#feminist sweatshirt

[thenewwomensmovement]

[dolcegalante]

Heartstopper Happy Pride Pullover Sweatshirt

[ladylibertyandco12]

Achieve top overall performance in style with our Long-Sleeve Athletic Crop Top! Designed for each fashion and function, this crop pinnacle affords flexibility and guides all through workouts & keeping you on-trend with its fashionable design.

[zaikyart]

Behind Every Strong Woman Quote Pullover Hoodie by ZAIKYART

[missmeinyourbones]

PLEASE NOTICE 

cw: noncanon universe, college au, mentions of alcohol and drinking, mutual pining, loosely based on that one tik tok audio of stan and wendy from south park LOL

“But if you come, we could—” 

Megumi cuts Yuuji off before the words can actually leave his mouth, “No.”

You walk through the door just in time to see Nobara’s face turn from a smirk to a scowl at his unexpected interruption. 

“You didn’t even let him finish!” she whines through an irritated pout. 

Megumi is quick to shrug proudly, “Don’t have to. The answer is still no.”

With a quick scan of the room, there’s a lot of different feelings dancing in the cramped space of your dorm. Megumi sits with his back against the couch, blatantly annoyed with whatever question was in the process of being asked. Yuuji sits adjacent to him on his bean bag, arms resting on his knees and persistence eager in his eyes. Nobara stands behind Yuuji, hands on her hips and her face puckered into a sour frown.

With caution, you decide to tread lightly. “...What are we talking about?”

Yuuji’s head whips in your direction, desperate for some encouragement in whatever he’s trying to persuade Megumi of.

“We’re trying to convince The Grim Reaper here to come out with us tonight,” he uses a nod to gesture to where Megumi slumps on his phone, frown covered by the collar of his hoodie.  

Nobara sighs obnoxiously before explaining, “The bartender at that place on the corner has a weird thing for him, which means free drinks on Megumi tonight.”  

You notice Megumi’s eyebrows instantly furrow at her blunt conclusion. 

“She’s some girl from my politics lecture,” his response is muffled, dismissive, through his sweatshirt, “I want nothing to do with her.”

Nobara scurries over to where Megumi wishes the couch could swallow him whole. “But she doesn’t have to know that,” her tone is airy with faux potential.  

Yuuji lets out a dry snort at her claim, “Some feminist you are.”

A smack is heard, and you don’t need to be looking to know its from Nobara’s hand meeting the back of Yuuji’s head. 

“Hey! I love women,” her hands wave in dramatic clarification, “but if Megumi playing dirty gets me a few free tequila sodas, then I’m more than fine enabling this one situation.”

You make yourself comfortable on the opposite end of the couch Megumi sits on. You don’t miss how his eyes quickly flicker over to where he feels the cushion bend beneath your weight. 

You let your sock-clad foot poke at his thigh, and he’s quick to turn his attention to you. 

“Even if you come and don’t smuggle us free drinks, I still think it’ll be fun,” you shoot him a warm smile. The simple action makes his stomach flip in on itself and his palms sweat with a feeling he can only describe as genuine. 

But what follows? Not so much.

“So fun,” Yuuji chimes in, clearly trying to further persuade Megumi into tagging along with them tonight. “Like, the most fun four best friends could ever have.” 

Megumi’s eyes roll when he scoffs, “My definition of fun isn’t watching you get wasted and being your babysitter for the night.”

Yuuji howls behind a boyish grin. 

“You could get drunk, too,” he teases in an airy giggle, “then everybody wins.”

Megumi’s nose crinkles as he thinks about drinking tonight, “You know I’m not big on drinking.”

“One wouldn’t hurt,” Nobara chimes in, “might even get that stick out of your ass.”

The two choose to ignore her smart remark. Yuuji doesn’t take his eyes off Megumi when he continues to push, “Just for a little bit?”

The huff from Megumi’s chest is instant, “I said no.”

Nobara jumps in again, “I’ll pay for the Uber, out of the kindness of my heart—”

Yuuji suddenly shakes your shoulder with a rough and excited hand. 

“Wait—you know that one guy, right?” he beams. 

Your head turns at his sudden touch, “What guy?”

“The one on the lacrosse team,” he eagerly reminds you, “who was flirting with you all night last weekend.”

“Oh yeah,” Nobara points your way as she remembers, “that was painful to watch.” 

You cringe at the memory—a guy from your campus whom you’d met a few weeks ago. He was nice enough, decently looking, and friendly with the rest of his team—but you weren't interested in him like he was in you. His actions were a bit too handsy and his humor was a tad too crude for your taste. Definitely not worth the two free vodka cranberries he bought you. 

You choose to shrug at the insinuation, “Yeah, I mean, I guess I’m friendly with him—”

“Perfect!” Nobara jumps up with excitement. “He’ll definitely be there tonight. You bat your pretty little eyelashes a bit, get a few extra beers for us. And if he tries anything funny, we bash his teeth in.” 

She claps her hands together at the simplicity of her plan, and Megumi absolutely hates the turn of events that's happened in the last thirty seconds. Sure, he didn't want to go and entertain some poor girl who has a crush on him for a few drinks—but now, with the alternative being you doing the same thing, he’s suddenly sick to his stomach.

He nearly lunges out of his seat when he tosses his phone down beside him. “Are you guys really this desperate for a few free drinks?” His tone is a bit too irritated for the light conversation at hand. 

Nobara and Yuuji spare one another a quick glance, before tucking their smiles into their cheeks and doing their best to nod thoughtfully at their aggravated friend. 

“So, you comin’? Or what?”

“Please, Megumi? My favorite stick in the mud?”

Megumi’s head shakes, and he goes to open his mouth to decline rather disrespectfully when your voice cuts him off. 

“Megumi,” you call softly, and he’s immediately burning a bright red, both inside and out. 

Your eyes are glowing with a hopeful shimmer, one that he can read without any words needed. “I won’t wanna go if you don’t come,” you gently whine, “please?”

Yuuji eagerly hits Nobara’s shoulder a few times as he does his best to whisper, “He’s slipping, he’s slipping.” Nobara grins like a cat, and you swear you can read her lips saying “man down.”

The two of them don’t even try to hide their snickers, but luckily for the two, Megumi isn't focused on them. He’s focused on you—your delicate plea music to his ears as he’s immediately softening and rethinking his whole prior mindset.  All because you so much as smiled and said please. 

With the look you're giving him right now, Megumi could never say no to you. 

“Fine,” he keeps it short and sweet, “but only for a few hours.” 

Nobara slaps his shoulder in victory as she skips towards her room to go get ready, “That’s more than enough time for me, buddy.” 

“You’re still paying for the Uber,” Megumi calls after her down the hallway, and before she descends out of sight, she turns around and salutes him a confirmation. 

With a few giggles, Yuuji isn't far behind her as he too eventually disappears, leaving just you and Megumi on the couch together. 

When he turns to face you, he’s flustered to find that you’re already admiring him. You send him a soft smile, one he knows is saying thank you, so he sends one back and prays to whoever might be listening that you know it's saying far more than you're welcome.

[misguidedasgardian]

I need to (11)

... Run myself against you

MASTERLIST

I need to… rub myself against you

Summary: Jealousy Jealousy 

Pairings: Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader 

Warnings: cursing, underage drinking in some countries, alcohol consumption, implied use of other drugs, party peopleeee

Wordcount: 3.8 k

Notes: I’m introducing new players! Muahaha, and again, all is fair in this, characters from GOT or HotD, all in one, all in!, I did not check this, it like 5 am where I live and i didn't have the strength

You wanted to cry

You had been sleep deprived for the last couple of days, you had drinked your weight in coffee, endangering your budget for the semester, and right now, the thin wooden stick model that you were making had just collapsed in your hands by lack of glue.

You loved your career, but it was demanding, and right know you needed to make a model showing three different concepts for an art gallery and you were losing your mind

You couldn’t work at your dorm, so you were in your faculty with other students, you were starving and sleepy, and even though the building was open 24/7 for this cases in particular, it did not have even a expensive machine for you to use

You were losing it

You jumped when your phone rang, it was ten pm, who could be at this hour?

To your surprise, it was Sara

“Where are you?”, she asked as soon as you answered

“At the ADA”, you muttered

“Get your ass here at the boy’s”

“Really?”

“Yeah we have coffee, tea, snacks, and energy drinks”

“Uff great, I’m on my way”, you sighed, relieved

You packed your supplies and grabbed the base for your model, and abandoned the premises after saying your goodbyes to your classmates

You liked them, you had friends, but not as friendly as to spend the night with them yet

The walk to the boy’s apartment was fast, since you were almost speed walking. You weren’t scared that something would happen to you but still your walk was very fast, it was cold at night 

You, of course, were received warmly by Cregan when he opened the door, he greeted you with a kiss in the cheek, while you could hear screams in the background

“No!”

“Auw!”

“You got it wrong! The prima nocta was forbidden during the reign of Jaehaerys the conciliator in 60 AC”, you heard a squirting sound and and Jace whined, “I thought you were a feminist Jacerys”

You came into view and realised Sara was holding a spray with an unknown liquid inside of it, and was spraying Jace

“Very funny” whined Jace drying his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt

“Hello”, you giggled

“Hello love”, She greeted, “is the only way he pays attention”

“Yeah sure”, whined Jace

“It’s only water with a bit of tea”, said Sara

“I’m loving this but please keep it away from my model”, you laughed

“Half the table is all yours”, offered Cregan, putting papers in order

“Great, thanks guys”, you said with smile, “I was about to drop at the ADA”

“I love it when you call it the ADA, sound like a cool government organisation”, mocked Jace

“RIGHT?”, you chuckled back

You had half the dining room table while Cregan had the other half with his notes and notebook, Sara and Jace shared the couch and half the tea table each 

They quizzed each other amongst silly and colourful games, that really seemed to help them, while Cregan and you ended up sitting by the same side of the table, he would lean into you to ask you something, or sometimes when he needed to rest his mind he would help you cut or paste small sticks into your model

Hours passed and you had listened to music, you had helped each other, quizzed each other, you took turns to cut small wooden pieces, or reciting Sara’s hIgh Valyrian poetry, or helped Jace with phonetics to remember dates and kings and presidents… or helped Cregan’s with hypothetical in weak spots of his plan

You felt so good with Cregan, so comfortable, and you found yourself wanting to share the bed with him again, and not even have sex but… take a power nap cuddling each other

You felt like a burning need to touch him, he had hugged you a couple of times and you found yourself wanting to be engulfed into his thick, protective arms again

He caught you staring and smiled softly at you.

“If you want to take a nap, or just sleep, you can take my room”, he offered, you looked at your model, you were almost done… but just

“Not yet, but thanks”, you whispered, “are you going to sleep?”

“Not yet”, those couple of nights you spend sleeping together had been so nice, you wanted to be with him, in his company

The idea of being intimate didn’t frighten you anymore, you were looking forwards to it

You wanted to hang out with him, you wanted to be around him, to get to know him better, you wanted to… be alone… with him 

But right now, you needed to focus, you got up from your seat and went to get a soothing tea this time and a fruit for good sugar, 

As you were waiting for the water to boil, you looked at the coffee/breakfast cabinet, and you amazed to find a brand new can of Ashford coffee

The one that you liked

You knew Jace didn't like it, and apparently, Cregan drank Dornish, so it surprised you that they had it 

“I bought it for you”, Cregan joined you in the kitchen holding his empty cup

“Really?”, you asked, he smiled

“The other day when you spent those marvellous days with us”

“They were pretty great”, coming home to your friends and your… love interest, meaning Cregan was your friend but… you wanted him to be more than that… anyways… cooking together, eating together, the domesticity, you loved it, “I almost felt guilty when they fixed the boiler”, you whined

“Right? Anyways, you two spend a lot of time here, so, it’s nice to have your favourite coffee, right?”, you smiled at him

“That is… one of the most considerate things someone has ever done for me”, you admitted, he only smiled, his cheeks tainting with a blush

The water boiler whistled, letting you know the water was ready,breaking you out of your spell

“Tea?”, you offered

“Yeah, this one from Yi-Ti is the coolest”

“Uh, we might agree in this particular hot beverage”, you teased

“Yeah my cinnamon with Dornish I won’t trade”, that northerner accent really got you

“Neither my Ashford with chocolate”, you whispered

“Good, good”, the tension grew big, and you both realised it, and dispersed from the kitchen to continue your work 

You sat back again and continued with your model

Until you couldn’t, you were going to fall off the table asleep

Sara and Jace were knocked out on top of each other, and your eyes burnt, and you had the most of your idea embodied in wood sticks, and you had completed your vision board, you dropped out

“They look so comfortable”, you whispered with a shy smile, looking at them both, cuddling sweetly 

“Yeah”, Cregan whispered, you looked at him, he looked back at you

“Can I take you up on that offer of your bed?”, you asked, with a tired voice, Cregan was already looking at you

“Always”, he whispered with a shy smile 

“Are you…?”, he nodded

And with kinky smiles, you got to his bed, and almost fainted on top of it, not having the time or energy to really do something… 

. . .

After the presentation of your model, you slept like two whole days, and Sara did too right by your side on her bed… you might have broken a personal record or something 

But as Saturday arrived… you woke up renewed and ready for your first intense party on campus, even though you were halfway done with the semester anyways

And you you were applying mascara and lipstick on the mirror of the the common room’s bathrooms

“We look so hot”. Sara giggled

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t go hang out with the boys”, you muttered, as Baela and Rhaena joined you too

“Because, the magic fades if they see it happening, if better if they see us all ready to party, looking as hot as we are looking right now”

It made sense, you were looking… pretty good, you did your eyes, and your face and your lips… and your hair! Pretty much everything

You were excited

Many things happened at parties

Sexy things…

With people you had attraction with…

“So… who are you hunting tonight ladies?”, teased Sara, remembering the night of the hunt at the beginning of the semester

“Uff Corbyn Corway is looking extra yummy”, teased Rhaena

“Yeah, it's been a while I think I’m gonna give Jon a pass”, said Baela mindlessly

“AT LAST”, celebrated Sara, you laughed 

You were getting hyped up

You took a couple of shots with your friends, even though it was a big nono regarding guidelines of campus living

And then, you walked together to the party.

The house wasn’t even on campus, it was outside of it, the legend was that the house was a rental, and the only renters were the members of the football teams, for generations

The school didn’t want anything to do with it, it wasn’t condoned 

But you didn’t care, this were the wildest parties and today you felt on fire

You wanted to see Cregan, you wanted to drink, you wanted to dance… with him… you wanted to rub yourself against him at the rhythm of music, you only hoped he wanted it too

The last time you saw him you were sleep deprived and on student mode, but today you wanted to let off some steams and Gods… you really hopes he was in the same party mode as you were

“Ladies! Welcome!”, a big man greeted you at the entrance 

“Robb”, called Sara, he had curly red hair and piercing green eyes, and a strange similarity to

“Hey cousin”

“Cousin?”, you asked

“Robb Stark M’Lady”, he greeted with the same accent you liked

“Back off Robb, she is “spoken for”, mocked Sara

“Well, nothing is set in stone”, he said, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, “Hey Theon”, another guy with dark brown hair and blue eyes approached you, he brought a tray with shots in them, “for the ladies”

“Thanks”, you said quickly, and took a shot and drank it all. The girls did the same

“Beautiful girls are always welcome in the house, party or not”, he winked, and you smiled only to be polite

“Let’s go”, murmured Sara

“I didn't know you had a cousin”, you said

“He and Cregan don’t get along”, she said quickly, “he is a junior in Business and there was always been some sort of rivalry”

You already knew about Sara, and her story, she and Cregan where half siblings, she was the daughter of an affair Cregan’s father had and he didn’t even knew about his sister until his parents died in a car accident when he was thirteen 

His uncle took care of Cregan, and he in turn took care of his sister.

Apparently, The boys haven't arrived yet, Sara texted Jace but he hadn't answered

The party was already in full swing, music blasting from the living room, so many people that you could barely see how the house actually looked like, you only could realise that it was a three story home, and it did look like those frat houses in the movies, nothing impressive regarding decor, it was clear that only guys lived here.

You went directly to the kitchen, where you got drinks 

Beer from a keg

It was lacking bubbles but it was free so you couldn’t complain

Baela, Rhaena and Sara were giggling and checking guys out, and you started to get nervous, bad nervous, there was so many people and the only one you wanted to see was not here yet 

Sara was also getting annoyed

That is until, the hosts appeared in the kitchen

“I see the ladies are making themselves comfortable”, said the ring leader apparently, you could see it now, under the horrible cold lights of the kitchen, he had on this certain thing, a similarity to Cregan you couldn’t quite pinpoint, but if you met them separately, like on the street, you would have never guessed they were related 

“And where is your man, the one that spoke for you?”, this old lingo was getting old pretty quickly, this guy was clearly into you, and you couldn’t be more 

“He will be here soon”, you whispered

“It's your cousin”, teased Baela, that seemed to surprise Robb

“Cregan?”, he said, visibly surprised, he then turned to you, “you are dating my little cousin? He is a lucky man”

“Not yet”, you said back, he raised a perfect eyebrow

“Not yet?”, he said with a mocking smile, “what does that mean?”

“It’s a long story”, you said simply, not wanting to discuss your personal life with a stranger

“Oh, speaking off”, he said, signalling to the entrance, which you could see clearly form the kitchen

A big ground of friends entered, you immediately recognised Ben and Alyssane, and behind them, entered two girls, and then, Jace and Cregan

“Ah fuck”, Sara whined

“What?”, you asked her

“They partied before with Alyssane’s friends from pre-med”, she said

The boys were talking to both girls, and they looked gorgeous, they were gorgeous, they were laughing at things you could clearly not know, since, you weren’t there at the “pre game” with them, and it was clear that they had a good time

Cregan seemed awfully close to this gorgeous redhead, and it was naive of you to think that that a guy as awesome as him was going to be alone for that long

And then, like he sensed you looking at him, he raised his head, and he looked straight at you, at first, he smiled, and then… Robb placed an arm around your shoulders, making you jump in your spot. Cregan frowned, very annoyed, like you had never seen him before 

You shook Robb off of you, making his annoying friend Theon laugh mockingly

“Sorry, reflex”, you said nonchalantly, and took the shot Sara was offering you

“Dang it, why did it have to be Miranda?”, whined Sara when she took you to a corner of the kitchen, out of the guy’s sight, and our of Robb’s reach

“What do you mean?”, you asked

“She is…. Argh, the girl I always worry about”, she admitted, you looked down, you were looking forwards to tonight, and now it was just akward

“We could go”, you whispered, she shook her head, drinking the beer she had in her hand

“No way, you have been looking forwards to this party for almost two weeks!”, she whined, “we need to vent”

“I agree”, said Rhaena, bring you both more shots, the fourth ones of the night, and you took it without complaint

Now your body was started to heat up

“Let’s dance!”, demanded Sara, and you only nodded, she grabbed you and directed you straight to the middle of the furnitureless living room, where people were jumping and dancing at the rhythm of the last song from this urban singer

You could tell Sara was angry, perhaps the reason you didn’t go to the boys’ house was because they didn’t even answer for starters.

The shots started to make effect on you, you were angry too, jealous also, but also you blame yourself for taking so long

So instead of making a scene, or just feeling gloomy, you decided to dance and let go, you had been through a lot the past months, and you did need to vent. The twins joined you and you danced together loosing yourselves to the music 

You let the music and the alcohol take you somewhere else, where you could let go

But you couldn’t hide for long, soon you had that familiar feeling, the one that told you someone was looking at you.

You immediately found Cregan, looking at you from the arch that separated the living room from the entrance

He was alone, looking at you, beer in hand, his heated gaze almost burn you, and in a second, you felt relieved, but it was short lived, the red head appeared and cling into his arm

You didn’t want to feel like this, this bitter, so you shook your head and looked away.

Of course you didn’t see him pulling away from her, you were already in the other corner of the room 

You didn’t want to see it, you couldn’t, you didn’t even go on a date with the guy and he was already hurting, that couldn’t be good, it was too good to be true, wasn’t it?

You were back in the kitchen and you served yourself a plastic cup of beer.

“There you are stranger”, of course Cregan had followed, alone, you turned to face him, and when you didn’t see the girl that had come with him, you visibly relaxed

“Hey”, you greeted

“I saw you dancing out there”, he teased, you smiled

“It’s been so long, I needed that”, you said more calmly, where is…. That girl?”

“I don’t know, I told her I wanted to see you”, he said, “she left”, you shared looks, longing looks

“She was beautiful”, you warned

“Not as beautiful as you”, he said firmly, “they came home with Ben before we were ready to come here to meet you, I didn’t want to…”

“Cousin!”, you could see how Cregan’s face got really annoyed when Robb appeared, and surrounding his shoulders with his arm, “aren’t you going to introduce me to your new girlfriends?”, what he had in handsome he had a jerk… so… quite much

“She is not my girlfriend”, he said calmly, “yet…”, he said, looking back at you

“What is this “yet…” thing?”, he had a thicker accent than Cregan, but he was using it to mock you

“Why do you care?”, Cregan asked back, Rob shook his shoulders

“It looks like you are stringing this poor girl along”, he said simply

“He is not”, you answered back, “and he is right, why do you care?”, you asked back

The kitchen was getting crowded and everyone seemed to be paying attention

“Well, nothing, it seems like you need time to think things through, to have things… clarified, and what better way to do it than a little… seven minutes in heaven?”, he asked out loud, and everyone cheered and clapped, whistled even

“What are we? Fifteen?”, mocked Cregan

“Let’s make it ten then, that should give you time for a quickie”, he said

“This is insane, I'm not gonna lock myself in a closet…”

Robb closed the door of the closet and locked it, you and Cregan exchanged looks and then whine when they turned off the lights, leaving you in total darkness 

“Well, this is embarrassing”, you whispered

“Have fun in there, and remember, we can heard everything, but pretend we cannot”, you heard Robb say, and then he walked away

“I’m sorry for him”, Cregan muttered

“Now I know why you didn’t introduced him sooner”, you mocked, he chuckled

“It’s complicated”, he said softly

“It’s fine”

“So… you got a little jealous there?”, he teased

“No…” he couldn't; even see you and he knew you were embarrassed, and not being truthful

“I have to admit… I got jealous too when I saw you with my cousin…”, you savoured the words in your mouth, you liked them 

“Cregan…”, you called

“You are not ready, I know…”

“I want to be with you”, you confessed, “I like being around you, you are considerate, generous, so so sweet and mature, when i’m with you, I feel safe and comfortable, and I want to spend more time with you…”

“I feel the same”, even in the dark, he managed to find and grab your hands softly, “I feel like I’ve known you since forever, ever since I first saw you…”

“With barbecue sauce on  my face”, you laughed, he chuckled

“I want it to lick it off of you”, his tone dropped an octave, and it made you shiver. You couldn't see his face, but you wanted to, you felt his breath on your forehead, you knew and he knew what the other wanted 

You felt him leaning in, you lent upwards, you could feel it, and almost taste him…

And then, Robb opened the door to the closet with a serious look on his face

“Happy?”, asked Cregan, annoyed, showing him your joint hands. He faked a smile

“Very”, he said then, letting you out

Cregan wouldn’t let go of you, he guided you to the first floor and onto the dance floor, your need raised again, you wanted to dance along, to celebrate, to jump in joy as Cregan accommodate you in the middle of the dance floor

“Are you sure you are ready?”, he asked, you were surrounded by people, but strangely, you felt you had more privacy now, not being heard by Robb and his creepy friends

“Yes”, you admitted, “I am, I’m so so ready”, he smiled widely

“Great”, he whispered, “mee too, I want to be with you, I want to watch slashers movies for your comfort, I want you to spend the nights in my home, in my bed…”

“I want that too”, you admitted, “I want to go to your football games, wearing your number, like in those cheesy movies”, he growled smirking

“Oh I’d love that”, he admitted, “you’d look so sexy with my colours and my last name on your shoulders”, you giggled

“Let’s do it”, you said with excitement

“Let’s do it”, he said. He looked down at you with those beautiful eyes of his, and couldn’t hold it any longer

He leaned down, you leaned in, and  your lips collided in an explosion of feeling and sensations.

The music blasting, the bodies moving, the smells of cheap beer, bodies moving, and specially, the smell of him, of his cologne, of his essence. It was mind numbing, in the best of ways, his lips moulded to yours like they were made to fit perfectly.

He grabbed you gently, hugging you tightly against him, and you passed your arms by his shoulders, not wanting to let go 

You finally separated, he abandoned your lips to pepper kisses all over your face, making you giggle

“You are so delicious, and you look so good tonight”

“Oh good, because I had a single person in mind when I was putting on this old thing”, you teased, he smiled widely

“I need to get you jealous more often”, he teased

“Don’t you dare”, he only smirked, and then he kissed you again.

taglist

@mxtokko @princesssterek @thefandomimagines @iamavailablesstuff @misspascalpunk @sweethoneyblossom1 @ipostwhtifeel @lunamoonbby @ahristata @watercolorskyy @yazzzmints @n4tforlife @littleshadow17 @alexa4040 @speedyballoonpainter @hc-geralt-23 @rayrayredpanda @eralen @yentroucnagol @valeskafics @iloveallmyboys @schadenfreude-and-sarcasm @ttkttt @aleemendoza2425-blog @drwstarkeyy @casualfansoul @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bruher @toms-cherry-trees @happinessinthebeing 

[lionmythflower]

evan rosier headcanons under the cut

Twins w pandora

He has a chinchilla (its name is dusty, barty helped name it)

He's rlly good friends w remus

In a book club w lily, remus,dorcas and regulus

He's Canadian

So he kinda had a very slight American accent

Sleeps and listens to music on long car rides

Knows Canadian French

Asexual

either gay or bi

Poc

has a tattoo of "bcjr" on his neck or shoulder (barty has a matching one of "Rosie")

Would love MARINA and Florence + the Machines

Was probably more of an ABBA fan then a queen fan

lily got him into music like ABBA and Remus got him into music like David Bowie

Would also love Arctic Monkey

Would love makeup

Has those star eyeliner stamps and he absolutely rocks them

Bigender (stole this hc from someone can't remember who at that moment)

probally goes by he/they pronouns

Pandora and Evan steal each other's clothes sm that they don't know who's is who's at this point

So ppl are like " wasn't pandora wearing that the other day?" and evan will be like "idk maybe?" And vise versa

Would love Greek mythology

Has heterochromia and his eyes are blue and green so he's is looking at u like 🔵_🟢 (O_O) (pandora also has eyes like that)

"you have heterophobia in ur eyes" "...you mean heterochromia?" "no" (barty and evan)

i feel like he would be able to play like 3 instruments and would love love love music sm

Has so. Many. Ear. Piercings.

Lace and fishnet gloves

RINGS

Evan, pandora, Dorcas, regulus, and Barty all wear rings and they all js like share rings

Would love fairy tale retellings

100% read song of Achilles and sobbed

His parents are like really that mean js very strict and they don't really give him enough privacy and it's suffocating

Has sensory overloads sometimes and he will just cling to Barty or Pandora bc they both make him feel safe when it's too much

Also has panic attacks

Says things like "I wanna kms" and ppl think he's joking but he's really not

Baggy clothes

layers his clothes a lot

had like three sweatshirts/sweaters that he LOVES

eating disorder (idk which one but he definitely has one)

Constantly has a headache

Is actually rlly su!sidal but he's only told like 2 ppl (probably Pandora and reg or barty)

Either never gets sick or gets sick every month (depends on the year)

Doesn't like talking abt his problems

Will not ask for help unless he has basically given up

Is rlly smart

He's like everything smart but doesn't really care abt math or science

That one kid who's reading and not paying attention the entire class and then gets an A on every test

He's parents don't really care about grades but he does and he gets really stressed abt grades

Would 100% be that person that you wouldn't think would be a feminist and then someone makes a rude comment abt women and he would go off on them

Very pretty

Always cold. Always

Would have loved all the movies that Millie Bobby Brown is in (Enola Holmes, and Damsel mainly)

Would love ppl doing his nails (even though he's good at doing it himself)

doc martins

Would have converse and would draw on them

Has so many books (both barty and evan rant to each other abt the books they read)

Would have adhd but more of the not able to focus side

He's nail polish is almost always chipped bc they pick at it w/o even realizing he's doing it

would have so many bracelets

Hates silence but hates loud noise even more

Had earbuds in 24/7

"Look at the moon! :0" no matter what phase the moon is in (does the same thing w the sky)

Would get sooo happy when ever he was in a place where u can clearly see the stars at night bc "omg look, you can see the stars! Their so pretty!!!"

They're so energetic but also so laid back

Pretty much all or nothing for everything (emotions, activities, relationship etc.)

Really good at drawing

normally types in all lowercase so he doesn't come off as intimating

Evan and pandora probably made fun of the pure blood stereotypes so much

(I've made by point abt this hc a lot but I'mma say it again) : Evan and regulus arguing over the pronouncing of different French words bc Evan is Canadian French and Regulus is European French lol

He's an introvert you can't tell me otherwise

Was almost put into ravenclaw bc he was arguing w the sorting hat and it was like "ok valid points, ur probably a ravenclaw" and then Evan told the hat to go fuck itself and it put him in Slytherin 💀

Definition of a keyboard smash idk how to explain it

Would have loved Pinterest

wow this is really long. I'mma make one of these for Peter later :)

[flashbangstars]

Nct Dream as Your Roommate

Mark

he is always really fair about chores and what yall do together in the apartment, (insists he does the dishes though because one time he asked you too and you responded with "is it because I'm a woman" and he refused to be a bad feminist)

His room is right across from yours and he will knock in the mornings before he leaves to make sure you wake up on time before classes

since your rooms are so close when you both are working you will place a speaker in-between the two rooms and switch off who auxs

when he moved in he wasn't use to all the bright decorations you have, but now he actually prefers it.

he calls himself a plant dad and likes to pamper your plants that are in the living room and kitchen, and has named them

knows you are single and gets protective over you whenever a guy comes over and refuses to introduce you to his friends anymore than he has already.

brought you a spiderman valentine on valentines days

Renjun

when he moved in you were actually extremely intimidated by him because he was really pretty and scary

he could tell you were scared of him

to break the ice he cooked for you both, when he knocked on your door you jumped a little, but your heart jumped a little when he told you he made dinner for you

he found out you can't really cook, so he made it his mission to try and make sure you eat, he knows it makes you feel bad so he passes it off as he made extra by accident

he often times now comes in your room in the morning while your getting ready and gets into your bed and will talk with you until you leave

he gets in trouble because he steals your hair products and forgets to put them back

he likes to work in your room because it has the most windows and natural light (he also likes that it has you, but he's not ready to admit that part) and gets caught watching you work frequently

you forget your keys constantly so he made a whiteboard that has the word KEYS in all caps on the front door

Jeno

he didn't know you were a girl so when he moved in he thought he was at the wrong apartment

you both are night owls, so you have a shared "office" in the apartment, He plays video games while you do whatever you do, he will stop in between games to bother you and usually heads to bed around the same time you do

You borrowed his sweatshirt once and now he kinda just will give them to you randomly, he also just likes seeing you in his sweatshirt

you both go grocery shopping together and race to see who can carry the most bags in

his computer is opposite yours so he likes seeing your face when you are working because you get lost in focus

he will walk around shirtless because he likes to see you get all red in the face

Haechan

When he moved in he would not leave you alone

he will come into your room in the morning while your waking up and get in bed with you and actively steal all the covers off you and say it's so cozy in here

he's like the endearing type of annoying, he will be a menace to you all morning, but will walk with you to classes even if he doesn't have any

the couch is a pretty decent size but when you both are on it, you are practically on top of each other, either he is leaned against you, or vice versa, physical touch is one of his love languages you learned very quickly

he gets pissy when you won't work at the apartment, and if you say you are going to the library he insists you let him come with

yall will take naps with each other when you get home from classes and usually wake up at 8-9 pm and frantically try to make dinner and do all the shit you forgot you had to do

he will wait till he hears you move around in your room in the morning to then open his door and try and interact with you

steals your phone charger on the daily

Jaemin

When you moved in you both really kept to yourselves

one day he came home during the day and looked like he was having a really rough day, so you went and grabbed coffee from the downstairs cafe and brought him back one, and he almost cried

Now he brings you coffee whenever he comes back from classes.

you are up before him in the mornings, and doesn't see you till the afternoon when you come back

he tries to tidy things while you are gone, including throwing out all the empty water bottles on your bedside table lmao

you will literally beg him to cook for you, like on your knees type begging and he usually does, he just likes making you desperate

he will come up behind you when you're working and hug you when he can tell you're tired and pretty much tell you it's bedtime

you both use the same shampoo and conditioner and whoever finishes it has to buy the new one

when you both are working on things the apartment can end up being silent for hours until you break out of your caffeine induced stupor

Chenle

he has the bigger room in the apartment but spends the most time in yours because you actually decorate your room

You wake him up in the mornings for class by banging on his door and then walking in and shaking him awake, because when you were gone for a week he slept through 12 classes

he does the dishes, because you do his laundry

he likes to sit with you will you work, he won't bug you but will just sit on your bed behind you with his headphones in

he orders out a lot and refuses to let you pay, and will decline your venmo request, like flagged you for fraud once

he will try and pick out outfits for you when you are getting ready in the morning, and when you try and do the same he tells you you don't have style and then proceeds to wear sweats

when you are together he literally won't shut up, but it doesn't bother you so he gets a lot of "hmmm" "yeah" "Ohhh"

brought his friends over when he thought you weren't home and when they walked in the kitchen and you were at the counter they all started screaming how he never told them his roommate was a girl

pushed them out and apologized profusely for a week

Jisung

when he moved in you literally didn't see him

he would leave for class after you and only left his room when you were in yours

one day when he came home from class you were sitting in the living room back to him working on your computer and when you didn't acknowledge him he went over and stood in front of you and asked what you were working on, this being the first ever time you both talked to each other

the apartment is actually pretty quiet most of the time because the both of you are quiet

you both really enjoy just being in each others presence whether it be in the kitchen or sitting in each others room

he picks you up from class, and will bring you a little snack for you when he gets there

He invites you to hang out with his friends when they come over and introduces you as his friend first, then roommate

[shadowqueenjude]

Even if I wasn't a Lucien enthusiast and I was neutral between Elucien and Elriel, seeing the discourse in the fandom would've ABSOLUTELY tipped me in favor of Elucien. Almost every Elriel shipper I've seen has been belligerent and rude for absolutely no reason and they delight in tearing down Lucien to bring up Azriel. Us girlies who say we want Lucien to be happy are called "sexist" for caring more about the more established character! Um, did you read the books? Who wouldn't want Lucien to be happy after everything he has gone through? Not only do they delight in tearing down Lucien, but they've resorted to shitting not only on Gwyn, but on the rest of the Valkyries as well for no other reason besides the fact that Gwyn is a potential love interest for Az! Now people are claiming the valkyries winning the Great Rite is unrealistic like Feyre didn't defeat a literal dragon as a human. Besides, this is fantasy. Since when do you fucking care about realism? For somebody who claims to be feminist and is rooting for Elain to have a "choice," you certainly seem to delight in tearing down females! Additionally, they all keep trying to change Elain's personality to try and make her fit with Azriel! They want to turn her into some kind of villainous knife-wielding lady. What the hell? That's not feminist either! Being a peaceful person does not make you weak! Elain shouldn't have to be comfortable with violence to fit a man. Additionally, they come up with the most ridiculous theories that don't even make sense. The sweatshirt SJM was wearing was by far among the most ridiculous. Sorry, I don't need to resort to hyperanalyzing Sarah j Maas's choice of attire; I read the books.

[simstomaggie]

Women's History Month Collection for Girls

March is the month to celebrate women and all our contributions to history and society!

(This was totally not supposed to be ready for International Women's Day on the 8th, no no.)

I wanted to give girls the opportunity to show off their feminism and also to celebrate diversity among women, so I made this! We have a sweatshirt with amazing women from history, a dress with incredible women from different media, and a t-shirt with amazing feminist artwork by Alura on etsy (link below)!

the "All Girls Are Superheroes"-Dress

This dress is the dress from Dream Home Decorator made bgc. The design says "All Girls Are Superheroes" in simlish, and above it you can see all kinds of (super-)heroines!

25 swatches

bgc

disallowed for random

the "Historic Women"-Sweatshirt

This was i think the original idea: make some historical women in the sims and put the faces on a shirt! I did a tiny mesh edit, to make the sweatshirt a little nicer. You have the names of the women on the shirt in the white banner, and below it says "The Future is Female". I'll leave it to you to figure out who is who ;) Thanks to my friends @kyriat-sims, @jackiewilsonsims , @dsimsdecades and @simming-in-the-rain for their lovely contributions to this project!

11 swatches

bgc

disallowed for random

a big thank you to the amazing @simverses for her help with a small weight issue!

the "Girlpower"-Shirt

These is a t-shirt with the fantastic designs by Alura! If you like them and would like to support an amazing artist, please go to her shop AluraHome! The link to the feminist art is right here! I edited them slightly, and added simlish!

31 swatches

bgc

disallowed for random

I also made this shirt for toddlers and infants! it's basically the same, although the colors of the shirt are slightly different, and they have one less swatch!

TOU:

Please do NOT claim as yours.

Do NOT put behind paywalls.

Do NOT reupload.

DO recolor (without the mesh please!)

DO use for mesh edits

PLEASE give proper credit

HAVE a good time

DOWNLOAD ON PATREON (FOR FREE, NO EARLY ACCESS!)

IF YOU’D LIKE TO SUPPORT ME, YOU CAN BECOME A PATRON, OR BUY ME A KO-FI. THANKS ♥

cc: @maxismatchccworld @mmfinds @mmoutfitters @public-ccfinds  ♥

[powderblueblood]

please do something with nancy wheelr i miss my baby

-🧞‍♀️

SAVE ME FROM WHAT I WANT - nancy wheeler

author's note: my beautiful jean genie anon, i love you so much for asking for this and i hope to god you like it. this honestly maybe might be a prologue to something bigger i'm toying around with (spot the references l o l) but-- let's just get into it, shall we??? content warning: nancy wheeler being semi in denial about her sexuality, nancy wheeler is a lesbian, mentions of pussy eatin but no actual pussy eatin, references to complicated stancy and jancy, mention of parent illness, a little angst and a little fluff word count: 1.7k

The first time Nancy Wheeler kissed a girl was not a light bulb moment.

There were no choirs of angels singing, no great and fantastic revelation about who she is. 

Because it’s not like she hadn’t thought about it before.

Nancy, a student of the human scene, has entertained the curiosity the same way one might like, want to see what happens when they throw a watermelon off the top of an eleven story building. The fall and the impact will surely be thrilling, but then there’s the cleanup. Did you know it’s illegal to throw watermelons off buildings in most US states? So theoretically, if she were to throw the watermelon, she could always toss and run. But then she’d have to live with the guilt of not going back and owning up to her mess. It could have really hurt someone. Maybe it did! 

But the temptation to throw is still there. 

Anyway, she doesn’t think about it that much. So it’s fine. 

She only thought about it when her feminist lit professor paused at her desk, returning the paper she’d written about Gloria Steinem infiltrating the Playboy Club. Professor Gonzalez, who Nancy can’t quite bring herself to call Flo despite her insistence, has sleek black hair that tumbles over her shoulder like dark and deadly sand through an hourglass. It fell in a sheet then too, almost hitting Nancy in the face as Flo told her, “This is great. I know Gloria, and she would totally love this.” 

Despite Nancy’s best friend derisively protesting that Professor Gonzalez does not know Gloria, are you shitting me, Nancy entertains daydreams where she and Flo and Gloria Steinem meet up in a dark bar for a gorgeous, stimulating meeting of the minds. In some versions, Flo goes home first, leaving Nancy and Gloria alone. In other versions, the versions that throw heat on Nancy’s cheeks even just thinking about them, Gloria goes home first and Nancy and Flo are staring at each other through the brine-heavy buzz of dirty martinis. 

Nancy doesn’t even like dirty martinis. 

She discovered this at some dorm get together or another, where one of her similarly-affected-by-pretentiousness coursemates attempted to mix them. Badly, she assumed, because they tasted like crap. She winced on every sip. 

“Someone once told me these were supposed to taste like pussy,” her best friend had said from the common area couch, to which Nancy had snorted, Jesus!, a little gin and vermouth and brine coming out of her nose. 

“And?” That came from a girl in a smart ponytail, who was wearing smart suit slacks and a smart sweater in ultra smart, muted colors. She had taken a seat next to Nancy on the floor by the fire, and Nancy found herself awkwardly adjusting her off-the-shoulder sweatshirt. She should have dressed up for this, right? But these common room salons were always happening, and it felt like it was so hard to gauge the dress code. 

“How does that flavor profile match up?” 

Nancy realized that the low tone this girl was speaking in wasn’t meant for the room. It wasn’t even meant for her best friend, who’d posed the question. It was just meant for her. 

Ah, Nancy mouthed. “Um. I don’t know. I’ve never… tried it.”

Oh, the girl mouthed back, her head cocked toward her shoulder. “Maybe you should think about expanding your palate.” 

Nancy’s stomach had jumped and she had drunk the rest of her shitty martini way too fast. By the time she had figured it was time to head to bed, her head felt like it was floating a couple of inches above her neck, and she was hand-in-hand with the smart girl from the fire. 

Back slumping against the door in a clumsy stumble. Nancy giggled. The girl, who said her name was Sal, which Nancy thought was very glamorous, leaned against the door next to her. 

“I wish I dressed like you,” Nancy said, reaching out to finger the arm of her sweater. Cashmere. Something expensive. People were always wearing expensive things here. They looked so grown-up, so continental, compared to Nancy’s department store skirts and pastel shades. 

“We can swap outfits,” Sal hummed, the words coming from low in her throat as she tilted her head towards Nancy’s, “if your roommate isn’t home.”

Nancy Wheeler, even four crapshoot dirty martinis in, is not obtuse. Seeing double might make it a quadruple entendre, but she still knows one when she hears it. 

“I… have a boyfriend,” she’d whispered, almost into Sal’s mouth. That was, at the time, only half true. She and Steve were still navigating long distance in a post-Jonathan-breakup world. It wasn’t perfect yet, so no promises were made. But history weighed heavy on them.

Sal reached out to pluck at Nancy’s old sweatshirt, the one she’d cut the neck out of to make it drape around her shoulders like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. It was a comfort thing, an old blanket, a teddy bear. “A Hawkins Tiger, no doubt?”

“Used to be.” 

“And what does a Hawkins Tiger know about pussy?” This, Sal had whispered into the shell of her ear, arm tightening around her waist. Her lips met that spot of skin behind Nancy’s ears that she liked to have touched, how did Sal know that. Giggling lowly, Nancy tilted her head to meet Sal’s lips, the kiss so small and so delicate that it hardly felt like launching anything at all. No great pull, no absolute passionate urgency. 

Suddenly, as Sal flushed her chest against Nancy’s and deepened the kiss, she had a vision of splattered watermelon. 

Projectiles are so dangerous. 

“They know… more than you’d think,” Nancy said, and smiled, and slipped away from Sal and into the darkness of her bedroom. 

Better to be safe than sorry. 

The second time Nancy kissed a girl, she didn’t even look like herself. 

She had come stomping into her best friend’s off-campus apartment (this girl being one year her senior) with her makeup kit in hand, like she was cashing in a makeover coupon that was about to expire. “Please, help me out here. I need to– it needs to be different this time.”

Now, that statement could have meant anything; it being New Years Eve, which they were about to celebrate, it being the most recent iteration of her breakup with Steve, it being her entire vision of herself. 

Nancy was fashioned into a vixen of epically out-of-her skin proportions, but she loved it. And maybe it was the bottle of cheap champagne they’d indulged in while getting ready, but she couldn’t quit gazing at her sparkling sapphire eyelids, the dress with chains for straps draping over her lithe little frame, the body waves her perm had been gelled into. She felt so far away from the hardheaded provincial do-gooder she’d admonished herself for being, a tiny bumpkin of a fish in the humongous, rushing, risque pond of college life. She felt alive and mischievous, like a nymph, her blood sparkling in her veins like the bubbles in her coupe.  

She and her best friend set off out to a party, shivering against the sub-zero temperatures and whooping like hyenas all the way there. Arms linked, sharing what little body heat they had, their mood soon flatlined as they settled into the festivities– average college fare, you know, with all of their other friends already paired off for their New Years’ kisses. They were the only two single people there, it seemed– she, recently liberated and her best friend, taking her seasonal sabbatical from mistletoe-themed hookups. It reminds her too much of a boy she knew in high school, though she’d never admit that. 

But Nancy knows. And Nancy loves her, despite the collegiate wild streak that has alienated her a little bit. And Nancy wanted to show her as much. 

Before the countdown even began, Nancy entwined their glitter painted fingers and said, “Hey! Promise me something?”

“Anything, Pants.” 

“Promise me we’ll always be as fun as we are right now,” she said, beaming. “Promise that no matter what happens, we’ll never lose it.” 

Aw! her best friend had mouthed, and took Nancy’s heart-shaped face in her hands. She leaned in, lips pulling Nancy’s in. Like tulip petals, Nancy had thought, but hadn’t exactly known why. They kissed and kissed, as the countdown raged and the ball dropped into sparkling smithereens. And as she felt her best friend’s tongue try and brace against her lips, Nancy pulled away. They stood together, forehead-to-forehead, giggling again. 

When their bubbles finally flattened, they spent the rest of the night and much of the morning talking about what life would be like if they could be together– because as much as Nancy loved her, and as fun as kissing her was, it was no watermelon. “It was a gas,” her best friend said, in that Fitzgeraldian way she had about her. 

They would celebrate the anniversary of what could have been, if they only worked out every year after.

Her first year out of college, Nancy spent her nights praying for a thrill. Six months filled with pulling doubles at a college bar in Indianapolis, hospital rooms, speaking to doctors when her mother couldn’t, fighting against her brother’s sullen silences and explaining to her sister what remission meant. Misery metastasized into monotony. She started staring down watermelons at the market. 

And she knows that’s a terrible thing to say and think, but it’s true. Even with all the support she had from Steve, who never knew exactly what to do when she’d report on her father’s diminishing health with the cadence of a newscaster, or even the help she was getting from Eddie, who took her on as a roommate in his shithole apartment. He got her a job in that divey college bar so she could be closer to her family as they all fell apart, shuttling her back and forth to Hawkins in his van. He was a better sibling to Mike than she ever was, she thought. Mike certainly seemed to like him more. 

The first time Nancy Wheeler realizes she really, really, really wants to kiss a girl, she stinks of fryer grease and spilled beer. And she should have expected it.

Expected to see her, anyway. 

Steve had told her about it weeks ago, but she had smoked half a joint of Eddie’s without telling either of them and zoned out. Very unlike the Nancy Wheeler that Hawkins had once known. 

She should have expected to see her, but here she is. Like a shock to the system, a last alarm. Nervous hands curved around a glass of Pilsner. Baseball cap on backwards. Cheeks ruddy with the chill of the city. 

“Oh! Hey– hi, Robin.”

[sebsxphia]

what do you think jake would do if you got your period in public and accidentally bled through your clothes because personally, i think he just might kill me with how aggressively sweet and feminist he would be

jnfdkjnfjka i couldn’t AGREE MORE with this omllllll

he notices first (because he’s taking a brief look at your ass, lets be real) and he takes off his sweatshirt or even his shirt, because he doesn’t care about walking around shirtless. he’ll pull you into his chest and wrap it around your waist to cover up the blood. “you’ve got your period, sweets. it’s stained through your trousers, i’m so sorry.” you couldn’t believe he was apologizing to you, for something that wasn’t his fault.

you start to panic and embarrassment rises in your cheeks. “hey, hey, baby. you’re fine. no one can see with my shirt wrapped around you and anyway, it’s completely normal and i’d deck anyone that says different.” jake stills your fumbling hands around his shirt and holds them in between your chests.

“thank you, jakey. can we go buy some pads please?” you huff out. “of course, sweets. we’ll stop off at a store on the way over and i’ll get you some new jeans too. wan’ go home after this?” he reaches up to tip your chin up to meet his gaze, checking you over. his aggressive sweetness and caring nature has you hook, line and sinker. “i’m happy to stay out.”

“you sure?” he checks again. you hum in agreement and squeeze his hand, setting off to go up into town to your nearest drug store. “alright, but i’m getting you something to eat as well.”

thank you so much for this wonderfully sweet thought my dear anon!! 💌

[cowboyjen68]

howdy jen!

I’m a younger butch, 22, and i only recently came into this label in the past year or so. i cut my hair and started embracing myself and am so much better for it, but it’s also brought a lot of struggle. primarily, i have a really hard time feeling desirable. i don’t know if it’s something to do with where i am or just my age, but i feel like it’s so much harder to meet people who are into people who look like me. it’s hard to look visibly queer, and it’s hard to be masculine. a lot of the time i feel pride in my roll as a protector and safe person, but it becomes so exhausting when i never feel safe myself. when i never feel desirable. i wonder if this is a common thing amongst butches, and if so, how do i get past it?

You could be me talking when I was 23 and just coming out. My first thought, once I really realized that I was a bit different from many of my female friends, was “What lesbian is going to be attracted to me? Lesbians like other women and I kind of look like a boy”. I truly thought that my stature, the way I walked, whatever energy or movement got me consistently mistaken for a boy (or man) was the very reason why I would never find love or passion with whom I most desired, another woman. 

In college I toned it down, I kept my hair long with a sort of short in the front mullet. I wore generic jeans and a sweatshirt to try to be somewhat comfortable but also unremarkable in my clothing choices. Looking back it made no difference. I was clockable as a lesbian, and butch, long before I fully admitted who I was to myself. 

I felt unattractive. I refused makeup and more feminine clothing and convinced myself it was because I was a “feminist” or didn’t want to invite the gaze of men because I wanted to focus on college and not date. I just knew I would be alone forever (which sounded better than being with a man in any case) and no woman would look at me as anything more than a goofy friend. 

Years later, after talking to my old friends and nights chatting with my older lesbian friends in my early 20’s I realized we all shared very similar experiences. Very few women think of themselves as desirable to others. It was the rare one, usually traditionally attractive and outgoing, who had some idea that she was interesting to the opposite sex even if she had no desire for that. Most of us had this idea that we were just plain, or ugly or just not attractive, especially to the demographic we most wanted to desire us as a romantic partner. 

The fact is, many women have a similar feeling to what you are going through regardless of her sexual orientation. 

On to the good news. The greater Western culture tends to portray butches in the media either ugly and rude or stoic or as some perfectly physically fit woman who wears a sports bra to show off her muscles and is brimming with a snarky confidence. That is show biz and not real life. 

I hear young butch4butches and young femmes and garden variety lesbians lament all the time that they can’t find butches today. “Where have all butches that love being butches gone?”  they ponder. So as a butch there are plenty of women out there seeking you and wanting to see and meet you. 

We are quite visible and it is hard to hide our lesbianism when we are in public. And most of us don’t want to. We want to be comfortable as ourselves so we put on a stiff upper lip and go into the world looking as confident and sometimes as tough looking as we can muster. Once you meet the right friends and date a woman with whom you connect you will find a feeling of safety if you let it. Allow your friends to carry some of the burden. Listen to them when they say they have your back. Let the woman you are dating stand up for you and talk about how wonderful you are. 

Take a look at my tiktoks or posts here on tumblr and you will see that butches are loved and appreciated but a vast majority of the LGBT Community. 

Wear what makes you feel confident. Get out to events at the gay bar, concerts, even non profit fundraising events. Take the time to go to places that require you to dress up and put some effort into picking an outfit that suits you. Looking good can truly lead you to feeling good. You can boost your own confidence by getting a good haircut that you love, shining your boots and putting on some light cologne. The best way to get past the feeling of being inadequate as a dating partner is to get out and meet more women to befriend.  The more women you meet the more you can see you are not alone 

As you meet more people,  and form more community connections, you become more comfortable as yourself and you feel much less endangered in public. You learn that much or your fear is thinking others are watching you when in reality most people are just trying to get through their day. This is not to say it is not important to read your surroundings, it certainly is, but you will feel much more at ease if you feel confident in yourself.

[ladylibertyandco12]

Explore our Online Organic Cotton Clothing collection for sustainable fashion at your fingertips! With a commitment to eco-consciousness, our variety offers trendy styles made from organic cotton. Shop guilt-free and redefine your wardrobe sustainably

[demonichikikomori]

Bad Aftertaste

Samatoki Aohitsugi x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.2k+ Tags: Toxic Relationship/Make Up Sex/He's a Feminist...

Art is by Hakuseki on Zerochan!

I do not like Samatoki Aohitsugi. In fact? I hate him… BUT- (I am shot point blank and am unable to defend myself after writing this. Samatoki ain't actually that bad)

SUMMARY:

Samatoki Aohitsugi is your ex boyfriend and you want it to stay that way. But he makes it so hard. But it’s your fault too. You drive him crazy.

You wondered how long you could keep this up. The desire for a healthy and somewhat normal relationship. Samatoki was only making it harder on you. But you weren’t much better. After all, the boundaries you tried to set with him were always ignored and you gave up far too easily. 

You stood outside of the bar you worked at, your exhausting shift finished at 3am, but you usually exited the building at 3:17am after changing out of your uniform and into something comfortable. A schedule that (to your displeasure) had been memorized by your ex boyfriend. 

You stared at him with your jaw clenched, and his deep red eyes stared back at you. He was lounging in a new black car, sleek and shiny with a silver skull ornament on the hood. The rap music was loud, and so was the musky scent of those nasty-ass Lucky Strike cigarettes he swore up and down he would give up when the two of you got married. 

You wouldn’t marry him even if your life depended on it.

The driver-side window was rolled down as his arm hung out of the opening, his cigarette burning down to the orange paper as he waited expectantly for you to join him in the car. The air was frigid and your sweatshirt wouldn’t shield you from the chill for very long. You had two choices: Walk almost 3 hours and 30 minutes back to your apartment, or join Samatoki in the warmth and comfort of his obviously new car. 

Neither of you said a word. This was a routine you told yourself you hated. But you were so used to it that you couldn’t help but sigh as you approached the car. His small smirk made you roll your eyes as he leaned over to open the passenger door for you. Another consistency in your life. You flopped into the expensive leather seat, dropped your bag onto the floor, and yanked the door shut with one fluid motion. “How was work?” He asked casually as he turned the music down and glanced over at you. He was pleased. You hesitated to answer him as you pulled your phone out of your sweatshirt pocket. “… It was okay.” Nothing exciting to talk about. The usual drunks and wives storming in looking for their missing husbands. “Better than shitty.” The comment was playful as he drove away from the building, and a long 25 minute drive began. Maybe 40 if Samatoki decided to hold you captive and take you the long way back to your apartment. 

He has done it multiple times in the past. He was not above doing it again. After all, he had been coming to pick you up from every shift for about a month. And not once did you have the strength to walk away from his silent command. “Why did you start working there? I liked the secretary place better.” He chimed in as you narrowed your eyes with annoyance while continuing to scroll through your missed notifications. “To get farther away from you.” The job change happened two months ago, three days after breaking up with Samatoki for the millionth time. But low and behold, it only took him a week to find your new gig. “You must love our long rides together then huh? That’s the real reason right?” 

“Can you focus on the road please?” You didn’t want to hear his voice right now. He chuckled and allowed you a moment of silence as you tapped at your phone. Clearing away spam texts for coupons and social media celebrity drama you didn’t care to check on until a friend asked you about it. A soft ping suddenly cut through the silence in the car. It was deafening as the music paused to move onto the next track and you could feel the playful air around your ex change. It felt like you were in trouble. “Who’re you texting?” Samatoki asked with an agitation lining his tone. You raised your eyes, only to watch him smash his cigarette into the little tray on the dashboard. 

You’re single and so is he. He has no reason to be angry and you have no reason to fear his response. Samatoki reached towards the cup holder where he usually stored his carton of cigarettes. In the past he had crushed so many by sitting on them or the glove compartment was too difficult to reach over to open. That was where you came in. “I’m texting my boyfriend.” Your answer was short as you grabbed the carton for him and abandoned your phone screen up in your lap. Routine. That’s all.

You pulled out a cigarette from the little cardboard box and reached for his navy blue lighter tucked into the same cup holder; assisting Samatoki as the cigarette was placed between his lips and you carefully sparked the lighter as he drove. The action felt intimate. Too familiar for your tastes. You quickly pulled away as the man inhaled, you heard the familiar crackle of the paper and tobacco turning to ash, the strong, earthy stink of the cigarette, and the sound of him rolling down the tinted window. Just enough to blow the smoke out of the car so as to not drown you in the fumes. Samatoki was thoughtful, as always. 

A frown smeared across your face and you picked up your phone. You didn’t really want to respond to your boyfriend. He sent a goodnight message since he stayed up long enough for you to get out of work. He hopes that you get home safe. You stared blankly at the texts and sent a heart emoji in response. “So… A boyfriend huh?” Samatoki grunted as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “Yep.” You told him a friend was driving you home again tonight. You put your phone on silent to ignore the rest of the incoming texts from the guy you started dating only two weeks ago. He could wait.

 “S’your boyfriend is too good to pick you up from work?” The man asked with a sly smile, but you knew what he was trying to say. “You probably threatened to beat him up before I left the building.” You snapped in annoyance and grabbed your bag to stuff your phone into. You could feel Samatoki glaring at you before returning to the road with a click of his tongue. “Now why would I do that?”

“Because you’re crazy.”

Samatoki chased all of your boyfriends away before they even had the chance to give you a cheek kiss. And somehow, someway, you always found yourself back in his arms. It was a horrific cycle the two of you went through, but no one seemed interested in actually breaking it. Not yet at least. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. It’s ugly.” He growled as you curled up in the seat and leaned towards the dark glass window. It was quiet between the two of you other than the rap song thrumming softly against the speakers of his car. “You’re ugly.” You huffed and you could hear him snicker. “Was I ugly when you rode my face two months ago?” You could feel your ears growing hot as you whipped around and smacked his shoulder with a scowl. “Stop it.” Samatoki is the most frustrating man alive. “Hey, hey, don’t hit me. I’m just asking a question.” He cooed and you turned away with your arms crossed. “No answer?” No answer indeed. He let out a soft laugh as the drive and its familiar scenery helped you relax in the expensive seat.

“Are you cold?” He asked and tapped away the ash of his cigarette into the tray. You shook your head as you watched the colorful lights and tall buildings pass you. “Silent treatment now?” Silent treatment indeed. You could tell his mood was starting to sour as you effectively ignored him. Electing to seek comfort in the passing scenery was much better than being friendly with Samatoki. You were trying to place a boundary. And for once, just once you wanted him to respect it. “Stop acting like that. You don’t have to be so snotty towards me. What did I do that was so horrible?” Clearly frustrated by your refusal to speak, his muscular arm sliding along the back of your seat as you scrunched up your face at the bitter memory. 

It was another late night screaming match, you were sick of how he was keeping tabs on you. How he was always watching you and how you had no privacy from him. He claimed he was doing it because he cared; but he was being obsessive. He was stalking you at work, trying to get one of your male co-workers fired just for waving at you one morning. You threatened to tell his sister how insane her older brother was; and that’s how it started snowballing. Insults were thrown, you were pretty sure you threw a shoe at him when he tried to block the door to keep you from leaving him. And with you hurriedly throwing some of your things into a tote bag, you left him in the doorway with his arms crossed. His crazy ass followed you in his car as you marched towards your barely lived in apartment. Tears in your eyes as he rode alongside you- Commanding that you get in the car and go back home with him. This went on for an hour until you caved and got in the car with him. You went back home with him. You let him apologize and kiss at your skin about how he’ll do better. You let him wipe your tears away and unpack your bag, putting your things back neatly where they belonged in his home. Your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, everything was back in its place. You allowed yourself to sleep beside him for a few hours. But you made sure to wake up first. Only to repack your bag and leave in a hurry. He’s a psycho. He’s an asshole. He’s a stalker.

“You don’t have to keep picking me up from work. I can take the train just fine.” You scoffed and leaned against the car door in hopes of getting further from him. “What train? You know they don’t run until 5. Don’t fuck with me.” Samatoki scoffed at your comment and ashed his cigarette as you turned your body away from him. “If you didn’t work at that shit stain bar I would let you walk home.” There he goes again. This is why you broke up over and over again.

“Stop doing that. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.” Your voice started to line with venom as the streets became more and more familiar. “And that’s fine. But when we dated this wasn’t even a concern for me to have.”

“Someone has to pay my bills.” 

“Why don’t you just ask your little boy toy then? Huh? What, is he too broke?”

There he goes again.

The vicious cycle where you left him in hopes of something healthier, only to be led back to his arms. He belittled all of your short-term boyfriends, scaring them off and making them disappear within the first few weeks of you agreeing to be theirs. It was horrible. “I can pay for my own-”

“You didn’t have to pay for anything when we were together. Including that bullshit apartment.” He growled as he rounded the corner to your complex. The apartment you barely visited because Samatoki deemed it ‘unsafe’ for you to be living alone. All of your belongings were in his home. From your expensive facial care down to loose coins. You abandoned it all to start from zero as you had done many times in the past. 

The car parked in front of the raggedy apartment complex you sought out as solace away from Samatoki. Until he started banging down your door, causing noise complaints, or when he waited outside for hours, demanding that you leave with him. You needed to get better at refusing him. But when you didn’t there was a feeling of guilt inside of you. You didn’t want to see him looking so hurt, seeing him be so patient with your bad moods. But you wanted him to understand that he wasn’t entirely innocent. It was something he needed to see. 

With a sigh you sat up and grabbed your bag, reaching for the door handle to leave him there. Yet it did not budge. You expected this. “Damn, no goodbye?” He clicked his tongue with a pout, and you could tell this was a game he wanted you to play. His pointer finger tapped gently at the safety lock, keeping you trapped in the car with him until you gave him what you wanted. And you knew very well it wasn’t goodbye. Here he goes with that controlling shit you couldn't stand. “I need to go inside and take a shower-”

“My shower is nicer.” He cut you off as you gripped the handle tightly. “I have your body scrubs and your favorite soaps. I restocked that shampoo you liked, the expensive one that makes your hair smell like flowers.” His voice softened, and so did your grip on the door. “Your slippers are at my house. Your fluffy bathrobe- Oh, and you left your satin pillowcase behind.” He continued as you felt your resolve start to weaken. “My place is just another 20 minutes of driving. I bet you didn’t eat yet either. Did you?” He asked as the heat in the car started to make you sweat, so you let go of the door handle to turn it down. You could feel his eyes watching you, studying your movements as you sat back in the leather seat with a frown. “You don’t have shit in your fridge, do you?” You knew he was wearing that smug smile that only made you hate him more. Because he only looked smug when he was right. “You gonna eat popcorn for dinner? A bag of chips? Oh, let me guess. Your last applesauce cup on a piece of buttered toast? Huh? Is that what you want for dinner?” He pushed and pushed and it started to sting. “Let me out of the car.” You mumbled, feeling tears well up in your eyes. “Why don’t I make you dinner? Something that will fill you. And you can take a bath and soak. There aren’t any places open and the trains won’t run until 5am. You wanna walk in the cold to some roach infested McDonalds? Or do you want steak and eggs with sparkling grape juice waiting for you after your bath?”

He reached over and unbuckled your seatbelt, gingerly pulling it off of you. “You don’t want to go in there.” He whispered as he put his cigarette out and freed himself from his seat next. With one hand pressing against the tinted glass, and the other against the back of your expensive leather seat, you were trapped. But you didn’t want to push him away. You could smell his expensive cologne and the cigarettes he couldn’t live without. It felt so welcoming. “You want to come home with me. You want to eat dinner with me, take a bath, and fall asleep in our big bed.” Our. You felt yourself crack. 

Samatoki was right. You didn’t want to go back to your shitty apartment. You wanted to go back to the big 60 inch flatscreen and to sleep on Samatoki’s memory foam mattress he had custom for you. You wanted to sleep under his heavy weighted blankets with his arm thrown over you the way that helped you sleep. You chewed at your lower lip, nervously squirming in the seat as he pressed his forehead against yours. “Can I have a kiss goodnight?” He requested sweetly, breathlessly. You looked up to meet his pleading eyes. You hated yourself for folding so easily. You tilted your head, giving the silent okay for him to continue. 

As his lips meshed with yours, you felt all of those boundaries you attempted to put up suddenly crumble. His body was warm as he pressed you into the seat. He pulled away for a moment, just to give you a chance to breathe. But that didn’t last long as he stole your lips a second time. His tongue pressed against yours, the sounds of the make out were messy and loud, and you started to wonder if you were okay with going back to your lonely apartment. His kisses were ones that lingered, and that nasty, nasty aftertaste of those nasty, nasty Lucky Strike cigarettes filled your taste buds. But you didn’t hate it. You liked it because it was the way Samatoki tasted. You whimpered when his hand squeezed your thigh as he pulled his mouth away from yours with a wet sound. His tongue slid against your lower lip as you tried to slow your racing thoughts. “Back seat.” It wasn’t a request. But it’s not like you would say no to him. It was like everything was moving in slow motion now. He let you climb over his cup holders and into the empty backseat. His eyes watched you closely as he crawled behind you, letting you sit on the cushions as he caged you against the seat, lips meeting yours again.  

The kisses were hurried and hungry, leaving you lightheaded as his hands worked in a flash. He was pulling at your jeans, yanking them down your thighs while shoving your sweatshirt up to your chin. You moaned against his mouth as his hands rubbed along your sides, pulling playfully at your panties to slide them down next. “You’re not even fighting. So moody.” He muttered against your lips with a smirk, pulling and tugging at your clothes until your jeans and bunched panties hung lazily off of your leg. With Samatoki slotted between your parted thighs, he proudly towered over you. “Look at you, so pretty as always.” He purred and lifted your legs to rest over his thighs to give him much better access to your fluttering pussy that was so desperate for his attention. His fingers gently rubbing at your clit as you shielded your face from him with your arms. You didn’t want to fight basic instinct, but you didn’t want to remind yourself you were giving in to your ex’s wants so easily either. Your hips rocked in tandem with the slow rubs and a breathless sigh left your lips as he slipped a long finger inside of you. “You can hide for now. But wait til’ I get inside you. I’ll get to see aaaall those pretty expressions.” His voice was playful, yet warning. The muscles in your stomach tightened and your thighs trembled as he pumped his finger slowly. Curling it up against your soft walls to push the whines and sobs out of you. 

“Please…” You whispered, not realizing what you were asking for. It was routine. It was instinct. But Samatoki wasn’t planning to tease you for it. Not when all he wanted was for you to reciprocate. You felt his finger pull out of you and you started to frown. Your arms pulled away from your face and you glanced between your thighs. 

Your face began to burn at the sight before you. “This is what you really wanted huh?” He purred with a laugh following. He crudely smacked the weight of his thick cock against the hardened bud of your clit and the wet, puffy meat of your cunt. “You keep hopping boy to boy looking for a man,” You flinched as he lined himself up, and slowly began to breach your walls. Your body sucked him in deeper. Your body craved that familiar feeling of his cock. Every rhythmic pulse and every vein lulled you into a state of euphoria as you writhed beneath him. “But you had one right here the whole time.” His words left your heart smacking against your ribs as you grabbed his forearm and held tightly. A whine slipped out of your mouth as he continued to push. You wished he had stretched you some more, but maybe this was his way of getting revenge. He knew you liked when he was rough. He was using it against you. “There you go. Sucking me in like this... You haven’t been fucked since I was with you last. Is that right? You’ve been waiting on me to grab you up? Waitin’ for me to take you? Huh? Is that it?” The raspy groan leaving his throat made you shudder as your other hand clawed at his designer shirt. 

His hips were now flush with yours, and he remained still as you struggled to catch your breath. “Look at you. You missed me so much huh?” He teased as he lowered himself on top of you. Your heart stuttered in your chest feeling his weight, and soon began the slow rocks in and out of you. His gravelly voice in your ear and the lingering taste from his cigarettes you had grown to enjoy made everything much more intense. “You havin’ fun? Playin’ hard to get?” He cooed and started to quicken the buck of his hips. The tremble of your body told him all he needed to know as he steadily fucked the moans out of you. “To take care of you. That’s why I stick around. Because I care about you so much.” He whispered with a smile, his pace steading as your legs weakly bounced with each of his thrusts. “I know what you like. I know what you need. What you crave. Because I love you.” His breath tickled your ear as he pounded you into the seat. The lewd sounds of his body connecting with yours was filling your head with a lusty fog. It was impossible to imagine why you broke up with Samatoki in the first place. Why you gave up pleasure like this for a miserable loneliness. His steady thrusts pushed you closer and closer to the edge as you practically melted underneath him. 

“Your little boyfriends can’t fuck you like I can. You know that, I know that.” He whispered against your ear with a rough punctuation of his hips. Snapping angrily against you, rocking the car gently as your hands moved to pull at his white hair. “You done actin’ out? You wanna come back and try again? We can go on aaaaall our favorite dates.” He cooed sweetly as you began to clench and squeeze around him. Your hips trembling at the saccharine promises you knew would be fulfilled with a simple ‘yes’. Expensive mall trips with matching outfits and cute photos. Boujee restaurants with VIP booths where Samatoki was allowed to smoke in peace. Late night drives around the city to see all the pretty lights while you talk for hours. Sharing drinks at high end bars. And of course, being fucked full by someone who knew your body better than you did. The round tip of his cock kissed a soft bundle of nerves within you, pushing soft screams out of you that were harder and harder to suppress. You knew the windows were tinted, but was the car sound proof? What about your boyfriend?

“W-Wait-“ You stammered with trembling lips as his hips rutted faster against yours, his weight pressing you deeper into the expensive leather seat. “Huh? Wait for what baby? Don’t you wanna cum?” His voice was so gentle. A hand slipped between your sweat slicked thighs, and began to rub delicate circles over your clit. The rough callous of his middle and index finger left you struggling for air as you shook your head. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He whispered with his hips slowing to a stop as you started to grow lightheaded. “S’not cheating if you don’t care about the guy in the first place.” He smiled against your ear as the knot in your stomach wound and wound into a tight band, ready to snap free. “You wanna be my baby, don’t you?” 

You did. 

You wanted Samatoki back. You wanted to go back to how things were. With teary eyes and a nod, you gave him a weak ‘yeah’ as his movements resumed. You were mercifully pushed over the edge, gushing around his cock, his expensive True Religion jeans, and all over the leather seat with a loud cry and a rough tug to his white tresses. “There we go, there we go. It’s okay, you’re so good for me. Such a good girl.” He praised you with a rough groan and slowly pulled out, resting his solid cock against your throbbing cunt. He didn’t cum. Not yet. “Why don’t we go out tomorrow night? We can go to that one restaurant you liked, the one with the little star shaped carrots in the salad.” He suggested sweetly with slow rocks of his hips, stimulating your sensitive body as you helplessly nodded at his words. “We can go back to the way we were. Let’s go home. Okay?” Samatoki cupped your face in his large palms, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs as he planted a kiss against your lips. And you reciprocated.

The cycle had begun again; starting with the bad aftertaste of Lucky Strike cigarettes.

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[ID: photos of me, a white nonbinary person, wearing a purple sweatshirt with jax from the amazing digital circus on it. he’s grinning. text around him says “you go girl” /end ID]

feminist jax is real and in my house