#for the roaches I can just call an exterminator???

[bredforloyalty]

cosmo wanda i wish every cockroach in the world died and went to hell (but if you can't do that please please make it so i never have to meet or live with any again thank u <3)

[callofdutyhater2]

Adding Roach into Toontown: Corporate Clash

More specifically, as a Kudos Manager in Daffodil Gardens 🫢 this post has been a collab with my bae @callofdutyhater I LOVE YOU SO MUCH <333

Yes I know there's the Multislacker (ily Cathal I feel you on a spiritual level), but I thought it would be perfect to assign Daffodil to Roach cause we don't have a Kudos Manager who's, like, actually found in the playground rather than the Cog HQ. Also vibes.

Roach's Cog Overview:

Department: Sellbot

Position: Associate Regional Manager

HP: 3200

Defense: 85

Level: 24.mgr

Lowest Damage: 6

Highest Damage: 12

Roach's Profile Overview:

Suit Name: Cockroach (though others usually just call him Roach)

Real Name: Gary Sanderson

Honorific(s): Mr./Mx.

Employee ID: 32009

Likes: Flowers, Hiking, Helping Friends, Military Documentaries

Dislikes: Prejudice, Skulls & Skull Masks, Being Stepped On

Info on cogs.ink (this is a fanmade set of credentials, it will not work on the actual website!):

Username: sandersongary

Password: 5ev_unsqu1sh3ble

Hired: 10 months ago

Disciplinary writeups: None

Reports made: 4 months ago attempted to report Simon Riley for harassment, but the case was dismissed.

Roach's Appearance/Design:

His head model is just about the same as his in Call of Duty Mobile:

On top of his helmet he has two antennae, resembling those of a cockroach.

He uses the buff Cog model (the same as the Tier 8 Cogs use) and, excluding his antennae, he's around the same height as the Prethinker.

Where To Find Roach:

Roach can be fought in Hop Off The Grass! Exterminators, a (fanmade) Cog-owned shop on Sunflower Street in Daffodil Gardens. Other than the Cogs' font used on the building's name, its exterior looks like a typical Toon-owned shop. Toons can freely enter the shop's first floor, the lobby, but can only enter the elevator once they have completed the required Kudos Tasks (TBA).

The shop's name is a pun on grasshoppers, which are considered one of the most common garden pests.

Roach's Dialogue (so far):

(I'm working on his battle cutscenes, which I'll share in a separate post once they're ready!)

Friend request denials:

The Cockroach taps his fingers together, "You sure I wouldn't just bug you?"

"I'd say yes, if I were any more certain you won't try to step on me," the Cockroach manages a laugh.

"Wow, am I really that approachable?" the Cockroach replies with a nervous laugh. "Get it?"

The Cockroach goes quiet, then mutters, "I don't think he'd like that very much."

Attempt to sue: "Oh, that's nothing. He's threatened me with that more times than I can count..."

Attempt to fire: "... I do want to leave, but it has to be on my terms, alright?"

Bonus! Valentoon's Day card: "I hope I don't bug you - I just love you, Valentine!"

Roach's Relationships With Other Managers:

!! Warning: mentions of abuse below !!

Roach is very friendly, especially for a Suit, so he gets along with almost everyone. Those who put him off or who he's been in conflict with, he just avoids speaking to, he's not one to start or contribute to drama.

Roach is close friends with two fellow Sellbot managers, the Multislacker/Cathal Bravecog and the Pacesetter/Graham Ness Payser. Cathal and Graham get on each other's nerves, which Roach gently intervenes on, but the trio all genuinely care for each other. Cathal and Graham were the first two Suits in the company Roach came out to; and Roach helped Graham and his now-boyfriend, the Firestarter/Flint Bonpyre, get together. They keep each other's secrets from the eyes of the wrong higher-ups.

Roach actually has nothing against the Toons, a viewpoint he's obviously not safe to share with most others in COGS, Inc. - other than Cathal, who is aware that the war between the Toons and Cogs as it's being fought presently is ultimately pointless. Cathal and the Duck Shuffler/Buck Ruffler are the first two Suits Roach pitches his albeit vague idea of potential peace between Toons and Cogs to, and both receive it well even though they're not sure how they can help at the moment.

Roach is in an abusive relationship with "Ghost", another Sellbot who's higher up than him. He will hint at this in the ending cutscene of his fight. Roach is pretty uncomfortable around the Bellringer/Benjamin Biggs and is convinced he's in some insider network with Ghost, or vice versa, but he hasn't tried to confront Benjamin about it. He has tried to call out Ghost a number of times, only to be silenced by one of the older's many tactics.

The Prethinker/Brian enjoys Roach's company as he's a good listener and sometimes can help him through bouts of overthinking. So Roach will take trips to Toontown Central to visit him here and there - plus, it's one of his favorite playgrounds to visit already!

Roach is on cordial terms with the Senior VP/Allan Bravecog. They don't have much of a relationship, but Allan is grateful to Roach since thanks to him, Cathal has at least one genuine friend within the company.

Trivia About Roach:

He's gay and demisexual.

He likes fishing, and will sometimes try to join the Toons when he sees them fishing on the Sunflower Street pond - that is, if he doesn't scare them away.

(I may edit the post to add more later I couldn't think of other facts lol)

[writernopal]

OC vs. Cockroach

Alright I had to jump on this one stat LOL thanks for the tag @mysticstarlightduck see their post here!

Rules: Rate your OCs on how well they’d fare against a cockroach

I'm going to do the casts of AASOAF and M.O.W for this one!

AASOAF

Mariel: 7/10 Mariel grew up on a farm so she's pretty used to seeing creepy crawlies around. That said she can't keep her cool around them like she can with rodents and other types of pests so she is definitely the sort to be startled by one, and call for help if there is someone nearby. Otherwise, our little lady is bucking up and dealing with it on her own.

Axtapor: 10/10 A big part of Lizardfolk diet is eating bugs including roaches. While they aren't his favorite, he's known to indulge from time to time because the wings have a nice crunch to them *chefs kiss*. So he just manhandles them whenever they're around and down the hatch they go!

Fay: 0/10 Fay grew up impoverished in the slums of a place called Saltend and on more than one occasion discovered roaches in her bed, clothes, food, hair, blankets you name it. Safe to say she was traumatized after being surrounded by them for so many years. She is definitely calling in for backup if she sees one.

Wilkes: 10/10 Even though he's a Lizardfolk, he doesn't eat roaches. Rather, he despises them because Fay hates them so he's become quite the exterminator on her behalf. He can hit one from across the room with a throwing knife and has done so on many occasions. I should add, that he also doesn't let his adoptive parents eat them either. The Sikthax-Seymour household is a roach-free zone 😤

M.O.W

Hartim and Lexlar: 20/10 So these two are from The Oasis Heartlands which is mostly jungle ergo, LOTS of bugs to eat. They hunt bugs for fun and roaches are no different but they are a little bit more sadistic with roaches than other creepy crawlies. Lexlar will catch a bunch, enough to fill a jar, and then set them loose in an enclosed area, like a room for example, and let Hartim just go nuts trying to catch and eat them lol. Then the same thing vice-versa, Hartim will catch a bunch and release them for Lexlar. They claim it's a speed trial but they're really just playing with their food lol.

Tagging (gently): @outpost51 @sparatus @teamdilf @commander-krios @void-botanist @silverslipstream @captain-kraken @moonluringfrost

[woundthatswallows]

it didnt say an ax murderer or anything just a person, why would you assume a person in your attic is someone you should be afraid of and not just a squatter..........youd really rather deal w A THOUSAND roaches? like if so thats just fucking weird honestly

"why would you assume a person in your attic is someone you should be afraid of" if i find a person in my house i don't really care if they are an ax murderer or not they aren't supposed to be there lol and i'm gonna assume the worst because i don't want to die🖤 and it is so easy duh i would rather deal with some bugs. i can shut the attic door, walk away and call an exterminator but a PERSON? i can handle some stupid bugs lol people are what is terrifying. personally i think you all are "fucking weird" for picking a person over some bugs like at least cockroaches won't try to attack you and if they start flying you can just shut the door. you can over power bugs you can't always over power another person. also does it even matter it's a tumblr poll.

[digitalsatyr23]

How well would your OCs do against a cockroach tag game

Rules: rate your OCs by how well they'd do against a cockroach.

@space-writes this seems like a fun game, sorry it took me a bit to get to. I've dealt with cockroaches before (such as in my childhood home in Oceanside, California) so this one was pretty easy for me to imagine with some of my characters.

I'll tag @aether-wasteland-s and @gummybugg (no pressure tho)

Rina Woodshed: - Would probably find the bug interesting - Catches it in a jar and gives it a name - Her mother would get mad at her and make her release it - 8/10, Would probably cause some damage chasing it

Lafayette: - Foxes eat insects, so I could see him eating one as a snack - 9/10, Point deducted because even if it's true it's still gross XD

Sonja Kruger: - Has a strong aversion to bugs/filth due to her past - Would have an immediate anger response and try to kill it - 6/10, Definitely would cause some collateral damage due to flinging around her ice magic willy nilly.

Vernar: - Would just zap it without hesitation - Might make it come in contact with any others nearby to also gain control of them (proxy zapping) - 10/10, Would either make them march harmlessly away so Sonja doesn't freak out or use them as reagents in a potion.

Ven of House Samoa: - Immediate freak out - Not used to seeing bugs at all because his house is so clean - 0/10, Would flee and require one of his servants to take care of it

Sachin Mishra: - Has dealt with this problem before because he lives in California. - Immediate lock-down and sanitation of his place, sealing food in special containers, finding and getting rid of stagnant water sources, and spraying the crap out of his apartment (face mask + dual-wielding cans) - Consequently, this would lead to his apartment becoming the cleanest it's ever been in a while once everything is taken care of - 10/10, A true roach hunter.

Nikki Lang: - Would have a heart attack at the sight - Said freak out would probably happen during her streaming and get clipped, ending up on youtube - Has no idea how to deal with them but would probably grab like a belt or a boot - 3/10, Has to get over initial fear reaction to do anything but is ready by the second encounter.

Sofia Mary Lang: - Treats the issue very seriously - Doesn't want an infestation to affect her business or her daughter's well-being - Would shut down the bakery and salvage what goods she can - 8/10, Wouldn't deal with it personally, would just call in an exterminator

There were so many characters of mine I could consider for this, so I decided to pick from a handful of my different "groups" so there was a varied spread of reactions. XD

[planeoftheeclectic]

How well would your OCs do against a cockroach tag game

tagged by @angry-kid-with-no-money

Rules: rate your OCs by how well they'd do against a cockroach. Bonus: write an entire scene out of it if you want!

Oh man it's been ages and ages since I thought about these guys, but I do want to get back to them at some point, so this was a fun exercise!

Kernn: Doesn't care about the cockroach so much as where it is. If it's in an inn, he'll look at it askance, probably see if he can haggle the innkeeper down as a result, but he doesn't mind it too much. (Bedbugs are another story.) BUT if he finds one in amongst the supplies he's exceptionally paranoid and won't relax until it's been like a month since he's seen any. Honestly, there's probably some low-level paranoia about the supplies at all times - comes from being a merchant's son. So he's not afraid of the cockroach so much as what it represents!

Alira: Couldn't care less one way or the other. She gets why Kernn's upset about them, and she'll squash them if she needs to, but there's no hard feelings involved. Everyone's just trying to live and eat, and if they didn't secure their supplies enough, that's on them. This drives Kernn nuts, but when there's roaches near the supplies he's nuts anyway, so she's not likely to change much because of him. Frankly, she finds it a little endearing, at least in moderation.

Amethyst: Literally beneath her notice, but they made good hunting practice as a hatchling, so her partner makes sure to seek out dens with good roach populations.

And finally, the only OC that's actually been published anywhere:

Portia La Keefe: She hates them, but in her own apartment she's resigned and pragmatic in her disgust. It's just One More Thing. She'll have to put out some bait since she can't justify calling an exterminator. If she ever saw one in Kristoph's home though, it'd be an entirely different story. She'd freak out to high heaven, hire an exterminator without telling him to come when he's at work, and live in a constant nervous sweat until they came. Kristoph probably wouldn't fire her, but she can't afford to take that chance.

This was fun! Thanks! No pressure tagging @stonemaskedtaliesin because I love hearing about your little guys!

[tolerateit]

Meg, bestie wish me luck, I'm metaphorically doing a marathon this weekend and am about to rant about it (I'm moving last minute, too many shitty things happened these last two weeks and I can not handle staying in this place any longer. Was gonna move next month, and take it slow, but plans change. Was it just life? Was it mercury retrograde? Who knows. What I do know is I've had enough. Fortunately, I'll get to save up a bit more money living with family, even if the client pays late again.)

I have to finish working by the end of the day, I'm hoping by midnight, and then pack up half the apartment in the middle of the night, wake up tomorrow to clean up the place as best I can, with some help of course, and then my parents are coming to help us move half the stuff. We're moving the other half next weekend. And then we have a bunch of things scheduled for Sunday, which means I shall be running on low food and sleep this weekend. I'd complain but my husband will have it worse because he's on a special diet for his health issues. At least I will no longer worry about roaches anymore (building got infested last month, and everyone in it can't agree on calling exterminators for whatever godforsaken reason so they've just been multiplying and arrived at our door last week. We spent last night, till 6am killing new ones that just hatched inside the casing of our bathroom door after one got inside it last week. I'm absolutely terrified of bugs so it's been me spotting them and screaming, and then my husband running in to kill them. The strongest drugstore chemicals we found are barely helpful to keep them away - we did the floors everywhere, so they started showing up on the walls. Aside from the bugs, the stove shorted and took two days to fix which meant "experiment with whatever you can find to eat" which is terrible for health issues reasons, the vacuum shorted a couple of days ago too, it started smoking and shut down (I think there's an electricity issue in the whole city but I don't have time to go into that now), and as if all that wasn't enough, I got sick and could barely function for a couple of days (am fine now), and just as I thought the roaches hatching in the door was the last straw, both elevators in our building broke down after two neighborhood-wide electricity outages earlier today, so we gotta take the stairs to the 6th floor (I feel bad for whoever's living on the 10th, I know there's people with babies up there) and I'm desperately hoping the elevators get fixed before we move tomorrow so we can have an easier time bringing everything outside and in the cars). Okay thank you for listening, I'm blaming mercury retrograde for all this, because last time it happened I was joking with my best friend that nothing bad ever happens, it's just nonsense, and this time around mercury decided to personally fuck everything up for me to teach me a lesson. I'd love to throw hands but it's a planet and I'm just human, so we just trudge on.

Love you! <3

Honestly fuck mercury retrograde it's really giving us such a hard time rn dffjjgddlkjh but oh god you got this bestie!! That's a super hectic weekend oof, I hope you're feeling a little better now 🥺 please take care of yourself bestie, ily <33

[apex-pest-control]

Cockroach Eradication

How can I get rid of cockroaches effectively?

Cockroaches are a typical example of an annoying pest. Their awful smell and the possibility of property damage are two big downsides. They congregate in places that are dark and wet. This category also includes bathroom and kitchen drawers.

In order to prevent infestation, it is crucial to thoroughly clean these locations. Help getting rid of pests can be arranged by calling a professional provider. It's also important to keep your home clean and organised on a consistent basis.

If you want to know how to get rid of cockroaches, keep reading.

When and how should cockroaches be treated?

Salmonella, dysentery, and gastroenteritis are just a few of the diseases that can be transmitted to humans by cockroaches. Cockroach dung has been linked to the spread of diseases such as eczema and asthma.

There are a variety of sprays and repellents available for use against cockroaches. Neem is yet another all-natural remedy that works wonders against cockroaches. This herb has been used for centuries for its therapeutic purposes, and it can be used to reduce cockroach infestations by creating a spray.

One of the most common cockroaches is the American cockroach, which may be found both inside and outside. Because it can grow to be two inches long, a standard sticky trap is ineffective against this bug.

Avoid failure by using a larger than necessary sticky trap if you're trying to catch an American cockroach. Perimeter spraying with an insecticide designed to kill cockroaches is another method.

To eliminate these pests, choose an exterminator who has passed the exams required by the BPCA or NPTA. Whether you need help with cockroaches in your house or company, Apex Pest Control can get the job done.

What is the Average Cost to Get Rid of Cockroaches?

Effective and reasonably priced (cost is determined by the number of bedrooms in your home), we treat for roaches and offer advice on how to prevent their recurrence. Here are the money you will spend to get rid of cockroaches.

The consultation fee is £125, and additional treatment costs the same amount.

An additional £100 will be charged for a return visit (this fee applies only to homes).

Widespread Infestations

The cost of fixing a cockroach infestation rises in proportion to its severity. Once this is done, we will be able to give you an accurate quote for how long and how much it will cost to treat the cockroaches. We provide pest control services to homes throughout Yorkshire.

Apex Exterminators: Why You Need Them to Get Rid of Roaches

Professional pest technicians

Over 30 years of experience

Local pest experts

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Our Techniques for Getting Rid of Cockroaches

Once cockroaches have made a home in a building and begun reproducing, they can be difficult to eradicate. There could be a need for a series of therapies and constant monitoring.

A thorough survey should be performed to determine which species of cockroaches will be treated, as they all have slightly distinct biology and behaviours.

We can choose from a number of different management strategies. Some potential cases in point are:

Sprays of pesticide will be applied every other week on gel baits placed in cockroach hotspots. We will also spray the fans and treat the cracks and crevices with pesticide. Insect growth regulators could potentially be present in these. The ultra-low-volume (ULV) application of this insecticide, with droplet sizes as small as 15 micrometres, works well in tandem with the fan and crack and crevice treatment.

It is suggested that sticky traps be monitored after each treatment as a form of early detection. Taking precautions like cockroach proofing the building and keeping an eye on deliveries is essential once a cockroach infestation has been eliminated.

How to Spot a Cockroach Infestation

Cockroaches often leave behind small, tubular droppings and strange dark stains on surfaces that have been saturated with water. Cockroaches shed their skin as they progress through the several nymphal stages before becoming adults.

The German, oriental, American, and brown banded cockroaches are the most frequent types found in the United Kingdom.

Check out the frequently asked questions and answers that follow for more details on eliminating these roach-like pests from your home. You can also read our post on the topic if you'd like.

[moodywyrm]

ugh maybe i’ll just have an exterminator come and kill every spider, roach, etc. in a 20 mile radius, then i can live peacefully as a big strong girl’s housewife <3

heating pad!! then you can be all warm and cozy while you read <3

it did!! i’m looking at cars right now bc i desperately need one </3

- 🩷

on call exterminator!! very good idea 💕

I want a heating pad so bad :( I wanna be warm and cozy :(

cars!!! I hope you find a good one 💕💕

Sorry I disappeared for a lil bit :( I did end up reading a lil more of priory💕

[stardust-static]

I hate the California heat. Not even just because it's miserably uncomfortable, but mostly because of the bugs. I got out of my car yesterday and stepped into a colony of fire ants. Little tiny bastard creatures... My feet were burning and itching all night. Then today I'm just sitting outside with my chickens and I am being assaulted by gnats. They're trying to go in my eyes and in my mouth, and last night when I was asleep something also bit the hell out of my legs. Annnnnnd the pincher bugs are back.

To add to all of that I walked into our shed the other day and immediately heard crawling.. I look up and the ceiling of the shed is crawling in roaches. They're all in the insulation.. Like something out of a horror movie. I've always associated roaches with dirty people. My home is not dirty. So I blame one of my fucking neighbors. I called my dad because Bailey was at work and he said roaches will find a dark secluded place and use it to multiply. So yeah when Bailey had a day off the next day I was like "are you aware of the situation in the shed?" And he wasn't so I walked him out there prepared to show him the horror movie scenario that I walked into and there was nothing. They could have been up deeper in the insulation of the shed, but it was concerning as to where they went.. 😩 We bug bombed the shed anyway. I haven't been back in there to see what the situation is now.

But after my dad said they like dark secluded places all I can think about is our attic. I want to bug bomb that next just in case. I'm so freaked out by roaches. Like that's an absolutely not for me. If I see one little roach up in my house I'm calling an exterminator. I can't be playing around with that situation. Ugh... The joys of living in the middle of nowhere. We weren't dealing with this shit in the winter! 😫

I'm gonna get my bug spray out today and spray the hell out of the house.

[atozphantomsquadron]

Chapter Eighteen: Duel

August 28th

            The clock behind Jennifer crosses past midnight. She’s still sitting there, just grinning at me. She taps her fingers on the arm of the chair, trying to bore holes through me with her eyes.

            Those eyes … they show her mania. They’re bloodshot, lined with so many bright red veins I could create a topographical map. The irises are nearly non-existent, and what I can see of them is bright green. Her breathing is starting to speed up considerably.

            Her teeth grind. That’s the most unnerving thing about this situation.

            “Well?” she demands. “Aren’t you going to say anything to your President?”

            My eyes darken. “I don’t recognize the authority of anyone whose policy is death to my kind. I’m here to offer a compromise.”

            Jennifer leans back in her chair. “I’m listening.”

            My own breathing is coming quicker. “I’m sure that neither one of us wants to see any further bloodshed on our respective sides, so I’ll make an offer to end this struggle. You leave the Ranch and its inhabitants alone. Disassemble this insane force you’ve created, and let them go home to their families and their lives.”

            She strokes her chin. “What’s in it for me?”

            “Me, plain and simple. I’ll give myself up to you, and face whatever you believe is justice for any and all crimes you’ve linked to me. You can do with me what you wish.”

            She lowers her eyelids and crosses her arms. “And if I refuse?”

            I grit my teeth. “Then the Ranch will continue to fight, and eventually destroy your forces. Their blood will be on your hands.”

            She takes in a sharp breath through her teeth. It sounds like a snake hissing in warning. “See, that’s the problem here, Alanna … may I call you Alanna? Anyway, the problem is I already have you, and as far as blood goes, the more the better!” She grins and stands up. “I don’t care how much blood I have to draw to end your kind.”

            Oh well, it was a long shot anyway. “What kind of President are you, anyway? Your administration has done absolutely nothing but persecute supernaturals as long as you’ve been in power.”

            “Ah ah, as long as Carleton has been in power, we’ve tried to make life better for the human population. This is merely the culmination of that policy.”

            I strain against my restraints, but they feel like they’re tightening with every motion. “You’re insane. I saw your office.”

            “Did you, now?” She starts laughing. “I had a feeling you would. After all, why do you think I’m here?”

            My heart starts to sink. “So it was a trap.”

            “Exactly.” She comes face-to-face with me and jabs her finger into my chest. “And you fell right into it! I can’t believe you let yourself get suckered so easily!” She laughs in my face.

            Her breath smells familiar … like Scolar’s, but …

            “Yes, I made sure you had that dossier. I made sure you found poor, dearly departed Carleton’s body, that the White House guards saw you.” She grins wider and more maniacally. “Who do you think kept the streets of Washington clear that day, huh?”

            This is getting out of hand too quickly. I’ve completely been caught in the spider web, and the black widow is about to consume me. What a foolish way to die.

            “There’s just one question I have before I exterminate you and your kind like the roaches you are,” she intones, moving ever closer to me until she’s in my face again. “Where in the world did you hide General Scolar?”

            This might be to my advantage … she doesn’t know he’s dead …

            Wait, her breath, that smell …

            She reeks of the Inferno!             “He’s in the Ranch, in a secure location. He’ll be moved if anyone threatens. If you make any move on my forces, he’ll be dead before you can even reach him.”

            She snorts. “You’re bluffing.”

            “Am I? I’ve killed before. You made sure of that.”

            She laughs again, a sound I’m quickly getting sick of. “Oh, you mean that whole Chicago thing? Collateral damage, I needed you to be the villain I was creating. There’s nothing the public loves more than a good villain to rail against.”

            I growl. “Damn you, it’s my life you’ve been manipulating! What gives you that right?” I struggle harder against the restraints.

            “Don’t even think about it, Alanna.” Her eyes narrow intensely and her mood switches from jovial to threatening in an instant. “After all, the support staff here doesn’t take kindly to Guardsmen.”

            She motions toward three of the blueshirts manning the monitors around us. One of them turns around toward me, and his eyes are glowing a hellish red.

            Demons. Her bodyguards are demons.

            “Every one of these gentlemen was handpicked … by me, of course … to come to this place, to confront the Guardsman, to torment her, and to destroy her. You’ve saved us some time, of course, by carelessly making your way here, trying to confront me. What did you hope to accomplish?”

            I need a new approach, fast. I take a deep breath before playing my next card. “I’ve spoken to Alastair. He regrets what you’ve become.”

            She stops short in her diatribe, looking toward me with a confused expression. “My dear brother? How have you spoken to him, he’s been dead as long as you’ve been alive.”

            I smirk. “I have my ways, Jennifer … may I call you Jennifer?” I sense I have her caught off-guard, and press my point. “He’s in Hell right now, burning for eternity, cycling through every ring for each sin he committed here. He wants to spare you the same fate. If you destroy us, there’s no way you’ll avoid it.”

            She shoots me a blank look, then turns the tables and surprises me by acting very un-Presidential, spitting on the floor. “Why should I give a damn about what some piddling damned soul thinks? He really should know his place.”

            Well, that confirms my suspicions. “He’s concerned about the soul of his sister … Mamuna.”

            She growls, gritting her teeth. “So you know.”

            I grind my own teeth and grimace back a grin. “Yeah, princess. So what, you’re trying to prove something by destroying all supernaturals?”

            She roars back over to me and grabs my chin. “Greater than that, Sharpe! I can do greater things than Lucifer could have dreamed! I can deliver the entire living world to Hell, I can eliminate Eden!” She comes nose-to-nose with me. “I can destroy the Guardsman forever!” She throws me back down to the floor, pacing maniacally. “You haven’t a single clue, Sharpe. You don’t know what it’s like in Hell, what it’s like to be a woman there, to be taught for your entire damned eternal existence that you’re inferior just because you’re missing male equipment.”

            I snuffle harshly. “I might have some idea. So that’s it, then? Trying to prove a point, some great women’s liberation thing? Because let me tell you, us actual women don’t really need help from the likes of you.”

            Mamuna reaches down and grabs me by the scruff of the neck. “Such a short-sighted little girl.” Her eyes narrow. “This isn’t about men versus women, Sharpe. This is about becoming even greater than Lucifer, about even outdoing the Lord of Lies himself!”

            I wriggle out of her grip. “What about your father? Where does Mammon fit into this?”

            She scoffs at my question. “What does it matter to you?”

            “Call it morbid curiosity.”

            She laughs. “Very well. He’s in this room.” She pats the Damnation Blade.

            Every time she reaches for that weapon, my heart drops. I can feel the heavy demonic presence now, fitting of a prince and princess of Hell. “In the Blade?”

            She grins again. “After all, the full potential of this weapon cannot be reached unless a demon bonds with it. I bet you didn’t know that, did you?”

            I growl loudly. “That still doesn’t explain one thing, though. Why did Carleton have to die?”

            Mamuna lowers down in her chair. “Somebody had to carry this thing. You poor, deluded fool.” She pats my cheek. “Carleton Regent never existed before twenty years ago … he’s been a simulacrum, carrying the Blade for me until such time that it was time to strike.” She laughs harshly. “The Blade’s been hiding in plain sight the whole time, and you never knew until now.”

            Things are getting too dangerous. “So what do you mean by eliminate Eden?” I try to guide the conversation back toward getting a reveal of her plan.

            “Exactly what it sounds like, hatchling.” The use of that word makes my skin crawl … I spent too long being called it by Scolar. “Haven’t you learned, yet? Everything is connected. What you know as Avalon once went by a different name …”

            Things are starting to make some sense … I can take a guess what she means. “The Garden of Eden?”

            “Yes, precisely. You’re such a good student!” She sounds too enthusiastic. “Haven’t you wondered why no one has ever found it, even with all the searching? It’s because as punishment for the original sin, God ensured the location of the Garden and its secrets would never be learned by separating it into its own plane of existence!”

            I need to get out of these restraints, but they’re too tight. “So you want to destroy Eden? Isn’t that enough, do you have to take the supernaturals out at the same time?”

            “I thought you knew, they’re one and the same, little girl,” Mamuna growls at me. “All supernaturals hold within them a sliver of Eden, a genetic reminder that the Garden once existed on Earth. Without that reminder, Earth is lost to Heaven … and thus becomes mine!” She storms over to the bank of monitors. “We’ve wasted enough time on this fruitless discussion. Commence Operation Glass Jaw. We end this now!”

            The demon technicians tap away at their panels, leaving me at the center of the room, forced to watch helplessly. The banks of monitors other than the one looking at the Ranch start filling up with SSA troops, storming into streets, paths, fields, city squares.

            Nothing happens.

            Mamuna looks confused. She turns back to the techs. “Where the hell are the dragons?”

            One of the demons looks up at Mamuna.

“The dragons never deployed. We can’t get any signal out to the laboratory.”

            Mamuna harrumphs. “A minor setback. Send out the signal to our alternates.”

            The demon nods and turns back to his panel. On the screens, the SSA agents continue to look around, a little confused. Now the signals are being interspersed with international news feeds showing the bewildered blueshirts standing around, waiting.

            Mamuna screams. “What now?!”

            Another of the demons, looking fearful, turns toward the princess.

“No signal was received by the alternates. It looks like they’ve already been met by someone else.”

            It’s my turn to laugh and I do, quietly at first, then louder so that Mamuna can hear me. She turns around in a rage. “What’s so damned funny, you little twerp?! What did you do?”

            Now I have reason to really smile. “Glass Jaw is a failure, Mamuna. We already destroyed your dragons in DC, and our allies around the world took care of your ‘alternates.’” I’m laughing hysterically now. “You shouldn’t have listed them in that dossier.” 

            Mamuna’s not pleased. She screams with a demon’s roar.

“DAMN YOU!”

She yanks a gun out of the holster of one of the demons, pointing it toward me, her bloodshot eyes wild. “You’ve humiliated the New Empire! This plan was perfect, and you just screwed me!”

            “Lady, you screwed yourse—“

            My words are cut off by the barrel of the pistol being shoved into my mouth. She pulls back the hammer. Her voice becomes a whisper. “I can at least destroy the Guardsman myself, before her brethren fall. Say good night, bitch.”

            What’s it going to be like to die? I guess I’ll find out …

            “Hold, Madam President.” A sickeningly familiar voice cuts through the chaos. My heart pumps faster, and I feel bile forming in the pit of my stomach. There he comes, striding in the door, in his full regalia, like nothing had ever happened.

            Scolar. How is this possible?!

            “General, how good of you to come.” Mamuna takes the gun out of my mouth and backs away from me. “This is Alanna Sharpe, the terrorist mastermind. Destroy her at once!”

            Scolar nods. “As you wish.” He turns his face down to me, narrowing his eyes. “It’s a shame, really. Such a long rivalry, to end like this.”

            He reaches for the Sabre, the one I swear I destroyed two years ago. It’s back to its old form, not the changed version Gabe made. He draws the weapon, and the Invader’s armor closes around him. The Sabre is raised high above the hell knight’s head, in an executioner’s pose.

            All of my nightmares are coming true at once.

            My breathing quickens. I’m dead. I’m really dead this time. Farewell, everyone …

            Wait, that’s weird. Did he just wink at me?

            The weapon cuts through the air, not toward my neck but toward the demons running the control panels. Two of them dissolve into dust in one stroke.

            Now I’m confused.

            That confusion doesn’t last for long, once the Invader tears off a piece of his armor, near his wrist … a HoSIP. The camouflage falls instantly, revealing that the Invader is a fake, and the real knight is the Penitent.

            Dad …

            The Penitent rushes over to Mamuna’s chair at the center of the room and kicks the Sword toward me. I turn around to catch it in my bound hands, then slide it out of the scabbard. The Guardswoman easily breaks the bonds and brings the Sword around to en garde, standing back to back with the Penitent.

            Mamuna screams. “Attack, you fools!”

            Another company of demons, four of them in total, rushes toward us. Combining our effort, me and Dad are able to make short work of them. We turn our attention back toward Mamuna, who grabs the Damnation Blade and runs out of the room. A heavy steel door closes behind her, preventing us from making chase.

            Dad sheathes the Sabre. He’s clearly not happy. “What the hell, Alanna? What were you trying to do?”

            I sheathe the Sword, turning to face him. “I needed to find out what’s going on! I got some good information, we just need to use it now to our advantage.”

            Dad groans. “Don’t do this again, Alanna. You hear me?” He sounds irritated, but I can also hear his fear and concern. He came out of love, not out of anger.

            I nod quietly. “I won’t. I promise.”

            He rushes up to me and hugs me tightly. “We were so worried about you.”

            I pick up my arms and return the embrace, holding Daddy tight to me. “So was I for a while.” We release the hug. “What now?”

            “Well, thanks to this escapade, we’re going to have to fight our way back to the Ranch. We already fought our way here, so …”

            “Who else is with you?”

          “The whole family!”

A familiar beastly voice screams. William, grown into the wendigo, bursts into the room. He begins shrinking back into himself as he continues to talk, reaching for a pouch on his belt where he keeps his supply of moose jerky. “Ariel has the guards on the run, but we need to go now!”

            “Right. All of us.” Dad motions to me. “Come on, Alanna, let’s go.”

            I unfurl my wings. “I have a faster way.” My face turns up toward the ceiling, spewing a firecast through the metal and creating a hole to the morning sky. I grab Dad and William, growing into my dragon form, and flap my way up through the hole just like I learned to launch from flying with Mom.

            Jump and hard flap …

            Once airborne, I glide over to where another familiar dragon blasts the ground with fire, holding the soldiers back. Mom looks over toward me, then starts flapping faster once she knows I’m right behind her. While flying over the troops, we continue to strafe them, keeping everyone on the run. Blueshirts scatter left and right, trying to get away from the fire we’re spreading.

            We accelerate once the Ranch is within spitting distance, punching our way through the magic shield to alight and land in the fields behind the Ranch house. The landing’s a little rough, and I wind up rolling in the grass, but I scramble back to my feet and drop Dad and William before shrinking back into my human form.

            Gabe is at the back door, waiting for us. “What’s going on?” he demands.

            I’m out of breath, but I rush up to him. “It’s Mamuna … she’s got the Blade … coming for Avalon … file was a trap …”

            “I had a feeling about that.” Gabe leads us all inside. “We need to prepare to defend the Avalon door. She’s not going to hesitate after the first part of Glass Jaw failed.”

            I look up at Gabe at this information. “How did you …?”

            “It’s all over the news.” He leads me into the TV room, where Michi is sitting, grinning and bouncing.

            She runs up to me and hugs me tightly. “Fahaian came through! I knew he would!” She pulls me down to a seat while a news broadcast displays on the TV.

            “… the United Nations is calling for a special meeting to discuss sanctions against the New Empire of America for unauthorized intervention into other member nations. In the meantime, no sources were available at either the SSA or the White House to confirm or deny the reports. Once again, a number of international news agencies are reporting that large numbers of Supernatural Suppression Agency troops have been sighted in capitals around the world, with apparently no purpose other than as a show of strength by the New Empire. The soldiers appeared to be looking for some kind of fight, as they were armed and ready for action, but no supernatural opponent was present.”

            A cheer rises from the main area, as the news circulates. We’ve disrupted the first part of Glass Jaw. Now we need to stop the other two phases.

            The cheers are interrupted by the ground shaking. Not a natural earthquake either, this one feels decidedly demonic. All of us inside the house rush outside to see what the commotion is. What greets us is a stunning turn of events.

            There’s a tank outside. It’s just fired a shell approaching the shield … now it’s moving through the shield …

            It lands in the middle of the Ranch house and explodes.

[trapmasterpestcontrol]

Is It Safe To Be In The House After Pest Control?

If you have pests in your home, it can be very tempting to try and does your own pest control in Detroit order to save money. However, before you go ahead and start spraying pesticides everywhere, you need to ask yourself - is it actually safe to be in the house after pest control?

How can I keep my home pest free?

After your pest control treatment, there are a few things you can do to keep your home pest-free. First, make sure to keep food in sealed containers and sweep up any crumbs regularly. You should also keep your garbage can lid closed and empty it often. Finally, keep an eye out for any new pests and call your pest control company if you see any.

What does pest control actually do?

Pest control is the process of preventing and managing pests, such as insects, rodents, and other small animals. Pest control can be done through a variety of methods, including chemical sprays, traps, and other physical barriers. After pest control has been performed, it is generally safe to be in the house; however, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, pest control products can be toxic, so it is important to follow the instructions on the label carefully. Second, if you have young children or pets, you may want to take them out of the house while the pest control products are drying. Finally, make sure to ventilate the house well after pest control has been performed.

How do I prepare for an exterminator?

When you hire an exterminator, you want to make sure your family and home are safe. Here are a few tips on how to prepare for an exterminator: -Clear out any clutter. This includes clothes, shoes, toys, and anything else that might be lying around. Clutter provides hiding places for pests and makes it difficult for the exterminator to do a thorough job. -Move furniture away from walls. This will give the exterminator better access to those hard-to-reach places where pests like to hide. -Seal off any food. Pests are attracted to food, so it's important to seal off anything that might be tempting to them. This includes putting away food in the pantry, sealing up garbage cans, and cleaning up any spills or crumbs. -Cover up pet food and water bowls. Just like with people food, pests are attracted to pet food and water. Be sure to cover up pet bowls while the exterminator is working. By following these simple tips, you can help make the job of the exterminator easier and keep your family safe during treatment.

Is pest control safe for pets and kids?

If you have young children or pets, you may be wondering if pest control is safe for them. The short answer is yes, pest control is generally safe for both kids and pets when it is done properly. However, there are some things you should keep in mind to ensure that your pest control treatment is as safe as possible for everyone in your home. First, always make sure that the best pest control company for roaches you use is licensed and insured. This will protect you in case anything goes wrong during the treatment process. Second, ask the pest control company what precautions they take to protect kids and pets during treatment. Many companies will use child- and pet-safe products to minimize the risk of exposure to harmful chemicals. Third, follow all instructions from the pest control company carefully. This includes keeping kids and pets out of the treated area until it is safe to return. By taking these simple precautions, you can rest assured that your pest control treatment will be safe for everyone in your home.

Normal raccoon pest control is never safe for kids as well as pets. In today’s busy world people don’t have time to take care of their houses. They don’t get enough time to look after their houses. With the development over time, the problem of pests has increased. 

Most of the time, it is found that kids are playing on the grounds, and they may come in contact with pesticides used. When you are planning to take the service of pest control Detroit MI make sure that the chemicals being used are less harmful to children and pets. 

Generally, people in hurry, use any kind of pesticide to get rid of pests. Along with getting rid of the pest, it is very important to think over the side effects of pesticides one uses. Adults understand the precautions to be taken after pest control but what about children and pets?

The not so trusted rodent removal Oakland county pest control services make promises of providing service without any side effects but the fact is that the chemicals used by them affect the lungs and creates problem with breathing. 

Precautions to Take During Pest Control by Detroit exterminators

Don’t let the kids and pets play just after the pest control.

Throw away any food that has been left outside

Avoid cleaning right away as the chemicals way wash away.

Don't leave paper lying around

Keep note of any signs of allergies after the pest control

Avail Service of Pest Management Company- Don’t use “Over the Counter” pesticides

Everyone is so busy today that they want anything to be done in haste. They don’t care about the side effects of the things done in haste. Sometimes pets become so annoying that people become desperate to get rid of them and for this people do not at all spend a minute thinking of the side effects of the chemical used.

Be selective in choosing

Cockroach pest control has been providing pest control service that is both affordable and non-harmful for children and pets. The staff is trained enough to help in getting rid of pests. The pests make the life of humans full of chaos so the City of Detroit rodent control help in being free of rodents and pests. 

Choose the environment-friendly pest services

You should not play with the life of kids and pets. Almost every problem has a solution but the need is to recognize the best. Pest control Oakland is at your service because we have the experience of solving the problems of pests. Having experience of so many years, we understand the nature of pest and their cycle.

We use chemicals that are not harmful to kids but rather use that chemical that does not have an effect on health. The skins of kids are very delicate; the chemicals may burn their skin. Our service is perfect because we do the work without touching most of the places. Most of your home properties and things are untouched.

Conclusion

For everyone, their children, and pets are very close. But being ignorant in some places like choosing non-reliable Pest Control Oakland can bring danger to your loved ones. Don’t hesitate to call Trap Master Pest Control. We provide best-in-class service and 100 % customer satisfaction.

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Stress relief

mind your bisnuess I’m working through some shit 

Atsumu x reader

warnings: smut, just- so much smut, Oral, car sex, fingering, Daddy kink, degradation, marking, ass play, dirty talk,Brat taming, slut shaming AND virgin shaming (we got it all folks), hair pulling, cum play, creampie, breading kink, drinking/ Drunk sex, angst annnnnd swearing. 

word count: 4,800 (about) (yes really get off my back)

summary: Atsumu is a dick, but he’s got a good dick at least you have no idea how mad I am I’ve already used the title Enemy with Benifits. 

“Are- Are you fucking kidding me?” you asked, Atsumu just shrugged. 

“No, I’m not fucking kidding you what’s your deal?” he said casually. You took a deep breath. You had been trying to work on your anger issues, Not blowing up on people over nothing. But this really felt like something worth blowing up over. 

“Myia, be honest with me, do you think I’m stupid?” you asked. He smirked.

“I think you’re a lot of things babe-” you stood up getting in his face jabbing your finger in his chest cutting off his no doubt horrendous flirting. 

“You fucking ripped off you’re entire part of the project! How the fuck did you think no one would notice?” you shouted. You had known this was going to be a train wreck the moment Atsumu was assigned as your partner. He was such a fucking moron, he’d only gotten into this College because of his sports scholarship. You would have been better working on your own.

“I cited the article I copied, what's the deal?” he snapped, the volume of your voice irking him. 

“That’s not how this fucking works you can’t just hit copy-paste and call it a day the point is you come up with your own ideas, although in your defense I’m not sure you’re brain could manage something like that,” you shouted. He sneared. 

“I’ll rewrite it just stop being a bitch alright?” he scoffed, turning to leave your dorm room. You wanted to hit him, how dare he call you a bitch when you were just looking out for his dumb ass. Even high schoolers knew you’d be expelled for plagiarising. Once Atsumu left you slumped back in your seat looking at the presentation open on your laptop. You were already so busy but somehow you’d have to find enough time to do half of the project unless you wanted to fail that was.

“Hey, you’re working with (y/n) on your project right?” Osamu asked, setting his volleyball up in the air over and over again. 

“Yeah, they totally blew up on me today so now I gotta redo the whole thing,” Atsumu sighed 

“They’re hot though,” his brother said. Atsumu smiled to himself, remembering your angry face as you chewed him out.

“Really hot,” he agreed. 

“Are you gonna fuck them?” 

“Of course, they might an asshole but they want me,”

“Hey (y/n),” you looked up at the sound of your name only to groan seeing Atsumu run towards you. He had clearly just come from practice, he was still in his jersey. Fucking jocks. 

He probably thought he looked hot, with a light sheen of sweat that made his skin glow and tousled hair. He did look hot, it made you want to kick his shins. 

“If you aren’t going to tell me that you finished your half of the presentation I don’t want to hear it,” you snapped.

“Well then you aren’t going to be happy then but there’s a game this weekend, you should come, cheer for me,” he said winking. You rolled your eyes. 

“I was already planning on going, but you’re nuts if you think I’m gonna cheer for you,” you snapped, still a little heated about your last encounter with him. 

“And why not?” he asked, smirking, it pissed you off. You just knew he thought he looked so cute smiling at you like that. 

“I cheer for winners,”

You and Atsumu were at each other’s throats for the rest of the year. Atsumu Gave up on his plan to sleep with you and you gave up on your anger management, at least around him. If other people were in this situation they might stay away from their sworn enemy, but not you two. 

You made it to every volleyball game just to tell Osamu how great he did and how handsome he was looking today. Atsumu sat next to you in every class you shared talking your ear off making sure that you didn’t learn a damn thing. 

It was annoying as hell, you wanted to strangle him, but it was nice in a kind of way. If you were stressed or pissed off you could drag Atsumu as a little fun. And even if nothing else in your life was going right. You could always count on this blonde dick to be the worst to you. 

“Damn we had the exterminator here last week but there’s a roach right here,” Atsumu sneered over the thumping music at the party. You scoffed and rolled your eyes. 

“You need to look up more insults you’ve already used that one,” you barked back, normally seeing Atsumu would be enough to dampen your mood but the booze must have been doing its job because you still felt all light and buzzed. 

“Beer?” he asked, holding up a bottle for you, ever the gracious host. 

“I’m good,” you said holding up the can of seltzer you’d been drinking out of it was fruity and only had a little bite to it, you were already on your third one. 

“Right I forgot that a baby like you couldn’t handle the taste of beer,” he scoffed, he was closer now, towering over you and pressing one of his forearms to the wall by your head as he leaned over you, shielding you from the rest of the party. You never realized before how big he was. Tall and wide. Muscular too, it was no wonder half the people at the Volleyball games creamed themselves just seeing him. 

“You’re such a dick, why do you always have to be so mean?” you asked before even realizing the words that you’d spoken.

“You aren’t exactly nice either princess, besides that’s how this works, that’s our dynamic,” he said. He must be pretty drunk too. Nothing he was saying was making any sense. 

“Still, how do you expect anyone to put up with you when you’re such a douche bag all the time?” you said the anger you associated with Atsumu finally setting in. 

“If it works it works, I mean you’re obsessed with me,” he said. You gagged and shoved his chest, he didn’t move, god how strong was he?

“Fuck off I hate you, why would I be obsessed with you? God you think that the world fucking revolves around you. How could any-”

His lips met yours effectively shutting you up. His hand came up cupping the back of your head and you couldn’t help but melt into the kiss, pressing your body against his and dropping your drink so your hands would be free to rake through his hair. You weren’t nice about the kiss either, your teeth gnashed against his when he tried to push his tongue into your mouth. You bit his lower lip and tugged at his hair, moaning against his mouth when he did the same to you. 

He broke away breathlessly, still holding you close to his body while you caught your breath. He was so pretty his cheeks flushed his lips wet and glossy. God, you wanted to kiss him again, even if he tasted like beer and he had been right in his assessment that you weren’t a big fan of the taste. 

“Good to know theirs one way to shut you the fuck up,” he teased. You groaned in frustration pulling him back down into another kiss. This one was just as passionate and fierce as the first. He pushed you against the wall and pulled up one of your legs and forced it around his waist so he could grind against you. You shuddered feeling him rut the seam of your jeans against your clit. 

“Woulda fucked you a lot sooner if i'd known you made such pretty noises when you were touched,” he muttered reaching up and palming your breast through your shirt. Atsumu started kissing, or maybe biting was a better word. The top part of your neck even pays some attention to your jaw and earlobe while he humped and groped you. 

“I knew you were a pervert but I never knew you were filthy enough to fuck me out in the open like this,” you gasped, tugging at his hair. You could feel your panties get sticky with your arousal and you wanted him to take you out of here and fuck you already. 

“You’re gonna let me fuck you?” he asked, pulling back so he could look at you and smirk. You smiled back, the fight wasn’t out of you yet. 

“Why would I do that? I’d rather sleep with someone who could make me cum,” you spat and his grin quickly fell, there was a competitive fire in his eyes that you normally only saw when he was playing.

“Oh Daddy’s gonna make you cum you fucking brat, I’ll make you squirt, you’re gonna cry with how good my dick feels,” he growled in a low voice you’d never heard before and suddenly you were regretting your comment. 

“Daddy?” you snorted

Atsumu detangled himself from you and grabbed you by the wrist tugging you out of the frat house and to his car. You shook your head and broke free of his iron-clad grasp. 

“I know you’re stupid but this is a new low, both of us are way too drunk to drive,” you shouted. Atsumu just laughed at you, opening the back door to his car. 

“We aren’t driving dumbass now get in,” he said. You bit your lip and slid into the back seat shortly followed by Atsumu who locked the door behind him. 

The seat wasn’t large but it was big enough to move around in. He pressed you onto the leather upholstery, your legs bent and splayed out at an awkward angle to fit him between them. He went back to kissing you sloppily while his hands went to work taking off your shirt and bra. 

Your nipples hardened once the cold night air touched you. “Wanted to suck on your pretty tits for the longest time,” he groaned quickly lowering his head, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth while he fingered the other twisting and pinching it. You yelped when his teeth grazed over the bud. His eyes flicked up to yours and he let go of the spit-soaked nipple blowing on it lightly making you shiver. 

“How long has it been since you’ve been fucked huh? So many guys want to fuck this sweet little pussy but you’re too stuck up to let that happen.” he snears sucking the other nipple into his mouth. 

“Bet you’re still a fucking virgin,” he said speaking around your mouth. 

“ I a-am not,” you whined, you’d lost your virginity in high school, but you really hadn’t gotten fucked since then. 

“Oh listen to you whine you totally are,” he scoffed 

“No I’m Not!” you protested he let go of your nipple and kissed you again threading his fingers through your hair and pressing your face to his. 

“Shut up you fucking virgin,” he said sweetly, before pulling off his shirt, and before you could admire his chiseled chest he distracted you by biting your neck again. You pressed your hand to the center console to keep from slipping off with one hand and clinging to his shoulders with the other. 

Atsumu deftly unbuttoned your jeans and shoved his hands in your pants touching your through your soaked underwear. You felt him smirk against your neck but he didn’t make any remark about it. Good thing for him too because you could feel his hard prick pressing up against your thigh and you were ready to drag him for it if he commented on your own arousal. 

God, you could feel his cock. It was big, heavy, and hard, pressed against your leg. You wanted to see it, touch it, feel it inside of you. He’d pushed your panties to the side now so he could push his large fingers inside brushing against your velvet walls. 

“A-Atsumu,” you said, pitching your leg up to rub against his dick.  “I want to suck your cock,” you whimpered. You felt him twitch. 

“Here I thought you were a virgin but you’re just a slutty whore aren't cha?” he growled against your neck picking your hips up and yanking your pants down your legs leaving them pooled around your ankles leaving you to kick your jeans off completely. You felt a little stupid naked except for your shoes but Atsumu quickly distracted you by folding you in half pressing your knees to your chest and leaving your pussy completely exposed. 

“I’ll fuck your throat later, right now I gotta make you cum remember?” he said playing his hands over your thighs keeping g you folded before lowering his head and diving into your folds like a man starved. 

Just like he kissed you, he was mean about it, sucking so harshly that you cried out and spanking your cunt just to make you jump. The only time he pulled back was to spit on your asshole lubing it up enough to slip a finger inside. 

“Sumu please,” you cried out as he filled you with his tongue pressing against your G-spot over and over again while he pinched your clit. You weren’t even sure what you were begging for. He just hummed in acknowledgment, whatever you were begging for he wasn’t going to have it. 

“Daddy,” you pleaded, finally caving. Atsumu smiled to himself. He wasn’t nice but he did reward good behavior. 

He switched it up sucking your clit into your mouth and plunging the fingers of his clean hand, the one that hadn’t just been your ass, inside of you curling up and pressing against your g-pot over and over again until you came screaming so loud that you were sure people back at the house could hear you. 

“See didn’t that feel good slut?” he cooed condescendingly. There was a pool of cum beneath you soaking into the leather seats. Good thing this was Osamus’s car. Now all he had to do was make you cry. 

“I-I’m not a slut,” you whined. 

“Oh? Which is it? Are you not a virgin or are you not a slut?” he asked, squeezing your cheeks. You didn’t know how to respond. 

“Well I think you’re a slut, Daddy’s little slut,” he snapped. 

There was a dark stain of precum staining his jeans where the head of his cock was leaking he quickly shoved down his pants and boxers before sitting down and pulling you into his lap. You hovered above him as he pumped his cock in his hand running the head of his cock through your soaked folds and bumping your clit. 

“You’re gonna be a good whore and ride Daddy’s cock right?” he asked, lining the head of his dick up with your entrance. You bit your lip and nodded, shakily lowering yourself down on him. Atsumu hissed feeling your tight heat wrap around him. 

You gripped his shoulders feeling how well he filled you up, the tip pressing against your cervix. You took a minute to adjust before lifting yourself up on your knees and started to fuck yourself onto him. 

Atsumu brought you close and kissed you again, one of his hands slipping between your bodies to stroke your clit while you bounced up and down on his cock.  You couldn’t help but moan into his mouth as he touched you. He filled you up so well, you had teased him about not being able to get you off but even you couldn’t deny how good it felt to have him so deep inside of you. 

“You feel that baby? You feel Daddy pressing up against your Cervix, I’m going to blow my fat load right into your slutty little womb,” he snarled his hips snapping up to meet yours. You whined, throwing your head back in pleasure, almost hitting your head on the headrest. 

“Gonna knock you up, gonna stuff this slutty pussy with cum,” he growled, he was talking more to himself but you couldn’t help but shudder at his words. You were on birth control but you desperately wanted him to fill you up. 

“Are you gonna cum princess?” He asked, “I can feel your cunt squeezing my cock like that, you’re gonna cum.” He was right, you could feel a second orgasm welling up in your core as his cock pulsed inside of you. 

“Atsumu-Daddy, I’m gonna cum,” you moaned kissing him sloppily, your hips faltered when you came but Atsumu’s hands went to your hips moving your body for you as he chased his own high, true to his word he came deep inside of you filling you up and pressing his cock against your cervix. 

You collapsed against his chest gasping for breath. He ran his hand soothingly over your back. 

“You look tired, you wanna crash somewhere babe?” he asked. 

“We’re still too drunk to drive,” you murmured. 

“I have a buddy in the frat house, I’m sure he’ll let me steal his bed for the night, especially for a cutie like you,” he said. You pulled back to look at him.

“You had a bed here this whole time and you still made me fuck you in the car?” 

When you woke up your whole body hurt. Your head ached your eyes stung and your body was littered with bruises. You didn’t even want to check in with the lower half of your body. You groaned sitting up in bed clutching your head. Then you felt the bed beside you shift, you froze remembering how you’d ended last night. 

Atsumu cracked one eye open and his face split into a huge grin. “I had the best dream last night-” he teased you and moved to hit him but he caught your wrist and flipped you on your back pinning you to the bed. 

He hovered above you his breath hitting your face in soft puffs. You leaned up and kissed him, suddenly you were a mess of limbs and hands trying to tear each other’s clothes off while you kissed. You hissed as his fingers grazed the bite marks on your neck. 

“Go easy on me I’m still sore,” you complained. Atsumu smirked.

“Did I wreck you that badly baby?” he asked, teasingly grinding his morning wood on your leg. You shuddered. 

“Shut up and fuck me asshole,” you demand. He tugged off your underwear and hooked your legs over his shoulders. 

“As you wish your majesty,” he scoffed and slowly pushed two of his fingers into you

Your cunt ached and it hurt to feel his fingers prod you open, but soon the pain dissolved into pleasure as he continued to finger you. 

“Such a pretty wet little cunt, so wet and sticky for me,” he purred, “you like this slut? You like getting fingered first thing in the morning?” he asked. 

“Do you like humping my ass like a fucking dog first thing in the morning?” you spat back. He grunted and roughly jerked his finger up hitting your G-spot making you cry out your back arching off the bed. 

“That’s what I thought,” he scoffed before completely pulling his fingers out and sticking them into his mouth sucking on your juices. 

“I’m not gonna fuck you if you keep being mean,” he said shoving down his own clothes 

“Shut up, I bet I’m the only one you know who lets you get your dick wet,” you growled. He snapped into you in one swift motion. You cried out your nails digging into his shoulders. It hurt but the pain sent a rush of endorphins making you moan. 

“Really you think that I could fuck you like this without any practice dollface? Don’t forget you’re the virgin here,” he teased drawing his hips back before ramming back into you. This pace was much harsher than what you’d set last night. You were helpless, and entirely at his mercy, he had you folded in half, and you could only moan and scratch at his back. 

“Imna fill this cunt with cum, nothing better than emptying my balls in your warm cunt first thing in the morning,” he muttered to himself as he continued to fuck you. 

“Already?” you teased.

“Fuck off or I’ll fuck you until you pass out,” he threatened. 

“Hurry up and make me cum, I’ve got shit to do today,” you snapped. 

“God do you ever stop being a bitch?” he asked, pulling out of you and flipping you over, jerking your hips up and sliding back into you. you moaned feeling his cock hit new sweet spots. You arched your back pressing your hips to his and burying your face into the pillows. 

The bed creaked with the force of his thrusts, the headboard hitting the wall with a loud bang. Atsumu brought his hand down on your ass making you jump, it stung and you were reminded of his killer serves that you had seen so many times. 

“There, no more bitchy comebacks? Have you gone braindead on my cock?” he mocked spanking you again. 

“Daddy!” you pleaded. Your thighs trembling as wetness dripped down your legs. 

“Awe theirs my sweet little slut, ready to be good now?” 

“Y-yes,” you whined desperate to cum.  Atsumu grunted and finally went easy on you, rubbing your clit and easing into you in slow, deep thrusts until he felt your pussy cream around him. 

“There you go baby,” he said pulling out of you, his hard cock dripping in your juices. “You still want to suck on my cock?” he asked. You bit your lower lip, embarrassed at the memory. You shifted on the bed settling in between his legs taking the head of his cock into your mouth and wrapping your hands around the rest of his dick. 

You licked softly at the slit in the head picking up the bitter precum with your tongue.  You slowly took more of his cock in your mouth hollowing your cheeks out around him. His dick was just too big for you to fit completely into your mouth so you moved your hands up and down his shaft while you took as much of him as you could, swirling your tongue around the head. 

“You’re doing so well baby,” he moaned, smoothing your hair back from your face. “I didn’t think a virgin like you’d be so good,” he teased. You glared up at him as you continued to suck his dick but you resolved to bite him if he made a comment like that again. 

“I think I like you better like this you’re so pretty when you shut the- OW watch the teeth,” 

You could taste it as the precum dribbled out of his cock smearing over your tongue, you were getting used to the bitter taste and it wasn’t that bad. You pushed your head down pressing his cock to the back of your throat suppressing your gag reflex. 

“Fuck, baby just like that i’m going to cum down your thoat,” he groaned his hips stuttering upwards pushing his dick down your throat deaper making you choke. Atsumu didn’t care,he was moaning loudly as his hips spasmed up into your mouth. 

You choked when his semen flooded your mouth. “Fuuck,” he sighed, pulling out of your mouth. You sluptered trying to catch the mess that bubbled out of your mouth. 

“Ah, swallow what you can baby,” Atsumu said, whipping your chin with his thumb. You did as he asked, choking down what you could. He pushed you back on the bed kissing your neck, his lips running over your bruises, 

“I like you like this, we should fuck more often he teased,” you shoved his chest, but weakly, it was clearly just for show. You didn’t want to admit it but you agreed with him. 

You kept seeing Atsumu after that. He was a little nicer with you normally. Or at least, he saved his mean side for the bedroom and was a little sweeter to you. If you were a little more naive you might have even started to fall for him a little bit. 

That was the Chliche right? You start out hating someone but then after a few nights of passion you were in love?  Bullshit, it was all Bullshit. 

you knew Atsumu hadn’t changed, and he wasn’t exactly saving himself for you. You couldn’t count how many times you’d walked in on him making out with some random chick, you’d even walked in on him while he’d been balls deep in some other girl. 

That being said, you hadn’t changed either. you still had a temper like no other and were quick to snap, especially at Atsumu. You didn’t have many friends who put up with your bullshit so why would He even fall in love with you?

You shouldn’t be in love with him. He was an asshole, a heartless fuck boy. So why did you like him so much? why did it sting when you thought about how hopless your whole situation. 

It sucked, this whole thing was just awful. That being said, you still jumped at the chance to see him everytime he called, you really were hopless. 

“Where are we going?” you asked as Atsumu drove. You didn’t recognize this street and you knew you weren’t going to his place. 

“It’s a surprise,” he said. You scoffed and crossed your arms. He pulled into a parking lot and you were surprised to see you were at a park. 

“What are you going to fuck me on the slide?” you asked, following him out of the car and into the park. 

“I used to come here all the time when I was a kid, me and my brother would play here,” he said, ignoring you and walking to the swings, you followed. 

“And I still come here a lot, it’s a good place to think and it’s just a really special place for me,” he said sitting on the swing and gesturing for you to sit on his lap. 

You did, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. “I don’t like where this conversation is going,” you said furrowing your eyebrows. It was almost the middle of the night so it was dark but you could still see the dopey lovestruck look on his face. 

“Stumu, you’re not supposed to call me for stuff like this,” you said unwrapping your arms around his neck, you were going to get off his lap but he wrapped his arms around his waist keeping you there. 

The two of you had agreed only to call each other when you wanted sex, this mushy romantic shit was defently not sex. 

“You’re so pretty baby, let me be nice to you,” he said kissing you and you melted into him, just like every time he kissed you. 

“You’re never nice to me,” you protested. He reached under your shirt groping you. 

“Because you never let me,” he protested. 

“What’s with you?” you asked, grabbing his wrist and shoving him away from you. 

“I love you,” he said. You couldn’t deal with this right now, you got off his lap and started walking back to the car

“Take me home,” you demanded.  “I don’t want to talk about this,” you said. 

“(y/n)-” he said running in front of you stopping you. 

“Please, I know you hate this shit, but please can we talk,” he pleaded taking your hands in his, 

“You can’t just say shit like that Tsumu! We’re not supposed to love each other we’re supposed to fuck and get under eachother’s skin and fight that’s how this works!” you shouted.

Atsumu kissed your knuckles, seeming to ignore your yelling. 

“We didn’t used to fuck either, we used to just get under eachother’s skin,” he pointed out. He wrapped you in his arms. You pressed your face to his chest and you felt your cheeks get wet with tears. You hiccupped and sobbed,  trying to keep your emotions bottled up was hard.  

“I love you,” he said again.  You shoved him and whipped your face. 

“I don’t want to do this Atsumu, take me home,” you demanded. He deflated. 

“Okay baby, let's go home, I’ll be waiting, when you’re ready,” he said rubbing your shoulders and taking you back to his car. 

You drove in silence. You hated this. Yout hated him. Atsumu was a playboy, an idiot and an asshole who only cared about Volleyball. You just wanted to insult him and fuck him to blow off steam. You weren’t supposed to fall for him. You weren’t supposed to love his cocky smile and his stupid jokes. His stupid flirty remarks weren’t supposed to make you blush. 

“Baby?” he prompted you blinked and saw you were sitting in front of your dorm building. “Hey,” he purred, wiping the tears off your cheeks. You didn’t need him to tell you that he loved you, you could tell every time  he did something like this. You couldn’t help but lean into his touch. 

“I really wished we’d had sex tonight,” you whispered. He laughed. 

“fuck am I really that ireaistable doll?” he teased, pinching your cheek as he pulled away. 

“I do love you Atsumu, I just- I just don’t know what to do about it,” you admitted. Atsumu smiled lazily. 

you meant it too, you loved him so much. but it was impossible to get the image of the time you walked in on him sleeping with another girl out of your mind. Was that what it meant to be in a relationship with him? If so then you weren’t going to do it, you weren’t signing yourself up for that kind of heartbreak. Maybe you should just give up on him and block him. 

“Like I said. I’ll wait for you, and next time I promise we’ll have the best sex of your life-Not that’s a hard bar to clear you virigin,” he teased. You smiled and playfully hit him in the arm. You got out of his car and walked into your building as he drove away, and at least for tonight. That was enough. 

[writersmilex]

Short Wick.

Nathan explosion x Reader.

Prompt : Nathan gets angry at all the guys who try and flirt with his friend, (Y/n).

(A/n) : i know i am breaking one of my own rules here. This ones from before i enlisted that rule. And if i changed it, it wouldn’t make sense.

_______________________________________

It's a sort of ritual thing among the two to have a shopping day together as friends.

Nathan and (Y/n) have been friends for a long time.

She has always played the supporter role of the band, and sometimes playing mother/older sister to the group.

"what are we waiting for? Let's go." she pats him on the back to make him walk. Nathan merely grunts and follows (Y/n) inside.

Nathan and (Y/n) are standing in front of the mall entrance, going over

(Y/n)'s list of errands.

"a new lamp?" Nathan questions, raising an eyebrow at (Y/n)' s list.

"I saw a roach the other day, threw a lamp at it. And now I need a new lamp... And an exterminator or anti-pest stuff." (Y/n) sighs as she remembers how embarrassing the conversation with her neighbor was.

She then folds up the list and looks at Nathan.  "what are we waiting for? Let's go." she pats him on the back to make him walk. Nathan merely grunts and follows (Y/n) inside. ~~~~

Once the duo is inside, (Y/n) turns to Nathan.

"so...is there anywhere you wanna look?" she asks with a smile.

He thinks for a moment.

"they have a survival shop here. I want to go there." He suggests, pointing into the direction of the shop.

"they sell knives and other brutal *Riff* like that."

(Y/n) laughs,

"that sure sounds epic. Let's go to the survival shop then." (Y/n) follows Nathan as he starts to walk towards the shop.

On the way to the shop that's all the way on the other side of the mall. The duo hear a whistle.

"Nice legs lady!" another man dares to catcall (Y/n).

(Y/n) grins and waves at the man. "Thanks dude, i worked hard on them." She calls back, taking the catcalling as a compliment.

Nathan stops, his neck snaps to look at the man who called, his face darkens as he let's out a low and threatening growl. No one hits on (Y/n) while he's near her...

the man gulps at the reaction of the guy next to the lady he catcalled. Thinking it's his girlfriend or something, he scurries off in a hurry.

(Y/n) chuckles and turns back to Nathan. "Chill Nate. This isn't the first time i got catcalled."

Nathan sneers, "i didn't like it." Is all he says. (Y/n) shrugs and continues her stroll to the camping shop, Nathan right behind her.

~~~~

The camping shop has indeed brutal hunting knives, along with other interesting things you would need for camping.

While Nathan is eyeing all the knives, (Y/n) is checking out anti-pest poisons for her roach problem at home.

While reading the description of an anti-bug spray, (Y/n) someone tap her one the shoulder.

"find everything you need ma'am?" (Y/n) turns to her side to see a young looking man standing next to her. The young man with short brown hair and glasses smiles at (Y/n). (Y/n)'s face lights up to the store employee before her.

"ah, i actually need some anti-bug...for my roach problem at home." (Y/n) chuckles awkwardly and scratches her cheek. The employee, who is named: Jake. according to his name-tag. He takes another can of Ant-bug of a different brand.

"This brand is a sort of foam poison, when sprayed in to every nookie and cranny, the roaches will stay out of your home. roach free for when i visit after a date." The young man tries to flirt.

"uhh..." (Y/n) just tilts her head more in embarrassment than confusion, squinting her eyes at him.

Nathan is listening to everything this guy is saying to (Y/n) while purchasing the hunting knife he finds the most brutal.

Once done with the purchase, He decides to scare this employee away from (Y/n) by intimidating him.

Nathan slowly creeps up behind the employee. (Y/n) notices Nathan behind the employee, and gives him a look of disapproval. Nathan looms over the young man, and then speaks up.

"is there a problem here?" Nathan growls at the young man, who almost jumps a hole in the ceiling. the employee flips around to look up at Nathan's towering figure. "no-no. no sir. So-sorry i'll leave now." The young employee, with a red face, jogs away from Nathan and (Y/n).

~~~~

Nathan's aura lightens up once the employee is gone, and then turns to look at (Y/n).

"was he bothering you?" He asks. (Y/n) scoffs and shakes her head. "no, he was helping me with the anti-bug! I could have easily turned him down myself." (Y/n) argues, picking up the foam can that the employee dropped on the floor. "some jack offs can't take a 'no' very well." Nathan warns. (Y/n) simply huffs and nods and goes to the cashier to pay for the foam.

Nathan is slowly growing more irritated as other guy continue to hit on his friend. It just doesn't sit right with him. He's grossed out with the thought of (Y/n) going out with someone.

A fresh, cold bottle of beer is placed in front of him. Along with the steak he ordered.

"drink a beer Nate. You need to loosen up a little." (Y/n) says, pouring her own beer in the glass she got with the order. "yeah..." Nathan sighs, and the duo start eating the lunch they ordered at the restaurant where they decided to take a stop at. "I could easily down another 5 of these." Nathan comments after a moment of comfortable silence between the two while gesturing to the now already empty bottle."Let's control ourselves, we're not here to get drunk." (Y/n) responds with a laugh.

"is he your boyfriend?" The waiter asks.

"does everything taste good?" a waiter says as he walks up to the duo's table.

(Y/n) smiles at the waiter. "Yes, very good!" she beams and puts a thumb up.

The waiter smiles back at (Y/n). "that's good. I have to say miss, you are a very beautiful lady." The waiter compliments. Nathan's grip on the knife tightened as he tries his best to hold it in and not make a scene, or kill this guy who even dares to flirt with his friend in his presence.

(Y/n) blushes and smiles at the waiter, "Why thank you sir. that's very nice of you." she replies and giggles softly.

the waiter takes one side glance at Nathan before turning to back to (Y/n).

(Y/n) glances at Nathan herself. To see him turn red from frustration. Her expression fall into one of worry and she looks back at the waiter.

"no-""YES! NOW *RIFF* OFF!!!" Nathan roars out and cuts (Y/n) off. the few people who were in the restaurant look up in shock at the commotion. "Natha-""STOP TALKING TO HER YOU *RIFF*ING *RIFF*!!" (Y/n) is once again cut off by Nathan screaming at the waiter.

the waiter jumps back in fear of what he possible has done to anger this man.

~~~~

Nathan stands up, his hair masking his face like curtains. He snatches (Y/n)'s wrist with the intention to leave.

"u-uhmm. Sir, you-you can't leave without pay-""I'M NATHAN *RIFF*ING EXPLOSION!!!" that was all he had to roar out and the waiter backs off with his hands up in defense.

Red-faced, Nathan stomps off clutching (Y/n)'s wrist in his hands. (Y/n) struggling to keep up.

"You didn't like those guys hitting on me, huh?" (Y/n) raises an eyebrow. Nathan stops pacing, but doesn't turn to look at the woman with him. "and how you said yes when the waiter asked if you are my boyfriend?" Nathan's face had just started to cool down and now the heat rises up again, his cheeks dusting pink.

"ugh, Nathan, what the *Riff* was that all about?!" (Y/n) asks, she pulled her arm free from Nathan's grip. Nathan has walked outside with (Y/n). Hoping that fresh air would calm himself a little.

He starts to pace back and forth, to calm down without punching anything.

"i *Riff*ing hate this mall." he groans while still walking. (Y/n) crosses her arms, watching Nathan walking back and forth.

She starts to think, tapping her chin and putting all the dots in line.

Ending the story this way? yes. Great right?

"Nathan?" (Y/n) tries to get his full attention. Nathan however, stands completely still, a single grunt in acknowledgement comes from him.

"Is there something you need to tell me?"

_______________________________________

Thanks for reading

-Missalot.

[bunnyofnegativeeuphoria]

Prompt Fill: “Cold”

I’m what they like to call not a clown but the entire circus. I’ve managed to delete one of the asks by accident, but rest assured I did see an anonymous prompter wish for “cold” or something to that effect...

Dear reader, it’s 3,3K words, so here we fucking go, lads.

Islanders

Cleaned up and now also on Ao3

“A room and a bath,” Geralt says without even glancing at the barman, attention fully on the precious cargo in his arms.

“Hang on, Witcher, you can’t just–”

“You’ll get your coin,” he grits through his teeth, “but whether your head is still attached to your neck when you do is for you to decide. Room and a bath. Now.”

A key lands on the countertop. 

“Upstairs and second door on the right.”

 The man shouts to someone behind himself. “Ilde! Hot water for the Witcher, sharpish!” 

“Geralt?” 

His senses turn from the foul stench of old ale and unwashed bodies and funnel inwards towards the shape of Jaskier. His bard moans softly and leans an icy forehead against Geralt’s neck. 

“Hmm?” Geralt murmurs against Jaskier’s hair.

“C-cold.”

He reeks of misery, sharp and undeserved. A great shiver runs through Jaskier, and Geralt tightens his hold around him.

“Cold water will do,” he grunts at the barman.

“But–”

“As fast as you can,” Geralt says, grabbing the key and making for the stairwell.

***

Casting igni in the direction of the hearth, Geralt lays Jaskier out on top of a humble straw mattress and begins to undress him. There’s no cloak, and the fool’s doublet is wet through. It refuses to budge, but Geralt has one ear turned towards Jaskier’s heartbeat and doesn’t hesitate to rip apart the fabric to get to skin. It’s paler than it should be and cold to the touch – cold where on any other day it is warmth itself. His bard gravitates towards sources of heat like a stable cat to an opportune sunbeam, and to exist in his orbit is a blessing greater than any coin Geralt has ever earned. 

The ruined doublet hits the floor with a squelch. Geralt moves to grab Jaskier’s breeches, but a shaking hand stops him.

“I-I r-rather lik-ked that ‘n,” Jaskier says, looking if anything even more unhappy than before. 

His pulse spikes, and worry roils in Geralt’s gut. 

“Doublets are replaceable,” he says. He spares a quick squeeze to Jaskier’s fingers before pulling the breeches and boots off in one desperate, inelegant action.

Jaskier is not a small man, but now, sad and shivering on the cusp of blue-tinged infirmity, he hunches and curls, reducing himself. Geralt misses his all-encompassing business. 

“In here,” comes a voice from the hallway, followed by what looks like the barman and his entire family. Two boys roll a tub in and settle it in front of the fireplace, and the others empty several buckets worth of water into it. 

“More, go on,” Ilde says, and the troop leaves as quick as they come, casting wary glances at Geralt’s swords as they go. 

“W-we’ll h’ve t-to p-pay more,” Jaskier says.

Geralt frowns and throws a threadbare blanket on top of him, inadequate and dusty though it is. 

“If they get the rest of the water within the minute, they can have double.”

“Not double. They’ll ch-cheat you. Always d-do.” Jaskier clasps at the blanket. His hands, normally so clever and expressive, jerk with exhaustion and looming danger. “Not-t worth it.”

“Let me account for what value I keep,” Geralt says. “Not hush. You have to conserve energy.”

Geralt sits down and takes a hold of Jaskier’s hands.

“W-what?”

“Shh.”

He wraps his giant paws around Jaskier’s hands, feeling wiry strength and a lifeline beneath the cold. Pressing his lips to the gap between his own thumbs, he blows warm air into the space between them. When he looks up after the third blow, he finds Jaskier looking at him. He smells less scared now. There’s a thought dancing on the tip of the bard’s tongue, but Geralt gives him a quelling look.  

“Right,” Ilde says from the doorway, and buckets follow with the kind of efficiency born of a strong desire to done and elsewhere. In less than a minute they are alone once more, door closing with a firm press. 

A steady stream of controlled fire erupts from Geralt’s hand, and he guides it across the surface of the tub until steam rises like from Roach’s back when she’s been safely put to bed in a warm stall after a day of cold and damp. The water ripples as he tests the temperature.

“G-Geralt?” Jaskier is sitting up, blanket having dropped to the ground. “C-can I?”

“Hmm,” Geralt says. Jaskier’s heartbeat has yet to settle, but his lips have lost their frosty stiffness. Though dry and cracked, they look pinker and plumper than before. “It’s all for you.” 

Gathering Jaskier in his arms once more, he hurries to the tub. He lowers Jaskier as well he can, but when they break the water’s surface–

“Ow,” Jaskier hisses. “Ow, G-Geralt.”

“I’m sorry, but you have to–”

“Hurts,” Jaskier presses, turning his face into Geralt’s neck with the same blind faith as he had when Geralt had come across him only an hour earlier, sodden and lost on the mucky road to the northern realms. His face, however, is not defiant or proud. This is a quiet pain, and Geralt aches in a place he had long thought broken beyond the repair of all charity. 

“I know. Shhh. Hold on to me,” he says. “All in one go.” 

Hands tighten weakly around his arm, and then he sinks Jaskier into the tub.

He doesn’t yell.

He doesn’t yell, but he does whimper – small and vulnerable and a thousand leagues beneath the surface of what he is entitled. 

Geralt pulls his arms away.

“D-don’t g–”

“I’m not.”

Stripping down with stern efficiency, Geralt gets in the tub himself, taking care to not jostle Jaskier. Water spills over the side as he guides Jaskier against his chest, making sure to move his medallion so the sharp angles of the wolf’s head don’t do him harm. It is cramped, and he settles in to cover as much of Jaskier’s surface area with his own body. They sit with their knees bent and peaking out of the water like make-believe islands – an archipelago of muscle and bone.

“How are you feeling?”

Jaskier breaths deeply and leans his face against Geralt’s shoulder. 

“Like I’m b-being poked by a h-hundred n-needles.” 

Geralt draws an arm around Jaskier’s chest, using his other hand to cover one of Jaskier’s knees. 

“Rest.”

“I-I’m so...I shouldn’t h-hav–”

He shakes his head. Jaskier must feel it for he falls silent again.

“Rest.”

***

Jaskier falls asleep in the tub with Geralt wrapped around him like a giant octopus from out of a Skelligan skald. The rhythm of his heart gradually calms to his regular song – almost bird-like by Geralt’s reckoning. Twice he warms the bathwater, content to let his meditation be guided by the measure of Jaskier’s recovery. He wills his own warmth to seep from his skin and through Jaskier’s, and if something else should flow with it, then he reckons he is far too old to be duplicitous now. 

“You needn’t stay on my account.”

Geralt looks down into the wild blue yonder.

“Do you want me to go?” he asks.

The thought sits awkwardly in him, pinching with the discomfort of new shoes. 

“I want you to do what you want to do.”

“Jaskier–”

“Stay,” Jaskier says on the wave of a quiet exhale. Geralt watches the word’s traces whisk across the water and sends a small flicker of flame after it. Steam rises once more, and Jaskier sighs, and it sounds acceptably content.

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better. On the whole, practically divine.”

There’s a snobbish artfulness to Jaskier’s tone now, and Geralt allows himself the press of a smile against Jaskier’s hairline. 

“Better or worse than a weekend with the Countess de Stael?”

“Darling, must you? I’ve quite reached my limit with humiliation for today.” There’s a tightness to his lips as Jaskier speaks, and Geralt frowns.

“Will you tell me why you were on the road, no cloak or lute to be seen?” 

Jaskier looks down, and his scent turns abruptly with embarrassment, smelling faintly like something is burning. 

“I suppose I’ll have to tell you.” He looks up with a tinge of defiance in his eyes, but it’s no hardship for Geralt to keep looking at him. “But you’ll have to earn it first.”

“Oh?”

“Wash my hair?”

There is life in his cornflower blues again, and that is reward enough for any challenge. Without a word, Geralt gets up and out of the tub. Water drips all over the creaky floorboards as he makes for the saddlebags brought up by one of the boys. His nose guides him to a bottle of oil scented with mild lavender, and he picks up a cup on his way back to Jaskier. 

With pink-tinged cheeks, Jaskier watches him climb back in behind him.

“I didn’t mean–”

Geralt huffs. 

“Yes you did. Hush.”

Cup in hand, Geralt guides Jaskier’s head into a tilt and scoops water over his hair, using his other hand to block the water from running into the bard’s eyes.

“You know, telling me to hush really isn’t as charming as your dour self might imagine.”

“Try sitting quietly in the knowledge of being,” Geralt says, feeling his lip twitch with the sort of maddening lack of control that eases into existence whenever Jaskier is around.

“Unbearable. Take that back.”

“Close your eyes.”

Jaskier closes his eyes immediately, and Geralt finds he has to swallow past all his want at the blatant display of trust. He spills some oil into his palms and wonders if Jaskier would let him do this if he knew the true shape of Geralt’s heart. Whole kingdoms believe it to be nonexistent or at the very least shrivelled and decaying. Jaskier thinks different. If he is to be believed, Geralt’s heart is like a honeyed bun – warm and dripping with a sweetness that Geralt knows was exterminated the second he saw Kaer Morhen rise in front of his too-young eyes. Little does Jaskier know that if you were to open Geralt’s chest and break it open past ribs and sinew and hold his heart, you would find it alternatingly smooth like silk chemises and rough with fingertip callouses, beating a rhythm to whatever tune it pleases. 

“Are you alright, darling?”

Jaskier has tilted his head back even further to look at him nearly upside down.

“Sorry,” Geralt mutters, hurrying to start to run his hands through Jaskier’s hair. It is brown and short and soft to the touch. With every turn of his hands, he washes away the smell of Jaskier’s hurt and replaces it with lavender and his own touch.

“Did I say divine before? I must have lost my wits. This is my religion.”

Geralt feels a chuckle rumble up his throat and into the still bedroom air. Eyes closed again, Jaskier seems to settle in on his own terms, and Geralt is more than happy to let him.

“Did you know there was an inventor from the southern continent – further south even than Nilfgaard – who discovered the measurement for density by sitting in a bathtub?”

Jaskier prattles on about mathematics and science and a man running naked down cobbled streets, and Geralt lets the sound of his voice cleanse him of all worries. He finishes washing Jaskier’s hair, and rinses it with the cup. Afterwards, he gathers more oil and settles his hands across Jaskier’s shoulders. There’s a hitch in Jaskier’s throat as Geralt begins to gentle the oil into soft, pale skin.

“G-Geralt?”

Geralt frowns.

“Are you cold again?”

“No.” Jaskier’s voice sounds small.

“May I continue?”

Jaskier’s chest expands with a visible breath.

“Please,” he says, shoulders gaining a healthy dusting of pinkish glow. He starts talking again when Geralt continues to oil his skin, Jaskier moving on to a fevered and slightly panic-tinged monologue about the Cintran sonnet form.

Jaskier’s body is strong beneath him. His skin bears only a few scars from youthful mishaps and a characteristic refusal to be left behind. There is one running length of his back that he earned as a boy slipping down a rocky hill. Another – much smaller – has nicked his ear from when he did not move fast enough away from a drowner’s grasp. Geralt remembers tending to the wound in a furious silence, and he also remembers the apologetic look of abject misery that trailed him for a full week thereafter. It is the longest he has ever heard Jaskier be quiet, and he is grateful the bard has never again felt cause to curb his words in his presence.

I love him, Geralt thinks. 

It’s not the first time he’s thought it, and he knows it will not be the last. He will carry the knowledge with him for however many centuries he may have left, and he will die with its truth glowing in every part of his body – an idea so well lived and nurtured that when his rotting corpse becomes earth once more around him will grow a ring made of dandelions and buttercups.

They have bathed together many times, but though Jaskier washes him after practically every monster fight, Geralt has until now not had the opportunity to return the favour. In the beginning he had no desire to. After that he had no cause to. Now, as he watches Jaskier’s nervous energy dispel at every gentle touch of Geralt’s hand, he thinks that perhaps he’s never needed more cause than that he wishes to. 

Geralt may not have as much experience as Jaskier when it comes to bathing another person, but he finds it comes easy when he thinks of how Jaskier bathes him. He thinks of Jaskier’s hands on him, soothing touches on bruised skin – careful even when minor wounds have long healed. He thinks of clever fingers massaging his neck and back. He thinks of timid motions turning methodical with confidence for every evening spent plucking endrega entrails out of white hair. At Jaskier’s waist, Geralt’s hands still. He thinks of – he thinks of how he himself has only ever given impersonal washes to his brothers, cleaning the necessary wounds and skirting quickly past the groin to everyone’s better happiness. He thinks of two nights ago – on the cusp of their yearly parting – how Jaskier had cleaned his thighs, his hips, the vee of his abdomen… 

He thinks of Jaskier with a washcloth, strong with tender caress between Geralt’s fingers – between Geralt’s toes. 

He thinks of the care and acceptance that saturates every action. 

He thinks Jaskier certainly deserves it. He deserves to have the same love – for love he now realises it is – reflected back at himself with as much willingness and devotion. And for that reason alone he shall have it.

Jaskier’s left knee has a thick scar on it from when he tried to ride Roach without permission and she dumped him in a field.

“Darling? Your face looks very Geralt-y.”

He looks to see Jaskier’s face inches from his own.

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“Brooding? Plotting? Dreaming? I haven’t the foggiest. What are you thinking about?”

“I think our knees look like islands.”

Silence falls save for the occasional sound of a drop of water hitting the now tepid bath and the comforting crackle of the fireplace. Geralt feels Jaskier’s toe twitch next to his own before he shifts, leaning back against Geralt’s chest, and raises his leg straight up into the air.

“I suppose that makes our leg hairs the islanders,” Jaskier says in such perfect sincerity. 

Geralt swallows.

“Where is your lute?”

He feels rather than hears Jaskier’s sigh as he puts his leg back into the water.

“Hopefully still back at the Squealing Pig.”

For a second, Geralt is stunned.

“Wh–”

“I left it–”

“On purpose?” 

Geralt doesn’t think his eyebrows could rise any higher if he willed them to.

“Of course not! Well, perhaps. Not really, though. It’s hard to explain.”

“Explain.”

“You left.”

As if in agreement, they both pause to let that short truth hang in the air like a brightly coloured flag. 

“I left because it’s winter. We always part for winter.”

“I know.”

“You even hugged me goodbye and waved me off.”

“I know.”

“You–”

“I know.” Jaskier digs his forehead into Geralt’s clavicle so hard it hurts, but Geralt finds he has no intention to ever ask him to move. “I know I did, and then I woke the next day, and you were gone, and I felt like something was missing, and then I forgot my lute and my bag and my cloak, and I set off after you.”

There’s a warmth brewing beneath Geralt’s skin, and it ignites at every touchpoint shared between them. 

“And then it snowed,” he says.

“And then it snowed,” Jaskier says, “and it was too late to go back, but I didn’t have my cloak, and I didn’t have my lute so I could play my way to a room. So I kept walking, but it was so cold, and I got lost, and then…”

I love him, Geralt thinks.

“And then you fell asleep in the woods,” Geralt says.

Jaskier rests his hand over Geralt’s heart.

“And then you found me,” he says.

“And you scared me half to death,” Geralt says. 

“And here we are.”

“Hmmm,” Geralt sounds and does not know what to say. Words leap out of Jaskier like pufflballs in a summer breeze, scattering dandelion seeded meaningfulness all across the northern continent. He doesn’t know what to say, and so he gentles his hand down Jaskier’s side, curls his legs up more, and brings Jaskier even closer to him. Jaskier gasps into his neck as Geralt settles him in his lap, and then – slowly, tentatively, achingly – arms come around Geralt’s shoulders. Geralt turns his head and nudges Jaskier’s nose with his own, their foreheads resting together in a pleasure so perfect that where he to die in the morning he would do so with the knoweldge that he knew the touch of happiness. 

Hands caress through his hair and cup the side of his face, a thumb stroking back and forth over his cheek, and he can feel it’s well pruned from the water. Jaskier gasps again, almost as if on a sob, but no tears come.

“Geralt, I–” he croaks, faltering as he draws the knuckles of his right hand up and down Geralt’s neck. “Geralt, I think you’re the most magnificent…” 

He tightens his arms around Jaskier and feels his every breath dance across his lips. 

“I think you’re the most magnificent person I’ve ever met. You’re–” Jaskier laughs and shakes his head so their foreheads rub together. “Geralt, I don’t even have the words, I–”

“I do,” Geralt says.

Jaskier blinks.

“Y–you do?”

I love him, Geralt thinks.

“I love you,” Geralt says, not for a second looking away from Jaskier’s face so that he may see the hope, the surprise, and the happiness write themselves across him like an open book. And here they come, and there they go, and here love is to stay. 

Jaskier makes a noise – relief and desperation all in one – and then cracked lips are on his own, and Geralt kisses back. He kisses soft, he kisses gentle, and he kisses joy. 

“You really did know what to say,” Jaskier laughs.

“Mmm,” Geralt says, kissing him again. 

Jaskier cups his face between both hands. 

“Dear heart, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,” he says and draws breath as if to continue on forever and ever. 

Geralt kisses him one more time, feeling Jaskier’s lips curve up into a helpless smile.

“Not the most complicated rhyme scheme you’ve ever come up with, my lark,” he murmurs. 

“Darling,” Jaskier laughs, “I’ll write you so many songs.”

Liked it? Prompt me!

[lifesupreme-if]

Can i request You're better off without me with Dorothea ?

ok this has been in my inbox for literal MONTHS and i found my response in my drafts and decided to finish it so :3c

___

"I came out here to let you know."

"You drove all the way out here to let me know? What am I supposed to do, just say, 'that's fair, bye then, safe travels'?"

It was meant to be an amicable act, telling her that you were leaving. Something to ease the blow between the two of you, a chance to say your final goodbyes. But the look of shock on her face, the same expression as that of an old loyal dog you've kicked in malice, says otherwise.

"Why are you acting like this? Do you want to say goodbye or not?" You throw your hands to your sides, exasperated.

"Why am I acting like this?," she repeats slowly, dimly, as if processing your words. She stays silent a moment, before reaching to take your sleeve in her hand. When she speaks, her voice is comforting and soft. "Hey, you're scared. I get it. I'm really scared, too, but there's no one I'd rather be scared with. You and I are on the same side, remember?"

Your gaze trails from her hand to her face, meeting a halfhearted, dimpled smile. Though it's meant for your benefit, it only twists the knife deeper. "They don't want you, Dorothea. They just want me, dead. I'm not dragging you into that."

Your voice is hollow. Your chest feels the same way, too.

"I won't let anyone hurt you," she says, hand squeezing tighter around your wrist now. "I love you! You love me, we're a team, everyone here would go to hell and back for you—"

"I don't want them to!" you snap, tearing your arm from her grasp. She yelps in surprise, immediately looking to her empty hand, as if searching for something - no, as if searching for you.

She's hurting, but so are you. It would be so easy to reach out, to accept comfort.

But you can't. It's principle. It must be time to shoo the old, loyal dog away.

You puff up, making yourself seem bigger than you feel. "I don't want that! I don't want people to die for me, I don't want people to get hurt, I just want to get somewhere a million miles away from here!"

She raises her voice in return, slamming a hand on the door of the olive-green pickup you've procured questionably. "We don't have to face anything head-on! Just wait a few hours. We'll have the whole clan packed up, we'll leave together."

"Oh, that sounds great!," you roll your eyes, sarcasm dripping from every word, "Because a whole clan of nomads that they've already had on their shitlist doesn't sound like a target on my back at all."

You gesture outwardly at the camp. "In fact, why don't we just call them up and tell them where the survivors of their last attack scurried off to? Just like roaches. I'm sure they're great exterminators, you lost enough people last time."

The words don't feel true as you say them, and yet you continue to spit venom. "You know what? This is ridiculous. You're ridiculous. I can't wait to be a million miles away from you."

She flinches, and for a moment, you expect a waterfall of tears. The kind of tears that would have you crawling back on your knees, and so you grab the car door handle and pull, eager to put all of this behind you.

A shrill sound. Instead of crying, she's begun screaming. Screaming at the top of her lungs, screaming indiscriminately. And soon, she picks up an empty beer bottle from the ground, throwing it at the truck where your few worldly possessions are packed.

The bottle shatters near to your head. It's your turn to flinch.

"After all of the shit we've done together?" She asks, accusatory. "After all of the shit you've gotten me into, gotten all of us into, and you think you can just run off? Like some kind of coward? You pussy!"

The words sting, but you've never heard her talk this way before. You spin around to face her, met with the face of a raving madwoman.

"You motherfucker," she spits. Her eyes are rimmed with red, as though she means to cry, but her expression doesn't match up. "Called us roaches. Burn in hell, then."

This isn't what you wanted, but you're incensed. Guilt and irritation burn inside of you, gnawing away. "Dorothea, that isn't what I meant," you groan, running your hands back over your head.

"Then what did you mean? You came out here to tell me that you're just running away, and I can't come with. And then you say all of that!" She throws her hands up. "What am I supposed to think you meant?" she asks softly, voice cracking.

"I just meant-" you breathe for a moment, covering your face in your hands. Your shoulders fall as you heave a sigh, bringing your tone down.

"I just meant that you're better off without me."

Her boot crunches against the sand as she takes a step closer to you, and you feel the gentle brush of her fingertips against your arm. You peek through a crack in your fingers, enough to see her wrapping you in her arms before you feel it. "We're already in this for the long run. I'd rather be worse off with you than lose you."

She may have signed her death warrant with those words, and you might be the one who issued her the papers. But her warmth is comforting, her love is comforting, and you melt into her embrace in an instant, burying your face into her shoulder. "I'm sorry. We'll figure this out together."

"That's right, we will," she coos, rubbing your back. "By the way," she asks, whispering. "Where did you get the truck?"

"Stole it."

"We should probably return that after this."