#gone forever enmity

[fanfictionroxs]

The way Lan Sizhui gives off vibes of that kid who will burn out by 25. The return of Wei Wuxian and a-yuan's memories of the Wen remnants are practically confirmation of his brewing inner turmoil, the beginning of the emotional exhaustion that's going to fuck up his mind as he keeps returning to memories of his grandma & those bodies in the blood pool.. and the destruction of 'Lan Sizhui'. Maybe he'll revert to being Wen Yuan or perhaps forge his new identity as Wen Sizhui. After all, 'Sizhui' is the gift he cherishes by his rich-gege, but his enmity lies with the Lans, the Jiangs, the Jins and other cultivation sects who wrongfully murdered his family. Most of the main perpetrators are gone, fate already having avenged the Wen remnants by disposing off Nie Mingjue, Jin Guangshan, Jin Gunagyao, but many still remain. Jiang Cheng and the people who raised Sizhui.. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren. The fact that Sizhui will have to deal with the mental burden of the realisation that he was raised by his would be killers.. who did kill his loved ones, the fact that he will have to battle with the rising conflict in his mind of being filial, but to whom? His grandma who carried him on her weak back and ensured his survival through the worst of the camps which killed his uncle Wen Ning himself? His aunt Wen Qing without whom not even his Xian-gege would have come to help them? His original sect whose leader didn't give a shit about poor farmers like a-yuan's family or his current sect who killed those poor farmers? His fathers who saved him time and again or his birth mother and father whose memories were forever lost to him? Who should he be filial to, whose injustice should he start with? So much veangeace to take, but only one Wen left to fight because Sizhui knows that Wen Ning has fought for a lifetime. It's all down to him.. It's all down to The Last Wen.

Oh how ever will you survive a-yuan?

[kemeticdevotee]

An Ancient Egyptian sunrise hymn

"The harpoon is deep in Apophis, the evil,

He falls by the sword;

And those who chose war are huddled for slaughter.

Death cuts the hearts of God’s demon enemies,

Who groan as outlaws, 

Apostate forever. 

He has ordered the remnant sacrificed,

To cripple the power of the dark adversary, 

That God’s own self be secure. 

Unharmed is He in his midship chapel!

The Holy Light shines still!

He has ridden the waves unscathed, 

And rebels are no more!

The Sun Ship of infinite journeys,

Still sails on course through the sky, 

Her Godly crew cheering,

Their hearts sweet with victory. 

Down is the great Antagonist!

Bane of the Lord of Creation!

No partisan of his is found, 

Either in heaven or Earth!

Sky, Thebes, Heliopolis, Underworld– 

Their peoples are proud of their conquering God,

For they see him strong in his sunrise epiphany,

Robed in beauty and power and victory, 

It is Day!

You have won, Amun-Ra!

Gone the dark children of Enmity, 

Dead by the sword."

-Leiden Hymn XXX, translated by John L. Foster (whose translations absolutely stun me with their mixture of accuracy and beauty.)

[bibleversegarden]

Jesus Christ, Our Great High Priest, Redeemer, Savior and Lord

Jesus Christ, our Great High Priest, has atoned for our sins, once for all, and has reconciled us to God our Maker. 

God's perfect sacrificial Lamb without blemish, offered Himself for our redemption, and is the only Mediator between God and men.

John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Ephesians 1:7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Hebrews 10:1-7 For the law, having a shadow of the good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with these same sacrifices, which they offer continually year by year, make those who approach perfect.

For then would they not have ceased to be offered? For the worshipers, once purified, would have had no more consciousness of sins. But in those sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. For it is not possible that the blood of bulls and goats could take away sins.

Therefore, when He came into the world, He said: "Sacrifice and offering You did not desire, but a body You have prepared for Me. In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin You had no pleasure. Then I said, 'Behold, I have come—In the volume of the book it is written of Me—To do Your will, O God.' "

Isaiah 53:4-6 Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. Hebrews 10:14 For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified. Hebrews 10:19-23 Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. (See also Hebrews Chapters 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 in its entirety.)

Matthew 27:50-53 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split, and the graves were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; and coming out of the graves after His resurrection, they went into the holy city and appeared to many. Ephesians 2:13-18 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity. And He came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near. For through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father.

(See Ephesians Chapter 2 in its entirety.) The good news of God's salvation is to be proclaimed in all the earth. Whosoever will may come, both Jew and Gentile; receive God's pardon and walk in newness of life. - A Walk In The Garden Devotions

[undyingembers]

1, 7, and 26 for Tatjana!

1. What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Before Bhaal finally claimed her, Tatjana belonged to an order of paladins of Chauntea. Before that, Tatjana had a lovely childhood in a peaceful village with loving adoptive parents and many friends. Sure, strange things sometimes happened around her. One of her friends turned up dead, and she had a disturbing tendency to torture insects or want to see the insides of animals, but nothing outrageous. No one knows what happened. Suddenly, Tatjana found herself surrounded by the corpses of her parents and fellow villagers with no memory of what happened. She ran and cried until an order of paladins found her. They took in the poor girl and searched for whatever monster did this to her village, finding no leads.

Since then, she has dedicated her life to Chauntea, vowing to use her immense strength to help the innocent. It couldn't last. Tatjana started having nightmares, urges that she was too ashamed to voice to her fellow paladins. Even if she did speak up about her worries, she was either assured that there was nothing to worry about or told to reaffirm her oaths to Chauntea. Unfortunately, the Urge claimed her, and she slaughtered her whole order. She had no choice but to be reclaimed by her father.

It seems that, despite everything, Chauntea did not forget about her. After the memory loss, the goddess found an opportunity to give her champion another chance. She reminded Tatjana of her old oaths and re-offered the blessings once more, letting her try once more to defeat these horrible urges once and for all.

7. Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options?

Already answered!

26. How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal?

First and foremost, Bhaal is a vile and evil god and a sworn enemy to Chauntea. That alone earned him Tatjana's enmity. That he is her father only redoubles Tatjana's resolve to fix the harm he has done to the world.

When Tatjana was full-on Dark Urge, she hated her father. She hated the vile monster she became. She only finally joined him out of despair, when she realized that there was nothing she could do about the horrible Urges except to give into the monster. Tatjana hated Bhaal and hated herself more with every death, every bloody revelry, every atrocity. She wanted him gone, torn from the world forever, along with that useless goddess Chauntea, who stood by and did nothing to stop her. She knew. She knew the full ramifications of the plan. She couldn't believe that Bhaal was stupid enough not to see the true end of her magnificent design.

Part of the healing after Tatjana received Chauntea's blessing again was putting some distance between herself and the personal hatred she felt towards Bhaal and simply seeing him the way any paladin of justice would see him: a great evil to be defeated and vanquished, no more and no less.

[liushen-stan]

Misunderstandings

A Liushen fanfic

Summary: Liu Qingge was a loyal man. Shen Qingqiu had lost his loyalty when he'd tried to murder him, but after getting to know the Shen Qingqiu post qi-deviation, Liu Qingge began to doubt his many assumptions about the man were true.

And so, he begins to investigate.

Chapter 1: Murder Attempt

Liu Qingge has been described as many things. Strong, prideful, bad with words, hard working...

If one asked, Liu Qingge would say that, after his strength, his loyalty is his biggest trait.

And he would be right, because Liu Qingge's loyalty is the category of myths. One one gains it, he would have his sword and strength at their side forever, no matter how the man personally thinks of you.

It was true, once, for Shen Qingqiu. Liu Qingge despised his fellow disciple, but they were martial siblings, belonged to the same sect. Liu Qingge would never hesitate to fight for anyone in his sect, even Shen Qingqiu.

Until the man tried to kill him in the most cowardly way possible.

Liu Qingge's loyalty is strong. But so is his enmity. That act made Shen Qingqiu lose the former, and gain the latter. So when rumors began to spread about the despicable disciple turned peak lord, Liu Qingge did nothing. He even spread a few of his own, believing nothing but the worst of someone who would betray a fellow martial sibling.

And its not like Qingqiu was a helpless victim. Oh no, the man gave as good as he got, and so the enmity between the Bai Zhan and Qing Jing peak lords became something widely known.

Something nothing and no one could change.

Only, that was wrong.

Shen Qingqiu had a qi deviation and, suddenly, Liu Qingge's hated enemy seemed to disappear, only to be replaced with a pale imitation. This Shen Qingqiu still acted cold and aloof, but the bite and venom in most of his actions and words had disappeared. This Shen Qingqiu smiled more, laughed more, expressed himself more.

This Shen Qingqiu saved his life.

Liu Qingge couldn't understand. A qi deviation shouldn't change a person so fundamentally. But after this Shen Qingqiu passed every test the other peak lords did with flying colors, tests against demonic possesion or magic influence, there seemed to be no other explanation.

Shen Qingqiu had lost part of his memories.

Whatever in his past that made the man so spiteful was gone, and so this man... this man was the real Shen Qingqiu. And the more Liu Qingge got to know him, the more disconnection he found between the Shen Qingqiu he'd known and this one.

Liu Qingge was loyal. He was also a man able to admit his mistakes and seek to right them. It had never felt right to him to be so spiteful to his shixion, but a traitor deserved nothing less in his books. Still, something seemed to be wrong, and so Liu Qingge began to investiagte the rumors that surrounded the man. Just in case, he told himself. He'd never bothered to see if they were right, after all, so maybe...

He would just have to see.

He started with the one that, for him, was the most urgent: the murder attempt. It was the one that broke his trust, the one that started everything. And luckily, the was another witness there.

"Oh, Liu-shidi! How can I help-"

"Did Shen Qingqiu try to kill me?"

Shan Qinghua startled.

"Wha-"

"That mission, when we were disciples. Did Shen Qingqiu attempt to stab me while my back was turned?"

"Ah..." Shan Qinghua's eyes lightneed with understanding before the man took a nervous step back. "I don't think Shen-shixion wpukd like me to-"

"Tell me," Liu Qingge demanded in a forceful tone. "I need to know."

Shan Qinghua's eyes widened at the desperation in his tone.

"Wha- why are you asking this now?"

'After all these years?' Was the unspoken addition.

"Shen Qingqiu... the actual Shen Qingqiu would never do that," Liu Qingge said, helplessly and frustrated beyond reason. "He wouldn't... I need to know. Tell me."

He beares with Shang Qinghua's stare as patiently as he could until the other peak lord sighed.

"Okay, okay, I..." He fell briefly silent. "There’s no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt. You remember the ghosts you were fighting?" Liu Qingge nodded, his heart starting to pick up speed as he intuitively knew what Shang Qinghua was going to say just from those words. "Well, one of them was going to attack you while you were distracted by another. Shen-shixion attacked it before it could do anything, but when you turned around the ghost was already gone."

It wasn't cold in An Ding, but Liu Qingge felt he was in the middle of a snowstorm. Everything seemed distant, even his own voice when a weak 'I see' escaped his lips.

He didn't know how he managed to get to his own peak, but given the state on his body he suspected he ran. That made sense, physical activity was one of the few things that managed to calm him down... though this time, he would need more. Way more.

'A misunderstanding. It was a misunderstanding.' Those thoughts looped in his head as he stood up in his home, staring blankly at a wall.

Why did Shen Qingqiu never say anything? Why did he never defended himself?

'Why should he defend himself from a martial sibling?' A small voice in his mind asked. 'Why should he, when they should have his back?'

Had Liu Qingge really believed his fellow peak lord tried to kill him without trying to think up an explanation? To look further and question why? Was he really that ready to believe the worst of someone just because he didn't like him?

He never thought he could be like that. Wasn't his loyalty one of the things he was proud of about himself?

Where was his loyalty in this situation?

Liu Qingge agonized about this for a few minutes before his usual pragmatism managed to free him.

'This is in the past. I will carry the guilt, but now it's time to make amends.'

He had been wrong. And not only him, the other peak lords believed the worst about Shen Qingqiu, too. That had to change.

What better amends could be than to disprove the rumors he himself helped create? And if this also helped quiet the silent voice that doubted every rumor about the man was false, well... Liu Qingge would carry that, too.

His second objective: the brothel.

[miyamorana]

Miya's 2023 Fanfic Recs Part 4

Here are all the cool, complete fics I’ve read this year. Separated into 5 posts because there’s nearly a hundred of them.

PART 4: VIDEO GAMES, MOVIES AND BOOKS (16)

Back to the Future (3)

Baldur's Gate 3 (1)

D&D: Honor Among Thieves (1)

Dragon Age (6)

Harry Potter (2)

Percy Jackson & Related Fandoms (3)

Part 1: Boku no Hero Academia (33) Part 2: Other Anime and Cartoons (20) Part 3: Television (16) Part 5: Crossovers (11)

Fandom: Back to the Future Title: Muscle Memory Authors: irisbleufic, leaper182 Pairing: Emmett “Doc” Brown/Marty McFly Rating: Explicit Word Count: 62,600 Summary: “Then why were we kissing, Doc?” Marty demanded. “I think I’d remember kissing you before actually kissing you!”

Fandom: Back to the Future Title: it is the dawn; time has shifted Author: Edgebug Pairing: Emmett “Doc” Brown/Marty McFly Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 16,184 Summary: The flux capacitor shakes, screams, explodes. Marty and Doc deal with the aftermath.

Fandom: Back to the Future Title: A Matter of Time Author: breakaway71 Pairing: Emmett “Doc” Brown/Marty McFly Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 14,096 Summary: Marty is going to save Doc’s life, and if Doc won’t let him do it the easy way, if he’s so determined to stick to his damn principles and never read Marty’s note, well then, Marty’s going to do it the only other way he has left.

One day at a time.

-

(or: Marty returns to 1985 only to find that his best friend is gone and everyone in his family are strangers to him. Obviously, the only thing left for him to do is fix the time machine and go back to 1955. Easier said than done, of course.)

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3 Title: Devil’s Tongue Author: ushauz Pairing: Astarion/Wyll Rating: Mature Word Count: 6,554 Summary: Actor Feat: Your Charisma increases by 1, to a maximum of 20. Your Proficiency Bonus is also doubled for Deception and Performance checks.

A devil’s magic, as it turns out, involves a lot of lying to make it work. Wyll works overtime to perfect it.

Fandom: D&D: Honor Among Thieves Title: vicious mockery Author: andthentheybow Pairing: Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar, Simon Aumar/Doric Rating: Mature Word Count: 4195 Summary: “He doesn’t use magic,” Doric says, jutting her chin toward Edgin. Holga makes a noise that might be described as a grunt. Simon nods and takes another bite of stew. “Is it another tragic backstory thing?“

Simon looks like he’s about to speak through a mouthful of stew, then thinks better of it and swallows first. “Don’t ask me.” Doric gives him a look and turns to Holga.

“I don’t know,” Holga says. “Probably.”

Five times Edgin actually uses magic, and one time he doesn’t.

Fandom: Dragon Age (Dragon Age II) Title: Paper and Cotton Author: calligraphypenn Pairing: Anders/Fenris Rating: Teen Word Count: 14,835 Summary: Over the centuries, there developed in the Circle of Magi a tradition of showing affection, regard and intent through the giving of small, practical trinkets. It became a way to dodge any suspicion from the Circle authorities–who could object to the gift of some paper, or a single coin? In which Fenris is a practical elf, and accidentally tells Anders through tokens that he likes him VERY MUCH. But (at first) Fenris has no idea, and Anders is daily more baffled and suspicious. As seen on Tumblr, and now with lovely art by AO3 user Prudabaga.

Fandom: Dragon Age (Dragon Age II) Title: Chances Are Author: calligraphypenn Pairing: Anders/Fenris Rating: Teen Word Count: 9,065 Summary: Anders knows what it’s like, being hunted. When Fenris isolates himself in his mansion and keeps his health issues to himself, Anders puts aside their enmity to help him. As seen on Tumblr.

Fandom: Dragon Age (Dragon Age II, Dragon Age Origins: Awakening) Title: All of Me Author: Nikki66 Pairing: Anders/Fenris Rating: Explicit Word Count: 135,099 Summary: When Fenris learns he possesses magic, his life is forever changed. His friends support him, but can he cope with becoming his own greatest enemy? Salvation is just a mage away.

Fandom: Dragon Age (Dragon Agee II, Dragon Age: Inquisition) Title: Overthinking It Author: Starla-Nell (Princess_Nell) Pairing: Fenris/Dorian Pavus Rating: Explicit Word Count: 25,513 Summary: Fenris joins the Inquisition and meets Dorian. Somehow, they don’t kill each other. Wait, they’re friends? Wait they -? Oh. Oh, my.

Fandom: Dragon Age (Dragon Age II, Dragon Age Origins, Dragon Age Origins: Awakening) Title: Paths Cross  Author: Starla-Nell (Princess_Nell)  Pairing: Alistair/Bethany Hawke Rating: Teen Word Count: 4,149 Summary: Written for the Prompt: Alistair/Bethany Would love fics about these two adorable people crossing paths! AUs welcome, fluff and sweetness strongly preferred. No non-con, please.

Fandom: Dragon Age (Dragon Age: Inquisition) Title: A Herald Named Desire Author: ushauz Pairing: Male Adaar/Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus Rating: Unrated Word Count: 360,894 Series: Part 1 of Tales of Desire (Words: 396,552 - Works: 3) Summary: In which ‘Adaar’ is totally not a desire demon from the Fade, because Haven is a camp filled with Templars. Also morals and mortals are both confusing, and he would really just like to go home now please.

Fandom: Harry Potter Title: Left of the Line  Author: JoWithTheFlow Pairing: None Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 18,646 Summary: It started, as many things did, with Cedric. They had been stronger when they worked together, a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor, embodying the best traits of their house each and using them to fight and win against the spider in the maze. It had been the seed of an idea that bloomed in Harry’s fifth year—the Houses were stronger together. To survive, he needed not just bravery, but hard work, wisdom, and resourcefulness too.

It wasn’t just about him, either. They all needed each other. 

Fandom: Harry Potter Title: Forever, preferably Author: JoWithTheFlow Pairing: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 67,690 Summary: There was another student here.

Tom recognized him vaguely—while transfer students were not necessarily uncommon due to the war, they were rare enough to at least make an impression. This particular transfer student was in his year, sorted into Ravenclaw after an impressively long hat stall. He looked like he might be descended from the Potter line, but he did not share the surname so his lineage was of no particular interest to Tom. Nothing about him was of particular interest to Tom, in fact, and yet here he stood, holding the book that Tom had come here to find.

It would be a good time to turn away. The Restricted Section was restricted for a reason—only books documenting extremely dangerous or extremely advanced magic were stored here.

Tom’s feet, however, suddenly felt as if they were made of lead. It wasn’t magic keeping him tied down, but something far more mysterious like curiosity or even fate. In any case, the delay was all it took for the Ravenclaw to lift his chin and meet Tom’s eyes.

This Ravenclaw, Tom realized, had eyes as blindingly green as the Killing Curse.

Fandom: Percy Jackson & Related Fandoms Title: Be Sure to Tip Your Waiter (For He’s On His Last Dime) Author: inkncoffee Pairing: None Rating: Teen Word Count: 4,515 Series: Part 1 of Three and a Half Stars (Words: 10,085 - Works: 2) Summary: Being a demigod doesn’t pay too well (or, you know, at all) so Percy gets a job at a local restaurant. When girls ask him to switch tables with them to escape getting hit on by creepy guys, he always agrees. He’s in for a bit of a surprise one night when he recognizes one of the creepy guys.

Fandom: Percy Jackson Title: Spare the Rod Author: GwendolynStacy Pairing: None Rating: Teen Word Count: 11,980 Summary: After the war against Kronos, Nico is cursed with obedience by Demeter. Unable to leave the camp or tell anybody about his dilemma, Nico’s only hope is for somebody to figure out what has happened. Too bad nobody at camp knows him well enough to tell that something’s wrong.

Fandom: Percy Jackson & Related Fandoms Title: if you need, come build your home in me Author: yrbeecharmer Pairing: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 326,495 Series: Part 1 of so collect your scars and wear them well (Words: 344,991 - Works: 4) Summary: Even though the world keeps falling down around him, Will Solace can’t seem to help but keep growing up.

(A series rewrite starting with the events of Titan’s Curse)

[mejomonster]

IM SCREAMING

Luo wenzhou truly loves him more than anyone is meant to. The way he just DOES THIS. Makes light of a crime confession, that's going to ruin their lives, put fei du on the side of his enemies he's meant to take down, and Luo Wenzhou? Like always? In the end, picks fei du. Even if it's the irrational decision. His heart is truly bottomless for fei du. He makes a joke of it like fei du is just an ordinary person not confessing grave sins, and then still Wants Him.

Fei Du do you realize you're given a miracle in human form? This is SO MUCH:

“There’s a very good explanation.” Fei Du, staring into his eyes, asked, “Do you want to hear it?”

Luo Wenzhou paused, then expressionlessly said, “Not really.”

But Fei Du seemed not to have heard. He kept talking. “Someone’s been pushing these cases in front of your eyes, leading you to investigate them, so that those people would be panicked and nearly reveal themselves over and over, forcing them to break off a body part each time, throwing out their ‘backers’ with immediate motives as shields. The number of backers can’t be that high, because there aren’t so many true psychopaths, and those with the financial resources to support them are as rare as unicorn horns and phoenix feathers. When those people had cut themselves down to a pitiful bare stalk out of self-preservation, they’d have to find another investor, for example…”

Luo Wenzhou coldly said, “Fei Du, shut up.”

“For example, me.” Fei Du turned a deaf ear on him. “For example, Fei Chengyu’s heir—me. I fit all the criteria. I should have been one of them before. It was only sheer chance, the fact that Fei Chengyu broke it off with them, that meant I didn’t receive that ‘sword.’ I thought of killing Fei Chengyu over and over. I definitely wouldn’t care about any ‘enmity for the killing of your father.’ And I succeeded in working my way into the City Bureau, using my position to investigate the truth about the old Picture Album Project, deceiving…”

Luo Wenzhou hit the table, but he couldn’t interrupt Fei Du’s speech.

“In fact, they’ve already made veiled attempts to contact me. I’ve ignored them because I didn’t want to seem to know too much of the inside story, but if Wei Zhanhong gets in trouble this time, too, then they’ll likely be under attack from all quarters, urgently needing new funds. They’ll have to kneel and beg me for alms. I’ll have a chance to snap their wings, turn the parasitic beast into my personal watchdog. That’s what Fei Chengyu wanted to do but couldn’t accomplish…”

This time Luo Wenzhou was thoroughly frightened. He immediately stood up. “They’ve contacted you? When did this happen? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Fei Du’s level brows rose gently. “…maybe I wasn’t ready to give myself up yet?”

“Bull…” The curse came to Luo Wenzhou’s lips, and he forced it back. He lowered his head and looked at Fei Du, leaning against the table, and suddenly realized that if today’s “unexpected incident” hadn’t occurred, Fei Du may have concealed this forever. If those people had come to see him, he would have gone along with it, gone into the abyss without help or connections.

Fei Du pretended to be an idle son of the wealthy, pretended to lead a life of luxury and dissipation, pretended to have a powerful desire for control. He’d sniped at the Zhou Clan first thing after Zhou Junmao’s death, heartlessly wallowing in the feast of money—he also wore a “beast in human clothing” disguise. The beast in human clothing naturally had to be a gentleman, had to be urbane, had to be extremely patient, elegant and graceful. He’d made himself seem callous and powerful, up to anything.

But in the end, a beast in human clothing was only a beast. However much skill there was, it was still only on the surface. Any sudden change would require deliberation. Which beast would be as unassailable as he was, able to carry the human disguise to the point of keeping company with the babbling village woman Wang Xiujuan and the ignorant little girl Chechen?

Luo Wenzhou remembered the night of Zhou Junmao’s car crash. He thought that rather than making enormous profits short selling Zhou Clan stock, Fei Du in fact would have liked to go home and sleep.

He was clearly a person who could be perfectly satisfied with a bowl of lean pork congee and a plate of salted vegetables on a winter’s night. Give him a cup of coffee and some trivial documents to arrange, and he could tranquilly while away a whole day in the corner of the office—where was his desire to go into the abyss and contend with fierce beasts for power and money?

Luo Wenzhou had suddenly turned silent; faint unease instantly rose in Fei Du’s heart.

“Because this crowd exists, all these years, you’ve felt that you couldn’t escape Fei Chengyu, right?” Luo Wenzhou spoke very calmly. “So you’d rather throw yourself in, become one of them, control them, tear them up by the roots.—If you failed, you might die without an intact corpse like Zheng Kaifeng. If you succeeded, it wasn’t as though you were a planted agent. When the time came, you would go to prison along with them. Have you thought about that?”

Fei Du forced a smile. “I…”

“You aren’t stupid, of course you’ve thought it through clearly,” Luo Wenzhou said. “But whether you died or spent the rest of your life in prison, you thought that would be pretty good, right? At least you’d be free, unencumbered. There’d be nothing to worry about.”

Because if you couldn’t be free, it was better to die.

Luo Wenzhou propped his hand on the edge of the table behind him. “Why are you willing to reveal everything to me now, letting your plans fall through on the verge of success? Is your conscience pricking you?”

Fei Du involuntarily backed up.

“Bah, you don’t have any such thing as a conscience,” Luo Wenzhou said. “You looked at me and thought, ‘Fuck, such a handsome man is confessing his love to me, crying and wailing about wanting to be with me, what am I doing still thinking of dying or going to prison?’ Besides, you have to get a regulation haircut if you go to prison, do you know—”

Fei Du was speechless.

“Since you were even willing to lay out your evil heart and rotten lungs for me, it means you were asking me to pull you out. I pulled, and you dodged and struggled again.” Luo Wenzhou hit Fei Du’s forehead with his palm. “What’s your problem? Are you testing my strength?”

Fei Du seemed like Luo Yiguo leaping onto the dining table and being knocked off with a chopstick; somewhat dazed, he let Luo Wenzhou smack him.

“You always used to make me mad. Whenever I was in a bad mood then, you were always the person I imagined—imagined taking a burlap sack and taking you to a little alley for a beating. But there was a time later when the whole crowd of us went to play around at Tao Ran’s house and accidentally knocked a crack in a brick in the wall. Tao Ran was renting, and the landlord was a problem. If he saw it, he’d definitely make a fuss. Only Tao Ran didn’t say anything at the time, and we didn’t take notice, not expecting that you, a half-grown child, would run around the building materials markets, find a brick that was exactly the same, get a set of tools from who knows where, and spend half a day taking out the old brick and swapping in the new one. I went to have a look afterwards, and the job was pretty well done. I thought then that while you perennially needed a spanking, you could also sometimes be pretty lovable, and if you ever went wrong, it really would be regrettable.”

Luo Wenzhou’s voice was getting quieter and quieter. In the end it was almost a whisper. “So I was always very severe towards you. There was no one else I got so exasperated being around… But that day at the City Bureau, you’d obviously come with that crowd of drinking buddies to make trouble, but in the end you stayed to accompany He Zhongyi’s mother. And I suddenly thought that, actually, even if I wasn’t minding you, wasn’t criticizing you every day, you still wouldn’t go wrong. I never thought that if I gave our interactions a drop of color, you’d run away and set up a dying vat with it, start pestering me all day with no thought for the consequences. Never mind fooling me into giving you my body, you even dared to fool me into giving you my feelings.

“You asshole.” Luo Wenzhou repeatedly jabbed Fei Du’s chest with one finger. “You actually do care for me, you didn’t have any other ideas before, and now you want to stay with me. Do you dare to admit it?”

Fei Du froze under his attentive gaze for three seconds. Then he snatched his jabbing paw and instantly pressed Luo Wenzhou against the little dining table, stopping his mouth with biting force.

[inhcritance]

❛  don’t you believe me?  ❜

 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻𝒀 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺. || Accepting

He pinches the bridge of his nose, resisting the urge to pace, and then breathes. He knows that if he hadn't, his answer might have been too fast, too sharp. And he doesn't want that.

"MJ..." he tries again, "he's a vigilante. We don't know what hides beneath that mask."

And perhaps his words might be the height of hypocrisy, he's not entirely unaware of that fact. Gone are the days where things were far easier.

"I know you think well of him." He adds. "And I know you can take care of yourself. But I still worry." He admits, softly, moving to rest a hand on her arm, attempting to be reassuring. Or to ask for reassurance, perhaps. "Can you promise me you'll be careful?"

That's all he will allow himself to ask of her. He'd like to ask her to stay away from him, to be as far as possible from his enemy... but there are lines he doesn't want to cross.

And, hopefully, even his enmity with most vigilantes might soon be a thing of the past. He needs to cling on to the hope he won't need to be the Goblin forever.

[rpgdreams]

Ipia Wickwoode, Somewhere in Unseely lands

Dearest Ipia,

I know not if this epistle will ever find you, nor do I even know in this hour if your heart beats in your body and if you can open my letter and read it, but nevertheless I endeavor now to make my feelings known and will put my thoughts to paper in hopes this missive will one day reach your brave hands and your discerning eyes for I have found a little bird who speaks in Unseely and claims it can pass through the veils to reach you.  While I know full well that an Unseely avian may as soon lie to me and peck at my eyes in my sleep than speak truly to me, but I yet have hope that this little creature can find you and so I write to you with a yearning and hopeful heart.

Seven and ten years it has now been since you left me alone in our camp in that forsaken wood so as to turn yourself in to he who was seeking you.  It seems to me as though it were yesterday, so strong is the vexation and disturbance of my emotions to this very day and yet in the very same moment it also seems as though it was a lifetime ago since I saw your fearless countenance which once gave me such comfort but which now I can barely envision in my memory.

It was a terrible time and also exciting for me, at my age--our exile in that wild wood after Mother's death. You were everything to me, my big sister, my teacher, and my protector. You taught me the ways of the knife. You taught me to move like a lynx. You comforted me when I was afraid. In that wilderness, you fed me wild honey and kept me safe in your arms.

On the day I woke to your note and your absence, I was beset instantly with a horror weighed heavy by grief and a driving rage all at once.  What was I?  Thirteen?  Fourteen?  I don’t even know.  We had laid together in sleep in our hideaway camp under our one blanket the night before, sister, when I was safe in your embrace, yet in the morning you were gone forever and I was alone, for the first time in my life, in the cold and bleak winter of the wood.  I could still feel your hair against my face, your thin warm body in my arms, your smell, and even your taste, but you, sister, were gone.

I knew you had gone to your certain death, or at best (or worst?) to be disappeared into an Unseely prison of nightmares.  My foresight was true and I have not heard even a rumor of you in these almost two decades.  My grief and anger weighed on me, sister.  I was so angry that you would do this to yourself–that you would do this to me.  I was a child; I had no concept of why you might have done what you did.  My anger drove me for years, but eventually subsided as I grew older and better knew what may have led you to your drastic act.  But, my grief–my heavy grief–remains to this day without surcease.  My only consolation is that they did not burn you outside the city gates as they had done to Mother.

I survived in the wood for a few more years as you knew I would and eventually was bold enough to enter the city where I was taken under the wing of a mercenary and from there I was employed by an agent of the King, learning spycraft in the world of men and had to learn how to survive all over again, and I did until I ran afoul of a certain fay agent who banished me to a forgotten and abandoned land of twilight nightmares.  I am afraid there I earned the enmity of a certain Unseely, but no matter, he is no threat to me now, and I found my escape in a new employment under a certain aunt of ours who intrigues from exile.  She favors me though her favor is burdensome, but the rewards are goodly, so I continue.

Through all of this, I think of you, sister.  Thoughts of you cut deep into my heart but also give me strength.  I can only hope you have found some happiness wherever you may be and that I will once again meet the intensity of your countenance and hold your doe-like body in my arms again, one day.

Your loving brother,  

Delvin Wickwoode

Craven Manor, 7 Olde Elfin Path, Deep in the Fairy Wood

Delvin-to-Ipia-1 | All We Love We Leave Behind

[dapper-nahrwhale]

The first of asks, 14 19 28 fir your character of choice

(Thxxx so much for the asks! Just know I am gently handing you an entire peeled orange just for you) I'm gonna do all 4 of my main ocs with this cuz why not ok here we go!

14. What smells or tastes do you associate with them?

Casey- the smell of small dasies in the spring they are new and fresh and will not last forever but for now they are sweet and for now you believe they will stay, the scent of rain on the pavement reminds you of home and your heart aches for a time you didn't have to fight with these newly calloused hands and these tired bright eyes and these hopeful faces staring at you and for now you must smile and tell the lies that it will be okay, the taste of sunshine fresh upon your face in this new and exciting place there is so much to look at so much to find so much to discover so much to be, the taste of salty tears as they run rampant down your face you regret ever waking up in that flower field you wish and hope and want only of a home so far away it might as well not exist anymore.

Wisteria- the swift scent of little gardens of windowsill flowers left to wilt in your continued deliberate absence, the smoke of the charred remains of last nights campfire that had been a mistake to light when on the run they will find you quickly and you must fight fast you are tired of running but it's all you know how to do, the taste of honey on your lips coating the swift lies you so very easily tell, the taste of iron so strong on your tongue it burns with the deceit you are so used to it you do not even flinch at it.

Curtis- the scent of death follows you everywheres you cannot escape it no matter how many times you run and run and run it will always follow you, the smell of growth in the newly tilled dirt you have not yet begun to grow but you will eventually one day you will be more you know that now, the taste of decay and nothingness everything tastes like the hollow bones you wish you could have saved, the taste of cucumbers fresh picked they taste much better than they did before when they were rotten and old.

Enmity- the longing scent of your mother's perfume a smell you intricately learned to hate more with every whiff, the scent of old crisp dusty books poured over for hours and hours endlessly searching for the answers you will never find, the taste of liquid gritty stardust that runs through your veins you know you will never be whole you can never fulfill the destiny the stars demand it wasnot supposed to be you they scream, the taste of loss ashy on your tongue it wasnt supposed to be like this not this time next time you will get it right you have to.

19. What would they prefer to do for their birthday? Do they even celebrate it at all?

Casey- if she had a calendar in this odd place maybe, but as it is, she cannot be sure how long has passed and how long will pass enough to tell. She would attempt to bake a little cake and share it with her friends and try to let the small good things last, no matter how temporary it would be.

Curtis- for a long while he did forget that birthdays were a thing people did, then he found reason for celebration again.

Wisteria- ageing along with the years that pass is a foreign concept to the fae, but she finds the birthday rituals fascinating to want one of their own.

Enmity- not anymore now that theres no one to share it with.

28. Is there a place that reminds them of their childhood? is that good bad or bittersweet?

Casey- the grassy flower field she awoke in this realm is not her home. When she thinks of home she is flooded by happy memories now tinged in sadness, she us unsure she will eve be able to go home. It certainly is not in this place, with these magics and these creatures from fairy tales. But she cannot return home, at least not now. There is much to be done, and she has no way of knowing how to get home anyways. But she misses it with all her heart and all her soul does she wish she could leave this fantastical place and just rest. At first, she relished this new and grand and unexpected adventure into this world, but now she just wishes it had been anyone else that had been Chosen instead of her. She does not know what to do who is worth saving who is worth leaving to die she is a child left making the choices adults refused to. They call her their Chosen from the Other world. They say she was brought here because the Prophecies demanded it to be, that she is supposed to be here as their last resort. She never asked for this. All she wishes is to go back to her home off this long gone realm, to go home. This adventure is what steals what vestiges are left from her childhood.

Wisteria- they were never allowed a childhood. She had to be alone. That was just how the pixies were after all, you are born of a flower, you die of a flower, that is how it goes. You will die for this, traitor. They disagreed on that with the fae. She only wanted to get out of this endless war, not be put into another one. They only wished to leave behind that brutal past, to not relive the present.

Curtis- he sees his old family home abandoned and moss overgrown and wild on this once idyllic place (it never was, your nostalgia decives you, it was alway your own personal hell). It hurts too much to think of his childhood taken too short from him, he desperately misses his sister but doesn't believe he deserves to miss her it was all his fault after all who could ever forgive him for that.

Enmity- the now empty palace that held her less lonely childhood is something if a safe haven and a prison all in one. It's the only place she belongs, it's the only place she doesn't want to be. But she cannot leave this palace of the gone and forgotten. She must stay and complete this work, if not for herself then for the stars. All this pain, all these tears, all this suffering will be worth something in the end. It has to be. Otherwise why else would it all happen? The answers are to be found in the stars. They must be. Why would the stars lie to her?

[Ask from here! Send more please!]

[sinner-as-saint]

‘Till We Bleed Out - 3.

Vampire!bucky x reader AU

Part 3 of this series. 

Run-through: Your car breaks down on a deserted road on a rainy night. You have no other option but to seek shelter from the nearest house you could find; the mansion, which happened to be the talk of the town for its mysteriousness along with its equally mysterious owner, Mr. Barnes. The universe can be tricky sometimes but the fact that you found yourself at that mansion’s doorstep at that time was no simple coincidence. That one night changes everything forever - quite literally. True love, past lives and creatures from folklore; turns out it’s all real. 

Themes throughout the series: vampire!bucky, fluff, smut, angst 

“Calm down, sweetheart.” 

He must’ve noticed you were on the verge of losing your mind. How could you not? You had so many questions. So many things you couldn’t wrap your brain around. What was the meaning of all this? 

“What is this?” you pointed at the painting; scared, nervous and baffled. 

Bucky walked further in, careful as to not make any sudden movement which would make you even more of a nervous wreck than you already were. “I’ll tell you everything, doll. Just calm down, alright. There’s nothing to be scared of. I’m right here with you.” 

You looked up at him in surprise. “Nothing to be scared of? There’s a painting of me and you dating back to 1872. That was almost a hundred and fifty years ago. But I met you just two days ago. None of this makes sense, none of it adds up. And that doesn’t bother you?” you sounded more sad and confused than scared. This isn’t normal. None of this is. “Who are you?” 

Despite knowing that someone else in your shoes would be screaming bloody murder and running for their lives by now, you stayed put. Despite the confusion, you felt protected. Something inside you knew no harm would come to you while Bucky’s around. But the rational side of you couldn’t afford listening to that side of you right now. Right now your brain needed concrete answers, not reassurance. 

“No. It doesn’t bother me.” He walked over and held you gently by the shoulders. “And if you let me explain, it won’t bother you either.” One look into his eyes and you felt yourself calming down already. 

“Make this make sense.” 

After he got you to sit down, in that very room, he began explaining. 

“I’m not exactly human, Y/N.” His first few words earned him a nod from you. 

“I figured that out a few minutes ago.” 

He continued. “And neither were you, in your previous lifetime.” That sentence shocked you. You didn’t know what was more surprising, learning that there was indeed a lifetime before this one or the fact that in the previous one, you and Bucky knew each other. “We were both vampires.” 

“Oh my God…” 

He paused for a while, trying to be as slow and as careful as he could be with his words. “We were married, you and I. And we were happy.” He said so and waited for your reaction. 

Your eyes watered and he noticed. “I’m… I was your wife?” you asked and he nodded. You thought back on all the things he told you about his wife; those were all about you. Your heart felt like it was being torn in two. “And I died.” he nodded again. “How did I die?” 

He took a deep breath and lowered his eyes to the dark carpet beneath his feet, that memory was always the hardest to revisit. “Our families were not exactly… friendly. Yours hated mine, and vice versa so our marriage was not something they could bear.” He let out a dry chuckle. He continued, a strange fire in his eyes; burning hot hatred. “They kept trying to break us apart,” he smiled, sadly, “but we were strong. Together.” He looked back up at you. “Until one day…” 

He stopped talking. He ran his fingers through his hair, he was hurting. You felt the intense need to just get up from the couch you were sat on, and walk over to where he sat and just comfort him. Maybe hug him and tell him it’s all okay now. But you remained seated, you couldn’t move. 

“Bucky… I need to know.” You figured it was a delicate subject but you needed to piece it all together. You were a mess at the moment. 

“We were returning home and we were attacked. By hunters.” 

You sat up straighter. “Hunters?” 

“Vampire hunters. Two different parties. Each anonymously hired and sent by our own families, ordered to have each of us killed. But you know, back then hunters had rivalry against each other as well. And ironically, the groups of hunters our family hired were not exactly seeing eye to eye with each other.” He let out another dry chuckle. “Upon reaching our home, they all forgot their initial purpose for a moment and began butchering one another instead, in the name of looming enmity. And you and I got caught in the crossfire. ” 

He paused. If it were physically possible he would’ve shivered at the memory; so tragically vivid in his mind. You waited for him to continue. “But some of them also remembered that they had been ordered to kill us both, so our front yard quickly became a battlefield.” He sounded bitter, angry. “We fought them off for a while but we were terribly outnumbered. I was wounded, so were you, and I tried to reach you but…” he trailed off, took a deep breath and continued, “they got to you first.” 

You tried to find the right thing to say but got nothing. Bucky spoke up again. “I was helpless. I couldn’t move. I had to watch as they… took you away from me.” He finally looked up at you and you were in shock. “Those sent by your family, what was left of them after the massacre at least, fled. Those sent by mine finished their job.” The look of hurt on his face was unbearable. “And I begged them. I begged them to kill me too but they just left me there.” 

You felt a weight on your chest. That was brutal. 

“You died at our doorstep.” He still remembered the last few moments he held you before you left… 

-

He somehow managed to get up and stumbled on his way to you, bullets and sharp stakes pierced all over his body as well as yours. You weren’t gonna make it, and he knew but he still begged you to stay. 

“You can’t leave me. You promised.” He cried, cradling your head on his lap. “Don’t leave me.” 

He watched how you used the little bit of energy left to choke out a few words. “I’ll find you again. Someday. I promise…” your body was getting heavier and heavier. Bucky felt like he was dying too. “I love you, Buck.” 

And with that, you closed your eyes forever. He sat there, your lifeless body in his arms and he screamed and yelled and cursed the universe. He was wounded, he would be healed by dawn. But you wouldn’t. He survived the attack that day, but part of him died along with you too. 

-

You cleared your throat. “How do you… how did you know it’s me? How can you be sure? What if I just look like her?” you looked up at the painting and he did too. 

He gave you a soft smile. “Chamomile and lavender tea is your favorite. You like red roses. You have a fear of deep water but you love the beach. You have this weird obsession with snakes. You love red wine. You could practically live in a library. Thunderstorms comfort you. You get a lot of déjà-vu, more than anyone you know. Also, you surely have a birthmark on your back, below your left shoulder. It perhaps hurts sometimes and you don’t know why, because regular birthmarks don’t hurt.” 

Your eyes widened more and more as he spoke, but you gasped when he mentioned the birthmark. “How do you know that?” Very few people knew of your rather strange birthmark which tingled, burned and hurt sometimes. 

“You were staked through the heart from the back. It left a mark on you.” He answered. “Forever.” 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to soak all this new information in. This was a lot to take in. 

You cleared your throat again. “I was a vampire.” You stated. Bucky nodded. “I married you.” He nodded again. “I can’t- how do I-,” 

“Hey, it’s a lot to take in. Take your time. Go to bed if you wish to.” His voice sounded so soft. 

Oh you couldn’t sleep, not with all this. You shook your head no, you had questions. “How long were we married for?” 

“Almost a century.” His answer made your jaw drop. 

“How old are you?” 

He chuckled. “250. Give or take a few years.” 

“Oh my God,” you sighed, genuinely surprised. You thought back on all that he said earlier, about your families, and asked, “You said our families were against our relationship.” He nodded. “Well, where are they now?” 

“Gone.” 

“What do you mean, gone?” 

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again. “After you left, I was unhinged. My memories of the couple of decades after your death is a little blurry. Apparently I went seeking revenge. But our friends found me and brought me back to sanity before I was gone completely and they told me that I had destroyed each and every last member of both our families.” 

“You killed them.” It wasn’t a question. 

“They deserved it. They took you away from me.” He sounded so broken, and hurt that you could feel your heart burn inside your ribcage. 

“When you say ‘our friends’ you mean…” you trailed off not knowing how to put it. 

He nodded. “Other vampires, yes. Most of them at least.” 

“This is so crazy.” You mumbled, looking down at your lap. This was too much to handle all at once. Bucky got up from his seat and walked cautiously over to you. 

He sat down on the edge of the wooden coffee table right in front of you and held his hand out. You placed your hand in his without a second thought. “You always had faith in the universe you know. You used to tell me that one single lifetime isn’t going to be enough for all the love that you and I have for each other. You used to always tell me that you’ll find me in the next one as well. And you did. You kept your promise. You’re home now, to me.” 

You felt a tear slide down your cheek. Those words sounded so familiar. Bucky reached out and wiped the tear away. “I… I don’t remember. I mean, I’ve lived a whole life not knowing you were until just a few days ago and now… all this?” 

He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed your knuckles softly. “It’s almost dawn. You haven’t slept well. Get some rest, we’ll figure it out. We always did.” 

You couldn’t argue. You needed to not think for a while, so you just nodded and got up. He didn’t follow you as you made your way to the bedroom and threw yourself down on the bed. You closed your eyes and slipped into a dreamless sleep. 

The next day, you spent most of your morning in the room; unable to leave the bed. Each time you thought back on all that was revealed to you last night, your head hurt. Wanda was kind enough to come in and leave you your meals. She didn’t say a word, just polite smiles. Bucky came by as well, each hour or so to check up on you. You weren’t ready to talk yet. He understood. 

You spent the rest of the day looking out of the window, into the vast backyard. The weather was still gloomy, much like your mood. 

After dinner, Bucky came by again. With tea this time. You gladly accepted the cup, remembering how it helped you sleep better the other night. Bucky was about to walk out but you stopped him. 

“Stay. Please.” You said, your voice a little strained because you had cried earlier, unable to understand the wave of emotion which washed over you. He rushed to sit next to you, on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been having dreams.” you confessed. 

“What kind of dreams?” 

“About you. About us, together. About ballrooms I’ve never been in, about people I haven’t met. And this house, ever since I got here it feels like I’ve... “ you trailed off, unable to find the right words. Or maybe the words were too crazy for you to utter them out loud. 

He finished your sentence. “Like you’ve lived here before?” 

“Yes.” You nodded. 

He smiled. “It’s because you have. This is your home, our home. Those aren’t dreams, they’re your memories.” 

Another tear fell down your cheek. Well, that made sense now. That would explain why your ‘dreams’ were so detailed. 

Bucky stayed and talked to you until you felt sleepy. He kissed you on the forehead, whispering a ‘goodnight’ once you got under the covers and was about to walk out of the room but you stopped him, yet again. 

“There’s something else.” you said. 

He stopped right at the door and turned around to face you, “Yes?” 

“The day I got here, when you opened the door, I…” you reminded yourself that he deserves to know, “I felt this pressing need to tell you that I finally found you. I didn’t understand what that meant then.” 

For the first time in a long time, Bucky genuinely smiled. And it was breathtaking. His smile was gorgeous, contagious. “Goodnight, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning.” He left. 

You fell asleep rather quickly. And dreamt, again...

Kisses under a grand chandelier. Blue eyes, laughter and wine. Pure bliss. 

“We should get going, sweetheart. It’s late.” Bucky whispered, holding you close. “And I can’t share you any longer. I need you all to myself now.” He kissed along your jaw, making you giggle. 

Home. At last. Only just as you got down from the carriage, you realized something was wrong. Pain, pain everywhere. 

Bullets, stakes, sticks, stones - everything hurt. You heard someone screaming as you were being dragged away from Bucky. It was you. You begged for mercy, but you didn’t receive any. Then suddenly, a spot on your back burned. It hurt more than anything you’ve ever experienced. You realized you were being staked through the heart, and it was too late. You couldn’t fight back. 

The pain, although excruciating, was replaced by fear. Fear of having to leave Bucky behind. Bucky… where was he? 

Your vision got blurry, you fell to the ground. You tried to call out for him but no sound came out of your mouth. You were fading away. But then you saw a pair of dark eyes which slowly turned blue and teary. 

“Don’t leave me…” 

“I’ll find you, I promise.” All the years you spent with him flashed in front of your eyes. Your wedding, and the decades of pure happiness which followed. “I’ll find you…” 

You woke up gasping again, covered in goosebumps. You had a terrible headache as it all came to you at once; memories of a forgotten lifetime. You struggled to breathe; it felt like being hit by a violent wave and being pushed deeper beneath the surface. Your birthmark burned hot. And your lungs felt like they were on fire. 

You sat there in bed, breathing hard and fast as you remembered everything. You realized you had tears streaming down your face. It was all too much, but you kept searching for more. And the more you looked the more you found. You felt like you were about to pass out. 

1802, when you first met Bucky. Married in 1808. You died about 90 years after that. You remembered. You remembered it all now. Your cruel family, and his. The bloodshed of that night. And how you died at the doorstep of this mansion. This mansion… your home. You knew this place like the back of your hand. This is your home. 

You’re home. 

You called out, not too loud, knowing he would hear you still. “Bucky!” you held back sob. How did you survive all these years? Without him? 

“Bucky!” you called out again, crying out loud this time. You heard his footsteps running down the hall. And your heart raced. 

You had been so close to your home this whole time, so close to Bucky, in the same town. You just didn’t know.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 25 - ao3 -

“Qiren-xiong! Qiren-xiong!”

Lan Qiren opened his eyes, disoriented and confused at being so abruptly disturbed in such an unexpected fashion. This sort of shouting and running around were not permitted in the Cloud Recesses, lest they disturb the cultivation or quiet contemplation of others, and anyway he had never heard such panic in Lan Yueheng’s voice before. Not even with his first explosion, back when he’d still been afraid of fire.

“Yueheng-xiong?” he asked, unfolding his legs from his meditation posture. Taking that as permission, Lan Yueheng burst through his door. “What’s happened?”

“Something terrible,” Lan Yueheng said. His cheeks were pale, his eyes wild; Lan Qiren had never seen him like that. “Qiren-xiong…it’s your brother – no. It’s He Kexin.”

“Say one, say the other,” Lan Qiren said dryly, trying to lighten the mood a little without any success. “What about her?”

“She’s killed someone.”

“What?” Lan Qiren stood up almost too fast, and his head spun. “Who? Not one of ours?”

“A teacher!” Lan Yueheng wailed. “I don’t know which one, but one of them – an honored teacher – she killed him – ”

Lan Qiren rushed out the door, a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. There were teachers he liked and teachers he didn’t like, teachers that were good at teaching and teachers that were poor, but they were all his teachers – teacher for a day, father for a lifetime, as the saying went.

Even the ones he didn’t get along with so well, he’d made up with in time, and he was on good enough terms with all of them now. So was his brother, for that matter…

A horrible thought occurred to Lan Qiren: would this be the thing that finally broke his brother’s madness? Was blood truly necessary to wash away his obsession – or would he persist onwards, ignoring even this?

Surely that was impossible.

Surely not even their family’s love-madness –

Lan Qiren felt even sicker, and hurried his pace still further. 

He knew the histories of the Lan sect better than many others. After all, it was his personal family history as well as the sect's history, and there had been a period in his life when he had briefly focused in on that history to the exclusion of everything else as a subset of his interest in the Lan sect rules; in retrospect, it had probably been in part a misguided subconscious attempt to make himself fit in with the rest of them through study and sheer force of will.

Unfortunately, that knowledge meant that he knew enough not to be able to even finish that thought. His family’s tendency towards love-madness was truly terrible, a panacea in small doses and poison in large: his ancestors had achieved miracles that no one had anticipated on behalf of their loved ones, but they’d done terrible things for love, too. When it was good, there was nothing better; when it went bad, there was no limit to what they might do. There was a reason everyone had been just waiting around hoping for his brother to get over it by himself…

Lan Qiren made it to the hanshi and saw several of his elders there, including a few teachers. Each one he saw and recognized made his heart relieved, and yet also tighten in terror: what about the rest?

Which one had been lost? Which familiar face would he never see again?

He didn’t doubt Lan Yueheng for a second. If he said that someone had died, it must be true - and even if he had harbored any such hopes, the grim expressions on everyone’s faces made clear that there was nothing good to be found here.

It was all happening too quickly. He didn’t have time to think.

(Who would be gone from their holiday feasts, their seat left empty or taken up by someone new? Whose voice would go missing from their debates, their wisdom and insight lost forever? His swordfighting teacher, who he’d butted heads with more often than not? His music teacher, who had praised him and defended him as a child? Who?)

“Qiren, good, you’re here,” one of the elders said upon seeing him, waving him forward and glaring at the other disciples milling around until they scattered. “You’re needed – there must be a trial.”

“Of course,” Lan Qiren said, suddenly alarmed at the suggestion that there might not be one. If there was a death, there would need to be a trial; their sect valued the rules, and would never condone an outright execution without appropriate judgment.  “Yueheng-xiong said – a murder?”

“A killing,” the elder confirmed. “It looks to be murder, but there’s been no investigation yet – but she’s admitted committing the act.”

There was no need to specify who. In the last month or so, there had been only one person on everyone’s lips.

Lan Qiren swallowed, braced himself. “Who was the victim?”

Hearing the name was like receiving a blow, making him stagger and want to sit down.

Neither his teacher in the sword, with whom Lan Qiren shared a small enmity and who his brother adored, nor his music teacher, who Lan Qiren held dearest of all and his brother was indifferent towards - but the old one, the one that spoke up only rarely, preferring to spend most of his time sleeping, but which always put in a good word for everyone whenever he did so. 

He was one of their oldest, well-meaning if perhaps too strict, a respected teacher for years and years. He had been their father’s teacher, once, and Lan Qiren remembered how he used to keep sweets in his pockets and distribute them to the juniors - in some cases, long after they were too old for such things. Lan Qiren remembered his brother’s long-suffering expression when he was “snuck” such a treat well into his adolescence; he remembered, too, how his brother had eaten the candy anyway and how it had improved his mood - he had even smiled in amusement at Lan Qiren when he had gobbled his own down without any grace at all. 

He had praised Lan Qiren’s academic skills and encouraged him - had been one of the ones who took him to see his father every month as a child, had been one of the few who had scolded Lan Qiren’s brother for not being kind because not even Lan Qiren’s father could prevent him. He had a reputation for being a little overbearing, a little nosy, a little tactless with the carelessness of age, but that had mostly come from how much he wanted everyone to get along. 

He was someone who was greatly respected and admired by everyone.

“Why?” Lan Qiren choked out. 

It made no sense for He Kexin to kill him. If anything, she should have seen him as a natural ally: he was one of the ones who most vociferously opposed the match.

In fairness, by this point, most of the teachers had settled on that position, reluctant as they were to reach that conclusion when it was something that Lan Qiren’s brother so obviously wanted. It was simply too clear to everyone that He Kexin, whatever her somewhat improved opinion of ‘her’ Qingheng-jun was, was not interested in becoming Madame Lan, either now or later. 

If Lan Qiren’s brother had had any notion of true filial piety, if he had been strictly taught the rules and taught to keep to the rules, he would have dropped the suit long ago, knowing that his sect demanded more from him than what he was giving to it. But he wasn’t, and he hadn’t, and Lan Qiren recalled with great bitterness all the times when his brother had equated the well-being of the sect with his own interests and no one had opposed him, least of all their father. 

Here was where it all ended up. 

“Why did she kill him?” he asked.

“We don’t know.”

“Worse than that,” one of the others said, hands gripped so tightly behind his back that his shoulders bent backwards. “We don’t know...the sect leader has been informed, but he has not yet issued a judgment.”

He meant that he didn’t know if Lan Qiren’s brother even would.

Lan Qiren shook his head. “Uphold the value of justice,” he said, and looked at his teachers and elders sidelong. “Take the straight path, reject the crooked path. Do not take a life within the premises. The rules are quite clear: a murder within the Cloud Recesses calls for a trial, and for a harsh response, no matter the personal cost. Do you agree?”

The elders looked back at him, surprised: Lan Qiren had never cited the rules as a warning before. He had never made clear that he, at least, would have no intention of stepping aside this time – brother or no brother, sect leader or no sect leader, this was simply a step too far. There were rules that could be bent and rules that could be broken, ones that could be responded to with punishments and others that had to be dealt with harshly, living up to the demands of justice no matter how bitter.

If they bent the rules on something like this – there would be no point in having the rules at all. They would only be making a mockery of them, paying lip service when whole-hearted adherence was what was required; they might as well throw them out entirely rather than let themselves become hypocrites of the worst sort. Lan Qiren knew that he tended towards inflexibility, that he was too stern and too unforgiving, but this was the sort of thing that simply could not be forgiven; they could not find a loophole, they could not be moved by mercy, they could not simply bow their heads and shrug their shoulders and look away this time, the way they had so many times before. 

If they allowed for power and influence, the protection of the sect leader, to overcome their principles – if they punished only those who were weak and had no backing, and refrained when it was the sect leader’s beloved – then they ought to lose the right to call themselves Gusu Lan.

“You’re right,” his teacher finally said. “The rules are clear. We must do what is right.”

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said, and braced himself. “No matter the cost, we must.”

This was going to hurt.

Not just his brother. Lan Qiren didn’t know what his lovesick brother would do in response to this fiasco, but he was certain it wouldn’t be good, not for him and not for her and not for any of them, the sect and all. This was going to hurt everyone.

But then again – hadn’t all this hurt them all already?

A feeling of deep foreboding settled deep in his gut, Lan Qiren entered the hanshi, where his brother was waiting, eyes narrow and features set and defiant, standing in front of He Kexin, her own features equally defiant and yet also strangely confused, as if despite the fact that her sleeve was still splattered with blood she had not yet absorbed what she had done.

When all the present elders and members of the main Lan clan had gathered – all the ones who, when all together and speaking in a single voice, were entitled to override the orders of the sect leader – the argument began in earnest.

Everything happened very quickly after that.

After, when it was all over, Lan Qiren didn’t remember the exact words said or the arguments made. He didn’t remember the rules he cited or the positions he took – he barely even remembered that he had for the first time in his life spoke out in earnest, acting as a full adult of the Lan clan with all the rights and privileges he had never felt truly entitled to claim, standing in actual opposition to his brother and refusing to yield and insisting that for once, for once, the rest of the sect refuse to yield alongside him. 

He didn’t remember much of anything else, either.

He didn’t remember the details of He Kexin’s defense, didn’t remember the stupid reasons she’d spouted for what she had done – her story only made sense if you assumed the worst in people, and then acted upon it without bothering to check. Thanks to Lan Qiren’s brother’s endless persistence, He Kexin had a terrible impression of the Lan sect; it had made it easy for her to believe it when her friend abruptly claimed that the teacher had engaged in misconduct, when in fact he had only correctly identified that He Kexin’s beloved ‘sister’ was using Qingheng-jun’s love-madness and indulgence to try to benefit her own sect, and had scolded her for it. 

He barely remembered the way He Kexin’s story had collapsed in the face of even the most basic of questioning, all of her assumptions falling apart one right after the other, and then falling apart even further in the face of actual presented evidence. The way that it became increasingly obvious that one of her friends had lied to her in order to manipulate her, had been lying for weeks on end and encouraging her to carry on the relationship just to take advantage of her. 

He scarcely recalled the exact words that were spoken when even He Kexin’s friend, already captured by Lan sect disciples on account of the crime and dragged in to give account, denounced He Kexin’s actions. If only she had been less arrogant, her friend complained, less overenthusiastic - she hadn’t mean to push He Kexin to go so far as to kill the man, had meant only for her to use her influence with Qingheng-jun to immunize them against the teacher’s criticism. Only in her excess disdain for the Lan sect, He Kexin had jumped straight to the worst conclusions and gone too far, and now she had now ruined everything…

The details didn’t matter.

What Lan Qiren did remember was the look of horror on He Kexin’s face when it all fell into place. He remembered how she stared down at her hands that had killed a man for so little purpose, for no purpose at all, on the basis of false accusations because of her blind trust and unwillingness to question, her refusal to communicate and her unwavering belief that she knew best. He remembered the alarm and very real fear that appeared when the first elder proposed a sentence of death, pointing out that the only appropriate resolution for such a pointless murder was the most severe, that it would be a life for a life in the traditions of the cultivation world –

Remembered the expression on her face when his brother proposed a different solution.

Remembered the expression on his brother’s face, fanatical and determined, the whites showing all around his eyes, the reckless madness of love writ all over his face – it had consumed him wholly. He had given himself away in full, and there was nothing left, nothing binding him back other than the duty that had always weighed him down.

Remembered how he had responded – what he had offered –  

“This cannot be,” Lan Qiren said numbly, walking out into the light of dawn – they had argued the whole night through before reaching the end. “What are we going to do?”

“Qingheng-jun is entitled to resign his position and enter permanent seclusion if he so wishes,” his music teacher said heavily, his voice nearly as dull and shocked as Lan Qiren’s. “His wife, whoever she may be, is entitled to do the same, matching her actions to his. It is our sect’s way: that those who travel the same path as Dao companions be allowed to continue down that same path, never being parted in life. The precedent was set years ago…”

“As was the one that dictates that those who are in permanent seclusion cannot be removed against their will for any reason,” his swordsmanship teacher said, his voice equally solemn. “Not even for trial, should a crime later be discovered. As their seclusion is permanent, they are removed from the world – they are considered as if already dead, never showing their face under the heavens.”

Lan Qiren knew all of this. He knew all the stories, all the rules, all the precedent – not that it had ever been used this way, but his brother had always been one to find loopholes in the rules, to bend their letter to his will rather than bend his neck to honor their spirit. If He Kexin was his wife, she could accompany him anywhere, including into seclusion; if they were both in seclusion, she could not be tried; if she could not be tried, she could not be found guilty and sentenced to die.

“He condemns her instead to a living death, then,” he said woodenly. “She doesn’t even – like him.”

“She is not the one who chose seclusion. She is welcome to leave at any time,” his swordsmanship teacher said bitterly. “Provided, of course, that she is willing to bear the cost and lose her life to pay for her crime.”

He Kexin wouldn’t do that, Lan Qiren knew. She was vivacious and bright, full of life and humor and hope; she feared death, as any regular person did, and she was not part of the Lan sect – she didn’t know how strict their seclusion was. She didn’t know how taxing it would be on her, how little she would see of the world, how disconnected and isolated she would be.  

There would be servants to care for her in her seclusion, but they would seek to minimize their presence as much as possible to avoid disturbing her, speaking to her only when necessary. She would be able to speak with her husband, to meet with him on occasion – their seclusion was technically shared, and therefore meetings between them were not counted as a breach of that seclusion, but they would not be permitted to meet too often, lest they be distracted from the higher purpose of cultivation by bodily affairs.

Permanent seclusion was rarely chosen by those young enough to allow for the possibility, but should there be any children born into her seclusion, they would be taken from her and allowed to visit only rarely – the exact frequency had not been recorded, and would probably be a matter of debate should the issue ever come up. Their father would likely see them even less often, only on holidays involving filial piety, and whether he would speak to them would be entirely up to him; there was no obligation on his part.

“How could this be worth it?” Lan Qiren whispered. “How could he…?”

“He is in love,” his music teacher said, as if it were a death sentence.

It was a death sentence.

“We must send word to the former sect leader,” his swordsmanship teacher said, shaking his head. “He, too, is in permanent seclusion and cannot be forced out, but he retreated from the world in honor, not on account of a crime; he could break his seclusion voluntarily. He has always cared deeply for the affairs of the sect – surely he would…”

He trailed off, shaking his head a second time. A motion was taken among the elders and members of the Lan clan, each one of them deeply subdued – He Kexin had already been taken away by her bridegroom to perform the marriage ceremony in the memorial hall, without any of the usual trappings of such a festive event – and a runner was soon sent to the rooms that Lan Qiren’s father had selected for seclusion.

Each of them anticipated a long wait, expecting the former sect leader to demand a full explanation of all that had occurred before emerging, yet to their surprise the runner returned within half a shichen, scarcely enough time to get to the rooms and to return.

“Seniors,” the runner cried, throwing himself down on his knees and touching his head to the floor. “I sought to alert the sect leader of what passed here this night. I called his name time and again, rang the bell to alert him of an emergency…”

“And what?” one of the elders demanded. “What happened then? Why have you returned so quickly?”

“He did not respond,” the runner said. “No matter what I did…I thought the situation was desperate, and so acted rashly. I bypassed the prohibitions and looked through the window – seniors, honored teachers, the former sect leader is dead!”

Lan Qiren started violently.

“What?” his swordfighting teacher demanded, rising to his feet – they were all rising up, all but Lan Qiren who only sat there, stiff in shock. “What do you mean? Even if his cultivation failed, it would not be so soon!”

“It cannot be doubted. After what I saw, I went inside to confirm it. He is dead.”

“When,” Lan Qiren said dully, barely bothering to make it a question.

Everyone turned to look at him.

“It has been an entire night,” he said, staring down at his hands. “Bad news flies on swift wings, and spreads as quickly and inexorably as ink in water. Tell me - did my father die by his own hand before or after he found out what his beloved eldest son has done?”

Nobody answered him.

[yeoldemothmemes]

Love Based Sentence Starters

In celebration of valentines day coming up. Went through my whole blog to find all the sentences that feature the word Love in some capacity. Feel free to change pronouns as needed Content warnings: Illness mention, Death mention “'Cause my love is set in stone” “'Cause my love will still be here” “Without my son, your love could disappear” “You're the only one I've ever loved” “Its hard to write about love when you have no experience with it” “From mom with love” “There is the beautiful fallen angel we all know and love” “Listen up. Which one of us do you love more? Me or *insert name*” “You love *insert name here* right?” “I love you so much“ “They love the sun and it loves them back” “I wish to god I could make myself love you, but I can’t!” “If you really loved me, I never would have gotten sick in the first place!” “They’ll never love me, so I’m done trying to fight this illness.” “I tried everything I could to make myself love them, but nothing worked.. and now they’re gone…” “Now I understand the meaning of the word ‘lovesick’…” “I don’t think I have the ability to love anymore.” “People say I used to love him/her/them, but after the surgery, I couldn’t even remember his/her/their name…” “I know, I love you too” “I love you” “You love me?” “Would that I could love again” “Eliminating the only obstacle to your unrequited love” “Between men and women there is no friendship. There is passion, enmity, worship, love. But no friendship” “Love the dress” “Love of my life that week” “It was my wedding day, I was getting married to the love of my life, *BLANK*” “You do not understand how much my roomie loved them” “Lovely door you have here” “Do you get used to it, the idea of not being alive? That you’ll watch those you love die and remain forever in these dusty halls” “It was a present from my lover” “I can’t give away all of the parts of me that still love you” “There is always going to be a part of me that loves you” “*BLANK* still won’t love me” “This is the exact stuff great love songs are made of” “This is my box of all of the parts of me that still love you” “He just coasting off dumb girls in the audience because he sings love songs on stage with his girlfriend” “I like to express my love by writing poems and not letting anyone read them ever” “The holidays are a time for you to express love and appreciation for the friends and family in your life” “I love that book and I also love cats” “Our house has such a lovely wrap around porch” “It’s like a postmodern approach to love” “Puns, I love this guy” “You know I love you….. Like a dad…. Like a boss… boss dad love” “I’m really not desperate, but I could really use some love right now” “I’m going to ride this train until my one true loves hops on board” “There has been no support for why are you are in love with this guy except he’s real pretty” “Lust is not love” “I love romantic comedies” “I just love you so much”

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible

by J.R. Miller

The Conversion of Saul (Acts 9:1-30)

Before conversion Saul was as intense in his zeal for the destroying of Christianity, as he was after his conversion in his efforts to extend the kingdom of Christ. From place to place he went, from house to house, seizing men and women, casting them into prison and punishing them. This was the sort of man Saul was, the morning of the day of his conversion.

Why was Saul so bitter against Jesus? What was the reason for his opposition? He was a loyal Jew, and Jesus had been crucified by the rulers of his people as a blasphemer. In this hatred of the rulers of his nation to Jesus, Saul sympathized. That such a man should claim to be the Messiah foretold by the prophets, appeared to Saul proof that He was an impostor. According to Saul's thought, Jesus had fulfilled none of the Jewish expectations regarding the Messiah: He had established no kingdom; He had wrought no deliverance for His people. Thinking of Jesus in this way, Saul readily conceived that He was an impostor and that belief in Him as the Messiah was heresy, which he as a true Jew was bound to do all he could to stamp out. Saul was conscientious in his opinions concerning Jesus, and in his work as a persecutor.

In his journey Saul was drawing near unto Damascus, intent upon his errand of finding and seizing all disciples there. We can imagine the terror of the Christians at Damascus as they heard of the approach of the terrible persecutor, whose name spread dismay wherever it was heard. No doubt they were praying God to stop his progress. We can imagine also what passed in the mind of this traveler as he journeyed along the way. He never had forgotten Stephen's words before the council, or Stephen's death, with the prayer that he made for his murderers with his last breath.

In all his terrible work as a persecutor, Saul had also seen many glimpses of Christian life in the homes he had entered. Stephen was not the only man of those Saul had met in his warfare on Christians who had shown the gentle and kindly spirit of the Master. He must have seen sweet faith and gentle trust, which deeply affected him. Is it possible that doubts of the rightness of his own course troubled him? The words of the Lord to him about kicking against the goads seem to indicate that Saul had really been fighting against his own convictions, especially the later days of his persecuting work. Thus he was prepared for the sudden appearance of Jesus to him in the way.

He had almost reached the end of his journey when a strange thing happened. "Suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him." It was more than light - it was the glory of a person, the divine person of Christ. In the dazzling brightness of the great light Saul fell to the earth. As he lay there he heard a voice, calling him by name, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" Every word was emphatic. "Why?" What had Jesus done to Saul, to deserve such treatment? If He had been a tyrant while on the earth, if He had gone about burning towns, desolating homes, crushing the weak and the poor, and causing pain, poverty and sorrow - there would have been some excuse for Saul's bitter relentless enmity. But Jesus had gone about only doing good. Whey had Saul so fought against Jesus?

"Why do you persecute me?" The question was personal. Saul had to stand face to face with the glorified Jesus and answer why he, Saul was His enemy. Every human soul stands in a personal relation to Jesus Christ. We cannot lose ourselves in any company. The question is always a personal one, "What do you think of the Christ?"

"Why do you persecute me ?" Saul had not personally persecuted Jesus - probably he had never even seen Him. But one who lifts a hand against any of Christ's disciples, lift a hand against Christ Himself, for Christ makes common cause with each one of His people, even the lowliest. "I was hungry, and you gave me nothing to eat… Inasmuch as you did it not unto one of these least, you did it not unto me." He, who wrongs a Christian, wrongs Christ!

Saul saw before him the glorified form of Jesus. He was amazed and asked, "Who are you, Lord?" He never had dreamed that the lowly man who went about through Galilee working miracles and teaching the people - was indeed the Son of God, the Messiah! He had thought Him only a man, an impostor. But now he saw before a glorious Person, the most glorious he had ever seen, radiant in divine splendor. Then, when he asked, "Who are you?" the answer came, "I am Jesus." This divine Being was the lowly Jesus whom Saul was persecuting! Instantly he saw the terrible mistake he had been making. This Jesus was indeed the Messiah, the Son of God!

But he resisted no longer. His opposition was over forever. In one of the accounts which Saul gave of his conversion, we are told that the first question, "Who are you, Lord?" was followed by another, as soon as he heard the answer, "What will you have me to do?" This question implies full surrender. He asked at once for his duty, entering the service of this new Master immediately.

To the question, "What will you have me to do?" came the answer, "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do." Acts 9:6. He was not to lie there in the dust, defeated and broken. This was not to be the end of his Life. Jesus had not meant to destroy him - but to save him and call him into service. He must rise up. When God finds us in our sins, we are not to lie down and weep inconsolably over the ruined past. No matter if the best part of life is gone, we may not, we dare not - spend one moment in mere idle tears and regret over it. We should rise instantly, turn our faces resolutely away from our wrong and wasted past, and put into the days that remain all we can of strength and beauty.

God guides us one step at a time. Saul did not learn that moment what his whole mission would be; he did learn, however, the first step of obedience. He was to go into the city, and when he got there he would learn more. When a young Christian begins to follow Christ he is not likely to be shown his duty for his whole life. He will be shown one step, however, and if he takes that, another step will be made plain, and another, and another, and so on, step by step, until he has reached the end of a noble and beautiful life.

"I do not ask to see The distant scene - one step is enough for me."

The part of Ananias in the conversion of Saul, has interesting lesson for us. Why did not Jesus Himself complete the work without calling in any man to help Him? We do not know, excepting that it is usually His way to use human helpers. Ananias was startled to receive the command, "Arise, and go to the street which is called Straight, and inquire in the house of Judas for one named Saul, a man of Tarsus." It brings Jesus very close to notice how intimately he was acquainted with all that was going on in the city. He knew the names of the streets and where each person lived or was even temporarily staying. Christ in heaven today knows us by name and is familiar with the most intimate events of our lives. He knows the house we live in, and the street, and knows our present desires and needs, and hears our prayers.

No wonder Ananias hesitated when he was bidden to go to meet the terrible scourge of the church. He had heard a great deal about Saul and had learned to dread him. But the Lord assures Ananias that there will be no danger in his going to find Saul. "Behold, he is praying." This was evidence that Saul was not now a dangerous man. Not only was he praying - but he was praying for just the help Ananias could bear to him. Further, Ananias was assured that this very Saul, who had been such a terrible persecutor, was a chosen vessel for Christ, to bear His name before Gentiles and kings.

[valkyrieelysia18]

RWBY Rewrite: The Jaundice Arc

Hey there everybody! Sorry it’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me, but I’ve got a job now and less of writing drive than I had when I was high school/college. Doesn’t mean it’s completely gone though and now I’m going to tackle the point that people started to really have problems with RWBY: the Jaundice Arc.

I know, big guns, but frankly I wanted to get this one. Partially because I want to do Jaune’s post eventually and I feel like I need to do this one before I can do that one, and partially because like I said before: this point where people really started to have problems with the show. And more specifically, this when people REALLY start to dislike Jaune.

Now, I’ve touched on my feelings on him before, but let me get this all out and over with. I don’t hate Jaune and I don’t think he’s an inherently bad character. Almost everyone on this show has been written badly and I think the absolutely simmering undercurrents that some parts of the RWDE community have for him is perhaps a little over the top. Personally, I think the core idea of his character is pretty good and he’s at his best in my opinion when he’s playing support to the other characters.

That being said, I completely understand why people dislike him. He has been constantly given focus away from the main team, which started in Volume 1 which was already short as it was to devote about a quarter of your episodes to a non main character in your first season. He also doesn’t suffer nearly as much for the consequences of his actions while the female characters get constant crap for theirs. I’m not even going to go into the Miles Luna Author Self Insert thing.

After having read fan fiction and seen some rewrite scenarios on Youtube, I personally think that Jaune can be written well so long as he’s not being written by Miles and Kerry. With that, I’m ready to take my crack at it.

Setup

As I said, Jaune took massive screen time away from the main characters since early on in the series. There’s an easy way to fix this. As I stated in an earlier post, I was going to spend the first volume/season focusing on Team RWBY aside from a small potential team up with Team JNPR. Jaune, and his other teammates, would mainly be relegated to comedy and background support for the main four girls after the Initiation. I’d throw in a few hints of what’s to come with them, but that’s it. Thus, I’d actually put the Jaundice Arc in the second volume/season which would be significantly larger than the first.

Because we’d be doing it then, we’d have bit more buildup for this story. Cardin’s bullying and enmity towards Jaune would be set up in the prior volume/season’s class interactions. As I noted in my School Rewrite, Jaune’s strategic abilities would also be showcased early on as well as Cardin’s tendency to go head on and brutal without realizing potential problems with that approach. Jaune’s relationship with Pyrrha and the rest of his team would also be better set up.

Now that the board is set, let’s get to it.

Student Days

The first thing I would absolutely change is making it clear that Jaune is actually trying. That was the thing that really did irk me with how Miles and Kerry wrote this arc, despite having gone through the effort of cheating his way into a huntsman academy, he then proceeds to goof off and put absolutely no effort into it. So, before and during this arc, it’ll be clearly shown he’s been studying like crazy and putting in extra time into the fighting simulations that are available for students. He’s not failing in terms of his regular studies, but he’s not top of the class either. In terms of physical combat, he’s the worst in his year, but he’s exceptional in Strategy and Tactics. This I think would be a good and reasonable place for Jaune starting out given his character and background prior to the series.

Thing is, this pisses Cardin off. He sees how much of a weakling Jaune is as a fighter and can see that he is so out of place at Beacon. Despite this, he’s paired with arguably the strongest person in their class who hangs on his every word and has (unintentionally) been showing him up as a leader during Strategy and Tactics. He knows something is off with Jaune, leading him to spy on him to figure out what’s up.

I wouldn’t change that much with him and Pyrrha’s interaction on the roof, I already briefed the reason why Pyrrha trusts him as a leader in her rewrite post. Maybe throw in a hint that his father really didn’t want Jaune to become a huntsman, but I’ll get into that when I get into his backstory proper.

I also wouldn’t change that much revolving in his talk with Cardin straight after save for one thing. After Jaune is left alone with his thoughts on this situation his lies have gotten him into, the scene shifts to being shown on a screen, making it clear that this is being watched from a camera on the roof. A finger taps on the screen a few times and we hear a familiar pensive hum.

The fall out with his team and his one on one with Ruby isn’t really changed, aside from Ren and Nora being more vocally concerned about Jaune’s actions and Pyrrha’s frosty change in behavior which the latter shoots down the concerns sharply.

Forever Falls/Aftermath

I don’t think I’ll change that much regarding the trip itself. I was thinking of mentioning the reason the teams are there is because this is their group task for the month (gathering sap for Professor Peach, who would actually be here taking originally Glynda’s place) and that’s why it’s only these three teams here. Same overall events occur: CRDL tries to get Pyrrha, Jaune stands up to Cardin, Grimm take down with Pyrrha’s unknown aid.

Jaune does apologize to Pyrrha like in the original and ask to train him. Though I was thinking that he’d get something a bit more painful than just a hard shove. I was thinking she’d take his hand and tackle him to the ground hard while pointing out his weaknesses.

This will cut to Ozpin’s office, with Cardin finishing up with telling his version of events who is obviously very agitated from the day’s events. In this Rewrite, there is no reason why he wouldn’t just tell on Jaune. Ozpin merely takes it all in with pensive expression before asking about the light that seemed to protect Jaune. Cardin answers this with confusion and some surprise, Ozpin nodding with a “Good to know” before updating a file on his tablet. Cardin is even more confused and asks what the Headmaster is going to do about Jaune. His answer: Nothing.

Cardin is shocked and furious at the Headmaster, going into him a bit before threatening to go to the board with this. Ozpin responds that even if he did so, he wouldn’t have a case. Cardin is completely confused as Ozpin explains: When students apply for Beacon, their applications go through extensive background checks before there are selections for the second round (ie the Entrance Exam). Such fake transcripts would have been discovered around that time.....had they actually gone through the admissions board. As it was, Jaune’s was accepted through an alternative.

But honestly, that’s not to say the admissions board is completely infallible, Ozpin would muse. Some are very inclined to promote those connected to them, others are interested in advancing their career elsewhere,.....and some might be inclined to take money from very influential people, such as a well meaning Uncle whose Council seat is up for reelection soon. Cardin gets noticeably stiff at that last one. Then Ozpin bring up some videos to the screen, all of them showing Cardin and his team bullying others, particularly Faunus students. The headmaster then would muse aloud that he wonder how Councilman Winchester, or moreso his Faunus opponent, would react to such un-Huntsman like behavior getting out into the news. Cardin immediately gets what the headmaster wants and goes completely quiet. Ozpin would merely say that he is a big believer in second chances and that while he understands that shenanigans in such as a school as this is to expected, Cardin would do best to remember that even if he thinks no one is watching he should act like there is. This cuts the meeting to a close with Cardin leaving quietly and Oz going back to his tablet, clicking back to a file with Jaune’s symbol on in it amongst others files with symbols on them. Only Jaune’s is a different color than the others and a scroll up would show us only one other file with that same color: Ruby’s.

Okay, it feels like I spent a lot of this post musing on the Cardin and Ozpin scene (really I could have done a oneshot on it), but this really was an important scene to establish some very important things to this Rewrite.

1. Ozpin is not an idiot. Ozpin is shown to be very aware of what’s going on at his school. While he may not get directly involved with things, he is shown to be watching his students. And while he is shown to be merciful in giving Cardin a second chance after the crap he pulled, he is also shown to not be a pushover. With such vigilance showcased, it will the Fall of Beacon even more devastating in how Ozpin missed his enemies working under his nose.

2. Ozpin’s true nature and goals are thrown into question. This rewrite is going to be more morally gray, especially in regards to Ozpin. Not only has he blackmailed a student to keep it quiet about another student, he knowingly let someone into his school he knew wasn’t qualified. In this rewrite up until this point he would have been shown as a distant but well intentioned headmaster. Now, he’s just gotten plenty shady. It would also bring into question Ruby’s enrollment into Beacon given that she got in in the same way (also strengthening those two’s parallels, but I digress).

3. Makes us question why Ozpin let Jaune in and sets up that Jaune is important in some way. As noted in my musings in a previous post, it makes no sense for Jaune to have gotten into Beacon unless Ozpin saw his transcripts and accepted him on that alone. Since we are shown in this scene Ozpin is aware of the transcripts, it makes us question what did he accept Jaune for. This also sets up that he will be important to the story moving forward, and not just as the revenge driven not ex boyfriend of the girl who tragically died.

Now, why did Ozpin accept him? Well, that will be covered in his own character post. I think this is plenty long enough and I think I will do something different before I get back to these Rewrite post. I hope like this one more than the last.

See you all! And stay save in this Covid time!

[reconsidering-my-life-choices]

Shine on you crazy Diamond.

A Tyril fic.

Pairing: Tyril x MC

Summary: This is au! Human! Tyril Starfury, and the way he meets mc in this universe. He's the head of a corporation, along with his father, and problems start arising after his engagement falls apart.

Word count: 1,996 words.

Warnings: None

You boy child, winner and loser.

He absent-mindedly walked down through the dim-lighted streets. A light drizzle falling, and dampening his long hair. He should have brought an umbrella. Though the weather was the last thing on his mind when he left his house that morning.

He was still fuming about that last foolish article they had written about him.

It’s been almost a week, give it a rest now.

A week since his engagement had fall apart. A week since the tabloids were filled with pictures of his former fiancée in the arms of another man.

He usually didn't care whatever it was they wrote about him, he had gotten used to the public scrutiny. But this time they hadn't just write about him, they'd gone and besmirched his family's name. Questioning his father’s judgement, for he had chosen such a “reckless, blind-sighted” man to be his second. Accusing him of nepotism, as if all the work he had put into their family business was worth nothing.

They knew nothing.

He was careless, and now his family was paying the consequences. He should have known better than to trust her. People outside of his family were not to be trusted. She wanted part in his business, she never loved him. She only wanted something from him, as everyone else did.

As he walked down the street he noticed people were eyeing him. Some with curious glances, some with judgmental stares, whispering to each other. As if having his failed attempt at a relationship for everyone to see wasn’t enough humiliation. Others just parted to let him walk through, as usual.

He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice a woman with her arms full with grocery bags walking his way.

He only noticed her when he felt the collision, and saw the contents of her bags sprawl all over the floor.

"Hey! Watch where you're going?!"

The woman quickly lowered herself to the ground to pick her scattered objects.

He was slightly stunned by the woman's reaction, but he was already riled up from the article, and wasn't appreciating her tone.

"I'm not the one crashing blindly into strangers."

His rational side knew that it was probably his fault. He was distractedly walking by, ignoring his surroundings. But his pride, and the anger he was feeling at the moment wouldn't let this go.

The woman was crouched in the ground, long hair covering her face, reaching for the objects spilled across the ground in a quick manner, before they could get wet from the dampened floor and rain.

"You sure about that? Because there are a considerable amount of people who'd probably say otherwise."

Her otherwise silvery voice was laced with enmity, as he could hear her grumbling as she hastily reached for her groceries.

He then noticed some people were staring at their exchange with curious gazes. The last thing he needed right now was to create a scene.

He sighed frustratingly, and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He lowered himself to the ground to help her gather some of her scattered items.

" Let me help you." He half grumbled.

"I don't need your help."

For the first time in their whole discussion, she looked at him. He couldn't help but notice her delicate features. From her smooth skin, framed by her long hair, to her captivating eyes. And he couldn’t possibly ignore the way her dress hugged her curves. She was… truly mesmerizing.

Recognition flashed her eyes for a second. He noticed.

He expected her to start apologizing profusely, to see the shame in her gaze.

Instead, she kept a neutral expression, and kept reaching for her things. He was slightly surprised, but didn't let it show.

There were a lot of items dispersed in the ground, and the light drizzle was turning into full rain. He felt a pang of guilt, after all, it was kind of his fault, even if he wouldn't admit so aloud.

"Seriously, please let me help you."

He picked the item closest to him. He didn't realize what it was at first, but when he fixed his gaze down he noticed. It was a box of tampons. His eyes widened a bit, and he felt the blush in his cheeks start spreading.

"Uh..."

When she saw what he was holding, she quickly took the box from his hands, averting his gaze with a blush of her own.

Despite the embarrassment he felt, he kept collecting some of the items, until they were all gathered back in her bags.

He was the first to stand up. He stretched his hand to help her, but she just got up on her own, light annoyance in her expression. They stood there for a moment, neither of them saying anything. She broke the silence.

"Well... You're not expecting me to thank you, are you? You did kind of run into me."

Her gaze was intense. He wasn't one to shy away from eye contact, but the way she was looking at him almost made him want to look away. Almost.

"Well, no..." Though she had a point. What was he still standing there for? What exactly did he expect from her?

She gave a sardonic smile.

"You're probably used to it, aren't you?”

He gave her a confused look.

“Used to what?”

He responded, with a harsher tone than he intended.

“ People thanking you for the honor of the Tyril Starfury giving so much as a glance at them."

He was taken aback. No one had ever speak to him like that. No one. What irked him the most wasn’t her rudeness or condescendence. No. What irked the most was that she was telling truth.

For the first time in what felt like forever, he was speechless. He shook himself from his inability to conjure words, and found his composure again.

"I am not responsible for what people treat me like. I never asked for any kind of special treatment."

He felt like he was telling that to himself rather than her.

She arched an eyebrow.

"You're saying you don't like their adoration and brainless devotion?"

"I wouldn't say they adore me, as of now." He said sincerely, his mind going back to the article.

"And even if they did, I'm not particularly fond of 'brainless devotion' from strangers that don't really know me."

He was slightly astounded with himself. Why was he telling a stranger these things? He wasn't the type to share what was in his mind. But they way she treated him, so... unfamiliar to him, so challenging. Made him want to explain himself to her, like he had something to prove.

Her eyes widened a bit in realization.

"Ooh, you're talking about… the article?”

He couldn't help the angry thought that crossed his mind.

Oh, come on. Did everyone knew already?

He knew she was using the word article to avoid the subject of his fiancée. He couldn’t help but appreciate her discretion. By now, everyone just talked about it like it was their business.

"You read it?"

Despite the anger rising within him, he kept his tone emotionless.

"Not really, but it is hard to ignore when the media keeps buzzing about it. One would think there are far more important news than the family drama of Bruce Wayne 2.0"

He couldn't help but give a small smile at the comment. She had sense of humor.

"Yeah, one would think so."

He gave a rueful smile, his light blue eyes slightly tainted with disgrace and shame.

She noticed the slight change in his demeanor, and couldn't help but feel a bit bad for him. His entire private life exposed for the world to see. Under the constant judgment and scrutiny of the masses, all of them having a say on the way he handled himself and his life. Also, it probably wasn’t nice to find out your girlfriend is cheating on you by reading it on the tabloids.

She noticed the people looking at them, some even had the audacity to pull their phones out, as if they wanted to preserve this exchange and gossip about it.

“You people don’t have your own lives to get back to?! Get a move on!”

They quickly averted their gaze, and kept walking. Some of them kept grounded, but after one of her glares they kept moving.

When she looked back at Tyril he had an amused expression, mixed with something else she couldn’t pinpoint.

"You shouldn't listen to what they say, you know? " She blurted out before fully realizing what she was saying. She couldn't help but wanting to relieve some of that dark cloud looming over him.

He quirked an eyebrow.

"Didn't you just say is hard to ignore?"

"Well... yes. But one thing is to hear what they say, and listen to what they say. You said it yourself, these people don't know you. Not really. They just happen to know things about you. You shouldn't care what a bunch of strangers have to say about your private life."

Again, he was stunned. He wasn't used to people speaking to him in such a free manner. Usually their words were calculated, contrived, and most definitely expecting something in return from him.

Yet here she was, giving him a piece of her mind, giving him advice, without ulterior motives. He felt... confused, but in a good way. Her openness, and sympathetic look gave him the courage to respond.

"I usually don't. But this time they didn't just diminished me and… my situation. They brought my family into it... And all because of something stupid I did."

She could recognize the emotion in his eyes. Guilt. Shame.

She wasn't expecting Tyril Starfury to be so… sensible. From what she knew about him, and based on what she has seen in pictures, he was very serious, with a calculative cold demeanor. She was expecting him to be the stereotypical spoiled brat who didn’t think of anyone but himself. She was finding out how wrong she was.

" Does your family blame you for what happened? "

There was a sort of genuine curiosity in her voice tone, albeit to that morbid need to poke into his private life, like he had grown so used to.

"... No. They don't particularly enjoy being badmouthed like that, but they don't specifically blame me. More the situation itself. "

"Then you shouldn't either. Besides, it's likely they'll forget about this with the next 'important' big news. The media always will pick whatever is the 'juiciest' new information, even something trivial and banal. No. Especially something trivial and banal. So this too, shall pass."

He considered her words for a moment. There was truth to what she was saying. Even more so, it was the way she was saying them, in such a kind voice, a real contrast with the anger she showcased earlier. He still felt vexed by the situation, but was able to find a sliver of comfort in the stranger's words.

He offered her a small smile.

"... Thank you."

She gave him a grin in return.

" Don't mind it."

She smiled one more time at him, and went about her way.

He was left standing there. Dumbfounded, his brow slightly furrowed in a confused expression. He was impressed at how the beautiful, slightly rude stranger had lifted his spirits. Even more so, because she did it out of amiability. No hidden motives, or schemes like he was used to expect from people who weren’t his father and sister.

"Wait. What is your- "

He turned around, but she was already lost in the sea of people.

"... name."

He stood there for a moment longer, contemplative about the stranger, and her words.

He looked down at his watch, realizing he was going to be late. He shook himself out of his daze, and kept walking, rain pouring down on him as he went by.

_________________________________________

Author's note: This is the very first fic I ever publish. Pls be kind 🥺. Feedback is appreciated. I plan on maybe keep writing this as a series. If you'd like to be tagged please let me know. This fic was inspired on the art and prompts of lovely @lxdy-starfury.

Tag team: @tyril-nia-kaya @mytardisisparked @pencils-and-paperclips @choicesandanimeruleme