his head. “No. I have to get out of here. Trapped. I’m trapped. Why am I hallucinating? You’re not real. I never hallucinate. Oh god the attacks must be getting worse. I fucked up so bad. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I need to get out of here.” He rambled, rocking his body back and forth. You gently placed a hand on his knee. “Ji. I need you to focus on your breathing okay? Focus on the exhale. That’s it, long exhales. Focus on my hand. Can you feel that?” 

You sat with Jisung through his attack, gently bringing him back to the present moment and walking him through the steps you knew worked for him. Eventually, he removed his hands from his face and peered at you through teary eyes. “I thought I’d never see you again.” he whispered. “Why are you here? Why are you helping me after…after I did what I did?” he averted his eyes.

You sat up straight feeling uncomfortable at the mention of that day. “Well, you needed help.” you sucked in your lip. “And we need to call someone to open the door. Where’s your phone?” 

“Phone?” Jisung echoed vaguely. He patted his pants. “Shit.” he reached inside his pockets. “Fuck!” he groaned and you could visibly see his anxiety bubbling up again. He pulled out his empty hand, not noticing he’d dropped something out of his pocket. You picked up the little square wrapper, only releasing what it was upon closer inspection. A condom.

So he goes to parties and sleeps with girls then?

“Um…here. You dropped this.” you said awkwardly, handing the condom back to Jisung who glared at you as he snatched it back, shoving it deep inside his pocket again.

“Well?” you said. Jisung didn’t respond. “Your phone?” you added expectantly. The sooner you got out of there the better.

“I-I don’t have it.” He said quietly. I must have dropped it. Out there.” he gulped. You banged your head against the door in frustration and closed your eyes.

“Wait. Where’s your phone?” he quizzed defiantly.

“Fucking flat.” you replied not opening your eyes. “Eventually someone will need to use the bathroom, right? Right?” you peered over to Jisung who looked exhausted.

“I think this house has at least four bathrooms. So our chances of escaping might not be as good as you think.” he replied.

“Fuck.” you sighed.

“Yep. Fuck alright.”

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

You spent the best part of the next hour trying to figure out a way to escape. Starting with screaming for help, and bashing on the door, to eventually finding the clean towels and pulling them out of the vanity cupboard with a great escape plan of tying them all together and using it as rope to climb out the window.

“I don’t think it’s going to work.” Jisung said watching you sit in the middle of the bathroom floor attempting to tie two towels together. You scowled at him.

“There aren’t enough towels, and they're too chunky to tie.” he said plainly.

“Well it works in the movies.” you huffed.

“Pretty sure they use bedsheets not towels. Anyway, I need to pee so…” he gestured for you to turn around.

You rolled your eyes and turned away, focusing on your plan.

Jisung flushed the toilet and washed his hands.

“Fine. I give up.” you conceded and tossed the two towels back into the pile and threw yourself on top of it dramatically.

“Look,” he said, pulling the towels out from underneath you. “We might not be able to gallantly climb out the window, but we can make the floor more comfortable.” he started laying the towels out on the floor in front of the bathtub and then sat himself down. “Yep. Much better. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t feel my arse before.”

Sighing, you crawled over and sat beside Jisung and leaned on the side of the bathtub. He was right, this was a little more comfortable.

“So now what?” you said looking at the ceiling.

“I guess we really will have to wait.” he shrugged.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Jisung ~

Time passed slowly, and Jisung didn’t know whether he should attempt to make conversation or stay quiet. You probably hated him after the things he said to you. Should he bring it up? See if you were open to talk about what had happened? Should he just make small talk and pretend nothing had ever happened at all? In the end he said nothing. At least that way he couldn’t make things any worse.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t use your-” you nodded towards Jisung’s pocket where the condom packet was safely tucked away.  “I mean, I’m sure you can go one weekend without sex.” You nudged him in the leg teasingly.

“Well, about that.” Jisung cleared his throat. “Well..I’ve never…well.. you know?” He hesitated and looked away. “Slept with anyone.” he said shyly.

“Oh.” You said, sounding surprised by his admission. “Ooh! Right! So let me get this straight, you came to this party tonight planning to lose your virginity?” You cocked an eyebrow.

“Hey!” He whined defensively, making you laugh. He hadn’t heard you laugh in such a long time. Jisung never thought he’d get the chance to hear it again after you were gone. 

“Well, if we do get out of here, there’s a guy across the hall who’d probably be happy to help you out. Apparently he’s an expert.” You said sarcastically. “I’m sure he’d love to give us both our first times.”

Jisung met your gaze. “Wait, you’re a virgin too?” he asked wide eyed.

“Why? Does that surprise you, Jisung?”

“Well, yeah. I was certain a girl like you would-” Jisung’s eyes widened even more. “No! That came out so wrong.” He clapped his hand over his mouth.

“What? A slag like me?” you said coldly.

Jisung grabbed your hands, panicstricken. “No, baby!” he cried. “Oh, god! No. I never thought that! I fucked up so bad that day. I…I was a fucking dickhead. I was mean. Oh fuck, I was so cruel to you.” tears filled his eyes and began to spill down his cheeks.

You looked down at the floor. 

“Baby, baby…please look at me. Say something.” He squeezed your hands in his. You didn’t pull away.

“What did I even do to you to make you say those things? Why do you hate me so much?” you asked quietly, turning to him.

“I…don’t hate you baby! It… I… well I was told you’d been sleeping with some guy. I mean, I know we weren’t actually going out, but when I’d heard you had… slept with someone…and that you were moving schools too… and hadn’t told me that either… I just freaked out. I was hurt. I wanted you to be with me. But you didn’t want me. I thought you weren’t going to tell me anything and you’d be gone. Gone with another guy, and leaving. Behind my back. I was so pathetic.”

You sat in silence taking in what Jisung had just shared. 

“You really thought I’d do that to you?” you said eventually. “Jisung! Why didn’t you just talk to me? Why believe what some bitch told you?” You started to cry too.

“I know I shouldn’t have believed her. She showed me text messages and everything. Texts you’d allegedly sent.” He shook his head. “And then I found out it was all a lie. They’d fucking made that shit up. And you’d gone. Then I was angry that you didn’t confront me, pull me up on it. That you just let me say all those horrible things to you and you said nothing. You didn’t even try to defend yourself. That’s when I had the biggest panic attack of my life. When I realised how bad I fucked things up.” 

Jisung sobbed as he thought back to when he told you he hated you. That you were a nuisance to him. He hadn’t even meant any of it. Not really. He didn’t think anyone would ever really know how much it was killing him to speak those words. How it felt like he was being stabbed in the heart when your face fell. He even knew the exact moment the words hit you the hardest. The way your eyes blinked back tears. Jisung winced at the memory. He’d tried to tell himself that it was for the best. That it was the easiest way to break the friendship off. That you deserved it, even. But you didn’t deserve it. Any of it. You hadn’t done anything at all. It was his fault.

“Why didn’t you come find me? Apologise? Make things right?” You croaked.

“I was sure you’d have moved on, and I believed you were better off without me.” He hung his head.

“Ji. You hurt me so much. You know that right?” 

He looked at you and nodded solemnly. “I know.”

“Like, no one has ever hurt me like you did. You made me feel worthless.”

“I’d do anything to take it back. To make it right.” Jisung whispered. He looked at you with regret in his eyes.

“But,” you looked directly at him. “At least I now know the reason you behaved the way you did. But fucking hell man, you went about it in the worst way possible. Look, I’m not forgiving you for behaving like that. Not by a long shot. But,” you sobbed loudly. “But I missed my best friend.” You began to cry harder, losing all self control and letting the tears stream down your cheeks. “I missed you, and I didn’t want you to hate me like you did. You hated me and I didn’t know why?” 

Jisung pulled you close to his chest and rested his chin on the top of your head as you cried against his chest. He hated himself for how he’d made you feel. He was responsible for this. He was responsible for fucking up your friendship. He was in love with you and he’d pushed you away. He wanted to look after you and take care of you, but he’d told you he didn’t want you around. He wanted to be the one who made you smile, not make you cry.

His life hadn’t been the same after you’d left. No one was there to share his thoughts with, or stay up late talking about random shit, or share his music with. There was no one there who could help him through his anxiety the way you could. No one laughed at his silly jokes the way you did. No one made him feel like he could be his awkward, quirky self except you.

But somehow fate had brought you back together and he was determined to fix this.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Y/N ~

You let yourself relax into Jisung’s embrace and cried your eyes out. You felt safe in his arms despite him being the reason you were hurting. But he was hurting too. Both when he thought you’d betrayed him, and even now. He was hurting now and you couldn’t hate him. You kind of understood his perspective. You could definitely see that he knew how he’d fucked up.

You don’t know how long you sat there like that, but eventually you lifted your head and looked at Jisung. “Am I all red and puffy?” You smiled despite the heaviness in your chest.

Jisung half smiled. “Yeah.” He said softly. “What about me?”

You reached up to wipe Jisung’s tear streaked cheek and took in his features. You really looked at him. He was still your Jisung. His cheeks weren’t as chubby, his jaw a little more coarse where he shaved. “You’ve grown up.” You whispered and your eyes locked. Your heart sped up. The way he was looking at you, it was different to the way he’d looked at you previously. The tension was palpable.

Jisung cleared his throat and broke eye contact. “Well I’m an adult now.” He joked like he was trying to change the energy of the moment. “I can vote now.” He added proudly. 

“Hmm lucky us, huh? Allowed to vote.” You followed his lead. “And we can drink? And get into nightclubs and pubs.”

“I’d rather just have a quiet movie night than do all that going out.” He said thoughtfully. “I’d prefer the quiet life I think.”

You leaned away from him and looked at him quizzically. “But what about your music? Aren’t you wanting to play in some of those places?”

“Depends. Will you come watch me if I do?” He asked.

You nodded. “I miss your music.”

“Well I’ve written a lot of songs in the last couple of years. Mostly angsty stuff.” He blushed.

“I’d love to hear everything if you ever wanna show me.” You leaned back against the tub. “Well here’s to adult life, hey.” you sighed.

“That’s if we ever actually get out of here. We might survive a couple of days in here, but the outlook doesn’t look good.” Jisung laughed dryly. “But at least we have a toilet.” 

“And water to drink and wash ourselves with. I like the look of this bath.” You glanced over your shoulder.

“We might starve to death, but we can enjoy bubble baths in the meantime.” He joked.

“I’m pretty sure I saw some organic, all natural sugar scrub when I was searching the cupboards. Maybe it’s edible?” you suggested.

You both laughed, finally feeling more at ease with each other. It felt familiar. It felt nice.

“I can see the news headline: Two virgin teenagers starve to death in a luxurious bathroom after being trapped for three weeks.” You announced in your best newsreader’s voice.

“God, that’s sad.” Jisung shook his head. “Hey? Do you remember that pact we made?” he turned to you.

Your laugh faded. “Oh.” You cast your mind back. “Oh my goodness. Yes! I remember.” You covered your mouth to hide your smile. “If either of us hadn’t had sex by sex by eighteen-“

“We’d have sex with each other.” He gave a shit eating grin. You smirked at him and shook your head in disbelief. “Jisung!” You punched him playfully in the arm and leaned into his body. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and squeezed your arm affectionately. This felt so natural, so easy. You laid your hand across his waist, still so tiny, and played with the fabric of his shirt. “Ji? Did you mean what you said earlier? That you wanted to be with me. Like more than just best friends?” You waited silently for him to answer.

“Yeah. I always wanted to be more than just your best friend.” He said in a quiet voice.

You slowly lifted your chin up to look at him. He gazed down at you with the softest eyes. Slowly, he tilted his face down towards yours and brushed your lips with his. It was electric despite it being the briefest of contact. He pulled away just an inch, hesitating to continue. Waiting for you to give him a signal to either keep going or to stop. Your eyes flicked up from his lips to meet his eyes momentarily before wrapping his shirt in your fist and pulling him back into another kiss. An unexpected whimper got caught in your throat as Jisung’s lips moved against your own. Slow but firm. His kiss felt hopeful, like a promise.

“I should have come and found you, begged for your forgiveness.” he said breathily between kisses. “I’m sorry baby, I really am.”

“Shh. Kiss me more.. It feels so right.” you sighed and pulled him back in.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Jisung ~

It did feel right. Kissing you. Jisung wanted to show you how much you meant to him. How sorry he was. How much he wanted to make it up to you. Your lips tasted like heaven, and your body so soft and warm in his arms. You were real and this was really happening.

He cupped your jaw, initiating a deeper kiss and you opened your mouth in response. The moan that slipped from you as he dipped his tongue in to find yours went straight to his cock. You pressed your body against his, panting as your tongues danced, like you were trying to crawl inside him. He could hardly control himself when he felt your hand slip under his shirt and caress his bare skin.

Jisung pulled away abruptly, eliciting a wine from you in protest. You looked drunk and delirious with flushed cheeks and soft, unfocused eyes. You looked like perfection.

“Ji, I want you to be my first.” you declared with a hopeful expression.

Jisung blinked thinking he misheard.

“W-what?” he stuttered.

“I want you to be my first.” you repeated, not breaking eye contact.

Jisung swallowed and studied your face trying to make sure you knew the weight of what you were saying. “Do you want me to be your first too?” you asked in a small voice.

“I want you to be my first and my forever.” he whispered before he could stop himself. Shit.

“There’s my songwriter.” you smiled, stroking his cheek. Then your hand went to rest on his pocket where the condom resided. 

“What? Here? Now? On the bathroom floor at a party?”

You nodded.

“Baby, this isn’t how I envisioned it. I mean, not that I have ever imagined it. Okay, I have imagined it. But…it’s not very romantic.” he looked at you desperately, hoping you’d come to your senses, because if you didn’t he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself.

“Jisung, please.” you purred. Fuck, it was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard.

“How can you want me when I hurt you like I did?” he leaned his forehead on yours.

“Let’s forget that right now. I know you’re sorry. I really do. And I know that it wasn’t really you. Let’s focus on moving forward.”  You slid both hands up underneath his shirt making him shiver. His mind automatically imagined what it’d feel like if you wrapped a hand around his dick.

“Okay.” he said finally. “But you have to tell me to stop if you change your mind at any time.”

“Okay.” you whispered.

If this was going to happen, on the floor of a bathroom at a damn house party, then Jisung wanted to at least make it as comfortable for you as possible. He rearranged the towels to provide as much cushioning as possible, and he opened the blinds and turned off the light to allow natural moonlight to fill the room.

Then he was laying you down gently on the floor. “Are you going to undress me now?” you asked boldly.

Jisung felt so nervous as he fumbled at your clothes, peeling off your shirt and jeans, leaving you just in your underwear. In turn, you pulled his shirt off and ran your hands up his back while you pulled him down into a kiss. He let his hands explore your bare skin, his desire, his need, to be closer to you growing stronger by the moment. He was certain you could feel his erection against your leg. You pulled him further on top of you, opening your legs and inviting him to nestle his hips between them. You’d definitely be able to feel his erection now. You ground your core up against him, making him moan and grind back in response.

“Fuck, baby.” he mumbled into your neck. “Feels s’good.” he peeled himself off you to kneel between your legs, taking in the sight of you while he rubbed circles on your hips. Then bravely he brought his thumb to graze over your centre over the top of your panties. You pulled in a sharp breath and Jisung couldn’t help but smirk.

“Ji, please! Take off your pants…I want you now!” you plead. Jisung closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to control his nerves. This was actually happening. He was about to have sex, and with the girl he’d dreamed of sharing this moment with.

“Please.” you practically begged and your hand slipped down beneath the front of your panties and rubbed at your clit.

Jisung sprung into action. He removed his jeans and boxers, and then peeled your panties off, revealing how your fingers expertly slid through your wetness. “Fuck!” he groaned, and quickly rolled the condom on. 

“Jisung!” you gasped. “You have such a pretty penis.”

“Yeah?” he teased as he positioned himself above you again. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” he asked gently.                

“I’m sure, Jisung.” you locked eyes with his.

Jisung lined his cock up with your entrance and gently pushed inside an inch, feeling your pussy stretch around his tip. He carefully pushed in a little further, your warmth inviting him in and enveloping him. “Is this okay? Am I going too fast?” he inquired.

“Jisung. I may be a virgin but I own a dildo. Please, please I need you in me.” you whimpered.

Jisung’s cock pulsated at the image of you fucking yourself with a dildo, imagining what you’d look like showing him exactly how you did it.         

“Oh so you’ve been stretched out before huh? Well then.” he pushed himself in all the way and paused.

“Mmm hmm. But it’s not as thick as you. You…you’re making me feel so…so full…so stretched. Fuck, you feel so good. So perfect for me…please…can you move now?”

Jisung reached down and gripped onto your thigh, lifting it and pushing it a little more to the side. He rested himself on his forearm and took you in a deep kiss. At the same time he pulled his cock out halfway and sank back in. You both breathed out shakily. This felt too good. He started with a slow rhythm, gradually building up the pace, careful not to thrust too hard. You were so wet, and so fucking tight, It took all his self control not to start fucking you with abandon. But he didn’t want to hurt you. He wanted to give you whatever you needed right now and let you set the pace. It was his absolute downfall when you spoke next.

“Fuck me harder, Ji.” you whimpered.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Y/N ~

Jisung felt heavenly inside you, but you needed more. You needed to really feel him, to feel how much he needed you, to make you his.

Jisung hesitated. “You sure, baby? I might hurt you?”

“Come on pleeeasse… I wanna be yours.”          

Jisung suddenly snapped his hips making you cry out in pure pleasure. “Yes, like that. Don’t stop.”

“I’m not going to last, baby. You feel too…too…fuck.” he panted. 

Jisung began to perspire, beads of sweat on his brow, his hair damp. Sound of your skin slapping together filled the room and you were grateful for the loud music downstairs.

“I’m so close.” he whispered. 

‘It’s okay, Ji. I’m close too. Rub my clit while you fuck me. I promise you’ll like what happens when you do.”

Jisung slipped his thumb in between your bodies. “Right here, baby.” you slipped your hand over his, adjusting the position of his thumb so that he could feel your clitoris. “Rub it in circles. Like this.” you guided him for a few moments before letting him take over.

It was enough to take you to the precipice. “I gonna cum, Ji, fuck me through it.” you cried as your back arched off the floor. His thrusts were deep, hard and controlled and that’s when you felt it. The coil in your abdomen snapping and you were being flung off the cliff.

“Oh god…fuuuuckk! You’re squeezing me so tight… you’re…” he grunted.

“Yes, I'm cumming. Cum with me Ji!” you cried out.

You felt Jisung’s hips falter, and an expression of pained pleasure washed over his features as he filled the condom.

He collapsed on top of you and you held him tight, while you both came down from your highs.

“Oh my god. That was incredible. I could feel you cum.” he lifted his head and looked at you in disbelief.

“It was pretty perfect.” you agreed.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

~ Jisung ~

After you had both cleaned up, which was easy considering you were in a bathroom, you found yourselves fully dressed and sitting back on the floor in front of the bath.

"You know, we could have run a bath and had sex in that.” you suggested as an afterthought.

“Baby,” Jisung said in a serious tone.  “Do you really want to put the past behind us? Start fresh? You’ll really have me after…?”

You took his hand in yours. “Yes, yes I do. But you have to promise to talk to me before ever accusing me of anything. Okay?”

He nodded. ‘Yes of course.”

He leaned in and kissed you, before a banging at the door startled you both and broke Jisung from the bubble you were in. “Ji? Ji? Are you in there, mate?” Seungmin called from the otherside of the door.

“So, should we let them save us, or stay like this just a little bit longer?” he whispered, secretly hoping you actually wanted to stay like this forever.

The end.

🍻 🍸🍹🥂🍾

Thank you for reading my story. I love sharing my ideas with you. If you know any Han Jisung fanfic fans please feel free to reblog and tag them 🥰🥰🥰

@channieandhisgoonsquad @itshannjisung @noellllslut @kangnina @queenmea604 @queen-in-the-shadows @weareapackofstrays

[lovelettersforthedamned]

Too Close For Comfort: Calling The Shots

--genre + trope: collegeAU!, SMUT, fluff at the end tbh, nsfw (not safe for work)

--pairing: tasm!peter parker x afab!reader

--word count: 2.0k

--warnings: smooching, mentions of injury, kinda dom!reader, blow job, PinV, unprotected sex (don't even think about it), cream pie, cum play, slight mention of gwen :0

--gif credits: @gatorstillman

Tuesday, October 19

Peter always seemed to figure out how to loosen the grip an argument had on your heart. He is too damn good at it, even when he was the one that instigated it. There was no escaping what just happened, especially when he’s looking at you like this. His eyes are luring you in like a moth drawn to a flame. You hold back the urge to fall for his trap and plant your lips on his. Although you cracked the bedroom window to let some air in, the space between you and him starts to feel heavy. The only sound you hear is the quiet breaths leaving his mouth as his eyes bore into yours. 

There’s no denying that the tension is still apparent, yet the raised voices from before are no longer at the forefront of your mind. All you can think of is Peter. His presence is so overwhelmingly large that it consumes every line of thought. Your heart skips a beat at the concept of him, forgetting that he is clearly in front of you. His senses pick up on it, “What’s your pretty head thinking about that’s got you so lost?” 

“Just thinking of you,” a smug look dancing its way onto your features. You leave your response open for interpretation because you are thinking of him. You’re thinking of his ability to tick you off so quickly, his forgetfulness, but you’re also thinking of how he shines so brightly on days when the sun doesn’t come out, and his quick lightheartedness. But most importantly, you think about how much you love him. 

He replies, “Oh god, you’re making me nervous sweetheart.”

“Good,” you quip back before breaking the ice and connecting your bodies together with a kiss. Your lips are molding together in a harmonious dance that has you reeling for more. This moment is so comfortable and so nostalgic. You place a hand on the side of his face as you pull him in for more. The energy between you is electric. You don’t know if that is because of the quarrel or because you haven’t seen each other all day, but you’re not complaining. 

The events of tonight are long forgotten because you have Peter here, you have him now. He lays back onto the mattress, not without a quiet but apparent wince. You pause and pull back a little, looking at his injury and then back up at him. The sudden realization of his physical state makes you question if continuing with this is even morally right. Your mind is racing and Peter can see it painted on your face. “Hey,” he interrupts your train of thought, “Don’t worry about that, I want this, but if you change your mind and don’t want to then I don’t want to either. You call the shots, sweetheart.” That seems to have resolved the crease between your eyebrows and let go of the swarming thoughts. That was all you needed before you resume the kiss. 

Now on top of him, he puts both his hands at home on your waist. You work together in tandem, fitting each other perfectly. Still conscious of his side, you plant your hips down on his own as the momentum creates friction between you. There’s no stopping Peter as his hands wander from your waist to squeeze and knead the soft flesh of your butt. A moan escapes your lips, and before you can focus back on him, he slips his tongue into your mouth. There is no mistake that tonight will be a resurrection of emotions between you.

You make your way from his lips down to the side of his neck, specifically a sensitive spot right below his ear. A low moan comes from him and gives you motivation to keep kissing down his neck. The lean area of his chest gives away how he’s feeling, he’s panting heavily only from the kisses you’ve been giving him. There is a sense of power that fills you when you see this version of him. You are making him feel like this. 

Once you have made your way down, you back off of him and begin to pull the rest of his suit and lower his briefs off his body, you following suit by peeling the clothes you had on, off. He peers down at you from the top of the bed as you crawl back up, and place yourself between his legs. Sitting on your knees you look at his semi-hard cock. Running your finger from the bottom of his length to the top, you feel him shudder. A smile is planted on your lips at the thought of making him wait for you to fully touch him. Taking a hand to your core, you gather some of the wetness formed there and spread it across his tip. He sucks in a gasp, “Oh my god-”. Along with your arousal smeared on him, a small amount of precum makes its way to your palm. The combined substances act as more lube to start stroking him. 

You glance up at him to see his eyes screwed shut and eyebrows furrowed together. This is exactly what you wanted, what you needed. Leaning down, you peck the side of his length and run your slightly parted lips to the tip, taking him fully into your mouth. One thing about Peter is that he is big, there is no denying that now as he’s barely fitting into your mouth. You warm yourself up by not pushing yourself too much but definitely going further than you expected. His moans are building in a beautiful crescendo, echoing within the walls of your bedroom. God, you love that sound. He places his hands on each side of your face, simply admiring you, moving the hair that has fallen into your face in the process. Never ever does Peter push your head down, he would rather die. He knows your limit and god forbid he ever oversteps it. 

Taking a second to breathe, you release him with a pop and start placing gentle kisses on the underside of his head. Every peck you give him makes his heart stutter, but you’ll never know that. You regain your breath and ask sweetly, “Are you alright, my love?”. 

A breathless response is given back, “Yeah…I’m perfect, actually.” An airy chuckle follows. You left him right on edge, you can tell. There’s a tenseness to his body language, never mind his wound, which is already beginning to heal due to his senses. 

He props himself up on his elbows, wanting to get up so you can continue. You push him back down softly as he huffs in defeat and confusion. “Can I take care of you this time?” you ask timidly. Excitement bubbles in his chest at the question. You don’t do this often, but it’s always fun to switch things up with him. He nods eagerly, too thrilled to create a response. A giggle erupts from your chest, “Alright, just let me know if I’m hurting you.” You’re always so aware, that’s one of Peter’s favorite things about you. 

Using your knees to move your core to meet his cock, you sink down. The familiar stretch greets you like an old friend, closing your eyes to savor the feeling. A warm sigh leaves your lips, while the most pathetic whine leaves Peters. You adjust your feet to be placed on his thighs and your knees point out to give him a better view. You lean forward to plant both your hands on either side of his torso and lift your hips to completely detach yourself from him before slamming back down on his cock. This time an almost pornographic moan is heard coming from both of you. 

Creating a constant rhythm, you soak in each other's energy. There is no better feeling than being stuffed by him. He manages to hit every spot that craves the desperate attention he fulfills. There is a moment where he looks up at you, and he feels like he has never witnessed a more beautiful sight. You’re unapologetically moaning and enjoying yourself on top of him. You’ve slowed the pace as you feel close, adding a finger to your sensitive nub and rubbing quickly, Peter is right there with you. 

“Baby, I’m right there…I’m so close, please,” he whines from beneath you.

Panting, you respond, “Me too, me too.”

Peter’s senses overwhelm him as you cum first. You’re still rubbing your finger onto your clit as the peak of pleasure overcomes you. Arching into his torso, there is nothing around you as your ears ring and you screw your eyes shut. Euphoria envelops you as you realize Peter is about to finish. You keep riding him, despite your sensitivity, wanting him to cum and cum hard. Simple praises reach his ears, “C’mon my love, cum. Cum inside me. I want it so bad, please Peter.” That was all he needed to hear as he shoots his cum inside you. Another feeling of fullness floods your senses. 

Collapsing on him gently you notice that his skin is sticky, not sure if it’s from his activities earlier in the night, or from your session just a short time before, but you don’t care. You feel his toned arms envelop you in a hug. His cock is still inside you, slowly becoming softer as you wind down. Steadily, he pulls out of you as you cringe at the sudden change. You still lay on his chest, closing your eyes as you relax. A few minutes pass by as he clears his throat before he speaks, “I know I keep saying it, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying what I said, and saying it in that tone. ” 

Your eyes snap open, not expecting him to sincerely apologize at this moment. “Thank you, but it’s not just that,” taking a deep breath in and out before continuing, “I just-I just want you to take care of yourself. I get so worried when you get hurt like that and I…I get scared.” Peter frowns at your response, feeling so guilty and slightly embarrassed for raising his voice when you were just trying to help him. He holds you even tighter if that’s possible, and gives you a prolonged kiss on the crown of your head. 

“I would tell you not to worry, but that’s a stupid response,” he quirks back, enticing a giggle from you, “I’m not too sure how to phrase it, but I think I just need you to trust me. Do you trust me?”

You finally look up to meet his eyes, “Of course, I do. Do you trust me?” 

“You already know that answer, sweetheart,” a witty response that’s filled with truth naturally flows out of him. “Please trust me on what happens out there. The last thing I want is for you to be caught in all of that. I just need you here. Safe,” There’s a hint of pain and desperation in his voice, tears almost coming to his eyes. You think there’s something deeper in his choice of wording, but you don’t want to pry. 

Bringing your hand up to hold and stroke his cheek, you reply, “Okay, okay. I will. I trust you, I trust you with my entire being.” 

That’s how you end up falling asleep, together. Both of you feel extremely grateful for each other, legs and arms entangling and intertwining themselves, drifting off to the sounds of the concrete playground. The city that was trying so hard to break your Peter is the same one that lulls you both to sleep. 

--author's note: GWEN REFRENCE HELLOOOO. guys i don't know about the ending...but here it is anyways. don't forget to like, comment, and reblog! also, my requests are OPEN. WOOOOO. ok love you bye, thanks for reading!!!!

[headingalaxys-spicy]

I've never read anyone write about a yandere with a lover who just unconditionaly loves them, so can we get just that? For the F.A.C.E fam (seperately), they were taking care of someone who they believed was getting in the way of their relationship. And then his love walked in on them, but instead of freaking out and booking it like any sane woman she just started frantically trying to hep out with the body and telling them to hurry up! Because she's not willing to lose them, even if it means becoming an accomplice of their crime.

Me: Ooooooh me like a challenge! Hope you like!

Warning: TW is kinda violent and mentions blood. So maybe not a read for everyone.

France

The Parisian air still held onto a little more warmth from the late summer sun. A few fireflies accompanied you on your way home. In your arms, you had plenty of sweets to pair with your decadent wines in the home that you and Francis shared, from Charlotte aux Framboises, Eclair geants, Pate de fruits framboise, freshly roasted hazelnuts & more. You wanted to show Francis you thought his affection toward you was sweet. 

So dinner tonight be damned! 

You wanted him to relax tonight & not have to worry about going to the shops to find the best ingredients for tonight's dish. The two of you could just be filled to the brim with sweets and be drunk off the wine and the-

You began to notice there were droplets of blood that got bigger as you approached your apartment. 

‘No. No…He’s hurt!!!’ You almost drop all of your treats in your hassle to get to your lover. You burst open the door to see Francis’ clothes coated in blood. To your relief, it seemed not to be his but that of the overly flirtatious coworker from your magazine label you’d complained about to Francis before.  

When Francis turned his head to see your figure, he was relieved momentarily to see your pleasant face. That moment was short-lived when he realized he would have to explain the gory scene before you. He was going to have to think of a palatable lie, beg, and-

“Darling! Darling!” You rush towards him and caress his face. It had a few droplets of the annoying mans blood on it mixing in with his sweat. You give him a kiss on the forehead & stare him dead in the eyes. 

“How can you be so reckless, Mon Choue?” (My sweetie) You left a trail leading right to you!” 

Very few people in this world could make Francis flustered as you had. Your reaction made him feel light as if he were in a daydream. You weren’t terrified. That means there was nothing he had to hide from you. There was a significant amount of solace that slowed down his quickly speeding heart. 

“You don’t have to explain. I can put 2 & 2 together. But my love, we do have a narrative to create and tracks to cover~” You gently rubbed your nose to his. Your fingers rubbed his stubble as you now could be at ease now that one of your biggest pests had been taken care of. 

“Yo…You’re not mad..or scared… or…” 

You seal his lips with a satisfying pop. 

“I’m not afraid, Mon Choue. I’ll help with the cleanup. I’m just somewhat concerned about….” Your eyes wandered back to the scarlet explosion that led you here. Francis's bright blues eagerly followed. 

You utilized your IT skills to hack into the security cameras that monitored your apartment complex. You erased all of the footage that had Francis dragging that nuisance that had been plaguing your life for the past couple of months. You do the same for any other potential camera that might have held evidence of the murder. 

You bleached the ground and the floors that had the red DNA discreetly. You loved your French man and would do anything to protect him. You assisted him in getting the body to the Seine River and attaching cinder blocks to the body bag so there wasn’t a likely chance it would resurface. 

America

You’d been distracted by nostalgic video games like Nintendogs, Animal Crossing & other saccharine games of the like. It had been 7-hours since Alfred last texted you. That’s the longest he’d gone without sending you cute, witty texts, gifs, memes etc. You sent him another text at around 16:34. Your eyes stared longingly at the small rectangular screen. 

“He must be super busy today, but he’ll text me soon.” You simply wanted him to be home already. You had DoorDashed pizza and burgers from his favorite local joint in case he was extra hungry. Your mind tries to refocus your attention on your video games but to no avail. Something felt off. You could feel unease rise in the pit of your stomach. 

“Maybe I didn’t fill the pantry up enough for the weekend….” You slid on your slippers & made your way downstairs. As you passed the basement door you noticed it was slightly ajar. 

“Hm? Could he be home already? I didn’t hear him come in….” You heard a few bumps & grunts from down below. Your heart dropped into your stomach. 

‘He could be hurt! Or maybe an intruder!’ You quickly grab the hidden 9mm that was hidden beneath a secret compartment from the staircase. You pushed open the door and called out into the dimly lit place. 

“Alfred! Alfred! Are you down here?” 

The hairs on the back of Alfred’s neck stand up on high. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” He cursed under his breath. Alfred tried to hide the mutilated corpse of your creepy “friend” who was in your core friend group for some reason. He was the type that relentlessly flirted with you. What made it worse is the scumbag somehow had a fiance. Alfred believed that not only was he doing your relationship a favor but the entire world. 

He just wasn’t prepared to unveil his darker yandere tendencies to you today. He hastily found a tarp to cover the body. 

“Alfred! Alfred! Are you down here, babe?” Your footsteps cautiously descend the stairs. He could hear the concern in your voice, so he knew he had to answer. He swallowed hard and finally said: 

“Yes, babe! I’m down here! Just uh….working on a project.” You picked up on the nervousness in Alfred’s voice. When your lover was finally in your sight, he jumped a little and stood in front of the table that had the body that was mostly covered by the tarp. 

A dismembered arm had made a mushy ‘thud’ to the concrete floor. There was a pregnant silence that suffocated the both of you for a few moments. As your eyes and brain processed the scene that was before you. You broke out into a boisterous cackle. 

“Oh my god Alfred! Who did you kill?” Still laughing. You knew when you started dating him he had some malevolent quirks hidden beneath his sunny & fun exterior but that’s why you adored him. 

“You know that one asshole, Jason, who was a pest & flirted with you & always tried too hard to be around you and your friends.” 

“Oh my god, yes! Finally! That creepy bastard is dead!” You rush over to him & embrace him warmly. 

“Thank you, Alfred!” You gently peck his lips. You could tell from the sparkle in his deep blue hues that he was pleasantly surprised and relieved. 

“You’re welcome Y/N.” 

“I’ll help you with the body later. Just wash up. I DoorDashed us Pizza and Burgers. And you know those don’t taste great cold.” You give him a final peck on the lips before your phone alerts you that your food has arrived. 

“See you upstairs, my love.~” 

You shoot the body a couple of times to let out some of your former frustrations. You hated this guy as much as Alfred did. So assisting him with disposing of the body brought you a sadistic type of joy. 

The two of you decide to dissolve the body in acid along with any of his personal items. No trace of him would be left in this world. It brought the two of you great joy when he appeared on unsolved mysteries years later. 

Canada

The shovel quickly moved the mushy dirt aside. The freshly falling snowfall made it difficult for Matthew to keep up the momentum. He’d been at this for a few hours now. The sunlight was beginning to fade. Matthew still had a few more feet to dig before the gave could be acceptable. He had to ensure that the body of the pesky bus driver was where his body would never see the light of day ever again. 

Matthew was a mile and a half out in the thick Acadian forest, where he shared a cabin with you. 

He kept digging so he could secure a future with you. It was imperative to him that you were never to know of the heinous acts that he carried out. He wanted nothing more than to protect you and the relationship he cherished with you. That couldn’t happen if that bus driver continued to harass you on the daily. You came home every day stressed out. It hurt his heart when you came home frustrated about his not-so-subtle comments about your appearance.  

Each night, you rambled on about how uncomfortable the interactions made you feel. Some days, you nearly broke down before him, but you quickly rushed to your room. You didn’t always feel comfortable constantly complaining to him. You hated burdening him this much since you knew he didn’t have a family that was incredibly attentive to him. 

Some of Matthews's tears touched the snow while others slid down into his comfy red flannel. It was difficult for him to reconcile his flurry of feelings he had for you. 

“Matthew! Matthew! Where are you?!” He heard your voice call out to him in the darkness. The light from your flashlight slowly approached him. 

His heart turned into a brick of ice. You couldn’t see! You couldn’t know! He halted in his activities in an attempt to avoid being caught. 

‘Oh, Y/N! Just go back home! I’m okay!’ The sound of your boots crunching on the fresh snow got closer. Matthew could see the light from your flashlight touch trees that were only a few feet away from him. 

‘No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Go back Y/N! Go back!’ The fear of you leaving him gripped him intently. He’d have to harm you, possibly even prevent you from seeing the light of day. However, freeze mode kicked in, and he put his back against the large tree behind him. His grip on the shovel's handle tightened. He closed his eyes as he heard your voice from only three feet away. Matthew silently hoped that he and the body would turn invisible. 

“Matthew! Matthew! Sweetheart, it’s getting late! What are you doing out here? Aren’t you cold? Aren’t you hungry? I have maple-flavored hot chocolate and dinner ready at home!” Hoping to entice him to come home with you. 

You knew something was off when you saw the supply closet door was wide open & drops of red had been scattered in various places all over your home. You worried about him being injured from hunting or playing hockey. Either way, you were determined to find out. The large boot prints led you directly to him since you’d made it out in time before the snow began to cover up his tracks. You crouched down to Matthews's level as he cowered beneath the tree. Tears were streaming down his face as he held the shovel close to his chest. 

“Matthew! Thank god! There you are!” You tried to remove the shovel from his hands so you could give him a proper hug.

“No! Y/N NO!” He shouted in defense. 

“Mattie, honey…..” You swept aside some of his wavy blonde hair and stroked his freezing cheeks. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“I….” He sniffed a few times before he continued. “I…” Choking on more tears. “If I …tell you… you won’t love me anymore!” Matthew began to bawl his eyes out as you took stock of the surrounding area. Your flashlight caught a glimpse of the lifeless body of that asshole bus driver. Relief took you over as you finally understood. 

So you began to laugh. 

Matthew was caught off guard by your positive reaction. His tears began to stop flowing. 

“You’re …you’re not angry?” 

“HA! HA! Hell no! You just got rid of a major nuisance to me hahaha!” Your shiny (eye color) orbs met with his reddened violet hues. You give him a reassuring peck on the forehead. 

“Come now! Let’s burn the body and spread the ashes in a lake.” 

Matthew is over the moon, knowing he doesn’t have to hide his dark side from you. You assist him in getting rid of the blood stains, trail, and all signs of struggle. You’d do anything for your teddy bear boyfriend's soon-to-be husband. 

England 

The fine China clinked satisfyingly as you set it out in its perfect places on the table. You were prepping for your late evening tea, which you and Arthur enjoyed doing together. You loved hearing about his day, what new book caught his fancy at the library or the bookstore. You were almost done prepping the various homemade jams. You looked over your shoulder to see how much more time was left before your cookies were done. It read 2:30. The mix of sweet shortbread & chocolate morsels mixing together was intoxicating. 

You were eager to see Arthur’s reaction to your perfected recipe. 

Your eyes wandered to the shed, where a light had been on for the last few hours. It shined brightly against the darkened grass. 

“Hmmm. I wonder what Arthur could be doing in there. Maybe he’s doing some more occult stuff.” You heard thunder begin to roll in from the distance. Just then, a bolt of lightning struck across the midnight blue sky. Tiny droplets of rain began to pelt the kitchen window. 

Finally, your beloved British man emerged from the shed. He looked a little more disheveled than usual. You wondered if he was actually able to summon a demon that he wasn’t capable of controlling. You heard his Oxfords climb the wooden steps that reached the backdoor. 

“Welcome back, Arthur dear~” As you said that, you heard him jump a little right as he rushed past the kitchen and into the laundry room. 

The timer had gone off. 

Your cookies were done. As you went to retrieve them, Arthur finally responded to you from the laundry room.

“Ah! Yes, hello, Y/N, love!” He is not doing a great job of hiding the nervousness in his voice. Concerned, you take off your oven mitts & follow the muddy tracks that you noticed have curious red spots within them. 

“Arthur, are you alright? Did you injure yourself, my love?” Anxiety pierced your heart, and you wondered if you needed to be prepared to rush him to the hospital. When you got to the laundry room, you saw Arthur hunched over the laundry basket. He’d already taken off his sweater that had blood tainting 65% of it, and He was just about to undo his button-up shirt, which wasn’t spared from being touched by the scarlet. 

“Y/N!” He jumped like a frightened cat that came face to face with an angry bulldog. 

“Arthur, what’s wrong, dear? Did you get hurt??!!” Worried and finally catching his bright green eyes. You scanned the rest of his clothing to see that blood you assumed had been splattered all over them. 

“No, I’m not hurt love..just….” He really didn't want to tell you the truth. His eyes hung down to the bright white tiles of the laundry room floor. 

You walked closer to him and took his pale, clammy face in your hand. You stroked his cheek gently to reassure him. You gingerly brought your hand to his chin and made your eyes connect sincerely. 

“Arthur, if it’s something serious…. You have to tell me. We’re lovers. We’re a team. That comes with unwavering trust.” The words that came from you made his heart flutter and sink at the same time like a lifevest being attached to a heavyweight. There was the fear that you would leave him and be afraid. Arthur knew he’d have to keep you quiet by reconditioning you and erasing your memories. Then came the comfort he no longer had to hide his far more morbid side. You loved him for him and all of him. 

“Arthur….” He could tell that you were becoming somewhat impatient. 

“Okay…okay..” He grabbed both of your hands to prevent you from running away & for emotional support. Arthur dragged in a deep breath before he blurted out: 

“I killed Dan! That stupid wanker who kept making passes at you! I hated how he always managed to put his phone number on the side of your coffee cup! I hate how he stalks your social media! And has the bloody fucking audacity to try and stalk you!” 

Your expression was unreadable for a moment until you let out a long sigh of repose. 

“If that’s really all, then you’ve just made my life a thousand times easier.” You peck him on his lips and tussle his wet hair. 

“I love you, Arthur, but we will have to…” You looked at the blood that was on your hand. “Make sure all the evidence is gone. I’ll draw you up a bath & mop up the floor.”

With that, you disappeared from his view, whistling a happy tune as you worked out some creative alibis in your mind.

[goodolddumbbanana]

Ship to consider, if you're okay with it: Evil! Earth/Sun. Alternatively (since I know that one's a bit out there), Eclipse/eaps Moon? Just suggestions ofc. Your writing is very nice :)

Sorry for take it so long @apalonespinifera . I kinda having a lot of mental breakdown and sleep for two days. Also, i have to rewatch Evil Earth. Platonic though. I am hecking suck at writing romance, and i actually forget to ask what kinda relationship you want to ship. sorry.

[Evil Earth x Sun] Yellow rose

Earth remembered, when she was a young robot, just starting to become sentient, Creator was very gentle.

He kindly guided her on how to walk, told her adventure stories every night, and patiently listened to her interest in dolls that she would probably ramble on for hours.

He taught her how to replace machine parts, how to hack and infiltrate AIs, how to weed and prune so that the flowers she was growing would flourish.

In the garden of white roses that look like Earth's cloud hair, a secret place Creator had created just for herself, she was happy.

Some beautiful and gentle days, when Earth's biggest worry was which princess cartoon she would watch tonight.

"What do you want to do when you grow up, Earth?" Her father asked on one sunny day, as his robotic hand ran through complex code operations over her code board.

And like a good and innocent girl, she smiled sweetly as she hummed a happy melody, touching the white rose in her hair.

“I want everyone to be happy.”

A simple, vague wish. 

She remembered Creator had smiling contentedly, his humming melody echoing down the hallway, remembered trying to catch the yellow butterfly that landed through the iron-barred window in the hallway but letting it fly away.

The sky was clear and sunny.

She wondered since when, the rain had become more familiar to her, as the rainwater silently washed away the blood that had splattered on Earth’s shoe heels and someone’s broken piece of metal shaped like a sun that flashed on her eyes.

***

Another day… Another assassination. Earth tried to keep her mood upbeat, but there were so many problems happening lately that even her positive self felt shaken. Lunar was brainwashed, again. Moon pushed himself into stress and went crazy, again. And Sun…

“Why did you do this?! Why did you do this to us!!!?” Her sunny brother’s face was filled with anger and betrayed as his body constantly struggled to escape the reforming machine.

The smile stuck on Earth’s mouth, she looked at her brother with pity.

Sun didn’t understand.

Her brother didn’t understand that this was the only way to make people happy. Sun didn’t understand that this was the way to make him happy. Sun didn’t understand that she was so tired of trauma after trauma, of her family being torn apart and hurt, of how she could never fix anything.

He didn’t understand that she was so exhausted with the dead returning, and the pieces of the people she loved fading away over time, leaving only shadows of the old ones.

“Don’t worry Sun. Everything will be fine when you wake up.” She giggled, playing with her kind brother’s sunshine, ignoring the look of horror at betrayal in her eyes. “You just need some sleep.”

Sun was fine. Her brother had been a little distracted lately, but nothing a family played night couldn’t fix.

Sitting at the daycare table, she hummed. She hadn’t been a daycare attendant for a long time, but she still liked the nostalgic feeling of going back to the old place, when things were simple and good.

When it was just her, Sun, Moon, and Lunar.

A ding sounded, the portal from the ballpit swirled up, making her frown.

Lunar had just talked to her, there was no way he would come back so soon. And Moon was probably out in space operating the spaceship, probably not back until next week. And there was no way Monty would use the portal in the ballpit…

Who could this be?

“--COMPUTER! YOU PIECE OF CRA—!!”

The scream was so familiar yet so foreign that she hadn’t heard it in a long time. The brilliant gold reflected in Earth's eyes. The sound of a plastic ball rolling, lightly hitting the corner of her feet, seemed to emphasize that this was true. The lively, cheerful music of the nursery, but still far inferior to the sound of the silver bells that person wore.

A limping figure waded out from the ballpit.

The tired, wary look that softened when she saw her, a look she had not experienced in a long time, too used to the stoic, soulless worship that her sun animatronic model displayed, made the smile on Earth's lips twitch hesitantly.

“Oh, hi Earth.”

The shy awkwardly giggled, something from her Sun that Earth had not witnessed for a long time.

Earth was not a fool, being a president did not allow her to be naive. Her Happy plan would not succeed if it was only for a dreamer. 

But she was curious, too, and she wondered if it was the same Sun who had come to her with the Moon who had impersonated her brothers last month, the one whose hands were shaking and whose eyes were distrustful but still unguarded as she approached…

Earth would not admit that she missed the unaffected, devoted trust, like a thirsty person craving a glass of water.

She missed the gentle chuckle, the subtle awkwardness her brother used to give her. The firm but trusting embrace, a willow that seemed to wither but remained steadfast, that appeared whenever she felt like she was about to collapse.

Solar might have been the one to listen to her ranting the most, but to breathe relieved, it was some magic that only Sun could provide.

But there was no more Sun in this universe. At least not the person who she remembers. 

Only the reality where Earth was alone. The feeling like she was living beside the dolls.

Just a puppeteer, but what fun was there without an audience to watch.

So Earth smiled, her voice filled with innocence and joy… playing the role of a clueless little sister.

“Hello Sun. It’s good to have you back.”

***

Earth remembered that in Earth’s old rose garden, there used to be a wild rose bush.

It wasn’t the kind that Creator had planted, with its white petals that never faded and its smooth stem without a single thorn.

No, it was an unfamiliar yellow, humming in the sunlight and lifting itself gently in Earth’s hands with its thin and sharp thorns, only the sharpest eyes could see it nestled in the deepest corner of the garden, entwined deep into the fence.

Compared to the pure white she was used to seeing, that yellow seemed alive in its extreme fragility.

Earth was a good child who never asked for anything, but she also liked the way the rose petals were soft in her hands, and had played with it so hard that it bled bright yellow blood when she pressed her fingers and crumpled it with delight before bursting into tears because she had ruined what she loved so soon.

“If you keep holding it too tight like that, you will have nothing left to play with, my daughter.”

Her father had hummed as he burned the entire pile of wild roses that she had destroyed. He still doted on her, but Earth had vaguely realized that day that she could not hold on to anything.

And as she heard the wails of those who had fallen for her destruction and those who still blindly believed she was a good person stretching out like a path of sinful footprints before Earth, she wondered if her father was a monster, what that said about her, his daughter.

***

The yellow rose nestled neatly in her hair, Earth's eyes were fascinated, amused by Sun's awkward stuttering while still pretending to be her brother.

He had been here for two months.

Earth did not understand the allure of being like a frog in a pot of water so stupid that it could not jump out when it was boiling, when she manipulated and begged Sun to stay and stay and stay.

It was like breathing fresh air, when things were different from what she had planned but still enough for her to control.

She retracted her claws and hid the things that Sun did not like, she put on her old skin of the simple days.

Cleaning up the blood, brutally silencing the rebels, the places she took Sun to were all peaceful and beautiful.

It felt like smoke and mist, as she tried to piece together the best parts of herself for Sun, and Sun responded to her with the honesty that she had destroyed.

They usually just talked, and hung out.

Stupid, silly stories, like the mermaid's sea foam, lies that fill thicker and thicker over time.

Clear as a lake, an illusion that disappears at the touch.

It's like butterfly wings and cat ears, smooth and soft, making Earth want to touch it but afraid of breaking, afraid of tearing.

"When will you stop this nonsense, Mr. President?" Her Moon asked her one day when Sun was sleeping.

"We both know this Sun is hindering your intergalactic plans. You're being too distracted."

And Earth responded by making Moon a mindless puppet for a week.

***

"This movie is terrible."

Earth complained, about something they'd both seen more than a dozen times, 'Princess Pea.'

Sun chuckled, with tea and fruit in his hands.

This Sun didn't like honey and only added sugar. He also had a habit of peeling and arranging apples into bite-sized pieces shaped like rabbits that Earth secretly liked, instead of simply cutting the apple in half.

His eyes also softened as he listened to her story, as if she was still a precious little sister, someone her Sun had once pampered.

He had not broken into a thousand pieces like her Sun. Not a shell that only knew how to run away, someone who still lived and breathed. In that darkness and sadness, there was still a glimmer of hope.

Earth wants to keep it like a drowning person who desperately wants a hand.

“I thought you could watch it forever without getting bored?” Sun teased, he was no longer so stiff like the first day, much more comfortable with her hugs.

It reminded her of a dog that, despite being hungry, still refused to eat food from anyone other than its owner.

She jumped on Sun, hugging his waist like a spoiled child. Enjoying the warmth and the sound of the fan running in Sun’s chest.

“Sun! I am not that bad at aesthetics.”

“Right, right.”

Sun smiled, he fed her a piece of apple into her mouth indulgently. Then, the laughter faded, the gloominess sank into Sun's eyes again.

The same old topic, the same old desire.

Sun wanted to go back to his cosmic dimension, his home, his Earth. But Sun was too kind to say it, and she was always quick to divert Sun's attention elsewhere.

But not this time.

What had to happen had to happen, and though Sun and her brother often lied to themselves, they were never the ones to lie to others.

The Little Mermaid dissolved into bubbles at sunrise, and Cinderella returned to her original form at 12 o'clock at night.

“Earth… I'm not actually Sun. I mean, I'm not your brother from this dimension.”

Sun's soft and worried voice was almost like scratching on a blackboard, and she wanted to cover her ears.

She wanted to blame Sun for ruining this, the whole happy thing.

But it is not Sun’s fault, and then she just smiled, nodding her head in a lost manner, as if something cold wasn't flowing through her main circuit board, stabbing deep into the AI ​​chip, flipping her code from 1 to 0.

“I know.” Earth shook her leg, her smile not reaching her eyes. She was so comfortable, she had forgotten that this person needed to return to his place.

“Since when, Earth?” Sun was startled, but he wasn't too surprised. He still touched her arm, preventing her hands from squeezing tightly together, a bad habit she had when she was nervous.

“Since when you showed up.”

Reality came back with the ideal, Earth wondered if she could lock the person in front of her and keep her to herself forever?

“And you didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t ask.”

It was just confirmation. She should have nodded and smiled, continuing to think of anything to stop Sun from leaving. But she couldn’t, she just avoided Sun’s eyes like a child caught stealing cookies.

“I need to go home, Earth.”

And I need you. She didn’t say it. She couldn’t say it. The cold that only the Sun could warm her, the truth in the world that was full of dead people.

Sun didn’t understand, and she didn’t want to say it.

Deep inside Earth, she was still a weak and innocent child who needed someone to hold her hand.

“I just want to make everyone happy.”

That child cried and cried.

“I will help you.”

Earth said, as if the poison and thorns of roses didn’t pierce her mouth. As if it was true.

And as if she isn't a father's daughter.

“Look at you, I’m so proud.” Her father’s ghost seemed to be laughing from hell.

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Backstage Story Translation - Chikage Utsuki SSR - Today's Star: Toujou - Part 2

this is a request by taruchikas, who also provided a video of the story! tysm!

Chikage: (... I should start getting ready to leave. Practice is starting soon, so tonight I should–)

Tsuzuru: i've finished the script for the spin-off Chikage Utsuki: That was fast.  (Read: 2) Itaru Chigasaki: max speed lol Tsuzuru: i could only write this fast because i had a base to work with. please read the script and let me know if you have any questions.

Itaru: Good timing. Can we go home now?

Chikage: We can, but what's with you?

Itaru: I wanna do a read-through.

Chikage: You sure are motivated. You're not even the main character.

Itaru: The main character's been coming home late lately, so I gotta do whatever I can whenever I can.

Chikage: … Sorry for the inconvenience.

-

[Door opening]

Itaru: I've retrieved the script.

Chikage: Thanks.

Itaru: … This feels like déjà vu, or maybe I’m just being nostalgic…

Chikage:  Because we read in our room together a lot back then too?

Itaru: Yeah, the student group was practicing their instruments in the rehearsal room, so we had to practice in our room.

Chikage: Never would’ve thought what we talked about back then would become an actual play.

Itaru: Right.

-

Itaru: … As expected, it may be short, but there seems to be a scene where Machida is performing. 

Itaru: Guess I’ll have to practice so that at least my movements look as realistic as possible…

Itaru: You can already play, Senpai. You cheater.

Itaru: You could just play for real like Citron did instead of finger-synching.

Chikage: I’m not that good. I’ve barely even touched the violin since that time I played a bit during the Quartet play.

Chikage: So, since we’re done with the readings, we’ll continue at practice.

Itaru: Are you going somewhere?

Chikage: I’ll go clean up the work I left unfinished.

Itaru: Corporate slave cheater.

Chikage: That’d make you a chronically online corporate slave.

Itaru: We both sound like losers like this.

Chikage: I’m leaving. Don’t stay up too late.

[Door closing]

Itaru: …

-

[Violin performance ends]

Chikage: (I’ve got the feeling in my fingers down.)

Chikage: (And yet, the movements aren’t refined enough to be those of a genius violinist and Ennis’s instructor—)

[Alarm beeping]

Chikage: If I don’t leave soon, I’ll be late for practice.

Chikage: (... Guess I’ll continue after I get back.)

-

Citron: Oh, you’re nailing the movements, Chikage! The sound is also beautiful, and it perfectly matches Toujou’s image.

Chikage: Thanks for saying that.

Itaru: Status ailments: Peeling fingers, cramped arms, shoulders aching.

Citron: Itaru is no-no good~ You need to play the violin more to get used to it.

Itaru: … Even if you say so, we don’t have that much time till the performance.

Citron: Then, starting tomorrow, we’ll be having pasta lessons.

Itaru: Pasta sounds delicious. I think I’ll go for Genovese~ Senpai, you’re an Arrabbiata kinda guy, yeah?

Chikage: We’ll be having Spartan lessons. Don’t run away from reality.

Itaru: I’m craving pasta for real now… I think I’ll ask Omi to make me some as a midnight snack.

Citron: Looks like you’re not coming back to reality. But I would also like to end the story with Omi’s late night pasta. (1)

Itaru: This has suddenly become an epic pasta tale… Seriously now, I think you mean end the day.

Citron: That’s it. I would like to eat Peperoncino~

Itaru: With lotsa garlic, please.

Itaru: Senpai, let’s meet tomorrow and—

Citron: … Oh, Chikage is gone. When did he leave?

Itaru: …

-

Chikage: …

Itaru: Oh my, are you running away from home?

Chikage: — —

-

Itaru: Juuust kidding.

-

Chikage: *sigh*... You…

Itaru: I’ll come over there, please wait.

Chikage: …. 10, 9, 8…

Itaru: Are you fr?

-

Chikage: Aren’t we done with practice?  Also, just to be clear, I’m not running away from home.

Itaru: I know that. … You’re practicing in secret, aren’t you?

Chikage: …

Itaru: Ever since the Toujou spin-off was decided, you’ve been spending more and more time away from the dorm.

Itaru: Also, even though you said you’re not that good with the violin, there’s no hesitation in how you handle it, so I thought you might be sneaking some extra practice in.

Chikage: … Congrats on your busybody skills.

Itaru: Senpai, you may pass as a cheater cause it seems like you can do anything, but you’re actually the type to work hard in secret.

Itaru: That’s still cheating though, so I guess you can call it an effort based cheat.

Chikage: What on earth is that.

Chikage: … *sigh*

Chikage: It wasn’t really my intention to hide it, and I don’t think of it as putting in the work.

Chikage: … But now that you mention it, I might always have been bad at showing this side of myself to others.

Itaru: Isn’t that just how it is once you’ve become an adult? Like, you don’t want people to see you trying too hard.

Chikage: I’m pretty much exposing myself all the time here, though.

Itaru: That’s true.

Itaru: Well, since you’ve been found out, you should just accept how things have gone down and let me join your secret training party.

Chikage: So that’s why you’ve got your violin case with you. I think you’d be better off having Citron teaching you than me, though.

Itaru: I don’t expect you to go easy on me. I just think you’ll be better than the Prince’s Spartan ways.

Chikage: … I sure hope you won’t regret saying that.

Itaru: Uh-oh, a flag.

Chikage: Well, I suppose it’ll also help with our role-building for Toujou and Machida… I’ll add you to my party.

Chikage: I wonder if there’s a studio we can rent at this hour?

Itaru: Karaoke places where instruments are allowed should be OK. Isn’t that more student-like, too?

Chikage: Are we also going to wear uniforms?

Itaru: I think that’s a bit too much. Well, I can think of other ways to add some of that youthful spark.

-

Izumi: (It’s almost time for the performance, but Chikage-san and Itaru-san haven’t come out yet…)

Izumi: Ah, Chikage-san. Is Itaru-san still in the dressing room?

Chikage: Yeah, he said he wants to scribble on the scores.

Izumi: Scribble?

Chikage: Apparently he watched an anime last night that had a scene where someone wrote messages on a musical score.

Izumi: Haha, sounds like he’s enjoying playing a student role, in his own way.

Chikage: I’ll get on standby.

Izumi: Okay, go ahead!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

NOTES:

(1) citron mixes up 大賛成 (dai sansei, strongly agree) with 大団円 (daidanen, ending/(grand) finale)

[hollythius]

A DREAM OF FREEDOM

some love for my two favorite anemo boys :) also, should i start prepping an event for 150 followers? we’re almost there!

tldr; xiao x reader, the wanderer x reader, kinda angsty with a hint of comfort.

xiao is seldom the cuddly type. his affections come in stuttered words and extravagant gifts, not warm hands and soft lips. but tonight, he feels nostalgic. he misses his friends— the ones he’s lost, and the ones he knows he’ll see again. you notice the sorrowful gleam in his eye as you settle into bed. “xiao, hun, what’s the matter?” your words catch him off guard, and he falls into your arms and buries his head in your chest. xiao begins to cry, his strong arms tightening around you. “shh, it’s okay,” you whisper. you kiss his head as he comes up for air. “let it all out.” your hands tangle his hair as you pull him even closer. xiao sighs shakily. “thank you, y/n.”

scaramuche is fond of teasing, but tonight you fear he doesn’t have it in him. it’s well after dinner, and the both of you are beginning to settle down for bed. he sits on the edge of your shared mattress, and you wonder why he’s acting so timid all of a sudden. “kuni?” you say, his name falling softly from your lips like the pattering rain outside. “are you thinking about her again?” he nods, pushing his palms into his eyes. you snake your arms around him from behind and press your lips to the nape of his neck. “i love you, remember that.”

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Translation: Chikage Utsuki SSR Card “Wizard of Death” [ The Western, Northern Wizards and the Ruler of Darkness ]

Citron and Itaru are up to something again and they pull in Chikage to join in their antics.

Part 1

Izumi Chikage-san, should I prepare dinner for you tonight? Chikage Sure, I’m headed out after this but I’ll be back by evening. I’ll be here for dinner. Itaru Then, that means you’ll be back pretty early today, huh… Citron It looks like everyone is here! Izumi Huh? Citron-kun, isn’t that the script for “The Wonderful Charlatan of Oz”? Citron That it is! Itaru “The Wonderful Charlatan of Oz” well, isn’t that just nostalgic. Chikage It hasn’t been that long since I last starred in a play. Izumi But, why do you have the script on you? Citron I have felt like reading up on our past scripts just now. Then I recalled how fun it was to play the role of the Wizard of the North in the play. So, I was itching to play the role again and convincing people to join me! Chikage That explains it. Itaru Can’t deny that it was pretty fun being a wizard. Citron Reading the script now, I think about how I could have moved differently during this line. Chikage I get it, I did what I could back then, but now that I got more experience, I’m sure I can execute it better. Izumi I also have stuff I wish I’ve done better, like the staging. Itaru Now that we’re talking about it, I kinda wanna play the Wizard of the West… Citron Oh! I have finally dragged someone to act with! Itaru, do an etude with me! Itaru No problemo. Citron Chikage as well!? Chikage Sorry to disappoint, I was just on my way out. Citron Oh, how unfortunate! Then, it will be Itaru and I against the world! Let us make haste! Chikage I’ll take that as my cue to leave too. Izumi Take care, everyone!

Itaru …Phew, that’s enough etudes outta me. Citron, let’s take a break. Citron Gotcha, a break it is! Itaru Still though, it’s fun playing the villain-like Wizard of the West. Citron I as well, I like the kind and worrywart Wizard of the North that believed in Oz. It is fun to play them! Kazunari Otsupiko! Itaroon, you got a sec~? Ronron, you’re here too! Itaru What’s up? Kazunari You good with helping me out with some art paper for uni? Citron Fart vapor! Kazunari So close! It is a paper☆ Itaru Art paper… That’s perfect, actually. Kazunari Perfect how? Citron You just gave us an idea! Itaru Exactly.

Part 2

Itaru Director-san, do we have any red pens or paint? Izumi Red coloring materials…? Probably in the storage room. But, doesn’t Kazunari-kun have any paints? Itaru Oh right, I’ll go ask him about it. By the way, can you give me the go to use some pens from the storage room? Izumi All good. Citron Also, please let us use the light and smoke machine as well. Izumi Huh, smoke machine? Sure, but what for? Citron It is a secret! Itaru If Citron says so, then it’s a secret. Citron Itaru, let us go to the storage room right away! Itaru Omw. Izumi (What in the world are those two up to?)

Chikage … (I’m already in front of our room, but I have a feeling that something bad is gonna happen if I open it.) (Now, what to do…) (For now, I’ll have dinner first. Director-san must be preparing it right now.) Citron Chikage, what is up? Chikage Nah, nothing much really. Citron Just now, you have tried to run away! Chikage No way, I would never. Citron My eyes do not deceive me! *Citron grabs Chikage, to his surprise* Citron Chikage, you have nowhere to run! I got you now! Chikage Wait… *Chikage gets dragged by Citron*

Chikage This is… (A magic circle and smoke machine…? …My hunch was pretty much right on the nose.) Itaru “‘O infamous one who eats away at nations, answer my call of resurrection and come forth before me.” Citron “Halt, Wizard of the West!” Itaru “I summon you… Grosser Zatan!” Citron Stand over here, Chikage. Chikage You mean on this magic circle…? Itaru “The summoning is a success! Now the land will bow before me.” Chikage (I feel Chigasaki’s line of sight on me…) (I see… I’ve been summoned by the Wizard of the West as the one to take over the nation.) (Looks like I’ll have to go along with this…)

Part 3

Citron “Aah… It is too late… The Wizard of the West has manifested upon us a being of undeniable evil.” Itaru “Grosser Zatan, from here on out, you will assist me in ruling this land for the taking.” Chikage No can do. Citron “Wizard of the West, and Grosser Zatan, you shall not torment this land and its people any longer!” Chikage (The illusion of free will. I got no choice.) (Guess I’ll just go with these two’s etude and get it over with.) Sigh… “That is correct. I am who they call Grosser Zatan. Who dares summon me?” Itaru “It is I, yes. Lend me your strength, and we shall be the rulers of this nation.” Citron “Not as long as I am around! Grosser Zatan, return to the magic circle!” Chikage “I decide what I am to do with my power. I will not let mere wizards dictate my actions.” “Wizard of the West, for my power, what do you offer me in return?” Itaru “Fuu… It appears that you won’t help out for free.” “How interesting, that’s the Great Lord of Darkness Grosser Zatan for you.” “Very well. In exchange for your power, I offer up my soul!” Citron “You’ll not only destroy the country, but yourself if you continue on with this!” Itaru “Would love nothing more.” Citron “Wizard of the West!” Chikage “Your soul, huh… not bad at all. I might consider this deal…” Itaru Ah… Chikage …? Citron Director!? Chikage Ahh, in the flesh. How long have you been here, Director-san? Izumi Umm, I’m sorry for interrupting! I thought you heard me knock. Itaru I didn’t notice at all… Chikage Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you came actually. Izumi Eh, how come? Chikage If Director-san hadn’t come, I probably would have stayed as a summoned entity for a while.

[ Option 1: Summoned…? ]

Izumi Summoned…? Chikage Yup, I’m talking about this over here. Director-san really is a savior, if it weren’t for you I would have destroyed the nation. Izumi I… I see…?

[ Option 2: I would have wanted to see more ]

Izumi I would’ve wanted to see more. Chikage In the middle of this full-blown etude? Izumi I’m kind of edged to see whether Grosser Zatan will destroy the land or not. Chikage … Director-san, since what point were you watching from? Izumi Hehe, it’s a secret. Chikage A secret… Sigh.

Izumi The etude looked like a lotta fun though! Citron It was a lot of fun! Izumi So this is what the red pens and smoke machine were for. Itaru Sets the mood, doesn’t it? Izumi The atmosphere is perfect! I was shocked when I opened the door. I thought I just opened a portal a magical world… Chikage You’re not that far off. Izumi You know, Chikage-san pulls off such villainous roles so well. I should try talking Tsuzuru-kun into getting you in a role like that next time. Itaru He doesn’t even need to act. Chikage In exchange for giving you power, shall I wipe your face off this land? Itaru I’ll pass. Citron Join in on us, Director! Itaru Come on, let’s do it Director-san. Izumi Huh, me too!? Chikage Wait a second, you came here for something, right, Director-san? Izumi Ah, that’s right! I finished preparing Chikage-san’s meal and I wondered what was up since you weren’t in sight. That’s why I came to check up on you. Chikage Oh yeah, I asked you to warm it up. I’ll go and have dinner then. Izumi But aren’t you in the middle of an etude? Chikage The food will get cold so that’s it for the etude for now. I can just have another etude with Chigasaki and Citron any other time, so it’ll be fine. Itaru Eh, weren’t we just getting started though? Citron Are we already finished with the etude!? It is too soon~!

Story Clear!

[kissyouallaway]

six songs I've been liking... thank u to @9cl for recommending this to me

My friend sent me this song cause bleachblonde sampled it and like oh my god it's so fucking good I can't even begin to start talking about it just that riff with the room mic vocals AND THAT FUCKING CHORUS LIKE OH MY GOD NEVER A WASTE OF MY TIIIIIIME it's such a sad song and it really reminds me a lot of my past like when I was a Rochester indie emo kid at age 15 recording folk music in my bedroom but idk it's different it doesn't make me feel bad in the same way like listening to the stuff from back then makes me feel (like I'm going to slip back to that time period and fall into depression again.) good song tho

couture23/Remy cechovic/instagram_filter is one of my favorite artists with more good songs than I can remember but this one in particular sticks out to me, teks part is good but god Remy's verse with the delivery being so quiet and almost shy over such an emotive and dense beat with the lyrics "going from swingsets and basketball courts to being sat in a room, being told all the rules" it's so nostalgic and sad and just heartwrenching it just makes me want to cry

Lucy is another one of my favorite artists, his style is so unique and his like vocal style is so versatile it's crazy... his imagery and the words he chooses to use in his lyrics feel almost old timey in a way...idk really how to put it other than that but it makes me think of my old orthodontists office that I used to go to when I was 8 that was completely decked out in sea themed everything, just something about it... also I love the video with him throwing the minion plush around while singing :)

herstory is someone who I actually know on here as well as a super insanely talented producer and singer... I love all of his songs and stuff with the band los3r but this one in particular is super fukn good, the vocals feeling like a cry out over the guitar and just exploding into that last section I mean like come on it's fucking incredible

cg is another rly cool person I know from social media as well as a good rapper... the beat in this song feels really loose and like it's barely holding itself together it's really cool, the pluck sound I really love too lol... I also love the line "I feel like stewie griffin with the cool whip"

I don't even know where to begin with this song... the whole composition is so fucking insane and beautiful, the first part with the mp3 compression and click sound feels like what the first day of snow in winter always feels like 2 me idk how to put it... and the lyrics "don't take me home tonight, I'm not feeling right, stumbling towards the light" paint a very specific picture in my head that I've actually tried to draw before.. in late winter to early spring I went through an almost total mental collapse where I was constantly afraid and super fucking angry and suicidal and was having awful mood swings where I wasnt able to cope with living for much longer cause it brought me so much pain emotionally, and this whole song feels like what that kind of fear felt like...kinda paranoia but not really there's kinda anger in it but also feeling like you're alone and super vulnerable and it's just oh my god the part at 1:38 fucking chills down my spine every time I think it's my favorite song right now it's brutal and soul crushing and just too much to put into words...

I would like 2 nominate @findingtheanecdote to do one next

[maple-rose]

I went to see Gundam SEED Freedom tonight.

I don't ever talk about it here, but before I fell into the Fire Emblem hole, Gundam SEED was my obsession throughout highschool and university (if you ever find my deviantART or livejournal account, uh.... the proof is all there, embarrassingly...).

Anyway I've been waiting for this movie for like 15 years. It's kinda surreal that it even exists, amidst rumors of it being cancelled and all.

I wore my Murrue cosplay jacket I made 15 years ago (it still kinda fits, lol), brought a Haro plush and a Lacus plush.

The movie itself, it was fun! Lots of fanservice (both in terms of people and mechs). The pacing felt too fast in the 1st half, and most of the new characters aren't very well developed but that's kinda expected given the run time. Other than that, as a long time fan, it was a good movie!

Also it looks really nice! SEED/Destiny always had inconsistency in art and animation so it's good to see more good animation.

Some specific thoughts under the cut (spoiler warning):

Mu x Murrue scenes! screams Have I mentioned they were my OTP throughout highschool and university? Mu cut his hair and it looks way better! The new ORB uniforms look good, though kinda wish to see Mu in casual outfits more

RIP Archangel T__T You went through and survived so much…

Mu said his line lol (actually 2 of them, Shinn called him an Ossan and he said he's not an Ossan (callback to same exchange with Dearka))

Kira's pinboard has some nostalgic photos on it! Including the shot of the Archangel crew from the 3rd Destiny ending <3

Lacus got so many new outfits! I'm not sure if I like her role in this but she is more interesting than in Destiny

I got new respect for Athrun now. I was hoping someone would slap Kira out of his slump and he delivered!

I actually like Shinn more now too, when he's not being an angsty teen and instead a simpleton kid/the comic relief

Kira.. I think this Kira is an improvement from Destiny at least; he was really boring in Destiny… so it's good to see some emotion and see him crack. But also be more honest with his feelings

New girl Agnes is Flay 2.0? but if Flay could actually pilot a mech?

I was expecting more new mechs (to sell kits), so I'm really surprised they brought back so many existing ones (even the Buster and Duel… but not Aegis)

Though when Freedom deployed and they played Meteor, it was very nostalgic! (Meteor is basically Freedom's theme song, it first played when Freedom was first shown SEED)

New songs by TMR, Nami Tamaki, and See-Saw (who broke up pretty much after Destiny ended, came back for another song)! Also some nostalgic BGM came back

The new antagonists aren't really redeemable or sympathetic, which is a shame 'cause that's one of the things I liked about SEED; but with the runtime I get it, they're supposed to be the "bad guys" so the main crew can come together

It's kinda funny how that guy keeps calling Kira a failure, 'cause Kira is literally the Ultimate Coordinator

Lacus's pilot suit is really funny. This is actually the first time she's been sexualized like that; usually she's the pure one

The final scene is.. what I expected from a SEED climax, but a lot more hammy lol. Power of love!

They did end up confirming AsuCaga, but funny thing is Athrun and Cagalli never actually talked to each other or were in the same room even.. Meyrin is the one with Athrun (not sure if I like her new hair...)

Who is that kid with Cagalli?? He called her "Nee-san". He looks like Mu... it can't be Mu's kid, he looks too old for that. Another clone of Mu's dad? Some new guy who happens to look alike?

I saw a lot more cameos than I thought I would. The whole Archangel crew, Miriallia and Sai, Erika (ORB's head of tech, the one who gave them all Gundams), Arthur (Minerva's 2nd in command guy), Andrew Waltfeld (why didn't he have a bigger role?! He was just shown in 1 passing shot). Even some dead people were shown in flashbacks. Actually I think the flashback at the end showed all the major characters who died.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e13 love hurts (w. eric charmelo, nicole snyder)

STACY Ew, I can taste her mom lipstick…you’re telling her tonight, right?

rude, stacy :P

SAM Is that a hickey? DEAN And? It was Valentine’s Day. I can’t help it if I’m a hopeless romantic. SAM You got half of that right. DEAN Just doing my civic duty. Helping all the single ladies. You know the best thing about February 14th. You don’t have to be Mr. Right, just Mr. Right Now. SAM That’s classy. DEAN Yeah and what’d you do, judgy? Curl up in your Snuggie, watch '50 Shades' on cable?

cuz every girl crazy bout sharp dressed man men

*squints* what is that fake domain, danharper.search for the knockoff facebook page. and we got an untitled folder, not quite untitled 1 and 2 but i'll take it :p

always with the full kitchenette and vintage appliances. and bringing back the ridiculous little separators. tires!

DEAN I need a beer, regroup, maybe get lucky. SAM Didn’t you just get lucky? DEAN That was in Kansas. What do you say? You with me? Ready to go scrape a few hearts off the bar room floor? SAM I think I’ll pass. I’m gonna go hit the lore, but you go be you. DEAN Suit yourself.

dean's feelin his oats again apparently! feels like he had some seasons there where far as we knew he wasn't ever getting laid

laughing at the wife shoving these witchy items down the garbage disposal. one way to get rid of things i guess? not so good for the plumbing though

hey they named a motel after me personally

DEAN Hey. Any luck? SAM No. You? DEAN Nah. Hey what’s a…uh…dad bod?

please. (reminder that all bodies are good bodies)

MELISSA All I had to do was chant it and seal it with a kiss.

oh i see. it was plot-relevant mom lipstick.

SAM So the curse is transmittable? DEAN Like a magic STD. Okay that works. Kinda makes you nostalgic for good old fashioned herpes.

this is very fic-ish. LOL and of course dean kisses the lady to take the curse on. clearly he should hot potato it over to sam at some point but we know that's not gonna happen :p

baby lookin pretty in all those pink highlights

DEAN I’d say that went pretty well. What do you think? SAM Wait. Are you serious? You think it’s a great idea to give yourself a fatal curse? DEAN Well, target's off her back ain’t it? SAM I’m just saying. You don’t have to do this. Be the guinea pig. DEAN What? SAM Be the martyr. Try to carry the weight by yourself. Do this. DEAN I’m gonna be fine, okay? And as long as I’m good, she’s good and that’s the important thing. Besides. It proved our theory didn’t it? That this whole kiss of death thing is transmittable. I mean, I’m not asking for the Nobel here, but thank you.

both reasonable to do and also his martyr tendencies are well documented :p but even if he died, wouldn't it just go back to her? moo point, as they say?

SAM I guess. Here we go. Someone chants a curse, lays a wet one on you, then the victim is seduced and killed by the Qareen, but instead of taking the form of Barbara Eden, the present themselves as your deepest, darkest desire.

oh great. so we're gonna see amara then. very convenient of this witch to leave post-it notes with all the details on their monster including how to kill it

okay, that was adorable. so happy to win for once, didn't even care to claim the prize

AMARA You’re a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it’s cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in.

i mean it's just funny because we did kind of do this already in 4x14 sex and violence with the siren.

from s4e14 SAM Yeah. You see, sirens can read minds. They see what you want most and then they can kinda, like, cloak themselves. You know, like an illusion. -- MUNROE Dean's all mine. SAM You poisoned him. MUNROE No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you, Sam, that kind of devotion? I mean, watching someone kill for you? It's the best feeling in the world. SAM Is that why you're slutting all over town? MUNROE Ahh. I get bored, like we all do. And I wanna fall in love again. And again...and again.

have to do some mental gymnastics to not understand that as wincest, i think. still hard to wrap my head around that making it to the screen. anyway. dean wants to bang amara, let's get to it

DEAN It was Amara. SAM That surprise you? DEAN That doesn’t surprise you? SAM Honestly? DEAN Honestly? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire? SAM She isn’t? DEAN No! She can’t be! SAM Why not? DEAN Why? Because if she is that means that I’m… SAM Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? DEAN For starters, yeah.

SAM Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She’s the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I’m not. DEAN You know that I want her ass dead. SAM Yes. Of course. And I know you’ve also probably beaten yourself up a hundred times over it, but where has that gotten us? Just how bad is it? DEAN Standing here right now, every bone in my body wants to run her through. Send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I’m near her, I don’t know. Something happens and I can’t explain it, but to call it desire or love…it’s not that. I’m screwed man. We wanna kill the darkness. We need to kill the darkness. And I don’t think I can. I’m sorry to do that to you, ya know, but when it comes right down to it… SAM I got it Dean.

i honestly can't remember the last time they had that open of a conversation. dare i say, that's practically out of character understanding from sam, when it comes to dean hiding something important like that. i fully expected the show to have him flip his lid over dean not telling him something relevant to their big monster hunt, not trusting him with being able to handle the truth. maybe i'm just jaded by how they've done overblown brother conflict for so many seasons. but anyway, i'm thankful for sam being so reasonable and understanding. i'm thankful for dean just telling him straight up what's going on and that he can recognize he can't just power through this problem. usually they only talk this way with other people, it's nice to have it directed at each other for once. still a little bit in shock, honestly.

i like how they focused on the money he left to cover the damages again after showing him slip it under initially. like hello fans yes they do try to cover the fact that they're constantly wrecking motel rooms. feel like these later seasons have a lot of little nods like that (like say, the rock paper scissors, a bitch/jerk moment in 11x04, etc)

[predoom]

ohoneohone

Saturday, September 24th, 2005 2:14 pm but i am too weak to be your cure night started out strong. got kinda wack. want to go on a date to the corpse bride? (157 Comments |Comment on this) Tuesday, September 20th, 2005 12:56 pm ruckus juice dear demar,

i am sorry.

sugar in chicago. Monday, September 19th, 2005 12:19 pm mike murphy all up in demar hamiltons ass went to the alk3/my chemical bromance with demar and nick on the dick. pretty hilarious. the bands let the good times roll. went by pizza metro and made awesome jokes. and ate like 60 bucks worth of super flat pizza. startling revelations about demars life. i like hanging with old friends. down the street from the girl to trevia. kinda chill. matt skiba talked to me about clandestine. pretty amazing. we are wearing all black coming up hats. greg let me dj for a minute and i played some faint and refused. P-Unit. people at my house when i went home. freaked me out. sleeeepover prince. search the net and you can find some amazing pictures. Saturday, September 17th, 2005 4:52 pm reNICKulous woah. got my g.i. joe aircraft carrier in the mail yesterday. its seven feet long. thats like me and patrick stacked on top of eachother. ate a box of life cereal yesterday. kinda gross. somehow with all the chaos of everything i got normal again. its weird to me that 50cents mom is a lesbian. i dunno why. it totally fits and totally doesn't. just like everything else. i saw the motorola commercial we were asked to be in with madonna. yeah thats right- "sell out boy" turned one down cause it wasn't the right situation. haha. we would have had to cancel shows and all- just wasn't right. i just wanted to meet the material girl. we don't do everything were asked to. waited out going over to watch demar pass out and get kissed. instead went to the city. carnival life. we bought ice cream shoes online from hongkong. get jealous. counted freckles. yawn. patrick came over today. we worked on some secret stuff. him and his gee eff are way too lame and cute. i cant wait to see corpse bride. awesomeness. just waiting for tonight to happen.

oops comments wahahaha. Thursday, September 15th, 2005 11:27 pm this week he's mopping floors, next week he's on fries early bird gets the worm. took a headache for my tylenol. went to the cover shoot for spin magazine. it was ridiculous as always. i put myself into the worst clothes i could find cause thats just funny to me on the inside. nickplan and drunkmar showed up cause they keep it the realest. got weird emails all day. pretty standard. someday we'll be nostalgic for right now. but until then you can put it in a pinebox. its funny the mistakes you realize you are making as you go about things. cause those are the worst. it only makes sense when you are that close. otherwise its blurry and filled with lies. and you can say whatever you want but in the dark i know what you look like and think- and no one else does. nothing that needs to be spoken of. im the kind of kid that will go to the goddamned end. file me under: fucking speechless. right to her house. wow, it's been a month. we don't talk. it goes without saying. freckles. kinda dreamy. and i ain't too hard on the eyes. only those arms make it okay. i just don't care anymore. this is the three year boy. this is the lover boy. this is the keeper. the is the one that got away. i drop records, not names. so i'm not letting you in. buzznet updated. please leave my friends or whatever alone, because i have- and im sick of hearing about it. raise your hand if you're excited for fall tour. time to become the person i was supposed to be.

Current Music: you make me wanna lala 12:59 am "growing uuuuuuuuup, i guess i am my own better half" what were they thinking? i'm tired. ate for the first time in what feels like forever today. you know gotta keep that charm. what does that even mean? actually have to get up at 9am for a photo shoot tommorrow. the wackest. i guess it could be worse. i could have to sell stuff or work in a factory instead of just getting laughed at by some dumb photographer cause we don't know how to pose right. flashflashflash. goddamn the new panic at the disco record makes me feel okay in any situation. only two people in the entire world know how it goes. its kind of funny that i get to be one of them. but its strange the way only one person makes you feel electric. like you were meant to be three inches away from them always. but then its gone. or they are. went to green street hooligans. ate your popcorn and drank your soda. cause im kinda a baby. movie dates are funny cause you either watch the movie or you talk the whole time. both are kind of a let down. fall is definitely hug season. bring it on. who knows how it turns out. don't believe the hype. i didn't overdose. this really is me typing.

Tuesday, September 13th, 2005 10:39 pm difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week. oh no oh no. i don't get it but then i don't think i am supposed to. today woke up and bought my friend shoes cause she's rad and i like buying stuff for my friends. i am sick, but it's gonna be okay. i love going to bars with my friends and ordering 5 dollar sprites. yeah i'm that guy. right now i wish this was a lyric i wrote: "i dunno why other rappers try and dis you. cause even my superficial raps are super official". i'm supposed to be waiting by the phone but i'm always at front desk in the hotel lobby. i told my friend that i want to get super big bling jesus necklace- they said it doesn't make sense because im not super into jesus- but i told them that was the whole point. i sing the blues just for the covers of magazines. oh yeah. the rest of my day. ive been going out into the real world alot lately. the sun hurts my eyes but you're making me grin. went to joes house in boy's town- its like one inch big and filled with 80 million things. ebay says that my g.i. joe aircraft carrier is in the mail. but who knows cause i tell people shit is in the mail all the time. its like waking up from a dream and not being sure. for sure. our new video is pretty sweet. hung with the bestest. it feels nice outside. time to go play. i think i am going to be vegetarian again, then probably vegan. cause it just feels right. like you. all i do is watch thundercats and crush hard. what a life.

Current Music: christina milian 2:22 am go right on reds, get left at altars i want to write a "hey momma" song for the emo world. it smells like coffee and rain everywhere today for me.

i have lost all respect for you. before you make accusations, check the scoreboard sweetheart.

just when you are about to give up sometimes a light comes on. like its the only one out there. and when you are unhappy they are a shoulder. and they make you laugh when you get thrown out the window like trash from a car. old friends bend. you got me smiling like it was a dream. and i am slowly letting everything else go.

let go let go.

ive got a crush.

[exielimon]

Guess who said was not a writer and proceeded to write another thing?? that’s right, me. So, this is-

Forest song

————————————

The night was chill and the air felt cozy, I was with the chain sitting around the fire and telling curious facts about ourselves.

“Seriously? call Epona, with grass??” The vet deadpanned to the sentence Twilight had said.

“If we were in my Hyrule I could show ya!” Twilight defends while Epona, behind him, flicks her ears at the mention of her name.

“Does it have to do with that instrument you hang around your neck?” Wind asks curiously, slightly looking up from the second bowl of soup he has taken tonight.

“Yeah, kinda”

“You can actually call her by many methods, I, for example, could play the same song with an ocarina” Time proudly states.

“Still, grass is not exactly what is expected to be included in the ‘many methods’ of calling a horse” I defend Twilight’s curious fact about himself.

“I can get the notes on a recorder. Play the song and I’ll repeat it” The traveller says suddenly taking out a wooden recorder flute from his way-larger-inside-than-it-looks-outside pocket.

“Oh- no, I can’t do that, that’ll alert m’ girl, and she’s so relaxed right now, I don’ wanna wake ‘er up” Twilight says glancing over his shoulder to Epona, peacefully resting against a tree.

“Awh, kinda wanted to learn the song” The traveller pouts, lowering the recorder and putting it aside to take another sip of his soup.

I look at the wooden object and something passes through my mind; a memory of myself playing Zelda’s Lullaby with a beige recorder flute a few weeks before getting tossed in this adventure with these nine heroes. What were the notes again? Fa, La, Mi… Fa, La, Mi… oh yeah, I remember the melody, I remember song of storms and song of healing too… damn I miss my flute… wait… “Hey, ‘Rules, do you mind if I try your flute??”

“hm? You know how to play it?” He passes it over to me and the rest of the group’s eyes land on me, which I don’t realize, for I’m too focused in my excitement, it’s been a while since I played my instruments…

I take the instrument up near my lips and stop to think what I was about to play, I know quite a bunch of songs, what can be good for this occasion?

.

..

…

The air whispers and makes the leaves dance above my head, there is a faint mist that swirls and hums a melody that is not comprehensible yet not less calming… reminds me of…

Lost woods.

So that’s What I start playing. Saria’s song; the melody that can be heard in the misty forest Time grew up in, the song that the skull kid played when Twilight arrived to get the Master Sword during his journey.

My fingers move, making different melodic sounds with ease as I close my eyes and feel like I’m back home, annoying my mother with the same song time and time again. Once I finish the song I open my eyes and chuckle at the memory.

“How do you know that song?”

I flinch at the sudden Time’s firm, deep voice, that one that people use when they’re confused and will end up in a negative reaction.

I let out a quite nervous chuckle and begin “Uh- well… history says an old hero used to play that song when he missed a certain person… it’s said that one can still go to Lost Woods and will hear the soft notes of an ocarina playing that song, along with a childish laughter, in certain place… I don’t know which, though…” That was the longest lie I’ve ever made up.

Damn I wish I could tell them the truth, but the idea of them starting to question their existence for being just game characters for me… yeah, I wouldn’t like that reaction.

Time smiles softly and lets out a calming huff through his nose —Dad Time was tense, glad he relaxed— “A good friend wrote it… along my fist journey, I could play it and I would feel like i could hear her voice…”

“Oh… that why is called ‘Saria’s song’?” time to play dumb.

“…Yes.” His face is not one hurt, nor of loss… but nostalgic. Ouch, sorry.

“Wait- a skull kid played it whenever I entered the sacred grove that guarded the master sword,” Twilight started “that lil’ brat attacked me with marionettes”

“Wait wait wait- a skull kid played it?? THAT skull kid is still alive in your era?!” Time exclaimed… the others are missing the way a faint smile is twitching on his lips…

“YOU KNOW HIM?!”

[solmints-messyocdiary]

Tw: Animal death, suicide mention, blood, gore, torture mention, violent ideas

[Mismatched excerpts ripped off from Finley's Journal. The dates have been scribbled away with a black pen.]

It feels weird writing on a journal. Like something a teenager might do instead of a grown ass man who works from 9 to 5.

But I needed to destress and let it out on some pages after talking with my mother on the phone. I hate hearing her shrill voice on the other side of the receiver. The only thing she can do is complain and complain and complain about the same thing over and over again. I don't want to see that man either... I hate him more than her.

I can't handle her and to think I have to go and visit them on Thanksgiving and Christmas I feel like I am going to lose my damn head.

At least I can let things out and still practice my writing if needed, so that's a plus. I haven't had much time to update my book, and that's making me a bit sad. Hopefully, I'll be able to write a bit.

Might treat myself and go the diner to get some choco pancakes and a milkshake. Those will surely cheer me up.

Really want pancakes and milkshakes...

-

The longer I stay on this damn job, the more I feel like I am going to lose myself. I've been spacing out every 5 minutes whenever someone talks to me. It's hard. (Hehe)

I had to stay 2 more hours overtime, no pay for my hard work the 3rd time this week. I had to wake up earlier, too. I arrived around 8 instead of 9 because the computers were acting up at my workplace and needed me, the IT guy, to fix them.

Not to mention, the printer too... If I have to fistfight the printer again, or hear any of my coworkers complain, particularly Brandon, I am going to strangle them. I am really going to snap!!!

I wish their heads would just explode into a bloody mess. Just Carrie them off with my mind powers whenever I feel annoyed of them. They surely deserve that, particularly Brandon and my boss. Fuck those two. The world would be better if they didn't exists. We don't need red flags walking around the office... only me! Haha!

-

I promised myself to do it again, but alas, old habits die hard as the saying goes.

Went to the beach for a dip and found a baby bird on the sand. Ants surrounding its small body and biting pieces away to bring it to their lair. Lucky for me, I always have my camera with me. Never the one to miss a chance.

I guess I should be sad but that's how nature is.

Cruel.

I wonder how others would react if they saw my ant-bitten corpse...

-

Finished rewatching Scream 2 and...

Damn... Why is Mickey kinda...?

Like... you know? If I was a girl I'd be into him and have his poster hanging over my bedroom wall haha.

Still angry at Scream 2 for killing Randy, tho. He was my favorite.

Rented Carrie, Slaughter High, Graduation, Prom Night, for tonight. Felt a bit nostalgic for some reason. Getting shoved in a locker every tuesday really does something to a guy. Going to have a nice movie night with myself while I think of my high school times.

Totally good for my mental stability, yup!

-

I wonder how my old high school friends have been doing...

Do they remember me with disdain? Are they happy with their life? More successful? Managed to marry a nice gal or guy and have many kids together? A stable job and nice suburban house?

...

Fuck them.

-

Death still scares me.

I thought that if I forced myself to witness the worst of the worst. Every torture imaginable, researching hours and hours and hours of how a body decays, how long does it take for it to rot, shrink, turn into dust.

Live footages of people getting decapitated, stabbed, run over, split in half, drowned, squashed to death, gutted, burned alive, choked, flayed.

I'd grow out of it.

It's not that hard to look for stuff like that as long as you know where to find it and you're patient.

Will I ever be able to look at their loved ones in their eyes. Admit that I saw the last moments of their brother, mother, a cousin? The light leaving their eyes?

I thought I've become numb enough to just stare attentively, not blinking for a second.

People I know will die one day. Complete strangers, lives of theirs I will never know, are dying as I write this.

And yet, I remain wide awake. Imagining how it'll feel for my body to reach nothingness. The maggots feasting on my insides, eating away little by little. Gourging themselves on the bile and flesh and pus from my organs till they become fat, squirmy little bugs. Eating, mating, dying, rinse and repeat over and over and over again.

My skin itches thinking of it. Like they have already managed to crawl deep inside.

Even a death as boring and not spectacular like an illness terrifies me.

-

How long do I have left? Have I wasted my life? Is it too late for me?

When will I die...

-

I miss my friends from high school... some of them I've forgotten their names...

I sometimes think about Chelsea. No, I am always thinking about her...

If I contact her... will she ever forgive me?

It's too late to cry over spilt milk.

-

Seems I've been thinking about death a lot lately.

I went to go see a movie to try and fend of the feelings of dread and paranoia that have been seeping in me.

Stale popcorn, overpriced and oversized. Check.

Watered down soda. Check.

Badly directed horror film? Check.

Annoying and talkative patrons? Double check.

The blood effects weren't as cool compared to others, but at least the lead was hot even if she couldn't act to save her life.

-

Why am I even trying?

-

I made a blog.

I post all the pictures I've taken from dead animals and roadkill.

-

I feel numb.

-

I haven't been feeling real as of late. I even dared touch one of the spilt out guts of a cat behind an alleyway. I wanted to feel something. See if I was still here. I pushed my fingers in, feeling the slimy and sticky organs. It burned and I janked my hand away.

It felt surreal.

I can't feel my hands or face at times. Like they weren't even there to begin with.

-

I think I might go to a therapist.

-

I want to die...