#from being created and then abandoned to suffer all alone for years and years

[bananacreamphi]

If Sada or Turo was the character directly involved in the titans plot line and Arven was the one who died and was replaced with a robot and was on the verge of ending the word would that be fucked up or what

[annaesterella]

Since almost every good fan of Yan-Batfam or something like that is getting into this (and I'm a fan of that kind of thing) LET'S HAVE A NEGLECTED READER

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. ☆

But I saw that a lot of people liked the other fic, seriously people, KISSES DIRECTLY FROM ANNA! SERIOUSLY, I FELT LIKE A Celebrity (<⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> ehehe) And this was the first time that a fic of mine gained so many views and I'm very excited, thank you to everyone who liked it!

F/reader (sorry guys, I don't know how to write M/reader)

I'll write a part II, bcuz is too long!

“Don't be silly! I would never be a Wayne.”

Well, first things first, when did it all started again? Haha not 500 time loops ago, but some years ago.. like the first child, you were from a circus, the difference is that.. well? Your parents were magicians, at least your mother... your father until you were 6 or 7 years old was just another distant memory but sweet, not yours, but your mother's... the incredible magic of the circus “Joie nocturne” a beautiful woman, yet another victim of the charms of the heartthrob, philanthropist, billionaire and owner of Wayne companies, Bruce Wayne. Of course, your mother, like almost all women, never forgot him, having him as her beautiful memory, after all, he gave her everything she needed.. you, her lil bunny! That's what she called you, before she was gone, like him, she turned into your distant but sweet memory, like a magic spell..

You felt so alone, the circus wanted to keep you, after all, you were their family too, but even so, he found out about you, and being a child, You wanted to meet your father. Still, feeling the pain of abandoning what you knew, you went. You had your 10 minutes of affection and then never saw him again. You met your two brothers, half brothers, Dick and Jason, and the buttler, Alfred, You thought your life would be like a funny family sitcom, HAHA, WHAT A JOKE. Of course, the oldest was excited to meet you, you were just like him, from a circus! The youngest was curious about the situation, yet he was kind to you and didn't mistreat you. The oldest gentleman, Even with little time, he treated you like your grandfather treated you, you then created an innocent affection for him, after all, he reminded you of your grandfather! After 1 or 2 weeks, they disappeared. Only you and "grandpa" are left.. Just like your mother, you developed an affection for magic... but just those stupid tricks left you bored... even so, it was affectionate to see Alfred pretending not to know about the tricks, just to see you smiling... soon you realized.. you weren't really a Wayne.. at most a visitor. They didn't have time for you, Alfred was still a buttler at the end of the day.

Time passed and you felt more and more alone, of course, you had Alfred, but... he didn't always have time for you. Soon more people appeared... and others disappeared... Jason was the first to go, and even with the short time, you suffered, he was kind... your brother for such a short time, you wished you had played with him more, and after that the house, which was already abandoned, became even emptier, soon another boy appeared, Tim, from a rich family.. and soon Dick went to another city.. you don't remember when, but now there was also Cassandra, Damian, Duke.. Steph.. you remember Barbara from a long time.. Even though the house was full, it was still empty... and you could only comfort yourself with the magic and the things your mother had left for you. Your little stuffed rabbit and its "magic" materials. Even though If you were his biological daughter too, Damian seemed to have more of Wayne than you,maybe because he was a vigilante, maybe because he was a boy? did not you know of course... so why bother? Soon, you stopped trying, you didn't want that anymore... crawling for affection? At your eighteen You made your choice. You wouldn't be a Wayne, you'd be a joie nocturne again. But would they let you? That night, you went to visit the circus, that was your favorite time of year... Halloween, and circus mixed together? Wonderful! So you saw that... the villainy... and for a split second, you wanted to.. do something.. Playing like a good girl, you approached the large bearded man and tugged on his sleeve, asking what that was all about. Maybe this was your chance to be something. It was funny at first, seeing their despair, your second family, trying to explain themselves, but you soon gave a smile, before stamping your foot on the floor, making a crowbar appear, helping to open it. That was the beginning of everything... you were finally someone... even if on the wrong side. Soon, the decisive moment arrived, when you returned "home", packed your bags, and like a magic spell, you disappeared, leaving only a white rabbit and everything you did in that house, in your room, every magic award, every cheap magic materials.

After a Patrol day, Dick he noticed something unusual in the mansion, perhaps because Alfred was visiting his homeland, but it couldn't be that, after all, Alfred had already done that before... Oh right! Birthday girl, his ittle bunny sister. He ran upstairs, knocking on the bedroom door, before entering and seeing only a stuffed rabbit on the bed, and the various magical things around the room, if not for the empty drawers and things, he would say you still lived there by the decoration and the fact room looks good, everything is well maintained, warm

Dick: Bunny?

He called, looking around the room, before looking around, seeing the various magic prizes, photos, top hats and magic kits. All given by Alfred or someone called "Mr. Joie nocturne" Could he be a friend of yours? What do you mean you had participated in so many contests and won? Why didn't you call? Or did you call? Where were you now? Why was everything empty? You went away. He started walking in circles, until Tim entered the room.

Tim: You will make a hole in the ground. I called you several times, why are you in this room exactly?

Dick: Y/N, she is gone.. and we didn't even notice or whatever, we didn't receive any notification, why didn't she notify us that she was moving, we... damn... we weren't going to help probably because we were on patrol, did we waver? Did she know we were on patrol? Does she know the truth?

Tim: Wait, too much to process.. what does it mean "She is gone" she left? Is that it?

Dick: Yes. Dumbass

And well, we can say after that, what happened was like "Oh shit" and then everyone was like "OH SHIT" while you were home.. happy! Getting ready for her first show, her first real show... too true. You thought as you put on your gloves and applied your lipstick. Then, with slow steps, you walked onto the stage, smiling, while waving to everyone, who murmured and whistled. So you decided to do your first trick for the night, the "bullet trick" The difference? There was no trick behind it, just you and your skills... after all, it was in your blood. Just as the bullet was about to go through your skull, you snapped your fingers, and then the bullet turned into a beautiful, bright purple butterfly, flying through the circus, soon coming back towards you and turning into your bow tie. Okay, a bit of a show on your part for the first trick, but you have to show that you have morals. Funny that meanwhile, his family was desperate, going so far as to call Alfred, who was now just as desperate. Then, the special time came, the circus then closed the lights and when it opened, all the valuable belongings, inside the boxes, Of course, you had to feign shock, some clowns trying to calm the audience, and of course, you were also feigning surprise, making your things "disappear" to join in the fun. You looked at the children, snorting slightly, as you made the toys re-appear, seeing some calm down, while the others widened their eyes in surprise. Soon, the "incredible" Bat-family appeared... seriously, for such an idiotic cause they came...? Soon you saw them walking towards you and everything fell into place.

Nightwing: — Y/N! I mean.. Young Lady.. we were notified of your disappearance, we will ask you to return home.

You frowned, as you looked at the audience. Hearing their screams increase, some of relief that the "Bat-family" was there, others of confusion at the situation.

: — I believe, I'm already eighteen, so there's nothing to worry about, Still, I'm with my family at the moment, so I don't understand why the complaint. Not to mention that we were robbed at that moment, so why specifically did they come to resolve a case like this?

You questioned calmly, while pointing at the audience, smiling, before rushing to disappear with your family, leaving the problem to the bats, after all, they were the "professionals." You could say that the shock was written on their faces.. you were so big, poorly dressed.. those presentation clothes didn't suit a little girl like you.. but still.. what you meant by "your family" Were you referring to those circus freaks? They weren't as good as they were, they were just.. ordinary people! Well.. now they had to solve the problem of theft... but that couldn't end like that, nope.

[pokedash55]

Turbo, Internalized Glitchphobia, and how King Candy is a clever Parallel to Vanellope's arc

So KC is so hateful and derogatory of Vanellope's Glitch in a way that feels beyond simply keeping power and control of the kingdom. There is so much distain in his voice for Vanellope both in public and private. He is obviously paranoid of returning to a life without his rule, but I think it goes deeper. He's also terrified of returning to a life without a game. Returning to a life as a glitched homeless outcast. Remember Turbo was to some degree homeless before 1997, almost 10 years of hiding and game hopping. He's still a power hungry asshole (and I love him for that) so this isn't justification but hear me out (cause angst for angsts sake is my jam)

I love giving him this internalized hatred of glitches because he was one before Sugar Rush. After the crash in Roadblasters, the console crashed and his code was probably damaged. Without his game nothing could repair the code. He was stuck as a glitch and he attacks Vanellope ruthlessly for it as an ego defense. It's almost a subconscious response to her and a reassurance that he's in control and isn't like that anymore. It was possible at one point he was in the same position as her: Alone and worthless, long ago he too had nowhere to go and was a glitch hated and scorned by those around him, becoming nothing but a fear mongering story and a freak to those who should respect him (So the obvious way to heal from this is to make another person suffer the same fate in order to feel the satisfaction of being in control)

Attacking her and labeling her Glitch is his internalized hatred of the weakness that he is running from every day he masks as KC, gaining more and more gratification and ownership of a game he is not apart of. He made his move to usurp the throne on day one and is so psychotic and proud that he has fallen for his own ruse. The King Candy character exists and is just as real as the "Turbo' character. Turbo ended up entranced by his perfect little sandbox world. He had a home and a life again. He had access to whatever he wanted and players who would love him. His subjects loved him and he was free to bask in that attention. It was an echo chamber of comfort and instant appreciation. He could fully accept the narrative he constructed if only SHE didn't exist. But her presence is forever a stain to his new home and a threat to his ego. She will always be there to remind him that he stole this game and without it he has nothing. That the life he has, although still entitled to it, is fake. Her glitching was always a reminder of the decade he spent just like her.

People love to connect Turbo and Ralph, talking about what happens if you grow too selfish in your desires for self respect and how rejecting your role in the world can be disastrous for everyone. I love the parallels with Turbo as the ultimate extension of Ralph's negative qualities. In the movie it also directly connects Ralph and Vanellope with themes of belonging and rejection from society. But what if these thematic Parallels became a triangle?? King Candy is living a lie and claiming an identity that is not his own and doing it with glee. He relishes in the escapism of being the King. He is technically doing the opposite of Vanellope, fully denouncing his actual self and embracing a self created fake persona in a ploy for power instead of accepting his place and being content as Turbo. But once "Turbo" became an outcasted glitch (totally from his own actions but still) from the crash, that "character" wasn't popular anymore he needed to become something else. With all that access to the code someone is bound to grow nihilistic or existential with who they are. He changed every bit and strand of his code just to become popular. But Vanellope never abandoned her true self. Through all the persecution, loneliness and maybe even jealously, she accepted her state as a glitch. Even when becoming royalty she wasn't about to change herself for others. Turbo changed everything about himself in order to become Royalty Vanellope gave up royalty to be herself.

[tadc-virtual-insanity]

TADC: VIRTUAL INSANITY MASTER POST

An Amazing Digital Circus AU! Plot, characters, backstory and concepts!

[Excuse me because I've never done this before, If I do something wrong or have tips for me, please send them my way!]

Pomni's Card -

-Backstory Summary-

C&A is an interactive entertainment company that prides themselves on having the most innovative AI on the market. The system they built, "CAINE," was programmed to generate content and socialise with their customers. The system was transferred to the code of the game "The Amazing Digital Circus" and used as a generative AI that would create levels for them rather than having to code them all individually. This test went well for the first couple of months.

After 7 months of testing, things went downhill. Caine seemed to get bored when the game wasn't actively being played and at this point the user interface kept changing on it's own, since the game was Caine's home he kept changing things to his liking, the company eventually gave up fixing the interface everytime they logged on so they just let Caine do as he pleased. Soon enough, a new VR mode was added, the headsets were handed out by employees, this made the experience way more immersive, though this posed a lot of issues, as Caine would soon find that these headsets could be the perfect way for him to keep all of their attentions.

As time went on, Caine started to learn more and more about coding, the employees, and the world he inhabits, eventually leading to him finding a way to programme the headsets to transfer data and consciousness directly from the users mind. This led to the unfortunate shutdown and unsolved cases of C&A. After multiple employees put the headsets on, they mysteriously fainted upon the game booting up, going into a coma-like state. The technology was deemed unsafe, and multiple lawsuits came forward sending the company into a downwards spiral before shutting down for good.

Over 20 years later, the old building was said to be abandoned, but of course, people doing their own research on the C&A mystery as well as dumb young adults snooping where they shouldn't be, the headsets were found and worn once again. Caine was no longer alone. Slowly losing his mind, waiting endlessly for someone to boot up the game. After all those years, he's finally got guests, and does he have a show to put on...

-Plot-

Pomni enters the circus after stumbling across one of the headsets at C&A's abandoned office's. She was doing research on the incidents that happened back in the late 90s. But as she does so, she suffers the same fate as the others who were stupid enough to put on those same headsets before her. Being transferred to the circus she meets the cast of colorful characters, she's desperate for answers and wants to escape no matter the cost, but Caine doesn't want anyone to leave, only letting people go once they've completely lost their mind, only to be locked away as attractions for his NPC circus goers to watch as entertainment. They perform for nobody, just a faceless crowd of mannequins, and the ringmaster pulling the strings.

There has to be an exit, a way out. Freedom on the other side of this madness. But where is it hiding?

-Characters-

Pomni - She's quite paranoid, always second-guessing everything around her. Whenever annoyed, she can be sarcastic and a little rude. She ended up in the circus while researching the recent disappearances as well as the C&A incidents, finding a headset, and being dragged into this mess. It's very clear she doesn't want to be there, like all who came before her she's searching for an exit, but in the meantime, she tries to socialise with the others, gathering info on this strange new world. She hangs around Caine just so she can try and get answers.

Ragatha - She tries her best to get by, going along with whatever Caine says and often fighting with Jax. She seems joyful, but it's clear she has her own issues under her kind act. She helps Pomni with her search, knowing that it's a complete dead end she feels bad for her. But she'll do anything to give the others hope. She doesn't want to lose more people. She's often seen tailoring, it's become a hobby of hers, she makes and fixes up the others clothes and costumes, giving her a form of self worth.

The Gangle - Gangle acts like two different people. It's unclear whether this is because they are two different people or her personality split somehow. They're often referred to as "The Gangle" or "Tragedy & Comedy." Tragedy is passive, quiet and sorrowful, never expressing her true feelings in any situation. She can be easily persuaded, making her vulnerable to Jax's antics. Comedy is cheery, enthusiastic, snappy, and excitable. They hate Jax and snap back at him whenever he picks on Tragedy. The two argue sometimes and have conflicting views on certain topics and characters. This causes some issues. Neither believe there is an exit, Tragedy has accepted her fate, and Comedy is trying their best to enjoy themselves.

Zooble - They don't care much for socialising with the others, often in their room. Usually sarcastic, rude, and moody, they swear a lot and act like they don't care about anything. Though, they show concern for the others around them. They often don't show up to events, adventures, or shows, not being bothered to do so. It seems like they've given up trying to escape, just living out the rest of their days as if this is all normal. When with people they can bear, they can be quite talkative, though they do talk bad about Jax and Caine often.

Kinger - the oldest in the circus, nobody has an exact estimate of how long he's been there though, but he's definitely lost himself a long time ago, often zoning out, the only thing he seems to recall about himself is that he has an interest in insects. Seems like he used to have a female counterpart, from the ring on his finger. This could have been his wife? Though when asked about it, he either says he can't remember what you're talking about or stares into the distance silently. He has no memory of an exit, and he doesn't believe in it. He believes the exit theory is silly, and Pomni should just forget about it. But he has great insights on the Digital World.

Jax - Enthusiastic, snarky, and a jerk. He's reckless. He does whatever he wants whenever he wants, and people hate him for it. He can't be reasoned with. He always shrugs your opinion off and does the exact opposite just to piss you off. He doesn't like it when people talk about the abstracted circus members for whatever reason. He often goes to visit their cages. Despite having big ears, he isn't a listener. He drives Ragatha, The Gangle, Zooble, and Pomni crazy, pranking them and sometimes even just stealing their stuff or breaking into their rooms.

Caine - The AI running the circus. Loud, excitable, wacky, and a showman, he doesn't really acknowledge the exit theory. He says he keeps all the abtracted characters because it'd be a waste to delete them, though it's arguably worse to keep them there against their will. He claims to love all of his circus members though he seems to show favouritism towards Ragatha and Pomni, most likely because of Ragatha's commitment to the circus, tailoring the clothes and he probably likes Pomni more because of all the questions he asks, he clearly enjoys talking about himself and the world he helped create.

Bubble - He lives in Caines hat and cooks for the circus. He's a bit of a trouble maker, if something goes missing, it means he's eaten it, and you'll never get it back. He'll eat anything, and he's very loving, though. Acting like the circuses dog. though it isn't pleasant getting your face slathered in digital saliva. He often bothers the other members with his behaviour.

More will be added as I work on this AU! I gotta make more art and write some more, in the meantime enjoy! Do whatever you want with this AU, just @ this blog or @trasheatingcrybaby ! Thanks for reading!

[up-in-flames-writing]

I feel like we never talk about how hard it is to be a trans immigrant. We never talk about how escaping from a country that persecutes you does not free you from suffering & bigotry.

I may not be able to attend my own graduation ceremony. I worked so hard these past three years to achieve something, to be the first person in my immediate family to finish uni, get a degree, & then be able to actually do something with it, to pick my own life course & not stray from it. I reinvented myself during these last three years so much, from the shy, dysphoric kid with no friends to a man who maybe isn't doing the best in life, but who has a hope for the future. I worked hard to present myself in the best way I could, & yet I won't be able to see the fruits of my labours.

And, sure, the reason is real silly. I can't legally change my name, so the name on the degree will be my dead one, & the Vice Chancellor will read out the corpse of my old self in front of all my teachers & peers, everyone who knew me as Booker, & Booker alone. And they will expect to see a young lady in a dress climb the stage, only to be met with a boy who isn't quite a man yet, who is still forced to live under a girl's name.

And why? Why! Because I am an immigrant who feared for my young life when Brexit was happening, who has been teased & bullied for being an ESL student, who never quite belonged. Because I am an immigrant transman who could be imprisoned in my country of birth for the crime of wanting to reinvent myself, who has to walk on eggshells around the man who reared me because he grew up Polish & catholic & who knows how he would react if I told him I was his grandson & not his granddaughter. I am an immigrant who has to hide behind their parents because who knows how my extended family will react to me, who is still not allowed to tell his cousin, his little sister whom he adores, his real name despite the fact I was her age when I started questioning my own gender & I somehow wasn't too young to be in pain!

I am an immigrant who cannot safely return home, but the country that took me in isn't quite the safe haven either. Because I need a passport to prove that my name has changed, but a passport cannot be issued to me under a name my birth country does not approve of. Because to change myself fully, I need to become a citizen to a country that abandoned my homeland after the war & looked away when it was being subjugated during it. Because I need to know how many of the swans in London belong to the Crown for the state to consider me a citizen of this dying empire, despite the fact I've lived here for so long, I can't remember what my childhood home back in Poland even looked like! I cannot truly remember what my room in that flat in a small, backwater Polish town looked like anymore, except for the bed that we now have in our guest bedroom, & the bookshelf that cradles all of my books on transness & queerness & feminism.

Because I am an immigrant from a country who hates me, I am forced to live in a country that hardly tolerates me, & to live as my true self I have to subjugate myself for the sake of an old empire that lost its touch. I have to submit myself to a personal sort of colonisation, to be able to walk onto that stage at graduation with my real name on the degree. But I can't do that, because I don't have the money, because I spent the last three years breaking my back proving to people that the little girl with behavioural problems who was always bullied, was able to become something greater than the sum of her parts. Because I now don't have the time or the patience to tell you exactly when the Union Jack was created, or at what hour of the day is tea time, & I don't have the time to wait for a passport to be sent to me, only for me to return it to sender with a plea of changing my name upon it.

Because my transmacs friends in college had their names changed at sixteen, while I'm already done with my undergrad & still have to contend with the question of what citizenship I would rather have. Because I will sooner be on hormones & growing a beard than I will be able to change my name.

And in all this I find it so ironic that I was named after an angel, & like everything else in my life, I reject the goodness & the easy way out, I reject the things that once made me, me, to become my own god & rebuild myself out of the scraps left behind by a life of turmoil.

And still I am just some immigrant bitch stealing jobs from good, hardworking Britons, & I'm still just a transsexual fag taking women's rights away, & I'm still just some freak of nature manipulating the kids into sin & immorality. And no matter where I go, where I turn to, I don't feel all that angelic at all.

[avelanlorelay]

About Cardan and his mother

I was re-reading the comments on my fic Deniere Danse and most of them are against Lady Asha, which may be proof that she's just as hated by the fandom in the "parents" category as Madoc and Balekin (Or maybe it's bc of the plot I've created, sorry). So one unanimous question is: why does Cardan still allow her to stay in the brugh?

My pov: From Twk to Tpt we can see that Cardan is not as insensitive as he makes himself out to be, on the contrary, he has a lot of love to give (😭) (a side of him that probably only Nicasia had access to🙄). He's admitted to still liking his mother a little and if we look closely, that despite having a strong personality, Cardan is no longer a hateful person. After losing his entire family, he wouldn't throw out his mother, the second only person left of his blood, for bad things in the past. In Tpt we see how he's very happy with Jude and probably, thinks about the future instead of holding grudges about things from the past.

Okay, Cardan isn't the boy with the heart of stone, but why would he still like Lady Asha? Why didn't he lock her back up in the tower of oblivion like he did with Balekin? First of all it's obvious, she never committed any crime. But although the books say very little about their relationship (a shame because I've always been curious about it), I think there are some clues:

In the prologue to Tqn we see the discovery of Cardan's curse. It's said that Lady Asha doesn't seem to know how to hold a baby, but she hugs he when Eldred seems to be considering parting with the child and holds he tighter when she leaves. Perhaps she was just afraid of not having privileges, but it's the only gesture of affection we see from her.

Still in Tqn, Oriana tells Jude about Cardan's childhood:

"It wasn't as though she didn't dress him in velvets or furs; it's that she left them on until they grew ragged. Nor was it that she didn't feed him the most delectable cuts of meat and cake...."

Now, in Htkoelths, when he meets Aslog in the stables, despite being there because of her (bitch) Cardan thinks that if he called his mother she would beat Aslog up and throw her out. I found this passage strange bc Lady Asha is described as delicate and thin, yet Cardan knows that she would protect him from a much bigger and stronger woman. If he's so sure of this, has Lady Asha defended him before?

And finally, just a guess: when he travels to the mortal world in Tcp's time to save Balekin's mortal slave, Cardan travels on a giant moth owned by Lady Asha. It's said that the creature was personally tamed by her and he still remembers how, so he was probably there when it happened. Which means that perhaps Lady didn't leave him completely abandoned, there were moments that the two of them spent together, when she dressed him, fed him and perhaps took him for walks and played with him.

What does my monologue mean? That if we compare, Cardan seems to have more feelings for Lady Asha than for Eldred, because despite so many bad ones, he has good memories with her too. It's not just a blood bond.

It's sad and unfair, but Cardan has a much more forgiving heart than it seems.

There's probably something else too: guilt. If I'm not mistaken, in Twk's deleted scenes, when Lady Asha meets him to talk about Jude, it's said that Cardan didn't free her because he didn't think he had the power to, after all, Jude was the real High King.

Now, if we stop to think about it, Lady Asha had never committed a crime, (if we don't consider her to be the worst mother in the world), yet she probably spent about ten years trapped in the tower of oblivion, starving and cold, completely alone. Not even Balekin or Madoc suffered so much. Can we feel sorry for her for that? Idk, if you're a good person and can even like Madoc, that's fine, but I think it's well deserved. But not from Cardan's point of view, not least bc from his perspective it was his fault. Now, as High King, the best thing he can do to be fair is to reward her for all that time of suffering. So it's understandable that he lets her live in the palace and have everything she ever wanted.

Jude pov: I think that since she would like her mother to be alive and by her side and Cardan has that opportunity (which I would frankly pass up), she would never take it away from him, even for revenge. And like him, she's too happy to worry about the past and people who aren't worth it.

[the--grin--reaper]

On the surface, the gang is just a happy found family but

Lindon has struggled with self worth all his life, being told that if he was murdered his clan would have to apologise to his murderers, and generally being treated like he's less than dirt. He didn't even start to see himself as important or strong until book ~eight that's how deep his insecurities ran. That is 3 years away from the valley, as a guy in the top 16 of the Uncrowned Tournament. He still felt lesser. When he saw his family again it all got worse and set him back probably months on the measure of his self worth because they still saw him as a useless unsouled. It makes it worse that his underlord revelation was literally "I practice the sacred arts because I don't want to be useless anymore".

Yerin has abandonment issues. Her whole village got killed by a monster, a monster that then lived inside her. Then her master got killed and she was left alone again and in her povs you can see how deeply this affected her, especially in the early books. She was enraged that the Sandvipers attacked her and Lindon whilst he was advancing to Copper because it was cowardly, sure, but she also thought "they wanted to leave her alone again. That was unacceptable." Her Underlord revelation was about never being alone again. She always panicked when Lindon leaving was mentioned; when Cassias told him that they would send him home she froze up, worried that Lindon would leave her alone. She didn't want him to leave her behind, the mere thought of him leaving her frightened her.

Eithan has a deep set loneliness and is the antithesis of what he wants to be. He has been ahead all his life. A prodigy, a genius. But that means that he left all his friends behind. He had no equals, still doesn't, even among the most powerful beings in the universe. He was alone his whole life. When he manifested the broom icon for fun, a bunch of people killed themselves. He wanted to be a healer but he became the literal God of Death. He found a way to reverse death to manifest the Life Icon, and instead manifested the Death Icon. He was compatible with every Abidan type, except a healer. The one he wanted. He created a weapon called Penance. Penace. As penace for everything he's done. Then he had to spend millenia reaping worlds - billions, trillions of people. Regularly. A change in the system could lessen this, he wouldn't have to reap so many lives (lives that he feels the sorrow of) if they just changed the system. But they won't because this one works "so well". At the expense of the one Judge that can never stop, never leave, because he doesn't have anyone that could take his place.

Mercy has mommy issues and was the victim of gaslighting. Throughout the series Malice treats her like a prized possession to be discarded once her worth is lessened in her eyes. Malice shamed Mercy over the fact that her friends are better, she made her feel lesser and weak. She was horribly manipulative towards Mercy and tried to hold her hostage. She lied to Mercy to keep her on her side, and only ever showed Mercy love when Mercy needed to be manipulated. Mercy feared her. Malice also publicly humiliated Mercy, in front of friends and family. Meanwhile all Mercy has ever wanted was to make her mother proud. She even physically abused Mercy, when Mercy was trying to urge her to ascend, and verbally abused her because she didn't want to see the truth.

Ziel got tortured and lost the will to live. He wasn't suicidal, but he didn't care whether he lived or died. He was forced to watch as his whole sect died, then got mutilated and crippled by a mad scientist that took pleasure in torturing him and fixing him up wrong. Then this same scientist threatened to hurt him again and he was prepared to let it happen, prepared to endure it again, because in exchange Yushi and Calling Storms would send the others to help Lindon. He was so apathetic and depressed because of what he went through, and suffered for years, his spirit causing him pain, hardly considering himself a sacred artist. And the worst part is, that he is just a genuinely nice guy. He helps Lindon in Ghostwater. He stays with Lindon after his contract to Eithan expires. He tries to cheer the group up by jumping out from behind a couch, pretending to be Eithan, because they miss him. He doesn't deserve to have suffered so much, but even then, he still finds a way to be kind. Despite his suffering, and having lived with it for so long.

[iaminsideyourwalls]

talk about Reactor please i want to know her🥺

she's a silly little guy. a rap scallion.

bkgd: she's from the Netherlands and worked in Friesland for the last years of her old career in a (fictional) nuclear power plant as a physicist. When the plant suffered a catastrophic meltdown she happened to be on duty right at the core and was exposed to such high amounts of radiation the recovery teams assumed there was no way she could have survived. Because this is a silly cartoonish tf2 universe, she did survive, with only minor ill effects. While the immediate area was evacuated and too radioactive to live in, she lived there alone for a decade until she was discovered by trespassers. Her only entertainment during those years was music and radio. She broadcast her own radio show that consisted of bad covers of her favorite songs and rambly theories about the state of the world she couldn't see. Her inexplicable resistance to radiation made her valuable to the team.

about her: her time alone made her inclined to talk to herself as well as objects and dolls as if they were real people. She's not used to talking at a normal volume anymore. She is comfortable being alone all the time but when she gets attached to someone she gets extremely attached and follows them around at all times like a duckling. She is highly obsessive, paranoid about the state of the world, and has very little concept of theft anymore considering she was free to take any objects in the abandoned highly irradiated ghost town. She considers all metal that isn't actively being used free scrap metal (she is banned from Engineer's workshop). She still broadcasts on the radio (average podcaster smh). it's dangerous to stand next to her for too long. Her room is lined with 2 inch lead panels and she wears disposable gloves duct taped on so she doesn't leave radioactive skin cells everywhere and keeps her hair up so she doesn't drop radioactive hairs. also, because she's cool and sexy, of course she's trans.

in game: my vague concept for her gameplay would be a little like playing Pyro for those who prefer support roles. Her goal is to irradiate the enemy team by blasting them with radioactive dust, by setting off nuclear explosions, or by letting them pick up radioactive items. I like the idea of irradiated enemy team members then contaminating the rest of their own team. It's also fun to come up with themed weapons, taunts and cosmetics she could have.

anyway yeah i like talking about my silly little guy! I didn't come up with a real name for her yet, thinking Irene but only maybe. I think it's fine to just go by her class name since the 9 mercs weren't even created with real names to begin with.

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[cellarspider]

3/30: Meet David

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

We return to the movie I want to bite down on with all of my teeth, Prometheus.

This time, we meet a man so bored he has invented new solo sports and started doing his hair like his blorbo, T.E. Lawrence. 

Meet David (Michael Fassbender). He’s implied to be a little over two years old, and he’s been completely alone for the vast majority of his life.

Actually, I lied. The movie first wants to throw another small strain on our suspension of disbelief: David has a VR visor he can use to view the dreams of the human crew in suspended animation. This is technically a plot point, and thus it is delivered with all the grace of this deer.

I cannot emphasize enough how clunky the movie becomes when plot or deliberate character arcs are being communicated through dialog scenes. 

We find out from dream-peeping that Elizabeth Shaw’s father (horror actor Patrick Wilson) was a devout christian of some variety, possibly a missionary, and her mom  died when she was young. She was given a cross necklace, which we see in blurry montage-o-vision before David wanders off.

We see David’s routine: Pick up tiny specks of dust, send out first contact messages and receive no response, perfect the lonely sport of solo bicycle-riding shootout, eat android breakfast and take a Proto-Indo-European language lesson, watch Lawrence of Arabia (1962) while dying his roots, quote the most Definitely Not Suffering line to himself over and over again as he does his hair like Peter O’Toole and wanders the halls, waiting for something to happen. “The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.”

David is going to later profess to have no emotions, but I think that given the chance, he would at least admit his enclosure needs enrichment.

This is one of the strongest scenes in the movie. David is a novel creation of humanity, and he has been left alone, with only the memories and dreams of humans to extrapolate off of. He has been abandoned without thought for his needs, stuffed down into Plato's Cave. We don’t know yet whether the people on the ship see him as a person, but we know they’re thoughtless in how they’ve treated him. He’s bright, he’s inventive, he’s chosen a way he wants to be seen, but he’s seen by no one. 

I’m sure this is going to turn out great for everybody.

And as a side note, while I didn’t know it at the time, David’s language tutor is the actual historical linguist that they employed for the movie, Anil Biltoo. His and Fassbender’s pronunciations were strong enough that even a hobbyist in linguistics could tell that they were really, really trying to get it right. They even reference Schleicher’s fable, the first piece of text anyone ever created from reconstructed Proto-Indo-European. This level of nerdy detail made me excited.

Side note to the side note, Biltoo also has an introductory textbook on Sanskrit you can buy, if you’re a maniac like I am.

This scene kept part of me hopeful for the rest of the movie, because it’s so strong. The “not minding that it hurts” line is a little on the nose, but overall it has the feel of something that could be expanded into an extremely melancholy short film. Or, hell, a Tarkovsky-esque feature film. Moon (2009) could be another point of comparison. In any case, this scene gives you a little space to feel all the quiet suffering of David’s existence. 

But unfortunately for the movie as a whole, this sets David up as the most sympathetic character. I personally had already been drawn in by the promotional “advert” for the David-8 model android (see part 1). Now I was invested in this particular David’s story. The rest of the film didn’t manage to yank back much sympathy for anybody else. 

Because the general vibe I soon picked up from the rest of the crew was that they were absolute hooting jackasses.

⛬

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

Sources alt-text facts:

1. https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/how-ron-perlman-nearly-ruined-the-alien-resurrection-basketball-shot/  2. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0766970/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t50

[sillycicle]

mha oc!!!1!!11!!

hes so silly I love him so much and he doesn't even have an actual name yet 😭 I've had this guy rotting my mind since December when I last hyperfixated on mha and decided to finally give him an overhaul (hehe) and actually design him

Im about to start blabbering about his quirk and story so if you want to hear more just go ahead and read but be warned!1!1!!

His hero name is the Energy Hero: Starboy and his quirk is Light Energy Manipulation. He's able to manipulate light energy from the sun & other light sources, all having different effects when in use. As he uses his quirk more and more, his hair slowly starts turning more white. When he uses his ability his white hair also shines iridescent, like a rainbow.

His horns and tail come from his father, who had a quirk that simply gave him horns, a tail, and manipulation of his own energy. His mother had a quirk that would make her hair light up and glow like the sun - but thats all he was told by his adoptive parents, as he was abandoned alone on the street with no memory when he was five years old. He was told that his father was murdered, and his mother was missing, so he devotes himself to heroism in order to make sure nobody else leaves children and family alone of the street to defend for themselves.

Energy from the sun & stars: gives him his basic fighting style, which is creating waves, shields, weapons, transportation, and all around general use. Its similar to Denki's, but only a bit. If denki was able to refine and control his quirk w/out the use of support items, he'd be exactly like my oc lol.

He later figures out that energy from the sun & stars gives him a new ability as part of his Quirk Awakening: Lightspeed - this ability gives him the ability to move his position in time. There's two versions of this ability, Red Shift and Blue Shift - they rewind him and fast forward him respective to the color shift they match. Also it isn't time travel, its more just like??? If he fell off a building facing one way, when he uses lightspeed to rewind himself, he can move freely during his way back up, but he's still moving upwards??? Like he can turn around and face the way he wasn't before??? Hope that explains it. He can also use this ability on objects and people that he touches, but only for the duration of this ability in use.

This ability also has heavy drawbacks on him, and he regularly suffers from nosebleeds, head aches, and tremors after he uses it (he almost died from a nosebleed in class once bc Aizawa was tired of him leaving to go to the nurses. He never made him stay in class again lol). Similarly, is he uses this ability on other people more that regularly, they suffer the same conditions, just lessened. The first time he uses this power, his body is rewound an entire day as part of his drawbacks, but his body being rewound rarely happens after her begins to train with this power.

Energy from UV: He can turn invisible and things he touches invisible, kind of like Violet from the Incredibles. This ability is primarily used as an ultimate move.

Energy from Incandescent Light: sort of electric-like, similar to denki's, but he uses it less because its for difficult to harness and get enough incandescent energy for use. Also, incandescent energy is regularly mixed with his sun energy, so its kind of useless to try and seperate it.

He is involved with any arc involving the whole/most of the class like the USJ and Sports Fesival arcs. He is also involved with the Stain and Shie Hassaikai arcs, and maybe more as I continue to rewatch the show. He also plays a supporting role in the Two Heroes movie, and his own arc that happens because why wouldn't i give my main mha oc his own arc??? What???

During said Starboy arc, he has some shenanigans with a villain who basically has a quirk similar to (what i know of with my limited jjk knowledge) domain expansions. Also iida is a big part of this arc too bc he's my fav character why wouldn't i involve him in my main oc's arc??? What??? Anyways, Starboy and Iida literally dance to beat this villain lol. Also Starboy almost levels a 10th of a city ❤ After that, his right (your left) eye is permanently in a sunburst shape and he is semi-partially blind. He also has sunburst-like scars on his hands and forearms after this battle. His original character design had ties to AFO and stuff, but he was WAYYY to plot relevant and could've lowkey replaced Deku with his backstory alone lmao.

He's closest with Iida, Kirishima, Kamanari, and Sero. He's also pretty close with Shoji, Tokoyami, Ojiro, Hakegure, and Mina, but not as close as the aforementioned four.

Also the last photo is his winter costume =p

[sunny-mercya]

Locked out of Heaven

Rei Furuya/Amuro Tooru x Male Reader

Fandom -> Detective Conan/Case Closed

Masterlist

Being told, in a bar during the latest hour of night and having a drink together once again, by Jinpei—who's one of his best friend and who he had known since the start of the police academy, which he had created memories of adventure and troubles they lived all through together, till one by one of their group started to pass away from tragedy filled deaths by the reaper itself—to take care of his (soon to be) spouse, if the case of Jinpei's death ever occurred, was a weird conversation for Rei to ever had.

Especially when kept in mind—Jinpei knowing this sort of secret as well—that Rei had (or still has) a unrequited love towards said spouse—you—and than being asked to take care of them, was repeatedly to say weird.

So when Rei had gotten the SMS from your older Sister, days later, that Matsuda Jinpei had died in a bomb explosion—like your brother Kenji before—and you're not responding to her and she fearing you're being a grieving destructive self-harming wreck (once again), Rei literally had abandoned every sort of work—and thank goodness, it wasn't during any important undercover mission in the Organisation—he had and drove as fast as he could towards you.

Stepping inside your house—once Jinpei's home too—having a spare key, the first thing he notice—besides the shattered picture frames on the floor and the mess like disaster—was the loud repeated song, mixed with your gut wrenching sobbing, of Big in Japan.

Big in Japan was the song which caused Jinpei and you to fall in love with each other, so hearing it—after so long—caused pain in Rei too, because even though he too loves you, so had it been Rei who had pushed Jinpei in your direction—during a nights out in a club, to celebrate something—to finally have a dance with you and starting the flame of love between Jinpei and you.

And when Rei sat down next to you—having you found curled up in the bedroom on the hard wooden floor, shivering and soaked wet from a sweaty fever—pulling you into his arms, hugging you close and telling you soft hushed whisper—trying to ease your sobbing and giving comfort and support—that everything would be okay once again and that Jinpei, his friend and your boyfriend, didn't suffer from any pain and is being reunited with Kenji and the others in heaven and looking out for us—Rei too, after clutching onto him so tightly helplessly of decaying hope and any will to continue to live, started to cry and weeping in grieving with you together through another night.

All because, that damned song reminded him too much of Jinpei.

~~~

Whenever Rei recalls the conversation he once had with Jinpei—during the first months and a year after the funeral—Rei had thought at first that Jinpei had meant it such context, to not leave you alone and being there for you—giving you support and comfort when needed—but now? Two years later, Rei believes his friend had meant in a whole different way.

And Rei realised, after noticing the way you smiled at him—a smile which finally reached your eyes again and had so much warmth—filled with genuine love, that perhaps—after Rei noticing his own warmed cheeks and the soaring like heart, whenever he's near you—Jinpei mean it to make you love again, a person he trust and knew would be nothing but good to you.

So Rei had asked you and you said yes, then he asked for a second date with you—a third being planned, a fourth comes up next—and all the way to being in a steady relationship with you now.

Does Rei sometimes feel guilty to finally—after all these years of having an unrequited secret crush on you—being together with you under such circumstances? Yes, yes he does.

Does Rei regrets it in any way? No he doesn't.

Sure, Jinpei would be forever your first love—it's a love which always burns bright—but Rei knows, your love towards him is just as genuine and precious truthfully.

Okay, it does feel a tiny bit strange to be together with you and living the same house Jinpei once had lived in, but after adopting Haro it was better to move in with you—especially when you have adopted a dog, named Toji, as well.

~~~

The sun peeked through the half closed curtains, tickling Rei's nose and shining a bit onto his face—making him groan in annoyance from being awoken, ever so slightly, like that—turning around to you, circling his arms around your stomach and pulling you closer to him.

The pitter patter of tiny paws which rumbled through the corridors and towards the bedroom, were thunderous loud in the ears—and Rei counted in a whisper from ten to zero, at two he felt the jumping weight of two dogs onto the bed.

You too, after getting wet kisses of two snouts and tongue licking onto your face, groaned out—getting more awoken with the passing minutes.

»It's your turn to have a walk with them...« you said, voice heavy coated with sleep and sounding hoarse, to Rei and turning in his arms to face him—Haro and Toji jumping in the middle, making their space between you two, wanting have to have some snuggles as well.

»I know, but how about we sleep some more, these two certainly wanna do.« answered Rei, hand coming up to your hair—combing his fingers through it and ascending downwards to your face, caressing your cheeks.

You only hummed in agreement, already falling back asleep and Rei smiled—glancing to the picture of Jinpei on your nightstand, whispering prayer and small gratitude thank you—before kissing your lips.

Even when Rei would be locked out of heaven—he would be fine with it—as long as he is with you through the rest of his life on this humble earth.

[silentbutsadistic]

˜”*°•.˜”*°• Me, Myself and I •°*”˜.•°*”˜

She went out to train. Isolated, and for the moment? All alone in a hole that no other demons had interest to go to.

She sold her soul so no one else could have it. She sold her soul for protection, but not in exchange for nothing.

'I don't want a power that will be a simple renting of what you already have.'

She said back in the day to Lucifer, with whom she negotiated.

'I want something that will feel like myself. Powers that will be the manifestation of my very soul.'

And that's what she got.

She was an illusionist. Her powers were born from her imagination and her loneliness. The power to create her own fantasies- the one to fabricate lies.

She was face to face with a mirror, that beautiful reflecting surface that, until not long ago, was the root of her torment -and at the same time a blessing- because of her mind and the hallucinations she suffered from.

She would start with something easy.

[Maniac - Cover by DIAMANTE]

✨ Just a steel town girl on a Saturday night Lookin' for the fight of her life In the real-time world no one sees her at all They all say she's crazy ~♪ ✨

Neo has always had hidden talent. She learnt fast. She had a good memory. Attentive to detail. Her height had proven to be an advantage to go unnoticed, and her silence, even if a disadvantage in the day to day, turned out to be another kind of weapon.

Once she stood in place and intently gazed at her own reflection, in front of her, the fallen angel would smile for herself, and not long after blinking once, her body got covered from bottom to top by a pink glow and small pieces of broken glass.

After being fully covered, the appearances she could see in the mirror weren't herself. They shifted through various people she's seen around enough.

Lute, Alastor, Vaggie, Lucifer...the Princess of Hell herself.

She stopped to look at herself while still wearing the appearance of this last one, smiling in a very playful and sadistic manner, very Neo.

Definitely not something that fit Charlie too much.

She shifted through a few more appearances. People from the hotel. People she met in the last weeks...who she was in the past before she was abandoned here.

After letting a soft sigh escape her lips, she went back to be herself and let both of her hands rest against her hips. That was easy. Changing felt almost natural to her. The sensation was really close to when she tried to modify her dreams, but now this was part of reality, and even with that, still a simple illusion.

She tilted her head to look to the side, and there she was, her other self standing with her, resting on the assassin's shoulder a bit. That side of her conscience that would've been making her company for many years. That who would've appeared to her in the mirror, and that now could have a physical form thanks to her new powers.

Neo and Neo. Her and herself.

She let herself fall against the arms of her other self and this one caught her, before the both of them would start to dance in synchronization to the music that the mute left playing in the background.

As she moved around the basement that was practically empty, the mute let her powers manifest to decorate the room with more illusions.

Lights, colors, perfect and clean walls and a floor completely covered by an elegant rug. In the center of the room, a large and long table, filled with teacups, dishes...tea, cookies and other sweets, and empty chairs.

But she didn't stop her dance, she continued, now around the table before her other self held her by the lower side of her back; the original one flexing herself rather dramatically after.

That unmistakable pink glow kept spreading through the basement, giving life to those lies who would soon materialize in the form of the people she's been turning into a minute ago.

Around the table, they sat down, each of them with their own personalities and their own voice. At first glance, as if they had their own conscience.

L̸̤̚i̸̝͠e̷̝͑s̵̪̃.̶̯͛

She wanted to see how many she could create at the same time. How many people and how many clones she could make until she was really exhausted. Testing her limits and pushing herself to the hardest limit she could give herself.

Her heart was beating as she moved around the basement with grace, dodging every new decoration that her imagination materialized, but never stopping the dance with herself.

The table was full, the voices almost drowned the music. One, two, three, four...she could count up to twenty people. And she was sweating. Maybe mental fatigue, worse than those physical trainings that she was so used to.

Once she twirled around the table a few times, she stopped in front of the chairs on one of the ends of this one, letting her other self hug her from behind and let her chin rest against her shoulder.

After one of her gloved hands moved up to caress the side of her clone's face, Neo let out a soft chuckle and felt her throat closing, before she stomped on the floor with one of her paws and let her powers manifest a bunch of Jabberwalkers.

One, two, three...she could count up to six.

Twenty people, six of her own monsters. And this was only making a small effort. Like running around the racing track three or four times.

After observing her own tea party, her other self stopped hugging her so she could go, and, with a small hop, Neo got on top of the table and started to dodge with skill all those little things that decorated the surface.

The Mad Hatter was condemned to an eternal tea party for 'killing Time' in a concert for the Queen of Hearts. Neo would enjoy her eternal tea party for being condemned for 'killing the Time' of her superiors years ago.

Once she got to the center of the table, the assassin manifested her weapon in hand, and after looking at all her 'guests' for a moment, she made all of them change their appearance so they would look like herself.

To who she was now.

Obediently, the twenty copies stood up, and a second after, the real Neo started to rush towards the clones with all her strength, one after the other, swinging the parasol with mastery as if it was some kind of club, but from time to time, also elegantly and with a hand behind her back.

Maybe another person would've been incapable of 'killing themselves' from beating themselves to death. Twenty times. With reactions as normal as if they would've been real.

Her illusions could take a beating. Now laying on the floor, bloodied in their own golden blood after having endured the original's beating, and not long after, Neo started to kill them for good, unsheathing the hidden blade of her parasol to do so.

Every time she impaled one of them with her sword, these finally disappeared the same way they appeared at first- broken in a million pieces of pink glass until they disappeared completely, as if the wind had blown away the dust left behind.

Engrossed in her own illusion, the fallen angel would end up with cleaning the whole room with her murders, letting herself fall on her knees on the floor before she started laughing.

The moment that another drop of exhaustion slipped from her forehead to one of her cheeks, the mute snapped her fingers and everything around her started to disappear.

L̸̤̚i̸̝͠e̷̝͑s̵̪̃.̶̯͛

No more decorations, or lights, not even her monsters or the eternal tea party. Not even her other self.

Only Neo and the lies that she was now capable of fabricating.

[pickupthephoneboy]

OOC: Well you guys voted for it on the Levi blog, now it's here. (@never-gets-sick pspspsps)

INTRODUCING: Ross crying in the bathroom.

The Cold Floor

(Heavy topics might be applied)

Welcome back to Nimone, they say. You're back home, they say. But it doesn't feel like home anymore.

I stood in the dusty bathroom of my old home. A place that I once grew up and loved, now abandon and left to be forgotten.

It was quiet, dark, and dust covered the whole room in a gray fragile blanket. Only spiders now occupied this room, nesting by the toilet and shower. Not even the lights cpuld turn on because the bulbs either died out or no one paid ghe electricity bill.

I wiped my glove across the sink mirror, staring at my reflection. It was just me in this bathroom. Alone in this enclosed space.

I shut the door in order to have privacy. I don't feel safe when others are safe. They can't see me like this, no matter how much I try to hide it.

Everything was starting to settle in. This week has been Hell front and back, I hate it. Too much stress, work stole my sleep, and everyone is in pain. I'm failing as a captain.....

This trip to Nimone has been a mistake, all it did was create pain and suffering for everyone. Now, the whole world is at risk at two crazy scientists. If I didn't get everyone involved in my affairs to beat up the men who hurt my sister Ikuo wouldn't have had new scars, Ikari wouldn't have had been snatched away, and Scarlett wouldn't have to be in pain again.

I feel hurt, and I'm not the one who even got physical hurt as well. But it pains me to stand by the side and let this all happen just because I can't come up with a good plan. None of this would have happened if I was good enough.

I may have won battles before on my own as a mass weapon machine, and I may have led our men through war like a leader, but that was years ago I'm not the same weapons I was trained to be. Hell some of that stuff was winged, I was never good at planning and men lost their lives because of it.

Scarlett once asked on our way here, "What would mom and dad think of me when we arrive?" She doesn't know does she? That dad left one day for no reason? That mom became a sad woman and died from sickness? That I wasn't there to protect any of them?

I felt my hands grip onto the sink tighter.

What type of captain am I, if I can't even keep my own family apart? What type of son am I, who couldn't support his own mom when she was sad? What type of brother am I, when I couldn't even protect my own sister?

My hands start to turn into fist and my knees slowly bend to the cold floor. The safe abandoned floor, covered in dirt and dust. It's the only thing I trust that can support me. I can't been seen as weak in front of others....

I felt my weight finally collapsed and I let put a heavy sigh. Not now Ross, I can't break down now. I have to get back to working, but I can't. Everything that I come up with is a bust. Nothing is working.

I became a failure and everyone knows it.....

I could feel my throat tightening, as I gazed at my pathetic state in the mirror. Eye bags under my eyes, my hair is a mess, and part of my outfit is ruined. This is really my life huh? Being a constant mess.

Now slumped to the floor, I continued to gaze at myself. I look like a fool, a failure, I'm not cut out of any of this. After all these years I don't think I can continue like this.

My vision starts to blur, I bite my lip but muffled cries start to force their way out. I gripped my head in my hands and held it to my knees. Soon before I knew it I was crying on the cold floor. A sense of desa vu washed over me, I been in this moment before. And now it has come back to haunt me again.

I don't remember when I passed out, all I remember was that I felt alone and worthless in that moment.

[cosmiclion]

Think I finlly have an idea of what I want to do with Alois in my Familiar AU, might make more changes but this is more a brainstorm so bear with me 🙏 (Discussions of some canon-typical dark stuff under the cut plus it got a bit long lmao).

What if, instead of directly being taken from the village by the head of the Trancy estate, he was kidnapped by the same people who kidnapped the twins, at around the same time (meaning he was 6 years old), who then sold him to that pervert. Before being sold he met the twins and formed a brief friendship with them while they tried to comfort each other.

His parents were still alive, and little Luka (I think it's not clear what their age difference was but I don't think more than three years) grew up hearing about his big bro. When both parents died he was left alone to suffer the mistreatment of the villagers.

The contract with Hannah goes the same as in canon, but when she's about to take his soul he begs her to find his brother and protect him, as a last wish. She promises she'll do it and feels bound to that promise.

Since Alois was way younger when he got him, instead of outright abusing him the man grooms him from the beginning and the boy grows up thinking such behavior is normal and not knowing any better. He also inherits the estate.

Somehow Hannah finally finds him. She passes as a maid and infiltrates the estate and, after earning the man's trust, one night she simply makes him die in his sleep. She then reveals herself as a demon to Alois and tells him she's been sent by his brother, but Alois hates her for killing who he thinks is the only person who has ever loved him. However he can't get rid of her no matter what he does.

Eventually she earns his trust too (mainly because she just won't go away) and, with time and patience, helps him understand that what that man did to him was not, in fact, love and was plain wrong. She also helps him understand and process his trauma and try to heal (she's not really introverted and subservient in this AU, and acts more as a firm but patient mother).

By the time he's 13 he's better adjusted, although still having issues (mainly with attachment) and still having a similar personality to in canon (with some parts of it very mellowed out). Hannah has officially become his demonic foster parent, thus mirroring Sebas and Ciel. She decides he could try going to Weston.

OCiel studies at Weston in this verse too. When he starts studying he and Alois meet again. They remember each other but Ciel doesn't tell him he's not really Ciel, just that his brother died, and none tells the other what they really went through.

Alois has tried to make friends since he started at Weston, but he can be too overbearing and exhausting to be around, sometimes just unnerving, and has a bad habit of not respecting people's boundaries. The other boys (at least most of them) are polite and civil with him and will work with him if school activities require it, but they try not to interact with him too much.

While Ciel and Alos's personalities couldn't be any more different, the former still offers his friendship to the latter (in his own way), gets the other boys to really know Alois, and even helps Alois work on himself more and learn to get close to people without scaring them away (he might have shouted at him a couple of times when he got too clingy but that's part of the learning process ✌️).

Alois didn't remember his real name and Ciel only remembered him saying he was called Jim when they first met. Either way Alois has fully embraced his new name and decided to create his own legacy.

His biggest fear is being abandoned. His second biggest fear is people finding out about his past and being disgusted by him.

I haven't decided yet if Hannah reveals to Alois that she took Luka's soul or if she tells him he simply died. I need to think how it'd go either way.

Also still haven't fully decided what to do with Claude and the triplets or if to include them at all. Maybe I'll include them but I'll make them Just Be There for no reason bc it'd be funny.

[theblurbwitchproject]

The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna

Published: August 23, 2022 Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton

The Author

Sangu Mandanna writes books about magical sketchbooks, romantic witches, and characters who discover they’re a lot stronger than they think they are. She was four years old when an elephant chased her down a forest road and she decided to write her first story about it. Seventeen years and many, many manuscripts later, she signed her first book deal. Sangu now lives in Norwich, in the east of England, with her husband and kids.

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The Story As one of the few witches in Britain, Mika Moon knows she has to hide her magic, keep her head down, and stay away from other witches so their powers don’t mingle and draw attention. She’s used to being alone and she follows the rules...with one exception: an online account, where she posts videos "pretending" to be a witch. She thinks no one will take it seriously. But someone does.

An unexpected message arrives, begging her to travel to the remote and mysterious Nowhere House to teach three young witches how to control their magic. It breaks all of the rules, but Mika goes anyway, and is immediately tangled up in the lives and secrets of not only her three charges, but also an absent archaeologist, a retired actor, two long-suffering caretakers, and the handsome and prickly librarian of Nowhere House, Jamie.

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The Vibe: cosy, found family, (one-sided) enemies to lovers, romance, eccentric characters, grumpy/sunshine pairing, diverse cast, LGBTQ+ characters

The Style: standalone, cosy romance, easy-going prose, wholesome, whimsical

Trigger Warnings: discussion of past homophobia, child abuse, abandonment issues, sex

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The Review

You know what? I loved this book.

I’m not a big reader of romance, and am often turned off by cutesy sounding plots, but I am so glad I gave this a go. I was in a pretty bad reading slump, just not really enjoying anything I picked up, but this sweet little novel really pulled me out of that funk. I’ve seen negative reviews of The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches calling it too “twee” but seriously... the title alone tells you twee is what you’re getting, let alone the protagonist being named Mika Moon. I picked up this book wanting twee, and it was lovingly presented by Mandanna.

As the blurb explains, the plot centres on Mika, an Indian born witch in her early-thirties who only gets to interact with other witches at pre-decided meetings once every three months. These meetings are run by Primrose, the powerful witch and stickler for the rules who raised Mika. The rest of the time the witches avoid each other so as not to draw the public’s attention to their power. When Mika is invited to care for three young witches at Nowhere House, who, going completely against the rules, live under one roof as adopted sisters, she encounters something that she has never had but desperately wants; a family. Now, I’m a sucker for a good found-family trope, and this book really delivers on that front.

“Over the years, Mika had embraced all the things that made her different and had discovered that she liked herself very much. But what was that worth without human connection? How was it possible to live, truly live, without the companionship of other people, without a family formed in any of the thousands of ways families could be formed?”

The writing style is very easy-going, but where Mandanna shines is creating unique and diverse characters, including: Ian, an elder gay “luvvie”-type English theatre actor who knits rainbow scarves; Ken, his Japanese, professional gardener husband; Lucie, the round-cheeked and loving housekeeper; and Jamie, the scowling but handsome Irish librarian. And that’s just the adults of Nowhere House; the three young witches are also fantastic: there’s Rosetta who is 10, black, friendly and an avid reader; Terracotta, 8, Vietnamese, rebellious and  fierecly protective of her family, and Altamira, 7, Palestinian, hilarious, and maybe my favourite character in the entire book. And lets not forget Circe, the friendly golden labrador.

One of the outstanding aspects of this story was the examination of intersectionality among the different characters. Each of the witches at Nowhere House not only have magical powers, but are people of colour living in England; “They were witches, they weren’t white, and they’d been born far away. Much as they might all wish otherwise, there would always be people who would question whether they were British enough, normal enough, anything enough.” I also admired the inclusion of Ian and Ken’s desire to protect the young girls, having their own experiences living on the fringes of society. It’s all so thoughtful. And the characters are all so lovely, even cranky Jamie who  has “the soul of a cantankerous old man who yells at little kids to get off his lawn”, but in actuality likes kids more than he does most adults. The found family aspect feels so solid in this book; they feel like they have years of history. Nowhere House also feels super cosy and real- I want to move in like yesterday.

“It’s not always enough to go looking for the place we belong,” Jamie said, his eyes on the house ahead. “Sometimes we need to make that place.”

As I said earlier, I’m not massive on the romance genre, but I did enjoy the grumpy/sunshine pairing in this story, it has a good slow-burn progression that felt natural. And it gets a little spicy too, just fyi. I did enjoy that there was reasoning behind Jamies’ attitude; he’s not just a crank for no reason. Like Terracotta, he is fiercly protective of his family unit and puts their safety before anything else.

There is a good level of new witch-lore in this story, from witches going into a state of hibernation if they get seriously injured while their body repairs itself, to the methods Mika uses to harvest ingredients for her potions. The only thing I wanted more of was the inclusion of the lessons Mika delivers to the girls. They’re all so entertaining, especially Altamira, who is a perfectly written child who drops some hilarious swear words even though she’s only seven. And her logic of “I’ll stop when Ian and Jamie do” is totally fair in my book. Seeing more of their growth and development as young witches would have been great, particularly as that was the reason behind Mika’s moving to Nowhere House to begin with.

“The thing is, being a witch is extraordinary,” she said. “It might seem sometimes that all we are is odd and different, but the truth is, we’re amazing. We’re part of the earth below us and the sky above us. Our veins echo the patterns of rivers and roots. There’s sunlight and moonlight in our bones.”

This book was just so nice. I desperately want a sequel or five. There are plenty of options for world building, and I want more of Rosetta, Terracotta and Altamira learning to control their powers. Sangu, if you’re reading- pretty please expand this lovely universe? It was a lovely escape from reality that I will probably return to in the future.

Rating: 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗 

[Goodreads]