#gods most hijackeable creatures…..

[gay-little-izzet]

Drawing my faves in parasite themed fits so they can hijack bug motorcycles

(Jace’s look is Alcon Blue, my favorite butterfly, and Vraska is Ophiocordyceps—probably familiar to any fans of nature documentaries or zombie media)

[cowboysandcigarettes]

JUNO

summary; watching dean work with some kids on a case leads you to an interesting realization.

warnings! established relationship, canon-typical violence, talk of pregnancy, smut!, praise kink, breeding kink (oops), soft sex, but it kinda unintentionally turned nasty, unprotected p in v (stay safe!)

CASES WITH KIDS WERE ALWAYS HARD. you had a soft spot for kids, especially little ones, even with their sticky fingers and clingy hands.

you had always thought about having kids, but once you became a hunter, you threw that idea out the window. hunting was no life to raise a kid in, god knows you only barely survived in your late teens.

when you met dean, you fell fast and you fell hard. it was difficult to resist his charms and good looks, but your case of lovesickness only grew as you and the elder winchester grew closer. he slowly opened up to you, allowing you to peel back the layers of toughness and defense that he had built up over the years, letting you see the real him.

that only made you fall more in love.

luckily, the feeling was mutual, for as soon as dean had set eyes on you, he was gone. he instantly knew you were the most beautiful thing he had ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on, and as soon as you opened your pink lips to greet him─cussing him out for hijacking your hunt actually─he was completely done for.

neither of you had said anything for a long time, letting the feelings and tension build up over the years until it all came to a boiling point after a hunt almost gone wrong. you had barely had time to take a breath after almost dying before dean's roughened hands were on your face, grabbing you and crashing your lips to his.

you had been together ever since, and although the thought of having kids occasionally popped in your head, you figured dean would never want that. he was a hunter through and through, he could never leave the life, and if you were to have a kid, you could never raise them the way you and him had been raised.

so you pushed those dreams deep down, happy to live your chaotic life with dean, content with just the two of you.

but then you ended up in oregon.

♡ ♡ ♡

the case was a pain in the ass, a couple of rogue vampires taking kids, 'training' them to become a part of their nest.

finding the bloodsuckers was easy enough, they had been holing up in some old farmhouse off the highway, posing as new townsfolk and greeting the neighbors to scout their next victims. it only took the boys and you a day to find the farmhouse and pile into the impala, rumbling off to save the day once again.

the three of you had charged in after a quick surveillance, machetes in hand and dead man's blood at the ready as you crept in, trying not to wake the vamps. unfortunately, they were still up and at 'em, and suddenly ambushed the three of you before you could even process it.

there was only two of them and three of you, but with their enhanced strength and skills, it was pretty much a fair fight. sam and you had been fighting off one of them, dean grappling with the other, when the situation had grown more complicated.

the fight managed to be pushed into one of the other backrooms of the farmhouse, which just happened to be where the vamps were holding the kids. you noticed first, telling sam and calling out to dean before swiftly turning back to your own fight.

"i got 'em!" he calls back, kicking his vamp straight in the chest and sprinting over to where the three kids were tied up, tears streaking down their dirt covered faces.

you manage to get the jump on your own opponent, knocking the monster down. movement out of the corner of your eye catches your attention, and you look up to see the vamp dean had been fighting pushing himself up from the ground, fangs bared and snarling at dean, whose back was turned as he untied the kids.

"hey, ugly!" you call, a quick nod from sam assuring you that he had the other creature handled. the one snarling at dean turned in your direction, pausing for a moment before his lips curled again, baring his rows of sharp, deadly teeth at you. you just gripped your machete tighter, bracing yourself in a fighting position. "come and get it."

the creature hissed and charged at you, but you were one step ahead. you noted the flimsy floorboard in front of you and you waited until he was a few steps away before raising your machete over your head, bringing it down hard on the shaky board.

the impact of the blade further destabilized the wood, and as you stepped back, the vamp stepped on that floorboard, his leg crashing through, leaving him stuck. he cried out and growled, hissing and flailing his hands around, trying to reach for you, but before he could even call out to his buddy, you raised your machete again, swinging it around and cutting the bloodsucker's head clean off.

the creature's skull thudded against the wood as it fell, and you stood there for a moment, catching your breath before you lifted your head, trying to find sam. a proud grin spreads across your face as you see him standing at the foot of the other vamp, it's head cut off just like the other one. he meets your gaze, and you both turn to head towards the exit, cleaning off your machetes on some nearby hay bales.

you walk behind sam to the impala, pleased to have come out of the farmhouse with minimal blood staining your skin and clothes. you hear dean's voice before you see him, and as you round the car to greet him, you cut yourself off as you take in the scene in front of you.

the three children are leaning against the door of the imapala, their heads barely reaching the bottom of the window, faces dirt stained and tear streaked. the sight would break your heart if you weren't so distracted by dean, who was crouching in front of them, an easy, comforting smile on his lips as he spoke to them softly.

"see? i told you we'd get 'em for you," he tells them, and the gentle tone of his voice makes you melt a little. "you guys were so brave, doin' exactly as i said and helping each other get out. you guys are real superheroes."

the little boy in the middle, the youngest of the three, looks at dean with wide eyes, still glistening with tears, but there's no more trace of sadness other than the tear tracks on his dusty cheeks. "like batman?" he asks, his small voice slightly wobbly.

dean grins wider at that, and you can practically see the sparks in his eyes as he nods at the little boy. "hell yeah, exactly like batman," he assured the boy. "he'd be so proud of how brave you were, all of you. i mean seriously, i was so scared, but you guys were totally badass."

all three of the children's faces lit up at that, the two girls on either side of the little boy looking at each other and giggling softly before looking back at dean.

he pretended to be confused, cocking his head and looking between the two girls. "what's so funny?" he asks, his lips twitching as he fights off a smile.

"you said a bad word," the girl on the left says, giggling at dean's face.

dean pretends to be offended, quipping something back at the girl to make all three of them laugh again, but you don't hear what, because suddenly you're picturing doing that with another kid.

your kid.

images flash through your head of dean, a little girl in his arms, a sweet smile on his lips as he rocks her gently. dean and a boy with his eyes and your hair standing side by side as he teaches him how to fix up the impala. you and dean side by side as you watch the milestones of your child's life, the look in dean's eyes as he holds them for the first time.

you bite your lip as you watch him with the kids, your heart warming in your chest. but the heat doesn't stop there, it travels through your chest, pooling quickly in your core as you suddenly picture yourself pregnant, dean's hands on your stomach, your sensitive breasts, hips and all over as he takes care of you.

the movement of dean standing up snaps you out of your fantasy, and with a soft smile, you help him and sam load the kids into the impala, offering to sit with them in the back, dean driving and sam in the passenger seat.

the drive back into town wasn't short, but you honestly were content to sit in the car for a couple hours as the kids eagerly conversed with you. they were smart, and you were surprised at their range of vocabulary as they told you about themselves.

you learned that the two girls were sisters, maia and ruby, that they were six and eight, and had a cat named max that they loved to death. the little boy's name was logan, and he didn't talk as much, oddly staying quiet as the girls chatted away at you, but once they turned into talking amongst themselves, he started telling you about all of his favorite superheroes.

eventually, exhaustion dragged the poor kids under, maia and ruby curling into each other, your heart warming when you felt the weight of logan's body leaning into yours. you let him lean against you, gently lifting your arm and resting it over his shoulder, holding him to you.

not so long into his slumber however, logan began to squirm against you, catching your attention as a small, heartbreaking cry left his lips. the poor boy was having a nightmare.

gently, you gripped his shoulders, squeezing lightly as you tried to wake him up. "hey, shh, hey, logan it's okay," you whisper, your heart clenching as another soft cry leaves his lips.

dean's eyes snap to you in the rear view mirror, the cry breaking his concentration on the road. "he okay?"

"he's having a nightmare," you say, meeting dean's eyes for a second, before a pained gasp draws your attention back to the boy next to you. his eyes snap open, brimming with tears as they meet yours, his trembling lips parted like he's trying to say something, but nothing comes out. "hey, hey, buddy, it's okay, you're okay."

you're shocked when he suddenly surges forward, crashing into you with a sniffle. as soon as he does though, your instincts kick in, your arms wrapping tightly around him, one hand cupping the back of his head to you as you shush him softly.

"shh, s'alright honey, you're safe, you're okay," you whisper, tilting your head down to press a kiss to the top of his head, continuing to murmur soft reassurances into his slightly matted hair.

what you didn't see was dean watching you in the rear view mirror. his eyes stayed glued on you and the little boy until he absolutely had to look back at the road, doing so just long enough that he didn't crash, then his gaze returned to you.

something about seeing you with the kids, the way you interacted with and entertained them the whole ride, and especially now, watching you hold and care for this little boy you didn't even know, it did something to him. it started with a pull in his chest, squeezing at his heart, but it moved lower and lower, sparking a heat in his stomach as images flashed in his mind.

you, barefoot and your soft stomach swollen as you grew his child inside of you. you, holding his child in your arms, just like you're doing to little logan right now. a life out of hunting, the life he's always secretly dreamed of, white picket fence and all. dean thinks about how you'd feel, the way your body would change, how he'd be able to mold it with his hands, how sensitive you'd be as he drags his fingers over your skin, up to your chest, making you moan his name.

he's abruptly brought out of his thoughts as a soft melody reaches his ears. he lifts his eyes to the mirror again, and he swears if he was standing up, he would've swooned.

you've got the little boy cradled to your chest, one of your hands cupping the back of his head to hold him to you as you rock gently, your lips pressed to his head, but he can still hear your soft voice.

singing.

dean had never heard you sing before, but he decided then and there that screw his pride, he was gonna ask you to sing for him.

later, after maia and ruby had been dropped off, not going before giving dean a crushing hug, the impala rumbled over to the other side of town to logan's house.

you hoisted the sleeping boy higher in your arms, holding him securely against your chest and covering the back of his head as you step out of the impala, nodding to sam and dean in silent assurance before walking up to the small house.

dean just watched you through the window, his eyes glued to you as you knocked on the door, careful not to wake logan. his anxious tapping of the steering wheel slows to a stop, a contrast to the beat of his heart, which rapidly speeds up as the front door opens, his eyes glued to you as the hysterical parents graciously thank you. his gaze never leaves you, eyes zeroed in on you as you hand over the sleeping boy, his racing heart swelling as you smile at them, leaning down to press one last kiss to the sleeping boy's head before bidding them goodbye.

sam clears his throat next to him, snapping dean out of his daze as you turn to head back to where they wait in the impala. dean tears his eyes from you to glare at sam, who has a knowing smirk on his face.

"what?" dean snaps, a flush crawling up his neck at being caught staring at you.

"nothing," sam replies, shrugging nonchalantly, but the smirk never leaves his face. "just never figured you were the type."

"type?" dean asks, his brow furrowing in confusion. "type to what?"

sam opens his mouth to respond, but he doesn't get the chance to as you open the door of the impala, swiftly sliding into the backseat pausing at the looks on the brothers faces.

"am i interrupting something?" you ask, raising your eyebrows as you look between them.

the brothers share a look, doing their silent telepathy trick that you've never understood, but then dean is clearing his throat and starting the car, eyes focused through the window as he pulls out of the driveway. "nope, just ready to get back to the motel," he responds curtly, and you can sense there's more to it, but you don't pry.

the ride back to the motel is silent except for the soft hum of the radio in the background, but you don't mind. all you can focus on anyways if getting dean alone in your motel room.

when you finally do arrive, you practically drag him out of the car, ignoring sam's roll of his eyes as you hastily unlock the motel room, stumbling in with more force then necessary and closing it behind you.

"what's the rush?" dean questions, the signature winchester smirk on his lips as he shrugs off his jacket and flannel, tossing them onto a nearby chair. "didn't know you got hot and bothered over killin' vamps."

you normally would respond with a roll of your eyes, quipping something back at him, but right now you're too focused the way his plain black t shirt is stretched over his chest, his biceps practically bulging in the sleeves making you almost salivate. you bite your lip as your eyes rake over him, lingering on his arms as the images of him gently cradling your child creep back into your head, making a familiar heat curl in your stomach.

he notices the lack of response, taking a step closer to you, ducking his head slightly to try and meet your gaze. "uh, hello? you gonna tell me what's got you all worked up or are you just gonna keep starin' at me like i'm a fresh piece o' pie?" he asks, snapping you out of your daze, your eyes flicking up to meet his.

your face heats up, a flush painting your cheeks as you avert your gaze sheepishly, slightly embarrassed at the thoughts running through your head.

"s'nothing," you mumble, dropping your eyes to your feet, suddenly finding the floor very interesting.

dean tuts at you, stepping closer, close enough that the tips of his boots come into view where your eyes are stuck on the ground. "ain't nothin' if it's got you flustered like this, sweetheart," he drawls, lifting a hand to your chin, cupping it and raising your head to meet his gaze. "so, i'll ask again. what's got my girl all worked up?"

you bite your lip again, your thighs involuntarily clenching together at the low timbre of his voice, the heat in your core starting to outweigh your pride. "i just..." you start, feeling the anxiety bubble up in your chest as you start to ramble. "you were really good with the kids today and i know its stupid, and i know you don't want kids but i saw you with them and it just really got me goin' for some reason and-"

"woah, woah," dean cuts you off, both of his hands moving to cup your cheeks, keeping your eyes focused on his, his thumbs stroking your cheeks gently like he could slow your rapid heartbeat through your skin. "slow down, baby, take a breath."

he just stares at you for a moment and you get the hint, taking in a slow breath, exhaling and letting some of the tension flow from your body. "good girl," he murmurs, tucking some of your hair behind your ear gently. "so, from what i heard, you are all worked up, thighs clenchin' and everything because of watchin' me with the kids?"

you don't answer with words, anxiety too tight in your throat as heat creeps up your neck, so you just nod your head in his hands.

"use your words, pretty girl," dean corrects, but there's something deeper in his voice, and you swear you can see his eyes darken as his grip on your face tightens just slightly.

"yes," you breathe out, swiping your tongue over your dry lips before pulling the bottom one between your teeth.

"oh, that's it, huh?" he asks, his voice lowering to a rumble that sends a shiver up your spine. "you wanna make me a daddy? let me fill you up and make you a mama?"

your eyes widen in surprise at his reaction, and you feel a flood of arousal drench your panties, making you clench your thighs together harder. the shock of his words wears off as he squeezes your cheeks a little tighter, urging you to answer him.

a strangled whine leaves your throat at the images his words create in your lust-hazed brain, and when you nod in his grip, a groan leaves his lips, his pupils dilating so much there's only a ring of shining evergreen around them.

"shit, babygirl, you have no idea what that does to me.." he growls, one of his hands slipping from your cheek to grip your hip tightly. he pulls you flush against him, and you can feel the heat of his body, along with the hardness that is pressed into your stomach, making your knees weak. "i was thinkin' the same about you all damn night long."

"you were?" you ask, your voice turning into more of a squeak when he dips his head down to nip at your neck.

"uh huh," dean mumbles into your skin, sucking on your pulse point so hard you swear stars flash behind your eyes. "just the way you interacted with the kids, when logan had that nightmare...all the sudden i just pictured you, all barefoot 'n round with my kid."

you whimper at the image, your eyes slipping shut as his hands drag down to the hem of your shirt, tugging on it lightly before pulling back enough to tear it over your head, tossing it who knows where before diving back down to btie at your neck.

"dean..." you moan breathlessly, back arching to give him more access as he trails his hands up to deftly unclip your bra, sliding the straps down your shoulders.

"that what you want?" he growls your name, the heat in his voice so intense you suddenly feel dizzy. "you want me to fill you up? fuck you so deep it sticks, then you can go around tellin' everyone it was me who knocked you up?"

you nod desperately, grinding your hips into him, groaning in frustration when you get no friction. "yes, god yes," you pant, gripping his shoulders to push him back from you enough to look him in the eyes. "please-"

that was all it took for the last of his resolve to break.

the next few moments were a blur of belt buckles and buttons as you both tugged at each others clothes, ripping them off and tossing them onto the floor of the now disheveled motel room. eventually, you both landed on the bed, now bare to each other, dean falling on top of you and immediately crashing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss.

you moan into his mouth, arching your back and wrapping your arms around his shoulders to dig your nails into his skin, bucking your hips up into him. the what between your thighs was too much now, an almost painful ache that only worsened when his hands slipped down to grab your grinding hips, pinning them firmly to the mattress.

"dean-" you start to whine when he pulls away from ravaging your mouth, but he cuts you off with another fierce kiss, stealing your breath away before he pulls back again, his eyes burning as they took you in.

"jesus christ," dean murmurs your name, his gaze raking down your flushed skin, lingering on your heaving chest before landing on the now sticky mess between your legs. "you've got no idea what you do to me, pretty girl."

"please dean," you whine, hips wiggling under his grip. when he doesn't acknowledge your plea, your hands drag up his shoulders to tightly tangle in the short strands of his hair, tugging until his eyes are on yours. "fuck me, please."

if possible, dean's eyes darken further, the jade that you love so much almost completely consumed by lust blown black, the sight making your thighs tighten around his hips.

"can't refuse my girl, now can i?" he pants, one of his hands leaving your hip to pump himself a few times before he lines himself up with your sopping entrance. your breath hitches as his leaking head notches at your hole, fingers digging into his scalp. it only seems to spur him on, a deep groan reverberating in his chest before he pushes into you, low moans leaving you both at the feeling. "fuck, sweetheart, you feel so fuckin' good."

your jaw goes slack, your eyes going hooded as he fills you to the brim, your body hyper aware of every ridge and vein as his cock settles in your clenching walls. you both stay still for a moment, getting used to the feel of each other, before the ache in your core starts to build again.

"move, dean, move, please," you whimper, opening your heavy eyes to meet his, wriggling your hips under him.

he groans, nodding before dropping his forehead to yours, his breath fanning over your lips. he's still not moving, and you open your mouth to beg him again, but before you can say a word, he pulls out almost all the way, gripping your hips tightly, then slams back into you, hard.

you cry out, your back arching as your hands move to grip his shoulders for dear life, your nails leaving red crescent shapes in their wake. he doesn't give you time to recover before he's doing it again, then again, and again, until he's building a steady pace that has your legs wrapping tightly around his waist, your toes curling in the air.

"oh fuck- dean-" you choke, words cut off as a particularly harsh thrust has his tip ramming into your cervix with so much force that your vision goes black for a second.

"shit, yeah..yeah that's it, pretty girl," dean grunts in response, the force of his thrusts causing his nose to bump yours, your foreheads still pressed together. "let me feel ya, squeeze this pretty pussy 'round me till she gushes all over my cock."

his filthy words only push you closer to the edge, your nails dragging down his back, making him groan. "fuck, fuck," you gasp as he rubs against that sweet, gummy spot inside you, your back arching as the coil in your stomach tightens.

"mhm, right there, baby?" he growls, his words almost a coo as he angles his hips to hit that sensitive spot with each thrust. "yeah, that's it right there. c'mon, you're so close, aren't ya, pretty girl?"

you nod, clenching your eyes shut as his thrusts punch broken whines and whimpers from you, leaving you breathless. a sharp slap to your thigh has your eyes flying open, a small yelp leaving you at the stinging contact.

"eyes on me, baby," he demands, and you oblige, your mouth hanging open as you continue to fly towards the edge. "atta girl, there you go. such a naughty fuckin' girl, gettin' wet 'cause all you wanted was my cock in you, fillin' you with my cum 'til it sticks. that's what you want, isn't it, baby? to be full of my cum, waiting 'til it sticks, then being full 'n round with my kid?"

all you can do is moan, the harsh movements of his hips and the way his tip his hitting the tip of your cervix perfectly succeeding in fucking you dumb.

"yeah, that's what i thought," dean mumbles, tilting his head to nip at your bottom lip, slipping one hand between your sweat slicked bodies to rub tight circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves. "cum for me, baby, squeeze my cock 'til there's nothing left, ya know you want it. c'mon mama, give it to me."

the nickname is what pushes you over the edge with a scream that you think is his name, but you're too far gone to really know. your mind goes blank as your orgasm crashes over you in white hot pleasure, back arching and legs shaking.

somewhere in the back of your hazy mind, you hear dean groan your name, and you can feel his sticky release painting your insides, the warmth making your toes curl and legs shake as you come down.

when you start to regain some of your senses, dean's head is buried in your neck, his breath hot and heavy against your skin as he brings himself back down to earth. his rough hands run soothingly up and down your sides, sliding down to your trembling thighs.

after a moment, the room silent except for the both of yours heavy pants, dean speaks up, his voice slightly hoarse.

"goddamn, babygirl, 'f i knew me knockin' you up got you so turned on i would've brought it up a long time ago," he mutters into your neck, pulling a tired laugh from your lungs.

you sigh softly, head falling back against the bed as you try to bring your heartbeat down, his words ringing in your head. "thought you didn't want kids," you mumble in response, your hands stroking gently along his back, soothing the marks you made.

"i-" dean starts, but cuts himself off, pausing for a moment before he lifts his head from your sweaty skin to look down at you. one of his hands comes up, brushing some of your damp hair away from your eyes, his thumb lingering as he brushes the digit gently over your brow. "i didn't, not really. not until you."

the words steal the breath from your lungs again, your eyes widening slightly as you stare up at him. you search his expression for any sort of insincerity, but all you find is a look of love so intense you feel like he's tearing your heart straight from your chest. "not until me?" you ask, your voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

"not until you," he repeats, his words soft. he stares at you for a moment before sighing, tilting his head as he continue to admire you. "i never thought i would get a chance at the apple pie life, hell i didn't even really want to think about it, but then i met you, and everything changed."

his words, so heartfelt and so real, leave you speechless, your heart still pounding in your chest as you stared up at him in awe.

"you make me want all of those things, make me think i actually might deserve them," he continues, his thumb still brushing softly at your skin. "and i know we haven't...officially talked about it, but i love you, and if it really is somethin' you want, there's no one else i'd rather start a family with. if-if that's what you want, 'f course."

you don't even hesitate before you answer, a smile pulling at your lips. "yes," you breathe out, feeling your heart flutter in your chest. "there's no one i'd rather do it with."

a grin lights up dean's face, a look of boyish joy highlighting his features. without responding first, he grabs your face in his hands, cupping your cheeks and peppering kisses all over your heated face, making you giggle.

"you have no idea how damn happy that makes me," he mumbles between kisses, pressing on last, lingering kiss to your lips before dipping his head again, burrowing into your neck, his arms wrapping tightly around you. "you're gonna be the best mama."

you laugh softly, a warm feeling spreading in your chest as you wrap your arms around him in return. "we gotta get cleaned up first, then we'll continue this conversation," you mutter into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, but he just grumbles, burying his face further in your neck.

"later," he mumbles, pressing a kiss to your pulse point, content with just holding you in his arms. "just wanna stay here."

"okay," you whisper into his hair, relaxing into his hold. "we can stay here."

dean hums into your neck, and you can feel him smile against your skin, making your heart skip a beat in your chest. you knew it wasn't going to be easy, getting out of the life never was, hell just living as hunters wasn't easy, and raising a kid was gonna be harder. but you knew that you had dean, and in the end, that's all that mattered.

he was all that mattered.

bri's thoughts! bri write a position that isn't missionary challenge: fail. (i'm sorry i'm basic i crave intimacy) okay so here it is! finally actually finished something (the 50 unfinished works in my drafts are screaming at me rn) and now i'm gonna go to bed and dream about being on snl because it is my current obsession, especially after the 50th anniversary episode, which i recommend everybody watch! so i won't shut up about that but anyways, here this finally!

tags! @ultravi0lence14 @bluemerakis @titsout4jackles @soldiersgirl @dulcescorderitas @flormpus @star-yawnznn @Jaredpadonlyyyy @grangerously @dclover27 @chronic-fangirl-222 @stevesxwhore @deans-baby-momma @spnaquakingdom

[strangelittlestories]

Something interesting about archaeology is that it’s actually not that interesting: even when you’re on a dig, most of it is dirt and logistics and fragments.

Something scary about ghosts is that they’re actually not that frightening: even when you have a haunting, most of it is ectoplasm and low-key longing and echoes.

The fascinating bit about both is that, sometimes, when you piece all the boring bits together, you get a story; a story of how people used to live. It will probably be a story about something mundane, like how people cooked or what their bathroom solutions were.

For example: at this particular dig, we found fragments of large cooking pots in a few larger buildings. The smaller buildings that seemed to be individual homes did not have *any* surviving cooking pots (not even any copper remnants); however, they did have at least one well preserved earthenware bowl inscribed with runes.

These runes turned out to be a close match to an early rune of co-locating folk magic, seen primarily in the Katabasic region. The bowl was also adorned with a slate inlay, of a kind that was often used to write upon in chalk.

The apparent conclusion? This settlement operated a communal cooking operation that delivered food to order. We would assume the recipient would write their request in chalk on the slate inlay of their bowl, and the runes would briefly trick reality into thinking the inside of the bowl and the inside of the pot occupied the same space. Thus, the bowl would magically fill with food.

So, yeah. These folks had invented magical Doordash.

I briefly considered trying to replicate their system on my travel mug. The coffee on the dig site was *dreadful*, so I figured I could have my husband make some nice single origin cold brew back home (or maybe a nice pot of darjeeling second flush?) and teleport it in. But as it was likely tied to local hospitality folk magic, this would likely run across three problems: 1. Range limitations. 2. It may only work for community members. 3. Folk magic sometimes used local deities or spirits as intermediaries and popping a new request in the inbox of a dormant god was usually a bad call.

Oh, and reason number 4: the bowl we’d excavated was extremely haunted.

This may, in fact, explain why it was so well preserved. Theurgic suffusation is the term - if the spirit is clinging tightly enough to the atoms of the object, then time starts to think the material is just as undying as the soul.

You know how I mentioned the scary thing about ghosts is that they’re not scary? They only persist as fully ensouled beings as long as their unfinished business can feasibly *be finished*. Even with generation blood debts, they still tend to become unviable with a couple of centuries. Then the soul slowly starts to move on, leaving only an imprint on the umbra. That’s what’s scary about ghosts: even that which is undying will be eaten by history.

Except this blighter apparently.

So I ran a chemical analysis on the trace molecules left on the lining of the bowl. Then I ran the runes through a penumbral simulation matrix.

The bowl contained traces of calcified aconite. The runes showed an exploit in the magic; the teleportation could be hijacked by holy petition or speculative conjuration.

The ghost had been poisoned. Murdered.

And if they were still a ghost, then whoever killed them was *still around*.

I really really hope that I never meet whatever person or creature is apparently still alive close to a millennia after they murdering someone in a way that is both *really clever* and *really nasty*.

But oh buddy, oh pal … what I want may be immaterial. For surely do intend to figure out the whole of this story.

---

With thanks to Ellie for the submission of the Archaeologist (fearless, frightened, fancy) to the Character of the Month club.

Want to submit your own characters for my stories? Consider supporting me on Ko-Fi with a recurring donation https://ko-fi.com/strangelittlestories

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

SAGAU thoughts, let's go

Ajax, an Abyss-touched mortal, who has long been told that his violent nature would never garner favor with the gods, much less the Creator. Childe, whose Harbinger comrades care not for the myths of the Creator, preferring to forge their own path. they tell him, the youngest, to allow the Creator to hate him- if that is the exchange for writing their own destinies, the Fatui will gladly take it.

but for Childe, it hurts to think this way. even more so for Foul Legacy; the Abyssal creatures who only have one salvation, the hands of the all-loving Creator. to hear that the Creator will hate him breaks his heart, Legacy taking over their shared body and curling into a corner to sob, taking comfort in the darkness of Childe's room.

the Creator is never seen nor heard, yet still guards all of Teyvat- which is why it's such a surprise when you end up getting tossed into Mondstadt, ripped away from your familiar world into another. it's still familiar, only not in the way you expect, having seen Teyvat behind a screen all this time. all the characters you know and love seem to be dedicated to worshiping you, praising your grace and power and watching your every move.

it's extremely overwhelming. you just want to befriend your favorite characters- the most beloved of which you can't even find! but you're stubborn and determined above all else, and set out alone to find out where Childe, your favorite DPS, could be hiding.

he shies away when he sees you in the distance, your features familiar from so many books and carvings, but instead of disgusted, you look... excited? he blinks, and suddenly you seem much smaller, Foul Legacy's love for you allowing him to hijack Childe's body for a moment. Legacy yelps and shrinks back further, trying to hide himself to avoid what he assumes must be a scornful glare. but instead he feels gentle hands cupping his cheeks, your soft laughter music to his ears as you greet him.

"Hello, Legacy."

his wings flutter upon hearing your kind voice utter his name, with all the love and affection you can give, and when your arms wrap tightly around his waist he feels like he could sing. your hands move to scritch under his chin, and Foul Legacy croons in delight, allowing himself to melt into your touch, snuggling his masked face into your palms. the taint of the Abyss seems far away, the pain soothed beneath your fingertips as Legacy begins to purr for the first time in his life, holding you, his beloved Creator, close to him.

and you let him, hugging him back, because you adore Childe, Foul Legacy, and the Abyss with all your divine heart.

[humdinky]

i just finished watching scavenger's reign yesterday, and let me tell y'all this is genuinely the best piece of sci-fi media i have seen in a long while, and it's insane how little i've seen this show being discussed online! it is probably the most unique and viscerally stunning series i’ve ever seen. the world that they have created is equal parts fascinating and terrifying, and every part of it feels fully realized. sci-fi is at its best when it lets go of nostalgia and explores the unknown, and SR gives me hope that real sci-fi can take root again, and be something beyond what came before it.

i will refrain from giving too much away in my discussion because this show works best the less you know going into it. the premise for this show is simple: crewmembers of a crashed freighter ship are left scattered across an alien planet. a good chunk of time has already passed by the time the show begins, and a few of the survivors have already established camps. however, things quickly spiral out of control as disaster wipes away their progress and forces each of them to move on. it's a harsh and unforgiving world that tests them each and every step of the way on their journey.

worldbuilding is where this show truly shines. it is no easy thing to design an entire ecosystem from scratch. it takes an insane amount of creativity and attention to detail to pull off what this show has. and my god did they fucking pull it off. living balloons floating through the air, large sea creatures that suck up their eggs when faced with danger, tendrilled plants that spawn clones of their prey to track them down - it is a frightening, surreal, and violent world, but harmonious in its own way. some creatures poison you, others clean off the poison. there are your typical type of predators that come at you with sharp fangs and giant pincers, but then there are predators that hunt via more insidious means: manipulating the memories of their prey to have them do their bidding, or hijacking their bodies from the inside. ultimately, the characters who fare best in this world are those who learn to adapt to it, and even sync with it.

SR also boasts a surprisingly well-crafted narrative. we are shown just enough of the world to keep us hooked, but it still feels like there is a lot left to be discovered. i also really enjoy the way the story is delivered to us. we follow the journeys of a few isolated groups whose paths gradually intersect. the characters are all fleshed out and three-dimensional - they were different enough to be unique and quirky, but never too different that it felt overboard. the way they react is exactly how humans in those circumstances would and should, the dialogue and voice acting were just superb. it felt so insanely real at times.

i really do hope that this show gets greenlit for a second season. this type of pure creative freedom is what we need right now. all in all, scavenger's reign is a gorgeous nightmare that you need to experience for yourself.

[rpgchoices]

What are the main theories about the Old Gods/Archdemons?

I am not a DA lore person but I keep thinking about the Blight and the archdemon and I AM CONFUSED

The elements I have are:

Solas dislikes the Warden and thinks pre-emptively killing the archdemons might make things worse (but he is not TOO panicky about it)

Mythal wants to preserve the soul of one of these archdemons

The Old Gods taught humans magic and used to speak with them (if it was them)

Old Gods are dragons, and we know dragons are partially resistant to the Blight

The Old Gods went silent after the magisters entered the fade

The Old Gods call to the Darkspawn (or the Darkspawn are the only ones who hear them) in a song

I think for now the three theories I had seen/could think of could be divided in:

1- The Old Gods are the trapped Evanuris in the Fade (7 of them). This could explain why the Magisters heard their voices in their sleep (Fade), and why they were led to entering the Fade (an attempt to free the Evanuris), but somehow this failed. Still, it does not explain why the Old Gods taught humans magic, and why they went silent (given that the Evanuris were not freed). It also confuses (for me) Mythal's desire to recover the soul of an Old God given she is not the biggest fan of the other Elven gods. Solas is also pretty anti-Warden and disagree with the idea that killing the dragons before the next Blight would make things better (I think he says that it might make things worse).

2- Another theory related to this is that the Evanuris stored into dragons part of their essence/magic, so the Old Gods were some kind of pets/slaves. This is a mid-way between theory 1 and 3, as it implies that the Old Gods could have been like the titans, pre-existing powerful creatures who have been defeated and enslaved by the Evanuris. If they rebelled against the Evanuris, it would make sense for them to teach humans magic and communicate with them (and the Evanuris could have hijacked their communications through the Fade to tempt the Magisters to enter the Fade, especially if the Old Gods were not too communicative).

If the Evanuris tricked the Magisters, it could mean that entering the Fade was just a way to release the Blight as a way to kill the Old Gods. The Archdemons' souls leave their bodies after their death, could it be that that part of their soul/part of whatever the Evanuris stored in them returnt to the Evanuris? This could explain why Mythal wanted to intercept a soul, and why Solas thinks that killing the archdemons would make things worse (making the Evanuris more powerful). This would explain the Blight as a bioweapon conveniently redirected to infect the Old Gods, and led them to fight and die.

3- The Old Gods are unrelated with the Evanuris, they are some ancient dragon gods who have nothing to do with elven lore. I think this is probably the most unsatisfying version for me mainly because of the silence of the Old Gods after the magisters enter the Fade. It could be that the Old Gods were silent for a much longer time, and Tevinter simply re-interpreted spirits from the Fade as them?

In general, what I am mostly curious about is why does the Darkspawn hear the song of the Old Gods? Did the old Magisters also hear a song when the Old Gods spoke, or just words? And in this case does it mean that the taint is necessary to fully hear the Old Gods in song form?

a- Why would the Old Gods call for the Darkspawn with their song? Do they want to be corrupted by the Blight? Option 2 would explain this, as in the Old Gods are put to slumber and the song is not actually them, but whatever magic in them was part of the Evanuris. Otherwise the only thing I could think of is that the Old Gods are simply "calling", but the only ones who are answering are the Darkspawn and they are corrupting them as a result. Blight is a different form of magic from the Fade, so could it be that the Old Gods are connected to the same magic?

b- Why would Mythal wait so long to try and capture the soul of an Old God if the Old Gods were Evanuris or connected to them? She surely knew how to do it, before - or has she done it before? She was around for 5 Blights.

c- Why only one Archdemon at a time? Is it that the Old Gods are buried in such difficult places and so deeply that the Darkspawn happens to only find one once in a while and it is unlikely to find two at the same time (given it would require a higher amount of Darkspawn). And if so, who or what put them there?

d- What is it about dragon blood and the Blight? I think in DA:I you find out that dragons are resistant to the Blight, but if this is the case how can the Darkspawn corrupt the Old Gods? Unless this is just a tale and the Old Gods are already "archdemon" and the Darkspawn is just freeing them? So the Archdemons do not go mad with the taint, but are acting as they would normally act. (Would this explain why Fiona was cured? If Alistair has dragon blood, and Fiona was cured, could it be that Alistair absorbed her corruption? And normally he would have not become a Grey Warden but he was already so full of corruption that it worked). Still, do Dragons happen to be naturally resistant to the Blight because originating from the same place? The Wardens' Joining also includes Archdemon's blood (dragon's blood), but clearly dragon's blood is not the only ingredient in the cure for the Blight, as it seems improbable that no one has drunk a lot of it before (especially given there are specializations that includes drinking dragon blood).

I think these are all my questions! As you can see I am mainly curious about the Old Gods connection to the Blight,

[marceltheshellwithflipflopson]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @becomethesun <3<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

allegedly 46,015, but 5,569 of those words were technically written by @freetobeyouandmichi-me in our shared au! (love ya)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

the last of us

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. cold is the water

2. buckets of rain / shelter from the storm

3. you love me so hard and i still can't sleep

4. matchbox

5. patron saints

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES when @toointojoelmiller said ao3 comments were better than drugs she was RIGHT! but fr they make me giddy every time, even if it's just a singular emoji or a bunch of exclamation points

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

maybe creature fear? just because it's so early days joel and ellie, so there's no warm and fuzzies to be had anywhere. wouldn't say it's angsty though

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm kind of incapable of writing a sad ending, so it's a three way tie between my fluffiest children (1) buckets of rain / shelter from the storm, (2) mountain high, valley low, river wide, and (3) fisherman hats and carpet stains

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not YET thank GOD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't but i have a prospect x tlou crossover in the earliest of early stages

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

kinda yes! michi wrote Roll for Halloween Hijacks for our modern au and was kind enough to name me as co-author

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm lame and most of my ships are just the ones that are already canon :/ but if i had to pick a wild card, i was oddly obsessed with peter parker/harley keener back in the marvel heyday

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i really don't want to speak this into existence, but literally any of my ideas for longfics

16. What are your writing strengths?

fluff, dialogue, authentic characters

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

underwriting, writing consistently, whump/angst

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i do not think i would be any good at this

19. First fandom you wrote for?

should i lay bare all the skeletons in my closet rn? on a tumblr that i deleted over a decade ago, i wrote a few random one-shots of fred weasley/reader, george weasley/reader, remus lupin/reader, sirius black/reader, (brace yourselves) dan howell/reader, and phil lester/reader ... what the fuck i even shipped phan so idk why i did this

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

this is a hard question but i think my home (far away). it challenged me and took me out of my comfort zone but at the same time it was some of the most fun i've ever had writing

no pressure tags! @lkay-09 @two-birds-alone-together @boopernatural (also sorry, you were probably already tagged bc of our braincell hivemind lol)

[h3ad-quarters]

*Comet thought idly to himself... if the sub cannot be piloted then.. how would he hijack one? Gods did he smell awfully fishy, one could guess that would be the case when you spend most of your time with a giant fish monster. He didn't mind the smell of salt water that stuck to his skin as much, strong but he has gotten used to it, but the smell of his fishy companion unfortunately leaves him feeling a tad queasy*

I wonder...

*Comet's thoughts trailed back to HQ, maybe he could be friended, maybe Comet could get him to help them. All he has to do is play his cards right... he never was good at cards... the sounds of the ocean and the sub was all he had at the moment*

*So he began to softly sing, words that belonged to no particular song, rather just thoughts from his heart*

Creatures of the deep, please hear my song, for long now you've wept and I am here to stay..

And so carry me away... keep me at bay, with your tooth and nail, I know I am protected by your claw and maw...

*Comet didn't even notice he made it until the doors flung open, disrupting his odd song that was never quite in tune but still sounded lovely all the same*

There was a decent echo in the sub as he sang to himself, the metal reverberating the sounds of his voice around and back to him as he passed the time.

When his sub finally reached the surface and opened up there was a man standing there, hands casually placed into his pockets as he watched the sub door full open, having taken a few steps back so water didn't get flung onto him.

"How was your trip?"

HQ spoke, his voice finally being heard unfiltered

[bad-as-me]

recently wondering if the Crucible and the One Great are the same. The lore said the GW broke apart the One Great and created bodies and souls, right? If the OG is the Crucible, maybe it's talking about evolution, and how common ancestors can have descendants who are separate species. If the OG is separate, then I'm wondering if it's a parallel to Christian missionaries converting non-Christians to their religion through manipulation or force.

OOH, ok so honestly what I think re: the One Great is that it makes an interesting inversion on the crucible's teachings. And to your point on the dogmatism of the OG, it's cool that you bring that up.

So you are definitely on the mark about the two having aesthetic similarities. They both evoke themes of convergence and "melting together" in some way. However, unlike the OG the Crucible is much more interested on the value of life and living creatures attaining their highest, most "sacred" form. In that, I'd compare the Crucible to the Big Bang, while the One Great is the Big Crunch - undoing the progress of everything until there is Nothing left.

As for what they represent as a faith, I think the FF is the most extreme case of the game's underlying themes of Free Will vs Forced Convergence. So many choices, particularly those relying to lordship and those who become gods, have the fatal catch of that absolute commitment to their faith consuming the free will of them and everyone else.

Marika's rule and the Golden Order echo this in her Holy Roman Empire-esque hold over the Lands Between, and Miquella essentially spells out the cost of godhood in his arc. The Frenzied Flame however, is fatalism in its absolute totality. You don't need apotheosis to create the amount of harm that the gods can - you can be an absolute nobody. And I think that is the existential fear running through the heart of it: that it only takes one truly committed faithful to hijack the free will of all life itself. One person is enough to undo the work of all the gods, all the empires, all of existence.

[wewillendtheword]

Name: Eleanor Bull Nationality: Australian Species: Was born human, is currently human Age: 20 Height: 5’2 Pronouns + gender: Woman, Butch, Voidpunk, Eleanor/she/her but it or they is ok Sexuality: Asexual Religion: None Neurodivergence: Autistic Siblings: None

Drawing coming soon

BACKGROUND

Eleanor found out about Ssca via Bill, who gave her some weird feathers.

She was then kidnapped by Ssca, forcing counter operations unit 5 to rescue her. The unit, undercover as band We Will End The World, and took Eleanor on board as they’ve don with other humans.

Ssca messed up Eleanor’s dna, but she’s ok with that cause “Punting fascists into the stratosphere is fun”

Eleanor was sent on a solo mission back in time as she was the most appropriate individual for the job. Eleanor (alongside Karl and Richard) also became locally famous after hijacking an extremist protest to sing about how “there is no woke agenda, but there’s alien bird people comin’ to get ya.” As well as instigating a stand up comedy when the media started asking questions.

Before joining We Will End The World and fighting Ssca, Eleanor worked at a servo (gas station), alongside working as a shearer.

As a member of the band We Will End The World, Eleanor is a vocalist.

PERSONALITY

Autism creature. The sarcastic one who doesn’t understand sarcasm. The bringer of weird solutions. Has unconditional love and unconditional anger. The one who accidentally offends everyone. Observant of everything.

Song that describes Eleanor:

INTERESTS

Like the author (me), Eleanor has a special interest in the Australian Army. Eleanor also likes birds, and enjoys the outdoors.

MISCELLANEOUS

Told Ssca to “Fuck off” when asked by the news what humanity can do about them.

Has emotional attachment to a Steyr AUG.

Idk may make the qpr between Eleanor and Karl canon.

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Eighteen: Forever Autumn Pt. 5

“...She wouldn’t…” Dolly nearly gasped as the ‘big scaly monster’ comment from Envy was actually very truthful. “She did, Dante hijacked Envy’s shapeshifting ability and turned them into this god awful serpentine dragon. Let them loose for a good long while to obliterate a town that crossed her before moving Envy to the underground to guard it before restoring Envy to their humanoid form. They suffered a bit of an increased mercury poisoning to boot as well, likely to make Envy much more aggressive during the rampage.” Greed concluded with the terrible likely fate of Envy right before the group.

 “We cannot waste time then, we really need to rescue Envy before they either harm themself or others..” Dolly prepared herself to go out in the open  regardless of being stuck in her true form at the moment.

 “How? It’s way too soon to start trying to track them and at this point, we would need to re-plan the attack on Dante.” Lust carefully placed a hand on Dolly’s shoulder to make her stay put.

 “I don’t know…just…we can’t let Envy suffer like that, not again..” Dolly carefully sat back down on the chair as her thoughts raced over what horrible things Envy was going through. “We can look in the newspaper a few days from now?” Gluttony offered, causing most at the table to be silent.

 “Gluttony? What do you mean by ‘look in the newspaper’?” Lust broke the silence to clarify what Gluttony meant. “Envy likes to kill and the newspaper likes to talk about dead people a lot..” Gluttony innocently explained the simple but brilliant idea.

“Then we’d have our lead to where Envy is…they are a bit of a murder hobo. Gluttony that’s absolutely brilliant..” Lust was impressed with how insightful Gluttony was in helping out with locating Envy.

 “Why do we have to wait till people are dying!? Doesn't Gluttony have a super sense of smell to sniff out Envy? We could just do that instead!” Edward protested, not wanting more lives to be lost already. “Fair point too, but we would need to get close to Dante’s villa cottage and that one is way too much of a risk should Dante be outside.” Lust cautioned, given how fresh this situation was now and Dante being a horrifyingly stubborn creature of sorts.

 “There has to be something else! Too many people have died already because of Dante! We cannot be adding more to the death toll!” Edward wasn’t going to let this plan slide at all as he desperately tried to figure out a better plan. “We could tie up the Face Fur to the hearse and use him as bait? He has a good bait screech going on that should attract Envy right away.” Dorian pointed a horrid clay finger right at Freddy who was stuffing his cheeks full of beef.

 “...I can’t believe it but I’m going to agree with you on using Mr. Mancer as bait..” Edward looked at the sacrificial offering known as Freiderick Augustus Mancer. “Oh my god what if Envy tries to kill me!?” Freddy immediately protested being used as a sacrificial offering to locate a dreadfully terrible gremlin. “Eh you should be fine, heads regrow themselves, right?” Ernest gave Freddy a look, clearly he is more or less on board with decapitating Freddy to attract the terrible reptilian humanoid.

 “Ernest that’s not how…” Alphonse attempted to correct Ernest’s incorrect knowledge of the human body before being hushed by Edward. “No Al, let’s just have Ernest keep that belief for now…we need a lower death toll.” Edward placed a hand on the back of Alphonse to comfort him on the possibility of losing Freddy for the greater good for everyone involved.

 “Lust you wouldn’t let them sacrifice me would you!?” Freddy was a gross mess of chewed up beef and snot over the possibility of becoming a meal for Envy the Unfriendly Dragon. “Hush now little mouse, you fulfilled our need for a stone and no longer need to be placed under our protection any more. So you’ll be tied to the roof to attract Envy.” Lust was done with Freddy’s sniffles and whines, all she wanted was not being on the run from pretty much a cult leader.

 “Dolly you wouldn’t let them use me as bait would you!? I’m family!” Freddy pleaded to his family eldritch abomination, not wanting to experience digestion first hand.

 “Don’t worry, I won’t let you die. We’re going to make sure the hearse is insanely swift and fast enough to avoid Envy trying to eat you.” Dolly attempted to reassure Freddy that he won’t be devoured horrifically and painfully by the power of automotive speed. “Damn it that’s not what I meant!” Freddy resigned himself to a fate worse than death, being a bait for a murder dragon called Envy. “Damn Face Fur, you’re a piece of work, aren’t yah? I’m still surprised Envy hadn’t attempted to murder you yet.” Greed held Freddy in regard of being the first human being to not be horrifically brutalized to death by the human hating booger.

 “Well Envy did refer to Mister Mancer as their albatross around their neck, so maybe he has immunity?” Alphonse innocently responded to the possible human sacrifice about to be pulled off.

 “See Face Fur, you have the blessings of being a curse upon Envy to ensure your own grotesque existence.” Dorian chimed in with Ernest’s full approval.

 “Why does everything I make comes to hate me…WHY?!” Freddy's face planted into the dining table upon realizing his creations hated him so much.

 “Well I guess it comes from the fact you separated us and sold me off to the government to be experimented on. So thanks a lot for that I guess.” Ernest glared at Freddy with his horrible little gold orbs for eyes as he debated on finishing the job by eating the rest of Freddy’s arm.

 “So it’s settled then? We’re all for using Freddy as bait to lure Envy out once we’re able to figure out their location?” Lust was going to settle with this plan, especially seeing as Freddy is indeed the best possible bait out there. “Might as well there Lust! MIGHT AS WELL! All I ask for is to wait till Dolly has fully recovered from the massive teleportation stunt she did. We're going to need Dolly’s ability if we’re overwhelmed with Envy’s draconic antics.” Freddy found himself almost growling like Envy for a moment and for a fleeting moment relating with the green asshole.

 “Does that mean I get your consent to eat the rest of your arm there Face Fur?” Ernest looked intensely at Freddy’s arm, clearly he was a determined bastard of sorts.

 “NO, NOPE, NADA, FUCK THIS TO HELL AND BACK.” Freddy clutched his arm with the malformed scar from the shady homunculus styled medical care incident.

[bishopclimate]

Day 6 of Deliverance: Birds, Insects, and Creatures as Demonic Watchers • Spiritual use of animals in satanic monitoring• Exposing creatures assigned to watch and report Teaching What if the strange bird perching on your window wasn’t just a bird? What if that crawling insect on your wall that seemed to appear out of nowhere had a demonic assignment? Throughout history and across cultures, animals have played significant roles in both divine and demonic spiritual encounters. While God has used animals—like the donkey that spoke to Balaam or ravens that fed Elijah—the enemy has long twisted creation for his own dark purposes. In the realm of witchcraft and satanic monitoring, animals are more than creatures—they can be tools of spiritual surveillance. Satan is not a creator; he is a manipulator. He hijacks what God made and reassigns it for destruction. In the case of spiritual monitoring, birds, insects, and other creatures are often used by witches and familiar spirits to watch, track, and even spiritually infiltrate individuals, homes, and entire territories. These demonic watchers fall under a broader class of spiritual espionage that we call shape-shifting agents or animal spirits. Their goal is always the same—to observe, report, and sometimes attack. Let’s look at how this works: Birds (Spiritual Surveillance from Above):Birds are commonly used in the occult for aerial surveillance. Owls, crows, pigeons, and blackbirds are among the most common. In many cultures and satanic rituals, these birds are sent to perch near windows, rooftops, or powerlines, acting as eyes in the sky for witches. They appear especially when someone is praying, fasting, or approaching a spiritual breakthrough. These birds do not act naturally. They remain unshaken by movement, appear persistently, or emit strange cries. Their assignment is to gather spiritual intelligence and return with information to demonic altars. Insects (Spiritual Spies that Infiltrate):Insects such as flies, ants, cockroaches, spiders, and moths are used to invade homes or personal spaces. They represent intrusion—small and unnoticed—but capable of being everywhere. These insects are often released through rituals or altars, and once inside, act as monitoring devices. If you’ve had strange infestations that don’t respond to normal solutions or insects showing up only in certain rooms or during prayer, it may be more than natural. In some cases, insects appear in dreams, representing demonic monitoring or invasion. Cats, Bats, and Reptiles (Animal Familiars):In witchcraft, certain animals are considered familiars—creatures that accompany or embody spirits. Black cats are heavily used in rituals and are believed to have the ability to see into spiritual realms. Bats, snakes, and lizards may appear physically or in dreams as messengers or observers. These creatures often mark the presence of demonic activity or an established altar nearby. Dream Creatures:Sometimes, animals appear repeatedly in dreams. Whether it’s being chased by dogs, bitten by snakes, or watching swarms of insects, these dreams are not random. They’re spiritual clues. Each animal has a symbolic meaning, often tied to demonic agendas. A snake, for example, can represent betrayal or witchcraft. A spider may represent manipulation or entrapment. A dog may symbolize a familiar spirit or lust. These dreams are the spiritual version of hidden camera surveillance. The truth is, the demonic realm thrives on disguise. Monitoring spirits operating through creatures do so because most people won’t question it. They'll brush off that strange owl on the window. They’ll ignore the recurring flies in one room of their house. They’ll downplay the dreams of swarming locusts or biting cats. But what you fail to confront spiritually will continue to operate legally. It’s important to understand: the presence of these animals is not always demonic. But when their patterns are unnatural, consistent, or accompanied by fear, stagnation, confusion, or nightmares—it’s time to investigate. You must always partner with the Holy Spirit for discernment. You can shut down these operations by: Anointing your property and home boundaries Commanding all demonic watchers to go blind and lose access Breaking any known or unknown covenants with familiar spirits Destroying objects, gifts, or symbols that may be drawing them Declaring your home a no-fly zone for the enemy The blood of Jesus covers your space. The fire of God consumes every demonic device. And the authority given to you by Christ renders every animal-based watcher powerless. It’s time to reclaim your spiritual territory and declare: “No creature of darkness can monitor me!” Journal Prompts Have you ever noticed strange animal behavior around your home or during prayer? Have any insects or birds appeared persistently in certain seasons of your life? Have you had any disturbing animal-related dreams recently or repeatedly? Do you feel any particular rooms or areas in your home feel spiritually “off”? What actions can you take to spiritually cleanse your environment today? Action Step Walk the perimeter of your home today—both indoors and outdoors. As you walk, anoint door frames, windows, corners, and especially any spots where strange creatures have appeared. Declare out loud:“No creature—physical or spiritual—has permission to monitor me. I blind every demonic eye and seal my space with the blood of Jesus.” Affirmation I am surrounded by divine fire. No demonic bird, insect, or creature can watch or track my life. My home is covered. My dreams are protected. I walk in spiritual discernment and full authority. Testimonies Darwin – United KingdomDarwin noticed a blackbird that would sit on the same window ledge every morning during his 6 a.m. prayer. At first, he thought nothing of it—until he started having disturbing dreams and waking up exhausted. He reached out to Bishop Climate Ministries and was advised to anoint his window and speak deliverance prayers over his home. Within two days, the bird stopped coming, the dreams ended, and his strength returned. Danika – PolandDanika struggled with an infestation of ants in one room of her house—despite deep cleaning and pest control. She also experienced sudden migraines and confusion when entering that room. During a virtual deliverance session with Bishop Climate, it was revealed that a family member had placed a curse using earth-based rituals. Through anointing and prayer, the infestation stopped, the atmosphere shifted, and the attacks ceased. Her home became a sanctuary again. Real-Life Application Think of your home like a spiritual embassy. Just like embassies are sovereign territory in a foreign land, your space must be claimed as holy ground. Surveillance spirits using animals or insects are spiritual trespassers. You wouldn’t tolerate a hidden camera in your bedroom—don’t tolerate spiritual eyes in your atmosphere. Take authority. Cleanse your ground. Declare your home off-limits to the enemy. Scripture & Prayer Focus Scripture:“Behold, I give unto you power… over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” – Luke 10:19 Prayer Focus:Father, I thank You for authority over every creeping thing, flying thing, and unclean thing in the spirit. I cancel every assignment of surveillance sent through birds, insects, or creatures. I blind every demonic watcher. I send confusion to every monitoring spirit. Let every curse spoken through animals or familiar spirits be broken. I reclaim my property, my space, and my dreams. My atmosphere is now under divine protection, in Jesus’ name. Amen. 12 Prophetic Declarations I declare my home is free from all demonic watchers. I decree every bird or insect sent to monitor me is destroyed. I declare spiritual blindness upon every creature sent to spy. I decree the fire of God surrounds my dwelling. I declare no creature shall surveil me in the day or night. I decree all assignments of witchcraft creatures are canceled. I declare my dreams are protected from animal-based infiltration. I decree peace over my property, sleep, and space. I declare the angel of the Lord encamps around my home. I decree every portal used by familiar spirits is closed. I declare I am alert, discerning, and victorious. I decree full spiritual security in Jesus’ name. 12 Powerful Prayer Points Every spiritual bird watching me—fall down and die! Every insect sent as a demonic spy—be consumed by fire! I blind every eye assigned to monitor me through animals. Every creature assigned from witchcraft altars—go blind and scatter! I anoint my home and declare it off-limits to darkness. Every dream of snakes, birds, or insects—I cancel and reject! Let the fire of God destroy all familiar spirit access points. I disconnect my life from all animal-based demonic networks. Every cursed object drawing creatures—be destroyed now! I command every unclean spirit to leave my space and not return. I establish angelic protection over my sleep and home. I seal my atmosphere with the fire and blood of Jesus. Final Thought You are not crazy. You are not imagining things. What looks natural may have a spiritual purpose. But you are not powerless. With discernment, prayer, and boldness, you can shut down every surveillance system—whether it walks, crawls, or flies. From today forward, you are spiritually secured. No creature shall monitor your life again. Walk with fire. Live untracked. Sleep unbothered. 🔥 This is just Day 6 of the powerful deliverance master program from 30 Days to Destroy Monitoring Spirits: A Daily Guide to Discerning and Silencing Spiritual Surveillance by Dr. Climate Wiseman. If you’ve experienced strange animal behaviors, spiritual attacks through dreams, or feel like your space is under unseen observation—this book was written for YOU. 📘 Start your 30-day journey to spiritual freedom and complete surveillance shut-down.👉 Get your copy today at: https://wonderfulbooks.org/product/30-days-to-destroy-monitoring-spirits/ Your life is not public property. Your home is not open season. Take it back—one day at a time.30 Days To Destroy Monitoring Spirits: A Daily Guide To Discerning And Silencing Spiritual Surveillance 🌍 Bishop Climate Ministries has helped thousands around the world experience real deliverance, spiritual breakthrough, and divine protection. ✅ Want to go deeper?🎓 Enroll now in our online deliverance programs at:👉 www.prophetclimateacademy.com This is your season to be free. This is your moment to fight back. Let the watchers watch themselves. You’re covered now. #MonitoringSpirits #Deliverance #SpiritualWarfare #BishopClimateMinistries #PropheticFire #MonitoringSpirits #Deliverance #SpiritualWarfare #BishopClimateMinistries #PropheticFire #30DaysSeries Read the full article

[campmurderparty]

ingrid & soap.

Life had found her again. Death had tried to take her again. All the air around them was being stolen by her sobbing, barely able to catch her breath as she cried out every bit of sorrow inside her. She never wanted any of this. She was practically promised nothing like this would happen to her. Weyland-yutani of course put in their employee contracts for space travel that anything could happen to a ship (and that they weren’t liable for most space-related accidents) but she believed she had the reasonable expectation that she wouldn’t be nearly murdered by creatures on her voyage. She believed she would be relatively safe, that it would be a simple investigation on a prison planet and she’d be home in her own bed in a month’s time. They had warned about spacecraft-related incidents like hijacking by raiders or the occasional crash with an asteroid, but said nothing about aliens. Or mutants. Whatever they were didn’t matter to ingrid, only that they tried to kill her and soap. Multiple times.

Soap! God, her savior. He had been paid to protect her and she had the errant thought that he earned that paycheck. She wished he didn’t have to. She wished that she could’ve saved herself, but each time she was in danger, she had to wait on him instead of taking care of it herself. It strangely made her feel guilty, like she had failed him. She had failed herself.

At least she had soap. The weight of his hand on her back was heavy. it was the only thing keeping ingrid grounded. It was the only solace she had. Ingrid thought she could live in his embrace forever in that moment. She didn’t know how much more she could take.

Then she had to take more again.

Her sobs upturned into a scream when something erupted out of the water. Ingrid shifted in soap’s arms to see the creature that advanced upon them, much different than any other. For probably the fifth or sixth time in just a few short hours, she was sure she was going to die. Instead of facing it, she pressed her face against his armor and tried to accept that this was the end.

There was an explosion behind her head. She couldn’t see it die, but she felt something spray her back and had to assume it was the creature’s insides. Another sob. Ingrid never felt so hopeless in her entire life. She just wanted to cry. She wanted to sit there on the metal grated floor of the corridor and just wait for whatever else was going to come for them. What was the point of fighting on? Everything in the ship wanted them dead. Maybe it would be better to just let it happen. End their misery.

Soap had other plans, it seemed. Ingrid didn’t voice her hopelessness, only disentangled herself off of his torso and sat back for a moment, before calling up to him, “wait.” slowly, she got up from the corridor floor and took a look over her body. She was bruised, but wasn’t missing any limbs. She felt around for the pulse gun that he gave her earlier, though couldn’t locate it; it must’ve been lost to the water below. The only thing she had to protect herself floated away. She tried not to sob again. Then she looked over at soap and wordlessly approached him. She did the same to him, looking over to check for wounds or bruises. It was harder to see if he was injured due to his heavy armor, but nothing seemed to be broken. She had to stand on the toes of her boots to reach up and put her hands on his face, feeling up to the back of his head. She tried not to look him in the eye.

“Okay.” ingrid nodded, relaxing back onto her heels. She turned towards the map on the wall that he had noticed moments ago. “We have to get out of here.” despite how she had just wanted to give up and succumb to the horror on the ship, she didn’t actually want to die. Not on this fucking ship. “I don’t care about weyland-yutani or some stupid prison planet anymore, soap. Let’s go home.”  

[deceptigay]

god, somehow sad i missed the poll

for anyone interested this is one of the things that creates fun little rifts between biologists as a group. the discussion really stems from what you define as being alive

most concepts of "what is life" are based off the ability to reproduce and have your own metabolism, which viruses do not have. however, I've seen people claim that to be alive all you need is genetic material - thus, by this definition, the virus would be alive

I am so so very opinionated about this bc I love microbiology tbh

I don't think we can classify viruses as living creatures. they're genetic material packed inside a protein capsule, maybe a phospholipidic one if they're lucky. they do nothing else. viruses require hijacking a host's (so, a cell) machinery for expressing its genes and creating the materials to reproduce.

this is NOT the same as a parasite like a tapeworm. they require a parasitic cycle to reproduce, but they're NOT hijacking the host's own metabolism to reproduce. these parasites are different than viruses, and while they're so adapted to parasitism they likely can't survive outside a host's body, they're still their own thing, with their own metabolism, merely feeding off its host.

viruses are just. not.

you can, however, classify them as biological entities just fine. but they're not living creatures

Okay, biologists of tumblr:

[marztheincredible]

Just watched the finale since I Finally had some free time!

Trying not to go absolutely crazy about just about everything haha!

Like how Belos becomes a cancerous creature that has to piggyback off of others to do damage and see his ideologies and genocide through. And becomes his most destructive once he takes over and hijacks something basically sacred, the Boiling Isles itself. And Luz, King, and Eda (Raine as well) had to literally tear him out of the heart of the isles. Removing Every Trace of Him. And how that could be a metaphor for such dangerous ideologies and how damaging and difficult it could be once they get into the Root of a Society and Government.

And of course about how Belos stans are fuming right now, that will never Not brighten my day haha

About The Titan. Like The Titan Titan. Oohhhohohoho The Titan! A gender fluid god! I loved his design! And also is no one else going to talk about the Hooty like creature coming out of his socket? Which immediately brought to my mind at least those parasites that attach themselves to the eyes of sharks? Is Hooty a type of parasite creature that used to feed off of titans? Maybe less of a parasite and more of a symbiotic relationship?

Or the fact that the glyphs were semi confirmed as a  Language. The Language of the Titans themselves. Does that mean that Runic is the Witch’s written language and Glyphs were the Titans or were both passed down? Ahh the questions, the QUESTIONS!!!

Also can we talk about how poignantly tragic the Titan’s true death was? How Belos managed to commit ONE last tragedy before his death? He annihilated the magic behind the Titan’s glyphs? I don’t think I can properly convene how cruel or or I don’t know Evil that is. He erased the meaning behind them. King, the Sole Remaining Titan, has to Recreate his own language.

I hate that man. Haha but I loved his death scene. I was kinda convinced that he wasn’t going to die, that he was basically going to be trapped in the in between place like The Titan. But OOOH BOY what we got instead was PERFECT haha!

Speaking of perfect, MARZ! MARZ MARZ MARZ! TITAN LUZ?! TITAN LUZ!!! AHHHH THAT ENTIRE SEQUENCE WAS AMAZING!

ALSO THE EPILOGUE!!! Ahhh I died seeing them all grow up and the rebuilding off the isles! All the little details in the backgrounds like the fact that people starting building all the arm and the palisman groves and the basilisks and Bump doing gardening and the detention track kids being teachers and the removal of the brands! And Boscha maybe being friends with the Hexsquad considering she was invited to Luz’s not quite a quinceanera but close enough and speaking of the Hexsquad, ALL THEIR OLDER DESIGNS!!! And EDA’S PIRATE HOOK HAND! ��also apparently Raine’s fox palisman is named Fiddlesticks? I think I saw that somewhere on Twitter but I still need to fact check that, ALSO THE QUINCEANERA! Also also I saw someone point out that Camilla had a combination of Raine’s and Eda’s ear rings and someone said that meant she was brought into Eda and Raine’s polycule which made me chuckle haha

*cough cough* anyway, fangirling over.

But Hoooooooo I am over the moon! OVER THE MOON! The finale was so good. There is probably more stuff to go over and believe me when I have time to relax (job hunting sucks I have no free time now a days) I will be BOMBARDING you with questions. But Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

YEAHHHHHH YOU SUMMED YOU MY SIMILAR FEELINGS PERFECTLY DUDE!!!!

[thera-daydreams]

ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴏʟᴅ ʟᴀᴅʏ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ

ᗢ jujutsu kaisen x scarletwitch!reader ᗢ

05. geto suguru

the traitor who calls people monkeys but later on gets his body hijacked by a literal mastermind creature

Chapter Index & Synopsis

warning: will contain spoilers from the jjk manga and the latest mcu shows (particularly wandavision and loki, as well as rumors from doctor strange in the multiverse of madness). once again, this will contain heavy spoilers—you have been warned. This chapter in particular is the most manga spoiler-filled, too. Beware when you scroll down! Thank heavens I drafted this sorta-complicated chapter during my summer break... 'cause now that school's back, the next chapters I haven't drafted yet will take a bit of time. Though this is Geto's chapter, he's kind of still in a haze when you met him, but there'll be more interactions in the upcoming chapters, don't worry, loves. Enjoy this much longer and slightly more complex chapter!

[EDIT] 6/17/2022, 8:03PM: Edited after the mess that happened in DSMOM2.

(word count: 5,843)

(previous chapter)

"What did you do?"

Your current housemate—a once infamous assassin—gave you a very suspicious look while you happily grinded the herbs for your marinated honey lemon chicken. Today deserved a delicious dinner meal and some fine, aged French wine!

You blinked, turning to Toji. "Hmm?"

"You've been in an awfully good mood since last night," he noted. "You've been singing to yourself, dancing while you took out the trash..." His eyes narrowed. "Something happened."

You shrugged, the lines on your face accentuated as you smiled knowingly, "Maybe. But that bastard deserved what was coming to him."

"... You confronted Sukuna, didn't you?"

You didn't respond, simply uncorking a bottle of wine and pouring him a full glass. "Cheers!"

"You know I don't drink wi—"

"Just take a seat, Toji."

Before he could finish his sentence, both of you were now in the dining room, sitting down. After he got over the mild whiplash from the unexpected teleportation (damn, you could do that, too?), he realized he was now holding a stein of ice cold beer in his right hand.

Toji frowned, "Y/N, I don't drink alco—"

Now he was holding a warm cup of jasmine tea instead of an alcoholic drink. On the other side of the table, you held a fancy glass of red wine, giving him an expectant look.

"Well?"

He took a cautious sip of the fragrant tea. Like all the desserts and meals and drinks you had in the shop, this was just as wonderful as any of them.

"It's good," he muttered. It wasn't his fault he was choosy! He'd given up alcohol years ago to avoid getting drunk and spending his money on it (but his logic was flawed since, well, he'd gamble it away, anyway). Seems like questioning how you defied the laws of physics was useless.

"So... magic?"

The smile you had on all day reappeared on your face, "Mmmhmm. Magic. Now stop talking about that damned Curse King."

He laughed. "Alright, alright. I'll stop. But any chance you could magic me some meat and offal?" he suggested with a mischievous look in his eye.

You rolled your eyes, "You're lucky I'm in a good mood today."

You pointed your finger on the table and poof! There was now an entire selection of your housemate's favorite food, as well as a Korean-style barbecue grill in the middle of the table.

"Holy shit, why haven't you done this before?" On Toji's face was an ear-splitting grin. At that moment, he looked like a child lost in a candy shop.

"I spoil you too much," you expressed. "So much for my honey lemon chicken. You're lucky I'm not taking this out of your paycheck."

He shrugged, not denying it, "I am lucky to have you as my boss."

You thought that nothing could ruin your smug mood for the entire month (unless Sukuna himself showed up on your front door, of course) but a few weeks later, you stood corrected.

God, you really shouldn't have jinxed it.

ᗢ▪︎ᗢ

This guy was something else. When he entered the shop, he was accompanied by two cursed spirits with a significantly high amount of cursed energy (one plant-based, one fire-based, how very Pokémon-y), as well as a ghost that looked like the man who you just served tea to. You briefly wondered why the ghost wasn't in his body.

Then it dawned unto you.

Was there... someone else inhabiting his body?

With a forced smile, you hid the fact that you could see the curses and the ghost (whom you doubted these curses could even see). You noticed that although the ghost and the strange man sitting beside the curses looked exactly alike, the man had a single horizontal stitch running across his forehead while the ghost did not.

Something was wrong here. Very wrong.

You didn't make it obvious, however, as you asked the man if he had any additional orders.

"The café special for today is the matcha cream puff!" you enthusiastically recommended, masking your apprehension. One of the spirits, Jogo—from what you read in all their thoughts—openly expressed his distaste for you, dissecting your short, elderly frame little by little. The other one, Hanami, was quieter.

"Tsk. This one won't be living too long," he snidely commented to the man, who only hummed in response. "Too bad."

In your mind, you imagined choking the arrogant volcano head. But you quickly calmed yourself down, focusing on the person with stitches on his forehead. Hitting lava guy can come later.

"Hmm... let me think..." the man with stitches said.

For this strange man, curses called him Geto, but in that man's mind, you could see something evil and old. As old as Sukuna, perhaps, and something about a Noritoshi Kamo.

Definitely not the student Noritoshi you knew in the Kyoto campus, but likely, related. An ancestor from the same clan, maybe. You've read something about him before in the tomes Tengen let you borrow.

You continued skimming his mind and ah, there it was, Kenjaku. This fake Geto's real identity was Kenjaku. That would mean that the ghost exhaustedly floating beside him was probably the real Geto.

Then, you saw it. All of it.

Just like what you saw in Ultron when he first tried creating a new body all those years ago.

Annihilation.

The Shibuya Plan.

Or, in this case, the Shibuya Incident. October 31st of 2018.

You saw it all. The killing of Mechamaru, the massacre of hundreds of innocents in the underground train station, the sealing of Gojo Satoru, the return of Okkotsu Yuta, the deaths of Nanami Kento, Masamichi Yaga, and countless more. You saw the rampage of Sukuna, the vengeance of Zenin Maki after Zenin Mai's death, the obliteration of the Zenin Clan, Choso and Yuki fighting, Nobara... Sukuna... Megumi... what had happened to them... and everything else. The casualties were immeasurable.

The saddest among them all for you? Yuuji's remorse.

You could see a reflection of yourself in his guilt. The complete destruction of Sokovia, the mess you made in Lagos, the Westview Anomaly, the Multiverse of Madness—until today, you were still emotionally repenting. Atoning for your sins.

That image of your son with a scar on his face was painstakingly engraved into your mind. The innocence was completely gone from his eyes. Partially, it disappeared already (judging from what you'd seen in his thoughts about the detention center and the recent Junpei Yoshino incident with Nanami and the curse with stitches). From what you were seeing now, the curse with stitches—Mahito—was an accomplice to this fake Geto, as well. He wasn't around as of the moment; you figured he was still recovering from whatever fight Nanami and Yuuji engaged him in.

You noted it. October 31, 2018. Just a few months from now.

2018.

Funny, wasn't it? In your universe, the year 2018 was the anniversary of Vision's first death, too. The Snap. The decimation of half the universe. Recalling that you had been the last one standing in-between the Mind Stone and the Mad Titan in the Battle of Wakanda made unwanted memories resurface.

Maybe if you were stronger, you could've saved everyone. But you couldn't. You were dusted in the Snap, too. When you came back, your best friend was gone. Natasha, one of your first friends in the Avengers and a sister-figure to you, had given up her life for that damn Soul Stone to revive you and all the others. When you came back, Vision was gone. His body was gone... and then you had to find his remains being disassembled like he was a mere piece of metal. A weapon. Not a person whom you loved and loved you back.

Blood boiled in your veins. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

After the Shibuya Plan would be what was called the Culling Game, wherein newly-made sorcerers would have to participate or die. A battle royale of survival. This impostor had a dangerous plan brewing. A plan that could threaten the safety of all of Japan, maybe even the globe.

You saw all of that havoc in just a moment. A split second. It had come and go as quickly as a single thought.

Back in the real world, you inhaled sharply at the spine-chilling premonition, startling your guests—the two curses, the human (?), and the soul. Thinking quickly, you disguised it by clutching your heart, pretending that you had a frail old woman's heart. Yet, after what you just saw—the unfortunate fates of your new, beloved allies—it wasn't all that hard to pretend your heart wasn't in pain. It was. And it reminded you of a pain you thought you'd left behind years ago.

Your head hurt, and you felt like puking your guts out.

"Agh... oh my," you exhaled shakily.

"Are you alright?" the pseudo-Geto asked with feigned concern. He even stood up, going to help you.

You shook your head, raising your palm to stop him, "Yes, yes. I'm fine. Just... a little... nauseous." You acted like you were steadying your breathing, then put up a weary smile for them. "I'm sorry. My heartburn has been acting up a lot lately. One of these days, it might turn out to be a heart attack!"

"Tsk. Serves you right, human. She doesn't even have any cursed energy. Weakling," Jogo muttered. Hanami was silent, only staring at you. You disregarded his comment, keeping your attention on Kenjaku.

This lunatic.

"Again, I'm sorry, dear," you told him with a slight bow, then returned to your original goal. "Oh! Did you want the matcha cream puffs?"

"I would like that very much, Ma'am," Kenjaku politely replied. It was so polite it was beginning to grind on your nerves. This man was nowhere near respectful. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, yes. I'll... I'll be okay." You waved him off, changing the topic. "How many do you want to order?"

"A dozen, please."

You were tempted to place poisoned herbs in their order, but refrained, instead plastering another fake happy smile on your face.

"Alrighty-then! Give me a few minutes to prepare the meal, alright? Would you like a fresh brew of our bestselling coffee, too?"

"Sure," he nodded. This Kenjaku and the curses watched as you went into the kitchen and closed the door.

Toji was there, giving you a stern look (probably because his senses were as sharp as ever). You made sure to enhance the spell in the kitchen so no one from outside could hear or see your conversation. Then, you leaned your back on the table, trying to process what you had just seen.

It was too much.

"There are cursed spirits outside," he told you with a frown. He noticed how unnerved you were. That was unusual. Normally, customers carrying cursed spirits wouldn't have bothered you. Yet, right now, it looked like you were sick. However, he did note the high levels of cursed energy outside, atypical of the usual cursed spirits that visited the shop. "Do you need me to take care of them?"

"... I'm... I'm trying to remember something. Wait. " Ignoring him, you went straight to the point and stared up at him, eyes desperate, "Do you know a guy named Kenjaku? An old client, maybe? Or a target from the past?"

You really did hope this Kenjaku wasn't the ancient one you'd read about very briefly in a scroll. He was only mentioned shortly.

Toji paused, then shook his head.

"How about a man named Geto? I saw it in his thoughts. Geto Suguru. The name rings a bell. From what I know, Geto Suguru is supposed to be dead from that incident last year..."

There was recognition in his eyes, "Huh. Yeah. I knew that kid. He was that Gojo's partner. The cursed spirit manipulator. We fought each other after I killed the Star Plasma Vessel... and before that boy with the Six Eyes managed to kill me." He muttered the last part.

This revelation greatly alarmed you. This Geto was probably that same Geto who used to be Gojo's best friend.

Used to be.

You'd caught Gojo thinking about him occasionally. It was one of those rare times he was quiet in your shop, but his thoughts were running rampant. The spirit outside could be the Geto Suguru who was known to be the worst of all curse users. The traitor who killed an entire village then died a few years ago at the hands of Satoru himself during the Goodwill Event.

You put the pieces of the puzzle together, making sense of the vision you saw.

Kenjaku was possessing Geto's dead body. That was his cursed technique. But Geto wasn't fully dead yet (or his soul hadn't moved on to the afterlife yet because of Kenjaku). It was why you could see his spirit, just like how you saw Toji's.

You then explained the entire situation to the Zenin clan deserter, summarizing to him the Shibuya Plan which was to take place soon. Heck, you even told him that he was supposedly going to be revived during the incident by one certain curse user and that the Zenin Clan was going to be massacred.

"This Kenjaku... I read it in his mind and his memories—"

"—You can read memories, too? Damn."

"Shut up and let me finish. This Kenjaku is as old as Sukuna himself, and I'm guessing that since you're from one of the Big Three Sorcerer Clans, you know about that villainous Noritoshi Kamo."

He blinked, "I've heard of him, yeah."

"Aside from those Death Paintings: Cursed Wombs he created in the last century, he's planning something else." Your face was steeled and serious, a contrast to how happy-go-lucky and laid-back you usually were. "Kenjaku... his cursed technique allows him to transplant his brain into different bodies to possess them and he's inhabited different people throughout the centuries, assuming different identities, experimenting on people and curses alike. He believes that the next stage of human evolution is not to remove, but to optimize cursed energy."

"... You got all that from reading his mind in one minute?"

"One split second, actually." You sighed tiredly, "It was horrible. Absolutely sick. And those stupid cursed spirits kept looking at me like I was dirt. Do you know how hard it is to pretend you don't hear them telling you to go die? I had to fake a heartburn when I accidentally reacted to their plan!"

That made the man chuckle, "What do you plan on doing, then?"

"I'll serve his matcha cream puffs and coffee. And hope they don't burn down the shop... not that they can, the runes will render them powerless within the shop—"

"Runes?"

You gave him a blank stare. "Those white symbols on the corner walls and the entrance doorframe aren't just for decoration, Toji."

An amused look appeared on his face, "... Every day you manage to surprise me, granny."

You rubbed your face, "I don't know if that was a compliment or not, but I'm planning to make the real Geto's soul stay here. I want to talk to him. Maybe do the same thing I did to you to him."

"You're giving him a mannequin body?"

"Yes."

"What if he decides to kill you?"

"Then I undo the spell."

"... Oh, so that's what will happen if I try to kill you."

You hit his arm playfully, "So disrespectful, Toji."

He rolled his eyes, but there was a smirk on his face. You prepared a plate of matcha cream puffs, a cup of steaming coffee, and then exited the kitchen.

Time to serve those little pieces of crap.

Toji shook his head, returning to molding the dough for a new batch of buttery garlic bread (you'd taught him well and thankfully, he no longer burned the kitchen down after weeks of intensive baking training).

Luckily for you, the curses didn't try anything inside the bakery. When they left, however, the ghost of Geto Suguru was strangely left behind. He couldn't get out of the exit and follow his physical body.

He cussed, "Shit, why can't I—"

"Don't try to struggle, sweetheart. It's futile," you called out from the cashier, counting some money. "That brain thing stole your body, didn't he?"

Geto stilled, realizing that you could hear and see him. A dead man. You also knew about his situation. He was confused.

"Yes, I can hear and see you, dear. So, you're the infamous Geto Suguru." Your head tilted at him curiously. "Tell me, do you want to have a living body again?"

"I—"

"That's a yes or no question."

"..."

"..."

"... Who are you?" he asked warily.

A sincere smile appeared on your face as you stepped away from the cashier, walking closer to him and extending a hand towards him, "My name is Y/N L/N."

He looked down at the hand, hesitant.

"I can help you be free, Geto-san. Only if you'll let me."

He cautiously lifted his hand from his side, his larger one encapsulating your smaller one. He was dead anyway, so what harm could it be?

Woooosh!

He didn't even get to process that you were able to touch him, too, when everything flashed red.

You did to him what you did to Toji.

Geto couldn't believe it. He was alive again (kind of)—through a former mannequin's body!

"In exchange for giving you a new body, you'll be helping around in the kitchen with dear Toji-kun. You two know each other already, so talk it over." You pulled him to where Sorcerer Killer was (and Geto visibly paled at the familiar face, even if it was years ago).

Suguru was stunned, "Isn't he the Sorcerer Ki—"

"Toji-kun! Do me a favor and explain to him everything he needs to know, will you?"

The ex-assassin scowled, but nodded. After hearing about the Shibuya Plan, he understood why you were doing this.

"Fine. Sit down, kid. I'll tell you about what just happened and who that lady there is."

Geto had absolutely no idea how to react to what was happening to him. Was he dreaming? Was he asleep? What?

You read his mind quickly, assuring him. "No, you're not dreaming, hun. Oh! Before I forget," you poked your head back into the kitchen doorway. "No fighting or else the runes won't let you move for an hour. And Geto-san, you'll be telling me all about that Kenjaku man and those cursed spirits he had with him. Plus that Shibuya Plan they have. Gosh, it's Sokovia all over again."

You mumbled that last part so quietly it was indecipherable even to Toji's ears.

Said curse user was speechless. He turned back to the Sorcerer Killer whom he'd fought many years ago, swallowing in unease. Didn't Gojo kill this guy already? Were you the one to bring him back from the afterlife, too? Who were you, exactly?

Many weeks later, he still wondered how a weird old lady managed to resurrect slash free him from Kenjaku, worm her way into his heart, and appoint him as the chef of her kitchen (Toji was assigned to be the baker; besides, Geto was better at cooking the meals than he was—those years of taking care of Mimiko and Nanako honed that certain talent of his).

What exactly was happening?

He had to be honest with himself, though, whatever was happening, he really did like this new life of his—something about your place, and about you, was really calming. Suguru could tell that Toji, who was a known murderer, loved what he was doing, as well.

The hefty allowances you gave both of them were a plus, too. Hell, you gave him his own room and bathroom in your household (Toji didn't seem surprised at all that you just magicked the space out of nowhere; he had probably grown used to it).

Your retirement in this universe wasn't going as well as you hoped it to be after recent events, but oh well. Now two of the most dangerous men in the jujutsu world worked under you and lived under the same roof as you did. Your adopted son was the vessel of a 1000-year-old curse and you also had another crazy 1000-year-old psychopath who wanted to create a real-life Hunger Games. Was this even a retirement, still?

One could just imagine what happened when you finally introduced your "new hires" to Nanami and Gojo... Megumi and Yuuji, too.

"Momma, why'd you call us here so late at night?" Yuuji asked, still in his sleepwear as he rubbed his eyes, leaning on an obviously-disturbed-from-sleep Megumi's shoulder.

At the moment, you didn't care that Sukuna would be hearing this conversation. He wasn't of priority right now.

"Is everything alright?" Kento asked, already concerned about your wellbeing (how sweet, this man). You had no idea if Nanami had been sleeping, but when you called asking him to come to the shop for an urgent matter, he came without hesitation. Unlike on most days wherein he would be wearing a suit, tonight he was only wearing his glasses and some cool-toned loungewear. Gojo, on the other hand, had the audacity to show up in bunny slippers and a fluffy grey bathrobe.

The white-haired man whined, "Nehhhhh, Y/N, since it's the middle of the night, you should give me something sweet to compensate!"

This was the moment of truth.

Ignoring Gojo's statement, you exhaled deeply, "Please don't freak out!"

The four males in front of you stared, confused. "What?"

You then dragged a scowling Toji and a sighing Geto out of your kitchen.

The silence that followed was so loud you could hear a pin drop.

Hell, even Sukuna popped out as a mouth on Yuuji's face, wanting to see what the fuss was about (he also wanted to see you and was soon disappointed to find you in your elderly form again).

"Kento, Satoru, Yuuji-kun, Megumi-kun," you began, trying not to focus on their astounded faces. "Meet my... uh, new hires. And housemates. They've been here with me for quite some time already, and I know you know who they are."

And for the first time since you met him, you heard a wide-eyed Nanami swear, "... Holy shit."

Megumi and Yuuji were clueless at first, though, having no idea who Toji and Geto were. But when they found out... well, needless to say, Gojo had a lot of history to catch up with his ex-best friend (still-best-friend-but-it's-complicated?) while Megumi had the chance to get to know his supposedly dead father even more.

Sukuna was even more interested to see Megumi's father himself, hailed to be a notorious (the notorious) Sorcerer Killer. He thought of how good Megumi already was with his potential, but what of the man who had zero cursed energy yet could destroy cursed beings and humans with little to no effort?

ᗢ▪︎ᗢ

"... So let me get this straight, this Shibuya Plan you're telling us is going to happen soon. I get sealed away, then Nanami, Yaga, and a whole bunch of people might get killed by those Special Grades we encountered recently. The higher-ups get their way, too, and the Zenin clan is destroyed by Maki-chan."

"Yes."

"And that Kenjaku guy who stole Suguru's body is out there planning the next Hunger Games, but no Jennifer Lawrence. Sorry, Yuuji-kun. And the entirety of Japan and probably the world is plunged into danger."

His summary was, in essence, accurate. Thus, you nodded. "... Uh, yes. You're correct."

"And though you don't have any cursed energy, you can use actual literal magic and can read thoughts anytime—"

"Only when I need to, Satoru. Or when the person is practically screaming in their heads. Which is what you're doing right now."

"And revive people—"

"—Create bodies for trapped or lost souls," you quickly corrected, shaking your head. "Necromancy has a high risk of instability so I like to avoid it, especially if the soul has already fully moved on to the afterlife. If I try to actually resurrect someone, I would need the original body, too, thus it's a limited option."

The men stared at you, not knowing what to say.

"Ooooooookay," Gojo mumbled, still glancing at Geto every once in a while. "And those symbols on the doorframe and on the corner of the walls, they're for protection?"

"Yes. The runes are a basic protection spell, and they've actually created a barrier around this building for safety. They deactivate anything dangerous. I've also made it magically undetectable, which might be unnecessary since I don't know if you guys can sense it or not. It's not made from cursed energy, after all."

"Huh. I actually don't detect it with my Six Eyes," Gojo wondered. "Makes sense. But I did always feel like the atmosphere would change whenever I went inside the shop."

"I thought it was just the theme and the décor," Nanami pondered, slowly processing what you were saying. "Is the calming aura literally an effect of the barrier?"

"Well, maybe both the café itself and the barrier," you chimed in. "I made it hospitable so that all customers and anyone in it would feel totally comfortable!"

"Much appreciated," Geto mumbled, now understanding why being in the shop and your home felt nice. Really nice. Nicer than anywhere he's been as someone alive. He wasn't complaining, whatever that barrier was or what was in it.

"What else can you do, Momma?" Yuuji inquired curiously, trying to ignore the strangely-jolly Sukuna mouth on his cheek.

"The brat's right," Sukuna hummed, speaking up for the first time. Everyone in the room paid attention to his overly-interested voice. "What else can you do, woman?"

Your eyes narrowed at him, still a tad cross with him from that incident. "Nothing that concerns you, Curse King."

"Hmph. We'll see."

You made up an excuse, "And besides, we'd be here all night if I said them all. A woman's gotta keep her some of her secrets! The only thing I'll tell you is that my magic allows me to do many things... aside from talking to different types of beings in the spiritual realm."

"... Why are doing this for us anyway, Y/N?" Gojo huffed, a little overwhelmed.

He and Nanami were still in disbelief at how Toji Zenin and Suguru Geto were "revived" by you and now you're telling them you read the mind of the evil mastermind who was currently residing in the real Geto's body. Heck, they only just found out about your... special powers that were apparently not jujutsu but magic.

It was a lot to take in.

Megumi sat quietly beside his father, not yet speaking a word since the revelation.

"Well..." You gazed at the wooden ceiling of your shop. "I'm a retired woman who just wants to live life in peace." Your nose scrunched up as you reflected on why you were actually doing this. "I may not look like it, but trust me when I say that I've had enough experience with individuals like Kenjaku. It's why I've decided to take matters like the Shibuya Plan into my own hands."

They merely stared at you, wondering what you were talking about.

You looked back down at your reflection in the dark cup of coffee you held, "I knew a man—well, he wasn't exactly a man, per say—who said he wanted to make a better world. Growing up in a warzone, you can't really blame me for siding with him."

Ultron.

They didn't know anything about your past, but now they did. A little bit. And the pieces of the puzzle were beginning to click together.

"When I was younger and didn't know any better, I sided with him for a time... until I looked in his head and saw annihilation. I found out that this better world he was talking about could only be accomplished when..." Your voice trailed off as you recalled that meteor crashing into the planet—the meteor that turned out to be your war-torn homeland.

You didn't realize you were lost in your thoughts, until Geto prodded. "When what?"

"When everyone is dead," you replied quietly. "To him, the world would only be better if there weren't humans in it. I could see his point, but that was pure extremism." You shook your head. "There's this other... madman I knew, too, who wanted to eliminate half the population to maintain balance so that finite resources wouldn't be used up."

Thanos.

You glanced at Geto, who was suddenly in a state of deep thought. You knew he was rethinking about his philosophy of killing all non-sorcerers.

"Where are these two guys?" Gojo inquired seriously. Everything you told him about what might happen in the future alarmed him. He had to rethink his emergency plans should he ever be incapacitated.

That Prison Realm was bad news.

You chuckled and brushed it aside, irises momentarily glowing a dim red they barely noticed. "Oh, please. Don't worry. First guy's heart was ripped out of his chest and second guy's nothing but a pile of ashes now. We just need to focus on Kenjaku now."

The four men—who'd stilled at your statement—could tell that you may have had something to do with it. Sukuna, on the other hand, was more intrigued.

The King of Curses was a hundred percent sure you did have something to do with those two men you spoke of. He didn't say anything, however. The way you smiled just now wasn't the sincere, happy one they were used to seeing, as well.

"Huh, I wonder why," Toji remarked, the only one aside from Sukuna who was able to glimpse your combat abilities.

"The kids..." you began reluctantly, referring to the students of Tokyo and Kyoto Jujutsu High. "Jujutsu sorcerer or not, I don't want to give them a future that's all war and misery."

"That, I agree with fully," Gojo said, crossing his arms.

"Besides, this is my home now," you grinned. This time, your smile was true and reached your eyes. "And this time, I'm going to make things right. I'm going to help fight for it. For you, guys. You're all my precious people. Either way, it's the only way I can finally actually enjoy my retirement." Their hearts warmed at your statement. Precious people, huh?

You may not have been able to do something when Geto himself unleashed the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons in Shinjuku and Tokyo last year (you had been away, visiting your home universe for Christmas with Loki and Strange; what bad timing), but this Shibuya Plan wasn't something you'd leave unattended. It would affect the entirety of Japan and possibly, this whole world. At heart, you were still an Avenger; you'd do what you could to prevent destruction.

You prayed that you were actually going to make things right and not mess up (again). If you were wrong about interfering with these events... well, shit. Still, you knew you weren't going to regret doing this.

The entire café was silent, before you remembered something important.

"Satoru!" you suddenly spoke, a light bulb on your head. "Before I forget..."

"Yeah?"

"... Any chance you can make Yuuta-kun return from overseas?"

He slouched, huffing, "Well, it'll take some convincing of the damned elders—"

"Can you do it?" you asked, more insistent this time.

The white-haired man paused, then smirked cockily, "Do you doubt me that much, Y/N? Of course I can! It's just going to be a pain dealing with those old geezers."

"Good. Because we need all the help we can get against Kenjaku and all the demons you used to store, Suguru-kun. Plus those stupid Special Grades that kept giving me the evil eye. I swear I'll especially strangle that mouthy volcano head myself..."

Now that the mood wasn't as heavy, the men sweat-dropped.

"I'm going to have to make some visits, too," you told them. "First, with Tsumiki-san."

Megumi perked up, hearing his sister's name, "What?"

"I may be able to undo the curse with a spell," you shared to the younger Fushiguro. Beside him, Toji watched his son's reactions carefully. "Just give me a bit of time, okay? I'll remove whatever is on her with my magic so that she doesn't get involved in any of Kenjaku's plans."

Megumi was frozen in shock—so many things happened to him this year and this might be the best amongst all of them.

"I—I," the shikigami user stammered, bowing his head gratefully. "Thank you! Thank you so much, Y/N-san! I'll... I'll be forever in your debt!"

"Don't worry about it, Megumi-kun." You patted his head. All of a sudden, Megumi and Yuuji were gone from the shop.

"What the f—" Gojo sputtered. "Where are my students?"

"Back in their dorms, don't worry. I just needed them out for this specific part of the conversation," you reassured the sensei.

Satoru, Kento, Suguru, and Toji blinked owlishly at you.

You continued, "Second, I need to talk with a certain Mechamaru who's being a double agent. Third, I have to convince Yuuji-kun's brother to join our side!"

"Brother?" Gojo asked, interested and in awe.

"Isn't he an only child?" Nanami muttered to himself.

"A guy named Choso is his half-brother, and so were those two Cursed Womb: Death Paintings he and Nobara-chan killed last week." You shuddered at the memory you'd seen before. "Kenjaku's an utter psychopath. That poor woman Noritoshi Kamo tortured... good God, nine pregnancies and nine abortions for experimentation. That experimentation probably led to Mr. Brain implanting himself into a female body to try it the other way around. Apparently, that's how Yuuji was made!"

Everyone, except Geto who already kind of knew the information from sharing a body with the Brain, looked extremely disturbed.

"You don't look... too surprised with the circumstances, Y/N," Toji commented.

Of course you weren't! You yourself married an android synthezoid and conceived twins immaculately after wishing them into existence in your dream sitcom reality.

You weren't fazed, of course.

"Can't say much about that when my own pregnancy was bizarre as it was," you snorted, entering the kitchen. "Mine practically happened overnight!"

They had no idea you weren't overexaggerating.

"Y/N has kids?" Gojo whispered to Nanami.

"Yeah. Sons, she mentioned to me before. Once," the blonde ex-salaryman replied, frowning. "But when I talked to her about it, she said she didn't have a family anymore."

"Does that mean dead or just out of town...?" Geto inquired.

"She doesn't have any pictures in the house," Toji said. "Not a single one. Even in her room." The other men gave him a suspicious look. The ex-assassin scowled at them. "Hey! I know because she's asked me to clean out the boxes on top of her closet, you bastards."

"Whatever happened, she's been alone for a long time before you two came along," Nanami said, addressing the two men who lived in your home now. "As much as I hate to say it since you two are former jujutsu criminals, I'm glad that she's got someone to look out for her. In case something bad happens to her, curse-related or not."

The Six Eyes-user mentally agreed despite what had happened between him, Suguru, and Toji. He first glanced at his ex-best friend, then at the man who almost killed him in his youth.

The universe really did have a weird way of making things work.

(next chapter.)

Author's Note: Oof. The plot thickens, and the boys now know your magicky-magicness! Sukuna's still the only one who knows about your disguise, though. What happens next? That's a secret for now. 😘

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