#finally got to see the slutty robot

[insufferable-homestuck]

upd8!

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika and reader’s daughter is getting ready to go prom and sevika gives her date a hard time

I absolutely love your work 💓💓💓💓💓

this is so fucking cute. UGH

men and minors dni

sevika cries the night before little fucker's prom. not in front of her, just in your arms that night, silently soaking your pajama shirt as she cries about your daughter growing up.

"she was a baby just yesterday!" she whines. you giggle and press a kiss to her head.

"she's growing up, honey." you say, tearing up too. sevika sniffles.

"oh god, what if she has sex tomorrow night?" she asks. you laugh.

"oh please, like you weren't juggling three girls by the time you were eighteen." you tease her. sevika groans.

"i know, i'm worried she's got my slutty tendencies!" you burst into laughter.

"she'll be fine. at least she can't get pregnant with her little girlfriend." you tease. sevika groans again.

"god, i don't trust that girl one bit." she mumbles. you laugh.

"sev, she's a sweet kid. she obviously adores our girl, you saw her promposal."

your daughter's date to the prom is a sweet, quiet girl, who 'promposed' to her with a big bouquet of her favorite flowers, a bag of her favorite fast food, and tickets to a movie she's been dying to see. she's got your stamp of approval. sevika's is gonna be a bit harder to earn.

sevika gasps in your arms suddenly.

"what?" you ask, panicked.

"fuck, babe, in five years we could be grandmas." she groans. you laugh.

"oh please, you'd love having another baby around."

"not yet!" she cries. "we're too young! she's too young!"

"she might not even want kids, sev."

sevika's silent for a minute, considering this. then, "she fucking better. if she doesn't have one soon, i'm getting you pregnant again. i want another baby." she says. you burst into laughter.

"i don't think that'll work babe, but you can try all you want." you offer, opening your legs around your wife. she grins, her tears gone, and she shoots up to kiss you.

"deal."

the next day, sevika cries on and off from the moment she wakes up.

as you help little fucker do her makeup, sevika stands in the corner sobbing.

as she helps little fucker curl her hair, sevika's tears keep falling onto her head.

when she slips into her suit-- sevika breaks down.

"oh fuck!" she cries, wrapping her arms around your daughter. she groans.

"ma, get her off of me! she's gonna ruin my suit!" your girl wails as she tries to wiggle out of sevika's grip. sevika doesn't let go, not until you pull her away by her ear.

"just wait until your wedding day, kid." you tease your girl. she rolls her eyes, and sevika whimpers.

"why would you say that?" sevika wails, a fresh round of tears bubbling up in her eyes. you laugh and kiss her tears away, and beside you, your little girl gags.

when her date arrives, all of sevika's tears disappear, a glare taking over her features.

the girl pulls up in a car and walks to the door with a bouquet of flowers in her shaky hands.

your daughter is vibrating with excitement as she answers the door and lets her girlfriend in, and it makes you a little emotional. they're so fucking cute.

her girlfriend tries her best. sevika doesn't make it easy.

"i'm so excited to finally meet you mrs. and m--"

"save it." sevika grunts. you elbow her and sevika elbows you back.

your daughter facepalms. "mom--"

"what're your intentions with my daughter tonight?" sevika asks. you bite your lip to keep from laughing at the cringes on your daughter and her girl's face.

"i-- uh-- d-dancing?" she asks. "w-we've got reservations at an italian place after, and there's an afterparty at--"

"afterparty!?" sevika exclaims. you snort and elbow her again.

"i already told you mom!" your daughter whines. "at robby's house-- you know, nerdy robby? robotics club captain?"

sevika's glare lessens, but doesn't dissappear. "nerds can get into just as much trouble as any--"

"sev." you cut her off, shooting her a glance. quit embarrassing our poor kid. you telepathically tell her. she glares at you.

it's my job to embarrass her, it gives her character. sevika's glare responds. you roll your eyes.

"can i get a few pictures of you kids before you go? you look so cute in your matching suit and dress." you say, distracting the teenagers from your wife's glare. your daughter's new beau nods so hard you think her head might fall off her neck. you laugh and guide them outside to pose in front of the flowers in the front garden.

as you snap pictures, sevika hovers over your shoulder the entire time.

your daughter grabs her girlfriends hand, and you can physically feel the way sevika cringes. when her girlfriend rests her hands around your daughter's waist, sevika has to look away. and when they kiss, sevika groans.

"okay! fuck, save it until you're married." she says. you snort.

"when did you become such a prude?" your daughter asks, glaring at sevika. sevika glares back.

"i've always been a prude. i've never had sex in my life. and you shouldn't either." she says. you laugh.

"i heard you and ma going at it this morning in the shower!" your daughter exclaims. you watch in amusement as her date blushes red as a tomato.

"okay!" you interrupt before the poor girl has a heart attack. "you two should get going." you say, walking your daughter and her date toward her car on the street.

her date sprints to the driver's side, slamming the door behind her, sufficiently terrified of sevika, and trying to get away as fast as possible. it makes you laugh.

you and sevika wrap your little fucker up in a big, tight hug before she can slip in the passenger's seat, pressing kiss after kiss to her hair. she giggles between the two of you.

"you guys are horrible." she complains. you laugh.

"hey, that's all mom. i've been a perfectly normal parent all evening--" you try to defend yourself. you're met with twin glares from your wife and daughter.

"you wanted me to!" sevika accuses.

"you barely stopped her!" your daughter shouts.

you laugh. "both of those statements are false!"

your kid groans, and sevika kisses her forehead again.

"call us if you need a ride. i don't care what time it is or where you are-- we'll come get you. and your little girlfriend too." she says.

"i know, mom." little fucker groans.

"and don't drink anything you didn't make yourself!" you say. she rolls her eyes.

"there's not even gonna be alc--"

"here." sevika interrupts her, shoving a dental dam, mini bottle of lube, and a condom into her suit's breast pocket. your daughter scoffs.

"oh, so you're suddenly all 'sex positive' again." she says. sevika shrugs.

"i don't want you having any sex until i'm dead and buried, but if you're gonna do it while i'm still alive, make sure it's safe." she says. your kid groans.

"i know, i know." she grumbles.

"take this." you say, handing her a folded wad of cash. "pay for her dinner tonight-- as an apology for our behavior."

your kid grins. "thanks, ma."

you hug her again, pressing kiss after kiss to her head. you're so distracted by loving on your daughter, that neither of you notice when sevika disentangles herself from your group hug to walk around the car and tap on the driver's side window.

"y-yes miss?" your daughter's date asks wearily as she rolls the window down. sevika glares down at her.

"you take care of her." she says. your daughter looks up from where she'd buried her face against your shoulder to watch their interaction in horror.

"yes ma'am."

"drive the limit. if you drink, or smoke, or do anything-- don't you dare get behind the wheel, you hear me?" she asks. the poor girl nods again.

"y--"

"take this." sevika says, handing the girl another dental dam, condom, and mini bottle of lube. you chuckle, your daughter groans, and her girlfriend's eyes nearly pop out of her head.

"this is so humiliating." your kid mumbles. you giggle.

"hey-- if she sticks around after this, then you know she's a keeper." you tease. your girl snorts.

"mom leave her alone!" she calls.

"you gotta pen?" sevika asks. you watch as the girl scrambles for a pen and paper, handing it to your wife. sevika scrawls something onto the paper, then hands it back. "my number. call if you need anything." she says. the girl gulps and nods.

"oh my god." your kid groans. "she's gonna dump me after this."

you laugh. "no she's not." you say. "when she wasn't cowering in fear 'cause of your mom, the only thing she was looking at this entire time was you. i think you've got her hooked, honey." you say. little fucker melts, a shy smile creeping up her face.

"yeah." she says dreamily. you press a solid kiss to her head, and hug her one more time.

"be safe. but have some fun, yeah?" you ask. she nods at you. "and tell your girl we're really sorry. mom won't always be like this-- it's just how she shows she cares."

"i know."

sevika comes back to wrap your girl in a hug, kissing her again.

"love you, kid." she says.

"love you too." she says, squished between the two of you.

when she finally worms her way out of your arms, she hops into the car and leans over the console to press a kiss to her girlfriend's cheek. you grin at the way the girl's look of horror quickly melts, a shy smile taking its place.

"bye!" you call as the car starts up, waving at the girls.

as soon as the car turns the corner, sevika's crying again.

"fuck! she's gonna be in college soon-- what are we gonna do without her annoying ass bothering us all the time?" she asks, crying into your shoulder. you laugh, pressing a kiss to her scalp.

"i've got a few ideas." you say, trailing your hands down to grab your wife's ass. her crying ceases, and she looks up from your shoulder with a cocky smirk.

"oh yeah?" she asks. you giggle and shrug.

"when's the last time we fucked on the couch? or the counter?" you ask. sevika grins, then ducks down to hoist you over her shoulder, running back into the house.

you squeal and laugh the entire way.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[zorilleerrant]

but pursuant to that post about Brucie Wayne being slutty Batman for Halloween. okay. imagine Gothamites voted in some news channel poll or other. and demanded the Waynes dress up as the Batfam. so they're doing it for charity. ok

Bruce: slutty Batman. choker. bat ear headband. eye shadow

Kate: straight up showed up in leather pants and a bustier. they're not even the right color. her necklace is an official Batwoman product but it's also just a bat on a chain. she did a swirl in her eyeliner to mimic a domino mask. at least she's wearing the right wig.

Beth: Harley Quinn, and getting a lot of flack for it. it's not actually Harley's clothes, but Harley did help her pick them out. it's, like, Batfam Harley, tho, not villain Harley (why are people being so mean when she intentionally didn't dress as Red Alice)

Dick: custom tux designed to be Nightwing blue and black. fitted. gorgeous. little gloves with fingerstripes. actually wearing the same eyeshadow as Bruce and they gave each other dirty looks over it

Luke: an old suit he had, covered in LEDs because he finally got a chance to play with making a lightup suit. no it doesn't do anything but it does have a really convincing Batwing profile, especially once you spotlight him and look at his shadow. he has a domino on to complete the look. it also has LEDs

Jason: not wearing a costume. forgot. also showed up in his red hoodie and leather coat so

Tim: regular tux. Hello My Name Is Red Robin sticker

Steph: easter bunny suit she got on sale (can you believe that??) spray painted purple and with a bat stuck on the front in gold glitter. no it is not sealed yes it is falling everywhere

Cass: totally normal ballgown, not custom made (but fitted). originally Halloween themed, so it does have bats on it, as well as spiders and spiderwebs, in tasteful beads and embroidery. there's a silvery spiderweb collar on it that arguably passes for a Batsymbol. masquerade mask with lots of swirls, black arm length gloves, no her shoes don't have heels but you can't see them either

Damian: his actual Robin costume. refused to wear anything less than the best, plus convenient once something goes wrong. keeps getting corrected on details all night

Duke: cheapest grocery store Signal costume he could find, all foam and weird pointy plastic bits. too small of course, so he added in extra fabric. it is silk. it is NOT the same yellow.

Claire: Gotham Girl themed dress that wasn't intended as a costume, it's just a tennis dress that's in the right colors and patterns. also a hoodie that was originally a Batman hoodie and has an iron-on patch on top of the Batman logo. plus these cool boots she found

Helena: thought they were taking this seriously. is alternately laughing and annoyed. actually contacted a semi-professional cosplayer and commissioned a Huntress costume and appeared in multiple process videos, did a whole promotional photoshoot. she has won an award for it

Babs: carboard boxes that look sort of robot-y with a carefully painted Oracle face, part of a series of projects the library did in the lead-up to this charity event, where kids and teens could make their own costumes. and they wanted to make one for Babs

Alfred: the Batmobile. hand stitched. felt

[sub-danny]

What do you think the subbies favorite thing about sex is or is it after sex maybe the for play?

Zemo:

I think Zemo not only loves just how good the sex makes him feel in general, but he also loves the intimacy of it. He's been stuck in prison for a very long time, not being able to talk to anyone else or to experience any physical contact so to have you there looking after him, treating him, giving him that special contact. It makes him feel so loved and treasured after so long of being alone. (He also loves the after sex as well, being able to snuggle up to you, maybe eat some good together etc)

Laszlo:

Also big on after sex, like this man has been touch-deprived his whole life and been brought up to feel like he doesn't deserve any of his success. He needs a lot of comfort, and while the sex is certainly nice that emotional intimacy after the sex is what will make him cry from happiness because he feels so loved by you and that's his favourite thing.

Andrea:

Oh, Andrea loves the sex. He loves feeling good and he loves overstimulation as well, being on the verge of crying from how good you are making him feel. He also loves being cheeky towards you as well as part of the foreplay but yeah what he loves most of all is how good you make him feel.

Niki:

He really enjoys the foreplay where he is being bratty (aka his usual self) because then he gets to see how you punish him, and no matter how much he might complain about it, he secretly really enjoys the punishment. He does love the sex however especially when you are being quite rough with him.

Ernst:

Big fan of foreplay, he loves how you know just how to turn him on, be it kissing him down his neck, running your hands all over him, ordering him about, he loves loves loves it. Of course, he loves the sex as well, he's a much more intimate guy as well when it comes to it but yeah the foreplay is always one of his favourite parts.

Alex:

He would find it hard to choose one part because frankly, he loves all of it, he loves being able to serve you, do everything for you, he wants to be there to make you feel good and while he enjoys his own pleasure of course which you always give him, what makes him the happiest is seeing how pleased you are with him and how good you feel as well. So that includes the foreplay, the actual sex and the after play, he loves it all.

Sebastian:

Definitely the sex. I say Andrea is a slut, but like let's face it, out of all of them Sebastian is definitely the most slutty. He loves feeling good, he loves the sex, he loves moaning loudly as you push him onto the bed. If he had his way neither of you two would ever leave the bed. He might not be that big on aftercare but he tries to put in the effort of course for foreplay though usually, it's you doing it to him, but it's the sex where he certainly comes into full play, giving it everything he's got.

David:

He loves the foreplay, the excitement of it as he realises what's to come, how you keep kissing him and slowly melting away all the worries he had in his mind till just his excitement and love for you takes over. He loves sex and aftercare as well but the foreplay just makes him so excited and smiley.

Tony:

Definitely, a fan of aftercare, like with Laszlo he's touch deprived and for a lot of his life has felt almost like a failure to his father because his father didn't accept him, but finally, he is ready to date you and he loves feeling that love and finally feeling accepted for who he is with you. He just feels so satisfied and happy after, it's perfect.

Alex Garel:

Also enjoys foreplay like David, it distracts him from working on his robots as sometimes he gets a bit too obsessed with them and forgets other things he needs to do like eat and sleep, but when you start to kiss his neck, pull him upstairs, whisper dirty things over to him, then all he can focus on is you and he loves it.

[kathyprior4200]

A Villainous Meeting

 “Good morning, my fucklings!”

 Verosika Mayday, the pink succubus, strolled into the room, wearing her high heels, heart-shaped sunglasses, short black and white dress and her faux pink scarf. She blew a bubble of pink gum before spitting it out in a nearby trash can. The fellow employees sat at a cracked black round table with bloodstained high-backed chairs with eyes on the tops. The Wrath Ring imp Striker merely smirked and nodded as he fiddled with the wheat stalk in his mouth. He wore his usual gray and brown cowboy gear with a hat and boots. Fizzarolli, the robotic jester imp, looked around eagerly at the small office room decorated with circus posters and porn magazine covers. Verosika was shown in a seductive pose with her gang on one poster, while another poster showed a sinister Fizzarolli with handcuffs advertising a “Loo Loo Land’s Fizzy Buddy, Brand New Vibrating Toy, Use At Your Own Risk!” A few pictures here and there displayed Striker riding his black hell-horse BulletProof through the desert with a mane and tail of fire. Finally, Vortex, the dark grey hellhound bodyguard, stared at his phone, wearing all black clothing.

 They were located somewhere in the Lust Ring under a pink sky in an abandoned building that looked like a warehouse from the outside. Spray-painted in red were the words “D.I.C.K. Headquarters,” on the door to the office.

 “Remind me why you choose “dick” to be our name?” Striker muttered to Verosika.

 “It’s spelled D.I.C.K. It stands for Demonic Immediate Crazed Killers,” Verosika replied. “Figured it described all of us well, because we do what I.M.P. does, only better.”

 “You and your sexual innuendos,” Striker began, and then winked. “I like it.” Fizzarolli giggled.

 Verosika cleared her throat. “Do any of you fuckers know why we’re here?”

 “Because I took this job after you and I got drunk and did a one night stand?” Striker asked with a smirk.

 “No!” Verosika bellowed in anger, though she knew it was true. She then blushed and stepped back. “I drank too much beelzejuice after returning back from Earth, alright? And you happened to be there staring at me with lust in your eyes with a bottle of Inferno 66 in hand. Let me tell you, sucking prisoner dick with your gang is worse than eating shit out of a toilet. Besides, I needed some time to recover after having to walk around after Blitzo took my parking spot. When we were together, he left me to pay for the hotel room, rang three rings around Wrath and maxed my credit card...”

 “…on shitty horse-riding lessons, yeah yeah, I got it,” Striker said with a wave of his hand. “You told us the story like five times.”

 “Is it because that imp was so jealous of my accomplishments at the circus that he set all of Loo-Loo Land on fire and allowed my robotic counterpart Robo Fizz to get eaten by a dragon?” asked Fizzarolli.

 “How did you hear about that?” Vortex asked without looking up.

 Fizzarolli turned nervous. “My boss Mammon heard about the incident and was furious. He said that unless I helped boost sales, fix the theme park and capture him…”

 “Yeah, I know how you feel,” Verosika sighed. “My gang and I got a bunch of warnings and threats from daddy Ozzie.”

 “You mean Asmodeus?” asked Vortex.

 “Yeah. He wasn’t very happy that I nearly exposed the humans to the existence of demons. We go topside in disguise to feed on their lust every spring. If Blitzo hadn’t kept that fact secret…well let’s just say Valentino pales in comparison to what Ozzie can do to you.”

 Everyone shivered at the prospect of the Ring Overlords’ plans.

 “To answer your question, Verosika, it is because I failed to kill that pompous owl prince Stolas?” Striker asked. “I was this close to finishing off that wimp imp and persuading Blitzo to join me. He’s a formidable fighter, and he’s half succubus.”

 Verosika crossed her arms. “There’s nothing special about him. He just pushes people away when they get too close and only cares about his job, murder and his stupid horses!”

 “Hmm…he’d be a fun little toy to play with,” Striker mused as Fizzarolli smirked. “We can all agree on that, right?”

 Everyone but Vortex murmured in agreement.

 “Yes,” Verosika called, shoulders square. “That is the reason why we’re all here. Because of them!”

 Verosika pointed to the whiteboard which had pictures of Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona and Stolas pinned on it. Several knives were stuck inside the pictures and scribbles in red on the white board read “Fuck I.M.P.!” “Striker Is Better Than You!” “Fizzarolli Was Here!” and “Verosika, Call Me For a Good Time!”

 “And I’m gonna led this shit!” she added.

 “What makes you the leader?” Striker inquired with a raised eyebrow.

 “I’m not the leader per se. Stella organized this group and Striker recruited us,” Verosika explained. “Though I’m technically higher than imps, sinners and hellhounds, so I say the position is a good fit.”

 Striker scowled. “We get treated like scum in Wrath enough as it is. I ain’t gonna play nice if you don’t show me some respect.”

 “Prove to me you’re better than that scumbag Blitzo.”

 “I already did…in bed at the club, remember?”

 Fizzarolli laughed much to Verosika’s disgust.

 “While I will admit it felt amazing, that’ll be the last time I ever sleep with an imp. And I certainly don’t need some rogue cowboy to get in the way of my revenge.”

 “Need I remind you, missy,” said Striker, “That I’m the one who recruited you and the jester in the first place? After you were getting over your hangover, you told me to fuck off or else your friends would have their fun with me.”

 “Yeah, and?”

 “I then noticed your heart tattoo on your shoulder with “Blitzo” crossed out. Then I asked, ‘Having imp problems, too? Wishing to see a certain imp?’”

 “And I said ‘no, none of your damn business, imp.’”

 Striker continued, “But then I told you, ‘I’m on a covert mission to take down a worthless royal…and to meet up with I.M.P.s leader. Perhaps I could offer you my services to you, monetary and otherwise, if you could tell me more about him.’”

 “Yes and I did,” she said. “I remembered Robo Fizz back when I worked in the circus with Blitzo and figured he’d be a good person to talk to.”

 “Hmpth,” Fizzarolli interrupted. “His business may be impressive, but his jokes were utterly pathetic! I got to be the star of the shows while he got to be alone and unloved! Ha!”

 Verosika briefly stared at him. “You sure you didn’t get jealous because Blitzo left you behind and made more money killing people?”

 Fizzarolli turned slightly red. “What?! No! How stupid are you?”

 “Perhaps smarter than you think,” Verosika remarked, her boobs bouncing slightly.

 “Get a room, love-fuckers!” Fizzarolli mocked to Striker and Verosika. “At least I was the first villain to appear in the show! First is the best! And my Ring is higher than yours!”

 “Oh partner, even a sex bot like you…”

 “I’m not a bot!”

 “…could never handle what’s under these jeans.”

 Striker smirked and continued the story. “Then I told slutty clown about Blitzo and he seemed to understand who he was,” said Striker. “I said, ‘A Goetia is giving me cash to kill a royal and that imp leader from I.M.P. What do you say we bask in riches, glory and chaos?’”

 “I remember saying, ‘Is this a scam? Loo Loo Land must be fixed!’” said Fizzarolli.

 Striker recalled what he said back to Fizzarolli,“’Mammon sent you off on a mission, didn’t he? Just like Asmodeus gave a warning to Verosika and what Stella did to me. All our stories and failures are connected. Connected because of what those imps did. If you can help me track down I.M.P. and that prince…no more worries for you.’”

 “The show must always go on,” mused Fizzarolli. “It wasn’t like I had many other options. As long as my boss is satisfied…”

 “And mine…” added Verosika.

 “And mine…” added Striker.

 “Indeed, we must all complete this mission, or else we’re all dead,” Verosika finished.

 “Double dead,” Vortex corrected in a low voice, making the others shiver. “The Seven Deadly Sins do have angelic weapons. You’ll wish you were frozen in the Ninth Circle.”

 “Hell only has seven,” Fizzarolli added.

 “Shut up.”

 “Loo Loo Land burned down, Asmodeus and Mammon got together, we took the Hellevator through the Ring portals and the rest is history,” said Verosika. “Now I’m stuck with an imp and a robot.”

 “I’m an imp!” Fizzarolli protested.

 “You’re just a robot,” Verosika replied.

 “With partial robotic features! The model for all Robo Fizzs made by Mammon himself!”

 “Still just a sex toy,” said Verosika.

 “A useful one, nevertheless. One who Stella herself deems valuable, right Striker?”

 “She did say to me, ‘I don’t care who you have to go through.’ Never thought I’d be dealing with a bunch of hooligans from other Rings,” Striker remarked.

 After several minutes of loud arguments and hisses, Vortex barked loudly. “Shut the fuck up!”

 Everyone then sat down in silence before Vortex stared at his phone again. “I never get paid enough for this shit,” he muttered.

 “Somebody tell me any useful information about I.M.P. before I lose my shit!” Verosika barked, almost going into her demonic shadow form.

 “The only reason why I’m here,” said Striker, his voice turning calmer and darker, “Is for my money from Stella. And revenge of course. Let me tell you where I think Blitzo will be at next.”

 The villains crept closer.

 “I came to the Lust Ring because I heard from Stella that this is where Stolas likes to “entertain” himself as it were.” His glowing eyes spiraled in yellow-green hypnotic circles. “Rumor has it that he goes to Ozzie’s place to cheer himself up. Heard he suffered quite a breakup from his dear hurt wife. And to have Stella potentially gain custody over his dear daughter…man that must’ve broken that bird’s heart.”

 “Oooh what a charming little theater!” Fizzarolli remarked. “Stripper dances, pole dances, lots of lustful siren songs. Winged imps serve you food and other imps are in cages for display! Hahahaha! It is almost as good as the Big Top in Loo Loo Land!”

 “Was, you mean,” Striker smirked before the jester seethed.

 “I still perform there,” Verosika said. “When I’m not traveling around the Rings on tour. Lust is my home, after all.”

 “Greed is mine!” Fizzarolli said.

 “You already know where I’m from,” said Striker. “No one fucking cares.”

 “Mammon and Asmodeus heard the news as well,” said Fizzarolli. “I heard Stella had a meeting with them at midnight last night. That was before we all got our orders to come here to Lust.”

 Vortex looked up in concern. “It’ll only be a matter of time before Lucifer hears about this, too. Not just about the trouble I.M.P. has caused, but now that humans know of Hell…”

 “Let’s focus on one problem at a time,” said Verosika with a deep breath. “We’re in no rush. It’s not like our leader’s gonna call us and demand…”

 Just then, Verosika’s pink computer beeped and rang.

 “Shit,” she muttered. “It’s her.”

 Everyone straightened up as Verosika pushed a button. Stella’s angry white feathered face appeared on the Zoom/Doom screen. She scrutinized all their faces with pink glowing eyes, her face appearing on the screen.

 “Striker,” Stella began, her golden crown shining on her head. “So this is the gang you recruited?”

 “Yes ma’am!” he grinned.

 “Hmm…” she pondered. There’s you…there’s some clown imp, there’s a fine-looking succubus…from who knows where…”

 “The clown is Fizzarolli or Robo Fizz,” said Striker. “The succubus is Verosika.”

 “Working for a queen, Striker?” Verosika asked. “How…”

 “Long story, I already told you,” Striker said. “She’s desperate…”

 “You bet that’s right!” Stella barked. “Then again, I’m…mildly impressed that you managed to get such a…diverse crew together.” She didn’t bother to hide her disgust. “Well done.”

 Striker beamed with pride.

 “But we’re far from done! You have no idea how long I’ve waited to properly unleash these feelings in me.”

 Fizzarolli giggled and Striker elbowed him hard.

 “That stupid prick of my husband thinks he can sleep all he wants with that assassin imp…in our fucking bed behind my back! If he stays any longer, my family will be a laughing stock. I’ll be stripped of my royal status and goodness knows what bad influence he’ll have on Octavia.”

 Stella paused, brief hurt in her voice. She didn’t dare cry, though. “Sometimes I wish he didn’t have to die. That all three of us could be a good family again like we once were. He could’ve been a proper responsible father, kept the grimoire safe from the imp, and none of this would’ve happened.”

 Fizzarolli cried tears at the rant while Vortex rolled his eyes. Striker yawned. Verosika, however, seemed to listen with a common understanding. She and Blitzo had been together and then they were broken up and fighting. Although she wanted power and revenge like Fizzarolli and Striker, she knew what it was like to get the short end of the stick in a relationship.

 “Then again, I was forced into marrying Stolas millennia ago by my parents. It’s obvious I’d concern myself with status and wealth and hold my resentment inside.”

 ‘All that wealth, all that power,’ thought Striker, greedily. ‘Watch her talk on and on until the rug slips from under her feet…and the glory becomes all mine!’

  “I love my daughter and Stolas…I really do…but…I must do what has to be done!” Right then, her regal imposing side was back.

 She stared into their eyes, glaring at Striker in particular. “First of all, if any of you land a finger on my daughter, I’ll make sure your screams are heard by every Ring in Hell. She must not be harmed. But…if I have to use Octavia as leverage as a last resort to bring Stolas to his knees…then so be it. I don’t care what we have to do…I just want him dead. Do you all understand?”

 “Yes ma’am,” said Striker. The others nodded.

 “Good. Now to review the plan. Stolas and I recently had our breakup. He will be going to the same place he always goes to when he’s upset: Ozzie’s place. If you spot I.M.P., follow them, but do not attack yet.”

 She continued. “Striker, your objective is the same: kill Stolas with your angelic weapons. Keep them safe in your hands at all times, but eliminate anyone who gets in your way.”

 Striker already glowered at Fizzarolli and Verosika who were staring closely at his pistol.

 “If you use it on anyone else important,” Stella said, suspicion already in her eyes. “I’ll fuck you with your own horns.”

 Striker nodded, with the tip of his hat.

 “Verosika, you will track down Blitzo and distract him inside the club,” said Stella. “Use any manipulative means necessary to catch him off guard. Fizzarolli, you and Asmodeus will sneak behind Moxxie and take down the other I.M.P. members. Verosika’s crew and some Robo Fizzs will also join in.”

 She added in a sing-song voice, “You’ll all receive an extra bonus and royalty favors if you bring me their heads!”

 Fizzarolli grinned. “This is gonna be so fun!”

 “The rewards. Striker, you’ll be rewarded by me for killing Stolas. 10,000 souls or more. And a new home in Wrath for you and your family.”

 Striker had to roll his eyes. He didn’t have a family anymore. He didn’t just want 10,000 souls. Now that he thought about it, he wanted much more.

 “Fizzarolli, Loo-Loo land will be repaired and you’ll get to lead future productions in Lu Lu World. Plus money, your own brand and perhaps…” she whispered so only he could hear, “…freedom.”

 “Oh goody!”

 “Verosika…more tours, more sex and money for you. You’ll be the star of every Ring in Hell.”

 Verosika grinned and fluffed her long pink-white hair.

 Stella smirked in a manner unfit for a queen. “And to make things a little more fun…as a way to show Stolas what his infidelity means…a special prize for the first one to kill Blitzo for me…”

 She playfully massaged her boobs under her pink dress. All the villains minus Vortex blushed in delight and shock as they knew what she was implying. Verosika’s gang in the far back of the room watched while eating popcorn. Vortex made a face of disgust.

 Seconds later, Stella was regal again. “And you there, dog!” Stella called, making Vortex look up. “Verosika has a special assignment for you.”

 “What?” he asked.

 “Keep a close eye on that loony hellhound of theirs,” Verosika grinned deviously.

 Worry was etched onto Vortex’s face as he nodded. Though he had a girlfriend, he had found Loona adorable at the beach on Earth. He couldn’t believe what he had to do now.  

 “I’ll keep you updated on Stolas’ whereabouts and when it’s time to move,” Stella finished. “Do not disappoint me.”

 The screen went dark.

 “Well, that’s a wrap folks,” said Verosika. “Meeting dismissed. Fuck around, get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow.”

 Verosika took out her phone and began texting.

 “Who are you texting?” Vortex asked.

 “There’s this pink southern succubus sinner named Martha,” Verosika grinned. “She says she leads an army in the name of Satan and they want blood after being killed by you know who on Earth. Ralphie and her two kids live with her there. She also wants this Mayberry sinner dead.”

 “What does that mean?” Striker asked.

 Verosika grinned. “It means…we have a potential ally in the Pride Ring!”

 “Awesome!” said Fizzarolli. “Their enemies keep growing and growing!”

 The villains laughed.

 “With so many souls seeking revenge, I.M.P. won’t know what hit ‘em!” Fizzarolli cackled.

 “Yes, but let’s focus on our main mission first,” said Striker. “Perhaps we’ll have the honor of getting to them first!”

 The villains laughed again and retired to bed.

 ‘This plan better work,’ Striker thought. ‘Because Stolas’ blood will not be the only blood that’ll be on my hands soon enough…’

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

yusaku is basically trying to solve years of prejudice without any solid plan, and while hes wonderful and doing his best and has the right idea, its not a thing that can be easily solved. i think, for his situation, hes doing the best he can, but windy and lightning, who hate humans, and ryoken, who has been raised to despise and want to destroy the ignis, are too stubborn in their beliefs to change. ryoken btw, is one of the weirdest characters ngl. i cannot figure out this dudes thought process, but i guess when your first attempt at compassion leads your father into a lifelong coma, you probably arent gonna be the kindest person. its just like,,, he got character development and then said ‘no fuck you’ and other than intense homoerotic tension (as is normal for ygo rivals), i cant figure out what he and yusakus relationship is????? neither of them like express emotion all that much (or at least in an easily understandable way, nd gang) so its hard to understand any of what they actually mean. ai, on the other hand, is my beloved. stupid fruity lil artificial intelligence, obsessed. is he probably evil? yeah but hes funny -jester anon

Yeahhhh, pretty much same thoughts when it comes to Ryoken, like. I couldn't figure out whether or not I liked him for the longest time, and it deadass wasn't until the tail end of season 2 that I finally decided on "I think he's alright". Guy sure is an enigma. I think that when they're not actively working against each other, Ryoken Does like Yusaku, but you've gotta really squint to see it. He definitely only gets better as the show goes on.

Ai is honestly in my top three favorites for Vrains (the other two being Kusanagi and Roboppi, love hot dog man and trans robot icon), he's just... Such a dumb little fruit. A whore. A slutty robot. I love him. As to whether or not he's evil... Well. His motives are complex.

[jeranasblog]

You can talk to me about anything

Summary: Peter asks Tony to fulfill one of his fantasies. 

Rating: E

Notes:  This story is my 10th @starkercestevent​ contribution. Kink for the 10th story: Role Play. Click here for the Bingo Masterlist.

Warnings: Adoptive Father/Adoptive Son, don’t like it, don’t read it

Read on Ao3

Peter was thinking about it for months, even before he had done anything with his Daddy. 

 Everything started when Tony was on a business trip in Europe, presenting the latest tech of Stark Industries and the house was empty for the entire weekend. Peter, who had still been pinning for his Daddy back then, looked forward to having the apartment all for himself, not to throw a party but to get off without being afraid to cry his Daddy’s name out loud for once. He tended to become so riled up close to his climax, that he frequently had to muffle the begging for his Daddy in a pillow and he was afraid his Daddy would find out one day. 

 So Peter hardly imagine anything better than jerking off in peace, maybe even using his favorite vibrator that was too loud to switch on when his Daddy was home. He opened the porn site he always visited, one hand already shoved into his boxers, looking for the ‘Daddy porn’ section he was familiar with by now. 

 The first video was short, about ten minutes long and only helped to bring him to orgasm once. His arousal had built up over months. Months of hidden jerk off sessions and quick fingering when his Daddy was still at work, therefore Peter decided to drag it out this day, coming at least twice in the evening. 

 His mind already foggy with pleasure, Peter didn’t read the headlines anymore and suddenly, he found himself watching roleplay porn the entire evening. Car drivers getting fucked by bulky police officers, little twinks bouncing on their teacher’s lap, and patients taking everything up their ass for their doctors. Ashamed, Peter started to realize that he not only wanted to get fucked by his adoptive father, no, he also wanted to pretend to be someone else sometimes. 

 The thought never let go of him, not even when his secret was finally disclosed by his Daddy. In all these months, his mind had traveled back, and since Tony and he stayed home a lot because of Pierce anyway, Peter gave it a shot. He used all his courage and decided to confront his Daddy with his request on a Sunday morning. 

 “Daddy?” He was nervous, fumbling with the sleeves of his oversized sweater and unconsciously biting his lips. Usually, his Daddy initiated new things in the bedroom, Peter had never come up with an idea before, but he was finally feeling secure in their relationship. Tony wouldn’t leave him, he would protect and cherish him, even if he wouldn’t like his idea. 

 The Alpha was sitting on the couch in the living room, skimming through the economy section of the newspaper. He wore his reading glasses and comfy pants, but he was still radiating confidence. When Peter entered the room, he raised his head, looking at him expectantly and waiting for the Omega to speak. 

 Peter couldn’t look him in the eyes, his gaze fixed on the floor. In his head, approaching the Alpha had been easy, but as soon as he really had to talk about his fantasy, the courage was leaving him. Tony seemed to sense his struggle. 

 “Baby, come here,” he put the newspaper aside and gestured the Omega to take a seat on his lap. Without a doubt, Peter followed the command and snuggled close to the Alpha’s chest. His scent was calming, lulling Peter in a feeling of being home and before he could change his opinion, he blurted out his thoughts. 

 “Iwannatalkaboutafantasy.” 

  After his words, he hid his face against his Daddy’s chest. He was blushing furiously, but at the same time he was relieved he got the sentence out at all. Tony stroked his back and pressed soft kisses on his forehead. 

 “Don’t be afraid, baby. You can talk with me about anything you wanna try. The worst that could happen is me telling you I don’t like it, but I promise, I won’t laugh, and I won’t judge you for it. Just give it a try.”

 Peter closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and gathered all his courage together. “I want you to fuck me as someone else.”

 After the conversation with his Daddy, a few days passed. Tony had been willing to try, had even loved the ideas Peter had. He had been proud of him to talk about his fantasies, to ask for things he wanted, especially because Peter was usually pretty shy. However, the Alpha hadn’t made any attempts to initiate roleplay between them, so after a few days, the thoughts faded into the back of his mind. 

 Peter was busy anyway, working on a project for one of his classes. He was supposed to build a robot and it should have been easy, but he had made one mistake in his programing code and wasn’t able to find it. Over hours and hours, frustration was building inside of him until he finally gave up and asked his Daddy for help. 

 “How can I help you, Peter?” Although his Daddy rarely called him ‘Peter’, he didn’t suspect anything yet, too frustrated from not finding the mistake. 

 “I just can’t find the fucking mistake,” he ran his fingers through his hair until he looked wrecked, his lips swollen from how often he had bitten on them. This shit was driving him crazy and he definitely needed a break. 

 Tony, however, didn’t react like Peter expected him to. “Language.”

 The Omega couldn’t stop himself from looking up stunned. Usually, his Daddy didn’t mind him cursing, even encouraged him from letting his feelings out, but today he scolded him for his language? However, one gaze at his Daddy’s face was enough for him to understand what was going on.

 He knew his Alpha so well by now he could read every single sign of arousal and seeing his dilated pupils and his hungry gaze made it obvious for him where they were heading. In an instant, his mood changed from frustrated to playful.

 “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark,” he lowered his gaze bashfully. “I forgot my manners for a second.”

 “It’s all right, Peter,” Tony’s chuckle was dark, promising the things he would do to him and Peter trembled under his voice. Anticipation was filling him, lightening every cell of his body and making him squirm in delight. “Now tell me what the problem is.”

 “Every time I turn on the robot, the program crashes after a few seconds. There must be an error in the code, but I can’t seem to find it.” He tried his best to sound innocent and he looked pleadingly at Tony with wide eyes. 

 His Daddy’s gaze turned predatory, and he smirked as he leaned forward. One hand was propped on the back of Peter’s chair while the other one was resting on his thigh, a little too high to be considered appropriate. Tony pretended to look on the screen of the computer, his face close to Peter’s neck and he could feel his Daddy’s breath grazing his skin.

 Peter wanted to throw his head back, wanted to offer it to his Daddy. Tension was building between them and slowly the Omega felt himself getting wet. The scent of his arousal must have filled the room by now, but his Daddy didn’t react besides a subtle stumble in his breath. Peter was fighting against himself, fighting to remain in his role. He wanted this, he wanted to try it out, so there was no way he would ruin this with his neediness. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, t-that’s inappropriate,” his voice was trembling, not from outrage but arousal. 

 “I’m sorry, Peter. I didn’t pay attention.” Tony sounded truly apologetic, but he didn’t take away his hand. Instead, he started to draw circles on Peter’s thigh, his hand wandering higher and higher until he was almost touching his cock. Peter couldn’t stop the moan that slipped past his lips. Acting horrified, he slapped his hand over his mouth, even though it had been too late anyway. Tony’s smirked made it crystal clear that he had heard his noise. 

 “I need some time to find the mistake, Peter,” his Daddy said smugly. “Scoot over, let me have a closer look at the screen.” 

 Peter obeyed hurryingly, standing up to offer him the chair, but before he could even take a step aside, the Alpha had sat down and pulled him onto his lap, back to chest. He could feel the huge bulk pressed against his ass, could feel that the drenched fabric of his pants was rubbing all over Tony’s crotch. For a second, his eyes fluttered close in arousal, his hips moving once and twice, creating delicious friction against his covered hole before he caught himself and reminded him what this was about. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, you can’t just…, it’s not proper, I…”

 “Shh.” This time, Tony’s voice wasn’t teasing anymore but filled with Alpha command. “Be quiet, Peter and stop wiggling, I can’t find the mistake when you act like a needy bitch. Better be glad if I still give you a good grade, even though you need my help with your project.”

 Humiliation was crashing through his body, making his insides tingle with pleasure. Slick was gushing out of him in waves, clouding the air with the sweet scent and he had to fight every urge inside of him to stop himself from moving. Just the imagination that Tony was his professor, using his authority to force the Omega onto his lap, was enough for him to see stars. 

 Tony continued staring at the screen, searching for the mistake in Peter’s code. His focus wasn’t on Peter and the thought made him even hotter. Slowly, his thighs started to tremble under the strain of staying still and when Tony’s finger found one of his nipples, he moaned like a whore for the first time. 

 Suddenly, the focus of the Alpha was back on him again. “Peter, you should be ashamed of yourself,” the disappointed felt almost real. “I try to help you and you act like a needy bitch, getting your slick all over me. At least get off your pants, they are drenched and filthy.”

 The words were the last straw and he started to move his hips again. Being accused of acting slutty, even though his Daddy had pulled him onto his lap, was enough to make his hole clench, to make him shiver with arousal. He knew he was easy for the Alpha, and if his Daddy had been his professor, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stay away from him as well, the attraction between them too intense. 

 A loud smack on his ass made him jump, the slight pain mixing with his arousal. “I said take off your pants. Do I have to repeat myself? Don’t you want a good grade anymore?”

 Oh, god. Peter moaned and scrambled off his Daddy’s lap, pulling down his trousers and his panties until he could finally feel the air against his dripping hole. Everything was turning him on, and before he could think twice, he was back on Tony’s lap, rubbing himself all over the Alpha’s trousers. 

 Tony growled in pretended anger. “What do you think you're doing here? Isn’t it already enough that you are a needy mess, now you ruin my pants as well?” He received a second smack on his naked ass and his eyes rolled back from the delicious pain. 

 “I’m so so sorry, Mr. Stark.” Peter looked at him with watering eyes, his lower lip trapped between his teeth. “I didn’t want it, I swear. Please don’t let me fail this class.”

 The words coaxed the first purr of the evening out of his Daddy. “I forgive you, one last time, but only if you’re good for me. Come on, get me out of my ruined pants, show me how sorry you are.” Eagerly, Peter dashed forward, opening his pants and pulling them down with his boxers. His Daddy’s thick cock was finally free, leaking furiously and Peter wanted nothing more than to choke on it.

 “Make yourself useful, boy.” Tony gestured him to sit between his spread legs, his cock twitching in anticipation of the wet heat of Peter’s mouth, but the Omega lowered his gaze ashamed. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, I can’t. It’s inappropriate.”

 The words made the Alpha growl furiously and he grabbed Peter’s neck, forcing him to his knees and pressed his cock into his mouth without giving him time to get used to it. “Slowly, I start to think you don’t want to pass this class,” he growled while Peter was gagging around his thick cock. “I asked you to make yourself useful and I don’t want to repeat myself.” 

 With a high-pitched whimper, Peter started to work, bobbing his head up and down and savoring his Daddy on his tongue. He trailed patterns all over the hard shaft, sucking every drop of precome up like it was water in the desert. He hummed around it, forcing himself to take more of his Daddy, to take him deeper and there was no way in hell he could pretend he didn’t like doing this. 

 “Look at you, little slut,” Tony’s voice was hoarse. “Acting like a prude although you want nothing more than getting stuffed by your professor. Are you that eager for me? Whoring yourself out to get a good grade?”

 Peter pinched his eyes shut, counting in his head from one to ten. He was so close, way too close given that nothing had touched his hole or his cock, not even his own hands. He had never been so turned on before, wanting to sit between Tony’s spread legs forever. 

 Time lost its meaning with his Daddy’s cock inside of his mouth, it blurred together, left him feeling floaty and content. Everything that mattered was his Daddy, his taste, his scent, his everything, and Peter lost himself in the feeling of his Daddy on his tongue. He felt so filthy, so humiliated, and the shame was fueling the fire inside of him. 

 When Tony eventually pulled back his head, Peter whined in distress. “Don’t act up, you little slut. Sit on my cock while I show you the mistake you made.”

 “Yes Mr. Stark,” his voice was raspy, his throat sore from his Daddy’s thick length, but it didn’t matter to him, made him feel like a good boy instead. His legs wobbled when he got up and the Alpha didn’t help him but watched him struggle for balance. Finally, he seated himself on his Daddy’s lap, Tony’s tip nudging against his hole.

 “You forgot one character. Do you see it?” The Alpha was pointing at the screen, showing him the mistake Peter had made, but the Omega was too far gone to even focus on his code. Everything he could concentrate on was the leaking cock against his hole, spurting precome all over his thighs while new slick was making him messy. 

 He knew it was a mistake, new it didn’t suit the role he played, but he pushed his hips back, impaling himself on his Daddy in one stroke. They moaned in unison. The fit was tight, tighter than usual. Peter rarely took his Daddy’s cock without prep outside his heat, and it was burning, hurting even, but he loved it still. He would be sore tomorrow, maybe not even able to sit and the thought made his insides clench in arousal, gripping his Daddy’s cock even tighter. 

 “God, you are a slut,” Tony tried to sound mean, humiliating, but Peter could still hear a hint of affection laying underneath. “Look at you, I’m not even asking you, but you still fuck yourself on me as if you would die without a proper cock inside of you. Think you might pass if you just act slutty enough?”

 Peter could only moan in return. He was so thankful, thankful for his Daddy’s love, for his cock, and especially thankful that he did this for him. His Daddy length was filling him deliciously, pressing against all the right spots, and assaulting his prostate. Nothing would ever feel as good as sitting on the Alpha’s cock. 

 “Let’s make a deal, Peter. When you make me come without coming yourself before, I let you pass. Let me see how badly you want it, show me how important it is to you.”

 Peter didn’t need to be told twice. He started to move his hips, dragging himself up and down, bouncing on his Daddy’s cock. His own cock was leaking precome as well, still untouched and it swayed with every thrust on his hips. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the urge to touch himself, to come on his Daddy’s cock, but once he would touch his erection, he wouldn’t be able to hold back. So he kept his hands to himself, clenched them to fists, and tried his best not to move them. 

 “So tight on my cock, like a virgin. Tell me, boy. Am I the first one fucking your slutty hole? Would you do anything for a good grade?”

 “Yes, Mr. Stark.” Peter’s answer was a breathless cry, his entire body straining from his movements. He lost himself in the fantasy, eagerly bouncing on Tony’s cock to improve his grade. He could feel every bump in his Daddy’s cock, every inch splitting him open and he knew he was close. If he didn’t up the game now, he would come before his Daddy.

 “Mr. Stark,” his voice was wrecked from arousal. “Please, let me pass, please, I’ll do anything, I swear.”

 He got a roar in return. “Aren’t you already doing everything, slut? You are already bouncing on my cock, already crying for me to fill you. What could you still offer to convince me?”

 The question was an easy one but stuffed to the brim, Peter found it hard to think. His legs were trembling, slick leaking out of him and the room was filled with little gasps and whimpers. He propped his arms on the table, the computer screen in front of him long forgotten, moving his hips desperately while he did his best to think about a good answer. 

 “I’ll come to your office twice a week after classes. Let you stuff me full again and again. I won’t tell anyone, just please let me pass, please fuck me, Mr. Stark.”

 Although the pleasure was taking a toll on him as well, Tony pretended to ponder, his eyes fixed on Peter in hunger. He watched his cock disappearing again and again in Peter’s hole, glistening from his slick that was spread everywhere. 

 “All right, boy,” he finally gave in, his hips thrusting up and meeting Peter halfway. “We have a deal. You let me fuck you twice a week and I let a dumb slut pass the class.”

 The words were too much, Peter felt could feel how his walls started to clench rhythmically, trying to milk his Daddy. He was sweating, his entire body shivering in arousal and there was no chance to hold back much longer. Before he would completely lose himself, Peter tried for the last time. 

 “I’ll be your slut, your slave, I promise. I’ll do anything you want. You can mark me, you can breed me, you can show everyone how easy I am for you, how pathetic. Please, come for me Mr. Stark. Fill me up.” The words seemed to hit just right. The moment he felt the heat exploding inside of him, Tony started coming as well, his tip pressed snugly against his prostate. 

 Come after come was filling him, stuffing and marking him, while Peter was falling apart. The movement of his hips stopped, he couldn’t lift his body anymore but thankfully Tony was grinding into him, working his knot into Peter’s body. The orgasm was taking him apart in waves and it didn’t stop, the assault of his prostate making it impossible for him to come down. 

 In contrast to Alpha’s bodies, Omegas weren’t made to come for minutes, but his Daddy was milking spurt after spurt from his cock anyway. The sensations didn’t stop, wrecking him and grabbing him tightly, until his vision started to blur and his body couldn’t do more than twitch weakly. 

 He didn’t pass out this time, trapped on the Alpha’s cock, and pressed against his chest, but he was close. He didn’t want to surrender to the sweet darkness, wanted to tell his Daddy how thankful he was, how good the Alpha had been for him. 

 The knot was catching on his rim, plugging him up with a huge load of come and his own slick. Peter slumped against his Daddy, his entire body going limp from overstimulation and a dopily grin spread on his face when he felt that Tony still hasn’t stopped coming. 

 “Thank you, Daddy. You were amazing.”

 The Alpha purred, content to knot his Omega and he pressed kisses against Peter’s temple. “You were amazing as well, baby. So good for me. I love that you told me what you like, I love that you’re getting comfortable around me.”

 Peter smiled sweetly, turned his head, and pressed his lips lightly against the Alpha’s. The kiss was chaste, sweet, a reminder of how much they meant to each other. 

 “I love you, Daddy.” He earned another kiss and snuggled closer against Tony’s chest. 

 “I love you, too, baby.” Everything was perfect. “By the way, I actually found the mistake.” Peter started to laugh.

[magical-girl-coral]

you get two characters- Entrapta and Hordak!

Thank you, babe 💜 

First, Entrapta

Why I like them - she’s the best autism rep I’ve seen yet. She’s funny, brilliant, beautiful, and all-around best girl. Her complexity and brilliance will never be forgotten

Why I don’t - It’s not a problem with her as much as the writers. In the last season, her treatment has been awful which ruined some of her better moments. Out of context, they’re great, but in context, most things fall flat.

Favorite episode (scene if movie) -  Ignoring that one scene fans have already torn to pieces, the rescue from Beast Island was incredible.

Favorite season/movie - Season three. 

Favorite line - Everyone already knows the more iconic lines so I’m choosing my favorite underrated one, “Wait, do I have to explain math to you?”. I love unintentional sass.

Favorite outfit - Her space outfit.

OTP - Entrapdak, of course.

Brotp - Honestly? The Super Pal Trio. I miss their dynamics.

Head Canon - Entrapta secretly wanted revenge against the princesses for leaving her behind. Part of the reason why she joined the Horde so easily was that her anger took control of her actions. When Catra apologized on Darla, Entrapta remembered how her anger brought her nothing and forgave Catra instead.

Unpopular opinion - Entrtapta should have been allowed to get angry in season five. She was abandoned twice, almost died thanks to depression vines, and had to work with people who hated for weeks. I don’t care for emotional maturity, she already showed signs of anger and annoyance in the earlier season and with how the show treated her. Entrapta’s acceptance of Catra felt like a mix of “autistic character feels emotions like a robot” and “neurodivergent putting their feelings aside for a neurotypical.” It all just left a bitter taste in my mouth.

A wish - Please let her have a good break after this. She has been used enough.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - Getting together with Wrong Hordak. He’s like her fucking kid, y'all serious about this?

5 words to best describe them - brilliant, naive, funny, unique, and perfectly imperfect.

My nickname for them - tech wife.

Now, Hordak

Why I like them - The more complex villain in the last few years. A beautiful and tragic story arc with a happy ending that still makes me cry. One of the best written male characters in cartoon history and you can fight me on that.

Why I don’t - I don’t there is something I don’t like about them as much as the fandom sometimes. He’s not an innocent baby. He was a conqueror and a dictator with a lost cause who most likely killed Scopria’s family. Stop watering his character down so you guys will have your “unproblematic fave.”

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - The season finale of season four. The escalation of the events left me breathless and Hordak’s tears did something to me. Literally, everything about this episode was perfect.

Favorite season/movie - Season five. He was there for less than fifteen minutes but he still stole the show.

Favorite line - “I am Hordak, and I defy your will.” (Sidenote: I memorized his entire speech and practiced it before sleep for weeks. I love it that much)

Favorite outfit - His slutty battle outfit. Nothing says “how to make your ex take you back” like an open cut dress and a giant fucking arm gun.

OTP - Entrapdak

Brotp - Him and Adora. I feel like they’re going to talk a lot after some dust starts to settle.

Head Canon - Hordak sneezes just like Catra. They both got into a pollen field once and refuse to talk about it ever again.

Unpopular opinion - Hordak’s arc in season five was kind of clumsy. I found It odd how was there to find the Luvd crystal, be there for Prime’s speeches, see Prime look into his old vessel,  find Entrapta AND be the guard that stood next to her in Prime’s big final villain speech. It was all very convenient.

A wish - For Hordak to find out more about his own biology. I highly doubt he knows a lot thanks to Prime.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - NO ONE KILL OFF THE SPACEBAT. I FUCKING MEAN IT.

5 words to best describe them - intelligent, beautiful, hard-working, hot-headed, misunderstood.

My nickname for them - space-bat, emo space-bat, Entrapta’s trophy husband.

[bobasheebaby]

Penny Prompts

1 “If I take it off, NAME wins.” “Sweetie, every night you don't kill him/her in his/her sleep, he/she wins.”

2 “Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.” “Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.”

3 “NAME, what did we say about being a nicer friend?” “Thank you.” “NAME, what did we say about being a gullible weeny?”

4 “I'm not signing a prenup.” “All right, NAME, listen up! You sign anything he/she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man/woman alive. If you let him/her go, there is no way you can find anyone else. Speaking on behalf of all men/women, it is not going to happen, we had a meeting.”

5 “What am I supposed to do?” “Err, keep your mouth off other men/women.”

6 “So you have a song stuck in your head. It happens to everybody.” “Well, I'm not everybody. I have an eidetic memory. I should be able to remember what song this is, but I can't. Something's wrong with me.” “I told you if we were patient, he'd/she’d figure it out for himself/herself.”

7 [Person a knocks on NAME’s door three times] “Who do we love?” “NAME.” [Knocks 3 times] “Who do we love?” “NAME.” [Knocks 3 times] “Who do we love?” “NAME.”

8 “NAME 's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.” “Okay, were you talking before he:she got upset?” “Yes.” “That's probably it.”

9 “Ignore them, NAME. They're just jealous because they'll never have a relationship as good as ours.” “Isn't this when he/she says "bazooka" or something?”

10 [looking at caller ID] “Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight.” [answering phone] “Hey, baby...” “His/her right hand is calling him/her?”

11 “Doesn't he/she know you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” “He/She doesn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend he/she has a NAME.”

12 “What kind of teenager did you think I was?” “Slutty.” “Easy.” “The word is 'popular'.”

13 “Once you open the box it loses its value.” “Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.”

14 “Is that all you have? Shop-worn tidbits like ‘talk to him/her’ and ‘let it go’? Gee, NAME, life's given me lemons, what should I do?” “Well, you could shove them somewhere.”

15 “More Halloween candy. Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday?” “Oh, yeah. That's gone. It's a rough month when Halloween and PMS hit at the same time.”

16 “I don't believe it. What's gotten into him/her?” “Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.” “You didn't.” “Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.”

17 “Come on, we are not old, boring people. We can do better than this.” “That's true. How late did we stay up last night?” “Almost 1 am.” “Damn straight almost 1 am. And we weren't even watching TV, we were watching Netflix like the kids do.” “Yeah. Is it a comedy, is it a drama? Nobody knows!”

18 “You gotta help me get my arm into my sleeve.” [Eyes closed] “Okay!” “Is that my arm?” “It doesn't feel like an arm.” “Then maybe you should let it go.”

19 “Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?” “I don't know, a psychiatrist?”

20 “Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?” “Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!”

21 “You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?” “Essentially, yes.” “Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?”

22 “I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.” “I could think about you.” “Whatever works.”

23 “We cover ourselves in body paint and then we get on this big canvas and do our thing.” “Woah, that's kind of a big step for a guy/girl who only recently agreed to take his/her socks off.”

24 “He’s/She's only been here a day and a half, and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.” “Hey, I talked to him/her for five minutes yesterday, and I've been half bombed ever since.”

25 [To NAME’s dog] “Bark once if you need me to call PETA.”

26 “NAME, that's not what boyfriends/girlfriends are for. Although you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?”

27 “Don't you dare knock!”

28 “Don't you think if a man/woman was living with me I'd be the first one to know about it?” “Oh, sweetie, you'd be the last one to know about it.”

29 “Good morning, slut!” “What?” “Oh, please! I recognise the walk of shame when I see it. All you're missing is a little smeared mascara and a purse with panties wadded up in it!”

30 “They're gonna get beaten up at that club.” “They're gonna get beaten up at Walgreens.”

31 “Holy crap on a cracker!”

32 “And then you put it back, compromising the rest of the onion rings.” “Aw honey, the buses don't go where you live do they?”

33 “What's up, buttercup?”

34 “And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?”

35 “Really still can't talk to me?”

36 “This is banana bread.” “This is a door knob.”

37 “Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him/her with sex.” “Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for.”

38 “I'm a little low on cash.” “How much you got?” “Nothing.” “How can you walk around with no money?” “I'm cute, I get by.”

39 “And this is also not the right time. Do not propose.” “What?!” “I know that face. That's your proposed face.”

40 “Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home.” “Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out?”

41 “NAME, will you marry me?” “Oh my god, yes!”

42 “Is this the stuff you want me to try on?” “No this is the stuff I want you to throw out. Seriously, don't even give it to charity. You won't be helping anyone.”

43 “If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?” “Well, not to steal from the bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.”

44 “Oh, my God, you’re about to jibber jabber about jibber jabber.”

45 “I love him, but if he's broken, let's not get a new one.”

46 “We can't keep explaining everything. Read that book we gave you.”

47 “You know deep down inside, NAME’s a nice guy.” “The problem isn't what's on the inside. It's the creepy candy coating.”

48 “Um, you know it's kinda early. Do you wanna maybe come in for some coffee or something?” “Oh gee, its a little late for coffee isn't it?” “Aw, you think coffee means coffee. That is so sweet.”

49 “The thing about tomatoes, I think you will really enjoy this, is that they are shelved with the vegetables but they are technically a fruit.” “Interesting.” “Isn't it!” “No, I mean what you find enjoyable.”

50 “Do or do not do there is no try.” “Did you just quote Star Wars?” “I believe I quoted The Empire Strikes Back.”

51 “You can't let him/her get into your head.” “It's too late for me, my head is his/her summer house.”

52 “Well, while they're acting like teenagers we could do something grown up.” “Ooh, you mean like a museum?” “Yes, like a museum but anything else!”

53 “NAME’s being reasonable.” “Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.”

54 “Oh, my God, he/she won't stop.” “How does he/she keep coming up with new ways to be annoying?” “Nobody knows. That's why he’s/she's number one.”

55 “I love you.” “Who cares?”

56 “You're okay with an experiment where you have to answer awkward questions about your innermost feelings?” “Yes.” “Please can I do it with him/her, please.”

57 “Don't be like that. You two need to talk this out.” “Yeah, because you sound really funny.”

58 “I really thought he/she was going to say ‘let it go’.”

59 “Honey, you don't have to thank me every time we have sex, sweetie.”

60 “I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.” “Well what do you need?” “You, you stupid Poptart.”

61 “What are you saying? That I'm using my body to get dinner? That I'm some sort of Chinese food prostitute?”

62 “I was unstoppable. I was on fire. It was like my mind and my body were totally connected, like athletes must feel when they're in the zone.” “Again, it was miniature golf.” “Admit it, you're a little turned on.” “You can't be this proud.” “Why not?” “Because I beat you.”

63 “How do you not know how to use glue? Did you ditch pre-school?” “Yeah, but only because I was dating a second-grader.”

64 “Come on. How can you be sad when you're going home with all five foot six of this?” “You think you're five foot six? That's funny.”

65 “Look, I'm telling you I've done it. I clearly remember the cow standing up and then a cow on its side.” “Were you drunk?” “I was sixteen and in Nebraska, what do you think?” “I think you're the one who fell over.” “Well that would explain why the sky was also on its side.”

66 “I need to go back to dating dumb guys/girls from the gym.”

67 “We'll take you to the mall to get it done.” “Why? I can do it right here.” “Really? You have a piercing gun?” “No. All you need is a needle and an ice cube. I've done it, like, a dozen times.” “Oh, I don't know.” “Oh, come on. I'll be gentle. Let me take your ear virginity.” “This party's weird.”

68 “So is that it? Are we engaged?” “Yeah, I think so.” “All right.” “What's wrong?” “I'm not sure. It just feels a little anti-climactic.” “Yeah, it kinda does, doesn't it?”

69 “I promise next time I get married, it won't be a joke. It will be for love ... or money.”

70 “I don't understand, exactly how did he/she get any friends in the first place?” “We liked NAME.”

71 “Here, have some pizza, sweetie.” “You know I'm lactose intolerant.” “I know; I just need you to stop talking.”

72 “So, what do you think?” “I thought it would be a little more ... just more.” “I'm not even sure why we were out of breath.”

73 “I mean I was on fire. I was in the zone like an athlete.” “Sweetie, I beat you at this, too.”

74 “Well, I can't eat like a ten-year-old all the time.” “You're dating somebody! Who is it?” “What? What are you talking about?” “You only watch what you eat when you're afraid you might have to take your shirt off.”

75 “So I'm like a bran muffin?” “What? No, that's not what I'm saying.” “No, that's exactly what you're saying. I'm the boring thing you're choosing because I'm good for you.” “What does it matter? I'm choosing you.” “It matters a lot. I don't want to be a bran muffin. I want to be a cinnabon, a strawberry pop tart. Something you're excited about, even if it could give you diabetes.” “Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.”

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 9: Witch’s Familiar

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: The time for the Halloween dance has come.

Editor: @cherrypierowena

You loved Halloween, you really did, but your idea of it was more sitting in front of the computer as the latest horror movie played on screen than a dance full of people you couldn't stand clad in cheap costumes and getting blackout drunk.

Yet here you were. At school. At seven PM. Dressed up as a cat; furry suit, fuzzy ears, and fluffy tail, all black as night.

You looked ridiculous.

No more ridiculous than the girls dressed as slutty nurses, but still ridiculous.

Your friends begged to differ, but then, they looked no better than you so it wasn't like they had any place to comment.

Sam and Dean had showed up in plaid shirts, worn jeans, and brown boots. Basically their everyday attire, but they claimed to be monster hunters. They carried ridiculous looking plastic knives (which still earned them odd looks from teachers at the entrance, one of whom had demanded to inspect said "weapons" despite their quite obvious fakeness) and had painted on some scars and tattoos on their arms. Dean had given himself a scar over his entire face, stretching from the right side of his forehead to his left cheek. Claimed it made him look more badass. Which was actually, strangely, true.

Castiel was an angel, dressed in all white (including the trench coat). He'd stuck a fluffy halo atop his head, and had on a pair of wings, big and feathery. You were tempted to rip out a feather or two. His glare at having seen right through you stopped you in your tracks.

Meg was clad in black leather from head to toe. Her eyes were full black, courtesy of contacts, and she had on wings that looked identical to Castiel's, only his were white while hers were ink black.

And Crowley…

Crowley had on a suit, one that almost looked tailored specifically to him. A crown was perched on his head, black with blood-red crystals. He wore red contacts, making his eyes look like menacing rubies.

"Lemme guess," you'd said the first thing you saw him. "A demon."

He'd looked at you with such offense, as if you'd just insulted his mother. Throwing a quick glance Meg's way, he'd made a face and told you, "King of Hell."

Because of course he was.

What else would he be?

Stupid you.

You didn't exactly have many ideas for your costume. Dressing up wasn't your thing, especially when it came to school-related events.

Browsing the local costume shop, nothing stood out to you as special, as you. You were there more as a courtesy. You weren't even sure if you would show up to the dance.

Then you remembered Rowena. Remembered her smile, so happy, so bright, as she showed you her dress.

You had to see her in that dress.

You didn't know why. Didn't understand the euphoria that went through you at the image of her clad in it, of the fabric hugging every curve of her body.

That was when it occurred to you that you could be a cat. A black one.

Witch's familiar.

You wondered if she would get the reference. If anyone would, for that matter.

It was silly, really, but oh, well. It was a school dance, not a castle gala. Silliness was basically law.

"Drink?" Crowley asked. He looked around to make sure the coast was clear, then pulled a flask out of his inner pocket and took a big swig.

Whiskey most likely.

You made a face. "No, thanks."

He shrugged. "More for me."

He took another swig. Then another.

Nice.

The dance had just started, and he'd already started working on getting drunk.

"Easy there, your majesty. Leave some for later."

With a sly smirk, he opened up his suit jacket, revealing three more flasks neatly stashed in each pocket. "A king always comes prepared."

Of course he did.

"I'm not driving you home because of your preparations," you threatened.

He held his hands up in a placating manner.

"And I'm not helping you walk. You're not drooling on my shoulder. Again."

One time, a few months ago, was more than enough.

"Thanks for the warning, love, but I can handle my liquor," he said in a modest tone that was faker than his title.

You laughed out loud, right in his face.

"What's up?" Sam asked, breaking through the crowd of costumed bodies with Dean in tow. Both held plastic cups filled to the brim with foamy amber liquid that didn't look like juice.

"Crowley's a drunk," you said. Before the king could utter a response (which earned you a middle finger from him instead), you asked, "Where'd you get that?"

"Some seniors snuck in a six pack," Dean said with a shit-eating grin. He took a sip of his beer, then another before finally downing half a cup.

Beer. One of Dean Winchester's weaknesses, right alongside hot chicks, porn, pie, and Jack Daniel's.

You stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. How did one sneak in a six pack?

You decided you didn't want to know.

They were seniors. It was explanation enough. Just like that time Garth Fitzgerald did something that got the entire school evacuated and guys in hazmat suits called in. How? It didn't matter. All that was known was that whatever he'd done occurred in the chem lab and it was an honest to god accident.

It had happened, and everyone had gotten a day off.

And tonight, everyone who wanted would get to party properly.

Crowley opened up his jacket again, flashing the goodies right in the Winchesters' faces. "Amateurs."

Dean's face lit up. "Crowley, my man!"

Crowley held up a hand. "No."

"Come on."

"You get nothing."

"Don't be a dick."

"I'm proud of the title."

He looked it.

"I'll pay you," Dean said.

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "How much?"

The elder Winchester peeked into his wallet. "I got two bucks."

Crowley looked offended. A flicker of amusement flashed over his face. "Generous, but no."

"You're an ass!" Dean whined.

Crowley sighed. "Need I remind you what happened last time?"

Dean, drunk out of his ass, had stolen and then drank his entire stash. And had gotten so sick he'd almost ended up at the ER.

Crowley knew better than to let his guard down around him. Fool him once and all that.

"I was wasted back then," Dean said.

"And you'll be wasted this time. Not on my account." Crowley shooed at him as if he were a pesky stray. "Off you go."

Dean did, in fact, go away, became one with the crowd, but not before holding up a middle finger.

"Charming," Crowley quipped with a smirk.

"You guys should just fuck and get it over with," you teased.

You knew Crowley would happily take that option. He never said anything, but you could tell he was attracted to Dean. And Sam. And Castiel. Maybe even Meg and you.

Crowley was attracted to everyone. Flirted with everyone. And, if given the chance, slept with everyone.

You still loved him to bits, but only as a friend. He was attractive, and funny, and could be sweet when he wanted to, but he was your friend. That was what you loved him as. Nothing more and nothing less.

"I'm in if he's in," Crowley said suggestively.

You laughed. If he were a girl, it most likely would have happened yet.

Sam, through a laugh, said, "I'm gonna go find Eileen. See if she wants to dance."

Eileen Leahy was a cute and sweet Sophomore girl Sam sometimes saw in the library. They would make an adorable couple.

"Leaves just you and me," Crowley said, cocking up a teasing eyebrow. "Up for a dance?"

"I can't dance," you pointed out.

"You can stand and watch me dance."

An offer you couldn't refuse. "Sure."

It wasn't like you had anything better to do.

Grabbing your hand, he dragged you into the crowd. People were drinking. Dancing. Moving and swaying to the rhythm of the loud, deafening music blasting through the speakers. So many different costumes surrounded you; some good, some terrible, but, despite the quality of their attire, everyone seemed to be having an amazing time.

Without warning, Crowley took your hands into his and started dancing. He was a great dancer. A rather sophisticated one. He moved just the right way. No mistakes, no slip ups. Just good, old-fashioned dancing.

What the hell.

If he could do it, if all these other kids could do it, so could you.

Talent didn't matter.

It was all about enjoyment.

You let Crowley spin you around. Let him pull you in and out. You were stiff, more robot than human, but you moved alongside him, copied everything he did to the best of your — rather limited — ability.

No one paid attention.

No one pointed and laughed.

Everyone was lost in their own joy.

"Where did you learn how to dance?" you asked, shouting to be heard over the music.

"Dance school," Crowley said.

Seriously?

He didn't seem like the type.

But then, it was Crowley. Everything was possible.

"What?" he asked defensively.

"You don't look like the type to go to an extra school."

Or school in general.

"Mother signed me up," he said, shrugging. "Quit when I was ten. Seemed like a waste of time."

Now that was more like him.

You chuckled.

"Still got the moves."

"They're great moves," you said.

He spun you around again.

Right into someone's back.

Shit!

"I'm so sorry," you said.

The person you'd crashed into whipped around, pissed to high heavens.

Then your eyes met and all anger vanished in a blink, replaced by surprise. A quite welcome one.

"Y/N?"

"Rowena," you breathed out.

It took everything in you to regain your composure. She was gorgeous. Stunning. Mesmerizing. The sparkly black dress fit her perfectly, hugged her every curve as if molded on her body. Her nails were painted black, and she wore a pointy hat adorned with spider web patterns.

Dear god!

She was the most beautiful witch you'd ever seen.

"I didn't think you'd come," she said, flashing a bright smile.

Neither did you.

"Thought I'd have some fun, after all the math," you said.

She gave a small laugh.

"How's that going for you?"

"Good. When I'm not crashing into people."

"Och, it was nothing."

Right.

That was why she wanted to rip your head off — until she noticed it was you.

Did that mean you weren't on her shit list anymore? That her mean girl persona didn't apply to you?

What a privilege.

Rowena narrowed her eyes at her brother. "Fergus."

"Sister," he retorted in a rather uninterested tone.

Such sibling love.

"It's so nice to see you guys," Lucifer said cheerfully.

He was dressed in all red, with red contacts and horns stuck atop his head.

The devil.

Fitting.

You flinched, having not noticed him. You were too distracted by the beautiful witch to notice the garbage that came with the package.

Rowena may have become nicer to you, but that didn't make her choice of boyfriends any less disgusting.

"The feeling's not mutual," you said, then turned to Crowley. "Come on, I wanna get something to drink."

"You're leaving?" The devil pouted. "What did I do?"

"You exist," you replied.

He dramatically slammed a hand over his heart. "Ouch. That hurt my feelings."

Good, you thought. Fucking awesome!

Rowena gave you a polite smile on your way back. A tad… apologetic.

No.

You were seeing things.

She loved that asshole and, despite the recent change in your relationship, hated you.

And, for some strange reason you couldn't put your finger on, it made your heart feel like it was being picked apart by dull knives.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne

[hotsexydorks]

Hypnotist/Vampire Stiles takes control over every guy in the Pack (and Danny and Parrish) one by one, to have his way with them Sorry for the bad English (I am from Italy)

A Taste of Power : Stiles/Liam , Stiles/Parrish, Pack/OMC

Stiles could barely contain his excitement, shutting his laptop and looking for everything he needed. He had tried it on a few passers by already but next was the real test, but even just those tests had him excited for everything to come. Soon he wouldn’t be the virgin of the group, that would all change now.

~~~

“In the showers later you’re going to wash your body, but this time instead of doing it like all the other guys, you’re going to enjoy it. Play with your nipples, rub your balls and make sure you rub the soap against your ass. Get your body nice and covered in soap, all while enjoying how hands feel on your body.”

Liam blinked as Stiles spoke, working the commands into him. Unaware of what was happening when Stiles met him in the bathroom just after school before training.

It was easy to get him alone and Liam trusted him so it was even easier to make sure that his suggestions hooked. So Stiles bided his time until after practise the team training like usual.

When they finished later that day they all went into the locker room, the room with the lingering scent of sweat, balls and musk from the teenagers and teams that used it.

Stiles watched closely in anticipation of what was going to happen next, usually there were only a handful of players that showered. Liam was one of them but the rest of them were all just guys that ducked under the water and left for home.

With the team filtering out with their things easily enough it left a handful of the team still in the locker room. Stiles opting not to draw attention to himself packed slower than usual and took his time taking his things, with only a few left in the locker room he walked towards the shower following after Liam.

The blonde walked to the showers with his towel and turned the water on. His usual habits kicking in and washing his body under the water. But as soon as Liam reached for the body wash his mind went blank, Stiles own commands kicking in and taking control.

It was smooth and almost robotic but Stiles could see Liam washing his body in the shower. The muscled frame he was building under the suds. Liam didn’t know what he was doing, his body was just moving and Stiles was enjoying the show.

Across from him was the young jock washing over his body, playing with his nipples and rubbing over himself like he was in a porno, trying to tease Stiles to go over there and fuck him against the wall. Making him take his cock there and then till Stiles was good and done.  

But he didn’t have time to fixate on that thought for too long before Liam turned around. Stiles’ own heart beating faster and his cock growing shamelessly as he watched him. Liam reached back with the soap and started to wash his ass, his hands rubbing the cheeks making them move. Giving Stiles glimpses of his hole before finally showing him the virgin hole as he rubbed all around it even starting to moan.

Stiles couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he knew that things would play out how he said, but he didn’t think it would work this well. Liam was touching himself and playing with his body and liking it. He thought he saw a finger even dip into his hole for a moment.

When Liam turned around he cock was rocked hard and surprisingly thick. While he wasn’t the longest cock Stiles had seen it was still thick. He licked his lips watching the teen start to wash his cock now. Stroking himself the same way he was washing his body but added with more pleasure.

This was great, and all he wanted. Stiles walked out of the show and rushed with his things his heart beating loudly and already planning his next steps.

~~~

“Alright come on Liam time for Stiles’ great inspection”

Liam nodded and got up from his place on the couch and went upstairs to the male’s room. Knowing what it meant, his body moving on it’s own.  When he got there Liam stripped his clothes and got on his knees and waited for Stiles to come up. Stiles took out his hard cock and presented it to Liam who wasted no time in wrapping his lips around it.

His hands stroked the long length he wasn’t able to take it all the way yet so he had to make sure that he was showing Stiles he was trying.

Stiles smirked as he watched Liam’s head move on his cock. They had done this now times before but each time still felt great. He had made Liam think nothing of this time and forget it ever happened. Each time he sucked his cock it was the same, taking his cock in the car, bathroom , locker room, in the middle of a game. Each time he forgot about it later.

Liam managed half of Stiles cock before he looked up at him and mumbled around his cock. “hmm ey duhng betr?” He asked him moaning around the cock.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full pup.”

“Am I doing better?” He asked again this time his mouth off the cock and licking his lips and wiping his mouth clean from the spit that connected them. The younger jock didn’t even wait for an answer before he put his mouth back on the girth swallowing it again. His tongue swirling around the length and making his mouth move back and forth on the cock.

Stiles smirked and nodded. “A lot better buddy.” He didn’t have to guide Liam back but he still put his hand behind his head, holding him there and making sure his cock didn’t leave the younger’s mouth. “Play with them balls slutty boy.” Feeling Liam’s body follow his orders a beat later without question. With a chuckle and a groan he held Liam’s head in his hands signalling the end. His balls were full and they wanted somewhere to shoot their load.

“Swallow it all Liam.” Stiles’s balls were smacking his chin, his musk rubbing off on the young wolf’s face. He groaned loudly, his cock filling Liam’s throat and mouth with hot thick cum. Pouring it down his throat. Shooting cum into his mouth one more time.

Liam wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled at the other, standing up and moving out of the room as he was dismissed by the other.

When Stiles came back downstairs he found Liam drinking water and looking for a throat soother. “Throat at you again?”

“Yeah… I thought wolves can’t get sick.”

Stiles smiled knowing to himself, smirking as he took out the sweet medicine for him.

~~~

Stiles wasn’t a stranger to the station so his visits weren’t seen as irregular at all. It was perfect for him when he wanted to ride his dildo. His car was just parked outside when he hit call on his phone.

“Parrish.” Jordan answered his phone without looking at the caller ID, usually forgoing checking now a days since it usually made no difference to him.

“Go to my father’s office and wait for me in his chair. You are to stroke your cock and get yourself hard for me.” Stiles spoke down the phone knowing that his voice was enough for Jordan to follow, not that he would know what he was doing at all.

When Stiles came walked into the station he greeted everyone like normal making his way to his father’s office.

“Stiles, you know your dad is off today right?”

“Yeah, I’m just picking up something he left here for me.” He smiled and waved back to the front desk closing the door behind him.

John shut the blinds after each day, since he hadn’t come in they were still closed and that meant Stiles’ present was hidden for him. He locked the door quietly and smirked seeing the deputy in his father’s chair not even undressed. His cock in his hand hard and leaking. Precume in his hands and slick from his stroking. Jordan had been ordered to only cum in Stiles’ ass or if he was in Stiles’ throat the younger fingered his ass.

“Stiles…” Jordan said quietly, he wasn’t questioning the other but more announcing to himself that his owner had arrived.

Stiles licked his lips, his dildo was ready for him and he was going to enjoy it. He dropped his clothes to the floor and straddled the Deputy with his back facing him. His ass teased the cock underneath him, wet and begging for his ass Jordan let out a moan. Stiles hadn’t taken away everything from him. He could still react and talk but he wasn’t Jordan Parrish the Deputy anymore, he was now Jordan Parrish Stiles’s living Dildo.

The large cock pushed into his ass as he sunk down. His ass taking the cock, it wasn’t the first time that Stiles was using him. No, the first time he used the other’s cock it was during a stakeout. He had been paired with Jordan to go patrol the area and look for clues. But Stiles had other plans for them.

All it took was a suggestion when they were in the car and they drove off past the preserve away from everyone. Once they were alone and safe away Stiles made his move. Freezing Jordan at first and just using him. His cock his to play with.

It was difficult at first because he wasn’t used to the size of Jordan’s cock but eventually he managed to start riding him and when he did he rode him until he came twice over the dashboard.  Jordan’s balls had been growing until they were heavy and hitting the chair over and over again. He was groaning begging for permission to cum, but he never got it.

Stiles poked the cock with his finger and chuckled watching the other squirm and writhe under his touch. He jerked Jordan off slowly but still didn’t give him permission. It wasn’t until the cock was red and weeping did Stiles stop.

It might have been a culmination of different things or the taste of power that Stiles had gotten but he didn’t let Jordan come until the next time they were together, which was the end of the week. Not only that , but Parrish was commanded to spend all his time alone jerking off, keeping himself on edge. When he eventually was allowed to cum it was in the clearing of the forest with Stiles recording it as a cum fountain erupted on his Deputy uniform.

He was bouncing on the other’s cock moaning quietly to himself as he felt Jordan’s cock twitch his hips fighting urge to buck up and unload his sweet hot cum into his ass. “Alright boy, time to really go for a ride.” Stiles turned his head back to the other putting him back into action again.

Jordan stood up and hooked his hands under Stiles’ legs, holding him up in the air. His hips rocketed to life and he started to fuck the male’s ass.While he didn’t now what was going on that couldn’t be said about his body. His cock was rock hard and red from the attention and lack of love that he was getting.

The hellhounds ability to fuck him never stopped amazing Stiles. Who needed a fucking machine when you could turn the hot guys around you into one for free. “Fuck fuck fuck..” He groaned loudly his cock ready to blog. “Cum for me.” Stiles ordered the cock in fucking him and let his own orgasm emerge.

Cum filled his ass and flew from his own cock out on to the desk. When Parrish was finished cuming he stood there holding Stiles waiting for him his next orders. Both of them panting and reeling from the intense air fucking they had. Looking up at the desk Stiles saw his cum had landed on a picture of his father, picking the frame up a wicked idea sparked in his mind. Making his Dad a cum dump would be hot.

~~~

The pile of money was stacked and everything was sorted into bags. Tonight had been another good night. Things were going better than ever. Stiles didn’t think going into this that he would end up with a business but now here he was.

With the place now empty of all the patrons Stiles when out and started to check on all his assets.

The first room was for oral. Mouths to suck and lick at anything you gave them, and to swallow anything you wanted. In here Liam and Isaac were tied up and chained down. Both kneeling with their mouths open and hoods around their faces to stop anyone from recognising them. Beside them each there was a counter, when a either of them had swallowed a mans load they added one to their counter so Stiles could see the numbers for them. Both of the boys were in the sixties, Isaac beating Liam out by 4 loads.  

Smiling Stiles unshackled them and took the masks off the boys. “Good boys, go off and clean up.” He told them as he walked out to the next room. Next on the set was anal.

Scott, Danny and Jackson were here. Each of bodies were in stocks, with their asses exposed. Scott was on his back with his legs in the air. He had a cushioned leather bench to lay on so his body wouldn’t cramp up. Beside him was that counter like with the other two boys. But on the bench were also used condoms that were just throw around, some tied, some left open. Stiles had told all the customers that they didn’t need to use condoms but if it made them feel better they could. He gave Scott’s ass a teasing pat and moved on to check the others.  

Jackson’s body was just bent over at his waist. Standing up with his legs and ass on the other side. All of the holes that hid their bodies were sealed by Stiles before hand so they wouldn’t move too much when they were getting fucked. Beside him in a similar position but still very different was Danny. The tanned male’s body was in the air. His body on a platform that moved up and down to meet different male’s heights. On the other side Danny was squatting the entire night, sitting on cocks below him a bucket of cum from the loads that had dropped from his body.

Stiles let them out and took their numbers before moving to the second last room that was open that night.

This room was a bit darker, it was more for the more intense clientele. Originally most of the guys just took turns but after Stiles received a suggestion from a client looking for more harsher activities he opened another room. He was careful who he put in there but they all would heal in the end. Stiles let them use the boys in there under the rule that there was no blood or scaring on them after they were done.

Tonight it was Derek, Peter and Theo’s turn. The three shifters masked liked Liam and Isaac. There wasn’t a counter in this room since Stiles had learned that the boys were usually too busy to keep count, but he knew that this room was used a lot from the state of the three. Derek was on a table with a trolley next to him, it contained different toys and objects that they had stuffed into his gaping hole. Stiles always had to make sure that the wolves were okay here. Knowing that they’d be taking fists and more than one cock at a time meant there was more opportunity for them to be hurt. Theo was the designated cock hole for the room, every time he put Theo there Stiles always thought he saw him smirking a bit too much while he was getting rammed. Lastly was Peter, the pig for the night. They were given poppers and other things for him. Cock cages, paddles and electro stim toys. His hair was matted down with what he only assumed was piss and his body looking used and abused. The final checks were done and Stiles released them and moved to the last room of the night.

In here was his newest addition to the group. The body was suspended in the air in a sling his arms and legs spread and his body exposed for them all to see. The cum dump room. With a smile Stiles sauntered up to the male and rubbed the thick cum that coated his body and fed it to the hungry slut. He took the mask off the light harsh on his eyes and making him look away. “Sorry Dad, should have warned you about the light.” Stiles chuckled and fed his father more of the cum, it was covering his body so it was only right to help his old man clean up. “Told ya you’d like it.” John looked up at Stiles and giggled, cum and cock drunk from the night and from the nonstop mind probing that Stiles had put him through at home on his own cock before bringing him here.

“Alright, time to go be a good Daddy and clean up.” He had finished feeding his father the cum and let him down to let him go to the showers. “Don’t forget to clean your ass of all the cum too.” Grinning he slapped his father’s ass and looked at the number, the Sheriff had gotten a lot of hits on his first night. Nearly 100 loads. Looked like the cum dump Sheriff was a good addition to his roster.

[lickstynine]

When Even the Doctor is Low-key Judging You (Part 1)

This is a followup to @ocsickficsideblog​ ‘s eating contest piece that she did at my request. It’s set after Kit’s birthday, but before the earthquake. Collab obv. More to come.

Alistair woke late the next morning, weak and thirsty and still with a mild stomach ache. He groaned as he sat up, full of aches after sleeping for so long in an armchair. Kit was still out for the count, his snore even worse than usual when combined with the rattling of his lungs.

Alistair thought he should make an appointment with the doctor - but he’d never actually done that himself. He went looking for one of Kit’s staff who could do it for him, his legs still wobbly. There were plenty of servants wandering about, as there always were, and it wasn’t hard for him to find one. Alistair just asked the first one he found.

“Um, excuse me..? Who do I ask to make an appointment with the doctor for Kit?”

“Oh, any of us can do that. When do you want it for?” She asked.

“Today, hopefully. If that’s alright?” Alistair said. He didn’t actually know how making an appointment worked. Did you have to have more notice than that?

You did if you were poor. It didn’t seem odd to the servant, and she simply nodded. “I’ll call right away and get back to you, sir.”

“Thanks. And...you don’t have to call me sir.”

“Yes, s- okay. What should I call you then?” She asked.

“Just...Alistair. And you can tell me your name. You know, like humans. Equal humans.”

She paused for a moment before replying, “it's Emily.”

Alistair gave her a shy smile. “Hello, Emily.”

“Hello s- ah, Alistair.” She smiled back, slightly less robotic than her usual servant behavior.

“I’m sorry about having to ask you to make this call. I’d do it myself if I...knew how,” he mumbled, blushing. He frequently felt utterly useless in the world. He was sure he’d die without Julius looking after him.

Emily shook her head. “It's no problem. It's my job to take care of Master Kit.”

“Ha, Master Kit? I’m gonna call him that to annoy him. Thank you.”

“You're… welcome? I think.” She walked off to make the call. Alistair went back to the parlor (they passed out in there remember) to see if his cousin had stirred yet. Kit was still out cold and snoring like a chainsaw. Alistair gave him a poke, mostly just to shut him up at this point.

Kit blinked, groaning and curling up more rather than trying to get up. Alistair lifted Kit’s hair so he could whisper in his ear. “Morning, Master Kit. Better get up so your servants can wipe your arse for you,” he teased.

The older boy immediately jerked away, flailing his hand at Alistair until he felt it hit something. “You can fuck right off.”

“Well, are you getting up or not?”

“wasn't planning on it, no.” Kit grumbled.

“Well, we’re going to the doctor eventually. When Emily has made an appointment.”

Kit groaned dramatically. “I don't want to do thaaaat. I'd have to get up, and put on proper trousers.” at the moment, he was only wearing pyjama bottoms and a bathrobe, definitely not something he could leave the house in.

“You don’t have to put on proper trousers. I go everywhere in pyjamas in the mornings. You’re sick, they doctor isn’t gonna care.”

“Well I'm less of a mess than you.” Kit muttered, pushing himself up and swaying briefly before climbing all the way to his feet.

“Thanks a lot. Fine, put on pants. You should probably eat something before we go. I’m not eating though,” Alistair added quickly.

“Then why do I have to?” Kit grouched, slogging up the stairs as though it were the most laborious task any man had ever been made to endure.

Alistair followed him, almost as miserably, his legs still weak from the day before. “Because there’s no chance of you shitting your pants when you see the doctor if you eat something.”

The older boy rolled his eyes, discarding his bathrobe as he began to rifle through the shirts side of his walk-in closet. “ever considered maybe I'm just not hungry, and it's nothing to do with my arse being a walking time-bomb?” he asked, buried up to his shoulders in fabric as he leaned into the rows of shirts. He was looking rather thin, and it made it seem as though the tattoo roses wrapped around his waist were squeezing him like a corset.

Alistair winced. “Do you have to use phrases like that? Like, do you have to say it in the most embarrassing way possible?” He didn’t mention it yet, but he made a mental note to remember to tell the doctor that Kit had lost weight if his cousin didn’t say it himself.

“I do. It's my specialty.” Kit smirked devilishly as he popped out of the racks holding a shirt. It was a warm purplish grey, and when he put it on, he left the top few buttons open, whether out of laziness or slutty habit, who knows. Cuffing it neatly to free his forearms, he turned to the other side of the closet in search of pants, settling on a pair of dark charcoal grey slacks. A black leather belt and matching shoes finished off the look, and he flopped onto the small cushioned bench in the center of the closet with a sigh. “alright. I'm dressed. I'll need a bit to fix my hair, then we can go.”

“Honestly, look at you. You’re dressed like we’re off strutting down the catwalk,” Alistair grumbled, mostly annoyed because he knew he still looked pale from yesterday, his clothes crumpled and his hair a mess. He couldn’t measure up to Kit when they were stood together, even though they were cousins.

“This is just how I dress, Al. I don't really do casual clothing. And if you're feeling underdressed, you could always borrow something.” Kit climbed to his feet, making his way over to the bedroom vanity to brush his hair and tie it back. He did his best to sweep his bangs in a way that didn't let his roots show, but they were overgrown as hell and not terribly cooperative. He finally gave up, instead just grabbing his burgundy hairspray to cover up the orange.

“I’m not wearing your clothes. I’ll look like a mouse dressed up as a cat,” Alistair said. He just finger combed his own hair idly, sweeping the bangs forward so they could cover his eyes if he needed.

“You can at least borrow a jacket. It's freezing out. I plan to wear at least two.” content with his hair, Kit returned to the closet, grabbing a cardigan, a pea coat, an overcoat, and a scarf, along with leather gloves to match his shoes.

“Do you have anything else leather?” Alistair asked hopefully, trying to sound casual. He didn’t know enough about fashion to realise the coat Kit was wearing was incredibly expensive. Julius would have melted at the sight of it.

“Yea, should be a coat near the end of the rack.”

Alistair found the coat and slipped his arms into the sleeves, loving the feeling of the soft, supple leather. He didn’t realise he had a huge grin on his face. Kit smirked broadly. “You like it?”

Alistair tried to quickly straighten his face. “‘S okay.”

“Don't bullshit me. I saw you smiling. Maybe I'll get you one for Christmas. But you can't go all vegetarian righteous me about the leather.”

“Oh Jesus, don’t you start with that too. But wait...real leather is still made from animals?”

“Iit wouldn't be real leather if it wasn't, nitwit.” Kit rolled his eyes.

“Oh gross, really?” Alistair looked down at his jacket, trying to chose. Did he care about his morals or his image more? There should have only been one answer - but he didn’t take the jacket off.

Kit hid his amusement this time, instead turning to the door. “Should we go find Emily? See if the appointment is made?’

“Yeah, okay,” Alistair said, following him out of the bedroom.

Kit padded down the hall, still clearly sluggish despite his improved appearance. Emily was in the main hall, dusting the decorations. Alistair smiled at her but let Kit do the talking. He didn’t really like ordering the servants around. He’d hated watching the way his father used to call at them imperiously back in his own house.

Kit wasn't rude of course, he simply shuffled over and murmured in her ear, pulling out his notepad when she gave him the time. He then returned to Alistair, mumbling, “3pm. What time is it now?”

“Almost two. You took so long to get fucking dressed, princess.”

“Oh, forgive me for wanting to be presentable.” Kit huffed.

“We’re only going to the doctor. You’re not going to flirt, are you?” Alistair asked.

“No, I'm just terribly vain.”

“Well...fair enough. I did just choose to walk around in strips of withered cow because I like leather.”

Kit chuckled and nodded briefly. “Fair enough indeed. What shall we do until we leave?”

“Well, you don’t look too good… Do you want to rest?” Alistair asked, genuinely concerned.

“Sounds good, but I'm not going back up those fucking stairs.” Kit instead trudged to the parlor and dropped into his favourite armchair. Alistair squashed up beside him - with people he liked, he tended to be stuck in the stage a toddler goes through where they have no concept of personal space. Kit didn't seem to mind, using his cousin's shoulder as a pillow.

“What’re you gonna tell the doctor?” Alistair asked. He was used to planning conversations in his head a hundred times before he did anything.

“I dunno, I'll see what he asks and answer it.”

“Well, you can estimate what he asks and then plan it out.”

Kit looked up at Alistair with a puzzled face. “Why would i do that? I'll just answer what he asks, and approximate if I don't know the answer. It's not a play with specific lines I have to recite. And thank God it isn't, because I’d never remember them.”

Alistair shrugged, looking embarrassed. “Sorry, I thought that’s what everyone did…”

“Nah. I just bullshit everything as I go.”

“How do you...just talk to people like that? I can’t do it. All the words get stuck.”

“I used to be that way. Then I got drunk so that I would be more comfortable making conversation. And I gradually tried doing it while less drunk until I had the balls to do it sober. Not saying alcohol is the right answer, it’s just how I did it.” Kit shrugged.

“Right. I don’t think I can try that method. I worry Jules enough as it is.”

Kit shrugged again. “Dunno what to tell you, Al. Maybe just go outside, find the friendliest-looking person in the area. Talk to them. Repeat until you stop sucking at it.”

“That sounds fucking horrendous. Can’t I just always go out with you or Jules or someone who can do it for me?”

“If you never want to be a functioning adult, yes.” Kit replied flatly.

“They’re making me take pills for that,” Alistair grumbled darkly.

“Oh, what a tragedy.” Kit snapped back. “Doctors work for years to find ways to make your life easier, and you're the one who's suffering because you have to take a whole pill every day.” There was a surprising amount of venom in the older boy’s voice, like this had opened up some bigger issue.

Alistair scowled at him, looking rather hurt. “You don’t have to be a dick about it. Those pills freak me out.”

“What's so scary about them? That they help you? Not everyone gets help in time, why do you have to be so ungrateful that you do?” Though his anger had set off a coughing fit, Kit climbed to his feet, stifling the sound behind his fist as he stalked off down the hall.

Alistair ran to the door, his eyes flashing angrily. “Fuck you! You didn’t see me for seven years, you’ve no idea what happened then!” He slammed the door hard to make his point, gripping his shirt sleeves, his heart banging in his chest.

Kit didn't seem bothered by the decreased population of the house, or if he was, he didn't show it. Emily picked up a vase that had been knocked over by the force of the door, straightening it and dusting it again.

Alistair stood by the door, not sure what to do. He didn’t want to fight with Kit - he hated to fight with people he actually liked. He sat on the steps, his breathing fast and shaking, tears stinging his eyes. It wasn't long before a car pulled up outside, a middle aged-man climbing out and approaching the front door. He seemed a bit perplexed by the presence of Alistair, but eventually asked.

“Pardon me? Is Master Kit around? I'm here to take him to his appointment.”

“He’ll be inside,” Alistair mumbled, his voice wobbling.

The chauffeur nodded, awkwardly stepping around Alistair to get inside. When he opened the door to enter, coughing could still be heard echoing through the house, sounding worse than earlier if anything. The chauffeur went off in search of his boss, but to his surprise, the usually amicable redhead snapped at him to fuck off and leave him be. Rather taken aback, the older man simply headed back out to his car, lingering in the drive and unsure of what to do.

Alistair glanced up at him. “Couldn’t you find him?”

“I did. He… didn't want to be bothered?” The chauffeur seemed confused by it himself.

“Fuck… That’s my fault,” Alistair mumbled. He put his face in his hands, gripping his hair. “I should go back. I really don’t fucking want to though.”

“That's up to you, mate. I'm just here to drive.” The chauffeur didn't want to pressure Alistair.

“I should, shouldn’t I?” he sighed. He quickly wiped his eyes and went off to look for Kit. He wasn't hard to find, considering Alistair just had to follow the sound of coughing. The older boy had holed up in one of the old back rooms; it looked like it used to be a study, with a desk, bookshelves, and a big leather chair. Kit was sitting in the chair, knees pulled up to his chest, and still coughing his lungs out. As Alistair drew close, he could hear another, softer sound mixed in with the coughs: weak, raspy sobbing.

Alistair paused at the door. He knocked softly. “Kit..?”

“What do you want?” The older boy’s confrontational tone was ruined by how faint and croaky his voice was. Alistair wanted to run home and hide his shame there, but he knew he had to make it up with Kit - besides, if he did go home and told Julius they’d argued, the small boy would just send him right back to apologise.

Alistair slipped inside the room, his back against the door. “Are you okay?”

Kit shrugged. “I don't know anymore.” He mumbled,  ducking his head into his knees as he coughed again.

Alistair bit his lip. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, mentally cursing himself when his voice wobbled again.

“S’not your fault. I got mad at you for shit that's really not your problem. I was just drawing parallels and throwing a fit.”

Alistair paused. “Mother and father used to...give me something. When they wanted me to be quiet. That’s why...I don’t like having to take things.”

Kit sighed. “Yours did that, too? Ah, why am I even surprised…” He paused to cough before adding, “This is different, though. It's not some asshole who doesn't care about your wellbeing recommending it. It's doctors, and Julie. And me, for that matter. Our family is horrible, but that doesn't mean the whole world's out to get you, you know.”

“I know. I try to tell myself that.” He paused. “You were drawing parallels..? Are you okay?”

“I'm fine. It's just... frustrating... to me to see people turn their nose up at nearly miraculous medicine when my mother…” He sniffled, hiding his face behind his arms, “My mother would've done anything for a medicine to help her. We had all the money in the world, but the doctors couldn't do fuck all… and I just… I don't want to lose somebody else I love because they won't take the cure that's being handed to them!”

Alistair looked horrified. He dashed over to Kit, putting his arms around the older boy. “Fuck, I’m sorry… I’ll take them, I promise. You won’t lose me, I promise. I’m not even suicidal anymore, not since… It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

Normally, Kit would've been embarrassed to be seen, even by Alistair, bawling like this, but he couldn't be bothered. He clutched desperately to his cousin's shirt, like a child on their mother's dress, sobbing and coughing and just making a right mess of himself. Alistair held him close, stroking his hair. He was so worked up that he started crying too. Kit eventually settled down, with the crying at least. He'd gotten off on another coughing fit and his lungs were rattling like the engine of a car about to die.

“We really should take you to the doctor,” Alistair said, scrubbing at his eyes.

“I can't… can't show up to the doctor in this state…” Kit groaned. His hair was disheveled, and his whole face was red and teary.

“You look perfect for the doctor. They’ll probably let you jump the queue, you look sick as a dog.”

Kit chuckled faintly. “There's no queue, he's the family doctor. He doesn't serve random patients off the street. But I suppose you're right. Help me up?”

Alistair took Kit’s hands, pulling him up. “Come on…”

The older boy tugged himself to his feet, trying not to lean on his cousin as they walked to the door. The chauffeur was still waiting out front, now just chilling in his car. Alistair pulled Kit along. “I know it’s not classy, but I need to get in the front. Otherwise I’ll puke in your car.”

The chauffeur just shrugged. “Go ahead, sir.” He got out to hold the door for both boys, and the inside of the car was remarkable. All sleek black leather, with heated seats to fight the chill outside. Rather than buckling in properly, Kit sprawled across the entire back seat with a rattling sigh, wondering if he could catch a nap on the way to the doctor’s office. Alistair was happily playing around with the heated seats, grinning.

“Jesus, I should travel with you guys more. Hey, if you want I could drive for a little bit,” he said eagerly to the chauffeur.

“No, sir. My duty is to drive, and this vehicle is my responsibility.” The chauffeur replied dryly.

“You don’t have to call me sir. Jeez, it’s gonna take me years to tell all the servants in your place not to call me sir, Kit. What’s your name?” he asked the chauffeur.

The man furrowed his brows, taken aback. It was several moments before he replied, “Thaddeus Bradley. But you can call me Taddy.”

“Cool name! That’s almost the kind of name you’d find in our fucking family.”

Taddy grinned. “Thanks. It was my father’s. Mum used to jokingly call him ‘Daddeus.’”

“How’d you get stuck working for our shitty family? I mean, Kit is the only good one,” Alistair said bluntly.

“They don’t actually pay attention to me. They sit in the back and drink champagne. And I enjoy driving. It’s honestly the easiest job I’ve ever had. I’m salaried, so there’s no chance of me going broke if they don’t travel much one year, and I rarely work more than ten hours a week.”

“That’s all? Huh, maybe I should do this as a job,” Alistair said thoughtfully, despite knowing he was not able to drive.

Taddy shrugged. “Maybe. You need extra licensing for it, though. To do it professionally.”

Alistair groaned. “Aww, really? I haven’t even got my normal licence yet.”

“Well, then you’ve got a ways to go.”

“Fuck that, then. I’ll do something else,” Alistair said. He paused, frowning. “There must be something…”

“You never did check back in with Osiris, did you?” Kit mumbled from the backseat. Alistair paused. Fuck.

“Yeeees.”

“Bullshit you did.” Kit knew better, and he'd told Osiris to call when Alistair got in touch.

“Alright alright. I will do it.”

“You'd better.” The older boy grumbled.

“Can’t he call me?” Alistair whined.

“No!” Kit snapped back. “Be a fucking adult, and make the call before I shove your phone so far up your arse, your colon dials it for you.”

“Jeez, you’re touchy today. Heard he snapped at you too,” Alistair said to Taddy, teasing Kit.

Taddy nodded briefly, “That he did.” He wouldn’t have said a word to any other member of the Raycraft family, but he knew Kit wasn’t a raging ass like his father.

“Oh, shut up Al. You try spending a third of your life ill and see how you feel.”

“I couldn’t even handle spending a third of yesterday ill.”

“Exactly. I have the right to be in a mood here and there.” Kit muttered, burying his face in the heated seat of the car. Despite his many layers, he was a little shivery.

“Yeah, I know. I was only teasing.”

Kit sighed dramatically. “Yea, well tease me later.”

“I’m allowed to tease. How much did you tease me yesterday?”

Kit didn’t reply right away, finally answering with, “Dunno, lost count.”

“Exactly. Only fair.”

Kit groaned, but didn’t speak up again the rest of the ride. Alistair was quiet too, fiddling with the radio and playing around with the seat warmers and the catches for the windows and all the different lights, just like a little kid on a car ride. Taddy didn’t seem bothered, and Kit was silent whether he liked it or not.

When they made it to the doctor, Alistair thanked Taddy and went to haul Kit out of the backseat. “You alive?”

“Barely.” Kit grumbled, stumbling to his feet. Alistair kept hold of Kit’s arm to keep him steady.

“Come on. Your appointment is in five minutes.”

Kit shuffled along, tugging his jacket tighter around him and trying not to shiver as they made their way inside. Alistair sighed and put an arm around him. “You’re always cold…”

“I know.” The older boy mumbled, coughing into his four-layers-thick-sleeve.

“I should get you one of those jackets they have for little shivering dogs.”

Kit huffed. “Shut up.”

He shuffled into the office, sinking into one of their sleek, fancy chairs with a dramatic groan. Alistair sat down beside him. He pulled a face at an old lady who was staring at Kit with disapproval, and she huffed irritably. Kit had only half noticed her, and couldn't tell whether she was judging his sorry state, or his dyed hair and metal-filled ears. Old people judged his tattoos all the time, but he was so bundled up they weren't visible right now.

Alistair nudged his cousin. “That old bitch is staring at you.”

“Why? You can't even fucking see my tattoos in this weather. That's normally what old bats get their knickers in a twist about.”

“God knows. Maybe your piercings.” Alistair stuck his finger up at her, and she hissed in outrage and stomped over to sit as far away from them as possible.

Kit scoffed, throwing a dirty gesture at her as well as she walked away. Normally he gave stuffy old people a lecture on minding their damn business, but today he was in a bad mood. He leaned against Alistair's shoulder with a yawn, allowing his lead-weighted eyelids to drop closed. Alistair idly plaited a long lock of Kit’s hair, waiting for his name to be called.

“Christian Raycraft?”

Kit sat up ramrod straight, immediately tense. Good things rarely followed when people used his real name. He had been half asleep and was noticeably shaken and disoriented. He stammered out a quiet, “H-here…” like a shy kid when attendance was called, stifling a coughing fit behind his hand as he stumbled to his feet.

Alistair helped him walk, following the doctor to a consultation room. He was mostly just there for moral support - he didn’t want to talk unless he had to. Luckily, the nurse was directing all of her questions towards Kit, despite the poor boy being so hoarse post-coughing-fit that it must've been painful to answer.

“How long have you been feeling ill?”

“Dunno, maybe a month.”

“What are your symptoms?”

“I'm coughing, I'm tired, I'm fucking miserable.”

“Have you been ill much recently? I have records of you being admitted to the hospital both this summer and last winter.”

“Oh, that…. Those. Just accidents. Hypothermia, and… and drowning, while on holiday. I've only really had a couple colds this year.” Kit waved his hand dismissively, dropping onto the examination bench with a rattling sigh.

The nurse nodded, making notes and wordlessly taking his temperature and blood pressure. “Alright. The doctor will be with you shortly.” she walked off.

“She must think you’re a right mess,” Alistair pointed out. “You almost died twice in less than a year.”

“I didn't do it on purpose!” Kit whined.

“I know. Try not to do it again though. You’re all I’ve got.”

Kit nodded, coughing into the bend of his arm. “Wasn't on the agenda.”

“Do you think you need a chest x-ray or anything? I don’t know a fucking thing about this shit. I hated science.”

“They probably will, since they'll suspect pneumonia. I've spent a good third of my winters with pneumonia at this point.” Kit groaned.

“Can’t they do something to prevent that?” Alistair asked.

“Besides telling me to wear a surgical mask in public and me telling them hell no?” Kit shook his head.

“Isn’t there anything that makes your immune system better? Hey, you should meet Jules’s grandmother. Every time I get sick, even if it’s just motion sickness, she’ll give me a spoonful of fucking cod liver oil for my immune system. She’d have you drinking the whole bottle,” Alistair said, grinning.

“There’s only so much to be done, Al. It’s a legitimate immune deficiency. To treat it, I’d have to be getting regular, fuck what’s the word... immune… immuno…. immunoglobulin replacement therapy my whole fucking life.” Kit sighed. “It’s a right mess and I hate it.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“They literally have to replace part of your fucking blood intravenously. It’s hellish.” Kit glanced warily at his arm as if someone might go for it with a needle. Considering all his tattoos and piercings, it must have been remarkably unpleasant for him to mind.

“Ugh… How is that even possible?” Alistair asked.

Kit shrugged, “I’m no biologist.”

“Is it like...similar to how they do dialysis? Isn’t that replacing blood? Or doing something to it? I don’t fucking know.”

“Sort of, yea. I think so.” Kit nodded, looking up as the doctor came in the room.

“Ah, Mister Kit. It’s been too long. I’ve only seen you twice this year.” The doctor quipped.

Kit sighed, “Yea, well, here I am.”

“My nurse was saying you’ve got a bad cough?”

“That - ahem - I was - mm - yes.” Kit groaned, stifling a cough in his shoulder.

The doctor nodded, checking his clipboard. “I’ll need you to shed those jackets, I’ve got to listen to your chest.”

Kit’s fingers were clumsy and shaky, but he gradually managed to peel off his overcoat, his pea coat, and his cardigan, unbuttoning his dress shirt for the doctor. He shivered miserably as the cold metal stethoscope touched him, and the doctor’s brow furrowed as he ordered Kit to breathe.

“That doesn’t sound great… We’ll probably need a chest x-ray.”

Though he sighed, Kit didn’t seem surprised, dryly inquiring, “To the back?”

“To the back.” The doctor nodded, heading for the door and gesturing for the boys to follow.

“Do you have to hold a metal plate over your balls?” Alistair whispered loudly, his mind of course jumping to that point before anything else. Kit rolled his eyes.

“No, it’s a lead apron over your legs.” He mumbled, having had far too many chest x-rays over the years.

“Will they let me look at your lungs?”

“I don’t see why not.” Kit shrugged.

“Cool! Your doctor is way better than the one Jules drags me too. They wouldn’t even let me touch the bag when I had a blood test.”

Kit bit back several comments, simply following the doctor to the x-ray room, dropping onto the seat and calmly accepting his lead-legged fate. Alistair watched from the doorway, looking fascinated. The doctor scowled at the screen and sucked air in through his teeth. “As I’d suspected… your lungs are filled with fluid.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Kit grumbled. “And what’s the tonic of the day? My thousandth round of antibiotics?”

“That was the plan, yes.” The doctor replied dryly.

“You must have created a ton of resistant bacteria in your body over the years, Kit,” Alistair called from the corridor.

“Probably. Or maybe it's an alien parasite slowly plotting my death. Who knows.”

“Just take the medicine, drama queen. I take mine, you take yours.”

“I wasn't planning not to.” Kit replied, following the doctor up front.

“Get this prescription filled as soon as possible, and I want to see you again in a week.”

Kit nodded, too busy stifling another coughing fit to talk. He put his jackets back on, slipping the prescription in the outermost pocket and shuffling for the door.

“Are we going to get the prescription then?” Alistair asked.

“Hell no. I'm going home to lie down. I'll send someone out for it.” Kit muttered, tugging on his scarf and gloves as he walked. The second the cold air hit him, he went from faintly shivering to shaking like a leaf, his teeth chattering loudly. Alistair tugged him back to the car quickly.

“Quick, get in. You really do need to lay down.”

Kit nodded, curling up on his side across the heated back seat. The exposure to cold air had set him off coughing yet again, and he halfheartedly covered his mouth with a gloved hand. The warm seat felt nice against his feverish cheek, as everything else around him was abominably cold. He slumped back against the leather, coughing and shivering and not talking to anyone. He hadn’t even remembered to give Taddy the prescription so it could be dropped off at the pharmacy on the way home.

Alistair prodded him from the front seat. “Kit, prescription.”

“Mm.” The older boy barely replied, fumbling in his coat pockets with gloved hands and tossing the paper vaguely towards his cousin. Alistair had to fumble on the floor for it, tutting, before handing it to Taddy.

The driver scanned it briefly as they stopped. “Right, I’ll drop this off soon as you two are home.”

“Thanks, mate. I’d do it myself if I could fucking drive.”

Taddy shrugged. “No trouble. Here we are.” He pulled into Kit’s drive, parking and getting out to open the doors for both boys. Kit didn’t show any interest in actually getting up, still curled up on the seat and shivering. Alistair rolled his eyes and opened the back door.

“Come on, Kit. You can get back in bed.”

“Don’t wanna move…” Kit grumbled.

“I think you’re a bit big for me to carry you to bed like we used to,” Alistair said gently. “Though I’ll try if you want.”

Kit shook his head. “I… I can get up. ‘M just moping.” He slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes and swinging his legs off the seat. It took several moments for him to clumsily crawl out of the back seat, but he managed to get to his feet and shuffle up the walkway towards the house. Alistair kept hold of him, starting to really worry.

“Are you going to be okay? Shall I call Jules? He’ll bring about a thousand things that I wouldn’t think of to look after you with.”

“You don’t need to bother him.” Kit muttered, promptly slipping on the slick pathway up to the house and falling in the thick snow coating the lawn. A small cloud of flakes were thrown into the air, trickling down on top of Kit as he struggled to get up. The exertion was causing him to cough, and not helping his efforts in the slightest.

Alistair helped haul him up. “Careful, it’s slippy,” he mumbled, like it wasn’t obvious now. “And Jules won't mind if you want. He likes you.”

Kit groaned, coughing into his shoulder and leaning on Alistair as he shuffled inside. “Are you sure?” He asked, dusting snow off himself.

“Of course. I’ll call him in a minute. Let’s just get you inside before you die in my arms,” Alistair said.

Kit laughed hoarsely, fumbling in his jacket for his keys before finally getting the door open. As soon as they got inside, he dropped onto the couch with a deep rattling sigh. Alistair grabbed a duvet from the closest bedroom, carefully draping it over his cousin. “I’ll call Jules, okay? He’ll actually know what to do.”

“Sounds good.” Kit muttered, curling up under the duvet.

[sanabakkoushisanangel]

Heeey. Sorry if I disturb you by something or anything but could you maybe list some good shows? (It's not a must that LGBT couples are included) thanks a lot ❤️❤️💫

Hi, Anon! 

You’re not disturbing!

So I’m the type of person that watches a pretty random variety of shows so I’m not sure what your taste leans toward exactly. 

If you have any suggestions, make a comment or drop me a message with the show and why you like it! And if you want, make a suggestion on how to make this list better!

** Is for shows other people suggest to me. I’ll comment if I’ve heard of it or seen any of it. 

*I’ll try to put if it’s LGBT friendly. And also I want to put down if it’s diverse or not and a note if you suggest a show is diverse…I’m looking for either the main character that is a POC or more than 1-2 minor characters that show up often enough to make a difference to the plot. Don’t tell me a show is diverse if it’s 3 black characters are just window-dressing…👀

***UPDATE*** (8/11/2019)*** SO I'm finally getting around to updating this list. As always let me know if y'all have any suggestions! This thing is getting insanely long! I might try to make it a link on my page (which is in serious need of renovation lol). Oh Lord, I still have so many shows I didn't add. I might have a problem...

Enjoy!!

Derry Girls: Man I hope you all get to see my recommendation for this show!!! It's truly a gem! I can't say it's diverse but it's also based off a small town in Northern Ireland so not really faulting them. Very LGBT friendly!! Spot the tiny rainbow pins our main 5 wear in the entirety of the second season!! It's like the cutest, most wholesome unspoken way of showing support! I literally watched the second season, went back to rewatch the first season and then rewatched the second season again. They're so loveable!

Four Weddings and a Funeral: I surprisingly haven't watched the 1994 film that was one of the best movies of the 90s apparently. But Mindi Kaling is producing its remake that's now a TV show on Hulu. Features a much more diverse cast (TWO main characts being Black, the main love interest being Muslim, actually portraying Muslim character seamlessly without making it campy or oversimplified!). There's a lack of LGBT characters (Tony 1 and Tony 2 don't really count since that feels slightly degrading to me...). I'm hoping they'll get better at that in future episodes!

Dark: A German TV show that's like a mystery time travel thriller. Not really diverse? It does feature a deaf supporting character and some minor supporting characters are LGBT but other than that...It IS a good story that's really interesting and gripping to watch.  

3%: A sci-fi post-apocalyptic story based in Brazil that's Hunger Games ish in that young people fight for their right to live in the ideal land of plenty. But because it's a show, you get to explore the ethical aspect of it a little more. I have a beef with how this show treats its PoC character to be honest. But it does have a lot of PoC characters and there's I think an LGBT plotline in a later season. But, I feel like the first season may have been its peak. Definitely still a good show and y'all might enjoy the later seasons more than me. 

Patriot Act: Not really a story obviously but I have to plug this show because for once I'm seeing a nonproblematic Indian Muslim man (side-eyeing Kumal and Aziz) that's actually doing great episodes highlighting a lot of important issues that we're totally not getting informed about that we should really be paying attention to more.  

Kim's Convenience: A Canadian sitcom based on a Korean family's convenience story. Really cute wholesome show with a great cast that really tries to be diverse and thoughtful and respectful of its PoC. I don't think they have an LGBT main character but it's friendly to it!

-Shadowhunters: I love this trash show. It’s actually not all that great but it’s got some absolute gems of characters you end up watching it for anyway. I def recommend but S1 was watched with a ton of skip Clary/Jace scenes for me. This is LGBT friendly and diverse.  

-Eastsiders: One of my Netflix finds. So super LGBTQ friendly because it revolves around a gay couple. The revolving door of characters includes many people at different spectrums of sexuality. It’s unapologetic and fun to watch. Our main couple is self-labeled slutty mcsluttersons but they’re committed to each other. The diversity of race is meh but it does have the Constance Wu from Fresh off the Boat in it and she’s lovely. 

-Riverdale: I tried man, I used to read Archie comics when I was younger but um, this show…I think it’s supposed to be ironically pretentious? It just falls flat for me tbh. It’s popular though so you can check a couple of episodes out to see if it’s your thing. There’s an openly gay character in this that should get more story than he does. Also, kind of LGBT baits too at times so not sure if I trust them completely. 

-Narcos: One of my recent shows. Very very intense show. Just really well done. It’s male-centric in that most of its main characters are male and its portrayal of women isn’t varied or flattering or significant in any way so that definitely sucks. But I don’t watch all my shows through that lens. For a show about Pablo Escobar and the drug wars it’s a really gripping watch. Beware of heavy subtitles because it’s set in Columbia. 

-The Expanse: My sci-fi pick. I love this show. It’s a gorgeous, diverse, rich story, funny without trying too hard. I just get sucked into every character. It had one older married gay couple that was really minor characters but I don’t recall any current mains that are. But It’s an inclusive show so I don’t think it’s particularly averse to the idea. Based on books I haven’t read yet! 

-Veep: This is like a completely meant-to-be-offensive comedy show with the amazing Julia Louis-Dreyfus. While I wasn’t in love with the last 2 seasons, the first 4 are amazing. No clear-cut character you root for in particular but it’s so close to politics you can’t help but laugh/cry. Watch it for the absolutely unapologetic legendary burns. Also, has a lesbian couple in it although it’s offensive comedy so prepare for that.

-Archer: Also another meant-to-be-offensive show that’s hilarious but so terrible and inappropriate. I don’t usually like that kind of comedy but I binge-watched this when I was sick and got hooked. 

-Vikings: I love this show. If you like Game of Thrones, you’ll like this one only it’s got less nudity and more idgaf fight scenes. It’s got brilliant characters, beautiful battle scenes, really interesting storylines, and just good snarky humor. Watch it! Also, they’re not shy about same-sex couples even if they don’t explicitly say it. 

-Mr. Robot: Really good show, very different and…I actually don’t know how to describe it? The main has mental health issues. It’s a sociopolitical commentary type show. It’s about hacking and network security and corporation conglomerates in control of our everything and the fight against it. Also from @cherryrebel : Mr robot has a shit ton of diversity in both race and LGBT, the lead is mixed race but the actor is Egyptian, Tyrell is bisexual, Gideon is gay, Angela, Elliot, and Darlene are implied being lgbt+, I think I’m forgetting about someone but watch that show, it’s the shit 

-Legion: A superhero show that’s so incredibly NOT like the other superhero shows. You'll find yourself in a serious mind trip thinking you’re the one that’s crazy. But it’s really really good. Go watch. 

-Mozart in the Jungle: About a bunch of musicians and a crazy conductor you absolutely love. It’s really good. LGBT friendly! And diverse-ish.

-Luther: One of the best crime shows in my opinion. Idris Elba just does things and you will want to watch him do it. Anything he does is beautiful and brilliant. But the show actually IS brilliant and amazing and go watch!! 

-This is Us: one of those, where-the-hell-did-you-come-from?? shows. Really heartfelt stories that make you laugh, cry, and go aww a million times. 

-Killjoys: Another sci-fi show I love. It’s got diversity and great characters and great action and story. It's a complicated plot though and if you skip episodes you're really going to struggle with the story. But if you don't care, it's still fun to watch ladies being brilliant and kicking ass. Also LGBT friendly and diverse!!

-True Detective: Crime detective show. It’s great, very gritty and serious but good stories and character-driven. I actually really enjoyed the third season despite my reservations of this show. Definitely needed subtitles! Also, I got major unspoken LGBT vibes from the characters (3rd season) here but I feel like they didn't go the distance with it. 

-Humans: Sci-fi show about android robots that are part of normal life- they look human and are basically live in maids. Only five of these have consciousness. Really good UK show. Diverse AND LGBT friendly!

-Broadchurch: Another good UK crime show. David Tennant and Olivia Colman are brilliant and bicker in the most endearing way! And Jodie Whitaker is so amazing! Slow and gripping and bingeworthy. @iamacolor mentioned a lesbian character in this one too. Wouldn't say it's LGBT friendly but there is diversity in the characters. 

-The Americans: Russian sleeper spies in America that lead normal lives, have American children, and are like totally Russians carrying out secret missions. It's fantastical and exaggerated and sometimes I side-eye it like really?? But it's a fun casual watch. Not really diverse or LGBT friendly even if there might be some peppering in there. 

-The Get Down: Great show that was recently canceled :( has about 1 season out. I’m not sure how to describe it and do proper justice. It’s lovely though with amazing characters. Also, LGBT friendly and clearly diverse!

-Stranger Things: Great show sci-fi mystery thriller type show. Diverse cast, wholesome even with a dark and violent plot. LGBT friendly but it's got a list of problems in my opinion. But still a fun watch.

-Dear White People: Black college students from all kinds of backgrounds dropping truth bombs all around and being amazing. Go watch. It's definitely a smart show with a lot of humor. It’s balanced with amazing depth to its characters. LGBT friendly! *so while it's definitely diverse in that the entire main cast except one is Black- I do find it weird that in an ivy league college there aren't many Asian students? Like it seems like they tried to fix that in the third season but it could definitely stand to do more in terms of its recurring supporting characters*

-Brooklyn Nine-Nine: an Amazing funny cop show that manages to be winsome, hilarious, endearing, quirky, diverse, balanced, and just amazing all around. Very LGBT friendly and diverse! It's a consistent show. 

-Fresh Off the Boat: An Asian family comedy show that’s endearing and hilarious. (Also check out Jane the Virgin for crazy telenovela-esque antics that are hilarious and cute). 

-Orphan Black: Sci-fi show about clones. A really amazing show, LGBT friendly. Great story AMAZING characters…most of which is played by one woman. Diverse and LGBT friendly.

-Preacher: Great show based on the graphic novel…uhh not sure how to describe it but it’s good. Reth Negga is in it!! 

Also adding Sense8 for its LGBT and diversity. Good show but I’ve heard something about the directors/producers being racist? Not sure so I’m recommending with caution because the show itself esp s2 where the nonwhite characters got a better fleshed out plot is good. But since I don’t know what the producers/directors have done, I’m giving a heads up for someone else to fill me in.

Poldark: I just started this one 2 days ago. 2 episodes in I’m really enjoying it. It’s from PBS’s Masterpiece series. Aiden Turner as a Cornishman is delicious. So far I adore his wife and immensely enjoying yet another period show.  

Grantchester: Adding this to the list after I discovered it on my prime account. I’m only one season in and I love Sydney Chambers and his gruff buddy cop Geordie? This isn’t a show that is going to have you sitting on the edge of your seat. It’s totally a procedural type of show. But it’s characters are likable, its story feels comfortable, and honestly, if it’s a shitty day for you and you just want something that’s easy? This is it. @iamacolor  :)

Entourage: So I binged 8 seasons and a movie in a week so let’s just say I fell into this gaping manhole…So it has one very prominently gay character on this show that gets a fair amount of screentime and a plot considering he’s a side character. He’s a fairly loveable character you really enjoy watching develop and grow. However, I should warn people that this show has really colorful language that is quite frankly really sexist and homophobic. For those of you that don’t know, it’s essentially a show about a popular actor from Queens that makes it big in Hollywood and brings along his 2 best friends and older brother to live with him and share in his wealth. If you can get past the language and inherent sexism, it’s actually a decent show about 4 guys with an extremely tight unbreakable, ride or die friendship. Lots of cameos by famous actors and directors, etc. I admit I might have a thing for Kevin Connolly and Adrian Grenier…

Jane the Virgin: Okay firstly, I LOVE this show. I wasn’t caught up because I had too much on my plate but like this show is so tongue in cheek and has great Latino rep! Including a character that speaks like 98% in Spanish so it’s great. AND they have LGBT rep so there you go. Enjoy and thank me later!

Superstore: Almost disappointed no one reminded me to recommend this show?? It’s basically centered around a store much like Walmart where you have a colorful cast of employees. It’s funny, it’s cute, it’s very socially aware. A disabled character (of color!), a gay character, and a smattering of all sorts. PLUS America Ferrera whom I adore!

The Good Place: Great show, great diversity, really funny. I binged it aaaallllll. Seriously go watch this show!! 

Cable Girls: Netflix Original from Spain. Do yourself a favor, watch it in Spanish with subtitles. The dubs feel so off. So the music choices for this show are the biggest con. Like it’s modern English songs in a show set in the 20s. Whoever chooses the music really doesn’t read the tone of the scene because it always throws me off. BUT, it’s a show about women gaining their independence through working as operators. You don’t have a diverse cast (so another con) but it’s LGBT friendly. There’s an exploration of sexuality minus the harmful abuse of it. It’s got its own set of flaws for sure but there’s a lot of potentials for it to be a good watch. 

Atypical: Autistic boy on the cusp of adulthood that’s navigating how to grow into it and live as normally as possible despite his limitations. Diverse characters, funny stories, and most importantly, endearing af. I think it handles the touchy topic wonderfully and allows people in this show to both be good people and also make mistakes both big and small. What I really enjoyed about this show is that it feels unafraid to let it’s characters just be. It doesn’t fall into tropes and it just has really well-written characters. Can’t wait for Season 3. Also, def don’t want to spoil but LGBT friendly.  

Lovesick: If nothing else, watch this show for Antonia Thomas. I’m lowkey in love with her so I will watch anything she’s in. But it’s one of those shows that might not be for everyone. It’s about three great friends where two have been in love with each other at different parts of their lives and keep missing each other’s feelings. It plays via flashbacks quite a bit so your story isn’t quite linear but it doesn’t make it difficult to watch. I personally loved it but I’m biased because well Antonia Thomas…

Santa Clara Diet: So I confess I dropped this show mid first episode when I first watched it. Its pilot was so strange and bonkers I was just so incredibly confused. I think the projectile vomiting just turned me off. But boredom is a great motivator and I came back to it later. And man, I am so so so glad I did. It’s just such a lovely show. I love every character to bits. LGBT friendly for sure. It’s so incredibly far-fetched so you just go with it and enjoy the ride. 

On my Block: Four friends transitionally into high school and navigating changing dynamics in their lifelong relationships while also dealing with real life, high school, gangs, and growing up. It’s a good watch. Really hoping for a second season. 

Sisters: Aussie show about a woman caring for her ailing elderly father who finds out he used his own sperm in his fertility clinic in order to help parents struggling. Now she has new half-siblings all over the country and gets to navigate dealing with that shitshow. This is a good show. Flawed people being selfish, good people getting the short end of the stick, people being real, things getting ugly. It gets interesting and awkward but it’s a good watch.    LGBT friendly.

Homecoming: Really gripping show about soldiers that return stateside wanting to return to society, join a program to help them do so, turns out things aren’t as they seem. Check it out on Amazon Prime. Diverse…umm one of the main supporting characters is black?

Bodyguard: Richard Madden from GoT plays a completely different role in this show about a bodyguard that finds himself part of a bigger conspiracy plot that forces him to face his own demons. Overall the story is good. Intense, gripping, intriguing in all the right places. But the ending has you rolling your eyes at how cliche they made it out to be. My biggest gripe being romanticizing characters that really don’t deserve it without highlighting their problematic behavior. It sweeps a lot of questions under the rug and concludes what would have been a highly conflicting plot with some really shoddy tropey shortcuts. Still it’s definitely a bingeworthy show. Diversity is for shit though all things considered. 

Recommendations by Other Blogs:

-**Shameless: Based on the UK show I believe. Has an openly gay character in a really complicated loveline that’s one of the major draws of this show. Very good show but definitely not for everyone. Expect LOTS of cursing, nudity, etc. But it’s hilarious, weirdly heartwarming, really fun to watch. Adding based on an anon suggestion- I haven’t watched the seasons in full but I love popping in to catch up. LGBT friendly and also somewhat diverse. 

-**Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I have not watched this show myself but @blueberrysenpaii suggested this and said: Should add CEG. There’s a veeeery proud bi guy! So LGBT friendly! Someone tell me if it’s diverse?

-**Stitchers: Another show I haven’t watched but it’s been recommended a few times so it’s probably worth a watch. LGBT friendly! Someone tell me if it’s diverse? From Anon: There is a lesbian couple (Camanda) and they’re happy and healthy. It’s a great interesting storyline, it’s funny, super loveable characters, there’s some mystery and suspense in every episode, I love it so much, and it’s so underrated

**Black Sails: Have not watched this show either. LGBT friendly and diverse cast! But here’s @foolbrite ’s recommendation: black sails!! its an AMAZING  story plus there is such good lgbt rep in that show

**One Day At a Time: So I have watched a couple episodes of this. It’s so cute! Diverse and LGBT friendly! But here’s the recommendation from @jcarizma : One Day At a Time is really good. Has an LGBT main character and most of the characters are Hispanic as well and the show actually talks about topics that are importantes and it still manages to be hilarious. It’s on Netflix. and also @onyourleftbooob : one day at a time is INCREDIBLE and i loved how they dealt with their lgbt character

**Black Mirror: San Junipero: Again never watched this show but I have seen gifs of this episode?story arc? Diverse and LGBT friendly! Anywho another rec from @onyourleftbooob : black mirror’s san junipero is great  *Update: I did watch this myself so I can definitely say it was really nice!*

**How to Get Away With Murder: I actually was a little reluctant to recommend this show. Mainly because *spoiler* one of my favorite main characters got killed off in a way and point in the story where it was pure shock value and I’m forever upset. *end spoiler* I personally dropped the show at that point. However, it was great until that point and it does have an great LGBT rep and just as important a very diverse cast! Also recommended by @onyourleftbooob  

**The Bold Type: I have not yet seen this show personally but I have seen lots of mentions of it on my dash and it seems like it’s really good. Good diverse and LGBT friendly show! @im-the-trashqueen-of-my-fandoms recommends this: One of the 3 leads is black and discovers that she’s not really straight when she starts developing feelings for a lesbian Muslim photographer :)

So I think I got most of the ones I really enjoy. Not including like Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones because those are hugely popular. I hope you enjoy! If I think of more, I’ll add them here.  

[spiralatlas]

PAX Australia 2017 Day 3

There are no notes for Day 2 because I spent it socialising a little and sleeping a lot.

Queer Coded: A History of LGBTQIA+ Gaming

David Gaider Q&A

Brian Fairbanks Talks about Addressing Accessibility Through Game Design

Misc: I spent a chunk of the day in the diversity lounge which was fun. I met some great people at the Gender Diverse card game, and got to the semi finals of the Xena Nintendo 64 Fighting Game Tournament (there were only three rounds, but given how much I suck at fighting games this was still a happy surprise, and a sign of what a random button masher the game is)

The gender neutral toilets near the diversity lounge were very well done, unlike GCAP the original signs weren't visible and "with stalls/urinals" was in small letters like an afterthought.

I didn't break anything on Day 3 but did break a mug the next morning. Also the cinema in the Crown Casino is surprisingly inaccessible.

Despite the various mishaps I had a great time and will definitely come again next time we can afford it.

Queer Coded: A History of LGBTQIA+ Gaming

I missed the second half of this to see David Gaider, feeling very annoyed at the programmer.

Anny Sims @ChattyAnny on twitter (I was too slow to get the others!) Keely Thirkell Hayley Williams Soap Pejovic

Most queer characters are just queer coded, with plausible deniability. "It's up to you".Tendency for queer characters to be villains. Indie games tend to be more queer friendly than AAA games.

Lesbians: First known queer character in games: 1986 Moonmist had side-character who was a lesbian murderer.

Other notable lesbian characters:

KOTOR 2003, Juhani, first queer Star Wars character

Gone Home 2013

Dragon Age Inquisition Sera (I thought Sam Traynor from Mass Effect 3 came first?)

Tracer from Overwatch 2016

Trans characters:

1988 Birdo from Super Mario Brothers 2 "A male who believes he is female"

Lots of others but all terrible. Jokes and villains. Trans women seen as threat. Poison from Final Fight 1989, "so you can hit a woman".

Krem DAI 2014 trans man, You can't go "Ok, cool".

Hainly Adams MEA 2017 trans woman. Tells you her deadname, this was patched.

Horizon: Zero Dawn 2017 trans man

Dream Daddy 2017 trans man. One throw away line about wearing a binder, had to be clarified by writers. Non binary people and cosplayers wear binders too!

How do you make it clear they're trans without them implausibly outing themselves or just having it be word of god?

Gay men:

1993 fmv Dracula Unleashed has speaking role

Tended to be background characters, jokes and villains again. No m/m relationships shown onscreen.

Dreamfall: the Longest Journey 2006 (not made super clear until 2015)

Steve Cortez Mass Effect 3 2012

Dorian DAI 2014

Dorian knew exactly what his sexuality was. Coming of age narratives get boring.

Bi Characters (no picture because they're invisible):

1993 Ultima 7 part 2 bi character propositions character regardless of gender.

"Slutty bisexuals". A lot of characters are playersexual and it never comes up outside the relationship.

Zevran DAO 2009

Borderlands 2009

Fable 2004 let player be bi, Fable 2 2008 added bi PCs

Playersexual:

Only queer in the context that they will date players of both genders, but you don't see that unless you play as both.

Dragon Age 2 2011, Anders only mentions his ex-boyfriend if you play as a male PC

Fallout 4 2015. Did have background queer characters.

Stardew Valley 2016

Non Binary:

1995 Chrono Trigger villain

Often robots, aliens or other non human

Frisk Undertale 2015

Life is Strange 2015

Zer0 Borderlands 2 2012

Turing Read Only Memories

Some games let you have gender neutral pronouns.

David Gaider Q&A

1999 Working on Balder's Gate 2, didn't talk about his sexuality at work. Figured he would always be writing stories for straight people.

He was shocked to hear Jade Empire was having same sex romance. Got to be lead writer on DAO after that. "So I can put same sex romances in, right?". More economical to have bi romances, but he would have been happier having some gay characters.

Feeling iffy about playersexuality after DA2, he asked for 2 straight, 2 bi, 2 gay for DAI. "Minority content" is weighed via the percentage of those who play it and those who appreciate it. Eg 5% play dwarves but most see it as a positive thing to be able to do.

Most of his time was spent on the actual plot but Dorian was the most personal writing.

He was targeted by Gamergate but it doesn't compare to, for example, how much Jennifer Helper was targeted.

10 years on Dragon Age was enough, his head would explode if he had to write another story about templars and mages.

How did you get the job: His story is very specific. He was managing a hotel and a comic book artist in his spare time. A friend was a character artist at Bioware but Gaider wasn't really aware of the specifics. Bioware told their employees "If you know anyone who does game related writing let us know", the friend gave them Gaider's LARP rule book without asking. Got a call, gave the stories he wrote in highschool, got offered a job. He said no, it didn't pay enough, but then he got fired from the hotel. It felt like a sign.  

Who do you think will take the romance torch from Bioware: he’s not sure they're giving it up? EA treats romance fans as a reliable audience who don't need to be advertised to, even though it's why a lot of people play in his experience (though obviously those are the kinds of fans he will tend to meet). There is an underserved audience.

Most proud of: Lots of stuff he's not proud of. Wishes he'd been more involved in community discussions early on. Proud that the team tackled issues as they started arising. Proud of the company for standing by them. Most proud of Dragon Age 2 despite the mixed response. They had very little time to create it. It’s like a very big first draft. They had a plan but didn't get to compare notes once things were written, so he had to trust the team would stick to plan as much as they could despite things being cut on the fly. Team said they were happy in a post-game survey, didn't feel he was too dictatorial.

What does your writing look like, a screenplay? A cutscene does. But it’s generally structured like a tree that expands and then contracts back to the core path before expanding again. Flow charts.

Favourite relationship in a game? Morden in Mass Effect. Cried more than in a movie. Tali was his space girlfriend. Of the ones he's worked on, Morrigan will always be closest. She represents Dragon Age to him. Joyous time working with Claudia Black, first celebrity he'd worked with. Flemeth was originally Arabic, but that actress couldn't do it so they got Kate Mulgrew. They stopped looking for an Arabic actress for Morrigan and looked for someone who matched Kate Mulgrew. Claudia Black's audition tape was her reading Smack That like a beat poet. Gaider was very nervous, he'd never spoken to any actor before. First rule he was told was don't compare them to another celebrity, so naturally he said "I had Helena Bonham Carter in mind when I wrote Morrigan". Claudia Black said "So you're saying I'm a cheap Helena Bonham Carter ;D". She would say "Does he want me to do it more like Helena?" during recording.

Has being so closely associated with diversity had downsides? He may be gay but he's still white and a dude. He feels like it's all he talks about conventions sometimes. Teams need to sit down and look at what they've made. Lot of things made individually without concern for the bigger picture eg only 15% speaking roles in DAI were female until they stopped and looked at it and fixed it.  

"We didn't think about it" is no longer a defense. He wants to help with that, but we should be helping other marginalised voices get into the industry and amplifying their voices.

Wishes it could just be expected and we didn't have to discuss it.

He likes dating sim mechanics in the context of a larger story. But he does like the idea of romance not being as tertiary as it's been in Bioware games, romance as part of the adventure eg a romantic adventure. He's not really interested in social sims or day to day relationships. "My idea of a spicy relationship is to have my life threatened."

Why do you think most AAA companies try to avoid discussions of lgbt stuff, why is it taking so long? Because it's Pandora's Box. There is more being added casually. But if they do nothing they get lumped in with the rest of the industry. As soon as they do anything there are 2 sides: 1. why are you doing this, you're politicising your game. 2. Why aren't you doing more, whatever you did is wrong and not good enough.

Not that flawed attempts should be above criticism. But by mostly focusing criticism on the games that did anything rather than nothing, people have increased the feeling that it's Pandoras box. He understands that it feels like those developers might listen to criticism but the dynamic is sending the wrong lesson.

My question: How do you think inclusion of non binary player characters can work with including gay and lesbian love interests instead of just having playsexuality? “We've thought about it”. He defined playersexual for audience, like Shroedinger's sexuality. He doesn't like it when the only way to have something show up is to have the character talk about it. eg asexual: character would have to sit you down and explain what asexuality is. Is unsexy as a feature. Explaining nuances of sexuality is off putting. If there was more nuance across the industry that would mean no one game has to do everything. Any one game can have only so much within it.

(This doesn't actually answer my question. I discussed it with my husband afterwards and even he didn't understand what I was asking, so I may have garbled it in my nervousness)

Are some choices "canon"? One of the features of Mass Effect and Dragon Age was the continuity of choices. No "canon" but there is a default. A lot of people feel like they have to play the whole series to get the full experience, was off putting, and he found the Keep a nightmare as a writer.

They had editors keeping track of which choices were incompatible. And that was just the third game. "Can you imagine for a fourth game? Phew! Not my problem :D"

Have you thought about the morals of gamifying romance, saying what people want to hear to get sex? Dragon Age didn't work that way, sex was not at the end. Some characters in DAI had no sex scenes, sex is optional for Dorian's romance. It's a game, everything is gamified, you can't simulate actual relationships. For proper reactivity you’d have to mark every response and keep track of inconsistency, but that’s too much work. Same with polyamory: too many variables!

Maybe get away from the approval system? Pay more attention to overall choices in major quests etc instead of individual lines.

Bi characters in DAI were bi from the start. Not the first thing that comes up during character creation eg Dorian started out as "the good Tevinter". Helps avoid too many assumptions based on sexuality. But once characters started solidifying they would think about who worked for what sexualities. There's no set way to write someone "as" bi, but the writer can have them talk about relevant things in other scenes. Sera's writer is a straight dude, he didn't want to write About The Lesbian Experience, and got lesbians in the company to check out what he was writing.

Have relationships gotten more or less complicated? In Balder's gate 2 there was a single sequence of romance scenes which you could get kicked off. Dragon Age had approval. If it gets complicated but the player can't see it or understand how reactions relate to their previous actions it just seems random or predetermined. Unless they say "I am angry at you because of X", but noone says that.

Brian Fairbanks Talks about Addressing Accessibility Through Game Design

lostandhound1 on twitter

His notes.

He's not blind himself, and while he obviously cares a lot about accessibility had an unfortunate tendency to treat disabled people as a separate, if respected, "Other" to himself and the audience, even though I was right there in a bright red mobility scooter. He advocated person first language, "a person with blindness" etc, but not all disabled people like it and it shouldn't be presented as unambiguous best practice. I'm building up the energy to talk to him about it.

He's a sound designer.

Audio games: designed for people with a vision disability.

Audio game jam: the games tended to be about blindness as a bad thing. It felt victimising.

How can we make people feel powerful?

He was inspired by his dog's amazing sense of smell. The mechanic is that you follow an invisible trail using sound cues, a humming noise that gets louder and quieter.

Sighted people struggle with extracting information from sound. The game is more difficult for sighted people.

He had to add fruit on the ground as an accessibility measure for sighted people.

All music is diegetic: happening inside the world of the game, eg characters are singing.

There's a lack of much budget for audio games, since they're never going to make much money.

In 30 years current 30-something gamers will need accessible games.

Accessibility tends to be added as an afterthought or accident.

For example Pokemon has unique sounds for materials, collisions, monsters that accidentally make it accessible.

Sony reader: US only

Microsoft narrator: good but hard to use as a developer

EA: Proactively adding blind accessibility

Fighting games are often in stereo, blind players can play and even win tournaments.

Demand more from your games.

Developers: find a consultant. Address accessibility early.

It's about empathy. People with disability deserve the same stories to take part in as everyone else.

gameaccessibilityguidelines.com

daisyalesoundworks

binaural sound is going to make a big difference

audiogames.net: where blind gamers go to play games. They're supportive if you ask for advice and feedback.

People don't mind if you don't do immersive, game specific voices and just rely on the screenreader

Sound designers need more love to make VR accessible.  

Braille games?? He doesn't know much about it.

Curb cut effect examples: curb cuts for wheelchairs but also useful for prams etc. Subtitles. Think about short term problems that benefit from accessibility as well eg the screen is broken, there's sunlight on the screen etc.  

Sounds of a blind person navigating their desktop. To me it sounds like a mangled garble of little bursts of cut off computer speech, here’s a description of what’s going on.

[travisandersondatingblog]

How To Kiss a Guy: Become A Kissing Goddess With These 7 Tips

Whether you’ve kissed one guy or 100, I think it never hurts to have a refresher on how to kiss a guy.

That’s why I created this very silly video. About three months ago, I released a video with Steve, illustrating exactly how you sexy single ladies should touch a man. Now that video has since gone viral, reaching hundreds of thousands of women all over the world. Who would’ve thunk? So I’ve decided, for this video, I’m bringing in Steve’s girlfriend, Stefania, to teach you sexy single ladies how to kiss a guy so that he wants you even more.

Before you say, nah, Adam. I got kissing covered. I’m already a pro, let me share something with you: YourTango conducted a survey and found that only 52% of people think their partner is a good kisser. So…are you sure you fall into that category, or can you let me give you a few pointers on how to kiss a guy?

In this video and this article, I’m going to be talking about different types of kisses, how to kiss a guy, and how to be a better kisser when you’re dating men.

But I’ve got to warn you, if you are under the age of 18, please do not watch this video. It’s likely just a little bit inappropriate for you. (Hopefully, that warning didn’t do the opposite and make you decide to watch it! Come back when you’re 18!)

But if you’re 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, or beyond, please watch this whole video, because I guarantee that this will change the way that you kiss a man forever.

Get a notepad handy, because you’re gonna want to take notes!

Your coach,

      P.S. If you want a little help in the flirting department, check out my new Flirting Workshop. It will teach you three ways that you can connect with a guy on a much more emotional level and be much better at flirting as well when you’re going out meeting new guys.

Summary of How to Kiss a Guy

Ah, kissing. It’s the hallmark of dating, and a great way to communicate that you like a guy. Before I get into specific tips on how to kiss a guy, let’s go over the different types of kisses and when they are appropriate.

For starters, there’s the peck on the cheek. Now clearly, the peck on the cheek is really mostly for a friendly kiss, right? If you’ve known someone for a long time or if someone is a good friend, whether it’s a guy or a gal, you’re probably going to kiss them on the cheek.

But it’s also really good when you’re going out on a second date with a guy.

Let’s say you went out on a first date and didn’t kiss on that date. If you want to show interest when you see the guy for the second date, give him that peck on the cheek kiss. It’s going to boost his confidence and make him realize that you’re interested in him. Yes, you’ve agreed to go on a second date, but some guys will still wonder: Is she really into me? 

So by giving him that peck, it’s going to really help communicate your interest.

Every type of kiss means something different.

The second type of kiss is the peck on the lips. For me at least (feel free to argue in the comments below), the quick peck on the lips is really only appropriate if you’re in a long-term relationship.

Like when I see my girlfriend, Jess, that’s probably what we’re going to do, it’s just:

A quick peck…

An I love you…

That’s it. It’s a way to check in with someone you’re in love with and let them know you care, even if you’re in a hurry out the door.

But if you’re those early stages of dating, there’s really not that much place for that peck on the lips. Either you’re going in for a real kiss, or you’re giving nothing at all. So I’m not a huge fan of the peck on the lips for you women who are just in those early stages of dating.

Next is the quicky tongue kiss, where there’s not a lot of tongue, just a little bit of tongue, with the kiss.

Now the quicky tongue kiss is really for a first kiss. I think a lot of women get this wrong when it comes to a first kiss. If you’re sharing a first kiss with a guy you’re into, you don’t want to go from not kissing at all to then just sucking face for ten minutes.

It’s great to give him just a little bit of tongue, a little bit of lips, and then back away. This allows you to enjoy the moment and gauge his response. You’re not jumping the gun and giving him a full-blown tongue-down-the-throat kiss.

Which brings me to the final type of kiss, which is the tongue-down-the-throat, hardcore make-out kiss. By the way, my assistant in the video, Stefania loves this kiss.

Now when it comes to the hardcore make-out kiss, know that this may very well lead to sex, or at the very least, heavy petting. So use cautiously when you’re ready to take things further.

So now that we’ve gone over the different types of kisses and when they are appropriate and when they’re not appropriate, let’s talk about a few tips on how to kiss a guy.

There are several things to consider when learning (or improving) how to kiss a guy, including:

Make sure your breath is fresh

Be unpredictable

Kiss him slowly

Let him kiss you

Kiss other places besides the lips

Enjoy the moment

Close your eyes

DON’T rush it

Let’s look at each of these kissing tips in more detail, shall we?

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 1. First Things First: Your Breath!

This tip is fairly easy: make sure your breath isn’t nasty. Research from the Oral Health Foundation found that 35% of people find bad breath such a turnoff that they wouldn’t ask for a second date.

Look, I know some people just have ongoing breath problems and I understand that there are some serious medical challenges that some people are going through that cause bad breath. But barring that, if you’re not in that situation, then please, oral hygiene is so important when it comes to dates.

Please floss and brush your teeth, then do it again.

If you have the Sonicare brush, make sure you do all two minutes, then do it again before your date.

Don’t eat garlic or anything odiferous on your date because, I’m telling you, the easiest way to turn a man completely off from ever wanting to kiss you or be near you is stank breath.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 2. Be Unpredictable

Keep him guessing what’s next in the kiss.

No one likes a lady who kisses like a robot. Same speed. Same effort. Instead, try being unpredictable with your kissing. Go from being fast and a little aggressive to slowing it down a little bit, to then maybe biting his lip (gently, please!), to then pulling away for a second (a great way to swallow that spit without being obvious), then maybe kissing his neck a little. Maybe move your head from one direction to the other halfway through.

Unpredictable is very, very sexy when it comes to kissing.

Now, this detailed instruction on how to be more unpredictable when kissing a man is more appropriate for a kiss when you’ve been dating a while. A first kiss might be a little shorter and exploratory as you get to know each other’s kissing style. But still, even then: mix it up.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 3. Kiss Him Slowly

You are not in a race to get to the end of the kiss, lady!

Even if things get hot and heavy, it’s okay to slow things down, especially if you’re not ready to take things further than that kiss.

I know you’re in the heat of passion: there’s so much tension that has built up over time, with you wanting to finally kiss him and him wanting to kiss you, and you just want to ravish each other.

But please, slow it down a little bit.

You backing off from making that kiss take you both to the moon is going to make him want to chase you even more. It may seem silly to worry about him chasing you when you’re only having your first kiss, but you need to be aware of everything you communicate when you’re with this guy because it all adds up to how he sees you and how much he does or doesn’t want you over time.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 4. Let Him Kiss You

Wanna know how to kiss a guy? Let him kiss you!

I get it. You’re a grown ass woman and you’re not afraid to make the first move.

This guy may totally be into you taking charge, but you don’t yet know if that’s the case on that first kiss. Some guys like to be traditional and make the first move. They may feel their masculinity is threatened if you as the lady do all the heavy lifting on that date. Hey, don’t look at me! I’m a feminist!

 Unless you just absolutely have to be dominant in a relationship, it’s great to allow him to take the lead rather than you jumping on top of him and sticking your tongue down his throat. Save that kiss for when you’re more comfortable with each other and you know he’ll respond positively.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 5. Kiss Him Other Places Besides the Lips

Hey, take your mind out of the gutter!

I was talking about the neck.

Kissing a man on the neck or even the ear is a great way to build even more intimacy as you start to explore each other’s bodies, but aren’t yet doing much more than kissing.

It’s going to turn him on, and it’s going to show him that you like sexual variety. I’m telling you, it’s going to drive him absolutely nuts.

That being said, maybe don’t kiss him on the cheek or forehead if you’re in the middle of a makeout session. Might send a confusing message!

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 6. Enjoy the Moment

Enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the kiss.

I know it’s easy to get caught up in your head on a first kiss, but I encourage you to ignore that voice:

Am I doing this right?

Wow, he uses a LOT of tongue.

Does kissing on a first date make me seem slutty?

I need to pick up my dry cleaning after this date.

I don’t get Zen very often, but allow me to be here: just enjoy the moment. It’s just a kiss. There’s no reason to overthink it. This man is not going to judge your worth as a human being based on this first kiss. It’s more important that there’s chemistry and that the two of you connect than that you score an A+ on that kissing test!

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 7. Make That First Kiss Count

Now that I’ve told you to get out of your head, particularly with that first kiss, let me make you worry again.

It may be worthwhile to put your all into that first kiss: in a S.U.N.Y. Albany survey, 59% of men and 66% of women said they’d ended a relationship because the first kiss wasn’t great. That first kiss can be an indicator of what’s to come, and if it’s lackluster, it could indicate to your date that you won’t be very passionate in the future.

So try not to be nervous and go with the flow, using these kissing tips to make your first kiss a memorable one.

The Ultimate DON’T of How to Kiss a Guy: DON’T Rush It!

Read his signals to know if he even wants to kiss you.

You may be impatient to get that first kiss over with. You may be so into this guy that you can’t wait to lock lips.

If you’re in a hurry, you might miss the signs that he’s not as excited about kissing you as you are him. And so you might lean in…

Gaze adoringly into his eyes…

Press your lips to his…

Give him a little tongue…

And open your eyes…

To see him pull away, a look of horror on his face.

You don’t want that, am I right? So rather than rushing that first kiss, pay attention to the vibes he’s giving off.

Is he touching your arm, waist, or face throughout the night? Has he been holding your hand? Does he lean in when you talk? His body language will tell you how into you he is.

But the fact is: he can be totally into you and still not want to kiss on the first date. Some guys take their time. They may not want to pressure you if they’re not sure you kiss on the first date, or they may want time after the date to reflect on how it went before taking that next step. That’s another reason why it’s good to let him take the lead when it comes to kissing.

Conclusion:

Ready for your pop quiz on how to kiss a guy?

Should you take initiative and kiss him first?

Should you rush through that kiss?

Should you order garlic pasta on your date?

Should you analyze the kiss as it’s happening?

Right. The answer to all these questions is a resounding NO. You’re ready to get out there and start smooching, Sexy, Confident Lady!

Every man you will kiss in your life will have a different style. Be adaptable, and enjoy it.

You’ll kiss guys who slobber.

You’ll kiss guys who don’t use their tongues. Ever.

You’ll kiss guys who use their tongues like an egg beater. Round and round and round!

And then you’ll kiss one guy who is perfect for you. Consider yourself Goldilocks. You will have to try out different kisses to find the ultimate kiss that will be enough for you for the rest of your life.

He (and that kiss) are out there. So just keep practicing until then!

Got any tips on how to kiss a guy to share with other readers? Leave them in the comments below!

Think that flirting is about hair tossing and eyelash batting? You’re so from Meet Positives SM Feed 3 http://ift.tt/2CiStYz via IFTTT

[fayecallasdatingblog]

How To Kiss a Guy: Become A Kissing Goddess With These 7 Tips

Whether you’ve kissed one guy or 100, I think it never hurts to have a refresher on how to kiss a guy.

That’s why I created this very silly video. About three months ago, I released a video with Steve, illustrating exactly how you sexy single ladies should touch a man. Now that video has since gone viral, reaching hundreds of thousands of women all over the world. Who would’ve thunk? So I’ve decided, for this video, I’m bringing in Steve’s girlfriend, Stefania, to teach you sexy single ladies how to kiss a guy so that he wants you even more.

Before you say, nah, Adam. I got kissing covered. I’m already a pro, let me share something with you: YourTango conducted a survey and found that only 52% of people think their partner is a good kisser. So…are you sure you fall into that category, or can you let me give you a few pointers on how to kiss a guy?

In this video and this article, I’m going to be talking about different types of kisses, how to kiss a guy, and how to be a better kisser when you’re dating men.

But I’ve got to warn you, if you are under the age of 18, please do not watch this video. It’s likely just a little bit inappropriate for you. (Hopefully, that warning didn’t do the opposite and make you decide to watch it! Come back when you’re 18!)

But if you’re 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, or beyond, please watch this whole video, because I guarantee that this will change the way that you kiss a man forever.

Get a notepad handy, because you’re gonna want to take notes!

Your coach,

      P.S. If you want a little help in the flirting department, check out my new Flirting Workshop. It will teach you three ways that you can connect with a guy on a much more emotional level and be much better at flirting as well when you’re going out meeting new guys.

Summary of How to Kiss a Guy

Ah, kissing. It’s the hallmark of dating, and a great way to communicate that you like a guy. Before I get into specific tips on how to kiss a guy, let’s go over the different types of kisses and when they are appropriate.

For starters, there’s the peck on the cheek. Now clearly, the peck on the cheek is really mostly for a friendly kiss, right? If you’ve known someone for a long time or if someone is a good friend, whether it’s a guy or a gal, you’re probably going to kiss them on the cheek.

But it’s also really good when you’re going out on a second date with a guy.

Let’s say you went out on a first date and didn’t kiss on that date. If you want to show interest when you see the guy for the second date, give him that peck on the cheek kiss. It’s going to boost his confidence and make him realize that you’re interested in him. Yes, you’ve agreed to go on a second date, but some guys will still wonder: Is she really into me? 

So by giving him that peck, it’s going to really help communicate your interest.

Every type of kiss means something different.

The second type of kiss is the peck on the lips. For me at least (feel free to argue in the comments below), the quick peck on the lips is really only appropriate if you’re in a long-term relationship.

Like when I see my girlfriend, Jess, that’s probably what we’re going to do, it’s just:

A quick peck…

An I love you…

That’s it. It’s a way to check in with someone you’re in love with and let them know you care, even if you’re in a hurry out the door.

But if you’re those early stages of dating, there’s really not that much place for that peck on the lips. Either you’re going in for a real kiss, or you’re giving nothing at all. So I’m not a huge fan of the peck on the lips for you women who are just in those early stages of dating.

Next is the quicky tongue kiss, where there’s not a lot of tongue, just a little bit of tongue, with the kiss.

Now the quicky tongue kiss is really for a first kiss. I think a lot of women get this wrong when it comes to a first kiss. If you’re sharing a first kiss with a guy you’re into, you don’t want to go from not kissing at all to then just sucking face for ten minutes.

It’s great to give him just a little bit of tongue, a little bit of lips, and then back away. This allows you to enjoy the moment and gauge his response. You’re not jumping the gun and giving him a full-blown tongue-down-the-throat kiss.

Which brings me to the final type of kiss, which is the tongue-down-the-throat, hardcore make-out kiss. By the way, my assistant in the video, Stefania loves this kiss.

Now when it comes to the hardcore make-out kiss, know that this may very well lead to sex, or at the very least, heavy petting. So use cautiously when you’re ready to take things further.

So now that we’ve gone over the different types of kisses and when they are appropriate and when they’re not appropriate, let’s talk about a few tips on how to kiss a guy.

There are several things to consider when learning (or improving) how to kiss a guy, including:

Make sure your breath is fresh

Be unpredictable

Kiss him slowly

Let him kiss you

Kiss other places besides the lips

Enjoy the moment

Close your eyes

DON’T rush it

Let’s look at each of these kissing tips in more detail, shall we?

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 1. First Things First: Your Breath!

This tip is fairly easy: make sure your breath isn’t nasty. Research from the Oral Health Foundation found that 35% of people find bad breath such a turnoff that they wouldn’t ask for a second date.

Look, I know some people just have ongoing breath problems and I understand that there are some serious medical challenges that some people are going through that cause bad breath. But barring that, if you’re not in that situation, then please, oral hygiene is so important when it comes to dates.

Please floss and brush your teeth, then do it again.

If you have the Sonicare brush, make sure you do all two minutes, then do it again before your date.

Don’t eat garlic or anything odiferous on your date because, I’m telling you, the easiest way to turn a man completely off from ever wanting to kiss you or be near you is stank breath.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 2. Be Unpredictable

Keep him guessing what’s next in the kiss.

No one likes a lady who kisses like a robot. Same speed. Same effort. Instead, try being unpredictable with your kissing. Go from being fast and a little aggressive to slowing it down a little bit, to then maybe biting his lip (gently, please!), to then pulling away for a second (a great way to swallow that spit without being obvious), then maybe kissing his neck a little. Maybe move your head from one direction to the other halfway through.

Unpredictable is very, very sexy when it comes to kissing.

Now, this detailed instruction on how to be more unpredictable when kissing a man is more appropriate for a kiss when you’ve been dating a while. A first kiss might be a little shorter and exploratory as you get to know each other’s kissing style. But still, even then: mix it up.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 3. Kiss Him Slowly

You are not in a race to get to the end of the kiss, lady!

Even if things get hot and heavy, it’s okay to slow things down, especially if you’re not ready to take things further than that kiss.

I know you’re in the heat of passion: there’s so much tension that has built up over time, with you wanting to finally kiss him and him wanting to kiss you, and you just want to ravish each other.

But please, slow it down a little bit.

You backing off from making that kiss take you both to the moon is going to make him want to chase you even more. It may seem silly to worry about him chasing you when you’re only having your first kiss, but you need to be aware of everything you communicate when you’re with this guy because it all adds up to how he sees you and how much he does or doesn’t want you over time.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 4. Let Him Kiss You

Wanna know how to kiss a guy? Let him kiss you!

I get it. You’re a grown ass woman and you’re not afraid to make the first move.

This guy may totally be into you taking charge, but you don’t yet know if that’s the case on that first kiss. Some guys like to be traditional and make the first move. They may feel their masculinity is threatened if you as the lady do all the heavy lifting on that date. Hey, don’t look at me! I’m a feminist!

 Unless you just absolutely have to be dominant in a relationship, it’s great to allow him to take the lead rather than you jumping on top of him and sticking your tongue down his throat. Save that kiss for when you’re more comfortable with each other and you know he’ll respond positively.

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 5. Kiss Him Other Places Besides the Lips

Hey, take your mind out of the gutter!

I was talking about the neck.

Kissing a man on the neck or even the ear is a great way to build even more intimacy as you start to explore each other’s bodies, but aren’t yet doing much more than kissing.

It’s going to turn him on, and it’s going to show him that you like sexual variety. I’m telling you, it’s going to drive him absolutely nuts.

That being said, maybe don’t kiss him on the cheek or forehead if you’re in the middle of a makeout session. Might send a confusing message!

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 6. Enjoy the Moment

Enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the kiss.

I know it’s easy to get caught up in your head on a first kiss, but I encourage you to ignore that voice:

Am I doing this right?

Wow, he uses a LOT of tongue.

Does kissing on a first date make me seem slutty?

I need to pick up my dry cleaning after this date.

I don’t get Zen very often, but allow me to be here: just enjoy the moment. It’s just a kiss. There’s no reason to overthink it. This man is not going to judge your worth as a human being based on this first kiss. It’s more important that there’s chemistry and that the two of you connect than that you score an A+ on that kissing test!

How to Kiss a Guy Tip 7. Make That First Kiss Count

Now that I’ve told you to get out of your head, particularly with that first kiss, let me make you worry again.

It may be worthwhile to put your all into that first kiss: in a S.U.N.Y. Albany survey, 59% of men and 66% of women said they’d ended a relationship because the first kiss wasn’t great. That first kiss can be an indicator of what’s to come, and if it’s lackluster, it could indicate to your date that you won’t be very passionate in the future.

So try not to be nervous and go with the flow, using these kissing tips to make your first kiss a memorable one.

The Ultimate DON’T of How to Kiss a Guy: DON’T Rush It!

Read his signals to know if he even wants to kiss you.

You may be impatient to get that first kiss over with. You may be so into this guy that you can’t wait to lock lips.

If you’re in a hurry, you might miss the signs that he’s not as excited about kissing you as you are him. And so you might lean in…

Gaze adoringly into his eyes…

Press your lips to his…

Give him a little tongue…

And open your eyes…

To see him pull away, a look of horror on his face.

You don’t want that, am I right? So rather than rushing that first kiss, pay attention to the vibes he’s giving off.

Is he touching your arm, waist, or face throughout the night? Has he been holding your hand? Does he lean in when you talk? His body language will tell you how into you he is.

But the fact is: he can be totally into you and still not want to kiss on the first date. Some guys take their time. They may not want to pressure you if they’re not sure you kiss on the first date, or they may want time after the date to reflect on how it went before taking that next step. That’s another reason why it’s good to let him take the lead when it comes to kissing.

Conclusion:

Ready for your pop quiz on how to kiss a guy?

Should you take initiative and kiss him first?

Should you rush through that kiss?

Should you order garlic pasta on your date?

Should you analyze the kiss as it’s happening?

Right. The answer to all these questions is a resounding NO. You’re ready to get out there and start smooching, Sexy, Confident Lady!

Every man you will kiss in your life will have a different style. Be adaptable, and enjoy it.

You’ll kiss guys who slobber.

You’ll kiss guys who don’t use their tongues. Ever.

You’ll kiss guys who use their tongues like an egg beater. Round and round and round!

And then you’ll kiss one guy who is perfect for you. Consider yourself Goldilocks. You will have to try out different kisses to find the ultimate kiss that will be enough for you for the rest of your life.

He (and that kiss) are out there. So just keep practicing until then!

Got any tips on how to kiss a guy to share with other readers? Leave them in the comments below!

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