#finding patterns for people is kinda a part of my job! technically! and also its been so slow because its finally nice out and fewer people

[damnedtreasure]

please do say some more about your favorite sweater patterns i recently learned how to do cables and boy am i excited for the possibilities that the future holds now

Ooooh! So many possibilities! Cables are so satisfying, especially the patterns that look impossible to follow that really are much simpler than they look.

Okay, so! I got a bit carried away looking through patterns, as I always do, but! Here's a whole bunch of pretty patterns I've either made myself or have had my eye on for ages. I'll start with the sweaters, because that is what you actually asked, and then move to the honourable mentions that aren't actually sweaters.

So for your classic aran sweater, the Moby Sweater Man by PetiteKnits is delightful; it's a dk weight pattern, so it's a little thinner and lighter weight than a true aran sweater, but the cable pattern is fantastic.

The Handsome Chris Pullover by Caryn Shaffer was reverse engineered from the sweater Chris Evans wears in Knives Out, and I'm so glad someone beat me to figuring out this pattern so I didn't have to.

Now, if you're just learning or wrapping your mind around cables, I recommend the Antler by TinCanKnits. (I can never recommend their stuff enough) Their patterns are fantastic, always, and very beginner friendly. There's also a free hat version, so that you can see how you like your yarn with the cable pattern, or see if you like the cable pattern at all before you lock yourself into buying sweater quantities of yarn.

Also by Tin Can Knits, and we're diverging from the classic aran sweater fully by now, but Hush is a really interesting design.

Quick aside to say that the pattern that got me loving cables is the Travelling Cables Handwarmers by Purl Soho, and if you're looking for a sort of one-step-past-beginner pattern, those are fun. They also are a good example of how cables really tighten a garment up, not dissimilar to how ribbing does.

The Seaway Pullover by Ozetta is a really good example of using cabling for texturing, which gives it a really interesting look.

I've been wanting to make the Wool + Honey by Andrea Mowry for ages now... it's not really what you think of when you think cables but look at it...... it's so pretty......

The Field Sweater by Camilla Vad is another one I've been eyeing for ages, same as the Wool + Honey. I just need to make it for someone sweaterworthy someday.

Honourable mentions time because I can't help myself:

The Ranger Cowl by Michael Vloedman is so very perfect for renfaire or DnD vibes.

Glimfeather by Sunidesus Knits is a shawl that I just know is the warmest thing in the world, and one day I will own twenty of them.

All of these are ravelry links purely because that's the database I use primarily, but most of these designers have their own sites as well if you prefer that. I do love ravelry though, and using the filters in the advanced pattern search can be so very useful and also so very tempting due to how many pretty patterns there are.

Best of luck on your cabling journeys!

[lokiondisneyplus]

Loki is the latest Marvel Studios TV series in the long-running franchise and it’s currently ongoing with five episodes so far available to stream on Disney+ Hotstar Malaysia. For previous breakdowns of Loki episodes, check out Episode 1 here, Episode 2 here, Episode 3 here, Episode 4 here and Episode 5 here.

If you want a non-spoiler guide to Loki, you can head on over here.

Courtesy of Disney+ Hotstar Malaysia, we were lucky enough to be the only Malaysian media to participate in a roundtable interview with Loki Costume Designer Christine Wada and Loki Production Designer Kasra Farahani.

This interview with Loki Production Designer Kasra Farahani has been edited for clarity.

Keep in mind that we’ll be discussing some elements from all five episodes of Loki so far, so there will be spoilers below:

Q: You’ve previously worked on Black Panther and other MCU movies. How different was the experience of working on a TV set instead of a movie’s? Were there limitations?

Yes, I’ve worked on several Marvel projects. For me, this is the most fun one, maybe because I’m in a different position than I was on the other ones. But also, just because this project is unique in a couple of ways.

Number one; it’s literally in its own timeline from the rest of the MCU. It’s separate from the stories we’ve all enjoyed and seen in the MCU so far. The other thing that this one has that’s really great is the amount of visual and narrative variety. We have this kind of base in the TVA that we spend a lot of time in but also we have all these exciting different places in the world that the story takes us to. These were great worlds to design and to imagine.

In our case, there was no difference. The thing about the Marvel series is that it’s pretty much like Marvel movies; in terms of their creative ambition, in terms of the way they’re scheduled, the fact that we have one director.

There was not much about it (Loki) that resembled an episodic project, except for the fact that it was six hours of content that we were trying to make, so it’s a very long project.

In terms of resources, I didn’t ever feel that we were unduly stretched. Always, when you get a creative brief like this, there’s always a period at the beginning of every project where you’re reconciling the creative brief and the resources that you have. That has been the case for every project that I’ve ever worked on regardless of the size. There’s this beginning phase where that’s the case and oftentimes, it’s in that process where you come up with some very great creative solutions that are a direct result of some of the limitations, actually.

Yeah, I wouldn’t say that we had some extraordinary limitations in this case (for Loki), but that’s generally true for all projects, in my experience.

Q: What were you inspired by when making designing the sets of the TVA with its retro-futuristic and anachronistic aesthetics?

In the source material, the TVA had a lot of different things going on, but one of the strong themes also was this armada of desks, which is kind of typical of a post-war era bureaucracy look. There was a grain of that in the source material but a lot of it also came from the show’s creator and writer, Michael Waldron, who described in the original document I read before interviewing for this job.

He described the TVA as a kind of mix of Mad Men meets Blade Runner. Part of these two strong visual references for us. On top of that, me and director Kate Herron, even before we met and spoken to each other, were inspired by Terry Gilliam’s Brazil also as a strong influence because of the anachronisms that that story had and also because of the clear presence of this strong monolithic bureaucracy, which is something that we have in the TVA also.

For the TVA, we were looking a lot at wanting to create a world that had a paradoxical feeling, being an imposing monolithic architectural space that has brutalist elements in them and had almost Soviet modernist elements to them. The colour palette and the materials and the whimsical patterning were much more like American style modernism.

The result was hopefully when you’re in an environment like this, you don’t know whether to feel terrified or invited. Hopefully, it creates that feeling in both the characters and the audience; this kind of cognitive dissonance in not knowing whether they can trust the TVA or not. That’s the narrative objective.

The writers came up with these ideas and the idea with that was to kind of create the bubble gum wrapper in the Renaissance era (Loki Episode 2) and the futuristic shovel in the early 20th-century farm field (Loki Episode 1). These ideas were placed there to create a trail of clues for the TVA to follow before they have clarity on Sylvie’s identity. But for the anachronisms generally, that was something we tried to do throughout the TVA to have all kinds of strange things from different timelines and different worlds popping up in terms of props, like the Infinity Stones in the mail cart and stuff like that.

Q: What was it like working with Tom Hiddleston, who is a producer on Loki?

It was very exciting to have this opportunity to take the character and his storyline in a different direction. It became all the more exciting when I read the scripts and I saw the type of journey they were going to take the character on.

Tom is a professor of Loki, basically. After all, ten years or so of playing the character; he knows it better than anybody and he has an in-depth understanding of the character and his backstory; the character’s family relationships and he was really helpful in giving a little talk to all the department heads about the background of his character, which was very informative.

Q: Recently, Loki series director Kate Herron said that 90 percent of production sets were physical. Does this include the world of The Void, and can you tell us more about how you brought it to life?

That’s true. That was what was unique about this show, because of my own design approach, and my goal in creating this large monolithic brutalist environment, I felt strongly that the sets needed to be built kinda wholly and that they needed to have the ceilings in-tact. This was also supported by Loki cinematographer Autumn, in that the way of her own style of photography is very wide and low-angled photography, which is why for both of our creative goals, it made a lot of sense to build these sets like completed and 360-degree environments.

For the TVA, that was almost always the case, with the exception of when you saw outside a window. With the Void (in Loki Episode 5), a lot of that was built practically as well. What I can tell you is that we build a large piece of this landscape on a soundstage, which was about 150 feet by 200 feet of undulating wilderness terrain. In that, we would bring in these different scenery elements on different days to make it feel like different places within the Void.

For example, one day there was the bus stop terrain where we meet Loki. One day it was the giant head. One day it was the drive-in movie theatre where we find Sylvie. All of these things were brought in and we shot there over the course of seven days. The terrain was designed in such a way that depending on what angle you shot, it felt like a very different place. Backgrounds were put in during post-production in visual effects. The Loki palace, where the Loki variants kind of hang out, the bowling alley, all of that was also a 360-degree built set as well.

Q: What was the most challenging set of the entire Loki series that you had to work on?

We had a lot of very ambitious sets but I think the city of Sharoo at the end of Loki Episode 3: Lamentis was a very technical set. The goal was to create this virtual one-in, that appears as a single shot. This was a very involved and elaborate process of choreography, basically.

All the different departments were involved to make this happen because as we watch the sequence, we see tons of actors running around, there are explosions happening, the camera’s panning up to see the planet above crumbling and asteroids pelting the surface.

There was a lot of planning that went through at the very beginning. We brought the paper models of this to Autumn, our cinematographer and creative director, to use to plan some of their shots. One day, we had some more information that fed back to the art department where we developed more involved and elaborate drawings and models which again, fed back to them. In this way, we had kind of an iterative conversation to arrive at what the design was.

So, as we start to build the set, many of the department heads came to visit and check the progress. We rehearsed what the shot was going to be, so we could exactly fine-tune the set to meet the needs of this shot and see where the edits needed to be. In order to do this, we needed to adjust the exact width of the roads or move a piece of scenery here and then figure out exactly, okay, there’s going to be an explosion coming out of the ground here and another explosion coming out of the building here and this is when the camera looks up to the sky and sees the planet explode. This is where the window breaks and this is where the guy jumps out and grabs him and there’s a fight.

There are many, many people involved; Monique Garderton, our stunt coordinator, Kate Herron, the director, and also the special effects team, and of course, visual effects, deeply involved, and Richard Graves, who is kind of our AD (Assistant Director), the circus leader of all of it, organizing everybody to kind of work on this thing altogether. It’s the sort of thing that involves so many different departments that it can only really be discovered when working in a big group together.

I would say that was maybe the most challenging technically because there were so many logistical parameters and so many moving parts.

Q: What are your thoughts on diversity in the production of the creative industry?

I think that it is critically important. As somebody who is myself an immigrant, I was born in Iran and my family moved here when I was quite young. I’m super happy to see the direction that the industry is going in. I think Marvel has been particularly excellent in providing leadership in this way and I honestly have to give a lot of credit to Kate Herron, our director.

Almost more than any other project I’ve been on, she prioritised inclusivity and diversity. I mean, lots of people, don’t get me wrong, it’s on every project and on everyone’s mind, but I think Kate went above and beyond because it’s so fundamental to her worldview and she’s such a sensitive soul in this way. One of the many ways in that it was such a joy to work with Kate and I’m very proud of the many different ethnicities we’re representing, and how many women we’ve had. In our art department, we had close to fifty men and women.

It’s important and leads to better creative results that are more fully realized and more representative of what the fans really want.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer

Episode 9- On The Low 

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Episode Summary: Steve and Katie face work whilst trying to keep their relationship under wraps, and a familiar face enters the team for one day only... 

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT (NSFW) and mentions of inappropriate behaviour with animals (nothing graphic, we promise!) NO UNDER 18s!!!!

Episode Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark 

Song for Episode:  Don’t Stop Believing by Journey

A/N: This is a LONG chapter guys, but it’s starting to ramp things up in the investigation so…bear with us! And yeah, we have no idea how suspect banking accounts work so roll with us  here…this is all a load of bullshit for fan-fic purposes and humour anyway so…give it us as creative license!!! Oh and get ready for another Chris character to make an appearance… whether or not you’ve seen The Losers, we hope this makes you laugh as much as it did us when we wrote it!!

As always we live for re-blogs and comments  

CSI Rogers and Barnes Master List // Main Masterlist 

Streetlights people, livin' just to find emotion. Hidin’ somewhere in the night 

The door to the briefing room flew open and Steve turned to see Katie walk in, dressed in her usual jeans, button down and vest top combination along with those damned boots. Her badge which was round her neck on the issued chain swung slightly as she turned and shut the door.

“You’re late.” Steve said a little harshly. She looked at him, arranging her face into a contrite expression and nodded.

“Sorry, no excuse. I didn’t get much sleep last night…”

Steve kept his face straight as she sidled into a seat at the large table next to Bucky who was smirking slightly.

“Where the hell have you been?” Tony looked at her “Kiddo, I ain’t seen you since Saturday morning.” “Busy.” she replied.

“Doing what, or should I say who? You been with Storm?”

“No, Narnia…” she replied simply.

“Narnia?” Tony frowned, looking puzzled.

“Yeah, Narnia business….” The rest of the team sniggered and Steve didn’t miss the look on Wanda’s face as she eyed Katie up and down, a soft smirk flickered across the red head’s face. Deciding he needed to take control as Tony and Katie had now started to bicker, Tony pointing out angrily that he wasn’t running a bed and breakfast for her or whatever biker gang she was running around with, he coughed and raised his voice.

“I’m not interested in your lack of sleep or your domestic arrangements Stark.” he said sternly, crossing his arms in front of him, levelling her his best Captain’s look as the room fell quiet “I’ll see you in my office after. You can explain yourself then.” She made a show of rolling her eyes before she shrugged “Yes Captain.” but he caught the unmistakable flash in her eye and he hastily looked away before certain parts of his anatomy reacted a little bit inappropriately.

He handed over to Tony who gave a bit of a briefing on what they had found on the latest body, which as usual didn’t give them much. Then Katie and Natasha told everyone what they knew about Schmidt so far and how it was looking likely that the case was linked to Rumlow’s, but that they would know more once Jensen had been up to take them through what he had found on the phones.

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that this needs to stay on the low.” Steve said. “I don’t want the press getting a sniff of this being connected to the old case, certainly not until we can 100% make that connection.” “I’ve also been thinking…” Katie said, looking at Steve “We need to speak to Sara Klein. Just to see if she’s heard or seen anything. I know the pattern so far is all about males and we may not have any logical reason to assume she’s in any danger but…well…” Steve looked at her and nodded “Ok, you do what you need to do and track her down,  I’ll speak to Holt seeing as the case was originally the Nine-Nines, give him the low down on what we’re dealing with and that we’ll be digging around again.” “I know this might sound like a stupid question but is there any merit in going to speak to Rumlow?” Clint asked, lounging back in the chair he was sat on “I mean he might be able to help…” Katie snorted “There’s no way he’ll help us.”

“But it might be worth a shot?” Clint looked at her “I mean, if this is connected to his case, he’s bound to know something. Doors open both ways…”

“It’s a good point Clint.” Steve said “Something to bear in mind for the future, but for the time being, until we can one hundred percent confirm a link we’ll keep it on the backburner.”

Clint nodded at his Captain and then Steve glanced round.

“Anything else?”

Silence.

“Ok Avengers, dismissed.” Everyone began to file out, Katie walking with Natasha talking about something. Steve headed back to his office, gave it 5 minutes before he emerged, casually rolling the dial as he did so ensuring that the blinds which adorned the window that looked out into the main area were closed enough so that no one could see inside. It wasn’t unusual for him to do so if he was concentrating on something and didn’t want to be disturbed, so no one would give it a second thought.

“Stark…” he barked. She looked up and he gestured into the room.

“Yes Captain, right away Captain…” she said sarcastically, standing up and walking past him. He shut the door with a loud slam and made sure to raise his voice as she stood in his office, arms folded.

“I’ve put up with your lack of care for time keeping and general attitude for long enough, it stops now…” he said, and she raised an eyebrow the corner of her mouth twitching up a little as he mouthed the word sorry, and grimaced a little. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Very clear, Captain. It won’t happen again…”

“Good, now, run me through what we have on Schmidt in more detail…” he said, walking towards his desk.

“I don’t have more detail…” she dropped her voice.

“Yeah I know.” he grinned, “But they don’t…” “Uh huh…” she smirked up at him “You know your performance out there and just then was worthy of an Oscar, you’re such a Drama Queen. And for the record, I don’t appreciate being chastised for something that technically isn’t my fault. You made me late…” “Sorry.” he shrugged as she took a step towards him “Guess I need to apologise somehow.” “Thought you were done looking for forgiveness?” she quipped and he raised an eyebrow.

“Well I also recall saying I’m way past asking for permission so…” he reached out and grabbed her hips, spinning her round so that the back of her thighs hit his desk. She smirked up at him slightly as she perched on the edge, his hands cupping her face before he bent down and gave her a long, soft kiss.

“You do know the rest of the team are out there, right?” she looked at him as he pulled away.

“Yeah, you’re right…” he said, stepping back “Ok fine, you can go now. Dismissed.” Her mouth dropped open and she looked at him, blinking for a second as she stood up “Seriously?” He shrugged and moved round to the other side of his desk.

“That’s how it is?” she pressed.

“That’s how it is…” he smirked, extremely pleased with how clearly antsy he’d gotten her.

“But Stevie…” she whined, stamping her foot “That’s not fair…” she turned her eyes on him, fluttering her eyelashes, those goddamned eyes that could get him to do whatever the hell she wanted and he felt the front of his trousers suddenly becoming slightly too tight.

“Stop being a brat.” he warned her in a low voice.

She cocked her head to one side before she raised her eyebrows and simply smiled “Fine.” He tone was calm, and collected, and he couldn’t help but feel a little unnerved.

“Honey…” he started but she simply smiled at him, before turning and leaving.

***** Bucky saw Katie coming out of Steve’s office with an unreadable expression on her face, but she certainly was not contrite. He knew all too well Steve was playing the offended Captain when his reprimand to Katie could be heard all over the main office. They would probably have been groping each other while Steve did what he was supposed to do with anyone who arrived late for briefing. Which, in fairness to Katie hadn’t actually been her fault. They’d stayed up late drinking and talking and then this morning she’d barrelled out of the apartment early doors to get home and changed. In fact, Bucky was amazed she’d managed to do it all and make to briefing only 10 minutes behind time.

Thus, he raised an eyebrow at her when she passed by his desk and he motioned his head slightly on Natasha's direction. The red head was scrutinizing Katie like she was the main suspect in a first-degree murder case.

"Asshole" Katie said plopping on her chair. And Bucky saw her looking at him for approval, so he nodded discreetly.

"Did he give you the Son, just don't talk?" Clint, who was throwing pens into an empty pencil pot he had placed over a deck of files and notepads, asked mimicking the Captain's voice.

"Yeah, kinda." Katie scoffed.

"Well, he can be a dick sometimes but you did arrive a bit late. By the way..." Natasha drawled and was about to ask something when Wanda cut in.

"He's only doing his job. I don’t think it’s very professional to show up late for a meeting when everyone is waiting for you. Especially on a Monday after having spent all weekend who knows where and who knows with"

"And that concerns you, because? Go on, enlighten me." Katie said trying to sound as calm as possible but glaring at Wanda.

"Wanda." Natasha warned.

"What? I'm only saying..." Wanda started.

"Yeah well don’t. I'm not interested in what you've got to say. And don't you have reports to file or whatever it is you do?" Katie snapped.

"Burn." Clint quipped, fist pumping as another pen landed in its target.

"Oh and by the way, how was your weekend, Wanda? Have any luck on Friday night?" Katie continued her counter attack, making Bucky choke on the chocolate bar he was munching.

"All right, I need my Frappuccino and it's your turn buying, so you'd better get going coz you're already late for that as well." Bucky told Katie trying to divert her attention from Wanda whose nostrils had flared angrily. “And a Danish…”

Wanda was being a total bitch if you asked him, but he needed to deactivate vicious Katie before things went South. Meaning a slip of the tongue on Katie's part or an inappropriate gesture on Steve's part when he tried to defend his girl from Wanda. Man, this was gonna be a tough job keeping this quiet.

And he was hungry when he was under pressure.

"You're right. And I need to get out of here. Tell Captain Ass-hat I went to grab coffee, be right back." she said to Bucky as she put her jacket on.

Just as Katie was grabbing her purse, her phone rang and she answered the call.

"Hey, Johnny. Hang on a sec, I'm on my way out..."

Natasha and Clint darted a quick glance at each other and then at Bucky who shrugged. To tell the truth, he was as clueless as they were.

"Guess we have our answer there." Wanda said, a smug smile on her face.

"Was she really with Storm?" Clint asked Bucky.

"How would I know?" Bucky replied trying to avoid looking at Natasha who was watching him with squinting eyes.

"Who cares?" Wanda said "She's a total whore who has slept with God and their mother."

"Alright that’s enough!" Bucky hissed jumping up from his seat. "Wanda go to your desk and do some work before you put your foot in your mouth, again." Bucky ordered her in complete Sergeant mode.

Wanda rolled her eyes and did as told by Bucky. She was in no position to protest, he wasn't Steve but he outranked her and she knew that. To be fair, Katie outranked her as well, not that the red head cared as Bucky still heard her mumbling something about Katie fucking him too. He decided to let it be, he didn't want to spur Wanda against Katie, at least, not more than she already was. He made a mental note to talk to Steve about Wanda again, though.

Natasha waited until Wanda had sat on her spot behind the counter at the reception desk before sitting on the border of Bucky's desk arms crossed.

"Barnes? We are having a nice chat in the kitchen you and me. Clint, you're coming too." Natasha commanded and made a sign with her hands for both men to follow her before sitting up and heading for the kitchen.

"Why the kitchen?" Bucky asked, foreseeing a third-degree on Clintasha's part.

"Because I want a coffee. But mainly because I don't want snitchy witchy hearing what I have to say." Natasha offered as she and Bucky entered in the kitchen followed by Clint who was now twirling a pencil through his fingers.

"OK, Barnes, spit.” Natasha urged Bucky to speak as she poured herself some coffee.

"What? I don't know what you mean." Bucky tried to dodge the question.

"Not it, Barnes." Clint said plopping himself up on the kitchen counter and grabbing an apple from a bowl.

"All right. Let's start from the beginning. What was that call from Storm about?" Natasha sighed.

"How would I know?" Bucky protested.

"She hasn't seen him since Friday, has she?" Natasha insisted.

"HOW. WOULD. I. KNOW, Romanoff?” Bucky repeated leaning his elbows on the table and making a dramatic pause between each word.

"Drop that one, Nat." Clint intervened "Guy doesn't know."

"Well, yeah. How about that? Why didn't you reply to any of the fucking thirty text messages I sent you yesterday?" Natasha hissed glaring at Bucky while she straddled a chair next to him.

"Twenty-six." Bucky deadpanned holding Natasha’s stare.

She wanted to play cat and mouse, Bucky thought. Well, watch out for a loyal mouse who wanted the cat to believe he was being cornered.

"Dickhead." Natasha spat.

"By the way, have you talked to Wanda about Friday? Will she stop chasing after Steve now he rejected her?" Bucky asked trying to get some information he could sneak to Steve and Katie.

"She won't let him of the hook. The idiot seems to think that he only rejected her because he's her boss and there were a lot of people from work there. She's delusional." Natasha said rolling her eyes.

Bucky shook his head, he definitely had to warn Steve.

"Good one. I'll give you that, Barnes." Clint chuckled.

"Yeah. She was there when you arrived home yesterday, wasn't she?" she asked with a half-smile.

"You bet she was." Clint added biting the apple.

"Who's she again?" Bucky asked faking a frown.

Natasha groaned and was about to strike back again when they heard steps and Wanda's voice chatting with someone approaching the kitchen.

"Saved by the bell, Barnes" Clint quipped

"Oh fuck, Wanda. This moron is giving me everything." Natasha muttered before standing up and putting the chair back on place.

"I don't... give everything." Bucky said sarcastically.

"Natasha? Ah, there you are!" Wanda said entering the kitchen. "Jake is here."

Bucky turned to look at the man. He had met Jake Jensen on one occasion the team had needed his assistance to crack into some big fish computer. But after Katie's confession they had been more than friends just the previous day, he looked at the man from a different perspective. He would be lying if he said Jensen didn't remind him a bit of Steve. And that was clearly Wanda’s thinking because she was making goo-goo eyes at the man.

"Wanna coffee, Jensen?" Natasha offered.

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks" Jensen said as he left his briefcase on the table and greeted Bucky.

Bucky observed as the man approached Natasha, who was tinkering with the coffee pot, and leaned on the counter beside her

"S- ... Where are you from originally?" Jensen asked, giving her his best flirty pose and look.

"The Russian steppe." Natasha deadpanned without taking her eyes from the coffee pot.

"Wow, so that must have been..." and he hesitated, searching from something clever to say.

Natasha lifted her head to look at him with a serious expression as she open a drawer to grab a coffee spoon.

"…Frosty." Jake grimaced the moment he uttered the word finishing his sentence, but Natasha continued getting his coffee ready.

"Do you have any hobbies?" Jensen tried again.

Bucky shared a glance with Clint. It was amusing watching Jensen struggle to chat Natasha up making a fool of himself.

"When I was little, I collected human ears." Natasha replied playing with him before handing him a coffee mug.

"Good times." Jensen said taking his coffee and faked a chuckle. "But it's...” he didn't finish. Instead he went to the table to grab his briefcase nodding his head.

"Is that a crossbow tattoo you have there." he said pointing at Clint's left arm.

Clint nodded moving his arm to show it to him.

"Cool." Jensen said admiring Clint's tattoo. “I like crossbows, I used to have one, bitches.”

Natasha looked at Clint with an amused smile and he shrugged. Bucky simply blinked in disbelief. This guy was like a watered down version of Flash Fire Dude. Katie really knew how to fucking pick them.

Frogs and princes…

"Ok. Let's go do some work. See what you have for us." Clint said jumping from the counter.

"Yeah. Katie must be back now, surely." Bucky added standing up.

"Katie?" Jensen asked looking between Bucky and Natasha, his eyes wide open with excitement.

"Ok. There you are! I was beginning to wonder if I was alone in this office." Steve’s voice cut across the room and everyone turned to look at him where he was stood leaning on the kitchen doorframe.

"And, where's Stark?" he asked scanning the room searching for her.

"She went out when she got a call from Storm and never got back." Wanda quipped as she walked past Steve out of the kitchen.

"What? She-“ he started to ask, looking at Bucky for answers, but he was interrupted by Jensen.

"Hey, Captain Rogers! How you doing?" he greeted Steve skipping formalities and slapping him on the back.  "When did Hottie Mc Hottie get back?" he added leaning over Steve's ear, dropping his voice.

Steve shot a glare at him before commanding everyone to resume their work at the briefing room.

"We need to talk." Bucky whispered to Steve as they both followed the team down the corridor.

Steve frowned at his friend and spotted the concern written all over his face. He sighed and nodded.

"Later. We have to sort this out first." Steve said nodding towards Jensen who was walking ahead of them escorted by Natasha and Clint.

Steve had begun his day in high spirits. He had woken up with Katie in his arms for the first time ever (which was the reason she’d had to then make a run for it once they’d realised the time) and the weekend had been an absolute blessing, but his day was beginning to descend into a nightmare. What was that Wanda had said? Storm had called Katie and she was nowhere to be seen.

Of course he trusted his girl, he knew she wouldn't do that to him, more over after everything they had gone through. But he had seen Storm flirting with Katie, up close, and he definitely didn't trust him.

God, his nerves were on edge. The little love bubble he and Katie were in had burst the moment he had set foot at the station and it was more than Bucky’s teasing that they had to deal with. Add to that the fact Jensen had been thrown into the mix. And although Steve had known he would be showing up today, actually seeing him and having to put up with his comment about Katie being back was really testing his limits. That said, he knew Jensen was a great asset if they wanted some progress in the case. Besides, if he hadn't been the world's leading authority on waiting too long to go get his girl, Jensen wouldn't even be in the picture. That one was on him.

And now Bucky was saying they had to talk, which was the icing on a very shit cake. He didn't like it. He was sure it had something to do with Natasha going all Perry Mason down on Buck. Or at least that's what he hoped. He didn't want to even think it involved Wanda. She had been suspiciously calm and resigned after he had pushed her away on Friday. But then again, what could she do? He was her boss and it wouldn't be wise to pick up a fight at the station.

His head was a whirlwind of thoughts and mixed emotions by the time everyone was gathered in the briefing room. He could feel a head ache brewing at the back of his eyes already, and it wasn’t even 10 am.  He tried to focus himself back on track and was watching Jensen pull some documents and a laptop out his briefcase when Katie entered the room, three cups of coffee in one hand and a brown paper bag with Shuri's deli logo printed on it.

Steve saw her flash him a swift smile before handing him his usual order, her fingers deliberately and discreetly brushing his, before she set Bucky's one and the paper bag on the table in front of the Sergeant.

"Thanks." Steve said. And he was sure Katie had read relief in that word.

“Oh my God…” Jensen said, looking Katie up and down “Hi.”

“You know that only works once?” Katie said with a laugh, folding her arms.” “Well can you blame a boy for trying?” he quipped cheekily “How’s it hanging Stark?” “You tell me.” she smirked back.

There was a pause before Jensen grinned.  "Come here." he said approaching Katie with arms open to hug her.

"How you doing, Jakey doll?" she asked hugging him back.

Steve saw Bucky look at him, he could clearly read What the fuck, man? on his friend's face. He just shook his head and sipped from his cup. Let them do their thing, he thought, they had to lay low and Jensen was just, well, being Jensen.

"Damn, you look good, girl." Jake said grinning "You cut your hair." he added waving his hand to his shoulder.

"Good observation, J. You don't look bad yourself." Katie smiled at him fondly.

"Why thank you. Liking the dangle of the dangle?" Jensen asked cheekily, hands on his hips.

Katie burst out laughing, shaking her head “You’re an absolute idiot…” Steve could hear Wanda sniggering and Bucky muttering “Oh, for fuck's sake” and that was enough to make the Captain snap. He might not be able to publicly declare she was with him but he was damned if he was letting this carry on. It ended, now.

"Yeah, can we push whatever angle you dangling to one side for a moment and concentrate on the phone records?" Steve asked, his voice a little louder and harsher than he intended.

With that Jensen explained that he had cross referenced the phone records from the 3 victims and found a few things that were puzzling. The first one being that 2 hours or so before the stated times of death all 3 men received a call. Whilst everyone agreed this was far too much of a co-incidence to be purely innocent, the unfortunate news was that they were from 3 different numbers. All pre-paid burners.

“So no point in trying to trace any of them?” Clint asked.

“Well if you get me a warrant I can have a trace and monitor set up on the numbers” he said, “If they do get used again, we’ll know about it…but chances are slim”

“No offence, but what exactly are you doing here?” Bucky frowned “Surely you could have told us this on the phone?”

He saw Katie smirk but Jensen completely ignored him and instead turned to Natasha.  “You asked me to look at anything unusual…contacts in common that type of thing…” Natasha nodded.

“Well it’s your lucky day.” he smiles “seems that all 3 of our victims knew each other…” At that Katie instantly perked up “all 3…you got us a link to Ross?”

“That I did gorgeous.” he smiled and Bucky heard Steve exhale loudly. He nudged the Captain gently in the ribs as a warning to chill out as Jensen continued “So it turns out that about 10 minutes after getting the call from our mystery number, Ross called Sitwell. The call lasted for about 5 minutes… and then Ross called a different number which, unfortunately, was also a prepaid service that I can’t trace.”

Steve watched Katie jot something down on her pad of paper as Jensen continued to talk.

“However, when I cross referenced that new number to Sitwell’s records turns out he made a number of calls to it too, over roughly a month’s period…”

“Dates?” Katie looked at him. Jensen slid over the printed phone records which she picked up and looked at the lines which he had highlighted.  “The month between Ross’ body turning up, and his…”

“And Schmidt also called and text the number several times over a week too…” Jensen said as he once again slid a pile of paper over to her and Katie picked it up “Specifically the week before his death.” Bucky looked at her “That’s your link. That’s proof that the 3 of them had something or someone in common…”

“Doesn’t prove that it’s Rumlow…” Katie said, chewing on her lip

“So that’s the phone records….” Jake said “Like I said, if you get me a warrant I can arrange to have all the numbers monitored, so the next time any of them are used we’ll be able to track and trace via GPS…” “Ok.” Steve nodded “Nat, can you get the paper work drawn up and we’ll get it out to Judge Hill ASAP.”

“Now, do you want the really interesting discovery Baby-cakes?” Jake winked at Katie and Steve rolled his eyes. The guy was a fucking nightmare. Katie merely arched an eyebrow at him and gestured for him to carry on.

“Ross also received a MMS from our mystery man…a photo…” He pulled a piece of paper out of the file in front of him and took a deep breath “Now be warned, it’s fucked up…”

“I’ll take it.” Steve instructed. Jensen nodded and handed it to him. Steve glanced down at it before his mouth dropped open and he gave a disgusted snort before he handed it to Bucky.

It as a picture of Ross…or more specifically a picture of Ross…

“Fucking a goat!?” Bucky spluttered, his mouth hanging open before his face scrunched up in disgust, “What the hell…” “I warned you.” Jensen said, as Bucky grimaced, handing it to Katie. She instantly recoiled in horror before slamming the photo face down on the table. Natasha reached for it, turned it over and arched an eyebrow as Clint leaned closer.

“Well I guess that solves the issue of where the hair came from…” Clint shrugged.

“Was there a message with it, or just the photo?” Steve looked at Jensen.

“It was accompanied with the words ‘I’ve still got copies of this don’t forget. So I suggest you think twice about blowing the whistle…do what he wants.” Jensen said, sliding another piece of paper over the table.

“Someone’s been blackmailing him…” Natasha said, looking up.

“Well, that’s for you to say, not me.” Jensen said “I’m just the techy genius…but if you want my opinion, then yeah.” “There was nothing unusual on Ross’ bank accounts.” Katie frowned before her mouth dropped open and she looked up at Steve who felt that sudden rush wash over him, the one when a piece of the jigsaw dropped into place.

“The Animal Food Company…” he said, striding over to the wall where all the paper evidence they had was tacked. He pulled the item he was looking for down and handed it to Jensen. “Green Bale Animal Feeds…we marked this for further investigation, but didn’t think it was particularly relevant…”

“You got a warrant for this or…” Jensen looked at him.

Steve nodded, before he hesitated a second “Well, we have a warrant to search all three victim’s banking transactions…”

“That’s good enough.” Jensen said “I can trace the account and find out who it belongs to. Give me a few hours…I’m free this afternoon so I’ll stay here and work it live if that’s ok, but I’ll need access to another computer, it’s hard work trying to run a trace on just one laptop.”

"All right, everybody get back to work. And, Bucky..." Steve said turning to look at him "...get Jensen a desk and another computer."

Bucky turned to look at Steve as Jensen gathered his things and the rest of the team started to make their way out of the briefing room. Steve could see he was clearly annoyed.

"Why me?" Bucky mouthed.

"Do I have to explain it to you?" Steve whispered, raising both eyebrows and nodding his head in the direction of Jensen, who was now chasing Katie out of the room.

Bucky groaned and followed them without giving much of a reply to Steve.  He caught up with Jensen, who was showing some pictures of his niece he had on his phone to Katie, and slapped him on the back.

"Come on, pal. Follow me, we'll get you a desk." Bucky told the man.

Jensen shrugged and winked at Katie before following Bucky to his own desk so that he could leave the case files Steve had ordered him to revise.

Bucky started looking up in the station's intranet the availability of a spare room with a computer in it. He wanted to get rid of the annoying man's presence and keep him away from Katie. And he cursed internally when he saw it wouldn't be easy as the only room with a computer available was the incident room and he didn't want anyone outside the team seeing their conclusions and thoughts on the case.

He was thinking about getting him a spare laptop and leaving him in the briefing room when he lifted his head only to see Jensen observing Dot with curiosity.

"Is that a llama?" Jensen asked.

Katie's roar of laughter could be heard from Manhattan and it made Wanda raise her head from the book she was reading and look at her mischievously. Steve, hearing her loud noises of glee peeked his head out of his office door, finding Katie sprawled out on her chair, her head laid back and her chest raising and lowering with laughter. Steve decided to ignore the fuss in the main office before the sight of Katie's cleavage and breasts bouncing got him in an awkward position.

"Shut up, Stark." Bucky roared.

"Thank you for that, Jensen." Clint quipped, snorting.

"She says Dot looks like a llama." Bucky explained to Jensen who was looking around the office clueless as to why Katie was howling.

"Oh. I get it. Dot, not a llama. Cool" Jensen said raising his thumbs up as a way of apology.

"Don't worry. Sam says it's a cat." Bucky deadpanned.

"You know that cats can make a thousand different sounds and dogs can only make ten?" Jensen asked Bucky who looked at him baffled. "Cats. Not to be trusted." he continued as a way of explanation.

"Whatever. It's not a dog either. Dot is a goat." Bucky said starting to walk towards the supplies room, signalling for Jensen to follow him.

"Ouch. Sorry to hear that man. You must be upset about that photo. Are you? I mean that guy... Ross, was it? He did weird stuff to goats. Anal stuff." Jensen continued rambling walking behind Bucky.

"Don't you ever shut up?" Bucky asked turning to look at him before opening the room of the supplies room to look for a goddamned laptop so that he could get rid of the man for a while

******

To his credit, annoying little spiky haired jerk he might be, Bucky had to concede that Jensen knew his shit. By the end of the day he had revealed that the Company the bank was set up in the name of didn’t exist.  The bank had been set up in Switzerland, and the name attached to it was a Mr Paul Ross. Clint made a comment about what a dumbass Ross was, as it wasn’t really covering his tracks, but Natasha pointed out that unless someone really went digging, it would look on the surface of it to be a simple transaction.  Katie then snorted and said that she didn’t care what a dumbass Ross was, because it worked for them.

Jensen also discovered evidence of several cash deposits of $9,000 into the suspicious account the very day after Rumlow’s arrest. Unfortunately, as Jensen pointed out, they were untraceable as you don’t need to supply a name or ID to deposit under $10,000, so unless they could get the bank CCTV, which Bucky pointed out was a no go as they wouldn’t have kept it that long, they were none-the wiser. What they did know, however, was that the cash was then withdrawn in quarters every 6 months for the next 2 years by Ross.

Whilst there was still nothing to link the transactions to Rumlow, or indeed the other 2 victims, it was certainly more of a lead than they had that morning when they started.

"So, I believe that my work here is done…" Jensen announced, as he shut the spare lap top down. He turned to Katie as she stood up from the chair she had been in as they had all crowded round Bucky’s desk. “Fancy catching up over a beer, princess? For old times' sake?"

Bucky could tell the man was trying to sound as casual as possible after his failed attempts with Natasha earlier that morning.

"Thanks for the offer, Jake." Katie said and scrunched her nose before adding "But actually, I'm seeing someone."

"Oh. That's...." he hesitated “Good for you."

Bucky shook his head, he was feeling embarrassed for the man. He then noticed Wanda was watching the exchange like a crow perched on a tree branch. Bucky had seen her eyes shine with excitement when Katie had confessed she was seeing someone. If she only knew it wasn't Storm. He had even spotted the exact moment she realized Katie and Jensen had been a thing in the past and he hadn't liked the expression on her face. Sometimes being a well-trained detective was a pain in the ass.

"Why don't you ask Wanda?" Katie offered Jensen, her voice raising, as her honed investigative skills had clearly also led to her realising they were being watched. "She has a thing for throwing herself at my past partners..." she added as nonchalantly as possible as she knew that would rile Wanda up.

Ok, so that's payback for earlier Bucky thought, fighting back a smirk. Typical Katie, chill and wait for the right time to strike back. He would be lying if he said he wasn't proud of her.

"Maybe another time." Jensen said looking at Wanda and then at Katie "Tell Captain Rogers I said goodbye." he added before saying his farewells to the rest of the team and heading out.

"So, you and Jake?" Wanda asked Katie no sooner was he out of sight.

"Oh. So it's Jake now?" Katie asked as he typed on her computer ignoring her.

But Wanda wasn't gonna let sleeping dogs lie. She was determined to make the dogs bite. Bucky could tell so he discreetly took his phone and texted Steve.

CODE RED.

"Looks like you've made your way through all of New York.” Wanda continued scathingly.

"Nope, only Boston." Katie bit back as chilly as possible, though she was visibly getting annoyed at having to discuss her love life with Wanda.

"And Africa and Hong Kong." Bucky quipped trying to attract Katie's raising rage against himself.

Come on, Steve. Look at your phone, punk!  he thought.

"Yeah, cheers Bucky." Katie snorted when she heard Clint and Natasha sniggering.

"How do you keep track of them? You put pins in a world map?" Wanda asked, arms crossed narrowing her eyes at Katie.

"Listen you little..." Katie started to growl standing up from her chair, but no sooner had she done that Steve’s voice rang out across the main room.

"What the hell is happening here?” he boomed and everyone went silent. Bucky watched as his eyes roved from Wanda to Katie and then back again.

"Wanda. I need you to pull the file for me on the Simpson case so I can review it before Court tomorrow, then you can go home." he said hastily before turning to Natasha and Clint.

"Barton and Romanoff, you can go as well. Good work today." to which they nodded and started getting ready to leave.

"Barnes and Stark, briefing room. Before you go I need you to take me through what Jensen found." he finished, and Bucky noticed the worried expression he looked at Katie with.

"I need to go to the restroom, if that's ok. I'll meet you there in 10." Katie said and shook her head to appease Steve's concern as she walked past him.

Steve looked at Bucky who only glared at him. "I told you we had to talk, punk."

“Later…” Steve grumbled back, before he headed towards the kitchen

Just over half an hour later Bucky, Steve and Katie were in the incident room running over what they had learned.

Steve rubbed at his eyes underneath his glasses. He hadn’t had to wear these for a while, but today he’d had that dull threatening ache associated with tired eyes. Jensen being there pretty much all day hadn’t helped either. Whilst he hadn’t done anything more than simply being Jensen, there was something about how the spikey-haired techy bastard had been looking at Katie that had rubbed him up the wrong way today.

He watched as Katie stood looking at a print out from Jensen that they had tacked to the wall- the wording attached to the horrific goat violating photo. He could tell she was mulling things over, her teeth worrying her lip.

“What is it?” he asked her softly and Bucky glanced up from where he had been making notes on some of the other sheets of evidence to see Steve was stood watching Katie intently.

“The wording on the text…do what he wants, not pay what he wants…” Katie frowned.

“What about it?” Steve asked.

“Well, that sounds to me like the blackmail Ross was being subjected to wasn’t him paying monies…it was to do something…something specific…”

Steve waited as she began pacing in front of the board, a thing she always did when her mind was ticking 10 to the dozen. Suddenly she stopped and looked at him, then Bucky…

“Ok, so, this…it’s a wild one, and a really wild one but I always thought there was something off about the way Sitwell just appeared…what if he was paid to give Rumlow an alibi?”

“By Ross?” Steve frowned, folding his arms.

Katie nodded “But on behalf of someone else. Perfect way to keep yourself out of it, blackmail someone else into doing it for you.”

Steve and Bucky exchanged a glance. “It’s a stretch…” Bucky said after a pause “A real stretch…”

“I know, and probably a load of bullshit too.” Katie said, “But, like witchy out there said…profiling and Detective work is just fucking theoretical until the evidence backs us up isn’t it?”

Steve paused again. It was a long shot, a real long shot but he knew Katie had a sharp mind, and this was what he had brought her back from DC for in the first place. What did they have to lose by following it up?

“Ok, I think that we need to make arrangements to talk to Rumlow.” Steve said. “I’ll get Clint onto it first thing tomorrow and I’ll call Fury. In the mean-time I suggest we call it a day. It’s getting late.” “I’ve got a few things to do first.” Katie nodded “I’ve still not tracked Sarah Klein down so…” “Ok, well, once you’ve done that go home.” Steve looked at her softly, “And that’s an order. It’s been a long day.” She smiled at him and stood on her toes to gently peck him on the cheek.

“Love you.” she said softly before she left the room.

"You reckon this is a good moment to talk." Bucky asked Steve once Katie was out of earshot.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded. If truth be told he wanted to do anything but, however he knew if Bucky was pressing it had to be serious.

"Wanda is a pain in the ass. She's being a total bitch to Katie. She has no regard whatsoever for hierarchy." Bucky ranted and Steve sighed.

"That bad, huh."

"Worse, pal. I talked to Natasha. She says Wanda is so chill with you ‘coz she thinks you only turned her down because everyone from work was there and you wouldn’t want anyone to know. Which is funny in a way if you think of it."  Bucky scoffed.

"Fuck." Steve groaned, hands dropping to his hips.

"Fuck indeed. She's delusional man and that makes her dangerous. If she susses you're with Katie, the whole thing is going to blow on your face." Bucky paced the room.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. That damned head ache wasn't merely a threat anymore. His eye sockets were pounding.

"What should I do? Shall I speak with Wanda to get things clear?" Steve asked more to himself than to his friend.

"I think you should stay away from her. And if she makes another move then talk to her. But never, ever tell her it's because you're seeing someone. She already thinks Katie is with Storm and has had her fair share of fun bickering at her about Jensen too. Let her believe what she wants to believe for now." Bucky explained.

"Yeah. You're probably right." Steve mused before he took a deep breath "You know, now you mention Storm….I’ve had have this feeling on the pit of my stomach all day. I mean, Katie's exes or whatever have never bothered me that much before, but today, I don’t know what it is but Jensen…"

"That's jealousy, because she's your girl." Bucky said and smiled at him.

Steve laughed shaking his head, getting what his friend had just said.

"What? No She's not my girl now?" Bucky chuckled before leaving the room.

******

Steve pushed his glasses up from where they had slid down his nose as he was bent too close to his laptop screen, which was probably why his headache hadn’t improved yet despite taking painkillers.  After talking to Bucky before, he had decided he needed to sort out taking Katie on a date, and he had spent the last half an hour pondering where to go. It was definitely going to be Manhattan as they had less chance of being spotted, meaning maybe they could simply walk down the street hand in hand. He’d promised Katie a meal, few drinks…but as he sat there and glanced at the screen on his computer he was suddenly hit with a much better idea…that is, if there was still availability. Sitting up straight he pulled his laptop further towards him and opened up the web-browser. After about 10 minutes or so, a huge smile spread across the Captain’s face as clearly the God’s were shining down on him, or lady luck was on his side, whichever it was he didn’t care. He completed his purchase then pulled up the next page he needed and finalised his plans.

“Not bad Rogers…” Steve praised himself, sitting back in his chair, a little smug that he’d not only had the idea but was going to actually be able to pull it of…

“What are you looking so pleased with yourself about?”  Steve looked up and saw Katie leaning in the doorway to his office.

“Hey Sweetheart.” he watched her for a second. “You get what you needed to do, done?”

“Sort of. I didn’t manage to speak to Sarah Klein, but I did track her down. She no longer lives in the area." Katie said, stepping into the room, closing the door behind her "Apparently, after she dropped the charges she headed back to Germany. Packed up and just went..." her arms dropped to her side. “I left her a message to call me when she can but…”

"Well, at least we know she's safe."

“I've had Clint start making the arrangements to get us an audience with Rumlow...not that he's gonna give us anything but, well, right now it's as good a shot as we're gonna get." she said, walking towards him. With a gentle movement she straddled him on his chair and his hands automatically fell to her hips as she studied him for a moment.

"You ok?" she asked as she dropped a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Yeah…” he said, leaning back in his chair. She eyed him suspiciously and he sighed “No, not really. If I’m being honest, Jensen before, the way he was with you…oh, which reminds me…what did Storm want?” “Johnny?” she frowned, “How did you know-“ “Wanda.” “Bitch.” she glowered, “It’s none of her business.” “No, but its mine.” he pressed “What did he want?” “Nothing, just to check I was ok after I ran out on him Friday.” she looked at Steve “Are you jealous?” she finished, her mouth curling into a grin.

Steve shot her a look to tell her he wasn’t in the mood for games and to her credit she looked suitably contrite and sighed softly, simply looking at him for a moment.

“Do you know how good you look with these on?” she said, pointing to his glasses, her finger tracing a circle in the air in front of his nose

“It’s not something I think about on a regular basis, no.” he smiled softly “They simply serve a purpose…” “I’ll say…” she muttered, gently moving both her hands up to gently pull them off his face. “You know, I don't know why GQ bother with their sexiest men polls…blatantly obvious I got him right here..."

He rolled his eyes but a smirk tugged at his mouth. ““Flattery will get you everywhere” he grinned as she pressed her lips to his giving him a deep kiss.

“Good to know.” she muttered against his mouth as she pulled away.

“So…” he said, his hands sliding down from her hips to smooth up the outside of her thighs, Storm and Jensen forgotten seeing as she was straddling his lap and clearly after something, that he was seriously considering giving her right there and then “What you doing tomorrow night?”

“Nothing, why?”

“I owe you a date” he said with a smile

“Yeah, you do.” she agreed before she quirked an eyebrow “Where you taking me?”

“Surprise.” he said, grinning to himself. There was no way he was telling her what he had in store, not least because she’d be like a total kid all day if he did. “But we need to be in Manhattan for 6:30 latest so I suggest we go straight from here for the Subway.”

“Interesting…” she pondered “you gonna give me a clue?”

“Nope.” he shook his head, grinning as she pouted at him.

“Not even a little one.” “No, so you can stop asking me.” “What do I need to wear?” she asked, looking at him with a smirk “You gotta tell me that at least.”

“Smart casual is fine.” he said, smirking again as she frowned, clearly hoping that the dress code would have helped her get some idea as to where it was they were going. “Just, let me surprise you, please, no digging or detective work.”

“Ok.” she agreed after a pause. “You win.” “Sorry, say that again…”

“You heard me.” she teased, her hands resting on his shoulders whilst his gently moved from her legs to her hips

“You coming home with me tonight?” he asked her softly.

She groaned “I really want to but I need to go home. Tony’s done nothing but bitch and moan at me either in person or on the phone all day about where I’ve been.” she looked down and Steve was surprised to find she looked a little upset, forlorn even. “It fucking sucks, living with my brother after having had my own place for so long. He actually told me before he was gonna give me a curfew, I mean…”

“You know if you want, only if you want…” Steve said, tilting his face up to look at him “You can come stay with me. At least until the case is done and then, well…” He let the sentence drop for two reasons. One, he didn’t want to make her feel obliged and two, they hadn’t decided what was going to happen post the case. Whether she would return to DC for the rest of her secondment or stay. Neither of them had thought that far. Steve knew which one he wanted, but he also wasn’t going to push her either way. That was her decision.

“Yeah that’s gonna look really good that Stevie!” she shook her head “In a bit Tone, moving in with Captain Bad Ass who’s guts you think I hate…”

Steve observed her for a moment as she dropped her eyes again “I hate this.” “What?”

“Having to keep this on the low…” Steve sighed and reached up to brush the longer side of her hair behind her ears. “It’s only until this case is sorted…” “The rate it’s going that could be months.”  

“Ok, well how about…” he asked, his right hand gently cupping her cheek “If it goes on past another month we’ll come clean.” “And I’ll get taken off the case.” she groaned.

“Throw me a bone here Doll…” Steve’s tone was equally as exasperated “I’m trying to come up with some form of solution.”

“I know, sorry…” she said, leaning forward and giving him another soft kiss before she pressed into him, forehead on his chest and he rest his chin on her hair. He pondered something for a moment, before he had an idea that might make it a little easier, certainly out of work anyway.

“Come clean to Tony.” he said, and he felt her still slightly as his hand softly ran up and down her back. “He won’t rat us out, he’s your brother and won’t want you to get in any trouble.” “Suppose not.” she mused, before she pulled back again slightly so she could look at him “You do realise that he’s gonna hit the roof.” “Yeah, and I’m expecting he will threaten to murder me in my sleep or something to that effect.” Steve shrugged “What else is new?”

Katie chuckled slightly, he hands sliding up his chest before they came to rest on his shoulders and she gave a gently squeeze. Steve gave a soft sigh of satisfaction, cracking his neck slightly as she began to work at the muscles softly whilst he sat still.

"God your shoulders are so knotty." she mused and he left out a breath through his nose moving his head to the side and cracked an eye open to look at her.

“Yeah well, I did a lot of exercise last night…” he quipped back as her hands continued to work at his shoulders.

“I’ll say…” she grinned. “You know that thing you did with your mouth is actually illegal in several countries.” “Which is part of the reason I’m so glad we live where we do…” he said, voice low as he felt himself relax under her touch and she carried on working at his muscles in silence for a moment as his hands gently flexed on her hips, his eyes closing again.

Fuck this was heaven.

"You know, when all this is done…we should go away.” Katie spoke, rousing him a little.

“Anywhere in mind?”

“Always wanted to go to Italy.” she said, “Although I wouldn’t say no to a trip to Disney Land either, but the on in California…never been before.” “Running around a Theme Park all day isn’t exactly relaxing…” he opened his eyes and arched his brow at her.

“No, but it would be fun.” she said, “And we can have a few days at the beach or by the pool…” “Yeah, maybe.” he said, noncommittedly. “Not really my scene Doll…”

“Reckon I can convince you otherwise…” she grinned cheekily.

“Yeah? And how exactly are you gonna do that?” he looked at her, the flash in her eyes evident and he felt the familiar pull of desire in his stomach.

“Reckon I can think of a few ways……” she said slyly, as one of her hands slid from his shoulder around the back of his head to tangle in his hair and she used it to pull him forward to connect their lips. Steve kissed her back immediately bringing his hands up to wrap around her back and pull her closer. He groaned involuntarily when her tongue touched his and his hands moved down, gently squeezing at her ass.

“Convinced yet…?” she murmured.

“Not exactly the word I would use…” he raised an eyebrow.

She grinned back and then began to rock her hips on top of him grinding down on his growing hardness and he sighed slightly, tipping his head back as she kissed him harder, pushing down again. He raised his hips, rocking up to meet her and it was her turn to groan as he pushed harder, rubbing harder. His hands were now firmly holding her hips, sitting just under the hem of her top and his mouth moved to cover the spot under her ear that he knew drove her to distraction. She tilted her head to the side as he trailed kisses down her neck, across her jaw until his mouth caught her lips again.

“Baby…” he muttered softly “This is only gonna end one way if we don’t stop.” She sighed and dropped her head softly, resting it against his “I know, I know…sorry.”

Her movements stopped and he felt her breathing even out and she took a deep breath before her hands slid to his arms. She gave his biceps a soft rub before she moved to stand up. “I should go.” Steve hated this. He hated the fact they had to sneak around. He watched her for a second as she stood up and smoothed her top down before something inside him snapped.

“Fuck this…” he muttered, and in a swoop he was on his feet. She gave a surprised squeak as pushed her back against the desk, forcing her to sit down with a thump. With a hasty move of his arm he pushed everything to one side, vaguely aware that paper and pens and fuck knows what else were sent flying as he kissed her, fiercely, his hands roving under her top.

“I don’t know what’s got into you…” she said, her voice raspy as he moved his attention to her ear, her hands fumbling with the buckle on his belt “But I like it…” “Yeah, well, give me a minute and I’ll get into you…” he said as he swatted her hands away and quickly undid his belt and his flies himself. She gave a snort of a laugh as he moved to undo her jeans. She lifted her hips slightly, allowing him to pull them down as far as her boots would allow, which wasn’t far enough. Giving a curse he dropped to his knees, slid the zips down on each before he tossed them aside, pulling her jeans off in a movement so fast he was almost a blur. He stood up quickly and pushed her shoulders back so she was led flat on the desk. Shoving his jeans down over his hips, he grabbed at her knees, pulling her legs apart and sliding her towards him. In a swift movement he was buried inside her, both of them letting out a groan as he began to move, setting a fast hard pace. Her hands flew to the side, more stationery flying off the desk but neither paid it any attention, his thrusts deep, fast, hard.

“Fuck…” he heard her groan, as he pounded into her over and over. “Steve…”

“God you feel so good…” he mumbled, unable to articulate much else. Up until now their sex had been fairly tame to date. Amazing, yes, but this…this was carnal, the frustration of the day and the situation had been simply too much for the pair of them. But he wanted to slow down, love his girl, he really did, so he summonsed every bit of self -control he had and taking a deep breath he slackened his pace slightly, and rolled his hips deliberately making her cry out softly. He reached down and hooked his arms around her, pulling her up so she was facing him, wrapping one of her legs round his waist as he continued to grind into her. Her head dropped back, her mouth falling open in a silent gasp.

“Don’t stop…” she pleaded, looking back up at him “Please Captain…” Fuck, that word…her saying it in such a way did things to him that, frankly, nothing else could and he began to pick his pace up again slightly as her hands flew around to his back, clawing at him, fisting into his shirt. It wasn’t long before he felt the tell-tale flutters of her tightening around him.

“Come on doll…” he groaned “Come for me…come on…”

“Fuck…Stevie…I’m…” she gasped she let out a low moan, that was almost a growl, a noise he’d never heard from her before, a primal, raw lament as her hands tightened their grip, her legs spasmed and her head tipped back again before she collapsed forward, her head on his shoulders.

“Shit, Doll…” he groaned, and with a final few sloppy thrusts he followed her right over the edge, his thrusts slowing to a stop, the force of his own release leaving him clinging to her like his life depended on it.

***** Bucky shuffled some papers that were scattered over his desk, looking for his phone. He had already been half way home when he noticed he had left it at the station. He found it under a folder, no wonder he hadn't seen it before leaving for home. But then again it had been a demanding day and the sight of Ross fucking a poor, innocent goat was still haunting his mind. What kind of degenerate could do that to a goat? Cows existed for a reason, right?

He turned to go but stopped, frowning as he realised there was light on Steve's office which he hadn’t noticed when he had walked back in before. Mind you, the blinds on his office window were closed, they been all day, he was sure of that. But still he could see a beam of light sifting under the door.

Typical Steve move, he thought, send everyone home while he stayed late finishing whatever reports he had to send Fury the following day, or as he suspected in this case, reading over the case notes for his Court appearance tomorrow. Bucky had hoped the accident would teach his friend something but apparently it hadn't. Still, he had his hopes on Katie's influence now.

He approached Steve's office to tell him he was back but heading out again and, while he was at it, force him to call it a day and go get some rest. It had been an exhausting day for his friend too.

He was about to knock on the door when he heard Steve. At first, he thought he was talking to someone on the phone and he had his other hand already over the door handle when he froze in his spot.

"Come on doll. Come for me... come on..."

Bucky heard Steve groan. He closed his eyes and grimaced. Was Steve having phone sex?

"Fuck....Stevie... I'm..."

Oh holy Jesus fucking Christ!.  Nope. Katie wasn't on the other side of the phone line. She was right there with Steve, probably under him actually…

“No, no, no Buck, stop thinking those things!” He mumbled to himself before fleeing the office as fast as he could, scarred for life, vowing mentally never to touch anything in Steve’s office ever again…

[currentfandomkick]

Why Marinette Hates Tim

Marinette blames Tim next summer for all that happened. Why? He cursed her with a vague theory. And Max and her Both know give her a clue and she has to follow it to solve the puzzle—a fatal flaw for her, Puzzler, Hero Stalker (Tim), Riddler and her father, Professor Strange (even if he is using an alias and supposedly dead as far as legal documents go).

Hero Staker Tim swore he’d become Robin if the current one left. It was a joke between them, she thought. Then he vanished the next summer, the first one where there wasnt any Robin mentioned anywhere. It was eery.

Then, then Timothy Drake, heir to some company-who looks a lot like her Hero Stalker—is a Wayne. And there’s a new Robin. This... deeply bothers Marinette. Why? New Robin seeks her out and talks a lot like Hero Stalker. And has a too similar movement pattern and tells.

And wasnt Hero Stalker Tim from a rich but high on neglient at best family? Didnt that happen to Timothy Drake before ending up as a Wayne?

Her that puzzle peice was central to figuring this out and goddamnit. Frost, who hates gossip, told her to just look up the rich families with kids Hero Stalker’s age and see who looked like him and to leave from to his lab and antidotes already.

Frost accidently gave her the vital method to see if Hero Stalker was that dumb to be become Robin after Robin the Second (Jason) was brutally murdered. The answer was yes.

And now Marinette had a crisis. She knew Batman’s identity was Bruce Wayne. How? Tim calls Bruce his dad. New Robin slipped and called him dad. And Tim is New Robin since Tim is Hero Stalker and no one else came close to looking like Hero Stalker from the data pool which involved more hacking than she ever thought she would do.

Marinette, a child, figured out who Batman was by age 9 becuase his new Robin/former Stalker was too obviously himself. She is embarrassed on his behalf, and honestly debates asking Riddler to separate him and Bats in a non-lethal puzzle trap just to lecture him. Becuase what the fuck Hero Stalker! If she can figure it out, then everyone else can too! Probably(?) likely. Either way its bad!

She doesnt though... Riddler puts together she’s concerned for the new Robin, traps Bats in a different puzzle maze from Robin, who is stuck with a grounded Marinette. Why was she grounded, easy. She got caught returning stolen jewlry on camera. It was punishment for failing basic stealth—always take out any witness.

And instead of pointing out she knows who Bats is, she tells him to work on a different persona since ‘i made you weeks ago. Its pretending to be someone you’re not completely is all. I have to do that around Maman and Papa all the time, and whenever i go out with anyone really. Up your secret identity game already!’

Riddler is busy with Bats and didnt do cameras. Why? “Im not redesiging a perfectly good grounding maze every time. They take time and i dint always have it. Its time economics Batman. I dont know what our lovely Princess said or did to your Robin. He’s fine though, see? No major injuries.”

Tim relized Marinette knew Hero Stalker was batman’s new Robin. This meant one thing—he could still help her and the RKC now! Why? He knew even if they made him out, they want to help people and never be like their parents, duh. And if they added to his budding information network with incredibly accurate information so long as he didnt rat them out to Batman, its fine.

Afterall, Pixie Pop wants to help poeple and is working the rouges into vigilantes to help more than hurt, and is doing a great job of it for the most part. So if Pixie Pop is Princess who’s the maybe kryptonian and her powers align with that theory, so what? Superman has an heir already and a bio!son too, apparently. Lois didnt tell him since they werent together then and yeah. So really, Superman didnt need another kid, and Pixie Pop didnt want another dad—“i have Papa and Father and now four of my friends’ dads in Paris called dibs on partial custody. I have more dads than i need for a quartet. That is far too many dads and i refuse to get another one!”

Then Marinette is talking to Alix and finds out about an old director at the Lourve her dad knew, Diana Prince. Marinette was working on a Wonder Woman inspired outfit, and knew her history of Wonder Woman thank you. Its just...

Wonder Woman appeared just after Miss Prince Left. And from the videos Alix sent of her new hero, she was terrifyingly similar to Wonder Woman. Not only did they look alike and have the same hair style preference, it was the same face if she did facial recognition with Markov, her robot son with Max. Then there was gait, generao stances and how she interacted with men and women so differently as both people and damnit. Same person.

She curses Hero Staker Tim for this. She now has to hide two hero identities. Why her?

The third was debatably Ivy and Harley’s fault, but defiantely still Tim’s. Why? He was the one that got her hooked on Barry Allen’s cases, and pointing out that he didnt see meta as bad or evil but as people who can be good or be civilians peacefully. That, she needed that with how much vitrol she had to swallow about her powers indirectly from everywhere but her school and some parts of Gotham.

In her defense, she is a nerd here. A nerd. So realizing the The Flash is also the forensics guy from Central City that she kinda follows on all her social medias, watches the cases of unfold, and knows has a reputation for being late a lot like her but is still well liked. So she may fangirl about his cases with Hero Stalker erm. Tim now, still.

And if one day she managed to pout at her father enough to get him to agree to let her go with Harley and Ivy to Central City for a few days to see the meta museum they just opened up (technically the Flash Museum, but Marinette didn’t care. It was focused on metas not being horrible and that meant a lot to her scared, meta closeted butt).

And then her favorite forensic investigator, The Barry Allen, shows up? Best day ever. He’s nice! And concerned about how much of his cases she knows. Its not her fault this time though! Hero Stalker—Tim—sent her a case of his that went cold and she liked his science and yeah. New hero added to her listpersonal heroes list.

Harley isn’t even mad, just amused as Marinette fangirls over someone that isnt her and Barry has no clue how to respond as a tiny child know him as Barry Allen and thinks he’s awesome? Why?? He is happy but so confused and Iris is dying until Marinette cites cases that she shouldnt know about and tiny child why, how, when and where did you get that information!

The only answer is a friend likes cold cases and has no qualms hacking to find interesting ones, if he’s stumped then Marinette (Jill Smith mr. allen sir!) gets to try. And she is good at it since she can ask an officer in France (officer Raincomprix) about logistical things, common error margins and then puzzle it all out herself from there.

Somewhere she mentions absently that her mom doesnt like her science-y side since her dad was a bad person and liked science but she still likes learning and helping, even if the family buisness is food and service and they want her to either take over or become a designer. She’s thinking maybe for people woth disabilites so she can do more mental work and toy with hiw things bend and move and such.

Iris and Barry are ConcernedTM and debating how to get custody, or get her away from her mom or both. Probably both—no science allowed for a clear science obssessed kid is a red flag for bith of them that somethinf is very wrong. Harley and Ivy wave it off as “trust us, her mom aint budging.”

then the Flash is needed because of some gorilla—Marinette was more focused on an outfit on display and muttering over aerodynamics and friction. Barry is Concerned (smart kid, likes helping, potentially a league ally?) before he bolts, determined to get more on her when he returns and possibly see if he can get cps involved.

Marinette only notices that her hero moving so fast and oh god she did it again damnit! That was superspeed. And only one speedster had similiar measurements, the Flash.

She cant even tell Hero Stalker now because he’s Robin and the Justice League would Flip if they knew she knew 3 of their hero’s identities. She just hit her head and said “i did it again!” Harley pats her head while Marinette burrows into her because why is she a danger to the Justice League and secret identities! She doesnt want to be or to know damnit!

Tim sneezes in the distance and wonders who’s talking about him behind his back this time. He messages batgirl about this bad feeling he has and she laughs it off as the boy developing Batman’s paranoia.

Her Fourth solve was Green Arrow. It was an accident! She swears. She just saw oliver queen with a bow and arrow in a video shooting. and noticed he had a very distinct and familiar style to someone but not who. Then compared it to various archers as her brain was nagging. Then saw a green arrow video and cursed herself again then Tim five more times.

She sent a message to Rose asking why she’s a danger to all secret identities. Rose tells her it is her curse for being too damn smart and not leaving things alone.

Marinette tries reallly hard not to figure out the next one. But really, it should have been an earlier solve and she’s mad at herself for missing it for so long, even if it was more aviodance than denial.

Admittedly this one should have been an earlier solve, but she was very little when she found out about the surgery and everything and it was uncomfortable damnit! So she did what any reasonable child would. Ignore it. Then she went over the file to see if maybe she could possibly target parts of the kyptonian DNA in her to weaken it. And saw who the intended donor was, Clark Kent, a reporter that has impossible luck with big hero scoops, is never injured or rescued, and never been sick. He also looks like... one quick photoshop of his glasses onto superman with a clothing change and she sees her usual disguise technique on goddamn superman. She is overwhelmed with this as ‘oh god superman will kidnap me if he finds out!’ And hides from him whenever he’s in the region—be it France or Gotham.

Her friends think its hilarious, Marinette feels sick from it. She doesnt like this and is genuinely scared for her life and family’s safety now. And we all know how nervous marinettes are.

If at one point batman tried to talk to her on patrol and somewhat suceeded. As in, she spoke beofre bolting.

“I didnt figure out who boyscout and amazon and boltbrain and arrowhead are! Or you and the batfam! Bye!!!!” Yes, clearly Marinette can lie very well.

Batman sees through it and feels sick. He forces a league meeting asap and fills them in.

“this kid put five of our identities together and cant even lie. We need to recruit them.”

“Batman, is this that kid KF mentioned to me?”

Batman nodded. Flash sighed. “Okay. We are on a manhunt for a kid kyptonian that is terrified of all of us, very smart, and may have an active gotham villain as a parent. And somehow knows me and—wait. bats, do you have any pics of your rogues in civilian clothing? I need to test a theory...”

A few minutes later and “oh my god that little kid i met as a civilian figured me out!”

A few days later Flash finds her by acccident as a civilian kid in broad daylight on her own in Central. He doesnt show he knows she knows, And finds out she’s waiting for her babysitter to finish a class.

Flash just asks about a case he put together as Barry Allen that she might know about and...

“Uh, mr. Flash? Why are you asking me? The lead florensics was Barry Allen.”

He tries insulting Barry Allen—he’s late and sloppy and—

only for Marinette to defend him to the death. “He’s late because he stays up late working on other cases. Appearances and organizational skills arent what matters with his expertise mr. flash! He even foghts for metas to have their circumstances and powers impact on them considered dueing sentencing!”

Flash is very touched and shocked. only then he manages to get out of her that where she lives (france) being meta is a life sentence to “a living zombie And jail-time for being born a lot, even if it is t in normal prisons. And you know what? Mr. Allen stated so many times that you need to contextualize powers and abilities and intent in his testimonies for meta cases. Back home youre put in prison for defending yourself...” she tugs at her sleeve here.

“Maman screamed at me when she found out a few kids were getting stalked and i helped out and someone got it on tape. Not becuase my powers showed or anything—father made a treatment so they dont, well, they stay off when i use them and follow all the behavior and environmental rules so they cant put me in one of the centers. But she, she’s stills cared someone will try to check me for abilities back in France, and that she’ll lose me. She doesnt always realize i have them until things like that happen...”

Flash is desperately trying not to adopt her. Wally would love a little sister, and Superman has enoguh kids, Bats does too. he is oreventing arrow form having another one as she’s powered and that isnt a good when working with Green Arrow unless the meta is his girlfriend. And the girl loves science—come on!

batman, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman and Superman heard the Feance bit over comms and suddenly it hit them that the kid could be in danger for existing and that an entire country villified being meta to an extreme. That the girl is in hiding and probably using an alias constantly. Batman mentally adopted her ages ago and is now in Worried Dad mode like Flash and apparently Superman was falling into it too. Wonder Woman is in righteous rage mode and ready to fight france herself if she has to—no imprisoning metas for being metas!

Flash decided to be direct since he knew she trusted him as Mr. Allen and knows he’s Flash.“So, am i allowed to know which powers you have?”

Marinette shook her head, visbily distressed and floating skightly. “If, if they ever find out i cant. I cant risk Maman and Papa and Father. I dont know everything but Father only started being a good person after the, the incident where he had to go into witness protection. Maman is dead as far as a lot of people are concerned, or she never existed. Papa doesnt know about any of it. I cant. I cant risk what they worked for by being outted.”

Flash is very concerned. “Thats a lot of pressure to put in yourself, especially at your age.”

marinette didnt make eye contact then. “I have to. If i dont people can connect dots and dashes and blips. Father says its easy for him too and that possibilities are just what we’re both hardwired for but. But i shouldn’t catch as many as i do—my teachers keep saying i need to dial it back and stop catching on so fast and blurting it all out but, i just...” marientte is visibly drowning under the pressure to act not-meta and keep her family safe.

“Sounds like youre a real smart kid.”

“Smart kids dont get caught.” She meant herself with her jewlry returns, Flash thought she meant the JL, and tried to redirect the conversation.

If the JL was out then...

“If you cant tell me, can you at least tell me you have someone to talk to about these things?”

“Auntie Quinn and Rose. Rose doesnt like you guys though.”

Flash laughed a little at that. “Alright, fair enough. Who made her mad? Was it arrow?”

“Batman.” Marinette frowning as she said the enxt bit. “Something about her being given to someone that should never be allowed bear children? She rants a lot so i cant always keep up.”

Batman internally bangs his head against a table. Outwardly, he says “Ivy’s daughter, rose. That girl, she’s the Princess.”

The assemebled winced. They all pushed for Rose to be sent toback to her mother, Ivy, since they didnt trust her with any available mentor and Ivy was usually a low ranking Gotham eco-terrorist pacified by wayne gardens and green initiatives. Apprently Rose has a lot of sway over the Princess too.

Marinette changes the conversation while. Waiting for her babysitter, Ghoul, to leave class. She needs a distraction from her situation that the Flash was willing to give her.

“Can i look at the case again? Something doesnt add up... there! See? Its close to the Speedsters that leave marks at those angles but only if they really mess with the speed force and the spacetime continuum! But theres no evidence of that, its a lightning meta, Possibly using it to teleport since no one came in or out on camera. Its a slight angle and all but...”

Flash decides Marinette will join the Justice League one day or so help him! He also decides to target france’s anti-meta policies and possibly kidnap Marinette.

The League isnt letting him. But he has a fan of Barry Allen who is handling Gotham’s criminals and beign given slack by them... albeit also raised by in-part. But the girl has a strong moral compass that is a lot like most of League’s so.

He’s fighting Bats for custody on principle. His fangirl, he has dibs!

Dont know why it ended up with Flash becoming a ‘Marinette is my daughter now’ person but why not? Wally would like her as a sister, probably.

Marinette blames all of this and the future consequences on Tim. She hates her vanishing freind for this.

[smokeyloki]

Toasters were always rude, persnickety things, and prone to complaints.  Yes, even the second-hand, tarnished metal block of a toaster that Bradger owned.  One side was completely broken, anyway, and wouldn’t heat anything beyond “touch of heat”.  White bread came out of that slot with barely a shadow, no matter how many times Bradger would patiently stick his untoasted slice of bread back in there. 

Speaking of Bradger..

..that depressed cyborg had headed out to..where ever he went sometimes, during the day.  He still needed money for things like food and clothing. 

Technically, his android roommate needed neither of those things.  No...all he needed was a corner of the one-room apartment for himself, and enough power running through the outlets for a charging port.

Harlem watched the toaster with a critical eye, then tore his gaze away to look around the room.  Really..it matched the rest of the place.  This “apartment” was barely more than a hole placed in the building; an afterthought with paper-thin walls, an uncomfortable floor, poor lighting, and scant accessories.

“..But then again,” Harlem mused aloud, glancing at the toaster, “Bradger always seemed like a minimalist at heart.”

Poor joke, really, and it fell flat even on his own ears.  This man was living in a hovel, a disgusting hovel, and Harlem hated it.  Maybe, though, that was because Harlem wasn’t supposed to be in this hovel.  Maybe it was because he should be a disembodied AI whose sole job was overseer of a real, actual house.  Houses with happy people living in them!  Houses with carpets and lamps and couches and chairs and..and...

Harlem glanced around the room again, then eyed the toaster.

“Don’t give me that look,” he grumbled, sliding off the couch and pattering across the floor to grab his shoes.

“This is a great idea and there’s no way it’ll backfire.”

..In hindsight...maybe telling Bradger about him using Bradger’s credit card information without his express permission was not the best plan. 

But it was practically Bradger’s fault!  He had bought Harlem some new shoes and an extra outfit that one time and Harlem, being an android, could easily store all the information about the card inside himself.  PIN numbers and the like weren’t exactly hard to keep track of, Bradger. 

Still, the sound of Bradger’s heavy footsteps on the creaking stairwell, weighed down by the metal joints that replaced his once-human legs, had Harlem fidgeting.  Should he hide, perhaps, behind the beanbag seat..?

But the door was creaking open, the old, wobbly doorknob in danger of falling out of its hole and making a hole in the thin floor beneath it.  So Harlem, out of places and time to hide, opted to stand awkwardly in the very center of the room, as if he himself were a part of the decorations.  He watched the knob - it didn’t fall out this time - and then the hooded figure was stepping into the tiny apartment.  Bradger was tall enough on his own, especially with the addition of his metal legs, but the room makes him a veritable giant.  A giant who was gaping at the room as he pulled back the hood of his jacket, showing his mishmash face of metal and human parts, and the green ponytail that was growing out of its dye. 

Bradger’s moods were usually..sulking.  Sulking or angry or moody...and he never seemed surprised by anything.

Was it the little lantern lights strung around the upper trim of the room?  Maybe it was the wall decal that made Bradger’s mouth hang open.  Then again..it could be the beanbag chair in a corner of the room, along with the tiny desk against a wall.  Maybe it was the curtains hung around the drafty little window...the ones clearly made out of his old blanket.  Speaking of blankets..yes...Bradger had said that the bed was his..but the bedding needed a serious overhaul!  It didn’t even have patterns or anything on it!

Harlem scuffed the small bit of circular carpeting beneath his feet.

“...Surprise..?” he squeaked, raising his glimmering eyes to look at Bradger. 

Bradger’s eyes finally found Harlem, resting on him a moment before flickering around the room. 

Finally, Harlem couldn’t take it.

“Look...uh...I’m a house manager.  That was my one job.  So..so I couldn’t just..live in a dump like this-”

“What?” Bradger’s voice was a croak, and Harlem shrank against himself.

“You...you just..but..how’d..expensive..?”

“...Oh.” Harlem cracked a nervous chuckle. “Yeah..yours.  Kinda.  Obviously.  I don’t have a job.”

Bradger’s whole posture stiffened at that, so Harlem was quick to finish explaining.

“But-..but!  Most of this was like..really cheap..or..or people didn’t want it.  There’s a lot you can find on the internet and-”

“Why?”

Harlem stuttered to a halt.  Bradger was no longer croaking, but his tone was somewhat pointed and very..well..a something that Harlem couldn’t read or determine. 

“Why..?”

“Why do this?  Do your functions make you do stuff like this?  Are you really this tied to your own programming that you can’t not take my house apart-”

“It’s nOT A HOUSE!” Harlem finally snapped, quite loudly, at that.  It made Bradger shut up for the second time in five minutes.  Harlem huffed in his direction, his arms outstretched and his veins gleaming greens and blues.

“It wasn’t a house, Bradger!  You’re living in a hole!  A hole in a building!  I wanted..maybe I’m doing it because of my programming, yeah.  But maybe..just maybe I also couldn’t stand watching you live in such a depressing place!  Maybe I wanted that part of you that was human to feel like they were living in a human place.  Somewhere even the tiniest bit appealing!  Somewhere that someone might actually call a home!”

Bradger stared at the android while he fumed and glowed various colors.  Then Harlem was done, his little rant ended almost as soon as it was begun.  Did Bradger want him to return everything?  Tear down his day’s work and turn it back into that depressing living space?

“...I was even gonna paint it.  But paint’s expensive.”

Bradger blinked at Harlem, then looked around the room again.  Silently, he traced the little lights and the wall pictures and the bedding and new furniture.  Then he let out a soft breath, dropping his grocery bags on the carpet.

“I mean...I guess...paint..huh?”

Harlem watched him a moment, then smiled a tiny bit to himself.

Ah..Bradger.

He knew a Bradger “thank you” when he heard one.

“...You’re welcome.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bradger belongs to @supesofherown

[queertazsecretsanta]

Bird Feed

A gift for @call-me-page, created by @aphaceland!

Happy Candlenights!

Title: Bird Feed

“Lup, that better not be the fresh bread you’re feeding them.”

“They deserve the best, Taako.”

Ever since the two of them opened up the Bready or Not Bakery, people had been flocking to the twins to get their fill of the kickass pastries they made. Unfortunately, they weren’t the only ones flocking. At first it was a group of pigeons that swarmed a warm bun that someone dropped on the sidewalk outside. Then word traveled to the sparrows and seagulls after some poor soul dropped their cupcake frosting-side down, sending sprinkles scattering across the curb. The most recent freeloaders had been a bunch or ravens or crows or whatever cawing up a storm right in front of the shop. At this point Taako had had enough and Lup wasn’t helping at all.

“That’s probably not even good for them.” Taako said, crossing his arms and leaning on the door frame.

“As long as it’s not all they’re eating it’s fine. Just a little snacky snack for some good birdy boys,” she said in a sing-song voice. Great, his sister was baby talking to a bunch of dirty street birds.

“Alright, suit yourself. Just know that ya boy, that’s me, hi, is gonna take your tips if you don’t get your butt inside and help me make the rest of the muffins before the store opens.”

At that, Lup gets up, dusts herself off, and runs back inside, glancing back only once to see the gathering of various birds enjoying the crumbs she left behind. Only after the birds finished their small snack did a raven, much larger than the other ones present, land right in the middle of the frenzy. The other birds flew off, leaving the raven looking for what was left. The large raven flew over to the side of the shop, right beside the display case that Taako was setting up for the day. The raven perched itself on the windowsill and pecked at the glass.

Taako only spared a single cursory glance the raven’s way before he went back to setting up. It was enough that he had to get out of bed early to make the pastries, but he had to arrange the display just right so that it was all appealing as fuck. The taste was already amazing, natch, but you need to make sure the people actually bothered to buy it first. He was positioning a cheesecake slice so that strawberry was just perfect under the lighting when the raven pecked at the glass again.

“What?” he asked, nearly dropping the cake in the process.

The raven pointed its beak insistently at the display. Taako couldn’t tell what exactly it was pointing at, but that hardly mattered anyway.

“Sorry, my man. You missed the feeding frenzy like a minute ago,” he shrugged, not sorry in the slightest. The raven only shook its head and ruffled its feathers, pointing again at the counter. Taako looked over at where the beak was pointing and saw the bowl of elderflower macarons.

“Nope. This is a Taako o-ri-gi-nal. Paying customers only.”

He was talking to a bird. A smart bird, but a bird nonetheless. He made a shooing motion with his hand and it seemed to have finally gotten the message. It flew off to leave Taako in relative peace before the morning rush started.

The raven, however, was not deterred. He waited patiently, with puffed up feathers, outside of the door, not quite feeling the cold breeze of the brisk autumn day. He had closed his eyes and nearly drifted off when he heard the telltale ‘ding!’ of the bell over the door being rung. Someone was going inside. Seizing the opportunity, the raven hopped up and walked in before the door slammed shut. Too short to be within line of sight, he walked over to the back room, making sure his talons didn’t clack too loudly against the tile.

Inside, he saw the elf from before. He looked engrossed in his baking. He was kneading dough for some confection when a kitchen timer went off. The raven clambered underneath a table and tried to hide in the shadows. Taako didn’t seem to notice him, though, and went over to the oven to pull out a tray of cinnamon rolls. The smell of fresh cinnamon wafted through the room, spurring the raven into action.

The raven flew out from under the table directly at Taako. He flared out his wings and yelled, mimicking the elf’s voice. “TAAKO O-RI-GI-NAL!”

Taako jumped with a yelp and fumbled the tray. A few cinnamon rolls fell before he could right it, though the screaming fucking bird in his kitchen was currently taking priority. The raven swooped down and grabbed a roll before it hit the ground and attempted to fly away. However, this gave Taako an opportunity to attack. He put the tray down and grabbed the bird’s leg. It flapped uselessly in his hand, clutching its stolen prize for dear life.

“What the fuck!” he yelled.

A few seconds later, Lup burst in with her wand at the ready. The confused and somewhat frightened expressions of the customers were visible for the few seconds the door was open. Lup looked around the room, seemingly searching for another person. Her worried expression turned deadpan when she saw her brother holding a bird that was awkwardly trying to free its leg.

“Goddamn it Taako, it sounded like you were being murdered in here.”

“Worse!” He pointed the raven at her. “This is what happens when you feed the birds, Lup.”

The raven had certainly found itself in a sticky situation. He could already feel the effects of the polymorph spell wearing off. He threw his head back, trying to eat the cinnamon roll before he turned back. Unfortunately he couldn’t even have that. Taako grabbed the part of the roll that was still hanging out of his beak and threw it out.

“Just toss it out the back door. And wash your hands, you don’t know where it’s been.” Lup said.

“Oh yeah, says the one who was feeding them the good bread in the first place. What happened to your good birdy boys, huh?” he teased, but walked to the backdoor anyway.

At that point, the raven was relieved. He may not have gotten the whole thing, but just tasting it would suffice. More importantly, he needed to get somewhere private or else the spell would end right in the middle of-

It sucked that it was an instantaneous transformation. Suddenly, instead of Taako holding a mischievous raven with half a cinnamon roll in his mouth, he was holding a grown man with half a cinnamon roll in his mouth. By the leg. The sudden shift in weight caused them both to fall over.

Taako was taken entirely by surprise. And, nope! He did not like that shit one bit. He pushed the man roughly off of him. “What the fuck is your- oh shit you’re actually kinda hot.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Are you hurt? I didn’t- I didn’t think it was going to go like that,” the man said.

“What did you expect to happen?” Lup said, now thoroughly confused.

Taako took the time to study the man as he and Lup argued. Well, it was more Lup arguing and him apologizing. He had shoulder-length dreads and a tastefully short beard. He was fully gothed out, with a black suit, skull patterned tie, and raven skull earrings. Taako also noticed the barest hint of fangs as he spoke. Fuckin’ nice.

“So, what’s your story? Any reason you, uh, busted into my shop, bird boy?” Taako said, almost certainly interrupting his and Lup’s conversation.

The man regarded Taako for a moment and Taako hoped he was checking him out. He fixed his tousled hair and rolled over onto his side so he could have a good look. Lup rolled her eyes.

“Um, my name is Kravitz and I’m not usually a bird. It’s just… the food here is so good and I don’t have any money-”

“You don’t have any money?” the twins asked in disbelief, gesturing at his immaculate suit.

“What, your sugar daddy’s holding out on you?” Taako asked with a giggle in his voice.

Kravitz frowned. “I don’t- I’m not- I don’t have one of those, so no. My job doesn’t really have a salary?”

Mild disbelief turned into full-fledged suspicion. What the hell was this guy talking about? “What do you even work as?” Lup asked.

Kravitz took note of the fact that she still hadn’t lowered her wand, so he had to choose his words carefully. He couldn’t exactly tell these people he was a reaper for the Raven Queen. If word got out that the literal Grim Reaper uses the powers that his Queen gifted him to get food from a local bakery, his reputation would take a massive hit. Especially since he technically doesn’t need to eat in the first place. Gods, he wanted this moment to be over.

“I work… as a… mortician.” Kravitz cringed at his own answer.

Taako rested his chin in his hand and cocked his head to the side. “Pretty sure they get paid.”

“They get paid more than us, I know that much.”

Kravitz stood. “Look, I’m sorry for the trouble and the mess. I really don’t have any money. I can find something to give you, though.”

He reached into his pockets and felt the jingling of trinkets he had collected on the job, as well as the occasional reward from the Raven Queen. He would hate to give those up, so he only pulled out a pair of earrings and a necklace he found on a previous job. They weren’t his style anyway. The earrings were both gold with sparkling rubies dangling from a chain. The necklace was probably part of that set. It was also gold, but it had several chains of dazzling rubies adorning the front. He preferred to wear cool colors, and this looks good enough to cover the losses.

“Um, is this good?”

Both twins practically ran into him to get a good look. Lup snatched up the earrings while Taako inspected the necklace. Their eyes widened as they appraised the jewelry and gave each other a look. Strings of anxiety knotted up in Kravitz’ chest. He hoped it was enough. He clutched the silver pocket watch his Queen gave him after his last job. There’s no way he’d give this one up.

“Yeah, that just about covers it, my man.” Taako said, putting the necklace on. It didn’t fit with the whole ‘flour-covered apron’ look he had going on, but Taako made it work. Taako always made it work.

Kravitz sighed in relief. “Well, if that’s it, I should probably get going.”

“Hold on a second, there’s still an issue we gotta deal with. Lup, could you uh, check out the customers out front, see how they’re doing?”

Lup looked at him, then Kravitz, then back at him. She sighed and put her wand back in her pocket. “Only because you helped me with Barry.”

Kravitz felt even more nervous with only one twin in the room. Taako eyed him up and down and Kravitz felt the need to stand up straighter under his scrutiny.

“So I take it you’re gonna be back tomorrow, yeah? You thinkin’ of going as a bird again or what?”

Kravitz cleared his throat. “No. I’d like to avoid… all of this from happening again. Thanks for taking my offer, and sorry again for… everything.”

Well damn. This guy was way too sweet. Taako was beginning to feel bad for taking advantage of the guy. What he gave them was way more than enough to cover the three cinnamon rolls he dropped. Lup would probably feed them to the birds anyway. Taako sighed dramatically, prompting Kravitz to cock his head to one side as if he’s trying to figure out if he said something wrong. Damn, he was cute. Taako strode over to the tray of cinnamon rolls and tossed Kravitz one.

“Here, since you like those so much. Look, I’ll be real with you. Since you have like no understanding of money whatsoever, I’ll be nice and let you know that this,” he gestures to the necklace, “is way more expensive than a few cinnamon rolls. Now, I’m deffo keeping it, but I figured since you’re such a hungee boy I’d make you something even better.”

Kravitz’ eyes widened and a barely subdued smile crept onto his face. “Like a chocolate cake?”

At that, Taako sported his own lopsided grin. “Yeah, fuck it. I was gonna go for dinner, too. Make a night of it y’know.”

“Taako, I-” he paused to consider his next words. “Thank you. You really don’t have to do this you know.”

“I know, there is no end to my generosity, is there?” Taako turned and searched the top shelf, pulling out a pen and clicking it a few times before walking over to Kravitz. “You got a phone, homie?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before he started scrawling his number on Kravitz’ palm. “No, but I’ll send a raven.”

Taako paused in his writing and looked up to give him another look of utter confusion and disbelief. He was met with a shit-eating grin. Taako rolled his eyes and continued writing. “You ass.”

Kravitz laughed at his own joke like a dork, and also maybe a little bit at how the pen tickled his hand. “I’ll be sure to bring you something pretty.”

Taako definitely wasn’t opposed to that. His wardrobe needed some upgrades, but he was literally doing this because Kravitz got him something too pretty. Well, that and because he’s hot.

“Just bring your cute face and you’re all set, then. Anyway, text me later, I’ll give you the details, cool?”

“Yeah,” Kravitz said, looking at the number written messily on his hand. “Cool.”

“Alright, it’s a date. Now get out of my kitchen.” Taako said, pushing him out the back door.

Even as he was being shoved out, Kravitz felt a smile, wide and genuine, on his face. That went better than he could’ve ever expected. The back alley he found himself in was a perfectly private place to portal himself back into the Astral Plane. He went to his quarters before his Queen could tease him about the dopey smile that had no plan on leaving his face any time soon. He sat at his desk and added Taako’s contact to his phone. He held the phone to his chest as he swiveled from side to side in his office chair. Then he stopped and slammed his hands on the desk.

“Wait, did he say date?”

[harrison-abbott]

THREE TINY STORIES

 THEN BANGED INTO THE BATHROOM

She came into the flat when I was sleeping at some berserk hour and she knew I didn’t like it when she woke me up and I’d pleaded with her twenty times in the past to be quiet and when I awoke, or if I got jolted awake rather, I found it hard to get back to sleep because my mind has a manic continuous nature which often stays in memories and makes these patterns of thought and imagination and often it gets to bad I just give up and go take the dog or a walk or something … Anyway she was 34 and myself 35. And she still enjoyed going out with her mates and getting drunk and coming back deep in the dark and I didn’t really judge her that much for it because I used to enjoy all that party life myself and of course it was how we first started dating as students. It’s just that these days I found it tricky to keep up with the heavy drinking and so on so I often stayed at home. And then she stumbled, after she’d locked the front door, on the walls and I heard her body lumber down them which obviously meant she was hammered. Then banged into the bathroom. And she flushed the toilet after what must’ve been a very long pee because there were like two hundred seconds in between and then she left the bathroom and slugged back down the hall and very very quietly opened the bedroom door, stupidly not knowing that she’d obviously committed the crime again and she closed the door and I could see her figure in the dark and the only light in the room was from the internet, the lemon and cyan blue lights blinking. She took her coat off. And hung it on the door, and as she rustled I got the smell of smoke and alcohol and stale perfume. And she took off her jeans and I pretended I was asleep and I watched her body and those long legs I was lucky to know. Then she took off her blouse and her bra and she flung her bra away into the corner. And removed the socks and threw them in the same place. And I vaguely captured the contours of her breasts as she crossed to the bed and she sat on the edge of the bed and then undid her pants and then pulled her half of the covers back and moved in. Nestled in. Next to me. And I couldn’t be cross anymore. She didn’t touch me she just lay there, and unlike me she had a superb ability to sleep fast and deadpan.

 DEBT, INTEREST

I was in this horrific mood and had to go to work and I had some financial issues (debt, interest, historical debt) and even that morning the weather was especially miserable and I walked down the road feeling like shit … And, ehh, this neighbour who lived down the street whom I’d still never met in any social sense and didn’t know the name of came walking towards me with his dog. The dog was a tiny thing, a mix of breeds. But aggressive as hell. And it enjoyed barking at me whenever it saw me. I don’t know what its issue was. His or her dilemma – didn’t get why I attracted such animosity from this creature. And I did like dogs and used to own one. Which was far bigger. But yes anyway this dog was this morning off its lead and when it saw me it bolted towards me and began yelling with terrific verve. And the noise jarred my eardrums and I just couldn’t be fucked with it. … The owner – a beefy equally-depressed looking man – never really apologised for his dog’s violence: he only called it away and it usually trotted back to him. But this incident. This time, the dog actually began attacking me. With its claws and its teeth. And the thing was little and I was an animal lover and vegan and as it swiped and bit at me I tried to avoid it but it kept persisting and the owner hadn’t even said anything yet … and the depressing enormity of my life situation just made me snap, and I kicked it. Kicked the dog, just whacked it in the neck, and it squealed and tumbled over and went quiet and then it got up and growled at me, but it stayed there on the concrete and didn’t assail again. On I walked. I looked back at the owner to see his reaction. He was embarrassed, forehead down. That was the end of the fight. I’ll admit in a sadistic sense that I kinda enjoyed it, booting the dog. (Afterwards, when I got the bus stop, I was worried whether the dog was okay and that the owner might call the police or something and have me binned for animal cruelty …) But nothing ever happened again with the neighbour and that grunty dog. I worked out a fair deal with the debt people to pay them back in a gradual way and considering all that was happening across the world with climate madness and so on I learned to be grateful with what I had.

 SUPER CONFIDENT

She goes for this job interview at a corporate office and she’s feeling super confident about it and she has the credentials and the experience and she’d 29 and sexy and she’s also a lesbian. She goes for girls. And she gets to the office building – located in this elite part of the city, all grandiose modern flashy amazing. And greets the receptionist in the main atrium and explains she has the interview and the receptionist tells her to take the elevator up to this floor and she gets inside it and elevates and opens in a new place where the atmosphere immediately turns a little hot, whether she notices it or not. And she meets a new person at a new desk and she smiles and says, yes, your interviewer is just down the corridor in this room, and she goes down the hall and approaches this door and knocks on it and a female voice calls, “Come in?” and she opens the door and there is this horrifically beautiful woman with an enormous bust and comet indent eyes sitting inside there. And when she sees this woman she goes immediately stiff and tense and this big fat explosive blush erupts across her face. And the boss introduces herself and the blush is still there. And suddenly all this confidence vanishes within her and she finds it hard to look at this woman who is perhaps 35 maybe a lil bit older – Christ, Lord, she is glorious, and now she’s sitting in front of her and being asked questions and technically interviewed and she forgets her introduction and her cheeks twitch and her forehead is still hot and her voice tonality is lightened higher and she knows she is failing and she keeps falling and falling and looking up into this far-more-successful human she hates and berates herself and yet the other person, boss, figure, is quite kind to her, and when the interview finishes she is faintly hopeful she might get it, despite her blustery ditsy sexually awkward performance. … She waits two days. Then gets rejected with a mail list email.

[queenevaine]

A ‘Entity-Never-Happened’ AU of my OC @zeka-dbd​ and @sociophobicsaboteur​ ‘s Jake!  I’m a sucker for these two.  

Zeka listened to the car’s radio as she followed the directions on her GPS.  She knew of the place she was heading to; a typically rich and prestigious family needing specific fixes and being uncaring about time or convenience.  

That was how Zeka found herself driving out with her bag of tools, albeit being well paid for her time.  The metal gates were closed, making her double check the time.  She was still early, set to arrive at 8:30 while being there at 8pm.  She looked out of the window at the gates, noting the engraving on either side stating ‘Park Manor’.  

She took a deep breath, parking her car on the side of the road, getting out and testing the gates.  They were well locked, and she debated climbing over the fence.  With her bag over her shoulder, she looked for any sort of bell or buzzer.  She nearly jumped when the gate was unlocked before her, and a man in a suit opened the gate.  

“Miss.. ‘Zeka’, yes?”

She nodded, adjusting the bag on her shoulders.  

“Yes, Zeka Kline.”  

The man nodded, gesturing her to follow.  She followed without another word, walking up the well kept pathway.  She was impressed by its appearance, nearly bumping into the man when he stopped to open a grand wooden door.  She walked in after him, suddenly extremely conscious about tracking in mud.  

“Please be sure to wipe your shoes well.”

A different man spoke up, and Zeka recognized the owner of the voice as the senior Park, standing in a suit next to his wife.  He seemed almost in disbelief, intently staring her down.  

“Am I to believe you are the one to be fixing the issues we are having with our computers?”

Oh boy.  

“Yes, I am.  Is there anything wrong?”

She couldn’t help the tilt of her head as she challenged him.  No one disrespected her like that.  

“Are you sure you’re qualified to fix this problem?  You hardly look professional.”

Zeka adopted a sickeningly sweet smile.  

“I’m very sure, sir.  I can have this problem fixed before midnight.”  

He still seemed skeptical, but instead walked to the door.  

“Very well.  I’ll be out to dinner, and when I return I expect everything to be perfect.”

Zeka nodded, watching the couple walk out the door.  She sighed, taking plastic coverings from her bag and slipping them over her shoes.  She looked to the man who guided her inside.  

“Where is the main computer and modem?”  

“Right this way.”  

She quietly followed behind, marveling at the extravagance of the home’s interior.  She was lead upstairs to a pristine office, a very expensive computer sitting on a fancy desk.  

“If you need anything, you need only ask.”

“I think I’ll be okay, thank you.”

The man nodded and left the room, leaving Zeka to herself.  She took her laptop out and got to work.  

Jake sat in the bathroom, staring down at the small, bloody edge of the blade he pressed against his skin.  Blood poured from his arms, giving some indication that he was still human.  He took shaky breaths as he sat on the tiled floor, head leaning against the wall.  He closed his eyes, fighting back emotions.  

Jake gripped the blade’s handle tightly, freezing when he heard faint singing.  He knew his parents had gone out, there shouldn’t be anyone home that would bother him.  His parents didn’t get home until past 11, and it was still 10:15.  Whoever this person was, their singing voice was beautiful.  

He realized now they were getting closer.  He stood with a jolt, frantically looking around for bandages.  He hissed when he tightly wrapped the bandages from the medicine cabinet, and the fabric made contact with the open cuts.  The voice got clearer, and he could tell now it was a higher pitch voice, and likely a woman.  

“~I will never understand the power you were holding ohh-ho-ver me~!”  

He heard the door swing open, then a loud yelp.  He turned to see a young woman turned away with her face in her hands.  She eventually lowered her heads to cover her cheeks.  

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think there was anyone else here.”  

She turned to face him, and he immediately was taken aback by her beauty.  He stood like a deer in headlights, clearly stunned as she started to take several steps backwards.  

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, I-I can find a different bathroom.”  

“No, it’s fine.  I had no idea there was someone else here.”

She smiled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.  

“I thought I was pretty obvious singing to myself for the past hour.  And, I kinda thought I was here alone and was just going to use the bathroom before leaving.  But really, it’s okay!  Technically I should be going now since my job here is done.”  

Jake’s attention briefly darted to the blood on the floor, then back to her.  

“Your job?”

She nodded, adjusting a bag he now noticed over her shoulder.  She held onto the bag’s strap tightly.  

“Yeah, I came out here to fix some computer issues.  I just finished up.  But uhm, my name is Zeka.”  

“Jake Park.”  

She smiled, reaching out to shake his hand.  He hesitated, looking around to try and find some gloves to slip on.  

“Sorry, I know handshakes aren’t everyone’s thing.  I should get going now, so uh, see you!”  

She quickly turned to leave, leaving Jake dumbfounded.  He shook his head, moving to clean up the blood off the floor.  

Zeka groaned when she got into her car, pressing her forehead against the steering wheel.  God, I’m so fucking dumb.  She leaned back in the seat, rubbing her eyes.  She took a deep breath before recollecting herself and driving home, doing everything she could to avoid thinking about her embarrassment.  

She was relieved to finally be home when she pulled into the driveway, even with the return to her life as Alicia.  She sighed, letting herself in with her keys.  She knew she would have to practice singing for the masquerade party her mother would not stop talking about.  She herself had her outfit already planned out; a slim, golden dress that reached just past the center of her thighs.  Her shoes were a matching gold, high heeled boots that were comprised more accurately of thin straps.  

She hadn’t tried it on before and would have liked it more if she wasn’t being forced to go and perform.  The mask was glittery and stunning with feathers trailing off one side.  The edges were adorned with obviously fake, but still shiny and new gemstones.  It fit with the songbird motif planned for her performance.  She sighed again, putting her things aside and changing for bed.  Her thoughts spun, before settling down after easing her awkward memory of the day.  

Most of Zeka’s days were uneventful up until the day of the party.  It was online classes and work as normal, then practicing at home with her mother.  She kept her range flexible, knowing the songs she might have to sing could change.  It was hardly anything official, no set program of songs, but Zeka knew she’d be expected to sing.  Her mother was a singer professionally (when she wasn’t taking on the role of housewife) and far too good at it for her daughter to go unnoticed.

She sat still in the chair, quiet as her mother brushed her hair and removing curlers one by one.  She was making sure her hair was properly styled.  

“Excited, Ali sweetheart?”

Zeka gave a small smile, hands in her lap.  

“Nervous, mostly.”  

Her mother ran her hand over the soft, curled hair.  

“You have nothing to be scared of, babygirl.  You’re going to be wonderful.  And you are going to look stunning.”  

Zeka smiled again, letting her thoughts wander as her mother continued to style and brush her hair.  

Jake hated wearing a suit.  It was far too stuffy and uncomfortable, worn for the sake of a family that didn’t care about him.  He adjusted the star-patterned mask on his face.  With a deep breath, he walked out of his bedroom and made sure every part of his suit was pristine.  The clock on the wall read 8:30, just half an hour before the main party was to start.  He walked downstairs, silently getting into the limo he knew his parents owned.  He stared out the window at the night sky during the drive to the party.  He didn’t realize they arrived until he heard the door abruptly open.  He quietly followed his parents into the city building repurposed for the night of masquerade.  He already plotted several ways to get out of this event.  

Even with the mask, the intricate details of his suit made his identity obvious as a son of the Park family.  Defeats the purpose of masquerade.  He took the silver bird pin from his pocket and set it over the embroidery when he got inside.  It was already as he expected, and it was just barely past 9pm.  He gave polite smiles to people who walked up to talk to him, more likely because of the clear marks of a rich background.  

He kept catching glimpses of gold, always unable to see who exactly it was.  Each time, he felt his heart skip a beat.  Who was this person?  

He was thankful for the pause of music and tapping of a microphone, saving him from his thoughts and another identical conversation with a different person in a different outfit.  

“I hate to interrupt the festivities, but we have a very special guest today!  The young Alicia Kline is going to grace us with a performance.  I’m sure many of you have heard of her mother, Liana Kline, and only good marks of her daughter’s skill.  Without further ado, miss Alicia Kline!”  

Jake watched the stunning form of Alicia walk up to the microphone on stage in the same golden outfit he kept seeing.  It didn’t take him long to realize she was incredibly uncomfortable.  He also quickly noticed just how beautiful she was under the spotlights, the outfit reminded him of a canary.  She waved to the man on the piano, who started playing in a slow, gradual crescendo.  When she started singing, Jake swore his heart stopped.  

“~Fear not this night, you will not go, astray~!”

I know her voice.  The same voice he had heard weeks ago, by pure accident.  She had introduced herself as Zeka, and for those weeks he wasn’t able to get her out of his mind.  He watched in a stunned daze, the words of her singing piercing through his heart.  

“~And you, can always be strong!  Lift your voice!  With the first light, of dawn~!”  

It was as if behind that golden mask were the omnipotent eyes of a goddess; one that knew every facet of his life up until tonight, and appeared in the form of a mortal to grace him with her presence.  

He fought back tears in his eyes, grateful for the mask he was able to hide behind.  The only sounds he heard were the piano and Zeka’s voice.

“~And, though the night sky’s, filled with black-ness, Fear not, Rise up!  Call out and take my hand~!”  

She reached her hand out to the crowd, but Jake still felt like she was singing to him in particular.  Did everyone feel that way?

“~Dawn’s, just a heartbeat, away~!  Hope’s, just a sunrise, away~!”  

She took a step back, giving a small smile and bow as the piano and orchestra trailed off.  The uproar of applause drowned everything out.  He watched her be delicately lead off the stage, and near instantly be surrounded by endlessly chattering men in suits.  

Zeka wasn’t averse to the attention she was getting, but their closeness to her was starting to get uncomfortable.  She was too polite to decline offers to dance or to walk away from the crowd.  In dances, she let the other lead, as she was terribly inexperienced.  

Jake had to shoulder past several crowds of people to even get close to Zeka.  A defensive surged filled him when he saw a man tightly holding her hand, even as she tried to pull herself away.  

“My dear, won’t you at least humor me with a date?”  

Absolutely not.  

Jake edged his way between them, giving the other man a clear, venomous glare.  ‘Walk away, now’, it warned.  Zeka let out a quiet sigh of relief when he turned to leave without another moment’s hesitation.  

“Thank you so much for that.”  

Tension seemed to ease from her shoulders.  He couldn’t help but smile at her small grin, and at how relaxed and comfortable she sounded in an instant.  

“You don’t need to thank me, Zeka.”  

She blinked in surprise, gasping when she caught sight of the unique color of his eye and realized who was behind the mask.

“Jake?  Is that really you?”

He nodded once, tilting his head slightly in confusion when she laughed.  

“I had no idea, oh my God.  That’s twice now, isn’t it?  But, my name is actually Alicia, though.  Zeka’s just… a nickname I go by sometimes.”  

The hesitation in her voice felt like a knife being twisted into his heart.  

“But you prefer being called Zeka, right?”

She gave a small nod.

“I do, but-”

“Then you’re Zeka, at least to me.”

She grinned with a quick, sweet chuckle.  Jake smiled widely, suddenly entirely unsure when her comfort and happiness had become so important to him.  Just as suddenly, he had an idea.  

“Can I show you something?”

He held his hand out to her, which she took with barely a second of hesitation.  

“Of course.  What are you showing me?”

“That’s a surprise.  Just follow me.”

He led her through the crowd, taking the silver pin off to fully display the embroidered P on his chest.  Security guards simply nodded once to him when he passed and guided Zeka to the grand balcony that proudly granted a view of the night sky, music from the main hall echoing to them.  

Jake gladly watched her expressions of pure joy,  staring in awe at the rare view. 

“This is so amazing.. I’ve never seen the stars so bright.”  

He couldn’t tear his gaze from her as she stared at the sky with wonder.  

“It’s more beautiful than I can even describe.”  

She laughed, tracing patterns between stars with her eyes.  Jake watched, barely nodding.  If only I had the courage to say that to you.  He slowly turned his attention to the sky.  

“Tonight’s one of the best nights for stargazing.”  

She looked over with a wide grin, one that Jake had the sudden desire to protect and ensure she would always smile like that.  When had he fallen so hard for a woman he barely knew?  

“I’ve never really stargazed much.  I’m pretty much a shut-in if I have the choice.  I’m not a huge party person either, but here I am.”  

She shrugged casally, laughing at her own statement.  

“Neither am I.  I never enjoy wearing suits like this.”

She turned her attention back to him quickly.  

“They’re terrible.  I’ll take my robots any day, but.. I don’t have a choice tonight.”

Jake couldn’t help a laugh.  

“I didn’t have a choice either, but..  It’s not so bad.”

Because you’re here.  

She nodded as she looked around.  

“It’s not, but..God, I didn’t think there’d be so many people wanting to talk to me.  It’s exhausting.  I should head back eventually, though..”

Even the slightest hint of distress from her was too much for him.  

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.  I’d.. be happy to stay here with you.”  

Zeka looked to the door.  

“Would that be okay?  I mean, I didn’t even think we were allowed up here.”  

She’s still so concerned about intruding.  He shook his head.  

“No one else should come up here, and I promise it’s fine.”  

She nodded, letting out a breath of relief.  

“Okay, good.  I didn’t wanna trespass by accident.”  

He admired the way she held her hands together.  After a moment’s hesitation, he held a pure white, gloved hand to her.  

“Would you like to dance with me?”  

Zeka turned in surprise, heat rising in her cheeks.  

“I’d love to!  But, I’m not actually that great of a dancer.  I don’t know how to at all.”  

“I can teach you, just follow my lead.”  

He delicately held her hands and guided her steps, enjoying the rare peace of the echoing music and slowly dancing under the bright stars of the night, all the while praying tonight never ended.    

[toonerdyandiknowit]

Hardware

Hardware Part 1.

This is a Tony Stark X Reader, may be NSFW smut in future chapters.

Swear warning.

[Y/N] = your name [YLN] = your last name [H/C] = hair colour [E/C].

Character is written as over 21 but younger than Tony, you can decide how old you imagine her to be.

You're a young English woman hiding out in America after a few embarrassing accidents back home, caused by your powers. With the ability to manipulate any machinery into doing whatever you put your mind to, you would probably get on well with a certain Avenger. If he hadn't helped kidnapped you.

You'd tried really hard to not draw attention to yourself. Really. You kept moving around, never staying still long enough to make an impression. No wild parties, no public shenanigans, no bright clothing. You avoided using your powers, even in private, and just generally laid low.

It had been a year since you’d snuck your way onto a plane that took you from London to America, figuring if you were gonna get lost anywhere, New York was your best bet. You never settled in any particular spot, and you only took the jobs where the cash was handed to you at the end of everyday, and no one gave a shit where you went after. The only thing that stood out about you was your accent, and no matter how you tried, you just couldn't pull of an American accent of any kind.

You couldn't help but become fond of Manhattan though. It was right in the middle of everything, you'd spend the days going from bustling city to calmer parks. Central park almost reminded you of all the woods in England. You'd become so fond that you'd stayed longer than you should, but you were growing more and more comfortable.

You'd even settled in enough to sort an online profile for people to hire you for work; one off hardware repairs meant that you'd get paid straight away, and you'd only have to see the clients once or twice.

The truth was you couldn't name a single computer component, you'd never seen the point in learning. You "gift" meant that machinery did whatever you wanted it to, even if what you wanted was not technically what it was designed to do. You carried a bag of tools, poked, prodded, and pulled things apart, all for show. The reality of it was you could just kind of...tell the machine to sort its shit out and play nice, and it would.

It was as you were passing an alley on your way to your studio flat - or apartment - after your latest job, swinging your bag of three or four tools you couldn't name, that you heard the shouting.

You tried really hard to lay low, but when some ass-holes decide to gang up on and mug a kid, what sort of person would you be to just keep walking?

One who wouldn't be strapped to a table in SHIELD, that's for damn sure.

At least you assumed it was SHIELD, you couldn't remember anything after the taser that caught you in the back. All you knew was one moment you were kicking arse, the next you wake up in a...container. The walls were grey on black, and had the same honeycomb patterns as the surface of the table.

The table itself had a hook running through it, to which you were currently handcuffed.

You tried entertaining yourself by stretching, difficult when you're cuffed to a table, since the hard chair was making you back ache. You then alternated between humming and tapping your fingers on the table.

It didn't take long for you to get irritable, slumping forward to bump your head against the table with an audible thump. Turning your head to the side, you flick your [h/c] hair out of your eyes, glaring at the small camera in the corner.

You could sense it was high tech. Top of the range, if there was a range above top of the range...you'd bet money it was some sort of Stark tech. Either way, you shouldn't be able to see it, but it hummed pleasantly across you tech senses, practically waving a banner at you.

You blew a raspberry at it.

"I don't like games." You called out, sitting back up to raise an eyebrow at the camera, "Arrest me, interview me, lock me up, whatever. But the longer you leave me waiting, the less cooperative I'm gonna be!"

You waited a beat. Two. Then the doors slid open with a gentle hiss.

Three people walked in, and you weren't sure what you were expecting, but it wasn't this.

"Oh shit." You sighed, as Captain America and Iron Man walked in. By their side was a unremarkable looking man in a suit, carrying a folder. You decided to focus on him.

Captain Rogers took the seat opposite you, on your left hand side, while Suit Guy took the one to your right. Stark elected to lean against the wall, tapping away at his phone and looking generally uninterested in the situation.

He was wearing a pair of totally unnecessary red sun glasses, though they went with his outfit; jeans, Metallica shirt and leather jacket.

Captain Rogers was also dressed casually, though his stern face made it seem more threatening; blue shirt, brown jacket and jeans.

You decided this meant you were supposed to pay more attention to Suit Guy. So you straightened and gave him you full attention, before your nerves sharpened your tongue.

"I've been here 8 months," You started, crossing your arms over your chest, "I think I would have noticed if you guys had decided kidnapping was legal."

When no reaction was forthcoming, apart from blank, slightly intimidating stares from the seated men, you threw your hands up. Well, as far as the chains would allow.

"I didn't do anything!" You complained, and that finally got a reaction. Not a great one. And not from who you expected.

From his spot against the wall, Tony Stark scoffed.

"Didn't do anything?" He chided, "You took control of those idiots watches and phones, and pulled some...transformers shit. Now two are in cuffs, and hospital beds, and the third is in a cell." He flicked his phone towards you, pulling up a grainy hologram of you...

"Ok, so I beat up some dickheads who had it coming. Why do you care?" you asked.

"Your powers make you dangerous miss. [YLN]. We need to register them in our database, measure them, and establish some ground rules. Then, we can talk about you going back to your life." This came from Suit Guy, and his steady voice should've been authoritative. Unfortunately, all you heard was condescension.

"Ground rules? Nope." you objected, shaking your head in an over dramatic fashion, "Look. I keep to myself, I don't socialise, I don’t flaunt my powers. Hell, I don't even use them when it's just me in my flat! This was a one off situation. I wasn't gonna just let them mug that kid!" Your argument seemed to fall on deaf ear, until Rogers perked up at the end.

"You saying you wouldn't help, if you could go back?" Unlike Suit Guy, he could pull of authority just fine, and you were so not in the mood for it. It was becoming more and more clear that they had no intention of letting you go, and the panic was rising.

"Don't try to pull that crap on me. I'm not a soldier, vigilante, hero," You paused, eyeing Rogers and Stark, who'd started paying attention to you, "or an avenger. And I have no interest in becoming one."

"We both know that's not true." said Suit Guy, who was slowly morphing into Arsehole in your mind, "Why don't we talk about why you left England?"

Though he wasn't looking at you when he spoke, flicking through a file instead, you decided to respond anyway.

Sort of.

You groaned, slamming your head onto the table again.

"How about we don't?" You muttered bitterly, "Just Wazowski me. "Put that thing back where it came from!"

The only person who seemed to find you funny was Stark, who chuckled as he watched you, spinning his forgotten phone in his hand.

"Let's see," murmured Suit Guy, "Ah. Detonated an un-exploded bomb in the river Thames. Caused a train crash..."

"That was an accident!" You yelped, sitting up.

Rogers raised an eyebrow.

"The bomb wasn't?" he asked.

"Well...not really?" You winced, "It was a mess, someone had to do something, I just happened to be there at the right-ish time." He frowned.

"And the train?" Asked Stark. He'd lost the sunglasses and was smiling at you with amusement.

"Bloody trains." You huffed to yourself, "So, these guys were harassing this little old lady right? And this girl gets up to help, and it just goes from bad to worse. I was just tryna scare them, use the same trick I pulled today. But I kinda...misjudged."

"Misjudged?" He questioned, looking more and more intrigued. You groaned.

"I was new to it! I was aiming for their phones but the train wouldn't shut up, wanted to join in or some shit. Any way, when I told the phones to move, the bloody goddamn train jumped up instead." You told them, hoping they'd drop it. The Train Incident wasn't your finest hour.

"You can see how that makes you dangerous, right? We can't just leave you to wander around unchecked." Stated Rogers, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table, and piercing you with a hard stare.

"One," you pointed a finger at his chest, "You're one to talk about dangerous. Tech manipulation is all I have. And two," You squinted, wiggling your finger between Rogers and Suit Guy, "This is how we get super villains. You can't just abduct people and preach about their powers. I want nothing to do with you, SHIELD, or anyone else who thinks a person with powers is a weapon."

"You sayin' if we don't let you go you'll become a villain?" Rogers asked, his voice hardening as his eyes narrowed. You rolled your eyes, becoming more and more exasperated.

"Nah, I'm not like that. It's just a side note you should consider for the future. Kidnapping, chains, and passive aggression isn't exactly endearing." You explained. The truth was, you just wanted to go home, have a bath, and pretend today didn't happen.

"Ok kid, you got a point. So, show us what you can do." You looked to Stark in surprise, so did Suit Guy and Rogers.

"What?" The three of you chorused in shock. "Mr. Stark..." Suit Guy started.

"Hey, I've been waving my phone around this whole time and she hasn't done a thing with it," he pointed my way with a smile, "either it just didn't occur to her to try attacking us to escape - which is a plus in my book - or she can't do it, in which case we got the wrong girl, but since she already admitted she was...ah!" His prattling was cut off abruptly as his phone crawled up his arm and jumped onto the table.

You'd grown tired of the sound of his voice, and turned his phone into a "Spider". A "Spider" was your go-to tech choice, manipulating cogs and gears and whatever else is in there into becoming legs that sprouted out the sides. Once it made it to you, you asked it to undo the cuffs, then turn back into a normal phone.

The three men stared at the phone with distrust, as you stood, rubbing your wrists and hissing.

Stark was the first to look at you, frowning in concern as his eyes flicked between your face and your hands.

"Oh, they don't hurt. I've just seen it happen so many times in the movies, kinda felt like I had to." You smiled sheepishly, stuffing your hands into your hoodie pockets.

"So..." you hummed, "Now what?"

[sky-girls]

Gift card

this is obviously au cause I don’t know a canon and also there’s no ikea in argentina but mostly this is a birthday gift for the sweetest person ever @lifesruiner Happy birthday pili!  you deserve the best and nothing less and I hope this is at least little bit close

She doesn’t know if she’s panicking or if she is happy, maybe a healthy dose of both mixed together, or maybe this weird feeling on the pit of her stomach is just nasua she is not sure. Anything and everything seems possible now.

She sits herself on the bathroom floor, crossed legged, stunned at the two lines in front of her, they are a soft pink and yet they feel like neon signs hanging on the bathroom telling her how her life is about to give a 180 turn. She hears Matteo’s voice announcing that he’s home and she quickly gets rid if the test,throwing the stick into the trash and hiding the box on her make up bag so Matteo doesn’t come across it by accident,she wants to tell him, of course but she needs to be completely sure this is true, damn Matteo himself will want to be completely sure, so there’s has to be medical testing involved.

“Love?” Matteo calls and Luna leaves the bathroom.

“I’m here.” She says smiling when she opens the door, despite the fact that she feels like her whole world has been shaken up she thinks she is doing a great job at being casual.

“Are you okay?” Or maybe she’s not.

“Yeah, this thesis is killing me.” She shrugs. “Just that.”

“Come here.” He says with a smirk pulling her closer to his body, she puts her arms around his neck kissing him shortly. “Don’t worry, grad school is worse.”

She bites her lower lip, if that test is right she won’t be able to go to grad school for a while but she  can still do some research for work here and write papers.

“That’s not reassuring at all.” She says and he leans in to give her a slow soft kiss.

“I’m not here to reassure you.” He says pulling away and dropping his backpack on the bed. “I’m here to show you the harsh reality.”

“That’s not nice.” She pouts sitting on the bed. “Aren’t you like supposed to convince people that learning is good and keep them in the path of enlightenment  or some shit?”

A weird part of her brain scolds her for saying the word shit but most of it reminds it that the baby probably doesn’t even have ears yet. The baby such a weird thing to think, there’s something inside her, something that  one day will be a full human being. Wow, just wow.

She feels like if she focus hard enough she will feel them there, feel this new life growing inside her, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

“That’s still not really official.” He says with a smirk making her roll her eyes and let herself fall back into the bad.

“But you have the title and there’s just a few more months until you get the actual job.” She says looking at the ceiling, in a few months they will both be mostly settled, they will both have their titles, they will both be working, the only thing making this perfect picture uncomplete is the fact that they’re not married but they are engaged, been for a long time now and it’s not even like it matters, they love each other, what else do they really need?

“If you are not here to reassure me then why are you even here?” She asks when he doesn’t answer, she hears the rustle of clothes being discarded and when he comes to hover over her he is not wearing a shirt, the tattoo on his arm are as always distracting and she starts softly tracing its pattern with her fingers making him smile.

“To feed you of course.” Matteo tells her and she smiles up at him, tangling their fingers together and pulling him to lay next to her, he chuckles but lets her do it.

“Are you cooking today?” She asks turning to him and he sighs.

“Actually I’m too tired to cook but I will pay for the delivery.” He tells her and she laughs. “Whatever you want.”

“I want cheap pizza.” She says with a teasing tone and he grimaces. “The one you get from fast food places and has more grease than cheese and it’s so disgusting and unhealthy is delicious.”

“Not that, little lady. “He flicks her nose. “I thought I had thought you well.”

“You didn’t apparently.” She giggles , focusing on tracing the lines of his arm tattoo.

“Why do you eat this kinda crap?” He laughs. “We can perfectly pay for good shit and yet you want to buy this?”

“I’m sorry I don’t have my life as together as you, mister adult.” She pouts and he catches her lower lip with his lips for a short kiss.

“You are an adult too.” He says brushing some hair off her face.

“Yeah but you are like five years older adult.” Luna says. “You are an adult adult, I’m not.”

The words come out with more seriousness that she intends but a small panic starts bubbling in her chest. She can barely take care of herself how is she supposed to take care of someone else.

“Lucky you, you have me.” He smile softly and the pressure on Luna’s chest softens a little, no matter what she has Matteo, he will always be there for her and even if that’s not true for some reason he will always be there for this tiny thing growing inside her that’s from both of them.

“I am.” She whispers, taking her hand to caress his cheek softly. “Lucky to have you I mean.”

“Not as lucky as I am to have you.” He says serious, his eyes impossible soft and Luna leans in closer to give him a slow, soft kiss.

“I’m gonna shower.” He says pulling away with a little smile. “Call the delivery and please don’t be too cruel.”

She laughs as he stands up, he watches him walk to the bathroom, her eyes fixed on his muscular back until he closes the door of the bathroom.

“You still have that good italian delivery flyer on your wallet?”She asks loudly and gets a small yes and she hears the shower go off.

She sits up and starts digging through his bag to get his wallet, despite how tidy and organized he is, this is a mess, she finally find she smiles to herself and takes out the flyer and a some cash to pay for the delivery, just as she does she notices a little card peeking behind a credit one, she slides out carefully smiling when she gets to finally see it.

In front of her eyes there’s the ikea family card Gastón gave Matteo almost three years ago, they had been dating for just a few months, they hadn’t even made anything serious out of it it at this most, just tried not to think about the implications of everything they were doing with Matteo being her ta and everything but somehow Gastón had seen how smitten with each other they were, or in his words, how completely whipped Matteo was for her and had given him this as a joke, she still remembers how flustered they had both gotten when they saw, how they had tossed it aside, pretending it was nothing, she still remembers how surprised she was to find out, months later, that Matteo kept it on his wallet. She slides it in the back pocket of her jeans, she might need it.

She’s pacing the apartment, her heart beating against her chest so fast it seems like it’s setting the beat for a carnival, saying she’s not worried would be a lie, she’s worried, anxious terrified and she wants to curl up and make the world slow down but all these feelings are nothing compared with how happy she is, how elated, how excited.

Matteo will be home soon from his class as substitute professor and she doesn’t know how to do this, how to tell him, she has both the ikea card and the blood test results on her hands and she feels like just throwing them on his face and the run to the bed.

She doesn’t know why she feels like this, it’s not like he would react badly at all, the worst case scenario is that he won’t be as excited as she is but still incredibly happy so there’s no logical reason to be worried. She wonders if she can blame the hormones already.

She sighs maybe a little bit of a dramatic turn would be good for this, just a little. She goes to lock for an envelope, sliding the card inside and then folding the test papers as tiny as she can manage, she walks as calmly as possible to the room, leaving them on top of his pillow and sits on the bed to wait.

Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes pass before she hears the keys on the door, she runs to the bathroom, that wasn’t really part of the plan but apparently she just can’t stay put.

“Luna?” He asks.

“In the bathroom.” She yells as answer, she is looking at herself in the mirror, mentally trying to calm herself down but her hands are shaking and breathings is a little hard right now, she hears steps go into the room and takes a deep shaky breath.

“There’s an envelope in pillow.” He lets her know distractedly, probably thinking it’s for her and she just left it there because she’s a mess. Technically he’s not wrong.

“Yeah.” She exclaims as casually as she can. “Open it.”

She takes one last breath before opening the door, he is showing her his back, his expression impossible to see as he opens the envelope careful, she walks closer to him and manages to see how he takes out the card with a frown.

“What?” He mumbles confused looking at her and she bites her lower, looking down.

“There’s something else in there.” She lets him know and he starts digging for the sheet of paper, he takes his time unfolding it and Luna curses herself for letting anxious energy turn it into the smallest square possible. He’s finally done, his eyes skipping through the letters.

When she looks up his face is expressionless and Luna panics, she truly panics. He doesn’t look happy at all and this was something she never even considered would happen, she’s not ready for this outcome, so not ready. She can feel tears starting to form in her eyes when Matteo’s clear, overjoyed laugh fills the room. His blank expression has been replaced by the biggest smile she has ever seen, his brown eyes filled his tears of his own.

“We are gonna be parents.” He whispers so softly that even when she’s standing next to him Luna has troubles catching it.

“We are gonna be parents.” He repeats loudly, he goes to hugs but stops midway, his arms flailing around her body like they can’t decide where to touch her, where to hold her, like he wants to pull her closer but at the same time keep her at arms length so he can see her no matter what. The way he’s looking at her right now takes her breath away, like she’s the most precious thing in the whole universe, like nothing could ever compare to her. His had finally settles on resting against her stomach as he kneels down to be at the same height of it.

“We are gonna be parents.” He repeats and Luna can only nod as some happy tears start going down her cheeks.

The second times it’s infinitely easier even if it involves a four year old. Aurora is quietly sitting next to her, painting and humming some song her dad sings to her while Luna finishes  wrapping the present.

“Mommy.” Rory calls and Luna just hums, making sure the bow is perfect. “Are you gonna tell me why we are giving daddy a present when it’s not his birthday or christmas or father’s day or…?”

“You don’t need a special occasion to give someone you love a gift, baby.” She says smiling to her daughter who just nods, her pretty dark curls bouncing around her face.

“I know that.” She tells her biting the tip of her crayon and making a disgusted face when she realizes it tastes awful. “But this feels like an special occasion.”

“Well it is.” Luna admit and Rory lights up completely with the same ‘I knew it’ smile her father has.

“Why is it?” She asks and Luna stands up taking the gift box and giving it to Aurora as she kneels in front of her.

“Why don’t you go give daddy this and find out?” She asks handing her the box, it looks much bigger in her tiny little hands.

“Me?” Rory asks surprised and Luna just nods. “Come on, daddy is on our room.”

Rory nods solemnly and hugs the box against her body before she runs towards the room.She follows her calmly , knowing well that no matter how fast she runs her short legs won’t take her much further than her own. When she gets to their room Aurora is just calling Matteo’s attention.

“Yeah, princess?” He asks looking up from the tests he’s been grading.

“Mommy wants me to give you this.” Rory says crawling up to the bed and giving the box to Matteo and settling on his lap. Matteo takes the box looking at her suspicious, she just nods and he nods back, softly lifting the top of the small box. Both him and Aurora are disappointed to find a smaller box inside, Matteo looks at her and she just smile encouragingly, he opens this box and finds an envelope, Aurora  pouts at this but Matteo is completely focused on this, opening the envelope slowly, she doesn’t know if he already caught and just wants to make sure but he looks like it. She nevers gives him letters anyway, so that can’t be it.

He takes out the card with shaky hands, the same frayed and old family ikea card she gave him about six years ago and looks at her surprised, she feels how her lips curve in a smile.

“Really?” He just asks, his voice slightly high pitched because of the excitement.

“Really.” She just say, biting her lower lip, resting her hand on her stomach. His smiles grows impossibly big as his eyes start shining with tears and something more that makes her feel warm.

“Really what?” Rory asks. “What is this? What does it mean?”

“It means, little princess.” Luna says crawling into the bed with them. “That you will have a little brother or sister.”

“I will have a sister!” She exclaims with a giggle. “Where is her right now? Where will I get to meet her.”

“Right now, they are in mommy’s tummy.” Matteo explains.

“Mommy’s tummy?” Rory asks, examining Luna as carefully as she can manage, she moves closer to her and rest a tiny little hand on her stomach. “It doesn’t look like that.”

“I know it doesn’t.” Luna tells her. “But it’s there growing and growing until they become a full person and can come out.”

“And when will that be?” She asks eyes wide with excitement.

“In about nine months.” Matteo says softly and Aurora pouts crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t wanna wait nine months, that’s like…forever.” Rory complains. “I wanna meet my little sister right now.”

“How you even know it will be a sister?” Luna giggles. “It could be a brother.”

“No, no, no, it’s a sister.” She exclaims pointing at her chest. “I feel it right here.”

[z5061241]

Something Awesome Week 7: The tides hath turned

So this is probably the final week where I will purely be doing information gathering, next week I will be putting together all the information found into a nice, easy to view profile of Andrew.

Since last week was a bit of a flop, I re-checked the Tracelab’s OSINT criteria (here) and I found that it’s valuable to find out employer, family, and any vehicle information. Up until now, I had only been focusing on Andrew himself. The site reminded me that, when building a detailed profile, you need to consider more than just personal information, the context of work/family is important too because they can provide opportunities for exploitation. 

Thus, the goals for this week are: 

Gather more detail on the employers (maybe limit to only the past 2 for relevance). 

Find relatives, but no stalking them. Just basic name and social media profile link if found. 

Current Vehicle Information. 

Employer Deep Dive

Finding PwC’s information was easy as expected. Just Google and Glassdoor.

Name: PricewaterhouseCoopers

Business: Consultancy

Website: https://www.pwc.com.au/

Address: One International Towers, Watermans Quay, Barangaroo NSW 2000

Phone: (02) 8266 0000

Social Media (Australian Accounts): Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Youtube

Manager at the time: Unknown

Estimated Salary at the time: $28-$32/hr

I decided to add two more fields (Manager, Salary) because I think for an attacker this information is important. The Manager provides an authority which can be exploited via social engineering and knowing the Salary allows you to piece together an idea of the target’s financial situation. In intelligence gathering, if you need to sway a target onto your side it’s common to bribe them - but how much is enough? This is why it’s important to have an idea of how much the target earns so you can use this information to your advantage.

Next up was Tutor Doctor. 

Name: Tutor Doctor (Tutoring Franchise)

Business: Private Tutoring

Website: https://www.tutordoctor.com.au/, https://northshore.tutor-doctor.com.au/ 

Address: None (Tutoring is done in students home, possible no address at all)

Phone: 0490 177 441

Social Media: Facebook

Manager at the time: Hugh Moore

Phone: 0490 177 441, Email: hmoore@tutordoctor.com.au

Social Media: LinkedIn (with public photo), Facebook

Estimated Salary at the time: $25-$27/hr

I quickly found that there are actually multiple ‘regions’ the brand is split up in and each seems to run independently. Luckily I found contact details for each region on the website and it was clear that each region was run by 1 person with a listed mobile number and website. 

I used the fact that Andrew went to Barker to narrow down the regions to either Hornsby or North Shore. This is where I ran into a dead-end, I didn’t know how to verify which one Andrew worked in. I decided to call the mobile numbers and act as though I’m an enquiring parent who has been recommended Andrew specifically; one of them will have Andrew in their system. I called Hornsby first since Barker college is in Hornsby however the person didn’t pick up, so I tried Hugh Moore in North Shoore (forgive the pun, it's late). Hugh didn’t even have to use any system, he remembered Andrew (from like years ago...must have been a fine tutor).  SideNote: I realize that this is probably going too far for OSINT and walking the lines of Social Engineering (which I wasn’t cleared to do) but my aims were not to get Hugh to give me Andrew’s confidential, personal details such as an email/phone number. If I’ve crossed the line here, I understand if I dock marks for it - sorry :(. SideNote 2: This did give me an idea of how I would use social engineering (if I was meant to/cleared to) to get personal information. I would call up acting like a technical recruiting manager from a tech company with an obscure name (the types that you forget after a couple of minutes). I would claim that Andrew is applying for a job at the said obscure company and he has listed Hugh as a Referee. After the chit chat of getting his referral, I would ask Hugh if had Andrew’s number or email address - “He definitely seems like a very promising candidate and I’d be happy to progress his application forward with your referral. Um actually, for the next stage, I need to call him to organise the best time for an interview however I think he’s forgotten to put his number on his CV. I was wondering if you had a phone number for him? “ Why would this work? 

People want to help people they know (Hugh would want to help Andrew land this job)

A phone number is not really personal information to a recruiter, might not sound any mental alarm bells 

People operate in patterns: For the duration of the call, I would be asking questions (about Andrew’s personality, work ethic - things that are personal to his character) and Hugh would be answering. When I slip in the question about getting a phone number, Hugh might not think twice about it at this point. Especially if I've built good rapport with him thus far and sold him the recruiter story.   

Feels almost evil to think of such things. So let's get back to proper OSINT :D :D. 

Family + Relatives

In the past, I’ve seen mentions of a Glen R Carmichael in the UNSW Deans list under CSE. It seems very likely that this is a brother. When looking him up I found he had an ABN, his facebook was private and he too was on the HSC Distinguished Achievers list. Unfortunately, this is where I uncovered something that didn’t match my hypothesis. Glen R Carmichael went to Covenant Christian School not Barker College. Weirdly, I couldn’t find a LinkedIn profile, so I couldn’t try and use that to find more similarities between him and Andrew.  For now, I’m going to put him down as a possible relative/cousin. Vehicle 

Trying to find Glen’s information took some time so instead of trying to find more people in Andrew’s family, I decided to move on to trying to find some vehicle information.  I read an article a few months ago about a man who created an ML project to look up car registrations in Victoria in real-time. Surely, I could do the same in NSW and maybe I could look up driver information too? Turns out you can search for vehicle registration’s via the number plate, but there’s no way of finding out who owns the car, or searching up drivers and then getting cars. Makes sense, it is kinda personal and only the po po should have access to that info.  Ideally, if Andrew had a public facebook profile there may be a post of him showing off his shiny new red P’s (as so many Millenials do). Usually, these posts will include the car (and most of the time the number plate too!).  A registration check gives you the following information: 

Model

Make (inc. year)

Colour

Weight

Registration Expiry 

CTP (insurer details)

Any concessions listed

You can also get a vehicle history report for $22. Since I don’t have any photos of his car or knowledge of any immediate family, I’m pretty sure its rather impossible to find any information on any vehicles he drives. All the resources under osintframework.com or the bellingcat doc are either only useful in the US or not related to what I’m trying to find. Facebook Events & Photos I had a brainwave one day while walking out of my thesis meeting and checking a facebook event I was invited to. Facebook events allow you to view the guest list if the event isn’t private, so even though I can’t see Andrew’s events via his profile, I can try and find events he has been to/going to go to and check the guest list! This is actually not a bad idea, because he is the Wellbeing head at UNSW SecSoc and in my past experience of societies, the exec committee usually come to the events.  On the Events of SecSoc page, I checked all the events since April and found that Andrew has been to 3 events of which he has actually hosted one event! 

On the sidebar I noticed the photos tab. After going through all the photos (not that many anyway) I actually managed to find a few photos of Andrew at those events! 

AWWW YEAAAA :partyparrot: 

What’s interesting is that Andrew isn’t tagged in any of these photos, but by knowing enough information about him I was able to place him at these events (OSINT is legit y’all). 

What’s more, I would like to explain the significance of the second photo. Something I learned from the first phase of research is that photos of personal tech and devices are very valuable. Even though the photo may not be clear, this photo combined with one in the album which exposes part of the keyboard is enough for attackers to identify which model laptop Andrew owns. This opens him up to all the vulnerabilities and exploits this model has. It also gives attackers an idea of the computing power Andrew has access to on a daily basis. BINGOOOO :P 

What’s the impact of having this data?

Employer Details: Gives an attacker more context on the target and opens up the attack surface. Finding people the target worked with creates opportunities for social engineering and more social media profiles to analyse. Knowing the position and company also provides an idea of the kind of financial income the target may have and whether or not that is exploitable. 

Family/Relatives: Very similar to the above when it comes to social engineering and social media. OSINT professional’s have a term for family members who post their entire lives (and yours) on social media: Chatterboxes. 

Vehicle: Even though I didn’t find Andrew’s vehicle, having such information is very useful. It can be used for many things such as, confirming that the target was in a location by finding their vehicle there, knowing whether rego has expired or not, etc

Events & Photos: The events and photos show where the target has been, what they are interested in and where they like to go. Using this information, I can say with some confidence that Andrew will go to a UNSW SecSoc event at the end of the term once his thesis and other course requirements are cleared. 

Note on Time Management

This week I managed to complete all my usual work by Tuesday night/Wednesday mid-day (counting time for tutorial). This was huge because It allowed me to dedicate a lot more time to this week’s something awesome and honestly, without it I probably would’ve run out of time and not found the facebook events and photos. Definitely going to run with a schedule like this next term :D 

[topmixtrends]

WELCOME TO the House of Pain. As I greet you, I’m suffering from various not-quite-self-inflicted wounds. There are small punctures in my shins and thighs where I’ve been pierced by the pointed ends of agave leaves. There are a couple of inflamed patches on my forearms where I splashed some sap on myself while trimming a euphorbia. There are opuntia spines in my hands and also, I’m sure, in my clothes, which I will only discover as they gradually work their way into my flesh.

Yes, I have been working in the Garden of Pain, which surrounds the house, what I usually refer to as a cactus garden, though in fact it contains as many succulents as it does cacti, and of course a few plants that are neither. Botanists differ, but the current consensus is that all cacti are succulents but by no means are all succulents cacti. This is only a small help, and the layman — which I most certainly am — can have a hell of a job telling what’s a true cactus and what isn’t. (Clue: It’s largely about the areoles.)

More correctly, I suppose I should say I have a xerophile garden. Xerophile: From the Greek, xeros meaning dry and philos meaning loving. (The term refers not to people who love these plants but to the plants themselves, which love dryness.) My own interest in xerophiles started when I moved to Los Angeles, partly because I took seriously all those warnings about the evils or watering your own backyard in a time of drought and partly because, as a deracinated Englishman, a xerophile garden was about as far away from the traditional English garden as I could imagine. But chiefly I got hooked because there’s something so compelling about living things that have so thoroughly adapted to hostile environments, and because xerophiles look so beautifully strange and strangely beautiful.

When word gets around that you’re a cactus (and xerophile) enthusiast people have a tendency to give you cactus-related items of varying degrees of kitschiness. And so in the House of Pain you’ll find T-shirts, tea towels, socks, and hats, all bearing images of cacti. There are cactus-shaped coasters, cactus-shaped margarita glasses, and a cactus-shaped bottle opener. Nobody, as yet, has offered me anything from Cartier’s “Cactus de Cartier” range, perhaps because the basic bracelet goes for about $30,000, but it’s early days.

Of course I have books, a shelf that includes Edward Abbey’s Cactus Country from the Time Life “American Wilderness” series; What Kinda Cactus Izzat?, a cartoon “who’s who of desert plants” by Reg Manning; the photographer Lee Friedlander’s The Desert Seen; and for the title alone (though the jacket’s pretty amazing too) Naked in a Cactus Garden by Jesse L. Lasky Jr., “a novel of Hollywood” in which “character after character is stripped of every pretense.” I’m also very fond of an essay titled “Cactus Teaching” by Michael Crichton (yes, that Michael Crichton) in which he goes to seek enlightenment at a meditation conference in the desert. He’s told to find a rock or plant that “speaks” to him, and after much searching and soul-searching he finds a small, unspectacular, damaged cactus in the garden of the institute where the conference is taking place. “The cactus had equanimity; ants ran over its surface, and it didn’t seem to mind,” Crichton writes. “It was certainly very attractive, with red thorns and a green body; bees were attracted to it. The cactus had a formal aspect; its pattern of thorns gave it almost a herringbone look. This was an Ivy League cactus. I saw it as dignified, silent, stoic, and out of place.”

If all this might make you think that I’m obsessed with xerophiles, my response would be to proffer a copy of Xerophile: Cactus Photographs from Expeditions of the Obsessed and say, “You think I’m obsessed — get a load of this.” No author is named on the jacket or the title page, but we in the L.A. xerophile community know that it’s the effort of Jeff Kaplon, Max Martin, and Carlos Morera, the guys who run Cactus Store in Echo Park. Xerophile is an extraordinary book, a singular and single-minded volume. It contains 300 pages of photographs, preceded by a three-page preface and rounded off with a 30-page section containing interviews with eight xerophile enthusiasts (xerophile-philes?): not people like me, but the kind who go on expeditions that require being dropped in by helicopter. There’s also a short appendix on relevant topics that includes “off-roading,” “mirage,” and “oblivion.”

But, really, it’s all about the photographs, taken over a period of some 70 years, of xerophiles glimpsed in situ around the world. A few are in the United States, but the majority are from Mexico and South America, along with outliers from such gloriously “far away places” as Somalia, the Galápagos Islands, Madagascar, and Namibia. Twenty-five named photographers are credited, although one or two images are captioned “photographer unknown,” and in some cases the date isn’t known either. This might create some irritation for the more academic reader, and I think that kind of reader is going to be irritated by other parts of the book too. As far as I can see there’s no obvious, overarching organizing principle at work in the arrangement and selection of photographs — it’s simply what’s in the Cactus Store’s archive — and yet I can’t say that I particularly minded. The overall effect is more celebratory than scholarly, and that’s fine by me.

Xerophile is somewhere between a coffee-table book and a slightly chaotic field guide. I know from extensive personal experience that it’s very easy to take dull pictures of cacti. And although some of the pictures in the book are incredibly dramatic, very few have the gloss and stylishness of professional photographs. The preface describes the images as “evidence.” A few are a bit blurry, either because of faltering focus or because of the low quality of the camera and lens, but this somehow only adds to the sense of authenticity. When you’re halfway up a mountain in Chile you may not have time for sophisticated and considered aesthetic choices. We’re not in National Geographic territory here. The plants are the stars, and the photographers are the adoring fans, perhaps in some cases the paparazzi, snapping what they can on the fly.

The fact is you can forgive quite a lot of technical and compositional failings in order to see things you’ve never seen before, like an Adenium in Namibia that looks like a long-dead tree but is bearing extraordinary white flowers at the tips of its branches. Or Peruvian Haageocereus plants growing in a foggy habitat and consequently covered in bright yellow lichen. Or cacti growing out of rock faces, poking up through broad stretches of sand or lava fields.

Human beings appear in some of the photographs. At the very least this is useful to give a sense of scale. We all know that cacti grow to spectacular heights, but when we see a picture that shows a full grown man looking utterly insignificant at the base of a 70-foot-tall Pachycereus pringlei, the sense of surprise and amazement is brought home with incredible force. Other pictures show botanists at work in the field, usually but not always in the desert, taking measurements or collecting seeds. One of my favorite photographs, dated 1952, shows George Lindsay, former director of the California Academy of Science, standing next to a Ferocactus that’s a good head taller than he is and much wider in girth. He’s khaki-clad, wearing sunglasses and a solar topee, has a camera and light meter slung around his neck, and he’s smoking a fat cigar. One’s sense of nostalgia (today’s desert rats just don’t look anything like that), along with the inevitable phallic resonance of a certain kind of cactus, are elegantly and wittily confirmed.

The most tantalizing, and to some extent frustrating, part of the book is the section of interviews with xerophile obsessives, frustrating only in the sense that it leaves you wanting much more. In there you’ll find tales of near-death experience from Joël Lodé, who suffered severe heatstroke on his first trip to the Mojave desert in 1984, and survived to risk his life in much the same way in New Mexico and Baja. He also went to Yemen at the height of the civil war to “photograph a plant.” I’m not sure what kind of plant that was, but I hope it was the Euphorbia abdelkuri discussed in a different interview with John Jacob Lavranos who hitched a ride with the British navy, across pirate-infested waters, to the island of Abd al-Kuri in 1967. (It’s part of Yemen, but closer to Somalia, hence the pirates.) Lavranos says that seeing the Euphorbia abdelkuri “was one of the highlights of my life. I’ll never forget it — coming up over the mountain and seeing those tall green candles, which, of course were Euphorbias that were centuries old.” Asked if he collected plants on the trip he replies, “Yes, of course. Every single Euphorbia abdelkuri in circulation came from that trip.” A little research reveals that they’re now extremely rare, both in collections and on the island.

Others are less interested in collecting than taxonomy, a fascinating and ultimately mind-boggling field that increasingly relies on molecular analysis. There’s an interview with a married couple, both botanists, named Giovanna Anceschi and Alberto Magli who say they have no desire for possession. Magli says,

For me, there’s nothing further from nature than a greenhouse. People put plants next to each other that would never, ever be seen together in nature. That’s fine for a fan. But not for a researcher, and I would venture to say that it’s part of the reason people continue to have confused ideas about the taxonomy of these plants.

The old wisdom was that there were about 175 genera and 2,000 species of cacti but the current thinking is that many of these are the same basic plant, achieving different forms because of different environments. Most of us amateurs would indeed welcome some clarification on the subject, and advice on how to identify obscure genera and species (the people who work in nurseries are seldom much help), but this pair really don’t put your mind at rest: “We eventually realized that many of the species you see in books don’t exist.”

If you want more detail, without an absolute guarantee of clarification, may I direct you to the activities of the International Cactaceae Systematics Group, a working party of the International Organization for Succulent Plant Study, which has been contemplating these matters since the mid-1980s? In fact there are many online cactus and succulent websites and groups. Few of them are quite as interesting or as obsessive as Xerophile, though I did come across the website for The Cactus Store which currently lists a Haageocereus tenuis for sale, yours for a cool quarter of a million dollars. They warn gravely, “This is not a statement piece, a collectors item, or a center piece for your garden. This is a critically endangered specimen plant for those familiar with ex-situ conservation who have a proper greenhouse setup.” Even in matters of obsession it’s good to know your limits.

¤

Geoff Nicholson is a contributing editor to the Los Angeles Review of Books. His latest novel is The Miranda.

The post Cactus Love: On “Xerophile: Cactus Photographs from Expeditions of the Obsessed” appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

from Los Angeles Review of Books http://ift.tt/2B9fkFQ

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Grimoire of Zero 2 - 3 | SukaSuka 2 | Royal Tutor 3 - 4 | Kado 3 | Tsukigakirei 3 | Boku no Hero Academia 17

Advance warning for Royal Tutor 4′s commentary: I made a lot of bad jokes about sausages.  (Yeah...sometimes I can be too immature for my own good...)

Grimoire of Zero 2

So…dudes are called witches, too? Never seen that before, but who’s “He” exactly? Thirteen?

“I was a mercenary like you once. Then I took an arrow to the knee.” – Intentional meme insertion sub, or actual translation? Or it was in the original, and they’re playing it straight without knowing that’s a meme at all?  

The thing about fantasy shows is…couldn’t they at least have learnt how to make electricity in quite a few of these fantasy shows, if they have magic and whatnot?

Now all that’s left is to see whether SukaSuka can top this, because Grimoire of Zero has certainly made a good case in order to stay on my watchlist.

Grimoire of Zero 3

“I hate getting sweaty,” says the girl only wearing a dress and a cape/jacket thing. (clearly sarcastic)

Did this get pseudo-ecchi? That one statement makes even less sense than the massage/kiss scene in SukaSuka ep 2! Unfortunately for me though, I laughed at how sudden it was…

Seriously, is Albus a girl or a dude?!

This Formicum reminds me of Magical Otoge Ciel. (By the way, if you like slow meandering fantasies with a dash of romance, then you should try that game.)

Albus is a dude…welp, there’s my answer.

Well, I never. The show pulled a Heine on me.

“Throw that old thing away.”

I raise my eyebrow at exactly what that trader was up to with that jacket…

I think “brother” is in a non-blood sense. Like a “brothers in arms” sort of thing.

Technically, a wolf is from the dog family…

Well, even if this has a slow leisurely plot pace, it’s funny and that’s fine with me.

SukaSuka 2

So they’re all girls? Geesh, this setup looks kinda fishy (but I’ve wandered around enough recs that say this is not a lolicon setup, haha).

I went to some spoilers on this episode, thinking that it wouldn’t harm me too much since I was going to have to watch this episode anyway…well, I learnt about Ithea there.

Pudding? Or crème brulee? Not sure what it is exactly, but I’m rather partial to both myself, haha.

The thing about children, even weapons like these, is that the way to their heart is through food. Like most types of people.

Sometimes I forget this is a light novel (and I think it’s either an eroge or a romance game for dudes), but then I see the title…haha.

Which of these girls is Ren again? Redhead cat girl = Ithea, so I take it Ren is the purple one?

SukaSuka finally shows its true colours. It’s a shame it’s the top contender for putting on hold…

There was a Japanese part of the title, but to translate it along with the English would make the episode title seem like a light novel too. Either that, or the subbers were too lazy…haha. I know your feels, guys. Translating’s a hard job.

Even CGI keys are enough to start making me gripe, y’know.

Wait, so the swords have multiple names? Wasn’t one of them called Percival or something?

Willem isn’t much of a character, but Ithea is. I’m really taking a shine to her personality (in this case, personality < charisma, so do be mindful of that).

Is Kutori meant to be a tsundere? She’s shown shades of it before, but she’s not a severe one. The thing with tsunderes is striking the right balance between “obnoxious” and “endearing”.

If Kutori says “go out with me again”, then I’m slamming this thing on to the drop pile because it’s no better than Masamune-kun’s Revenge initially was.

…That’s close enough to count. I know every girl dreams of having a perfect first kiss, but really…even leprechauns do that? After all the fuss about “expendable lives” they just made?

There was a quote I made up once, and it’s the reason Angel’s Soliloquy exists. “Before I go, I want to make a mark on the world.” It mirrors Kutori’s scene perfectly…

Eeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh, pseudo-ecchi is not quite what I’m in the market for. However, this venenum move is an interesting bait and switch.

Oh right, sometimes I forget “brave” = “hero”, even though it makes sense to think so. Then again, Rokka no Yuusha should’ve gotten me into that headspace. It really hasn’t, has it?

The pseudo-ecchi is what makes this show underperform for me. Even though the show has perfectly logical reasons why it needs to do such things and it has immense potential right now, I think it’s better if I let my feelings about the pseudo-ecchi simmer for a bit.

Heine 3

Ah, the glorious war of sibling rivalry…

These are familiar feelings I’m dwelling in here. As to why…well, what siblings I have, if any, will stay a secret between me, myself and I, okay?

I think that dramatic wind was meant to be…well, dramatic. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work when there was no wind in the room. I’ll forgive it since it’s highly entertaining otherwise…

Sworn to secrecy? Is that a royal tutor thing, or a teacher thing?

“…running will not change things.” – I am painfully aware of that, as the writer of One Wish They Never Wanted.

How do you even spell “numbskull”? Was that a typo in the subs?

Well, it does seem like Leonhard is falling into a common pattern of “I hate the tutor!”, but at least he’s softening up now. (Update: I mentioned on the Boueibu chat that if he’s not “I hate the tutor!”, he’s all “Sachertorte!”.)

Heine 4

Awwwwwwwww no. They went and did it. They named a town Weiner. They’re going to go to the capital, Weiner!!!!!!! *Insert obligatory “Please excuse the interruption” sign here while the blogger laughs their butt off*

…okay, now that I’ve recovered from my laughter, back to the regular program. Don’t go gratuitously naming things in foreign languages if you don’t want to incur laughter (I once named a town “Mawashi” in one of my stories, only to find out a mawashi is a sumo loincloth…) Plus, I randomly skipped to a shot in the OP where the princes look smug as all get out. It’s kinda scary, actually, seeing them smug.

If Princess and the Pauper taught me anything, it’s that royals need to know what the commoners’ lives are like so they can give the people what they need.

Heine is much more stick than carrot when it comes to Leo, if you get my drift.

Nice hat, Leo. (semi-sarcastic) But mmhm *nods*, I like myself a dude in a suit. That’s probably part of the reason I like Kashuu (Touken Ranbu), eh?

The Ring…? *thinks of stringyhaired ghosts* Nah…

Such Genos, such wow, Bruno…

Weiners strike again…actual ones this time. *snickers*

Kasekrainer - apparently it’s a weiner *snickers* with cheese.

“It’s so…vulgar.” Says the one holding a weiner. *snickers*

Oh. I don’t think any show I’ve seen before has pointed out the Kabuki rule (aside from Boueibu, which coined the term). Plus, Licht is pulling an Akoya (see ch 8 of the Seifukubu manga). I always thought he was more Ryuu than Akoya, but now that I think of it, he’s fairly equal parts of both.

The lesson is that it’s the people you were meant to pay attention to, right?

…I was right on the mark! (Fortunately for this show, it’s been enlisted into the taglist for this season and it’s strong enough that I can disregard this one niggle I have with the show. Predictability has killed a show before, y’know – see my take on Divine Gate.)

Get out, Licht! Out of the carriage! (I get at what you’re hinting at, but I take it to be objectifying women.)

Is it Heine’s birthday soon or something?

Exaggerating Heine’s size seems to work in the show’s favour somewhat by giving it something viewers can remember it by. Also, it means they can make tiny Heine plushes for fangirls.

The sweep of the room and CGI’s kind of obvious, but it works well in this case.

Well, it seems I was somewhat on the money for this guess too. Really, predictability’s not much of a niggle for this show, actually – the predictable and non-predictable parts put together actually are the source of its strength, since the viewer goes in, knowing the brothers are intended to be stereotypes. The predictable parts give it a “path that’s been well-trodden” feel, if you get my drift, but it’s executed well and that’s all that matters.

How did Kai manage to keep a bird without suffocating it?

The show’s hit its stride right now, but you can still tell there’s something brewing under the surface – either political intrigue, Heine exploring his past or even both – so I’m willing to keep this show on until it shows its full potential. If that means keeping it on for its entire run of 12 episodes, I’m fine with that.

Kado 3

Gonno (the reporter): unintentional point of hilarity in this show. Does Gonno or his crew even deserve CGI? I guess we’ll find out.

Another point of unintentional hilarity (for me) is when Shindo explains human concepts to Shunina, but at least those make sense plotwise.

Anisotropy. (…by the way, I admit most physics concepts are beyond me - hence the Wikipedia pages.) Those kanji are apparently pronounced ihou, by the way.

The snarls of translation, showing up in a show like this…y’know what? I keep loving this show more and more.

I bet Saraka’s a tsundere…

“The plan is that all passengers will be released in a month.”

Oh, Shunina. Now you’ve gone and done it…You know the implications of introducing something stronger than nuclear tech to the human world? Absolute warfare.

Ooh, man. The stakes just got raised…!

Tsukigakirei 3

I LOLled so hard at Kadoyama, since I think Kadokawa does stuff like that writing contest…

Kagura? Not the one from Gintama, is it?...Nope, it ain’t. Not this time.

Shiatsu? Wuh?...Okay then.

I was just thinking how it’s odd I chose Tsukigakirei over something like SukaSuka, since I used to reject everything that had romance as a major genre in it. I almost got caught up in a romance myself after I started changing my mind on that front, so maybe that’s why I’m now a fan of otome games now…Then again, if there’s one thing I have horrible tolerance for, it’s ecchi and pseudo-ecchi is almost as bad as the real deal.

Notice Akane is in red, while her name means “madder”, which is a type of red.

This N.book runs Windows…? I think so, at least.

Akane has a koi cover. It’s interesting, because most shows I cover don’t involve phones with covers.

There appears to be something on Azuchi Castle behind Kotaro.

There seems to be one shot of the track where the people all look CGI…

I don’t know about athletics much, but why do people need to record the tailwind? Unless it adversely affects the runners, I don’t see why they have to do that.

It was obvious the staff skimped on the budget with that one still shrine scene.

Panaconic, LOL.

I’ve never seen anyone drum on tyres before. Must be taiko practice.

Did I just see a blue Jibanyan in the Macca’s? Well, well. Wonders never cease…

“I’m starving.”

Ike shoes, LOL.

As soon as I saw the glasses guy (the one that teaches Kotaro drumming) look upon the duo (Kotaro and Akane’s) meeting, I was like, “I bet he ships them.” Then again, not everyone’s a shipper, eh?

People online have stated it’s Souseki, not Dazai. Just a tip.

I just wonder…why is it the dude who asks first, all the time? (That’s just a gripe I have, speaking from experience.)

Boku no Hero Academia 17

It’s fine to have a recap once or twice, but this is the third or fourth time…shonen really does have a problem with this stuff, and it’s sadly pretty much built into the genre…

I actually don’t know how to read that kanji (strategy), LOL.

Oh yeah, you’re not meant to smoke on all types of school grounds.

I thought it was Uraraka and Iida right from the start of team-making time. he knows those guys’ Quirks best, so it’s easy for him to make strategies with them.

Huh? Not Iida? What a twist!

Tokoyami, eh? Just what I wanted. (i.e. I said I wanted to see more Tokoyami in the past – not sure if I said it to the Boueibu Skype chat or here – but here he comes!)

Interesting set of moves they’ve made in this episode. It just goes to show you why I keep this at the top of the list – it’s kinda laggy while it gets itself set up, but once it starts rolling, it never stops! Yah! Yah! Fight, Midoriya! Fight, everyone in the cavalry battle!