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gardenschedule · 1 month

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John not meaning what he says

You know, we all say a lot of things when we don’t know what we’re talking about. I’m probably doing it now, I don’t know what I say. You see, everybody takes you up on the words you said, and I’m just a guy that people ask all about things, and I blab off and some of it makes sense and some of it is bullshit and some of it’s lies and some of it is — God knows what I’m saying. I don’t know what I said about Maharishi, all I know is what we said about Apple, which was worse.

John Lennon: The Rolling Stone Interview, Part One

“It’s sort of complicated but sometimes you say things, but it’s not really what you meant to say. If I say something to you and you hear it different from what I’ve said it, and you answer back and we’re not really getting down to it. I’m really talking like that you know. Like somebody says ‘do you want ice cream?’ and I’ll say no, and actually I meant yes. You find yourself saying the opposite of what you mean. This happens to me quite a lot. I speak a lot, but what I say is not always what I mean.“

John Lennon, 1973.

‘I was told recently by Yoko that one of the things that hurt John over the years was me going off and doing The Family Way,’ Paul says. The filmmaking Boulting brothers had approached him via George Martin. ‘I thought this was a great opportunity. We were all free to do stuff outside the Beatles and we’d each done various little things.’ When he mentioned it to John, Paul said, ‘He would have had his suit of armour on and said: “No, I don’t mind.”

Paul McCartney, c/o Ray Coleman, McCartney: Yesterday and Today. (1995)

But by the time I arrived, an agitated John was deeply involved indeed. More specifically, he was having a row with Paul and George Martin. “We’ve already done the concept album,” he argued, presumably referring to Pepper. “Why do we need to do another one?” “Look, John, we’re just trying to think symphonically,” George replied. “We’re trying to create a complete work out of song fragments.” John was derisive at first, saying, “You’re taking yourselves too seriously,” but when Paul invited him to contribute some compositions of his own to the medley, he seemed to capitulate. “Well, I might have one or two that could fit,” he said sheepishly. I exchanged glances with Paul. I’m sure we were both thinking the same thing: He’s just been waiting to be asked.

Here, There and Everywhere - Geoff Emerick, Howard Massey

SHEFF: But you didn’t compose your stuff separately, as other accounts have said? JOHN: No, no, no. I said that, but I was lying. [Laughs.] By the time I said that, we were so sick of this idea of writing and singing together, especially me, that I started this thing about, “We never wrote together, we were never in the same room.” Which wasn’t true. We wrote a lot of stuff together, one-on-one, eyeball to eyeball.

John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

PLAYBOY: "When you talk about working together on a single lyric like "We Can Work It Out,' it suggests that you and Paul worked a lot more closely than you've admitted in the past. Haven't you said that you wrote most of your songs separately, despite putting both of your names on them?" LENNON: "Yeah, I was lying. (laughs) It was when I felt resentful, so I felt that we did everything apart. But, actually, a lot of the songs we did eyeball to eyeball."

John Lennon, 1980

“No, no, no,” he answered and he meant it. “I’m going to be an ex-Beatle for the rest of my life so I might as well enjoy it, and I’m just getting around to being able to stand back and see what happened. A couple of years ago I might have given everybody the impression I hate it all, but that was then. I was talking when I was straight out of therapy and I’d been mentally stripped bare and I just wanted to shoot my mouth off to clear it all away. Now it’s different. “When I slagged off the Beatle thing in the papers, it was like divorce pangs, and me being me it was blast this and fuck that, and it was just like the old days in the Melody Maker, you know, ‘Lennon Blasts Hollies’ on the back page. You know, I’ve always had a bit of a mouth and I’ve got to live up to it. Daily Mirror: ‘Lennon beats up local DJ at Paul’s 21st birthday party’. Then we had that fight Paul and me had through the Melody Maker, but it was a period I had to go through.

John Lennon, interview w/ Ray Coleman for Melody Maker: Lennon – a night in the life. (September 14th, 1974)

GEORGE: I remember the day when John did an interview with a certain magazine and said certain things, and then I remember the day when he disagreed with what he’d said, but the man who interviewed him denied him the right to change his mind and, even though it was two and a half years, later still went ahead and published something which John said he no longer agreed with himself on. Which means the dream was over, yet certain people wouldn’t allow him to have his dream... over. Nudge nudge wink wink, say no more. [inaudible] JOHN: In other words, imagine if somebody or if you accidentally bang your head and you shout, “Ow!” – that’s the end of it. [self-conscious; laughs] Right? GEORGE: And he said that too. JOHN: I mean, it doesn’t go on for the next five years, right? And we all did that.

December 21st, 1974 (New York)

INT: It seem that you did minimize a little bit, what the, what the effect was on the, value and lifestyle and all that. You said that there was almost nothing left of Beatles. JOHN: Well I get bitter too, you know. And uh, also it was always the insistence that the Beatles led something, you know. And if anything they were figureheads, you know. And, I put it more succinctly later on when I thought about it. When I said those statements A) I was bitter and upset; emotionally upset cause we just split up, you know. I call it a divorce right. But when I think about it, obviously…you know, I can change my mind.

John interviewed by Jean-François Vallée in April 1975.

Underground journalist Felix Dennis watched the session. ‘I remember Ringo getting more and more upset by this… I have a clear memory of him saying, “That’s enough, John.”’ Lennon and Ono competed to come up with the most insulting lines, Dennis said. ‘Some of it was absolutely puerile. Thank God a lot of it never actually got recorded because it was highly, highly personal, like a bunch of schoolboys standing in the lavatory making scatological jokes.’ ‘John would forgive himself, and expect Paul to forgive him,’ Derek Taylor recalled.

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money: The Battle for the Soul of the Beatles. (2009)

I went through a period of trying to encourage Paul by writing and saying things that I thought would spur him on. But I think they were misunderstood. That's how "How Do You Sleep?" (on the "Imagine" album) was intended. Although I suppose it was a bit hard on him.

John Lennon Talks To Ray Connolly May 18th 1972 Radio Times

“At the moment he is cut off from the three of us. The last time I saw him was in December.” Asked whether he thought John Lennon’s recent unkind references to Paul on his “Imagine” album, had deepened the rift, George replied: “Maybe John felt like that about Paul at the time he was writing the song, but he doesn’t feel like that all the time. The song doesn’t represent what he really feels. It’s just John – people don’t really understand. “I think John’s record is great – though that track about Paul is a bit hard. But it’s only something felt at the time . . . ”

George Harrison, interviewed by Mike Hennessey for Record Mirror (October 16, 1971)

JOHN: (smiles) You know, I wasn’t really feeling that vicious at the time. But I was using my resentment toward Paul to create a song, let’s put it that way. He saw that it pointedly refers to him, and people kept hounding him about it. But, you know, there were a few digs on his album before mine. He’s so obscure other people didn’t notice them, but I heard them. I thought, Well, I’m not obscure, I just get right down to the nitty-gritty. So he’d done it his way and I did it mine. But as to the line you quoted, yeah, I think Paul died creatively, in a way.

John’s Playboy interview as published in the magazine’s January 1981 issue

He turned to me and told me that he had been equally vicious about Paul during the same period and that Paul had got it right when he had declared that the only person John was hurting with his vitriolic behavior was himself. It was not exactly an apology, more like an explanation.

Glyn Johns, Sound Man: A Life Recording Hits with the Rolling Stones, the Who, Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Eric Clapton, the Faces… (2014)

“I have to ask you, what was all that stuff in the telegraph about?... And he’s gone oh yeah, look, speak to Paul about that, I wasn’t in a good place mentally at the time. Just speak to Paul about it…. I thought it was a real cop out because he had hurt me, he’d said something unfair, and rather than just apologise, what he basically said was I’ve apologised to Paul, and Paul’s accepted my apology for for my behaviour in that period, the immediate aftermath of the Beatles, and therefore speak to him and he will explain to you why you should forgive me”.

I am the EggPod guest Sam Delaney talking about a Get Back screening Q&A with Glynn Johns

“I’m trying to be mad at you, but you’re so nice, it isn’t easy,” Glyn replied. Then he explained that he had been upset by John’s comments about him in the “Lennon Remembers” interviews. John had said that Let It Be, which had been re-mixed by Glyn, had wound up sounding awful, and Glyn, a true professional, had been very offended by John’s comments. John did not remember saying it at all and he was very embarrassed. He explained, “I had just done primal therapy. I was just lettin’ off steam. That interview was just a lot of anger.” Glyn stared at John. John’s words had hurt him, and he had never expected that John would not remember what he had said, nor had he perceived that the comments would be dismissed as “just lettin’ off steam.” Like everyone else, he believed everything the public John said and took him very seriously. John repeatedly apologised to Glyn, and eventually the matter was dropped.

Loving John

“John’s most influential interviews, interviews which people took as gospel truth, were for John occasions to blow off steam and then to forget what he had said.”

May Pang, The Lost Weekend

At the time, we at Apple weren’t feeling good anyway, because Apple had failed; and here was one of our friends telling everyone who reads Rolling Stone that we were bastards. In the end we had to say, ‘Well, we’re not.’ John later retracted some of it, and we became friends again. And I forgave him. He would forget he’d said it, and expect to be forgiven, as he always was.

Derek Taylor, interview w/ Peter Doggett for Record Collector. (August, 1988)

John had gone through a tremendous upheaval in his private life, and he was a very odd person at times; he wasn’t at all himself. There was the famous interview he did for Rolling Stone, which has been reprinted many times, in which he says many unfair and untrue things, slagged everybody off, including me. I took him to task over it later on, asking him, “Why did you say all those things? It wasn’t very nice.” He said, “Oh, I was just stoned out of my head.” That was his only apology, really. Unfortunately, that has become history now; it’s accepted as the Bible.”

George Martin, interview w/ Howard Massey for Musician. (February, 1999)

“If you look at interviews and stuff with John, from around about that time he was in Imagine [documentary] he kind of admits that he’s having problems with himself. So, well, the first thing you do when you’re having problems with yourself is you bitch about someone else. And the closest person was me…He had a real go at me. I personally think it was ‘cause he was trying to clear the decks for Yoko. He’s got a new love, he’s trying to say to her, “Look, baby, I love you. I hate those guys.” And I think—you also have to remember John was going through a lot of problems. And you know, as they say, people, when they’re going through problems, come out with that kind of stuff. You know that, we all know that. When you’re in a bad mood, the first thing you do is badmouth somebody else. You don’t want to badmouth yourself…Some of the times, he was having other sorts of problems…So—like most of what John said, I take it with a pinch of salt. I love him still. I don’t care what he said, you know. Even if he badmouths me, I still know that he was a great guy, and that he loved me.”

Paul McCartney

#the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #mclennon

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fractualized · 7 months

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Three Jokers Are Not Better Than One

(or, cheap twists don't make a good story)

Would you look at that? It's time to bitch about Three Jokers!

(spoilers for a 3-year-old comic ahead)

Gotham War got me into hater mode, so I figured it was time to take a second look at Three Jokers, written by Geoff Johns and drawn by Jason Fabok. I first read it when the issues came out, and I thought it was possible that the story isn't as bad as I remembered. I don't know why, since for the past three years I've been haunted by the possibility of it being deemed canon.

Of course, at the time of conception, Three Jokers was intended to be canon. Johns set up the premise in the Darkseid War storyline of the 2011 Justice League run, in issues published in 2015/2016. Batman takes control of the omniscient Mobius Chair, and he tests it by asking who killed his parents. Then he asks a second question, which Hal Jordan presses him on several issues later.

[Justice League (2011) #42 & Justice League (2011) #50]

Four years later, when Three Jokers was set to be released towards the end of 2020, Johns did at first confirm it would be canon despite being released via Black Label, where books are not meant to be part of the larger continuity. In later interviews, however, this assertion got walked back in favor of saying the canonicity is up to each reader, which is kind of a wild thing to say. "Look, this story merely proposes that one of our most popular characters has actually been three different dudes the whole time, which totally has a negligible impact on how that character should be seen and has interacted with the world. Take it or leave it!"

But then, DC's idea of canon has been pretty squiggly of late, especially with the increasing multiverse shenanigans. In the final issue of Dark Knights: Death Metal in 2021, the reader is told, "with our past finally set, myriad new futures are opening up. And as hypertime heals, we'll likely experience flashes of them– and even alternate pasts– in pretty epic fashion." Infinite Frontier followed, with a press release declaring, "When our heroes saved the Multiverse from Perpetua in Dark Nights: Death Metal, everything was put back where it belonged… and we do mean everything. All the damage from all the Crises was undone [....]"

I have a lot of thoughts about this, revolving around what the heck does it mean for storytelling and how we should understand characters that apparently, somehow, everything is canon? How are we supposed to take this as anything other than the omniverse being an excuse for DC Editorial to wave off responsibility for a legible timeline? "Batman can be in two places at once because, uh, the Monitor sneezed?"

But this too-long essay is about Three Jokers, so I'll narrow my concern: if character histories can simply change with a multiversal glitch, in whatever overwrought way those are usually explained to us, then it sure feels like it doesn't matter that Three Jokers was published under Black Label. It sure seems like, at whoever's whim, Three Jokers can still get locked into the main storyline. I mean, Zdarsky still hasn't explained what that three Jokers shit in Batman #135 is about. On the other hand, we know that the explanation for the two Jokers in The Man Who Stopped Laughing does not involve the multiverse, and Joker is supposed to reunite with Batman over in Zdarsky's story when that story closes out, so… I actually have no reason to be confident that means anything.

"But why would Three Jokers getting canonized be so bad?" you may ask if you've never read Three Jokers (or if you fully enjoyed it).

Speaking for myself, it starts with the premise: taking a character and saying, "actually, this is not one complex guy but three different guys, which fractures the character's motivations and relationships over the last several decades." When that character is one you enjoy very much, this twist is not fun. It's a fundamental change to who they are.

Then five months before the release of Three Jokers #1, Johns and Fabok did an interview with Entertainment Weekly. Some things the pair said raised red flags:

1) Three Jokers' story would focus on the trauma that Barbara, Jason, and Bruce suffered at Joker's hands, per Johns. "If you suffer some trauma, you don’t just get over with it and move on with your life, it changes who you are. Sometimes it changes you for the better, sometimes it changes you for the worse. You can heal right, and you can heal wrong. That’s really what the book’s about: Healing right, healing wrong, and surviving."

2) Johns also said of the story: “It goes back to the beginning when Batman first encountered the Joker, but it’s also The Killing Joke and A Death in the Family that speak to the book and that we’re building off emotionally." And Fabok mentioned that the book's look would be based on the aesthetics of The Killing Joke: "I really want it to feel like it could be a spiritual sequel, at least artistically."

These remarks foreshadowed a disconnect. A key part of The Killing Joke itself is that both Joker and Bruce experienced terrible trauma ("one bad day"), but in responding to it, they made different choices: broadly, Joker choosing to hurt people versus Bruce choosing to help people. Johns excluding Joker from his comments about trauma felt like a sign that he ignored a key part of the character, despite Joker being a core part of a new tale "emotionally" inspired by TKJ.

(We're setting aside "you can heal right and you can heal wrong" for now. Ohhh, we'll get back to that.)

Johns' blind spot was confirmed a few months later when he was quoted by the DC Nation Twitter account: "There are very few characters that are, to me, as irredeemable as The Joker. There is nothing in him that is good."

Wow, what close analysis from Mr. Emotional Build.

Look, I don't need Joker to be redeemed or woobified. (Ask me about the "Pushback" storyline from 2004 and hear my gnashing teeth crack a filling.) But I would like the full breadth of his character acknowledged, especially when you're claiming you're writing about trauma, especially when you're creating a "spiritual sequel" to one of best known Joker stories (if not the best known one).

Then Three Jokers finally came out, and over three months it proved to be neither an examination of healing nor very interesting, at least not in an enjoyable way. What it has to "say" about trauma, for any of the characters, is no different than the limited conclusion made in previous Batman books: mainly the drumbeat of fighting off the darkness by being a bigger person— or at least not killing your enemy. Making Joker into a role played by three different people adds nothing; it amounts to little more than a gimmick.

Hell, even as a gimmick, it's flawed. Theoretically, the three Jokers represent phases of personality the Joker has embodied over the years— but the representations we get don't make sense. Here they are summed up in Book 3:

Sorry, what? The Criminal is less interested in theatrics? In what time period was the Joker ever not interested in making a big show of things in one way or another? Maybe this is supposed to be an "early" Joker in terms of the Rebirth/InfiniCrisisDarkCarnateTier/whatever more recent conception of him, but I'll wager that's not what people think about when they think of Joker at his start. They think about Golden Age Joker doing goofy shit and laughing maniacally. They're not expecting this morose man.

The other thing is that, in Book 1, the narrative "assigns" each of our three protagonists to a Joker: Bruce to the Criminal, who appeared at the start; Barbara to the Comedian, who shot her; and Jason to the Clown, who killed him. Now at first I thought Johns was saying one Joker took over after another, but since Barbara's attack and Jason's death happened 9 months apart in 1988, which are not different Joker eras, I think we're supposed to see them as sort of… cycling on and off depending on the needs of the scheme? Maybe? But the descriptions above are still confusing. Why am I supposed to see the Joker who got carried away with the fun of beating Jason with a crowbar and successfully blew him up as less sadistic than the other one?

Johns does appear to lampshade this confusion in the middle of Book 1, when we get all three Jokers in a cabin in the woods. The Clown and the Comedian have this exchange:

This and a later panel with the Comedian actually imply that he and the Clown are interchangeable, even though they're supposed to be different. So are they or not? Is there an actual reason we need three Jokers, or did Johns just think it was a neato idea and then spend four years trying to figure out a "layered" justification for it?

The other thing about this cabin scene, and about the Joker trio largely, is that it should be fun and it's not. There should be chaos! Zaniness! At the very least, all the narcissism in the room should generate a competitive friction, make their interactions more dynamic. (Really it should generate bloodshed and end with one man standing within like ten minutes, but I'll grant the choice to save that for Book 3.) Instead it's almost mundane. The cabin isn't even decorated! It's dark and dreary, like the Jokers are dark and dreary. If we're gonna have three Jokers, can't they at least be Jokering with each other?

The same thought comes when I consider the very beginning of Book 1. It all starts out like a typical Batman story: three deadly crimes are committed in one night, the Joker seemingly responsible for all of them, and Bruce, Barbara, and Jason are drawn together as they try to figure out what's up. Of course, thanks to the Magic Chair, Bruce already knows there are three clowns, but Barbara and Jason are thinking that Joker is working with two look-alikes to create confusion. And considering the basics of what happens in this story, what the Comedian's larger plan is meant to accomplish, why couldn't this have been written with just two look-alikes? I mean, yeah, it would require Johns to forget about his continuity bomb, but maybe the story would have been better (and shorter). Again, the creation of other Jokers isn't doing much for what the plot is getting at. The three crimes that start us off would still serve the function of reminding Bruce of how Joker's been a constant in his life. The taunting of a convincing Joker look-alike is enough to set off Jason's anger and sadness about what happened to him, and his fears of what he could become. The climax with Joe Chill would have to be redone, but the threat of him being Jokerized isn't the crucial plot point; the Comedian's film of him is. Bruce doesn't even have any substantial thoughts about there being three of his nemesis.

But, alas, the story goes how it goes. And as it goes, we also see that Jason behaves more cruelly in his search for Joker than Barbara and Bruce. For example, Jason attacks and threatens one of Joker's victims to get information, feeling justified because the guy has a rap sheet, while Barbara scolds him and Bruce tells the victim, "I'm sorry this happened." What I find notable about this is that while comics regularly present Jason as hot-headed and Barbara as reasonable, Bruce… uh… If you gather a random selection of Batman comics, you'll find that his level of violence is all over the place. This story, however, requires a more somber Bruce, whose violence is more reactive, because Jason and Barbara serve Johns' dichotomy of "heal right" versus "heal wrong." We can't have Bruce on the sadistic side of the scale fucking that up, and besides, Jason's long been the posterboy for healing "wrong."

That notion comes to a head at the end of the issue. The heroes have encountered and subdued the Clown at the aquarium when Jim Gordon calls. The GCPD found another Joker, and Bruce leaves Jason and Barbara alone with the Clown to assist.

Goodness me, who could have predicted Jason might kill a restrained Joker? Not Bruce, who absolutely should have. Barbara is there to talk Jason down, sure, but what else is the Clown gonna do but needle Jason to kill him?

The Clown cackles then, declaring that Red Hood is his Robin, for the very reason of his violent impulses and how much he upsets the Bat, and of course Jason shoots him in the head, because oof.

Honestly, on this second read I found this scene a smidge too oof. Jason was a determined little Robin, dedicated to saving his awful mother to the very end, and him cracking and declaring that he'll work for a criminal… I don't know. I don't think it's impossible, but it feels superfluous. I don't think such a reveal is necessary to get Jason to fire. I think the Clown focusing on how the new Red Hood is actually quite similar to the old, as well as how Jason matters less than the neverending battle between Batman and Joker, is enough emotional stress to get to the same end result.

But that's a minor quibble; we've got bigger fish to fry! Such as the specter of the "healed right/healed wrong" dynamic that reappears as Barbara and Jason argue over the Clown's corpse.

Barbara leaves angrily after this, but man. I wish the story overall took more cues from this scene, that in a Black Label story we could stray from the simplistic idea of how a Good One would save Joker and a Bad One wouldn't. I want to explore Jason's assertion that Barbara didn't do her best to uphold Bruce's one rule. I want to know if maybe she's tired of being the fucking Good One.

Hell, let's go further: what if we were surprised by Barbara killing the Clown before Jason could? The Clown's taunting about Jason could have gotten to her too. We could have a story about how being put on a pedestal as a Good Victim is a cage, about Barbara struggling with falling from that position, about Jason feeling unsure if he should commend her for an act that obviously hurts her or comfort her for something he would have done himself. That's an actual examination of the struggle to process violent trauma— that you don't need three Jokers for!

But the story we have never gets back to Jason's suggestion that Barbara let the murder happen, not in this issue or the following two. This issue just ends with Jason hoping that the Clown was the actual Joker and that he didn't kill the wrong guy, which is a pretty "LOL oh yeah" line when you remember that he and Barbara don't know there are three Jokers yet.

Book 1, truth be told, isn't that bad. On my reread, I started to wonder if my only real issue with the story is that it's not as engaging as all the hype insisted it would be.

Then Book 2 starts, and goddammit. GODDAMMIT.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: why can we not have more DC writers having fun with Joker's multiple-choice backstory? Why did Johns read The Killing Joke and decide his interpretation would be this?:

Ugh. UGGGHHH.

I don't recall the issue, but there's these panels that circulate sometimes of Harley Quinn encountering Joker in Arkham or prison, in which they exchange words about their relationship and he's a creep and she kicks his ass. I have no problem with Harley kicking Joker's ass. He deserves it. My problem is that those panels play out like an empowerment scene in a generic Lifetime movie. My problem is that it doesn't have the flavor of Harley and Joker. My problem is that it's lazy.

And that's my problem with what Johns does with Joker's backstory in TKJ. He could take it anywhere, and he goes gritty without an ounce of nuance. Because hey, this is Joker, and "there is nothing in him that is good," right? We'll just ignore that one of DC's all-time classics, the one this garbage is ✨inspired by✨, has Joker reflecting on a past for which he is an unreliable narrator, but in which he laments how his comedy dream put his growing family in a bad spot, in which he desperately aligns with shady people so his family can be secure, in which he's devastated by losing the only person he has in the world and their growing baby. And these memories could be distorted or entirely fake, but what's interesting in TKJ is that Joker never tells anyone else about them, even in his big speech to Batman. The flashbacks are not part of an attempt to manipulate anyone or convince them his world view is correct. It's a tale in Joker's head that, regardless of the truth, deeply affects him. It's what drove him to go to horrendous lengths to prove his point, even if the point is wrong.

But fuck that, right? We're going lazy! We're going cheap! We're going with the Jeannie backstory, but actually Joker was only terrible to her. The Comedian fondly fantasizes about terrorizing her and their son, because he's 100% an abuser, because he must have always been that way, with not a single appealing quality that we need to reckon with as we so often do with toxic people in real life. Even the freaking stutter Joker had as he struggled with stand-up comedy is given to Jeannie. Seriously?

I cannot emphasize enough: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this "take."

On the other hand, when the Comedian is brought out of his stupor, we do finally get something super funny:

At least we'll always have this panel of Joker eating cat food.

The Criminal only interrupted the daydream because he's mad the Clown is dead, and the Clown was so eager to be dead I thought it was part of their plan buuuuuuut I guess not. Then we jump to Bruce figuring out that the "Joker" that Gordon cornered is just another victim, a dead judge. Barbara appears to tell Bruce what Jason did, and they discuss it over comms on the road.

Bruce, shockingly, says that they can't really do anything about what Jason did.

Pretty sure the guy who batarang'd Jason's throat rather than let him kill Joker would have a more intense reaction than this?? Or any reaction other than sober understanding? Maybe Bruce is still coping with finally dealing with three Jokers at once and will flip his shit when this all resolves. Or maybe he's just thinking, "it's okay, I still have two emotional support clowns left!" I don't know. He's so weirdly passive in this story.

What's more aggravating, though, is the other aspect of this conversation, that Jason "healed wrong." It would be one thing as a pat judgment Bruce is making, but we know from that interview that Johns positioned "healed right versus healed wrong" as the story's theme. It's not good. It's way too glib a framing for evaluating how people who've gone through trauma are dealing with it, in any context. Sure, there are better and worse coping mechanisms, better and worse outcomes, but healing is an ongoing process that can be so individualized. Reducing it to "right" and "wrong," saying that one is "strong" and implying that the other comes from some sort of deficiency… I hope Johns just spoke poorly and he does understand that it's not that simple.

Now, is it a stretch to apply that critique to Jason killing criminals at his whim? Sure, deciding that you personally should play the role of judge, jury, and executioner is not a good way to deal with trauma. But that's not exactly what's happening here. This "healed right versus healed wrong" framing is being applied to Jason Todd going after the Joker. Obviously, I like Joker, but can we be real about this? Can we be real in a Black Label book, the imprint where comic books (allegedly) have room to take things more seriously? Can we take the question of, "In this fictional world where Joker is an unstoppable fatal mayhem machine— now THREE machines— is it completely out of bounds for someone to finally kill him?" and be like, "Errr…not really?" When this story explicitly denies Joker even one teeny redeeming human quality, are we seriously still going to say, "Well, you know, if Jason takes the life of the man who murdered him and millions other people, because he doesn't want him to kill more people, which Joker will absolutely do and we all know it, doesn't that say something awful about Jason?" Are we really??

Plus the judgment about healing is put into the mouth of a man who— say it with me!— regularly dresses as a bat and beats the ever-loving shit out of people because his parents were murdered. Toning Bruce down in this particular story doesn't hide that.

Although, what I think is intended as a flawed assumption on Bruce's part is his other line, "Jason's suffering." It implies that Barbara still isn't, but we are shown Barbara reflecting on her paralyzation, even now when she's "strong" and has healed "right." And the story will get into this a bit later, but it absolutely does not let Barbara and Jason escape the dichotomy. To the story's detriment, their interactions go in a wild direction, but we'll get to that.

First, Bruce and Barbara's investigation leads them to Blackgate, because the fingerprints on the murder weapon for the dead judge belong to none other than Joe Chill. However, we learn that Chill has been in the medical wing for two months because he's sick with cancer.

Meanwhile, Jason's investigation leads him to a closed athletic center. The pool inside is filled with the chemicals stolen from Ace at the start of the story, as well as dozens of pale naked bodies with green hair. Jason's attempt to contact Barbara is interrupted when one of said bodies bursts to life and grabs his ankle, asking for help. Jason reacts with hostility, kicking the poor guy, and I'm not sure if it's because he's unnerved by a room of floating Jokers or if it's pretty normal for him to not keep his cool even for the sake of an obvious victim of a horrible crime. A Gotham City vigilante can't be that shocked by one guy being alive in a pile of bodies, can they?

But that's all setup. When the guy falls unconscious, the Criminal and the Comedian ambush Jason and drag him away, one saying, "He'll be perfect."

It's a line that meanly gets your hopes up, poking at a subject that could make all this more interesting.

Jason awakes, strapped to a chair and as naked as the bodies in the pool. The Criminal says he and his pals have spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect candidate for a new Joker, and he repeats the question of what's up with Jason taking on the Red Hood moniker.

It seems that, like DCAU Tim Drake in Batman Beyond before him, Jason Todd will be transformed into a fourth Joker! But it won't only be because it will wreck the Batman. It'll be because Joker already sees himself in Jason. This is something new to explore! There are places to go here; other comics hinting at Joker's past point to him having a childhood not dissimilar to Jason's, of growing up on the street, experiencing abuse, and learning unpalatable ways to survive. We could see Jason struggling with the possibility that he has more in common with Joker than he wants to think about!

But we won't. Inexplicably, the Criminal turns around and says that despite their similarities, despite Jason hating Batman as much as he does, despite the Comedian (presumably) saying Jason is perfect, and despite getting Jason ready for the pool, Jason actually isn't good enough, not "bright" enough. (Because all the Jokers we have in this dour story are so bright?)

And then the Comedian just beats the hell out of Jason (saying it's more fun than the first time, in another annoying nod to how he and the Clown are the same damn Joker) and says they're leaving Jason alive because maybe he'll prove them wrong and he'll become a new Joker after all? But the current Jokers aren't really going to go for it. Their interest is just abandoned.

The point is only to freak Jason out, so when Bruce and Barbara arrive, fight a horde of Jokerized victims, and find Jason alone and naked and vulnerable, he does not react well when Bruce tries to ask if he's okay. Jason turns on him and blames him for setting him on this path, for leaving him in the dirt, for replacing him easily. He lashes out at Barbara too, asking if she's going to lock him away, but ultimately it's easier to take comfort from her.

A direct reference to Return of the Joker here, focusing on the shadow Batman casts over the lives of his partners, the responsibility he bears in how Joker targeted them to hurt the Bat, and how poorly he offers comfort himself.

It does segue nicely into the next scene, when Bruce and Barbara get Jason to her apartment to rest. Bruce leaves to keep investigating, and Barbara is pissed because this is the exact lack of support that contributed to Jason going his own way. Support is highlighted again when Jason wakes in Barbara's room and looks around.

Aside from Barbara seeking out books to deal with her physical and mental struggles after Joker's attack, the old calendars show the help she received from her father and health professionals.

And this scene does get into something that's missing from TKJ, in which Bruce tells Joker that no, not everyone will retreat to madness like he did. How we react to trauma is greatly affected by the resources available to us.

This scene is nice. It's nice to come from the action to some place quiet and for someone to say this Jason, something he's wanted to hear. It's late in coming, but it's pain validated.

And then Johns fucking ruins it.

Man. Just. Ugh. Yeah, I know people seek comfort in moments of vulnerability, but… the reader knows. The reader knows moments like this aren't included to be like "oh, this was an isolated blip of human behavior! The story won't call back to it later!" Johns apparently wants Barbara/Jason to be a thing. And if you want a solid reason for that… well, we don't get any good ones.

Meanwhile, Bruce is in the cave, and I'm only mentioning that because these folder labels are incredibly funny:

Then the issue ends with Joe Chill kidnapped from Blackgate by the Comedian, who has a video camera and asks him to talk about why he really killed the Waynes. Dun dun dunnnnnnnn! Is that a twist on the way?! Well, yeah, but not really the one you think and it's incredibly stupid.

Finally we are at Book 3. Jason is suited back up, and he and Barbara have met up with Bruce in the cave to figure out how the Jokers plan to create another, better Joker.

Soooooo Jason and Barbara had that whole conversation. Jason was shaken by what the Jokers said to him. But now he's completely back on track. Allllllrighty.

Jason and Bruce then have an argument rehashing everything that Barbara said she was sorry Jason experienced, with Bruce saying of course he'd love to kill the Joker, and Jason pointing out that he obviously hasn't. Jason also says he thinks the only reason Bruce isn't turning Jason in for killing the Clown is to protect Batman's identity. Barbara just tries to de-escalate with her doe eyes. They're back to the status quo, and it sucks, which is the point. When they try to get back to the investigation at hand, Bruce pauses and attempts to apologize.

And again, with this blatant TKJ reference, it feels like we need to dig into the parallels between Jason and Joker! They both insist it's too late! They won't take help! But surely Jason isn't as far gone! There's something to chew on here.

But nah, this story is heading toward a big ol' revelation, foreshadowed here:

🎶 Why the fuck you lyin'? 🎶

Finally they get the alert that Joe Chill was kidnapped, and on investigating his cell, Bruce finds a bunch of letters addressed to… himself, Bruce Wayne. He seeks out the prison reverend.

Which is unintentionally hilarious, because in the storyline that started this whole three Jokers nonsense, there's a Batman Darkseid War one-shot where Joe Chill's behavior does not remotely align with this.

Lol comics are fun.

In the middle of Bruce investigating the letters, we get Jason being all repentant with Babs again.

You just said? You totally were?? Gonna kill more clowns??? How is this supposed to come off as genuine? Granted, Jason doesn't try to kill the other Jokers after this, but the apparently impetus for reversing course is... uh... we'll get there.

Anyway, among Chill's letters are tickets to the Monarch Theater, so the heroes all head over for whatever the Jokers have set up for them, which of course includes another horde of failed Joker zombies. During the fight, the Comedian's interview of Joe Chill plays on the screen, and the Criminal reveals they have Chill tied up in a chair suspended over a vat of green chemicals.

As Chill on screen explains that he killed the Waynes out of hatred and envy for how much they had, and how much he regrets his actions, the Criminal explains that he considered both Jason and Barbara as strong candidates for the new Joker. And wait. WAIT. Mr. Johns, sir, are you telling me it crossed your mind to write a story in which Barbara becomes the new Joker? That's so much more interesting than the bullshit we're getting! Imagine it: Barbara dealing with the dissatisfaction of being the "good, strong victim" and just losing her shit. You could combine that with how uneasy Jason is with his similarities to Joker, and maybe Jason is the one who convinces Barbara to turn back. This is Black Label! This could've been anything! Anything!

But we've got Chill. And the Criminal goes on to say the reason he wanted to make a new Joker at all:

Are… are you? I'm pretty sure Joker is pretty well fucking defined. He's a murderer with a very dark sense of humor who is obsessed with Batman. That's been a pretty good through-line.

Also, Joker pretty clearly means a lot to Batman, as that middle panel with Jason seems intended to remind us, but the Criminal does clarify that he wants to be "everything" to him, which is why he's pulling Bruce's parents' murderer into all this. I guess I can't blame him for reaching for the stars?

Cue big fight scene. The Chill recording continues to explain his regret, and soon the theater is on fire. Batman saves Chill and knocks the Criminal unconscious. Chill thinks Batman is going to kill him, but Bruce saves him from a falling brick wall instead— before the Criminal revives and tries to set off a bomb to kill them all, maybe. There's a BOOM flag sticking out of the dynamite a few panels later, after the Comedian shows up and shoots the Criminal in the head. TWIST!

The Comedian surrenders, and after a scene with Jason picking the most awkward time to suggest he and Barbara try being a couple and Barbara looking pissed she has to tell him no, we jump to Bruce and the Comedian in the armored police car.

As a batjokes shipper, looking at these pages is weird, because they are good food for the brainworms. The Criminal wanted to engineer a Joker who meant the most to Batman, but the Comedian wanted to be that Joker. It's a weird plan, considering that Joker prefers Batman over Bruce Wayne, so he would be more likely to not want to heal Bruce's wound lest the healing lead to less Batmanning, but still. This crazy plan is all about maintaining Batman's attention.

But I can only enjoy these panels out of context, not just because I'm pretty weary of insanely elaborate plans that manage to work out, but also because there's just so much to hate in the rest of the story, especially the real twist that closes it out.

Before we get to that, though, we're thrown back into the Jason/Barbara nonsense with a very gross letter he writes to her.

"Dear Barbara, I want to make a change. But I can't do that without you. I know I've come across cold and distant…"

1) Look, love can help people heal. Barbara could be a good friend advising Jason on what might help him. She could help bring him back into the batfam fold. This letter is not that. This letter is pushing someone to be in a romantic relationship with you for the explicit purpose of getting them to heal you. That's not how love works. That's using someone as a tool. It's supposed to be sad that Barbara never sees the letter but it's good, actually. Don't put that shit on her!

2) This romance came out of freaking nowhere and now we get Jason insisting he can simply stop being Red Hood for the sake of it— but only for the sake of it, apparently! Does Jason think his worldview as Red Hood is an impediment to healing or not? This is just surface-level melodramatic nonsense. And I wish that was the point, but no. Again, the letter getting swept away is presented as sad.

3) Speaking of which, who tapes a confessional letter that exposes your vigilante identity to a door where anyone can see it? You'd slip it under the door at least. Johns couldn't figure out any other way for the letter to vanish? Get out of here with this contrived nonsense. There should've been panels of Jason rereading the letter, realizing how unhinged it is, and throwing it away himself.

4) Is the "Funtime Cleaners" guy in his purple uniform supposed to be Joker? Or representative of Joker's influence on their lives? If yes and it's him, he's a goddamn hero. If it's symbolic, what does that mean, that even when you reach out to others… elements out of your control will keep you alone? 'Cause that sure is bleak for a book allegedly about healing.

With all that done with, now we get to the big twist, the dumbest fucking part of this story, the end, the takeaway. Of course it involves more crimes against The Killing Joke, which I'm increasingly convinced no one at DC has actually read in the past thirty years.

Bruce drives up to Alaska, and we get this reveal.

Do the kids still *headdesk* nowadays? That's what I'm doing. There will be a blood stain.

1) So Bruce has known the Joker's identity, or at least the Comedian's, basically the whole time. We're just retconning that the Joker question he asked the Magic Chair wasn't for information; it was a second test question. And all this is in the face of Bruce lamenting many times over the years that he doesn't know who Joker really is, of him lamenting it in The Killing goddamn Joke. "I don't know him, Alfred. All these years and I don't know who he is any more than he knows who I am. How can two people hate so much without knowing each other?" We're just. Fucking excising that. A line alluding to Bruce's motivation for visiting Joker in TKJ's opening scene.

2) We're rounding out the lazy revisions to the TKJ backstory with some copaganda! Geoff Johns doesn't think it's possible for Joker to have been anything but a horror to his family, but he does think it's possible that random officers in the friggin' Gotham City Police Department— in early Batman lore no less, when they were at their most corrupt— would fundraise for a "lady" they clearly don't know to get her out of the city to safety. Also, what was the plan for when Joker asked to see his wife's dead body?? Congrats, you've come up with something dumber than "Pushback."

3) This scrawls more highlighter on how bad the premise of there being three Jokers is, because the flashback in TKJ happens before Joker starts out. Like that's how Bruce always recalls it; he didn't meet the Joker until after what happened at Ace Chemicals. So isn't Jeannie then actually the Criminal's wife? Because the Criminal is the one who behaves as Bruce remembers Joker was at the start. So is the Comedian obsessed with the Criminal's wife for some reason? Or is the Comedian actually the first Joker, and the Criminal came later and used to be more wacky? What is going on here?

Under all these questions, per the final page, the point of Three Jokers is still visible: ultimately, his victims matter more than he does. But that's a hilarious point to a story that revolves around three of the guy, with very little payoff to the gimmick, and when part of the plot is that the heroes still shouldn't kill him.

And again, just because a story makes reference to healing, it doesn't mean it's "about" healing. The most we get is the knowledge that Barbara and Jeannie received support from other people. There's no discussion of how long it took either of them, of why Barbara came out the other side not wanting to kill Joker, of anything Jeannie has done since she left Gotham. The possibility that Jason could find connection is promptly throttled by a forced romance. It's implied that the Comedian's plan worked for Bruce, as we see Bruce at Chill's deathbed, holding his hand, and at Chill's grave. You might be interested in Bruce's thoughts as he juxtaposes Chill's repentance against the fact that his parents are still dead, so you can assess if this really would affect the feeling of loss that drove him to his lifelong mission, but you won't get them. The "how" of healing is up to the reader— who is never asked to extend the same thought process to the Joker. And you personally do not have to give a crap about Joker, but again, if this book is supposed to be about responses to healing, about Jason's response versus Barbara's, then taking an actual look at Joker feels relevant!

So there we are: fourteen pages of me venting my little heart out, hoping the premise of Three Jokers never gets looped into canon. I'm well aware that my personal attachment to a character means nothing against DC's incentives to promote stories with Big Twists (and endless events and multiverse bullshit), but then again, those incentives are based on what people will buy. So if I can add to the voices saying that Three Jokers is bad, and you should not spend your money on it or books like it, maybe I can be one vibe of many that keeps the Joker as one single bat-obsessed murderclown...

Though if not, I can always retreat to older comics. I still have plenty of those to get through.

#three jokers #the killing joke #batjokes #batman #joker #bruce wayne #barbara gordon #jason todd #analysis #my jibber-jabber #tl;dr three jokers is just usual batman stuff with a dumb gimmick #and jaybabs thrown in for the lulz

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td-rarepairs · 7 months

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Describing every single rare pair of total drama I have, if you hear the name Ezekiel a lot, get used to it:

Ezekiel x Harold:

This is one of my favorites, Yes, I was the previous Harzeke anon

Ezekiel x Duncan:

Opposites attract? Lemme consume all the art of it (I don't even like one of the characters here, but I still ship it)

Ezekiel x Justin:

Anyone here who shipped this before slimeysoda's au?

Ezekiel x Geoff:

It all started when I saw a funny looking piece of fanart, then I went down the rabbit hole, and now I ship it.

Ezekiel x Noah:

This can also be used to summarize most of the ships here, because I can

Ezekiel x Tyler:

The first guys who fell for Alejandro, you guys mainly all talk about "I like girls!" Meanwhile Ezekiel doesn't even deny it, just that "Wow eh..." IT FEELS LIKE I'M GRABBING AT STICKS TO SELF PROJECT- Wait, where am I? Or right, Ezekiel x Tyler, dumbass x dumbass

Ezekiel x Alejandro:

Same as above, just minus the Tyler specific part, and directed specifically at Alejandro.

Ezekiel x DJ:

They both love animals, and you can't rid that headcanon from me (on Ezekiel's side, DJ's love for animals is canon).

Ezekiel x Trent:

Ruined character gang.

Ezekiel x Eva:

Last one with Ezekiel, Ok? Anyways, this is the only straight Ezekiel ship I like, Lifts them like some grapes x some grapes, anyone?

Harold x Lightning:

Blame Totaldramarama for this, but you can't explain that "Your handso- I MEAN AWESOME!" Line, and the blush afterwards without at least a little bit of contemplating if that was a childhood crush representation.

Owen x Justin:

I'm starting to see a theme with kinda canon but not explicitly stated, Owen is a Bi-con and no one can change my mind.

Izzy x Eva:

It just works imo.

Katie x Sadie:

I eat up friends to lovers for diner

Raj x Wayne:

Same explanation as Katie x Sadie, just less annoying.

Wayne x Damien:

Himbo x Smarter, Gotta love that dynamic, also, enemies to lovers too! Well, I still feel like that whole enemy thing with Damien was meant to mean like Wayne doesn't see him as an enemy, instead he has one giant crush, but he doesn't wanna feel like he's copying Raj by having these feelings too, so he pretends it's an enemy thing.

Dave x Shawn:

I hate Dave with every inch of my body, but I accidentally fell into this rabbit hole, and now I ship it, trust me, this is the only Dave ship I have.

Alejandro x Tyler:

It's a great dynamic, but in the end, the video we shall not speak of messed it up.

Geoff x Brody:

I wanna see them marry all over again.

And that's all that I have that I'm not questioning the rare pair validity of, I have two more I'm questioning and I'll mention them here:

Gwourtney

Nowen

Thank you for listening to my rare pair list.

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rvb-canon-grimmons · 19 hours

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RVB RESTORATION THOUGHTS!!!!

LONG POST IM SO SORRY I HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS

(Im so sorry this got so long, but i got emotional while writing it so please bear with me, read this like its the morning paper while u eat breakfast or something i have alot to say)

Before I go into the things I didn't like I do want to focus on some positives.

-Like I said in an earlier post, Geoff's acting…he absolutely killed it, and maybe this is because I'm a little bit Geoff/Grif biased but he was giving so much emotion and everyone else felt a little bit flat. Also only he could have delivered the "Come with me" line with so much Homoeroticism -I Had a pretty fun time watching the fight in the second half, The references to Monty we're sweet and getting to see Tex and Carolina fight together was pretty epic! -A good handful of jokes got me good. "23rd in my class" Shelia translating Caboose's Spanish to Lopez

Ok……. the next bit of this will get a little bit negative, but I do want to say this is coming from a place of deep love and care for this series. I have run this blog for like 6/7 years now and I've been a fan of this show for double that. My biggest fear is that fans get the same treatment we did when no one liked RVBZero. I have criticisms. This is a 21 year old series that so many people have had a part in and so many have loved. I was not looking for perfection, I wasn't even looking for something good. I was looking for an ending to the stories of characters people have held in their hearts for 21 years. Unfortunately, what I feel we were left with was a hastily thrown together hour of basically nothing.

-Why weren't they friends…..Why weren't they friends…No one cared for the others. I understand that we have semi warped perceptions of the characters from fanon works and things of that nature. But even in canon, the reds and blue care about each other. On their own team and the other team. Simmons, Grif, Tucker, and Caboose spent MONTHS together in chorus and same for Donut/Sarge/Wash. I've recently rewatched blood gulch and Caboose and Sarge have a great dynamic! Tucker and Grif canonically get along pretty well. Simmons was ON BLUE TEAM for like a hot minute there. THEY KNOW EACH OTHER AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. This was zero percent present in this film. No one had any motivation to look for Tucker. No one cared that it was Tuckers body inside the suit. THE REDS LEFT CABOOSE FOR DEAD!!!!!! THEY JUST LEFT HIM!!!!

-Tucker, I'm so sorry baby girl, this was supposed to be your arc, your moment. You were hardly in it. No build up to how he became the Meta. The scene where he breaks out of it to not kill caboose was the best part of the arc. And he just wakes up and remembers it "like someone elses Nightmare??" ok sure

-Wash………………WHAT THE FUCK???? WHAT THE FUCK???????????????? WHAT THE FUCK??????? WHAT THE FUCK???? TO RUIN THIS MANS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC BY MAKING HIM COMPLETELY OBSOLETE. PUTTING HIM IN SOME RANDOM HOSPITAL FOR AN UNKNOWN INJURY THAT HAPPENS OFF SCREEN AND ISN'T EXPLAINED. HAVE HIM HALUCINATING DOC FOR SOME FUCKING REASON. HAVE HIM SHOW UP TO THE FINAL BATTLE AND DO ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING BUT JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND NOT SAY A WORD TO ANY OF THE RED AND BLUES I AM LIERALLY ABOUT TO FUCKING CRY TYPING THIS I AM LITERALLY SO FUCKING PISSED OFF. AGENT WASHINGTON, THE CHARACTER THAT WAS SO HAPPY IN THE SEASON RIGHT BEFORE CHORUS JUST TO BE ON BLUE TEAM AND HAVE A FUCKING FAMILY AGAIN. JUST SIDELINE HIM FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND THEN NOT LET HIM SPEAK TO ANY OF HIS FRIENDS EXCEPT CAROLINA AND DEAD DOC. AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT TUCKER BEING THE META WAS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT CATERED TO HAVE WASH BE INVOLVED. THIS IS LIKE AGENT WASHINGTON ANGST BAIT 101. YES IM A TUCKINGTON SHIPPER BUT PUT ALL SHIPPING ASIDE, THEY WERE STILL FRIENDS, THEY WERE FRIENDS THEY WERE FRIENDS.

Grimmons. I am disappointed. But really not surprised. Honestly for everything I disliked I thought Grimmons was handled ok… at this point im like….. they couldn't even throw us a bone. company was dying, final season airing, and they couldn't even throw us a solid Grimmons queerbait joke. Its whatever….I don't wanna get too upset about shipping because at the end of the day, ships becoming canon isn't what shipping is all about (says Tumblr user "RVB-Canon-Grimmons) you get what im saying.

-Donut…..where was he…..Fucking Homophobic honestly

-DOC IS DEAD?????????????????????????????? FUCKING WHY???

-Sarge's death was fine, I'm not upset by it I just didn't feel like it was emotionally satisfying. Especially after the shock of them leaving Caboose and the much better scene of tucker fighting the meta's control over him to not hurt caboose.

-PEOPLE CALLED U SIR ALL THROUGHOUT CHORUS SIMMONS WHAT THE FUCK??????????? WHY IS SIMMONS PROMOTED AND INCHARGE OF NO ONE???? WHY DID GRIF LEAVE HIM???

Im sorry………..this is so long………just remeber this is only my opinions and if u don't agree thats totally ok!!!!! I am just a critical bitch….

#rvb #grimmons #rooster teeth #red vs blue #rvb grimmons #rvb restoration #agent washington #tuckington #rvb restoration spoilers

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tdjustess · 7 months

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Rating all Trent ships I've ever came across

Trent×Gwen - The only canon ship and for what it was, I liked it. It always felt like just a summer fling and them being each others manic pixie dream girl/boy is a detail I highly appreciate. It was the most artsy teen romance of all TD ships and should stay as only that 7.5/10 cause it does make me cringe nowadays

Trent×Justin - I don't know who was the first person to come up with this ship but holy shit their brain. And even if you're too good to fall for the trope of "two guys amicably standing next to each other", these two would be the Larry of the TDverse, which you have to at least admit it's funny as shit 10/10

Trent×Duncan - Listen. I've also been a 15 year old girl, I get it, but this is shit. They either forget about each others existence or actively hate each other. Even the fanfics I used to read back then had to jump through hoops or make them ooc to even get them to stay amicably in the same room 0/10

Trent×Geoff - The better version of Duntrent. They still ignore/hate eachother but there's literally no reason for it which is so funny. They're both pieces of shit and the only time it was justified was when Geoff was trying to protect Gwen over the breakup. Read the TDA bios, they're still trying to poke at some rivalry we never see on screen. AU writers I beg of you, write a enemys-to-enemys fic of their fighting backstage 3/10

Trent×Cody - Oh boy. Oooooh boy. I hate to play this card but they're brothers. Maybe if it's one sided like Cody having a crush for 2 weeks tops but yeah. Brothers energy 0/10

Trent×Courtney - Listen. Don't look at me like that and listen. It's two possibly unmedicated mentaly ill upper middle kids with dreams of success in performing arts that go about it in two extremely different ways. Like. I want to keep this short but they'd be so bad for each other while being the only ones who can understand the others devotion, they'd destroy each other. I'm tearing a phonebook in half with my teeth, shout out to the Ballet AU i'll never write 6/10 realistically but 9.9999998/10 in my heart

Trent×Leshawna - I was really surprised when I first saw this ship cause I'd only ever seen them as sort of "friends-in-law"? But now that I sit down and think of it, it could work?? Leshawna is assertive but also laid back, kind and has a lot of goofy moments. And Trent is a certified wife guy™. I'd never thought of this ship myself but it could work 9.4/10

Trent×Noah - Once again, would have never thought of this if I hadn't read one of the best ship-centered fanfics this fandom has to offer. But I think it works better in that specific fanfic than realistically speaking. Trent isn't the exact type of pathetic (positive) Noah hangs out with and in the long run they'd both be too messy. If Gwent is the cuter side of teen romance, Trent×Noah would be the depressing side. I never watched the show, but from what I remember from "2015 grunge tumblr", it's giving Skins vibes 4.8/10

Trent×Anne Maria - I appreciate the mediterranean representation but no 1/10

Trent×Scott - How. Why. Walk me through this one without making them ooc 0/10

Trent×Zoey - Only in a Doey AU where Duncan keeps throwing dogeballs at Trent in PE everytime he tries to talk with Zoey about british pop 2/10

#gwent #trustin #duntrent #trentney #troah #trody #i dont know the other ships names

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flashfuture · 2 months

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Since I've been on it I wanna talk about Hal's parents. Cause I've seen some dislike for Geoff Johns take on them. But they didn't really, Jessica especially, exist before then. I feel like some people read the comic where Hal in hysterical grief over Coast City made a construct of his parents and then went off to kill all the Lanterns and Guardians and said yep that is exactly how his parents were.

But let's get into it. Martin and Jessica Jordan. For further context, the sibling order is Jack, Hal, Jim Jordan. Three boys. And it was sort of implied for years that they were Jewish and got confirmed not too long ago that Jessica is Jewish and Martin is Catholic. Hal was a grown man in the 80s. His childhood took place in the 50/60s. And before that he was a grown man in the 60s meaning his childhood was the 40s/50s. That absolutely influenced the type of life he had. Vs the further in time we drag this out the less natural it becomes to have super strict parents.

So to begin the first physical appearance of Martin Jordan comes in 1989 in Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn #1. This is a post crisis pre zero hour story so any events in this particular time window are wildly subject to change

Martin is a test flight pilot. He's Hal's hero. His plane goes down. Hal watches. This sequence of events stays consistent across every time line including Flashpoint which is you know fascinating.

"Hal got fired today-- and he got his mom to call up and beg for him."

"Talk about my father again Biff and I'll rip your lungs out."

In this version of events, we get a mention of Jessica. She's not named and doesn't appear. So you can tell she was brought up purely for a 'Hal is so irresponsible he needs his mommy's help' bit. Hal and Jack get along though and are violently defensive of their father. Hal also catches a drunk driving charge after this.

Speaking of drunk I know there's a comic out there where Martin is described as a drunk which I could not for the life of me dig up again but that's mentioned all of once so I just ignore it. What's with making test pilots drunks???

Anyways Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn is definitely not my favorite Hal Jordan story and I'm glad it's been mostly retconned out minus the very beginning parts with Martin.

(Green Lantern vol 3 #36)

"So you're back to flying planes, huh?"

"Dad's blood still runs through my veins, I guess."

This Christmas special in 1993 took place before Coast City exploded. Hal took Carol out to Jack's house to spend the holiday with the Jordan family. Hal directly attributes flying to his dad's influence.

Now Green Lantern vol 3 #48. Hal is standing in the ruins of Coast City not a soul left and he conjures an image of his parents. Reminder they are entirely Hal's imagination and again he is just about hysterical right now.

"I looked up to you. I worshipped the ground you walked on, or flew over. I wanted to grow up and be you... which probably has a lot to do with who I am now. Growing up, though, I never felt like you... I don't know thought that much of me."

As we saw Hal's dad died when he was Maybe ten. His little brother and older brother didn't have real accomplishments in elementary school. Jack the DA and Jim helping the campaign and having a family that's all modern. Stuff Martin would have never known about. Martin the pilot getting on Hal's case for having his head in the clouds? Really seems like Hal is the one he could have related to the most. Martin getting on Hal about not saving the city just proves Hal is projecting his worries about disappointing his dad onto his dad and then because he's so hysterical with grief forces himself to rewatch his dad dying.

Absolutely completely irrational state of mind he's in right now. At the end of this issue, he's going to fly off into space to kill all the Lanterns and the Guardians.

And then he summons Jessica. Calling her mother instead of mom is just really funny to me like informal with his strict dad formal with his chill mom. Lmao? Jessica only speaks on Martin. Reminding Hal of the good times they had. She's Hal's memory which which means Hal heard the story of dressing up as Santa he remembers his dad's aftershave. Summoning your mom just to talk about your dad is crazy work btw

Again Hal was so young when his dad died. Not a teenager not even close. What was Martin disappointed about? Maybe Hal who can't keep a job a girl or half his friends (Barry died and all super friends ditched him basically) is projecting backwards into time. And assumes his Dad would be disappointed in him.

"Personal gain? This is about personal loss!"

Personal loss and Hal's spent most of his time summoning his long dead father. He really never got over Martin dying and that's so apparent. Anyways this is where Hal decides to go into space and kill everybody. Seeing his dad taken from him one more time made him snap.

Hal is enamored with his father. Whether their relationship was tough or easy it wasn't necessarily the point. The point is Hal Jordan loves his father to Oa and back more than the rest of his family probably understood. He didn't just want to impress his father he wants to be him.

And Zero Hour royally fucked up Hal's family but like idk let's just say Infinite Crisis fixed it. That's two reality shattering events. Why not give Hal a little treat of being his dad's favorite. No one seems to miss when Jack, Jim, and Hal all went to the same college and the same fraternity and were besties

#dc comics #hal jordan #green lantern #martin jordan #long post

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real-total-drama-takes · 6 months

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the way that you think misogyny is over when you're a kid but you've been being forcefed it the whole time is crazy. Like I thought Susan B. Anthony solved all of my problems in the 1920s or whatever but like. it's everywhere. in music and school and cartoons it's just while. and racism too like. holy fuck.

ezekiel got punished for being a misogynist and that's all well and good, but then duncan gets away with EVERYTHING. like. from day 1 he was blatantly a misogynist. "what's for dinner woman?" LIKE HELLO why did they just say that? and not do anything about it? the entire show he was clearly not loyal at all to courtney like. he was so obviously flirting with heather all the time. and gwen too. I can't even explain how horribly misogynistic duncan was in the whole show.

and owen- oh my god. NO ONE TALKS ABOUT OWEN. the "double babe olympics", the "now it's just owen and two hot chicks". and so much like. NO ONE BRINGS THIS UP!!!

katie and sadie. anne maria. even dakota honestly. they were all just. misogynistic stereotypes. like hello. especially the way that anne maria is demonized when she did NOTHING WRONG. and this isn't limited to total drama but it drives the "the worst thing you can be is feminine" bullshit. like obviously you should be allowed to be masculine but I didn't want to be girly as a kid because I thought that meant I was stupid and one dimensional.

bridgette and geoff. okay. bridgette was absolutely TORN TO PIECES in this fandom for cheating on geoff. and you know what? I do think that's valid. BUT! EVERYONE IGNORES GEOFF. season two he was literally a demon like he was straight up evil he was worse than heather and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT these same people who love geoff HATE ON HEATHER for being so mean but hello geoff is RIGHT THERE he borderline was trying to kill people. and he ALSO cheated on bridgette. celebrity manhunt special, anyone? but no. apparently he did nothing wrong.

and I'm not even going to get into the love triangle.

and the racism like what this show did to leshawna is UNFORGIVABLE. total drama action especially and like I love the season but the racism is so rampant in it like holy jesus. and then like. every character of color is a stereotype ESPECIALLY IN GEN 1. the only gen 1 character I can think of that had nothing racist or like stereotypical to do with them is like. sierra. and then eva, even though she's not poc she's still a stereotype of east european people. I'm not going to get all that into the racism though because I am white and I don't really think I would be all that good to speak on it.

I'm also not going to speak about the fandom because this is already long enough but the fandom needs to GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER! it is okay to make mistakes, but what you need to do is REALIZE and BETTER YOURSELF! a lot of other people talk about misogyny in the fandom so please go read what they have to say too. I've seen popstart's posts and I think they do a wonderful job of speaking on misogyny and so you should DEFINITELY check them out. they inspired me to make this post.

but anyways. it doesn't even stop in the reboot. ripper and chase are just misogynistic and emma's whole character and it's just like. so bad. and then there's the whole "there's no homophobic characters!" like thanks terry wow. he can excuse misogyny but he draws the line at homophobia. after like what 15 years nothing EVER gets better because it seems like women are always the joke.

there obviously shouldn't be homophobia and racism but there also shouldn't be misogyny. and there shouldn't be pedophilia. it's so disgusting. and it needs to change.

#total drama #total drama 2023 #fandom takes

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oliviassunrise · 2 months

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33 or 35 for helen/dale? 🫣

Ahhhhhh!!! My first time writing Helen and Dale ever. I went with 35: “come to bed” kiss. Set during 2.03, after Helen visits Charlie and Dale talks with Gerry.

Kissing Prompts

…

“Helen?”

She doesn’t bother to look up from the stacks of paper cluttering the dining table. Printed interviews with herself, Dale, and even Geoff when he was still on the desk; profiles done on her throughout the years. Anything to give any clue where Donna Gillies got a lead to dig up her shit.

Helen tops off her glass with another dram of scotch, throwing it back and letting it burn going down. “How did she do it?”

Dale, in his now unbuttoned dress shirt and mussed hair, wanders slowly toward the table and stands behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders.

“She’s Donna Gillies,” he offers somewhat dumbly. Helen can’t fault him, though. The woman is a vicious succubus of information. “If she wants it, she gets it.”

“Someone said something.”

“And we’ll find them and put a stop to it,” Dale vows.

She turns to face him, contempt growing in her chest. This isn’t the first time of late that Dale has failed to try, to take action. He’s left her to the mercy of the network on more than one occasion, and he thinks he’s going to stop Donna fucking Gillies after floundering all day?

“Not even Charlie can make promises about this. What makes you so sure?”

Then he gets that sweet, boyish look about him—that sympathetic, gentle understanding that first made her fall in love with him. And she can’t stay angry. Especially when he steps around to face her, reaching for her hand.

She accepts, letting both of his palms encase her own. His voice is soft as he assures, “Because I know you and the hell you’ll reign down on them. And I’ll stand by you every second. Even if Donna succeeds, I will be here through it all, and we won’t go down without a fight.”

Something about his sincerity, about his devotion, has her standing up and drifting into his arms. They hold one another close, Helen breathing in the familiar, safe scent of his cologne and letting herself be encased in the warmth of his body.

And, for a little while, she believes him. She believes it will be okay.

His finger finds her chin, tipping it upward for her to look at him. His touch is feather light as he caresses her cheek, and she can’t help but melt into him as he presses the softest of kisses to her lips.

“It’s late,” he tells her. “Come on to bed. You need sleep.”

Helen, no longer having the energy to fight, lets her body take over and follows him to their bedroom, clicking off lights along the way. They don’t speak as they change into their night clothes and crawl beneath the covers. She says nothing to him as he wraps his arms around her.

Right now, it’s all they’ve got—each other.

Not a single Donna Gillies in the world can take that away.

At least…not now.

#ask kayli #the newsreader #helen x dale #my fic

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tdinyomomma · 8 months

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The Big Sleep- TDI x Reader story (ch:three)

If you haven’t read: Two

An air horn goes off and Leshawna shoots up, hitting her head. "Ow! It's 7:00 in the morning. Do I look like a farmer to you?" She shouts out the window. I tiredly laugh, yawning. We all get dressed making our way outside.

"Morning! Hope you slept well!" Chris greets us. "Hi Chris, you look really buff in those shorts." Heather feeds into his already major ego, fluffing him up. "I know." He winks, snapping at her. "Okay, I hope you're all ready because your next challenge begins in exactly one minute." Chris taps his wrist. "Oh, excuse me, I don't know if that's enough time to eat breakfast." Owen speaks up, clearly in distress about it. "Oh, you'll get breakfast Owen, right after you complete your 20 kilometer run around the lake." He announces, pointing to the body of water in front of us.

"Oh, so you're funny now?" Eva raises a brow. "You know what I think would be funny-" Geoff and Duncan hold her back from getting at the host of the show who's completely unbothered. "Eva, try to control your temper." Courtney whispers but gets ignored, "You're enjoying this aren't you?" She raises a fist. "A little." Chris admits.

"You have 30 seconds." He taunts, pointing at his watch. I just start walking to the lake, Cody jogs after me. "What?" I ask and he just grins. "Okay... then..."

We get into a line. "Okay, runners! On your mark, get set, go!" Chris yells, I start off with a slight jog, not completely pushing myself here. Cody of course keeps up with me. "You're good at this." He compliments and at this point I just feel like I'm good at everything with how many compliments I'm getting and I do not need to feed into my ego. "So are you, Cory was it?" i know his name but I like messing with people. "Cody, but you can call me Cory. You can call me anything you'd like." Hey says and I mentally curse then run faster. "Hey, wait up!" He calls.

"Pick it up people! If you're not back in time, you don't eat!" Chris yells into a mega phone just like he did on the cliff. Only this time he's driving past us on a moped.

I roll my eyes, running past plenty of others with a bored expression. I was on my school's track team, this is nothing.

Cody and I make it into the lodge with DJ, we all sit together, catching our breaths and cooling down. All of us sat silently to calm down. I throw my head down, waiting for everyone to fill in the lodge. "Clear the table stat!" Owen bursts through the door, holding a knocked out Noah. "Oh, we made it." Leshawna crawls in as Owen is doing compressions on Noah.

"What took you so long?" Courtney snaps at Harold who's gripping onto his chest trying to breathe in and out. "I think I'm having heart palpitations."

"Hey, wait a minute. If they lost that means we won the challenge!" Gwen says, everyone stops what they're doing to cheer, even Noah wakes up from whatever he was in. "Whoa there! Hold your horses, guys. That wasn't the challenge." Chris says.

"What did he just say?" Gwen squinted her eyes, but disappointment was cut short when curtains I didn't even see were there open to a whole buffet table. "Who's hungry?"

"After a whole week of brown sludge, I almost cried when I saw that buffet." Gwen admits.

"And then I saw it, the buffet table. It was beautiful. There was Turkey and Nanaimo bars and baked beans in maple syrup. Could I have a minute?" He then pretends to cry, holding his head.

Everyone ended up stuffing themselves. I got disgusted by all the chewing. I ended up only eating a tiny bit before leaving the lodge. I sat outside until I heard Chris talk about how it's a two part challenge. Some awake-a-thon and being the last one standing wins invincibility.

We're all sat out by the fire and I just feel bored, not even tired. Maybe because I didn't eat as much as everyone else did.

12 hours in, Owen went on about being up but not even seconds later passed out. I laugh, taking out my MP3 Player and earbuds to listen to music but it was really just to eavesdrop or be peaceful.

"The awake-a-thon was definitely the most brutal thing I've ever done in my life." Gwen tiredly tells the camera.

"This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my life." Gwen says.

"So my strategy is to get two campers to form an alliance with me and take to the final three. The only question is, who can I find that is either desperate or dumb enough to do whatever I say?" Heather shares her idea.

Lindsay's now doing a handstand and one of my earbuds is now out of my ear. Because even seeing this I do not understand what this blonde is doing right now. "What are you doing?" Gwen asks her, I thank her mentally because I didn't want to be the one to ask. "Trying to get the blood to rush to my head. I think it's working." She says simply. "Can I try?" Beth excitedly questions. "Sure."

I turn to Leshawna. "I wonder how they're gonna go out." I chuckle and she snorts. "Heather will definitely take care of that." We both quietly laugh.

Cody looks up at me and waves, I do a peace sign back causing him to tiredly grin. "What's going on between you two?" Leshawna giggles, nudging me and I try not my best not to laugh. "He has some stupid crush on me. It'll pass." I wave it off as nothing.

"I know like 4 people that got some stupid crush on that girl. Wouldn't say I'm surprised though. Did you see the way she effortlessly ran today? Amazing." She perks up but then catches what she's saying and then stammers. "I mean... like she literally ran that without breaking a sweat it seemed. That's crazy."

Eva gets up to go to the bathroom. I turn back to Leshawna. "Do you have your eye on anyone?" I play with the string of my ear buds.

"Nah, we ain't here for all that." She was lying. I could tell by the way she holds herself. I raise my eyebrows and she nervously laughs. "I'm serious." I put my hands up in defense. "Okay, okay." I whisper. "What about you?" She brings it back to me, which I should've known was going to happen. I catch myself glancing over to Gwen then over to Heather but I shake my head. "There's definitely some attractive people here but I don't know about crushing." I hum, leaning back on the wood.

Now hitting the 24 hour mark I sat with Gwen, 9 of us awake and 7 of the Killer Bass. Courtney's running in place.

Tyler screams, jolting a few people up. "Congratulations campers. You've made it to the 24 hour mark. Time to take it up a notch." He uncovers a pile of books as Chef was wearing a pink lamb costume and holding a lyre? "Fairy tales."

"Oh he's not serious." Gen says. "I think he is." I roll my eyes and Chris clears his throat, opening a book. "Once upon a time, there was inside this boring kingdom... a boring village. And inside this boring, sleepy village, filled with very boring children who did very boring things..." Next was Chef spreading glitter in a tu-tu dancing ballet.

Dj tied himself straight onto a tree but knocked it down after instantly falling asleep. "Timber!" Gwen yawned.

Now at the 40 hour mark, 4 Killer bass and 7 of us remained. I'm not lying in front of Gwen. My limbs sprawled out. We're five now as Beth and Lindsay pass out.

"Okay, favorite song?" Gwen asks me, and I think for a minute. "Breaking dishes." I stretched then sat up. "Favorite color?" I ask. "Midnight blue, yours?"

"The rainbow, I couldn't pick any color then the others would be left out." I rant a little bit and Gwen awes at my answer right before yawning. I sprung into slight action, getting onto my knees and ankles shaking her jokingly. "Don't fall asleep. Okay, quick. Favorite movie moment?" I question her.

"You're gonna think it's cheesy." She says and I chuckle. "I might but hey mine's probably stupid." I assure her... kind of. "You might?" She laughs, "I gotta be honest." I smile as we both calm our laughter. "But seriously, no judgment here." I put my pinky up and she links hers with mine. "Okay, the kiss at the end of that road-trip movie. You know the one with the guy and the three girls?" My jaw drops. "Really? I love that movie." I gasp, grabbing onto one of her hands. "No way, people always call that movie stupid." And as I went to say something in response a naked, sleepwalking Owen walked in front of us.

Our eyes widen sharply before following over to see his clothes laid out on the ground.

"Did I mention that I ate the entire dish of baked beans and maple syrup? Funny thing about baked beans, they make me sleepwalk." He awkwardly informs the audience.

Gwen was now laying on her stomach as I stayed sitting up. "Wow, they sleep together too." I laugh and she tiredly smiles. "Even though this is to go all the way to just one person I hope we make it to the end together." Gwen yawns, I stare up at the sky humming in agreement. But if I'm being truly honest I know I can't get too attached to anyone. At the end of the day this is 100,000 dollars on the line.

Now we're both watching the stars, laying flat on the ground, her pinky linked with mine. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, it's weird but I think I'm so tired that I'm not tired anymore. Does that make sense?" She explains, I yawn once again causing her to yawn too. "Definitely, but we can get through this. Think of how good not being eliminated will feel." I remind her. "True."

We then look for constellations again and really I'm just listening to her talk. It was quite soothing but as I'm listening I look around at the others. I notice Heather alone and staring at me. Since she's so tired her reflexes were slow so I caught it before she looked away. I smile to myself. "You still there, [Name]?" Gwen wiggles her pinky and I chuckle. "I'm right here." I assure her.

At 51 hours Gwen and I are now standing and watching Justin not moving, in some weird pose. "Look at him, he's like a statue. He hasn't moved in over 50 hours." Gwen points out and we both yell at him, making random noises but he doesn't even falter. "Amazing, look at the concentration." She compliments but I stare at him closely, rubbing the back of my neck once I realize his eyes are painted. "Aren't his eyes blue? Like menacingly blue?" I quiz, waving a hand in his face but Gwen actually pokes him in the cheek. His head shakes and his real eyes open. We both gasp. "

"His eyelids are painted, I saw it!" Eva calls. "Shut up! Oh, I've got to see this." Chris laughs, sprinting to Justin who smiles nervously, knowing he's just been caught. "That is so freaking cool," Chris admits. "But you're still out, dude." He walks away, the model slumps sadly.

Hours pass, hitting 84 and I don't even understand how we're making it this far. It's all worth it though to see Noah spooning Cody, kissing his ear. The two wake up screaming.

Now it's up to Gwen, Heather, Trent and I. "i'd kill for a coffee right now." Gwen tells us, I nod bringing my knees to my chest. I sat in front of Heather, besides Gwen. "What is the matter with you people?" Chris comes up to us with a coffee in hand, sipping it quite loudly. "Come on, fall asleep already," He whines.

Gwen crawls to his knees. "You gotta hook me up man. I'll even eat the grinds." She pleads with the annoying host. "All right, you six stay with me. The rest of you go and get a shower, for heaven's sake you stink!" He orders the losers and I sigh wishing I was them right about now.

"I didn't want it to come to this. I said that to Chef Hatchet last night. I said, "Chef, I don't want it to come to this." But darn it, these campers are tough. And so I've come up with the most boring, sleep inducing activity I can find." Chris announces to the camera or the audience- whatever. I'm too tired to think.

"Oh, Come on. What now? Okay, you know what? Bring it on." Gwen places her hands on her hips.

"The history of Canada." The red covered book pops open. "A pop up book." It was a beaver. "Chapter on: The Beaver, national symbol and a "dam" fine hat." He reads, we all groan but I can feel my sleepiness really kick in. Eva fell asleep and so did Heather.

Trent starts to fall back, Gwen and I try to save him but it is too late. "Damn." I shake my head.

"Time for a bathroom break. Any takers?" He asks us three.

"I've held it this long, Mouse and Sweetheart." I wince as he holds himself. "I can go all day." He tells us. "Yeah but can you hold it for ten more chapters?" Gwen Crosses her arms. That gets him to get up and make his way to the bathroom. "You've got 5 minutes." Chris tells the bad teen. "Long as you don't mind a little company." Chris adds the last part. "Fine but stay out of the stall." Duncan snaps at the camera man who nods his head.

Gwen and I sit down and she sighs. "I don't know how much longer I can do this." She groans. "Keep it up, Gwenny. You got this." I rub her arm and her face turns pink. "You too."

A cameraman gives Chris a paper. "We have news! It looks like Duncan's taken a dive on the can, which means the official winners of the awake-a-thon are Gwen-" She goes to fall face first to the ground but I catch her, bringing her up into my arms. "And [Name]!"

"The Screaming Gophers win!" Chris holds up our weak hands.

I stand up, throwing Gwen over my shoulder and carrying her to our cabin with as much strength as I can muster. Gripping onto the railing to steady myself up the stairs as she's knocked out cold. I whimper up the final stair, bursting in through the door and lying her down on her bunk before I end up collapsing on the ground, instantly falling asleep on the hardwood floor.

Four

Link to all chapters

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canonically47 · 2 months

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evil version of that previous anon: and what were your LEAST favorite parts of each of those seasons?

sorry i got to this so late! buuut

total drama

season 1: leshawna's elimination. just... utter bullshit. closely followed by geoff's. also utter bullshit. in fact heather's whole plot armor was meh

season 2: sorry guys but courtney's entire arc. i can't stand her in TDA. she's meh to okay at best in TDI and fine until the gwuncan stuff in TDWT, after that i just can't even. she's so annoying sorry <//3

season 3: EZEKIEL'S MUTANT ARC COME ONNN MY MAN DESERVES BETTER LET HIM BE HAPPY FUCK YOU

season 4: the all-men finale. we should've gotten a zoey vs cameron finale. boo

season 5: the fact that it exists. i have so many problems with it, it's hard to narrow it down to just one single part i hated most, but there is one! i hated how every character was dumbed down. heather just telling alejandro she had the idol. alejandro just telling mal he had proof he was evil. many eliminations. the fact that the final five was... well, that. but most, i hated mal's arc and how mike was 'cured' of DID by pressing a button. i won't speak much on it since it's nowhere near my expertise nor business as a singlet but i would imagine that is. not how it fucking works. at all and just such a sad sterotyped thing to add an eViL alter to the poor guy just to give him more substance. plus i've discussed this with a mutual before but mal just feels like max taken seriously by the narrative. yeah i hate this season there's a reason it gets trampled in my fic

season 6: there was so much potential for max to be a hero and stand up to scarlett. like. so much. i love him he deserved better. that's not the worst tho and if you're new here let me tell you I FUCKING HATE DAVE. OKAY. i have a BIG issue with that guy which is half because he reminds me of some asshole i know irl and half because he just fucking sucks. i don't get any dave ship, any dave love, anything at all. there is nothing to like about him. he is genuinely one of the very few total drama characters that i can't even make up the substance he lacks. just. fuck dave

season 7 (RR): the daters and best friends fell so flat for me in different ways. the daters were just so annoying and i couldn't have been happier at their elimination. the best friends just felt so forced to me. i mean i'm also a romance-repulsed(-ish, not always, it's complicated) aromantic but oh my goddd... they dragged on for sooo loooongggggggg

season 8: the jurasic fart episode. also how chase treated emma. again fuck these allos /j

season 9: PRILEB. OKAY LISTEN. i fucking LOVE prileb BUT i also fucking HATEEE them. they could've been so good if priya was just eliminated earlier. caleb could've had more to him than priya's misunderstood boyfriend, he could've made alliances and friends, but noooo just give him an entire miscommunication arc FUCK YOU yeah prileb could've been so good if it was good (total drama catchphrase)

disventure camp

season 1: fiore's betrayal to alec felt like terrible writing to me and i'll still stand by that. a character like fiore needs more than one side and alec was that other, softer, caring side. and they threw it all away for shock value! <//3 i really hope these two make up :( i miss them so much. oh also the downfall of tomjake like what the fuck happened oh my

season 2: some challenges were... creepy and weird to say the least. spin the wheel to see who to kiss? my aro ass could never. and when kristal indirectly outed aiden during the dares challenge? like, this yo host? trevor would never <3

season 3: whatever the fuck riya and connor, as well as tom and jake, as well as ally and hunter, as well as- FUCK IT WHATEVER THE FUCK THE COUPLES HAVE GOING ON. YES ALL OF THEM EXcept gabellie. keep going my loves you're doing great

#asks #my asks #total drama #total drama island #total drama 2023 #total drama reboot #ridonculous race #disventure camp #disventure camp all stars #campamento desventura #odd nation cartoons

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hughjidiot · 5 months

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Thoughts on the TDI Reboot Season Two, Episodes 5 and 6

Okay the next two episodes of the reboot have premiered, and here are my collective thoughts on the characters and what's been happening. Spoilers below the cut, obviously.

Nichelle is out 5th and quit on top of that thanks to a fake movie contract planted by Julia. Honestly that kind of surprised me; my prediction was that Nichelle would make it to the merge where she'd get voted off because her improved athleticism made her a threat. I thought it would be ironic: in season one she was eliminated for being weak, and in season two she'd be eliminated for being too strong. Well at least Julia got some villain cred, even if it was a bit contrived and felt like Nichelle needed to lose some IQ points to make it possible. I'm not too broken up, but I can see why others might take issue with it.

(You know what would be hilarious though? If when the eliminated campers return for the finale, Nichelle reveals that people in Hollywood saw her improved performance in season two and actually did give her a movie deal.)

Instead, it was Bowie eliminated first after the merge. Now this makes much more sense: after MK's cheating was exposed, Julia convinced team Rat Face that it was Bowie's idea. Priya and Caleb were both victims of Bowie's schemes at some point, Zee is easy to fool, and Axel and Damien wouldn't know Bowie and MK well enough to know for sure but they do know Bowie placed second last season so they know he's a threat. In any case I really enjoyed Bowie this season: I loved the drama of him being torn between wanting to play dirty while not wanting to upset Raj. And he and Raj are adorable together, so I'm glad the cheating didn't lead to any major problems in their relationship.

Speaking of which, I loved Wayne and Raj standing up for their principles in episode five and refusing to go along with MK and Julia's schemes. And they continue to be hilarious on top of that. If I'm being honest though I kind of hope one of them goes soon, so we can finally see how the other gets along without his bro.

Then there's Zee, who continues to be absolutely hilarious. "I killed Priya's pillow boyfriend!" had me rolling. And he's actually involved with a plotline now! He knows about Priya's crush on Caleb and that Caleb is only looking for an alliance. Or at least, he was...

Caleb appears to be actually falling for Priya. Very interesting development. And Priya continues to be head over heels for Caleb, but at least she recognizes that she can't let it affect her game. Very interested to see where things go with them as a potential ship.

As for our other ship, Ripper and Axel seem to be getting along very well. I've seen some people comparing them to how Geoff and Bridgette were in TDA, but I think that's unfair. Sure they're into each other but not to the point where they can't focus on the game. (Axel getting distracted by Bowie's claim that Ripper was making out with a raccoon not withstanding.) Now that the teams have merged I hope we can see them spending time together and bonding in a way that involves more than making out. I'm surprisingly invested in this ship.

Well look at that, Damien actually won a challenge! I was hoping he'd start being more proactive in season two, and now we might finally be getting that. Especially since he's said he wants to find the immunity idol that's now in play, which Priya and Caleb are also hunting for...

Last but certainly not least, Julia and MK. Julia got some major villain cred these episodes, getting Nichelle and her arch enemy Bowie eliminated. Meanwhile MK's intern scheme was exposed, so that plotline's over. (I love how Chris had no problem with her cheating, but her stealing his hairdryer crossed the line.) They continue to be great together as a bad guy duo, and I can't wait to see more of it. (Especially if it evolves into romance, as I and many others are hoping for.)

Also, here's a bit of irony I noticed: in season one, Julia got eliminated in episode 6, and in season two Julia saved MK from elimination in episode 6.

And that's everyone. Aside from a few minor complaints, I'm still loving this season! The characters are all great, the plotlines are engaging, and the jokes are absolutely hilarious. And best of all I have no idea who could be going home next, so I'm very excited for the next episodes.

#hugh jidiot rambles #total drama island #total drama spoilers #tdi 2023 #td nichelle #td bowie #td mk #td julia #td priya #td caleb #td zee #td damien #td ripper #td axel #td wayne #td raj

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claireelizabeth85 · 2 days

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Come Home To Me - Chapter 8

John Egan x OC!Female

Summary: When the idea of a past life turns out it isn't just an idea or a dream.

Warning: Military inaccuracies, mentions of death.

AN: Thought I’d surprise you all with an extra chapter this week (I’m on holidays and writing will resume when I’m home).

AN2: This is a work of fiction and is based on the TV characters from the Apple TV series. No disrespect is intended towards the real men of the 100th BG.

All previous chapters can be found here

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Sarah couldn't help but marvel at the view as their bomber levelled off at altitude. “Liz, this view! It’s just so beautiful...and so quiet up here.” Sarah felt as though she was in a completely different world. Sure she’d flown commercially before, but this was something else all together.

Lizzy glanced over, happy that her friend saw the beauty in flying. “Sarah, it’s time for oxygen. We’re at an altitude of 10,000ft and the air is thin up here.” She quickly radioed the tower about their holding pattern, then flicked on the internal intercom system, easing their need to keep touching their throats to speak.

Holding the envelope that Johnny had given her, Sarah felt a twinge of anxiety. She knew that they had something to do with this, but she just wasn’t sure what. Breaking the seal, inside the envelope she found a flight plan to Berlin along with a letter. She handed the plan over to Lizzy who took hold of it with a frown. Making quick calculations on a clear window strapped to her knee, muttering a curse under her breath. She switched her radio back to the external setting.

“Tower, this is Queen Bee. Requesting to switch to VHF Channel 7. I need to speak to Geoff, over.”

After a short wait, Geoff's voice crackled through. “Lizzy, it’s Geoff. Everything ok?”

“Geoff, what's up with this flight plan you had sent over before we took off? I thought you said we were a no-go for German airspace?”

Geoff sounded confused. “We didn’t send any flight plans. It was supposed to be as we discussed...hang on.” There was a pause filled with static. “Ok, it looks like someone filed a plan in your name. You’ve got clearance for all needed airspaces. You're all set for Berlin. Flight time is four hours.”

The colour drained from Lizzy’s face. “Berlin, right okay.” she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. “Thanks Geoff, for everything you’ve done for me and Sarah. I don’t know how this is going to go and if we’re going to see you again. So take care of yourself. Queen Bee out.”

As she changed their heading, Lizzy's mind raced and her heart pounded with a mix of dread and determination. The uncertainty evident in her frown.

“Looks like we’re heading to Berlin after all. At least there’s no need to steal the plane, huh?” Sarah tried to joke, but it fell flat.

“I...I’m not sure about this. I don’t know if I can go back there. It's the one place...” Lizzy’s voice trailed off, haunted by memories she could barely grasp.

Seeing her friend's distress, Sarah reached out and squeezed Lizzy’s arm. “Hey, it’s ok. If you don’t want to, then we can go back and you can land the plane and it will all be over. But we both know that you don’t want to do that. I know you’re scared Liz, but maybe facing what happened in Berlin is a part of this whole crazy situation. Wasn’t it where your last mission went sideways?”

Lizzy nodded, grimacing as old memories surfaced. “It was a thousand bomber strong mission. One of the biggest missions we had flown over Germany. The IP was the marshalling yards in the city. But the flak…. It was so strong. We lost so many crews, two went down in front of us before we really knew what was going on. I got hit in the leg and I ...it all went black. I think I….”

Sarah held Lizzy's gaze, her voice firm. “No Liz. You were MIA, remember? Rosenthal’s report said MIA.” Lizzy shook her head. “I don’t think I was. I think I stayed on the plane…I told Rosie to get out.”

Lizzy could only see Sarah’s eyes and they were glassy with emotion. “He said you were steadfast in your choice to stay onboard.” Lizzy chuckled. “That’s Rosie, always the lawyer, even when he’s talking about people making idiotic choices.” The sombre emotion hung in the air like a thick cloud. Neither one of them wanted to discuss it further.

As they settled into the flight, Lizzy walked Sarah through the other jobs that the crew would have had, including navigation and teaching her the basics about calling out the timings and when to call out their headings, which were fortunately written down as part of the flight plan.

“Is this what you guys did on missions? Call out the timings and the heading?”

“No, the pilots wouldn’t, it was the Navigator’s job. They had all the maps and bearings of where things were that we needed as markers. We had some of the best navigators in the entire eighth air force. One of my best friends was a Navigator.”

Sarah was curious. “Will you tell me about them? I’ve only ever read about their deaths and I didn’t think to ask as you were a little…” Sarah didn’t want to say the obvious. “Drunk, it’s alright you can say it”.

Lizzy knew that her best friend was screwing her face up in that “I didn’t want to say it” way. “Well you were so upset over that letter, I didn’t want to make things worse.”

Lizzy nodded, acknowledging that she hadn’t been the greatest friend over the last couple of days or even. “It’s just been a little…overwhelming. My head feels like there’s two lives kicking around up there. Two sets of memories and one is so much stronger than the other. It feels like the more I remember the past, the more the memories I make day to day fade. It’s like ... I can’t tell you what school I went to 20 years ago, hell I couldn't tell you what our uni professors were called but I can describe to you in detail the street my parents and two older brothers and I lived on in London 85 years ago.” Sarah’s eyes were wide.

“Oh shit” she breathed out. “What Sarah, what is it?” Lizzy checked all around her, the reaction a reflex and then checked over their direction and heading, making the necessary adjustments to keep them on course.

“I have been looking at this all wrong. I thought you were from here, in the now and somehow went back to the past. I thought the loop started here, but it didn’t! You weren’t born in the 1980s, you were born in the 1900s and you came to us. Like….like….a second chance, maybe. Like you weren’t meant to die, if that’s what we’re thinking happened. You were meant to survive and go home!!’

Lizzy frowned, her eyebrows creasing deep to show her scepticism. “You think I’m reincarnated?”

Sarah let out a chuckle. “No, not in the sense of a dead mummy that came back to life. But think about it, I’ve been your best friend for what, six nearly seven years and you’ve never once mentioned your brothers or your parents, not until now. We only left uni three years ago and you can’t remember the man that made our academic lives a misery! But you’re telling me that you can describe, in detail, a house you lived in nearly a hundred years ago! The only way I can describe it is like the original you, your memories, personality etc was shot forward into a new version but you’ve got a blanket over your head and slowly but surely, as the memories come back, holes appear in the blanket, until eventually the blanket has gone.” Lizzy couldn’t help but laugh.

“You don’t half come out with some analogies! So you think I’m originally from the 40s, I wasn’t meant to die when I did, so what - I wake up 80 years later, not remembering anything but instead have a whole new set of memories, make friends with you so we can go back together?” Sarah was frantically nodding her head.

“Yes! And I think the closer we get to Berlin and this cloud, the more you’re going to remember. The more you’re going to become your old self again!”

Lizzy sat still. Not frowning or laughing but pensive in thought. “But what if I forget you? I don’t want to forget you. Even if what you say is right, I don't want to forget our friendship.” Sarah just pointed at the small black and white photograph propped up against the gauges. “I don’t think you will.”

As they approached Berlin airspace, Lizzy’s grip on the controls tightened, her knuckles whitening. The skies ahead were deceptively calm, crystal clear with only the distant outline of Berlin breaking the horizon, but she could hear the flak in the distance. As they edged closer, the calm shattered, flecks of light, eerily resembling flak, began to burst around them.

“Sarah, do you see that? The flak?”

Sarah, peering intently through the window, saw nothing but serene skies.

“Liz, there’s nothing there. It’s all clear.”

But Lizzy’s world was unravelling. The sky around her teemed with chaos, vivid bursts of flak shredding the air, their sharp blasts echoing in her ears. The distant and unmistakable rumble of anti-aircraft guns vibrated through her body. Her hands trembled on the controls, her breaths quick and shallow. “It’s everywhere, Sarah! Can’t you hear that? The guns—they’re deafening!” Lizzy could feel the plane start to bounce around as she tried to avoid the explosions.

Sarah reached out, her hand gripping Lizzy’s shoulder in an attempt to anchor her to the present. “Liz, listen to me, it’s quiet. There are no guns. It’s just us here.”

But the past was too powerful, its grip too strong. Panic surged through Lizzy as she struggled to reconcile the serene reality Sarah described with the visceral warzone her mind insisted they were flying through.

Suddenly, Sarah's face blurred, her calming voice vanishing, and in her seat, Lizzy saw Major Robert "Rosie" Rosenthal. His eyes concentrating on the situation around them. “Rosie?” Lizzy whispered, her voice trembling as he barked orders, coordinating a phantom squadron.

“Oil pressure is dropping on two and four. Engine three is on fire!” Rosie’s voice cut through the cacophony of the past clashing with the present.

As quickly as it came, the hallucination faded, and Sarah’s concerned voice broke through. “Lizzy, what’s going on? Talk to me!”

Reality and memory collided, Lizzy could feel tiny pin pricks in her leg but as she looked down there was nothing there.

The edges of the cloud bank ominously loomed ahead. Lizzy’s resolve hardened as fear tinged her voice. She turned the bomber toward the clouds, the boundary between past and present.

“Sarah, I don’t know what’s going to happen when we hit this cloud. I can see Rosie, and I think… I think I’m not here anymore. You might not be with me. You need to be safe.”

Her words rushed out, a torrent of fear and confusion. “If you end up back at Thorpe Abbotts, find Jack Kidd and Crosby. They’ll look after you.”

As Lizzy pushed them forward into the cloud, the world twisted. The serene blue sky twisted and marbled with the black clouds of anti aircraft, the sound of flak intensified, a roaring symphony that drowned out Sarah’s attempts to reassure her. Voices from the past echoed through the cockpit, shouting positions of enemy fighters in a battle fought long ago.

Time seemed to fracture. Rosie was there again, real and urgent, yanking on her shoulder. “Liz! Lizzy! We have to get out now! Come on, Liz, get up!” Pain erupted in her leg, the fire streaking up her leg and into her spine. “I can’t Rosie, I can’t move. I’ll keep the plane steady and you go.” Shrapnel had torn through flesh, her flying suit stained with blood. “I can’t stand”.

“I’m not leaving you behind Lizzy. That’s not going to happen. I’m not going let you give up. So get up Lieutenant! Get up!” Putting the plane into autopilot and with Rosie’s help, she strapped herself into her parachute, the din of the failing bomber surrounding them. “You have to jump, Liz. You have to go!! Before we’re too low!!!”

Lizzy leaped, the cold rush of air a harsh slap as she plummeted toward the earth. She yanked the ripcord, but the ground approached too fast. She tried to tuck and roll, but her legs buckled under the impact. Pain blinded her, and as she crumpled to the ground, her vision blurred, her consciousness slipping away, sinking deep into the depths of her tormented memories, where war raged on in endless loops.

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If you like the chapter, please share the love. Loves and reblogs feed my soul. If you want to gossip about what could come next, my ask and messages are open.

Taglist:

@victoryrollsandredlips @bobparkhurst @thedeviltohisangel @instructionsnotincluded @prettyinlimegreenboots @ginabaker1666 @luminouslywriting

#masters of the air #mota #john egan #gale cleven #bucky barnes #major john egan #john egan x lizzy waterfield #john bucky egan #mota fanfiction

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scintillyyy · 7 months

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the thing is that yj shouldn't necessarily speak, hm, derisively about how they dressed when they were 13-14 (a la geoff johns cassie in tt03) however it is completely normal to be 16 and look back at what you wore when you were 13 and be like. ugh. what was i thinking. and then eventually you turn 18 and realize you were really no better at 16. and then you turn 25 and you just start making fun of everything you wore from about age 8 to age 21.

#and i do have my fair share of complaints with tt03 despite my soft spot for it #but sometimes it's like 'this 16 year old character would never say that'#and i'm like. ah yes. of course. 16. a prime age where children notably act completely in character and like themselves.

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ailendolin · 21 days

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Hope - A BBC Ghosts Fanfic

Title: Hope [AO3]

Characters: pre-Nigel/Thomas, Jean, the Plague Ghosts

Summary: Thomas can't handle the quiet after Alison, Mike and Mia leave.

A/N: I began writing this after I finally got to see the final episode of Ghosts last January and couldn't stop thinking about how difficult that first night after the Coopers left must have been for the ghosts with the house being all quiet and everyone probably retreating into their rooms to deal with the new situation on their own.

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Hope

It was late. Not yet past midnight but still later than usual according to the chime of the old grandfather clock that echoed too loudly through the silent house. Normally, Nigel and the others went to bed early just as they’d done their whole lives but today was not a normal day.

Today, Alison and Mike had left.

Alison had tears in her eyes when she’d come down to the basement to say goodbye earlier. It had been painfully obvious to Nigel that a part of her didn’t want to leave but he hadn’t told her that. He did not want to be the person making this harder for her than it already was. She’d made her decision, for better or worse, and all he could do now was support her in it. So he’d smiled at her and said, “Have a good life, Alison.”

And he’d meant it. He and the others did not begrudge her selling the house. They would miss her, though. She had always been kind to them – even if she did call them zombies, once – and made sure to keep the light on so they would not have to sit in the dark. Today, she’d turned off the light for the first time in years.

“I’ll leave the door open for you guys,” she’d said with one last smile. “I know it’s not the same but this way, you’ll at least have a little light when the electricity will be cut tomorrow.”

The moment she’d turned around, Mick started crying.

It was another reminder that everything would be different now, and Nigel wasn’t sure how he felt about that. The hotel would turn the house upside down and they knew their little corner of it would not escape the renovations. Alison had said they would love the sauna but he had to admit he was still a little sceptical about it.

“Won’t it smell if all the livings come down here to sweat?” he’d asked the others back when Alison had first informed them about the plans.

Geoff had shrugged. “Can’t be worse than us, eh?”

That had gotten a laugh out of everyone.

There was no laughter ringing through the house this night; no calls for dinner from the kitchen, no crying from Mia, no music playing. The quietness reminded Nigel of the time when Humphrey had been alive, and not in a good way, and he could tell the others felt it too. Even though no one said a word, it was clear none of them were eager to go to sleep that night.

So they talked – about the time Mike tried to repair the boiler and nearly blew up the house in the process, about that memorable night when Alison desperately tampered with the lights to imitate Robin, and that fateful Christmas Day a little over two years ago when Thomas’s portrait found its way down to them and caused all sorts of excitement.

“Thank god we’re over that,” Walter’s wife said and the others nodded in agreement.

Nigel glanced over at the portrait in the corner where it stood half-covered and among a myriad of other things Alison and Mike had left behind, and thought, Speak for yourself.

He might no longer be blinded by Thomas’s posed prettiness but that didn’t mean he didn’t find him handsome at all. There was just something about the way Thomas held himself that drew him in. Nigel had likened him to a flamingo once and he stood by that. Thomas was graceful, and his voice – oh it was the sound dreams were made of. Misty Glade might have been a mess of words and metaphors but Nigel didn’t think he’d even have noticed if the others hadn’t started questioning it because Thomas had recited it so beautifully. Thomas could read from the boiler manual for all he cared if it meant he’d get to listen to that beautiful deep cadence of his voice again or watch him prance around on stage playing a prince with all the pathos in the world.

If he were pressed to name the moment when he realised the portrait situation had been more than a passing fancy for him, Nigel would say it was the end of the panto. Thomas had looked so happy then – so completely at ease and content it had taken Nigel’s breath away. He’d never realised how beautiful Thomas’s smile was until he saw it that night in the gentle glow of the Christmas lights, and a part of him began to dream that Thomas would smile at him like that one day.

That was all it was, though: a dream. Nigel had never had any illusions that it could be more, which was why he didn’t tell anyone about what that foolish heart of his felt every time Thomas was so much as mentioned. Judging by the looks Jean sometimes gave him, he suspected she knew anyway. She seemed to have an uncanny sixth sense for this sort of thing – perhaps that’s how managed to hide her feelings for Geoff for so long, Nigel mused with a smile.

When he tuned back in to the conversation, the topic had moved from Thomas’s portrait to the panto.

“Oh, it was so much fun, wasn’t it?” Geoff’s wife said with a happy sigh.

“I did not like the sisters,” Mick grumbled.

Everyone groaned and gave him a look.

“You were not supposed to, silly,” Jean said. “They were meant to be like that.”

“Cinderella deserved better,” Mick insisted.

Nigel was just about to remind him that she ended up with the handsome prince in the end when the soft sound of a throat being cleared made him and the others turn towards the open basement door in unison. To his surprise, Thomas was standing there, looking terribly small and self-conscious in the gloom.

“Knock knock,” he said softly without looking up from his shoes. His fingers were nervously fiddling with the cuff of his sleeves, making him look restless and skittish. “I, uhm … didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation.”

“And yet you have,” Walter said, crossing his arms in front of his chest and staring him down. “What do you want?”

Thomas took an involuntary step backwards. His eyes flicked up, just briefly, but long enough for Nigel to see that they were a little too wide; a little too frantic and glassy.

“Sorry,” Thomas mumbled. He hunched his shoulders and turned away. “I’m sorry. I’ll just go.”

“No, wait!” Nigel said and before he knew it, he was across the room. Ignoring the irritated look Walter gave him, he gently touched Thomas’s arm – not to hold him back but to reassure him he meant no harm. “What’s going on?”

Thomas sniffed pitifully and hung his head.

“The house is so quiet,” he whispered. There was a lost look in his eyes when he glanced up, and a silent plea for Nigel not to make him spell out why he’d come here. It tugged at Nigel’s heart and crush or not, he knew in that moment that he would not send Thomas away to suffer this loss they all felt so keenly alone.

“It is, isn’t it?” he said softly. Giving Thomas’s arm a squeeze, he added, “Come on, you can sit with us for a while.”

“Excuse me–“ Geoff’s wife and Walter said in unison only for Jean to shush them both with a heartfelt, “Oh shut up, you two. We’ve got room for one more.”

Walter glowered at her. “Not if he starts reciting his bloody poetry we don’t.”

Thomas seemed to shrink in on himself at the sharp words and it took all of Nigel’s willpower not to rub his arm reassuringly – or turn around and punch Walter in the face. As satisfying as the latter might feel, he was not in the mood for a row with Walter, not tonight.

“Don’t listen to him,” he told Thomas instead, careful to keep his voice soft and gentle. “It’s okay if you don’t want to be alone right now.”

The small but grateful smile Thomas gave him did nothing to calm the butterflies fluttering nervously about in Nigel’s stomach.

“There’s enough people upstairs if he needs someone to hold his hand,” Walter muttered under his breath but a quick glare from Jean finally shut him up.

“They’ve all gone to bed early,” Thomas said with his head bent low as Nigel led him over to a corner. “We … we haven’t really talked, not since–“

His breathing hitched and he closed his eyes against the emotions threatening to well up inside him. As gently as he could, Nigel helped him sit down on the old stone floor before he joined him. He wasn’t surprised when Jean settled down on Thomas’s other side.

“It sucks sometimes, doesn’t it? Being alone with your own thoughts?” she asked kindly.

Thomas sighed and nodded, almost helplessly. “I keep thinking about what tomorrow will be like, and the following weeks and months and years, and I just – I can’t stop.”

Jean smiled in understanding. “So you came down here for a distraction because god knows we never shut up.”

Thomas hung his head in shame. “I’m sorry. I did not mean–”

“Hey,” Nigel said, cutting him off before the self-blame could take hold. “Don’t worry about it. We’re glad to have you here.”

“Some of us certainly are,” Jean smirked, not even trying to hide her knowing grin when Nigel glared at her.

Luckily for Nigel, Thomas neither noticed the silent conversation he was having with Jean nor the blush Nigel knew was creeping up the back of his neck. He just pulled his legs up to his chest so he could rest his chin on his knees and said, very quietly. “Thank you. I … I wasn’t sure I would be welcome, considering what happened last year.”

“Well, you were a bit of a prick, I’ll give you that,” Jean told him bluntly before her face softened into a smile. “But then again, so were we.”

“It was rude of us to interrupt you,” Nigel agreed. “The least we could have done was let you finish your poem before we started asking questions.”

Thomas blinked at them in confusion. “Why are you being so … nice about this? I … I called you names!”

Nigel exchanged an amused look with Jean before he shrugged and said, “To be honest I still have no idea what a wazzock even is.”

“And you know, it’s never too late to apologise for one’s behaviour,” Jean added gently. Almost stricken, Thomas looked up at her. She gave him an encouraging nod. “Go on.”

Taking a deep breath, Thomas met Nigel’s eyes. “I truly am sorry.”

He sounded so sincere that Nigel couldn’t help but smile. “It’s okay. I’m not one to hold grudges anyway.”

He glanced over at Mick who stopped mid-sentence to stick his tongue out to him and then continued talking to John as if nothing had happened. Nigel grinned, glad they’d reached a point where they could gently joke about Mick’s role in their deaths now, and turned back to Thomas. Feeling a little brave, he gently nudged his shoulder and quietly asked, “Do you want to talk about today? About Alison leaving?”

Thomas stared at him, wide-eyed and looking terribly young, and for a moment Nigel could just imagine him as a little boy: all gangly limbs and with a heart that would always be too big for his chest.

“I’d rather not,” Thomas said softly and averted his eyes. His voice was thick with grief as he hugged his legs more tightly and added, “I just … don’t want to think about it for a little while.”

“That’s all right,” Nigel said easily. “What would you like to talk about instead?”

He expected Thomas to launch into a lecture about the finer points of poetry, or perhaps even a poem to keep his mind occupied and distracted. Instead, Thomas turned those expressive eyes onto him and asked, “Would you tell me about yourself? We’ve been living – well, ghosting – in this house together for nearly two centuries and I know little but your name about you.”

Oh, Nigel thought. Panicking, he looked to Jean for help. He wanted to say he was surprised to find her trying not to laugh at his predicament but he wasn’t. Giving her one of his most vicious glares which seemed to only make her press her hand to her mouth harder to keep from laughing, he turned back to Thomas and stammered, “Well, there’s not really much to know. I lived a rather boring life, I’m afraid.”

“I refuse to believe that,” Thomas said with such intensity that Nigel felt himself melt under his gaze. “Simple, perhaps, but not boring. Not with this lot around.”

He nodded to the other villagers and Nigel huffed out a laugh because Thomas had a point. His life, simply as it might have been, had certainly not been uneventful. So he started at the beginning. “The bluebells were in bloom when I was born. I was my parents’ second child. My sister Susanna was born two years before me, and my brother Henry three years after me. I loved them both very dearly but Henry was always sickly and …”

Just like that, he found himself talking about people he hadn’t thought about in decades and sharing memories he usually shied away from and preferred to forget. Nigel did not know why he was telling Thomas all those painful, private things. Perhaps it was because of the way Thomas was looking at him, silent but attentive – as if in that moment, Nigel had become the centre of his universe. Or perhaps it had just been too long since he’d talked about his family and their ghosts were tired of being forgotten. Whatever it was, not only Thomas and Jean were listening to him intently – the others were as well. No one interrupted him as he talked about his short life, and when he was done, Thomas gave him a soft, grateful smile that made him duck his head and said, “See? Not boring at all.”

One by one, each of them began to tell their tale. They didn’t even notice the hours passing until Lady Button’s scream echoed through the house, heralding a new dawn. Looking at the tired but content faces of the people he had known all his life and death as they settled down to sleep, Nigel smiled. They might have their differences but at the end of the day, there was no one he would rather be stuck with in the afterlife than them.

His gaze wandered to Thomas. He had fallen asleep on his shoulder, a warm, solid presence against his side, and his face looked more peaceful than Nigel had ever seen it. He felt his smile soften and suddenly, desperately found himself wishing that this were not a one-time thing – that he could be someone Thomas would seek out in moments like this; someone Thomas might even come to love one day, like Alison or Lady Isabelle. He was so tired of being alone.

“Don’t lose heart,” Jean said quietly. It was something his mother had once told him as well, back when Nigel had confessed to her that it wasn’t pretty girls like Jean who made his heart beat faster. There had been sadness in his mother’s eyes, then, but understanding and acceptance too, and he saw the same in Jean’s now when their eyes met in the dark. She did not make him any promises, did not tell him that Thomas would madly fall in love him, but she did tell him that he was not alone and that there was always hope.

And hope, Nigel thought as he allowed himself to lean his head against Thomas’s and close his eyes, was all he could ask for.

#thomas thorne #nigel the plague ghost #jean the plague ghost #norne #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts fanfic #my fic

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