#filed away as a Maybe. but i don't imagine it would actually really affect things very much at all either way so

[unproduciblesmackdown]

shifted gears like alright after the [lucifer the mysteries please] centered approach that found mostly Other Stuff, centering [blade gunnblade please], and already have found something new but in the "possibly inaccurate & probably irrelevant even if otherwise" vein as a review read through the wayback machine says: "perhaps none moreso than the gun toting android Blade Gunblade, perfectly embodied by Asia Kate Dillon. They even get an awesome heart-wrenching backstory." which is so far the singular mention that blade gunnblade is an android, however, reviewers can Just Say Things, so. i believe the blade gunnblade full backstory clip that's available is from pre 2015's run at the pit, & rather a previous run as serials at the flea (and the prop & setpiece differences if it was simply an alex seife understudy performance from 2015 would be: inexplicable) but i have to imagine that blade's peak tragic backstory ft. murdered wife & child would be very similar, & i guess it would be funny if they were just out & about living their ordinary life with a family like that while also an android, but. however i'll also give them that: mentioned a bit more often is that at least at some point kapow-i Becomes part android / referred to as a cyborg, thanks to the same character as in 2015 & prior's tragic backstory. i don't think this fun fact is like super constantly relevant or obvious, so i Could imagine something along the lines of blade getting the same treatment & it also not being particularly more relevant. or else the proximity of such concepts like "kapow-i's a cyborg, the serials run clip seems to refer to like 'we need this specific rando who is now blade to be injected with Ultimate Fighter elixir (& have their family killed. because) & people's whose bodies couldn't handle it are now kind of like funny little robots (cybernetically automated but with some personality)" & like blade we need you to be a fighting machine was thus sort of conflated lol. but maybe they're a cyborg like i think it happens a lot anyways

[burning-sol]

Briefly mentioned in the tags of my exandroth dress drawing, this is my oc Elizabeth Lydon. I've decided I'll put more stuff under the cut if you wanna read a bit more abt her. But I think what's most important to note is that she is a doctor, and generally a very good hearted, compassionate and determined person.

She's caring, but not typically in a spoken way or by using physical affection. Sometimes she seems dismissive because of that, but actually it's just because she's caring in a practical way - if that's how you'd best describe it. When someone vents to her, she might not immediately go to comfort them because she gets caught up in thinking about what to do about that problem. Elizabeth files it away in the back of her mind and puzzles over it, organises everything she needs and then gets back to you with solutions. When it comes to neighbours, she has more than once rocked up to houses with a bunch of tools and supplies to fix that ONE step that you said was annoying you a fortnight ago. And she'll quietly work away at it until she's done before heading home. It may seem a bit strange at first, but it's just her way of doing things.

Anyways. She was conceived all the way back in 2017 (god it's been half a decade) and she's remained essentially the same in concept the entire time. I've made minor adjustments to her story and personality, but that's about it aside from jumping universes! To try and keep the 'jumping universes' bit brief: I had all my OCs together in one universe; they were all wacky and had unique things happening because I was a little lad having fun with characters; the primary group of OCs developed overtime to become more 'realistic' (for lack of a better term) with a more 'realistic' universe; this year I've decided to take certain characters and concepts that were more magical and shove them into a new universe with a fantasy setting where they wouldn't conflict with the 'realistic' setting of the previous universe. Hopefully that makes sense.

Her character concept in question was that she was a doctor! But not just that, she's a time travelling doctor. Originally her time in the past was going to be more involved, but I've changed that now because I don't want to think about time travel too much. As it is, she goes back in time and studies older forms of medicine and disease to create remedies for her clinic in current time. Nobody quite understands HOW she got so prolific in medicine, but she is incredibly well known in the world for both the effectiveness of her medicine and its incredibly humble pricing.

The pocket watch is the secret to her time travelling capabilities. It's a magical mechanism that's been passed down through her family for generations now. In exchange for the family's good deeds, the entity that bestowed the watch permits they continue to use it. The only item that matches it is a bell that is kept in the cottage her family uses for business. When the bells is rung it will ring through the watch and basically serve as a beckoning home. This is VERY useful for obvious reasons. If Elizabeth is asked for in person, the bell can be rung and she'll be sure to come back home.

Maybe that doesn't quite make sense. I guess the way I imagine it is that the bell and the watch are both running in the same linear time. The bell is like an anchor. You can go to any point in the past- But when you have to come home you're brought back to the same point in time as the bell. So if the bell is rung on a Thursday and the watch is back in time on a Monday, you can't just wait a day and then go back to Thursday. When the watch is experiencing Tuesday, for the bell it's now Friday. Sorry if my explanation is messy. I hope that makes sense.

"But Sol, couldn't this easily fall into the wrong hands and be used for nefarious purposes?" Well yeah! Probably! If someone was REALLY desperate to have it they could find a way! But it would be difficult to acquire. And overall this fantasy world is a pretty optimistic, fun one? Like sure. I could make a plot around this. But that's for a DnD campaign or something. When it comes to me writing for myself? Naw. I like things being nice and warm and friendly! People are good, they act in good faith! ^ ^

And that's all I have to say on that.

[movedtodykedvonte]

CDAP Vidie/Banner — 17, 19, 28?? They’re such an interesting duo to me

17. What does a relaxing night in look like for them?

For them it's a lot of banter and gossip, one always doing something while the other idly helps. Maybe Vidie is making a new blend of tea and Banner chides her on how she's grinding the leaves, only for Vidie to tell them to do better, only for them to make a fool of themselves as they grind the coarsest tea known to man. Maybe Banner is reviewing a product and Vidie says he's being too harsh, only for Banner to let them try it and be disgusted by its poor quality. Maybe it's the joy that they can be wrong to each other in private as they can be the most pretentious and obnoxious versions of themselves imaginable, complaining about the pacing, casting, and themes of a movie without being told to not be a sourpuss about it.

A lot of the time it's them and some shitty takeout and single armrest chair they like to share while they act like they are the best things in the world to each other. They know they aren't but it's nice to share ego with someone, air out grievances you know will be taken as nitpicks to someone else, and share a closeness without having to be vulnerable.

19. How do they silently/subtly express their love for each other?

This was actually hard because I feel like these two are too direct to be subtle about anything when it comes to expression. Vidie likes flamboyance and tact while Banner treats a lot of interactions like goals to get done with the best performance. I feel like the subtle things are Vidie helping with Banner's work, not reviewing herself but organizing files, bringing her tea, making and just gentle reminders not to over do something. So for Vidie it’s act sof service, warnings and possible just leading Banner away from work to rest. Banner experiences burnout but refuses to do much about it but push through until it’s too much, Vidie is aware enough of this to actually try and wrangle him away.

Banner dotes, it’s just what Banner does. But to be more intimate I feel likes it’s seeking out Vidie to be around, following her and just sharing a general space. Banner won’t be around a person if there’s no need, so just hanging around, wanting to be physically closer, kinda is a big thing. It’s like a cat choosing you to lay on. Vidie accommodates by letting Banner in, scooting over to make room or shifting so they can lean on her. It’s a quiet and intimate moment, no teasing as it kinda takes a lot for Banner to show traditional forms of affection, I feel like they are embarrassed. The others react to these moments like they are special and sometimes Banner feels bad that their affections are treated like a prize even if they understand it. Vidie doesn’t do that and it’s appreciated.

28. What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

Before the fall out I like to think Vidie kept a lot of Banner's tea in her home, a lot of everyone's tea actually. When in the mood to think about someone she brewed a cup and basked in them. On a more personal note, it would be one of their samples, it's odd but Banner gives out a lot to the ads. It's unusual for ads to be so loose with their wares to non-lighteners and it's a weird special privilege to get that many. They don't expire so Vidie keeps them like collectors' items. Again it's odd but I feel like addison can be a bit funky. After I feel like it's magazines, Vidie only gets the ones that carry Banner's reviews and columns in them, specifically ripping them and cutting them out and saving them. He would defend this by saying he just wants to track how downhill the quality of the reviews are going but it really is admiration and desire to hear Banner's critiques in person again, to laugh and play devil's advocate for whatever poor thing is under the scrutiny of Banner's eye. To congratulate them on a job well done while offering feedback. It's just the level of impersonal to not have to dwell on it.

Before the fall out Banner didn't really keep anything from Vidie more so collected a bunch of items that they believed they would like. Banner is a reviewer and has an innate desire to cast judgment and be praised for her insights. The idea she knew exactly what Vidie liked and got the correct thing means a lot. Especially when they go out and they can't help but notice the exact things that would make it something Vidie liked, loved or adored. This of course meant that after the break up it was very difficult for Banner to want to go anywhere as everything was seen through the lens of what people she was no longer on good terms with would like. Thinking how he can't get it for them anymore and ultimately doing away with what they think they would like in their own home just to not think about it. If Banner kept anything I believe it would've been the rings Vidie sold. Vidie had excess, not every ring sold and just like Banner with the samples, he'd give them to the ads based on what he thought they would like. Obviously getting your partner a ring can carry a lot of meaning to us but they are darkeners, courting is always so direct, especially for ads. Though I like to believe Banner overthinks it, how addisons are meant to mimic lighteners and what that could mean for the plethora of bands and rings, they were given, that they continue to keep. Maybe they hope they were reading into it the right way.

These two love based on the worst parts of each other.

[babymetaldoll]

"The Sean Hotchner effect" (Spencer Reid / Reader)

My gif 😉

Requested: Yes

Summary: Spencer is jealous 'cos reader (and the rest of the female team) thinks Hotchner's younger brother is hot.

Warnings: Cursing

Category: Fluff

Word count: 4,5K

A/N: I can' believe I actually wrote a fic! I've been so busy taking care of my grandparents I've just been updating DIWK, 'cos those chapters were long written and edited. Hope you all enjoy this little story, I'll bring you a more next week, hopefully! send you all my love!! be safe babes!

Masterlist

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Working at the BAU, the team was used to seeing the worst of human behavior. Murder scenes, abuse, psychopath, you name it.

That's why seeing the apparition that walked into the bullpen that morning was such a big shock for us, the team's females.

- "What are you doing out of your bunker?"- Elle asked Penelope, who was standing next to my desk. I whipped my head, surprised to see Garcia there, out of the blue, not even looking at us. Instead, her eyes were fixated on someone who wasn't Derek.

- "I was on my way to file the things that I... file?"- Garcia made a pause as Elle and I slowly turned and looked at the guy our tech analyst couldn't stop staring at.

He was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, perfect smile. The kind of guy that could definitely get every girl's attention. We didn't get many of those at the BAU that often, except, of course, for Dr. Spencer Reid. My best friend was hands down the hottest agent in the whole FBI, and I enjoyed having him near. But this guy was completely different.

- "Who is that?"- Elle asked and stood by our side.

- "The Future Mr. Garcia,"- Penelope whispered as the tall young man walked over us and cut us one flirtatious smile. I couldn't help it and returned the smile.

- "Hi"- I smiled and waved- "How can I help you?"

- "Hey. I'm..."

- "Sean!"- Derek Worst time ever Morgan ruined the whole moment as he walked over and took that hot guy away from us. Now at least we knew his name was Sean.

- "You must be looking for your brother."- Morgan said and tapped on his back.

- "Yeah."

- "Right this way"- and that's how that apparition was gone from our lives and directed straight to... Aaron Hotchner's office?

- "Brother as in?"- Elle asked and turned to us, confused- "That's Hotch's brother?!"

- "Maybe Hotch is adopted,"- Garcia whispered, not taking her eyes from Sean until he disappeared behind the door.

- "I feel scammed. We didn't get the hot brother"- I sighed and shook my head- "Well, I might have never solved a case with that smile around the bullpen"- Elle and Penelope giggled, but someone coughed behind my back, and immediately, I knew who he was.

- "Who are you guys talking about?"

Spence Walter Reid was standing right behind my back, and the look in his eyes wasn't as sweet and friendly as I was already used to. He was upset. I just didn't know why.

- "No one"- I lied and looked away.

- "Who were you all staring at?"- Reid asked. I quickly returned to my desk (right in front of his), grabbed a few files, and pretended to be working.

- "Aaron's brother"- Elle explained- "Apparently, we got the wrong Hotchner."

- "Sean?"- Spencer frowned and looked at us- "He just got into Georgetown law school. Maybe he came to pick up his brother to celebrate."

- "Who is gonna celebrate?"- JJ walked over, holding a bunch of folders, and looked at us.

- "Hotch and my future husband"- Garcia sighed and kept looking over at Aaron's door.

- "Sean, Hotch's brother is here, and believe me, he looks nothing like his brother."

Elle smiled and moved a chair across from her desk to make sure she had the best seat in the room to see Sean when he walked out. I shook my head as Elle winked at me.

- "Stop pretending you didn't see him, (Y/N). You were the one who talked to him."

I swear, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, burning my skin. I slowly turned around and looked at him with a small, innocent smile. But all I got in return was a stern look.

- "I just... wanted to... help him"- I tried to excuse myself, but Elle laughed, and Garcia followed.

- "Sure, babe. He looked like he was hopelessly lost in the BAU. He needed your help to find his brother."- I don't know why Elle was acting like that, but she made sure Spencer would be even more upset than he already was.

- "Stop it! I just asked if he needed any help."

- "Oh! and you would have given him a hand with anything he needed, wouldn't you?"- Elle chuckled and winked again.

- "Oh sweet Jesus, I would. All he has to do is ask, and he..."- Penelope got carried away in second, and she only paused her words when Hotch's door slammed open, and we all looked at Sean storming out of the office.

- "That's Hotch's brother?"- JJ asked, surprised. Elle nodded and literally bit her lips as she stared at him, walking over. Penelope barely even blinked, and I made my best not to make eye contact with him. Instead, I looked at Reid. And he locked eyes in mine, but again, his look was cold.

- "I don't see it"- JJ stared at Sean as he clearly argued with Hotch. I stayed still, sitting behind my desk, looking at the files.

- "You know what?! Don't profile me, Aaron!"- Sean yelled, and I could only imagine Penelope's crush growing bigger with each word that came from his mouth.

- "Now I see it!"- JJ followed Sean with her eyes as he rushed out of the BAU.

- "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away."- Penelope whispered, and we all giggled.

- "Do you think Hotch is hiding that ass?"- Elle asked, and I couldn't hold the laughter.

- "I didn't want to think of that!"

- "Oh please!! (Y/N) stop being such a goodie-goodie!!"- Elle smacked my arm and shook her head- "You stared at his ass. Deal with it. You are single! You don't have to pretend you don't see a hot guy when you see one."

- "I saw him. He was cute. I'm just... not... that... affected...."

- "You don't have to pretend,"- Spencer said suddenly and raised an eyebrow- "Your body language indicates that you are nervous. You are blinking rapidly, our pupils are dilated, and you've been bouncing your knees since you sat down. Obviously, Hotch's brother affected you."

I opened my mouth to answer, but Hotch himself interrupted us and announced we had a case. Spencer just kept his eyes on mine for a few more seconds before walking away quickly to the conference room.

- "Looks like pretty boy is jealous,"- Elle teased and stood up too- "I don't know why if he ain't your boyfriend."

- "I know he ain't my boyfriend, and I'm sure he is not jealous. You are all just acting like school girls around a hot guy."- I tried to argue as I stood up and followed them to the conference room.

- "Oh honey, when you see a guy like that, you just can't help it."- Garcia smiled and sighed- "He was the sugar that got me going for the rest of the day."

- "It's only nine am."- JJ added, and Garcia just sighed.

- "That's how good it was."

The case was in Terra Mesa, New Mexico. A clearly angry Hotch announced wheels up in thirty, and we all headed back to our desk to gather our things.

- "Hey, I brought you back your copy of The Illustrated Man"- I walked to Spencer and handed him over his book- "Maybe after the case, we can get a coffee and talk about it."

- "Maybe not"- he grabbed it from my hands and put it on his satchel.

- "Why not?"

- "I don't feel like it."- Spencer avoided looking at me. He just closed his bag and walked away from me.

- "Hey! What did I do?"- I asked him and followed him, but he didn't even look at me.

- "Spencer, I'm talking to you!"

- "And as you can notice, I don't wanna talk to you."

His answer stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless. Spencer got into the elevator and pushed the button to close the door as fast as possible.

He had never acted like that with me. He had never talked to me like that. Shit! He had never been an asshole with me before. I had seen Reid being a jerk with people when he is mad, but he had never been like that with me. And all that just 'cos me, and the girls were a little unprofessional?

Apparently, Spencer was furious with me because during the whole investigation, he kept avoiding me. Of course, it didn't help that Hotch paired me with Reid and Morgan to talk to a young girl who had been abducted from the crime scene.

- "So, pretty girl, I saw you yesterday. Your eyes were shining when you talked to Sean"- Morgan started teasing me the second we got into the SUV.

- "I don't know what you are talking about."- I whispered and looked outside.

- "Oh please, you, Garcia, JJ, even Elle, the four girls were drooling over Hotchner's younger brother."

- "That's not true"- I denied right away- "We were all surprised. I had no idea Hotch had a brother."

And Spencer just snorted at my words.

- "What?"- I turned around and looked at him. He was sitting at the back seat, alone, arms crossed on his chest, avoiding eye contact.

- "Maybe you should stop talking about Hotch's hot brother and focus on the case."- his voice was cold and distant. I tried to read him, but all I could see was anger.

- "Ok, kid."- Morgan chuckled and shook his head - "No need to get all defensive."

- "I'm not defensive. I'm just saying we have to solve a case. People are dead, and you are still rambling about how hot Hotchner's brother is. We are not a fucking gossip show. Enough with it already."

I widened my eyes as I stared at him, bitter and angry. Not really a good combo. Spencer is one passive-aggressive asshole when he is mad, and you don't want to deal with him under those circumstances. Believe me.

But Derek just laughed and continued driving. He winked at me and pretended Spencer hadn't said anything hurtful or even evil. But, to be honest, Morgan looked composed and even amused. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was actually enjoying that awkward ride.

I wish I could tell you that was all Spencer did that day, but no. He actually exceeded himself in the art of being an asshole.

- "We are looking for a cult leader."- Reid started giving the profile to the police department- "Typically men between the age of 25 and 35"- he made a pause and looked at me.

- "What?"- I whispered, thinking maybe he wanted me to continue talking.

- "Nothing. I thought you were going to start giggling or sighing."- Elle and Morgan looked surprised as Gideon frowned, not getting Reid's comment.

- "Over a sociopath underachiever with an extremely abusive childhood?"- I asked him, as I continued describing the profile- "Why would I?"

- "I don't know."- he shrugged and continued walking around the office -"I thought after yesterday, it was going to be your usual behavior around men that age."

- "Reid"- Hotch's voice was cold and severe. Spencer looked at him and turned around to find an empty seat. Aaron continued giving the profile, and I turned to my best friend, enraged. I wasn't going to tolerate that passive-aggressive attitude.

- "Fuck you."- I mouthed and stared straight into his eyes.

Avoiding and ignoring Reid was a challenging task to achieve. Hotch was nice and wise enough to keep us apart for the rest of the day, but that didn't stop him from staring. And his eyes burned my skin each time we were together in the same room.

I made my best effort and avoided looking at him the whole time. But I felt him staring. And though I was honestly mad at him now, a part of me just wondered what on earth was he so upset about?

I found out the whole truth later that night, back at the hotel. I was already in bed, trying to forget about the case, 'cos it had already been solved, and we were supposed to go back home early the following day.

I was alone, 'cos my roommate Elle was in the hotel bar with JJ and Morgan. I didn't feel like going. I just wanted my pajamas and do nothing.

Fine, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with Reid, talking about The Illustrated man, or any other book, drinking coffee, making jokes, laughing.

But he was mad at me, and now I was mad at him too, which meant things weren't going to be smooth between us in a long while. We had only fought once before until that day. It happened when we first became friends, and we argued over some random Star Wars fact. He didn't admit he was wrong, and when I showed him I was right, he got all defensive and refused to talk to me for a whole week.

Of course, this time, it was going to be a hundred times worse.

I debated whether I should or shouldn't call Reid and yell at him when I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, I thought it was Elle, so I dragged my weary body from the bed, arguing I had explicitly told her she had to bring her key when she left the room.

But no. It wasn't Elle. In the hall, looking like shit, I found Doctor Spencer Walter Reid.

It wasn't a good sign the way my heart skipped a beat the second I saw him. It didn't get any better when the two of us just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and I felt my whole body tremble only by his presence. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. I loved him, and it was getting too hard to hide.

- "What are you doing here?"- I made sure my voice was as upset as possible and even made an extra effort to furrow my brows as I stared into his eyes. His look had softened, and you could tell he was nervous. He scratched his hair and fixed his nerdy glasses before speaking.

- "I needed... I wanted... I want to talk to you."- Spencer finally said and sighed, looking at me.

- "Why would I want to talk to you after you humiliated me in front of the whole police department?"

I spat each word and tried to slam the door on his face, but he stopped me before succeeding.

- "Wait, please, (Y/N)"- he pushed the door open and followed me inside the room.

- "Get out, Reid!"- I argued immediately, but he didn't listen. He actually closed the door behind his back and stood behind me. I refused to look at him, 'cos I knew what would happen if I did: I would forgive him too quickly.

- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I know I was an asshole. I didn't mean it. I was completely out of place."

Spencer literally vomited his speech in less than three seconds and stayed wordless and silent afterward. I crossed my arms on my chest and stayed still. I really didn't want to talk to him.

- "I'm sorry"- his voice was now a tiny whisper that somehow got inside my heart, melting the fortress I kept building against him.

- "Why did you do it?"- I asked the most straightforward question, but he didn't answer. Spencer stayed quiet for at least two minutes. So I turned around and faced him. His eyes were red, and he was fighting the tears back.

- "Why did you humiliate me, Spencer?"

- "I didn't mean to."

- "So? I don't care what you meant. You did it anyway. You fucking humiliated me in front of the team and in front of the whole police office, and why? 'Cos you were mad at me for being unprofessional? Excuse me, but I think what you did lacked more professionalism than anything I had ever done."

I knew it was a mistake. I knew I didn't have to look at Spencer while I spoke. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to cry either, but I was already too upset and way too tired, so the tears started falling down my cheeks. And his followed quickly.

- "I'm so sorry,"- he repeated and bit his lips, staring at me.

- "Why did you do it, Spencer?"- I asked him again, 'cos I still didn't know why he had hurt me so deeply.

- "I was wrong..."

- "Why did you do it?"

I asked for the third time, and my eyes got lost in his. Spencer was holding his breath and debating himself. I could almost hear his thoughts, 'cos it was clear he was overthinking everything going on inside his head.

But he didn't say anything. Spencer just wiped off a few tears that rolled down his cheeks and shook his head. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and all I managed to do was to sigh, disappointed and broken-hearted, and walk to the door and open it. I only wanted him to leave, but he didn't even move. He just looked at me, clenching his jaw, fighting the tears back.

- "I did it because I am in love with you."

Spencer whispered in the most anticlimactic way possible. I frowned, confused, as he didn't even move. I stared at his gestures, his face blood-red in a weird mix of embarrassment and anger.

- "I love you so much it's driving me insane, (Y/N). I've been trying to tell you how I feel for weeks, but I just..."- he ran his hands through his hair, openly frustrated with his own way to deal with the situation, as I just stayed still, trying to understand what was going on.

- "I know it was stupid, and I wish I could do it differently, but I didn't know what to do. But then I saw you looking at Sean, and I knew you would never look at me the same way, 'cos I know I'm not..."

There was no bigger force in the universe than the one that moved my body unconsciously against Spencer. I grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips to shut him up. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just did it 'cos I didn't want to listen to his rambling anymore. For once, probably for the very first time ever since we met, I wanted to shut Spencer Reid up. And the best way I could do that was kissing him until my lips felt numb.

I didn't even let him hesitate. He jumped as soon as I touched him, but he didn't reject me at all. Instead, he wide opened his eyes and stared at me as I winked at him, deepening the kiss.

Spencer's hands slowly found their way to my waist and held me closer to him. His lips were soft and warm, moving carefully along with mine, and as he relaxed into the kiss, the better it got.

I had wasted so much time (mostly at work, bored, avoiding paperwork) fantasizing about kissing Spencer. How his lips would feel and taste. If he would make any noise, if he'd be rough or soft... and now there I was, getting all the answers I ever needed.

My heartbeat faster when I opened my eyes and saw him, deep concentrated into the endless kiss. My hands played with his hair, and I felt him hum, pleased with my movements. I couldn't help myself and smiled, not stopping the kiss.

- "What?"- Spencer asked, but his lips didn't move from mine. Neither of us wanted to stop.

- "Nothing,"- I whispered and shook my head softly- "I just like kissing you."

- "I like kissing you too,"- he answered and moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks and held my face. His hands were so big I could feel him covering most of my cheek. He made me feel secure, safe. Loved. All that only from cupping my face.

- "I love you."- Spencer whispered and opened his eyes. I looked at him and sighed, trying to keep myself together, when all I really wanted was to yell and jump and act like a teenager in love.

- "Me too."

That was all I managed to answer, though I knew he deserved better. He deserved to know how much I loved him, how crazy I was over everything he did. Everything he was. But I couldn't tell him that, not at that minute at least. That night I couldn't really speak much because all I wanted to do was to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Spencer Reid until my lips burned.

But he didn't let me fulfill my dream. As soon as he heard me, he stopped the kiss and stayed very, very still.

- "What happened?"- I panicked, I don't know why- "Did I overstep..."

- "You love me?"- he interrupted me, and his eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. His smile was soft and warm as he stared at me, waiting for an answer.

- "I do,"- I murmured and blushed. Was it too late to blush? Maybe, but I couldn't help it. Not when he was looking at me like that. Like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. No. Like I was the only woman on earth for him.

- "I'm so sorry..."

But I really didn't want to listen to his apology. I had already forgiven him. All I wanted was to kiss him again. And again.

I crushed my lips against his, and this time, I felt him smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my waist. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his body as he relaxed a little more, and his fingers started caressing the small on my back.

- "Come here."

I took a few steps back, and he followed, keeping as close to me as possible. Finally, I dragged him to my bed, and he laid by my side. Our legs were intertwined as we melted on that mattress, just kissing.

I honestly never imagined I would kiss Spencer. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it and tasted him (and the moment) in slow motion. He sighed and smiled as his lips and tongue played with mine. One of his hands held my waist as the other played with my hair.

It was heaven. I didn't imagine anything better than being on that bed kissing Spencer Reid. He whispered he loved me again, and I sighed. For a second, it felt I was in a dream.

- "Ok, mama, get out of that.... WHOO!"- Derek, JJ, and Elle stormed into the door and caught Spencer and I kissing on the bed. I felt like a teenager all over again.

- "What the..."- Elle asked was holding the key in her hands, eyes wide opened, in shock.

- "My man!"- Morgan was about to start clapping when JJ grabbed him and Elle's arm.

- "The guys need some privacy. Come on, let's go. You can sleep in my room, Elle"- JJ smiled and closed the door behind her back, but less than a second later, Derek walked in again.

- "Smile to Garcia!"- Derek waved, holding his phone. Spencer closed his eyes and covered his face, embarrassed as I grabbed a pillow and threw it over him.

- "Get the fuck out of my room!"- I shouted, and JJ had to pull Morgan's sleeve to get him out of there. Once the door was closed (again), we waited a few seconds in case Derek tried to interrupt us one more time. But he didn't. Spencer's cheeks were burning red, and he looked so embarrassed it was too sweet. So I leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose.

- "Hi,"- I whispered and smiled. Reid chuckled and moved closer to me, reaching my lips.

- "Hi."- I sighed, strangely relieved to feel his lips on mine again. I was like my body had already gotten used to kissing him and wanted to do nothing else from that moment on.

- "Hi,"- I repeated and smiled.

- "Hi,"- Reid said again and wrapped his arms around me, moving me until I was sitting on his lap. Life was perfect.

- "I'm so glad Hotch's brother came to visit. He should come more often,"- I murmured and giggled. Spencer frowned and shook his head.

- "I think we are good."- he answered and narrowed his eyes.

- "If he hadn't come, you wouldn't have gotten so jealous, and we wouldn't be kissing right now."- I added, and rubbed his lips with mines, just to make a point. Spencer smiled and fully kissed me.

- "I will send him a muffin basket to George town, then."

- "That's very thoughtful. I love that about you."

- "I love everything about you,"- Spencer whispered and sighed, staring into my eyes.

- "Does this mean we are dating?"- I had to ask. Spencer wide opened his eyes and didn't move for a few seconds -"I'm just asking 'cos you said you loved m and I love you, and if you love and I love you, I'm pretty sure dating would the logical thing to do. But if you don't want to, I would totally understand. I mean, maybe I am assuming..."- Spencer's lips against mine ended with my senseless rambling, and he chuckled into the kiss.

- "What?"- I asked him but didn't move my lips from his. Already that might have become my favorite way to talk to him.

- "You are adorable when you ramble."

- "Shut up"- and Spencer smiled

- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- he simply asked and rested his forehead against mine as he stared at me. I smiled and sighed, pretending to be considering my options. I didn't have any. I wanted to be his.

- "Yes,"- I whispered and kissed him one more time- "I would love to, just promise me you will never be a passive-aggressive jerk with me."

- "Never"- Spencer kissed me, and his hands held me tighter- "I'm so sorry."

- "Just kiss me a few more times so I can properly forgive you"- Reid smiled and crushed his lips against mines.

- "Anything for you."

**

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @all-tings-diego

[pynkhues]

So now that we know Kendall and Rava got married quite young (based on Roman's comment in 3x04 that Kendall's bachelor party was 15 years ago, meaning he was 24 or 25 when he got married) do you have any thoughts on how that might have affected Kendall and Stewy's relationship?

Yeah! It was great to get confirmation of that! I already figured they'd gotten married fairly young given Sophie and Iverson are both tweens as opposed to little kids. I think we're supposed to understand they've been separated for a while at the start of s1 too? I'd be curious as to what the timeline is for that specifically, because they imply I think that Rava left Kendall before he got sober, and he and Logan talk specifically about rehab as three years before the start of s1.

Three years isn't that long to be separated pre-divorce though either, especially if somone's like Kendall and doesn't really want to break up. My parents were separated for seven years before they got divorced, and a good friend of mine has been separated for eighteen months already without any plans to actually file yet.

It could be one of the things that was changed though post-pilot too? Shiv's letter in 3.03 certainly made it seem like Kendall's been in rehab a number of times instead of just the one big stint that seemed infered in Logan's dialogue in 1.01, and we got confirmation from both Roman and Connor that the letter was accurate after all.

That's all an aside though, haha.

Your question! Yeah! We know Kendall and Stewy went to both Buckley and Harvard together, and I imagine they both have their MBA's too, so I feel like they had to have been pretty entwined still when Rava entered the picture. I actually headcanon that Stewy introduced them, haha, especially given he's the one deployed by someone to ask Kendall if he and Rava are really separated in 1.03.

I tend to headcanon it as one of those complicated things where Stewy and Kendall had never really qualified what their hooking up meant or what their relationship was, and that it was probably always an unspoken thing that Kendall would be finding a woman his dad approved of and marrying her and that that would be that. It's the sort of thing I don't think Stewy probably cared that much about while they were both sleeping with other people and Kendall was getting way too intense about girls who were never going to pass the Logan Roy test, but I think things were different with Rava too.

I think Kendall really fell in love with her, and her him, and I think it probably stung Stewy, despite himself. Like - - he just figured they had more time than this, right? Who's dreaming of settling down with the chick you meet when you're 21? 22? But Rava's smart and beautiful and maybe Stewy wouldn't care if it didn't start to become apparent that Kendall was - - y'know, telling her stuff. Stuff he's never told anyone except Stewy, and maybe Stewy tried to create some distance, but Kendall latched on in that way he does whenever he feels someone trying to pull away, so maybe Stewy fucked him instead, and okay, that was fine, it was, until Kendall took Rava back to meet Logan, and the stamp of approval was clear even if Rava came back pissed off, and it was only after that that Kendall told him they couldn't anymore. Not now that Rava was the One.

And they're just so young still, and it doesn't matter, because Stewy's not exactly short on options, and it's better Kendall ends up with someone Stewy likes rather than some of the other girls Stewy's been forced to endure the company of, and things are good. They are, at least for a minute, but Kendall doesn't know how to be happy, and Stewy knows when he's self-sabotaging, but he's half-hearted in pushing him back to Rava because there's something to it. Something to the way being Kendall's person again feeds a part of him he didn't realise was still hungry, and besides, they're still young, right?

They're supposed to be having fun.

Stewy always knows how to help Kendall have fun.

(Right up until he doesn't).

[highflyerwings]

As I'm rewatching My Name I kind of feel like Choi Mujin doesn't know how to express his feelings. Like I'm low-key sure he never told Donghoon how he's his best friend and brother and he never said anything similar to Taeju or Jiwoo(people he obviously cared about). If only he could maybe things would be better, at least he wouldn't feel that lonely, me thinks

I definitely would agree with that. It's just so obvious that Mujin held people at arms length after Donghoon, and while it seemed like he was a little more emotionally connected before the betrayal, I can't imagine he would have been any more expressive with his emotions.

I think it's pretty obvious Mujin was stuck in his own head most of the time, just based on his story about tailing Donghoon to see where he was running off to all the time. Like it's obvious he never just sat down and talked to him about any of it. He just had his suspicions and ran with it, and then came to his own conclusions about what he saw which suited his purpose.

Mujin had his own love language with people. The simple act of his loyalty meant he loved you, and he didn't think he needed to actually say anything. So he never told Donghoon he loved him (or was in love with him), he never told Donghoon he was his best friend, he never told Taeju what he meant to him, he never even told Jiwoo the specifics of his plan for her escape (which was the biggest sign of his affection for her, in my opinion). Mujin got that house on the beach for her, kept the picture of it filed away in secret, and he never told her any of this shit. Then when she betrayed him, he burned the picture alone in his tower like it mattered to anyone but him. He expected her, and everyone else, to just know how much he cared based on his actions. But even his actions he held close to his chest, or kept hidden in private completely, so how was anyone to know?

Maybe it was the lifestyle. Maybe Mujin thought he had to be as emotionless as possible to be taken seriously, and be feared as much as was necessary to ensure loyalty. I don't think Mujin ruled by fear, but he needed people to take him seriously, and hiding his emotions may have been the only way he thought that could work. He always seemed pretty stoic with the other men. Maybe laid back, and casual for the most part, but he wasn't out there goofing off with them and treating them all like they were buddies. He was the boss, and he acted the part.

Unfortunately I think he forgot he was allowed to let down his defenses with certain people. Even with Donghoon. And if he really was in love with Donghoon, he would have likely tightened his defenses even more. If he thought there was even the slightest possibility that Donghoon's reaction to his attraction would have been negative, Mujin would have played down his emotions just to protect himself.

I don't know. Mujin is just terribly sad, and a lot of it is his own fault, but some of it is just a natural emotional disconnect. Not everyone is good at expressing emotions, or even acknowledging those emotions within themselves, and it can end up hurting (and hurting other people) in a way you never meant for it to. I don't think Mujin ever meant to hurt Taeju, or push him away in the way that he did, but it was a defense mechanism. And I can hold his own stubbornness against him, and say "he should have just communicated with people and none of this would have happened" until I'm blue in the face, but that's so much easier said than done. The truth is, things would have been very different if he'd just said things to people. If he was just honest with them. But I truly can't hold it against him for not being able to do that. Because sometimes you just can't.

[fangirlings-things]

The Border Control Project [Part. 1]

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

Fandom: Extraction

Pairing: Tyler Rake x female reader

Summary: you're Tyler's next mission and turns out, you need him more than you want to

Word count: 1.4K

Warnings: curse words, mentions of violence and kidnapping

Based on this imagine

Gif credit: @thoresque

A/N: let me know if you guys want a part 2 or to be tagged like @posiemax asked to (it was sweet, thank youuu). I have many ideas to this series, so let me know what you think!!

Part. 2

Theme song: Shameless, Camila Cabello

Right now I'm shameless

Screaming my lungs out for you

Not afraid to face it

I need you more than I want to

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

It had been what? Two, maybe three days?

You had lost track of time. After so much time in the dark, it happens. Your mind just washes away and it seems like you're floating in space, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. 

The blindfold in your eyes kept the light away and the restrains in your arms, made your whole body ache. The matress under you was actually soft, but even fluffy clouds could feel like a stone after being kept in the same position for so long. 

Your throat was dry and hurt because of how you had screamed. Screams that were muffled by the gag you had in your mouth. 

Every single spot those men had touched burned like a small fire and threatened to explode you. You were pretty sure you had marks all over. They hadn't been gentle when kidnapping you from the middle of the bloody street. 

You was tired, scared and wanted to leave. Go back to your life. But you knew you couldn't. There was no getting out of there. 

Taking a deep breath you tried to steady your heavy breathing, moving your hands against the restrains, to get maybe just a little more comfortable. Just a little. 

That, was all you could do.

• ───━━━━─ ● ─━━━━─── •

"Something new is up?"

That was the question Tyler had made when he got a call from Nik. It was unexpected, surprising. After what happened in Bangladesh many months ago, he had done a few other jobs, but none of them with her. Now, though, she seemed pretty determined to get him on board of whatever was happening. It intrigued him, made him frown while holding the phone against his left ear. 

He had been laying low since his last mission, the elimination of a target that he completed successfully in Greece. That mission had been fast, too easy. Since that, he had been wasting all the money he got in alcohol and cigarettes. Living each day with the usual boredom of loneliness and headache due to the all the booze. The opportunity to get into some action and do something useful, sounded really good. Truth was, the idea of being fired at excited him, as twisted as it was. 

That and all the cash that Nik said was at stake made him get into a plane two days later and land on Guadalajara, Mexico, where Nik had told them to meet. Now he found himself in the back of a rented apartment in a simple building, located in a poor part of the city. Description was a thing Nik valued a lot, and one of the things that made her so good at her job. The room was filled with people he didn't really know, although some of those faces were familiar from previous jobs. Over tables and armchairs ultimate technology they frequently used on missions had been gathered up, just waiting to be used when the operation began. 

"Listen up people, let's begin" Nik said out loud, bringing all the attention to herself as everyone instantly stopped talking by hearing her voice. She was a natural leader, no doubt about that. Pressing a single button on the control of the projector that had been installed hours before, she made a photo show up there for everyone to see. 

It was the image of a twenty year old girl. She was smiling to the camera as someone took a picture of her and the park she was in. She looked calm, happy. If her image was being shown there though, Tyler knew that something really bad had probably happened to that girl. 

"Her name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N)" Nik said, after taking a step to the side to give everyone on the room a good view of the girl's face. "Her father is a US senator who's been a big name on the Congress for almost ten years" someone whistled, and others nodded in agreement. With only that being said, they already knew it would be a great case to work on. "Four days ago, she was kidnapped here in Guadalajara" she pressed the button again on the control, and a video started playing on the projector. 

It was a security footage obviously, due to the black and white image and low resolution. In it the girl was walking on the street camly, carrying a backpack and wearing headphones. It was late at night, the corner of the footage marked 21:37. She was alone, and there was no one else on the street. That was the perfect opportunity for a kidnapping, Tyler thought to himself, and the response to that came seconds later. 

A van approached the girl suddenly, apparently coming out of nowhere. Stopped by her side and before she could even do anything, the back door was opened and three masked men stormed upon her. She tried to run, but they had no trouble in grabbing her violently by her arms and legs and throw her on the inside of the van, leaving behind only her now destroyed phone. The whole thing happened in less than twenty seconds. No one noticed a thing, no one saw anything. That had been extremely well planned. 

"Do we know who they are?" a guy with glasses Tyler had never seen before asked, analyzing with full attention the video that started playing again in replay. 

"Negative. We couldn't get anything from the security videos and the family doesn't know specifically who could be behind it, but five hours later the Senator recieved a call" as Nik pressed the button again, an audio file started to roll and filled everyone's ears. 

Senator (Y/L/N), we have your lovely daughter. If you don't drop the Border Control Project on the presentation day, she dies. 

And then the robotic adapted voice was gone. That was it. Short, harsh and objective.

"What's the Border Control Project?" Tyler was the one who made the question, before anyone else did the same. With his arms crossed over his chest, his mind was working fast in taking in all the information he was receiving. He knew he would need them in the future. 

"A project created by Senator (Y/L/N) to expand the police activity in the mexican-american border. If this project is approved on the mentioned presentation day, trafficking rotes will be affected, illegal transportations will be extremely lowered" Nik explained, dropping the control on the nearest table with a sight. "Dealers, politicians, traffickers, a lot of people could be behind it"

"So our only approach is to go after the girl herself" Tyler stated firmly, and the others agreed. 

"Yes, we rescue her. And possibly in the meantime, figure out who did this. Senator said he will pay three times more if we do" some of the team members started clapping and Nik rolled her eyes, but had a smile on her lips. They were mercenarys, money was their greatest worry and desire. 

"What was she doing in Mexico?" a middle aged woman with blond straight hair that was in the other end of the room across the australian, was the next one to make a question. 

"She got a six month transfer to the local University. Student exchange happens at least twice a year between Mexico and the United States" Nik answered and then crossed her own arms over her chest. "We start the operation within two days. Tyler will do the field work, were going to give him all the support he needs. Meanwhile, we prepare yourselves. Got it?"

Everyone agreed and started to go to work, opening computers and printing files. Tyler didn't move, just looked around in complete silence. Nik was the one who approached him. 

"You're good with this?" she asked, inspecting his features for any sign of denial. 

He nodded, averting his eyes back to the projector where someone had again projected the picture of the girl smiling. Looking deeply into her eyes, Tyler sighted. 

"I'm gonna need a whole file on her, anything you can find. When I get to her, I have to know or have something that will make her trust me"

He had no doubt. He would find her. 

[hunflowers]

Mythology (II)

Word Count: 6.5k

Requested? Not exactly, but you always can here :)

A/N: Thank you all for being so patient! I’ve decided I’m going to extend the series into another part so I split up this chapter a little bit so it wouldn’t be too long, and so I wouldn’t have to cram so much into one chapter. There’s more Harry in this one so I hope you enjoy! Also, if you like what you read (or if you didn’t) send me some feedback, it really helps me out :) *nose boops*

tag list: @thicksniall @meetmeinfleetwood @afire-hes @pradaxstyles @c-h-e-r-r-y-y @gotmyhandonmyheart @burberryharold @harrymoncheri

Waking up in a foreign bed the next day, solidified this new reality for Calista.

One trait about her is that she finds it very difficult to sleep in a bed that isn’t her own, so it was actually a miracle she could fall asleep so easily the night before. Because she bounced around a lot as a child from home to home, not having one single bed to call her own was a reason for her exhausting insomnia. More proof that her move away from the states had been good on her, is that her illness had lessened its severity when she finally could call a place home. Most of the times when it occurs nowadays is when she’s over stressed about something. Yet, the previous night had been one of her most peaceful slumbers.

Her and Trinity had stayed in the cafeteria for a while after their encounter with Wren, the thin ice they had been walking on dissipating into a more comfortable area where they didn’t feel this unbearable tension surrounding them. Niall and Harry had helped with this easy atmosphere, all of them informing Calista the best they could before she would talk to Mr. Cirillo the next day.

Harry didn’t stick around too long though, hopping around between tables and people before disappearing completely for the night. Something about him was so intriguing, and even if she had only spoken to him for a maximum of twenty minutes, Calista could say she had the tiniest crush on him. It was ridiculous to think such a thing, because she obviously hardly knows him, but there was something about him.

Maybe because he genuinely seemed interested in her, something not a lot of males, or people in general, do.

When she first came to Cambridge there was one boy who liked her, resulting in a relationship of almost a year, but of course he turned out to be a bit of a dickhead, that mainly cared for himself and disregarded her in so many ways. But, Harry didn’t seem like the type; He actually seemed genuine. Of course she doesn’t want to get her hopes too high up, but that doesn’t stop the physical attraction she has towards him.

She was directed to go to Mr. Cirillo’s office early that morning, of course getting lost on the way there, shamefully asking two different people for directions. She should’ve been given some sort of map to guide her because this place was nothing short of humongous.

When she finally came across the plaque that read Headmaster Cirillo, she took a deep breath and knocked softly on the door, a response immediately voicing on the other side of the door. Pushing the white wood open, she poked her head in and saw Mr. Cirillo at his desk. He removed his one lens glasses from his face, a soft smile on his lips as he gestured to the seat across from him, encouraging her to sit on the patent leather

“Good morning, Calista. Please, have a seat,” the older man… cyclops greets her, hands clasped together on the desk in an authoritative manner. “Sleep well?” 

“Yes, thank you,” she answered, for some reason completely nervous. It was sort of like when she would be called to the principal’s office when she was younger because she would miss classes or the one time she got into a fight and broke the girl’s nose. In her defense, the girl started it, and she doesn’t even really remember where the strength came from to actually break the girl’s nose.

Something now tells her it has to do with her ancestry. If that’s even possible. But, at this rate, anything is possible as she sits across from a cyclops, and is a demigod herself.

“Good, well, then I’ll get started. I know you’re wondering why it took so long for you to… know about everything and I’m here to answer any questions you have to the best of my abilities. I’d rather you ask me anything and we’ll go on from there.”

Calista nodded along, sweat in her palms developing, causing her to casually sit her thighs down on top of her hands. So many questions sprinted through her mind, her not knowing which to ask first. “I mean… I don't know, why did it take so long? I spoke to people last night and they’ve all been here for years and I guess I just want to know why I wasn’t told sooner.”

Mr. Cirillo nodded his head, “That was per your mother’s request. She was adamant on you not risking your life being a part of this society of ours.”

“But why? It hardly seems fair that I’m being kept in the dark,” she scoffed back, leaning back against the black leather, her hands coming up to grip the arms of the chair.

“I agree. But, in her defense, your mother had very good reasoning to make the decision she did. Our life, this existence of ours, is a complete mystery to the outside world,” he stood up, walking over to the grand window behind him. “People have been trying for years upon years to dig up the truth. There’s no telling what kind of acts will be made against us if they ever find us, so over the years, we’ve been preparing for any sort of war that could affect us.”

Walking over to one of the many filing cabinets that lined one wall of the office, he opened one of the drawers that seemed to be labeled Athena, skimming through the multiple manila folders before pulling a specific one out, closing the metal cabinet shut behind him. He sat back down in his own chair, keeping the folder closed on the desk before he continued his explanations. “We’ve had multiple threats over the years, claiming our secret would be revealed to the world. If the world were to ever find out, we could be executed and wiped off the face of the earth, or maybe held captive for the enjoyment of ignorant people. It would leave the gods no choice but to wreak havoc on the planet.

“One night before you were born, there was a threat against us, and your half-brother, Mikael, was sent to settle the situation. Unfortunately that night he was killed, and your mother took it very personally as any mother would. Just a couple weeks later you were born, and she didn’t want another child of hers to live their life with risk or in secrecy. She wanted you to have a so-called normal upbringing,” he finished, opening the folder that had been kept shut, turning it to face her direction. A small picture of a smiling young man was clipped to the corner of a page, the name Mikael printed on the tab.

Calista felt a sudden wave of sadness flush through her at the mention of a half-brother, seeing his smiling face that she never got the chance to greet. As she looked over the few papers in this folder briefly, she learned that her brother used to be of high status here, ranked as General Combatant along with his multiple skills and achievements. She swallowed as she never imagined herself achieving such superiority amongst everyone here, especially with her late start.

She only grew more frustrated as she hastily closed the folder, placing it back down on the table. “A normal upbringing? Do you know the kind of life I’ve lived? It was anything but normal. I’m sure I would’ve had a better chance at normal here, then anywhere else,” she rolled her eyes, her jaw clenching as tears threatened her waterline.

Normal is all she wanted. A normal family, with normal friends, and a normal life. Instead she’s practically been to Hell and back, and the scars imprinted in her brain and on her skin is the evidence of that. She understands her mother’s decision, because it must be hard losing a child and running the risk of losing another, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Calista has been dealt the shittiest cards, and knowing she was cheated out of a better hand twists her heart and constricts her lungs.

Standing again from his chair, Mr. Cirillo walks over to the door of his office, opening it and looking back to the depressive demigod, “Let’s go for a walk.” Calista says nothing as she follows him, eyes focused to her shoes as her mind swirls with countless thoughts of never being good enough. When she looked up to look at the multiple paintings and portraits lining the walls, her stomach sank further as she saw what could’ve been her life.

She could be grateful for knowing now rather than never, but since she found out now when her life was getting better, it only hurt her more. If she found out before, she would’ve seen it as a saving grace, but now it only seemed like a burden.

They made their way outside to the courtyard, the building guarding the blooming flowers and small ponds filled with various fish. A few others were scattered around, sitting at benches or small tables and talking amongst themselves, not paying any attention to Calista and Mr. Cirillo. 

Their walk was at a slow pace, silence surrounding them except for the smaller chatter from the other people, the beauty of the sun beaming down on the spacious greenery engulfing their minds. She understands why he wanted to take a walk, because breathing in fresh air helped cool her mind just long enough for her to regain her somewhat stable composure. 

“I know your life was hard,” he began again, looking down at the Calista, his hands tucking into the pockets of his slacks. “And I deeply apologize for everything you’ve been put through, I wish there was something I could’ve done.”

Calista licked her chapped lips, pursing them as she came up with something to say back, because in all honesty an apology means nothing coming from him. The real apology she wants is from Athena, or even her fucking father. “Why now? Why not follow her rules and keep me away?”

“Well, there was another threat against our livelihood. An insider that has anonymously threatened to tell anyone and everyone willing to listen. When I told the gods, your mother, Athena, advised it was time to… She said you’d be a great leader like your brother once was,” he smiled softly, eyeing her reaction as she looked at the olive tree, sitting in the center of the courtyard.

“I’m not a leader,” she responded softly, taking her gaze off of the plant and back down to the laces of her boots. “From what I saw, Mikael was an honorable person, and I’m far from that.”

“And from what I’ve gathered, is that despite the horrible schools you went to and the awful people you’ve met along the way, you were still one of the highest in your class and was awarded a full ride scholarship to Cambridge. Even with setbacks, you pushed through with determination. I’d say that’s pretty honorable,” he quipped back, sitting down on the bench that was beneath the giant tree.

All she really felt at this point was confusion. She wants to be able to call this place her home, and maybe even call these people her family, but they’ve been doing fine for years without her, she just doesn’t understand why all of a sudden it was necessary to tell her. Getting an A on a test was a whole different game compared to being a leader in a war. Aside from breaking a girl’s nose, she had no ability to fight or any sort of strategy at all to be able to hold her own. Her being involved felt more of a burden to everyone else, and she’d probably get herself killed almost immediately.

“I just don’t see how I’m of any use. I don’t have experience like Trinity or Wren, or anybody here. I’ll probably end up running around like a headless chicken.”

He laughed at the small joke, raising his hand up to squeeze her shoulder. “Like I said, with determination you’ll push through.”

The reminder of Trinity telling her to surpass Wren from last night came to mind, a little ounce of this determination sparking through her, but it was quickly diminished as she thought of the actual process of conquering that. She wants to be the underdog like in all of those movies she’s watched that beats the bully in the end, but those are movies, and as much as this doesn’t feel like real life, it is and that’s not how everything works. She can try, but that doesn’t mean she’ll be successful and if she’s not successful she’s afraid she’ll be a disappointment and then that disappointment feeds into her anxiety of never being wanted by anyone and it’s this constant cycle in her beaten and bruised brain.

On the other hand, she can’t just tell Mr. Cirillo no, because then she’ll probably end up disappointing him and sending herself into a subcycle of unwarranted thoughts. She wishes everything right now had a clean cut answer as to what she should do, but she’s stuck in her thoughts, feeling as if she’s being pulled down by rapid quicksand, not giving herself enough time to mull over everything properly.

Looking up through the leaves of the olive tree, admiring the sun that peaked through the greenery above her, coating her face in a dull glow, Calista said one last thing to Mr. Cirillo before they would go on their separate ways as she would take time to think about everything alone.

“Do I ever get to meet her?”

Mr. Cirillo sighed, a look of solemn etching across his features. That was her answer alone, but she still acknowledged the words that tumbled out of his mouth. “It’s a rarity that they make an appearance.”

Calista nodded, getting up off the bench and ready to make her way back inside and hopefully find the way back to her room. Mr. Cirillo reached for her wrist, holding her in her place for one more moment, “But she’s always looking after you, Calista.”

And with that, she walked away, holding back her tears until she collapsed on the sheets of her bed.

❊ ❊

Hours had passed since her meeting with Mr. Cirillo, and she had made no progress towards processing everything that’s been relayed to her. She tried falling asleep to dull the headache beating through her skull, to give herself a moment to breathe before she would fully understand everything at hand. 

Trinity had offered her support, but Calista felt it was better to be alone at this time, just so she would have no distractions and so she could wallow in her own thoughts. And while at first being alone seemed to help, after a while, she was in need to vent and discuss all of the problems soaring through her head to her best friend.

Thing is, her problem just lies in the fact that everything had been kept secret from her for so long. Who’s to say this all would’ve been revealed to her if there hadn’t been this apparent threat? Would her best friend have continued to lie to her for the rest of their lives? 

Why should she maybe put her life at risk for people that she hardly even knows?

Everything just relates back to her anxiety over never being good enough for anyone, which would prove why she’s lived such an awful life considering she wasn’t good enough to be her rightful title of demigod. She understands it was done to protect her wellbeing, she just wishes that’s the way her brain would take it. Instead, she’s thinking the worst because that’s how she was raised; Expecting the worst.

When Trin finally came back to the room, she could tell something was off with Calista as she saw her friend in the same curled up position on her bed since she left. “Lis, everything okay?”

First there was no response or any sort of movement, then she heard the small whimpers leaving the girl’s lips, and immediately she was crawling into her bed, cradling her to her chest, doing her best to help ease her pain.

“I just wish I could shut my brain off for one minute,” she cried, clutching onto her friend’s hand that had wrapped around her front.

“What’s going on inside that head of yours?” Trin murmured, pushing the loose curls from her friend's face and behind her ear. 

Calista calmed herself for a moment, rolling over to face Trin, eyes red and cheeks blotchy as she sniffled, bottom lip quivering slightly. “I-I want to see the good in this, but all I can think a-about is how I wasn’t good enough from the start and how I’m not good enough now.”

“What’re you talking about? What did you talk about with Mr. Cirillo?”

Calista relayed everything she was told to Trinity, even delving into the topics that are her insecurities just so her friend can understand a little more about what’s going on inside this head of hers. She had a chance at a family, and friends, and people who related to her, but that was stripped away from her. She has a life she never knew existed and she has no guide book to understand how to go about it all, not to mention it’s a life that isn’t exactly supposed to exist at all. 

Is she meant to live up to her past brother’s legacy? If she doesn't, is she just going to be forgotten about? 

If her mother is always looking after her, how could she let her daughter go through everything she has? 

So many questions that no one has an answer to, and it’s so exhausting.

Trinity didn’t interrupt once, letting her best friend vent to her as she sat patiently. She was once where Calista was, but of course she doesn’t know how she’d exactly take it all in if she had found out so much later in life. As an adolescent, it was so cool finding out her heritage, knowing she was meant for better than just her stuck up dad and stepmom. And she knows how Calista is with trusting people and their intentions, that’s why it took her awhile to warm up to her. So she completely understands her worries about everything too good to be true considering her past.

Being here, though, at Mythology, is where she belongs. And Trinity will do her very best to try and convince her so. When they first met, and Calista told her that she was studying the classics, she knew it was fate and that her role here as Athena’s daughter is meant to be.

And one way to help guide her friend is through the bonfire this night. The annual bonfire before the announcements of the Leaderships. Trinity is convinced the bonfire will help persuade Calista into staying here, because once she spends one night with all of these people that come to be family, she won’t ever want to leave again.

Or, so she wishes.

❊ ❊

“I’m not so sure about this, Trin.”

There was a lot of convincing in order to get Calista to leave their room for the bonfire. After Trin sat and listened to her, she felt a little better getting everything off of her chest that’s been setting up camp. Though, Calista could feel their friendship going down a more comfortable path toward recovery as she expressed her concerns.

She’s not exactly warmed up to everything yet, but the more she vents and talks to Trin who went through a not exact but similar process with being thrown into this new lifestyle, Calista can feel herself wanting to get to know this part of her life a little more.

She’s still struggling with trusting all of these people, but that’s where the bonfire comes in and why Trin believes it’ll help her. As an observant best friend, she saw the way Calista was talking to Harry and even Niall, as if they were her friends she had known for years. Granted she has known Niall for some time, but not in the way she’s known Trin. And Harry she’s known for all of twenty minutes, yet she was laughing and smiling as if she knew him since they were children.

If the bonfire can bring out more of that, then Calista will surely want to stay and be around at least for a little while longer.

Though, for Calista it felt a little like the first day of school as she scrounged through her suitcase to find something suitable to wear. It wasn’t the hottest night yet it wasn’t exactly cold, so really that left her at square one. And Trin wasn’t any help as she sat on her phone waiting for her friend to make a decision. But, Calista just followed suit with her and put on a sweatshirt and shorts along with a pair of her worn down sneakers. It also didn’t help that her ruthless curly hair was like a nest sitting on her scalp. Her best bet was a semi decent ponytail that at least kept her hair out of her face.

Trinity finally looked up from her phone, “It’s gonna be fun. It’s basically tradition, and you can’t skip tradition.”

“It’s not exactly my tradition though, so maybe I’ll just pass.”

With a roll of her eyes, Trinity stood up from her bed and grabbed onto her friend’s wrist and led her out of their room. “Well, let’s make it your tradition then.”

They both eventually wound up outside and in the large field that expanded for acres of land, the moon glistening over them as they walked further until they reached multiple people laughing and dancing and talking as a fairly big fire sat between them all.

Immediately, Calista’s eyes were drawn to the force that is Harry as a guitar sat on his lip as he sang some song, joking around with the people around him. Niall was over with them too, and once he spotted them, he ran over to hug the both of them before encouraging them to join the little circle of people.

“Everyone, this is Calista,” Niall introduced as he sat back in his previous seat. Unsurprising, there was a single seat open next to him that was clearly meant for Trin, which she so graciously sat in, leaving Calista to stand alone, full of awkwardness.

The few people greeted her with a wave, insistent she sit down with them. A little reluctantly, she sat between two people she had yet to meet, but would come to know their names are Sarah and Mitch.

Even though she was in a circle of people that all seemed to be like good people, it was one of those moments she felt so alone. She’s never really known how to bond with new people because she hardly ever purposely tries to talk to them, and now seems like a good time to break out of her bubble a little, but she’s afraid of the pending rejection from the lot.

They all seem really nice, yet her brain craved the worst of people so she doesn’t have to get hurt later on.

Looking around at everyone else that was outside of this little circle, it was hard not to notice Damien and Wren at the center of everyone else’s attention, doing whatever the hell it is that they’re doing. When Wren had turned her head slightly and made eye contact with Calista, she smirked in her usual cynical manner, which Calista just scoffed at, turning back around to the group with her.

When turning back around, she made direct eye contact with Harry, who was listening to whatever Niall was talking about, yet didn’t seem like he was paying attention as he kept his attention on Calista. She felt her cheeks heat up and most likely redden under his gaze before she broke the contact and looked to her hands.

Getting up from her spot abruptly, she announced she was getting any kind of drink that was over in the coolers, offering to anyone who wanted but they all declined. Though when she walked over to the red and blue coolers, one labeled water and the other labeled alcohol, she felt a presence following her.

And then Harry stood next to her, sans guitar now.

“Still adjusting?” He asked, reaching into the water cooler and pulling out a fresh and cool bottle, one for him and one for her since he saw her reaching for one.

Cal nodded, softly laughing at the question. “That’s an understatement.”

There was a sudden silence over them, neither of them talking for a brief moment but listening to the chatter of everyone else, or the crackle of the bonfire, or the hum of music that was floating into the night sky. When she finally gained the courage to look up and meet his eyes, she saw him already looking at her, entranced by her shy personality yet strong attitude. “I didn’t know until I was seventeen. M’mum kept it from me. Said it was for my own good or summat, but I was pissed. Felt like m’whole life was a lie. Gets easier though, trust me.”

She was taken aback at the sudden confession, her lips parting slightly as she looked at him with slight confusion. Out of everything that could’ve come out of his mouth, she really wasn’t expecting that, because it also felt like he somehow knew what was going on inside of her mind.

“How long till it starts getting easier?” she questions, taking a sip of her water, appreciating it’s cool texture sliding down her throat.

He nods, sitting down on a chair that was outside of the little group from before, an open seat next to him that she’s meant to sit on. “We all handle shit differently so m’not sure, but sometimes even now I have to take a step back and think about everything and I’ve been here for six years.”

Before Calista has a chance to ask him something else, a different voice butts in. The look on Harry’s face as he saw who was approaching them only solidified that she knew who it was.

“Aw, have we got a pair of little lovebirds already?”

Calista didn’t bother to look to her right as Wren stood tall and proud, looming over the two of them like a cloud, ready to rain down on them. The fire lit up her face in such a way that looking up at her made her seem nearly demonic, and if she wasn’t already in a bad mood, she would’ve laughed at the irony. 

A faux smile stretched across her thin lips as she stood with her arms crossed, drink in her hand as she looked between the demigods. “Can’t even let the poor girl settle in for a day before you’re trying to jump her bones.”

“Fuck right off, Wren,” Harry sneered back, getting up from his seat to tower over the shorter girl.

This is when Damien decided to step up, placing himself between his girlfriend and his enemy, glaring at Harry with his dark eyes, jaw clenched so hard his teeth were probably close to shattering. Calista was a little nervous as the air around them grew tense, though luckily it didn’t seem like anyone else was paying attention to this little quarrel. Harry didn’t seem fazed in the slightest by the beefcake in front of him, an indifferent facial expression locked on his features.

“What?” Harry asks, tilting his head slightly, “She’s just jealous m’not talking to her.”

Damien goes to shove Harry instantly, but just as fast, Harry deflects his aggression and instead is able to push Damien back, causing him to trip over the leg of a chair behind him. Calista rolls her lips together to avoid bursting out into a fit of laughter, completely in awe of how Harry turned the situation around.

Guess Trinity and Niall were right when they said Damien sucks ass.

Wren didn’t even seem surprised at the turn of events. “Jealous? Oh, please, don’t think so highly of yourself.”

Calista looked over to Trin and saw how she was standing up, looking curious as to what was going on with the four. They made eye contact and spoke without any words, both of them concluding they had no idea what was going on.

“I just came over to wish her luck in Leaderships. Hope she doesn’t get herself killed and all that,” she conceded, her hands coming up in defense. Though, her confession wielded a taunting undertone that was clear as day to Calista, because all her life she’s dealt with people and their fake spouts of truth just so they seemed like the good guys.

This urged Calista to scoff, “Bullshit.”

Wren’s head snapped towards the new girl, eyes squinting a little as she skimmed over her sitting stature. “Excuse me?”

Throughout the course of this whole day, Calista had been wary about her place here, and whether or not she wanted to stick around or call it a day and go back to her normal. The idea of these Leaderships was practically nauseating to think about, and she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to take part in them. But hearing this girl talk about them, pushes her to stay and just kick her ass into next year. She’s not all that confident that she’ll be able to do so, but like Mr. Cirillo said, the determination will push her through.

“What’re you wishing me luck for? Wishing me luck insinuates me coming out on top, and we all know you want to keep your status, so I call bullshit,” she shrugs in response, unscrewing the cap to her bottle and taking another sip. From the distance, Calista could hear Trin cheer her on.

“Thanks though. Although, I think he,” she points to Damien who is only just now getting up from the floor, “needs your luck more than I do.” Wren stared in shock and anger, fists clenching and unclenching as her one eye twitched before she eventually huffed and stormed off, leaving Damien to catch up to her.

Calista waved goodbye, letting out a breath of air she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. There’s something about Wren that brings out this confidence in her, that if she wasn’t such a bitch, she’d want to thank her. Again, aside from that one girl’s nose she broke, she never really stood up for herself or for others.

So, maybe this whole Greek life was actually going to do some good for her in the end.

❊ ❊

Another night, another extremely restful sleep.

Though, another day, another rendition of unwarranted anxiety.

Sleeping through one more night, Calista had come to the decision that she was going to stay. After everything that had happened with Wren at the bonfire, the night went a lot more peaceful, and Cal understood what Trinity meant when she said the bonfire was going to help. 

Getting to know these people and hearing all of these stories of their arrival into this life, and the stories since they’ve been here, helped ease a lot of the tension stirring around in her brain. It sparked an interest to make her own memories and the hope that maybe these people aren’t so bad like her thoughts are trying to make her believe.

After she had woken up, Calista headed to Mr. Cirillo’s office again to announce the news, stating that she’ll regret leaving more than staying and hating it.

Plus, how bad could it actually be?

Well, the answer to that is actually pretty bad.

Not exactly in a bad way, but she never would’ve expected all the exhausting effort she was going to have to put in.

After her second talk with Mr. Cirillo, Calista was ushered to the main hall where everyone was gathering for the official announcement of the Leaderships. Walking into the room, she could see these charts full of names, and at a quick glance she saw Wren’s name in the very first spot on the female side, and Harry’s on the male. It wasn’t much of a shock to see her own name all the way at the bottom considering she’s new and all, but it made her all the more hell-bent on sliding up to the top.

Everyone seemed eager to get back into the work of things, all of them super hyped that they were back. Being here was mostly a summer occurrence, so because they weren’t here all year round, to everyone it was super exciting to be back with the people they care for, doing the things they love.

All of the elders stood at the front of the room, going over the discourse about this threat of maybe an inside source. Everyone seems slightly peeved at the fact they don’t know who the rat is, looking around warily at one another. Some even had the audacity to look at Calista with disdain, as if her being the traitor makes any sense at all considering she just found out about this place two days ago.

When it was all over, Cal was whisked away by Trin, accompanied by Niall of course, as they took her outside and to some secluded part of the forest that expanded into an open area, away from everyone else. The sun gleamed through the leaves of the trees surrounding them, coating them in a golden mask of fresh air. There’s also a little pond just a little down further, which Niall says helps him out when he’s out here for various hours, day after day. 

There were targets lined up against trees that had been chipped away from what she can assume was constant arrows being stuck inside of it. There were a few racks of different weaponry that stood tall beside the targets that were covered under a tarp to keep them out of harm's way of the weather.

The nerves were itching up Calista’s spine as she looked at the daunting swords and bow and arrows, and other types of metal she had no idea what to call. “I don’t even think I’ll be able to hold anything without dropping it like an idiot,” she grimaces, a wry smile on her face as she traces the intricate design etched into the handle of the first sword.

“It takes some getting used to, but you’ll get the hang of it,” Niall comforted, walking over to one of the vacant benches and tying up the laces to his shoes that had come undone. “Plus you’ve got the best of the best on y’side, it’ll be like a piece of cake.”

Calista scrunches her eyebrows in disagreement, a mental image of her cutting off her arm or even her head coming to mind as the sharp edges of the swords and knives glimmer in the sunlight. The least threatening of the various weapons was the bo staff that stood perched against the wood rack, its blunt ends that weren’t met in metal seeming to be the easiest to handle. Though, the spear that sat beside it caught her eye too, as she thought of her mother, and how the spear is known to be her weapon of choice, accompanied by a golden shield. 

Off in the distance was the sound of someone walking towards them, the sounds of the pavement crushing beneath their shoes. All three of them turned to the sound coming from the side, and were greeted by Harry’s face as he whistled his way into their line of vision.

His black t-shirt was rolled at the sleeves and a red bandanna was snugly tucked into his hair as it pushed back the few curls that tended to fall onto his forehead. His tan skin glowed as his tattoos sat contrast on his arms. Calista was envious of how he looked so good doing absolutely nothing, and if she didn’t have any better self-control, she’d probably be drooling right now.

“G’morning,” he smiles at them, hands on his hips as he stops in front of the three. But, he then turns his attention undividedly onto Calista, a little glimmer of amusement sparking across his eyes as he asks, “Ready for some fun?”

“I highly doubt it’s gonna be fun,” she drones back, bending over to wrap her hair up into the best bun she could manage.

When she stood back up tall, doing a few final adjustments to her hair, she realized Trin and Niall were walking back in the original direction they had come from, leaving behind her and Harry. She was beyond confused, calling out to them and wondering where they were off to, only to receive back a curt response of, “Harry works better alone, so we’re gonna head back,” and then they were gone. 

Now, Calista doesn’t know Harry all that well, and now she’s scared he’s here to murder her, deep in the woods where no one would be able to hear her scream. He’s got plenty of methods to do so right beside them, and she’d be lying if she said her heart rate didn’t pick up a little bit. And she’s a little confused as to why she wasn’t told this in the first place.

“Are you wondering if I’m going to murder you?”

Calista pursed her lips, shaking her head slowly, “Pfft, what? No.”

“I don’t usually work with anyone. I like to stay in my own headspace away from everyone so I can stay focused,” he elaborated to their friend’s previous statement before they walked away completely.

“So… why’re you here with me then?” She retorts, arms crossing over her chest in more of a nervous manner than a confident one. The small thought that he wanted to be there because of her crossed her mind briefly, but a louder, more dominant notion danced all over that, screaming in her face that no one would ever do anything just to be near her. Especially not him. 

He cocks his head to the side, eyes squinting slightly as he analyzes the features of her face, his own arms crossing together as a smirk worms up the side of his face. Calista felt small under his gaze, fearing he was reading her thoughts like an open book like he did the night before.

Little did she know, he is there for her. He’s so infatuated with the thought of getting to know the ins and outs of her, needing to know what exactly makes her, her. It boggles his mind how she seems so reserved, keeping to herself as she fights the thoughts running around her head, yet can turn around and become a strong willed woman the moment someone like Wren comes storming around. 

Harry likes to train by himself, finding it easier to concentrate and better himself when he doesn’t have eyes watching him and analyzing every one of his moves. Plus, he likes the thrill of surprising everyone when he learns a few new tricks to tuck up his sleeves when Duels come around. But, he’s willing to work with Calista, to bend a few of his rules if it means she’ll break down a few of her walls. 

“There’s a first for everything, Darling.”

[paintmearainbow]

What Is Love ?

Love.

Love means different things to different people. Some people say love is making your partner happy and seeing them happy makes you happy . But love, is actually a figment of our imaginations. In a way, love is selfish and makes us lose our independence. You make the other person happy to keep yourself happy, and you become dependent and vulnerable. It's a somewhat like a shared dream. And until one person decides to wakeup, and that dream, albeit fun while it lasted, becomes a living nightmare

1 YEAR AGO

For Harry and y/n; sneaking out of premiers and award shows,buying tacos and eating them at 3 AM was love. For them, love was dancing in the kitchen to Elvis and baking with each other. Love was watching horror movies in makeshift tents, snacking on caramel popcorns and cans of soda; all while making fun of Harry's "those dumb bitches" in the movie. Love was falling asleep in each others arms and reading each other books. It was dressing up as Disney characters and acting out scenes from their favourite animations. It was etheral, perfect. Almost too perfect too be true

People always said "Love will fizzle out. One of you will get bored." Harry and y/n didn't listen. They burned so fast, so bright and didn't realise that their spark too, like all blazed and sparks from lighted matches, had extinguished. One second it was burning so brightly, and the next, it was gone

..............................................................................................

"When was the last time you spoke to him ?" asked y/n's sister.

" A week ago" a distraught y/n replied. "He barely has time to even talk to me on the phone, let alone show me the sights and explore the places with him via facetime"

For a brief moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and all the memories flashed through her eyes, like a movie roll, playing over and over agai

FLASHBACK

"Y/N !" exclaimed Harry, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing with joy. Oh how she longed to see him, feel him and be with him in real life , rather than on a screen. Yet she was eternally grateful for Harry for never making her feel left out from the tour experience, he always made sure to show her around, even if it was only on a screen, while giving tour guide commentary in a horribly fake American accent.

"You're in for a treat ! We're going to see the Louvre today. Come on an enjoy the sited with Harry's Tour Experiences"

Y/n couldn't stop laughing.

Being an art fanatic, she giving Harry detailed descriptions of the art, while all he did was turn it inti a joke. His put on accent stood out when he kept saying " Oh shucks ! Here's another painting of a few women and men fighting and eating." He termed an entire style of art; renaissance art as "men and women barely dressed fighting and eating". He made a few sly comments on how y/n would look lovely in that dress. It was so wonderful and each of these virtual trips was marked with his signature end. Going to a park, and eating the same food.

His laughter was contagious and y/n loved it. She wondered how she got so lucky, so blessed to have hazza in her life.

She never thought that this love, would eventually fizzle.

end of flashback

Now she was lucky if he spoke to her for 5 minutes. Even those 5 minutes were filled with her talking and him showing least interest in what she had to say. She doubted whether he even listened.

Today, however was a low blow. It was y/n' bday. had it been any other year. Harry would've made this day perfect. They had been together since they were 18. The first year, he bought her 18 gifts on her birthday. The subsequent year, he got her 19 and so on. He would make her breakfast in bed and wake her up with showers of kisses and a "Good Morning, Happy Birthday Darling."

Today however, at 7 PM , she was yet to have him acknowledge that it was her birthday. She was yet to have any sign of news from him at all. She illusioned herself, thinking that maybe he had interviews to attend.

Her sister, however, tired with y/n's moping, said" You're coming over with your friends to Club 22 this night or else I wont speak to you. I don't want you to spend your birthday moping around"

With great difficulty, y/n was persuaded by her friends to go clubbing. The loud music, the drinks and the dim lights were never y/n's scene. Yet, for the sake of her friends, she fixed up a smile on her face and tried to enjoy, trying her best to forget than Harry's call still hadn't come.

.......

It was 10 PM and the party was in full swing. y/n's friends were drunk, so drunk. Everyone around her was laughing, drinking and joking. Meanwhile, a new disturbing thought had settled in y/n's head. What if he got into and accident ? What if he's really sick ? She was ridden with anxiety and couldn't get Harry off her mind, until that one fateful message from Nezza, her best friend, Harry's PA, through whom they had met, sent her that message. When y/n's phone lit up and she scarmbled to see the text, hoping it was Harry, she did not know it would change her life permanently.

The text was simple. "I'm so so sorry honey; you deserve to know" It was attached with a single file of pictures.

She subconciously knew what had happened. She had seen all the signs, yet chose to ignore them, not wanting to get up from her dream. The reduced duration of phone calls ultimately leading up to a call a month, the regular excuses, coming home late, half hearted kisses, they all added up. For a split second, y/n wanted to think that it was something else; maybe harry was too drunk or had passed out in a bar.

The message to forever to download. It was so slow and painfully excruciating. It was like the calm before the storm. The slow before the fast. The light drizzle before the thunderstorm. When the picture finally loaded; her heart shattered ever so fast. The pain she felt was numbing, yet somewhere in her mind, she was gald that Harry was safe.

There was Harry, his arm around the small waist of the redhead, his fingers entwined in hers. The same fingers which ran through y/n's hair multiple times, were now woven in another's hand. She thought her heart couldnt break more.

Fate was not kind to y/n.

She swiped to see the next picture, and she wasn't sure how, or whether it was even possible, but her heart further broke. Harry was kissing her in the booth, their booth, in Alessandro's the place he had her first date with y/n.

Fate had evil plans for y/n.

Tears streaming down her face, the makeup for the night ruined, y/n looked around for her sister and friends but they were nowhere to be seen. The only thing glowing right now was her glitzy dress, the one she had been forced into. Unable to take it anymore, she ordered an uber and left.

Fate wasn't kind to y/n at all

The minute she left the club, she was blinded with lights, the flashes from the camera, and the shouts from the reporters

" How do you feel about Harry cheating on you on tour ?"

"Did you expect this ? How do you react to Harry kissing a supermodel, younger than you!"

Y/n wanted to scream, but keeping her emotions in she pushed through the sea of people, got into her uber, gave her address and broke down.

She cried and cried. The uber driver tried to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't stop crying. she wanted the pain to go away. she wanted to cry. But most of all, she wanted Harry to tell her that it wasn't true and hold her in his arms and tell her it's alright.

But it wasn't. it wasn't alright. Far from it.

The next morning after an extremly broken sleep, y/n awoke. All the event's from last night wre remembered and her eyes started to water again. She switched on her phone to see the hashtag #y/ndeservesbetter and #harryandy/nareover trending. She also so 100 missed calls, voicemails and texts from Harry but chose to ignore them.

Y/n was raised to be strong. She spent most of childhood see her mom struggle to make meets end. She had seen the worst. She was strong. She went over to the mirror and saw her reflection and realised that she looked a mess. She took 3 deep breaths, washed her face, and masked her emotions, just as she did way back in high school, before she met Harry, before he changed her.

She went down and suddenly the apartment door opened. There stood the man who she loved, the man who had broken her heart, the one who still held her heart, no matter how broken it was.

He pleaded with her to forgive him. He begged, cried, said it was a one time mistake, and he regretted it, that he loved her; but y/n turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Their love had fizzled out, and she was blinded by affection not to realise it earlier. And as the saying goes " Once a cheater, always a cheater." Y/n wasn't taking any more risks. She put on a strong facade, made up her mind and left, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.

She wasn't over him, far from it. She was so broken, yet showed no signs. She had calm expresssion, yet her thoughts were chaotic. But she knew what was best and she knew this was the right thing to do. She had to take the lessons from this experience and move on, just like her mother had taught her. Dreams end, no matter how amazing it is, no matter how much you want to hold on and live it, and this, her perfect dream, had also come to an end.

So, what is love ?

A dream ? A nightmare ? Soemthing too good to be true?

Maybe all it is, is an illusion. A fairytale. Or maybe it is the truth, because truth teaches us lessons and so does love. i guess it's one of those things which just has no answers.

author's note

AND THATS A WRAP. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. it's something which definitely shouldnt be forgive . this the first ever imagine I've posted on my new tumblr. Please send feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Reblog. What are your thoughts? i would love to hear them. Send requests for more imagines.

i should be studying but eh.

keep dreaming

ashu.

(here's a random B99 gif for no reason)

[katedrakeohd]

Personal Shopper

A Choices : Save the Date Fanfiction

Pairing: MC Stella Jennings and Martin Mercado (Justin)

Rated: PG for language.

Word count: approx. 2800

Context: Martin calls Stella and asks for a favor.

Author's note: Stella's personal thoughts appear in italics

Tagging:

@dailydoseofchoices @sanvivrma @samihatuli @gardeningourmet @lovealexhunt @princess-geek @loveofafangirl @storyofmychoices @msjpuddleduck @perriewinklenerdie @thepotatobleh @shrinkthisviolet @griselda1121 @iamnotjesha @desiree-0816

*************

I'm standing in the bridal boutique with Lindsay finalizing our plans to attend the Wedding convention in Niagara Falls, when my phone starts ringing. Without looking at the caller ID I answer, “Hello, Jennings Wedding Planners. We make weddings spectacular, how may I help you?”

After the words leave my lips there's a pause, giving me just enough time to feel awkward about using the word ‘spectacular' .

“Stella, Hi. It's Martin.”

It's been a while since we've spoken, and I can't help but feel a tingle of excitement at hearing his voice. When I don't say anything he continues,

“Nora's wedding is coming up soon, and I was wondering if I could ask a favor?”

Oh so now he needs me for something. Is this a test?

“What kind of favor?”, I ask.

“Well as wedding planner I value your opinion on what to wear, and as Best Man I need a tuxedo. Could you help me pick one out?”

Well I've already overseen the picking out of wedding dresses. And this would give me another chance to show Martin that I can be professional and take my job seriously. So why not?

“Ok Martin, are we picking something out of your closet or are we going shopping?”

I can hear the smile in his voice when he answers, “I want something fresh and new for Nora's wedding, so let's go shopping. Are you free this evening?”

When he's not mad at me for something his voice does carry a certain charm. I wish it didn't affect me so much.

“I'm free, where are we going?”

“I'll text you the address. Meet me there at 7?”

I can't help but smile, “It’s a date.”

I hear him laugh on the other end, “Don't be late.”

As I look out the window of my taxi I can't help but shake my head. Given that the address Martin gave me borders on the south end of Central Park, it couldn't have said more “fancy rich guy” if it tried. When the taxi stops outside of the Ritz-Carlton hotel, I see Martin standing talking to the doorman. When the doorman steps over to get my door, Martin waves him off and opens it for me.

“Wow, aren't we being a gentleman?” I tease as I climb out of the taxi.

“Well you're here to do me a favor, so it's only right.”

Martin knocks on the passenger window and the driver rolls it down to accept his credit card.

I stand on the sidewalk and wait. The Ritz-Carlton doorman tips his hat to me in greeting and I blush. As the taxi drives away Martin comes back over to me.

“So this is a hotel. I thought we were going shopping?” I ask, eyeing Martin warily.

Martin's usual stern facade shifts and he smiles, “Oh we are, the store isn't far from here. So I figured we could walk.”

I shrug, falling in step beside him as we join the flow of pedestrians. “Don't tell me you're taking me to shop on 5th Avenue.” I joke.

Martin glances at me all serious, “Well yes, I always shop on 5th Avenue.

Of course you do.

As we walk by the other hotels on the street the crowd on the sidewalk gets more dense, and it's tough not to bump into people. A group of people come at us from the other direction and I have to step closer to Martin to avoid being trampled. Without warning I feel him take my hand, he leans in close to whisper. “Don't worry, I've got you.”

I give his hand a grateful squeeze, “Thanks, remind me again why walking is better than taking a taxi?”

As he guides me around a woman pushing a stroller, he smiles. “I like walking with you Stella. Remember how I walked you home after Nora's bridal shower?”

“I remember wanting to learn more about the real Martin that hides behind the façade of CEO event planner guy.”

We navigate the maze of cross walks and find ourselves on 5th Avenue.

“Well consider this as an another insight into who I am. I love this city, I live this city. The excitement, the people, the living breathing organism that is the exchange of commerce and business. I feel so energized to be a part of it.”

As I look down at his expensive shoes and the designer clothes he's wearing it reminds me of the divide between our economic classes. We might live on the same island, but he's all high-rise Penthouse and I'm Hell's Kitchen. I don’t belong in his social scene at all, yet here I am planning his sister's wedding and holding his hand. It's terrifying and exciting at the same time, like I'm on a carousel ride and if I dare let go it will all disappear and be just a dream.

He holds the door open for me as we enter the men's wear store at Bergdorf Goodman and as we step inside he looks like he's right at home. I feel like an ugly duckling in my basic cotton dress and sandals. He leads the way to the escalator and we go up to the second floor formal wear department.

The mannequins are all sharply dressed in suits of various colors and designer brands. As the only feminine thing in the whole room it feels very intense, almost erotic to be surrounded by such powerful masculinity.

The way that Martin just casually walks by the expensive price tags on display is mindboggling. But then this is his world, and money is no object. As we approach the clerk behind the counter the man smiles at us and greets Martin like an old friend.

“Martin! Back so soon! And with a pretty girl on your arm. How can I help you two today?”

Martin smiles back, “Good evening, Eric. My sister's getting married next month and I need a tux.”

Eric eyes me appraisingly as if I'm Martin's date. He seems to approve, but I don't know for sure because he quickly averts his attention back to Martin.

“Nora, right? Well tell her congrats for me. So for this extra special occasion are we going for something equally as special? Perhaps a tail coat this time?”

Martin shrugs and then looks at me, “That's not quite what I had in mind as Best Man, but let's ask the wedding planner. What do you think Stella?”

I hold my hand up, needing to clarify something first, “Hang on, I'm still trying to get over the fact that the staff know you by name. Just how many suits have you bought here?”

Martin grins at Eric, “Well this will be the fifth. There was Prom, two award shows, and of course Sam and Ali's wedding. I like shopping here because they carry the styles and brands that I like. Plus they have my size and measurements on file which helps.”

Eric laughs and smacks Martin on the arm, “Besides Martin and I go way back because we used to work here together.”

“So you weren't always part of your Dad's event planning business?” I ask, trying to imagine Martin working behind the counter at a clothing store.

“I was in highschool and Eric was in college. We worked in the backroom more so than directly with customers. It was my first taste of the business world at the ground level.”

Eric smiles, “One of the best, most down-to-earth guys I’ve ever worked with.”

Wait, what? Bossy pants, rich guy Martin is actually a nice guy under all of that expensive cologne? I knew it.

“Stop it Eric, you’re going to ruin the hard ass millionaire persona I’ve been trying so hard to uphold,” Martin jokes.

The air between us gets a little more awkward as Martin looks at me and smiles. What game are you playing Mister? You like me, then hate me, then you look at me like that and my knees go weak. Stop teasing me.

Eric claps his hands to dispell the moment and bring me back to reality, “Ok then, enough reminiscing, let’s get you a tux.”

He leads us to the racks and starts pulling things. “Let’s try this, and…this, oh and this one.”

Eric’s confidence as he chooses designer looks just at a glance is so different to Lindsay’s timid nature at the bridal boutique. He knows his niche market so well and obviously excels at it. I wish I could get the two of them in the same room, and just maybe some of his confident optimism would rub off on her.

He hands Martin a bunch of hangers as he leads us to a changing room, “I’m sure you two will be just fine with these, I’ll check back on you later.”

I feel a sudden panic take over at the idea of being left alone with Martin in a changing room. “Wait, you’re not going to help advise him about fit and stuff like that?”

Eric smiles, “I think in this matter that Martin would value your opinion more than mine. I’ll give you some privacy.”

Did he just wink at Martin before he left?

I suddenly feel hot all over when Martin hands me the hangers and then starts to unbutton his shirt, This is so not in my job description. What is going on?

I feel myself blush and look away, “Um, Martin should I wait outside?”

As he unbuttons the cuffs on his sleeves he looks down briefly as he slips off his shoes. “Only if you really want to Stella, I’m not too shy to ask for your help if I need you.”

If he needs me? What if I want to help now?

My eyes are drawn to the open neck of his shirt and the little bit of chest he’s revealed. I hang up the suits I’m holding and step toward him. “Let me help you with that.”

Martin doesn’t argue as I gently lay my hands on his chest, smoothing the fabric under my palms and running my thumb up over the buttons. His hands hang at his sides as he watches mine work to undo the buttons. I can feel his warm breath on my neck, and I boldly let my thumb graze against his skin as I reach the bottom button. Biting my lip I tug the shirt up out of his waistband. As I undo the last button I look up and meet the dark intensity of his eyes with my own. Our lips are only inches apart and I see him gasp as I run my hands up his bare chest and slide the shirt off of his shoulders and then it drops to the floor.

“Stella,” he whispers, catching my hands in his. “That's enough, thanks for the help.”

I step back and let my eyes wander down his toned and muscled arms and chest, ending at his abs, trying not to focus on anything below the belt. He clears his throat and then I look back up at his eyes.

“Are you sure you don't need help with anything else?” I ask, bending down to pick up his shirt. It's still warm and smells like him.

He pushes his shoes off to the side, and undoes his belt. I can't help but watch his hands.

“Yes Stella, I think I can manage the rest from here. I'm quite capable of dressing and undressing myself.”

I feel warm all over as I back out of the changing room, “I..I understand. I'll be outside if you need me.”

I lean against the wall and try to catch my breath. My mind, nerves and sexual desire are buzzing in overdrive.

Holy hell what the heck was that? He had no reservations about taking his shirt off in front of me. What the fuck is this twisted game he's playing? Was he just testing me to see if the attraction is mutual? Because it definitely is.

My eyes are closed, when I hear the door open.

“Okay, what do you think?”

My head snaps round to the sound of his voice. Damn he looks good in black. The crisp white of his shirt pops against the caramel color of his skin, and the bowtie draws attention to his handsome face and brilliant smile.

“Wow, Martin. Just wow.” I can't hide my smile of admiration.

“I know right? Eric really knows what looks good on me.”

He certainly does.

“You bet I do!” Eric says, grinning from ear to ear with pride.

After a quick visual assessment Eric nods. “And it's a perfect fit.”

Martin catches me staring and makes a show of adjusting his shirt cuffs and smoothing the lapels of his jacket. I can feel myself blush when he lays a smoldering look on me. He knows he looks good and that I'm checking him out. He undoes the button on the jacket and casually stuffs his hands in the pockets of the trousers as if he already owns them.

“Great then. I'll get changed and then you can ring me up.”

Eric smirks at me when Martin disappears to go change, “You like him don't you? You know you're just his type. Please tell me that you two are a thing.”

I'm caught off guard by his observation, but I can't help but tell him the truth.

“Not yet, but I'm working on it.”

Eric laughs, “I knew it! The two of you have been setting off serious sparks ever since you walked in.”

Well whatever is going on it's seriously something volatile.

“You're his friend, any advice for me?” I ask nervously.

I can't believe I'm really asking someone how to pursue a relationship with Martin.

“Be patient, he knows what he's got going on, but under it all he has a good heart and a good head.”

“And a good face.”

He grins and points at me, “You, Stella. I like you. Got spunk for days.”

Martin comes back out, “What are you two grinning about?”

“Oh nothing. Stella and I were just talking about cute boys that's all.”

He laughs, “I bet your husband wouldn't like that.”

Eric laughs, “Nah he'd just be jealous about missing out on the details.”

I blush and look down at my shoes, praying for the floor to open me up and swallow me whole. “Um, can we go now?”

Eric winks and collects the tuxedo and accessories from Martin, “But of course Madame et Monsieur, right this way.”

Standing next to Martin at the counter I try not to peek at the price of everything as Eric rings them up. Martin hands over his black Visa card. “So I'm assuming the hemming of the trousers to the proper inseam is included. And that everything will be delivered to my address?”

Eric smiles and nods as he makes a note on the receipt. “Yes Mr. Mercado, and as always it's been a pleasure doing business with you.”

“Thanks Eric, we'll be back.”

We? What's this we all of a sudden?

“Nice to meet you Stella.” Eric says as we turn to go.

I smile and wave and then Martin leads me back out of the store. Out on the street I turn on him.

“Ok Martin, out with it. Why did you really invite me out to go shopping with you?”

Martin runs his hand over the side of his face, and looks down at his shoes with a sigh. “Honestly?”

I fold my arms across my chest, “I'd like the truth, yes.”

Martin looks up and the expression on his face is open and sincere. “The truth is…that..that I like you Stella. I was looking for an excuse to see you again.”

Well holy shit. I don't know what to say.

“Stella?” he says, as he catches me staring at him again. “Say something.”

I blink and then look down and reach for his hand. When I look back up at him again he's smiling. “I think I'd like that Mr. Mercado.”

He steps closer, “And what exactly would you like Stella?”

“For you to find more excuses to see me. Because I like spending time with you too.”

He brings his hand up to brush the hair back from my face, his thumb grazes my cheek and sends a thrilling sensation traveling down my neck. He leans in close and my eyes drop down to focus on his lips, now just a breath away from touching mine. I suck in a breath in anticipation and then he draws himself back.

With a sigh he steps back from me. “Can I call you sometime?”

I feel like all the air has been squeezed out of my lungs so I just nod.

“Yes, anytime.” I manage to whisper.

"Okay good, but for now let me call you a cab."

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [I'm thinking the vibe should be that maybe she hasn't heard from him all at for these 3-5 days like NOTHING which is obvs not like him even when he's busy] Ava: Hey, just checking in Ava: it's all good if you're busy but I'm just a little worried, probably stupid but Ava: give me a quick shout so I don't ramp it up and come 'round like a potential total idiot James: [when you can see he's reading it but not replying] Ava: James Ava: What's wrong? James: what's right? nothing Ava: Please tell me James: how? Ava: I don't know Ava: sometimes it's easier to just say it, stick to the facts Ava: I can take time to gather my thoughts and reply, if you can't James: I can't, Ava James: talk about this, think about it, handle it James: those are the facts Ava: Okay Ava: Can you tell me where you are? James: home, I've been there the entire time James: except when I went out to buy a bottle I can't drink & drugs I can't take, so they're staring at me Ava: You could Ava: but you haven't Ava: are the girls with you? James: yes, having them here is the only way I can be sure I won't Ava: You'd never hurt them James: but I said she uses them & that's exactly what I'm doing James: as a sobriety chip Ava: Caring enough about your loved ones and your responsibility towards them is a noble one to stay sober Ava: hold onto it James: it doesn't matter, I'll lose her anyway James: I can only hold on to Matty Ava: Why are you going to lose Jay? James: because she's not mine Ava: you've done a test Ava: oh god Ava: I am so, so sorry there are no words Ava: when did you find out? James: Chloé insisted James: I'm not her father but thanks to that lovely conversation we had, I do know who is Ava: She, what? Ava: She's pure evil James: she insisted because of you Ava: me? James: yes, her hatred of your family is more deeply rooted than I realised Ava: but Ava: if I had any idea Ava: I'm sorry, I should've listened to you but I thought she'd come after me, not Ava: this Ava: James James: in a way, she is, this affects you too Ava: but it's yours and the girl's lives Ava: it only affects me because I care about you James: you don't understand what I mean, it's yours & your family's too James: I can't say the words, Ava, other than what I've already said, I know who her father is Ava: I don't understand but I'm trying Ava: how could it affect my family Ava: that's Ava: no it's not possible James: Ava James: she told me how it happened James: told me to ask him Ava: but Ava: how could he James: I don't know, she said that they'd had an argument & he was really under the influence Ava: but Ava: forget the fact he's a bad boyfriend, forget the fact he's turned that into being a worse husband Ava: it's the fact he's going to be so selfish, put us all through hell because he loves Rio and that makes it okay, then he's not even going to fucking mean it and worst of all, he's going to fuck it all up, after all the pain of us accepting and dealing with his decision, with her- and why? because she made Nancy's life hell? Ava: he's as twisted as her, I'm gonna kill him James: I'm sorry James: if it redeems anything at all, I think Rio at least knows, I think it's possible that maybe everyone did but us Ava: you have nothing to be sorry for Ava: he's helped Ava: he's helped ruin your life Ava: Jesus James: you see now why I couldn't tell you James: talk to you at all Ava: Of course I see Ava: this is Ava: just terrible James: everything is ruined Ava: what are you going to do? Ava: what is she going to do? James: she's going to tell him if I don't Ava: He has to know Ava: how has it never crossed his mind Ava: he's clearly many things but stupid isn't one of them James: apparently she told him about the pregnancy and his response was to tell everyone about his relationship with your cousin James: so she quickly recanted & we know the rest Ava: so he used Rio as a scapegoat Ava: that's even worse Ava: well, karma has caught up with him Ava: but not enough, nowhere near James: this is all according to Chloé, she's rarely to be trusted Ava: She didn't lie about the DNA, did she James: evidently not, but that doesn't mean she has a clear insight into any of your brother's motivations or feelings Ava: I don't care Ava: any way you slice it, it's wrong Ava: oh God Ava: he can't take Jay from you Ava: she's yours James: she uses people, Ava, he won't have been any different James: he's a law student, he'll know better than me what he can or can't do Ava: Like he used her, because he was pissed off? Then used Rio, who he claims to love, to get out of the situation you then got forced into Ava: I don't want to talk about him Ava: you've raised her, you wanted her when she was presented to you as yours, you didn't wriggle out of it Ava: she named you, even if she lied James: maybe he won't want her anyway, he's got a family, a wife, whatever happened then it's obviously in the past for them Ava: Exactly Ava: even if that's Ava: disgusting Ava: leave Chloe to tell him, it'll go as well as the first time James: she's given me time to get a DNA done, with no prior knowledge of how long that would take, I can leave before she tells him Ava: You can Ava: she's a fucking idiot, even if he for some reason believed her this time, how is he doing a DNA, he's never met Jay, he has no way of contacting her but through you James: our bags have been packed for days, I just need to actually go Ava: Where will you go? James: I don't know Ava: I guess it's for the best you don't tell me Ava: I wouldn't want to say, even under duress James: right Ava: I'm so sorry, James James: me too James: I thought the hardest thing left to tell Jay would be about us Ava: Do you have to Ava: if you leave James: she'll have to know & if it doesn't come from me it could come from Chloé herself, years from now potentially James: there's only so long we can stay away, I don't have my own money Ava: That's true Ava: that would be Ava: but this will be so hard for you Ava: at least she's still going to want to stay with you, there's no chance she'll want to be anywhere else Ava: you'll find a way to make your own money Ava: wherever you end up James: as a single parent with so few skills I'm less sure of this imagined future but Ava: People do it Ava: you can James: maybe she'd be better off with him James: in the end Ava: No Ava: money makes life easier, it doesn't make it worthwhile, come on Ava: knowing your parent loves you, that's so much more important Ava: you love Jay, more than anyone else could James: but he's not a bad father, is he? he could love her Ava: You love her Ava: what about you? James: I love you too but it's not enough James: everything's still ruined Ava: not because of you Ava: because of this Ava: them James: I should've done this sooner James: I knew there was a chance James: she never said it about Matty, not once Ava: So did he, where's he been Ava: and she knew for sure and she still let all of this happen Ava: no one else is here taking responsibility, looking after those girls, it's you James: what the fuck am I going to do? Ava: The money you have, if it was enough for a deposit in London, it'll be more than enough anywhere else, enough to rent and live off whilst you get it sorted, getting them into schools, job hunting Ava: I still love you, James James: come with me Ava: I can't, my parents would file a missing persons Ava: even if I told them I was going, they wouldn't let me Ava: when you're settled, tell me where you are, I won't tell, if they start asking Ava: and I can come see you again James: I can't just leave you here not knowing how long I'll be gone Ava: I've already made things bad for you Ava: she wouldn't have done this if I weren't related to him James: but I'd still be married to her if I didn't have you to make me realise how bad that was Ava: I don't want you to go Ava: but that's only because I'll miss you so fucking much I can't think about it, and because I'm scared for you and what you'll do and what will happen Ava: but you can't lose her James: can you convince your brother to do the right thing? you talked to Teddy, that helped James: I don't know, I know it's not the same, but James: I can't lose you either, not now James: not when I need you more than ever James: I'm so scared & so alone with this & I don't want to do the wrong thing James: Jay will have so many questions if we just leave Ava: Oh, darling Ava: I don't know either, I don't think you can be sure about this it's so Ava: uncertain and messed up Ava: but if you can't lose me, you won't Ava: and I'll try my best with whatever else you need me to but I can't promise anything, really James: there's always been someone telling me what to do, every step James: & now there's nothing, we're all in free fall Ava: You can do this, I know now more than ever is a time impossible to have that self-belief but you can Ava: you don't have to be alone though, I'm here for you James: will you come over, please? Ava: of course James: I just can't go anywhere else right now Ava: That's beyond understandable Ava: I'll walk, that'll be quickest James: okay Ava: James James: yes? Ava: Before I leave, we'll have a plan, alright Ava: even if we don't stick to it fully or we make changes Ava: I won't go 'til you feel at least 1% better about it all James: if it makes you feel better I'm at 1% at the prospect of seeing you James: not only because I can't tell if Matty is actually getting sick or if I'm just stressed Ava: We'll aim for 2% then Ava: and I'm sure she's okay but I'll make sure too, yeah James: how could I ever walk away from you again? Ava: I wasn't convinced I'd survive it either but James: they aren't the only reason I stayed sober James: I don't want you to see me like that either Ava: I am so proud of you Ava: no one would want to be sober in your position right now, so the fact you could Ava: you're so strong, love James: it's so hard being around her right now, wondering if actually her temper isn't inherited from her mother like I thought & what else I've mis-attributed, but the idea of not being with her is Ava: There must not be a word to put to how confusing, conflicted, it all feels James: this whole situation is a huge blank page James: my family have all individually kept ringing me but I have nothing to say, no way to tell them that any of this is going on Ava: You've been in shock Ava: They can wait, you had no choice in hearing it but you can feel as if you have more of an idea before you tell them James: until they're at the door Ava: you've dealt with worse, you can't deny that now Ava: but we will try to get you some reprieve Ava: I bet you haven't been to sleep James: how long can you stay before your parents take issue with it? Ava: I'm sure I can get a friend to cover for me, I'll sort that Ava: I'll stay as long as you need me James: an eternity then, fine if you have loyal enough friends or I had vampire attributes Ava: I'll stay with you for an eternity like that Ava: even if I have to go back to sleep after a certain point, I'm not going anywhere James: I love you James: she can't ruin that, okay Ava: She can't Ava: ever Ava: she tried, amongst all the fucked shit she has pulled James: your sister clearly had the right idea Ava: yeah Ava: who'd have known James: maybe she'll have a spare bed for me in New York Ava: that will make visiting slightly more problematic but you know James: in that case, I won't write it down as step 1 of the plan James: understood Ava: unless step 2 is I apply to some NYC schools James: Goldsmiths would never forgive me Ava: I love you so much Ava: also I think I'm here but come let me in just in case James: [does]

[reformedkingsmanagent]

could you do an imagine where maybe instead of Eggsy in the opening scene of Kingsman the golden circle it's the reader?? Like, Charlie and the reader have had a past or something? Don't worry If you can't! :)

A/N: I am not sure if I like how this turned out, as I am not the best at writing action, but I hope it’s okay. I really did try! I wasn’t sure how much of it I could change and get away with it, so it’s really very minor what I did. (Though I didn’t mind rewatching the scene multiple times…at all) I hope this is acceptable, I really did want to do SOMETHING for this as I think it’s one of my favorite fight scenes ever!

Prompt: You’re alive?

Pairing: Loose Charlie x reader

Word Count: 2025

It had been a while since you’d spent an entire day at HQ. Normally you’d check in here and there, but tonight was a rare exception. Despite doing paperwork all day for Merlin instead of hunting people down, you were just as exhausted. You couldn’t wait to get home and fall into bed.

“Excuse me,” the distorted voice met your ears and you turned, continuing down the steps to stop in front of the hooded figure. “Mind if I share your cab?” The hood was pushed off and your eyes widened. The glasses confirmed what you already knew to be true.

No.

“Charlie?!” He was dead, everyone insisted he was dead. He had been given one of the chips, they had all been detonated. You’d watched the footage with everyone else, doing your best to hide the pain you felt as the screen filled with bright colors. Everyone else cheered around you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to join in. Not with Charlie being one of the victims.

He drew a golden-toned gun from the pocket at the front of his hoodie, fingers tightening on it. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? Here you are, a Kingsman agent, while I’m out here skulking around.” There was no emotion in his eyes, no indication that he remembered you or the time you two had spent together during training.

He motioned to the black Kingsman cab beside you. “If I was you, I’d unlock your cab.” You were still dealing with the idea that he could have survived somehow. You didn’t have a second to think about how different he looked or how your heart still reacted to him. What was he doing here?

You noticed him glance over his shoulder and a few golden SUVs pulled up into view, waiting a little further down the street. He hadn’t come alone then. You knew you were in no position to fight him, not here at least. You’d get shot down before you landed your first punch.

He stepped closer, grabbing your shoulder roughly as he steered you over to the door of the cab. You breathed deeply as you put your hand under the scanner. He seemed bigger than you remembered.

You had seconds, actually even less time than that, to do something. He could just shoot you the second you opened the door. He wanted access to something inside. He didn’t need you once that door was open. Would he really do that?

You steeled your nerves as the door opened and you quickly grabbed a hold of him, pulling him in front of you and shoving him into the back seat. You joined him, forcing him down into the leather seat while yelling at the driver to move.

You kept your weight on him as the cab lurched forward, but he was strong. You were forced against the door as he recovered and fired off a couple of shots in the small enclosed space. Your ears were ringing. You didn’t want to hurt him, you just wanted to find out how on earth he had survived. It didn’t seem like you’d get the chance. Your training kicked in and you ended up punching him into the glass divider, hearing the glass crack with the force. One more should-

A hand on your neck forced you down into the console, and music began playing. You were dazed.

You sat up, eyes settling on the gun in his hand. Out of desperation you kick his arm back into the divider which shatters the glass. He fires off a shot through the window but you manage to discharge the next bullet in the chamber. You feel relief for a moment as the bullet flies through the air. Now maybe you could restrain him a bit easier, get him to talk-

His fist connects with your jaw and your vision takes a moment to clear. He grabs your collar and forces you back into the seat. You receive another punch and you wonder for a moment if you’re going to make it out of this. If you could just talk to him, find out what happened, how he had survived…You had to stun him somehow. The ring might be too strong, but it should work.

You touch the contact on the back of the signet ring and press it into his neck. He just watches you, dark amusement in his eyes. “Don’t think that shit’s gonna work this time,” he taunted. You recall that he was shocked shortly before the implants were detonated…was that how he survived? Why was he impervious to it now? “You’re way out of your depth.” Maybe you were.

You brought a leg up and got it around his neck, squeezing hard. You pulled him down against the seat. If you could hold this, maybe you’d be able to knock him out. “Charlie, please,” you begged. “You don’t have to do this.” He got free and made no move to stop.

You opened the door and shoved him towards it. You thought you might have been successful for a moment, but he reached out with a hand to steady himself on the asphalt. Was he crazy? His skin would be shredded in seconds at this speed.

There was a great shrieking sound, and you saw sparks. The glove he had been wearing was torn off and it revealed a metal hand. So he hadn’t simply survived. He’d lost some things in the process.

After a few seconds he reached up for the side of the door with the metal fingers, trying to pull himself back up and into the cab. You reach over and slam your hand against a panel which produces a pistol of your own. You aim for his other arm, hoping to simply wound him, but he blocks the shots with the metal hand, grabbing onto the gun and twisting it around until you can no longer hold on.

The gun falls to the floor and before you can react he grabs you with the metal hand, throwing you around the small space. You get the wind knocked out of you but you know you can’t stop to recover. You never thought you’d ever be fighting him like this. And at this point, you never really thought you’d ever see him again, either. Your chest hurt both from the physical pain and the emotional stress of seeing him alive again. And not on good terms.

He presses you into the floorboards, your head dangling perilously out of the side of the taxi. Through all of this, his expression hasn’t changed. Unrestrained fury. At what, you could only guess.

“Charlie, stop it!” you shout, wishing the two of you were alone, wishing you could just have a conversation. He tries forcing you out and you bring up a leg, pressing your foot against the metal device on his throat. You manage to catch his neck between your foot and the top of the doorway. He reaches up and grabs at your shoe but is unable to move your foot away.

You hook your other foot around the back of his knee, pulling it towards you so he falls into a crouch. You mentally apologize for this as you punch him in the groin, hard. He falls back into the cab, pain clear on his face. Before you can try to do anything else to restrain him, you see a golden shape coming up alongside the taxi, too close for comfort. It’s going to ram the cab-

You can vaguely make out Charlie yelling, though it surprisingly isn’t directed at you. You’re forced out of the open door which you thankfully grab on to. Before you have time to recover, you see a car coming straight for you, not aware of the danger right before it. You manage to vault yourself up and onto the top of the taxi, the sign digging into the middle of your back as you try to stay as flat as possible.

The car hits the door, knocking it halfway off its hinges. Up here you’re far from safe, but you’re out of Charlie’s grasp. You look to the golden SUVs, wondering if they were going to begin firing at you. Most likely not since they’d probably hit Charlie by accident with the cab swerving like this.

There’s a loud thunk and a section of the panel beneath you gets pushed into your flank, hard, forcing you up into the air. You don’t have time to panic about falling off before the metal fist grabs your shirt, pulling you upside down and back into the cab. Your legs get caught on the crooked door and you dangle there, swaying as the door moves.

You reach beside you and pick up a heavy decanter, smashing it against the side of his head. He isn’t as affected by it as you hoped. He kicks you, and you manage to see his eyes widen as the door falls away, taking you with it. You can feel his foot where it pressed into your stomach. The door shudders underneath you as it scrapes against the road. You start losing the cab and you reach out desperately with your limbs, finally managing to grab hold of the underside of the bumper. You feel sick as you realize that one of the SUVs is right behind you.

You manage to get the trunk open and roll inside it before the impact. The door makes loud noises as it scrapes the underside of the SUV. That would’ve been you. “The fuck?!” you hear Charlie yell. You quietly kick your heels together and bring up your foot to slice through the seat. The sliver of light falls over your face, but you can’t see anything. What did he want with the cab in the first place?

You push your head through and see that he’s trying to gain access to the Kingsman files through the console. What on earth did he need them for? In your confusion you don’t notice him spot you until his hand is at your collar, pulling you through the seat and into the back again, where you started.

He couldn’t get those files. You couldn’t let him. “Charlie, please just tell me what’s going on!”

“You wouldn’t understand!” he roared, reaching for you again. Your reflexes caused you to bring up your foot, the blade narrowly missing his throat. You really hadn’t meant to. He grabbed your foot, using the metal hand to snap off the blade and send it flying into the side of the driver’s neck. The cab starts drifting, but your hands are at his neck, pulling at his jacket.

“Tell me how you’re alive, what you’re doing here! Where have you been?!” His hands touch yours and for once he isn’t filled with rage. You look past him and notice the barriers the car is headed straight towards. He turns to look.

“Get down!” Charlie shouts, hands forcing you onto the floor. You realized too late that he wasn’t protecting himself. He pressed you down with his left hand as he reached up with the metal one to grab onto the handle on the side of the roof. He offered you a smile before the impact wrenched him out of the car and through the windshield behind the driver. His arm was left dangling above you.

Everything went quiet. You sat up, instantly seeking him out. He was on the ground in front of the car, the headlights highlighting his long frame. You needed him to be okay. That moment told you everything. He certainly did remember.

He pushed off of the ground, bringing himself up on his feet slowly. He looked past you, through you at the SUVs waiting around the cab. “No, don’t!” he called out, reaching up with his lone arm to signal for the others to stop. They didn’t listen. He looked to you. “Get out of here!” You moved up over the divider and into the driver’s seat. You stole one last glimpse of him before you were gone.

You’d find him again.

[foreheadfucking]

I don't know if you knew this but Chris Carter was actually sued for sexual harrassment in 1996. He denied it of course but it still gives me pause now and then. Google 'X-FILES' CREATOR SLAMS SEX SUIT AS MONEY PLOY

Omg I read the lawsuit IT IS SO FUNNY lol It includes this gem:On another occasion at a company Christmas party, plaintiff was in a conversation with female co-workers when Carter lifted up his shirt and demanded that they pay homage to his physique.And this one:In particular, plaintiff is informed and believes and thereon alleges that Carter was known in the Vancouver production offices of “The X-Files” as the “Walking Orgasm.”Indeed, plaintiff often witnessed Carter, Gordon and other male writers consuming Scotch in the workplace during regular work hours. Further, plaintiff is informed and believes and thereon alleges that Carter was taking prescription drugs, such as Xanax and Valium.That’s it?? That’s nothing for a busy showrunner. See: Sorkin, Aaron.Also, apparently writers meetings were held at an LA strip club called the 20-20. LA Philes, you know what to do. For science. Actually, in all seriousness, it’s important to note first that the California courts (where the writers/production offices apparently were, which I didn’t know til now but I guess it makes sense) dismissed the case with prejudice. She could prove nothing and they settled out of court. Those named in the suit were Carter, Howard Gordon, and basically all the companies involved, from 20th Cen Fox all the way down to “10-13″ Productions. (Weirdly, the company name is written in numbers, just like that, not spelled out like we normally see it.) No actors were named (sounds like she worked mostly in LA), but it did mention “other employees.” So, like, office people not crew members. Lots of references to a “general atmosphere” of verbal and visual sexual harassment and crude jokes, supported by Carter.I am thankful that I have no real reason to believe the allegations, because I found it hard to imagine the super-chill, mild-mannered Chris, who has the emotional range of a teaspoon, doing a lot of the things that were alleged (rages, physical confrontations, REALLY crude and immature comments, cheating on Dori). …Of course, recent revelations have rendered my instincts worthless. Nevertheless, through my efforts to imagine what I was reading (I always try to err on the side of believing the victim…also this was before I read that it was dismissed), some weird ass imagery was permanently etched into my brain.I also think it’s clear that some of it was probably based in fact, which a disgruntled crew member then embellished for her own gain. We all know that X-Files cast and crew love their sex jokes. It even made it’s way onto the show. It is stated that tolerating sex jokes and harassment was a “de facto” requirement for the job, and yeah I can see that being a thing. Sex jokes make pretty much anything more fun, but as others have commented the KEY thing is that it needs to be consensual. Unfortunately, in a male-dominated environment, no one wants to be the spoilsport who says “Actually, this is making me uncomfortable, please stop.” It would be nice if we lived in a world where, when someone says that, everyone looks around at each other and is like “Oh, sorry Janet, we didn’t know. Nbd. We’ll cool it.” But if that magical workplace exists, I’ve never been in it.Examples given that I find plausible are that, for example, apparently somebody had some kind of dildo or penis-shaped paperweight on their desk, which I don’t consider sexual harassment, but maybe it technically is I dunno. (I mean, no one was beating her over the head with it…which would have been funny. But also harassment.) We already know that porn mags was a regular prop, and I’m sure a few of those made their way onto office desks as well. A less cut-and-dry example is an allegation that someone took a photo of an actor in a costume with a strap-on over the costume, and taped the photo to a female coworker’s computer monitor. That one could be kinda borderline, and definitely meets the “technical” definition of sexual harassment. But I mean, I can imagine scenarios where, like, if I knew the actor and it was a funny picture, and someone taped it to my monitor, I might find that funny. Flukie with a strap-on would be hilarious. But I can also imagine the prudish old script supervisor, Judy, finding it “offensive” and ripping it off, walking away, and slamming her office door. Which is apparently what Judy did. But it’s a grey area because while yes, Judy is a spoilsport, the law is also probably on her side. Like I said, a lot of grey area if you don’t know the law, and even if you do. The tricky thing is, the professional standards are and were changing, even then. And some people are stubborn about making the adjustment, and I can see that maybe affecting a workplace like this. I remember David (being a giant dick) complaining to Playboy about “women’s lib” and making fun of the idea of consent. But the fact is, when you have grey area, consent is a pretty fucking effective tool for differentiating between “ok/fun” and “not ok/not fun.”Judy also requested $25,000 in damages to cover things like neck pain, skin rashes (???), and suicidal ideation. Really, Judy? Skin rashes?

[theexcogitativelibrarium]

Shady Dealings...

Pisces: It's unfortunate how the former members of EXO were treated when they decided to leave. Instead of being able to part amicably, apparently Tao even had some choice words for Kris....and then in another vein for Luhan to be cut out of EXOLOGY...? Even his episodes from EXO 90:2014 were unavailable

Aqua: So what, you leave,file a lawsuit and they get rid of the evidence that you were there??? If that's the case then they need to delete MAMA, History, Wolf, Miracles in December, both Growl music videos, EXO Showtime, and EXO Planet #2: The Lost Planet concert DVDs. If you're gonna delete stuff be thorough. Don't just leave the things that made you money. Ah but that's the thing isn't it. Those songs and concerts made you money and notoriety. You can't get rid of those huh SM.

Pisces: Just showing their true form. It all comes down to the dollars and cents. They were probably very upset with how their stock and brand reputation took a hit. But they also have a history with other groups...unfortunately nothing has influenced them to change their tune.

Pisces: Even with Kris citing health concerns and his fellow members following suit because it was true and we can all see that other members who have remained were affected as well....just further proves the point that they're not always looking out for the members. They are but they aren't.

Aqua: They take care of them enough to take care of the bottom line. That's it.

Pisces: Yea. That's it. That's all.

Aqua: And it truly shows just how petty SM is for deleting that stuff. That's a new level of petty. "We'll delete solo things you did with the group but keep the group stuff up there." That's why I call them Shady Motherf***ers.

Pisces: Too bad for them that the three of them have continued to rise despite all they're trying to do to stop them

Aqua: And that begs the question, is this why they're being a little more lenient with the remaining members? Have they now realized just how much fame they gave those 12 guys that once leaving they are still set for life and can continue to be successful without SM backing them? Have they realized just how amazingly talented this divinely created group of men are?

Pisces: Sure as silver looks like it

Aqua: They need to be really nice to OT9. For example, "Freal Luv" can be a blessing and a curse to them. That song unleashed Chanyeol to the world of non-KPop fans. I have friends who know that song and have talked about how dope it is (Yes, Pisces is my only K-Pop loving friend). He's got his foot in the true international door. He could leave if he wanted to. And Sehun and Kai with these photo shoots.....Honey, all the runways in Paris, Milan, New York, etc. would love to be graced with their presence as well as do some editorials. D.O. is taking the film world by storm and would be free to release some more "Tell Me (What is Love)-esque" music. (fingers crossed that he actually releases more slow jams). And I could keep going but the point has been made. These men now have options. They're still together because they love each other. Yeah, they're still under contract but the kinship that they've created and the bond that they share sees them through all those rough times and they want to hold on to each other which is why they're not going anywhere any time soon. They could but could they come back together as a group as EXO without SM? Nope, because SM's shady, petty asses would slap them with the same thing they slapped on the others who left, using SM related material. So where can they go and stay together?

Pisces: Who knows maybe something will come through in the end?

Pisecs: It's frustrating to feel like in a way SM is who we owe our gratitude to for helping the guys to be put on. But it's like they bring them just close enough so they can delve in various projects, showcasing their potential but they can't go too much further than what has been provided. Promise will always be the testament to all EXO-L's that EXO is capable of so much. What is SM so afraid of? They'll always get the credit but the guys were born with talent and they have certainly helped to set them up for success...but with the restrictions that are also placed on them and the way their former members were treated (Baekhyun slipped many times saying the twelve of us and one can only imagine the tongue lashing he must have gotten about that. Kris and Luhan were seen meeting by chance at the airport and their staff pushed the two away from each other when they were catching up like we all do with old friends. "Hey! Wow long time no see." "Yea you too....call me sometime so we can link up!") What are they so afraid of...? Their idols actually being people and not robots...? The ruse was broken long before EXO. The cracks in their foundation have been showing for some time. There is a better way to House talent and inspire men and women to be great. You don't have to subject them to this level of total bullshit

Aqua: It just makes them look like a salty ex saying "you can't stay friends with my friends." Well, if you were the problem, not the other ex and they were always cool, then what's the problem. Yeah, they met through you but they developed a real friendship. You're just mad that they don't want you're crazy ass no more. Stop looking like the bitter ex SM.

Pisces: One of these days...

Aqua: Maybe that's why they can identify with the immature fans. HA!

Pisces: Maybe it is why.....honestly surprised that we're able to hand over information meant to legally handle situations where EXO has been mistreated in order to help them save their brand reputation, etc but we've yet to hold them accountable for the yearly bull shit