#girl i’m busy. i’ve got fictional gay sex to be writing. i don’t have time for the real thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness

All these kind words you spew...

It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...

Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.

Something about young impressionable minds or people?

Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.

They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.

If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.

I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.

The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.

That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:

Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.

I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.

So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.

If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.

I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...

Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?

Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.

There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.

To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...

They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.

It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?

And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?

So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'

Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.

Misleading alt facts

Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀

Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?

You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.

For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.

A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.

Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.

Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.

You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.

I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.

Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.

Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.

You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.

I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?

You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.

This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.

You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.

Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.

They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.

You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.

You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?

They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.

Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?

Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.

But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.

What else did you say?

Oh postulating without evidence...

Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.

Let me leave you with this:

Peace and kindness. Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY.

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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Understanding and acceptance: a short story consisting of things that actually happened

[A/N: I was on the phone with my mum and she told me that I seem to be in a creative mood and that I should write something. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and share a personal story while also writing it as if it’s fiction. So here goes.]

Word count: 2K

-- 2 weeks ago --

It’s a quiet Saturday evening. My brother Max and I are walking home together, deep in conversation. I have no memory of what the conversation had been about when it started, but I do remember that it somehow got to this:

‘...all this assuming you’re straight, of course, and I’m not assuming anything--’

‘What does being straight mean?’ Max says in a tone that tells me he genuinely doesn’t know. So I feel obligated to explain it in the simplest terms possible. ‘Well, in your case it would mean that you, a boy, like girls.’

‘Well, that’s the normal thing for any person!’ He nearly cuts me off with this. I calculate my next step carefully.

‘Not every person,’ I say, keeping my voice as calm as possible. ‘I’m not straight.’ Of course, he knows that. I came out to my whole family at once three years ago, hoping for the awkward discussions to be over with that. It hasn’t worked out quite as I envisioned it yet.

‘Yeah, but you’re not normal either,’ Max parries. Can’t argue with that. Lucky for me, that is when we reach the front door and each one goes off to mind their own business.

I know very well just how ‘not normal’ I am. Not in that cliche ‘I’m not like other girls’ way, but in a way that causes Bulgarians undereducated on mental health and identity labels (which is unfortunately most people over 30) to brand a person clinically insane, unstable, a threat to the Traditional Bulgarian Family™. Being aroace and having severe social anxiety and ADHD to top it off, I hardly classify as ‘normal’. This is a frequent cause for arguments at the dinner table at home, most of which end in a. tears and/ or a panic attack on my part, b. my father storming off and pretending to be asleep whenever someone goes to call him back to dinner, c. my brother gluing himself to his phone, leaving his plate half-untouched, d. my mother crying over ‘what kind of mother am I that I can’t even have my family together at the table once’, and usually e. all of the above.

For this scenario to play out, however, the whole family of four is required to be present. So fortunately it only happens every other weekend when Dad and I come back home from the capital, where we have been living for the better part of three years now, ever since he got promoted and I started uni. When I’m away from my loving but over-controlling mum and my brother, who seemed to become obnoxious overnight the moment he turned 13 a little over a year ago, I usually have significantly fewer reasons to cry or feel anxious about... you name it. So we do fine. For the most part.

-- this evening --

I am watching Joe and Frankie’s performance of A Whole New World for the thousandth time today when I get a text from Mum.

Mum: How’s my girl doing?

Mum: I haven’t been able to hear from you with all the fuss about your brother.

Max is at that point in his education where he’s applying for high schools. His exam results have just come in and now everyone in the family is stressing about whether his scores will be enough to get him into the school he wants to go to. It’s a big deal, but with all the Rodfini magic going on (and with how terribly behind I am on my internship assignment) I have just been completely unable to care.

Speaking of Rodfini and A Whole New World, I have been repressing the instinctive urge to send my mum the video all day, and when I get her texts, I almost nearly muster up the courage to do it. But between me and her, this is not something you do over text. So I give her a ring instead.

When she picks up, the sound of her voice combined with the anxiety over what I want to tell her makes me tear up and the words are stuck in my throat.

‘Erm-- Mum, can I tell you something?’ I say, still not sure if I’m not about to regret taking up the subject at all.

‘Dear, you know you can tell me anything,’ she says, sounding concerned at my obviously-trying-to-swallow-tears voice.

‘You mean it?’ I ask, listening to her tone to make sure. I wish I could read tones better. ‘Anything?’

‘Is something wrong, honey?’ Oh gods, she’s in a really benevolent mood. I grow more and more afraid of ruining that with my ‘obsession with gays’.

‘Erm, so I guess you should know Dad and I had the tiniest disagreement just now,’ I say, deciding last minute to start with something she might deem ‘more relevant to the family’s personal lives’. ‘You know, we were watching the Euros and then the match ended and we watched the news, and then Dad changed the channel so he could watch the next match. And I was like ‘whoa, what’s with the video quality’, and so dad was like ‘you really need go get your eyes checked out’; and I tried to explain that there was a very obvious difference in quality between the two channels, and he kept yelling at me that I was ruining my eyesight spending all day staring at a screen.’

‘Did he sound annoyed or just concerned?’ Mum asks me.

‘I know what you’re thinking. And I know full well that he’s my parent and he’s concerned about my health. But you should have heard his tone.’

‘So are you two in a fight now?’

‘No. Well, I don’t know.’ I really don’t. It’s hard to tell when one side of the argument refuses to talk about his feelings as if that will kill him. But I don’t tell Mum that. She’s been dealing with Dad since long before I was even planned, so she knows him better than I do. ‘The thing is, he called me back and said that, well, one of the channels was HD and the other was not, so there was indeed a difference, but he thought it was ‘unnatural’ that I was able to register it so immediately, and he kept insisting there was something wrong with my eyes. I should think that seeing something quickly would be a sign of good vision, not bad. Besides,’ I keep talking, nearly desperate to justify myself, ‘I did some research and sensitivity to light is a symptom of ADHD. So it’s nothing new, really.’

‘Oh, please, dear. You’re of a new generation, and ADHD is something of the older generation. Don’t be so quick to self-diagnose.’

I guess there’s some reason to what she says, or at least the last part of it, so I give up on pursuing the subject further. ‘Yeah, anyway,’ I say, ‘I just thought it was all a bit rich coming from the man who refuses to wear his prescription glasses. I haven’t got any prescription glasses, you know.’

I don’t want to come off too cheeky because I still want to try and talk to her about how happy Rodfini have made me today. A while ago, Mum would accuse me of only calling her to complain when I was unhappy, so I have since made it a point to call her when I am happy and tell her so. That’s why I’ve been itching to share this with her. And now the time has come.

‘You know, I’ve been crying in a completely different way today,’ I begin tentatively. ‘A good way, A really, really good way,’ I add quickly before she can get worried again.

‘Yeah? So what was it that made you so happy that you cried?’ Goodness, there’s no turning back now. I decide to proceed with caution.

‘Oh, well, it was this performance, you know. A really beautiful song. So I’ve been wanting to show it to you, but I was worried about how you’d react.’

‘And why would that be?’ she asks in the same kind tone that keeps making me anxious about potentially ruining everything.

‘Well, erm...’ I feel myself start to stutter. ‘See, it’s a love song, and it’s... ok, I’ll just say it. It’s sung by two guys. As in, a couple, you see.’ I keep feeling up the ground with my words, anxious to hear her reaction. It’s like when I’m opening an exam result -- I want to know, but I’m too scared to look. And so now, in my anxious despair to know what she thinks about it, I miss the beginning of her response. ‘And I know how you are about those things, so I...’ I genuinely don’t know what to say. I’ve done my thing again. I’ve kept talking so much that she hasn’t even been able to react audibly. So I trail off, determined to let her speak this time.

‘Ok, but... why do you get so affected by those things?’ Mum says, starting to sound suspiciously like she’s about to question my own orientation again. I feel the need to justify myself for the second time since the conversation has started.

‘Well, it’s just that... I really wish you would just see them, Mum. If you could just see how they look at each other, you’d see that there’s just love. So much love. And joy at being able to express themselves as they are.’

I’m speaking from the heart now. I am finally letting out how much I want her to give them a chance because she deserves to see and hear their magical performance. She must be sensing the anguished sincerity in my voice as I finally manage to stop crying and I smile through the tears, because she says, ‘Dear, are you... are you trying to tell me something there?’

I sigh. She’s asked me this question nearly every time I’ve started speaking ‘too’ passionately about anything LGBTQ+ Which isn’t an awful lot in her presence, but there have been several occasions. Once about Solangelo, at the beach. Once about NPH and his husband David and their children, at the dinner table, as I was trying to explain how same-sex couples can have kids; that one resulted in a seriously bad scene of the type I described earlier. Once about a participant in a reality show who identified as a gay man then, but has recently come out as a trans woman; whenever she’s been mentioned on television, I’ve fought to repress my inner urge to express my happiness for her and the representation she is for the Bulgarian LGBTQ+ community. I wonder even now if my parents have noticed my silence on the subject -- because they certainly do notice when I am not silent.

So now, when the time seems to have come for me to set things straight about my non-straight-ness (bad pun very much intended), I try my best to keep my voice from shaking. ‘I’m not trying to tell you anything I haven’t already told you, Mum. Really.’

‘Are you perhaps attracted to the same gender, dear?’ It seems so unbelievable that she’s said it, and even more that she’s worded like that, but she really has. I force myself to be calm and patient.

‘No, Mum. I’ve told you -- I am not attracted to any gender, be it male, female or anything else, really. You know that.’

‘Well, it sounded as if you--’

‘No, Mum. Really. But I do need you to understand that part of my identity is that I feel the need to support people with other identities different from straight. I’m happy for their successes. I'm concerned about their issues. They’re a sort of family to me. Do you understand that?’ I say, relieved to be speaking my truth at last. At the same time, I try to sound as reasonable and mature about the whole thing as possible. I don’t want to put her off, especially not now that I’m knee-deep in the subject already. I’ve gone too far to turn back now.

‘Yes, honey. Yes, I do. I just don’t want you to exert yourself emotionally, is all. Plus I’ve been so stressed out about your brother and all, you know...’

‘Yeah, I do know. And I know he’ll be fine. He’s a nice boy. I just wished he didn’t keep calling me ‘abnormal’ all the time...’

‘Oh, well, don’t listen to him. He’s been quite stressed out too. And he’s 14. It’s just how he is at this age.’

I’m not too sure about that. ‘Boys will be boys’. It’s ok for boys, then, to pour salt into their neurodivergent sisters’ wounds? I don’t think so. But I can’t fix every problem in one talk. Plus my mum sounds tired now.

So I just say, ‘I guess... Well, anyway, thank you so much, Mum. For hearing me out, and for supporting me, and for everything else. Please don’t worry so much.’

But I know she can’t not worry at all. I’ve got that from her.

‘If you’re sure you’re all ok now, dear...’

‘Yeah, mum, I am. Or I will be. You know, there’s this expression with English, ‘to run with something’. So I’ve been telling myself, I’ll at least try to walk with things. You know I’m not much of a runner anyway.’ I actually laugh, even though the pun is quite untranslatable into Bulgarian.

‘You know I’m proud of you, right?’

I know that has very little to do with the kind of pride I’ve been celebrating all month, but I say, ‘Of course I do. And you know what? I’m quite proud of myself, too.’ I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I mean it. I mean it wholeheartedly this time.

‘I’m nearly falling asleep, though, dear, so I say we call it a night?’

‘Good night, Mummy. And thanks.’

I hang up. Then I forward the video to her.

I’ve come so far, indeed. I reckon we both have.

#writing #personal #asexual #aromantic #lgbtq+#jnk #rodfini #frankie rodriguez #joe serafini #solangelo #hoo #neil patrick harris #family #family dynamics #found family #pride month #adhd #long post

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remuswriting · 4 years

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So, I’ve decided to write up this post about my pet peeves even though literally no one asked. This focuses on a lot of things but the majority of it speaks about male readers. I’ve noticed the majority of people who write male reader are cishet girls and while it’s great that more male reader content is being made, the content is not always the best when it comes to accuracy. These are all things I’ve noticed as a gay man and I feel like should be addressed and fixed.

Something to keep in mind is that I say gay man throughout this but you can put in any sexuality or gender (besides cishet) in there that makes more sense for you. Obviously mlm doesn’t mean gay men but gay relationship because man loves man. Just wanted to put that disclaimer out there.

Submissive Reader

Okay, so the reader being submissive is totally cool and everything but not when it’s literally every single male reader post out there. Now, submissive in this case isn’t just sexually but ‘personality’ as well. The media depicts a lot of gay men as very feminine and over the top or incredibly soft, which everyone says is submissive. This idea feeds into heteronormativity, which means “denoting or relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation.” You could also just say that it’s forcing straight roles onto lgbt people, even though they’re not straight.

The reader doesn’t need to be all soft spoken and uwu just because you want the Haikyuu guy to be the dominant one in the relationship. Personality doesn’t go with what you’re like in bed because why would it be? Do girls always act like the way you’re writing submissive male readers just because they ‘bottom?’ No, they don’t. It’s very aggravating to read because it literally discredits every guy who doesn’t act or dress that way and may ‘bottom.’ I know gay guys who literally just wear ratty t-shirts, cargo shorts, and sandals they bought three years ago and drink beer like no one’s business. They’re still gay submissive men who are being looked over because people want to use heteronormativity when it shouldn’t be.

Over Sexualization + Fetishism

This is not always the case but I’m going to mention it. A lot of cishet women read or watch yaoi and find it so incredibly hot and then become obsessed with mlm relationships. If that is your reasoning for writing male reader, then don’t. It’s already disgusting enough that me being in a relationship with another man has gotten me messages asking who tops and who bottoms and what the sex is like. It’s really easy to see who sees mlm relationships as yaoi and fetishizes it and who sees mlm relationships as relationships between two men. There are blogs who are ran by gay men and them posting nsfw things dealing with mlm is completely different than a woman doing so. We are not your fetish.

Also, the over sexualization of gay men is when you’re always thinking about mlm couples having sex and you have to make everything sexual is starting to become more and more prevalent in any fandom and real life, which is disgusting and ridiculous. When a mlm couple goes to the store to get groceries, don’t find some way to make it where they’re going to have rough sex when they get home. Let them buy their fucking groceries and have a fluffy moment. You ruin the quality of the writing when making everything sexual.

If you write smut, then make them use lube and a condom. Spit hurts so fucking bad, an asshole isn’t like a vagina that self-lubricates, so use lube. I’m literally just saying that I don’t know any gay men that would rather have spit be used to prep instead of lube. Also, I know you all think it’s so hot for guys to come in each other, but it’s so unsanitary. Of course, if they’re each other’s firsts, it’s not as disgusting (still disgusting) but if they’re not each other firsts; have them wear condoms. They should be getting tested after every sexual partner to make sure they’re not getting any STDs. There are some STDs that literally never go away and they need to wear a condom any time they have sex or else they could infect that other person. Yes, I know that you’re writing where they’ve never had sex with anyone before but let’s be real with some of your prompts. Majority of men have sex in college and when they got to bars, so it’s not unlikely for them to not be a virgin.

Sexualizing Minors

I know everyone has an opinion on this, so here’s mine; don’t. I don’t give two shits if it’s fictional, you are still sexualizing minors. I don’t understand why you are all so dead set on only writing them in high school when there is literally a whole time skip to use. According to Japanese law, you become an adult when you’re 20, which means that high school guys should not have any smut written for them.

None of the Haikyuu boys were even thinking about sex in high school. The fandom has made some of them sex gods when they were all volleyball losers who only thought about school and volleyball. It’s confirmed Kuroo was in college prep classes and he also forced Kenma to be on the volleyball team. He only thinks about school and volleyball, sorry guys. Ushijima is literally only volleyball and it is so funny you guys think he’s all sexual. The guy is too stupid to realize common things about earth and it’s gravity, do you really think he’s going to be all ‘daddy’ with anyone?

Another thing is how I don’t see the appeal for anyone to have sex in the gym or club room or in public due to the number of germs there are. This goes back to people over sexualizing mlm relationships but there’s no need to have so many public sex things written about high schoolers. Instead of doing all that weird shit, write for the Haikyuu guys when they’re 20+ and do like college AUs (my favorite) or just follow the time skip. I promise you, it’s not that hard when there’s a whole Haikyuu wiki page just about the timeline that breaks everything down into years and months.

Americanization

Buckle your seatbelts boys because this is going to be a long one.

I notice in nearly everything I read is that you guys Americanize it. Sure, you don’t know Japanese culture, so you write what you know. This is really annoying though because you’re taking away from the culture Haikyuu comes from. If you want to make it like it’s in the United States, then make it an alternate universe instead of doing whatever you’re doing.

I have been writing Haikyuu fanfiction for years and have done plenty of research when it comes to Japanese culture from Googling things to intense reading to taking notes from what I notice in different animes. One thing I’ve been working on for awhile focuses on Hinata, who is a trans guy. There are a lot of people who would just make it as American as possible but I’ve been researching about how Japan is with the lgbt community. Just because I want to write a character to be something doesn’t mean I’m going to Americanize it. Let me share what I’ve read.

Gay marriage isn’t really a thing in Japan. Two prefectures have it but it literally means about nothing when it comes to the government. If they just want to get married because they really love each other, then that may work for them but they will not be seen as married to the government. It is still taboo for people to be gay in Japan, so no one really screams it from the rooftops that they’re gay and dating someone of the same gender. Transgender people are just now getting places to go to get hormone replacement therapy and if I remember correctly, it’s maybe a handful of places but at least one for sure. LGBT things in Japan are not the same as they are in the United States, so don’t write it like it is. I’ve been told I’m writing it that way to create angst when in reality it’s because that’s how it is over there.

I’m going to come off as rude here but how the fuck are you guys writing their schools wrong? They don’t go to different classrooms each period; they literally stay in one class all day and the teachers change for each period. This is one of my biggest pet peeves because why do you have to Americanize this thing when it’s literally clear as day something that doesn’t happen over in Japan. Here are some things about Japanese schools.

They start at 8:45am and end at 3:15pm. Schools in Japan go from Monday to Friday but used to be Monday through Saturday. There are three terms: April to July, September to December, and then finally January to March. Each term gets a report card and finals. Classes are 40 minutes long with 10 minute breaks in between to do whatever as long as you’re back in your seat before the next class. Elementary and middle schools always had some type of field trip, so if you could always have reader meet one of the boys on the field trip because maybe both of their schools went to the same place.

It’s not that hard to look this stuff up. To look all of that up, it took maybe 30 minutes because I was checking different sources to try to fact check somethings. I’m just one for accuracy and it drives me nuts when someone doesn’t put in the same effort I did into making things as accurate as possible.

Settings

I’ve already discussed school setting, so let’s go into some settings that are typically written incorrectly. This is usually because people don’t have actual experience with that environment.

University

I can’t find just a whole lot all about university in Japan but I’ve found some, so I’ll share what I’ve found. University students take fashion seriously because they’ve been forced to wear uniforms for the last six years. In the United States, we value comfort over fashion and I’ll admit I’ve gone to lecture in pajamas before and not cared because it was an 8am class but it’s not like that in Japan. Everyone tries to look as good as possible because they finally can.

Dorms are not like they are in the United States. My living situation right now is more like theirs than the U.S. aka I live in an apartment by myself (I need a roommate though because rent is so fucking expensive). About every student lives in an apartment and there are no dorms unless you are a foreign exchange student and you’re still technically in an apartment but you have a roommate you didn’t pick. Characters can live in the same apartment complex if you want them to but Kenma literally lived in a house in his second year of university if you want to have that accuracy.

They don’t change their major once they start college. As much as I could see some of them constantly changing their majors, you just don’t do that in Japan. It’s a pretty weird concept because my mother changed her major six times before she stuck with nursing and I know a guy that has been at a two year college for five years because he keeps changing his major. They decide what they want to do because they start university and have to hope they’re going to like it.

I read an article from someone who went to university in Japan and the entrance exams to universities are apparently the hardest part about university there. You don’t have to really work much to pass classes in Japan because all you need to do is show up to get the units for the course. Some classes don’t even require attendance, you just have to write a report by the end of the semester. This is so different than university in the United States where you are literally drowning in homework every single day and debate on dropping out constantly.

Hospitals

As someone who has multiple family members who worked in hospitals, which made me be in hospitals constantly as a child, and had a lot of medical issues, it is the most annoying thing to see people write hospital wrong. There is so much information online that you can look up as well as just asking people you know who have been in hospitals as either patients, visitors, or employees. This is going to based off of American hospitals because I was having a difficult time finding things about

In regular hospitals, you cannot leave the floor without anyone knowing. There is literally no way to break out of there without someone knowing. This applies to at night too because there are always nurses there at the nurses station because they have to check up on patients and give medication as well as help people go to the bathroom. Doctors don’t stay at night because their shift is during the day. You may not have the same nurse twice while in the hospital because they work 12 hour shifts. I don’t know if this is the same system as in Japan but nurses don’t work every single day if they work in a hospital, they do have days off where other nurses will take their shifts. In the United States, some hospitals have four 12 hour shift days in a row and then three free days. Nurses change patients a lot because of the people taking that shift or they have to go work on a different floor.

You are required to eat, even if it’s through an IV. Also, you always have an IV in your arm if you are admitted to the hospital because it’s just how it is. Typically regular hospitals aren’t all that pretty and I’ve been to like dozens for multiple things, but psychiatric hospitals usually have the prettiest grounds. That’s just a random thing that I’ve observed in my 21 years of going to hospitals.

#remy rants #haikyuu rant #writing rant

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guardiandae · 5 years

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Why Asexual Awareness Is Important To Me

because growing up, I was told that one day I’d get married and have a honeymoon. like it was as inevitable as death. it terrified me. I didn’t know there was any other option. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

because when I started dating, I was never exactly opposed to sexual experiences. but I got rejected anyway out of impatience, because I didn’t pick up on clues, or I didn’t initiate. I’m still not sure. ‘We’ve been dating a few weeks and you don’t wanna do anything, so forget it.’ You didn’t ask. How am I supposed to know? In retrospect, I’m glad.

because when I came out to my mother as gay, it felt so simple to me. matter of fact. how could it be any different? but she made sure it hurt. she twisted my words and screamed at me. she called me an embarrassment. she asked if i’d ever had sex with a girl, and of course I said no. why would I have to have sex to know? why is straight the default when no one else at my age has had sex either? why would sex ever be a prerequisite? but she screamed at me that it didn’t count then. I couldn’t be gay. didn’t count. she made sure that I ended up in tears. and to this day I see other LGBT screaming at aces that we don’t count. That not having sex or not feeling sexual attraction towards the same sex is homophobic. the same homophobic arguments that were used against me when I identified as a lesbian, recycled by the people whose rights I’ve stood and fought for my entire life.

because when I had my first Real girlfriend, my first Love, my first sexual experiences, I was never frightened, but also never into it. I didn’t understand why it didn’t click for me. Why I was never struck breathless by her beautiful form but instead, oh no. How am I supposed to react so she doesn’t take offense? because she was Gorgeous, but whatever I felt was clearly... lacking. not enough. and I felt broken, broken, broken.

because in my time, the A in LGBTQIA often did stand for ally. Sometimes asexuality was mentioned offhandedly, interchangeably. an afterthought. barely a footnote. but I never knew what it was. The information I was given was limited. aces aren’t interested in sex. as if it were all wrapped up in a neat little bow for them, content and perfect. but i was interested in sex. how could i not be? it haunted me. I didn’t know you could feel romantic attraction separately from sexual attraction, or that aces could deal with sex without feeling attraction. I thought I was “gay but just really bad at it.”

because I spent so many sleepless nights crying myself to sleep wondering and worrying if the person I was dating really knew and believed that I loved them even if I couldn’t feel sexual attraction towards them.

because I was so terrified of sex that I became obsessed with it. I thought I had to learn as much as I could and that would somehow cure me. Read articles, learn in theory how to do the acts, what to expect, how to behave. Consume fiction, consume porn, brace myself for the inevitable, condition myself to grow into it. All I managed to do was become very good at writing smut and still have a complete disconnect in real life.

because when I finally questioned myself, my ex boyfriend, who was asexual, told me flat out that because I wrote and enjoyed fictional porn, I “didn’t count” as asexual. because I thought that he, as someone who had already claimed the label of asexual, surely knew better than me what it meant. and nothing online that I could find, at the time, contradicted him. I thought to myself, but... that’s fiction. but nothing supported me. so I cried and then I buried it and I tried even harder to fit in with my sexualized peers and didn’t let myself think about it anymore. for years.

because I admittedly put myself into really dangerous situations, thinking that if I could just lose my virginity and get it over with, I’d be better off down the line for someone else. like it was something I could just break out of me.

because despite literally years of trying to condition myself to think and behave sexually online, to roll with the jokes that made me cringe, eventually it got to me. I started having breakdowns, panic attacks, crying fits, and I had no idea why or what was wrong with me.

because when I revisited asexuality and finally found just a single line that said aces can masturbate and enjoy porn and still be ace, it was the single biggest relief of my life. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. I didn’t have to keep breaking myself trying to fit where I didn’t belong. I wasn’t broken in the first place.

because when I came out as ace, on my first ace week, several of my fandom friends did as well, and none of us had known the others felt the same way. We’d been so lost and isolated and alone and now we weren’t anymore.

because just knowing and being able to set boundaries for myself and give myself permission to walk away from conversations that became too uncomfortable, was a tremendous relief on my mental health and happiness.

because when I came out, my blog was posted on r*dd*t for the lulz and I had anons coming to harass me and ask me if I had been assaulted and traumatized and wishing for me to seek a ‘cure’. Complete fucking strangers. I saw my friends get death threats and rape threats just for saying ‘I’m ace’.

because despite personally writing smut and knowing other aces who write smut, I’ve still been personally attacked and accused of ‘hating nsfw’ and I’ve seen aphobes react like aces existing is somehow a fucking moral judgement against non-aces

because even aces who are completely sex-repulsed shouldn’t have to suck it up and act like they personally approve of sex in any form, in order to make other sex-crazed people mind their own fucking business and give them a ‘pass’. I’m not ‘one of those good aces’ just because I like fictional porn, to a degree. and I’m not breaking into your fucking house to stop you from wanking just because I personally don’t like a thing. It’s called personal preferences. one person having negative associations with sex is not a reflection on you personally. Someone saying “I don’t like sex, it disgusts me” is not the same as someone literally saying “you’re disgusting for having sex.” Grow the fuck up.

because not knowing that asexuality was an option caused me years of pain, and being given wrong information and gatekeeping held me back even longer in that prison.

because there are still misconceptions about what it means to be asexual.

because I remember what it was like to be stuck in that dark place, feeling broken and confused and alone because I didn’t quite fit the mold, and I want to help others find themselves sooner.

because despite all of the bullshit thrown at us, embracing my asexuality has made me the happiest I’ve ever been. I love being asexual. I love being me.

because I’ve had numerous people come to me privately inquiring about their own asexuality, just for the sake of confirming it privately, and then vow to never come out publicly because they’ve seen all of the hate and harassment aces get, even from fellow LGBTQ folks, and they couldn’t handle that. and I don’t blame them one little bit. it would be naive to pretend that doesn’t exist. it does, and it’s ugly, and it hurts so much to see. but just remember, there are so many more people who will love and support you.

you don’t have to come out. but just knowing for yourself? is so much better. and there are so many more of us than you’d think and you’re not alone.

#asexuality #actually asexual #ace week #long post #aphobia

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acehotel · 6 years

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The Bushwick Review: Interview with Elle Nash

There’s a particularly delicate yet redolent allure to the “and” found between some of fiction’s greatest love stories. Jules and Jim. Henry and June. In the case of writer Elle Nash’s novel Animals Eat Each Other, it’s Matt and Frankie. Tales of love and loss, instability and stasis, all told through the lens of a 19-year-old narrator adrift in Colorado Springs are what line the pages of Nash’s brutal and endearing debut.

In partnership with The Bushwick Review, an independent literary and art magazine, Nash chats with editor-in-chief Kristen Felicetti about her editorial origin story, the importance of bisexual representation in fiction and how to ignore people who talk about her baby’s socks.

Animals Eat Each Other was published by Dzanc Books last year. The UK edition will be published by 404 Ink in May.

Kristen Felicetti: I’d love to hear how Animals Eat Each Other came together. From the initial idea, to its development, to its publication with Dzanc Books.

Elle Nash: It started off as a short story in one of Rae Gouriand’s six-month writing workshops online. At first, I thought it was a story that could be told in just a few pages, but then I began working one-on-one with Tom Spanbauer as a mentor, and he kept saying, “What about this?” which made me realize how much I was glossing over, and kept prompting me to expand on so much of the story. I think that lasted about two years. The process really taught me how to slow things down. At some point, Michael Seidlinger, who was working with Dzanc at the time, asked if I was working on anything and so I sent him this manuscript, which he loved and which then-editor-in-chief of Dzanc, Guy Intoci, also enjoyed. After a while, they offered to publish it. Feel like I got really lucky with that, as Dzanc has been a great publisher. Michelle Dotter, the current editor-in-chief, is a wonder to work with.

KF: I really like how spare, direct and visceral your prose is in this book. Did that style come pretty immediately to you for this novel, or is this something you refined in its editing?

EN: I think it was definitely refined in editing. Although I worked a lot with Spanbauer as a mentor while I was writing this book, and his style is also minimal in that way (he was a student of Gordon Lish, along with Amy Hempel, etc), towards the end I found myself rewriting entire chapters. I find myself using things like metaphors as almost a shortcut to what I really want to say in a story, and so I tried to find those and expand on them as much as I could.

KF: You recently tweeted “what are your fave books that feature bisexual people” and I saw that in another interview for this book you mentioned wanting to create a book with a bisexual character, because you don’t see bisexual characters that often in fiction or media. I hadn’t really thought about that much, but it’s true. While in real life I know people across the queer spectrum, I can’t think of a lot of bisexual characters in fiction. The other thing I liked about the narrator’s sexuality in the book was that she doesn’t seem to be concerned with attaching any labels to her identity. She’s just driven by her own desires and behavior. She has sex with men (Sam, Matt), she has sex with women (Jenny, Frances), but I don’t think she even once uses words like “bisexual,” “queer,” or “gay.” I’m not sure what my question is here [laughs], I’m just saying you gave me interesting things to think about. Do you want to talk more about any aspect of this?

EN: Yes! And people had a lot of great suggestions — Mean by Myriam Gurba; anything by Kathy Acker; Henry and June by Anais Nin; Salt Fish Girl by Larissa Lai; The Salt Roads by Nalo Hopkinson — I need to read all of these, obviously!

I really just love to see and want to read books about and by people who are outside of this realm of what a traditional relationship looks like, even if there is not a particular label on the character’s sexual identity — and I think the reason for that is because growing up, perhaps, I felt I was exposed to a lot of books that dealt with young adult issues but the particular issues became the entire character’s identity. For example, The Best Little Girl in the World, (or Wasted, even though I love that book), or Cut by Patricia McCormick, Crank by Ellen Hopkins, Smack by Melvin Burgess. These books were all great, but in them, the characters’ lives are consumed by their troubles, it becomes their entire identity, and I really favor work that illustrates the life of a character that, for example, is affected by these kinds of important issues, but also shows how there are other facets to their identity. Being bisexual is not the only thing that I am, there are many facets to a person, and so that seemed important to express in a book, to show a character’s life like that.

KF: In addition to Animals Eat Each Other’s recent release, the magazine you edit, Witch Craft Magazine, also just released its most recent issue. Can you talk a little about the process of putting that issue together? What’s the process of working with your co-founding editor Catch Business, your team of assistant editors and the writers you publish?

EN: Yes! That was a tough issue, mostly because the original release date was on the heels of me giving birth, and so we had to push it back. I had also just moved out of the city that Catch and I lived in together, and so we’ve been doing everything via email, text and Skype. Catch really has kept the sails up while I’ve been less involved because of the baby, and the assistant editors I worked with for issue four (Asha Dore and Gwen Werner) made some excellent selections for non-fiction and fiction this go around. The hardest part is staying on top of email. I just spend less time on the computer these days, and it can be hard to respond to things. I always feel like I should be doing more. In the past, I’ve made the trailers for the issues as well but our art editor Carabella Sands took the lead on that front for issue four and it was great. I’d really love for us to expand and do more but right now it’s just something we have to do slowly.

KF: You recently became a parent. We’re around the same age, and I haven’t decided whether I’ll have a child yet, but I’m pretty nervous over whether I’d have any time left for writing/being creative or even how I’d grapple with the identity of being a mother or being seen as a mother. Obviously I’m not the first female writer to ever have these fears. Did you have any of those same anxieties about being a parent or not? And do you still or is that just not as big of a deal once the moment actually arrives?

EN: I did and do have anxieties over time, but to be honest I have always had anxieties over time — when I had a full time job, I felt the same way, that I wasn’t getting the time I needed to write and that I might die before the work I need to do gets done (I always feel this way!). When I had a part-time job, I was spending a lot of time doing freelance transcription work to make up for my loss in income and so I worried about wasting my time there as well. And with a kid, it is harder because I am currently on her schedule, but I still do find the time to write while I can. She naps, for example, and so I make the best of it. Also knowing that she slowly gets more independent and that the process of her being a baby is a temporary one helps, and that a writing career is a long-term goal, that expands over multiple decades (as long as the existence of a life allows). But I mean, yeah. It is always hard. I like to be alone a lot, at least when I write. I don’t get the uninterrupted five to eight hour stretches of time inside my head anymore, like I could with a day off work, but since her birth, there’s been somewhat of a schedule (which does change a lot), and I’ve been able to polish 20 pages on a new book, write some essays, do interviews, polish a short story… and waste a lot of time on Twitter. I started dictating some of my essays/stories for example when my hands were busy and she just wanted me to hold her or while I was breastfeeding (though I haven’t done that for a while). I think for anyone who does have anxiety about time but WANTS a kid, the best advice I have is to just not stress yourself about it or push yourself to do it if you really can’t. Some days I wake up and I just think, “I can’t do this today” (“this” being all of the responsibilities of being a parent and also the pressures I put on myself to write, etc), and so I won’t write that day. It’s both hard and not hard. Time just keeps moving and the child keeps growing, and I have to be willing to go with the flow of that. If I fight it, it’s too hard.

On the identity of being seen as a mom — sometimes I think, “I’m too butch/dress too XYZ/am too sad/insert identity label to be a mom!” like when I think of how my mom was/dressed/etc, and because I got really hung up on my assumptions of how a mother should be. But, I am also surrounded by a lot of great mothers who are themselves/their identities intact/are full, sexual, beautiful, creative, independent people, and that helps me not be hard on myself. I wondered if my identity would change, and I don’t think it has, really, I just have become less patient for other people’s bullshit and am very strong about enforcing my boundaries now, in a way that I wasn’t before. People in public make comments a lot (like, for example, if the baby is not wearing socks outside, I know someone will say something), and you really have to ignore it. You just have to become really all about yourself and the kid and fuck what other people say about how you should parent. It’s just not their life. That’s become extremely apparent.

KF: What are some things that inspired Animals Eat Each Other or other recent work of yours? It can be other books, but also films, music, people, things in nature, anything.

EN: So many things! I think the biggest inspiration I drew from was Tom Spanbauer’s book I Loved You More, which is a masterpiece about three people who love each other and how hurt/heartbreak rippled through them. It’s an important book about relationships. I listened to a ton of The Weeknd while writing the first draft of the book, I think because it is easy to listen to his music on repeat a lot and is very melodic, and also listened to a lot of Lund. The film Manchester by the Sea inspired me, as well, because in the Amazon reviews so many people hated the movie because it felt unresolved and depressing to them, and I love that kind of work. I read a lot of things that inspired me also — Mila Jaroniec’s Plastic Vodka Bottle Sleepover; Elizabeth Ellen’s Person/a; Juliet Escoria’s Witch Hunt; Something To Do With Self-Hate by Brian Alan Ellis; and Waves by Lucy K Shaw.

#interview #ace hotel new york #the bushwick review #elle nash #book #animals eat each other #ace nyc #ace new york #ace hotel #yes

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floggingink · 6 years

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Riverdale, “Chapter Forty-Seven: Bizarrodale”

Jughead eats: QUICK SHOT OF BRUNCH

the print on Josie’s bomber jacket? confounding

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.”

Ms. McCoy in bright blue? confounding

have Moose’s eyebrows gotten thicker? he...he fine

Cheryl’s sheaths: like a true gay icon, Cheryl wears both a satiny demi-cup bustier and a flannel in bed with Toni, who’s rocking a sort of cottony Aerie bralette

Hermione’s earrings look like divining rods, which makes sense

“dangerously unhinged,” in this day and age? UNHINGED?

Cheryl is “legacy” in Riverdale’s version of Smith College

Cheryl’s pins: in her droopy 1920’s lady-reporter tie, Cheryl has a pin that is probably a bee but is POSSIBLY a giant frightening moth like in the Silence of the Lambs poster

Moose’s hair is longer or something and he’s like? I don’t know but I’m a gay boy all of a sudden, like let me at All That

I like how he pauses but goes in for more kisses after Kevin tells him he wants to ask him something

he’s like…..so tall….and he has this a little mole on his cheek….

(RIP Midge)

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: you look me in my pale astigmatic eyes and tell me the little snitch canary “told you they were in here sir” smug Malfoy stool pigeon ISN’T a pillow queen and I’ll give you this money RIGHT NOW. THAT thin-lipped smirk? with THAT cleft chin? he’s a gay, your honor

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: oh fuck!!!! Sweet Pea has a VERY vulnerable, soft-masculinity speech about his heartspace and emotional boundaries and he’s so fluffy-haired and trying to be gentle with himself……….SWEET PEA……..

Best costume bit: don’t miss the two-second shot of a Prostitute in a turquoise pencil skirt and red velvet blazer and pearls AND GLASSES leading a man by the tie down the Maple Club hallway

“Damn good coffee”: also this jazz music and Cheryl’s short pantsuit

WHERE CAN I GET CHERYL’S MINI BACKPACK

The Blossom spawn: I know Penelope Blossom is not out here suggesting there are no lesbians in what I assume is a women’s college. I remember when I got into My Women’s College one of the nuns at my church was like, Ha ha! Don’t let the drug-dealing lesbians get you! and I was like, How do you already know the plot of Riverdale season 3? but then I was also like, Ma’am why did you join this monastery?

Fifth period is AP English: “THIS IS THE PRICE OF SALT.”

Lawyer McCoy is right, Ex-Sheriff Keller IS a snack and this bitch’s blood sugar is low

I love Sierra and Whatsit playing Lawyers in bed because it happens to be my thing too and I want to be there with them

Certified pedigree: his name’s Tom right? he’s SO HANDSOME. everyone is so handsome right now!!!!!!! (I’m ovulating)

this is the same fancy hotel room Jughead and Betty stayed in when he sort of proposed to her? this is just the upscale version of the sex bunker

Kevin eats when he’s stressed, as you will recall from the drive-in S1 episode

“an epaulette to cry on”

Cheryl’s hair: and Cheryl’s sleeves!!!!!!!

Sixth period is Intro to Film: “looking like a community theater production of The Talented Mr. Ripley” is the SECOND time handsome bicurious Tom Ripley has been name-dropped (also the drive-in S1 episode)

“I can’t go back to Fox Forest” is like the most tragic thing. HE CAN’T GO CRUISING AGAIN

“Oh, sullen, tenderhearted Kevin.”

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: “RAPTUROUS”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like that Cheryl continues to use words like “whilst” and “amongst”

is Moose wearing a denim Henley? MOOSE?

the closed captioning renders it “O shutterbug of my dreams.” “O,” LIKE CHERYL IS SHAKESPEARE

I absolutely buy that Cheryl would ask if this was their first fight mid-fight

only Toni among us could wear that many necklaces at once

I did get a little confused when Toni confronts Cheryl in the bathroom, like at first it was about how you shouldn’t out people but then it was about her not being in the Serpents? let’s focus, ladies

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie’s commitment to keeping her eyeshadow coordinated with her jackets over her commitment to boys is aspirational

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: I LOVE ARCHIE’S SIDE-EYE, LIKE………“SWEET PEA?”

Reggie on kneecapping: “Does that really happen?”

Reggie’s voice cracks me up. he’s just a big gorgeous squeezable side hustle dummy bro, so down for the ride, remember when he slugged Jughead? neither does he

REGGIE HONESTLY HONEST-TO-GOD IS JUST LIKE….RONNIE YO YOU NEED SOME MONEY?

“You can be my Baby Driver” uuuuuugggghghhhhhkkhhhhhhhhh REggggeieiee

“JUST PLEASE DON’T SCRATCH MY CAR” has more sexual energy than I think Archie has ever manufactured with anyone EXCEPT BETTY when they kissed that one time you know?????

why do you think Reggie is such a good doofus boyfriend while Archie was such a bad doofus boyfriend? is it because Archie tried to think for himself? or has Reggie just not been given the chance to fuck something up yet

I like Penelope bringing up Sierra and Tom getting married not to shade them but to just be like, They should be happy if they want. I was like, Damn, Penelope! You’re right!

“He is a vicious and petty god.”

lol oh yeah Hiram got shot

Gay?!: as has been discussed, Veronica is reading some classic lesbian pulp fiction for no other reason than I suppose she fucking likes it, and that is BDE

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica would wear those shoes to baby drive

SOMEONE TAKE ME ON A “MAD SAPPHIC CAPER”

Archie > Dawson: Archie is a hot-or-cold boyfriend but he is an EXCELLENT beard!!!! GOOD, ARCHIE

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Reggie takes the same positive attitude towards getting shot and surviving that I hope I would have, which is “at least I can say I got shot”

Moose is like, out and THEREFORE dtf, as if they couldn’t have secretly been having sex this whole time

Toni conceded to Highsmith’s business formal dress code insofar as she wears a black vest over a plaid tie and that’s it

“WHOEVER YOU ARE, PLEASE BE CHILL.”

Veronica’s blue plaid coat SHOCKS me

Veronica was rich: Gladys admires Veronica and Reggie’s gumption showing up with only half the money

is it a coat or is it a miniskirt with a matching jacket?????

God bless jingle-jangle Moose: Moose is so excited that he just absolutely tells Cheryl he’s finally going to have sex. I know the show needs him to say it so Cheryl can tell him to BYOS, but it’s still cute of him, himself. is Moose kind of precious?

remember when Moose got gunned down in that car? Christ

HE BROUGHT A LITTLE RED CANDLE!!!!!

I love when people take off their whole belt, as if you can’t just undo it and still take your jeans off

dope deer skull! plus: everyone’s fucking

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: I’ve lost track a little bit of whether or not Alice KNOWS Betty and Jughead are literally/colloquially sleeping together in Betty’s bedroom, or are they taking advantage of her being gone?

The female gaze: Reggie’s chest is the new Archie’s chest

“NIGHT HAG”

“KEEP YOUR BOW CLOSE.”

Moose is MASSIVE like, do you see those arms?

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: HIS BEAUTIFUL FLIPPY HAIR ON THE PILLOW

Dilton Doiley Ethel Muggs The Gargoyle Children: the RROTC guy is Chris Cooper in American Beauty???

Gay.: Sierra was halfway right about “the jealousy thing”

even FP, conducting his interview in his flannel, is like, bruh

These students are legally children: his “Man, the Sisters did a number on you” feels like Riverdale’s version of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s “The Catholics really fucked you up”

Jughead doubts it: Jughead makes a good point. is there one costumes everyone keeps using or is it that easy to DIY your own Gargoyle King?

“UR-KING,” JUGHEAD, PLEASE

oh I can see Jughead about to be disillusioned by his family coming a mile away

Archie’s soft soft sweater? confounding

at least Moose isn’t moving to Toledo, am I right

CHERYL’S SLEEVES?????????

What damn high school in America: Cheryl’s girl gang is 100% Teddy girls and I love them

THE WHITE STRIPE ON REGGIE’S SWEATER and the little black birds on Veronica’s shirt!

Gladys & JB are already a more powerful duo than FP & Jughead could ever hope to be

ARCHIE ASKS HER IF HE COULD KISS HER. THAT’S VERY SEXY OF YOU, ARCHIE. GOOD, ARCHIE

wait Moose is moving to Glendale? SABRINA-GLENDALE? MOOSE WAIT A SECOND?

NEXT WEEK: Gladys tells Veronica to pray, OH BOY

#riverdale #commentary #tropes #i say

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #189

“why are the children all marching into the desert to die?”

What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? Pretty sure mine was usually just a plastic orange pumpkin. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 23, wow-ie. What are your plans to celebrate? Dinner with the fam, and I don't think I could possibly pass a birthday without getting a tattoo. :') Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? Don't watch it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? Yes. Were you a straight A student in math? No, I got Bs sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I know people who were. What is the name of your favorite coffee shop in your town? N/A What is fall weather usually like where you live? Usually warmish and breezy, but sometimes super cold. Do you think you have an accent? Very slightly. Do you use plastic, wooden, or wire hangers? Plastic. What is your favorite shade of yellow? Pastel. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? No. Are you afraid of getting yelled at? YES YES YES YES I WILL CRY PLEASE DON'T Who has the best-decorated house in your town? *shrugs* What is your favorite part of Halloween? Dressing up. Is there a cemetery in your backyard? No. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? No. ;_; What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? If I actually wanted them, take them on a hay ride (spooky one if they're older and want to), decorate pumpkins together, obviously go trick-or-treating, let 'em play in leaf piles. Have you ever seen a fox? Yes. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? Um no. What do the trees look like where you live? There's basically a shitload of pine trees, some dogwoods in spring (which fucking stink, btw), and then there's other trees idk the name of. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? YESSSSSSSSSSSS Do you find museums boring or interesting? Interesting! What was your school’s rival team’s mascot? Uhhhhh idr. What are three issues you are passionate about? Gay rights, gun control, and immigration. Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? I mean if I had to? What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Klonopin, back when I had to take two a day. I was just barely able to function at all on three. Do you like bath bombs? Never used one, but sure. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Pussycat Dolls lmaoooooooo Do you like Disney movies? Only heathens don't. In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? A house. What do you occupy your time with on flights? Listen to my iPod. Do you ever realize how ridiculous you’re being yet continue on anyway? Sometimes in anxiety-type situations. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden?  Spicy shrimp fritas oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaah How do you like your steak cooked?  Medium well. How do you feel about bats? I'm love them. Is anyone in your family artistic? Me. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No. Are you emo/gothic/punk? I AM the Thicc Goth GF in my head. I'm just too poor and lazy for the wardrobe. :^) Would you date someone 20 years older than you? Nooooooooooo that's way too big a difference for me. What is your father’s middle name? John. What was the last food you got a random craving for? Sour gummy worms lmao. What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at? Singing, sometimes. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, peaches, corn, cucumbers, green beans, bananas... What is your favorite Studio Ghibli film? Don't think I've watched any. If your best friend was a fictional character, who would he/she be? Why? This requires too much thinking. What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? Ninja Sex Party's cover of "Africa" is on now. No. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? Chocolate. When was the last time you complimented a stranger? Idk. Do you know how to text without looking? Not well. What about typing without looking? Yup. Have you ever thrown rocks at a girl/guy’s window? No. When was the last time you bought a bathing suit? Like, a year back? Do you like eggnog? NOOOOOOOOOOO. How often do you see your mother? Every day. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Long time ago. When you were little, did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney. When is the last time that you experienced rejection–literal or imagined? By no means /serious/ rejection, but I suppose it fits the definition. Asked the tat/piercing parlor I go to about working there at the desk (the place isn't busy and I'm v comfortable there, so I think I easily could), but they let me know they currently didn't need anyone. When you are feeling down are you more likely to cheer yourself up by shopping, eating, or drinking? I've gotten loads better about it, but eating. Do you think there will be a time when our current age of rapid innovation comes to a standstill? What do you think is the limit of human technological advancement? No, honestly. It may stall, but I don't see it stopping any time soon. In hindsight, what was the most misguided/unhelpful assignment you had to do in school or college? Uhhhh idk. On any blogs or social media you may have, do you try to maintain a certain aesthetic or persona? Is this consistent across platforms or just specific to one? Not really. My less-appropriate sense of humor comes out more on Tumblr, and in some areas I type in all lowercase because I find it more aesthetically pleasing. Is there an artist or celebrity whom you admire for their craft but take issue with their personality or politics? Marilyn Manson, very easily. He's talented and unapologetically unique as all hell, but I do noooot like him as a person from what I know. What is the last party or event you were invited to but declined? Why? Are there certain events that you might be invited to which you are likely to decline? An old friend's Thanksgiving-ish friends party. I was tempted, but it was explicitly stated to BYOB and weed and I just didn't want to be in an environment where there was lots of drinking and smoking something that's still illegal in the state. I was already uncomfortable enough last time I went to a party at her house and there was so much smoking. You were also supposed to bring a piece of Thanksgiving food to contribute, but I can't cook and I didn't wanna bother Mom about it. For the last question, it's just about a "never" situation where I'm invited to a real event besides family birthday parties or meet-ups with Dad and his wife. Off the top of my head, I'd never go to a club if I was invited. Imagine your life three years from now as if things have gone perfectly, better than you would typically predict. What do you see? Living with a happy Sara in the mountains, very successful in photography and thus financially stable (or hopefully a bit beyond that), excelling in school, back to my healthy weight, my mental health is great and I'm on way fewer meds, Sara's able to breed snakes and write as a real career, COVER ME IN TATS BITCH, more piercings, a treatment/medication for hypotonia has been discovered, my niece and nephew have met Sara and been taught our relationship is not wrong (I doubt it though :x), I'm happy, it'd be nice to write with more people, I have at least one poem published, Teddy, Venus, Kaiju, Roman, Mitsu (now totally comfortable being held), and Sara's babies are still alive and kickin', Venus and Crowley have had a clutch, Sara's PMDD is under control, Dad's stopped smoking, Mom is in a healthy, fulfilling relationship, both Mom and Sara are at the weights they aim for, Nicole is with a guy she truly loves and he reciprocates properly, Mom has been treated for depression and has forgiven Dad... Man, lots of things. This question really made me look forward to creating this future. What about your personality makes you good at your job? Alternatively, why do you find yourself uniquely suited for or drawn to your ideal career path? No job, so I'll just respond to the second. Photography is pretty surprising as it requires serious communication, which y'all know isn't my forte in the least. However, I'm so passionate about it and feel knowledgeable enough on it to be confident. Plus I just love showing how beautiful the world is capable of being. Do you find it valuable or important to respect those in positions of authority simply because of their position? Does this vary based on what that position is? Nope. I'm not gonna respect an absolute asshole just because you're of a high position. It doesn't vary to me, either. Do you find that you often desire and/or enjoy sex? If not, why not and how do you negotiate those feelings with your partner? If so, what is it that you enjoy about it in particular? I'd say I desire it to a normal degree, and yeah, I enjoy it. Why, #1, it's such a passionate and intimate way to communicate how much you love and trust your partner. Then I mean it feels good so. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Idk. Seriously... three? When was the last time you were a passenger in a car and sat in the back? In the back, idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yes. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? Yes, flute. What is the best thing you’ve ever bought at a thrift shop? This cool crashed ship lamp! It's beside my bed. Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar? No. What is your favorite thing about summer? Swimming. That's it. When was the last time you went to your local library? Whew, years. Can you do a proper cartwheel? No. Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport? No. Are you a fast-thinker or a slow-thinker? Slow. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention or The Trevor Project. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Magic: The Gathering and not since my PS3 broke (I had the Duel of the Planeswalkers store game on there and I WANT IT BACK). Who was the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Did you ever go to summer camp when you were younger? No. What is your favorite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times) Gingerbread men!! Are there any television shows you own in entirety on DVD or VHS? Meerkat Manor. How far away from your house is the nearest gas station? Like, two minutes. Do you know anyone who is fluent in a second-tongue? Yeah. What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen and who did you watch it with? The Rite, but only because the whole "raped and impregnated by a demon" shtick is a fuck to the no from me. Watched it with my younger sis years ago. When was the last time you had a bubble bath? A looooooooong time ago, I don't like baths. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Poop. Good job, Bentley. What did you buy the last time you went shopping for new clothes? A bra, I think? How did you discover your favorite band? Mom's CDs. When I was getting into my rock and metal love, I went through them and listened to albums with cool covers or bands I knew she loved, and the first happened to be Ozzy. :') Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? Yes. I have a greater tendency to feel down when it's real cloudy and sometimes rainy. If it's really hot, I'm in a worse/cranky mood. When are you most likely to be bored? Late afternoon/evening. What was the last big decision you made? Hmmm. Going back to school, maybe? Where was the last place you traveled to, and what did you do while there? Illinois. Hang out with my bby. :') What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? Clothes at Hot Topic ahhhhh. What was the last thing you received in the mail? Something for VR. What is one of your wildest dreams or ambitions? Become a well-known photographer. When was the last time you performed in front of a group of people? Years ago for dance. Who was the last person to upset you? How about the last person to cheer you up? Mom; Sara. Is there anything or anyone you’re trying to get over or let go of? No. What was the subject of your last phone conversation? Uhhh something short with Ma that I don't remember. How close do you have to be with someone before you’ll consider them a friend? I have to feel decently comfortable around them. How do you feel when a mostly unheard of band (or tv show, movie, etc.) that you love suddenly starts to gain popularity? I'm happy for them! I just hope they don't change. When was the last time you listened to new music? Uhhh recently. Do you think it is strange when a couple says “we are pregnant” rather than “I am pregnant” or “my girlfriend is pregnant”? No, I actually prefer it. You're in that shit together. Do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong era? What decade would you most like to have grown up in? No. I'm good with the '90s. What was your most memorable concert experience? Only been to one. :| But Alice was great. If you have any, are you close with your sibling(s)? Has it always been that way? Not very, and no, at least with my younger sister. We were pretty close. Do you require “closure” after things like break-ups or do you move on easily? I. Need. Closure. How long does it take for someone to earn your trust? Good luck. Do you like peanut butter? Yesssss. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? Do/did you prefer wearing it than regular clothes? In middle school. Hell no. What’s the last thing you got really excited over? Going to Sara's. Is there a genre of movie that you just can’t watch? Action-y. What was the last song to give you nostalgia? "Holiday" by Green Day. Do you have a certain color grape you like the most? Purple. What’s your signature thing you do when drinking that will make your friends say, “Alright, they’re drunk”? N/A Have you ever been on a hot air balloon? No. What’s your definition of weird? I try to keep the mindset that "weird" doesn't exist as I'm not one to talk about things being so, yet I'm hypocritical about it and do find some things, ex. fetishes, extremely weird. Do you use shaving cream? For my legs. When was the last time you cleaned your room? Is your room clean? I dusted my whole room a while back. I need to vacuum baaadly, but ours is broken. ;-; Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Yes. Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide? Sadly. Have you ever tried to commit suicide? Yes. Have you ever coughed up blood? No. How do you wish you could die? Surrounded by family and painless. Do you have any apps on your Facebook? If so, what? No. What kind of mouse pad do you have? Don't have one. What color is your mouse? Pink. Do you know any who might be anorexic? Do you know anyone who has bulimia? Maybe? Did you ever want a pony when you were little? Idr. What’s your favorite dessert food? Ice cream. What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My dog. Do you exercise? I'm starting to again. Do you dislike writing school essays? Not if it's a subject I like. Are you a very open-minded person? Yes. Are you modest? I believe I am. Do you skate? No. Are you in a band? No. If you were to make it big with your own band, what would its name be? *shrugs* It depends on the members. Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I go over there. Have you ever had rabies? No. Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? Idk. Have you ever gone hunting? No, never would. Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No. Have you ever received a note in your locker? I think once from Aaron?

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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rachello344 · 6 years

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I’m going to tell you all a story. I don’t really know who all will see this, but I think it’s important for me to make my position and my history clear, so I’m going to write it out anyway. This will probably have some level of TMI, so your mileage may vary, but I don’t want to censor myself for this. Includes frank discussions of sexuality, sex ed, etc. so it’s relatively NSFW. Nothing especially graphic, but again, ymmv

This is... much longer than I meant it to be, so tl;dr: Fiction is meant to be a place to explore. Being afraid of sexuality or intimidated by it is normal, but trying to control the people around you because of that is not. The only person whose sexuality is your business is your own, and potentially your partner(s)’. Policing the sexuality of other people will not give you anything more than the illusion of control. Illusions, however nice, don’t generally last long. Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself.

I started reading fanfiction when I was 12 or 13, which I think is about the average. Everyone around me was starting to talk about dating and the like, and I wanted to figure out what they were talking about without asking anyone I knew. As an avid reader, the only way I knew how to get contextualized information was through stories. So I did what I think a lot of kids online inevitably do: I looked up stories about sex and romance. The site I was using at the time was DeviantART.

Any of you who have used the site are probably recoiling right now, as you should be. I have seen so many terrible things written in fiction from such a young age that a lot of the stuff people complain about here seem legitimately tame. But that’s not the point. The point is, I was a curious kid looking for answers, and I turned to stories to find them.

I started with original fiction. Imagine that. A 13 year old girl online reading effectively hentai-style fiction about OCs she had no connection with. I learned about my body through badly written dA hentai fic. I figured out things that felt good. I experimented quietly when my family left for my brother’s baseball games. And then, at some point, I found my first fanfiction.

I’d technically written fanfiction of Sonic characters when I was 8 or 9, but they were all just fairy tales with Sonic and Amy as the leads. I didn’t start with Sonic fanfiction, though. No, the first fanfiction I remember reading was Naruto. It was a badwrong Uchiha-cest fic. I was probably 13 at this point. I’d never watched Naruto, but I absolutely knew that those characters were related. Morbidly curious, reluctantly fascinated, I read the fic.

It was short, but it was definitely hot, to my 13 year old standards. I mean, most things were. I was 13. I didn’t exactly have standards. And then I realized: If this exists, shouldn’t there be stories with characters I actually know? Granted, I still read SasuNaruSasu fic because it was SO easy to find--I preferred Naruto topping at the time, but now I’d go back and forth, I think, I just hated the characterization of bottom!Naruto--but I also discovered slash for things I actually knew. Sonadow was a revelation.

It does not escape me that I got my start in fanfiction reading incest and furry porn, btw. I mentioned earlier that I was curious, and that was my driving force. I wanted to see where the limits were. I would read anything. And then once I figured out the tags, I could look for the things I liked and avoid the things I didn’t. I didn’t much care for a lot of things where romance was concerned, but for a PWP those limits evaporated like rain in the desert. And through this process, I developed standards. Things I will read, things I won’t, writing styles I prefer, things that I won’t read no matter how well written, writing unskilled enough that I wouldn’t touch it regardless of the kink depicted. And on and on and on.

I feel like it bears mentioning that the demographic of my junior high and high school was predominantly Mormon and Fundamentalist. Not all, but a significant number. We were mostly white, mostly well-off. I was in as much of a bubble as I could be. But that meant that until my friends started coming out in high school, I didn’t know any queer people IRL. I had one friend, Avery, who told me she was Bi in eighth grade, but until about tenth grade, she was the only one who’d told me.

Our sex ed was abstinence only. Heteronormative and absolutely the kind of thing that we all speak out against. There were no websites that I could find with reliable info. I was using google image searches to figure out what genitalia looked like, and I wish I were kidding. All I’d ever seen was stuff with diseases and sores. I was told that a girl who has a lot of sex is like an old pair of gym shoes. I was told that boys will be boys. I was not told that boys could love boys or girls could love girls. I was told “Just say no,” instead of any kind of way to tell when it was safe for me to say Yes.

Luckily I wasn’t interested in sex for me, personally. I was interested in it intellectually. I wanted to know how it worked, why people chose to do it, what it might feel like, what kinds of sex you could have. I was arming myself with knowledge in case I ever needed it.

When I was 15, I stumbled on a kinkster’s blog. She was a writer, and she specialized in BDSM practices and culture, specifically in explaining it to the uninitiated. I was too young to be there, but the information I got was invaluable. Again, scarleteen might have existed? But I’d certainly never found it. This was the first time I saw someone talking about consent, about condoms and dental dams, about safe words.

It was life changing. I read her blog avidly. I spent about three weeks there, researching BDSM. When I found something that seemed interesting, I’d return to deviantART to see if I could find it in story form. I’d google terms I wasn’t familiar with or cross check online. I googled so many things that it’s lucky that my parents let me have my own computer (an old desktop from my dad’s boss). It’s even luckier that my parents generally let me have free reign.

When I was 17, I found the word Asexual. It was the best word I’d seen for how I was feeling. Sex positive asexual. “It would be fine if it happened, but chastity isn’t exactly a punishment.” I could make do on my own without much trouble, and I didn’t really like any boys. Not like that. (Whether or not I ever liked girls, I’m still trying to puzzle out.)

What I’m trying to say is that my best online experiences were via kinksters. Fic at the time did NOT go into safer sex details. They were either implied, glossed over, or outright ignored. Fantasy doesn’t need to jive with reality, so it’s hardly wrong of them to ignore it. But that information was truly incredible to me.

And I know I’m an odd case. Someone who’d never felt sexual attraction to her knowledge researching every kind of sex under the sun sounds strange, I know. But I’ve always been a researcher. When I come across something I don’t understand, I look it up.

I guess, the point I was trying to make is that... for me, without all the “bad” erotica and porn, without kinksters, without slash ships, I never would have figured things out for myself. I had no sexual education to speak of, no context for anything I did no, no one to talk to, and I definitely didn’t have any queer role models or examples in media or in my real life. The first time I met a lesbian was when I was 13; she was my gym teacher. And she was the absolute first queer person I ever knew about. And until college, I’d never met another queer adult that I knew of. Never.

We had a gay straight alliance in high school, but I didn’t want to get involved. The cultural climate wasn’t outright homophobic, but I’d learned to keep my head down for being “too much” a feminist. Like hell was I going to put a target on my back. I doubt I would have been bullied--no one had come after me yet--but I didn’t really want to tempt fate either. I stood up for the people around me, and I called it good.

When I hear people say “Kink is unhealthy and glorifies abuse” I think back on my sex ed, on learning that women who sleep around are dirty. I think about the first time I ever even heard about consent being on a blog about a woman who loved BDSM. When I hear people say “X fic trope condones Y behavior” I think back on the absolute sewage that I was reading as a young teen. It’s safe to say that I’ve read just about every kink there is. I read vore on accident by the time I was 15. And I didn’t even remember it until I had a visceral flashback to it about a year ago when the jokes first started getting popular. And despite all of the abuse and rape and badwrong incestuous fic that I’ve read, never once have I knowingly harmed another person. And that makes the arguments feel a little odd. Like “violent video games make teens more violent,” the argument that violent erotica and porn makes teens more violent is absurd.

So, for those of you still reading, if you promote anti-shipping or kink critical anything, I think you should look at it a little more closely. Do some more reading on the other side, within your limits. Do your own research and figure out where you stand. I know that sex can be intimidating and scary, especially when you’re young, but something can be scary without being harmful. Only you know your limits, but there are plenty of places to do research that have reliable information. I’d be happy to help you find them. For general sex ed, scarleteen is definitely my go-to.

Policing other people’s sexualities is not the way to make things feel safe again. I know it seems like a suitable answer, and it makes you feel like you have power and safety, but think about how you feel when people tell you what you are and aren’t allowed to like or do or feel. Think about how you feel when people accuse you of all kinds of things simply because your views are different. That’s what anti-culture is doing. And just because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean you have the right to tell them how to feel or how to think. Because that opens the door to them returning the favor.

“But incest--” “But CGL--” “But--” No. It doesn’t matter. If you know it isn’t for you, then avoid it. That’s the end of it. Do I think some things are weird or even kinda gross? Sure. But that doesn’t mean no one is allowed to like those things. If that was the case, no one would be allowed to write fic where people have sex in a kitchen or otherwise involve food in the process. That squicks me out, but that doesn’t mean people don’t want to get off to it. I avoid the tag and move on. Don’t waste your time on things you don’t like. Period.

Life is too short to waste your time on things that turn you off. That’s time better spent finding the things that turn you on. And hey, tastes change. Maybe someday I’ll decide I want to read people having sticky food sex (doubtful). Maybe someday I’ll decide that I cannot read another tentacle fic ever again (unlikely). I won’t know until that day does (or doesn’t) come. But I’m not gonna waste energy worrying about what other people think about my fantasies. They’re no one’s business but my own, and theoretically a future sex partner should I find one.

Fiction is for exploration, so explore! Find ways to keep yourself safe. Figure out what you need to avoid, and how to do it. Find the things you want to read and read them. Consume the media you want to consume. And if anyone bullies you for it or tries to make you feel bad, you block their ass on sight. They don’t deserve even a second more of your time.

#personal #rachel writes #if anyone wants to talk about this I'd be fine with that #but if you want to come over and shame me for how I figured myself out you can show yourself out #it just really burns me up seeing kink critical people coming after people for doing things they enjoy #the sex and fantasy lives of other people are none of your business #i'm not gonna go into the gray areas here because I'm not a lawyer and I don't want to get into it on what amounts to a vent post #so i'll leave off with 'don't break just laws' and call it good #above all else be kind #tbh i might delete this at some point but right now i'm feeling brave #mostly because i'm annoyed about purity culture tbh #deviantart was a dumpster fire but damn if i had a shame free place to figure out what things were #people on this hellsite are so uptight i feel like i'm back in high school #it's the Worst #I just wanna like my weird shit in peace

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ravennest1342-blog · 6 years

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BTS Fanfic Recommendations

Ok, so I don’t know if it’s considered weird to hype up other people when you write fan fiction and basically turn the attention away from yourself but IDK because I’ve been dying to share all my favorite fanfics with you guys! I hope you enjoy this, most (if not all) of these will be on AO3! A few will be from here, here being Tumblr. I’m such a dork, omg don’t look at me! But read! Read these beauties and leave me be!!!!! 😂Also, I’ll be putting warnings beside the ones that have smut/BDSM/or anything else that’s weird. A lot of these will have smut because for a long time I was really insecure about writing smut so I tended to read books that advertised it in order to know what the hell I was actually writing.

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The Songbird and the Sea

Author — MissterMaia (follow her on Twitter she’s actually hilarious and I love her)

Pairing — Yoonmin, with side Namjin and Taekook.

Rating— Mature (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly. But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.

My thoughts — omg, where do I begin? God this book was so beautiful. The character development! The plot! The ROMANCE! AH! It was such a perfect work of art! I never felt bored like at all and normally I get bored pretty easy on long chaptered books like this! She’s also getting the book published! (With different character names obviously and it’s like super edited.) I don’t know what else to say other than GO READ THIS!!! SHE IS THE QUEEN OF YOONMIN!! YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED!!!

Hidden Omega

Author — LadyPrussia

Pairing — Namjoon Centric

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — At 21 Namjoon still hasn't presented leaving him as a dud, with the BTS pack having their own issues and not treating him like a real member a tragic event forces Namjoon's body to present as an omega. Is it really too late for BTS to win Namjoon's heart? Or will one of the 4 other packs steal it instead? Or maybe a darkhorse will appear.

My Thoughts — this book is great! Not only is it super long (over eighty chapters) and still being updated, but the character development is super refreshing. Forewarning though, the author has said that there is a good chance Namjoon won’t end up in the Bangtan Pack but a different one, and originally that made me upset, but with the way she painted the story I actually don’t care what Pack he ends up with; their all beautiful and it’s an amazing book! Lots of drama and angst for you angst lovers out there!

No Spell can Cure Shyness

Author — MissterMaia (seriously — I love her)

Pairing — Yoonmin, mentioned Namjin, Side Taekook

Rating — teens and up

Description — Yoongi really doesn’t expect the witchboy who sent him an accidental text to be the prettiest boy he's ever seen in all his life. Or the nicest. Or the kindest. Or just the best in every possible way. Painfully shy and (un)smooth as he is, Yoongi decides the best way to approach this Jimin person is in the form of a cat. A cat who can't talk. Great plan, Yoongi.

My Thoughts — The FLUFF!!! I can’t even begin to describe how much I love this book! All of this woman’s works are masterpieces that need to be appreciated! Yoongi is so shy it’s hilarious and he has the most extra reactions to like everything — and and I LOVE!!! YOU need to read it! Stop whatever your doing and go read it!

Saltation

Author — momora

Pairing — Yoonmin, side Taekook, and Namjin

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description — Jimin had grown up watching his mother sort the point-oh-one percent beta defaults into the alpha-omega communities, but that doesn't make being a part of the statistic much easier. He'd be doing okay at this new omega thing if that watchful alpha Min Yoongi could stay out of the situation. He just wants to settle into his new life and finish his useless degree already. Instead, all hell breaks loose.

My Thoughts — This book is the one of the best a/b/o fics I have ever read in my entire life! Alpha’s and Omega’s live separate from Beta’s due to different instincts and Jimin was born in the beta community but presented as an omega. And it’s really funny because He keeps slipping up and doing/saying things that leave everyone else kind of like (0.0) The writing is fantastic! The characters are absolutely riveting as is the plot and the AUTHOR KEEPS TEADING ME ON TWITTER ABOUT HER NEXT UPDATE AND HOLY HELL IM BREAKING DOWN OVER HERE!!!

Jammed

Author — minverse

Pairing — Vmin, side Yoonseok, maybe Namjin?

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully)

Description —The rational part of Jimin's brain screams at him to remember what his mother said about strangers and vans. But the rational part of his brain is no match for really bad whiskey and Kim Taehyung. ((au where Jimin gets stuck on the interstate in the middle of a blizzard and Taehyung lives in a van))

My Thoughts — this book! *wheezes from laughter* is so funny! Jimin is trying to make it to Yoongi and Hoseok’s wedding (which he is kind of dreading because Hoseok is trying to set him up with his own best man) and he gets stuck in a blizzard and boom there’s Taehyung! A renowned author that decided to live in his van and travel the world while writing his new book. This book was so funny you guys! I was dying, there was a smut scene and it was pretty great. The whole book was phenomenal and I loved it so much. Because I have literally no self control I’m gonna add a sneak peak.

NU ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin

Author — decompositionbooks

Pairing — Jikook

Rating — explicit (there’s smut in this so tread carefully.)

Description — The world didn't think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin's handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.

My Thoughts — this book was so good! Omega’s are really rare and Jimin is so against the stereotypes put on omega’s and he is CONVINCED that Jungkook thinks of him as a tiny child that needs protection and he’s such a little ball of rage and god it’s so funny and he’s so sarcastic and furious that he’s being forced into this cutesy image (that he refuses to admit he likes) and it’s so cute and hilarious.

In Your Eyes

Author — TrappingLighteningBugs

Pairing — Jikook

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut and light dim/sub in this so tread carefully)

Description — On nights where everything seems against him, Jimin wishes he could take Jungkook down a few pegs.

My Thoughts — I originally read this because I was trying to expand my view on what a dom!Jimin would look like for my Bunny Breath book but I actually really liked this a lot. The characterization was good, it wasn’t like most smut oneshots where the characters go at with like literally no push and seems to be mildly dubious consent. This was well thought out and I enjoyed reading it.

A Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Author — blimpish

Pairing — Junghope

Rating — Explicit (there’s smut so tread carefully)

Description — When Jeongguk decides it's time to live out his fantasy of being knotted, he determines that Hoseok is the best (read: least awful) candidate for the job.

My Thoughts — I read this book because I’m a hoe for Junghope. But it’s really good! I remember feeling mildly dubious about it until I got to this really funny scene when Jungkook (a beta) asks Jimin (an omega)if he knows any alpha’s that wouldn’t be weirded out bu having sex with a beta and Jimin’s just like “I know three but your not gonna like it.” And after that it’s a hilarious conversation of them deciding which of their friends would be the least cringe worthy for Jungkook to sleep with. Jimin admits that Hoseok is great and it goes from there. BUT THERE IS A PLOT LINE!!! ITS NOT JUST SMUT!!

Unfamiliars

Author— themarmalade

Pairing — Yoonseok (my library is mostly Yoonseok.)

Rating — Mature (I can’t remember if there’s smut and it’s a long book so I don’t want to go read through all of it. Fuck I totally will but that’s beside the point. Read the tags when you click on the link.)

Description — Hoseok rescues a kitty in a summer storm. Thanks to some weird magic, Yoongi is that kitty. In a tiny apartment full of plants and moonlight, a simple, aching happiness blooms. But with what Jungkook knows, how long can the happiness last?

My Thoughts — this is so cute! Yoongi is just minding his own business when he accidentally steps into a warlocks spell pentagram and gets turned into a cat by Jin, he positively freaks the fuck out runs away, gets picked up by Hobi and things go from there. It’s so cute and soft and ima go read it BYE!!!!

Bad at Love

Author — shooky__bear

Pairing — Yoonseok with side Namjin.

Rating — Explicit (there is smut and definite don/sub so tread carefully.)

Description —Yoongi was pretty sure he was straight. Pretty sure (And not remotely interested in love or Jung Hoseok.) Alternatively ; that fic where yoon thinks he's straight and he's a bit of a slut and keeps fucking girls tho he likes hoseok and seoks a Patient Loving Gay who waits and Supports yoon through his Gay Crisis.

My Thoughts — this book is full of so much emotion and general truth. I love it so much, I cried several times when reading and admittedly geared up at the end. Hoseok was so sweet and patient and he had to literally teach Yoongi that it was ok to trust him and crap now I’m crying.

Take Me to the Edge

Author — Nasobem

Pairing — Yoonseok

Rating — Explicit (there is smut and Don/sub undertones so tread carefully)

Description —Yoongi takes a pointed step backwards and glares at "Hobi". "What the fuck kind of name is that," he says, "and don't touch me." Namjoon makes a funny noise. Yoongi ignores it for the sake of eviscerating "Hobi" with his stare. It seems to be weirdly ineffective. Or Yoongi is hired to work Tech Support and Security for Jung Corp and it'd honestly be pretty chill if it wasn't for this one obnoxiously handsome dude whose life mission it seems to be to bother Yoongi until he breaks.

My Thoughts— I love this book. Yoongi is such an angry little bean and Hoseok literally just wants to make him happy — the Maknae Line are little shits but what’s new there? This whole book is amazing. I wish I could find a good Vmin/Vhope/Minjoon/Sugakookie book like this. *cries*

Our Burned Bridges

Author — tendershipping (nothing about her ships are tender! *sobs*)

Pairing — Vminkook (she’s the Vmin queen)

Rating — Mature (no smut but brutal themes so tread carefully)

Description —Agent Jeon Jeongguk is given a cover story and assigned to guard amnesiac Kim Taehyung. (Taehyung has nightmares most nights after he wakes, at first. He screams and cries names Jeongguk doesn’t recognize, always one in particular—Jimin.)

My Thoughts— I’m, I’m so EMOTIONAL!!! I read it and was a literal mess halfway through and IT JUST GOT MORE DARK and *chokes* Vmin we’re MARRIED and enter Jimin who seems so bitter and mean and sarcastic but he’s really just broken and angry about things and — go read this. It has a happy ending to so win win.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I have been so active tonight shit. Idk why. You know what. I’ma wait till tomorrow to upload this.

Is it tomorrow? It’s tomorrow. Have fun with this wonderful list of my FAVORITE FANFICS (only the Songbird and The Sea is my favorite lol)

#bts fanfic rec #bts yoonseok #bts yoonmin #bts jikook #fanfic recommendation #the songbird and the sea

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theextendedzodiacas · 7 years

Text

The Signs as Songs

I made a playlist on Spotify the other day, checked to see how long it was, and it just so happens to be 288 songs long. Perfect.

Aries: Far Too Young To Die - Panic! At The Disco Arsces: This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco Arrius: Irresistible - Fall Out Boy Ariborn: Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! At The Disco Arittarius: Black Wedding - In This Moment (feat. Rob Halford) Arpia: Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5 Arza: Death Valley - Fall Out Boy Arga: Time To Dance - Panic! At The Disco Aro: DONTTRUSTME - 3OH!3 Arcen: The Good, The Bad And The Dirty - Panic! At the Disco Armini: Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At The Disco Arun: Vegas Lights - Panic! At The Disco Arist: I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) - Fall Out Boy Arsci: Beverly Hills - Weezer Arnius: Sucker for Pain - Wiz Khalifa, Imagine Dragons, Logic & Ty Dolla $ign feat. X Ambassadors) Aricorn: A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me” - Fall Out Boy Arittanius: Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 Arpio: House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco Arra: Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy (feat. Foxes) Argo: Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time - Panic! At The Disco Arlo: Psycho - Muse Arcer: Supremacy - Muse Armino: The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls Arus: Beat It - Fall Out Boy

Taurus: Miss Murder - AFI Taurist: If I Had You - Adam Lambert Taursci: Love Somebody - Maroon 5 Taurnius: Gone - coldrain Tauricorn: Sex Metal Barbie - In This Moment Taurittanius: America’s Suitehearts - Fall Out Boy Taurpio: Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy Taurra: Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - Marilyn Manson Taurgo: Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5 (feat. Christina Aguilera) Taurlo: Madness - Muse Taurcer: Ready to Go [Get Me Out Of My Mind] - Panic! At The Disco Taurmino: STARSTRUKK - 3OH!3 Taurun: All The Right Moves - OneRepublic Tauries: Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic! At The Disco Taursces: Animals - Maroon 5 Taurrius: Weightless - All Time Low Tauriborn: That’s What You Get - Paramore Taurittarius: Alejandro - Lady Gaga Taurpia: Ain’t It Fun - Paramore Taurza: Gun In My Hand - Dorothy Taurga: Swing, Swing - The All-American Rejects Tauro: Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low Taurcen: Born This Way - Lady Gaga Taurmini: Uprising - Muse

Gemini: The Last Of The Real Ones - Fall Out Boy Gemun: Of All The Gin Joints In All The World - Fall Out Boy Gemries: Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy Gemsces: Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab Gemrius: What I’ve Done - Linkin Park Gemiborn: Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship (feat. Leighton Meester) Gemittarius: Son Of Sam - Shinedown Gempia: Thank You For The Venom - My Chemical Romance Gemza: Pain - Three Days Grace Gemga: Whore - In This Moment Gemo: Nine In The Afternoon - Panic! At The Disco Gemcen: Novocaine - Fall Out Boy Gemino: Mr. Brightside - The Killers Gemus: Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne Gemrist: Move Along - The All-American Rejects Gemsci: I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me - Fall Out Boy Gemnius: Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls Gemicorn: Girls/Girls/Boys - Panic! At The Disco Gemittanius: Paralyzer - Finger Eleven Gempio: Coat of Arms - Jonathan Thulin Gemra: I Don’t Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem) - Good Charlotte Gemgo: Womanizer - Britney Spears Gemlo: Somebody Told Me - The Killers Gemcer: Going Under - Evanescense

Cancer: Who’s That Chick? - David Guetta (feat. Rihanna) Camino: Viva La Vida - Coldplay Canus: My Heart Is Broken - Evanescense Canrist: Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade Cansci: Hey Mama - David Guetta (feat. Nicki Minaj, Bebe Rexha & Afrojack) Cannius: Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous - Good Charlotte Canicorn: Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls Canittanius: One More Night - Maroon 5 Canpio: I Just Wanna Run - The Downtown Fiction Canra: When You Were Young - The Killers Cango: Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes Canlo: Misery - Maroon 5 Cancen: I’m Gay - Bowling For Soup Camini: Casual Affair - Panic! At The Disco Canun: 1985 - Bowling For Soup Canries: Immortals - Fall Out Boy Cansces: AFTERMATH - coldrain Canrius: Comatose - Skillet Caniborn: I Miss The Misery - Halestorm Canittarius: Lips Of An Angel - Hinder Canpia: Camisado - Panic! At The Disco Canza: In The End - Linkin Park Canga: Circus - Britney Spears Cano: R.I.P. - coldrain

Leo: Love Runs Out - OneRepublic Lecen: Let’s Get It Started - The Black Eyed Peas Lemini: Love Like Woe - The Ready Set Leun: The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage - Panic! At The Disco Leries: LOST IN FAITH - coldrain Lesces: Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am? - Fall Out Boy Lerius: Dead! - My Chemical Romance Leiborn: Dirty Pretty - In This Moment Leittarius: Use Somebody - Kings of Leon Lepia: I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy Leza: Everybody’s Fool - Evanescense Lega: This Love - Maroon 5 Lelo: Where Them Girls At - David Guetta (feat. Nicki Minaj & Flo Rida) Lecer: Second Chance - Shinedown Lemino: I’ve Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers - Fall Out Boy Leus: Missile - Dorothy Lerist: Words Of The Youth - coldrain Lesci: It Ends Tonight - The All-American Rejects Lenius: Won’t Go Home Without You - Maroon 5 Leicorn: The Middle - Jimmy Eat World Leittanius: Hello - Evanescense Lepo: Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day Lera: Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace Lego: Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) - My Chemical Romance

Virgo: 7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen) - Fall Out Boy Virlo: Numb - Linkin Park Vircer: Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore Virmino: ENVY - coldrain Virus: Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand Virist: I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco Virsci: Applause - Lady Gaga Virnius: Build God, Then We’ll Talk - Panic! At The Disco Viricorn: Radioactive - Imagine Dragons Virittanius: The Ballad Of Mona Lisa - Panic! At The Disco Virpio: Sing - My Chemical Romance Virra: Centuries - Fall Out Boy Virga: Oh Lord - In This Moment Viro: Stacy’s Mom - Fountains Of Wayne Vircen: That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) - Panic! At The Disco Virmini: Nearly Witches [Ever Since We Met] - Panic! At The Disco Virus: INSIDE OUT - coldrain Viries: Wicked Ones - Dorothy Virsces: How Far We’ve Come - Matchbox Twenty Virrius: FEED THE FIRE - coldrain Viriborn: Teenagers - My Chemical Romance Virittarius: Stutter - Maroon 5 Virpia: This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy Virza: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light ‘Em Up) - Fall Out Boy

Libra: Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows) - Fall Out Boy Ligo: Wake Up Call - Maroon 5 Liblo: Maps - Maroon 5 Licer: Nicotine - Panic! At The Disco Limino: “The Take Over, The Break’s Over" - Fall Out Boy Libus: The Sound Of Silence - Disturbed Librist: Knights Of Cydonia - Muse Libsci: Haunted - Evanescense Libnius: Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks - Panic! At The Disco Libicorn: Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco Libittanius: Rat A Tat - Fall Out Boy (feat. Courtney Love) Lipio: Whisper - Evanescense Libza: You Call Me A Bitch Like It’s A Bad Thing - Halestorm Liga: Victorious - Panic! At The Disco Licen: Dirty Little Secret - The All-American Rejects Limini: COLORBLIND - coldrain Libun: Run For Cover - The Killers Libries: STAY - coldrain Libsces: Symphony of the Night - DragonForce Librius: I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance Libiborn: Secrets - OneRepublic Libittarius: Lucky Strike - Maroon 5 Lipia: Monster - Lady Gaga

Scorpio: Hurricane - Panic! At The Disco Scorra: Judas - Lady Gaga Scorgo: Carry On - fun. Scorlo: Sugar - Maroon 5 Scorcer: Believer - Imagine Dragons Scormino: We Are Young - fun. (feat. Janelle Monáe) Scorus: Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance Scorist: Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don’t) - All Time Low Scorsci: American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy Scornius: There’s A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet - Panic! At The Disco Scoricorn: Check Yes, Juliet - We The Kings Scorittanius: C'mon - Panic! At The Disco & fun. Sorpia: I Get Off - Halestorm Scorza: Ignorance - Paramore Scorga: Tonight Tonight - Hot Chelle Rae Scoro: Bang The Doldrums - Fall Out Boy Scorcen: Some Nights - fun. Scormini: Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC) - Fall Out Boy Scorun: Runaway - coldrain (feat. Jacoby Shaddix) Scories: Gimmie More - Britney Spears Scorsces: Get Lucky - Halestorm Scorrius: Awake and Alive - Skillet Scoriborn: Tourniquet - Evanescense Scorittarius: Helena (So Long And Goodnight) - My Chemical Romance

Sagittarius: Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year - Fall Out Boy Sagipia: Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Sagiza: The (Shipped) Gold Standard - Fall Out Boy Sagiga: Imaginary - Evanescense Sagio: Villain - Wild Fire Sagicen: Fences - Paramore Sagimini: My Last Breath - Evanescense Sagiun: House of Wolves - My Chemical Romance Sagiries: Hysteria - Muse Sagisces: Fireflies - Owl City Sagirius: Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued - Fall Out Boy Sagiborn: 21 Guns - Green Day Sagittanius: (Drop Dead) Beautiful - Britney Spears (feat. Sabi) Sagipio: Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance Sagira: crushcrushcrush - Paramore Sagigo: Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends - Fall Out Boy Sagilo: Counting Stars - OneRepublic Sagicer: Drive - Incubus Sagimino: Smooth - Santana (feat. Rob Thomas) Sagius: Freakum Dress - Beyoncé Sagirist: Never Too Late - Three Days Grace Sagisci: F.T.T.T - coldrain Saginius: Call Me When You’re Sober - Evanescense Sagicorn: The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

Capricorn: Love Bites [So Do I] - Halestorm Capritannius: Taking Over Me - Evanescense Capripio: Bring Me To Life - Evanescense Caprira: Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park Caprigo: Starlight - Muse Caprilo: Supermassive Black Hole - Muse Capricer: Violent Pornography - System Of A Down Caprimino: HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T - Fall Out Boy Caprius: Blood - In This Moment Caprist: Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects Caprisci: Sexy Bitch - David Guetta (feat. Akon) Caprinius: Hallelujah - Panic! At The Disco Capriborn: BURY ME - coldrain Caprittarius: Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Capripia: A DECADE IN THE RAIN - coldrain Capriza: Riot - Three Days Grace Capriga: Crazy=Genius - Panic! At The Disco Caprio: The Mighty Fall - Fall Out Boy (feat. Big Sean) Capricen: I Don’t Care - Fall Out Boy Caprimini: Sarah Smiles - Panic! At The Disco Capriun: Bad Romance - Lady Gaga Capries: Absolutely (Story of a Girl) - Nine Days Caprisces: Turn Me On - David Guetta (feat. Nicki Minaj) Capririus: You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

Aquarius: Toxic - Britney Spears Aquiborn: London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines - Panic! At The Disco Aquittarius: Misery Business - Paramore Aquapia: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison - My Chemical Romance Aquaza: Telephone - Lady Gaga (feat. Beyoncé) Aquaga: The Taste Of Ink - The Used Aquo: Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy Aquacen: American Idiot - Green Day Aquamini: But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco Aquiun: I Constantly Thank God For Esteban - Panic! At The Disco Aquaries: Just Dance - Lady Gaga (feat. Colby O'Donis) Aquasces: Fake It - Seether Aquanius: Shiver - Maroon 5 Aquicorn: My Immortal - Evanescense Aquittanius: Warriors - Imagine Dragons Aquapio: Northern Downpour - Panic! At The Disco Aquara: Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People Aquago: With Me Tonight - The Used Aqualo: My First Kiss - 3OH!3 (feat. Ke$ha) Aquacer: Through The Fire And The Flames - DragonForce Aquamino: Bloody Creature Poster Girl - In This Moment Aquius: LA Devotee - Panic! At The Disco Aquarist: Sugar, We’re Goin Down - Fall Out Boy Aquasci: My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

Pices: Alone Together - Fall Out Boy Pirius: Aware and Awake - coldrain Piborn: Enter Sandman - Metallica Pittarius: Without You - David Guetta (feat. Usher) Pipia: Too Close - Alex Clare Piza: Are You Gonna Be My Girl - Jet Piga: Miss Jackson - Panic! At The Disco (feat. LOLO) Pio: Shake It - Metro Station Picen: Starships - Nicki Minaj Pimini: Let’s Kill Tonight - Panic! At The Disco Piun: Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm Piries: Raise Hell - Dorothy Pisci: (If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To - Weezer Pinius: Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy Picorn: The Sharpest Lives - My Chemical Romance Pittanius: Mama - My Chemical Romance Pipio: UNINVITED - coldrain Pira: The Kids Aren’t Alright - Fall Out Boy Pigo: Headstrong - Trapt Picer: LoveGame - Lady Gaga Pimino: Broken Pieces - Apocalyptica (feat. Lacey) Pius: I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons Pirist: Alive - Escape The Fate

#hhholy shit #submission #mod 8ean #playlist #All Of Them #the signs as #ayahoes

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leigh-kelly · 7 years

Note

177: “ You’re so beautiful. ” for the nyu au please!

A continuation of this.

Rachel Berry gets a boyfriend. He’s some senior guy named Brody, and he lives in an apartment off campus. Santana met him exactly one time, when he was picking up Rachel, and she thinks he’s the creepiest human being in the entire world. But Rachel is in love, apparently, and she practically moves in with him, leaving Santana with their room all to herself most nights. She’s definitely not complaining about that, since she’s come to love sleeping next to Brittany, even in her small twin sized bed. Brittany is soft and warm, and Santana’s head really feels like it was made to fit in the crook of her neck whenever they lay together.

After a long night of studying for Brittany’s re-test in Dr. Corcoran’s class, they fall into bed together, and Santana explores Brittany’s body in a way she hasn’t before. She’s still shy when it comes to sex, but she’s becoming a little more confident than she was before. She loves the way she can make Brittany moan. She loves feeling Brittany’s fingers tighten in her hair. She loves that sometimes she has to wake up and find a sweatshirt that will cover the love bites left on her neck. And most of all, she loves Brittany, this absolutely incredible girl who makes her feel like she never has before.

Usually, after sex, Santana is quick to get dressed. She’s never sure when Rachel might pop up in the room—though luckily, she always fumbles with the lock on the door, giving them time to get out of any compromising situation, which is usually just Brittany’s hand down Santana’s sweatpants while they’re watching a movie—and mostly, she’s insecure about her body, and doesn’t love being naked. But tonight, they’re pressed front to front beneath the sheets, and Santana is in no rush to get out of bed. Brittany keeps kissing her lazily, and Santana nuzzles her nose, feeling comfortable and cozy in bed beside her.

“Where’d you get this?” Brittany asks, tracing her finger over a long scar on Santana’s shoulder.

“I fell out of a tree when I was nine, right onto a broken branch. I broke my arm, and got seventeen stitches there.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Like hell.” Santana laughs a little. “My mom even let me say fuck over and over again, because she knew how bad it was.”

“It looks like it.”

“It’s hard for me to be naked. I feel like my body gives away so much.” She confesses, as Brittany looks at her through the sheets.

“You don’t think my body does?”

“Your body is flawless. You’re so beautiful, and it makes me feel inferior sometimes.”

“It’s so strange to me that you don’t think you’re beautiful too.”

“I never have. And I feel like, I don’t know, like my every secret is revealed when you look at me.”

“Do you want me to tell you a secret about my body?” Brittany asks, pressing her palm to the side of Santana’s face.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want to tell you everything, Santana. There’s so much to me that happened before you came into my life, and if I don’t tell you, you might never know.”

“Okay.” Santana nods slowly, and she feels Brittany’s hand snake beneath the sheets to clasp hers.

“I had a really bad eating disorder when I was in high school.” She whispers. “I ended up being hospitalized for two months.”

“You were?”

“I was. My cheerleading coach was really...strict about weight, and it got to the point where I really internalized it. I started on this master cleanse thing, and it all spiraled out of control from there. I pretty much stopped consuming anything but these cayenne pepper drinks, I dropped down under a hundred pounds, and my hair started to fall out.”

“Is that how your parents found out?”

“No, actually. They’re a little...absentminded, but one of the girls on my squad told Coach, and it sort of just happened from there. I told people at school that I was lost in the sewers for the summer, but I was actually at in inpatient facility where I couldn’t even use the phone.”

“I wouldn’t have known.” Santana murmurs, feeling the urge to kiss Brittany everywhere, to let her know how beautiful she thinks she is, how utterly perfect.

“I know. I’m mostly okay now. I still have some dumb days where I look in the mirror and feel disgusting, but I learned how to have a good relationship with food.”

“I’m glad. If you ever feel like I’m—“

“I don’t.” Brittany cuts her off. “I know sometimes you get busy and only eat granola bars and stuff, but that’s why I try to keep a regular routine with meals and always go to the dining hall.”

“I’m really proud of you. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you. I can only like...abstractly comprehend how women’s bodies are subjugated. I feel like I write about it a lot, but I’ve never experienced it.”

“I guess I just wanted to be good at something. I was really good at controlling what I put in my mouth, so...”

“I wish I could have been there to tell you that you were good at other things.”

“You tell me now. Being in a relationship with you is good for me. I know that sometimes you get insecure about things, but mostly, you’re really proud to be who you are. I see it in the way you dress, and how you walk around with your rainbow bracelets on. I don’t know, you’ve just never let anyone else define you, and I think that’s really cool.”

“I kind of did for awhile.” Santana squeezes Brittany’s hand. “I tried to be cool or whatever, but I still wasn’t. Mostly I just felt like crap because I wasn’t doing the things that made me happy. I know it’s super lame that I get really into like, fictional stuff or whatever, but it helped me be okay with my identity. You know about my grandma, and I guess I internalized a lot of things when I was growing up too. I wasn’t supposed to be queer, you know? I was supposed to have that whole white dress wedding thing when I was like twenty-two, with some nice boy from Lima. As much as my parents accepted me, I guess they had certain expectations when they had a little girl. I’m their only one, so I felt like I’d be letting them down if I didn’t turn out to be who they thought.”

“They’re proud of you though, right?”

“They really are. And they like you a lot. It’s weird, I guess you’re the first thing that really proved to them I was gay or something. I was kinda worried about them seeing it manifest, or whatever. You know what I mean, like, I was a safe lesbian because I wasn’t really acting upon it?”

“I get that. But they were great about it. Even at your grandmother’s funeral, they really seemed like they were interested in our relationship.”

“They were, and they are. I mean, I talk to my mom every day, and she always wants to know how you are.”

“I think that’s really cool.” Brittany smiles, and kisses Santana’s lips.

“But anyway, that was all completely tangential. My point was, I wasn’t totally okay with being into my weird stuff, and I tried to not be, but ultimately, I was happier being how I am.”

“I’m happy how you are too. You talk about things that no one else does, and I love it.”

“Britt?” Santana runs her hand up Brittany’s side, and then holds her face.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really happy you’re okay now.”

#brittana #nyu!au #tw: eating disorder mention #Anonymous

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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 years

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Welcome to Your Cyberpunk Future by Rudy Rucker

“Welcome to Your Cyberpunk Future”

Draft of a talk by Rudy Rucker for IdeaFestival in Louisville, Kentucky, talk given on September 27, 2017.

Where I’m From

I grew up in Louisville, and I graduated from St. Xavier high-school in 1963, not that I’m a Catholic. My father Embry was in fact an Episcopal priest at St. Francis in the Fields. But my parents had the idea that St. X had the best science courses. It’s a good school. But I regret not having gone to high-school with girls. I could have gone to Waggener with my best friend Niles Schoening. He died last year. And my St. X pal Michael Dorris died a few years back. It’s terrible to see your friends and loved ones go. They’re lost. No backup.

Embry Sr, Nonny, Embry Jr, and Rudy in 1957

I left Louisville, and went off to Swarthmore College near Philadelphia, and then I got a Ph. D. in mathematics, and had a career. At this point I’ve published about forty books. Some are popular science books about infinity and about the fourth dimension. But most of my books are science fiction novels. Literary science fiction. Cyberpunk and transreal. Cyberpunk is about computers merging into our reality—and about us maintaining our individuality in the face of that.

Rudy with big brother Embry and his motorcycle in Prospect, Kentucky, in 1981

When I was growing up, I was fascinated by the Beat writers Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs. It helped that my cool big brother Embry had a subscription to Evergreen Review, which is where these guys were publishing. In grad school I was a hippie, and the 1980s, I was a punk. But at the deepest level I’ll always be a beatnik.

Nevertheless I’m a reliable Louisville boy, and a family man, married to my college sweetheart Sylvia for fifty years now, with three children, and five grandchildren.

Our children Rudy Jr, Georgia, and Isabel in Lynchburg, Virginia, 1978. Cyberpunk kids! One of fate’s jokes was to have me live the home of the “Moral Majority” while I was helping to found the cyberpunk movement.

Being a successful writer doesn’t necessarily pay well, so for most of my life I had a day job. I was a math professor until I was forty, and then the family and I moved to California, and I became a computer science professor. I was faking it, but eventually I knew what I was doing, and then I did some work as a programmer as well. And now I’ve been retired for a dozen years. All I do these days is write and paint and put things online.

What is Cyberpunk?

This talk is called, “Welcome to Your Cyberpunk Future.” Your cyberpunk future is here, and you’re in it, and there’s nothing to be scared of. You’re out in the waves, and you can surf. No need to drown. And it’s gonna get gooder.

Back in the day, William Gibson, John Shirley, Bruce Sterling, and I were among the original cyberpunk authors. The word cyberpunk stood for a certain kind of science fiction literature and film, set in the near future. Gibson’s Neuromancer is a modern classic, and everyone’s read it. I’m known for my Ware Tetralogy novels, starting with Software in 1982. And Sterling generated more press than any of us—with his speeches, novels, and journalism. I co-wrote nine stories with Bruce. He can be annoying. A true punk. But the stories came out great.

Transreal Cyberpunk, a collection of stories by Bruce and Rudy. We self-published it last year, and rand a Kickstarter campaign to fund it. Cyberpunk publishing. “Transreal” means writing SF stories that are autobiographical, or in some way reminiscent of the author’s life.

The word cyberpunk isn’t all that well-known. People aren’t sure if it’s good or bad. The strait-laced and repressive forces in our society might reflexively say cyberpunk is bad. But I’m telling you that cyberpunk is good. Cyberpunk is your friend. Cyberpunk is a key to liberation.

The idea behind cyberpunk is simple. Cyberpunk = Cyber + Punk.

Cyber refers to two things: to people, and to the world that people live in. That is, cyber is about the merging of humans and robots—and cyber is about the physical world mixing with the virtual world of the internet.

One of my paintings . “The Riviera.” In a way, that’s my wife Sylvia and me.

How do people merge with machines? In one direction, we have intelligent programs imitating people. And in the other direction we have people enhancing themselves with devices like smart phones.

Okay, and what about the cyber merger of physical reality and the internet? In one direction, we have computers creating visual effects and virtual realities that resemble our world. And in the other direction our daily world is being augmented by the internet. We spend a lot of time online, and that means the internet is part of the world we walk around in.

Graffiti art at Ocean Beach in San Francisco. A punk diagrammatic crab.

So that’s cyber, now what about punk? In the classic 1980s sense, punk is about sex, drugs, and rock and roll—and about turning your back on conventional rules. As Bruce puts it, “We get in there with spray cans and grunge up those pristine walls.” Cyberpunk literature and film break out of the1970s-type, plastic, white-bread visions of the future. We leave the worlds of Star Trek and Star Wars—and enter the worlds of Bladerunner and The Terminator and Black Mirror.

In the 1980s, when the first cyberpunk novels appeared, a lot of SF novels were about, like, hereditary aristocrats who were colonels in the Space Navy. Some of us had barely escaped being drafted and sent to die in Vietnam. We didn’t want to hear about serving the whims of our so-called leaders. We wanted stories starring people like ourselves. Misfits, artists, stoners, outlaws, women, gays, and people of color. Not officers and cops and rich people.

Punk means countercultural politics. Like, “You’re not my boss. I’m not even listening. I’m doing it my way.”

Even simpler, punk means GTF&WA. Give the finger and walk away.

Software and Wetware

Covers of Software in paperback, (Ace1982 and (Avon 1987). When I published my novel Software in 1982, the word was almost unkown—I learned about the concept of software by reading Scientific American and by doing post-doctoral academic research on mathematical logic and the philosophy of mind at the University of Heidelberg.

The idea for the novel seems simple now. The idea: It should be possible to extract the patterns stored in a person’s brain, and transfer these onto a robot, and the robot will act just like person. By now you’ve seen this happen in about a hundred movies and TV shows, right? But I was the first one to write about it. In the 1980s, “soul as software” was such an unfamiliar way of thinking that it took me a year to figure it out.

Wetware in the Japanese and the Italian editions.

To make my Software be punk, I made the brain-to-software transfer very gnarly. A gang of scary-funny hillbillies extracted people’s mental software by slicing off the tops of their skulls and eating their brains with cheap steel spoons. One of them is a robot in disguise, and his stomach analyzes the brain tissue. They were based on some people who stayed at the same crummy motel as us one time.

My second Ware novel is called Wetware and it’s set partly in a robot colony on the moon, and partly in my beloved home town, Louisville. In Wetware, the robots get even. They start building people. The idea here is that DNA, or genetic code, is a type of program for your body. And since it’s all slimy down inside your meat, we call this code wetware instead of software. Wetware engineering it going to be huge in the 21st century. Biotech. Genomics.

All the wares are in my Ware Tetralogy. You can buy it or, since I’m a punk, you can get it free. I don’t totally write for money. I write to change the world. I want to infect your mind. It’s a type of self-reproduction!

Cyberpunk Now

The cyberpunk writers of the 1980s were canaries in a coal mine. We predicted the future. We are merging with computers. And our physical world is saturated with the internet. And punks have evolved into slackers and Xers and grungers and hipsters and Y’s and millennials and whatever’s next. But the attitude’s the same. Give the finger and walk away. Punk’s still here. Welcome to your cyberpunk future!

The good news is that the internet turned out much better than anyone could have hoped. It grew and spread before business or the government could shackle it. Why? Because those people who designed it and released it—they were cyberpunks. I’m not saying they were hipsters, no, they were geeks. But they were cyberpunk geeks. They knew about computers, but they didn’t want to obey the elite. They released the internet into the wild, and there’s no way for the controllers to get it back. It’s on the loose for good.

Here’s some of the tasty cyberpunk aspects of the free internet.

*Without getting permission from anyone, you can put up a webpage and you can post pretty much anything you want on it. Free speech.

*You can use the internet to publish your art or your books—both online and in print. Freedom of the press.

*Put a smart phone in your pocket and you’ve got a universal communication device. Talk to anyone anywhere. Use video if you like.

*You’ve got access to the total world library in your pocket.

*You can get a reasonably helpful answer to any question—just by typing it into the search bar.

*You can outsource some of your brain functions. Photos, addresses, directions, dates, calculations—you don’t have to remember them anymore. They’re online, in the cloud.

*Email and the social networks let you hang with a virtual gang of friends all day. A good session on the web can feel like a party. You’re in cyberspace, and you’re not alone.

Image of my son Rudy Jr’s ISP Monkeybrains.net. Customers on left.

That’s all good cyber stuff, but we do still need that recalcitrant punk attitude. The browser and social network companies—they’re into building silos of data about you—so pests can pelt you with ads. At the very least, it’s wise to refrain from answering any and all online questionnaires. And never give out your real phone number. GTF&WA.

Even in a democracy, you don’t automatically keep your rights to freedom. You have to win them back, over and over and over again. If you stop being a rebel, they make you a slave.

Cyberpunk Later

Now I’ll mention four possible forms of future cyberpunk tech.

My painting, “My Life in a Nutshell.” How it feels to be using a keyboard all the time! Based on a Philip Guston painting of a guy obsessing over a bottle.

* (1) Smooth interface. Believe me, people are not going to be pecking at tiny smart phone keyboards in ten or twenty years. Voice recognition will finally work. But it’s embarrassing to be talking out loud to your phone, and it’s slow to have to listen to a computer voice. We might end up with a patch or a soft blob that sits on the back of your neck and communicates directly with your devices, and even with other people. A cell phone that’s kind of glued onto your body, and it can read your brainwaves. As a computer science professor and a programmer, I would, however, advise you that any suggestion of implanting such a device is strongly contraindicated.

Like, “Report to the surgeon for release 2.1.7b?” Nah, external devices are fine.

This picture shows a pleasant regress or union you might encounter with telepathy. A yin-yang combo of souls!

* (2) Telepathy. True telepathy might be when, instead of sending information to someone else, you simply send them a link to the location where that information is stored in your own brain. And they can access it there without copying it. Read-only permission of course. And then, relative to you, other people are part of your data cloud.

Here’s my wife Sylvia and me in the digital afterlife. Recorded in Wyoming, 2008.

* (3) Digital Immortality. So how about making a software model of a person? So that, like, I can get my friend Niles Schoening back? In the near term, we already have a simple way for mimicking this process, something that I call lifebox software.

The idea behind a lifebox is get a large and rich data base with a person’s writings, plus videos of them, and recorded interviews. That’s the back end. The front end of a lifebox is an interactive search engine. You ask the lifebox a question, it does a search on the data, and it comes up with a relevant answer.

And for the icing on the cake, add a veneer of AI so the answers fit together into something like a conversation. This will be a huge commercial business soon.

(You can read more about this in my nonfiction book, The Lifebox, the Seashell, and the Soul, online as a webpage.)

* (4) Everything is Alive. The best things in the world are what I like to call gnarly. Gnarl is at the interface between order and randomness. Not all lock-step organized—and not just random scuzz. There’s a whole theory to analyze this. The bottom line is that gnarly processes are, in effect, universal computations that can emulate anything.

Nature is gnarly. Leaves sway in an gnarly, chaotic patterns, never repeating, yet always approximately the same. Water flows in gnarly chaotic motion, too, and flames as well. Chaotic processes form intricately patterned shapes that we call fractals. And of course fractals are gnarly too. Our minds and bodies are gnarly as well. Gnarl is where it’s at.

My point is that any interesting natural process is gnarly, and any such process is, in effect, a universal computer. Even a rock sitting on the ground. A stone is, after all, like a jiggling mass of a septillion atoms, connected by spring-like bonds. There’s a lot happening inside a rock. Why shouldn’t it be as intelligent as I am?

My feeling is that, in some sense, every object is alive—some of the Greeks believed this. They called it hylozoism. Hylozoism = Matter + Alive

Way down the road, we’re not using manufactured tools anymore. And we’re directly talking to the material objects around us. Because every object is alive.

And how exactly do you talk to the objects? Well, if you’re a hylozoic cyberpunk, you’ll find a way.

(More on this in my essay, “Everything Is Alive” in my Collected Essays, and in my novel Hylozoic.)

Cyberpunk forever!

========================================

(Unused Extra Bit): Nature to Computation to Cyberpunk Art

Water in a creek reflecting the sky

Nature’s processes form intricately patterned shapes that we call fractals. Fractals are gnarly. Chaotic things leave fractal trails.

You don’t fully appreciate the gnarliness of water and of reflections of light until you analyze these with computer models of them. For a cyberpunk, a computer can be a funhouse mirror of the world. A distorting lens to see through.

Computer model of water using my CAPOW software.

The way to profit from our merge with computers is not to say “we’re just computers.” Instead you want to say “computers can be as interesting as us.” Cyber can sound dull, but if you punk it up, it’s gnarly.

Painting of the computer model. I call it “Alien Taxi.” A computer simulation of nature’s chaos inspires a vision of an alien vehicle.

A cyberpunk artist sees unknown new forms.

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl

All Donna has to do is pretend that her grip slip and she's done with this jerk!

Like I'm going to believe Terry Long has any friends!

Look how excited Terry is to show Donna proof that he has a friend! What a sad sack of potatoes! He's worse than Ross from Friends! Donna reads the letter and is all, "This sure looks like your handwriting, Terry." And Terry is all, "As Icki Mudd, I had to learn to write like Captain Midnight! For secret missions!" Donna fingers her lasso of truth while I get distracted from writing this dialogue because I used the verb fingered so here's there actual conversation which is practically the one I was going to write anyway.

Shit is going down!

This is really good Terry Long fan-fiction. Everybody reading comic books forever has always known that Terry Long is a piece of shit. But he's almost constantly written by Marv Wolfman, the one guy who thinks Terry Long is a fucking catch (if I don't say this in a parenthetical reference, somebody else will say it in the comments so "because Terry Long is totally Marv Wolfman"). Moench even makes a point of having Terry Long mention the book he's never going to finish because he keeps expecting Donna to help him with her knowledge of the ancient characters gained through personal relationships. I believe he even loses his professorship due to never finishing the book. And this is why! Because he was just using the idea of it as an excuse to go get drunk with an old friend and maybe jerk each other off like old times.

Arguments Over Breakfast Starring Donna and Terry. I could read an entire series of just this. It's delicious.

Donna walks over to Titans Tower to smash things in the Smash Things Simulator while thinking, "If this man I thought was a sensitive feminist is actually a fucking loser boy in a squishy man's body, what if all men are just as terrible?!" If Donna were a video game character, she would level up five times from this realization. Everybody is selfish but somehow men manage to be even more selfish than women. It's a pretty good feat and I don't know how they accomplish it. Being raised under the Patriarchy, I guess? "But not all men," think the men who are only thinking about themselves and how not selfish they are. The problem is that Terry and Donna can spend a week fucking any time! But when is Terry going to get to fuck his old friend from childhood?! Practically never, that's when! How can Donna blame him for not wanting to miss this opportunity? Would she expect Terry to understand if she had to interrupt a blow job to go save the multiverse?! I don't know if the comparisons track logically but I don't have time to consider my words. Let's move on! While Donna is away, Terry rushes off to El Salvador. I don't know how long Donna is working out her frustrations before she gets back home but it seems to already be too late. Somehow in that time, he's phoned a travel agent, purchased tickets, hailed a cab, got to the airport, waltzed through 1987 security, waited for the flight, boarded, waited on the tarmac due to engine trouble, had to deplane, boarded a new plane, and took off to El Salvador! Donna did have to spend a little time realizing there was a secret Captain Midnight message encoded in the letter that said, "Hey! Fuck up! Stop thinking about jerking me off, you gay! I've been kidnapped by drug lords! Send the Justice League!" but since she thinks, "Bingo! On the first try," after decoding it, I think she could have caught up with Terry at the airport. Don't cancel me over the "you gay" bit in the message from Terry's friend. Remember that they were best friends and this is 1987. We're lucky the entire letter wasn't homosexual references! Once Terry gets to El Salvador, he finds out that his friend, Dennis Heiman, hasn't been in his hotel for a week. So being the great explorer he totally knows he is, Terry marches off into the jungle to find his friend.

"Sure, it's almost certainly a path created by a dangerous creature or armed drug lords but on the super off-chance it is Denny's path, won't he be fucking surprised!"

Terry Long gets caught by some drug lords and now Donna has to save him. Oh man is she going to have some great ammunition for their next fight over breakfast!

Wait. Do they have a running argument about which one of them is most like Tarzan? I just learned more than I wanted about their sex life.

Terry runs for his life while Donna deflects bullets. She doesn't strategically let one that will hit him in the ass get by because she's a better spouse than I would be. But Terry still pays for his matrimonial crimes when he falls in a pit. The good guys with guns who are only running drugs and making their community a dangerous hellhole because they live in poverty run away when they realize that their guns aren't killing Wonder Girl like they're supposed to. What good is a gun if it can't kill the person who should keep minding their own business instead of ruining your livelihood?! Stupid assault rifles! Now that all the people who love guns more than anything aren't reading this because I used the term "assault rifle," it's time for cupcakes! I wish I could pass out cupcakes online. Nothing would bring me more joy than denying people I don't agree with cupcakes. Oh, except maybe the cupcake! Donna follows Terry down the hole and thinks, "Why is this pit here? Oh, I bet it was a secret passageway Mayan priests used to reach the temples and make their 'magical' appearances." So she already knows more about Mayans than Terry does. She realized Terry isn't going to be able to finish the book no matter what the subject is so she's already begun research on the new project he just proposed over that morning's breakfast. But what she finds at the other end of the tunnel is disturbing (but for Marv Wolfman only).

Is this what people online call "fan service"?

I just tore out the last eight pages of the comic book. Does that make the death of Terry Long canon? Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl: A+! I can't believe it! The death of Terry Long! What a bold move to place in an ancillary Teen Titans series! This issue must be worth five figures! Mostly because I have the only copy. It really does read better if you stop at page fourteen. Because who wants to read page fifteen where Terry has to explain to Donna why he hid in the Mayan Beheaded Magic Trick Box? I mean Illusion Box. I bet he was thinking, "Just wait until Donna sees me dead! Then she'll be sorry for getting upset with my misogyny over breakfast! That'll show her! Man, I'm really hard right now!"

Notice how Donna destroys the guns after saying, "Murderers." Checkmate people who say guns don't kill people, people kill people.

Donna might also have killed the guys holding the guns. It's hard to tell because the coloring of the dimly lit cave might just be obscuring the blood and brains that are almost certainly leaking from their bodies. Maybe Batman couldn't kill Joker even after Joker killed Robin but Donna's no Batman. Of course, Terry Long is no Robin (even a Jason Todd Robin). So is he worth Donna killing for? It's a philosophical conundrum that most people will conclude "no" is the proper answer almost immediately. So I might have used the word "conundrum" too rashly. Terry accidentally became trapped in the Mayan Illusion so I guess Donna can't be too angry at him.

Okay, now she can be mad at him.

It looks like Donna's flashing Terry in the above image and he totally frightened by what he's seeing. It is now canon that Wonder Girl's lady parts have blistered tentacles and maybe a small beak. I don't understand Terry's line about girls wearing girdles. Is it a feminist saying? Maybe he just made it up in his terror at seeing her squawking nether regions? The drama isn't finished even though I finished my review a few paragraphs ago. When it becomes so intense that Terry and Donna believe their lives might actually be in danger, the story gets really fucking disgusting.

Oh god. I did not need the image of Terry's boner rubbing against Donna's thighs as he smears his filthy facial hair all over her iron face.

I was being less disgusting than the actual panel by suggesting he was just rubbing his cock against her through their clothing. Upon rereading those narration boxes, I think they actually just fucked. "No time for tenderness" has to be code for a quickie, right? I think the next page is proof of that theory:

Terry puts his dick away as Donna thanks him for the "we almost died" sex. Of special note: Terry thinks you can start a campfire with a condom.

Donna kills a bunch of drug lords in a fiery explosion but she says "They probably all got knocked out by the shockwave!" to assuage her guilty conscience. She's definitely read Batman's best selling book, One Thousand Ways to Convince Yourself and Others That You've Never Killed Anybody. While a lot of the reasons are "If doctors didn't stop the internal bleeding in time, maybe the violent thug should have purchased better insurance that allowed for a better hospital with a more competent staff" and "Dying of complications from losing a spleen to a batarang are completely the fault of the person who didn't take the proper care for a person who is living without a spleen," quite a few of the reasons boil down to "Did you see anybody dead that couldn't have more probably been unconscious when you left the scene? Because I sure didn't and I have bat eyes!" Batman then had to release a follow-up novel due to the reaction of his book on Twitter. He called it, Contrary to Popular and Stupid Opinions, Bats Actually Have Great Eyesight. Anyway, they save Terry's best friend who isn't imaginary at all.

While hanging out with Terry, Donna often entertains herself by thinking stupid jokes.

Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl Rating: F! Terry didn't die after all! Poop!

#Teen Titans #Teen Titans Spotlight #DC #DC Comics #Wonder Girl

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picascribit · 7 years

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Discards: original notes

Because someone asked about my writing process, I’ve decided to share with y’all the original notes I wrote up for Discards when the idea first came to me, all at once in the middle of the night (which I just happened to find in my email drafts). You can see how much the story evolved from my initial thoughts. You’ll notice a few ideas that were dropped from the final version, some pretty significant ones that were added in later, or grew in the telling, and how some of it survived the whole process, and ended up exactly as written in the finished story. Putting it under a cut because it’s very long.

R/S in their early 20s. S is a librarian at the main branch of the seattle public library. R is a community college student studying psychology and gender/sexuality, with an eye towards working with LGBT youth.

Remus was kicked out by his parents when they found out he was gay at ~15/16. He dropped out of high school, and did survival sex work, living on the street. He contracted HIV, but was lucky enough to catch it early. He's managing his condition. Be sure to work in mentions of taking his meds and seeing doctors. Still homeless, but working hard to get out of it. Got his GED, and some community college scholarships. Still sleeps at shelters or rough. Can't get benefits if you're a student?

At a shelter, he met Lily, who was there with her family. Since then, Lily's parents got subsidised housing, and Lily lives with them in their one bedroom apartment. Petunia moved in with her boyfriend. Lily works as a waitress, and volunteers at a soup kitchen on weekends, where Remus is still getting some of his meals. Sometimes Remus crashes on Lily's floor, but they don't really have room for him.

Remus is still doing sex work to pay for some of his college, some food, bus fare, and study drugs that keep him alert and focused.

Sirius was also kicked out by his very wealthy parents as a teenager, possibly for being trans. He moved in with Jame's family, and is still living with them, but he's trying to work towards independence. Wants to get his own place, pay for his his own top surgery, etc. James's mother got him the library job.

When the story opens, SB has been watching this cute hipster looking guy at a study table for half the day, whenever he has a spare minute. Knows he's not supposed to hit on patrons. Watches RL go to the self-checkout computers at the end of the afternoon, and search his pockets before coming over to the desk.

"I forgot my library card. Is there any way I can still check these out?" "Sure. What's your name?" "Remus Lupin. L-U-P-I-N." "Phone number?" SB asks, wishing he were asking for himself, and knowing it's not ethical to copy down a patron's number. RL gives it to him. SB begins to check out the books, noticing that they're all about sex and sexuality. "They're for a class," RL says, blushing. "I wasn't going to ask," SB assures him with a smile. "Patrons' interests are none of our business." RL thanks him and hurries out. Remus, SB thinks. His name is Remus. hopes he'll come back soon.

A week or so later, SB encounters RL in the stacks when he's reshelving books. Human sexuality section again. Tells him not to reshelve books himself, since one of the metrics library funding is based on is how many books they reshelve. RL hesitates, the book halfway onto the shelf. "Oh. I didn't know that." He pulls the book back, hesitates again, and then pulls three more off the shelf. "Should I just give them to you, or ...?" "You can give them to me. Or leave them on the cart at the end of the row." RL hands him the books. SB notices RL is a few inches shorter than him, and has long fingers. "Thanks. Remus, right? I'm Sirius. I checked you out the other day." SB says, belatedly remembering that he's wearing a nametag, and that Remus already knows his name, if he cared to look. RL looks startled to be remembered, but nods. "So, you're a student? What's your major?" SB asks, knowing full well that he's not supposed to be asking patrons personal questions. RL nods and tells him about studying psych with a focus on gender/sexuality. "Oh. That sounds interesting." "It is." Awkward silence. Sb wants to keep talking to RL, but RL is wary of strangers and of letting people get close to his life. "What are you thinking of doing with it?" "I want to be a counselor or therapist. Find find a way to do some good in the world." "That sounds noble." "I guess," RL shrugs. "I just want to help people." RL throws SB a bone. "Working in a library must be pretty interesting, too. Did you study Library Science." "Nah, I haven't been to college yet. My mom's a big patron of the arts. She talked to some people and got me the job." "Oh," says RL, closing off a little more. "Well, that was nice of her." "Yeah." more awkward silence. SB wants to let RL know he's queer. Reaches past him for a book on the top shelf, with an unambiguously queer focus (maybe Levithan's anthology). "I recommend this one, if you're interested in queer studies. It's one of my favourites. The editor writes some really good queer YA fiction, too, if that's your thing." "Thanks," says RL, adding the book to his stack. "I'll check it out. And check it out." They both laugh awkwardly. "Well, see you around," says SB. "Yeah. See you."

[Scene with SB and JP, where SB tells him about this cute guy he met at the library. "You're always meeting cute guys at the library." "Yeah, but I think this one might be queer. At least, he's studying gender and sexuality. I don't think a lot of straight guys do that." JP shrugs, and lets SB gush a bit. "So are you going to ask him out?" "I dunno. I mean, I can't at work, can I? It's unprofessional. I'd have to find a way to see him outside work, and ask him then." JP laughs. "Catch-22. You can't see him outside work unless you see him outside work." SB laughs, too, but then sobers up. "If I did ask him out, d'you think he'd mind about -- you know." JP shrugs. "Probably only one way to find out."]

A few days later, RL comes right up to the desk to check out his books, not even bothering with the self-checkout computers. "I read that book you recommended. It was really good. Thanks." "I'm glad you liked it." RL has one of Levithan's fiction books in his stack today. "Oh, that's a good one, too. I hope you like it." RL gives him a smile. "I'll let you know."

[maybe this is where we follow RL to the bus, and to the soup kitchen, see him talk to LE about the hot guy at the library who he thinks might have been hitting on him. "I've never given a guy that hot my number before." "ooh! You gave him your number?" "Not really. He asked for it, professionally, when I was checking out books." "What does he look like?" "Tall, dark hair, gray eyes. Way out of my league." "Don't sell yourself short, Remus." RL rolls his eyes. "I'm not exactly a catch, am I?" LE smiles at him. "I'd catch you. If you were into girls. I bet we'd both get moved up the housing list if we got married." RL laughs, knowing it's half a joke. "You'd be wasted on me. Someday you'll make some guy very happy." "So will you. What makes Library Boy so unattainable, anyway?" "He said his mom is a 'patron of the arts'. Probably means he has money coming out of his ass. Unless he's into homeless guys, I'm probably out of luck." LE asks him if she can walk him to [shelter name]. RL says he has to work. She hugs him. "Stay safe."]

Next time he's at the library, RL is stretching and thinking about how hungry he is, when SB appears at his table. "Hey, I'm just about to go on my lunch break, and you look like you could use a break, too. Care to join me? My treat." RL hesitates, but there's no way he can turn down free food, and SB is hot. He packs up his books and papers and follows SB to the library cafe, where there is nothing more complicated than soup and sandwiches. "Get whatever you want," SB tells him. They get their food and find at table, and then RL realises that this means he's going to have to talk to SB about himself. Don't panic, he tells himself. Stick to school stuff. Not actually sure this is a date, but suspects it is. Sb asks if he liked the Levithan book. RL says he hasn't had a chance to read it yet. It's been a busy week. SB talks more about which Levithan books he loves (maybe mention some with trans characters), and how he has been reading them for ages, ever since he first realised he was queer. "Sometimes it seemed like they were my only friends. Apart from James." Tells RL about getting kicked out, and living with James's family, and how lucky he is, but doesn't mention yet being trans. RL doesn't talk about getting kicked out, because he doesn't want to tell SB about being homeless, but he agrees that SB is lucky, and says his own parents weren't thrilled about his sexuality, either. "It sucks, doesn't it?" says SB. "They tell you your family are the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, but sometimes they can be the biggest, most judgmental dicks of all." "Yeah." Now that they are out to each other, RL can talk a little bit about wanting to work with queer youth, who are at high risk of homelessness, mental illness, and exploitation. SB thinks it's great RL is doing that. RL thinks it was the only way i could save myself: by realising that if I did, I could save other people, too. When SB's lunch hour is up, he says this was nice, and maybe they could do it again sometime. RL doesn't want to commit, in case SB might say it's his turn to treat next time. "Yeah, maybe."

[Scene where SB and JP talk about the "date". SB comments that it always seems like RL is ready to run off, or like he's afraid someone is going to jump on him.]

On another day, RL falls asleep, exhausted, at a study table. SB wakes him at closing time. RL is dismayed and starts shoving papers and books into his bag. He has classes that evening, and he's going to be late. Sb says he's off in 10, and can drive him, which is faster than the bus. RL hesitates, then agrees. He's starting to worry about being in SB's debt. There is a severe imbalance in their relationship to date. In the car, SB is kind of nervous. Tells RL that he doesn't want him to feel like he's trapping him or anything. but he's not allowed to hit on patrons at work, and he really likes RL, so here's his phone number, if he ever wants to talk or text. Again, RL says, "Maybe. Thanks."

[scene where RL and LE discuss the situation, and LE asks if RL is going to call SB. RL still isn't sure.]

[Scene of texting. "Hey. It's Remus." "Hey. I was hoping you'd text. What's up?" "Not much. Just been talking to my friend Lily." "Lily, huh? Should I be jealous?" "Probably. She's pretty hot. If you're into girls." "And you're not?" "Nope." "Well then maybe I should meet her." "Are you into girls?" "Sometimes." "Fair." "I'm more into boys, though. There's this cute guy who keeps coming into the library. I'm not sure he's into me, though. Always seems like he's looking for an escape route." "Maybe if you tell me a little more about him, I can help you figure it out." "Well, he's smart and good looking, and he's going to school so he can learn to help kids." "You make him sound pretty good. I think I've seen him. Skinny as a stick? Always looks tired?" "emoji* The guy I'm thinking of is medium height, with light brown hair that he uses to hide the most gorgeous brown eyes you ever saw. Think someone like me might have a shot with a guy like that?" "Maybe. Someone like you could have a shot with a lot of guys." "*smirk emoji* You think if I invited him for a stroll down the Dewey Decimal trail next time he's at the library, he'd say yes?" "I guess you'll have to ask him when he comes in tomorrow afternoon." "I might just do that. Thanks for the advice." "No problem. Let me know how it goes." "I will. Good night." "Night."]

Next day, RL is having some second thoughts about the late night texting. Thinks he let his guard down too much, and gave Sb too much encouragement, when RL can't follow through without telling him things about his life that will probably scare SB off. SB approaches him and says, "I've got a break coming up, and a little bird told me you might take a walk with me from the reference section down to xxx." [describe layout of SPL] RL has decided that he needs to talk to SB about how he can't do this, and a walk is as good a time as any, so he packs up and follows him up the stairs to the top of the catalogue. Every now and then, they stop to "sightsee" a rare book that SB thinks is interesting. Somewhere in an empty row of biographies, RL turns to SB and says, "Listen, I really like you, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page before things went any further." "Oh. OK," says SB, looking a little disappointed. "Does this mean the rest of our walk is canceled?" "No. It doesn't have to be." "Good. So, with the understanding that this isn't a relationship, and isn't going to suddenly turn into one, would it be OK if we held hands?" "Um ... sure." SB's hands are warmer than RL's, but they are both damp and clamy with nervousness. Sb seems content for the rest of their walk, and they talk about inconsequential things. SB shows off some more books. Down at the low numbers, they find themselves in a quiet spot again, and SB turns to RL and asks softly, "So, just as friends, would it be OK if I kissed you?" RL's heart is pounding. He doesn't think he's ever kissed anyone as attractive as SB before. Certainly no one as attractive as SB has ever expressed an interest in kissing him. He nods. The kiss is very warm and pleasant, and leaves them both a little breathless. SB has to get back to work, and RL to studying, but it's hard for him to focus. He takes a pill and continues, trying not to think about SB's soft gray eyes and pink lips.

[Scene between SB and JP. SB is halfway on cloud nine because of the kiss, but disappointed that RL isn't interested in a relationship, and also that RL left the library without saying goodbye.. "If you get to kiss him anyway, then what's the big deal? He likes you. Be happy." "I dunno. I guess you're right." "Have you told him about ...?" "Not yet. I mean, it doesn't really matter unless things are going to go beyond kissing, does it? And if we only ever see each other at the library, that's not going to happen."]

[Scene between RL and LE. RL is kind of freaking out and wondering if he should have let SB kiss him like that. But it was really nice. Can't remember the last time someone kissed him that way. Tells LE about telling SB he doesn't want a realtionship. "Why not?" "Because ... I can't. I can't have a relationship with someone without telling them everything. And if I tell him everything, it's over." "You don't know that." "I do. Just ... let me have this for a little while." "You deserve to be happy, Remus." "Yeah, well, how many people actually get what they deserve?"]

[texting conversation where RL apologises for not saying goodbye before leaving the library. "Big surprise. The guy who looks like he's always going to run off ran off." "Yeah. Sorry. I kind of freaked." "It's OK. I know you'll be back. If not for me, then for the books." "Yeah." "Sorry if I came on too strong. I didn't mean to scare you off." "I didn't mind." "Are you going to start avoiding me now?" "No. I don't think so." "Well that's good. So what do you think are the chances of it happening again sometime?" "I'm not looking for a relationship, Sirius." "You said. kissing does not equal relationship. At least, it doesn't have to if you don't want it to. I enjoyed kissing you. I'd like to do it again sometime." "I liked it too." "Good."]

The next couple of weeks, RL makes as much time to visit the library as possible. He and SB kiss in many deserted rows, and SB shows him some of the library's rare book rooms, which are often empty. When RL goes to check out his books at the end of the day, SB mentions to him that he has an overdue. "Yeah. I'm not done with it yet." "I can renew it for you." "Thanks." (might need to start this part earlier in the story)

Weeks pass, and the same book is overdue again. "Still not done with it?" RL can't meet his eyes. "No." SB renews again. Next time the book is due, there's a hold on it. SB can't renew it. Library only has one copy. "Sorry; you'll have to bring it back next time." RL doesn't and doesn't and doesn't. Finally admits the book was lost. "Oh, that's too bad." says SB. Looks up the replacement value, and sucks in his breath. "Ooh, that's a pricey one, too. That sucks." Tells RL the amount. RL looks pale. No way he can afford to replace the book. He'll ask whether the library will send a notification the the address he has on file, and asks them not to, because it's his parents' address. Sb says he can update RL's mailing address. RL says no. Can't check out anymore books with a fine that large pending. RL just has to use books at the library after that, which is very inconvenient. Gets snappish when SB asks if he wants to get a coffee. Says he doesn't have time for that. He needs to use his library time to study. SB says, "Look, is it the fine? It's not a big deal. You can pay if off over time." "Yes, it's a big deal," RL hisses. "It's a very big deal to me, Sirius. I can't pay it off. Now or ever. I have student loans coming out of my ears. I don't have steady employment. I have to eat. Don't you get it? I have no money." "Well, could you borrow it from you parents?" RL winces. "No." "I could pay it for you. I don't mind." "I don't want to be in debt to you." "You wouldn't be." RL looks at him, unconvinced. "Wouldn't I? No thanks. Our relationship is unbalanced enough as it is." "I thought we didn't have a relationship." "Our -- whatever this is." Rl waves a hand between them. "I don't want you paying my way, just because you have money and I don't." "OK, then what do you suggest? Because you clearly need to check out books, and you can't right now." "I'll just study here," RL mumbles. "I'll be fine."

RL goes out and works for a few nights. Doesn't come back to the library for a few days. When he comes back, he looks tired, but he has the money in cash. "Here. That's all of it. I can take out books now, right?" "Yeah." RL's hair is hanging down to hide a bruise. SB finds him later, and asks if his parents hit him. "I thought you weren't supposed to ask patrons personal questions." "I wasn't asking as your librarian, I was asking as your friend." "Then no. It wasn't my parents."

[one-sided text conversation, a few messages from SB, asking whether everything is ok. No reply from RL.]

As finals approach, RL becomes more exhausted-looking and strained. There is no kissing happening anymore. SB is becoming more and more worried about RL. Tells him he has to take breaks. It's not good for him. Hasn't even seen him drink water since he sat down this morning. "Have you been spying on me?" "No. I've been worried about you. C'mon, at least come get some coffee. I'm buying." RL is too weak to argue, and coffee sounds lovely. He stands up, takes a few steps, sways, and starts to fall. SB catches him. "Are you OK?" "Just -- a little lightheaded." "When was the last time you ate something?" "I dunno. Yesterday?" "Fuck. I'm buying you lunch. No arguments." RL follows him meekly. SB watches him eat, like a hawk. "You look like hell. why haven't you been eating?" RL shrugs. "You need to eat to keep your strength up and keep your brain working. You want to pass your finals, don't you?" "Yeah." "So?" Rl shrugs again, looking down. "Food costs money." "You can't afford to eat?" "I can't afford to do lots of things." Sb offers to drive RL home at the end of the day. Doesn't want him fainting on the way. "I'm fine now. Thanks." SB is unconvinced. The more he pushes to drive RL home, the more defensive RL gets. SB gets exasperated. "You tell me you can't afford to eat, you won't let me see where you live, and you show up with bruises on your face. what the hell is going on, Remus? If you're in trouble, I want to help you." "Well, you can't. And I won't let you." "Will you at least tell me about it?" "If I do, you might never speak to me again." "That's ridiculous. What could possibly be that bad?" RL finally tells him about his parents kicking him out and being homeless. How he sleeps at shelters sometimes or crashes on a friend's floor, or sleeps rough. SB stares at him. "You made out with a homeless guy. Are you grossed out yet?" "No. But -- you're going to school. You're not homeless homeless. Are you?" "Yeah, I am. A lot of people have jobs and go to school and don't have a place to live. I'm trying to get out of it, but it's kind of hard." "Yeah, I bet," says SB, looking stunned. "You have no idea. You couldn't possibly." "Probably true. Won't you -- let me do something for you?" "No. I don't want your charity." "And I don't like seeing my friends suffer needlessly." "Well, there's one easy solution. You don't have to be friends with me." RL gets up and walks out.

[discussions with BFFs. Does SB tell JP? Does JP think RL was trying to shake SB down for a handout? "I don't think so. He seemed pretty adamant that he didn't want anything from me." "I can't believe you had a crush on a homeless guy." "Have." "What?" "I have a crush on a homeless guy. He's still a great guy. He's just going through some hard stuff."]

Next time RL and SB see each other, RL asks "You aren't going to try to give me anything again are you?" "No. But if you need a friend to talk to, I'm here." "Thanks," RL tells him grudgingly. RL doesn't take him up on it right away.

Eventually RL tells him about having sex with men for money, and being HIV+. Of course SB is shocked, but at the end of it, he still wants to kiss RL and does. Asks if that's why RL didn't want to have a relationship. "Pretty much." "You still don't want to?" "I dunno. Why? Do you?" "Maybe."

Maybe the happy ending is SB getting his own place, and RL graduating from CC. SB says RL can come over any time he needs to. Do SB and James get a place together? And RL brings LE to their housewarming?

#pica's fanfic #discards

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