#fix it when i wake up i think

[wigglebox]

Destiel Pride - Day 5; Cursed or not

[kabutoden]

bringing back this classic look from 2013 🥺🥺 melosa bb you are doing STELLAR your outfit is literally so gender... message to ALL dont listen to the HATERS!!! follow your GOALS. never stop looking swag!!! you ARE so masc you ARE

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

examining your relationship with your art can be fun

but watch out

[incesthemes]

i'm impatient so i wanted to share my handwritten notes for 1.15 the benders because i can't wait to type it all up... it's a little messy so here are my key takeaways from the episode, formatted for easier reading:

this is another episode which subtly explores the idea that hunters are monsters. similar to 1.02 wendigo, the monster of the week is defined by its skill in hunting, which suggests that hunters are the same cruel killers that their prey are. other episodes up to now that touch on this are 1.06 skin, 1.07 hook man (less directly), and 1.14 nightmare (less directly).

dean is resistant to this hunt, while sam is enthusiastic about pursuing it. i wrote extensively about the importance of sam pursuing this case here, but regarding dean: dean not wanting to follow up on a potential hunt reveals something about his character, and here it seems to be his worries about sam's developing powers.

sam performing acts of service (hunting) in order to ensure his goodness seems rooted in his family values which are based on service to others. importantly, compare 1.22 where azazel also upholds these values while posing as john. azazel worms his way into the family dynamic and corrupts it by enforcing toxic relationship dynamics, both through acts like this and through acts of incest.

the benders are implied to be incestuous at various points in the episode. they're also paralleled with the winchesters as a whole, through them being hunters and through their undersocialized, insulated dynamics. daddy bender further draws a direct parallel by comparing himself and his family to dean during his interrogation and invites the audience to see them as similar. this consequentially invites us to see the winchesters as incestuous, but in a different way from the incest parallels in episodes up to now: this is a grotesque, warped thing, nothing romantic about it. it's peeling back the layers to reveal the ugly truth of their isolated family.

sam attempts to include himself in this hunt by telling dean to be careful. saying this is important to him because he wants to be part of this dynamic and help, even when locked in a cage. being part of his family is important to him.

sam doesn't kill any of the benders. compare 1.14, where he says it's wrong to kill humans. consistency that reveals a difference between sam and dean: sam doesn't want to see humans as the monsters they hunt, while dean assigns monstrosity based on actions and behaviors.

the episode concludes that seeking revenge will not result in healing, continuing the theme from 1.14—still, sam remains motivated to find and kill azazel, while dean seems to agree with kathleen (who is paralleled to him) and has in a lot of ways abandoned this revenge quest (hinted at in 1.16 and confirmed in 1.22). like in 1.11 and 1.12, sam is making the decisions that will result in tragedy, while dean lacks the narrative agency and willpower to challenge sam's choices and avert their ruin, because his devotion to the family is his ultimate flaw that sam denied him of developing out of in 1.11 (and we see now the effects of this, further expanded upon in 1.18, 1.20, and 1.22). the "moral" of the episode runs directly contradictory to sam's choices, and the warning signs are ignored as sam continues his hunt for azazel.

actual notes under the cut because there's a lot of them!

[shouts-into-the-void]

No, actually, my pet peeve is when I am consistently very upfront and transparent about the fact that I'm not this super sweet angel of a person and I have Severe Mental Health Issues and instead of listening people decide that they somehow know better, only to turn around and get pissed off at me when I turn out not to be a super sweet angel of a person and show symptoms of severe mental health issues—

[widevibratobitch]

so what that i slept in for the exam. my voice teacher just called to talk about yesterdays concert and said some truly insane shit that made me cry again (but like. in a good way lol) so who even gives a shit lol

[astriiformes]

.

[kakejiszkas]

guys i feel so so awful rn :(

[jackexmachina]

you fear me. not love, not respect, just fear. cas... sam, you have nothing to say to me; you stabbed me in the back.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[khaoticqueer]

ive been wondering why ive been coughing and feeling shitty the past several days and worried I was sick. but I think it was my partner's laptop battery swelling and possibly releasing toxic gases or smth bc once we took it to be disposed of we both started feeling a lot better 💀

[criscura]

I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.

I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.

It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.

I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....

[starryeyeddreamer21]

I listened to music instead of sleeping, read a radioapple fanfiction, and then ate so much spaghetti I'm in physical pain

Alright time for bed

[parasitic-saint]

wasting a whole week by sleeping is making me want to cry

[graciousdragon]

due to Certain Events (pipe leak in the basement) i was not able to post about this earlier but i will do it now

so in my dream last night i was in target (the version of target i see in my dreams anyway. it looks nothing like my local target) and i was looking around in the clothing section and there was a bunch of folie à deux merch there for some reason? i remember a purple shirt with a picture of the album cover on it and then a red shirt that also had the album art on it but the one that stood out to me was a shirt that looked a lot like a pajama shirt that i have except it was not meant to be a pajama shirt and also had a zip-up collar. it was off-white colored and it had thin dark stripes and there were song lyrics embroidered on the center of the shirt in green thread. i noticed that at least two of the words were comically misspelled. in my dream i recognized them as lyrics from a song on folie à deux but i couldn't remember which one (i think in the dream i might've thought it was w.a.m.s.??), and the only two words i can remember seeing in my dream were "angel" and "cjke" (cjke being one of the misspelled words)

idk i just thought that was silly. my subconscious-generated fall out boy merch with misspelled nonexistent lyrics

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THIS MOVIE I DO ACTUALLY