#get my baby some therapy now!

[fooltofancy]

is it so strange that they can't imagine a world without you in it?

[floral-hex]

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

[hauntingblue]

Inept 8 year old boy dragon tries to save floating island is such a concept

[cherrydott]

Not wealthy enough for the Mid Life Crisis and also life is unpredictable so I will be having an ongoing crisis

[homunculus-argument]

The thing about general life weirdness is that it's accumulative. If you open the door and allow one (1) unusual thing into your life, that significantly improves the odds of other weird things happening. Just one mildly odd thing is just one mildly odd thing, but they lead the way for things that can be a perfectly logical consequence of the first thing, that would never, ever happen to someone who hadn't invited the first odd thing into their life.

Like let's say you decided to get an iguana. That's not the most common kind of pet, but not unheard of. Perhaps you thought you wanted a cat, but then decided to see what other animals your local animal rescue has available, and holy shit they've got an iguana. So now you've got an iguana.

And being a responsible pet owner - which, again, is a normal thing to do - you make sure you take good care of your new baby. And being a rescue, your iguana might have some issues that they've got from being poorly handled by the previous owner. So you see what you can do about it, and find out a vet who is specialised enough to do physical therapy on an iguana. And naturally, you call them right up and get your iguana cared for. And being such a specialised professional, naturally this vet makes sure to keep their work and personal life neatly separated.

All of these are perfectly logical steps into an unusual direction, but they are also the way you may find yourself saying something like "my iguana's therapist blocked me on grindr."

[berrymeter]

what happened to us for us to become such a reasonable individual where is the hater (he is making angry posts about dragon age lore)

[bucks-babe]

Be Mean To Me

Pairing: Bucky x f!reader

Summary: After a long day at work, you just want to lose all control and have your boyfriend fuck you into oblivion 

Warnings: Established relationship, slight angst, fluff, smut, mean!dom!bucky, reader asks for it, they are so in love, rough sex, dom/sub dynamics, oral (male receiving), ball sucking, slapping, spit kink?, degradation, humiliation, name calling (slut, whore, bitch, sugar, good girl), daddy kink, some praise, spanking, pussy slapping (like once), safe word (yellow), vaginal sex, no prep anal, Bucky has a huge dick, choking, aftercare, check-ins, crying during sex, crying after sex, soft!Bucky, no mention of Y/N, no description of reader other than being female

Word Count: 4.9k of mostly smut

A/N: This was very self indulgent. Work has been kicking my ass and I want to be taken care of. Any mistakes are my own. If I missed any warnings please let me know. @bucknastysbabe it's done! I think I should go back to therapy. But hey, smut

You feel your throat tighten as you walk up to the apartment you share with Bucky. It was one of those days that left you beaten down and wanting to curl up under your blankets and cry. You didn’t even want to go into work this morning, having to force yourself to get ready. Too many rude customers, incompetent coworkers giving you more work than you get paid to do, everything leaving you overstimulated and wanting your boyfriend.

It left a craving deep down inside of you, a want that you knew only he could quell. You just wanted to shut your brain off, have Bucky take care of you, ruin you, treat you like a whore, break you down, just to put you back together again.

You swallow the lump in your throat and unlock the front door, finding Bucky on the couch watching some random action movie that he claimed to hate. At the sight of him your body naturally relaxes and the urge to crawl onto his lap is too much to bear.

“Hey, sugar. I’ve been missing you all day. You’ll never fucking believe the video Sam sent me of Tony trying out his new thrusters! He flew rig- What’s wrong?” He perked up at the sound of the door opening, truly missing his girl. Whenever you’re around him his entire day gets better, a lightness filling his chest, but when he sees how run down you are, his heart literally hurts for you. Bucky wants to protect you from everything, from supervillains all the way to spiders in the house.

“Long day, baby. Just wanna be with you.” He opens his arms and you instantly crawl into his lap, eyes burning with tears you refuse to shed. He runs his metal hand up and down your back, pulling you as close to him as possible, while his flesh hand rests on your head, holding you to his neck, letting you breathe him in.

“What can I do for you, sugar? Want to talk about it? I can order from your favorite place. Can run you a bath. Whatever you want, sweet girl.” 

“Please, be mean to me, Bucky.” Bucky feels his heart clench in his chest. He wants to keep your heart safe from whatever it is that is plaguing you, but he knows he can’t. What he can do is follow your request and make you forget.

“How mean do you want me, sugar?” Bucky has done this for you a few times. He always asks how you want him to treat you. It’s in his nature to be sweet to you, fill you with praise, but that's not what you want right now. You want to be degraded and treated like a fucktoy.

“Mean.” You keep your eyes trained on him. This is the only part where you need to keep your head on, make sure that he knows you want this.

“Remember your colors, sugar?” You nob, excitement bubbling up inside of you. “Remember, daddy will only be upset with you if you don’t use them. If you need to say yellow or red, you will.” His tone is final. This is the only way he would ever agree to treating you like a slut.

“Yes, daddy.” And just like that, Bucky’s entire demeanor changes. He goes from your sweet, cuddly boyfriend to a cold and callous body of muscle. 

“Then take your clothes off, slut.” He pushes you off his lap, just hard enough to give the illusion of indifference. As you strip, Bucky keeps his eyes trained on the TV, not paying you any mind. Your core throbs at the fact that you are completely exposed while he is still fully dressed. 

“On your knees.” He’s still not looking at you, but you obey without thought, willing to do whatever he wants. Grabbing the back of your neck, he forces you in between his spread legs, and you whine at the fact that his cock is still soft inside his sweats. Any other day, Bucky would make sure that your knees were never on the hardwood floor without a pillow or something soft underneath, but not today.

On days like these, when you want to feel completely submissive, it takes Bucky a while to get aroused. It’s in his nature to love up on you, make you drunk with pleasure in the sweetest way possible. He feeds off of your energy. When he is sure that you are having fun, his body lets himself fall into his role.

“What? You think at the first signs of some tits I’m gonna get hard? I knew you were a dumb slut but I didn’t realize just how thick you were.” Your pussy was absolutely pulsing with need. With his hand still on the back of your neck, he rubs your face against his crotch, feeling his cock begin to harden at the smell of your arousal.

He pulls you back far enough to slide his pants down, foregoing boxers, and you immediately try to take his half hard length in your mouth. Before you can process it, Bucky’s right hand lands a slap to your cheek - hard enough to make a welt that will take a few hours to disappear. You gasp and your cunt pulses even harder than before at the sting left on your cheek. 

His metal hand wraps around your chin, much cooler than it’s supposed to be, and forces you to look him in the eye. In the back of your mind you realize that he turned on the cooling function in his arm to sooth your cheek; the arm was built to keep him cool in the Wakandan sun and heat. “Did daddy say you could suck his cock?” He uses his hand to shake your head from side to side, answering for you. “Then keep your slutty mouth shut.”

He spreads his legs wider and pulls your face closer to his heavy sack, already full of cum. “Hands behind your back, and suck on daddy’s balls.” You join your hands together behind your back without question and nuzzle his balls. Wasting no time, you take one into your mouth, sucking feverishly, enjoying the light dusting of hair tickling your face.

“Oh, fuck, come on, slut, I know you can do better than that. Take ‘em both in your dirty mouth.” He pushes you further into him, cutting off your oxygen, and you swear you hear your slick drip onto the floor. Your jaw aches as you try to get them both in your mouth, but you can't; his balls are too big. Bucky ruts against your face, squishing his balls, precum leaking from his tip, dripping onto his stomach after he takes his shirt off.

With your limited amount of movement, you alternate between each ball, licking at the seam. Every time you switch balls, you feel the other drag wetly across your face and you have to clench your legs in an attempt to quell the ache between them while fighting with your need for air. “Such a dirty bitch, lapping at your daddy’s nuts, shit.” He pulls you back just as your head starts to go fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, and you gasp for air, spit is covering the lower half of your face and is dripping down your neck and chest; Bucky feels his cock throb at the sight.

Reaching out, Bucky smears your spit around your face and leaves another, weaker smack to your cheek before he grabs his cock and uses his weeping tip to tease you, dragging it on your face. “What a nasty fucking bitch, drooling all over the place just from sucking some balls.” He slaps your cheeks with it a few times before forcing your head down all the way, making you gag and you immediately pull off, coughing.

He stares into your eyes, cold and calculating, waiting for you to speak. When your coughing subsides you manage to get out a hoarse ‘green,’ giving him the all clear. He takes your head and once again makes you take his cock, this time much slower and not as deep, the first time he wanted to fuck with you. “Such a perfect fucking mouth, shit.” He stops you from bobbing your head, “Stop being such a desperate whore and let daddy finish his movie.” You're sure you’re leaking onto the floor at this point.

You are able to see his face and he looks wrecked, mouth hanging open and head back; he’s not watching shit. Nonetheless, you rest your head on his thigh, getting comfortable, spreading your legs out to get closer to the floor so your head won't be bent at an awkward angle, ignoring the pain in your knees and the ache in your jaw. 

The only sounds filling the room are Bucky’s ragged breathing and the movie playing in the background. There is saliva everywhere, his cock, all over his balls, down to his ass and on the couch. His cock is constantly leaking precum into your mouth but you don’t swallow, letting his taste linger on your tongue. 

This isn’t what you wanted, you wanted him to demolish you. Sitting with his cock in your mouth is giving you too much time to think, so you do what any sane person would do - be a brat. At the first suckle, Bucky lets out a broken moan, at the second, he knows what you’re up to. Flicking your ear with his metal hand he hisses, “Don’t make me punish you, bitch.” At the third, he yanks you off of his dick, a trail of drool and precum keeping the two of you connected, as slaps you once again with his flesh hand, this time not soothing the marred flesh with his metal hand.

He stands and kicks the couch out of the way and pulls you with him by the neck. “You disobedient little-” he cuts himself short at the small puddle of slick that he finds from your previous position. “Is that what I think it is?” You only whine in response, his grip on your neck never faltering. 

With his free hand, he reaches down to your pussy to feel just how wet you are, confirming his suspicions. “What a dirty fucking slut, leaking all over my floor.” He pulls you in closer to him just to whisper, “Lick it the fuck up, bitch,” before pushing you to the ground. 

Your knees hit the wood hard and pain runs up your spine. You ignore the ache and brainlessly lap at your juices on the floor before Bucky smushes your cheek against the puddle and you moan. “Messy bitch, you are? Cunt is pulsing, waiting for my dick. Too bad I have to punish you, isn’t it, slut?” He leans down to the floor, eyes lined up with yours. “Daddy is going to give you ten spanks and I want you to count them.” You don’t respond immediately, stuck in a sort of limbo, drawn in further at the softness in his eyes.

No matter how hard he tries, Bucky can’t hide his devotion to you, that’s why he doesn’t let you look at him when he needs to play this role. His whole face softens at your silence, fearing he’s gone too far. “Color, sugar.” Stroking your cheek, he leans in closer, breathing you in.

“Green, daddy, so green.” The sigh Bucky lets out is audible and he feels ten times lighter.

“Good girl, you want to keep going the way we were?” Even though you said green, he wants to be certain.

“Yes please, daddy, want you to be mean.” You look so small and soft. Bucky struggles to put his facade back up, but he knows you need this.

Bucky positions himself behind you, staring at your ass and glistening pussy, and feels his cock bounce. The first slap isn’t soft by any means, you know there will be a handprint left. Your body jolts and Bucky groans at the jiggle of your ass. “One.” The second is on your other cheek and makes you clench around nothing. “Two.” He lands the next two much harder on the same cheek and you feel tears form in your eyes, yet continue to count, digging your nails into your palm.

He repeats the two spanks to your left cheek and takes a break to sooth your heated and raised skin with his metal hand after you’ve counted. The ground beneath your cheek is hard and unforgiving, leaving you neck bent at an odd angle. Spank seven lands on the back of your right thigh and somehow feels much stronger. “Shit! Seven, daddy.” Eight is on your left, and is just as hard. Your entire lower body aches: cunt pulsing and throbbing for his cock, thighs burning, and ass red and raw, sobbing with every impact.

“These last two are going to be harder, slut, since you forgot to count.” Even with his warning, you aren’t prepared. They are hard and fast, hearing them before you feel them, knocking the breath out of you, and you try to scramble up, but Bucky holds you down. “Don’t run away from me, you know better.” All of a sudden, the sharpest and most excruciating pain blooms from your cunt, and then you hear the wet smack of his metal hand hitting your core. 

You wail, body shooting up, legs fighting to close to soothe the sting left. Before you can, Bucky’s hand on the back of your head keeps you to the ground, while he slams his cock into your cunt, not stopping to let you adjust. “That’s it, fuck. Such a good pussy. Dirty fucking bitch.” You can’t breathe, his cock is knocking all of the air out of your lungs. The only sounds in the room are Bucky’s moans and the wet slapping of skin, his heavy balls banging against your sore clit. With each thrust you’re sure he’s hitting your cervix.

The hand on the back of your head leaves to grab your hip, letting him fuck you even faster, the both of you sliding further and further on the floor. You try to brace yourself with your hands, but the brutality of his fucking is no match. “Daddy, fuck, s-so g-good, please!” You don’t know what you’re begging for, but your cunt is pulling him in, barely letting him pull out.

Bucky is practically chasing you on the floor, hips never slowing down, eyes trained on your pussy, loving the creamy white mess on his dick. “Fuuuck, look at the ass bouncing on daddy’s cock, shit! Love the way this fat fucking ass looks when its all red and sore.” He’s in heaven, with the tight clench of your cunt wrapping around his cock, making him feel crazy.

“Daddy! I can’t, f-fuck, please, too much!” You’re fucking delirious with pleasure, feeling something twisting inside of you. You searched for something to hold on to, only finding smooth surface, legs locking, body seizing up.

“You can and you will take this dick, bitch. I don’t care if it makes you fucking bleed.” The pressure in your core builds tighter and tighter, all the while, Bucky’s hips never falter, sack still ramming against your clit.The breath is knocked out of you when you feel the most intense orgasm of your life pass through you.

Keening and wailing, you squirt on Bucky’s cock, the sounds of your fucking somehow getting even more wet until the force of your orgasm pushes his cock out. Your body is left twitching. There is a much larger puddle on the floor now - your cum. Bucky could fucking cum at the sight of your pathetic body laying on the ground, body wrought with pleasure. “Fuck, sugar! That was so fucking hot! You squirted all over, shit! I fucking love you so goddamn much.” 

The entire lower half of his body is covered with your cum and Bucky swears he can feel his heartbeat in his cock. Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around your waist and hulls you over to where he kicked the couch, placing your upper half on the cushions. “You’re so fucking wet now I bet I could slide right into that tight ass, what do you think, slut?” Your core pulses at the thought of his fat cock in your ass, the two of you don’t usually do anal, given how big he is, but you can’t think straight, especially after cumming so hard.

“Yes, daddy. I want your big cock in my ass, want you to fill me up.” Bucky groans at the thought of his excessive load running out of your ass. Leaning back, he ruts against your pussy, gathering more of your slick, before spreading your cheeks with his hands, staring at your puckered hole. He lines his cock up and watches as precum leaks from his tip.

His cock is huge, much longer and thicker than average, and he knows it. Grabbing himself near his tip, he pushes, grunting at the resistance, knowing that this would be much easier if he takes the time to prep you, but you want to be treated like a whore. “You gotta loosen the fuck up, bitch or else I’ll really fucking hurt you. Want this fucking ass so bad, better let daddy in. Cock is too big for this little ass, isn’t it, gonna split you in half, leave you leaking for days.” 

He pushes harder, tip finally popping in, causing searing pain to shoot through you. Crying out, you try to pull forward to escape the burning pain, wiggling further into the couch. Bucky leans over, careful not to push in any further, he knows you need a moment, any other time you would have been fully prepped and he would have slid right in, and wraps his metal hand around your neck, shushing you, “Shhhh, stop being so dramatic.” 

After a few minutes, the pain begins to subside and your breathing calms down. Keeping his hand around your throat, he pushes in, inch by inch, and the pain comes back. You whine into the cushion, every new inch burning more than the last until his hips are flush with your ass. “What the fuck?! Your ass is so fu-fucking tight, shit! Fucking milking my cock, wanna pound this little hole, wanna fucking ruin you.”

Burying his face in the back of your neck, Bucky was taking deep breaths, completely out of it. He wasn’t thinking straight, not when your tight hole was hugging every inch of his cock. You on the other hand, were struggling, it was too much too fast. It fucking hurt, there were tears in your eyes, but your pussy was aching like it wanted more. Your clit throbbed with need, even when your ass was stretched to the brim.

You didn’t want to stop, but you needed a break, before Bucky could move his hips you muttered, “Yellow, daddy, yellow.” The hand on your neck left and Bucky maneuvered his upper body so that he could look you in the eye without moving his cock. His entire demeanor was different, back was your sweet, caring boyfriend. 

“Good girl, daddy’s so proud of you for using your safe word. Shhh, it’s okay, sugar. Do you just need a second to breathe? Take your time, if you need to stop I will.” Bucky caresses your face as he soothes you, bringing you back down. His cock is still buried to the hilt in your ass, driving him insane. He wants to rail you so fucking bad, tip of his cock probably purple by now, but he would never do anything you didn’t want to, more than willing to sit with his cock inside of you until you’re ready or decide to stop.

You don’t know how much time passes, but eventually, you loosen up and your mind goes fuzzy once again, desperate for him to move. You wiggle your hips, rocking back and forth, instead of pain, blinding pleasure courses through you. “Green, daddy. I’m ready, just needed to get used to your fat cock, want you to pound into me.” Bucky lets out the most sinful groan and stills your hips with his hands.

He starts out slow, easing you into his motions, gradually gaining speed and force the louder your moans get. “Daddy, faster, please, harder, feels so good!” You were practically sobbing, loving the way he was splitting you open. His hips and thighs were wet from when you squirted on him, slapping against your ass, everytime he pulled back a vulgar shlick sound could be heard.

He fucked you faster and harder, staring at where you were connected. “This fucking ass feels incredible. Taking me so well, knew you could do it, fuck. Splitting your tiny ass in half. Oh God!” He could feel his orgasm building up, fighting it off everytime his cum filled sack slapped against your pussy. Letting go of your hips he snarled, “Show daddy how much of a fucking slut you are and bounce that fat ass on his cock.”

You whined, but complied anyway, digging your toes into the floor to get more leverage to keep slamming back on his cock. The sounds of skin slapping and both of your moans completely drowned out the ending of Bucky’s movie, not that either of you cared. Panting and moaning, you kept working yourself on him, feeling another orgasm bubbling up.

Meeting your thrusts, Bucky was rambling, not having one coherent thought in his head, “Look at that, give me that ass, yes! Don’t you dare fucking stop, bitch, want you to milk this cock. Love the way it fucking bounces, never seen anything like it, oh fuck!” He was getting whiny, high pitched moans falling from his lips. He couldn’t help it, his cock was too fucking sensitive and you felt too good. 

“M Gonna cum, daddy! Can I cum?” Bucky practically growls, getting up to his feet to squat, not missing a beat while still trusting in you. Every time his pelvis met your ass he whined and whimpered, loving the way it jiggled. He could feel you clenching around him, drawing his own orgasm closer.

“Not until I do. Fucking hold it, bitch.” It seemed impossible, but Bucky fucked you even faster, his hips moving at a ferocious speed. He wanted to cum so fucking bad and your high pitched moans were about to make him bust. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I’m gonna fucking nut. You want daddy to fill your ass up, huh? God! Fuck, I’m splitting you in two. Uhhh. Balls are so heavy, so much cum. Fuuuuuuck. Daddy’s gonna fill you up, have you leaking.”

His hand wraps around your throat and chokes you, hips still smashing against yours, your orgasm barely being held in. You try to talk, get him to let you cum, but no words come out. Bucky felt his orgasm approach, balls pulling up, “Shiiit, daddy’s gonna cum, gonna flood your ass, you ready, cum with your daddy. Right. Fucking. Now.” Bucky cums with a long, drawn out moan. The feeling of his endless load pouring into your ass sends you over the edge and you cum so hard your vision goes black for a second. Waves upon waves of pleasure coursing through you. Bucky’s hips jerk involuntarily, prolonging both of your orgasms. 

As you both catch your breaths, you feel Bucky begin to soften inside of you, still plugging your hole, stopping his cum from leaking back out. “You were so good for me, sugar. I’m so proud of you.” At those words you feel your bottom lip begin to tremble. Burying your face into the cushions, a sob escapes your throat, all of your emotions finally bubbling over.

Running his hands up and down your back, Bucky soothes you. This was always his least favorite part, seeing you cry. He knows that you’re crying isn’t because of him, but there is always a twinge of fear that shoots through his body, scared that he went too far with you. Bucky pulls out as gently as he can, hissing when the air touches his spent dick, and moves to rest his back against the couch, pulling you into his lap.

Neither of you care that his cum is leaking all over. Bucky will clean the room later, after he takes care of his sweet girl. You cling to him as you sob into his neck, his hands massage your sore cheeks as he whispers in your ear, “Such a good girl for me, you made me feel so fucking good. Can’t even begin to explain how good you felt. There you go, let it out. I’m right here.”

Carefully, he picks you up and carries you to the bathroom. When he tries to set you down you just cling on harder to him, not wanting to leave his embrace. “I gotta draw us a bath, sugar. You know you have to pee, I’ll be right here when you’re done.” You hesitantly let him go while he draws the bath, putting in your favorite oils. After you pee and wipe, he helps you up so you can wash your hands before sitting you both in the tub.

Bucky sits against the wall of the tub and you curl further into his lap, not wanting any space in between you. Somehow you still aren’t close enough to him, wanting to be surrounded completely by him. Tears are still leaking down your face and even with Bucky’s consuming presence, you can’t seem to pull yourself up to the surface. Bucky’s arms are wrapped around you, making sure that you are as close as possible without him being inside of you.

“Sweets, can you look at me? Want to see those pretty eyes.” You can hear the concern in Bucky’s voice, but you can’t bring yourself to move away. He’s your safe space and you just want to bask in his warmth. “Sweets, please. Can you tell me how you feel? I need to know you’re okay.” You don’t know why that set you off, but all of a sudden more tears escape you, sobs fighting to make their way out.

Bucky’s entire world stops, fear shoots up his spine. He doesn’t know if he could live with himself if he hurt you, if he did something that you didn’t want. He knows that you asked him to treat you like a whore, but what if you didn’t want him to go as far as he did? You used your safe word when it got to be too much, but what if you really wanted to say red, not yellow, but wanted to please him, or felt like you had to please him. “Sweetheart, did I hurt you? Did I go too far? Please talk to me.”

Even though you didn’t want to talk, you could hear that he was about to cry. “I’m okay. Just love you so much.” You could feel Bucky relax under you.

“You sure, sweets? I’ve never seen you like this before.” While some of his fears subsided, Bucky was still worried about you.

Picking your head up so you could look him in the eye, you saw just how scared Bucky truly was. “I promise, Buck, I loved every second of it. You made me feel so good and cared for. No one has ever made me feel the way you do.” Bucky closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. At that moment, Bucky understood why aftercare was so important. Of course he knew you needed to be taken care of so that you knew how much he loved you, but hearing those words come out of your mouth made him feel loved in a way he didn’t know was possible. 

Before the water gets cold you’ve stopped crying, making Bucky feel much better and he washes the sweat and spit off of your face and body, being extra careful with your sensitive pussy and ass. All the while whispering sweet nothings into your ear while you take turns kissing each other all over.

Bucky feels ten times lighter when he gets a giggle out of you. He knows that there will be days when you need him to treat you like a slut, but you know how much he loves and respects you. He lays you on the bed before grabbing your favorite lotion to put on, being extra careful when it comes to your sore ass, placing kisses in each spot after he's rubbed in the lotion.

 The marks on your face are gone by now, but Bucky still fusses over your skin care routine, knowing you don’t have the energy to complete it. After taking care of you, he climbs into bed and covers the both of you up, still naked but you don’t care. Bucky reaches into the bedside drawer and grabs some chocolate while you feed it to each other. Neither of you say much, but nothing needs said. 

You place kisses on his chest and arms, anywhere that you can reach, trying to let him know how much you appreciate him - Bucky knows. You fall asleep first, not being able to keep your eyes open any longer, Bucky moves you to his chest, cocooning you into him before he falls asleep, your head tucked carefully under his chin, legs tangled together, completely protected by him.

[cptnbeefheart]

need to complain for a sec hehe

really upsetting when i come into work feeling refreshed because i was finally able to unwind for the first night after a week of working. I feel prepared to have a good day and check off all the remaining things on my weekly to-do list for the first time in a whole week ! but after sitting down and looking around at all of the incomplete work on my desk, or having coworkers come up to me and ask for updates on projects i was supposed to have finished for them a week ago, or having my boss remind me of what not to do.. i just feel guilty for not having done my best that week. its really stupid because i guess it all comes from assessing my self worth based on the work im getting done.  and how i should just be grateful that i have a job where i can sit down all day. which is all an objectively stupid mentality, probably conjured by capitalists to guilt me into overworking and undervaluing myself. but its soul crushing! i understand that billions of people are working jobs that they could not care less about, and that i’ll be doing this for the rest of my life. it just really upsets me. when im on the clock im thinking about all the art i want to be creating, all the video games i could be playing, all the shows i could be watching etc.. I find it difficult to have energy for my interests when i AM off the clock. i dont have a physical labor job, im looking at a computer screen all day. so why do i feel so exhausted when i come home from work? so much that i cant do any of my interests (which usually help me unwind and feel better !!) !!!!!!

[luulapants]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

have to go into school tomorrow :(

[devilishdelights]

those mystic messenger bitches had you UP

[harunayuuka2060]

MC: Okay, guys. I actually love here!

Ace: *has been finally able to connect to them* The fuck you're talking about? Grim needs you!

MC: Nah. Fr bro. I've got myself a baby goat. *moves the phone at Rollo*

Rollo: ...

Rollo: I'm not the goat they're referring to, but this. *showing the baby goat to the camera*

The baby goat: MEEEEHHH!

MC: *moves the phone back to them* Guys here are so mentally healthy.

MC: Except Rollo.

Rollo: *in the background* Excuse me?

Ace: Ohh... Okay, okay. I think I get it.

Ace: So you need to fix him?

MC: Yeah... I think? I mean, the Bell of Solace can't talk so I don't really know what she wants from me.

MC: Either therapy or marriage, right?

Rollo: What?

Ace: Bruh? What's with your obsession of emo boys?

MC: BWAHAHAHA!

Rollo: You should end that call now.

MC: We still have a few minutes before the class starts?

Rollo: The student council starts working before the classes even start. You should know that by now.

MC: I'm not part of the student council. The heck-

Rollo: You are now. *grabs the phone and hangs up*

Ace: ...

Epel: So...?

Ace: Yeah. We need to go there.

Deuce: How can they be convinced to stay there when it hasn't been a week?

Ace: They got tired being our therapist.

The secretary: You'll be doing my job from now on! Good luck! <3

MC: Ayo- Why?

The vice president: President Rollo wants you to learn the student council's tasks immediately.

MC: ...

MC: *looking at Rollo* Really?

Rollo: Yes.

MC: ...

MC: Or you just want to have an alone time?

The vice and the secretary: Pft-

Rollo: *frowns*

Rollo: You're disappointing me with your behavior.

MC: Your depression is a shame. Speak for yourself.

The vice president: Now, now. Fighting isn't good.

The secretary: That's right! Besides, you two always get along!

Rollo: *scoffs* Start working.

MC: Tch. Fine.

Lilia: I'm glad you're not mad that MC is studying in Noble Bell College.

Malleus: Why would I be? When they are sending me updates.

Lilia: Wait. Really?

Malleus: Yes. *shows him their recent chat*

MC: Find some free time so we can troll Rollo. :D

Lilia: ...

Lilia: *laughs*

[landitolover]

𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓, in which, if charles didn’t care for you, maybe a specific red bull driver he doesn’t really like, will.. part one here! ౨ৎ max verstappen x famous!reader

INSTAGRAM DMS

maxverstappen1 replied to your story

maxverstappen1

hey, i’m sorry about the break up

charles never deserved you though

yourusername

haha it’s okay

he didn’t do anything wrong though 😊

it was a mutual break up

maxverstappen1

ohhh, alright

that’s nice to know 😃

TWITTER

IMESSAGE , MAX & LANDO January 4th, 2024

max

Lando

lando

Max 🤔

Rare text, what do you need mate?

max

by any chance do you have yns number

lando

oh my god do you

finally have the balls to (attempt) to pull her

max

i’ve always had the balls :/

charles just beat me to it

lando

he was quite charming

max

he’s a cheater, he isn’t very charming

lando

thats why i said ‘was’

max

ok but do u have her number

lando

duh? we’re like this🤞🏼

it’s xxx-xxx-xxx

max

okk thank you very much

lando

of course mate

goodluck you’ll need it

also u will be talked (possibly made fun of)

about in the gc. so be careful..

max

uhm ok mate

bye….. 😃

INSTAGRAM

yourprivate

Liked by alex_albon, lilymhe, landonorris, and 122 others

yourprivate new year, new me 💆‍♀️

fuck🖕🏼men 🤮

January 14th, 2024

View all 14 comments

alex_albon yk damn well ur the biggest lover girl

→ yourprivate uhmm wdym? i’m not

landonorris i know something u dont 🤫

lilymhe its okay baby 😔

→ yourprivate 😔😔💖💖 ily

georgerussell63 wake up

→ yourprivate get out my private bitch 🤮

→ georgerussell63 cunt

→ yourprivate something u never serve..

danielricciardo wow this post ate 🎀

danielricciardo it would eat even more if u reactivated the main

→ yourprivate i’ll be back in like 9 months

→ landonorris HOLY SHIT ARE U PREGNANT

→ yourprivate NO??? WHAT??? WHY WOULD U THINK THAT???

→ landonorris coz u said 9 months and thats like how long it takes to give birth Idk

→ yourprivate u are so slow gn

IMESSAGE , MAX & YOU January 14th, 2024

xxx-xxx-xx

are you a rose?

cause i think you’re a catch 😉

yn

oh my god 😂 that was such a sucky

pick up line.. who is this? 😭

xxx-xxx-xxx

your future boyfriend, hopefully

yn

how’d u get my number though

i rlly hope you aren’t a stalker 😭

or i’m gonna contact the police

xxx-xxx-xxx

WAIT NO 😭

it’s max

i’m sorry lol

yn

oh my god 😭

i didn’t see u as the corny pick up line type

you changed this contact to ‘max’

max

what can i say?

also sorry for freaking you out

i asked lando for your number, i hope you don’t mind

yn

nah its fine 😭

max

are you okay though?

you deactivated, saw it all over twitter

yn

yeah no, i’m ok

well not rlly but I don’t wanna like .. talk about it

max

that’s totally fine

but if you ever need someone to talk to

i’m always free

and i have cats so.. free therapy

yn

thats how u get the girl !

max

charlie should have taken some notes

unsent message

haha i guess i know how to get you now ?

yn

you’re a flirt aren’t you

max

only for you

yn

😭😭

i’ll be back in a minute someone messaged me

max

alright

IMESSAGE , CHARLES & YOU January 14th, 2024

don’t respond

hi angel, can i come over?

i miss your kisses, cherie

can’t we get back together

yn

no we can’t

charles stop it. i don’t want you

you’re the one who cheated on me

if you were going to miss my kisses so bad, why’d you cheat?

don’t respond

it’s a new year though, new us.

yn

no charles

you need to get over it

i mean, i did

don’t respond

get over it? you deactivated on everything

that isn’t getting over it. you’re avoiding your problems

yn

yeah I’m avoiding you, you’re my biggest one

get a new girlfriend

it obviously isn’t that hard for you..

Delivered

INSTAGRAM

yourprivate

Liked by landonorris, alex_albon, lilymhe, and 102 others

yourprivate men suck….. (i think he’s cute)

January 17th, 2024

View all comments

lilymhe u better not be talking about ch*rles

→ yourprivate no

landonorris is it ***

→ yourprivate 🤔🤔🤔???

alex_albon i thought u weren’t a lover girl

→ yourprivate i’m not

→ alex_albon caption says otherwise

georgerussell63 yw for the cake

→ yourprivate thanks georgie 😊

INSTAGRAM

charles_leclerc

Liked by carlossainz55, pierrepasly, arthur_leclerc, and 1,309,192 others

charles_leclerc overrated

January 23rd, 2024

View all 1,099 comments

user ohh ik yn is laughing at his silly ass

user he’s going dark 🖤⛓️

user he wanna be aesthetic so fuckin bad

user this is not it ‼️ archive this post ‼️

user yeah, ur overrated

→ user we luv a self aware king

user not everyone dragging him in the comments 😭

→ user cause we all love yn 💆‍♀️

lewishamilton be so fr you have no sense of fashion, m8 😂

carlossainz55 🖤

landonorris yeah this post is not ittttt

alex_albon alright mate….

danielricciardo who did not cheer! 😂😭

pierregasly 🔥

TWITTER

TWITTER

IMESSAGE, MAX & YOU February 14th, 2024

max <3

hey :)

happy valentines 🤍

yn

hii maxie

happy valentines! 💌

max <3

i bought you a little something

since you love snoopy

and me 😉

yn

you got one thing right

max <3

wowww

nevermind then

yn

kidding 🙄🙄

max <3

i’m picking you up

is an hour enough time

yn

yess

see you sooon 😊🤍

max <3

🤍

IMESSAGE, “YN FANCLUB 😊” February 15th, 2024

landoooo

how much r we betting that he did it

alexito

£100 he didn’t

lil 🎀

£100 he did

landoooo

i’m team he did it

georgie

he aint do shit 😂🔥

i’m team he didn’t do it

lil 🎀

is alex holding u gunpoint ???

landoooo

facts

max isn’t a pussy he def said something at least

yn

hi guyyyyssss

what are you guys talking about

georgie

we’re betting on ur little bf

did he ask you out

lil 🎀

ok wow 😭 straight to the point

yn

he did 😊😊😊

lil 🎀

HOLY SHIT

HAHAHAA

ALEX, GEORGE,

landoooo

PAYYY UPPP!!!! 💰

alexito

GTFOOO

georgie

🔥🔥 my ass is not paying

yn

u better pay them

also £100 is crazy???

look at what he got me 🥹 and he’s such a cutie

lil 🎀

SNOOPY 😭 I WISSHH

so down bad

🥹🥹 the cutest

yn

i cried 😔 he’s adorable

alexito

u guys are so cute

i hope it lasts!!

landoooo

daniel asked if u bringing back the main

cause like ur happy now

yn

2025 my year

plus u guys are in my priv why does it matter

georgie

right lmfao 😭

congrats on the bf though 🥳

hopefully he doesn’t turn out like our

good ol’ friend charlie!!!!

alexito

mate sthu

respectfully

georgie

wow that makes it a whole lot better, thanks m8

lil 🎀

how about u both sthu

INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, redbullracing, and 1,220,218 others

maxverstappen1 and here’s to my baby :)

June 3rd, 2024

View all 1,101 comments

user didn’t expect a soft launch from max fuckin verstappen 😨

user HELLO???

user this girl has style.. dressing him up? 😍😍

→ user I noticed the style change, didn’t expect all this tho

user i just know shes hot

user stop soft launching i need to know who it is

danielricciardo lucky man

→ maxverstappen1 i am very lucky

landonorris cutie

→ maxverstappen1 😘

→ alex_albon it’s official: lando is the one getting soft launched

→ landonorris shhh people aren’t supposed to know

lilymhe she’s the loml

georgerussell63 🤮🤮🤮

→ maxverstappen1 get out - the girl

→ georgerussell63 🤓🤓☝️☝️

IMESSAGE, MAX & YOU June 13th, 2024

max <3

the sunset is in two hours

i’m picking you up

and we’re going to the beach to watch it

yn

😭😭 okay max

max

see you soon :))

yn

yeah, i love you 🤍

max <3

say that again in person

not over text 🙄

yn

okay max 😭😭

max <3

i love you though

INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1

Liked by lilymhe, landonorris, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 103,021 others

maxverstappen1 starry eyes sparking up my darkest nights.

June 13th, 2024

View all 1,001 comments

user AAUGGHH IM GOING CRAZY

user why are the captions so romantic… secret artist ? 😨

→ user lol she’s probably writing them for him

user charles gtfo 😭😭

user i love them (idk who she is)

landonorris 4 months tmr cutie 😍

→ maxverstappen1 i love you baby 🥰

→ user 4???? WHAATTT

alex_albon tell her to stop talkin abt u bro 🤦

→ maxverstappen1 no can do buckaroo

redbullracing our driver sure has some pretty good captions

lilymhe my gf 💖💖

IMESSAGE, CHARLES & YOU August 5th, 2024

don’t respond

you aren’t smart

yn

huh

don’t respond

you’re dating max?

is this just some petty thing ? cause i don’t like him?

yn

uhm no lmfao 😭

yeah i’m dating him though

don’t respond

is he better than me?

yn

yeah lol

100%

don’t respond

you know, he isn’t really the type to commit

yn

noted ? pretty sure he would’ve left by now

if that were the case lol

don’t respond

ok.

yn

lmfao.

You have blocked this person

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

🎶 let the light in : lana del rey (feat. father john misty)

Liked by landonorris, redbullracing, alex_albon, and 2,871,292 others

yourusername 🎀

October 1st, 2024

View all 3,202 comments

user OH MY GOD

user the man..

user i fell to my knees

user who is that

user my girl came back better than ever

user FINALLY ????

user she came back and started to soft launch a man gn

lilymhe wowwww 😍😍 i missed ur main acc posts

danielricciardo SERVED CUNT 💋

→ yourusername mwa 😚

danielricciardo i prayed for times like these

maxverstappen1 last slide kinda kinky

→ yourusername u wish, never horny on the main

→ user LMFAOO

landonorris ooooo let the light innnn

georgerussell63 odd post for ur first one back

→ yourusername sthu

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

Liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 1,200 others

yourusername redbull is my fav btw

October 8th, 2024

View all 2,292 comments

user her smile ☹️🤍

user THAT DRINK IS SO YUM

user my aesthetic queen 🐳

user mystery man u are lucky

user she’s so captivating

user UGHHH 😔😔☹️☹️

charles_leclerc drink company’s don’t suit u

→ maxverstappen1 lol

→ user LMFAOO

→ user embarrassing urself...

redbullracing 💙💙💙

→ yourusername 🩵

landonorris papaya better actually ☝️🤓

→ yourusername errmm 🤓

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, landonorris, lilymhe, and 3,110,210 others

yourusername i want to wear his initial on a chain ‘round my neck.

October 10th, 2024

View all 1,209 comments

user m.. suspicious

user is that not max’s new cat

user shes so cutesy

user IS THE CAPTION A LYRIC HELLOOO

user white men always win her over

landonorris mmmmmmmmmm 3️⃣🏆

→ yourusername sthu😭😭😭

→ user bro tryna give us easter eggs

lilymhe that bagel looks rlly fucking good

→ yourusername IT WAASSS

danielricciardo my bf guys

→ yourusername 😍 -m

redbullracing 🐐🐐🐐

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

Liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, landonorris, redbullracing and 3,101,119 others

yourusername new ep soon. 6 songs. ‘solo, tiwwchnt, ciwyw, dbm, sdg, and getaway car.” i hope u enjoy it.. out the 12th ! <3

November, 4th 2024

View all 5,110 comments

user i’m in a getaway car too queen

user “and here’s to my real friends” 2019 rookies & lily 🥲

→ yourusername my babies 4eva

user DONT BLAAAMEEE MEEE, LOVE MADE ME CRAZY 😩

user who cried and screamed listening to this album

user i brought a 🔪 to a 🔫 fight

user AHHHHHHHH

user thank u for yn’s not so mystery man but thank u for this ep ☝️☝️

landonorris used to being the GOAT

→ yourusername 🐐

danielricciardo getaway car on LOOP 🔂

maxverstappen1 but would u run away with me ?

→ yourusername yes!

→ user WHAATT

→ user this confirms everything basically

lilymhe so proud of u wifey 🤍🤍

→ yourusername mwaaa 💋

georgerussell63 i support this

→ yourusername thanks pretty princess

→ georgerussell63 nevermind

alex_albon lily and i will be listening on repeat

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1

Liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe, and 3,440,292 others

maxverstappen1 you said you love me, i say something back.

November 14th

View all 3,101 comments

user THE CHARLES SHADDEEE

user oh my hod. i adore them.

user ugh they’re the most bf gf couple ever

user charles could never LOOL

user these pictures im on the floor

user they’re my endgame

lilymhe she’s so cute in these pics

→ maxverstappen1 she’s always cute

danielricciardo FAVS

landonorris when they solo >

→ maxverstappen1 you’re the reason why i’m with her, thank you 😄

→ landonorris of course mate

christianhorner congratulations! happy for the both of you 🍾

georgerussell63 this is so goat coded

→ maxverstappen1 wow thanks

yourusername happy 9 months baby 💋

→ maxverstappen1 ik houd van je 🤍

→ user NINE. MONTHS.

→ user STOP NINEE…😭😭😭

yourusername wow we’re so adorable

arthur_leclerc thank you for making yn happier than my brother ever did 🙏🏼

→ maxverstappen ofc m8

→ user LMFAO EVEN HE’S TIRED OF CHARLES

౨ৎ finally… i posted… so SO so sorry for not posting in awhile, this took so long to post but 😭😭 here u gooo…. also thank u guys so much for 400 !!! i love u all <333 💋

taglist: @landovilla @moneygramhaas @ch3rryknots @amoosarte @1655clean @dark-night-sky-99 @kortneej81 @he6rtshaker ౨ৎ

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Is my punishment almost over?" Emily asked her boyfriend, Joey.

"No, not yet, baby girl..... I think you need to learn your lesson a bit longer."

"But....! The tournament is in a month. How can I perform like this?"

"Not my problem.... You should've thought of that before being such a naughty girl, Emily."

Joey wasn't wrong, in a way..... Almost a year ago he started dating an Olympic silver medalist gymnast, who was known the whole world over for her skill and dexterity. Shortly after dating her, though, he was sent something damning by a random person online.... At the time, Emily was basically flat chested, yet had a cute butt and tended to give the cameras sensual, flirty looks, often blowing kisses and winking at the camera, sometimes bending over unnecessarily to give the people filming her something to zoom in on.....

Turns out when pervy guys reblogged these clips and admitted to masturbating to her performance, she would reply, happily encouraging them. On her official account, zero shame, her with the silver medal as her avatar. She'd tell these random men to 'milk their cocks good' and 'cum real hard for her tight little ass', like some porn star. Joey saw this and was very amused..... So, he decided Emily had to be punished--badly. He told her she had to obey him and take breast growth pills, to give the next national gymnastics tournament before the Summer Olympics a good show.

"I'm sorry, Joey..... you know I can't help myself. I love to flirt."

"Which just tells me how badly you need to be punished. Look at this one I found! Some random married guy posted that he wants to throw you in his van, hogtie you, and put 'a pile of kids in your pretty gut'. Did you block him....?"

She shook her head. "No....."

"Oh wait, you went on an extended RP session in the public comments about how he was going to abduct and rape you. Damn, you're one messed up girl."

"Messed up as a guy that makes his girlfriend grow a pair of boobs that weigh 50lbs each? Knowing she's a gymnast!"

"Nah, not as bad. But hey, think of all the hot interactions you'll have on Instagram now! You're gonna step out, not in your leotard, but a bikini, these gigantic udders spilling out. And you'll do your routine.... as well as you can. Think of how many guys are gonna jerk off to that."

"Fuck.... that's so hot." Emily bit her lip, fondling her pussy and breasts. "They're so heavy.... I look like an idiot with these things....."

"Well, you are an idiot. A horny, drooling idiot, too obsessed with fondling that swollen pussy of yours to care whether or not millions see you flirt with married men and RP getting knocked up by them."

"I'm.... it's just a little addiction, is all. I could try therapy...."

"Nah, I think you deserve to be nothing but walking jerk-off fodder. You're done being a real athlete. They'll just have you on because your oversized, goofy looking udders will make so many desperate, horny men tune in. And a whole bunch of normies to make fun of you."

"Fuck you.... you find these tits sexy..... You just came so hard inside me!"

"Well, I find them less sexy than I do the fact that I made you grow them. Understand?"

She nodded obediently. "Yes, master."

"Good girl, now, isn't it going to be fun watching you balance those giant tits and a belly full of my kids at the next tournament? Damn, by the time the Olympics roll around, those tits will weigh 100lbs each. Won't that be so fitting? I can't wait to see you even try to perform..... Then your career will be sitting on OnlyFans, immobilized by those cartoonish udders, masturbating all day like the drooling, horny idiot you really are deep down. You'll be flirting with your desperate, gross fans, all of your regular fans won't want anything to do with you as you sit there ten hours a days fondling yourself, surrounded by a pair of tits too big for you to carry on your own....."

"Fuck you...."

"Don't act like you don't agree. You aren't an athlete Emily, you aspire to be nothing but walking jerk-off material. So you might as well go for gold, isn't that right?"

Emily bit her lip, rubbing her heavy breasts. "Then I better go for 200lbs each...... be totally trapped by these things...."

"Now that's the perverted little idiot I love."

"I aim to please, Master. ❤️"

[strawberrysturniolo]

SMUT WITH DEALER!CHRIS!!! YUHHH

hot and bothered // dealer!chris

veryyyyyy smutty summary: smoking with your dealer, chris, which turns into car sex

“Three grams should be fine.”

I don’t know shit about weed, yet here I am trying to negotiate the only cash I have with a random guy my friend knows. If I could look ahead of time and see myself standing here with my hands tucked in my sweatshirt pockets, kicking my feet around nervously as I wait for the dealer’s response, I would jump through the time warp and punch myself in the face. 

“We’ve never met,” he notices, and I nod. “Do you smoke, or are you trying to start?”

I rub my lips together, trying to think. I never smoked before this. Well, a few times, but it was never something I did regularly. I didn’t have a reason not to, I just didn’t really care about it. My reason for starting now is pathetic. Even I know that. 

Chris raises his eyebrows at me, eliciting a response to the question I never answered. 

“You’re supposed to say deal and take my money. I’m keeping your business alive. Why do you care what I need the weed for?”

I realize the snippy tone I had shoved in his face, and I take a small step back, accepting defeat. This is getting ridiculous. I just want some fucking weed. 

Chris scoffs, shifting the bag of weed from one hand to his other. “I was asking because I don’t want to fucking sell some lightweight girl weed that’s gonna make her spiral, so forgive me for asking. I don’t have to give you anything, you know? I have no problem turning down a deal.”

I watch as he shoves his hands with what I thought were going to be my belongings back into his pocket. My eyes widen, and I shake my head, trying to stop him.

“I’m just stressed out,” I confess, part of the truth. “I don’t like drinking, and I wanted to see if smoking would help.”

Chris pulls his hands back from his pockets, taking my cash and tucking it in his pants. “Wanna talk about it?”

I shake my head, my eyes following his hands, wondering if he just scammed me. He never hands me my purchase, he just watches me. 

“You sure?” 

A sigh leaves my throat, and before I even realize, my lips are moving and I’m spilling details about myself to him.

“I’m just dealing with a lot of stuff and–”

“It’s an extra 20 bucks for therapy.”

I roll my eyes. “Fuck off and give me my weed.”

He steps back before I can snatch anything from him. “I will gladly give your money back if I decide I shouldn’t give you anything because of why you want drugs. I’m only keeping the cash and the weed while we talk because you’re so desperate to spark up that I’m sure I could throw the bag and you’d run after it like a dog playing fetch.” He pats his hands on his thighs and widens his eyes at me, using a sort of baby voice as he says, “Who’s a good girl?” like I’m a fucking puppy. 

“My boyfriend dumped me and I’m fucking depressed. My friend said weed would help take the edge off so I’m not a mess all the time, not that it’s any of your business.” The words start spewing out of my mouth. “Also, it’s weed, not heroin.” 

He nods slowly, bringing his hand out of his pocket with a ziploc bag of weed. “Here.” I take the bag before he can retract his arm. “If you wanna talk at all, you can. Maybe I’ll lower my therapy price for you.”

I roll my eyes and start walking back to my car before turning around and calling out, “I never asked why you deal, so why do you care what I do with weed?”

He grins before he spins around on his feet and heads in the opposite direction. “Touche!” 

–

I’ve been buying from Chris for weeks now. We meet up every so often, and when I run out of money, he suggests we smoke together so I can get the high I’m chasing without spending money. 

The last few hours have been spent aimlessly scrolling through my phone, trying to distract myself from everything. I had completely forgotten about my plans for tonight until a message dropped from the top of my screen. 

Hot dealer: Outside

“Shit,” I mutter to myself, pulling on a sweatshirt and shoes as I stumble out the door. I like his message as I make my way down so he knows I’m coming, and I nod my head to my roommate, silently saying goodbye while she watches a movie. 

It’s not too cold in California tonight, but the shift of staying in my room all day under my covers sends chills down my layered body when I step outside. Even though Chris can see me, he tosses his hands up and lays his hand on the horn a few times. 

“I’m right here, dickhead!”

He reaches over the center console and shoves my door open. “Well, I’m fucking hungry! Hurry the fuck up.”

I sit in the passenger seat and kick my shoes off immediately, and I watch Chris shake his head in disapproval as he throws the car into drive and peels off my street. 

“Why do you do that shit?” he asks in an annoyed tone. I turn to him to argue back, but he beats me to it. “You get your smelly ass feet in here and lift them on the dash and the air blows right on them and then it fucking smells.” 

“You’re dramatic as fuck. That’s not even true.” 

He ignores me. “What do you want to eat?”

“Taco Bell.”

He nods. “Who’s buying?”

What a gentleman. 

“I am,” I tell him. He grins. “I’m buying if it means you let me smoke your weed.”

He looks over his shoulder as he jerks the wheel to the left. “You’re just using me.”

“We use each other,” I remind him. “We do drugs and then we fuck. I get high, and you get laid. Everyone wins.”

This has been a fair trade since the start. I ran out of money and Chris made a move on me, one that I couldn’t turn down. I wanted him bad. I needed him. I can’t explain what we have. Maybe it’s friends with benefits. We don’t even feel like friends. It’s more of a business transaction. 

Sometimes I wonder what my feelings for Chris really are. He’s a really good looking guy. I’ve never denied that. The last thing I want right now is a relationship. The very last thing would be to be with someone who isn’t my ex. Me and Chris will only ever fuck. I have no interest in having my heart broken, and he has no interest in committing to one girl. 

My mind is everywhere else when he orders us food. I don’t even realize we’ve left Taco Bell until the sound of the bag hitting my lap snaps me out of my trance. 

“Come on, eat,” he says like an instruction. “I know you haven’t left that bed, and if I ask you if you’ve eaten in the past day, I’m scared for the answer.”

I take a bite of a taco to shut him up.

He smiles and pushes the hair out of my face. “Atta girl.” 

Once I finish my first taco, while he watches to make sure I don’t spit it out, he hands me a rolled joint like it’s a dessert.

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

He pulls a lighter out of his pocket, waiting for me to put the joint in my mouth before he leans over and lights it for me. “Don’t think you’re smoking that by yourself. I want it back when it’s halfway. You shouldn’t smoke all that by yourself.”

I’m tired of him fucking me and then trying to give me instructions like he’s my guardian. One second I’m bent over the car with his dick leaving an imprint on my insides, and the next he’s telling me I need to be eating three meals a day and drinking water. 

The first thought in my head when the burning sensation hits my throat is how pleased I am with this feeling. Everything is washing away. Everything feels right again. 

“Why did you start dealing?”

Chris looks at me with furrowed brows, muffling a, “huh?” against the taco in his mouth. The question caught him completely off guard. He chews, swallows, then says, “Um, I needed the money, and I liked smoking. It’s literally as simple as that.”

There’s a point to all of this that I never really thought of or cared about until now. 

“Why did you try to stop me from buying from you when I said I was sad and wanted an escape.”

He finishes his taco off, then looks straight ahead, avoiding me while he answers my burning question. 

“I guess I was just dealing with a lot when I tried weed, and yeah it’s not a hard drug but, I couldn’t get the escape that I was looking for, so I just started trying all kinds of shit until it fucked me over,” he confesses. “You just looked so shy and scared and vulnerable, and I didn’t want to do the same thing to you just for a few extra dollars.”

“So you care about people?”

He grimaces and lets out a displeased groan. “God don’t put it like that.”

“Admit it!” I push a little further, removing the joint from between my lips and holding it with my pointer finger and my thumb. “You cared about me.”

He yanks the joint from me and lays it between his own lips. “I still do, dipshit.”

There’s a weird feeling of warmth that takes over my body. I definitely care about Chris. I just wouldn’t go as far as saying we’re anything more than acquaintances who smoke a lot and engage in other activities together while we’re high. We’ve never hooked up sober. We both know it’s a stupid idea. We only want each other when there are other elements involved, and we plan to keep it that way because it’s the only way that we make sense. 

Even though I know all of this, I can’t help but stare at him like he’s the most fascinating person I’ve ever met. 

“What are you thinking about?” he presses. I shake my head, embarrassed to think that there is any possibility I could have any sort of interest in Chris above what we have right now. “Tell me, baby.”

The nickname sends chills down my arms. I remember the first time he said that. He gave me an edible to try, and when I downed three, he said, “Okayyyyyy baby,” in a worried tone, then followed it with, “You’re staying here tonight. No way am I letting you drive home after you just dogged that shit.”

His eyes meet mine, and he chuckles. “Fuck, I love being high.” His free hand reaches for my chin, holding it between two of his fingers. “It’s like everything else just poof… vanishes. Nothing matters anymore.”

I nod, finding myself distracted with the pounding of my heart against my ribcage as his thumb strokes my cheek.

“What’s crazy is,” he continues. “Even when I’m not high, I am because I’m with you. You know?”

And I’m back.

“What?”

He doesn’t say anything else. He places the softest kiss to my lips, then takes another hit of the joint before he lets it out, turning his head back around and kissing me harder with both hands on my face. 

My mind is racing, but my hands are desperately trying to hold onto him in any way. They find the back of his neck, toying with the curls at the base of his neck. He groans against my mouth, letting me know over and over again that he loves where I am. He grows needier with his mouth, fighting his tongue against mine until our teeth are clashing. He sucks on my bottom lip, sliding the driver's seat backwards before lifting me over the center console and resting me in his lap. 

I gasp at the impact of his hard dick pressing my throbbing clit when I sit down on him. Without missing a beat, he yanks my sweatshirt off and presses his mouth on my neck, sliding the straps of my tank top down so he can kiss my collarbone with as much freedom as he desires. 

“How is every part of you so perfect?” he asks in a whisper as if I could answer that question. I would do anything to see myself in his eyes. 

“It’s not–”

“Hush.”

I can’t keep myself from rocking my hips lazily on his. Everything is so messy and done without any care other than us getting each other off. Chris’ head tips back when I slow down over his tip, finding it with ease even though we’re both clothed. 

“Ohhhh god baby,” he purrs, his eyes feathering shut as he drops his head back into my neck, nipping at my collarbone. His hands slide up my tank top, pinching my nipples.

“Fuck, Chris,” I whine. Between his hands on me and his dick rubbing against my pussy, I’ll be a goner soon. 

“Yeah? What do you want?” he teases, gripping my hips tighter and rocking me with more force.

At this point, I only grind on him harder. The friction gives me so much, yet not enough at the same time. 

When I don’t answer him, he grips my jaw. “Answer me.”

I stop moving, breathing heavier as I try to catch up with myself. “Just like this. Want you to fuck me.”

Chris' smile grows like this is all he’s waited for, but it quickly falls to a pout as he rubs his hand over my cheek. I take the chance when his thumb is poking at my lip to suck it into my mouth, letting my tongue twirl around it. 

“You know you don’t make the rules,” he reminds me. “If I fuck you in here, it’s in the backseat.”

I nod, agreeing to anything he wants if it means his dick is stretching me out. “That’s fine, just please.” 

His hand gives my ass a tap in agreement as he lightly bucks his hips up into mine. “Get in the back.” I obey, stepping out of the car and opening the back door. “Ass up,” he adds.

As soon as I’m on my hands and knees with my butt up, I hear the other back door close, and Chris’ hands on my waist follow immediately after. “Yeahhhh good girl.” He yanks my sweatpants down, leaving them around my knees. He presses wet kisses on my ass cheek before slapping over the same spot. “You’re so good for me baby, listening so well, hmm?”

“Uh huh,” I moan out as his hand strikes the spot again. 

He peels off my underwear at a painfully slow rate. I hear Chris gasp behind me, a cocky smirk so obviously on his face even though I can’t see him. His thumb rubs over my slit, spreading my arousal around. “Fuckkk, you little slut.”

“Chris, please,” I plead desperately. His thumb continues to rub over me until he pushes it inside, moving it in circular motions and waiting to hear my moans of approval. “More.”

“So greedy, aren’t you?”

I can’t stop my hips from following the motion of his hand. Every time he slides his thumb out, my ass is trying to make sure his finger doesn’t have the chance to leave my pussy. 

He replaces his thumb with two fingers, making my body go still as I get used to the feeling. A whimper leaves my lips as he starts pumping slowly, and I become a complete mess when his tongue is added.

“Chris,” I pant his name. Any and all vocabulary has been stripped from me. I’m unable to form full sentences.

His tongue flattens over my pussy before he curls the tip of it, slipping between me. He uses one hand to finger me and the other to hold my legs apart and keep them from clenching together when it becomes too much. 

“You can take it baby, I know you can,” he assures me, sounding so sweet until he adds, “If you can’t take my fingers, how are you going to take my cock in your tight pussy?”

We stay in that position for a few minutes. My knees buckle over time as the pleasure becomes too much, a ball of fire growing in my stomach. 

My hand reaches behind me and grips his wrist. “Chris–”

“Don’t you dare fucking cum,” he warns. I fall silent, hearing only the sound of the fabric covering his lower half being pushed down. I look over my shoulder, watching him stroke his hard cock. His chin is pressed to his chest, his eyes flickering between my pussy and his dick. “You’re gonna sit there and take it like a fucking good girl and wait for me, right?”

“Uh huh,” I nod breathlessly, forcing myself to keep it together despite noticing the feeling of me dripping down my own legs already. 

Seconds later, his tip is teasing my entrance, and he gives me no warning before pushing himself in. I don’t need time to adjust anymore. His body fits perfectly with mine, and before he starts thrusting at a steady pace, he leans over and rests his chest on my back, moving my hair out of the way before gently kissing the back of my neck. 

“You look so good, baby.”

I hum in response, struggling to speak when his dick buries itself deeper. He takes that sound as a sign to start thrusting into me, holding his hands at my hips and pulling me back into him, meeting him halfway. 

“Fuck, that’s it. Take my cock like that,” he mutters. There’s nothing shy about Chris, especially during sex. He’s the most out there kind of guy, always suggesting something new to keep things fun, introducing me to more things than drugs. 

I struggle to make any sound other than staggered moans and broken cries of pleasure. I need him in every way. I crave him more than any drug I’ve tried. 

I lift my ass higher as I drop my head into the seat. His hand slaps my ass, thrusting harder afterwards. 

Everything about this moment is perfect. The high I had been chasing, this with Chris, the way his dick fills me perfectly like it was made for me. 

A gasp leaves my mouth before I even realize I’m making a sound. “I’m gonna cum.”

He doesn’t respond. He picks up the pace and fills me deeper, and I grip onto the door for support. My moans are uncontrollable at this point. 

“Gonna cum in your pussy,” he mumbles. “Watch it all pour out of you.” He groans as I clench around him, my orgasm flying out of me and leading him to his. He groans as his pace slows, his thrusts becoming messier and desperate. He fills me in seconds, pulling out and jerking off so the rest lays on my ass. He moans at the sight of his cum dripping out of my pussy before he uses his tongue to clean up the mess we made. “You okay?”

I nod. He dresses himself and gets a napkin to clean the rest of our cum with. After placing one kiss to my ass cheek, he pulls my sweatpants back up. 

“I’ll buy you plan B before I drop you off,” he assures me. I’ve heard this sentence far too many times from him. He notices my silence and asks. “You sure you’re good?”

“Yeah,” I lie. “Just need to smoke some more.”

He laughs a bit then leans to the front of the car to fish out another joint. 

I know exactly what the issue is. 

I’m falling for my dealer. 

[emotionaldamages]

multi-tasker- charles leclerc

charles leclerc x mclaren admin!actress!reader

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y/n l/n

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y/n l/n when I'm forced to hangout with my mclarens boy

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mclaren

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y/n l/n

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen, and 8,876,833

y/nleclerc I'm a multi tasker

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mclaren

mclaren The mini driver, Adelina Leclerc L/N has arrived! Big congratulations to y/n and charles! (she'll be back guys, shes spending her time with her little one!)

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y/nleclerc

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y/nleclerc baby adelina is well loved❤

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charles_leclerc

liked by y/nleclerc, danielriccardo, and 2,988,134

charles_leclerc our baby is a year old❤

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landonorris shes growing up too fast💔

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maxverstappen p wants a playdate

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