Tumgik
#fuck up and everything but i'll never be anything you ever want me to be!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT MR THE NATIONAL !!!!!!!
Note
This might be bad but could you write a Steve Harrington story where he left the reader for nancy after they were secretly dating bc she’s plus sized. Then once he cleans up his act he writes her a letter. I was thinking it could be based on closure by Taylor Swift! Thank you !
Closure
This isn't bad ! I can totally do that. I listened to the song for the first time today so I hope you like this! Also, This is going to be a two part piece. I wanted to give some background context so that's what this first part is about. I'll be working on part 2 soon. I hope you don't mind.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x plus size!reader
Warnings: I'm not a basketball player nor have I ever been a manager. Honestly I've never really been to a basketball game so I'm not sure if this is all super accurate. Pls let me know. Cursing, Use of Y/N, use of the word girl, some self doubt.
Summary: You never knew Steve could be so shallow. When he leaves you to date Nancy Wheeler, you're left with a pain you thought he'd never leave cause you. Maybe you should've stayed friends.
*Not Proof Read* Stranger Things Masterlist
*****
Teenage love. Powerful. Fast. Fun. Potent.
The first boy I fell in love with was Steve Harrington. How couldn't I have? His perfect hair. Beautiful eyes. His flirty smile.
Every girl liked Steve at one point or another.
Steve and I grew up together in Hawkins. We never had the same classes together, but boy, I knew of Steve. We finally officially met in high school when I became the manager for the Hawkins High Basketball team.
Freshman Year - 1981
" Alright guys, huddle up. " Coach Ryan shouts to the sweaty boys drilling around the gym. " This is our manager. You will treat them with respect, you hear? I want none of that bullshit that went on last year. You got that Seniors? " Coach Ryan sends a pointed look at the upperclassmen. " If I hear of anyone disrespecting our manager, you'll be running on bleachers for the next month. I'm serious. "
What an introduction.
I shift slightly, a little uncomfortable with the gazes of the boys. I send a small smile to the team, trying to calm myself. " Hey, guys. Let me know if you need anything. " I scan the group in front of me. My eyes land on a familiar face on the back row. His friendly smile sends a wave of butterflies fluttering throughout my body. My eyes linger on him for a few seconds before I force myself to look away.
The last thing I need is for him to realize I like him. How awkward.
The coach makes a few more announcements before he dismisses the boys to the locker rooms.
" I needs you to gather up the balls and take them back to the equipment room. " Coach Ryan nods in the direction of the small closet on the other side of the room.
" Sure thing! Anything else? " I ask, reaching down to pick up one of the stray balls.
" Not that I can think of. I'll be in my office if you need me. " Coach Ryan nods a goodbye before heading towards the boys locker room where his office is located.
I look around the gym. Abandoned basketballs lay scattered around the gym. This is going to take a minute.
I pull the metal ball holder behind me as I begin picking everything up.
" Here ya go. " A voice startles me from behind.
I turn to see Steve holding two basketballs under his arms. He sends me a small smile.
" Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. " He sets the basketballs on the top rack.
I smile back at him. " It's all good. I scare easily. "
Steve jogs over to one of the balls a few feet away from us, swiftly picking it up.
" Oh, you don't need to do that. I've got it. It's my job anyway. "
Steve shakes his head, a looks piece of hair falling in front of his face. " I don't mind. It's kinda fucked up you have to clean up our mess. "
I shrug. " I mean, I signed up to do it. "
Steve nods. " Why did you sign up to be a manager? "
" Honestly, to get out of class. " I feel heat begin to spread over my face at the sound of Steve's laugh. " I hate biology. "
" Whaddya mean? Mr. Jackson's a world-class comedian. You're telling me you don't like his cell jokes? " Steve grins.
I cringe, memories of Mr. Jackson's awkward dad jokes and the silence following filling my mind. " I could do without. "
" You know, I don't think we've actually ever talked before. " Steve points out while heading towards another ball. Instead of returning it to the cart, he dribbles it towards the hoop closest to us. He shoots it into the hoop, the ball making a loud sound as it returns to the ground.
" Well, we've never had a class together. " I shrug, taking the ball from him as he hands it over to me.
" What a shame. "
Does Steve like talking to me?
" I mean, that doesn't mean we can't start now. We're gonna be stuck together for the next few months. "
Steve picks up the last basketball. " True. I gotta go get changed before my mom gets here. It's been nice. See ya tomorrow? " His eyes steadily hold my gaze.
I nod. " For sure. "
Steve's smile widens slightly. " Later, Y/N. "
" Bye Steve. " My throat feels tight from excitement. I can't believe that just happened. Steve knows I exist. He knows I exist! And he actually likes talking to me! This...this is fucking great.
Sophomore Year - 1982
" Hurry the fuck up, Y/N. " Steve groans, his sweaty forehead pressed against his forearm. He lazily leans against the now empty bleachers, his eyes following me as I finish writing down the total of money the team made off of concessions.
" I told you that you didn't have to wait for me. I have shit to finish up here. " I nod towards the clip board in front of me.
" I'd be a shitty friend if I left you here. What if you get...kidnapped or some shit. I'd be first on the suspect list. "
Friend. I'm only his friend. Gosh, I need to get over this stupid crush. I mean, it's been over a year since we met and he hasn't said anything about liking me. Why would he like me now? He's into girls like Chrissy. Why else would he flirt with girls like her and not with me? If he liked me he'd tell me. Right?
I roll my eyes, trying to shake off my thoughts and focus of the impatient boy in front of me. " Great to see you care about me so much. Definitely isn't because of your reputation. "
Steve lets out a small laugh. " You know I'm fucking with you, right? "
" I know. Look, I'm almost done. Grab your duffle from the locker, will you? By the time you get back I'll have everything finished. Plus it'll give me a break from your whiny ass. " I joke.
" Ouch. And here I thought you loved me. " Steve holds a hand up to his heart, humor clearly in his tone.
For a moment my heart begins to race. Love. He knows? He doesn't know. Shut the fuck up and be normal. He's a friend. Just a friend.
" What made you believe that? Tommy's obviously my number 1. "
I'm not the biggest fan of Tommy. He's hot a cold. Somedays he's decent, other days he's a complete shit head. He's changed a lot since middle school.
For a moment something flashes over Steve's expression. Surprise maybe? Annoyance? As quickly as it comes it's gone. His playful expression returns. " I'll be sure to let him know that. "
" Don't you fucking dare! " My head snaps towards him. " I'll kill you, Harrington. I'm not even joking. He'll never let me live that shit down, even if it's a lie. And Carol will beat the shit out of me. "
Steve raises an eyebrow in amusement. He leans back against the bleachers, crossing his arms. " Don't worry, I'll sell tickets for the show. I'll even cheer you on. "
I roll my eyes. " Of course you would. "
" I'm gonna go grab my stuff before the janitors lock the locker rooms up for the night. " Steve laughs, pushing himself up. " Hurry the fuck up before I leave you here. "
" You wouldn't dare. "
" Watch me. " With that, he strolls towards the direction of the locker rooms. His strides ooze with confidence, a kind only Steve can emit.
Steve truly is one of a kind.
Junior Year - 1983
" Are you going to prom? " Steve asks out of the blue. He doesn't bother looking up from his text book.
I swallow harshly, heat climbing up my cheeks. I hate when people ask me this. " Nah. Prom's overrated. "
Steve's eyebrow quirks up. " So you're a dance hater? "
I shrug. " I just don't see what the big deal is. Blowing a ton of cash for one night? I'd rather buy new records. " I debate whether or not to tell him the next part. " Plus no one's asked me. " They never do. Why would they when they could ask someone like Carol or Chrissy?
Steve finally looks up at me, his gaze finally meeting mine. Shock is evident in his expression. " Really? You haven't been asked? "
I shake my head, heat crawling up my face again. " Why would I? In case you haven't noticed, I don't really have a ton of guy friends. And my friend pool isn't the largest. "
Steve sends me a sympathetic smile.
Instead of comforting me, it annoys me. He doesn't understand. He's had girls asking him out and asking him to dances from the moment he was allowed to go to dances.
" Anyone would be lucky to take you. You're a great person, Y/N. "
I roll my eyes, laughing slightly. " Yeah. Lucky. "
Steve's eyebrows furrow. " Why are you laughing? I'm serious. You're like the coolest person I know. "
" Then you have a very unique perspective of the word cool. " I glance up at the clock on the wall behind him. " Shit, I told my mom I'd run to the store and pick up some potatoes for dinner. I'm gonna be late. I gotta go. " I rush to gather my notebooks off of the library table.
" Do you want me to take you? " Steve asks, getting up after me.
I shake my head. " It's fine. It's just down the street. You keep studying. Lord knows you need to. Gotta pass that calc test in Jones' class tomorrow. " Truthfully, I just want to get out of this conversation and I'm worried that if Steve gives me a ride it'll just reignite the topic.
" Are you sure? I really don't mind taking you. I can always study at home. "
" I'm fine Steve. Plus, if you try to 'Study' at home, you're not going to get anything done. I know you. "
Steve rolls his eyes. " I love your confidence in me. With your reassuring words I can do anything. "
I let out a small laugh. " Shut up. "
Steve grins.
Fuck he's perfect.
I need to get out of here.
" I'll see ya later Steve. " I wave at him, pulling my bookbag over my shoulder.
" Later, Y/N. Walk safe. Call me in an hour or two so I know you weren't kidnapped or forced to join a circus. " Steve's joking but a part of his expression seems serious. Like he's actually worried about me.
I let out a sigh. " I'll be fine but I'll call you. "
I wish I was the type of person boys would ask out. The type that don't have to do anything for people to crush on them.
But I'm not.
++++++
" Y/N, Steve's here! " My mothers voice calls up to me.
What? Why's Steve here?
Confused, I head downstairs. As soon as I reach the bottom my eyes widen. Steve's still in the doorway, a small box in his hands. His hair is styled perfectly, like always. He's dressed in a fancy suit, something I've only seen him do for fall sport award nights or very special occasions.
" What the...? " I finally get to the bottom of the stairs. " Steve? What's going on? "
" You're going to Prom with me. " Steve holds out the box, his comment more of a statement then a question.
" I don't have an outfit! " I protest, confusion still fogging my mind.
" Just put on whatever you have. Come on, Y/N. It's prom. You need to experience it at least once. Why not with me? "
I feel my stomach begin to churn. Steve's taking me to prom? What fucking dream have I been blessed with?
I chew on my bottom lip. " I'll be back. " I turn to run back up the stairs.
I can't believe I'm going to prom with Steve.
I do my best to get dressed quickly. I manage to find a semi appropriate outfit for the dance and we head out.
" Dinner first. The dance is at 9. " Steve pulls into a familiar diner. It's the diner the whole team eats at after winning a game.
" Oh, you forgot to put on your corsage. " Steve opens the small box, gently taking out a beautiful corsage.
" Oh Steve, you really didn't have to do that. " I stare down at the beautiful flowers. " This is too much. "
Steve shakes his head. " I want you to have a prom to remember. You deserve it. "
I send him a smile. " Thank you. You...you're really the best. "
His smile widens, sending butterflies through my body. He gently puts the corsage onto my wrist. His fingers are cool. They leave tingly sensations on the skin he touches.
For a moment it's silent. I try to find a way to calm my nerves.
He's your friend. Just a friend.
" Actually, Y/N. I also wanted to talk to you about something. " Steve breaks the comfortable silence.
" Yeah? Go for it. " I take a sip of my water, my eyes staying on him.
For the first time he looks nervous. Like he has so much to say but he doesn't know how to.
" Are you okay? " I ask, slightly concerned. He's always so confident. He knows who he is and he's proud of it. It's something I've always admired.
Steve nods, pulling his eyes away from his water cup. " I'm just going to say it. Fuck. " He runs a hand through his hair.
My heart begins to pound faster. What's going on?
" Fuck, I hope this doesn't make things weird. That's the last thing I want. Look, I really like having you as a friend... " He starts.
What the fuck is he going to say? Now I'm nervous. Does he have another girlfriend? Someone who doesn't like him being friends with me?
"-But...fuck, look I like you. " He blurts out, a small blush crawling up his cheeks. " I've liked you for years and I really want to be more than friends. And...I don't know if this makes it weird. If you don't like me, I completely understand. We can just pretend this shit didn't happen and go to prom and never talk about it again. I really don't want to make you uncomfortable-" Steve rambles.
" Steve. " I try to interrupt.
" It's just been something I've struggled with for years and fuck, I don't want to keep it from you. Not when we could potentially be something more. I mean - "
" Steve. " I try a little more forcefully.
Steve's clearly stuck in his head because he doesn't seem to hear me.
"-I just don't want to have any regrets. Especially about you-"
" Fucking hell. Steve Harrington, I need you to shut the fuck up for a second. " I say louder, attracting the attention from an older couple nearby. " Sorry. "
Steve looks at me with wide eyes, clearly not expecting my reaction.
" Let me talk. Please. " I look into his eyes, excitement bubbling in my chest. " I like you to. Fuck, I never thought this would happen. "
Steve breaks into a wide grin. His shoulders relax and he seems less tense. " You do? "
I laugh slightly. " I mean, yeah. You're funny, you're talented, you're nice. You're the whole package. Steve, you're one of the kindest people I know. It's hard not to like you. "
" Oh my...thank god. I was so nervous you weren't going to feel the same. " Steve leans back into the booth seat he's in across from me.
" Me too. "
Today really has to be a dream.
" So...do you want to be my partner? " Steve asks, his gaze holding mine.
I smile. " I'd love to. "
Senior Year - 1984
" I'll see you after class? " Steve grins at me. He pushes away from the lockers he was leaning on.
" Of course. I'll meet you at your car. "
I watch as Steve walks away. He's immediately swallowed up by the crowd.
Thing's have been pretty good. Ever since we started going steady, things have been really nice. Of course, some people in the school don't really approve. It's hard to ignore sometimes but we try. Not everyone agrees that Steve should date someone like me.
It hurts.
But what's important is that we're still together. Despite the shit people say, we're trying.
Sometimes I can see it gets to Steve. He's lost a bit of respect. It's so fucking stupid. I don't understand why people think it's so important for him to date a certain type of person.
Sometimes I feel guilty for us dating. Sometimes his teammates can be dicks. They don't see what he sees in me.
It doesn't matter. As long as we're both happy, that's what's important.
++++++
" Look, we need to talk. "
Those are the first words I hear when I get into Steve's car. His jaw is tight. He avoids looking at me.
" Oh, yeah. What's up? " I ask, confused about what's going on. " Are you alright? You look tense. Did something happen in fifth period? "
" We need to break up. " Steve blurts out. He still avoids my gaze.
My eyes widen. " What? What's going on? Steve, look at me? "
" I'm done, Y/N. I need out of this relationship. "
What the fuck happened? We were fine literally an hour ago. What the fuck is going on?
" Why? Steve, what the fuck are you talking about? "
I feel my heart begin to break at his words.
Steve shakes his head. " I just-look, you're a nice girl, Y/N. But...I can't date you anymore. " His voice waivers slightly.
" Steve, what did I do? " My voice crackles. I feel tears prick at the back of my eyes. " What the fuck happened? "
" We don't look good together, Y/N. "
His excuse is fucking stupid.
" Since when have you cared about what other people think? Why now? "
Steve swallows harshly. " It's different now...I...you...we can't do this. You hear what they say about us, Y/N, don't you? What they say about you? "
Anger begins to bubble inside of me. This is what it's about. " It's me. You're embarrassed of me. " I'm silent for a second, trying not to let the tears come out. " Fuck you, Steve. "
Finally Steve looks up at me, hurt flashing over his face.
" You're an asshole, you know that? Since when have you given a fuck about someone elses' opinion? You're really doing this because of what other people have said? You're just like fucking Tommy, you know that? Like all of the other shallow assholes going to our school. " I open my door. " I hope you're happy. You'll finally get your spot as King of Hawkins back. I wish I'd never met you, Steve. "
" Y/N-" Steve begins, his arm reaching towards me. " I'm sorry- "
" Fuck you. " I slam his door, rushing away from his car. I hear a snicker as I walk past a few of the cars. Tommy and Carol whisper to each other, their harsh gazes glaring holes into my frame.
Steve's always had a bit of a reputation for being a dick to certain people. He's had a bit of a bullying streak. I thought that shit was over. I thought he'd grown out of it, I mean he was never mean to me.
I was wrong.
+++++++
Two days later he started dating Nancy Wheeler and I quit being a manager for the basketball team.
Fuck you Steve Harrington.
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withahappyrefrain · 2 days
Note
Talking about pegging Jake is not good while I’m OVULATING ugh fuck, he’s such a baby back bitch..I want to ruin him and put him back together..just want to BREAK him and stitch him back up..ending up sucking on my tits (oral fixation) (Did I just write this🫣🤭)
Edging Jake would be so delightful. He tries to appear unbothered, even commenting he could go "all night."
But after the fifth edge? He's a blubbering mess. His words are slurred as he begs you to let him come.
"I don't know," your fingers lightly graze his hard cock, eliciting a desperate whine from him, "Are you going to be a good boy?"
"Y-yes." He has tears in his eyes. Jake is willing to do anything for you. His hips are jerking erratically, practically humping the air. Any shame he had was gone.
Hesitantly, you prop his knees up to his chest, "You gonna apologize to everyone tomorrow?"
He nods desperately, "Yes! I'll, I'll do it tomorrow."
The head of the silicone cock brushed against his hole, making him drop his head back, sighing out of relief.
But the relief quickly turned to panic when he realized you hadn't moved, only the tip was in.
Jake needed it all.
"Who are you gonna apologize to? Tell me."
Jake briefly thinks about pushing himself down on the strap on. He has the strength, his hands are free.
But the potential punishment stopped him.
Instead, he merely whimpered, hoping those green eyes would garner sympathy from you.
"I'll give you a hint baby. It's five people. Name all five and I'll let you come."
A frustrated groan escaped Jake's lips. Your eyes narrowed and you pulled your hips back, beginning to leave him-
"B-Bradshaw!" You smiled, thrusting forward slightly.
"Good boy. Now name the rest."
"N-Nat?" His brain was scrambled. All he could think about was you, how you were ever so slowly filling him up.
"Three more."
"P-Reuben?" Jake's brain tried to think back to today's earlier events, which was what caused him to be lying on his back in the first place.
"Two more." Your hips move closer towards the back of his thighs.
Jake practically sobs, trying to think through the haze who else he offended.
"M-Mav?" His voice is weak, body shaking.
It's a delicious sight to witness.
You pull away, ignoring his cries, "No baby. He deserved that. But you should thank him for saving your neck."
You giggled as his body squirmed. Leaning over, your mouth captured one of his hard nipples, your hot tongue swirling around the hardened bud.
When met with Jake's groans, you simply tsked, not even bothering to hide your smirk. Why should you? He knew you delighted in this just as much as him.
"C'mon baby, gimme two more names." The head of the silicone cock now brushed against Jake, teasing.
After all, he needed to focus.
Your thumb wiped across the slit on the head of his cock, relishing in the groan the pretty blonde man made. Jake was putty in your hands. While getting up and walking away was possible, the thought never crossed his mind.
Your other hand gripped the base of the strap on, guiding it towards where Jake wanted it the most.
"Two more names Jake. I'm waiting."
His whole head felt fuzzy. With each minute that passed he slipped further and further into that headspace. It's what he craved, what he needed. It was why he always acted so bold and brash. From the first day you met him, you knew he was silently begging for someone to put him in his place.
He still wrestled with it, the idea of fully submitting himself to someone else. It went against everything he had been told, everything that had been ingrained in his head from the beginning.
A harsh thrust, filling him completely sent the pilot gripping the bed sheets. His hips thrashed against the mattress, struggling to adjust to the size.
The privilege of time had been revoked several edges ago. You pulled your hips back, only to thrust forward again, building up a fast rhythm.
"S'good." Jake was a withering mess underneath you, a far cry from the cocky man from earlier. From how his cock twitched to his knuckles turning white, you knew he was close.
"I know. Such a shame."
He's so lost in pleasure your words don't even register. No, it's not until you abruptly pull out, leaving him empty and desperate that Jake realizes what's happened.
"I told you baby. Two more names."
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scekrex · 1 day
Text
Masterlist Adam x male!Reader
Consider chasing dick instead of pussy {SFW}
Fuck him, flip him, bend him backwards, baby, put your back into it {NSFW}
Bitches want me 'cuz they know that I can rock {NSFW}
Heavenly {NSFW}
Till death do us part, but we're already past that phase {SFW}
Heaven's gates won't open up for us again {SFW}
What it takes to be a man {SFW}
Going viral {SFW, crack fic}
Hidden in the sheets {SFW}
Lost and Found {SFW}
Any way you want me, baby, that's the way you got me {NSFW}
Night Terrors {SFW}
I'm liking it better with you {SFW, crack fic}
Drunk 'n' Nasty {SFW, crack fic}
Constant Headache {SFW}
Baby we could be Bonnie & Clyde {SFW}
Do you even {SFW, crack fic}
For you I'd bleed myself dry {SFW}
Pretty baby with the sun in his eyes {SFW}
Figure you out {SFW}
Cuffed Up {SFW}
Got Me Obsessed {NSFW}
Forbidden fruits cause damage {SFW}
Born to Lose {SFW}
Chaotically Chaotic {SFW}
Let me live/Let me die {SFW}
Lonely Eyes {SFW}
Flying and Falling are pretty close to each other {SFW, crack fic}
I'll shelter and adore you more than anything {SFW}
Stick It To The (Wo)Man {SFW}
With broken wings we're fallin' {SFW}
The Plan (Fuck Parents) {SFW}
Pretty Boy Swag {SFW}
Goodbyes that feel like you're still in my city {SFW}
In Desire We Trust {NSFW}
People Pleasing doesn't rock {SFW}
And I dream to be your fantasy {SFW}
Chains on my lips just add flames to the fire {SFW}
Love me like you mean it, a little bit harder now {NSFW}
Never wanna stop 'cause your taste is so divine {NSFW}
Let the sun set on your life and I'll make, oh I'll make you mine {SFW}
When you meet my eyes, we both know that you're mine {SFW}
But I still want more, don't know what I'm after {NSFW}
I hate everyone, it's so easy, I wouldn't do it if I didn't really care {NSFW}
It's 'cause of these things {SFW}
He can fix it {SFW}
If God's watching then we're both sinners {SFW}
Love at first sight, I still believe {SFW}
Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone {SFW}
I bring the ribs, I bring the drama {SFW}
Everything I love, I guess it makes me damned {NSFW}
Smother me with loving hands {SFW}
We're eating good tonight, darlin' {NSFW}
Reach out and touch faith {NSFW}
Birthday boy {SFW}
All the violence makes a statement {SFW}
If I'm so wonderful then why am I so misunderstood {SFW}
This hurts me like Heaven {NSFW}
Is this the life, the one from your dreams? {NSFW}
I got myself a fuckin' life dressed up in evening wear {SFW}
Little soldier {SFW}
About bragging and loving {SFW}
The deeper you go, the better you feel {NSFW}
Never wanted to dance with nobody, but you {SFW}
I'm a jester and I'm yours, call me your fool {SFW}
Burning, I feel it too {SFW}
There's a darkness at the heart of my love, that runs cold, runs deep {SFW}
I promise you that I'll be good to you if you promise that you'll try to love me too {SFW}
Make me cum {NSFW}
You're dead to me, stop saying my name like beetlejuice {SFW}
Spin round quick rock yo body {NSFW}
I got all twisted up, you helped straighten me out {SFW}
Suck it up, big boy {NSFW}
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be {SFW}
Take me down, a little bit harder now {NSFW}
I'm not likely to kick a head in, but I'll curb stomp a bitch if she objects at our wedding {SFW}
Kill anyone for you {SFW}
Out for Blood {SFW}
Lover come hold me {SFW}
I'll meet you in hell {SFW}
I don't want you to hate me, no, I want you to wanna hate me {SFW}
I wave goodbye to the end of beginning {SFW}
Let's make a mess and cross the line, you and me a masterpiece {NSFW}
Call me daddy {SFW}
I love it - you son of a bitch {SFW}
The king's demand of golden birds {SFW}
Rocking your world {NSFW}
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da-proti-toku-grem · 1 month
Text
feeling like a total asshole today 👍
#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night#i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know#so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD#but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying#and i felt absolutely nothing#idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel#like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just?????#that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car)#and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow#and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago#i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back#not right now#not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week#but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go#and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now#and all i can think about is that i'm anxious#i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know#i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it#bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has#but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality#why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain#like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings#i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it#i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it#i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly#so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language)#is easier than talking in spanish#and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind#but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/#i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit
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apolleos · 9 months
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"do you think i care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" is so anakin and obi-wan coded YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES GEORGE LUCAS
#i refuse to be normal about star wars#I REFUSE TO BE NORMAL ABOUT ANAKIN I HATE HIM SO MUCH FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING UP!!!!!!#no but really i was thinking about this doctor who quote because surprise. it's always on my mind#and one thing about me is i love all these i'll stain your clothes / i will take it type of quotes & dynamics#and THAT'S EXACTLY OBI WAN AND ANAKIN'S DYNAMIC!!!#there is a part of obi that will always love anakin. there is a part of anakin that will always hate obi wan.#and i know he hates obi wan because he still needs him. needs him to define himself.anakin always saw himself throughout other ppl's eyes#even after all the shit he did anakin still wants obi wan to acknowledge him. he says he killed anakin BUT HE CAN'T FOOL ME!!#anakin's one of main problems is his need for other people to define who he is & he always needed praises n acknowledgment from other ppl#he gets obsessive all the time and he feels everything very intensely & HE CAN'T LET GO#one thing about anakin is he will never let go of anything ever. it is not an option#so when obi wan says 'because all he'll see is me' he means it! obi wan is all anakin sees & and anakin needs obi wan to hate him as much#as anakin hates him. and as much as he hates himself#BUT OBI WAN DOESN'T!#how can anakin justify his actions if obi wan doesn't loathe him like the way he loathes himself?#i refuse to believe george lucas created one of the most complex characters in the whole universe on purpose. i hate him.#don't you hate it when tragedy is tragedying in the most tragic way?#obi-wan#anakin#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#star wars#kenobi series#not obikin#g.txt#yes everybody moved but i stayed here.
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lucyvaleheart · 1 month
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.
#i need to stop doing this. but i just. i.....#.....I'll probably fall asleep minutes after i post this#so if you message me about it and i don't reply that's why#but i just#............fuck I'm trying so hard#it doesn't seem to matter#no matter how much i get done or accomplish it's never enough I'm always ten steps behind where i need to be to even reach net zero#not even the point of making progress. the point where i can so much as rest#I'm so tired. im so tired. nothing i think of works nothing i try is ever the right thing#i know from the outside looking in i may not seem like a burden i may even seem like an uplifting person to be around#but I'm a burden.#i am. I'm not self deprecating. it's a fact. it's just a fact.#as i am now i am a resource sink and i need too much help and i can't really be independent#and yet i don't really have a choice#so at present whoever i live with (currently my husband) gets stuck taking care of me because i just fall short in so many ways#.....i can't do anything right#nothing i do seems to matter. i can't.... i can't do anything#fuck#I'm just repeating myself I'm almost certain but#...............why can't i have a decent idea for once#all this confidence and i just keep fucking up anyway#worked so hard on being confident in myself that i don't match up to my own expectations now#i#.............fuck#everything hurts so badly#I'm so tired#....I'm so tired#....................if anyone happens to live in Minnesota and wants to just. come shoot me dead hit me up#im too much of a coward to do it myself
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alisaint · 3 months
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listening to the national is so dangerous because you'll be enjoying it right. because it's good music. and then . and then...... the Sadness gets u....... whadda hell how could this have happened ot Me...... why would they do that to me personally.
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months
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not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!
#like. yeah i'll take the raised minimum wage. i guess. but jesus christ#yes you are doing slightly good things sometimes almost. can you stop killing people though. please. that is a higher priority#like this is my first prezzy election season since i turned voting age right and like. what the fuck am i supposed to do now#what am i supposed to do with this. it took me 5 fucking months to pick a dead cockroach off my floor how am i supposed to fix this.#how am i meant to be a person and go on living while knowing i am doing nothing and cannot do anything and won't do anything#i need to fight i need to get up but i am stuck. im always stuck. i pray yknow. i don't know what else to do#how can people think about buying houses and getting promotions in this world. how are they not feeling likr their chest is caving in every#time they falter in their complex self-distraction. how am i supposed to do anything when all i can think about is helping and my body won't#let me. i cant do anything i cant but i have to but i cant. im supposed to and im a bad person if i dont and i cant live like that.#and if i am too upset about that i am punished for it by the people around me and ignored by those in power if not punished as well.#i love the world. i love people. you motherfuckers are killing everything and im not stopping you and you're getting in the way of me loving#the life i was built to love and i can't understand why you think it's even thinkable to do what you're doing. or what im doing.#i just want to look at clovers and paint and be good to my neighbors but you won't stop fucking murdering people in front of me#and i can't fucking do anything. i cant take care of the people i love i can't carry my own weight i can't take care of myself i can't move#and im supposed to fucking file taxes? to fund mass slaughter? on the off chance it might go to welfare or something. god.#i hate it here i hate it here america is a fucking nightmare it is hell i can't stand it but if i leave im just running and saving myself#whch is selfsh and cruel and so i would never be able to escape the feeling and i would always be in american hell because it' a part of me#but if i stay i cannot do anything because my body is filled with smoke and broken glass and im supposed to fucking get my drivers license#so i can buy groceries or get a job so i can keep myself on life support watching everything get worse and worse around me#and knowing that nothing has ever been good here and ive been lied to forever and im still being lied to#and i am in hell.#and me dying won't fix it and me living won't fix it ans both are too painful to even consider.#i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning and my skin is on fire im on fire and i want to have children. but i can't imagine#doing that to someone. oh my god. and to raise them and watch them come to understand what this place ive brought them to is#that ive raised them in a slaughterhouse and to feebly try to show them the clovers and the ducks and the baby shoes and teach them to love#when maybe that love of the world is a distraction. or maybe i use it as one. i think of the blood as an obstacle to love and joy but maybe#i would not love the world so much if i was not so constantly desperately scared and ashamed of living in it#and i am a very lucky person. my life is cushy and i want to rip my skin off because what does that matter when it doesnt let me help people#god help me. but help the rest of them first. but i am helped first anyway and i hate it. i dont. i cant. god.#nyarla dni
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tardis--dreams · 1 year
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I may have hit an all time low mental health wise but I'm being so chill about it
#just randomly tearing up/crying for like 30 seconds before i tell myself#no. it's not worth crying about it. you keep those tears inside your body!#my life might be falling apart right in front of me after i tried moderately hard to prevent that from happening#but i refuse to cry about it (more than i am in these random 30 seconds of intense existential despair washing over me)#i need a plan for the future.#step one. get degree. hopefully achieved by may#step 2. apply for internships and jobs#step 2.2. find job to earn money before getting an actual job#(i think my professor changed her mind and doesn't want to keep me as her assistant after all#i haven't heard anything back for ages and the contract was supposed to start again in may#so. let's see if i find something else)#step 3. leave this godforsaken town and university and never look back. don't think about what could have been#don't think about academic work ever again. just let go. it's not worth it#step 4. try to make life less miserable somehow lmao. (optional)#i want to tell my mother about this fucked up situation#just so i don't have to hide it anymore and pretend things are going as planned#but i can't#oh well#I'll probably end up without any courses this semester so I'll just rot away in this ugly apartment#i hate everything and everyone istg. but it's chill. i'm so. chill. about. this.#(yeah no i don't usually use that word that often. or. ever tbh. just another indicator just how chill things are.)#void screams
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raveartts · 1 year
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I find myself getting jealous that ai art is so pretty and I'm not nearly as good as it, then I remember that ai art is just a conglomeration of stolen art from talented artists so who cares it's not special, and then I remember that those talented artists are so much better than me anyways and I get jealous again and-
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thedevotionaltour · 17 days
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the desire to quit comics and give up on creating art forever before i've even started my career vs the travis moore answer to my ask in his inbox when he still had a tumblr when i was in high school telling me it was both the most difficult and fulfilling work he ever took on and i should pursue it if i want to and the guy who bought the first ever mini comic i sold this year at my first ever con i tabled asking me to sign it. sniffle sob
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themuseoftheviolets · 9 months
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why is it that everytime i'm having a peaceful night my mom has to ruin it
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 1 month
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Try Me
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: suggestive
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"Lan, c'mon..please don't go." You whined tightening your grip on Lando's shirt. "Stay with me"
"Baby, I want to, believe me, I do, but I told you I promised your brother to go out with him tonight. Why don't you come along with us?" He asked holding your cheeks between his hands and leaving a kiss on the tip of your nose.
"Because I want to spend some time alone with you. Why can't he go out with Charles or anyone else?"
"Charles is not feeling well, and besides, it will be suspicious if I turn him down for the second time today." He explained trying to get some sense into you, but you just decided to be a brat today because, well, you just felt like it. You wanted his attention. You needed his attention.
"Fine. Go with him then. I don't care." You pouted crossing your arms and turning your gaze away from him.
"Y/n.." He sighed turning your chin with his finger making you look at him. "I'm trying my best to spend as much time as possible with you here. If Carlos knew I spent the whole day with his sister in her hotel room I'd probably be a dead man right now. So if you want me alive, you gotta let me go now okay?"
Everything Lando said made sense. It's true that Carlos would haunt Lando for the rest of his life if he knew that he had been seeing his 5 years younger sister for over 6 months now. It's also true that Lando is a bit torn between the two of you. He doesn't want any trouble with his best friend, but he also doesn't want to even think about having to stop seeing you.
Lando and you were not in a relationship, well, not officially, you didn't call it a relationship because you were forbidden to him. You had been seeing each other for half a year and both of you knew that there was something more between you, more than just sex although you never put a label on it. The more time passed the more you liked each other and wanted to spend more time together so it got harder to keep it a secret.
"Give me a kiss" He said leaning down to your lips. You hesitate for a second, but give in rolling your eyes which Lando doesn't take very well. "No, no, don't do that."
You ignore him and head towards the bathroom not wanting to wait until he leaves your room. You just wanted to show your dissatisfaction with all your might.
"I'll talk to you later okay?"
"Whatever" You muttered before slamming the bathroom door shut.
Later that night, Lando was texting you just to check up on you, to see what you're doing, to see how you're spending your time without him and you decided to continue being a brat for the rest of the night. Because you just felt like it today.
'Just took a shower. Think I'm gonna go check up on Charles since he's not feeling well'
You replied smirking knowing that you mentioning Charles would completely push his buttons with you tonight. Ever since Carlos introduced you to them, both Charles and Lando have been trying to flirt with you. Only Charles has been doing it directly and Lando was more subtle with it. Lando was always more mysterious about it, that's probably the reason why you were attracted to him and not Charles.
So ever since he got his eyes on you, he hated that Charles was trying to get your attention. He hated that he was still doing it and yet he couldn't do anything about it because you two were a well kept secret.
'Oh really? Carlos and I saw him. He's just fine so you don't have to do that.'
He was replying back to your messages within seconds. You knew he was going crazy about it.
'Well, I'm gonna go check anyway'
Of course you weren't gonna go. You were all ready for bed, but since you didn't get what you wanted tonight, you decided to play with his head a little.
'Y/n..You have nothing to look for in his room'
'I mean it's not like I have a boyfriend if you really think about it. So..I don't think it would be inappropriate, no? '
'I can hear the attitude through the text. Fix it, before I fuck it out of you.'
His text sent shivers through your body. You threw your head back against your pillow sighing and reminiscing the way this morning the bed was squeaking beneath you two.
'I don't think you're gonna do anything about it'
'Oh, try me then'
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rhys-writes-some-shit · 5 months
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Cuddles
Alastor x Reader (QP)
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You were always respectful of the fact that Alastor didn't like physical touch that he didn't initiate. You never asked why, never tried to force him otherwise, never even considered trying to touch him without his consent. This remained true for all the years you'd known him.
But sometimes it got really fucking difficult.
After a long day of work, then chores, then helping with the hotel, you were absolutely exhausted. And you still had dinner to look forward to. As much as you loved Al, his need for dinner formality really got on your nerves sometimes. At least the food was good.
Luckily, there was a little time where you could escape to your room. Closing the door behind you, you kicked off your shoes and dramatically collapsed onto the bed. As soon as your body hit the mattress, you wanted to stay there for the rest of eternity.
But that wasn't an option.
Groaning, you decided it wouldn't hurt to close your eyes for a moment. Besides, Alastor would want you to be lucid for dinner. Closing your eyes for a second would help.
"Ah, there you are." Distantly, you heard Alastor poke his head in the room. "I would like your input on supper, if you don't mind."
Unable to muster words, you made some unintelligible noises into the bed, curling up more with the blankets. Alastor's footsteps were muffled by the carpet, so you didn't know he was standing right next to you until he spoke.
"Seriously, darling, it is much too early to be sleeping. Don't be so dramatic."
A hand fell on your shoulder, probably to try and take the blankets off you. However, in your half-awake stupor, you shifted to grab the hand, pulling it towards you in an effort to pull some comfort out of it.
Your brain didn't compute what you'd just done for a full 30 seconds, until, suddenly, it hit you. Despite your exhaustion, you immediately let go of Alastor's hand and jerked to a sitting position.
"Al, I'm so, so sorry," you said, your voice sounding more tired than anything else. You ignored the way your eyes kept trying to close, Alastor's figure being nothing more than a red blur in front of you. "I didn't mean to. Give me a minute, I'll be down to help."
Alastor hummed, the contemplative hum you've learned to differentiate over time. Vaguely, you were aware that Alastor's smile softened a bit.
"I can spare ten minutes," Alastor finally said. "Move over, if you please."
You stared at him, blinking tiredly, struggling to understand what was happening.
Expectantly, Alastor motioned to the bed. "Nine minutes and thirty-five seconds."
Then it kicked in. Hastily, you moved over to the other side of them bed, giving enough room for Alastor to sit down with his back against the headboard.
Blankets curled around your shoulders, you sat there, hesitating.
"You may." Alastor answered the unspoken question. "For eight minutes and fifty-two seconds."
It was impossible to deny the smile that grew on your face as you crawled into Alastor's lap, resting your head on his chest and closing your eyes. Gently, Alastor wrapped his arms around you, holding you.
Wrapped in blankets, leaning into Alastor's solid body, the darkness behind your eyelids enveloped you. It felt like you were floating, just your and Alastor, and nothing could ever harm you ever again. As long as you kept your breathing steady, everything would be okay.
Everything would be okay.
You were right; just closing your eyes for a few minutes helped immensely. It was even better that it was spent with one of your favorite people in all of Hell. And if Alastor "accidentally" forgot to keep track of the time, extending your cuddle for an extra two minutes, you weren't going to say anything.
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stevieschrodinger · 8 months
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Part One of Rock Star Eddie and Baker Steve wrong number AU
Link to Part Two
Eddie's got dubious history with picture messages. Only a very small group of people have his number, considering he's the front man of a multimillion best selling metal band, he doesn't ever want his number to be public knowledge.
So yeah, picture message from and unknown number? Dubious.
Eddie's had enough dick and...vag...pics in his time that he, honestly, doesn't really want another. But when the picture is followed by a message, "were you thinking something like this?"
Well, Eddie's a curious guy. So, committing himself to the idea that this might be new number time, again, he opens the message.
To be confronted with a cake. A really fucking cool cake actually, it's got a car dashing around a muddy track on top with a big '5' in the middle. All of it looks edible, made out of...cake stuff. Eddie has no idea what it is, but it looks delicious.
"One layer chocolate, one layer red velvet? I can do any combination of flavours you want."
Well. Eddie isn't anything but impulsive and he was trying to figure out what the fuck to do for the 'quiet' celebration they were planning for going platinum. Again.
"I think you have the wrong number'" Eddie types, "but I definitely want to order a cake from you."
"Oh my god I'm so sorry, unsolicited cake pics are the worst 😉"
And Eddie can't help it, he laughs, and types back, "if I told you I wanted three tiers of the darkest, spookiest, cherry chocolate what would you come up with?"
It takes a couple of minutes, but Eddie's phone pings twice in quick succession, the first picture is of a spooky orange cake clearly Halloween themed, covered in ghosts and skeletons and stuff. The second is jet black and has a coffin on top that looks like it's leaking green corrosive stuff and Eddie nearly throws his phone in excitement. "That! The second one!"
"🤣 that's an old pic, I was just starting out then, but everything is edible, the green slime is made out of jello"
"Where are you based and can you make it for the 15th? I'll get a courier to collect."
"Sure thing, how many portions? And I need a deposit up front. I'll do chocolate ganache and cherry filling."
"Errr...like, 150? Maybe?"
Eddie sits and watches as the dots appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and then there's a pic.
It's a selfie of the most beautiful man he's ever seen. And he's standing in a kitchen, holding a cake pan. Suddenly Eddie's phone is ringing in his hand and he is panicking because beautiful man is calling him. "Hello?"
"Hey, man, it's Steve, the cake guy?". Eddie assumes he makes an affirmative noise because Steve keeps talking, "anyway, that cake pan I'm holding is literally the largest one I own, even if I did three tiers, no way will it cater that many, I'm a small business, you know, it's just me. I can recommend you some companies I know would do a great job."
But then, Eddie will never get to talk to beautiful man ever again, "what if you made like, three cakes?". He asks desperately.
There's a long beat of silence on the phone, "I mean, in theory, I mean, it might cost you more than-"
"I'll pay it. I'll pay double, for, inconvenience, or whatever-"
And oh no, beautiful man has the most beautiful laugh too. Eddie's fucked. He's so fucked.
"I'll raise you, two cakes and fifty muffins?" Steve laughs again, and Eddie laughs right along with him.
Steve grabs his phone when it pings, hoping for Eddie. It is Eddie. It's a selfie from the neck down, like always, Steve still doesn't know what the guy looks like, but Eddie's wearing a deep red shirt that he's clearly just dumped a whole cup of coffee down, "hope your days going better than mine, sweetheart,"
Steve sends back a selfie with a lump of uncooperative modelling fondant in the background, "that depends, can you tell what this is supposed to be?"
Steve's pretty sure it's wierd to talk to a customer every day, but he's started to find he's looking forward to Eddie's messages. Even when they turn flirty. Especially when they turn flirty, maybe.
And maybe it's not exactly professional that Steve's found a lot of reasons to call Eddie. He just, needs to get this right, and if Eddie wants chocolate covered cherries on the cupcakes, well, Steve needs to call him and check, right? Right.
Steve heads out into the lounge with flour on his nose and a mixing bowl under his arm, Dustin, Lucas and Max are sprawled on the couch, El lying on the floor. He can hear Mike and Will fucking around outside. He spoons up some cherry mixture, "hey will you try-"
"Shhhhhhhh!"
Well. Rude. Steve looks to the interview they're watching on the TV. It's some metal band Steve vaguely recognises, and when the lead guy speaks...Steve has to sit down. Because that sounds a lot like-
"So, Eddie," the show host guy starts, and Steve's knees would go weak of he wasn't already sitting down. He's certain his stomach has left the building. "Seeing anyone?"
Eddie laughs, says no, but the band mate next to him makes a show of nudging Eddie and sharing a look.
The host picks up on it immediately, "so there is someone," Eddie's still shaking his head, but he's got a shy smile on his face that makes Steve feel like he's melting. "Come on Eddie, give us something."
"It's not a thing," Eddie flaps his hands, "don't make it a thing."
"Oh it's a thing alright," the audience laugh, "come on, give us something!"
Eddie looks uncomfortable for a second before shrugging, "they, uhm, they make the most amazing cakes you've ever seen."
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wonryllis · 2 months
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☆ ᵎᵎ ENHYPEN COMING HOME TO FIND YOU ASLEEP.
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╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗇.
𝒏o𝓉ℯs. enhypen in whipped era 𖥔 ݁ fluff, soft soft softtt LIB? fem!reader word count `719 PLS REBLOG!!
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𝗹𝗲𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴 he knows you stay up late waiting for him, this time he finds your figure laid against the soft cushion in a weirdly adorable position. heeseung quietly tiptoes to have a closer look, taking his time to admire your sleeping face. oh he so wishes to keep coming home to you like this. he'd sit beside you and tell you things he could never have said to your face, his deepest thoughts. apologizing for things he could've done better and thanking you for being with him and loving him.
i think i will love you forever, i want to.
𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴 he is so used to it, at least he thinks he's so used to it but everytime he comes home to find you passed out on the couch, or on the carpet slightly lolling to the side the book in your hands almost falling off, he feels the same butterflies he did when it first happened. if you aren't in your pajamas already, best believe he'll change you himself, not wanting to disturb your sleep and put you to bed like magic fairy. he'll join you in later, and if you accidentally stir awake he'll put you back to sleep.
shh, go back to sleep love, i'm right here.
𝘀𝗶𝗺 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝘆𝘂𝗻 this guy has a field trip range of emotions upon seeing you asleep after a long day of work. he feels this fuzzy and warm feeling watching the one he loves sleep so peacefully, and on the other hand he's so excited to just join you. if you're on the couch he'll squeeze himself in whatever space he finds and cuddle you into the morning and if you're on the bed, he'll leech onto you leaving more than half the mattress empty while he snuggles into his baby on your side of the bed.
mmm, love having you in my arms like this
𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻 outwardly he's so nonchalant at first, just coming up to your passed out figure and picking you up to get you to the bed, a smile on the tip of his lips. however the moment you nuzzle into him in a soft whine, he's so putty feeling his heart skip beats, his breath staggering like boy is damn smitten. placing you on the bed he'll quietly pull the covers on, a sneaky kiss on the lips and then leave the room to calm himself down, maybe even scream silently a little with the way you get him nervous over nothing.
fuck, she's so damn adorable i'll melt.
𝗸𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝘄𝗼𝗼 he'll text you to ask if you're awake and if you don't respond he knows you're out. he'd definitely softly speak about his day even though you're not listening. complimenting you as he always does of how pretty you manage to look all the time. will sing you a bunch of songs if you wake up, holding you close and tracing over your features, smiling so wide all the tiredness of the day washes away. also makes sure to wake up before you to again admire your sleeping face.
you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
𝘆𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻 asleep or not, jungwon is always careful when he walks through the door, softly opening and closing it. tiptoeing inside as quietly as he possibly can, and when he spots you asleep on the couch he'll put everything down to bring you to bed. carrying you like the most precious thing, laying you on the mattress and immediately leaning over to leave kisses all over. if you stir awake he's getting in and cuddling you back to sleep, hands caressing your head gently.
it's just me baby, you looked so cute couldn't help it.
𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶 will absolutely not switch on anything or make any sound and obviously will carry you to bed if you're passed out somewhere else. he'll kinda avoid looking at your face, until he cannot help it and god help him because once he does he'll be glued, eyes staring non stop. he can't believe someone so beautiful loves him, and all these complicated emotions come at once. he's overwhelmed and so whipped, he'd play around with your hair deep in these thoughts until sleep comes to him too.
how did i manage to have someone like you?
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