#from hurting people who deserve it sometimes but i love him oh my gosh

[tvrningout]

going insane thinking about how soft and warm cyrillo will be with his loved ones but absolutely ruthless and unforgiving with the people who hurt them : ) he'll literally wipe your tears away and comfort you and then go shed some blood just minutes later and i'm just saying... sure is a good thing he's part of the protagonists bc he could so easily be an antagonist if i spun his story differently :' ))

[anonzentimes]

You're one of my favorite people on here, I love komaeda so much, oh my god

infodump about whatever you want about komaeda NOW!! (if you want, you dont actually have to)

RAGGG!!!!! you're so so sweet oh my gosh ❤️❤️ Sure i'll talk about komaeda! I'll just say what I've been thinking about specifically today.

I was thinking about the fact that Nagito can suppress sides of him today, when he needs to he's able to suppress some of his personality for people. I think the reason Nagito is "normal," before his freakout is not only for the plot twist but because he's trying to make a good impression for Hajime. And once he's even more interested in Hajime he wants his attention, He's always by his side at any chance he gets. I think Hajime just generally stood out to him because he felt a connection with him on a spiritual level and acted upon his curiosity. Why would he be the only one to stay behind and wake up Hajime otherwise? I think he had the gut instinct I do when I feel as if I need to talk to somebody who interests me.

His "facade," is sort of like how when you meet new people and you're not entirely showing your true self fully yet, I think he does that. He's able to suppress parts of himself for other people.

Nagito is always wanting Hajime's attention, he respects his personal space and beliefs but mostly wants to be around him. He's also VERY observant, even when he doesn't understand social cues sometimes his ability to observe others is a big factor about him. He observes Hajime a lot.

Which is honestly weird, isn't he afraid of getting close to people? He usually avoids his classmates, he thinks he isn't deserving of reciprocation, and yet he stayed by Hajime's side. He made an effort to talk normally enough that Hajime would like him. He even went swimming without any complaints, probably because he still doesn't want to lose his attention.

He continues this behavior throughout the game, even in Chapter 4 he uses the fact he has information to get Hajime's attention.

He doesn't think he's worth the ultimates time, and yet, he's always drawn to Hajime. He's always after Hajime's approval, it's so oddly fascinating to me. It's not an obsession thing, but he just really loves him for some reason. It feels more like an irrational emotion, it's not warped love, it's not about status, and It proceeds on even when he knows he's a despair.

I wonder if maybe, just maybe, if Nagito saw his suicide plan as freeing Hajime from Despair. Maybe that's how he justifies it with his emotions. And in an odd sense a horrible proclamation of love.

Sorry this kind of turned into Komahina more than anything lmao, but mostly I'm just thinking about how weird it is that he likes him, like why? What is it about him that Nagito is so infatuated with him? It goes against what he usually does, was he just really that special that he becomes irrational to his typical behaviors?

And in the free time events he's even more infatuated because he believes Hajime is amazing for tolerating him. He pushes him away so he doesn't get harmed by his luck cycle, but also to hopefully to get Hajime kill him. He wants him to escape, he wants him to create hope. Because he believes someone as great as Hajime can create amazing hope. And then his love confession???? AUGH his love confession like, it's so complicated. Did he bail out because he didn't want him to get hurt by his luck cycle? Did he bail out because he doesn't think he's worthy? LIKE??? He's so crazy.

Nagito's so interesting, his irrational infatuation with Hajime next to his warped beliefs, luck cycle, warped love, and intense obsession with hope to the point that he becomes morally grey over it makes him such a wonderful and entertaining character.

[regulusrules]

New to your blog, I was wondering if you have a Merlin fic rec list that's just your favorites. I unfortunately missed the Merlin fandom back when the show was airing so I always feel like I'm just missing the greatest stuff from other people

Hello friend! Welcome to my humble abode of a blog (which resembles more of a Merlin waste disposal). Like you, I missed the show when it was airing, but honestly when you stay as long in this fandom as I have, you will constantly be exposed to wonderful creative energies that give their all. It's a timeless fandom, one of the very few, and no matter when you enter it you will always feel fulfilled. :)

So, favourite fics! Gosh, how can I fit 2K+ bookmarks in one ask. When it comes to this fandom, I admit: I have no life. I've read a real huge number of fics throughout the years, but sometimes it's inevitable for fics to get lost in a sea of bookmarks. So to make things easier, I'll write you some canon fics that immediately come to my mind for how unforgettable they were.

No order; each one has its own chamber in my heart.

Short fic recs (1K-50K)

1. Our broken pieces by @aramblingjay. 10K, T, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort.

Am I purposefully putting this one on top this time so that everyone who stumbles across this ask could check it out? Yes. Yes I am. Is it my personal mission for the fandom to give this fic the love and kudos it deserves? You bet it's a big overbearing yes. And yes I want you to cry and feel your heart twist with agony because of how beautiful it is. My eyes never shed tears for a fic before this one, and never will after it. There is something in the way the author broke Arthur that just resonated in my innards. And the way Merlin was there for him, not a placebo "I'm here" but there, in all actuality, doing so with every fiber of his love, made it something else. I like to believe that this fic was crafted so perfectly in a parallel universe, and sent to us as a blessing we never knew we needed.

2. Beauty in the Ashes of Our Lives by Fulgance. 21K, T, Canon AU, Magic Reveal.

This is probably the umpteenth time for me to recommend this fic, but I won't stop. I can't stop. This fic ruined me so slowly, and healed me even slower. All my Merlin friends do not believe why this would be one of my favourite fics of all time with what Arthur did, but honestly, it's the fact that the writer wrote it so convincingly that makes me crumble internally. It isn't easy to write angry Arthur, and it's even harder to write him grief-stricken, but here, the author blended both elements so perfectly. It's impossible to forget this fic. It's worth your every second.

3. Linger On Your Pale Blue Eyes by supercalvin. 18K, T, Canon Era, Touch-Starved.

Will this fic linger in your heart? It sure as hell never leaves mine. Every once in a while, I have to go back to this fic and read it like a morning paper. Some fics sustain you.. this is definitely one of them. Most of @supercalvin's fics are of sustaining material. They are made with such depth and broad understanding to the characters that you should take notes. There's this one line that everytime I cross this fic I instantly remember and I go to the nearest pillow to just AAA a little bit. When you reach it, I'm sure you'll recognise it, and I'll be waiting for you to come AAA with me.

4. Dower the Stars by RurouniHime. 40K, E, Golden Age, Pining Arthur, BAMF Merlin.

I don't think anything levels the levels of intimacy in this fic. It is one of the best Arthur characterizations I've ever read. His boundless love and pining for Merlin— oh my heart. Also, the world building and amount of research that must have been done for this fic is astounding. I was this close from following the author's footsteps and, idk, writing an entire research paper about Arthurian lore or something. The moment I read it I immediately wanted to contact the author and just tell them WHY ARE YOU BLESSING US WITH ALL THIS INSTEAD OF PUBLISHING IT?? It was amazing. I reread it a month ago for the third (fourth?) time and found myself gasping and aweing as if I never read it before. It keeps being an experience every time, one so worthwhile.

5. from hearth and ashes, we’re reborn by @remuscariad. 5K, G, Canon AU, Magic Reveal, Hurt/Comfort.

Earthshatteringly-poetic isn't a made-up word powerful enough to describe the beauty of prose here. There are fics that you open and immediately know that you're sold: this was one of them. Its summary alone dropped my jaw down to my neighbour's floor. The dialogue is so meticulously crafted it feels like reading a piece from a past era. Genuinely beautiful.

6. Half of my soul by marvelxpendragon. 2K, G, Post-Canon AU, King Arthur/Court Sorcerer Merlin.

This fic is half of my soul, as the poets say. So what if I reject the canonic ending and resort to pain myself with fics like this instead? I sometimes feel we, as a fandom, try to up the angst of the finale so that we forget how painful it was by bringing even MORE pain. But it's pain that I delight in, because it's pain that MAKES SENSE. Yes give me MCD but with a freaking beautiful life like the one this author gave us. Make me believe it was all worth something. Make me believe they lived.

7. whisper to the flame by @missfaber. 16K, E, Canon AU, Wounded Arthur, Hurt/Comfort.

*clears throat* *prepares for a mental scream*TELL ME HOW YOU LIGHT YOUR FIRESSSSS *clears throat once more and pretends I'm okay*

So, as the author wrote, this is indeed a love letter to the two characters we love more than anything. More than anything, I loved the fact that the author gave Arthur agency to think and act and be a king, even when he was still a prince. Even in most fics where Arthur already knows, this isn't common. So whenever I find a fic that has Smart!Arthur and a lovesick one at that, I would vouch my life and soul for it. Also Protective!Knights is the best thing in the world, ok? I would die for this discourse for real.

8. As a Sea Shell by bathilda bagshot (wellthengameover). 12K, T, Canon AU, Slow Burn.

Okay, so this fic is only bookmarked "Agony until 7 AM", and with that, a rush of drowning memories always come crushing my soul. I lost sleep and SANITY over this fic. I was thrown from a cliff and kept hanging in the air without a respite until the very END. I read it a couple weeks after the finale and it broke me even FURTHER. I was promised growing old together, and it was a big LIE. And yet I love it so, so dearly.

Honourary biased mention:

9. My heart is readily yours by yours truly. 11K, T, Canon AU, Protective Arthur, Hurt/Comfort.

Sometimes I don't believe I had it in me to write this. Like.. what, dearest self, the hell were you thinking. With tyismso, I somehow balanced fluff and angst— a solid magic reveal fic. But this one? I only knew ✨pain✨

.. and I don't regret a thing.

[Long fic recs]

[ordinaryschmuck]

❤️🤍💔💘🖤 for your Team Action characters?

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

(Oh, my gosh) Um...Three good things: I'm better than the piece of shit I was before, I'm a lot more humble, and I like to THINK I'm a good leader. Neutral things: I can get a little angry (Can you blame me?), I tend to break things when I'm not careful, and I have a shit sleeping schedule. As for three negative things: I drink a lot, I'm bad with money, and I guess you could say I have a lot of guilt stored in me. Big deal. As for who's the most important to me, I'd guess it'd be...my dad. Even if I'm not important to him. And I haven't...directly killed...anyone...But I've wounded people before. Some by accident. And I've definitely broken my mom's heart. And my dad's trust. And...Okay, can someone ELSE go on please? For the love of--

Okay, okay! My turn. Three good things: I don't give up easily, I always learn from my mistakes--

Meaning you learn how to beat someone after they kicked your ass.

--AND I have good routines in place to make me the best hero I could be. Three neutral things: As we just established I don't have the best diet, I can't really cook, and I worry what other people think of me. As for negative things: I do tend to go in without much of a plan, I don't win many fights, and I...Well, my girlfriend has said I could be better in the relationship, I guess. BUT, speaking of her, she's the most important person to me, right next to Max (whether they like it or not) and my parents. Even if...they're not here right now. And I don't think I've broken anyone's heart or trust--I really hope I haven't. But I've definitely wounded some criminals...Sometimes.

Three positives: I'm awesome, I'm handsome, and I've got the coolest power there is. Three neutrals: Could be faster, could be hotter, and could be more awesome. And three negatives--

Your ego's bigger than a whale, your brain's smaller than a peanut.

And you don't clean up after yourself.

...I was going to say none, but alright. As for who's most important to me, that would be my bestest bro Leon. Don't think I've ever hurt anyone, though. At least no one but the baddies.

...Thank you for saying I'm most important to you. And...ditto. As for three positives, I'm smart, good at gymnastics, and I'm punctual. My three neutrals would probably be how I'm not that athletic, I don't know much about fighting aside from...free-styling it, and I could be a little more confident. Then there's my negatives, which is the fact that...I'm not the bravest. Or the strongest. And I don't do well under pressure...at all. But my mom's okay with it. And Zach. It's what makes them both so important to me. And I don't think I've hurt anyone either. Except for bad guys, of course.

Positives: I'm the smartest person on the planet, no contest. I'm quick and to the point with everything. And I'm honest about stuff that's important. Neutrals? None. Negatives? Also none.

How about the fact that you're way too rude for no reason?

And has a temper shorter than you are.

And are constantly childish.

Pbbt! As for who's important to me, that was my parents but they blew up. So I guess all I have is Emily and this suit. And I haven't killed anyone, but if I did, they'd most likely deserved it.

Well, someone needs a hug later. Anyways, MY TURN! Positives: I'm kind, I help anyone and everyone, and I have good teeth. Maa said so. Neutrals: I love to eat sugar, I have yet mastered turning into anything bigger than a gorilla, and I sometimes forget to wash my hands after picking up litter. Negatives: I can't help everyone all at once, I can't convince everybody to stop fighting, and I stay up too late reading Fluffy Tales fan fiction (It's so good!). The most important people in my life are my family and each and every one of you guys!

Aw!

And I've never hurt anyone. Not emotionally, not physically, and I never will.

I'm capable of taking care of myself by myself, I'm direct, and I don't tell people how to live their lives as long as they're not hurting anyone else. Those are my positives. I don't really have any neutrals, but my negatives are my powers, my emotions, and my nightmares. The most important person in my life...isn't even here and I...I'm not answering that last one.

You kind of have to--

I'm not!

Okay!

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Oh noo poor lady D:

Ayy a donor!

Huh lol?

Ope xD-

OH GOSH OPE O.O Didn't realize he thought he WAS xd xD

Hmm that is a little conflicting xD

Like if he can donate lol

Oop-

IT BETTER BE ABOUT-

YES. AS DESERVED 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️!!

Sorry I just love him and I'm glad he has people who love him and therefore miss him xdd

OOPE he's not supposed to know o.o

Hmm I mean in his/normality's defense it was probably on the news lol

That's what I was thinking for a second there xD

Anyway 😭😭😭 aww honeyy :'((

About carrying sadness

That episode looks like it's gonna be wild xD

Okay, that's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I absolutely loved this episode!!! I also hated it withy entire being, once again xdd 😭. Like last week lol. ALTHOUGH AT LEAST LAST WEEK I GOT ASHER ALIVE 😭😭💔-

Anyway xD

Rude of them to alienate me, their biggest fan, like this lol

XDD I'm joking lol but seriously ouch xdd xD

Now, quick thing. Had this earlier and then decided to leave it for the review (put it in my finishing up liveblogging after the show, at the beginning of that last scene).

Also just, serious (as if this all isn't) moment here, I wish I could do my review tonight but it's not gonna happen. Like it shouldn't xd. I wish I could do it with my emotions fresh but my plan from the beginning was to get back into some fluffy stuff after this and I need it. I really miss Asher terribly and it hurts so badly <3. But it's also kind of bringing my own grief into my head and I can't be sitting in that right now. It's a really beautiful episode and despite how many times it made me sob I really did enjoy it xd, and I'm not msd or anything, but it's still true. Obviously it isn't as raw as all this, even though that's feeding into my tears xd, but the kind of more removed and adult part of me is telling me "yeah, you're genuinely feeling this ache extra" and I need to take care of myself. Again, absolutely love the episode, it's just how it is <3.

I'm feeling a little lighter about it now and feeling closer to my original thoughts and intentions but yeah <3.

I promise I'm doing okay like genuinely, past all the show stuff. It may absolutely break my heart but when it comes down to it it's just a show. In life, I am alright <3

Nonetheless my therapist will be hearing about this 😭😭 xD.

Genuinely lol I might mention it I see her tomorrow xD.

Also, I'm going to go post that paragraph separate as well :). See you sometime in the future!

Anyways :))

Okay now it's the day of the next next episode (I was busy for the one after this one) so I'm just gonna say this episode was HEARTBREAKING but so good 😭.

I'm gonna try and come back and edit this later (yes I know I ever do but it comforts me lol)! But yeah, amazing episode, those flashbacks destroyed me.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! Despite how much it broke me heart lol. But everyone did really well and I'm glad we got to really sit in the grief <3. It hurt xd, but Asher deserves to have people grieving him, and narratively deserves the time taken for it. I'm glad everything turned out as okay as possible with the MCE too <3. Everyone did great :'). And I'm so glad Shaun and Charlie had a good moment!! There's some understanding there now :')).

So yeah! It was an amazing episode, and it absolutely killed me. I'm excited for the next one! This has been my review for. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 6: M. C. E.

It was so good! I'm a little nervous for the next episode, and sad still, but I'm so excited! I'll be back next week with my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 7, Episode 7: Faith

See you then!

[sostrangerous]

this new chapter kind of triggered me just a little bit because it brought back memories and while I love Mark and want to wrap him up and hug him and tell him that he needs to believe people love him I feel like I’m Jeno and Jaemin in this situation because I had somebody kind of do a little freak out over being closeted towards me and it escalated pretty far and I knew that their mental health was in bad shape but they really hurt me and it felt like they didn’t see how it hurt me too not only them. so I feel like I’m mad at Mark and I just want him to get out of his own head and realize that he hurt Jaemin and Jeno but he needs to stop throwing a pity party for himself like him hurting them is not about him. It’s about them. I hope that Mark can apologize without making it about himself. I don’t hope for Jaemin and Jeno to hold a grudge but I just hope that they realize that they deserve better than to be treated poorly by somebody that they love even if Mark is having mental health issues it doesn’t excuse his shitty behavior and I hope that Mark realizes that people love him and want to take care of him and that he is smart and beautiful. Your characterization of just makes me wanna cry like every time I read I just think oh my gosh Mark you’re so great I just need you to seek help.

mark began this fic unable to even admit to his own depression, so he's def come a long way. i wrote him as a very closed off person who kind of gets forcibly peeled open, so his bad decisions are meant to come from that core trait of being unable to communicate well. actually several times in editing I've gone back in and changed his spoken words into internal dialogue bc this man always says less than half of what he's thinking

i don't think it was ever possible for him to come to terms with his own actions while he was in that closed off mode, we'll have to see if he's any better at it now

multiple people have said he's frustrating which i take as a compliment, no matter how much you love him he's also undeniably a destructive dumbass sometimes. guys who are dumb <3

[b6cky]

smitten

synopsis: sam had invited both y/n and bucky around for one of his family’s infamous barbecues. bucky can’t help how in love he is with y/n after watching them hang around with the kids.

pairing: bucky barnes x gn!reader

tags/warnings: just pure heart wrenching fluff!

taglist: @inu1gf @sp1deys ( send ask to be added )

author’s notes: it is 2am i can’t sleep so please enjoy my brainrotting!! (it’s not 6am i managed to take that long writing this short little thing) :’)

“bucky! my man!” sam pulled bucky in close for a tight embrace. despite their differences, bucky and sam were very good friends especially after everything with the flag smashers went down.

“it’s good t’see you, sam,” bucky pulled away smiling warmly at sam, “i brought wine.”

“buck, you don’t have to bring wine every time you visit, man!” sam shook his head, smiling a little bit, “you’re gonna end up thinking i invite you over just for the damn wine.”

“who says i don’t think that already?” bucky raised an eyebrow, teasing his friend, “i’m kiddin’ sam, i’m just kidding.”

“everyone’s out back, i think y/n will be here soon though,” sam smirked, nudging bucky.

“what? don’t tell me you’re still on that,” bucky groaned, “y/n and i are just friends, nothing more.”

“not yet.”

“watch it, pal.” bucky pointed a finger at sam as a warning, but they both knew nothing would come from it. bucky wouldn’t hurt sam, at least, he tried his best not to. sometimes sam was a very punchable person.

“y/n!!” sam’s two nephews sprinted passed bucky and sam to jump up into y/n’s arms.

“where was my hello..” bucky pouted, jokingly, “i should quit bringing wine and start bringing apple juice.”

“hey AJ! hey cass! you two.. hm, what’s different?” y/n leant down, squinting at the two boys, “you two have grown since i last saw you! gosh, you two are going to be taller than me soon!”

“see i told you i grew!” AJ hissed at his younger brother, who just rolled his eyes.

“i grew too! right, y/n!” cass looked up at y/n, who just grinned at the boy.

“absolutely, champ! now, let me say hi to your uncle sam and buck real quick, i’ll meet you out back and i’ll teach you something real cool, okay?” y/n laughed as the two boys hurriedly ran back out the house, excited to learn whatever y/n was going to teach them.

“sam! thanks so much for inviting me over, i brought wine!” y/n smiled, handing sam a paper bag and then wrapping their arms around him for a tight hug.

“hello to you too, y/n,” bucky laughed.

“i’m gettin’ to you, wait your turn, old man.” y/n pulled away from sam.

“it’s good to see you, y/n! how’s life been treating you?” sam asked.

“pretty good, i’ve been watching morgan a lot for pep, god knows that woman needs a break from being a mom once in a while,” y/n smiled, “hey, bucky, how’re you doing, old man?”

bucky opened his arms for a hug, “you know, you don’t have to point out the fact i’m a hundred years old every time you see me.”

y/n wrapped their arms around bucky and hugged him tight, “one hundred and six, actually.”

“yeah, yeah,” bucky rolled his eyes, pulling away from the hug.

“so, how’s the dating thing going? meet anyone special?” sam asked, bucky shooting him a look.

“oh, yeaah.. the dating thing…” y/n laughed bitterly, “i’m starting to think i might just not see anyone, all the people i’ve seen are either too up their ass, or just want to date to brag about ‘banging an avenger’, honestly the gall of some of these people!”

“did someone actually say that to you?” bucky narrowed his eyes, feeling both sorry for them and slightly protective. y/n was a genuinely nice person with a good heart, they deserved nothing but the best in bucky’s mind.

“yeah, this guy.. what was his name? one of the big three, i think it was,” y/n paused trying to remember his name.

“the big three? wizards, aliens, or cyborgs?” bucky furrowed his eyebrows together, confused on what the big three had to do with the date.

“no, no,” y/n chuckled, “the big three, chad, brad and thad.”

“that’s on you for going out with a guy with one of those names, y/n.” sam laughed.

“people name their kids thad..? holy cow these newer generations are getting worse with names.” bucky mumbled, making y/n laugh.

“you really got the whole old man shtick on point, huh?”

“y’know that joke gets funnier every time you repeat it,” bucky quipped sarcastically.

“y/n!!!” both of sam’s nephews yelled out for them.

“well, that’s my cue, i’ll catch up with you two later, if you need any help just holler!” y/n smiled and then rushed out of the house, “coming you two!”

“boy, you are whipped.” sam laughed.

“what? i am not.”

“yeah right, you are absolutely smitten.” sam crossed his arms.

“sam, shut up, before i shut you up.”

“okay, this is going to make all the girls love you, or boys, who knows!” y/n chuckled at the two boys in front of them. the three of them were all sat on a little grass patch together and the two boys were staring at y/n intently.

“what is it!” cass yelled.

“daisy chains and flower crowns!” y/n grinned.

“woah!!” the two boys exclaimed.

“wait, what’s that?” AJ scrunched up his face in confusion.

“so, you’re going to get some daisies, lucky for you i picked some before i got here! and then you’re going to very carefully pinch a little hole into the stem, you have to be careful with this part, and then you grab another daisy and you just slide the stem through the little hole you made aaaaand, bam! that’s the start of your daisy chain that you can make into a flower crown!” y/n grinned, showing off the tiny daisy chain that they had made.

“that’s so cool!” cass smiled.

“i’m going to make one for you, y/n!” AJ grinned.

“thank you!” y/n laughed, grabbing the basket of daisies that they picked earlier that day and putting it in the middle of all three of them.

“gosh, they are just so amazing with the boys,” sarah smiled, taking a sip from her glass of wine and watching y/n with her two sons.

“can’t wait for the day they have some of their own kids running around, little y/n jr,” sam laughed, but bucky didn’t join in with the conversation the two wilson siblings were having and just watched y/n with the two boys. a soft smile spreading across his face and his eyes held such a tender look that sam almost couldn’t poke fun at him. almost.

“earth to lover boy, hellooo!” sam waved his hand in front of bucky’s face and bucky grabbed his hand and shot him a look.

“why don’t you just go over to them, talk with them for a little bit,” sarah chuckled, fully aware of bucky’s not so secret feelings for y/n. it was painfully obvious… and sam had a pretty big mouth.

“i have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.” he grabbed his glass of beer and put it to his mouth, hiding his face from the two’s shared unimpressed looks.

“buck, just go and sit with them, i know you want to,” sam grinned.

“if it’ll make you shut up, then sure.” bucky took a gulp of his beer, before slamming the glass back down on the table and making his way over to y/n.

“that boy is smitten.”

“it’s almost adorable.” sam laughed.

“hey, y/n.” bucky sat down next to y/n on the grass, awkwardly trying to find a comfortable way to sit, “AJ, cass, whaddya got there?”

“these are daisy chains! we are making crowns!” cass explained, holding his daisy chain up for bucky to see.

“hey, buck! here, wait, sit still..” y/n reached to their side and pulled up a flower crown and carefully placed it onto bucky’s head, “awh, you look adorable.”

“thanks, doll, care to teach me how to make one of these?” he chuckled, trying his best to not move so much so the flower crown stayed on his head.

“of course,” y/n smiled softly at him.

“hey, uncle bucky! will you play video games with us later!” AJ asked, cass following his request with a bunch of ‘please, please, please!’.

“i’d love to, but don’t you want to play with y/n? i’m sure they’re a lot better at it than i am, kid.” bucky laughed.

“that’s the problem! y/n is way too good!” AJ huffed, “since you’re old, that means your bad at video games.”

“ouch, AJ.. i’m wounded!” he held his chest in fake pain and y/n rolled their eyes playfully.

“you gonna let me reach you, or what?” y/n smiled at bucky who had pretended to ‘pass out’ from the ‘pain’ of being called old.

“i’m ready,” bucky nodded, sitting up.

“my bet is uncle buck is gonna suck at this,” AJ whispered.

“you’re forgetting uncle buck has super hearing,” bucky scoffed, “but you’re probably right, kid.”

“okay, so you get one daisy and at the end of the stem, but not too far down the stem and you pinch with your nails a slight gap aaaand then get another daisy and then put its stem through the hole and repeat the process!” y/n explained, but then looked over at bucky, who was struggling because of the fact one of his arms was metal and didn’t have nails and was accidentally crushing the flower, while he held it.

“i don’t think this is amputee friendly,” bucky joked, looking at the squashed flower.

“oh no, bucky, it’s okay, wait i’ll do the first step and you do the second?” y/n picked up a flower and pinched a gap in the small stem for bucky and handed him another daisy to slide through the hole.

“AJ! cass! come eat!” sarah called her boys over, who quickly ran over after saying a quick goodbye to y/n and bucky.

“and then there were two,” bucky smiled at y/n.

“you getting the hang of this?” y/n asked, smiling back at him.

“i think i am, it’s sort of difficult, since my arm isn’t really made for this sort of stuff, but it’s gettin’ easier.” bucky chuckled, showing his daisy chain to y/n. it was slightly messy and some of the flowers had been squashed slightly, but it was always the thought that counted more than the outcome.

“i guess i’ll just have to stick around you making sure you’re always able to make a flower crown!” y/n teased.

“i wouldn’t mind that, doll.” he smirked, briefly glancing at their eyes.

“i’d be like your carer,” y/n quipped, laughing at their own joke.

“very funny, y/n,” he pretended to be mad at them, but soon broke into laughter alongside them. bucky shook his head softly, he was in too deep. he knew he had fallen for them, but he had never expected to fall this hard for anyone in his life. especially after what he’d gone through with hydra.

but he was absolutely smitten.

[neocityjs]

Clingy - LJN

Pairing: boyfriend!jeno x reader

Genre: a lil angst, fluff

Warnings: established relationship, Haechan is a bit annoying in this one I’m sorry (Haechan best boy)

Words: 3k

Summary: hurt after hearing your boyfriend and his friends calling you clingy, you decide to show them how not clingy you can be.

A/N: everything is fictional, including the characters’ traits. English is not my first language, therefore I’m sorry for the errors.

Movie nights with your friends were your favorites.

Well, it’d be more correct for me to say “with your boyfriend’s friends”, since you didn’t know them before meeting Jeno. But that doesn’t matter, because in no time you managed to bond with everyone, especially the clumsy yet adorable kid, Jisung, and the loving caffeine addicted boy, Jaemin.

Movie nights with your friends consisted in you eight – even though today you were only seven since Mark was out with some of his friends – sprawled on one couch –  don’t ask me how, but all of you always manage to fit in since no one wants to sit on the carpet – with a blanket covering you and some snacks passing between. Those represented some of those moments you swear you would cherish for all your life.

Tonight seemed to be no different. Jeno had come picking you up at 7 p.m., you spent some time together, walking around, talking and giggling like usual, and you dropped at his house where other five – well, four boys (Jaemin lost to rock paper scissors so he had to go shopping for snacks) – were waiting for the both of you. Donghyuck always got to choose the movie you would watch, not without complaints from every one of you, yet at the end you’d always like what he picks, but Donghyuck doesn’t need to know that.

And there you were, all sprawled on the couch – though not in a very comfortable position –. You had already seen the movie which was playing loudly on the TV, hence you decided to pay more attention to your boyfriend instead. You were all cuddled up with him: he was hugging you, stroking your back from time to time. Your head was on his shoulder while your hand rested on his chest. Sometimes you couldn’t help but leave a furtive and quick kiss on his jaw, praying no one would notice you. He’d smile at you – gosh his eye smile UWU – and then he’d hug you closer.

About one hour after the movie’s beginning, you felt some physical needs pressing, so you quickly excused yourself and got up from the couch.

“Should I pause it?” Renjun asked, the remote already between his hands.

“No, don’t worry. I’ve already seen it anyway”

You made your way to the bathroom only to find out that the toilet paper was missing.

You sighed. Boys.

So you went back to the living room, where everyone was gathered.

You were about to open your mouth to ask where they kept the spare paper but something odd caught your ear. You backed up, hiding behind the wall. You obviously knew that eavesdropping was not by any means honest, especially if it was a conversation between your best friends. But you were almost certain that they were talking about you, your name dropping from one of the boys’ mouth.

“Enjoy being free while you can” Donghyuck joked with Jeno. You furrowed your brows.

What was that supposed to mean? You peeked your head cautiously, not wanting to be seen.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have a girlfriend” Jisung laughed at him, to which the boy responded with a sharp stare.

“Seriously, Jisung? When you haven’t even had your first kiss?”

“Ya ya ya! Shut up and don’t fight you two” Jaemin intervened, throwing a popcorn at them.

A brief moment of silence followed. You still didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“She’s just affectionate, that’s all” Jeno finally spoke, at which you held your breath.

So they were talking about you being clingy with your boyfriend. And this response from Jeno meant that he didn’t mind it, right? Or else he would have agreed with the boy. The thing is, you never thought about it: you supposed that a little kiss every now and then was a way to show your love and affection to him, plus he never complained about it, or never backed away.

“I know, but don’t tell me you don’t find this suffocating sometimes” Donghyuck continued.

Okay, now he was seriously getting on your nerves. What the heck did he care if you were clingy with your boyfriend? This was something between you and Jeno, and he wasn’t allowed to interfere with it, especially in front of everyone in the room. You thought he was making fun of you by now.

At this point you expected something to come out of Jeno’s mouth, anything that could have proven Donghyuck wrong, but he said nothing.

And silence means consent.

How did you know this? Well, Jeno wasn’t one to back out from speaking his opinion, especially with his friends. Especially with Donghyuck, for God’s sake, this guy was constantly bickering – though not with malicious intentions – with everyone.

“We shouldn’t talk behind her back like this” affirmed Jaemin with a severe stare. Jeno looked down: you didn’t know it but he was feeling suddenly guilty, agreeing with Jaemin. Everyone then went silent, the only sounds that could be heard being the dialogues in the movie.

You pressed your back against the wall, processing what you just heard.

Why didn’t he ever tell you? Why did he act like he loved it while, actually, he hated it? Then you thought about every time you held his hand in public, or hugged him, or kissed him, and then your thoughts went to five minutes before, when you were hugging him on the couch. You started feeling sorry.

Maybe after all it’s true, and he didn’t tell me anything because he didn’t want to hurt me.

But well, now it hurt twice as much since you weren’t aware of what your friends and your own boyfriend thought about you. Maybe every one of them, except for Jeno obviously, thanked God they hadn’t a girlfriend like you, who was suffocating and clingy.

And it was at this moment that your guilt turned into anger.

You just wanted to show all your affection and care to your boyfriend who you loved with all your heart, but apparently you were only bothering him. And Donghyuck - oh Donghyuck – you were so angry at him right now. What was the point in making fun of you in front of everyone when you weren’t even there? At the same time, you took a mental note to thank Jisung and Jaemin, the only two people who stood to defend you.

Okay, tonight you were proving everyone how not clingy you could be. Indeed, you were going to interact the least possible with Jeno. He wanted space? Good, you were giving him tons of it.

You eventually went to the toilet using one of your tissues since you were not asking any of them where the hell was the toilet paper, you washed your hands and went back to the couch.

But this time you didn’t hug Jeno. You simply forced a smile and sat next to him with your arms crossed. You tried not to be too obvious, you still didn’t want them to know that you heard everything, but you were sure your face was saying otherwise, and the confirmation arrived when Jeno asked you “Is everything ok?” full of concern.

You just called me clingy and let Donghyuck make fun of me. Yes, everything’s amazing.

“Yes, of course. Why?” you replied, using all of your acting skills in the process which, by the way, were very poor. But apparently they worked, because Jeno smiled at you and shook his head. “Nothing”.

But if you were successful at lying to him right now, then by the end of the movie he understood that something was wrong. You were avoiding all of his attempts of skin ship because “it was too hot”, but then you were grasping at the blanket like there’s no tomorrow. You were also laughing at everything remotely funny that came out of Jaemin’s mouth while you simply ignored all of Jeno’s attempts of making you laugh. Hell, you didn’t even argue with Donghyuck when he murmured something about Jeno being the most unfunny guy he ever met. Oh and you were playing and laughing with Jisung who was sitting next to you.

In short, you were avoiding him.

But he decided to shrug these thoughts away. Maybe he was being paranoid, he thought: you were just enjoying your friends’ company, plus it wasn’t written anywhere that you were allowed to talk and give attentions only to him.

Little did he know, this was just what you were trying to do: shower everyone with attentions except him.

Eventually the movie came to an end, and while everyone was pronouncing their goodnights and heading to sleep, you just remained there, with your phone between your hands, scrolling mindlessly on your Instagram feed.

Usually you and Jeno would have gone to bed together, sharing your thoughts about the movie you just watched, or simply talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But not today. He wanted space? You were giving him space.

Jeno already stood up to make his departure, but soon noticed you weren’t following him like you always did. “Are you coming?” he asked you, stopping on his tracks.

“I’ll just reply to a few messages and then I’ll go to sleep too. Don’t wait for me, you can go”

“Y/N are you sure everything’s okay? You’ve been acting quite weird. Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“Of course not, Jeno. Nothing happened” you replied rather coldly. Then you sighed. “I’m good, don’t worry for me” you added, softly this time. Although you believed he deserved it, you didn’t want to be too rude to him.

He nodded, and without saying anything more, he left.

At this point you started feeling a tiny bit guilty, still you couldn’t simply pretend nothing happened: their words hurt you and even if you really wished to just forget everything, you couldn’t. You just couldn’t, it was stronger than you.

By the way, you had no intention of sleeping with Jeno tonight, so you grabbed the blanket all of you once shared when watching the movie, and struggled a little bit to find a comfortable position. Eventually, after some tears escaped from your eyes, you drifted into a restless sleep.

It took a couple of hours for Jeno to realize you were not in bed with him.

He just fell asleep, a part of him believing that later you would have joined him. But when he woke up, he immediately sensed that something was off. Still sleepy, he touched the other side of the bed only to find it empty, and immediately stood up. It was 3 A.M, why weren’t you sleeping? What the heck were you doing? Did someone kidnap you? At this point he was surprised of how paranoid he could be.

His thoughts came to an end when he saw you, on the couch, with a blanket shielding you from the cold, all curled up. He didn’t see the dried tears that stained your face, though.

Sitting slowly beside you, not wanting to scare you, he gently shook you, not sure himself if it was the right thing to do. He was just so confused, he genuinely didn’t have any idea of what was happening. But he knew one thing for sure: you had been acting cold with him and he wouldn’t had moved until you confessed what was going on. Was it something he said or did? Was today your anniversary or something and he forgot it? Poor boy absolutely couldn’t find peace unless he knew what he did.

Soon you opened your eyes, still heavy from the – lack of – sleep.

“Hey” he murmured softly.

You considered pretending to sleep but nah, as I said earlier, you weren’t a good actress.

“Hey” you replied, stretching your limbs a little bit.

“I got worried since you weren’t sleeping next to me” he chuckled awkwardly. Sure thing, he didn’t know how to handle this situation since this was the first time you were acting like this.

“I… umm… I just fell asleep here” you replied looking at your hands, which you were scratching due to the nervousness.

Another lie.

Then silence.

“Y/N look at me” his voice suddenly changed, turning colder.

You swallowed, a knot forming again in your throat, as you forced back the tears that were trying to escape. You didn’t want to give in so soon.

But how could you, when he was getting angry at you? You should have been angry, not the opposite. And you know what? He was right, you were taking it too far. He didn’t deserve this. Look at how nice he tried to be all night, you managed to anger a calm and patient man like him. How stupid could you be at this point?

With a quivering lip you turned your head, facing him. He was watching you intently, with a serious frown on his face. Your grip on the blanket got tighter, almost ripping it with your nails.

You stayed silent. Then he spoke.

“Why are you being like this?”

You swallowed. What should you say? Were you even allowed to say anything at this point?

You tried to open your mouth to say something, but as soon as you tried your eyes were filled with tears, rapidly falling on your skin. You just couldn’t take it anymore, so you just faced away and buried your face in the pillow, trying to muffle your sobs. You didn’t want to look so pathetic in his eyes, although by now you thought you were being beyond pathetic.

If earlier there was any anger in Jeno, now every hint of it dissipated at the sight of you crying, curled up on the couch. He suddenly felt guilt taking over him. But the amount of confusion and frustration was bigger, so, as much as it pained him to see you cry because of him, this didn’t prevent him from trying to find out what had gotten into you. He was honestly so tired, he just wanted to sleep with you on his side.

He gently, almost scared, touched your trembling frame, and when he noticed there was no sign of rebellion from you, he lied down and hugged you tightly from behind.

And you kept on crying silently, a loud sob escaping occasionally, as he murmured sweet nothings into your ears, shushing you gently and telling you that everything’s fine, I’m here with you. Just let it out.

When you finally finished crying, he placed a soft kiss on your neck, then another on your wet cheek.

“Wanna talk about it?”

There was no point in lying by now. So you faced him, face full of concern and arms still tightly secured around you. And you just let out everything, from how you overheard their conversation – including how sorry you were for doing it and promising it would never happen again -, to how you were hurt by Donghyuck’s words but mostly by Jeno’s lack of words.

On the other hand, poor Jeno didn’t have any idea this could have affected you so much, and because of this he didn’t even think this could have been the cause of your sudden behavior. He just listened everything silently, surprised, just like a kid to whom the newest things are explained.

“I just got so angry at you for not defending me, and for letting Hyuck make fun of me. So I wanted to distance myself from you as much as possible to have my revenge” you openly confessed, hiding your face in his chest.

“I’m really sorry I took this so far. I should have talked instead” you add.

“Well, that’s true” Jeno replied, “but I can’t say I’m in the right either. First thing, we shouldn’t have talked about you like that, plus I’m really sorry I didn’t say anything to Hyuck, I understand this hurt you a lot”

“But do you really think I’m that clingy? Because if so, all you have to do is say the word and I’ll try to respect you space more” you asked, looking up at him with watery eyes.

And if your ears were sharp enough, you could have heard the sound of Jeno’s heart shattering.

Now he was the one who was on the verge of tears.

“Y/N please don’t ever say such a thing. You don’t have to change anything about yourself. I love you because you are you, including your touchy and loving nature. Besides, don’t look at me this way or I’m seriously gonna cry” he added whining, causing a smile – a real one – to appear on your face.

“Now it’s a lot better” he affirmed, tracing your curled up lips with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you or you’re still mad at me?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about making you suffer a little more” you joked.

“Oh my God, you’re unbelievable”

“I think so too”

He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I should kiss that annoying attitude of yours away”

“I don’t know, should you?”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

And with that he kissed you, the fight of moments ago long forgotten. A slow and gentle kiss, a mixture of emotions being shown: remorse, love, affection. It was a way for the both of you to say “it’s all in the past now”.

After you parted, one thought snapped in his mind.

“Wait, how will you manage the matter with Donghyuck? I can talk to him if you want” he pointed out, concerned. He perfectly understood if you were angry at the boy in question, but he also wished all of you to be as bonded as a big family, his family.

“There’s no need, I’ll just confront him by myself, beat him up until he asks for forgiveness and then forgive and hug him”

Jeno looked at you, almost scared. “What…?”

“Just kidding” you said, laughing at his funny face. Still hugging, you made yourselves comfortable enough to sleep.

“Or maybe not”

[aliwritesss]

~ Labyrinth

Pairings: Eric x reader

Genre: fuckboy au!

Warnings: angst, slightly suggestive, slow burn, swearing

Based on this AU! Highly recommended to read it before you start the series, but can be read alone.

1/? Masterlist

-“… And remember! The deadline for the essay is in three weeks.”- You hear your History teacher’s voice but no one listens to him. The bell just ringed and that meant freedom.

-“ It’s Friday!!! Let’s do something fun.” You hear Kevin’s voice next to you. You thank the heavens and stars to have him in your life, you don’t know what you would have done without him all this time.

-“ What are you thinking?”

-“ Well… You know, everyone’s been on the edge these past months with the exams and all. So Juyeon thought I’d be fun to do a small gathering, only close friends.” He says with the smallest voice and you feel all your body tense up. If you knew one thing is that you couldn’t go to parties, not yet. Not when it’s been so long since you’ve seen him and you’re actually starting to move on. To wake up and not think of him.

-“ It sounds fun! But I think I’m gonna pass this time, I better start working on this assignment.”

-“ Cmon (Y/N), it’s been a month. You gotta go to your old self, I miss you. I miss us having fun.” It pains your heart to hear Kevin, you’d love to have the balls to go to their dorms and be yourself, to dance again till you can’t stand up, to laugh freely but you feel that the spark inside of you has died and you’re afraid that if you go, it won’t light up anymore.

-“ I promise you I’ll go back to my old self. You’ll get back your partner in crime, my little moon.” You say hugging him and exiting the class. -“ Just give me a little bit and you’ll get back your star.”

-“ The world better get ready once the moon and star duo comes back.” He says giving you one of his best smiles and you feel a little bit better. You’ve known him for so long and clicked since then. One day you two were in class and someone said you looked like the team rocket from Pokémon, always together being mischievous. And since then you baptized your friendship as the moon and star duo.

As you walk outside you feel his comment nag you in the back of your head. “Why do I have to feel so bad when he’s doing fine? Was everything a lie? Did he truly love me?” These thoughts have been bugging you lately and you’re starting to get annoyed. You thought you were doing fine but sometimes these dark clouds will come and shake you down. And it seems like today was one of these days.

“ So… Juyeon is doing a gathering huh? Do you realize that it means half of the campus is going, right?”

-“ Yeah… We told him only close people and Changmin said that meant around 50 friends.” He says, rolling his eyes. -“ Thank god we have Sangyeon and Jacob to keep him in check or else It’d be a nightmare.” And that makes you laugh because it’s true, you remember one night you were staying the night in their dorms and suddenly Sunwoo and Chanhee started arguing about the smallest thing. Sangyeon only needed to look at them to make them stop. It was so funny, you don’t want to mess with an angry Sangyeon to be honest.

-“ And… Here we go. I knew it.” You hear Kevin’s annoyed voice. -“ They’re asking me to buy drinks, it seems like more people are coming tonight. I have to go now bubs, but we should do something fun this weekend okay? Just the two of us.” He says while hugging you and you nod. Maybe that’s what you need, to start slowly coming out of your cave.

You start making your way to your dorm thinking about the million things you have to get done in these two weeks and you can feel your anxiety already coming. The pressure you’ve been feeling these past few days it’s getting worse everyday. And the worst of it, it’s that you don’t have anyone to talk about it. Unconsciously, you touch your necklace, feeling a little bit better. You look down to the tiny shiny star and remember the night he gave it to you.

-“ I’ll be your star, ready to guide you even in the darkest times, even when there’s no moon shining.” He said softly in your neck. You smiled at him and looked at the charm. It was a little star filled with crystals. Stunning.

-“ When you feel like giving up, remember that I’ll be here with you. Faintly.” Eric said, touching your necklace.

“Where are you now? Where are you now when I need you the most?” You think for yourself, It’s not like you weren’t starting to move on from him, which you are doing. But you were not forgetting him, and you wish you could.

You wish you could erase all these sweet moments, act like nothing happened. Act like him, cold and unbothered. Why did him have to play you? Was everything a lie? Everything he said, was just a trap to only have fun with you? You couldn’t trust your memories, it seems like you only could remember the good ones.

But what about that night you two had a fight on a party because he was with this girl, laughing and talking the whole night while you were alone? You still remember his words: “ Stop being a pain in the ass, if I wanted to hook up with her dont you think I would have already done it?”. And you being a silly naive girl in love, acted like it didn’t hurt you. Like he didnt had the power to destroy you in matter of seconds if he wanted.

And that was the reason you broke up with him.

Everyone knew you were his girl and god forbid anyone who dared to touch you. But that’s it, you were only that, his girl. He didn’t bother to put a label, you were there for him and that was enough.

-“ Eric what are we doing?”- You asked him the night you two broke up.

-“ What do you mean?”-

-“ What are we doing together? What is this? Are we exclusive? Are we truly in a relationship?”- You asked trembling, you weren’t ready to hear his answer.

-“ Not this again (Y/N). I told you I don’t want to talk about it and you keep bringing this up. I said you are my girl and that should be enough.”-

-“ But it isn’t. It isn’t when there’s a queue of girls waiting for you to get tired of me and drop me like a toy. And I had enough, I need to know what I am to you.” You said sitting in his bed.

-“ You are making me tired with all these questions. I said drop it, (Y/N). You know how I am and still chose to be here with me.”-

-“ I chose you bc you said that you couldn’t do this without me, Eric! You told me that I was special and-.”

-“ So? That gives you the right to be called my girlfriend?”- And that was the last straw. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, it’s like someone snapped you back to reality. Like you just woke up from a beautiful dream and got hit with the true world.

He loved you, but not in the right way.

He cared about you, but not enough.

You got dressed and started to pick yoiur things while crying. You needed to get out as soon as possible, even if it was 3 in the morning.

-“Cmon (Y/N) don’t be like this. I got mad and you know I say things I regret later. Please let’s talk in the morning when we are calm, okay? Babe please-“

-“ Don’t touch me, Eric. I’ve had enough. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep falling in love with you more and more when we are not in the same page. Not even in the same book.”- You said putting on your sweatshirt, well, his sweatshirt now yours.

-“ Are you serious? Are you going to be like this? After all we’ve been through?”-

-“ Exactly, after all we’ve been through you still think I don’t deserve to be your girlfriend. And let me correct you, you’re the one who doesn’t deserve to be my boyfriend. I’m tired of your shit.”

-“ I know you’re angry (Y/N) but I swear if you leave this room that’s it.”- He said staring at you. You gave him one last smile and closed the door. It was so late at night and you decided to bring this topic up… That was a stupid move of you to be honest, but it needed to be done.

You can feel your vision getting blurry with all the tears falling but you don’t care anymore.

-“ Star? Is everything ok?”- you feel Kevin’s sleepy voice coming from the other side of the hallway and you let out a sob. -“ Hey, Hey. What happened bubs? Why are you crying? Where’s Eric?”-

-“ I… I- I think we just broke up.” You said hugging him and starting to sob even harder.

- “ Oh gosh…” He said quietly while stroking your hair.

And after that everything was a blur, you only remember him and Haknyeon taking you to your dorm and sleeping there. Everyone knew what happened because they heard you two arguing but no one could bring the topic up. It was typical of you two to argue, but in a matter of hours everything was cleared. But this time was different and both of you knew it.

This time the damage was done and there was no going back now.

A/N: So it’s finally here!! The first chapter of this little series. Thanks to all of you for liking so much the AU and for telling me what you preferred to see on this series. It’ll be after the break up, but I thought it’d be nice to have a little context of why did the discussion happen and to see the dynamic of the relationship. Honestly speaking, I love Eric’s fuckboy vibes so much.. But still it pains me to see him acting this way :( I apologise for any typo or mistake! And remember you can ask in the comments or dms to be tagged and that requests are open!!

TAGLIST: @asherbl @fairycob @givememunjang

[sunfoxfic]

Don't mind me but I just wanted to talk about something which is really rubbing off the wrong way with me.

Before I start, I should say that NONE of what I am about to say is meant to be Adrien salt. In fact, I have related to him more than ever especially this season and actually this ladynoir conflict is helping me cope up so much (I personally think it is really well executed so far). I love both Marinette and Adrien and I absolutely love this conflict because of what it would bring out in the future.

That being said, I read your post about the power imbalance in ladynoir and I agree so much with it! People talking about it sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable because of how they frame words about it and the post helped me understand why.

It's just that people say that Marinette being the guardian is the whole problem. And yes, that's true in sense it is a very very stressful burden for a fourteen year old to carry and it is taking a toll on her relationships and mental health to an extent where she CAN'T focus on anything else (I may be clumsily framing this dhsbz sorry but you get the gist). But no. People are not even concerned about that - their problem is that there is a power imbalance between Chat and Ladybug and that it is hurting Chat. Which is another aspect of it, yes, but also it kiiiinda rubs me off in the wrong way because it's almost as if people are not taking HER feelings into consideration at all? I mean this is pretty trivial and I am definitely overthinking things and I am sure it's not the case with most people saying that but it just does bother me.

And also the fact that when any leaks (especially from gloob😒) come up showing Adrien making a "mistake" (Like the Glaciator 2 ones gosh they were awful), salters start off with their irrational bashing, and people are really really quick to defend him - which they should! But why don't they do the same for Marinette too? Sure. Maybe they just care more about Adrien to defend him but when these SAME people start bashing on Marinette with out of context spoilers WITHOUT EVEN THINKING OF WAITING FOR THE EPISODE is when this feels like an awful double standard.

And then there's also a very specific brand of people who say that...Adrien is more "well written" and a "fan favourite"? Now, I won't touch the writing part because of my personal biases and because I personally think Marinette's storyline is also pretty complex (and I totally understand why people would NOT think so), but the fan favourite part?? Does it even matter at the end of the day? I've even seen some people act all high and mighty because they are Adrien "stans" apparently?? (Tbf the whole Stan culture is something which I don't care about)

Sorry for this highly disorganised rant. It's just that since the episode aired I've been seeing all sorts of these comments and I don't know if this is just me overthinking everything or if this is really something which bothered anyone else too.

Ello, anon! I'm always happy to get people venting in my inbox if they need to, I know the feeling

The first thing I'm going to say re: Adrien defense squad, is that you're absolutely right that in so many ways Adrien salt acts to perpetuate this defensiveness of Adrien that maybe isn't always earned. And like you, I love Adrien's character and don't want to sound salty, but.... people need to stop defending Adrien at the expense of Marinette.

That means that they need to stop defending him so much that they place blame on her where it's not deserved. It means they need to stop defending him so much that he gets shielded from pain rather than ever growing from it. It means they need to stop defending him from people who aren't arguing in good faith.

In the non-saltiest part of the fandom I know, this corner I've carved for myself on Tumblr, it's just exhausting to see people deconstructing all the reasons and ways Marinette is at fault and hurting people around her. There's usually the disclaimer of "Oh I still love her though!" or "But she has no way to change given her current circumstances" or "Not salt, I still love her."

But if I deconstructed all the ways in which Adrien is wrong and hurting people around him with those same disclaimers, I'd get accused of perpetuating Adrien salt. That's happened to me before. And unlike most of the posts I see like this about Marinette (by very smart, reasonable people), when I made those types of posts about Adrien, it was always, "He needs to get better for his own sake because he cannot depend on people protecting him all the time and I don't want him to get hurt." People making those same posts about Marinette are only ever deconstructing her impact on other people -- usually Adrien.

As for the rest of it.... It's been a few hours since this came in and I've been thinking about this ask all day. And I think part of the issue with discussing the Ladynoir power imbalance and that whole issue, etc etc, is that everyone thinks they know how to solve the problems.

To be quite clear: I'm guilty of this.

We all think we know what dynamic Ladybug and Chat Noir need to have to be "healthy." In reality, the main thing they need to be healthy is to have Gabriel removed from their lives. No dynamic changing will improve their relationship more than dynamically kicking Gabriel Agreste into a prison cell.

But once that happens, we all think we know exactly what they need to do in order to preserve their sense of selves and relationship with one another. When in reality, it's so much messier than that.

What Adrien and Marinette need to do is experiment. Figure out what each of them needs to do and where they need to help their personal shortcomings to have both of their needs met. Yeah, there's some basic things that obviously need to happen: Adrien needs to be more forthcoming about his feelings, Marinette needs to be more attentive, both of them need a little patience.

But we have no idea what exactly they need to do to make their relationship work. So when someone says confidently "Marinette needs to give up the Miracle Box" or "Adrien needs to be Guardian with her" or "Adrien needs to know who all the identities of the heroes are" I'm starting to be doubtful that we can really know what impact this would have on their relationship at all.

I'm guilty of this, like I said. But the more I think about it, the more I don't think there's any way to confidently identify solutions in something as variable and fragile as a relationship. A lot harder than identifying problems, anyway.

Anyway, anon, hope saying all this made you feel better, and have a lovely day.

[reidyoulikeabook]

Champagne Problems

#Request: could you write something based on ‘champagne problems’? creative license is yours and go ham however you see fit but i was thinking reader breaks things off between her and spencer seemingly without warning etc etc

Summary: You and Spencer had been together for almost 2 years. So when he asks you to marry him, that’s got to be a no-brainer, right?

Warnings: Angst, a lot of angst. Minor mentions of threat, blackmail, violence and drugs.

Word count: 2k

A/N: Writing this hurt my feelings. Badly. Just the idea of sad Spencer destroys me. That having been said, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy writing it. Anyway, as always, requests are open!

--------

Spencer hasn’t moved off the couch in at least 8 hours. He hadn’t slept. Not since you’d left.

He’d been agonising over the proposal for months. He’d consulted Morgan, who’d said, “Pretty boy, you could ask her over coffee on the jet and she’d say yes. Don’t worry so much about making it perfect.”

Garcia, who’d squealed, bouncing in her seat at the thought of another BAU wedding, “Oh my gosh! You have to make it beautiful! Amazing! You two are finally gonna get married! Is she pregnant? Not that she has to be just, my god, this team has a reputation for shotgun weddings.”

He’d briefly considered asking Rossi, who had surely proposed enough times by now for him to be classified as an engagement expert. Hotch would probably have had some sage advice, and Emily well...he wasn’t exactly sure what her advice would have been, actually. He might have wound up asking them if what J.J had said to him hadn’t been so helpful.

“Do whatever feels most authentic to you. Neither of you are fans of a big show, you’re not ‘fly a blimp over Quantico’ people. Just, do something that feels right.”

So he’d done that. Spencer loved the solace of your apartment. It’s where you spent the vast majority of your date nights: ordering in fancy takeout, watching shows, sometimes just sitting and reading together in the bay window. If Spencer had a glass or two of wine, he could sometimes be coaxed into dancing.

What felt right to him was this: the apartment bathed in the glow of the fairylights he’d put up earlier, supported by the gentle golden light of the colour changing lightbulb he’d purchased especially. The record player prepared with your favourite album. A chilled bottle of wine resting on the table, next to a bouquet of fresh flowers contained in a crystal vase he’d had to demolish half the spare bedroom to find.

He was more than a little nervous, as he posted himself up at the dining room table to await your arrival. He couldn’t stop the train of thoughts: what if she says no? What if she doesn’t want me?

The only thing that helped stifle his nerves was thinking of how the others had reacted when he’d told them. What Morgan had said. Then he trails his mind back, to all the times he’d felt so insecure, so unworthy of your love. You’d never failed to remind him that he was the best thing to happen to you. That every insecurity he had was actually just a quirk about him that you loved. Your love poured into him, filling a lifetime of holes made by other peoples criticiques and mockery. He took a deep breath. He would be okay. This would be okay. You loved him. God knows you’d told him that enough times.

***

“What’s all this?” You ask, coming through the door and shrugging the laptop case off your shoulders.

“I just thought, since our anniversary is coming up and we could get called out on a case...I thought we could celebrate early. On a night we know we have off.”

“That’s really thoughtful,” You say with a smile, “I can’t believe you did all this Spence.”

He stands, crossing the room to help you take your jacket off, “You deserve something special.”

“Good job you’re something special then,” You say, allowing him to lift the jacket off your shoulders, leaning in to peck his cheek as he does it.

Moving away from you to hang your jacket on the coat hanger, he feels the anxiety start to climb again. He’s imagined the scenario a million times in his head, played it out. He knew he’d be nervous. But nothing, no run-through in his mind could have prepared him for the anxiety he feels as you take your seat at the table.

“Shall I open this?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Spence you got the fancy one,” You say, a question in your voice that he pretends not to hear.

“Well it is for our anniversary, can’t buy the five dollar bottle to celebrate two years together,” He says, taking his seat opposite you.

“Two years huh?”

“Yep. Well, currently one year, eleven months and fifteen days, if you take a month to mean thirty days.”

“That’s gone pretty fast.”

“Actually it’s pretty widely agreed by psychologists that as we get older our subjective perception of time speeds up. There’s no real consensus on what exactly the cause is but it’s thought that it might have something to do with the expansion of our neuron network and the greater distance signals have to travel which slows down our processing time.”

You laugh, “Well that’s a very scientific way to tell me we’re getting old.”

“You’re not even thirty.”

“Not far off.”

“Well I’m sure I’ll think you’re just as beautiful at thirty, and fourty, and fifty, and-”

You cut him off, laughing again, “Is there a scientific theory to support that or are you just spitballing here?”

“This is all me.”

Something about the way he says that sounds so vulnerable that it makes your heart ache.

Spencer’s a little nervous, but not anything close to massively alerting you. You decide to chalk it down to just Spencer being Spencer, mostly out of not wanting to dwell on it too much. The evening passes in exchange of old memories, light teasing as you recall how long it’d taken him to summon the courage to kiss you for the first time.

He’s trying to work out when. When you head to the bathroom, he decides it has to be when you come back. Before he loses his nerve. He swallows another sip of wine for courage, smiling at the thought that he’ll get to introduce you as his fiance at work tomorrow.

Entering the room, you spy how he’s smiling to himself. You have half a mind to ask him what he’s thinking about, but he interrupts you before you can.

“Wanna dance?” He asks, having wandered to where the record player sits, covered in a thin layer of dust.

“Yeah. Dancing sounds good.”

Flicking the needle down, that familiar song starts playing.

You make your way over to where he stands on your living room rug. He puts one arm around your waist, keeping your other hand in his. You move in time to the music, letting him twirl you around with ease.

“I have something to ask you,” he murmurs, spinning you again so you come flying to rest against his chest.

Your head rests just under his chin, and the dance slows down to a gentle sway.

Your heart is pounding.

“Yeah?”

“I-I had this whole speech planned,” he says, softly, "But I think...I think I just want to ask you now. I think you know how I feel about you. How much I love you. So I wanted to ask you, if you want to marry me.”

You drop his hand. Stepping back, you scan his face. Seeing the panic, the questionning, the confusion.

“Spencer I-I can’t. I can’t do that.”

Confusion flickers across his features, eyebrows furrowing, lips pressing against one another. He tries to keep the tears from filling his eyes but he can’t. They glint with all the hurt. With his worst nightmare realised. You’re just stood there, statue-still. Staring at him with something he can’t figure out. Horror? Shock? How could it be either of those things. His chest heaves, he flounders. Even when he imagined this, he never planned what he’d say next. What he’d really do if you said no. It dawns on him then. He never really believed it would happen.

“W-Why?” He finally chokes, taking a step towards you only to promptly feel another kick to the gut as you, in turn, retreat.

“I just...” You trail off, mouth opening and closing, “I just. I just can’t.”

He doesn’t get the chance to puzzle out what the look on your face is. It’s imperceptible. Before he can think of anything else to say, before he can even begin to comprehend the way his world just shattered, you’re gone.

He thinks he hears a quiet, “I’m sorry,” as you scuttle out of the apartment door and disappear.

***

At some point, he makes it to the couch. It goes dark around him, the batteries in the fairy lights die at some point. So he sits illuminated in only the light of the lamp.

Eidetic memory allows his brain to become a theatre. Showing only one film: The Time You Said No. Dropped his hand. Stepped back, as if you were wounded, injured. The confusion in your voice. How it shook, broke, when you said ‘I-I can’t.’ How you just left. How you promised you’d never leave and here you were, slipping out the apartment door without a second look. He’s not even analysing. He just sits, replaying the night in his head. Hot tears slipping down his cheeks everytime he gets to the part where you leave. He doesn’t wipe them. Just starts again.

***

He’s vaguely aware of a phone ringing beside him. Picking it up, he sees it’s 7:52am, which means he’s going to be late for work. There are several missed calls. He would check to see who they’re from but he doesn’t really care.

Will you be at work?

The thought almost makes him want to go. It dawns on him then that he has absolutely no idea where you are, and somehow that’s worse than knowing you left. He scrambles for the phone, picking it up and dialling your number. It rings, from inside your jacket. The jacket you left on the back of the chair.

If he goes into work and you’re not there...he bristles at the thought. Nausea rises in him, his forehead starting to feel clammy with a light sheen of sweat as he processes: he has no idea where you are. For the first time in two years, he has no idea where you are and no way to find out.

Then it hits him. This might just be his life now. He has to run to the bathroom and vomit.

***

You’ve fucked it up. You’ve fucked it up and you know it the moment you get out of your apartment building and into the freezing cold air. There’s no way to explain it.

You’d received an email this afternoon. It was footage of Elle. You’d been home late because you’d had to go to Hotch, who’d spent the afternoon nervously pacing. Various agents, increasing in status each time, had flooded the office.

There was no way of knowing, right now, who’d sent the email. Or what they could see. What they had access to. How could you accept a proposal from Spencer when you knew that doing so could put him in jepoardy? What if they had something on him?

The entire team had looked the other way while you’d helped him to wrangle the dilaudid addiction and get himself back on his feet. That time pained you to think about. But there were so many things that a person could get their hands on. How could you say yes to taking your relationship further when everything was so off-balance right now?

You should have told him. No matter about Hotch or Strauss swearing you to secrecy. You should have told him. Shame rises, deep in your gut, at the monumental fuck-up you’d just made. If it hadn’t been this afternoon, if you hadn’t been on edge already, if you’d had the time to think about things. You would have responded differently. If you’d just had some more time.

But you’re here now. Wondering, how exactly you could explain that you’d done this because you were worried someone might hurt him.

How can you say you were protecting him, when in doing so you destroyed him?

---

Taglist: @sassiest-politician @takeyourleap-of-faith

(as usual, if you’d like to be added to/removed from the taglist just let me know!)

[mrs-cavill-wife]

Safe And Happy (One Shot)

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Female Reader (Barbara)

Warning: Language. Fluff. Minor Injury. Zombie Apocalypse. Gun shot. Persecution. Please, say if I miss something.

Author's Note: My second fanfic, YAY! Henry is not a celebrity in this fanfic. Duh! It's a zombie apocalypse so it's kinda obvious but I wanted to say it anyway. Hope you guys enjoy it and reblog if you do. I'm all ears to feedback!

Tag List: @lexyvaldez26 @thereisa8ella @natura1phenomenon @mrsavery @number1chonie @themanfromu @littlefreya @legendarywizarddetective @lovingbearherringhairdo @zealoushound @deangal-101 @everydaymultifandom @summersong69 @jgtfvhsg @tellingyouastory @sillyrabbit81 @nuggsmum @pussyverson @oh-for-fic-sake @foodieforthoughts @fanficlover91 @r-t-doll @its--fandom--darling @poledancingdinos @hlkwrites @rmtndew

Summary: The world is a dangerous place now, but in the arms of the man she loves, she always finds security.

Barbara's P.O.V

Shit. I miss when the world used to be good. It was never perfect but no doubt it were way better than now.

An zombie apocalypse, who could have imagined that this could actually happen? Who knew that one day I would be armed, with a "beautiful" wound on my leg, hiding in an abandoned store, running away from a horde of about fifty zombies, crazy and thirsty for some human flesh.

I got hurt entering here, there was a piece of wood that grazed my leg, but luckily I had some bandage on the bag, I tied it to my leg to stop the blood. I looked at my leg and sighed, frustrated with myself.

"What the fuck dressing did you do, huh? My man is going to be pissed"

I live with my boyfriend, well husband, wasn't exactly official but we are together, he's amazing with dressings, but of course, I never pay attention when he tried to explain it to me. I'm hiding, trying to calm my breathing and think of a new plan, I don't know if I'll be able to run with my leg like that, but I think partially, it's really my fault. I'm often on those situations, I have my skills but I might not be the best, I still remember when I meet my boyfriend, on this type of shit cliche situation, today I don't complain for being dumb back there..

We met a year ago, I was running away.. again. I remember going into a dead end street, my gun had only two bullets left, I managed to kill some of those brain eaters, but I had about ten still behind me. I was already out of breath and couldn't think of anything else.

It was all very fast, suddenly my hero appeared, super skilled, I can't say where he came from but he managed to cut the heads of some of them, cut one in half, he stopped in front of me and fired with a super powerful machine gun, spilling a little blood and a disgusting substance on both of us.

"Hey are you alright, princess?"

He spoke to me after all those butchers fell dead. I was in shock but in seconds, I regained consciousness and was able to notice the man in front of me.

Broad back, fair skin, incredibly neat curly hair, a sharp jawline that could cut my soul, kissable lips.. a beautiful ax, a weapons in the waistband and at least two powerful shotguns in the back. The sun was setting and the light reflected in his eyes. The brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. There was a small brown part in one of them, I had heard about cases of heterochromia, but it was the first time that I saw it right in front of me.

"Your eyes are so beautiful.."

He laughed softly and a little shy. The sweetest laugh I've heard. Oh God, he's so wonderful, I think I died and went to heaven and that angel came to receive me. Maybe I'm not too unlucky after all.. wait, what did I just said? Oh fuck, what a good way of cause a first impression. First you almost die then act like a dumb ass needy teen. I rolled my eyes realizing what I done and he touched my arm.

"Thank you, you're beautiful too.. but are you hurt? What are you doing all by yourself?"

I nodded looking down and blushing red like a tomato.

"Huh I'm fine. I was searching for a place to stay. I heard on radio there was a small group of survivors around here. I'm always alone, so I decided to look for it but I obviously didn't payed attention on the munition I had before risking my butt."

He giggled and soft touched my cheek, wiping away some of the dirty. Gosh, I'm not going to handle and he's not making it easy..

"So it's your lucky day, pretty girl. I am from that group of survivors. They always told me to go round and look for possible new survivors."

I looked at him frowning.

"Now it's my time to ask. All by yourself? Why?"

And he smirked, looking like a made a silly question. Your hot bastard.

"I'm a prepared person. Not bragging but I always check my munition"

Touchee. I crossed my arms looking at him, trying to keep my posture but I was really melting inside.

We heard a loud noise, making us concerned. He grabbed my hand and started walking.

"It doesn't seem far, we must walk. Let's go"

"Where are you taking me? I.. I don't even know your name?"

I stopped moving and he stopped looking a little mad then he sighed.

"I will take you to our shelter. I saved you, you can trust me. We both need a bath and some rest.. and I'm Henry."

He said smiling and I nodded starting to walk by his side.

That day, he took me to the survivors. There were at least four people, some couples and children, all of whom welcomed me very well. But despite that, I thought about leaving the next day, I was always alone and until then, it was how I wanted to be and I would be like this today, if Henry hadn't insisted that I stay. I said I would stay for some days but during that, he convinced me to stay for more weeks and when I realized, we were closer than ever. Actually, those days made me found love. One of the guys of the shelter was a priest before the world was destroyed, Henry and I decided to get married and so it happened. Simple but a beautiful ceremony.

After a few years, we both decided to leave, maybe it was not a smart idea in the current situation, but we were certain of it, so we did. It was difficult, at first from hiding to hiding, sleeping on uncomfortable places, sometimes without enough food for both, we almost died a few times but together, yes, we were unbeatable. But finally, we got a place, safe enough to call home.

Henry's P.O.V

One hour left. I trust her, she's a little clumsy but my girl knows what to do, I taught her some tricks when we met but still, my heart is desperate. Today I received a radio message, it was Stuart, a partner, we have known each other since I was part of a group of survivors, he provided us with food, ammunition and weapons from time to time, even now that I am no longer part of the group, he's a great friend. I always went to get it, alone, I didn't want to risk seeing my Barbara hurt. But today, Stuart said he couldn't come, because of some injuries, so I would have to go, but Barbara decided that her chance to do it this time.

"Barbara.. baby, you don't have to.."

I remember I said trying don't sound like I was doubting her capacities.

"Well on my mind, I do need. You always do that, I feel useless, I'm no princess in danger, i can do that"

I got closer touching her back while she packed her bag with "travel" supplies. She looked at me, touched my face and smiled. I love this smile.

"I'll be alright, I know that area is dangerous but you know I know the way and I had a good survivor teacher"

She said and wrapped her arms around my neck and I hugged her feeling defeated. She never had to say much to convince me of anything. I know she was feeling bad about me doing the hard work and I think she deserves a chance. I need to show I really trust her.

"I will be counting the seconds.."

I sighed and she smiled widely packing my lips many times. She grabbed her bag, her gun and went through the door but before leaving she looked at me one last time.

"I love you"

We both said at same time, making our hearts beat at same rhythm.

She gonna be alright, I know.. at least I hope.

Barbara's P.O.V

I heard a small noise that made me wake up. I dozed off for a while when I expected the horde to calm down and preferably leave. I got up and checked outside by one of the windows. Empty. Thank God. My leg didn't hurt so much anymore, but the fact that the street was clean was a relief to m. I wouldn't have to run, just be careful.

I opened my bag and ate a chocolate bar. Stuart wasn't lying when he said that had good things this time, I got things I hadn't ete in years. I left the store quickly after eating and started walking my way back home.

I was almost closer, I smiled seeing my home. Finally, safe house. when I got on the home's street, had three zombies, between me and my house. Great.

I tried to carefully pass behind them, I was almost there, but again, I didn't pay enough attention, I tripped over something and fell to the floor, over my injured leg, I couldn't contain the scream. They heard and were already walking towards me. F U C K M E.

I looked at my house. It's not so far, I can do it. I ran, fast as I could, my leg was hurting a lot, the bandage already red with my blood but I did it. I could climb the special secret passage through the wall and done. I layed in the grass for a second trying to recover my breath, closing my eyes, finally feeling safe then something fell on top of me. I got scared until I could open my eyes. A beast. A fluffy beast.

"Hey Kal, you scared me baby"

I hugged the big black and white American Akita. It's mine and Henry's dog, our loyal companion, our dog son. We found him on our away to find a new safe place, he were a little injured on the front paws. Of course we felt in love with him and took care of him, we had to keep him and we did.

I petted him a little more before getting up.

"Alright, mommy needs a good break now. Promise to play later. Where's daddy? He had a heart attack?"

Oh he will when see my situation. I walked to inside our house and pulled the food supplies on the kitchen. I was focused until I hear the shower on bathroom upstairs. I smiled.

"What a good way of relax, huh?"

I walked upstairs, taking off my clothes though the way. When I opened the bathrooms door, I was fully naked. Oh that vision. My man, all naked.. that furry defined abs, those strong muscles.. that round booty.. and that big veiny dick, shit, even soft he's huge.. I'm so freaking lucky.

I licked my lips and tried to close the door softly but i ended up making noises.

"Thought I had told you need to be stealthy"

When I turned around, he was looking at me, with those gorgeous eyes that left me speachless since first time. Then he's face changed to worried and I realized he were looking at my wounded leg.

"Barbara, what the fuck just happened?"

I rolled my eyes then got into the shower with him. Before he could say something, I kissed him softly. He kissed me back of some type of way that I could feel how worried he were. Was a intense kiss, our tongues battling against each other, oxygen wasn't this necessary for us at this point. He quickly grabbed me tight and gave me a little boost then I had my legs wrapped around his waist. We ended our kisses with soft pecks and smiles. I looked at him. He had one hand around my back and another softly rubbing closer my wound.

"Hey are you alright, princess?"

I smiled way more with his soft voice and nodded.

"Yes, now I'm safe and happy"

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Truth

Warning: Spoilers and intense emotions. You have been warned.

So that's how you fix a broken miraculous. And once it's fixed, Duusu seems to be better and felt that she was living a nightmare. Okay, we see.

I never spoke about ShadowMoth's costume. It's okay. I just don't like how powerful he is now.

I guess since the Kwamis were never out of the Miracle Box, they don't know how to behave in the human world. Its funny to see how they behaved, but I also feel bad for Marinette who looked like a crazy person trying to get the kwamis under control.

Also, the Miracle Box reflects Marinette. Does that mean that Marinette is spontaneous or that she is willing to let the Kwamis out of the Miracle Box? I say its both.

Also, how did the writers let Marinette forget that the Kwamis live in their magical world??? (Did they forget about "Sandboy"???) Also, didn't Master Fu or Tikki ever tell her about the whole kwamis and technology thing??? Is Adrien the only one that knows??? Or do I have amnesia?

The girls thought Adrien was at her place??? Did anyone even tell them about the whole Adrien and Kagami thing? Or is that why they are shocked???

The goat kwami apparently did not know about the technology thing and called photos paintings. I get it though: photos are like paintings.

And they sent a photo of Adrien to Luka. Oh boy *facepalms*

...and when Marinette answers Luka's call (made by the goat kwami whose name I cannot recall), she mistakes him for Adrien. I wonder how long this will last (if it even lasts)

Being a guardian means many responsibilities... and forgetting many things, including having a date with Luka. I feel bad for both of them, especially since the date was yesterday. YESTERDAY! Also, forgetting what they were going to be doing and what they will see in the movies

I love Lukanette's chemistry (even though I am a Love Square stan as you all know). Their guessing game on the way to the movies was adorable and in line with couple goals.

The necklace as a gift theory was right! We did it peoples!

Marinette screaming the answer "Kiss me" was a whole mood. And so is the staring thing.

WE/I WERE/WAS RIGHT THAT THEIR KISS WOULD BE INTERRUPTED!!! AND THAT IT WAS AN AKUMA!!! Take it as you will, although they were both passed that there kiss was interrupted.

Ladybug yeeting Chat Noir off the roof only to pull him back, break an office window, Chat smiling about it, and Ladybug enjoying this moment while simultaneously being concerned is what I live for! My Ladynoir heart is satisfied.

IT IS CANNON THAT THEY HAVE PATROLS. Although, it was cannon ever since the IG accounts existed.

ShadowMoth and all these sentimonsters is bananas. How do Marinette and Adrien handle this????

Well, we know for Marinette is the excuses that sometimes make no sense. And the fact that we see Luka become more upset with the more excuses she makes hurts, to the point that he mentioned it at the performance.

LUKA HAS A CHARACTER PEOPLES! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

He had no idea who his father is and his mom would not tell him. This is why he has some form of trust issues and why he is very hurt when Marinette would not tell him anything (because that would mean that she has to tell him she's Ladybug and that could mean the end of the world).

Side note: He is still aware that she still likes Adrien.

Luka resisting the akuma and amok because he still trusts Marinette hurts and shows that they have a healthy relationship (or as healthy as it could be when your girlfriend is a superhero and cannot tell you). Also, how he tells Marinette to run before succumbing to ShadowMoth shows how much he really cares about her. Luka I owe you an apology

Love how everyone in Paris thinks that Marinette's secret is that she loves Adrien. Marinette, you got them all fooled. But if this is the case, then that means Adrien is really dense.

Truth spots his mom and gets her to say who his father is...

ITS BEEN JAGGED STONE ALL ALONG!!! WE WERE RIGHT PEOPLES! OUR HEADCANNONS BECAME CANNON BECAUSE WE ARE GENIUSES!!!

My first thought was "Holy chiz, we were right! We were freaking right!" I had to pause for a miniature victory dance.

Miniature victory dance break!

Anyways, he goes to Jagged Stone not before ShadowMoth yells at him and Truth yells back that he always tells the truth. Man this all hurts so much seeing Jagged's absence having an effect in Luka's thoughts about honesty.

Chat Noir saving Ladybug from saying who she is, giving her the oxygen mask, and saying how he won't force her to tell the identity is wholesome.

Luka is understandably angry at Jagged for leaving him and his mom as Truth. Understandable. I also get Jagged's perspective of the fears of being a horrible parent. But once you are a parent, you have to stay unless you are a danger to children. Jagged is not a danger to children and he should have stayed. Just saying.

People are being yeeted left to right in this episode like wha???

Now Truth heads for Marinette's house and attacks her parents. They also think her secret is about Adrien lol.

I love Tom. Even under the spell, he was willing to make sure Truth does not go up to her room. Too bad that wasn't enough though.

Just as he was about to open the place with the Miracle Box, they catch him! Now, the showdown starts.

Ladybug loves Chat's confidence, courage, and SENSE OF HUMOR!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

Ladybug and Chat saving each other from revealing their secret identities is just wholesome!

It sucks being in a room that belongs to your soon to be ex (Note: Marinette is not his ex yet, so do not say ex until a certain point). And with photos of the one she loves. Yikes.

Ladybug and Chat's conversation is wholesome. They are safe in each other's company because they trust each other and such. And they like each other's company. But they will catch ShadowMoth no matter what his name has changed to.

Also, Adrien must have had a hard time in his civilian life to be excited about fighting akumas and sentimonsters. I mean why am I surprised this is the same guy that is excited about throwing himself to death get this kid some dang therapy!

The Lukanette break up. So they are taking a break because Marinette wants to be honest to Luka, but cannot be honest for now. Luka takes this surprisingly well and says that he will be waiting while Marinette is the one that appears to be hurt the most. It hurts me

Luka and Jagged Stone collab! I can't wait for it!!! Glad that Jagged and Luka will slowly bur surely mend their relationship.

It hurts me knowing that Marinette can't be with anyone as long as she is Ladybug (or at least until ShadowMoth is defeated) because of the responsibilities and secrets she holds. She is afraid that she is a danger to others and being a danger to others means that they are a danger to Ladybug and Chat Noir and that means the end of the world! My precious bean is 15/16 and she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and this is the first step to her eventual breakdown from the Gloob trailer. Like, can we not hurt Marinette FOR FIVE GOSH DARN MINUTES???????

At least being a guardian has some perks, like having all the Kwamis giving you a hug in exchange for the world on your shoulders. Glad that the kwamis are being understanding to this extent.

Also, can I have kwamis to hug me when I am sad/stressed??? Especially since I am going to college

Overall, this is a very heavy first episode and I am here for it! Luka has a backstory independent of Marinette and a lot of our headcannons are confirmed! Also, Ladynoir are very much alive in their platonic banter and I am here for it even if the rest of the Love Square is somewhat dead.

I have my two cents on Lukanette and that is even as a Love Square stan, they deserve better, at least for half the season, and allow Luka to heal, and Marinette to focus on herself and being a guardian.

I sort of see the impact of Chat Blanc in this episode, but I am not a very emotional person when it comes to watching TV and even though it did not make me cry, it was still emotionally heavy for me, so take it as you will.

Anyways, we are back on track my peoples and I will add on to this post once the English Dub comes to light. See you all soon!

[curiosity-killed]

hello! what are your top five (or more) hualian fics? I can't just keep rereading your fics so I desperately need some recs! c:

adsjhlk anonnn ;A; ah okay so some of my faves pulled from my top tier of bookmarks (which is wildly subjective and depends upon the day and mood but oh well. here we are):

(under cut bc this got real long)

you'll know, you'll fall by mme_anxious

Rating: E

Summary:

“We talked about it,” Xie Lian says, hearing the frustration in his voice. “I want to go to the next step.” “It's okay if you don't—” Hua Cheng started. “I do! God, I want it so much. I don't want you thinking that I don't. I—I think about it all the time, San Lang.” Hua Cheng looks pleased, the tops of his cheekbones flushing to match his red shirt, and his thumb strokes the back of Xie Lian's hand. “What do you think about, gege?” -- Xie Lian seeks a lesson in desire. And another. And another.

My notes (apologies for this one it’s drawn straight from my bookmark notes lmao):

INTIMACY IS WORTH THE VULNERABILITY! TRUST IS REAL! LOVE EXISTS! HOLY SHIT!!!

i might be tearing up a little bit bc of the abundance of love and care apparent both between hualian and in the writing of this fic. it's. A Lot.

Animal and Real by etymologyplayground (but also all of EP’s hualian fics because they’re the fics I most reread ^^’)

Rating: T

Summary:

Ling Wen and Shi Qing Xuan establish the communication array, and then Ling Wen leaps into the well and disappears. Shi Qing Xuan walks over and sits in front of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. "So," she says. "Dianxia. Crimson Rain Seeks Flower. Fancy meeting you here."

--

Book 1 ended on a cliffhanger. I fell off.

Alternate summary: "Xie Lian's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" Slowly Animorphs Into "Xie Lian And Hua Cheng Have A Nice Day, Actually"

My notes:

I like...don’t...actually....have words for this LMAO but basically I love, love, love Xie Lian getting to be hurt and hurting and Hua Cheng finding different ways to comfort and help him and actually talking about things (like Xie Lian accidentally hurting Hua Cheng’s feelings and them actually TALKING ABOUT IT) and just hnnnn yeah. this is like my go-to fic haha but I heartily rec all of etymologyplayground’s fics for tgcf (also many mdzs/cql fics but i am apparently behind in reading those orz)

le renard apprivoisé by hilarions

Rating: G

Summary:

If you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others, and hearing it will call me like music out of my burrow. You will understand that the things that are yours are unique in all the world. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.

My notes:

Ah gosh. Hua Cheng equating himself with a starving, injured wild thing that doesn’t deserve care or compassion, Xie Lian telling him he loves him the fox anyway, the nature of dessert and love hnnn it’s a good time

Panopticon by @pengiesama​

Rating: M

Summary:

Jun Wu has built a very splendid home for Xie Lian, with gifts and friends and wondrous sights just for him. He will be very happy there.

Xie Lian won't take this house arrest lying down.

(Inspired by the book/movie Coraline, by Neil Gaiman.)

My notes:

Just an absolutely delectable balance of suspense and mild horror and love and aaahhh sometimes I forget that parts of this aren’t canon bc this is basically accepted as my canon of Jun Wu. Also “I was taller than that” will never not be my favorite thing

Tame to Fortune's Blows + Something Foreknown by crowdedcafe

Rating: M and T, respectively

Summaries:

For eight hundred years, Ruoye is Xie Lian’s only companion. It tries its best to ease some of his hardships, to lessen the misery he feels. But Ruoye is only a length of silk, and sometimes its love simply isn’t enough in the face of Xie Lian’s suffering.

Or, Ruoye loves Xie Lian when others don’t know how.

(TFB)

E-ming is born with a hole in his heart and an emptiness in his soul. Through centuries of hearing stories about Hua Cheng's beloved, E-ming grows to love the man he was born missing.

(SF)

My notes:

Just really lovely character studies essentially of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng through the lens of their weapons. personally I think they’re best read together but they are each standalone, canon-compliant fics 

ALSO:

Innocence Died Screaming, Honey Ask Me I Should Know by @eponinemylove​

Rating: T

Summary:

Hua Cheng puts a finger to his temple thoughtfully. He asks, "Who wants to tell me what the deal is with all these damn petals?"

The communication array goes completely silent, a feat almost in itself. Hua Cheng muses silently that gods can, apparently, shut the fuck up—they just choose not to. How convenient.

It takes a moment before Ling Wen manages to speak up. "Your Highness," she says carefully, "what did you say just now?"

"These white petals? There's got to be a hundred of them. The man just—oh yeah, there was a man—exploded into them. What's up with that?"

There's a long stretch of silence where it feels like all of Heaven is holding its breath.

Finally, Ling Wen responds. Her voice is clipped as she asks, "What do you know about the Four Calamities? Specifically, White Flower Mourns Massacre?"

Alternatively: the one where Hua Cheng is a martial god, Xie Lian is a calamity, and nobody is at all what they seem.

My notes:

AAAAAAHHHHH. GOD. THIS FIC. it would be embarrassing to admit how many times I’ve reread it (also I don’t know. late night decisions are not meant to be recorded in the ledger of memory) but it’s so fucking good. The characterization, the threads pulled from canon along with the deviations and alterations and the suSPENSE i am McLosing It. pls god someone come yell abt this fic with me i love it sm

I have such low Fic Reading Energy but. this babe. i see an update email and start vibrating like a gd electron.

Some other authors I trust with my heart and soul: @xihe-jun, merthurlin, atomicmuffin, uhhh I’m definitely missing people orz

[whumpmatsus]

Aaaaa so i read your one shot, about osomatsu stabding up for karamatsu who had an abusive s/o and holy shit im feeling so much for the poor boy ;^; and so happy to see more serious osomatsu, being protective of his brothers just warms my heart!! And i just adored how you wrote everything!! Is it okay if i request a sort of continuation to it? Maybe karamatsu went back to meeting people and his new partner got to know more abt his previous relationship? Maybe from him or osomatsu?? Sth to prolong the comfort? If you dont want to of course it's perfectly fine as well!

GOD RIGHT Kara deserves so much better!! (but, y'know, I had to hurt him, oooops)

Oso flexing his big brother muscles is a BIG FAVORITE I remember how much I fuckin LOVED writing that fic, Osomatsu is such a good big bro!!

you're so sweet, I'm glad you liked it! and AH GOSH this sequel was the best! it takes a hot minute to get into the plot but UGHHHH this is one of my faves to make a continuation to, Kara deserves all the comfort!!!

enjoy bb~ 💙💙💙

-

As far as the calendar can tell, your relationship with Matsuno Karamatsu is pretty new.

You’ve really only been together for a few months. That being said, though, sometimes it feels like you’ve known him for your whole life. The ease with which you’ve settled into being cozy with one another surprises you a bit; you’re just so comfortable with him.

He’s so cool,as far as you’re concerned. There’s this charisma about him that seems shy, like he always thinks you’ll react poorly to it, and he’s so relieved when you’re charmed by something he says. You can remember the times he’s put his leather jacket over you when it’s cold or raining, in a delicate way that implies he thinks you’ll push him away or shove it back at him. The shocked expression on his face when you instead snuggle into it (and him) is so adorable.

Quite honestly, he actually seems shocked whenever you treat him kindly. It’s when you cuddle into him while you’re watching a movie, or when you bring him his favorite juice while he’s working so he can keep his energy up, or when you kiss him out of nowhere just because you feel like it.

Even though you haven’t been with him a horribly long time, you feel pretty confident to say you’re falling for him. He’s the kind of person you could see a future with and you love being with him.

So, of course, when he timidly admits over the phone that he’s got a bad cold (he can’t even pretend to fool you, his shaky, congested voice gave it away), you’re over at the Matsuno household within an hour to take care of him.

Matsuyo isn’t home right now, but Karamatsu’s older brother Osomatsu answers the door to let you in.

“Hi, Osomakun!” you greet as you come into the house a bit weighed down by the bags you’re carrying. “Sorry I took so long to get here… I stopped by the konbini ‘cause I didn’t know how well stocked you guys were.”

He waves a hand. “Eh, probably a good idea. I can’t believe you got here as soon as you did, honestly.”

“Really?? I wish I’d been faster! All I could think about while I was standing in line was poor Karamatsu waiting for me while I was wasting my time…” You blow out a puff of air, then shake the bags a little. “Oh, I may have gotten some snacks for us, too. Is Kara upstairs?”

“Yeah, he’s trying to rest. But he’s also fighting himself to stay awake ‘cause he knew you were coming, the stubborn ass.”

You frown and immediately make a beeline for the stairs. “Ah, no, I feel even worse now. Kara!! It’s okay, your Karamatsu angel is here to help Osomakun take care of you! Your knight in shining armor is coming, baby!”

When you get upstairs, it seems Osomatsu has been taking pretty good care of Karamatsu for the better part of the day. He’s cocooned on the couch in a blanket, his eyes blinking slowly and heavily as he watches TV, clearly trying to keep himself from falling asleep.

As soon as you set yourself on the couch, you give him a kiss on the forehead as you set the bags down on the table. He looks confused when you glances up at you, his eyes tired. “Ah… you’re here? You came.”

“Of course I came! Oh, my God, I’m so sorry I took so long.” You start to open the bags, digging through them. “I went to the konbini first to get some stuff! Now, I’ve got the apple-flavored cough drops because I know they’re your favorite, but since they’re basically candy I really want you to try the licorice ones, too; those’ll actually help your throat. Plus I got some of those nice tissues with the lotion in them… I wasn’t sure if you had any here.”

You set things down on the table as you take them out, doing your best to arrange them. “Oh! I got a thermometer too… one of those ones for your forehead, so you don’t have to keep something in your mouth while your nose is stuffed up. Annnnd some canned coffee and stuff…” Here comes the stuff out of the ‘food’ bag. “Sorry to tempt you with potato chips, but those are for me and Osomatsu… they’d just scratch your throat. But I got some other stuff for you!”

It’s all laid out, still fresh enough to almost burn your hands since you just used the hot water dispenser at the front of the konbini on your way out. “The instant ramen might not seem that appealing, I know… but it’ll make you feel better. And I picked up some packs of karaage, so maybe if your throat feels better later you can snack on those. Oh, and here’s a nice, hot cup of barley tea! I only got one for now, but, the store is close enough that I can run back out to buy another one later, so…”

“A-ah…” Your own thoughts are interrupted by Karamatsu laughing softly, which turns into a string of coughs. Quickly you’re reaching down to pat his back, and just as quickly he takes your hand. He brings it to his chest, tugging it close as if he wants to kiss your fingers… then he pauses. “Do you not want me to…?”

You smile at him and practically push your hand up to his lips, a wave to calm your frazzled mind washing over you. Apparently you didn’t realize just how anxious you were to take care of him until that magic kiss of his brought you out of it a bit. “What’s wrong? Why’d you laugh?”

An extension of the feverish flush on his face branches out in his cheeks, making it obvious he’s blushing. “I appreciate all this, my darling… it’s just… you didn’t have to go to such trouble for me…” Another few coughs trickle out, and he looks at you with a shy smile. “I… I’m just glad you’re here. I wasn’t sure you would want to waste your time with me while I’m so ill. The good thing is, your mere presence is making me feel better already, heh.”

Ah, he’s as full of crap as usual. There’s no way you just being here is doing any good for that cough or fever! It’s… kind of sweet, though. He’s always kind of sweet like that. “It wasn’t any trouble, silly,” you mutter, running your hand through his hair. “And it’s not wasting time. If you’re not feeling well, I’d rather be here with you than doing anything else. My poor baby.”

You hear Osomatsu snort as he moves to settle down on the floor in front of the couch. “Man, Karamacchan, you’re getting fawned all over today! Lucky bastard. Maybe I’ll fake being sick so my girlfriend will take care of me like this.”

“… The girlfriend who only exists in your head, dear brother?”

“Awww, rude! I’m gonna eat these delicious potato chips, right in front of your face, while you can’t have any.”

“Hmph, I see. Well, choke on them, then.”

“What the hell, you’re stealing Ichimatsu’s lines now?! Pffff, I’m telling him!”

“And he’ll probably say you deserved it!”

You laugh, waving between the two of them to break up this back-and-forth of brother teasing. “Okay, boys! Osomakun, eat the potato chips before I take them away and leave you chipless. Kara, honey, I’m gonna take your temperature and then feed you some of the ramen, okay?”

“A-ah, darling, you don’t have to…”

“Shhh, I want to. Now, just give me a clear shot at your forehead…”

-

As it turns out, Karamatsu’s fever isn’t too high; 37.8, which means this is probably just a normal cold. It is, however, enough of an excuse for you to baby him as much as you possibly can.

After you take his temperature and manage to get some of the ramen in him, you gently encourage him to finish the tea. It’s his favorite, and once it’s been sitting for a bit, it’s cooled down enough that he isn’t going to burn his tongue on it. By the time you coax him to drink the whole cup, he’s starting to look sleepy again.

Osomatsu turns on the TV at a low volume, some old Western movie that Karamatsu has seen about a million times, so it should be the perfect background for him to relax and drift off. You lower your boyfriend back down into a reclined position with his head on the pillow, and tuck the blanket around him. Another kiss is pressed to his face, this time his cheek. He smiles, his breathing slows down to a steadier rhythm, and before long you’re pretty sure he’s fallen asleep.

Only then do you lean forward to grab a couple chips out of the bag Osomatsu has, only to find that he’s saved you nothing but crumbs. He teases you about it, and you playfully roll your eyes while pulling another pack of them out of your bag. You kind of had a feeling.

A little while passes in relative quiet. Surprisingly enough, it’s not awkward. You and Osomatsu can sit together watching TV or just chatting without much difficulty.

Though today, you’re both silent… until he suddenly speaks up. “You’re really good with him, you know.”

“Hm?” For the past few minutes you’ve been stroking Karamatsu’s hair, watching him rest. He’s so adorable, scrunching up his little red nose in his sleep, drooling a little bit from one side of his mouth, and letting out these soft sighs that make you feel somehow lighter. You could watch him sleep for hours, just sitting here beside him and playing with his hair. “What do you mean, Osomakun?”

He takes a sip from his drink, then gestures his head toward Karamatsu. Both of you are sitting on the floor now, next to each other, so he has to tilt his head up slightly. “You’re good with him… you know… taking care of him and all that junk. You remember his favorite stuff, and you think about what he might like or need and… you’re all gentle with him.”

You chuckle. “Isn’t that how people are supposed to be with their boyfriends? I’d only be rough if he asked for it, and… you… don’t need to hear about that, haha.”

“Oh, please, I’m his big brother; I would know if you’d popped his cherry yet, and I know you haven’t,” Osomatsu snorts. “Listen, I may joke and everything, but can I be serious for a minute?”

“I dunno,” you tease, sticking your tongue out at him, “can you? That’s a pretty long time for youto be serious.”

He shakes his head. “Wow, rude. Okay, for real, though. You really care about him, huh?”

You tilt your head. What’s he getting at? Would you be with Karamatsu if you didn’t care about him? “Well… of course. He’s a great guy.” Your hand wanders back to go for another pass through his hair. “He really deserves the world. Or as much of it as I can give to him, anyway.”

Osomatsu hums and knocks back the rest of his soda before sighing. “You treat him a lot better than this last girlfriend did, at least.”

“… Yeah?” To be totally honest, you’ve always been a little curious about the past relationships Karamatsu’s had. He never even makes vague references to them like saying ‘my last boyfriend drove me nuts when he did this’ or ‘the girlfriend I had in high school did the same thing’ or anything like that. It’s just something he’s never mentioned, and he could fool you into thinking he’d never dated anyone before you simply because he doesn’t talk about having done so.

There have also been a few things that… make you suspicious. Not in a bad way, but just situations that have happened which lead you to think his previous relationships weren’t good ones.

You scoot a little closer to Osomatsu, and give a glance back toward your sleeping beauty of a boyfriend. “She wasn’t nice to him, you mean?”

“Nope, she was a piece of work.” He does the same thing, looking up toward Karamatsu. “Hey, Kara. You okay with me tellin’ them shit about Naoko?”

You’re a bit startled when Karamatsu actually speaks up. “That’s fine… I just…” He opens his eyes just a crack, enough to look at you with something unidentifiable but undeniably anguished in his eyes. “… Hadn’t really got around to it yet. I don’t like thinking about it, so… you’re more than welcome to talk about it for me.”

Osomatsu nods, and sets his empty can down on the table. “Yeah, so, (Name), I’m not exaggerating when I talk about how horrible this chick was, okay? Calling her crazy would be an insult to crazy people. She’s not. She knew exactly what she was doing and just didn’t give a shit.”

Well. That’s not promising. You reach up to take Karamatsu’s hand, carefully stroking your thumb over the back of it. He responds with a sigh that you think means he’s happy to have the contact.

“That bad, huh?” you ask.

Osomatsu is quiet for a moment. When he does speak up, though, what he says is chilling. “Yeah. About three months before you guys met, she put him in the fucking hospital.”

“What?!” It comes out before you can stop it. Your grip on Karamatsu’s hand gets tighter, concerned. Protective. “Th… the hospital? What happened?”

“I dunno, exactly… I wasn’t there. All I know is what Kara told me. He says she got upset, wanted to throw something, and reached for the nearest thing… which was him. Grabbed him and slammed his face into the wall.” He crosses his arms. “She gave him a concussion. You ever see that little scar on the right side of his forehead, or notice how he can’t quite open his right eye all the way?”

You look up at Karamatsu, focusing on trying to find those things. Although you did make note of his eye, you’ve never seen this supposed scar. It must be hidden under his bangs; with him being the way he is, you’d guess he takes great pains to try and hide it from you.

“That’s… from her? From what she did?” Your heart is sinking down into your stomach like a rock. It’s incomprehensible to you why someone would want to hurt a person like Karamatsu. He’s kind and generous and passionate. Obviously nobody is perfect, and he’s got his flaws, but he’s the most wonderful partner you’ve ever had. He tries so hard to make you happy, and that’s always made you want to do things to make him happy in return.

It didn’t hit you until now that someone as sweet as him might attract people who, rather than want to make him happy, would take advantage of the fact that he wants to make them happy.

You frown. “It… wasn’t just a one-off thing, was it? It couldn’t have been.” With someone like this woman, you can’t imagine that such behavior only happened once. That’s not how abuse works.

“Nope.” Osomatsu tilts his head as if thinking about it. “Well, the concussion was the big thing. The only, like, big physical thing… I mean, like, that was the only time she put him in the hospital. But I know he’s told me there were other times she put her hands on him.”

Your head feels like it’s spinning. How could someone do that? How? How could this woman look at Karamatsu, someone so kind who probably bent over backwards to make her happy, and hurt him like that?

Osomatsu stretches his legs out under the table. “It wasn’t just that shit either, y’know. She was always talking shit about him. Making these comments. Totty talked about when he and his dates went out with Karamatsu and Naoko, and she made these ‘jokes’ about stuff like… saying Karamatsu’s sunglasses were broken because she punched him so that was why he wasn’t wearing them. Laughing about it, like she was kidding, but I don’t think she was. And she blamed him for everything. The one time I actually met her in person, she said it was Kara’s fault they were late.”

He shakes his head, leaning back against the couch. If you had to guess, he’s livid just thinking about it, and you don’t blame him. He’s the oldest of six boys; he’s almost certainly used to looking out for all his younger brothers. You’re sure he felt helpless being unable to keep Karamatsu safe from this woman. “She abused him every chance she got. Once they got together, she somehow convinced him to move in with her pretty fast, and then it was like we never really saw him too much after that, especially me. She never wanted us visiting, she never let him come over here, and he was afraid to leave because he didn’t think he’d have anywhere else to go and didn’t want to hurt her.”

“… She isolated him from you guys,” you say quietly, and squeeze Karamatsu’s hand. You’re almost relieved by the fact that he squeezes back. “She… made sure he didn’t have anyone but her in his life. She didn’t want him having anyone to go back to.”

“You said it.” Osomatsu’s face is dark, troubled. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this angry before. You can’t really blame him, either. Just thinking about what Naoko did to your poor boyfriend pisses you off. Even though you’re not really a violent person, you don’t know what you would do if you met this woman. “They were together for almost a year before she put him in the hospital. We all brushed the signs off until that… I thought she was just kind of a bitch and that things wouldn’t stick. But…”

After what feels like too long, Karamatsu speaks up again. His voice is soft and raspy, exhausted, and thin like he’s been crying. “It wasn’t your fault, Osomatsu. Even if you had tried to talk to me about it… before then… I was brushing things off, too. I don’t know that I would have listened.”

You push yourself up onto the couch, moving so you can lie down with Karamatsu. The good news is that he readily leans into your touch, easing his face into your neck. You press a tender kiss to his head. “It wasn’t your fault, either,” you murmur against his skin. “That girl… she was all inside your head and everything. That’s how people like that work. It’s not your fault you fell for it… she wanted you to.”

Tears start to form in your eyes as you think back to all those things that have made you suspicious. Everything that seemed strange at the time falls into place as a picture of what he’s been through. “Kara… that fight we had last week…”

God, you don’t even remember what it was about, really. Something small and insignificant, your first real fight in the few months you’ve been together. It turned out fine and you made up, but you recall moving to sort of throw your hands up in frustration, and this fear flashed in Karamatsu’s eyes… like he thought maybe you were going to hit him.

You didn’t know what to make of it then. You dismissed it as him maybe overreacting because he’d had a bad day.

Now you know what to make of it: sense.

“You must have been terrified. I… I’m so sorry.” You cuddle closer against him like you can make up for it, even though you didn’t actually do anything wrong… from his point of view, it was probably like a horror movie. “I didn’t… I would never…”

He nods. “Mmh. I… I know that now…” Oh, gosh. He actually has been crying. You can feel his tears against your neck. This poor man… he’s so kind and gentle. What kind of monster could look at him and want to tear him down instead of keep him safe? “Things are better. You, my angel, are nothing like her. I… I apologize if I still… flinch around you sometimes. It isn’t you, and I’m sorry if I ever give you that impression.”

“No, no, sweetheart…” You sink yourself down into him, snaking your arms around his waist and kissing him again. And he’s still worried about how you feel? Fuck. He’s too much. He’s so loving and beautiful and you’re never going to let anything bad happen to him, ever again. Nobody is ever going to touch him like that while you’re around.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m sorry I scared you…” More kisses are lavished against the top of his head, his temple, his shoulder, any part of him you can possibly reach at the moment. “You’re such an incredible guy… you’re so sweet, and I love that you always wanna make me smile, and it seems like all I ever think about is kissing you, haha… you deserve so much better than what she did to you.”

You stroke his hair, and relax a little when you feel a warm sigh against your neck. He was so stiff for a minute… now he’s calm again. God, you hope he feels safe with you right now. “I love you, Kara,” you mumble, moving your arm enough so that you can rub at his back. You haven’t said that before yet, but now… now is definitely the right time. “I promise I’ll make you feel it every day.”

It feels like he’s shaking in your arms. You think he’s still crying; too overwhelmed by that knowledge, made more emotional by the fever, tired after thinking about all these terrible things that were done to him just a short time ago. Being treated like this by a romantic partner is apparently so new to him, maybe it shouldn’t surprise you that he’s knocked off his feet by someone saying that to him.

“I-I love you, too,” he replies. His voice is thready, as if he’s going to break apart any second. His breath puffs in and out against your skin, more tears dripping down. It doesn’t bother you at all. You like having him so close and vulnerable, so you can treat him with the love he deserves. So that maybe he can start to learn again that someone canlove him without treating him badly, that he can be vulnerable with you and it won’t hurt. “And I… I’ll try to accept it… and to do the same… I swear.”

Somewhere behind you, you can hear Osomatsu shift onto his feet. He lets out a hum at the two of you, then you hear his feet padding across the floor. “Y’know… I feel like a walk might be nice. I’m gonna head to the konbini so you don’t have to make another trip, (Name). Lemme get us some more potato chips, right? Aaaand I’ll get more tea for you, Kara.”

Neither of you respond, although Karamatsu tries to look up at his brother. Whatever expression he makes just elicits a laugh from Osomatsu. “Shit, you guys are too much! You lovebirds just relax in your nest and I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Karamatsu presses into you again, and you roll over so that he can lie on top of you. After all, the last thing he needs right now is someone on top of him. It’s better this way.

“Love you, hon,” you say again, carding your hand through his hair. “C’mere, just snuggle with me, okay? You can go back to sleep if you want. You’re sick, and I bet thinking about all that shit made you tired. Try to get some rest. Let me know if you need anything.”

He lays his head on your chest, like he does sometimes when you’re cuddling on a normal day. (His explanation is that your heartbeat sounds like a song to him. He’s so cute.) “I love you, too… I’ll do my best… mh.”

Slowly, his eyes drift shut. You think he’s asleep, but he might be tricking you again. Either way, that’s fine. He’s trying to chill out, so you’re just going to keep playing with his hair and watching him and rubbing his back.

You’re going to do what that other woman never did.

You’re going to take care of him.