#feels like im doing disservice to a character i really care for by only being able to draw stupid shit idk

[ratblazer]

not to vent post again but I'm still really struggling with my art. I'm having a hard time drawing anything and im feeling idk. embarrassed of all the goofy fanart I've done?

[aq2003]

series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems

[hecksupremechips]

Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that

[eriophorumcallitrix]

ok so i wanna talk about my biggest gripe with the latest reason for disliking tubbo. this ended up accidentally being a more in-depth character explanation from my/tubbos pov. and boy do I mean the compulsive overexplanation really popped off on this one

(disclaimer: you’re obviously allowed to dislike any character you want, I’m not your mom and I’m just voicing my own view + experiences lol)

one of the biggest criticisms for him im seeing as of the moment is that he’s being annoying. and I completely agree. I think he’s being inflammatory at really awful times. but what I don’t agree with is the lack of discussion about why he’s acting this way. chalking his callousness up to simple neglect or lack of care is a disservice to his character.

my interpretation of tubbos current mental state and how he got here is like this:

tension has been high strung for weeks now due to the egg island workers showing up and harassing people. they’ve killed empanada, and there really does not seem to be shit they can do about it. the federation doesn’t give a shit, the workers are OP as all hell, and tubbo has tried everything in his power to keep sunny and her siblings safe. not even his busted set of armor kept him from getting three-tapped. like tubbo said: “why try if there’s no chance of winning?”

so already, he’s depressed and frustrated with himself for not being able to do a damn thing to keep the people he loves safe.

then we get into his relationships with the people around him. in tubbos eyes, pac and fit are forming a close relationship that he feels is going to leave him behind. pac, fit and Ramon have each other now. they’re family now in a way that tubbo doesn’t seem to be a part of now. I can’t remember if he said this exactly, but it was along the lines of: well now there’s not going to be any space for me [if they’re that close.] his closest friends are moving on without him, and there’s nothing he can do about that either.

now we have a depressed barely-adult guy whose self esteem has TANKED because he feels like there’s no use for him anymore. his friends are moving on without him and the only thing he’s good for is how useful he can be to others.

except for sunny.

it barely took a week for them to get attached to each other, and now it’s them against the world. sunny is all he needs, and tubbo is all she needs. they mean everything to each other, and would burn it all down if it made the other smile. and right now? it’s looking like it’ll be just them against the world until further notice.

but sunny has her friends. she has her siblings! she loves them to death and they love her to death too. she has her accountant bad, her bodyguard fit and driver pac! (if I remember correctly xd) and they’ve got her. sunny can trust them, and has them to stick around for.

tubbo does not have this. don’t get him wrong, he’s incredibly grateful that she’s got people on her side that love her other than him! but this doesn’t come without unspoken jealousy and resentment. not resentment towards sunny, obviously, but definitely some jealousy of her relationships with the others. and possible resentment towards the others for not sparing the same kindness towards him.

this is where I tie back to my original point. the difference between sunny and her pa is mostly communication and trust of others. sunny is willing to communicate and trust others, and tubbo is not.

to start with why tubbo isn’t communicating with others right now: i believe he’s reached the point of emotional shutdown. he has tried his damndest to do what he can to resolve the situation and nothing has worked. this is already something I believe is stressing him out really badly, thus taking up a significant portion of his emotional threshold.

and now he can’t even seek solace or help in his friends because he cannot let himself trust them.

he has tried to give out cries for help in ways that aren’t necessarily straightforward. and he’s also said some seriously worrying things lately under the guise of being jokes. i don’t blame the others for not getting that, but I still can’t help but wonder why nobody’s really thought to look any deeper into it? like don’t get me wrong, tubbo says some completely inane shit sometimes. but has the frequency of these “jokes” and his inflammatory behavior not tipped anyone off at all?

regardless, tubbo feels like he’s tried. he’s not that good at communicating, and even when he is, he may not come off as treating the situation with proper sensitivity. it’s already a struggle to communicate, not even mentioning trying to ask for help. this is a whole other layer to wondering why he even tries doing things “right.”

he already thinks people only keep him around for what he can provide, so thats the only thing he thinks he’s got going for him and he’s barely hanging onto it too.

so as a result of not knowing how to cope with the situations around him and pretty much being extended past his emotional capability, he acts out. he doesn’t want fit and pac together because they’re gonna leave him behind. so he tries to ruin it. it doesn’t work, and they are continuing to move on without him. so he constantly comments on how annoying it is, and in a way, tries to get them to push him away themselves. he just wants a resolution to this hurt he’s feeling, and he wants them to just get “the move away” over already. but obviously that’s not gonna happen.

so he makes insensitive jokes, says stupid shit and does stupid shit too. he lies and blames others. he wants his friends to push him away already and give him a good reason to finally run away with sunny and completely isolate. this is beyond his capabilities, and all he needs at this point is a solid reason for him to finally hit the ground running.

but each day he comes back to spawn, doing everything he can to not completely lose it for sunny. he’s trying his best to keep it together for her, and he can’t let himself be weak. admitting his feelings in the place he’s currently in would end up coming out as a breakdown. and he cannot let the people around him see that. it would be a fatal error to open up when he cannot trust the feds nor the egg island workers not to take advantage of his weakness. and he needs to be there for sunny, to at the very least protect her if nothing else.

so essentially: tubbo is past his emotional threshold and is barely keeping it together. the facade is slipping and the harshness/what people perceive as annoying is continuously slipping out from the cracks.

(with this next bit, this is just me recognizing autistic patterns of behavior in myself + some others in tubbo’s character. i dont actually know if he’s autistic this is just me drawing parallels from my experience. and how I have seen these behaviors be treated within the qsmp fandom. don’t say I’m armchair diagnosing him or whatever for the love of god please)

so tubbo cannot cope with the situations around him, which is resulting in his mask slipping. he’s fully aware that he’s being insensitive and kind of an ass, but he is quite literally past his capability of keeping up with social niceties at this point. and i do think the unnecessary jokes in bad taste are purposefully to get people to either notice something is wrong or to get them to push him away so he doesn’t keep hurting their feelings.

and people getting onto him about communication I think simply do not get how utterly difficult it is to communicate when you have reached the point where you’re struggling to mask. not to mention the danger he could put himself in by being vulnerable to others on top of that. so ultimately, brushing off his fears and character traits as a simple “he could do this but doesn’t want to/is just stubborn and annoying for no reason/for a reason that isn’t good enough for me” is kind of ridiculous. it also reminds me of some things I’ve been told in relation to my struggles with autism, but that’s just me. not that i think people are actually being ableist but i do think some of y’all’s arguments are slipping a little too close to ableist rhetoric.

once again you’re allowed to dislike whoever you want and think they’re annoying, but i would encourage you to think a little more in depth as to why you think they’re annoying.

(and I’m not saying some people don’t like autistic traits that aren’t cute n quirky but… it’s getting a little too close for comfort >_>)

[starfanatic]

Crafting the most controversial ranking of the olympians (including Hestia and Hades)

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST WAS INSPIRED BY @wanderingmind867

APOLLO: He's just fucking AWESOME???!!! What can I say? He's such a easy to like god when you don't let the stupid retellings poison you. He's the god of writing and music (both topics that I love) and just SO much more. I can't even grasp how much the greeks fucking loved this guy and so do I. In a more fanon-y way, in my head he's the best possible protagonist out of all the olympians for a story. There's so much nuance with him, and I just love psychoanalyzing him. I also think his relationships with other gods and every mortals is so INVESTING and intense if you think about it in the right way. Also I love blondes. Blondes are hot.

ARES: The more people hate him, the more I defend him. He gets so much undeserved bullshit, he should've been the Hades of our modern generation, he deserves it way more imo. He's a great father, a great lover, and he dances! DANCES! He's probably the god with the most misinformation besides maybe Hades. Ares kind of gives me the underdog affect? Yes he's this big huge god, but he loses FAR too much to be considered the "bully" like the myths advertise. And I get that it's supposed to be a message "brain over brawn" but quite frankly I could care less. Ares is treated bad by his parents, he just deserves so much more I love this guy. I love paralleling him with other gods too like Athena or Apollo or Zeus. He's just so fun to write.

APHRODITE: I feel the exact same way for her as I feel for Ares. I used to hate her SO MUCH, until I realized how misled I was. APHRODITE IS FUN. The only thing is that I'd defend her wrongs because I don't give a shit. "Aphrodite was petty" IDC!!!! I hate how authors (Rick.) write her. She's SO much more then what she's reduced too. She's SO powerful. I think the only reason she's not equal to Ares because I don't know a lot of her myths. She's serving cunt ALWAYS.

POSEIDON: Poseidon being so high is probably a disservice to society. BUT HES SO COOL AND SO POWERFUL????!!! Yes he does shitty stuff I'm not gonna pretend he doesn't, but seeing him in stories is just so entertaining. I typically like reading fanfics with him during the titanomachy or just fanfics where he's being a great uncle (so... super not accurate but it's entertaining). Ngl I giggled when he asked Apollo to fight him during the trojan war and Apollo said "nah im good". Poseidon is a BEAST in the fight with cool ass powers and a BEAST in bed (um.. when it's consentual... fuck I hate greek mythology sometimes). STORMBRINGER (i hope that's Poseidon and not Zeus???) GOD OF THE SEAS

HERMES: Hermes is kind of low, but NOT BECAUSE I DONT LOVE HIM. I tend to like gods who are a bit... violent if it wasn't obvious by the top 4? And even though I know Hermes can be violent I never see him BE violent. He just seems too perfect for me? Name one flaw he has that the other gods don't also have. HOWEVER he's so fun to read about, I don't like Percy Jackson but when I saw Hermes in the tv show I jumped out of my seat. I really like him with Apollo though, it brings a level of complexity that I LOVE.

zeus... I can explain. OKAY SO, I LOVE COMPLEX CHARACTER RIGHT AND GUESS WHO IS A VERY NUANCED GOD IN MYTHOLOGY??? ZEUS! I specifically like him from the titanomachy, because I like to think he was just... different when he was younger. Kind of like one of the typical heroes until the power he has changes him over time. I wish someone wrote a retelling because I'd love to see Zeus and Rhea or Zeus and Cronos interactions during the war. Disclaimer, I'm aware he does shitty shit but so does everyone on this list besides like Hestia and...that's it.

DIONYSUS: His low ranking is more to do with the lack of knowledge but also I'm not too interested in the domains he involves himself with. Never went to a party, never did drugs, never drunk alcohol, etc. HOWEVER I love when Dionysus is completely unhinged. God of MADNESS GUYS!!! ITS IMPORTANT! I love the myths where he's genuinely just being scary as fuck, I love how powerful but underestimated he is.

HERA: She deserves better. If I was her I'd do worse, but like... not to innocent children and women. That's all.

ATHENA: I don't find her that interesting. She just kind of reminds me of that one girl in the class who reminds the teacher they have homework. I am aware that I AM biased though, my top 4 gods consisted of 2 gods that are at odds with her. I just don't like how biased the myths were in her favor, it kind of makes her boring. If Ares or Athena lost equally I wouldn't mind her, but she wins every single time. Even when she loses, Zeus doesn't care and let's her get away with it anyway. Athena, for me, absolutely requires other gods to add complexity to her character.

DEMETER: I like her out of spite because I don't like Hades x Persephone shippers from modern retellings. In particular I don't like the Hades x Persephone shippers that hate on Demeter as if they know anything about her. She's only low because I like a lot of other gods better and I just feel like I'd never be able to write anything with her as a main character because I've never "psychoanalyzed" her like I did the other gods.

HESTIA: *shrug* I don't know her that well, and she doesn't seem to really have any myths to jump off from. The lack of myths and personality puts her low on the list. Though I do love how sweet she is.

HEPHAESTUS: ...he bores me. He doesn't offer anything to me whatsoever. I don't necessarily feel bad for him for the Aphrodite situation either, and I hate when a lot of people who like Hephaestus ignore VERY IMPORTANT details on the myths to serve their purpose. The majority of it is just plain boredom, but I hate how everyone villainized Aphrodite and Ares.

HADES: ...sigh. He's a bit of a unfair one. I'm not someone who can seperate the god from the people who like the god. A lot of Hades fans tend to just piss me off based off the most obvious misinformation in the entire world. I HATE how they try to hate on the other Olympians as if Hades is somehow better then him? He has no myths that doesn't make him better, we just don't have a lot of him. I don't find him necessarily interesting, and I desperately wish for the retellings for him to end. It's not really fair because it's less the god and more the "fans" but whatever it is what it is.

[dogtoling]

obviously fat people are "allowed" to like food. im fat and i like food.. im just tired of seeing fat *characters* who's only personality is to be food eating machines. i don't think you're actually doing this though. it seems like you do care about your characters. i guess i just got upset. sorry.

It's a fair criticism to have (annoyingly prevalent character archetype in media), and I can't blame anyone getting frustrated about seeing it. I'm fat too and I don't really mind that trope myself... but i WOULD LIKE to see those characters have other personality traits too, so I guess I kinda do?? I get more frustrated myself when fat characters are scrutinized for liking food and it somehow being seen as a character failing or an unacceptable personality trait (again, I get that it's largely because of the prevalent archetype) whereas if you have an identical character that's skinny it's fine. I think it's a case where you just have to be the change you want to see in the world, so yeah, I try to sit down and make my characters multidimensional. I feel like calling any of them just an eating machine would be a huge disservice, but i'll say it, that should also not be a thing to be scrutinized over. (Again something that media loves to do because god forbid fat people enjoy food without it being a spectacle or somehow morally wrong.)

I'm sorry for responding harshly as well, I'm just Tired (capital T) of people policing what is and is not an acceptable way for fat characters to exist (hint: a surprising amount of it circles right back to internalized fatphobia or just outright fatphobia! who would've thought!). I do think that stereotype of the only personality trait being food is something that's fair to get frustrated over, but I also don't think jumping on people for it online will really achieve anything meaningful or positive. I doubly don't think it's worth it for fat people to fight amongst ourselves about stuff like this (but yeah, how are you supposed to know the person you're talking to online is fat). Rambling aside, no hard feelings on my end and hopefully mutually, and I just hope you have a nice rest of the day.

[sporkberries]

I saw your post about Tim and Jason and I’ve never agreed about something more. We need more fics where them getting closer is at least canon adjacent instead of the stuff we get in fanon. A lot of their fanon content really grosses me out because it sort of reads like Tim developing Stockholm syndrome for Jason who repeatedly abuses him but can’t be blamed for it because of “pit madness” 🤢. That might just be because of my personal experiences but it really grosses me out a lot of the time

YEAH NO I 100% AGREE. I think portraying Tim as automatically forgiving Jason for the awful things he does(TO TIM) and ohh Jason wants to hurt him but its not his faulltt. Is so fucking UEGH. I think its not only a disservice to both of their characters but a really weird dynamic to tag as “fluff” and “hurt/comfort”.

I especially dislike the Titan’s Tower stories not just because they misrepresent the actual scene(which is very ridiculous imo) but because having Jason beat the shit out of Tim and then WRITE ON THE WALLS WITH HIS BLOOD and then being like ohh no he’s his care taker now is so 😨. Like imagine someone beating you so bad THEY CAN WRITE WITH YOUR BLOOD and then them kidnapping you and “taking care of you” thats so fucked…

I think the fandom in general can turn Tim into a bit of a punching bag which… fair. Im not going to pretend like i dont like angst BUT when portraying these traumatic events or his interactions with the people around him they kinda make him… spineless? Which IS a valid trauma response but its not Tim. Tim can be literally on the verge of death and he’ll still probably be shit talking you y’know? He can be self sacrificing yeah but… come on.

IDK. Jason pre reboot is kinda not a great person and i think the fandom WANTS him to be and they want to twist it into “pit madness”(which isnt a long lasting thing) or “he protects women and kids”(does he?) when it just… isn’t true?

Fanon Jason as a whole is just kinda an OC with bits of current Jason mixed into him, he doesn’t exist outside the fandom. This is why i sometimes joke about being a “jason todd hater” when i dont really have much against the character(other than most his comics being shit 😔) but because i dislike some aspects of the fandom he represents.

I do think Tim and Jason have the POTENTIAL to get along. They’re both snarky bastards and that dynamic is fun to write and mess around with but there is A LOT of baggage to unpack. Titans tower stuff aside Tim broke Jason out of prison which resulted in Jason donning a batman suit and killing a bunch if people which Tim feels EXTREME guilt for. So even if pre reboot jason wants something to do with Tim(which i think he does as he continually reaches out to him) there is a lot they would need to work on. Which i admit would be interesting to read but sadly a lot of fics dont really follow the comics that well.

Anyhow closing this off i also want to mention again how the fandom prioritizes Tim’s largely fanon(or lobdell written so shouldnt be acknowledged ) relationship with jason over his long lasting canonical relationships with female characters( Cass and Helena[HELENA IS SUCH A VICTIM OF THIS OH MY GOD AND FANON JASON STEALS SO MANY OF HER TRAITS AN-]) 😔

But yeah fanon jason and tim is weird and i’d be interested to see an actual brotherhood develop between the two but i think it would take a lot of work from the both of them(which DC will definitely not put in 😔)

[angelwolf985]

finished watching supernatural s1-15 in 3 months! here are my opinions on the finale!

(warning: probably unintelligible, and very ranty) (+ obvious spoiler warning)

episode 18 was fuckin emaculate. genuinly. it was amazing. the one thing i didnt like about it was how it jumped about, same with 19.( i dont blame them for it tho, it makes sense with the story, i just didnt really love it.) 19 was good for the most part and served as a decent ending but was missing castiel and eileen (mention + presence) which sucked but what can you expect yk,,

episode 20. i have. so many issues with episode 20. WHY DID THEY EVEN????? LIKE TWO MENTIONS OF CAS, NO MENTION OF EILEEN, DEAN FUCKING DIEING, SAMS WIG, ???HEAVEN BEING LACKLUSTER???? it was so. just disappointing. cuz it could've been great. the end part of 20 was the only good part (jared and jensen signing off of the show). the show should've ended on 19 tbh. thats how im seeing it anyway. in my mind thats where it ended, but like, with cas and eileen back.

what i really disliked:

deans death. im pretty sure everyone hated that. and the whole like thing of him dying was really,, sorta,, weird? like; why did it go on so long?? did it happen bc he doesnt have god given plot armor anymore or was it just cuz?did jack see it? how did he feel about it? did he care or did he be all omniscient because he became god?? how did he survive that long? logistically? there was a fucking rusty rebar thing IN HIS SPINE (or like RIGHT NEXT TO IT??). WOULD THAT NOT?? PARALYZE?? OR WORSE???. and, im sorry, but i hated the forehead touch. it felt weird man. i get that they were close but,, not that close? even when they were more unhealthily codependent they wouldn't have done that. i think so anyway. i dunno. also. DEAN HAS SHOWN MULTIPLE TIMES AND IM SURE THE WRITERS WERE OVERTLY AWARE THAT DEAN DID NOT WANT TO DIE ON THE JOB. HE WANTED TO RETIRE WITH SAM AND CAS. ALWAYS WANTED THAT. he often said shit like "we're gonna die on the job, draw the short stick, thats just how it is, how its gonna end for us." (mixing quotes from the top of my head so, not exact) which he clearly thought would happen because pessimism but he NEVER wanted that. for HIMSELF or SAM. dean dying in this episode IS A CRITICAL DISSERVICE TO HIS CHARACTER.

sams mystery wife and (non mystery) child. BLURRY FACE WIFE. WHY IS SHE. WHY. also- how did he recover (seemingly) so quickly? i mean- if he really believed dean was gone FOREVER. when death hasnt meant forever in forever, how would he be so okay? idk. also, idk why, but sam having a kid seems very bizzare. could just be me. also. where tf is eileen. is she the blurry face wife? why would they do that if yes? (could be a load or reasons, either way they couldve like, said it was eileen, if it was supposed to,, idk,,,)

one or two mentions of castiel. did the writers just forget his CHARACTER IMPORTANCE?!?!? HES SO IMPORTANT TO THE STORY??? HE GRIPPED DEAN TIGHT AND RAISED HIM FROM PERDITION. HE LOVED DEAN. DEAN (INARGUABLY) LOVED HIM BACK. he (castiel) deserved SO. much better. my friend who has watched spn since she was a baby AGREES WITH ME. i GRRR I GRR I GRRR!!!! cas not being in this episode is such an aggravating disservice to his character. he deserved more. the fans deserved more.

alright im done ranting now. may add more on later. im gonna go rewatch the show and read fix it fics.

[jojotichakorn]

ARCHER!! what do you think about thua outing akk and ayan? i have mixed feelings about him rn because im obsessed with him getting shit done and being a bad bitch but like…. wtf dude why would you out them.. it feels. not ooc but just confusing. IDK IM JUST CONFLICTED

JACE!!

so i think this particular instance is incredibly complex. i will try to articulate myself as best i can, in hopes that this will somehow make sense. yes, this is an essay.

to begin with, i'd like to point out that i definitely view the eclipse as a small-scale model. what i mean by that is percieving it as being a literal story about a very strict school is not only a disservice to what i think they were trying to do with the script, but also just makes the whole thing incredibly silly. if you think "oh, these students are fiercly protesting not wanting to wear a uniform and these teachers are evil for not letting the kids use their phones, while the prefects are evil for reinforcing this rule", it all gets a bit ridiculous. but if you think "oh, this is all a metaphor for how a totalitarian regime seizes total control of all areas of life, with examples of how it affects the marginalized, how it affects more privileged people, how it is done by those in power and how it is reinforced by those who serve those in power", then it becomes this really profound, smart thing.

so, before we try to transform our small-scale model of thua and the situation he found himself in to a bigger scale, allow me to start with an example from another piece of media. it is most certainly an extreme example, but one i want to make nonetheless. if you have seen jojo rabbit, you will have a bit of an easier time understanding what i have to say, but i will try to explain it in general terms for everyone who hasn't. (but please do watch jojo rabbit at some point).

so, jojo rabbit is a movie about nazi germany, and there is a character there called captain klenzendorf. klenzendorf is a retired officer from the nazi army, and he is also most often cited by people with zero critical thinking skills when they try to prove that a movie written and directed by a jewish brown man is excusing nazis. you see, klenzendorf is gay, which is particularly dangerous, of course, as that is a direct road to a concentration camp with a pink triangle sewn onto your striped shirt. he is also altogether not inherently evil, and helps the main characters of the movie twice (including helping to hide a jewish girl from the gestapo). at the end of the movie, when the war ends and the soviets arrive, klenzendorf is executed, as a nazi undeniably deserves to be.

so what taika waititi teaches us here with klenzendorf's arc is that there have been many different types of people in nazi germany at the time (people like klenzendorf, who were certainly pretty decent before the war) and that those different types of people had different circumstances which lead them to the choices they eventually made (like the choice of "proving himself" to the nazis that he made not to end up at a concentration camp). overall, taika shows us that any person - if they aren't careful enough and are selfish enough - can go down that slippery slope. and at the end of the war, that person is just like any other nazi - an awful human being, whose execution is a natural and just part of the end of the war. (the main point of jojo rabbit is that anyone can become a nazi and we must continuously step back and assess our worldview and our actions in order not to end up a despicable human being).

now that i have given this extreme example, which no doubt the quickest of readers have already desiphered, let's make the scale a bit smaller, though without returning to the silly bounds of a school.

thua is a marginalized character. he has also not made an active choice there - he is visibly marginalized and so he experiences daily oppression due to others "clocking" him. though he does hold a position that gives him some protection, it is not a position of power, such as the prefects, for instance, have. he also sees that there are people who are marginalized in a similar way to him experiencing the same oppression he does, but even more severely, as they do not have the same protection he does. he sees that they are so unprotected that they have no other choice but to fight.

at the start, the system seems quite clear to him. there is some overarching threat behind everything (the curse) that requires protection from, which is "provided" via implemented rules by the first line of power (the teachers) and reinforced by the second line of power (the prefects), which is semi-comfortable to most people out of power (the majority of the students) and actively harmful to people put down by power (our trio). i'd say thua is placed somewhere between the last two groups, which allows him to be in the necessary position for everything else to fall into place.

now, the moment things change is when thua realizes that the very foundation upon which the entire system is built simply... does not exist. it was invented by someone in the first line of power, and is now being knowingly reinforced by someone in the second line of power. the former is, of course, at fault, but all the suffering that the trio first and foremost and thua in part have experienced is actively due to the latter. you know how it goes - if a dictator has no one to dictate, the dictatorship fails.

and the moment thua's world finally turns upside down is when he realizes: the person actively causing the suffering of his marginalized group is a part of that group, and he is choosing to cause that suffering because he chooses his own safety not just in favor of himself, but at the expense of people like him. like both of them. and it could even be argued that thua understands akk is harming himself too, along with them, just because he found a place where he kind of fits in and sees no other choice but to follow the arbitrary rules of the people who have allowed him to take up that place (as long as he is doing what they want, that is).

and so thua understands: the only way he can make the entire harmful system tumble down is to make akk not only confess to what he has specifically done, but finally sit in the same boat as his fellow marginalized, instead of having an honorary spot on the ship that's shooting cannons at it. because for change to truly occur, the second line of power must seize to exist, which will only happen if akk steps out of his position of power forever and with no chance of return, as he is the only one holding up the second line of power at this point (khan was at a protest, wat is in doubt, namo admires akk and does everything to support him, everyone else is inconsequential).

at first, thua relies on ayan to do the job - the guy did come here for a reason, after all, and he's been quite proudly sitting in the boat with them. but nothing happens with ayan. and so thua takes matters into his own hands. at first he tries to nudge akk, but when that doesn't work either? he simply points at the empty spot next to him in the boat and shows that the empty spot has "akk" written on it.

thua outing akk is not some stupid personal revenge plot - his name is not wai and we are not watching bad buddy. thua outing akk is a deliberate push at the only brick in the wall that he can reach, but also crucially, a brick that does a lot to hold the wall in place.

and this is not me saying that akk is an awful character or a terrible person. i gave klenzendorf as an example not to literally draw a parallel between them but to show very vividly why what akk has been doing is bad and what the normalisation of such behavior can lead to in extreme circumstances. akk is a complex boy and he is also someone who's been through a lot. and i like him. and i like the way ayan has been consistently giving him a chance to become a better person, because thankfully he is not in extreme circumstances and he has the opportunity to change. but none of that makes what he has been doing fair, especially if we perceive the narrative as a metaphor, which i think we must do.

with klenzendorf being an extreme example, i can flip the script and go for something even more mild than what we have in the eclipse, like adam groff or dave karofsky. and i have intentionally chosen such drastically different representations of the "homophobic bully turned gay" trope, because i am not saying that it is a trope that should not be executed - i am saying that it is a trope that comes with baggage and responsibility. especially when we once more up its scale away from one single high school, leaving us somewhere between the homophobic bully and klenzendorf, but with a pretty similar conclusion:

akk's incredibly complex and frankly heartbreaking reasons for doing what he has been doing are not a big enough excuse for the suffering that he has caused, and - at this point - thua was justified in trying to end the suffering, even if it hurt akk in the process, especially because his personal pain is still incomparable with the pain that he helped cause to everyone by upholding an unjust system.

[archive2394934]

Bold of these people to assume Kali wouldn't be Henry if she had the same level of power, and I think it has a lot to do with Kali fans feeling some strange need to morally grandstand over people. I didn't mind her character at first but her fans are quickly starting to irritate me. They just hear the name Henry, and go off like his character actually did something to her- and it causes them to froth at the maw the moment they see people talking about him, even though they don't know a goddamn thing about the topic...and just dive into the convo, and diverge it because they don't know how to talk about their favorite without having some sort of tantrum.

By bold I think you mean "really stupid". She is literally his counterpart character, that's literal canon. The entire point is that Henry would be VERY MUCH like her if he escaped the lab and indeed Kali would be VERY MUCH like Henry if she was in his particular position. Its tragic because they're doing such a disservice to Kali by representing her that way because that's not her and I'll be real with you white folks will always do this because A) Feminism and B) White guilt. Female characters can simply DO NO WRONG and that goes extra when they're a WOC and if there is a male character in sight to compare, particularly if he's white, he is the devil. End of. This is how white folks in fandom show how woke and awesome they are, being performative and shallow. Like I said the Billy vs Kali issue is very relevant and does actually highlight actual fandom racism and misogyny but the shit with Henry doesn't because he does not have NEAR the fanbase Billy has as a pretty cishet white boy, Henry is considered an acceptable target in the fandom for so much ableism and homophobia its unreal.

But yeah Kali is Henry with a gun. They both have supernatural powers but Kali's aren't offensive, which has severely limited her. Henry's on the other hand are extremely offensive so he doesn't need human weapons to hurt and kill people. He is the human weapon. That means while, yes, Henry was a lot more dangerous than Kali, he was not necessarily more evil or blood thirsty. He could just do more.

Like the way this fandom treats Henry is kind of insane. I've been in a lot of fandoms and a villain stan and monster lover in all of them and I can tell you with 100% certainty I have NEVER seen a character like Henry so misrepresented and hated by the fandom. And the only difference I can see between a lot of those beloved "complex" and "tragic villains/monsters" and Henry is that Henry is super heavily ND coded. Thats the one difference I can spot.

And its so hard not to be insanely bitter about that. How this fandom is soooo desperate to not only erase that explicit canon fact about Henry but to also portray him as the most horrific anti-queer stereotypes they can possibly imagine, which is the only reason they care about any potential queer coding in the character in the first place... And I admit MAYBE Im a little attached to him personally but NONE THE LESS I am NOT the one misreading the canon here. Not even fucking close.

[futurewife]

Your post about not wanting kids irl but exploring having kids in a fictional context is really relatable. I like the idea of being a parent in a fictional context, especially if it’s like being a parental figure to fictional children who’s fictional parents didn’t treat them well. Additionally, the idea of a character you love telling you that you’d make a great parent is also really assuring and weirdly affirming. I’m not sure how to further explain it, but it’s just a really comforting thing to me personally.

but having kids in real life? Yeah no, that’s off the table. I have so many reasons why and most of said reasons are out of my control (ie: the climate is fucked) - but mostly it’s because of my medical condition which leaves me really tired a lot and taking care of myself is already hard enough as it is. Raising a whole human being while tired? YEAH NO, that’s not going to happen. But yeah I’m sorry about this ask/2 cents but your post was really relatable.

Yes totallyyy like I like thinking about telling my f/os they're gonna be dads and stuff, I think that's super cute but even then I feel like it's more about me and them and us than the baby itself HAHAHA... Just imagining little contained scenarios like that is enough for me, and it's not even in my ship lore or anything. Great for higher stakes drama and angst though. Plus I lose interest in imagining anything past uhm... delivery and the first 24 hours....uh uh no thank you. selfship inner mind theatre over. once that baby starts impeding on our relationship (jk)

I think it makes perfect sense to enjoy it only in a fantasy way because well... if you do it in real life you get an actual real baby you have to centre around and it won't even be C.able's from d.eadpool 2 ☹🙁😬😬(L)

I agree with what you said about a character telling you you're gonna be a great parent- I think this hits the part of the brain that's like yesssss f/o picked me they picked MEEEEE im going to be their little broodmare for all time :) cuz they just like me sooooo much :)) - which I am all about almost pathologically. It feels kinda gross and biological but I guess i still have that switch that says find the best genes out there and make sure you snatch them up so they get deposited into you and create offspring. ig my f/os are my brain's idea of "THE BEST GENES" so I want them to br**d me for not only sexual reasons. it's like I don't want to actually be a mother but I still want you to want to if I wanted to idk... it's nice to be ASKED ig 🙄😤😤

when I was a kid I just assumed I would have kids at some vague future date, like it was an inevitable thing coming towards me I couldn't prevent. but when I got into my 20s I realised i literally didn't have to and it's crazy that that blew my mind HAHA. I was like wait... this idea never excited me and I never really cared about it or fantasised about babies it wasn't a part of any dream future type plans. I would always wanna rp as the pregnant mother when we played house tho ig that's the only part I liked the idea of HAHAHAHA and still to this day... but hell no i don't want to take care of the doll and tote it around and pretend to feed it. this explains everything

I also agree with your climate change reason for not having kids. That's one of my personal things too- call me a doomer or whatever but I just feel like I'm doing them a disservice, when I myself am already concerned about what the rest of my life will involve with weather messing up food supplies, plastic pollution, extreme temps etc- plus the environmental impact of one more person when in all likelihood I KNOW I wouldn't really enjoy being a mother. The cons far far far outweigh the pros for me (I can only think- my partner may really want kids? but then why are they with me lol. also i feel this is a quick trip to resentment and regret because you only did it for someone else- and as a woman statistically most of the child rearing would be on me too). i also am a bit weird in the brain (menthol illness that i think emotionally stunts me and takes a lot to manage- i need a lot of time to myself to decompress) and a lot of that is coincidentally due to my own mothering experience (bad and scary) + having no positive modelling of motherhood (hence never developing the instincts? behaviours? maternal warmth who?) so it seems like a real surreal nightmare situation to have my own children.

it's ok tho I hc C.able as infertile due to the virus 😎✌

[meili-sheep]

Barbara and Diluc are my two favorite characters in the whole game that arent the otherworldly siblings. Definitely not because of the projection and too deep understanding--

But like fr tho-- Barbara and Jean's relationship is like a worse genderswapped version of Diluc and Kaeya’s. Like that one anon said, Jean barely even acknowledges her as her sister and to me it just feels like the "Bad Ending" for what couldve happened to K and D. Even after The Incident, they still managed to scrape together some kind of friendly amicable relationship but Jean and Barbara have none of that.

Jean and Barbara's relationship to me barely even seem strained because theyve grown so distant to the point that theyre basically strangers to each other. Or at least its only strained at Barbara's end, as she still wants to be loved or at least acknowledged by Jean. Jean who at this point, cares for little else but Mondstat and making sure it stays safe. Heck-- even her death quote in game is "Mondstat...". Barbara's death quote is Jean's name. And we all know that cliche of "the last thing you say is the thing you love most" thing.

Jean, despite being the (temporary) overseer of the City of Freedom is shackled to her work station and duty. Barbara meanwhile, despite being incredibly devoted to her god, manages to set some sort of a balance between her work life and personal/private life. Sure, the balance might be incredibly uneven but its leagues better than what Jean has-- devotion to the point of using everything she can to ensure and pursue her desire. Yes, the desire is noble but it shouldn't be all consuming, it shouldn't be your whole ass life.

Okay mightve strayed a little from my point there oops-- what im trying to say with the above essay is that Diluc and Kaeya could've ended up like that, Diluc not acknowledging Kaeya as family and both of them losing themselves in their work or beliefs.

Im not one to compare characters to each other-- i believe that each character can and and should stand on their own and should be acknowledged, treated and respected as such. I dont like just using a character to raise another character up and only doing that, it seems like a disservice to me. But I understand that characters can be used as foils and you cant deny the few parallels these siblings have.

Diluc and Barbara to me are such wonderful and interesting characters because of their dynamics with the people closest to them and are still wonderful characters standing alone. They are both incredibly flawed and imperfect people but they're still doing whatever they can to be the best version of themselves they can be. I had a point somewhere in here but I think this just devolved into "i think barbara is a great character, heres my tedtalk on it" and im not even mad. I'd elaborate on my things more and a little more coherently but it is currently 1 am as of writing this and dear lordy id probably have to send you a multiple page essay or something AHAHA

TLDR-- i love Barbara and Diluc, theyre great characters i can relate to on a personal level and also because their own personal story is wonderful

Here is what I find relatable about Diluc and Barbara.

They are trying to be better people.

Diluc is trying to come to terms with his experience. And trying to learn to trust people again.

Barbara is trying to find the balance of being a positive role model and support while still trying to take care of herself.

Both are aware of their flaws and are trying their best to improve themselves.

And that's where Kaeya and Jean falter for me. They don't seem to have that same drive to try and improve. They are both much more comfortable keeping things as they are. And aren't really looking within themselves.

[moomoomooing]

LEONA STORY THOUGHTS PLEASE I am curious what you think abt his arc...I personally saw it as lacking

 OK IM GLAD OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT TOO

I love Leona as a character, he and Jade were my favourites going in and still are, but holy shit they did him such a big disservice come the end of his book.

he’s genuinely amongst my favourite characters almost exclusively for his nuance and story (his looks are a very big plus wwww)

ok so i rambled a lot and basically summarized book 2 without me realizing so

 1. spoilers

2. IM SORRY I MADE THIS SO LONG

They handed us such a good build-up, they show off how cunning Leona is- he’s ruthless but in the sense that he has a goal in mind and can SEE that goal and how to get there. Hell they also show us that all of Savanaclaw (bar Jack) considers him a great leader and is willing to follow him into this scheme, even though Savanaclaw had seemed, up until that point, all about physical strength. Our initial impressions of Leona are that he’s arrogant, fairly aggressive (our first interaction was almost quite a violent one), and lazy. With the slow unveiling of his ploy to take out Diasmonia, we get the sense that theres a lot more to this catman than it seems: he’s smart and cunning.

When it gets to the actual confrontation, with the reveal that Savanaclaw’s plan was dismantled without them knowing and the ensuing fight, only for us to win, its such a good and incredibly tense moment!! We know he’s going to overblot at this point, and by god are we tense and ready to see him snap, then he suddenly says he doesn’t care.

To the rest of his dorm, that was betrayal- and we can tell it stung. We know he was just as invested in this plan as the rest of his boys, yet he starts going on how he doesn’t care. How this doesn’t and could never matter in the grand scheme of things (which grants us the first of few insights into his inner feelings). He snaps, insulting Ruggie, but also insulting himself, both as people who can never turn around their lineage. What was handed to him is all they will ever be, and in Leona’s case, he could never hope to be king. Everything he does will only ever be looked down upon, drowned in the looming shadow of his older brother.

From there we know that the overblots about to happen, he’s turning into sand, he’s loosing grip on himself and his magic. I’d love to talk about Ruggie’s whole role in this and his feelings because they really did gloss over that Leona almost killed him, that he was severely hurt by someone he put his faith in. That’s gotta leave some trauma afterwards, but I’ll save it for another time.

Right before his overblot we get this line from Lilia, “Would that the lion king of the savanna could witness this absolute farce. No, if you ask me, the collar suits you far better than a crown ever could.” 

He goes on to compare him to Malleus- ouch- and that tips Leona over the edge, being directly told that not only can he never take the crown, that he doesn’t even deserve it.

How ironic that Savanaclaw revered him as a strong and cunning leader, a GOOD leader.

(This has turned out really long and theres probably no need to continue on, I think I’ve made my point in how good of a build-up they handed us with Leona’s story, essentially just that they give us a really good explanation of a backstory, it’s not enough to make us sympathize and forgive him, but it sure informs us of why he’s like this and his view on life.)

Ok, come after Leona’s overblot, he just kinda, gets up.

Like,,, were not handed anything- Leona just kinda brushes it off (I personally hate how little they focus on how exhausted and disorientated these boy’s should’ve been after an overblot, especially after were told that it can kill them).

Just in general, they didn’t give Leona a resolution to any of this, and they honestly did that with Azul as well. With Riddle at least, he tries to change- his overblot has a notable affect on Riddle as a character, that he’s learning that his life doesn’t have to be a set of rules. Leona makes no such character development and boy do the people around him let him off easy for this as well. You’d think Ruggie would feel more strongly about this after he was almost turned to sand. 

Overall I feel a lot of frustration with how little they let him (and Azul) develop as characters afterwards, it feels like the book just falls flat on its face after we defeat Leona’s blot monster.

God I’m sorry this was so long but I hope everything got across ok-

Yeah they didn’t go places with his arc and I hate it because he has so much to work with and they gave him the chance to start to work through it but just completely let it pass.

I honestly also have some gripes on how this fandom seems to characterize him a lot, I can’t quite put a finger on how it bothers me (tho i see quite a lot of people focusing on how he’s just handsome but lazy and none of his more serious problems, i.e. an inferiority complex), but theres actually a really good fic (its a Leona x Malleus one LMAO) that has my favourite characterization of him to date.

[miafeystits]

ohh youre doing an ask game uhhh ⛔, ❌, and 🧐 if thats ok :3

yes of course thats okay! thank you for the ask 😊

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

oh i definitely have more incomplete fics than complete ones at this point in my life, although in the past year i think there's only one that i'd say ive officially scrapped (as opposed to some currently unfinished fics that i've just set to the side for a bit with the intention or returning to them at some point). i had an idea for a short "kazuma doesn't die" au fic, but once i started writing it became clear that the central scene i had in mind didnt really work on some fundamental level, mostly for characterization reasons-- so i probably wont return to that one

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

hmmm. coffee shop au maybe? are those still a thing? no offense to people who write/read them but i simply do not get the appeal

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

probably too much in a lot of cases! partially because i do genuinely enjoy research (i went into academia for a reason lmao), but also because i care a lot about the details of my writing feeling like they're grounded in the material world of the characters. this is especially important for me when writing great ace attorney fic, since even though the games themselves are nowhere near perfect historical accuracy (and not really trying for that) it'd feel like i was doing the characters a disservice if i just made assumptions about the world they live in rather than trying to think seriously about their historical reality.

also, sometimes it's just going to bug me if i, for example, mention there being electric lighting on the ss burya without double checking if there was electric lighting on steam ships during that time period, or if i get the details of a setting or item we see on-screen wrong

that being said, im not always the most thorough lmao. in my most recent fic i did 0 research re: what kind of housing ryuu would be living in, but i DID research what execution methods would have been legal in japan at that time (hanging and beheading, iirc)

[mrstsung]

Warning discourse ahead.

Also sometimes i feel sad for self shipping with some characters so this is just me letting out my feels ok? Dont mind me. Im just semi venting here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Look i write Johnny cage vastly different than canon. Ok.

I just don't like how he was written in canon. I don't like him with sonya. I don't like the backstory of his powers. I dont care for the cAge FAm. I really dont. I feel its cheap writing. I feel cassie is nothing but full of wasted potential and a wasted character slot for other more interesting characters but also sadly Jacqui has way more personality then her. Which you think she wouldn't be that way. But she is. This is no shade to any of them. Nor sonya. But i feel its all a wasted potential and taken all of sonya personality away to make her Ronda rousey and not sonya blade. Which sucks ass. Because Sonya's whole character felt reduced to military mom who gave birth to new gen and has the attitude of wet cardboard(but thats a separate post entirely) and johnny getting "character development" only when they had a kid is kinda also disservice to his character and sonyas. Its so grossly and obviously harmful tropes i cant see how people let this fly over their heads. Also They work better as friends sorry not sorry. Their personalities clash too much. And i just dont see this being beyond the superficial "you look hot and im lonely" type deal. Im sorry. I know this sounds hella mean but thats exactly what it felt like to me. It feels like forced romance on characters that have very little chemistry. I usually dont mind the "jock girl/himbo" combo. Its just doesn't work with sonya tho. I never saw her as a romantic type nor the type to want a sexual relationship. I feel she just wants to have friends she can rely on. Like shes married to her work. But for some reason thats so damn hard for people to grasp. But again thats a separate vent this aint about her nor cassie,nor Jacqui nor jax or the SF. Back to johnny. I just dont like how things played out for johnny. Its sad,a waste and honestly more of a headache than nessicary. As unpopular as that is for people. Thats how i felt. And still feel.

He's mr. Hollywood. He's an actor. And a decent fighter. Thats it. Nothing more or less. Technically he's just a dude. He knows this. And plays on his own strengths because of this. Sure he has his own insecurities. Like everyone else does. But he's aware. He's a himbo but also not that stupid. Like canon just makes out his powers too to be so damn special. When i feel it should come from his own self. No ancestors crap. No hidden greater good. Nah. It just his own chi energy. And he doesn't treat it as anything special. He's so damn nonchalant about it. Again. I could go on but you get the idea.

Sometimes i feel sad nobody's going to like or read or anything with my self ship kontent with him. Because i dont like how he is canonlly.

But then again i remember yeah nrs doesn't care about canon so why should i?

And others do what they want to. So why should i be afraid?

It's my city now.

So yeah im gonna love the funny Hollywood man anyways. And write him how i want. Regardless of what others may think.

[blueskittlesart]

hey do you think link is scared of zelda in breath of the wild? saw someone say that today, that he has mostly bad memories of her? i think. and that that’s why they don’t work together- im so confused lol had this person actually watched their interactions because he’s definitely not scared of her— but that’s just me, maybe i’m wrong

ABSOLUTELY NOT. i think link and zelda have an incredibly nuanced relationship ESPECIALLY post-calamity but under no circumstances do i think he is ever scared of her. pre-calamity there's this intense lack of communication from BOTH parties that i believe leads to them basically mutually deciding that the other does not like them. Zelda assumes link is stuck-up and hates her because he isn't able to talk to her, and link witnesses zelda at some of her lowest moments and is quite often the only person around for her to take her feelings out on, so he assumes the vitriol she spits at him is personal. obviously as they grow and spend more time together they begin to facilitate communication and realize that they actually don't dislike each other (zelda's diary is proof of this) but post-calamity link lacks most of that context. that being said i HIGHLY DOUBT link ever fears zelda. the very first introduction we (the players) get to breath of the wild is this very bright, soothing golden light, paired with zelda's voice urging us awake. what can be considered the tutorial portion of the game is all completed at the urging of zelda herself ("link! go to the location marked on your sheikah slate!") and if the player follows the opening of the game as intended they essentially allow her to guide them through an unfamiliar and obviously somewhat hostile environment, establishing that trust in her very early on. From then on she only really appears in memories and yes, she is often portrayed negatively AT FACE VALUE. but there is always always ALWAYS something very obviously lurking underneath the surface, and i honestly think it's a huge disservice to link's character to suggest that he wouldn't pick up on that or notice her (honestly pretty obvious) internal struggle despite his relative lack of context. she really doesn't hide it that well. there's a memory where she straight up tells you everything in simple terms. (tbh im getting the feeling that whoever said this missed some memories?? lol) Aside from that, it's just. unrealistic imo to suggest that link would do all this shit for a girl he is afraid of or who he believes hates him. From his perspective, hyrule is doing relatively alright without zelda. Breath of the wild is unique in that it is one of the few loz games that doesn't have obvious consequences to leaving zelda in limbo. In most other games, the world will begin to deteriorate as ganon rises to power and zelda becomes trapped. Breath of the wild introduces a world where ganon has essentially already won, but hyrule at large still continues on with some semblance of normalcy, and from amnesiac link's perspective, it's all he knows. He could leave zelda in the castle forever and he has a fair amount of evidence that hyrule will continue to be fine without her, but he DOESN'T. because he doesn't fear zelda, he cares about her. he can't leave her trapped there even if all he remembers is her yelling and crying and cursing the destiny she was born into, because he also remembers her waking him up from a hundred-year sleep and guiding him through eerily familiar ruins when he could hardly remember his own name. she is not and will never be a negative force in his life. even barring any subtext, the game itself makes it very clear in its writing and visuals that zelda is LIGHT.