#god I love it when characters are given more dimensions and I can go back and dissect their lines using this information

[herbariumua]

For some reason, the current episodes of The Simpsons that focus on Waylon make me sad.

First, when we go from his blind admiration for Mr. Burns to instantly asking "Who should I kill" and kidnapping a man with a gun to his back - to his conscience that Mr. Burns bribed the judge to they were released from prison? You yourself bribed the judge to get Mr. Burns released in past episodes!

Second, I still don't understand why he has a photo of his ex on his wall. They did not part well. That dude was literally WORSE than Mr. Burns + he kicked a puppy that clearly represented Waylon throughout the episode - after which he decided to go his separate ways.

On the one hand, yes, I get it: character development. Perhaps the moment when he realized that he has a certain "type": "evil" billionaires - then he thought about what he was doing with his life in general. Yes, even in the first seasons, Waylon had a clear line beyond which he was not going to cross, "comic evil", like the idea of ​​blocking the sun or beating up Homer for a completely understandable angry letter.

In more modern seasons, he repeatedly tries to "smooth out" Monty's actions, try to direct him, if not to a more "kind" path, then at least to a "neutral" one. Although the funny thing is that even in the original episodes, Burns is just struggling with anger issues, he is not an "evil villain" and is capable of human feelings, good deeds and is really looking for love and acceptance - which makes him a very interesting character. In the later seasons, his character jumps here and there a lot and he is often reduced to the very "cartoon evil", which upsets me a lot.

I kind of like "I'm even worse than them because I know better - but I do it anyway". I like it if they showed how Waylon on the one hand changed (why?) in the process, and he has on the one hand - a blind and strong love for Monty, and on the other - a desire to do good deeds. And so yes, he is also behind his back, even if together with Marge (I still like that they are best friends), they do good deeds.

By the way, this reminds me a little of the Rick and Morty episode where it turns out that Morty is sneaking behind Rick's back in the dimensions where he messed up and fixing everything that can be done because he has empathy and conscience and even though he no longer a naive child, he is still not a cynical nihilist. Of course, Waylon Smithers goes through a completely different story arc here - although I highly doubt that he was actually given an ARC, and not accidentally, given that the people who created the show don't care about any kind of consistency, canonicity, character development in the long term.

Oh my god, hire fans, seriously.

And damn, we've gone from "I'll turn the Earth upside down for you" to "I bribed a judge not for you… and your wife." On the one hand, I still like the joke that Burns regularly forgets not just Homer, but his entire family, no matter how many times they cross paths and work together.

On the other hand, I don't really get the joke, of why he thinks Waylon is straight, even though he did come out, and he's so out of touch with his personal life that he thinks he has a wife. GIVE ME BACK THEIR "I NAMED MY QUEEN BEE AFTER YOU" RELATIONSHIP! Even if you're not going to make them canon, gosh, it sucks to show that they're THAT far apart because WE KILLED THE FUCK FOR THE PREVIOUS 35 YEARS OF BUILDING THEIR RELATIONSHIP. They are CONSTANTLY together, they TALK, we've been shown that Burns really values ​​Waylon as a sidekick and as a person, even if he can take him for granted.

At this point, I only want to read or write fanfics; and to rewrite these episodes in my imagination so that they fit into the canvas of their homoerotic behavior of the "golden age", if not to canonize them in my imagination. And yes, I DEFINITELY want to take this episode as a base and maybe write it "my way" so I don't want to cry so much.

I know I put too much into the relationship between the two drawing men, but I have a lot of bad things going on in my life right now, and these two are helping me a lot through this period.

[sepublic]

The Owl House Pilot Leak!!!

            Oh my titan.

            The Owl House’s original pilot episode (basically a bunch of voiced-over storyboards) just got leaked and OMT. Watching it felt like experiencing the original magic of the show all over again… Reminding me what it was like to fall in love the first time!!! The hype and rush, the excitement to type down my thoughts after a new episode, analyzing and gushing over both big and small moments, the details!!! The pilot has reiterated all over to me again why I love these characters, from Luz's powerful earnestness, to Eda's chaotic demeanor! It’s like having the whole show open ahead of me, the possibilities endless when knowing this is just the beginning and we could go anywhere from here!

            What’s interesting is that Luz’s conflict with Camila doesn’t really exist here; In fact Camila isn’t present or mentioned at all! What brings Luz to the isles is Amity, who’s been learning in the human world, under the guise of being a human by disguising her ears! It’s alluded to that Odalia and Alador made her do it, though we don’t know why…

            But WOW that must’ve been so meta, doing S3 with Amity stuck in the human world with Luz, hiding her ears! It must’ve been a fun way to bring back the older concepts in new form! And indeed, we see a couple of stuff we’ve already gotten glimpses of, such as the storyboards of Luz offering her friendship art to Amity! I love that we get to see the actual scenario of how Amity accidentally defended Luz in the first place, since we heard that but didn’t get to see how it turned out.

            It’s interesting that Lumity is basically the inciting incident of the story, though I can see why the final version opted instead to emphasize Luz’s conflict with her mother. Especially with how she chooses to stay in the isles in the final draft, which leads to guilt over lying to her mom, having her ‘coming out’ moment that eventually occurs in Yesterday’s Lie, etc. So more agency when it comes to Luz losing her access to the human world. Plus in the pilot, there isn't the same emphasis on Luz trying to live out her dreams of being a witch, and her obsession with stories that ties back to Manny and forms the basis for a lot of other themes and arcs.

            That said, I also appreciate what this alternate take offers, and how Lumity helps tie everything together, it really is the queerness that is such a foundational part of the ‘weirdness’ theme that the show is about, and it’s intertwined with the pilot! God Luz being heartbroken when Amity dismisses the drawing… And then crying when Eda compliments it without realizing who it’s about! Or maybe she did, she could’ve recognized Luz there and figured out a way to stealthily make Luz feel better…!

            I love Luz routinely lock-picking her locker because she presumably forgot the combination! And it’s interesting that we have a setup of there being multiple dimensions that the Boiling Isles has access to, and not just the human world and Demon Realm. That plays a role in the climax, more on that later. Given we have what is basically an airport for different dimensions, I wonder if we would’ve seen Luz find her way back home much earlier on, under much less intense circumstances, in a S1A episode?

            The ‘Emperor’ is also alluded to in the pilot, which we didn’t get actual mention of until the fifth episode in the final show. He apparently dislikes humans and wants Luz brought over to him, is this still operating off of the ‘Pupa’ version of the character who claimed to speak on behalf of the true ruler, trapped in their metamorphosis by him? So maybe he wasn’t always human, or maybe this is Belos’ hypocritical way of ‘protecting’ humans by keeping them away and in blissful ignorance of the demon realm.

            We also establish Hexside much earlier! IIRC Hexside was always part of the show, but executives pushed for it to have more emphasis, which the crew continued to follow through on in S2 onwards because that had already been set up. Lilith is the principal, and I recognize the storyboards of her, including her bat transformation! We get a Tinella Nosa cameo, we see Amity, and there’s also a brief cameo of Willow too! Nice way to set her up before her proper debut.

            The ‘barrier’ containing King’s crown turns out to just be a regular human locker, which makes me wonder if the writers updated the final draft to make it a force field that only allows humans through, because of the whole Belos twist. Which makes me wonder if in this draft, Belos is Pupa, who never was human, or maybe they realized the opportunity to insert foreshadowing into a big twist regarding the main villain. Makes me wonder if the house we see Amity enter in the pilot, which is on sale, would've had any significance like in the final show. Love how Tinella Nosa is a student at Hexside, and also Dana having to occasionally insert lines for Wendie Malick and others was great.

            Lilith is a lot more openly adversarial, which is different compared to how her actual debut provides a softer side to her; I imagine this would’ve been apparent in a later episode of the ‘Pilot AU’, and her transformation has me curious; Was she originally the one with the curse, but then the writers changed it to Eda? Or did they both have a curse? Eda also has an owl form she can summon and control at Will, maybe all Clawthornes have a beast mode that’s less of a curse and more of a talent. Lilith ends up trapped in another dimension, which makes me wonder if she’d have a temporary replacement –possibly Pilot Bump- or if she’d return offscreen. We see the portal key get destroyed under much more casual circumstances, though it’s less as big of a deal for this and the established ‘dimension port’ we saw before.

            (Also, Amity recognizing Luz in the hallway… Everything to me!!!)

            Warden Wrath doesn’t exist and neither does the Conformatorium, it’s Lilith and Hexside. With her as principal and Amity as student, I wonder if we would’ve gotten more of their relationship in the pilot AU, if Covention was a way of carrying over that former connection since Amity would be a teacher’s pet in either version of the story. And speaking of ties to Covention, it’s interesting is that Eda’s chest gem seems to be linked to the Emperor’s Coven, as ‘Pilot Kikimora’ uses it to control her. Curiously, we have a scene at the end mirroring what we got with Lilith in the final draft of the show!

            I feel it implies that Eda DID join the Emperor’s Coven with Lilith, if only for a brief moment, but then defected; But the chest gem is basically the pilot version of the Emperor’s sigil, except with the explicit function of being a shock collar. I find it interesting that Eda still has the mirror to contact the EC with, instead of just getting rid of the thing. Is she a rogue agent who hasn’t totally cut ties, because she can’t? Won’t?

And the fact that Pilot Kikimora can just shock Eda at will makes me wonder if the Emperor is low-key just letting Eda roam around, which makes me wonder if he’s aware of the familial connection, is using Eda to find Luz, already knows about her doing that because of the time loop, etc. We’d of course have gotten an episode where Luz finds out about Eda’s connection and helps her deal with the gem… I realize now that Luz learning Eda also wanted to join the EC with Lilith is a carryover of this idea.

I can see the ups and downs between both versions; The final draft sets up Luz’s conflict with Camila and the reality camp, which is foundational to her character arc throughout the whole show. Her pain over being ‘sent away’ is just so vital that I appreciate its inclusion in the first episode. But I also like the inclusion of Lumity and the earnest desire to be friends with someone who showed her, unwittingly, any kindness at all! We get explicit bullying from Luz’s peers in the pilot, but in the final draft we also get her thoughtlessness that plays a big part in her S1 arc. And Luz’s arrival in the isles is more intertwined with Eda and King in the final version, which also feels right; The show is about these three in particular!

All in all, this was wonderful to watch! The magic was experienced all over again, not just in watching an episode, but also commentating on one that was just ‘released’ as well? I thought the last time I’d do anything like this was with the series finale Watching and Dreaming… But as Luz said, it really comes full circle with watching the first episode all over again! So maybe we have other stuff to still look forward to after all… At the very least, we have an eternal anticipation with an unexplored universe ahead of us, that will never reach completion; So it's like our ever-lasting final gift from TOH, and a good last one. So until next time: BBBBBYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

[mikayuumouse]

what do you think about atsushi's development with akutagawa after chapter 122?

Short answer: gay

Long answer: oh my God there's a lot. I will say, the latest chapters have definitely given us more Akutagawa introspection than Atsushi introspection, but Atsushi's character has definitely developed a LOT (well, I would say he's less developed right now and more as, we're finally seeing his development. Like I don't think just then in 121.5 did he decide Akutagawa is worth dying for, he had that realization/development forever ago, but in 121.5 is when lots of his development was confirmed)

This ask is specifically about chapter 122 but ykw I might as well talk about 121.5 and 123 too lmao. I think 121.5 was crazy revolutionary, like not only did it just show how much Atsushi will do to save Akutagawa, but it also shows that Atsushi remembers the exact words that Akutagawa said back to him with their fight against Fukuchi. Like wow fellas is it gay to think about your "dead" rival so much you can repeat his final dying words back to him in the middle of a war against a literal god??

Okay but all jokes aside, 121.5 does really show how much Atsushi thinks about Akutagawa and how heavy his death really was to him. (Also this ask only asks about Atsushi's development with Akutagawa and not the Headmaster so I won't be rambling on about that lol)

Now 122. Oh boy 122. Not only did Atsushi see Akutagawa's past, but this time he didn't see it/hear it from someone else's perspective. He saw the cold truth. He knew of Akutagawa's abuse, but now he knows how it really truly was, with his own eyes. The dark side of Dazai he's never really seen, the vulnerable side of Akutagawa that Akutagawa hates...

This really shifts their relationship. 122 had lots of development for both of them— especially with Akutagawa's introspection on his real feelings— and it's so monumental. This isn't just Atsushi seeing Akutagawa's abuse, it's Atsushi fully understanding Akutagawa and understanding why Akutagawa is the way he is. Atsushi relates to Akutagawa more than ever now, and he sees their similarities and where their paths individually changed them as people

One thing is, I don't think when Akutagawa finds out Atsushi knows about his past, that he'll be mad. He trusts his weak side with Atsushi, he trusts his truth and his secrets and his life with Atsushi. And vice versa.

These last few chapters have greatly furthered their relationship. And what I think about it is honestly; I love it. I love how Asagiri writes them (he better make them kiss like literally the romantic potential is perfect), I love how far they've come, and I love how they are incredibly meant for each other

Another thing is, now that Atsushi has seen Akutagawa's past, and Atsushi's understanding of Akutagawa is even deeper now, I think Atsushi is closer to Akutagawa because of this. Atsushi's seen all sides of Akutagawa's story, and in the end, he still cares for and loves Akutagawa. He still thinks Akutagawa is strong and deserves to live. When Atsushi eventually gets out of the fourth dimension (probably??) and he gets his reunion with Akutagawa, he's going to see Akutagawa in a different, better light

Oh, and in regards to 123, there's not a whole lot to say, but Atsushi says "Why us? Why our hearts?" to his hallucination of his Headmaster instead of "Why me? Why my heart?", because Akutagawa isn't an afterthought to Atsushi. Atsushi's going through all of this, and yet Akutagawa is not far from his mind; he never is. Akutagawa makes Atsushi feel no longer alone and gives him strength, and 123 shows that Atsushi thinks about Akutagawa as much as Akutagawa does about him

Thank you so much for the ask! It was fun to answer, and I hope my thoughts on Atsushi's development with Akutagawa make enough sense LMAO I kind of ramble

[fairytale-poll]

SEMIFINAL ROUND, MATCH 2 OUT OF 2!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Bug:

Their a bug that falls in love with a human they rescue and becomes human, but even when they don't get to keep their human body, they still get to be with their love. It's a sci-fi fairytale musical.

Little Mermaid meets Starship Troopers musical starring awesome puppets and the most trans coded main character ever. Please. Please vote Bug Starship I love him. Go watch Kick it Up a Notch from Starship. Go watch Status Quo from Starship. You will understand.

He's a bug and he lives in space on a bug planet but he really wants to be a starship ranger which you can only be if you are a human and then one day a spaceship lands on his planet and so he goes to an evil bug called Pincer who then helps him become a human. And Bug falls in love with a human on the spaceship and it's very sweet. The musical and storyline are based on the little mermaid story, the creators themselves called it "the little mermaid but in space". Bug wanting to be a human/a starship ranger and achieving that and falling in love with a human is very much like the little mermaid

Starship is a musical that can only be described as The Little Mermaid meets Starship Troopers. It follows Bug, an alien bug who dreams of being a Starship Ranger, a galactic explorer/soldier, but the rigid confines of bug society keeps him trapped in a job he hates. He reaches a Starship Ranger named February from the hive and immediately falls in love with her. In order to be with her and pursue his dream, he makes a deal with a giant scorpion named Pincer who through sci-fi bs gives him a human body. Near the end of the second act he sacrifices his human body and returns to his bug body, and saves the day and wins February's heart. It's truly the ultimate Little Mermaid. He has multiple songs, and his bug body is portrayed by a puppet!! Vote for Bug!!

“It's a big, big, universe So many dimensions And unanswered questions Not to mention Life What an invention Life There's no choice involved in what you are given One mind, one voice, one body to live in It's a short, small thing we lead With so much potential Pointless or essential Which one can I be? Where do I fit? Where do I stand? Who are they to say what I am? And how can I stay inside this awful world I know? I need a way out I need an escape I'd rather be dead than to live in this place I wish that something or someone could just take it all away Someone take me away” dear god….. can anybody hear me…. (song from starship)

They are the purest little mermaid adaptation done in the most unuque way. An alien insect gets turned into a human, a race he has always loved and admired, to be with the woman he fell in love with. Also just a great musical.

Bug's whole arc is so so in tune with that of the little mermaid. He is an alien who has fallen in love with humanity through a crashed spaceship and trades his place in the hive for a chance to be with both with the human he's falling for and to be a Starship Ranger. He body swaps with human in a cryogenic pod! It's literally sci-fi Little Mermaid!

Original Fairytale:

The OG, she suffered so much more than Ariel in the Disney version, and gave up her love for Christianity. When she's turned into a human her feet are in agony with every step, but she dances anyway to enchant the Prince. The Prince marries a princess who found him after the Little Mermaid rescued him. The Little Mermaid is distraught at the prince marrying another, so her sisters give her a dagger from the Sea Witch that will turn her back into a mermaid if she kills him. She refuses to kill him, and then she turns into sea foam and dies, but because she was a good person she becomes a spirit of the air and does good deeds for 300 years until she dies again, gains a soul, and goes to Heaven.

[healerfromhell]

On The Night Nurse

hi dead boy detectives fandom, i’m here to give you the tea on the night nurse because i cannot watch her incredible lore get overlooked any longer. this post was initially a thread on my twitter but i wanted to cross post :3

long post under the cut

DOOM PATROL

we first see this iteration of the night nurse in what ruth described as a “backdoor pilot” in s3e3 of doom patrol. she’s only on screen for 3 minutes but in that time there’s an insane amount of implications in terms of her abilities.

she’s shown to have telekinesis, as well as shifting her appearance into a more “demonic” form, including her mouth seemingly splitting in half. finally, as the doom patrol escapes, she projectile vomits acid onto them which later turns them into living-dead style zombies!

it’s up for debate whether or not this is canon to the dead boys show, HOWEVER, in terms of asa herself we’re not given any reason to believe she isn’t functionally the same, even if this IS an alternate universe.

as such, it is likely that the night nurse possesses these abilities in dbd and we simply haven’t seen them yet. furthermore, she’s already canonically an “eternal, trans-dimensional being”, so while this is a different universe, it could potentially be a single, dimension-hoping night nurse.....

COMIC HISTORY

here’s where we get into the good stuff. it’s pretty much agreed upon that the night nurse is an adaptation of the comic character “nightmare nurse”, also known as asa the healer. she’s a demon of an unknown age and she’s absolutely delicious as a character.

asa first appears in the phantom stranger, but she’s most notably present in justice league dark. during this it’s explicitly stated that john constantine is her ex-boyfriend and that she’s sapphic! let's go through some of the most important connections we get from these comics.

Constantine

we see her make several references to her history with constantine, but she’s also pretty loud about how her priorities are, first and foremost, her job, as you can see here, which i think ties in nicely to her pendanticism in dbd — all she wants to do is her job.

Zatanna

here are a few panels in which she hits on zatanna, then kisses her, then says she’s a much better kisser than constantine. girl kisser asa you’ll always be famous.

by the way, that creature with the red eyes? yeah, that's asa. that's her demon form that she appears in after enduring the blackmare curse with constantine.

Alice Winter

it is revealed that asa used to work as a nursemaid for a sickly woman named alice, but eventually she decided to possess alice instead. this is the body we see her in throughout her comic appearances.

however, it turns out asa is the only thing keeping alice alive. when this becomes evident, alice invites asa back into her body for good.

Other Appearances

asa is also seen a few times in other comic runs, i’m just gonna add some of my favourites here.

Suicide Squad

i love her character design here and i think her ability to remove trauma like a cancerous growth is a nice tease at how she can literally go into charles’ head and watch his trauma in dbd

The Phantom Stranger

this is from issue 8 of the phantom stranger and there’s several reasons i love it. firstly, LOOK AT HER.

second, let’s go queer demon who enjoys threesomes! you’re an icon, asa. third, apollo and panacea. oh, apollo and panacea. we’re about to get tinfoil hat-y for this last bit.

FINAL THOUGHTS

so you might’ve noticed, up until this point asa’s mentioned having sworn an oath, but that panel has her outright stating she was actually FORCED into it by the gods. we also get a hint at this in jld, though they don’t explicitly name apollo and panacea.

“asa” quite literally means “healer”. her given name; every time somebody addresses her, they are calling for a healer. that cannot be coincidental. it makes me wonder if she even HAD a name before this oath was forced upon her, or if she was just… a creature. a monster.

perhaps the gods saw fit to name her asa as a means of throwing salt in the wound. not only have they branded her, even her name is a reminder of her new purpose. it gives a lot of weight to the numerous occasions on which she says that she is, no matter what, a healer.

because regardless of where she is, what skin she wears, no matter what… she has that oath, and her name is healer. there’s no escaping that for her. it’s the fundamental core of who she is.

and as a final, final thought i would like to draw attention to this casting because hooooooly shit. perfect.

anyway if anyone cares to see any more of my never-ending thoughts about asa you can find all my head canons on the carrd i have for my rp portrayal or my ao3 where i will no doubt be posting writings about her :3

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I'm not sure if you've already said this but I'm asking anyway. Since you're the local Flashfam expert and also a PJO lover (you have no idea how happy I am that we like the same things), what godly parents would the Flashfam have? Like, all of the fam. Counting characters like Linda and Iris

And it'd also be cool if you assigned a cabin for the Titans and/or the Young Justice too-

I mean it has to be Hermes. It literally has to be Hermes for the speedsters. Like, maybe we throw in a Roman twist and say Mercury every once in a while, but that's just gotta be the answer.

Jay literally wears Hermes' helmet. Max named himself after Mercury. Barry wears Hermes' winged shoes and has wings on his head. Same with Wally. Jay is also literally given Hermes'/Mercury's powers on Earth-2.

And it makes sense, it really does. God of travellers? Check. The winged aesthetic? Check. God of messengers? Check! God of tricksters, liars and thieves? Look, the speedsters are all of the above just in a VERY chaotic good way. They don't rob people but also when Wally found out that the museum had the bones of a fallen soldier from another country without said countries permission or consent? HE STOLE THEM BACK. Bart has absolutely no qualms taking things, Max has been a thief in the past, Jay and Barry work by pirate rules aka 'if I defeat you, I get your stuff', ect. They don't do armed robbery and they don't like stealing from random citizens, but bad guys are free game.

Iris I have to go on the nose and say Iris because Iris is the goddess of messengers and rainbows, and Iris is literally a reporter? So her whole thing is spreading information? While looking stunning.

Linda is an Athena kid 125%. Linda writes books, she was a kickass investigative reporter, she went to med school, she knows more about speedster biology and how it works than literally anyone else in her home dimension, she regularly fights aliens with no powers and just whatever weapons she finds laying around. Linda is intelligent, she's cunning and witty and she will cut a bitch.

Joan is a Hestia kid. Just... family, love, warmth. Need I say more?

As for the Titans... well, Donna is already taken care of. Garth... is technically also taken care of I think?? Atlanteans exist in Greek mythology so Garth is just the same I think. Roy... fuck it, Ares. I said what I said come at me bro. For Dick I would want to go with a minor god or goddess, I like the idea of him being a child of Psyche (Goddess of the human soul) because he is very human and he understands people on a level that might be considered supernatural. Lilith would be the oracle. Karen would be a child of Hephaestus and Mal would 100% just be a guy who can see through the mist and has a shield.

Gar is the last son of Pan because that's cool AF. Raven would be the daughter of Tartarus I think. Vic would be a son of Apollo. I know it's really easy to go for Hephaestus for Vic but honestly, the key part of Vic's story to me isn't that he's a cyborg, it's that he's human. He's a survivor, who, against all odds, received bat shit crazy medical treatment from his father and survived a fatal accident. I like the idea that Apollo saw a guy doing crazy stuff to advance medical science and was like 'Hey there 😉😉😉😉'. Also pre accident Vic was a football player which has a lot to do with aim, so idk, I just like it. Starfire would be a demigod child of the sun deity on her home planet.

For Young Justice, Cassie and Bart are already covered. Kon would be a legacy of Nemesis (Lex) and a legacy of a deity from Krypton. Cissie would be a daughter of Ares and a legacy of Apollo. Greta would be a child of Morpheus. Tim would be the son of Lachesis. Slobo is Slobo. Anita.... Tbh I want to say she's a legacy of Aphrodite? Love is a huge part of her backstory and I dislike giving the non powered characters godly parentage that explains away their abilities. They worked hard for those skills!

[cosmicroseflower]

We help benefit everyone we are worried about by changing ourselves first because we are one, we are everything, we are the entire Universe and we affect the entire multiverse by changing ourselves.

The good news is this 2025, the apocalypse is not coming. (Ah shoot for my pessimists) But all your dreams are. You can relax. Breathe. You get to choose whatever timeline feels the best for you. There is not one future, there is not just one Earth, and there is not just one human collective. You shift by changing your vibration. You shift to another planet when you change yourself. The end of the world and doom and gloom predictions will not play out for you. You are too far on the ascending timelines to ever have to worry about being on those dark worlds where they have forgotten their humanity. Here are the keys to the kingdom 🗝️:

Because even if you're not ready, you will be soon and you will ascend to the fifth dimension and beyond. That is a guarantee. Here is the curriculum you've given yourself. You must face this challenge to be love in the face of evil, the wicked ones, the evil-doers, the bad guys, the ones who trigger you in real life and behind a screen playing their roles in the dark. Because what are they doing? They are there to trigger you.

Once you say, "Oh, thank you demon, thank you fear, thank you traumas, thank you darkness, thank you "sickness", thank you person pretending to be something they are not which is Source which is love. Thank you for triggering what needed to be triggered within me to heal this trigger. Thank you for releasing all this darkness out of me to be released for good. Thank you for reminding me to come back to Source /God. Thank you for reminding me to be forgiving of others who do evil, our oppressors who do unjust things, and to forgive myself for reacting negatively out of character before and giving myself these opportunities to grow."

Now, what I just said may have triggered you. You may be thinking, "Be love to my abusers? Be love to the darkness? HOW? Are you crazy? After what they did? Don't you know what they did to me? To those innocent children and people all over the world hurting people? HOW?" Believe me, I know. It's ridiculous how many people betrayed me. It's ridiculous how abused I was. The state of these evil people is so insane. It's ridiculous how much we saw innocents go through. I know. But, the pain serves a higher divine purpose. What did this pain teach you? It taught you a lot. This is a game. Remember it's a simulation. If you want to move to the next level of the game you must do this: Our oppressors give us the opportunity to be love everyday they do something to oppress us.

We are creating our realities, this is your Earth, your kingdom, you are everything, we are one. That person spewing hate, racism, bigotry, misogyny and anything else that separates us and causes more division, that person or group will not go away just because you pointed out their ignorance and flaws. Instead of focusing on teaching them a lesson, you actually create more of them in your reality. And they become more popular. It doesn't make them go away. It creates more of them. The more we fight, the more your reality responds to that vibration and your oppressors will rise up to be fought. Put your swords down. You don't need them anymore at this level. They used to serve you to protect yourself but now you're ascending to the 5th dimension. There's no war in the fifth dimensional level of consciousness.

The more you love, forgive, and have compassion for them, the more of them will change. The more we judge them and call them negative the more they stay the same. When you accept them completely as they are and you offer forgiveness and compassion to them, that is the only way they will ever change. They will change to reflect the change in you when you lay down your sword and you offer yourself up as a being of unconditional love. And you may be saying "okay, I can do that but what happens to the innocent children and people then if we don't defend and fight for them?" Remember this always. You are always helping yourself whenever you offer love to someone else, someone who is in great need of that love. When you change yourself, you change everything, EVERYTHING, you shift to another parallel Earth version including the number of people being oppressed in your reality. YOU must change, reprogram yourself, forgive yourself first, then you can forgive others if you want to free those innocents who are enslaved, you must change your inner world to see it reflected outwardly.

Why? Because it will give you the opportunity to evolve and not stay stuck in a reality you don't prefer. But you must accept everything and everything in your reality as it is now, and don't judge it negatively, just be neutral to it from there you can create positive change within yourself. Some of you want to impact and help as many people as possible in your lifetime, then all you have to do is be love, that's how you do it because you already are unconditional love you just have to remember that you are Source. The only way to get to a place of self-forgiveness and self-love is by being honest with yourself. So start there and work your way up to having compassion, forgiveness and love for yourself and for others. You are affecting the totality of the entire human collective by forgiving everyone.

That is how you level up, ascend to where you are going, that is how you demonstrate your superpower of forgiveness to the higher dimensions and earn the respect from the entire Universe and change the entire world by changing yourself first. The next step of your Ascension will be so much easier and you will feel so much more peace, ease, love and joy. Do it by being the love you want to see first. Your life will never be the same again. Level yourself up and you will be living in the fifth dimension before you know it.

[bestworstcase]

Great, now a couple more questions about the life-death-rebirth cycle come to mind. Namely, isn’t it some level of unfair to punish characters who “break the rules” by resurrecting the dead when they don’t know that’s a rule in the first place?

Take Pietro. He had no idea about Remnant’s past nor any way to learn about it (the only conceivable courses are the relic spirits, which are off limits without a Maiden, and Lewis, who is dead and likely never told anyone beyond what he wrote), so why should he and Penny suffer for it?

Heck, you could make a similar argument for Salem and even the GoD, but really, I’d like to hear what this says about the GoL. He created and strictly enforced the entire false paradigm of death being eternal. Sooo… what about him?

(Sorry if I’m asking too many questions, you just have so many amazing insights.)

in the case of pietro and penny, it’s less about punishing wrongdoing than it is just a natural consequence of the way penny is treated (not just by pietro but by the whole system of the atlesian military) – why does she suffer? because her father built her as a living weapon owned by his very powerful employers and brought her back, after beacon, into a situation where she had zero autonomy. it’s implied that penny literally does not have down time – she’s either working or in standby mode, no time for friends. and when she breaks away from ironwood, he gets so obsessed with forcing her back under his control that he winds up treating salem assaulting his city as a secondary concern.

this has nothing whatsoever to do with some sort of cosmic punishment for “breaking rules” – there aren’t any rules at all, besides the arbitrary ones the brothers tried to impose and light is (notionally) still trying to enforce. the point is that abrogating someone’s personhood, taking away their autonomy in this manner, is wrong because it inflicts grievous harm on that person. and in a setting where death isn’t an ending but rather a moment of transition between the old life and the new, where nothing can happen to you except what you want to happen, it’s wrong to take that choice away from someone by bringing them back.

that’s not to say it would necessarily turn out badly every time – for example, in a world where the brothers decided to relax, salem and ozma would’ve been fine, probably; millions of years later when ozma’s given the chance to return to her, he eagerly takes it. but there’s always, inescapably, that dimension of wrongness. of not letting go. of not letting the person you love choose. (& this is why salem did the right thing in not ever trying to bring ozma back herself after the gods fucked off.)

the narrative explores this with penny through the extreme control she’s subjected to in life. she isn’t allowed to leave. she isn’t allowed to make her own choices. she isn’t even allowed to die, because the atlas military considers her its property, and her father loves her very much and is also cheerfully complicit in this system right until the moment his daughter gets branded a traitor.

pietro knowing or not knowing about the distant past or the arbitrary rules set by the gods doesn’t matter. what is salient is that he knows what he’s bringing his daughter back into – the military machine of atlas in which she is, against her will, a mere cog. and he’s fine with that.

(i do think it’s sort of interesting how blasé he is about penny being the protector of mantle early in v7, before public opinion turns against her; this is a dimension of his overprotectiveness that often gets overlooked, but pietro is completely fine with penny being atlas’s robotic supersoldier. similar to his blithe lack of concern about mantle’s network security, pietro has several massive blindspots because he has very much drunk the atlesian exceptionalism koolaid)

and eventually that view of penny – doesn’t matter if she dies, we’ll just bring her back; doesn’t matter if she’s unhappy, she’ll do what we built her to do with a smile on her face; doesn’t matter what she thinks or feels or wants, she’s under control – was going to come due. inevitably. in the same way that rhodes training cinder to fight and then putting a weapon in her hand had obvious, completely predictable consequences.

what happened with salem is a whole different kettle of fish because she is being punished – tortured, really – for not even breaking but just questioning an arbitrary rule that had no basis in reality. and of course that’s unfair; that injustice is the beating heart of the story because salem was and is right to loathe the brothers as tyrannical monsters. all she did was pray to both of them for something light didn’t want her to have.

and then light’s issue fundamentally is that he doesn’t understand destruction, and therefore disdains and fears it, so change terrified him and he’s obsessed with control. very much in the same mold as ironwood; by the time it gets to the point of light setting up the divine ultimatum it’s less about the original sin than his fixation on salem as The Aberration Who Must Be Corrected (By Punishing Her Until She Submits).

[teecupangel]

desmond would definitely be the type to accidentally woo the og fm/otome protagonist AND the harem + bg characters. with the ikemen sengoku, it would be funny if desmond’s route is only unlocked after the mc finishes the entire game and gets all the ending cue the twist of video game protagonist! desmond getting isekaied. His bad route is probably going to be desmond sacrificing himself again :/ …. normal route is desmond just booking it and never finding the truth of who he actually was, rip pov outsider.

Let’s add @artduringclasstime’s reply to the previous post

Those four or so years where I played the Ikemen series religiously just came out of the woodwork to smack me in the face. Sasuke renamed himself after a fictional ninja the moment he went back in time, the STARS he'll have in his eyes upon meeting Desmond. ... and I can definitely see Kenshin going after Desmond. Whether it's for a fight or otherwise, even he doesn't know

Desmond had no plans to do such a thing in the first place. He has no idea why the hell any of these was happening to him.

He doesn’t understand that, because he’s an unknown character, whatever system is in place in the world sees him as a ‘player character’ which means… people have easier time to fall in love with him because of his personality.

I like to imagine that Desmond was given a buff in their affection rating like in the normal mode of “Villains are Destined to Die” where the ‘player character’ gets a 30% affinity already to the possible love interests like a “we’re sorry you’re stuck in our world” kind of apology buff from the ‘gods’ of this world.

Of course, that additional affinity is just there to make sure Desmond doesn’t get on the bad sides of the powerful men from the get go and can still go down or up, depending on Desmond’s action.

Sasuke would be the one to talk about Multiverses and such and how Desmond’s existence could mean that they themselves are a work of fiction in a different world.

Desmond is like “yeah, I get what you’re talking about but that’s not really helpful to our current situation?” which would embarrass Sasuke because he got too fired up about it.

So in this one, they sorta know Desmond’s true identity because Sasuke played Assassin’s Creed (for the history) so Sasuke gives them the idea that maybe a POE is also somewhere here since Desmond’s here.

It’s a long shot but it’s a possibility that they can’t just dismiss.

And that is the start of Desmond’s route. Depending on the player’s actions, the player character would later switch to Desmond for the secret BL route! (Which has a harem ending because why not?)

(Kenshin’s route is more on the side of enemies-to-lovers route with Desmond actually getting a headache over how ‘devoted’ to fighting Kenshin is).

His bad ending is them finding the POE and learning that it can be used to bring them back to their proper time and dimension BUT they will come back to it at the exact time they left so Desmond will return to his world only to die from the device ‘again’. He still goes through with it though because he wants to get Mai and Sasuke back to their time and he believes he’s been living in borrowed time. The normal ending, I believe, is Desmond not using the POE and finally leaving everyone with the idea that, if he’s stuck in this world, he’ll build a Brotherhood somewhere he’s more familiar with: Italy. In other words, the normal ending has Desmond alive but alone in a whole other country with no idea what happens to him afterwards.

The part where Desmond books it and no one finds out who he truly is would work as the ‘failed’ event of unlocking Desmond’s route.

To even unlock Desmond’s route, there would be two conditions:

(1) Finished all the endings for each route.

(2) Start a new game and go to a specific event that lets Mai walk in town (this will show up as a new ‘option’ during one of the early parts of the game)

(3) Choose the “Don’t scream” when Mai wakes up one night with a shadow looming above her after the previous event on condition (2).

If all conditions are done, Desmond is unlocked as a possible route but to get to the Desmond’s route, the choices to develop his affection must be chosen.

The condition to change to Desmond as the main character and enter the BL route is to actually develop his affection up to 30% only but keep all affections to other characters at 29% or below before Sasuke appears and tells Mai and Desmond that Desmond is a character from the franchise Assassin’s Creed.

[cosmichighpriestess]

As I feel my emotions and move through them to become more aware of the pain in my physical vessel I in turn help heal my world and I am able to give more by giving myself the self forgiveness and self love that I needed. We help benefit everyone we are worried about by changing ourselves first because we are one, we are everything, we are the entire Universe and we affect the entire multiverse by changing ourselves. We could all use some good news right now don't you feel that way?

Don't you feel like something is coming? Well I have good news. The apocalypse is not coming. But all your dreams are. You can relax. Breathe. You get to choose whatever timeline feels the best for you. There is not one future, there is not just one Earth, and there is not just one human collective. You shift by changing your vibration. You shift to another planet when you change yourself. The end of the world and doom and gloom predictions will not play out for you. You are too far on the ascending timelines to ever have to worry about being on those dark worlds where they have forgotten their humanity. We want to give you the keys to the kingdom. 🗝️

Because even if you're not ready, you will be soon and you will ascend to the fifth dimension and beyond. That is a guarantee. Here is the curriculum you've given yourself. You must face this challenge to be love in the face of evil, the wicked ones, the evil-doers, the bad guys, the ones who trigger you in real life and behind a screen playing their roles in the dark. Because what are they doing? They are there to trigger you. Once you say, " oh thank you demon, thank you fear, thank you trauma, thank you person pretending to be something they are not which is Source which is love. Thank you for triggering what needed to be triggered within me to heal this trigger. Thank you for reminding me to come back to Source /God. Thank you for reminding me to be forgiving of others who do evil, our oppressors who do unjust things, and to forgive myself for reacting negatively out of character before and giving myself these opportunities to grow."

Now, what I just said may have triggered you. You may be thinking, "Be love to my abusers? Be love to the darkness? HOW? Are you crazy? After what they did? Don't you know what they did to me? To those innocent children and people all over the world hurting people? HOW?" Believe me, I know. It's ridiculous how many people betrayed me. It's ridiculous how abused I was. The state of these evil people is so insane. It's ridiculous how much we saw innocents go through. I know. But, the pain serves a higher divine purpose. What did this pain teach you? It taught you a lot. This is a game. Remember it's a simulation. If you want to move to the next level of the game you must do this: Our oppressors give us the opportunity to be love everyday they do something to oppress us.

We are creating our realities, this is your Earth, your kingdom, you are everything, we are one. That person spewing hate, racism, bigotry, misogyny and anything else that separates us and causes more division, that person or group will not go away just because you pointed out their ignorance and flaws. Instead of focusing on teaching them a lesson, you actually create more of them in your reality. And they become more popular. It doesn't make them go away. It creates more of them. The more we fight, the more your reality responds to that vibration and your oppressors will rise up to be fought. Put your swords down. You don't need them anymore at this level. They used to serve you to protect yourself but now you're ascending to the 5th dimension. There's no war in the fifth dimensional level of consciousness.

The more you love, forgive, and have compassion for them, the more of them will change. The more we judge them and call them negative the more they stay the same. When you accept them completely as they are and you offer forgiveness and compassion to them, that is the only way they will ever change. They will change to reflect the change in you when you lay down your sword and you offer yourself up as a being of unconditional love. And you may be saying "okay, I can do that but what happens to the innocent children and people then if we don't defend and fight for them?" Remember this always. You are always helping yourself whenever you offer love to someone else, someone who is in great need of that love. When you change yourself, you change everything, EVERYTHING, you shift to another parallel Earth version including the number of people being oppressed in your reality. YOU must change, reprogram yourself, forgive yourself first, then you can forgive others if you want to free those innocents who are enslaved, you must change your inner world to see it reflected outwardly.

Why? Because it will give you the opportunity to evolve and not stay stuck in a reality you don't prefer. But you must accept everything and everything in your reality as it is now, and don't judge it negatively, just be neutral to it from there you can create positive change within yourself. Some of you want to impact and help as many people as possible in your lifetime, then all you have to do is be love, that's how you do it because you already are unconditional love you just have to remember that you are Source. The only way to get to a place of self-forgiveness and self-love is by being honest with yourself. So start there and work your way up to having compassion, forgiveness and love for yourself and for others. You are affecting the totality of the entire human collective by forgiving everyone.

That is how you level up, that is how you demonstrate your superpower of forgiveness to the higher dimensions and earn the respect from the entire Universe and change the entire world by changing yourself first. The next step of your Ascension will be so much easier and you will feel so much more peace, ease, love and joy. Do it by being the love you want to see first. Level yourself up and you will be living in the fifth dimension before you know it.

[superscourge]

Headcanon day, eh? Alright!

-pulls out headcanon list for disorder AU-

here we go!

I feel like Nazo wouldn’t be just a god of order. While that’s his main role, he has a role of a god of contracts, or anything related to law and order, as they all kind of relate to one another!

Basing off my fanart, Amy eventually meets Nazo and is able to slightly persuade him into taking some time to learn about the world. Take some time to learn about how chaos works in both good and bad ways, and maybe find a way to bring balance! This in turn lets him meet a wide range of characters that teach him the good and the bad of chaos. This can lead to a few alternate scenarios!

If Nazo does end up getting beat, the stones of order would end up falling towards the earth’s surface. One would end up in eggman’s grasp, and one would be entrusted to Amy. After all, she helped him see the good in this world, the least that could be done is that Amy is given something in return for her kindness towards him. It probably takes the last bit of Nazo’s life force to give it to her, but Amy would be touched by the action and keep it safe from Dr. Eggman’s grasp, or at least until Nazo returns.

On a similar note, if Nazo wins, he’d probably take Amy, place her in his world, and would probably keep her safe from any other outside threats. Same notion as before, she was so kind to him, why let that kindness be snuffed out with the rest of the dimension?

Unlike the Nazo in Nazo unleashed, this one is more charming and less aggressive. Now, if push comes to shove, he’ll absolutely kick ass. If not? He’ll use his intellect, charm, and wits to get what he wants. This has led to some very tense encounters on his end, but it’s worth it to him.

Scourge would get very insecure about him being back in his “normal” state. So much so he tries dying his quills green again, but with no luck. As mobian quills don’t dye as easily as human hair.

Sonic ends up getting kicked halfway across the world by Nazo when they first fight, leading to sonic having a bad bruise scar on his waist area.

Shadow’s inhibitor rings got cracked while in his chaos form, so now every time he uses his chaos powers, the ring cracks glow green every time he uses them!

The only reason Silver’s dimension was considered to be in danger was because there were multiple stones of order on there, as a gift from travelers long ago, and nazo will fight tooth and nail to get them. So he ends up taking them to mobius, where he has a better chance at getting assistance.

Silver’s telekinesis becomes a sea foam green color after the big fight, which scares him at first, but the blaze in his dimension finds it cute!

I have way more, but I don’t want us to be here all night-

SO MANY HEADCANONS FOR THE AU OMG... <333 i love all of these

honestly i didnt plan for nazo to have any sort of "redemption arc" or even "taming arc" as i'd like to call it lol, but..........knowing MY ass? that just may happen. ngl. im the redemption arc guy thats my thing now i guess

amy is legit such a good character to use for villain redemption arcs ive found.. it just makes sense yknow? so i think i agree w u there

these headcanons may become canon we shall see /j

[celestial-blight]

Just finished season 3 episode 9 of the Orville, and can I just say, thank fucking god that Charly died.

I feel like she was a terrible addition to the show. Her only contribution was xenophobic one liners, stealing screentime from the rest of the cast, and dying so she can't return in another season.

She's not really a character honestly... She's just this entity that everyone on the bridge crew has to tolerate so she can remind everyone that the Kaylon are bad.

She was an ENSIGN who CONSTANTLY talked out of line, CONSTANTLY mocked and insulted a SUICIDAL MEMBER OF THE CREW, and NOBODY called her out on it!!

I don't hate complicated characters, I would have loved someone who was traumatized by the Kaylon attack, but this show treated her like the second in command of the whole fucking ship! She took over command one episode, has archeological expertise, she's the only person in the universe capable of seeing in the chess dimension, she was one of the first Union members on Krill, and she made the MURDER KAYLON bomb! Why was she an ensign!? She was in front of KAYLON PRIMARY and making SNIDE REMARKS while the Union was trying to make peace with them! That is unacceptable for an ENSIGN to be doing! She should have either been a captain to justify her outbursts, given less responsibility, or just... transferred off the ONE SHIP with a Kaylon on it!

Like... I really don't think I can overstate that Isaac is SUICIDAL and Charly kept HARASSING him with zero repercussions! And maybe I don't remember the episode that well, but did Isaac personally do anything that bad?

Her character resolution is her deciding in the last 10 minutes of the episode to stop being a fucking bigot advocating for GENOCIDE and sacrifice herself so she gets to join her dead girlfriend.

I'm not going to pretend there aren't weird takes about her on the internet (because, you know, scifi nerds have a history of hating women...), but her character was genuinely awful.

(Enterprise spoilers ahead!!!) Star Trek Enterprise is the best series in Trek canon. When the Xindi took out millions of people during their attack on Florida, the entire Enterprise crew was out for blood. Over the course of the season, the Enterprise crew learned more and more about the Xindi, about their motivations, their ideologies, their history, who they are as a people... And towards the end, the Xindi join with the Enterprise crew to tackle a bigger threat. Even Tripp, the guy who had his sister murdered at the hands of the Xindi, lost his rage and gained an understanding of them. It wasn't easy, this wasn't a quick transition, the Enterprise crew and the Xindi themselves had to work towards mutual understanding... Peace takes work, but it's worth it, and even your enemies will become your friends in time. You know, the point of Star Trek, and kinda what the Orville was going for with the Kaylon plotline...

Charly spends 9 episodes refusing to grow or change, then dies. The end. Maybe if the show actually took the time to have gradual growth for the character I wouldn't be complaining, but they didn't, and that sucks! She had ONE moment in a previous episode of coming to understand the Kaylon, then went right back to harassing her suicidal crewmate.

I'm not criticizing anyone for liking her, obviously. Your opinions are your own! This was a pretty darn good season! It has some of the highest highs of the show... but, y'know, some of the lowest lows... Looking at YOU, Isaac becomes neurotypical episode... I know some people hearing me criticize a woman character might immediately go on the defensive, but I promise you, I'm not mad that she's a woman, I'm mad they gave her a poor character! I want women in media to be well written!

ALSO PEOPLE COMPARE HER TO WESLEY CRUSHER!? Wesley, was a child??? Charly is an ADULT???

[clonerightsagenda]

HDM Season 3 continued!

Episode 3:

Pan sleeping against Will's leg. I saw that.

Asriel and Mrs. Coulter are a couple that truly matches each other's freak (child murder) (derogatory). He was really like hey babe now that we're back together let's torture a prisoner of war.

"You look different." "So do you." Yeah you both grew several inches and she has a chest now. Puberty comes at you fast when you have to wait a while between shooting seasons.

More show-original squabbles to drag decision making out longer for some reason

The show is emphasizing Asriel sucking a lot more. Which I appreciate because he does kind of suck. Mrs. Coulter on the other hand is practically a tritagonist (evil/complicated)

They've switched Serafina saving an arrow to kill Mrs. Coulter to Ruta being hostile toward her. I don't love how I feel like they're skating on the edge of the angry Black woman trope with her.

"It's not about your beliefs. They believe, and they will act on it." Folding this into my conviction that Lyra is only the prophecy child capable of moving a multiverse of Dust because everyone is obsessed with her.

The forging scene was kind of half assed compared to the book. Where is the masterful forge Iorek built out of scraps because he's such a great blacksmith? You could not get the metal hot enough on an open air campfire like that.

Lyra: An angel? I'm gonna poke it.

TV!Balthamos is a lot chiller.

"Perhaps I never needed a knife in the first place." You're on the right track. But you also don't need high tech angel torture devices. You just need a big hole.

Shame they didn't do the bit re: the land of the dead where they cut into a world, then cut again, and end up in a reflection of that world with a former corpse now a ghost. I thought that was cool.

Episode 4:

God, you die and go to the afterlife and the prison guard for the dead is still a British guy. This is like Tell No Tales' load bearing British guy of death.

Everyone's reaction when Mrs. Coulter re-enters the plot is some variation of "are you fucking kidding me"

Mrs. Coulter continues to somehow seduce her way through the Magisterium. Is Mrs. Coulter a masterfully or misogynistically written female character for femme fatale-ing her way through various male authority figures and then losing her shit over her child: famous forum thread closed after 8000 pages of debate.

It's only now occurring to me that Asriel built a craft that can only be piloted by people from his world. It wasn't as important in the books, but in here where the craft can cut through dimensions, it looks more like keeping certain abilities tightly under wraps.

We're finally getting to Mary's lifechanging safari. About time.

It's also now occurring to me that it might've been nice for them to cut the living people stuck in the afterlife waiting room out. Most of them got there accidentally.

No Tialys/Salmakia with the kids in Death. Guess they wanted to focus on Will and Lyra, but it's a shame that we don't get Lyra pissing off Tialys on purpose to summon her death vs just wanting it real hard.

I can't remember how the ghosts knew that Lyra was about to get exploded. Maybe the show will elaborate on that.

Where are their fucking rollerskates

Will spent months searching for Lyra?? I guess they added that in to explain how much the kids grew but a) lots of devotion for someone he knew for like a week and b) Lyra should be in way worse shape if she was in a medical coma for months.

It says a lot that Will pulls a knife on the ferryman for Pan's sake given how much he hates having to be the 'violent' one.

They trimmed the ferryman's speech. I get it because it's quite long but still, bummer.

They didn't have Will screaming in agony! That seems unfair given the emphasis on how he's losing the same thing as Lyra. Maybe they decided it was not manly. Also it would be almost impossible to adapt into television but shoutout to the passage where it describes his experience as if he told someone to kill his mother instead of him because he doesn't love her.

[number-one-shadisper-shipper]

The Sonic franchise did not have to go so hard exploring dynamics and types of alternate/evil versions of characters BUT THEY DID

Like some media will give you an evil version of a character and be like, "Yeah he's from a mirror dimension so he's evil *le gasp*" and that's fun and all, but there's no depth or intrigue.

And then we have Sonic.

The Sonic franchise has alternate versions of Sonic, Shadow, and other characters. We have freaking SONIC PRIME who's whole premise is exploring alternate versions of characters (beyond just Sonic) and it is absolutely AMAZING. I'm not going to go into Prime right now cuz that's another post or twenty, and I just wanna focus on how each alternate version of Sonic has their own dynamic, personality, and relationship with Sonic. I've never seen another franchise that does THIS MUCH with alternate versions.

(Long ramble and some spoilers under the cut)

To start with, we have the big one, Metal Sonic. Made by Eggman to be able to defeat Sonic. They could've just gone with a basic, "Oh look a robot version of the Main Character now they fight" and not given him any depth, but he hits HARD (without even having a voice box or mouth to show emotions or anything). The fact that he's programed TO SEE HIMSELF AS THE REAL SONIC and has to deal with that, him slowly discovering that he's not, but not being able to break free from his programming so he can create his own destiny, his father/son dynamic with Eggman but also being nothing more than a weapon to him is just MMMMMM YEESSSSSS. And the whole "Strange, isn't it?" and "There is only one Sonic" thing from the OVA is INSANE!!!!

And there's Mecha Sonic, whose backstory I don't really know a lot about, but his arc in the Scrapnik Island miniseries is EPIC and he's showing the potential arc that Metal Sonic could have. After getting thrown away by Eggman, he finally has the chance to start over and has an epic moment that parallels the OVA lava scene.

And then there's Shadow. He's not actually an "alternate" Sonic, he came first and has no actual connection to him. But the fact that when he shows up the first thing Sonic does is call him a faker, and his identity issues won't let him let that go. Because he has to prove he's not a fake, but is he? His memories are real, aren't they? But he remembers "dying" and he sees his own robot versions and a god of darkness taking his form and Infinite creating a fake army of hims, and he can't be a fake himself, right? He has to be the real Shadow. Cuz that name, that identity is all he has. But what is that identity? Ultimately, he is all of him. But even with all of that he still wrestles with who he is and he has to keep calling Sonic "faker" because no matter what the world still sees him as "the edgy version of Sonic," but he's not, he's so much more than that. He has his own arcs and growth and potential.

And there's Scourge, who's the typical "evil Sonic from another dimension", who I know absolutely nothing about since I haven't really read the Archie comics yet, but I saw this panel:

And like I don't care if he has zero other depth besides that because that IS INSANE. Sonic having to wrestle with his own potential for evil, but at the same time, Scourge's potential for good, and and it's literally just the matter of a few choices. This is the battle we all have to face within ourselves every day, even if we don't realize it.

And speaking of Sonic's potential for evil, DARK SONIC??? THE OPPOSITE OF SUPER SONIC? WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU LET THE CHAOS ENERGY FEED ON YOUR DARKNESS RATHER THAN YOUR LIGHT??? and I know it's only one scene but oh my goodness!!! Cuz yes, your best traits can become your greatest weakness, and loving your friends can turn into doing unspeakable horrors if someone hurts them, and maybe the person that has to bring you back to yourself is your arch-enemy, because they of all people know who you really are and that if you fighting from righteous motives is undefeatable, you fighting from RAGE is noting short of terrifying.

And Surge from IDW, whose arc is literally called IMPOSTER SYNDROME??? Again, created to be the Anti-Sonic, to be the one who can finally take him down. And she knows she's not the real Sonic and doesn't want to be, and she knows the only reason she hates Sonic is because her abuser gaslit and hypnotized her into hating him, but she can't escape that programming any more than Metal can. And maybe she doesn't have a reason to hate Sonic but she'll create one because she literally has to have a reason, and maybe she's not the real Sonic but he's the only reason she exists, and he's the only reason she went through all the suffering she went through. And no I can't reach for your hand pulling me to safety because that would be admitting that I don't really have a reason hate you, that I can't escape without your help, that your philosophy of giving villains a second chance is valid.

Anyways that was a lot of rambling but UGH it all just so good and intense and the depth and effort in this franchise is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[chimerafflesia]

since you wanted ygo asks ummmm what's your favorite ygo arc/chunk of episodes

I hope u don't mind I answered for every series because I cannot pick a single arc :3

DM: battle city SORRYYYYY for being basic but it really is the best. just everything with the introduction of the ishtars and learning more about atem's backstory UGHHH it's all SO good. yami bakura vs yami yugi destiny board duel is one of my top 3 ygo duels EVER I've seen it like 383847 times. all timer arc. this really was our battle city ❤️

GX: I AM A SOCIETY OF LIGHT ENTHUSIAST idc it's so good. season 2 of gx my all time beloved. we get so much out of this season like first of all introduction of aster phoenix one of my top 3 GX guys because he's incredible and thought he was batman for a while. really good. ALSO we get HELL KAISER RYOOOO AKA ZANE TRUSEDALE AKA ZANEYYYY <- can you tell I watch aster vs zane a lot it's so good. ALSO SARTORIOUS IS A GOATED VILLAIN IDC I FUCK WITH HIM. the final duel with jaden and him is sooososososo good. EVERYONE WATCH GX S2

5Ds: CRASH TOWN BABYYYYY I feel like this is no surprise cuz kiryu is my favorite but god for 9 episodes they COOKED. I have a massive thread on my twitter about this arc somewhere but I just really enjoyed how they didn't dismiss kiryu's struggles and tackled it head on and also didn't make yusei his savior. instead he struggled and grew on his own and yes his line in the mine where he says "im fighting to live" did make me cry who cares. also the dub has the kalin special. you can't go wrong either way. kiryu kyosuke kalin kessler you moved mountains boy.

Zexal: LOWKEY HAD TO THINK ABOUT THIS ONE but I have to say barian arc aka zexal II just in general. you gotta understand shark is my favorite zexal character and good LORD they put that boy THROUGH IT. he's the best friend he's the rival he's the villain he's actually been dead for years and the soul of a former king has been living inside him like OKAY!!!! god it's so much but it's so good. also the barians are so much fun I love each of them even if I do have favorites (hi miza hi vector hi nasch and marin) also everything with kite and mizar ok blonde bitches will be blonde bitches I guess. kite died on the moon and it was so peak. I love zexal II

ARC-V: ummmmm this one's actually a little hard because all my favorite duels/episodes are sporadic. like my favorite duel in the whole show (shun vs dennis) is in synchro arc but my favorite episode (135 aka the trembling dimensions aka peak everything) is in the fusion arc. but SUPPOSE my favorite arc is the academia arc because it does have banger moments (yuya/yuto vs ruri and serena is my second favorite duel seriously they COOKED) and I also really love the eps where they lore dump 200 episodes of information in about five. there's a scene where yuya uses performapal gatlinghoul to fire 38377 rounds into leo akaba and it's glorious. also academia arc is where my friend yuri is and well I'm a little biased. truthfully every arc and every episode of arcv is my favorite even the mid ones WELL ACTUALLY probably not the battle beast episodes I don't really know what that was. screentime that could have been given to Literally Anyone Else I think. watch arcv but watch out!

I'm not done w/ vrains so I cannot accurately answer and I haven't seen rush animes yet but I will report back when I do 🫡 thank you for the ask I LOVE talking about yugioh if you couldn't tell.

[clumsiestgiantess]

Erica pov of chapter 16; new love is in the air!

[A love larger than life]

There was nothing left for me in the mansion; I was so sure of it.  However, shortly after finishing a wonderful breakfast made by the box I’d come up with for her, Alexis dug through the rubble regardless.  I was about to tell her to just leave it alone, when I noticed the large wooden dresser she’d cast to the side, still intact.  “Hey, wait!" I called, "That’s my dresser!”  I know that must’ve been obvious, but I was so shocked to see it in one piece.  Alexis pulled away from the cliffside to let me across.  Once I got over, I yanked the drawers open wide.  Inside, a few sets of old clothes sat pristinely untouched.  

“Finally!” I cried out, holding up one of my shirts, “I can wear my own clothes!”  Oh how badly I’d missed wearing decent things!  Sure, I was given plenty of options in the hundreds of empty houses left in all the subdivisions that surrounded the cliff, but they were unnerving, really.  I could never quite shake the unease of wearing a person’s clothes who may or may not be getting tortured somewhere by some insane giants from the portals.

Putting together a decent outfit from the items in the drawer, I clambered back across the rubble to a small part of my house that was still standing.  “Ok, I take back what I said.  Maybe there are some useful things in here,” I noted as I ducked behind the single wall to change.

Once I’d finished, I stepped out from behind the rubble to examine myself.  “Damn, I haven’t worn this in forever.  Probably because I stashed it in there,” I said, gesturing to the dresser.  After that miraculous find, I helped Alexis dig through the rest of the junk left from the hazmat giants’ destructive pillaging.  I couldn’t do much with the bigger pieces of rubble, but Alexis was happy to push them aside for me.  With a few hours of searching, we collected a fair amount of my things that I’d assumed had long been lost.  Most of the items I was glad to see; they reminded me of my life before all of this, when things were more normal.  However, after Alexis cast aside one piece of rubble in particular, I recoiled away from what I’d found underneath.  “Oh, it’s.. that,” I addressed it in disgust.  

The safe where my infinite supply of money had been stored sat eerily pristine beside the rest of the torn up pieces of my house.  This was taking me on a trip a bit too far down memory lane — all the way back to the months Alexis had controlled me.  Curiosity hummed in the back of my mind, wondering how much money was still left.  But I had to remind myself that it didn’t matter.  Money’s basically worthless now, which is a crazy notion in itself.  Why would I even need to buy stuff anyway?  Alexis and I go out and sort through all the free things left in houses all the time.

Alexis and I both glanced warily at each other, immediately turning away as our gazes briefly met.  “I.. should get rid of that,” Alexis stated nervously, reaching down to snatch the safe from the rubble in front of me.  I stood in silence, recalling all the days I spent wondering if I would ever have my freedom back.  “You seemed so horrible back then,” I said quietly.  “I thought you were some invisible being from another dimension, playing god with creatures beneath yourself, using me like a character in a game to interact with my world.  Seems silly, huh?” I laughed bitterly.  “I really believed I’d never have control over my own body again.”  

Alexis hadn’t meant to torture me; she was only trying to give me her slightly twisted version of a normal life after watching me royaly fuck mine up a few different times.  She’d swore left right and center that she’d never do it again, so I wasn’t worried I’d ever end up like that.  In fact, Alexis would probably tear apart any giant who even tried to control me.  A lot had changed in those four years she was gone.  To think there was a time I was afraid of her — just yesterday I kissed her, and she kissed me!  And wow did it feel good!

I shook off the memories and turned back to Alexis.  Her cheerful expression had fallen into a look of despair.  I could only imagine the internal struggle Alexis constantly had to face, always haunted by her past mistakes.  Once she dared to look at me again, I held out my hands, palm up.  This was our signal to call the other person closer.  Alexis would offer me her hand so I could step onto it, and I would offer up my hands as a gesture for her to get more level with me.  If I was lucky, she would place her chin squarely in my upturned palms — close enough I could feel the breath on her lips.

Hesitantly, Alexis stepped forward, resting her chin on the lawn in front of me to get closer to my height.  “You weren’t the first person to make me feel like that,” I told her once she settled.  It was true.  During my horrific time with John and the others, I’d had about as little control over my body as I had while being actually controlled by her.

“However,” I added, “you were the first to apologize for it.”  Alexis stilled as I stepped up to her, eyes darting away from me and back again.  When we first befriended eachother, I’d thought that she was always distancing herself from me to stop us from getting too attached to one another — that way she could freely leave me without too much guilt.  However, over the last few weeks, I've come to realize her hesitation stemmed from an awful fear that she might hurt me in some way or another if she even physically came too close to me.  

So, if Alexis wouldn't fill the space between us — which was almost always the case — I made it my job to do so instead.  Closing my eyes, I took the final step forward and leaned against her trustingly, my forehead coming to rest on her brow.  “Thank you,” I whispered.  My voice was so quiet, I feared Alexis might not hear it.  “for letting me rely on you.  Stay with me, please.  Y- You probably want to go home by now, but I’m not ready for you to leave yet.”  

God, why can’t she stay here with me?  Or, better yet: why can’t we just go back to the way things used to be?  Before our little picnic by the lake that ended up driving us so far apart?  However, Alexis had warned me not to keep thoughts like that in my head.  She wants me- needs me to be here, not in the past.  If she’s ever going to get home, I have to be ready to take care of myself without her.  The thought of being without her now that I found out she loved me was cruel.  It practically tears out my heart whenever I think of it.

I took a shuddering breath as Alexis pulled away from me.  Moments later, her lips pressed lightly into the left side of my face.  Warm ecstasy spread through me from the spot where her very large kiss covered my head.  I still can’t believe she loves me.

“I wouldn't trade your company for the world, Erica,” Alexis told me lovingly.  I blushed, absentmindedly brushing my hand over the place where her lips touched my skin.  Before Alexis could retreat back over the cliffside, I rushed forward and hugged a few of her fingers in a strange embrace.  It’s unbelievable that this was how much of her I could hold — only a few fingers.

Alexis seemed a bit shocked at first, but she soon came around to the odd gesture.  The rest of her digits slowly folded in around me, creating a soft all-encompassing embrace.  Screw a normal hug; this was infinitely better.  My eyes teared up and I nearly gave in to the temptation to pull myself further into her hand.  I so badly wanted to curl up and let her hold me, but it just wasn't the time.  I have bigger plans on my mind.

Pushing away Alexis' fingers, I stepped off to the side of her hand just slightly as I quickly brushed the tears from my eyes.  "I'll finish sorting this out," I said once I composed myself, nodding at the lopsided pile of my things that we'd collected.  "But once I'm done I'd like to practice balancing myself on your shoulder."  The very second I announced my plan, Alexis looked ready to shoot it down with something along the lines of 'Erica, it's too dangerous, you could fall'.  

Before she could deny me, I held up a hand to silence her.  "Don't ruin the mood," I chided, "Last night you promised me I could try it again.  How am I going to get better if I don't practice?"  I watched Alexis' expression shift in thought while hopefully awaiting some sort of approval of my antics.  In the grand scheme of things, I understand why Alexis would be so protective of me.  I mean, I have been kidnapped twice now.  Add on the fact that she has feelings for me, making her doubly protective of me.  I'm certainly not complaining, though.  I need someone like that in my life; I've always needed someone like that — someone who could stop me from making bad decisions before it was too late.  Or just.. stop bad things from happening to me, period.

I began sorting through the pile of my things as Alexis still mulled over my request, clearly lost in thought.  Though all of these items brought back pleasant memories, some of them were a bit annoying.  Like my cell phone charger, for instance.  My phone is long gone — god knows where that thing is — but my stupid charger was still miraculously unaffected by the damage inflicted on my house.  I quickly got bored messing around with my stuff and wandered back over to the cliffside where Alexis stood.  I tried to be nonchalant about it, but I did really want to ride on her shoulder.  It's such a neat vantage point — almost like I’m a giant too — and I feel so much closer to her sitting there.  

Finally, Alexis lowered her hand to the lawn where I stood.  I could tell by the cute little expression on her face that she'd given in to my silent begging.  "You're adorable," I whispered under my breath as I climbed up and into her hand.  She obviously didn't hear me; she never did.  Alexis was far too big to ever hear me whispering to myself, which is probably a good thing.  I've occasionally made fun of her under my breath simply because I know she can't hear me.

"Hold on tighter this time, alright?" Alexis asked as she lifted me up to her shoulder, "I don't want you to fall over backwards like you did yesterday."  I nodded freverently, excited to get going.  "I know, I will."  Staying true to her protective ways, Alexis began walking agonizingly slowly.  “Come on!  You went faster than this yesterday!” I complained.  “Yeah, and you also fell off yesterday.”  I hate it when she’s right, but she is right.  However, after a few walkarounds of proof that I could handle that speed just fine, Alexis did steadily pick up the pace.  Over the next few days, we practiced at a faster and faster speed until I could sit comfortably on her shoulder with her normal gait.

Surprisingly, there were very few mishaps.  Most of the time I managed to right myself before I fell too far.  Only once did I completely fall off of Alexis, and it was partially her fault.  She’d pointed out how the creepy ruined water tower in the distance kinda looked like a satellite crashed to Earth.  I had to lean out fairly far to see it around Alexis’ neck, which was a bit too far past where I was safe from falling.  

One moment I was clinging to her shoulder, the next I was free-falling through the air, plummeting to the ground far below.  I barely had time to cry out before I was firmly pressed between two surfaces, both of which were pleasantly warm and soft.  Knowing that Alexis had caught me, I took a brief moment to calm myself down.  I assumed I’d been pinned between Alexis’ hands, so I hugged myself deeper into the surface below me, assuring my racing mind that I was safely in her grasp.  However, once I was nestled into her skin, I realized the surface was a lot more plush than it usually was.  Wait.. is this clothing material?

It took me a few moments to figure out what had happened.  Alexis had quickly pinned me between one of her hands and her chest to catch me, pressing me firmly onto one of her breasts.  I immediately flushed deep red as I realized what I’d just snuggled into.  Trying not to be too conspicuous, I pushed myself away from her slightly, only blushing harder as I watched my hands sink into her skin.  Seconds later, I fell backwards onto Alexis’ outstretched palm.  She’d finally released me.  

I sat dumbfounded in her hand as she scolded me to be more careful.  Her words were lost in my own thoughts.  I’ve never been held that close to her before.  I stood and stepped carefully over to Alexis’s chest again, placing a single hand over the place I’d been moments before.  I barely even processed what I was doing.  I was too mesmerized by the rhythm of Alexis’ heartbeat, mixed with the offbeat swish of air rushing to her lungs.  It was a strange sensation, feeling the thundering of her heartbeat beneath my fingers as her chest rose and fell with each breath.  This was proof that she wasn’t some impossible being, but rather one gigantic living thing.  It’s insane how impossible that seems.

Suddenly, I became aware of what I was doing.  “Your heart’s beating really fast,” I said awkwardly, pulling my hand back in embarrassment, “I can feel it, it.. sounds.. nice.”  What are you acting so embarrassed for? I internally scolded myself.  Do you want her to realize that you enjoyed snuggling up to her like that?!  A part of me responded with a ready ‘yes’, but I turned away and played it off as best I could.  Though she had confessed she liked me, I didn’t think Alexis was quite ready for that kind of intimacy yet.

I waved a hand nonchalantly at the cliffside where my house used to be.  “I’m ready to go back now.  I- I think that’s enough practice for today.”  Alexis gave me a curious look, but said nothing and headed for home.  The moment we got back to the remains of my house, I quickly changed the subject by complaining about my dirty clothes.  Alexis and I came up with a plan to visit the one house in the subdivision that still had power.  Hopefully the washing machine actually still works.

Later we ate dinner together, and all traces of my awkwardness had disappeared.  While I finished my meal, I watched Alexis patrol the abandoned neighborhood for signs of her own kind.  I'd told her how upset I was about them.  Could they control me like Alexis could?  She was adamant that it wasn't possible, but she couldn't know that for certain.  

Once she finished her search, Alexis came to rest on the cliffside to my right.  I absentmindedly drew a bit closer to her, rattled by the thought of the hazmat giants taking over my world.  Alexis must've noticed me move closer, because she shifted to the side, letting her head rest on the top of the cliff, level with me.  I know her well enough that this was a silent ask for me to move closer.  Normally, Alexis won't get too close to me thanks to the fear I may or may not have vested in her by scaring her off four years ago.  However, on occasion, she'd offer herself over to me.  My favorite times spent with her often come from these moments, where she would let me get as close to her as I dared.

I stood suddenly as a brilliant idea struck me.  Striding up to the place where she settled down, I lay back on the side of Alexis' face, sinking into her soft cheek.  The feeling was akin to sitting on a heated bean bag chair.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially since the nights were getting slightly colder every day.  I was distracted from her by the flickering of lights out in the yard.  For the briefest of moments, I thought they’d come from flashlights further down the road and gasped, causing Alexis to tense beneath me.  However, they were only fireflies.  I pointed them out to Alexis to put her back at ease.

In slight amusement, I watched her try, and fail, to catch the little bugs.  They were tiny compared to me.  I could barely imagine how small they’d be to Alexis, and how impossible they would be for her to catch.  She sighed longingly; I stood up, slightly concerned.  Alexis began a small story about her childhood — how much she loved catching them when she was younger.  Aww, now she’s literally too big to catch them.  Though, I’m not.

Moments later, I was out in my old front yard, stepping through the dark to capture the tiny floating lights, which mostly didn’t seem to care that they were being taken.  When I’d caught a few of them, I returned to Alexis with a smug smile.  “I got you something,” I told her nonchalantly.  “What is it?”  Her voice sounded curious, but I know she already knew the answer.  She’d watched me gather the little bugs.  “Hold out your hand and find out,” I replied, playing along.  

My heart skipped a beat as her right hand slid up to me, resting the tips of her fingers on the bottom of my cupped hands.  For a moment, it was jarring.  I mean, she can hold me captive between her palms just like the little fireflies crawling around in mine.  Despite her obvious ‘dangers’, the risk of befriending, then loving, her came with too many benefits for me not to risk it.

With the gentleness I’d want her to use with me, I released the fireflies into her cupped hand.  They drifted through the space between her fingers for a moment before floating up into the night.  Alexis’ look of pure awe reflected their light as they left, and I watched her as pride swelled in my chest.  I did that.  I made her so happy!   Then her pupils darted to me.  Her look softened with a small smile that made me giddy under her loving gaze.  Using a gentle grip I hadn’t even experienced from someone my own height, Alexis brought my hands into hers, pressing them softly between two of her fingers.

“Thank you.  I have something for you, too.”  God, how’d her voice get so hot all of a sudden?  Alexis leaned over the cliffside, her face coming up beside mine as lips longer than my forearms slid softly against my cheek, drifting down over my neck.  I froze for the briefest moment — my mind overwhelmed by everything.  Then, I practically melted against her, pressing deep kisses into her bottom lip.  I tried to give more, but she didn’t even move.  Was I not enough?  Or was it another one of Alexis’ moments where she somehow believed that she would be too dangerous for me?  Likely, it was the latter.

Sighing with loving annoyance, I stepped away from her just slightly, and her eyes fluttered open.  “I- I don’t want to sound greedy,” I began quietly, “but can I have a bit more?  It’s so.. big.  But I can tell you’re holding back.”  Her confused look soured into confliction.  “I don’t want to hurt you.”  I knew it.  She’s holding back to keep me ‘safe’ from herself.  When will she learn that she’s the safeguard, not the danger?  Shaking my head pityingly, I reached for her chin, which rose just below my face while she spoke.  “You won’t,” I told her sternly.

I worried that she might never want to be too intimate with me — fearing for my safety and whatnot.  However, she exhaled a slight chuckle.  “It’ll cost you extra.”  I was midway through rolling my eyes in exasperation when my chin was gently raised by a finger so big it took up the entire space of my neck.  Irrational, or actually, rational fear lit up my veins.  Any sane person would run or at least struggle feeling their throat pressed against something so heavy.  But I practically craved it.  

Alexis bent down over me.  Her lips were still slightly parted when I shifted up to kiss her.  My heart raced wildly in my chest as a tongue wider than my head slid over my lips.  I inadvertently made a small noise and pulled myself closer, sloppily kissing the gigantic slick muscle.  I know she’s big but holy shit, she’s big.  Her tongue slid into my mouth while I kissed her.  Because of its sheer size, all I could do was sit there and take it as Alexis worked to love me.  My jaw began throbbing as I opened it wide, disbelieving that only the very tip of her tongue was somehow all it took to make this happen to me.  Only for a second did I find myself frightened that my jaw would break loose, but then Alexis pulled away for a breath of air and I fell backwards, gasping for breath.

Saliva dripped off my face in globs that somehow made me queasy and horny at the same time.  “That was-”  I had to take another breath mid-sentence, still not fully recovered.  “That was a really good gift.  Mine kinda sucks in comparison,” I chuckled.  Alexis brushed a finger slowly down my arm before reaching out with a bit of the fabric of her shirt to wipe away the stuff left on my face.  If only we could go to bed together.  We do, but I always have to leave because she might crush me if I sleep with her.   …but what if I don’t sleep with all of her?

The moment Alexis was done cleaning me off, I ran to my sleeping bag.  Before she could take back her hand, I grabbed her pinky and dove into bed with it tucked to my chest.  I slid around it almost protectively, silently pleading with her not to take it back as I got comfortable with it.  The single finger was nearly the same size as me, and I treated it as if it were all of her, twinning it slowly between my arms and legs, finally resting my head on its side.  

After ensuring she couldn’t get out of my grasp, I glanced up at her.  Alexis stared down at me in shock, and I suddenly got the notion of how strange it all must look and feel to her.  “I- I know it’s not normal, but I uhh.. don’t think anything between us will be.  Not that that’s a bad thing!” I added, catching myself.  Shit, she’s going to think I’m weird, or.. or she’ll think I don’t like it!

“You can have your hand back if you want-”  I began to back off her, but Alexis quickly shook her head.  “Keep it,” she replied, moving her finger so it fit snugly against my chest.  “At least until you fall asleep.”  I felt as if I’d burst from joy as she curled up on the cliffside right beside me, gently pulling my sleeping bag closer until it was only a foot away from her chest.  The rumble of her voice was all-encompassing as she spoke, making me shiver.

“I don’t care what we have, as long as we have it together.  I’m so glad you confessed.  It was probably hard for you.  I don’t think I ever would’ve said anything if it weren’t for that.”  “Why?” I joked, “Were you scared of me?”  Alexis’ laugh sounded incredulous, and I frowned.  Is it really that impossible for you to be scared of me?  Haven’t you been scared of me? 

“Don’t take that the wrong way,” she assured me gently, “but it was the opposite; I was worried you would be afraid of me.  I didn’t want to end up forcing you into something you weren’t ready for or didn’t want… again.  I do love you, Erica.  I never want you to feel helpless against me.  Not ever.”

Oh Alexis.  My eyes began to tear up the moment her rumbly soft voice had told me she loved me.  The rumble in her voice only grew stronger as she spoke, more seriousness placed behind it.  “If you ever feel like that, tell me, ok?  I’ll stop whatever I’m doing.  I promise.”  Giddy with joy, I sprung out of bed and raced over to Alexis, hugging her as best as I could with her being so much bigger than me.  I pulled myself into the fabric of her shirt, breathing in her mostly earthy scent.  

A quiet thanks escaped my lips.  “God, it’s so nice to have someone I can trust again.”  I don’t think I’d been properly hugged in a long time — unless you count our reunion in the city while I was drugged up on who-knows-what.  Suddenly, I felt something press lightly against the backs of my legs.  Realizing it was Alexis’ cupped hand, I let myself lean backwards, tucking my legs up into her palm.

Again it struck me just how massive she was.  Her grip was all-encompassing as her fingers slid around me, tucking me against her chest.  I snuggled deeply between them, wholly uncertain of what to even do with such an overwhelming mixture of relief and comfort.  I pressed her fingers tightly against me, as if the pressure would calm away such a giddy feeling.  Their textured pads slid down my legs and across my body, holding me tight.

Alexis’ heartbeat sounded so close too — just like earlier.  Only, instead of the quick pulsing throb of her calming down from near disaster, it was slow and rhythmic and loud, but in a weirdly quiet way.  The sound itself was soft and muffled, but the sheer scale of it made my bones rattle.  I would listen to it the rest of my life if I could.

There was something indescribably comforting in the way she could hold all of me in the palm of her hand.  It was terrifying at first, but now it just makes me feel cared for in a way I never really have before.  Confessing my feelings for Alexis had been a long-debated internal argument that went on from the moment I realized she’d actually returned, not just in my desperate imagination.  I don't doubt for a moment that I made the right decision.

Past her fingertips, I watched Alexis’ expression.  It flickered in a myriad of miniscule ways that you could never have noticed unless a person’s face were so much bigger than your own.  Her loving gaze grew into a little lopsided smile, which grew into a wide grin.  Heat crept across my cheeks seeing her look at me like that.  It suddenly felt a lot warmer than it did a few moments ago.  I stifled a nervous laugh, “You look so happy for once.”  Stretching out of her grip, I tried to shake off the flustered warmth.  “I am happy.  Are you?”  I nodded without a second’s hesitation.  “Never been happier,” I told her confidently.  “You think we can make things work this time?  I’m feeling really good about all this, which.. isn’t actually normal for me.”

I know what ‘normal’ is supposed to be: love unconditionally.  Or maybe it’s just a pipe dream for someone like me.  Yet.. with Alexis it’s different.  She- She really does love me.  There was really a time I told myself this was impossible; now look at me.  I was lifted up steadily until I sat in front of her face.  Alexis rested her lips on me, just beginning to kiss me again, but I stopped her with a light shove.  “Just-”  I paused, trying to think of what to tell her — how to tell her.  “Stay like this.”  I let her lips fall back across my body again.  It felt heavenly — the texture, the plush surface. 

My giddy adrenaline spike crashed into a wave of tiredness, and I gently sank against her.  “I love you so much.”  The last thing I remember feeling before I fell asleep was the slight curve of a smile against my side before I couldn’t stay awake any longer.