#foreshortened future

[icarus-suraki]

I love giving my psychiatrist pause when I tell her that, no, I don't have a five year plan. I don't even have a one year plan. Hell, I barely have a one month plan.

[dragonheartstring360]

That anxious attachment moment when something just feels off and you just physically can’t believe people when they say everything is fine and the foreshortened future is through the roof, so now you’re waiting for everyone to inevitably leave you and alone feels safer, so you just wanna fuck off to the middle of the woods and never come back out and become a little forest hermit witch.

[canary0]

So the "foreshortened future" post made me reevaluate my entire life in the context of "holy shit, I've has PTSD since third grade." But I'm also really glad, because you can't fix a problem you don't know about. I have a path to heal. I'm going to teach myself how to trust again.

This week, my goal is going to be to ask someone for help at least once.

Even just that, even having that future, makes so much difference I want to cry. I have a meaningful future.

[gatheringbones]

[“The poverty debate could do more to recognize the powerful effects of rejection on a person’s self-confidence and stamina. Applying for an apartment or job and being turned down ten, twenty, forty times—it can wear you out. Theories about neighborhood selection or joblessness often assume low-income people are more or less “rational actors” who recognize trade-offs and make clear choices. The reality is that many are “exhausted settlers” who accept poor housing in a disadvantaged neighborhood or a dead-end or illicit job after becoming depleted and disheartened from trying and trying and failing and failing. The shame of rejection not only can pressure people to accept undesirable circumstances today; it can also discourage them from striving for something better tomorrow.”]

matthew desmond, from evicted: poverty and profit in the american city, 2016

[partyhorn]

You sure you want to take that?

[beannary]

look me in the eyes and tell me this wtnv quote doesnt fit casey jr literally so well

[wolfpoets]

so weird to see takes from people who Don’t Get why people are taking izzy’s death personally. it’s the betrayal of a show telling you it’s gay characters get to live and be happy - except for this one. not the oldest queer. not the queer that talked about how happiness isn’t made for people like him, which resonated with so many real life queers. not the one who finally found his queer family after a lifetime of repression. not the one who suffered devastating trauma and physical disability. sorry but for a lot of folks izzy was the character who felt the most real. killing him ended up feeding into a lot of real world fears for some of us.

[geraskier]

hard to be sympathetic sometimes bc of how small my world is due to disability. even if i wasn't agoraphobic there's still a lot i wouldn't be able to do. i used to define myself as a runner. i can't do that anymore without risk of injury, and i can't afford that kind of injury. i am barely 👌 capable of 40hrs a week stock clerk. i can't do more. there isn't more in me to give.

it hurts to write enough to designate & sign a rent check. so any amount of hand-based hobby/art is going to increase pain above baseline--maybe not forever. or maybe trying too hard to learn how to draw will further permanently damage my hand(s). would you take that bet? can i accommodate myself enough in desired pursuits to do them "safely"? i don't know, and i don't have the resources to find out, and i don't know if i ever will.

and here i have people in my life i care about deeply who are struggling with shit i don't even have the luxury to consider.

[tyrannuspitch]

listening to sad l*na songs i liked when i was thirteen like apart from the fact that none of these things happened to me and the overall vibe could not be less like me this song is literally me

[peace-and-light-poetry]

Foreshortened

She was fixated on mortality However, she was especially fixated on her own Existence is ephemeral

She knows this And so deals with it However, she never knew

This fixation has a name "A sense of foreshortened future"

Her childhood wasn't a healthy one And, as far as she knew, she'd probably die young (however an age is deemed "young")

Her curse came with a low life expectancy And she's forfeited her dreams She hadn't much a drive to live

(though she did have a few reasons to keep existing)

From her pertinent observations, she's burdensome To the ones she loved, she wanted them to not weep for her Idly, she planned her funeral arrangements

Discussing Death and funerals as though She were talking about today's weather

For all she knew, she was never meant to exist Finding solace in her own eventual demise Actively predicting

Is a short existence really so bad?

Still, her thought processes has a name A long name but, still, existence is ephemeral.

[system-of-a-feather]

Today I was invited to the table of the game of life. Everyone here is playing their cards, some are playing Magic, others Pokemon, some Yugioh, some playing cards, and even one guy over there has been playing Baseball cards I think, but as absurd as this game looks, they all appear to be building to a greater image.

The call me to the table to add to the game.

I walk up and pull out my deck of one, singular Skip Uno card. I sit down and shout Uno and play my Skip Uno card. I have won.

The table looks at me - paused in bafflement; a silent stare of bewilderment

They tell me that is not how this game of life works. We each create combos, chains, strategies and skills and build this massive play to form a much greater game.

They tell me that there isn't any winning in this game of life; they tell me that I need to bring more cards to the table, draw some more and join in on creating chained webs and supportive suggestions.

I tell them this is all that I have, there is nothing more to how my plays work other than this singular Skip Uno Card. I play Uno, the only function of Uno is to remove your cards. There is a limited amount of chain and skillful strategy that can be played in the traditional game of Uno; even less when your entire deck is empty and all you have is a singular card.

We have an issue. My game doesn't work at this table. We are incompatible, my deck simply doesn't work with the nature of this collaborative game.

I turn to the ref, solutions my good man. I can't fix my deck, I can't generate new cards. I can't make a play other than Skip Uno, what can anyone ask of me.

The ref checks the book, he checks the rules; he looks up and with a quizzical suggestion, asks if I could ask for someone else's cards

I say no, I don't have a card for that, all I have is a single Skip Uno Card. I do not have a Draw 4 or Draw 2. I only have Skip Uno.

He looks at me. He turns to the other players. He whispers in their ears as they chatter among one another. They each pull from their decks, donating one card each and collecting them into a stack.

They hand me the deck. In it, a Preordain, a holographic Charizard, a single piece of Exodia, a four of spades, and Babe Ruth. These cards now sit around my single Skip Uno card.

I turn to the ref, raising an eyebrow at this strange deck built before me; uncertain if this solution would work, if these cards could even possibly be played at this table.

Even so, new options have been placed in my hand. The bizarre game resumes. I play the four of spades.

The turn roles by.

[diluc33rpm]

1/2 Are you afraid of growing old?

yeah... what if i’m not dilf enough for my followers 😔

[dragonheartstring360]

foreshortened future will really have you like “well there’s no point if I won’t make it to 30”

[sallypriest222]

how do you think about the future when you lost the key years ago?

the clock should've stopped ticking then.

it keeps ticking. why won't it stop?

when will the clock tick its last?

[messymotherfcker]

It feels absurd that I’m still alive

[looking-it-in-the-eyes]

what do you want to be, when you grow up?

what a strange question to ask. i wasnt grown up yet, how could i know what they wanted?

how could i know i would get there?

....when youre an uncertain child in an uncertain world, you survive as though you are all youll ever be, in the here and now. this one, singular moment is all that is, unless you happen to keep walking.

some of us dont know the amount of steps we get to take, and as we walk, we start to learn to trust our footing.

well, i did it! i grew up, against all odds.

now. what do i want to be today?