#fic: ignorance is bliss

[youareinacomawakeup]

I'm blown away that my first fic (not including the one I orphaned) is still getting regular reads.

Look at this.

People write fics that die out after days, and you people are still coming to this fic after seven years. Do you know how amazing that is? Do you know how amazing you are?

Every comment and every bookmark drives me nuts. You all need to know that. You all need to know how happy you make me.

[exhaustedcatte]

Marauders Code

“We’ve got each other’s backs, no matter what,” the four wizards chanted as they performed a blood-binding oath illegally in their dormitory.

Remus was sent straight into McGonagall’s office, where she stared at him from behind her eyeglasses.

“Mister Lupin,” she raised a brow. “Sit, please.”

He sat, weary and suddenly tired of everything that had happened.

McGonagall exhaled sharply. “What’s this about you breaking a nose, then?”

Remus lifted his left shoulder listlessly, “He was being a dic– berk to Sirius and. Well. Yeah.”

He didn’t disclose that the three boys had spent the morning cheering up Sirius after the awful, long winded howler he’d gotten from home. And just when the boy had begun to laugh, that stupid fucking idiot Yaxley had come and rained over their progress.

But Remus’ pre-moon jitters had slithered down his arm, which shot out at the older boy’s nose, breaking it upon contact.

In the four years his friends had known him, Remus’d always been mild and patient. It helped his self-esteem to be something other than a monster, but exceptions, he’d come to learn, had to be made. Quite like Sirius Black.

James and Peter had stared at him with pure admiration and Sirius gaped at him with wide, grateful eyes.

“S’alright,” he’d said awkwardly when he retrieved his arm, unscathed, from a yowling Yaxley’s face. “Worth a detention.”

“Damn right!” James hollered, tackling Remus carefully, aware of his pre-moon pains, despite his excitement.

“Moony,” Peter breathed, “You’re brill!”

Remus offered a half smile as he followed a prefect down to McGonagall’s office.

That was fourth year.

In fifth year, Sirius was the one who was laden with detention.

He’d been skidding down the stairs using a dandy charm that him and Remus had been practising for a prank.

Sirius slid down the marble steps directly into a gossip session.

“He’s such a peacock,” one of them groaned.

“Gosh, I know! And did you see how he kept babying Pettigrew in Transfig? Like he’s some kind of genius, what a git!”

Sirius frowned. Peter? James was the one who partnered with—oh.

He listened closer, sneaking up on them from behind. And of course. Evans, MacDonald, McKinnon, Fortescue.

“Potter’s inflated ego–”

James had been assisting Peter with the lesson, one that Peter had read up on with Remus but while Remus had succeeded in his second try, Peter was struggling in his twenty second.

He was reassuring a boy who needed to be reminded that sometimes things take time and that was quite alright. That it didn’t speak to your intelligence or your capabilities. These girls, who hated James purely because he was smarter than them (okay, so Sirius knew James could be a right twat, but not this time), could go straight to hell.

Sirius grinned.

He followed them behind a Disillusionment charm that he’d perfected over the winter-break at Hogwarts and spelled every staircase they took to bring them back to the same hallway. After several attempts of them running away but landing right in front of the same charms classroom, he gave in and appeared in front of their frazzled beings.

“That’ll teach you not to speak on what you don’t know,” he said coldly.

Needless to say, McGonagall was furious at him for making them skip class and gave him a week of scrubbing trophies in Filch’s office. They became fast friends after that incident though, so no harm done.

James was running late.

He had to take notes for Remus, who was lying stock still in the infirmary, Skele-gro working on his bones. Sirius was keeping watch, having dropped Herbogy in their sixth year; he had Os in every subject, he could drop anything he wished.

James dashed into the Greenhouses right behind Sprout, barely squeezing in as the glass doors slid shut. Peter waved from their spot in the corner.

Their lesson was not very fun since they were with the know-it-alls. Ravenclaws were either amiable, or they had claws.

“You’d think he’d handle plants better, with how much he eats them,” Billy whatsit sneered at Peter.

Peter wilted like his Aconite. James felt fury rise in his throat.

“Gluttony,” one girl simpered cruelly.

“Look at those love handles on him,” a third one said. “I don’t understand how he’s a Marauder.”

“Pity friendship, I think. One would think he’s a Squib,” Billy gurgled.

James rose to his feet. “Professor Sprout? I think Billy Blabbermouth and his lackeys are having trouble here.”

The class turned to them.

He hexed the trio publicly. It was a silly one, helped jog your memory, repeat your previous words (he’d used it plenty on Sirius when he was fumbling around Remus like a shy maiden).

Billy and his friends looked aghast as their disgusting words came pouring out at Sprout’s face. She took a hundred points off them, and handed detention for the next two weeks.

“Thanks James,” Peter whispered.

“Of course, mate.”

James also got detention for hexing a student in class, but he took it happily, Remus was minding that detention as Prefect anyway.

In their last year, Remus had come back with a long wooden cane, much to his chagrin.

His body couldn’t carry his weight right after the moons, so he’d been forced into a magnificent cane with a golden lion at the head. They had tried to make him feel better about it but Remus was a creature of self-reliance, of pride.

Remus hated it, Peter knew.

It happened on their way to breakfast.

Peter was behind the other three boys, voted as the one to lie to Mary about their Halloween plans (they were planning on transforming all the beds into pumpkins; no, they weren’t going to be creepy about it—mirror charms, duh), when Davey Smith traipsed past them and tripped Remus.

Remus fell down like a bag of bricks, red-faced and irate, unable to retaliate after the moon and otherwise (monster, monster, Remus chanted to himself to prevent himself from snapping, Peter knew).

Sirius and James helped him up, jaws locked with anger, as their first priority was to check on their friend.

Smith jeered. “Feet useless, cane broken, face cut up. What kind of an ugly invalid are you, Lupin?”

Davey Smith, jealous of Remus simply because he’d been asked out by Davey’s crush. What a piece of work.

“Sirius, no. James, put your wand down,” Remus sighed. “Smith, kindly get lost.”

Peter smiled. He’d not been warned. “Sorry, Mary, duty calls!”

He turned into Wormtail behind an armour and scurried up an unsuspecting Davey’s pant leg.

Wormtail bit into the Hufflepuff’s flesh.

Davey howled.

McGonagall swept into the hall, took one look at Remus, at the anger tinged faces of James and Sirius and Peter’s self-satisfied expression. Then she noticed Davey, who was flopping about the hallway embarrassingly.

“Mr Pettigrew,” McGonagall ground out tightly, “I don’t know what you’ve done, but his thigh is bleeding! Detention for the week. And Mr Smith, we will have a Talk after Madam Pomfrey is done with that gash. No Hogsmeade for the rest of the term for you.”

Peter smiled benignly. “I’ll be there, professor.”

She whisked Smith away, scolding him for hurting her kids, no doubt.

“Pete! That was fab!” Sirius laughed and James thumped his back. “Wish I could’ve given him rabies, but you might’ve done me up with plague.”

Remus was rolling his eyes, but a smile was hooking his mouth up in the corners, “I should know better by now, eh? Of course one of you will rush to defend my honour.”

“It’s what you deserve Moony,” Peter said, smiling.

Really, they’d always have each other’s backs. Until the very end.

[iridescentscarecrow]

by you talking about makima being an abusive mother i assume you're referring to eli's excellent post about CSM's association with motherhood. please do check it out if you haven't, it's been rotting away in my brain for a while and the Chainsaw Man as a birthing device is something i'll bring up in this response.

this is a really intriguing line of inquiry, and an interesting way to think of kishibe; so i'll attempt to assimilate my thoughts on how he's positioned in this answer. this will be quite long so do bear with me:

i've talked about how Family as a concept bleeds into part two from part one. in p1, makima forms for denji a Family, and in p2, denji is handed this motherhood over nayuta.

makima as the Mother is kept and collared by the state. and thinking of chainsaw man in terms of its reproductive power can be extended to its literal reproduction of the narrative. myth and memory form themselves through regurgitation, and the CSM cuts away this chain of reproduction when it eats entire concepts. when it makes people forget. there's an already apparent connection to the Womb (makima // nayuta // denji) but the selectivity in narrative-reproduction is why its central to makima and kishibe's conflict. the war against the mother who exerts control over the child.

because kishibe is the Masculine: he teaches makima and in turn makima entrusts denji and power to him,,, he narratively affirms denji's wondering if he's still able to feel, whether he shouldn't feel sadder at himeno's death by telling us, the audience, that the best devil hunters are those who "have a few screws loose." we're painted this image of denji as a feral incomprehensible Crazy thing, but this isn't true even at this phase of the story. he mourns pochita, he empathises with power's grief at losing meowy. [there's an intriguing line of thought where you compare denji with aki along this vein too, if you think about it].

and that's why the movie date with makima is actually the effective closing of this arc -- her telling denji that he does have a heart subverts kishibe's rhetoric, and what the story tells us denji is. this is makima in her role as mama, the mother, the love that she feels and recieves and creates. incidentally, the chaotic agent that kishibe envisions coincides with makima's idealisation of the chainsaw man, apart from the part where she's expressedly affectionate towards it. and who has she been raised by except these (masculine) institutions? who taught her how and what to want?

aside but "that's a lie." // he sees makima and recognises her machinations at one level but he's never really understood her or her need for love. she tells him that she wants to save people (and this may or may not be true) but he can't really parse that, can he? and kishibe also structures and contextualises so much of the story for us, just like what makima does: what i already said about denji's chaotic self, him narrating reze's past, etc. he's an independent source of information.

because yeah: kishibe is ruthless. and people often bring up kishibe's relationship with quanxi but i don't often see them balance her "ignorance is bliss" vs. kishibe's need to have a few screws loose. we know as the audience about how quanxi actively shuts herself off, but kishibe keeps talking about leaning into this devil hunter nature. and what i think is decipherable from this dynamic is that quanxi, or at least what kishibe sees her as, is kishibe's ideal. tbh she's actually a Symbol for various different ideals, her habitation and display of her sexuality alongside her Ignorance is denji's ultimate form! and kishibe trains denji... [aside but this is why cosmo being her gf is so interesting to me. something something woman who thinks ignorance is bliss x devil who embodies the Horrors of Knowing]

kishibe blindfolding himself after her death is him transposing that ignorance onto himself. he doesn't want to see a thing -- and that's where you see that dissonance. it's not that he's beyond caring, it's how blind he is in how he does this caring.

and kishibe strains against this, he wants to cut away his relationships as contrasted with makima (and even denji) wanting to form them. and this is why makima cutting off kishibe's last tie to quanxi is so interesting because you remember: quanxi didn't accept his deal.

you have kishibe pining after quanxi and yet she's not sexually available to him, so he further isolates himself. and the forming and breaking of relationships comes back here so vividly --

aki's and power's deaths form the CSM out of denji. it's crazy and unpredictable but it doesn't challenge makima, does it? // "attacks don't work against her."

and when all is said and done, denji tells him it's love. loove. denji's the one who explains makima to kishibe. they're sitting at the bench and denji's petting the dogs while nyako, the willingly domesticated animal, twirls itself around kishibe... and kishibe handles the cat with such affection. denji tells him it's love so what does he do except hand nayuta to him??

thank you for the ask, anon!

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Truly sorry people have forgotten the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" adage. But also that others are sending you the not so nice things that are being said. Like, that definitely kinda sucks too. Best to you and focusing on things that make you happy!

Oh god everyone's being so nice now I'm so embarrassed.

You're very kind dear. Well the people sending me stuff are only sending me nice things! At least on the main post! But then there will be comments or replies that complain about it - oh I don't like them anymore because they wrote BT, etc.

(Side note - BT stands for BuckTaylor so people using it for BuckTommy - dear GOD please stop. The ship names are confusing enough with y'all picking like ten of them. Please. I am smol and confuséd.)

So the people sending this stuff are well-intentioned. I only meant to explain why (among many other reasons) I won't listen to the (again, well-intentioned) people who say oh my gosh you're missing out on all the kind things people are saying on these other sites! I appreciate all that kindness, really I do and I'm so very lucky to have such enthusiasm and such love for my writing. But I would honestly rather miss out on some of it if it means that I'm protected from seeing the more spoiled or bad faith actors. I have seen very very little 'discourse' over this whole ship war that's sprung up and I'm glad for that, but part of how I've avoided it is by purposefully staying very much in my lane, not go looking through tags, and honestly even deeply limiting who I follow.

Honestly I don't let it usually bother me. 90% of people are so kind and lovely, and I know that the people being angry are not the majority. And I doubt that most of the people complaining even view it as all that deep, they're just venting because they're annoyed and being overly dramatic as we tend to be in fandom because acting overly dramatic is how we do everything around here (hell knows I do it too). I'm just really struggling in my 'real life' and having a bad day so it just kind of got to me, especially since my next three fics are BuddieTommy and I won't be publishing any Buddie until Halloween, and I was feeling kinda low like great, I'm gonna publish these and people will talk shit I guess. Not fun! I gotta say!

But I am and will be okay. I honestly did not expect my inbox to explode the way it just did when I vented in those tags. I, uh, don't expect people to care? that much? which sounds bad but I just mean that I don't expect people to pay all that much attention to me. So it's very sweet that people are sending me love and support.

Thank you for your kindness and thank you to everyone else. I really don't want this to be a Thing so I'm answering all other asks privately. Thank you dears.

[panevanbuckley]

IT'S BEEN SO LONG I'M FORGETTING WHO I AM WITHOUT MY FAVOURITE BLORBOS

[fruitybashir]

whoever sent me this i hope you know that this cursed me forever bc now the whole time while im writing smut im hearing a tiny anon voice in my head asking "are you writing this bc you wanna do this to him?" and im sitting there like >:|

[positivelybeastly]

What's supposed to be the implications of this quote?

“How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!”

"Ahh. Well, to understand the quote, you first have to understand where it comes from and the wider context of the work. It originates in Eloisa to Abelard, a verse epistle written by Alexander Pope in 1717 - a verse epistle being a poem told over the course of several letters, hence the title."

"It's inspired by the real life story of Héloïse d'Argenteuil and Peter Abelard, a romance with a twenty year age gap from the 12th century, one kept secret from the world at large so as not to destroy Abelard's career.

But, as is inevitably the case with stories that survive hundreds of years, the secret came out. Héloïse's family castrated Abelard, and he joined a monastery in shame for his quite literal loss of manhood."

"Her own prospects now dim, Héloïse, or Eloisa, was convinced by Peter to take vows as a nun. They led successful, if . . . lesser, lives, in their respective monasteries, but Abelard continued to write, most notably the Historia Calamitatum, which, as you might guess, is a history of misfortunes . . . his autobiography. When Eloisa read it, her passion for him was reignited, and they wrote to one another.

But. Things had changed."

"They tried to make sense of their tragedy, of why them, of why they had been betrayed, why their love had to be so profoundly dashed upon the rocks, but it only brought them pain. In the poem, which is a fictionalised version of the real life series of these events, Eloisa confesses her love, remembering the life they had enjoyed together.

And in remembering, and remembering the pain that comes with remembering, she exclaims;

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!”

How happy is the innocent virgin's lot in life? The world forgets her, and she is, by the world, forgotten. In a mind without darkness, before tragedy, before loss, before failure, there is nothing but eternal sunshine. What a happy state of being that must be, to not know and to forget."

"How happy we are, when we are ignorant. Before we ruin ourselves."

[johnslittlespoon]

seeing my search history in the morning like "omg wow guys last night was a movie!"

[d4ydream-girl]

seeing show only fans write luke imagines actually hurts my soul

[touchlikethesun]

it’s been a very long time since i came to the conclusion that i didn’t believe in god, but honestly, i don’t think i’ve ever truly gotten over how traumatising that whole process was… it’s been compounded and overshadowed by everything else that’s happened since that time, but i think it’s one of the first really hard thing i ever did in my life. when i lost my faith in god, i gained so much in terms of understanding in terms of reckoning with the outside world, but i also lost nearly any semblance of safety and reassurance in my life, safety that was provided by the idea of a just god but also by the sense of community a church provides and a connection to my family. i think the majority of people experience that loss of safety when they hit adulthood, when they try and strike out on their own, but i lost it at 12 with nothing to fill the hole it left but anime and fanfiction. and i wonder why i’m like this now…

[crazy-fangirl2524]

Every once in a while I remember light fires at night (to push back the void) is taken down and I just want to throw myself off a cliff

[athenasparrow]

No. 6 - Abbey | Jily Micro March

Read on AO3 | 434 words

As always, thank you @jilymicrofics for the prompt. This is one of the last ones I wrote for March Micros because I couldn't for the life of me disassociate abbey with religion and that wasn't leading me anywhere. After I managed to switch gears, this was SO fun to write xx

Cut for implied sexual content (not explicit)

WhatsApp Chat

Private: Lily Evans, James Potter

Lily Evans: I’ll be done with work in about 40 minutes.

Want to grab Laksa at that place on the corner before station?

James Potter: Actually, I want to announce reason no. 1001 why you love me.

Lily Evans: Well, was feeling pretty in love after last night ; )

Are you going to do that again?

Because 3 seemed too easy for you.

I think you should aim for 5 this time.

James Potter: Minx

Stop that at once

It’s improper to have an erection at work, you know

How am I meant to function with you reminding me of things like that

Lily Evans: Ok ok

If you don’t want to talk about past rendezvous that’s fine

Should we talk about what I’m planning to do to you tonight instead?

There is a reason I bought whipped cream, you know.

James Potter: LILY

Be serious

Lily Evans: I am

<attachment>

James Potter: Okay, well now you might not love me anymore

But remember you brought this upon yourself

I just threw out the tickets to Downton Abbey performance

I’m coming to pick you up

You’ve tempted me too far

I am only human you know

Lily Evans: Oh tickets! I do love you Xx

James Potter: Nope

Sorry

In the bin

Lily Evans: You’re so dramatic James

James Potter: And you are such a tease Xx

Lily Evans: Are tickets for show at 630pm?

James Potter: if you are referring to the tickets in the bin

Yes they were

Lily Evans: The auditorium has very nice bathrooms you know

Been there once 

Top notch

James Potter: well good for them?

But we’re not going

Coming to shag you, remember?

Lily Evans: Grab the tickets out of the bin!

Meet me there early

1. Quick shag in bathroom

2. Downton Abbey

3. Home for whipped cream ; )

James Potter: You make a fair point

Why must we choose 

The world is our oyster

Lily Evans: I know

Let’s do all of them

See you soon Xx

James Potter: shit I love you Xx

Lily Evans: Love you too : ) 

____________________________

WhatsApp Group Chat

Members: Lily Evans, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black

Sirius Black: Where is the pancake batter?

James Potter: What?

Sirius Black: Don’t pretend! I know you had pancakes.

James Potter: But we didn’t…?

Sirius Black: <attachment>

Proof James!

PROOF!

I know you have whipped cream on your pancakes

Going through a whole canister by yourself is really sinful

You live with three other people you know

Lily Evans: Don’t worry.

James was very generous with the whipped cream

[rapha-reads]

Can you tell us more about Used to have a scene with him for the WIP ask meme? 👀

Hi! Of course. It's one of the Romeo & Juliet one. It's inspired by the Dire Straits song, that verse :

You promised me everything

You promised me thick and thin, yeah

Now you just say, "Oh Romeo, yeah

You know I used to have a scene with him"

I have this idea of a Modern Day AU in which Jules and Romeo meet in high school when they're cast as the main leads for the school play, have a whirlwind, chaotic, maybe even not very healthy for each other romance, and then break up after graduating. And then meet again some years later, calmer, more settled in their skins, and they fell in love again. With a healthy dose of Tybalt x Mercutio, Rosaline being a badass and Benvolio being the only sensible one on the sides.

I just really love the Dire Straits song, and this idea rejoins the most recent R&J post I reblogged, the idea that if they'd survived, they would have stayed together, they would have been a solid couple. Because I agree that they could be a solid couple, but not when they first meet. In their canon ages, they're 14 and 16, Romeo recites poetry like that's his job and falls in aesthete love with beauty but doesn't know how to see it clearly, and Juliet feels trapped in her life, in her role, in her family, forced to cover her fire and her rebellion with docile manners. Had they survived the fake suicide plot, they would have been too volatile to hold on to each other. But if you give them freedom to grow into their own selves, away from the toxicity of their city and their families, that's when they can turn into that couple that reads each other's minds, balances each other's qualities and defaults, and dies together at 99 years old in their sleep at the same time with their hands clutched.

Aaaanyway. This turned into another R&J rant. Back to the WIP. That whole thing is what I want to explore in a modern setting. I haven't written a single line for it yet. But it already lives in my mind.

[direwombat]

funniest scene in the werewolf au hands down is when jacob shows up at the spread eagle where syb and eli are having date night, flirts with syb (knowing full well that she and eli are a couple) while she's buying another round of drinks, and tries to pry confidential information about the ongoing investigation of the death of chad wolanski.

syb, of course, gives him nothing

[bleh1bleh2]

Hi I love your art! (Sorry for stalking your blog for like the last hour, voltron has once again taken over my life) I saw a post where you were talking about a fic called 'smile for the stars' and was wondering who the author was because I would like to check it out 👁👁 also, I thought I'd recommend the fic: ignorance is bliss by youareinacomawakeup(nikanaiko) it has been my favourite voltron fic since 2017, and if you haven't read it you definitely should!!! (it WILL ruin your life)

Thank you!! I love making art :D and voltron defenetly has my attention rn, its a good deal

As for the fic, if youre gonna read it i suggest reading the tags first (major character death and whatnot) but Smile For The Stars is by Maiikcutie on ao3