#first world art problems for real lmao

[sketchy-tour]

Nothing quite like feeling like your brush is just off in some way so you sit there staring at your settings until you give up cause it LOOKS fine only to realize mid lining a piece that your brush density was turned off. :)

I know that I'm probably the only person who will notice the slight difference in the lines. ...But dang it I'm so close to just...relining the whole dang thing!

[4dbeingguide]

there is only one sentence you need to know as a manifestor:

the 3D/physical world isn’t real. only the mind is.

disclaimers:

this is slightly rant-y though i don’t attack you, i uplift you

excuse any grammar errors!

credit to all the artists whose art was used!

let’s get into it.

you do not exist/live in the 3D, you simply perceive your own mind and assumptions in three dimensions. the 3D is an illusion. it isn’t real. the phone you’re reading this on, your surroundings, me writing this post, “other” people, they’re not real.

this will literally answer all the questions you have about LOA. examples include:

“what if what i’m doing won’t make anything manifest in the 3D?” then boo-fucking-hoo? it wouldn’t even matter because that’s not where you live. you’re 4-dimensional. if it’s happened in the 4D, it’s fucking happened! put it in your success story list. rejoice now that it’s happened. because it has! the 3D is NOT real, the 4D is so you should be checking the 4D! think about this question: “what if it doesn’t manifest in the 2D (a world of only length and width)?” i bet you’re like “womp womp? the fuck would that have to do with me? i don’t live there!” give that SAME energy to the 3D. you live in the 4D.

“where is it in the 3D?” why do you care? it’s not where you live. CONSCIOUSNESS is the only reality. you heard me. you shouldn’t give a fuck about whether it will manifest in the 3D or not because the 3D doesn’t determine reality, YOU do. why do you want confirmation from an illusion when you can have confirmation from what’s actually real (the mind)?

“but if i stop caring about whether it’ll manifest or not, it might not manifest!” first of all, womp womp then? you don’t live in the 3D. second of all, that’s literally impossible unless you directly/intentionally assume that it’s the case. the 3D literally EXISTS as a reflection/limited perception of the mind. it’s LAW that it will come. and the last time i checked, “i don’t care whether it comes or not” and “it won’t come” are different statements. but what i just find so hilarious about this one specific doubt is that you’ve literally just PROVEN your THOUGHTS create the 3D.

“i can’t manifest abc! it goes against the laws of physics/circumstances etc” lemme just get this straight. the MIND is the only reality yet you are lying and saying it has limits based off of 3D “law”? and the 3D is not real meaning the “laws” of the 3D aren’t either? the 3D doesn’t and will never be able to tell the mind what to do. that being said, you can manifest pissing a million bucks, teleporting into a villa in italy or becoming wanda fucking maximoff and developing superpowers. you can manifest hulk hogan flying across the pacific to your door and proposing to you, hell, you can even manifest BECOMING hulk hogan. you can manifest your SPs buying you three million bentleys then making out with you in each of them. you can manifest going back in time. you. can. manifest. ANYTHING. you. can. manifest. anything. you. can. imagine. you’re OMNIPOTENT.

this one is very interesting cause it’s a response to doubts! “if i keep doubting, it won’t show up in the 3D!” the reason your doubts persist is because your mind thinks they actually mean shit and are an issue worth addressing. so what if it doesn’t show up in the 3D? it’s already happened.

“but what if im one of the odd ones out? what if i can’t manifest?” despite the fact that it’s scientific law, the rebuttal for this doubt is very simple. you wouldn’t be alive lmao. being alive is a constant act of the 3D reflecting your mind, that’s literally its only purpose. it’s an inanimate, mindless, limited perception of your mind that instantly conforms to your beliefs. you are CONSTANTLY manifesting. what you’re doing is just learning how to control WHAT you manifest. (just to set the record straight. this doesn’t mean you are to blame for your problems since you didn’t consciously choose them).

“the 3D isn’t showing me what i want!” well it isn’t real lmao? why the fuck would that matter?

one of the WORST beliefs you can have as a manifestor is that the goal of manifesting is changing the 3D. i know you (probably) came in thinking that but i want you to shed that belief. the 3D is not real. the goal is to get it in the 4D, where you live. when you accomplish that goal, rejoice and move on.

this is why i very, VERY heavily dislike the statement that “an assumption persisted in will harden into fact”. no, an assumption IS a fact. only regarding something as real when it manifests in the 3D (which isn’t real) is fallacious.

“thoughts create reality” i bet you’ve heard this before in this community but i don’t like this either for this simple reason: thoughts (that you accept) ARE reality.

my biggest piece of advice to you as a manifestor is this: realize that the 3D doesn’t mean shit.

when you DO get your manifestation in the 3D, it’s perfectly fine to be happy but don’t jump up and down saying “it’s finally happened (in reality)!”. NO. it happened in reality ages ago, the 3D just caught up.

i’m gonna link some really sexy posts that will help you understand this better. most of these are scientific.

https://www.reddit.com/r/NevilleGoddard/s/AmlHe5oipA (the post is up, i don’t understand why tumblr won’t embed it)

if you liked this post, leave a like, reblog, engage, follow, let me know if this helped 🫶😭

[arcadia345]

Astro observations🌺

FYI I’m not a real astrologer, just my observations :) TW🔞

The cancer moon men I know are pretty chill and laid back + funny, but the women are so bitchy and moody😭 with a big sweet tooth

Every twin I know either has Gemini or Pisces placements

You ever meet someone and their neck just stands out for some reason added points if they smell good, most likely they’re a Taurus rising/ mars. Good example is Megan thee stallion her neck is so cute to me hehe

Aries in the chart can show you the things you were introduced to at a very young age, the early memories that you think of and say ‘That was wild lol’

3rd: could’ve started learning way before you started school(like flash cards and things) siblings and cousins, music, having access to electronics early

4th: erratic home life, the woman around you could be go getters

6th: could’ve got a lot of injuries when younger, probably couldn’t have a peaceful day even if you tried, bad experiences with animals

7th: domestic abuse, might have seen people having affairs, lots of disagreements between couples

12th:paranormal events, you could’ve had a lot of deja vu moments without even knowing, tend to have strong spiritual gifts,people having ill intentions towards you

Aquarius moon or degree/ moon in the 11th tend to have a “second mom” a person that treats them like their one of their own children, sometimes even better than their own mother does. 🌚

The people with mars in the first house I know have so many battle scars on their body

Moon/cancer in 3rd love changing their voices, and they have a bad habit of not telling the whole truth / white lies

Water sign on the descendent- people are always wondering what you’re up to, no matter how much you show them they’ll still wanna know what you’re hiding

Your first house correlates to how you came into this world, I have Chiron (ruled by Virgo) in my 12 conjunct my ascendant, uhm she said she almost d*ed having me😀 and I was a C-section baby. And the hospital did her so dirty(you know much they hate black women) they didn’t even stitch her back up correctly or drain her fluids and to this day she still has problems. The also gave her extra dosages of drugs just cause she’s a plus size woman- honestly I could go on and on but it really correlates with my cap rising and Neptune/Uranus in 1st

Mercury ☌ Sun, these people voices are just💋💋 they sound so sensual and unique ugh hard to explain it but 🥴 ex. Jungkook , Tupac

Gemini/ Libra in 2nd love collecting things like figurines makeup clothes candles plushies, could easily be a borderline hoarder tho

Ives noticed that sun in 10th have a strained relationship with their father, but their later years in life their relationship gets better, or not could really go either way, also could have money issues in their early years but ends up climbing the corporate ladder. It may take you a while to tho but just know it’ll be worth it in the end :) also they always stand out at their work place in some way, the coworker that you’re glad to see clock in at rush hour cause you know they gonna handle shit

Venus- mercury positive aspects love giving out nicknames to their favorite people 🥺if they’re always calling you cute names just know they really care about you lol

Sag moons and degrees have no chill😀 like calm down bae sag anything tbh🚬

9th house ruler in the 11th could go to the same college with their old friends or could become very popular in the area they’re in, I think they’d make good bloggers

Air signs or degrees in 5th are trend setters.

Aquarius you inspire people, they could take things and make it into their own like art

With gemini here people will “copy & paste” ur looks. But no matter what it just looks like a knockoff version of what you did lmao it just never look as good as yours

Libra here people are very opinionated on how you express yourself either in a good way or bad, neither less you guys get a lot of compliments on your style

Every time I see a Capricorn rising with Neptune in the 1st it’s like their skin is see through and fragile😯makes sense tho since caps rule the skin and Neptune fogs things up. A good example is Ariana Grande her skin looks so delicate

Pluto/Scorpio in the 11th/11th house ruler in 8th, your friends could hate each other🤺 also they could have a rough life/childhood, trauma bonding or just experiencing traumatic events together is common here

Chiron in Aries (honestly any Aries placements it just depends on where it is), most people didn’t pay attention to them in their childhood in some way so they learned to be independent because of their lack of support cardinal things fr

That’s all for today! Give me a follow if you enjoyed💕

[inkdemonapologist]

Way back before we got the BatDR trailer I had this wild theory -- basically, that the reason they couldn't show any concept art/trailers/etc was that BatDR was gonna pull a wizard of oz and suddenly be in colour partway through. So then that's why we were getting teasers like "look, its a model of A SHELF," because all the actual interesting stuff would've obviously been in colour and spoiled the surprise.

Part of the reason I thought this would work really well was that I assumed Nathan's acquisition of the Bendy IP and "revival" of the franchise in-world would be thematically relevant, rather than just... an excuse to have a second game. Like, Bendy is in new hands now, the cartoons are essentially being rebooted, and there's a LOT of thematic potential in that concept of Old vs New or the good and bad aspects of Change, and the idea that reviving Bendy in the real world would impact the ink realm was a fascinating concept to me. Now that we know the main thrust of the story........... actually I still think this could've worked with it? The sepia-toned Memory of Joey's Regret and the evil of the Ink Demon lingers over the studio and corrupts this new colourful world, while Wilson, the Man Who Killed The Ink Demon, is the one trying to forcibly extinguish these old stains and make the machine useful again.

Geez, you could tie Wilson's motivation in pretty directly actually if you dropped the ENTIRE thing where he says he's trying to BETTER THE WORLD THRU THE POWER OF THE MACHINE or whatever and instead just make him an actual janitor whose dad just gave him this bottom-tier job at his company. Give Nathan one audiolog about how his son is neglectful at work and its hard to find a job he can actually do or some such, and then you have Wilson as someone desperate to prove he deserves more. He sees his father's idolisation of Joey is naive, is able to realise the memory of Joey may be literally corrupting the business through the machine, and wants to eradicate that -- including Audrey, the most subtle infiltration of Joey Drew's influence. He's essentially the force of the New applied with no respect for the Old -- and then you could still give Wilson ties to that psychedelic neon ink from the Shipahoy battle; in fact, you could probably lean into it more: colour taken to the extreme, colour taken too far, something just as destructive as Joey's monochrome obsession.

(I've always loved the idea that Wilson isn't actually an artist and just stole the Shipahoy design while janitoring, which works great with the Shipahoy Monstrosity at the end being part crab because he couldn't actually create an isolated model to feed the machine... in this current era of The Threat Of AI Generation, the idea of wilson introducing a lot of mechanical innovation and incompetently dumping artwork into the machine to make new, too-colourful horrors in the interest of impressing his father while destroying all the old things these cartoons were first built on feels apropos lmao. obviously AI wasn't a huge talking point while BatDR was in production, but "ppl who assume more technology automatically makes art better while inadvertently destroying its heart" is extremely not new)

So the ink realm could be partially in colour (a world changed by the new cartoons), partially sepia (the infected memories of the old studio), and partially glowy neon (wilson's overzealous renovation). It'd be neat if Audrey became a bit of both -- partially colour, partially sepia -- and represented the new cartoons' ties to the old. Learning about the horrors that befell her father's old studio and the Gent technology that Wilson is now using are both relevant -- Joey's exploitation of actual artists who care was bad, and so is Wilson's complete disregard for the heart of these artists' work. The memory of Joey can't fix it because he is part of the problem -- he and the demon are the source of the monochrome infection -- so you have to be the one to bring heartfelt colour into this world, a power none of the others have; find a way to heal those trapped by old wrongs and restart the cycle in a better direction. Then, when Audrey says she wants to create a kinder cycle at the end, we have an idea of what that means and that she can do it b/c there's simple symbolism associated with it -- the new, colourful world that's neither corrupted by festering wrongs nor torn apart by Wilson's machines.

anyway. thats my half-baked idea. i still think its a shame that there WAS colour in there for like 2 seconds and they did NOTHING WITH IT!!!!

[linderosse]

I LOVE YOUR WIELDERS OF WISDOM COMIC!!!! i think its wonderful and so absolutely necessary (if u will excuse my feminism)... the art style is GORGEOUS and im just so grateful someone is giving love to all the zeldas <33

sorry that this is anon but. i dislike being perceived lmao

Thank you so much!!

And heck yeah on the representation front! I’m doing my best to write a variety of interesting characters that will help me tell the stories I want to tell. To me, the fact that they’re mostly women is both incidental and vitally important at the same time.

Tetra was my first Zelda, and I always loved her pirate captain badassery and no-nonsense attitude. I was a bit of a ‘tomboy’ (used in the non-insulting sense, simply referring to a girl who liked traditionally boyish hobbies/clothing) growing up, so I identified with Tetra real hard <3. Heckin’ loved her practical, forthright nature— and the way the games don’t hesitate to show her wackier side and how her actions sometimes get her in trouble— and how she gets out of it, with or without help.

And of course, girls can also be girly and get things done! Love the more traditionally feminine Zeldas as well; shirking feminine mannerisms definitely isn’t a requirement for a well-written female character. You can have a character wear a tiara, battle in a dress, and still be cool. Heck, you can have ’em don a soft gown, not fight at all, and still be an awesome character: maybe she genuinely wants good for the world, or maybe she controls the board with gentle magic and soft “feminine” persuasion to achieve her goals, turning foes into friends— or her pawns.

And characters don’t always have to succeed! Sometimes persuasion fails. Sometimes they argue with someone they know is right. Sometimes her sword falters. But that’s fine! That’s what makes for a good, realistic, fun character— that’s how humans are.

(continued under the cut)

See, I feel like some popular media is trending towards forcing women to be *exclusively* badass, almost flawless in their physical skill yet boyish in their mannerisms.

Like, as a random example: Peach in the Mario movie. Movie Peach no longer giggles and blows kisses, because that would be too girly. And Movie Peach is a perfect platformer and politician, because female empowerment. Same thing with Galadriel in RoP (and it’s honestly a bit different and way worse with RoP Galadriel, because her mother-name is Nerwen which translates to man-maiden and she is canonically a tomboy, but they write it so badly in RoP that not even the rest of the characters in the show respect her for her over-the-top ‘female badassery.’) And as a huge, longtime fan of both the Mario series and the Silmarillion, it kinda hurt to see those Mary Sue-esque, somewhat shallow depictions of what should be complex characters.

Now, the thing is: one or two perfect characters like that are just fine! The problem lies in the fact that many of these shows have only a few female characters to begin with, and they’re all like that. Peach is kinda alright, but Galadriel’s major flaws are barely even shown because the writing has to try to make her look badass even when she’s making objectively terrible decisions.

Because here’s the thing— depicting only perfect women and minimizing flaws isn’t supporting female empowerment. Girls have flaws too, folks. Popular media relying only on the immaculate femme fatale badass just makes for a more cliche story, and imposes higher standards on young girls who look up to these characters. And the forced boyishness forces standards as well.

Why can’t Peach flutter her eyelashes, giggle, and still knock bad guys on their asses? Or, better yet, why can’t Peach flutter her eyelashes, giggle, knock bad guys on their asses, help Mario out, also get helped by Mario, and maybe admit that it took practice for her to get to where she is now?

That’s how she used to be in the middle Mario era, like Super Mario RPG, Thousand Year Door, and Super Paper Mario. Peach was feminine and still relatable to a young tomboy like myself.

I’ve rambled on for far too long, but anyways, that’s what I’m gonna try to do here with the Wisdomverse: tell stories of a bunch of different types of people, where each of them has their own take on what it means to be Zelda.

I can’t promise I’ll be perfect at writing this either, honestly. Perhaps I’ll fall into some of the same traps— I’m sure it’s hard to avoid them.

And perhaps my thoughts on this will evolve over time as well, and I’ll later have an even better understanding of how to write the characters I want to write.

Either way, I’ll certainly do my best!

Tl;dr: I got really sidetracked, but thank you for the kind message! Glad to hear you’re enjoying Wielders of Wisdom; hope to keep building my characters into interesting and at least somewhat complex women as things progress :)

[the-s1lly-corner]

It'll be nice if you would be able to do head cannons of the TADC crew having to deal with a reader that has a biting on things problem have it and looks like a dog/pup (depending if you want to set an age range)

Like no one knows if they're just really playing into their part of being a annoying gremlin or they had a bad habit of chewing things in the real world then it being intensivize since being trapped in the digital prison

TADC cast x dog!reader who bites things! (Platonic!)

Wasnt sure whether to go with a dog or puppy reader but UHUH!!

Written on mobile! Gonna knock out some requests then I might work on art today!

This may be on the short side, I hope that's okay! I've been having some struggles thinking up hcs for TADC stuff the past few days <\3

Probably the first TADC post where I actually write the character segments in order (of them being listed) instead of bouncing around LMAO

CAINE:

You know how some people blow bubbles for their dogs to play with them, letting them chase and pop them? I feel like he'd do that with you and bubble (whether or not you view this as bubble torment is up to you, personally I don't think bubble would give too much of a darn).. may or may not help with your biting habit, or maybe it makes it worse? Really I think it depends !

Gives loads of hesd oats and chin scratches, I think!

POMNI:

Has probably caught you chewing on the dangle... bell.. end parts... of her hat when she has her back to you. Too nice to scold you but tries to politely redirect you to chewing on something else that isnt a part of her person..! Tries to ask why you chew on things, but even you don't seem to know the source so you're both just kind of.. stumped.. definitely not mean about reminding you of her boundaries

RAGATHA:

Probably tries to find you a oral.. fidget.. thing.. I forgot the proper term of them but you know how theres some stuff that's made specifically for oral fixiations and chewing and stuff? Like those chewable necklaces and stuff? Those! I think ragatha would try to find you one of those, or a safe stand in! Though.. does it really need to be safe if this is your digital body...? Has probably made you a blanket with bones on it, or maybe a bone shaped plushie

JAX:

Honestly whether or not he gets annoyed by your chewing habit is 50/50, I think! I mean it's not like he can say anything, I personally hc that he has a huge habit of fidgeting with anything and everything (though... I tend to write jax to be a bit of a hypocrite, given the "I like watching funny things happen to people" and then immediately getting mad when something funny happens to him)

Do I think he would let you chew on him, or any if his belongings? No, absolutely not. But would he grab something from someone else? Oh yeah most likely

Probably plays fetch/catch with you, if that's something you're interested in, though he suggests it in a way that you csnt tell if he is teasing you or not

KINGER:

Obligatory he gives off dad vibes so hes a dog person (is that a dad trait?? Or was I just exposed to that a lot in media as a kid?) So he kind of gravitates towards you because "dog :)". Obviously he knows you're a person, and he doesn't really do anything to treat you as anything less outside of that! Honestly you guys probably develop a father/kid dynamic, maybe!

"Hes just a little guy," he says after you take a comical bite out of the circus' walls (imagine the trope in cartoons where there's a bite out of something and theres the teeth marks)

Honestly doesnt care if you chew on his robe, either he truly doesnt mind or hes just too spaced out to notice. Tends to flip flop between those

ZOOBLE:

Similar to jax, whether or not they get onto you for the chewing is a coin toss. I think it really depends on how zooble is feeling that day! They tend to get more irritated than the others, I think, at least going off of the pilot. And they dont want to upset you, truly, they dont because you guys are friends! But zooble really values their belongings and personal space so they may get a little short with you if you decide to munch on those! Though, I think that despite the "I dont care" attitude, theyd try to find an alternative that works for you both!

GANGLE:

Too shy and sweet to tell you to stop if you start chewing on something you dont want her to; if she does eventually bring it up its probably after the fact.. tries to talk it out with you to figure out why you do that.. is it a stim? A simple habit? Something else entirely? But you dont seem to know the answer... I think she would do what ragatha does and tries to find you something you use long term as a chew; or maybe even tries to find you a habit if it's one you personally want to work on! Though she won't force you to change, if it's not something you want

[starflungwaddledee]

Okay you gave me permission so now it's time to go fully autistic

*inhale*

So something I'm really interested in (mostly for my Bandee x Marx bias) is that comic with Marx and Bandee interacting, like, what's their relationship in this au, how'd they get to that point and heck, what was even happening? also it kinda seems like Bandee may be the main guy in this au or is just really important which makes me happy as Bandee isn't treated the best by Nintendo at all (hell, Sakrai said he didn't add Bandee into smash because he didn't like him) so seeing Bandee get the spotlight always brings me joy

And about the Meta and Galacta comic, it seems like Bandee plays a factor here too, with the mention of him being what gets the most reaction out of Meta and that makes sense because canonically Bandee is the weakest of the four and most likely to die quite easily, so it would make sense for the others to be protective of him

ALSO META BEING SEALED AWAY AND GALACTA SAYING HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF, I'M ASSUMING BANDEE, DOES THAT MEAN GALACTA TAKES META'S PLACE??? HELLO???

anyway hi im really invested and also your art is fucking astounding

hell yea, fully autistic! the best kind of message! thank you also for the sweet words about my artwork ahhh! but hoo boy isn't this The Ask Ever. okay, let's get into it!

Bandee is, i think maybe obviously, my most specialist little guy ever and everything i make is likely about him in one way or another. so you're correct that he is indeed the main guy in both these AUs; he is the central protagonist which i think he deserves!!

(but he does also go through the angst blender a bit, just like... a warning. i adore happy endings but before that i do tend to meat-grind my faves pretty well in the drama machine.)

clockwork heart is actually a spin-off of awtdy (we do a little AU-ception in my household) which is our* primary au. (*a lot of my au work and headcanons are fleshed out very collaboratively with my girlfriend! the initial concept for awtdy was her idea, which i then very meanly shoved my bandee-important agenda into lmao)

awtdy sets this basic alternate world-state: during the Haltmann invasion, Galacta Knight defeats Meta Knight in battle and makes a wish on Star Dream to trade places.

this causes all sorts of terrible fun problems for everybody and basically gives rise to a bad timeline that a lot of folks do not come out of intact (rip floralia)

the Meta Knight vs Galacta Knight comic covers an important turning point in the story, where Meta Knight lets slip that he cares about Bandee the way he cares for Kirby. Meta Knight has an especially strong reaction to this for two reasons:

one is because, as you said, of the three remaining heroes Bandee is the most vulnerable-- seasoned and experienced fighter he may be, but against someone like Galacta Knight? 💦 he's still ultimately just a mortal dude. this obviously puts him at terrible risk, because Galacta Knight also considers him far more expendable than Kirby.

"i'll take good care of him" is transparently a threat and not actually... you know, kind.

secondly is because (unbeknownst to Galacta Knight) Bandee uniquely remembers Meta Knight. he knows that the timeline is screwed up and Galacta Knight is not meant to be there, and is actively working to rescue his real dad mentor. Meta Knight knows that if he's found out, Galacta Knight won't hesitate to kill him.

suffice to say the guilt of this would drive him capital i Insane!

as for the Marx "hurt like hell" comic, I am actually sorry to have to tell you that that scene is their first ever interaction in this au! 😂 in this alternate version of the story Marx is also aware of the timeline fuckery (due to his existence as an eldritch, temporal little creature) and he tracks Bandee down late in the game with a risky trade offer; which Bandee refuses. that's what's pictured in the comic!

it goes on for quite a long ways after that; though I don't know if it'll tickle your ship dynamic quite right because Marx is mildly antagonistic towards Bandee (and everyone) the whole time. so while they are cursed to be Stuck Together By The Narrative they are not really close or even particularly friendly.

they do indeed interact in it quite a lot, and I personally think Marx would gladly shoot his shot if he was offered it; but Bandee is neck-deep in a different ship for the entirety of awtdy and is especially miserable/pining as hell throughout clockwork heart.

but that's okay because Bandee is, uh-- totally fine!! he's normal. he's fine. he's very very fine and things will be very very okay.

[druidshollow]

Am I allowed to ask who Dune is? Or is that a secret for later, love your art and your storys are super cool!

DUNE POST TIME DUNE POST TIME

im the "hahaha yes.... yes" sicko guy rn

dune is a character for a self indulgent iterators but the puppets can leave their bodies au and is entirely irrelevant to the actual corners group story, so shes not at all a secret and ill post everything about her lmao. ive actually only had her for *checks watch* three days so anything i say here is subject to possible change

as per usual, first its fast fact time

"The Gift" was a heavily encrypted data file that was sent en masse across the world to some iterators, almost entirely group seniors. it included two things; how to make mobile puppets, and how to create micro rarefaction cells (necessary to power these puppets). the information on building the puppets is widely understood and the only real requirements (besides raw material) are the iterator receiving the new body's blueprints (getting these can sometimes serve a real problem depending on the iterator's past relationship with the ancients), and a functional iterator can capable of powerful purposing and processing. (the host's body can work for this so long as the iterator with the Gift is there to help).

creating the micro rarefaction cells is a much better kept secret. the information is encrypted in a way so that the iterators who received the Gift cant speak about it (this functions similarly to taboo buffers), presumably because they could easily be used to make devastating weapons. but these cells are necessary for a mobile puppet to live, so the first piece of information is nearly useless without the second.

dune received a single cell for freeing herself with as well as the blueprints for mobile puppets from an iterator from a different group that she knew well. after freeing herself she stole cells from wandering iterators and freed some members of her group. this is her group when rivers and phrases run by them;

meet space, whimsy, forks and compass! space is the only one with real relevance i think

anyhow, there are still quite a few nearby iterators from dune's local group who need rescuing in her eyes, so her and her group intercept strangers and steal their cells and neuron flies, hoping to one day catch a developer (devs are the ones who received the Gift). unfortunately for phrases and rivers, phrases iiiiiis a developer!

dune had to have killded atleast four guys before she met phrases . thats some bad karma man arent you like an iterator or

she has fun with violence, part as a genuine cruel part of her personality, but i think mostly (at least at first) as a coping mechanism for the horrid things she was doing. her bloodlust was a front, and she adopted this violent personality she forged for herself the more time went by, until she had mostly lost herself and become encompassed by it.

(( thanks @nickeeree and @zarithial for letting me kill your kids!!! you guys submitted yr refs at like the exact same time so i was like eh fuck it dune can axe them both LMAO ))

dune's little group lives in an old city complex near a still in-tact iterator named vibrant sound. (sound is uninterested in being freed; instead he helps dune track down mobile iterators travelling through their territory)

thats basically all ive got, dune still has some development to go through but for a quick tldr she's an old group senior whos kidnapping and stealing people's hearts so she can give her family legs. amidst the heart stealing she began to enjoy the heart stealing and now violence is kind of her thing. if you support womens wrongs then you have to support adamant dune. sorry

[eskawrites]

not to get all up in my feelings about art and creativity but today (at work, not even as a fandom thing lmao) one of my friends went out of her way to tell me how much she liked a piece of my writing. and the thing is, i wasn't even that attached to this piece. it's small and written for a work thing and a lil clunky and a lil too personal and i almost didn't share it, but i decided to anyway because whatever

but after she told me that, the first thing i did was go back and re-read it, because i wanted to see what she saw in it. not in a self-deprecating, 'why do you even like this?' way, but just because it meant enough to her to say something about it, and i wanted to read it again through her eyes and wonder which phrases made her stop and think, or how the themes hit home, or what part made her like it enough to tell me about it

and i do that with my fanfic sometimes, too. when someone points out a certain detail or predicts what will happen next or even just says they read this at 2:30 in the morning with their cat on their lap. i read those comments, and i go back and look at this story i made, and i remember that i'm real and they're real and the things i create have changed the world in some tiny, ultimately insignificant way--but it was enough to affect what someone was doing or thinking in that moment

and something i've thought a lot about since covid happened and the vast majority of my social interactions started taking place online (it's a problem, i'm working on it, but it's true nonetheless) is that art really, truly is a love language. and not just when you gift it to people, or when you use it to show appreciation, or however else it can coincide with the traditional love languages. but because it's a way to share a little piece of yourself. and it might be silly and it might be sad and it might be fun and it might be meaningful but no matter what, it comes from you. a lot of the time, it comes from a part of us that we can't really effectively express otherwise. i mean, i can say 'i love x ship' in a thousand different ways but that's never going to compare to pouring my heart into stories or arts or edits exploring all my favorite things about those characters and their dynamic. that's why 'bad' art from writers or artists who don't really know what they're doing is still good--because if it comes from you, if it has meaning to you, it's special

but the thing about love languages is that there has to be a recipient. sometimes my writing is an act of love for myself, and that's good and lovely. but other times, when i share writing with friends or fandom or just strangers on the internet who have a thing or two in common with me, when you become the recipient, it really does transform the work. all these things that are so meaningful to me that i turned them into art are suddenly meaningful to you, too. it's like confessing a secret and having someone say yeah, me too. it's vulnerability and acceptance and kinship and community. it makes me see the things i create in a whole new light. it makes me see myself in a whole new light.

[sarasade]

Part of me almost hopes that Viren's story arc will end in a disproportionately cruel way, you know.

I'm just so tired of seeing a character doing one good thing before they die or trying to change before they die and instead of the audience taking that as purposeful ambiguity the discussion will center around if the character was "Redeemed".

But imagine if he was punished so harshly that even the Viren haters would feel bad for him. Now that would be interesting! I've seen some dark speculation around season 5 so I'm looking forward to seeing how the show will contextualise his arc.

I don't understand why "Redemption" is such a popular talking point when centering villains (ok I actually do. I'm looking at you, Zuko).

"Sin and Atonement" and "Redemption" are deeply Christian themes. I don't think those should be a universal frame of reference to all stories.

Yes, yes, this is more of a fandom problem, not a show problem. But if people want to see a bad character harshly punished for their crimes maybe they should get that for once. I don't really mind because I think Viren, while unlikeable, is a sympathetic character already. Of course I feel for a character even if they are "irredeemable". That's what stories are for.

I don't mean it's a completely useless way to look at art but it's just- I don't know- I'm bored? Especially YouTube commentators talk about redemption constantly instead of engaging with the themes that actually are there.

Sometimes villains can't even really make up for everything they have done, just like some people in real life. Viren has committed so many crimes- like how do you even fix that? However it'd still be interesting if he tried to change. That's what I'm here for. Like Viren and Claudia are not just an antagonistic counterforce to our heros but they have a lot of going on as unique characters.

Viren has his saviour complex and values domination over cooperation. Claudia is interesting because she's both the victim and the perpetrator. It's interesting how self-sufficient she is while being deeply emotionally codependent on Viren. She has a ton of agency as a physically (magically?) strong person but not a ton of agency as an independent, emotionally strong individual. Viren and Claudia love each other but it's isolating kind of love where they don't really have anyone else but each other (Terry is really trying to get in there. Like sorry Terry you don't know how fucked up these two are lmao).

No wonder it was so easy to Aaravos take Viren's place as an authority figure in Claudia's life after Viren died. Or at least that's what I took away from Lost Child short and TDP season 4 in general.

I still think about the first information we got outside Viren and Claudia's POV about Aaravos's mirror: Runaan's warning about "A Fate Worse Than Death".

This framing device sounds really important. I've been wondering how it'll play out eventually. Is it something about Viren losing his old life he worked so hard to build, or will he lose Claudia in some metaphorical or literal way? Is it something even more personal?

Personally, I'd love to see Viren live and change as a person. There are plenty of high-fantasy male characters like him who go through that kind of transformation: Guts from Berserk, Geralt of Rivia, Jaime from GoT, Ged the Wizard... You know, characters who realise that the things they value are unsustainable or even harmful to themselves and to people around them and even to the world as a whole. Or they realise that superficial things like status and power are unfulfilling and only serve status quo. There are some parallels to toxic masculinity/ hegemonic masculinity, too.

However, I think it'd be interesting if Viren's story will be a deeply tragic one. Anyway I'm here for this.

[harukapologist]

i never noticed your blog title. i am no.2 0109 siblings enjoyer. do you have headcanons for them too? (i am begging, respectfully)

OH MY GOD YIPPIE YIPPIE FINALLY SOMEONE ASKED ME FOR 0109 SIBLINGS HCS.... Ive been waiting for an ask like this for such a long time thank you... AND YAY FELLOW 0109 SIBLINGS ENJOYER worry not i have plenty!!! for both haruka & mikoto and haruka & john

-THEY BOTH LIKE ART!!!! haruka liking art & drawing is a hc of mine that i adore... and mikoto canonically likes art, but feels that he isnt good at it. at first he watches haruka draw and praises him and then one day haruka asks mikoto to draw him something, mikoto is like "oh im not that good of an artist actually..." but then picks up the pen and haruka is MESMERIZED by mikoto's art he's like. Oh my god. Please teach me. You're an amazing artist.... and Mikoto is really surprised because no one ever praised his art like this before. And he already sees Haruka as a great artist so he feels really encouraged to draw again. and they both spend a lot of time drawing together....

-mikoto likes sketching more & is great at it, but haruka likes painting more & is great at it, so sometimes mikoto will sketch something and haruka colors it, and the other way around if they wanna experiment. and they give each other tips (Haruka is very shy to give mikoto tips but mikoto is like " I'd love to hear your opinion on my art, i want to paint more like you!!! youre so good at it!!!" and haruka is just like :D !!!

-remember from the 0105 platonic hc post that, in my post milgram AU, shidou drives haruka home from school. If Haruka doesn't walk with the other 3 prisoners who are in school, Mikoto takes him on his bicycle and drives him to school in the morning before cycling to work!!! i like to imagine sometimes fuuta has morning lectures so he joins them (fuuta is tiny enough that there won't be a space problem i Think but they'll still be kinda squished on each other ahhaha) and the bicycle ride is disastrous because mikoto and fuuta are bickering while haruka is holding onto mikoto for dear life LMAO

-speaking of cycling since mikoto likes to cycle. he teaches haruka!!! haruka is always very scared if he'll fall but mikoto is patient with him, reassures him that the safety gear is there for a reason (Mikoto has no plans of letting haruka get hurt, he always makes sure haruka is wearing safety gear when he's a total beginner) and is encouraging haruka when he makes even the smallest progression!!! like haruka could cycle for 3 seconds and mikoto is like "LET'S GOOOO YOU DID IT IM SO PROUD OF YOU" and goes to high five haruka and hug him

-sometimes the evening or night time makes haruka feel down & scared or have a lot of intrusive thoughts or nightmares, it's been a thing since he was in the real world but its more frequent and harsh in milgram so he goes to mikoto's room with his plush and just lies down next to him while mikoto is doing whatever he's doing. often when haruka does this he will end up falling asleep next to mikoto in his bed and mikoto tucks him in and sleeps next to him and holds haruka if he wants to be held. mikoto really feels protective over haruka especially when he's resting, like anyone could be entering the room and mikotos like " be quiet... haruka is sleeping!" :'3

-speaking of harukas bunny plush, he really REALLY doesnt like anyone touching it without permission (the autistic urge to gatekeep the comfort item) and mikoto understands when he asks haruka if he can touch his plush and haruka just., *shakes head nervously* but soon haruka allows him to and mikoto is delighted that haruka trusts him enough to let him interact with his comfort item!!!!

-haruka really likes mikoto's hair and one day he's like "mikoto-san, I want to dye (well... bleach) my hair too someday" and mikoto gets really excited and they talk about what colors they could dye haruka's hair when they get out of milgram :D

-haruka always "heard" of john but he actually sees john for the first time after mikoto's guilty verdict in t2, and rightfully so hes very scared of him, but when he tries to approach mikoto on his birthday in 2022 (haruka was the first and only person to approach mikoto without bad intent ever since he got the guilty verdict and i cannot stop thinking abt that), he asks mikoto about what's been happening to try and understand and mikoto just. he tries his best to be strong but haruka can see that mikoto himself has no idea what's going on and is close to breaking down. haruka just hugs him gently, gently enough so mikoto can refuse the hug if he wants, but mikoto doesnt. haruka does his best to comfort mikoto from his guilty verdict, even though he doesnt really understand. all he knows is that his friend is a good person and he wants to comfort and understand him the best he can. and then at one point haruka approaches mikoto to try and talk to him and john is fronting!!!

-so this is like harukas first time actually interacting with john. hes like Oh no. i came to talk to my friend but now hes in the Scary state (he doesnt know yet what DID is) what do i do im scared. but he actually tries totalk to john. and john is surprised that haruka, although scared of him, actually tries to talk to him and understand him. john tries to calm himself to not scare haruka further and they have a long talk, mainly haruka trying to understand john. they get closer after this

-at one point john just asks. hey why are you still trying to approach me. I'm scaring everyone off and ruining your friend's life you should be scared of me. you should be viewing me like a monster. but haruka out of everyone understands what it feels like, being viewed as a monster for a mental condition. its why he's in milgram after all. and he realizes just how similar him and john are and hes like "..uh uuh. nobody should be viewed as evil for being mentally distressed right?" and him and john both start to see some positives in themselves, haruka because "hey if my friend is a good person even though he gets scary (when john fronts) maybe i can be a good person too." and john for a similar reason because "hey if this kid here has allegedly committed a murder too but can still be so nice (probably the only nice person to john) maybe i can still have a chance to Not ruin mikoto's life"

-ohmy gosh im so sorry I spoke too much righ t aaaa.... so sorry... but john feels protective of both mikoto and haruka after this. 0109 siblings are the realest ever and i have more abt haruka and john but ill stop here hehe I hope you like these!!!

[leahrocky]

man, im rereading dm and the hounds with my bf so i can talk to someone abt it but like - my guy, tysm for how you right your girl characters. like nell ofc is super fleshed out and its clear you put a lot of care into her character but like all of the girls in your story are super characterized/actually have a personality and goals and flaws and things they dont like abt themselves and ways they need to grow and i just - its just so refreshing bc thats not super common in either fantasy or fanfic (the latter mostly bc it usually has a heavy focus on m/m ships). but like the care you put into nell and her as a character really was what got me out of my art block so in summation tysm. also i hope ur having a good day etc etc

omg :'''''')))))) thank you SOOO much for this message. This is so so so sweet of you to send in.

Like, for one, the fact that you're rereading the story is just incredible in and of itself!!! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it enough to read it twice <3 genuinely.

And ahhhh I'm so glad you like how I write the girls!!! It's like 100% something that is *vital* to me. Like... I love queer stories so much, but I don't just want to write queer stories that are solely like m/m stories, ya know? bc I love girls lmao I love women. I want to represent them in my stories as well, and I want to give them as much depth and nuance as boy characters usually receive. I agree completely that like women characters can often be sidelined in favor of the men characters, and it's something I never wanted to do in my own writing, so it really means a lot that you've sent this!!!<3333

It was a big part of the reason why I chose to have Nell's mom be the Death Eater instead of her dad. Even though William's character is like very dear to me lol, I wanted to give the nuanced and complicated history to a woman (especially bc canonically, I think Bellatrix and Alecto Carrow are the only female death eaters??? which is nuts????) (Narcissa is never shown to be a Death Eater, just Lucius's wife, from what I recall).

But yeah. I wanted Nell to have a complicated relationship with her mother in particular as a way to represent the very real complicated relationships that daughters can have with their mothers in the real world. I also wanted to show like a nuanced portrayal of a mother that would always be in a perpetual state of moral grayness.

And like with Daphne--- a lot of her character was sort of my rebuff to how JKR writes feminine characters in the original series. Like the fact that the only girly characters are like Lavender Brown, Umbridge, and Fleur (and more I'm probably forgetting) --- and all of these characters are portrayed as silly and vapid... I wanted to contradict that directly with a character who is extremely girly, and also brave and complicated with her problems. Which was part of why I had Nell dismiss befriending her so quickly in the first installment, bc I wanted Nell to be wrong about Daphne to emphasize this sort of automatic dismissal that happens for girly characters. And then like show that there's more underneath the surface for Daphne, but that her femininity and softness *is* always there too.

nywayyyyyy all of this is to say that your message was so wonderful to receive so thank you so much for sending it. I agree completely about how unfortunate it is that women characters get sidelined so frequently, and it's something I hope to never do in my writing <3

And I hope you're having a good day as well!!!!!! <3

[crazy-lazy-elder-sims]

Thoughts on wendsday i just finished it im so glad i took some time away from being busy to watch it ! I inflicted my thoughts on my discord friends even thou no one asked so here i am inflicting you with my thoughts even thou no one asked lmao (Spoilers ahead!)

In general:

I absloutely loved the show even if it wasn't exactly accurate or true to the original characters. Its still very complex and has amazing story telling, thou im not sure diminishing the addams "kookienss" was good or not. I suppose sincei always saw the " from inside of the family to outside world" pov it seemed like the addams were the most " absurd and different" thing in thier world but now we have a " the outside world looking at the addams" pov its very different how the world sees them than how they think the world sees them which i geuss is very realistic for anyone thats "different" in any sort of way.

On Wednesday:

Anyway im conflicted alittle about Wednesday halfway she sorta became a veronica mars type of character and it wasn't really on brand of her to just stop enjoying the murder and evil and just become angry vengeful instead. I like that in the end she understood that her kookiness wasn't the problem its that the people around her were different and didn't consent/ sign up to that as she never asked just assumed they would be okay like her family is okay with her.

The rest of the characters:

The rest of the characters are all amazing i love how fleshed out everyone is even minor characters like yoko or the ones who dont get lines at all still alot of backstory and character.

My absloute faves are bianca and Xavier i was team Xavier from the start lmao i genuinely shipped them together cause like the first person to make her smile was him like come on now lmao also i hope they explore more how connected he and Wednesday are i loved that his art and dreams totally backed up her visions also the whole raven thing he keeps drawing is 👀👀👀

Im absloutely interested in Bianca's story i hope that we get more of it soon and not just a few scenes here and there.

Pugsly is such a cute weird lil kid lmao i usually dont like him but here i liked him alot. Gomez was perfect and i could see alot of him in Wednesday. Morticia at the start was just off even if her dialog was great by the second vist i could see they made her more deathly paler and her mannerisms was adjusted a lil and she became Allright. Im not sure about the lil backstory the addams had because source material wise i thought they met at her sister arranged marriage to gomez but alright i guess they went to school together 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hated Tyler from the start cause of the way he spoke without moving his mouth it was wierd like he was constipated lmao kinda thought halfway he was the monster because he just looked like him alot lmao

I still have no idea why Enid's name backwards is Dine or if its even relevant at all but i love her character she is kooky in her own way reminds me of the sub genre of Alternative fashion like pastel goth or pink lolita still very Alternative but colorful i love it

On the set, coloring and costumes:

Genuinely always my favorite thing about burton movies ( f him thou glad i pirated this) but im so happy to see some directors still use real sets and not shy away from the clutter and details i had to pause several times in one scene to take it all in and notice all the little details its amazing.

The most fascinating thing about this this the use of color ( not just lighting) but the different sets rooms having specific color themes like the window in Wednesday's room alone is the most beautiful piece of story telling ever in every scene but also somthing like the therapists office being completely biege is an amazing touch.

The costumes are okay there were moments that stood out but nothing crazy Wednesday's raven dress was ofc incredible but i like her last dress in the last scene too love the lace collar! But also the rest of the costumes were beautiful too. Im still trying to figure out the materials of Morticia's dress and how its constructed lol

And i think thats all ! I hope they really do make season 2 and stick to it (pointing a gun at netflix rn)

[iantimony]

last tuesday of 2023!

i thought about making this my Yearly Roundup for last tuesday of the year but i think instead i will make this a normal tuesdaypost, and do a big yearly reflection on friday or saturday for last shabbos of the year :)

listening: twilight mirage, still in that holiday special, episode 23. the way that there are eight fuckin episodes for that special........in part 1 or 2 they make a comment how they might have to do three parts and i was like. lol. lmao, even. i'm in the bit right now where they're doing an election and it's very funny. thisbe as the debate moderator made me laugh out loud.

reading: the best part of the game awards this year was the fashion, alyssa mercante: i looooved some of these looks. love the art corset on slide 4, jay-ann lopez on slide 15, the pleated dress on slide 17, the MATCHING BABY ON SLIDE 19, and the author's whole everything on slide 20.

sff's big fat problem, r. k. duncan: i was already aware of some of the stuff talked about here but i am definitely guilty of having less overt things - i.e. goblin emperor reference in there - totally fly by me. i feel like i saw a lot of people talking about rowling's fatphobia after she went mask-off but she is definitely on the more malicious end of the spectrum, it's a much much much more baked in problem than people give it credit for. thinking also about the locked tomb, which i love, but also makes some very weird comments about ortus that i did not clock at all until someone else pointed it out. just something i'm thinking about lately.

the world is hard, dinner doesn't need to be, julia turshen: what it says on the tin. some recipe ideas, cut down to mental bare essentials.

old growth, brawlite: saved the fanfic for last. obsessed with this. it's so so good. the format is a really neat idea that i don't know if i've seen done before. like, using the 'comment section' to point out 'things in the background of shots'? genius. i am eating it up. i should have signed up for this exchange. maybe next year.

playing: fallow. i might buy some games that are on sale tho lol, i've seen both pyre and ghostwire: tokyo recommended this week. latter is no longer on sale unfortunately but i am noting it down for later.

watching: the fashion industry hates older women, mina le

history of bathing, bernadette banner

aaaand a short film that a grad student in my department made as a project. it's. not good. like i'm happy that he's doing hobbies or whatever but this short film commits the cardinal sin of being neither good nor bad, Just Boring. 2/10.

making: the [redacted project] is almost done!! i have 10 rows left. each row takes me about 15 minutes. i will definitely finish it by the end of the week, fringe and all. no pictures yet for obvious reasons but it will be in the first tuesdaypost of the year for 2024! the biggest challenge now is the point of contact on my left hand where i rest the knitting needle against my middle finger is aggravating on a sensory standpoint from overuse, so i have been knitting with one glove on that hand which has helped a lot.

there was a preview of these last week, but i added finishing touches to my gavle goat holiday cards! i used a metallic sharpie to add some horn embellishments and wrote a little note on the back, and mailed out a bunch :)

misc: the first christmas eve/day of my life where i didn't get chinese food!!! shock, horror, etc. i'm at my roommate's family's place so i experienced a real christmas situation. it was fine. her family & their home is like ... hallmark card vibes and idk how i feel about it. i want wonton soup :(

[indigosfindings]

i was gonna send a fire emoji but then i realized the thing i was going to ask was way too specific and i might as well just frame it as a question:

do you think there's space in modern horror for metatextuality that doesn't either come off as house of leaves "the metatextuality is so much bigger that it overshadows the horror" or come off as modern scream's "the metatextuality is an overdone chore at this point and we're saying the same things we've been saying about the horror movie medium since the 90's?

i love your work!

ok at long last here is my response (sorry for incoming rambling):

i have to voice two thoughts first to undergird my answer: first, i think if metatextuality isnt inevitable, it approaches inevitability--it's one of many ways that art reacts to its context: eg, a new "horror movie" or a "mystery story" etc can only be created in a world in which "the horror movie" and "the mystery story" and so on already exist in spades--the work has a relationship to existing conventions whether the artist wants to actively do it or not. either you overtly allude to & situate yourself relative to those conventions, or you don't (and end up situated relative to those conventions regardless!) ("how do you make a slasher movie for a world that knows exactly what to expect from slasher movies?" "by making one that knows that you know that!")

and second: metatext/metafiction can manifest sooo many different ways. metafiction as defence against sincerity, metafiction as idle subversion, metafiction as critique, metafiction as artistic device.

to actually address the question: i think that space must exist! a lot of metatextual horror that exists (especially recently) is wrongheaded, insincere, and/or self-aggrandizing, and i think THAT's the problem, not the metatextuality itself. (there's probably also something to be said for metatext being attractive to the artists & contexts who are likely to produce wrongheaded/insincere/self-aggrandizing art lol)

tldr: self-reference is a viable & versatile tool, the problem is when something is SO reflexive that it has no point of reference outside itself.

in terms of scariness, i don't think metatext is any more or less likely to detract from horror than any other ambition (comedy, commentary, mystery, drama, metaphor, etc). it's true that the cabin in the woods isnt scary, scream 5 isnt scary, etc, but plenty of horror works that are not meta at all arent scary either

it certainly doesnt help that a lot of metatextual art goes about it in the stupidest way possible. like, you doom yourself as soon as you try to squeeze horror out of saying the characters in the story are REAL!!!!!! because like...... no theyre not lol. (flashing back to the last horror movie, which quite literally ends with the killer looking into the camera and saying "im going to kill YOU irl!!!!!!!" like,,, suspension of disbelief can only carry you so far lmao)

my opinion is 100% tinted by the fact that i have a total soft spot for any art that toys with genre, form, and/or medium, but i don't even need to speak in the abstract: the wolf house, inland empire, and we're all going to the world's fair are all 21st century meta-horror movies that i love (and that are genuinely scary)!

(also the entire found footage genre is arguably metatextual, with all the attention that's drawn to the tools of film production. the best found footage films also question what's being omitted, what's happening when the camera is off)

[beevean]

Hey it’s so called this morning’s anon back with more things to say I suppose…

I supposed I wanted to elaborate on some things, I know you said you didn’t wanna start discourse but I really wanted to elaborate on what I meant by that proshipping comment. The term proship, from what I heard, has gone from let people ship what they want and if you don’t like don’t look to… This person is a disgustingly vile subhuman and their death should be celebrated.

Funnily enough I openly ship problematic stuff, but I constantly over complicate things to prove that I’m still better than ‘those guys’, to say that I have morality and ‘they’ don’t… But it’s so fucking exhausted. My life wasn’t good and moral and pure so why does my art have to be?

I’m sick of fearing I’ll have someone genuinely threaten my life because I cope differently than them. Ironically I used to get mad when people say it was their coping mechanism, calling it a shitty excuse to be a whatever [You can insert all kinds of fun and degrading terms there] and yet… I was doing the same thing.

So yeah… I don’t like everything but I’m realizing that everything has its place and if that makes me a proshipper then fuck it I guess I’m a proshipper

[After reading all those kind messages I wanted some way to reveal myself because surprise you actually know who I am! But I wasn’t sure how to do that without outing myself so openly… I read your Hevor fic and told you about it on Discord, it’s the only thing we ever discussed. So yeah if you manage to figure me out based on that alone then congratulations! Purity culture is ruining my life so bad I can’t even say my own name! ;3]

fdjskfksdngksjdhk talk about efficient secret codes lmao. Yes I understand now 😄

That's pretty much what happened. "Proship" started as a countermovement to the "anti" culture budding around 2016 who were all like "Sheith is actually incest because they're like brothers and that's gross guys!!!!", and at first it meant simply "ship and let ship", but then it got twisted into meaning "someone who enjoys problematic ships/ships with incest, pedophilia and/or abuse", which inevitably leads to "this person has Something Wrong with them and they're a Bad Person who Hurts people like me with their Degenerate Art! Pedo alert pedo alert! PUNISHMENT FOR A THOUSAND YEARS".

The problem is that "enjoys" means a lot of things :^) there is a difference between "aww they're so cute <3", "welp this is a kink now", and "wow this would be incredibly fucked up but I am intrigued to explore this story". But nuance is not allowed, apparently.

(fun fact: I don't really go through proship blogs because I swear they all ship sibling incest. I hate sibling ships lmao, especially when they're wholesome. But of course they're all in the "will accept anything" community, after being pretty much shunned and painted as horrible abusers who deserve to be hurt and worse - and just because I don't want to see those ships, that doesn't mean I think they're bad people who condone real-life abuse. So yeah, proship is not about having all the grossest ships in the world, you can be exclusively into the most vanilla M/F ships ever and still think "yo do what you want I'll respect you from a distance")

I also hear similar stories like yours, of people who twist themselves into pretending to be antis and be morally "purer" than others when in private they were doing the same things they were insulting others for, just with tons of shame and denial. Not judging you and I'm happy when people realize that this behavior is harmful, definitely more than being into the Problematic lol... I'm just disappointed and frustrated that the internet culture has come to this. I reiterate my points about surrounding yourself with friends who don't make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells.

Also real talk: you don't really have to psychoanalyze yourself. Maybe your tastes are tied to an easily identifiable reason, or maybe they aren't or the reason goes too deep to explore without outside help. In any case, it doesn't matter. You don't have to justify yourself in any way, let alone showing to everyone the "I'm Coping With Trauma" badge in the hopes they will forgive you - because it doesn't work. It's never about the mental health of victims, it's about "i feel icky and i don't want to :("

Disgust is not harm. You (general) have every right to be disgusted by something - I myself am not above it :P But it's not a personal attack against you, and it's your responsibility to walk away and coping with your feelings in private.