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punkshort · 8 months

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look what we've become - ch.9

Chapter Summary: Joel nurses you back to health and you come to a startling realization about your future together.

Chapter Warnings: language, descriptions of some injuries, fluff, protective Joel, soft Joel, little bit of angst, lots of feelings, smut (18+ MDNI), fingering

WC: 6K

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

After arriving back in Jackson, you ended up spending nearly three weeks in the infirmary. Your injuries were worse than you thought. From what you could remember, Bill said you had some internal damage along with several fractures and sprains. The cut in your leg was infected, but fortunately Eugene's group did manage to successfully trade for the rest of the antibiotics before everything happened in Salt Lake City.

You ended up sleeping quite a bit in those weeks, but Ellie told you later that Joel hardly ever left your side. She had said she would get into arguments with him, trying to convince him to take turns at your bedside so he could go home and rest, but he refused.

"I don't know which one of you is more stubborn - you or him," Bill mumbled to you as he gently removed the IV from your arm. You chuckled, your eyes finding his broad form outside your bedroom talking quietly with Tommy, just out of earshot.

"Definitely him."

You were grateful Bill let you go home, but he insisted on doing house visits twice a day until you were on your feet. Most of your superficial wounds had healed but you were still very tired and weak. Bill could see improvement every day, and he said that's all that mattered.

On his way out, Bill stopped to check in with Joel, no doubt updating him on your condition and any medicine he would have to administer for you. You watched his face as he listened intently, his brow furrowed as he looked down at the bottles Bill handed him. You had to stifle a giggle when you saw him squint at the label and hold it further away from his face.

While Joel and Bill continued to talk, Tommy slipped past them and into your room, giving you a grin as he plopped down in the chair next to your bed.

"Lookin' good," he said, making you laugh and then wince, gingerly touching your ribs.

"Liar," you said, and he chuckled, his eyes raking over your face, taking in the scabs and yellow bruises with a sigh.

"Just wanna let you know, we cut off all trades with 'em," he said, his voice taking on a serious tone.

"I figured. I know they had a lot of things we could use - "

"We'll find those things somewhere else. Not worth it," he said, cutting you off.

You nodded and cast your gaze to the side.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he replied, tapping his foot on the floor. "Maria said she was gonna stop by later after work, you think you're up for it?"

"Yeah, of course," you said, although you honestly couldn't tell these days. It seemed like you fell asleep at the drop of a hat.

"How's Ellie?" you asked him. Whenever you asked Joel, he frustratingly just gave you the most basic information. She's fine. She's in school. Think I saw her with a couple girls the other day.

"She's adjusting real good. She's been stayin' with Julia, but I'm not sure it's a permanent solution for either of them." He eyed you carefully as your gaze drifted over his shoulder at Joel, who was walking Bill down the steps to the front door. "You got any ideas?"

"Me?" you asked, looking back to him now and raising your eyebrows in surprise. You knew what he was implying, and he just nodded.

"I would love it if she wanted to stay here, but I'm pretty sure Joel wouldn't like that, and I really don't want to push him right now. He's so stressed, Tommy. I can see it in his eyes. He's not sleeping well, and I'm worried about his blood pressure -"

"Have you talked to him about it? About the kid?" Tommy asked, and you shook your head.

"No, but he made his feelings pretty well known when she first got here."

"Lots happened since then. He might surprise you," Tommy said, standing up with a grunt. You frowned and opened your mouth to question him further when Joel walked through the door, his gaze falling on his brother.

"Just headin' out, don't worry, I know she needs her rest," Tommy said, sneaking you a wink as he headed towards the door. You thanked him for visiting and listened to them walk down the stairs, their voices fading the further they got until the door closed and all that was left was Joel's heavy footsteps slowly coming back up. He reached the door and leaned against the frame as he gave you a small smile, but you could see how exhausted he was. His eyes looked bloodshot and his shoulders sagged.

"Come here," you whispered, and he quickly pushed off the wall to come to your side.

"What'dya need, sweetheart?" he asked, glancing at the cup next to your bed, making sure it was still filled with water. "Hungry?"

"No," you said, shaking your head, but he looked at his watch and mentally did the math.

"You'll have to eat somethin' soon with your meds, what can I make you?" he asked, and you shook your head again.

"Can you please just lay with me for a while?"

He hesitated but you reached out to drag your fingertips against his wrist, urging him closer to the bed, and he gave in.

"Alright, only for a few minutes," he said, rounding the end of the bed and collapsing onto the covers with a groan, sliding his eyes closed in relief.

"I wish you'd rest more," you murmured after you gingerly rolled yourself onto your side so you could look at him. "I'm worried about you."

He chuckled and turned his head to the side to look at you in disbelief.

"You're worried about me? You're jokin', right?"

You reached out to lightly brush a stray curl away from his eyes, choosing not to reply. You knew it would be a losing battle anyway.

"Can't rest," he said, staring at you with his eyes all soft. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to rest again."

"Why?" you asked, your brow furrowing.

He shook his head, his eyes still pinned on yours and you watched them slowly fill with tears. You gave him a look of concern and inched a bit closer to cup his face, the pad of your thumb swiping over his rough beard as you waited for him to open up.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his voice thick as he tried to hold back his tears. "It's all my fault, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault -"

"I keep lettin' you down. Over and over again," he continued, a tear slipping down his cheek. "And I just wanna tell you that I understand now. 'Bout all of it. Why you're so scared 'bout havin' a family or gettin' married. And it's fine, I won't bring it up again, alright?"

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" you asked, searching his face for answers.

"I can't - " he paused and took a deep breath before trying again. "I can't take care of us. I thought I could but it's clear I can't when all this bad shit keeps happenin'. But if you'll still have me, I'll be right here, okay? I'll take whatever you wanna give me, I don't care 'bout any of that other shit anymore. I just want you."

"Slow down," you said, trying to wrap your fatigued mind around what he was saying. Your grip on his jaw tightened before you continued. "You never let me down, do you understand me? You are the only fucking thing that kept me going the past few years. Without you, I would be dead. I would have died that very first day. I owe you my life, Joel. How do you not see that?"

He just shook his head, refusing to accept what you were saying, so you kept going.

"I should have just been honest with you, but it took me a while to figure out why I was so scared about - "

"You don't need to explain - "

"Let me finish," you said, and he clamped his mouth shut. "It's not you, Joel. Well, it is. But not for the reason you think."

He frowned, blinking back tears as he waited for you to continue.

"It's because I love you so much that it scares me." You could feel your own tears forming now, but you tried to push through. "If something were to happen to you out there and I was left all alone, I don't know how I could go on." You swiped away a few tears that fell as you spoke. "And I'm terrified of getting married because if you die, that day will haunt me, Joel. Every single year when the anniversary comes, I - "

You stopped for a moment, your breaths coming in short gasps. He tried to shush you and pull you closer, but you shook your head.

"I'm not strong enough," you finished with a small sob. This time, you let him pull you into his chest while his big hands cradled the back of your head, patting down your hair, soothing you.

"Does that make sense?" you blubbered, pulling back to look at him.

He nodded slowly, his eyes raking down your face.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Thought I wasn't gonna get you back after they took you. Thought I lost you forever."

The two of you sat in silence for a minute, lost in each other's eyes, the truth finally spoken and swirling around the quiet room as you both clung to the other, just grateful to be alive.

"But you did get me back," you finally said, breaking the silence. "You did that. You saved me. Again." You ran your finger gently over his bottom lip and he gave the tip of your finger a little kiss.

"You might think you can't keep me safe, but in reality, you are the only reason I'm still here." The puzzle was finally piecing together in your mind as you spoke.

"That's not true," he said immediately. "Every situation that's put you at risk could've been avoided if I had protected you more. I wouldn't have to save you if I didn't put you in harm's way in the first place."

"But this is the world we live in, Joel. None of us will ever truly be safe ever again. And it's not because of something you did. It's just a really shitty hand we were all dealt and now we have to figure out a way to make the most of it and survive." You paused for a moment, something in your brain finally clicking as the words came tumbling out.

"We can't let fear run our lives," you said softly.

He looked at you, your gaze fixed on the wall behind him as what Maria said so long ago finally made sense. It was like you were seeing through the fog. Like a weight was lifted off your shoulders and you could breathe deeply for the very first time.

It took you and Joel to finally have a raw and honest conversation, but you thought you understood what she meant now.

"You okay?" Joel asked, clearly confused. You let your gaze fall back to him and you grinned.

"Yeah," you said breathlessly, then tugged him forward so you could press your lips against his, your fingers curling around the back of his neck to hold him against you.

You weren't afraid anymore.

A few days later, you woke up to the sound of the front door downstairs swinging shut. Your eyes snapped open and you strained your ears, trying to listen to the muffled words through the closed bedroom door.

"Told ya to be quiet, she's tryin' to sleep," you heard Joel say.

"Sorry, the fucking wind took the door from me and this stupid backpack is so heavy. Why do I even need to go to school? Who cares about this stuff anymore?"

"I do, 'cause it keeps you out of trouble and outta my hair."

"Ha, yeah right. You know both those things are impossible, old man," you heard Ellie scoff.

"How the hell old do you think I am?"

"The way you can barely read the instructions on the back of that pasta box? You don't want me to answer that."

You grinned as you listened to the two of them bicker amongst themselves. You weren't sure when it happened, but at some point in the past several weeks, Joel and Ellie finally seemed to have a breakthrough in their relationship. You wanted to ask, but you didn't want to draw attention to it. The two of them were so alike in so many ways that you knew if you pointed it out, they would pull back and stop making progress. So in the meantime, you just enjoyed listening and watching them whenever you got the chance.

With a small grunt, you pushed yourself off the mattress and swung your legs over the side of the bed, taking a moment to catch your breath before reaching out and using the end table to support your weight so you could stand. Walking was getting easier; the worst part was still the healing gash in your thigh. Bill said the knife one of Amy's men used must have cut through some muscle, so you were slowly building your strength back up by taking very short walks around your bedroom every day.

With small, careful steps, you managed to get to your bedroom door and open it quietly, listening to Ellie helping Joel make spaghetti in the kitchen while she told him about her day. You stopped at the top of the stairs and peered down.

"Ellie?" you called out softly.

You heard a spoon clatter on the counter and Joel's heavy footsteps jog to the foot of the stairs. He looked up at you with a towel in his hand, worry etched across his face. Ellie quickly joined him and looked up at you with a grin.

"What's wrong? Why're you up?" Joel asked, taking the steps two at a time.

"Nothing!" you said with a smile as he reached the top and wrapped an arm around you gently to help steady you. "I just wanted to see Ellie."

"I thought you were asleep," she said, bounding up the stairs.

"C'mon, let's get back to bed," Joel urged. You sighed and allowed him to lead you back to the bedroom, but you chose to sit on the edge of the bed instead of getting back under the covers like he clearly wanted you to do.

"Come on, tell me what's going on out there. Joel's not much of a gossip," you told Ellie with a wink, and Joel huffed somewhere behind you, fixing the sheets.

"Well, Maria wants to get married the second you're back on your feet. Says she wants to do it before she starts showing," Ellie started, and you felt the mattress dip with Joel's weight next to you.

"Yeah, she told me that already. What else? How's school?"

"It's alright. I met a few girls, we hang out sometimes."

"That's great!" you told her, happy that she was acclimating well. "How's Julia?"

Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes at the mention of the older school teacher who graciously let her live with her.

"She's nice, but she's just got such strict rules. I've gotten into it with her a couple times when I was late for curfew," Ellie admitted, looking down at her fingers twisting in her lap.

"It's important that you listen to her, y'know. She's just lookin' out for you," Joel said softly, and you had to tuck your chin against your chest to hide your smile. He was so sweet with her now, like he had known her his whole life, and it took some time getting used to hearing it.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ellie said sullenly. "I just get so bored. She spends her evenings planning her lessons or knitting. Knitting! It's so quiet over there, I feel like I'm going to lose my mind."

"Well, why don't you move in with us?" Joel asked with a shrug. Both you and Ellie froze, your eyes widened in shock. You slowly turned your head to the side to look at him, unable to form words.

"What?" he asked, swiveling his head back and forth when neither of you said anything.

You were about to respond when Ellie jumped up excitedly, about to wrap her arms around Joel's shoulders, then stopped herself.

"Really? Can I?" Her eyes darted between you both, a huge grin plastered across her face.

"Yeah," you said breathlessly with a nod. "Yeah, of course you can." You tried your best to blink back the tears that were quickly forming.

The three of you heard some hissing coming from downstairs and Joel leapt up, muttering about the water for the pasta as he clattered quickly down the steps, leaving just you and Ellie.

"Holy shit," she said, still grinning.

"Uh, yeah, 'holy shit' is right," you said with a chuckle.

"You didn't have anything to do with that?"

"Me? Nope," you said, quickly shaking your head. "Although it was on my mind, I just never found the right time to talk to him about it."

"Wow," she muttered, sitting on the bed next to you. "Guess he doesn't hate me, after all."

"Told you," you said, nudging her shoulder with your own.

You sat in silence for a moment, deep in thought while you listened to Joel muttering to himself in the kitchen. A smile played across your lips at the sheer domesticity of it. A feeling that you never thought you would get to experience just fell into your lap when you least expected it.

"I never got a chance to ask," you began, and Ellie turned her attention back towards you. "Does anyone else know?"

She shook her head.

"When you were passed out in the truck on the way back, Joel told me he had to tell Tommy and Maria but then he got so distracted with you at the infirmary that I guess he never got around to it."

You hummed and nodded, wondering if Joel truly forgot or if he changed his mind. Either way, you knew it would have to come out some day, but you had hoped it would be on Ellie's terms.

"And what did he tell Tommy? About the Fireflies?"

"The truth. Well, mostly. Just left out a few things. He told him they were working on a vaccine and that they kidnapped you, obviously."

"But how did he explain why they took me without telling him they really wanted you?" you asked, your pain killers making it tough to keep up.

"I told them they took people to experiment on," she said. "I thought that's what they were doing, anyway, at first."

You chewed your lip for a moment, eager to learn more but careful about pushing her too far.

"How did you guys find me?" you finally asked. You had tried to get the story out of Joel multiple times already, but he kept dodging the question, and the curiosity was getting the best of you.

Ellie's body stiffened next to you. She straightened her back as she took a sharp inhale of breath.

"He didn't tell you?"

You just shook your head slowly.

"Well, we, uh, went back to my aunt and uncle's house," she said, dropping her eyes to her lap. "He figured out they were the ones who called the Fireflies to come take you. Or, I guess me, but whatever."

"Oh," you said softly. You hadn't expected Ellie to know about any of that.

"It's alright, Joel told me after you were taken. That you thought they might've sold me off," she said, as if reading your mind.

"Ellie, I'm so sorry," you said, but she just shook her head.

"It's fine," she said, but you could see in her face she was hurt. After a moment, she added "it worked out in the end, right? I found you guys."

You gave her a tight smile as you felt the swell of emotions rising up your chest, squeezing your throat. You cared for Ellie so deeply that you were almost inclined to agree with her. Even though you were just as happy to have her in your lives, it still made you sick to think about what she had to endure to get there.

Then, you realized Ellie never elaborated about their return visit. You glanced over at her and wanted to ask, but decided against it. She looked upset enough, and if it was anything like you saw at the hospital, you preferred not to bring it up.

Joel startled you both by appearing silently in the doorframe.

"You girls ready to eat?"

Girls. The way he said it warmed your heart.

"So long as you didn't burn it," Ellie said teasingly as she stood up from the bed. "I'll bring some up for you," she said to you over your shoulder as she headed down the stairs.

"C'mon, lemme help you get back in bed and I'll get your tray," Joel said, but instead you held out a hand to stop him, making him look at you.

"Thank you," you whispered, cupping his face with both hands.

"For what?"

You smiled at him and he lifted an eyebrow at you, amused but curious.

"For giving me a family."

It took a few weeks, but your bones eventually healed and you were able to get back to work. Maria would only schedule you for half days and you argued that you could do more, but by the time you got home after only four hours, you had to admit you were exhausted.

Bill told you it would take some time for you to feel like yourself again, that it was completely normal and that you would need to build your strength back up. You had to constantly remind Joel you needed to start doing things for yourself, but he would still do whatever he could to keep you from getting up too much.

Joel heard you sigh from the bathroom and within seconds he was in the doorway, buttoning up his dress shirt with a tie draped loosely around his neck.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," you said quickly as you continued to stare into the mirror and fidget with your hair. "I can't get my hair to look the way I want it."

"I think you look beautiful," he said, sauntering over with his shirt still untucked to wrap his arms around your waist from behind, gazing at you in the mirror while he planted a quick kiss to your neck.

You sighed and tilted your head to the side, encouraging him to explore your neck more. You arched your back just a bit, pushing yourself back into his hips, causing his arms to stiffen around you.

"No funny business," he murmured against your skin, and you grinned.

"Not even a little funny business?" you teased, and you felt him chuckle lightly against your back.

"Nope. We're gonna be late," he said, pulling back suddenly but giving you a small tap on your ass with his palm before he walked away.

You glanced at the time and gasped quietly. He was right. Tommy and Maria's rehearsal dinner was in ten minutes, and even though it was just a handful of you at their house, you still didn't want to be late. Maria spent too much time planning this wedding and the last thing you were interested in doing was setting off the short fuse she had developed over the past couple weeks.

Quickly, you put on some old lipstick and fixed your dress before turning off the bathroom light. Joel was just finishing up knotting his tie, leaning forward a bit with his lips parted as he watched himself carefully in the mirror above your dresser and you had to resist the urge to push him down on the bed right then and there.

Ever since your energy slowly began coming back, so did your desire for Joel, but he was adamant about waiting until you were feeling better, which just left you feeling crazier by the day. You weren't sure if it was because you were finally on the mend, or maybe it had something to do with your breakthrough with him, but you found yourself feeling a lot needier than usual.

"Ready?" he asked you before running his fingers casually through his curls once more and walking over to you. You nodded, your lips pressed together as you glanced down at the blue shirt and navy slacks he picked out.

"You look good," you told him, your tone suggestive. He smirked and took your hand, leading you out of the bedroom.

"Ellie, we're leavin'," Joel called out to her, ignoring your compliment. "There's leftovers in the fridge!"

"Okay!" she called out, the sound of her music softly flowing through the floorboards as you made your way downstairs.

"Should we bring any pain killers in case you start gettin' sore?" Joel asked.

"No, I'll be fine."

"You sure? 'Cause-"

"Alright fine, we can bring them," you relented, just eager to get out of the house at this point. You pocketed them in your small purse and the two of you headed out towards Tommy and Maria's house, luckily arriving with two minutes to spare.

"How are you feeling?" you asked Maria as she greeted you with a warm hug.

"Me? What about you?" she said with a laugh.

"Oh, I'm fine! I want to hear all about you and what the future hellraiser is putting you through."

"She ain't fine," Joel said behind you, turning his head away from his brother. "Bill said-"

"Bill said I need to work on building up my strength. To me, that's fine," you told him, and he rolled his eyes.

"You two are so alike, it's scary, you know that?" Maria asked, leading you into the kitchen for a drink. You smiled and waved when you saw Carrie and Jake, along with Eugene and another woman who you thought was named Tina, but you couldn't quite remember, rounding out the rest of their wedding party.

"So really, how have you been feeling?" you asked her, taking the glass of wine she offered you.

"Nauseous, but it's getting a little better. And tired. Oh my god, I'm so tired all the damn time, it's crazy!"

"Oh, wow," you said, taking a sip before adding "you aren't even showing yet. How far along did Bill say you were?"

"I'm close to the end of the first trimester, thank god. He says that's when the nausea usually goes away and I should get some energy back," she said, checking the oven briefly before straightening back up. "But enough about me. How are you two?" she asked, nodding subtly towards Joel in the living room with Tommy and now Eugene.

"Better. Much better. We had a good talk after we got back, and I think we're on the same page," you said, glancing around the room at the others, making sure they were out of earshot.

"What page is that, exactly?" she pushed with a smirk.

"He's okay with not getting married or having kids," you replied with a noncommittal shrug. She narrowed her eyes at you and you frowned. "What?"

"Is that what you really want, though?"

"Well," you said, glancing around once again before lowering your voice. "I've come around to the whole marriage thing, but I don't really know how to tell him. I feel like I keep jerking him around and I don't know what to do."

"You need to be honest with him," she said immediately, and you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but I just made this huge fuss -"

"It doesn't matter. This is your life, you have to do what's right. He might be confused at first but you know he will be so fucking ecstatic he will forget all about it, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," you said, glancing over your shoulder to watch him laugh with Tommy, a glass of whiskey in his hand. "I just need to figure out how to tell him."

"And kids?" she asked, causing you to whip your head back around.

"I'm not there yet. But maybe one day," you finally admitted, making her squeal out with excitement and causing the rest of the guests to look your way.

"Sorry! The chicken just came out perfectly!" Maria said with a giggle. You laughed with her as you locked eyes with Joel and he raised a curious eyebrow at you. You shrugged and gave him a quick smile before turning back to Maria.

"Alright, enough of that. What can I do to help?"

"You sure you ain't in any pain? Maybe you should take somethin' before bed," Joel said as he watched you wince when you leaned over to take your heels off.

"I'm okay, I promise. It's the damn shoes," you explained, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing your calf. "Was I this annoying when you were hurt?"

"Worse," he said with a grin before sitting down next to you and taking your legs over his lap, his own fingers taking over, rubbing the sore muscles and doing a far better job.

"Thank you," you said breathily as you closed your eyes and leaned forward so your head was resting on his shoulder. You sat in silence for a moment, his strong hands digging into your calves, content to be in your shared home with Ellie safe and sound, right down the hall.

"Joel?"

"Hm?"

"Something's different," you said softly, your eyes still closed.

"What'dya mean?" he murmured, his lips pressed against the top of your head.

"I feel... safe," you said, opening your eyes a bit and staring at the wall across from your bed, his fingers still working your legs.

"That's good, baby," he whispered.

"No, I mean..." you paused, searching for the words, not sure how to say it. "I mean I'm not scared anymore."

His fingers paused as he absorbed your words, trying to figure out what you were saying.

"That's... good," he repeated, not quite understanding. You sighed and tilted your face up to look at him, your arm stretching up to wrap around his neck, pulling him down for a soft kiss. Another time, you thought. You'll figure out how to explain it another time.

You slipped your tongue past his lips, your fingers raking through his hair as the hand that was once on your calf slowly migrated up past your knee and to your thigh. Greedily, you nipped at his bottom lip and leaned backwards so you were flat on the bed, Joel partially on top of you while your lips moved faster, leaving quick, desperate kisses against his mouth.

"Hang on," he whispered, but you kept going, your heart slamming in your chest. Now that you felt him on top of you again, it was sparking a fire between your legs.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked jokingly, pulling back a bit and pinning your wrists into the mattress, your chest heaving.

"Please, Joel," you begged, not caring how pathetic you sounded.

"C'mon, you know you ain't ready yet. You're still healing," he mumbled sweetly, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead.

"I am ready," you promised, but he just shook his head.

"We got a big day tomorrow," he whispered in your ear before sitting up, his weight no longer pressing against your upper half. "Let's just go to bed."

You pouted as you sat up next to him and he grinned.

"Ain't gonna work on me, sweetheart."

Then, an idea occurred to you. You shrugged and stood up, walking towards the bathroom as you slowly unzipped your dress, letting it pool at your feet only when you were in the safety of the small room. You turned around, hand on the door, only wearing your underwear as you took in Joel's slack jawed expression, his eyes slowly raking up and down your nearly naked frame.

"I'm gonna shower," you said quietly, his eyes still glued to your body. "You wanna join me?"

You could see the conflict in his face, trying so desperately to hold back and keep a clear head.

Finally, he forced himself to shake his head. You pouted again then shut the door, but not before sliding your underwear down your legs first, giving him a little show.

The water had barely gotten warm enough to step under the stream when he ripped open the shower curtain and stepped into the tub. You looked at him and smirked.

"I thought you said -"

He silenced you with his mouth covering yours, pushing you up against the cool tile while his knee slotted between your legs and his hand slowly drifted down your stomach. You gasped and smiled against his mouth when his fingers pressed exactly where you needed him.

"You need me that bad, huh?" he murmured against your mouth, and you nodded.

"Yes," you whined, arching your back off the wall, your wet body pressing up against his as his fingers dipped inside you and dragged them back out, smearing a mix of your arousal and water expertly over your clit.

"Can't be too loud, now," he reminded you, swallowing your breathless moans as his fingers circled faster. Your nails dug into his shoulders, holding on tightly as he brought you to the edge way too quickly, months of not being touched by him finally coming to a head.

"Joel," you whispered, burying your face into his neck as you felt the muscles in your stomach tense. He wrapped his other arm around your waist, holding you up just in time. Your legs went lax, your arms and Joel the only thing keeping you upright as you felt the coil in your belly snap, your sounds muffled against his skin and the water beating down around you.

"Better?" he asked when you finally found the strength to hold yourself back up. You nodded, your eyelids drooping, but you still slid your hand down his stomach. Right as you were about to wrap your fingers around him, he stopped you.

"Not tonight," he said, and you frowned. "It's late. We gotta get to bed."

If you weren't so exhausted, you would have put up a bigger fight. You leaned into him as he gently massaged shampoo into your hair, your eyes closed, blindly letting him direct you under the water to rinse before he got started on your body, his strong hands spreading the soap over your skin in circles.

He helped you get out of the tub and wrapped you in a towel as he dried your hair, his own body dripping water all over the floor. You lazily watched him work, a slow smile creeping across your face. He noticed and raised an eyebrow at you.

"I like it when you take care of me," you explained, and you swore you saw a little bit of pink dust his cheeks. He led you to bed, tucking the cool sheets around you as he brushed your damp hair away from your eyes. "Want you to take care of me forever," you mumbled as your eyes slid shut. He smiled, then his hand froze as his lips pursed in thought.

I feel safe.

I'm not scared anymore.

He finally understood what you were trying to tell him, and his heart began to flutter excitedly in his chest.

Tag List @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk @plz-be-solo @iloveramensm @caitlynsixxx @anoverwhelmingdin @harriedandharassed @jessthebaker @txtattoostark @merz-8 @sarahhxx03 @oscarissac2099 @motherjoel @silas-222 @b3l1nd5 @rocket-raccoon-silvie @missladym1981 @angie2274 @maried01 @ashleyfilm @alltheotps @mybworlds

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peachhcs · 5 months

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moments on the ring

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

going backwards in time from a year in the future to the summer before samy's senior year, the ring camera captures all of the special moments between samy and will.

2.6k words

i was inspired by the tiktoks of couples having cute moments on their ring cameras, so i wrote this. i thought it was so cutie and it's all just scattered moments of samy and will caught on the lakehouse ring camera

au masterlist

ONE (the summer before will moves to california)

the faster july bled into august, the harder it became for samy to ever sleep. the poor girl's mind raced with a hundred thoughts about starting her next chapter: the last half of college. junior year rode in fast and so did her new captaincy for the women's soccer team.

a dream that the girl's had since she stepped onto campus was now becoming a reality in just short of a few weeks. she couldn't be more grateful, but at the same, she was now leading an entire group of girls in hopes of taking home another national title.

if they lost, it was all on her and that terrified the girl.

she curled up on the front porch steps, eyes on the sky trying to find her favorite constellations. whenever she couldn't sleep, the little hughes wandered outside and stared at the stars until someone came and found her.

usually, it'd be her mom. occasionally jack or luke. recently, though, the one person who's never left her side became the one finding the girl by herself in the late hours of the night. mostly because he'd sense her presence missing and sleepily ventured out to find her.

the front door quietly slid open giving samy the indication that someone found her. she waited for them to approach before acknowledging them. gentle hands slipped something across her shoulders making the goosebumps along her arms quickly disappear.

"found you," will's sleepy voice echoed through the stillness.

"hi, baby," samy smiled up at the blonde as he sat down beside her. the pet name earned a small flush across his cheeks while his hand immediately found a place on her knee.

"hi. can't sleep?" the boy wondered trying to wake himself up more despite everything in him wanting to crawl back under the warm covers.

"yeah. thinking too much i think," she curled herself into her boyfriend's side. his body was like a heater as his warmth spread into her, replacing the cool air swirling around her.

"wanna talk about it?"

a bit of hesitation stopped the girl from immediately opening her mouth. she knew will wouldn't ever judge her, but she almost felt..selfish for admitting being nervous for the upcoming season. he sensed her pause, so he ducked his head down to find her gaze.

"talk to me, hughesy," the blonde gave a loving squeeze so she knew he was all ears. her nickname painted a brief smile on her lips.

"i'm gonna be captain this season," samy mumbled like she didn't believe it herself and she almost didn't.

a smile grew across her boyfriend's lips, "i know. i'm so proud of you."

"what if i let everyone down?" the worries finally flew out of her mouth which almost knocked the breath out of her for admitting it aloud.

"what makes you think that?"

"i dunno. i'm scared i can't lead them to a national title again. then what? i let everyone down," samy explained what troubled her—her doubts and fears about everything going wrong under her guidance.

"even if you don't, no one's gonna hate you. this is gonna be a real good season, yeah? you're gonna take them to the finals again, i know it," will encouraged and his words surprisingly made the youngest hughes feel a lot better. he always knew how to do that somehow and samy never knew how he did it.

"it's just such a big deal. i'm scared i'm gonna fuck it all up," the girl laughed in hopes of keeping herself from crying.

"you won't. you're the best soccer player i know. not many people can rebuild the soccer program in their freshman year," will's sappy words made the brunette blush to the tips of her ears. she hid her face in his chest so he didn't see.

"you're so cheesy."

all will did was kiss her forehead in response. he ran soothing circles across her shoulder which definitely helped settle samy's anxiety. he always knew how to lift her spirits, even if it was just his presence alone.

"you leave for california in two weeks, right?" she changed the subject for now wanting to direct the attention off of her.

"yup. 13.5 days," will's voice almost sounded sad saying that. samy quickly picked up on the shift in his tone, so she shifted herself so she was looking at him.

"your official rookie year. god, i cant believe it's already here," those two years unknowingly flew by for everyone.

"is it weird i'm scared to start a new life all the way across the country from my best friends," the blonde softly wondered. samy cupped his cheek, running her thumb over his soft skin as he leaned into her touch.

"i think you're gonna do really well in san jose. they picked a good one," it was now samy's turn to be all sappy and cheesy. plus, it was only fair that she was because will did it moments ago.

"promise to come visit me?" the boy searched her gaze, one filled with love and lust. the grip on her knee tightened a bit like she'd disappear if he let go.

"i can't promise it will be during the season, but i'll really try after," they knew samy couldn't leave as freely as she did to boston. with her captaincy, she was needed and expected at every practice. not to mention, flying to california was a lot different than flying an hour to boston for a weekend.

"right. just expect a lot of facetime calls then."

their foreheads connected briefly. samy closed her eyes, letting will's sent fill her body and slowly calm her down to the point where she finally became tired. the blonde hooked his arm around her shoulders, a gentle kiss landing on her soft skin.

"wanna go back inside?" he wondered.

samy just nodded, letting will pull her up and lead them into the house. the hockey player smiled at the ring camera that he almost forgot was there knowing it just picked up every single second of that soft moment.

TWO (the summer after samy and will's first year of college)

jack sure knew how to throw a party. people packed themselves in and out of the house, wall to wall, room to room. the summer house probably hasn't ever been so full before, but jack was determined to celebrate luke making it through his rookie year and with nearly everyone in michigan, it was bound to be a good one.

samy stumbled out onto the front porch with will close behind her as they finally escaped the chaos for a few seconds. their hands were intertwined, fearing they'd lose one another in the crowd if they didn't hold onto each other. the brunette fell against the porch railing, some of her drink dripping onto the wood, a lazy smile on her lips.

"jack so would've made a great frat boy if he went to college," will chuckled, leaning himself against the railing as well.

"trust me, i know. we've told him," samy was extra giggly tonight, especially after having a few shots in her system.

the alcohol her brothers bought for the lakehouse didn't and wouldn't compare to the cheap vodka her and hannah found or begged ethan to get them (he refused most of the time anyway). whatever stuff her brother's liked buzzed through the girl's system like a race car and she became a lot more drunk a lot quicker.

the music was so loud, they could hear it from the porch. jack had old pop songs playing and time of our lives by pitbul started blaring through the speakers. samy gasped, forgetting her cup as she pulled will up to start dancing.

"i know my rent was gonna be late about a week ago," the brunette sang—or more like screamed—while swinging her boyfriend's hands around who just laughed.

"i worked my ass off, but i still can't pay it though," will joined in.

they didn't even care that they were the only ones drunk and dancing on the porch. the moment couldn't have been anymore perfect. the oldie songs brought them back to their childhood where they'd similarly scream along to the lyrics without really knowing what any of it meant.

"ooh, i want the time of my life. oh baby, oohhh," once the chorus hit, will spun samy around. she giggled nonstop while the blonde enjoyed seeing her so happy.

the best part of the song came on a few moments later. will wrapped samy up in his arms, snaking them around her waist.

"this is for everybody going through tough times. believe me, been there, done that. but everyday above ground is a great day, remember that," the two sang the verse together before the blonde pushed his lips to samy's when the chorus began again.

something about the moment was so perfect—just two teenagers enjoying themselves as they celebrated getting through their first year of college and long distance while the entire thing was captured on the oh so infamous ring camera right above the door handle.

THREE (the summer after samy and will's first year of college)

samy's heels clicked against the hardwood as she stepped onto the porch. will followed close behind, lazy and lustful smiles on each of their lips as the girl spun around to face her boyfriend. he immediately snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest.

"thanks for driving me back. you didn't have to, you know," the brunette hummed, reaching her hand up to fix some of his misplaced curls.

"i know, but it wasn't any problem," the blonde shrugged.

"it is like 30 minutes out of your way. you have to be up in exactly.." her eyes gazed down at her watch, "five hours."

will didn't even seem bothered by the fact, "i'll just sleep on the plane. whatever."

his nonchalantness never failed to amaze the girl. will was due in san jose for a two week summer development camp with a plane to catch in seven hours, yet he was standing on samy's porch past midnight after spending a long night out with her family and then insisted to drive her back to the house before he went to his hotel closer to the airport.

"you're crazy, you know that?" samy shook her head in amusement.

"i am for you," will grinned, his cheesy words earning a playful eye roll.

"god, you're so insufferable sometimes," she cupped the boy's cheeks to pull his face closer to hers, an indication that she wanted a kiss.

"gonna miss you, pretty girl. two weeks is so long," the blonde hummed.

"it will fly by. we did four months."

"the worst four months of my life," being so caught up in hockey and soccer, time to see one another was pretty limited during the school year.

summer would always be will and samy's favorite months.

"promise to call you every night," samy beamed making the hockey player smile too.

"you better. you're sure you can't come with me?" will always did this when one of them were leaving for long periods of time. he was desperate to get samy to follow him everywhere.

"i wish, but you need to have your moment. one more year before you join the sharks," the girl squeezed his chin.

"don't remind me."

with that, samy placed her lips to her boyfriend's. his hands gripped her waist, deepening the kiss as his tongue slipped into her mouth. she tasted like strawberries—a taste the boy would never get tired of. it just made him want her even more.

"you looked so beautiful tonight by the way," will mumbled when they broke apart for some air.

samy's cheeks reddened, "thanks pretty boy."

that was will's favorite pet name. he ducked his head back down to reconnect their lips. samy's hands started wandering towards will's curls, pulling gently near the nape of his neck which emitted a small sound from the back of his throat.

"wanna kiss you forever," his hands started wandering lower until his one hand slipped over her ass in a tight squeeze.

samy tugged harder at his curls looking for more. their need poured into each other's lips with will tugging the girl closer despite there not being anymore space left between them.

"you two better get a room," jack's voice instantly broke them apart.

samy spun around, her gaze zeroing in on the ring where jack just talked from.

"oh fuck off, jack," the younger girl rolled her eyes.

"you better be glad i was the one who looked and not dad or some shit. wrap it up before they do see anything. y'all are so gross," jack was most definitely rolling his eyes.

"fucking idiot," samy mumbled. she turned back to will, her smile quickly returning.

"see you in two weeks?"

"i'll see you so soon," will planted one more kiss to her lips before heading back down the porch. he waved to the camera incase jack was still secretly watching.

once he was back in his car, samy spun on her heel. bending down so she was eye level with the camera, "you're so annoying. i can't wait until i can annoy you and your girlfriend."

FOUR (samy gets her acceptance to umich)

the adrenaline buzzed through the young girl as she impatiently waited for her brothers and will to come back from their fishing excursion. their last eta update was 10 minutes ago being 15 minutes away meaning they were close to home.

samy texted them saying she had big news. the piece of paper was gripped firmly in her hands, the anticipation nearly killing the poor girl. she paced diligently across the porch with almost a hundred thoughts running through her brain.

distant voices started filling her ears, head whipping towards the dock down the yard. the four of them tumbled out of the boat. "mom! they're here!" samy yelled into the screen door.

she began waving her arms above her head, wanting to catch their attention. ellen was on the porch a moment later, phone in hand to record everyone's reactions.

"guys! guys! hurry!" the brunette yelled to will and her brothers.

"what's up little hughesy?" jack wondered as he picked his pace up and samy rolled her eyes at the nickname.

she'd never escape being little hughesy since her brothers would always be hughes or hughesy. she glanced back at her mom who beamed, nodding some encouragement.

"now what's up?" luke snickered while quinn and will looked at the girl expectantly while also confused when they saw ellen recording.

samy revealed the paper from behind her back, a large smile creeping onto her lips.

"i got into the university of michigan!!" samy exclaimed, immediately jumping up and down.

the shock hit all of their faces at the same time with luke being the first one to scoop his little sister into his arms.

"holy shit!! that's awesome! is it full ride for soccer??" the middle hughes exclaimed as well.

"full ride!" the girl echoed.

jack and quinn took their turns embracing their sister as well, leaving will as the last one. he scooped his best friend into his arms, a large smile plastered across his entire face.

"jesus, you're so awesome. so proud of you, hughesy," will gushed earning a small flush across the girl's cheeks.

she giggled as he spun her around a little.

"now you gotta come to michigan with me," samy poked his chest.

"or you can come to boston," the boy proposed with his little shit eating grin.

her eyes found everyone else's before landing on the tiny camera taking in the entire moment. she ran to it, showing off her acceptance letter with the word congratulations written in big letters across the top. someone wrapped their arms around her waist and samy immediately knew it was will just based on his hold.

the quick kiss on her cheek most definitely went unknown by everyone except the camera. samy sported a small blush before turning back to her brothers where they all continued celebrating their little sister's acceptance.

#hughes!sister x will smith au #will smith hockey #samy x will #boston college #boston college hockey #samy hughes #umich hockey #will smith imagine #will smith x oc #will smith hockey fluff #bc hockey #ryan leonard #gabe perreault #uofmichigan #luke hughes #jack hughes #quinn hughes

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itsgiovanna · 11 months

Text

proud of you

pairing: fem!f1driver for mercedes x mason mount

type: one-shot

requested: yes

summary: can you please write an imagine where y/n is an f1 driver and she just won her first championship from max for the first time and she drives for mercedes. mason tells how proud he is of her and how much he loves her (...)

notes: f1 and mason, everything i need. i changed some things from the request so it’d match the time of the season when the last race happens. btw: i'm not an expert on f1 strategies so it's probably lame, lol. also, there might be a pt.2, there might not… let me know in the comments! :)

warnings: fluff and more fluff, that’s all.

As soon as you’ve entered the paddock in Abu Dhabi, journalists gathered around trying to take pictures of you, being the first woman in F1, since 1976, completely changed things. From people wanting to know who you’re dating to the press speculating about the future in the Mercedes-AMG team alongside the Seventh-Time World Champion, Lewis Hamilton. He’s been someone you’ve created a friendship with, not to mention the fact that he’s a legend and you’re privileged to be learning from him. Also, he’s the reason you’re dating Mason, after he threw a party at his apartment in London you’ve got to know the Manchester United’s footballer and found out Mason is one of the most kind and gentle guy you’ve ever met, it’s been two years since you’ve met and it’s your 2nd year driving for Mercedes, everything happened fast and now you’re battling for the 1st place in the championship against Max Verstappen.

“Darling.” you’re quickly embraced by your mom’s arms in a tight hug. “We’re so proud of you, Y/N.” she says, looking at your dad.

“Thank you, mom.” you’re smiling, remembering all the things they’ve sacrificed so you’d be in F1. It’s worth it, and it’s all for them.

"It's gonna be alright, kid." your dad says, he knows you're nervous and they're too, anything is possible, in a bad way, when you're driving a car at 372.5 km per hour. "You're the best out there, sweetheart. It's a matter of time until you're winning that throphy, we'll always love you, regardless of what happens, Y/N."

"Shit, this is too much, dad." you're practically crying, but it's true, they've always been here, cheering when you're winning or supporting when you're losing.

"We love you, honey. You've been amazing this season. Have fun. Ok?"

"I love you." after a hug on both of them, you're off to the garage. It's showtime, and you're definitely not missing this one.

(...)

"Hey, you." Lewis greeted as soon as you've entered the garage.

"Hi, Lew." you're trying to be calm, despite the fact that the race is in twenty minutes, but he notices you're not 100% as you're used to be in other days.

"What's wrong?" he says, putting his phone away to properly look at you.

"I had a fight with Mason last night." you admitted, quietly, as if saying it out loud might make it more real. "I can't concentrate, Lewis. I'm terrified of what's going to happen out there today. It's not like the other races, it's the last one and I'm competing for the championship!" you're saying everything at once, taking the weight off your shoulders.

"Hey, it's ok." he hugs you as soon as you're having difficulties to breath. "It's natural to have worries, especially before a big race like this. But you're an incredible driver, and you've got the skill to win this. Whatever's going on with Mason, we'll figure it out later. Right now, focus on the track. Ok?" you've nodded, anxiety beginning to decrease. And, he was right. You couldn't let personal problems overshadow professional commitments, it's something you've always been grateful for: his friendship. While you've been emotional these past two years, Lewis is the balance for it, being rational, but caring. "If you ever need to talk or just take your mind off things, I'm here. We're a team, and that means supporting each other, on and off the track."

"Thank you, Lewis. I appreciate it more than everything, really." you've managed to give him a smile.

(...)

Mark, one of the engineers, tapped his tablet, bringing up the data from the previous races and the specifics of the circuit. "The circuit here in Abu Dhabi is known for it's challenging corners and long straights." he explained, his fingers dancing over the screen. "We've seen that tire management will be crucial, and the pit strategy needs to be timed perfectly."

"I need a car that's agile in the corners but fast on the straights. We need to find the perfect balance." you've said, getting approval from the other engineers.

"We're leaning towards starting on the hard tires to build a gap and switching to the soft, it'll probably give us the edge." Bono's voice echoes in the room. "And we'll need to be flexible with the pit strategy, especially if the weather complicates things. We'll be monitoring it throughout the race, though."

"Remember, you've got an incredible team behind you, but this race comes down to you. Max is going to push hard, and we'll need to be ready for any surprises. We believe in your abilities, and we know you can do this, Y/N." Toto spoke up, his voice unwavering.

You could feel the weight of the championship, but you're ready for the challenge. The teamwork, the strategy, and the unwavering support of your team brought you to this. You know that, together, you're predestined win.

"Let's execute it flawlessly, and let's win this championship." the team cheered, giving the confidence that you've been searching for.

(...)

The season had been a rollercoaster of emotions and challenges, but now it all came down to this race, the championship is at stake and the anticipation in the air is apparent. Everything you've worked for, the sacrifices, the late nights in the simulator, it's all worth it now.

You've glanced over at the other side of the grid, Verstappen is already in his car. He's a tough competitor, known for his aggressive driving style and determination, the battle between the two of you've become legendary, with fans around the world excited to see who's gonna win.

Then, as the lights went out and the race beggins, the thrill of the acceleration and the deafening noise of the engines filled your senses. The first few laps are difficult but you've managed to get a good position, overtaking competitors and focusing on Max, who's in front of you, not too far. The race progresses, and the championship battle intensifies. He's a relentless opponent, matching every move you've made. At any moment, the fight for the trophy could've been over. But you won't let pressure take over. With each turn, you're more confident. You've found rhythm and the car is responding to the commands, and is at it's limit.

As the final laps of the race approached, you've made the move. There it is, the opening. A shot to pass Max, and you've took it. The crowd erupted in cheers as you've surged, the two cars racing side by side, inches apart. It's the battle of the century, a test of skill and determination. With the checkered flag in sight, you've gave it all. Powering past the Three-Time World Champion, and crossing the finish line, the sound of the crowd erupting in Abu Dhabi. You've done it. You're the first woman to win an F1 championship, in the most amazing way, it's history for the books.

Tears of joy filled your eyes as you've slowed the car and got out, putting the arms in the air as the people cheered, Lewis is right behind, conquering the 3rd place on the race, and as soon as he looks at you, you're practically jumping on him with a hug.

"You've done it, Y/N!" he holds your helmet. "And, it's fucking amazing!"

"Thank you, Lew. I couldn't win the championship without you." you're crying, looking at him through the helmet's visor.

Then, you've rushed to the team, the ones who had worked tirelessly to make this dream a reality. The mechanics, the engineers, the strategists, they're all waiting with smiles, giving a tight hug, celebrations filling the air. Next, you've looked out for Toto, who believed in you from the beginning. He embraced you warmly, his eyes filled with pride. "You're a champion, Y/N!" he said, his voice choked with emotion.

In the end, on the the podium, the British National Anthem played, and the championship trophy was given to you, under the watchful eyes of the world, you've finally raised it, jumping on the stand, screaming to the top of your lungs, you're a champion now and someone who's gonna be the inspiration for future generations of women in racing, seeing the team, your mom and dad, the crowd... it's the most happy you've ever been.

Then your eyes've found something way too important to shrug off. Mason. He's got a smile on his face, probably tears in his eyes and you couldn't be happier to look at him. As you've met at the edge of the track, you've took off the helmet and gloves along the way, then jumped on him, hugging him tight and totally unconcerned about the fact that you've kissed while there's hundreds of photographers looking at both of you.

"I'm so proud of you, love." he says as he's wiping the tears from your face. "I'm sorry, I didn't think straight last night, Y/N. You're too important to me and I..."

"Mason, it's ok. You're here, and this is my greatest victory, you." his heart swelled with emotion as he's gazing back at you.

"I've loved you from the moment we met, and that love has only grown with time. But today, seeing you out there, I realized that my love for you isn't just about being with you. It's about believing in you, admiring your strength and determination, and celebrating your victories as if they were my own." tears welled up in your eyes as you've felt the depth of his affection and the sincerity in his words.

“I love you, you’re everything to me.” you kissed him with passion, Mason’s hands on your waist and photographers flashing what was about to be the photo on your phone’s screen.

“I won’t let go of you, ever.” he says, breaking the kiss.

“Don’t, I’ll pretty much enjoy that.” you're laughing, feeling him closer.

In that quiet, heartfelt moment amidst the noises of the track, you've affirmed both of the love you've got, a love that is as powerful as any victory on the track. You're celebrating the championship, not only with the world, but with the love of your life, Mason.

(...)

#mason mount fanfic #mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #mason mount one shot #mason mount x you #mason mount fluff #mason mount #lewis hamilton #mercedes amg f1 #formula 1

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spicywhenspeaking · 6 months

Text

If I’m There Chapter: Twenty-Four

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

Taglist: @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens@thisbicc @laurpartyprogram @concretenoah@thebadchic @madomens@samanthasgone @myownthoughts12@missduffsblog@jilliemiw86 @malerieee @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @badomenslrh @robabankfuckmickeymouse

(You're waiting for the)

Day to come when thеy will notice

(It is time to wake up now)

Fighting battlеs at your lowest

(Your fire is dying out)

Dragging every step forward

But it won't happen again

And I'm not gonna pretend

(I don't want the money)

(Want the money)

Noah sent Erin a CD with a playlist of their songs he hoped she would like. She has been blaring it loudly for days since she opened the package. She’s been listening to it nonstop and now sings along to the lyrics.

Can't say I'm mad, this is entertainment

But I want what they have and I'm gonna take it

And I'm so sorry if I'm cynical

My water's full of chemicals

I don't know what I'm made of anymore

“Sweetie! Lunch is ready!” I call out to her over the sound of the music as I place the plate I made for her, buttered noodles with grilled chicken with roasted broccoli and fresh fruit.

Erin races down the stairs humming along to one of the songs she’s been listening to.

“Yum! Thanks, Mom!” she says, plopping down to dig into her pasta. I sit alongside her and eat my plate.

“So Noah said he will be back in less than a week, we will get a few days to hang out before you go to art camp,” I mention softly and she smiles brightly. “I’m excited to see him again, we should take him to the skating rink where Ashley had her birthday party, Oh! Oh! And we have to have a game night before I go to camp.” she exclaims excitedly. I laugh and nod, “Of course honey, we will have to ask him when he gets into town.” Her smile continues to grow as we talk and I am happy to see her so excited about spending more time with Noah. She talked to me after one of her last therapy sessions and the weight of guilt has lessened tremendously after our conversation. Her little heart is full of so much love. In the future, her feelings may change and she may have more questions or even anger and I am prepared to help her with those feelings when they arise.

After lunch, I drop Erin off at Gwen’s apartment in her senior center to spend some time with her while I head to work for a few appointments I have set up. Gwen is freshly 75 and loving life in her new senior apartment complex and loves having Erin over to hang out. She welcomes us with big hugs and the smell of freshly baked cookies. “My girls, I’m so happy to see you both!” she greets us warmly. “Gweny! Omg, I have so much to talk to you about! Noah sent me some music and it’s awesome! I have to show you some.” Erin gushes to Gwen as she walks into the living room to set her backpack down. “Oh and I brought some paints so we can do some crafts, I wanted to paint the flowers you have on your balcony.”

Gwen with her arm slung delicately around my shoulder laughs softly, “You made the sweetest girl in the world, I hope you know how much of that comes from you.” I rest my head against hers and sigh contently. “Thank you, Gwen, I owe so much of her to you. You have helped so much when I moved and have been there for everything in her life. I’m so grateful for you.” I tell her as Erin runs around Gwens’ new apartment. “Well, I need to head out for my appointments. Hey, little one! I gotta go.” I call over to Erin and she runs to give me a quick hug before going back to explore the new space. I hug Gwen again and kiss her softly on the cheek. “I’ll be back later, maybe closer to 8:30. Thank you again, love you both!” I say to them as I walk out the front door and head back to the car.

My appointments go by fast today, A few line work pieces and the first session of a large back piece. On my way out the door, I get a surprising phone call from Noah.

Hey! Nat, how are you?

Hey Noah! I’m good, just finished up work for the day and I’m about to head to Gwen’s to pick up Erin.

How was your day? Any fun ink?

Haha yes, I started on a sweet back piece that will take a few more sessions to finish.

That is awesome!

So I wanted to call and ask about something.

Oh? What’s up? Is everything okay?

yes, yes, everything is great! I just bought my ticket to Austin and wanted to see if you could grab me from the airport on Thursday?

Oh! Of course, that’s no problem at all.

Are you sure? I mean I could figure out the car rental thing if that’s easier

Oh hush Noah, it’s really not a big deal! We’d be happy to pick you up.

Erin has been talking nonstop about you coming back to town. She’s making many plans to fit in plenty of activities before art camp next week.

Thank you Natty, I’m excited to see you both. My flight will land around 12 pm but our Airbnb won’t be ready until 4 pm. The other guys won’t be out until later next week.

Sounds like a plan! We will scoop you up when you land and grab some lunch, Erin will be happy to hear the news.

Have a good night Natty, Lo- Bye! *click*

“Hello? Noah? Umm okay, bye” I put my phone back in my bag, shake the weirdness off, and just get ready to head to pick up Erin and give her the exciting news.

Gwen texted me what they decided on pizza for dinner, so I quickly run through the Dan’s Hamburgers drive-through to grab a big cheeseburger and curly fries.

Eating my dinner quickly on the road I switch on the radio and turn between channels until I find a familiar female voice. It takes me back to being a little kid in my parent’s car on a long car ride home.

“Hey there, It’s Delilah here with a collection of love songs to set your night off right. I know love comes and goes and I hope you find a love in your life that brings you the most joy and fills your heart with wonder.”

Her soft voice drifts through my car and I settle into listening to the rest of her radio show until I get to Gwen’s. The love songs drift through the air…

So break my step

And relent

You forgave and I won't forget

Know what we've seen

And him with less

Now in some way

Shake the excess

'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you

“Okay, Delilah I get it! I’m figuring it out…just get off my back.” I grumble at the radio and switch it to the next station.

I may not always love you

But long as there are stars above you

You never need to doubt it

I'll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you

“Oh fuck off,” I say as I shut off the radio and complete the ride in silence.

Erin races to the door when we get to the car, “I had so much fun with Gweny but I am sooo tired.” she slugs against the door, and when I click the unlock button she quickly climbs into the seat and reclines it back.

I laugh at her actions, shutting her eyes and curling into herself. “That’s what happens when you stay up all night listening to music silly girl.” I laugh and she groans, “I want to learn all of the lyrics so I can sing along when we go to one of Noah’s shows.” she grumbles sleepy.

“Well they have a break coming up, so you’ll have plenty of time to learn the songs.” I tell her, “Actually, Noah called me after work. He’ll be here Thursday and asked if we could pick him up from the airport on Thursday.” She perks up immediately, springing up from her seat in excitement, “That sounds great! I’m so excited, omg what should we do? We have to show him the diner and oh oh we can take him to the water park! Or we can go rollerblading!” the sleepy child I saw minutes ago is gone and she’s awoken with a new spark.

“Okay baby, we will see what he has the energy for, remember he’s coming off of a long tour, he might just want to grab lunch and hang out at the house. But we will have lots of time to do all of the things you want to.” She’s still glowing with excitement on the drive home. My appointments tomorrow are later in the morning so when we get inside the house we sit in the living room and put on a movie. Erin decides to watch “Encanto”. Haylie is in her room, probably working on her newest book but pokes her head out to say hi and double-check Erin is staying home tomorrow, with a nod of approval she slinks back into her room to finish writing, “Okay byee love youuu!” she calls as the door closes.

Halfway through the movie I look over and see Erin has fallen asleep, I finish the movie wiping tears from my face. “Damn Disney movie,” I mumble. I gently move her upstairs and place her in her bed.

When I am finished freshening up and laying my head down the last thing that goes through my head before sleep takes over. “Have a good night Natty, Love you! Bye.”

My dreams are visions of a future with Noah and Erin. We’re together laughing on the beach, building a sandcastle. I see myself pregnant with another baby, Noah’s eyes brighten up as he places a gentle hand on my stomach and kisses me. Sitting on the sand next to them my hands dig into the sand as the water washes up and the castle returns to the sea. The dream fades and twists into a new vision, Noah and I are arm and arm sitting on the couch watching a movie. The quiet domesticity makes my heart swell, the soft touches and gentle kisses. As his lips move down my neck a quiet gasp escapes me and my eyes shoot open as I vault myself up in bed breathlessly.

“Oh shit.” I say breathlessly, “Keep it together Nat.”

By Thursday morning my nerves from my dream are taking over, I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach as we wait in the lot for Noah to get off his flight.

Noah: hey! I’m at pick-up stop H!

Natalie: Okay! We will be there in a sec! :)

Erin is vibrating with excitement from the backseat and as we turn the corner and see Noah standing with his bags smiling and waving. “There is he! Pull over! Pull over!” Erin yells from behind me. “Okay okay, I have to wait for this car to pass sweetie,” I tell her as a nervous blush creeps up my neck.

I pull up to the side and pop the trunk as Erin shoots out to the car and runs to jump up and wrap her little around Noah. “Noah! You’re back! I’m so excited! What do you what do you want to do? Are you hungry? Me and my Mom like this diner they have the best pancakes!” Erin’s voice rings out and I laugh as I throw the car quickly into park to greet Noah.

“Hey, Erin! I missed you!” he says dropping his bags on the ground to wrap his arms around her and lift her into a big hug, “lunch sounds amazing.” He turns to me placing Erin back on her feet. She attempts to grab his large duffels off the ground as I round the front of the car and the butterflies flutter again as he brings me into a firm hug. “Hey Natty,” he whispers into my hair. “Hey, Noah,” I respond into his chest. Erin struggles with the bag lifting it into the trunk. “Oh, honey -” I start but Noah quickly rushes over to help throw his bags into the back. “Thanks, little one,” he says to her and ruffles her hair.

Noah opens the back door and lets her climb back into the car while I move to the driver’s side as a parking guard starts to look like he’s heading closer. “We’re heading out!” Noah politely waves to the guard and gets into the passenger seat.

Throwing the car back into drive I carefully pull out. “So lunch?” I ask and Noah and Erin agree in unison. “So Erin, your mom says you have a lot of plans? What is first on the list?”

“Do you know how to rollerblade?”

next chapter ->

#noah sebastian #noahsebastian #Noah Sebastian smut #noah sebastian x ofc #Noah Sebastian angst #Noah Sebastian fluff #bad omens fluff #bad omen smut #bad omen fanfiction #bad omen fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens rpf #bad omens smut #noah sebastian fic #lf Im there noah #rpf fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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shradsmanifestt · 1 month

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hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

#law of assumption #loassumption #loa #affirm and persist #loa tumblr #neville goddard #consciousness #loa blog #loatwt #imagination #affirm and saturate #saturate your mind #shradsmanifestt

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ariesqueencobra · 7 months

Text

what we used to be | Vl

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're going on a first date! Queue training montage, you make Eli a get well soon card, and you're at the movies!

Warnings: kissing, dangerous activties, mentions of rabies, shots, and hospitals, injury

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: I'm gonna hop on here and post this real quick. It's a cute chapter and I like it! I already know what direction I want this series to go, but the storyline I have in my head might change if this would be considered an insert fic. I'll probably ask for opinions in the future cause I really don't want it to not be an insert fic so be on the look out for that! I also want to stress the importance of reblogging fics, on mobile you can hold down the two arrows button and quick reblog this post so that other people can see my work! Just liking this story won't do anything to help me as a writer, if you really enjoyed reading it, just do the simple thing and reblog! It would also be appreciated if you commented! Doing those things tell me people want to read this story and want more, which will encourage me to keep writing!

Thank you to those who already reblog and comment, I see you and I love you all for it!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

“Eli, where are we going?” You chuckled, holding onto his hand as he led you through the forest.

The leaves crunched under your feet and the breeze made you shiver so you were grateful you listened to him when he told you to bring a sweater for your first date. Though, you still weren’t sure where that would be or what it was.

You hoped it was romantic, this being your first-ever date after all, but when you almost slipped on some mud, you weren’t too sure about it anymore.

“Trust me, you’re gonna love it,” he grinned, holding you tighter and closer.

You smiled, watching him as he kept his eyes ahead until you turned to see what he was staring at, that’s when you noticed as well. The gasp you let out as you made it onto a dock, the beautiful lake expanding outward, and the trees with orange and yellow leaves made such a breathtaking view.

“You like it?” He asked.

“It’s beautiful,” you shook your head in disbelief, sitting on the edge and letting your feet dangle over the water. “We used to come here all the time, I forgot how amazing the view was.”

“I figured it’d be the perfect spot for our first date,” he smiled, sitting down next to you. “Like old times, but now we can make new memories.”

“So we’re having a picnic?” You beamed, realizing the plastic bag in his hand did hold some purpose.

He handed you the bag and you set it in your lap, rifling through the numerous snacks you loved.

“All your favorites. And your art supplies, I knew you would love to recreate that painting you have in your room,” he suggested.

The scenery was a notable piece in your room, a small collection you had of various locations in the Valley. It was the first collection you ever painted so it was sweet that Eli knew you’d appreciate an opportunity to update a piece.

“Did I ever tell you you’re the best boyfriend ever?” You reached over to kiss his cheek. You were about to reach for your art supplies in your bag when he stopped you, moving your head to kiss you on the lips. It was a long, heartfelt kiss, making you giddy. “Eli,” you giggled pulling away, unable to help your laughter.

“You know you can call me Hawk, right?” He pinched your chin lightly.

You nodded. “But you’re Eli to me,” you explained, gaze softening.

“Yeah but Hawk’s way more badass,” he shrugged.

“I think Eli is just as badass,” you smirked, leaning into his space.

“I guess just you then,” he gave in. “You can call me whatever you want, babe,” he chuckled, pecking your lips one more time.

You both stayed on that dock for hours until your dad was calling for you to come home. The date was simple and small but it was the most memorable night you’ve had with Eli, your boyfriend.

You were standing in the middle of a junkyard, unsure what the purpose of your being here was. But you stood next to Eli and Aisha as you watched as Sensei opened a beer can, chugging it before he wiped his mouth, glancing down at all of you.

“You’ve trained hard. You’ve gotten stronger, tougher, faster. You’ve done your best. You’re ready for this tournament, am I right?”

“Yes, Sensei!” You shouted.

“Wrong!” He slammed the beer on the ground at your feet.

You flinched when the beverage splashed onto you.

“Your best ain’t shit, if you wanna win the tournament, you gotta give me better than your best, which is why from now on, you’re gonna get my worst. Do you understand?” He shouted.

“Yes, Sensei!”

You felt empowered at his pep talk, ready for whatever he was going to throw at you. While part of your mind was sounding alarms that this was dangerous, you ignored it.

“Are you losers?”

“No, Sensei!”

“Are you nerds?”

“No, Sensei!”

“Are you sure?”

“No, Sensei!”

You caught your mistake, biting down on your lip to suppress your laugh. And you saw the way Sensei groaned in response before he commanded the group.

“Move those feet! Go!”

He pointed to where there were a bunch of tires lined up.

Miguel led the way, moving his feet through the holes. Eli was next and you followed behind Eli, weaving your feet through the tires as fast as you could.

“Your enemies are all around you. Destroy them!” Sensei barked.

You began wreaking havoc, smashing the end of the wood plank into the car doors, it was fun and funneling so much anger and hate out of you.

After the short-lived destruction, you were led to a container filled with scrap metal and glass, something that uneased you. The feeling of fear bubbled in your stomach but you swallowed it, knowing fear did not exist.

Miguel made it without a scratch. Then it was Eli’s turn to walk the plank and your breath hitched when his foot slipped. Thankfully he made it and you were able to say you still had a boyfriend. When it was your turn, your legs shook, arms held at either side of you. You crossed, a smile on your face and your boyfriend waiting on the other side with a victory kiss.

Going back to the tires, you were already out of breath, the exhaustion coursing through you and it showed with the rest of the team when Aisha tripped, causing Miguel to fall, then you, then Eli—all on top of each other.

Groaning in pain, Eli’s elbow dug into your back and you tried to get off Miguel without hurting him as well.

“Sorry,” you winced, pushing off your friend’s back once Eli was off you. “You alright?”

“Yeah, Aisha, you good?” Miguel asked to which she nodded, face contorted in pain.

Sensei ordered you all to stand in the middle of the scrap yard, something in his hand.

“If you wanna win, you gotta be hungry. Are you guys hungry?” He handed each of you a piece of jerky.

You grimaced at the smell, wondering if you had to eat it.

“Yes, Sensei!”

“Good, 'cause so are they,” he smirked before blowing a whistle, barks following through.

Your eyes widened and you immediately bolted, jumping onto a car and finding the highest place. Your heart raced as you searched for your friends but as you scanned over the yard, all you could find was a terrified Eli as he attempted to escape a starving dog.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” You asked, hand tracing over the bandages.

It was hours later now and you came over to see your boyfriend after he had to go to the hospital for a rabies shot. You wished you could go, but it was agreed among both your parents that you’d visit him after.

“Yeah, I got pain meds for the bite, the shot didn’t even hurt,” he smirked, lying in his bed.

“I was scared to death,” you blew out a breath. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” you couldn’t help it and threw your arms around him.

He hugged you back, squeezing you tight as you held on. “I’ll live, nothing to worry about, babe,” he reassured.

“I know,” you pulled away, face down. “I spoke to my parents when you were in the hospital, this whole incident made them less happy about me being in Cobra Kai,” you admitted.

“My parents agree,” he sighed, glancing out into the hall where his mom and dad were downstairs. “But they don’t know how much better it’s made us,” he grabbed your hand, squeezing it.

“I know,” you squeezed back. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” he met your gaze, smiling.

“I made you this, by the way,” you reached behind you and grabbed the card you made him.

It read: “Damn, got bit by a dog? That’s ruff, hope you get better soon!” with a drawing of a dog with a mohawk.

“That’s amazing,” he laughed. “Thanks, you’re the best,” he reached over to kiss you on the cheek.

Warmth radiated before you spoke. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, goodnight,” you hugged him again, pulling away and giving him a generous peck on the lips.

He watched as you left his room, hearing you go down the stairs, say bye to his parents, and shut the door.

Your gaze was on the movie but Eli’s constant flicking of candy at other moviegoers was distracting. On top of Aisha asking what was wrong with Miguel. Their conversation was anything but whispering. You began droning in on their conversation, Miguel saying why Sam’s dad would hate him and whatnot.

You were eating some popcorn, taking a sip of your drink, and trying to watch the movie but the side conversation and Eli’s distracting movements were well, distracting.

“Jesus Christ, you’re such a nerd,” he insulted Miguel, stepping into the conversation.

You furrowed your brows, reaching for his hand, sending him a look he brushed off. You rolled your eyes, leaning to the side to rest your head on his shoulder. You smiled when you noticed he paused, staring at you with awe.

Aisha went on to comfort Miguel and you were enjoying the movie again but Eli still managed to throw the candy, pissing you off.

You straightened, leaning on the other side of your seat, and rested your head on your arm, staring bored at the screen.

“Dude, just go over there. It’s an alpha move,” your boyfriend responded to what Miguel was talking about. With another flick of his wrist, a candy hit the back of someone’s head, instantly, a built dude stood up asking who did that, you had to hide your smile at the look on Eli’s face.

After the movie finished, you and Aisha departed from the boys, deciding to go shopping.

“You seemed pretty pissed at Hawk, something going on?” She asked when you entered a store.

“He was being annoying, like why throw candy? It’s wasteful, just watch the movie!” You scolded, rolling your eyes. “I love the dude, but, ugh, sometimes he’s just,” you huffed, unable to find the words.

“A boy?” She finished for you.

“Exactly,” you shook your head, a smile coming on your face.

“This is one of those moments where the saying “boys will be boys” is actually justified,” she raised a brow.

“You get me,” you sighed. “I’m so glad I have a girl friend,” you wrapped your arm around her, walking further into the store.

“Tell me about it,” she agreed.

#eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz imagine #hawk x reader #cobra kai

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rubyroses222 · 4 months

Text

“My children are a bit 50/50 about this. Leon wants me to keep playing, he’s a true Madridista and doesn’t want me to go. Amy however can’t wait to see me riding a horse this summer. I’ve always said to her ‘this is to dangerous, what if I injure myself then I can’t do the preseason.’”

“With Fynn however, I think I managed to retire just in time, so he won’t beat me up about it. This season he was old enough to really understand football and has gone after Leon - true Madridistas both of them. I genuinely think if I would’ve retired next year, Fynn would beat me up.”

[…]

“This season went the way I imagined it to be. I stayed healthy without injuries the whole time, let’s hope this continues until after the euros.” (he laughs)

“I’ve had a lot of fun during the games this season, I relished in the atmosphere of the stadium and enjoyed every single moment. I managed to keep my level; we as a team managed to be successful. That’s always the big goal when you think about retirement: you always want to retire successfully.”

“I think that I can say – even before the Champions League final – that we played a successful season as a team, amazing evenings, amazing games.”

“I always want to retire on a successful level. I never wanted to feel like people from the club or fans had to tell me “time to go now”. A future of spending time on the bench or not playing, always felt like a dent to my career.”

“I’m proud that I can say I’ve made that decision by myself with my family - that’s a beautiful feeling. This decision wasn’t taken for me or without me but BY ME.”

[…]

“Everyone I’ve talked to however says: ‘why now? you could retire next year just as successfully, you still have it in you.’”

“But I don’t want to challenge it. Yes, it could be true that next year is gonna be as great as this one. Plus I’ve already considered retiring last year and I have built a lot of projects next to playing. Now I can actually imagine a life without football - not that I won’t miss football. But a life without all the travelling, without the constant stays in hotels; a life with more time for my family sounds nice.”

“I enjoy the prospect of having time for myself and my family.”

“With Real Madrid I never in all those years had the feeling that you have to deliver on the pitch first in order to be loved. They loved and accepted me at 24 with open arms, which gave me the confidence to play like I do on the pitch. I will forever be grateful for this opportunity.” 🤍

- Toni Kroos, Einfach mal Luppen

#way to make me cry toni #einfach mal luppen #toni kroos #real madrid

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deadricslover · 1 year

Text

tracing roses

a/n: first post for the loml! I'm a harry Stan 'til I die.

summary: with a whole bunch of changes for the future of one direction, harry doesn't know how he will cope and thankfully you're there to comfort him in his favourite ways.

warnings: no established relationship, anxiety, cursing, Zayn leaving :(, mentions of the management ugh (that deserves a full tw), short post?

pairings: lhh styles x sixthmember!reader

I know that the timeline of events doesn't match the real life one but it's all for the post ok?

-------------------------------------------------

What the media portrayed harry to be was the complete opposite of what he was actually like. His reputation was the womanizer, cool and reserved guy who didn't have the time of day for anyone other than the band, and really, it was just unfair because none of that was true. Really, Harry was the sweetest guy who cared for every single person he met and would make a whole room light up with the sparkle in his eyes. Despite what the media thought, He had feelings, and needed comfort here and there like every other person.

This particular upcoming show was an important one, it was Zayn's last show in the band but the public didn't know yet, so they had to make it count. Nobody was really themselves today as they knew they had to make a good impression for management if they wanted to continue touring and making music without him as a five person group. These emotions were hightened due to the overwhelming sudden surge of sadness and loss due to Zayn's news. Zayn was your best friend alongside Harry and you honestly didn't know how you were going to cope with not having him around when writing songs or performing anymore.

You stumble into Harry's dressing room to let him know we will be going on stage soon, but are met with a teary eyed Harry with his head in his hands. You make your way over to him and wrap your arms around him from the back whilst tracing circles on his arm and place your head on his shoulder, comforting him.

"I know, Haz. I know" you whisper kissing his temple slightly.

"this is just such a big change" he cries

"I know. and it's going to be so hard for us all to adjust to. But, we have gotta support his decision" you explain squeezing him a little tighter. he replies with a teary sigh, gazing at you through the mirror silently asking to be comforted

"even though I can't fix it, I can help you through it" you add leaning your head on his, sadly smiling a little bit, closing your eyes momentarily.

"I'm just gonna miss him" he confesses, the tears making their way to his eyes once again. Seeing him upset always made your heart drop with sadness, and a set of your own tears pricks your eyes seeing one of your favourite people upset.

"I know, haz. let it out, ok? I'm right here" you comfort as he stares blankly at the desk ahead of him

"I think that the mix of Zayn leaving and the anxiety because this show being so important is just making me so much more emotional" he explains his feelings and you listen intently the entire time, empathizing with him as you feel the same way. This is about him though, he doesn't need to know.

you plant kiss after kiss onto his face, cheek, temple and hair in comfort and keep twirling pieces of his hair around your fingers to calm him down. He takes a deep breath in and out to regain himself before looking back at you through the illuminated mirror.

"what time are we on?" he asks

"we have time" you lie. you came into him with fifteen minutes before the show and now you're running late, but, for an important reason. You didn't want him suppressing any feelings.

he looks at you confused, not entirely believing you but leaning back into your touch and closing his eyes nonetheless, while tracing shapes onto your arm wordlessly telling you that he's grateful for you.

your moment is rudely interrupted by Louis Bursting in the door chaotically.

"guys, why the fuck aren't you on stage. we are late. stop cuddling and kissing and get out and get your mics" Louis demands

Harry hops up and looks at you accusingly. You shrug and leave the room with him, both of you following Louis to the stage. You get your assigned microphones and head towards the stage. Harry grabs your arm on the way and stops you both, facing you and looking down at you with a hand on your upper arm.

"Thank you so much for that. I don't know what I would do without you, I really don't" he informs you referring to you comforting him, making your heart throb.

"it's nothing, harry. just want to make you feel better" you reply smiling wholeheartedly at him.

"I love you so much" he confesses, wrapping you in a hug around your arms and you slip yours around his waist to reciprocate.

"I love you too, haz. always here for you" you reply before the six of you get on stage and open with clouds, and nobody can deny that this show wouldn't be the same and that you would all be acting different.

halfway through 'story of my life' harry was sitting down towards the back of the stage looking quite down and nervous as he knew come the end of this song, you guys would have the encore and then the show would be over, concluding the chapter with Zayn in the group. you jog to the back and sit down next to him grabbing his hand in yours lightly and he lays his head down onto your shoulder.

"you good?" you ask him

"mhm" he replies humming. you didn't buy it, you knew him better than that.

you look down to his hand in yours and examine his tattoos for a minute. your eyes land on the rose tattoo next to his elbow and the perfect shading. Your thumb starts tracing the petals and thorns on the design, comforting him as he is focusing on the feeling of your hand. You knew this calmed him down. He takes a couple of deep breaths and continues singing after Louis finishes his part whilst visibly calming down yet again. He gets up from where he was sitting and starts walking around the stage interacting with a couple of fans and the guys maintaining the hold on your hand bringing you around while you giggle to yourself. This doesn't go unnoticed by fans and you were sure you would see some twitter posts about it later, but in the moment you didn't care, all you cared about was making him feel better and calming his anxiety about this whole show.

you were super lucky to have a harry in your life. You think everyone should have a harry in their life too. And he feels the same about you, he thinks everyone should have one of you in their life too. But then again, he didn't want to share you with anybody. He loved you comforting him, and knew that you would always be there for him and visa versa.

everyone needs a you and harry pair in their life.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #long hair harry x reader #long hair harry #long hair harry fluff #deadricslover #one direction #one direction imagine

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moldspace · 2 years

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new year new news

hey everyone! wow! 2022 is over! what a year! i made a lot of art, had some cool opportunities (painting a mural!!!) and some challenging transitions (quitting my job, switching academic programs!) but i think, overall, i’m glad to put this one in the rear view mirror.

now, to get out of the rear view mirror and look forwards into the metaphorical windshield - my resolution this year is to MAKE MORE ART and to GET OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE and with that in mind, my first actionable goal for 2023 was...

to start a patreon!

not gonna lie, i’ve been just as nervous as i’ve been busy setting this up the past few weeks (and the imposter syndrome has kicked in HARD), but hey, doing new things is always scary and awkward. and i really wanted a good excuse to put some time and energy into behind-the-scenes stories, progress shots, sketchbook pages that aren’t pretty enough to post on their own, and rambling talks about the winding path my own art tends to follow. so maybe check it out and throw some money my way, if you’ve got extra and are curious!

currently i’ve just got one $3 tier up, but i’m sure that will change and evolve as i figure out what i’m doing. but what can i access with three dollars, i hear you ask? well...

full digital copies of all of my zines! with transcripts, and personal commentary!

polls! maybe i'm making new stickers and don't know which design to go with, maybe i'm amassing work for an update and don't know if i should make some more selkies or some more sphinxes - these polls will help ME decide what to make more of, and help YOU ALL see more of what you want from me. win-win!

behind the scenes posts and videos! i have to admit that i harbor a secret love for video editing, but I have so far had no real outlet for it (aside from the AMVs that i occasionally make in a fugue state and NO i’m never showing them to a soul) - but i've just filmed and edited the first full start-to-finish process video for patreon! watch me make a ceramic beasty from sketch to glaze firing, with full voiceover commentary (my voice was once described by a child as “why do you sound like that? you sound like you’re going to cry” so look forward to that!) i have plans in the future for tutorial posts and videos, more process timelapses, and full behind the scenes zine-making retrospectives, from writing to illustrating to binding.

this month (january 2023) only, sign up as a patron and i will personally send a little doodle to your house! yes, like in the mail. feel free to send me a prompt with your pledge, otherwise it’ll probably be some sort of creature with a human face and stars on it. maybe it will still be that, even if you give me a prompt.

finally, you will get my eternal gratitude! i truly cannot thank you all enough for the support and love over the years. it's been such an amazing honor to find other people who like the wacky little critters i make, and whether you've purchased art from me, follow me, or are even just someone who's seen and liked a piece of mine, i am forever grateful to be able to connect across space and time, with you, over art.

whether or not you decide to pledge, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! i am so lucky to have this space on tumblr to share my work - every kind comment means the world to me, and i just hope my work can be enriching to your worlds in some small way, too! i know making it enriches mine :^)

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munson-blurbs · 3 months

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@corrodedcoffinfest Day 8: Band Politics

Word Count: 614/Rating: T/Pairing: none/CW: conflict, mild political discourse/Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth, Jeff, Grant, Robin Buckley, angst, arguments

Divider credit to @silkholland

December 1988

“They want us to do what?”

Eddie can hardly believe his ears. This must be the result of too many years of loud music, riffs heard from The Hideout to Madison Square Garden. No, there is absolutely no way–

Robin gives the boys a look that says she’s just as shocked as they are. “I asked if they had the wrong number. But, nope. They want you to play at Bush's inauguration.”

“No fucking way.” Eddie drums his fingers on his chair, glancing around the band manager’s office. “The same assholes who spent the last five years telling us that our music was the work of Satan are now asking us to play at the White House?”

“Technically,” Jeff interjects, “they’re asking us to play at the Capitol.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, crossing one leg over the other. “Whatever. The point stands–we’re not doing it.”

“Says who?” Gareth scoffs.

“Yeah, don’t we get a vote?” Grant’s voice takes on a challenging tone; it grates at Eddie like nails on a chalkboard. “I didn’t realize that this was the Eddie Munson Band.”

They can’t be serious, Eddie thinks. They’re just giving me a hard time. Busting my balls.

Robin speaks up before any of them can talk again. “It’ll draw plenty of attention. No one is expecting Corroded Coffin to be at the inauguration.” She grazes her teeth over her lower lip, peeling back a bit of pale pink lipstick. “Talk it over, but we need an answer by tomorrow.”

“We already have our answer. It’s a big, fat, no way in hell.”

Gareth stands up, placing himself right in front of Eddie. “We have the chance to play in front of the entire country, and you’re gonna throw that away, for what?”

“To prove a point.”

“What point? That we don’t want more people listening to our music?”

“That we’re not sell-outs!” Eddie slammed his fists on the chair’s wooden arms. “I’m not gonna kiss politicians’ corrupt asses just for a few more fans. It goes against everything we stand for!”

Jeff sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “Okay, but picture this: kids watching the inauguration, their parents and teachers thinking that they’re getting this great educational experience, and then—BOOM! They hear real music for the first time in their lives. Because of us.” He raises his brows. “This performance could shape the future of metal.”

Eddie chortles. “‘Shape the future of metal’? What kind of kumbaya bullshit is that?” Pretending not to notice the hurt on his friend’s face, he digs his heels in deeper. “How about the fans we already have thinking that we’re pro-government. Might as well stop playing all of our songs about anarchy.”

Grant gets to his feet next. “It’s three against one, dude. Just give it up. We can’t throw away this opportunity.”

“Well, good luck going on without your lead singer.” With that, Eddie storms out. A pit lays where his stomach should be, heavy with the weight of anger.

The guys could do whatever they wanted. They could bend over and spread ‘em for those hoity-toity politicians. All of the new fans they might acquire means nothing if they had to sell their souls to get them.

Eddie had spent all of his teenage years living with the rumors of devil-worshiping escapades masquerading as Dungeons & Dragons campaigns. He certainly wasn’t going to start worshiping actual evil entities—the ones who sat in their gigantic mansions and cut welfare and foodstamps and Social Security benefits without batting an eye—just for more fame.

Maybe I’m an asshole, he thinks, pushing open the door and stomping into the lobby, but at least I’m not a goddamn sell-out.

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #fanfic #corroded coffin #corroded coffin fest #gareth emerson #jeff corroded coffin #grant corroded coffin #robin buckley

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foxyaries · 1 month

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The New Beginning Of My Void Journey

Hi! So I don't wanna disclose my real name but you can just call me fox! 🦊 I have never posted here before so I am not sure how to do this but I figured I finally need to get my life together and maybe me doing this here will be the push that I so desperately need 🥲

So I'm gonna keep this very short but I started my manifestation journey back on 2018! And throughout the time I have learnt and unlearnt so many different things but I am so grateful for the knowledge I have right now. I have not shifted or reached the void before but I do have one an extremely close attempt that if anyone is even gonna be interested in reading this I will be more than happy to share! I think it was the reason why even still to this day I have not given up ♡

The reason decided to do this is cause I really need my life to change right now. Otherwise I don't know what I am gonna do with myself or my future and it's terrifying. I am sure some of you are going to relate 🥲 And it's okay because we all go through this.

The other day I've received a link to the self made tape from this creator @adambja. I have already started listening to it and that together with whatever methods work for me is how I'll restart my journey. Last night was my first attempt and my next post is going to be about it! 🙂‍↕️🫡 If anyone is even gonna read this please do look forward to it haha

.....Yeah I definitely don't know how NOT to rant 😂 But this is how I'll end this post. If anyone has any questions I'll be more than happy to answer it!

P.s. English isn't my first language and I was in a rush while making this so I'm sorry for any mistakes I made and didn't notice 🫡🚶🏻‍♀️

#void state success #void state #void #shifting community #reality shifting #shifting #shifting motivation #success story #loassumption #desired reality #manifestation #manifesting

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not-goldy · 4 months

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I'm to think Jikook with their coincidental lyrics & both having the same brain, same wording, writing similar "fAn" songs that seem to answer each other, were written as gifts for their ungrateful vile haters (none of you are real fans) who complain about them 24/7 & call Jikook fanservice company puppets every day, with Jikook knowing that you do that? * glares * lol I'm not gonna say anything. Everyone can agree to disagree about songs, as long as its clear that never in your twisted, demented, foolish heads, will you ever be Jimin's love, his baby, his dangshin. Don't even go there. Anyways. Just gonna leave some banger lyrics here to enjoy from the Ace Duo, because we all miss Jikook.

LETTER

Baby, don't leave Just stay by my side To you, who see me bigger than what my little self is So that I can give back as much as I’ve received So that I can keep my word Don't worry just stay by my side We don’t know what the future holds And that’s scary and makes us afraid But don’t forget that we’re always together

NEVER LET GO

I'm grateful (For you) It's simple (With you) I'll never (Leave you) I'm better (With you) It's too good (With you) It's my turn to give back for all that you do Everybody needs somebody You been that somebody So stay with me and keep holding on. Never Let Go Without your love I'm nothing

WITH YOU

I'm nothing without your love I promise I'll never leave your love Dear My love, love, love Right here beside you still walking wherever you go

STILL WITH YOU

That faint voice of yours that grazed me Please call my name one more time We laugh together, we cry together I want to walk this path with you Still with you

CLOSER THAN THIS

I could never let you go Never let you go My love, my babe, forever by your side Close your eyes for just a second, I'll be standing in front of you. We walked it together, alongside each other At times, I fell and shed tears We comforted each other, with a pat on the back Gazing at one another with tears in our eyes Calling out each other's names

STANDING NEXT TO YOU

Screaming, I testify that we'll survive the test of time They can't deny our love They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time I promise I'll be right here Standing next to you Standing in the fire next to you.

Deep sigh

Can't defend them on this to be honest

I just can't

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racerchix21 · 1 month

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These are my people

My entry for day 3 of @bucktommypositivityweek: Meeting each others friends and family

Nonna Carmelina was inspired by Riley’s Nonna stories (@rdng1230)

They’ve been dating 4 months when Tommy comes over after a shift and drops the bombshell. Bucks grateful he’s sitting when the words ‘so my mom and Nonna wanna meet you’ leave Tommy’s lips because he’s almost positive he would’ve fallen otherwise. He can tell by the way that Tommy looks nervous that it’s caught him off guard too.

“They wanna meet me? Like the 2 most important women in your life wanna meet me,” Buck questions reaching over to grasp Tommy’s arm. “How do you feel about me meeting them babe? I know you’re pretty protective of both of them and we can hold off on me meeting them if you want.”

“I should be the one reassuring you about meeting them and here you are telling me that we can hold off,” Tommy says pulling his arm out of his boyfriends grasp to instead tangle their fingers together.

“T, baby I know that you met my family so quick after we got together. Quite literally a couple dates and a few after we met so I understand if you don’t wanna rush me meeting yours,” Buck answers squeezing Tommy’s hand 3 times in their silent way of saying I love you without using the words.

Tommy cracks a small smile before squeezing Buck’s hand in reply. “Yeah Nonna called me this morning and asked if we’d wanna come over for Sunday supper this weekend. She and my mama wanna meet the man who’s been making me so happy the last few months. I told them I’d ask you and call them later.”

“Yeah let’s go have supper with your family,” Buck says excitedly. “I wanna meet the women who helped to shape the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I know I should be nervous about it but from everything you’ve told me your mom and Nonna sound like strong independent badass ladies and I can’t wait.”

“You really wanna meet them? They’d understand if you decided you wanted to hold off longer.”

“Baby are you okay with me meeting them?”

“Of course I want you to get to know them. It’s just your first boyfriend I’ve had where I can see myself having a future with them. And I’m gonna shut up now.” He’s trying to extract his hand so he can get up to pace.

“First of all I’m honored that you can see a future with me because believe it or not I see the rest of my life being spent with you too. Second of all Thomas if you wanted to right this second to fly to Vegas and get married by a guy in a really bad Elvis costume I’d ask when we were leaving.”

When Tommy chuckles Buck knows he’s succeeded in getting his man to relax. “So tell me what I need to know about them.”

“My mom just moved here to Corona to help my Nonna. Mom finally found the strength to leave my father last year and this move has been really good for both of them. You can call my mom Andi and Nonna Lina.”

“Andi and Lina huh? Noted. Anything else or do you go curl up on the couch and watch a movie?”

“Well what else you wanna know?”

“What kind of people are they? Obviously you’re pretty great so they’re amazing too but what’s your favorite memory of them?”

“They’re amazing Evan. Going to my Nonna’s every weekend was the thing I looked forward to every week. Her house was the only place where my dad never dared raise his voice or a hand to mom and I either one. She put the fear of God and Nonna in him early on in his relationship with my mom. I’m pretty sure she had him convinced for awhile that she had Italian mob connections so he knew better than to hit either of us when Nonna Lina was around.”

“The mob huh? She sounds like a real firecracker so what about your mom then?”

“She is a firecracker and my god my mom is as stubborn as the day is long. She protected me the best she could against my dad. She’s not afraid to fight to protect her family and honestly you’re a lot like her babe. She stands up for the little guy regardless of the odds stacked against her.

Hey you think maybe we could go watch a movie now,” Tommy asks through a yawn.

“Of course. Give me a couple minutes and I’ll be right there and we can watch Love, Actually or whatever movie Hallmark has on,” Buck answers heading for the stairs to grab a huge blanket to wrap Tommy up in.

*****

Sunday dawns faster than either of them anticipates and he finally feels himself getting nervous because these are the women who shaped the love of his life into who he is.

Now sitting in the passenger seat of Tommy’s truck he’s trying to calm his breathing. “You’re absolutely positive they wanna meet me?”

“Yes baby. When I called Thursday morning before my shift Nonna squealed at the fact you agreed to come meet them. Knowing her and mom they’ve probably been prepping food since I got off the phone with them,” Tommy answers placing his hand on his boyfriends thigh to squeeze it before lacing their fingers together.

“They’re gonna love you like I do. Now come on let’s go in before Nonna comes out here and drags us in,” Tommy says pulling up in front of a cute little bungalow set back from the street.

Just as Buck opens his door to step out he’s met with two blurs as Lina and Andi come flying across the yard to hug Tommy before finding himself with an armful of Tommy’s Nonna.

“You must be Buck. Our Tommaso has told us so much about you but he must of forgotten to mention how handsome you are. TOMMASO how could you not tell us he was adorable,” Lina asks glaring at Tommy.

“Nonna,” Tommy groans good naturedly.

“Well aren’t you gonna introduce us,” his mom asks tapping her foot staring at her son.

“Yes sorry. Evan this is my mom Andriana and my Nonna Carmelina. Momma, Nonna this is my boyfriend Ev-Buck,” Tommy stumbles over Buck’s name.

“Well Buck it’s nice to finally meet the boy that’s been making our Tommy so happy,” Andi says pulling Buck into a hug.

“It’s nice to meet both of you too, ma’am.”

“Come let’s go grab some drinks before we ask Buck a bunch of questions,” Nonna calls over her shoulder leading everyone back into the house.

Leaning in Tommy whispers in his boyfriends ear, “sorry about that Ev. Nonna gets bossy when it comes to her family and I’m pretty sure she’s already claimed you as one of hers.”

Spinning to give Tommy a kiss, Buck laughs because it’s nice to have a couple more women who care about him and tells Tommy as much.

***

Finishing a delicious supper and helping to clean up the kitchen, Nonna reminds Buck that he’s always welcome to come visit with or without Tommy. “Now Buck before you guys leave just remember I have connections to people who can make you disappear so take care of my grandson, okay?”

“Yes ma’am,” Buck dutifully answers leaning down to kiss her cheek before stepping back into Tommy’s embrace. “I have no plans to hurt Tommy. I’d rather cut off my own limbs than hurt him I promise.”

@evansboyfriend @ohlookitsthearkhamknight @waywaychuck @obsessivebisexual4tevan @cliophilyra @bidisasterevankinard @betterkeepmewetterthanabayou

#evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy #bucktommypositivityweek

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