#finally went to the doctor and got migraine medication

[artificial-condition]

Having a gap year was really great for me because it was the first time in my adult life that I was able to just sit with myself. Figure myself out. Work on myself. Even though I had been an adult for several years, I feel like I really matured in my year of nothing. I now feel much more firm in who I am, even with opposition; I have always been a big pushover, letting other people do whatever they wanted and letting my desires go to the side, but now I am much more likely to assert what I want and tell people no. I’ll just do and be without analyzing what others want or expect of me, and it’s so refreshing to let that go. People really do grow in the cracks

[raeathnos]

.

[wlwprker]

please don’t leave s.r. x gn! reader [1]

a/n: im a sucker for hurt/comfort i fear; wrote this with s3-4 & migraine reid in mind but you can choose whichever one you prefer! (this got super long so i’m going to make this into parts!)

warnings: minimal proofreading, some swearing, brief descriptions of basic criminal minds violence (cases and whatnot), mentions of blood

wc: 1,374

you and the team were tirelessly hunting down an unsub before he hurt any more women. the unsub was going after single women in their mid-30s or 40s who were in higher-stakes jobs such as congresswoman, lawyer, doctor, etc.

the unsub felt these women should stay at home and be housewives instead of being out in authority like jobs. the unsub’s mother was the same way, and he never had a proper childhood. he longed for a better relationship with his mother, so he stripped children’s mothers away from them.

time was running out, and everybody was running on little to no sleep, working on every detail to not miss a single thing. after many hours of looking into every victim, every connection, and every location, you finally found him. everyone raced against the clock, finally got his location, and were able to rescue three girls. you felt a tiny sense of relief at this fact; it helps to know you could still save people.

you knew this unsub’s type, and while you knew that you didn’t meet the criteria, there was no telling what he’d do to get his way.

“stay with me, okay?” spencer ordered in a soft tone. he was just being a good team member, and while you both knew that you could hold your own,.

this killer. he was erratic and aggressive.

you knew that spencer would give you a lecture if he knew that you ignored his orders, but that was the least of your worries.

you rounded a corner with your gun held out in front of you, and you took in every corner on high alert. you peeked inside a room, checking your surroundings before entering. the lights were off, and of course the light switch was not working.

you turned your flashlight on, and you had your back turned for not even half a second.

as soon as you turned around, the unsub attempted to throw you across the room, but you caught his wrist in a forceful grip.

“you don’t need to do this. this ends now," you said in a firm voice, but the unsub did not listen. you tried to get him to back down, but he wasn’t listening. you kept your gun raised, but you could not see where he went.

“you’re not my type, but I’ll take my chances, the unsub said, and you started to turn around, but before you could react, he had raised a crowbar and hit you in the head, and you had collapsed to the floor. you were dizzy, and your vision was blurry as you attempted to stand up.

the sound of a thud had alerted the entire team, and everyone was on extra-high alert, thoroughly checking every corner of the house and looking for the source.

“spencer, where did they go?” emily whispered, noticing they were down an agent. spencer’s heart dropped to the floor; he must have turned around when you slipped away from him.

“son of a bitch! i told them to stay with me,” spencer mumbled to himself.

spencer took a deep breath to calm himself down as the two of them searched the house. spencer froze in place when he walked into a pitch-black room and saw you lying on the floor. he was internally panicking.

“can you hear me?” spencer asked, and you were slipping in and out; everything around you was blurring, and everyone talking to you sounded like they were millions of miles away.

after a while, you could no longer hear or see anything; you were knocked out. spencer took a shaky breath as he placed two fingers on the side of your neck and sighed in relief when he found a pulse.

“we need a medic!” emily yelled into her walkie-talkie. spencer was freaking out, wondering what he could have done to prevent this.

“hey, it’s not your fault; you know that, right?” jj said as she watched spencer internally cursing himself.

“i turned around for barely a second, and they just...” spencer trailed off, and jj led him out of the house as they had successfully located the unsub and arrested him.

after a painful silence, the medics arrived and took you out on a gurney. the side of your head was bleeding, and you were not waking up.

“go, I’ll tell hotch; he’ll understand, emily said as she watched spencer look at you with a pained look on his face. he silently nodded and stayed with the medics as they took you to the hospital.

the ride to the hospital was a deadly silence; he longed for your voice, even one of your silly jokes, anything.

once you got to the hospital, despite his best efforts, spencer was sent to the waiting room. as he waited for the verdict, he was bouncing his knees constantly, his mind racing with millions of possibilities.

he hated waiting. not knowing if you were okay drove him crazy; he wanted to scream.

the doctor came out, and spencer stood up fast. he listened intently, and a sigh of relief washed over him as the doctor told him that you were going to be okay.

“am I able to see them?” spencer asked anxiously, and the doctor nodded. “yes, they need lots of rest, but you can go visit.” the doctor smiled as they walked to your room.

his heart ached when he saw you lying on a bed with a bandage on the side of your head and hooked up to a machine, peacefully sleeping.

he was so glad you’re okay.

spencer took a seat and watched you cautiously; he didn’t want to disturb you.

you slowly opened your eyes, saw spencer, and smiled lightly.

“hey spence, did you guys catch him?” you asked faintly. spencer’s heart twisted in agony at the sound of your voice.

“we did, but you need your rest. i just wanted to see how you were doing.”

you smiled and tried to sit up, but spencer stopped you with a warning look in his eyes.

“don’t move; you need to rest.”

“i’m fine; it was just a scratch.” you attempted to joke, but it came out weakly.

“you got hit in the head with a crowbar, and you passed out—more than scratch there,” spencer said, sighing.

“the doctor said i could go home within the next few days, maybe sooner,” you said, and spencer didn’t respond; he just held your hand with a sad look on his face.

“hey, i’m okay.”

he cut you off with a deep sigh.

“why did you ignore my orders? i told you to stay with me. damn it, why didn’t you stay? i don’t know what I would have done if” spencer trailed off.

“i’m fine, spencer.”

“no, you’re not; you got hurt!” spencer was frustrated. how could you not see this was killing him?

“but I’m here; i’m going to be...”

“stop talking.”

you looked at him strangely, confused as to why he was so on edge.

“spencer, i’m fine; i don’t know what has you so worked up, but...”

“please stop talking,” he said, rubbing his forehead as he finally looked you in the eyes.

“do you know that 258 people in 100,000 enter a coma each year due to acute brain injury?” spencer stated, frustration evident in his voice. you stared at him, confused.

“what does that have to do with anything?"

“you are lucky that you don’t have a brain injury; you could have been at risk of going into a fucking coma for who knows how long! what i’m saying is, i wish you didn’t go off by yourself because i would never forgive myself if i lost you. do you understand me?” spencer said it in a stern voice, which caught you off guard.

“spencer, i can handle myself just fine, and i’m okay, aren’t I?”

spencer shook his head furiously.

“you’re not listening to me.”

the silence filled the room; it was the loudest silence you’ve ever witnessed.

you tried to speak, but spencer just sighed. “you need rest; i’ll come back tomorrow, okay?”

you just nodded, the conversation still on your mind. why was he so upset? you didn’t have the energy to dwell on it.

“spencer,” you called out.

he turned around with a curious look in his eyes.

“can you stay a little longer?” you asked quietly.

[sevenrenny]

Recently a relative asked me why I'm 'suddenly' always sick and that I was so healthy as a kid.

I was never a healthy kid. I was always in pain, but nobody believed me. I complained I had moments of dizziness, momentary visual blurriness and blindness, moments where I couldn't balance myself, and intense migraines so bad I fantasized popping a hole in my skull hoping that would get whatever was hurting me out of my head. I had days where it was just brain fog, but I was too young to know the word 'brain fog'. I'd have days where I was in so much pain I'd vomit.

But I got scolded for 'faking it' for attention or to get out of school. I got punished for 'being lazy'. So little by little, I learned complaining about constant pain that made me suicidal would make things worse for me. People punished me for telling them I was hurting, so I shut up.

Even when I became quiet about it, there were things I couldn't hide and my family rug-swept them: I passed out at school a few times from intense pain. I had multiple intestinal issues my family told me were normal, that 'it happens to everyone', telling me that 'Your dad had that happen so many times' while chuckling like it was funny. Every time, they waited for me to 'stop being dramatic' until I started screaming and writhing on the floor and they finally got me to the ER, scolding me the whole time for 'not saying anything sooner'.

During one of those visits, a doctor found a large tumor I was choking on. He found it by accident when he was putting a tube down my throat. I'd been having trouble breathing, but my family accused me of lying, and I'd started to think I was imagining it. Upon discovering the tumor, my mom's reaction was to scold me for giving myself a tumor.

After the tumor removal, the doctor had told her something seemed odd, and he talked with my mom for a bit but I can't remember what they said. We never went back to this doctor. When I asked my mom about it later, she told me the doctor was stupid and he had no idea what he was doing. (It was in my 20s when I went to check on my intestinal issue that the doctor told me he suspected I had gastroparesis, which he later confirmed it was.)

I struggled with classes because of the combination of undiagnosed medical issues, undiagnosed ADHD, undiagnosed dyscalculia, and having panic attacks (later got diagnosed with c-PTSD). My mom threatened to marry me off or kick me out of the house for almost failing math. I was sworn at, told horrific things that still stick with me (and the rest of the family blamed me for 'being lazy' and making her angry with me). I was a kid and couldn't understand why existing hurt, why, if it was so 'normal' to be in consent agony, everyone else seemed to not be struggling like me. I couldn't wrap my head around why everything that seemed so easy for everyone else was almost impossible for me.

It wasn't until an online friend asked me if I had some sort of disease because I was constantly in the hospital. I told her, "No, not really. What's the average number of times someone's in the hospital?" She said, "Renny, I've never once been to the ER." She was older than me. It was then that it clicked for me. I'd been so convinced that all of this was normal, that I was behind everyone else in life because I must be just a weak person because I was so behind even when I gave it my hardest.

I wasn't behind because I was weak. I was behind because I was never given the assistance I needed.

As soon as I became an adult and financially independent, I started seeking medical help. Got diagnosed with severe chronic migraines and other illnesses typically comorbid with chronic migraines and gastroparesis. (There are some issues I can't get medical help for in my country, so those will have to wait). I'm on medications now. Because of gastroparesis, pills didn't work for me too well, so a friend taught me how to use autoinjectors. I have friends who actually help me, give me advice, drive me to my appointments, and just be there for me emotionally.

Being medicated has made being alive so much more bearable. I can actually live my life now. Yes, I still have days where I'm in pain (not just migraines, but my other conditions, most of which don't have any treatments to manage them) but it's such a massive improvement from where I was before. I'm happier. I go to therapy. I found people I can talk about my pains and conditions freely to without being told I'm faking it or lazy. I don't work myself to the bone anymore; I shouldn't be giving my 100% to a job that refuses me accommodations when I'd need most of that to manage my health.

I'm back to complaining about pain because, before my family trained me to shut up about it, I was doing it right from the beginning. I'm supposed to complain about pain. Just because I can talk about it freely now, doesn't mean I was never sick before. Just because I'm on medications now, doesn't mean I didn't need them years ago.

I'm happier now as an adult. You just don't like that I'm visible about my illnesses now. It makes you uncomfortable that I self-administer injections, that I talk about my health the way that I want to. The thought of chronic illness makes you uncomfortable; you liked it better when I was quiet. You'd rather I don't find diagnoses for my illnesses, because, in your logic, if I don't go get the diagnosis then I'm not sick.

I was never a healthy kid. You just don't want to admit you went along with the rest of the family to abuse a disabled kid for being disabled.

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

“An 11-year-old girl who was misdiagnosed with sickness bugs and migraines was assessed by doctors about 30 times before they found that she had a brain tumour, according to her mother.

Tia Gordon, from Northampton, was admitted to hospital as an emergency despite previous visits to GPs, A&E and calls to 111.

Imogen Darby, Tia’s mother, said her daughter’s glasses prescription had also been changed four times before the tumour was found.

Darby had sought help regarding Tia’s migraines and vomiting for more than three years, before being told that the wait for an MRI scan would be at least eight months. It was only when Tia’s balance and ability to walk were affected that she was given an emergency scan, which found a brain tumour measuring about 3.5cm.”

Darby said: “I was told Tia had stomach bugs and migraines. The first thing I was told, because it was the summer, [was that] she just needed to drink more water.

“After probably a year, she got diagnosed with migraines and they gave her paracetamol for that. She was also given another medication for that and her final diagnosis in January from paediatrics was migraine with sickness.

“Over more than three years, I took Tia to doctors, she was refused MRIs, she was refused to be seen by emergency paediatrics, I called 111, I went to A&E. She had her glasses changed four times, she was given medication and she had a consultant, but it took for her to be unable to walk for her to get the care she needed.”

Darby first noticed Tia’s symptoms in March 2020 when she started vomiting with increasing frequency. Darby twice tried to get her daughter referred to emergency paediatrics, but was declined both times and told it was not an emergency.

Later, Tia began holding her neck in an unusual way and complained about stiffness, for which she was referred to a physiotherapist.

Despite several visits to A&E and calls to GPs and the NHS’s 111 service, Tia’s remained undiagnosed. From November 2023 to January 2024, Tia was vomiting violently every day, and began to lose her balance. “She was tipping her milk out in the kitchen sink,” Darby said. “She was standing there and … she didn’t notice she was doing it at all.”

After a phone call from Tia’s school, which said Tia was holding her neck and was off balance, Darby took her to Northampton General Hospital. While there, Tia was unable to walk in a straight line, and a CT scan revealed a pilocytic astrocytoma — the most common type of brain tumour in children.

Tia was taken to Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham, where she had a ten-hour operation to remove the tumour. “It was quite a horrendous day,” Darby said. “They managed to get 96 per cent of it out.”

Tia called the growth her “astronaut tumour”. Since the procedure, she gets very tired and can sometimes lose her balance. Her recovery will consist of an MRI scan every three months for the next five years, and she is having regular physiotherapy and meetings with neurologists.

She is keen to get back to her hobbies. Darby calls her “Dr Doolittle” due to her love for animals, and added that Tia is a keen reader and enjoys playing dodgeball.

Cameron Miller, director of external affairs and strategy at the Brain Tumour Charity, said “We wish Tia all the best with her continuing treatment and thank Imogen for sharing her story.

“Sadly, it’s one that we often hear. For many brain tumour patients, it simply takes too long to be diagnosed — and this is one of the reasons why we’re calling for a National Brain Tumour Strategy.”

[doc-pickles]

emergency contact | anthony beauvillier

summary: you’re sick and all tito wants is for you to take care of yourself

warnings: mentions of being sick, hospital, a few swears

a/n: this idea popped into my head and I knew it was the perfect thing to write tito into!

enjoy!

xoxo nina

Tito always warned you about taking care of yourself. You had a tendency to get lost in your work and skip meals or leave your water bottle at home and go the whole day without even thinking about taking a sip of water. But when you’d come down with a cold, Beau’s insistence that you take care of yourself grew tenfold.

“Did you take DayQuil?”

“Yes.”

“And ate breakfast?”

“Yes.”

“And you-“

“Anthony,” you cut him off as he stared at you from his place at the door. You never used his full name so he knew you were serious. “I’m fine. I will survive going to work for the day while you do tape review. Okay?”

Tito groaned before nodding and pressing a kiss to your hair, “I’m just worried about you baby. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

You nodded, leaning into Tito slightly before he left for the day. After he shut the door you heaved a sigh before gathering your work things and heading into the office for the day.

It’s only took 45 minutes of being at work before your migraine cropped back up. You pushed it aside as you worked on the document in front of you.

But the pain became worse, to the point where you could barely see your screen. You groaned and shut your laptop, deciding that you needed a snack and a break from your work.

As soon as you stood up your head began to swim, your fingers reaching for the edge of your desk to try and balance yourself. The attempt was futile as your knees buckled and your vision went black.

-

Tito was sitting across from Petey and Brock, the trio spread out across Brock’s living room reviewing film. Just as Elias paused the tape Tito’s phone rang.

“Lemme grab this real quick,” Anthony stood from the couch, Elias throwing a pillow at him.

“Bring back more beer!”

Tito laughed as he answered the call, walking into the kitchen, “Hello?”

“Hi Im calling from Vancouver General Hospital. Is this Anthony Beauvillier?”

“Yeah that’s me. Is uh- is everything okay?”

“I have Y/N Y/L/N in the ER and you’re listed as her emergency contact.”

Tito’s heart dropped as he set the beers in his hands down and went to slip his shoes on. Petey and Brock stared at him but he couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge them as he tried to locate his keys.

“Is she okay? What happened?” Tito tried to keep the panic out of his voice but it was hard when the woman across the line wasn’t telling him anything.

“I can’t release medical information on the phone,” the woman said in a dull monotone. “Would you be able to come down to our emergency department?”

Anthony finally located his keys and made his way toward the front door, “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

As he hung up his phone Anthony finally looked to Brock and Petey who both looked concerned, “Y/N is in the ER. I gotta go.”

The boys barely got out a few reassuring words to Tito before he was out the door and driving to the hospital, worry lacing his body as he raced to where you were.

-

“She should be fine, she was extremely dehydrated when she was brought in so we started her on an IV. And I’m assuming the cough and cold have been going on for awhile?”

“About a week.”

“Sounds about right. She’s developed acute bronchitis but it’s very mild so we’ve already started her on a course of NSAID’s to help with the the inflammation. She’ll need plenty of rest the next few days.”

“Okay, thank you so much.”

Although you couldn’t tell who the other person talking was, you quickly determined it was a doctor talking to Tito.

Fuck…

That meant you were in the hospital, right after Tito tried to warn you about taking care of yourself. You heard the door shut and slowly peaked your eyes open, watching at Tito settled into the chair at your side and hung his head. His hands ran through his hair before he took a deep breath, eyes locked on the floor.

“Baby…,” you whispered, Tito’s head popping up at the sound. “Hi. I’m sorry.”

Before you could move a muscle Anthony hopped out of the chair, fingers running across your forehead as he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, “You scared the shit out of me.”

You sighed at Tito’s words, leaning closer to him, “I’m sorry. I thought I’d be okay at work. I should’ve listened to you.”

“Don’t apologize, I’m just glad you’re okay,” Tito leaned down to meet your eyes. “You are okay, right?”

“Yeah I got a migraine and went to stand up and…,” you sighed, squeezing your eyes shut to try and keep out the panic that clawed at your chest. “And then I woke up here. So I have no idea what happened.”

Anthony sensed your panic as he pulled you into a tight embrace, his hands skating over your back slowly in a comforting manner. Just his touch on your skin had your breathing slowing, body relaxed in his hold.

“The doctor will be back in an hour to make sure you’re okay then I’m taking you home and you’re not leaving bed for the next two days.”

“What if I have to pee?”

“I’ll carry you to the bathroom.”

“And when you have your game tomorrow night?”

Tito fixed you with a look that had you grinning instantly, knowing you were pushing his buttons, “You’re killing me here.”

“I know, but you love me right?”

“Yes baby,” Tito leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love you so much.”

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Health Update

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who reached out or commented on the latest installment of Where's Mommy? to wish me good health. I am so grateful for all of you 💚

However, the health issue I'm currently dealing with isn't due to a virus or bacteria, and there's a possibility it won't get better.

A little history.

Back in 2022, there was a two week period where I felt like my blood sugar was dropping, and I was very symptomatic. There was a moment where I slumped down a wall at work because of it, and they had to dump sugar packets from the break room into my mouth to rouse me. It was a very scary time.

After those two weeks, I went to my Primary Care Physician who ordered blood tests and had me purchase a glucometer to test my blood sugar several times a day. However, during the two weeks she had me do this, I never got a reading below 70, and the same symptoms did not develop as they did prior. My blood work came back clean, and without a reading lower than 70, my PCP dismissed it and told me I was having anxiety attacks, lol. She told me to come back if the symptoms came back, and they never did.

Backing up a couple more years.

Without revealing too much of my medical history, I have a chronic illness called POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). It's a dysautonomia or a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system, the system that controls all of the automatic functions of the body. It was caused by my battle with Lyme Disease in 2010 and is currently incurable. I was diagnosed with POTS in 2018, after being told for 6 years that I had anxiety, lol.

POTS is not a very well-known illness, but it's getting more attention these days. It garners a host of different symptoms, including tachycardia, chronic fatigue, brain fog, orthostatic intolerance, migraines, gut issues, syncope, dehydration, blood pooling, etc. Everyone's POTS presents differently, and most people with a POTS diagnosis live on disability. I made the choice not to.

Fast forward to 2024.

Fast forward again to this past Wednesday.

Well, I finally was able to get a POTS specialist in my state this year. A huge win! When I had my initial consultation, I had mentioned the low blood sugar episodes in 2022 and asked if it could be related to POTS. The doctor told me that they don't see POTS patients having low blood sugar issues, but we're concerned enough to refer me to an endocrinologist. Another big win!

I had my consultation with the endocrinologist, and he ordered more blood tests, some of the same tests as before, and some different (y'all, they took like 20 vials from me). He also gave me a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) to wear for 14 days so they can track my highs and lows to see if they can catch anything.

Well, the next night, my blood sugar dropped below 70, 20 times, and 55, 9 times. Which means I was woken up 9 times throughout the night. I got only about 2 hours of sleep, and still had to go to work the next morning. But, once again, it went back up by itself without any intervention from me.

Y'all, it caught A LOT in just the first day, actually night. My blood sugar dropped below 70, 11 times, and below 55, 4 times while I was sleeping. Now, because anything below 55 is considered critical and could be fatal, there is an alarm that cannot be overridden and will sound. It sounds like a smoke alarm. So, I was awoken 4 times.

The odd thing is that my blood sugar dropped, then went back up on its own. I didn't eat or drink anything. Blood sugar doesn't really do that, so I thought it was odd. This also begs the question: If I'm asymptomatic at 53, then what level was I at in 2022 when I had symptoms? Honestly, I don't want to know.

Here is a nifty graph!

All of the red is considered low blood sugar, below 70, and anything close to that 50 line is considered critical low blood sugar. And again, I did not eat anything during the night.

There are four major anomalies with my low blood sugar occurences:

Most cases of hypoglycemia are seen in diabetics, I am not diabetic

Most cases of hypoglycemia seen in non-diabetics are sporadic, mine are consistent

Hypoglycemia is normally corrected by consuming sugar, mine auto-corrects

When blood sugar drops, it creates symptoms, I do not get symptoms

There are only a handful of things that can cause hypoglycemia in a non-diabetic and even less consistently at night time. The doctor has already ruled out insulinoma (insulin producing tumors in the pancreas), so that leaves even less, and also the good old "we don't know what's wrong with you".

I'm not going to lie. This whole thing terrifies me. There's no telling how long my blood sugar has been doing this, and it only takes one dip below 50 for me to slip into a coma and die in my sleep. Luckily, my blood sugar does this crazy autocorrect thing, and I haven't died yet! Humor makes this easier.

Right now, I'm emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. Adding this on top of my already difficult life with POTS has been hard to cope with, and I'm crying a lot.

Hopefully, I'll get results soon, and my endocrinologist can figure out why this is happening and how to manage/fix it if it can be managed/fixed. Maybe I've got a completely new illness, and you'll find me in a medical journal! Wouldn't that be something.

Anyway, thanks for the continued support. I have a lot of IRL support from friends and family, but while I go through this process, I may seem distant, my posting might be sporadic, I may not keep my fic posting schedule, etc. And when I have an update, I promise to let y'all know!

Much love 💚💚💚

Steph

[yoitsjay]

Hi hi! I was wondering if you could do a headcanon list for Tech x y/n who has chronic pain please 👉🏼👈🏼

Yes absolutely! I did some research and I decided Chronic migraines would be interesting to write about and I'm pretty sure I just figured out I might have it.

Anyway enjoy!

Worse and Worser

Pairings: Tech x gn! Reader

Summary: you have chronic headaches. Tech finds a way to make it better

Warnings: a bit of angst

•You’ve had Chronic pain since you were a child at the beginning of the clone wars

•Explosions and the light it let off had nearly blinded you and almost made you deaf you so you wore hearing aids, and had to have eye surgery just to see clearly

•The chronic headaches didn’t really start until you were a teenager

•They would last sixteen days, constant headaches and neck pain, dizziness and nausea.

•your parents were part of the republic GAR so they got free healthcare and that included you.

•The doctors told you that you had chronic migraines

•you started taking medication and were able to push through the pain and enrolled in the GAR as a medic

•you specialized in mental medicine mostly, therapy for the clones who suffered PTSD. You also knew combat aid.

•despite your chronic pain the republic sent you out onto the feild anyway

•but you were placed with an elite task force.

•The Bad Batch

•they didn’t like you at first

•but you were smart, and witty and always snapped back with clever replies or jabs

•crosshair approved first when you broke his nose after he said something stupid.

•After that the other men warmed up to you quickly

•then there was Tech.

•You were both oblivious to the feelings you harbored for each other

•even though the rest of the batch could clearly see it

•One day however, your migraines were so bad that you could barely move, and that pain had moved down towards your back

•Tech was very concerned

•he wouldn’t leave your side until you finally told him about your chronic migraines

•you told him about how your home was bombed

•and how you were 80 percent deaf if it wasn't for your aids allowing you to hear

•Tech did some research, and did his best to help you feel better

•hed sit in the darkness with you, and he'd just hold you in silence

•He thought you were very strong though

•being able to deal with that much pain on the loud battlefields

•When you got to Pabu a lot of things changed

•you were able to get some help with your headaches

•and you made the decision to stay behind while they went out into the world

•when Tech ‘died’ you were devastated, and couldn’t get out of bed for weeks because of your crying, dehydration and migraines

•Then they found Tech in Tantiss

•he came home to you

•he saw you in so much pain

•he laid beside you again, in total darkness and told you everything would be alright

•and by his side?

•you knew it would be.

Tag list:

Tech:

Tbb:

@moomoog017 @only-my-unexistent-fiances

All:

[hairstevington]

songs that voices never share

Deaf!Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Summary: Everything's felt a little off since the Fourth of July, and no one's talking about it. Of course, one part of Steve's summer is a bit hard to ignore - he's losing his hearing. As luck would have it, a friend of Dustin's ends up playing a key role in Steve's adjustment to his new normal.

WC: 4K

Warnings: Deaf!Steve, use of ASL, angst/references to events of season 1-3, this fic will disregard the events of season 4 because I said so, canon universe, hurt/comfort, angst, platonic Stobin forever, Steve and Will are buds, some sad stuff but overall it's a love story like come on it's me we're talking about

A/N: Hello! Everyone loved my drabble about Deaf Steve so I'm expanding it into a full fic. The plan is 7 chapters, and I'll probably post them all both here and on Ao3. Please note that ASL is written in all capitals when notated in English, and the grammar is a bit different.

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Chapter 1 - I'll take a quiet life

Steve was kind of prone to getting beat up. God knows Dustin never let him forget it.

After the fight with Jonathan, he felt more or less the same. Then, Billy beat the shit out of him, and Steve started getting migraines and hearing a ringing in his ears every so often.

But after being tortured by the Russians for a couple hours? That’s when the real damage was done. 

Everything felt a little off since the Fourth of July, but no one talked about it. Even though so much had changed, Steve and the rest of the group all tried to get back to any normalcy they could find. Steve and Robin got a job together at Family Video and ultimately ignored everything they'd experienced together. It just felt like it was too big to talk about, so they didn't. They pretended like it didn't happen honestly - which might have been more successful had it not been for one fairly major thing.

The ringing became almost constant. Steve’s hearing was piss poor some days and kind of okay other days, but eventually the bad days were more frequent than the good. Steve knew he got beat up a lot, and he figured there were probably some consequences, but he never had time to think about it. Then, when he had trouble hearing one day, he figured he was just swollen and needed time to heal. And then he blamed it on allergies. And then he felt stupid for not taking it seriously, so he ignored it. And then, when he finally went to the doctor, he realized the full extent of it all. 

They called it a perfect storm of injuries. At least, that’s what he thought they said. Apparently he’d had too much trauma to the area and not enough medical attention after multiple concussions and ruptured eardrums. He also apparently broke some of the bones in his ears??? They told him a lot of things that he couldn’t quite understand.

He wasn’t stupid. He just couldn’t hear so well anymore. 

Steve had never been the smartest person in the first place. He wasn’t great at school, especially with English or history, and he never cared that much about it either. He breezed his way through high school and focused on sports and popularity.

So, when Steve couldn’t keep up in conversations with his friends, they didn’t really think anything was out of the ordinary. Classic Steve, always a few sentences behind. 

He got away with it for much longer than he had any right to. Robin was the first to notice. 

They worked together at Family Video most days that summer, and it was a good job because anyone could do it, really. They were never really that busy, so a lot of the time was just Steve and Robin getting paid to hang out.

A lot of times, Robin rambled at him about movies or music or how hot Molly Ringwald was, and he could just nod and smile and occasionally say something like, “yeah, totally,” and she would be none the wiser. If they were looking at each other, he could kind of tell what she was saying based on her lips, but only because he knew her well enough to do so. He couldn’t really understand anyone else, except maybe Dustin sometimes. Then again, Dustin used a lot of tech speak that went over Steve’s head even before his hearing deteriorated. 

Steve was putting tapes back in the proper places, oblivious to Robin calling for him. He nearly jumped out of his skin when she tapped him on the shoulder. 

“Shit! Hi!” he exclaimed, realizing he must have missed something again. “Sorry, I’m kind of out of it.”

Ah, his go-to excuse. It worked every time.

“Bullshit, Harrington,” she replied. Before Steve could defend himself, she continued. “You can’t hear very well anymore, can you?”

Huh. Okay, it worked every time, until now. Steve nodded, realizing he had no reason to hide it from Robin anymore.

“How’d you know?” he wondered. Usually, Robin paced back and forth and avoided eye contact during her rambles, but this time she stayed put and faced him head on.

“Steve,” she began. “You’ve always been a little oblivious, but recently it’s like you’re never listening to me at all. Plus, I’ve been throwing random things into conversation to see if you notice. Hey, Steve, just figured out that hamsters aren’t real. Dingus, I just got a tattoo of your face on my face. You know, things like that. You’ve never said anything about it, so at first I thought you were just stressed or depressed or - wait, shit. You can’t hear. Maybe I should write this down.” She went to search for a pen and paper, but he grabbed her arm to stop her.

“I think I got the gist,” he responded. Thankfully this was one of his better days, otherwise he never would have been able to follow. “Wait, hamsters are real though, right?” Robin’s face fell as she genuinely pondered whether Steve was being serious. “I’m kidding. Yes I know what you’re saying.”

“Okay, cool,” she replied, relieved. “Anyway, once I realized nothing was wrong with your psyche, I started doing other tests. But sometimes I’d stomp my feet and you’d react, so I worried I was making it all up. One time I snapped right by your ear, but then I accidentally flicked you on the temple.”

Steve remembered that. She said it was a bug.

He could hear some frequencies, and it also depended on the day and the season. It was best in quiet spaces where he only had to talk to one person. That’s how he got by so well at work, because it was a relatively quiet place. 

Well, except for Robin and her constant rambling. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. Steve shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I didn’t wanna admit it, I guess, but I think it’s just gonna get worse.” The prospect of losing his hearing entirely and permanently was on the table, especially if he was to get punched again or something. Considering his group of friends and their history of getting into trouble, that didn’t seem unlikely. Robin put a caring hand on his shoulder and gave a comforting smile.

“Well, I talk too much for you to not understand me, so this means we’re both gonna have to learn sign language.”

“What?” Steve winced at the idea. “No way. I took three years of Spanish and I only know how to ask where the bathroom is.”

(He actually forgot how to say that, too.)

“Yeah, but maybe sign language will be different. I mean, it’s visual, right?” Robin put her elbows on the counter and continued. “Come on, you know I love languages, and I’m soooo booooored.” As she spoke, her body slowly sank onto the counter until she was face down. 

Steve chuckled. He wasn’t surprised that she was the first to figure it all out, and her reaction was incredibly on brand. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “Let’s give it a shot.”

Steve picked up the alphabet pretty quickly. He already knew most of it from Sunday School as a kid. Then, for about a week or so, Robin drilled him by practicing different signs during their shifts together. There were only a few weeks of summer vacation left before Robin went back to school for her senior year.

Steve was grateful he’d already graduated by the time his hearing got worse. He would never have had the courage to ask for accommodations. Although, Robin probably would have bugged him into asking for it anyway. 

Whatever, He didn’t need to think about that. 

MOVIE, Robin signed to Steve during a standard shift at Family Video.

“Uhhhhh…cheese?” Steve guessed. Robin shook her head. 

“No, but close!” she countered. Steve groaned. 

“How is it close, Robin? How?” he complained. She laughed, then showed him the sign for CHEESE versus MOVIE. They were honestly not that different. “Oh. Okay, yeah.”

W-O-R-K, she fingerspelled next. Steve’s eyes lit up. 

“I know this one!!!” he exclaimed, hitting one of his fists on top of the other to sign WORK.

“Yes!” Robin cheered. She quickly corrected herself and signed YES. Steve smiled. CANDY TIME.

When Steve got a sign right, she’d throw an M&M his way so he could catch it in his mouth. It was something they’d started doing together at Scoops Ahoy with various toppings.

M&M’s were much less messy.

Sure, the study and reward method was a bit juvenile, but it worked. Steve practiced, and he learned some basic signs. THANK YOU. PLEASE. SORRY. I KNOW. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHAT? AGAIN. He also learned random ones. BIRD. BASKETBALL. VAMPIRE. SODA.

And then, of course, the two of them learned the other essentials - words that they usually just had shared glances for.

HOT, for when an attractive customer came in. COMPLAIN, for when an annoying customer came in. FINISH, when their shift was over. 

It worked. They started signing to each other instead of talking whenever possible. Robin let him have all the tasks he could do in the back room or by himself, and she handled a lot of the customers to cover for him. The pressure and stress Steve had been feeling started to melt away, and his headaches got better since he didn't have to focus so much all the time.

His parents knew about his condition, but they never talked much in the first place, so nothing really changed at home. He’d go to work and make do, and then he’d go home, and everything was alright.

About a week of study sessions later, Robin had an idea. 

YOUR FRIENDS, she began. Steve stared at her and waited for her to elaborate. She took a deep breath. TELL-THEM YOU CAN. 

Steve continued to stare at her quizzically. She was learning all the grammar and shit, and he was still on vocabulary. 

MY FRIENDS…YES? He guessed, trying to mimic the one sign he couldn’t remember the meaning to. She shook her head. 

C-A-N, she clarified. Steve thought about it. YOUR FRIENDS LOVE YOU, she continued, slower this time. SHOULD KNOW.

Steve sighed. He’d been avoiding Dustin a lot more these last few weeks, because he knew the smartass would figure him out in seconds. 

Steve sighed, knowing Robin was right. 

O-K, he agreed. 

Dustin took it well. He had a lot of questions, but most of them Steve didn’t know the answers to. He quickly decided he would also learn some signs to support Steve. The support made Steve feel so relieved, he told all of his other friends. Well, he told the kids. Max. El. Will. Mike. Lucas. El and Will were planning on moving to California pretty soon with Jonathan and Joyce, so El decided it would be good for her to practice writing letters to Steve, since she’d be doing long distance with Mike and all. Lucas and Mike also made an attempt at learning signs, but they were even shittier at it than Steve was - which honestly made Steve feel even better. They treated it like a secret code they all were learning - kind of like the weird phrases they insisted on saying whenever they used the walkie talkies.

It was all very cute. 

Since Steve wasn’t in school, he ended up practicing sign language during most of his free time. It felt good to be doing something for himself. It made him feel smart, and he didn’t feel smart that often. Robin also picked it up pretty fast, which was to be expected. 

But then, all of a sudden, school was starting again, and everyone was busy. Steve continued to work and study ASL, but he didn’t have as many shifts with Robin. He would drive the kids to school and to their clubs and stuff, but it was impossible to communicate with a bunch of kids in the car. He went on dates, but the talking part of it all didn’t really work out. He wasn’t connecting with anybody, and he couldn’t understand them half the time. Plus, most of his date spots required loud noises - movies, sports games, etc. He’d go out with women, and he’d have a decent albeit exhausting time trying to keep up, and then sometimes they’d have sex, but if he was being honest - he wasn’t even really enjoying sex as much anymore.

Crazy, right? He couldn’t believe it either.

He was isolated, but getting by. He kept spending down-time at work watching videos about sign language that he’d borrowed from the library, and everywhere he went he tried to think of the sign for what he saw. TREE. CAR. LIGHT. RESTAURANT. BICYCLE. HOUSE. BOOK. STORE.

Eventually, it all started coming together. 

-

It was October - Halloween season. Considering what had happened last Halloween, Steve wasn’t too thrilled about it. Neither were some of the kids, primarily Will and El. Times had been tough for El especially after losing Hopper, and Steve knew that. It seemed like she had a decent support system though. Jonathan’s mom had taken her in, and she was dating Mike as well. She’d be okay, Steve hoped.

Then came the big moving day for the Byers and El. Steve had to admit he was a bit jealous. He’d wanted to get out of Hawkins forever, but now he had Dustin and Robin tying him there. 

Jonathan got to escape this town and he was dating Nancy? Such bullshit. 

Not that Steve was pining over Nancy anymore. He’d always love her, in a way, but he’d moved on. They didn’t work together, and that was that. Over and out, as the kids would say on their stupid walkie talkies. 

Anyway, El may have been alright, but Steve had his doubts about Will. He didn’t really know how to broach the subject, but he noticed that when he picked the kids up, Will was usually pretty quiet. 

An outsider, kind of like Steve.

So, when moving day arrived, Steve offered to help. He knew that Nancy and Jonathan would be there and their farewells would be a whole thing he had no interest in being around for, but he was pretty strong and he could carry boxes and help the kids, at least.

But when he showed up, he saw Will in the backyard by himself. Steve gave a small wave, then slowly approached the kid and sat down beside him. 

WHAT’S-UP, Steve signed. It was one of the signs he taught all the kids. Will shrugged. Steve watched Will intently as he waited for his response.

“I don’t want to move,” Will said. “I like my house. And my friends.” Will caught himself, realizing he knew an applicable sign, then added FRIENDS. Steve smiled.

UNDERSTAND, he replied. That was another sign he taught the kids. “This sucks.”

“How do you sign that?” Will asked. “That it sucks.” 

Steve knew that one, obviously. He knew a lot of signs now, but that was one he used a lot. He brought the tip of his pointer finger to his chin and frowned. Will repeated the action, then raised his eyebrows. Steve nodded in approval. Will’s hands dropped back into his lap, and the forlorn look on his face came back.

“I guess I just -” Will began, averting his eyes from Steve and staring in the distance. “They’re gonna forget about me here. They’re already -” He sighed. “It feels like I’m being left behind, even though I’m the one leaving.” Steve nodded gently, understanding the feeling all too well.

Will was the member of the party Steve had interacted with the least, probably because the other kids were a bit - uhhh - louder. Dustin and Steve were like brothers, Lucas and Steve could talk about basketball, El and Max were by no means close with Steve but he still felt like a surrogate older brother to them, and Mike was - 

Okay, Mike and Steve didn’t really get along. That was to be expected, considering everything. They weren’t mean to each other or anything, they were just awkward and mildly annoyed with each other most of the time. 

Will was different. Steve had been filled in on what happened to Will through Dustin, and it was - well, yeah. Will had it rough. And no one ever really talked about it. It was like, Will went through this whole traumatic thing, but he was back to “normal” now, so everything was fine. But it wasn’t fine, and he was getting sick and tired of pretending it was.

Whoops. Okay. Maybe Steve was connecting with Will more than he anticipated he would. 

That was probably where a lot of the disconnect came from with everyone in Steve’s life except for Robin. The two of them had been tortured together for hours underground. Steve got the brunt of it. And they were drugged and threatened and nearly killed dozens of times. But they escaped and got out and then they were fighting a giant monster and fireworks were going off and then people died and there was no space for Steve to talk about what had happened to him. 

He probably needed a therapist, but if he saw a shrink his dad would never let him hear the end of it. Besides, how could he explain any of his trauma to them? He couldn’t talk about it with anyone except his close group of friends, and he didn’t want to burden them with it, so he just…didn’t talk about it. 

Steve wanted to say so many things to Will, but he also felt like he had no right to give any advice on friends or happiness. Steve had left the majority of his friends behind, willingly, and he didn’t regret it, but he also was sad about it. He missed it in some weird, fucked up way he couldn’t explain. Especially Tommy. God, all they did was argue and get in each other’s faces, but they knew each other better than anyone else. The best and the worst of it - mostly the worst, though.

“Well, I won’t forget you,” Steve said, hoping the reassurance would provide some kind of comfort. 

“You don’t know me,” Will replied. “And don’t you hate my brother?”

Oof. Valid argument, but still. Steve’s thoughts on Jonathan were…complicated, to say the least.

“I don’t hate him,” Steve responded. “And your brother isn’t you.” 

When Steve spoke, he tried to translate it in his head. It had become a habit. HATE DON’T. YOU, YOUR BROTHER, NOT-SAME.

He was getting pretty good at the sign language thing.

“I’m probably just going to sit out here and be sad,” Will said with a shrug. 

“Okay,” Steve replied. “Is it okay if I sit here and be sad too?”

Will turned to Steve, confused at first, but then his face relaxed into something different. He nodded. 

Everyone inside seemed to be doing just fine without them, anyway.

-

The Byers (and El) moved to California. Lucas, Dustin, and Mike joined Hellfire club, which they were really excited about. The first few times Dustin had told Steve about it, the dipshit was so excited Steve only got like half of what he was being told. For example, he thought the boys were getting ready to drink champagne for the first time or something, which was weird, but whatever. Kids are weird. And then later he realized they were preparing for a campaign.  

They had shirts. Steve recognized the shirts. Then, it all made sense.

He’d heard of Hellfire before. They were kind of hard to miss. They were the exact opposite of cool, even though Dustin seemed to think that wasn’t the case. An underground sort of cool, he’d explained. 

Yeah. Sure, buddy.

Steve knew from his years at Hawkins High that those guys were not treated with any sort of respect. The only popularity they had was the negative kind. People knew who they were, and they stayed away. They were weird.

At the same time, Steve wasn’t surprised the boys had joined. It was a Dungeons and Dragons club, after all - Of course, Steve didn’t actually make that connection until Dustin had made him aware. He wasn’t sure what he thought Hellfire did back when he was in school, but it certainly wasn’t a nerdy roleplaying game. They gave off a different vibe. Like, a chaotic anarchist kind of vibe. Most of Steve’s perception came from the guy who led it - Eddie Munson, the school freak. That’s what they called him. Steve and Eddie had never really interacted, because why would they have? They were both seniors when Steve graduated, but Eddie was a year older. And he still hadn’t graduated. 

Tough deal.

Anyway, Dustin was obsessed with Eddie. He worshiped the guy, basically. And Steve couldn’t help but be a little jealous - not that he’d ever admit that, of course. But Dustin was around Eddie more often, and they could talk about things they enjoyed freely and without having to stop every ten seconds to repeat themselves.

So, yeah. Steve was bitter about it. 

He usually picked the kids up from Hellfire after school, because the “champagnes” (no, they never let Steve live that one down) sometimes went pretty late. Plus, Steve was the wheels in most circumstances - he drove Robin to school every morning, too.

He was probably at Hawkins High more often than he had been when he attended the damn school. 

Anyway, one night in particular, Steve waited outside the drama club room for Lucas, Mike, and Dustin to walk out and hop in the car like they always did, but they were running late. 

Again. Oh, joy. 

Steve parked the car and headed inside, only to find everything packed up (thankfully), but everyone was still absorbed in conversation. 

Steve couldn’t follow. They were all talking over each other and about things that he didn’t really understand well in the first place. Plus, there was music playing in the background, which muddied everything else in his brain. So, he waited and watched them interact. And then everyone was looking at him, and he didn’t know why. 

“What?” Steve asked, totally lost. He turned to the boys, who all tried to explain what Steve had missed in their own way. Steve caught them flashing a few signs his way. JOKE. IGNORE. HE DON’T-KNOW. 

Ehh, Steve kind of pieced it together. Eddie probably made some sort of comment about how awkward Steve was being without knowing why. It was probably for the best that Steve didn’t hear it. Instead, he turned to Eddie so he could share what was going on. 

But then, Eddie signed to him.

YOU DEAF?

Steve’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He nodded. YOU SIGN?!

MOM DEAF, Eddie explained. Before Steve had the chance to ask a follow-up question, Eddie answered one of them. MOM DEAD NOW.  Eddie turned away to face the boys, then pivoted back to Steve. BEFORE, COULD HEAR. RIGHT? HAPPEN WHEN?

Eddie’s signing skills seemed almost natural. Clearly he’d been doing it for ages. Steve nodded.

NEW, he explained. He was blanking on the sign for “recent” due to the fact that he was so stunned. MY SIGNING… Oh, God. Steve couldn’t remember how to say anything. He wanted to say that he was still learning, so he wasn’t that good. Instead, he did the universal hand gesture for “iffy,” which worked well enough. The boys and the other club members all watched this interaction in awe as Eddie processed this with a small nod.

O-K, Eddie replied. 

And that was it. Eddie went back to talking to the boys, and presumably dismissed them as they all scattered away to collect their bags. Eddie wasn’t even looking at Steve. 

That was kind of a bummer.

Up until then, Steve hadn’t met anyone else who signed (except for Robin), so this was kind of huge. At the same time, it was Eddie. Like, Steve had come a long way from his King Steve days, but the dude was a loose cannon. He was always drawing attention to himself and jumping on tables and shit. They had nothing in common, originally, but now they had two gigantic things in common - Dustin and sign language. 

Steve took the kids home as he usually did, but he didn’t even attempt to focus on what they were saying. Besides, he was still thinking about, well, everything.

A part of him was annoyed, because of course the other older brother figure for Dustin was cool enough to know sign language. Of course. The other part of him was over the moon. He had someone to talk to and practice with. Although, that was only if Eddie was interested, which he very well might not have been. Plus, it was also kind of against the rules of the school. The jock and the freak spending time together? It just didn’t happen. 

Then again, Steve wasn’t going to Hawkins High anymore. He could make his own rules. 

He couldn’t wait to tell Robin about all of this. She was going to lose her damn mind.

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[sevcasejay1chicago]

Ear infections- Jay Halstead

Authors note: you guessed it, home girl is sick again. I wrote this fic a while ago, but it applies to me right now so I figured with my lack of current content, I’d post it.

Again, to all those waiting for ficrecs, I am working on them. I’ve been having some major writers block while dealing with some new medical issues and mental health issues. Thank you all for your support and love. I hope you enjoy this fic! ❤️

Summary: You wake up with an ear infection and migraine. The Halstead brothers come to your aid.

Warnings: mentions of sickness, mentions of needles, mentions of medications, mentions of vomiting.

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You woke up just like you always did with Jay, but the ear that was laying on his chest felt like it was on fire. You muffled a groan and pulled away from Jay, attempting not to wake him. Unfortunately, Jay was a light sleeper so he groggily reached out for you.

“Wha time is it?” Jay mumbled, placing a hand on your thigh. He was sure the alarm didn’t go off yet.

You sighed, looking over at the red numbers on the digital clock. “It’s only 5. Go back to sleep.” You murmured, leaning forward and running a hand through Jay’s hair.

Jay cracked his eyes open more when your hand came in contact with his forehead. Your normally cool hand was hot. He studied you in the dark. He could see your right hand cupping your ear and your face pinched in pain. Jay grabbed the hand you were running through his hair and kissed the back, sitting up as he held it. Before you could react, Jay’s right hand made contact with your forehead. Jay sighed in sympathy. “Baby. Your burning up.” Jay whispered.

You nodded your head slowly, tears now leaking from your eyes. “It hurts.” You whispered, leaning your head into Jay’s shoulder.

Jay kissed the top of your head. “What hurts sweetheart?” He asked, rubbing your back as you shook against him.

“My ear. Can’t hear.” You choked out, trying not to sob as your resolve finally broke. “Need Will.”

Jay was alarmed. You had an intense fear of needles and hospitals like Jay, so you never asked for a doctor or went willingly. “Okay baby girl. Let’s call him, okay?” Jay said, kissing your head again.

You nodded and let Jay move away, but when he stood, you scrambled after him. “No.” You squeaked, reaching for his arm. Jay stopped and let you latch on. “I’m comin.” You whispered, looking at Jay with big, scared eyes.

Jay nodded, “of course sweet girl.” He said, leading you into the bathroom once he got his phone off the night stand. Jay placed you on the counter as he called Will, rummaging through the cabinet.

Will: Jay, it’s like 5 am. What the hell man?

Jay: I need you. It’s Y/n. Jay could hear Will shift in bed, whispering to Nat that he’d be right back.

Will: What’s wrong?

Jay: Thinking she’s got an ear infection. I’m about to check her temp. She asked for you.

Will: put her on.

Jay put the phone on speaker and handed it to you to hold.

“Will?” You whimpered, leaning your head into Jay’s shoulder once again.

“Hey you. What’s going on?” Will asked, voice deep with sleep.

“My ear hurts so bad.” You sobbed. “I can’t hear Will.” You explained, lightly tugging on the earlobe.

Jay sat you up and swiped the thermometer across your forehead. “Hey man. It’s 101.6.” Jay sighed, kissing your forehead.

Will sighed on the other end of the phone. “Jesus Y/n. You don’t do anything half way.” Will joked, moving about to get some clothes on. “I’m gonna run to Med and get some ear drops and antibiotics. Jay, you need to work on getting her to eat something and get that fever down. I’ll be there soon.” Will instructed, immediately hanging up.

You sighed and handed Jay his phone back before leaning into his chest. Jay held you for a minute, leaving a lingering kiss on the top of your head. “Baby? What can I get you to eat?” Jay asked, leaning back to look down at you.

You shook your head. “No food.” You whimpered, keeping your eyes closed. “Migraine.”

Jay sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as he thought. “Okay sweetheart. You gotta eat something.” Jay whispered, leaning over to flip the lights off, knowing that it normally aggravates your migraines. “How about an apple sauce?” Jay bargained. “If you eat that and drink some Gatorade, you might feel a bit better before Will gets here.” He coaxed, rubbing your arms as you shivered against him.

“Kay.” You mumbled, leaning further into Jay’s hold, wrapping your legs around his waist. “M cold.” You huddled up as close as you could get to him, hating the way you shook to your core.

Jay wrapped his arms around you, attempting to provide you with some body heat and comfort. “Okay baby girl. Want my army sweatshirt?” Jay asked, snuggling his nose into your neck as he felt you nod against him. “Okay. Hold tight.” Jay said, lifting you up after you wrapped your arms around his neck. Jay walked you into the bedroom, sitting you on the bed while he went to the closet to find the requested hoodie.

“Ummm. It’s in your drawer.” You whispered, pointing toward his dresser.

Jay chuckled, going to where you led him. “Now, why is that?” Jay lightheartedly joked, pulling it out of the drawer.

“Smells like you. Traps it.” You murmured, lifting your hands so that Jay could put the sweatshirt on you.

Jay smiled as he gently slid the item of clothing on you. He always wondered how you got his smell back into that sweatshirt, and now he knows your secret. What you don’t know is that he will now be storing your favorite shirts of his in his drawers to keep the scent for you.

“Thanks.” You mumbled once the sweatshirt was placed on your form. You hummed in delight as Jay leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“Time for apple sauce and meds baby.” Jay murmured, bending down to pick you up again. He waited until your face was in his neck before he started walking. It was still dark out so he was gonna need some light to see what he was searching for and you had a better chance of not being bothered if your face was hidden in his neck.

Jay walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light. You kept your face tucked against his neck as he went about getting the things you needed. He grabbed an apple sauce from the pantry and one of your bottles of Gatorade before turning on the pantry light and cracking the door. Once he had the items sat on the counter, he went to flip the main light off before placing you on the counter.

You pouted at Jay, poking your bottom lip out and giving him the saddest face you could muster. “Jaaaayyyy.” You whined, missing his contact and not wanting to put anything in your body.

Jay chuckled, having stepped a few feet away to put some coffee on for himself and possibly Will. “Y/nnnnn.” Jay mimicked back, glancing at you from the coffee pot. “Nope. Not the face. You have to eat.” Jay said, turning away from you and standing strong.

You knew the face almost always got you what you wanted, but it was a long shot when it came to your health. You sighed, looking down at the apple sauce packet in your hand. “Fiiine.” You groaned. “Open it?” You requested, holding it out toward Jay like a child.

Jay was amused, but also worried. You tended to act more childish the higher your fevers got. “Yes ma’am.” Jay chuckled, clicking the last button to start the drip before he made his way back to you. He effortlessly opened the packet and held the pouch to your lips. “All of it.” He stated, leaving no room for argument.

You rolled your eyes but compiled. You knew Jay meant well and was also following orders from Will, but you were so scared of throwing up from your migraine. You pulled back about half way through, covering your mouth with one hand and holding your stomach with the other.

Jay sighed, placing the pouch to the side and reached up to pull your hair away from your face. “Shhhhh. Just breathe through it.” Jay soothed, reaching for his phone again. “Nice and slow. I’m gonna have Will get some Zofran, okay?” Jay asked, not expecting an answer as he called Will and told him the other need.

After a few minutes of careful breathing, the nausea passed and you picked up the apple sauce packet, tears in your eyes. You closed them as Jay reached a hand up to cup your face, rubbing his thumb across your cheek and catching the tears on the left side. Will would be there in about 5 minutes, so all you had to do was wait.

“Couch?” You asked, placing the empty packet on the counter. You snuggled into Jay, kissing the side of his neck.

“Okay sweetheart.” Jay complied, picking you back up. Once he had a secure hold on you, Jay grabbed your Gatorade before walking into the living room and sitting you down on the couch. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered your legs before he sat next to you. “You gotta drink some of this and take these pills for me, okay?” Jay said, pulling the pill pack out of this pocket and cracking the Gatorade open before handing it to you.

You nodded slightly before taking the pills from him and drinking it down with a quarter of the Gatorade. “No more. Please.” You whispered, feeling nauseous again.

Jay nodded, taking the Gatorade from you. “No more. Good job baby.” Jay praised, lightly kissing your forehead.

Will knocked on the door, causing Jay to pull away from you. Jay let Will in, pointing to the living room before going into the kitchen.

“Hey sis.” Will greeted you quietly, coming and sitting next to you. “Jay said he just gave you the pills. He’s gonna get the thermometer. How yah doin?” Will asked, placing a hand on your forehead.

You closed your eyes, leaning into your brother in-law’s touch. “Hurts. Nauseous too.” You breathed out, shifting to lean back a bit more as you peered at Will through half lidded eyes.

Will nodded, taking out his scope. “That’s what Jay said. Let me look in your ears, okay? Then I’ll get you all fixed up.”

You nodded your consent and allowed Will to stand up and pull away from you. Will checked your left ear first to compare it to your right. Jay came in as Will began looking at your right ear. You whimpered on contacted, causing Will to apologize profusely and promise he was almost done. Jay came and sat next to you, setting down a bowl and swiping the thermometer across your forehead.

“102 Will.” Jay mumbled, putting the thermometer down and taking your hand in his.

Will sighed, pulling the device away from your ear. “You’ve got a pretty nasty infection Y/n. Looks like middle and outer ear.” Will said, putting the used cover to the side before placing his instrument back in his bag. “I’m gonna give you a shot of Zofran, then I’m gonna leave you and Jay with your ear drops and antibiotics. Okay?” Will said, looking between you and Jay.

You nodded, paling at the idea of a needle. Your stomach was already churning. You squeezed Jay’s hand, closing your eyes as you breathed.

Jay saw your struggle, so he reached for the bowl and placing it in your lap. Will gathered your hair, holding it out of the splash zone with one hand and grabbing the prepped needle with the other. Will and Jay made brief eye contact before Will stuck the needle in your arm at Jay’s nod.

The prick sent you over the edge, gagging into the bowl Jay held in your lap. Will was quick to inject the medicine before tossing the needle in his bag to take care of later, but be out of sight for you and Jay. Will helped balance the bowl while Jay slid closer to you, trying to provide you with some comfort.

“Sh Sh Sh. It’s over. We’ve got you. It’s alright.” Jay kept saying, trying to convince you, but also himself. “It’s okay hunny. It’s alright.” Jay soothed, rubbing your arm where Will poked you in order to stop the throbbing.

You nodded, finally getting ahold of yourself and leaning back into Jay. Will took the bowl and went toward your bathroom to take care of it. “Sorry.” You whispered, still trying to catch your breath.

“No sweetheart. It’s alright.” Jay said, kissing your temple. “You know I completely understand.”

“Well, she needs to take more fever reducers. Those just came back up.” Will said, coming back into the living room. “Let’s give the Zofran a few minutes to work. Then you need to eat something else and take more meds. Okay?” Will said, coming up to you and Jay, grabbing his bag. “I’m gonna go back home. You guys take it easy today and call if you need anything.” Will said, coming and placing a kiss on the crown of your head and ruffling Jay’s bed head before leaving.

Jay pulled you into his arms, eyeing the medicine bottles Will left for you on the table. Jay felt zoned out. A lot had happened in less than an hour and he was still exhausted, so you had to be too. “Baby?” Jay whispered, noticing your breathing beginning to even out.

“Hmmm?” You hummed in answer, feeling completely zapped.

“I’m gonna call in for us. Think you can try some more apple sauce and take those meds before we go back to bed?” Jay asked, pushing your hair away from his face.

“Kay.” You mumbled, not having enough energy to fight. The Zofran worked quickly, so you didn’t see why not.

Jay made a quick call to Voight to let him know of the situation as he grabbed another apple sauce for you and some more fever reducers. Though he had to force you awake, you took what he gave you willingly before letting him carry you back to bed.

[laineystein]

So a funny story…

My two year old nephew accidentally punched me in the eye so I went into Pesach with a deep corneal abrasion and today (after the migraine pain I’ve had since flared and became so unbearable I nearly felt like I was going to pass out) I finally did the thing that all doctors hate doing - I went to the fucking doctor. But it’s yontif so I had to go to the ED and let me tell you, it was a comedy of errors. Is this what y’all deal with all the time? Oy gevalt. First the nurse asks how far along I am. I tell her. Then my husband makes a comment about how I should mention that I had a head injury a few months ago that I never got treated. I wanted to kill him. So the nurse asked what caused the head injury and I told her I had an IED blow up near my head and she asked where this happened and I said Khan Younis and she was like 👀 and I was like 👀 and it was silent for a bit while she did math and then silent for a bit longer when I refused to apologize for my aversion to medical self care and just asked when I could see the doctor so she could prescribe me erythromycin so I could be on my way. The nurse was like 👀 and I was like 👀 and she goes “you’re a doctor?”. I nodded and she rolled her eyes. Then the doctor comes in and she knows I don’t want to be there and she doesn’t want to be there either because the only thing worse than a doctor going to the doctor is a doctor needing to treat another doctor. So she doesn’t even scold me for not getting my head checked out after I got back and instead barely asks any questions and just authorizes my script so I can leave. It was two hours of my life that I will never get back and honestly if I wasn’t pregnant I’d risk the eye infection because what a nightmare that was.

[ruthlesslistener]

Hello! I'm not sure what proper etiquette is here so I hope I'm not overstepping, pls feel free to ignore if I am. You mentioned in a tag and/or post about having estrogen allergy? My wife is dealing with that, and it's... so difficult, most doctors don't know what it is and we thought we had a short term solution so she could finally get some sleep (she hardly sleeps at all anymore because of nightly itching). It's so hard to find ANY information on it and we're not sure how to proceed anymore. Just...wondering if you have any information at all? I'm sorry if this sounds desperate, it's because...it is lol.

Thanks kindly, from, your friendly neighborhood very worried lesbian wife.

Dw anon, you're not overstepping!! I've been in hormone hell since I was 13 so I know how much of a relief it is to find someone who understands for once. I don't believe that me or my mom (who's also affected) have the same allergic reactions that your wife is experiencing, but I'm hoping that I can help anyways.

Okay so first off, the doctors not knowing about estrogen allergies is bullshit. They may not be super common, but they've also been documented since at LEAST 1921. Just a cursory google search has yielded two scientific articles about it (that looked legit when I scanned through them before going to lecture, where I'm typing this rn), which I'll put right here:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5745953/

https://waojournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40413-017-0176-x

I'd suggest trying to read through medical journal articles on it because despite the density of the information and the difficulty of the language, medical articles tend to be more comprehensive about the symptoms and causes than ones written for the general public. They also mean that you have the language to confront doctors about it if you wish- which you'll have to do, because if she's experiencing an allergic reaction like itchieness, then I'd also be concerned about potential anaphalaxis if her reactions get more severe. The intolerance that me and my mother had manifested in different ways (migraines, muscle weakness, disorintation, being hypersensitive to food/unable to keep food down, extreme drowsieness leading to being bed-bound), but those weren't quite on the level of being so itchy that you can't sleep. A more typical allergic reaction is something to be concerned about and I highly suggest not only stressing this to your doctor, but also getting confrontational about it and meeting multiple different doctors if needed before you get care. Force them to run tests, force them to listen to you. That's my biggest regret when it comes to my hormone issues, because they just got progressively worse and worse until I had to go to the ER for it. Turns out that I was not only estrogen intolerant, I also had hypothyroidism! And nobody in 10 years of appointments thought to check for that!!

As for what helps me and my mom, I found that progesterone hormone treatment was effective for us both (until it stopped working for me, but I still don't know why that is. It works for my mother). You might want to be cautious about trying this because in the articles I read, some people were just as sensitive to progesterone, but it's worth a shot. I used to get the DEPO-provera (or however its spelled) shot to offset the issues caused by estrogen, which is an injection once every few months. I also found that once I went on testosterone that a good chunk of my hormonal health issues straight-up vanished, but obviously that's not exactly the best option for everyone. I'm on a masculinizing dose so maybe you can do a really super low-grade dose, but I'm telling you about it mostly just to get the point across that HRT works. It's not just for trans people- cis people get hormone fuckery and need hormone therapy as well.

But there's also proposed solutions in the articles I linked, so I hope those are helpful or give you an idea of treatment options. Best of luck!

[neldel]

It's disability pride month, let's talk about epilepsy!

As someone who started experiencing seizures in her 20s, and officially got diagnosed a year ago now, I find there's a lot of misconceptions out there about what causes seizures and what they can look like. For instance, did you know only 3-5% of the US population with epilepsy is photosensitive? Despite this, it seems to be a prevailing idea that everyone with epilepsy is photosensitive!

I have what's known as Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, one of the most common types of focal seizure. Focal seizures are when the person experiencing the seizure remains awake & aware, or has partial awareness. In my early 20s I started having these odd experiences; it would start with intense visions of deja vu from a dream or previous experience, then I would get a pounding migraine and nausea for several hours after. (I would later learn these deja vu visions are what's known as Auras, and serve as the brains warning mechanism for an imminent seizure.)

At first I thought these symptoms were due to the stress of college. I went to therapy, tried seeing general practice doctors, but nobody seemed to know what could be causing these symptoms. After some real gatekeeping by my primary doctors I finally got a referral to a neurologist, who was the first person in the medical field I saw who actually believed me. Though we weren't able to get a diagnosis from tests, the next month I had my first ever tonic clonic (unconscious seizing) full body seizure in my life. I was extremely fortunate that once I got on medication, that was enough to mostly eliminate my symptoms, though that is not the case for many.

For my own epilepsy, my triggers involve being in situations or scenarios that are familiar - whether to a dream I had or something irl. And yeah, that's about as difficult to avoid as it sounds. From an outside perspective it can look like I'm intensely dissociating or zoning out, usually with some trouble breathing that goes away after a couple seconds. If any of my experience sounds relatable and you haven't been checked for epilepsy, I strongly recommend looking into it! And if you are seeing this and you have epilepsy, it would be nice to hear about other people's experiences and how it manifests.

[bebsi-cola]

i see a lot of your posts about disability, and im really sorry if this is overstepping or anything, but i dont know who to ask about this.

im currently trying to figure out if i have some kind of illness or something because i recently figured out that not everyone is in pain 24/7 and cant walk for more than like, 10 minutes before starting to limp and hurt

i dont know if im just out of shape, or weak, or maybe im just making it up but i just dont know what to ask the doctors because every time it just… nothing happens. i go, get a check up, and they send me on my way. no referrals, no next appointment, no medication, just “go do some stretching” or “make a food diary” or a psych evaluation for some reason????

im confused and upset and idk what to do anymore because im just hurting all the time and the areas it pain is in changes a lot but im always hurting and its always there

it's not overstepping, but i'm unsure about my ability to help much. constant pain and difficulty walking after 10 minutes isn't really typical. that is a health issue that i personally think might be caused by some sort of condition or disability. it might be a condition that can be cured so I can't say that it one or the other for certain, but i think you've done the right thing by trying to go to a doctor. i'm sorry that it has not gotten any further investigation.

i can give some advice but with two caveats. it might not be applicable. and i want to stress that just because there might be some things you can do, it's not your fault if doctors dismiss you, belittle you, or refuse you healthcare. it's their fault.

it might seem dismissive but something you can do is to take the initial advice doctors give. what they typically do is work by the lowest common denominator in healthcare. aka they go for the easy, simple, common, and obvious problems first. now you might be dealing with a problem that evidently feels neither easy, simple, common, or obvious. after all it's not like everyone around you has the same problems right? but sometimes we have to play along with the system, and so i (personally) find that it can be helpful to follow the initial advice to the letter. if they want you to stretch, stretch daily. if they want a food diary, keep one. if the problem persists you've already ruled out common issues (which, it kinda sucks to say but sometimes very painful or life impacting health issues can have simple or common causes. that doesn't invalidate them. anyway). this also means that the next doctor (ideally) can't dismiss you with the same advice. "i went to the doctor for this issue, they said do that and i did it but nothing has changed/i got worse". is something i have found useful in the past, but like i said it depends. i was dismissed with repeated blood tests for years upon years because i couldn't keep my vitamin D levels high enough. when i finally resolved my vitamin and mineral levels - i still had health issues! surprise surprise. but it meant that doctors were finally, finally forced to try something else to investigate. a lot of specialist services where i live will straight up refuse patients if a blood test has not been carried out and returned fine. im fact referrals being rejected was a huge barrier i faced trying to get healthcare, and one i continue to face. i will finally be getting an investigation by a neurologist team this year after being treated for migraines for over two years, just because they didn't want to accept the referral i convinced the doctor to send them. it tough and you might have to try multiple times for the same thing.

my difficulty with healthcare was also influenced by my autism and the fact that i could not communicate effectively what i felt or experienced. i also have memory issues which means i can't remember when anything started or for how long it has been happening for. unfortunately i have no advice for communication issues because it was a skill i had to learn over hundreds of appointments and meltdowns over the years, and i'm lucky it was something that i could learn.

lastly there's no trick to getting doctors to take you seriously enough. doctors are all different people and there's no magic one size fits all, especially when the doctor will be basing their perception and biases of you - the individual, and not the other disabled people who found a neat trick that works. my symptoms first started when i was around 13, but nobody took me seriously at that age. or at 18 or 19 or 20. im currently 27 and i think doctors only started taking me even remotely seriously was around age 25. yeah i have a baby face and act autistic and i had a lisp but that was kinda outside my control. some people say it helps if you bring a friend or adult, but i dunno. some people say it helps if you know the terminology like "differential diagnosis" and some people say it helps if you act clueless but say that a family friend thinks you have an issue. i brought up fibromyalgia a full 5-6 years before i got diagnosed with it and it was laughed off. who knows.

either way anon i wish you the best and i hope you can find support and understanding from the people around you while you go through this.

[confessions-official]

My dad keeps talking mad shit about my mom and I’m always too shocked to cuss him out, so I’m very glad that I have an aunt who’s willing to do so immediately.

(I gotta tell someone about this, the absolute audacity of my dad is so fucking wild it’s concerning.)

About a month ago my dad and his siblings went to visit an older relative with their dad. While there all three siblings got into multiple arguments with each other. One such argument my dad described as “I was telling a story and then [his sister, the aforementioned aunt] started going off about my white male privilege or something.” I didn’t pay that any mind when my dad told me about it, similar situations have happened before and will happen again.

But I recently saw my aunt for the first time since she and my dad went on the trip. Also present were my mother and another aunt, the wife of my dad’s brother. Aunt #2 asked how the trip went because her husband won’t talk about it. I then added that my father only talked about the trip the day after he got home, mostly to complain about how his siblings being sensitive or something, and then he also refused to talk about the trip. Aunt #1 essentially says “it was a trip that I went on, I had to cuss out [my dad’s name].” Aunt #2 and I are like “holy shit what did he say.” The first aunt says that he was talking about something relating to medical care and said some really disrespectful things about my mom, so she had to be the one to go “wow you’re really talking about your wife like that? your wife who had brain cancer? you’re an asshole”

And my dad has said…things about my mom before. The worst was when he armchair diagnosed her with Munchausen syndrome by proxy because she *checks notes* was concerned when I started having episodes as a toddler in which I had migraines that resulted in me throwing up and then fainting. To my knowledge, my father has never witnessed one of those episodes (I still have them, just with no fainting) but multiple people other than my mom, including my grandmother, several parent chaperones on field trips, and the nurse at my elementary school, have seen this happen. But he’s largely refrained from saying things about my mom’s brain cancer (she had a cancerous brain tumor, she was having seizures but her concerns were brushed off by doctors for years until she finally got an MRI).

Even so I wouldn’t put it past him, and yeah I’m siding with my aunt on this one. I myself have been tempted to cuss him out on multiple occasions. I’m glad someone finally did.

 

[karmic-vibes]

Changing Lives

part 4 of nurse steve series!! ft girl dads steddie art credit: Vickie Wade

cw: brief mentions of suicidal ideation, general health issues (associated with AIDS)

wc: 1.7k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

———————————————————————

Without giving Eddie much of a choice, Steve got him set up with a therapist and psychiatrist to work through his suicidal ideations—to truly get to the bottom of what was causing it all. After about a month of therapy, his providers finally yanked out of him that the pain AIDS was giving him was what made him want to die. He tried hiding the morbidity and anguish his condition gave him from Steve, so he wouldn’t worry, but dear lord was it killing him slowly.

He hid walking pneumonia for several weeks, along with surprise asthma attacks, his joints feeling like they were crumbling beneath him, constant fatigue mixed with chronic migraines, amongst so much more. He didn’t want to burden Steve—but the want to not burden only amplified his pain, bringing him closer and closer to the edge of impending despair.

But, by ‘93, with the help of one Steve Harrington, R.N., Eddie managed to anchor himself back to reality. Between going to rehab for ten weeks, undergoing weekly therapy sessions, and biweekly doctor appointments to stay on top of his illness, he was doing better than ever.

Medications were getting better and better through the years—on top of Eddie’s vast fortune from Corroded Coffin, he was able to really stay on top of his condition, leading a normal life he never thought would be possible again. He was grateful he hung on—he was grateful for Steve. 

His gratitude only grew when he made it to 2006—the year adoption for gay couples became legal in Indiana. As soon as they were approved, they were placed on a waiting list for a child. By the end of the year, they had their first child: a baby girl named June Charlotte Harrington. 

His gratitude only grew when he made it to 2006—the year adoption for gay couples became legal in Indiana. As soon as they were approved, they were placed on a waiting list for a child. By the end of the year, they had their first child: a baby girl named June Charlotte Harrington. 

“She’s beautiful,” Eddie cried as he cradled June against his chest. “Thank you…”

“For what?” Steve chuckled, caressing his newborn’s head. 

“Making me stay… all those years ago. I know I didn’t want to. God, I really wanted to go, but… I don’t know. I’m thankful for you.”

“Oh, Ed, you’re the one who made the changes. You’re the one that stuck with it. You did it.”

“Do you remember what you told me when I asked you why you went into nursing?” Steve smiled to himself and leaned into his partner. 

“Nurses are the ones who make real change.”

“They are, Stevie… I love you, and I love our Junie Bug.” He mumbled a kiss into her head. 

“I love you both… so, so much. Thank you for staying…”

The pair got to bring their bundle of joy home a few days later. They had never been happier and they couldn’t wait to grow their family bigger and bigger. It was almost like they forgot Eddie could go downhill at any moment. 

By 2009, they submitted an application to be placed on a wait list for their second kid and by 2010 they had their second daughter: Lucie Caroline Harrington. 

“June Bug,” Eddie started. He crouched to meet her gaze. “This is your baby sister… her name is Lucie.”

“But papa,” She pouted, “I’m the baby.”

“You’ll always be our baby, Junie,” Steve reassured. “You knew you were going to be a big sister, sweetheart. You were excited just last week.”

“But I want her to go back in her mommy’s tummy…”

“We can’t do that,” Eddie chuckled. “She’s your little sister. Just try and be nice to her, alright?”

“Fine.” She furrowed her brow. 

“Do you wanna hold her?” Steve asked. June shook her head as she grossed her arms in a fit. 

“Okay, I think it’s nap time.” Steve picked her up and hauled her onto his hip. 

“No!” she whined, kicking his side. 

“June, please stop.” She only kicked harder. “Juniper!” 

When Steve whipped out the fake full name, she knew she was in trouble. She cowered and rested her head on his shoulder, clutching to his shirt. He brought her up to her room to take a nap, hopefully to eventually bring back a happier toddler. 

“Holy shit… we have two kids,” Eddie whispered, feeding Lucie her bottle. 

“We have two kids…”

“How many more do you want?” Eddie teased. 

“As many as we can have with you still being healthy.”

“Stevie, I haven’t had anything bad happen in nearly ten years. My last hospitalization was in ‘02, for Christ’s sake.”

“I know, I know, but I worry, honey. I know you’re strong and doing well, but I just want you to be able to watch our girls grow up.”

“And I will or die trying. You and our girls are my world, Stevie. I’m doing everything I can, I swear.”

“I know you are, Eds.”

Time went on and the boys grew closer with their family as each day passed. Neither of them thought they could ever be as happy as they were. 

Steve worked alongside his favorite people (who all switched to day shift after starting families) day-in and day-out at Hawkins Memorial. Eddie started teaching at he local high school and offering private lessons after school, free of charge, while their girls continued to thrive. 

June eventually warmed up to Lucie, being the best big sister someone could have ever hoped for. She was her forever playmate and best friend (even if they still bickered from time to time). 

One afternoon, when Steve got home from work, he found Eddie in the kitchen cooking the girls lunch. Lucie was up on his hip and June was spinning around by his feet. Eddie smiled at the little dancer as he stirred the sauce for their pasta.

“Papa, come on, dance with me!” June whined. 

“Alright, alright.” 

Eddie lowered the temperature on the stove and let the lunch simmer. He walked over to the kitchen speaker, where his phone was sitting, already shuffling through music. He scrolled through his library to a familiar Beatles album. 

Picture yourself in a boat on a river…

Eddie took June’s hand as twirled her around as Lucie rested her head on his shoulder. When it got to the chorus, Eddie let out a playful gasp and looked to his sleepy toddler. 

“Lucy in the sky with diamonds,” he sang. “Lucy in the sky with diamonds.” He started tossing her up and catching her in his arms. Lucie let out little giggles as she soared through the air. 

The three of them had yet to notice Steve. He slowly crept into the kitchen and leaned on the doorframe, watching his adorning partner play with their daughters. It was the little moments like this he was happy Eddie decided to fight. 

During the closing chorus, Eddie went back to tossing and spinning the girls to the beat of the music. On one of the final lines, Eddie caught Lucie and it was like the wind got knocked out of him. 

He choked on a breath, setting the two-year-old down on the countertop. He dug through the kitchen drawers, searching for his inhaler, but couldn’t find it anywhere. 

Steve ran in, panicked that his other half couldn’t breathe. He frantically cleared out the drawers, eventually retrieving Eddie’s medication. He handed it to Eddie and gently rubbed his back as he tried catching his breath. 

Unfortunately, his inhaler wasn’t doing its job. Eddie still couldn’t catch his breath. He didn’t understand—he played with his girls all the time and this never happened. He hadn’t had a flare up in months. 

June and Lucie had tears pooling in their eyes, never before witnessing Eddie in pain. Whenever he felt something coming on, he was always meticulous about hiding it so he wouldn’t scare his daughters. But this… this hit him like a train going a million miles a minute. 

“Hos… hospital,” Eddie wheezed, tugging on Steve’s scrubs. “Plea-plea- pl–”

He went into a coughing fit, unable to collect himself. He was getting paler, sweatier, and dizzier by the second. 

Steve scooped the girls up, one in each arm, and loaded them into the car. Eddie was slowly following, managing to get himself in the car as Steve finished buckling Lucie in. Steve insisted Eddie keep puffing his inhaler every few minutes to try and open up his lungs, but it was no use. 

Steve pulled into the patient parking lot,  collecting the girls in record time. He rushed Eddie up to the front desk, setting June down as he spoke to his coworker. They immediately took Eddie back for an assessment, angering everyone who had already been waiting for god knows how long. 

Eddie was given a bed and was soon put on a number of breathing treatments in hopes of soothing his lungs. When none of them worked, he was shipped off to get an x-ray taken, and sure enough, his left lung collapsed for the first time in ten years. 

He kicked himself for being so stupid early on in his diagnosis. Why didn’t he just tell Steve he had pneumonia? Why didn’t he grow a pair and ask for help? Now, here he was, with chronically failing lungs, scarred beyond belief, and traumatizing his two young daughters. 

Steve sat in Eddie’s hospital room with June and Lucie, desperately trying to explain what was going on. June was sat at the foot of Eddie’s bed as Lucie reclined on Steve’s legs. 

“Is papa gonna be okay?” June asked. 

“I hope so, Junie, I really do,” Steve sighed, bouncing his leg up and down. “How’re you doing, bug?”

“‘m okay.” 

She shrugged and picked the lint off Eddie’s hospital blanket. Eddie smiled fondly at the little one at the end of the bed and gently nudged her with his foot. He wasn’t allowed to talk until further notice, so he just smiled at the girls, trying to reassure them. 

“He’s not gonna die, right daddy?”

“I’ll let the sun explode before I let papa die. He’s gonna be okay.” He looked to Eddie with sad eyes, letting out a sigh. “I promise…”

———————————————————————

taglist: @steviesbicrisis @adaed5 @harringtonshairychest @manda-panda-monium