#god i hate this coloring from the bottom of my heart but i can't look at these anymore 🥲

[yesloulou]

All Access | Miami '24 🇺🇸🌴

[itsyapeepkiri]

Hey @deerspherestudios!!! I finally finished the drawing!!!!! It only took 20 hours... but I hope you like it!!

This is based on Day 1, ending 1 of Mushroom Oasis, so spoilers if you don't know about it.

I'll add tags, but TW for death, bone, decomposition, decay (both human and animal), blood if you squint, body horror (???). Also, this will break your heart, so sorry, but the art gods demand tears today.

TWs UNDER CUT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Some tid bits about this project in no particularly order:

- I started this cause I thought about what it would look like if Mychael had found MC a little bit sooner (than the few weeks that it took for the body to decompose). Plus, I wanted to brush up on my anatomy skills.

- The trees were based on the image of in deerspherestudios's answer to an ask about Mychael's vision, specifically the 'bottom eyes closed' one.

- The cat is an orange tabby cause I thought it goes nice with canon green collar. The MC is based on deerspherestudios actual MC ref sheet. Mychael is deerspherestudios whole-heartedly, but I did use the outdoor outfit we see him in in the 2nd day.

- I would image that MC's and Mychael's bags are just off the page, but I just forgot to add them.

- The tree 2nd from the right was not supposed to be there. Or at least I don't think it was. I don't know how that tree got there, I swear. 😅

- My 1st hour, which ended up being a failed attempt, was based on my sleeping sibling. Then, when they woke up and took a look at my work, they mentioned that the hand was as big as the entire chest somehow. That's when I said screw it, tried to find some reference images, and ended up spending the next 1 and a half hours on a 3-D model website trying to force the pre-made models to bend to my will. After that, it went pretty smoothly. *cries in hating perspective*

- I used BiC Mark it permanent markers, an ultra fine point red Sharpie, a Sakura Pigma Micron 005 pen, some Prismacolor Premier colored pencils for details, and a random school issued yellow pencil and pink eraser to make this.

- You can't really see it, but the flowers that Mychael is holding are forget-me-nots, as a reference to the field he would have taken MC to on the 2nd day. They are also in the rough shape of a broken heart. 💔

- On that note, the mushrooms coming out of MC's eye are also shaped like a heart.

- And yes, our soft boi is crying... 😢

[eyesthatroll]

LATE (18+)

pairing: luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: smut w/o plot / 18+

warning(s): penetration (no mention of a condom, wrap it before you tap it though!), cursing, not really edited because i honestly hate looking at it (lol)

word count: 1.0k

author's note: gosh, i forgot how actually terrible i am at writing smut! i don't even know how to feel about this, though i am leaning towards hating it. please let me know if this is horrible, so i can delete it and never attempt to write smut again ! lol.

"Babe! Can you help me with my zipper?" Your voice echoes through the bathroom, one hand clutching the satin fabric to your chest, while the other carefully applies a shade of red lipstick that perfectly complemented your Devil's red, floor-length slip dress.

Luke's presence fills the room almost instantly, his imposing figure casually leaning against the door frame. His eyes, heavy with desire, begin their journey at your feet and gradually travel upward, finally meeting your expectant gaze. A faint hint of a hungry smile plays on his lips as his teeth lightly graze over his lower lip.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me? We're running late," you remind, glancing at Luke in the mirror's reflection. He steps closer, his presence enveloping you from behind. His calloused hands trace a tantalizing path up the backs of your arms, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake, before crossing to the middle of your back to delicately pull the zipper of your dress upward. You inhale sharply as the warmth of his breath tickles your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

You clear your throat, an attempt to divert your attention from the growing desire that your boyfriend was igniting within you. Gazing at him through the mirror, you absorb his appearance: a crisp white dress shirt complemented by a bold red tie, harmonizing seamlessly with your dress. His black dress slacks hang casually over his hips, reminding you that he's in desperate need of a belt before you leave the house.

A warm smile graces your lips as you offer a compliment. "You look incredibly handsome, my love." The words slip off your tongue with ease, and you can't help but notice the lush redness that tinges Luke's cheeks. He tries to conceal it by turning his head to the side, but the hint of color lingers, adding a charming touch to his appearance.

"You look..." His voice trails off for a moment, as he struggles to formulate a sentence together. He emits a nervous laugh, his eyes locked on you. "God, you look incredibly sexy," he finally manages to say, his eyes burning with nothing but desire and adoration.

He places a delicate kiss on your shoulder blade, his lips trailing a path of light, open-mouthed kisses inching closer to your neck. You involuntarily crane your neck, a soft gasp escaping your lips as his mouth finally makes contact with your sweet spot, sending a shiver of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Luke..." You turn your body around to face him, and he steps closer, his large hands now resting on either side of the counter, effectively trapping you within his grasp. His head dips lower, ever so slightly, his eyes lock onto yours with an intensity that challenges your resolve, making your heart race with anticipation.

"Yeah, pretty girl?" His voice is like honey, sweet and sultry, teasing you to no end as he leans closer.

"We're gonna be late," you warn, trying to maintain your composure even as his proximity threatens to unravel your self-control.

He hooks a finger under your chin, gently lifting your face upward. "I only need five minutes." he murmurs.

Your lips meet his with a fiery urgency, a passionate collision that sets your senses ablaze. Your fingers clutch the nape of his neck, tugging at the soft strands of hair, and you sense the subtle curve of his lips into a satisfied smirk. Deepening the kiss, your teeth graze gently against his bottom lip, coaxing it to part, granting you access to the intimate dance of tongues. A sensual duel ensues as your tongues entertwine, a passionate battle for dominance, while his strong hands work their way up, gliding beneath the fabric of your dress, sending electrifying sensations through your body.

Your phone emits a sharp, urgent ping from the bedroom, a stark reminder of the pressing time constraint you're under. Your hands drop to his waist, your fingers fumbling with the button on his slacks. A groan of frustration reverberates through Luke's mouth as you can't seem to undo his pants. His calloused hands reach over yours, undoing his pants with practiced ease.

You pull his boxers down, and his cock springs against his abdomen, leaking with pre-cum and hardening by the moment. Luke's fingers push your lace panties to the side, and he attempts to slide a finger inside your dripping heat, but your hand slaps against his.

"No time." You pull away from him, using your hand to guide his cock inside of you, wincing slightly as he enters you with slow, long strokes.

Luke's head falls into your neck, profanities escaping his lips as he bucks into you. The small of your back repeatedly hits against the cold marble counter, adding a sinful affliction to your sustained pleasure, unrelenting with the promise of an imprint tomorrow.

"Fuck, you feel so good." He whimpers, one hand clutching the fabric of your dress, as the other reaches down to knead small, quick circles on your clit. A familiar burning builds up within your stomach, a pressure desperate for a release.

Luke's strokes become sloppy as he bottoms out, his pace quickening with a sense of urgency.

"I'm cumming, Luke, I-" Your words are cut off as Luke pounds into you, falling into your body with a pornographic moan.

He's blithering into your neck, an incoherent string of obscenities and praises as he fucks his orgasm into you.

Your hands have a tight grasp on the counter as you try to ignore the burning in your legs, remaining still as you could while Luke uses your body to fulfill his needs.

With a hiss, he lets his cock slip out of you, and a whimper escapes your lips at the emptiness you now felt. Luke's warm hands swiftly encircle your hips, gracefully hoisting you up on the cold counter top.

"I think we're late." You mumble.

Luke crosses over to the cabinet, a soft chuckle escaping his lips at your comment, as he retrieves a clean washcloth, intent to clean you up. Returning to your side, he lets the cloth soak in warm water, his words carrying a hint of indifference, "I couldn't care less about being on time."

[queen-dahlia]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐈𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?

»»———-Main Story 1 & 2┋Sweet┋Premium┋Epilogue———-««

They're about to make out, but nvm

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation

•• ━━━━━ ••Chapter 3, part 1•• ━━━━━ ••

Gilbert: "You think I can't kill him because we're in Rhodolite?"

Gilbert: "Hahaha, that's sweet. I'm good at hiding evidence, aren't I?"

(Prince Gilbert is... serious.)

(At this rate, really——)

Gilbert: "Now, which one do you want me to kill first?"

Emma: "Please don't kill them!"

I quickly shouted, and his blood-colored eye reflected mine.

Gilbert: "If I don't kill them, you'll be the one who gets killed."

Gilbert: "Or are you willing to risk your life to save those who sold you out?"

Gilbert: "Haha, you are as broad-minded as a god. I can never imitate you."

(...I may have been betrayed.)

(What I thought was friendship may have actually been very calculated.)

(That doesn't mean I want them to get hurt.)

(It is true that I enjoyed the time I spent with Lady Louise, and it is also true that I consider her a friend.)

I look back at the Count, who looks pissed off and unfocused.

Emma: "... Please. Please let me go."

Emma: "Prince Gilbert is not the kind of person who can be held hostage in a situation like this."

Emma: "If you let me go, I won't let him kill you. So——"

Count: "...S-shut up!"

The blade of the knife grazes my throat.

(Oh no. … I think he's losing his cool.)

Gilbert: "Are you okay, little rabbit?"

Emma: "Not good!"

Gilbert: "Yeah, but time is up."

Gilbert: "My prey is mine and mine alone. Hmm, who's the real villain here for you?"

The refreshing smile, which even gave me a sense of calmness, was gone.   //   The refreshing smile, which even gave a sense of coolness, was gone.

(…No)

•• ━━━━━ ••Chapter 3, part 2•• ━━━━━ ••

Gilbert-sama pulls out a tube-shaped object from his pocket and rolls it on the floor, from which a white smoke comes out vigorously.

Smoke filled the small room like a haze.

(I can't see anything!)

As soon as I took a stance, my body was pushed to the side.

Fortunately, I was caught by a soft object on the floor that was covered in a linen cloth.

But the shackles were still in place, and it was difficult for me to even stand up.

(......Hate)

(I hate it.)

Emma: "Prince Gilbert!"

The sound of something falling to the floor drowned my screams.

The more bloodlust I felt, the more my heart complained of a bad feeling.

Emma: "Prince Gilbert!"

I crawled forward on the floor, even a little, and soon the smoke that had robbed me of my sight cleared.

What I saw ahead of me was a jet-black cloak that did not even show the returned blood.

I saw ahead of me a jet-black cloak with no visible blood.

At Prince Gilbert's feet, the Count is huddled with a knife in his hand.

Further ahead was the image of Lady Louise with her bottom on the floor and tears in her eyes.

Gilbert: "What is it, little bunny?"

It seemed that he had heard me calling his name, and he turned to look at me.

But his eyes did not reflect me; instead, they were focused on the sword lying on the floor.

Emma: "Please stop."

Gilbert: "Even though I've done terrible things to you, I will still protect you."

Emma: "Rhodolite has laws that don't tolerate murderers."

Gilbert: "If I invade this country, there will be no law, will there?"

Prince Gilbert picks up the sword and kneels down beside me, who is lying on the floor awkwardly.

He grabbed me by the chin and turned my face upward.

Gilbert: "Besides, I think you're mistaken."

•• ━━━━━ ••Chapter 3, part 3•• ━━━━━ ••

Prince Gilbert picks up the sword and kneels down beside me, who is lying on the floor awkwardly.

He grabbed me by the chin and turned my face upward.

Gilbert: "Besides, I think you're mistaken."

Gilbert: "Why should I listen to you?"

Emma: "…!"

Gilbert: "It's up to me whether I listen or not. Your "don't" is not even begging for your life."

(... I've been caught off guard lately.)

(I looked only at Prince Gilbert's kind face, and I felt paralyzed.)

(Perhaps I had almost forgotten that this man is a "beast.")

Prince Gilbert lets go of me and is about to go to Lady Louise with the sword in his hand.

(But that doesn't mean I should give up!)

I crawl on the floor and grab the cloak as hard as I can before the jet-black figure leaves.

Prince Gilbert did not shake me off, but stopped again.

Emma: "... We're friends."

Gilbert: "Friend? The woman who sold you out?"

Gilbert: "Haha, you have an interesting definition of a friend, don't you, little rabbit?"

Emma: "I can't speak for others, since you are the one who won't listen to your "friends"."

Gilbert: "Not quite as crazy as you define it, is it?"

("Crazy."……)

Emma: "As you know, no one goes near a young lady who is favored by the Prince of Obsidian."

Emma: "I get cold stares, but no one ever really talks to me properly."

Gilbert: "I know, poor thing."

Prince Gilbert smiles like it's someone else's problem.

Emma: "But Lady Louise treated me normally."

Emma: "Whatever her motives were behind it, she was one of the few people who saw me for who I am."

(Regardless of whether I was the favorite of the Prince of Obsidian or not...)

(She was the only person I could talk to without hesitation, sharing what we liked with each other.)

Emma: "I don't think all of our time together was a lie."

Emma: "I want to believe her even if she betrays me, and I don't want her to get hurt..."

Emma: "And as I've said before, I believe friends start by having trust in them."

Louise: "——Ah."

Emma: "Please don't take any more from me."

•• ━━━━━ ••Chapter 3, part 4•• ━━━━━ ••

The more words I say, the colder the blood-colored eye that looks down on me is.

A chill crawled up my spine, and I almost shivered, but I had no intention of backing down.

Emma: "In fact, why should I listen to you, Prince Gilbert?"

(If Prince Gilbert won't listen to me, I'm not going to hold back either.)

I clutch the cloak so tightly, never wanting to let it go.

Gilbert: "——I see, you sound just plain stupid rather than naive."

Gilbert: "But, well, if you're going to beg me so badly, I don't blame you."

Gilbert: "If you're willing to take responsibility on behalf of those two, then I won't kill them."

Emma: "I'll take it."

There was no hesitation.

(No matter what demands come my way, it is better than having a friend die in front of me.)

Prince Gilbert just laughs.

Gilbert: "I'll show you that I'm on a different level than a third-rate villain."

══════════════════

I was carried by Prince Gilbert, still tied to shackles, into an empty guest room.

He finds the first aid kit with such deftness that I suspect he might have been in the mansion.

He silently tends to the wound on my neck.

The process of applying the medicine and bandaging was so familiar that it was comparable to that of a doctor.

Emma: "Thank you."

Gilbert: "You're welcome."

(Gentle yet cold, cold yet gentle...)

I still don't know Prince Gilbert's true face.

Emma: "By the way, these shackles..."

Gilbert: "There's no key."

Emma: "... I'm in trouble."

Gilbert: "Well, you don't need one to remove it."

The words "he can remove it" but "he won't remove it" mean that I have to stay like this for the time being.

When I gave up, Prince Gilbert took me in his arms and sat down on a chair.

He placed me on his lap, and his red eye came much closer.

Emma: "Prince Gilbert!?"

Cold fingertips caress my cheeks with a terrifyingly gentle touch.

Gilbert: "Now, little bunny. How do you beg for your life?"

•• ━━━━━ ••Chapter 3, part 5•• ━━━━━ ••

Prince Gilbert took me in his arms and sat down on a chair.

He placed me on his lap, and his red eyes came much closer.

Emma: "Prince Gilbert!?"

Cold fingertips caress my cheeks with a terrifyingly gentle touch.

Gilbert: "Now, little bunny. How do you beg for your life?"

(It's like he's testing me for something.)

Prince Gilbert won't take his eyes off me.

(If I get the answer wrong, I'm going to turn right back to where we were just now.)   //   (If I get the answer wrong, I'll be right back where I was before.)

(I have to think...)

Emma: "Prince Gilbert, you were going to hurt Louise, weren't you?"

Gilbert: "It's kind of me to hurt her."

Emma: "...I will take the punishment you would have done to Lady Louise."

Gilbert: "Hmm?"

Emma: "I'm saying I'll take her place."

Gilbert: "A substitute."

Emma: "Boil me, burn me, do whatever you want."

(I don't know what he will do, but this is the only thing that comes to my mind right now.)

"Do whatever I say" is most likely insufficient for Prince Gilbert.

I am Belle and could be approached with conditions that could potentially be harmful to the country.   //   I am Belle, and there is a possibility that I could be approached with conditions that might cause harm to the country.

But that doesn't mean I know exactly what Prince Gilbert wants.

I had no choice but to propose an equivalent exchange: corporal punishment.

Gilbert: "…Terrible."

Emma: "Terrible?"

Gilbert: "I can't believe you think I'm a lunatic who takes pleasure in hurting anyone and everyone."

Emma: "I never said anything like that!"

Emma: "… I just can't think of any other way to take responsibility."

Gilbert: "Absolute obedience."   //   "Total submission."

(I knew you would say that.)

I wanted to avoid that, but Prince Gilbert was relentless.

Gilbert: "It's the price of life, so why shouldn't it be?"

Gilbert: "My orders are absolute. You must do what I say, even if it means betraying Rhodolite."

Emma: "... I can't betray it."

Gilbert: "Then let's go kill that young lady."

Gilbert: "No!"

Gilbert: "You're so selfish."

He stroked my cheek as if tickling me, and pinched it lightly.

Gilbert: "In Obsidian, we're still making concessions."

Gilbert: "Whether you do or don't do what I ask, I'm listening to what you have to say."

Emma: ". . . . ."

Gilbert: "Look, we have to think beyond absolute obedience."

(I'm in the position of "asking," so I can't expect equal negotiation.)

In this mansion, it would be difficult to ask for a third party's help.

In other words, there is only one path to choose from the beginning.

Emma: "...I can only appeal to Prince Gilbert's conscience."

Gilbert: "I don't have anything like that."

Emma: "No, there is."

(If he really didn't have anything to call a conscience, Prince Gilbert wouldn't have helped me in the first place.)

( He should have killed them all right there and then.)

The mercenaries and the count had blood on them, but they all seemed to be alive.

Although he has a ruthless side, there should also be a gentler side to him.

(I don't believe in the prince of an enemy country, but if you start by believing in my "friend"...)

(Prince Gilbert is no exception.)

Emma: "So... how about this?"

Putting aside my shame, I embrace his cold body with my shackles on.

I tried to convey warmth as much as possible, and I did not hesitate.

Emma: "Prince Gilbert always has a cold body."

Gilbert: "Seriously?"

Emma: "I'm serious."

Gilbert: "If so, I'm in trouble."

Sigh. His breath touches my skin.

Gilbert: "Not bad."

My heart was beating loudly, considering the circumstances of the situation.   //   The situation made my heart beat loudly.

Gilbert: "But a hug isn't enough. You have too little to lose."

(…If you ask me, it is indeed true.)

Gilbert: "Well... how about this one as well?"

When I moved my body slightly away, Prince Gilbert pecked me on the lips.

(No way...)

Gilbert: "It doesn't matter if it's in front of a prince or a servant; if I ask for it, you will kiss me——"

Gilbert: "I'd say that's a good enough balance."

Emma: ". . . . ."

Gilbert: "What do you think?"

(Heck, by the looks of it, it's not exactly a kiss on the cheek or anything cute like that.)

Each time his lips are pressed against mine, my palpitations become more and more intense.

(What should I do...)

(Even though he is not my lover, and I'm not even sure if he's my friend or not.)

Nevertheless, it is an equivalent exchange because I have something to lose as well.

I don't feel there is any more compromise.

(If only there wouldn't be so much blood.) **

When I nodded, Prince Gilbert pointed his finger at his own lips.

Gilbert: "Then hurry up."

(Why is the consideration a kiss in the first place?)

(It's strange in many ways, but... this is also to protect the people I care about.)

My stomach clenched, and I gradually brought my face closer to his—— // I gradually brought my face closer to his——

???: "Lady Emma!"

(... Huh.)

[cant-think-of-clever-name]

Ranking 2023 grammys outfits, because I can.

I'm gonna try to be non biased towards some of these celebs but I can't promise anything

Taylor Swift

I think they were going for a starry look here but idk if I'd say they pulled it off. The cut is pretty much an average gen z prom dress. Pretty but nothing spectacular. Mid in its purest form. 4/10 gets knocked down a point because I hate midriff clothes just looking at them makes me cold.

Harry Styles

Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars. Who let this man cook. 0/10 it looks like a homophobic caricature of a gay farmer from the 1800s

Mary J Blige

Simple, elegant, sexy. Very good dress. However while I'm sure it looks better in person all the pictures make the sequins look like bubble wrap. I love the 60s sci fi vibe though. I love the hip holes but much like midriffs they also make me cold. 7.5/10

Sam Smith, Kim Petras, and... Violet Chacki?

I can say from the bottom of my heart I was not expecting Violet to be here. *insert audio of nicki minaj saying "ariana what are you doing here!"* I can't recognize the other ppl besides sam, Kim, and violet tho. Sorry.

The whole ensemble reminds me of the album cover for In The Moments greatest hits. For that they're already ahead of the game. For Kim's dress I don't like those kinds of ruffles on dresses for adults, they always struck me as somewhat Childish in nature. However I love the see through material attached to the bottom and the necklace. Violets outfit is simple but the tail is amazing. Sam looks like a mix of a pimp, and a victorian mourner. I love it, it's so gaudy in the best ways. All together the crew gets a 9/10 for me. Losses a point because they are blending with the carpet.

Cardi B

Offset is there too but all I can say about his is that I love the pearls. 8/10 for him.

Cardi has this wavy blue outfit and I know this is a controversial opinion on tumblr but sometimes... in a select few circumstances... Avant garde fashion is good. In this case I like it. The striking navy blue mixed with the waves that have this beautiful organic flow to them. Vv nice. 8/10

Bebe Rexha

Sweet baby Jesus thank you lord. This is amazing. I love this. It's elegant. Its cute. It's both modest and sexy. The color is vibrant but not glaring. The folds are intricate. The GLOVES. God this is just everything I wanted. And need I mention the HAIR? Bebe went full southern doll mixed with marilyn monroe on this and I couldn't be happier. 10/10.

[resi4skz]

From Brush to Heart (a bang chan fanfic) CHAPTER 14

Pairings: Bang Chan/Rebecca(OC), Han/Luna(OC) Genre: Romcom

I'm applying the last touches of makeup on Chan's face when I feel his fingers rubbing up and down up my leg. I look down and see it's his left hand where no one can see him. I glance up at him with a cocked eyebrow. He just winks at me, giving me a toothy smile making me almost turn into a puddle on the floor. "Channie!" I whisper through my face mask. "What if someone sees?"

He shrugs his shoulders, withdrawing his fingers. "I'll say there was something on your jeans."

I snort. "My god, Bang Chan-ssi. Where do you come up with such lies?"

He grins, winking at me again. I blush behind the mask. It was our official first day as a couple, though no one knows about us yet. He and I decided to keep it low for now till we were comfortable enough to tell everyone. It was also end of March so their schedules was fully packed as they were preparing for the next comeback in April. 

Smiling, I turn around and grab my water bottle, taking a sip as Channie joined the other members. I was tidying up the brushes and eye pallets when someone cleared their throat from behind. Turning around, I see it's one of the makeup artists standing, with a bag in her. I think her name was Kim Da Rim. "I made cupcakes and wanted to share it everyone, including the staff," she says giving me bag. 

"Oh," I say, eyeing the bag as I take it. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," she replies. "Say, is Bang Chan treating you well?"

"He is. Why do you ask?" I ask. What a weird question to ask a fellow staff.

"Nothing. I've just heard that he's pretty hard to handle."

"No, he's pretty down to earth kind of man." I glance inside the bag. Definitely cupcakes. Chocolate to be exact, the same color of the dead rat I saw this morning. I still haven't told Chan about that yet.

"Do you want to have lunch together? It will give us time to get to know each other."

"Sure." The sudden feeling of dread erupts in my gut and I can't seem to understand why. Because why does my instinct tell me to run? I quickly shoot a message to Chan.

R: channie, please send one of the boys to the staff room after lunch

C: sure but why?

R: explain later.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, so that's why your korean is so good!" Da Rim chuckles as she bites into her sandwich. 

Meanwhile, I take a bite out of the lasagna Luna made the previous night. It was delicious. "Yes, all thanks to my best friend giving me the motivation."

"I see."

I was finding her very weird at this point. I don't know why but she was giving me bad vibes. As I finish my lunch, I pack up the leftovers and put it back in the fridge to take it back home when I get off work. As I'm about to walk out of the staff room, Da Rim comes running. "Let's go back together."

As much as I hated the feeling in my gut, I nodded. And now we were walking back to the make-up room when she stops me. "So, do you have a boyfriend?"

I almost choke on my own spit. "W-why do you ask?"

She chuckles, hand on her mouth as she does. "It's just that you're always around the boys and wondered if your boyfriend would ever be jealous about that."

"I don't have a boyfriend," I reply. Channie, I'm sorry!

"Oh?" She takes a step closer making me take a step back. "A little birdie told me that there's something going  on with you and Bang Chan." She takes another step.

"You're greatly mistak-" I feel her hands on my shoulders and push me, rather hard. My eyes widen as my body flails before I'm in the air, going down. I now realized that there were stairs underneath me and that this was going to hurt very badly. My eyes catches her smirking before she walks away when my ribs makes contact with the stairs and I roll down. Somewhere along the way, I felt a sharp pain in my right ankle. 

I groan when I finally reach the bottom and instantly feel the pain radiating through my entire body. I try to get up but the sudden sharp pain shoots right to my ankle and ribs making it harder for me to breathe. "Fuck." Leaning on left arm, I put all my energy to sit up and catch my breath. Oh, that bitch. Wait till I get my hands on her. Just you fucking wait, Da Rim.

"Noona?" 

I snap my head up and smile. "Hannie."

"Oh my god, noona!" He yells sprinting towards me. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Do I tell him that it was Da Rim who pushed me down the stairs? I glance up at him before I spoke. "I slipped. And I think I sprained my ankle."

"Shit. Okay, stay here," he says as he runs and disappear around the corner. 

"Ow," I hiss in pain and put a hand over my ribs. Dammit, I'm going to feel it tomorrow morning. Then I hear sudden footsteps coming my way, Han and Chan coming in view.

"Becca." 

I want to cry and crawl in a hole. It's our first day as a couple and he sees me at my most vulnerable state. "Hey, guys." 

They both sprint towards me with Chan immediately kneeling on front of me. "You okay?"

The worries in his eyes is enough for me to shake my head. "No. I think I sprained my ankle and my ribs hurt."

"Han-ah, help her get on my back," he orders and Han helps me get on Chan's back so I'm piggybacking him. "Hold on." He hoists me up and walks down the hall where his studio is. 

Once inside, he gently puts me down on the leather couch. "Han, get some ice, please."

As Han leaves to go get ice, Chan sits beside me and lifts my leg, gently on his lap. I wince in pain as he takes my shoe and sock off to inspect my ankle. "Well, good news. It's not as swollen so you might be able to walk on it. But icing will help with the swelling and pain."

"Okay."

Han comes back with an ice pack and Chan immediately puts it on my ankle. I sigh at the relief the cold gives me. "Who was it?" Chan asks.

"Hmm?"

"Becca, who was it that pushed you?" He asks again.

Without looking at him, I answer. "No one."

"I'm going to let the staff know," Han says as he leaves.

"Baby," Chan spoke. "Gwenchana?"

I glance at him and I realize this whole time, he was looking at me. I also realized he looked scared, like he almost lost something. But I was glad he didn't ask me the question again. "I'm okay, Chan. Just a bit sore." Which was true. I was pretty sore. But he keeps staring at me like I'll break. "Channie, I really am okay."

He grabs my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine as his thumb softly rubs the back of my hand. "So much for first day as a couple, huh?"

He laughs softly. "Well, you did say you'll be mine."

I blush at his statement, touching my cheeks with my hand. I let out a small gasp when he grabs my hand. But he's just staring at me, with those brown eyes I fell for. "What?"

"You're so adorable," he says smiling, showing those dimples. He raises my hand to his mouth, giving it a kiss, light as a feather. "Becca, you're red as a tomato." My eyes widen and I yank my hand back, covering my face while he just laughs at my misery. 

I glare at him and give him a playful nudge as he re-positions the ice pack on my ankle. "Bang Chan-ssi. Since when did you become so lovey dovey?"

"Yah," he says as he glances at me. "What's with the honorifics?"

"Waeyo? Shireoyo?" 

"When are you gonna call me something else other than my stage name?"

I shrug, wanting to hide my smile. "What should I call you then? How about Mr. Bang Christopher Chan?" He blinks a couple times before his ears turn bright red as a tomato, just like his cheeks. "Now, who's face is red as a tomato?"

"Aish," he rubs his ears in frustration. I yank his arm down as I cup his chin and press a kiss on his already reddened cheek. He turns his head, facing me. "What was that for?"

"What, I can't be affectionate with my boyfriend?" 

He smiles. "Boyfriend, huh?"

I nod as I giggle but wince as sharp pain shoots through my rib. "Aish, shib-" I purse my lips before I could let a swear word out. 

But he laughs, his squeak escaping his mouth. "Babe, you seriously are adorable."

The door burst open, making both of us jump. We both look up and see Yunji. "Unnie," I spoke. 

"Yah, gwenchana?" She asks, looking worried.

"Ah, yes. Nothing major," I replied smiling. 

"She's got a sprained ankle and bruised ribs," Chan chimes in. "I think she should take a few days off to rest."

"But I-"

"He's right," she cuts me off. "You've been granted 2 weeks off. Rest up."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

*LUNA'S POV*

I can't wait to go home and finally be able to see my best friend who I haven't seen since last week as she has been healing from the fall she took at worm. Which I'm pretty certain she didn't just 'trip' and fall down the stairs. I knew she lied Chan and the guys but I knew she was pushed. So when I asked her, she told me. Just you wait, Kim Da Rim. Karma is waiting for you.

I walk in the apartment to find it quiet. Too quiet. "Becca?" No reply. Odd. I walk into my room and quickly change into more comfier clothes. Did she go out? I spot her phone on the kitchen table. Okay, she's NEVER without her phone. My head whips to the bathroom. "No no no no." I sprint to the bathroom and swing open the door. My heart drops. 

There lays Rebecca on the floor, with a huge gash on her forehead. Unconscious. "Oh my god, Becca!" I drop to my knees and cradle her head on my arm. "Becca!" My brain finally clicks and take my phone out of my hoodie pocket, I quickly dial 119. "Ah, ne. Please. My friend is unconscious. I need an ambulance." When they ask for the address, I give it to them as tears start rolling down my cheeks. "Please hurry. She's bleeding from her forehead."

"The paramedics are 2 mins away. Please stay on the line till they arrive." 

The next 2 minutes was the longest 2 minutes of my life. Please. Not her. She's my best friend. My sister. The bell rings and I let them inside, leading them to the bathroom. They ask me a bunch of questions regarding how I found her, what time I found her, etc. "Okay, we're going to take her to Seoul Hospital. You can come with us or follow us there if you'd like." 

I tell them that I'll follow them since I wanted to pack a bag for her, if she had to stay the night. So I quickly pack a bag, putting anything necessary things tnat she would need. As I start heading out, I grab her phone and the car keys. All the while saying a prayer. Praying she's okay. 

*15 mins later* 

I don't think I've driven the car that fast anywhere before. The way I dodged so many cars on the way to the hospital. Running inside, I tell the nurse Becca's name. She guides me to the room. I thank her and as she leaves, I stare at the door. Wiping my eyes and face, I slide open the door and close it behind me. Then I see her laying there on the bed. Fresh tears fall down my cheeks as I walk closer to her. The nurse had told me that the doctor had stitched up her forehead and she may wake up soon. 

I fish out my phone and quickly type a text to Han letting him know about the situation. I sit on the chair beside the bed and hold her hand. "Becca, you better wake up." I hold her hand and lay my head down, closing my eyes. 

*Some time later*

I stir awake and jolt up, sitting as I look at Becca. Who is still unconscious. Damn. I hear a faint noise coming from her. "Becca?" I watch as she slowly opens her eyes and glances around till they land on me. "Oh my god, you're awake!" Thank the heavens.

"What...what happened? Where am I?" 

"You're in the hospital. Do you know remember anything?" I ask, wiping my cheeks.

"Last thing I remember is I was in the bathroom and then..... nothing." 

"I'm going to let the nurse know," I say as I stand up. "Don't move." 

*BECCA'S POV*

"Alright. Your vitals looks good. Just make sure to take it easy for a few days and come back in 2 weeks to get the stitches out." The doctor smiles at me and signs my discharge papers. "And if you need something for the pain, I'll write a prescription for that as well."

"Thanks, doc," I say as he hands me the prescription paper. "I have a an extra two pair of eyes to make sure I take the meds." I glance over at Luna, who narrows her eyes at me. 

"Alright. Sounds good. You're free to leave whenever," he says, taking his leave.

I turn to Luna, who's not looking at me with arms crossed. "Alright, look. I'm sorry I scared you and I know I should've called you but I didn't have my phone with me."

"Becca, you scared the shit out of me!" She yells as she walks closer to the bed I was sitting on. "I didn't know what to do when I saw you laying like that."

"Hey," I say. "I'm okay. It's just a few stitches." I wrap my arms around her, giving her a tight hug. "I'm sorry to have given you such a fright." She wraps her arms around me tightly. 

"I told Han."

"Okay. It's good that you did," I release my arms and smile. "Now let's get out of here. I'm hungry." She laughs and nods. 

*30mins later*

"Man, I could really go for a pizza right about now," I say as I climb the last step of the stairs and look at Luna who's holding the door open for me.

"I'll order when we get inside because there's someone very eager to see you," Luna smiles as I give her a puzzling look and walk inside our apartment. As I walk closer, I hear two very hushed voices and two very familiar figures coming into the view as I come to stop in the living room.

Han is the first one to notice me. "Noona." 

Chan whips his head towards me. From where I'm standing, he looks like he had been....crying? "Guys? What are you doing here?"

"Noona, are you okay?" Han asks as he walks closer.

"The doctor gave her the okay but told her to take it easy for a few days," Luna replies as she stands beside me. 

"Hannie, I'm okay," I smile and glance behind him at my boyfriend, his vibrant hair on display.

Luna clears her throat. "I'm gonna order pizza. Wanna help me order, Han?" 

"Absolutely," Han replies as I watch them walk into her room, closing the door behind them. They're totally whipped for each other.

As I turn my head back, Chan is standing in front of me. But I don't get a chance to say anything as he enevelops me in a tight hug. I feel his body shaking as soft sobs come from him. I wrap my around him and rub my hands up and down his back. "Chan, I'm okay," I whisper, loud enough for him to hear. "I'm here."

"I thought," he chokes out. "I thought I lost you."

I push him back. He's crying. I cup his cheeks with both of my hands. "Baby, no. No crying otherwise you're going to make me cry." I wipe the tear that falls on his cheek. "I really am okay. I just need some rest, that's all." 

"Jinja gwenchana?" 

"Na jinja jinja gwenchana," I smile as I squish his cheeks with my hands.

"Yah," he says through his squished cheeks. I giggle and slide my arms around his torso hugging him tight, my cheek resting on his heart. 

His heart was beating at a steady pace. I close my eyes as his arms go around me, securing me tightly. "You gave me quite a scare."

"I know. I remember turning around so I could get my phone from the kitchen but I blacked out. Doctor said it was a vasovagal reaction,' I look up at him, pouting. "And I ended up hitting the bathroom counter when I fell.'

He smiles widely before pinching my cheeks. "Ah!" I rub my cheeks, while pouting. He giggles and cups my cheeks, pecking my lips. My eyes widen at his sudden display of affection. 

"Jinja gwiyeowo," he says as claims my lips again. I close my eyes and grip his shirt as I reciprocate his affection. His hand threads through my long wavy hair, careful of my forehead. 

A voice clearing their throat breaks us apart. "Well, looks like you two are having fun," Luna says as she walks into the kitchen. "The pizza will be here in 20 minutes."

I glance at Chan, who glances back at me and I stifle a giggle. "I'm going to sit and watch some TV." I sit on the couch, Chan takes his seat beside me, I turn on the TV while Han and Luna sit adjacent of us. Chan immediately intertwines my hand and rests our hands on his thigh as I lay my head on his shoulder. 

The next thing I know is I'm being picked up and placed on my bed. "Huh? What? What's going on?" I say groggily. Why do my eyes feel so heavy?

Chan chuckles. "It's okay, babygirl. Go to sleep." He gently lays my head on the pillow and I feel him tuck me in before he kisses my forehead and silently walks away leaving me to slip into my dreams of a blue haired boy. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: sooooooo.....who here likes the fluff between Becca & Channie? Chapter 14 will be a while so please be patient with me~

Korean words:

Waeyo? Shireoyo? = Why? Don't like it? Gwenchana = are you okay/alright? Unnie = sis (to a respectable person) Jinja gwiyeowo = really cute Jinja gwenchana? = Are you really okay/alright? Na jinja jinja gwenchana = I'm really, really okay/alright

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7 | CH 8 | CH 9 | CH 10 | CH 11 | CH 12 | CH 13

[kittsyspaw]

⌇Hajun (Joker) x F!Reader x Wooin (1)

Push me down, hold me down. Spit in my mouth while you turn me on I wanna take your light inside. Dim me down, snuff me out. Hands on my neck while you push it out and I'm screaming out „Give me tough love” ୨୧

╰┈➤ One of the Girls- The Weeknd

WARNINGS !! : Best friends to possible lovers, love triangle, mature themes, cringey jokes and fights, Wooin possible yandere behavior, angst kinda, Y/n rejection phobia (AGAIN, IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ) and this isn't edited.

Your ears were deafening the screams and cheers of the people surrounding the chained ring, uninterested, you sat on a couch that was placed a bit far, some feet away from the huge bar that also collected some buyers.

They were betting again.

The screen of your phone reflected in your eyes – you were playing your game peacefully, ignoring whoever was getting punched or who was punching.

The person next to you, your childhood best friend, who was also the one who convinced you to join the 'Sabbath crew' had his legs wide open, scaring any boy who wanted to make a small talk with you with those snake-like eyes of his, sucking on a lemon flavored lollipop.

"I know exactly you're not playing Roblox right now, are you?"

"...no, I'm not."

Wooin raised an eyebrow at you, scooting closer to look at the screen, scoffing when you quickly backed away, hiding your phone from exposure.

"You're playing Royale high!?"

"So what?! You wanna play with me or what? The only reason why I'm here is to wait for Joker."

The boy with piercings crossed rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you towards his body.

You tsked when hearing the loud announcers voice boom in your ears, a ringing beating in your ears after a victory tune played off.

„Flawless knockout!! What else did we expect from The JOKER”

"Can he like hurry up??"

"He can't, he's a turtle."

"He's faster than you??"

"No??"

"Yes??"

Putting a leg over the other, you leaned your head back, regretting that decision immediately when the lights of the ceiling blinded you.

"I'm here."

"Thank god! I was losing braincells with this dude."

Wooin flinched at your sudden outburst, oh, Joker was already here, he was grinning, until he realized what you just said.

"Wow! What an amazing friend you are, Y/n."

A vein popped on his forehead as you turned around to look at your best friend, almost cracking your neck up at him.

He had baby blue colored hair, a scar running down from his bottom lip to his jaw and a tattoo under his eye, right, you loved getting lost in them for hours.

"Don't come here again, its too dangerous for you."

Joker took your chin between his thumb and index finger when you looked away, you were used to it, but it still made your heart skip a beat, panicking.

"But I wanted to see you."

"Don't I always visit you after?"

"..."

Wooins existence was completely ignored and he hated that, pinching your waist to make you turn your attention back on him–only to be met with a harsh slap on his shoulder.

It wasn't very effective but it made him laugh.

"Whatever, let's go before I pinch your ass next Y/n."

You were rethinking all of your decisions back then of befriending this motherfucker, seriously, he's so weird. The atmosphere didn't lighten one bit, oh yeah, Joker was still behind you guys, with his expressionless face.

"Are you finished Joker?"

"Maybe not him but I'm about to–"

A death stare made him smirk like crazy, Wooin loved that face of yours, it made him excited.

Why couldn't there be a black hole that just swallows Wooin forever and shuts him up? You are 100% sure that the world would come to its peace if he, for once held his mouth.

You liked Wooin more when he's on mute. Jk

"I'm done. come here Y/n"

"Yessir!"

Wrapping your arm around a more muscular one, Wooins face of jealousy was quickly replaced when you grabbed him by the hand so he tagged along.

୨୧

Joker was munching on his red apple, the juice of the fruit exploding in his oral cavity with each bite he took, his eyes were draped on your figure, gossiping with Wooin in the front seat.

"Damn...she had prove too?"

"I know right?"

He swallowed– startled when you turned your head to look at him, at the fruit in his hand specifically, gasping. "Share some!"

"This was my last."

"Give me a bite."

He held up his tattooed arm, the apple in his hand and you wrapped your smaller hand around his wrist, taking a huge bite out of the red fruit.

Flabbergasted, Jokers lips but no words came out so he finished his snack off.

"Y/n. He allowed a bite. A bite. Half of the apple is gone. Please elaborate."

"Iwm hhgungry."

Wooin sighed, starting the engine of the car so he could go buy something for the three of you. "What do you guys want?"

"I love you so much I could literally smooch you right now. Get me a double Cheese burger and a large milkshake."

"Burgers."

Wow, its the personality switch for Wooin. Whatever, you were allowed to do that. "I expect my kiss." He left the car, getting inside the place.

"Joker."

"Hm?"

The male waited for you to turn around and lock eye contact with him. "You know what im thinking?" he stopped himself from smiling.

"Yeah."

"You drive."

He shook his head and you gave him a big, sad frown. "Let's wait for him to get us the food first, then we can leave without him."

Your face beamed, the boy still held no expression, maybe its the small things that you didnt notice... The way his eyes softened.

His large hand was placed ontop of your head, automatically matching the smirk on your own face. Partners in crime.

"He's back."

You looked in the direction Joker was gesturing to with his a simple glance of his eyes, it was none other than the black haired Wooin, holding plastics bags with one hand and a cup with the other.

"My Milkshake!"

You took it from him as he handed the bags over to the other person in the backseat. You sipped on your drink, moving your legs up and down happily.

"Let me try."

Was this Jokers revenge? You handed him the Milkshake receiving the food you told Wooin to bring you.

"Say aah."

The driver complied and you fed him some fries and Jokers eyes lit up. "Me too, I want fries."

୨୧

You all went to your apartment when tho you had no plan if letting them in, you allowed it just for today. "Touch anything and I'll kill you."

This was meant specifically for Wooin who had a habit of snooping and sniffing around your stuff like a damn dog.

The place wasn't too small or too big, it was perfect. You were met with a corridor that led to your living room where a punch bag sat from the ceiling.

It was for Joker but he set it up in your house because he wanted to teach you how to defend youself.

Joker made his was to the fridge, putting in the rest overs of the food and taking out three red-bulls, giving one to Wooin and the other for you.

"Here."

"Thanks babe"

You blew him a kiss, walking inside your room to change, not noticing the way his eyes lingered on you for too long until you shut the door of your room.

Wooin soon exited the bathroom just as you left your room. "So are you two sleeping over?" One agreed in he speed of light, cutting the other one off.

Guess who was who. "Then go fetch your clothes from my wardrobe, Wooin I'm warning you. Joker, baby, can you help me?"

This wasn't the first time they slept over, they've been doing it since years so you had collected some of their clothes on that journey.

"Oh and, Joker don't forget to text your brothers that you'll be staying here."

He nodded and stood up at your request, entering your room so he could get the mattresses for him and Wooin who was getting their clothes.

"Why didn't you ask me for help?"

"Wooin. You have the build of a 5 year old, you're barely 5'10ft tall."

"Because that length went somewhere else."

You clapped your hands one time. "Alright! Thats enough bullshit for today, see you–" a pillow thrown at your face cut you off.

"Oh now you're getting it you midget."

The pillow was thrown right back at Wooin who caught it while sitting. And it went on like that between you two until you had enough, storming towards him to smash it against his head.

Joker sat on his phone, texting his younger brother–Shutting the device to be met with a scene of Wooin laying on top of you, his head on your chest.

But wooins slender arms wrapped around your torso, tackling you to the ground. "Get off me! You're heavy!!!" You whined, hitting his back with small fists.

"But I thought I was small?"

He was acting so arrogant!! Your legs were kicking up and down beside his body were squashed you to the floor.

A loud scream made the dull Joker purse his lips, you bit Wooin, his hand to be exact and it made him sit up so you took it as a chance to crawl away but fingers wrapped around your ankle.

"No!!! Joker help me!"

A evil giggle left your lips when a strong force almost made your attacker fly, it was just a cushion that hit his face.

You hurried to Jokers embrace from your childhood friend, sitting on top of his lap so his arms naturally wrapped around your body.

Wooins gaze burned blank before he returned his signature feature, his smirk which was awfully forced. "Let's watch a movie!"

The pool of jealousy that he swallowed down started to take action inside him when you didnt move, only turning around, still with Joker, big arms locking locked together beneath your chest.

His fists clenched but he kept his cool, why wouldn't you realize that it bothered him to way you flirted with Joker? Maybe it was taking him time to realize it himself?

Wooin was trying his best with you but you only saw him as a player, it wasn't like this when you two were kids, you loved him back then, attached to him at the hip while peppering him with kisses.

Everything he went through, you stood by side. His fragile heart that was protected by a cage that he build up only beat for you.

"–Wooin?"

No matter how many women tried, he only saw you.

"Wooin!!"

He looked up at you, now realizing that you were standing in front of him. "You wanted to watch a movie, right? Get changed I'll go get some snacks!"

Joker had already changed, when did he even get the chance?

୨୧

School was calling your name, two days had passed since your two friends slept over, the day after that you three hung out at random parks and you just let them doing their own things.

You hated that deal that they were upon, about the race and everything, they were giving out some drops that could increase your ability when racing.

They were just dogs for that white haired weirdo who made them test them on people, you didnt say anything and stood far away when they did.

Sanghoe, he tried to lure threaten you into also giving out these dopes but you didnt listen to single word he said, slamming the door in his face that night.

There was once a time where you spoke to Wooin about it but he wasn't even trying to listen!! So you just cut it out, knowing that his stubborn ass wouldn't take your advice.

Just the thought made you angry, you hated it when someone took a blind eye to something that could be and IS dangerous.

You pat Jays back, he has been stressing ever since Shellys friend from England came to visit her or whatever was going on.

His name was Owen. Most of the girls were swept of their feet when they saw him, you couldn't say he wasn't handsome, because he was.

But he just...wasn't your type.

Shelly stomped in the classroom, running over to your arms. "Y/n please keep me from exploding like a Volcano!!" You smiled weakly, your eyes landing on her friend who entered after her.

Oh. Owen had a big thing for Shelly but she didn't like him, being together with Jay and all but for some reason he never understood that.

You also hated people like him. Was there something fogging their brains or what?

To best honest, you thought they were siblings or twins at first...

୨୧

You had duty to clean up today so you texted Joker that you were gonna go home by yourself but he insisted to pick you up after even though you told him not to.

It was so hot so you untied your tie, opening the first few buttons of your white shirt that was beneath the blazer of the school, the tattoo above your heart peeking out a bit.

You, Wooin and Joker had the same tattoo done at the same day.

Exhausted, you opened the windows so air could refresh the disgusting classroom, cleaning the desks one by one before moving to the board that was whitened up with the chalk.

"Hey"

Your heart almost flew out of its place, you turned to the direction of the sound and there he stood, the Blondie who was head over heels for Shelly.

"What? "

Embarrassed at your accent while speaking English, you continued to wipe the gigantic board, not paying attention to him.

"You're close to Shelly, right? "

"Yeah, why? "

The male looked sorrowful, sitting on one of the desks as he watched your form as you jumped a few times to reach the highest part of the board.

"Just wondering..."

"Wait, can you wipe the top part? "

A figure towered over you, the eraser being taken from your hands as Owen helped you, taking the job because he reached the last part.

"...what does Shelly see in Jay? I'm much more handsome than him! "

He backed away and you seeked for a joking look in his face, but he wasn't. "Your attitude, its good to be confident, but fix it."

Owen looked at you like you just murdered someone. "What's wrong with my attitude?! Its perfect! I'm perfect! "

"Right, then how about you grow some balls and ask her yourself? Can't you see that she's dating him! Obviously she doesn't want you."

You scolded, placed your hands on your hips, glaring up at the male whos gaze was now on your opened shirt, noticing the tattoo.

"Bye."

Was the last thing you said before disappearing, leaving Owen behind. His hand brushed back his air, anger showing on his features.

୨୧

Joker leaned against the wall, waiting for you to get out of the school. The moment you did, he fixed his posture, taking a few steps towards you.

His eyes slid down to your exposed skin, his eyebrows knitting. Joker tugged on the red fabric, pulling you closer so he could work his way to close your shirt, with you wailing.

"No, its too hot..."

A glare was send your way and you put your warm hand over his cold one, showing him that you weren't freezing at all.

"Its cold. Now get on."

Jabbing his thumb in direction of his motorcycle, you took the helmet, wearing it then got on behind Joker, holding onto him.

It was like a needle that landed on your skin, an icy one, followed by many after it and soon it was pouring. The rain didnt stop as the sky got darker, the only source of light being other cars, the motorcycle, some lamps and signs that were discarded for people to reach a shop.

You rested your head on Jokers back, fluttering your lashes shut as you enjoyed the nice breeze, the constant droplets ringing into the music of cars beeping and tires screeching against the road.

You guys came to a stop and you were convincing Joker to come in with you because he could catch the flu by the way both of you were drenched in water.

He gave up eventually, allowing you to drag him inside and listing to your instructions as you told him to take off his clothes at the do step, not wanting to wet the carpet. You took off your uniform, wearing your leggings beneath.

Joker looked away, stealing some glances only to focuses on the floor again as you guided him to your room, leaving the boy at your bed with clothes as you changed in the bathroom, coming back with towels.

"Let me dry your hair."

As the cloth absorbed the rain water from his fluffy hair, the doorbell rang for you to go and open it. "Wooin? get inside, you'll get sick!"

You took the boy in, his hair was sticking against his forehead as hard breathes left his lungs, checking you out under those fogged glasses of his.

Wooins shirt stuck to his body, leaving an imprint of his abs visible for the eye, his gaze was hazy and you shivered at the contact of grasp on your face.

"Get me something to wear, will you?"

You nodded, Joker exiting your room to see a wet Wooin, freeing his body from the now tight shirt as he replaced his friends place in your room.

Wooins muscles flexed as he dried up his own hair, his glasses long discarded on the table next to your bed. "Y/n you're a life saver."

"What did I do?"

"Live close by, that's what. I was about to become a block of ice!!"

Your lips curled up in a smile that had Wooin linger his eyes on, wondering how his heart hasn't just cut through his flesh and seated itself on your palm already.

You were about to walk away but a strong grip kept your place, your childhood friend made you close the gap between your bodies, hugging you as if you would vanish like a ghost the next second.

Fuck...the way you ran your sweet hands through his damp hair made Wooin clench his jaw, why couldn't you be like you were back then?

It hurt him. It was ripping apart the strings that his most important organ was attached on.

Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you kept stroking his head, two strong arms slithering around your neck made you gasp.

Jokers body heat collided on your back as he hugged you, face buried in your shoulder, blue hairs tickling your face.

You were sandwiched between the two, heart pumping like crazy, there was Wooin who's skin was like snow when touching with yours and Jokers whos was the polar opposite, scorching like a erupted volcano.

Wooin was trapped in a white bubble, a train of thoughts kept him intact of reality. You stopped getting close with him after he started going and 'sleeping' around with girls.

But oh he could swear he never kissed any of them, he was seeing you whenever he went out with someone. They were simply a cheap placement of you to play out his imaginations on, to feel the love that you weren't allowing him to take from you.

He could die, he wanted you to touch him. He was desperate to feel you, but you acted so oblivious to it, it made Wooin angry.

However, Joker kept his feelings to himself, locking them inside his chest, using the concrete wall he built, denying any of the admiration he had for you.

Maybe he was overdoing it, but you saved him, Joker felt free when he was with you. And he prayed that that would last forever.

He tried keeping his cool but you never failed to make butterflies flutter in his chest, your smile made him drown, choking every time you flashed him one.

It was hard for Joker too, trying his best not to just cage you against the wall and decorate you with kisses and marks to prove others that you were his and his only.

You were perfect for him, worrying and reminding him about his brothers, sometimes going over to his to cook for them and help around, even when he didn't ask that from you.

Joker wanted you for himself.

But that wouldn't work. No, he wasn't stupid, he noticed the way Wooin treated you in comparison to all the other girls and boys (even Joker himself got a different treatment) he toyed around with.

The way Wooins cunning personality just withered away, the way he showed his true colors when he was with you.

Joker knew that him and Wooin only felt safe in your arms.

And yours only.

Nobody else could make these two turn into putty in mere seconds other than you.

You want something? The next day it was in front if your door. Someone bothering you? They were dealt with personally. Feeling sad? Two warm hugs + cuddles, snacks and movies on their way.

It wasn't just you who got this treatment, but you returned every action they gave you. Your door was always the only one who was open for them.

Joker and Wooin could always tell you anything without feeling suffocated or regretting it.

You just understood them, and they understood you.

You were like the middle puzzle piece that held them together. The three of you were always matching, no matter what.

Now...It was scary, none of you able to speak about your true intentions.

These two were idiots if they believed that you didnt like them. You didn't what to hurt anyone. There was a decision to be made.

But you didnt want to decide, can't you have them both?

You loved Wooin, not because he's your childhood friend but because of how he treats you like you were worth more than a gem.

He was so gentle with you and you physically and mentally felt it. And Joker of the way he is, caring, always thinking of you.

Joker wasn't the richest and you know that, you didn't even give a fuck about those things but the fact that he tried made you melt.

He looks like he could murder (and would) but he was one of the sweetest people you knew, he didnt show it but his actions did.

There wasn't a time where you were left out when with these two. Joker and Wooin always made sure there was a space between the two for you, whether in a cinema, restaurant or a simple walk.

The familiar taste of metal made you swallow hard, blood seeped out of the rip of flesh while you bit down on your lips, licking it away with your tongue but it kept appearing to the surface.

The hug was broken apart by the boy sitting on the bed, the one behind you following after. You didnt know why you felt so empty, like a shell with no insides. The sad feeling made it hard to breathe.

You plopped down on your bed, hiding your face in the pillow, you were scared, you didn't want to ruin the relationship you had with them.

Scared of rejection.

They probably didn't like you, seeing you as a friend only. You hated this need of dragging yourself down to a standard, keep your delusions to yourself.

You felt a small shatter in your weak heart, did they love you or not? Because you think you're an idiot for liking them both.

But how could you not? Affection from others didn't work either...it was only like this with Wooin and Joker.

Closing your eyes, you felt the bed dip, an arm around your shoulder and a body laying next to yours.

Another person laid next to you on the other side, you could hear their heartbeats from here...it made you relax, stimulating your overworked brain into deep slumber.

"She's asleep."

"Hm."

"Joker?"

The boxer made a humming noise, he never took his eyes off you, your back moved along with the movement of your lungs, exhaling...inhaling sluggishly.

"I think I love her."

Well, he wasn't expecting a confession right here, right now. "She's my childhood friend. I don't care if a billion people also do,"

wooin sat up, looking Joker dead in the eye, the usual, scary glint that swirled in his eyes making the baby-blue haired male zip his lips, "Im gonna make her mine. I hate sharing but... If that's– never mind, forget it."

Now Joker was left perplexed as Wooin reconsidered his words then went to sleep, maybe this was a sign for Joker to allow his body to rest...eyeing you until his brain also shut off.

He was getting intoxicated with the smell of flowery shampoo that come from you, overtaking his senses and Joker was waiting for you to appear in his dreams tonight again.

Grrr should I continue this? I want to make a smut part but like...idk

Anyway, I hope you liked this and sorry for any mistakes!!

[gureishi]

Hey there! I can't even put into words how much i adore your writing 💕 Could I request 21 (wanna love you in the daylight) with Saeyoung and a female MC? NSFW would be fine if it's okay with you~

I am absolutely delighted that both of you requested something spicy for this prompt with my favorite boy. And thank you soooo much for saying such kind things! Asks like this really make my day ♡♡♡ Aaaand here is...a scenario I’ve been wanting to write for ages—so thank you for giving me a good reason to finally write it!

wanna love you in the daylight

Saeyoung X Reader, E (smut warning!), Words: 2313

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

Summer—and the sound of the wind whistling through the rolled down windows weaves itself into the music that’s playing at full volume over the radio; and he’s driving fast, like always, the late afternoon sun lighting up his hair a million shades of red and gold and amber. You lean back in the warm leather seat, using one hand to hold your windswept hair off your face. The winding road is long and empty—there’s no one out here but the two of you, and the endless fields of fragrant lavender, and the summer sun. He has one hand on the wheel and the other draped lazily across your thigh, like he left it there by mistake. 

You’re not headed anywhere in particular.

You are the one who got him out here in the first place: tugging him behind you, a finger looped through the belt loop of his jeans, shaking your head as he protested that he was in the middle of—he just needed to—

He is always in the middle of something, and usually that something is an excuse to stay inside his big, air-conditioned home with its bright colors and empty rooms. But the air outside today feels like swinging on a swing set and running barefoot through the grass; but you want to see the late summer sunset reflected in his sparkling eyes.

So you are driving to nowhere, fast enough that your heart races—and he is content like this: calm and collected in a way he never seems inside the home that he claims is his sanctuary. He feels safest cooped up in his house—but he feels happiest out here, where he can feel the car’s engine like a mechanical heartbeat and he can make perfect turns at top speed on the curvy road and grin when you scold him for it.

You don’t scold him too much. Because you trust him—because he looks like he thinks he’s flying when he drives this way, and you wouldn’t take that away from him.

“Look at the road,” you tell him now. It’s extending ahead in a straight line—up and over a hill—and he has turned his sunlit head to gaze at you.

“Can’t,” he says. He smiles your favorite half-smile, tilting his head, intense eyes somehow taking in all of you at once. You shiver, because he is looking at you with all the heat of the sun that’s beating down on your bare shoulders.

“Saeyoung.” You try on a stern voice and he laughs softly, the very tip of his pink tongue darting out to wet his lips. Oh, what you would give to be inside his mind for just one single, shimmering second.

“I’ll be good,” he purrs—and he does turn back to the road, with a dramatic toss of his head, as if to show you how serious he is about it. A new song comes on the radio: a softer one, with a beat that matches the sound of the tires on the road and the fingers of the wind in your hair. Just as you are thinking this—and although he is looking ahead now, accelerating over the little hill—his hand begins to creep ever-so-slowly up your thigh.

You shiver again, nibbling your bottom lip. He seems to be radiating energy—his rough, calloused fingers skim under the seam of your skirt, tap tap tapping their way across your leg. They tickle your skin, and you feel squirmy—they dip inward, curving around your thigh, and you’re startled by the desire that pools suddenly—hot and insistent—in the pit of your stomach.

You crest the hill, and he eases up on the gas, letting the car coast downward. He grins coyly; his eyes glitter with concentration.

“This is dangerous,” you tell him—and you know he hears the raspy longing in your voice, because he smiles bigger.

“I’m looking at the road,” he says, his tone honey-sweet. “Just like you told me to.”

Ah—his fingers find your underwear, which is soft and silky smooth. He knows as soon as he feels it that it’s one of his favorites, and he laughs triumphantly. You hear him through a sort of haze: his index flinger flicks against you insistently now, and there are bright sparks edging in around your line of sight.

“Did you pick these out by accident?” he sings. He is too happy with himself, you think—almost drunkenly—reaching clumsily for the door’s leather handle so you can squeeze it. Your toes curl in your shoes. His finger moves quicker—softer.

“‘Course not,” you pant, hating (loving) how easily he has left you helpless. And it wasn’t that you were scheming, dragging him out of the house so he would touch you under the hot summer sun—but it wasn’t as if you hadn’t thought about it, either.

How could you not, when he looks this good in the sunlight, and the air smells like the sound of ice cubes clinking in a tall glass, and the hum of the car makes your skin shiver?

He accelerates.

You whimper, and the sound mingles with the song that’s playing over the radio and the wind whips you hair around and he makes perfect little circles with his fingertip, eyes on the road, grinning because he loves the way you sound when you’re falling apart.

“Saeyoung,” you gasp.

He swings the car around a sudden bend in the road and you know he feels the way your thighs shake because he is going faster, faster—and there are sparkles everywhere, white glitter and blurry lavender and the rumbling of the engine and the specks of gold dancing off his hair as he drives straight into the sun.

He takes his eyes off the road again.

And it is this—the heat in his gaze and the feeling of his fingers against the smooth fabric of your underwear and the way the sunlight strikes his shoulders—that does it.

You can see nothing but glittering gold and blinding light; you know you’re crying out but you can’t quite hear it; and your body feels weightless, like paper—like his finger alone is tying you to the leather seat, and otherwise you would float off into the cloudless sky.

And then sensations return—your toes, curled tightly in your shoes, and your fingers, tense as they clutch the door handle.

You say his name again. His face swims back into view: golden and delightful and—and—

There is something new there, too. His eyes have darkened, and he looks like he’s lost. His hand trembles.

“You are—that was—” His voice is low, and it sends another little spark through through your weightless body. There is a hunger, and a desperation, in the way he watches you now; he looks like he is about a minute from falling apart himself.

“Saeyoung,” you say—louder and firmer than you’d intended. He jumps, like you’ve taken him by surprise. “Pull over.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

With one hand still on your leg—he’s gripping it now, his fingers squeezing hard enough to bruise—he veers off the road, slowing to a near-perfect stop on the grassy shoulder. The car does jolt the tiniest bit—unusual for him—and he lifts his arm from your leg to throw it in front of you, as if he’s going to single-handedly protect you from inertia.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “Didn’t mean to—”

“Get out of the car,” you tell him. His eyes flash. You are already undoing your seatbelt, stumbling ungracefully from the car onto the flattened grass around it. But he is quicker than you are—and by the time you’ve shut the door behind you, he is in front of you.

“That was fast,” you say, giggling. Your head still feels hazy, your thoughts swimming lazily through a pool of pleasure.

“God,” he hisses. His hands fall to your waist, and you can feel the bulge in his pants pressing into your hips as he walks you back into the car door. “I really—I want—”

You throw your arms around his neck, and he understands. He lifts you easily, both hands gripping your thighs—and you wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you around the front of the car. He peppers desperate kisses over your neck, across your shoulder; with one hand, he touches the hood of the car—and he winces.

“It’s too hot,” he mutters, his teeth sharp against your skin.

“Don’t care,” you say. 

He lowers you slowly, cautiously—and it is hot, but not overwhelmingly so. You pull him closer with your legs around his waist and he groans.

“Come here,” you say. The look in his eyes is irresistible—the sounds he is making as you buck your hips up, grinding against him, are intoxicating. You unbutton his pants with one hand, tugging down the zipper.

“Impressive,” he croons.

He slips a hand up your skirt again—his other hand bracing you, holding you in place—and tugs your underwear off in one swift motion. You notice that he sets them carefully beside you; they are one of his favorite pairs, after all.

The sun is just behind him, nearly blinding, and its flames seem to dance in his golden eyes. His fingertip flutters over you again—slips inside you, curling delicately.

“I wanna…” he mumbles, gazing down at you, spread out before him on the hood of his sleek little car. You moan and his hips twitch.

“God,” you say. “Please do.”

He grins, and his smile is as bright as the sun that’s just starting to set over his shoulder. He closes the tiny bit of distance—pulling his jeans and his boxers low on his hips, shivering a little as he feels the heat that’s radiating from the car on his exposed skin.

“Are you sure it’s not too—” he mutters: nervous, now, like you haven’t seen him in a while.

And you’ve said his name all sorts of ways today: as a reprimand; as an exclamation of ecstasy—but now, when you say it, it is a plea.

“Saeyoung.”

He obeys. He always does.

He shifts closer, a mysterious sort of delight dancing in his eyes. He steadies you.

“You—” he says. “You are…”

He thrusts into you, and you never hear the next word, if there is one at all—the blinding sparks are back, bursting in your peripheral vision, and you feel him against you, inside you—his hips tremble, and his hand on your waist is firm. You grab fistfulls of his t-shirt, wanting it off, lacking the mental capacity to get it over his head—and he thrusts into you again (harder, rougher), groaning as you toss your head back and grasp at his skin with needy fingers.

He finds a rhythm: and he is looking at you, still looking at you, fire in his eyes; lips parted, breath coming hard and fast. He is trying to keep it together, you think—and the car is warm beneath you, and the sun is hot on your shoulders, and his skin is tingly, sparking, full of fireworks.

You angle your hips upward, your eyelids fluttering shut, your legs feeling like they are suspended in some thick liquid. You need him, need him…

And he lowers his head to your shoulder—moving faster now, harder—and you wish he would absolutely consume you. You squeeze tighter around him and he understands.

He rocks you back into the hood of the car—and it’s too hot, not hot enough, just right—and the wind blows your hair into your face but you can’t quite feel it, and your toes are numb, and your heart is in his hands, in the air, in the steadily cooling engine and the smoke between you and the flames that dance over his skin.

You say his name again.

And he is shaking—rocking into you faster, faster—his hand on your hip trembling as he groans, biting down on your shoulder.

Losing himself entirely.

Losing.

Lost.

Gone.

The sun begins to set. Slowly, slowly—he stills. Starts to breathe.

And he presses his lips to your shoulder more gently now; he lifts his head. Mindlessly, you tangle a hand in his hair and pull him close. His lips taste like your sunscreen and you can feel the rhythm of his heart in your bones.

“Can’t believe,” he whispers, turning his head to nibble the side of your ear. “Can’t believe we’ve never done it on one of the cars before.”

You laugh; you feel giddy. He pulls away carefully, staring into your face as he tugs his jeans back over his hips.

“You’re always so focused on driving,” you say. He shakes his head, and his hair falls beautifully into his eyes. He leans against the hood of the car, beside you, and you take his hand.

“Not true,” he says.

There are magnificent colors in the sky now—lavender like the flowers all around you, pink and orange and gold.

“You like driving,” you tell him. He laughs, and the sound is radiant—like the way the air tastes.

“Yeah, I like driving,” he says. You turn and find he’s looking at you again—and all the colors of the setting sun are reflected back at you in his magnificent eyes. “But I’m focused on something else.”

He smiles a smile of sunsets and the purr of the engine and the balmy air on your shoulders.

You don’t have to ask him what he means. You, say his fire-colored eyes; and you, says his steady hand in yours. Focused on you.

Every second; every minute; every single day.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

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[doyumacy]

RIDE OUT - 9

ʏᴜᴛᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ᴍᴀʀᴋ ʟᴇᴇ

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀ, ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ꜱᴜɢɢᴇꜱᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴋ,  ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2,7k

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @coffee-prince-kyungsoo@xcharlottemikaelsonx@marksquare@tomorrowxforever@yoongsicles @neococo7 @angels-from-california @ahgastayzen @hiraarri @uhyikesbro

"yes yes yes yes," you moan as yuta eats you out.

"y/n, you look amazing. your face flushed, your lips as red as cherries, and your pussy, well i have no words for that." your face flushes even more from the compliment.

yuta adds a third finger and you roll your eyes. "fuck, i'm gonna cum." you whine.

"come for us, baby," you hear mark whispering in your ear. “let us see how beautiful you look when you cum.”

you wake up startled. your forehead is full of sweat and your hair is sticking to the back of your it. you swallow slowly as you sit on the bed and try to control your breathing. you don’t even realise you are panting.

what the hell was that? why is your mind tricking you in that way and making you have wet dreams about these two men? as if it isn’t hard enough.

you run a hand through your hair and get up from the bed going downstairs. it seems that johnny and jisung aren’t up yet. you need to focus on something else or your mind won’t stop replaying your steamy dream, and that’s the last thing you need right now.

you make breakfast and then get ready to open the shop. luckily, jungwoo has arrived earlier and he has already opened. you enter the shop and spot jaehyun talking to jungwoo about some switches.

“good morning,” you mutter.

jaehyun turns, surprised as if he isn’t expecting you. jungwoo smiles at you. “you're early today, y/n.”

“couldn’ts sleep,” you shrug and walk next to jaehyun. “i recommend the red one. it’s a better fit for your car.” you tell jaehyun.

he nods. “thanks.” he rubs his nape. “do you think we can talk?”

“i’ll be… at the office,” jungwoo gives you privacy and locks himself in the small office.

you turn your face to jaehyun. “what do you need?”

jaehyun sighs and rests his hands on the counter. “i didn’t know anything about it. i found out he was alive like almost two months ago…” he scrunches his face. “i’m sorry.”

you slowly nod. “i know.”

jaehyun frowns. “hold on, you’re not gonna yell at me or something?”

“you want me to yell at you?” you ask him.

“no, but… i thought you hated me and didn’t want to be my friend anymore,” jaehyun exhales in relief.

“dude, i had your dick in my mouth,” you remind him. “nothing can beat that.”

jaehyun laughs. “so, are we good?”

“yeah,” you reply to him. “but if you ever lie to me again i will chop off your balls.”

“you are a sadist.”

“stop whining and come here,” you open your arms.

jaehyun goes around the counter and hugs you. “i also knew you wouldn’t last too much time upset at me.”

you squint your eyes and look at him when he pulls away. “i can still regret it.”

“you won’t, and you know why? because i am your best friend and you need to rant about the situation,” he beams proudly.

“well, you’re right,” you murmur. “my mind is fucking me up and i don’t know what to do.”

jaehyun wraps an arm around your shoulder. “listen, y/n, fuck your mind. listen to your heart, does it beat faster when you see mark or when you see yuta?”

“beats pretty much in the same way for both,” you groan. “i’m even having wet dreams with them, jaehyun!” you rest your head on his shoulder. “i’m sick.”

“well, my advice is go poly!” he smiles and you stare at him. “yeah, never mind. that wouldn’t work. yuta is too possessive.”

“i just remembered why i never ask you for advice,” you sigh.

jaehyun giggles. “you want me to be real honest?” you nod. “you like mark and maybe there are more feelings there involved, but how do you feel about yuta? you might still have feelings for him?”

you pinch your nose. “it’s… complicated? weird? i mean, i never felt like that for anyone before. yuta is… the love of my life?”

jaehyun shrugs. “could be yes, but that doesn’t mean he’s your only love of your life. you still can have one more, or two, or three…”

“could you please run me over?” you sigh dramatically.

jaehyun chuckles. “y/n, i’m serious. you need to make your mind up before someone gets hurt.”

“that doesn’t help either,” you groan, pushing him away.

you are walking down the santa monica pier with mark at your side. after he picked you up that afternoon, he told you he'd take you to your favorite place. you never revealed him that, but replied he got a little help from jisung.

you are walking close together, shoulders brushing. and mark desperately wants to hold your hand. he ends up taking your hand into yours and you smile slightly squeezing his hand.

“the sun is setting.” you say. mark drags his eyes away from you and focuses on the water. the way the waves move toward the skyline.

the sunset reflects onto the water, pinks, oranges, and purples all blending with blue. It’s beautiful.

“it’s breathtaking.” he states, turning his head to look back at you.

“yeah. it's my favorite part of the day," you say, sounding awed. mark smiles at you, big and lopsided.

“i feel the same way,” he confesses, staring at you.

you blush and decide to avoid his eyes. you two stand there in silence for a while, holding hands. once it’s nearly dark, mark and you walk to the pacific park entrance and he smiles looking at the colorful roller coaster. “let’s ride it.”

"that looks,” you pause as you look up and watch the cart fly along the metal, the occupants all screeching with excitement as they were flipped upside down and around sharp curves, “interesting.”

"come on!" he takes your hand, yanking you towards the line.

how are you supposed to say to mark you're scared of roller coaster and you have never rode one? but you can't. he looks so excited and so thrilled about it that your heart melts.

you don't have to wait long before you are next to load onto the cart. mark looks over and sees that you are biting your bottom lip as the previous passengers file out of their seats.

“y/n, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” mark looks at you.

“no, I want to do this.”

“good,” mark nods, “because it’s our turn.”

mark helps your with placing the seatbelt on, laughing when he realizes that you never wear a seatbelt when you drive but somehow you trust it. when the ride operators come around and pushes the metal bar onto your laps, you squint down at it and tilted your head.

“do they really expect this to stop us from falling out?” you whisper and yank on the bar a couple times, making the whole cart shake.

“come on baby, you know about physics,” mark reaches over and places one hand on top of you to stop the shaking.

"i know nothing about physics," you frown, looking at him.

"you do," he holds your hand. "just relax, baby. if we fall, we won't know."

you groan and squeeze at his hand. "i'm gonna yank your hair off."

mark chuckles and when the car begins moving forward, the grip that you have on the bar tightens. you begin creeping up the first hill, and mark looks over at you to try and calm your nerves.

“why don't you ride roller coasters?”

you rub your forehead. “my best friend died on a roller coaster. this shit collapsed and she died."

"oh shit, y/n... i'm sorry," mark stares at you and groans. "fuck, i'm sorry. i'll talk to guys so we can get off ri-"

mark stops talking when he sees you laughing and throw your head back. he cocks an eyebrow. "what's so funny, baby?"

"i'm shitting on you, mark," you wipe your eyes.

mark squints his eyes and pulls away from you. the roller coaster stops once you're on the highest point. you refuse to look down because you don't want to see the sea and how tall you are. mark slightly moves, making the cart move. you hiss at him. "stop, mark."

"what?" he smiles at you, moving again.

you whine and you grip at the bar. "mark!" you groan. "stop it or i swear to god i'm gonna run your over with my car."

mark laughs and he comes near you. "you're so cute when you get mad."

"and i'll get cuter when i chop off your balls," you stare at him.

he pouts. "truce?"

"fine. but dinner's on you."

after leaving the pier, mark takes you to his favorite restaurant. he then takes you home and parks right outside. he turns to you and smirks. "i had a great time."

"yeah well, wish i could i say the same," you joke.

mark laughs and leans to give you a kiss. you kiss him back and he grabs your jaw to kiss you better. you pull away and smile tilting your head to the side. "just a simple kiss for you, lee."

mark nods. "as my girl wishes."

you roll your eyes. "you can be very cheesy sometimes, did you know?"

"yep." he winks at you.

you sigh. "i can't stand you."

"too bad. you're already so into me."

"just... go home, mark." you giggle and give him a final kiss. he nods and kisses you back. "text me when you get there."

(...)

on a saturday night, doyoung ask you, no, demands you to be at a party he's throwing. you don't want to go, but you can't risk screwing yuta's plan.

you arrive at the party’s locations and you find some known faces. you spot doyoung talking to a red haired man and you assume he’s his friend. you turn around, walking through the drunk and high people dancing. you have a cup in your hand, but you’re not drinking. you need to keep your head clear in case something happens.

as you’re trying to make your way to the bar so you can take a seat, you meet with someone’s chest. you look up and your eyes  wide open. it’s jisung.

what the hell is he doing there?

“what in the world are you doing here?” you hiss at him.

“my friend invited me,” he shrugs.

“are you stupid, jisung?” you look at him. “this is doyoung’s party!”

“w-what?” he stutters. “i didn’t know. my friend just told me to come, but i can’t find her anywhere.”

“tell your… friend you had to go.” you advise him. “please. i don’t want doyoung to see you.”

“too late.”

“why?” you frown.

“he’s walking to us.”

you suddenly feel an arm around your shoulders and doyoung pulls you closer to him. he smiles. “who is this young man, y/n?”

you gulp. “he’s my uhm… my brother.”

doyoung smiles looking at jisung and extends his hand. “nice to meet you. i’m doyoung.”

jisung looks at you and then eyes doyoung’s hand. he slightly shakes it. “hi. i uhm… i’m jisung.”

“jisung.” doyoung nods. “i’ll remember that name.”

you remove doyoung’s arm and get away from him. “we’re actually leaving.”

“already?” doyoung cocks an eyebrow. “but the party just started.”

“i have homework,” jisung suddenly says.

“homework?” doyoung laughs. “okay. young kid needs to finish his tasks.”

“thanks for having me,” you tell doyoung. “see you later.”

“uhm… g-goodbye.” jisung mutters.

you take jisung by the arm and walk out of the party. you both are shaking but try to act as nonchalant as possible.

doyoung watches you two leave and when he feels someone’s presence next to him, he doesn’t even flinch. “told you he’d come.”

doyoung takes a bale of cash and hands them to the person standing next to him. “how did you convince him?” he turns to them.

“he’s a man,” the person fixes their hair. “a bit of flirting and he was ready to leave his family.”

doyoung nods. “yves, right?”

“yes.”

“nice job. i’ll see you around.”

(...)

the days go by and you and johnny come to the agreement that jisung will not leave the house until the situation is fixed, as it is very risky and doyoung knows about his existence, although he still does not know the identity of 'jwi'.

one night, after mark drops you off he decides to walk to the door and when you two are having a mini make out session, yuta decides to show up.

the sensation you get is confusing. you feel you're cheating on yuta and that makes you feel guilty. but you also like mark, and the more you spend time with him, the more feelings you get for him.

on the other hand, you keep having dreams where the three of you are together and you hate it.

you slightly pull away from mark and look at yuta. he only stares at you. "good evening."

you press your lips together and mark's grip on your waist tightens. "is johnny inside?"

you nod. "yes. you can come in."

yuta shakes his head. "can you tell him i'm outside please? i just need to give him something."

"okay. i'll be right back," you murmur.

you get into your house looking for johnny. mark leans against the wall, with his hands inside his jeans pockets. yuta looks everywhere but at him and it's uncomfortable.

an awkward situation.

"so..." yuta breaks the silence. "you dating my wife."

mark stares at him and blinks. "yeah."

yuta nods, slowly crossing his arms on his chest. "enjoy the time you still have left with her."

mark scoffs, almost laughing. "you're that insecure you need to threat me? you need to work harder, buddy."

"you're allowed to think whatever you want, mark," yuta shrugs. "y/n loves me. don't tell me you don't see it."

"i don't because i'm sure about her feelings towards me," mark smiles.

"please mark, you'll end up believing she's over me and hurt yourself," yuta tilts his head to the side. "i'd recommend you to walk away for once."

"i'm not the type that walks away," mark spits, looking at him.

you and johnny show up at the door and johnny greets yuta. he hands him a black usb and tells him he needs to go. he approaches you and kiss your cheek goodbye. yuta smiles at you and before he turns around to leave, he winks at you. mark rolls his eyes and johnny feels awkwardly trapped.

mark says goodbye seconds later but he gives you a kiss on the mouth, making johnny feel more uncomfortable. his eyes go everywhere, trying to avoid the scene of you kissing mark. it's gross.

"okay, get a room now. i can see the tongues from here," johnny makes a disgusted face.

"goodnight, baby. sleep tight." mark kisses your forehead.

"you too," you smile at him.

mark says goodbye to johnny and you watch him get into his car. once you and Johnny are back inside the house, johnny rubs his cheek. "girl, you need to do something about it."

"about what?" you ask him.

"about the two desperate dicks that were outside minutes ago," johnny scoffs. "didnt you feel the tension between those two? i thought they would start beating each other at any second."

"I don't want to talk about it," you state.

"you always avoid talking about it, but you eventually will have to choose one." johnny cocks an eyebrow. "or maybe convince them to start a relationship with the three of you."

"you're so annoying, johnny. just... go away." you wave a hand to shoo him away.

"you can shoo me away but you know you need to choose one." he shrugs. "it's not fair and you know it."

you sigh. "i know."

[bangtanreadingcorner]

tall, blonde and gorgeous • jeon jeongguk

plot — when jeongguk dyes his hair blonde, it might just be the push you both need to finally talk about the feelings you have for each other.

words — 5.7K

You woke up in the middle of the night, craving some apple juice. You knew there was in the kitchen fridge, because Taehyung always made sure to stock up whenever you come for a weekend visit.

Speaking of your brother, he was passed out next to you, the two of you sharing his King sized bed while you visited. Like you always did. It was mostly just you two, but sometimes Jimin would join you. You don't mind, you known both of them since forever and Jimin is your brother as much as Taehyung is.

Quietly, you got out of bed. You didn't want to wake your brother, he works so hard and needs his rest.

The dorm was silent, which was a little weird because there was usually always someone up. It was only when on tour that all seven of the boys would sometimes be asleep at once, but even that was rare.

Shrugging it off, you padded the rest of the way to the kitchen, only to come to a halt in the doorway, freezing.

Someone with a mop of blond hair stood with his back to you, digging through the fridge.

The digging through the fridge wasn't what surprised you, no, it was the hair because as far as you knew, no one in Bangtan had blonde hair right now.

You knew because your brother was always spamming your phone, whenever he had time, with pictures, videos, voice notes and messages. You and Taehyung have always been close and he always made the effort to keep you up-to-date with his life but also made a point to keep you out of the spotlight, which you appreciate more than you tell him. Come to think of it, more than half your gallery is made up of pictures of Bangtan. The other half is made up of your rare selfies, pictures with your friends, of your dog or your brother's dog.

The point is, if someone colored their hair, you would know within five minutes - with pictures and everything. And Taehyung hasn't spammed your phone since yesterday morning when he and Jimin accidentally got Hobi instead of Jeongguk with a water balloon.

So, the question is, who is the blonde currently rummaging through the fridge?

You looked him up and down, noticing the very nice, very broad and clearly strong shoulders covered with a black t-shirt that hid the rest of the guy's figure. Your gaze went down a nice ass and long legs that was wearing grey sweatpants and finally stopping at bare feet.

Something flashed in your mind.

Wait a minute.

You know that ass. You've looked at it enough over the last seven years to recognize it anywhere in a crowd.

"Jeongguk?" You called, a little satisfied when he jumped upright, turning to you with wide eyes. Your heart decided to double its pace.

"Ah, tiny, you're awake. I thought you were sleeping, trying to grow some more." He teased, his heartbeat slowly calming down from the freight you gave him. His eyes quickly scanned you over, and he had to suppress a smile when he saw the bright orange pajamas. It was ugly as hell - he made sure to tell you many times but you always just roll your eyes at him or if you were feeling particularly moody, you'd flip him a finger.

Now, ordinarily, you'd snap at him for calling you tiny because you aren't (it doesn't matter that Jimin is 12 centimeters taller than you, it doesn't make you tiny, short maybe, but not tiny) but right now, you could only focus on one thing.

"Y-your hair." You stuttered, which was new because you never stutter in Jeongguk's presence. Your heart may race, your legs may turn into jelly, your hands may tremble and your stomach may fill with butterflies but you never stutter. And you never let him know what you're feeling.

He ran a hand through his freshly dyed blonde hair, only a little self-conscious with the intense stare you were giving him. He couldn't tell if it was positive or negative. "Yeah, I just wanted a change, something different."

"Well, it's definitely different. Mission accomplished." You informed him, walking into the kitchen fully, your voice miraculously even as you were internally panicking. This was like that time he dyed his hair pink all over again. Oh god. You hoped you could form coherent sentences this time around instead of just giving him the silent treatment for two weeks.

Like you said, you don't stutter around Jeongguk. Ever.

Jeongguk tilted his head at you curiously. "Bad different?"

"No!" You exclaimed, not wanting him to think that. You shook your head vigorously. "Not all. It looks good actually. Really good." So good, in fact, that your fingers itched to touch, to run your hands through it, play with the dyed locks of hair.

Jeongguk looked at you in pleasant surprise, lips stretching into that familiar bunny smile that made you swoon. He bit his bottom lip before saying. "I think that's the first time you ever paid me a compliment."

You frowned, "That can't be true."

"It is." Jeongguk's tone was matter-of-fact. "In seven years, you've never once given me a compliment. I would have remembered."

You pursed your lips, a sudden surge of guilt rushing through your chest at the look on his face - hurt.

"Well, you get lots of compliments from other people, right?" You said, trying to deflect because you never once thought that by staying quiet around Jeongguk, just to hide your feelings, that you'd hurt him.

"But never from you." Jeongguk said, words low and heavy with something you didn't understand. He stared at you, eyes open and strangely vulnerable. You didn't understand what he was trying to tell you.

You frowned at him again, "What does it matter?"

Something in Jeongguk's eyes shuttered at that, like he let you see something but now he pulled his walls back up. You still didn't understand it and he wasn't volunteering an answer.

Finally, he shrugged, "It doesn't, I guess." and he turned back to the refrigerator.

You had a feeling he was lying but you weren't going to call him out because that wasn't your place and it wasn't the kind of thing you and Jeongguk did. Whenever things seemed to go in a direction where feelings were involved - and not about other people but about each other, like what you think of Jeongguk and what he thinks of you - one of you stops the conversation before it can go deeper.

You tease each other good-naturedly, comfortable with each other because you are the same age, and you've listened to him rant when he was frustrated and even held his hand at times when he cried because the pressure of it all got a little to much.

It struck you, suddenly, how Jeongguk always comes to you first. Whether he's stupidly happy about something, or whether he's sad and wants a shoulder to cry on. You two could talk about anything under the sun or moon but whenever it comes to your feelings for each other, you shut down. You've never even admitted that you are, at the very least, friends and that you do care about each other.

You wondered if maybe it was time to change that.

You looked at Jeongguk's back and wanted to ask if thinks of you as a friend, if nothing else but what came out was, "Can you hand me a juice box please?"

He did so, without a word, and you decided to go back to bed. You stopped in the doorway again, turning back to him. "Jeongguk?"

"Yeah?" His tone, his eyes, was strangely hopeful and it made your heart twist. You looked at him, and somehow fell a little bit more in love with him.

"You know that I care about you, right? I mean, I know we've never talked about it, but I do." Your hands was shaking and you gripped the juice box. Luckily you didn't press the straw in yet or your hands would be full of apple juice right now.

The smile Jeongguk gave you was brilliant and it made your heart feel lighter than ever. He nodded his head, "I know."

"Good."

"I-" He started, breath catching a bit but forced himself to go on because if you could be brave, then so could he. "I care about you, too."

You grinned at him before turning away and going back to Taehyung's room, a definite skip in your step.

* * *

"So, what do you think?" Taehyung asked eagerly the next morning after breakfast, when everyone cooed and screeched over Jeongguk's hair.

You were back in your brother's room, scrolling through your Twitter feed. You looked at him, not sure what he was talking about. When it comes to Taehyung it can anything from the lines for a song he's working on to his next prank on one of the members.

"Of what?" You asked.

"About Jeonggukie." He said, waving with a hand at his head, so that the meaning was clear.

"Ah, you mean his transformation from tall, dark and handsome to tall, blonde and gorgeous?"

"Yes! What do you think?" Your brother looked at you expectantly.

"I think my previous question is an answer to that question." You smirked at him, snickering when he just scoffed before pouting at you.

"I hate it when you go all smartass on me." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I love you, too." You sing-songed with a lighthearted giggled.

* * *

Later that afternoon, you decided to watch a movie and was joined by Jeongguk, Taehyung, Hoseok and Jimin.

"Jeongguk-ah." You called from where you were sitting on the two seater couch next to Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung was laying cuddled on the three seater and Jeongguk was sitting on the floor, against the front of the coffee table. You weren't sure where the rest are right now.

He turned to you, eyes narrowed suspiciously, "What do you want?"

You gaped at him, "What makes you think I want something?"

"Because you only call me 'Jeongguk-ah' when you want something." He was matter-of-fact.

The other three was watching the two of you instead of the movie.

"Like what? I rarely ask you anything." You frowned at him.

"Like getting your phone from Taehyung-hyung's room, making you tea, bringing you a blanket, getting your food." Jeongguk said and you huffed. Okay, so maybe you do that but this time what you want would benefit him too.

"Okay, first of all, you didn't have to do any of what I asked, you know. And second, you'll like this too." You assured him, then added after a moment. "I think."

Jeongguk looked at you warily as Jimin and Taehyung exchanged smirks. "What do you want?"

"I want to play with your hair." You shrugged nonchalantly, not showing a hint of how nervous you are, no showing how it took you the whole morning to pluck enough courage together to ask.

Jeongguk's mouth fell open in surprise, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean I've always liked your hair but this blonde hair is really doing for you." You smiled at him, a little more confident when you saw more confusion than anything else on his face. Satisfaction rolled through you when you noticed his red ears.

"Whatever, fine." He muttered in agreement, looking away from you as he stood up right and came to sit down infront of you.

"Thank you." You grinned, clapping your hands in glee as you crossed your legs on the couch, knees touching Jeongguk's shoulders.

"Just don't tangle it." Jeongguk said, eyes fixed on the TV screen.

"I won't." You promised before reaching out and running your hands through his hair. It was just as soft as you hoped, instead of being dry and rough from the dye - it made you feel giddy.

Jeongguk tensed under the touch for a second but relaxed when you continued your gentle ministrations, nails scraping softly against his scalp. You tuned out the rest of the room, having watched the movie before - you've watched all the Marvel movies with Jeongguk at least three times - and continued playing with the blonde tresses.

Still, something caught your attention and you said, "Jimin-oppa, put away that phone."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said innocently, hiding his phone behind his back.

"Sure you don't."

It was silent for fifteen seconds before he whined, "But no one will believe me if I don't have proof."

"They'll believe Hobi-oppa." You retorted, nodding to the ray of sunshine sitting besides you.

Jimin huffed indignantly but dutifully put his phone away.

You continued playing with Jeongguk's hair, twirled and braided and separated and bunched it together like a pineapple stem atop his hair. The movie finished and Taehyung picked another one and you still played with Jeongguk's hair.

Twenty minutes into the new movie, Jeongguk's head fell back, onto your legs, eyes closed. You gaped at the blonde.

"Jeongguk." You whispered, not wanting to wake him if he is sleeping but not sure if he's playing either.

"Did he fall asleep?" Your brother asked, laughter in his voice, making his eyes sparkle.

"I think so." You nodded, in a state of bewilderment and disbelief.

"You must have magic hands." Hoseok said before pressing a hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds of his laughter.

Your glared at them. "Not one more word out of the three of you, or I'll change the sugar in your coffee for salt for the indefinite future."

"I didn't say anything." Jimin protested and you just gave him a pointed look.

They thankfully kept quiet after that, but you could see them glancing at you and Jeongguk every now and again. You ignored their gazes as you continued playing with his hair.

Your heart was thumping happily in your chest, glad that Jeongguk enjoy you playing with his hair so much that it lulled him to sleep. It made you feel so content that you didn't want to move again.

You even turned a blind eye when you saw Jimin turning his phone in your direction ten minutes later.

At the end of the movie, you decided to wake Jeongguk up. As much as you like him sleeping on your legs, they were starting to fall asleep and he would get a stiff neck if he keeps sleeping like that.

So, you shooed everyone out of the room before gently shaking his shoulder. "Jeongguk-ah, wake up."

He groaned and you repeated your actions, watching as his eyes fluttered open. You looked into his sleepy eyes, wanting to coo as you watched him blink his way out of sleep. He quickly recognised you, even upside down, and immediately sat upright, looking at you with wide eyes.

"Y/N?" His voice was husky with sleep and it made your cheeks heat up. "What happened?"

"You feel asleep." You explained. You watched as he nodded slowly, processing this and felt the urge to tease him a little, so you added, "On my lap."

Jeongguk's cheeks flushed pink and you couldn't help the fond smile on your lips. He ducked his head shyly and spoke a soft, "Sorry."

"It's okay." You waved him off. You wanted to even the field between you because it felt unbalanced somehow, like you had something over Jeongguk. You didn't like it, you wanted to be right besides him. Not above or below him. (Although many people would say he's way above you, you know that he doesn't care about that and neither do you.) Finally you admitted, "I liked it, it was nice that you felt relaxed enough because of me to fall asleep."

"I liked it, too."

You smiled, a little shy but also feeling bold by his admission. "I'll do it again sometime then."

"Okay." He grinned.

* * *

After that weekend, it took three weeks before you had another free weekend to go and visit your brother. With your bag slung over your shoulder and a bouquet of red tulips in your hand, you opened the door and called a loud hello to anyone inside. You made you way to the kitchen first, wanting to put the flowers in some water.

You found Jeongguk - who was still blonde, and your heart instantly picked up its pace - and Namjoon in the kitchen, the leader busy by the microwave and Jeongguk waiting as far as humanly possible from it. You quickly realised what was happening and supressed a smile. Namjoon must be heating food up for Jeongguk, who is afraid of microwaves.

You exchanged greetings and you quickly started looking through the cupboards for a vase.

"Those are pretty flowers." Namjoon remarked, leaning against the counter.

"I know right."

"Where did you get them?" Jeongguk asked, eyes on the admittedly pretty flowers.

"Oh, some guy gave them to me before asking me out." You answered absentmindedly as you continued your search for a vase.

Behind you, Jeongguk tensed, his hands curling into fists.

"Really?" Namjoon asked, more to see Jeongguk's reaction than anything else.

"Yeah, I almost said yes, too, just for the fact that he gave me flowers." You nodded over your shoulder. "Do you guys have a vase? I swear Jin-oppa had one in the old dorm."

"Under the sink." Namjoon answered, arms crossed over his chest as he looked back and forth between an oblivious-you and a jealous-Jeongguk, a smile on the corners of his lips.

"Thanks." You grinned before walking over to the sink and crouching down. You opened the cupboard and had to dig past the sponges, cloths, windowlene, bleach and dishwashing liquid before spotting the crystal vase. "I love flowers, you know? Not many people know because it's not something I advertise but Taehyung-oppa always gives me flowers for my birthday, every year since I was thirteen." You babbled as you gently pulled out the vase, not wanting to knock it against one of the pipes and crack or shatter it by accident. It was a little dusty, so you rinsed it before filling it halfway with water.

"Do you have a favorite flower?" Namjoon asked, partly to fill the silence because Jeongguk was glaring at the ceiling, tongue in cheek, and partly because he genuinely wants to know.

"Nope," You shook your head, removing the protective plastic around the flowers and putting them in the water. "I like all kinds of flowers. Roses, lillies, forget-me-nots, proteas, tulips, sunflowers - you name it, I love it. And in all colours too. There's just too many to pick a favorite. Although I really like pink lotus flowers. I'd love to grow them when I have my own garden someday. I'll have to install a shallow pond, of course, because they grow in mud but yeah, that's something I'd really like to try." You rambled on. Namjoon watched you fondly and glanced at the maknae, seeing that Jeongguk was still tense.

"Did you say yes?" Jeongguk burst out asking the moment you stopped talking.

"Huh?" You frowned at him, a little lost because you were completely caught up in thoughts of flowers.

"The date." He said, voice taking a sharp edge. "Did you say yes?"

"Oh." Realisation dawned on you and you shook your head. "No, I didn't."

"Then why did you take his flowers? You'll give him the wrong idea." Jeongguk grumbled.

Namjoon thought that right now was the best time to become a missing person and quickly exited the kitchen. He is not playing referee, should this turn into an arguement. No, thank you, he's done it enough between these two.

You rolled your eyes at Jeongguk, "I made myself perfectly clear, Jeongguk. I told him that while I adore the flowers, I don't like him."

"Still, you shouldn't have taken them." Jeongguk insisted, stepping closer to you.

Your temper flared, "Excuse me? Why not?"

"What if someone had seen? What if they start thinking that you two are dating?" Jeongguk's tone was something crossed between horror and panic.

"And so what if they think that?" You frowned at Jeongguk because what does it matter what other people think when you know the truth?

"So you do want people to think you're dating." Jeongguk said, voice cutting and accusing.

"What?" You stepped closer to Jeongguk, getting angrier by the second.

"Do you actually like this guy?" Jeongguk asked, sounding distressed with the thought but you were to angry to pay any attention to that.

You scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous?" He pointed to himself, shocked.

"Yes! They're just fucking flowers!" Your voice was raised as you snapped at him, louder and harsher than it's been in a long time towards Jeongguk, of all people.

You didn't have time to feel guilty because his next words matched yours in volume, "That some other guy bought for you!"

"And your point is what exactly?!" Your voice didn't lower.

"My point is that I can buy you flowers!" Jeongguk shouted back.

The words take a second to sink in, and when it does, it catches you completely off guard and you deflate like a popped balloon, you anger evaporating like mist under the sun. You squint up at the blonde, who you finally noticed was a lot closer than when you started this arguement. "What?"

His voice was soft this time around, all the fight having left him, too. "If you want flowers, just ask me. I'll buy you any flowers you want. Just-" He cut himself off with a sigh, closing his eyes. "Don't take someone else's flowers again. Please."

You looked at him, opening your mouth to snap at him but saw the sincere, the utterly vulnerable look in his eyes, and the breath was knocked from your lungs. You looked away, taking a few steps back as your heart twisted and you inhaled deeply to fill your lungs again. You noticed that Namjoon had left the kitchen. You didn't blame him.

A lengthy silence later, you finally looked at Jeongguk again, your hands trembling. "Is it really that important to you?"

"Yes." Jeongguk answered softly but firmly, no question in his voice, even as he looked down at the tiled floor.

"Okay." You nodded.

His eyes snapped to yours, and he echoed, "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." You gave him a slow smile, then, just to break the heavy tension around you two, you said, "Just know that there is no backing out now and flowers are expensive. You aren't allowed to complain that I'm denting your bank account later."

"Deal." Jeongguk laughed, warmth spreading through his chest as the last of his jealousy faded.

* * *

"You know that one day you are going to have to talk about the feelings between you and Jeongguk, right?" Taehyung asked his sister later that night when they were laying in bed. He heard the story from Jimin, who heard it from Seokjin and Yoongi, who heard it from Hoseok, who heard it from Namjoon.

"What feelings?" You asked innocently.

Taehyung sighed in frustration but wasn't very surprised. The one thing that Taehyung has never been able to get out of his sister is the truth about her feelings for Jeongguk. But even without her saying anything, he knew. The eyes don't lie. "Denying it won't make it go away, Y/N."

You sighed, too, "Yeah, I know."

Taehyung didn't say anything for a few moments. This was the closest his sister ever gotten to admitting her feelings out loud, in seven years. "I'm here for you. Always."

"Thanks." You smiled, as if you didn't know that already.

* * *

Before you went home that Sunday, your brother told you that they were going on vacation as a group and you're invited because according to Taehyung, right after Jimin, you are the one person he can't live without. You rolled your eyes at the dramatics but agree to go with them none the less.

So, you put in a week's leave for two weeks from now and asked your brother where you would be going for this vacation. The answer was a secluded beach house where no one would be able to reach you.

And no phones was allowed.

You laughed a bit at that rule when you arrived at the house and saw that there is WiFi. Your brother was quick to remind everyone of the rule, telling them that the WiFi was only allowed to be used for YouTube and Netflix. Games was added to the list after an objection from Jeongguk and Seokjin.

"This is gonna go great." You laughed as walked up the stairs to pick a room. You get first choice after winning the rock, paper, scissors game in the car.

"Pick us a nice room, sis!" Taehyung shouted up after you.

There was only four rooms because the whole point of this vacation is to spend time together, which means that everyone was doubling up. They decided to pair up by age and it turned out - Seokjin and Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon, Jimin and Jeonguk, and naturally, you and Taehyung were paired up. (You tried not to think about the fact that if you kept to the age pairing that you and Jeongguk would've been sharing a room.) That lead to a lot of pouting from Jimin because he wanted to pair up with his soulmate.

"If your so eager to share a bed with him, why don't you marry him?" You remember teasing Jimin.

"Maybe I will." He shot back without thinking and you weren't sure who was redder once his words set in - Jimin or Taehyung.

You picked a room with a small balcony and a nice view of the ocean. The day passed peacefully, everyone full of energy but after dinner on the beach, everyone quickly retired to bed, the sea air getting to them.

You decided to watch the ocean a little while longer and Jeongguk joined you. Neither of you spoke as you sat on the sand, watching as the waves crashed on the shore, water retreating back into the vast expanse of ocean. It was captivating, in a kind of terrifying way but if there is one thing in your life you've never been scared of, it's water.

"Life is a lot like the ocean." You eventually said, breaking the silence between you.

"How so?"

"You can read about it in so many books, but you still won't know everything about it."

"That's deep." Jeongguk said, voice soft.

You shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious. "Yeah, well, I've never been a shallow person."

"I know." You saw him nodding out of the corner of your eyes. "You're a beautiful person. Inside and out." He said it so matter-of-factly, so sincerely, that your stomach flipped and your cheeks flushed.

"Thanks." You smiled over at him.

It was silent again, but just like the first silence, you didn't mind it. You like the comfortable quiet between you two. Finally, you sighed and pushed to your feet, "Come on, let's go inside."

"Okay." Jeongguk got to his feet and you walked the path home.

You walked on the side of the pool where you all swam earlier that day, and didn't notice the small puddle of water that hasn't dried yet and you slipped. You reached for Jeongguk but his hands missed yours by millimeters, so you just took a breath and resigned yourself to falling into the water. You didn't mind it all that much, nothing some towels couldn't fix.

When you surfaced, you saw a laughing Jeongguk on the side. An idea formed in your mind but you made sure to keep your expression neutral as you reached a hand out to him. "Give a girl a hand, please."

Jeongguk - nice, kind, unsuspecting Jeongguk - reached a helping hand out to you immediately, only realising your true intentions when you gave a forceful yank and pulled him into the pool.

When he surfaced, glaring at you - but there was no heat behind it, so it didn't count - you couldn't help but laugh heartily. "I forget how similar you and Taehyung-hyung really are sometimes."

"Sucks for you." You smirked. The smirk turned into spluttering when Jeongguk splashed water into your face. You looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Oh, you're on."

You splashed at each other like proper five year olds, giggling and everything. Finally you called a ceasefire before you woke up everyone inside.

You looked at Jeongguk, blonde hair dripping wet, droplets of water rolling down his tan skin, that little mole under his bottom lip that you've wanted to kiss so many times you've lost count and suddenly, all of your resolve broke down like a house of cards and your common sense shortcircuited. You surged forward and kissed him firmly, clutching at his shoulders to pull him close.

His lips were a little cold from the water but was still petal soft and you wondered what it would be like to kiss him everyday.

Your common sense returned a second later and you pulled away, almost loosing your footing and slipping. Your whole body was on fire and you couldn't look Jeongguk in the eyes. "Fuck. Shit, Jeongguk, I'm so, so sorry."

You turned away from him, every intention of getting out of this pool and hiding away until you die.

Only you didn't get anywhere before a strong hand circled your wrist in the one second and in the next second you found yourself pushed up against the wall of the swimming pool, barricaded in by a hand on each side of you. You looked up at Jeongguk and your mouth went dry at the sight of those dark eyes that made you shiver. His voice was low when he spoke, "I didn't get to kiss back."

Your eyes widened and that was all you had time to do before he leaned down to capture your lips. Your head told you to pull away. That this is a very bad idea. Your heart told you to kiss him back and make the most of it. You've been listening to your head for seven years, so you decided to listen to your heart for once and kissed Jeongguk back with years of pent up longing and yearning.

The kiss turn turned really hot, really fast.

Jeongguk hoisted you up and you quickly got with the program and wrapped your legs around his waist. Everywhere his hands touched, it left a blazing trail behind, causing you to shiver and erupt into goosebumps. Distantly you wondered how it was possible to feel so heated in cold water.

You kissed and kissed until your lungs burned, your toes curling as you squeezed as close to Jeongguk as possible. Finally, you couldn't take it anymore and you pulled away, both of you heaving lungfuls of air.

"So now what?" You asked him, when you regained some common sense and breathing didn't leave you breathless anymore.

"Well, right now I'd like to kiss you some more, but later on, I'd really like to take you out." Jeongguk told you bluntly and if you were standing, your legs would have given out.

"What?"

And just like that, gone was confident Jeongguk and back was shy Jeongguk. He ducked his head, adverting his eyes from yours. "If you want."

"Yeah, I want too." You told him, watching as his eyes glittered with happiness. You could relate.

Jeongguk was onto something with the kissing some more right now, though, so you pushed that away and you dived back in. Right now you were more interested in mapping the inside of Jeongguk's mouth and finding out what his skin tastes like than anything else in this world.

* * *

The next morning your brother squinted at you suspiciously from across the breakfast table. You were seated in between Jeongguk and Hoseok, across from Taehyung and Jimin. Namjoon sat next to Hoseok. Yoongi and Jin was busy making breakfast in the kitchen. The six of you were waiting patiently.

Finally you couldn't take the staring anymore. "Is there something on my face, Taehyung-oppa?"

"Something happened." Taehyung said, pointing the pair of chopsticks he was fiddling with at you.

You rose a brow, not surprised at all that your brother picked up on it. That doesn't mean you are going to make it easy for him. You put on an innocent face, "Really?"

"Yeah, Taehyung-ah is right, you're like-" Jimin agreed, waving his hands around as he searched for the right word. "...glowing."

"I am not glowing." You said indignantly. Out of the corner of your eyes, you caught a smirk lifting on Jeongguk's lips. You turned and narrowed your eyes at him, "You, stop looking so smug."

"What does Jeonggukie have to do with-" Taehyung cut himself off and you could see how he put the dots together. The look on his face was hilarious as he turned to Jeongguk with a fierce gaze, "Jeon Jeongguk, what have you done to my baby sister?"

Jeongguk, despite being bigger and stronger, still looked a bit terrified of Taehyung as he squeaked, "Nothing, hyung."

"Nothing, hyung. Hah! Do you take me for an idiot? Something happened. I know it did. What is it?"

You giggled and leaned over to Jeongguk and whispered in his ear, "Don't tell him anything. Watching him squirm and drawing his own conclusions, slowly going insane with curiousity will be much funnier than telling him the truth."

Jeongguk brightened at your suggestion and immediately nodded in agreement.

"What are you two whispering about?" Taehyung demanded, voice higher than normal, despite having the deepest voice of the lot. "Hobi-hyung, tell me what they're saying."

"Sorry, Taehyung-ah, I can't hear." Hoseok said with laughter in his tone.

Yoongi and Jin came in with the food before Taehyung could interrogate you further. Taehyung looked before you and Jeongguk, "This isn't over."

You laughed, looking forward to teasing your brother a bit, when suddenly a hand slipped into yours. You looked at Jeongguk, who was steadfastly avoiding your eyes. You noticed his red ears and smiled softly, twisting your hand so you could lace your fingers through his. As the two of you held hands under the table while eating breakfast, you felt giddy and more excited about the future than you have in a long time.

There was still a lot you and Jeongguk had to talk about, but that was for later. You had enough time to figure it all out. Together.

the end.

[vivilove-jonsa]

I had me a girl

@jonsaseasonalbash

Day 5 prompt-Songs

Lyrics and title from 'I Had Me a Girl' by The Civil Wars

***

They all think they understand him just because they’ve listened to his music.  They don’t understand though.  They don’t know anything.

They think his muse, the inspiration for all his songs, must be someone from his past, someone who broke his heart once…or maybe he broke hers.

They don’t know the truth and they can’t because they’d never understand.  She’s not part of his past.  She’s not someone he can imagine ever cutting out or leaving behind, not really.

And, Jon Snow would cease to be some rock god in the making if they knew.  No one would even want to admit they’d ever known a single one of his songs or even knew his name if they learned the truth.

Every night, they chat and pretend it’s normal what they do.  Neither one is fooled.  Every night, he sinks deeper into a hell of his own making.  Maybe she burns too though.

He waits with bated breath for the connection to go through.  Wi-Fi is horrible at this hotel chain.  The chat connects and then…

“That’s a lot of pink.  Where the fuck are you, Sansa?”

She giggles, turns the phone around so he can see her face at last, the face that’s always haunting him whenever he’s alone in hotel rooms at night.

“Mama and I went shopping earlier.  I got a new comforter.  You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s, uh…pink.  How’s your mother?”

“Fine,” she says in a tone that tells him the topic isn’t open for further discussion tonight.  "I told her I'm getting my own place next month."

"Did you tell her how you're paying for it?"

"I'm doing alright and they don't need to worry about it.  I'm not a kid anymore."

Her mother’s a touchy subject, one Sansa usually avoids during their chats.  Cat’s no idiot.  She’s not fond of him in general and especially not fond of him being close to her daughter.  At least, she doesn’t know the whole truth.

Moving out is another difficult subject.  He's footing most of the bills but she'll still be in the same town as them and Jon can't just ignore that.

Sansa flops back on the bed, holding her phone up above her, letting that red hair of hers fan out all around her on the new pink comforter.  Those wisps of red hair which seem to outline every note he writes tease him as they fall back on her pillow.  He thinks of them blowing around her pink cheeks on the northern breeze.

She’s got his latest song playing in the background.  He wonders if she always has it cued up and ready for their nightly chat.  Does she know they’re all about her?

‘I had me a girl

who taught me those things

a young man should know…’

He adjusts the angle of his laptop to cut down on the glare from the table lamp.  He likes having her on the bigger screen.

She’s dressed for bed, wearing his old high school jersey.  He can see nearly all of her thighs like this.  She never wears any pajama bottoms, not when they’re talking.

“You look tired,” she comments, frowning.

“Long hours in the studio this week,” he says with a shrug.

“Anyone keeping you up late at night down there in the big city?”

She gets jealous.  She has no reason to be.  Maybe that’s part of the problem.  If he could find some girl around (there’s plenty of them down here who’d hook up with a rock star), if he could take one of them back to his room one night instead of calling her, maybe he’d stop obsessing over this girl.

Yeah, she’d be hurt and he knows he’d hurt too but then maybe they’d get over it and finally move on from this thing they do.

“No one’s keeping me up late ‘cept you.  What color’s your toenail polish tonight?”

She blushes so pretty for him, knowing what’s next.  They do this nearly every night when they chat.

Slowly, she lets her phone drift down those long legs of hers for him, she shows him every creamy inch, until she reaches her perfectly polished toes.

“Blue, huh?”  One hand drops down to adjust himself.  He’s already getting hard.  “That doesn’t match the comforter.”

The phone’s back up to her face.  “I didn’t paint them to match the comforter.  They match something else I bought today.”

“Oh?  Show me, baby.”

She grins, giving him that devilish little look he knows too well, the one he first saw when they were far too young and reckless and lucky not to get caught, the one that tells him Cat’s little angel is about to let her halo slip.

“Just these,” she says casually, pulling up his jersey to reveal a pair of panties, light blue and lacy.

His voice is like gravel when he tells her, “Those are pretty.  Are they soft?”

“Very soft.”

“As soft as what’s in ‘em?”

She shakes her head and he tells her what he wants her to do.

“You too, Jon.  I want to see you, too,” she says all whimpery and sweet.  His sweet girl, he misses her so much.  He’s going to stay up all night writing another song when they’re done maybe and tomorrow he’ll ask the guys to try it out in the studio with him.

But an unexpected, thundering knock on her door has her sitting up before they can really get started.  She shoves his jersey back down right as it opens.

“Daddy!  I was just chatting with Jon!” Sansa explains, voice high and nervous…not that the old man will notice.

Jon’s stomach churns when Ned Stark’s face leans into the frame.  That solemn face breaks into a grin once he sees Jon.

“How’s Kings Landing treating you, son?”

“It’s good, Dad,” Jon answers, hating himself, wondering if he’d rather scowl at the interruption or vomit because of all the things he wants to do with his daddy’s little girl tonight.

[herstarburststories]

tolerate it

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: your love for Dean used to be celebrated, but now he tolerates it.

A/N: here it is, hunters! First fic of the year, wow! I hope you guys like it! Based on Taylor's song tolerate it. Also requested by @ashleyygeza!

Warnings: so much angst, language, smut

There was this thing you always liked to do. It was mostly the learned behavior of a child that grew up in motel rooms. It was usual for the adult that called a bunker her home, too. You’d lay on your back, staring at the light on the ceiling and squint your eyes to the point the glimmering white light could be mistaken as the moon. You never thought you’d end up doing that to people as well.

It used to be something so sensual and sequin back then, but now the fact that he's so much older and wiser only makes you quiet. You see his bruised hands and worried glances; the stubble on his face growing as his sense of self starts to fade with borrowed time. Dean used to love you in screaming colors; now he just sits in silence reading with his head low, researching the next case under the dim light while you watch him. Sam can't seem to stand slow deaths either -- he just clears his throat and leaves the bunker with the empty excuse of a supply run. 

Still, you remain here. You stand still like a good ornament in Dean's collection of lovers. It seems like it's a matter of time until he leaves you too. Yet, you’re sitting and watching him, and you can't help but wonder if you aren't just another wrinkle on his face. You’d been a memory of something worth dying for, once, but now you were starting to believe you were just another battle scar; marred skin that had spent so long settling that he didn’t even notice the scarification anymore. 

Hours pass as quickly and emotionally draining as dry heaving. His huffs of annoyance and thirsty fingers of whiskey were difficult to ignore. The eldest Winchester doesn’t dare to approach you; to throw those dust-collecting books away and make love to you with dumbfounded grins and breathless groans like he had done so many times before. That was when you were a complete person and not just the husk of a lover destroyed. Once you held the strength of Jeanne d'Arc, now you sit and wait for a man to love you back. You’d be disgusted by your weakness if you had any pity left to spare.

If you look at someone too much you can confuse it with love. And if you already love someone and keep looking, you might waste all the rose-colored visions love could create. Maybe that's what happened to Dean. It’s a treacherous game, and it seems like he’s winning. Perhaps it’s your fault, your snide mind speculates against your will. You should try harder.

You don’t miss Dean’s hidden sigh of relief when the door makes a noise, announcing Sam’s return. How could you? You notice everything he does or doesn't do. At first, you fantasized that, even if it started getting messy before, he was pushing you away because of the whole fighting God problem, now you aren’t so sure. The clues were all over the place when Chuck was gone. Dean smiled at Sammy as if there was no tomorrow and said we’re finally free without sparing a glance at you. When they-- when he started building other worlds, where were you? That long-fraught, battle-ridden past of the Winchesters might be gone, but the more you try to turn the page, the more they stick to each other.

‘’Sammy,” his gruff voice says. It is the first word in hours that wasn’t half-hearted mumbles agreeing with your occasional comments or the tuneful hum of a classic rock song between reading and drinking. ‘’Did you bring any bacon?’’

‘’Yeah, but they need cooking--’’ Sam interrupts his brother, already familiar with this conversation. Dean’s half-open mouth and wiggling brows meant one thing. He was such a kid sometimes. ‘’And no. I’m not frying this cardiac embolism waiting to happen for you, dude.’’

You get up, aiming a smile at the long-haired hunter. ‘’Don’t worry, I can cook it. I was gonna make some pasta anyway.’’

Sam slightly nods before tilting his head towards you. ‘’You sure?’’

‘’Yeah. My butt’s already sore from the research. Those chairs aren’t that comfortable.’’ You scrunched up your nose with a good-humored grimace. 

‘’Okay, thanks.’’ You nod, throwing a last glance at Dean, who barely moved since you got in the conversation. You turn around, walking to the kitchen when Sam’s voice reverberated through. Deciding to overhear against all your sense of privacy, like a schoolgirl in the bathroom, you lean against the wall. You can’t believe the point you got to at those moments, but the answer to the question Sam asks may be the solution for your personal tophet. ‘’What’s up with you?’’

Dean doesn’t seem phased by his brother’s prodding. ‘’What do you mean?’’

Sam arches his eyebrows. ‘’No butt jokes?’’

At least you aren’t going crazy here. Even Sammy noticed something peculiar about Dean and you. There had to be an explanation or reason.; something broken that you could fix.

‘’I’m a grown-ass man, Sam.’’ He scoffs as you heard the chair being pushed. You nibble on your bottom lip, catching your breath as they continue.

‘’Yeah, sure,” the younger man snaps sarcastically. Dean rolls his eyes. ‘’Actually researching when I leave you two alone? Come on, Dean. Did you guys argue or something?’’

‘’We are just fine.’’ His boots scuffing against the wood floor makes a well-known melody, just like Sam’s loud sigh. You know him; he thinks this his brother’s way to avoid the subject and run away. You can’t say you don’t agree with that.

‘’Dean…’’

“I’m gonna take a shower. I spent two hours reading. I gotta get ready for my bacon.’’ It is a simple answer that made your heart spin like a girl in a brand new dress. You had the sudden realization that at least he spent those hours with you, right? Deadly in his quietude, but he was there. Women always are excellent at convincing themselves that crumbs are a whole meal. Therefore, convince yourself this is enough.

You hear the creaking under his strong, heavy steps as he leaves, and a couple more from Sam as well. Ultimately, you turn around, clapping your hands together as you glare at the food still waiting to be made. You give yourself a comforting smile as you speak: ‘’Time to get to work.’’

Then you go. You pace around the kitchen, preparing the lunch with everything you have. Make it perfect, make it delicious. Fuck, even make it deluxe with pre-made bacon and vegan pasta on a Tuesday afternoon. It’s so silly how you make such a lavish effort with the smallest things only to maybe catch a glimpse of his attention. As if Dean would see, truly look at you again. You gave him the best you had, and when you ran out of that, you gave him what was left too. 

The pasta is smelling good. You two used to be each other's better halves, but since the coin had been tossed, you are now each other’s worst reflections. He’s your coldness; the gelid nature that was so useful as a weapon to hurt those who came before him. The ignorance, the lack of care for the ones who claimed to cherish you with their ripped out chests and open hands. You can see you in the way he moved, told white lies and walked away. All the most brutal aspects that your soul built through the years. You almost burn your hand, but at least it isn’t his bacon. And in you, you hold all Dean hated in himself lately. The clingy behavior, always urging to serve and make someone else happy. So needy for a gentle touch, one single proof that his lurking was wrong and he was worthy, that he could be loved someday if he just tried hard enough. Desperate in earge for aprovation, just like you grabbing the Men Of Letters’ sumptuous tapestry and the elegant candle holder, laying the table with the fancy shit.

‘’Wow.’’ Sam says once he arrives in the dining room. Dean refrains his reaction to arching his eyebrows in an unspoken question: what the fuck is happening there?

‘’Is the queen visiting us or somethin’?’’ You catch the pissed off glare that Sammy gives him, yet the older Winchester just shrugs. His little brother had the same eyes as him in many aspects, he had to agree that all those snobby objects were too much.

Unbothered, too used to his butch nature, you chortle. ‘’I just thought we deserved some nice things tonight.’’

Dean hums before adding: ‘’As long as there’s bacon.’’

Sam praises how good the sauce you made tastes. Of course, Dean just nods and agrees with a grumble, not even taking a second glance at you. He doesn’t notice that you are watching him, neither does he compliment your cooking. You never get the reaction you expect from him. Not a thank you, or a true smile, or even a drop of love in the saliva of his kiss, but you keep trying. Just like he tried to make daddy proud for so long. You both should know that's not how it works, but who can argue with a broken child mosaic in an adult damaged heart?

The green eyed man purposely sets the scene in a manner that his brother would be between the two of you. And yes, you manage to double cross this signal and sit down on another chair by his side. Although, when your elbows accidently meet during the homemade feast, Dean doesn’t look at you with the lopsided grin that you love so much. He doesn’t lean in to steal a kiss. Instead, he moves to the side discreetly. You were the roots of hope once, the one who could grow inside him and wrap around his organs for some relief of the hematoma and blood. The Winchester held the arm that pulled you closer and made sure you would stay. But he no longer touches you and the plants died of thirst and you are still here. In these moments, your trick mind asks: why are you still here? You can’t answer.

The lunch goes by filled with your and Sam’s chatter, Dean’s loud chewing and Miracle’s ocasional barks until there’s no food or reasoning to postpone staying together. All the three of you raise up, adamantly ignoring the strange atmosphere. 

‘’We’re leaving in an hour.’’ It’s all Dean says before leaving the room. Sammy dares to squeeze your shoulder softly before following his older brother’s path. With a suspire, you collect all the plates and lead to the kitchen again, starting to put the 60 minutes to good use. Polish plates until they gleam and glisten, maybe Dean will sneak in and wrap his arms around you, press a kiss to your neck and tell you to go to bed, that he will take care of the dishes. He used to do that. This was then and this is now. It’s easy to get lost in the tangles of time.

Of course he doesn’t. Though the hunter shows up with a bag and shouts from the living room for you to hurry up, so you do. Sleeping in the backseat of Baby through the streets of the United States, you wake up with Sam gently shaking your shoulder. Dean is already inside the restaurant. You try not to think too much about it, he could’ve been needing to hit the bathroom or something. As you and the youngest Winchester enter the establishment, four trained eyes fall on your boyfriend and the waitress, who’s clearly leaning forward to make her cleavage more evident. You two pace towards the table just in time to hear the end of their conversation. 

‘’Call me if you need anything.’’ The name tag says that the brunette is called Andressa. She's tall, tan and beautiful, smiling in a way that you never can never conquer. You miss having that confidence, how you’d walk in a room and be sure people would stop and stare. Remember when you used to be like that?

‘’Betcha.’’ He gives her a lopsided grin, the one that used to be directed to you. Andressa winks at him and leaves, swapping her hips in the most seductive way, which catches Dean's eyes like it's the whole Aurora Boreal and not just a woman's ass.

‘’Nice shirt, yeah?’’ You take his indiscretions all in good fun. Dean, though, takes a deep breath and wipes his face, as if he's the one with the right to be annoyed in this situation. It's so stupid how you keep making yourself smaller to fit in whatever expection is comfortable for him. At some point you'll disappear-- but hey, no body no crime. You attempted to explain yourself, ‘’I was just kidding.’’

He tightens his mouth into a thin line. ‘’I know.’’

‘’I saw one on Shein.’’

‘’Come on, Y/N.’’ The green eyed hunter scoffed. ‘’That’s like, Belladonna’s boobs sort of thing.’’

It’s so stupid how his opinons can change your whole weekend, as if your emotions were some sort of board game that Dean played by his own rules. You hang your head low, playing with the menu. You can ‘’Yeah, you’re right. It was dumb.’’

‘’That’s not what I---’’ He stopped himself with a deep inhale. Why did it seem easier for him to criticize than compliment you? You are using your best colors for his portrait of stares, yet all you gain are vacant side eyes. That man killed for you, and now every second by your side seemed to be murdering him. ‘’You’d look good on it.’’

You decide not to go on the next hunt, give both of you a break from the grey skies that always seem to suppress you and Dean. What if you two just need time apart? You live together, work together, and even have the same group of friends. Putting the whole monsters and multiple deaths aside, it was pretty much like a normal relationship. You must just need some time alone to miss each other. So you start going on less and less hunts. God, past you’d hate that scared little girl act, begging to be seen like a shiny toy.

Your cell phone buzzes, causing a smile besides the burning anticipation building up in your veins, crawling under your skin like a million little stars, or bugs. It depends on how you choose the perspective, no surprise you’d go for the romantic one. Well, it's a text from Dean. Plaid and crude: getting home in ten minutes. Why’d you be unpleasantly anxious about that? He’s your boyfriend and he’s coming home after a week! Your fingers dance around the keyboard before answering a sweet waiting for you, with a couple hearts in the byline.

You get his favorite burger and a whiskey older than you in the Deancave, which is settled up with a three hours marathon of Scooby-Doo. It was always so adorable when Dean and you made bets to see who’d guess the episode villain first. Even his hot dog pants and his robe are on the armchair. As for you, you are waiting by the door like you’re just a kid, in a vat to greet him with a battle’s hero welcome. One, two, three, minutes piling up as uncountable as the hidden tears that you cry each week in after the city’s asleep. Let’s be fair, you should’ve seen this coming from a mile away. What was the last time Dean accomplished something he promised to you? He doesn’t even reply to your text message asking if he was okay. Minutes trapped into hours, and you’re sitting with your back to the wall, right next to the door he should have burst out long ago. Time’s ticking, your mind is so tired and your body is sore; it’s exhausting to love someone like this, so you take a rest when sleep wins your hopeful, unclever thoughts.

Dean arrives one hour later, an oral scarlet letter on his tongue that tastes like beer and unregrettable priorities, an apologist expression accompanied of a very grumpy-ish Sam as the door is pushed open. The short haired hunter purses his plump lips at the sad sight; you sleeping on the floor next to the door, probably waiting for him. Maybe he should've answered your text earlier and not just rolled his eyes and ordered another drink. What a suburban mistake for a Winchester.

Dean doesn't turn around to face Sammy; his brother made his opinion on that matter very clear during their roadtrip. Instead, his aching body just leans in and picks you up bridal style — that would've made him smile in the gentlest way his blood-stained mouth and sharp teeth could, eye dipping with joy and a silent promise for the future, but now that only gets a stoic expression as he walks towards your shared room. 

He dares to sigh. There you go, taking too much space and time. This might be a deceiving concept dappled with melancholic nostalgia, but to take space and time wasn’t a trouble before. Dean once worshiped the light-hearted emotion you could bring out his inner little monster - or his soul, whatever you wanna name it. The time wrapped around your finger as he was, and things were just good. Raw good. Yet, now he sees it; time’s always running, and so is him. It’s no surprise the heart he was holding fell and was left behind at some point of the race.

The hunter bumps on the door with his shoulder, leading inside the bedroom and placing you on the mattress. Your body can’t help but to cling to him as you mumble in your sleep; maybe it’s your fond memory, used to Dean’s body seeking some human contact only in the middle night.

Clicking his tongue, he pulls away. The movement is docile, just enough to wake you up. Dean can’t help but to groan at this.

‘’You came back.’’ You murmur, while Dean adjusts on the spot next to you in bed.

Arching his eyebrows with some comedic background, he answers: ‘’Of course I did. I live here.’’

Live. You wouldn’t call what he does living. More like a ghost hunting his old house when you are around. Or maybe you were the ghost and sure, most people would run away from it, but Dean always goes looking for the supernatural beings anyway. Unnerving that he’d make someone he loved out of one.

‘’Why didn’t you pick up the phone? I was worried.’’

He shrugs and kisses your hand. ‘’Was busy.’’

It’s a poor excuse, but those are all that have been holding you two together lately.

Here it is. Your inner anger for being treated wrong, the mad woman inside you scratching to come back. He has been treating you like a coat in Texas’ summer, like a stained flannel, like a forgotten feeling. You deserve more than this. You are so much more than this. Who he thinks he is?

But he has those green eyes that cried single man tears, and he’s so close you can feel his breath on your cheek. And you love that man so.

Instead, you smile and reach out for his hand. ‘’I missed you.’’

Dean doesn’t answer. He restricts any emotion to a grin, and suddenly you are under him. He pushes his lips against yours in a desperate act of recovery, to gain back what he somehow lost through the way. The green eyed man might not find his love in you, but there’s something else he can work with; luxury. Love was always harder to spell than lust anyway. To you, the way he howls against your lips is love. To him, it’s the confirmation of the absence of it. But he can’t let go.

Your hands and his, still together coaxing each other into giving in. It’s so easy that way. Dean rushes to rip your t-shirt, gaining a laugh out of your and a kiss to his jaw. He’s out of his pants before you can even pull away to assist him. The male catches your earlobe, kissing that sweet spot to make you whimper his name.

‘’Dean.’’

Your wince, his shirt is tossed away, just like your skirt. You aren’t wearing a bra, and quickly your cherry panties are pulled apart with a simple move of his finger.

‘’Gonna make you feel so good, babe.’’ His index finger is shoved inside your tight cunt. You throw your head to the back, spreading your legs open. You want to beg him to make you feel anything good, for him to be the reason of the holy and not hollow, just this once. ‘’You are so wet--’’ Another finger, they move inside of you in an attempt to find the right spot. ‘’So fucking tight for me. I’ve fucked you so many times and you’re still so tight.’’ Dean’s thumb caressed your clit as he licked his lips, relishing how you squirm and whine his name. What a good girl. ‘’Can’t wait to fuck you.’’

It doesn’t take much longer. The eldest Winchester quickly replaced his skilled fingers with his pulsating cock. His member begged to be inside you, squeezed by those warm and tight walls. Your pussy was always so good for him, taking him so nice. Dean moans at the sensation, his hand losing yours to hold the bedpost, his thrusting wildly against yours.

No more praising words, no more foreplay. He comes to get what he wants and you’re willing to give. He used to touch you like a priceless wine, now his hands are hustled and careless like you are just another bottle of cheap beer. Dean fucks himself into you and you can’t do anything but groan in pleasure. Sometimes the hurting can be delicious, too.

You crave more, though. Your hands, tiny compared to his, meet Dean’s back, nails digging into the bare skin in a reminder I’m here, you’re still mine. Your legs wrapped around his torso, which only caused his moves to go faster and more ferocious, destroying your needy cunt for any other. It feels so good to have him inside you, fucking you up to the point you are an inchorent ball of cum and sweat. He’s gonna get you there, it’s certain, Dean always does.

His thumb comes back to your vagina, digital press to your clit as he attacks your neck. You try to move your head and get those plump lips against yours, but he sounds like an animal, increasing his rhymin and sucking your tender skin.

Everything is so hurried and irrational and not intimate. He comes inside of you after your own release, marking you up with his orgasm. As soon as he’s dones, he crawls out of you and lays on his back. Sure, you come around and rest your weary head on his chest, but that’s what it is. Deep silence. Not the one where love or magic or whatever Aphrodite is made of fills the void and makes the lovers comfortable. No, this one is visceral, like a chuckle empty of joy. It’s like the tie of gold that tried you two were tangled and ripped. Your love should be celebrated, but he tolerates it. He tolerates everything you do. He tolerates your presence. 

The wrath sneaks in smoothly and astute. You aren’t just one night stand or a sweetheart. How can Dean act like you are? You lift your head and watch him breathing with his eyes closed. It’s so brutal, emotionally violent how you are aware that he’s only doing that not to have pillow talk. Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over your barbed wire? Easily misplaced by the one who threw your boundaries away and out the trap there nowadays. You made him your temple, you mural, your sky, now you’re begging for footnotes in the story of his life.

In the rare cracks of lucidity, you picture what would happen if you did what your old, better self would do. Dean appears to assume you are fine, but what would he do if you break free and leave you two in ruins, took this dagger in you and removed it, gain the weight of you then lose it? He was so comfortable with you. Maybe he didn’t think you would ever do that, but there’s just so much a woman with your determination and cleaverity can take. Believe, I could do it. You did it before with others. Sometimes you need to leave to breathe. Perhaps it's time. 

But then, he embraces you. Just like that, all your doubts and fears and bruises caused by his kisses are reduced to paranoia. You decide maybe you got it wrong somehow. Not even blinking at the thought that Dean enjoys cuddles. No, he’s pulling you closer and snucking his nose into your hair because he loves you. Convince yourself. You are majestic with lies, it gets surprisingly facile to tell them when you nuzzle into the Winchester’s neck like his smell is some sort of placebo.  

You aren't tiptoeing around it, or even stepping on the doubts with tiny hoaxes. You are barefoot on his love-- but his love feels a lot like walking through a street of fire and thorns. But hey, isn't that the point of devotion? To put something, someone first? To go through any suffering and starve to get to the prize, to walk through the golden gates? If this was a church, the priest would tell you to get on your knees and pray harder. You can see where he’s going. You’ll do better. Be everything Dean needs. You can be worthy-- you are worthy. You were his everything once and you can be that again. Pick up the soul tapestry he shrewd so unintentionally and patch it up. Most of those things must be in your head anyway, and if they aren't… Well. He will love you that deeply again, right? Right? It’s an echo. Right.

Tomorrow you’ll try again. In the name of love, condepedency, or whatever it is. Sit and watch him.

Comment & reblog. Feedback is magic! Check my masterlist ♡ Tags in reblog!

[maplecornia]

chapter 26

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 1.85K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: i don't think i'll ever get over how hot Namjoon is ;-;

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo

You groan as you lean against the pillar near the entrance to the BigHit building.

Last night, when Taehyung walked you back to your apartment, you didn't sleep very well. Turning to glare at your rather disheveled reflection in the mirror, you let out another groan.

Why did he have to show up? You were perfectly fine, things were perfectly normal, and then he had to screw up your heart all over again. Letting out a small scream, you throw a 3-second fit before leaning your back against the clear glass wall.

Sooner or later, you're going to have to go in.

Why can't it be later?

Letting out a guttural growl, you pull yourself off of the glass and head inside the building, stomping like a little two-year-old. You really don't want to see him today, you're afraid of what will happen if you do.

You don't want to fall.

Please God, don't let me fall.

Entering the building, you feel a bit more comfortable, not so out of place. Now, you have a purpose, a plan; a reason for being here. Smiling softly to yourself, you walk forward, this time nothing in your way. As you reach the receptionist's desk, you smile as you recognize Jojo behind it.

Playing coy, you knock twice on the desk before glancing away and holding your head in your hands. She glances up, ready to greet the newcomer but as soon as she sees your face, she breaks into a grin.

"Ah~ it's the snoozer, early today I see." You frown at the nickname but when she smirks your way, you can't help but grin like a giddy child. It feels good to have friends or at least the beginning relationships of one.

"I told you, the time was wrong." You pout, flopping on the desk and she laughs before preparing the schedule you need for Namjoon today.

"Mmhmm, and what happened yesterday? Was Mr. Kim too tired of waiting and told you to stay at home?" The mention of yesterday causes your grin to fade a little. With it comes the memory of Taehyung, and he starts to reenter your mind. Pulling yourself off the desk, you smile weakly, shaking your head.

"No, I had an injury, Namjoon wouldn't let me come in." She blinks a bit in surprise at the informal way you address him.

"'Namjoon?' Huh, I didn't think the two of you were that close. You only met once after all." She mumbles before typing something into her computer. Realizing your mistake you let out a small gasp.

"Oh, I'm sorry. He told me to call him without honorifics, I suppose it slipped my mind." You look away from her, a bit embarrassed, but as soon as she presses the print button, she chuckles.

"Don't worry, Yen. I was just joking." When you don't look at her, she sighs a bit before lightly knocking on your head. Surprised, you rub your forehead and pout as you meet her gaze once more. Smiling, she pays no mind, presenting you with an ID badge. Your eyes widen as you see it, and you take it from her waiting fingertips.

"Is this mine? I didn't think they'd process it so fast."

"Of course it's yours, whose else would it be?" Jojo chuckles, leaning over the counter and pointing to your name. "See? Lin Yen."

You bite your bottom lip, trying to suppress your grin. Somehow, this makes things all the more real, you can't help your delight at the sight. Jojo catches sight of the cute expression and can't help but laugh as she pulls away.

"Now hurry up, the schedule is all ready for the day. Don't forget to check in with the head manager, you remember his name right?" She reminds you, making you pause for a moment before you run off.

"Of course, it's Kim Sejin. Everyone knows that." She smiles at the coy response and waves you away.

"Okay, hurry up and go then. I'm sure Mr. Kim is waiting for you." You bow to her before taking off, a small bounce to your footsteps.

Walking through the halls without Namjoon is a bit scary, but exciting at the same time. You can't help but love the butterflies coursing through your stomach, and is it weird that you kind of want to barf and dance at the same time? Everything is so exciting and new, it's as though the world has been painted a different color.

You try your hardest to forget everything, just live in the moment as of right now. No more worries about the past. About your friends. About your mom. About Taehyung. Right now, you need to focus on yourself.

And this job seems like the perfect escape for that.

Humming slightly to yourself you do a little twirl in the hallway before turning the corner...

...and bumping right into Kim Namjoon.

You let out a small shriek, stumbling back, your body shrinking into a small protective ball like it normally does. It's a little defense mechanism you've acquired over the years. Your eyes closing themselves tightly, you don't realize who you've bumped into until he takes you by the shoulders and catches you mid-air.

Blinking as he rights you, you look up and find yourself face to face with your boss.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice coated with worry, and you chuckle a bit nodding sheepishly.

"Yes, I'm sorry I should've been paying attention to where I was going." You reply, stepping back from him. Though he sighs in relief as he releases you, you find that there’s a heavy cloud hanging over his head. He’s not fully there with you, lost in some unforgotten thought. Furrowing your brow in confusion, you wonder what happened to make him look that way. You open your mouth to ask him about it, but he's already speaking, and your words fall on deaf ears.

"It's a good thing that I bumped into you." You tilt your head in expectation, curious to what he's about to say next. "I needed to talk to you."

"But your schedule isn't ready yet--"

"That can wait."

You open your mouth to protest, but he's already taken you by the hand and is dragging you down the hallways.

Even though you cry out incomprehensible questions and sounds of alarm behind him, he can't seem to hear you. He doesn't want to hear you. His mind is too cluttered with the events of yesterday.

The outlandish plan that BangPD has in store for you.

-

"Why her?" He asks, his hands clenching tightly at his sides.

After the meeting, BangPD requested to meet privately with Namjoon, after all, he was the leader and one of the people that Sihyuk trusts the most. It didn't matter to RM anyway, he needed to talk to Sihyuk as well, and if it had to be on his terms then so be it.

Bang Sihyuk glances outside at the setting sun, casting shadows throughout his office. Serene and insoluble, shadows meant to conceal that which he would rather keep inside. He sighs before answering, his hands secured behind his back as he stands before the massive glass window.

"You know, BTS wouldn't have existed without you. If I had never come across you that day, if I had never been inspired to create a group that will strengthen and invigorate your music, we would have never gotten here." Namjoon glances at him in frustration. He hates when people beat around the bush, but his respect and humility won't allow him to speak out against his senior.

"It's the same with her."

Bang Sihyuk reaches out and taps on the window before letting out a soft chuckle.

"Did you know that glass is so easily broken? That is, when it's on its own. But when you fortify it, when you strengthen it with multiple pieces, then it becomes indestructible." Turning around to face Namjoon, he smiles.

"Almost Bulletproof."

Biting his bottom lip, Namjoon remains silent as he watches BangPD walk to his desk and sit down. He raises his brow when Namjoon remains standing, but when it's clear that he has no intention to make himself at home, he merely sighs.

"She auditioned before, you know. For the BE:LIFT project, for Source Music, she even auditioned for Plus Global." Namjoon balks at that. This is new information to him. He knew that it was her dream to be a singer, but never did he know that she wanted to be an idol. Especially since she's a foreigner, that would be near to impossible. "I didn't accept her."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to share her."

At the explanation, Namjoon turns away, running his hand across his face in frustration. This is much more complicated than he thought. Somehow, she's been connected to the company for the longest time. Not just through Jaejin, not through him himself, not even through Jungkook or Taehyung. Before any of them had a chance to see her potential, she's been on the mind of their former CEO since she auditioned 5 years ago. For a program, she would never be able to succeed in.

"I have been planning this for a while, Namjoon."

He's unwilling to accept it, he can't accept it.

"She's the missing piece."

-

At the thought, his hand clenches subconsciously around yours.

He can't stand the thought of you disappearing far from his reach.

And yet, almost against his will, he finds himself bringing you to the very fate that will keep you from him.

Perhaps forever.

He pauses when the door comes into his line of vision. Almost as though he were afraid of what lies behind that very same door. Mrs. Kwon looks up from her desk as the two of you enter the small lobby, and presses a button on her phone before muttering incomprehensible words to a person on the other line.

Out of breath, you place your hand on your chest before looking up at him. At the sight of his set jaw, and stony eyes, you can't help but feel a bit worried.

What exactly happened to make him look that way?

Once more, you open your mouth to speak to him, but Mrs. Kwon interrupts and you look at her in surprise, not noticing she was there.

"You may go in."

Confused, you turn to Namjoon, but all he does is give a nod to the secretary before stepping towards a massive oak door. Curious, you peer around him to glance at it, not quite aware of your surroundings. There's a small plaque on the door, one that reads the name of the person residing within in perfect neat letters.

방시혁

Bang Sihyuk.

Your heart stopping in your chest, you freeze halfway to the door, your hand slipping out of Namjoon's.

"Namjoon, why are we here?" you try to keep the fear, the anxiety, the worry out of your voice, but the efforts are futile. He swallows hard, steadying himself before turning to you, his warm eyes soft and apologetic.

"He wanted to meet you."

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: you can probably guess what will happen next, but nonetheless i'm exciiiited

chapter 27 here

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[wornoutmouse]

Dio x black reader (18+)

Honestly, this is just my headcanon of Dio experiencing black girl magic for the first time. And throughout re-reading it I can't tell if I'm supposed to be horny, moved, or amused. I think this is my longest one

Chav: White Trash/Low ClassLove

Divots: Love handles but I wanted to be fancy

You were a cop that loved your job no matter the hardships.

Walking the streets of England was risky business as both a woman and a person of color so you had experienced numerous close calls with criminals that didn't take your training seriously. Your co-workers were peaceful enough, but you didn't miss the lustful glazes you would receive as you walked through the office every morning. Your boss, on the other hand, was a menace. Ever since you denied his advances when you first arrived, he's been making it his mission in life to make your life miserable. 

He, of course, was the reason you were standing outside at 11:00 in the night shivering under a night post. "That bloody chav, just wait till I move up in ranks!" you growled wrapping your trenchcoat tightly around your body as a soft gust of wind blew against you. 

The wind howled past your ears and for once you were glad for wearing your nautural hair out today as it braced fiercely against the strong winter winds. The night was quiet as everyone in their right mind had headed inside for the night but you couldn't help but feel as though eyes were trained on you. "Must be my nerves acting up again." you muttered rubbing your gloved hands together. You huffed causing cool white air to form in front of you. 

"Meow."

Shifting where you stood, you look around with only your eyes, trying to find the source of what you hope to be a newfound friend. A few feet to your right stood a thin tom cat walking hesitantly towards you. You crouch lowly, opening your coat to the feline, "Join me oh furry one, let us share our life source with each other!" 

 You chuckle at your own foolishness but stop as you watch in amazement as the cat seemed to be convinced as it stalks towards you. The cat was within your very grasp but before you could grab it, it jerked its head to gaze behind you, hissing with its back arched before it scampered off. "Huh, that's funny." 

 You stand back up before yelping as you back into someone standing behind you. "Oh excuse me." you say stepping to the side. "No need for apologize woman." a deep voice responds to you. The man was tall and you had to crane your neck just to simply gaze up at him. 

 Blue eyes gazed down at you through golden locks that fell beautifully over his face. Even though he had shown no sign of hostility, you felt great unease by simply standing near him. "Your declaration of neutrality for the cat moved me deeply." the strange man declared, and you couldn't help but giggle awkwardly at the obvious joke. "Yeah well, during times of need it's best to set aside differences." The man raised his hand to his chin in thought. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

 The man had yet to leave as his gaze became even more unsettling. His eyes traveled down and settled on your curvacious hips. "Um, can I help you sir?" you ask backing up slightly only for the tall man to evade the space once again. Under his breath, you could hear the man mutter, "Yes, you are perfect." 

You look up at the man one more time as your eyesight begins to fades to black.  

 When you came to, you find yourself lying down on a bed that was not your own. You were dressed loosely in nothing but a silk slip and you could feel goosebumps along your skin from being exposed to the cool air. "Wha-what?" You jerk your head at the shift in movement to your right. At first glance, you couldn't see anything residing in the dark shadows of the room. But having years of experience with being in dark places, your eyes quickly adjusted as you noticed the unfamiliar ways the shadows blended together.

 You stare blankly into the darkness, positive that something resided within the cover of it. You suck in a breath as you feel a small shift in temperature move past your face and you quickly turn your face to the other side of the room.

"As I thought, you adjust quickly to your surroundings." a voice rumbled from the darkness and you could hear your heart thump in your ears as two bright red eyes peered at you from the end of the bed. You brought your legs to your chest as you felt the bed dip. You watched with fearful eyes as your assailant crawled towards you. From the darkness, a hand reaches out at lightning speed taking hold of your ankle, dragging you towards them. "What do you want?!"

As if oblivious to your agitation, a calloused hand takes hold of your thigh, gripping the large expanse of skin tightly. "While you are larger than preferred, I assume it is a given if I desire a woman with hips wide enough to effectively deliver me respectable offspring." You sputter as you feel your face warm, "Offspring?! What in the hell are you talking about you deviant!" You attempt to throw a punch only for your wrists to be taken captive by much larger ones. "This temper of yours may be a problem however." The man chuckled, "Though I supposed that too is a given due to your, 'ethnic' background." You glare through the darkness up at the deranged man, "You have some nerve." 

As if finally acknowledging you as a sentient being, he gazes up at you, eyebrows furrowed and red glowing eyes determined. "Young woman, fear not and rejoice for you have been chosen for the highest honor imaginable!" You tense as the man comes closer to your face, 'Damn it, it's always the pretty ones.' you silently think to yourself. Though there was a large shift in eye color, this was indeed the man you met outside.

 "You have been chosen personally by I Dio Brando! To become his queen in the new empire I shall forge in my own image!" 

 Many emotions flowed through your mind at that bold statement, but in the end, humor won out as you burst into laughter in the man, Dio's face. Dio tilted his head in slight confusion before moving on, dawning a triumphant face one again.

"I know not what you find amusing, but I am ready to implant my seed deep inside your womb!" At that, you suddenly realize the reality of the situation you were in, "You can't be serious, release me now!" Dio chuckled humorously, "It is okay to feel frightened, but I assure you, I will make this pleasurable for you as well." You open your mouth to retort, Dio, serges forward latching onto your lips with painful passion. You feel a shiver journey up your spine as Dio's larger hands hold your waist squeezing your love divots.

Dio releases you from his lip-lock with a loud smack as a thin strand of saliva connects the two of you. You blink; slightly dazed as you take in Dio's equally as flushed face, "What's the matter playboy? Cat got your tongue?" Dio frowned at your teasing as he shifted in place, "Have you somehow cast a spell on me? There is no other way to explain how someone with such prestige as me could possibly become undone by a simple kiss."

 Dio serges forward once again capturing your plump lips into his own with such fervor, you would think he was searching for something. You moan softly into the kiss as Dio's tongue explored your mouth, caressing every inch of it with purpose. Tugging your lower lip in between his teeth as he retreats. He looks at you for a while with visible confusion before speaking again, "The only other answer for this is obvious. You were bestowed onto me by the gods carved perfectly to aid me on my journey" 

 You quirked an eyebrow as you breathe shallowly, mind seemingly clouded with your newfound lust. "I don't know much about what your babbling on about, but I'll let you carry on." You fell back as you are folded over by Dio, legs propped high in the air. "Though I feel that cunnilingus isn't needed for the task at hand, I hold the desire to taste you." You roll your eyes as you listened to the monologue 'Dio' declared to himself.

Internally, you knew that this was a bad idea and only evil could follow you in being involved with this man but some unseen force was keeping you from resisting as you lied compliant under the larger man. Maybe he was right and 'the gods' placed you here for a purpose. Or maybe you were drugged. The most obvious answer, though you hate to admit, was the fact that you hadn't gotten laid in so long, you were willing to accept charity cases.

 

Dip looked down at you with an emotion that even I, the author am unable to describe. While I would love to say it was fondness, that just wasn't possible for how short of a time you've known each other. The only other word I can think out would maybe be admiration. 

 Dio was one to go above and beyond putting his heart into everything he did, but your simplicity aroused him so greatly it was rather concerning. Your attitude towards him ensured that you would be the perfect queen when he molded you accordingly. Your looks were only a bonus, slender legs heightening your perspective making you at least 6 feet in height though that was no novelty considering his large build. 

Plump lips with a curious sliver of pink covering the entrance of your bottom lip as they parted so beautifully. The taste of them sent his head spinning as if he was addicted, the best kind of addiction. Your skin though shrouded in darkness, shined so brightly in the moonlight that he would have thought you were glowing with an otherwordly power. Dio once again bows his head and captures your luscious lips within his to experience the euphoria once again.

 He may have said that you should be honored to be in his presence but at the moment he felt the greatest honor for being one of the few and one of the last men that would be allowed to bed you. The small whimpers you released as he explored your mouth tasted like the sweetest nectar. He released you and watched your breast heave from the passion he released. 

 He would never admit to these claims but at that moment Dio looked as if he had struck gold as he pulled up your slip and kissed into the crevices of your stomach. You shiver as more skin was exposed to the cool air and you would have sworn Dio was even colder. "If you would, please allow me to taste you." 

Your eyes widened for even you could tell that this manner of speaking was not the norm for Dio. His face was unusually flushed as his red eyes gazed up at you pleading for your permission. "Carry on." was all you said before he continued on his journey, kissing your inner thighs which to your horror, were bare as the day you were born. "Sir, may I ask where my undergarments reside?!" you ask thoroughly embarrassed causing Dio to dawn that shit-eating smirk he has carried since the moment you met.

 "I saw no point to them as I knew they would be off soon enough." You pouted as Dio peppered kisses on your navel before finally licking your clitoris with his rather rough tongue. Dio felt as though he reached Nirvana as he drank in your pleasured moans. The taste of you on his tongue was like the finest wine and he couldn't tell if it was from his carnivorous attributes or were you truly a diamond in the rough. 

 You grip the sheets below you as Dio used his tongue to caress your folds before delving deeper into your warm heat. Dio had long since grown used to the feeling of being cold but the way your warmth surrounded him made him miss the feeling. Internally he debated with himself if this is what love felt like or if this was just the effects of having your thick thighs clamped around his head. While feasting, Dio couldn't help by growl lowly as your nimble finger-combed through his hair only to clench as he made a peculiar lick to your upper walls.

 Feeling satisfied for now he sits up chuckling at your whine as you reached out for him. "I was not going to undress more than necessary for this but I feel as though you have earned it my pet." Dio removed his jacket and shirt exposing his impressive muscles. You salivate thinking of the power behind each pectoral that would now be used on you. 

Dio once again takes hold of your legs, but instead of positioning to enter you, he lifts you off the bed holding you in his arms. "I shall honor this experience by trying a position I have never done before."  You are slightly woozy from the shift in elevation as you wrap your arms around Dio's neck with such a force and normal man would have cried out. 

 (but not dio cause he isn't like other girls)

 Dio kisses you as he presses a hesitant finger inside of you. You moan as he trails kisses down your neck. He was extremely hesitant to even nibble you due to his fangs but the way your looked drowning in pleasure was too great to not take advantage of. You jump as you feel something sharp pierce your neck but not deep enough to draw blood. You spasm on his fingers as your first orgasm takes over you. "God yes!" Dio smirked at your blissed face as he once again takes your lower lip into his mouth.

 "Yes, thank your God for giving you such satisfa-" before he could finish, you lifted yourself and wrapped your legs around his neck, putting all your weight on him in order to cause him to fall back on the ground. "Don't ruin this please." You say looking down at him. 

Dio couldn't look more in love as he takes hold of your ass molding it in between his large hands. You scoot down to Dio's still clocked cock. Massaging it gently, before reaching in and pulling it out, you release a loud gasp at the sight. His cock was enormous, far bigger than any you had seen before. "Don't look so surprised my dear, from now on only expect the most of me." 

You gulp shallowly as you shyly lick the shaft trying to find a way to lube the monstrosity. Dio grits his teeth and closes his eyes as a way to truly feel the pleasure you were delivering to him. You knew you couldn't take him all the way in but damn it if you weren't going to try. As you sucked down, you felt a hand come to rest on your head pushing you forward as Dio grunted. "Take it pet, you can do it." 

You whimper as you feel the head of his cock touch the back of your throat and continuing down. You do your best to breathe out your nose since it was obvious that Dio wasn't letting you stop anytime soon. You had only a little left to go but you knew you wouldn't be able to so you tapped out. Dio smirked grabbing your waist and sitting you down on his cock. Briefly, you rock back and forth covering it in your fluids before you feel like your ready.

"Because you've been so good for me pet, I'll allow you this gift though I personally feel that simply being in my presence you should be wetter than the ocean!" in his had, there is a small box containing a flask. "Alcohol?" you asked sniffing lightly over the entrance. Before you can raise the drink to your lips, Dio snatches it away, "It's oils my dear." you laugh a little scratching the back of your head.

 Dio's face reddened from the sound of your laughter but he shook his self out of his stupor before you could notice. Taking the lube back, you pour a generous amount on your hand before massaging it along with Dio's cock which had now turned a bit pink from being unattended for so long. "How long is this thing?" you mutter silently to yourself making Dio smirk flicking his hair haughtily. "I don't think I should tell you for your mortal mind would not be able to comprehend its glor-" Dio choked on his words quickly reaching out to hold your plush thighs as you slid down a 5th of the way on his cock. 

"Sl-Slow down, pet, w-wouldn't want you to hurt yourself!" Dio moaned as you lightly bounced holding your thighs in a vice grip. Throughout the dark and empty room, you could the high moans you released as you slowly but surely impaled yourself further. "D-Dio, I'm tired!" you stuttered out taking time to catch your breath. "Good." was all Dio said before he began fucking up into you pushing the rest of his member inside of you. 

 Tear's welled up in your eyes as you felt as if you were being split into by his brute strength. You fell forward on Dio's chest having no strength left in your body to hold yourself up as his pelvis slammed into you rhythmically. "Feel me. Feel as your body molds itself perfectly for my cock!" Dio grabs your arms and yanks them back forcing you to sit up and bounce on his cock subsequently making him sheath deeper into you. "Christ!" you cried out as you felt his cock reach impossibly deep inside of you. Your walls trembled with each push of your cervix.

 You were dripping limitlessly on Dio's stomach as your fluids combined together in a swirl of emotion. An emotion so great, neither of you could deny what was there. The way that this otherwise complete stranger was enraptured with you as he watched you boil over with ecstasy was an emotion unmeasured by any science the world would ever be able to come up with. "I'm coming!" Dio declared as he slammed your hip down as he reached his peak, spilling his seed deep within you just as he promised. You shiver as you felt a new kind of warmth filling you to the brim. Dio bends towards you, once again taking your lips within his as he circles your clit bringing you to a satisfying orgasm.

[imsofthelp]

Katsuki Bakugou x reader

Category: angst, fluff

Warnings: cursing

A.N This was originally supposed to be done much sooner, but i'm just lazy like that, so here u go. Huge thanks to @velvet-kissesss for editing this so fast!! 🥰🥰

*~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

You tried to look away from the mirror, from your reflection that reminded you of everything that was going to happen just a moment later.

You focused on the wallpaper - blue hues were painted into the shape of waves that looked as if they crashed here, forever trapped in one moment. You couldn't help but feel the same, trapped in a moment that you couldn't escape.

You took in the view of the creaky old floor with an expensive yet tattered pattern of golden flowers. Your eyes drank in the view of small rays of sunshine that seem to bounce from one place to another.

As much as you wanted to avoid it, your body seemed to betray you as you turned to fully face your reflection. You looked flawless. Although it was a true irony as it was the most miserable day of your life. A most miserable day yet, probably.

The strapless white dress was made from the softest of materials, it reached the floor and resembled dove wings while hugging your figure perfectly. A corset was adjusted to make your waist look impossibly thin but it only made your burning lungs even harder to fill with air.

Lifting your head up, you put two fingers on your tear ducts to try contain tears from spilling and ruining your too flawlessly done makeup.

You didn't want this. Any of this. You didn't ask to be born with a powerful quirk. You didn't ask to marry a man with quirk that was deemed 'compactable' with yours to make perfect, hero worthy babies when combined.

All you ever wanted was to finish U.A with the best grades and then become a hero. To save people, to help those in trouble and to always be an inspiration for heroes yet to be.

You blinked. Then blinked a few more times. Sorrow clouded your mind, making you relive your happiest memories on replay again and again, as if your mind wanted to torment you - to put 'that's what you're losing' right in your fucking face.

You reminisced about your first meeting with a certain blonde-haired boy. You recalled your first date, looked back on the first kiss and awkward first sex. Your searches for an affordable apartment for starting heroes like you two and your late night talks. Everything. Everything was bright and clear in your mind.

You hated them. You hated them for forcing you into this. You were powerful, hell, they wouldn't of been able to make you comply. That's what you thought at first but... when they threatened to hurt Katsuki, everything was done.

All the stubborness, all the mean things you had to say and an offer to shove that proposal up his ass was erased as if it never even crossed your mind.

You could marry a man you didn't love. You could learn to live with the constant dolor of letting go your dreams and your career that had just started. You were fine with leaving your old life behind as long as... as long as he was safe. You loved him so much it hurt sometimes. You loved him so much that you could give up everything for him.

It didn't matter. Not anymore at least. You couldn't change your mind right now. Not when there were only five minutes left until the ceremony started. Five minutes until you stepped out there all dolled up with a fake smile as his companion, waving and smiling to all these people that thought you truly loved the man you were marrying.

Your dress was like dove wings... Ironic how doves are meant to be free, free to go wherever they want. Yet here you were about to be trapped by a fancy ring on your finger and your own words 'I do'.

You counted the minutes. Your heart thumping harder with every tick of the clock, almost as if it was threatening to burst through your ribcage.

When there were only two minutes left and you were struggling to calm yourself, you heard a silent knock on the door.

At first, you thought the knock came from the front door of the room. It could’ve been someone already inviting you to go, but no. It was at the emergency escape door.

You couldn’t even get to the door, almost tripping on your shitty fancy dress on the way when the door burst open and hit the wall.

There he was as real as in your memories - blond hair messy refusing to stay in any other style, his signature skull shirt and black sweats on, stance intimidating, his whole body tense and ruby red eyes radiating nothing else but pure fury. Bakugou fucking Katsuki.

Seeing him made you question your eye sight or even more, sanity.

"Katsuki-" you managed to blurt out, feeling light-headed.

"We're leaving, get out of the stupid dress." he commanded, not explaining anything further, just tossing you a pair of sweats and a hoodie. Your sweats and hoodie.

"What-? Katsu, we can't just do that, I-"

He snickered, looking at the clock then looking back at you.

"You think I'm just going to let you give your life to some shitty extra with a powerful quirk, just because he and your parents want to?" he asked, arms that were in his pockets beginning to shake, his muscular arms tensed. "Over my dead fucking body, and I'm really hard to kill, princess." he managed to make something similar to a smile. "Now hurry, we don't want to cause a scene." With every word of his, you were more and more stunned.

"But... but they're going to hurt you if I don't do this! I would kill myself if anything happened to you because of me!" you said, clenching your clothes to your chest as you tried to keep your tears at bay.

"Deku will become the number 1 hero before they hurt me, babe."

You wanted to believe him. Oh god how you wanted to believe him.

Damn, what made you think he could be defeated at the first place? Who made you so sure that you could just give your life to someone you hated? Not for who they were, but for simply taking the right to make your own decision away from you.

Katsuki's look was quite unreadable. A mix of anger, re-assurance and confidence.

He raised his much bigger hand, taking your own into his to brush your hand lovingly with his thumb.

At that moment, you got all the confidence you wanted. He was your future. He was the one you loved the most and Bakugou was the one that made you braver. The one who made you say,

"Fuck it... Let's go."

His eyes lit up, a cocky smile finding its way to his face as if he knew that this would be your final choice from the start.

You turned, asking him to unzip the shitty, fancy dress but the feeling of his hand on your back almost made you break into sweat. This was wrong.

This was dangerous. You stripped out of the dress, the smooth, expensive material falling to the ground as if was a useless piece of fabric made for cleaning the floor. It felt satisfying as if you had nothing to worry about anymore. As if it was the only burden that kept you from running away from your own wedding.

You sighed, your mind running so wildly in your head almost making it hurt. You knew that this was gonna end up badly but here you were, letting him untie the ribbons of the corset and finally being able to take full breaths while watching him throw it to the other side of the small dressing room.

"These fucking assholes really just made you wear that fucking shit? It looks like it could crush your fucking ribs." he commented, frowning.

Your heart fluttered in your chest, a slight sigh of relief escaping your lips knowing that the corset didn’t make you any more attractive to Bakugou.

You slipped on your sweats before Bakugou made you turn to him, looking you up and down, making your face flush red since you were standing just in your sweats and lacy white bra.

"So you put this fancy shit bra on just for that asshole?" he asked, hues of hurt and jealousy painting his voice a different color than what you were used to. “Were you planning to have sex with him?” he asked, tone as casual as if he was asking what was for dinner tonight. Still, the way his teeth were subtlety clenched made what he was feeling clear.

"Ah, I-"

Warm arms circled around your body, pulling you close against his heaving chest as you could feel the slight tremble of his embrace but didn’t say anything about it, not wanting to make him feel worse than he already felt.

You closed your eyes, wanting to stay like that. Not bothering about the time.

Katsuki littered your jawline with unusually soft kisses, tracing shapes onto the small of your back in calming motions.

His lips trailed down your neck, soft and loving pecks turned into a passion that would definitely leave a mark. You tilted your head back, giving Katsuki better access as you softly caress his hair, tugging it caused him to groan.

When he was so close you could smell the lingering smell of caramel filling all your senses, making him feel so real.

Your breaths were sharp and short and suddenly he bit down, making you gasp but he swallowed all your protests by putting his lips on yours with teeth softly biting your bottom lip, demanding entrance.

You immediately parted your lips, letting his tongue explore your mouth to fill it with the lingering taste of sweet rum he must’ve drank earlier, making your head dizzy.

His hands explored your waist, one going up to caress your clothed breast.

You buried your fingers deeper in his surprisingly soft hair, tugging it, making the kiss even deeper as your tongues were fighting for dominance. Neither of the two wanted to give each other the satisfaction of winning.

The need to breathe was pushed to the back of your mind, afraid that if you let go, everything you had at this moment will shatter. A lingering feeling of irrational fear made you afraid to open your eyes.

Finally, you two parted with string of saliva that connected your lips still it broke. You could almost hear him murmur a quiet ‘i love you’ in his usual gruff voice.

The dream you so desperately held on, the one that felt so real it made your heart throb, was broken by a loud ‘you may now kiss the bride’ from the priest. You could only catch the heartbroken gaze and bittersweet smile of Katsuki as you were kissed by a man you hated and the crowd broke into cheers.

You had the first dance, thanked all the people for congratulating you and cut the cake as you tried to look at your new husband as lovingly as possible. It was partly because of the look you had to keep up, but partly because you thought that if you imagined hard enough, you could almost pretend it was your Katsuki.

Soon you got tired of all the people and told your husband that you needed to get some fresh air.

It was already dark as you closed the door to the hall where the ceremony was held, escaping from everyone with only quieted down music that was the wouldn’t let you forget you about what was still happening inside.

The fact that there were no people out here made you feel lonely as you crept through the garden that was buried in the silent tones of some shitty pop song.

In distance you saw the small light of a lighter flicker and then the most handsome face, recognizable to the point it hurt, lit by a light of a cigarette.

With a few short strides you reached Bakugou. His expression was unreadable, top of his top unbuttoned and tie already untied.

“I thought you wouldn’t come.” you finally said, breaking the unbearable silence that lingered between you.

Katsuki let a line of smoke leave his mouth, looking you straight in the eyes,

“Yeah, I was surprised myself.”

Your gaze was turned downwards, almost in shame. You couldn’t look back into his ruby red eyes without a scorching red pain burning through every nerve of your body.

You didn’t say anything as you wrapped your hands around him, feeling him stiffen in your embrace. It almost made you jump back, your thoughts racing. Maybe he didn’t want to hug you. Maybe he didn’t want to even see you. Maybe-

That’s when he wrapped his arms around you in a protective manner, the smell of caramel with a hint of cigarette smoke taking you away. The feeling made yourself tear up.

Bakugou took a step back as soon as he felt your tears wet his shirt. You quickly tried to wipe every trace of them away, but he took the cigarette out of his mouth, stomping the butt and softly wiping your tears away with his thumb, his expression softening.

“Hey, hey, you okay?” his voice was so unusually soft it made you tear up all over again. You couldn’t answer his question. You were afraid that as soon as you spoke he would disappear all over again.

He softly took your face into his hands, his thumbs stroking the tear stained skin carefully.

“Y/N, please answer me.”

“Before he kissed me... before he kissed me I imagined you... we were kissing and you- you were so real and then-” you managed to whimper out before sobs rocked your whole body. Bakugou took you into his embrace, his arms wrapping around your body, one stroking the small of your back comfortingly. “You dissappeared. You said you’d run away with me and then- then you disappeared.”

Katsuki littered your skin with small kisses, making you wonder if the experience was real this time. It couldn’t be fake this time too, right? Everything felt far too real now, you could even hear the rhythmic sound of his heart thumping as he held you close.

“I’m real and I’m not going anywhere.” he assured, kissing the tip of your icy cold nose as you wrapped your trembling hands around his neck. “You said we wanted to run away in the dream you had, right?”

You managed to nod with the hot breaths of your lover tickling the skin of your neck.

“Well what if I told you that we can make that come true?”

[vanchlo]

The Partner / Chapter Fourteen, "The Ten"

Word Count: 5.9k words /  Story Masterlist /  Read The Assistant /  Read on Wattpad / Warning: Sensitive and upsetting topics

I wasn't sure what had brought me here. It had felt like yesterday since I'd shut this door last, even if weeks had passed since. I'd never been able to shut it on that day and I knew that I wouldn't be able to, not fully.

"Babe! Are you ready to go? We're going to be late for the meeting," a voice calls from down below. Gulping hard, my heart stays stuck in my throat at the sight before me. It hadn't been the only one this morning that was hard to swallow.

"Coming!" The upstairs guest bedroom door closes behind me. I can't help but look at it over my shoulder, still unsure of why I had come up here. "We're not going to be late, Harry! When was it that you started to become so anal about being early?"

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he doesn't attempt to hide the way his eyes roll at my remark. They finally settle on me, registering my eyebrow raise I challenge him with.

"Since you take fricken forever to get ready in the mornings, and the boss needs to be early," he tuts, nodding his head towards the front door. I hadn't noticed before how he holds it open, but now, the spring sunshine is unmistakable. "Come on already. I put our stuff in the car while you were dilly dallying upstairs. What were you doing up there anyways? It took me a few times to get your attention."

We'd long ago passed the time of saying 'thank you's for holding doors open, but habit aside, I still say it. Pulling the seatbelt across my chest, I ruminate on his question as he messes with the radio beside me. I'd become a master at being able to tell when his eyes were on me, and right now was no exception, because when I glance over at him, he's doing just that. The words hesitated on my tongue because at times I still found it hard to talk to him about her. We shared her and the grief around her. There was nobody else in this world who could know how I felt about her besides him, but the struggle persisted.

Avoiding his eyes had been my go-to when I didn't want to answer him. I did it now but it didn't serve me well, because of what I find instead. It seemed that nearly every time my eyes came upon it, it was impossible to not trace the curves of ink. It had lived on the inside of my wrist for over two weeks now and I still hadn't gotten used to it. When I thought that way, I realize I was never one to get used to things. My mother's abuse. Harry's coldness towards me in the beginning, only to be changed into sporadic softness. Then we became friends and something more, and it was hard to wrap my head around. He got hurt and I almost lost him, and it was something I still couldn't believe. It was a recurring theme in my life, especially as of late.

The permanence on my skin is interrupted by the soft edges and lines of his hand. A relief is kissed onto my skin when his fingers lace with mine, his thumb paying attention to the capital letter P in his handwriting on my skin. I don't know what does it but suddenly, I'm looking at the melancholy lifting his lips.

"I don't know but I wanted to look at her things in the nur- guest bedroom. The sonograms and clothes . . to remember that she was real and ours when . . when today I feel like I need to pretend that she wasn't," the words tumble from my lips as my throat feels tight with remembering. "I miss her."

"I miss her too," Harry says with a softness saved for times like these, which seemed to be quite often lately. It speaks louder when his lips press a kiss to the top of my hand. "But we don't have to act as if she never happened, Becks."

"I want to though. Not to act like- I'm just not ready to talk about her with people at work yet. It's almost been two months and I feel like I should be ready by now."

Repeating in and out inside of my head didn't help to steady the breaths trying to swim into my lungs. What did succeed was letting myself live in the unending sage color of his eyes, wondering what the flecks of gold would feel like if I swam in them.

"That's okay too, honey. People know not to ask and I said not to. It's more so something that you bring up yourself if you want to," he murmurs, thumbing at the escapist tear that got through my guard. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home another day? I can work from home whenever I want, you know."

"I'm sure," he had barely put a period to his words and I was insisting. His nod was fast but I could read the hesitancy in it. I tried to push it out of my mind as the car began to move, my thumb occupied by the same traces of ink on the inside of his right wrist, a P in my handwriting.

It wasn't how I thought I'd be living my life today, carrying the memory of my daughter in my heart and on the inside of my wrist, instead of in my arms in a few months.

*

I had thought at once that it was a sight for sore eyes, but now I couldn't be more sure that it wasn't. Still, I wasn't certain how I felt about it now. Seeing it had brought forth a nostalgia I yearned for, wanting to go back to a time where we were so naive and unknowing of what the future held for us. It also dug up a pain that could be unfathomable, because I knew how different things were the last time I stood outside his office door, looking in. Our happiness had been unmatched and upon realizing that, I felt my throat grow dry.

He looked more handsome than ever with the short beard he'd come to keep, one that swims into view upon turning around. I'd been caught.

"Hi, bug," Harry says, a smile making the dimples dive into his cheeks. It was small but it brought a glow to his face that I'd missed. "Are you heading out?"

Nodding was all that I could do as I stepped foot in his office. Even if it wasn't the first time today it still stung. Everything I missed was what I thought of when I stood in here. It was the framed sonogram missing beside his desktop, the space behind the guest chairs where I'd showed him the pregnancy test, and on the couch where we spelled out potential names with Scrabble tiles. That was only the beginning of what stabbed at me like knives, even if things had gotten better. It had only been two weeks since we'd started to talk and I had come to feel so much better, almost like myself again. I wasn't sure if I'd admit it but he was right. I'd come back to work too soon and it had been too much. I couldn't decide when I would tell him that I had cried in the bathroom twice today because of it all. He'd wonder when that had happened since I had been at his side all day helping him start on his new case, but I'd thought about her all throughout. I hadn't known that coming back here would stir up so many thoughts about her. How could I?

"Becks?"

"Y-Yeah, soon," I belatedly answer, grateful for his bookshelf in front of me. I know that he knows the truth, but it could seem as if I was lost in reading his titles, instead of consumed by my thoughts. No, Harry was smarter than that. He knew that I had perused his bookshelf more times than fingers I had on one hand, more than one normal person would. "You're sure it's okay that I take the car?"

"Of course. I'll just catch a ride with Myles. We still have a few things to go over anyways. We're not sure if we're sold on that one guy for the new hire or not, so we have to figure out what to do."

I couldn't find it in me to make a comment. Today had taken so much more from me than I had anticipated. I knew that there would be awkward interactions and maybe the curious looks. I didn't know that the team meeting right off the bat would let everybody stare at me to their heart's content, and let me catch them in the act.

"How was today?" his voice comes, interrupting my thoughts. I had come to welcome it, knowing how it broke up my mental web of danger. He had to have known too. "Rate it."

A title catches my eye, replacing the Pain-O-Meter we'd come to adopt since it'd happened. Plucking the book off the shelf, I flip it open to find the familiar title page and a message written in black ink. I'd have a good shot at reciting it without needing it before me even as the words came to blur before my eyes.

"Pass," I mumbled, daring the tear at my nose to fall onto the paper. Brushing it away before it can, I let the words in front of me swim through my mind yet another time.

March 2024

Harry,

I couldn't count how many times I've heard you speak of this case and all that it's taught you, even inspiring you to become a lawyer, you once said. I guess maybe I should have kept it for myself seeing as how you know next to everything about it, but maybe you won't know some of this 'never before seen' stuff. I call dibs on being the first one to borrow it from you, seeing as how it's a new release. I hope that one day we can bring justice and right a wrong like seen in this landmark case. Book aside, I couldn't ever find the words to tell you how grateful I am for you and even though it hasn't been a month yet, how much I love you, Harry. If there's a God, I'll be thanking them forever for bringing me back to you and to your firm to work beside you, and to fall in love with you all over again. I can't wait to hear you talk so passionately about this case and all of the others you look up to when we have our nightly goodnight call. I'll try not to fall asleep the next time.

Love,

Your Becks xo

"Becks?" There had been a time when I'd hated that name and how he'd mistreated it. It wasn't long after that I'd missed it deeply and wished to hear it despite being scared to. "There's no passes."

"Since when? Why can't I just for one time not have to rate my pain, Harry," I almost retort, my chest heaving when I turn to face him. His face remains stoic, that is if you were anybody but the few people who could read his face right now. The shock is clear as day and brings my hands to my mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to explode on you."

"It's okay," he assures me, stepping forward. His hand on my wrist is ginger and reassuring. "What one have you got there? Ah, the good old Glensheen murder. One of my favorite cases."

There hadn't been many times anymore that I couldn't unravel the emotions hiding on his face. Except for now, he locked it up good as he thumbed at the page, nostalgia lifting his lips into his cheeks. It made the sting louder inside of me as his mouth relaxed into its former line, a wetness clinging to his eyes.

"I'd started to think about how I'd tell our kids how I became a lawyer and it always started with this case here," unlike before, a dullness lept into the curling of his lips, a smile dipped in sour memories. "I thought of it with P, telling her how Daddy became a lawyer because of Glensheen . . but I can't do that anymore. It's too hard to think about."

A hastiness filled my actions, first with my hand on his forearm. The velvet button down he'd picked for today felt like butter beneath my fingers, but it was the only easy part about this. No, the wetness spilling onto his cheeks only made it harder and so did prying the book from his hands. It wasn't any smoother looking into his eyes as mine welled with what filled his.

"I'll rate today if you will," my gentle words came, volumes different from mine that had come before.

"Eight and a half," Harry said dryly, clearing his throat afterward. I knew how he craved a glass of water to soothe the cracks in his throat. If only it could do the same to the heart.

"That's your first eight in a week and a half," I note aloud and his acknowledgement is absent. That is unless you count his eyes falling away from mine, focused on dragging his finger along the letter on my wrist as if he could do it forever.

"What's yours?" his question is quiet, but I could hear his voice in the loudest of darks. It was what had dragged me out of my lowest of lows, afterall.

"Nine . . and a half."

It was my turn to stare at my hands and avoid the gaze of the other. I could feel his as I tried to swallow past the heart shaped ball in my throat, trying to forget how quickly his head lifted.

"You haven't had a nine in weeks, bug," Harry remarks and I don't bother to nod. What would be the point? I don't want to make it any more real than it has to be. "Becks, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When you say nine . . do you mean a ten?" his question made sense but I didn't want it to, because that would mean I'd have to come up with an answer. That wasn't something I could do.

*

Waiting was something I had done a lot of recently and what joined it was my feeling of something being amiss. I had blamed it on losing Phoebe and how it had upset my entire life, but standing here now, both rang too true. I couldn't put a finger on why I hesitated opening the door, even though I had been here just the other night. It had been Harry and I's first double date back with Asher and Skye. We had played Cards Against Humanity and sat around the old rinky dink deep fryer whilst picking our cards.

Leaving that night, my stomach was full from the pizza rolls, cheese curds, steak bites, and more that we deep fried, but that wasn't why my gut felt off. Skye had been acting weird and I couldn't put a finger on it. Sure, things had been different since losing Phoebe, but I knew it wasn't that. Tonight, I hoped it would come to light. If only I'd known now what I would later, I would have never come at all.

There was no answer when I knocked on the door, so I let myself in like usual. Our favorite chicken bacon ranch pizza Skye had promised me wafted from the oven where it cooked. After a quick glance around the open apartment, I find that I'm alone. That's odd, I think to myself, remembering running into Asher in the parking garage on my way from leaving work today. Their cars were parked out front and Skye's purse and keys are scattered across the island. Just like the old times, I muse silently as I begin to toe off my shoes until I stop.

Loud voices carry from down the hallway and immediately I recognize them as the two blondes I'm looking for. Removing my shoes is forgotten as I inch my way into the apartment, trying to listen. Normally, I'd feel guilty eavesdropping and so I don't often do it, but that went out the window when I heard my name. It sounds like they're fighting, but what about? Does it have something to do with me? Why would it? The questions bloom behind my eyes as the sound of their arguing grows when I come closer.

Stopping outside my old bedroom door, I felt more than uncomfortable, but it only grew as I waited. It had been weird at first finding out that Asher and Skye moved into my old bedroom, but knowing that it was the biggest, it made sense. Something inside of me tells me to stop and that I shouldn't be stepping into such a private moment of theirs. If it were the other way around I wouldn't want somebody to eavesdrop on me and Harry talking, and least of all a fight. But I can't stop after I hear my name for a second time.

"Skye, you have to tell Becky. You can't wait any longer."

"Don't you think I know that, Ash? I've been trying to think of how to say it, but for the life of me I can't," my best friend sighs. A whining sound follows her words, presumably after she plopped down onto the mattress. But when it comes a second time, I realize it's drawn from her lips.

"It'll be easier the sooner you tell her, babe. You know that." An unmistakable sigh whooshes from my best friend's lips on the other side of the door. "It can't wait any longer. Maybe you should tell her tonight."

"No! She just went back to work earlier this week and Harry said that she's doing better. I don't want to ruin any of that by telling her."

"She'll understand, Skye, and I know how much you want to tell her, to share this happiness with her. It was all I could do the other night to not talk about it, because I'm excited too," Asher admits with exasperation. Another sound tells me that he's joined her to sit on the bed.

"Of course I want to tell her, but how do I tell her about . . "

I hadn't known how I had gotten here. That's stupid because, of course, I did. But sitting here now, the steering wheel of Harry's car slick with my tears, I still wish I hadn't heard what I did. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't erase it from my memory, and no amount of tears could make it better. Each breath I took sent shoots of pain through my chest as it shook with fitful sobs. The engine still ran, rumbling softly even through the steering wheel my head rested on.

I had lost track of how long I'd sat here after pulling into the driveway. I knew that he would hear the garage door if I pulled in, so I was waiting. He didn't seem to hear or see the car yet, something I was grateful for. I wasn't ready yet, but would I ever be after what I just learned? Just as much as she didn't know how to tell me, I had no idea how I could tell Harry.

The laugh track of a TV show is what I hear first upon opening the door, followed by a wisecrack from Joey on FRIENDS. My heart squeezed at the sound of Harry's subsequent giggle, and knowing how I was about to take it away. I closed the door softly as I could and still knew that he would hear it. It's instantaneous how quickly the TV is turned down and how my unrelenting crying replaces the sound.

"Becks? You're home already, love?" my favorite voice murmurs from the living room before alarm is racing in it. "What happened? Is everything alright?"

I could count the seconds before I hear his rushed footsteps coming my way, and then stopping in front of me. Harry's molasses voice rushes to say my name a few more times but he succeeds in one try to pull me into his arms. Taking my spot sitting against the front door, I melt inside of his arms.

"Baby, please. What's wrong? You're scaring the shit out of me," it was hard to make out the concern in his voice amidst the spinning of my thoughts. It was there but I knew that had things been normal inside of me, I'd be able to hear the panic and fear living in his voice. "Are you hurt?" hurrying to ask, his hands run along my body, as if checking for injuries.

His neck smells sweet with vanilla from his cologne and then woodsy all at once, a smell that used to calm me in seconds. No, not now. Inhaling, I try to focus on his voice and the feeling of his fingers in my hair, but it's more than hard. It's only after snaking my arm out from around him and my fingers into his, do I find my bearings. His chin was sandpapery against my head and although he'd wake me up with the weird feeling, I welcome it now. It's what roots me to the spot and brings me back to him.

"Becks honey, talk to me . . Don't run away from me again," sorrow leaked from his words that began to break on his lips. "Please."

"Harry," his name came out in a sob deep from inside of me. The second I'd heard those words drop from Skye's lips I had wanted him . . needed him. I had known that's the only thing that could ever make it better, but could it after I utter the words that had been spinning webs in my head? "S-Skye . . . "

"What, is Skye alright? Did something happen to her? Did-."

"Skye's pregnant, H-Harry."

*

What woke me wasn't the feeling of his fingernails dragging along my arm, raising goosebumps. It was a nightmare that I couldn't place once I'd opened my eyes, but that didn't matter because I'd woken up to one. The night before came flooding back to me, making me remember why my throat burned and my eyes stung. It was from the screams I shouted in the car where nobody could hear me, not even God who they were meant for. No, I doubted he heard me or saw the way I chased breaths between sobs.

"Morning, bug," Harry rasped in his voice dripping with extra honey.

Something unspoken hid in his words and in the way he covered my face with loud kisses. I didn't laugh or even break a smile. It was impossible after the newly awake ignorance washed away seconds after waking. I felt the hesitation in his movements, the way his chin now tucking my head to his chest moved when he was going to speak only to stop. He wanted to ask how I slept or what I dreamt about. It was the usual stuff but I knew that he was choosing his words carefully after all of the ones that were said last night.

I felt lost in my own, not knowing what to say. It was almost as bad as before when a chasm broke through our lives, carrying us away from each other. Almost but not quite. The thought made me cling to him with fear, never wanting to lose him ever again after all of the times that I had already.

"Shhh, I'm here. I-I know it's not okay right now, but it will be eventually," he cooed to me, fingers nimble and gentle where they dragged through my snarled hair.

"How, Harry? How am I going to be okay seeing her have what I want? I have to watch my best friend have a baby when- when I should be pregnant with her too. I-I . . ," no other words are possible as I begin to shake in his arms. Again.

"I know, buggie," is all that he says, speaking volumes more through his fingers drawing shapes into my back.

"How many times have they called?"

His hand pauses, frozen in a soft claw against my spine, "How'd you know? I thought you were asleep."

"I was but I know h-how they are . . She was so upset, Harry. I still feel so bad for how it happened."

"They each called about ten times already since last night between our two phones. I've gotten a few texts as well but I don't know how to answer them," he murmurs and I can only nod. His calming humming begins against my hair, some tune by The Paper Kites that he caught me listening to when I was his assistant, saying it was a favorite of his too. "Skye already said a hundred times that she understands that this is hard for you . . It's what all her texts and voicemail said."

"How can she say that she understands wh-when she's never lost a baby?" out it comes and I can't take it back, despite all of the times that I had thought it. His words of comfort begin but I'm too quick to shut them down. "But I should be happy for her and Asher," I whisper into his chest, the familiar warmth of his necklace against my cheek.

"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Becks. We don't get to choose how we feel . . However you're feeling is okay and it's understandable," Harry says, tracing circles under his t-shirt he pulled over me last night when I couldn't get dressed myself. "To be honest, I'm quite pissed at the world at the moment and somehow at them too. It doesn't make sense but feelings never do . . I had the hugest crush on you when we met and I had a girlfriend. It didn't make one bit of sense to me."

All that I can muster is a hummed acknowledgement before words find me, "You fought it and it didn't go away though. I want this to go away. I don't want to be jealous and mad but . . I don't know how I can't be. It's not fair, Harry."

Any licks of morning light is doused out by black when I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing that was the trick to keeping the tears in.

"I know, honey bug. Life is never fair, unfortunately . . but we're going to have our own family one day. It'll happen for us when we're ready again . . And if you can't do it, watching Skye become a Mum, then you don't have to. I don't want you causing yourself any more pain. You've already been through so much."

"But she's my best friend, Harry, ever since first grade."

"Then give it time, babe. Healing doesn't happen in a day . . We both know that."

"How can I heal if everyday I'm reminded of it, Harry? Sh-She's going to have a baby and I'm supposed to be there as her best friend, like we've always planned. The best friend plans the shower and is there for the birth, and her bump is going to get bigger. I-," he stops me before I carry on and eventually implode from the feeling bursting from my words.

"You can only do so much, and however much that is - big or small - is okay. Skye will understand," he insists from above, nudging his nose against my temple. "Shhh, shhh. It's going to be okay, babe. I promise."

Harry's words ghost over my face, smelling of the minty toothpaste we use. If my body wasn't shaking with waterfalls of tears, I'd try to care what time it is and why he isn't at work. Part of me wants to ignore it and that's the one I listen to, letting him rock me back and forth inside of the safety in his arms.

"Thanks for staying w-with me," I blubber against his neck, finding purchase with my hands cupping his shoulders.

"Always, my love. Thank you for doing the same. I know it seems like we keep getting hit down as soon as we get up."

"No kidding," I hiccup.

Trying to focus on the Elton John song he sings to me instead of the danger concocting inside of my head is no easy task. It was one of our favorite songs but it still couldn't stop me from thinking about how it should be Skye and me pregnant together. We'd dreamt out loud how many times since we were six that we'd be mothers together and our kids would be best friends. Now, that will never happen, I think miserably, wishing that things could be different just like I had thought for the last two months. Those thoughts spun back into how I'd have to stand by her side through it all, pretending that I wasn't insanely jealous and resentful. That sentence in itself makes me cry louder against his bare chest, because she was my best friend and how could I be so mad at her for something that was so amazing? I can't but I am.

It was the very same thing I'd said last night after the bedroom door had opened, all of our mouths agape. I'd tripped on my own feet, or their news had knocked me off them, I suppose. It had sent one of their plants onto its side and profanities from my mouth.

"Ree . . Oh my god," Skye had gasped, a hand to her mouth, of course. The face I had known for so many years, watched change over and over, had paled so that it almost matched the wall behind it. "Please. I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way. I promise I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how. I-."

"I can't do this, Skye. I'm sorry but I-I can't. I don't know how to," I had muttered hastily, my wet eyes already painting my face only moments before hers.

It was only seconds later that Asher had exclaimed my name for there to be no response. Moments before slamming the door, I heard him call after Skye whose footsteps trailed behind me.

"Ree, please! I'm sorry!" she had shouted after me, in a voice that snagged on the fresh crack in my heart.

"Skye, don't. She'll be okay, just give her time."

With a pained sob just before the door closed, I heard her choke out, "I never wanted to hurt her."

"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off it, bubs? It's not healthy to keep replaying it over in your head, and I know you are," Harry's murmur comes, trying to shut the door on the memory. One that is still too fresh and new, too much like the puddle of red I sat on in this very bed that morning. We'd made our way back into our bedroom and into our old lives, thinking things were going back to normal. Little did we know. Shaking my head does little to erase the thoughts, no matter how many times I do it.

"Your head's not an Etch A Sketch, bug. Stop, baby, please," he insists, bringing a hand to my head, trying to make me stop. If only I could erase the thoughts like the old toy we played with as kids. Skye and I would fight over who used it, even if we both were terrible at it. "Please, just tell me what I can do to make it all better."

"You can't always fix it, Harry. Thank you for t-trying, but . . "

Puffing, the crack in my heart widens at the pain held in just his sigh. "I wish more than anything I could, Becks. I'm the husband, the d-dad. I should be fixing it."

"Don't. You can't a-and that's okay," I say with a voice colored with the very opposite, because it really isn't okay.

"Even though it's not . . okay."

Nodding my head quickly into him answers that then and there, as if the tears loud from my eyes didn't say that already.

"I see now why you've never rated your pain as a ten before today . . ," he didn't need to finish his thought because my mind knitted it up for him. Because I need to save it for when it could be nothing else but a ten.

"I miss her. I never even met her and I miss her so much it hurts," my voice trembles, colored with memories that had just become bearable to recall. Now, I feel as if I need to find the key to lock them back up in their box because they're too painful to think about. "I just want her back, Harry."

"I know, sweetheart. So do I," his lips brush against my temple with his words, pressing a kiss there that stays. At least I have Harry. I can get through anything with him by my side. I find it in me to take a full breath at that realization, holding onto him tighter.

*

What now, I thought silently but the words spoke volumes. Underneath me the mattress squeaked when I tried to get comfortable. Tugging at my shirt, my eyes fell to my legs clad in a fresh pair of jeans. It felt bizarre to be wearing them. I hadn't gotten dressed in four days, because I could barely get out of bed. It was too much like the last time and it scared me to no end, because I didn't want to lose everything like before.

I didn't want to get dressed today or to take a shower for the first time since I'd heard about Skye, but I did. Harry gave me time and didn't push me, but when he left for work this morning, again without me, I found it in me to do it. My body had already gotten used to the baggy feeling of Harry's oversized shirt and sweatpants. Now, it wasn't sure about these jeans or the warm black and brown Argyle sweater I'd found in his closet. Dragging a brush through my snarled hair seemed like the most work I could do all day, let alone warming up leftovers after it. This time, I hadn't lost myself completely, but I still didn't feel like me. Knowing what I did changed everything once again, and I didn't know how to do it.

Staring back at me, the meticulous plans Harry and I had made seemed impossible now. The blinking cursor nagged at me to type in the shared Google document, knowing Harry would see it. The top listed the logical need to know things and then the places we'd go, followed by the costs and smaller details. It had only been a week since we'd looked at our wedding plans together, but it had seemed much longer now. Seeing the dress decorated with lace and sewn flowers in our closet pained me, making me wonder how I'd get my best friend to do my hair and makeup now. I knew that she would come, even if I hadn't answered any of her texts or phone calls since it had happened. But how could I do it?