#ftm helps 2019

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[ranticore]

Ok so, what is Inver how can I read it gimmie the sales pitch pspsps pretty please

This is Inver! It is an alternate history northwest Europe

It's a play on the old region of Doggerland; the North-East Atlantic Archipelago* with sea levels reduced by a catastrophic past event that spread parts of the fairy world out into the real world. This Event also wiped out all human life in the area pictured above, leaving it uninhabited for hundreds of years before it was slowly settled again by people from the land bridge to Hibernia, and people coming up from Aquitan

As a result of a war between these two groups of people and subsequent cultural exchange, Inver's dominant culture is a Hiberno-French mixture. Br*tain does not and has never existed.

The Event in Inver's history has still left large swathes of this land uninhabitable, with the only way east blocked by the Ruad, a hostile, labyrinthine, and largely impassible fairy territory. This has stifled the ability of these lands to produce much of value; Inver is a poor country, considered a kind of industrial backwater with a monarchy descended marauding werewolf war clans. This paragraph could last literally forever if I liked (and I did like. that's why there's books)

Inver's Régian Era, roughly equivalent to the Victorian era irl, is the stage for my main book series Moth Viper Foal (#mvf) (links are to the books & the tag on my art blog). It is an era of great change in Inver; much of the capital city is ruled by criminal gangs and a foreign church while the great noble houses, having lost touch with their people, turn on one another for sport. The story follows the sequence of events that ultimately results in catastrophic change for everybody in the region, and the dawn of a new era (that's as vague as i can make it)

But really it's about the (gay) struggles of outgrowing your relationships, setting higher standards for yourself, and all the various ways someone can fail to be a man. Main (POV) characters are three ex-conmen & one DLC extra nobleman. Before the start of the story, a catastrophic argument between two of the guys precedes one of them (Félix) getting kidnapped by the Black Horse, a fairy. He is returned five years later, a servant of the horse, to find that his friends (and ex-friends) have changed completely in his absence, and his old life is done for good.

I'm very bad at summaries so idk really. It's a story about interpersonal drama and friend breakups between some guys and also fairies are there. It's all i think about. Every other setting & post on this blog not about Inver was made as a kind of mental break from thinking about Inver. I've been working on it since 2019

you can check the overall tag to see posts from both my blogs including some very nice art and some absolutely heinous AUs (Pern Story among them??? maybe. idk if i tagged it)

also there's two more stories set in Inver, Ancient Inver which is a telling of the wars that founded the country and also an exploration of Being FTM, and also Modern Inver which is set in the distant future of 2017 and it's a buddy cop/detective thriller about a ranger investigating a series of supernatural kidnappings with the help of the guy who did most of them.

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

❛ master list ❜

▬ last updated: 02.05.2024

♡ ▬ NSFW content (MDNI). | ☁ ▬ means it's angst. | ↺ ▬ means it's a WIP.

Yandere Original Characters ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Kim Seo-Yun x gn!reader | Kim Jeong-Hyun x gn!reader | drabble: ♡ "You make me feel like I am clean again"

Arcane (2021) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

VANDER x ftm!prostitute!reader: ♡ "You better lock your door and look at me a little more (we both know I'm worth waitin' for)"

Avatar (2009) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

。。。

Call of Duty (2022) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Konig x male!reader: ♡ "Oh, oh-oh"

Castlevania (2017) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

。。。

CREEPYPASTA FANDOM ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

multi!characters x incubus!reader | drabble: ♡ "Just wanna be one of your toys, tonight"

DCU ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

JASON TODD x male!reader: "You get me so high"

Dead by Daylight (2016) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

。。。

Jutjutsu Kaisen (2018) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

GOJO SATORU x male!husband!reader: ☁ "I WANT THE YOU WHO WANTS ME AGAIN" [1/3] ☁ "WHY AM I IN LOVE ALONE? (WHY AM I HURTING ALONE?)" [2/3] ☁♡ "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME (PLEASE DON'T FALL)" [3/3] ☁ alternate ending [AU] ☁♡ "YOU ALREADY HAVE A PIECE OF MY HEART (WHICH I HAVE NEVER GIVEN TO YOU)" | au's and what ifs drabble ↳ ❛ __ ❜ [playlist link]

poly!GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU x male!reader: ♡ "He's just like candy, he's so sweet"

poly!GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU x male!reader: ☁♡ "You know what sinners do when they love too soon (are you ready to die?)"

Hein Era!RYOMEN SUKUNA X concubine!ftm!reader X Heian Era!GOJO SATORU: ♡ "Darling, won't you just plead, or should I begin to bleed?"

α!FUSHIGURO TOJI X Ω!ftm!reader: ♡ "His heart is beating just for me (I can hardly breathe)."

one-sided!KENJAKU X concubine!ftm!reader | RYOMEN SUKUNA X concubine!ftm!reader: ♡ "life and death will always lead to love and regret (but you have the answers, and I have the key)"

Marvel ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

PETER PARKER x male!superhero!reader: "You're just making sure I'm never gettin' over you" [1/2] ♡ "Baby, you know that you won" [2/2]

My Hero Academia (2014) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

DABI (TOUYA TODOROKI) x ftm!reader: ♡ "Just like that, baby" [1/3]

DABI (TOUYA TODOROKI), TOMURA SHIGARAKI, TAISHIRO TOYOMITSU, SHOTA AIZAWA x ftm!reader: ♡ "Breathe through it" [2/3]

DABI (TOUYA TODOROKI), TOMURA SHIGARAKI, TAISHIRO TOYOMITSU, SHOTA AIZAWA, KEIGO TAKAMI x ftm!reader: ♡ "Good boy." [3/3]

Resident Evil (1996) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

ghostface!LEON KENNEDY x ftm!ghostface!reader: ♡ "Comin' back for more?"

Sally Face (2016) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

SAL FISHER x ftm!reader: ☁♡ "I was the boy who was on your side" SAL FISHER x ftm!reader: ♡ "I'll show you how we're supposed to feel (when we meet at Orion's belt)"

LARRY JOHNSON: ↺ ♡ "'Cause it's not a figure of speech, you got me down on my knees"

Slashers ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

COREY CUNNINGHAM x gn!reader: ♡ "Helping Hand"

multi. characters x transmasc!reader | dating drabble: "beautiful (darling)"

multi.characters x male!slasher!reader | dating drabble: "take my soul (need control)"

poly!BILLY LOOMIS & STU MACHER x male!reader: "Line of Sight"

poly!COREY CUNNINGHAM & OG!MICHAEL MYERS x gn!reader "Say yes to heaven (say yes to me)"

The Legend of Korra (2012) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

TONRAQ x male!reader ♡ "situation might get sticky, icky"

Teen Wolf (2011) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

MIECZYSLAW "STILES" STILINSKI x male!werewolf!reader: ♡ "Burn for you" DEUCALION x male!werewolf!reader: ♡ "Show Me How" [1/2] ♡ "Show Me How" [2/2]

The Walking Dead (2010) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

。。。

The Witcher (2019) ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

。。。

[blubushie]

how long did it take you to grow a beard on t? ive been on it 8 months and zero sign of facial hair yet :(

(Checks calendar) Uh... Four years.

I'm gonna assume you're FtM here for general ease, correct me if I'm wrong.

Please bear in mind that my being intersex HEAVILY skews things. I was kept at a VERY low dose of testosterone for those four years (14-18)—basically only enough to ensure I wouldn't get osteoporosis because of my missing ovary (which was removed at 14). I never got a bolus dose so my voice never deepened. My body remained more or less androgynous. At 17 I went to my own doctor in Georgia, took advantage of their intersexism and desire to "fix" me, and was placed on a low adult dose of androgel. I was on that for about 3 months to stabilise before being put on injected pellets for another 10 months, during which my beard grew in. I started getting peach fuzz by 3 months in which still on Androgel, by 6 months in I was growing a really shitty moustache. But it still wasn't a bolus dose, and while my voice deepened somewhat depending on how I position my tongue and whether or not I'm speaking with my chest, it did not drop.

I had my last testopel appt in February of 2019. Five months later my testosterone ran out and I haven't been on testosterone for 5 years since up until April of this year, when I went back on Androgel. I have a testopel appt in July.

I'm telling you this so you understand that my experiences heavily skew my history and success with testosterone. My body had been slowly masculinising for three years until I got put on a higher dose, which basically jump-started the facial hair cycle, and since then my beard has had five years to figure out its schtick (though it's starting to fill out more now that I'm at a high adult dose again).

Really, you need to look elsewhere. Are you noticing a difference on T? Any bottom growth? More body hair? Is it affecting your voice? Is your body fat redistributing to a masculine pattern? How's your libido? Are you getting new acne anywhere?

If these things haven't changed in 8 months, then your T levels are too low. If they have, then don't worry. Think of how long it took your body to feminise during puberty. Couple years, right? It's probably gonna take about that long for T. Cuz all things considered, you are going through puberty again.

Also, genes have got a LOT to do with it. If a lot of your ancestral history is Native American, East Asian (especially Chinese), or Mexican, you probably won't grow much of a beard or chest hair. Bonus points to that though—if you're any of these, you probably won't experience much male pattern baldness either.

With time—and the right dose—it all comes down to genes. My dad can grow a full beard, I can grow a full beard, my dad has a full head of hair at 75, I have a full head of hair. No clue about my mum's side because she's adopted and we don't know who her birth parents are, so the jury's still out on whether or not my hair stays as I get older.

Just be patient, mate. It'll come to you in time. And if it doesn't, bring it up to your doctor if testosterone isn't doing anything to your body, cuz it means you either need a higher dose, or your body is converting your testosterone to oestrogen. Best way to check that? Get a blood test for testosterone.

Chookas! Here if you need me.

Also, protip: if/when you grow a beard, if you choose to grow it out long like Kratos or some shit, it WILL be patchy. There's no helping it. Massage your jaw because applying pressure to your follicles stimulates growth (males grow facial hair to protect against impact during fights since jawbones break easily—massaging the places where you want growth stimulates your follicles to grow more hair to protect against impact). And also just... Don't cut it. Beards are naturally kinda patchy, but at a certain length they fill out. So don't shave! That thing you hear about shaving promoting hair growth? That's bullshit! Just massage! (This works for anywhere you grow hair btw! Yeah even your scalp! But it will not reverse male pattern baldness.)

[pinheadspinhead]

Introduction Post :)

Hello!! Please call me X. I'm a trans gay man and pretty much only attracted to transmascs. My pronouns are he/him. I've been on T since 2019 and got top surgery in 2024.

I post usually about tying someone up and sucking dick. I post quite a bit about cnc and use the f slur pretty commonly, but I will tag everything in case anyone doesn't want to see it. (list of tags under the cut)

I am also in a committed monogamous relationship, so I will not answer dms

DNI + List of kinks and tags below :^)

DNI

Cis people please do not interact.

Anyone I see in my notifications who does not have an age over 18 in their bio or an introduction post will be blocked. Blogs that say "adult/over 18/etc." will be blocked. Blogs that say "20s" will also be blocked. ("30s" and up are fine tbh. don't really expect a teenager to lie abt being that old).

I've gotten a few systems in my notifications. I would at least like the host's age or the alters' running the accounts ages in the bio as well as alters that are minors not interacting when possible.

Minors are welcome to browse, I think it's fine to look at porn in safe and responsible ways, but please DO NOT like or reblog my posts, send me asks or dms, or follow this blog. You are welcome to view my blog as long as you do not appear in my notifications. If you do view my blog, I encourage you to seek out resources like contraceptives and education on things like aftercare and BDSM safety. Also, please keep in mind that this is blog is not a good representation of sex.

Blogs centered around non-sexual age regression please don't interact. No hate, I would just prefer not to see littles in my porn notifications.

Men DNI blogs. I am a man and I would really appreciate not being put on sapphic blogs as a trans man, thank you.

Harry Potter fans stay away from me your favourite author wants me dead or in prison and i think you're ridiculous for caring more about books than people. I will block you without even thinking about it.

People who openly post about ED or SH. Please seek help. The communities you are in are very harmful to yourself and others and they are absolutely not indicative of any sort of popular beliefs. This content is extremely triggering and I absolutely will not tolerate it if I see it.

There are also certain kinks and fetishes that make me a little uncomfortable and I would appreciate if blogs centered around those fetishes do not interact with me. These include:

Ageplay

DDLG

Feederism

Chasers

Detransition/Fakeboy

Dom men who post extensively about violent fantasies involving women

(This list may grow over time)

An Incomplete list of kinks I enjoy:

Bondage/Rope Play/Gags

Monsterfucking & Vampires

Priests lol

Pirates, Cowboys, Period Clothes

Mugging/Kidnapping Fantasies

Choking/Impact Play

CNC

Degrading

Threesomes/Orgies/Gangbangs/Spitroasts

Intoxication

Free Use

Dry Humping

Exhibitionism

Knifeplay

Tags

I tag everything with the same few generic tags. I only really tag for the sake of content warnings in case there's something someone doesn't want to see. I don't tag my content warnings without "ftm" in front of them because I do not want cis people interacting with me.

Ftm Intox

Ftm Cnc

Ftm Free Use

F slur

Ftm Knifeplay

That's all for now :) I'll update this post as I think of more things :)

[rybonucleic-ket]

uhh Richie Tozier (for the ask thingy)

sexuality: well. he's canon gay in 2017/2019, but I think he's really super incredibly bisexual in all other forms of canon so. bicon richie.

gender: male, he/him, occasionally I love me some ftm richie depends on my mood.

ships: bichie, reddie, stozier

brotp: bevchie. they're bestest friends.

notp: I mean. idk. I'm pretty cool with richie with any of the losers. ig the obviously fucked up ones that some really fucked up people apparently ship (i.e. pennywise or bowers x any of the losers)

random hc: richie's hella adhd so when they get to high school, stan writes out a study system for him to be actually productive and all the losers do their best to help him with it

overall opinion: relatable. funny. love this douchebag

(ask game here)

[dizzybizz]

ok i need someone elses (especially- but not exclusively- other afab autistics, cis or trans) thoughts on this shit cause im losing my goddamn mind i just have so many feelings about gender and its fucking me up

ok so.

ive always sorta felt disconnected with my gender and i dont think me being autistic helps with it either. what with trying to pinpoint feelings and all that being hard. and it has i guess planted a lot of doubt surrounding my thoughts and feelings about my own gender in my mind. i question if everything im feeling is just bc im autistic. which is why im making this post!! i just need some outside perspectives and thoughts and i guess i want to know that im probably not alone in my struggles with this.

idk how i wanna structure this post but ill just write down the things that come to mind.

like before i hit puberty i was not into the idea of it at all. and before i had considered the fact that i might be trans, i thought it was just because i didnt like the thought of change. and i think thats normal, being hesitant about puberty.

BUT uhm. now im not religious. but i vividly remember praying to god that i would at least be as late a bloomer as possible. if not, never ever going through afab puberty. and i always felt more inclined towards amab puberty, and i thought it was a MUCH better deal than whatever afab puberty was going to do with me.

and i feel really silly writing this cause that does not sound like something a normal cis girl would do or think... and i feel quite confident in me being not cis. but i guess this is just a post to seek some validation in my suspicion and feelings. but i also want to know if it is an experience others share.

my gender thoughts as i call them have been particularly prevelant since 2019, thats when i think i first started contemplating whether i might just actually be trans. at that time i believe it was more towards the non binary, but nowadays its ftm

and i just idk. im kinda lost and lonely here, i havent talked about with any family members which are the people i spend most of my time with currently. i wanted to get the perspective of people who are also autistic and might relate to the gender feelings and yeah

and ok no sorry, jumping back, cause its always at its worst before and during shark week (like right now :)) and that has also thrown me off quite badly

cause what if its just pms, or just some kinda hormone imbalance or some shit like that. am i crazy cause sometimes i feel like im driving myself mad with this stuff. is it common to have really intense thoughts about gender anytime your period is about to kick in.

also growing up with a younger brother (who also has a whole ass army of guy friends) when you have these thoughts is fucked up ngl who allowed this. youre telling me he gets to just get that puberty for free. fucking hell wtf

sorry i lost it pls just idk tell me your thoughts wherever, replies, i think im turning off reblogs for this but, my inbox or dms anything ok thanks so much, means the world

[orion-lacroix]

Since I'm almost done with Avalon's Child first draft, I need help choosing which WIP to start in parallel, from the sea of idea I have written in my document of idea. Just so I can start the planning :

Here's are the option I have narrowed it down to:

1) The other side of the Waterfall:

A group of college students & their teacher go for a weekend trip of canoë camping and after crossing a weird path end up in an alternate world

2) The crown on my head, the scars on my chest

Trans ftm king runs away from his duty to become a pirate and transition through the best of the means at that time (historical fantasy with merfolks)

3) How to steal from an academy:

Group of low-level theifs pull a heist to steal money from a dragon academy, leaves with dragons eggs that hatched. They must learn to grow as better people and protect the dragons hatchlings

Fantasy

4) To doom the future

Story that pans on 24hrs, disorganized telling with the end of the world happening in the first chapter.

Apocalyptic dystopian

5) Alexandria's apprentice archivist

Being a scribe of Alexandria is a high standing job, but a lonely one spent doing nothing but copying down knowledge, follow the new apprentice as he navigates the job and his feeling of loneliness

Sci-fi historical fantasy

6) Mote it be:

Follow Zephyr, a witch that tries to blend in as the witch hunt is ongoing and as a plague strikes the area near where she lives and as she develops a friendship with the priest of her town.

7)The protectors of Arania

Vera is a strange girl that doesn't fit in her village, her adoptive parents see her as nothing more than their heir and under an eye patch she hides mismatched eyes, seen as a bad thing in her village. When a strange evil attacks her village she must face the truth about who she is and fight the dragon that turned her village and many more to stone. (First draft started in 2019 in french)

8) The morning fog

Querr found family, a few people live in a lighthouse as weird events happen, they must keep each other safe from what comes from the fog of the sea.

[trans-trender]

Help me get on T

Hello tumblr,

I need to get on testosterone or I will go insane im sure you understand.

But I'm poor and I'm disabled and I have no income aside from the very occasional art commission. I can't afford any healthcare certainly not hrt. So I'm starting a gofundme to hopefully help pay for about the first year on Folx health.

Any donations would be highly appreciated! Please reblog if you can to get the campaign in front of more people it really helps and means a lot! Thank you!

[rayeim0gen]

For the first time in my life, it actually feels like my own.

My (33 r/mtfbutch) parents had way more influence on my 20s than they should have, and as a result I have a lot of regret and resentment that’s largely directed at them.

It wasn’t until my mom died and I used some of the life insurance money to travel Europe for a few months.

I know it’s cliché, but I “found” myself over there.

I came home with so much new confidence that I started letting myself explore crossdressing for the first time.

After my partner called me an r/egg, I started to honestly ponder if I was trans. I came out Pride week 2019.

That partner and I broke up just as the world was going into lockdown.

I just celebrated 3.5 years HRT.

To say I’ve been through some shit since coming out would bean understatement.

Almost a year ago now I met my girlfriend, a masc enby. We uhaul’d at 6 weeks, adopted a cat at 7 weeks, and now, on the precipice of our 1 year anniversary, we’re looking to adopt a second cat.

We’ve both came so far in the past year. My first butch4butch relationship, and my healthiest one ever. We’re both aspec.

Through everything, including having my life wiped out and starting over, I’ve stayed true to myself. I got even weirder, actually.

I’ve settled so well into being a butch lesbian. I use it/its pronouns (r/voidpunk). I shaved my head amd eyebrows at the beginning of the year. I’ve gotten 3 new tattoos so far this year, 2 on my neck, and the back of each hand. I stretched my lobes to a 00 gauge, and finally swapped my piercer studs and rings in my nose to flashier pieces.

I forget I’m even trans most days. “I’m not a boy, I’m not a girl, I’m a butch dyke”. I misgender myself and call myself a trans guy frequently (Dyke + trans must mean ftm).

I’ve put on an unknown (our scale died and neither of us want to replace it) amount of weight since being put on new medication back in January.

Half my wardrobe doesn’t fit anymore. I’ve had to replace a good chunk of my summer wardrobe. Very little of the feminine clothing I bought early on still fits.

But since being in a b4b relationship, I’ve lost interest in being feminine anyways. The weight I’ve put on has all but eliminated my (fairly defined) hips, which ironically helps me feel MORE female. I have a bit of a tummy now.

But DAMN have I been feeling myself lately. I check myself out in mirrors. For the first time in my life, I like what I see looking back at me. I’ve gone back to mainly wearing my old mens wardrobe, with an exception for sports bras and leggings

This is the most “mine” my life has ever been. I have the best girlfriend ever, and her family adores me. We’ve built a wonderful life together. Everything I own I’ve purchased in the past year, most of it to furnish our apartment together.

I’m not struggling to maintain a standard of life that I couldn’t sustain.

My life is mine for the first time ever. My future is screwed as I navigate all the damage that has been caused to my life in the past few years. It’s bleak as fuck. But at least I’ll be facing it the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my skin, as a proud and very weird it/its pronouns r/mtfbutch, with my awesome girlfriend and soon to be two kitties at our sides.

[getyourdirtyhandsoffme]

D-RIDING?! PART ONE

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

GENDER: FTM READER

SUMMARY: You are quite a popular YouTuber who makes random content for your fans to enjoy until one day you got drunk and "accidentally" posted a tweet in your official account making it go viral for not only the world to see, but even a certain idol you had a crush since 2019.

GENRE(S): Comedy, Fluff, A bit explicit (in part one), hurt/comfort a bit

WARNING(S): Didn't really proof read it or use a Grammer site to fix anything. If I got anything wrong well..ill fix it when I'm not tired (or not). If you haven't seen any BuzzFeed's thirst tweets, you have been warned. The reader is going through every stage of grief. Mentions of drinking, you being drunk, mentions of "Dick Riding", a few of thirsty comments. You're getting called "Pretty Boy." Explicit comments but nothing action, yet. You are a bottom (sorry y'all!) Kinda cringe. You fanboying non-stop.

CAREER: Idol-Bang Chan (26) + Youtuber-Y/N (25)

OTHER(S): all edited by me. Chan has a private channel but he did reveal his YouTube account in this story. Ethan, Antione and SanaVana are your best friends.

Some mistakes on the edits as well but wtv

Please reblog, like or/and comment!

(We are going to pretend this is around SKZ LALALA Era, thank you very much! Not restarting the edits!)

You couldn't believe your eyes when you opened Twitter (Or X...) As you see thousands of notifications of a certain post you made when you were drunk with your friends at a birthday party.

You felt yourself wanting to scream but all you could do is stare in shock, having your mouth hanging a bit while reading the comments stating that your idol, Bang Chan from StrayKids, read your tweet.

Not in private, but apparently he finally accepted an interview with BuzzFeed to read Thirst Tweets.

Since when did he have the balls to do that?

You groaned as you even saw the hashtags that were trending: #YnnityD-RIDE #BangChanThirstTweets #BuzzFeedBangChan #YnnityMoment

You honestly wanted to cry because you didn't know how to face your fans when you make a live stream later. You promised the fans that you were going to play that one horror game that your fans have been requesting.

At this point, you thought about just cancelling it while disappearing. Dramatic but you couldn't help it.

The Bang Chan read your tweet.

Well, you never saw the video and honestly you didn't want to. You found out that your tweet was not only read but even edited into the thumbnail with Bang Chan fine ass self beside it from a friend's screenshot.

You were mentally regretting this while weeping but you didn't want to disappoint your fans from a promise you made so you calmed yourself as you got ready to Go Live.

You place your mouse pad down and then connect a few wires into your computer. You went to your channel as you Go Live, with a title going by "Gaming and reacting to a certain video."

Just by that title, everyone immediately clicked the live.

You sat there, nervously biting your lip out of habit while fixing yourself in front of the camera.

You even waved to everyone while trying not to seem like you about to trust fall on top of a building.

"As you may see from this title, you probably know what certain video I'm going to watch, yes?"

Everyone commented "yes" while a few sent question marks but other than that they are curious of what the video is and my reaction.

"I didn't see the video yet but I immediately clicked on the app, saw my notifications, saw what's trending and even a screenshot from my friend. I am crazy embarrassed. I was drunk and the fact that she saw me tweeted this is the most crazy part. I knew she was my enemy since DAY ONE!" You shouted a bit at the end, joking but honestly not really as you make a dramatic 'number one' finger in front of the camera.

"Anyways, I already got it set up, just let me know if you guys can hear it or not..."

You mentally screamed as you tried to click on the video but you were so hesitant that the fans called you out on it.

"Y'all, we got it! Hold up, I'm just scared of how he is going to react! Ahhh!" You grabbed your forehead as you finally clicked on it.

You watched as Chan nervously laughed at the camera while introducing himself with his hot Australian accent. You felt yourself smiling as you tried not to fanboy just by his introduction.

"Ah, Hello everyone and my lovely stays! My name is Bang Chan, the leader of StrayKids, you can even call me Chris, and today...I'm finally reading your crazy thirst tweets. I don't know how I mentally agreed to this but I am curious so let's get started shall we, BuzzFeed?"

Chan chuckles nervously as he holds a plastic container full of thirst tweets.

You commented how cute he was while admiring him, ignoring slightly at your fans chat box, even not noticing a certain someone has joined your live stream and even commenting as well making the chat go crazy as they try to grab for your attention.

You continue on watching, make a few comments on the thirst tweets, stating that you agreed with half of the tweets he was reading while cooed on his blushing face:

"I want to ride his big nose"

"I wonder what else is big besides his nose, feet and butt if you know what I'm saying"

"I want that man to manhandle me so bad, it's not funny anymore."

"I want him to fuck me so bad! Uhhh PLEASE DADDY!"

You couldn't help help but laugh at a few, almost forgetting that your tweet was in this video until finally, almost at the end of the video, he pulls the last strip of paper and reads:

"Dick Riding? Yes I am. I'm jumping, hopping, creaming, screaming and latching...onto this man dick until we can't anymore. And in parentheses. We not stopping."

Chan covers his face while laughing as he re-reads the tweet again.

"Jeez, this person really must have that much energy to be going in several rounds. Not only that, this person is verified...how confident you are to send this in your official account. Not gonna lie, I feel like I know who this is..."

He squints as he tries to remember.

"I'll probably figure it out later but thank you! I don't think I have enough energy for that but we can try, yeah? Haha!"

Your eyes wide as you literally scream, jumping around and running around the room then stop running as you walk back, rewatching that clip again.

"Wait, he knows me? HE RECOGNIZES MY ACCOUNT- WAIT WHOA!" That's when you sat down on your gaming chair, literally looking like you were about to sink into the floor as you make your eyes focus on the chat that seems to be spamming non-stop.

You lean in, reading the chat as you questioned them what's wrong until you notice a channel you recognized. Of course who wouldn't recognize it, you literally have a crush on him.

The one and only Bang Chan was watching your live.

At this point, you just accepted your fate as you face palmed yourself as more comments started laughing at you.

"Om my goodness, this cannot be real. Ain't no way you are watching this stream..." You nervously said as you see him commented how cute you were.

You smiled as you started to fanboy again.

"This is so embarrassing you guys!"

Time went by as you ended your live stream. You immediately grabbed your phone and laid down on your bed as you opened Twitter (X) to see Bangchan following you.

You followed him back immediately which I guess it got his attention as he immediately texted you.

CB97: Hey, Y/N! It's nice to finally meet you, well through text that is, haha!

Ynnity: I can't believe you not only read my tweet and joined my live, you even FOLLOWED ME IN HERE!? You must be crazy!

CB97: Of course, I even have you subscribed and followed your Instagram on a private account!

CB97: And crazy? Aren't you the crazy one who sent a tweet on your official account stating you wanted to, and I quote, "Jump, hop, cream, scream, and latch onto my dick non-stop" pretty boy?

Ynnity: HELLO?

CB97: Haha, I'm just saying. Plus, you're funny so why not become friends. I'm quite a big fan of you!

You stared at his text, mostly the part when he called you a "Pretty boy" made you roll around the bed, giggling like a damn school girl. Even surprised that he was a big fan, making even more embarrassed since you always mentioned him in certain videos.

Ynnity: Sure!

Ynnity: hope you don't mind how awkward I'm going to be for a bit..I'm still embarrassed.

CB97: That's fine! I don't mind and there isn't anything to be embarrassed about baby, it's cute how you reacted

CB97: You really do love me, huh? Hahaha

You rolled your eyes as you typed your response.

Ynnity: yeah yeah whatever

CB97: Acting like that even though I literally watched your live stream and saw you admiring and commenting my every move

CB97: Anyways, I read a few of your tweets and one caught my eye

CB97: well, besides that thirst tweet, that's my fav-

CB97: That you are going to see our concert, yeah?

All you did was send a 'thumbs up' emoji, indicating that it was true that you saved up money to be in front row seats to see SKZ performance on the 3rd day.

CB97: Cool! Can't wait to see you in person! However, I need to get back to work, I'll talk to you...well you text me when you are up! Bye bye, pretty boy!

YNNITY: don't overwork yourself old man and yes bye bye to you as well!

You laughed when Chan sent a 'thumbs down' emoji as you turned off your phone, smiling again at the ceiling. You couldn't believe it, you can't wait to go to their concert in three days.

Two days have already passed as you already got dressed up for this concert.

Today is the 3rd and last day of their performance.

You are wearing a black waist coat where your belly and other skin is showing along with a leather black jacket, baggy black pants with a nice star belt around It, a spikey silver necklace and black shoes.

You brought a coat just in case it gets cold as you took pics and uploaded it onto Twitter (X), feeling cute.

You rolled your eyes at your friend's immediate response to your tweet as you walked out of your house, stepped into your car as you get ready to pick up the three dorks.

While driving to their destination, you couldn't help but think about what Chan texted you yesterday.

He is excited to see YOU.

You were biting your lip as you tried to not show a smile when you picked up Antione and apparently Ethan who were standing outside of Antione house, waiting.

They both ran inside, Antione taking the front row while Ethan sit in the back.

You then drove off again to pick up Savannah while the two teased you non-stop about getting noticed by your so called 'Future Husband' which they did stop after you threatened them that you will crash this car if they don't shut up.

You finally picked up Savannah who was excited to see StrayKids, mostly seeing all the pretty lady fans as she comments about wanting to see this one girl that she has been texting the last 5 months.

You laughed with your friends, easing your anxiety down. You all couldn't wait to go while singing, well trying to sing, the songs on the radio.

You all made it into the concert, immediately at the front seat, waiting for the concert to start. Antione had his banner ready, holding a sign that says "Changbin, date me!"

Ethan holds up a LeeBit Plushie, shaking it around while holding a picture of Lee Know next to it.

Savannah holds a sign that just says "The Lesbians (Me) loves you!"

You did think about bringing a sign but all you brought was yourself and friends along with a small Wolfchan keychain hanging around your belt area.

A bunch of fans have showed up—some recognized you as they asked to take pictures, which of course you said yes, taking a few while waving them goodbye. Even Savannah gets to meet the woman that she was talking about, laughing and flirting a bit.

As all of you continue on chattering while the whole stadium gets filled with a bunch of fans, the screens turn on showing a special StrayKids clip, showing all the members walking and posing.

Everyone screams along with you and your friends as well as you see them rising up from below the stage, into positions, ready to perform Megaverse.

You smiled, jumping a bit as the loud music started playing along with fans chanting.

You took out your phone as you started to record while singing some of the lines.

Throughout the whole concert, you and Chan were flirting around when he found you while performing Blind Spot.

He couldn't help but smile in your direction while giving you small hearts. He even goes up to you sometimes, singing a few lines—teasing you—as he walks off.

Even your friends teased you about it, again.

The concert was about to end, your whole body was practically tired from all the screaming and standing up for too long but it was worth it.

All the members lined up as they all said their thankful speech, waving all of them goodbye and couldn't wait to see their fans again next time.

You and your friends left as you forced Ethan to drive since you were so tired.

You were sitting in the front row while Antione and Savannah talked amongst themselves, sometimes Ethan joining in. While that was happening, you open Twitter to see a bunch of notifications again.

Some @ you, showing pictures with your fans along with pictures or videos of you having a moment with Chan.

You smiled as you liked all of them until you got a text from Chan, you clicked the message notification and read what he has sent you.

CB97: Hey, did you enjoy the concert?

CB97: Also you look very handsome with that outfit, very alluring.

You giggled quietly as you quickly replied to him.

Ynnity: of course I enjoyed the concert and thank you! I did say I was trying to attract people in my tweets~

CB97: You did.

CB97: You even got me as well, that one comment from your friend made me laugh that you wanted to be in my Dingie Doom Dum haha!

Ynnity: Well, what if I do? What you going to do about it hm?

Not sure where all that bravery came from but you did it. You waited for him to respond as you did see him trying to type something.

CB97: Well aren't you a brave one.

CB97: why don't you find out. I'll come to you unless you are just trying to flirt. I don't mind as long as you don't mind, love

CB97: I can make that thirst tweet into reality~

You froze as Ethan made it to his house. Seems like you were the only one left as you both stepped out, hugged each other and left.

You stepped back into your car, turning it on and drove off. You wanted to respond, but you didn't want to drive while text so you kinda drove home as fast as you can, feeling yourself getting too excited.

When you made it home, you quickly parked as you stepped out of the car and ran to the front door of your house, unlocking it.

You took out your phone again and responded to him.

Ynnity: Sorry, I was driving

You hesitated for a bit even though you were the one who started it until you finally typed out what you wanted to say.

Ynnity: I don't mind, but how are you supposed to get here? You rented a car?

You took off your shoes, placing them on a shoe rack as you take off your clothes while walking to your bedroom.

You dumped your clothes in a laundry bag, opening the closet to grab your pajamas then walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

Your phone buzzed. You grab and see what he has said.

CB97: I did actually.

CB97: Send me your location, I will be there after I take a shower

You bit your lip as you sent your location, turning your phone off after that.

You step inside the shower, feeling the nice warmth of water hitting your skin as you fantasize about Chan kissing you and touching you.

You wanted this and the fact it's with your idol crush turns you on. You couldn't wait as you continued on taking a shower.

TO BE CONTINUED...

PART ONE -> PART TWO

I never wrote smut before 🐺 this sht gonna be crazy. I'm about to fight for my life.

[orthorexwolfie]

WOLVES' BIO

• TWs at bottom of post, under 'Disclaimer' section, written in purple •

I'm in my 20's, reside in USA, and I'm trying to get back on track after a massive binge episode.

ABOUT ME •

I'm a binary transman and have been on hormones since 2019.

420, INFP-T, loves animals, books, gaming, journaling, organizing, cleaning, spending time with my fiancé and polycule. Spent 2 years studying to become a veterinary technician, but had to drop out in the last semester.

I've been really obsessed with League of Legends lately. I also play modded Stardew Valley and modded Sims 4. I'm also Pokémon-obsessed and have been since age 7.

DIAGNOSES •

Orthorexia Nervosa, Autism, BPD, Gender Dysphoria, severe Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, severe Rejection Dysphoria

ED RELATED •

HW: 172lbs | LW: 119lbs | UGW: 88lbs

CW: 136.2lbs...

OTHER •

For now, I'm keeping my account pretty private, but the type of content I follow should be pretty obvious: orth0, malesp0, pr0ana, m3ntal h3alth. As I explore Tumblr more and get more comfortable, I may remove the private restrictions. Don't wanna get nuked by Tumblr though.

DISCLAIMER •

At the end of the day, this is my account, so I can post whatever I want. Don't like it? You don't have to follow.

TW: pr0ana, possible s3lf harm, cruel thoughts, fatph0bia, talk of dysphoria + talk of being ftm, transmedicalism.

You have been warned.

⛧ logs ⛧

helpful links -

[faellschtizz]

Getting Unstuck

I’m back after a long time, as evident by me posting maybe half an hour ago.

I’ve move slightly towards embracing my gender, which itself is still a bit beyond my understanding. To recap, in 2019 I figured out than being a man is making me completely fucking miserable and instantly started to self id as a woman. That lead inot a great depression when I figured out it ain’t as easy as calling my psychiatrist and asking for hormones. I’ve come out to friends in next months and dropped out of masters studies bc of the stress and mental health being nuked. I’ve met my now boyfriend at a trans meetup, got a job again and moved in iwith him. Then, time started passing and things didn’t change much, if at all.

At first a year was gone due to covid. I was supposed to have my first gender psychologist appointment on the day the lockdown started and had to wait almost another year. The psychiatrist send me to the psychologist, who at first I was FtM, shich made me happy. Again due to covid, the clinic was temporarily using the spaces of an addiction clinic, which the psychologist used as an excuse to get me tested (I did tell her I was using weed but she still wanted the test). Bc I was positive, like I told her I’m gonna be, she decided to stop my evaluation mid session and told me get clean.

I didn’t, that was too much. So I’ve put transition on a side track and tried to lvie on. My list was come out to parents (I’ve wrote about how it went with dad already), upgrade my job or at least make progress on my masters, and try to figure out if transitioning would trully help me.

Thus, I’ve lost next 3 and a half years to fear, froze completely, only degraded my relationship with family and my mental health slowly eroded as I started smoking more and more weed.

Finally, something happened this year. One of my smoking buddies had to quit weed to get a new job and he managed with only slightly terrible replacement. Another was forced to confornt his demons after almost giving up on living. And my bf gave an ultimatum to do something. These are all events worth their own stories, but I’m not going on another tangent here.

So, I had a window to try and change some habits. I wrote to the gender spychologist, who told me she’s ok with me transition as long as I’m clean over email (let’s ignore she never actually finished my evaluation). She also sent me to the gender psychiatrist, who said he’s gonna let me pass is I pass a drug test.

While I don’t quite understand that, it finally gave me the motivation to go off weed, now it’s been over 3 weeks. I think I should be clean next week when I’m meeting him next. After my last appointment I told my parents I’m transitioning. Wasn’t much of a coming out, mostly just straight up told them I’m gonna get on HRT and that I’m using a new name and pronouns she/her now. They tried to push me back into the closet first and then told me how unexpected that was.

In conclusion on this extra long wall of text, I got a couple of steps further towards starting HRT, came out to parents fully, and quit using weed cold turkey, motly bc my bf wanted me to do something. Now I’m happier, way more productive and completely hyperactive all the time. I’m so tired from overworking myself, overwalking the dog and overdoing the dishes. And today, the previous post happened.

I don’t know if I’m able to cope with it all much longer. I’m tired but cannot rest, I’m doing all I can but get little support back.

[chargekerlon]

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[iowagreys]

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