#gender dypshoria

[transenbyconfessions]

The other day I saw someone identifying as a trans man and a lesbian. As another trans guy I’m kinda confused. If your a guy how can you also be a lesbian? I feel like that would personally give me so much dysphoria. I don’t want to disrespect what someone identifies as, I really want to understand.

[micahthemoon]

March 1 2023

I accidentally observed a guy walking out of the fitting room. He had his hand covering himself, and it was only a second before I quickly looked away. Yet the experience filled me with gender envy of the sad kind. I’d hoped today would be great for finding new gender affirming clothes – instead I ended up comparing myself to everybody and coming up short. I’ll probably never have as flat a chest as that guy. The one thing I bought today was a new gender dysphoria hoodie.

[shittywriterbrain]

polly experiencing reverse gender dypshoria in the year of our lord 1966

[redditreceipts]

Thank you for collecting examples and receipts. It's shit work, but im glad someone is doing something in the face of all this madness.

thank you! 💕

but actually it's not really any work. people think that I scroll for hours through reddit until I find something to be mad about, but that's really not the case. I have one reddit account where I am subscribed to all of the major trans subreddits, and let's look how long it takes to find some weird-ass behaviour.

So I looked through r/egg_irl for 13:34 minutes and this is what I found:

a person who makes this super sexualised "gender euphoria" avatar of themselvses, once again proving that they are a man

"uwu if I am not my super hot gay male fantasy femboy twink that I masturbate to daily, I won't transition at all"

"transfem's" imagination of what a girls sleepover looks like:

"heyyy :3 I was actually an incel before I transitioned, but now I recognise that my vile misogyny and hatred for women was actually ✨gender envy✨ and totally fine! UwU"

"I wanted to wear a skirt when I was little, must mean that I am actually a girl because girl = skirts and boy = pants"

here we have the "femboy twink" again, also this guy looks like he is about 16 years old (yeah fetishisation of gay men let's go)

"hey I feel bad about not having gender dypshoria" (for some reason, as if gender dysphoria is not one of the most soul-crushing feelings to exist)

"ehm not having dysphoria is also a form of dysphoria so you're fine actually"

so yeah, that's just what I found in 13 minutes and 34 seconds. it's more tedious to screenshot that shit than to find it. it's literally so easy.

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

Rhys you KNOW how obsessed I am with daddy issues but also t4t firstprince always xoxo MJ/kiwiana-writes

HI!

yes, so daddy issues is sitting pretty at 40K but I'm just stuck on a chapter and also I realized that the big bang is approaching so much more quickly than expected... so it's on hiatus. a fun fact about that that'll I'll reveal since this probably won't get seen by too many people: I'm stuck on the scene where Henry goes with Alex to celebrate Día de los Muertos in San Diego with Alex's extended family. I'll return to her some day! hopefully when the big bang fic is in a better place.

T4T firstprince!! this is childhood friends to lovers, inspired by @gayrootvegetable. my goal is to post during pride month.

a couple fun facts:

Right now, every scene is a single or double drabble

Henry realizes he's trans before Alex. Though he didn't quite always know he was trans in the way he always knew he was gay in the book, he feels and recognizes gender dypshoria and euphoria from a young age.

Alex embraces girlhood for a bit longer, but the signs will be obvious to him looking back (hmmm I wonder what I'm basing that on)((me. it's me))

Thanks!!!!

WIP list here, asks open!

[thatstormygeek]

That’s because the Cass Review rejects the affirming model of care embraced by groups in the US like the American Psychological Association or the American Academy of Pediatrics and instead openly regards medical transitions as an unjustifiable last step to be pursued after blaming a child’s gender nonconformity on anything and everything else—social influences, comorbid mental health disorders, or the influence of social media among them. Contrary to its stated aims, the Review further pathologizes gender nonconformity itself, claiming “social transitions”—which can be as simple as a new haircut and clothes—”may change the trajectory of gender identity development” and thus should be avoided, a slippery slope argument that suggests letting your son play with Barbies will invariably lead to a vaginoplasty so best to hand him the monster truck and nip it in the bud. Most tellingly, the review claims limiting access to hormone treatments for adults may be advisable, theorizing “a follow-through service continuing up to age 25 would remove the need for transition at this vulnerable time and benefit both this younger population and the adult population.” The overall recommendation is to force patients to wait through psychological busywork and relevant-sounding delays, implementing a largely-arbitrary set of hoops to jump through with the hopes the patient just gives up. Focus on the patient’s anxiety, focus on their autism, focus on any other issue except their gender and their desire for a sex change because, as private British medical provider GenderGP said of the report’s underlying assumptions, “cisgender lives are judged to be more valuable or desirable than transgender lives and that healthcare services should prioritise encouraging youth to assume cisgender lives, regardless of the suffering that this causes.”

This is a democratic vision of medicine that doesn’t disregard empirical measures but, in fact, acts in their defense. These advocates rightfully recognizes that standards of evidence often regarded as “objective” are frequently enough built on the subjective biases of researchers and practitioners and the subjectivity of patients is a necessary corrective. Clearly, however, many politicians and right-wing activists are eager to have the medical state return to its role as a reliable partner for eugenic social engineering, closing paths toward “subjective satisfaction” and forcing patients towards rigid, essentialist understandings of not only who gets to be a man or woman but what men and women are for. You see this not only in the Cass Review nor just in regards to transgender medicine; it was a rife theme in the Supreme Court filings and arguments over the FDA’s approval of the abortion drug mifepristone, where a conservative set of doctors—one of whom also authored Indiana’s ban on gender-affirming care—demanded the return of restrictions against the drug which advocates long-held were based in stigma, not evidence.

[...]

The state doesn’t claim banning this care is in the best interests of transgender children—it simply asserts nothing in the Constitution prevents it from doing so. This is why transgender people’s autonomy will either spring from our own humanity and subjectivity or not at all: That right is limited when it is only granted with the blessing of pathology because, when asked to choose between their relationship to power or their relationship to their patients, many doctors like Dr. Cass will go leaps and bounds to choose their power over their patients. For much of the cisgender public—and even some trans advocates—that may come as a surprise. Gender transitions are understood as the treatment for a condition called gender dypshoria rather than a human right. And while the distress and dissociation that we call “dysphoria” is real, gender dysphoria’s existence as a diagnosis is simply the key that unlocks the cage transsexual people are put in to deny us autonomy over our own bodies, tying us to the conditional good will of a biased and compromised medical state.

The doctors who wish to once again be the masters of their abortion patients are now limited to the few cranks and conservative activists who would sign up to overturn the FDA’s approval of mifepristone. Because transgender people’s autonomy challenges more assumptions about gendered life than abortion does, however—negating not just patriarchal power but the naturalized gender binary that serves as its foundation—and transgender people ourselves are still denied representation among the decision-making institutions that govern this care, the doctors running that playbook against us are welcomed as liberators by media outlets and politicians already convinced a transgender life is an unlivable life. As much as 19th-century gatekeepers couldn’t fathom a woman that would want to end a pregnancy in the absence of a life-threatening emergency, 21st-century gatekeepers still can’t fathom the desire to change one’s sex—particularly when the world still treats trans people like shit. Our “subjective satisfaction” is thus steamrolled by supposedly “objective” measures constructed around that failure of their own imagination, our misery living in a transphobic world treated as simply yet another reason to do away with transsexual life altogether.

[cripple-punk-dad]

As someone with a lot of gender thoughts lately, your content makes me feel better. I was wondering what you might suggest for resources to help figure out, because while I don’t have dysphoria I just don’t feel like a woman I guess. And anything helps. I feel like it’s scary and hard to come to any exact conclusion and what that would mean if I start identifying as a trans man or nb but it’s nice following someone who is. Thanks for I guess letting me spill this out and hope you’re doing well.

I am doing alright!Thank you! I am sorry for taking so long to answer this. And, honestly it can be very scary to come out as a trans man or even just transmasculine. There's a lot of societal gaslighting, and most trans men I know have started out by identifying as a butch lesbian, or non-binary, etc. Not saying all butch lesbians are trans men and all non-binary folks are trans mascs that are closeted, but you get the idea.

Here's something that helps me a lot: You do not have to have gender dysphoria in order to be transgender. I personally suffer from some pretty sever gender dysphoria, but I know a lot of trans men and trans masc folks that don't have much dypshoria or they do and it just presents differently. The fact that you feel like you're not a woman could very well be a manifestation of gender dysphoria. What really matters is the experience of gender euphoria. If you feel happier identifying as a man or as non-binary, then do it! There's nothing wrong with that, you aren't going to hurt anyone and you aren't taking resources away from anyone.

As for what identifying as a trans man or as non-binary means, that's a little trickier to answer. Societally, you will probably face pushback. Loved ones might not understand, they might downright reject you. It will hurt. Just, please remember that your happiness, and your safety is the most important thing. You can come out to yourself and not anyone else, and that doesn't make you any less queer. You don't have to physically transition if that's not what you want, you don't even have to change your physical appearance if you don't want to. You only have to transition as much as you want to.

I hope this helped you somewhat, if you have any more questions please feel free to ask, I'm always happy to help!

[shaftking]

I think it's possible for cis people to experience gender dypshoria, just to give an example I have a friend who has very masculine features, squarish hands, strong jawline, hairier than most women, not very curvy and she's expressed to me how it causes her a lot of distress and frustration because these are more or less male features. I know she's talked to her doctor about getting some kind of hormones to reduce them and bring out female attributes instead. It's not the same as a trans person's GD but a lot of terfs act like feeling discomfort at mismatched sex characteristics is some degenerate, abnormal thing when I know cis people who've expressed similar feelings and have actively taken steps to try and correct features that don't match up. I mean there's cis men who develop breasts and seek treatment from doctors cause it makes them severely uncomfortable and yet they act like a trans person expressing the same is somehow so incredibly different and nothing alike in any way, shape, or form, it's ridiculous

Of course people who have traits of the other gender, such as cis women with excess body hair as a result of hormonal disorders and things like PCOS, should be able to speak about it but I think there should be another term that isn’t “gender dysphoria” to do it. However, you’re right and I think we should be careful with conflating a cis persons insecurity with their body but still being okay with their birth sex and a trans persons overwhelming desire to be the other.

It’s super normal for people to have insecurity about their lack of strong gendered traits, like men who don’t grow much facial hair or aren’t very muscled and women who have smaller hips/flat chests or deeper voices. I think the thing that needs to be discussed is when seeking medical intervention is needed and when something should be recognized as just a natural variation within the two human sexes.

But yeah, TERFs really do treat the secondary sex characteristics as two highly distinct groups of traits with zero overlap, when reality has a lot of short men with no facial hair and higher voices and tall women with a lot of body hair and no curves. It’s the reason that they “clock” a lot of cis women as being trans women for having one or two of these overlap traits. The way we recognize someone’s sex is often a split second intuitive pattern recognition reflex not “is this thing pink or blue.”

[figuring-it-all-out]

Random Genderfluid Thing #775

My Gender: Let’s spend an hour picking out an outfit you’ll like! Me: An hour? My Gender: Yes. Me: But, I’m just going to the movies. My Gender: Uh huh. Me: So you want to spend an hour on an outfit before I sit alone in a dark theater where no one can see me? My Gender: It’ll help your dysphoria. Me: Crap, ok.

[bigtransmoods]

I’m eleven months on T and it’s been my first month without shark week! I’M SO HAPPY.

[transenbyconfessions]

so i'm nonbinary (genderfluid/multigender/whatever) and for the past couple of years i've been struggling to figure out if i want top surgery or not. One day i would crave it, then the next i'd feel like 'no, top surgery will actually give me more dysphoria'. I would obsess over it trying to make a decision, which only made me feel worse. I've finally reached the conclusion that i do not need top surgery, not now. And that's not because i'm 100% okay with my chest (i'm mostly neutral about it), but simply because i genuinely don't know if i want it, so i won't force it. The thing that brings me more relief is: i can always get top surgery later in life (and i probably will once i'm older and my skin gets saggy). But right now i'm okay with things as they are. It's not perfect but i don't know what perfect looks like to me right now and life won't end in my twenties. After reaching this conclusion, my dysphoria has actually decreased Quite a bit. And something that really helped me figure myself out and kinda just feel more like myself, were butch identities. There's just smth about butch people and the range of what 'butch' is and the vagueness of it that just Speaks to me even though i wouldn't describe myself solely as butch. I don't know what it is about it but it just helps me feel more comfortable in my own skin,, so yeah shout out to butch people i love yall

[micahthemoon]

February 13 2023 Second appointment with a chiropractor today. It has been great so far given that I can feel an exponentially bettering of my back from Friday till now. What is less nice however is that the gosh darn bed is making me extra aware about my boobs since they are not liking the position at all. And having a chiropractor walking down your curves is not my definition of gender either. Mix this with the fact that mostly women get backpain and you have a playground for my dysphoria.

[trans-matters]

Hey! I identify as neutrois most of the time (i want to look neutral and have a lot of ugly dysphoria about feminine & masculine attributes). But lately it's like every new day theres a new "feeling". For example wanting to be a girl, a boy, androgynous, neutral etc. I believe its because of my trauma-related mental illnesses. Inner dissociated parts may have different genders. But it drives me absolutely crazy. I dont want to be genderfluid. There are too many lables and too many fights already

When you are dealing with so many different feelings of dysphoria and trauma like this the best advice I can give is to see a gender therapist and talk about the feelings you are having so you can sort out what is trauma and what is dysphoria. Then you can begin to move forward and have a fulfilling life and not have this trauma weighing over your head. 

Kyle

[danielnelsen]

Hey folks, I wrote an article about how “concerned” politicians and parents need to leave transgender kids alone, check it out and feel free to reblog or share it in other ways!

(it’s from an Australian perspective, with some references to local politics, but it’s pretty internationally applicable imo)

[pacific-rawr]

So?? Confession? Idk.

I’m on my computer once again (woo hoo, finally) and I want to make a confession of sorts to those of you who don’t know me IRL.

Ready?

I’m “truscum”. Whatever the fuck that means. 

No, not the type that insults you if you claim to be agender or bigender or genderfluid or whatnot, but the type that says you are not transgender if you do not experience dysphoria. Suck it up kiddos. You’re making it harder on those of us who actually are seriously being hurt and mentally fucked by dysphoria -- and guess what? If you make it seem like it is NOT  a medical issue, poor or financially troubled trans people couldn’t afford it, since insurance wouldn’t cover what it covers now. Yeah. Sorry we all aren’t rich (mostly) white kids, who can pay for medical transition out of pocket.

Secondly? How can you tell your gender is off if you don’t feel dysphoria?? Which is the feeling of an off gender??? Common knowledge. If you are uncomfortable, unrepresented, disconnected, or hurt from your assigned sex, then you’re trans. Not much else I can tell you there. If you just do it because “I want to be a boy <3″ or some shit like that, no. You’re not trans. You’re faking it and hurting others. Doesn’t have to be body dysphoria!! You are trans if you expecrience ANY dysphoria, social, mental, or physical!!

Oh, and one last time if people forgot what I wrote up there earlier -

I SUPPORT BIGENDER, AGENDER, GENDERFLUID, DEMIS, AND ALL THAT JAZZ.  Link is >>here<< for who is concerned with what I feel is not special snowflake bs.

Go ahead and send me hate if you want, idc. You’re not going to change my mind on this, because I listen to common knowledge moreso than some person on the internet. If you’re so butthurt about somebody pushing their ideas, why push your own? Hypocritical, isn’t it? :3

[cryptoidantagonist]

@ my brain im sorry i cant be him,,,,,,,,,