#gonna get my whole blog flagged i swear

[nientedal]

Ok, tumblr, you piece of shit, how about now? This still violate community guidelines? You fucking baby? You shambling, rotting husk of a 17+ webbed site? I'm gonna use your community label, that ok with you? Can I use the tool you have so helpfully provided for me to use, or is that not actually allowed? Look, I'm even putting it below a cut. The way I was already trying to do. Christ alive.

for the uncensored version, go fuck yourself, i guess.

[cocktailjjrs]

So......

Since I've been suffering with these angsty thoughts... i though i would invite you all suffer with me...

It's about Chuuya...

I was doing some research for my fic (mainly going through bsd novels, blogs, tags and all) and came across this one Insta post in passing (sorry, i don't remember the name).

It was about BSD's cycles.

First, cycle of abuse, going from Mori-Dazai-Aku-Kyouka

and Second of rescue, going from Natsume-Oda-Dazai-Atsushi-Kyouka.

And then they highlighted a third category, the one's who are not saved - including Chuuya, Aku and Q.

At that point i didn't think much about it, just another post while scrolling Insta.

But now it's keeps bothering me, a constant reminder, whenever i read something BSD.

And It's so heart wrenching.

It also hit me, Q and Aku can still be saved.

Q, while we don't exactly know where they are right now, there is a chance of them getting their own arc, backstory and then being saved.

Aku, while still in Mafia, his partnership with Atsushi is his saving grace already. He is making an effort to not kill, just for their deal/bet. By the end of it all, he will be in a better place than he is now.

But Chuuya. (Spoiler's for light novel's if you haven't read them)

I remember very clearly, when in Stormbringer (don't ask me why i remember this byheart), when Murase dies Chuuya says, "Hey Detective, Weren’t you gonna arrest me?! Weren’t you gonna bring me into the world of light"

Don't get me wrong, I still believe Chuuya belongs to Port Mafia, the darkness suits him better than light.

But that does not mean he never wanted to get out of that darkness. This one instance in SB was proof enough. Makes me wonder, if things had gone even slightly differently, would he be in a better place than he is now? Is there still a chance?

What's even more tragic is that after the whole SB thing, no one seemed stick around enough to help him fight his own demons.

And he definitely has MASSIVE DEMONS.

His whole life seems to be one catastrophe after another! Don't believe me?

His first group, whom he called friends, betrayed him. Classic stabbed by poisonous knife in the back.

Hardly a year later, his second friends group, Flags, was killed by an emotionally unstable man-child seeking validation, insisting on calling him brother.

He went through a horrid ordeal, having to learn he was a lab experiment, seeing your clone vaporise to nothing but bones in your own arms, having to fight those same bones. And as if this was not enough, then fighting the monstrosity of a singularity and in process loosing the only chance to determine your humanity. (Actually whole of SB is dreadful, i don't think it'll ever get worse than that - i really hope it doesn't)

Then, given by the timeline, another year later, his third group of friends was killed by Shibusawa.

And again a year later - his partner, who brought him in all this madness, just fucking leaves without a word. This is the least tragic thing that has happened to the boy, i swear.

And I'm sure it didn't end there.

There must have been so many things going on behind the scenes in those missing years, hell even after the series began, Chuuya has been out of scene because something or the other was going on.

Now you have Fyodor fucking shit up for no apparent reason. With this shitshow, many mafia men, some of whom Chuuya might have developed a relation, are definitely dead. Not to mention the mental gymnastics going to trying to at least be on the same fucking chapter as the two geniuses.

AND ALL OF THIS IS JUST IN THE CURRENT TIMELINE. Don't get me started on BEAST VERSE!!! (That's a can of worms I'm really not ready to open at this point)

The thing with Mentally strong individuals is, they have abnormally high emotional intelligence, they are unnaturally resilient, they can compartmentalize their grief, they empathise with great deal of people, think rationally at any given point and think of ways to make things better.

What many people fail to understand is that no one is born Mentally strong, it's the circumstances that make them as such.

It can happen even through small things.

No one being there for you to express your deepest fears. No one just listening to you, even if they have a solution to your problem. Or having seen other's nightmares come to reality and feeling your own are much smaller, or having made to fell that way.

It creates the mentality of never sharing your fears, your insecurities, your discomfort - because at the back of the mind you keep telling yourself - oh, this person has gone through so much more than i have, my fear is nothing compared to it. I can handle it on my own, they have their own problems to handle. Everyone is busy, i don't think they have time to listen to the same problem I've been facing for years now. I've manages so far, i think I can manager just fine.

You start to undervalue your own feelings and start to fell like you'll burden them. Start to feel like you NEED to handle it on your own.

Now, i don't want to go into a spiral of mental health, but when you look at Chuuya, you can't help but marvel at that kids Mental resolution.

His first action after being stabbed in back was to make a deal with a demon to make sure he doesn't harm them, because they are just kids.

His first reaction to being provoked into revenge was to say Fuck off to his manipulator, not falling for the temptation and doing what he felt right.

He even forgave the killer of his friends (And also the one who tried to kill him) for gods sake! Understanding what he was going through.

He even walked away after knowing his parents are alive (oh the irony) not wanting to put a target on them. (I'm actually on fence with this, the chances of it being a manipulation tactic from Mori is just as high as it being the truth)

He had tremendous mental fortitude.

But you still see the cracks in his emotional state,

He was desperate to know if he was human or not, inclining towards the later.

He didn't know, that your friends can do some nice things without expecting anything in return. They can go above and beyond your regular stuff just because they are your friends, there doesn't need to be of anything at stake in friendship.

Hell, there was a point he believed having a Heart was too sophisticated for him, that he can't be that human!

I can go hours and hours about this.

What i can say for sure is, he has demons in all sizes, shapes and forms, something that he has stuffed in his closet only to deal with them himself, not letting them see the light of the day.

i just don't see anyone actually being there for him long enough for him to trust them fully with his demons.

No, not even Dazai. Dazai himself was a walking cry for help, like hell Chuuya is adding to that pile. He may have found a constant in Dazai in three years, seeing as all other's met their end in one. I believe in those three years, somewhere Soukoku began to feel like his safe place, somewhere he didn't had to think about his demons only by the virtue of dealing with one made of flesh and bones. But then even Dazai left.

I don't think even Kouyou was there for most part. And considering her obsession with a flowers of dark with Kyouka, i think it pulled Chuuya more in her own tragedy. Afterall, she also was never saved.

Mori is there, but Mori is a Demon in his own rights. What we've seen is their interactions have been those of a boss and his close confidents, nothing personal or emotional. Which also makes sense when you think of Mori's theory of running an organization. Chuuya, all things considered, the most powerful member of PM and he is treated as such.

The other significant members of PM, the guerrilla squad, black lizards or Kajji - all of them may know him better than most, but he is still their executive. If a 15 and younger kid took the title of being a protector of his rag-tag group seriously, being a responsible and dependable executive comes with higher stakes. He will carry out his role as one, even if it's the last thing he does.

.

.

.

That was me rambling.

My point is, i wanna give Chuuya a big hug, tell him it's okay to fell tried sometimes. To let himself be vulnerable. That his fears are not invalid. That he is not invalid. That he isn't the problem, never was.

That he will still be valued and wanted, even if he one day looses his ability or he is no longer the strongest.

Can someone please save his boy?

[6okuto]

Can I say I absolutely adore your headcanons for our lovely Touchstarved LI’s!! If it’s not too much trouble. May I ask for more Leander HCs? 🥺👉👈

GENERAL LEANDER HCS

gn!reader | (small leander hcs post) THANK U!!!! that means a lot 🙁🤍 and Yes. Always. red flags don't scare me. they don't even say BOO! like come on

casual physical touch. his arm wrapping around your shoulders while you're sitting down together, subconsciously pulling you closer when either of you laugh, playing with your hands while you talk about your plans for the day (he promises he's paying attention)

"oh, sure!" is just his general reaction to you asking for physical affection. "of course!" with a smile, "c'mere." with his arms open wide, etc. this guy really like(d/s) when you hold his face

does the thing where he puts his arm behind your headrest while he's backing up the car. yes he's extremely aware of what he's doing. maybe if you weren't forcing yourself to stare straight ahead you'd notice his amused smirk when his eyes flicker over to you

you tell him about your birthday?? he's gonna tell you he'll be the first one to say happy birthday. you think he's joking because of his tone but he's serious

you are legally allowed to do whatever you want and bring him anywhere for your birthday. i'm saying this as if leander wouldn't do anything you said you wanted to do any other day but like it's a Whole day of him being available you know.

attempts to make a personalized drink for you. Attempts... you know what if it turns out good he'd ask for name ideas. says logically it should be something inspired by you somehow

will see you working at a table and quietly come up from behind to hug you. rests his chin on your shoulder and asks what you're working on, humming and asking questions while you explain

if he notices you're stressed he starts massaging your shoulders without you asking and asks if he can do anything to help

"only sings when he's alone" ? Not Anymore. Not On My Blog. ask him to sing you to sleep and he'll let you pick a song as if he hasn't noted your favourite ones already. sing a duet for karaoke. let him woo you

would dance with you if you stopped to watch a street performer. nothing extravagant or anything, especially if you'd be embarrassed, but he might spin you once and sway. makes sure to drop some change for the performer of course

type of guy to drop whatever he's holding if he sees you running toward him so he can catch you. perhaps does a little spin while he laughs.

holds your hand in his pocket when it's cold :)

makes sure you're tucked in properly if he finds you asleep. kisses your forehead before either quietly walking away or joining you in bed

not awesome at taking photos of you but he can be taught i swear. i think he'd like to try out a photo booth though...makes sure to kiss you for one of the photos

??? unrelated to you,, he looks like he'd try to get everyone else into a photo booth after you do it. because.. friendship? brother... he asks if they want to use one of the silly photo booth filters/themes

he'd have a special ringtone for you. also he looks like he uses emojis. like unironically . Like 😯😞😓😊

[intrepidacious]

time after time: reread edition [1]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 6.0k

chapter warnings: canon-typical violence, accidentally starting a time loop, banter, pretty angsty to start us off with ngl, reminder to read the fic premise. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

read the full chapter here | series masterlist | reread masterlist

wouldn't you know it, it's friday already!! this is a reread of already published chapters, so if you're new to this story, i would highly suggest not starting here and reading the actual story first. please be aware that by clicking the read more you're gonna see spoilers for chapter one 💚

how it started

welcome to the reread. i'm pretty sure this is the part of the post i'll only do once, but we'll see how it goes.

i swear to god, i only wanted to write a fun little time loop fic. it was never supposed to be this huge thing; it just kept growing. it's two years later now and i'm still writing—granted, that's after taking several long breaks because this story gives me headaches like no other, but still. i've never poured this much love into one story, i think.

and we can all blame russian doll for it.

turn back the clock – tl;dr

we start with a mission. sam, bucky and the reader, soon-to-be nicknamed twelve, are checking up on a secret lab. against all odds, bucky gets killed right before the fight seems to be won. twelve uses her time powers to prevent this from happening, loses consciousness and wakes up in her bed earlier that day. she goes through the entire day again, thinking her reset worked as intended, only for bucky to die in a different situation during the same mission and her waking up in her bed again.

behind the loop

welcome to my first running commentary on my own story. you’re gonna be sick of me really soon.

depending on how new you are to this story, you might not know that the chapter titles are all taken from movies. sadly i haven't seen most of them but the ones i have seen do feature a little in one way or another. more about that when we get to that point, though. the title cards for this story were also so fun to make because i just recoloured the actual movie posters!!

i’m gonna be honest with you, i keep forgetting that this first flashback exists. but i lowkey love it?? i like how it sets the tone for the angst that’s stitched into the very fabric of this story while simultaneously being juxtaposed with the first actual, very blunt introduction of our main cast.

the start of that mission was one of the first things i ever wrote for this fic, but the whole transition from the upstairs lab to downstairs and the actual fight scene were the last parts before posting.

“Do you think I’d pass up the opportunity to hear the two of you scream in terror when the vampire puppets creep up on you?” “Gotta disappoint you, cap,” you grin and wait for him to check the map. “I only scream when there’s good reason.” “I don’t wanna interrupt,” Bucky interrupts over the intercom, “but they’re heading your way now, so get a move on.”

writing banter is one of my all-time favourite activities. i also already knew at this point that i was gonna write a lot of it over and over again, and so i needed to vary the interjections in order to not bore everyone to bits. i like to think it worked out, but you tell me.

my beloved nightmare flashmob was such a fun antagonist to include. they will be named in the next chapter but if there are comic readers among you, i feel like i have to apologise because i definitely haven’t read enough of them to properly do these guys justice. they did seem like a logical step up from the version of the flag smasher(s) we encountered in tfatws, though. plus, there’s just enough of them to be a realistic threat to three very capable superheroes.

And then his eyes glaze over. You scream.

i’m so evil lmao

You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.

spoiler alert, you’ll encounter that sentence a couple of times. and i still love it. fun fact, i genuinely set my playlist to shuffle to decide on the song that was going to play to wake her up, and this was the one i landed on. and i couldn’t have come up with a better choice. honestly, look at the lyrics and tell me i’m wrong. i love how things work out sometimes.

originally, the decision to set the story on july 4th was very practical because i needed my available settings to be limited. this isn’t punxsutawney, pennsylvania in the middle of a snowstorm, this is new york city after the blip. i wanted our characters to have at least somewhat limited options what to do during their ever-repeating day. (on a sidenote, do you think we’ll ever see avengers compound again in the mcu? how long are they going to rebuild that thing? anyway.)

“Feels a little … déjà-vu-y.” “I know the type,” Sam says. “Wanna talk about it?” You do. But the time stuff is your problem to deal with, and so you shake your head.

isn’t it great to have a full ensemble of characters who absolutely will not talk about their feelings to each other? (derogatory) is it more interesting from a narrative point of view? … i suppose.

i love twelve’s rings though. are they entirely useless for the duration of this loop? maybe. but i love that she has them to physically show her how stuck she is <3 other things that i love: bucky calling sam bud. it just makes sense.

A surge of emptiness goes through you, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Time seems to still for just the blink of an eye as Bucky’s head is thrown forwards.

and there we have it. ✨dread.✨ this is such an evil way to end a chapter, wow. i had fun, though. was it fun for you?

how it's going

well, actually. i've been writing chapter seven as well as a secret bonus chapter this week, and i've made reasonable progress on both which i'm quite proud of. i really hope i can report that i got started on chapter eight this time next week, but we'll see. i think the worst of my writer's block is gone, at least. and all it took was a little self-indulgence and an external deadline. who'd have thunk.

if you made it to this point of my rambles, thank you. lmk how i can keep these interesting for you to read, and if you have any questions about the story, you know where to find me!! also: please please please consider leaving a comment or a reblog on the actual chapter. it would mean the world 💚

[natjennie]

I posted 11,501 times in 2022

2,068 posts created (18%)

9,433 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@parotcardsroxy

@horsebeckett

@monster-noises

@blackbeardskneebrace

@transgenderpirate

I tagged 4,479 of my posts in 2022

#ofmd - 1,097 posts

#wwdits - 407 posts

#d20 - 243 posts

#our flag means death - 163 posts

#wwdits 2014 - 127 posts

#nandor wwdits - 102 posts

#taika waititi - 92 posts

#edcore - 85 posts

#drawfee - 84 posts

#viago wwdits - 77 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#gorgug handshake meme me. autistic. has a hard time knowing when you're supposed to talk. confused always. says sorry after everything.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

that stupid fuckign red piece of silk is gonna make its way to stede i swear to god. the logic in this show doesnt make sense we know it doesnt. its possible. ed just threw it out into the wind. stedes gonna fish it out of the ocean with his oar and Know that he needs to get back because something is wrong. he's gonna dry it out and press it and do tiny little needlework repairs on it and fold it neatly back into a pocket square for ed, taking care of his washed up, thrown away little heart and making it whole again. not because ed asked him to but because he wants to. and ed's gonna see that people care about him, even after everything he's done. and it's gonna be okay again.

12,649 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#4

tracy chapman really unlocked something with fast car. you cant listen to fast car without Feeling. every person who has ever and will ever listen to fast car has felt the same feeling as every other person who has or will listen to it. fast car is an experience. it should be listed in the dsm5. felt too much while listening to fast car.

17,457 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

its actually kind of funny to think about the fact that stede didnt know he was gay. because bestie ur whole crew is. im like 98% sure lucius has tried to suck stede's dick at least once. everyone's limp wristing all over the place. you're flying pride flags baby. queer people flock to each other. who else is "uncomfortable in a married state" and leaves their rich wife and kids to be a pirate. literally only gay people. what did you THINK you were doing stede.

26,976 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

#2

presented without comment.

38,078 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

love the way david jenkins refuses to apologize for shit just not making sense. how do they get places so quickly? doesnt matter. why is ed wearing full leather wouldnt he be sweating like hell? oh yeah it'd be awful to be a pirate in that, but it's hot, next question. he does not hesitate to just be like. eh who gives a shit. they're in love, who cares about how the boat got there. it's all fake anyway. here watch taika and rhys kiss.

51,946 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wanderingrain]

Blogging through Till the World Ends Ep 6

Aww not domestic gangster boyfriend.

Oh ok we're just gonna loudly make out on the couch behind little sister's back.

I cannot take P'Joke's eyepatch seriously I'm sorry

If she says this meat is the dog🐕 I swear

She's totally going to vgyrdchjoyrdd

oh no we're hinting it's human

Oh ok we're not hinting.

They're grossed out but not as much as you would expect them to be. Your little sister makes you eat human and you're only a little bit grossed out? Not even enough to be disgusted? What even is this gang? Lol

I've said it before, There is literally no way to explain away Golf hitting Art with the guitar. "I just got so angry" Major red flag my dude. "I thought you were trying to steal my girlfriend. " Major red flag my dude. I feel like this whole premise only really works because they're going to die (maybe) in 4 days. Like there is no way this relationship can survive long term unless they both get a lot of therapy. But short term? We're all gonna die anyway my dudes. ┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌

"I didn't mean it. " Dude it was clearly premeditated. I think you mean "if I knew you then like I do now I wouldn't have done it" which is still a Major red flag my dude.

well if these aren't the consequences of my own actions

Brother cuddllllleeees

I sense some BS advice coming from Jae

"it depends on the relationship." Jae he literally assaulted me.

"How many people have you hurt?" Jae there is a huge glaring difference here in that I (Art) never assaulted anyone.

Ugh where's the crack. Give me the crack back.

Jae's HUSBAND CHEATED ON HER??

SHE CHEATED TOO??

What is this all of a sudden???

This is so much worse advice than I thought it would be!!

"Golf didn't have bad intentions" HE BASHED SOMEONE OVER THE HEAD WITH A GUITAR!!

I knew they would pull out some stupid excuse to get Golf and Art back together but I thought it would Art least be funny!!?? Not this "sometimes you just have to let the person you love hurt you" crap.

This is so toxic please. This is Love Mechanics levels of toxic. Except this show doesn't have romanticized SA. (Crossing my fingers)

You know how when you talk to older women and they're like "oh yeah I waited on my husband hand and foot. He's just so tired after work you know? But boy was it difficult to cook with 7 children under foot but you learn to manage it!" And they treat men like they're basically one of the children they have to take care of and expect the younger generations to do the same? Yeah that's the feeling I'm getting from this conversation.

Before this conversation happened I was prepared to say "aww adopted mother cuddllleees" but now I'm too upset with Jae 😕

wow I just got an ad for a movie called "women talking" that looks like it's about what I was literally just talking about. 😨

I'm so glad they cast actors who can cry. It's always so awkward when they're clearly trying but can't.

Dude stop calling his name and just spit it out!! He's clearly here to listen!! This is Lovely Writer all over again where he was given ample time to explain and just stood there in silence!

Is he showing Art the video he took where he tried to unalive himself?? That's like emotional blackmail? What the heck

Your excuse is "if I'd wanted to kill you I wouldn't have helped you" ?? See this is the good crack! Take everything else away and just say the most absurd thing possible!

CAN I SMACK YOU BACK?? YES ART GET HIM!!

Oh

I see you looking at his lips Art. I see you

Lol not P'Gus and Jae falling into the room! Not them just continuing to lay there instead of jumping apart. Finally the crack is back!

Is this wedding foreshadowing?

He is not about to propose. They just got back together. Have they even kissed yet? I don't think they have.

No he is oh jeez. I have no words.

I don't know how I feel about this but the world is ending in 4 days so sure why not if it's that important to you.

Can't believe this is their first- oh ok nevermind.

Lol trying to use a Pomeranian to follow a scent.

The way the dog just FLOPS onto the ground!! This is the good stuff.

Oh no what is this awkwardness?

More Christmas🎄 music!!

It's not complete because you didn't kiss, Art. Duh

They're not even lining up correctly this kiss ain't gonna happen.

Yup there it is

crying on the floor what was that sneeze ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That wasn't supposed to happen was it. That was a real sneeze and they all just acted past it. I love these moments in amateur shows so much.

Is this the first time we've seen Jae with her hair down? Besides the wedding?

They're acting like she's so old lol. She's not even hobbling on her feet and they're acting like she's on death's door.

Aww is sweet that they're all crying

uh oh not the gang approaching.

I'm not really sure why I exchanged "babes" for "my dude" in this one but I did so... ┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌ I can't believe our boys got married and they still haven't even kissed yet.

So I thought before that one of the gang members was going to be Art's little brother, but that was before I realized that P'Long wasn't actually a new recruit and that both of the guys were older than bubblegum. (Have they ever even said her name btw? Cause I haven't noticed.) I'm sure his brother will come up somehow though. They wouldn't have brought him up if he wasn't going to appear at some point.

Are we working off the assumption that anyone inside a bunker when the moon hits the earth will survive? Because I've been thinking this whole time that it's a kind of false comfort situation. Like there's nothing anyone can do to stop the mass extinction of humanity but we need to at least seem like we're doing something.

I've kinda just been assuming everyone's going to die at the end which definitely contributes to me not taking things as seriously. Nothing really matters if all our characters are just going to die, no need to get too attached to them. ┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌ I'm really just here to have fun.

On to episode 7 and maybe the start of a new adventure outside the dorm?

[not-enough-teeth-and-treasures]

An Autistic’s Perspective on Tears of Themis’ Representation (spoiler alert: it’s bad)

Before you read, I should warn you that there will be spoilers for Chapter Five! Read at your own risk. Also, trigger warning for discussions of ableism and harmful disablility stereotypes. I get pretty heated as well, so if you’re not a fan of swearing and stuff, then it might be best to skip this.

So, I was debating whether or not I wanted to talk about this, mostly because this game doesn’t do anything new in regards to the perception of autism in media. Unfortunately, it ends up leaning into a lot of not great tropes and goes into “what the fuck that’s incredibly offensive territory” waaay to quickly. So here I am.

The most prevelant character with autism (or who we start out thinking has autism. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that) is a small, supergenius child (a boy as well *sigh*) is so overdone at this point that there aren’t many new criticisms I can say. The stereotype of autism presented in media is overwhelmingly extremely intelligent (usually with sciency or math based interests) men with no ability to socialize or be kind to others. This not only paints autism as a disability that effects men primarily (which creates intense stigma around AFAB autistic people and makes it harder for us to get diagnosed or believed), but also creates this expectation of greatness. Autistic people are often held to superhuman standards, which further others and dehumanizes us in the eyes of allistic people. The vast majority of autistic people are not savants, and that it perfectly fine.

But all of this is pretty standard. The red flags started popping up when it was revealed that the autistic kid, Hugh, doesn’t actually have autism and is faking it in order to keep people from asking hard questions about him or trying to pry into his life (which is full of secrets). I’m definitely not a fan of perpetuating the idea that people fake diabilities in order to manipulate people, so this plot twist was not my favorite. However, it wasn’t really enough to inspire me to write a whole ass essay about the representation. And then I got to the fucking text conversation with Vyn.

Here is where I’m gonna put a trigger warning for talk about eugenics, curing autism, ableism, and basically just a fuck ton of awful shit. Fuck, this makes me so mad.

So, I went in and took screenshots of both options just to see, and all of them lead to terrible bullshit. Lets start out pretty light with the MC and Vyn discussing symptoms.

This is a pretty limited and honestly incomplete explanation of autistic behaviors. These can definitely be symptoms, but they’re heavily overcovered and really basic. A lot of autistic people don’t have these symptoms, and it would be really nice if more media branched out and covered more of the spectrum. However, considering they don’t do anything different in any other areas, I’m not surprised.

Also not a fan of Vyn’s use of “abnormal.” It has some very negative connotations and is a bit insulting, honestly. These behaviors are perfectly “normal;” they’re just not as accepted by neurotypical people. Plus, no behaviors can really be labeled as normal because humans are complex and different.

That was the easy shit. Let’s get into the truly awful garbage.

This is treading into ABA territory here. For those of you who are unaware, ABA is pushed as the best autistic therapy, but a large majority of autistic adults consider it to be abusive and unhelpful. This is mainly because it seeks to “correct” many behaviors that are helpful for autistic people. It seeks to surpress stims (which are behaviors that improve the mental health of autistic children), force us to talk (as opposed to letting us use sign language and technology), and more. This harms our mental health and makes us ashamed of who we are. These behaviors do not need to be “corrected.” We don’t need to act “normally.” All this therapy does is make us more palitable for neurotypical people, and it’s bullshit.

It also doesn’t help that ABA was pioneered by Ivar Lovaas, a man who did not believe autistic people were human. He developed ABA as a way to “build a person” using harsh punishments such as withholding affection and ELECTRIC SHOCKS. If you think this is a think of the past, you’d be wrong. Electric shocks are still being used to harm disabled people. Look up the hashtag #StopTheShock to learn more and help push for legislation that bans this practice.

Oh, and did I mention Ivar Lovaas also inspired gay conversion therapy? Because he did! So yeah, fuck ABA and fuck Vyn for performing it (god damn it, Vyn, I liked you a lot).

And now, onto the eugenics. Fuck my life.

FUCK! THIS! BULLSHIT!

I am so tired of autism being treated as this horrific disease that needs a cure. I had a perfectly fine childhood. Yes, it was hard at times, yes I got traumatized, but a large part of that was due to ableism and abuse from teachers and peers. A large reason why autistic people suffer is because the world is not built for us, and we are often denied accommodations that would make our lives better.

It is beyond offensive and disgusting to suggest that we would be better off not existing than “suffering so much” because of autism. Because that is what this game and everyone else who thinks there should be a cure is suggesting. There is no me without autism. it literally affects my brain structure. You are wishing for a completely different person when you tell me that autism should be cured.

Now, I’m not going to get into the horrible consent issues that arise from talks about a cure, including genetic editing, fear mongering to parents so they think abortion is the only option, and straight up Nazi style eugenics. I do not have the spoons to delve into that exhausting discussion. But if you want to know more, then there are so many incredible autistic people who have written blogs, Twitter threads, and more about why a cure is a terrible idea.

Oh, and if you’re going to come at me with the “severely autistic people should be cured” bullshit, don’t bother. There is no such thing as “severe” autism, first of all, and second, non verbal autistic people (which are who people think of when they talk about “severe” autism), largely don’t want a cure. There have been so many surveys of tens of thousands of autistic people, and the result is that the overwhelming majority do not want to be cured. We want support and proper accommodations. Listen to us.

So, in conclusion, fuck this text conversation and it’s ableist and offensive bullshit. I really wish ToT had stayed away from autism, or at the very least did not touch on therapy or a possible cure. For a game that is about genetic experimentation on children and how bad that is, it sure peddles a lot of eugenics.

Fuck, this text conversation actually made me ill and I hate that. I’m so done with constantly trying to prove to the world that I am a human being who deserves to exist. I’m gonna go cuddle my service dog now.

[firelxdykatara]

not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)

oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just

i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)

first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.

i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.

(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)

i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”

i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)

there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.

shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.

and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.

it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.

they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess

another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).

meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.

and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.

uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.

[belliesandburps]

Post-Stuffing Dialogue

Recently, I saw a post being re-blogged that got me thinking about my favorite stuffing scenarios.  One thing I absolutely adore that I think doesn’t get enough focus on from enough kink-fic writers is the way a big eater / feedee reacts to being stuffed to the brim.  And there are a whole slew of different degrees of fullness for that too.  And because it’s been a minute since my last one of these, I thought, “why not?”

So, here’s a bit of post-stuffing dialogue for various degrees of fullness designed to fluster, trigger, and all that beautiful baked-bean footage.  :P

Realistic Bloat Post-Stuffing

The Big Eater’s belly is noticeably bloated; gut protruding out and pushing from beneath their shirt, but it’s a reasonable bloat.  Maybe their pants are unbuttoned and their belt unbuckled, but otherwise, their shirt is still just barely concealing their distended stomach:

“BRUUUAAAARRRRP!!!  Phew!  Man, now THAT was a meal!”  (grins and pats his belly heartily with satisfaction)

“Oh man, I’m STUFFED...” (leans back and tenderly rubs his belly)

(rests both hands atop his stomach) “Ahhhh, that hit the spot...”

(unbuttons belt and slouches back, sighing happily as their gut pushes out a bit more)

(scratches the back of his head sheepishly) “H-heh, guess I was hungrier than I thought...”

(rubs his belly with both hands and smacks his chops) “Mmmm, so good...”

(scratches his bloated sides idly) “So, what’s for dessert?”

“Pfft, you kiddin’?!”  (gives his belly a couple of resounding slaps) “This bad boy ain’t even CLOSE to full yet!”

(grins cheekily and arches his back while pulling his shirt up to rub his bare, taut belly slowly with one hand) “Heh, admirin’ your work...?”

Hefty Bloat Post-Stuffing

The Big Eater’s belly is pushing out by almost two or so feet, making it appear as if they swallowed a basketball.  Their belly is deeply bloated, hiking up their shirt, unzipping their pants, and burbling quite audibly.  This is around the part where they start to flag and are really feeling it, but CAN still be goaded into continuing:

(massages his really full belly with both hands) “Oh man, I seriously can’t eat another bite...”

“Urf...so full...” (slowly running both his hands up and down his bulging belly)

“Mph, hey, I ain’t finished!  I just gottaaaaAaAaaUUUUUURRRP!-mph, (thumps his chest and works up a smaller burp) j-just gotta catch my breath is all...”

“Ungh, dude, I dunno...I’m...whew...man, I’m full...” (one arm dangles from his side while the other slowly rubs his aching belly all over)

“BWWUUUUUURRROOOOORRRUUUUUUHHP!!!!!!  Urrrgh...”

“Ohhhhh, man, I feel like I’m gonna burst...” (slaps one hand atop his ample belly, groaning miserably)

(arches his back to make his bulging belly jut out some more)  “Nngh, would’ja rub my tummy...? (gives puppy-dog eyes) Pleeeeeaaaase...?”

“Urgh, mph, I dunno, man...if I’m gonna eat more, I might need a lil help...” (slaps his round belly contently)

“Orf, mph, okay, I...” (brings a fist to his mouth to hold a burp back, looking green) “...if I eat anymore, I’m gonna puke, I swear to God...”

(contently rubs his ballooned belly all over) “Mmmm, nice...”

(tenderly caresses his bulging belly, tracing his finger right around his bellybutton) “Mmmm, stiiiiiill feels like there’s room for more...whadduya think, hmmmm...?”

Uncomfortably Stuffed Bloated Post-Stuffing

The Big Eater’s belly is so big that it’s now spreading their thighs apart.  It’s big, making them appear ALMOST nine months pregnant, only their belly is a little bottom heavy, sloshing and jiggling heartily, and noisier than a chemical plant:

“Grruuuuuuuuhhhh...” (groans weakly, tenderly rubbing their massive gut with both hands)

“BRRAAAAAUUURRRRAAAAHH-UUUUUUUUUHHHHP!!!!!!!”

“Hooooooly shit...haaah...haah...” (huffs and gasps breathlessly)

“...Ohhhhhh, my belly...” (whines and groans, cradling as much of their domed out belly as he they can)

“*HIC!*  Guh...I’ve...I’ve made a mistake...”

“Urrrgh...I feel like a beached whale...”

“Mph, jeez...lookit this thing...” (grunts and heaves his belly up before letting it bounce back into place, dislodging a colossal belch in the process)

“Oorgh...I’ve never been so full in my life...” (slowly caresses his massive belly with both hands; palms sinking a little into their much softer, sloshier flesh)

“BrrreeeEEEEUUUuuurrr-uur-AAAAAAAARRRRRRP!!!!!!  Guuuh...“

“Urruuuhp...HuuuuaaaAARRROORRP!!  BWOOOOORRR-HOOOOOOOORRRRRROOOOOOP!!!!!!” (belches repeatedly, each burp getting progressively bigger until, with a hearty slap to his belly, he lets out a titanic belch to dislodge the much needed pressure pocket) “...Gruuuuhhhh, hoooooly shit, did I need that...”

[whatiwillsay]

Cammy I swear to God I'm not trolling but I really wanna know why is using rainbows or colors of LGBTQ flags queer baiting? And I'm just asking but the LGBTQ community is a minority compared to the hetties so how is taylor supposedly queer baiting gonna make her more money? Targeting a small demographic in comparison to the general public isn't the best business strategy imo, can you explain this or link me?

I hope you have a nice day and I'm sorry you had to read some nasty comments or asks, you are sweet and I love your blog, all the love my dear ❤️.

there is a lot of discourse about what is queer baiting vs idk rainbow capitalism vs gay cultural appropriation and i am not the expert opinion nor do i really care about the semantics of the argument - it all bundles up to me as “straight people or businesses run by straight people abusing gay stuff to make money/profit/drum up press without doing proper allyship or anything to help gay people (and it’s case by case some people may do allyship well and still cross a line)”

imo (that stands for in my opinion meaning this is my opinion and not something i’m stating as a fact for anyone who is confused about that - i do say it quite a lot) she’s queer herself so she isn’t REALLY doing any of it.

however it’s VERY profitable to woke and gay friendly (in the right way) in the states and taylor didnt just wear pride colors. taylor spent the entire lover era using gay imagery to promote the album. imo (see above) that’s fine because she’s some brand of gay. however if she were straight it would be a fine line she’d need to walk.

straight people waving a pride flag, taking part in pride, or even leaning on gay culture to express themselves is FINE of course. but if they’re going to enter queer spaces and make themselves the center of queer imagery and conversation they need to do it respectfully and carefully. they need to walk a fine line and be ready to put their asses on the line for us, speak up for us, and leverage their power and privilege into support for us.

yntcd is clumsy at best and offensive at worst. taylor compares hate she gets on twitter to actual violent homophobia, claims that shade never made anybody less gay - if she’s straight how would she know? “shade” (homophobia) literally can make gay people hide away, closet themselves for their entire lives, kill themselves or leads them to be killed so yeah it does make people less gay… now if she’s gay and that’s her personal experience great. if she’s straight that line is… not something i personally want to hear from someone with straight privilege - likens being poor and country to being homophobic when many gay people most harmed by institutionalized and systematic homophobia are poor and from rural areas, and aligns herself with queer people being picketed by homophobes. all of that, if she is straight is just… ew. straight people do not get to insert themselves into the conversation like that, at least not without some criticism. however since it is my opinion that yntcd is taylor’s personal experience and musing about dealing with hate and homophobia as a fellow queer person then i say “ok. fair enough. i can’t deny your personal experiences.” so it’s not really that she wore a pride flag on her head or had some queer people in her music video it’s the whole package.

and ofc that’s just a single music video! the entire lover era is chock full of gay winks, nudges, and moments and every time she did that she would get a press bump as journalists all rushed to write articles (all ofc mentioning lover - out this summer!) talking about taylor and what she’s up to with her gay little winks. and she sold records from it. and merch. and promo’d her line with stella. and sold concert tickets. and prompted spotify streams. she probably made millions off each “me! out now!” on lesbian visibility day and bi pride bracelet ig post that happened. and since i believe (believe but don’t know for sure) that she is queer i’m fine with that. queer people should be able to leverage their queerness and queer experiences and queer imagery and culture for profit. but imo straight people should not. they should be able to proudly show their support but they should not profit off of our imagery.

now let me add a disclaimer that i’m not a queer studies professor or a sociologist. these are just my opinions. i’m not saying taylor ever queerbaited or that any one individual can. i don’t mean that word when i say “profit off us” since i know that queerbaiting is a different thing. i’m just trying to respond to anon with my thoughts on taylor’s use of queer imagery during the lover era - not divulge into a semantics based argument.

[bottlecaprabbitgames]

Finally someone who shares my hate towards the COG forums, I have never been able to forget the time that some dude was only interested in the kid from SOH and not only did the mods did nothing about the clear pedophilic behavior that kid route was later confirmed that it was indeed going to be added in later books or that time when cis straight men quite literally were boycotting the drag star tread because they weren't the target audience anymore, like I love their games but my god do I hate the mods, they just seem to tolerate a lot of homophobia, transphobia and misogyny when LGBTQ+ people and women are their main demography.

BIG RANT INCOMING (Also, y’all if we disappear from the forums it’s absolutely bc we were banned given uhhhh they watch our blog LMAO)

BRO THE WHOLE PPL WANTING TO FUCK THE KID IN SOH AND THE 17 YR OLD IN THE ZOMBIE GAME... AND YET??? DO THE MODS DO A THING? NO. I’m FR I’m glad I haven’t fully introduced Lori in WCA fully aside from a small snippet because she’s like 10 and I swear to god if one person so much as makes a slight indication that they want her as an RO later... Oh, also, it’s not just men! I’ve seen plenty of women wanting it too,especially one very common user who’s name I can’t really list here. But it’s not just men :)))

Also, I didn’t fully hear about that, just that cis men were whining about the drag star game. You probably weren’t here to see it, but when Faye first dropped Dragon Pact, cis men were TOXIC on our thread to the point the first DP thread was locked and a second was put up that’s heavily moderated it was so bad. Also... we then had cis men telling us we were overreacting here and that it wasn’t ‘toxic’ it was just “harsh criticism”. Like, OK I GUESS LMAO.

Also, yes, the fact that they tolerate so much bigotry towards the community they supposedly try to “include” when they can is just absolutely unbelievable. Also, the misogyny, the sexism, just EVERYTHING they allow on there that dehumanizes and harms their major demographics, INCLUDING MINORS. Like, yes, lets let these gross ass people sexualize children!!! Because that’s okay and fine and everything. ALSO, WHY IS THERE TWO WOMEN WRITING MLM HEARTS CHOICE STORIES??? RED FLAGS, RED FLAGS, COG YOU HAVE RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!!! Like, it isn’t gonna be lack of pay for non-COG writers, it’s not gonna be the decline in popularity of IFs that’ll kill COG, it’s gonna be that they breed such a toxic community that eventually it’s going to drive out any decent people lingering around!!! And the only ones to blame is themselves for it!!!

Plus, the business dealings are so bad, not just talking about the forum goers now, the business setup is straight fucked. I was told directly that the reason HG writers get the same royalties as COG writers (minus y’know, the like $7500 or $10,000 COG writers get in advance while writing :’) ), which is 25% of each sale after the place of sale takes its tax and COG takes 75% of what’s left, is because... of... advertising. But uh, I don’t know if any of y’all have noticed, HG games don’t get advertised like, at all... that’s a strictly COG game thing. Even in the rules, that’s what it says, COG games get actual advertising??? But HG games I think literally get mentioned on the “Upcoming Games” and in a newsletter and that’s it... two free advertisements while COG games get actually paid ones. Really not sure what that’s all about.

But, overall, the site and everything there is just... god. I dread publishing a game, because I know what’ll be waiting for me after both on the COG forum and in my inbox.

[connordavidscamera]

Surrender | Connor Brashier

A/n: this is a repost from my Shawn blog!! This is my piece and is not stolen

Summary: White flag didn’t help, how about a surrender?

Warnings: still angst

Word Count: 1.3k

***

I went too far, I knew it the second I mentioned her work, but I couldn’t stop myself. She was going on and on about how I wasn’t gonna help. But I was the one telling her that I wanted one. I was the one telling her that it would be good. I don’t know what’s so wrong with wanting to have a baby with her. I want to have a little mini y/n running around with my eyes and her hair. The thought of having someone on this earth that is the spitting image of me and my girl, if she even still wants to be my girl after this. I sigh and grab my keys from by the door. I know what I need to do to make this better.

She’s exactly where I expect her to be when I get there. The light in her office is the only light on in the whole place. I smile at the fond memory of us painting it at an ungodly hour because neither of us could sleep. She still looked so beautiful, sleep deprived and covered in turquoise paint. I told her that night for the thousandth time how crazy proud of her I was because she was starting something from nothing. No one deserved to succeed more than her. I meant it then and I mean it now. 

I’m standing just outside the door frame, watching her sift through papers and reorganize them into folders. She’s still mad. I know because she’s not humming to the music that’s playing, she’s not singing softly like she always does, no matter where she is.

I pull the white flag from my pocket - I keep it in my car for situations just like this, it sometimes helps to lighten the mood - and enter the room. “I’ve come to surrender.”

Y/n jumps at the sound of my voice and I hate it. “Jesus, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” I step tentatively into the room, still keeping my distance, knowing better than anyone that she doesn’t want me near her when she’s mad. 

“What are you doing here?” she asks, focusing her gaze back on the papers that litter her desk. They must be driving her crazy.

“I came to apologize.”

“Connor, don’t do this right now.”

“No, I’m doing this now because I am not about to go back home and sleep in our bed without you.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well I do. I’m sorry, okay?.” I step further into the room, setting the flag on her desk. “I said some things that I shouldn’t have and I regret it. I didn’t mean them, baby. I just - I was angry.”

“Some part of you believes that’s all I do,” she mumbles.

“No, it’s not. I know what you do. I know because I have watched you stress about it all. I’ve been there to help you through it - or I’ve tried to be, at least. I’ve watched you build this business from the ground up and to say that all you do is look at spreadsheets and customer reviews was wrong and stupid and I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head, “It’s whatever.”

“No, it’s not whatever.” Against my better judgement, I close the space between us, sitting on the edge of her desk, I take her hands in mine and feel a sense of comfort when she doesn’t immediately move to take them away. “I am… I am so proud of you, baby. So proud. I could not be prouder, okay? You have to believe me. I said it out of anger. It didn’t mean anything. You have accomplished so much and I am so lucky to have been by your side to witness it.”

She deflates, “I’m trying really hard, you know?”

“I do. I know that.”

“And hearing you say that I don’t do anything? That hurt, Connor.”

“God, I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

“That’s your name,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, but not with you. Never with you. Not unless you’re mad at me.”

“I am though. Yes, you’re apologizing, but you still said it. It’s still there and now it’s all I’m ever going to be able to think about when I’m stressed out and I want to talk to you about it. All I’ll be able to think is, ‘is he going to say I’m overreacting? That what’s stressing me out isn’t big enough to stress me out?’ How am I supposed to talk to you about work now, Connor? I can’t.”

“No, y/n. You can talk to me about it. I swear you can. I want you to. I’m begging you to. I don’t want you to think you can’t do that anymore.”

“Well what do you want me to think?”

“Y/n, I didn’t mean it!”

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not. You said it and that means that at least somewhere inside of you, you think that that’s all I do and that fucking sucks.”

“What can I do? Tell me, honey. I want to make this better. I want to be good and I want us to go home and I want to make love to you like we never have before and I want to marry you. I promise you, I do want that. I just didn’t think that it was something you wanted and especially not right now with all of this shit going on with the store. I want this all with you, please don’t let this be something that tears us apart. I love you. I love you so much and it was stupid of me to say that and I regret it and I will for the rest of my life. Just please… please let me spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you?”

“Con-”

“We don’t have to have kids. Okay? We don’t. If I have you, I don’t need anything else. We can get dogs or something, I don’t care. But I can’t lose you, y/n. I can’t.”

“Bub, stop.”

I look up at her, the shock, no doubt, evident in my eyes. “You called me bub.”

“Yeah, loser, I did.”

“Are we okay?” I ask, scared to really hear the answer.

“We will be,” she nods.

I sigh in relief and slide off the desk, onto my knees in front of her. I press my lips gently to her knuckles.

“I’m sorry too. You do so much. I know you do more than just point a camera.”

I shake my head, “It’s forgotten.”

“But-”

“No,” I press a kiss to both of her knees. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Had I not said what I said then you wouldn’t have said it. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have provoked you.”

“It shouldn’t matter what you said though. I didn’t have the right to belittle your work, Con. We both know that.”

“Then it won’t happen again. From either of us, yeah?”

Y/n nods. “Okay,” she says quietly.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah, bub. You can kiss me." 

And I do. I kiss her like I’ve been starved to do it, and I feel like I have been. But she pulls away before I’m ready, and she’s sniffling.

"Hey,” I take her face in my hands. “What’s wrong?”

She wipes away her tears, “Nothing. It’s stupid.”

“What is?”

She rests her forehead against mine. “Please don’t find someone else to have a baby with.”

“Whoa, no. No. No, sweetheart. I wouldn’t. Couldn’t, in fact. No one could make a baby as pretty as you could. I don’t want one if it’s not with you. And if you don’t-”

“I do want kids,” she interrupts. “And I want them with you. But…”

“But what? Talk to me.”

“I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” I press, but she doesn’t answer. “Come on, I know it’s not just work that’s keeping you from it. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“I don’t think I’d make a good mom.”

***

I hope you enjoyed (again)! Please like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

[butterflyinthewell]

I’m gonna lose followers. Oh well... a rant by me.

People who harass others about SHIPPING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS are irksome.

Preface: if you say you don’t want someone role playing a NOTP with you or sending asks about it, or you don’t want secret Santa stuff containing it, if you ask people not to suggest fics with that pairing for your fic collections, if you stay out of your NOTP’s pairing tags, if you choose not to interact with material related to your NOTP, if you blacklist the pairing tag and ask people not to tag your fanwork with your NOTP, if you heed warnings and don’t click something with material you don’t like, I do not have a problem with you.

But if you write novel long posts about why a ship is gross to you and tag the pairing so shippers see it, send people hate over their ships, reblog fanworks of your NOTP with nasty messages to the op of the post, if you make a blog all about hating that ship and anyone who ships it, claim it must be grooming, or if you call people pedophiles or abuse apologists because they wrote something morally heinous in fiction that they will most likely never do irl, I’m not gonna have much respect for you beyond you being a fellow person.

Guess what? Shit you hate is going to exist on the internet. If someone tags their work appropriately or tags with appropriate warnings, you should not be clicking on it and harassing them! They have done what is necessary to protect those pearls you want to clutch.

Banning all questionable material is not going to save people who are targeted by predators and criminals.

Calling people pedophiles because they ship a fictional minor with a fictional adult gives actual pedophiles who go after actual minors a hiding place. These days you can’t tell if someone is an actual pedo or got called one over a ship they ship. Pedos are totally banking on that.

Fiction is supposed to break rules and let people explore dark subjects that are morally messed up because you can close a book or close a website if it gets too weird for you. A child with a predator’s hands on them right this moment can’t click an x or close a book to stop it.

Think about that.

No one is forcing you to go read morally messed up stuff. Not clicking on someone’s creepy fic with your NOTP is nowhere in the same realm as turning a blind eye to actual predators predating on someone.

Running someone off a website because your ass is on fire about them writing a pairing you hate or whatever is not going to stop the bad shit happening in the real world.

Predators and criminals will use anything, so someone’s freaky babyfur smutfic that they wrote to troll a fan website in 1999 is hardly going to normalize bad behavior.

I swear some of you insult the intelligence of people with your moral abuse garbage.

Teaching people to recognize predatory behavior and what to do about it will actually help. Teaching people what is and isn’t a healthy relationship will help.

Remember how people called out Twilight for how unhealthy Edward’s behavior towards Bella was? I’m sure a lot of preteen and teen girls learned to open their eyes a bit more. And I’m sure others still enjoyed the books and movies anyway because it’s fiction. It is the job of parents and guardians to teach their children what is and isn’t healthy in a relationship, but the unfortunate problem there is that can fail if the parents aren’t in a healthy relationship.

That’s why there needs to be more discussions about “this is healthy, that might be fun in a story, but that is not healthy in the real world and anybody who treats you like that is waving abuse red flags” rather than attacking somebody by saying “you’re a monster for shipping that”.

The whole point of art in any form is to create an emotional reaction in the audience.

Fucked up fictional shit exists on the internet. Get over it. I think the fact that people get freaked out by weird stuff in fiction is a clear indicator that it’s not being normalized by that piece of fiction. Flailing about it is not helping anything except your ego. It’s not gonna help survivors who write messed up stuff to cope, it’s going to make them go more silent.

Imagine being someone with an abusive pedo parent who takes comfort in the SessRin ship and being called a pedophile for it, or seeing people in the tag call Sesshoumaru a pedophile. That’s triggering as fuck for somebody.

Imagine being a Starkster going through sexual abuse who takes comfort in the ship, and being called a pedophile for it. Imagine seeing people in the tag call Tony a pedophile. That’s triggering as fuck for somebody.

Imagine having the heinous thing that happened to you being turned onto you as an accusation by people on a moral high horse who forget what pedophile means. That is triggering as fuck for somebody.

Nobody owes you a trauma history in order to be ‘allowed’ to create and post morally messed up fanworks. It’s on YOU to check for warnings and keep scrolling if it’s so offensive to your sensibilities.

What’s better? Discussion of tropes that are harmful if done badly. That’s a place to start. Save the accusations for people who are knowingly doing harm to people and not caring that they’re doing harm.

Go after shit that is actually exploiting actual people right now instead of harassing creators whose trauma you don’t know. Tell pedos their attraction to kids is not a sexuality and they have no place in the LGBTQIA+ community. Warn minors away from MAPs/NOMAPs. Expose predators who have exploitative materials of actual real children. Teach people to recognize predatory behavior like grooming. Find ways to get people out of human trafficking. Question adults if you see them touching or treating a child in a way that doesn’t look right. If you’re a minor and somebody keeps sending you porn material or pictures of their genitalia after you said stop, remind them that you’re a minor and expose the shit out of them. If you’re an adult and know somebody is doing that to a minor you talk to online, help them expose that person. That’s not all you can do, but I can’t think of everything. There’s a lot you can do that will actually help people!

But telling someone not to create something questionable because a predator might misuse it is utter horseshit.

I can bet you anything that every single person who hounds others about their ships has a whole bunch of fucked up stuff they read and never talk about because they know it will get them run off by the same people they use as shields against scrutiny.

I’ve read fucked up shit that I enjoyed because it was done well, but I can grasp that it is not okay to do the same thing in the real world and I would be horrified if I saw somebody doing the same thing in the real world. I am able to experience that moment of being horrified, sit with it and see where the fanwork takes me with that feeling.

I say this after I have just read an awesome morally gray Inuyasha fanfic called “Devour Prometheus” by ladybattousai on AO3. It’s gorey, there is murder, there is abuse, there is exploitation, there are allusions to animal trade and it’s the darkest thing I ever laid eyes on. My stomach twisted several times. It’s a fantastic lens on society right now. (Sesshoumaru’s speech about “don’t hold me to your hypocritical human morality” was epic af.)

And some of you are going to think the author is some kind of violence glorifying freak based only on that.

I feel like a lot of anti shippers and antis in general can’t get past that horrified feeling. They yell that they can’t enjoy the fandom if the material makes a hated pairing canon, so it’s like they don’t want anyone else to enjoy the fandom or the pairing. It’s very immature and scorched earth, and it hurts everyone.

Hey, guess what? I have written pairings with hella huge age gaps. Oh, the horror!

OptimusxMikaela? I headcanon Optimus as being 10 billion + years old, and Mikaela was 18 when they hooked up. Mikaela ages as the stories carry on through the years as my Danceverse series, so she’s in her 30s currently. They fucked and still fuck explicitly.

UnicronxStarscream? Unicron is as old as the universe, so 13 billion + (headcanon), and Starscream is probably 11 million or so (headcanon). They fuck explicitly.

Whouffaldi? The 12th Doctor is 2000+ and Clara is in her 20s. They fuck explicitly.

BeastGojixMiki? Godzilla has been alive for probably close to 65 years in the story, but he acts more like he’s in his 20s and he looks to be in his 20s when he turns back into a human. Miki is 18. They fuck in the story, but it’s written non explicitly.

Bowser JrxOC? Cherry is an oc who is 19. I aged Junior up in that story to be about 20. Their ages aren’t specified, but they’re mentioned to be adults. They fuck in the story, but it’s written non explicitly.

I have written fanfics with rape, abuse, murder, manslaughter, bdsm, stuff that’s morally messed up, etc, and I’m not a murdering rapist who eats children now, am I?

No, because I have no desire to do those things in the real world (because some are not possible...cuz I would date Optimus 😛) and I can distinguish fiction from reality. I can grasp the concept that fiction / art is not always endorsement.

Now get a grip on yourselves, put the pitchforks down and stop policing people’s imaginations.

[incarnateirony]

I get blends of innocent beans confused with what queer coding is or isn’t, and malignant beans misappropriating points, so we’re gonna do a quick run through.

Queer coding started as a malignant thing. The truest use of the phrase “queer coding” came from stereotypes and villainizations that straight people found sCaRy. This is like, why Scar seemed classically flamboiyant, or a variety of Disney villains were long, lanky, gestured exaggeratedly, wore eyeliner, etc. There’s a million examples but I’m not going to cover them all because I think you get what I mean. At the time, straight culture was painting gays as bad so painting villains as how straights perceived gays was like, super useful, cuz it creeped the straights out oOOoooOOo.

When people talk about queer coding enforcing stereotypes, if you’re talking about the original form of queer coding, this is inherently true. However, coding reached other levels, and has adaptive forms.

For example, watching (as I’ve been mocked for saying 10,000 times, but because it’s needed) The Celluloid Closet will clear up a lot for you. Subversive queer coding is when queer creators use a great deal of things to communicate with a queer audience past censorship. The film documentary (if you can’t read the book -- which I understand, it’s difficult to find) clears a whole fuckton of this up.

There’s some things that, quite frankly, we as gays know as part of our language. It is what it is. While it’s not a stereotype, it’s quite literally a language I highly warn straights against stepping into, because then they flounder around confused on what’s our actual language and what’s a stereotype

A truly innocent bean asked of me yesterday, well why then is menthols fair subversive queer coding? How is that not a stereotype?

Well like, because it’s facts. And that’s really, really hard to wrap ones’ head around from an outsider straighty perspective or even someone who’s queer but trapped heavily in a hetnorm world outside of where this is visible and/or in the wrong demographic otherwise. A black person who hangs out with black people of all orientations is not going to blink at a media dude getting menthols generally, because it’s one of the cultures that statistically engages in it to the point of memes about Kools or whatever. That’s not my culture, I can’t comment on much beyond that, but it’s just something to take note of.

But even if you don’t want to take someone’s word on “no, seriously, white dudes smoking menthols is queer culture and literally like a great sign for a hookup to another queer white dude”, google the various intersections of gender and menthol, race and menthol, and sexuality and menthol.

This isn’t pulled out of thin air. These were populations quite literally heavily targeted by Big Tobacco and, by nature, are the ones that smoke it, whereas Big Tobacco put(s) on airs of masculinity and chick-magnetness to smoke good ol non-menthol shit. It’s literally marketing. Yes, it does literally impact who buys product and yes, it does after generations have a noticeable affect. Track the numbers I told you to google down and you’ll realize less than 3% of menthol smokers identify as straight white men (depending on the way the numbers sort out and the year of polling, often 1.x%, 3% is the liberal number).. Lemme tell you, on the street, that’s an “okay, honey :)” when you do find it. Maybe a little pat on the head. An invisible brochure for Welcome To The Gays.  Like, White Men make up more than 31% of America and they still refuse to tally more than 25% of the US as queer [some censuses as low as 6% and LOL] so like-- that should be like minimum 25% of dudes available and nope, 1-3%)

(that’s not to say all gays or even all white gays smoke menthol, but this is that rule of “not all fingers are thumbs, but all thumbs are fingers” in loose application.)

But understanding these things, these signals, from the outside is utterly flabbergasting to people.

No, someone making an immasculating joke is not subversive queer coding. No, a dude wearing a certain kind of shirt or eating a certain kind of food generally isn’t queer coding (Unless it’s a rainbow flag BITCH IM GAY shirt, or uh, maybe for food quiche or hummus? I mostly joke for the latter two, but that’s the kind of self ball punching queer community sometimes does to itself in awareness that yes, there ARE elements. No, eating hot dogs and burritos isn’t gay. Yes, we make make penis jokes. No, that isn’t itself queer coding.)

When a queer author codes a piece, it’s designed to communicate to the resonant audience. It also may not communicate to /all/ gays. The language of a middle aged cis gay man that lived through the AIDS crisis is a whole other fuckin adventure from the language of 17 year old trans gays squatting behind their Xbox, it’s just fact, it’s just what is. Completely different cultures and lives being lived, completely different experiences resulting. A few things here or there may connect across generations but some shit that’s written by a gen Z gay is gonna whiff by a boomer gay, sorry. Also just facts.

Explaining exactly what is and isn’t queer coding is almost impossible beyond the fact that “if you don’t get it, it’s probably not for you.” -- At the same time, that leaves the problematic room of people taking that grey area and packing in a bunch of shit and we’re back to ground zero on the original problematic queer coding.

I once read a meta of uh-- I’ll just say, [Fantasy Character]. The fantasy character had an addiction problem that gave them villain-like attributes. Someone implied the “villain coding” made it queer coding. Okay like. Fucking absolutely not. Because if the show in question WAS doing that, first off, that’s literally the kind to make mockeries of gay people so you literally shouldn’t be reaching for that and second off they’d be doing that lanky sassy bitch with eyeliner bullshit like Disney villains with it, give or take. You don’t apply this shit in reverse, “he has villain attributes and so he’s gay” is literally the worst possible angle to take a discussion while trying to slap fight in a representation arena. Like I can’t say enough DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. 

If you wanna write fic or headcanon whoever as gay or whatever have fun but like once people keep trying to talk about “coding” you’re talking about conscious elements inset by the authors. Does a character have a bunch of on the record sexual encounters that just happen to include dudes persistently even if we don’t exactly get the exact angle or Proof Of Dicking? That’s gay (also depending on the phrasing, as settled in older stuff, that’s just deadass queer text and settled long before this fandom ever had pissing matches about this shit in older cinema.) Does the character happen to be respectful and use like gender neutral pronouns on people? Sorry folks that unto itself isn’t gay, that’s gays writing allies at best, unless you can give specific and directly applicable situations relevant to the character rather than eternally vague blogging through and swearing up and down it’s just about their partners or some shit. Yelling it in general though, sorry, no. 

Does the character engage in things or events with non-het gendered partners that in the very least are heavily coded into the areas of relationships even if they’re unclear (eg, do they routinely go out with non-family people and hold deep or meaningful conversations in things that LOOK like a date, even if nobody SAYS it’s a date) -- congrats, you have coded text. Alone it could even be queerplat stuff, depending on the suprastructure of the plot, text, subtext and everything else around it (same way, gasp, a man and a woman can sit at a table and not necessarily be in a relationship, but if they’re trading courting gifts and having unique and powerful exchanges or have big like, “the heart is the thing that binds us together uwu” shit, we all figure out what the fuck is going on like grown assed adults.)

It’s easier to list things that are NOT subversive queer coding:

Insults against gay people

Immasculating commentary

Random foods short of it deadass being a gay author making fun of some gay meme shit in some gay equivalent of ‘right in front of my salad’

Favorite colors or clothing

---

We got it? Good. Rule of thumb though. Deadass unless you are involved in some thick-ass queer culture don’t try to queer code shit. I don’t even care if you’re queer yourself because that doesn’t mean you’ve actually been subject to the culture in a meaningful way. There’s 30 year old bis that grew up in white picket fence suburbias on top of trust funds with hovercraft parents guiding them through 17 degrees and keeping them out of party culture that married a het-passing relationship and settled down and started having babies and their grasp of queer culture ends at what they perceive out of memes online, if they even hover in actual queer crowds online at all as much as general ones. That person literally is not going to speak much of the language. They aren’t. At best they’ll speak the language of 30 year old trust fund het-married bisexual mothers which, I mean yeah, technically some queer language but that’s a very, very fucking niche experience path right there compared to street-dwelling club-goers that attend pride, hold D&D parties with all their coworkers they figured out are gay on the weekend, occasionally brick a window in a riot. The latter is gonna have a far more diverse queer experience. And by such, a far more diverse queer language.

That’s not even to gatekeep. 30 year old trust fund het-passing-marriage bi-mom is in fact bi. So yeah, they’re queer. But we’re talking about language and culture, which is related to but not something you inherit. It comes by lives and experiences.

And I think this is where a LOT of the fucked up early Queer Coding fuckery comes from in discourse. Yes we have a language. Hell, to some extent a few things might even kinda BE stereotypes but there’s a certain amount of living and being where you know the difference between “this is a stereotype made by straight people villainizing us that has no idea what we’re fucking like” or “this is a stereotype born out of mass marketing that targeted and victimized then imprinted on an entire population that we’ve come to recognize among ourselves.” Or even “this is a stereotype but FUCK YES it’s one we embrace, go get fucked, straights.” And it’s not NEARLY as ambiguous as fandom circle jerks try to make these things out to be in the interest of wanting every interpretation to be valid or every character to be gay or not wanting to admit some person may know what the fuck they’re talking about more than they do. 

Huge point on that last one though, because like. I’ve seen some angry straights that are pissy about the show try to throw wrenches in the gears by concern trolling as if in defense of the gays about “offensive queer coding” and most of the time they’re basically that “how do you do fellow kids gays” meme. “How do you do gays I am very concerned about *checks notes* the twitters talking about gay men walking fast” and half the time turn around like two tweets later like “besides the character doesn’t even have a lisp anyway” or some bullshit that is outright offensive ass stereotyping while they’re out here trolling over the fact that a gay man admits to diva worship as a cultural trait.

General rule of thumb: ask a queer culture immersed gay about queer coding.

Shipping culture in the blue hellsite is not queer culture, for the record. Even if a bunch of queerfolk are in it.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

A very tired gay

[mcrmadness]

Great. Now the posts-don’t-appear-under-tags glitch has taken over my dä sideblog too. I just deleted one post I made because Tumblr refused to show it (made a new draft of it of course) and I checked the whole post for swear words. None, I used none. I didn’t see any words that should lead to it to being flagged. There’s no photos on the post. The tags are all fine. So what the FUCK is the problem here??? Gonna try posting it again soon and leaving out one tag that shouldn’t even be a problem (”Laternen-Joe”), because I haven’t used it before but magically now as I used it for the first time, the post didn’t show up. Just annoyed by this because this is a tag I’d like to use in that blog too since it literally was a name of yet another die ärzte prank.

Maybe it bans the word “Hell” now. Which, you know, kinda sucks since die ärzte literally named their album as that.

Or maybe the bad word was “goddamned”? Since when has this website become Christan? It’s not even a real swear word. Or should I imitate British people and write “bloody” instead? Oh right, Tumblr might think it’s about gore and violence, flaaaaaag. I already know I at least cannot use the words KILLER and OVERKILLER on dä posts anymore because those DO get banned. But guess what? Those are the titles of their DVDs. Official die ärzte DVDs! And I cannot tag stuff from those dvds because apparently even mentioning the title of a dvd in a post is BAD. Now I at least know why those OVERKILLER posts never got shown under the tags...

I also once made an audio post. I wrote there “this sounds dope af!” I think Tumblr censored the post because of the word “dope”. It thought I meant a drug instead of an adjective. Me, a teetotaler? Who didn’t even know somewhere in the world people use that word about a drug and learnt about it only after this? Gimme a break.

Okay you know what? Tumblr’s blacklisting system is way worse than what Germany did with Die Ärzte in the 80s. Fuck you. I’m gonna fill this post with all kinds of words that get flagged :)

[official-michael-afton]

I agree with your thing about getting William antis and stans to chill. The real issue is that you can’t glorify him because he has done some REALLY horrible things, but it’s also annoying to me how people can make him a homophobic and racist simply because Sock Cawthorn hasn’t given him nearly enough chractization so people can be spouting off these headcanons and making saying you like the character as a ANTAGONIST (and not agreeing with any of his actions) a bad thing. Please, just chill guys

Sup fam it's 7 in the morning and I'm half asleep while typing this hoping that our REALLY shitty hotel WiFi will post this soooo *finger guns*

Tbh I just- my whole thing is like- some people REALLY like William Afton as a character. Some people REALLY love hating on William Afton. Both of these people exist, so like... Get Over It. Y'all can co-exist.

Yeah don't romanticize his actions but also... He's a fictional character so you're not romanticizing him just by liking him. Like one example of romanticizing I've seen is when I saw someone go "Well I think William is canonically a good father who was actually really nice to his kids, that's why Michael wants to find him!" Like... Noooo Michael shows clear malice in his voice when talking about his Dad and even shows some signs of abuse and neglect in his actions... Y'see, THATS romanticizing because you're trying to downplay his canonical character and trying to "prove" he's actually a good guy just cuz ya like him. What ISNT romanticizing is "Oh yeah smelly bastard, love him! I hc him as [insert-identity-or-trait-here]!" Because like- you can like a fictional character but still realize they're a piece of SHIT in canon. Same with AUs and RP blogs like- it's okay if you want a William who ISNT being horrible every waking moment of his life, because you're not trying to downplay who he CANONICALLY is.

It's kinda like Disney villains! We KNOW they're bad and never try to argue that, but we can still like them! We don't have to spend every waking moment of our lives going on and on about how much we hate their guts just to prove that we're #Unproblematic. High key this is the first fandom I've been in where even liking the villain puts you in the same category as the people who try to justify their canonical actions.

Just..

Some shite I've seen stans do: "Why is your William ugly do you hate William fans or something", "*Continually make sexual jokes on my blog despite me saying this is a PG13 blog*", "I think William was canonically a good person!", "*insist that William is hot despite people(coughvsemilycough) consistently asking people to stop sending those asks*", okay one time I found someone liking a lot of my posts tagged William and I went to their blog out of curiosity and found that they made... It was literally a yandere-like post. Swear to God they- not gonna put what it says here but it was straight out of a yandere character like wHY, "William's actions are justifiable because [literally any excuse]!"

Some shite I've seen antis do: "You're not allowed to hc William as anything other than a cishet white twink(even tho Will was canonically chubby) and if you do you're a racist/LGBTphobe/etc!!!", "If you aren't spending every waking moment of your life despising William Afton then you're a stan how dare you", "If you ship Willry and/or Purplephone I'm going to actually threaten you and encourage physical violence towards you.", "Oh, you like William Afton as a character? HEY EVERYONE ADD THIS USER TO YOUR BLOCKLIST LMAO", not really William related but I swear I've seen quite a few exlcusionist ideals in the anti community, also I've noticed a few "[character] is clearly [identity](even tho Sock Cotton never gave any characters canon confirmed identities) so if you're not drawing [character] as [identitiy] then fuck you!!!, I could make a whole post on why Fanon is dangerous but that's another day-, oh I've also been afraid that any time I'd post a William I'd either get anon hate or a callout post haha,,, Still afraid of that,,,

Shite I've seen them BOTH do with each other: "If you even LOOK at [insert-user-here] you're being added to our blocklist", being absolutely vicious in referring to each other and having no respect for people with different opinions, encouraging violence/pettiness... just being absolute SHIT role models like wtf aren't some of you supposed to be 20+ why are you picking such immature fights with teenagers, taking "I like/hate William" as a personal attack on themself, The poor "your fave is" blogs... The poor, poor "your fave is" blogs... I swear it's almost a comedic PATTERN to see "William Afton from fnaf is [insert-thing-here]" Anti:"UMMM ACTUALLY WILL IS A CHILD MURDERER TAKE THAT POST DOWN" Stan:"hAH FUCK YOU IM GONNA MAKE MY OWN POST WITH UR FLAG SINCE U DELETED IT UWUWUWUWU", Just... I've never seen a fandom be so vicious WITHIN the fandom- like I've seen those for Vs against a fandom but I've never seen such animosity IN the fandom itself, like... Seriously are you guys Okay

But yeah I rambled for a long time so enjoy this post of my frustrations towards my own community sbscahxmfb