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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!

Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.

Chapter 1 ⋆ Chapter 2 ⋆ Chapter 3 Chapter 4 ⋆ Chapter 5 ⋆

Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.

Chapter 9

“I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner.

The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?

God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily.

It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call.

I looked petrified .

Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him.

What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here?

You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.

I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .

But I didn’t want that.

I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair.

I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down, they thought that all omegas were scum.

Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets.

And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose.

He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .

He just didn’t act on them .

Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.

A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face.

I felt nauseous at the thought of it.

Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact.

He came here, i thought desperately.

He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else.

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .

“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair.

I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me.

His scent.

I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.

He looked incredible.

There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.

He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.

When he caught sight of me, he just blinked.

I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life.

I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over.

“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.

His eyes danced with warmth.

“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly.

“Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .

He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.

“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered.

And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it.

I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.

“I didn’t miss you, at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly.

“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades.

And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head.

"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was.

“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.

it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting.

I’d forgotten how warm he was.

Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that.

“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.

“Soeun?” I asked curiously.

“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.”

Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.

I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach.

“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.

“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment.

I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing.

The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.

“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing .

“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly.

“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.

“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically.

“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.

“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”

“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily.

“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.

“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.

“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that

“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment.

I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos.

And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching.

“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.

“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print.

“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.

He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.

And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.

I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace.

“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently.

“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.

I choked out a sob.

“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”

Jungkook’s gaze softened.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life. Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.

“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Wait… was he going to?....

“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.

And just like that the world ended.

Or so it felt.

It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.

Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.

“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”

“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”

“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.

My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.

“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.

How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?

“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.

I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.

Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..

Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.

A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.

“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.

Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.

The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.

She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.

Hard.

A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me. Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….

Because I was the reason, she was distressed.

My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.

“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.

“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”

Stranger…. Was that what I was?

“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.

“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face. A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.

He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.

“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .

“She doesn’t remember me…. “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.

And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me, when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….

All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….

And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.

“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…”

I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .

Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery.

“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.

“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”

“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.

Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.

“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “

Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.

I choked out, sobbing.

“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”

You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….

“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…”

I stared at him.

“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.

“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss. I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here. ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.”

What a joke.. What a fucking joke.

I smiled shakily.

“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”

His gaze softened and he smiled.

“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”

I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.

Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.

It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.

Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….

What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….

Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.

I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.

“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.

This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……

“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”

I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….

How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?

I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now, Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

But…

I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….

But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.

“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.

“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“

“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”

The doorbell rang, startling me.

“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.

“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.

Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.

“Ms. Kim….”

I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.

“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”

She held her hand out and I shook it gently. Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.

“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.

“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.

I blinked.

“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”

“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”

I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?

I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.

“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.

Hyorin smirked at that.

“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”

“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.

“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”

I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .

“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.

“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.

“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.

“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.

“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.

“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“

“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.

“Heejin…”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”

Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.

“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.

“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”

“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“

“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”

I shook my head as he stared at me.

“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.

Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.

“Whatever. Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”

I stormed out of the door, shaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”

Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.

“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“

“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.

“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.

“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art? And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”

Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.

“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”

I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…

Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook was dating.

Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.

I wanted to slit someone’s throat.

Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag, and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.

I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.

“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”

I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?

Annoyed, I sat up.

“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.

“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”

“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.

“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”

I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.

“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.

This was definitely not Jungkook.

“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.

“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..

“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.

“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”

“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.

The sheer relentlessness of this day…..

“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”

“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.

“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.

“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.

I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.

“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.

“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”

“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”

“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.

I sighed.

“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.

“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.

I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.

“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.

“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.

“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.

“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.

“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.

I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.

“I’m….” I bit my lips, “ Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.

“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”

I gawked at him, stunned.

“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”

He laughed.

“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.

“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a sour taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled, “ Also, You’re very beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.

“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.

“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.

“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”

“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?” He asked casually and I blinked.

“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”

He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.

“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”

He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of flowers, holding them up for me to see.

“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”

Wow.

Subtle.

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.

“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.

Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.

“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.

“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.

“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.

“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.

“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.

“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.

“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”

“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.

“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”

“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”

He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.

“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.

I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.

“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”

I sighed.

“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.

Jungkook went perfectly still at that.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.

He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.

“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.

“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .

“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.

“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”

“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”

Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.

“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”

I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.

“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”

I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.

“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.

“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.

“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.

“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.

We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.

“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .

I breathed shakily.

“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.

“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.

“What-“

Jungkook pulled away staring at me.

“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.

“Jungkook.”

“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.

“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.

“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.

“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.

“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”

I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.

“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”

“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

I pulled away to glare at him.

“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”

“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”

I felt my body sag in disbelief.

“Jungkook that’s-“

“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”

“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.

“ You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?” He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”

I went still.

“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.

“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.

“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.

“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”

I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.

“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly. “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.

I stared at him.

“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.” He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.

I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.

But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.

It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.

“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.

“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.

“What did he say?”

“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “

I nodded.

“Fair enough. And what do you think?”

“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”

I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.

Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.

“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.

“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”

Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“ What?” I asked roughly.

He swallowed.

“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”

“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “

“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .

I flushed, looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”

“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“

He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.

“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”

“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.

“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”

I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.

“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry, “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”

His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.

He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.

“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.

I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.

“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”

Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much.

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#bts smut #bts smut fic #bts fics #bts fanfic #friends to lovers bts au #jungkook abo #jungkook smut

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wlwmarvelenthusiast · 3 years

Text

Turn Your Luck

Summary: After a day filled with bad luck and a series of unfortunate events, Natasha manages to turn your day around

Pairing: Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: None

Words: 6,167

When you woke up in the morning and smacked your big toe off your bed frame, you didn't even think twice of it. It sent a jolt all throughout your foot, but after a few swear words, you were already feeling a little better. You didn't bother making the bed you'd just stood up out of. All your life you'd reasoned that it wouldn't be 24 hours before you just messed it up again. You grabbed a towel and moved into the bathroom. The hot shower made you forget all about the sore toe you'd been sporting only a moment earlier.

You were feeling great when you stepped out of the shower. The warm water had always instilled comfort into your very bones even this early in the morning. You wiped some of the condensation off the mirror to brush your teeth. The tube of toothpaste was completely empty, and the drawer where you usually kept the new ones was also barren. You rolled your eyes at your own irresponsibility, before brushing your teeth without any toothpaste and then using some mouthwash to try and compensate for it. You stepped out of the bathroom.

You got dressed in your favourite white shirt and black pants before making your way into the kitchen. You tossed your phone onto the counter as you passed it on the way to the small kitchen table. You were after the fruit bowl, which was already needing a refill. There were still a few apples left, though, and you were expecting to have one for breakfast. You were mistaken. You pulled the empire apple out of the blue bowl to find the bottom had grown immensely soft and was clearly not in any condition to be eaten. You were disappointed but tossed it into the compost bin and moved on.

Humming a soft tune as you moved, you popped a pod into the single-serve coffee maker and pressed start. You were moving toward the fridge in no time when a strange noise caught your attention. You whirled to face the coffee maker. Instead of the steady stream of coffee you usually got, it was spraying the hot liquid like it was a shaken pop can. You jumped behind the small island, using it as a shield. Thankfully, you'd managed to keep your white shirt safe from the wrath of the coffee. When it stopped, you finally dared step back into the kitchen. The dark liquid was dripping down every nearby surface. You huffed, running some paper towel across the biggest surfaces quickly.

You gave up on the coffee. It seemed you weren't going to get it anyway. You glared at the machine as if it had intentionally smitten you. Instead, you reached into the fridge instead and poured a glass of orange juice for yourself. You sipped it before setting it back onto the countertop. When your phone buzzed and indicated an incoming message, you reached for it. Your elbow hit your glass and it fell onto its side. The orange liquid spilled off the counter and into your white shirt. You gave the mess the middle finger, tossing a dishtowel on it to soak it up, with the intention of actually cleaning it after work. You already had to clean the coffee up anyway.

Any attempt at breakfast was abandoned. After the three kitchen incidents combined, you were convinced you'd be better off heading to some drive-thru on the way to work. Now in a new blue shirt, you grabbed your bag and headed out your front door. You unlocked your car, slid into the driver's seat, and hit the ignition. The car sputtered for a few seconds, before refusing to start. You tried again, and then again, before groaning, taking out your frustration on the steering wheel in front of you. You stood up and stepped back out of the vehicle, slamming the door behind you with much more force than necessary.

Then, it was off to the bus stop. You headed down the sidewalk to the nearest one, pulling out your phone as you walked so you could check your app to find out when the next bus was coming. When you saw big red letters informing you that the bus was halted until further notice, though, you had to refrain from throwing your phone hard into the concrete. You supposed you should have had a little sympathy for those in the accident that had halted your bus, but you couldn't find it in yourself right then. Your morning was not going well.

It was a good thing you hadn't smashed your phone against the sidewalk. It was the only thing you could use to get you to work now. You switched apps and ordered an Uber to come to pick you up. When the driver arrived, you climbed into the back seat and gave him the address of your place of work. He nodded and pressed his foot down on the gas. Your eyes had been glued on your phone, but your gaze flickered at the driver's movement. He was adjusting the mirror and you were absolutely sure he'd angled it to face you a little better. You could have puked when you realized the creep was checking you out. You didn't say anything, at this point just wanting to get to work and be done with it.

You practically sprinted into the building when you arrived. Security didn't seem to mind your rush, having seen your face every day for over three years anyway. You hopped up the stairs two at a time, faster than the elevator would have been able to carry you anyway. When you reached the meeting room door you took a few seconds to catch your breath, not wanting to seem too flustered in your professional environment. When you finally pushed the door open, everyone was rising to their feet. Their eyes all darted up to glance at you. You smiled sheepishly.

"You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry." That was honest. You might have been frustrated, but you hadn't wanted to inconvenience any of your coworkers as well. "I've really had a rough morning."

Your boss nodded. "We've all had those days. I'll send you an email and give you a summary."

You thanked him and left the meeting room with everyone else. You trudged into your office, throwing your bag to the floor, and refraining from slamming the door behind you. You collapsed into your office chair and closed your eyes for a brief moment. But you didn't have time for that. The paperwork on your desk needed your attention. You gave it. The hours you spent on all the files, emails, and documents were the smoothest thing that had happened all day, even if it was mind-numbingly boring and felt absolutely endless. It might have been smooth sailing, but it didn't brighten your spirits at all.

When your phone rang, you reached out blindly until you felt your hand come in contact with it. You shuffled it until it was upright in your hand. You were so completely absorbed in the document that was displayed on your computer screen that you didn't even bother to look at your phone as you fumbled to slide the answer bar. Only when the incessant ringing had finally ceased did you know you'd successfully answered the call. You hesitated before you slowly raised the phone to your ear, eyes still scanning the lines in front of you.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hun."

Immediately you regretted not checking the caller ID before answering the phone. You could have kicked yourself. In fact, the move was so ridiculously and incredibly stupid that you could have beaten yourself to a pulp. The voice on the other end of the line was familiar, completely unwelcome, and not a surprise after having the day that you were having. You turned away from the screen, resting your elbow on the desk and massaging the migraine that was beginning to form in your forehead. You sighed heavily, sure she heard it.

"Hi," you stated. "What?"

"Hun-"

"Please stop calling me that, I already asked you."

You had asked her that. Multiple times. You'd broken up months ago after she'd broken your heart. Catching her in bed with someone else had left you shattered and unsure if you could trust anyone. You'd been okay for a couple months now after some comfort and reassurance from your best friend, who you were having dinner with tonight. You glanced at the time. Your attention was unfortunately brought back to the girl on the phone, though, when she sighed your name as if she were the one who was hurt. She had no right to be hurt.

"I just-"

"I'm working," you finally said bluntly. "Is it urgent?"

"No. No, I'm sorry. I... I can call you tomorrow."

You wanted to snap and tell her not to bother, but you didn't. You just nodded despite her not being able to see it, said goodbye, and hung up. Once more you were faced with the urge to smash the stupid phone. Once more you fought it, instead shoving it into a drawer so you could ignore it and work on the mountains of paperwork you had to get through before your six o'clock reservations. You got back to it. Soon enough, the information was able to push your ex far from your mind. You didn't want to think about her anyway.

It felt like it had been eons since you'd arrived at work, and yet, according to the clock in the corner of your screen, you still had over an hour until your reservation. You might have slammed your head down onto the desk in front of you had two things not stopped you. The first was the migraine that was still throbbing in your head, and the second was the ringing of your office phone. Even though you knew she couldn't call you on here, you checked the caller ID before you picked up this time. It was the front desk.

"Hey, Tamara. What's up?

"There's someone here for you. She said you're going to miss your reservations."

"Reservations? It's only 4:45."

Tamara hesitated. "Daylight savings. It's 5:45."

You had entirely forgotten about that and even if you hadn't, you would have expected the computer would auto-update something like that. But you had forgotten, and the computer hadn't jumped forward, and now you were going to be late, and you still hadn't turned in the file that you'd promised to turn in today. You groaned in frustration, but transferred the file to a flash drive, shoved it into your bag, and left your office. Clearly, everyone else had remembered the time change, as the office was empty.

You cursed all of your coworkers in your head. You made for the elevator. When you stepped on and hit the button to bring you down to the lobby, you actually crossed your fingers. With your luck, all of the cables on the elevator would snap and you'd plummet all the way to the parking garage and die in a fiery explosion. Thankfully, your little gesture of luck seemed to work, for the doors slid open safe and sound in the lobby. As you stepped out, though, your bag hit the door, and the company ID snapped off and slipped in that tiny little crack between the elevator and the floor and out of sight. You cursed loudly.

You didn't dare shine your flashlight down the crack to try and see how far it'd gone; either your phone would have gone down after it out the doors would have slammed shut on either side of your skull. Neither of those things were a chance you were willing to take. You abandoned your ID and continued to the front desk, letting Tamara know what had happened. She nodded in understanding before pointing out your best friend, who had come to collect you after you'd let her know this morning that you'd taken an Uber to work. You approached her and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey," she said brightly.

"Hey, Nat."

Natasha Romanoff was the best thing to happen to you all day. She was your very best friend. Too, maybe you wanted her to be a little more. She was the most beautiful woman you'd ever laid eyes on, the red waves on her head only accentuating her emerald green irises, which sparkled when she smiled at you. That was only her physical beauty. Though she was, to most everyone that knew her, a tough, scary Avenger, you knew it was a façade. Natasha was the kindest, most generous, selfless, and caring person you'd ever had the pleasure of knowing.

"Tamara tells me you forgot about daylight saving time started last night."

"Shut up," you grumbled.

"Irritable because you lost an hour of sleep?"

"Nat," you said, already feeling bad for snapping at her. You rubbed your head. "I'm not having the greatest of days."

That was how your friendship with Nat was. You both understood that not every day was a good day. She tried to convince you not to compare, but you especially understood that. Natasha had been through hell on Earth when she was a child and you wished with every fibre of your heart that you could bear some of that for her. But you couldn't, and you were sure that if you could have, she wouldn't let you. So instead, you understood the bad days, and in turn, she did too. When you stated that today was one of those days, she turned to you with concern sparkling in those beautiful eyes.

"You okay?" She asked.

Your heart fluttered when her hand took yours.

It was a friendly gesture, of course, but you couldn't help but wish it otherwise. You wanted to hold her hand and have it not be just as a friend. You wanted to be able to intertwine your fingers with hers and squeeze her hand tight and feel that constant touch against her. You didn't want it to be friendly, you wanted it to be more. You wanted it to be so much more. You wanted to call her yours and for her to call you hers. But she was just a friend, and it was far better than nothing.

You hadn't always believed that someone could fall in love without some sort of a romantic relationship leading up to it. Now you realized it didn't need to be romantic. You and Natasha were close. You were closer than you'd ever been with anyone before. Because of that relationship, you knew you loved her. You were head over heels in love with her at this point, and you'd realized that a little while ago when you caught yourself fondly admiring her as she drummed her fingers against the table, deep in thought. It was a habit that had once had the ability to drive you up the wall.

"Hello?" She tried again. Her hand squeezed yours.

Your stomach flipped. "Yeah. I'm alright. Just waiting for my bad luck to run out."

"What happened?"

"What didn't happen?" You scoffed. "My fruit is all spoiled, my coffee maker broke, I spilled orange juice on my favourite white shirt, my car won't start, my bus wasn't running this morning, my Uber driver was a creep, I missed my meeting, I almost missed our reservations, I lost my ID badge and... she-who-must-not-be-named called."

Natasha's eyes darkened, her hand gripped yours tighter, and her gaze moved to meet yours. You took a chance and swiped your thumb over the back of her hand to try and get her to ease the tension out of her muscles. It seemed to work, as she relaxed a little. Her shoulders moved back down, the crease in her eyebrow lessened, she loosened her grip on your hand and exhaled carefully. She nodded in thanks, green eyes once against soft and gentle as she searched your eyes. You knew she was looking for any hint of you being upset. You weren't, though. You were with her.

Natasha hated your ex-girlfriend about a hundred times more than you did. She'd begged you to let her sneak over to her house at night and slash her tires and egg her house. You'd given that a firm no, not wanting Nat to get in any sort of trouble. It was Natasha's idea to never speak her name again, and to burn a bunch of photos and clothes that were left behind at your house. She'd gone so far as to have the bench you'd once carved your names into removed from the park and replaced with a brand new one... on Tony's Starks card, of course.

"What did she want?"

"Dunno. I told her I was busy," you actually laughed a little for the first time that day. "It wasn't exactly a lie. I was swamped today."

"Hey, if Fury is overworking you, I'll kick his ass."

Imagining Natasha kicking Nicholas Fury's ass was utterly amusing. You had no doubt she could, but Fury was a force. She'd kick his ass and the next day half of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be at her doorstep to retaliate. But he was a good boss. It wasn't his fault you'd procrastinated your own work for days. That was on you, and you knew it. So, you shook your head no, he wasn't overworking you. She seemed satisfied by that, but the topic of your ex wasn't dropped yet.

"Next time she calls you can direct her straight to me."

"Tasha, you won't answer."

"Damn right I won't."

You laughed again. It brought a smile to her face too.

With that, you continued on down the street without another word of she-who-must-not-be-named. You had almost reached the restaurant where Natasha had left the reservations when you stepped on something that most definitely was not concrete. If Natasha hadn't had your hand, your leg sliding out from underneath you would have left you on your ass. She held tight to your hand, her other arm catching you around the waist. You had to force yourself from blushing red as a tomato.

You glanced down at what you'd stepped in and could have punched someone. The white paint that was being used on the storefront had spilled onto the sidewalk and of course, you'd stepped in it in your new, black shoes. You scraped the bottom of it off on the sidewalk, grumbling all the while. Natasha had let go of your hand when you'd tugged it away from her to wipe the excess paint on the side of your shoe onto the post of the 'no parking' sign next to you. It was still ruined, but at least you'd gotten enough off that you wouldn't stain the restaurant's floor.

"You weren't kidding with the bad luck, huh?"

You shook your head no. You motioned onward, though. She got the hint, and you closed the distance between you and the restaurant. You shifted your bag on your shoulder as you stepped in, hoping they wouldn't notice the wet paint you were tracking onto their floors. If you managed in and out without them seeing, you'd be alright. It was New York City. You were sure people had walked in with worse things on the underside of their shoes.

You watched Natasha closely as she gave her name for the reservation. You hated how the host eyed her even more than you hated how your Uber driver had eyed you this morning. You didn't want anyone to eye her like that. You wanted to be the only one allowed to look at her like that. You knew you weren't, though. You ripped your gaze away from where it had been travelling along her jawline just in time for the host to arrive and lead you to your table. You sat across from her, keeping your eyes down and you collected your thoughts.

"What are you having?"

When you looked up, her eyes were trained on you. Her eyes were your absolute favourite part of her. They always shone so brightly, and so clearly expressed whatever she was feeling. They sparkled like they could see into your very soul and were so deep you could get lost in them for hours. Even the colour was perfect. They were that amazing shade of green that had very quickly become your favourite colour. You often found you'd been staring into them for a little longer than what might be considered normal. Now was one of those times. You looked back down at the menu.

"I'm not sure. Definitely a drink," you hummed. "Though I might get poisoned."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think your luck is so bad that your assassin will choose to poison you today."

No, because she would protect you from anything. She always had. You might have been a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and perfectly capable of protecting yourself, but she was always stepping in front of you to defend you. You couldn't say you minded. You liked having her at your back. Some people had a physical location where they felt safe. You didn't. Natasha Romanoff was your safe place. When you were with her, you felt like nothing in the world could touch you. She wouldn't let anything hurt you, and you wouldn't let anything hurt her.

Soon enough the waitress was stepping up to your table and taking your order. You gave yours first, opting for a simple fettuccine alfredo. Natasha gave hers, unaware of the way you watched her lips moving as she talked. When the waitress left and she looked back to you, your eyes were cast toward the window, watching a young couple pass by, huddled close together in the cool March evening. When she called for your attention and you gave it immediately, looking over to her. She sipped her wine as you did.

"You said your car wouldn't start?" She said.

"Yeah. It keeps sputtering on and on."

"I'll drive you home and take a look at it tonight. I know a thing or two about cars."

It was a good thing she did, because you knew absolutely nothing about what was going on under the hood of the car. All you could think was that maybe the battery had died on you, but that wasn't possible. If you'd left the lights on, you would have been able to see it through the window in your bedroom the night previous, and you hadn't. There was no other reason the battery could have been drained. You'd driven the car yesterday from your house to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s New York location. You might not have known what the hell was wrong, but Natasha would figure it out in seconds. The thought of her bent over to study the underside of the hood made you shiver.

The image was pushed from your mind when the waitress returned with your food. She placed your pasta down in front of you and you thanked her politely. She set Natasha's down as well. The redhead smiled widely and after double-checking that everything was alright, the server left the two of you to your dinner. Natasha glanced up at you, a very amused smile playing on her lips. You knew exactly what it was about, too. You'd gotten the wrong order and said absolutely nothing of it. Honestly, you didn't really care. At this point in the day, you just wanted to eat.

"You could've said something," Natasha teased.

"It's nothing. I'm hungry and this is just as good."

"We can still say something."

"It's fine," you assured.

"Let's stop and buy you a couple hundred good luck charms on the way back to your place."

You laughed aloud.

Dinner was good, despite having gotten the wrong order. You suspected that was due to Natasha's presence. The two of you had been exchanging stores of the craziest missions you'd ever gone on. Of course, she was winning. She was an Avenger. Your missions as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent were anything but boring, but they didn't compare to the alien invasion last year that Natasha had been at the heart of. You'd been helping from the edges of the city, evacuating civilians and the like, but you suspected she'd killed hundred more of the Chitauri than you did: one.

Before long you'd both finished, and the empty plates were cleared away. The server returned to you with the bill. You made sure your card was out before Natasha could even think about trying to pay. They collected your card, and you gave Natasha a very smug little smirk. She only rolled her eyes and thanked you softly. You thought all was said and done when the server returned. You prepared to leave but she shook her head, signalling you to stop what you were doing. She reached out, handing you your card back. You took it.

"I'm afraid the transaction isn't going through."

It seemed that your bad luck had struck again. You were fully confident that there was enough money in your account. There had been last night when you'd checked it, anyway. Either you'd had the misfortune of your card deciding to kick the bucket while you tried to buy dinner for Natasha, or even worse, someone had gotten into your bank account and cleared it out. That thought made your heart drop into your stomach as you reached for your phone, hardly noticing Natasha pulling out her own credit card this time.

You prayed for one tiny bit of luck today. Your prayers went unanswered. You logged into your online banking to find that someone had managed to get your credit card number and had been online shopping all day. Your card had long hit its limit and you were already dreading the phone call you were about to have with the bank. You huffed as you set your phone down roughly on the tabletop. Natasha glanced over at you as the server took her card this time. She raised an eyebrow. You were sure smoke was billowing from your ears.

"Luck isn't turning yet?"

You didn't answer that. "Thanks for dinner, Natasha."

She laughed. When the server returned her card and wished you both a good evening, she took your hand and dragged you back out the doors onto the noisy streets of New York. She was leading you back to S.H.I.E.L.D., where you knew she must have left her bike. When you got there, she scanned her ID and brought you both down into the parking garage. She brought you right to the motorbike and lifted the helmet off from where it was hanging on the handlebars. She reached out and set it on your head, doing it up underneath your chin. Her fingers brushed your skin as she worked at the straps.

"Normally I would never condone riding without a helmet, but I only have one. This head," she said, rapping her knuckles twice against the helmet on your head. "Is much more important than mine."

"Is not," you laughed. "There's hundreds of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, but there's only six Avengers."

"And there's only one you," she insisted. "The helmet stays on that pretty little head of yours, and that's final."

That compliment seemed to awaken the butterflies in your stomach. They were still present when you both climbed onto the bike. They fluttered even more when Natasha told you to put your arms around her and hold tight. You could have stayed like this forever if she'd asked you to. You almost wanted her to ask you to, because you loved the ways your arms fit perfectly around her waist. Facing forward, she wasn't able to see the smile that was growing on your lips. Maybe all that bad luck was to make up for this.

Reluctantly, you took your arms off from around her when she pulled into your driveway. She put the kickstand down and took the helmet once you'd pulled it off and handed it back to her. You straightened out your hair a little bit in the reflection of your car window. Wordlessly, Natasha had moved to the hood of your car and tapped on the red paint to get your attention. You unlocked the car and popped the hood for her. She unhooked the latch and lifted it up, studying the inside carefully. That scene you'd been picturing earlier was coming true before your eyes.

"Start the car for me?"

You nodded. You dropped your bag on the doorstep, digging through the pockets until your hand had closed around your car keys. You withdrew them by tugging on the dinosaur keychain that Natasha had once given you after winning it at the arcade, where you'd spent hours at all the different games. You slid into the front seat, turning on the car when Natasha gave you the thumbs up. The car sputtered loudly. Then it made a sound you might have mistaken for a gunshot. The backfire nearly made you jump out of your seat. You quickly got out.

"You alright, Nat?"

"I'm good," she nodded. She moved away from the car. "It's probably just your spark plugs. When's the last time you had them replaced?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Hell if I know. I drop it off for a tune-up and expect them to tune it up."

Natasha laughed. "I'll grab some tomorrow and replace them for you."

You nodded. You watched as she reached up and grabbed the hood of the car, closing it again. She rubbed her hands against her pants. You clicked a button on your car keys, locking the doors. The lights flashed to indicate that it was indeed secured. You fiddled with the keys in your hand to get the house key out, opening your mouth to invite Natasha in as well, but found you couldn't find the golden key. You growled at nothing and dug through every pocket in your bag to see if it had fallen off in there, but there was no trace of it.

"My house key is missing."

Natasha actually laughed at this. "Did you walk under a ladder this morning? Spill the salt? Break a mirror?"

You glared at her. "Can you help me get in through a window?"

She nodded. You both moved around to one of the windows that you'd left open last night, after telling her you weren't sure you had locked it when you shut it this morning. Indeed, she found that once you'd removed the screen, she was able to slide the window open. You linked your fingers together to make a spot for Natasha to use for leverage. You boosted her through the open window and then moved back to the front door just as you heard the deadbolt slide out of place.

"My hero," you grinned as she opened the door. "I owe you a drink. Come on."

"I still have to drive home."

"Stay the night," you offered. "If you don't, I could very well just get murdered tonight."

Natasha laughed. "Well, I'd better stay and make sure you're okay, then."

You smacked her gently. She knew her way around your small bungalow well, having visited what could have easily been a million times. She made herself at home on the couch, tossing her leather jacket beside her. You moved into the kitchen, only paying half a glance at the towels you'd thrown over the two spilled beverages. You poured the both of you a drink and then brought them into the living room, kicking back on the couch beside her. You grabbed the remote, clicking the TV on. The screen lit up the room. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the beautiful face beside you that had been illuminated. You turned back to the screen.

"I can put Netflix on," you said, pressing a button. "What do you want to watch?"

"Can I test your luck?"

"What?" You responded, turning your full attention to her.

She didn't offer an explanation. You felt her hand touch your thigh. Your breath hitched and the remote almost fell to the floor. You managed to set it down on the table as your cheeks began to burn red. She left her hand there for a few seconds before it slid away, letting you take a moment to remember how to breathe. Her hand moved away and wrapped around her glass. You knew how obvious you were being when you watched her touch the rim to her lips and the slight movements in her neck as she swallowed the alcohol. You needed a drink too, but you were frozen.

"I just mean... I could either turn your luck around or just maintain the bad luck."

You still didn't know what she meant. She was setting her glass down on the coffee table. Her eyes searched yours and you were once again tossed into the sea of green that you were so obsessed with. When she leaned forward and connected your lips, though, you lost sight of emerald green. Her eyes had shut and only a second later, yours had fluttered shut as well. You put a hand on the back of her neck to hold her closer and moved your lips with hers. You wondered briefly if you were dreaming. You didn't have long with your thoughts. Your mind was so overcome with whatever was happening right now.

Natasha pulled back. Her hand had, at some point, moved back onto your thigh, and was resting there gently. Your hand moved to cover it. She flipped hers over so that her fingers could intertwine with yours and for the first time, it didn't feel like it was just in a friendly manner. It felt so much more than that, just liked you'd wanted it to. Your eyes moved from there up to her face. She had been studying you intently. You'd never seen Natasha Romanoff look nervous. Not until that very moment. You chuckled a little, nervousness in your chest as well, and let your eyes fall.

"You definitely turned it," was all you said.

"Yeah?"

"By a long shot. I mean, I think this amount of good luck was enough to actually balance out the bad luck."

You didn't know Natasha could giggle, but she did. The sound made a smile immediately spread over your face. You reached out and took her hands in your own. You leaned forward and kissed her again, infatuated with the feeling of her soft lips pressed against yours so rough and yet somehow so soft. One of your hands pulled out of hers so it could thread through the red waves on her head. You'd wanted to do that for so long. She only pulled back when you'd both lost your breath. Your forehead rested against hers and you could smell the whiskey on her breath.

"Do you know how long I've wanted that?" You breathed.

"I'd guessed it, but I thought it was just my imagination because I wanted the same thing."

You laughed. She put her hands on your shoulders, pushing your back down against the couch and then putting her knees on either side of your waist. Her lips were on yours again, a little hotter this time. You didn't complain. You just let her lean down over you and kiss you and run her hand down your side. You only raised a hand to her chest and pushed her away when you once more felt the need for oxygen burning inside your chest. She didn't move far, face inches from yours, studying you this time from above. You blushed under her gaze.

"I... I've felt really strongly about you for a while," you said, hand moving so you could trace your fingertips across her cheek. "You know what I mean?"

"Are you trying to tell me you love me without saying you love me?" She asked, the teasing back in her voice again. "Because you're not going to scare me off. You can say it if you want."

"I love you, Natasha."

"I love you, too."

You couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't funny in any way, but maybe it was the relief trying to find a way out of your body. The sound seemed to make Natasha's eyes, sparkle. Your heart softened and the laughter fell from your lips and you didn't move a muscle. Her face was so beautiful looking down at you like it was. You felt so right having her touch you like this and touching her the way you were. Her hands were holding her torso up above yours and yours were touching her face so gently. It wasn't like a friend touched a friend anymore.

"Thanks for turning my luck."

"Are you kidding me? I'm the lucky one."

"I think we're both really fucking lucky, Natasha. Thank you."

#natasha romanoff #natalia romanova #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #mcu #marvel #wlw #lesbian

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hisui-blog · 2 years

Text

This is how you knew you've moved on.

Back then, I thought I can't live without him. It hurts just to think I cannot see him anymore, and it hurts more when you imagine him being with someone else in the future. Love is fucking dumb. It's irrational. Love does not have a simple logic. He can do the dumbest shit to you and yet you will still love him and it will take time to move on.

The ideal love, sweet words, he keeps his promises and always puts you first. But even when all promises are broken, it will just take a sincere apology and you'll be dumb again for him. It's bullshit but you can't help it.

That's why even when you broke up, it still hurts, you still check on him, the person you talk to everyday is now someone who will not talk to you anymore. Weeks past, it gets worst. You start breakingdown. In a month, you're slowly putting up yourself together, but this is just a front. Just to show him what he lost. You tell yourself you're okay but you're constantly checking his profile.

Months passed by, you've been busy. Busy with school, work or hobbies. You start meeting other people. They take your mind off of it. But some time in a week, you still check on his profile before you go to sleep.

It's been a year now. I met someone better. Only a hypocrite will say that they don't compare their ex with their present at least in their mind. Yes he's better, but people are different. Some qualities are best in his, but some are worst that you can find in another. Life hits you that there is no perfect. All the 10 qualities you'll look for, you'll only find half of them or some of them, but they'll never be what you imagine it to be. You will never meet your standard, but you "can" meet that certain level of happiness and contentness that you want to feel.

It's been 2 years, I still check on him when we're having fights. I just look at his profile but never ever message him because that's wrong. In these times, I thought "Our time was a waste. I could've been doing something better in those times. I wasted my time on someone that treats me like a stranger now. Our relationship, our friendship, all of our knowledge in each other's personal life, it's a waste of time to know each other."

3 years. Your memories are slowly fading away. I can't remember how you talk to me. All I can remember is your face. There are no more than 5 moments that I remember being with you. I can't even remember our first date. Even though we've been together for 3 years. I can't remember us anymore. I can't remember you anymore. Just to be clear I don't think of this kind of thing often. It just comes to my mind maybe 5 times a year. It's just weird that I can't seem to remember you anymore. I know you, your name, your face. But it feels like you're not that person I knew 3 years ago.

4 years had passed now. It's June and I remember you for the first time this year. I searched on Facebook. For the first time after 4 years, I smile while looking at your profile. You're with someone else. But I did not smile for you, nor because that I was happy you found someone. I smile because, it did not hurt. 4 years ago, I couldn't even imagine losing you, more over that you having another girl. I wasn't ready, and it was breaking me into pieces just to imagine that, and at the back of my mind that day I wished you'll never find someone. But here we are, you're with someone. And I'm happy because it did not feel anything. It's just like I saw some regular couples on Facebook.

She's pretty, sexy and talented. 4 years ago I thought I would be jelous if you found someone better. I thought it would hurt like hell.

But I smiled. Because it did not hurt. Even if you're with someone else, even if she's pretty, even if you're better now.

I smiled because I did not care anymore. I don't care about you anymore. I don't care about your life anymore. I meant that literally. It just felt that you're someone I know a long time ago.

I can smile without any pain when I see you with someone else. This is how I knew I've moved on.

#how to move on #journal #personal #ex #moving on #writing

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pesiko · 3 years

Text

SUHO SERIES RECS

✖ hiatus | ✔ completed | ✿ personal favorite | M mature

Bound to You M {10} ✔

Your new boss was great, if not a little uptight. @thesammtimes

Eighteen M {2} ✔

You’re an eighteen year old bartender and Junmyeon comes in with Baekhyun one day. He hits on you, then feels bad because you’re eighteen, then realizes he just doesn’t care. He likes you. @smuttyfairy

Executive {8} ✔

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, my name is Kim Junmyeon.” He gave a light bow and you realised that his smile up close was breath-taking. @suho-mochi

Flicker M {4} ✔

You stop for a moment looking up, your eyes mindlessly scanning the people sitting on the tables around you. You nibble on the end of your pencil as you wonder. What are you two? “I guess, friends with benefits?” You muse quietly. @suho-mochi

Hurt {4} ✔

You and Junmyeon met because the two of you sang a duet together. Things quickly escalated - way too fast for Junmyeon to comprehend. @smuttyfairy

Incipient M ✿ {5} ✔

You grimace from the stinging sensation as you glance at your feet and at your bunny slipper that has now fallen off and rolled on the side and of all things you see a slimy potato peel stuck at the bottom. You sigh in exasperation as there is only one person’s name that comes to mind. Kim Junmyeon. @suho-mochi

Ineffable {4}✖

“Heaven and hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and the bad. But the greatest part of mankind float betwixt vice and virtue.” - David Hume @suho-mochi

Last Year’s Model & Data Analysis & bonus {3} ✔

@duizhangdeluxe

Sins of the Father {17} ✔

Soon after your second birthday, your parents were killed and you were adopted by your father’s best friend, taken away to their home country where you lived your life in peaceful ignorance. As far a as you knew, your parents simply left you large fortune to be released to you once you reached your twenty-third birthday. At least, that’s all you thought you were inheriting... @marshmallow-phd

The Audacity of Kim Junmyeon {7} ✔

Kim Junmyeon, your neighbor and ex best friend suddenly begins taking to you after nearly six years of silence. Although he may be talking to you, he’s not the most…decent person now that he’s grown up. @smuttyfairy

The Pact & Pt 2 {2} ✔

Being your best friend, Junmyeon is always there to pick you up--literally and figuratively. You’re too drunk and sitting outside a dive bar? He’s there. You think your life is over? He’s got your back. @gamerwoo

10 Dates {10} ✔

Kim Junmyeon was the epitome of a perfect catch - he was successful, handsome and everything you currently didn’t want in a man. Yet after agreeing to his request to give him 10 dates in total to change your mind, you realised you might have been looking for someone like him all along. @prettywordsyouleft

❥ SUHO NAVI

[main masterlist] [exo masterlist] updated 4-25-21

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excelsi-or · 3 years

Text

your type (pt. 9)

Hello wonderful people!! I started a summer job and have been reading a SHIT ton, so I haven’t been writing as much. But I’m kinda back into this story again, and we’re about past halfway so I think we can get this done. :) I hope you’ve all been well~~

w.c. 3.1k (yeah, i’m not apologizing for length anymore. i hope you’re all cool with that lol)

pairing: jihoon x OC/reader

pt. 1; pt. 2; pt. 3; pt. 4; pt. 5; pt. 6; pt. 7; pt. 8

“You have a new boyfriend,” Jungkook says the next time they meet up for lunch in the fall semester.

She shrugs, studying her mug. “I guess so.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “You’re still apprehensive.”

“It’s only been 2 months.”

“That’s enough time to know, don’t you think?”

She shakes her head. “It really isn’t.”

Jungkook rests his chin in his palm. “I told you I loved you after two months.”

“We were young and naïve then.”

With a smirk, he doesn’t bother to point out that that first ‘I love you’ had been only three years ago. “Well, how does he feel?”

“Not sure.”

“Trust your instincts on this,” Jungkook encourages. “You have amazing intuition. You told me before I’d even fully moved in with Taehyung that I’d probably wind up dating him.”

“I said that because Taehyung is a good looking, intelligent man and anyone would date him if they were in his proximity long enough.”

Jungkook snorts. “I guess that’s a fair point. But come on. What’s your gut telling you?”

“My gut says that it’s confused,” she replies honestly. “I can’t gauge how honest he is with me.”

“You can’t compare him and Byunggu. No one knew that Byunggu was going to blindside you like that.”

She chuckles. “Do you know how much he’s come up in the last few months? I haven’t talked about him in forever, and all of a sudden, he’s just the topic of every conversation.”

“New boyfriend will do that. Especially after what happened last time.”

She runs a hand through her hair.

“As someone who has dated you, trust me when I say, you’re an all-in kind of lover.” He nudges her fingers with his. “So just go all in.”

“Go all in? And then?”

“Well, if you get hurt in the end, we’re here. You have people around you to hold you up and take care of you. But you can’t go into every relationship anticipating an end.”

She studies the chai in her mug, the way it ripples when she moves her hands even a little. “I guess you’re right.”

Jihoon (13:41)

Hey, lemme know when you’re done at lunch.

Got some stuff I want you to hear before we head home.

Jungkook nods his head towards the phone lighting up at her elbow. “Is that him?”

She nods.

“Are you going to reply?”

“He wants to know when I’m done with you so he can show me something he’s working on.” She fires off a quick text.

“Works in progress?”

“I guess they’ve been less and less finished, yeah.”

Jungkook hums. “If Yoongi hyung were here, he’d say that means Jihoon really likes you.”

She finds Jihoon in the studio an hour later. Bumzu, one of the TAs, had directed her to the studio when she’d appeared in the music building.

“You’re legendary,” Bumzu had said. “Anyone who’s had Jihoon’s attention this long is legendary.”

She’d had no response for that.

Gently, she touches Jihoon’s arm to make him aware of her presence. Jihoon looks up at her and slides his headphones off. Wordlessly, he passes them to her, and she takes a seat in the spare chair. With her feet up, and her knees hugged to her chest, she listens.

“Can you bring up the sound of the piano? The bass seems to be overpowering it.”

She does this for an hour, and he adjusts as they go along. By the end of it, Jihoon is thoroughly pleased with how the song’s turned out.

“I wish I was as useful for your chemistry research,” Jihoon chuckles. He takes the headphones and puts them on the desk. “You going home?”

“No, I actually have dinner plans.”

Jihoon tilts his head at that. “You do?”

“Correction, we have dinner plans.”

“We do?”

“Jihyo told me to tell you that we’re going for dinner with her and Seungcheol.”

Jihoon’s sweet questioning face quickly changes into something of disgust. “Ew. A double date?”

“I think Jihyo wants to tell me something.”

“And Cheol and I need to be there? Why?”

She shrugs. “I have no idea.” She kisses the top of his head as she stands. “But you need to be ready by 5:30, okay? So, no spending the night here.”

Jihoon hums his agreement. He catches her hand and tugs her back towards him. He pouts up at her until she concedes to a kiss, a bemused smile on her face.

As she closes the studio door behind her, she bumps into someone. Stumbling away from her is a girl she recognizes but can’t place.

The other woman recognizes her first. “You’re Wheein’s friend, aren’t you?”

It takes her a moment. “Byulyi?”

Byulyi smiles at her. Her eyes dart to the door she’d walked out of and the smile on her face falters. “How are you?”

“Good. Just heading home.”

“You taking a music class this semester?” Byulyi asks, her eyes flicking to the door again.

“Oh.” She gets the meaning and the looks. “No. Just visiting someone.”

“Lee Jihoon?”

She holds her breath for another story and Byulyi doesn’t fail her. They start to walk towards the exit.

“If you’re friends with Wheein, you must be a nice person.”

She questions the connection, but doesn’t press that point. “And?”

“So,” Byulyi smirks, “why are you hanging around Lee Jihoon? The man’s manipulative and a swindler. He’ll con you of the love you have to give and leave you heartbroken.”

They push out into the sunlight, enveloped by the dying heat of the day. “He knows the right words to say and he knows exactly when to say them to get to you.”

If she hasn’t learned that already, then she’s an idiot. With a deep breath, she thanks Byulyi for the anecdote and the information. Byulyi is on the list of women Jihoon’s dated. These women follow her around now; the stories are variations of each other.

And at this point, she really doesn’t know what to do with them.

“I heard another one.” She sets her backpack down at the end of the dining table.

Jihyo glances up from her evolution flashcards. “Who?”

“Moon Byulyi.”

It only takes Jihyo a second to place the name. “Wheein’s music friend?”

“Yeah.” She empties her backpack on the table and then takes her water bottle to the sink to refill it. “I don’t know what to make of it. Apparently other people know Jihoon and I are…” She struggles to find a word.

“Dating?” Jihyo chuckles.

“I haven’t told him that his exes keep telling all his secrets.”

“I promise you, the look on his face when he looks at you isn’t one of a man who’s in for the sex or even just for the chase. He’s in. For all of that and all of you. I promise you that.”

The boys are already sat at a table when the girls arrive. Seungcheol pulls Jihyo’s chair out, and Jihoon looks conflicted as to whether he should do the same. Smirking, she slips into the chair next to him. She doesn’t kiss his cheek like Jihyo. She grabs his hand under the table and gives it a squeeze.

“Have you looked at the menu?” she asks him.

Jihoon shakes his head. “Not yet.”

She studies him for a moment. “Do you trust me to order for you?”

At this offer, Jihoon tilts his head. “Go ahead.”

Conversation is light. They play rounds of cards while they wait for the food. When Jihoon wins the last round of Shit Head, Jihyo and Seungcheol roll their eyes.

“You guys can’t win every game.”

She laughs. “You guys just aren’t good at games of speed.”

“Or strategy,” Jihoon adds with a smile.

Seungcheol stacks the cards as the food arrives. She leans towards Jihoon as she names the various foods before him. He’s pleasantly surprised at the range. There are foods that he will definitely eat, and a few that are out of his comfort zone but aren’t off-putting.

“So, what do you have to tell us?” Jihoon asks once everyone’s tucked in.

With his head bowed towards his plate, practically shovelling food into his mouth, Seungcheol answers, “We’re dating.”

Jihyo hits his arm.

“What?” Seungcheol lifts his head slightly to look over at Jihyo. “Did you want to make it a big deal?” He straightens up and looks at the couple across him. “We have decided that we are only going to see each other. Be exclusive.”

It takes a lot of effort to keep from laughing. Jihyo hasn’t had any other man over in the last month and a half. This isn’t surprising. The formal announcement is.

“That’s great.” Jihoon’s focus also seems to be on the food as opposed to the actual conversation. She nudges him with her elbow and he puts his chopsticks down. He mimics Seungcheol’s formality. “Seriously. This is excellent news.”

With a good-natured roll of her eyes, Jihyo meets Jihoon’s gaze. “The way you’ve committed, Jihoon, it’s really made us reevaluate.”

Jihoon furrows his brow at Seungcheol, but his friend won’t look at him.

Later that night, back in the safety of their apartment, Jihoon demands, “What the hell did you tell Jihyo?”

Seungcheol raises his hands in defense. “She asked me last month what my take on your relationship was! I couldn’t just tell her you were in it for a bet! I actually like Jihyo. I wasn’t going to tell her that your relationship was a façade. The only reason she decided to even give me a chance is because you’d been given a chance.”

Jihoon’s gaze could level mountains. “You straight up lied to her.”

“It was that or tell her that we bet on your relationship. You don’t understand how protective they are of her.”

Jihoon shakes his head in frustration. “What?”

“Byunggu?”

“Holy shit. What’s wrong with him? Isn’t he an actor or something?” Jihoon is almost tired of hearing about this ex-boyfriend.

“They threatened to ruin his entire career by blasting it on social media how awful a person he is. The girls have receipts. Even if your girl’s deleted all the messages and rid him from her life, her friends are holding onto them.”

Well, at least Jihoon knows the other man’s definitely not castrated.

“So, yeah, I lied a little about how real your emotions are.”

“Jihyo’ll be furious when she finds out!”

“What else was I supposed to do, Jihoon?” Seungcheol watches Jihoon begin pacing. “I like this girl. Genuinely want to make this work. Even if I only get a few months with her, it’ll be worth it to me. And if I can show her that I genuinely want to be with her in the time before we’re revealed to be the biggest assholes of all time, then maybe I can keep my relationship.”

Jihoon shakes his head in disbelief. “You and Soonyoung put me up to this bet. I told you guys I wanted to back out months ago.”

Seungcheol remembers that day. He was so sure that he would never be one to settle. At least not for years to come. “You can still back out. We can just give up, tell the others that your game isn’t as good as we thought it was. And if we end the bet now while everyone can get away relatively scot free, maybe we should.”

Jihoon shrugs.

Seungcheol catches his friend’s eye. “And I’ve seen the look on your face, Lee Jihoon. You have real feelings you’re scared to admit to.”

He rolls his eyes. “Did it not occur to you that I have to pretend otherwise this won’t work?”

“Whether you’re pretending or not anymore, I don’t know. But what I feel for Jihyo is genuine.”

Hansol (14:21)

You still on campus?

Late lunch?

It’s October and the air is getting crisper. She steps out onto the green with a scarf wrapped around her neck. She finds Hansol at the campus coffee shop. There are two sandwiches on the table, one for each of them.

“Seungkwan?” She slides her bag onto the floor next to her.

“Yeah. It’s one of the reasons why I wanted to have lunch.” He grins up at her, all gums and bright eyes. “I can’t eat two sandwiches.”

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that Seungkwan gets upset when you don’t finish all your food?” She starts to eat and nods in his direction. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

“Hmm?” There’s a ball of food in his mouth and his questioning eyes make him look adorable.

Chuckling, she says, “Well, we’ve rarely eaten out without you asking me something.” She juts her chin in his direction. “What’s up?”

“I, uh…” His cheeks start to redden. “Have a question about a girl.”

Her brow furrows slightly. “That’s new. You’re usually pretty confident about that.” She chews a bit. “Shoot.”

“What made you decide Jihoon hyung was a good idea?”

She tilts her head.

“I have a reputation like hyung’s, but mine’s not real.” He studies the contents of the sandwich. “And I just… I don’t know how to convince her.”

“Ah.” After spending the last four months with the boys, she knows whose reputations are real and whose have been garnered by association. Hansol is the latter, not really dating all that much. The girls he pursues are particular, which must mean this girl he’s interested in is amazing.

“You could just tell her the truth.”

“Do you believe everything hyung says?”

She takes a bite, allowing herself some time to think through her answer. She decides that Hansol deserves her honesty. “Not at the beginning, no.” She lowers her sandwich and holds his gaze. “But a relationship doesn’t work unless you trust that the other person’s being honest. And it gets really tiring to second guess everything your partner’s saying.”

Hansol’s cheeks redden even more this time, the blush creeping up to his ears and down his neck.

“Have you lied to her already?”

Hansol’s eyes widen. His voice is tight, practically squeaking out, “What? No.”

She makes a face. “You’re blushing.”

“Oh.” Hansol’s brain scrambles. “I just… uh…” How does he avoid telling her that her relationship is a bet? “Talking about her makes me nervous.”

She lifts an eyebrow, impressed. It’s rare to see Hansol nervous or outside his comfort zone. “You must really like her.”

“Uhm… yes,” he fills his mouth with sandwich, “I do.”

“Then… just be honest. You’re not your reputation.”

Lettuce gets caught in his throat. “And she’ll just… buy that?” He coughs.

“If she’s smart? No. She won’t. But actions help. Prove to her you’re not your reputation. You’re a good guy, Hansol.”

Hansol stares at this woman who he has grown to like. Her company is great, she’s awesome at games, and her humour matches the group’s well. As conversation veers towards classes and research, Hansol can’t help but think about how the bet will end and how hurt she’s going to be. Four times over the next hour, his tongue almost slips. Almost letting out a secret that will definitely end her relationship. Not just with Jihoon but with every one of them.

She checks her watch. “I gotta get back to the lab. The NMR should be done now.” She slips out of her seat and pats his shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”

“Are you coming for dinner tonight?”

She bends down to pick up her backpack, slinging it back over her shoulder. “It’s at yours, isn’t it?”

Hansol nods.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

As soon as Hansol walks into his apartment, he says to Seungkwan, “We need to call off the bet right now.”

Seungkwan has his pink apron on that the boys got him as a joke. “I’ve been saying that for about four months now.”

“Well, we really need to call it off.”

Seungkwan waves his spatula at Hansol, but his eyes fall to the iced Americano in his roommate’s hand and he calms down. “We both know that the guys aren’t just going to do that. Not when they know Jihoon’s this close to winning.”

“What?”

“Do you just ignore all of noona’s feelings? The look on her face when she looks at Jihoon hyung? She’s fallen for him already.” Seungkwan huffs and then takes a long sip from his drink. “It’s just a waiting game now.”

Hansol shakes his head as he heads to his room to drop off his things. “Tell everyone to come early. We need to talk about this bet right now.”

Hansol rarely asks for anything from the others, so when they receive his text, they’re there in thirty minutes.

“What’s wrong?” Jeonghan asks upon arrival. He slips out of his shoes, his eyes not leaving Hansol’s face. “Who’s dying?”

“We’re assholes and we need to call off the bet now.” Hansol grabs his hand to help him over the one step into the house. “If you guys want the money, I’ll give you the money. But I don’t want to see noona get hurt.”

Seungkwan counts heads. “Where’s Jihoon hyung?”

Joshua has his phone out. “He got stuck in the studio.”

Hansol immediately calls Jihoon. When Jihoon answers, he puts the phone on speaker and sets it in the middle of the small dining table.

“What’s going on, Hansol-ah?” They can hear a mouse clicking on the other end. “Dinner’s not for another hour. I can’t make it right now.”

“I want to talk about the bet and you need to be here.” Hansol leans closer to the phone. “Can we just call it off? Hyung, you already know that she likes you. And if she,” he glances at Seungkwan, “if she hasn’t fallen for you already, she’s falling now. So, can we just end this before anyone gets hurt?” Hansol tips his head both ways. “Or more hurt.”

“Yes!” Seungcheol pushes through to the front so Jihoon can definitely hear him. “Let’s call it off.”

The ripple of agreement through the group is comforting to Hansol, but everyone listens when Jihoon’s voice comes through again.

“You guys thought I was still faking it?” His voice is soft, vulnerable. He’s even stopped clicking around on the computer. “Guys, I,” he pauses, trying to bring himself to admit it, “I stopped faking months ago.”

Seungcheol slams his hands down on the table. “We got in a fight last month about this. What the hell are you saying?”

“You told Jihyo without consulting me first. I wasn’t going to tell you that you were right.”

Now, Jeonghan slams his hands onto the table. This second smack causes Jihoon to swear. “So, this is real? Lee Jihoon has a girlfriend?”

“Hanging up now.” They can hear the smile in his voice. “See you guys later.”

#woozi #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #Seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #Svt #lee jihoon scenarios #Lee Jihoon

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the-weeping-author · 3 years

Text

Reacquainted

A/N: hey so this is a AU! Where Eren and the reader are both 18.. so yeah lol I hope this is good.. this is my first fic into the anime fandom, and more importantly my first fic of the AOT fandom so request are open. I have a list of characters I write for so feel free to request I write angst, fluff, and smut.

Taglist: @augustweb @harrystylesupremacy

Warnings: bullying kinda?? cussing, slight angst, SEX!! 18+ quickie, oral , stimulation. Dirty talk, unprotected sex slight choking,

Summary: Y/N and Eren had parted ways as children, one wanted it the other didn't. Y/N's life was just fine until a certian brown haired guy showed up at scouts one day. Will Y/N and Eren make up?

Word count: 5,728

Enjoy 😊

Eren and I had been friends since I could remember, we were close growing up. Eren and I were as thick as thieves, but slowly over time there became a HUGE disconnection between us. I never understood when or why it had happened, but it did and it put a strain on Eren and I. It hurt more than anything, our families had always been close, but maybe that was our downfall. We had always spent summers together at the lake house.

The lake house was just 30 minutes away from the wall, and Eren and I would always ask why Titans never showed up like they did around the walls. Our parents never told us, but my father always brushed me off, and told me I wasn't old enough. I never understood what he meant until that day 9 years ago, back then I had everything.. a family, a home, friends, comfort. Now I have nothing, I was truly alone. I knew what my father was talking about now. To be a warrior you would have to be willing to sacrifice everything, and guess what? That's exactly what I did, that's what made me lose everything including Eren.

Losing everything wasn't what I wanted, but who did? I was foolish back then. I was childish and gullible about the real world, I never knew how cruel and cold the world was until the wall came down for a second time 4 years after the first. Eren leaving my life was what finally did it for me, and I thought there was no escaping the cold dark thing that I called my soul. No one was let in. It was like the whole world around me stopped, and I started to distance myself more and more from everyone.

It wasn't until I decided to join the scouts that I felt alive again, just going out and taking all the built up frustrations out on the Titans. After all, they are the reason why I am the way I am. Tell me who wouldn't feel the way I do after they lost everything then on top of that to get stabbed in the back by someone who claims to be your best friend. Eren and I had stopped talking around three years ago, and honestly it's not gonna change anytime soon.

I'll never forget the day Eren told me he didn't want to be friends anymore. In fact I'd never forget that day for as long as I lived, the day had started sunny and beautiful. The sun was warm dancing across the city, the wind was blowing just enough to send a nice calming breeze through the hot summer Hills. The birds had sung happily that morning, the air had finally felt lighter. For once everything felt… Okay, but there was no telling how long that would last.

~FlashBack~

"Y/N… why are you always so hopeful?"

I turned my head to Eren, my green eyes Shining in his gray ones. I smiled softly before he intertwined our fingers together, I laid my head on his shoulder. I Felt his toned body tense under my simple movement, and I hummed softly looking out upon the town of Shiganshina. I thought it over for a brief moment before I let out a breath answering softly.

"Well Eren, I believe that if we succumb to the horrors of life we fail not only as warriors, but as humans too. I'll never succumb to the enemy or anyone for that matter."

The few minutes of silence made me lift my head off his shoulder, and look at him. His face was unreadable, and it threw me off. Did he have this expression the whole time? Why ask a question if you were just gonna ignore it? Before my mind could go any further into the negative thoughts Eren's voice pulled me from my thoughts making me let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"Y/N.. we can't do this anymore."

I looked at him, my eyes quickly searched his face for more indication of what he meant. I watched his jaw clench before he unclenched it. His hand slowly slid out my hand, he pulled it back into his lap leaving my hand alone. My stomach flipped, and immediately it locked up making my stomach twist making me nauseous.

"W-what do you mean Eren?"

His gray eyes finally locked with my green ones, and he stood up turning his back towards me before walking away. I quickly stood up, and followed after him.

"Can't do what anymore? Eren answer me!"

He stopped in his tracks, and he stood up, turning away from me. He dusted off his hands as he started walking away from me. I stood, and I clenched my fist squeezing my eyes shut as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I felt my heart pound against my ribcage, and my lip started to quiver. When I opened my eyes my sight was hazy from the tears getting closer, and closer to breaking the dam.

Eren let out a breath, and he looked up at the sky. The grey clouds hid what was left of the beautiful blue sky. I knew his next words were gonna change the rest of my life, I stared at the brown locks covering his head. Before I knew it tears were sliding down my face, after a few silent sobs I wiped my nose sniffling a bit. Immediately I regretted it. Eren looked over his shoulder looking at me, and when his suspicions were confirmed he let out a "Tsk." He took in a breath before looking away from me.

"I can't be your friend anymore, don't try to change my mind because it's already made up. I don't need you around, you're too gullible to have around, you'll just get yourself killed after all… you're weak."

My eyes widened, and I dropped to my knees, balling my fist sitting them in my lap. I felt a few cold drops fall onto my thighs, and I looked up at the gray sky. A few cold rain drops dripped on my burning face as the realization hit me, I was alone. I let out a gut wrenching scream as Eren disappeared out of my life.. forever. I hunched over, and I let the once quiet sobs out my body, Jolting forward as each sob broke through me.

"Why me, I'm only 10 years old, why am I alone? Doesn't anyone love me?"

~End Of FlashBack~

I was walking down the street to a small building where the scouts would change, I walked into the Women's side and quickly put my training uniform on. I looked at the clock on the wall, and my eyes widened. The clock read 5:50 am.. shit If I didn't leave right now I'd be five minutes late, and Captain Levi hands out extra punishment to those who are late. It had been two years since I've joined, and I hadn't been late this far and I definitely didn't plan to start now.

I rushed out of the building, and when the wind hit my face I immediately started running. Two years on and off the field, and I didn't want to stop training. I was always quick to learn new moves, or get better at hand to hand combat. When I finally reached the field I stopped to take big breaths, and a voice caught my attention making my blood run cold. He couldn't be here... of all days why today, why me? My green eyes quickly found the voice that made my heart drop to my feet.

Eren Yeager.. my Ex best friend, the anchor that once held my body firm in the ocean unscathed by the violent waves. My eyes started to burn, and my throat started getting itchy. His gray eyes met with mine, and when Mikasa, Armin, and Levi turned towards me I quickly turned my head, and rushed the opposite way. My wrist was grabbed by someone, and my head shot up to meet Hanji''s gaze, concern sketched onto Their face.

"Y/L/N are you alright?"

I nodded my head, and I mustered up the best smile I could give them at the moment. I parted my lips softly before taking in a breath before letting it out.

"Yes Hanji I'm fine, thank you for asking."

They smiled at me before intertwining their arm with mine, and before I knew it we were walking towards the little group.. including Eren immediately I stopped in my tracks making them get pulled backwards towards me a bit at the sudden lack of movement. When Hanji turned their head to look at me, confusion was written all over their face. They followed my eyes as I glanced at Eren, and they let out a knowing oooh.

"I see now Y/L/N, your disturbance is between you and Mister Yeager. Am I correct?"

Before I could say anything they quickly cut me off their eyes shined at me softly before their lips turned upwards into a smile.

"Ah well whatever is going on you can't let it affect

you to the point where you can't be there for your team. That will only get them and you killed, so please for our sake along with yours please handle this however hard it may be. After all, what would I do if my favorite scout got killed?"

I listened to Hanji intently. I knew I couldn't face him, but Hanji had a point. This "issue" could jeopardize the safety of not only myself, but others and I wouldn't be the reason hundreds of us got killed. How could I approach Eren? Why would I? Would he even talk to me? Hanji''s voice pulled me from the depths of my own hectic thoughts. I'd have to thank them later in the mess hall, but I did plan to talk to Eren.. just not today.

The day of training was spent avoiding Mikasa, Armin, but especially Eren. A part of me envied two of the three of the trio, I was currently sparring with a new scout. My eyes looked towards Eren every once in a while, but this time it got the best of me. As soon as Eren lifted one of the trainees off the ground making his firm muscles flex. I can't help but wonder how-... I was instantly pulled from my thoughts by a fist meeting with my face.

I fell against the dirt of the huge field, I held the side of my face shaking the hit off. When I raised my head a bit I saw a few people looking over at us, Eren included. A slight smirk was on his face as his peers looked on, and I felt my blood instantly boil. I wanted to go over there, and wipe that eat shit smirk off his face. The person I was training with held their hand out to me, and I instinctively slapped his hand away. I stood up, and I dusted myself off getting into a strong sturdy stance. Of course instinctively it was the one Eren had taught me when we were kids.

Training had ended, and I couldn't be happier. My body ached, and when I showered the hot water helped ease my aching bones. Once I changed back into my regular clothes I walked into the mess hall, once I got my dinner I sat at a table alone. I started eating until I felt eyes on me, and with a quick flash I noticed Eren walking my way out the corner of my eye. I gulped, and I gripped my cup tightly. As he got closer and closer my heart thumped harder, and harder.

Mikasa, and Armin were across the mess hall watching Eren get closer. I prayed to whatever was up there he wouldn't be coming to talk to me. That it was just exhaustion altering my mind, however I was quickly mistaken when he sat right in front of me. His Gray eyes stared into mine calmly. We just stared at each other not knowing what to say, he was basically a stranger to me. He wasn't my Eren Yeager anymore, and I didn't know where to begin to search for him.

"Hey Rosie."

My stomach dropped hearing him use the nickname he used to call me. The butterflies in my heart almost gave in, and acted like nothing happened. It had though, he abandoned me like I was a nobody to him. Rosie came from my feelings towards him, every little thing he did made me blush, or get flushed. I always disliked blushing until he called me that nickname. I used to love it, but now resentment constantly burns through my veins.

"You don't get to call me that anymore."

The smirk that was once on his face faltered a bit, and he just stared at me. Neither one of us spoke, the air was thick with tension. He looked as cute as I remembered he did, his eyes still the color of the sky on a rainy day. His lips still looked as soft as ever, he looked exactly the same, but older. My Stomach turned with every glance I took at him. My thoughts were all over the place, why here? Why now? Is he gonna hurt me just like he did back then? What if he did still care about me?

"No Remember Y/N he's not your Eren anymore you don't know him, he never cared about you. He never will, he doesn't-."

As my thoughts swirled through my head like a tornado on a dark spring evening. I felt my face get warm, and my bottom lip started to tremble softly as tears stung my eyes. His deep intoxicating voice pulled me from my overbearing thoughts, he whispered across the table to keep some sort of privacy between us, his lips parted softly.

"Oh? Well why is that?"

His warm voice pushed any decent thought away, he sounded so stupid.. Why is that? Are you serious? He has to be joking right? I licked my lips before I squeezed my thigh softly. Once I cooled off some I cleared my throat, my back straightened in the chair. I wasn't gonna play his game, not now, not ever his game of cat and mouse was over. I was no longer gonna let Eren Yeager hurt me the way he had.

"You know exactly why Eren Yeager, if you want to talk to me about why you haven't talked to me in years please refrain from playing stupid. It doesn't fit you."

I grabbed my tray, and I stood from the table walking away from the table but more importantly I walked away from him. It felt good to walk away from him, but unfortunately I knew we'd have to talk sooner or later. Mikasa, and Armin both smiled at me softly. I nodded my head at them both before I kept walking, leaving everyone in the mess hall behind me. Little did I know a plan was getting made while I slept the night away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to the birds singing, and I smiled to myself before throwing the covers off of me. I got ready for the day taking care of my morning duties. Once I finished breakfast I brushed my teeth, and after I was done I grabbed the mouthwash, swished it around my mouth and spit it in the sink. I braided my hair while I walked down the hallway, I stopped when I heard Captain Levi's voice.

"I'll let her know when I see her, for now go to the field I'll see you out there."

I heard footsteps get further, and further away until I couldn't hear them anymore. Once I knew for sure the conversation was over I stepped out walking around the corner seeing Captain Levi standing there, and I smiled softly walking up to him.

"Morning Captain."

He raised his head, and turned towards me. The blank expression on his face as he nodded his head at me his raven hair moved at his simple movements.

"Morning Y/L/N I was just about to come looking for you."

My smile faltered a bit at his words, and I tensed up a bit remembering the conversation I eavesdropped on. My heart dropped a bit, and my hands started to get clammy. I pushed the smile back onto my face, and I started to play with the end of my shirt.

"Well here I am sir, what's on your mind?"

He let out a breath, and he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. My heart almost stopped, Levi was never one to express himself no matter the situation. So to say I was nervous was an understatement, I'm sure Captain Levi could hear my heart hammer against my ribcage. I took a soft deep breath preparing myself for whatever he had to say.

"Well Y/L/N I've heard from a few of your comrades that you've been working hard, and you've taken some of the discipline I've given them.. is that true?"

My blood ran cold, I knew he was about to give me kitchen duty, or worse he was gonna make me clean the rooms again. I immediately deflated at his words, I was ready to take whatever he was gonna give me.

"Well Y/L/N as much as I am displeased by your actions, the same comrades offered to take your punishment In return for you having the day off from training so go knock yourself out."

My mouth dropped open at his new claim, my eyes scanned across his face to try and see if he was lying, which I already knew the answer to. I closed my mouth, and I licked my lips letting the moisture circulate in my mouth. My eyes looked back to him, and I smiled softly at him looking into his gray eyes.

"T-thank you Captain, I uhh really appreciate it. If you don't mind me asking who exactly told you about what I did?"

His eyes looked back into mine, and he let out a huff. This is the most I've heard him talk, except for when he's with Erwin in the mess hall or barking orders at us. Other than that it was silence, but I had to know who exactly got themselves in trouble for me.

"Well I probably shouldn't tell you, bit Armin, Connie, Jean, Sasha, and Eren."

My stomach twisted at him mentioning Eren, and my smile faltered just for a split second. Levi definitely noticed, and I knew he was gonna pry. I didn't want him to, but he's my Captain and I can't lie to him. Even if I did he'd see right through it, and I wasn't gonna let that happen at all. I'd have to run laps, clean, dishes, clean oh and did I mention CLEAN!? don't get me wrong, I loved cleaning, but not after a bunch of slobs.

"Oh well thank you for letting me know Levi, thank you oh and tell them I said thank you too."

Levi did a double take when I didn't say anything else. He looked normal, but I could tell there were a few things he had to say. I went to turn back around to get ready to go into town, but his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Oh by the way Y/L/N… you need to deal with whatever you're dealing with, and I can tell you've been distracted lately."

I turned my head to face him, and I nodded my head at him. When he started walking the other way I did the same, when I reached my room I changed into a pastel pink summer dress. I let my hair down, and I brushed it out slipping on a pair of my black flats walking out of my room. When I reached outside the warm sun kissed my skin, and I closed my eyes for a moment humming softly.

I said hello to the scouts that passed me on my way by, I hummed a little tune as I walked. I felt eyes on my body, and I stopped midwalk looking around trying to find who was looking at me. When I didn't see anyone I just shrugged it off before I continued to walk. It wasn't until I got to a secluded area that I felt eyes on me again, and this time I stopped completely, my arms crossed over my chest.

"Okay whoever is following me, come out you're starting to annoy me."

As soon as the last word left my mouth I heard footsteps, I turned around, and my breath hitched seeing Eren come out from behind a wall. My lips parted, and I put my hand up stopping him in his tracks.

"Don't you dare come any closer Eren or I'll drop you where you stand."

A look flashed across his face I didn't recognize, and he smiled softly at me before he got closer to me.

"Oh Rosie, you still have such a temper, I thought you were gonna drop me?"

My mouth opened and closed every few seconds searching for something to say, when my hand pressed against his toned chest. A pink tint crossed my cheeks, and I let out a huff seeing his face. Anger quickly flows through me all over again before I just let my top blow.

"Eren, who do you think you are? You can't just say what you said, and then years later just come waltzing back in my life wanting me to act like nothing happened cause it definitely did."

His eyes narrowed a bit, and I saw the side of his mouth twitch. I could tell he was mad, the sudden urge to slap him was eager in my mind. I quickly swallowed that urge, and I decided to let him defend himself If he planned on it. The Eren I once knew was warm, sweet the list goes on, but the new Eren was a huge ass.

"Y/N it wasn't like that, I was only trying to protect you."

"Protect me? Eren you hurt me, you've been a dickasaurus rex."

His eyes widened at the new nickname, and before I knew it he was dragging me along with him. I tried to get out of his grasp, but unfortunately it wasn't working so I just walked quickly with him. We walked down a hallway taking two lefts and a right, and when he opened the room door I looked around the hallway noticing we were alone. When he pulled me into the room I quickly turned around, and tried to escape.

"Y/N I know I hurt you, but I thought I was doing what was best for the both of us. I know you hate me, but please just forgive me. I've wanted to reach out, but I never knew how I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me."

He pulled me back around to face him, and my heart softened at his words, but I couldn't just forgive him could I? He hurt me, and I wouldn't let him do it again. I refused to be his fool or anyone's fool again, I tried to repair myself over the past few years, and I wouldn't let Eren break down what I accomplished.

"Eren you told me and I quote. "you didn't need me around, I was too gullible to have around, I'd just get Myself killed after all… I'm weak" you know that stayed with me for a long time, but I joined the scouts instead of listening to you. I'm glad I did because I proved to you, foe's, and anyone who doubted me that I am strong, and that I could save myself if needed. So my question to Eren is if I'm so weak and we weren't good friends why have you been trying to get me to talk to you?"

Eren didn't reply for a few seconds, his mouth opened and closed just like mine did earlier. Now it was my turn to do the smirking, I knew I was fueling his fire, but I didn't care. It felt great to finally tell him how I felt and just get it off my chest. Before he could say anything I turned back towards the door, and started walking towards it.

"Eren I'll see ya around, I'm not wasting anymore of my -."

Before I could get the rest of my sentence out he was pulling me back towards him, and as soon as I faced him our lips met. It woke every part of my body up, and I was just frozen to the ground. It wasn't until he pushed me back against the wall that it registered within me what exactly was going on. My body ached for Eren, and I didn't know it until this moment. The way his lips fit against mine, or the way his rough hands moved against my soft skin.

My hands went to his pants undoing the button, and I pulled down his zipper. I let my warm fingers curve into his pants before yanking them down, and his boxers were quickly following his pants stopping around his ankles. I bunched his shirt in my hands, and I flipped us his back smacked against the wall as I pushed him against it. I dropped to my knees, and I looked up at him waiting for his permission. He let out a soft grunt, and I looked up at him, and my breath was caught once again.

Anger was slightly evident in his eyes, but his pupils were blown with lust. I hummed softly at his reaction to the cold wall making me smirk again so I decided to tease him a little bit.

"Awee what's wrong? Did little Rosie hit a nerve?"

I let out a knowing giggle, and before he could respond I was taking his hardening cock into my mouth. I moved my head softly back and forth around Eren making his hand instinctively go into my long H/C locks. I opened my eyes feeling the sentimental contact, and when I looked up it made the knots in my stomach twist tighter. The way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, and the way his bottom lip tucked tightly between his top and bottom teeth just made my thoughts fuzzy.

Hollowing my cheeks around him made his grip in my hair grow tighter, and each time I moved my head forward his his jolted to meet my face. His now hard cock roughly grazed the back of my throat making my eyes squeeze shut, when my lips met the base of his manhood he used the hand that held onto my hair in place. I let my hands softly graze his thighs until I needed air, and when the time came I gave both of them a firm squeeze.

When he let my head go I quickly pulled back gasping for air, only a moment passed before he was burying his cock back into my willing mouth. when he slid back into my mouth something changed him, and I definitely wasn't complaining after all I wasn't glass. I used my pointer, and middle finger to tap his bare thigh softly before I tightened my mouth around him, feeling his hard throbbing cock against my swollen plump lips. The arousal pooling between my legs proved how much I wanted- (more like needed) him at this moment.

I wanted Eren so bad there was no denying it, in fact I'd be a fool if I denied it. Anyone could tell I was head over heels for the boy I grew up with regardless if he knew it or not. I wanted this just as much as he did, but we were both too stubborn to admit it on our own Accord. I knew this was bound to happen at some point. Some people call it fate, I call it intuition. The way his breath got heavy when I swirled my tongue around the tip of his member just made me want to do more.

Our eyes stayed locked together even as I teasingly moved my head back and forth sliding my wet lips down his member, and when I got half way down I moved my head back letting just the tip of his cock rest in my mouth. I sucked softly on it at first letting him catch his breath, and one look up at him was all it took for me to know he was holding himself back. The look of hesitation was very evident in his eyes, when I let the tip of his cock slide out of my mouth I heard him groan out of annoyance.

"W-wha- Why did you stop?"

I looked up at him humming softly before I kissed his swollen tip, making his breath falter as the taste of precum spread across my lips dancing onto my taste buds.

" I still dislike you, but Stop holding back Eren, I want this just as much as you do."

He nodded his head, and he grabbed my H/C hair wrapping it around his fist before he started jolting his hips back and forth into my mouth. The lewd wet noises leaving my mouth were enough to get a response from Eren.

"S-shut u-up you make it very hard to concentrate, and that's not a complete compliment."

I pinched his thigh softly at his smart remark, and before I could reply he shoved his hard cock into my mouth immediately burying it in the back of my throat making me Gag almost instantly. I slid my hands back on his thighs, and I squeezed my eyes shut moaning loudly defining vibrations around his throbbing member.

"S-sorry, but ugh. Couldn't let you think you had control."

After a few moments passed he let my head slide half way off his throbbing cock before he pushed it back down to the base of him. After a few moments the actions repeated, and at this point tears started pooling at the corners of my eyes. When he let his cock slid out of my mouth it twitched as the cool air hit his warm salivated cock.

"Get up."

Before I could get up his arm was wrapping around my arm yanking me up. Before I could get my balance I was being shoved against the wall, and he fumbled with the button of my pants undoing them. His fingers pulled my zipper down, and with one swift movement my pants and panties were on the floor. The breeze from his quick moments brushed against my wet arousal making me shudder softly against the cool wall, my perky nipples brushed against the concrete wall making me moan softly.

"E-Eren.."

"Spread your legs."

My mind wanted to tell him to fuck off, but my body reacted before I could get myself together. Before I knew it I was spreading my legs for him.. exactly as I was told.. thanks alot to whoever was watching, I hope you're happy. The feeling of the tip of his cocl rubbing against my soaked folds made me roll my hips against him sliding my folds back and forth on him, the way he sounded when he groaned was intoxicating itself.

When he pushed himself into me it was like striking a match, every inch of my body was on fire, and I didn't want it to be extinguished. I immediately squeezed his hard cock, and as it stretched me out I felt it twitch and throb as it went further and further into me. I let my head slide back against his shoulder as he started thrusting softly into me, his pace wasn't enough to cause any discomfort, but it surely got me used to taking him the more he thrusted into me.

The sound of our skin connecting, and our lewd noises echoed in the room. Little drops of sweat broke out across my forehead as he pulled himself halfway out, and rammed himself deeper into me hitting my g-spot. I arched my back into him making his cock hit at a better angle, the tip of his cock raked across my g-spot with each thrust making me squeeze his hard shaft. The knots in my stomach started making itself more evident, and my breath picked up.

His hand snaked around my hip softly going to my clit, and when his hand pressed against it I moaned against the wall the vibrations made my little tickle. I bit my bottom lip softly letting out a whimper, and his lips pressed against the top of my ear. His tongue slid across the warm skin, and when his teeth sunk into my sensitive skin I let out another louder moan. His hips snapped against my ass making the sound bounce louder off the walls, each time his cock raked against my g-spot I felt myself getting closer and closer.

I felt my walls flutter around him, his break brushed against my wet skin making goosebumps dance across my skin as his voice softly whispered in my ear.

"You can cum If you want Rosie."

Hearing his words were enough to make my orgasm crash over me, but the use of my childhood nickname gave it more of a surreal feeling. Little white stars blurred my vision, and when I closed my eyes they seemed to multiply. I rolled my hips on him as I rode out my orgasm, and I soon felt his warm seed go onto my back. As he rode out his orgasm he fell against my back his heart pounding against my back.

His breath was heavy, and he kissed my shoulder softly moving up my neck. I let out a huff, as much as I'd like to pretend everything was okay I just couldn't. Just because we had sex doesn't mean that I forgave him, and he knew it. I may have given in this once, but I already made my mind up. As much as I loved Eren Yeager for now we were just acquaintances who just so happened to get reacquainted with each other.

When he nuzzled against my jaw my eyes moved to the corner of my eyes so I could look at him, and when I did my breath hitched. His grey eyes were soft, and his smile was warm.

"Rosie.. I've missed you, and I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

I looked at him, and I hummed kissing the top of his damp head before moving my head away, closing my eyes letting out a soft breath.

"I've missed you too Eren, and don't worry it's gonna be okay one day."

A/N: thank you so much for reading!! I appreciate it alot, and thank you for the support it means the world to me!! I do birthday request fics so if you have a birthday coming up I worth for Levi Ackerman, Eren Yeager, and Steve Harrington for now!! I hoped you guys liked it mores on the way.

#eren yaeger imagine #attack on titan smut #eren yaeger x y/n #eren yeager smut #attack on titan #eren yeager angst #Destiny's anime fics

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tropicalchiaa · 4 years

Text

Him Pt 5

Maurizio Gucci X Reader

The Consequences

You are dealing with the aftermath of Milan and your healing process is interrupted

Enjoy ❤️

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4

It’s been about five months since Milan. Business is even better than ever, and you were happy. Have you called Maurizio? No. Have you responded to any of his letters? No. Have you opened any of his gifts? No again. None of that matter, both of you were better off without him.

Yes, you did just say both. Currently, you are 5 months pregnant with a healthy baby boy. I mean who were you kidding, there was not one condom wrapper in sight that day. The memory is still alive and well in your head. And when you are lonely at night you can still feel how his cock twitched inside your warm cunt. Leaving his cum in there for safekeeping.

This secret had to stay under wraps for a multitude of reasons. But the biggest is that you are potentially carrying his only son and way of keeping the Gucci legacy alive. No one knows the identity of the baby daddy but your close friend. Although she was livid when you broke the news to her, she quickly began to gush about being a Godmother and how both of you guys would raise this baby together. There was no reason for you not to keep the baby. You were rich, successful, and had a team that would surround him with all the love he could ask for.

Your annual summer party was coming up and you could not cancel it for anything. This party was the highlight of the season for the last 5 years and you would be damned if you let a baby get in the way. Also, you sent out the invitations months ago to the top brands, luckily already excluding House of Gucci.

So that leaves you here at your family’s Hampton estate putting the final touches on your party that is happening in a few hours. Praying that people can’t tell you are pregnant under your flowy white sundress. And hoping your new hairstyle will be enough to distract them, it usually is.

The party is in full swing and your secret was well kept so far. Sneaking back from another bathroom break you are halted by a deep voice saying, “Hi Princess.” No no no you thought. Not even wanting to engage you keep walking towards the party. Hoping for a slight chance you were imagining the voice or that you could get someone to buffer you from this man.

“Where do you think you are going?” The voice says grabbing your arm and pulling you towards them. “You weren’t invited,” you say plainly, trying to remove yourself from their grip. “Oh, that? I just assumed my invitation got lost in the mail, like all the other things I have sent you. Why do I get the feeling you do not want to see me? Because when I envisioned our reuniting, I always assumed you would pounce on me like a tiger eating his prey. But here you are acting as if we are strangers, why is that Princess?” They ask with emotion dripping from every word.

“I do not want to see you,” you say firmly, still avoiding looking them in the eyes. “Stop this nonsense and look at me Y/N!” They say pulling your chin up looks them in the eye. And when your eyes hit those blue ones’ reality hits you like a flood. And in some fight or flight attempt, you try to reason your way out of this situation.

“Please unhand me Maurizio,” more reality sitting in as you say his name for the first time. “I need to go host my party.” “Princess we need to ta--” and like a miracle your second assistant comes towards you mentioning a too drunk design executive. Looking over at him, you silently convey for him to let you go. But before he says, “We will talk later,” while letting go reluctantly. And boy was he waiting on the later, you could feel his intense stare everywhere you floated that afternoon.

Learning from your mistake you made sure to take your close friend with you on bathroom breaks to make sure you weren’t surprised by him again. Oh, how you wished he was some crasher that you could throw out. Fuck, why couldn't you get impregnated by a nobody?

Finally, as people are filtering out after the sunset dinner you feel some relief. You had seen Maurizio and his wife leave about 30 minutes ago, so you walked around without feeling eyes watching your every move. As you closed the door for the last time hopefully you hear him say, “Finally, I was beginning to think we wouldn’t be able to talk. Especially now that I know why you have been avoiding me.”

Whipping around you are again facing Maurizio with no escape. “You left, how are you even here?” You whimper out shocked. “Oh, that? I told my wife that we have a meeting for a collaboration of some sort. And because I have been feeding her alcohol all afternoon she left with little thought to my statement.” He says closing the distance between the two of you.

Your brain is moving a thousand miles per second, he knows you're pregnant! Your friends and assistants won’t be back for a few hours because they are driving people back to the city! “Please I made it very clear we had nothing to talk about, especially when you corner me like this.” You say, trying to keep as much confidence in your stance and voice.

“Princess, I wouldn’t need to corner you if you just stop ignoring me. Especially over something so small as gaining weight.” He says with a frown on his face. Gaining weight? “You think I am ignoring you because I gained weight?” You say confused. “Yes, I mean that is why you are wearing such a matronly outfit and your face is rounder. Plus, you didn’t take off your dress once and we both know how much you like to show off your body. But don’t worry your secret's safe with me, I am sure a nice diet can get you back in shape in no time.” He says putting a hand on your shoulder. “Plus, I love what the weight has done to your ass and breast, cannot wait to see them in their full glory in a second.” He says as he tries to pull your dress above your head.

“NOOO,” you say but it is too late, he has already seen your round belly and is frozen with shock. Scared of the reaction you close your eyes and hold your belly as you cower bracing yourself for impact. “You’re pregnant?” he says softly, staring at you with wide eyes. “Yes,” you say quietly, trying to distance yourself from him to gain some composure. “What? Wait did you think I was going to hit you?” He stutters out hurt.

“Umm no, it's just become an instinct to protect my belly no matter the threat.” You ramble out nervously. “But you think I am a threat? Why?” He says with a small pause and without missing a beat, “IS THE BABY MINE???” He screams as the realization hits him. “NO!” You say too quickly. Trying to rectify your response you say, “It’s my ex’s...” That lie wouldn't even convince a toddler.

“Y/N I am not going to ask you another time is this child mine and cut the bullshit when you answer next.” He says grabbing both your shoulders with a little shake. A small yes falls from your lips, feeling overwhelmed with no options. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He says stumbling backward-looking dazed.

Feeling anger flair in you, “WHY DIDN’T I TELL YOU?” You screamed “UMMM maybe it's because you have a family? Or maybe it was because I was used as a hooker. Oh no maybe it's because you are an arrogant asshole.” You spit out, each statement hopefully hitting like slaps. “You know what, just leave, I can’t do this right now. If you want to talk like civilized people you can come back tomorrow at 11:00 with some sense.” You say opening the door for him to walk out.

And for the first time ever Maurizio listened to you, walking out the door stunted. But before you could close the door he pulled you into a kiss then said, “I want to be in this baby's life and nothing is going to stop me. Not even you.” And with that, he took off walking towards his car after he subtly threatened you.

From closing the door to saying goodnight to the housing staff, his words hung over you like a dark cloud. Even as you were falling asleep, the threat replayed in your head. Tomorrow was going to be taxing, you could already feel it.

Ummmm, very cliche but I love ittttt!!!

Hope you enjoyed and as always leave feedback!

Taglist: @maybe-your-left @desiraypark @mysticalfairytales

#adam driver #black reader #poc reader #adcu fic #maurizio gucci #maurizio gucci x reader #maurizio gucci x you #tw alochol #tw based on real people #tw pregnancy

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hollandsrecs · 4 years

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completed series masterlist (1)

links last checked 16/12/2020 | more masterlists here

2 hearts, 22 calibers by heyhihellowhatsup0

summary: despite discovering the new owner of the club you work at may have his own secrets hidden, the temptation to get closer to him outweighs your trepidation...

12 days of christmas by keepingupwiththeparkers

24 hour, long lasting by madmadmilk

summary: a clumsy you, a tube of long lasting lipstick, a small case of stumbling, a stain, and a boy you never imagined to meet.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

against the agenda by cosmetologynerd

summary: he was tom holland; love was not on the agenda.

all of the lights by spiderboytherescue

always, yours by angelicholland

summary: you always knew you loved your best friend but you figured that he would never feel the same way, so you set those useless feelings aside. how will you cope when you find a box of letters that tells you otherwise? is it too late to let go of the butterflies trapped deep within you? would he even feel the same way anymore?

apartment 509 by sweetlysilent

summary: tom brings girls home almost daily, something that bothers you to the end of the world; whereas on the other hand you rarely go out, spending majority of your time focused on your studies, something that drives tom insane, the tension between the two of you becoming thicker, even more when he finds out you have a study date.

attachment by hazinhoodies

summary: maybe you held on a little too tight. you were only trying to salvage the most important relationship of your life.

beneath the waves by cosmetologynerd

summary: “please, i wish to be free.”

black beauty by blissfulparker

summary: tom, the king of hell, has no time for love or any woman in his life. he spends his days finding new punishments for the people who deserve it. you, spend your days in heaven making everyone happy. never wanting a soul to feel down. what happens when heaven decides to send you down to join tom in hell? why would they send their best angel to the devil himself?

born king by spiderboytotherescue

breaking curfew by wazzupmrstark

summary: when you got the job to be a counsellor at the summer camp you’d grown up attending all your life, you expected to see some familiar faces. but you certainly hadn’t counted on having to work alongside the boy who had made it his life’s mission to make your life a living hell every summer. in fact, you thought you’d never have to see tom holland again. but he’s is in the cabin right across from yours with campers of his own- smirk, jawline, and all. if you didn’t know any better you might’ve thought that he applied for the position just to spite you, but who were you kidding? what kind of asshole would do something like that?

clear by peeterparkr

summary: y/n is in town for summer, she wants the sea to wash away the pains of the past, however when a certain surfer comes into her life, the remaining salt might not decant, but maybe some sweet surprises might come to shore

complications by loserparker

summary: being roommates with tom was easy, fun. that is until feelings started getting involved. throw in the fact that both of you suck at communication and things are bound to get complicated.

contrapposto by madmadmilk

summary: you desperately needed a figure model for your upcoming art final and you find a friend willing to pose for you.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

dare you to move by starksparker

summary: friends with benefits is supposed to be just that. friends with the benefits of fooling around and not having anything more than platonic feelings. easy, fun, thrilling, no one gets hurt…right?

determined by blesshimnorris

summary: you are enjoying university life with your fellow housemates, except for tom, who seems to avoid or tease you every chance he gets. but with your birthday slowly approaching he finally tries to make amends.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

dine and dash by blissfulparker

summary: tom comes into your diner every tuesday and thursday, it is no secret that he only goes for you. when will he ever be brave enough to say something, when will you ever be brave enough to let him in?

eighteen by angelicholland

summary: y/n is tom’s math tutor and needed a date for sunday dinner. tom has tattoos all over and just looks like the type of guy who would piss off her parents. will their fake relationship turn into something so much more?

eloped by worldoftom

summary: you and tom have been in a secret relationship for a long time, but what would you do if tom proposed unexpectedly during your vacation in casablanca, morocco?

every step of the way by sunshinehollandd

summary: you and tom are best friends, and you have been for as long as you can remember. after one night, everything changes. but, tom is by your side every step of the way.

ex on the beach by heyhihellowhatsup0

summary: eight months after your ugly breakup with tom, you find yourself stuck together for two whole weeks at a private beach house. just you, tom, some mutual friends, what could possibly go wrong?

for king or country by avengers-sweethearts

summary: from the time you were a child you always lived in the castle. your mother and father were both servants and even after they died you stayed on as one yourself. prince yom was always someone you admired from afar. he was the nicest out of all the holland royalty and incredibly handsome. along the way of your daily duties the prince begins to pay you more attention when you save him from an awkward situation. things get more complicated when his jealous betrothed princess zendaya comes to court and stirs up trouble for the forbidden romance. will prince tom follow his heart or stay true to his country? most importantly of all, will you even make it out alive?

forbidden rose by avengers-sweethearts

summary: if there was one person who knew how to throw a party, it was tom holland. in 1922 partying wasn’t uncommon, but a tom holland party was like none ever seen before. the young billionaire thrived off of rumors and speculation. despite the parties being held weekly, no one had ever seen the mystery man. tom intended to keep it that way until one night an enchanting woman caught his eye. but what happens when her cruel fiancé is tangled up with demons from his past. will their love be enough to overcome the trouble that lies ahead?

forever by starksparker

summary: what happens when a fuckboy with some anger issues and a bad streak is forced to work alongside someone who’s his opposite? and what happens if they can be ripped from him in seconds?

ground rules by madmadmilk

summary: you just love holding someone, and being held. It’s not a hard thing to ask for, but it sure can be hard for someone to understand.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

happiness is a butterfly by blissfulparker

summary: you and tom spend your whole lives looking for your soulmates. how could you not see that you two were right under each other’s noses both coming from a mob family?

heart eyes by madmadmilk

summary: tom holland is a friend that you only see once or twice a year, but when the stars align and you finally start to get close to him again you realize that… you’ve never really known each other at all. he has an emoji tailing after every contact on his phone… but none for you. hm. a soft and bumbling story about how you get to know him, and how he gets to know you.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

heartbreak weather by t-holland2080

summary: after getting out of a rough relationship, you meet tom, who pulls you out of your heartbreak weather.

heavenly yours by tomsrebeleyebrow

summary: angels live in a perfect world. in a complete ivory tower. but loving someone else is forbidden. a true sin.

hostility by starsholland

summary: everything was going well in your life, living in LA, trying to make it big as a journalist, but all of that is foiled when tom holland walks into your life bringing drama and negativity. how much will you be able to take before you finally lose it?

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

hotlanta by hollandorks

summary: a fun night in atlanta forces the reader into a fake relationship with celebrity tom holland in order to save both of their careers.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

how to unlove someone by whatevsholland

i only feel you by stuckonspidey

summary: a world in which soulmates feel their other half, physically and emotionally. y/n has given up on finding her soulmate, given up on trying to decipher the sensations he feels and the lifestyle he leads–prompting her to give up on him. her other half, she’d come to find, is the leader of the holland crime family, and in no means the easiest person to love.

kiss currency by madmadmilk

summary: swapping underwear with your best friend’s best friend, while maintaining your cool composure. he’s cute, he’s funny, and you’d be down to kiss him at least once. :)

chapters: 0 | 1 | 2 | 3

lacuna by thollandss

summary: being friends with benefits with a celebrity isn’t easy. nobody said it was.

limits of desire by peeterparkr

summary: you met tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize how you really feel.

london boy by tonguetiedholland

summary: you’re a famous singer and actor whose break up with ex boyfriend, shawn mendes, has just hit the media. when it all feels a bit too much you do the only reasonable thing you can think of, escape to london and lay low for a little while. who knew that tom holland, the boy you’d only met once but had you in the palm of his hand when you did and vice verse, would also be in london at the same exact time?

lucky number by tomhollanders2013

summary: what happens when one of the world’s most famous celebrities accidentally dials your number instead of his new assistant’s... is it a happy accident or a recipe for disaster?

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

miss yer kiss by angelicholland

summary: a one-night stand turned something more, you and tom meet again against the odds. an aspiring tattoo artist and a famous actor with “i miss you” on the tip of your tongues meet again and again as you slowly realize what love looks like.

model for me by thollandss

summary: in which you are a photographer for GQ, and during a private session with tom holland, you find yourself getting to know him very well.

money can’t buy you love by hilllsnholland

summary: y/n has worked her whole life to get into the prestige university of her dreams. nothing can stop her, right? maybe tom holland, son of billionaires and the poster child of privilege, who has made it his mission to woo the ‘scholarship baby’.

more than i know by lauras-collection

summary: you need a date for your sister’s wedding and the stranger in the coffee shop seems to be the perfect choice. until you see pictures of yourself and him all over the internet because apparently he’s an international movie star and now the whole world thinks you’re dating. and you have to give the people what they want, right? even if it’s fake.

naughty or nice by avengers-sweethearts

summary: the holidays are the worst time to be alone, especially in a brand new city with a brand new job. when an unexpected meeting with famous actor tom holland ends in the exchanging of phone numbers you find yourself in the dangerous position of falling in love with hollywood’s hottest and most eligible bachelor. unable to help yourself, you being to fall for the handsome actor and will do almost anything to earn his affection. trying to balance work, love, and the holiday proves to be more of a challenge than you had initially thought. the million-dollar question is what side of tom’s christmas list will you end up on: naughty or nice?

of broken promises and heartbreak by softspiderling

summary: it’s been six years since you and tom broke up, six years since you’ve last seen each other. a lot has happened, tom got insanely famous, making countless billion dollar movies, attending one red-carpet event after the other. but now he was attending one event, he wasn’t sure he was ready for. your wedding. and he wasn’t attending as your groom.

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

paint the grass green by lauras-collection

summary: a complicated relationship ends when tom breaks up with you after a fight. but it’s about to get more complicated. because how are you going to tell him that you’re pregnant if he won’t let you talk to him? so you don’t. years later you run into harrison, and there’s no denying that it’s tom’s son who’s tightly holding onto your hand. harrison gives you an ultimatum: either you tell tom, or he will.

peppermint by hollandandi

perfidy by peeterparkr

summary: tom and you have been sworn enemies since you were young. however you happened to be best friends with the twins. when one of your friends challenged you to break tom’s heart, you immediately accepted to get back at him for all the times he’s hurt you. old feelings might come back, while both of you try to go past your pride and your lies.

philanthropy by museinmind

summary: things seemed to be going too well in your life when you became your sorority’s president. so of course something has to go sideways somehow, and you end up having to take a chemistry class if you want to graduate next year. so what better person to tutor you than tom, the frat ultra hot boy who hides the fact he has textbooks nearly memorized?

pinky promises by sunshinehollandd

summary: being a single dad to a four-year-old isn’t easy, but tom figures out a way to make it work with the help of his best friend.

season of reunions by unbelievableholland

summary: you were adopted by 2 mysterious agents. you knew you were adopted and you never thought about your original family. being content with the life your parents gave you, why would you? that was, until your parents are killed and you’re left to fend for yourself and with a lot of questions unanswered.

seeing the thing by angelicholland

summary: you’re stage-managing your school’s spring show, almost, maine when you’re taken out of your element by a cocky boy with a dazzling smile and a way to your heart that makes you hate him before you can see the thing.

sincerely, by whatevsholland

summary: you and tom were childhood best friends. but when he started dating the girl who got everything you ever wanted, it began a falling out between you and tom. now he’s back home in london, just in time for your sister to host her engagement party.

single all the way by heyhihellowhatsup0

summary: when tom finds out he has to go home for christmas, he decides to formulate plan so he doesn’t have to run into his ex alone. you.

soulmate by spiderboytotherescue

summary: sometimes finding your soulmate doesn’t always happen where you expect it too. and sometimes, you’re just not ready to fall head over heels in love just yet.

sweetener by keepingupwiththeparkers

summary: okay, so maybe lecture hall proximity and roast calibre weren’t the only reasons for your frequent visits to this particular coffee shop. maybe there was a certain brown eyed brunette who worked there, and maybe he always gave you two stamps on your loyalty card instead of one, and maybe you liked watching his back muscles shift under his stupidly tight t-shirt while he pumped sweet vanilla syrup into your cup. maybe.

take me out by angelicholland

summary: you killed people, people who deserved it, but you killed people and that was your reality. killing is a job for one person. add another and it gets messy. things don’t happen by chance, not in your line of work. you held people’s lives in your hands and made the active decision to end them. what happens when you team up with a gorgeous man with a charming british accent to take out a prolific user of a sex trafficking website? but it was not by chance that you fell in love with him, it was the worst decision you could’ve ever made.

the fame game by duskholland

summary: there’s just something about tom holland that makes your blood boil. he walks around like he owns the world, always with an unhelpful quip or irritating smirk on hand. you can’t stand him, and your feud has burned hard and bright for three years. everything changes following an explosive evening at the oscars, when a questionable encounter with the paparazzi lands you in some hot water with PR. the only way to save your shattered public image is to agree to the unthinkable: tom will be your boyfriend, and you will be his girlfriend - and this might just be your hardest performance to date.

the jar series by libertybarnes

summary: tom holland, notorious mob boss, meets a single mother and her bubbly child and has to learn to live life with something to lose.

the king by sadchappuccino

summary: y/n is an angel who fell from heaven, tom is the king of hell. will they put that aside and fall in love?

chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

the missing piece by avengers-sweethearts

summary: when you graduated with an elementary education degree you were lost. you thought you wanted to be a teacher but you weren’t entirely sure if it would make you happy. as you’re in between jobs, you’re lucky enough to stumble upon the opportunity to be a nanny for the very rich and very handsome single father, tom holland. tom is busy running a company and he doesn’t want his daughter ella to be alone or sent to a daycare. things get crazy when you move in with the little family. between some secrets about alla and the undeniable attraction between you and tom you’re not sure what your role is to this family. do you keep it professional or do you risk it all and take the chance of falling for tom? only time will tell if you’re the missing piece.

the situationship by fairytelling

summary: a cup of tea can solve just about any problem. except, it can’t solve your confusing, headache-inducing ‘situationship’ with your university flatmate, tom holland.

to new beginnings by petersshirts

summary: it’s time to settle down and when your best friend asks you to have a child with him, how could you say no?

two lies and a truth by lauras-collection

summary: you wanted a fresh start. and uni seemed like the perfect opportunity. until you bump into tom. he says he’s sorry for everything he’s done to you. but can you trust him?

untitled by marvelbws

summary: suits, smirks, and a major sex appeal.

vlogs by spideyyeet

summary: being in the vlog squad was dope af but having david dobrik run into tom holland and getting him to surprise you was a whole other thing. now let’s see what’s it like to have tom meet the vlog squad and be with the girl that’s making him rethink some decisions.

we’re only kidding ourselves by wazzupmrstark

summary: you work as a production assistant for the spider-man: far from home crew, or rather as tom holland’s handler. the two of you don’t get along very well to say the least, but you won’t quit and he can’t fire you so you’re stuck with each other.

wicked games by captainmarvels

summary: in which tom holland, overwhelmed by his personal demons, seeks comfort in the only ways he knows how; spending money and rough fucking. the hotheaded ceo with major daddy issues can’t seem to get it quite right when it comes to you, but is there hope for his heart?

with love, tom by thollandss

summary: when an envelope addressed to tom makes its way into your mailbox, you realize he has enlisted in the army. your walls begin to crumble down at the idea of him leaving you like this. alone for eight weeks. he makes a promise to you, a promise that every week he is gone, he will send you an update letter... but soon enough, you start to not receive them.

yellow roses by grussell63

summary: tom’s mother has him participate in a bachelor-like dating competition, because she is tired of him sleeping around. furthermore she decides to bring in his best friend to spy on the contestants. is tom going to find the one amongst the 12 candidates or is he just going to play his little games?

chapters: 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | EPILOGUE

#tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland oneshot #tom holland imagine #tom holland series #tom holland fic rec #masterlists #series masterlist

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alyjojo · 1 year

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Love Reading 🤩 - April 2023 - Capricorn

Singles:

Overall energy: The Star

How you will meet: The Fool rev

How they will treat you: 5 Wands

Long-term Potential: 10 Pentacles

Oracle: Zen as Fuck 🧘‍♂️

This is cute. You know this person from the past, but I don’t get that it’s an ex. Ace of Pentacles would describe them, that’s someone you would know/knew of more casually but you never dated. Like “oh, that person is nice” and there’s nothing beyond that, but your perception of them is positive. How you meet them could be an accident, reckless or spontaneous, but not the most positive, like spilling coffee on you accidentally. Or running into them at the club when they are LIT and…maybe they throw up on your shoes 😆 Whatever it is, they apologize profusely for it if that applies and/or are very embarrassed. They’ve been hurt before & have very little confidence dealing with you at all. But whatever this is that happens is what opens the door to interact more. It’s like they have to lighten up a little and laugh about it. How they treat you is living in their head stressing about it, they probably have air in their chart. They’re conflicted over what’s even possible with you, where you could go or how far this can go, they’re daydreamy and think about you a lot as *something*, but they immediately shut it down with Ace of Swords. They think they’re being unrealistic. Talk themselves out of it. With that, I don’t know how this goes anywhere at all, but the messages are really sweet, and the long term is 10 Pentacles. That’s a fantastic outcome, having started at an Ace. Ace of Pentacles is the start of something real that can really blossom.

Messages -

Their side:

- I see you EVERYWHERE!

- Lighter Skin Tone

Your side:

- There is not ENOUGH of me for YOU.

- It’s always been you 💯

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Virgo, Leo & Scorpio

Couples:

Overall energy: The Lovers

Current: King of Pentacles

Challenge: 4 Wands

How they feel about you: 8 Pentacles rev

How you feel about them: The Hermit

Outcome: 10 Cups

With your Oracle card, I don’t see that as “entities”, but your person may be dealing with some shadow work. Your feelings for them are The Hermit & High Priestess, that’s dark night of the soul energy. Or extremely spiritual. You can feel their vibe is off, and it’s probably on your nerves. They may have hit rock bottom in their own way, your side shows having possibly lost a job & looking for another, heavy debts, money issues. You could be having to move, and that’s the challenge. For others, just getting on the same page of a stable relationship is the challenge. You do speak a lot, but not with any depth, you could wonder what’s really on your person’s mind because they’re secretive or just really quiet. Contemplative. Could be giving you the silent treatment because of something you’ve said or done. Money is the problem, separately and together, it’s causing a lot of unnecessary stress. By the end of the month, you have 10 Cups and 6 Wands, the two of you are going to overcome all of these issues and burdens successfully, don’t lose hope or allow yourself to get too frustrated. Your messages show you as being a sweetheart even having your own stress & issues, and your person has some inner darkness or insecurity to face, but you seem to understand, though you do need to call a spade a spade when you see one.

Some of you may have separated entirely, for a small period, and by the end of the month you will have made up again. To come up as The Lovers shows this person could be a soulmate. It’s just a rough patch - for them - from what I can tell 🙏

Messages -

Their side:

- Too Little, Too Late.

- I need a BREAK from this.

Your side:

- Sweet as Candy 🍭

- You are the YIN to my YANG ☯️

Oracles -

A wise woman once said “fuck this shit,” and she lived happily ever after.

Their side: There’s never an easy way to do anything worthwhile; through hard work, you learn.

Your side: You can spot dark entities because they act like they’re never wrong and everything is about them. You don’t need them in your life!

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini, Taurus, Aries, Virgo & Sagittarius

#capricorn tarot reading #love reading #couples reading #singles reading #april 2023 #Capricorn #tarot #free readings #tarotblr

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

Text

Top 5 Reasons Javier Garcia’s Pretty Great

Of all the games in TWDG, A New Frontier seems to get the most shit. Stick around this fandom long enough and that’ll become apparently pretty quick, especially on other platforms such as reddit and instagram... and y’know, I get it. ANF is far from perfect, parts of the storyline go no where and characters don’t get the development they should have, a lot of people were upset that Clementine wasn’t the main playable protagonist, and certain character models look like... well, they look like potatoes.

Hell, I’ve talked to some people who flat out say they don’t even consider ANF as part of the canon and skip it when they replay the series, which.... harsh, but you do you. However, if you do skip over ANF for whatever personal reasons you have, you are missing out on what I would consider the best part of that game: Javier Garcia.

I love Javi, and I will stand by the fact that he’s a pretty damn good playable protagonist. I just wish more love and time was put into developing ANF to give him an even better story but y’know... Telltale was goin’ through shit, so we got this...

But, I still wanna talk about how great I think Javi is so c’mon, let’s take a walk.

5. Javi’s relationship with David

Now this might come off as a weird one, especially if your Javi has a more hostile relationship with David. Even so, I find the dynamic between Javi and David to be one of the more compelling aspects of ANF and I wish it was more front and center than it is but y’know.

So we got Javi, who is the younger, more irresponsible brother who became this hotshot baseball star only to lose it all by gambling. Then you got older brother David who is a military man with a couple kids and a second wife, and he’s always felt a little overshadowed by Javi. This creates this dynamic of brothers who do love each other, but don’t always know how to communicate and confide in one another and it can lead to a lot of tension or hostility.

The route I usually take with a Javier who tries his best with David, who wants this connection despite everything, who made the promise to their father to look out for David and be there for him, to stand with him when he needs it, y’know?

Some stand out moments for me is during the baseball flashback when David’s trying to open up about something, but struggles because Javi isn’t taking a hint about the serious nature, when they stand together on the roof, and the last conversation we see between them if David survives.

Oh, and ya can’t forget the “I love you”’s when David is two seconds away from murdering Javi... that’s the good shit.

And y’know, on the flip side where Javi is against David every step of the way, you can still argue that acts as a more tragic yet compelling story of two brothers who never saw eye to eye, never tried to, and it ended in tragedy... I personally don’t prefer this route, but to each their own.

Again, this is at #5 because it’s not handled the greatest and it’s a bit of an unpopular choice.... but I don’t care, Javi and his relationship with David is one of my favorites.

4. He’s pretty charming, isn’t he?

I’m sorry, I can’t help it.... if a charming character can make me laugh, then I almost always end up loving them. Javier Garcia is so damn funny and I love him for it.

Yeah, ANF is a mess but this dude makes it so much better with his dialogue, a great performance by Jeff Schine, great facial expressions, and just an overall charismatic air around him.

He’s just super likable, okay? Even when you play him as a total bastard, I have a hard time not enjoying his presence. I’ll be honest, if Javi wasn’t the playable protagonist or if he was this bland, watered down version of himself... I might be one of those people who skip over ANF.

He’s easily one of my favorite parts of this game and one of the few redeeming things about it.

3. His growth as a character

Like I mentioned in #5, when we first meet Javi he’s this irresponsible ex-professional baseball player who wasn’t around, even though his father was dying from cancer. After his father dies and he runs to try and make it home in time... he’s too late and David and their mother are pretty upset with him.

And then his father turns into a walker, and the apocalypse happens. Javi is now trying to survive with Kate, Gabe, and Mariana while everything goes to hell around them. But for someone known to not be around or to skip out when things get a little tough, Javi doesn’t abandon them. Nope, he stays with them for years, traveling around and surviving, making sure they have what they need.

By the end of the game? Javi’s proved to be a leader, proved that he’s better than he once was. Again, this is ANF so this growth isn’t super smooth or the greatest, but damn it, Javi makes it work.

He and his family, no matter the combo you got, are staying in Richmond and they’re going to try to start over and rebuild it, make it better than it was.... which I can only assume they succeeded because after that they were never heard from again.

Also, Javi is constantly having shit thrown his way and somehow he manages to pull through.

So good job, Javi, you did it.

2. Javi’s got a lot of force

Listen... Javi is so fun to play as. Like okay, I know that Telltale games don’t have the most complex combat system... you literally just push the buttons as they appear on screen. But I don’t care because Javi makes that fun.

Javi really puts all of his weight into each hit and you feel it. I don’t know how to explain it, but there’s something satisfying about the way Javi fights with a melee weapon, and it’s not something you feel when you play as Lee or Clementine. You do get it a few times when you place as Michonne in the mini-series, but even then, I would argue that Javi did it better.

It’s especially prominent towards the end of ep5 if you go after David and Gabe, and Javi’s on this motorcycle with his damn bat knocking over walker after walker until he finds them... then you get all this intense force when Javi is just gunning and beating down walker after walker to get to the vehicle Gabe and David are trapped in. I love it so much, it’s easily one of my favorite moments in ANF.

Don’t get me wrong, I have fun playing as Lee and Clementine, but Javier Garcia hits different, y’know?

1. He’s really trying his best to care for everyone, okay?

When we think of Lee as a playable protagonist, we tend to think about how wise he was, how he always seemed to know what he was doing and how much he was willing to sacrifice for Clementine... and when we think of Clem as a playable protagonist in S2, we’ve got this sad little girl who gets punished no matter what she does, she’s smart and often underestimated, but she makes plenty of mistakes which she learns from.

And then we have Javi who has a bit of both in him. He’s older and can have his moments of wisdom [like with Gabe and Clem] but he also has plenty of mistakes he’s gotta learn from and sometimes no matter what he does, everything goes to hell... but Javi does manage to stand out on his own among these two.

Javi does what he can, he tries his hardest to look after these kids even though he never planned to be a father figure, he works with Kate to make sure they’re safe. When he fucks up, he tries to make things right... even though it doesn’t always work out. He loves Gabe and Mariana, and you can see and feel his heartbreak when he’s the one to bury Mari after she’s killed.... and now he has Gabe, who’s hurting, and he does what he can to make sure he doesn’t meet the same fate which.... sometimes doesn’t work out depending on your ending.

I just-- he’s trying, okay? Javi is trying his best and I love him for it.

---

Honorable Mentions

-Javi has some of the best deaths/fails moments... seriously, I could watch him confidently run right into those metal stairs and fall to his doom a hundred times. -He’s a literal disaster bi. -He fucking loves pudding and I mean, who doesn’t? Y’know? -His bromance with Tripp is pretty good until Tripp dies for death quota reasons.

---

So what are your thoughts on Javier Garcia? Do you agree with these reasons, or do you have any to add? Lemme know, it’s always fun to have character discussions.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F

#twdg t5f #twdg javi #twdg david #twdg gabe #twdg mariana #twdg kate #twdg clementine

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7soulstars · 4 years

Text

Emerging of Kalon

Request: I need some new johnny depp fics in my life where I want a reader with insecurities and johnny reassuring her that he loves her the way she is.Maybe she is a bit more chubby than his past gfs and she has to wears glasses.Abd thanx so much for accepting it.

Yooo this imagine is soo important to me. As a person who had a lot of insecurities and has suffered through depression.It is really important for me to spread a certain message to others like me. I have this belief that you aren’t born with insecurities,you are made to have them.Don’t point out things to people that would make them uncomfortable in the long term guys it becomes quite scarring for them and it also makes you a damn bully. Also it is normal to have stretch marks, tummy rolls ,acne, scars ,body hair and all that stuff, Man or Woman or any other gender you identify as.That’s what makes you human.If people can’t accept you for who you are please cut them out of your life.Ya’ll beautiful and I love ya’ll. Hope you like this !!

................

Pairing : Johnny Depp x Reader

Warnings : TW,Nosy people who like putting others down for fun, Signs of depression,Suicide attempt,Angst,Swearing, Fluff, Johnny being the absolute sweetheart he is.

................

Kalon ;Latin for ideal beauty in all, physical ,spiritual and moral forms

1.Instigation.

“I still can’t believe THE Johnny Depp went for you after his past ones”,said someone snapping her out of her trance.”Pardon ?”,she asked as if to confirm whether she heard him right . “I mean look at you....His exes were all supermodels weren’t they? Not a single flaw..”,the man guffawed.”Well you have have a micropenis why did your wife choose you?”,her bestfriend snapped crudely making her cringe.”Let’s go Y/N “, Y/BF/N said dragging she out of the restaurant .Well this wasn’t how I wanted college reunion to end up like,thanks Nathan she thought. “Are you alright Y/N ?”, Y/BF/N asked. “Of course”. No I’m not. “It doesn’t bother me at all.” It bothers me too much. “Nathan’s a dick .Don’t let it get to your head EVER”. But he’s right, his words are already in my head. “Yeah...”

2.The disquieting

“Hey glasses ! Looking ugly as always.”

“Look at her hogging like a pig, hey fatty you want more?”

“Darling why don’t you try going on a diet.”

“Don’t watch telly, you’re blind enough already”

“Jason what do you think of Y/N ?” “Damn man she was not even my type”

“Please Stop !”, Y/N woke up with a jerk, breathing in short gasps .”Johnny-”,she stops cutting herself off as she looked at the empty looked at the empty side on her bed. He isn’t in the country she remembered . Silence. She stared at the framed picture of them together on the wall. Plip. A tear fell. Plip Plip. Two more,before she couldn’t control it any more. The past wouldn’t change.She knew it would haunt her forever. But they had stopped for a while. But since Nathan ,it came back harder than ever. She didn’t tell Johnny, she’d never tell him , the last thing she wanted to do is to become a larger burden. So she cried herself to sleep every single day.

3.Repressing

Y/BF/N frowned as she looked at Y/N’s lunch. “Since when do you eat salads ?Hell,that isn’t even salad it’s just *ugh* lettuce....”,she says looking at the leafy stuff with absolute disgust. Y/N looked at her as if she did not understand what she was saying “I love salads,you know what? I’m not that hungry.....better get back to work! See you later!”,she said leaving as she didn’t even let the other speak. Starving, Hurting, Looking into the mirror and hating herself. The cycle continued.This was going to be dangerous in the days to come and she knew that too.

4.Avoiding

6 missed calls from Mom

19 missed calls and 87 messages from Y/BF/N

40 missed calls and 150 messages from Johnny

3 notifications from Twitter.

No one had seen her in 4 days .The telly changed channels at Johnny’s apartment .Things scattered around as a trembling hand set down the remote . Fat tears dampened the pillow as her eyes read the news headline. ‘Johnny Depp at a dinner date with ex wife Vanessa ? Is he finally done with his simple girlfriend ?’

5. Falling

This was it.She ended up the way she predicted she’d end up 10 years ago. Weak,Tired,Empty and Lonely. She stared at the bathtub as it filled itself until it was overfilled,water spilling out of its sides as it splashed onto her feet. She didn’t flinch at the coldness.She stayed robotically still, looking down at her palm. A blade. Without hesitating she got into the tub,the tap still running. She didn’t think anymore,tears wouldn’t fall even if they wanted to. She closed her eyes as she let her self go ,ignoring the frantic ringing of her phone and the banging on the apartment door.

6. Alerting

To say Johnny was concerned was an underestimation.Y/N wasn’t picking up his phone since several days .He was distracted, couldn’t concentrate and worry filled his entire existence.He didn’t know what to do,even going as far as asking his ex wife for advice.He decided to go back ,back to his girlfriend’s loving arms.

The moment he stepped back into the city he took his time.Picking out her favourie flowers ,the chocolate she always loved and a little something of importance. He ignored the notifications is phone was chiming with, his mind only full of thoughts of her....The thoughts were short lived , disturbed much to Johnny’s dismay by Y/BF/N’s call. He ignored once,ignored twice but after that he knew something was wrong.”Johnny !”, panicked voice spoke through the phone. A frown replacing the man’s smile “Did Y/N text you that absurd note too?” “No,wait Y/BF/N let me check”,he put the call on hold as his eyes skimmed over the words displayed on his screen. His phone now dropped on the car floor he wished all of it was a dream.They stopped as he stormed out, back to his apartment. He knocked wildly on the door but not a voice came nor a cackle. He threw his body on the door several times ,”Goddamitt Y/N OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR DON’T PLAY WITH ME RIGHT NOW !”.In his panicked feat he had forgotten he had the keys until they dropped out of his jacket pocket.He didn’t wait a moment as he fumbled it into the key hole ,kicking the door open as soon as it opened.

Silence.

Splosh . The sound of water hitting the ground from the bathroom echoed in the whole house.

“Y/N ?”, Johnny softly whispered as he pushed open the bathroom door. A horrific scene unfolded before him.

7.Mourning

It had been two days and Johnny wouldn’t budge.He saw red that day and the site still wouldn’t leave his thoughts alone.He would neither eat,nor sleep as he sat beside his beloved girlfriend who lay on a hospital bed. Dark Enough by Amanda played on the radio. The text message, and the talk with Y/BF/N replayed in his head as if war replayed in a retired soldiers dreams. “I didn’t know you were hurting that bad”,he whispered, tears threatening to fall again. He place his head on her stomach as he let the silent tears fall,until her hand fell on top of his head.

8.Resuscitation

Johnny jerked up ,his eyes as wide as saucers, as he froze with eyes full of pain and hurt.Y/N did not dare meet his gaze.She felt ashamed and disgusted. But those feelings were immediately replaced with shock as Johnny almost lunged at her,hugging her tight. “I was so scared I was so fucking scared when I saw that text and then you drowning in the red water filled in the bathtub ! I thought you’d left me ! I thought you died you weren’t breathing...How dare you think of yourself that way how dare you think you were not good enough !? You were the best fucking thing that happened to me since my kids goddammit !”. Y/N had never seen Johnny this mad.Hell, she had never even seen him cry. She didn’t know how to answer him, she was too ashamed.He wouldn’t break the hug, as if he would loose her if he did. He loved her too much. “Why ?”,he asked again,as if he was begging for an answer. Even a word. He just wanted to hear her voice. “I was scared...”,her voice cracked coming out much broken than she predicted. “ I didn’t think I deserved you, I thought I’d never reach the levels of those beautiful actresses and models.I was scared to tell you about my past..I was scared to bother you...”. Johnny’s heart broke. He never thought his Y/N would think that way. She was always smiling .Not even a little frown on her face. Always there for everyone. Yet no one comforted her. How could he never see it? Of course he couldn’t see it she was perfect to him.His Y/N was the most perfect person in the world. “I love you”, he blurted. He never said that.He was too shy. But he hugged her tighter ,” I love you so much. Even with scars,insecurities or that ugly face you make when you see things you do not like. You were, have and always will be the most perfect to me. Please....don’t do that again...”

9.Emergence

Y/N was discharged from the hospital in a few days. Johnny wouln’t leave her side. All his attention would be on her to see if ate well, and loved herself. Y/N felt safe. And she wasn’t wrong . Johnny was everything she deserved.

They sat on the rooftop of a cafe in Paris. A calm silence passing over them. “Y/N ?” ,Johnny asked. “Hmm?”,she hummed along, silence entailing after. ”Marry me ?”,he asked. That was the day Y/N was the most happiest, and did the beautifully emerged Kalon say yes? you’d ask. She said it without a second to spare. After all our Kalon had found her wings.

“No one is born ugly, we’re just born in a judgemental society”~ Kim Namjoon(BTS)

----The End----

Whew ! After all the procrastination and time I took brainstorming this baby is done! This was requested by the wonderful @anycsirp I really really hope you liked this ! Also I meant what I said before the start of this oneshot . YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. PERIODT. Please do like and comment your opinions! I really hope to read em ! I’m not that great of a writer but I did my best !

~Love, Hri

#johnny depp fan fiction #johnny depp imagine #johnny depp x reader #johnny depp x y/n #johnny depp x you #fanfiction #request #ask hri #send asks #imagines #self love #insecurity #love yourself #kim namjoon #kalon

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bqstqnbruin · 4 years

Note

Can I get 35, 36, 50 from the angst list with Seguin please??? Thanks! 😊

35. “I loved you. I loved you so much but you hurt me.”

36. “They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.”

50. “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

This is the LAST BLURB which I think brings the total to 26 (idk I lost count, y’all) shoutout to @mbarzals @pucksnsticksnhockeyboys @verdandi-storm @maybehockeymaybenot and the anons who made this a full send team effort because I’m the worst and couldn’t think of how to write this to save my life, but this got long so have f u n

See ya!

Boston, December 6, 2011

Tyler Seguin: healthy scratch for tonights game against Winnipeg. Bruins’ Tyler Seguin will not suit up for tonight’s match against the Jets, for . . .

You couldn't help but groan at the headline that popped up on your phone while you were in class, thankful that no one heard you, or, at least, no one acknowledged your groan. Tyler’s antics were getting to be too much for you. If he kept this up, you thought Boston would trade him. Actually, you knew Boston would trade him. The team didn’t take shit like this, going so far as having people standing outside his hotel room so he wouldn’t sneak out and party.

‘You need to call me when I’m out of calc’ you text him, already feeling the anger boiling up inside you. You knew you were overreacting, but you knew he did something stupid, even after you told him that his actions have consequences, multiple times. He didn’t seem to think so, telling you that your ‘baby sitting’ was getting annoying.

“What?” he says, calling you the second you step out of the classroom.

“Wow, hi to you, too.’

“What do you want?” he snaps.

“Ok. You do not need to snap at me. I’m just trying to ask why are you scratched tonight?”

“I got hurt at practice.”

“You don’t get listed as a healthy scratch for injury. I’m not stupid Tyler, don’t treat me like I am.”

The cold Boston air hits your face when you exit the building, heading back down the street towards your dorm. The wind made your eyes water, tears rolling down your cheeks to complete the upset expression that was already plastered on your face.

“Fine, I missed team breakfast, happy Mom?”

“Fuck off, Tyler,” you say into your phone, hanging up on him before either of you could say any more. You loved him, you loved that he was doing what he was passionate about, but you just knew that he was going to ruin it somehow. You didn’t plan on leaving Northeastern, but he was definitely going to be leaving Boston.

Your phone starts ringing with a call from Tyler an hour after you get back to your dorm, interrupting the studying that you were doing for your upcoming finals.

“What?” you answer, giving it back to him.

“I’m sorry,” he squeaks out on the other end. You wait in silence, wanting him to go first, “I was pissed that I got scratched but I made a dumb mistake so it’s my fault and then when you asked me to call I panicked and took it out on you and I’m so sorry,” he says in one sentence.

“Ty, I get that you were mad, but you can’t take it out on me like that. This is what they warned me about.”

“About what?”

“You. Your anger. It’s not ok.”

“I know,” he says, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

La Jolla, July 4, 2013

“Well, what do we do now?” he asks you. He just got the call that he had been traded to Dallas in a seven player trade, the two of you sitting on the couch of your home. You were visiting your hometown for the Fourth of July. Your entire family was outside, playing, talking, laughing, enjoying themselves by the pool in the warm summer sun while you two were sitting inside, the chill from their air conditioner adding to the goosebumps you already felt from the news.

You take a deep breath, scared of what his answer you be to: “What do you want to do?”

“It’s not what I want but it’s what I think we have to do.” Neither of you can look at each other. You don’t want to break up, but how are you going to stay together when he’s off to Texas and you still have two more years in Boston? “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you,” he lets out, looking down at his hands in his lap.

“What?”

“If I were better then I wouldn’t get traded. I wouldn’t be leaving you. I wouldn’t-”

“No, hey,” you cut him off, “You can’t blame this entirely on yourself,” you say, immediately regretting adding in ‘entirely,’ “This is just hockey. This is just the business of the sport. You’re more than enough, Ty. You always have been.”

Boston, November 5, 2013

This was the first time you were going to see Tyler since he got traded, his first Boston game since he was traded after their last cup run. You hadn’t talked much since he moved to Dallas, only a text here and there, specifically today to ask you if you could see him after the game.

The two of you planned to meet at McGanns, right near the Garden. You were nervous to see him, unsure of what would happened between you. Part of you was relieved that he wasn’t there before you, debating on waiting in the cold that had come early to the city, completely skipping over the fall that was supposed to come.

You still cared for him. He was your first love, something you could never forget.

“Hey,” he says, standing awkwardly next to the table. You weren’t sure what to do, settling on getting up, an awkward hug before you both sit down. “You look good.”

“So do you.” If felt weird. It felt like he wasn’t your Tyler. You sit there in silence for a few minutes, just looking at the menu, both of you pretending that this wasn’t killing you inside.

“I have to tell you something,” he says, out of the blue. You look at him, waiting for him to continue. “I start seeing someone in Dallas.”

You know you looked shocked, no matter how much you tried to hide it. You nod, trying to figure out what to say in response. You hadn’t even thought about another guy, your friends dragging you to frat parties, trying to get you to look in the direction of the hockey team since they decided that was your type, but none of them were what you wanted. None of them were Tyler.

“I need you to know,” he starts, closing his eyes. You had never seen him like this, nervous and all, “I need you to know that I loved you. I loved you so much it hurt.” His words take you by surprise, especially given the past tense. Loved. Not love.

You take in a deep breath, putting your coat back on. “It couldn’t have hurt that much that you fell out of love so quickly,” you say to him, getting up and leaving him alone at the table, the wind hitting your face as soon as you left.

Dallas, September 9, 2019

Your new coworker, Kayleigh, convinced you that getting a dog would help you with your move. That way, you would have someone to talk to while you were trying to make friends at your new job. You took Cooper to the local park, enjoying the Dallas sun while you watched other people with their dogs running around.

There was on guy in particular you were focused on that Monday afternoon, finishing the work you had to take home. There was something about him, you couldn’t quite figure it out. The tattoos? No. The beard? No. Even with the sunglasses he had on, the way he was playing with his dogs was still a turn on for you. All you could do was hide behind your own sunglasses and watch.

You were focusing on your computer, unaware of the dog coming barrelling at you.

“Cash, no!” you hear someone say as a black dog comes running towards you, licking your face before running around with Cooper. “Sorry about that,” the tattoo beard man says, standing in front of you, blocking the sun.

“It’s no problem,” you laugh off as he sits down next to you, watching your dogs play. “Cooper could use some friends.”

“Is he your only dog?”

“Yep. You?”

“Two others.”

You fall into an easy conversation with this guy, not even knowing his name. Something about him was familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. You look at his shirt, a gray dry fit, a familiar logo sitting on it. “Oh, did you go to Northeastern?” you ask, pointing to the small husky emblem on the sleeve.

“No, my ex went there.”

You take off your sunglasses, him doing the same. “Tyler?”

#tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagines #dallas stars #dallas stars imagines #stars #stars imagines #hockey #hockey imagines #nhl #nhl imagines

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thechangeling · 3 years

Note

5, 9 and 42 for the autism asks 💕

Hey! 🥰

5. There are a lot of things I could say for this answer. But the main one is that I wish people knew that we have a very hard time naming and identifying feelings sometimes. To me emotions take a while to hit me and even then sometimes it's still hard to figure out what's going on. To me all emotions basically feel the same. Like pain. Pain or tightness in my chest. I basically have to figure out what it means based on the context.

9. My very first spin (special interest) was when I was 4 and I was obsessed with Blues Clues. Especially Magenta. Magenta even became my favorite colour for a really long time.

42: All right buckle up kids. So Angel the series is the spin off show of Buffy the vampire slayer. Angel is basically Buffy's vampire ex boyfriend with a soul who left the town of Sunnydale to go to LA and fight demons because he knows he and Buffy can't be together anymore (essentially because he's a vampire and she's the vampire slayer.) It's worth mentioning here that vampire don't have souls. Angel got his back through a curse that was put on him against his will as a punishment for killing this girl (sorry I feel like I'm just dumping information on you lol,) who was a member of a Romani tribe. This was way back in the 1700s btw.

The thing is, without souls vampires lack the moral compus that allows you to make morally correct decisions. It also stops you from growing and learning and changing. Vampires are static. They never change. They can feel but it's always selfish and self serving. Without a soul, love looks more like obsession. Before Angel had his soul he was known as Angelus and he was a horrible brutal killing machine essentially. He was the absolute worst of the worst. But then he was cursed and he got his soul, and now he's trying to redeem himself for all of the horrible things he did.

So that's essentially what Angel the show is about. He goes to LA to atone for his sins and fight evil without Buffy. The entire show is about redemption and becoming a better person and finding forgiveness and empathy from people. The show serves as a metaphor for alcoholism. Angel is the alcoholic who has gone off human blood and made a commitment to being good and essentially staying sober.

In his fight against evil he meets up with people who want to help, some new faces and some people he knew from Sunnydale (they were on Buffy) and they decide to create a detective agency so they have a more organized approach to helping people. And thus Angel Investigations is born. People with supernatural problems essentially hire them to deal with it, usually dispatching some demon or vampire or whatever and then the team gets paid.

Also occassionally there's some big apocalyptic threat that they have to fight. But going back to the alcoholism metaphor, you could say that his closest friend Cordelia is kind of like his sponsor. Now Cordy started out on the show Buffy The vampire Slayer as a spoiled, rich, shallow popular girl who in the beginning was an antagonist to Buffy and her friends but then as she learned of the supernatural world, she began to help them. Towards the end of the third season of Buffy and almost the end of high school, Cordelia's family loses all of their money and she loses essentially everything she had and her sense of who she is. She can't go to college because she can't afford it so she moves to LA in an attempt to have a career as an actress and runs into Angel who she knew before as Buffy's boyfriend. She starts helping him and comes up with the idea for the agency in the first place as a way to make money but as time goes on she becomes more motivated to actually help fight the forces of evil (I'm trying not to give away spoilers but I'm terrible at giving summaries.)

There relationship is something that has always been super special to me and I think it always will be. The sponsor element to their friendship is super evident in episodes like Sommunambulist, as is the addict metaphor.

Spoilers:

Sommunambulist is essentially about an old protege of Angelus' named Penn, someone Angel sired when he was Angelus coming to town and committing a bunch of murders identical to the ones he used to commit back in ye olden times. He tries to draw Angel back into his old life that he had without a soul.

We can read this as a fellow addict coming back into Angel's life, finding out that he's trying to stay sober now and trying to draw him back in with the allure of drinking. In this episode there is also Kate, a police officer that has been helping Angel with his cases by using her resources. They are allies of sorts. Now she's working the case of the people murded by Penn and she doesn't know about the supernatural world. She ends up in a position where her life is in danger but Angel saves her, revealing that he is a vampire to her. She understandably freaks out and later on goes to do research on vampires and on Angel. She learns all about Angelus and all of the horrible things he did before he got his soul. She judges Angel and Angelus as the same person and holds Angel responsible for Angelus's actions even though he didn't have a soul as Angelus.

So through Kate we see the person that only sees the addict as they once were, as the horrible things they did and the people they hurt. She refuses to see this new person. She doesn't trust this new person.

But Cordelia does. And during their scene on the rooftop, the final scene of the episode, Angel says to her "I wonder if anything really changes."

He's clearly let both Kate and Penn get inside his head, and now he's wondering if he actually can find redemption. Angel's probably also wondering if he himself has actually changed. I think when we here his line "I wonder if anything really changes" we can read that as him wondering if he has changed. If he is capable of change.

He's clearly spiraling, and as easy as breathing Cordelia catches him.

"Sure they do. You did."

She reassures him so effortlessly, like there's no doubt in her mind. Because there isn't. She believes in him.

It's also worth mentioning that in the show there is this omnipresent almost god like force called the powers that be. The powers are like the ultimate force of good supposedly and they send Angel visions of people in trouble through Cordelia. She gets the visions and then tells Angel who to save.

During their conversation on the roof, Cordelia tells him, "the message in my vision didn't come for Angelus it came for you! Angel. And you have to trust that whoever the powers that be..be...are...is, anyway, they know the difference."

The second step in AA is believing that a higher power can restore you back to sanity. On Buffy, Angel was killed at the end of season 2 by Buffy who had to kill him to stop the world from ending. But then he was mysteriously brought back at the beginning of season 3 and know one is sure why or what brought him back. This is actually never explained on either shows but I think it's heavily implied that the powers that be brought Angel back to life and gave him a second chance.

End spoilers:

But anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself. You should really watch the show, it's so good. You don't neccesarily have to watch Buffy to understand it but I still reccomend watching them both because they're so good.

#asks #mutuals!!#angel the series #buffy the vampire slayer #actually autistic

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seagreen-meets-grey · 3 years

Text

When Lightning Strikes Ch. 17

When your life is nothing but a cloudless sky, lightning can come and strike you so unexpectedly, you won’t even know what hit you.

Or: When Hiccup and Astrid meet, it is as if lightning strikes.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 15] [Chapter 16] [Chapter 18] [Chapter 19] [Chapter 20]

Crossposted on ao3 and ff.net

_______________

“I’m in love with you.”

Fresh raindrops were hitting the windscreen in an increasing rhythm, the backdrop to her thoughts.

“I’m in love with you.”

She turned on the wipers.

“But I can’t be your friend anymore.”

His voice was haunting her, words replaying in her ears over and over, accompanied by an electric jolt stopping her heart for a beat every single time. She almost anticipated a flash of lightning on the horizon, a crack of thunder rolling through her chest.

The drive back to Berk had never felt this long, the allowed driving speed never this slow. Eyes on the road, she fumbled for her phone, managing to connect it to the car one-handed. There was a call that absolutely could not wait.

It rang a few times, then cut off. Did she have no reception here? Didn’t he? Did he decline her call? Nervously tapping her steering wheel, Astrid flung the phone onto the passenger seat. She would try again if she got stuck at a traffic light. But traffic flowed freely and not much later, she parked in the same spot as mere hours before. She couldn’t believe so little time had passed since she had gotten ready for her lunch not-date (that had totally been an unofficial date).

Dashing through the rain, she quickly made it to the front door and rang the doorbell. But after fifteen minutes of repeatedly pressing the button, she concluded that he either wasn’t home or really did not want to open the door. She tried his phone again, but it just kept ringing and ringing. Which was weird, because he had specifically asked her to call him back, hadn’t he? Why would he not answer her calls now? Had he changed his mind, was he mad that she’d just left like that?

She racked her brain for where he could be, but the weather wasn’t leaving her a lot of options. He couldn’t be at work because it was a Sunday. She didn’t know where any of his friends lived. Hell, she only knew two names, maybe three if she counted the ex-girlfriend. Perhaps he’d gone to the forest again, despite the weather?

But his car was still parked to the side. Was he home after all? She tried the doorbell again, then rang for his neighbor. They could let her in so she could pound at his door, just in case his bell wasn’t working.

“Hello?” came a grumpy voice out of the speaker.

“Ah, yes, hi. I’m trying to get a hold of your neighbor, but he’s not opening. Could you let me in, please?”

“No.”

Briefly taken aback, she blinked a couple times. “I really need to–”

“I don’t know you. If they’re not opening, I won’t either. Good day.” The speaker crackled and went silent.

“Yeah, fuck you too,” she mumbled. “You got great neighbors, man.”

He still wasn’t answering her calls. At this point, she didn’t know whether to be annoyed or worried. Texting him a quick ‘where are you????’, she returned to her car and deliberated her next step. One option was to just wait here for him to get back. Call him over and over again until she got a reaction.

“Ugh!” With a frustrated groan, she threw her head back and closed her eyes. There was a way for her to reach someone who knew him, but even if she was successful, it would be a mighty awkward phone call and she would have to swallow a bit of pride.

“I’m in love with you.”

“Dammit!” She hit her steering wheel, accidentally setting off the horn. Hopefully, it had made Hiccup’s neighbor jump.

The next call went unanswered as well, but that only boosted her determination. There was no stopping her, not so close to her happy ending. She wanted to hear his voice, wanted to look into his wonderful eyes and scream at the top of her lungs, let out all her suppressed feelings that she’d been harboring for him ever since the moment his presence had first struck her like lightning. Three words, one breath. The clear answer he needed to hear from her, the one she needed to speak out loud.

She found Dagur’s contact in her list and sent him a short text, hoping he would help her out first and ask annoying questions later. And lo and behold, twelve minutes later, she had Heather Oswald’s number.

She picked up after the fourth ring. “Hello?”

“Hi. This is Astrid Hofferson, um... We’ve met a couple times, I’m–”

“Yeah,” Heather interrupted her in a tone Astrid couldn’t decipher, “I know who you are.”

“Oh, okay. Great. Uh, I’m looking for Hiccup, actually, and he’s not home or answering his phone. You’re the only person I could get a hold of who might know where he is or…”

“I have no idea.”

“Ah, well then, do you have an idea where I could look?”

The line went silent for a moment. “Without a clue about what’s going on, it’s hard to narrow it down.”

“Oh. Well, maybe–”

“Look, Astrid?” Heather interrupted her. “I know it’s not my place to say. But Hiccup is one of my best friends and he’s been pretty depressed because of you for the past two years. He… cares about you a lot.” Astrid tried to get a word in, but Heather didn’t let herself be interrupted. “I know you two are friends, but you’re not doing him any favors as long as you’re not honest with him.

“Heather, I-”

“Whatever it is you want from him, please tell him so he can stop driving himself crazy.”

“Yes, I know, that’s why I’m looking for him!”

“You are? Good. You might not be aware of it, but you have the power to absolutely break him. I’d rather you didn’t.”

Astrid gulped. “Yeah, believe it or not, he actually has the same power over me. Why do you think I’m calling his ex-girlfriend for help?”

Heather chuckled. “I haven’t heard from him this weekend, but I can think of a few others who might have. I can give you their numbers.”

“Thank you, seriously!”

“I’m doing it for him. Good luck.”

The line went dead and Astrid let out the tension in her shoulders with a sigh of relief. She didn’t have a new lead, but she had gained new options. And she’d just gotten the dad talk from her ex’s best friend’s sister.

Her phone buzzed with a few messages from an unsaved number, sending her a few contacts. She assumed the two people with Hiccup’s last name were his parents and decided to make them her last resort since there was no need to worry them about their son being uncharacteristically unavailable. Besides, they didn’t even know her.

Discovering she actually knew the other people Heather had referred her to, she decided to call Fishlegs first, hoping for not another lecture on how to treat one of his best friends. The one had been uncomfortable enough. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Hiccup, even unintentionally. He was way too important to her, had taken root inside her heart the moment he’d first smiled at her.

She still remembered how he’d been able to make her forget about the sea of people around her in a matter of seconds, joking around about something trivial, grasping her full attention so easily she’d even blinded out her own fiancé, who’d been right there next to her. Looking back, she could only shake her head at her own stubbornness in admitting her immediate attraction and the connection that had been there from the moment their eyes had met. Her skin tingled at the memory of that bolt of lightning striking her to the core…

With a wince, she pulled herself from her daydream, concentrating on the task at hand and making the next call. Fishlegs picked up almost immediately, voice a little wary of the unknown number calling him on a Sunday evening. The horizon was darkening gradually, the last rays of sunlight drowning in the incoming wave of night, the streetlamps outside flickering on one after the other.

Fishlegs didn’t know where Hiccup was. “Maybe his phone is dead? He sometimes forgets to charge it before it’s too late.”

“Nope, it’s ringing. The signal’s getting through. Which means that’s not it.” She didn’t want to waste her time theorizing about why he wasn’t picking up. She wanted to find him, then she could ask him and punch him for leaving her hanging like this. “But do you know where he could have gone on a Sunday night while it’s raining?”

“Hm. You say his car is home?”

“Yes.”

“Well, Snotlout lives nearby, that’s an old friend of his–”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know him.” Tucking her phone between her jaw and shoulder, she started her car. “Where does he live?”

Fishlegs gave her the directions and offered to stay on the phone so she could keep him updated, but she quickly thanked him and hung up before pulling out of her parking spot. This was the worst scavenger hunt ever. At least she could cross calling Snotlout off her list.

Severely hoping to either catch Hiccup this time or at least get a solid lead, she pushed the doorbell ten seconds long and then hit it repeatedly in a short span of time until she heard the static of the receiver.

“Whoever the fuck you are, fuck you. Hiccup, is that you? I want my jacket.” Well, so much for finding Hiccup here.

“No, it’s Astrid, we met once, I think you tried to flirt with me.”

“Wait, the Astrid? Hot Astrid? Hot-strid?”

“Call me that again and you’ll find out how hot my fist is!”

“Okay, okay.” She noted with satisfaction how he was trying to cover up that he was intimidated. “What are you doing here? Came here to get a taste of the Snotman?”

Deciding to ignore his immediate new attempt at flirting (she would handle that another time, for sure), she just rolled her eyes. “Have you seen Hiccup?”

Expecting the same answer she got from everyone else, she was surprised when he said, “Yep. He was here.”

“When?” She jumped on the information, leaning closer to the receiver.

“I don’t know, some time in the past couple hours? I was busy, I don’t check the clock on a Sunday.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Out.” Oh, she wanted to break the door in and slap him.

“But where, Snotlout?!” A dog started barking very closely to the intercom, making Astrid flinch away.

“Shut up, Hookfang! I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me. Sit, you dumb dog! He just came by for a jacket, he was kinda drenched. Pretty stupid, actually, because he had an umbrella and it wasn’t even raining when I looked outside.”

She bit her lip and frowned. So he was out somewhere, probably still in the rain. Great, so she just had to drive through town and search all the streets of Berk until she found him. At least she had some kind of solid plan now.

“Thanks, Snotlout.”

His answer was drowned out by the barking dog, then the intercom fell silent with a crackling static, but she was already sprinting back to her car. She tried calling Hiccup again, but then gave up with a groan; she wouldn’t reach him. He hadn’t read her text yet, either. So what now, call his parents if he had walked there? She didn’t even know if they lived in Berk.

Reaching for her phone again, she replayed his message. The butterflies tumbled through her stomach again when he said the five words she would never grow tired of hearing. There was the sound of traffic and rain in the background, but that didn’t help a lot, so she replayed it again. And there it was, another lead – he said he’d been at her parents’ place, looking for her. Of course! Maybe he’d mentioned more to whoever had answered the door.

She sped through town, parking right in front of the front door, something her father hated. But right now, she couldn’t care less. Fumbling with the keys for a minute, she pushed the door open and yelled into the house.

“Mom! Dad! Anyone?!”

Her father stuck his head through the door to the living room, glass of wine in hand, wearing his comfy couch pants. “Hello, daughter. We were wondering if you were still showing up for dinner.”

“Sorry, I forgot to cancel, I had something important to do.” She trudged down the hallway to the living room, leaving dirty footprints on the floor.

“Astrid, your shoes!” her father chided her, but she ignored it.

“Was Hiccup here?”

“Who?”

Her mother turned around on the couch. “Yes, your boyfriend was here. He was looking for you.”

Astrid scooched by her dad who almost spilled his wine. “When? What did he say?”

Wilma clucked her tongue in disapproval, shaking her head at her daughter’s wet shoes, two steps from the new carpet.

“Mom.”

Frederick put a hand on her shoulder, holding his glass out of her reach. “Why don’t you take your shoes off and join us? This crime thriller is very entertaining and there’s more wine in the fridge–”

“Mom!”

“Like I said, he was looking for you. I don’t remember when, but it was still light outside. He didn’t say what he wanted, though, and left as soon as I said you weren’t here.”

“Who?” Frederick repeated, confusion written clearly on his face. “The young man you spoke to earlier? What was that about a boyfriend?”

Astrid didn’t have time for explanations to be exchanged. “Which direction did he leave in? This is very, very important, mom!”

“What’s going on, dear? Why don’t you–”

Astrid rolled her eyes with an impatient growl, contemplating threatening to wipe her feet on the carpet if her mother didn’t just come across with the information, but figured that would only spark an entirely different discussion. “Mom, I swear – please just tell me, please!” The desperation had to be showing in her eyes because her mother gave in with a sigh.

“Down the street to Marram Lane, he was on foot so my guess is he was heading for the bus.”

That didn’t make her chase any less frustrating, but it was better than nothing. “Anything else?”

“No–”

“Okay, thanks, bye!” She dashed past her dad who took a surprised step back. Before the front door closed behind her, she could hear him complain about his spilled wine on the new carpet.

Jumping into her car, she deliberated showing Hiccup’s profile picture to every bus driver she could catch, until one of them remembered him and where he got off the bus. But chances were he’d taken the route home and was already back there while she was looking for bread crumbs all over Berk. So she decided on one last attempt. If he didn’t open his door now, she would go home and probably not sleep all night.

If it hadn’t been for the red light near the park, she would have missed it. Tapping her finger against the steering wheel, she absentmindedly glanced outside while waiting for green.

It was the jacket that caught her eye. Chipped print of faded red flames climbing up the dark sleeves, wide and short on a body too tall and lean for the cut. It was him.

The umbrella shaded him from the light of the streetlamps, but she immediately made out the wild auburn hair, the line of his jaw, the slope of his nose, eyes cast down. He was heading for the park, on a shortcut to his house that she couldn’t take with her car.

A honk from behind her alerted her to the green light and she stepped on it, crossing the intersection and pulling over onto the sidewalk as soon as she got the chance to.

She ran, only just bothering to lock her car. The rain was coming down in buckets and she splashed her entire right leg when she stepped in an overly large puddle, but that wouldn’t slow her down.

“Hey!” she yelled. “Hiccup! Wait!”

He had almost disappeared behind the next corner and a few trees when he suddenly stopped and turned around. “Astrid?”

Panting, she came to a stop. “Finally. I looked- I looked everywhere for you.”

“Oh- oh yeah. I’m so sorry.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed her the screen. There was a large crack right down the middle and her unsuccessful calls finally made sense. He hadn’t been suddenly ghosting her, after all. “Did… Um, did you get my…”

“I got your message.” Her instincts told her to just grab him and haul him in for a kiss like she’d wanted to for so long, but he’d asked her to talk and she wouldn’t make any rash moves; there was just too much on the line.

For a beat, he looked at her nervously, before he noticed the water running down her face, darkening her hair and clothes. He stepped closer, holding his umbrella over the two of them.

“Thanks.” She wiped wet strands of hair out of her face. Every now and then, a gust of wind blew cold rain underneath the umbrella like a lawn sprinkler that had lost its rhythm. She was exhausted. She’d had a very long day.

It didn’t escape her how his eyes briefly dropped down her face, awakening the memories of his lips brushing hers earlier that day, numbing the tips of her fingers for the fraction of a second, before he averted his face. “I’m sorry if I sprung all this on you, but…”

“No, I’m the one who has to apologize.” His eyes settled back on hers and the shiver running down her spine had nothing to do with the weather. “You were absolutely right, I had been running from my conflicts, and my feelings. I went home to talk to Eret.” She took a deep breath. “We decided to break up.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, I… Was… Was it true, then? About him and…”

“Dana? That wasn’t what I thought it was. You were right about that, too.”

“Well, I’ll have you know I am always right about everything,” he said with a one-shouldered shrug and the hint of a shy grin.

“Hmm, sure.” Her lips were twitching and the invisible string attached to her heart was pulling at her chest. The rain was cold and the heat his body was emanating was driving her insane. The proximity to him, the way he was looking at her, the light of the streetlamps reflecting golden specks in his deep green eyes sending a parade of tingles over her skin. “He hadn’t been cheating on me any more than I cheated on him.”

His brows furrowed; head cocked to the side ever so slightly.

“Emotionally. Not with Dana. And that’s only one of the reasons me and him didn’t work out.”

Shaking his head, his frown deepened. “So… What does that mean now? Astrid, why are you here?”

She mirrored his expression. “Because you wanted to talk–”

“No, I mean, why are you here? In the rain, soaked to the bone? You could have called later, or tomorrow, or any other time.”

“No, I couldn’t,” she replied, trying to lay all the sincerity she felt into her voice. “Like I said, I’ve been running away for way too long.” The world began to blur around her, the traffic and the rain faded, vision narrowing in on him, capturing his gaze so intently, it caused her palms to sweat and her hands to start shaking from the intensity. “I love you. Okay? I love you! I want to be with you, Hiccup! I- I love you.” Her heart was rapidly pumping liquid lightning through her veins from finally saying the words out loud.

The earth stopped spinning as she looked at him, waiting for a reaction. His lips were slightly parted, eyes posing as windows to his soul, alive and starry, burning into her like fireworks into the summer night. With bated breath, knees weakening under his gaze, she felt the electricity buzz around her, charging for the final blow. Seconds passed, small eternities, in which she couldn’t move, the current pinning her to the spot.

Then, he suddenly surged forward, grabbing her face with both hands, and lightning crashed through her as they finally connected in a blinding flash of blue and white. Her chest exploded; high voltage was coursing through her every nerve, every vein, blood alive, heart pounding in sync with his; it was like their souls were magnets, caught in each other’s magnetic field, too strong to disconnect.

Her heart was soaring, quaking, pulsating, the world empty but for them. Their heavy breaths and the deafening thunder in her soul the only sound reaching her ears. Space and time became foreign concepts, the universe narrowing down to where they stood, hands roaming over shoulders, necks, limbs and through hair, unable to linger, always seeking out more, lips chasing lips.

She had to hold onto him as the ground disappeared underneath her feet and she went falling, flying, tumbling through the clouds. Her stomach was doing somersaults, backflips, pirouettes; the lightning strike had left her blind. She couldn’t get enough of his touch, lungs screaming for air, but she couldn’t care less about breathing, reconnecting with his lips after every hasty intake of air, drowning in the feeling of wonder, of pure euphoria.

The only thing she knew to be real was the warmth of his body, the passion that let their lips collide over and over again until she felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the intense electric current running through their bodies like one.

Eyes still closed, they eventually parted for much required air, their foreheads touching, breaths mingling. Her hands were slowly sliding from his neck, resting over his erratic heartbeat, mirroring hers. His fingers trailed down her spine, settling around her waist.

“Did you feel that?” Her voice was shaking.

“The lightning?”

Her eyes fluttered open and her chest swelled with affection at the raw emotion in his eyes and the fact that he felt as much for her as she did for him. She nodded with a gulp.

“I did.” He lifted a hand to her face, gently wiping something hot and salty from her cheek that she hadn’t even noticed herself. “Is this real?”

“I certainly hope so.”

“Hey, if not, at least we’re stuck in the same dream, right?”

“Right.” Getting lost in his gaze again, she blinked when he suddenly cleared his throat and looked around, as if remembering that there was a whole universe out of their wonderful, perfect little bubble.

“We should probably go someplace dry.” The umbrella was discarded somewhere on the ground, dirty and forgotten. “I keep getting drenched today, how is that?!”

The laughter breaking out of her and the look he gave her in return were nothing short of breathtaking, and she wondered if she was ever going to get used to that, already addicted to everything about him, everything he was doing to her. “My car is back there.” She pointed in a general direction over her shoulder.

“Okay.” He leaned down and softly pecked her lips again, followed by another toe-curling, heart-stopping, world-shaking kiss, slow and deep, her fingers clutching at his soaked shirt. Their noses brushed, wet and cold. “Okay,” he repeated himself in a whisper and stepped away enough to entwine their hands, starting towards where she had pointed.

The skin of their interlaced fingers was frigid, but Astrid did not feel the cold. She just felt… free.

His thumb brushed over her knuckles as she steered him back to her car and the contact crackled through her nerves like an inextinguishable fire. Just this morning, she’d been shaken by her own confession to herself, still anxious over the fight she’d had with Hiccup the day before. Entire lifetimes had passed since then.

Glancing at him, she caught his eyes and the blinding smile on his lips. Oh, those lips. She had discovered a new drug and she was already high on it. With a weak fist, she punched his shoulder. “That’s for breaking your phone.” He blushed, rubbing his neck with his free hand. With her own, she fished her car keys from her uncomfortably wet jeans, pushing the button and glancing over him once more. “And what the hell are you wearing?!”

_______________

- End of Part 2 -

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#httyd #hiccstrid #fanfiction #hiccup haddock #astrid hofferson #heather #fishlegs ingerman #snotlout jorgenson #when lightning strikes #modern au #a bit of angst with a dash of drama #or the other way around #maja writes #ff #fanfic #how to train your dragon

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