#god has let me live another day and I'm about to make it everyone's problem

[xxbloodibunnixx]

the good lord has taken tiktok away from us and i will now make it everyone on tumblr's problem

[littlecrittereli]

Life Update

[red-winter-is-coming]

Thorns!Vanilla if anything even remotely goes wrong: Violence isn't the solution. It's a question, and the answer is a staff to the head

[nyree2712]

Formula 1 - Incorrect Quote 140

Max: *Waking up* Good morning Charlie! God has let me live another day!

Charles: *Still sleeping* Ummm

Max: *Grabbing his RB merch and heading to the Paddock* And I'm about to make it everyone's problem

[akanemnon]

I love how Lesslo's personality is just "God has decided to let me live another day, and I'm about to make it everyone else's problem"

He went from a symbol of love, happiness, and togetherness to a symbol of Asgore's divorce.

So what does he do? Convince himself that spreading pain and misery is all he can do now.

[vaguely-concerned]

To the ‘themes I am picking up on in Veilguard’ list, let's go ahead and add what I have a sneaking suspicion will actually turn out to be The theme:

— the world has changed and can never be as it was again.

— I have been changed and can never be who I was again.

— in this simple unavoidable truth there is endless grief and endless hope.

And I… may be getting a bit emotional about it haha. Let me show my work a bit: 

if da:o is a game about people who are already dead or half ghosts in some form (through societal forces, psychologically, functionally, literally, in body, through the joining etc.) coming together anyway to save the world from being swallowed by total nihilism and despair (symbolized by the blight) through the power of love and friendship and also this sword/potential heroic sacrifice that I found, da2 is a game about people who have lost their homes and been set adrift finding and building new homes in each other (while completely failing to save the world. also through the power of love and friendship. as well as years of petty bickering <3 we must imagine kirkwall if not happy then worth having been because the love was there the love was there and that's the only sanctifying force we can ever have in this doomed world and city of ours), and da:i is a game about old stabilizing-but-unjust comfortable lies vs. disruptive but potentially liberating uncomfortable truths, and the power of friendship to help us distinguish the one from the other and navigate through them...

folks… I'm starting to think that veilguard might be a game specifically about moving towards recovery and acceptance after trauma — about how even in this flawed, severed, scarred state, what is here right now is worth loving and worth caring for. even in an imperfect and impermanent world and self, there is worth and joy. and of course the first real tragedy — and threat — of Solas is that he just cannot find it in himself to accept this and move on, to let go of what was, the regret won’t let him go or he won’t let go of it. which means that even though on the surface it’s Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (and the will to subjugate and violate they represent) who are the main villains, the real antagonistic force in this story beneath that is the Dread Wolf’s despair. A despair Rook must make an answer to by the end of the game, one way or another, compassionately or with righteous fury, triumphant or pyrrhic.

The world will change again and again and so will you — BUT the crucial element is that so will everyone else who exists along with you, you are fundamentally not alone in this existential truth. all we’ll ever have is each other and my god that is plenty, my god that is enough!!! Which is the second thing Solas just can’t accept, he keeps himself separate and completely alone out of an awful mix of fear and pride and feeling himself unworthy of anything else. Rook and the player want to save the world of Thedas because it’s where everyone we love lives, Solas wants to go back to the past because that’s the only neighbourhood where he can still visit those he loved — and the person he himself was, before. A very sympathetic and human instinct/trap to fall into when touched by trauma, I think, if only it wasn’t backed by godlike power, a fundamentally oppositional personality, and a catastrophic lack of therapy to make it literally everyone else’s problem too lol. It’s varric and solas’ banter about the man on the island and where meaning in a life comes from all over again, writ large and with detail work — and the added idea of ‘what if there are also other islands out there, though. With other people on them that you could find if you reach for each other’. Rook with the best of intentions has to make choices to which there are no perfect outcomes and live with what happens — and not cut themselves off from everyone else around them even when there is regret or shame. You get back up every day and you make a life with other people doing the same and you do your best, and that’s the only victory this world will give you. In the end, that is more than enough, that is essential. And I um. I love that. So much. It’s why some of the writing clumsiness on top can’t hurt me because this thematic spine is so solid and so beautiful to me. It’s DA2 all over again that way for me personally — I forgive this story for what it isn’t and couldn’t be, and I love it with my whole stupid open heart for what it actually is. Thank you for coming to my TED-talk and goodbye etc.      

(For my fellow TLT heads out there — you know what this story is reminding me of most of all, actually? It has some big Nona the Ninth vibes down there in the deep. It’s about… the horror and unspeakable beauty that can only be found in liminality, and the role of love in making that basic fact of existence bearable. And also even more unbearable at the same time. I'm so sorry.)

[kimmryokoo]

Why would you love an animal like me? - logan howlet

author: kim ryoko

ao3

masterlist

summary: logan has a nightmare about all the people he has killed in the past and starts to think you deserve to be with someone better than him. luckly, you are there to tell him otherwise.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: feeling of not deserving someone, agnst, comfort, emotional dependence, nightmare/slight insomnia, slightly sub logan

author note: english isn't my first language, so i'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, feel free to correct me. also, i don't know how to feel about this fic, but i hope you like it. and i'm sorry it's short.

A nightmare… again.

But this time, it was different. I din’t dream about the wars; I had a dream about all the people I’ve killed, and God… there where so many.

Maybe I am a monster. An animal, like everyone calls me.

Well, not everybody. She doesn’t call me that. She’s too kind hearted to think that way about anyone; even me. Most times, think I don’t deserve her. That she deserves someone better than me. But she’s always there to tell me I’m wrong. To tell me that I’m actually a kind person that truly deserves to be loved. I want to believe her. I really do. But my mind is always playing these little fucking tricks on me, showing me the bad person everyone knows I am, and I slowly start to believe it’s true again. Why can’t I just live in peace?

If I lived in peace, she could live in peace too. With me.

But why would an animal live in peace?

I wake up, once again, with my claws out and a layer of sweat covering me. I retract my claws, seat up and look to my side. Shit. How can someone be this pretty even when sleeping? And just like that, all those thoughts come running back to me and I feel my heart clench. I know I’m selfish for not letting her go and have the life she deserves with someone better, but I can’t bring myself to let her go. Even in the days where one of us is out on a mission for just 1 hour, my hearts starts to ache from how much I miss her. I wouldn’t survive a single fucking day without her. I move myself a bit to seat at the edge of the bed with my head low. My heart starts beating fast again and with every second that pasts, I feel my insecurities get bigger and bigger. I know I’m fucked up when all I want right now is for the woman sleeping next to me to wake up and kiss and hug all my problems out of me. How could I ever let her go? The only thing I can do is wait for her to grow tired of me like everyone has done after their own time.

I heard the sheets moving behind me and, a few seconds later, I feel two arms wrapping themselves around me, one around my neck and one around my chest, two legs wrapping around my waist and a head snuggling itself to my neck. I smell her scent, the only one that can make me go fucking feral in less than 1 second, and, at the same time, bring me peace no one has ever been able to before.

“Why are you awake? Did you have another nightmare?” she asked and I couldn’t bring myself to answer her so I just nodded. I could only think about how she deserves someone better than an old, murderous, shitty animal.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry…” she said like it was her fault “Is there anything I can do to help you?” her sweet voice making me melt more with each passing seconds, but also hammering my heart more knowing that the person she ends up with is the luckiest person on earth and I would do anything in my power to be them. To respond to her question I just moved my head again signing a ‘no’.

As if she understood this was worst than normal, she got up and put herself standing between my legs, while cupping my face. Even with me sitting, she wasn’t that much taller than me,which is another thing I find cute i her. One of the thousands. She tilted my head slightly so I was looking at her and I almost forgot everything just by looking at her loved-filled eyes. Almost. She pulled me in for a slow and soft kiss and kissed my forehead as soon as she broke it. She then hugged my head thigh against her chest and I let myself finally enjoy the care she was giving me and relax for a moment.

“Why do you love me?”

“What do you mean, Logan?” she asked genuinely confused as if the question I asked was the stupidest thing on earth.

“Why would you love an animal like me?” I repeated.

“Don’t say stuff like that Logan, you know I don’t like it. And to answer you question, I love you because, either you believe it or not, you are the kindest, most loving person I ever met. You always put everyone else before you, even Scott. Every time you see someone struggling, or sad, you do your very best to help them. Even though you put this ‘tough guy’ look on you face everyday, deep down, you care more about people then you know. I love you, Logan, because you are always ready to give your life in exchange for someone else’s, even a total stranger’s. I don’t care about what you believe or not, or what people tell you or not, but you, James Logan Howlet, The Wolverine or whatever you want to call yourself, you will never be the animal they make you think you are.”

Fuck.

With that I held her tighter and my body started to shake. When she noticed it, she held me even closer than before and started to play with my hair and kissing the top of my head. She relished me from her grip to cup my face again and see the fear and sadness in my eyes as we held eye contact.

“I’m sorry… For burdenin’ you with all my shit problems” I said with a shaky voice.

“Oh, baby… You’re no burden and neither are your problems. I’m here to help you with all your problems the same way you are always there to help me with mine. Nobody’s perfect, but we can be better with the help of each other.”

After a long moment of comfortable silence, I start to feel sleepy in her embrace and murmur a small ‘Thank you’ and she kissed the top of my head again in return. She feels me getting sloppier in her arms and gently helps me to get in bed. She then goes to the other side of the bed and hugs me again, pulling me into her arms, burying her face in my hair and playing with the little ones at the nape of my neck and whispering how much she loved me.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I let myself believe in her and think that an animal like me actually deserves love.

Needless to say I slept like a rock for the rest of the night, finally, nightmare free.

Hope you liked it!

xoxo, kim ryoko

[osaemu]

when they hug you

PAIRING: tartaglia, xiao, venti, kaeya, diluc, zhongli x reader

SYNOPSIS: when is his embrace the most memorable?

CONTENTS: cursing. indirect mentions of death in xiao and zhongli's parts.

childe spins you around in his arms the second he returns home from another one of his missions. you two collapse in the snow, laughing like children and smiling so hard your faces hurt. being in his arms again feels like home — for both of you.

"haven't seen you in a while, hm? c'mon, let's go grab a drink while you tell me all about what's happened while i was gone, yeah?"

xiao pulls you close in the middle of the night when his mind starts to replay every battle he's ever been through, every friend he's lost, and every time he thought it was over for him. his arms find their way around you because he wants to know that you're still there – to ensure you won't slip through his fingers, just like everyone else did.

"just making sure you're stil— ah, i mean, keeping you safe. go back to sleep. oh, me? i don't need that much sleep. don't worry about me."

venti wraps his arms around you whenever he gets the chance. it's usually for comfort or out of laziness — primarily the latter. sometimes he'd just plop down next to you in the tavern and wrap his arms around your shoulders and lay there, drunkenly mumbling something you can't make out until you finally agree to take him home.

"huh, why is everything so blurry?! i can't— don't let me go, or i'll fall! and if i fall then i- huh? you won't let me fall . . . ? good!"

kaeya wraps his arms around your waist when he has a point to prove, whether it's to you or to the world. if he's trying to make a point to someone else, boom, your pretty face is in between his arms as visual credibility. and god forbid that he's trying to make a point to you, because he'll have no problem trapping you in his arms for as long as it takes to get you to agree with him on whatever the matter is.

"tch, is someone getting distracted? eyes up here, babe. look me in the eye while i tell you why i'm right about this."

diluc hugs you long and hard after a shitty day. he probably has a terrible headache and muscles in desperate need of a massage, but your hand trailing down his back makes everything a little more bearable. 

"fuck, my head is killing me. help your boyfriend out and give him a drink or two, yeah? or a massage. actually, i'd prefer that, love. you're the best."

zhongli holds you in his arms when you're about to leave. maybe it's to go to work, maybe you need groceries, and maybe you even just want to step outside. he always wants to make sure that you leave with a good memory of him — having lived for thousands of years, he knows all too well how unpredictable life is. he never wants to have the regret of seeing you for the last time without a smile on your face.

"bye, darling. i'll see you soon, stay safe... yes, i know i say the same thing every time you leave. why shouldn't i?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i had a three year long childe phase </3

[raphael-angele]

How I imagine Bianca if she lived:

One name: Bernadette Rostenkowksi Wolowitz

During Capture the Flag:

Bianca, yelling at Percy as they run: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Percy: *panting*

Bianca: How am I faster than you?! I'm carrying more equipment and I stopped to tie my shoes!

Percy: I have asthma...BACK OFF!

---

Coming back from the Titan's Curse Mission:

Nico: Bia! *runs to her and hugs her*

Bianca: *hugs him back* Hey. *pulls away and looks at him* How was camp?

Nico: It was awesome! We did wood carving, and made smores, and I learned how to make a fire, Travis and Conner even let me join Capture the Flag

Bianca, who made them promise not to let Nico join CtF until he's trained and claimed:

Nico: :)

Bianca: That's nice. Why don't you go back to the Cabin and we'll talk about the mission.

Nico: Mkay :)

Bianca, walking up to Travis and Conner: You better explain to me why you chose to ignore my instructions about my little brother joining that game, cuz one way or another, I'm gonna leave grieving for a friend.

---

Leo, opening the door:

Bianca: You son of a bitch. What did you tell Nico?! Did you tell him that there's something going on between us because he thinks there is and he is completely freaking out!

Leo:

Leo: Please, come in.

Bianca: What in Hades is wrong with you?! Leo, my position as a Hunter could be compromised! I could get into a lot of trouble!

Leo: Wha- I didn't say that there was something going on between us. I said that you were always so nice to me, it would be nice to be with someone like you.

Bianca: I'M NICE TO EVERYONE!

Leo: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it that way

Bianca: Damn right you are. You tell my little brother that there is nothing, never has been, and never will be anything between us.

Leo: I will...hey, Bianca?

Bianca: What?!

Leo: You think I have a shot with Thalia?

Bianca: Of course, you do! You're a sweetheart! Any girl would be lucky to have you! *leaves and slams the door*

---

After Leo "died":

Percy and Jason fighting:

Jason: For the last time, I didn't mean to!

Percy: Oh, you didn't mean to? I'll show you what-

Bianca: HEY! Percy, Jason, other room, right now!

*other room*

Bianca: I don't know what you think you're doing but this is a very difficult time for the lot of us. We're doing this in honor of Leo and you're just gonna fight all night like a couple of children? What ever it is you're fighting about, put it aside, go back in there, and be a good friend or there's no dessert for either of you!

*main room*

Nico:

Hazel:

Frank:

Piper:

Thalia:

Reyna:

Bianca: Look at me when I'm talking to you-

Hazel, whispering to Nico: You ever notice how Bianca sounds just like dad?

Nico: ...nope

---

Hazel: Bianca, you've been to Olympus, right? On your first mission? What did it look like?

Bianca: Oh, it was beautiful. I looked down and it like it was like looking at a whole different world...if I could, I would've wiped it all out with my thimb like a God.

Hazel:

---

One summer: Hazel, Annabeth and Bianca decide to go to Disney World

Annabeth: Okay, so there's this place on Disney World where you pick your princess, they give you the hair, the makeup, the works. Haven't tried it before but I guess it would be fun to be Belle

Hazel: Oh, I wanna be Belle, too

Bianca: We can't all be Belle.

Annabeth: Alright then, how do we decide?

Bianca: Simple. This was my idea, I'm paying for it, I'm Belle. You bitches got a problem with that, we can go back to Camp right now.

---

Bianca: When was the last time you got any sleep?

Nico, figuring out a procephy: I don't know, two-three days? Not important. I don't need sleep. I need answers. I need to determine where in this SWAMP of unbalanced forces squatteth the toad of truth.

Hazel: Toad of truth? Is that a Greek thing?

Will: No, that's a sleep deprived thing.

Bianca: Okay, Nico. What happens to our brains if we don't get enough sleep?

Nico: They lose their ability to function and be rational?

Bianca: Exactly. So go march in there, go take a shower and get some sleep.

Nico: But I don't wanna go to sleep!

Bianca: I'm gonna count to three. One-

Nico: *sneers* Alright. *goes*

Will:

Hazel:

Will: Please teach me how you did that

Bianca: I raised him. I know how to get him to eat his vegetables, too.

---BONUS---

Taking Bianca to the drop off where she'll meet with the other hunters:

Bianca: Thank you for coming along to see me off, William

Will: Of course. Just wanna make sure you get there safe

Nico: Yeah, you'll get plenty of time looking for a new boy toy.

Bianca: Hey. I will not have you disrespecting me

Nico: Yes, ma'am

Will:

Will: Nico, you have a very attractive sister. You need to get used to the fact that even though she's vowed not to be in a relationship, she'll have plenty of suitors who would want to have her as their partner.

Nico: And you need to mind your own business

Will: Wha- I will not have you disrespecting me

Nico: You don't tell me what to do

Bianca: Don't you go disrespecting him

Nico: Yes, ma'am.

Bianca, to Will: You'll get there, you just gotta put some zing on it.

[handmade-witch]

I've been playing around with Incorrect Quote Generator [Link] with Y/N x Slytherin Boys squad and here are some iconic ones:

Part 2 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5 ☆ Part 6

Draco: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

☆☆☆

Draco: We wouldn’t last two minutes

without Y/N.

Draco:

Draco: Don’t tell them I said that.

☆☆☆

Lorenzo: Would you slap Mattheo-

Y/N: Yes.

Lorenzo: I didn't even finish!

Y/N: Sorry, continue.

Lorenzo: Would you slap Mattheo for 10 dollars?

Y/N: I would do it for free.

Mattheo: Rude...

☆☆☆

Theodore: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Mattheo: What changed your mind?

Theodore: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

☆☆☆

Y/N: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Draco: Mine just says "Draco no."

Y/N: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

☆☆☆

Draco, being robbed: Please! Have mercy! I have a family! A wife and kids… a dog…

Mattheo: Literally none of that is true, Draco.

Draco: Okay, but I’m sexy! That’s gotta count for something, right?

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Theodore: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Draco: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Lorenzo: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Y/N: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: *About to do something incredibly stupid*

Theodore: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

☆☆☆

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Blaise: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Y/N: ...I did. I broke it.

Blaise: No. No you didn't. Mattheo?

Mattheo: Don't look at me. Look at Lorenzo.

Lorenzo: What?! I didn't break it.

Mattheo: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Lorenzo: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Mattheo: Suspicious.

Lorenzo: No, it's not!

Theodore: If it matters, probably not, but Draco was the last one to use it.

Draco: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Theodore: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Draco: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Theodore!

Y/N: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Blaise.

Blaise: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Lorenzo: Blaise... Pansy's been awfully quiet.

Pansy: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Blaise, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Blaise: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Blaise:

Blaise: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

☆☆☆

Y/N: We call that a traumatic experience.

Y/N, turning to Theodore: Not a "bruh moment".

Y/N, turning to Draco: Not "sadge".

Y/N, turning to Mattheo: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

[sctigthethird]

Bubbaverse incorrect quotes I got from an incorrect quotes generator cause why not

(disclaimer, might be a little ooc for some of them idk)

Bubba Badass by @blues-of-randomness

Clay Paclayderm by @funny-critter-blog

Dumba Dumbaphant by eggrit0s

Manny Mammoth by @anothersmilingcrittersau

Reborn (R!) Bubba, Tusker Tiredon, Selfish(S!) Bubba by me

OG Bubba: *Holding up a picture of a seemingly young anime girl* WHO IS SHE?! IS SHE TWELVE?! 
Badass: No! She's a thousand years ol- 
OG Bubba: *Cocks shotgun* 
Badass: NO! NOOOOOOOOOO-!

Clay: Do you know the ABCs of first aid? 
Dumba: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

Badass, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Manny, the homie of my life, for telling me Clay was going to win so I shouldn’t bother preparing a speech.

R! Bubba: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it. 
R! Bubba: And I started thinking. 
R! Bubba: Like, it was just trying to get food. 
R! Bubba: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck? 
Tusker: Are you ok…?

Clay: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

S! Bubba: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Badass to Manny: We smell of sweat and loss.

Badass: We’re getting married (platonically), bitches! 
Manny: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

Manny: Don’t worry, I have a permit. 
OG Bubba: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

Clay: Quacking in my boobs over this 
Clay: QUAKING* 
Clay: BOOTS* FUCKER.

Manny: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

Tusker: I only have 6 weeks left to live…
OG Bubba: Oh my god, really?! 
Tusker: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made…

OG Bubba: You’re a loose cannon, Manny. 
Manny: No, I’m not. I’m a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me? 
Tusker: I think you play by your own rules…
Clay: No way, they think rules were made to be broken. 
OG Bubba: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon. 
Manny: No, I’m just a reckless renegade. R! Bubba is a loose cannon. 
R! Bubba: *smashes a chair* Aah! You shut your trap, Clay! 
Clay: I’d say R! Bubba’s more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose. That’s an entirely different thing. 
Tusker: Now I’m just confused… Is Manny a loose cannon or not?…
OG Bubba: All right, put on a pot of coffee. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this. 
Clay: *groans* 
R! Bubba: Aw, man.

Clay: :) 
Manny: >:( 
Clay: Turn that frown upside down! 
Manny: ):< 
Clay: Not sure what I was expecting...

Manny: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

R! Bubba: What the fuck. 
R! Bubba: ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship. 
R! Bubba: Who the hell watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.

Clay, to S! Bubba: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Clay: What starts with F and ends with Uck? 
Manny: No it doesn't. (completely fucking with them)
Dumba: Firetruck! 
Badass: FUCK!

Dumba, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea? 
Clay: Tea. 
Dumba: Wrong! It's coffee.

Badass: I really like Eminem. 
Dumba: I prefer skittles. 
Clay: They are talking about the rapper. 
Dumba: Why would they eat the wrapper?

OG Bubba: Badass, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide-?
Badass: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!

OG Bubba: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. 
R! Bubba, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

Manny, to OG Bubba: If Badass doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check. 
Badass, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Dumba: We’re going to a candy store?! 
Clay: No! It’s nighttime, candy stores are closed. 
Badass: We’re gonna ROB a candy store?!?! 
Clay, sighing: No-

Tusker: I’m doing my best…
OG Bubba: You’re not doing anything. 
Tusker: Yes… that’s what I’m best at…

Badass: Why aren’t you sleeping?

Manny: I’m too busy plotting your murder to sleep, Badass.

Badass:

Manny:

Manny: ...The nightmares.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

...sighs

looks like i owe my sibling 10 dollars ← betting that the sonic 3 episode would come out

(the following is my live reaction:)

so Costco, eh? and with Meggy, Melony, Mario, and Bob? This will be interesting

as always, you gotta have your conveniently placed "World's Biggest Meat Grinder" there ofc 😌↕️

Bob... PLEASE REPHRASE wtf dude

not in this economy, no (not even eggs are worth it)

new bed? wait what happened to the...oh

"you're not my friends anymore" [*gets war flashbacks*] oh god, there was Mr Puzzles, then Tari, and now Melony got this line

"Ink, they reused old audio before" and yet the pattern is there. Puzzles and Tari feared that they were gonna lose the people they held dear. And if Melony had this as a nightmare, the same can be said. As to why, hmmmm *game theory theme starts playing*

uh anyway here's Melony being cute :)

fun fact for the day: NEVER LEAVE MARIO AND BOB UNSUPERVISED

can we get them in those kid backpacks with leashes?

Meggy, what are you talking about? We HAVE to get the racecar bed!!

also Meggy don't say that word, the fandom's already going insane over the steam and flareglow mystery as it is ← says a theorist who has already gone crazy

y'know I should've suspected a racecar bed to be an actual car (I was close tho)

never thought we would get this Mario and Bob dynamic again and y'know what? I'm all for it! It's a nice different flavor of chaos I could get used to

It IS important, it's to see the mattress's durability and stiffness bc back pain is just awful (there goes your spine). plus, we aren't getting one that was found by the dumpster

can we get a pillow fight in an episode? SLEEPOVER EPISODE?

things would've been worse if we were in IKEA, Meggy

oh... we got Leggy again...

well, a new thing is that she can change at will. BUT I think it kinda defeats the purpose of Leggy "off to a better place" back at WOTFI 2024. I think it could've been done better at a different episode when her past trauma overwhelms her and turns into Leggy, even more if Mr Puzzles escapes and finds her. I know for a fact that no one has gotten therapy and Meggy did say in the New Year's Special that those were traumatic memories.

Basically what I'm saying is: Meggy thinks her trauma (as well as everyone else's) is past them bc Mr Puzzles is in solitary confinement when it's really not, and THAT will eventually reach a certain limit ← this could've been executed better if Leggy wasn't in this episode and let Puzzles marinate some more, hopefully that makes sense

also Leggy's screams kinda give me sensory issues but that's me thing ANYWAY BACK TO THE EPISODE

ofc if you find the perfect bed, you're already dead asleep :)

THERE'S THAT LINE AGAIN, I'm telling you it's foreshadowing

AND AGAIN AUGH

love the Danny Phantom theme add-in

...WAIT NONONO YOU CAN'T JUST LET IT PASS BY WITHOUT ME NOTICING THE SAME BED USED IN WESTERN SPAGHETTI

"...Ink" Just let me me have my moment of exaggeration, I'll come back to sanity in a second

hey, i'm just living proof that a theorist brain can go haywire at the smallest things

"I work everywhere" Shroomy 🤝 Karen

FLASHBACK TIME YESSSS

...oh....can we talk about this for a second?

The fact that Melony's past has been recontextualized again and again, it somehow makes sense. Well, kinda.

All of Melony's memories are through HER point of view. We can take the conversation between her mom and dad as true but we might not know how far this problem is.

Hear me out: in the role of a child, you would view your parents as friends (depending on how much you see them caring for one another) since the concept of romantic relationships/marriage is a bit more complex to know at that age. It's why Melony interprets her mom leaving them as the friendship ending between them, "you aren't my friend anymore". Again, Melony was pretty young when it happened but it truly stuck with her, and this mentality of "friendship ending = losing them forever" as she had it with Axol Jr. in that nightmare (the closest thing to Axol when she lost him) and then to her friends.

Now, I'm not sure if I should include the memory trip from Revelations (bc of her not remembering having a family at all) but regardless, I think Melony blames herself for her parents separating in the first place. It's normal for children in a scenario like this to believe they are the cause. As said in Revelations, Melony thought she was a "bad daughter". And in the nightmares she had, SHE believes to the cause of losing those friendships as well.

There is still that gap of time between her growing up to when she debuted on the show so the question is: did she leave her dad behind bc of the past guilt she had? And perhaps had even more guilt afterward to leave her dad by himself after everything?

The image of a perfect family in Revelations and her being the "bad daughter that has forgotten about her family", it's pretty sad to think about, and no doubt I feel bad for her :(

EVERYONE NEEDS THERAPY STAT

Mario being the voice of reason, we love to see it

guys, it's not a baby smh /silly

oh good Melony's okay... right?

and the episode ends, we got a bed at least :D y'know, it's just another Saturday

Congrats to alex-dolmatescu2-0 (here on Tumblr) for your art being featured at the end credits! 🎉

we're just not going to think about the implications as to why the Team decided to pick it for this episode, still great fanart tho :)

also this,

i think it was an editing mistake lol (...or IS IT? jkjk)

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Well, chat, this is a good episode. I wouldn't say that it was a life-changing, plot-driven episode but it was okay.

Ofc I did love the Mario and Bob dynamic and some depth on Melony. There were definitely things, like the Leggy part, that could've been executed better/be placed in a better episode.

The year has started so I don't expect much to be absolutely perfect from the Team, they're trying. I still enjoyed it, don't get me wrong.

Then there's stuff whacking at my theorist brain but we don't need to talk about that.

And apparently, we got a new member on the Team, Max Sturz (also known as WizardzWiz)!

They're the writer and storyboard artist for the SMG4 show so hello, welcome! Very excited to see what they're gonna be working on in the future!

(so for future reference, I'm gonna call them Wiz)

That's all from me. I'm just gonna be in my little tent until SOMEBODY responds to the steam + flareglow mystery. Remember: numbers always go first, and I'll see you guys on the next one!

[chodzacaparodia]

Kaiser: God has let me live another day and I'm about to make it everyone's problem.

[yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy]

Gale's got a big... vocabulary

Gale.

Gale with a breeding kink.

Gale with a breeding kink and a large vocabulary.

Gale with a breeding kink and a large vocabulary, who only becomes more verbose the hornier he gets.

---

I love the fanfictions that have Gale's loquacious vocabulary inversely decrease as his horniness levels increase.

However, I haven't seen a fanfiction where Gale retains his erudition despite being insanely horny.

I aim to fix this.

I threw in a breeding kink because god let me live another day and I am making it everyone's problem.

I am the sovereign of cringe, yet even I cringed when writing this. There were several times while I was writing this that I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I love Gale so very much— why did I do this to myself?

Enjoy!

:)

AN: I have a longer WIP fic where this scene is from. I'm posting this scene on its own because the fic its from was supposed to be a humorous story, but my emo ass turned it angsty. 💀

Warnings: breeding kink, scientific/ academic jargon, light smut, hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobiacs beware (not really tbh but when tf else will I ever be able to use that word?)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had thought that you knew what you'd signed up for when you eagerly agreed to explore Gale's breeding kink.

You never could have imagined that this would happen, though in hindsight you should've expected it.

Gale is man who, in his own words, has a "propensity towards verbosity."

His intelligence is one of the (many) things that made you fall in love with him. Normally, you found his scholarly ramblings to be quite erotic— even when they persisted during your love-making.

But everything, no matter how good, has a limit— and you'd found that limit when Gale was vigorously thrusting into you while excitedly babbling about breeding you.

"Please my rose, let me breed you, allow me to plant my virile seed deep within your fertile womb. Grant me the privilege of siring our progeny. It would be an honor to make you a primigravida. My deepest desire is seeing you heavily enceinte, I yearn to watch as your uterus distends your abdomen— to see you grow round with child. I long for you to bear our children, as many as you'll permit me."

His words, although sweet, immediately killed your arousal.

[watchmakerhippo]

What a cliche...

The first day of school went slowly in my opinion. Too much unnecessary talk, happy faces, rainbows and unicorns vomiting candies. Everyone acted like a typical cartoon character, making them look stupid. And everything seemed to go well: the morons didn’t infect me with their disease, the teacher didn’t complain about me, Edrickins... Ugh... God, what a terrible thing I said. Adrien Agreste gave me a minute of attention. It seemed like the day was not lost, but then HE appeared...

Stone emo...

I just didn't think remembering his name was important, okay? As if you would remember the name of some random NPC.

No need for judgmental looks, they won't affect me.

Basically, he had to ruin my day. Okay, so that brainless gorilla only had his sights set on that grey mouse, but no, [Name] Bourgeois has to pay for something. But for what? For saying my honest opinion? Well, fuck, should I keep quiet while they're whining here?

Let's face it, if he stopped being a villain the first time, why can't he do it a second time? People like him need to be isolated, not allowed to return to school, but do not support him in any way, saying that he is not guilty of anything. People! He! Is guilty! This son of the rock not only damaged the material property of Paris, but also maimed many residents, almost killing them. But these scum with IQ below the baseboard apparently live in a rosy world. I feel a little sorry for them.

To top off the awful day, some random woman showed up, having watched too many superhero cartoons, wearing a tight suit and a yo-yo that defies the laws of physics.

No, seriously? She decided to show up only now? What did she do before? There are so many crimes and problems in the world, and she showed up only for some supervillain.Okay, fine, maybe she got her powers recently, but why is the government treating it so calmly, like it's normal. God, I'm so disappointed with this city.

And her suit. It's as if it was created to highlight her, to show her off. If she's a superhero, shouldn't she have clothes that will easily hide her, rather than make her stand out?

Further questions, as always, are about physics. What is she even holding her yo-yo to? Air? There aren't many things to grab onto, and most aren't meant to support her weight. Everything about her is an open mockery of the laws of nature.

Why the hell am I studying physics then if there is a living example of its uselessness!?

And when she gave that fucking speech to that fucking man with a cuckoo face, who imagined himself to be the Great Villain of the Century, the world seemed to stop. She was standing at such a good angle, her voice was so loud that everyone could hear, and the police seemed useless after her words. It even seemed to me that the purple dude himself was slightly blown away by her. What is he like... Strange? Yes, strange, to put it mildly.

Well, he has one plus, he surpasses the Calendar Man in delusionalness!

Okay, I get the point, but I'm not done yet. In this crazy show, there is another pawn with the determination to become a hero and help people, without even knowing how. HE JUST STUPIDLY FOLLOWS HER WORDS, CAN'T HE TURN ON HIS BRAIN HIMSELF? OR HAS HIS SUBSCRIPTION TO SMART THOUGHTS ENDED?

There are no complaints about the color of his suit; black hides well in the shadows at night, and in everyday life it is more common than a red polka-dot suit. But... But his tail... How come his tail doesn't interfere with his movement? This appendage also makes him more vulnerable. I myself can grab this tail and pull it and that's it, goodbye, bye.

The funniest thing about him is that his weapon is a pipe from a vacuum cleaner. Or is it not a pipe? I don’t know what it is and how it can increase, and I don’t want to know.

Based on all this, I realized that Paris is not such a romantic place and it’s time to get the hell out of here.

It was with these thoughts and an ocean of determination that I went to the office of the mayor of Paris, aka Andre Bourgeois, aka my worthless father.

"No"

"What? What do you mean no? Are you kidding?"

The father's serious face did not waver. He was staring at me with such force with his dark gaze that I just wanted to get out of there and go to hell.

"No, young lady, you will stay in Paris with your father, period."

"You can't do that! Why did I work so hard, naming a thousand and one reasons why this city is complete shit?"

His tired sigh echoed and rebounded off the walls. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he changed his look from "I'm angry" to "I'm so tired of this rebellious child."

"Understand, darling, here, next to me, you are safe. I can give you anything you want, just snap my finger. And there? In other countries you will find yourself on foreign territory, where I will not be able to save you if anything happens."

What kind of daddy are you...

Hypocrite.

You act like you're cool, but as soon as something serious happens, you run with your heels flashing.Each time I understand more and more reasons for Audrey to leave you.

"Dad..."

"I don't want to hear any excuses, go to your room!"

How DARE he yell at me?

Gritting her teeth in anger, i turned around and quickly left, not wanting to be in her dad's company any longer.

Going back to college the next day was a terrible idea. Not only was I interrupted at the most interesting moment of my dream, but in the morning they also tortured me with hearts over the head of a small mouse and an emo rock. They just oozed that childish, innocent love that made me want to puke.

Another thing that happened was that the baker's daughter and Edri... Ahem... Ahem... Sorry. The baker's daughter and Adrien Agreste became friends. Well, or I just try to ignore her unblinking gaze at the blond.

But I'm more interested in what Adrian did to not only clear his reputation with the blue one, but also turn her from someone who doesn't know you into a rabid fan with stalker tendencies.

Can I have the instructions? This is not for me, it's for the dog. Just step by step, so that I know exactly what to do!

Okay, let's put jokes aside and think about more important issues. Firstly, these are ways to legally live in another country. I'm not an adult yet, they won't let me on the plane. My father doesn’t want to help me, Jean-Rousseau doesn’t have much power to organize a trip for me and withstand the mayor’s force. Lie about a class trip? He will believe it, but then I won’t be able to stay there for long. Running away is not an option, I am very dependent on my parents. Mostly in terms of money. Okay, I'll think about it the next time I have free time.

Another question I'm interested in is whether there will be another akumatized one? I had enough of walking minerals with stones, thank you, I don’t want such an experience again. We need to somehow protect ourselves from madhouse.

A call to class distracted me from my depressive thoughts.

Apparently I was wrong to think about another villain. Fucked Pygmalion effect! Or is it just a materialization of thoughts? Doesn't matter! Once again the whole day is ruined because of this impudent ragamuffin whose name I don’t know! Seriously, can you please show up every 2 months at least, not every day! I'll never finish college! And Paris will continue to suffer!

If I haven't gone crazy and everything I see is true, then with such frequent villains I will definitely go crazy! How do people tolerate this? Nobody, I repeat nobody, left the city after yesterday! This is so crazy!

Ладно, мне определенно нужно уйти, любыми необходимыми способами! Маленькая ложь никогда никому не повредит! Извините, отец, но моя шкура важнее наших отношений.

Masterlist

[eternalsams]

Headcanons I just came up with

Bradley can cook like a damn boss

Jake has two really bad vices. He has the occasional cigarette and a decent amount of good top shelf whiskey

Bob plays Scrabble

Mickey is a dancer (bro shakes ass)

Natasha is from a military family

Javy's favorite loony toon character was Wil. E. Coyote hence his call sign

Reuben really likes sandwiches (yes because he has the same name as a sandwich)

Pete wakes up and says "God has let me live another day again and I'm about to make it everyone's problem"

Penny at one point has ginger hair

Iceman hated the '86 Flyboys because they always would play Ice Ice Baby when it came out

Amelia is a band kid and I will die on this hill

Hondo has GREAT music taste

Cyclone has a sparsely furnished place

Warlock played D&D at some point in his life

imma add some more if you don't mind

Jake has a big fat crush on Michelle Pfeiffer

Mickey loves watching Bluey

Bob has the neatest handwriting (including Natasha)

I don't agree with your Coyote origin story for his callsign he got his callsign because he ate raw meat once when he drank too much

Jake is dyslexic. period. he's always been a math kid

Bradley loves learning new languages but he's terrible at remembering

Jake comes from a loving country family that owns a ranch. he then knows how to ride a horse but never told the rest of the daggers. he misses riding when he's in California

Mickey is a great cook, he learned everything from his dad

Coyote is an orphan, so when he met Jake at the Top Gun program (he's younger than Jake) he felt like he found the brother he never had

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH