#from setting you guys up to babysitting to everything in between

[narumi-gens]

don’t tell anyone but maybe I want to write about platonic!Osamu and platonic!reader from atsumu’s POV…

[r6eduss]

Sweetness.

•Summary: Daryl and reader haven’t had time for each other lately, because of this the reader begins to have doubts and insecurities but Daryl is quick to ease them. (Fem reader)

•Warnings: 18+, Soft Dom!Daryl, Smut. Major character death spoilers.

•Word Count: 3.1k.

•Setting: The Commonwealth.

•A/N: Guys this is my first fic, I was bored and decided why not make fanfiction soo.. 😭 also inspired by @/corvidcrossbow ‘s I like it long fic 🫶🏼

You had been overly busy, overwhelmed with the labor that the Commonwealth had brought upon you. Having to deal with the changes of when the world just fell was difficult enough, finally adjusting to the wickedness and horrors of this world just to have to adjust to how the world used to be all over again? It’s been a hassle on you and Daryl’s backs.

Before the world had fallen, you were still in college, studying and planning to pursue to become a doctor. When you arrived at the Commonwealth, you had been beyond confused what your occupation before the apocalypse had anything to do with why you should’ve been accepted into this place, soon finding out that you would receive a position of employment that would be just like what you used to be before everything went down.

Not only have you been beyond exhausted with your position, lately Nabila has needed extra assistance with her and the children, and who are you to decline? You’ve always been a shoulder that your family can lean on.

Today was finally one of those days that you had off, and of course you had spent the majority of your day babysitting the children. You didn’t hate spending time with them, in fact, you enjoyed it. But you were beyond exhausted and craved some time alone with your unofficial husband, Daryl.

It was around around 9:45 pm at night, and you at last entered your shared apartment. The silence was loud, feeling ringing in your ears from it. Judith and RJ had been at Carol’s house for the day, and Daryl had been out being a soldier for our community, so you were accompanied with quietness and some time for yourself. It was honestly quite comforting, considering how overwhelmed you have felt lately.

You had sat down on your couch, pinching the space between your eyes that rested at the top of your nose and closing your eyes. “God..” you let out a sigh, feeling drained and spent. You gave yourself a couple seconds of emptiness then proceeded to get up and head for your shared bedroom with Daryl.

You placed your bag around one of the clothing hangers in your closet, and made your way to your dresser. You picked out a pair of panties, and a nightgown. With your clothes in hand, you headed towards the bathroom. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you gave yourself a moment to reflect on all the events that took place before finally arriving at the Commonwealth. All the loses.. Carl, Glenn, Abraham, Sasha, Jesus, Tara and the list still goes on! You can't help but miss them and wish they were here to see the community that has been built here.

You catch yourself lost in your train of thought, and then work on stripping yourself of your clothes. You move to turn on the water, giving it a moment to get warm, then getting into the shower.

After your shower, you quickly slipped into your clean nightgown and panties. You took your used and dirty clothes and stuffed them into a basket, where you and Daryl’s laundry needed to be done. Standing next to your’s and Daryl’s queen sized bed, you quickly got comfortable under the sheets. A sigh left your lips, thinking of how much your mind and soul craved Daryl. Lately, you guys have had no time for yourselves.

You and Daryl have known each other since the quarry in Atlanta. At first, you thought he hated you, but sooner or later you realized that he isn’t one for communication. He showed his acts of love through his actions, always making sure you were safe.

Since the quarry, you had always stuck by his side. Sticking up for him when Rick, Glenn, T-dog and the others decided to leave his brother Merle on a rooftop alone. Daryl had refused your company at first, but with time, he warmed up to you and tolerated your presence. And eventually, he found himself falling for you, but of course you were the one to make the first move on him.

When you guys had arrived at the prison, that is when you made your move. It took a lot of self sabotaging on Daryl’s part before you guys had become official. And even then, Daryl isn’t particularly fond of label’s.

It had taken a lot of time for Daryl to start opening up to you even after you guys had established your love for each other. It was also awhile of staying at Alexandria for you guys to start getting intimate. Eventually with each other’s time together, you learned all about his trauma’s, the backstory of his scars and his childhood.

You were utterly in love with Daryl Dixon, and he was in love with you, he just had trouble saying those things out loud.

Your train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the door opening, your tummy immediately felt as if it was filled with butterflies while blood rushes to your face, knowing that it was Daryl finally coming home.

You lift your head up as Daryl enters your shared bedroom, he looks tired, exhausted.. His hair is laced with sweat while he’s in the commonwealth’s standardized white-color armor. You’ve always thought he looked quite handsome coming back from a run.

“Hey..” you begin to sit up, now facing your lover.

“Hey.” he gruffed out. Your heart began to ache as your thoughts were laced with worry. Daryl has been so worn out lately, and has barely had any time to see you. What if he was starting to lose the attraction he had for you? What if he was starting to realize he’s interested in someone else? That possibility could become a reality considering you found yourselves in a community of 50 thousand other people.

“So, how was the run today?” You try your hardest to ease the silence, the quietness that had comforted you earlier was no longer comforting. Your nerves began to eat you from the inside out that you began to fidget with your thumbs, that’s something you’d always do when you were nervous, everybody knew.

Daryl knew.

“It was ‘ight.” He quickly took notice of how you began to fidget.

“Wha’ is wrong with ya?” He looked right into your eyes, his tone infected with slight concern. He was waiting for your response as he began to take off the annoying armor that he was required to wear.

Your heart race began to speed up, worried that he would view you as insecure and pathetic, you decided to avoid telling him what you were truly worried about. “Nothing! Just.. had an exhausting week.” You hoped he’d take your answer and roll with it, you were deathly afraid of Daryl seeing you less than you are.

After Daryl finished taking off the armor, he decided to accept the answer you gave him for now. He was tired, and was in no mood to go back and forth.

“Daryl, you should probably take a shower.” you just wanted him to relax for once, even with Ezekiel being the leader of this place, he never once let his guard down and you just wanted him to finally rest.

“Hm. Ya wan’ to get in wit’ me?” Daryl is never one to initiate things, but one thing he always loved was being able to share a shower with you. It felt romantic. Intimate.

“I already showered. We can cuddle when you get out?” You didn’t think anything of your response, well that was until…

He let out what seemed like an annoyed grunt. He took his clothes and headed to the bathroom. You’ve never been more anxious. Did what you say bother him? Did you piss him off? You released an irritated grunt from your lips as you hear the shower head turn on. You decide to lay back down, feeling your brain fall into a spiral of unpleasant anxious thoughts.

It’s been almost 20 minutes, and you’ve been in a complete swirl of negativity. Your chest felt heavy, feeling your heart completely sunken. Were you having an anxiety attack? You eventually hear the shower head stop and you could’ve sworn you were on the verge of passing out, since when were you so nervous around Daryl? You’ve always been super comfortable around him, feeling safe. Maybe it’s because of all this time trying to survive and to keep our loved one’s alive.

Hearing the sounds of him getting dressed, you can’t help but feel more uneasy. You were never fond of people being angry at you, and especially Daryl of all people. Sooner or later, the bathroom door opens. You look up and see Daryl wearing a regular dark gray T-shirt with gray sweatpants, he never was one to sleep without a shirt, considering his scars.

He walks over to the basket of clothes that needs to be washed, and puts the clothes that he was wearing under the uncomfortable set of white armor in the basket.

He looks in your direction, catching you once again fidgeting with your thumbs.

You refuse to look at him, feeling strong tension between you and him. Your breath hitches as you feel the bed dip, noticing that he was getting right into bed, next to you. He starts to get comfortable, getting under the sheets and closer to you.

The both of you lay completely flat on your backs, That’s when you feel him put his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer to him, head laying on his chest.

“I know somethin’ is up.” He takes your hand, making it rest on his chest. “Talk t’me.”

All the warmth went immediately to your face. It felt as if you stopped breathing for a moment, you didn’t wanna be difficult, that’s when you decided to just tell him about your worries, he has a right to know after all.

“Daryl, I'm scared.”

“Scared of wha’?”

Taking a deep breath, you continue. “I’m scared that one day you’ll realize that maybe i’m not enough for you.” You pause for a moment, then resume. “And, are you annoyed with me?”

His eyes widened a bit, it’s not what he was expecting. Not in the slightest. He lifts his head a little.

“Nah, m’not annoyed with ya.” He proceeds to lay on his side, facing towards you. “An’ why are ya thinkin’ ya wouldn't be enough?” From the bottom of his heart, he doesn’t have a single clue where this is coming from. Daryl is the most loyal person on this shitty earth, and he can swear up and down that he loves you to death.

“I don’t know.. We’ve been so busy lately getting used to the Commonwealth, and there are so many people here! So many options.. Maybe eventually you’ll realize that i’m not what you truly want.” Shamefully, the truth escapes your lips. You’ve never felt more insecure. Usually, you felt secure within your relationship, but the stress has truly gotten to your head.

He moves closer to your face, and puts his hand on your cheek, cupping the side of your face. His thumb gently rubbing against it.

“Don’t want nobody here but you.”

Your heart skips a beat, Daryl isn’t one for being upfront, and he isn’t the greatest at comforting people, but he loves you, and he’s very sure of that.

He locks eyes with you, admiring you and your beauty. For a second you could’ve sworn he had stolen a glance at your lips? Or maybe you were seeing things.

Your mind feels more at ease, and you break out a slight giggle “I’m sorry. I know I sound stupid, I just miss you.”

He uses his other hand to move your hair strand out your face, and cup the other side of your face, moving closer. “Ya’ don’t sound stupid.” He’s quick to lean in, closing the gap between the both of you, finally stealing a kiss from you.

His lips are kind of chapped, but oddly enough, still soft. The kiss was soft and tender, only having pure love behind it. Your eyes flutter open, just to see him staring at you. “I love you.”

Your lips curve up into a passive and cute smile, he never says it first.

“I love you too.”

You lean in for another kiss, the both of you have been so touch starved these past couple days. The kiss was gentle and sweet, but more ambitious. Even the slightest things about Daryl can get you going, and you sure as hell are in need of some sex. Especially after these couple weeks.

You lean more into the kiss, and that’s when you hear a grunt come from him. You swear you could turn into a puddle right then and there.

Eventually, you pull away, obviously needing to breathe. “Daryl, i’ve missed you.”

The corner of his lips turn into a slight smirk, and he begins to gently place his hand on the back of your head, playing with your hair.

“I know.”

That’s when he kisses you again, only this time using his hand on the back of your head to lean you in closer. This kiss was more needy.. More intimate.

You accidentally whine into the kiss, pressing your thighs together as you can already feel your panties start to get wet. He moves his hand from the back of your head to your waist, caressing and feeling your curves. He slowly makes his way to your thighs, where he takes the opportunity to pull you on top of him, and have you sitting on his lap while he lays on his back. You could feel his hard on.

“D-daryl.. I need you.” you say in a whine, you felt his cock twitch under you, he has his hands rested on your hips and has the most perfect view of you. He could stay like this forever.

“Yeah?” He said it in such a sweet and gentle tone it could drive you insane. One thing Daryl loved to do was tease you, he knew how flustered you could get. “Mhm.” You begin to tuck at his pants, looking into his eyes for approval.

With a slow nod, he consents. “G’on.” He wanted this as badly as you did, and tonight, he was going to make sure you were taken care of.

You were quick to go ahead and start to take off his pants and boxers while also taking off your nightgown, wanting nothing more than to feel his cock stretch out your tight cunt. He watched as you stripped him, missing every inch of you and your body.

Witnessing as his cock sprung out, your clit throbbed and you could feel your nipples harden. Daryl gently runs his hand through your hair, making sure that you are enjoying every inch of this. You prop yourself up, sliding your panties to the side and gripping his shaft while slowly lowering yourself onto it. You could’ve came right then and there. He stretched you out, and was always able to make you feel full and complete.

He lets out a low grunt, not only watching you lower yourself onto him, but also feeling the tight and warm sensation of you around him. You needed a moment to adjust to his size, you both haven’t made love since before the war with the whisperers, you just haven’t had the time.

After a moment, you began to move, slowly rocking your hips and lifting yourself up onto him. “Fuck..” You couldn’t help but let out a moan, you were full, and you were overly sensitive. Daryl squinted his eyes shut for a moment, he too had forgotten the bliss and feeling of him inside of your cunt.

With time, you sped up, bouncing on his cock. You threw back your head, rolling your eyes and having your mouth agape, It was almost embarrassing how slutty you looked. His hands roughly gripped your hips, hard enough to leave bruises, while also thrusting up into you. You were close but you felt yourself starting to grow tired.

You buried your head into Daryl’s neck, whining. He took the chance to flip you over onto your back, and take control. He pounded into you, the sound of skin slapping and the headboard rutting into the wall filling the room. You heard Daryl growl and you let out a loud and filthy moan, feeling embarrassed you were quick to slap your hand over your mouth, until Daryl grabs your wrist, and puts it above your head.

“Wanna hear ya.” He whispered, his voice gravelly. He loved the sounds you’d make, especially knowing that you were making those noises because of him. He continued to fuck you into your mattress, having one hand pinning down yours, and the other on your hip. With your other free hand, you found it roaming up into his hair. His hand gripping your hip quickly moved under your thigh, lifting your leg above his shoulder and adjusting his position. He thrusted into you, hitting your sweet spot and going at a relentless pace. You whimpered and proceeded to tug on his locks, pulling it.

And that’s when he let out a whine.

You could feel your core tightening, knowing that you were close. “D-daryl.. Please don't stop.” Waves of pleasure were rushing through you, and his scent filling your nostrils.

“Ain’t gunna.” He then leaned into your neck, leaving kisses and love bites up and then down to your breasts. You could hear his accent begin to grow thicker, That's how you knew he was approaching his release as well.

You were head empty, feeling your walls tightening around his cock and clit brushing against him. You were both laced with sweat while also letting out gasps and whimpers. He knew your body so well, and knew all the right things just to tip you over the edge. Daryl was also incredibly gentle with you, this wasn’t just fucking this was love-making.

“Daryl.. Im gonna–” He interrupted you with a sloppy kiss, when he pulled away there was a string of saliva still connecting the both of you. He used his tongue to lick up from your chest to your neck, the feeling of his wet mouth against your skin, it sent shivers down your spine, and that’s when you couldn’t anymore. You gasped as you reached your peak, the knot in your tummy finally unraveling. He rode out your high, pounding into you a couple more times before he pulled out and came onto your belly, letting out a low groan and making a mess out of you.

He collapsed right beside you, the two of you were both a panting mess.

With both of you still slowly recovering, he moves to look towards you and uses his thumb and index finger to raise your chin. “Ya feelin’ better sunshine?” His little nickname for you forever gave you butterflies.

“Mhm! I think im due for another shower though...” You attempt to move, feeling Daryl’s warm serum drip down from your tummy to your legs.

“I’ll join ya.” He says, as he helps you up and directs you both to your bathroom.

Divider credits: anitalenia 🦋

[probably-writing-x]

Missing Piece.

Summary: can you do conklin!reader x conrad where since she’s the oldest sibling, laurel had so much expectations for her and she held a lot of responsibility to the point where she couldn’t even enjoy being a kid. this is gonna sound sad but let’s say conrad chose belly over her but he was really just confused about what he wants which was reader but since her and belly are so similar, he chose belly and the reader had a big argument that led to her being the bad guy and all the stress caused her to just leave cousins and cut contact with everyone. Flash forward like 2 years ( reader is in college and everyone else is beginning college soon ) reader comes back to cousins and everyone is shocked to see she has a son 😭 it doesn’t have to be conrad’s i was thinking it could be like an ex boyfriends or one night stand’s BUT yeah she comes back with a whole kid and she’s so grown now. ( you can add a lil stepdad conrad if you want 😮‍💨 )

Warnings: Discussions of toxic family relations, mentions of unplanned pregnancy

Author’s Note: I’m sorry this is so long but I took this idea and RAN with it! Hope y’all enjoy plz plz plz let me know what you think

You always knew how your little sister Belly had felt about Conrad when you were all growing up. For as long as you could remember, she’d been head over heels for him. She laughed a little harder at his jokes, remembered a little more about everything he said. She loved him.

You weren’t exactly sure when your feelings for Conrad had started, however. He’d always just been a friend. The boy you spent every summer with as the two of you were responsible for babysitting the rest. He’d always just been Conrad. But lately that had felt like it was changing.

The worst part about it all? You couldn’t even tell him how you felt. For the fear of breaking your little sisters heart was worse than letting your own break right in front of you.

“Are you even listening to me (y/l/n)?” Conrad stretches out a leg to kick you from where he sat on the other end of the couch and you look up from your book to see him.

“Um,” You clear your throat, “No, I didn’t hear a word you said.”

He rolls his eyes at you, “I asked if you were coming to the party tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, I hadn’t thought about it,” You shrug, “Is everyone going?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I haven’t asked everyone. I’ve asked you.”

You smile in return, “Yeah, sure, I’ll come.”

He stretches forward and grabs the book from your hands, “What are you reading?”

“Con!” You exclaim, reaching over his legs to try to grab the book from his hands, “Give it back.”

He laughs and holds it high over his head, away from your reach as you fall forward, hand catching yourself on his chest.

You look up to his eyes and he’s looking down at you with a smirk on his lips.

“Can you please give me my book back?”

“I could,” He returns, the pages still tight between his grip.

“Okay, will you?”

“What’s in it for me?”

There’s something about the way he says the words. Hoarse in his throat, almost catching on his tongue, foreign tone to hear from his lips. You feel the heat increasing in your cheeks and try to ignore it.

“Nothing, just give it back,” You groan, stretching far up enough that your fingertips brush the pages and he eventually releases the book from his grip.

You compose yourself and return to your side of the couch, trying to ignore the deep heat coursing through your cheeks.

“Hey!” Belly’s voice sounds from the doorway as she comes in, “I’m not interrupting am I?”

“No, no, of course not,” Conrad stands up quickly from the couch, “Are you ready to go?”

Belly nods, “Yeah, sure. Are you coming (y/n)?”

You force a small smile in their direction, “I’ll be there in a bit.”

“(Y/n) I really need your help tonight,” Your Mom, Laurel walks into the room in their absence, “We’ve got so much to set up for tomorrow so I’ll need your help with it all.”

You set your book down and look up at her, “Actually I think there’s a party tonight that everyone’s going to so I sort of had plans.”

She brushes you off, busy looking at something on her phone, “Well just cancel your plans.”

“It’s a party, Mom, everyone’s going,” You roll your eyes, “Can’t I just help tomorrow morning?”

“Can you please not make this more difficult than it needs to be?” She shakes her head at you, “You’re eighteen now, aren’t you too old for those kinds of things?”

“Right, yeah, eighteen is the cut off point for having fun,” You stand up from the couch.

“(Y/n) wait!” She calls after you, “I need you to go to-“

“The store, yeah, I just got the list,” You wave your phone in your hand, “(Y/n) Conklin at your service.”

Your relationship with Laurel has never been ideal. You were the oldest of the three of you and so her expectations for you seemed far beyond what she wanted from the others. She was more patient with them, more understanding. You didn’t get that. They got a childhood and you got the responsibility of looking after them. They went to the fair? You had to make sure they all came back in one piece. They went to a party? You had to be the designated driver and make sure neither of them drank too much. Something important going on? They got to be kids whilst you dealt with it like an adult. You grew up too fast and she was to blame for that - her expectations tainting any form of childhood you could’ve held onto.

You step outside and start walking towards your car, pausing when you hear the sound of laughter from the others. Conrad has Belly in his arms, lifting her up from the ground as the other boys try to grab her legs. He’s holding her tight, a bright smile on his face when he looks at her. They’d had that tradition for years. Since you were first coming to Cousins. But you were never a part of it. Because whilst they grabbed Belly and ran her to the pool, you had to help your Mom carry in the luggage and set up everyone’s rooms. Traditions, right?

“(Y/n)!” Jeremiah yells over to you when he catches sight of you, “Are you coming later? We thought we could go to the store and get some drinks before we go.”

He walks over to you and the other boys follow behind.

“Um,” You drag a hand through your hair, glancing at the house, “I can’t come tonight, I’ve got stuff to help my Mom with here.”

“Oh come on, you’re so boring,” Steven groans, “You never come to parties.”

Right, because I’m too busy picking up the slack for you and Belly.

“Yeah, sorry, Laurel’s orders,” You shrug, “Maybe next time.”

“Can you at least stop at the store and use your fake? Thank youuuuu,” Steven yells back as he heads back towards the pool.

You roll your eyes, forcing a smile to the Fisher brothers, “I’ll see you guys later.”

Conrad frowns a little at you, “You sure you’re not coming?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I’ll be designated driver, you can just call me when you need picking up.”

He smiles faintly and watches as you head towards your car, your shoulders dropping as you let out a sigh. Laurel’s orders.

———

You spend the night helping your Mom and Susannah set up for their charity event before you eventually get a text from Steven asking you to come get them.

You drive across the town to the other end and pull up in front of the house, texting them to say you’re outside.

Only Jeremiah and Steven step out though.

“Thanks for coming,” Jere smiles, sitting in the back seat, “You’re a lifesaver.”

You frown at the two of them, “Where’s the rest?”

Steven laughs, “Don’t get us started.”

“What’s going on?” You ask, glancing back in the mirror to catch Jeremiah’s face, watching as his jaw clenches.

“Conrad and Belly disappeared together,” Steven explains, “They were all over each other, and then the next minute we couldn’t find either of them.”

“So-“ You clear your throat, words seemingly catching on your tongue, “So you don’t know where they are?”

“They’re together, they’re fine,” Steven shrugs, “But god I’m dreading hearing that story tomorrow.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and lock eyes with Jeremiah who just shrugs his shoulders at you. He was your counterpart in this. Him in love with Belly despite his brother. You in love with Conrad despite your sister.

“Can we go?” Steven nudges you, “I’m starving.”

The three of you drive back in relative silence apart from Steven hiccuping every five seconds, until you reach the house and you pull up on the driveway. You make sure to shut the door quietly behind you so that Laurel wouldn’t complain in the morning and the two boys disappear into the kitchen.

“(Y/n) can I eat some of your-“ Steven calls out loudly.

You stick your head around the doorframe of the kitchen and shush him, whispering back, “Eat whatever you want as long as it’s not the food for tomorrow.”

He salutes in your direction and you roll your eyes, walking through into the lounge and collapsing down onto one of the couches. Your Mom would kill you if Belly didn’t come home tonight, and especially if you didn’t have any clue where she was.

So whilst the boys eat and reside to their bedrooms, you wait.

-

It’s around three am when you hear the door open again and two hushed voices coming through into the silent house.

“Is everyone asleep?” You hear Belly whisper and you glance up from the couch.

That’s when you see it. His hand intertwined with hers, his flannel shirt around her shoulders, both of their eyes alight.

“I think so,” Conrad hisses in return as the two of them walk towards the stairs.

She steps up ahead of him but he pauses on the bottom step, glancing into the lounge where his eyes lock with yours. You don’t look away and neither does he, so you watch as he swallows the lump in his throat, his hand dropping from its grip on Belly’s.

You look away then, turning over on the couch so that your back faces them. It’s such a quick response isn’t it? Five seconds and now your throat feels like it can’t breathe air, and your eyes are pricked with tears threatening to spill. You let out a shaky breath and grip firmly onto the cushion beneath your head, your chest feeling tighter and tighter.

———

The following morning you wake up to the sound of voices in the kitchen and you groan at the sudden realisation of how uncomfortable the couch really is.

When you walk through, it’s your brother and sister.

“She’s alive!” Steven laughs, “What happened to you last night?”

You drag a hand over your face, “I-“ Your eyes shift to Belly who’s stood with the faintest smile over her face as she sips her coffee, the look of a girl in love, “I was going to stay awake to make sure Belly got back safe but I must’ve… I don’t know, I must’ve fallen asleep before she got back.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, we were pretty late,” She clears her throat, “I mean, I was- we weren’t-“

“Come on Bels everyone saw you and Conrad together,” Steven scoffs, “You didn’t exactly make it discrete.”

“Well, I-“ Belly laughs a little, “We just-“

“I don’t think I want to hear this,” Steven groans, “Please spare me the details.”

He takes a cup of coffee from the counter and walks out, his shoulders hanging low.

You take a deep breath and turn back to your sister, pausing for a second. Something about her seems so different - like she’s a whole new person. One piece of her life fallen into place and she was… happy. You swallow the lump in your throat.

“So, you and Conrad,” You mention, your back turned to her as you pull out a pancake mix from the cupboard.

“I don’t even know how it happened,” She shakes her head, “I mean, you all know I’ve had a crush on him since I could remember and then he told me he wanted us to be together and I-“

“He wants you to be together?” You half-choke out the words, your hands feeling weak, your heart numb.

“That’s what he said,” She nods, “We still need to talk about things but yesterday seemed pretty official.”

You blink a couple of times and take a deep breath, pulling your shoulders back a little, “That’s great, Bels, I’m happy for you.”

Before you can say anything more, Conrad walks through into the kitchen, pausing when he sees the two of you.

“Oh, um, morning,” He offers a small smile, letting out a breath.

You nod in greeting, “I’m going to leave you two to it.”

“(Y/n)…” Conrad speaks quietly as you go to leave, his hand reaching out towards you.

You look up at him and there’s a shift in his eyes, a difference in the way he looks at you. Like he knows everything and nothing about what he’s done.

“Never mind,” He shakes his head.

And you’re gone.

———

You don’t see them for the rest of the day. In fact, you don’t see anyone. You go down to the beach at some point in the afternoon and swim in the flat waves and return to the house hours later with damp hair. Your Mom makes a comment about how you need to look presentable for this evening.

You’ve showered and are sat on your bed wrapped in a baggy hoodie and shorts straightening your hair when there’s a knock on your door.

“(Y/n) can I come in?”

It’s Jeremiah.

“Yeah, of course,” You shift on your seat and he steps inside.

“I just wanted to see how you were,” He perches himself on the edge of the bed, looking at you through the mirror.

“I’m okay, this event should be good,” You lie through a smile, fixing the hair around your face.

“(Y/n)…” He frowns at you, “You don’t have to lie.”

“Wh-“

“He broke your heart,” He confirms for you, “And she broke mine.”

You laugh a little, “Well that makes us sound sad, Jere.”

He smiles gently, softly, “It’s okay for you to be upset about it. You don’t have to put on that facade like you normally do.”

“I just-“ You shake your head, “I can’t be upset. I’m happy for Belly, she’s loved him since forever.”

“(Y/n),” Jeremiah waits until you turn around to face him, “You’ve spent your life being happy for Belly, it’s okay for you to let yourself once wish that you were happy for you.”

You look down at the ground and back up, shaking your head a little as tears pool at your eyes, “I just really thought it would be me.”

Instantly, Jere jumps from the bed and hurries over to you, engulfing you in his arms as you bury your head into his chest.

“I did too,” He mumbles as he runs a hand up and down your back.

“God, I’m so stupid,” You laugh, dragging your hands under your eyes, “I need to stop this before tonight.”

He pulls back and holds both of your shoulders, “You’re going to get dressed into your best dress, and you’re going to look beautiful, and we’re going to drink, and drink some more, and we’re both going to forget all about last night. How does that sound?”

You nod your head, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Jeremiah grins, “Now cheer up before you make me cry too.”

You laugh softly, watching him disappear before you let out a shaky breath, turning back to yourself in the mirror and setting your shoulders back to fix your posture.

You could do this.

———

By the time you come downstairs, the house is flooded with people all in attendance for the event. The garden doors are open and people have spilled outside, all mingling between each other as Susannah goes around to greet everyone that she can.

You take a glass of champagne from the tray in the kitchen and tip it back until the liquid empties down your throat, and you grimace a little at the taste.

“Woah, take it easy Conklin,” Steven raises his brows at you as you refill your glass, “You never drink.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a party isn’t it?” You shrug your shoulders, tipping back another glass.

“Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Steven laughs.

You go to respond but your eyes fall on the pair just across the room. The girl’s fingers fixing the bow tie around the boy’s neck, her hands settling onto his chest soon after, a smile on her face. Belly and Conrad.

“They seem pretty-“

“Yeah, I know,” You respond quickly, “Made for each other.”

“I was going to say full-on,” Steven grimaces, “It’s weird.”

You shrug, “Maybe they’re happy.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and try to ignore the tightening in your chest, sure that you could leave at that sight alone.

How could you do this? How could you be normal with them when it was like this? How could you spend every day with them?

“I can’t be here,” You shake your head, “I need some air.”

You grab a bottle of tequila from the liquor display and take it with you outside, sipping from it before you’ve even got to the garden.

It’s colder as the sun is already setting but another sip of tequila seems to take the edge off just a little, and its already going to your head.

You start making your way around the perimeter of the pool, your steps a little off balance as you teeter across the edge.

“(Y/n)?” Belly’s voice calls from the doorway of the house, “What are you doing out here?”

Your foot spins you to face her and you catch sight of her at the door, a black jacket wrapped around her shoulders. The sight makes your heart sink into your stomach, churning your insides.

“Come on, Mom wants you to mingle wit-“

“I don’t care what Mom wants,” You reply harshly, swigging back the tequila once again.

“Wh- what are you talking about?”

“I’ve done my bit, okay? I’ve done more than my bit. She can leave me alone for one night,” You roll your eyes, “Just one fucking night.”

“What’s going on with you (y/n)? This isn’t like you,” She wraps her arms around herself, the jacket tightening across her shoulders.

“Is that… is that his jacket?”

The rational part of you is unsure as to why you even ask it. But the tequila is almost a third gone now, and you’re not sure the rational is what’s in control anymore.

“We- yeah, he gave it to me to come outside,” Belly confirms, “What’s that got to do with-“

“Did you know I liked him?” You interrupt.

“(Y/n) what-“

“Answer the question,” Your words are harsh, too harsh probably, “When you kissed him last night, when he told you he wanted to be with you, did you know that I liked him?”

“Come on, you know how I’ve felt about Conrad, how I feel about him,” Belly shakes her head, “This isn’t ab-“

“About me? Right, of course it’s not,” You scoff, stepping towards her, “Because god forbid things don’t work out the way Belly wants them to, right? God forbid we’re not all making sure that you’re happy and that things are going your way. God forbid anyone else get a fucking happy ending!”

You know you’re raising your voice, you can tell from the way she flinches as you speak. But that doesn’t seem to matter anymore either.

“You wanted him and so you got him. And me and Jere? We don’t matter, do we? We’re just thrown to the curb so that you can be fucking happy,” You half laugh, “I gave up everything for you, Belly. For you and for Steven, I gave up my whole fucking childhood. I couldn’t be a child because you two needed to be them instead. So I grew up, I stopped going out so I could do chores for Mom, chores that you missed because you were too busy with Taylor or at volleyball or failing your fucking classes. I did it all! I gave up everything. And the one thing it felt like I had was… him.”

You choke out the last word and feel the tears prick at your eyes.

“Conrad was the only one that understood, the only one who knew what it was like to feel responsible for your asses,” You scoff, “And… I gave that up too.”

“You didn’t give him up, (y/n), Conrad chose to be with me!” Belly defends, her voice breaking.

By now, the small crowd in the garden has started to increase to hear what was going on, people slowly starting to trail out of the door until you see the familiar faces.

“Girls, can we try doing this somewhere else?” Susannah steps outside, trying to smile for the guests gathering around.

“(Y/n)!” Laurel hisses, hurrying down to where the two of you stood, “Can you control yourself please? There are guests here!”

You look at her and let out a scoff, “My fault, of course.”

“You should know better,” She mutters to you, faking a polite smile for the people watching.

“Yeah, maybe I should, Mom,” You nod, fighting back your tears, “Excuse me.”

You step away from her and Belly and push your way across the garden, towards the side of the house, past the outdoor shower.

“(Y/n)!” Conrad’s voice approaches from behind you.

You keep walking in your direction, refusing to be interrupted until you feel the grip of his arm around your wrist, turning you around.

“Get off me, Conrad,” You pull away from him but his grip remains.

“Talk to me (Y/n)!” He exclaims, “Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”

“Tell you what’s going on?” You laugh, “Like you don’t fucking know!”

“l do- What do you want me to say?” He looks frantically between your eyes, dropping his hand from your arm.

“I want you to tell me that it’s Belly you want,” You snap, “I want you to tell me that you feel the same way about her as she feels about you.”

“It’s- I mean… it’s complicated.”

“It fucking shouldn’t be!” You yell back, “You chose her, you should know how you feel about her.”

“Chose her? What… you…”

“Yeah, you fucking chose her!” You push his chest, “I was right fucking here Conrad! I was right here! I’ve always been here,” Your voice cracks and tears spill over your cheeks.

Conrad holds your hands over his chest, like he wants to hold onto a piece of you, “(Y/n) I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know,” You step back, sniffing, “Of course you didn’t.”

“(Y/n)…” His voice trails off as he sees you, the broken version of you that he seemed to cause.

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it? She was Laurel’s favourite daughter, she was the more popular one at school, she’s Susannah’s favourite, she’s… she’s yours. And I was there to just… drive her home, cook her dinner, let her cry, buy her shit to make her feel better. I was just… there.”

He doesn’t speak, watching the way you seem to shrink into yourself at the words.

“I’m never going to be good enough, am I? For Laurel, for this family… for you?”

“(Y/n) please…”

“I’m sorry, I just… I need to…” You clear your throat, dragging a hand through your hair before you hurry inside.

———

You don’t get much sleep that night, instead running over a thousand options in your head before settling on the only one that makes any sense - that you need to go.

By five, you’ve packed up your things into a bag, checked over everything twice to make sure nothing was left behind, and grabbed your keys to head downstairs. The house is silent, and littered with the fancy aftermath of the party. You glance behind you once more and step outside, fleeing towards your car.

“(Y/n)!” Even the sound of your name rings through a trauma from the night before.

You turn around against the bright morning light to see Conrad jogging towards you.

“What are you doing?” He asks you, a frown on his face.

“I’m…” You clear your throat, “I’m just heading out.”

He looks down at the bag in your hand and his shoulders drop, “You’re leaving.”

You take a deep breath, “I… I have to Con.”

“(Y/n) please,” He reaches forward and takes one of your hands into his, “I need you to know, I- I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted that.”

You pull your hand from his grip and cup the side of his face, your thumb brushing his cheek, “Con, I know you didn’t. But, I can’t stay here like this. I can’t be here. Okay?”

He looks away from you momentarily and back up to your eyes, his seemingly losing their hope.

You brush away the strands of hair around his forehead, “I’ll see you around, Fisher.”

—— 2 Years Later ——

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Carmen asks you, perched on the edge of your bed, “I mean, seriously, how long has it been?”

“Two years,” You confirm, folding up another top to put into your bag, “And I think it’s a terrible idea, but I’ve got to bite the bullet eventually.”

“How do you think they’re going to react?” He persists, “Do you think they’ll be mad?”

“Um,” You take a deep breath, “Maybe. I think it’ll be a shock more than anything. I just, I want them to see me, you know? And, look, Jere never did anything wrong. He’s reached out to be a thousand times and I want to be there for him today - that’s all I care about.”

“And who can be mad at a little face like this?” Carmen looks down at the small bundle wrapped in his crib, peacefully asleep for now.

Your son had been born two months ago. You and Carmen had been dating through your first year of college before you fell pregnant. You’d split up only a few weeks before you found out you were expecting, but the two of you had managed to successfully co-parent so far. He came to all of your appointments, asked far too many questions, slept on the spare room in your dorm when he was worried about you, and had held your hand all through the delivery. Since then, you’d managed to both fit your schedules around taking care of your baby. He worked weekends and you worked evenings, he stayed in your dorm when he knew you needed to sleep and you both avoided a fair bit of socialising so that you could be there for your son. It worked. And, more than anything, you were the happiest you’d been.

“Alright little man, be good for Mommy okay?” Carmen lifts up your son, Kylo, from his bed, “I’ll see you soon.”

He sets the baby into his car seat and fixes the straps around his chest.

“I’ll help you get him in the car,” Carmen encourages, following behind you as the two of you leave the dorm and head down towards the parking lot.

He fixes the car seat into its slot in the car, checking it twice before he steps back.

“Alright, I’ll let you know if it’s a disaster and I’ll be driving back tonight,” You laugh a little, “And if you get an SOS text from me please put your foot down and get there as soon as you can.”

Carmen chuckles, squeezing your arm, “It’s going to be fine, okay? They love you and they miss you.”

You nod, “Let’s hope so.”

“Drive safe,” He steps back, letting you get into the drivers seat.

“Wish me luck,” You smile, waving goodbye as you reverse out of the parking spot.

It had been two years since you’d seen the Fishers, and even your own family. You’d left that day at the beach house and not returned. There were countless calls from your Mom, and Steven, and Susannah and Jere. But nothing from Conrad and Belly. You’d moved your things out of your home shortly after and moved into college as early as you could. It has been good for you.

The first big milestone was when you didn’t go home for thanksgiving. All of the family would be at Cousins and you told your Mom you couldn’t make it. The same again at Christmas. Eventually, a few months after, Laurel had stopped trying. She knew you needed your space, as much as she resented you for it. You’d kept in touch with Steven, and Jeremiah still spoke to you as much as he could. But none of them knew about Kylo. You weren’t ready for that yet. This was your son, you’d done it without them then and you could still do it without them. But he deserved to have them in his life. So, when Jeremiah had invited you to his graduation, you’d agreed.

It couldn’t be as bad as it was two years ago, right?

———

As soon as you arrive in Cousins, you stop at the hotel room that you’d booked for the two of you. Sure, you were okay with being here, but that didn’t mean you wanted to stay at the house.

You shoot Jeremiah a text to tell him you’re near and he tells you he’ll be waiting outside. You text Carmen to tell him you’re already considering turning back.

There was just something so strange about seeing these streets again, these houses, these places that held so many memories. And, as you near the water, the house that held more memories for you than anywhere in the world.

True to his word, as you pull up into the driveway, Jeremiah is waiting on the steps for you.

He hurries straight over to the car before you’ve even stepped out.

“Oh my god it’s so good to see you!” He grins, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“You too Jere, I’ve missed you,” You squeeze him in return, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Wh-“ His face drops a little when he catches sight of the seats in the back of your car, “Why do you have a-“

“Um, yeah,” You laugh a little, “I might’ve forgot to mention I was bringing a plus one.”

You open the side door to the back seats and unclamp the car seat from the chair, lifting it out.

“Jere, this is Kylo,” You let out a shaky breath, “My son.”

Jeremiah’s face drops, dumbfounded, “Oh m- I mean I- Congratulations! He looks exactly like you.”

You chuckle, “I’m sorry I didn’t mention him, I just didn’t know how to say it over a text.”

Jeremiah shakes his head, “Don’t apologise. Come on, nobody’s home, you can come inside.”

He takes your baby bag from you as you carry Kylo into the empty house, a flood of memories hitting you as you do. Nothing had changed here and yet everything had changed with you.

“Do you feel like you’re ready to see everyone?” Jeremiah asks, sitting down beside you on the couch.

“Not in the slightest,” You shake your head, “But I can’t wait any longer.”

“You’re right,” Jeremiah nods, “From what I’ve heard, they’re all just ready for you to come home.”

You smile, lifting Kylo out of his seat, “I’m ready for him to have a family too.”

Jeremiah wraps an arm around your shoulder and squeezes.

“Oh shit, I think that might be their-“ He stops himself, “Yeah, that’s them. Are you okay?”

You take a deep breath and shift your position on the couch, “I’m okay.”

You were far from it. You were sure your mind was racing a million miles a minute, and every muscle in your body was tense. You were sure Kylo could feel it too, whinging in your arms. Part of you wanted to run, but you’d done enough of that two years ago. Not anymore.

“Hey, Jere, who the hell is parked in the-“ It’s Steven’s voice first, “Oh my fucking god!”

He runs into the lounge and freezes instantly, his eyes widening, his mouth agape.

“Hey Steven,” You smile, standing up from the couch.

“You- uh- you…”

Your Mom, Belly and Susannah walk in shortly after, all of them stopping just as your brother had.

“(Y/n)…” Belly looks at you like you’re a piece she’s been missing, “It’s so good to see you.”

“Is this…” Laurel looks down at the boy in your arms.

“This is Kylo, my son,” You look up at her, “Your grandson.”

Her face both lifts and falls at the same time, unsure of what to say.

“Can I?” Laurel asks you, looking down at him, and back to you.

“Of course,” You hand him over, fixing his head into her arms.

Laurel gasps at the contact, smiling gently down at the boy as her eyes fill with tears.

“I’m-“ You clear your throat, no apologies, “I know it’s been a while. But a lot has changed, and I want you to be a part of his life. I want him to have his family.”

Belly steps forward and stretches her arms out to you, stepping once more to engulf you in her arms, her head burying on your shoulder.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” She whispers, sobbing a little into your neck as she tightens her grip.

You smile and hug her just as tightly back, “Me too. I’ve missed you.”

“Alright alright don’t leave me out,” Steven groans, squashing both of you in a hug of his own, towering taller than both of you now.

Belly pulls back and sniffs and you lift your hands to her cheeks, wiping her eyes.

“We’re okay, okay?” You nod at her, the same phrase you used to tell her when the two of you ever argued as kids.

Belly nods, squeezing your hands, “Okay.”

“Oh honey,” Laurel passes Kylo to Susannah who takes him with a bright smile, before your Mom turns to you, “I don’t even know what to say. I had no idea that you… I mean I didn’t even… I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

You shake your head, “It was me too. We both needed the space, right? We all did.”

She shakes her head too, “I’m just so sorry, I should’ve been there.”

You smile, “You’re here now.”

She steps forward and hugs you too, feeling so much smaller against you than she ever did before, perhaps you just feeling taller.

“You’re a Mom,” Her voice breaks against you, “I’m a Grandma.”

You chuckle and step back from her, “So much to catch you up on.”

Susannah hands Kylo over to Belly as he gets passed around to the waiting arms and she wraps you in a hug of your own, whispering something about how this family had missed you and it hadn’t been the same without you there.

But there was still one piece missing.

You sit down on the couch and Laurel and Susannah sit on either side of you. Belly, Jere and Steven all sit on the coffee table across from you as if they can’t possibly be too far away from you.

“I can’t believe you’re back in Cousins,” Belly smiles, “This is surreal.”

You chuckle, “Yeah, it’s weird. I just couldn’t miss watching Jere graduate.”

He grins, “I’m just glad you accepted the offer.”

Belly passes Kylo over to Steven who holds him as if he’s the most fragile object in the world.

You laugh a little at the sight, pulling out your phone and snapping a photo of the pair. You’d send it to Carmen later - a little sign of ‘hey, my family haven’t completely disowned me’.

“Okay, I have to ask the questions,” Laurel squeezes your arm, “How did this happen?”

“Well, Kylo was born about two months ago. I was dating a boy called Carmen in my first year of college, possibly the nicest guy ever but we realised we were better as friends. And a bit later I found out I was pregnant. He was there the whole time, don’t worry, and we’re surprisingly really good at co-parenting,” You explain, “I know it’s not conventional but, god, I think I was made to be a Mom.”

Steven laughs, “Yeah you got that from raising us three idiots,” He glances to Jere and Belly.

You grin. You’d never considered that when you were growing up. That mothering those three, losing so much of your childhood. It was setting you up for this. For mothering your own child, for bringing him up in your own way.

“He’s a pretty chill baby too,” You comment, “Like sleeps through the night, only wakes up once for a bottle. He even sits into some of my classes.”

“You’re still carrying on with college?” Laurel looks at you slightly shocked.

“Of course, I’ll just graduate with a toddler on my hip,” You beam down at your son in Steven’s arms, “I don’t need to lose my life because I’m taking care of him.”

Laurel looks at you with tears in her eyes before dropping her head to rest on your shoulder, like she’s trying to keep as close to you as she can. You don’t tense under her touch.

———

Later in the day, Jere, Belly and Steven have gone to the store for supplies and Susannah is setting up some bits for Jere’s graduation.

“Hey, do you need any help with anything?” You ask Laurel as she walks into the kitchen, “Kylo’s just had his bottle so I’m free if you need me to help.”

He’s strapped in a wrap to your chest napping against you.

“Oh god no you relax, we don’t need you to help,” Laurel encourages, “Sit down or something.”

“Come on Mom, I can help. What do you want me to do?”

She looks at you and sighs, “I think I spent 18 years asking you to do far too much, maybe I need to be making up for that.”

You clear your throat, “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“I know, I know it’s not,” She shakes her head, “I just… I don’t even feel like you’re my daughter anymore. You’re so grown up, it’s like… you’re too much of an adult to be mine.”

You nod, “Yeah, well, a lot changed.”

“I hate that things got to the point where you felt you had to leave. I mean, I know everything happened with Belly and Conrad but I was just as much to blame, wasn’t I?”

You run your hand over the wrap across your chest where Kylo lay, “I never got a chance to be a kid, Mom. Not properly. It felt like my whole life Id been running one step ahead of them all so that I could catch them before they fell, shaping my whole life around making sure that they were in line and okay and that I was doing enough for you and for them but also making sure my whole life was perfect so that you weren’t disappointed and… it was draining.”

Laurel looks at you with a pained expression, her shoulders dropping with the weight of realisation.

“I went to college to get away from every shitty feeling that all of that gave me. I got away to finally be my own person, for once in my life just think about me,” You smile, “And it was good for me. I healed. I went to a therapist, I cried, I figured out my shit. I’m a different person now but I’ll always be your daughter. And I want Kylo to have his grandma.”

“I want that too,” Laurel beams, “(Y/n) I… I know I never know how to say these things but I’m so proud of you, honestly.”

Before you can respond, the front door clicks open and your head whips around quickly, expectant of who could be walking through.

“He’s at work,” Laurel comforts you, “He’ll be back tonight.”

“I-“

“I’m still your Mom, I know these things.”

You laugh in response as the other three all come into the kitchen, carrying bags of groceries.

“Oooh here Kylo I got you a present,” Steven rummages through the bags to find what he was looking for and eventually pulls out a small brown teddy bear, “Just securing my spot as favourite uncle.”

You grin, taking the bear, “Thank you Uncle Steven.”

“Oooh, we’ve got the beer in the trunk,” Jeremiah reminds him.

“Shit, yeah, we’ll be right back!” Steven says and both of them hurry back out.

“Beer?” You raise your brows at Belly.

She laughs, looking down at the bags, “Yeah, Steven managed to get a fake.”

“Of course he did,” You shake your head, “Want some help unpacking?”

“No, no, I got it,” She encourages, “You’ve got your hands full.”

You wiggle both of your hands in front of her, “The perks of this thing is that both of my hands are free, Bels. Don’t tread on eggshells around me, honestly.”

“Okay, this one is light,” She pushes one bag towards you.

Both of you potter about in silence putting away their food and it’s as if neither of you wants to break the comfortable quiet. This was the most time you’d spent together in two years, and you felt like strangers to each other.

“So, how’s everything going with you?” You ask her, turning back to the kitchen island.

“I’m good,” She nods, “I’m not…” Belly clears her throat, “I’m not seeing anyone.”

You laugh, “Did you not know how to tell me?”

She smiles and hits your arm, “It’s awkward, okay?”

You chuckle at your sister, somehow catching such a glimpse of yourself in her expression.

“We actually… me and Conrad… we ended things not long after you left,” Belly clears her throat, “It was for the best.”

“Bels I didn’t…”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t because of you. I just think Conrad never really knew what he wanted, and maybe I didn’t either. I thought I was in love with that boy since I could remember, but I don’t think that was love. It was just the idea of him.”

You nod, “Well, younger Belly would probably thank you for figuring that out. But, tell me, is there anyone new on the scene?”

Before she can respond, the boys come tumbling in the front door again and you watch her eyes follow Jeremiah as he moves towards you both. There’s a brightness in them, one you’d only seen in your own when you were with Conrad. That was the feeling she was looking for.

“Jeremiah?!” You mouth to her and Belly widens her eyes at you in warning to not say anything more.

You raise your hands in surrender but give her a somewhat approving look, one that makes her cheeks ignite.

This was a pocket of home that you’d missed. One you didn’t realise you needed. Your siblings, this house, your family. It would always be important to you. And something about it felt even more magical now that you got to experience it with Kylo.

———

You find yourself focused on the sound of the door as if you can wish it to come sooner. Though you’re not sure why. You want to see him but you have no idea what to say to him. You have so much to tell him but you’re not even sure he’ll want to see you. Did he still hate you? Had he ever hated you? Would he hate you for not being here, for leaving?

You busy yourself with fixing the blanket in Kylo’s car seat. Jere and Steven had just gone to collect your stuff from the hotel - you’d agreed to stay at the house now.

And then it goes.

The sound of keys in the door, the door closing behind a familiar pair of feet. Rushed steps up the stairs, a left turn until they’re coming towards you.

And then your bedroom door opens, and a single figure stands in the doorway, slightly breathless.

“I saw your car on the drive.”

You stop in your tracks, the car seat behind your legs.

“I saw your car in the drive and I-“ Conrad begins again, “You’re home.”

You don’t have a chance to respond as he strides over and hugs you as if you’re a lifeline. His head buries into you and his arms around you as if he’s been needing you for years. His eyes are closed against you and you feel him inhale as if your presence had knocked every breath from his lungs.

And for a moment you’re frozen.

Until your arms kick into gear and they throw themselves around him too, holding him just as tight like you’re the only things holding each other up.

You feel him shift against you, that sort of shocked pause.

“(Y/n)…” His voice is quiet as he pulls away from you, “Is this…”

You step to the side to let him go past you as Conrad crouches down to the floor, his whole body cautious.

“This is Kylo.”

“Kylo,” Conrad grins, “You always said that’s the name you wanted for a boy. Do you remember? When we went to the boardwalk and there was that name on the-“

“The leaderboard for the go karts,” You grin, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I can’t believe you did too, you stuck to your word,” He smiles, talking softly as if he doesn’t want to disturb the tiny bundle looking up at him.

Conrad’s fingers are at either side of the car seat and Kylo reaches up to grip onto his thumb. Con laughs like a sort of gasp, as if it is choked in his throat.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” He half-whispers the words and you’re not sure at first if it’s to you or to the boy in front of him.

But you settle on it being both.

Conrad looks back at you and breaks into an even wider grin, standing back up, “Can you just… tell me everything.”

He sits himself down on your bed and you sit down beside him. And this is it. This the final bit of home you were waiting on.

You and Conrad. Him and you. The piece you’d been waiting for.

———

The following morning, you’re up early with Kylo. You carry him downstairs and go about fixing up a bottle for him, the two of you resting on the couch whilst he drinks.

There’s a text from Carmen on your phone.

Hope they don’t hate you too much x

You shoot back a quick response of reassurance and send him a photo of Kylo smiling at you from last night.

Just as Kylo finishes his bottle, there’s a sound from the stairs creaking as someone comes down.

“Morning,” It’s Conrad, dragging a hand over his eyes as he does.

“Hey,” You return softly, “Why are you up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” He grumbles, still in a half asleep state.

He drops down onto the couch next to you and smiles at Kylo, reaching out a finger to tickle his chest.

“Hey, could you do me a favor?” You ask him, “I need to change his diaper but the bag’s upstairs.”

“Yeah sure, what’s it look like?”

“It’s a black one, not the one with the handle but with the straps, and it’s like-“ You pause as you notice him watching you more and more confused, blinking at your explanation, “Okay, I’ll get the bag. Can you just watch him for a second?”

“That’s much easier,” Conrad grins and shifts on the couch so that he can hold the baby in his arms.

You stand up and head towards the door, hurrying upstairs to find the bag.

When you come back down, Conrad has Kylo stretched across his legs, his little feet hitting Conrad’s stomach and his head resting against his knees. He’s smiling down at him and Kylo grins tiredly up, giggling when Conrad tickles under his arms.

“You’re a natural,” You grin, coming down to sit beside him.

He looks up at you and raises his brows, “You think?”

“Well, he seems to like you,” You point out, not wanting to disturb the moment between them.

Conrad wiggles his hands beneath Kylo’s head and lifts him up, looking at you, “Where do you want me to put him?”

You snap back into reality, “Oh, right, yeah I’ve got a mat.”

He lowers the baby down onto it and then looks at you like he’s awaiting further instruction, “Come on, tell me what to do.”

“You want to change his diaper?” You laugh, “I can do it.”

“I’ve never done one before. I want to learn.”

“Alright, here,” You hand him over the wipes and a fresh diaper.

He’s far too slow when he starts and Kylo starts to wriggle on the mat, impatient of course.

“Does this thing not stay still?” Conrad grumbles, tongue between his lips as he concentrates on the task, his face grimacing just a little at the state of the dirty diaper.

“Put that one in here,” You hold out a diaper bag for him to dispose of it, “Alright, now wipe and new diaper. But make sure he’s covered - he’s a boy so that stuff can go everywhere.”

Conrad’s eyes widen as he takes your instruction, fixing the new diaper on - just a little wonky.

“There we go, fresh as a daisy,” He grins proudly at his accomplishment, “I think I could be pretty good at this.”

“Well that’s task two - making him laugh being task one,” You nod, “Not bad, Fisher.”

He lifts him back up onto the couch and lays him down beside you, Conrad sitting on the floor just in front of him like he’s already prepared to catch him.

He lets Kylo grab at the end of his hoodie, laughing at him before he turns to you.

“So, how does it all work? Are you… with someone?”

You shake your head, “We split up before I found out I was pregnant. But we’re really good friends, so it works. He helps out a lot.”

Conrad nods, “Well that sounds healthy.”

“What can I say? I’m mature now,” You joke.

“I think you always were,” He scoffs, “Especially compared to the rest of us.”

Both of you fall silent again and Kylo fills the space by gargling in some form of baby talk.

“What about you?” You clear your throat, drawing your legs to your chest on the couch, “Are you seeing anyone Mr Stanford?”

He scoffs, looking down at his hands, “No, no, I think I needed to stay away from all that for a little while. Clear my head.”

“And did you find anything in that clarity?” You taunt, yearning for the same connection the two of you had so long ago.

He looks at you for a second and pauses, “I guess I finally figured out what I want.”

For a brief moment you’re drawn to him, something in those eyes and that voice. But you tear yourself away.

“Well I’m glad the break was worth it,” You smile, looking away from him, “Sometimes that’s all that you need.”

You look down at your son and feel the same swell of pride you had when they first handed him to you in the delivery room. The same realisation that this was it now - this was everything.

“You know this place changed when you left,” Conrad comments, “And it’s changed again now you’re back.”

“Yeah, well, I always had that effect,” You wiggle your brows jokingly, lifting Kylo up from the couch to rest him on your lap.

Conrad pushes himself up to sit on the couch beside you and both of you fall silent in the seemingly empty house. He watches you with Kylo and is sure for a second that he’s looking at someone else. But it’s you. The one that was always made for this.

“I’m sorry if I-“

“I’m sorry if I-“

You both speak at the same time and look at each other with hints of smiles.

“You first,” Conrad encourages.

You take a deep breath, “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t be with Belly. She told me you guys ended things not long after and I just hate thinking that I was… I don’t know, that I ruined things,” You shake your head, “I know it was forever ago.”

“You didnt ruin anything. Me and Belly… we… I think I always knew that she liked me. And I just, I hated the thought of breaking her heart. Like it would be my fault if I didn’t feel the same. And that night, I don’t know what it was, I just convinced myself that I could feel the same as she did,” He takes a deep breath too, like both of you are fighting for air against tightened chests, “But we’re must better as friends, we both know that. And I’d never… I never did… feel that way about her. I was just confused.”

You nod, “Now you go.”

“I’n sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough,” Conrad exhales, “Because I know that’s how you felt, and I never ever wanted you to think like that.”

“Con…”

“Im serious (Y/n),” He shifts in his seat so that he’s facing you properly, “I was younger and naive and I knew that I liked you and I just… suppressed it. Because I knew if I started anything with you then I’d want that to be it, and I wasn’t ready for you to break my heart.”

You laugh a little, your eyes pricking just slightly with tears, “You think I’m a heartbreaker, Fisher?”

Conrad smiles, his cheeks flushed a little, his muscles visibly relaxed from what they were. He’d missed this. You, the way you knew him, the way you read him. He’d missed it all.

———

“We’ll watch him, you can go and shower,” Belly assures you, “And I’ll make sure Steven doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You’d spent the day in and around the pool with Belly, Steven and Jeremiah whilst Conrad had gone to work. They’d bought a float for Kylo at the store and were all impatient to use it - taking a thousand photos of him with his hat on laying back in the float.

“Alright, well just shout me if there’s anything,” You encourage, “I’ll just use-“

“(Y/n),” Steven says in a calm tone, “Relax, we’ve got him, I promise.”

You nod and step off of the lounger you’d been on, walking around the side of the house to where the outdoor shower still stood.

This place. It held memories you’d wanted to forget.

Before you step in, your phone starts ringing and you glance down to see Carmen’s contact on your screen, you accept the call and press the speaker button on your phone.

“Hey (y/l/n), how’s it going?” He says as soon as you pick up.

“It’s going well, yeah,” You turn back around to the garden where Belly was holding Kylo in her arms, “They’re all so excited to meet him.”

“Do they know about his super cool, super helpful, super present Dad yet?” Carmen taunts.

“They do,” You chuckle into the microphone, “They’re glad I haven’t been doing it on my own.”

“Yeah, well, they would’ve known that if they tried-“

“Carmen,” You sigh, “Less hating them, yeah? It’s going well.”

“Okay, you’re right, but I’m still not their biggest fans,” He comments, “What about the long lost love of your life?”

“Oh my god will you stop?” You widen your eyes at his words.

“Come on, I know that’s who you were most nervous to see,” He returns, “How’s it been? Do you still… you know, feel that way about him?”

“I-“ You glance down at the exact spot you’d been stood in two years ago, when you’d told Conrad the truth, “It’s Conrad, you know? He makes me laugh and he listens to me and he feels like… it feels like the piece of me that I’ve been missing.”

Carmen laughs, “And I’m guessing you haven’t told him that.”

“I already ruined things with that boy once, I can’t do it again.”

“Ruin things? (Y/l/n) I think you’d be telling him what he’s been waiting to hear for two years.”

Before you can say anything, the sound of a twig snapping behind you makes you jump from your thoughts and you turn around to see Conrad stood just metres from you.

“Um, Carmen, I have to go,” You stumble over your words into the microphone, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wear protection!” He yells down the phone before you hang up, your cheeks flushing bright red as you look back at Conrad.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-“ Conrad mumbles, scratching at the back of his neck, “I just got back from work.”

“Right, yeah, of course, how- how was it?”

“Good,” Conrad nods, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “I didn’t mean to listen in, or anything. I just… I don’t even normally walk this way, I don’t know why I did but I thought I could hear people and so I thought maybe you were outside, not that I was looking for you, but well I was-“

“Con,” You interrupt, “It’s okay.”

He smiles, taking a second to breathe, “That was Carmen?”

You look down at your phone in your hand, “Yeah, just calling to check how I’m getting on. It’s the first time he’s been away from Kylo too.”

Conrad nods in understanding, “Yeah, of course, I bet that’s weird for him.”

“Yeah I don’t think I could ever leave Ky now, it’s a parent thing, I guess,” You scratch at a patch on your arm as the nerves seem to overtake you, “I should probably… you know, I need to shower before tonight and I-“

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you get on,” Conrad raises his hands and goes to step past you as you step into the booth of the shower.

You don’t make any move after that, thinking of every single thing you could’ve just said to him. How two years ago every word came to you all at once and, now, you can’t find a single right word to say. You feel your bottom lip tremble just slightly at the thought of everything you could’ve just told him but you shake it off.

“Hey, (Y/n),” Conrad’s voice speaks from the exact spot you’d just left him in, “What did he want you to tell me?”

You feel every bone in your body freeze at those words, practically sending a shiver down your spine. Your hands go numb, your eyes glazing over, your throat seemingly closing off any words.

As you turn around back to the entrance of the shower, there he is. Stood on the path with a look of hope in his eyes that you thought you’d never see again from Conrad.

“What did he want you to say?” He persists, eyes burning into you.

You exhale deeply, the tension in your shoulders dropping as if you’ve lost hope, “That I never should’ve walked away from you that night. And I hate myself every day for not fighting for you more, for not standing there and telling you that I’d wait for you. I’d wait for you in every life if that’s what it took for you to realise that you loved me. And I know I shouldn’t and I know it’s different now because I have a son and that’s complicated and you don’t have to want that or feel like you have to-“

He strides forward then, his hands coming up to cup either side of your face, his lips crashing into yours as if they’re returning home for the first time in forever. It’s messy and rushed and heated but neither of you care, both relaxing into a feeling you never thought you’d feel. Your hands grip at the material of his t-shirt like you’re convincing yourself that he’s real. And he is. It’s all real.

Your lips pull away first, rushing to catch every ounce of breath that had just been knocked from your lungs.

“I’d wait for you, (y/n). In this life, the next and the next after that, I’d wait for you too,” Conrad confirms, his eyes searching in both of yours, “This is it, okay? This is what I want, it’s what I’ve always wanted.”

You let out a laugh, somewhere verging on a sob as every emotion of every missed day seems to come out of you, “We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”

Conrad smiles, his hand moving to your chin to pull you into his lips once more.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” He mumbles just millimetres from your lips.

“I think I have some idea,” You return with a smile, kissing him quickly.

This was it. In this life, the next one and the one after that - this was where you could be truly happy.

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Deleted scene from 'Rules For (fake) Dating an Italian' to keep you busy while AO3 is down:

(Sydney & Carmy babysit for Richie, set in between chapters four & five — I wrote it & then decided to scrap it, I don't even know why lol it just wasn't working. & I didn't edit it, so it might have mistakes. But anyway, you guys can have it as a treat.)

Richie runs out the front door, pulling his jacket on. 

“Carmen,” he says, walking up to Carmy and, much to Sydney’s surprise, taking Carmy’s face in both hands and pressing a firm kiss to the top of Carmy’s head. “Thank you so much. I owe you, brother.”

“It’s fine,” Carmy mutters. 

“Sydney,” Richie says, pulling away from Carmy to look at her. 

“I don’t need a kiss,” Sydney says quickly, “just a verbal thank you is more than enough.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Richie says. “Carmy explained the situation, right?”

“I told her what you told me,” Carmy says. 

“Because I never miss a weekend with her,” Richie says, “I mean, I have literally never missed a single minute of a weekend with her before, but if I don’t go to the DMV today, it’s like six months till I can get another appointment, and I really need to get my license renewed.”

“It’s fine,” Sydney says, not dwelling too much on the thought of how much Richie has been driving her around with an expired license so far. “We’re happy to look after her.”

“I’ll be back in two hours,” Richie says. “She has her iPod, and all her Barbies. There are Uncrustables in the fridge, or you can cook with whatever’s in there, and she likes watching Unicorn Academy, she can put it on herself.”

“We’ll be fine, cousin. Don’t be late to your appointment,” Carmy says, with a somber expression that looks less like someone taking on babysitting duties, and more like a soldier awaiting command.

Carmy called Syd that morning, saying Richie was freaking out about needing a babysitter. Granted, Carmy was also freaking out about being a babysitter. 

"Nat’s busy, Tina’s busy, everyone’s fucking busy, can you please come with me? I’m not good with kids."

Sydney isn’t particularly good with kids either, but she didn’t tell him that.

She would’ve taken any excuse to see Carmy. Because she’s a masochist. And because the fact that he asked her to come not because it would help trick Richie, but because he wanted her help, made her feel kind of hot in the face. 

When he picked her up, she slid into his passenger’s seat with an almost-practiced ease, and he just sat there looking at her for a minute. 

“Your hair,” he said. 

“Oh,” she said, touching the end of one freshly-done braid, “yeah, microbraids, like I told you.”

“They look nice,” he said, and she blushed, despite the stiffness of the complement. 

He always seems to rehearse his words to her in his head before he says them; they come out practiced and overly formal, and it frustrates her, how measured they seem, though it shouldn’t. 

She’s pretty sure that’s just Carmy’s way. He’s careful with everything, not just compliments. She’s learning that about him. 

She’s been learning other things about him, too. 

Like the fact that he seems to go quiet in crowds, and gravitate toward walls. He flinches if anybody moves toward him too suddenly. Sometimes, not often, but enough to notice, he stutters when he speaks. 

She wants to know everything about him. She wishes his life story was a book she could read, so she could just catch up to where he is now, and understand everything about him. She wants to know the right things to say, to do, how to put him at ease. She wants to know what he’s thinking when he looks at her. 

Now, she watches Carmy walk into Richie’s house, stooping to pet Zanzibar as the puppy runs excitedly up to them, letting out high-pitched barks and tapping his little claws against the tiles of Richie’s entrance foyer. 

In the doorframe of the kitchen across from them, a tiny girl with blonde hair and Richie’s facial features peeks out at them. 

“Hi,” Sydney says, giving her a little wave. 

“Uncle Carmy?” the girl asks. 

Carmy looks up at her, unmistakable anxiety crossing his face. 

“Uh, hi,” he says. “Richie’ll be back soon, don’t worry.”

“She doesn’t call her dad Richie, does she?” Sydney whispers. 

“She knows who I mean,” Carmy whispers back. 

Eva looks between the two of them.

“Dad said you would make me lunch,” she says. 

Sydney smiles. “We will,” she says, looking at Carmy expectantly. 

He nods seriously, walking ahead into the kitchen and beginning to look through Richie’s cabinets. Sydney follows Eva into the room, watching the little girl take a seat at one of the kitchen chairs, pulling her knees up into her chest and looking at  Sydney with huge eyes she hasn’t totally grown into yet. 

“Are you Uncle Carmy’s girlfriend?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Sydney says, glancing over at Carm. 

He’s holding a box of Mac & Cheese, and holds it up for Eva to see, raising an eyebrow. 

“This good?” he asks. 

“That’s good,” Eva says, crossing her arms and deepening her voice slightly to mock Carmy as she says it. He cracks a smile, filling a pot with water and setting it on the stove. 

Michelin starred chef cooking boxed Mac & Cheese in a tee shirt three feet away from Sydney. Her life is a joke. 

“Why are you his girlfriend?” Eva asks. 

Sydney laughs softly, considering this. 

“Well, uh,” she says, with a little shake of her head. Carmy has his back to her, facing the stove, but he’s standing still, like he’s listening. “He’s great at cooking,” Sydney says. “And I really like spending time with him. He’s good company.”

“My dad said Carmy’s never looked this happy before,” Eva says. 

Carmy clears his throat. “I am happy,” he says, though there’s an ironic flatness to it. 

“Because of her?” Eva asks. 

Sydney bites the inside of her cheek. 

But Carmy turns around and looks at Sydney, brow furrowing slightly, eyes soft. 

“Yeah. Because of her,” he says. 

He says it like it’s true. 

Michelin star mac and cheese is about as good as it sounds. Carmy is leaning against Richie’s counter, watching Sydney and Eva eat. Eva’s iPod is set on the table in front of her, playing some Taylor Swift deepcut that Sydney doesn’t recognize. As Sydney swallows her third or fourth spoonful of food, she stands up, turning to Carmy. The heat of the stove has put a slight flush in the tops of his cheeks, and there’s a towel slung over one of his shoulders. 

“You’re not eating?” she asks him. 

The question seems to take him off guard. His eyes flicker to the pot of food, then back to her. 

“No, I made it for you two,” he says.

“There’s plenty, Carm,” Sydney says, grabbing a bowl from Richie’s cabinet and filling it for him from the pot still warming on the stove. When she hands it to him, he just looks at it for a second, before taking a small spoonful and putting it in his mouth, chewing like it’s his first time eating a meal. 

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Sydney asks him, picking her own bowl back up. 

“It’s alright,” he says, taking another, bigger spoonful. He does that sometimes; it’s one of the things she’s noticed. He eats like he’s starving, or he doesn’t eat at all. It gives her this weird urge to take care of him. To text him in the mornings, and at night, and ask him if he ate that day. To show up at his apartment unannounced with bags of groceries and make him sit down for twenty minutes while she meal preps for him. 

“It’s good, Carm, it’s better than alright,” she says again, tone light, even though she’s willing him to believe her as hard as she can. Trying to get him to take a compliment is like trying to throw a ball through a brick wall. 

He averts his eyes, nodding again. “A little flat, but I guess that’s what you get with boxed mix,” he says, pushing the noodles around with his spoon. 

“Ever make it from scratch?” Sydney asks. “Or is that too pedestrian for a fancy New York Chef?”

“I'm gonna pretend I know what pedestrian means in that context,” he says, meeting her eyes with an amused smile. “I made it from scratch one Thanksgiving, years ago. Had no idea what I was doing. My mother passed out at like 3:00pm, and we were all scrambling in the kitchen trying to get dinner together for her so she’d, you know, see it and be happy with us when she woke up. But Sugar burned the turkey, so Mikey had to spend hours trying to calm her down; she got these crazy panic attacks when she made mistakes. And I made mac and cheese.”

“How old were you?” Sydney asks. 

He seems surprised at the question, and shrugs. “Twelve, I think? Mikey would’ve been seventeen, Sugar would’ve just turned fourteen.”

“You’re the youngest?” 

He nods. 

“That figures,” Sydney says. 

He scoffs. “Why does that figure?”

“I don’t know, just does.”

His bowl is almost empty. Wordlessly, she takes it from his hands, refilling it. 

“So, did your mom like the mac and cheese?” she asks. 

Something in his face darkens. He gives a quick shake of his head. 

“No, she couldn’t get past Nat burning the turkey. We just, uh, took all the food into Mikey’s room and watched The Peanuts until she stopped yelling and fell asleep.”

“Uncle Carmy,” Eva interrupts, getting up from her chair and walking over to where Carmy is standing, looking up at him expectantly.“Daddy said you would play Barbies with me.”

“I will play Barbies with you,” Carmy says, and then, looking over at Sydney: “Syd, would you like to play Barbies?”

There’s a fond, almost relieved smile on his face, like another minute of talking about his family might’ve pushed him off some cliff’s edge that he wasn’t prepared to crawl back over. 

“Obviously I want to play Barbies,” Sydney says, letting Eva lead them into the other room. 

"You're such a liar," Sydney murmurs, as they walk behind Eva.

"I am?" Carmy asks lightly.

"Yeah," Sydney says, "you told me you weren't good with kids."

He smiles, shaking his head ruefully.

"I'm not," he says.

Sydney rolls her eyes.

And they play Barbies, for an hour. Carmy kneeling on carpet, listening attentively as Eva explains which Barbie is which (she has a Taylor Swift box set, it seems, and a Barbie dream home that looks like it cost more than Sydney’s last paycheck). Sydney sits cross legged across from them, watching Carmy delicately hold a Barbie doll in one tattooed hand as Eva brushes out its hair. 

Watching him be a good uncle shouldn't be as fucking attractive as it is. It shouldn't be conjuring up vivid images of Carmy holding sleeping babies and cooking family dinners.

God, Sydney is so fucked.

“Speak Now Taylor Barbie is marrying Jacob from Twilight Barbie,” Eva says. “‘Cept I forgot Jacob at Mommy’s house.”

“I see,” Carmy says. Sydney bites back a smile. 

“Are you ever gonna get married?” Eva asks, looking up at Carmy. 

Sydney’s smile quickly fades. 

Carmy’s eyebrows shoot up. 

“Me?” he says. 

“You and Sydney,” Eva says, looking over at Sydney expectantly. 

“Uh, maybe,” Carmy says. He’s looking at Sydney too; an expression she can’t read. “I don’t know. Depends on… lots of things.”

“Like what?” Eva asks. 

Carmy clears his throat. “Like… whether Sydney puts up with me for long enough for me to ask her?”

“Oh, shut up,” Sydney says, smiling exasperatedly, shaking her head at him. “He’s kidding, Eva.”

“So you are getting married?”

“No,” Sydney says, “no, not right now.”

“When?”

She looks at them with expectant, innocent eyes. Sydney can’t help but laugh.  

“Not for a long time,” Carmy says. 

"How long?"

Carmy looks away from Sydney, shaking his head like he doesn't know how to answer.

"I don't know," Sydney says, drawing Eva's attention over to her. "Whenever we decide we want to."

"Don't you want to marry him now?" Eva asks sincerely.

Sydney laughs uncomfortably. When she looks over at Carmy, he's looked back up at her. His brow is furrowed slightly. He should be smiling and laughing. This is funny. Objectively. He's taking it way too seriously.

"Yeah," Sydney says, staring at Carmy, raising a taunting eyebrow at him. "Sure I do. But marriage is really complicated so I think we're probably going to wait and see. Right, Carm?"

"Right," Carmy says, with a stiffness to the word like he's in pain. "Yeah, let's not talk about getting married anymore."

Eva frowns.

"It makes him nervous," Sydney stage-whispers to her.

Eva cheers up at that, smiling and nodding knowingly.

"People get nervous when they love each other," Eva says. "Mommy told me."

Sydney scoffs softly, but when she looks at Carmy he isn't smiling. He's just staring back at her, doing that weird, hyper-focused thing where he gets, like, fixated on her face.

It makes her face feel hot.

It makes her nervous.

Fuck.

[forever-rogue]

Good evening I see ur wanting Rockstar Eddie requests 👀 what ab some humorous, sexy tension between him and his stage manager who's sick of him messing around and it comes to a head at one point. How it ends is up to you ;3

AN | I’ve decided that I love every version of rockstar!eddie. 18+ only 🥰

Warnings | Language, Smut [unprotected piv]

Pairing | Rockstar!Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 4k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Are you serious, Edward?" You walked into his luxury apartment and saw that it was almost completely dark. You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance, "Edward!"

"'m right here," you heard his slow, rough drawl coming from his bedroom, "no need to yell, babe."

You set your bag on the counter and practically stomped your way over to him, almost bursting into his room in anger, "I'm not your babe."

"But you sure are one," he grinned at you from under his wild mop of curls. He was still lying in bed, shirtless and only wearing a pair of boxers. You tried not to stare at his body, but found it a difficult challenge, "now relax and c'mere!"

"Absolutely not," you went over to the window and pulled the curtains wide open, letting in the bright sunlight. He groaned and burrowed his face into his pillow, "its noon, why are you still in bed?"

"Tired," he waved his hand dismissively, "long night."

"Drunk or high?"

"Why not both?"

"Eddie," his name fell softly from your lips as you sat at the edge of the bed.  He pushed his curls to the side and peeked at you with one eye, "I…listen, I don't know how to say this any other way but…"

"But what, sugar?" He'd always had a penchant for nicknames but especially nicknames for you. It still made your bones tingle, despite the fact that you'd known him for almost five years now.

"If you keep this up, I can't work for you or Corroded Coffin any longer," now that garnered his attention. He sat up, his lips in a pout as you picked at a loose thread on his comforter, "I can't be your manager if I have to keep babysitting you, Eddie. Taking care of you is like watching a child and honestly I'm tired of it. Tired of seeing you run yourself into the ground with all the alcohol and the drugs and…everything. You need to get your act together. I know you're a rockstar and whatever, but you can do it smartly too."

"Babe-"

"I'm not trying to change who you are," you swallowed thickly, "but I know you can do better. I'm tired of making excuses to cover for you, having to practically drag you out of bed, rescheduling meetings because you didn't want to show up, and doing damage control all the time. That is not what I signed up for."

Eddie suddenly felt stone cold sober as he studied you. He could see the look of pure disappointment on your face as you clearly tried not to cry. He hated seeing you cry; the realization that he was the one causing you the pain was a harsh reality check. He reached out for your hand but stopped himself, "what are you saying?"

"I'm saying…get yourself in check or I'm quitting," you slid off the bed and gave him a serious look. The man in question paled, "I'm serious, Eddie. If things don't change, you can look for a new manager."

"What about the rest of the guys-"

"They already know how I feel," you threw your head back and exhaled slowly, "they're not the problem. And honestly, Eddie, they're getting a little fed up too."

"Oh."

You stood up, hands on your hips as you bit your lip. Eddie looked nothing short of desperation.

"So…there it is. Prove to me you can make some changes or say goodbye," you walked towards the door but paused for a moment before turning back to him, "I'll see you at soundcheck tonight then. Six o'clock and don't be late."

You didn't wait for him to say anything before walking away. As you opened all the curtains on your way out and grabbed your stuff, you could hear him murmuring to himself. 

"Don't let me lose you," you whispered softly before shutting the door behind you and listening to the lock click.

"Fuck," Eddie rubbed at his throbbing temples before lying back down against the pillows. If you, one of the few people that had stuck around and been his rock, was at your wit's end, he knew something was wrong. He couldn't lose - he couldn't imagine a life without you in. Something had to give, "fuck."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You glanced at your watch, nervously pacing around as you waited for Eddie to show up. The rest of the band was already set up and waiting to practice. Gareth caught your eye and the two of you exchanged a worried glance. Was he going to show up?

A quarter after the hour you gave up on waiting, "go on and start…I guess we'll have to have this session without a singer and guitarist."

"You could step in," Jeff shot you a sweet smile as you shook your head. You played guitar, one of the many things that drew Eddie to you in the first place, but wouldn't call yourself an expert by any means.

"Maybe some other time," you promised, "I don't know how helpful I'd be tonight."

"You're-"

"I'm here!"

You all whipped around to find Eddie running in, guitar in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. He stopped in front of you and held out the flowers, trying to catch his breath, "Eddie?"

"Here," he panted through a grin, "I'm here. These are for you."

"O-oh," your eyes widened as he handed you the bouquet, which you shyly took. Your cheeks warmed up at the gesture, but you tried to remind yourself that one sweet gesture didn't make up for the last couple of years, "thank you. What's the occasion?"

"There wasn't one," he caught your eye and you saw that his eyes were clear and bright, which you hoped was a good sign. He turned to the rest of the band, "come on then, no time to waste."

After listening to them practice for a while, you decided to excuse yourself. They would be okay without you; you offered them a small wave before heading out. 

When you made it home, you put your flowers in a small vade and set them on the dining room table. Upon inspection, you realized that they were all your favorites. Of course Eddie remembered. He was a good, kind man underneath it all and always had been…lately he'd just been a little off track.

A knock at the front door startled you and you hesitantly walked to the door, looking through the peephole.

To your surprise, your favorite rockstar was on your front doorstep. He looked so beautifully out of place in your quiet little suburb. He always wondered why you preferred to live on the outskirts of the city rather than in the thick of it, but the beautiful quiet nights like this helped him see the appeal.

You opened the door and his face broke into a huge grin. He looked you up and down, "you look cute."

"I…" you looked down and realized you were in a ratty pair of pajamas - little shorts with a well-worn and oversized Corroded Coffin shirt. You rolled your eyes playfully before shaking your head, "what's up, Eddie? Do you…wanna come in?"

"You sure?" He raised an eyebrow, leaving the choice with you. But you didn't hesitate to nod as you stepped to the side.

He followed you into the living room and made himself comfortable on the oversized, comfy chair opposite the couch. A wave of nerves washed over you for a moment. Why were you suddenly feeling this way? He'd been in your house on many occasions and you'd spent so many thousands of hours in each other's company. He shouldn't make you nervous anymore.

But deep down you knew why.

"Everything alright?" You asked softly as he took a moment to exhale before nodding.

"I just wanted to apologize," he seemed to find everything interesting except for your face, "not just for today but for…fuck, the last couple of years. You're the last person I want to hate me. And I wouldn't blame you if you still did."

"I don't hate you," you promised, voice sweet and saccharine, "I could never hate you. Even if you've been a dick. You're still my favorite person underneath it all. Rockstar or not."

"I'm working on it," he was trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach at the words favorite person. You were his too, and had been since the day he met you, "I think the last couple of years have been hard. It feels like so much has changed."

"That's a part of life, babe. The rest of the guys getting married and having kids isn't a bad thing and doesn't change the band or who they are," you knew that had been a bit of contention for some time now, even if he hadn't wanted to admit, "you're still one of the most famous rockstars in the world. But it's still okay to change. You're Eddie fucking Munson, come on! You don't need to party, drink, do drugs or sleep around to stay relevant or young or anything."

"Yeah, I guess I've always known that," he scratched at the back of his head nervously, "it was just hard to accept the idea I guess."

"I hate to break it to you, but you're not exactly a fresh-faced and young musician. You've been at this for like fifteen years now…things were going to change eventually. And that's okay," you'd scooted closer to him, "its all okay and it's going to be okay. You've got us, you're not alone."

"You…" he trailed off softly, "how have you stuck around me for so long?"

"Eddie," your heart felt like it was about to help out of your chest. You definitely weren't about to spill your deepest secrets to him. He might have been your friend but he was also your client, "I…"

"Hmm?" He was absolutely pushing your buttons, trying to encourage you to let it all out. You were almost positive that he knew how you felt about him…you doubted you were that subtle.

"You know why," you grabbed one of the pillows and tossed it at him. It hit him square in the face but made him laugh nonetheless, "I'm not saying it, you dick!"

"Say it," he slid off the armchair and sat next to you, "please?"

"Fuck, Eddie, I-" instead of saying another word or letting him get a word in edgewise, you took his face in your hands and crashed your lips onto his. Your actions caught him so off guard that it took him a moment to react; for a moment you’d worried that you’d overstepped. 

But he quickly returned your kiss, large hands - rough and calloused but still so gentle - found your hips as he pulled you onto his lap. He practically groaned as you settled onto him, looping your arms around his neck as you refused to break the kiss. Eddie would never admit how long he’d dreamed of his moment, about how many songs he’d written about you. He knew that he didn’t really have to tell you - you already knew. 

You felt his hands snake up your shirt, fingertips ghosting over your soft, supple skin. Your skin was practically on fire and you wanted more, more, more. You could feel how hard he already was under you, how his lips tried to taste every inch of your skin. And god knows you wanted him and needed him so badly, craved him, but you couldn’t do it. 

Not now. 

“Eddie,” you put your hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. He stopped immediately and looked at you in concern, worried that he’d overstepped and made you uncomfortable. 

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” you whispered, touching his face and brushing your thumb over his cheek, “really. I-I want this…fuck, I’ve wanted this, you, for so long…”

“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?” he laughed softly before resting his forehead on your shoulder. You loved the way his soft curls tickled your cheek, “baby - baby.”

“Not tonight,” you rubbed his back gently before lightly scratching at his scalp, “I don’t want to just rush into this and have it turn into…a one-time thing.”

“It would never be that-”

“Yeah?” you bit the inside of your cheek as he nodded, “good. But…I still. Eddie, prove to me that you’re willing to step up and make some changes. One good day isn’t going to change everything after so long.”

“I will,” it wasn’t even a question in his mind. If his choices were to keep going as he had been or to keep you, it wasn’t even a choice. The corner of your mouth quirked up into a smile and Eddie couldn’t help but kiss, “I mean it.”

“We’ll see,” there was a teasing lilt to your voice that made you both laugh, “until then…I think it’s time for you to go home, rockstar.”

“They’re going to have a field day with this you know,” you raised an eyebrow in confusion, “when you actually let me take you on a date. Tabloids have spectuling for years.”

“How very scandalous indeed,” you snorted in amusement, as you got off his lap. You could see how hard on and cringed slightly when you realized how uncomfortable it must have been…oops. You reached for his hand and pulled towards the door, “you assume I’ll agree to a date?”

“Yes,” so confident and sure, “I’ve asked before…you never said yes though.”

“It wasn’t the right time.”

“Now is?”

“Maybe,” you opened the door and he stepped onto the porch, surrounded by the cool evening air and chirping crickets, “I’m gonna make you work for it, Edward. Not just for me, but for yourself. I want you…to be the best you for you.”

“I know,” he smiled and looked up at you from his lashes, “but you’re it too. Waiting for you.”

Well he definitely knew how to make you swoon. Then again, he’d been doing so for years now, even if he hadn’t realized it.

“Good night, Eddie,” you leaned against the door and sighed softly.

“Good night, sweetheart,” he took a step backwards and offered you a crooked smile in parting along with a little wave. 

You returned it before closing the door and leaning back against it. 

Well. This night had gone very differently than you had anticipated. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Over the next couple of months, to your surprise and delight, Eddie really did make some positive changes. The thing was that you didn’t want to change him, that was never the question. He was still the boy you’d started crushing on almost a decade ago. It was kicking the unhealthy habits that were no good for him that you wanted.

You asked him to prove it to you, that he was serious about slowing down on the partying and the hard lifestyle and recommitting to Corroded Coffin. 

And prove it, he did. He also hadn’t asked you out again, or tried to even kiss you. He was going to let you make the decision of when - and if - you were going to broach the subject again. 

One night, everything seemed to come together perfectly. The band had played a sold out and successful show in New York City, which was a win in and of itself. Then he did the unexpected and performed a new song, one you hadn’t even heard, and dedicated it to you. 

That was enough to make you feel everything all at once. That was when you knew. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Munson!” you caught him as you walked backstage after the show. He turned around at the sound of your voice and his pretty face broke into a huge grin. You ran over to him, practically jumping into his arms and knocking him over. He caught you, the two of you giggling at each other like mad, “you’re an asshole!”

“How am I an asshole?!”

“Because you weren’t supposed to make me cry,” you brushed some sweaty curls out of his face, “I can’t believe…you did that. For me.”

“It’s all for you,” he kicked open the door to his dressing room and stepped inside. He slammed it shut and locked it, keeping away prying eyes and ears. He set you down gently before kissing you, taking your face in his face and refamiliarizing himself with your lips, “baby.”

“Ask me,” you pulled back and practically beamed at him, “ask me how I feel about you.”

“How do you feel about me?” he held your waist, his heart beating wildly and threatening to burst out of his chest. He’d been waiting for this moment, and he’d pictured it probably a hundred different times and yet, he never imagined this.

“I love you,” there it was out in the open. It was terrifying and electrifying all at once. Eddie’s honey brown eyes widened in surprise and there was only a moment of uncertainty in them before his expression softened. Hardcore rockstar turned ridiculously soft, “umm…yeah. That’s ugh…how I feel.”

“Good,” he pressed his forehead against yours, “because that’s how I feel about you, sweetheart. I love you…have for a long time.”

“Me too,” you rocked back and forth on your heels, insides bubbling with butterflies and anticipation. 

You hesitated for just a moment but the two of you were so in sync that you leaned in to kiss each other at the same time, accidentally bumping noses and clicking your teeth. A nervous laugh escaped your lips as he quickly kissed you again. 

He picked you up, carrying you towards the couch without skipping a beat. You were all tangled in him and kissing him fiercely. Eddie plopped down and settled you on his lap, hands already working under your shirt and exploring your skin and mapping it all out with soft touches. You leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as felt him trailing kisses along your jaw and down your neck, making it a point to leave a constellation of lavender love bites in his wake. 

“Eddie,” his name was a breathy whisper as you tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. He leaned back from you for just a moment before hastily ripping his shirt off and tossing it to the side. The sight of his pale, inked skin made you practically feral. You’d seen him shirtless countless times but never in this context; you wanted to map out every inch of skin with your lips. 

“May I?” he reached for your shirt and you nodded, holding up your arms to help him. Not that it mattered, but you were suddenly so glad you wore a pretty, lacy matching set. His eyes grew back as he groaned, “you’re killing me. Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

Your face warmed up under his praise and he grabbed your chin and turned your face to meet your eyes, “Eddie-”

“I mean it,” he whispered, “and not just because my dream girl is sitting half naked in my lap.”

“You’re making it really hard-”

“I think that’s you,” he cheesed at you as played along by moving your hips along his. He hissed and threw his head back, “fuck, you’re playing dirty.”

“Maybe so,” you reached behind your back and undid your bra, tossing to join your shirts. His eyes grew wide as saucers and he felt like an awkward teenage boy again, “I hate to ruin the romance, but I really want you inside of me.”

“Y-yeah,” he sucked in a breath as you reached for the waistband of his jeans, popping the button and lowering the zipper. You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up when you saw that he wasn’t wearing underwear, “what?! My jeans are tight.”

“You’re…something else,” he rucked your shirt up to your waist, smirking at the pretty pair of panties…that he quickly tore off you,”Edward!”

“I’ll buy you new ones,” he growled as he went back to kissing you, lips trailing along your collarbones, “I’ll buy you all the pretty lingerie you want as long as you wear it for me.”

“What if I want nothing but granny panties?”

“Whatever you want,” he promised, “you’ll look gorgeous in whatever.”

“That’s the perfect answer,” you reached down and took his length in your hand, practically causing him to have a heart attack as you stroked him a few times. He was biting his lip to hold back his moment but then quickly changed his mind and let it all out, “hmm, you sound so pretty. But I need you inside.”

“I don’t - fuck - I don’t have a condom-”

“I’m on the pill,” you promised, “I trust you’re clean?”

“Got tested the day after you kicked my ass,” he winked, “and there hasn’t been anyone else.”

“Good,” you shifted so you could line him up at your entrance and slowly sank down on him, causing both of you to moan at the feeling. It took a moment to adjust to him - he definitely wasn’t lacking - but once you did, he felt so perfect, “you doing okay?”

“Yup,” he nodded, his face contorted in a look of pure pleasure, “you just feel so good, I-I need a moment or this is going to be over very quickly.”

“That’s okay,” you kissed him sweetly, brushing your knuckles over his cheek, “we’ve got plenty of times to do this again.”

“Is that a promise?” this time it was your turn to kiss him, to mark him up as you pleased to let everyone know he was yours. You nipped at his soft skin before soothing it with your lips, “I-I see that’s a promise.”

“Of course it is,” you started to move slightly, but Eddie was not having it tonight. Tonight he really just needed you. He put his hands on your hips, holding on so tightly that you were sure you’d be sporting finger shaped bruises tomorrow - not that you minded. 

“Sorry baby,” he started to fuck into you, hard and fast, causing your eyes to almost roll back. You moaned as he touched your clit and fucked you; the delicious warmth was starting to radiate out throughout your entire body as you soon felt him twitch inside of you, “fuck, I-I’m not gonna last. Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you rolled your hips in time with his, closing your eyes as you felt your release start to wash over you, “inside, please.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” his flopped against the back of the couch as you felt him paint your insides with his release. You came along with him, leaning his body as you rode out your orgasm, his deft fingers still touching your clit. At some point you had to push his hand away before the overstimulation was too much. 

You all but collapsed against him, and he wrapped his arms around you. Eddie could feel your grin as you trailed your lips along his neck, “that was-”

“Amazing?’ he finished for you, turning your face up to his so he could kiss, “I can’t wait to do that again.”

“Me too,” you admitted sheepishly, “and if you still wanted to go out on that date….I’m free whenever.”

“Oh, I’m taking you on all the dates,” he playfully scoffed as though that had ever been a question, “and going to show everyone that you’re mine.”

“I’m proud of you, Eddie,” those words had way more of an impact on him than you could have expected. He practically preened under your praise, “you really made a lot of changes and I can see that you’ve been happier. That makes me happy too.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he traced aimless shapes into your back, “seriously. You’re the best thing in my life. I love you, really.”

“I know,” you pressed a sweet, saccharine little kiss to his cheek, “I really love you. Can I ask for one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Round two?”

“Fuck yes.”

[begginmonty]

working with mike (part two)

(hello here is part two, sorry for the long delay urm, there is going to be like two more parts to this because i didnt get to put everything i wanted in this and it was already too long lol, so keep your eyes out for the next part/s)

part 1

you wake up a few hours later, finding yourself completely like latched onto mike’s waist and he’s got his arm around you, his head hanging down, almost on top of yours. it takes you a few seconds but it suddenly hits you and you realise you two are cuddling.

you can’t help but stare at him a little, he’s beautiful. you manage to carefully detach yourself from mike, immediately missing his warmth. he doesn't stirr one bit, he is knocked tf out 

mike wakes up about an hour later all groggily, and he blinks himself awake and looks down, lowkey (highkey) wanting you to still be there but you aren't :( but there's a note on the coffee table in front of him. ‘goodmorning for when you wake up! the mechanic called and i’ve gone to sort out my car. i’ll give you back your clothes later, see you at work! - y/n. <3’  even though he’s half asleep, he lights up a little reading the little love heart you left. 

someone's broken into the pizzeria and destroyed it :( vanessa calls you explaining everything and you decide to go into work a little earlier than usual. glass everywhere, old arcade games all mashed up and just broken/destroyed shit everywhere. it’s gonna be a long night. 

after a quick ass whooping from vanessa (not literally, she’s just pissed) she sets off and you get to work quickly. once again putting on the old 80s music mix tape and putting it to play through the speakers, you get to work picking up all the old toys and concessions thrown across the main dining area. 

mike pulls up with abby, and he see’s the lights on, noticing you’re a bit earlier than usual. anyway, they sit in the car, mike explaining rules to abby, “is y/n going to be there?” even the mention of your name has mike feeling something, “uh, yeah, y/n w-will be there” “i like y/n” abby’s smiling, looking at the pizzeria sign. 

you’re busy sweeping up glass, music in the background, and you suddenly hear a “woahhh” you turn around and it’s mike and abby. a smile lights up your face, “hey guys” you were not expecting abby but probably babysitting problems and you weren’t going to snitch to your boss about it. definitely not.

both mike and abby are looking at the damage, and mike looks at you, “oh yeah, vanessa called me earlier and some kids or something broke in earlier this morning” he nods and then he notices you’re actually still wearing his sweatshirt (his heart!!!!)

when abby is all set up, asleep in the office, mike walks out the security office to find you picking up chairs and moving them. “im sorry, for bringing abby, max wasn’t picking up and i couldn't leave her-”  “mike dont stress it, it’s all good” and you smile at him and that kind smile always flutters his heart !! hes got big big crush

you guys spend the next few hours cleaning up as much as you can and the conversation just flows between you (you do most of the talking but he likes listening to you talk) and you make him chuckle a few times and aHHH 

when the two of you are cleaning the kitchen area, your palm grazes a piece of glass, and you let out a little ow looking at your hand, nothing dangerous just a little pool of blood, mike stands up INSTANTLY from picking up something from the ground, “what happened? You okay?” “yeah, just nicked by hand on glass i think” and he strides over to you instantly, holding your hand looking at you palm. he’s very gentle holding your fingers, shining a flashlight. you’re desperately praying the heat in your face isn’t smeared all over your cheeks in heavy blush thank god for dim lighting.

medic mike to the rescue (even though you've assured you’re fine) and you guys are sat at the kitchen counters, on cheap plastic chairs, a first aid box on the table next to you. he’s got your hand in his, and a pair of tweezers. he manages to get the glass out, you hiss a little in pain and he’s focused on getting the glass out so he mumbles (not carelessly hes just focused) “sorry”, “its okay!”, “all done”. 

“where’d you learn to be such a good medic?” “abby” you laugh at his response as you look at your hand, and mike’s just looking at you, staring. something about your smile and the fact you’re in his sweatshirt, it’s doing things to him. (not horny things you pervs) too early for love but something nearly as strong is there. 

“you’re a very good person mike. I hope you know that” your voice is gentle as you look up from your hand, and make eye contact with him, the warmest smile on your lips. no ones praised him like this in such a long time. being constantly told he’s a failure or feeling like the whole world is against him, hearing something so genuine from such a genuine person, he’s unsure how to answer. “there’s a lot of people who would disagree” and begins to tidy up the med stuff, looking away from him but you stop him and reach out, grabbing his hand, he slowly looks at you. “no, mike, i really mean it. you’re a wonderful big brother, and you helped me this morning, you even gave me your clothes, you made sure i was safe mike, y’know. no one’s been this nice to me in a long time”

man doesn't know how to or when to kiss he hasn’t been kissed like since his first kiss when he was probably around 16? you’re gonna have to instigate. he’s silent, looking at you, processing your words. your chairs are already close together, knees touching. you slowly bring your hand up to his cheek, and lean forward and your lips meet softly. !!!!!!!!

its quick and you pull away, he’s flustered!! you look into each other's eyes before he kisses you back, a bit hungrier, more movement and he’s got his hand on the wrist that’s holding his cheek. 

the deepen kiss lasts for a good 30 seconds, before he pulls away and you two are just staring at each other, and there's a small smile on your face and he’s speechless (in a good way!!!!!!!) “i-i should probably go check on abby” “yeah, of course” your voice is soft as is your smile, and he goes off to check on abby. you give him the benefit of the doubt, probably the most romance he’s been involved in for at least 8, maybe 10 years? he’s awkward at it, and you’re not upset he goes to check up on abby, there’s a smile on your lips. although the second he’s out of your view, your eyes widen “oh my god” whispering, realising you just kissed mike !!!

[dc418writes]

✨Pairing✨: trucker!Ari Levinsonxblack!reader

Summary🪄: It’s always a time when uncle Ari comes around

⚠️: uncle!Ari (just as damaging as dad!Ari and regular Ari lol) mention of nightmares, pretty much all fluff💕

A/N🎤: Hey guys! Another Halloween themed fic but this time with a softer Ari😌. This will serve as atonement to myself (and others who might be affected) for daring to make my fave dark in my last post lol. Hope you guys like it!!

*DISCLAIMER!: although visual made by me via Canva, I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP of pics used as they were all found on Pinterest*

As expected, four year old Grace had been attached to Ari since the moment you both arrived to babysit for the night. You wouldn’t say you were upset seeing that he was her uncle and that they’ve talked nearly every day since she could babble, but there was still a little sting every time you were greeted with a quiet “hi” or short wave before she was gone and you long forgotten.

Like now as they dug through their shared pumpkin emptying it’s stringy contents while you were in charge of decorating the sugar cookies waiting on the cooling rack.

“S’cold!,” she squealed dumping out her handful of pumpkin guts.

“Be careful of the seeds, you swallow one and a huge pumpkin’s gonna grow in your belly,” Ari warned to which little Grace quickly shook her head.

“Nuh-uh!”

“Uh-huh!”

“No uncle Ari, we can eat. See?” Before either of you can say anything, she’s quick to set one on her tongue happily chewing until she can swallow it down rubbing her belly. “I’m fine.”

“I guess you showed me huh,” he chuckles tapping her nose and leaving some juice from his finger on her skin successfully turning it light orange. Grace is quick to retaliate though rubbing her hands on his cheeks to leave behind tiny pieces of string as she giggles - and you do too from the other side of the kitchen.

Honestly you couldn’t blame her for picking Ari over you as her favorite. You’d choose him too if you had to pick between the two of you.

“Alright, it’s pretty much cleaned out now. You want scary or funny?,” he asks watching as she adorably tapped her tiny finger to her temple in thought.

“Hmm…funny!”

“Got it,” he nods. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and help your aunt with cookies?”

“I got everything we could ever want Grace,” you smile reaching in your grocery bag full of decorating goodies. “There’s sprinkles - three different shapes I might add - glitter, edible stickers, and stencils to help us draw shapes!”

The way she gazed at the sprinkles with her mouth in a little “o”, you think you’ve got her. Finally able to bond with her over a shared love of cookies like you were in one of those Hallmark movies. Like a little happy family.

“Um..wanna stay with uncle Ari.”

Well, so much for that.

“Oh okay,” you answer successfully hiding your hurt behind your nonchalance. Ari still notices though giving you a sympathetic smile and mouthing, “sorry.”

You appreciated him trying, but maybe you were just meant to be the fun uncle’s wife that barely got a hello. And who tends to go overboard with cookie decorating supplies.

•

“Alright ladies are we ready?,” Ari asks sitting on the navy blue sectional between you and a bouncy Grace nodding yes. During your spaghetti dinner - made by Ari since apparently his was the best although he used your recipe - he suggested that you all watch a movie afterwards.

Specifically, Gremlins.

His thought process being what better way for everyone - more so you and Grace - to spend time together than to watch a movie? Especially a spooky one seeing that it was the night before Halloween. You, on the other hand, had a few concerns on his niece potentially being scared of the little troublesome creatures.

“She’ll be fine. It’s not that scary,” he assured kissing your cheek.

Freshly bathed and in her appropriately themed pumpkin pajamas, Grace couldn’t wait holding on tight to her Mickey Mouse blanket as she watched her uncle press play.

“Share with me!,” she smiles just as Ari spreads the bigger, cream blanket over both yours and his lap.

“I’m not gonna fit though bug.”

“Uh huh! Watch,” she states crawling into his lap and neatly spreading the grey blanket over her legs and his thighs. You - again - casted off to the side with your blanket as she tilts her head back to look up at him. “We fit!”

“Y-Yea, looks like we do.” He gives you another sympathetic smile draping his arm around your shoulders while you bundle deeper under the blanket.

“I’d rather be by myself anyway. Little does she know her uncle is a blanket hog,” you think trying to make yourself feel better.

•

Ari appeared to be right on Grace not being scared. She even fell asleep towards the end with her upper half on the cushion next to them and lower half still on his lap; mouth wide open pointed towards the ceiling. Ari was the one to tuck her in bed, while you cleaned up the blankets and plates of cookie crumbs left in the living room.

You were the last to enter the shared guest room to finally get ready for bed yourself. Your love struck husband taking turns gazing at you and the last period of some hockey game as you strode back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom. A small, dopey smile on his lips watching you wash your face and apply all your products.

“Share with me?,” he pouts with those puppy eyes making you giggle while sliding into the full sized bed.

“I don’t know,” you sigh, “I feel like Grace is gonna somehow come in saying how she wants you to sleep in her room instead because that’s where you’re supposed to be.”

Yes probably a little petty, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

His tattooed arms bring you closer into his body pecking the top of your head as you settle between his pecs. A low “aw” vibrating in his chest while his hands rub along your back.

“I know I probably sound jealous, but I’m not. I love how you have a great relationship with your niece! But it’s like she hates me and I have no idea what I did.”

He knew that had always been a bit of a fear for you. Kids hating you for whatever reason, thus meaning you shouldn’t have them although you did desire to be a mother one day. It’s why you were nervous meeting Grace all those years ago, afraid that the smallest mess up would ruin everything.

It didn’t help that the minute Ari passed her to you, she began whining and squirming. Your coos of comfort and gentle rocks didn’t seem to help, only making her more agitated not getting what she wanted. She didn’t stop until she was back in Ari’s strong arms and you kept your distance the rest of the visit cautious of a repeat interaction.

If only he could get you to ignore that fear and really see how everyone you met - adults and children alike - had no issues with you. Some even left enchanted by the charisma you thought you lacked.

“I promise, she doesn’t hate you gorgeous.”

“She said so?,” you quietly ask lifting your head with a hint of hope.

“Well…no. But she didn’t say the opposite either.” He tried to soothe your qualms, but it’s not helping the way he hoped watching your head fall back to his chest with a light huff. “Trust me sweetheart. I guess she’s just attached to me because-,”

“You’re amazing and clearly the favorite,” you mumble making him chuckle.

“I was gonna say because I talk to her more, but I’ll take the compliment.”

It’s not long after that you’re both falling asleep lulled by the shared warmth from holding each other. Ari’s soft snores vibrating the side of your face still lying on his chest.

You think you’re dreaming when a mix of a whine and cry hits your ears disrupting your rest and making you groggily sit up. Hearing feet shuffling outside your door though confirms those sounds are in fact real, giving you more motivation to investigate.

Your husband’s too far gone in his own dreamland to be affected by your moving; still lightly snoring with an arm over his forehead and the other out by his side.

Quietly opening the door, you wrap your arms around yourself in your thin pajama set feeling the chill of the night air seeping into your sister in law’s house before carefully padding out to the living room. There, you notice something on the couch moving under the blanket you folded earlier causing you to freeze in place. It was then you realized you probably should’ve woken Ari up so he could be the one playing detective or at least grabbed something you could use to defend yourself.

“H-Hello?,” you call out to the dim space only lit by a couple plug in nightlights in the walls.

“Hi,” Grace’s soft voice responds with a short sniffle.

You also realize how you’re sleepy brain might not be fully thinking straight unable to conclude earlier how it could just be your own niece sitting there on the couch.

Stepping closer, you sit on the cushion next to hers peeling back the cotton throw until you see her splotchy face and red eyes. Water attached to her curled lashes and some still threatening to spill over. “What’s wrong?”

“Bad dream…gwemlins,” she answers using the blanket to wipe her eyes. You immediately hug her close as you coo and assure her everything’s okay.

And surprisingly, she hugs you back.

Her tiny arms wrap tight around you - well, as far as they could with her adorably short reach - almost refusing to let you go.

“Yea, when they get angry they can be scary huh?”

She nods. “And have very very sharp teeth.”

“They do, but luckily they’re not real so there’s nothing-,”

A crash from the back room startles both of you making Grace scream, with the six year old nearly choking you now having her arms around your neck.

“It’s them!,” she cries hiding her face in your shoulder just as Ari limps into the living room holding his knee and appearing half asleep.

“Damn dresser,” he grumbles wiping his eyes that quickly fill with concern seeing both of you on the couch and his niece upset. “What’s wrong?”

“Grace had a nightmare about Gremlins,” you answer pointedly glaring at him as if saying, “I told you so!”

The slight wince on his face isn’t just from an uncomfortable knee as he walks forward to perch on the coffee table. “I’m sorry bug. I didn’t mean to show that to you to scare you.”

“Not nice uncle Ari,” she mumbles still attached to you.

“Forgive me?,” he pouts holding his arms out for a hug. “Peas?”

Wiping her eyes one last time, a small smile begins to spread on her lips as she moves from you to Ari. A fit of giggles rapidly escaping her mouth as his larger body practically swallows hers in a bear hug and he attacks her cheeks with kisses. A dramatic “mwah” sounding every time he made contact causing you to giggle as well.

And fantasize the undoubtedly joyful future you’d both have with your own children.

“Don’t do it again!,” she chastises when he stops. Wagging her finger inches from his nose making him chuckle. She was definitely her mother’s child.

“I promise I won’t.”

“Alright guys,” you sigh, “Since it’s gonna be a bit difficult to go back to sleep, I say we watch something happy.”

“Not Gwemlins!”

“No definitely not,” you chuckle. “I was thinking..Aladdin.”

“Yay! I love Aladdin!,” she claps in Ari’s arms as he picks her up so they both can sit on the couch. To both of your surprise, Grace crawls from her uncle’s lap and squeezes between you and Ari. “You like too?”

“Mhm, I even went as Princess Jasmine for Halloween when I was little.” You have to admit, seeing that gleam of admiration in her eyes as she gazed up at you made you silently thank Ari for showing her that movie. It was the reason behind this bonding moment that you didn’t think would happen.

As the movie played, you and Grace talked about the scenes and of course sung along to your heart’s content not caring if you were off key. All the while Ari watched you both with a soft smile on his pink lips loving how fast of friends you’d become.

And when you both fell asleep - you leaning on his shoulder and her across your lap - he couldn’t help but sneakily take a picture with his phone. Sending it to you with a message saying “looks like you’re amazing and a clear favorite too😉”.

[elliesmainhoe]

Procrastination

Streamer!Ellie X Reader

Summary: While Ellie leaves her office for a moment, leaving her stream unattended, you sneak in.

Contents: nothing really, pure fluff, kisses, pet names.

This is a part 2 of Player Two.

My Masterlist

You'd been watching Ellie's steam from your shared bedroom, using it as a distraction from your assignment you had meant to be completing. But as a chronic-procrastinator any excuse is a good excuse.

So here you are, laying in bed, your original word document being abandoned for Ellie's stream. She was doing a pretty chill stream, playing various video games and chatting on and off with her chat.

Ever since you had officially been introduced to her stream, they had been talking about you non-stop. Her subs seeming finding teasing Ellie and making her go bright red fairy amusing.

"Yo guys." Ellie spoke, breaking the steady pace if the conversation she was having with her viewers "I need to go, I'm gonna be back in five minutes okay? Please don't start a cult while I'm gone? Okay thanks." She joked, taking off the head set and leaving it on her set.

A smirk on your face as you spotted the perfect opportunity. You got out of bed, quickly fixing your hair and throwing on a sweater before you creeped stealthily across the hallway to Ellie's now abandoned office. You creaked the door open, the harsh blue light making you squint.

You walked into the room, hiding off screen until the last second were you clapped into the mic, grinning as the spam typing of

"Oh Fuck!!"

"That was unnecessary"

Fled through the chat.

"Oh look it's my favourite people in the whole wide world" you giggled, sitting in Ellie's blue gaming chair.

User2: OMG😭

User3: Yay!!!!

User4: Hi Y/N 💙💙💙

"Hiya guys" you waved at the camera, a small ginger flurry of fur jumped into your lap "oh Garf, you gonna join me?"

"meow".

"yeah, yeah alright"

User5: I love Garfield so much

"I know I love Garfield aswell, don't I baby?" You laughed scratching the cat underneath his chin.

"How are you all doing?"

User6: Really good actually!

User7: epic

"Good, good. I'm glad to hear that." You hummed. "Oh-!" You exclaimed a thought coming to your head.

"The other day I was laying in bed ,scrolling through TikTok while I was waiting for Ells to wake up and I saw an edit. OF US!"

User8: I know all my favorite twitch editors edited you. It was so cute 😭

"Hold on let me pull it up," you say tapping the screen if your phone, clicking on TikTok and then favourites. "Right, okay, so it was this one" you said, you turned your phone around showing an out of focus video of you and Ellie edited to the song 'Glue Song' by Beabadoobee.

"When I tell you that when I saw this I cried. I am not kidding. Ended up waking Ellie up cause I was sobbing" you laughed once you finished, shaking your head at the ridiculous memory.

User9 donated $30 'Buy Garfield a new toy'

"aww thank you~" you smile scratching the purring cat between it's ears "You hear that baby, your gonna get a new toy'".

"meow"

"He says thank you and says he appreciates you and thinks your amazing".

You began talking about everything and nothing, talking about different goings on in your lives and thanking donations, all while swiveling around on Ellie's chair, stroking your cat like a bond villain.

"You look... Threatening" a voice you could tell was trying to stifle a laugh came from behind you.

"Ellie baby~ Hi~" you giggle turning around a stupid smile painting onto your face.

"Yeah, hi babe" she laughed in reply, be ding down and pressing a brief kiss to your lips. "What are you guys doing?" She asks looking into the webcam suspiciously.

"Oh we were just chatting"

"and why are you, my gorgeous beautiful smart girlfriend, talking to my chat instead of finishing the assignment you've been procrastinating about for a whole week, hmm?"

"uhhh I plead the fifth" you said, smiling sheepishly at the woman.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Right guys I'm gonna have to end this stream here. If I don't babysit my girlfriend she will wonder off, forget about her work and end up being upset when she hasn't done it. So, girlfriend duties call, bye"

She clicked a few buttons, the screen changing and then switching off, "c'mon baby, let's get to bed" she hummed her arms wrapping around your torso and lifting you out of the seat.

------------

Just a quick one before I go to bed 💙.

Taglist: @aunslie @lonelyfooryouonly

Join my taglist here

Part 3

[hvghes]

can u write sum ab luke having a kid but u were the babysitter and luke falls for u😮 (the mom isn’t really in the picture cuz we won’t be that messy🤣)

how you get the girl - l.hughes

set later in the future warnings: none i think

luke hughes, never did he expect to have a baby. that was until one day someone left a child at his doorsteps. that was almost a year ago, things were easier in the off season but once season hit he needed to find a babysitter. much to his luck he found someone who was able to watch his baby while he had games and practices. hockey surroundings were not most suitable for a young baby.

“and everything is still in the same places they should be. thank you again i know it was last minute you’re a life savior.” luke said before grabbing his hockey bag heading off to practice.

you loved babysitting for luke, his baby girl was such a delight, never gave you a hard time spending most of your time cuddled up on the couch. today was no different, you and ellie, lukes baby were cuddled up on his couch sleeping when luke got back from practice. he placed his bag down quietly before placing a blanket on you and the baby smiling to himself.

he tried to deny his feelings but seeing you care so much for his kid and how much his kid adores you, he couldn’t help but to think to himself his feelings for you.

another hour passed before you and ellie woke up and luke was sitting right next to you guys watching tv quietly.

“sorry did i wake you?” luke said turning the tv down more. “no dont worry, sorry i fell asleep ill head out now.” you said before sitting up gently handing ellie to him standing up, before he pulled you down. “its fine stay, dinner is almost done and she likes it better when you feed her and i was hoping we could talk after.” he said and you were nervous for the talk but nodded and sat back down. what if he didnt need you anymore, what was going on.

after feeding ellie and putting her to bed luke was putting away the dishes before you hopped up on the counter next to him.

“what’d you need to talk about?” you said looking down at him, voice clearly nervous. he stood between your legs looking up at you before letting out a shaky breath “this might be a lot but, i really like you. i haven’t liked anyone in this long. i know you’re a babysitter and its your job but you care so much for ellie and always respect my schedule, always dropping anything to be here, and ellie loves you. you’re super sweet and i stay up late at night thinking about what itd be like if you were mine, its okay if you dont-“ you cut off his rambles with a kiss. his hands cupped your cheek while yours held onto the collar of his shirt pulling him closer.

after pulling away you whispered to him “i like you too.” he let out a sigh of relief before kissing you again. glad he finally got the courage to get his girl.

tags: nini my fav @ghostfacd !!

[rachoxpotato]

🎲 Charlie Barber x Female Reader   ⚠️  babysitter/client relationship, age difference (reader 18), inappropriate use of Scrabble tiles, hand kink, Daddy, cunnilingus, p in v ✏️ 3k words -

Henry's been asleep since before Charlie got home.

Since putting him to bed, you’ve managed to put away almost all of the night’s activities and start the dishwasher. You’re heading into the living room, sights set on picking up the game of Scrabble (in which Henry insisted ‘gleeba’ is a word) when the front door opens.

“Hey, Mister Barber,” you greet from the floor as you slide the tiles from your letter racks onto the board.

He approaches with a smile on his face and stands over you—tall, towering, his hands on his hips. You swallow and continue tossing tiles onto the board so you can more easily funnel them back into their bag.

"Wanna play?" Charlie asks. "Or do you need to get home?"

Even as he asks the question, he takes a seat on the floor, clearly confident in what your response will be. 

He’s right.

"I can play," you say, dumping the tiles onto the carpet as Charlie flips them with thick fingers. 

Desperately attempting to focus on anything that isn’t those hands, you spend an unnecessarily long amount of time straightening his wooden tile rack, ensuring it’s perfectly placed. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch his two massive palms covering practically all of the tiles as he swirls them around, mixes them up, and you stop breathing when your own fingers graze his.

You choose seven wooden blocks. 

“Ladies first,” he says with a smile, voice so deep, it shakes your core. You place your tiles across the star to play ‘CATCH,’ and then take five tiles to replace them.

Charlie keeps score, tallying up your points for you on the pad. 

Such a dad.

“How was your meeting tonight?” you ask so you have an excuse to look at his face. 

He shrugs, face laced with concentration as he anticipates his next move. 

“Fine. Boring.” 

You smile. “Hopefully this is a bit more titillating.” 

Charlie looks up at you. His eyes fall to your chest as he considers your word choice and you clench as your heart rate speeds up. 

“It definitely is, Sweetheart,” he says, voice deep, as he returns his own focus to the letters in front of him. 

You’d been babysitting Henry since you were 16, even before Charlie and Nicole broke up. Conveniently enough, you live in the apartment above them and over the years, you’d grown attached to Henry. He’s smart and funny, he always remembers you and doesn’t need Charlie to reintroduce you. And he’s a good kid, easy to hang out with. You never mind canceling plans to help out the Barbers. 

Well, to help out Mr. Barber.

Besides, Charlie pays incredibly generously and as you’ve gotten older, you’ve come to appreciate everything about him: his size, his demeanor, the way he’s such a dedicated father. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the way you catch him staring at you since you’ve turned 18.

You know you shouldn’t have a crush on the man who pays you to watch his son. You should be interested in guys your own age but… there’s something about your 6’4” client whose hands appear as though they could wrap around your entire waist in one go. And you’ve tried to think of anyone else with your bedroom door locked, and your tiny fingers between your legs–like the captain of the football team, or the guy who sits behind you in Calc, but Mr. Barber always worms his way into your thoughts right as you’re about to come. 

Charlie plays the word ‘VEIN’ and you can’t help but clench at the sight of his own veins rolling over his knuckles as his hand flexes, the tendons straining when he reaches for his pencil to document his score. 

“Sweetheart?” he asks in a tone that implies he’d been trying to get your attention for a while. “Are you okay?” 

You can’t tear your eyes off of his hand as you apologize.

“It’s okay.” He smiles, his perfectly crooked teeth peeking out from behind his plush, pink lips.

When you look up at him, his eyes flick up to meet yours, his features laced with guilt as you catch him staring at your chest again. 

Then you play ‘WIDE.’ 

As you reach to place your tiles, you bend a little further than necessary, so more cleavage is revealed to his clearly hungry gaze. 

He inhales sharply. 

“We could uh… we could make this more fun,” he says. “If you want.”

“Okay,” you say immediately. “I want.”

Charlie swallows, looks you up and down, his gaze scorching as he takes in your tiny denim shorts. 

“Whoever plays the lower scoring word for the round… removes an article of clothing.” 

It’s always warm in his apartment, so it’s not like you have a ton of clothes on to begin with, but you nod anyway, and you’re not sure if he purposely plays a word that scores him lower than yours, but he slips his cardigan off his shoulders without prompting and you smirk. 

The following round, he’s delighted when ‘CLOSE’ earns him 24 points. 

You arch an eyebrow. 

“Shirt.” His voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it, eyes dark and focused. He watches you cross your arms at the hem of your shirt and he inhales deeply as you tug it up and over your head, revealing your lace bralette. It’s not completely see-through, but your nipples ache and are desperate for attention. They’re clearly visible as they strain beneath the fabric. 

The second round goes to you and you memorize everything about the way his fingers undo the buttons of his shirt. You’re disappointed to see he has an undershirt on. He chuckles when you pout. 

The next round goes to you as well and unfortunately, you have to waste this win on his shoes, but he throws you a bone and takes his socks off as well. 

The letters you pick up are less than stellar and when it’s your turn again, you mindlessly drag your ‘W’ Scrabble tile across the bare skin of your chest while you survey the board. 

“Fuck,” Charlie mutters under his breath as he shifts his weight and you’d noticed the bulge in his slacks earlier but it must be uncomfortable for him now because he rearranges his long legs for the third time in the past minute. 

Still, he plays a word that scores him 21 points and his eyes unabashedly shift from your chest to your shorts, and back up to your chest as he considers his options. 

“Bra.” You take a deep breath in and bite your lip as you tug the bralette up and slip your arms out of it, your breasts dropping out of the lace. 

His expression is caught somewhere between pain and hunger as he devours your bare tits with his eyes. He sees you squirm where you sit, attempting to grind your center on the floor but it’s not the right angle, and it’s not enough. So you play your turn and win the round. You want his undershirt off desperately but you take pity on him and request his pants, his erection now so painfully obvious; it must be throbbing. 

Unfortunately, your replacement letters contain no vowels and your options on the board are extremely limited, so when he scores higher than you on the next round, you both know what it means. 

His eyes are on your tiny fingers working the button of your shorts after you’ve stood up but your hands are shaking so violently, you struggle. 

“Let me, Princess,” he says, walking toward you on his knees. 

He’s so tall, he’s eye-level with your chest. He nudges your legs apart before hooking his fingers into the waistband on either side and freezes, looks up at you. You nod, head moving half an inch but it’s all the permission he needs before his mouth wraps around one hard nipple, and his hands tug at your tiny shorts. 

You whimper as he pulls them down your thighs, his mouth siphoning at your tit like he’s sucking a milkshake through a straw, and your panties get hooked with the denim. 

You don’t even realize it's happening until Charlie pulls off of you to say, “fuck it, I’m taking this, too,” and yanks your thong down as well, leaving you completely bare in front of him. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, free hand climbing up the inside of your thigh. “Fuck, you’re so perfect. So gorgeous. So grown up now, aren’t you?” You nod as his finger reaches the apex of your thighs. 

You shift your weight back and forth as he strokes your folds, teases the creases between your sex and thighs.

“Mister Barber,” you whimper.

“Is this okay, Princess?” he asks.

You nod. “More.”

He smirks, but applies a bit of pressure and slides that finger through your folds. You can’t help but moan as his thick digit glides effortlessly through your soaked flesh, over your entrance and up toward your clit.

“So goddamn wet. This pussy. Fuck, Princess.” 

He gathers some of your arousal onto his fingertip and brings it to your clit. Once slick, he circles the throbbing nub a few times, earning gasps and moans from you. Your hands flail, desperately seeking purchase on his head, his shoulders, anything. 

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” He presses his finger to your entrance and slips it inside to the middle knuckle with ease. “Anyone ever touch you like this, Honey?” 

You nod slowly. 

“Yeah?” he asks. “Bet they didn’t make you feel like I can… will you let me, Sweetheart? Let me show you how good I can make you feel?” 

You nod. 

“Say yes, Baby Girl. I need you to tell me.” 

“Yes,” you say immediately, walls clenching around his finger. “Please, more.” 

He curls his finger forward toward your front wall and you gasp as pleasure shoots through your system. Then, he adds a second finger. 

He pumps them slowly, testing you, watching your face contort to see how much you can take. You groan when he withdraws his fingers, but you get a good look at them when he lifts them to your face. 

“Look how wet you are for me, Princess,” he says, painting your bottom lip with your own arousal. 

You allow both fingers into your mouth when he prods and you moan as you taste yourself, suck your juices off of him. 

Then, you grab his wrist, holding his hand in place so your tongue can make figure eights around and through his digits. 

Damn, you never knew that fingers could taste so good, that their weight on your tongue could feel like this, that sucking them deeper into your mouth could cause a surge of arousal to flood your already soaked center. 

“You like this, Baby Girl? You like sucking Daddy’s fingers?”

Your knees nearly give out at that. You’d always wanted to say it, to call someone that but… most boys your age hardly want to be called ‘Babe,’ let alone ‘Daddy.’

But it fits him so well, you decide, as this fantasy knocks you off balance. 

Charlie sits back on the floor and beckons you down with him using those fingers, until you’re straddling his lap and he lets you continue to suck as his opposite hand plays with your tits. He massages them, squeezes them, holds them in his hand and makes them bounce. You moan when he pinches a nipple and gasp when he twists it. 

The ache between your legs is unbearable. It doesn’t help that your legs are spread open so you can’t even rub your thighs together in the way you usually do when you see Mr. Barber. 

“Atta girl,” he coos, bringing your free hand to the bulge in his boxer-briefs. “You like sucking on Daddy’s fingers, huh?” 

You nod, let your eyes fall shut as you hollow out your cheeks. “Will you do that while you let me fuck you, Baby Girl?”

You whine as he pries his fingers from your reluctant mouth and he chuckles. 

“You’ll get them back, Princess. I could never deny you.” 

He pulls his own shirt off and you marvel at his chest—the hard muscles and sheer width of him. His soft tummy bulges slightly over the waistband of his boxer briefs and brings you a sense of comfort you can’t explain and didn’t even know you needed.

His broad shoulders flex under your gaze and he smirks. Charlie keeps you in his lap as he maneuvers his boxer-briefs down and grips your waist so tight, his long fingers nearly wrap entirely around you. 

“So beautiful,” he whispers, tilting his head up and capturing your lips with his. You moan as he squeezes you harder and thrusts his tongue into your mouth. 

You feel him, hard and thick beneath you. You want to see it, but your bodies are pressed too closely together. You feel too small in his embrace, too powerless to make any decisions for the two of you.

“Mister B-” you whisper-whine before stopping yourself and moaning, “Daddyyyyy…”

“Shh, Baby Girl, I promise I’ll take good care of you, okay?” he coos and you nod. “Trust me.” 

And you do. He lifts you slowly, until he’s lined up at your entrance. 

“Please tell me you’re on birth control.” 

“I am,” you breathe and he releases a sigh of relief as he lowers you onto him slowly. “Ahh,” you gasp as he stretches you out, pressing kisses to your chest and throat to distract you from any discomfort. 

“Sweetheart, you’re—“

He doesn’t finish his train of thought. Just lifts you up off of him and you groan as he falls out. 

“Daddy,” you whine as he sets you down on the scrabble board and pushes you back.

Charlie hovers over you and kisses you while one of his massive hands explores the curves of your body. You feel so vulnerable, spread open on his living room floor like this. 

Kissing his way down your body, he pays extra attention to your breasts—sucking, kissing, licking at your nipples until they’re soaked and pointed. 

“Daddy!”

Continuing south, Charlie positions your legs, spreads them the way he wants them and licks a stripe up your cunt experimentally and without warning. 

“Yes, Princess?” he asks coyly. His hand appears between your legs. 

Your back arches involuntarily as he licks your clit, and explores your folds with his tongue. Scrabble tiles dig into your back as you squirm and Charlie reaches up to pin you with a forearm across your hips. 

You nearly scream his name as his tongue works you and he covers your mouth with a massive hand. 

“Kid’s asleep,” he reminds you, but you hardly hear him when you grab his wrist and take two of his fingers into your mouth. 

As you suck them, he sucks on your clit, his siphons matching your pace until you’re moaning, lips vibrating against his knuckles as your climax builds.

No one’s ever done this for you before. Sure, you’d made yourself come, but the boys you’d fooled around with probably couldn’t even point to your clit, let alone know how to tease it and suck at it. 

Back arching, heart pounding, Scrabble tiles jabbing, you thrash across the floor and board as your orgasm wreaks havoc through your system, shakes you to your core. 

“Good girl,” he praises, lifting his head off of you. He wipes his soaked mouth and chin on your inner thigh, your hip bone, your ribs, like a dog rubbing its scent, marking its territory. 

“You came so well for me, Baby Girl. So good, so fucking good.” 

Charlie wraps one of your pliant legs around his waist and you do everything in your power to tighten your muscles and hold it there for him while he enters you for a second time, filling you completely, but this time, it’s so much better. 

“Fuck, oh my god, I-” 

“Shh,” he tells you again, covering your mouth and refusing to allow you to pull it away. He buries his head in the crook of your neck as he thrusts hard and fast into you, the Scrabble tiles nearly cutting your back open. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight still. Fuck, such a perfect pussy. Can’t believe you’re letting me fuck you,” he babbles as his hips snap against yours. 

The friction of his thick cock rubbing mercilessly against your stretched walls renders you unable to think, let alone speak. Whiney babbles escape from between your lips as your body rocks back and forth with the force of his thrusts, your tits jiggling, and legs hardly able to remain locked around his waist.

Your back can only lift so much with his weight over you but as he grinds into you, a second orgasm rakes through your system, waves of pleasure coursing through your body as his thrusts grow sloppy and he spills into you, hitting you hard and deep as he comes. His hand slides off your mouth and he plants it on the floor to lift himself off of you. 

“Fuck,” he breathes looking down at your naked body. “That was perfect, Baby Girl. You’re amazing.” He kisses your neck. “You were so good for me.” 

You accept his lips when he leans up to kiss you. 

“Are you okay?” he whispers, nudging your nose with his. 

“Yeah, I just…” you maneuver your hand behind your back and pluck a Scrabble piece jabbing your shoulder blade. “Maybe round two can be in your bed?” 

“Round two?” Charlie asks with an eyebrow arched. 

“Of Scrabble. After all, we didn’t get to finish our first game,” you tease with a coy smile before dropping your voice, looking up at him through your lashes and whispering, “Daddy.”

Charlie growls before whisking you away to his bed. 

Your clothes somehow make it to the room, but the disheveled Scrabble board remains in the middle of the living room floor.

[youreorangeyoumoron]

✨ WIP Wednesday ✨

I was tagged by @allatariel last week! thank you :)

So I have a couple Margo x Sergei WIPs in store. None of them are particularly polished, though there's always the Brazil one but atm I find it so cringe that I can't bear to look at it.

But! I chose a few paragraphs from this AU that I've been cooking up (letting it stew would be more accurate) about Margo and Sergei babysitting baby Javi.

Now Javi was born in 1988, 89, give or take, which places this fic after Margo and Sergei discuss sushi, and before Sergei successfully goes for the Hand Touch ™. I was curious to write a Margo who's gained a lot of confidence since S2 but still remains a little awkward at times, there's potential for a lot of fun, and for her to reflect on her relationship with Sergei with her newfound confidence. Just what exactly happens in those twelve months in between elevator rides that makes her ready to accept more intimacy with him? Let's rotate her thought process for a bit.

(his divorce helps, lbr, but I'm looking for her "...oh". moment. Which knowing her may take several moments and a severe barrelling through her mental defenses but that's what fanfic is for)

Javi stared intently at the new guy, clenching Margo’s jacket in his little fist. Sergei removed his own jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. His tie came off next, leaving him in his white shirt. He pointed at Javi’s fist. “It’s a very nice jacket. Kids are messy.” Margo glanced down at the kid, saw the death grip he had on her lapel – and a small drool stain from earlier. She sighed. It was a very nice jacket. “Yeah, I should change, I brought a change of clothes. Can you…” She handed Javi to Sergei with fumbling gestures; he pulled the kid into a much more assured embrace, which reassured her. She slowly backtracked into the hallway. Suddenly held by unfamiliar arms, Javi began to whine. Margo winced, gestured towards the kid. “Or he could go on his playmat. Do you want me to…” “No, no, it’s alright.” Sergei began to rock Javi, with a lot more ease than she had. His entire attention was captivated by the baby in his arms. As the whines turned into full-blown cries, Sergei caught the pacifier just in time and set it on the side table. “It’s okay, Tia Margo will be in the next room for a few minutes,” he told Javi in a singsong voice that she could never muster. It shouldn’t surprise her. After all, he was the man who had her playing pretend with him in the Apollo-Soyuz docking module prototype. (For a while this experience had embarrassed her; as of late it had become a fond memory.) Seemed like he had everything under control, Margo mused as she picked up her overnight bag and escaped to Aleida’s room, where she changed out of her work clothes and into the NASA-branded T-shirt and sweatpants that she kept in her office just in case. She had made the right choice calling him over; she loved Javi, but she could use his expertise. When she made her way back to the living room, she was surprised to hear, well… nothing. She found them settled on the couch, Javi held in Sergei’s arms, clutching his bunny with one hand and intently exploring Sergei’s beard with the other. She took a minute to bask in the curious sight of Sergei sharing a special moment with an infant, smiling, sleeves rolled up, slightly dishevelled. Seeing him outside of engineering and in a domestic setting was strange, but also interesting; it was a whole other side of him, that she would otherwise have never gotten to witness. For a reason she couldn’t explain, she found herself unable to look away. Sergei eventually noticed her, and grinned up at her. “He likes the beard.” She nodded. “Me, too.” The phone ringing in the kitchen gave her the perfect opportunity to flee after this slightly too spontaneous compliment. Christ. What was she thinking?

I wish to tag @sparkleplatypuswriter @gabolange @tiltedsyllogism @gordopickett @katesofheaven @caffeinatedcrab

and anybody who would like to do it (if you're reading this but you don't watch FAM it includes you! Join the fun!) (if you do watch FAM consider yourself tagged to the moon and BACK)

[spgothkidsheadcanons]

Goths taking care of s/o when they’re sick

Henrietta:

- MAMA HEN ALERT

- I REPEAT, MAMA HEN ALERT

- She’s all over you, fussing at you whenever you try to do something yourself

- She literally babysits you and makes sure that you have absolutely everything you need

- Medicine? Check

- Water? Check

- That one really good soup you love from the restaurant all the way across town? You bet she’s getting in the car and making the trek to get you that soup

- She loves you and she’ll do anything for you

- Please just let her baby you, it’s in her blood to make sure that you feel good at all times

You were laying face down in your bed, stripped down to a tank top and a pair of shorts to escape the heat from your fever. The covers of your bed covered one half of your body, trying to keep a happy medium between being hot and cold. Henrietta sat in a chair by your bed side, one hand rubbing circles on the exposed skin of your back and the other scrolling through a remedies list on her phone. She had not left your side since you started sniffling last night. When you woke up this morning hacking up your lungs, she jumped out of bed and got you every kind of medicine you might need to get you through the day.

You picked your head up, your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, throat burning like fire and only being able to semi breathe through one nostril. Turning to look at her, your laid your head back down, your eyes studying her as she intently scrolled on her phone. You smiled at her. The medicine she had given you just a little bit ago had made you loopy, and all you wanted to do was sit there and stare at her.

“Henri, I love you.” you squeaked, voice sore from your multiple coughing fits. She looked to you, giving you a soft smile. “I love you, too.” she responded, looking back to her phone. “No, I really do love you. You’re seeing me at my worst.” you added, closing your eyes as exhaustion started to set into your body. She laughed, rolling her eyes. “Trust me, this isn’t your worst. I was there on your 21st birthday.” she responded, setting her phone down and turning to look at you. You cringed as you remembered how drunk you got that night, barely able to make it inside your home before you tossed your cookies.

Her hand moved from your back, causing you to whine at the loss of her touch. She stood from her chair, making her way to the side of the bed that wasn’t occupied. Henrietta pulled the covers back, sliding into the bed beside you. You waited until she made herself comfortable before you turned on your side and slid closer to her, lazily wrapping an arm around her. She ran her fingers through your hair, smoothing the strands that stuck to your forehead. Your eyes closed, and soon, you were knocked out, holding onto your girlfriend like your life depended on it.

Michael:

- Michael is another baby-er

- If he was on tour, he’d send his parents over to go check on you and make sure you were doing okay

- If he was in the studio, he was immediately driving to you to personally take care of you

- He cuts himself off from the social world just to stay home unbothered, turning his full attention on you

- He’s the kinda guy who, if you ask him for something, instead of stopping for a second and thinking, he’s already on his way to the store

- On foot

- He forgets he has a car if you ask him for something, instead he’s right out the door walking to the closest store

- And don’t be surprised if he comes back with a lot more shit than you needed. He just picks up anything that makes him think of you

Michael’s keyring jingled as he fumbled through them, looking for the house key. He had just got back from the store, stocking up on anything you might have needed to help you get over your temporary illness. Finally finding the key, he jammed it into the lock and opened the door, stepping in and locking the door behind him. He quickly shrugged his jacket off, not bothering to hang it on the coat rack, instead letting it fall to the floor. The only thing on his mind was putting up your ice cream and making his way back to the couch to sit with you.

Michael quietly stepped past you, snickering to himself as he say you laying stiff as a board with a cold washcloth on your head and a sleeping mask to block out the lights. Making his way to the kitchen, he put up anything that needed to put up, grabbing a glass of water and a bag that had a different assortment of medicines. He didn’t know exactly what to get, so he opted to just get everything that he thought would help.

Stepping back into the living room, Michael made his way over to the couch you were laying on. He took notice that you had begun to breathe through your mouth, your nose having gotten stuffier while he was gone. The tall man sat on the edge of the coffee table and placed his hand on your arm, gently rubbing it to show he was there. “Hey, (Y/n). I know you’re sick, but you need to sit up for a second.” he whispered, not wanting to be too loud. You groaned in response, being cut short as another coughing fit racked through your body.

Michael winced as your body finally relaxed, assisting you in sitting up just long enough for you to take the medicine. It was painful to swallow, and you took a minute to recoil from the burn. Tears welped up in your eyes, but you blinked them away. Your boyfriend frowned, reaching his hand out to cup your face. Leaning into his touch, you relished in the fact that his cool hands helped to ease the burning of your cheeks. All too soon, Michael removed his hand and moved to the couch, pulling you to lay against him. He ran his fingers through his hair, humming some random songs until you managed to finally go back to sleep. Kissing the top of your head, he decided to take a nap himself, holding one arm around you.

Pete:

- Remember how I said he doesn’t like when you take care of him when he’s sick?

- Well forget that if you’re sick

- He’s over as soon as you wake up and tell him that you don’t feel good, carrying a few different containers of soup.

- And yes, he had been up almost all morning making those for you

- He will cuddle with you no matter what kind of sick you have

- My mans just loves you a lot, and while he doesn’t want you getting sick from him, he’ll gladly get himself sick trying to take care of you

- Really, you both end up sleeping all day

- He found out the hard way that when you’re sick, you’re clingy, and you’re not letting him go

Pete had just finished warming up some of his uncle’s homemade chicken noodle soup for you in your kitchen. He poured it into a bowl he pulled from your cabinet, grabbing the exact spoon that you prefer using (the little spoons are 🤌🏻🤌🏻), and made his way into your bedroom. Thankfully, you were just dealing with a nasty cold and not the flu, your only major symptoms being a sore throat, sneezing and a cough.

Opening your door, he stepped inside, shutting it behind him. He looked at you sitting up on your bed, picking at your nails as you put your full attention onto some random show that was on the tv. You had definitely gotten over the worst of it, but you still felt bad. Thankfully, Pete’s been there since you came down with the sickness (Oo ah ah ah ah), and he’s been nonstop caring for you. In fact, if it weren’t for him, you probably wouldn’t have been taking your medicine as steadily as he made you.

Walking to the bedside, you finally noticed he had come in, turning your head and smiling at him. Scootching over to give him room, you grabbed the soup from him, allowing him to get into bed beside you before tucking in. You had practically begged him to get his uncle to make his famous soup recipe, and his uncle happily agreed when he heard that that you were feeling sick.

“Dude, if I could marry soup, I’d marry this soup right now.” you mused, happily enjoying the meal. He smiled, amused at your words. “It would go bad in a few days, I think it’s fruitless to marry soup.” he quipped back, looking at you. You sighed, pretending to cry about what he said. The medicine you’ve been taking has made you a little loopy, it didn’t take a fool to see that. “My soup husband. My soupsband.” you mourned over the loss of your pretend marriage. “Gone but never forgotten.” Pete added, causing you to cackle, only for a cough to rack through your frame. Your boyfriend rubbed your back, his heart breaking at the groan of pain you emitted after you settled.

“The only soupsband you’ll ever have is me.” he said nonchalantly, taking your empty bowl and setting it on your nightstand. “Yeah, probably. Oh well. As long as you make me soup and baby me when I’m sick.” you said, leaning on your boyfriend. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, letting you lean against him as you both laid back. The rest of the day was filled with soup, tv, and the comfort of each other.

[lazyneonrabbitt]

MarchWeres prompt day 31

Celebrations

Daryl Dixon x Original female characters

A/N: The last prompt! It has been a ride, this first try at a writing event. I had fun!!

Preparations were in full swing now, within the walls of Alexandria.

The whole last week had been about today's celebration. Something for everyone including the kids.

The adults were gathering tables and lining them with cloths, taking plates, glasses cups and cutlery from their homes and setting the table. Others gathered bread, prepared thermos' with tea and brought pitchers of water to the tables.

Everything was on the way to be an amazing brunchlike meal. Inside the closest house, meats were prepared. Cooled and sliced or heated and put in sauce. Fresh greens and vegetables were placed in between the plates too.

All while the kids of the community ran around in search of the last piece of the celebration meal.

Eggs.

All of them had stayed busy yesterday, painting them all kinds of pretty colors.

Daryl had spent all week out in the woods to get as many different meats for this feast. He brought home a collection of birds, fish and some small game. He had his hopes set on a deer as well, but even with his enhanced senses he hadn't been able to sniff one out in the area. He was tired from being in his changed form day after day, but he found it important to have this one day of feeling normal.

He hoped to spend the day before with all the kids and assisting his wives with egg painting babysitting, but instead he spent all day in the creek, fishing for those last bits of the feast.

He had apologized about it throughout the entire evening but was time after time assured everything went well on their side and told how happy they were with what he had brought back.

"Come on, big guy." Tabby was the one on older Dixon-duty while Sherry went to put the kids to bed after the moms spent enough time scrubbing paint out of their furry paws.

Tabby took Daryl upstairs to find Sherry getting ready for bed already. She knew her partners would be up only a short while after Tabby left.

"Yer too good fer me, girls." Daryl's tired, gruff voice sounded quietly as one pair of hands unbuttoned his shirt and another undid the tie on his sweats and pulled them off his body. "You did amazing, bringing us so much food." They peppered kisses all over him and lead him to bed, each curling up against him on either side. "Everyone is gonna have a feast thanks ro your hard work." They kissed him goodnight, sharing a kiss over his chest too and making sure their hunter rested.

"How's the search going, Jude? Has RJ beaten your count yet?" The siblings were digging around the porch stairs, RJ bouncing as he found another egg and put it in his bucket. "Yeah. He's so good at this! Are you sure uncle Daryl hasn't taught him stuff?" Sherry only giggled at her as she leaned down and sneakily pointed out a yet unfound egg and gave the girl a wink before moving on to watch around the area.

Tabby was on the other end of the street, watching a set of fluffy rascals on their own egg hunt as she peeled one cracked egg for Willow to gnaw on while Hunter and Rose were on either side of someone's shrubbery and sniffing out the remaining eggs.

"Hey, no sniffs. That's cheating, Rosie.." Tabby volunteered to watch the pups and make sure they wouldn't either eat everything as soon as they found it, or sniff out everything and not leave any for the other kids. All of that while carrying around Willow in her arms, who held an egg between her paws and smacked loudly as she slowly nommed on her snack.

It wasn't long before all surveilling parents came back with the kids and all found eggs, the indicator of the feast ready to begin.

All the kids were seated inbetween the adults around the table and proud tales of egg hunting were shared all over the place.

If anyone would take pictures of this and show them to anyone outside the community they'd velieve they were tsken before the fall, but still here everyone sat together enjoying their easter sunday feast.

"Hunter, eat some bread too." Sherry handed her son slices of bread to put his meat on. "You need to eat other things too, nit just the tastiest stuff."

Rose sat on the other side of her, peeling an egg and stuffing it in her mouth entirely before downing a glass of water and moving on to put warm meat on a slice of bread and devouring that too.

"Wow, here I thought Hunter was the one with the apetite." Carol laughed behind her hand, finishing her bite of food.

"Let the girl eat! She needs the energy if she still wants to spar with me later." Rosita interjected, catching Rose's attention with the mention of sparring later.

"Yeah!" The pup exclaims around a mouthfull of food. "Go'a eat good!"

Daryl was proud of his little fighter girl. Such a fierce little kid.

"Hey, Lobo. Can you hold her for a bit?" Tabby had moved over to hand Willow to her dad. "I'd love to use both hands to eat."

Willow was gladly taken off Tabby's hands by Daryl, who only had a few bites left on his plate and shared those with her while Tabby ate her own meal.

Sherry watched how Daryl kept his daughter entertained with a piece of meat on his fork. Tabby joined in to stare at him skillfully dodging her grabby hands and keeping it out of reach with the sweetest loving smile on his face. Both moms kinda stopped eating, food hovering on varying degrees between their plate and mouths as they watched what was concidered the most beautiful scene.

Daryl could feel the stares and pauzed his movements, having Willow steal the last piece of meat off his fork and nom at it, pulling back Daryl's attention to her and feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. He wasn't used to being fatherly so out in the open in front of everyone, but it was clear everyone who saw the scene play out loved it. "Good job, Willow." Carol cheered from across the table. "And here I remember you worrying about being a shitty dad back at the prison." She continued her sentimental speech with love. "Did you ever think back then you'd be as lucky as you are now?"

Daryl took a moment to admire all he had, then. Willow in his lap, happily chewing away.

Sherry and Tabby, each occupied with one pup now, cleaning paws or just being happy together. It was perfect to him.

"Nah, tha' ol' me woulda told ya yer crazy fer even thinkin' tha." He softly booped Willow's nose as dhe looked up at him. "M'the luckiest. N' I love all'a my family."

[gachastranjr]

SPOILERS Genshin 4.0 Fontaine and Archon Quest

Warning: Spoilers, just in case you didn't see the first word. Also, bad bad words. Long loong rant

First of all, pretty region. Like really beautiful. Visually pleasing and a good time out from the desert which is not yet complete at all. Blue looks good with traveler ngl. I like it a lot. Although the aquabus is really slow, it's nice to be able to sightsee the area without monsters wanting a fight. Its a good way to introduce the region ngl.

Lyney and Lynette are lovely characters. Their designs have definitely upgraded from the first peek at them and I would be attempting to pull for Lyney. Also Freminet would be nice to have too. And same goes for the rest of other characters I don't have yet. I love the backstory. Dark and good set up ngl. Also I kinda want to see subtle parallels between the traveler twins and the Fontaine twins. Like talking about a "what if my twin sister got taken from me" moment on the aquabus. I see you.

Mr. Childe Ed Sheeran Tartaglia. Is it just me or is he talking just a bit faster? It's been a while since I last encountered this man so I don't even remember lol. This guy tho. Trouble. Thats all. Also yay, character lore but in dialogue. I lowkey missed him.

As someone who can't with awkward scenes despite being sort of awkward irl, that entire scene with meeting Neuvillette killed me. I thought the silence was just it but the following scenes is staight up stabbing me more than is necessary. Wth was that Paimon lol. Not Traveler asking Paimon to chat for him. Also I feel like Traveler's journey is mainly him becoming more expressive with his face. Forget abt the overarching story and the new things, I check out updates to see what new emotion Traveler has now.

I love Navia! She caught my eye the first time with her design and her personality+story is everything to me. I can't see me using her much gameplay wise. I'm not that fond playing with geo characters and I've already got a good enough Itto but I would still love to have her.

The archon is killing me like I'm not gonna lie she gets in my nerves although she is entertaining. She's funny and I like that she actually appears to her citizens and have a sort of connection with them unlike the other archons so far lol. Like fr, hiding from citizens for the first two, Ei was a tyrant at one point and Nahida was kept away because of her own ppl.

Furina I feel is like acting like a teen in highschool sort of which kind of matches if I'm correct that she is second youngest among the Archons. Like Nahida is curious like the youngest, Zhongli giving old man vibes fr, Venti is the always drunk adult, and Ei being like almost middle child energy or the one that enjoys holing up in their room. Well that is with what we have among the archons. Dont know much with Tsaritsa tbh and I don't even remember Natlan's yet.

I kind of enjoy how Neuvillette gets to call the shots and is sort of babysitting the archon then again Diluc has to deal with Venti and we have Yae pushing Ei to socialize. Nahida is fine, in fact, she's the one babysitting Wanderer. Anyway, Neuvillette, he is great. He reels in his archon instead of blindly following and actually is sane. Like I like him a lot.

I love Fontaine so far. I can switch between that and Sumeru desert. They're opposites and I can deal with desert much better like this lol.

[108garys]

Resentment(the perfect shot)

@kassiekolchek22 @delurkr @mistmoose @lonnitamongus @maria-rayro @myscprin @ultrabananapudding @ivycross @ctrvpani

So I consider this to be more of a hypothetical than something that 100% happened in this au so if you you can't see this playing out this way it's all good(It's sort of edgy ngl)

Basically I wanted to do a little oneshot set during hoa exploring the idea of Charlie having to care for an injured Merwin who's chances of survival are no higher because of it(out here traumatising Charlie)

Warnings are: death, dry heaving(no actual vomit), blood

Charlie stared down at the bloodied man laying at his feet. Corporal Merwin had been nothing but rude to him since he set foot in camp slayer. He'd been rude to Clarice too, he couldn't understand what a guy like Joey saw in him.

Corporal Gomez was gone, twisted into a demon, Clarice was gone too and Charlie honestly wished it was Merwin instead; he'd been tasked with the man's care, minimising the impact on the marines combat readiness.

The Americans were investigating an old radio as a possible way out, Salim had 'escaped' and Charlie was expected to manage the cameras on top of babysitting the most irritating man he'd ever met. He resented it, resented that Nathan Merwin lived at all and the thought scared him.

He knelt down to check the man's injuries as if renewed enthusiasm for his wellbeing would erase the vile thoughts creeping at the edge of his mind. Removing gear, unclipping, unbuttoning, unbuckling, soon pealing back the layers to reveal the severity… Charlie wasn't a doctor but even he could tell that the man was dead weight, even if he attempted to patch him up there's no dragging him out of this hell.

The sound of gunfire startled him.

"Bloody hell! what are they doing!?" He tried to keep his voice down. They knew damn well the creatures react to sound, he trusts that Salim at least tried to relay that information to his people. He felt panic rising, what if they found him defenseless while the soldiers are off fighting their war?

Merwin mumbled drawing the journalist's attention back to the task at hand. Dead weight. He refused to die for this man, he could run if the creatures came. No one could blame him for that… Kolchek would and Charlie wouldn't wish that end on his worst enemy… Being torn apart by those monsters… It was too horrible.

Charlie smoothed his hand over Merwin's exposed chest, he swallowed with great difficulty already blinking away damned tears. The man's blood staining his hand before it came to rest over his heart, it beat at a steady pace, had this happened anywhere else he might have had a chance. He sniffled squeezing his eyes shut.

Merwin's heart beat and his own were all there was…

He jammed his fingers into the man's ribs, resulting in a pained gasp. He kept his eyes shut, running his other hand down Merwin's thigh, it was strangely intimate and indescribably wrong. He refused to look as his hand brushed against the handle of the marine's combat knife. It's cool surface grounded him, he couldn't hold back his tears any longer pulling the knife from its sheath. Gunfire sounded far off over his rapid pulse as he press the blade between the fingers that marked the quickest way to the man's heart-

"No… don't do that…" Charlie froze. Merwin mumbled trying to move his heavy body, clearly not truely aware of his situation. Charlie moved a hand to gently cradle Merwin's face making shushing sounds as he shifts his sore legs leaning over the older man. "It's okay, everything is going to be okay." he says to himself more than the other, Merwin's brows furrow. Charlie tightens his grip on the blade, wishing desperately that he'd never set foot in this country.

Before he could lose his nerve he leaned on the other man, pressing all his weight down on the knife. He clasped his other hand over Merwin's mouth, muffling a pained cry. He felt sick as the blade sunk into warm flesh. He looked at Merwin's shocked eyes, unable to look away until what little life left in them fade entirely…

"I'm sorry…" Charlie removed his shaky hand from the marine's mouth. He wanted to tell the dead man that it wasn't personal but would he have done it to Clarice? That scary part of his mind said no, he would've fought for her given the opportunity and Merwin was… He tried to shove it down as deep as he could but all he could hear was "an exceptable loss" he was sure the feeling had been mutual, sure some of the others felt that way about him too but… He wasn't like that! He didn't weigh lives, it was…

Tugging the blade free pushed Charlie over the edge and he began to dry heave, he turned away, knife still clutched in hand. He tried to breathe but his body kept trying to expel the disgusting feeling churning his stomach. He curled in on himself next to the dead man, coughing and retching. Desperate for it to stop.

When it was finally over he carefully sat up tossing the knife across the room, feeling it's absence he clasped his hands together like a man praying as he took deep breaths. He turned his attention back, he had to do it…

His fingers fumbled with buttons and buckles, it wouldn't be right to leave him like that. The Americans would shoot him on the spot. It was a hell of a time to notice the man's wedding ring, Charlie told himself firmly that he hadn't taken an unknown woman's husband away, his life was already over. You hated him…, when his work was complete Merwin looked as if he had succumbed to his injuries, unaware under sedation…

Charlie sat, legs tucked beneath him. Red handed, he thought about wipping his hands on his clothes or Merwin's. He couldn't bring himself to touch him again… The man's canteen would be the last thing he would give, he didn't need it anymore, thoughts of preserving drinking water were distant as he attempted to wash away the blood. When it was empty, his hands remained red from the harsh scrubbing, he kept telling himself it was the only way-

A commotion at the far end of the hall demanded his attention. The Americans were yelling. He weakly pushed himself to his feet, giving the bloodied man one last apologetic look, roughly wipping away his tears, praying that his sacrifice would be worth it…

[sebastienlelivre]

(we really turned goodbye into a game to a hobby) you collected bones but i buried the bodies (all this back and forth, well, it's feeling pretty sloppy) | pre-relationship buck/eddie, mentions of eddie/marisol and buck/tommy | hurt, no comfort, sorry | 2.7k words | read on ao3

Buck and Eddie finally talk, but it's about exactly nothing that they need to talk about. It's easier to dig into the hurt after all.

"Big date?" There is an edge in Eddie's voice when he calls out across the station, and it's that edge that makes Buck stop and move towards the gym area. Normally....normally he would laugh and toss a joke over his shoulder as he headed to the door, but things hadn't felt normal since he had told the team that he and Natalia had failed at couch-buying and Eddie had come to work talking about the great date he had had with Marisol, and Buck's heart had stuttered at Eddie's words for reasons that Buck hadn't been ready to examine. Hell, even now, he isn't sure he's ready to examine why knowing Eddie was happy with someone else made him feel like his heart was going to give out. Buck doesn't say anything as he moves into Eddie's workout space, but the question must have been on his face as Eddie gestures with one of the weights in his hands. "Clothes. You're not usually dressed up when you're leaving shift early." Eddie frowns, but then he shrugs, and his expression clears. "Usually it's an emergency, you don't even change." Buck huffs out a breath, glancing down at his clothes. "Oh. Yeah?" Buck says as he takes a seat across from Eddie, setting his duffle bag on the bench next to him. "Well, I mean, me and Tommy are meeting some of the guys from the 226, so it's not a date-date. I covered for Mason last week, so he owes me a half-shift so you know, might as well," Buck explains with a shrug because it wasn't a date, nothing with Tommy was really a date, it was fun, it was no-strings-attached, it was as close to real friends-with-benefits that Buck had ever been in, it was a distraction, and when Eddie just huffs at him, and there's a moment where it seems like he's mocking Buck and it sets everything in him on edge. "What?" Now there was steel in Buck's voice, and Eddie's eyebrow lifts when he looks up at him, and normally Buck would apologize immediately, the second that eyebrow lifted. Normally. Things haven't been normal in a month or more.

Buck keeps his gaze even, meeting Eddie's eyes until Eddie breaks first, shrugging as he looks away to put his weights down on the ground between his feet. "You two've gotten close, and he's not even working with this house anymore."

"We get along."

"You didn't." Buck blinks at him. "At first. You hated him."

"I hated you too, you might remember," Buck replies, and Eddie offers a smile that seems tighter than his usual ones. "Look, Chim's got a wedding to plan, Hen's got a new baby, you've got...." Buck coughs then, clearing his throat with a shake of his head. "You're got your girl. Between her and Carla, you don't even need me to babysit," Buck smiles, the expression just as tight as Eddie's. He shrugs. "I don't exactly have a ton of options, right? Might as well make friends with the new guy that I get along with."

"Buck, we still hang out...."

"When? Basketball a month ago? Yeah, that ended well," Buck laughs and shakes his head. "Did you know Chris texted me last weekend with pictures of the trip he went on to the zoo now that they've got everything remodeled from the blackout. You know. The one he went on with you. And Marisol." Maybe that is really the reason that Buck has his guard up, the reason Buck's words are sharper and more defiant than usual, the reason Buck didn't immediately ask Tommy to reschedule so Eddie wouldn't be on shift and he could come too. But Buck has never thought clearly when his feelings are hurt, and it definitely hurts to see Chris out with someone else doing the things he used to do with Buck, things that he and Chris had already made plans to do, to see his place in Eddie's life, in the family they'd.... Buck clears his throat and shakes his head again.

"You had a girlfriend a month ago, Buck," Eddie says, shaking his head. "You were a little too busy to hang out too. I seem to remember weekend plans being canceled to go to yet another furniture store."

"Technically at that point I was canceling weekend plans in the hope of salvaging a relationship, it didn't work, and you never asked me about it," Buck says, punctuating his statement with his finger, and Eddie's forehead creased in confusion as he shakes his head.

"You never said...."

"That I failed at a relationship again? Yeah. It's a boring story, and you never liked her anyway," Buck says.

"I didn't know her, Buck." Buck raises his eyebrows in a question at that. "You went on three dates with her, she runs away and doesn't respond to any attempt you make to try and contact her after, she comes back, and suddenly, you're sleeping together and buying couches."

"Mhm," Buck says, the sound coming out in a rush of air, "That sounds like you didn't like her, and you never said a word about that either, so why should I mention the relationship going down in flames. I don't need an I-told-you-so."

"I wouldn't have done that."

"No? You'd already lectured me about dating people we meet on calls, you warned me about it, why wouldn't you?"

"Technically I said 'women you rescued'," Eddie explains, and Buck laughs.

"Right, right, is that how you justify dating Marisol? Someone we met on a call?"

"We didn't rescue her, we rescued her brother, you were there, you should remember that," Eddie says.

"And we didn't rescue Natalia either, Marie was the one we were called for." Buck tilted his head. "You were there, you should remember that." Eddie gives him a look at that before he rolls his eyes. Buck waves away Eddie's expression and his own words. "It doesn't matter anyway. My relationship with Natalia didn't go down in flames because of how we met."

"At least you don't have to worry about that with Tommy, right? I mean, you still met him through work, but...." There's no real fight in Eddie's words, and he shrugs when he trails off like none of it is a big deal, and that just gets under Buck's skin again, igniting something that had been simmering, someone that could have burned hotter in a different way. If only.... Buck grits his teeth as he shakes his head.

"Are you mad that I have a friend or are you mad that we're fucking?" Buck's statement is sharp, and Eddie blinks at him, like this was brand new information, like he didn't know or didn't suspect or didn't expect Buck to lash out with that information, like he is better off not knowing. Any of those possibilities make Buck snort with laughter. "Don't act like you didn't know. Why should I keep it in my pants when I'm otherwise single, Eddie?" He shrugs. "At least my fuckbuddy isn't someone I met at the hardware store."

"You know nothing about how Marisol and I-...."

"I know enough, Eddie!" The force in Buck's voice startles them both, and he shakes his head. "You were searching for magic, like with Shannon, where you lost contact and then met up again, and suddenly you find Marisol in the glue aisle at The Home Depot, like, it's not hard to see what's happening." Buck snorted. "And you want to lecture me about my love life. At least I know I cling. I don't even know what you're doing." He does though, he can probably even put a name to it, but doing that would crack open his own chest and everything would come tumbling out.

"Why are we even fighting about this? There's nothing to be fighting about." Eddie's right. It's a stupid fight, but for some reason, that stings, and it makes Buck flinch back from it, that sudden hit of pain in his chest, but they were doing this, Buck can't back down now.

"You're right. There's nothing to fight about. You've got your happy wife, happy life to go home to in the morning, and I've got a date with my friend, and we'll probably fuck against the wall in the loft after, in case you were wondering," Buck replies, and he glances at the door. He needs to go, not because he's running late, they aren't meeting until 9, but he also doesn't want to have this conversation with Eddie, well, ever, but definitely not in the firehouse.

"I wasn't wondering, but thank you for that word picture, Buck."

"Payback," Buck says, turning his gaze back to Eddie, and he watches as his eyes narrow in confusion. He sighs. "First time you slept with Marisol, you gave me a fully detailed description of every sound she made as she came, twice, and I couldn't get out of that conversation fast enough." Hell, he'd still been with Natalia at that point, but everything felt like it had stopped then shattered. That probably should have been the first sign that things were going south in his own love life. He should not have felt despondent that his best friend had a girlfriend that he enjoyed being with. And yet.

"Do you want me to bring up everything you told me about Natalia? Or Taylor?" Once again, there's no heat, no force in Eddie's voice, it sounds like a hit back just because Buck had said something he probably shouldn't have. Buck makes a tired sound, suddenly needing a nap or a drink or to leave as fast as he could, and he rubs his fingers over his eyes. He hears Eddie exhale, before he says, "Maybe I shouldn't have...," he trails off and doesn't finish.

"Why wouldn't you? We're friends. It's what friends do." There's a chill settling into Buck's bones that has nothing to do with the temperature in the firehouse, and he shivers faintly as he pulls his coat tighter. He swallows. "You did it with Shannon, maybe if you actually enjoyed sex with Ana you would have overshared then too, it's not different." Except it was, hearing about either of those women wouldn't have ripped Buck to pieces.

Eddie is silent for a moment. "It feels different, though." Buck looks over at him before letting his eyes slide away. "So what changed?"

It is Buck's turn to be silent, and he swallows hard before he finally manages, "Nothing. Nothing changed." Which is the problem, isn't it? Buck suddenly feels like he's only just realized he is standing on the edge of a cliff, some precipice, teetering on the edge of....something, and he thinks...he thinks once upon a time, Eddie was there with him.

"Buck."

"Maybe something was supposed to change. After the shooting, maybe, the will," and Eddie looks away then, and Buck knows he's right. "Maybe if Taylor hadn't...or Ana...or...." Buck doesn't even know how everything could have changed.

"We were both single for a year after. Something could have...." It's Eddie's turn to sound tired, and his voice is sad, and Buck has the stupid urge to go to him. He clenches his fists to keep himself in place, digging his fingers into his palms, knowing his nails are leaving little half-moon marks.

"But it didn't," Buck replies.

"No," Eddie breathes, and he wipes his fingers over his forehead, wiping away the sweat that had to be cooling now that his workout had stopped. "I was terrified I was going to die alone, and you met Natalia." Buck shakes his head at that. "I didn't think that...that...." Eddie laughs again, but the sound actually makes Buck nauseous. "I didn't know you were, that men were, that I could even be...that we could...." Buck waits for him to continue, but when he doesn't, when he leaves everything unsaid just hanging in the air, Buck exhales.

"If you had said something...In the cemetery, if you had said something," Buck begins as he rises to his feet, shouldering his duffle, knowing he's running, and he doesn't finish that thought. Finishing that thought is a point of no return.

And Eddie has a girlfriend who takes his son to the zoo and the museum and fills that part of Eddie's life that had been Buck's.

And Buck has a...whatever Tommy is, a distraction that keeps his mind in the present and not on what-ifs, who still goes out drinking with the team, and fills that part of Buck's life that had been Eddie's.

Eddie takes a breath, not exhaling at first until all the air rushes out before he says, "How long was I supposed to wait, Buck? Because I was waiting, I was giving you space, and then you said that wasn't good enough." He stands up then, putting away his workout equipment not looking at Buck, until he glances over his shoulder. "You said I wasn't enough." He turns to face Buck then. "Was I supposed to wait after that?"

Buck closes his eyes, sharking his head. "You were supposed to argue with me." Eddie shakes his head, but Buck continues, "I needed an argument. I needed someone to tell me I was being stupid, but no one did, no one would, everyone, even you, was on eggshells around me. Maybe I would have reacted badly, thrown a fit, or something, but it would have been something. It doesn’t matter, though, does it? I’m still blowing up everything." Buck shrugs again. "Natalia, at least, talked to me."

"And how did that work out?" Eddie replies, and Buck rolls his eyes.

"I hide my true self from others, that was the one things I got from Doctor Copeland," Buck says, and Eddie speaks over him by adding, "Yeah, four years ago," and Buck raises his voice to speak over Eddie, "She left because I wasn't honest with her, no other reason. I hid how bad the calls were because she was happy thinking I was happy." Eddie laughs, then, but the sound is bitter and it makes Buck's skin crawl.

"You two fought over couches, Buck, that had nothing to do with your true self or whatever," Eddie says.

"What do you want me to say, Eds? Yes, it was a bad fit, yes, it was stupid to go shop for furniture when we hadn't even had three completed dates, yes, I clung because she came back and I know I shouldn't have put us both through that," Buck replies as he takes a step forward. "I was in the wrong."

Eddie closes his eyes and rubs his fingers over them before he says, "Have you examined why your girlfriends always leave?" The change in subject makes Buck pause, and Eddie blinks his eyes open at Buck, and for a moment, he just looks sad. "Why you always stay with the ones who run?"

"Well. It's not like I can control what they do." Buck chews on his lower lip as he looks around the room. "And technically. Tommy hasn't left." Eddie flinches at that. Buck can feel himself softening a little at that expression on Eddie's face, and he shakes his head. "Everyone else that I thought would never leave has already replaced me, so."

"Buck, you're no-...."

"No?" Buck lifts his eyebrows, and when he smiles this time, he knows it's not genuine and doesn't come close to reaching his eyes. "Have you taken Marisol to your lawyer yet?" Buck squares his shoulders as he looks at Eddie, who only appears like he's preparing to argue with everything Buck is saying, but Buck beats him to it, "Putting her in your will makes more sense, right? She's not a first responder, she won't be following you into every danger, every fire that could get you killed." Buck feels the sudden sting of tears in his eyes as he blinks, and he sniffs slightly. "She'll make a great mother. That ready-made-family you've always wanted." Eddie reacts at that, jerking back slightly, and Buck thinks he should take that as some kind of victory, but he's just suddenly sadder and colder.

Buck turns to leave, but Eddie stops him with a simple, "Buck," and he half-turns back to Eddie, still blinking back tears as he waits for him to continue. Eddie takes a deep breath before he finally says. "Have fun. With Tommy."

Buck nods. "Tell Chris to have fun at the planetarium tomorrow, Marisol's really going to love it." He heads toward the door then.

There's nothing more to say after all.