#goddamn it I am ranting aren't I?

[nientedal]

god that post made me mad. "humans just CAN'T be persistence hunters, because persistence hunting doesn't make any sense to me personally! no i'm not going to cite any sources, just trust me, i read about it in school!"

okay, mmhm, sure...except it does work. it does work, and we know it does because it was still in practice by modern humans in the central Kalahari until AT LEAST 1990. some of those people have even explained some of the challenges and nuances of the practice as well as the knowledge they use to make it easier. it's not the only method of hunting humans have used over the years, but it is definitely one of the methods in our repertoire.

"humans can't run for multiple days without food and water (which is how i assume persistence hunting works, for some reason)! and they're not fast enough to chase an antelope without losing it! and tracking is a stupid concept that doesn't work, and i'm going to scoff and ignore it!"

you don't have to run for days. you don't have to be super fast. you just have to be fast enough to not let your quarry rest long enough to recover, and you do have to be able to track-- which is absolutely a real thing that people can and do learn how to do.

(i suspect the OP ignored tracking as a possibility for the same reason they tried to discredit any information about the indigenous peoples of the Kalahari as basically being (1) all noble savage bullshit from the 60s or (2) irrelevant because it's not what their forefathers were doing-- their anthropology course probably taught them about the challenges these bands are facing with colonialism, and probably also taught about the rampant misinformation about them, but it did not teach any actual respect for their cultures or knowledge. or for them as, you know, people. whose grandparents remember the way their grandparents hunted, and can talk about it, even if they are no longer able to continue the practice.)

(knowing the noble savage stereotype is bad doesn't make it less racist when you still talk about people from a stance of "but my modern ways are better than their hungry primitive ways and i'm going to talk as if they're already extinct and have no expertise worth discussing.")

"there's no POINT to it! we have tools! and weapons!" the point is not getting gored and kicked to death by a wounded animal four times your size that didn't die when you hit it the first time. the point is that an exhausted kill is an easy kill where you don't die. it's a decent point. it's fucking reasonable. also, afaik there's decent odds we learned hunting before we learned tools.

and yeah, i get that the OP was just upset and yelling in the initial post. i do understand that. and I understand their frustration at hearing a theory misrepresented as fact. but their subsequent reblogs and responses are equally thoughtless pseudointellectual posturing, and i'm sorry, it's garbage. someone pointed out modern pursuit hunters exist, and they basically went "mmmmyeah, all of that is just outdated, cherry-picked misinformation and you're very stupid and i'm very smart, look at me i know lots of tribe names and i'm going to link some articles about why these people no longer matter, isn't that sad and TOTALLY relevant to this conversation." someone else mentioned tracking, and they ONCE AGAIN basically said if you lose your line of sight, that's it, you're done, you've lost your quarry. tracking isn't real, don't even bring it up. hoofprints in wet ground in the rainy season? those are fake. doesn't happen. broken brush where a panicking animal has run? lol, that's not real. you can invent tools, but learning to follow an animal? bullshit. total malarkey. it's all just guesswork. you can GUESS where the antelope went but that's the best you can do.

🙄

anyway, i don't know enough about human evolution to guess why we're shaped the way we are, and i'm not going to speculate on it today. but what i DO know is that i am willing to believe the G/wi and the !Xo when they say, hey, if you drink a lot of water and then chase a large ungulate through the hottest part of the day in the fucking Kalahari at a steady jog, it will probably overheat and collapse before you will. because one, i kinda figure they know what they're talking about, and two, it does actually make sense when you stop and think for thirty fucking seconds. sure, you need to be physically conditioned to run distances in extreme heat, and you need to be able to find your quarry again if you lose sight of it. but conditioning and tracking are both things you can learn, no matter how badly certain clowns wish it wasn't because it doesn't support their bias. 🙃

[noxtivagus]

gna fix my sleep sched, prio ❕

[taintedcigs]

vampire steddie fighting over eating you out on your period will never leave my brain emmy. pls send help 😵‍💫🫠

SHUT UPPP MAR MAR U R A GENIUS AND IT'S NOT LEAVING MY BRAIN NOW EITHER. this is not proof-read and I ACTUALLY HATE HOWIT TURNEDOUT . goodbye. i am officially ashamed of how horny i am. so hopefully yall enjoy this.

warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI, SMUT, or*l (f!receiving), mmf threesome, blood, blood-sucking, period, vampire!steddie, nicknames (bunny, angel, etc.), praising. idk what the f took over me.

"W-what are you doing?" You whined, eagerness overtaking you as both of them tugged at your panties.

"Do you trust us, angel?" Steve asked, eyes all dark but pleading, and you were quick to nod.

"We're gonna take all of your cramps away, and make you feel s'so good." You look at both of them hesitantly, almost ashamed.

"B-but, a-are you sure?" Both of them almost scoffed at your response, they've been dying to eat you out during your period, and as soon as they learned it could help with your cramps, they knew they couldn't let their little bunny be in any more pain.

"We're more than sure, honey."

"And after, we're done, you'll be begging us to worship you around this time, angel," Eddie added with a devilish smirk.

You nodded, still hesitant, heat growing in your cheeks, and both of them were quick to cup your cheeks, comforting you. "No need to be ashamed, bunny, we're gonna clean you right up," Eddie growled with a smirk, "lay down and spread your legs for us, sweetheart," Steve added eagerly.

They were kneeled down to each other, eager, and greedy, both of them fighting off each other almost, making your eyes roll to the back of your head just with their touch.

"You smell so fuckin' good, princess," Eddie hummed, tongue practically waiting to lap up at your juices, while Steve tried to push him away like a child, "will you fuckin' move?" Steve growled over the metalhead, making you huff at them.

They always talked about how good it fucking feel to taste you, to taste your blood, but now that they were actually doing it, eagerness overtook them, making them fight like idiots over who got to taste you first.

"Nuh-uh, Steve, I'm going to eat her out first-" Steve scoffed, quickly interrupting the metalhead, "not if I get to her first-"

"You fuckin' promised that I'd get to taste her first-"

You pushed your legs closed with a huff, earning a dark gaze from both of the boys as they groaned, "If you two aren't going to behave, then I don't think we should-" Your rant was cut off quickly by both of their growls.

"No!" They said in unison, almost begging, pleading, the urge within them needed this, needed you.

"P-please, sweetheart, please," The boy begged, "let us suck you off, baby, we'll make you feel s'good," Eddie pleaded, eyes so desperate and their hands hot as they attempted to spread open your thighs apart again, that you couldn't even protest, a simple nod is all it took for them to dove right into your core.

Eddie's thick ringed fingers plunged into you without warning, making you arch your back as he twisted and twirled it inside of you, the coolness, added to how fucking well he knew how to use those goddamned fingers made you mewl loudly for them, flutters in your stomach grew, and heat appeared in your cheeks.

It made you feel so fucking ashamed, but the praises and the growls that left their lips downturned it, almost making you feel proud. "Doin' so good for us, princess, let us take care of you," Eddie hummed, retracting his fingers, all bloody as he lifted them up to Steve's lips, his eyes lit up, lustful and dark, unashamedly sucking off your blood off of Eddie's fingers, both of the boys groaning at you.

"Tastes fuckin' amazing, Eddie," The boy groaned, licking the residue of blood off of his cold lips, and Eddie didn't hesitate to run his tongue between your folds now, lapping up at it with kitten licks, Steve almost looked at you for reassurance, and if you weren't too fucked out you might've given him a full answer, but all you could do was nod, needing both of them to suck you dry.

He settled in on the other side pushing away Eddie's head slightly to dive into the sides of your pussy that were left unattended, sucking greedily and eagerly, none of them wanted to even let a single drop go to waste.

"You taste like heaven, bunny," Eddie groaned, humming between your walls, making you arch against both of the boy's tongues, as you struggled to hold onto both of their hair, their tongues working like magic while all you could do was cry out.

Eddie's ringed fingers dove inside of you, both of their tongues still all over your clit and your puffy lips, while Steve's padded thumb circled around your clit, it didn't take them long enough to suck you dry, and even quicker for you to cum around their tongues without a warning, thighs shuddering uncontrollably and a high-pitched moan leaving your plushy lips.

Steve and Eddie followed you not long behind, both of them creaming their pants just at the feeling of you convulsing around their tongue, all three of you left a heaving mess.

But the boys weren't done, no, not yet.

"Let us worship you, bunny," They growled, on their knees, eager to fuck both of your holes, until you were stuffed full of them.

[abductedlawnchair]

*ranting and raving and stomping on rooftops and flailing my arms about* HUMANS ARE AMIMALS!!! WE ARE ANIMALS!!! QUIT ACTING LIKE WE'RE NOT!!!

I am so goddamn tired of society acting like we're not!!! I am so goddamn tired of us as a society acting like we are above all the other animals!!! I do not care that we are the apex!!! We are fucking ANIMALS!!! Like, just take a step back and observe us like we have our own nature documentary on Nat Geo or something. Maybe with David Attenborough or whatever, idc. Just imagine it.

We are a species of apes that just so happened to gain the ability of extremely complex and abstract thought, capability of language, an almost absurd level of self-awareness, and the type of intelligence that allowed us to discover, invent, and develop tools. A species of apes that just so happen to have such a crazy level of curiosity that we have the capability to learn about the world around us, and beyond.

The way we learn and develop is fascinating. If you observe a toddler from that standpoint, watching them interact with the world around them, you'd see how natural curiosity is to us, in our human nature. Neil deGrasse Tyson has literally said that children are beings of chaos because they're curious and learning about the world around them.

We all have children in us, just like we have our ancestors in us!!! Our brains are wired like theirs. Relatively, we have been in this state of society for an extremely short amount of time!! Our brains and nervous systems are still wired to survive and keep us safe from predators and other dangers!!

We are social creatures!! We need love and connection to survive!! We can't do things on our own. The only reason we ever got to where we are is because we work together and communicate and share knowledge. The way society is right now is too isolating!! Humans aren't meant to be fighting for a place in society!! Haven't you seen zookeepers?? Or anyone who cares for nature in any capacity?? We have an incredible capacity for compassion and caretaking, because we have the capability to know and understand the inner workings of ourselves and countless other species!! Caretaking and compassion is literally an innate human trait!! We're supposed to take care of each other and the world around us!! We literally are capable of pack bonding with ROOMBAS, for fucks sake!! Little robots that our ape brains see moving around on its own, being part of our homes, and thinks "little guy is alive... I love him"!!! Isn't that beautiful???

We were an evolution of Mother Earth, Herself, to grow Her and expand Her and care for Her!!! Whether you believe in intelligent design or just the absurdity of it all, it still happened like that. We have the capacity to care for Her in an evolved level, yet we're fucking it up so badly right now.

Indigenous cultures have always been on the right track. They've always been right about this. They have always known that we are all pieces of the same organism, just like the atoms and cells and organs and electricity in your body are all part of one body!!

And btw, culture is another HUGE part of us being social creatures!! Being expressive and creative and connected!! That's part of our nature!! We're meant to sing and dance and laugh together!! That connectivity of us being a collective is So Important!!! Making fun of people for being "sheep", or having "herd mentality" every single time is so stupid because yes!!! Yes that's EXACTLY how we are supposed to be!!! We are social creatures, remember?? The whole point is that we do things together!!!

I know how society is rn isn't the end all, be all, but it just breaks my heart that this Capitalism shit goes against some of the most beautiful parts of humanity!! We are animals!!! We are cute and curious and compassionate and social and we need warmth and sunlight and sustenance from the earth and water and sleep and shelter from the elements!! We have instincts just like everything else!! We came from the dust and we will return to the dust because we will always be part of the Earth, just like all the other animals!! And somehow, despite all odds, despite how robotic Capitalism wants us to be, our human nature seeps into everything.

Take care of yourself! You are an animal, after all! <3

*climbs off rooftop... for now*

[goodluckclove]

I've been meaning to say something. (100 follower hot take)

Hey! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you've had a nice day. Why don't you rest with me for a while? I made some chocolate chip cookies - with shortening instead of butter, so they're very soft and very chocolatey. I made way too many and they aren't my wife's favorite, so I could use some help in eating them.

You're probably a writer, right? Or maybe you think about how you could be. Browse the tags here, or on other social media platforms. Maybe you used to write stories as a kid. I bet those were fun. Teachers might've thought they were impressive, or they dissected them line by line until the words didn't make sense in your head anymore. Either way, if you're here you're probably here for a reason.

(rant alert)

I dipped a toe in online writing communities on and off. My last attempt was forty-five minutes scrolling through the writing hashtag on Youtube Shorts (so TikTok, I guess? I don't know). I didn't like it. I really didn't. The thing that sticks out the strongest in my mind is one particular video where a woman claims that every story needs a second act plot twist.

Huh? Every story? All of them? Why? Since when? Who are you? What qualifications do you have to make a statement like that?

That's the common thread that makes a lot of writing spaces very uncomfortable for me. Successful writers are really only successful in their genre and for the given moment, so they don't have that much objective authority in the craft. And yet I see a lot of people deciding the things that you can't do in writing. Or the things you have to do, and how you have to do them. It was so much of Writeblr at first glance that I almost dipped out once again. I didn't, though, and I'm glad I didn't because now I get to watch some of the next great storytellers from across the world grow and examine and forge their way forward.

No one can teach you how to write. No, that's not true. Teachers teach literacy. Handwriting. Typing maybe - do schools still teach typing? Let me try saying it in a different way - no one, not one single person on this goddamned planet, has the right to tell you how to make a story.

I was supposed to get my MFA in creative writing before my first breakdown. My uncle stayed in the program I was meant to be in, and a few years after I dropped out he graduated. Recently I had the thought to look up his thesis novella, and as I searched I found myself regretting my decision to leave school. If I stayed and got to develop my writing in an actual class, with other writers and a knowledgeable professor, how much further along would I be than where I am right now?

It was bad. His novella was terrible. It was so bad I had a small existential crisis for, like, three days. He spent so much money on years and years of professional education and came out with a truly soulless story that read as if you prompted an AI to write the next Great American Novel. So if you think you need a writing degree to be a legitimate author, it could help connections-wise, but it ultimately won't be the thing that does the work for you.

Not all advice I see online on writing is bad. I find the people who are able to capture the "I" statements of therapy and phrase advice as things that have worked for them, or things that they personally enjoy, to be fine. Some writing advice can spark inspiration.

But if someone is the type of person to boil every story down to troupes and cliches, and then immediately say that every story that uses the trait they don't like is automatically bad for everyone? I'm dropping the kindness for a second - that's trash. That's a trash take and I see far too many writers use it as a reason to stop before they begin.

I don't like whump. I say my reasons in previous posts if you go back through my blog. But you will never hear me say that any story with whump in it is bad, because I don't know that. You might prove me wrong. I am an adult human being and I have the humility to admit that I can like something I didn't expect to. I genuinely enjoy the direction of The Human Centipede (only the first one) and if you cringed just now that probably means you haven't seen it.

There are so many types of books and movies and plays and comics out there. To enjoy a specific genre is fine, to ignore the existence of everything else is a really, really, really odd thing to do. Maybe someone will hate your story because they think everything should be Neil Gaiman, and therefore have no way to understand your epistolary high-Western. You are not the wrong end of that situation just for existing.

And at there is a definite threshold on how many writing tips you can gather before they stop being useful. If you find them interesting, that's one thing. That's fine. But if the culture of creativity online has made you feel like you need to educate yourself on every possible angle before you can write a story, you are actively harming yourself.

Imagine taking the level of structure you put on yourself in that way and putting it on children playing pretend in the backyard. Oh, Susie, don't you know that it's overdone for your Kitsune have dead parents? Xyler, shouldn't you ask someone else before you decide how Spiderman would react to this? It would make no sense and they do not need it. Kids will make a whole world out of nothing and it's the most fucked thing in my heart that at some point they get access to Reddit and dipshits start insisting that's wrong.

They aren't wrong and you aren't either. Your favorite creative influencer can't tell you your story, strangers on the internet can't tell you your story, your teachers and loved ones can't tell you your story. They can influence it, but they can't write it honestly the way you can.

You do that. That's the thing you do.

Man that makes me upset. I can't tell you how to make a story, either. If anyone sends me asks for writing advice the most I'll do is say what I've done before hopping into your DMs and starting a direct conversation. it's so personal to each individual artist, and I'd like to think that the people selling these classes and software and promoting these platforms haven't thought about that before. Otherwise it does feel manipulative. If you have a willingness to practice and imagine and really experiment with the possibilities, you are ready to write your story.

And if it doesn't work? Try again. That's what you do.

Stephen King has written roughly a thousand books and maybe five of them have decent endings. He is unimaginably successful.

I'm rambling now. I think I got that out of my system. I was really worried to say this out of fear of being too weird or somehow reverse-gatekeeping so hard that it circles back into also being a bad thing. I've just spoken to a lot of people who I still think of throughout my day, and I truly ache for them to get past the fear of creation. Because it's worth it. It's worth it and it's fun, even when it's messy and you're tired.

Let it Be just came on. Beatles. I haven't listened to The Beatles in a long time. Feels a little apropos.

I love you, reader. Reader, Writer, Colleague. Take care of yourself. Especially the little you, still sitting there in the backyard of your soul, bathing in the sun with their bare feet in the damp earth.

Consider joining them, maybe.

[rayshippouuchiha]

(tw: abuse, rant about me being abusive)

I need people to stop jumping to my defense about my right to have children whenever I say that I would be abusive. There's a goddamned reason for me to say that, idiot! I would be abusive and neglectful towards any child I have.

I know exactly what kind of person I am - I may not show it, but I get angry very easily and for random reasons. I can't be angry towards other people – people who will be in my presence for only a few minutes – because they don't deserve that, so most know me as polite, nice, and quiet.

My child though? The kid that would be in my presence for 24/7? If that kid does not behave the way I want it to, then I will hit it. I enjoy my silence. I enjoy my order. I enjoy not being bothered. A child will ruin all of that.

"You would never hit a child! You're so good with them! They always ask about you!" The people cry. The reason why I'm nice and not hitting them is because they're someone else's child and my unfavourable actions will have consequences. 

I get mad easily and sometimes "randomly" – what I mean by that is this:

Yesterday I was in my uni's cafe, a place I go to whenever I have a large gab between classes and do some writing. I'm used to the hustle and bustle of it, and I'm used to my companions' chatter, but for some reason I got very annoyed by them yesterday and that annoyance continued on during classes. I wished to do them bodily harm. Do you see how easy it is to anger me? Even something that I'm used to has limits.

So if I say I would be a bad parent, that is not reassurance baiting. I'm making a statement and people have to accept it.

Sure, I can probably teach the child to be quite, but they may not listen at times, or I will love bomb them when I crave attention then ignore them again. No child deserves that.

See the fact that you know this about yourself and don't want children as a result? That's yet another reason why the right to choose is so so goddamn important.

Children aren't for everyone, nor should they be.

We should all have the right to choose when it comes to parenthood, even those of us who don't want it.

[crystalsandbubbletea]

Small rant about colonialism and Israel's genocidal campaign

The fact that people continue to support Israel when there are PICTURES of what the hell is happening in Gaza disgusts me.

A four-day ceasefire isn't enough, it needs to be a permanent ceasefire.

I don't even want to think about what will happen when the ceasefire ends...

The dead children, the mothers, the fathers, the sisters, the brothers, the friends...

And then the videos and photographs of the civilians..

All the heartbreaking images I seen, it's permanently in my mind.

"Oh but Hamas-"

SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH YOU GENOCIDE-LOVING MANIAC!

PALESTINE ISN'T HAMAS, CIVILIANS AREN'T HAMAS, GAZA ISN'T HAMAS, THE WEST BANK ISN'T HAMAS!

A MAJORITY OF GAZA'S POPULATION WERE CHILDREN WHEN HAMAS GOT IN POWER! AND A MAJORITY OF GAZA'S POPULATION ARE STILL CHILDREN!

Just admit you like watching innocent children die you fucking monsters.

"Palestinians are like Nazis!"

NO THEY FUCKING AREN'T! KINDNESS IS A HUGE PART OF PALESTINIAN CULTURE!

PALESTINE DIDN'T ATTACK FIRST WHEN THE JEWISH PEOPLE ARRIVED, IT WAS ISRAEL THAT ATTACKED FIRST!

IN ALMOST EVERY SINGLE PRO-PALESTINIAN PROTEST I HAVE SEEN THEY KICKED NAZIS OUT BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND NAZIS!

PALESTINIANS. ARE. NOT. NAZIS!

"From the river to the sea Israel will be free."

"Free Israel."

FREE ISRAEL FROM WHAT? THE MAP!?

ISRAEL DOESN'T NEED TO BE FUCKING FREED FROM ANYTHING EXCEPT FROM THOSE GENOCIDAL RIGHT-WINGS!

"Oh so you're an anti-Semitic person because you support Palestine!"

I AM SPEAKING OUT AGAINST GENOCIDE! HOW DOES THAT MAKE ME ANTI-SEMITIC!?

And then there's Israel's propaganda.

What a ton of bullshit.

Creating a fake website and claiming it's an official Hamas website that will cause a virus on devices to try to justify genocide? Bullshit.

Using A.I generated images to make it seem like people are supporting Israel? More bullshit.

Using dentures and implants and claim that it's the teeth of children? Bullshit. And let's not forget that dentists pointed out that it was dentures and implants, and that those didn't look like the teeth of children.

All the attempts to try to get people to sympathize with Israel have been bullshit.

The only thing Israel has succeeded in is showing their ass to the world.

Fuck America, fuck the U.K, and fuck Israel.

"What does the U.K have to do with this?"

Clearly we're forgetting that for a time the U.K was colonizing Palestine, after WWI they took it over as a "mandate".

"Palestine colonized Israel first!"

I'd like to see your source for that. Clearly you never paid attention in history. Palestine never colonized Israel.

I will never support Israel or any nation that funds their genocide. I will never listen to people who try to "justify" Israel's genocide. I will always stand with Palestine.

[hoeforhao]

Chipmunk Cheeks 🍥🧁🍡🍧|| Joshua Oneshot ||

ꔫ pairing: husband!joshua × wife!reader

ꔫ summary: your arranged husband takes care of you in your period pain.

ꔫ genre: pure fluff,mentions of blood and pain, reader sort of has body dysmorphia

ꔫ series: svt as boyfriends

ꔫ author's note: walking into the traffic if i don't find myself a joshua hong cuz am dying from period cramps atm!!

Masterlist

Marriage was never on your book of life and wouldn't ever be your cup of ale. Did your parents know this since the very beginning? Yes! Yet they absolutely went out of their capacity to defy your choices and arrange your betrothal to none other than the Hong Joshua.

Mrs Hong was your mother's colleague, more specifically her best gossip buddy. They were literally known as the gadgets of their office. And when both the women saw that their little ones are getting old with no potential chance of finding their partners by themselves, they settled upon the dreaded agreement.

All your pleas about not wanting to get married to someone you have barely had three to four conversations with, someone whose entire personality, preferences literally everything was unknown to you, were completely left unheard by your parents. Apparently they wanted their daughter to have a "secured future". Literal BULLSHIT.

The most terrifying day of your life was just two weeks ago and here you lay whimpering in pain on the bed of someone you've barely spoken to or looked at since the wedding.

"What a nice time for you to pay your visit, you bastard" you internally curse at your periods.

Yes you're basically dying from period cramps. You didn't know where the nearby medical shop was around here neither did you've the energy to go downstairs and get yourself a hot pack. You were quite literally awaiting your death from organ crumbling pain in your ''husband's room". Too dramatic for just period cramps? Yes! But why react to anything normally when you've the option to absolutely lose your mind over it.

You were so damn lost in your nonsense rantings to the walls of your room, that you failed to register joshua being back from work already.

Finding the house engulfed in absolute silence made his nerves falter for a moment. Usually it would either be filled with loud tv noises of you watching cinnamoroll on the couch or clanking of the utensils as you baked yourself another new dessert recipe.

He quickly throws his coat over the armrest and hops towards your room with those little bunny legs of his ; only to find you completely curled up like a boba ball under the blankets as small painful moans echoed through the walls.

"Y/n, w-what's wrong?" you jolt up from your little coocon as Joshua's warm hands grazes against your forehead.

"Are you okay? You don't seem to have a fever. Did you've a bad day? Did anyone make you cry? Are you missing your parents? If so let's go to their place right now" he grabs your arm gently to pull you out of the bed.

"Would you let me answer or just assume things by yourself Josh!" you unwrap your hands from his while literally burning holes into his face.

"Y-yeah sorry. I was just wo- umm worried." his face hangs low from embarrassment or maybe even a bit of hurt? Not being able to understand what's bothering his wife.

"It's okay. I was j-just having really bad p-period cramps" your face now starts turning crimson, not because talking about periods with a man makes you uncomfortable but because it was h-him...your 'arranged husband'.

"Oh my god Y/n why didn't you call me!!!! I would've run back home from office immediately and brought you treats. Did you eat anything? Where is your hotbag!! Goddamn girl why aren't you taking care of yourself" you wonder if joshua participated in speed talking competitions earlier judging his ability to blurt out sentences without a single pause.

"Calm down Mr Bunny Teeth!!! It's nothing special. I've these every month. The pain will ease out gradually." you nod at him trying to reassure the man that you're infact, not dying.

"No no no way you can talk this so lightly!!! What if you burst from the pain huh! I can't clean up a bloody mess. Hell No" Joshua's last remarks ends up earning him a hard smack from you, making both you chuckle lightly. Dang your husband was even more dramatic than you!

"No seriously tho, you need to take care and pamper yourself during these days. Wait I'll get you some treats" he stands up from the end of your bed to leave towards the kitchen when your arms grabs his from the back.

"I-i don't e-eat sweets or rather I umm can't" your face droops low trying to fight the stray tear making its way onto your lap.

Joshua turns towards you in a swish and bends down to the floor, not caring about bruising his knees on the cold marble; both of his palms reaching to cup your cheeks.

"Why y/n?" a two word sentence was enough to make you break down into a crying mess.

"I - i was a-always told that I'm f-fat and s-so i stopped e-eating my favorite food w-which was s-sweets" you were talking like a five year old, words mixed up with your sobbing and face stained with snot and tears at the same time.

Joshua's firm hands gently grazed over your face as he wiped the mess off of it with his satin white shirt, while the other refused to leave your cheeks.

"You will eat as many sweets as you want love, as you buckets of ice cream you wanna feast on. And I'll be sitting right here infront of you so that each time you think about stopping yourself because of what the world thinks, your face will be planted with a kiss." you've turned completely red by the choice of his last word, the pain in your belly now mixed with a tingling sensation.

"You are perfect the way you're y/n! I can't even imagine a single milligram of you leaving this world. Like omg just think what a great loss will this universe face then!!! I want to see you eat to your heart's content, enjoy each and every meal. Do you even know how bright that smile of your glares when you munch on your food like a happy raccoon, cheeks stuffed up like a smol little chipmunk."

"S-shua you-"

"Sshh! No more words love. Sit here 'til I bring all the food from downstairs and then we'll sit together and watch sanrio, okay chipmunk?" Joshua's slender fingers draw against your lips, sending a flutter of butterflies all over your bones.

Sitting on the bed like an obedient wife you wait for him to arrange a literal feast of sweet treats infront of you, alongside tucking you into the duvet with the hot bag on your belly, making a literal cinnamon roll out of you ; wrapping his arms around your shoulders as your head now rests on his, taking in the sweet scent of his lilac cologne as you two draw yourselves into solace while watching tv together.

"Marriage isn't that scary afterall"

[dumplingsjinson]

Let me just uh, set some hard fucking boundaries with some of you people in regards to MY relationship.

Do not keep questioning my choices on MY relationship.

First of all, you're not in this relationship. Let me mess up and find out, if worse comes to worst. Let me fuck around and find out. I'm not going to blame you for not warning me, don't worry. Seriously. So stop questioning me.

Don't keep asking me, "Why don't you label things with him? I think it's bullshit that there are no labels. What's the POINT of this relationship if you're not labelled as such and such? You're just wasting your time. Stop that. It's weird. This doesn't seem right to me. Why call it exclusive if there's no labels?"

Let me fucking date how I want, damn. Let me be in a goddamn relationship how I want, without me needing to explain myself to you. You, who I don't even know. You, who's not even a mere acquaintance of mine. Even my friends aren't questioning me, so who are YOU to question me when you know virtually NOTHING about our relationship?

Why are YOU, as someone who doesn't know the full fucking picture, trying to enforce your rigid little rules onto ME? If you like labels and only commit strictly with someone once those labels are established, good for you! Do you!

But don't go on the internet, read the stuff someone shares (which doesn't paint the whole picture, mind you, because I'm not sharing my whole goddamn life biography on here) and then go running into their inbox and yell at them for their choices, or because their choices differs from yours. Don't do that because you don't KNOW them. Don't act like you know everything from the small details you've read. Yes, I share things on here, but only things I'm comfortable sharing. Surface level shit, basically.

What you think is normal isn't always someone else's normal. Please remember that.

The way some of you act in my inbox... It's embarrassing at best and disgustingly rude and kind of intrusive and also insulting at worst. And because you've got the anon feature on, you think you can just say anything. (That's a whole other rant I've been wanting to get off my chest. I've got a few drafts I've never posted that are from months ago lmfao).

Now, to tone down the aggressiveness for a fraction of as second, I get you care about me and it's probably coming from a good place, but I am TWENTY. THREE.

Let me remind you.

TWENTY THREE.

Not three.

Not thirteen.

TWENTY. FUCKING. THREE.

I can make my own decisions. I am a legal adult, probably moreso than some of you out here coming into my inbox and full on trying to start an interrogation with me like I did something wrong for wanting to do things MY way for MY relationship.

And SLIGHTING me for my choices is where I'm setting the hard boundary at.

DO NOT, and I repeat:

DO NOT...

...under any circumstances, come into my inbox and act like I'm a dumb fucking bitch. (I am a dumb fucking bitch, but I'm also a self aware dumb fucking bitch. There's a difference.)

I know what I'm doing, I know the consequences, I know what I'm in for. I'm not fucking stupid and naive. I'm not a 13 year old about to start her first relationship with her high school crush.

So stop treating me like a donkey, and stop questioning my choices. Remember, as harsh as this sounds, some of you need to hear this and REALISE this: You've got no place in my life to do that. Absolutely fucking none.

Learn to read the room and learn that there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.

OH, I need to add this here. Before some of you come into my inbox and ask me WHY I'm sharing shit if I'm not open to opinions on my choices... There's a difference between opinions and civil discussions, and crossing someone's boundaries and questioning their choices because you think YOUR way of doing things is the right way to do things.

Just because I share some stuff on here doesn't mean that warrants you an automatic pass to shit on my choices. Fuck that bullshit, because that's just shitty behaviour and you need to look inwards and realise you're doing a lot more harm than good by being a piece of shit to someone you essentially do not know.

Remember, if you won't say this shit to someone in real life while looking them in the eyes, then don't fucking say it on anon in some stranger's inbox. That's a dick move, and you're a prick if you do that. Fix yourself, for the sake of humanity.

That is all.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

PSA regarding cultural exchange and internet culture. Its a rant but its something that needs to be said

I'm already seeing the Qsmp admins calling for understanding and patience with the announcement of the Korean CCs that will be joining, and it frustrates the hell out of me that any of it needs to be said because people on the internet are so poisoned by cancel culture that this opportunity to engage with Korean culture is beginning with stress.

Its an issue that extends far past this server unfortunately, the modern standard for morality on the internet is insanely unrealistic and honestly very anti-human. So many people, most people actually, do problematic things in life and make mistakes, which is completely normal. Its how we are and how we're supposed to be, its how we learn and grow. But having someone get dogpiled/harassed online and potentially even risk losing a career for saying or doing something vaguely problematic that they should be encouraged to learn from is so incredibly harmful and makes the online place more toxic than communal.

There's a legitimate line to draw between something we should encourage someone to reflect upon and a genuinely irredeemable act, and if you can't tell the difference you then shouldn't be speaking about it online. To all the people who dramatize an easily fixable situation, you're part of the problem of people not knowing how the fuck to act when there's miscommunication, differences of opinion or people doing/having done something problematic but not ill-intentioned. Genuinely good people are being either pressured off the online space or terrified to ever make a mistake because people who don't touch enough goddamn grass are so drama-addicted that they make a situation negative when it literally never needed to be. You're toxic and you're making everyone else toxic, the problem is not the person who accidentally said something offensive in ignorance but is willing to learn from that, nor the person who misunderstood a situation and could be convinced to reflect on their actions, the problem is you, adding unnecessary fuel to the fire and blowing shit out of proportion when it could be resolved so much easier. If you're someone who does this, I hate to sound like a boomer but holy shit you should be ashamed of yourself. There's enough bad in the world as is, stop posting and do better.

And here's the funny part, and I don't care how many people this pisses off: current online cancel culture is xenophobic as fuck. People in different cultures have different ways of life, and though that doesn't necessarily excuse some of what goes on in other nations, the current standard for "dealing" with culture clashing takes no account to how someone's culture can make them act differently than you, and they shouldn't be demonized for it even if some of what they do isn't the best. People from multi-ethnic backgrounds, especially children of immigrants, understand that some of our parents say the most cancellable shit imaginable but are still good people at heart. Strangers online wouldn't understand that at all, and their need to complain about everything online with such hostility and lack of nuance would and is doing the exact opposite of what it should be doing; instead of getting people to see different perspectives and learn why their behavior can be harmful to others, thus encouraging them to do better, online witch hunting either drives them away from wanting to interact with anyone, and/or actively pushes them further down problematic avenues where they aren't demonized for harmful behavior.

I am so sick and tired of everything thinking cancel culture is normal, because it is so incredibly not. Its exhausting seeing the same thing play out over and over as someone who's actually interacted with people of different ages, gender and ethnicities, and who knows what these people are like in their hearts, while also knowing the internet would eat them alive without a second thought to who they are or why they act the way they do.

People say and do problematic things, it doesn't mean they're bad people. It means they're human. I encourage everyone to remember that.

[underworld-park-offical]

CRAIG: Wait holy shit

CRAIG: My fucking phone

CRAIG: Guys

CRAIG: My phone

CRAIG: IT WORKS

EVERYONE: UGHHHHH

TOLKIEN: Well if your phone works, that could be the plausible explanation as to why the intercoms are still functional while the power is out

CRAIG: Okay ate Shakespeare

CRAIG: Atespeare

TOLKIEN and TWEEK: You are so annoying oh my god

TOLKIEN: I want to kill you just for that

TWEEK: If you want to kill him I'll hold him down

TOLKIEN: Deal

CRAIG: Oh woah

CRAIG: Spooky

CRAIG: It's giving back rooms

TOLKIEN: Craig did you just say owo?

CRAIG: I am going to beat you up

TOLKIEN: Nevermind

TWEEK: What

TOLKIEN: Oh its nothing

TOLKIEN: Just ignore him

CLYDE: Woahhh

CLYDE: Guys there's like

CLYDE: An echo now!

CLYDE: Hi Clyde! (Clyde! Clyde!)

CLYDE: This is so cool (cool cool cool)

TOLKIEN: Since when did our hallways get so….

TOLKIEN: Creepy?

TOLKIEN: Tweek, this happened when you got here

TOLKIEN: Are you an alien?

TWEEK: NO??????????

TOLKIEN: Demon?

TWEEK: NO?????????????????

TOLKIEN: Huh

TOLKIEN: I'm out of ideas

TOLKIEN: ….

TOLKIEN: Stan would have a field day with you

CLYDE: Stan would

CRAIG: Oh yea, I'm totally recording that when it happens

TWEEK: Can I get a puddin out of it?

CRAIG: Sure

CRAIG: I can venmo you the money for it

CRAIG: Do you like

CRAIG: Have venmo?

TWEEK: What the fuck is venmo???? CRAIG: Not you not knowing what venmo is

CRAIG: Loser

CLYDE: Yoooo thunder crackling right now

CRAIG: (records) Hey guys welcome back to my blog and sorry that the cam quality is so ass

CRAIG: There's currently a power outage out at the school

CRAIG: Its not giving

CRAIG: Anyways

CRAIG: Make sure to like and subscribe for more

TOLKIEN: ARE YOU FUCKING FILIMG THIS RIGHT NOW???? 

CRAIG: Yeah, so?

TOLKIEN: What do you mean, so?!

TOLKIEN: There's nothing to even film, it's dark as shit

CRAIG: Doesn't mean there can't be content

TOLKIEN: I swear.

TOLKIEN: TO GOD

CRAIG: Lmao Tolkien you're right

CRAIG: The cam quality is so ass

TOLKIEN: See? I told you

TOLKIEN: Fucking queer

CRAIG: I am

CRAIG: LITERALLY

CRAIG: Not gay

TWEEK: Hey uh

TWEEK: Guys?

TWEEK: Shouldn’t we like…. check to see why the intercoms or whatever you're calling them are doing that? CLYDE: Yeah! Oh my god you're so smart

CLYDE: That's like

CLYDE: Not normal behavior.

TOLKIEN: Ahem

TOLKIEN: Clyde

CLYDE: What????

TOLKIEN: I am

TOLKIEN: Right here

INTERCOM: ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ OOOOH  ╧╧╧╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ D ╬ R ╬ A╬M ╧ AAAAA╬ ╬

INTERCOM: ╬ ╬ ■ C╒╬O ╬N╬TROL ╧  ■ ╧ YOUR ╬ M╬ A╬ N╬ ╬ ╧ ╒╒╒╒ ╬ ■ ■ ╬

CRAIG: Omg

CRAIG: I'm so putting this on my blog

TWEEK: Read the room, dude…

TWEEK: Read the fucking room

CLYDE: This is the one time I hate the morning announcements

TOLKIEN: The only time you like the announcements is when they announce Pizza Fridays, babe

CLYDE: Shhhhhh

CLYDE: I mean you're right but shhhhhh

TWEEK: But seriously, we should go

TWEEK: I think someone of some kind of authority would have come over by now

TWEEK: We should like

TWEEK: Check it out or something…

CLYDE: You're so right, Tweek

TOLKIEN: Clyde.

TOLKIEN: I am

TOLKIEN: RIGHT here

CLYDE: So….

CLYDE: No thruple?

TOLKIEN: NO

CLYDE: Ah…

CLYDE: Rats….

TWEEK: Shut up Clyde, nobody likes you

CLYDE: Wuh- buh-

CLYDE: BUT YOU LISTENED TO ME RANT ABOUT NIGHTCORE?????

CLYDE: I THOUGHT WE HAD A MOMENT??????????

CLYDE: I THOUGHT THERE WAS A SPARK?????????????

TWEEK: Aren't you taken?

CLYDE: …

CLYDE: Oh yeah…

TOLKIEN: Porkchop

TOLKIEN: Sweetheart

TOLKIEN: Love of my goddamn life

TOLKIEN: You are

TOLKIEN: So stupid sometimes

CLYDE: But you love me for it~

TOLKIEN: Debatable

CLYDE: WHAT?????

TOLKIEN: I'm kidding, you goober

TOLKIEN: ....maybe

CLYDE: TOLKIEN DON'T TEASE ME LIKE THAT

TOLKIEN: I can't resist it, ya know

INTERCOMS: ╬ ╬╬ ■ T╧ ╬ W■ ╬ ■ EE╬ ╧ K■ ╧  ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╧ ╧ ╬ ■ ╬ ■ ╬ ╒ ╒ ╒

TWEEK: Guys, the intercoms…

CLYDE: Right right

CRAIG: This is not giving right now

CRAIG: Do we like

CRAIG: Have too?

TWEEK: I would say so

CRAIG: Literally why smh

TWEEK: Because they just called my name!?

CRAIG: What do you think I am?

CRAIG: A mechanic?

TWEEK: Yeah but still…

TWEEK: I think the longer we stay here, the more likely we are to get murdered or something?

CLYDE: WAHHHH I DON'T WANNA DIEEEEE

TOLKIEN: There there, you won't die

TOLKIEN: But if you do I'll bury you in dinosaur bones like you've always wanted

CLYDE: And play my favorite nightcore playlist at my funeral?

TOLKIEN: And play your favorite nightcore playlist at your funeral, yes

CLYDE: Good, Good, by the way, babe, do you know where the generator room is?

TOLKIEN: No, why would I?

CLYDE: Cuz you're like

CLYDE: Super smart and stuff

TOLKIEN: Aww…

CRAIG: Rizzler moment!

TWEEK: Should be to the left

TOLKIEN: How do you know that?

TOLKIEN: You just got here

CRAIG: Not Tweek being a sussy baka rn

CRAIG: Smh

CRAIG: Omg hold up

CRAIG: Who

CRAIG: Who is getting in the middle of the recording right now?

TWEEK: Your mom

CLYDE: Hehe, nice

CRAIG: This is NOT a slay right now

CRAIG: Get this British away from me

PIP: Shut the fuck up you crusty motherfucker

PIP: I always hated your two tone Google chrome metrophone megaphone ass

PIP: And that's saying a lot because I hate all of you

PIP: But it was always the influencer I didn't like

TOLKIEN: Nobody likes influencers

PIP: True, but this one was the most insufferable

PIP: Craig_The_Real_Bitch, Right?

CRAIG: *Craig_The_Real_Tucker

TWEEK: Did he just say the asterisk out loud????

CRAIG: Yes, I'm correcting him, that's why I said *Craig_The_Real_Tucker

TOLKIEN: He does that alot

TOLKIEN: We’re desensitized to it at this point

PIP: God why do you say all these underscores

PIP: You aren't a blonde crop top wearing bimbo you overrated sonic the hedgehog wannabe

PIP: Now anyways,

PIP: Turn off that goddamn phone

PIP: Pretend this is the movie theater!

PIP: Have some class, fuckface

PIP: Pay attention when I am talking to you

CRAIG: No <3

PIP: …

PIP: Fine then, I’ll just turn off that phone myself

PIP: Better yet, I'll break it

CRAIG: No please my phone is literally my life support

CRAIG: If you break it I’ll like

CRAIG: Totally die

CRAIG: Or something

PIP: Shut that shit and perish

CRAIG: Fine, fine, fine…

PIP: Thank you

PIP: Now that we’ve hit mute on the insufferable prick here

PIP: I'm sure you’re all wondering, “How is he alive right now? Didn’t he get crushed to death???”

PIP: To that I say, you're right!

PIP: I'm not at all alive

PIP: I am in fact, very,

PIP: VERY

PIP: Dead.

CLYDE: WAHHHHUGFYUKGTP(YYIFDIGFYCYIG 

CLYDE: ZOMBIE!!!!!!

CRAIG: Its giving the walking dead

CRAIG: Slay

PIP: Shut up you fake ass botox injected taki munching booty crunching dollar tree ass Charli D’Amealio

PIP:  I am not a zombie, that's just cheesy!

PIP: I am, however

PIP:  ╬A bad motherfucker ╬

(( EDITS MADE BY @pissblanket the backrooms edit was all me ))

[hahawasabi]

TW: MENTIONS OF GENDER DYSPHORIA, ASSUMED P3D0PH1LIA & H0MOPHOBIA, D3@TH THREATS, SWEARING. If youre uncomfortable, please scroll past this.

I am in a tough place at the moment, and I'd like to rant about the LEGO Monkie Kid fandom.

The reason why i joined the LMK fandom was to get away from the toxicness of the eddsworld fandom. I'd like to thank my friend to introducing me to this fandom, but, this fandom wasn't the best choice. Especially the online spaces the LMK fandom is popular in.

The BIGGEST example for me was Pinterest. They're all so aggressive with their opinions, not to mention HC's and ships. Now, when I found the LMK pinterest, everything was like hell for me.

I remember commenting (THESE COMMENTS ARE NOW DELETED) how LMK!Nezha looked handsome, (because i had a crush on him), only for my Pinterest inbox to be bombed with death threats and people actively calling me a "p3d0phile". The same thing happened to me on a shadowpeach post, where people kept saying i was "homophobic" because of this, once again, i was bombed with death threats. I also recall saying I ship SpicyNoodles in a COMMENT YOUR FAVORITE SHIP POST. ONLY TO BE CALLED A FUCKING FUJOSHI, A WORD THAT IS SO GODDAMN OVERUSED IN THE PINTEREST COMMUNITY. SERIOUSLY, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A DICK JUST BECAUSE OF AN OPINION.

Eventually, this all made me feel very insecure about myself, I kept asking why i couldn't just be "normal", or whatever is considered "normal" in this shitty fandom, or the app in general. I tried not to use Pinterest for as long as I can, but no, I kept coming back to find out what's "normal" and what isn't. This later put me in a depressive state in which I felt ashamed in everything about myself, including my own gender identity. Maybe I'm too sensitive? Maybe I'm overthinking? Maybe both?

The more I scrolled into the app, the harder it was to get out of the rabbit hole. Everyday I kept crying over nothing, all because of a stupid fandom and some "unkind" and "inappropriate" comments I made. This fandom made me loathe myself even more, more than I was in the eddsworld fandom. I wished all the time that I wasn't a girl, that I was "normal", so I can "fit" in this fandom.

People actively doxx others in this fandom, they don't allow the Chinese voices to be heard, because the only voice they hear is the one that spreads misinformation. They actively tell others to off themselves, and say that they aren't "doing their research", or that they're "disrespecting chinese culture".

This fandom has gotten me so tired..

[thevoidstaredback]

I'mma rant for a second.

Someone please validate me.

I think I'm beyond justified when I say that no one listens to me.

This show (Come From Away) is running for three days. I've had the five shifts (4 on the weekend, 1 Friday) for three weeks. Counting my conversation with my parents a few minutes ago, I have explained what this show is, where I am, what it's about, and the history behind it 23 times.

6 times to my mom

4 times to my twin

2 times my older sister

3 times to my dad

8 times to my grandparents

What the actual duck does a girl have to do to get someone to listen to her?

All I'm asking is that people make an actual effort to remember what I tell them, especially when I talk about something I love.

My coworkers (4 of them) have asked what I know about it, and they all remember the basics of what I told them. They even listened to the soundtrack like I recommended!!

My sister won't even take ten minutes to listen to two songs with me. My mom doesn't even remember what the first song is called (I've told her 5 times now). I know for a fact that none of my family will listen to the music on their own.

I just want to share what I'm passionate about. I want others I know to share in the joy I find in this show and others.

And, y'know? I keep finding that this is a reoccurring problem. I can't bring it up to anyone, though, because they all tell me that I'm overthinking it or looking too much into it or seeing things that aren't actually there.

Humans are designed to pick out patterns in everything. We pick them out and we create them.

I see a pattern, I point it out, and I get told there's nothing there.

Either I'm gaslighting myself or everyone else is gaslighting me.

Someone please validate me. Please tell me I'm not crazy. Please put a name to these feelings because I'm going to shatter if someone tells me one more goddamn fucking time that I'm seeing a pattern where there isn't one.

I would cry like I want to, but that would ruin my make up. I have another shift in about 2.5 hours, and I don't have my makeup back with me, so that's a no go.

I'm gonna go read. Thanks for listening

[capillaryspice]

Unpopular opinion rant incoming:

I did not enjoy Baldurs Gate 3

Before anything else I will admit I am biased, as strategy turn based games aren't something I'm usually into to begin with. I mostly ended up playing it because my partners and a friend are SUPER into the game and wanted to do a 4 player run. I do have 30 hours on a solo run I tried to get used to the game with, so I have a decent bit of experience with how it's supposed to run as a single player but I'm not judging companion stories or anything because I haven't completed them.

I do understand why people like BG3, and I don't wanna rain on anyone's parade for a very critically acclaimed game, but I do have some thoughts that I just need to get out of my head, so if you like the game and don't wanna hear me complain about it just scroll on ahead. If you do want to hear me complain, I'd love to hear if anyone else has had the same thoughts, because genuinely I've not really had anyone to talk to that hasn't been head-over-heels for it. (Actual thoughts under the cut)

-----------------

With that out of the way, for starters BG3 is a very impressive game. From a technical perspective, from a voice acting quality perspective, the sheer amount of tiny tiny details, etc... it is IMPRESSIVE. Too impressive, I'd almost have to say. Because, despite being impressed by it, I did not have FUN playing the game. For all its details it doesn't draw me in. For all the technical marvel, it's just too janky. It's all of the rules of DND and none of the immersion or fun

I would love to have had a functioning camera position that didn't give me whiplash whenever a new character in the combat of 20+ NPCs decides to do so much as shuffle to the left. It feels like pulling teeth when trying to select/interact with anything, god forbid a reaction happens while you're trying to attack and you just completely lose the action bc the interruption to movement pauses everything and screws u up. I'd love to be able to jump without going through two menu screens and a map to just hop over a gap(I'm never complaining about the Dark Souls jump being too complicated ever again). Also everything moves so slow, I would kill for a fucking Sprint button.

I would have liked anything approaching a streamlined combat system that didn't take a long ass time to set up a move that takes six seconds to play out, and then wait for ten minutes literally doing nothing while the rest of the NPCs in initiative whip the viewpoint around and get it stuck in walls and corpses so I can't even see what's happening while I can't do anything for the rest of the round

A lesser gripe, but just a bizarre choice to not do: Id like to hear the character voice I chose in character creation for cutscenes, instead of just background ambient lines. Like, if the last dragon age game (from 2014 mind you) can have a voiced main character with multiple voice options, this new game that has unique voice lines for every goddamn squirrel on the map and ALREADY PAID VOICE ACTORS TO VOICE THE MAIN CHARACTER TO BEGIN WITH can probably afford to do so. Hell, I'd like some background music that isn't just the tenth rendition of Down By The River in a different key. The bard music is all gorgeous, why couldn't they have reused some of those compositions as ambient music for different locations?

This is a MASSIVE game, and what they've put into it is definitely admirable, but like. Not in the ways that make a game breathable or immersive? The choices in where they've decided to dedicate the anal level of detail seems misguided from a just general player standpoint; There's some gorgeous settings in the game, but I was distracted every time by getting frustrated that I couldn't even get a more-than-vague look at any of the scenery I actually enjoyed because the camera is so limited in its angles. So I can't take a good look around what should be a beautiful temple that I'd love to see closer, but I can individually inspect every moldy apple and tax form on a random dinner table instead. It's a vast open world, but the character models have very clearly defined paths they have to stay within. The amount of unique NPCs is insane, but the mechanics themselves TREAT them as NPCs(i.e., resurrection rules), and they don't react to PCs unless ur doing Violence or Crimes (even og skyrim had NPCs have comments on if u weren't like wearing clothes, for instance). Every shelf and bag and nook and cranny are searchable, but that gets overwhelming very quickly as you have to choose between taking like an hour of real time to clear a cluttered area and possibly find something important but more likely just end up with a bajillion rotten carrots, or move on but have the anxiety of knowing you've possibly missed something vital. There's a million options you can take at any moment with any object or character, but there's rarely anything indicating what will be vital later for general world stuff. But then with the main plot (the Emperor, Raphael, the crèche) it felt very railroaded in the sense that TECHNICALLY you could try and choose between outcomes, but your choices don't actually matter because you die if you choose The Wrong Option (or end up in effectively death sentence combat) and will end up where they want you to go regardless.

BG3 isn't a game I want to spend time playing; it's not a world I can wander around and appreciate the beauty of and get lost in the soundtrack or the environments. The whole combat system is incredibly frustrating to manage, and just feels like Hurry Up And Wait. I'm not gonna knock the romance parts of the game, I've heard good things and haven't gotten far enough in any of em to have an educated opinion on, so really the only thing the game has to offer in spades OTHER than romance is replayability. Which normally I would say is a good thing, but for how long of a game it is and how non immersive the gameplay and world feel, it really just ends up being a game of fucking around and seeing how many things you can get an alternate dialogue for or create new stats around. Like, this is great for completionist folks who love collecting achievements and making the most busted crunchy math-based builds possible, but Baldurs Gate 3 to me just isn't a game I can sit down and have Fun(TM) relaxing and playing.

It's a game that I feel absolutely missed the forest for the trees.

So anyways, essay complete. I've only slept like 6 hours total in the last three days so a lot of this may or may not even make sense. But on so much sleep deprivation finishing this game and realizing I was just frustrated with it instead of actually feeling accomplished for having finished it, it was the final straw and I just needed to get the thoughts down somewhere

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Cul-de-Sacs are Bad Writing

Ok, I have to be honest with y'all here. I didn't QUITE throw this book at the wall, but I WANTED TO. I don't know what HAPPENED with this book. ACOTAR was aggressively fine, if poorly paced and plotted, and ACOMAF was actually fun to read and enjoyable. Then we get to ACOWAR and the pacing and plotting problems are back with a goddamn vengeance, there are chapter cul-de-sacs that go nowhere and add nothing to the story or the character arcs, and SJM has this GODDAMN INFURIATING HABIT of just...picking up words that have specific meanings in specific contexts, going "that sounds cool" and dropping them places that make my extremely well-read, allusion-alert brain tweak in some extremely painful places because you can't just...APPROPRIATE WORDS LIKE "SERAPHIM" AND "MYRMIDONS" WITHOUT MEANINGFULLY RECONTEXTUALIZING THEM!!!! Not to mention that SJM murders the stakes of this book in their cradle. I swear to cauldron, this book was actually inexcusably bad. So let's talk A Court of Wings and Ruin.

So this is both your SPOILER WARNING and your heads up that this will be a RANT REVIEW. If you loved this book, this is not the review for you. Do not come crying to me that you weren't warned if you read past this point. This is also a CONTENT WARNING because there will be mentions and discussions of sexual assault because every SJM villain is also a rapist for SOME REASON.

I don't even know where to start with this book. I suppose...I suppose we could start with a few of the things I didn't hate. Oh, and the one thing I actually did like. That seems like a good way to begin.

The one thing about this book that I actually genuinely enjoyed was getting the foundation for Nessian. I was actually interested in Nesta's emotional journey because she had some goddamn agency in it. Like yes, she was yote into the cauldron against her will, but she never let go of her agency and she MADE it give her something in return. Like, yes girl, tell me more. Explore that. Dig in. And also, yes, I too am interested in the man-bunned jock who, when he is adulting, is a general and baddest bat boy on the battlefield. I enjoy their evolution from schoolyard hair pulling and insult slinging to actual partnership on and off the battlefield. I almost get a "he fell first, she fell harder" vibe from them, but their dynamics aren't fully cooked yet so don't quote me on that. Nessian was the best part of this book for me.

I also appreciated the setup and payoff of Nesta getting to absolutely annihilate the King of Hybern. There was something deeply satisfying about her taking his head off slowly and brutally for what he did to her and Elain. That was a great moment, even if the broader scene was in a part of the book where the stakes had long been dead and buried and the Nessian stakes in particular felt a little...hollow...as a result. Still loved the visceral, hands-on revenge murder for Nesta. Why yes, I did major in early modern drama and yes, I do have a thing for revenge tragedies. What gave me away?

Finally, can we PLEASE give Nesta the goddamn credit she deserves for single-handedly saving the High Lords alliance meeting? Because Feyre fucking blew it. She fireballed and everyone was about to bail and Nesta single-handedly saved the damn meeting through sheer force of personality. Girl understood the stakes and was the only one in the room who managed to get past the petty political and emotional bullshit and keep that big picture in mind. Nesta is a queen in her own right and frankly? She's a better Rhys than Rhys is in terms of actually trying to create a better world.

Sadly, we must now move on from the things I liked to the things I didn't hate. And there were actually a few, although they're more moments and little pieces of themes and character than actual themes and character arcs, because this book does actual themes and character arcs TERRIBLY. But. I didn't actually hate Amren getting to be high fae at the end of the book. Amren's whole deal was that she had to choose to be someone else to get out of the prison, and in the years she has BEEN Amren, I think she discovered that she really likes being Amren. The fact that she gets to be high fae Amren at the end of the book, that she gets to be the person she chose and likes? I can't not get behind that. The way we got there was inexcusably monster ex machina and SJM leaned WAY too hard on resurrections (Not even joking, when I was reading this, I live-reacted at my sister going "WTF AMREN!!" and her response was literally "give it five minutes, she'll be back".) in this book, but the core of "Amren gets to be the person she chose and liked" was good. I didn't hate that.

This might seem petty, but another thing I didn't hate was Feyre constantly crashing into trees, walls, and the ground while learning to fly. Some of these moments were genuinely comedic, some of them were nice little arrogance takedowns, and sometimes it was really just nice to see Feyre hit a hard surface at speed because lord knows I wanted to fling objects at her more than a few times this book. The pitfalls of learning to fly also felt real, grounded, and appropriately frustrating, so I didn't hate those scenes.

I also can't say I hated Feyre systematically dismantling both Ianthe's and Tamlin's credibility in the Spring Court. Was it shortsighted and ultimately counter to the larger goals of the book? God yes. Was it petty AF? Hell yes. Was it really straining the credibility of Feyre as "the people's hero"? YOU FUCKING BET YOUR ASS IT WAS. But all of that said...my God it was satisfying to watch Feyre show back up to the Spring Court and take it apart piece by piece. It's wildly unfair to Tamlin, but SJM seems to have appointed this poor 20-something with generational and personal trauma, leadership responsibility, no experience and no help as the series punching bag, and I can't fix that. All I can do is enjoy the petty assholery of Feyre taking his entire world apart (and shooting herself in the foot as she does so). (I was less enamored of Feyre beating Ianthe's hands into pulp instead of killing her. I am aware it was for plot reasons, but that was possibly the dumbest decision she could have made.) So while the early chapters of the book were objectively a Tamlin character assassination, those early chapters paced decently well and were fun in a petty, set-it-on-fire-to-watch-it-burn kind of way.

Another thing I super did not hate was Lucien. Lucien has always been an interesting character, and he shows himself to be capable of critical thought in this book, which we love to see! Then of course SJM writes him out for 85% of the book, so there's not a lot of time and space to love him.

Ooh, I also liked Bryaxis. Cool idea, great vibes, and I'm very much here for Feyre STILL NOT BEING ABLE TO INTERNALIZE NOT MAKING DEALS WITH FAE OR ELDRITCH HORRORS. Like...girl. You were warned multiple times, but now you have shadow kitty wanting pets. Did not hate anything about that.

Which...I think rather takes us to the end of the things I didn't hate about this book. Yikes, that is a short list. So if you're a Feysand stan or adored this book and somehow made it this far, I am going to respectfully suggest bailing now. I did not enjoy the rest of this book, and I'm going to explain why. If you're cool with that, we love to have you. If not, we will catch you next time.

For everyone who is still here, let's dive into ALL THE THINGS ABOUT THIS BOOK THAT WERE INEXCUSABLY BAD. And we're going to have to start with Rhysand, because dear god, what the hell happened. (And yes, I ended that sentence with a period. That sentence doesn't deserve a question mark.)

I thoroughly enjoyed cocky asshole Under-the-Mountain Rhys. He was a dick, he knew it, but he also had a sense of...idk, almost fair play that worked for him. I also am a big proponent of if you're going to write a cocky asshole, they better ENJOY that shit. "Hello Feyre, darling" was an A+ moment. It was the epitome of cocky asshole who knows he's a cocky asshole and enjoys it. I was tentatively on board with secret feminist Rhys in ACOMAF, but then we get to this book, and I just straight-up could not with traumatized bat bitch who was willing to completely toss his ideals out the window and retraumatize his found family for...reasons. In no particular order, these are the things I took issue with where Rhys was concerned:

Repeatedly traumatizing Mor and then INVALIDATING her very reasonable responses to him full-on not giving a fuck if the Darkbringer legion raped and pillaged their way across a battlefield, bringing Eris Vanserra into a meeting without warning her, opening Velaris to the night court, and invalidating her (heavily implied to be) sexual trauma and abuse by saying he'd have worked with Amarantha so she should work with whoever he tells her to. Like...holy shit Rhys, you say you're over here to help women recover and heal from these kinds of traumas, so WHAT THE HELL IS MOR TO YOU? All of this was shitty and Mor lets him off the hook way, way too easily. I'm not going to, though. Rhys was actively playing "my trauma was worse than yours" with Mor and that's a SHITTY thing to do to literal family--both blood and chosen.

Rhys letting Feyre off the hook for invading Lucien's mind. Let's be super real here: Feyre has been kind of a bad friend to Lucien from minute one. She has no boundaries, no ethics, and is possibly the worst person to have her particular set of powers. But it's not like she's getting EFFECTIVE HELP AND GUIDANCE from the one other person with that particular skill. She apologized to RHYS about it and he accepted the apology and told her she wouldn't cross the line again. Like...Sir. That was LUCIEN'S APOLOGY to either accept or reject, and I no longer love that you don't have ethics around this power use either. Shaky magical ethics are NOT GOOD. Adhere to them or don't, as is appropriate for a character, but like...have them well-established and strong. (It is possible I read Arrows of the Queen at too formative an age, but y'know, magical ethics are a thing I think about!)

Rhys's self-sacrifice obsession. This is one of those "your mileage may vary" things, but it absolutely did not work for me as a reader. I am too steeped in the "Dying for people is easy, it lets you off the hook" mentality to appreciate Rhys over here constantly going "If there is a price, I will pay it with my life." It also made fixing the cauldron REALLY fucking frustrating for me, because they had the five minutes to get the rest of the inner circle over there (or literally any of the other high lords or people with magic) to help. There was also an opportunity for a found family save, with Rhys going for the sacrifice play and the fam going "Hell no." But no, we had to LIE TO OUR WIFE and DIE. For all of about five minutes before we do a Twilight where "OH-EM-GEE FEYRE NOW YOU TRULY UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT UNDER THE MOUNTAIN" because apparently empathy isn't something Feyre is capable of...? I keep getting told not to try to logic this book, but some of this just defies even vibe reading, you guys.

I found Rhys a STRUGGLE and deeply unsympathetic this book despite a tragic backstory that should have done a lot of heavy lifting. Like, he's had some genuinely harrowing and traumatizing experiences. But then he invalidates other people's trauma and is super willing to INFLICT it on people. And he's not even got the courtesy to ENJOY it, so then I'm just over here drowning in angsty man pain that is in no small part of his own making...like there were moments I genuinely went "Did Rhys and Harry Dresden go to the same school of man pain?" I lack patience for this kind of non-self-reflective nonsense these days. I understand being protective of family and wanting your family to be ok, but Rhys gets smothery and toxic in ways that I am not here for.

Since a fair amount of my issues with Rhys are how he treats Mor, I think that makes for a decent segue into my issues with how Mor is handled. These come in two somewhat intertwined branches. The first is Mor's treatment of Nesta. The second is how SJM handles Mor's sexuality.

I'm going to say right here and right now, these books were DYING for LGBTQIA+ representation. These books are SO heteronormative, and adding representation would have been lovely...except that I would argue that the rep was handled poorly, leaned into harmful stereotypes, and poked holes in both Mor's characterization and the narrative structure of the book. I'm not here to disbelieve Mor when she says she prefers women, but finds pleasure with both men and women. I believe Mor. What I do think is that SJM coded Mor as straight for two and a half books, and that last-second pivot does a couple of things.

First, it calls Morrigan into question as a reliable narrator out of absolutely nowhere. Nowhere in ACOTAR or ACOMAF do we get a sense that Mor is an unreliable narrator. She has her perspective and biases, as any character does, but nowhere do we get the sense that she is hiding anything or lying. The inner circle TRUSTS her, that is established and shown. To suddenly have her go "Yeah, I've been lying to Cassian and Azriel for 500 years, and every time Azriel gets too clingy I sleep with a man where he can see to remind him to back off" is deeply toxic and this is sort of...never addressed? Not to mention that until this point, I had read Mor's leaning into open sexuality as a way to take agency and control after what her family did to her, and the reveal that she's bi kind of changes that into the "promiscuous bisexual who is often toxic" stereotype, which like...HATE THAT for Mor. The writing directly undercut something I was reading as strength and made it stereotype-y and toxic, and I hate that. And the book doesn't even address it! I could see a plotline in which Mor recognizing and addressing this toxicity and evolving herself and her relationships with the inner circle to a point where she is out, happy, healthy, and supported, and her boys are just happy she trusts them enough to be her whole self with them, but the book doesn't do that. It just reiterates stereotypes and keeps Mor with one foot in the closet and one foot out of it. LET MORRIGAN BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND HER WHOLE SELF!!!

And for the love of god have her stop actively being nasty and aggressive at Nesta over Nesta's interest in Cassian. That was uncalled for on every possible level. Before we get the bi reveal, it was the tired, toxic, girls fighting over a man thing. Afterward, it's another really ugly layer of Mor trying to keep Cassian trapped as a permanent buffer between her and Azriel. Literally nothing about this dynamic is good, but again, the book just kind of...presents it and does nothing with it. And I really don't love that because the potential for strong communication and growth in the inner circle dynamics was THERE and it was INTERESTING and then it was SQUANDERED in favor of the Feysand show. And it's not like there are any other characters to give another perspective on this--we just have Helion who also falls into that bisexual stereotype. So I would have loved some more representation here, but the representation we got was...not ideal.

I also have a bit of a bone to pick with the Illyrian wings. They got SO SET UP as delicate and difficult to fix if you fuck them up. But then all three of our bat boys have them absolutely shredded in this book and like...it's not fun but it's also not given the weight I'd have expected from how they were built up in ACOMAF.

We cannot talk about this book without also talking a little bit about the bigass High Lords Alliance Meeting. This thing got SO HYPED in the first half of this book. Like it was constantly being talked about, planned, and reiterated in terms of its importance. I was expecting an actual discussion about politics and alliances and the practicalities of working together to defeat Hybern. And in SJM's defense...we do get a little bit of that. But MOSTLY what we get is high-school level sniping, aggravated assault, and FEYRE FUCKING FIREBALLS BERON. Which pretty much could have torpedoed the meeting except for Nesta. NGL y'all, I was SO LET DOWN by this whole series of chapters. But at least these chapters had actual effects on the story...unlike the next bunch of scenes and chapters.

The latter half of this book, and particularly once the war gets going properly, this book is FULL TO THE GODDAMN BRIM of cul-de-sac scenes and chapters that go nowhere and affect the status quo not at all. Big standout examples of this include Elain getting kidnapped by Hybern and Rhys being dead for like five minutes.

Elain getting kidnapped by Hybern was literally just payoff for Feyre's flying lessons. Which didn't end up mattering anywhere else. Az and Feyre do a quickie side quest to rescue Elain and some random girl and Az gets his wings shredded, but it's ok, they have healers and he can *checks notes* MAGICALLY PATCH WOUNDS LONG ENOUGH TO GET BACK. Sure. Whatever. At this point I didn't even care, nothing mattered and there were no stakes. They get Elain back. It's fine.

Rhys was dead for less than ten minutes. Holly Goddamn Short could have brought him back easier than she brought Butler back. And it's not like we genuinely thought that Rhys was going to die after all that, this isn't that kind of book. Literally I'm so pissed off though, because SJM full-on did the whole, "Now you know what I went through when you died under the mountain, Feyre" thing. Like...is empathy not one of her skills? Or is Rhys so insecure that he can't imagine empathy without a 1:1 experience relationship? I hated this so much because it was dumb, it isn't how EMOTIONS work, and frankly? Why didn't Rhys want to SPARE her that experience? Because it sounded like it sucked.

I also need to address the Jurian/Mirayam/Drakon/Seraphim thing. It was underdeveloped as hell, doesn't come to a satisfying ending, and "OOPSIE POOPSIE OUR SHIELDS DON'T HAVE FRIEND FILTERS" so they were exactly where they were meant to be the whole damn time was fucking infuriating. This either needed development or to be left in draft, and at this point I don't care which.

Finally, the end of this book just felt limp. We half-assedly attempted to get everyone to renegotiate the treaty, and then went back to Velaris and broke out the good stuff. It is possibly the limpest ending I've read in a longass time.

This book didn't need to be this long. There was too much padding and not enough development, and a lot of it was just infuriating. The Mirror of Ouroboros was super underdeveloped, the character dynamics got driven into the ground, and the writing was deeply problematic on a bunch of technical levels. I have NOT forgiven the use of "twisted" or "Seraphim" or "Myrmidon" wildly out of context. These terms do not just...decouple from their connotations and contexts because SJM think they sound cool and yeet them at a book. The truly infuriating thing was the squandered potential after ACOMAF, because I genuinely enjoyed that book. I can't say the same of ACOWAR.

[mostlyvent]

I don't know if you'll see this sorry I just want to rant about those stupid swifties

Like I am so goddamn tired , there's a psychologist who comes on my feed and she's a swiftie and she's so fricking stupid and I really don't understand how she became a psychologist, she's so biased and calls herself a feminist when she only supports privileged women and she herself being privileged makes a mountain out of a molehill out of everything, calls people who don't like TS a misogynist 🤡 typical swiftie behaviour and like these people make tswift their entire personality, they are so out of touch , oh my God!!

They advocate for the environment but never ever blame Taylor , when asked why does she still support her , they make sarcastic replies and think they're so smart 😒

And also let's not forget the misandry these people just exude sometimes, so goddamn biased instead of caring about supporting actual oppressed women they will support a billionaire and a climate terrorist and they say that tswift and her fans are just victims because everyone makes fun of them and just how sad that is and how misogynistic other people who dont like her and her fans are.

Goes on to show no matter how much you study, the brainrot will never stop and the basic ability to even tell right from wrong will vanish , coming from a psychologist it's even more distasteful as psychologists aren't allowed to be biased.

It's just so sad , I just can't understand how can people support a climate terrorist at all , this year is gonna be one of the hottest ones because of El Nino and a lot of people and also a lot of animals are gonna suffer , we need to hold Taylor Swift and other billionaires accountable for their climate crimes.

What sort of earth are we gonna leave for the future generations ?

Her fans are so blinded by her that even the few smart ones fail to notice how she's exploiting them and how fake she is. I hate her for her personality. But these days as I learn more about how fucked up earth has become and how much people are struggling to just live, the more I hate her.

Her fans would be like, but there are loads of other people who destroy earth more than her. I don't get how that excuses her fucking up the world WE live in. Thinking about how billionaires are making the world suffer fills me with rage.

I wish we could see her pay for her actions but most times people like her get away with it.