#for those of you who are feeling ambitious and want to try to create or ask around for art of those characters

[transgenderswagcompetitions]

Sorry for the extended delay! The move has been a bit more taxing than I thought. I'll arrive at my new home on Thursday and should start working on the bracket and setting up prelims by Friday, and hopefully have the bracket posted by Saturday with prelims starting either on Sunday or Monday.

In the meantime, if you've submitted a character that doesn't have any official art, I would appreciate if you could try to either find an existing piece of fanart and ask the creator if it can be used in the tournament (with credit, of course), or create or use your own fanart (which will also be used with credit). I really like having pictures of the characters when making battle edits, but only a few of the submitted characters have official art. No worries if this isn't possible, though, I'll just use the book cover if no fanart is submitted!

[ezukll]

♡ STELLIUM OBSERVATIONS

🔥 FIRE STELLIUM

Having a fire stellium is a powerful and dynamic energy. You may have a very strong internal fire, and this can make you extremely ambitious, passionate, and driven. You may have a strong desire to do things your way, to make things happen, and to create a spark or ignite something within others. It can also give you a strong sense of purpose and direction. It can give you the energy, drive, and will power to push through anything.

♈︎ ARIES STELLIUM

Having an Aries stellium can indicate that you are a very independent and self-contained person. You may have a strong sense of your identity and have a strong sense of your personal power. You may be naturally self-motivated, a go-getter, and extremely determined. You are likely to have a strong self-belief that you can achieve anything.

♌︎ LEO STELLIUM

Having a Leo Stellium indicates that you have a very strong and powerful sense of self. You likely have a strong sense of pride, self-belief, and authority. You may be a natural leader who has a strong need to take charge and to make things happen. You may have an innate desire to be the center of attention and to take the spotlight. You may have a strong need to be respected and admired.

♐︎ SAGITTARIUS STELLIUM

Having a Sagittarius Stellium suggests that you are a very independent, adventurous, and driven person. You are likely to have a strong sense of self-belief and self-confidence. You want to explore and try new things, and you have a relentless passion and an openness to new experiences. You have a strong sense of ambition and a need to pursue personal growth and your own interests. You likely have a strong desire for freedom and independence and may feel restricted if you feel confined or held back.

🌳 EARTH STELLIUM

Having an Earth Stellium brings a very strong grounding energy to your personality. Your Earthy side thrives on stability, routine, and physical comforts. You appreciate and thrive on stability and predictability. You likely find a sense of comfort and balance in being in a routine or a consistent environment. You may have a strong need for security and comfort, and you may find joy and satisfaction in small, everyday things. You may also be very grounded, steady, and stable in yourself and in the choices you make.

♉︎ TAURUS STELLIUM

With a Taurus Stellium, you likely have a strong emotional core and a deep need for security and stability. You may find the grounding nature of Taurus comforting, and you likely have a strong foundation in your life that brings a sense of stability and a feeling of emotional safety. You may also have a strong need for physical and material comforts and may value material possessions and resources. You may have some difficulty with change and may prefer to stick to what you know and what feels familiar.

♍︎ VIRGO STELLIUM

With a Virgo Stellium, you likely have a very strong sense of self-awareness and self-analysis. You may have a tendency to overthink and overanalyze everything, including yourself. You may have a deep desire to be precise and accurate, and you may feel a strong need to be in control of all aspects of your life. You may have to strive for self-balance and balance in all areas of life. You may find yourself feeling stressed and anxious when things are not neatly organized or when there is uncertainty.

♑︎ CAPRICORN STELLIUM

Having a Capricorn Stellium gives you a very strong sense of responsibility and a deep-seated drive to achieve success and status. You may have a very strong work ethic and a need to strive for higher achievements. You are likely to have a strong sense of maturity and stability in yourself. You may have a strong need for authority, control, and a strong sense of discipline. You may have a strong desire to be recognized and respected for your accomplishments. You may also have a strong need to protect and care for others, especially those you are close to.

🌬 AIR STELLIUM

Air Stellium brings a very cerebral vibe, with strong focus on communication, knowledge, and ideas. You likely have a very curious and analytical mind. You may have a strong desire for knowledge and new experiences, but you may also have a strong need for logic and rationality. You may feel like an observer or a thinker rather than a feeler. You may have a strong inner dialogue and a tendency to dissect and analyze everything internally. You may feel a strong attraction toward mental stimulation.

♊︎ GEMINI STELLIUM

A Gemini Stellium indicates a very dynamic and flexible energy, with a strong desire for freedom and a tendency to adapt and shift gears quickly. You likely enjoy a good debate and a lively conversation. You may feel a strong need to be connected to others and to the outside world but also be very independent and self-reliant. You may enjoy being social but also enjoy having plenty of alone time to think and process.

♎︎ LIBRA STELLIUM

With a Libra Stellium, you likely have a very strong need for balance and harmony. You may feel comfortable in groups and may enjoy a mix of perspectives and opposing viewpoints. You may have a tendency to avoid conflict and to seek peaceful resolutions. You may be very focused on your interpersonal relationships and want to ensure that things are fair and equal. You likely have a tendency to be compassionate, empathic, and to see the best in people.

♒︎ AQUARIUS STELLIUM

A strong Aquarius Stellium may indicate a very individualistic and quirky approach to life. You have a strong need for independence and a tendency to be creative and inventive in your approach to life. You likely have a strong desire to push boundaries and to challenge norms and conventions. You may have a strong belief in your own unique ideas and perspectives. You may see yourself as an outsider or a non-conformist. You may also have a strong desire to be part of a community and to connect with others who share a similar outlook on life.

💧 WATER STELLIUM

A Water Stellium indicates a very deep and emotional side to your personality, with a strong tendency to feel things deeply and strongly. You likely have a very sensitive and compassionate nature, with a strong empathy for others. You may also have a strong connection to the spiritual and the soulful. You may feel a deep connection to nature, animals, or the beauty of life in general. You may also have a strong tendency to be affected by the emotions and energy of those around you.

♋︎ CANCER STELLIUM

With a Cancer Stellium, you are likely to bring a very deep sense of compassion, empathy, and warmth to the table. You likely have a very strong sense of nurture and desire to care for others. You may find yourself being very intuitive and emotionally perceptive of others' needs and emotions. You may have a strong tendency to take on other people's feelings and to take on a nurturing or mothering role. You may also have a strong connection to your family and an emotionally bonded and protective nature, with a strong focus on home and family.

♏︎ SCORPIO STELLIUM

With a Scorpio Stellium, you bring a deep and powerful energy to the table. You likely have a strong sense of intuition and insight into the hidden depths and mysteries of life. You may also have a deep connection to the spiritual and the occult. You may also be a very deep and transformative person who can see into the darker aspects of life and who can explore and transform the deepest and most challenging parts of the human experience. You may have a very unique and powerful perspective on life.

♓︎ PISCES STELLIUM

With a Pisces Stellium, you bring a deep emotional and spiritual energy to the table. You likely have a strong connection to the spiritual world and a deep sense of sensitivity to the suffering of others. You may have a tendency to feel overwhelmed by the weight of the world and to get lost in your feelings. You may have a deep artistic or creative side, and you may enjoy expressing yourself in expressive and artistic ways. You may have a strong sense of compassion and a great capacity for empathy and understanding.

[valictini]

People be like "it's OK to take a break from everything!!" without realising that it's not a break for fans who were following the french ccs. It's a permanent leave.

Like, imagine that your favorite egg(s) and cc(s) left because of mismanagement overnight. Really, imagine it for a second. Your faves don't show up anymore. Quackity doesn't even acknowledge they're gone despite the fault lying on his studio. Imagine having to "take a break" after that. Truly put yourself in our shoes for a second.

You need to realise that right now, "Taking a break" feels more like "accepting that we're being kicked out without a word"

It is. Deeply. Deeply. Frustrating. Especially since the problems in question were consistently pointed out by fans and ccs.

Also, for the record, I DID try to take a break. And then literally the next day Pomme's and Dapper's admins left. So yeah I'm done waiting. I want solutions to the problems we've been screaming about for months.

If not for us, then at least for the rest of you.

Sorry if you think im being impatient. That i don't give Quackity enough grace. But the problem with the integration of the french community started day one. It's normal for us fans to assume the best, to assume that surely, those were just one-off errors and that they were being resolved behind the scene. But it's not normal for Quackity to do the same.

How tf did Quackity let it slide for so long without investigating the cause? Did he even notice/care that we were consistently left out? How did he not know that Lumi was the only french admin on the team? Why did he seemingly not talk to any of the admins in private even ONCE in an entire year ?

Say what you want, that he's young, that he's overwhelmed, that he never managed such a big team, that he blindly trusted the management he put in place, all that is true... but that doesn't erase the fact that he himself took these risks. It's his own fault for creating such an ambitious server without the necessary skills to oversee every aspect of it. And im sorry if his mental health takes a toll because of this situation but it is NOT hate to point these facts out.

[nayatarot777]

What Does Your Inner-Child Think Of You? • Pick-a-Card

• Pile One •

Your inner-child views you as someone who’s quite complete within themselves. That you’ve created a good life for yourself thanks to your sweet energy. For those with children, they view your family as extremely beautiful. They’re extremely happy about the life that you’ve created for the both of you. They also view you as a go-getter. Someone who’s very ambitious and eager to get what you want, which they like a lot. There’s also something here about your thought processes and your communication. I’m hearing that they feel as though you can easily disarm people who may try to overpower you in conversations. They love your wit and your quick responses that you give to people sometimes. You’re very swift at asserting your opinions, and if this is something that your inner-child struggled with, they see you as a very admirable older version of themselves.

They view you to be very combative when needed. You’re a fighter in some way. You had to fight to assert physical actions towards your goals because there were people around you constantly trying to assert their opinions over them. But you managed to defend your goals and personal beliefs and went after them regardless. There’s a repetition of you being very comfortable in your life in this present moment, all thanks to your assertive nature. And they also like the people who you keep yourself around too. Your support system or a community that you’ve found yourself in. They admire how you can move with facts more than feelings. Not through suppressing your emotions but having complete control over them. Regardless of the way that you feel, they believe that you can still manage to see the truths of people and situations.

Extended Reading: What Would Your Inner-Child Like To Tell You?

Where To Find It:

Kofi (Individual Reading Purchase)

Patreon (Soul Tribe Advanced Tier)

• Pile Two •

They view you as someone with a lot of responsibility that can burden you at times. Someone who everyone comes to for help or advice. You’re extremely patient and caring, which they assume is the reason for this. However, I do believe that they think that this may all be too much for you a lot of the time. They view you as someone who has made catering to others their duty, while sacrificing themselves in the process. I’m hearing that they see people leach off of you. Specifically your nurturing energy because you’re so loving. People suck your energy dry and they don’t like it. They feel like this puts you at a standstill within your own life. Blocking your ability to build your own stability. They view you as someone who forgets about their own foundation to be a foundation to others.

They view you as a very strong mother figure. A motherly energy to others as well as whatever abundance you’d like to build for yourself. However, they do think that this makes you a target of people who want to take from you and not give anything back. To them, you’re someone who has boundaries that are easily knocked over by what people say to you. Things that they say so that they can get access to your energy. And they view you as someone who’s easily defeated in conversation when people want to cause verbal conflict for you, simply because you try to assert your own opinions finally. They believe that you’re very easily silenced by others. There’s also a lot of mental defeat that you experience from your own conflicting thoughts about people who you’ve lost. You always seem to think that you just didn’t give these people enough love, without acknowledging the blind spot regarding how they were draining your energy as much as possible. I feel like even your inner child can see your motivations for taking on so many responsibilities for other people - and they believe that it’s because this is the way that you try to prevent people from leaving you. Even if they couldn’t really put this into their own words if they had to, they can see that you’re not respected by people because you don’t respect your own boundaries. That your care and work for other people isn’t respected. And that you don’t really respect yourself and what you need.

Extended Reading: What Would Your Inner-Child Like To Tell You?

Where To Find It:

Kofi (Individual Reading Purchase)

Patreon (Soul Tribe Advanced Tier)

• Pile Three •

Your inner-child views you as someone who’s an extremely good friend/partner. Someone who has genuine connections with others because you have a genuine connection with yourself. They also view you as someone who has very high standards for yourself as well as anyone who comes into your life. Not in a toxic way that puts unnecessary pressure on yourself or others. These high standards are here because you know what you do and don’t deserve from others, and you know what others do and don’t deserve from you. You’re a big visionary in relation to who you want to be, what type of people you want around you, and the type of life that you want to create. They also feel like you have a very strong connection with them too. They view you as someone who takes good care of them. These high standards are also here because you’re adamant on protecting what you’ve already manifested for yourself. Your stable foundation within self and your physical life too. You’re not letting anyone mess that up 😂.

They see your extremely strong boundaries with other people. Especially in relationships. It’s like you’re trailblazing through life by going after new opportunities and discovering new inspirations to follow, so if someone who you meet can’t fit into what you visualise for your life, then they’re not allowed within it. They view you as someone who also has created a happy foundation for either your home, your personal projects, or both. You’re someone who’s all about living life happily, finding things to celebrate, and working with others who are on the same wavelength as you to build a happy life together. They also think that you’re very welcoming to to other people. You could be a great host for others when they visit your home, or you’re just very welcoming to the right people when they come into your life. You’re willing to share your stability and what you value in your life with those who you feel deserve it.

Extended Reading: What Would Your Inner-Child Like To Tell You?

Where To Find It:

Kofi (Individual Reading Purchase)

Patreon (Soul Tribe Advanced Tier)

[kalki-tarot]

YOU KNOW THEY DON'T LIKE YOU, SO WHY DO YOU KEEP THE HOPE ALIVE ? 🍷

Pick a picture that attracts you the most ♡

TAP ON MASTERLIST FOR MORE 🍓

This is an intuitive tarot reading and it is just for entertainment purposes. I am not responsible for any actions or decisions taken by anyone on behalf of this reading as tarot is not 100% true all the times.

Read this with an open mind and let go of whatever doesn't serve you.

PILE 1.

Confirmations or signs : blue or white birds, peace symbols, refrigerators, black umbrella, red color, K, S, G, Sun, F, Cathedral, Catherine, Karina, Karen, Kaliber, back n white, kanye west

The reality of this person you're holding onto is very obvious to you. They are someone money minded and look out for material things in life mostly, they are too invested in their career and building a weath right now. They are someone who has no clarity or clear vision in life. They sort of run after material things, and they sre working hard for these material things. To be honest, they don't have any time for you and you will be victimized in this connection if you stay any longer. They are someone childish and not meant for you.

Let's get to the point that why are you still holding onto them? You feel this little spark with them. You feel hopeful about this connection even though it's not headed anywhere and you are accepting the breadcrumbs babe. You literally don't realize your worth I'm sorry if I'm too straightforward but it is what it is. You don't like to see yourself winning is that it? No? Then stop believing into false hopes and delusions bestie. This is the only way i have to tell you this. Like stop! You are disrespecting yourself by acting like that. You are the only one working hard in this connection and they r not even reciprocating shit. Well, i see that you have a cycle of meeting people who don't reciprocate what you give in to build up a relationship but eventually you have to walk away because they don't live up to your expectations or they don't invest as much as you're investing in. The universe is trying to teach you that you should know when to stop and walk away if people don't care about your efforts bestie. You will repeat this cycle unless you realize your worth and take your power back!

PILE. 2

Confirmations or signs : lamp posts, yellow/golden flames, Army, Police, J, S, M, N, F, G, sun, moon, stars, shimmer & shine, ticking clocks, weirdo, joker

The person you are asking about is very ambitious and hardworking. They have a set vision for how their life should be or how much they should achieve before this particular age they hit. They want to create something of their own and to be honest you are nowhere in this picture. They don't really care about love and relationships that much. Also, this person may try to mould you they way they want you to be, they won't be as accepting of you. You know those people who have a fixed type of person to marry and they would try to make you become what they would like to see and not the actual you. This person is very superficial and it's hard to change them. They are very stubborn.

The truth about this person is that u won't be emotionally fulfilled by them and you'll end up walking away. Ask yourself "Are u just clinging onto them only because of the fear of being left out?" This person will be very hot and cold towards you. And you have this tendency to attract these kind of people into you life. Do you crave validation? Don't work hard for them, don't waste your energy manifesting them. They are not meant for you :( They would cause you more harm than good. You'll hurt yourself. First fix your unhealthy tendencies and fill yourself with self love. Then try to manifest a loving and stable partner.

[porcelainseashore]

Teenage Headache Dreams (1)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: High School! College! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Fem! Reader

Summary: You’re a bored, but ambitious high school student who can’t wait to escape small town life and make it in the big city. You thought you had it all figured out, until you unwittingly befriend the resident golden boy, Leon. A series of events beginning from junior year to college until Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Ambiguous/Open Ending

Content: High School AU, College AU, Pre-Resident Evil 2, Fluff, Romance, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lack of Communication

Author's Note: This is my first RE / Leon fic, but I wanted to try my hand at writing this little self-indulgent and potentially clichéd series. As you can guess, I love dance and high school dramas. I also created this with a sequel in mind, which will take place post-RE4R and involve more horror and mystery elements.

AO3 Link

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Friendship

It was one of those beautiful late summer days with endless light and clear blue skies overhead. You leaned back against the bleachers, feeling the sun cast a warm glow on your face and the sultry breeze against your skin, sighing in utter bliss. The football field and the running track surrounding it were completely empty, just how you liked it, silent except for the relentless trilling of insects and the occasional bird that flew by. No one in your face, no one judging you or telling you how you should be like, no one you had to put up a front for. Just peace and quiet. A place where you could sit alone with your thoughts - and you had a lot of them - mostly about leaving this goddamn small town with its insular, mind-numbing inhabitants.

A trail of thick smoke wafted from your mouth as you took a drag from the joint you had been nursing for awhile. You weren’t exactly high as a kite, but you were definitely feeling some of its effects. You chuckled and gave a wry smile as the thought of being caught red-handed visualized in your mind. Sure, it was highly illegal what you were doing, much less on school property, but you were always a bit of a rebel. And frankly, you couldn’t give a shit. It was already August, but most students were still away on holiday. Not you though, you had to work on your extracurriculars. That’s what you had put your mind to this summer. No fancy beach getaways like the rest of your cheerleading mates had jetted off to. Just a grueling dance intensive and showcase you had auditioned successfully for in one of the larger cities nearby, as well as a bunch of campus visits. You needed to perfect your performance technique for that arts college application coming up in about a year’s time. You started way earlier than the rest even thought about it, because you knew you only had one chance for a one-way ticket out of this hole and you sure as hell weren’t taking any chances. Well, except with that funky smelling thing in your hand. 

No one would be here anyway, it’s a Sunday for crying out loud! You shook your head in exasperation. Besides, you needed to relax and take the edge off a little.

Just as if you jinxed it with those thoughts, you heard the gate to the field unlocking and creaking open behind you. 

Shit, shit, shit! Your eyes darted around frantically, but your movements were just so slow. Why the fuck would someone be here now?

Before you could drop the joint and stub it out with your shoe, a mop of dirty blonde hair and what you made out as someone dressed in a blue tracksuit with a duffel bag slung over his right shoulder entered your peripheral vision. It was soon accompanied by a sharp twist of his head in your direction, bangs falling over his deep blue eyes and you knew he had found the source of the offending smell, probably even from a mile away. His gaze trailed their way from your startled face to your joint hanging limply at the edge of your fingers and then back to your face again. His expression turned from confusion to a frown and then into a knowing smirk as he crossed his arms and leaned against the bleachers.

“Oh, hello. Didn’t expect to see you here. You got cheer practice or something?”

God, he was teasing you. At least you hoped that was all it was and not some form of blackmail. Well, no point hiding now.

“I’m off-duty,” you retorted. You tried to jog your memory of the boy standing in front of you. You were social, or at least you had to be with the rest of your girlfriends to keep up appearances, but you never really bothered with the people here beyond superficial conversations. Then you finally found it - a vague recollection of last season’s track and field meet. He had been one of the better sprinters, maybe the best even, you can’t really remember. There was an afterparty, and you congratulated him, but you doubt there was anything more substantive than that.

“Leon, isn’t it?”

His eyes perked up slightly and he smiled. “In the flesh.”

You snorted at his cheesy reply. What was he pulling? 

“They gave you the key?” It almost sounded as if you were jealous.

He uncrossed his arms and placed his duffel bag on one of the benches in front of him, rummaging through its contents. “Yeah, I got a comp in the new term coming up.” Every now and then he glanced up at you, as if he wanted to ask something, but stopped himself.

A sense of boldness surged within you, as you felt like evening the odds a bit. “What? You want some?” You waved the joint in his face.

That certainly caught his attention. He stared for a good moment, before giving another one of his playful smiles and shaking his head. “Maybe after practice.” He unzipped his jacket and put it away. It was warm enough to train in his sports tank and as you admired the lean, muscular structure of his arms and shoulders now bared open, you couldn’t complain.

“So, how did you get in?”

Fuck. You snapped out of your reverie. He got you there, but you didn’t feel like lying. “Jumped the fence. You should try it some time.” You replied as nonchalantly as possible.

“Didn’t know you had it in you,” he laughed.

“Oh, you’d be surprised.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Will I now?” The way it rolled off his tongue felt like a challenge and you secretly enjoyed this banter going on between you, as if you had known each other for years.

Shrugging your shoulders, you took another hit from the joint and let the calmness envelope you. “I never disappoint.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Leon flashed a wide grin that made you feel a knot forming in your stomach, but you didn’t know why. 

He started to move towards the tracks, but stopped short, turning back to meet your eyes again. “Look, you don’t have to worry about all of that.” He gestured to what you were holding and the general surroundings. “I’m not going to tell.” With that, he made a sign that resembled crossing his heart. “It’ll be between you and me.” 

You would have thought it was a joke if not for the sincere look he gave you, before heading off to train. That, and the fact that he did indeed take up your offer to join you afterwards in sharing what was left of the joint. You didn’t expect someone like him to. He seemed a bit too much of a straight-laced, golden boy for that. But then again, life was filled with surprises and you quietly scolded yourself for playing into stereotypes again - something you despise others doing to you.

It prompted both of you to converse even more until the late evening where you even missed your dinner. The questions and responses just flowed.

It turned out that you would share a number of classes together in the new term, specifically Math, History and Biology. Leon was a real earful when it came to his “insightful” one-liners on the teachers, which made you bury your head in your hands and groan. You never realized he would be such a goofball, but you found it somewhat endearing.

Like you, he was popular at school, but unlike you, he seemed to enjoy the company and appeared to be an open book. He would say it how it is, sometimes to the point of being blunt to a fault. Still, you guessed people found him rather easy-going and likable, in a non-threatening sort of a way. A part you wondered if chance meetings like today were how he made most of his friends.

Leon didn’t really have a plan for college yet. He just knew he wanted to do something good and help other people. You had a word for it - “idealistic”. He just shrugged in response, eyes downcast, until you assured him that it was an admirable quality, and you were the jaded one. He made a toast to your future in some arts college in the big city with his water bottle, remarking with a hint of self-deprecation that he wished he had a clearer idea of what he wanted to do with his life.

In turn, he asked you about your dealer. You had to stifle a laugh at that one. Generally, you weren’t as big into smoking up as he thought, but this time you bummed it off one of the seniors as a favor he owed you for hooking him up with one of your cheerleader friends. It didn’t stop Leon from calling you the “high school’s little pothead” every now and then though. He peered at you intently with his lip curled in amusement, as you rolled your eyes each time.

It had been such a long time since you could joke and speak your mind with someone this way. There wasn’t that suffocating nausea of pretending to be someone else around him and he had been so relaxed with you too. You could finally breathe again, and you’d like to think it wasn’t just the weed talking.

Whatever it was, you guessed this was the beginning of a real friendship - one that happened out of serendipity, but made you feel like you weren’t going to rot away in this small town. Well, not alone anyway.

[thevirgodoll]

Doll Diaries: 10 Ways to Begin Living the Doll Life.

To introduce my brand and my mission, I have created the first guide on how to Live the Doll Life.

This is the first of many posts to build around what a Doll means.

This is a compilation of all of my advice from past posts, my values and things I recommend aspiring to. It's an initiation of some sorts, and will be a sneak peek to what my website and Patreon will entail. This covers who you want to be (your ideal self), who you are right now (your current self), your measure of confidence and value (your worth), and your reality of who you are (your traits and individuality).

Welcome to the Dollhouse!!!

A huge part of what made me choose "Doll" as a brand is the movie, Life Size (2000).

In Life Size, Eve stood up for what was right, was ambitious, and learned how to honor her feelings as a real person. I highly recommend giving it a watch (I haven't seen the second movie, only referencing the first) to really get a feel of the energy I want to cultivate and embody. Now, let's get into it!

1. Embrace everything you already are.

Just because you are in a pursuit of becoming someone new does not mean you have to discard the things that make you who you are. Embracing who you already are and who you were is key to building self confidence. Who you are now is worthy of love and gratitude.

Ask yourself:

What can I forgive myself for?

What are my current strengths and weaknesses?

How can I show myself gratitude today?

2. Love people and speak life into them.

A true Doll does not engage in taking other women down. The biggest issue in today's world is that negativity has become a hot commodity. It is so insidious once it gets started, and it has been normalized to tear other people down in shady, subtle comments. These things bear no fruit. Understand now that talking badly about people and hating them only increases their sun.

What makes the difference between a Doll and another person is that everything she says has a purpose. Before speaking ask yourself:

Is this necessary? Is this true?

What do I gain from saying this?

Would I want to hear this?

These questions will make you distinguish between feelings and facts. You may not even know why you don't like someone at first, but asking yourself critical questions will teach you to see things from a different perspective. Most of the time, this has taught me to keep certain things to myself! If you don't know what you feel yet, the best thing to do is be quiet. It really is true that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. ***There are obviously exceptions to the rule, such as emotional abuse, bullying, etc. Defend yourself. Just don't be the one to be a catalyst to someone's downfall.

3. Be a student of life.

In this Dollhouse, we are eager to learn!!! If you want to lead others, you have to be willing to admit that you can be wrong. Even though Dolls are well adored and well educated, we aren't always right. Well, a lot of the time I am, but that's not the point!

Ask yourself:

What is this trying to teach me? What can I take away from this?

When was the last time I opened my mind to something new?

What could I have done differently? If I am resistant to feedback or change in this present moment, why?

4. Take pride in your appearance.

We aren't perfect...but we might as well be the closest thing to it. Make the decision now that you want to look your best every day. This doesn't mean wearing a full face of makeup 24/7, but this does mean being put together. A Doll should never leave the house without looking presentable, and if this is difficult, it's time for a change! Remember in The Princess Diaries when Mia got a makeover to become a princess? She looked like a completely different person and all it took was a new routine in beauty maintenance.

Obviously, you don't have to go to the extremes like she did. There's nothing wrong with glasses, thick curly hair, or thick eyebrows. It's all about making those things cohesive, which is the point of the makeover. I suggest you go on Pinterest or other platforms to find inspiration for what you want to look like. Create a routine around looking your best for YOU...only you know what flatters you the most.

Ask yourself:

What do I feel when I look in the mirror?

What influences me? What does a Doll look like to me?

What would a physical change do for me right now? And why am I doing it?

5. Have people in your life that align with you.

Friends can inspire us, or derail us. It is extremely hard as you get older to sustain friendships because once you leave grade school, there aren't any commonalities keeping you around people you know. Sometimes, we hang onto people longer than we need to.

A verse from the Bible that I often keep in mind regarding friends is Proverbs 12:26:

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Ask yourself:

Would I take advice from this person? Why or why not?

What are the pros and cons of having this person around? How do I feel after hanging out with them?

What do they do for me? Is this reciprocal or transactional?

Is this person bringing me closer to or further away from my dreams, goals, and aspirations? Do they value what I value?

During conflict, how has this friend treated me? Do I trust them? Can I go to them when I need them?

As far as relationships, that is different for everyone but the questions are relatively the same. Some people stop their entire journey towards becoming the woman of their dreams because of love. Guard your heart!!!

Ask yourself:

Does this person align with my beliefs and values? Have I vetted them to see what type of person they are?

How does this person take care of themselves spiritually, mentally, and physically?

What is their story? Is this person aware of that story (whether it's with family, exes, friends, etc.)?

What can they offer me that I cannot give to myself?

Why do I want to be with this person?

6. Truly begin to believe you ARE 1 of 1.

Everyone is different, especially you. Your energy is highly sought after, all you have to do is acknowledge that. In order to live this lifestyle, you gotta appreciate differences in people around you so you can avoid guilting yourself into assimilation/conformity.

Individuality is everything... don't trade that for the approval of others. Social media has revealed how much originality women lack... so be a breath of fresh air. Think of this as Miley Stewart becoming her alter ego, Hannah Montana. The best way to see the new you is a alter ego. Celebrities have used alter egos to embody a side of them that is full of tenacity and candor...basically what they wish they could be. Real life examples are: Sasha Fierce (Beyoncé), Roman (Nicki Minaj).

The arc of an alter ego comes full circle. At some point in the Hannah Montana franchise, Miley came to terms that she lacked nothing in being who she really was because the star power was already in her. Therefore, she let her go and embodied those qualities in herself as "Miley". After hard work it will be the same for you, and you will appreciate who you are even more and not have to separate the two.

Ask yourself:

Who am I? What makes me special?

What do I love most about myself?

What is my signature and aesthetic?

What are the qualities of my alter ego/archetype?

7. Be a woman of substance.

It's useless to work towards being an it girl if you have nothing to talk about. So many women have star quality on the outside, but they are surface level and it prevents them from being seen positively and it takes away their chance of being an it girl.

Learn about current events. Learn about past events. Learn about events that are yet to come, and form an opinion.

You have Google at your disposal, so there's really no excuse to be lazy. Find your passion...most people are empty because they don't do anything they love. Be well versed in multiple topics. I know we say beauty and brains, but it really is hard to come by these days. Most people do not read anymore, nor do they take the time out to learn things themselves.

When it comes to school, that counts as substance as well if you're actually taking classes you're getting something out of (which is a whole other post). I would be remiss if I did not mention that education isn't for everyone. But for those of you that are going to college or are in college like me, this is one of the most important stages of your life. You're on the cusp of greatness. Life happens, but no matter what, we gotta get that degree no matter how long it takes.

Ask yourself:

What's going on in the world right now?

When is the last time I read a book or did something educational?

What are my hobbies? What are my habits? How do these things speak to my intelligence and who I am?

What are the things I want out of my education and what are my goals for this upcoming semester?

8. Dedicate time to your healing.

Just because everything looks perfect, doesn’t mean it will always be that way. This journey towards being that girl will not get rid of your need to heal.

Healing is a rugged path that one must travel their entire life...your journey in becoming the person of your dreams never ends. Give yourself grace on things that you didn't know before.

As always, I recommend journaling to understand your thought process. Sometimes, I look back at my entries in my diary and realize that things weren't as bad as they seemed. Sometimes, though, they were...and for my healing process it became crucial to (when I have the capacity) revisit the moments that shaped my perspective.

I know everyone says this, but there no shame in getting help. No amount of Doll Diaries I give you or confidence lessons/advice from others will matter if you are ignoring what fills your heart with dread at night. Like Megan thee Stallion says, bad b*tches have bad days too.

I am in therapy and I take medications for my mental illnesses, and that made all the difference. Tips are in my mental health tag.

I recommend a spiritual routine that works for you. This may include meditating, praying, going to church, taking quiet time...it's all up to you, but it gives me purpose and structure when feeling existential.

Dedicate life to something bigger than yourself. Remain on the path by upkeeping discipline. Outside influences can lead you astray, but you are the difference between stumbling and getting up, and stumbling and remaining flat on your face. This will involve giving up certain things, such as music or shows or even people that push you further away from what you believe in.

Lastly, have a list of coping mechanisms that you review in crisis. Often, things get overwhelming and we won’t get the chance to sit down and journal or go read something. With that, it’s helpful to make a list of things that you know will help you cope and survive no matter what (while acknowledging the absence of these means you’re getting bad again.)

Here is a very small portion of my list:

cleaning my space

spending time with my dog

playing video games

writing, drawing, music

Ask yourself:

When's the last time I had a break without feeling guilty or lazy?

What positive practices do I have in place to keep me stable? What negative practices do I have in place that prevent me from being stable?

How am I currently working towards improving my mental state? What do I know about myself mentally and spiritually, and how can I use that to transcend?

9. Learn the art of detachment.

People talk about being unbothered, but I don't think everyone truly understands what that means. In this Dollhouse, unbothered does not mean being nonchalant and void of all emotions. Feelings are natural, and I am not sure where someone mixed that up. What creates "unbothered" energy and "detachment" is by realizing you cannot control everything and that majority of the time, it isn't personal. This is one of the hardest lessons out there.

Ask yourself:

Is this really in my control?

How can I focus on the present moment?

And ultimately, remember you cannot fix or please anyone. Keep your composure even in the face of negativity. Your reactions and perceptions to everything you deal with is the most important thing, and will be the common denominator when it comes down to your experiences. Two books I read that changed my perspective and helped me maintain this lifestyle on this was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty.

10. Above all, live in YOUR world!!!

Make your world exclusive. Keep certain things for yourself so it retains sacredness. Be your own best friend before anyone else. Learn to embrace your own company. Don't always be accessible. Cultivate richness in your life...be willing to take risks and have a variety of experiences.

The main and most important question to ask yourself is: What does my dream world look like?

This is where the Doll Life comes into play. Barbie was marketed as being an all around sweetheart and "girl boss" with the dream life. Bratz were marketed as having individuality and a dream world experience driven by passion.

Both have core values in making sure young girls dreamed big and remained authentic. Honorable mention: Disney, as they did a great job at emphasizing dreams can come true with Disney princesses.

What I want my version of a Doll Life to be marketed as is a world where we indulge in endless possibilities and be multiple versions of ourselves at once. Where we feel like something wonderful could happen, even in the midst of trials.

We can be gentle, yet demanding. We can be feminine with masculine energy, and vice versa. We don't have to choose between one aesthetic or the other. We don't have to conform to the world, because we are in it and not of it. Dolls are seen as "perfect", and that's just the thing, I don't want my brand to be a cookie cutter definition! That's why I say I am the Doll that no one can play with. To be a Doll means to be uniquely you and standing out amongst the rest. It's a mindset, it's a lifestyle.

Don't box yourself in... remember growing up the dream life of Bratz and Barbie refused to box themselves in and remained true to themselves. Live without limits!!! Dreams really can come true. And this Dollhouse is a safe space to DREAM!!!

Even if you don't believe it now, day by day, if you start dedicating yourself to this and remain congruent with your philosophy, you will be more than you could ever imagine. It took so much time for me to do this, but my life is forever changed. So indulge in your wishes, and create your own "life of luxury" or "dream world". Simply live by YOUR rules, and use mine as a outline to get started. I can't wait to see what all of you come up with. I hope this helps Dolls!!! *gives you the keys to your suite in the dollhouse* Proud of you!!!

xoxo,

thevirgodoll ♡

see also:

confidence tag

other doll diaries

advice

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 18th of May, 2024

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 18th of May, 2024

Question: Does The King see Harry as a threat?

Interpretation: No. He sees Prince William as a threat.

Card One: The Emperor in reverse

The Emperor is the card of the leader, of stability, structure, authority and protection. It is the ultimate father figure. It is also my card for Charles in his role as King, and not as a father/brother/uncle etc.

In the reverse, the Emperor indicates someone who is stubborn, domineering/bullying, and rigid in their beliefs. It indicates an abuse of authority. The Emperor in reverse seeks domination and rigid control. He forgets his role to do what is best for his people. The structures, rules and systems that he created are no longer working for him, and may be working against him.

This card is giving me the energy of someone who feels threatened. The King is trying to make things go the way he wants them to go, and it is not working. All his tricks - PR and otherwise - are not giving him the results he desires. He feels threatened and overshadowed, insecure in his role as King, and nothing he is doing is changing that situation. The Emperor in reverse tells me that whatever his public face, in private The King is acting out the shadow side of Kingship - being autocratic, caring only for his own desires, putting his will above all etc. I don't know the specifics, but the energy is of someone who feels very threatened and who feels that the situation is out of their control, and they are responding from the shadow side of their position, i.e. acting like a bad king instead of a good king.

Card Two: The Chariot

This is the card of a Cancer person, and in this reading it is giving off the energy of Prince William, a sun sign Cancer. This is a person who is powerful, ambitious and successful, who has self discipline and a tremendous willpower, and who focuses on what they want to do and gets it done. They overcome challenges by taking action to go around or circumvent the challenge, and they are in control of their emotions and their inner strength.

Coming after The Emperor in reverse, this card tells me who The King sees as a threat and who brings out the shadow side of his role as King, and that is Prince William. The King is threatened by Prince William's willpower, self control, drive, and success. He feels those attributes reflect badly on him and so he tries to cut Prince William down where-ever possible, including using his powers as King to make sure that he always comes out on top - or at least appears to come out on top.

Card Three: The World in reverse

The World card is about endings, the successful conclusion of some project or situation. It is the last card of the tarot - you have been through the journey, learnt everything you can, and this is the final summing up before you depart from the situation and (usually) start the journey again.

In the reverse, the card says that things are incomplete, the project was not successful. There is no sense of closure about a situation. The lessons of the journey were not learnt and it is too late to go back and learn them now.

The energy of this card is of dissatisfaction. King Charles does not want to leave the crown to Prince William. He feels overshadowed by his heir and he justifies his reluctance to himself by saying that his heir is missing something, that he is not ready to be King.

There is a sense of things being incomplete - this is not the person he would choose to succeed him. Again, I'm not getting any specifics, just a strong feeling of dissatisfaction and 'I don't want to'. It is almost as if The King thinks his job will be incomplete if he leaves the crown to Prince William. It's hard to pin the energy down into words - as I said, just a strong feeling of 'this is not the way it is supposed to go'.

This energy of dissatisfaction also come's from The King's experience of being the monarch. It is not like he thought it would be. Things are not like he expected. He is not getting what he wants from the role - it is leaving him unfulfilled. Something is missing, or more than one something, and he can't say what they are or what they should be, he just knows this is not what he wanted when he thought and planned about being King.

For some reason, The King seems to be taking all his dissatisfaction and channelling it towards his heir. The energy is 'If only you would do this, then everything would be right on my end', but the 'this' is not specified and nothing works to make things eight for The King.

Underlying Energy: The Seven of Wands in reverse

The Seven of Wands is a card about conflict, defending yourself. protecting your beliefs/family/position etc, holding your ground.

In the reverse, it is a card of defeat. You can't stand up for yourself, you can't defend yourself and protect what is yours, you give up, admit defeat, and surrender.

Wands can be the card of PR, and this card is about PR and battles fought through PR.

The King is not achieving what he wants to achieve through PR. He has fought to get his wife seen as the saviour of the monarchy, the style and fashion icon who is so much better than anyone else in the BRF, and it has failed. No one is buying it.

He has tried to get the British public to accept Harry returning as a member of the BRF, and he has failed. No one is buying it.

He tried (briefly) to promote himself as the leader of a fresh new monarchy, a new beginning and a new spring for the crown (this was around the time of the coronation). No one bought it, and he quickly changed his tune to 'caretaker' king.

The King has lost his PR battles and he is unhappy about this. This is behind his sense of emptiness at being King and him being threatened by his heir. He can't get people to do what he wants them to do. He can't make himself popular, he can't make his wife popular, and he can't make his second son popular. His heir, however, is popular without even trying or caring about the popularity (from The King's perspective). He doesn't understand it and it upsets him.

This card also suggests a lack of consensus between The King and his heir on how situations should be handled. The King is upset that his heir is not saying 'yes and amen' to everything that he proposes. That is feeding into feeling that his heir is a threat to him as well.

Major Arcana: 3 out of 4 cards in the reading are major arcana. This is a big deal according to the universe. No only will this play out very publicly, but there are archetypes involved in this situation that give it power in the public eye.

Conclusion:

The King does feel threatened, but by Prince William, not Harry.

Being King is not how he thought it would be. He can't make people do/think what he wants. He can't make himself popular. He can't make his wife popular. He is losing his PR battles. I think the King feels like a failure, in his secret heart. So instead of looking for what he can do to achieve his goals, he resorts to PR to cut down the people who he sees as outshining him and so sees as a threat to him.

I also got an energy of expecting his heir to fix this for him (the how was not specified) and being frustrated when this did not happen.

The King doesn't want to leave the throne to his heir. He sees that as an unsatisfactory ending to his reign.

I asked who The King wanted to succeed him and I could not get a clear answer. I'm not sure that The King knows himself.

The first time I asked I drew The Five of Cups in reverse, which is my card for the return of a missing family member, and The Magician, the card of manifesting/trying to make this happen.

The second time I asked I drew the Four of Wands in reverse, which is a card of destabilisation and transience, also it can be a card for the BRF, so I took this as the end of the monarchy, and I drew the same underlying energy - The Magician, manifestation, trying to make this happen.

So either The King wants Harry to rule after him or he wants the monarchy to end with him. Either way, he does not want Prince William to succeed him.

I think a lot of this energy is subconscious for The King. The energy itself felt rather confused and hidden away, like when you are not acknowledging something. Some of it I think is conscious, but a lot of it I think is subconscious and reactive, not looked at or examined and brought into the light.

It was a lot of very confusing energy to try and put into words - a lot of woolly thinking. Nothing seemed clear except that The King was not getting what he expected and he was upset about it, and that he felt threatened by his heir, even if he won't admit this to himself and finds other ways to justify his actions to himself. It is a mix of 'I love my son" "I feel threatened by my son' 'I want my son to do as I say' and 'Why isn't my son fixing this for me?'.

[nenelonomh]

microhabits for a better life

microhabits are small, everyday behaviours that compound over time and can lead to significant changes. these tiny actions, which can take as little as 15 seconds, require minimal effort but yield substantial benefits when practised consistently. by focusing on microhabits, you break down ambitious goals into manageable steps that you build over extended periods.

microhabits work due to several psychological and behavioural factors. let's explore why they're effective:

microhabits have minimal barriers to entry. they’re so small that you can easily start them without much effort or resistance. for instance, doing one push-up or writing a single sentence in your journal requires very little activation energy.

consistently practising microhabits builds momentum over time. when you perform a tiny action daily, it reinforces positive behaviour and creates a sense of accomplishment. this consistency helps you stay on track toward your larger goals.

neuroplasticity! our brains adapt to repeated behaviours. by consistently practising microhabits, you strengthen neural pathways associated with those actions. over time, these pathways become more automatic, making it easier to maintain the habit.

microhabits shape your self-image. when you consistently label yourself as someone who meditates for a minute each day or reads a page before bed, it reinforces that identity. you’re more likely to continue the behaviour because it aligns with who you believe you are.

celebrating small victories boosts motivation. completing a microhabit provides a sense of achievement, even if it’s minor. these wins encourage you to keep going and build positive associations with the habit.

when establishing microhabits, it's essential to be aware of potential pitfalls. here are some common ones to watch out for:

setting unrealistic expectations: starting with overly ambitious microhabits can lead to frustration. instead, choose tiny actions that you can consistently perform without feeling overwhelmed.

skipping counting or accountability: not tracking your progress can hinder success. use a simple system (like a checklist or app) to monitor your daily microhabit completion. accountability helps maintain consistency.

neglecting consistency: microhabits rely on daily repetition. skipping days disrupts the habit-building process. even if you’re tired or busy, commit to your tiny actions consistently.

lack of trigger or cue: without a clear trigger, it’s easy to forget your microhabit. associate it with an existing routine (e.g., after brushing your teeth) to create a cue.

not celebrating small wins: acknowledge each successful completion. celebrate these small victories to reinforce positive associations with the habit.

changing too many habits simultaneously:  focus on one microhabit at a time. trying to establish multiple habits simultaneously can lead to overwhelm and decreased adherence.

staying motivated to maintain microhabits can be challenging, but here are some strategies to help you stay on track:

visual reminders: place visual cues in your environment. for instance, if you want to drink more water, keep a water bottle on your desk as a reminder.

pair with existing habits: attach your microhabit to an existing routine. for example, if you want to stretch daily, do it right after brushing your teeth in the morning.

track progress: use a habit-tracking app or a simple calendar. mark each day you complete your microhabit. seeing your streak grow can be motivating.

accountability: share your microhabits with a friend or family member. having someone to check in with can boost motivation.

set clear goals: define specific goals for your microhabits. for instance, instead of “exercise more,” set a goal like “walk for 5 minutes daily.”

reflect on benefits: regularly remind yourself why you started. reflect on the positive impact these small actions will have over time.

the best time to start a new microhabit is now! seriously, don't wait for a specific moment. begin with a small action that aligns with your goal, and let consistency work its magic. whether it’s right after waking up, during lunch, or before bed, the key is to start and keep going. 

the time it takes to form a microhabit can vary, but research suggests that consistency over an extended period is crucial. on average, it may take around 66 days for a behaviour to become automatic and habitual. however, individual factors, such as motivation, context, and the complexity of the habit, play a role.

here are some examples of successful microhabits:

drink a glass of water when you wake up

take five deep breaths before starting work

stretch or do yoga for five minutes every morning

clean off the top of your desk before leaving your room

meditate for just five minutes

create a list before grocery shopping

learn something new each day

use affirmations, or visualisation to boost your mindset

further reading: Focus on “Microhabits” to Change Your Behavior (hbr.org) How Micro Habits Can Change Your Life & 50 Micro Habit Ideas (simplifycreateinspire.com) Micro Habits: The Secret to Achieving Your Goals (behealthful.io) Microhabits: Small-but-Mighty Catalysts for Change — Blog | Jody Michael Associates

i hope today's post was helpful! ❤️ nene

image source: pinterest

[ominous-horse-noises]

final finale thoughts!!

things i loved about the finale

QUEER GODDESS PATHEON YEAAAAAAH!!! i thought it was such a good way to find a happy medium between kristen committing to a worldview that felt authentic and nuanced without being catholic™ about it

everything to do with the scene of Ankarna trying to offer retribution to each of the bad kids, and each of them making peace with past wrongs instead of continuing to stew in it. i love growth!!!

FIG AND KRISTEN MIRRORING ANKARNA AND CASSANDRA

everything to do with mazey and fabian. of all the fantasy high couples aside from fidayda, these two feel the most like they make sense together- they have similar interests, they have similar values, fabian had a crush on her even when she was being 'uncool' (eg. twister) and how mazey actually picked up on that and appreciated the way he used his perceived coolness to extend it to others who might be picked on otherwise. this is the couple i most hope go the distance even post aguefort adventuring academy (again, aside from figayda ofc but i literally cannot imagine those girls breaking up over anything)

fabian's fetus sibling outnemesising him despite fabian building an animosity towards them the whole season before they were even conceived. peak fantasy high insanity

controversial but i thought the maryann/gorgug being introduced and canonised in all of 15 minutes was hilarious. it was very teen of them in a way that felt authentic. my ideal scenario for them is an end of year fling that becomes amicable exes bc they truly have nothing in common beyond thinking the other is hot (real of them) but i dont have a strong opinion on whether they should break up or not

also maybe controversial but i like that kalina is straight up bloodthirsty. she felt like an equal opposite to bakur- rather than being a devoted servant who became corrupted by proxy, she was trying to corrupt her deity into a form she preferred. thematically it extends to the complementary opposites thing ankarna and cassandra have going on (though i get it might be a reach).

"... thats a four. you know what it's for we don't have to talk about it"

squeem

riz coming in clutch with the character arc right at the last moment. i joked ab his neuroticism being part of his natural swag, but im glad murph not only made sure riz FINALLY addressed the way he was burning himself out, but also that by extension, he was burning out both fig and kristen bc riz has a very calculated idea of 'success' and while he had the best intentions, those two dont fit neatly into it

THE HOLD PERSON OVER THE LAVA??? RIZ'S 'very good on paper, but no practical application."??? i screamed

a second blimey-related divine intervention roll by K2 leading her to getting pinnochioed into a real straight british girl, in real non-dnd britain, is the best thing thats ever happened in fantasy high. a simulacrum was so powerful brennan had to do the dnd equivalent of sending her to a barn upstate.

adaine and aelwyn talking about killing their mother over icecream can be something that is so personal...

siobhan's incredible play with the earworm??? phenomenal, i gasped out loud

fig maybe moving into fabian's house even after she drops out so fabian won't be alone again... what if i threw up blood actually

i liked kipperlilly copperkettle being confirmed to be rotten to the core. 'the ritual looks very different when one accepts rage willingly' GOOD!!! i like evil ambitious teenage girls who try to burn the world down to get what they want. i get why they didnt bring her back, that detail definitely cemented her as in the zayne/penelope category of 'past villains who could possibly be redeemed'

FIG AND AYDA MY LOVES!!! sorry but not even the lesbian goddesses are doing it like these two. brennan put his whole pussy into creating ayda aguefort and my life has been changed forever

zac once again dming K2's alternate universe campaign

things i hated

ik it was payoff to the running bit and it made me cackle when it was revealed, but the implications of hallariel and gilear having a baby are so bad to me. fig talks up gilear a lot, and sure, he came around to being a good dad to her, but gilear has objectively been a shit stepdad to fabian and hallariel... is hallariel. its got to sting was watch your mom be basically catatonic for your entire life, and then suddenly prove that she was capable of being an present mother the whole time- just not for you. im hopeful that senior year will address this though!! lou has always been so good giving his characters' weighty emotional arcs that feel satisfying

i dont like the implication of trackerbees getting back together. i never thought bladebees was good beyond a realistic rebound, but trackerbees was SO codependent together, i dont think its a coincidence that kristen had her best emotional intelligence moments when forced to think things through on her own. tracker always struck me as kind of a 'fixer' type, like she feels most comfortable with someone she can act caretaker-y to (hence bouncing off kristen to another girl who had similar issues). i really reaaaally hope they dont regress back into their s2 dynamic

ruben's memory wipe. i thiiink the implication is that those who were the most willing to follow through on porter's orders maintained more of their memories bc they were in control of themselves and those who didn't were compelled into obedience (which might be why ivy and oisin remember more), but it wouldve been nice to actually see the lucy/ruben close friendship brennan said they had with him sobbing and apologising to her

it felt very weird that kristen didnt get some kind of resolution to her yearlong gentle prodding at bucky?? i think ally got sidetracked with the possibility of kristen getting back together with her ex that it kind of slipped from their mind (maybe bc to them the ankarna vision of her upbringing was kristen resolving her feelings towards her family but still), but considering all of elmville was coming apart, i feel like bucky's faith could've been swaying into doubt pretty easily. idk maybe bc ive become a trackerbees hater over the season but it felt annoying that that was what ally focused in on and not their character's more meaningful relationship with her little brother

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Something meh I wrote for luca, def not my best work due to stress lol

Rated Explicit | Warning: oral (reader receiving), light (very) electro stimulation

Silence. Late evening it usually is quiet in the dormitory area of the manor. The occasional sound of Luca tinkering though but nothing else. Dark and silent, you creep towards the door before you go still in front of the door. He told you if you ever could not sleep, you could join him in his room.

Usually, you stay there listening to him work. The ambiance of an inventor at work is rather soothing and amusing when shouts “Ow!” when he messes up a wire or two. Luca is tenacious and ambitious, though he does not remember much and often forgets to the point he has to journal everything important, he is like the spark of electricity fighting to find a connection.

Currently, though, he is not working when you come to visit. After an intense match with the new hunter Ivy, he had just finished bathing and greeted you with only his pajama pants on, hair wet, and for the first time, you see the scars of what electricity can do to the body.

The Decoder lets you in though it is inappropriate given his both lack of clothing and how late it is, something you both never cared about like some others do.

He sits on his bed and resumes drying his hair with a damp towel, idle chatter as you sit on the poorly maintained couch. It is not uncomfortable but definitely has seen better days. You lay on it while talking, him keeping the conversation going as you expect of a former aristocrat.

Though he was from a family of wealth, and clearly educated, you never felt how you do around Frederick or Edgar… Uncomfortable. The sort of peacock-ness air about them that often makes you not acknowledge even when waiting for a match. In the matches, of course, you help but post you are immediately getting away from them. Luca does not give you that feeling and maybe it is because he has “fallen from grace” sort of speak, or maybe he is just likable.

“You stare a lot these days.” Teasing, he likes to flirt when in the mood.

“Can't help it,” As your eyes shift to his face, “Does It hurt?”

He looks at his chest, his eyes staring hard, “It gets irritated but not so much hurting.” Then looking up, then pointing at the table near the couch, “Those usually help.” Bandages with a bottle next to them.

“Can I help?”

“If you want, you don't have to.” The shyness is unlike him yet you figure it is because no one has seen him like this.

It was unexpectedly intimate, you did anticipate being so close to him using the ointment and applying the bandages would create a new situation. You have been close to both dancing, patching each other during matches, hell, sharing the same bed when you both could not sleep. It was like you are seeing the vulnerable Luca Balsa, not the inventor but a man who is fragile and lost trying to achieve something beyond himself.

When you kiss him it is funny the shock of low-grade electricity that zaps you both, the laughter is sweet and silly.

Luca does not want that to end the moment he has thought of for many days and is trying to build the nerve to get here. He ushers you lay on the bed, his thin frame on top of you. The partly wet brown hair is like curtains blocking your peripheral vision, you can only see Luca and his smiling face. Kissing your lips, face, neck, and a few hickeys on the way down to your chest; the second to remove your shirt before he is on you again.

By the time he is between your legs, your body feels a buzz from his uncontrollably electrical minor shocks and his skillful hands and mouth. Your hands in his messy hair gripping it with one hand as your other hand grips the pillow behind your head.

[noangeleither]

does anyone else still wonder about marcus' place in the whole review (s1e07) equation? like whyyyy was he so obsessed with perfecting a donut? it always bothered me.

sometimes i chalk it up to it being comedic relief but when carmy put his hands on him and he quit, it felt deeper than just a joke about how into donuts he was. i sympathize with him being so excited about this newfound love but it also feels too shallow for me to extend as much sympathy as i do with other characters in that episode who fucked up.

like when you think about sydney, carmy and richie and their place in how that mess started. the whole season led to this episode, and this explosion was bound to happen in some capacity because there was too much history, personalities and motivations going against each other.

for sydney, who represents a radical change. she wants the restaurant to be great. She's ambitious, a leader and creative. but like sheridan road sometimes it can get too much and blow up in her face. which kind of creates this loop of making everything the "thing". etc etc.

richie represents being firm in the past. like yes richie was a raging asshole to syd and carm but with prespective the audience is meant to sympathize with him trying to hold onto the last thing he can, bc everything is changing around him too fast (dead best friend, divorce, co-parenting).

carmy is right in the middle. he wants to fix his brother's restaurant. to fix is to make something better. to change it. he used the Beef to fix his relationship with his brother when that's impossible. hes holding onto the past bc he thinks he can change it somehow.

so with all those factors + ego + the fact that all 3 of them are pretty angry ppl = the review. richie gets stabbed. carmy rages. and syd quits.

but where does marcus fit? the show has never given us a reason as to why exactly he has such an emotional attachment to the donuts that he went into his own little world as every thing was going to shit. i felt like s2 gave a really good opportunity to explore that when he went to coppenhagen but they didnt. or maybe i missed it idk.

[indras-wife]

may I request Yandere Indra with his s/o escaping him?

Heyyy! I am so sorry this request took me ages to complete as I was super busy with my studies. 🥺 Despite taking my time I hope you will the request. Yandere Indra is such a hot concept for me. That man is the embodiment of crazy person who will do anything to stay with his lover forever. Hope you enjoy this❤️💖

Y/n thought a lot about her plan of escape very thoroughly for months. She was in an arranged marriage, one she never agreed to and hated her married life the minute it started. She knew very well that if her husband caught her running away, he would undoubtedly punish her or even worse kill her. After all, he was known as the “Red eyed demon” in these lands where they settled. But she could not help herself, her mind was continuously wondering about the life she could have if it was not for that man. She wanted her life and most importantly her freedom back. Living with Indra was a full nightmare for Y/n.

Memories

”But…but I don't want to marry you.!” Y/n looked at his eyes, hoping to see a change in those red rubies. Yet the only thing she saw was his unchanged and even darker expression, making it obvious that her cherished dream of being free from him will soon be crushed.

”You really think you have any freedom to decide your own future Y/n? How naive of you..~”he said, smirking. This man always got what he wanted and now he wants Y/n as his wife, the mother of his future children and his partner for life.

”You and I are destined to be together. No matter what, you belong to me. I won't let anyone or even YOU try to take what's mine away from me. Understood?” His eyes gleamed with malice as he spoke. Only at that moment did Y/n realise that the rumours about her soon to be husband were true…he truly was one crazy and merciless man who would not stop at anything to get what he wanted.

End of memory

Y/n waited till her husband left for his daily council meeting at night. She already prepared everything in advance, hoping that her plan to escape would succeed. She knew her husband would stay longer during this meeting as he was preparing for a surprise attack at the village he came from. This was the chance of the lifetime for Y/n and she would use it.

Gathering some clothes and food in her small bag, she finally came out of her house and started running towards the forest as fast as her legs could carry her. After some time of running, she started to run faster, not daring to look back or even think about being caught. Freedom seemed so close for her that she just could not stop. She was ambitious, she had to regain her freedom and her lost life. Maybe even reunite with the man she wanted to be with?

Y/n’s head was filling up with ideas of her bright future as she was running through the dark forest. Her heart, on the other side, was filled with the feeling of being scared the more she went away from her house and village.

-Meanwhile-

“Stupid documents..I forgot them..” Indra was mumbling as he walked towards his house. He wrote down every plan of his, which was created by very precise calculations and wisdom that only he possesses out of every man in the village. He knew that if he wanted to make his father and brother pay. he had to rely only on his wisdom and precise methods. Or else he would fail and for him, failure is not an option.

As he entered his house, he felt a strange feeling; some sort of emptiness in the house which he never experienced. And what was weirder was his wife did not come to greet him.

“....” Indra knew something was off. “Y/n?” he said loudly, waiting for his wife to come to him.

But…there was no answer. Indra went upstairs to their bedroom, but Y/n was not there as well. He could not even sense her in the house.

Did she get kidnapped?

Did someone try to harm her?

Did someone take her away from him…?!

Or…maybe she escaped..?!!

Indra’s mind was full of ideas about what could have happened to his wife in this short period of time of his absence. He would not tolerate anyone harming her or taking her away from him. Y/n belonged to him and only him and he would make sure to let everyone, including her, know it. His mind screamed for him to go to the forest, hoping to reach those who kidnapped her. Or even to her.

Indra hurried out and ran to the forest. He would get her back no matter what. And if she was not kidnapped, but instead escaped him, he would show her the consequences of her actions without holding back.

-After some time-

Y/n was not sure how long she had been running in the forest. Everything looked the same to her, she even thought she was lost. Her legs were tired, her heart beating super fast and her mind thinking only about the escape.

As Y/n could not keep running anymore, she leaned on a tree to catch her breath.

“Kami…please help me find my way…Please…” she breathed as she closed her eyes, hoping to take a small rest and continue.

“You are calling for the WRONG god, Y/n…” Y/n heard Indra’s voice from behind her. Her body was signaling for her to not turn around. but ran, as far as she could. But she ignored her mind ans instead turned around, seeing her husband behind her.

“....!!” her eyes widened, walking back as she could not believe in her eyes.

Why is he here? Shouldn’t he be in his meeting? Did he know of her plan?

Thoughts were running in Y/n’s head, trying to make sense of what had happened.

“You were trying to escape from me huh..? And here I was thinking my wife was kidnapped, but in reality she is trying to escape from me..I thought you would NEVER do such a thing,...considering how good I treat you~” he spoke calmly, walking towards her in slow steps.

Y/n was totally freaked out. She was not expecting to be caught, and not to mention she was scared of what Indra would do to her. His calm way of speaking freaked her out even more. For him, this is a betrayal, and she knew better than anyone how Indra was dealing with people who betray him.

“Cat got your tongue dear WIFE..?” Indra quickly appeared in front of her and slammed her body on the tree. Y/n left out a small sound of pain as she could not dare to look at him. Her whole body was shaking, her heart beating fast and her mind replaying scenarios that she thought would happen to her soon enough. What will he do to her?

Kill her?

Torture her mercilessly before killing?

“I-In….Indra..I…”Y/n could only utter his name weakly, still not able to look at him. She felt too ashamed and scared to look at him. As she was trying to gather her thoughts to defend her. she heard Indra sigh deeply.

“You what? Want to tell me you are sorry? That you did not mean to ESCAPE from me, but it SOMEHOW happened..? How long were you planning this escape of yours, Y/n. Tell me…TELL ME!!” he screamed, grabbing her neck. Y/n knew he was livid. He would yell only when someone got him very angry. And she DID get him angry.

“S-SORRY…! I am sorry Indra..! Please….Please let…let me go…please!” Y/n spoke as her hot tears fell, hoping her cruel husband would really let her go.

“Let you go…?” Indra asked, his voice full of mockery. “Ah you…my SWEET, POOR WIFE~” He added, now laughing on her face. Y/Despite never bearing him laugh, she knew instantly that this wasn’t an innocent laugh. It was full of evil, mockery and foreshadowing of torture.

“I WILL NOT let you go. EVER. You are mine…Your soul, body, mind…your whole essence is MINE Y/n. There is no escape from me..and I will make sure you dont ever think about escaping AGAIN” he gripped her hand and pulled her body to his.

“W-What you plan to do with me..!?”Y/n asked, feeling scared for what will happen to her.

“Do not strain your mind thinking about it..~ You will see soon enough…~ I will make sure your legs will not work for DAYS and your mind will be blank of any idea about escaping me.”

Indra picked Y/n up and ran through the forest to their house. Something told Y/n, she would not enjoy what he would do to her and she knew that after this, she would not ever dare to escape or even think about it.

EVER.

[runwayrunway]

No. 52 - Alaska Airlines Xáat Kwáani and Salmon-Thirty-Salmon Liveries

Did you think I was done with Alaska Airlines?

No, this is actually my last post about them for now (though, mark my words, you will be seeing a post about the Gold Nugget Jet in the not-too-distant future - I just feel like we need a break from nothing but consecutive posts about the same airline, and I have other things I want to cover). But it's something that's both requested and which I've wanted to talk about for some time.

In my last post I discussed the identity of the man on the Alaska Airlines tailfin. It wasn't a major part of the story, only taking up a small piece, but I did touch on how ChatGPT apparently will lie when asked about the background of the livery. Not only does it falsely attribute the livery to Fred Kabotie, who I'm sure had more important things to do, but it also falsely claims Fred Kabotie, who was Hopi, to be Tlingit. As it turns out, though, Alaska Airlines does have a livery designed by a Tlingit artist.

image: Brandon Farris

Crystal Kaakeeyáa Rose Demientieff Worl is a Tlingit artist known for large public artwork which heavily incorporates indigenous artistic traditions and visual motifs across many mediums. Some of her previous work includes large-scale murals in Alaska and throughout the world and guardrail panels at Juneau International Airport. She feels like the most natural choice possible to design an airliner livery, given the scale and diverse canvases she works with, and in May of this year the airplane you can see looming behind her was unveiled in a brand new livery that I, and a lot of other people, immediately fell in love with.

It's safe to say that this is one of the most ambitious and unique special liveries out there. Xáat Kwáani (which means 'salmon people' in Tlingit) is a beautiful and one-of-a-kind take on the often-noticed resemblance airplanes have to fish.

Salmon fishing is huge in Alaska, both now and historically. Today fishing is a major part of the Alaskan economy and something many people making a living off, but historically they were even more directly responsible for making the difference between life and death for those who lived beside them. A major source of food, they were literally life-bringing to indigenous societies, necessary to survival. Humans and salmon were part of the same ecosystem.

Independent of this fact, airplanes seem to lend themselves to comparisons to sea creatures. They may be called 'birds', but time and time again other people confirm that I'm not just imagining it, they do distinctly look like cetaceans and fish. Very early on in this blog the fact that 747s look like Humphead Wrasse was discussed. Amakusa Airlines, Japan Transocean Air, and Southwest Airlines have all leaned into this fish resemblance, and I'm sure over time my sea creature plane tag will continue to grow. This genre of livery will never cease to delight me.

I think it's fairly predictable that I always loved N559AS, the brilliantly named salmon-thirty-salmon plane. I was devastated when I learned that the livery was going to be removed. I mean...just look at her.

The salmon-thirty-salmon was a very unconventional take on the fish-plane, using a much more realistic drawing than any other attempt. It doesn't even try to transform the plane itself into the fish, which I think is potentially a smart way of accepting the limits of doing so. Instead, it fully displays the honestly hilarious and adorable face that salmon have while providing a nice canvas, a bit of water for the salmon to be carried on. At the same time it incorporates thoughtful details like the scales on the interior winglets, and the way the salmon's body is aligned with the empennage and nose feels very precisely done. It can create a somewhat uncanny doubling effect from a few angles, but by no means is it enough to rob the livery of its charm or elegance.

The salmon-thirty-salmon gets an A.

I've lived near the ocean my whole life. I love fish. I loved this plane. I was heartbroken when I learned the livery was going to serve its final milk run before rolling into the hangar for the very last time, coming out repainted and lost forever. It's always a bitter pill to swallow when airlines retire special liveries, particularly when it involves the plane being repainted into the standard colors. A lot of other people were sad to see this design go too.

What we didn't know was that this was not the end of the salmon-thirty-salmon. She was not lost, but transformed. When she emerged from the hangar again she was not wearing Alaska Airlines' default colors but something even more eye-catching, a livery honoring the same fish but with extra layers of meaning added by means of an intricate and beautiful new design.

Costs, materials, and man-hours used to paint an airplane vary dramatically from case to case, livery to livery, model to model, airline to airline. The numbers in my description are somewhat conservative estimates used for comedic value. Alaska Airlines actually gave some numbers for Xáat Kwáani - twelve days, 117 gallons of paint. The colors used are Midnight Blue and Atlas Blue for the background, White for the fish themselves, and Pink for highlights, and a clear coat has been applied over the top in order to preserve the livery. Alaska Airlines has every intention of keeping it intact for as long as possible.

The use of colors is beautiful. The waves of darker and lighter blue keep it from ever looking too light or too dark, adjusting to the lighting in order to always remain saturated and vivid, and the irregular wave pattern keeps any part of the livery from looking static. The use of the pink as a highlight is sparing but effective. The white, though, is what makes this livery so fantastic. A central tenet of this blog is a disdain for the dominant trend of livery design in recent history, Eurowhite - that of an almost entirely white fuselage. And there is a legitimate sense of general derision for white, but it can be so powerful as a design feature. There is no contrast more powerful than a stark and complete absence, a space carved out fully from the world and color around it. It is the color of bone and snow.

The balance of each color is just perfect, the blue never overpowering the white, the white never fully blocking out the blue, the pink subtly adding depth throughout, and the shapes of the salmon are placed perfectly, not feeling cramped or confined. They are free to wander the fuselage and they have an amazing sense of movement to them, as if caught mid-leap. I've seen salmon swimming upstream to spawn, and they are so startlingly large and vivacious. The fish on this plane, though stylized, perfectly capture the way that these fish look in motion.

Formline is a style of art historically created by indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest coast of North America. It was a common and versatile visual element, present in everything from painting to carving to weaving. It is defined by its use of continuous, curving lines which may change in angle, width, and direction but do not terminate. Though it was diminished in quantity by suppression of indigenous culture by US and Canadian settlers it never went away, and from the second half of the 20th century onwards it has been surging back as more and more indigenous artists are able to produce and display their work. Worl has worked with formline many times before. She is quoted as saying:

Every time I looked at an Alaska plane, I couldn’t help but visualize the salmon being in formline [...] I can’t help but look at things and see how to Indigenize them.

And the idea has now come to life in this absolutely unforgettable livery. I wish I was within the range of the 737-800 from Alaska Airlines' hubs so that Xáat Kwáani could pay a visit to my home airport, because this is among the most beautiful planes in the world right now. And beyond just nice colors and pleasing shapes it represents something important - indigenous artists being given a 40-meter-long flying platform on which to honor fish which have provided countless centuries of life to the people who live beside them.

Worl's work is above and beyond what I would have ever expected for a custom airplane livery. Even the 'Alaska' wordmark is neatly incorporated into the formline, blending into the background to the point it's hard to notice in a good way.

Most liveries are designed by graphic designers and branding firms. Landor Associates design liveries and logo, but they aren't building monuments or putting their work in galleries. I don't mean to diminish their work - obviously I'm passionate about it, I have a blog about it - but it's just fundamentally different from what Worl does. It has different priorities, a different philosophy, and a different level of personal investment.

From my perspective Xáat Kwáani feels less like branding material and more like a piece of artwork. This isn't something designed to go on letterhead, to be put in a press kit, to be widely reproduced. It's something to be looked at, thought about, and remembered. This is a mural that flies.

I mean...A+, obviously.

There is just about nothing else in the sky which has the same visual power as Xáat Kwáani. As far as I'm concerned, every gallon of paint was worth it to give us this flying tribute to the people and wildlife of the state Alaska Airlines takes its name from.

[rainy-astrology]

ATEEZ San Birth Chart Analysis

Based on my opinion and observations. Not a professional astrologer. May change later.

July 10th, 1999

Jinju, South Korea

10:08 AM

☀️♋️, 🌙♊️, ⬆️♍️

Sun in 11th shows a drive and ambition towards his future dreams and goals. San has always wanted to be a singer since he was young and has worked very hard to achieve his dream. He has improved his performance and vocal skills immensely over the years, often being the most eye catching member for many people who aren't ATINYs.

Mercury Leo in 11th shows a preference for like minded people. San seems to really enjoy the company of others - seems considerate of others feelings and cares to be on good terms with people. He has a natural charm and sweetness about him.

Moon in 9th also adds onto his ambitiousness - he truly seems to want to make a great influence on the world and be successful. Especially as a Virgo rising...I've never seen a lazy Virgo placement, they always work so hard for they want. He's very strongly opinionated, all of his beliefs come from the heart.

Saturn is also in 9th, which solidifies his strong beliefs/opnions. Saturn here puts a heavy focus on building future career and life. He makes sure to implement a sense of strictness and discipline into his routine.

Saturn trine ASC can make him appear serious and quiet. Physically, it can give people sharp features (Saturn and prominent bone structure), which San definitely has: sharp cheekbones and jaw, nose and eyes, prominent brow bones. Angular brow shapes suit him the best too (at least imo - it looks more cohesive with the rest of his features compared to straight brows). This is also likely why many people may find him intimidating at first or think he's older than his real age.

Mars Scorpio in 2nd is such a possessive and protective placement. It also creates an incredibly hardworking individual who always goes for whatever they want with no limit. San may be especially inclined to working hard towards his finances and can be particular about things he owns (iirc he has a black card but also won't bother to buy new things sometimes).

Jupiter in 8th...this could be about being good with finances, it is a priority for him (could obtain wealth from someone else maybe). This could also be about transformation of himself as 8th house is "death" and Jupiter is expansion. San seems to focus a lot on being authentic and true to himself, so it would not be too surprising if it is about him constantly trying to improve his character for the better. Maybe he has gone through a lot of life changing experiences or will be/is going through them.

Venus Leo in 12th is interesting, especially since Venus squares Moon and Pluto too. He's certainly loyal and devoted to those he loves (Leo's loyalty + Pluto's possessiveness). In 12th though, perhaps San is shy at first? Or at least very selective. It seems once he trusts/loves a person though, he really clings onto them (just look at the way he's glued to the other members and how he always says Yeosang is his. Venus square pluto behavior). Moon square Venus can add onto his attached and affectionate nature (though, many Leo venuses are just affectionate in general)

Uranus and Neptune in 5th makes for a creative and expressive individual. San clearly loves the arts and always expresses his passion in every performance. He may be a bit strange and unconventional, but I think that's just an artist thing in general

Pluto in 3rd explains his thoughtfulness so much! San is a little silly at times, but he seems to have a very deep side to him due to this placement. You can especially see it in the way he talks/writes in his letters to the members and fans - he writes in a way that pulls at heart strings (even I've gotten emotional at one of his letters and I'm not the type to get soft hearted so easily) and makes people reflect. It also explains his strong beliefs and opinions - he's such an advocate for authenticity. Pluto in 3rd folks have a very specific way of talking and thinking that makes them stand out.

Chiron in 3rd may make him feel insecure about the way he talks and thinks though - maybe San is going or has gone through a period of feeling misunderstood by others. A lot of Chiron in 3rd ppl do. Although he does like spending time with others, I think he may accidentally drive people away by oversharing and/or talking too much...He seems a bit intense and clingy, which may be overwhelming for others. Communication and self esteem is a struggle for many with this placement.

Being a Virgo rising, he may appear quiet and serious, observant and disciplined. Hard working with high standards. Pluto and Saturn aspect his ASC so it adds onto the natural stern energy he has.

North Node Leo in 11th is focused on building community, contributing to groups, and celebrating the individualities of others. I think he is doing a pretty good job at this as he's very encouraging and kind to others and is always advocating for people to simply be themselves.

Gemini MC can appear sociable, curious, and optimistic. San is a pretty positive person, I don't think I've seen him be negative to himself or others much...He always seem to be active on socials as he talks to ATINYs a lot. ATEEZ considered him one of the more talkative members in the group too.

___

Other Analysis:

MBTI | Enneagram

___

Masterlist

___

[goopyedgay]

I feel sentimental I'm sorry but–

You don't know how happy these stupid guys make me, I don't know why, simply seeing them causes me immense joy in any circumstance, in any medium, they make me smile at my worst moment.

It's funny because when I read Hell Park for the first time I completely ignored them, and my favorite character was Tweek (which is why he is the protagonist of my AU Coven Park), but for some reason when I read Hell Park again, their dynamic caught my attention and I loved them.

Gregory and Estella inspired me immensely, even daring to make my own AU just because of them, what for me was a way to avoid problems and harassment became something ambitious that I am currently working on and trying to give my all.

and not only that, they also inspired me to create my ocs and an equally ambitious story that I have in mind, in case anyone was wondering, these are the ocs that I mainly based on Gregory and Estella to create them lol

And all that thanks to two stupid characters from a canceled South Park AU, honestly, I don't know how I would be if I hadn't met them, it's impossible for me to imagine knowing that they have influenced my life from the end of 2021 until today, this was one of my first drawings 🥲

I know that the issue of the Gregstella ship is somewhat dense, although I don't classify it as "problematic" because I consider that it doesn't even reach that sick level that they want to label it so much. And I know that I am perhaps the most directly responsible for having popularized the ship, and I apologize for that, it was not my intention to attract weird people, because yes, I have seen that quite questionable people have come to like the ship, or at least less so on this side of the pond, but I refrain from interacting with them because I simply don't want to and I have seen very unpleasant things coming from those people.

I would be lying if I said that I no longer like hp gregstella, I think it is something inevitable, even knowing that it is wrong, it is something that I cannot help, but nevertheless, I no longer urge people to ship them, but I also do not harass those who they do it. I think people can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't cross the boundaries of what is considered healthy. So yeah, I still kinda like hp gregstella, but I doubt I'll make content of them in the future, maybe I never will (and I never actually did, other than edits), maybe I'll start drawing them again more frequently since the annoying comments stopped, but I will never make hp gregstella content, but if I do one day, at least you will see it coming i guess 🤧

To the point I no longer care what people think of me, nor do I care to be in the Hell Park fandom, but I am aware that a large part of the fandom likes my art and inevitably I am part of it, so it also makes me happy that people appreciate my drawings despite everything, I love you, especially to the gregstella shippers who follow me and who I talk to (who are mostly lesbians just like me, a little ironic lol) 😭💕

I just want to do what makes me happy, and if people are bothered by what makes me happy, you can just block me, no hard feelings. I will continue drawing my silly couple, because it is the closest thing I will experience to love, being aromantic, I like to write couples with interesting dynamics, but being part of one? No thank you 😦

I finish with this little animation I made of Gregory and Estella from Coven park, for whoever took the time to read this, thank u and gn