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onewizardgirl · 2 years

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Ginny and her potions

THE TRAIN

Lily Luna Potter was preparing to leave her home in the potter manor to begin her third year at Hogwarts. She was finishing up stuffing all of her things into her trunk. All her books and sets of robes, her wand neatly tucked away, her potions kit cleaned and replenished, quills, ink, parchment, her lovely siamese cat, Tonks, (named as such because she really wished she’d have met nymphadora, all the time being told that she often shared tonks’ personality), and her firebolt 750. Her dad had bought it for her over the summer, since shes the best seeker ravenclaw has had, much like her father was for gryffindor. Her sapphire blue robes were still warm having come out the laundry less than 15 minutes ago. She struggled slightly but finally got her trunk closed up after using a shrinking charm on her textbooks.

“Lily! Time to go!” Ginny yelled from the bottom of the stairs that led to the second floor where her room along with Albus and James's rooms were.

“One second,” lily yelled down, she took this moment to malke one last trip to the bathroom before leaving for the train station. When she pulled the light grey fabric of her underwear down she saw blood, not a lot, but enough. She was well versed in what this was having had to suffer through the conversation at the age of 8 since apparently her mother’s side of the family tended to be rather early bloomers. But why now? Lily thought, and why on my new underwear?

Lily sighed in frustration, holding her head in her hands as she thought about how to approach her mother about this.

“Lily dear?” Ginny said catching the thirteen year old’s attention

“I’m fine mum,” lily said

“Are you sure dear,” Ginny asked

“I just got my period,” lily blurted

“I’ll be right back,” ginny said, lily knew she was going to get what she needed.

While rummaging through the cupboard in her bathroom trying to find the pads she’d bought to keep for when lily got her first menses.

“Mom! What’s the hold up? I wanna see my friends,” Albus yelled up the stairs

“Not now Albus, we’ll leave soon,” ginny replied, she loved her son but he could be quite impatient sometimes.

“But mum! The train will leave soon we’ll miss it!” albus whined coming upstairs seeing his mother by the bathroom door holding a box .

“Albus severus! We will leave soon, let me help your sister out of her bloody predicament,” ginny snapped.

Albus was quite used to his mother snapping easily, i mean have you seen his grandma? But then the color drained from albus’ cheeks as he realized.

LIly, the ever rough and tumble girl he had grown up torturing and flying with like james did him, was in fact still a female, despite acting more like a brother than a sister. It then dawned on him that being female had issues of it’s own. He then decided that it would be the best idea if he drug his trunk down the stairs, and waited for his mother and sister.

- - - - -

“mum! I’m fine,” Lily grumbled hiding the grimace of pain threatening to wash across her face.

“Sure you are, and I was a deatheater. All i’m saying is that you may wanna take this potion before boarding the train. It helps the cramps,” Ginny told handing lily the tube in her left hand,

Lily begrudgingly grabbed the tube of scarlet liquid and threw it back, noting that it tasted slightly sweet. She immediately felt gentle warmth flood her body easing her cramps.

“Now, don’t you feel better,” ginny teased “go on sweetie, we don’t want you staining your favorite jeans,” she said handing the pad to lily

“Thanks mummy,” lily whispered,

“Anytime sweetie, now, I’ll owl you with all the things you’ll need for the cramp draught once ive made a visit to diagon alley to replenish my supply of ingredients. You’ll need to brew this in moaning myrtle’s bathroom on the second floor, and keep the ingredients hidden away, a few of them are best known for their use in cursed potions and poisons, If you do it correctly the girls in gryffindor will thank you; i should know, afterall they thanked me for inventing it,” Ginny said through the bathroom door that lily disappeared into after downing the potion.

Over the crinkle of plastic ginny heard lily exclaim

“you invented a potion?!”

“Surely did, it was part of auror school, when i thought i wanted to be an auror, truth be told i had invented it in my fourth year, didn’t patent it after the assignment though so i could use it.” ginny told

“But why a period potion mummy,” lily asked.

“ long story…”

—------- 22 years prior—------

“Ginny, can you get harry or ron to bring me my work for the next two days?” hermione asked the ginger as she laid on ginny’s unmade bed inside the dormitory.

“ sure ‘mione. Period again is it?” ginny asked as she tucked her white uniform shirt into her grey skirt before putting on long black gryffindor robes.

“Yes,” hermione sighed before stuffing her face in a pillow and groaning, “I feel the same as dragon dung smells,”

Ginny knew hermione sometimes got bad period pains, about every other month she’d get pains so bad it would leave her bed bound for about two days. Although her good months still gave her bad cramps, these were much more tolerable and they were actually eased by a heating charm unlike her bad months. Her bad pains could hardly be touched by heating charms, and she often had a hot water bottle as well as a heating charm to ease them long enough for her to fall asleep and sleep through the worst of her period.

Ginny hated seeing hermione in such pain, and she hated her own period pains being so uncomfortable. So with her knowledge of potions and enough experience from helping her brothers with their weasley’s wizard wheses business, she started expirementing.

Every day instead of being in the great hall for breakfast lunch and dinner, and any extended period of time she could sneak away from that horrid professor umbridge’s eagle-like stare, she went to the second floor bathroom to continue working on the potion, making sure to cast a muffalito charm just incase she were to make something blow up she wouldn’t be caught. A draught that was specifically used to alleviate period pain and moods. She often times had to owl her brother for extra ingredients, and or some ingredients that were restricted due to rarity or use in poisons. She tested with dragon blood and phoenix tears, some of the most restricted ingredients she’d ever used. She even experimented with the effects of mandrake root, though it was typically used to cure petrified patients she was curious if it would work.

Right before christmas, Ginny had perfected the potion, she wrote down what she did when she made it so she wouldn’t forget, and she ladled a sample into a tube, the liquid inside a scarlet shade of red and smelling of strawberries, she drank it, praying she hadn’t made a poison. And she felt a warmth spread through her limbs, and her period cramps immediately ebbed away, like a rolling wave. The only side effect ginny noticed was a strand of her hair turned the color of the potion, and she had to look for it in her red locks.

She returned to the gryffindor common room and told hermione about her potion and gave the brown haired girl the vile of red liquid. Hermione tossed it back and hopped out of bed crushing ginny in a big bear hug.

“Ginny, you're a genius! Thank you!" Hermione cried into the ginger's shoulder

Other girls came in to see what the braniac 5th year was crying over and hermikne explained the whole process of inventing the potion but didnt tell anyone the recipe.

Soon enough, she was brewing the draught for the entirety of gryffindor. She basically ran a small balck market like her older brothers with their prank sweets, she charged a sickle for a portion of the potion that'd last them the entirety of their period. Occasionally selling one to the stray ravenclaw or hufflepuff, surprisingly she never had a slytherin customer. She guessed it was because they were far too stubborn to ask a gryffindor for pain relief during their monthlies, and she knew a good portion of slytherin who had bad cramps, pansy parkinson being one of them.

—-----------------

"So to put it short, i invented the potion because i hated to see hermione in such pain during her cycle," ginny concluded

"Really?! Auntie Hermione had that bad of cramps? No wonder Rose is always complaining when she gets her period?" Lily said funally emerging from the bathroom.

"Come on albus!" Ginny yelled using her wand to float the two trunks into the boot of the car, Albus climbed in the back with his earbuds,listening to music. Leaving lily and ginny to their conversation

"I doubt rose has cramps as bad as her mother did but yeah, she does have some pretty nasty ones," ginny told

After an hour drive the trio loaded the two trolleys with albus and lily's trunk and cat. Albus with his cat max, lily with tonks.

Albus went through the portal first, then lily followed by ginny. Since they still had half an hour before the train was set to leave Albus made a beeline for Delphi and scorpius. Ginny and lily making their way toward rose and hermione.

"Ginny! How've you been?" Hermione exclaimed wrapping her sister in law in a hug.

"Good, just tied up in harpies chaos,the season starts next week we play the chudley cannons you?" Ginny told

"Good, just trying to keep rose from beating her brother up too much, she whacked him in the ribs yesterday for getting some of her chocolate frogs," Hermione said ruffling her daughter's ginger hair.

"Its his fault mum! He should know by now not to take my chocolate!" Rose argued

"She's got a point, you don't steal chocolate from a weasley, especially not a weasley due for her period, i mean you can ask charlie and ron, they got my chocolate once and i hexed them to hell and back because of it. Mum had to undo some of the jinxes i put on them, and they knew i was due on, they never pulled that one again,"

"Yeah but those weasley boys have a right thick skull, its been what three years, and hugo still hasnt put the pieces together that you dont steal rose's chocolate when shes on her period," hermione said

"Speaking of which, lily got hers right before we left the house today," ginny told.

"Welcome to the club lils," Rose said, giving lily a rough handshake. Hermione wrapped her in a soft embrace and congratulated her.

The train blew its whistle signaling for the students to board and that all the trunks had been stowed,

"Go on now, the train isn't going to wait on you two," hermione said shooing the girls off

When the train finally started to move, Ginny and Hermione waved their kids off, waiting until the train was out of sight, before deciding to head to the burrow for tea with Mrs Weasley.

Deciding that apparating would be the easiest they cast an invisibility charm on their cars and apparated to the front door of the burrow.

Hearing the signature sounds of apparation, molly opened the door of the burrow to see her two daughters.

"Girls! How good to see you," Molly greeted, wrapping her arms around the two women.

Molly let the girls into the house, and started the kettle.

"How've you two been?" Molly asked taking a seat in her rocking chair across from the sofa

"Tied up in harpies business, and trying to keep the boys from ganging up on lily," ginny told

"Those boys, just like their uncles," Molly chuckled, recalling all the times she had to keep fred and george from ganging up on ginny.

"They surely are, but lily acts just like i did, running around trying to hex her brothers for being annoying." Ginny told

"Like mother like daughter," molly chuckled, "how's rose and hugo?"

"Well hugo has a few bruised ribs, because of rose and an argument over some chocolate frogs yesterday, but other than that he's fine. Rose, she's another story. She's been ridiculously moody lately, and her magic has been out of control." Hermione told

"Sounds like rose is going through a major magical gain, i remember both you and ginny getting right moody when you went through one of those," molly told

"That sounds about right, plus she's due on so that might have added to it," hermione said

"Yeah," ginny agreed

Molly let out a laugh

"No wonder she bruised hugo, doesnt hugo know? You never steal chocolate from a weasley thats due for her period," molly said "i mean look at ginny, i had to undo about 20 hexes she put on charlie and ron the week before she went back to school right after the war. Worst part is they knew she was due on and still did it!" Molly told with great enthusiasm

The kettle squeals and molly heads to make tea.

The afternoon continues with a good conversation over tea and a trip to diagon alley to get the ingredients to send to lily and replenish ginny's supply so she could make the potion for herself and hermione.

#auntie ginny #ginny weasley #molly weasley #molly and ginny #women's rights #harry potter #the weasleys #the weasley boys should know better #dont steal chocolate from a weasley on her period #ginny hexed her brothers quite a lot #rose and lily

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soldier-lodbrok · 3 months

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The cub was damn near silent. He knew this terrain well. Though his mother had never been able to teach him how to stalk after prey, Deneh had helped him figure it out through their playful scuffles — pupils dilated, a subtle flex of claws that he was too riled to retract...

And then he pounced!

Like a firebolt from the dark, Nanaki leapt onto Glenn with the equivalent of a kitten's growl, a juvenile sound even to a human's ears. Then the kid placed his hind paws onto the adult male's thigh and spring boarded away with a flip, laughing as he took off in a playful gallop.

"NANAKI!" Bugenhagen yelled after the cub from the distance.

Nanaki REALLY was lucky he was so cute. The little adorable growl was what saved him from Glenn's reflexes taking over and simply kicking the small red creature over the next building.

Because without that Glenn wouldn't have recognized the silent attacker immediately. Still it left him puzzled - the boy was too fast to react to and already darted away with a laugh - after having used him as prop for his stunt!

"The fuck- HEY!"

What the hell, he had almost kicked that child to the moon. And the little shit was none the wiser!

Aerith really needed to tell her friend to be more... survivalistic-interested!Though on the other hand it seemed like Aerith was constantly working towards a horrific accidental death, too. What was it with kids and that?!

Dropping the crate back onto the truck, Glenn took after the little red furball. He couldn't allow the kid to just use him as prop.

"Nanaki! Get back here, I will show you how to do a real backflip, just you wait!"

@finalvii

#finalvii #N A N A K I #VERSE | Fatechanger

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the-whumpening · 4 months

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The Backstory Arc, Part 3

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More context crumbs: A couple weeks after Part 2, the party is gearing up for their next mission. They've secured passage on a ship to head across the map to the far north, where they intend to search for Krumgus' missing parents. Ash and Uma have parted ways, and Evius has entrusted his parents with his son. (I hope Evius doesn't seem like a tool; he's just had to make a lot of tough decisions, and some of that nuance is lost once the story is written down.)

CW: violence (i'd call it mild), mind control magic, blood

As they board the ship, Evius removes his disguise ring, and something catches Ash’s eye. He stops Evius in his tracks, gingerly lifting his arm by the wrist to inspect the new black lines on his skin.

"Do you . . . do you have stripes now, Evvy?" A tiny flicker of panic pops in his brain. "Mine aren’t contagious, are they? I knew I should've covered my sneeze like Kane said . . . "

Evius tenses for a moment at the unexpected touch, chuckling as he relaxes once more. "It's nothing like that, darling. It's a magic tattoo I purchased when we first got into town. They're a bit rare, so it took some time to get made. It's supposed to help protect me from harm a little." He pulls the front of his shirt down just enough to reveal the image of an eye over his heart, from which erupted a web of black lines.

"So it's like . . . magic armor? How do you know if it works? Have you tried it out yet?" As he inspects the eye on Evius' chest, he’s split between curiosity about new, fancy magic and concern for Evvy's safety—and, perhaps, a twinge of yearning at Evius’ exposed skin.

Knitting his brows together, Evius crosses his arms in thought. "You know, that's a very good point, Ash.” He smirks, bumping Ash up the deck with his hip. “My, you're sure coming into those smarts. I hadn’t actually given that much thought yet. I'd hate to hop into a life or death situation without knowing it works. Maybe . . . ” His pointy grin grows into a conspiratorial gleam. “You could help me find out?"

A streak of feral energy ripples through Ash; it’s been so long since he’s had a chance to roughhouse with anyone. And, being in the city, he and Evius haven’t even had a play-hunt in months. "Does that mean we can spar?" His fangs glimmer with saliva at the thought of a good fight. However, he blinks away some of the crazy and composes himself. "There would have to be ground rules, of course. I don't want you getting hurt . . . or to have an unfair advantage." He pouts, knowing Evius' magic is immensely stronger than his own meager spells.

"Oh, don't worry—I'm rather limited here on the ship,” Evius assures him, though Ash remains doubtful. “I can't use anything seriously destructive. No Eldritch Blasts or Firebolts. Tell you what, I'll even hold off on Rays of Frost out of an abundance of caution. However, all my other spells are on the table, deal?" As he lays out his offer, he coils his tail around Ash and winks.

Ash thinks for a second, ignoring the goosebumps rising up his spine. "No flying, either,” he sulks. “It's not fair if you're not on the ground. Same rules as always?”

Evius kicks off his shoes and drops his bag before taking off towards the rear of the ship, tearing his shirt over his head and yelling back towards the half-tiger, "You're on, big man!"

Ash carefully unclasps his cloak and sets it down with the rest of his stuff before rushing after Evius. But, seeing Evius’ slender frame chase away from him, his gut twists anxiously. Is this a bad idea?

At the back of the ship, the two clear some space among barrels and crates of supplies. An awkward energy hangs in the air. Ash doesn't want to be the one to strike first—how could he? This is Evius, after all. As much as he's dying to fight, he and Evius have never had a genuine sparring match like this; he’s always held back. He knows Evius is strong and capable, but . . . he can’t imagine hurting someone he cares about like that.

"It's a lot like dancing, isn't it?" Evius offers with a wry smile upon seeing Ash’s hesitance. He produces a dagger from his hip, juggles it with a flourish, and throws it at Ash.

The knife zips through the air and slices Ash's shoulder before sticking into a crate behind him.

"I'm always the one to lead."

"Shit!" Ash double-takes between the blood dribbling from the slice in his arm and Evius' smirk. "Okay, I guess it's my turn then," he chuckles, a small flush of embarrassment coloring his face.

He rushes toward Evius, aiming to just get one not-too-painful hit in. His fist whiffs past Evius on his first attempt, confused as Evius nimbly swerves out of the way. But as they circle, he tries again—success!

His shoulder collides with Evius' torso, briefly lifting him off the ground. The tiefling slithers out of his grip though, leaving the two still facing off, equally matched.

"You're quicker than I remember," Ash huffs, a little out of breath.

Evius coughs, winded a little from the collision, but otherwise fine. "That all you got, kitty cat? I've taken worse hits from Nalia. Or is it that you can't bring yourself to hurt me?" He taunts, lacing his words with Vicious Mockery.

He lunges forward to slice at Ash with his second dagger, but he is thrown off by Ash's befuddled expression and loses his balance—missing his target and falling prone.

Ash offers a hand to him, pulling him easily to his feet.

"Of course I don't want to hurt you, dummy!" He takes a step back, his brow crinkling in confusion from the spell. He can feel the surge of his rage just starting to bubble up, but he tamps it down for now. Gotta stay cool. Can't get too out of control.

Planting his feet, he gestures for Evius to try again to hit him. It's only fair to let him try again.

"Come on. I can do this all day!"

After dusting himself off and recovering from his embarrassment, Evius chuckles and flicks him on the nose. "You're awfully cute when you're being chivalrous, but don't forget the point of this exercise."

He backflips away from Ash and, as he lands in a nimble crouch, his eyes flash with indigo light. "Come at me with all you've got."

The suggestion crawls through Ash's mind, latching on firmly. Initially, he's a bit confused: With all I've got? What does that mean? But, almost against his will, his muscles flex and bulge, readying for an attack.

"All I've got, Evvy?"

Ash charges, swiping Evius in the ribs with the staff of his spear. He snarls in Evius' face, leaning in nose-to-nose. He's quickly losing his composure, and he can feel the rage almost surfacing.

Evius stumbles back and grunts with the impact of the spear. Through the haze of his foggy mind, Ash can see the panic beginning to rise in Evius. Still, he can’t press the energy down any further—sooner rather than later, it’s going to spill over.

Shouting another spell in Infernal, Evius spins away from Ash, and a silvery mist surrounds him. When the mist dissipates, he is no longer in front of Ash, but up in the rigging, leaning against the wooden mast with his arms folded.

"Hey!” Ash snarls. “I said no flying!" A trail of lightning wraps around Evius' waist, yanking him down to the deck, coming to a stop arms’ length from Ash.

At that, the kettle boils over, and Ash begins to rage. It's not a purely anger-driven rage, but an explosion of emotions he's been stuffing away for who knows how long—anger, fear, frustration, desperation—

"You want all I've got? I'll show you all I've got!" he roars.

Pulled from his perch, Evius is startled but quickly regains his composure. He lands cat-like on the deck and responds, "That wasn't flying, my sweet boy. That was teleporting. Technically within the rules, but I should think you are beyond semantics at the moment."

With a roar, Ash snatches Evius off the ground, a firm grip holding his legs while his chest dangles on Ash's back. Spying a nearby crate, Ash reels back and slams Evius onto it.

Looming over him, the sound of his own pulse thumps in Ash’s ears, but the smell of blood and sweat scintillates his feral brain.

Using Ash’s momentum against him, Evius kicks out and shoves Ash away. He leaps to his feet, crouching with his dagger brandished before him.

Ash deftly recovers, tumbling backwards and landing in a similar prowling lunge.

He pounces forward, his hulking frame smashing into Evius. With one hand, he slams the hand holding the dagger into the deck, forcing him to drop the knife. With the other, he engulfs Evius' throat.

Completely out of control now, he squeezes the sides of his throat, his claws starting to dig in. Whatever reservations he once had about hurting Evius, he can’t remember them now.

Evius grips Ash's wrist with his free hand and croaks out through gritted teeth, "That's really all you've got?"

A growl ripples through Ash's body and slithers out of his gnashed teeth. He presses harder, his claws now firmly sinking into the tender copper skin of Evius' neck.

"You haven't seen anything yet," he hisses.

Beneath him, Evius’ lips grow pale. His sputtering breaths come more and more frantically, until Ash can barely hear them at all. His eyelids flutter over his now-dulling golden eyes, his wispy white lashes beading with panicked tears.

His hand drops. With his little remaining breath, he weakly calls out, “Ash . . . “

As the spell loosens its grip on Ash's mind, the fog of rage also lifts. He can think clearly again, and that allows him to clearly process what's in front of him. His hand, fiercely crushing Evius' throat, and Evius with a glassy-eyed plea beneath him.

As if touching an electric current, Ash jolts backwards, snatching his hands away from Evius' neck. He sits back on the deck, his face contorted in horror. Hot tears stream unrelentingly down his face, and he covers his mouth in anguish.

"Did I—?" he squeaks through his fingers. "H-how . . . Evvy . . . I'm so sorry!"

Gasping and coughing as he sucks in air, Evius shakes his head and sputters out, "No, no—Ash . . . It’s not, not your fault." He hefts himself to his knees and catches his breath.

Once his body has settled again, he scoots closer to Ash, reaching out to hold his panicked face. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm perfectly fine, I promise,” he soothes. “I'm alright, you're alright. Everything is okay. It was my spell that pushed you so far. I think we can safely say the tattoo works, though.”

The driving pull Ash had been feeling the whole fight finally started to make sense. But even so, to know he’s capable of something so terrifying—it rattled Ash. He could see the bruises he left and the drips of blood along Evius’ throat. It nauseated him.

“You used a spell on me? And it . . . it made me do that?” He gestures to the claw marks and bruises, afraid to actually touch them with his fingers. He looks up to Evius with pleading eyes. “Why? I . . . I could’ve—“ he clamps his hand back over his mouth, too horrified to finish that thought.

"There was never any real danger,” Evius assures him. “If I lost consciousness or if you took any damage, the spell would end. You couldn't have killed me, no matter how far it went." Evius chuckles breathily, continuing, "Besides, I wanted to give you a chance to stretch your legs a bit. You've not been able to let loose in. . . well . . . a while. And I did want to know if the barrier tattoo was effective."

“So you commanded me to try to murder you?” The horror begins to subside knowing that the stakes weren’t quite so high, but the hurt remains. “Evvy . . . what the hell were you thinking?! Even if you just passed out, that’s still . . . Ugh!” He groans in frustration, unable to even articulate how baffled he is. Evius has made stupid, impulsive decisions before, but this is a new level.

He takes a couple deep breaths to steady himself, but as he does so, he notices Evius’ expression begin to glaze over. It’s clear to him that Evius is beginning to check out mentally, running away from his feelings as he usually does. But then . . . he’s gotta be scared too, right? Ash realizes. And in pain . . .

Shaking off his residual anger, Ash gets to his feet, gently pulling Evius up with him. “C’mon, you’re hurt. You need to rest.”

Wordlessly, Evius cloaks himself in a veil of invisibility, shaking off Ash's hand in the process.

Ash frowns. “ . . . I know you’re there, Evvy. Just let me help you.” He searches for the faint blue outline he was taught to identify, quickly spotting the slender blur a few paces away. “Please.”

Without waiting for a response, he scoops up the outline of Evius, feeling the invisible weight falling into his arms. He hears a faint “ow” from his chest, and his heart aches with guilt.

"What happens now?" Evius murmurs, as if only to himself.

Ash laughs in spite of his frustration, surprised that Evius said anything at all.

“Well, I’m gonna take you to your room, and make sure you rest and heal.” He ponders for a second, then continues, “I think it's also time we talked about a few things . . . ”

Where there had appeared to be nothing in Ash's arms, there was now a disheveled and bruised Evius. He lets his head relax into Ash's chest, Ash's pounding heartbeat thudding in his ear. His cheeks dimple into a resigned smile.

"Yeah, I think so too."

#tw blood #the caged tiger #ash and evius #writeblr #writing #is this whump?#hurt/comfort #maybe?#dnd fanfiction #this one is taken from a text rp with evius' player #and heavily adapted/edited #so there might be some weirdness #rublewriting

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i-am-nickelbolt · 8 months

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Bronze to Mythic, Wilds of Eldraine draft #10

Drafted my seat poorly, played not great, got unlucky, went 4-3. Le sigh.

Pack 1, pick 1 Redcap Gutter Dweller, nice to start with a broken rare! Pick 2 Two-Headed Hunter, but I think I should have taken Minecart Daredevil, and there was also Syr Armont, Hamlet Glutton, Stockpiling Celebrant... It was a pick to stay in red, though. Pick 3 Frantic Firebolt over Grabby Giant, and again I probably should have reversed them? Pick 4 Minecart Daredevil over Asinine Antics, Kellan's Lightblades, Stockpiling Celebrant... Again just picking red cards since nothing else looks insane. Pick 5 Gallant Pie Wielder which I'm not super thrilled about in a week pack over maybe Spreading Seas? Pick 6 another Pie Wielder over Bellowing Bruiser and Brave the Wilds. Pick 7 complete brick. Pick 8 Witch's Mark. Pick 9 Bellowing Bruiser. Pick 10 Minecart Daredevil, which I almost picked pick 2. Red seems open, I had some inroads to blue that I passed up, and I did pass on a Brave the Wilds.

Pack 2 pick 1 Cooped Up on a really good pack: Mosswood Dreadknight, High Fae Negotiator, Hamlet Glutton, Kellan's Light Blades, Flick a Coin, Sweettooth Witch... Probably should have taken the Dreadknight (along with different cards in pack 1) and been Jund. Pick 3 Hopeful Sigil over Candy Grapple, Threadbind Clique, and Shrouded Shepherd. I think I had RW blinders on. Pick 3 Stockpiling Celebrant over Monstrous Rage and Cooped Up. Pick 4 Tattered Ratter over Minecart Daredevil and Flick a Coin. Pick 5 Tattered Ratter over Ferocious Werefox, Prophetic Prism, and Redcap Thief. Got a nice Knightly Valor 7th, and passed up on another Prophetic Prism 8th.

The real problem here is that I saw Redcap Gutter Dweller as a RW card, and really tried to go in that direction when it wasn't really there.

Pack 3, pick 1 Imodane Recruiter, which made me feel better about being RW, but really it would have been great in any deck I could have drafted. Pick 2 passing Agatha's Champion...I'm done looking at this draft.

I didn't hate my deck, despite seeing all this evidence in hindsight.

I was off to a quick 1-2. First loss, I just kind of flooded out, and they kept the gas flowing with Ingenious Prodigy X=7.

Second loss, I learned that Belligerent of the Ball's bonus is target creature, not just itself. It was Cooped Up, but a trigger ended up leaving me dead on board later in the game when I thought I was going to win. That loss hurt.

Third loss I kept a pretty questionable 2-lander and missed a couple land drops. I still got to Coop Up Yenna, Redtooth Regent. My opponent didn't seem do be doing much, but they ended up getting to Shatter the Oath on my Cooped Up. I think I should have passed up developing my board because they really didn't do much at all outside of casting Yenna, and just exiled it, since Yenna can do some gross things. Ended up being a complete disaster, and lost a few turns later. Bad play on my part.

It is really hard to play Magic with new parent brain.

#bronze to mythic #wilds of eldraine #premiere draft #magic arena #mtg arena #magic the gathering #mtg limited

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caranelguild · 2 years

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October 16, DY 26

After a successful first mission, adventurers Brother and Kai are keen to take up another from Kuene’s board (still only sparsely populated) after a good night’s rest.

This new notice asks them to investigate an unearthed crypt found in a hop field, which the craft farmers suspect has somehow been the root of a bad crop this autumn. Brother and Kai head for the field in the Woodon borough near the fringes of the city, passing through the bougie districts of Booktown and Redstreet on their way (where Brother collects a fair amount of alms).

They arrive at “DJs”, the craft brewery and walled farm plot, and Brother knocks on the door and rings its bell simultaneously, summoning a tall tiefling man in a bathrobe.

This man, Daniel Jecudra brings them in to the open concept loft above their brewery and mill where they catch his husband James Daniels naked and asleep in the bed. James wakes up and throws on a robe, but not before giving everyone a good look at his toned body.

Daniel and James give our adventurers the summary of their problems, explaining that their hops never budded and only grew a few feet up their ropes. When investigating a few plants’ roots, they uncovered a stone, which turned out to be the capstone of a mausoleum’s arched doorway. They unearthed the entrance to the mausoleum but didn’t go any further when they felt a cold gust of wind from deeper in the earth - this is when they found Kuene and employed the services of his guild.

Despite Brother’s best efforts to uncover sordid stories of affairs and sabotage, our duo is eventually led to the hole and the unearthed mausoleum, which they descend into to investigate.

Inside the mausoleum are two large urns marked with Elvish script. Brother considers opening one but is dissuaded by its seal of age and wax. In the bottom corner of the tiny building’s back wall Kai finds a hole, whence comes the subterranean draft. She shifts into the form of a mouse and investigates beyond it, where she is joined by an octopus summoned by Brother. Kai finds a tunnel, where she shifts back into her humanish shape.

On the other side of the wall, Brother begins an alchemical ritual which eventually turns half of the wall into wood, which Brother detaches and sets aside, granting Brother access.

The trio (Brother, Kai, octopus) descend through the curving tunnel until Brother notices a faint phosphorescence ahead. Brother sends the octopus to investigate, watching through its eyes.

The octopus enters a large chamber and finds the source of the phosphorescence: large egg sacs clustered around tubes or trunks of some sort that lead up to a high ceiling. Hungry, the octopus tries to bite an egg, but the sac’s membrane is thick and elastic. It resorts to using the little hooked claws at the end of its arms, which eventually tear open an egg sac, releasing its mucous-like fluids and a spill of eggs. This triggers a pulse of phosphorescent light that travels up the connected tube, which begins to undulate.

Brother snaps back to dwarf perception and follows Kai down to the chamber in time to notice the silhouette of a humanoid shape begin to descend from the tube - which is now noticed to connect to the underside of a coffin wedged in the ceiling. The other tubes, too, lead up to coffins in the earth of the chamber’s ceiling.

Kai hears a chittering from somewhere further in the darkness.

Brother blasts another egg sac with a firebolt, triggering its tube to begin to shiver. Meanwhile, the silhouetted figure has descended through the first tube and its mummified foot is emerging from the broken egg sac (Brother has dispelled the octopus which had been adjacent). Brother destroys the body’s leg and the rest of it slips wetly into view - a desiccated elven corpse. Kai rimes it in frost just in case.

The chittering noise grows nearer, until a hideous shape bursts into the torchlight. Like a spider, its jointed legs have elbows above its sagging thorax, but it is a quadruped and its legs are thick columns. Its head horribly mimics a human face, almost like a puppet - its eyes lifeless, its mouth a slit. Beneath its thorax wobbles a translucent sac of organs in a faintly glowing fluid.

Brother and Kai roll up their sleeves and fight for their lives as more of these grotesque creatures come out of the darkness. They find their attacks almost ineffective against the monsters’ bristly hides, but when they target the dangling bellies they begin to make progress.

Low on mana and bleeding and bludgeoned, our adventurers are on their last legs but facing the last of the creatures when it turns and performs some awful gyrating, thrusting ritual over an egg sac. Its tube begins glowing from the ground up, and as the spider-monster turns to reengage the wounded warriors a silhouette appears at the top of the tube.

This silhouette, unlike the others, which spilled from their tubes still and lifeless, is thrashing and almost changing shape in its tube as it begins to descend.

Kai shifts into the form of a wolf and battles the spider-monster, eventually dispatched by a few blasts of fire from the retreating Brother.

A corpse crawls out of the glowing tube, its lower limbs glowing with lines of phosphorescence and its chest, arms, and head writhing in a hideous facsimile of human flesh. It lumbers towards Kai and lashes her with glowing whips that spread from its clublike arms. These tendrils look for purchase in her wolf fur even as she bites its arms and body - when finally they worm their way into her flesh, they overwhelm her consciousness to take control of her body. The tendril detach from the lumbering corpse and form a writhing collar around the wolf, which turns with glowing eyes to regard Brother, who has already retreated up the tunnel.

The wolf catches Brother in a leap and a bound, sinking its teeth into a shoulder and bringing Brother unconscious to the ground. The corpse follows the wolf - and arrives just as Kai regains control. Kai-as-wolf turns on the lumbering monster and takes it to the ground, ripping it apart, before turning back into a wounded water genasi in order to administer needed first aid to her fallen companion.

Bleeding dearly and on the edge of death, the duo leave the situation as it lies and return to the DJs. James reluctantly bandages them up and they are served restoratives. Brother, muttering over and over “That was bad. So bad” manages to increase the return for their services from monthly shipments of a cask of ale to that plus an immediate payment of cash.

Once no longer bleeding to death, the duo returns through the mausoleum and slashes up the remaining egg sacs. Once detached from their tubes and sacs, the embryos cease to glow. Brother leads Kai to the far end of the chamber, where they investigate a tunnel. This leads to a fork, which leads to a descent towards a pit into darkness (left), a dead end (center), and an exit to the surface among some farmland just outside the city.

Brother selects a cask of winter cherry beer seltzer as the guild’s first monthly stipend and the duo heads back to 1215 Tanglewood Bank, a job well done.

#augleth #chapter 3 #dnd #d&d

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mylordshesacactus · 2 years

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Suncrest Campaign Character Highlights Thus Far:

Since it’s our off week (we run on a 3/1 schedule, taking the last week of every month off to avoid burnout) I thought I’d take some time and list my favorite moments for each of the campaign’s PCs.

Farrah

Favorite Combat Moment: MAXIMUM RAT DAMAGE

Favorite Non-Combat Moment: We LITERALLY have Farrah to thank for the demented conspiracy map. Where would we be without Farrah’s conspiracy board? Nowhere I want to think about.

Audie

Combat: There was a phenomenal moment in this last session where Audie, who is the party WIZARD, the literal squishiest possible spellcaster, physically shoved her way between a wolf bandit and an unconscious 19-year-old civilian, in melee range, summoned a firebolt in his face, and snarled “You want to step away from the kid.” There was so much going on that there wasn’t a lot of time to highlight it during the session, but it’s legitimately I think the most badass thing anyone has done in the campaign so far, and they killed a dragon at level 4. Same session, she pulled out Vampiric Touch for the first time, got a nat 20, and cut the enemy’s HP in half in a single action.

Non-Combat: Spending the first like eleven sessions lamenting the fact that she didn’t have a pearl and so couldn’t cast Identify, the ONE THING she’s best at; consistently forgetting to go purchase one every time she was in the city; finally finding one in a blue dragon’s hoard; and immediately pouncing on it like a cat as it rolled down a pile of silver while going “HAHA! YES!”

Andromeda

Combat: Oh man that one’s hard to pick because she’s had some awesome “oh hell yeah FUCK HIM UP” moments so honestly, let’s give her a shoutout to her dynamic entrance to the campaign, dropping out of the sky onto the head of a death dog.

Non-Combat: “WAIT, I’M A PALADIN?!” tied with her extremely sweet EXTREMELY formal apology to Arlette, complete with fancy half-remembered court bow, because she realized she’d accidentally been pressuring Arlette to out herself and wanted her to feel safe.

Nimbus

Combat: Fucking annihilating the wolf bandit threatening his baby sister. Slit throat from behind with a silver shortsword, no warning, no fucking mercy.

Non-Combat: Honestly his player has done some FANTASTIC roleplaying in this werewolf arc (and the Nat 20 Of Love to find Paisley’s trail in the woods is gonna stay in the highlight reel forever I think). But the other highlight I think has been the fucking TWENTY-EIGHT ARCANA he SOMEHOW rolled during the night hag arc, where he torpedoed a slow-build horror mystery by strolling up to the group and casually going “oh hey, a hag fingernail!”

Max

Combat: Dude MIND-CONTROLLED a FUCKING DRAGON and single-handedly prevented the dragon from taking any offensive actions against the party for basically the entire combat. AT LEVEL FOUR. Also, he got off a CLUTCH Bardic Inspiration last session as well, pushing Farrah just over the save DC she needed to avoid being thrown back by an enemy spellcaster’s Thunderwave--and thus preventing the spellcaster from escaping without provoking an attack of opportunity.

Non-Combat: Right before the hags, when the party was talking over the threat with Arlette, and she was trying to explain to them that they didn’t have to take on an entire hag coven themselves, and Max just very quietly went “Who else will?” and that was actually the moment Arlette saw the group as unlikely heroes for the first time--as opposed to a group of ragtag misfits in way over their heads who needed her protection.

#d&d

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l0vegl0wsinthedark · 3 years

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Draco's First Time

(Random idea. Not beta'd.)

I'm not gonna stop him, thought Harry to himself as Draco abruptly darted into the store selling overpriced candy, biscuits and snacks.

"HARRY!" he bellowed. "THEY HAVE THOSE MUGGLE GOLDEN BALLS I LOVE!"

Convinced that half of Heathrow airport had heard Draco holler the words 'Muggle golden balls', Harry entered the store after Draco and watched in indulgent silence as Draco bought enough chocolate and snacks to fill two large paper bags.

"My god, is that a coffee shop?!" yelled Draco about thirty seconds after they exited the chocolate shop. "In a plane station?!"

"Airport," Harry corrected gently, smiling apologetically at passersby who stared at Draco in open - and some disapproving - bewilderment.

"Yes, yes," Draco said impatiently. "But what if the plane drivers--"

"Pilots."

"--drink too much coffee and then drive the plane--"

"Fly the plane."

"--too fast because they are under the influence of the caffeine?"

"They're way more experienced than that, love. It'll be fine. Besides," Harry smiled wryly, taking Draco's hand with his free hand, "not everyone has quite the sort of reaction to caffeine like you do."

Draco's eyes bulged. "I react perfectly normally!" he proclaimed, loud enough to make Harry wince.

And then he was pulling his hand free and darting into the coffee shop before Harry could stop him.

I'm...not gonna stop him, thought Harry doubtfully.

Ten minutes later they were walking towards their terminal, Draco sucking continuously at the straw in his ridiculous concoction (iced coffee with a shot of espresso, vanilla syrup, chocolate syrup, caramel, whipped cream and chocolate chips). He was already more bright-eyed, and as Harry took his hand again and moved closer, he could feel Draco almost vibrating.

Shit, thought Harry just as Draco shouted:

"Merlin, another line?!"

Every single person standing in line to board their plane, turned to look at them and Harry silently cringed.

"Er... Maybe you can finish that later," he murmured, reaching for Draco's coffee.

"What? No!" Draco pulled his coffee out of reach. "Why are there so many lines everywhere, Harry? Bloody hell, we should've just taken a portkey."

"It's moving now, look," said Harry in relief. "We're right on time."

They joined the line which started moving at a rapid pace and to Harry's relief, they were boarding the plane in less than ten minutes.

"Welcome on board!" said the flight attendant brightly.

"We are first class," said Draco belligerently over Harry's shoulder.

The flight attendant looked a bit taken aback but quickly recovered enough to graciously show them to their seats, promising to return shortly with champagne.

"Merlin, look at all these poor people squashed together like mere peasants," said Draco loudly, peering past the purple curtains that separated them from the other passengers.

"Draco, please come sit down," said Harry weakly. "Here, you can have the window seat."

"Well, obviously." Draco came over, still drinking that fucking coffee and stepping on Harry's toes he fumbled his way into his seat and threw himself down. "Well, fuck, this window is miniscule!" he yelled.

I shouldn't stop him, right? Harry was quickly losing fortitude.

Still, Harry sat through this, smile determinedly in place, for the next twenty minutes.

"This champagne is pigswill, Harry."

"What's that smell? Have one of those peasants back there taken off their shoes?"

"Morgana's tits, look! My seat is moving! I can make my seat move, Harry!"

"Are we there yet? Nothing has changed outside this window, though. Is this the Maldives?"

"Can that annoying person with the horrid champagne refresh my coffee?"

And then it only got worse.

The plane started taxiing.

"Oh my god! We're moving!" Draco exclaimed, clutching at the seat's armrests as though he's about to be shot out of it into space.

"Mhmm, we're about to take off now," Harry said softly, closing a hand over Draco's.

The plane started picking up speed and Draco's knuckles - his whole face - turned white.

"OH MY GOD! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!" he shrieked.

"No, we're just--"

Then the plane lifted off, and Draco screamed again, no doubt at the way his stomach dropped. The other first class passengers and the flight attendants strapped into their seats at the head of the plane were staring at them in astonishment. Harry didn't even want to think about the whole bunch of people on the other side of the curtain.

"AAARGH, THIS IS NOT LIKE BEING ON A BROOM, HARRY!"

I'm gonna have to stop it, thought Harry helplessly.

He reached for the magically enhanced sleeping pills in his pocket - Hermione had prepared him for such a situation.

Then he reached for one of chocolates they'd bought. While Draco was still leaning back in his seat with his eyes squeezed shut, his hands clenched on the armrests, Harry quickly embedded two tiny yellow pills into the sphere of chocolate and waited for them to finish ascending.

Finally, finally, with a soft ping, the seatbelt signs went off and the flight attendants got up and started preparing refreshments. Draco was still sitting with his teeth clenched, his whole body stiff.

"We're done, Draco," Harry said softly. "You can't even feel it now."

Opening one eye and then the other, Draco slowly leaned forward to look out the window.

"Well, fuck me, but even my Firebolt 5000 can't get me this high up, Harry." Draco said loudly.

Harry quickly stuffed the chocolate into Draco's surprised mouth.

"Good, isn't it?" he said hurriedly as Draco stared at him in shock, chewing automatically. "Caramel and almonds on the inside."

Draco's brow furrowed. "Almonds?"

"Yes, almonds," said Harry hurriedly. "Those are the crunchy things you're eating."

Draco swallowed and licked his lips, expression slightly funny. "Something weird about these. I don't like these as much as the golden balls, Harry. Muggles can't make chocolate!" he added, voice rising.

Then, before Harry could look around apologetically, Draco slumped in his seat and began to snore, mouth open.

Harry stared straight ahead of himself, feeling like he'd just suffered a traumatic incident.

Yeah, they were just going to take a portkey back home.

#this came out of nowhere #but i couldn't stop grinning imagining this #drarry #my writing #draco's first time #sorry about the lack of a cut #I'm on my phone #long post

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fireboltstims · 1 year

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A fun childhood board for Meg, one of our facets!

[🐟 🐠 🐟]

[🌈 🌀 🌈]

[🖍 🍳 🎮]

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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"I have some problems with [Luke] as a character)" was mentioned in your Reylo response post. Very interested in what your thoughts are on Luke! 👀

Do you want me to get murdered?! Well, if I didn’t get lynched for calling Sirius Black a Stephen King villain I can surely do no worse here.

Let’s do this.

Caveat that, as usual, I am wearing a heretic hat and expect no one to agree with what I’m saying.

Luke Skywalker, much like Harry Potter, is not the character the authors and vast majority of the audience seem to think he is. Luke is seen as the true coming of the Jedi, the light side of the Force incarnate, and someone so innately good he was able to redeem his father, restore peace to the galaxy, and restore the Jedi Order.

I disagree with all of this.

I think this is what Luke thinks he did but the truth is far sadder and, well, in general worse.

First, let’s start off with Luke’s hero’s journey throughout the saga.

Luke starts your ordinary guy, he’s not bad by any means, but he’s not particularly good either. He lives in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, part of a relatively well off family, and set to inherit the world’s most boring business: moisture farming. He has dreams of going out, seeing the world, and becoming a great pilot.

Important to remember but what most people gloss over: Luke starts if not pro-empire then neutral towards it. Luke wants to attend flight school, given his desire for glory and adventure, he probably wants to join the empire’s military. He might not like Storm Troopers all that much but the fire of revolution doesn’t burn in his heart the way it does Leia’s.

Now, personally, I like this about Luke. It makes sense to me. Given where and how Luke grows up, given all he’s ever known, I think this makes perfect sense for his viewpoint. He might get hassled by stormtroopers now and then but the empire really doesn’t interfere with his life except in a) propaganda b) offering an escape from his dull existence. What would someone like Luke know about the Rebel Alliance?

The movie however... sort of goes out of its way not to acknowledge this, and this is where I start having problems with Luke. Luke gets Leia’s message about Obi-Wan Kenobi, sees the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen in his life, and gets to embark on this amazing adventure. The story sort of takes it for granted that he then agrees with old hermit, Obi-Wan, that the empire is evil. This is helped because Luke does too.

In other words, Luke’s opinions are very shallow and lack any introspection. Finding himself in the company of Jedi, smugglers, and hot rebel princesses, Luke suddenly goes, “Ah, yeah, I hate the empire!” We never really see him change his mind by reflecting over what the Death Star means/the destruction of Alderaan, the death of his relatives, or his meeting with Darth Vader. Luke seems to be won over... Honestly, it feels like it’s because the Rebel Alliance let him fly a plane before the Empire did.

Then he blows up the Death Star, is a galactic hero/enemy number one of the empire, and he’s full on board resistance man and the next Jedi.

Which brings us to point number two, Luke legitimately thinks he’s a Jedi.

Obi-Wan gives him half a word of advice for maybe half of a day, watching Luke swing a sword around and get shot at by a robot. Yoda trains Luke in a swamp for, generously, maybe a week or so before Luke ditches him (against his advice even) to go save his friends. Luke has 0 training (beat out only by Rey, who wasn’t trained at all). More, he lives in a world where everything he knows of the Jedi is colored by Palpatine’s propaganda and old legends. The Jedi temples have been ransacked and presumably next to nothing of the Jedi culture remains, I can imagine Palpatine as being nothing but thorough in his elimination of the Jedi religion. The Jedi survived in Obi-Wan, Yoda, and in some sense Anakin Skywalker.

They do not survive in Luke. Luke puts on some quasi-Jedi robes, slashes his sword around a few times to save Leia from Jabba, and he says, “Now I am a Jedi!” Luke is that kid, LARPing, yelling “firebolt, firebolt, firebolt!” Only, that is, if the LARPing consisted of him representing a massacred culture thinking he’s it’s sole legitimate heir. So... Luke is playing Cowboy and Indians, and he’s the Indian.

In my opinion, Vader wasn’t so much redeemed as he always had a very high priority in finding his son and keeping him alive. The obvious way to do this would be to take Luke as an apprentice and, eventually, murder Palpatine. Well, that didn’t pan out, and eventually Anakin chooses murder-suicide to save his son’s life. It’s very touching, I’m not knocking the moment, but I do think a lot of that was Anakin vice the inherent goodness of Luke.

Anyways, Luke and pals save the day, they start a new republic and then they learn life is complicated. The new republic fails within decades, worse, it’s feeble and likely torn apart by civil war, strife, and constant infighting. It is utterly powerless, to the point where the First Order easily rises to replace the Empire and take over its vast resources (with Palpatine building a secret sith army on the side no less). That Leia rather than lead an army through the new republic in the sequels is leading her own private resistance army is very telling.

Fitting in with this, Luke starts a Jedi Academy. The prequels, and yes go ahead and slander them all you like but they’re better than many admit, taught us a few things but one of them is that it is hard to be a Jedi. To walk the path of a Jedi is to open yourself up to great temptation to use the dark side, and the dark side isn’t just some strange quirk or sense of duality, it is the equivalent of selling your soul. It is an unnatural action that leads to unnatural abilities.

You get a bunch of Force Sensitive kids in a room: you better know what you’re doing.

Luke doesn’t. He collects a handful of the remaining Jedi artifacts that Palpatine somehow didn’t destroy, opens up his Jedi School (even teaching his nephew), and within maybe five years the place is burned to the ground, his students murdered by his nephew, and his nephew runs off to join a Sith Lord who appeared out of nowhere (Luke not realizing that this was just immortal cockroach Palpatine).

Luke then becomes a grumpy old man who just can’t deal, sits on a rock drinking blue milk, and whines that for how shitty of a teach he was that Obi-Wan guy was worse for messing up with his father. Which, frankly, is very in character for Luke.

Luke has never really failed in his life, or at least, never had to recognize his own failure. So, when he does, he a) doesn’t realize what went wrong b) blames everyone but himself c) sits on a rock and waits to die.

So yeah, that’s Luke for you.

A whiney, shallow, stupid, somewhat narcissistic, hero. I... don’t dislike the concept of his character, played more straight I’d love his character, but I dislike that people talk about him like he’s the most noble creature to ever grace the planet and has this inherent understanding of a murdered people that the murdered people themselves never had.

(All the Jedi were doing it wrong! Luke made the real Jedi Order! Is something I see a lot and... well... say what you will about their philosophies, but this kid who was not a part of that culture “doing it better”... That’s real problematic folks, real problematic.)

#ask #anon #star wars #anti luke skywalker

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fedonciadale · 2 years

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"Hermione is really one dimensional in books. She wants to have good grades but it's surface level motivations. If at Hogwart students and teachers were telling that she doesn't fit and because of it wanted to prove herself, then we have strong character." I never read books, only watched movies and a long time ago, but it doesn't sound right for me. That only external conflict is good conflict🤔 But my ask is: Is Hermione really one dimensional in books?

Hi there!

Sorry, it took me so long to answer this! This is because I thought a lot about that, and not only because Hermione is one of my fav characters.

I don't really think Hermione is one dimensional in the books. She does have more than one character trait and they are more or less consistent throughout the book. And like every well written character trait, there are advantaged and disadvantages to it.

First of all, she trusts her own brain (which is not as self-evident as it might seem). This is good, because she thinks out of the box, thinks logically through problems and comes up with solutions more than once. The negative side of this is that she is stubborn, bossy and occasionally self-opinionated and it doesn't help her attitude that she is rarely wrong. It also means that she accepts the authority of people who seem smart (Lockheart!). On the other hand, her brain also gets her out of blindly trusting people. This means that she can be pretty dismissive of wrong opinions.

Second, she is very loyal. Once she has decided that someone is her friend, she'll move heaven and hell for them, and she is absolutely ready to back down on her principles if it is for friends. She is very suspicious of Luna because of the odd way Luna's brain works, but once she has accepted that Luna helps Harry she defends her against attacks from outside (like when Rita Skeeter wants to make fun of Luna). This is also a flaw, because in her eagerness to protect her friends she is ready to throw principles completely over board and she even will protect her friend while going against the wishes of said friends: When she tells McGonagall that she thinks that the Firebolt was sent by Sirius Black for example. She probably knows that Harry and Ron will be very pissed about this, but to her Harry's life is more important than playing Quidditch. (and she was right about the broom being sent by Sirius even if it was not sent in bad intent).

A third characteristic is that she is a person who is centered on goals, and that makes her a useful friend to have around. It is telling that she is the person who prods Harry again and again in The Deathly Hollows that the Horcrux Hunt is what they should be concentrating on. This also means that she puts a lot of energy into thinking about how that goal is best accomplished. She is the one who thinks about the fact that they have to eat and sleep during the Horcrux Hunt. The negative side of this character trait is that Hermione is not very picky when it comes to methods. She does some highly questionable things for her friends and for the goal of defeating Voldemort. This actually makes her a very dangerous person in my opinion - and she definitely needs someone who can hold her back once in a while. She can be awful when she thinks she is in the right.

So these character traits are there, and they make Hermione a rounded character despite the fact that she also fulfills some tropes: Not like other girls and very suspicious of girly girls, the bookworm, ugly duck turned swan (Yule Ball), faithful friend etc.

Just my two cents, obviously!

Thanks for the ask!

#anon ask #Hermione Granger #HP

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invisibleraven · 4 years

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Five Couples Costumes That Weren't...And The One That Was

Imagine your OTP as friends who both have a believed unrequited crush on the other. Each year they go as a couple’s costume for Halloween but both scoff openly at the idea of them being a couple.

I finally break down and write a 5+1 fic! Prompt from @klainetober. Also I know next to nothing about the couples the boys choose to dress up as, so I apologize for anything I got wrong.

AO3

1. Draco/Harry

“Are you coming to the Warblers Halloween party this weekend?”

Blaine’s voice breaks Kurt out of his reverie from studying whatever conflict Napoleon had started now, looking up at his friend. ”Wasn’t even aware they were having one, honestly. Why?”

“Oh we do it every year. Everyone who lives close enough can head home afterward, but since most of us board it’s an all night thing. Spooky movies, lots of candy. I mean we’re too old to trick or treat, but we can still have a bit of fun.”

“I mean, I might be too old for it…” Kurt snarked, causing Blaine to look affronted for a second.

“I’m only a few months younger than you, thank you very much. I mean, I did go the year before transferring here, but that was moreso babysitting some cousins who lived close by.”

“And I’m sure you didn’t dress up or get any candy out of it either.” Kurt replied, his smile cheeky, making a sound of indignation as Blaine swatted him across the arm, scowling but quickly giggling, showing Kurt had been right. “I mean, I didn’t have plans to go home, the parents are in Washington, and I don’t think the McKinley kids had any plans...but I don’t have a costume, and I doubt I’ll find much this late.”

“I’m surprised you don’t make your own.” Blaine quipped. “I know you make a lot of your own stuff.”

“I have been known to do so, but only with proper warning…” At that, Blaine had looked sheepish. He figured that Kurt wouldn’t be interested in the party, but David had reminded him that as a recent transfer, it would be good for his new friend to socialize, even if Halloween wasn’t his thing.

“...I may have an extra one, if you don’t mind matching. I got two different sizes, as Jeff was supposed to come, but since he went and got mono…”

“Depends on what it is...I know you two, and I am saying no right now to anything Star Wars.”

“How do you feel about Harry Potter then?”

The night of the party, Kurt looked himself over, adjusting the green and silver tie at his throat. While Jeff had the necessary hair for Draco Malfoy, Kurt had to resort to either some temporary coloured spray and gel or a truly awful wig, and well the products won out. At least he was wearing his house colours, though he truly doubted Blaine would be decked out in yellow and black.

True enough, when he opened the door to Blaine’s knock, he wasn’t surprised to find him decked out as the titular Boy Who Lived, completely with glasses, a scar and a riot of messy curls adorning his head where his usual dapper do usually sat. “You look great, let’s go!” Blaine said, grabbing his hand as they ran down the hallways.

“What no Firebolt?”

“McGonagall confiscated it remember?”

Soon enough they were in the senior commons, sipping on a vibrant red (and alcohol free thanks to there being no Puck around) punch while the Monster Mash played in the background. “I’m gonna go say hi to Thad.” Blaine said, gesturing too the senior who was dressed as a very realistic vampire. Kurt urged him on, going to scope out the little broomstick pretzel rods that had been laid out.

“Hey Kurt...or should I say Draco?”

Kurt turned and smiled at Trent who was dressed as a Star Trek character, but Kurt couldn’t tell you who. He had only really gone to see the movie because Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto weren’t hard on the eyes.

“Hey Trent, having a good time?”

“Sure am, though I do wish Jeff hadn’t gotten sick, he always brings witch finger cookies, and I am missing them this year.” Kurt giggled, and the two caught up for a bit before Blaine came back over, snagging a tombstone shaped sugar cookie from behind them, giving a fake scowl at Kurt.

“Malfoy.”

Kurt, always one to play along, gave him a withering glare “Potter.” They stared at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter. “Save me a dance later?” Blaine nodded before flitting off towards someone dressed as Bob Ross.

“You two are adorable together.” Trent said, snagging a cookie for himself.

“We’re not together!” Kurt sputtered, sure his face was on fire. “We’re just friends!”

“Who came in a couples costume.”

“Draco and Harry aren’t a couple!”

“They are online.” Trent retorted. “In fact, I know Blaine ships them pretty hard. So maybe he’s trying to tell you something.”

“No way, this was going to be Jeff’s costume until he got sick.” Kurt insisted.

Trent looked confused “Really cause Jeff told me that he was coming as Bumblebee to match with Nick over there.” Trent gestured to Nick who was dressed as some sort of robot. “Showed me the costume and everything.”

“So why did Blaine…” Kurt trailed off as Trent gave him a look, blatantly saying that he couldn’t be that stupid. He then shook his head. No way, if Blaine were interested, he would have said something instead of always insisting they were friends. He took one last swig of punch, determined to put it out of his mind, and grabbing Blaine as the Time Warp started up.

“Hey Potter, wanna dance?”

“Sure thing Malfoy, sure thing.”

2. Sherlock/Watson

Kurt sighed as he watched Blaine down the stairs through the food court. He could admit now, after a year of denial that he was ever so slightly smitten with his best friend. His very oblivious best friend who didn’t pick up a single clue he dropped about them becoming more. Kurt chalked it up to him not being interested, and decided to pine in silence. If they were meant to be, they would be. If not, he would have to suffer through with a broken heart.

Blaine sat down, putting a package of fries to share between them, knowing that if he didn’t, Kurt would end up stealing all of his from his meal. He also slid over a zero sugar ice tea, given Kurt claimed he was giving up soda to prepare for the oversaturation of it come the fall months. Blaine knew come Halloween Kurt would be scarfing down mini Snickers bars like a starved man at a feast, and trading him Twizzlers for Sour Patch Kids.

“So I got a text from Rachel.” Kurt started, dipping a fry in ketchup as he did.

“What did the lovely Miss Berry want?” Blaine took a bite of his sandwich, offering half to Kurt, who smiled in gratitude.

“She’s having a Halloween party...with a theme.” At Blaine’s look, Kurt shrugged “I know, but it’s Rachel. She says she wants everyone to dress up as a literary character. She of course, has already claimed Elphaba, so I’m thinking doing a classic instead...maybe Sherlock?”

Blaine gave a little grin. No one would guess that the Sherlock Holmes mysteries were a favourite of Kurt’s, something he confessed to Blaine after he found a copy of The Hounds of Baskervilles in the Anderson library. It had been a favourite of Kurt’s grandfather, and something he had shared before he passed on to Kurt. “Sounds good, though I question where you’re going to find the deer stalker hat.”

Kurt blushed a little at this. “I was thinking more Cumberbatch adaptation? And maybe you’d be Watson? I know you like the show.”

“Only if you’re going to help me with the hair. And not require us to fake British accents for the night, I’m not my brother.”

Kurt giggled, “You’ve got a deal my dear Watson.”

Come Halloween, the boys pulled up to the Berry household, bedecked in their costumes, ready for another surely disastorous night, as all parties that occurred there seemed to turn into.

“Ten bucks says Sam is dressed as something completely not fitting the theme.” Kurt quipped as they exited the car.

“Not Finn?”

“Rachel strong-armed him into dressing as her Scarecrow/Fiyero, so no dice there.”

Almost as if she heard her name, Rachel flung open the door, her skin painted a deep green, and wearing a sequined black dress. “Hey boys, come on in, we’re in the basement.”

They passed Artie, who was of course dressed as Professor X, arguing with Mike, dressed as a pirate with a very fake peg leg that comics counted as literature. Tina was wearing a Victorian gown, but it wasn’t hard to pick out the distinct vampire bite marks on her neck, and seemed to be moderating the argument.

Sam surprised them all by wearing a smart suit with fake glasses, and while Kurt was ready for him to rip the shirt open to reveal he was Clark Kent, he replied that he was Atticus Finch, and had loved How To Kill A Mockingbird since he read it fresh more year. He turned and slipped Blaine a ten, who shoved it back at him playfully.

“Well well well, if it ain’t the dick-tective and his doctor!” Santana drawled, coming up to them in what appeared to be a dress one would wear to a Renaissance fair, but it clicked when they saw the red smeared all over her hands, with a few distinct handprints littering the skirt.

“Hello Satan...or should I say, Lady MacBeth. Didn’t figure you for a fan of BBC dramas.” Kurt snarked.

“Oh I’m not, but my abuela is, and so I’ve seen the odd episode or two when spending time with her. Nice job aging up Blanderson.”

Blaine was taken aback, but then remembered the silver colouring did make him seem a bit older, and given Kurt had fawned over it, claiming he would be quite the distinguished older gentleman, he hadn’t complained about how long it had taken.

“What’s Brit dressed up as?” he asked, moreso to be polite. Santana gestured to where the blonde was sporting an Alice in Wonderland dress, which actually made so much sense, even if it was on the shorter and sexier side than the Disney version. He then noticed that Kurt had slipped away, talking to Mercedes and praising her costume, even if Blaine couldn’t tell who she was supposed to be.

“Don’t worry, he won’t be gone long. I mean, you guys went to all the trouble of dressing that way, I doubt he’s going to stray far.” Santana smirked.

“Dressing what way? We’re just an interpretation of…”

“I know who you are. I also know that you know how those two are viewed, so why don’t you step up and make it canon?” At Blaine’s still confused look she shook her head. “You really don’t get it do you? Well Auntie Tana is not near drunk enough to explain. All I’m saying is that if you wanted to solve the mystery of the stick lodged up Hummel’s butt...you might wanna stop using the heart eyes and start using your brain.” She flicked him against the forehead as she started to walk away, tossing out as she went “You are a doctor after all.”

Blaine stood there, starring after her, then looking at Kurt, the string of pumpkin lights doing nothing for him, but his smiled blinding him to every other gaudy decoration Rachel had strewn about. Him and Kurt? He shook his head, banishing the thought from his mind and went to grab himself a drink before going to ask Mercedes about her costume.

“Hey, you okay? Did Santana say something awful?” Kurt asked, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

“Nah, just being her. Maybe we can convince Rachel to double double toil and trouble her and get her to stop.” Blaine joked. Kurt smiled, and Blaine had to pinch himself so his traitorous brain would stop thinking about Kurt in anything less than friendly terms.

3. Captain America/Winter Soldier

“Is everyone and their dog having a Halloween party this year or what?” Kurt grumbled as he slung his bag onto the kitchen table where Blaine was studying.

“Not that I know of...why?”

“I’ve been invited to five different ones today alone. Vogue is having one, which I’m kind of obligated to go to, Rachel says Brody is having one and she could bring friends, so I think I have to endure that, plus a few clubs I’m involved in are having socials and want me to pop by.” Kurt ran his hands through his hair. “Any more and my last few days of October are going to be a pumpkin flavoured blur.”

“Well go to the work one, and I guess with Rachel, but I’d say the rest will be conflicts, so pop by the one you want to go to the most. I’ll even go with you if you want, it might be fun.” Blaine said, pushing aside his study guide for the evening. “I think the most NYU has going on is costumed bar hopping, and since I’m not legal...I’d rather go somewhere that won’t card.”

Kurt sighed gratefully. “Thank you, I was honestly dreading going alone. At least to the Vogue one, since I know Rachel is busy that night and it’s uncouth to go alone. I’ll handle the costumes if you want.”

“Can we be superheroes this year?” Blaine asked. “Sam and I are thinking about restarting our superhero club here, and it’d be really cool if we could. I mean, I could be Nightbird!” Kurt sent him a withering glare “Or not. But no Batman and Robin either, I am not spending the night going gee wilkers Batman, not matter how much you ask.” “You make fun, but one day you will admit your fondness for Adam West Batman!” Kurt said. “Fine, how about a Marvel character? You like Captain America right?”

“I think you’re more suited to that role Kurt.”

“Chris Evans I ain’t.”

“No, but I still think you could pull it off. Then I can be your Bucky Barnes...maybe pre Winter Soldier era.” Blaine mused.

“I’m going to pretend I understood half of that, you know I only watch those movies for the cute guys…”

“...and not the plot. Yeah I know. Good thing you’re still my best friend.”

“Till the end of the line?” Kurt asked, the tension in the room suddenly increasing ten fold. Blaine swallowed, knowing that if he were going to take a chance, now would be the time. He was about to repeat it back to Kurt, maybe finally get that kiss when Sam burst into the room, bringing them to a screeching halt before they even got started.

“Guys! I got invited to a Halloween party and I need costume ideas! I’m thinking maybe Captain Amer…”

“NO!” both boys exclaimed. They looked at each other, sharing a secret smile before Blaine launched into a bunch of other super heroes that Sam could emulate, pushing for Booster Gold or Iceman.

“Oooh, if I’m Iceman do you wanna be my Wolverine?” Sam asked, not noticing Kurt had started bustling about the kitchen to prepare supper. “Or would that be too weird?”

“Sorry Sam, I already have costume plans, and they in no way involve trying to emulate Hugh Jackman. Maybe ask Mercedes if she wants to be Storm?”

Sam lit up at that. “Will do! Wait...what are you guys dressing up as?”

“What makes you assume we’re coordinating costumes?” Blaine questioned, at which gave him a look. “Okay we are, but you’ll have to wait and see.”

“Cool, you guys always make the cutest couple.”

Blaine hissed, looking back to see that Kurt was absorbed in his cooking, banging the pots around as he did. “We’re not a couple Sam.” “But you’d like to be...the both of you. So do something about it!” Sam said, pushing him back towards the kitchen. “Look, I know you’re friends and roommates, but you both are crazy about each other, so just admit it, get your mack on, and adopt a million cute Russian babies already.”

“It’s...complicated.” Blaine sighed.

“Only because you’re making it that way.” Sam said, waving as he walked out, closing the door behind him. Blaine looked longing at Kurt, who had unbeknownst to him, just looked away from glancing his way, and the both of them just sighed silently.

‘Not now…’ Blaine thought. ‘...but someday.’

4. Frodo/Sam

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Kurt grumbled as they pushed past many barely dressed mummies, werewolves and sexy nurses on their way towards the bar.

“You did lose the coin toss Kurt.” Blaine replied, finally placing their drink orders, and adjusting the cloak he was wearing.

“But hobbits? Really? I couldn’t have been Legolas or heck, Gandalf rather than fucking Samwise Gamgee?” Kurt grumbled, glancing murderously at the fake hairy feet he was sporting over his regular shoes.

“You agreed that whomever won the coin toss got to choose the costumes this year.” Blaine replied, handing Kurt his drink. “I won. Hell I won two out of three, even after you argued that it must be a trick quarter. Besides, you know everyone will be out dressed as Gatsby era flappers. At least we’re somewhat more original. Even the other Lord of The Ring costumes are from the prequel movies.”

Kurt took a long swig of his drink, grimacing at the burn as it went down. “No, we just look outdated by referencing a movie that has been out for over a decade instead of the brand new instalment, which at least has a dragon.”

“We’ve done the Cumberbatch/Freeman pair up once before, thank you.” Blaine replied, finishing off his beverage. “Now are we going to dance or are you going to complain all night?”

“Can’t I do both?” Kurt grumbled, but allowed himself to be dragged off to the dance floor. The music was a bit more pounding bass than he usually went for, but he had fun goofing off with Blaine, not caring how foolish they looked dancing since they were dressed as hobbits, and who said that hobbits were good dancers?

A beefy looking guy dressed as a lumberjack cut in, pulling Kurt into a dance while a woman in a revealing ladybug outfit tried to engage Blaine. Kurt was obliging, but once the song ended, he moved away, smiling at the lumberjack in thanks. He shrugged, and smiled. “Figured you were too good looking to be single. I’ll get you back to your boyfriend, looks like he needs rescuing anyways.”

“Oh we’re not…” Kurt began to protest but his words got lost in the music as he saw Blaine surrounded by a group of girls in various states of sexy attire, trying to get him to dance. Kurt stifled a laugh, and then pushed through an opening, grabbing Blaine’s cloak. “I swear, you should have never left Bag’s End. Come on Mr. Frodo, next round is on you.”

The girls whined, one of them mumbling about how she always falls for the gay guy, but letting them through towards the bar. “Thanks, I owe you one.” He got his wallet out before Kurt could claim he was joking, paying for the drinks. “What happened to your lumberjack? Was he he not up to the song’s standards?”

Kurt glared for a second before giggling. “He thought we were…” he trailed off, waving a hand between the two of them “Plus I saw you needed help. Wasn’t really my type anyways. I much prefer hobbits. Now come on, I do believe you owe me another dance.”

Blaine swore he left his heart at the bar, as it tried to catch up to the flirty nature of Kurt’s tone. Yet nothing happened, and they parted at their bedrooms doors with a simple hug, instead of the stumbling kiss Blaine had been hoping for. Oh well, Frodo and Sam hadn’t end up together in the movies either, he reasoned.

5. Bert/Ernie

“Absolutely not. I am putting my foot down. N-O means no Kurt!” Blaine said, his face flushed, and his volume raised as he took in the skimpy clothing his roommate/best friend/years long unrequited crush held up for him.

“But it’s funny! And it’s for Pride! Everyone dresses skimpy for Pride! Hell, last year we wandered around in booty shorts for the parade!” Kurt argued.

“That was a parade in June, this is a costume party to raise money for next year being held in October. Also, at no point did I say it was about the skimpiness of the clothing, despite the temperature. It’s about the whole childhood ruining aspect of it!” Blaine said, regarding the cheap plastic masks portraying beloved childhood icons.

Kurt huffed out a breath. “You know they’re gay Blaine, come on…”

Blaine rubbed his temples “Not the point. I don’t want to go to any party dressed as sexy Bert and Ernie! Just...no! The wrongness of it all!”

“Fine, then you find something else to wear, I’ll see if Elliot will be willing to be my Bert..” Kurt replied, stalking off to find his phone.

Blaine slumped down at that, cradling his head in his hands. For the past few years, he and Kurt had done this dance every Halloween, dressing as a pair, having fun and making Blaine question taking things that next step further. No matter how he tried to bury them, his feelings for Kurt never really went away. All of their friends had hinted that Kurt felt the same, but neither of them had made a move yet. Nor would they at this rate.

“Hey...what’s wrong? Are you really that upset about the costumes? Because I thought it’d be funny, but I don’t wanna upset you just for a few laughs.” Kurt said, sitting besides him.

“Did Elliot say no too?” Blaine words were muffled by his knees, but still legible.

“Oh, no, I didn’t ask him. You know you’re my costume partner. I wanted to see if anyone wanted the costumes themselves since you didn’t seem to be okay with it.” Kurt rubbed his back slowly. “Maybe we could go as Spongebob and Patrick instead?’

Blaine looked up, seeing the joking glint in Kurt’s eyes, the concern in his smile, and just...leaned forward and kissed him. Kurt was taken aback for a few seconds then enthusiastically joined the kiss, their mouths moving in tandem until they pulled away, breathless. “So is that a yes to the Spongebob?”

Blaine laughed a little, and pulled him in for a quick peck. “I think maybe this year? We could go as an actual couple.”

“Sounds good to me.” Kurt replied, before pulling Blaine back into a kiss.

+1. Hulkling/Wiccan

“Why am I green again?” Kurt asked, holding tight to his boyfriend’s hand as they navigated the streets towards the Berry/St. James household.

“You’re Hulkling. He’s green.” Blaine replied with a warm eye roll.

“So like Hulk junior?”

“Sure dear.” Blaine replied as he hit the building’s buzzer, letting Rachel know they were here.

“The things I do for love.” Kurt grumbled, but smiled as Blaine whispered his love back to him as the elevator closed behind them. They exchanged a few kisses on their way up, Kurt being thankful for the stage makeup he had managed to snag, meaning Blaine wouldn’t resemble an avocado when they got upstairs.

Unfortunately, they also got caught up in the kissing, and didn’t realize that they were on the right floor until a subtle cough tore them apart, only to see Elliot, bedecked in a great Freddie Mercury outfit smirking at them.

“Fucking finally. Now get out, I have to go fetch more ice.” He said, pushing them into the awaiting apartment. “Oh and congrats on finally getting your heads out of your asses!”

It was loud and warm inside, but they managed to find Sam and Mercedes by the food, and had a quick catch up as they nibbled. A friend of Jesse’s from the theatre came over and asked the boys “So do you guys dress as a couple every year? Me and my boyfriend ran out of ideas and we’d love to swap a few.”

“Actually this is the first year we’ve done it.” Kurt replied.

“I mean we did dress as fan favourite but non-canonical couples…”

“Four the past four years.” Sam interjects.

Blaine glared but continued “But this is our first year AS a couple, so we figured we’d go all out.” He then turned and pecked Kurt lightly on the cheek who turned and met his lips.

“FINALLY!” Sam shouted. “Also, now Artie owes me 50 bucks! He said Christmas, but I’ve had to watch you two goobers do this costume thing every year, so I knew it’d be Halloween.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, and kissed Blaine again. “Cool, you can fund our first date then. Thanks for that.”

Sam gaped at them but then shrugged. “Honestly it’s worth it not to watch you two pine after each other anymore. Next year we won’t have to live through the will they won’t they mess any longer.”

“Honestly Sam, I think next year we’ll be way too busy celebrating our one year anniversary to even bother dressing up.” Blaine replied, hauling Kurt close to him. They smiled, and took each other’s hand as the music started to play. The Time Warp rang out, and Kurt smirked.

“Looks like they’re playing our song. Care to dance?”

“With you? Always.”

#my stuff #writing #fanfic #klaine #klainetober #happy halloween witches!

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kelyon · 3 years

Text

Golden Rings 10: A Favor

The Storybrooke sequel to Golden Cuffs

Rumple deals with the Savior

Read on AO3

He frowns at the parchment in his hands. The twittering bluebird that delivered the message flaps its wings to get away from the window as quickly as it can. The clever animal must sense that the Dark One is in a mood to throw firebolts.

“How bad is it?” His wife gets up from the dining room table. She stands beside him in a patch of sunlight by the uncurtained window.

He slides his arm around her waist. After a year of marriage the gesture is automatic. Touching her is as natural as breathing.

“It is all of our nightmares come to life!” He says the words lightly, as though that will diminish the truth of them.

Belle takes the letter and reads it for herself. “Princess Ella is having twins?” She reads further. “And she thinks you’ll want to take both babies? But the deal was only for her first-born. She would know that if she had read the contract before she signed it! ”

Softly, Rumpelstiltskin drifts away from her. He walks a slow circle around the dining room. Though he never thought much about the castle, he has lived there for hundreds of years. Soon he will never see this place again. He married Belle here. It is his home. It is their home.

“Do you know what really annoys me?”

Belle looks up from the letter. “What, Rumple?”

“In the message,” he takes the parchment back, “the cinder-girl says that a dwarf heard a second heartbeat in her womb. A dwarf. How would a dwarf know to listen for that kind of thing? Dwarves are hatched, fully-grown, from eggs.” He paces back and forth across the room. “In the entire history of time, fewer than a hundred dwarves have ever come out from their mines to interact with the above-ground. How in any hell would one of them be knowledgeable about the pregnancy of a human woman?” He shakes his head. “It’s sloppy. By acting like I believe such a ruse, I will look an utter fool.”

“Then you shouldn’t go!”

The words come out as a cry, and Belle’s hand covers her mouth. Her eyes are wide. She is shocked that she would allow such a thought to escape her lips. He knows that she would take it back if she could.

But the words have already been spoken. They hang in the air between husband and wife like a barrier.

He goes to her, without hesitation. He breaks the barrier of her words. He takes her hand away from her mouth, kisses her fingers, then her lips. There is nothing she can do or say to him that she will ever need to take back. He loves her, and her love for him is his only certainty.

When they pull apart, Belle’s cheeks are wet with tears.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. She shakes her head and lowers her eyes. Rumpelstiltskin holds her in his arms and lets her cry.

“It’s all right,” he murmurs. He rocks her gently, swaying from side to side. It’s almost like they’re dancing. The last dance they will ever share in this world.

He cannot fault her for not wanting to be abandoned. When he is gone, she will be vulnerable, even with all their best precautions in place. There is still a risk, and Belle is right to be mindful of her own safety. He needs to be near her in order for her to be protected.

“I thought I could be brave enough,” she murmurs. “But I can’t.” She puts her hands on his chest and takes a deep breath. “I can’t let them do this to you!”

Stunned, Rumpelstiltskin looks at his wife. Gently, he brings his hands up to her face. There is nothing but honesty in her eyes. He sees her so clearly, his Belle, his beloved. This tiny, fragile, mortal woman is more fearful for his comfort than her own survival.

“Me?” he whispers. “Belle, what about you?”

“They’re going to put you in a cage, Rumple! A cage with no magic! You’ll be powerless! Those people could do anything to you! They could hurt you or--”

“You’re the only person who can hurt me, Belle,” he assures her. “You are the mistress of the dagger. Nothing anyone else does to me matters.”

Her breath shakes. “I just wish--”

“Shh.” He pulls her close, holds her tight. “No wishing. Wishing is how little cinder-Ella got into the position she’s in. Wishing is wanting something without putting in the work to get it, and we know better than that. After all, my love, all magic--”

“Comes at a price,” she finishes it with him. “I know.”

Her hands go up to his face. She traces his lines and his scales, rubs her palms against his sharp jaw, his cheekbones. He closes his eyes and rests against her touch. Belle runs a finger up the edge of his nose and over his eyebrows. She cups his cheeks in her soft hands. By the end of it, both of them are breathing more easily.

“When will the Savior be born, Rumple? When will the curse be cast?”

“By tradition, the announcements are made in the royal mother’s sixth month of pregnancy. That was just a few days ago. Snow White is about as far along as the ash-girl.”

“So three months,” she says. “For three months, you’ll be in prison and I’ll be pretending.”

“It will keep us safe.” He takes her hands, kisses her ring. “You will be safe from Regina and everyone else will be safe from me. Whoever wants to find me will know exactly where I am. They’ll see me beaten, and will have no reason to fear me.”

“But we won’t see each other for three months.”

He embraces her again, kisses her forehead. “Three months, and twenty-eight years.”

Belle shudders. “Tell me you don’t have to leave right now.”

He squeezes her, and shakes his head. “Tomorrow night, the letter said. At the stroke of midnight. I think the princess thought that was clever.”

Belle scoffs.

Rumpelstiltskin tilts her chin up so that she’s looking at him. “I am yours forever, sweetheart. But for this plan to work, I must play my part. I must be all the darkness mothers tell tales of to frighten children. I must steal babes and trick maidens and be vanquished by heroes who are oh-so-very-good and clever. I must be every evil thing they think I am. And then, Belle, in order to win--I must lose.”

****

Rumpelstiltskin came out of the darkness to the sound of a frantic banging and a woman’s voice:

“Oh my God! Are you alright?”

Belle. His eyes stung and his head hurt. He couldn’t say what he wanted to say. Sweetheart, don’t worry about me…

But Belle’s voice kept shouting, almost screaming. It came from some distance away, even more than through the fog of his unconsciousness. It was like she was in another room. Once again, they were separated by a locked door.

He was lying on the ground. The floor, inside somewhere. A wooden floor.

It was dark. When he tried to open his eyes, lights streamed in through the windows. Orange, electric lights. Street lights. Storybrooke.

“The door’s locked, but I’ve got my new key!” Belle’s voice cried. But it wasn’t Belle on the other side of the door to Gold’s shop. “I’m coming in!”

Rumpelstiltskin raised his head for a moment, but then the pain flashed like lightning and he sunk back to the ground.

“Oh, Jesus!” Mrs. Gold opened the door and turned on the lights. He winced at the brightness. Eyes closed, he heard the crunch of broken glass under her gray suede boots. “Oh Jesus Christ, Mr. Gold! What happened? Are you okay?”

She knelt on the floor beside him, touching his face and chest frantically. Like she was trying to assure herself that he was real, that he was breathing. Her touch was warm on his skin. Belle was always so warm...

“Christ, Mr. Gold, you’re bleeding! Can you talk to me? Please talk to me!”

Obedient to his wife, Rumpelstiltskin opened his mouth and made a noise. It was mostly a groan, but it was enough to calm her a little.

“Can you open your eyes?”

Her concerned face blocked the light, so it was easier to do what she asked. Slowly, Rumpelstiltskin sat up. He pushed himself backward with his good leg, until he was leaning against one of the glass counters.

“I’m all right,” he whispered.

“Bullshit! You’re bleeding. And you were clearly knocked out! What happened? Who did this to you?”

“I did it to myself,” he breathed. True, his assailant had sprayed his face with some noxious chemical potion. Blinded, he had flailed back into a display. But he hadn’t gotten the cut on his head until he tried to lunge forward and his ankle had given out on him. He had fallen onto the corner of a chess board on the counter.

It could have been worse. The girl could have bashed him in the head with the brick she had used to break the window. His mortal skull could have shattered just like the glass. He could have bled out on the shop floor without ever seeing the curse broken. He could have died without ever seeing Belle again, without ever finding Bae...

“Oh my God.” Tears rolled down Mrs. Gold’s cheeks. Why would she cry for him? Gold had never been anything but awful to her, and Rumpelstiltskin hadn’t been much better.

“Check the safe,” he said, mostly as a way to get her away from him for a moment. He needed to think.

“Jesus, were you robbed?” Mrs. Gold scrambled to her feet and hurried to the back wall of the shop. Framed paintings crowded every inch of wall space. One picture swung open on a hinge. Behind it, a metal safe door was also open. When she spoke again, her tone was less teary.

“You were robbed by an idiot,” she said. “They left the key in the lock. And they locked the side door on the way out!” Rumpelstiltskin heard the rustling of papers. “They left all the cash too. It looks like the only thing missing is--”

“A contract,” he finished. Where was that cane? A moment’s reprieve had given him time to come up with a plan. But he couldn’t enact it on the floor. “Ashley Boyd’s contract.”

Mrs. Gold scoffed. “Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? That stupid bitch!” Slamming the safe closed, Mrs. Gold stormed through the curtain into the back room of the pawn shop.

“What are you doing?” he called weakly.

“Getting the first aid kit!”

Rumpelstiltskin leaned his head back against the display case. Right. Gold kept a good stock of medical supplies in his house, his car, and the shop. Bandages, burn ointments, medical scissors. Considering what Gold liked to do with his wife, it was best to be prepared for injuries.

Mrs. Gold reappeared with a white metal box in her hands. Kneeling beside him, she opened it. She put on a pair of rubber gloves before she began to clean the cut on his forehead.

He let her. It was the first time he had allowed Mrs. Gold to touch him. The first time anyone had touched him, since the last time he had seen Belle.

“I can’t believe that sneaky little skank!” Her touch was gentle, but her words were furious. “You’re saving her by taking that baby off her hands! And this is how she repays you? She thinks she can weasel out of a deal with you? Unbelievable!”

Rumpelstiltskin closed his eyes again. “The girl said something about changing her life.”

“Ruining her life is more like it!” Mrs. Gold huffed. “Ashley Boyd thinks she can be a mother? She’s too stupid and irresponsible. She’s always wanted some fucking fairy godmother to solve all her problems for her. You just know she got pregnant on purpose.” Mrs. Gold squeezed a paste out of a white tube and spread it over his skin. Careful to brush his hair out of the way first, she adhered a plastic bandage to his scalp. “She wanted Sean to marry her, so she decided to trap him. And when his father found out, he came to you to take care of it. You found some family to adopt the baby and got Ashley to sign the contract. But now she wants out of it? Why? What reason could she possibly have for wanting a fucking baby?”

Snapping the metal lid shut on the box, Mrs. Gold stormed back into the other room to put away the first aid kit.

“Something must have changed,” Rumpelstiltskin said when she returned. Gingerly, he brought his hand up to the bandage. “I suspect Ashley spoke to someone who convinced her that she was stronger than she thought.” Despite the pain, he found himself grinning. “Someone who made her believe in the possibility of a happy ending.”

Mrs. Gold handed him the cane and helped him stand up. “Who would do that?”

“The same person I’m going to talk to in the morning.”

****

Technically, an unauthorized roommate was a violation of the lease on the studio apartment that Mary Margaret Blanchard rented from Gold. But that didn’t matter to Rumpelstiltskin. It was convenient for him that Emma Swan had taken to living with the woman she didn’t know was her mother. It made her easy to find.

When Snow White answered the door, the former princess went even paler than normal. She had never seemed afraid of him before, even when he looked his most inhuman. Of course, to the people of Storybrooke, Gold was more of a monster than the Dark One could ever be.

“Is Emma Swan here?”

Mary Margaret Blanchard looked over to the side of the room before speaking. It looked like she was trying to be discreet about having a guest, while simultaneously advertising the fact for all to see. Well, that was to be expected. Snow White had never been known for her ability to keep a secret.

Emma came to the door.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

Even in this world, she was a princess. A true princess, someone who had battled and politicked and worked her way to whatever power she had. Emma Swan had been born in a castle, but she had spent her first eighteen years of life in a dozen different foster homes. Gold knew that Henry Mills’ birth mother had had him in jail. She had given birth while handcuffed to a hospital bed. Since then, the woman had made a career as a bail bondsperson. Her job was to find people who were running from their fates and force them to do the right thing--by hook or by crook, as the shepherds used to say when herding sheep back into the fold.

There was a fire in her green eyes, a vibrant spirit that no one else in this town had. Even if Rumpelstiltskin didn’t know she was the savior, it was obvious there was something special about this woman. From the moment she was born, she’d had to fight.

And there was nothing a fighter needed more than an opponent.

“Hi,” Rumpelstiltskin extended his hand out for her to shake. “I’m Mr. Gold, we met briefly when you first came into town.”

“I remember.”

She wasn’t, exactly, unfriendly. But she spoke with a businesslike brusqueness, a tone that said get to the point more than any actual words. She certainly was her father’s daughter.

“May I speak to you about something? Privately?” He gave a meaningful look to Mary Margaret, who bolted like a rabbit away from her own door.

“Sure,” Emma said begrudgingly.

Without asking, Rumpelstiltskin walked in to the apartment. The central room was as neat as a pin, except for a dozen packing boxes in one corner. All of them were opened, half the contents of each box scattered and piled around that section of the room. A knitted blanket was draped over a chair. It was a small blanket, the kind in which a loving mother would wrap a newborn before sending her on a perilous journey. The name Emma was stitched out in royal purple.

“Moving in?” he asked.

“Yep,” she said, neither denying the obvious nor giving any extra details. “So what can I do for you, Mr. Gold?”

Emma Swan’s natural posture was to keep her back to the wall, her feet apart, and her hands on her hips. Not aggressive, but not one to be pushed over either. She was a rock, as so many heroes were. No force could move her unless she thought it was her idea to move.

“I don’t want to go to the police about this,” he began. “But something has been stolen from me, and I understand you’re good at finding people.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Where’d you hear that?”

“There was a write-up about you in the paper,” he answered. “If you were hoping to avoid attention, breaking the ‘Welcome to Storybrooke’ sign on your first night in town wasn’t the best move.”

With a rueful expression, Emma wiped her hands on her trousers. “So what was taken?”

“All due respect, Miss Swan, one of the advantages of you not being the police is a certain level of discretion. Let’s just say it was a precious object and leave it at that. I’m more concerned about who did the taking. Last night, a young girl named Ashley Boyd broke into my shop and opened my safe. She’s also responsible for this.”

Brushing his hair back, Rumpelstiltskin revealed the cut on his forehead. It had scabbed over, but the wound was still a vivid red.

Emma frowned. “So that’s breaking and entering, petty burglary, and assault. You’re sure you don’t want to call the cops?”

He looked at the ground, made a show of playing with his cane. He had to make sure Emma underestimated him. “Ashley’s a nice girl. She’s never been in trouble like this before. She’s young, she’s pregnant. She’s just a confused young woman at a bad place in her life. I’m more than willing to forgive and forget, as long as my property is returned.” Rumpelstiltskin looked up at Emma, and mentioned something that hadn’t been published in the paper. “Can you imagine one bad decision leading to a baby being born in jail?”

It was gone in a flash, that flicker of emotion in Emma’s eyes. He would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking for it. Emma’s masks were better than Regina’s, but he had been manipulating people for centuries. He knew how to recognize that moment of decision--often long before the other party knew it. That moment when he knew that they were his.

“Yeah, that’d be terrible,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

Rumpelstiltskin pressed in. The deal would be finalized before she even knew she was seriously considering it.

“So you’ll help me?”

“I will help her,” Emma said. She was stone again. The Savior had wavered for just a moment, but that moment was all he needed.

“Grand.” He gave her a smile. Nothing nicer than making people feel good about doing exactly what you wanted them to.

Before they could say anything more, the apartment door opened.

“Hey, Emma, I think we need to--” Henry Mills stopped talking as soon as he saw that his birth mother wasn’t alone.

“Hey, Henry.” Rumpelstiltskin’s cheer became more genuine. There was something about Henry Mills that he liked. The boy had an insight and a determination that were rare gifts in a cursed town. Something about him reminded Rumpelstiltskin of Baelfire when he was that age. “How are you?”

“O...kay.” The boy took a step back. His excited features slowly schooled themselves into a cautious non-expression.

To Rumpelstiltskin’s sorrow, the sudden transformation from excitement to sobriety was also something he had seen in Baelfire. Shrewd children could always identify monsters, no matter how friendly they tried to act.

“Well then.” He made his way to the door, passing by Henry in the process. The boy swiveled so he never had his back turned to the fearsome Mr. Gold. “Give my regards to your mother. And Miss Swan?” He nodded to the Savior before he let her go fulfill her destiny. “Good luck.”

****

When he got back to the shop, Mrs. Gold was behind the counter, ringing out a customer.

“Your sister is going to love this! A cute little pin is a great fashion statement. And where else could you find jewelry that looks like a brick wall? It’s so different!”

She handed a gift bag to the middle-aged woman, who took it with a dubious expression.

When Mrs. Gold saw that he had walked in the side door, she quickly added. “Of course, it all depends on how you like getting pinned!”

The other woman went pink and barreled out of the shop, her stick-brown hair streaming behind her.

Rumpelstiltskin didn’t talk to Mrs. Gold about how she intimidated people with her innuendo. What else could he expect from her? She did and said what she thought her husband wanted.

“Was everything alright while I was out?”

Mrs. Gold nodded. “No break-ins today, though I did keep a weapon handy.” From the far side of the cash register, she pulled out a flat, heavy wooden paddle. Gold identified it as a cricket bat. Mrs. Gold twirled the handle with practiced deftness. “But now that you’re here, maybe we can put this to better use?”

He didn’t give her an answer. He didn’t need to. After just a moment of glittering hope, Mrs. Gold lowered her gaze and set the cricket bat aside.

“Sorry for asking, Mr. Gold. I know that’s not my place.” Still looking down, she knocked her knuckles against the countertop. “I, uh, I just wanted to show you that I’m willing, always. For anything.”

Rumpelstiltskin licked his lips and resisted the urge to reach out to her. He didn’t desire Mrs. Gold, and he wasn’t going to treat her the way she wanted him to. But she looked so helpless now--so small and confused, seeking affection from the only person she had, in the only way she could think of. He wanted to help her, he wanted to comfort her.

He wanted to hold his wife in his arms and let them comfort each other.

But he didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he took the cricket bat from the counter and put it back in its proper place among the store’s merchandise. Out the front windows, he saw a bright red vintage sports car make its way up Main Street.

“That’s Ruby Lucas’ car,” he said mildly. “But that isn’t Ruby driving.”

Mrs. Gold rushed to the window. “Who is it?” She craned her neck to see, then grinned as she recognized the driver. “A dumb blonde in a ratty sweater, that’s Ashley Boyd alright.” She looked to her husband. “Now that we know where she is, are you going to call Sheriff Graham?”

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head. “I have every confidence Miss Swan will work things out.”

“She’d better work fast.” Mrs. Gold squinted out the window. “It looks like Miss Too-Good-For-Birth-Control is trying to get out of town.”

“You sound pleased to know that.”

“Idiot’s taking the Widowmaker Highway.” There was a grimness seeping through Mrs. Gold’s vindictive pleasure. “Even in broad daylight, that road is a death trap.” She shook her head, moved away from the window. “If Ashley doesn’t know enough to stay in Storybrooke, she deserves whatever happens to her.”

Despite his better instincts, Rumpelstiltskin decided to keep talking to Mrs. Gold. “Why do you hate her?”

“Huh?” She blinked.

“Ashley,” he said. “You seem… uniquely unsympathetic to her plight.”

Mrs. Gold pursed her lips in thought. “I mean, she broke in here and knocked you out. I’m not nuts for taking that personally, am I?”

“I suppose not,” he assured her. “But your enmity clearly runs deeper than that.”

Shrugging, she began to wander back to the cash register. “She’s stupid, that’s the main thing. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, so she’s bad at it. That offends me on a professional level.”

Rumpelstiltskin raised his eyebrows. He stayed where he was near the door. “Professional?”

“Well, yeah, it’s…” Mrs. Gold began to search around the counter, less like she had something to do and more like she was finding an excuse to fidget. “I mean, it’s not a secret that I know a thing or two about a trashy Old Town slut trying to get a better life by marrying someone rich enough to make her problems go away.” Now she looked at him, her face determinedly impassive as she said what she thought was the truth about her own life. “I don’t blame Ashley for wanting Sean to marry her. He’s an idiot too, so they’ll get along well, and his parents will always bail him out if things get too tight. But she didn’t get the job done. He split and she’s trying to avoid the consequences of her failure.”

“She wants to keep the baby,” Rumpelstiltskin said. “That doesn’t sound like avoiding consequences.”

Mrs. Gold shook her head. “Even if she hadn’t made a deal with you, things were never going to work out for that girl. Not so long as she went around thinking that she didn’t have to work for what she wanted to get out of life.”

She slid her forearms over the glass as she leaned against the counter. The posture displayed her cleavage, but it didn’t seem to be an invitation. Not a pose, just a slump.

“It was the first lesson you ever taught me, Mr. Gold.” She gave a smile, wistful, nostalgic. “Everything comes at a price.”

****

Shortly after Ruby’s car had left town, Emma Swan’s yellow Volkswagen rumbled down the road in the opposite direction.

Half an hour later, the Beetle drove past the shop again. Faster than before, it was now heading the same direction as the runaway Ashley.

Later still, the car raced up the street at a frightening speed. This time, Emma and her passengers made a turn at the hospital.

Rumpelstiltskin smiled and checked his pocket watch. It was almost four in the evening. Gold didn’t normally close the shop so early on Saturdays, but this was a special occasion.

“I’m going to drop you off at home,” he said to Mrs. Gold. “I’ll be back in time to make supper.”

Mrs. Gold looked up from the small case of rings she had been arranging according to size. “Am I allowed to know where you’re going?”

“The hospital,” he answered with no small amount of pleasure. “I’m going to see if Miss Swan will let me steal Ashley’s baby.”

****

Gold was familiar with Storybrooke General Hospital. His physician, Dr. Whale, did his private practice on the third floor of this building. Today, Rumpelstiltskin was heading for the maternity ward.

When he rounded the corner around the reception desk to the waiting room, he saw Emma talking to a nurse. Henry was there too, patiently sitting in one of the stuffed vinyl chairs. The boy’s feet swung back and forth and didn’t touch the ground.

“It’s a healthy six pound girl,” the nurse told Emma. “And the mother is doing fine.”

“What lovely news.” He announced his presence. “Excellent work, Miss Swan. Thank you, for bringing me my merchandise.”

Before Emma could react, before she could vent out any of her undoubtedly righteous fury, Rumpelstiltskin slid past her to get to the vending machines, cool as a mountain stream. He took some coins out of his trouser pocket and deposited them into the coffee machine. He had no intention of drinking any coffee, but it would serve a purpose. When Emma saw that he had a styrofoam cup in one hand and the cane in the other, she would see that he was powerless. Just a harmless old cripple. Not a threat at all.

“You could have mentioned that the precious object Ashley ‘stole’ was her own child.”

Interesting that Emma’s wrath was not the fiery passion of her parents. Prince Charming would have drawn his sword as soon as the Dark One had made his presence known. But aggression had never done the prince any favors, and maybe Emma knew that posturing would only waste time. Get to the point, was the Savior’s way of doing things. Whatever needs to be done, just do it.

How delightfully refreshing.

“You didn’t need to know,” he answered calmly. “All you needed to do was keep Miss Boyd from leaving Storybrooke.”

“She isn’t going to run,” Emma said. “I talked with her today. She wants to stay. She wants to raise her kid.”

“Now, that’s a very heartwarming sentiment.” Rumpelstiltskin brought the cup to his lips to look like he was drinking. “But I have a contract that says that baby is going home with me. I even have a car seat for the wee thing.”

“That’s a lie,” Emma said, correctly. “Consent to adoption papers can’t be signed sooner than seventy-two hours after the birth.”

That was a good strike, but he didn’t let it land. “I also have an envelope filled with more cash than Miss Boyd has ever seen in her life. I find that sort of thing tends to smooth over certain technicalities.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What do you even want with a newborn? Why are you adopting?”

His instinct was to let out an impish giggle from the old world. But he restrained himself just in time. “I’m not,” he said simply. “I’m merely the go-between. I arranged things with a very nice couple. They’ve already adopted one daughter, and were willing to take on a second.”

“‘Willing?’” Emma repeated the word with exaggerated brightness. “Well, Ashley is more than ‘willing.’ She is eager. She is desperate to keep this baby. And I’m not going to let you stop her from being a mother.”

Rumpelstiltskin grinned. Here it was at last, the declaration of intent. In her own way, Emma Swan had just drawn her sword. Now he could draw his.

“A mother who committed--what did you say earlier? Breaking and entering, petty burglary and assault?”

She clenched her jaw and he went on.

“All I have to do is press charges against the mother, and that baby is going into the foster care system. And that would be a real shame. Did you enjoy your time in the foster system, Emma?“

At that barb, she fought back. “No jury in the world is going to convict a woman who only committed crimes so she could keep her kid.”

He shrugged, dodged the attack. “Maybe.”

Emma pressed in. “And maybe a court of law will think there’s something kind of fishy about a pawnbroker pressuring a teenage girl into placing her baby for adoption for financial compensation. ‘More cash than she’d ever seen in her life,’ isn’t that what you said? Why do you have that much cash, Gold? Do you want a court looking into your business dealings? Or into any other contracts you might have?”

Rumpelstiltskin smiled. Oh, the Savior was magnificent--like a force of nature or a perfectly executed spell. If she was ever actually a threat to him, he might well have something to worry about.

“I like you, Miss Swan,” he said. “You’re not afraid of me. That’s either cocky or presumptuous, but I find it charming. And I’d like to have you on my side.”

She raised her eyebrows, but didn’t loosen her stance. “So you’ll rip up Ashley’s contract?”

He raised his cup of coffee in a gesture of helplessness. “That’s not what I do. After all, a contract, an agreement between two parties where both of them benefit--that’s the very foundation of a civilized society.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Yes, what happened today has all been very civilized.”

“And there’s the adoptive family to consider. I’ll have to make things right with them and that won’t be easy. It’s not something I’ll do for nothing.”

Arms still crossed over her chest, Emma stepped closer to him. “Alright, Gold. What will you do it for? What’s your price?”

Rumpelstiltskin gave her a long, slow look. “I don’t know just yet,” he said. “But seeing the lengths you went to for Ashley’s sake is rather inspiring, Miss Swan. You said you were going to help her, and you did. I may be wrong, but I think you have the resources necessary to help a lot of people.”

“So what’s your point?”

“Help me,” he said with all the sincerity he could while still acting like Gold. “When there comes a time, when I--or one of mine--needs the assistance of Emma Swan, fight for me. The way you did for Ashley. Call it a favor.”

“A favor, huh?” Emma offered her hand. “Deal.”

He tossed the coffee in the trash to take her hand and shake it. Now he knew how the Savior worked. He knew what she was capable of, and now she owed him a favor. He had won so much--and all he’d had to do was lose.

“Deal.”

#golden rings #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #rumbelle fanfic #ouat

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i-am-nickelbolt · 9 months

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Bronze to Mythic: Wilds of Eldraine, draft #4

Deck was sweet, played bad, went 3-3.

Pack 1 pick 1 kind of an interesting pack. Forced Fruition, which I think kind of sucks, it's just way too bad against the aggressive decks, and if you're behind you just spent six mana not affecting the board. Restless Vinestalk, which I think is good, but also pretty slow. I ended up taking Torch the Tower over Woodland Acolyte, hoping to wheel maybe a Rat Out or Evolving Wilds. Pick 2 Candy Grapple over Cooped Up and some medium red cards and an Evolving Wilds. Pick 3 was pretty bad, Two-Headed Hunter over Hollow Scavenger. Pick 4 was also pretty bad, Hopeless Nightmare over Kellan's Light Blades. Pick 5 I took Mintstrosity over Flick a Coin, Redcap Thief, and Ratcatcher Trainee, mostly because it's a 2 Drop. There was also a Glass Casket and a Hopeful Vigil, so maybe white was open. Pick 6 Brave the Wilds, which I just think is such a premium spell. It's a 1-mana 3/3 haste that lets you trade it in early to fix your mana. Pick 7 a late Cooped Up and now I'm feeling emboldened to go 5-color. Pick 8 Hamlet Glutton basically says fixing over everything at this point. I wheel 2 Flick a Coins, a Scarecrow Guide, and a Johann's Stopgap. Not a bad pack 1. All cheap removal, some fixing, and an under-costed giant trampler with lifegain

Pack 2 pick 1 Hatching Plans. I have 5 bargain cards I am 100% playing and 2 packs left to get more. Pick 2 Stab Wound over Bitter Chill, which I think is probably a mistake. I think Stab Wound is a little overrated, especially in decks that aren't racing. Pick 3 another Cooped Up. Pick 4 Gingerbread Hunter, hell yeah. Pick 5 Quick Study. Pick 6 Frantic Firebolt. Pick 7 Spell Stutter over Frantic Firebolt. I've got a glut of 3s, and counterspells are exactly what this deck wants. Pick 8 Spell Stutter over Feed the Cauldron for similar reasons. The rest of the pack was pretty much junk, I am getting a little nervous about my mana situation.

Pack 3 pick 1 a very sad Ferocious Werefox, but in hindsight I should have taken Neva, Stalked by Nightmares since it can rebuy enchantments and I've got Cooped Up, Stab Wound and Hatching Plans. Pick 2 Archive Dragon, thank you! Pick 3 a sad Redcap Thief. Pick 4 Candy Trail over Hamlet Glutton and Quick Study. I've already got enough 5s and strangely 3 mana for scry 2 draw gain 3 is I think better than just draw 2, especially when you can scry lands on turn 1. Pick 5 Hollow Scavenger, but pick 6? Up the Beanstalk! That's feels like a pick-six if you get the football reference. A Crystal Grotto rounded out the pack.

I love this deck, even though the mana is a little shaky, this is how you fight the aggro decks. Lots of cheap removal, cheap card draw, and large, hard to interact with finishers that also provide value.

My first loss was to UB faeries. I messed up combat against a Screampuff pretty badly. They had Likeness Looter to immediately copy the dead Screampuff and then also had Talion's Messenger, which is like the 4th time I've lost to that card. I let this game get away from me.

My second loss was to URG where I misread Food Fight and made another bad block. I thought Food Fight only did # of Food Fights damage, not 1+. So when I tried to pump my blocker they blew me out. Then I untapped and double Flicked their 3/2 to try to make something back from the mistake, but they had the hexproof trick, and that was just game. Really should have not lost like that.

My 3rd loss was also to URG that I ended up decking myself. The game went very long and my opponent was dead to rights and I just bricked turn after turn after turn. I think I would have won if Gingerbread Hunter wasn't the exact bottom card of my library. These are the kind of games where you feel like you missed one little piece of advantage, like a mana you didn't use on one turn or a trade you could have made, or conversely shouldn't have made.

Definitely deserved the 3-3, I played bad. But this deck was awesome and I'll be drafting more of this style of deck for sure!

#bronze to mythic #wilds of eldraine #mtg arena #premiere draft #magic the gathering

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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BACK TO THE BURROW

Harry found himself flipping to the next chapter with a smile on his face, and he put it all down to the fact that he was headed over to the Burrow house!

Harry had all of his treasured possessions packed in no time, including his Invisibility Cloak he'd inherited from his father, and his Firebolt that Sirius had given him,

James couldn't help a little smirk, at least his cloak was mentioned first.

and his Marauders Map. He'd cleaned out his loose floorboard, made sure every corner of his room was free of his belongings, and even took down the chart he always had hanging up marking the days until he went back to school. The rest of the house lay in a tense silence, the known coming of assorted wizards

"Assorted," Lily sniffed at their typical over exaggeration. "It's going to be Ron, one of his parents, and that's it. They might try to make pleasant conversation for five seconds before they realize you're a waste of space and be done."

was making the Dursley's more irritable than normal.

Sirius couldn't help but squirm in agitation. He hated to think of Harry there when they were in a good mood, he didn't like to think of him being around when they were even more bad tempered with him than normal.

Harry left his trunk in his room and chose to sit on the stairs as five o'clock came around, and when Vernon caught sight of him he snapped at Harry that these people had better have dressed right.

"Oh yes, because they're so likely to come in their nightgowns," Remus snorted.

He'd seen the garb they chose to wear, and they'd better have the courtesy to show up in normal clothing.

"What does he mean by normal?" James frowned.

"If they showed up in their best black tie, Vernon would still hate them, so it doesn't really matter," Lily huffed.

Harry flashed back to the two Weasley parents, who he'd never seen outside of their robes. This didn't bother Harry, but he now felt a stirring of nerves at how the Dursley's might treat them when they showed up looking like their idea of the worst kind of wizards.

All five of them were frowning for that very same reason now, none of them wanted to hear about this exchange. It might have the one benefit of making the Weasley's look further into Harry's care there, it just sort of depended on how bad this got.

Vernon chose to put on his best suit for the night, and while some might think this a kind gesture,

"Sadly we know better," Sirius sighed.

Harry knew it was because Vernon wanted to look impressive and intimidating.

"A feat he would marvelously fail at no matter what he's wearing," Remus scathed.

Dudley was behaving peculiarly as well, out of fear. The last time he'd met a fully grown wizard, he'd come out of the exchange with a pigs tail,

"Still one of my favorite moments," Sirius snickered.

which his parents had to pay to remove. Dudley was clearly still scarred by the event, as the closer the time approached, the more often he could be seen rubbing his bum, and walking sideways through the rooms so as not to present the same target.

James didn't even try to smother his cackle, that was hilarious and deserved.

Lunch was a mute meal. Dudley didn't even protest at the food, cottage cheese and grated celery.

Lily shuddered in protest of imagining her poor boy eating that, thankful that the moment Harry arrived at the Weasley's they'd stuff more than enough food down him.

Petunia wasn't eating at all, but instead spent the time chewing on her tongue, as though forcing herself not to shoot something nasty at Harry.

"I'm not even going to ask for what," Remus rolled his eyes.

Vernon was the first to speak up by demanding of Harry that they'd be arriving by car of course.

That gave them all a pause, as they considered this for the first time. The most common way for them to travel was apparition, but neither of Ron's parents would attempt that with two minors.

"Maybe Mr. Weasley did get another car and flew, err, drove it there," James offered with a small smirk.

"I somehow doubt it," Lily huffed. "After the catastrophe of the last one, even with the end results."

"Well then, I've got nothing." Remus shrugged, waving Harry on with curiosity now.

Harry wasn't sure of the answer, as the Weasley's didn't own a car anymore. Mr. Weasley had been able to get one from work before though, so it was possible he'd done so again.

"Makes sense," Lily nodded in agreement.

He agreed out loud, and waited expectantly for Vernon to ask what model. He was known for judging people on how expensive their cars were,

"Can't say I'm remotely surprised," Sirius mumbled.

but Harry doubted whether Vernon would have taken to Mr. Weasley even if he drove a Ferrari.

James just rolled his eyes, he didn't need to ask to grasp that this must just be a very nice style of car.

After dinner he went back up to his bedroom, unable to stand watching the others obsessively check out the window as if a wild rhino would come up the drive any second.

Remus couldn't help a little snort of surprise at such a random comparison, though he rather liked the idea.

When it was fifteen till though, Harry went back to sit on the stairs to find Vernon pretending to read a newspaper, and Dudley managing to smush himself into a chair. Harry hated the tension building,

"Really, because I'm rather enjoying it." James couldn't help a little sneer, any discomfort those Dursley's ever carried managing to vindictively cheer him up.

as five o'clock came and then went.

"Uh oh," Sirius muttered, raising a brow in surprise.

"Maybe Arthur got stuck at the office" Lily offered with a small frown, thinking there were plenty of logical reasons as to why either he or Molly could be running late.

"Or traffic," Remus agreed, unable to get his tone quite to the carless level he wanted.

They were probably all being paranoid for no reason, but it was hard to fight off after so many stressful days in a row. They really needed this to just be some simple mistake, and not something terrible having happened to the Weasley's next.

Vernon stomped to the door, checked the street to be sure, then turned on Harry and snapped that they were late!

"And you're an arse," Lily muttered. She was sure it wasn't five minutes and he was already jumping at Harry for it.

Harry offered back that they'd probably got caught in traffic, but then another quarter of time passed and Harry was starting to get on edge himself.

Harry was trying, as lightly as possible, to dig at his feelings and wonder if that anxious feeling got worse, and was pleased to find he didn't think the night ended too badly. Surely that meant nothing disastrous happened, it really was just an innocent mistake of being late. His tone carried that as he kept reading, managing to relax the others a little bit.

At half past, he heard Vernon and Petunia conversing in mutters about how they had no consideration for anyone.

"It's not as if they could call you and tell you," Lily rolled her eyes.

How the Dursley's might have had somewhere else to be and were being kept! Petunia offered that maybe they thought they'd be invited to dinner if they were late enough.

"Who on earth thinks like that?" Sirius scoffed.

Vernon snapped back this would not even be considered! They'd pick up the boy and be gone. If they were even still coming, they'd probably gotten the wrong day of the week,

"I somehow doubt that," James scoffed, thinking that at least Ron would have mailed something to Harry otherwise.

not that they cared about other people's time.

Remus sighed, sick of listening to this man categorize the whole of wizards, he hated stereotyping in general.

Either that or their tin-pot of a car they were driving broke do- but the rest of his sentence was cut off by a cry of shock.

Lily couldn't help but start when Harry started up with that noise, all eyes now watching him wearily like Harry was fixing to announce something had been set on fire.

Harry ran for the living room just as Dudley came waddling out. He demanded to know what had happened, but Dudley couldn't bring himself to say anything. His hands holding firmly to his arse, he made his ungainly way to the kitchen.

"His safe haven," Sirius nodded absently.

Harry made his way into the living room, and found the source of the disturbance, behind the Dursley's boarded up fireplace could be heard someone banging against the wall.

The second Sirius recognized what Harry was describing, he cracked up laughing, managing to melt all tension in the room. "Someone," he managed to gasp, "someone's got themselves stuck in the chimney!"

"They tried to Floo there." Lily added with an indulgent grin.

"Why would you board up a fireplace?" James asked, a crazy smile on his own face at how absurd the idea was.

"Some Muggles prefer electric fireplaces," Remus shrugged, not bothering to cover his mirth one bit. "What I'm curious is how the Weasley's even pulled this off, Muggle fireplaces aren't connected to the Floo."

"I'm assuming Arthur worked something out with the Ministry," Lily managed while still half giggling.

Petunia had backed up into the farthest wall as she demanded of Vernon what this could be, but Harry had no doubts as he heard a voice cry out in pain against someone named Fred,

"Fred?" Remus repeated in surprise. "Why would the twins come along?"

"Why wouldn't they?" James smirked, "Just an innocent pick up of their friend."

"Probably told their dad they wanted to see a Muggle house in daylight, he'd have eaten that right up," Remus agreed.

"I'm surprised Molly let them, after the last time they snuck off there," Lily said.

trying to tell him to go back,

"How were they supposed to get back?" Sirius chuckled, "They'd have to Floo, and there's clearly no fire, or setting a fire while they're stuck in there."

James was now at least pretending to suppress his laughter as he stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep hearing what was happening. No one had an actual answer for Sirius though, so Harry kept going.

and warn someone, but then there was another yelp of pain and two voices exclaiming to someone named George, now trying to tell him to go back as well and warn Ron not to come. One of the twins began to ask if maybe Harry could help them out, and then all three began pounding at once on the wall calling out for Harry.

Harry was having trouble keeping his own amusement under a lid as he kept going. Oh he'd been able to hear every word, and though he felt plenty bad for the fix they'd wound up in, the situation was too priceless not to at least give a little chuckle.

The Dursley's rounded on Harry like a pair of angry wolverines.

The smile slipped right off of Lily's face at least, detesting that the very first thing they did was turn on Harry in anger for something he'd had no control over. It didn't matter how many times she heard it happen to him, she would never not hate it.

Vernon demanded to know what was going on, and Harry tried to explain that they'd tried to travel here by Floo, while fighting down a mad desire to laugh.

"Oh Harry, it's not mad at all." Sirius' grin was still getting wider the longer this dragged on, still picturing those three squashed together like that the funniest thing he'd heard in days. "I should know, I'm an expert."

Remus gave him the stank eye for the joke, like he would have smacked him if he could reach, and Sirius happily stuck his tongue out at him since he couldn't for the time being.

He still explained that they could go places by fire, but since they'd blocked theirs up they couldn't get through. Then Harry pitched his voice louder, directing at Mr. Weasley now, explaining this same thing that they couldn't get through. Mr. Weasley asked why on earth it was boarded up, and Harry explained it was electric. Mr. Weasley turned excited at once, demanding to know if it was with a plug?

James was definitely curious enough to ask, but strung together that a plug must somehow help run the electricity, so he squashed it and filed it away for later.

He was muttering to himself how he very much wanted to see that, when there was a final cry of pain and all three shouted Ron's name. Harry could hear his best friend's voice come out in confusion, asking if something had gone wrong. Harry heard Fred reply with sarcasm in every syllable that they were exactly where they'd planned.

All five of them fell with refreshed laughter, truly unable to stop themselves as they kept imagining how squished that tiny space was getting, and now hoping Ginny, Molly, or Percy hadn't been invited along as well.

While George added on that they were just having the time of their lives, his voice coming out muffled, like his face was against a wall.

"I can imagine," James voice quaked with laughter as he got that out.

Mr. Weasley shushed them, before deciding that he had no other choice. He cautioned Harry to get back, who retreated all the way behind the sofa.

"I guess he's going to blast his way out of there," Sirius was still wiping happy tears from his eyes, not at all sorry for laughing at the expense of the poor Weasley boys, he knew for a fact his friends would laugh at him if this exact same circumstances happened to him.

"Wouldn't I get into trouble for that though?" Harry frowned. "Magic's not allowed at my house."

"They shouldn't say anything to you, since the Ministry knows Arthur's coming to get you," Lily shrugged. "There might be an inquiry, but it would be Arthur who explains why he did it, so you're in the clear this time."

Vernon though, moved forward.

"Course he did," James lit up all the more, "and I hope he pays for it."

Beginning to shout in protest, but his warning was not heeded as there was a tremendous BANG, and Arthur, Fred, George, and Ron came tumbling out all coated in dust with rubble and loose bits of brick flying across the living room.

All five of them got one good last laugh as they pictured a clown car like tumble out of that cramped space.

Petunia screeched in fear and nearly fainted, but Vernon caught her and hid her behind him, both of them now coated in dust as well, speechless as they gaped at all of the red heads. Mr. Weasley got to his feet first, dusting himself off and checking his kids before catching sight of the other occupants and greeting them as Harry's Aunt and Uncle.

Their good mood still lingered enough that they only got a small twist of their lips in displeasure at such a statement, rather than the full blown rant of hatred each of them felt at such a relation.

Arthur moved toward Vernon, his hand outstretched,

"Good of him to start with some manners," Sirius muttered, humor still gleaming in his eyes as he now wanted to shake Arthur's hand for scaring the Dursley's crapless like that.

but Vernon shrank back, still keeping his wife behind him. Words seemed to fail them both, as the white powder began to settle in their hair, apparently aging them by thirty years.

"Guess he should clean that place out more often," Remus smirked.

Mr. Weasley glanced at his surroundings more properly now and began to say how sorry he was for this mess,

"I'm not," James said sincerely.

apologizing and saying how it was all his fault, and he'd fix it up at once. He just had to Floo the boy's home, he'd fix this up in a jiffy, and then he could apparate back. He hadn't even realized he couldn't get out this way, of course most Muggle fireplaces weren't hooked up to the Floo network, but Arthur had a special connection so he'd managed it just for this afternoon.

"Arthur seems pretty well connected all over." Lily noted, hadn't he also gotten those World Cup tickets from work? She found him a pleasant man and she'd never even met him. It didn't really surprise her though, as the longer she thought about it, she supposed several parts of the Ministry would have to go talk to the Muggle office for several things.

Harry was ready to bet that the Dursley's hadn't understood a single word of this.

"That's their own fault," Sirius scoffed. "Maybe if they were decent people, Harry would have explained all of it to them."

They were still standing there, gaping at him. Arthur didn't seem to notice as he turned his attention to Harry, asking if he was ready to go, had his trunk all packed? Harry agreed, and that it was upstairs. The twins volunteered to go get it, as they knew right where it was, having once rescued Harry from this house.

"Still love the term rescue," Remus muttered, sad how fitting the description was.

Harry suspected that Fred and George were hoping for a glimpse of Dudley; they had heard a lot about him from Harry.

"Really, like what?" James asked in surprise, as this hadn't ever come up before.

"Just some of the wilder things he's done like his tantrums and such." Harry shrugged, "I used to compare him and Malfoy a lot back in first year, plus how fat Dudley was. Had a bit of a laugh when I sent Ron that letter that Dudley was on a diet, I suppose he would have showed that to Fred and George."

This rather intrigued the others, as Harry kept himself so closed off in any retelling of the Dursley's, it was rare he ever elaborated on whatever the book showed, that it was interesting indeed he'd clearly shared some of it with at least Ron and his brothers as a laugh. It didn't erase the darker things they wondered about what went on in that house, and Harry's face still clearly showed now he didn't want to talk about it. He proved that by continuing to read as soon as he was done explaining.

Mr. Weasley agreed as they left, then began swinging his arms awkwardly as he complimented the nice house.

Lily in particular released a snort for that comment, picturing the dust coated living room because of Mr. Weasley. Perhaps now hadn't been the best time to mention that, but it was the thought that counted.

Since the usually spotless living room was still covered in bits of fireplace, this wasn't the best thing he could have said, as it set Vernon's face to a purple hue, and Petunia began chewing on her tongue again to stop herself snapping back. Still, neither said a thing.

"Something I hope keeps for the rest of their lives," Sirius chuckled.

Mr. Weasley was still looking around in interest. Harry knew that he loved all things Muggle related, and that he was itching to go and inspect the television and video recorder up close.

"Credit to him for restraining himself," Remus smiled lightly, Arthur was clearly trying his hardest to keep things friendly, though he had no idea that the Dursley's didn't deserve it.

He kept speaking to the Dursley's casually enough, telling them he knew that those devices ran off of electricity, though he mispronounced it. He could see the plugs running them, and was also aware of batteries, he had a large collection of those and was quite proud of them. His wife called him mad, but what could you do. Vernon clearly thought Arthur was mad as well,

"Well to be fair, there are much weirder things I've heard Muggles collect." Lily snickered, she didn't find it that weird at all.

and scooted to the side a bit more so that Petunia was completely blocked from view, as if he feared Mr. Weasley would suddenly lunge forward and attack them.

"Now that could get really interesting, really fast," James said almost eagerly.

Lily on the other hand raised a brow in surprise. While she detested Vernon just as much as her sister, more than she'd hated anyone in her life as a matter of fact, and loathed even giving him one spot of light, it was there when he did the act of attempting to hide his wife. As cruel as he was to her son, Vernon at least showed in that moment that he did hold concern for his own family at least, not that this made up in any way for his cruelty to Harry.

Dudley chose that moment to make his appearance, and Harry guessed all the noise must have scared him out of the kitchen.

"A marvelous feat in itself," Sirius grinned.

He came sidling into the room, watching Mr. Weasley with horror, and still keeping his back against the wall as he edged towards his parents. Arthur took another brave stab at conversation as he asked Harry that this was his cousin?

"So much credit to him for trying." Remus said again, still half laughing even as he said that.

Harry agreed that was Dudley.

"Well you're just no help at all Harry," Sirius mock scold.

Harry caught Ron's eye, then had to look away or they'd both start laughing.

"You have far more restraint than us," James beamed.

Dudley kept his hands firmly latched onto his large bottom, and Mr. Weasley was watching this with some concern. From the tone he used next, he seemed to be wondering if Dudley was as insane as the Dursley's found him, but Arthur used a sympathetic tone instead.

"Aww," Lily couldn't help but coo. Not that Dudley, or any of the Dursley's, deserved Arthur's sympathy, but it was the genuine thought that meant something.

He kindly asked if Dudley was having a good holiday, but Dudley merely whimpered as his arms tightened around his back.

"I think that translated to no," Sirius quipped.

Fred and George came back in then carrying Harry's stuff, and both cracked into identical evil grins when they caught sight of Dudley.

"Now why would they do that?" Remus asked with interest.

"They wouldn't mess with Dudley in front of their dad," Lily said without a trace of hope, she really wouldn't put anything past the twins, they reminded her too much of the Marauders.

Mr. Weasley smiled and offered that they'd better get going then, taking his wand back out, which Harry noticed made all three Dursley's shrink even farther into the wall.

"I would give Arthur all the money in the world if he'd curse them," James sighed wistfully, knowing it wasn't going to happen, but what they'd experienced this day being pleasant enough, he'd accept the defeat.

He pointed it at the grate and used the Incendio spell, causing a roaring fire to appear. Then Mr. Weasley took a pouch out of his pocket and doused the fire with the powder, causing it to turn green. Arthur instructed Fred to go ahead, and Fred made to move forward, but seemed to accidentally trip, allowing some brightly colored sweets to spill out of his pocket.

"Uh oh," all three boys sang as one.

"I've never seen wizards sweets tested on a Muggle." Lily said with just a hint of curiosity. "Do you think they'd work? I know some won't work on squibs and such."

"Well let's find out," Sirius said eagerly, waving her down, clearly no one in the room gave even a second to think this had been done by accident.

Fred made to jump around the room and collect them all, before waving a cheerful goodbye and crying out 'the Burrow' then he vanished.

"Sad he didn't get to watch his handiwork play out," James said sincerely.

George went next with the trunk, and after saying the same phrase, he too disappeared.

Harry hated to interrupt himself, somehow he just knew he was about to get to the best part, but still he couldn't stop himself from asking, "How come last time the powder had to be used individually, but this time they're all going with just one blast?"

"It depends how much is used," Remus happily explained. "The Floo will stay activated the more powder is put in, most people use the smallest amount possible and go one at a time so as not to waste and let it linger longer than it has to. This time Mr. Weasley must not have wanted to take the chance of not bringing enough, so he just used more than enough."

Harry happily nodded his thanks before continuing.

Then it was Ron's turn, and when he too went out with the green flames, Harry said his goodbye and made to leave, the Dursley's not responding behind him.

The four of them still had enough kindling annoyance to huff and roll their eyes at this now common display, no matter how much it appeared.

Before he could leave though, Arthur caught his shoulder and was watching the Dursley's with amazement as he pointed out that Harry had just told them goodbye, hadn't they heard?

"Oh they heard him." Despite James abundance of agitation at how they treated his son, he couldn't help a hopeful tone as he wondered if, finally, someone else would witness this first hand.

It was such a minor thing in all honesty, but he still crossed his fingers it would be enough that Mr. Weasley would really ask Harry about it.

Harry tried to tell Mr. Weasley to brush it off like he did, Harry didn't care.

Sirius was so eager to hear the same kind of thing, he was even momentarily distracted from wondering what that sweet would do. Was it possible Arthur would finally step in like Sirius couldn't and say something to these useless Muggles!?

Mr. Weasley didn't remove his hand though, repeating to Vernon that he wouldn't see Harry again until next summer, surely he would at least tell him goodbye?

"Half surprised he's not cheerfully waving and praising the heavens he'll be gone," Remus grumbled.

Vernon's face twisted with fury. It must have been the most galling thing to be taught manners by the man who'd just destroyed his living room,

"Every last drop of which is deserved, plus so much more" Lily hissed.

but Arthur still had his wand held loosely in his hand, which Vernon's eyes darted to,

"If only," all four of them muttered.

before he muttered a resentful goodbye to Harry.

Harry waved one last time before stepping into the fire, but before he could depart he heard a gagging noise behind him, and Petunia screamed.

"Yes!" The four boys swapped attention at once, practically on the edge of their seat to hear this play out, fully ignoring whatever discomfort this caused their injuries.

Harry turned back to find Dudley had removed himself from the wall, and instead was hunched over on the floor with something a foot long, purple, and slimy hanging from his mouth. It took Harry a wild moment to realize that was his tongue, and a purple wrapper had been left behind.

Harry had not effectively gone through that whole paragraph without having to raise his voice to keep being heard, the others were laughing too hard. Finally though he had to stop himself, he couldn't keep going he was laughing himself at the mental image.

Remus was the first to start breathing normally again, rubbing happily at his abused chest and ignoring any lingering pain he had because of it. This had been exactly what the lot of them needed, the Dursley's to get even the smallest dose of payback for what all they'd done to Harry, and for them to get a good laugh in.

Harry came back to himself soon enough, and though the others were still chuckling happily, he decided to keep going, noting that there wasn't much left.

Petunia continued to screech in fear as she ran to her boy, seized the end of his protruding muscle, and began wrenching on it like she meant to pull it out of his mouth.

"Yes, I'm so sure that'll help," Lily managed in shaking tones.

This clearly wasn't helping Dudley, who tried to splutter a protest, but was clearly unable. Vernon lost himself, now screaming at the top of his lungs himself and waving his arms about,

"Nope." James returned, "He's the one definitely doing the most good."

and none of them noticed Mr. Weasley shouting that he could fix this, pointing his wand at Dudley. This only caused Petunia to scream even louder, now throwing herself in front of her son as a shield.

"Good luck with that," Sirius snorted, still not quite in his normal intelligible voice he was still half laughing.

Lily on the other hand felt a stirring towards Petunia for the first time since the first chapter of the first book. Empathy. She'd never forgive Petunia for what she'd done to Harry, but in that one moment, Petunia was acting exactly as her sister had once done to land her nephew in that house. She didn't understand what was happening, she only feared for the safety of her child, and that one action caused Lily to flash back and remember Harry's horrible dementor memory once again of Lily doing the exact same thing. She was blinking in delayed shock, and realizing that none of them had noticed her change in demeanor, Harry was still reading.

Arthur was still yelling, trying to explain the toffee had just been a joke by his son, only an Engorgement Charm, he could fix it, at least he thought he could.

James was practically wheezing beside his wife he was trying so hard to stop himself laughing hard enough Harry would stop again, the task becoming more difficult the longer this dragged on.

Still no one paid him any mind, Petunia still half covering Dudley as she wrenched at his lolling tongue,

"Can't deny I'd like to see this," Remus muttered.

Dudley seemed to be suffocating under the combined weight of his mother and his tongue, and Vernon lost his head completely, by running over to the china cabinet and chucking a plate at Mr. Weasley.

"Now really," Lily raised a brow in surprise, "What good would that do?"

"He's panicking," Harry said with a shrug, still smiling broadly with every word.

Both by the fireplace ducked as it smashed inside the hearth, Arthur's voice now edging into anger as he shouted back that he was just trying to help.

"They wouldn't care one little bit if you were helping, or trying to burn your house down, they would be acting the exact same way," Sirius scoffed, hoping the situation could still somehow get worse.

Vernon just kept yelling nonsense as he caught up another plate, while Arthur told Harry to get out of here, he'd deal with this.

"What, no!" James all but begged. "Harry more than anyone deserves to see this play out!"

Harry didn't want to miss the fun, but Vernon's second ornament narrowly missed his left ear,

Lily couldn't help but wonder if Vernon was actually aiming for Harry, so at this point she couldn't help but agree with Arthur, she'd rather like her son to get out of there, or things really could get worse.

so Harry decided to take the advice, and stepped into the fire. Just as he cried 'the Burrow' his last glimpse of the living room was Mr. Weasley shooting the third ornament away from Vernon, Petunia still screaming and trying to wrench Dudley's tongue out of his mouth, and Dudley's tongue now as long as a python.

"I want to capture that moment forever," Sirius sighed, actually closing his eyes and mentally etching that into his memory, determined to think on that instead of something worse next time those useless muggles came to mind.

Then there were green flames all around, and the Dursley's house and everything else vanished around him.

"Chapters done!" Harry happily cheered as he stood and went to give the book to Remus.

"I think I'm honestly disappointed," Remus pouted as he juggled the baby and the book, before Harry took pity on him and took the infant. "That was the best chapter yet, and by our track record that means we've probably got three bad chapters in a row coming up now."

"Oh cheer up Remus," James tried to put that emotion into his own tone. "Harry's going to the Weasley's, he's going to the World Cup, I doubt anything bad can happen there."

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter #GoF

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