#go forth and create my friend
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Hey! I just discover you and I REALLY like your art. And I was wandering how did you learn to draw. And can you give tips to improve drawing??
(Sorry if this is bad written, English is not my first language)
Hey op!
Thank you so much for that you like my work! Really appreciate it.
To answer your question, I learned how to draw when I was looking a lot at old "how to draw" books, watching cartoons and just drawing my favorite characters when I was little.
I got inspired when they used to show behind the scenes of a famous tv series back then, and was just amazed at how fast and cool the animators drew.
So I aspire to be just like them.
.
As for tips for improving drawing, I highly recommend using reference, it's the best tip out there. Also, looking and trying with different art styles. Being able to exercise your art skills with different mediums and look can develop your artistry and even discover your own art style.
Never be afraid of exploring your tools, it can help you experiment with the look of your art....
For example, I love doing the line art process of my work, I love line art very much, but I tried experimenting with my style and discovered another art style that I love and can do just as well.





You can learn a lot if you mess around with your software of choice.
Hope this helps op, good luck with you art journey!
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lmao is this panel is the fucking reason why people keep thinking shinichi doesn't feel love from his parents

#maybe im biased but i don't think he say it that much serious at all...#yukiko and yusaku like creating 'coincidences' to meet shinichi#i really do think it's shinichi who wanted to show that he can be independent and his parents go with that#further more. with the influence and skill set he has from his parents i cant imagine they didn't spend time with him at all#i think they r the over bearing parents type up until shinichi live alone#also#whenever he do need them they always there#especially yukiko. she's not only been there for him but also for his friends and ally#she cook for haibara AND teach akai how to cook#even keep going back and forth every week for him since at least vol 60ish (2007)#she just doesn't show herself to the readers#okay sure im ill about her whatever#my dcmk posting#ừ Äáș„y t hay bao biá»n cho fav char cá»§a t Äáș„y#she can do whatever she want forever <3
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just imagine taunting touya or katsuki while having sex⊠asking if he can handle you⊠telling him he canât make you cum
i am losing my mind đ i love ur works!
friend, this isâŠ. diabolical. I LOVE IT. [and thank you.] /á . .á\àž
àŒ á àŒ brief warning for some degradation used by touya. àŒ á àŒ
master list link. àŒ á àŒ @pixelcafe-network
áŻâ
dividers created by me.
àŒ á àŒ katsuki àŒ á àŒ
This is something I can see very clearly happening when you first start having sex with Katsuki.
Itâs the third or fourth time. The burn in your thighs worsens the longer you bounce on Katsukiâs cock, and sweat beads in the valley between your tits, trailing down your sternum.
Surprisingly enough, it didnât become like pulling teeth to convince him to hand over the reigns.
Now, you brace your hands on his firm, flushed chest, supporting your weight, and roll your hips back and forth in his lap. The tip of his cock is pressed firm against your g-spot, and youâre rewarded with hot sparks of pleasure bursting in your pelvis with each slow circle of your hips.
Katsukiâs fingers dig desperately into your waist, nails pinching your skin, and his breath catches when your pussy squeezes him. His lids flutter, a low moan spills from his lips.
You slow your hips, just to tease, and study the open and fucked out expression on his face. Then you grin.
âYou sure you can handle me Katsuki?â You taunt, a sweet heat curling up your spine when you push your hips back even harder.
Katsuki scowls, the pink blush on his cheeks turning scarlet. âFuck you. I can handle you just fine.â He jerks his hips upwards to emphasize his point, cock sinking in even further.
Your small, delighted gasp dances in the air, pussy clenching on its own accord. âPretty sure Iâm fucking you. You already look like youâre about to cum. What, a big bad hero like you not gonna be able to make me cum this time?â With a smug smile you lean in close, nails biting into his pecs as you whisper. âI thought you were supposed to be number one at everything, Dynamight.â
Katsukiâs eyebrow twitches, jaw clenching tight as he grinds his teeth to dust.
âYou think I canât make that fuckinâ pussy cum, princess?â He grabs a handful of your ass and squeezes too hard, lip tugging into a sneer. Your pulse thunders from the sharp sting, the heat in your belly rising a few notches. âYouâre gonna scream my name. Better yet, Iâll make you cry out for âDynamightâ, but he wonât save you.â A wolfish grin curls the corners of his mouth.
Your lips part in surprise as he shoves you off his lap, soft blankets cushioning your fall. He manhandles you like a rag doll onto your belly, yanking your hips into the air, looming over your back to shove your face into the sheets with hand to the base of your skull.
âKatsuki!â Your cry gets muffled by the sheets, a calloused palm raining down on your ass so harshly youâre certain his handprint will remain as evidence. He laughs meanly, readjusts his hips, and pushes the slick tip of his cock to your pussy.
He clicks his tongue behind his teeth in disapproval. âThatâs not the right name, princess.â His voice is strains as he slides back inside you, bottoming out with a harsh smack of his hips against your ass. He plants one hand by your head and tangles his fingers through your hair with the other, yanking your head off the mattress. âGo on, cry out for Dynamight,â he murmurs in your ear, warm breath tickling your skin.
Katsuki draws his hips back, cock slipping out halfway, then snaps them forward to fill you back up.
âDynamight!â You wail, your next breath becoming a choked off gasp.
His chest rumbles with a moan. âThatâs what I was lookinâ for, such a good girl.â
By the end of it, youâre a jelly limbed pile of mush in his bed, voice scratchy from overuse. Youâre never going to let him live down the fact thatâs itâs so damn easy to get under his skin.
àŒ á àŒ touya àŒ á àŒ
Pushing your boyfriend to his limit usually results in being burned.
Itâs not a secret that Touya is terrible at keeping his cool, hotheaded temper rising to the surface whenever you take it a step too far. But, to you, the ends justify the means. Especially when it comes to sex.
âHell yes, fuck yourself back on my cock just like that baby. So goddamn hot,â Touya says through his teeth, one scarred hand resting on your tailbone to guide your movement. Your fingers fist the pillow supporting your head, cheeks blistering with heat as you work his cock in and out of your pussy. The hot, slick friction is amazing, but not enough.
You pant softly, frustration welling in your belly. âYeah? Itâd be even hotter if you put in any effort to make me cum,â you bite back. Touya stiffens behind you, fingers gripping your hips with intent to bruise. He yanks you backwards, forcing a yelp out of you when the tip of his cock shoves up against your cervix. You squirm with discomfort, unable to move an inch.
âThe fuck did you just say?â Thereâs a warning in his tone that prickles at the nape of your neck.
You brush it off, continuing to dig your own grave. âYou heard me.â You glare at him over your shoulder before turning back. âSeems like you canât handle me.â You rest your flushed cheek on the cool fabric of your pillow.
For a second, youâre certain youâve stunned him. Then, the skin on your hips starts to sizzle under his palms. Itâs bright and searing, stealing your breath for a moment, and then youâre forced to roll onto your back.
Touya bullies his cock back inside you without another word, hand molding along the bottom of your jaw to keep your mouth shut. The look in his eyes is wild, a cruel grin on his lips when he leans in close until a centimeter is all that separates you. Your heart jumps to your throat, kickstarting a rush of adrenaline.
âI donât know who the fuck you think you are talking to me like that, sweetheart. But youâre lucky as hell I want to be inside your tight little pussy so badly.â Touya starts to rock his hips. âOtherwise Iâd leave you alone and go jerk myself off.â
Your eyes dart across Touyaâs face, his blue eyes bright with mania. A sick sense of satisfaction curls in your chest as you manage to keep yourself from smiling. Heâs playing right into your hands, just like every other time.
Touya releases your jaw, hooking his hands under the backs of your knees and pushes until they sink into the mattress, folding you like a blanket. The angle makes it feel like his cockâs inside your stomach and you gasp, clutching at scarred wrists.
âRight there Touya, please!â Your back arches with your words, Touya rewarding you with a heavy thrust. He rolls his eyes, but he bends to your whim and picks up his pace. He smirks like heâs the one in control, lids lowering as his gaze stays glued to where he disappears inside you.
âMy little whore,â he coos. âYouâre not gettinâ any relief until you fuckinâ squirt for me, do you understand?â Thereâs no room for argument in his voice, and you nod, goosebumps littering your arms.
Youâll taunt him again and again and fucking again, if only to drive him up the wall and provoke him into rearranging your guts.
#bakugou x reader#bakugou smut#dabi x reader#dabi smut#bakugou katsuki x reader#todoroki touya x reader#todoroki touya smut#todoroki smut#bakugou katsuki smut#mha x reader#mha smut#bnha smut#bakugo x reader
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Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:
(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)
(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)
It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.
Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.
It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.
The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.
So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like⊠I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.
I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.
--
This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm
.
Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..
Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?
Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.
Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??
(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)
Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --
Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?
But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).
BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....
AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....
Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --
As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...
I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-
(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#repeat reblog#Hrmm.... this must be why you all like reading books so much lol⊠option 5.. so few of usâŠ#Also I wonder if this is why I'm a more detail oriented writer. Like if I was making a story I would first have to plot out information#about the location. draw a map of the room the chararcters are in. sketch the characters. their outfits. do a lot of plotting and planning#about how the world and the setting works and what plants might be there and so on and so forth. Because I'm working#more from a factual knowledge base of like 'bullet point list of things I know about this setting/object/person/etc'#rather than actually just being able to see it in my mind. So to really conceptualize a person/place/thing - I have to build it#from the ground up conceptually. Gathering and organizing all the information about it until I have a Full Mental Concept of it - and THEN#I can work with it from there. But maybe someone who just Pictures all that in their brain from the beginning can kind of skip that step.#Like for example I literally have NO idea what any of my characters look like until I draw them. I have to actively decide what they look#like and think about all of those details and create the List Of Factual Information (black hair. green eyes. this tall. etc.) from scratch#. where the friend I talked to on the phone recently said that they literally just like... picture the character. like they just SEE them#doing stuff and know from there. And of course i have an IDEA of what I may want a characters appearnce to be or properties that would suit#them based on their Concept and Personality. but I literally do not know. And even when writing or thinking about characters doing things#I cannot visualize them no matter how hard I try. It's all theoretical factual recall for me. Also my friend said that to THEM the saying#''the characters write themselves'' was interpreted to mean.. they can literally sit down & watch the characters do things and it's as#if they are just creating a story in their mind from thin air. it writes itself. Where for ME I have always interpreted it to mean ''I have#undertaken the process of analyzing and plotting every detail of this character SO deeply that I know them SO well down to even#how they would walk or hold a pencil. and thus because I have such an intimate understanding of every intricacy of their personality. It's#extremely easy to just Put Them Into A Situation and assume exactly how they'd react/ exactly what they'd say because based#on what has factually been determined about them and their personality/worldview/etc. it's just.. literally automatic. The same way that#if you knew a friend's preferences extremely well you could probably easily predict how they'd respond to a birthday gift'' etc.#hmm.. ANYWAY... Which my friend may be an extreme example. I feel like it'd be obvious even for writers without aphantasia to STILL sit#down and plot out details & intimately understand their characters/setting/etc. But the idea that for ANYONE it's like ''yeah I dont have t#think much about designing the layout of a room/place/etc. I just kind of SEE it in my mind and know automatically''.... wild... lol#It makes it seem like I'm always having to do like 500 tons of extra work that other people can just skip .. oughh#''well after writing them for a YEAR and fully conceptualizing their personality and going through 15 sketch drafts. i have FINALLY#decided on an appearance for my character'' ... ''erm.. i have been seeing my character since day 1.. what do you mean?'' ... lol#ANYWAY.. and thank you to those who have sent in asks abt your experiences.. very inchresting.. sorry not posting/responding yet since im#still a bit sick feeling and energy is very scattered/low social ability/etc... even this post i typed over the course of days lol..
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A Package Deal
In which Lando befriends a single mom without even realizing it.
Warnings: single mom. talk of parental death (no death featured on page), lando being a judgey jerk at first, kinda? Pairing: Lando Norris x SingleMom!Reader Word Count: 5.4k words
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109 likes liked by yourdad, BFFsarah, McLaren, and others yourusername Work holiday party with my mini me! yourdad my two favorite girls! >>>yourusername thanks dad! <3
The fairy lights that stretched back and forth across the ceiling of the McLaren Technology Center sparkle down at you, a soft glow illuminating the spacious front lobby. Half a dozen 12 foot Christmas trees dot the cavernous room and tables decorated with rich red, green, and silver accents create intimate seating areas throughout. The only things indicating that the offices were home to McLaren's Formula 1 team were the seven or so F1 cars from past and present, all put on display for tonight's party.
The events team had certainly outdone themselves this year, that was for sure. If there was anything the McLaren events team went hard for every single time, it was the MTC's annual family holiday party. This year though, the entire team had extra reason to celebrate: earlier in the month, the team had brought home the Constructor's Championship for the first time in years.
"Momma, where's Aunt Sarah?" Your six year old daughter Stella asks softly, her little hand tucked securely in yours as she looks around, eyes wide in awe at all the decorations.
"I don't know, munchkin." You reply, grinning down at her. "Do you want to see if we can find her?"
Your best friend Sarah was surely already here as she was one of the heads of the events team. She'd been planning this party for months now, the added pressure from the championship win had nearly driven her mad. A quick text is answered even quicker and you lead Stella towards the massive ballroom that sits on the opposite side of the sleek modern building.
As you walk down the hall, the heels of your stilettos clicking softly, you're surprised to be hit with a wave of nostalgia. You'd been working for McLaren for almost two years now, after Sarah had given the head of product development your resume when you graduated uni with a degree in computer science and data analytics. Marshall, the man who ran the department, had offered you a job as a data analyst on the spot when you came into interview the following week. It had all felt like divine intervention, going from getting pregnant so young and having no other choice but to navigate parenthood alone to finding yourself employed within weeks of graduating. McLaren truly felt like your second home now.
"There's my Stelly Belly!" Sarah cries when she sees Stella and you walking towards her. Without a second thought, your daughter drops your hand and flings herself into the waiting arms of your best friend, one of the few adults the little girl trusts enough to open up to.
"Don't you look pretty tonight?" Sarah coos, nuzzling her head into Stella neck, eliciting a squeal and a cascade of giggles from your little girl. "And your mama looks stunning too!"
Rolling your eyes, you smooth down the front of the red satin dress you'd bought last week. "Are you sure it's not too much?"
Your brows knit together in uncertainty. Ever since having Stella at 19, your life had revolved around the little girl. Everything you did and every choice you made was made because of her and with her best interest in mind. Going to university when she was a newborn had been for her benefit and the time spent away from her while you studied and attended classes were paying off now with your secure job and hefty paycheck. But you weren't used to calling attention to yourself, totally content with working behind a computer screen in your quiet office tucked in the back of the MTC. You came to work, socialized very little, and went home to your daughter. This kind of event was very much out of your comfort zone.
"Stop that." Sarah scolds as she sets Stella down. "You look so good you're going have the mechanics breaking their necks all night long."
"Okay, that's enough." You huff.
"Momma, Sarah says there's holiday crafts over there!" Stella points vaguely towards the other side of the room. "Can we go? Please?"
"Of course, sweetheart. Let's go."
"I'll take her!" Sarah volunteers, capturing Stella's little hand in hers before giving you a look. "Go get a drink or something. Have some fun. Stelly Belly and I will go make all the crafts!"
You watch after your best friend and the other half of your heart as they scamper away, Stella's red velvet dress fluttering behind her. Somewhere deep in the pit of your stomach, a painful clenching feeling takes root. For the past six years, your entire universe has revolved around that little blonde headed girl. Even now, though you spent more time apart from Stella than you cared for because of school for her and work for you, whenever she was out of sight it felt like a bit of you was missing.
Once you see her settle at the table right next to Sarah and begin coloring something in front of her, you turn away and wander towards the open bar. If there was one thing McLaren did right at these kinds of parties, it was provide top tier food and drinks for the employees.
You order a glass of what smells like the most heavenly mulled wine you've ever encountered and find a spot away from the crowd, leaning against a pillar in the shadows of the room. You weren't used to being around so many people and while you were glad Stella seemed to be enjoying herself, you could feel your social battery already draining.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite McLaren employee." A smooth voice interrupts your anxious thoughts.
You blush into your glass of wine, knowing who it was sneaking up behind you before you even turned around. "I'm telling Oscar you said that."
Lando slips in beside you, caramel colored cashmere jumper brushing against your bare arm. "You wouldn't dare." He says, bumping your shoulder gently. You can hear the smile in his voice without even looking.
When you say you don't socialize much at work, there is always going to be one exception to that rule: Lando Norris. He had wandered into your office one day about six months ago looking for the legal department of all places. Lando had sheepishly admitted he may have accidentally signed a contract to be the spokesman for a bank in Singapore while drunk on holiday and needed to see what how mad everyone was going to be. You then had to admit you were, in fact, just a software engineer and not a solicitor and he was not, in fact, anywhere near the legal department.
An unlikely friendship had been born that day though because instead of turning around and scampering away out of sheer embarrassment, Lando had plopped himself down in the chair opposite your desk and spent nearly an hour and a half peppering you with questions about your job.
Lando liked those moments he got to slip away during his busy days at the MTC to see you. It seemed like lately, he would find himself carving out time during his day to make a special visit to your office no matter what else he had scheduled that day. He liked the way you talked to him like he was a normal person and how easily you laughed at his jokes. You never made him feel stupid or inferior for asking questions about whatever project you were working on that day and you never asked him about racing. Not once. You were also the prettiest girl he'd ever seen and he was embarrassingly addicted to making you smile.
"You look stunning tonight." Lando says in a hushed voice. "Red is your color."
Although he's next to you still, Lando manages to steal little looks at you out of the corner of his eye. The red dress you've got on tonight should be illegal and it's showing off every dip and curve of your body. You pride yourself on how well you dress at the office but tended to stick with neutral colors and classic, conservative shapes that weren't jarring and allowed you to fade into the noise of a busy office a bit. The red was totally out of character for you and Lando found himself wanting to buy you an entire closet full of colorful dresses.
Your cheeks go crimson and you're thankful for the dim lights that hide it. "Thank you."
The other thing you're not used to is attention from men. Like your social life, any semblance of a dating life had been put on the back burner when you became a single mom. You didn't much miss it, if you were bing quite honest. Spending time with Stella was better than wasting a night on a man that would only end up disappointing you.
So when someone like Lando complimented you on the dress you wore you don't quite know how to react.
"Momma! Momma, look what Auntie Sarah and I made!" Stella interrupts anything that's about to come out of Lando's mouth when she runs up brandishing what looks to be a fairy wand tied with dozens of glittery ribbons.
You crouch down, not missing the way Lando stiffens beside you, and take the plastic wand out of Stella's hand. "Is this a magic wand?" You ask, voice breathy with awe.
"Yeah! Aunt Sarah helped tie the ribbons on after I picked them. They're all glittery and match Elsa's ice queen dress."
You smile, Elsa had always been Stella's favorite Disney princess. "That is so special, Stelly Belly."
A few feet away, Sarah takes in how close you and Lando were before Stella interrupted and smirks. "Come on, Stella. I think I saw a cookie decorating contest starting over by the wands!"
You stand, eyeing your best friend. "I can take her, Sarah. I'm sure you want to mingle."
"Nope! Stay. Talk. Be merry!" Sarah's eyes bounce between you and Lando and your cheeks heat at the implication.
Beside you, Lando rubs at his jaw trying to process the information he's just learned. Momma? This girl, cute as a button, was calling you mom? He rifles through his memory, trying to think of any time you'd ever mentioned being a mom and he can't come up with a single thing. And he's pretty sure he remembers everything you've ever said to him.
"You have a daughter." Lando says it more as a statement than a question and you wince.
This was always the part where you tended to lose people. Being as young as you were, you were used to people being put off by the fact that you had a daughter. A lot of people your age weren't ready for kids yet and had a hard time figuring you out because you had such radically different priorities. Neither set of priorities was better than the other, just different.
"I do. Her name is Stella." You respond, leaning against the pillar once again. The cool marble sends shivers down your back as you prepare to lose someone who had made more of an impact on you than you realized.
"You never said anything about her." He observes, his tone unreadable.
"You never asked." You shrug, trying not to get defensive. "Her pictures are all over my office, Lan. I've never hid the fact that I have Stella."
Lando thinks back, recalling the office he's spent so much time in lately. You're right, of course. There are bits of Stella all over the place in the drawings on your desk to the school picture that sits near the spider plant close to the window. But somehow Lando had never noticed anything else other than you.
He rubs at the back of his neck, "I guess I just assumed she was your niece or something."
"Nope. She's all mine."
"And her dad?" The moment the question slips from Lando's mouth, he regrets it. His eyes shutter closed but not before he catches a glimpse of the way you flinch.
He hates himself for thinking he deserves to be privy to this information. For being so bold as to ask for the sordid details of your life when all you are to each other is a casual work flirtation. He hates himself for implying that you'd ever flirt with him when there was someone else in the picture. Or worse, that you now have to relive a painful story behind why there wasn't.
"You don't have to answer that." God, he was so good at speaking before thinking, wasn't he? It had gotten him into so much hot water with the press this year during the championship run and here he was again, putting his foot in his mouth like an idiot.
"It's fine." You sigh, knowing that anyone who wants to be in your life is going to have to hear the story at some point. You just hadn't anticipated it happening with Lando, having been perfectly content with the safety of your innocent work flirtation.
"I had Stella when I was 19, her dad was killed in a car accident when she was eight months old. She turned six in September.â
The silence that stretches between you is heavy, clashing with the light and festive mood that swirls around you.
"Christ. I'm sorry, love."
You hate how painful that tugging sensation on your heart is when Lando calls you 'love'.
Shrugging, you hope you feign nonchalance well enough to fool him. You know it doesnât.
âListen, I should go check on Sarah and Stella, make sure Stella doesn't sweet talk Sarah into a puppy or something. Those two together is how I ended up with a kitten last year."
The brightness in your voice is all for show but Lando sees right through it.
You're gone before he can get a word in though.

yourusername (private) posted



102 likes liked by BFFsarah, yourdad, yoursister, and others yourusername Quick trip into London for some last minute pressies! yourdad I'm a size Rolex in silver and gold please! >>>yourusername Ha Ha Ha, very funny father BFFsarah Brave brave girl! >>>yourusername brave or stupid, you decide!!!
"Come on, sweet girl, let's find your Papa a Christmas present so we can get out of this mad house."
You tug at Stella's hand, who was currently practically drooling over a display of sparkly gold and diamond jewelry in Harrods jewelry department. Around you, crowds swirl and people jostle each other as they all hustle to pick out their precious gifts before Santa's big night. Why you had chosen to come into London the weekend before Christmas was a mystery, but you were fully convinced that you had lost it when you had agreed to come to Harrods at Stella's request.
"But this necklace is so pretty, Momma!" Stella whines, eyes dragging over the diamond necklace on display in front of her.
"Yes, I know but I don't think your grandpa wants a diamond necklace for Christmas. Let's go up to the fifth floor where the kitchen gadgets are! You know how much he loves to cook!"
Stella rolls her eyes, which you choose to ignore. For all of her attitude today, Stella wasn't usually an ornery child. She was very well behaved and quite reserved so you gave her extra grace when it was crowded and loud like this. You knew she got overstimulated easily, just like you did.
"Fine." She sighs, casting one last longing look at the display. "Maybe Santa will bring me the necklace." She mutters and you have to tamp down a laugh.
You take Stella's hand in yours, despite her giving you another look of contempt. She was much too big of a girl to be holding her mother's hand, thank you very much. You ignored the glare and squeezed at your daughter's hand, knowing that she's not really angry at you.
Up on the fifth floor, the homewares section is significantly quieter than where you just were. Stella spots a display of colorful Kitchen Aid mixers that she scampers over to while you wander over to the espresso machines while reminding her to stick close. Out of the corner of your eye, you keep watch over her while debating the merits of different coffee machines.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite McLaren employee out in the wild." A velvety smooth voice sends familiar shivers down your spine.
"Favorite? You've been avoiding me since the holiday party." You quip without taking your eyes off the silver machine in front of you, knowing exactly who it is beside you without even looking.
Ever since the holiday party nearly two weeks ago, you hand't seen Lando at all despite knowing that he was at the MTC at least a few days. You hated that you knew that most of that time he had been out of the country, skiing in France then golfing in Spain. You also hated that you kept track of the amount of times you had known he was in Woking at the MTC and hadn't even bothered to stop in and say 'hi' to you.
Lando's hand rubs at the back of his neck. "I know. I'm sorry." His voice is low, tinged with guilt.
"Listen, it's fine." You turn to face him for the first time and your traitorous heart thuds a little harder in your chest. That mullet you teased him about so much at first had really grown on you and boy did it look good today.
"It's not like we're friends, Lando." You don't work as hard as you probably should to keep the frustration out of your voice. "You don't owe me anything and it's the off season for you. I shouldn't have said anything."
Lando frowns at you, confusion knitting his brow together. "We...we arenât friends?" The hurt in his voice was unmistakable, tugging painfully at something in the pit of your stomach.
Your eyes shutter close at the look on his face. Lando might play the lovable goofball for the public and in the press but you knew better. You knew that he was a pretty big softie at heart and you immediately regretted your words, knowing that they would have struck him deep.
"What was I supposed to think, Lan? You seemed pretty put off when you found out about Stella and then you just..." You pause, unsure of where this anger was coming from. You hadn't really realized how hurt you had bene by his sudden ghosting until this very moment. "You just sort of disappeared. It's fine. I'm totally used to it."
The vulnerability in your voice makes Lando's heart clench painfully. He had been spooked initially about you having a daughter and he knew his reaction probably left a lot to be desired. He just had been so blindsided by the appearance of your little girl that night that he hadn't handled it well. Lando had been unwilling to admit before that night during the holiday party that he had been becoming more and more attached to you and he didn't know where Stella fell into place between you and him. It scared him, adding an entirely new layer to the budding friendship that you two had struck up. A friendship that he had been wanting to see if it could have progressed into more but now...now he didn't know.
"Momma, can we get Papa a mixer so he can make me more cakes next year?" Stella's small voice interrupts that awkward silence that had fallen between you and Lando.
You can't help the chuckle that leaves your lips despite yourself. "Stella, I don't think that's a very good reason to gift someone something."
"I don't know, sounds like solid reasoning to me." Lando chimes in, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looks down at Stella. "Hi, I'm Lando." He crouches down so he's eye level with your daughter.
"That's a funny name." Stella regards Lando with a suspicious look. Stella is a quiet little mouse of a child most of the time and doesn't easily trust adults. There are very few people she's comfortable which is why her comment catches you off guard.
"Stella!" You scold, face going crimson at the lack of filter on her.
To your relief, Lando just chuckles. "I guess you're right, it is kind of a funny name. But I think Stella is a funny name too."
Stella' narrows her eyes but then she seems to realize he's just teasing her and she smiles. "I like you." She declares simply, as if deciding to be Lando's friend is the easiest thing in the world.
A fact that you already know is true.
"I'm hungry. Can we go get dinner now?" Stella turns back to you now and you startle a bit when you realize what time it is.
"Let me take you two to dinner. There's a place down the street that has some of the best chicken nuggets in all of England." Lando's offer throws you off for a moment you're so surprised. "As an apology for making you question our friendship."
Stella gasps as if that is the most exciting suggestion she's ever heard in her life. Your stomach does a quick swoop at spending more time with the driver outside of the office. You are a bit hesitant, pride still stinging from when he ignored you after the holiday party, but Stella looks so excited you find yourself nodding.

Twenty minutes and one espresso machine later, you have the giant package shipped off to your house before walking towards a cozy pub that Lando suggests. It's strange to you, walking down the crowded streets with Stella tucked between you and Lando, listening to her prattle away. Once in a while, Lando shoots you a look over the top of your daughter's head that is all amusement and happiness.
Meanwhile, you're reduced to silence, listening in awe to Stella's babbling. She has always been a reserved little girl, following in her mother's footsteps of being an introvert. She doesn't open up to just anyone and even when she does find an adult she likes, it takes her quite a bit of time to talk to them the way she's talking to Lando as he navigates the three of you towards your destination.
Around you, people bustle up and down the sidewalk, the streets of London an absolute hive of activity and it's a bit overwhelming. You're momentarily worried about Stella, knowing she doesn't do very good in crowds just like you but then something catches your eye that has your heart leaping into your throat. Captured in Lando's large hand is Stella's tiny one, a silent gesture of affection from your six-year-old. The way your chest squeezes at the sight has tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.
Lando catches the look on your face, full of awe and something else he can't quite place, and when your gaze snags on his moments later he gives you a dazzling smile. When Stella had reached out to take Lando's hand a few blocks ago, he had panicked a bit. He wasn't too experienced with kids, his nieceâs being much younger than Stella, but he felt something deep in his chest that told him when the little girl beside him reached for his hand, it was a sincere sign of trust from her.
"Here we are." Lando says once you're safely across the road. "I hope you're ready for the best chicken nuggets in all of London."
Dinner is a loud affair, Stella peppering questions left and right to Lando and Lando expertly fielding them. He even gets some questions in edgewise and has both you and Stella laughing the entire meal. It's the most relaxed Lando's seen you the entire time he's known you. Despite his initial reservations at spending time with someone who has a child, he finds himself not wanting the evening to end. He's never been so thankful for last minute gift requests in his entire life.
Your bellies are full when you spill out onto the sidewalk, the chilly London air biting at your cheeks. It was going to be a cold train ride home. You reach into your tote bag to pull out a scarf and hat, tugging both on Stella despite her yowls of displeasure.
"Stella." You sigh, finally getting her to leave her hat on her head after a tense few moments as Lando watched on, smile sitting at the edge of his lips. "Come on, it's cold tonight and you know the train isn't much better."
"Train?" Lando asks, frown appearing on his face.
"We took the train into the city today. Someone wanted an adventure." You look pointedly at your daughter, who just shrugs, totally unfazed by the chilly evening air.
"That's like, a forty-five minute trip! On the train? At night? Alone?"
Something twists in Lando's stomach at the thought of you and Stella all alone on the train at night. He knows the trains are, objectively, safe and you'd probably be fine but it just doesn't sit right with him knowing that he'd have to leave both of you at a train station unable to be with you in case something happened.
"I know." You breathe, knowing that the moment Stella sits down on the train she's going to be out like a light and you're going to have a very grumpy six-year-old on your hands on the other end of the line. "I don't have a choice, I'm not ordering an Uber home. It'll be fine, Lando. We do this all the time."
The thought of you navigating the crowded train alone with the tiny wisp of a girl that tucked her hand back into his as soon as she got close enough to him hurts a surprising amount. It's a jarring feeling, one that he's totally unprepared for. His memory darts back to the night he found out you had a daughter. He thought for sure the budding chemistry between you would fizzle out. He had thought that he wasn't interested in getting involved with someone who had a child because it complicated things to a degree he wasn't sure he was ready for. He still struggled with looking after himself successfully sometimes. Dating someone with a child? Up until this very moment, Lando thought that was completely off the table.
"You're not taking the train home. I'll drive you." Lando's voice has an edge of finality in it that tells you this is going to be a fight, one that you're not sure you're prepared to fight.
You blink up at him, unable to form a response for several moments. Beside you, Stella cheers. "Yes! No boring train!"
"Woah, slow down." You warn, shaking your head. "Lando, I appreciate the offer but we can't." Stella looks absolutely crestfallen next to you as she yanks her hand out of Lando's grasp and crosses her arms over her chest.
"Why not?" Lando's frown mirrors Stella's and you nearly laugh.
Beside the fact that he couldn't stand the thought of you on the train by yourself with Stella this late at night, Lando didn't really want the night to end. He had sat across from you at dinner and there were several moments while Stella chattered on that he caught your gaze and you had given him the most prettiest smile he'd ever seen.
"Well, for one, Stella needs a booster seat to ride in a car and I don't think those come standard in Ferrari's or McLaren's."
"For the record, I drove my Range Rover into the city." Lando retorts before glancing around the crowded city street. "Look! There's a Mamas & Papas across the street! That's where my brother got my nieceâs carseat a few months ago. I'm sure they sell booster seats too."
You can't help but stare at Lando, a bit dumbfounded. When you had started getting to know the driver months ago, you had what you had thought was a pretty accurate idea of who he was off the track: young, sinfully good looking, deeply unserious, and only interested in partying and having a good time. But voluntarily spending an evening with you and your daughter? Offering to buy Stella a booster so he could drive you home? The way Lando surprised you in that moment had you swaying on your feet a bit.
"Can we, Momma? Please! I want to drive home with Lando!"
There are two sets of big puppy dog eyes turned on you and you find yourself tossing your hands up in the air in defeat. "That's not fair! You two can't team up against me!"
Lando looks down at Stella, mischievous grin overtaking his handsome face. "I think we won, Stelly Belly." He shout-whispers, eyes sliding over to you, giving you a wink.
"You two are going to be trouble together, aren't you?" Is the last thing you say before Lando grabs your hand and drags you towards the shop to buy your daughter a booster seat.
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Babyâs first christmas
Tags: JJK men x fem!Reader, you two have a kid, tooth rotting fluff, JJK men being dads, tis the season, kind of suggestive on Satoruâs and Sukunaâs. Not proofread bc itâs christmas.
An: Happy holidays! No Choso because I never really include him in my JJK men as dads series. Sorry Choso enjoyers!! Also, the kids names have no affiliation with the names of anyone in JJK. They were names I thought up a while ago. This is a little short because I wrote it on Christmas Eve lol.
Incl: Satoru, Suguru, Nanami, Toji, Sukuna



SATORU
This would be Satoruâs first Christmas at home with a family. His clan didnât celebrate Christmas, and even if they did, Satoru knew santa wasnât real from a very young age.
He stared at you and your infant son as you rocked him back and forth. Satoru swore he could feel his heart swell three sizes larger. He knew that realistically his son, Aoi, wouldnât remember this Christmas, but he wanted to create traditions.
He wanted to have something that he could look forward to every year.
âWhere are you going?â You asked your husband with a warm laugh as he grabbed his keys and wallet. It was the night before Christmas. Everything would be closed by now, and they wouldnât open until the day after Christmas.
âDonât worry about it, Sweets. Iâll be home soon.â He assured you with his signature grin. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to both yours and Aoiâs head. His small baby stirred, making the cutest grunts and sleep noises. âMake sure to leave some cookies out for Santa. I think he should be stopping by soon.â
You rolled your eyes playfully at your husbandâs antics. It was never a dull moment between you two.
âI think my sweet-toothed husband will eat them before Santa gets to them.â You remarked at Satoru headed towards the door. He flashed you a cheeky smile.
âNo promises. Itâs the thought that counts anyways.â He said before heading out into the snowy night. You shook your head at him, knowing he was likely up to no good.
You continued rocking Aoi in the rocking chair for a little while. Aoi could be a very fussy baby when mama or dada wasnât holding him, so you werenât taking any chances of putting him down just yet.
Instead, you carefully wrapped him up in a sling baby carrier, and you popped some cookies in the oven. Satoru helped you make the dough yesterday, and you two had already cut them out into various Christmas shapes.
Your mind was elsewhere as you cleaned up the kitchen and thought about what all needed to be done tomorrow. Satoruâs clan didnât celebrate Christmas, but you had planned a surprise Christmas party and invited all of his friends to come celebrate with you three.
After a while, the oven beeped signaling that the cookies were at the perfect level of doneness. You put on your oven mitts on before carefully removing the pan. As you sat it down on the stove, the sound of tumbling down the chimney caught your attention.
Was there an animal trapped in your chimney? You grimaced at the thought of trying to save a rabid animal from the confines of your chimney.
You stepped over to the chimney to investigate from afar. With Aoi in your arms, you didnât want to put your son in harmâs way.
Luckily for you, your goofy husband stared back up at you. His bright blue eyes were unmistakable, even while he had on a fake Santa costume with a fake beard. His face was smeared with black marks from the coal in your fireplace.
âHo, ho, ho..â He laughed in a thick bellowing tone as he crawled out of the fireplace.
âSatoru, what are you doing? Youâre going to scar Aoi.â You laughed as you walked over to your husband, wiping some smears off his cheek.
âI donât know this Satoru you speak of. He must be on my naughty list. Ho, ho, ho.â Fake Santa continued, shooting you a small wink. He really wasnât going to give up this act easily, was he?
He didnât. Satoru played as Santa, placing a few gifts under the tree and munching on some homemade cookies and milk in the act. He had to perfect his Santa persona for when Aoi would be able to form memories.
Your real husband conveniently didnât return until after âSantaâ had left, and he even had the audacity to pout about not receiving any gifts from Santa. You had to politely inform him that he was on the naughty list this year, which promptly had Satoru smirking at you.
âBummer. Santa even forgot to leave me a lump of coal. If only there was another way for me to be punished for being on the naughty listâŠâ
SUGURU
You were dreading Christmas. A new mom with twin baby girls and several houses to go to just didnât sound like any fun. Of course, your husband, Suguru, would offer to help in any way he could, but you both knew you were going to be exhausted and overstimulated by the end of the day.
âWe donât have to go see everyone.â Suguru murmured into your ear. It was the night before Christmas, and you had just been anxiously carrying on about how badly you didnât want to get out tomorrow.
His large palm rubbed up and down your arm in a soothing manner as he cradled you in his strong arms. Your head was pressed against his chest, listening to the steady drum of his heart.
âThat would be rude.â You murmured.
âAs if Iâve ever cared about being rude.â Suguru retorted with a calm smile. He then reached over and flicked off the bedside lamp, cascading your bedroom in darkness.
You two snuggled in each otherâs arms, sharing lazy kisses and sweet nothings. It felt like you only managed to blink your eyes before one of your girls were crying over the baby monitor.
Patting the bed next to you, you find nothing but slightly warmed sheets. Geto mustâve already gotten up with the girls. One look at the baby cam has your heart melting.
Your husbandâs sleepy eyes are half closed as he has a baby in each arm. He was quietly trying to shush them, speaking softly, âPlease, donât wake up mama. Let her sleep in today, girls. She deserves to rest easy on Christmas.â
You pushed the covers up off of you, unable to resist seeing this moment for yourself. You lean against the nursery doorway as you watch him continue shushing and rocking the twins.
âMerry Christmas, Suguru.â You finally spoke, giving away your presence. Your husband subtly flinched before turning around to meet your gaze.
âMerry Christmas, darling.â He responded before walking over and pressing a kiss to your lips. âI have a surprise for you.â He murmured into your presence.
A crease formed between your eyebrows as you wondered just what he was up to. He carefully nodded towards the window, signaling for you to take a look outside.
The bright light reflecting off the white powdery substance had you shielding your eyes. It mustâve snowed at least 7 inches throughout the night.
âWeâre snowed in.â Geto quietly chuckled, pleased with the turn of luck. You two didnât have to haul the twins to several houses, and you two could just rest easy at home.
NANAMI
Your husband had always been an early riser. He was consistently up earlier than you, even on christmas morning. You were normally really into Christmas, but you never managed to wake up before him.
Even this morning, you drowsily rolled over in your shared bed, trying to find your husbandâs presence, but he was no where to be found.
You slowly sit up, rubbing your eyes free from sleep. You were honest surprised that Hana didnât wake you two up during the night and Yuji hadnât woke you up either.
Getting out of bed, you see Nanami had already placed your robe and slippers next to the bed for your convenience. You smile before slipping those on and heading downstairs.
âNanamin, does this bacon need to be flipped?â You hear Yujiâs voice ask. The soft sounds of Bluey playing on the living room TV also fill your ears, and Hanaâs soft babbling can be heard as well.
âYes, go ahead and flip it.â Your husband instructs Yuji. You two had adopted Yuji after the events at Jujutsu Tech. He needed a family, and you two had a loving home that was painfully empty. Now, it was never a dull moment between Yuji and his little sister, Hana.
You quietly creep into the kitchen, and you smile at the sight. Your husband was clad in a white apron that said, âKiss the chefâ. You had gotten it for him long ago, and he still wears it to this day. He was working making some pancakes while Yuji was tending to the bacon.
Hana was in her bouncer chair in the living room. Nanami rarely ever parked her in front of the TV, but walking around with her in a sling wasnât an option this morning, not when Yuji was frying bacon and she could be popped with it.
âMerry Christmas, you two.â You said, finally announcing your presence. Yuji looked up at you before his lips turned into a pout, and Nanami let out a small chuckle.
âGood morning, darling. You couldnât sleep for just a few more minutes? Yuji wanted to give you breakfast in bed as a christmas present.â Your husband walked over to you, and he pressed a kiss against your temple.
âAw, sorry, Yuu. I was excited to see you and Hana open up gifts.â You said with an empathetic smile, and Yujiâs pout vanishes.
âThatâs alright! I can give you breakfast on the couch. Itâs almost as good as breakfast in bed.â His bright smile quickly returns to him.
âItâs perfect, Yuu.â You say before ruffling his soft pink hair. He was such a good kid. He deserved the world and more.
A little while later, your family was sat upon the couch. Nanami was passing out Christmas gifts. Hana was sat in your lap as you helped her unwrap her gifts. She, of course, wouldnât remember this, but this would be your favorite memory of all time.
âLetâs give Hana and Yuji another little sibling next Christmas.â You mutter to Nanami as you two watch Yuji and Hana play together on the floor.
âEw! I heard that!â Yuji pouted, causing for both you and Nanami to laugh.
TOJI
Sweet baby Megumi was just three days old on his first Christmas. You and Toji had been hoping that the doctors were going to finally discharge you and Megumi, so you two could go home on Christmas.
Itâs not that you two had any plans. You both came from broken families, but even if you did have family, you two had agreed on no visitors for the first week. You didnât want to risk Megumi or you getting sick, especially since all the nasty sickness goes around during December.
You two also just wanted to get use to life with a baby. This was your first, and you were young. There was going to be a small adjustment period, and you wanted to worry about that without also worrying about visitors.
Toji was laid up in the hospital bed with you. He didnât care about the damn policy. His wife just had a baby. He was going to hold her in his arms as much as he could.
Megumi was in your arms, sleeping away peacefully. âHeâs got your eyelashes. Iâm jealous.â You murmur to Toji as both of you admire your beautiful baby.
âHeâs got your mouth.â Toji offered as consolation, and you let out a small giggle.
âThatâs all he got from me. I carried him for nine months, and he had the audacity to look like he fell from your ass.â You comment back, making Toji grin down at you.
âSorry, ma. Those Zenin genes are unfortunately strong.â He pressed a kiss to your forehead. âIf I could have it my way, he would look just like you.â
âNo,â You whispered with a heartfelt smile. Tears blurred some of your vision as your hormones were still so out of balance from birthing a child. âHeâs perfect. I love him so much already.â
âDonât cry, ma.â Toji muttered as he used the pad of his thumb to wipe away your tears. This would only be the 20th time you cried over how much you love your son.
A knock at the door startles you both, and your doctor walks in with a pleasant smile. âMerry Christmas, you two.â
âMerry Christmas.â You respond back in a hesitant tone. The thought of the doctor informing both of you that you had to stay another day worried you to no end. Both you and Toji were going stir crazy inside that hospital room.
âIâm sure both of you are ready to take your little bundle of joy home.â The doctor says as he flips through your chart briefly. âSo, Iâm going to let you go home today.â
Sighs of relief fill the room. It was probably the best Christmas gift you had ever gotten.
Scratch that, seeing Toji do the âhot dad walkâ was definitely the best Christmas gift you had ever gotten. He was wearing a black hoodie, carrying a carseat with your son all bundled in, and he was walking out to the car as a nurse pushed you in a wheelchair (you tried denying the wheelchair, but itâs âhospital policyâ).
âWeâre bad parents.â You cried on the way home. Toji was flabbergasted by how quickly your mood could change.
âWeâre not bad parents. Why would you say that, ma?â He asked as he reached over and rubbed your thigh while driving the car. Megumi was peacefully asleep in the back seat.
âWe didnât get our son anything for Christmas.â You mumble through the tears. Megumi was actually due on December 26th, but he decided to come a little early. You two decided that a newborn didnât need gifts, and you were heavily pregnant, so the idea of wrapping any gifts didnât spark you any joy.
âDoll, we literally gave him life. Besides, Iâve only known the brat for a couple days. How should I know what to get him?â Toji jokes, trying to make you feel better about the lack of gifts. You let out a small laugh in response.
âI promise, ma. Weâll give him a better Christmas than you and I ever got next year.â
SUKUNA
âMy son will worship no false deity. Iâm the only god getting worshipper around here.â Sukuna declared as he covered up Ryuâs ears with his hands.
âSanta Claus is not a false deity, Kuna. Heâs a fairytale.â You respond back to your husband as you roll your eyes. Itâs not even like your sweet baby could even understand what you two were saying about Santa anyways.
It was his first Christmas, and you were trying to introduce both Sukuna and Ryu to the human traditions for the holiday season. It seemed like neither of them were having it.
âDo curses do anything for the winter solstice?â You ask Sukuna, looking up at him from your seat on the floor as you help Ryu unwrap another gift from Santa you and Sukuna.
âWe eat a virgin.â The king of curses reply without skipping a beat, causing you to look up at him with disgust and horror. âOh, donât worry, flower. Youâre safe. I made sure of that long ago.â
You roll your eyes and give him a pity laugh. Sukuna thinks heâs so funny sometimes. âYeah, I didnât think anyone would mistake me for a virgin when I have your baby on my hip constantly.â
âYou should have another on your other hip.â Sukuna comments with a wolfish grin. Ever since you pushed Ryu, Sukuna had been gunning to get you pregnant again.
âI think one half-curse, half-human baby is enough, Kuna.â You say with a small laugh while jingling a toy in front of Ryuâs face. He giggles happily as he reaches out to grab it from you.
âYouâre the only human that gets away with defying me. You know that? I wouldâve already dismantled anyone else.â He comments, and you roll your eyes once again. âI should inform Krampus of your disobedience.â
âWait- curses believe in Krampus?â You ask as you look back up at him, finally intrigued by what he was saying.
âHeâs real. There is no believing in him. He goes around and punishes the naughty children, even curse spawn have to worry about Krampus.â Sukuna informed as he propped his head up with his hand and gave a lazy smile. One of his favorite pastimes was teaching you about his culture. He loved how you always listened and absorbed the information while trying to relate it to human culture.
âIsnât being naughty what curse spawn are meant to be?â You question as you cock an eyebrow. Sukuna gives a low chuckle in response.
âYes, but theyâre still expected to obey their elders as Ryu is expected to obey us.â His large palm gently pats Ryu head, and your son looks up at him with the most innocent of smiles.
Most babies are inherently terrified of Sukuna as if they could sense the danger from him, but Ryu loved his dad and never showed any signs of fear. The sight of you and Ryu playing with toys on Christmas morning was enough for Sukunaâs heart to grow three sizes bigger.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#fanfic#drabble#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#jjk drabble#jjk suguru#jjk toji#jjk nanami#jjk sukuna#jjk men x you#jjk men x reader#jjk men#jjk men as dads#gojou satoru x reader#satoru x reader#jjk satoru#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#nanami x y/n#husband nanami#nanami x reader#toji x y/n#toji x reader
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Comparing Phaidei and Other Hoyo MLM Ships (Part 2)
<- Part 1 is back that way.
In the first part of this, I laid out some of the ways Phaidei fits within Hoyo's normal pattern for queer-coded MLM ships: They're equals but opposites, perfectly matched; they've ostensibly got a "rivalry" as a cover for their laser focus on each other; their models are deliberately placed closer together in cutscenes than other characters' are, and they're intentionally paralleled to a heterosexual married couple. All of these are traits that other Hoyo MLM pairs also show, a sort of foundational standard for Hoyo's queer-coded MLM ships.
But then Phaidei just took a huge side-step around all of them, and started doing things that Hoyo hasn't done in any of their other recent games. (Tiny aside here: HI3 does wildly different things with its characters; I think that being first published when Hoyo was a more obscure company allowed them to get away with things--like the Bronya/Seele kiss and Welt and Co.'s cross-dressing, for example--that "modern" Hoyo games cannot get away with due to greater levels of public scrutiny.)
I said it in the other post, but it bears repeating:
You really aren't imagining things--Phaidei is actually different.
So I wanted to take a closer look at what was making it feel so unique, by comparing its differences to other popular Hoyo MLM ships.
Here we go:
1. The Feeling's Mutual
There was no heterosexual explanation for this framing.
In Part 1 of this post, I noted that Hoyo has a typical personality pattern they follow when queer-coding their male characters, particularly in using "difficult" personalities to create an artificial sense of distance between the characters. If one character is angry all the time, or tsundere, or using sarcasm to cover for their fear of getting close to others, Hoyo can mobilize that personality gap as a shield to give anti-LGBT+ players plausible deniability. Hell, there are people still out there genuinely convinced that Alhaitham and Kaveh have a toxic relationship. There are people out there saying Ratio despises Aventurine because he was mean to him one (1) time while undercover. That's how effective injecting a little bit of bickering into a queer-coded relationship is.
Hoyoverse is very, very familiar with creating this delicate balance of teasing the ship while feeding anti-LGBT+ players and censors just enough "Look, they don't like each other; they're arguing!" contrary material to avoid setting anyone off.
Which... makes it absolutely bizarre that they made almost no effort to do this with Phainon and Mydei.
Sure, on paper we're told that Phainon and Mydei are rivals. Phainon describes it as "He's both my friend and my foe." And yes, they have their quips (Phainon's "It's exhausting talking to you sometimes" comes to mind).
But animosity--the genuine desire to one-up each other--is completely missing from Mydei and Phainon's "rivalry." They aren't Sasuke and Naruto. They aren't Izuku and Bakugou. They don't actually even want to beat each other--they want to be equals. If you defeat Mydei in the 3.0 competition, Phainon immediately folds and calls the contest off. If you let Mydei win, Mydei immediately folds and declares no contest.
Although Aglaea notes they compete because they're "impulsive youths," what she was actually missing is that Mydei only let himself be goaded into Phainon's hot bath competition because he was worried about Phainon and wanted to take Phainon's mind off the failed trial. Then, immediately after beating Phainon in the hot bath challenge, he lets Phainon win the "take more people home" challenge, to tie up their score again.
In fact, Mydei and Phainon's relationship is so devoid of the actual back-and-forth typical of other Hoyoverse MLM ships that at one point, Phainon even asks for it:
(Though he's equally quick to demand compliments from Mydei too.)
Instead, virtually every line from Phainon and Mydei through both 3.0 and 3.1 reiterates that they care deeply about each other, and are concerned for not only each other's physical well-being but also each other's mental and emotional health. They freely and consistently support each other both on the battlefield and off, confessing their struggles and relying on each other for advice. Whenever they're separated, the game intentionally hammers home how worried they are without the other around.
Over and over and over again, the devs tell you how well Mydei and Phainon know each other and how much effort they're putting in to take care of each other:
The game doesn't let us forget that they are one another's "closest person," and that the respect they have for each other is mutual. Although I wouldn't go so far as to speculate they actually recognize romantic feelings, canon makes it clear that they are aware their emotional connection goes both ways. They don't just value each other's battle prowess, intelligence, or usefulness--they value each other's feelings explicitly, every single time emotions are expressed between them in the game's text.
In fact, Mydei even scolds Phainon for approaching their goodbye with a straight face; he knows that Phainon is hurt by their parting, and he wants Phainon to be honest, as Mydei is being honest in turn:
The rainbows in the background really sold the scene, ngl.
This isn't Renheng, where resentment has taken away any glimmer of joy. This isn't Ratiorine, where even if Aventurine were in a more stable mindset, Ratio's inability to spit out his feelings might keep them from going anywhere. Even with Haikaveh, the Hoyo ship known for Alhaitham's devotion, Kaveh's own struggles and refusal to accept Alhaitham's kindness are an active plot point keeping them from progressing. Maybe you could draw a parallel between Phaidei and Cyno/Tighnari for levels of "mutual," but even then, Cynari interactions are often left off-screen or in the background, for the players to fill in the blanks. On the contrary, Phainon and Mydei's fondness for each other is constantly in our faces.
The devs wanted players to know Phainon and Mydei are invested. We're supposed to see how much they want to be near each other.
More than that, we're supposed to understand just how deeply they trust each other.
Okay, okay, yes, I know this is massive foreshadowing to the inevitable betrayal and tragedy impending (come on, Amphoreus wouldn't qualify as an ancient Greek drama without it!), but I think that a lot of people are missing the key here: By this point in the story, Mydei already knows how he's going to die. He knows someone is going to stab him in the back and finally end his immortal life. When he entrusts Phainon with this secret, he's not trusting Phainon to keep him safe. He's trusting Phainon to do the opposite.
He's telling Phainon: "I want it to be you."
If the prophecy can't be changed and fate is set in stone, then Mydei wants Phainon to be with him in his final moments, to be the one to finally set him free from the "curse" he perceives his own immortality to be. Of course it would be Hoyo who makes "I want to die by yours hands" into a declaration of ultimate trust, but it is an explicit statement of trust, in a way that very few--if any--other modern Hoyoverse MLM ships get to show each other on screen.
Phew, that was a lot!
But I think this is one of the clearest and most defining differences between Phainon and Mydei and other Hoyo MLM ships--the devs took away players' ability to claim they don't get along. You might still be able to call them "just friends" or "brothers in arms," but unlike Alhaitham and Kaveh who fight, Ratiorine who scheme, or Renheng who are actual enemies, Mydei and Phainon explicitly like each other. They trust each other. They seek one another out.
It might seem like a small thing on paper, but this is actually a big thing in practice. Hoyo is pushing the boundary here, reducing the avenues for deniability. It is harder for anti-LGBT+ fans to claim that Phainon and Mydei don't have obvious in-game ship-tease than for virtually any other modern Hoyoverse MLM ship. (By the way, this is why people have resorted to calling Phaidei "industry plant yaoi;" because they can't deny the queer-coding is actually there this time, they instead have to try to de-legitimize the ship in other ways, such as dismissing it as nothing more than bait.)
This also means Hoyo has less of an "out" if people start to really question. It would be harder to explain away Phainon and Mydei's relationship than it would be to explain away even Alhaitham and Kaveh's. Alhaitham and Kaveh have "They're always arguing" and "Their friendship was ruined by their fight" or "They're just roommates," etc. to lean back on. Phainon and Mydei... are really bad at even pretending to be rivals...
All of this to say: Hoyo made a bold and deliberate choice allowing two of their mainstream male characters to be so emotionally close and attentive to each other on screen. They went outside their own current comfort zone for this one, guys.
2. We're Conspicuously Missing a Twink
Moving on from Phaidei's emotional differences, I wanted to talk specifically about Hoyoverse's perspectives on gay men, and how easy it is for companies to slip into not only stereotypes for gay characters, but also extremely heteronormative portrayals of gay relationships. As sad as it is, it is easier to market queer-coded male characters to yaoi fans (who are often--although obviously not always--heterosexual women) if they fit into the expected pattern for heterosexual relationships: a highly masculine man to "wear the pants" in the relationship, paired with a delicate, effeminate man to obviously be the bottom.
Now, don't get me wrong: Gay relationships come in all varieties; people have different preferences, and categorical groups like "twinks" and "bears" exist so people who have those preferences can find each other. Obviously plenty of hyper-masculine (and just masculine-leaning) gay men do want more effeminate partners. Plenty of real guys consider themselves twinks and have great relationships with men ranging all the way up the most masculine dudes you've ever seen. But "masculine man with feminine man" isn't the only kind of gay relationship around, despite the fact that that's what Hoyo's yaoi shiptease might lead you to believe.
(Edit: I can't believe I have to say this, but it seems some portion the HSR fandom cannot read, so apparently I do: Stop using my post in your hunk/twink or hunk/hunk discourse; if you didn't bother to read the paragraph above this in which I word-for-word point out that real gay relationships come in all varieties, including lots of relationships between masculine men and more effeminate men, then that is on you--this post isn't about how "hunk/hunk" is more "real gay" material or "hurr durr twinks bad;" it's about how Hoyo has served up the exact same ship with different clothes on 13 times in a row, with their constant modus operandi being yaoi genre staple tropes in which one character is essentially designated as the bottom and the other as the top specifically using masculine versus feminine coding, because that is what sells to the yaoi fan demographic they are targeting, particularly to heterosexual female yaoi fans, who are predisposed toward heteronormative relationship patterns even in the gay media they consume. The only situation in which hunk/hunk is "more progressive" than hunk/twink is for Hoyo, who clearly have hunk/twink as their comfort zone and only very, very rarely step out of that established pattern. This entire post is about Hoyo's patterns for creating their mlm ships, not about gay rights activism--read the essay in the context of Hoyo's design philosophy or just stop reading here, fucking please.)
I don't want to say that Hoyo's track record on this front is bad, because honestly it's not. Their male characters often have surprisingly complex expressions of gender identity, with interesting blends of masculine and feminine traits. But... Hoyo does have a pattern. Plenty of their queer-coded MLM ships fall into this same general (and kind of stereotypical) profile: a masculine man with a more feminine man. Alhaitham is inexplicably ripped and represents calm rationality, while Kaveh is "the spitting image of his mother," has to wring out his wrists when he uses his own weapon, and represents passion and romanticism. Ayato is the head of his clan; Thoma holds housekeeping classes for Inazuma's other housewives. Xingqiu is the "refined" rich boy in ruffles; Chongyun is the down-to-earth working lad. Wriothesley is the most masculine man in Genshin Impact; Neuvillette mothers the entire race of Melusines. Over in Star Rail, Aventurine covets pink diamonds, bathes himself in sparkling perfume, and is so tiny Ratio's hands can encircle his waist. (I don't actually think Aventurine is that feminine, but trying to pretend that he isn't designed to evoke queer tropes is just silly.) Moze is as ripped as Alhaitham, while Jiaoqiu is... very pink. I'm going to talk more about Renheng in a sec, but Renheng is also this way, with the more "delicate"-looking Imbibitor Lunae to Yingxing/Blade's solid frame.
Mydei and Phainon don't fit this pattern at all. Both of them are as tall as Star Rail models come, and while Mydei's build has an impressive degree of bulk, Phainon is no slouch either:

Neither one of them is visually effeminate in any manner, and they're also not effeminate in personality or role in the story. Neither of them is a housekeeper or a home-maker; (again, poor Aventurine catching strays, but:) neither of them is in the business of blinding people into deals with their good-looks or careful facade of helplessness.
Theoretically we could say the devs tried to squish Mydei into a more heteronormative role by giving him traditionally "feminine" traits: he cooks, he plays house with children, he puts milk in his juice and turns it pink, he's paralleled almost exclusively to his own mother... But his role in the plot is such a quintessentially masculine story (son of a self-fulfilling prophecy, father-killer, god-slaying warrior, king to his people, aura-farming champion of the Amphoreus battle cutscenes, etc.) that clearly we are not meant to perceive him as a stereotypically feminine figure. The whole "malewife Mydei" thing comes across as so comedic because he is so masculine.
Conversely, Phainon, despite being the "gentler" of the two characters, the one who is described as having a soft heart and being outgoing and kind, is even less suited to being called feminine. His "Messiah"-esque role in the story, literally being the "prodigal son" of Amphoreus, paints him as the very picture of a classical male hero. Even more so than Mydei, he is a private and closed off person who hides his heart--and his own identity--from those around him, traits more often stereotypically associated with emotionally-closed-off men than female characters.
Up to this point, Hoyoverse had a relatively stable pattern in the MLM ships they baited in their recent games. They primarily played it safe, sticking to queer-coding relationships that both visually and narratively reflect heteronormative relationships.
But Phaidei once again broke the mold.
This time, Hoyo chose to queer-code not the more delicate-looking man (although I guess there's still plenty of time for Anaxa, I shouldn't sell him shorter than he already is lol), but two overtly masculine male characters, who can't be readily projected on to a stereotypical heterosexual relationship. This was a big departure from Hoyo's norm, and I think this actually deserves a lot more respect than people are giving it. Hoyo didn't have to pick their two muscle-bound warrior male leads and make them close and caring. They didn't have to expose themselves to the obvious question: "Why are two 'manly' characters being so soft on each other?" It is harder to pass off Phainon and Mydei's queer-coding as accidental, or suggest the fans are just reading too much into it, when nothing about them can be mistaken for a "traditional" heteronormative relationship. For a game produced in China, where standards for depicting men and masculinity in media are so high, making the choice to bait two masculine men together (let alone this expansion's "hero," who is an expy of a beloved former character), was a very bold and risky choice on Hoyo's part.
Companies don't make bold and risky choices on accident.
Finally, I wanted to make one more point about why I appreciate Phaidei's emotionally attentive depiction--it's because there's a whole other realm they could have taken the "definitely going to turn into a villain" queer-coded main character. As I mentioned in the first part of this post, queer-coding villains is a trope as old as dirt. When you queer-code a male villain particularly, you add an extra layer to the danger: Now the male villain is not just a physical threat, but a sexual one. Adding queer-coding to the male villain has often, in past media, been used to conflate homosexuality with deviance or perversion and suggests sexual violence even if nothing ever truly occurs.
Maybe the real Hoyoverse queer-coding was the red flower petals we threw along the way.
I said I was going to bring up Renheng, and here it is: Unfortunately, Blade and Dan Heng fall into this latter pattern a bit. Although he has his reasons, the game's portrayal of Blade's "pursuit," especially in the early portion of their story, casts Dan Heng into the role of the victim, a young man being hounded by a crazed stalker who refuses to let him go. Their cutscenes, including Dan Heng's nightmares, paint Blade as an overwhelming presence who invades both Dan Heng's physical space but also his mental space, making it impossible for Dan Heng to escape his clutches. This "We must pay the price together" absolutely reads, out of content anyway, as some sort of yandere death pact. Their lightcone is literally called "Nowhere to Run."
Even though Blade is not deliberately engaging in any form of sexual behavior, his obsession with Dan Heng in their early scenes can give players the impression of a cliched "depraved homosexual," and the implication that sexual violence could occur is present through their early interactions. This isn't on accident; Hoyo was playing with the yandere trope on purpose! I'm not going to lie, part of Renheng's early appeal for many players was how scary and dominating Blade came across as. The subtle sexual implications of pursuit are the point, and if you think Hoyo wasn't capitalizing on the intersection of "sexy" and "dangerous" with Renheng's early interactions, then you're probably a little too pure for this world.
As things progress, of course, we see this dynamic between Renheng dissipate, shifting his narrative from "crazed pursuer for unknown reasons" to "potentially the victim" of their past scenario, an effect which they achieved through the slow drip feed of Yingxing and Dan Feng's backstories. This, I think, speaks to not only a shift in the devs' intentions for Blade and Dan Heng's relationship (there's more to be said here about the Yingxing-Baiheng-Dan Feng mess that is the cut lore, etc.), but also to a shift in the way the devs wanted Blade to be perceived by fans, from a potentially predatory figure to a much less toxic potential love interest.
Anyway, back to Phaidei: We know that Phainon is headed for a downfall. It's been so obviously foreshadowed at this point that there's really nothing much more to say than that--however, even though he will likely also descend into villainy like Blade, and even though we know he's very likely going to kill Mydei... I don't think that the devs will use Phainon's queer-coding as part of his villainous identity. I don't get any sense that the dev team has any intentions of conflating Phainon's potential homosexuality with depravity, or using it as a motive for his descent into villainy (he might be gay and a villain, but he won't be a villain because he is gay). I definitely don't think we will see the kind of sexually-threatening physicality between Flame Reaver and Mydei that the devs did earlier with Blade and Dan Heng, even if "stabbing someone from behind" does have an inherent sort of sexual symbolism.
I appreciate that even in a story headed for the obvious "stabbed in the back by the villain form of the man I loved," the devs seem like they have moved on from falling into the pitfall (accidentally or intentionally, to sell yandere tropes) of portraying of gay men as predatory.
3. Leave Room for the Trailblazer
In part 1 of this post, I mentioned that Hoyo uses the placements of characters in scenes to indicate closeness, and I already pointed out that Mydei and Phainon stand really... really... close together, much closer than they stand to other characters.
However, it's not just that their models are literally positioned closer together in cutscenes--it's that their body language explicitly closes other characters out. Plenty of Hoyoverse MLM ships are ship-baited by moving the models of the male characters closer together, but very, very few of them are positioned to so consistently exclude even the player.
For comparison, consider the well-known scene where Alhaitham brings the Traveler and Paimon to his and Kaveh's house, which was framed with both domesticity and intimacy:
Although Alhaitham and Kaveh are also prone to the "stand shoulder-to-shoulder" thing that Hoyo does when they want to imply closeness between characters, the framing of their scenes nevertheless leave enough space for the Traveler and Paimon to be active participants in the conversation, enough space between Alhaitham and Kaveh for Traveler to not look blocked out.
For example, despite standing next to each other in that moment above, the camera deliberately cuts Alhaitham out, so that only Kaveh and the Traveler duo occupy the shot. Later on, Alhaitham bridges the divide between the Traveler and Kaveh, turning away from Kaveh toward the Traveler--once again, the conversation and scene are open to the Traveler, and thus, to the player.
Here's a live demonstration of my earlier point: Alhaitham and Kaveh stand closer together than the player and Candace, indicating their closer connection.
Other scenes play out similarly--although Alhaitham and Kaveh are close, their body language doesn't actively exclude other characters or the player from feeling like part of their conversations.
Over in Star Rail, we see the same general situation. We know that Aventurine rarely stands close to other characters, with Ratio being the one relatively consistent exception, but even so, the camera will usually give them some breathing room, making it feel like there's enough space for the player on the other side of the screen to be part of the moment:
Meanwhile Blade excludes both Dan Heng and the player, putting us on equal footing to Dan Heng and giving the impression that the player and Dan Heng are standing against Blade together. There is still room for "us" in this scene.
However, once again, Phaidei proves the exception. Mydei and Phainon don't just stand close--they don't even want to share air with anyone but each other.
A very normal way to have a group conversation. Definitely.
Consistently when standing side-by-side, they turn inward to face each other, rather than facing other characters in the conversation, literally forming a closed unit despite the fact that they're supposed to be in a group scene:
The thirdest third wheel to ever third wheel.
If it wasn't enough for the devs to just imply that the Trailblazer isn't able to break through Mydei and Phainon's circle, they decided to call it out in the text itself, echoing the player's own thoughts: "What about me?"
As I mentioned in the first part of the post, the devs also consistently use specific camera angles to capture both Mydei and Phainon in the frame together, at the same time, further emphasizing the closed nature of their conversations.
You will never see so many over-the-shoulder shots again in your life. You are the outsider looking in!
Perhaps most telling about the devs' intention to create an intimate air for Phainon and Mydei's conversations is that literally everyone else disappears when they speak to each other. For example, Phainon and Mydei's first goodbye takes place in the Garden of Life, which is actually a pretty bustling plaza with numerous NPCs. But every single NPC was deliberately removed by the dev team for Mydei and Phainon's scene there, to allow them a private moment:
Even in their final farewell, where Mydei was seen off by a literal bustling crowd of NPCs, not a single person is visible during their goodbyes--until the exact moment Mydei reminds Phainon that the whole rest of the world is waiting for him. The whole rest of the world didn't even exist for Phainon until Mydei forced him to remember.
It's not just the Trailblazer (and us, the player) who is third wheeling Mydei and Phainon's relationship. They literally exist in a world of their own when they speak to each other. No other modern Hoyoverse ship is on this level of excluding even the player--excluding even the damn NPCs!--to make a point about their closeness.
I thought I was going crazy the first time I was watching these scenes, thinking "It can't be that the devs actually went that far in framing Mydei and Phainon as a pair." But they did. They actually did.
The envelope has been pushed off a mountain, my guys.
But that still wasn't enough for the devs. They needed to go further.
4. Deploy Shoujo Manga Trope #57
I know I just said that Phainon and Mydei's relationship doesn't map well a typical heteronormative male/female relationship, but that doesn't mean the devs gave up on any and all attempts to apply typical romantic cliches to Phaidei. On the contrary, the dev team's thought process seems to have been "Hey, we're doubling-down on our queer-coding for Phainon and Mydei. How can we make it really, really, really obvious they're a ship?" And then they literally spun a roulette wheel of romantic tropes and threw every single one of them at patch 3.1 at the same time.
We have the "romantic lead beautifully framed by red rose petals blood glitter":
The "You used my love to manipulate me" subplot:
Phainon begs for compliments, and Mydei's reaction is to look away demurely and call him a scoundrel?? Am I seeing things?!
This is where he'd be blushing like a tomato if he was a female character.
The "please look after my dear husband when I'm gone" tragedy trope:
THE RING???
"LET'S MEET AGAIN IN THE NEXT LIFE"?!!
What do I even say about all... this...? Do I even need to say anything at all? Has any MLM ship in a recent Hoyoverse game gotten remotely as many romance flags? Alhaitham, where is Kaveh's ring?!
What I actually want to say isn't a specific breakdown of any of these moments, but what they mean in totality. Remember that Hoyo made every one of these choices with deliberate intent. They knew what the picture would add up to. These are explicitly romantic tropes that are extremely difficult to interpret in other lights.
You are supposed to read "If there's a chance in the next life" as "I want to be reincarnated with you; I want to meet you again; I want to be with you in a softer world."
You're supposed to think of the ring as a wedding ring. For one, Gorgo would only have gotten it through her marriage to Eurypon, but even more so--there was no reason this item needed to be a ring in the first place except to evoke images of wedding rings. We already knew from 3.0 that Castrum Kremnos used crests and seals for identification. Why make it a ring and not just the crest of Castrum Kremnos? Furthermore, why involve Phainon at all? The audience would never have known any different if Chartonus just said "Found this I did, have it you should, Mydei." It's a ring and it's a ring deliberately from Phainon because the devs want you to see it as a wedding ring.
What an incredibly bold move on Hoyo's part, and I don't even really mean just in the context of being a Chinese company, but even in the context of being a global company. Hoyo lives and dies by the revenue of their character banners, and choosing to explicitly and (nearly) exclusively apply romantic tropes to their male lead and deuteragonist in a brand-new patch cycle was a legitimately daring choice. Their deliberate application of romantic staples to an MLM ship, in a way that is difficult even for anti-LGBT+ fans to write off, was a very, very calculated decision. I genuinely hope it pays off for them. I hope Mydei and Phainon's banners both sell well, so the devs' receive a clear message in turn that fans appreciated their boldness and their commitment to creating queer content for these two characters.
I'm just going to end on one final note, about a scene that you may have noticed I conveniently skipped. Yes, the most conspicuous scene of them all:
5. A+ Censor Dodging
By some miracle of obliviousness, some Olympic-level mental gymnastics, or by sheer force of will, I think some people might still have made it to this point thinking that Phaidei was not being deliberately baited by the devs. You could maybe, somehow, convince yourself that the blood glitter rose petals and the shoulder-to-shoulder emotional conversations were just coincidences, that the tsundere "I'm not worried about him" was just dudes being tough guys, that the Trailblazer was a third wheel because Phainon and Mydei are "just good friends."
But then devs said "No, we need to be unmistakable. We need to make ourselves 1000% clear. We are baiting the yaoi fangirls, guys; please stop ignoring our hard work."
If going further than they've ever gone with Mydei and Phainon's body language wasn't enough, if Phainon's being willing to kill a god to save his man wasn't enough, if implying a wedding ring wasn't enough, what else could the devs possibly do to remove all plausible deniability and make it undeniably clear that Mydei and Phainon are queer characters (even if it is only for the benefit of yaoi fangirls)?
They can do something they've never done in their recent games before: Imply actual sex between male characters.
(Side note, Hoyo lesbians have had this implied sexual content pass from the beginning. You will always be famous, Beiguang. It's only the male characters that can't even have implied sex. đ)
Obviously Phainon and Mydei are not having sex in the game. The dialogue even goes out of its way afterward to remind us that they remained fully clothed in that bath, thank you. But the refusal to show what was actually happening--censorship used as a tool to imply--the cut to the black screen, the narration of one animal pursuing another, the discretionary water droplets between the moaning... (And another little edit because @mynabirb made such a good point in the tags: The fact that they chose to "censor" this with a butterfly, the literal symbol of romance in Amphoreus, is almost too much. The devs really did say "Time to silence all doubts.")
From the player's perspective--and examining this as a choice on the dev team's part--there is no way to read this scene other than "sexually suggestive." You're supposed to think "This sounds incredibly sus." Because it is sus. Because the devs added this scene knowing that it would intentionally make people think about the idea of Phainon and Mydei having sex.
Sure, this scene is really funny in context. You're supposed to come out of it laughing, going "Wow, they're idiots." But you will also, whether you like it or not, come out of this thinking "Damn, Hoyo really went all in on the yaoi bait, didn't they?"
You can't "Devs didn't mean it" out of this one.
Which is brave as hell on Hoyo's part, to be honest! Even if this is nothing but queer-baiting, they saw that sick yaoi fan money and decided to go all in on it.
Say it with me: A dev team from a country with notoriously strict rules against depictions of homosexuality in media, from a company with a huge global fanbase including many conservative and religious countries, and with a majority male target audience, went out of their way to undeniably include sexually suggestive gay content in their game.
Whatever their motivation--be it simply money or from a genuine desire to tell gay stories--this wasn't a casual decision. This took commitment. This decision almost certainly went all the way to the top brass of the team for clearance. Someone probably had to fight to get this added.
But they did it, and not with Kaveh and Alhaitham (the previously undisputed kings of current Hoyoverse queer-coding) but with two brand-new (to Star Rail at least) characters who have extremely important roles in the game's on-going narrative--major characters who can't be overlooked.
Phaidei is literally built different.
But I'm still left with one lingering question:
Is Hoyo queer-coding or just queer-baiting?
Even though I played 3.1 in a sort of stupefied haze because I actually couldn't believe what I was seeing in Phainon and Mydei's scenes, I also ended it with a pretty bittersweet feeling.
How amazing that Hoyo pushed the envelope so far with Phaidei... But at what cost?
Did Mydei really have to leave Okhema never to return? Or is he being banished from the plot because his relationship with Phainon was too intense?
Isn't this just the "bury your gays" trope, in essence?
Lore-wise, there isn't any reason Mydei actually has to leave Okhema forever. Sure, he presumably is going to fight the Black Tide where it manifests across Amphoreus, but what about that requires him to "never return"? Demigods aren't geographically bound to the locations their Titans blessed, or Aglaea and Anaxa wouldn't be able to leave the Grove. There shouldn't be any reason Mydei can't visit Okhema when he wants.
The more you think about it, the worse it looks that the dev team implied Phaidei harder than they've ever implied an MLM ship before, only to immediately turn around and go "And then Mydei left forever." As if the only way it's okay to make characters that gay is if you then get rid of at least one of them. (Speaking humorously, at the rate Phainon and Mydei were going, if the devs didn't get rid of Mydei, he and Phainon probably would have been making out on-screen by 3.2, but you know what I mean.)
Sure Phaidei can be the MLM Star Rail ship with the most support in canon--but only at the cost of never being seen together again, apparently.
I'm not sure I like this trade off.
However, I am telling myself to remain cautiously optimistic. We know that Mydei's role in the story is not done, and that he and Phainon are destined for at least one more reunion, even if it won't be a happy one. We've been told that Amphoreus's story will be "heart-warming." I choose to believe that the devs will try to scrabble some sort of positive ending out of all this. At the very least, perhaps we'll end with a "in another life montage," and get to see Phainon and Mydei finally meeting in that library.
So is Hoyo queer-coding from a genuine desire to include gay characters or just baiting hard to sell Mydei to fangirls?
I'd say let's wait and see. Amphoreus has barely started cooking.
In the meantime, I think it is worth examining (and appreciating) Hoyo's willingness to mix up their own patterns, break their own trends, and to try something truly new and different with Phaidei. Even if this is all the content we ever get, Hoyoverse did things they haven't done before in any of their recent games, and showed that they're willing to push the limits for queer content in order to tell the stories they really want to tell.
I am a served fan, Hoyo. Well played, well played.
#honkai star rail#phaidei#mydei#phainon#hoyoverse#queer-coding#oh my god it's finally done#this got away from me so much#I really said âSomeone's gonna have to write the essayâ#and then that someone ended up being me#there are some other ships mentioned here#haikaveh#renheng#ratiorine#only mentions though#sorry#now... I can sleep...
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ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:
1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.
2) That thing you think would help you but you havenât bought/done it yet because youâre technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesnât matter if people around you might think itâs wasteful or that youâre lazy, youâre not, just do it, trust me.
3) Expanding on tip #2, if youâre like me and eggs are your main source of protein because theyâre quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).
4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! thereâs a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!
5) If thereâs a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as âI donât put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-â, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, itâs not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.
6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going âOk step 1) stand up-â and so forth. Donât worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.
7) If youâre halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, âPut things away when youâre done with them.â is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus itâs a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like âI gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.â etc.
8) Itâs okay to outsource tasks and donât let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when theyâre first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.
9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, itâs okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) youâll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks wonât get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.
10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because thatâs where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they werenât in my line of sight. Now that theyâre on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go âoh I gotta take those.â and take them.
11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.
12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. Itâs okay to lean into those simple âanimal-brainâ type motivators, youâll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. youâll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. Youâll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because youâll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they arenât stupid or childish, they are VITAL.
13) Donât buy into the cult of âif itâs worth doing, do it properlyâ itâs guaranteed to set you up for failure. If itâs worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because thatâs fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If itâs worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.
Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo âïžđ©”
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ââ .⊠Dark side of the 10H SYNASTRY can have this âlook what I haveâ type of energy, where one person treats the other like a possession and they want the whole world to know that. They want to post you on every social media they have, they will drag you to every event and introduce you to everyone they know. They will be proud of you, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it feels like it's that kind of pride a man has when he brags about his new car. It can be flattering but also deeply uncomfortable and dehumanizing. People who are not comfortable with this type of attention and treatment will probably avoid 10H contacts.
ââ .âŠÂ On the positive side 10H SYNASTRY overlays can be your biggest hypeman. They genuinely want you to succeed in life. They will drive you to that job interview, they will help you study for your exam, they will encourage you when you decide to open up that business you were dreaming of your whole life. This synastry overlay has a sweet aspect to it that a lot of people overlook.
ââ .⊠I'm in my controversial era but I find the funniest duos are those that have MERCURY SQUARE MERCURY in synastry. It's often indicator of miscommunication and misunderstandings in relationships, and I don't deny that, this definitely is a dark side of this contact. But I think it can have somehow positive side in platonic relationships and friendships. I find that people with this aspect in synastry bounce of each other better that those with conjunctions or oppositions. That harsh clash of energy in a fight will leave you both in tears, but between best friends it's that type of energy that will have you talk to each other like sarcastic assholes and you both know that the other doesn't mean it and it's just the effects of how comfortable you are with each other. It reminds me of those "the way you talk to your friends vs the way you talk to your best friends" memes . But I might be biased cause I'm generally fascinated with squares in synastry.
ââ I find that SQUARES IN SYNASTRY have tendency to create feelings of unfamiliarity which can cause deep fascination and in more extreme cases obsession. I always say that oppositions are like a chess or a ping pong game. You know your rival, you both know the rules, you're standing face to face, it's all back and forth. Challenging but familiar. Squares on the other hand have no rules, they will hit you from the side when you least expect it. It's something new, something different, something unfamiliar that will shake you to your core and force you out of your comfort zone. That's why I personally think having some squares peppered in between conjunctions and trines in synastry won't have you feeling stuck and bored.
ââ .⊠If youâre not a plutonian yourself and you find yourself in a heavy PLUTONIAN RELATIONSHIP it might evoke feelings of jealousy and possessiveness in you that youâve never experienced before, to the point you start asking yourself âwhatâs happening? I donât usually act like thisâ. Itâs probably pluto aspecting the inner planets. From what Iâve noticed the most prominent aspects that cause this are tight squares and oppositions between pluto and moon/venus .
ââ .⊠Every time I check synastry for someone who told me they âhad instant chemistryâ and âthere were sparks flyingâ the moment they met this person, like a clockwork the MOON-MARS aspects show up. I've seen VENUS-URANUS or VENUS - ASCENDANT being mentioned but I think those are the "instant attraction" not "instant chemistry" aspects since they can be pretty one sided. It's someone seeing you and going "whoa, you're hot and aesthetically pleasing I want that" and you might not feel the same way about them. Moon-Mars is felt by both equally. First thing I noticed is the heavy eye contact and tension. These two will stare at each other like they wanna fight or fuck and you're not sure which way they'll swing.
ââ .⊠When someone puts their MARS IN YOUR 12H , much of their effort to connect with you and get to know you becomes obstructed in some way, particularly during the early stages of the relationship. You are confused because their energy can't reach you directly. You're not sure if they want you or you just made that up in your head. A lot of times, itâs a result of the surrounding circumstances rather than a conscious choice by the house person to ignore the Mars person. It's not like the house person is rejecting the Mars person; it's much more like "It's not like I don't want you; I just don't know what you want from me." The Mars person can also end up hurt because all of their efforts feel unnoticed and ignored. It's as if they both navigate through a fog; making a connection is challenging. 12H SYNASTRY will leave you questioning your sanity: "There was something there. I did not make that up in my mind, or did I?"
ââ .⊠MERCURY-ASCENDANT conjunction in synastry is such a great aspect. This is the "I know what you mean" aspect. The ascendant person can really easily understand and verbalize the thoughts and feelings that the Mercury person might find difficult to articulate. I love seeing it in a synastry chart; the communication sometimes feels telepathic, especially when Mercury conjuncts the ascendant from the 12H.
ââ .⊠My favorite synastry aspect is positive MOON-VENUS contacts, they are like a sweetener in relationships. The "I have a soft spot for this person" aspect. It brings a lot of forgiving and understanding energy to the relationship. In particular, the Venus person being the Moon's person's safe space and giving them a lot of reassurance and acceptance when they express their emotions. The Venus person will understand, so the moon person won't feel uncomfortable expressing themselves. This aspect always adds a feeling of genuine sympathy between two people.
#astro notes#astrology notes#astro observations#astrology observations#synastry#astro community#astrology#astroblr#*
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the letter
theodore nott x f! reader summary: you get a letter from a secret admirer who wants to confess. your best friend is none too pleased. notes: jealous! theodore nott >>> word count: 1.4k
You would think for a magical school, Hogwarts would have better heating or some heating spell, but the Slytherin dorms are frigid as usual as winter creeps up. You fasten your robe clasps and draw it tighter around you, simultaneously trying to tug your skirt down in a futile way to heat yourself up more. Your knee-high socks only do so much and you pretty much give up on the endeavor as you climb up the stairs and head for the Great Hall.Â
Youâre immediately greeted by the cozy warmth of the hall, spotting your friends, all swathed in green and silver robes and knits. Theo spots you first, sliding over and nearly knocking Blaise off the bench. âBlood hell, mate,â Blaise grumbles as you approach, kicking Theoâs leg lightly.Â
You slip into the space created for you, right in between Theo and Enzo. You stifle a yawn and ask, âCan someone pass the eggs and bacon?â
As Enzo reaches for both platters, Theoâs eyes zero in on your legs. âHow are you not cold?â
You frown. âI am,â you reply, piling your breakfast onto your plate, âbut Pansyâs demon cat apparently thought my winter tights were toys and decided to scratch them all up.â
Pansy sighs, âIâve ordered you new ones, calm down.âÂ
Theo drapes his robe over your legs and you smile gratefully at him. He smiles back and your heart flips. You donât think youâll ever get over how beautiful he is â all dark caramel curls and long lashes that frame those devastatingly blue eyes. Heâs been your best friend since you started Hogwarts and you knew you loved him at first sight. The longer youâve known him, the more youâve fallen for him.Â
Itâs a tale as old as the world itself: youâre hopelessly in love with your best friend but you value your friendship far too much to do anything to jeopardize it.
âMailâs here,â you hear someone say down the table. You look up to the ceiling, which has been enchanted to look like a sky thatâs about to break open and drop snowflakes from its clouds. Owls soar in through the openings at the top of the walls, diving down towards their intended recipients.Â
âMaybe your new tights are here,â Enzo says.Â
Pansy adds, âI hope so. Then youâll stop complaining about it.â
You snort, reaching up to grab a letter dropped by your family owl. You feed her a piece of scrambled egg as she takes off back towards the owlery. You tuck your parentsâ letter into the inner pocket of your robe just as another owl swoops overhead, dropping a pale blue envelope on your lap.Â
âWhoâs that from?â asks Pansy.Â
You shrug, using your butter knife to open it up. As you do, Draco grumbles at Mattheo: âFor the love of Salazar, stop hogging the pastry basket.â
You skim over the letter addressed to you. You tilt your head in confusion and Blaise asks, âWhatâs it say?â
Enzo peeks over your shoulder and his face breaks into a smirk. ââMeet me at the Astronomy Tower at midnight tonight. Signed, Your Secret Admirer.ââ he reads.
âWhat?â Theo suddenly snatches the letter from your hand. You watch in confusion as his eyes dart back and forth. His shoulders tense and his mouth purses into a thin, hard line.Â
âYou doing okay there, Nott?â Matthew asks, shooting a simpering smile at his friend. Theo sends a glare back but doesnât say anything, the letterâs paper crinkling under his grip.Â
Pansy asks, âAre you going to go?â
You hesitate, surreptitiously glancing at Theo, startled to find that heâs gazing at you with an intensity youâve never experienced. You pluck the letter from him and fold it neatly. âI think so,â you say. âIâm interested to see who it is.â
âBe sure to bring your wand,â Draco says. âJust in case.â
âObviously,â you deadpan. The conversation shifts into whether anyone was prepared for midterms coming up.Â
You fiddle with the letter in your lap. Theoâs silent for the whole conversation.Â
You chew on your bottom lip as you reread the same sentence in your textbook for what feels like the hundredth time. The letter has stuck in your head the whole day. It crosses your mind that it could be a prank or a set-up â itâs not a secret that Slytherin isnât the most popular House among your classmates â but you know you can handle yourself. Youâre more worried about how Theo was acting at breakfast. He didnât say a word the rest of the meal, not even when Enzo and Mattheo tried looping him into the conversation. He just sat there, sullen and gloomy, and his mood seemed to worsen more when you handed him his robe back and said you had to get to class.
You sigh heavily, trying to play out every possible scenario that could happen between you and the letter writer. You check the clock in the library: 11:45; you need to head over to the Astronomy Tower.Â
You groan, gathering your things, sliding them into your bag, and making your way back to the Slytherin common room to drop off your things in your dorm. âCacophony,â you supply to the portrait, which swings open to let you in.
The common room is blissfully silent when you enter, a welcome contrast to the mess of thoughts in your head. Youâre about to head down the hall to your dorm when you collide against someone. You huff an apology but when you feel their hand on your shoulder, you look up to see Theo. He looks intense, eyes wide and glinting with sharp determination and his mouth still set in that frown from earlier. âSorry, Theo,â you say. âDidnât see you there. Where are you going at this hour?â
âI was going to find you,â he replies.Â
âOh,â you say. âWell, here I am. Sorry, Iâve got to drop this stuff off and thenââ
âHead to the Astronomy Tower,â he finishes for you, âto meet your âsecret admirer.ââÂ
You donât like the way he sneers at the last part of his sentence or the way he uses air quotations. Youâre about to respond when he says, âDonât go.â
âWhat?â
âDonât go,â he repeats.
âWhy not?â
He pauses before saying, âWhat if itâs someone just having a laugh?â
You bristle, hurt, and you feel your temper flare. âIs it so damn hard to believe that someone might actually have a crush on me?â
Theo laughs, razor-sharp and incredulous, as if he canât believe that youâre saying something so outrageous, âNo, itâs not.â
âThen why shouldnât I go?â
âBecause I donât want you to!â
âFor Salazarâs sake, Theo, you canât tell me what to do!â
âI know that!â
âThen are you trying to tell me not to go?â
âBecause I bloody like you!â
Your heart stutters to a stop. You can only hear the sounds of both of your labored breathing and you suddenly canât meet his eyes, trying your best to wrap your head around the fact that your feelings are reciprocated. âHow long?â you ask softly, holding your breath.
âSince first year.â
You blink. âReally?â
He rakes a hand through his hair and sighs heavily, âMattheoâs right; youâre so oblivious.â Thereâs another beat of silence and he asks, a little shyly, âHow do you feel?â
You canât stop the smile that spreads across your face. âI like you too, Theo. Iâve liked you since first year as well.â
He echoes your âReally?â and it makes you giggle, âI guess weâre both oblivious.â
He joins your laughter and you let your forehead rest on his chest as your shoulders shake. When it dies down, Theo shifts you off him and lifts your chin with his forefinger, any semblance of coyness gone. You gaze into his ocean blue eyes. Salazar, you could drown in them. He offers a charming smile and he leans close, just a few centimeters away, and says, âCan I kiss you?â
Your eyelashes flutter and your voice comes out barely louder than a whisper, âIâd be disappointed if you didnât.â
Your lips meet, fervent and desperate, years of yearning releasing like water through a broken dam. Theo hooks his arms around your waist, pulling you as close as possible. You wind your arms around his neck, fingers toying with the hair at his nape. He walks you backward, slipping his tongue into mouth as he crushes you up against the wall. He deepens the kiss and your knees go weak.Â
Theo moves your bag off your shoulder and drops it on the floor. The letter that rested at the top of the pile of possessions falls out, laying forgotten on the ground.
#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#theodore nott#theo nott#theodore nott x you#theo nott x you#theodore nott imagine#theodore nott scenarios#theodore nott fic#theo nott imagine#theo nott fic#harry potter#slytherin boys#â¶ NOVE WRITES
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Do you have any friends that annoy the crap out of you? And if so how have you handled it? Just slowly stopped answering their messages?
my dear I need to preface this by saying that as much as I share of myself on here, Iâm still just a stranger on the internet, and I donât know you or your situation
But from your phrasing Iâm wondering, if a person is annoying the crap out of you in a regular basis, are they really your friend? Are you really theirs?
I guess Iâve had what you may call proximity friends, in that we met because of school or work and when one of us left those places that friendship fell away. And the friendships I wanted to keep I put in effort to keeping them, and those people reciprocated, and my life is better for having them in it.
I guess then my advice is nothing lasts forever and that can be a good thing. Iâm also very much a believer in If It Sucks, Hit Da Bricks! of course that doesnât mean cut out anyone and everyone who wrongs you, but itâs up to you to decide what you can take, and you can have compassion for people without wanting to be in their life anymore
#Iâve had a few friendships over the years with people whoâŠ.#they had a lot going on. and it wasnât their fault they had a lot going on#but it reached a point where they needed / expected more from me than I had the capacity to give#which wasnât fair to either of us#and those where schoolmates so when we went our separate ways after school we just didnât out in the effort to stay connected#there was another friend who was alwaysâŠ. I loved her and we were roomies and got aling fine but she was always kind of aloof#and then when I went to grad school I moved someplace else and she moved in with her partner and just basically stopped talking to all of us#and then came outta nowhere months later trying to sell the groupchat on an mlm she was in#reader we created a new group chat without her#I have a couple close dear friends who have had to do the friend breakup#but I think that had more to do with them still feeling a fealty to the friendship of the past#even though the other person wasnât putting forth the effort anymore#and not to sound a billion years old but I think â#i think this is a teenage/early adulthood kind of#thing. because â limitations of physical distance and late capitalism exceptedâ#i am so so grateful and happy with the people in my life that I call friends#and I love them very much#and there isnât anyone I have in the category of friend that I donât want to be there#and many friends are ones Iâve made here on tumblr dot com!#asks#anon
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Steveâs been running a hand through his hair, pacing back and forth in front of the stove for almost ten minutes. Sheâs told him over and over to be confident, that heâs got nothing to lose and everything to gain. But heâs still nervous. And to be fair, she canât hold it against him. It took her ages to ask Nancy out.
âI donât know, Robs,â Steve sighs, âare you absolutely sure?â
âYes, Dingus, he likes you. Eddie never pulls the tips of my hair or holds my hand or leans on my shoulder. Because people only do that if theyâre interested in someone. Right?â Her cheeks twitch under the strain of her reassuring smile.
âYeahâŠ?â He shines with guarded hope.
Robin canât help but ask, for what has to be the millionth time, âhave you at least told him youâre bisexual?â
Steveâs eyes dim again and itâs all the answer she needs. Honestly, heâs doing a hell of a lot better than she expected. Heâs told a few people so farâ as practice, Rob, with the easy peopleâ including her and Nancy, Dustin, Max and Lucas. It might have been practice to start, but now heâs just stalling the inevitable. And they both know it.
âLetâs go back out there,â Robin encourages. She throws her arm over his broad shoulders, highlighted by the plain indigo t-shirt thatâs on the right side of too small. Theyâd picked it out together: something dark and tight for Eddie, yet something still classically Steve.Â
He nods as she hauls him back towards the living room, two cold six packs in their hands. The groupâs Saturday movie night tradition at Steveâs had been going well so far. After a few joints, Argyle suggested a drinking game, hence the beers. Eddie, Steve, and Robin were quick to jump on the bandwagon, leaving Nancy and Jonathan as sober cabs for Robin and Argyle, whoâd just rented a new apartment in town.
Eddie, very pointedly, hadnât committed to how his night would end. Robin snorted when his eyes darted to Steve to gauge his reaction as they coordinated cars, even though her poor best friend was completely oblivious to Eddieâs blush.
Steveâd been in the middle of ordering pizza when heâd overheard their planning and almost dropped the phone, bulldozing their conversation to shout, âTeddy, why donât you just spend the night, since your van is back at yourâ oh, hi yeah can we get one largeââ and Eddie sagged in relief.Â
Robin loves them, but my god are they actual idiots. Even Nancy couldnât help but giggle at their antics, Eddie smacking her lightly on the arm in protest of her teasing. The two have become increasingly close since Eddieâs two month stint in the hospital recovering from demon bat rabies. Not rabies, Robin! Just a normal infection.
It was a shock at first, to find Eddie and Nancy spending time together away from everyone else. They just didnât seem to fit together, from the outside looking in. But much like Steve and Robin, all you had to do was look past the surface.
Which means if Robin can successfully set up Steve and Eddie, theyâll create the perfect little quad. Sometimes she gets caught up imagining their double dates, if onlookers would be surprised to find Robin on Steveâs arm and Nancy on Eddieâs, and not the other way around.
Theyâd be able to go on actual dates in public. She could hold Nancyâs hand under the table and lean her head on Steveâs shoulder. Heâd give her a light kiss on the forehead while playing footsie with Eddie. Then Robin would go home with Nancy and fall asleep wrapped up in each other like a dream.
Itâs the perfect plan. Or at least, it would be if the boys could just take their heads out of their asses.Â
So as the six of them lazed around all day, Robin and Nancy made sure Steve and Eddie were always next to each other; although, they really didnât have to try that hard. The boys reflexively sought each other out, eyes catching from across the room, or shoulders brushing sitting side by side.Â
They were the only two who shared a joint, even though Argyle had plenty to pass around. Steve whined about his low tolerance, how he didnât need a full one, only for Eddie to fall over himselfâ literally, with how fast he turned to face him, almost smacking Steve in the headâ to offer his own to share.
So when they walk back into the room and something feels just slightly off, Robin briefly wonders if her own smoke was stronger than normal, even though sheâd only felt a slight buzz. That maybe, hopefully, this is some awful hallucination and the joints were laced with acid.
Argyleâs sitting on the sofa next to Jonathan right where theyâd left him, now lazed over the arm and lightly snoring with his feet curled up underneath him like a giant cat. Eddieâs still sitting on the floor next to Jonâs legs, an open space to his right where Steve had been sitting only minutes ago. Except thereâs something different with Nancy.Â
Nancy had been sitting in the chair across from Argyle earlier, complaining about Robinâs bony ass digging into her leg but refusing to let her up. Now sheâs standing by the opening of the hallway, almost like she was waiting for them to come back. She's biting her lip, eyes wide, ringing her hands in front of her like she doesnât know what to do with them.
Robin moves towards her, anxious to know whatâs got her so upset. She notices Nancyâs eyes flitting between Steve and the boys, so Robin follows her gaze.
Jonâs bent forward, leaning down over Eddie like they're sharing a secret. His hand cradles Eddieâs cheek, and Robin can see the moment Eddie fits himself between Jonâs legs. Eddie cranes his neck as he turns to face him. Itâs uncoordinated roaming hands and sloppy lips, too much tongueâ and the sounds. Wet, slurping and sucking sheâll never be able to unhear, obnoxiously loud and seared into her brain.
They're kissing.
Robinâs going to throw up. Sheâs died, this must be hell. No wonder why Nance looks so freaked out. None of them knew about Jonathan. Sure, they all wondered if he and Argyle had something going on, but no one pried, and the two had never said anything. Objectively, Robin knows this wouldnât bother Nancy. She and Jonathan dated almost three years ago, theyâve both moved on and are good friends at this point. So why would sheâ
Jonathan opens his eyes to find them watching. They crinkle around a smile as he looks behind her and tugs on Eddieâs curls. Without breaking eye contact, he shoves his tongue deep into Eddieâs mouth, who then moans in response. Robinâs not sure if Eddie knows theyâre in the room, but Jonathan sure as hell does.Â
It takes her too long to put it together, to realize Jonathanâs not looking at her or Nancy. Thereâs a small whimper behind her where his gaze is locked and he smiles again, triumphant.
Robin rounds on Steve, whoâs frozen to the spot. All the bloodâs drained from his face, leaving him pale and sickly looking like he could pass out any second. He isnât blinking. Heâs staring and staring and staring, completely enraptured by the scene unfolding before them.Â
She bodily moves herself in front of him, thankful more than sheâs ever been that heâs a little short for a boy and sheâs a little tall for a girl. He wonât look at her, he canât see her standing right in front of him, his eyes a million miles away. She grabs both of his hands and digs her nails into the meat of his palms.
His eyes finally snap to hers, and she almost wishes they hadnât. Steveâs hands practically vibrate within her own, matching the wobbling of his lip and the shimmering on his lash line.Â
âRobs,â Steve croaks, the rest of his thought lodged in his throat.
Thereâs nothing she can do as she watches Steveâs heart shatter in real time, cracked down the center like it was struck with a bolt of lightning.Â
âSteve,â Eddie calls out in concern, âare you okay? Whatâs wrong?â
Robin turns around to face him, keeping her place in front of Steve like a shield. She catches the downcast of Jonathanâs eyes as his hand threads through the ends of Eddieâs hair, lips still loose and open waiting for the next kiss. But now Eddieâs pushing himself up from the floor, brows drawn tight together, fixated on Steve like heâs the only boy in the room.
Except sheâs seen him look at Steve that way a thousand times in the months since they barely survived hell together. Eddie looked at Steve with stars in his eyes, like he was the man of his dreams. How he would grow wider and taller and louder if Steve kept laughing until heâd snort. A sound Eddie fucking loved. Sheâd watch Eddie take care of Steve during migraines, scrape his fingernails down his scalp until Steve fell asleep, head cradled in Eddieâs lap.
Robin loved watching Eddie watch Steve because, for the first time, it felt like someone finally saw in him what sheâs always seen. Sheâs wanted nothing more for Steve than to have someone in his life who loves and takes care of him as much as she does. And Robin was so, so fucking sure that that person was Eddie Munson.
How things have gone horribly wrong.
Steve catches Eddieâs movement and bolts back toward the kitchen, faster than sheâs ever seen him move on the court. Nancy moves to follow him but Robin slips her hand into hers. Beautiful, sweet, smart, wonderful Nancy Wheeler understands Robin quick as a flash, shoring up next to her to help block the hallway.Â
Eddie stands on tiptoes in front of them, stretching his neck to catch a glimpse of what Robin hopes is a closed door.
âWhat happened?â Eddieâs genuinely concerned, and Robin has to shove down the warm, fuzzy feeling she normally gets when Eddie asks about Steve in favor of the overwhelming urge to murder everyone in this room. Except for Nancy, and maybe Argyle, whoâs started slowly waking up from the commotion.
Robin obnoxiously shifts to the side to block Eddieâs path. âDonât worry about it, Munson. Heâs fine, just a little sick from the shitty weed.â The weed isnât shittyâ itâs Argyleâs. Itâs the first excuse her brain concocted. But it doesnât really matter.Â
Her tone is barbed, meant to dig the hurt in deep and hook it inside his skin. Sheâs never considered herself a mean person. Apparently all someone has to do is hurt her best friend. Eddie flinches away, nose flared and eyes crinkled, ready to argue back until Nancy interrupts them both.Â
âIf Steve isnât feeling well,â her voice chimes with a practiced false sincerity, âmaybe we should all head home and let him rest.â God Robin fucking loves this woman. Always quick on her feet, fast on the uptake.
Robinâs gaze is unyielding in the face of an angry Eddie Munson. They both know, under normal circumstances, Robin would back down by now. Every second heâs forced to soak in her wrath, she catches him shrinking further in on himself. Thereâs uncertainty growing in the uptick of his brows, the crease of his forehead. Heâs tugging at the hem of his sleeveless Queen t-shirt.
Her lip pulls up into a fierce scowl in recognition. Robin tugs at the front of the shirt hard enough to stretch it out. Sheâs not too worried about ruining it anymore than it already is. Thereâs white paint stains on the shoulders from when Steve begged her to help give his bedroom walls a base coat. Little holes dotted along the hemline from Steveâs poorly-ashed joint a few months ago.
The shirt is old, faded, well-loved, and Steveâs. Itâs all the reasons why Eddie asked to keep it, and why Steve didnât hesitate to give it up, wanting Eddie to always have a little piece of him.
Robinâs white-knuckled grip stretches the shirt enough that the sound of ripping causes Eddie to try and escape. When she lets go, a few of the holes in the hemline have torn together. He stumbles backwards, smoothing out the new stretch marks on whatâs left of the printed lettering.
Robin revels in the moment he truly recognizes what he's wearing. His face now completely devoid of the Freakâs bravado and misplaced anger. Whatâs left is a montage of emotions like confusion, frustration, and panic, running him over like a bulldozer and Robin gets to watch each hit smash him deeper into the dirt.
âYeah, Nancy might be right,â Jonathan sighs, sounding faux-tired and yet all too pleased to call it early. He slaps his knees as he stands and gives Argyleâs shoulder enough of a shake to get the guy up and moving.
They gather their things, Nancy wandering over to help push them along, while Eddie and Robin stand as stone pillars facing each other. Sheâd plant herself here the rest of her life if it meant keeping her soulmate safe.
âRobin,â Eddie practically whimpers, âpleaseââ
âHey, uh, Teddy?â Jonathan chirps up happily from across the room. Eddieâs eyes slip closed in pain when Robin mockingly mouths the nickname back at himâ one she thought was special, just for Steve. âIâve still got a few more pre-rolls, want to head back to my place?â
Eddieâs eyes fly open. A sardonic smile splits her face as he chokes on his own spit in response. âGuess this means you wonât be staying. Right, Teddy?â
Eddie flinches when Jon slings a heavy arm over his shoulders, which morphs into a possessive claim when he drops his arm to wrap around Eddieâs waist, going so far as to slip the tip of his finger into the top of Eddieâs skin-tight jeans.
Robin notices Argyleâs hair dip forward to hide his face. Itâs only now she realizes heâs missed everything thatâs happened. Sure enough, she barely catches the shock in his eyes before he turns away.
This is such a fucking nightmare. If she breaks Jonathanâs head open with the nail bat upstairs, she wonders if sheâll be able to see the part of his brain thatâll tell her what the hell he was thinking when he decided to kiss Eddie.
Moving to extricate himself from Jonathanâs hold, Eddie awkwardly chuckles. âActually, Johnny-boy, I think I might just head home instead.â
âOh,â Jonathan frowns, in a way that Robin absolutely hates. âHow are you going to get home? Didnât Steve pick you up earlier?â
Eddieâ eyes still locked on Robinâ very obviously flounders for an excuse and Robinâs enjoying watching him grasp at straws. âIâll just walk home. Little bit of fresh air never killed anyone, right?â
âNo, dude,â Jonathan croons, âI can give you a ride. Iâm more than happy to go a little out of my way if itâs for you. Maybe we can smoke at your place instead?â
Jonathanâs free hand reaches up towards Eddieâs hair again, like a little boy pulling his crushes pigtails for attention. But Eddie practically throws himself at the opposite wall, putting as much space between them as he can without actually running down the front door.
âIâm dropping off Argyle, anyway,â Nancy jumps in to save the day, her hand gently patting Argyleâs shoulder, âand you two live the same direction. So why donât I drive Eddie home instead?â
âPlease,â Eddie begs, staring at Robin as he melts with relief into the wall. âThatâs great, yes. Thanks Nance.â
Jonathan seems to have shrugged off the entire exchange as he moves towards the door to slip his shoes on. Nancy and Argyle are already ready to go, waiting on Eddie, whoâs slowly backing his way toward them and still looking at her. This might be the first staring contest Robinâs ever won in her whole life.Â
Once heâs finally got his shit together, Eddie looks her up and down, confusion scrunched between his eyes. âArenât you coming with? You said you and Nancy wereââ
âI think Iâll be staying here, thanks,â Robin states flatly.Â
Eddie chews on his lip, but nods and heads out the door, Jonathan still hot on his heels. Her and Nancy exchange a quick I love you, good luck, keep me updated goodbye before she shuts the door behind her.
Every fantasy Robin imagined about a future filled with her favorite people fell apart in the span of five minutes. She canât help but wonder if they had just gone back to the party sooner. If Steve had confessed to Eddie yesterday. If Eddie hadnât gotten so high or maybe even if Jonathan had an ounce of common sense, this couldâve been avoided.Â
Robin could be lying in bed with Nancy tonight, wrapped around each other, comfortable and warm. She could fall asleep proud that Steve had finally worked up the courage to confess how he felt. She couldâve woken up tomorrow imagining her two favorite dinguses were in a similar tangled mess of limbs, and she could smile knowing they finally found each other.
But now, silence presses against the walls of this empty house, pushing at the ceiling and cracking the foundation. It sits heavy on her chest. Her headâs filled with static and she thinks she finally understands the juxtaposition of a loud silence. But a weak sob cuts the air like a jagged shard of glass. Turning towards the kitchen, she shores up everything she has left in her to help her soulmate pick up the shattered pieces of his broken heart.
Part 2
Ao3
#steddie (-jonathan)#or my version of: what if the boys were idiots#steddie endgame#VERY ooc jonathan. I didn't expect to write him as an asshole but alas he does in fact get worse#heavy stobin angst coming up next!#steddie#stobin#ronance (background)#jargyle (hinted but kinda toxic ngl... does not get resolved)#the spicy six#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler#argyle#shout out to koko for the never ending support even when your life is chaotic <3#steddie fic#stranger things#queeniewritesstories
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outer banks premiere and surprises â DREW STARKEY
authors note the new season is so good!!! watching part two trailer makes me even more excited. what do you guys think of it?
taglist †if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set.
summary surprising drew at the outer banks premiere for season four. he thinks you are on tour but you made time to support him.
warnings cursing, mentions of flashing lights, kissing, and celebrating season four of outer banks.
You carefully walked out the car with your hand holding one side of your dress so you donât fall. You thanked the driver with a kind smile before walking towards the red carpet with your manager. The sound of fans could be heard the closer you got.
The season four premiere of Outer Banks is tonight, and you plan to surprise your boyfriend, Drew Starkey, on the carpet. Except for Jonas and Drew's father, no one is aware of your impending arrival.
You recently started touring for your newest albumâ it's been an absolute blast. This night is very important to Drew and you are glad your next show is two hours away so it was perfect to surprise him and see his reaction.
You were glad to fit this surprise last minute.
When you get closer to the crowd of people butterflies form in the pit of your stomachâ more so excitement and enthusiasm. Security led you through the entrance where everyone stood for pictures and fans waiting to interact with the cast.
Drew was in the middle of taking pictures in front of cameras and fans behind themâ he looked so good in his suit. Few fans turned their heads when they heard security taking on the radio and their faces lit up seeing you.
Oh my gosh is that Y/N?
Sheâs here to surprise him watch
My parents are finally together in front of me
Drew turned his head in your direction where all the commotion wasâ he was in disbelief seeing you walking over to him looking stunning from head to toe. Smile forming in the corner of his lips, opening his arms for you.
"Hi baby!" You squeal softly, looking at him with affection and joy. You stand on your tiptoes to kiss his cheekâ he smells wonderful with the new cologne you bought him.
"I'm so glad you are here," he says with a grin, clutching you closely to his chest.
As you two walk away, you turn around to face Drew's father, hugging him and asking how things are doing. You approached his father first about the surprise, and he was all for it.
Paparazzi wanted to capture a few shots of Drew and you together. You two couldn't take your gaze away from one other the entire time. The butterflies in your stomach had not faded the moment you arrived.
Drew and you approached fans and took pictures, signed autographs, made films, and so forth. You stayed by Drew's side the entire time rather than being the focus of attentionâ this is about him and his cast members. Tonight is all about him and the cast.
"I love your new album Y/N, and I'm going to your next show in two days," one fan exclaimed, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes as she looked around sixteen. "Aw, thank you so much, gorgeousâI can't wait for you to be out there," you say softly, leaning in for a big hug.
"Y/N I can't believe you are here!" Madelyn gasps in surprise, pausing in her tracks and placing her palm on her chestâ jaw dropped.
You look over your shoulder, squealing with delight. "Surprise, Missy," you say aloud, raising your arms.
The rest of the cast followed, engulfing you in a frenzy of hugs and enthusiastic conversations. Drew couldn't stop smiling, and his arm never left your waist while you socialized with friends. Conversations went smoothly, with laughter resonating in the air.
"When I saw you with Drew, I was like no way that's Y/N" Chase explained as he re-created his initial reaction seeing you.
You laughed as he told you, "The only people who knew were our managers and Drew's dad." You pointed to your's and Drew's managers, then Drew's father talking to Madison.Â
It was great to see everyone again and catch up on things that hadn't been mentioned. It felt like it had been years since you last saw one other.Â
"You look so good tonight, baby," you nudge Drew with a quiet whisper, "too good, I might add." You smirk nonchalantly, which immediately draws his attentionâdragging his hand down your back, drawing you closer to him.
"May I just say the same thing about you because I think I need an inhaler?" he asks with a flirty grin.
Inside the auditorium, they watched the first half of the show, your hand interlaced with Drew's. You could feel his joy and pleasure in the work they had all done for the new season. And he could feel your steadfast support, your presence anchored him.
Drew's performance throughout the show was incredibleâhe was always giving it his all and keeping in character without breaking. Rafe's character development is much more obvious this season than it was in the first. Throughout the show, you would lean into his earâ sending chills down his spine. You whispered encouraging things to him.
Shortly after the first part of the show, an announcement was made about an after-party to which everyone was invited. Obviously, everyone was looking forward to attending and celebrating.
Everyone had access to food, desserts, and drinks at the after party. Music was played while everyone sang along to the songs. This was one night to remember. Drew and the cast were ecstatic to celebrate yet another outstanding season.
You found a calm spot with Drew. He wrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer. "Thank you for being here," he whispered quietly, his eyes brimming with love. "It means everything to me."
You grinned and leaned in to kiss him gently. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be," you said quietly.
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book recs: may 2025
first recs post in nearly a year! I plead: having a baby. turns out they surgically remove all your free time, who knew?? but I've been reading in tiny doses and now am able to read in LARGER doses so let's do this. highlights from the past year.
*means not yet released; read as an ARC.
FLOWERS FROM THE STORM by laura kinsale - I only discovered kinsale recently but I was electrified. halfway between georgette heyer and dorothy dunnett. this book in particular is bonkers intense and absolutely wonderful. the hero has had an aphasic stroke and the heroine is a quaker. yes I know. read it anyway. life-changing.
THE SENTENCE by louise erdrich - literary fiction about a year in the life of a native american ex-felon bookseller haunted by a dead customer. I fucking adored this. it's like taking a big bite of a perfectly cooked steak: rich, meaty, satisfying, self-indulgent. a perfect treat for book nerds.
SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY by alexis hall - this is kind of a comedic romance novel about an aromantic woman who semi-kidnaps and marries her gay friend for Regency Reasons, and kind of a cross-country romp in which they collect sex partners, and very full of long grown-up discussions about feelings and family and priorities. it shouldn't work and yet I was HOOKED. the third in a series; I do recommend reading the other two for context.
*AN ACADEMIC AFFAIR by jodi mcalister - marriage of convenience for the extremely valid reason of academic partner employment clauses. I am obsessed with jodi's romances and this one is very sharp about how fucked up academia is while also being blissfully swoony and bantery. can't wait for the others in this series, too.
YOU ARE HERE: NINE MORE STORIES by iona datt sharma - I will sing iona's praises with my dying breath. deft, devastating, delicious. every one of these stories is a jewel. I will also throw in a rec for BLOOD SWEAT GLITTER, their recent romance novella about roller derby and trauma recovery.
WOOING THE WITCH QUEEN by stephanie burgis - romantasy girlies, assemble! this is a fun & satisfying story about a powerful woman trying to hold her kingdom together and the hot archduke she accidentally hires to be her magical librarian. found family! secret identities! a heartwarming banger.
*LADIES IN HATING by alexandra vasti - what if we were rival gothic novelists with a secret shared past and we got stuck in a Haunted Manor and had to have a lot of feelings about it while in surprising amounts of peril? sapphic histrom doesn't get better than this.
I SHALL NEVER FALL IN LOVE by hari conner - a graphic novel queer retelling of emma, which is one of my favourite austens. this is thoughtfully researched and grounded in history, has lovely and very funny art, and was a shot of pure joy.
*THE EVERLASTING by alix harrow - can't believe alix is out here grinding my heart into little pieces YET AGAIN. a tired lady knight and the historian trying to chronicle her life and control her ending get stuck in a time loop. this is about the violence of history and empire and narrative. it's brutal. it's romantic. it's so so so so SO good.
THUS WAS ADONIS MURDERED by sarah caudwell - I almost don't want to give too much away about this, because I went in with zero knowledge and had a blast. it's a murder mystery. it's extremely funny. go forth, enjoy.
EUPHORIA by lily king - not funny at all but a perfectly crafted, fairly short gem of a historical litfic novel. it's about the relationships between three anthropologists. it's very hard to describe. but I can't stop thinking about this book.
THE SAFEKEEP by yael van der wouden. also historical litfic and even shorter! even less funny! even more amazing! a bitter, repressed woman plays reluctant host to her brother's girlfriend; history, yearning, secrets and denial create a crucible of emotion and lust.
*THE DUKE by anna cowan - what if the rich, rakish, unrepentant duke of every regency romance was a woman? what if her love interest was a french courtesan who's blackmailing her? anna cowan's first book was WAY ahead of its time when it comes to fucky delicious gender stuff, and this one is equally great.
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I'm
I'm really curious about Twin Drones
Twin Drones is a Twin Runes AU created by two friends of mine. It's still a work-in-progress and mainly just two people passing ideas back and forth for now.
Also, please don't go thinking it's some Murder Drones crossover. The name Drones was chosen because it sounds similar to Runes and because Kris and Frisk are robots in said AU. Simple as that.
I've seen a couple of snippets of it and am a huge fan of the "human" aspect of it. There is an underlying theme of "original purpose vs. self-actualization".
One of the people working on it drew comparisons to the story of Pinocchio in a way. So I just...
Also it's fun, because these are TECHNICALLY all the same characters, but still very different in behavior. Especially when dealing with emotions.
I'm not gonna post too much about it, simply out of respect for them and THEIR work. It is THEIR story, after all. I have offered my help to them in the future, but my overall influence on the project is very minimal. For now it's just a little fun thing between two friends.
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Actual Ultimate Classpecting Guide
For real this time.
Buckle up, this is a really long one. For everything that's posited, I can provide textual evidence; that being said, I'm not going to be including the textual evidence within the essay itself, because it's already long enough as-is. As such, please feel free to ask for clarification or sources on any assertion, and I'll do my best to provide.
Before we begin, there's some things to discuss about how we're going to be approaching classpect in the following essay. In numbered list form for our short attention spans:
1. There is a concept Hussie talks about multiple times in his book commentary, "personality alchemy" - the idea that there are these "platonic ideals" of certain characters, which can be mixed and matched with others, in order to create new characters. The examples he gives are of how Eridan was a proto-Caliborn, how Kanaya has shades of Jade, how Nepeta was a proto-Calliope, and how Sollux and Eridan have shades of Dave in them. Classpecting is fundamentally a form of this personality alchemy:
2. Class describes the character's arc and emotional hurdles, while Aspect describes the character's base personality traits by which this arc is experienced.
3. For example, all three Seers struggle with hubris: Rose's need to be the smartest person in the room led to her being manipulated by Doc Scratch, Terezi's obsession with meting justice led to her engineering a situation where the only option was to kill Vriska, and Kankri's desire to be seen as a spiritual leader amongst his friends led to him furthering their divisions and harming them.
Then, when their pride is shattered, they cope by inflicting willful self-blindness: Rose turns to drinking herself stupid (the opposite of Light's sway over knowledge), Terezi gets down with the clown (the opposite of meting out Mind's justice, as it's a Gamzee W), Kankri goes celibate (Blood L) despite his clear romantic feelings for certain teammates.
4. As for Aspect: note how all three Life players share the personality traits of optimism, stubbornness, and obstinacy. All three Breath players share an immaturity and naĂŻvety, and are quite frankly irresistible to people for some reason. All three Light players share a need for the spotlight and a tendency toward long-windedness and persnicketiness. So on and so forth.
What's interesting is, if you start analyzing characters that share Classes and Aspects, these specific types of similarity crop up over and over - all our Knights struggle with insecurities and facades, both our Bards have a crisis of faith. All three Breath players have an aspect of immaturity and childishness to their characters, and all three Light players are deeply concerned with appearing intelligent and feeling important.
5. As a result, this guide is NOT intended for classpecting real life people, because we are complicated, we contain multitudes, and we don't have arcs. This is primarily an analysis of what Class and Aspect mean in Homestuck based on textual evidence, because I genuinely believe that you can basically figure it out if you read carefully.
6. Duality, and the idea of "equal and opposite," are major themes within Homestuck - Prospit and Derse, Skaia (described as a crucible of birth and creativity) and the Furthest Ring (the literal afterlife). Which classes are involved in an Active/Passive split, and opposing Aspects, are the same way. This is the primary method I used to determine the Active/Passive pairings and opposing Aspects. After all, as Callie describes, both Thieves and Rogues are classes "who steal" - so, too, do I try to unify Classes by a common theme, even if they diverge wildly in how that theme is expressed (as Thieves and Rogues do). In the same way as the opposite of "up" is not "apple," but "down", because "up" and "down" are both fundamentally concerned with relative vertical position, so too can be defined concepts like Breath and Blood, Hope and Rage, Light and Void - as well as the reasoning behind Class pairings like Heir and Page, Maid and Knight, and Seer and Mage.
7. Descriptions for both Class and Aspect are left deliberately vague and up to interpretation within the comic itself, and this is by design: the actual manifestations of an Aspect can vary wildly given the Class, and even individual person, that it's tied to. Calliope even makes note of the fact that, under the right circumstances, someone can manifest effects that appear to be the opposite of their aspect. She's also careful to couch her language in "may" and "can" - because these concepts are intentionally somewhat nebulous and malleable. As such, while this guide certainly lays down what can be gleaned and inferred from the text, do note that Homestuck runs on a soft magic system, and as such, nothing stated is firm, 100%, must-always-be-this-way - just an overview of what we've seen.
8. There is often great overlap between Aspects, Classes, and Classpects - which Calliope herself notes. Heart and Blood are one of the most salient, as they both have a fixation on relationships, and Calliope mentions that under the right circumstances, a Classpect may even be able to manifest what appears to be the opposite of their Aspect. Again, Homestuck operates on a soft magic system, so this is a feature, not a bug.
ASPECT
There's a little less to say about Aspect, not because it's less complicated, but because "base personality traits" are much more nebulous compared to Class's sway over character arc. Still, Aspect represents the fundamental way a character is, and thus, color every interaction that character has. There's a reason Ultimate Selfhood is sought through Aspect, not Class - Aspect is the core of the character's being, what makes that person that person.
That all being said, Class has major sway over how an Aspect manifests, and certain classes can even invert the Aspect and even the character's role in the party. As such, these descriptions must be parsed carefully in relation to Class. Moreover, due to the soft magic system, there is at times overlap between unrelated Aspects, which can also be exacerbated by Class - Heart and Blood being the most obvious in this regard. Still, overall, you'll find the Aspects to be fairly distinct from one another.
Please also note that every Aspect can deal with its literal counterpart by default - Light players can wield lasers, Breath players can wield the breeze, et cetera. Because this kind of goes without saying, and because the non-literal stuff is more interesting to discuss, I'm not really going to go into too much detail about the literal qualities.
Finally, something interesting to note is that nearly every Aspect follows its own Hero's Journey cycle - full actualization for each one usually means reaching around to its opposite Aspect, and taking lessons from them - for example, Breath players need to learn maturity and responsibility, while Blood players need to learn relaxation and whimsy. Thus, an Aspect at its worst manifests in two ways - either a toxic overabundance of the Aspect's worst traits, or such a dearth of the aspect that it begins to resemble its opposite. Only by reaching into the opposite, however, can the player be tempered and reach full maturity - can they become more of who they are.
SPACE / TIME
Space and Time are both concerned with physical reality, goals, and the way one approaches them.
Space is associated with "the big picture" - with recycling, reproduction, and the interconnectivity of all things. The aspect also presides over the enjoyment of the journey over the destination - Space players serve as reminders that the present moment is as important as the end goal. Space is often a more passive Aspect, being the stage upon which the story is set. They're the hosts of the party, and the one who marks the ending.
Its players reflect these tendencies, often being feminine, with penchants for life-giving acts such as gardening. Their personalities tend towards frivolity and silliness, finding it difficult to stay on-topic or bring full gravitas to serious situations. Perhaps a better word would be "distractable;" when the aspect is so concerned with all things in connection with each other, it's easy to lose track of details, and it's easy to enjoy things simply as they come. Space players tend to be kind, patient, and forgiving, which is a strength as much as it is a flaw; it's easy for malicious actors to take advantage of this compassion, or for the Space player to find themselves in a poor situation by being overly permissive. They can easily be painted over by stronger personalities, and tend to struggle with romantic relationships, as they attract many with their kind and giving natures, and few are naturally so considerate of the Space player in turn.
"Passive" is a good word to use; at a toxic overabundance of their Aspect, Space players are trampled underfoot. They become enablers, servants to dark forces, or so lost in their own worlds that they neglect the one they live in. With their Aspect "inverted," a Space player becomes a demon of poor prioritization. Distracting not just themselves from their true purpose, but others, too, the Space player will wreak havoc by overemphasizing unimportant topics and ignoring important tasks. This superficially resembles Time, in that the Space player will become fanatically dedicated to their task, but note that the poor prioritization is still Space-esque at its core.
Still, within this nadir is a valuable lesson: the strength of self-assertion, and the determination to see a goal through. These will allow the Space player to weed their garden, separating good from bad, allowing it to flourish like never before.
Time, in contrast, is associated with "the little things" - with details, minutiae, and processes. Time presides over the struggle toward something greater, the endurance of hardship with an eye on the prize - the destination over the journey. Time players are the ones keeping track of the tasklist, marking off each item as it reaches completion; they are the tireless workers keeping the whole engine running.
Time players, thus, are ones whose lives are marked by struggle. They are highly goal-oriented; in contrast to how Space players can easily move from goal to goal, task to task, Time players feel bound to see things through to the end, finding satisfaction only when they've achieved their desired result - and only until they come across the next goal in their journey. A Time player isn't happy without a goal to work towards, a craft to polish, a prize to win - but this driven nature can easily be its own downfall, as it leaves little room for the player to admit to their own shortcomings, or ask for help from others. Moreover, their focus on minutiae can leave them blinded to the bigger picture, and it's easy for a time player to fall to despair, able to do nothing more but spin their wheels. They're prone to directionless anguish, frustration, and resentment towards the seeming futility of their actions, becoming destructive and defiant even when it doesn't serve them to do so.
At a toxic overabundance of their Aspect, Time players become explosively destructive. The ultimate "goal" of all things is death, with which Time is associated, and accordingly, Time players have a penchant for aligning themselves with futility and entropy, struggling so hard that their thrashing leaves a trail of annihilation in their wake. With their Aspect "inverted," Time players detach entirely - they can become so fed up with struggle that they simply opt to lay their weapons down and let the end take them. It's very easy for them to come to the conclusions that either everything matters, or nothing matters. This superficially resembles Space and its big picture thinking, but note that its framework of struggle, and whether or not a goal needs to be pursued, makes it a Time concern.
But the inherent meaninglessness of existence is, in itself, an important realization to make - that whether or not anything "matters" in the grand scheme, things can still be worth doing, worth caring about, and worth investing in. This realization allows the Time player to attack their goals with renewed vigor and greater clarity, which in turn means that the party becomes an efficient, well-oiled machine.
BREATH / BLOOD
Breath and Blood are both concerned with directionality, interpersonal relationships, and autonomy.
Breath is the Aspect governing freedom, liberty, and independence; it is a force that breaks shackles, clears out social norms, and refutes "the rules," whatever those rules may be. Breath players can't be tied down, whether by physical bonds, societal rules, or even the ineffable forces of the narrative itself. They are leaders of example, pioneers, and trailblazers, opening new paths for their teammates to follow.
Breath players are goofy and gullible, often with hearts full of childlike whimsy, naivety, and even immaturity. They are friendly and well-meaning, fond of simpler things, and easily swayed by others. They approach the world with a sincere and innocent good-naturedness, like a baby animal before it learns to be fearful of danger. Something about this sincerity seems to make Breath players irresistible to others, and they often find themselves the subject of romantic attraction. However, in this childishness is also the great pitfall of many Breath players - their natures are naturally conflict-averse, and egotistical the way a child can be, failing to see beyond themselves. They can be incredibly callous when not considering the consequences of their actions, or the viewpoints of others.
At their worst, Breath players are irresponsible and callous. They'll shirk the consequences of their actions, blaming anybody but themselves, or simply choose not to care who they hurt in order to get what they want. They may even choose to stop making choices for themselves, leading to the "inversion" of their Aspect - a voluntary loss of freedom and independence, derived from an Breath-like aversion to responsibility, which superficially resembles the bondage of Blood.
But if they are able to overcome these tendencies, a Breath player will learn what true responsibility looks like - responsibility for themselves, their choices, and the effect they have on others. Armed with this, a Breath player's ability to break bonds can be focused into a clear force for good, clearing away all obstacles and harmful societal standards, leading the charge into something new and beautiful.
Blood, in sharp contrast, is the aspect that governs bondage, contracts, and interdependence. It is a force that binds. Under Blood's sway are not only romantic entanglements, but familial, friendly, and societal ones as well. This aspect sees overlap with Heart, but the division is this: Heart concerns itself with feelings, and Blood concerns itself with compatibility. Blood players are diplomats, forces that remind us all that we are more similar than we are different, and that that similarity should bring us together when we are on the verge of pulling apart.
Blood players, reflective of their Aspect's association with bonds, tend to be neurotic and obsessive. They have a tendency to over-examine and overthink, constantly fretting over the infinite and infinitesimal variables that influence the shape of society and interpersonal relationships. However, this judgmental nature stems from a deep well of idealism and empathy; Blood players can't help but care about others and wish for the best for them. In a way, this makes them one of the most mature members of the team, being concerned with its overall well-being. Unfortunately, their prowess does not extend inwards, and their assessment of themselves is usually direly incorrect - all the worse because Blood players always feel responsible for those around them. Blood, being the Aspect concerned with interdependence, is the weakest one when all alone.
Thus, it's easy for the Blood player to wind up controlling - desperate to make sure everyone is moving according to their vision, they'll become iron-fisted dictators, with a "my way or the highway" approach to social interactions. It's easy for them to wind up pariahs of their own making, becoming so critical of others, or so adamant about enforcing their own will, that they inadvertantly sever their ties - something that superficially resembles Breath's independence, but is truly a result of Blood's neuroticism.
But with that space and separation can come great clarity. Blood players must learn to relax their grip, and allow people room to breathe - including themselves. Once able to grasp that sometimes bonds must be forged with a soft touch, Blood players' natural empathy shines through, allowing them to build something so much kinder and greater than the sum of its parts.
LIGHT / VOID
Light and Void are both concerned with knowledge, ontology, and "narrative relevance".
Light (as well as its counterpart) are perhaps best understood through the lens of "narrative" - this idea that, of all things that do and don't exist, and all events that do and don't happen, only the ones put to page are "relevant". Thus, Light is associated with knowledge and luck - that is to say, it's associated with the knowable, the objective, and the concrete, and the ability to determine "important" events. Light players have read the book they're participating in, and able to serve as luminary guides from one plot point to another, lighting the lampposts for others to follow.
Light players, naturally, are erudite and educated, possessing keen intellects and cunning minds. They are fond of knowledge itself, of markers of status and prestige - whether that's wealth, the adulation of the masses, or a massive library. They harbor a desire to be important, to be seen, to be acknowledged, and are happiest when they are looked up to. Conversely, they deal poorly with being looked down upon. Their confidence transmutes easily into hubris, and they struggle with having that pride challenged. As such, they tend to be volatile and unpredictable, quick to retaliate against those who threaten their egos, or obsequious to those whose acknowledgement they desire.
Their desire for the limelight can quickly spell disaster - they can become incredibly cruel, harsh, and egotistical in their pursuit of narrative significance. They forget, in their obsession, that they, too, are fallible and flawed, and the inevitable reminder can come very harshly. Light players struggle with moderation, and as such, when they feel shame, they'll often take drastic measures to cope with it - deliberately darkening their own influence or intellects, removing themselves from the "story" entirely - something which superficially resembles Void's penchant for the background, but which is firmly rooted in Light's obsessive need for drama.
But in experimenting with narrative insignificance, Light players can reach an epiphany - in their absence, others may shine, and that can be a wonderful thing. Light players, then, can learn to shine not just for their own sakes, but for the sake of others, allowing them to weave a story even more brilliant than any that can be weaved alone.
Void, in contrast, is the blank spaces between the words. That which is secret, subjective, unknowable - these are Void's domain. It's associated with taboos and hidden things, sexuality and pleasure. It's also associated with the empty canvas - the blank space before creation, and the oblivion to which creation is eventually destined for. Thus, it stands for infinite possibility, though the collapse of those possibilities into a reality removes that reality from Void's domain.
Thus are Void players ever cosigned to the background, though this generally suits them fine. Void players are very self-possessed. Where Light players tend to exaggerate and complicate, Void players are honest and simple, preferring straightforward solutions. They don't tend to think very hard, instead letting intuition and emotion guide them to where they want to be - which makes them one of the more stable personalities on a team. However, this simplistic, feelings-driven approach often leads to pleasure-seeking behavior, poor impulse control, and overindulgence in vice, and from there, to irrelevance, with which Void is so closely interlinked.
Void players are especially prone to vice, and at their worst, will become so drunk on pleasurable activities that they pursue them to the active detriment of the party's goals or the Void player's self-improvement - making them the ultimate irrelevant character. They can also very easily drag others into their mélange, with a forcefulness that resembles Light's illuminating guidance, but which is ultimately rooted in Void's pursuit of personal pleasure.
But there's a lesson to be learned in Light's domain: how to bring themselves into relevance and greatness. A Void player, once they learn to pursue not just personal pleasure, but a greater satisfaction for the collective whole, can drag the Void behind them, kicking and screaming, to where it'll be of use.
MIND / HEART
Mind and Heart are concerned with what it means to be a sentient being, with identity, and with why we do what we do.
Mind is the Aspect associated with logic, rationality, karma, ethics, and justice. To a Mind player, they "are" because they "think". They are keenly aware of the consequences of every action, and well-versed in cognition and behavior, such to the point of manipulating others with ease. Deeply concerned with the "effect" of cause-and-effect, Mind players are always cognizant of debts and credits, where justice is owed and where it has been over-meted, and their subtle machinations culminate, like well-placed dominoes, in grand and explosive finales.
Mind players are schemers - it's in their nature. They have a tendency to view the world as a puzzle or game, with themselves and the people around them as pieces on a board, and set as their standard rules the laws of ethics and karma - owed debts and overhanging credit - guilty and innocent. Mind players are wickedly cunning, and have an high success rate with every scheme they commit themselves to, but the grand downfall of all these tendencies is that they tend to lack in a sense of identity, and have a poor grasp on their own emotions or desires. While they may know how to provoke a desired reaction, they don't know how to change someone's mind. They often find themselves grappling very painfully with their own selfhood, with feelings of emptiness, inadequacy, or uncertainty.
Thus, a Mind player at the worst zenith of their Aspect is heartless and cruel. Leaving no space for empathy or even personal feelings in their plans, the Mind player will plot for an ending as heartless as they are. But a Mind player is never truly without emotion, and ignoring their own feelings causes them to manifest in terrible ways - Mind players have a tendency to seek toxic, codependent relationships, hoping to find external validation, subjecting themselves to the wishes of others, which can appear like Heart's fixation on feelings and desire.
But in recognizing their own need for emotional validation, and the importance of their own feelings, a Mind player can realize that there's an entire dimension to the game they've been playing that they've been ignorant of. When a Mind player learns to temper their schemes with empathy, compassion, and kindness, how much more success they'll see - and how much happier that grand finale will be!
Heart, then, is associated with feelings, motivations, intuition, the soul, and the self. To a Heart player, they "are" because they "feel" like they are - and they're keenly aware of the multitudes that are contained within themselves. Deeply concerned with the "cause" of cause-and-effect, they're drawn to desires, those of themselves and of others, especially where strong feelings are concerned. Heart players are gifted with an intuitive understanding of those around them, both their good and bad qualities, and are tasked with the grand task of bringing out the best.
It stands to reason, then, that Heart players have a firm grasp on who they are and what they want. For the same reasons, it's difficult for a Heart player to truly hate or condemn another person, because they are so adept at understanding them. However, this understanding comes with a price - because the Heart player is so aware of themselves, they can't escape their own worst traits - nobody self-loathes as accurately as a Heart player can. Nor can they ever truly be untruthful with another, making them poor manipulators. Capable of presenting a different facet of themselves as the situation calls for it, certainly, but just as it's impossible to lie to a Heart player, who always knows how someone really feels, it's impossible for a Heart player to lie to themselves.
With this sincerity comes vulnerability. Heart players wear theirs on their sleeves, and at their worst, this can make them demanding, needy, and sensitive - so eager to connect with others emotionally that they'll cramp themselves to fit others' desires. But they can't ever keep this up for long; Heart players have a tendency to withdraw from others after being hurt too often, finding it easier to be alone and silent about their feelings than to deal with the pain of rejection. They may even work to manipulate others, preying on their emotions and desires to force them to act in their worst interests. This superficially resembles Mind's cold logic, but unlike Mind's cool rationality, Heart's aloofness is a mask, an attempt to avoid pain by pulling away.
But this isn't purely a negative, because a Heart player can learn a healthier form of detachment, and separate out healthy and helpful desires from harmful and detrimental ones. Given this clarity, the Heart player becomes the team's emotional core, able to raise up each teammate's best qualities, while helping them deal with their worst, enabling everyone to be the best possible version of themselves - which the Heart player knew them to be all along.
LIFE / DOOM
Life and Doom are concerned with outlook, with journeys, and with trials and tribulations.
Life is an aspect concerned with healing, growing, and improving. It is associated with beginnings, optimism, and positive emotions. The very essence of Life lies in its healing abilities, in this idea of overcoming the odds and triumphing over hardship and difficulty. Life is action, movement, and motion, and its players can scarcely hold still. Life will find a way - and Life players harbor the same immutable belief; they are the most stubborn weeds in the garden, the cockroach that survives the apocalypse, and the beating heart that refuses to stop.
Life players tend to be optimistic and confident. They are self-assured individuals, with a stubborn belief that good things are on their way, and any hardship they face is not only temporary, but something that can be overcome. They can find the silver lining in any cloud, and enjoy themselves under any circumstance. They love to nurture, to care for others, though this love has a tendency to be one-sided. Indeed, Life's stubborn nature is its players' greatest pitfall; their persistence easily becomes obstinacy, and their confidence can become condescension. Their self-assured nature easily becomes egotism, and they can have great difficulty grappling with those who don't share their views - even coming to oppose those who bring emotional pain and suffering that can't be easily fixed.
It's very easy for a Life player to decide another person isn't worth their attention, and opt to leave them behind - after all, Life has to move forward, no matter what it tramples in the process. At their worst, they're stubborn to the point of not listening to anyone but themselves, confidence becoming blockheadedness. This focus on forward progress without looking back can even cause Life players to become harmful to others, so focused they are on their own growth that they don't notice that they're choking everyone else out. This may resemble Doom's death in its worst case - arresting everything else, eventually blocking even their own path with unruly, out-of-control fecundity.
Thus, a Life player needs to learn to more gracefully accept Doom's influence - to pause, slow down, and consider viewpoints that are negative, unpleasant, or difficult. A Life player, endowed with moderation, will be able to cultivate a bountiful garden, rather than an unruly jungle - a place for all to flourish and live in plenty, never wanting for anything.
Doom, then, is the aspect concerned with death, with rest, and with endings. Doom is associated with suffering and with negative emotions, with peace, with sleep, and with dreams. Doom players have a natural penchant for prophecy, and are often dual dreamers, able to take advantage of both Skaia's oracular clouds and the Horrorterrors' voices over Derse. All things must eventually come to an end, and not all times will be good; in these troubling times, Doom players shine, as they are the guides who call the murk home, and know best how to navigate rough waters, course-correcting until the storm passes.
Doom players tend to be deeply pessimistic. They experience, to a much more magnified degree than others, negative feelings and impulses, and it's difficult for them to see the world without seeing its flaws, first and foremost. They are not healers, but commiserators, those who understand greatest that sometimes there's no way to deal with tragedy but to simply sit with it and wait for it to pass. The counterpoint to Life's insistence on breathless positivity, Doom is a reminder that pain, grief, sadness, shame, and guilt are not unnecessary things - in fact, excising them can lead to terrible consequences. Doom players are the universe's martyrs, often taking it upon themselves to course-correct, to sacrifice themselves in order to give others a chance to continue on, to avert a terrible fate.
Unfortunately, this tendency also brings with it a tendency for Doom players to wallow in misfortune, or worse, to take themselves out of the picture, giving up entirely on seeing a better ending. As if energized by their own sense of futility, a Doom player at the "inverse" of their aspect may seem to echo a Life player's focus on forward progress and motion, actively spurring their team on towards an untimely demise.
A Doom player must learn to harness this sense of progress for good, rather than harm. A Doom player, once able to grasp the joy of life even in the greatest depths of despair, will be able to fill even the darkest hours with peace, meaning, and hope.
HOPE / RAGE
Hope and Rage are concerned with permission, and are the lens by which we define reality.
Hope is described by Hussie in the book commentary as being "framed as the most powerful aspect" because it is, literally, an aspect that defines reality. Its specific ability is lies in reducing the "fakeness attribute" of something, thus making it "real". Hope is associated with convictions, with idealism, with faith, order, holiness, and, of course, with magic - which Hope turns real. Hope is permission itself - a reality-breaking ability to look at the world and decree that it must be another way, a way in which the Hope player believes it ought to be.
Thus, Hope players tend to be hard-headed zealots, with no self-awareness whatsoever. Their inclination towards powerful beliefs makes them very difficult to dissuade from a path they've set their minds to, and their specific suite of abilities makes them terrifyingly likely to make their vision come true. Hope players are usually not particularly cunning, nor particularly intelligent, nor even particularly empathetic. Given the Aspect's focus on conviction and faith, it's usually very difficult for Hope players to notice anything occurring beyond their own minds and feelings. Thus are Hope players hopeless optimists, hopeless romantics, and hopeless in general - often great sources of embarrassment to their teams, as their naked sincerity is painful to witness. However, their ability to define reality does not leave them when their beliefs are faulty (which they often are, given Hope players are not particularly introspective, either), which is what makes a Hope player so dangerous.
A Hope player can easily be set on the wrong path - as convicted as they are, and as difficult to shake from that conviction as they can be, Hope players can easily march down a path of destruction, if not persuaded with a deft touch and gentle guidance. In the event that their faith is broken, Hope players easily become despondent and lost, floundering and wishy-washy, which superficially resembles Rage's self-consciousness, but is truly just a lack of direction.
But Rage has a powerful lesson to teach Hope players - that of questioning themselves, interrogating their own beliefs. Once their convictions have gone through rigorous scrutiny, revised into the best, brightest versions of themselves they can be, a Hope player is a worker of miracles - speaking into existence a beautiful future on faith alone, proclaiming that how they see the world is how the world shall be.
Rage, then, is the power of denial. If Hope reduces the "fakness" of a thing, then Rage reduces its "realness". Rage, too, is a means of defining reality, in this case taking a torch to the aspects of reality that it rejects. In more passive Classes, this works in subtler ways, stoking others towards destructive fury. Rage is associated with anarchy, chaos, revolution, destruction, anger, and nihilism. A Rage player will not suffer a world that does not satisfy them, breaking it to pieces, such that something new can take its place.
Therefore, Rage players are prone to harboring anger and resentment, discontentment with the status quo, and faith only in that what currently exists must somehow be dismantled. However, unlike Hope players, who can't help but be pathetically sincere, Rage players are incredibly self-conscious, and often try to mask and hide their embitterment and anger. This, ironically, leads to further ostracization, as others can tell they're being inauthentic. This only further compounds their sense of alienation, and drives them further into smoldering resentment. This makes Rage players sound volatile and dangerous, and they are - but the same fury that moves them is the fury that ignites revolts and tears down oppressive regimes, a necessary and vital well of energy and momentum. It takes careful handling to ensure that the team's Rage player can channel this energy towards righteous causes, rather than marking all as a target for their destructive ire.
In the worst-case scenario, the Rage player turns that rage out indiscriminately, deciding that there is nothing worth fighting for - only unpleasant things to be brought to ruin. This is Rage at its toxic overabundance. Conversely, a Rage player can retreat so harshly into their mask that they allow others to dictate their beliefs, taking them to heart - an action motivated by Rage's destruction (this time, turned inwards) that superficially resembles Hope's convictions and faith.
The true path for a Rage player is a healthy balance - to allow themselves some of Hope's sincerity, and by doing so, to become more sincere and true. This will let them release the pressure of their mounting ire, such that it can be converted into productive, rather than destructive, energy - the heralds of a revolution, razing away the faulty, corrupt old systems such that something better and new can take their place.
CLASS
As previously stated, Class governs a character's character arc - the character's starting circumstances, whether their conflict is primarily internal or external, and what major aspect of their Aspect becomes a hurdle for them to overcome.
In the same way an Aspect's sways tie into the character's base personality, the character's Class abilities tie into the kinds of struggles they face, and have great influence on how their Aspects manifest.
That being said, a character - and their Class - are always subject to their Aspect, as their Aspect is tied fundamentally into who they are. Thus, it can be said that a Light player will always have an affinity for knowledge and provide Seer-esque guidance even when not in a Seer role, a Doom player will always have prophetic abilities even with a non-prophetic class (note that Mituna, an Heir, still had prophetic visions, despite those generally being the realm of Mages and Seers), and a Life player will always have a penchant for healing, even paired with a destructive Class like Prince or Thief (the Condesce, after all, could still extend life; a Prince of Life would likely manifest not as one who causes plants to wither and die (this would actually suit a Prince of Doom), but one who destroys in the way of nature overtaking an abandoned shack, or a forest breaking down a body).
This means that when a character's Classpect inverts their Aspect, it doesn't mean that they suddenly become a hero of the opposing Aspect - rather, it means that, at their very worst - at the nadirs of their character arcs - they will lean so much into their Aspect's worst traits that it will superficially appear as the opposite, when all it really is is an absence of themselves. Dave, a Time player, usually so attentive to detail (despite his disaffected facade, he's always paying rapt attention to Karkat's rants, and noticing all the clues pointing to his destiny of defeating LE), at his lowest emotional point (arguing with Grimbark Jade after sobbing about his lost childhood whimsy), states that he doesn't think Lord English is that big a deal, and never even did anything directly bad to him or his friends - when he was literally directly haunted by LE via Cal his entire childhood. Similarly, Rose drinks herself stupid in order to cope with her mother's death.
Note how, superficially, this almost appears to be an invocation of Space's "big picture thinking," its passivity and permissibility, or how Rose's case appears to be Void's tendency to indulge in vices and pleasure - but they're not. Time's worst traits superficially resemble Space, Light's resemble Void, and vice versa - Grimbark Jade is the Condesce's taskmaster, and Porrim at her worst was as much of a nag as Kankri, trying to do a Time player's managerial job. Horuss and Equius at their worst won't shut up and won't stop talking over their partners. So on and so forth.
Finally, Calliope tells us a couple things about Active/Passive pairings. The first is that Calliope introduces the idea of paired classes with the idea that both Rogues and Thieves "steal" (and later, that both Princes and Bards "destroy"). This presents the idea that both classes can be roughly summed up with the idea that every pairing can be summed up with a common theme.
The second is her description of what makes a Class Active versus Passive - that Active Classes move their Aspect to benefit themselves, whereas Passive Classes allow their Aspect to be moved in order for others to benefit. In a way, they're like active and passive voice in grammar (to tie in with the way Classes and Aspects are so tied to ideas of narrative and character arc) - an Active Class performs their Aspect, and a Passive Class allows the Aspect to be performed "by others" (the famous piece of advice regarding telling the two apart being that a sentence written in passive voice can have "by zombies" tacked to the end of it - eg, John is attacked "by zombies", as compared to active voice - John attacks).
Thus, the Class pairings, along with their basic themes, are as follows:
KNIGHT - / MAID +
"One who controls."
Knights and Maids are paired together through two key factors: the first is that they both hold leadership or managerial roles; the second is that both classes carry the connotation of serving a Lord. Fittingly, they are both struggle with the control of malicious forces - Knights with prophecies indicating their role as heroes, Maids with direct usurpation by malicious forces.
PAGE - / HEIR +
"One who inherits."
Pages and Heirs are paired together because they both fundamentally deal with the great inheritances placed before them. Pages can come into incredible, limitless power - but they must struggle and work hard for it; Heirs begin the game in societal comfort and wealth, and must learn to defect from their decadence.
THIEF - / ROGUE +
"One who steals."
Thieves and Rogues are highly adaptable, as Thieves are capable of fantastic on-the-fly adaptation, whereas Rogues have an infinite toolbox at their disposal. They are both provocateurs, shakers of the status quo, though the Thief does so for personal gain, while the Rogue does so to right injustice.
MAGE - / SEER +
"One who guides."
Mages and Seers are tied together by the gift of prophecy and future sight. Seers are privy to the endless branching paths that the future may take, while Mages are gifted with the ability to outright determine a future that will certainly happen, appearing to be prophecy.
WITCH - / SYLPH +
"One who changes."
Witches and Sylphs are individuals blessed with great magic, but poor judgement. Sylphs heal and nurture, but are drawn to those with strong desires, and enable them to cause great harm; Witches, meanwhile, possess strong emotions, which they often use as moral guidance, for better or worse.
PRINCE - / BARD +
"One who destroys."
Princes and Bards are representatives of society - the one who determines its course, and the one who recounts its passing. Princes suffer from a toxic overabundance of Aspect, and are prone to spectacular meltdowns, whereas Bards are always poised for a crisis of faith. Both are responsible for catastrophic failures - but also breathless victories.
INDIVIDUAL CLASSES
KNIGHT
"One who controls [Aspect] or controls using [Aspect]."
Knights are frontline warriors, rallying points behind which the party falls into line. Although they are often leaders, just as often, they are logistical planners, strategists, or simply the team's beating heart. They are almost always thrust into positions of narrative significance, often carrying grand destinies or even outright heroic prophecies on their shoulders. The are the party's rallying force, its center, and a guiding light - the one to lead the charge, behind which the party will follow.
The primary character struggle a Knight will have is with crippling insecurity. Knights are prone to self-loathing and imposter syndrome, and will often adopt a façade in direct opposition to their aspect (ie, their fundamental personality) in order to cope with their feelings of inadequacy. Thus, their relationship with their aspect becomes love/hate - though they're naturally drawn to their aspect, and even naturally skilled at utilizing it, they have a tendency to become their own worst enemy, as their insecurities make them push their façades, and their façades distance them from their aspect.
"Controlling their Aspect" means that the Knight has easy access to their Aspect, wielding it like a tool or weapon - for good or for ill; "controlling using their Aspect" is what grants Knights their leadership abilities, able to dictate how others ought to act in accordance with the Knight's Aspect - whether their understanding of their Aspect is high or low, whether their advice is good or bad.
Therefore, at their worst, a Knight will fall prey to their insecurities, retreating into their facades, rejecting their Aspect, which will allow disharmony or misuse of it to proliferate throughout the team. They may even wind up deliberately twisting their Aspect's presence within the team so that they never have to be confronted by it; these distortions ripple outwards and eventually culminate in major catastrophes, all on account of the Knight's negligence.
But at their best, a Knight is a shining beacon and guiding light; when they come to terms with themselves, and allow themselves to be comfortable in their own skin - when they no longer allow themselves to be ruled by their insecurities and anxieties - they ensure that their aspect is harmonious wherever it appears throughout their party, and can wield it expertly as a weapon, as if it were their own flesh and blood.
MAID
"One who allows control through [Aspect] or allows [Aspect] to be controlled."
Unlike Knights, which take positions of frontline prominence, a Maid is a managerial presence in the backlines, though no less crucial for the smooth functioning of a party. Just as the invisible hands of the hired help keep a household running, the Maid will be called upon to provide vital services to keep the game stable, even if those services are more noticeable by their absence than their presence. Maids are often the party's unsung heroes or even shadow leaders, tugging at invisible strings, fingers on the pulse.
A Maid's primary character struggle will be that of escaping oppression. Maids tend to start the game in positions of subjugation or subservience, especially to malicious forces, and their abilities often end up being exploited to serve their masters' ends. Therefore, one may even have the impression that a Maid is ruled by their aspect, held prisoner and slave - at least until they're able turn the tables.
"Allowing their Aspect to be controlled" means that Maids are capable of directly dispensing their aspect unto others - a Maid of Time can dispense time unto foes, pausing them in their tracks; a Maid of Life can grant so much life that they can revive the dead. Their boons are great and direct, straightforward in a similar manner to Knights. "Allowing control through their Aspect" grants them their uncanny managerial abilities, as their aspect dictates the realm in which nothing occurs without the Maid's knowledge or permission, a realm made available to whomever the Maid's allegiance lies with.
Thus, at their worst, the Maid becomes a saboteur. Exploited by malign forces, their abilities to allow control over others through their aspect, or control of their aspect, makes them perfect vehicles by which their aspect can be hijacked or usurped, and made to turn against the party, and they often find themselves placed into these positions through no fault of their own. It takes the party banding together to shake off the forces that would keep a Maid in bondage.
However, at their best, Maids ensure that the party can never go too far off the rails. There is a place for everything, and everything will be in its place; a Maid is a supply line, a safe haven, and a promise that everything will be neat and tidy when the party returns from war. When the Maid belongs to themselves, their homestead becomes a fortress, and nothing occurs under the Maid's watchful eye without their express permission.
PAGE
"One who works to inherit [Aspect] or inherits [Aspect] for themselves."
Pages are a class defined by promise. As the name suggests, a Page begins weak, but has the great potential to develop into one of the most powerful players in the game. The exact nature of a Page's powers are vague, not because they are insignificant, but because they are so great that it's difficult to encompass them all. At the apex of their arcs, Pages are capable of miraculous feats, overpowering even Lords and Muses - if only they could reach that point and stay there.
A Page begins the game weakest of all, reflective of their long journey of growth. Where most classes only fall into deficit of their Aspect at their lowest emotional points, Pages begin their arcs in deficit - exhibiting character traits opposite to those their Aspect normally encompasses. Moreso than any other class, a Page must learn to grow into their Aspect. Weak-willed, naive, and easily hurt, Pages require careful nurturing if they're to come into their own.
"Working to inherit their Aspect" describes the endless journey of growth the Page must undertake - one with many missteps, backslides, and setbacks along the way. Still, they "inherit their aspect," meaning that their full potential, when realized, is overwhelmingly great - practically becoming their Aspect in humanoid form, capable of utilizing it to its glorious full potential.
However, their nature defeats them, and even if they can attain this state, the Page usually can't stay there for long. At their very worst, the Page's deficit of their Aspect's better qualities can turn the Page into a gravitic well of misfortune - an albatross about the party's neck, the centerpoint, if not inciting incident, of a massive disaster, as their team is sucked in by the Page's natural weakness.
But this is only true as it contrasts to a Page at their best - having grappled and won with the greatest of all weakness, a Page is poised to come into the greatest of all strength. Shown kindness, compassion, and support, a Page at full power reflects a party at their best. A Page at full strength is breathtaking to behold, an unstoppable force of nature, their Aspect made manifest.
HEIR
"One whom [Aspect] grants inheritance or inherits [Aspect] for others."
Heirs, in contrast to Pages, start the game strong. They usually belong to the upper echelons of their respective societies, a position of great wealth, leisure, and comfort, and are set to be inheritors of even greater wealth. Similarly, their Aspect comes to them as if of its own will - it is powerful, but difficult for the Heir to control, reflecting the wealth and status they've enjoyed as birthright.
An Heir's main challenge is that of examining their privilege, and learning where they wish to spread the gift they've been given. Because of their positions of sheltered comfort, Heirs are not particularly world-wise, and often harbor massive blind spots to the suffering of others and the ills of society. As such, they tend to be fairly aimless, given great power but no strong motivations, and have a tendency to simply indulge in their Aspect without contributing great help or hindrance to their team at all.
The Heir's Aspect is practically an independent entity. Being one whom "their Aspect grants them inheritance" refers to how the Heir starts powerful, able to summon their Aspect to perform great, miraculous acts. However, it is highly intuitive and difficult to control. The Heir's challenge lies not in attaining great power, but in attaining control over, and the ability to direct, their existing abilities. Once they do, they can "inherit their Aspect for others" - Heirs become a conduit through which their party can experience their Aspect, making it a usable pool of wealth for them all to draw from. However, because of their comfortable positions, many Heirs end up dallying, finding no pressing need to do so.
But this dallying hides a ticking clock. An Heir's inheritance will come to them, one way or another, and if they aren't ready to receive the great responsibilities that come with such great power, then the power will eventually consume them. An Heir with no clear direction will eventually become lost to their Aspect, entirely removing both from play. Like how wealthy inheritors simply become part of the status quo, so, too, does an Heir disappear into their Aspect, fixing it in place.
Thus, Heirs must learn where they have been blind, where they have been foolish, and what it means to be underprivileged. Then, once they turn their energies towards addressing those injustices - to taking responsibility for building a better future - when their wealth comes to them, they'll be able to distribute it where it's needed most. An Heir, fully-realized, brings their Aspect to heel, and makes it a resource available to their entire team, as if welcoming them all into the family.
THIEF
"One who steals [Aspect] or steals using [Aspect]."
Thieves are, as the name suggests, greedy - much of their arc revolves around a desire to amass wealth, though what's considered "wealth" varies based on the Thief and especially their Aspect. They tend to be callous people by nature, capable of ignoring or trampling over the feelings of others in order to take what they want, in the hopes of filling an emotional void the Thief may not even be fully aware of.
The Thief's playstyle is one of careful resource management. Reflecting a natural tendency to take "wealth" from others, Thieves are unable to use their Aspect without first "stealing" it - a subtractive act which leaves the victim bereft of the Aspect, weakening them in the process. Because of the finicky nature of these abilities, it takes great cunning to be a Thief, and the Class both demands and requires the player to be adaptable, flexible, and quick on their feet, able to effect complicated schemes and engineer the perfect situations for their powers to have the greatest effect. Thieves aren't necessarily strong, but they have a very high victory ratio, because they're experts at turning a situation to their own advantage.
"Stealing their Aspect" refers to the fundamental way in which the Thief class is played, this resource management game; "stealing using their Aspect" reflects how the Thief often becomes a malignant force within the party, viewing their own teammates as caches of wealth to plunder. Thieves are naturally prone to hurting others for their own purposes, craving drama and attention, and being of such callous dispositions that they're able to perform extreme acts of cruelty given the right motivations.
Thieves often become a target of ire within the party, disruptive forces whose quest for personal wealth and fulfillment comes at the cost of those around them. At their worst, they can bring so much heat down upon their own shoulders that the party feels the need to treat them like an enemy, which is disastrous for party harmony. Moreover, it's disastrous for the Thieves themselves, as Thieves seek wealth to compensate for some emotional emptiness, and making enemies of their friends only serves to deepen their ennui.
Thus, a Thief must be taught that true happiness and fulfillment doesn't come from the struggle for wealth, but from the building of something better with those they care about. A Thief, thus turned to heroic purposes, becomes the party's pinch hitter - an adaptable spy, an unpredictable maverick, an element of surprise - and above all, a reliable ally, capable of turning any tide in the party's favor.
ROGUE
"One who steals from [Aspect] or steals [Aspect] for others."
Rogues, on the other hand, call to mind such figures as Robin Hood, stealing from the rich to distribute to the poor. Rogues are at their best when they're agents of a well-planned heist, as they possess an unlimited toolbox - their own Aspect - to play with. Their Aspect is a treasure trove, just waiting for the Rogue to plunder it and share its riches - if only the Rogue can figure out how.
Rogues are forces of revolution. They naturally carry a rebellious spirit, one which bristles at injustice, takes a stand against authority, and questions the status quo. Their ideas are unfocused, however; they know they must rebel, but usually don't start with a clear idea of against who or what. They know that their society is injust, but they don't know how to address that injustice. They know there are villains, and may even know these villains' identity, but they don't know how best to defy them. In a similar way, they're often lost as to how to utilize their Aspect beyond its most basic applications, and usually require external assistance in order to bring out its full potential.
Rogues' true potential lies in "stealing from their Aspect" - an additive act, rather than a subtractive one, as a Thief's stealing is. Rogues are capable of removing their own Aspect's sway over another entity, allowing it to exhibit the characteristics of the opposite Aspect; a Rogue of Void can create things out of nothing, a Rogue of Heart can tease out behaviors and actions. They can also "steal their Aspect for others," allowing them access to their own Aspect's suite of abilities as well. This allows the Rogue incomparable flexibility, their abilities - like their dispositions - rebellious and subversive.
But their rebellious spirit, coupled with their lack of understanding as to who their real enemies are, is dangerous when left unchecked. Rogues often suffer from a failure to start, giving up on trying to understand the deeper implications of their abilities, and of the society they can't seem to find contentment in - but they can also suffer from a worse fate: rebellion without a cause. Rogues' free spirits can lead to them bucking the status quo in ways that actively harm others, performing acts of taboo or poor taste just because that rebellious energy needs to be put to use somewhere. These can have disastrous knock-on consequences, as some things are taboo for good reason.
Thus, Rogues need to be guided - to make connections with others, and come to a greater understanding of the world at large. Once they know their target, and what needs to be done, the Rogue makes sure there are no obstacles along the way - no safe is uncrackable, no prison inescapable, and no problem unsolvable, so long as the Rogue is there to work their magic.
MAGE
"One who guides [Aspect] or guides [Aspect] for themselves."
Mages are prophets, of the "always correct" variety - or so it seems. In actuality, Mages don't "predict" the future, they "choose" it - in a setting where the future is mutable, the Mage's ability is to speak into existence a future they desire, to tip the scales of causality and collapse possibilities into a single definite course. Their Aspect is the lens through which their "prophecy" occurs, a realm in which they command the fabric of reality itself.
As if to karmically balance this incredible power, Mages are afflicted by deep and terrible sadness. They start the game miserable, having been subjected to the greatest injustices their Aspect can offer, tormented by guilt, shame, and self-loathing. Their worldview has been shadowed with a lens of suffering and anguish, and so, too, is their view of the future. Mages usually begin the game having already set several prophecies into motion, and these early prophecies are usually obstacles that the party must overcome.
Mages "guide their Aspect" - this refers to the way their prophecies, that is, their chosen futures, always come true. Their visions may be limited to the sway of their Aspect, but it remains a powerful ability nonetheless. "Guiding their Aspect for themselves," then, outlines the Class's Active nature - the futures the Mage picks must be ones the Mage believes will come to pass.
Unfortunately, Mages have a tendency to pick ugly futures. This isn't out of malice or anger; this is because Mages start the game sad, and without intervention, grow sadder. They're prone to spirals of negativity, self-loathing, and depression, and as their outlook dims, so, too, do their forecasts. Mages suffer, but even suffering can grow familiar - can even appear comfortable or desirable, if the Mage suffers long enough. It's easy for them to grow so accustomed to misery that misery is the only outcome they can see - spelling doom for the rest of the party, one prediction at a time.
But a Mage whose party shows them kindness and forgiveness, compassion and empathy, can pull them out of their misery. How beautiful, then, the future appears! A Mage who believes in a brighter future is a force to be reckoned with. When a Mage can bring themselves to say, "and everyone lived happily ever after," you had better believe they did.
SEER
"One who who is guided by [Aspect] or guides [Aspect] for others."
Seers, meanwhile, are the true future-sighted, able to see the myriad paths the future could take. Like Mages, their Aspect serves as the lens by which their vision is colored; the Seer can sense, with fine accuracy, which paths are closest to the sway of their aspect, and which paths will take them further away. As if gifted with a guide to the game, their intuition is tied directly to the mechanics of SBURB, and they serve as the party's guides, a role indispensable in a game with so many moving parts.
Seers will struggle with blindness, first by hubris and ego, and then by self-harm. Seers begin the game quite full of themselves, proud of their prowess in their Aspect - usually arrogantly so. When this pride is inevitably shattered, Seers have a tendency to deal with their feelings of shame and guilt with willful, self-induced blindness - as if flipping a switch, they become ashamed of the pride they once placed in their Aspect, and seek to place as much distance between it and themselves as possible. There's comfort in ignorance, even if it renders the Seer useless.
Seers are "guided by their Aspect" - able to sense its presence, they gravitate toward it, and towards futures with it in abundance. And, in the same way, they "guide their Aspect for others," lighting the way for others down the path of greatest reward. Seers truly love their Aspect, no matter how much they may misplace their faith in it, and seeking it out is a great joy for them.
This is why a Seer at their worst is so tragic. By inducing intentional blindness within themselves, they are functionally deadening the strongest part of their soul. No matter the temporary relief this brings to the sharp, jagged pain of shame, it invariably deepens the Seer's suffering, as they deny themselves not only their own joy, but their ability to help others - another act which inherently delights them.
Thus, a Seer needs to be made to deal with their shattered ego head-on, to accept their own shortcomings, to become at ease with the idea that they don't have all the answers. Once their vision becomes clear, and their view becomes honest, the party nevermore has to fear becoming lost or straying from the path - the Seer will see to that.
WITCH
"One who changes [Aspect] or changes [Aspect] in others."
Witches are the winds of change, tweaking reality all around them until it suits their desires. A Witch is presence that commands both fear and respect, and their Aspect bows down before them, reduced to a mere minion in the Witch's presence, ready to attend to all their needs. In a way, the Witch's powers are straightforward - they can manipulate their Aspect as they desire, changing its qualities as they see fit. "How they see fit," then, is where the issue lies.
Witches are usually of "outsider" status, never truly being part of the society from which the rest of the party descends. Free from the same rules and common sense that govern the others on their team, Witches instead operate on a value system heavily reliant on their own emotions. What a Witch deems to be correct, to be true, or to be righteous, are often based not in any objective measure, but in subjective, emotional bias - and they're emotional creatures, indeed. Prone to fits of great anger, Witches can be benevolent one second and malicious the next, and their abilities let them imprint, to a greater degree than any other Class, their desires onto the world that comes after them.
Witches "change their Aspect," as in, the crux of their abilities lies in manipulating the qualities of their Aspect in their surroundings - extending, shortening, magnifying, shrinking, growing, removing⊠so on and so forth. It's a fearsome power. They also "change their Aspect for themselves" - their Aspect is hapless but to obey their desires; Witches change the world to suit themselves, and their feelings of how things "should" be often become how things "are" in short order.
Thus, a Witch who has been swayed toward evil entities and nefarious ends is a truly dangerous opponent - and it is unfortunately easy for this to happen. Witches' social isolation means they tend to trust their emotions, and a force that flatters these emotions can easily win a Witch's trust. By the same token, those that fail to flatter the Witch are often considered enemies, even if they're benevolent forces. A Witch's morality can thus become warped and topsy-turvy, which has grave consequences for the world that the Witch then shapes.
Therefore, a Witch's struggle lies in learning to see beyond their own emotions, to take in the opinions and assistance of others even when it seems superficially unpleasant, to move beyond the childlike rejection of that which is uncomfortable. Once able to see a more nuanced form of right and wrong, once able to tell evil from good, Witches can build even utopia.
SYLPH
"One who allows [Aspect] to change others or changes [Aspect] for others."
Sylphs are nurturers and healers; they bring to mind fey folk whose very footsteps cause plants to grow. Wherever they go, whatever they touch, all becomes suffused with the Sylph's Aspect, which flourishes under their careful cultivation. Sylphs adore their Aspect, and their Aspect adores them; Sylphs generally feel at peace with themselves, surrounding themselves with what they like.
A Sylph's main challenge - or rather, the main challenge that Sylphs wind up posing the rest of the party - is that Sylphs are enablers. They're attracted to those with strong wills and extreme dispositions, amused by the havoc they wreak and pleased by their attention. Sylphs love to pick out favorites and lavish them with care and attention, excusing any wrongdoing on their behalf and shielding them from consequences. At the same time, those who don't strike the Sylph's capricious fancy find themselves discarded in the Sylph's mind, shut out from the boons the Sylph can provide.
A Sylph is "one who allows their Aspect to change others" - this almost always manifests as healing, as it's an additive ability (that is to say, the Sylph can grant more of their Aspect to someone). "Changing their Aspect for others," on the other hand, explains this enabling nature of theirs - the Sylph will intervene to make the world into a playground for their favored individuals, even to the point of turning other, less "interesting" teammates into playthings for the Sylph's beloved.
Thus, while the Sylph themself isn't particularly prone to wild mood swings and acts of malice, their influence can still cause disaster by allowing unscrupulous individuals to flourish - even encouraging their worst tendencies. A Sylph's touch is subtle, but that subtlety only lends it an insidious quality, as the Sylph quietly works against the good of the many for the cruel, selfish pleasures of the few. At their very worst, the Sylph can deem themselves their only favorite, and render everyone else a minor character in their one-man show.
Thus, Sylphs must be challenged. They must be made to reckon with the fact that favorable treatment is not necessarily kindness, and that bias can easily become harm. When a Sylph is able to grasp the difference between bias and doing good, and tune their approach toward that greater good, uncolored by bias and personal preference, then there is no place safer, kinder, and more conducive to growth than the Sylph's embrace.
PRINCE
"One who destroys [Aspect] or destroys using [Aspect]."
Princes are the most anxious, psychologically anguished members of a party. They suffer from a toxic overabundance of their Aspect - its traits are taken to an extreme, and not only the Prince, but those around them, are made to suffer for it. Princes are naturally set on a path of self-destruction, the culmination of their uncontrolled accumulation of their Aspect, and their meltdowns are spectacular, taking their Aspect - and whoever is unlucky enough to be in the same room - with them.
A Prince's challenge, therefore, is as simple to understand as it is difficult to overcome. The Prince needs to learn how to calm down, relax, and find inner peace. Princes are terribly prone to circular thinking and downward spirals. Their natural inclination is to feel anxious and responsible, like they carry the weight of the world, and this causes them to act out in extreme and aggressive ways. Eventually, others pull away, put off by the Prince's intensity. This only deepens the Prince's malaise, and Princes are - pushed by this hovering sense of urgency and catastrophe - willing to employ drastic, desperate measures to enforce compliance with their wills. They wake on their moons early, reflective of their driven natures. They're determined to a frightful degree, and no sacrifice is too great, no work too dirty, if it means achieving what they see as the greater good.
Princes "destroy their Aspect" in this way - by presenting their Aspect at its worst, they make others take distance, ruining it for everyone else. Their hard wills, intense emotions, and unshakeable drive to do what (they feel) needs to be done - at any cost - is their source of power. Thus, Princes "destroy using their Aspect" - their toxic overabundance of Aspect lets them channel it into a pure, annihilatory force; what they lack in the delicate utility of the other classes, they make up for in raw, ruinous power. Princes can easily deal the greatest damage in a combat scenario, their ability to destroy overriding nearly everything that would stand against it.
Thus is the problem with Princes. They're ticking time-bombs of anxiety and frustration; when they finally go off, they carve a path of destruction, before ultimately self-destructing, leaving no trace of their Aspect behind. Not only that, but it's very difficult to defuse the bomb early; Princes have finicky, aggressive, and complicated personalities, and tend to react poorly to straightforward attempts to calm them down and reason with them. They often appear to be their own worst enemies, marching inexorably toward their own destruction.
But Princes not only can be saved, but must be saved. They must be saved because kindness and compassion must exist for their own sake, and a Prince rescued from their own worst tendencies is living proof of the truth of that sentiment. A Prince, given the peace they need to reorient their priorities, will not rest until they see a brighter future realized. They will be the first to rise, and the last man standing, banishing - as if by royal decree - all obstacles, all enemies, all misfortune, and all ills.
BARD
"One who invites destruction through [Aspect] or allows [Aspect] to be destroyed."
Bards are the wild cards of a party, responsible for both improbable victories and catastrophic defeats - sometimes both in a single session. The methods by which a Bard works are a mystery to even the Bard themselves, which make it easy for the party to dismiss their powers - and, by extension, the Bard themselves. After all, who would expect there to be consequences for something so ridiculous as a Bard?
Bards are usually targets of abject ridicule by their teams. They can't help it - they're religious types, or at least types that hold great, lofty, ridiculous beliefs near and dear to their hearts. A Bard's primary struggle invariably winds up being a crisis of faith. Bards begin the game with a positive, "correct" faith in their Aspect; however, something will inevitably occur that shakes the Bard's faith in this viewpoint to its core. In this state, Bards are incredibly fragile, and it's very easy for them to succumb to whispers of cruelty and destruction, for their beliefs to warp, and for the Bard to come to serve the worst aspects of the society they represent.
A Bard "invites destruction through their Aspect" - their powers are subtle, but have catastrophic effects. Bards are instinctively drawn towards causing the first flap of a butterfly's wing, which cascades into a grand, impossible karmic backlash. They "allow their Aspect to be destroyed" by being the conduits for the forces of their faith - whatever faith they hold - to wreak unimaginable consequences across the game.
Thus, a Bard must not be allowed to fall into darkness. The cost is too great. They must be treated with kindness, patience, and sincerity, and given a chance to re-establish their faith in a better, brighter future. If this can be done, then at the party's direst moment - in their darkest hour - they will find that kindness paid back a thousandfold, as an innocuous act by the Bard that no one remembers balloons into a miracle.
#homestuck#homestuck analysis#classpect#classpecting#classpects#homestuck classpect#this essay is 10k words long#you may be wondering why i didn't split it up into smaller essays and the answer is pretty simple#so many of these ideas are interconnected and interrelated that it's not actually useful to hear about JUST Hope or JUST Maids or JUST Heir#like even aside from the equal-and-opposite splits#(which is how some of the less thoroughly explored classes and aspects need to be understood)#there's things like how pages actually start in deficit of their aspect personality-wise#jake has few convictions and is wishy-washy - tavros lacks freedom and independence - horuss lacks simplicity and emptiness#this isn't something you would âgetâ if you didnt know about the way aspect is tied to personality#it's fascinating because if you compare characters that share the same class similar things keep jumping out#but yeah again i have textual evidence to support every claim so please feel free to ask#i just couldn't justify doubling or even tripling the length of the essay to include things like#'ever notice how karkat - the BONDS and FRIENDSHIP knight - has a big Leader Who Dont Need No Friendship persona#and how dave - the Details and Minutiae knight - has a disaffected coolkid who doesn't give a shit about anything persona#and how latula - the Justice and Cunning knight - has a loud dumb obnoxious gamegrl nice-to-everyone persona#which she even admits is a persona she uses to hide how smart she is out of the apparent anxiety that people won't like her otherwise#i know people will object to the heir thing because 'mituna was oppressed on beforus' but let me clarify here#heirs are set to inherit comfortable lifestyles and wealth *by the standards of their society*#john is literally the heir of crockercorp and equius is blueblood nobility#but if you really think about it those aren't necessarily happy outcomes either#john would've had to become a stuffy businessman like Dad (and an evil capitalist lol)#and equius is also Still Oppressed and would've had to become a murderer cop#but it's still a position of wealth and comfort *for their society* - mituna would've been culled (like sollux)#but that would've meant being pampered and provided for#which is a great deal by the standards of his society regardless of how good or bad (bad) it actually is in practice
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