#gonna take a small break to work on other stuff so imagine a commercial break here lol

[cottoncandysprite]

The Masquerade part 7- Accomplished

This is a long-form WWDITS comic that follows the same season 5 predictions as my last comic, Shifting!

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[botanyshitposts]

Please. I have a pot of aloe vera plant that I'm almost giddy to eat. But then I found out that there's a variant aloe vera that are not edible. Google doesn't help. One website says one thing and a website says another. A houseplant subReddit was against advocating what plants are edible and what isn't. But I've been following you for almost a year, so I know you'd know. I'm sure you're busy, but if you please help me with this.

oh my god, i can’t believe i can actually somewhat answer this question but i did a paper on aloe vera production for an economic botany class a couple years ago (i ported it to my google drive for this blog if you want to read the entire thing here) and although i know less about eating it, i might have info on what you’re talking about. i don’t think they mean like, some forms of aloe vera are toxic and some aren’t, but there probably are some species that have more toxic substances in them than others, which i know less about. the most popular aloe vera species to be used for this stuff and for industrial use is Aloe barbadensis, if that helps at all.

note here: listen. im all for using plant stuff. but plants are excellent chemists and can be unpredictable, so whatever you do from here is up to you. i’m not gonna give instructions or advice about how to eat aloe vera, partially because ive never actually eaten any and i imagine it to be kinda slimy and weird, but also bc that shit is wild in general.

quick big brained aloe vera anatomy lesson. there are three parts of the aloe vera leaf: there’s the rind, which is the outer green part; there’s the thin toxic layer; and there’s the gel that gets used for a ton of stuff both industrially and in peoples’ homes. the gel in its intact form is called a fillet (epic) and most processing in industrial applications revolves around removing the toxic layer from the rest of the gel as much as possible while still keeping it sterile. given that aloe vera is one of the most widely known and used medicinal herbs out there and industrial uses inevitably leave small to trace amounts in products that go to store shelves, i’m guessing the toxic layer is only a super big deal if you’re eating it, although i wouldn’t like, go out of my way to rub it (the toxic layer) on any open wounds or anything, lmao.

the toxic layer is wrapped around the fillet, and it’s made of a substance called aloin. it’s a yellow color. aloe vera gels on store shelves often aren’t completely purified from it for reasons related to lack of regulation that i’ll touch on here in a moment. it’s not toxic in that like, it’ll kill you instantly, but to give an idea here its utilized by the pharmaceutical industry for OTC laxatives. if you live in the US you almost certainly have never encountered aloe vera/aloin based OTC laxatives, and that’s because the FDA barred the use of aloin for laxatives in the US back in 2002, following some research suggesting it’s mildly carcinogenic and not something you want someone to be swallowing every day. so, you know, i’d be a bit weary of it even aside from the laxative effects (eating aloe vera isn’t unheard of, although i only know of it in the context of aloe vera juice, which is a highly distilled and sterilized version of the gel).

so...i suspect that’s what they’re referring to. from what ive read, aloe vera gel minus the aloin layer that surrounds it is pretty safe (and continues to get casually used a lot all over), but i only know that for sure re: A. barbadensis. there are around 300 aloe species in the genus. i’d be sure that’s what you have, if you can find an ID guide or something.

as for regulations, this is a case where....it actually isn’t the FDA ignoring it as a problem or whatnot. the problem with aloe vera is that although it’s incredibly widely used, we don’t exactly know what causes the effects that it has. the gel itself is a highly complex substance with hundreds of moving parts that could be interacting with one another, so it’s hard to pin down even like, a handful of active agents; without knowing what makes the gel work, the FDA can’t test its effectiveness and report on it, or register it as an official drug of any sort with official prescribable properties despite it being known to be effective on burns and wounds. as a result, it’s technically still treated as a homeopathic remedy (the gel, not the drink, which i suspect falls under different rules) that isnt subject to the same FDA regulations as other stuff aside from like, ‘dont have mold or weird stuff in there with it’.

so the name of the game in making commercial aloe vera gel is removing as much aloin as possible while keeping it as sterile as possible (harder because it oxidates quickly once exposed to air, and heating it breaks down the structure of the gel and makes it less effective), but there’s no like, set amount of what can and can’t be in there aside from guidelines set by the industry. the absolute purest you can get is the kind used in cosmetics that comes in a powder, which takes a additional processing to make. fascinating stuff lmao

[hyuckssunchip]

Redemption Pt. 2

Pairings: Jungwoo x reader, ft. Johnny, Jaehyun, Mark

Words: 2.3K

Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), some angst

Summary:

Y/N finds Jungwoo in a compromising position weeks after their breakup. A list of misunderstandings leads to outcomes neither of them can bear to handle. Will the two of them be able to move past this and sort things out again? Or is there no room for redemption?

Part 1 | Part 2 |

The tickets from the movie of our first date

"Hey I'm sorry I'm late." There was a breathless voice that came from across the room. A boy in a grey shirt stood before his date and she blushed shaking her head.

You reached for another piece of popcorn, slowly chewing on the piece before sighing and reaching for another.

As the last call for your movie showed on the big screen you glanced at your watch again.

"Is this your movie?" He was tall, wearing a baby blue shirt and wore a thin pair of spectacles. Definitely not your blind date.

You sighed.

"Yeah, it's supposed to be."

"Supposed to be? You don't want to watch it anymore?" He asked, taking the seat in front of you.

"My date stood me up." You said bluntly, "I'm not really in the mood for a romance movie right now."

"How about murder mystery?" He flashed two tickets in the air, and sent you a sweet smile.

"Murder mystery? You don't really seem the type." You laughed, looking at the screen one last time. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise.

“Excuse me? I’ll have you know that this is research and I kill people on my down time.”

You cringed at him.

“Okay, that was bad, I know. But don’t you pity me now? Now you have to join this loser for a movie date.” He smiled, his dimples on display.

You laughed standing up from your chair, “If you promise never to say stuff like that again, I’ll join you.”

“So it worked!” he fist pumped the air before skipping the way to the right theater with you in tow.

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

“I can’t believe that it was the police officer the whole time!” You spoke animatedly, genuinely shocked that you spent the majority of the movie liking the man.

“I know right! People are so crooked.” He said, shaking his head on disappointment. “But what a great plot twist right?”

“Yeah I thought for sure that it was the store owner. I mean who carries around a metal wedge like that?” You nodded enthusiastically, way too into the conversation.

Jungwoo laughed beside you. “So you don’t regret joining me?”

“Nope, I think I rather enjoyed myself.” You sent him a cheesy smile when you noticed that the two of you had already made it to the exit.

You didn’t want this to end quite yet.

Almost as if he sense your hesitation he spoke up. “How about dessert? There’s this fantastic ice cream shop just down the street and I’d love to treat you, y’know cause I just stole two hours of your time.” He grinned softly.

“I’d love that.” You couldn’t help the smile that was bursting to break free.

“Then shall we?” He asked in a fake posh manner, sticking out his elbow for you to grab onto.

“We shall.” You linked your arm and his and the two of you left for the shop.

The evening had started out sour, but like always Jungwoo managed to bring a little extra spark into your life. Imagine if he had never come up to you that evening, imagine if he had never stepped foot in that movie theater. You might’ve lost out on the most important thing in your life and never started your journey with Jungwoo. Where would you be now?

JUNGWOO’S POV

PRESENT DAY

The movie ticket of our first date.

The three boys looked down at the list and contemplated what they should do next. 

“Okay, how am I supposed to find movie tickets with the same movie and date?” Jungwoo groaned. “This isn’t going to work it’s just stupid.”

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. All we need to do is get comfortable with photoshop. Right? It’s not like it’s that hard to make a pretend movie ticket.” Jaehyun rested his hand on Jungwoo’s shoulder, “It’ll be fine.”

“Sure it will.”

“Do you atleast remember the movie? And date?” Mark asked, notebook already in his hands again.

“Of course I do. How could I forget?” The last bit he muttered under his breath, but still loud enough that the boys could hear him. 

They gave each other pitying looks.

“Right. Write it down then.”

Jungwoo’s hands moved on its own. 

“Dude! No way! That’s what you watched on your first date?” Mark couldn’t help but giggle at the title, earning a glare from Jungwoo and a shove from Johnny.

“Dude. Not helping.” Johnny shook his head at the youngest before turning back to Jungwoo.

“Sorry. It’s just that they’re making a sequel to that. It came out last week.”

Jungwoo cringed at the thought, vowing not to watch it.

“Was it good?” Jaehyun asked, more interested in the movie than the current situation.

“Yeah! God you would not believe the plot twist there. It was awesome, I would totally watch it again-”

Johnny shoved the two of them. “Guys, not important right now.”

Jungwoo had retreated back, heads in his arms again and sighed, hearing the others talk.

“Sorry.”

You didn’t know how you got yourself dragged to the movie theater in the middle of the week. It was Wednesday and it seemed like all of a sudden your friends decided that movie night could be moved up a few days.

“Popcorn?”

You nodded haphazardly in response to your best friend Jennie’s question. 

“Cool, I’ll wait in line, go ahead and go to the bathroom, I can see you squirming from here. I’ll meet you in the theatre.”

You sent her a look of relief, and rushed towards the bathroom. 

Staring at yourself in the reflection of the mirror, you couldn’t help but notice the large black circles under your eyes. You rubbed them once more before heading to the theatre. 

Jennie had picked out the movie, dragging you along and you pulled out the ticket that she shoved into your hands the moment you walked in the building. 

Theatre 2 B14.

That should be easy enough to find. Although your direction skills could always use improving.

You froze as you stood before your theatre, noticing the large poster next to it. 

No.

You recognized the familiar poster, same cast, give or take a few, but it was almost identical to the one you remembered as your first encounter with Jungwoo.

You scrambled for your phone and typed in the title of the movie, your heart dropping at the description. It was the sequel. 

Your feet refused to move, stuck in the same spot and you heard a loud bang coming from the theatre. The commercials had already started. 

A group of teenagers bumped into your shoulder trying to enter the theatre, you stumbled forward, hearing the faint giggles and muttered apologies. 

It was the push that you needed to make your way into the theatre. 

As you walked up the aisles to find your seat you felt a wave of anxiety as you noted the group of rowdy boys in the seats next to yours. 

You sighed, knowing that you were in for a uncomfortable movie. 

Taking your seat, the boy next to you turned to give you a hesitant smile, almost as an offering of an apology in advance. 

Your blood ran cold. 

“Jungwoo?” It came out as a whisper, catching in your throat, but it was undeniable that he heard you.

He gulped, eyes fluttering across your face.

The noise next to you seemed to hush, a familiar voice called out to you, tearing you from Jungwoo’s face.

“Y/N?” Mark couldn’t control the amount of shock as well as the other boys, letting you know that you were the last person they were expecting. You lifted your hand into a shy wave, to which they returned, leaning back into their respective seats.

“So...”

You turned awkwardly to your ex, waiting for him to continue.

“Are you excited for the movie?”

You raised your eyebrows, the idea of small talk still uncomfortable to you.

“Yeah, I guess... I hope it lives up to the first one.” You blushed in memory of your first date brought up subtly.

Although it was dark, the red tint on Jungwoo’s was noticeable by you.

“Yeah... I heard it was good though, Mark’s already watched it and he dragged the rest of us here again.” His voice dropped a few octaves, lowering as the commercials got quiet as well.

You nodded, facing the screen, refusing to take your eyes off of it.

“Y/N.” There was a hiss coming from your right, you found Jennie desperately trying to find your form before initiating a crouch run to your side. She sank into the seat and leaned towards you, not noticing the boy next to you.

“I’m so so so sorry. But Lucas just asked me to pick him up from school. My mom stranded him again and he won’t stop calling.” She grimaced and looked at you apologetically.

Your eyes widened, realizing that she was planning on leaving you here. 

“He’s been waiting for three hours and I actually think he’ll try to kill me in my sleep if I don’t go to pick him up.”

You nodded, knowing that Lucas may be younger than his sister, but he was ten times bigger and had enough passion in him to do so.

“Okay.” You moved to get up, you didn’t really want to stay here alone. “I’ll come with you.”

“No. You should stay for the movie, we already paid and movie tickets are not cheap. Plus I think you’ll like this one, it looks right up your alley. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She shoved the bucket of popcorn into your lap and left before you could respond.

You sighed, slumping in your seat and picking at the pieces of popcorn that sat on top.

Jungwoo looked over at your side profile nervously from his seat.

You were tempted to move into Jennie’s unoccupied seat, eager to distance yourself from Jungwoo. But your body didn’t move.

His eyes followed the movement of your fingers, aching to reach out and grasp them in his own.

Less focused on the beginning of the movie and more concentrated on the bucket in front of you, you could feel yourself eating your way through your anxiety of the situation.

You choked slightly, turning red from embarrassment and tried to suppress the urge to cough.

You felt a nudge in your side, Jungwoo slid his drink towards you, and invitation to relieve your throat of pain.

You hesitated, as childish as it seemed you really didn’t want to drink from the same cup as him, but you were suffering.

You gave him a thankful smile and sipped for moment until you felt alright again.

In return you stuck the bucket of popcorn out towards him, after all there was no way that you could finish the whole thing on your own.

Halfway through the movie you felt the warmth of his hand graze yours as you simultaneously reached for a handful. As cliche as it seemed you felt sparks fly up your arm and you flinched pulling away, watching him do the same.

You hated that you still felt your heart rush at the close proximity. You hated that  he still made you nervous. You hated that you still had these feelings.

Before you knew it the closing credits had rolled across the screen and the lights of the theatre began to fade on.

From the corner of your eye you could see as the other boys stretched and stood up, making their way out of the theatre. It was only you and Jungwoo now.

You avoided eye contact, moving to make your exit. He followed.

The bright lights of the lobby had you blinking in distress. Johnny grinned at your fazed state and walked the group over to where you were standing, Jungwoo steps behind.

“Hey Y/N.” Jaehyun waved shyly at you before shoving his hands back into his pocket.

You smiled in response before turning to face Johnny, who looked like he was dying to say something.

“Y/N fancy seeing you here.” There was a grin that crossed his face, he looked too happy to be seeing you here.

You furrowed your eyebrows and nodded at him, not saying anything.

Standing awkwardly in the group you glanced at your phone checking the time. It was getting late and you groaned suddenly realizing that Jennie had left earlier. You no longer had a ride. 

You grimaced, pulling your phone out to text her, then realized that it was best not to bother her,  as she was dealing with a very upset Lucas.

“What’s up?” Johnny asked, peering over at your screen.

“Nothing.” You sighed, “I just remembered that my ride left earlier. I should go now to see if I could catch the bus.”

He shook his head, “No way, why don’t you let us give you a ride?”

“Oh. You wouldn’t mind?” As much as you hated the thought of being confined in a car with the four of the them, it was much better than getting on the sketchy bus that comes by every hour.

“Of course not, the bus is gross.” You nodded thankfully.

“Oh, that makes things easy then, could we pick up my box of things on the way then?” You asked, remembering that Johnny said they were at his place.

There was a pause, and you didn’t miss the look the three of them gave each other.

“I-uh... I forgot I actually have this thing I have to go to, with Mark and Jaehyun. Jungwoo, why don’t you drop her off?”

Your eyes widened at him. 

Jungwoo nodded more enthusiastically than you expected him to. 

You glanced at him, reluctantly following his lead. 

How bad could one car ride be?

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[redhawtriot]

Wanna Win? (Kirishima x Reader ft. KiriBaku)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

If you have seen the movie Hitch, you will know where I got my inspo from lollll

HnM💕

Hey I have request on Kiri x f!reader prompt: 3&9 “I think I love him/her” “When I think of my future it always has you in it.”

“I-I think I love her. I don’t know how to tell her, man. I have been thinking about this for days, but every situation that I can think of where I tell her how I feel ends with her breaking up with me, or punching me in the balls, or something…”

Holy shit. Bakugou knew that Kirishima was a hair for brains loser, but he never expected him to be the type of loser that thought with his short hairs. Jesus, was he the only person in this entire fucking school that hadn’t let his hormones think for him? Pathetic, really.

“Do you think that maybe I am moving too fast?” Kirishima pitifully fell back onto Bakugou’s bed alongside him with a deep sigh, igniting a low growl of annoyance from the latter. Kiri payed no mind to the display of aggression as he stared longingly at the ceiling above him, “it just feels so right. I wonder if she feels the same.  It’s just everything about her is so perfect. Her eyes, her hair, her smile—god, her entire body. How can a fucking neck be so hot? I mean…”

As Kirishima sat up and continued with his ramblings, Katsuki honestly didn’t know how many more eyerolls that he could withstand before the optic nerve that held his sight together tore off. Oh, well, at least he wouldn’t have to see his best friend—damn, it felt so lame to think that this groveling idiot was his best friend—could fall apart so easily over a damn girl.

You know what? It was almost like that stupid ‘Toostie Pop’ commercial. You know, that one with that bitch-ass nerd owl?

How many idiotic sentences does it take before Bakugou looses his shit?

One,

Two,

Three,

‘SMACK!’

The sound clapped against the walls of the dorm room as Bakugou swatted his friend on the back of his hard head, “I get you it, you idiot!” he screamed before settling back into a state of grump,  “I don’t understand why you are telling me all of this shit! I sure as hell don’t have anything to do with your creepy ass pining! I am not Y/N!”

Suddenly Kirishima got a hopeful look in his eye that Bakugou did not appreciate, “That’s it!”

“No.”

Kirishima laughed proudly, “I have an idea!”

Bakugou rolled his eyes once more, slightly hoping that this would be the one to end the torture, “Well, I don’t wanna hear i—”

“You can pretend to be Y/N, so I can practice how I am gonna tell her that I love her!” Kirishima threw his hands up before settling them into a gratified crossed position—a smile plastered onto his expression as if he had just had the eureka moment to solves all of life’s issues.

Bakugou was almost at a loss for words— almost. This was Katsuki Bakugou after all, “Do you ever listen to yourself, dumbass? Like really listen?”

“Oh c’mon, Bakugou! Please!”  the red head threw his hands up into a pleading position as he prayed that his friend would help him, “It’d mean the world to me. I just… I really like her. I don’t wanna mess things up. I need you to let me know if I am coming on too strong, or not strong enough. It has to be perfect for my baby girl.”

Bakugou felt a chill filled with disgust run down his spine at the corny-ass pet name, “Okay fine! But only because I don’t want your sorry ass loitering around in my room when you fuck up and get your heart broken,” he scowled.

“Yes!” Kirishima shouted as he held a victorious fist into the air, “You’re the best, man!” He suddenly fell into a bout of seriousness as his expression became determined, “Okay, picture this: I take her to the first place we kissed—the community room kitchen counter—and…”

Hold the fucking phone. Bakugou’s face shriveled into a level of disgust that he had not yet reached before.

Matter of a fact, hold all of the fucking phones. The kitchen counter? You mean the one that he uses every god damned day!?! He just ate his fucking rice at that counter!! For fucks sake.

The blond boy was hardly even listening at this point as the mental imagine of you pressed up on the counters in the downstairs kitchen buzzed around and infested his mind.

“…I am thinking I wake her up at like 3 am and set some candles down there. You know? To set the mood. And then--”

“JUST FUCK ALL THAT CORNY STUFF!” Bakugou screeched as he tried to shake the scarring sensual images out of his mind, “You storm up to her and knock her off her weak ass feet. That’s it. No kitchen, got it? Be straight up with her and don’t hold back.”

“That was… actually not terrible advice,” Kirishima gave him a small, appreciative smile.

Marginally offended, Bakugou narrowed his eyes at the red-head, “Shut up. So, what are you gonna say?”

Kirshima earnestly thought for a moment, leaving Bakugou to hold back a quip of “don’t hurt yourself” as silence engulfed the two boys. Finally, just as Bakugou was about to snap at him to hurry the hell up, Kirishima spoke up with a soft smile, “You’re a beautiful woman. You’ve made me feel like more of a man than ever. I love you,” as Kirishima finished, he tried to fight the genuine smile that spread across his expression as he searched for approval in his explosive buddy’s eyes.

He found nothing of the sort,

“LAME,” the blond buzzed and gave a thumbs down.

“What?!”

Bakugou didn’t even falter in his reasoning, “That was trash. Try again.”

Obviously a little frustrated, Kirishima searched his soul for a different choice of words. He began once more, this time a little less sure of himself, “I… think of you in everything that I do. When I am busy, when I am free-- every single thought leads me back to you. When I think of my future it always has you in it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you, Y/N.”

Once again, as Kirishima searched Bakugou’s crimson eyes he was met with a disapproving glare, “Look. If you’re not gonna take this seriously then stop fucking wasting my time,” Katsuki snapped.

“Bro, I felt good about that one!” Kirishima stood up from the bed and threw his hands in the air in frustration.

Bakugou followed him from the bed, “Do you want to win her over or not, idiot?!”

Of course Kiri did! But... He wasn’t sure if this was the way to go anymore, “W-well,”

“DO YOU WANNA WIN OR NOT, SHIT HAIR?” Bakugou barked as he shoved a rough finger into the other boys chest.

“I WANNA WIN!” Kirishima screeched with resolve, his manly aurora radiating from his being. Bakugou’s eyes were filled with fury as the two men hyped each other up,

“YEAH?”

“HELL YEAH!”

“ALRIGHT THEN!” Bakugou smirked at his handy work, “I AM Y/N FUCKING L/N! NOW, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH Y—”

“What was that noise?” Mina question from the couch beside you. Yao-Momo and Jirou also spoke up about the noise coming from upstairs, causing your heart to drop a little in mortification.

You could recognize that scream from a mile away. You sighed as your circle of friends one-by-one realized that it was indeed your boyfriend, Kirishima, making all of that noise upstairs.

Well, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. He could honestly be doing one of his workout videos…

As soon as you heard Bakugou’s voice enter the mix, your heart dropped. Well, so much for that theory. Mina spoke up, “Maybe.. you should go check on them?”

You pitifully obliged and went to check on the two knuckleheads.

You could very easily hear the deranged screaming of the feral Bakugou from the other side of his door “…NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND MAKE ME…”

You nonchalantly gave two quick knocks before twisting the doorknob and swinging the door open—fully prepared to beat some blonde and red-headed ass for making you come all the way up here.

“What are you two—” your words were caught in a gasp as you witnessed your boyfriend aggressively tackle Bakugou into a rough kiss. Your mouth instinctively opened to scream, but nothing came out but a high pitched and strained squeak.

Bakugou almost instantly blasted Kirishima in the face, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???” you had actually never heard Bakugou’s voice like this. It was almost as high pitched and frantic as yours as the smoke from his attack set the building fire alarms off. Water began pouring from spouts on the ceiling.

“K-kiri!” you exclaimed—the two boys finally recognizing your alarmed presence, “What the fuck!” you cried out in shame.

The boy’s red hair—now soaking wet—clung to his horrified expression as his face flushed into a deep red to match it, “Y-Y/N, You make me manly. Every thought, everyday leads me to my future w-with you in it… Marry me?”

“God dammit.” The sound of Bakugou slapping his forehead echoed throughout the room as water dispersed from his dripping figure.

[toogoodmusic]

THE TOO GOOD TEN with MADS LANGER

Growing up in the countryside near the small town of Skive, singer, songwriter and musician Mads Langer grew up always knowing he’d be in music. From singing songs at the age of 18 months in his own language to his latest release, “Lightning,” the new dad has been pursuing the dream for a long time now. Through honest, original and disruptive music the Danish singer has been able to be reborn time and time again through his music and continues that creativity as he looks to the release of his upcoming EP, Where Oceans Meet. The boundary pushing message of love is love in “Lightning” serves as a taste of the upcoming EP and contributes to the already 38 million streams and 506k monthly listeners he’s amassed across his career. He takes a break from his world domination to take on the latest Too Good Ten. Check out the full interview below to learn more about the latest release, “Lightning,” how becoming a dad has changed his perspective on life, how he rebounded from getting dropped by his girlfriend and label around the same time and much more.

The Too Good Ten. Ten Questions. One Artist. Too Good.

1. Looking at the beginning of your career – what was it about music that inspired you to pursue a career in it?

MADS LANGER: Expressing myself through music has been a fundamental part of my language for as long as I remember. My parents have recordings of me singing my own songs in my own language when I was 18 months old. I always knew that music was going to be my path in life. It wasn't a decision that I made at a certain time. It was more a realization that I was not gonna be able to pursue any other career even though I’ve always had plenty of other interests. I could have been in politics, in sports, in science and many other things. I could have been a teacher as my parents, my grandparents and my great grandparents were. And then again, none of these career paths were ever up for grabs. Music was and always will be my thing.

2. You got signed and had an album that you ended up describing as “flopped” and had to start over and spent time busking all over Europe. How did you come to the decision to busk in the wake of “starting over?” What did you do to keep your internal mental conversation strong through the hardships that I assume came with traveling around?

ML: I got signed when I had just turned 18. I went straight from living in my parents house, in the countryside of Denmark, to living a life full of pressure and expectations in New York City. That was quite a shocking change of scenery to be honest. Looking back, I was definitely too young at that time. When a major label first wants you it’s the end of the innocence. I had to grow up overnight and try to keep up with that big machine that started dictating how I was gonna live my life. When my first record didn't succeed commercially and I got dropped I think I saw it as an opportunity to do some of the stuff that most of my friends had done after finishing high school. But most of all that whole 6 months of busking in my old van all over Europe was an escape from heartbreak. My first girlfriend had dropped me around the same time that my label dropped me. She fell in love with a really cool guy in Paris who was older than me and he could grow a very impressive beard, hahaha…

As far as keeping my internal mental conversation strong, that's has never been problem at all and as you can imagine I had plenty of stuff to think about, write about and then finally sing about in the streets of all of these beautiful cities that I got to visit on that trip.

3. “Lightning” is the latest release and gives fans the first taste of your upcoming album Where Oceans Meet which is due out October 1st. How did you decide to release this one as the lead single? What was the inspiration behind it?

ML: In many ways, I think “Lightning” is a song that represents that certain place where the oceans meet on my album. “Lightning” is a song about recognition. When I wrote this song, I thought about all those moments in my life where I really felt recognized on a deeper level. When I met my wife. When I looked my newborn daughter in the eyes for the first time. In concerts when my music meets the audience and it feels like we're all getting struck by the same lightning. Those kinds of moments.

CHECK OUT THE FAUSTIX REMIX OF “LIGHTNING” HERE.

4. Speaking of the upcoming album – what’s the meaning behind the album title? How many songs? Any collabs? Is there a song on the album you’re nervous about releasing out to the world?

ML: Where Oceans Meet is a metaphor. The entire album circles around the different contrasts that we all face in our lives. The light, the dark. The head, the heart. Hopes and fears. It’s about loving and longing at the same time. Where Oceans Meet represents the idea of the place where all these contrasts meet and embrace each other.

5. “Lightning” follows up “Hanging With You” which peaked at #1 in Denmark radio. What’s the story behind when you first heard one of your songs on the radio? Does it ever get old?

ML: It never gets old. Every time I listen to the radio, I must admit that I hope that they will play my song. It's the best feeling ever. This might be a little far-fetched, but it's kind of like when you give someone you really care for a present for their birthday. And it's not just any kind of present. It’s a present that you put all your time, thoughts and heart into. And then one day you randomly turn on the TV. Look who's there. Is that special person that you gave the present to. She’s actually wearing that sweater that you spent five years learning how to knit. After endless attempts, you finally managed to knit a sweater that you would give her without being scared that she would think it was a joke. She’s not wearing it because she feels like she has to, because you’re on a date with her. She’s wearing it because she likes it. And she just put it on that day that she randomly got stopped by the tv-station and interviewed in the streets of your hometown. That is close to the feeling I get when I hear my songs on the radio. And no, I have no clue how to knit a sweater, but I like the image.

6. The past year in the pandemic had a lot of its own challenges but it also had some beautiful moments like the drive-in concert you organized in Denmark last May. Why did you feel it necessary to put something like this together during that time? Being the first one to do so, how did you figure out logistics, etc. for the entire event? Anything you would’ve changed about it looking back?

ML: I had just started touring when the pandemic hit us all. I had spent months preparing the show and I was extremely disappointed when I had to turn around the tour bus and go back home after only playing 10 out of 100 shows. I had a couple of weeks where I was feeling really depressed. But then I decided to see if I could turn this whole thing into some sort of an adventure. I made a list of stuff I wanted to do. On that list I had drive-in concerts for some reason. I know a couple guys who are really good at putting together big events that include live music, so we talked about how we could make this happen. All credit to them for putting logistics together. I just played the shows. I had no idea that I would be the first one in the world to do a drive in concert. But it was really fun and I would not change a thing. In my shows, everyone was on the same video conference call. I loved that because I could talk to the people in the cars in between the songs. The people in their cars requested what songs of mine that they wanted to hear. And often they had really personal stories to the songs that I never heard before. So that was something that I will never forget.

7. The past year also brought about a new baby for you – congrats! What’s been the most surprising thing about having a baby that you might not have known before?

ML: Thank you so much. Yeah, that's truly a life changing event. My little daughter is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm so grateful that I got to receive a little soul with my wife. Even though it has happened billions and billions of times already it still feels like a miracle. I think the biggest surprise is the fact that your whole perspective changes in the blink of an eye. She is now the single most important thing in my life. I thought that would be something that would happen gradually, but for me it really happened at the moment that she was born.

8. What do you hope to accomplish with your music in the future that you may feel you have not done already? Have any of those goals or aspirations shifted with the new addition to the family?

ML: I really hope that people will recognize themselves in my songs. Obviously, the goal is that my songs will travel and become part of people's lives in new territories. I have spent so much time in the US since I moved away from home. I lived in New York City and in Los Angeles and I spend at least three or four months a year in the US working with all the talented people that I have met over the years. Building an audience in the US is a huge dream of mine. Hopefully this album will help introducing me to people all over America.

9. If you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life, who would they be?

ML: 

The Beatles

Pink Floyd

Keith Jarrett

Mozart

Radiohead

10. What’s the rest of 2021 and beyond look like for Mads Langer?

ML: My album comes out in October. That is obviously a huge event in my life, and it looks like I'm going to be very busy talking about the album and singing the songs from it in many different places all over the world. Apart from that I will be changing diapers on my newborn daughter. Kissing my wife. Learning Chinese and writing my first score for a movie that comes out in 2022.

A HUGE shout-out to the talented Mads Langer for hanging for this latest Too Good Ten interview. Keep up to date with everything he has going on by following the links below and be sure to be on the look out for his latest EP, Where Oceans Meet due out October 1st. 

SOCIAL LINKS:

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

YouTube

MUSIC:

Apple Music

Spotify

[whereistheonepiece]

So @lesbian-space-ranger​ and I accidentally created a new Zosan AU that we’ve been talking about since last night. A note: half of this is me summarizing, half of it is pulled directly from Discord because Cas (lesbian-space-ranger) has such great ideas.

This is a long post. I don’t feel like putting it under a read more. So. Enjoy. Or keep scrolling. Either works.

So this post happened

These roles just came to me. Didn’t need to give it much thought because Sanji has the appearance and demeanor of a lead singer and I like the idea of him using his skilled hands to play piano at the same time.

I also watched the movie Rocketman earlier in the week. You know, that Elton John biopic. I adored it and it’s been heavy on my mind lately and I liked the idea of Sanji giving a high energy performance from the piano. (Sir Elton John’s music comes into play later.)

And as for Zoro, I find the bass and/or the beat the sexiest part of the music in a song and, naturally, I can see him rocking at either.

So I asked Cas if she had any other headcanons for this AU and this thing is too good to not share.

Yeah, so Zoro and Sanji are in a boy band with Usopp and Luffy. Luffy started the band. Luffy does guitar, Zoro is on bass, Usopp is on drums, and Sanji is on keyboard and vocals.

Nami is their manager. She works them hard and has taken a 40% cut of the profits because of the guys’ naivete and inexperience. But she’s why they took off. She booked their gigs at every venue she could manage, no matter how small.

They got their big break when Nami met Vivi, who’s a talent scout for the record label Baroque Works. Nami insisted that Vivi had to see the boys perform because they’re something else and Vivi’s heard that a thousand times, but she agreed because Nami is cute. Nami and Vivi are dating. Also, re Baroque Works: Crocodile looks like a sleazy music producer, doesn’t he? So does Doflamingo.

So Sanji is the pretty one, Luffy is the funny one, Zoro is the quiet/broody one, and Usopp is the smart one.

Zoro has a lot of deals with fitness brands, but secretly finds the famous life unfulfilling. This comes back later, so keep that in your back pocket.

Robin runs their social media. She’s so good at her job, running all of their accounts and tweeting simultaneously, you’d swear she had four sets of hands. Wink.

Franky does pyrotechnics/lighting.

Brook is their stylist.

Chopper was their first real fan. He and Zoro grew up in the same neighborhood and Chopper just always idolized him. He followed them before anyone knew their names. He was their hype man, saying encouraging things like "I know you guys are gonna be great!" He believed in them even when they didn't believe in themselves.

Usopp set up their recordings before they got signed because he’s savvy. And then Chopper would sell their crappy CDs. At these tiny gigs. Like coffeehouses and stuff.

Sanji can play keyboard because his parents forced him to play piano as a kid. They had this idea that classical music would teach him discipline and make him smarter. This is how he meets Zeff. Zeff’s your typical stern instructor, but he’s the first adult to ask Sanji what he actually wants and likes. Zeff sees Sanji’s not into it so he asks him what music he likes and Sanji tells him he likes pop, so Zeff gives Sanji a more rounded education. This includes Elton John because I say so. It did inspire me to put Sanji on keyboard, after all.

But other than being Sanji’s piano instructor, Zeff becomes the one positive adult figure in young Sanji’s life and he becomes something of a mentor figure for him. Zeff has a garden and he lets Sanji work in it with him. This garden is how Sanji gets his “little eggplant” nickname. Sanji pulls an eggplant out before it’s ready and it’s so small and pitiful and Zeff won’t let him live it down. Like, Sanji keeps in touch with Zeff even into adulthood and after he makes it big and he still calls Sanji little eggplant.

Zoro and Sanji are always doing that, "Kind of flirting, not really” thing on stage.  Sanji is always like walking up to Zoro on stage and acting like he's going to kiss him but pushing him away at the last moment. And it's this huge mystery whether they're actually an item or not. This comes from Nami. Sanji and Zoro have this natural chemistry with each other that leads to speculation and Nami, knowing how boy band fan bases work, saw dollar signs. But it’s not just pragmatism on her part; she knows that one cannot simply go up to Zoro and Sanji and say “You obviously like each other. You should date.” So she makes money and helps her friends find happiness.

Usopp has speculation going on as well. People are always confused as to who he’s dating. Tabloids keep being like "Usopp dumped Nami and is now dating Luffy!" "Luffy Scorned?" "Luffy ditches Usopp and steals his girl!" And they just think the entire thing is hilarious. They collect headlines. The answer is Usopp is dating Luffy and Nami and Luffy and Nami just become really affectionate with each other after dating Usopp long enough. Also Nami is dating Vivi, like I mentioned, and sometimes Nami brings her on as a plus one. 

Sanji and Zoro keep giving conflicting answers about their relationship status. Like they'll tell one person they hate each other and another person they're gonna get married someday. Sanji has to walk this fine line of being "in love" with all of his female fans and also "in love" with Zoro. Or not. Who knows? Like Sanji enjoys the attention but he really really plays shit up for his fangirls. This makes Sanji even more popular. Just picture pages upon pages of Sanji/Reader and “Zanji” fics on Wattpad. Nami is one smart lady. "I am the smartest, prettiest, most clever person alive."

Zosan getting together really is just a bunch of Fake Dating tropes. At first it really is just to get more press for the band. Nami schemes with Usopp and Robin to push them together. Robin's a social media genius and knows how to craft tweets and Instagram posts that fans will overanalyze. 

Meanwhile eventually Zoro and Sanji admit to each other they have actual feelings and one day Usopp finds Sanji sleeping in Zoro's bed, both of them completely tuckered out. But they don’t know Nami crafted this. They just come clean and hope she won't be mad and she's like, "Yes! Finally!" and they're like "What?" and she's like, "I've been waiting for you two to realize you have actual feelings. Did you really think I'd just use you for profit like that?" and they're both like "Yes" "Of course"

Zoro’s mad at her for meddling. Secretly he’s grateful, but he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction and he’s yelling until Sanji grabs his hand and he just calms down.

And to bring Elton John back into the picture, just picture Sanji doing a cover of “Your Song” and uploading it online and thinking about Zoro. Naturally the comments are abuzz with people speculating that he’s singing about Zoro. And like. Onstage Sanji does his rendition and sends these small glances Zoro’s way, partially because he knows it’ll get the band a lot of attention, partially because that song is sweet and beautiful and it’s such a simple way to explain his feelings. (There is a reason why Moulin Rouge included it!!) I imagine this happens before they come clean to each other. Like, Zoro comes to him and is all “I keep thinking about that song you did...” And they go from there.

And eventually the band comes to its natural end. 

Usopp goes solo and flourishes, working as a songwriter and a producer. He wrote the band’s songs and he’s had a drum kit since he was, like, ten and he can make his own beats. He’s not the singing type (though he is good at it and could reach new heights if he came out of his shell), so he’s the kind of artist who makes the beat and then gets super famous pop singers to feature on his tracks. But he also writes songs for other singers and is so good at it and produces other artists’ tracks. I also like the idea that he’s taught himself to play multiple instruments, but he prefers the drums/percussion. He totally played percussion in school and was in marching band. I was in marching band for one year. I loathed every second of it, but I know he’d be phenomenal in drum corps.

Luffy isn’t much in music anymore, but he keeps himself busy. He’s something of an influencer, the kind of celebrity who gets paid to wear fashion brands’ clothing. He’s also Usopp’s trophy husband, living off the money he made off the band. Usopp grew wise to Nami’s antics and made sure he and Luffy would live comfortably for the rest of their lives, even if Usopp were to retire. Luffy also is secretly a Buzzfeed journalist because it’s fun for him to write these hit articles and people not know it’s him because he’s writing on this super bland pseudonym. 

And then there’s Zosan. They have a falling out after the band splits and go their separate ways.

Sanji quits being a professional singer because he’s tired of the prying into his personal life, but he still mentors and/or teaches. He has a string of girlfriends and finds no fulfillment in those relationships because the women are only interested in his celebrity.

And they aren’t Zoro.

Zoro tried branching off into commercials for fitness, but his heart wasn’t in it. He kind of takes up ranching on a whim and learns that he’s really good at it. He likes the physical labor, the quiet, being away from it all, nobody knowing his name. He doesn’t pursue anyone after Sanji because he feels like if it’s meant to be, someone will appear.

And Sanji does.

Sanji finds out where Zoro is through Luffy. So he makes his way to the ranch and finds Zoro and Sanji is all “Come back. I miss you.”

And there’s just a lot of soft Zosan content during Sanji’s visit. Sanji’s always been afraid of horses, but he’s not afraid when he’s with Zoro, and Zoro teaches him they can be gentle creatures, it’s just that you just have to respect them. (Ha. Get it?) Zoro takes Sanji on a ride and they go out and he takes him up the mountain and shows him how beautiful the view is. Sanji's watching the sunset and he's like, "Damn that's the prettiest thing I've ever seen." And Zoro is looking at Sanji and he says, "It sure is." And Sanji's like, "you're not... even looking." And Zoro's like, "No, I'm looking alright. Prettiest thing I've ever seen for sure."

More soft things like Zoro taking off his cowboy hat and putting it on Sanji. Them sitting by the fire, Zoro playing acoustic while Sanji sings. Whenever people see them they’ll ask them if they’re musicians and they share a knowing smile and say “Yeah. Something like that.”

And Zoro convinces Sanji to move out there with him. The others come to visit. Luffy and Chopper are obsessed with the cows and horses and the chickens. Luffy wants, like, eight pet chickens. Usopp is skeptical. Doesn’t believe Lu can look after a pet.

And it kind of ends there. It was us going back and forth, oftentimes out of chronological order, and so here I am putting it all together because it’s too good not to share. But it was a lot of fun.

[zen3to5]

J/H 4-14: Jackie Says Cheese

Following production order, the next few episodes - "Red and Stacey," "Eric's Hot Cousin," "The Third Wheel," and "An Eric Forman Christmas" all remain unchanged in this timeline. I imagine some of you are surprised "The Third Wheel" didn't come in for a rewrite, and I watched it multiple times looking for an opening myself, but nothing jumped out at me. "Jackie Says Cheese," on the other hand...

(This is another one that was only partially re-written. Some re-written scenes are sequential, and some aren't; you'll know those by the *** separating them. Enough material is the same that I think anyone familiar with the episode can recognize the context for all of these. Just to get us all on the same page: imagine the episode playing out as you know it up until the second scene dealing with Thomas...)

FF.Net AO3

***

INT. HUB - DAY   THOMAS continues to make his own mark as the “foreign kid:” he sits at a round table with TWO PRETTY GIRLS. Over at the wall table, FEZ watches with cold disapproval, while KELSO eats. “Long, Long Way from Home” by Foreigner plays on the jukebox.   THOMAS: (laughing) I don’t know. I’ve just always been good-looking.   He and the girls laugh some more.   FEZ: (to Kelso) Look at that foreign bastard. Cracking up the whores.   KELSO: Yup. That is one sexy accent.   FEZ: Hey, if I pretend to say something funny, will you laugh?   KELSO: What would you pretend to say?   Fez snorts and looks back to Thomas.   FEZ: That Thomas is shady. (to Kelso) And have you noticed he never says what country he’s from?   KELSO: (beat) What country are you from?   FEZ: What country are you from?   KELSO: America.   FEZ: Fine, mystery solved.   He scoffs and turns back to stewing.

***   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   A quiet afternoon. HYDE reads in his chair, DONNA reads on the couch, and JACKIE paces up and down the room.   Kelso enters through the basement door.   KELSO: Hey.   Jackie immediately crosses to him.   JACKIE: Michael, I’m broke! I had to buy generic hair conditioner. And now, I have split ends.   KELSO: Well, no one is gonna notice that, baby.   HYDE: (to Jackie) Yeah, they’ll all be looking at that monster zit.   Kelso shrugs, nods, and takes a seat on the couch.   JACKIE: (to Hyde) I have to ration my cover-up. (to Kelso) So find a job already!   KELSO: I’m trying, okay? It’s tough out there.   HYDE: Kelso, you’ve been down here in the basement all day, reading the funnies.   KELSO: And the next page over’s the want ads! I’m getting to it!   Jackie glares down at Kelso, who tries not to look guilty.   DONNA: What about that new store at the mall? The Cheese Palace.   HYDE: “Where curd is king?”   DONNA: The very same.   KELSO: Nah. I saw that place. They’re only hiring for cheese maidens to hand out the free samples. Girl maidens. You know, with boobs and stuff.   Donna looks up at Jackie.   DONNA: Hey, you know who’s an actual girl with boobs and stuff?   JACKIE: Oh, Donna, you don’t have to get a job just for me.   DONNA: I was talking about you, pimple-chin.   JACKIE: Oh, no, no, no, no. I am not getting a job. A job is for poor people. I am a rich person who doesn’t have money. Big diff.   Donna and Hyde roll their eyes.   Kelso looks up at Jackie, leans closer.   KELSO: Hey, is that a blackhead?   Jackie recoils at the thought.   JACKIE: NOOOOOO!   CUT TO:   INT. MALL – DAY   On a mildly busy shopping day, Jackie stands in the courtyard, in full cheese maiden attire, with a tray of free samples. She meekly offers it up to passers-by, who all ignore her.   JACKIE: Cheddar? Cheddar? Cheddar?   FADE TO BLACK   COMMERCIAL   BUMPER   MUSIC NOTE: “Working in the Coal Mine” by Lee Dorsey.   INT. MALL – DAY   Right where we left off. Jackie keeps offering her cheese samples to patrons, none of whom seem interested. But for each effort, Jackie has a rhyme.   JACKIE: Try the Swiss. You can’t miss. Try the Cheddar. It’s even better.   Hyde comes around the corner and stops by Jackie. He looks down at the floor.   HYDE: The floor’s real shiny, and I see your heinie.   Jackie groans, hits him in the chest.   HYDE: Hey, the cheese maiden hit me! Cheese guards, seize her!   JACKIE: God, this job is awful! I’m starting to glisten!   HYDE: You mean, sweat?   JACKIE: No. Girls don’t sweat. Sweating is for boys and pigs. Girls glisten.   HYDE: Like a Christmas ham.   Undeterred by Jackie’s glare, he helps himself to some cheese samples.   JACKIE: Where is Michael? The only reason I have this job is so he and I can be together.   HYDE: In the basement, eating Fritos. (Jackie gasps) Yeah, if he sends in 80 empty Frito bags, he gets a remote-control car.   JACKIE: I’m working for our love, and he’s trying to get a toy car?   HYDE: (shrugs) Hey, bright side is, all that “glisten’s” pushed that blackhead out.   Jackie’s hand goes to her chin as Hyde takes some more cheese.   BUMPER   INT. BASEMENT – DAY   As Donna and Kelso watch TV (Kelso with a bag of Fritos), Fez paces up and down the room, muttering to himself.   FEZ: Thomas. Thomas. Thomas!   He stops, leans on the back of Hyde’s chair.   FEZ (cont’d): What I have to do is show everyone that I am cooler than Thomas. You know, I once saw the Fonzie do something on TV that just might do the trick.   CUT TO:   EXT. BEACH – DAY   FANTASY SEQUENCE. The whole gang, plus Thomas and the two girls from earlier, are gathered on a pier. Fez is the Fonz, complete with leather jacket, while everyone else is dressed for the beach.   FEZ: I am now going to jump over a shark on water skis to prove that I’m the coolest foreign exchange student in Point Place.   THOMAS: (scoffs) He’ll never make it.   DONNA: Shut up. He can do it. He’s – the Fez!   The gang all nod in support.   FEZ: Okay. Here I go. Hit it.   And off he goes, to a series of obviously blue-screened shots miming water skiing and stock footage of a great white shark. Fez takes time to break the fourth wall with a smile and a thumbs up.   Back at the pier, the gang cluster together, Donna holding onto ERIC and Jackie surrounded by Hyde and Kelso.   ERIC: He’s crazy, man! He’s crazy!   HYDE: He’s at the ramp!   An even more artificial shot fakes the act of jumping the shark as Fez cries out in triumph. Cut to him climbing back onto the pier and receiving congratulatory cheers, pats, punches, and hugs by the gang and Thomas’s two girls.   JACKIE: You suck, Thomas!   Thomas’s face runs with artificial sitcom tears.   ERIC: Fez, you jumped that shark, and you’re not even wet.   FEZ: That’s ‘cause I’m cool-a-mundo. Ai!   He gives two thumbs up and grins.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   Back to reality. Fez is grinning here too. He looks down at Donna and Kelso.   FEZ: What do you think?   DONNA: Not only is that the worst idea I’ve ever heard, it was the worst moment in television history.   FEZ: (beat) Yeah, you’re right. I stopped watching after that episode.   KELSO: I kinda liked it.   Donna gives him a long stare; he inches away from her.   FEZ: THOMAS!   And back to pacing he goes.   ***   EXT. ROAD – NIGHT   Kelso’s Samba out on the dark backwoods’ streets. Fez is behind the wheel, Kelso in the passenger’s seat, and Thomas right behind them, an arm on either chair.   THOMAS: How exciting. My first American road trip. I can’t wait to see Lake Dillhole.   Fez, with a small, sly grin, pulls over and puts her in park.   FEZ: Well, the wait is over. We’re here. (to Thomas) Now, hop out, you crazy son of a gun.   Thomas, beaming, jumps out of the van. Kelso takes a careful look around the area.   KELSO: This is the Michigan border.   FEZ: Well, what do you know?   Thomas looks in through the drivers’ side window.   THOMAS: So where is Lake Dillhole?   FEZ: (pointing) Oh, it’s right there, behind the Get Bent Memorial. So, get bent, dill-hole!   He throws the van back into drive and takes off down the road. He and Kelso share a quiet laugh.   KELSO: That was a sweet burn, man.   FEZ: You don’t have to tell me.   KELSO: (beat) I don’t wanna take away from your moment, but we did just leave a high school kid stranded in the middle of nowhere, and his host parents are probably gonna want to look for him. (beat) And the cops.   He and Fez share a look. Fez spins the wheel, and they both lurch as the van turns around.   CUT TO:   INT. MALL – NIGHT   Jackie on the night shift. She continues to fail at drawing in samplers. Donna watches her with a big smile from the rim of a large plant pot, while Hyde stands just off to her side, sneaking cheese samples as she tries to solicit shoppers.   JACKIE: (to patrons) The Gouda’s so good-a. The Havarti’s a party.   Hyde reaches for a sample further down the tray. Jackie slaps his hand away.   JACKIE (cont’d): Quit it! Steven, why do you keep eating all my cheese?   HYDE:  We’re in Wisconsin. (takes a bite) Hey, this Havarti is a party!   He motions for Donna to come over. She joins them and takes a sample herself.   JACKIE: Oh, my God, this is awful! A few minutes ago, I smelled stinky cheese. And it was me!   HYDE: Hey, I stink after work too. Of course, that stink’s got nothing to do with work. And ganja ain’t no Gouda.   Jackie shakes her head, passes him the whole cheese tray and starts to walk away. Hyde and Donna follow.   HYDE (cont’d): Come on, Jackie. This can’t be that bad.   DONNA: Yeah. And you got this job so you could be with Kelso. I mean, doesn’t that make it satisfying?   JACKIE: NO!   Kelso and Fez come around the corner. Kelso smiles at Jackie, but she holds a finger up before he can say a word.   JACKIE (cont’d): Michael, I love you, but I am not cut out for work. I’m cut out for having rich people give me things. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.   Just as she says this, her MANAGER comes up behind her and presents her with an envelope. He walks back into the store as Jackie opens it up.   JACKIE (cont’d): Oh, my gosh. It’s a check! And that’s my name! Mine!   She shows it off to Hyde, bobbing on her feet. Kelso starts to bob too.   KELSO: (to Jackie) All right, so we can stay together!   JACKIE: Yeah, and I can still be rich!   KELSO: Yeah! You know, we deserve a celebration. Hey, let’s go buy me a remote-control car.   JACKIE: No, Michael. Money doesn’t grow on trees. (gasps) Money doesn’t grow on trees. You know, I think having a job is changing me. Okay, think about it: a whole new me.   HYDE, FEZ, DONNA, & KELSO: (beat) That’d be great.   Jackie pouts at them all, takes back her cheese tray, and heads out into the courtyard.

[charlotte-codes]

This, Charlotte, is the internet ...

It was September 30th: day one, week one. 

I cycled across Bristol that Monday morning with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. I am not a seasoned city cyclist, so crossing the leviathan of roadworks at rush-hour was my first test.

Arriving at the DevelopMe offices unscathed, I quickly found my seat. Although we’d all met the week before at a social event organised by DevelopMe (a brilliant idea because I was less nervous having already met some of my fellow classmates) the room was very quiet and you could feel the tension of 12 career-changers psyching themselves up for what was ahead. 

Our teacher for the week was Keir, whose enthusiasm and sense of humour made us all feel relaxed and at home very quickly.

We started with a brief introduction to the internet. 

Now, I knew that the internet was not contained in a small black box à la the IT Crowd, but I had never really considered its complexity: a global network of computers that can communicate with one another at sub-second speeds is something that takes a while to get your head around.  

Although the fundamentals of the internet are fairly easy to digest, thinking about it too much at this point in my understanding is like thinking about the expanding universe - enough to make my brain explode and ooze out of my ears. So, we’re gonna leave that one for another day.

In the meantime, let’s talk about HTML and CSS, our topics for the first fortnight. This post will be an overview of what we learnt, I’ll get into the details in separate posts later on. 

HTML (Hypertext Markup Language)

The phrase that has stuck in my mind from our first week at bootcamp is ‘Progressive Enhancement and Graceful Degradation’ - which sounds suspiciously like a general life lesson, or an advert for a skincare range. For our purposes, it’s a way of making sure that every user can access the fundamental parts of your website no matter what browser they use or how slow their internet connection.

The first few days concentrated on writing HTML, which contains the important ‘content’ of the webpage. CSS is used to make it look good and also deals with accessibility. We’ll get into Javascript later, but that allows user interactivity. All three together constitute Front End development. My beginners understanding of this is that a Front End specialist works on the client-side stuff you see and interact with - whilst a Back End specialist works on the server-side stuff you don’t. A Full Stack developer does both.

In terms of HTML, you can split your code up like a human body: at the top is a <head> tag wherein you store all the metadata. Just like a human head, you can’t see what’s going on in there on the webpage itself, but it contains important behind-the-scenes information. The part of the page you see online is the <body> and you can dress this up however you want using CSS. 

Within the body you’ll probably have a <header>, a <main> and a <footer>, which are fairly self-explanatory ways to break up a page. A lot of this stuff comes from traditional methods in printing, so if you imagine your page layout a bit like a newspaper, then considering how to split it up seems logical: for instance, you’ll probably further divide your page up into articles, sections and asides.

Within these sections you’ll have tags for various elements like paragraphs <p>, images <img/>, links <a>, headings <h1>, <h2>, buttons <button> and so on: again, it’s all wonderfully logical. Here’s some I wrote earlier - this is just part of the <header> on my home page: 

The above example is also styled and for the majority of the first fortnight of bootcamp we got to grips with CSS. 

CSS (Cascading Style Sheets)

CSS is a little trickier, mainly because there are SO MANY THINGS and you have to think about accessibility and responsiveness (i.e how a screen-reader will understand your code and what it will look like on desktop and mobile devices - this requires the use of @media queries, which I’ve grown to really like because it is SO satisfying when they work properly).

Potentially one of the biggest challenges I found in CSS was positioning things evenly. When you start fiddling about with margins and padding, and forgetting what you’ve fiddled with, you start seeing issues arising on the page: maybe it’s an <h2> that just won’t align with the image underneath; or maybe it’s a <nav> bar that is squishing all the menu items too close together, and pushing them all a little off-centre.

Now, I’m mildly neurotic when it comes to visuals. I’m trained in visual analysis and I’ve spent the best part of the last decade explaining the composition of paintings and other images - why they have a central focal point, or why they don’t etc. etc. Positioning stuff correctly and with meaning is important to me.

So I became particularly enamoured with flexbox and CSS grid (and not just because I enjoyed playing Flexbox Froggy and Grid Garden). These do a large percentage of the positioning legwork for you and I found myself using them a lot for the project work that we did in the second week.

Some excellent resources for these can be found here:

https://css-tricks.com/snippets/css/a-guide-to-flexbox/

https://css-tricks.com/snippets/css/complete-guide-grid/

Week 2: More CSS and SASS

In week 2 we worked on a sample project.

The brief was to practice our HTML and CSS skills by building a pretend portfolio site for a commercial photographer. Our teacher this week was Ruth, who was also super cool and put us all at ease instantly.

The project consisted of a home page with a grid of featured photos and a nav that turned into a burger menu when reduced to a small screen. We also had to create a gallery page, a blog page (and a sample page for one blog post) and a contact page (to practice HTML forms). 

One of the main focuses of week 2 was using SASS to organise our code so that we didn’t have to repeat ourselves throughout the site.

At first I didn’t get on with SASS (it felt complicated). But being a fan of flexboxes, I spent some time creating a mixin that I was particularly proud of so that I didn’t have to create new flexboxes all the time (a mixin is like a function that can be reused by passing values into the variables - in this case, $justify, $align and $flexDirection):

Turns out SASS is super useful. 

And being a bit of a neat freak, I enjoyed putting all my code into separate files and tidying everything up. 

I was pretty proud of my site by the end of the week:

home page ... big screen

two sample posts on the blog page ... 

Every Friday, we have an individual review with one of the course organisers so that we can discuss how we are getting on. Both weeks I mentioned that I was tired, but in a good way! I was getting great feedback from my teachers too.

So far, so good. 

Downtime

Learning new information day after day is super tiring and it’s important to have a break at the weekends. 

So I’ve been kind to myself and made sure I get out into nature on Saturdays and Sundays and away from my desk. The temptation just to work through is there all the time - I love what I’m doing, so it doesn’t feel like work and I have to drag myself away from it in the evenings and at weekends. This can only be a good thing though, right?! 

The entire cohort are so friendly and everyone gets on really well. A few of us finished the first fortnight with a celebratory drink at Bocabar. 

Next week ... Javascript ... bring it on!  

[freedom-shamrock]

Bi the Pricking of my Thumbs #5

<< Chapter 4

Cautionary note: references past abusive/neglectful parenting.

Also on AO3. If you’re so inclined, feel free to support me over on Ko-Fi

Chapter 5

"Adrien! Nino's here," Papa's voice carried easily into Marinette's room. "Come down and help him carry up the snacks."

"Ooh!" Despite the last three weeks of freedom to eat, do, and be what he wanted, Adrien was still visibly excited about both the arrival of his boyfriend and unlimited Dupain-Cheng treats. "Coming, Papa."

Luka draped their arms over Marinette's shoulders, brushing their cheeks together. "It's nice to see him so happy."

"I know." She smiled, contentedly leaning against them. "Getting to be part of that really makes it all worth it." Adrien had the smaller bedroom, formerly the Dupain-Cheng guest room, and he insisted he didn't mind at all. But it was nice for them to have a place to hang out, all the teens that tended to show up usually in twos and threes, that didn't feel like they were taking over the living room. So Marinette rearranged part of her room, letting Adrien decorate it with beanbags and a ridiculous TV set up for movies and gaming.

"Is it weird having him as your brother now?" Luka asked, giving her temple a light kiss. "I mean, you had a crush on him for a couple of years, and he had a crush on Ladybug for about as long."

Marinette shook her head. "That all died down a long time ago, and he's been such a good friend to me on both sides of the mask." It had been a little terrifying when Luka first told her they'd figured out she was Ladybug. She was grateful they'd waited until after Hawk Moth was in police custody to reveal they'd known almost as long as they'd known each other. They'd also known Adrien's secret, but waited to bring it up until she knew. She and Adrien had decided to keep their superhero identities on a need-to-know basis, for now, at least, and most people didn't need to know.

"No, no, no," Adrien said from somewhere just below her bedroom door. "You go up first."

"You just want to watch me walk away," Nino teased.

"And your point is?" Adrien demanded.

Marinette could imagine his expression and the shrug he'd always used at Chat Noir, but never as Adrien. She giggled and crossed her arms so she could comfortably rest her hands on Luka's shoulders.

"Goodness he's more direct and sassy than he used to be," Luka said, smothering their own laugh in her shoulder. "That's nice, too.  No more guessing where he stands or what he wants."

"Hurry up, boys," Marinette called. "It's going to start in less than a minute, and I don't think we want to miss any of this."

Two sets of feet thudded up the stairs, as both Nino and Adrien carried up platters of treats, to set beside the TV. Adrien looked at Luka and Marinette, and she caught a glimpse of his plotting-Chat-Noir face. He swiftly flopped into the beanbag beside them, patting the space in front of him. "I saved a spot for you Neen."

Nino looked and rolled his eyes. "My butt is not nearly as small as Nettie's.  I'm not gonna fit there."

"I'll have you know," Marinette pointed out, "that my butt is bigger than it looks."

Adrien snorted with laughter. "You're not wrong. Henceforth I shall call thee…"

"No!  Absolutely not!" Marinette squirmed in Luka's hold to bat at Adrien's hand. "I will not answer to Ladybutt."

Luka buried their face in her neck, but she could feel them shaking with laughter.

Adrien flashed her the saddest kitten face is his repertoire. Then he turned it on Nino. "Come cuddle with me," he whined. "My sister is being so mean to me in this difficult time. I'm just a touch starved boy in need of emotional support."

Nino tipped his head back to look at the ceiling, before his posture sagged. "Fine." He drew the word out. "But we need to talk to your therapist about using your past trauma to manipulate your boyfriend."

"Yes!" Adrien moved back to provide a little more room. "I am your barnacle.  Come be my ship."

Marinette couldn't hold back the gales of laughter and she didn't even try.

"Dude…" Nino's face was red. "You can't just say shit like that." He settled into his designated spot, not seeming to mind being pulled back against his cuddly boyfriend.

The news show returned from its commercial break, and Marinette snatched up the remote to unmute the audio.

"Welcome to today's first segment of Face to Face, I'm your host Nadja Chamack." The familiar news anchor sat on her pristine couch, but there was no one across from her, signaling that this would not be her usual show. "I'm breaking from format tonight to share a recorded interview with Adrien Agreste from last night. As all of Paris is aware, Adrien's father, Gabriel Agreste was apprehended at Paris Pride Fortnight last month by none other than Ladybug and Chat Noir. With the revelation that Monsieur Agreste was the villain Hawk Moth, the value of his fashion house plummeted, and his son vanished from the public eye." She looked straight into the camera, all good humor wiped off her face, an effect that was creepy. "Last night, Adrien shared with me a story of a broken home. Please be advised that the content of this video includes a frank discussion of child abuse which may be distressing to some viewers."

The camera focused on Nadja's screen, where photos and videos were usually displayed.  And after a moment, the studio faded in from black, revealing Adrien sitting on the guest couch.

"Thank you for meeting with me Adrien," Nadja said, her voice much less chipper than usual.

Adrien nodded. "Thank you for having me.  And for being willing to do this on my terms." Being able to record the show, instead of performing it live, had been his therapist's suggestion for keeping his anxiety at bay.

Nadja smiled, tipping her head slightly. "First, I wish to offer my condolences. This must be a very difficult time."

"It's weird," Adrien admitted. "It's both difficult but also the easiest thing I've ever done." His hand came up to rub at the back of his neck.

"Can you tell me what's difficult about it?" she asked gently.

"It's... " He stared off into space a moment. "It's hard to wrap your head around something like this. I mean. I knew my father was not a particularly nice man. But I had no idea he was Hawk Moth. It's... " He huffed. "I ask myself at least ten times a day why I didn't see it, how I didn't realize I was living with a terrorist."

"That does sound really difficult," Nadja agreed. "But you know Paris doesn't blame you, right?"

He gave her a rueful smile. "Thank you. I appreciate it every time someone tells me that." He shrugged. "I guess I'm harder on myself than everyone else is."

"What about the situation has been easy for you?" Nadja asked.

"I'm actually happier than I've ever been." Adrien's real smile lit up the screen. "One of my very best friends had already asked her parents if I could move in with them before the arrest."

"Before?" Nadja asked.

Adrien nodded. "Things were… not good living with my father. And she'd seen that, and made a contingency plan for me." He chuckled. "That's just sort of the way she is."

Luka snorted.

"Shush, you." Marinette poked him gently in the thigh.

"And after the arrest, it really made the most sense to just go with that plan." Contentment was clear on TV Adrien's face. "I haven't had a real family since… well… possibly ever. I mean, things were better when my mom was around, but my father was already so controlling, even back then. When she vanished, it just got worse." He sighed. "I have new parents now. We're working on the adoption process."

"Adoption?" Nadja asked in surprise. "Aren't you seventeen? Why would you look at adoption at this point?"

"Do you have a family, Nadja?" he asked softly.

She nodded.

"I really, really want that," he explained. "And I want to know that I'm going to have that for the rest of my life. I love having people I can call mama and papa. I never called my father that. There was… a lot of distance between us. A lot of neglect and unreasonable expectations. I know Papa is proud of me. There was no way Gabriel Agreste was ever going to be proud of me."

"Gabriel neglected you?" she asked. It was clearly the first she'd heard this detail.

Marinette reached out to rest a hand on Adrien's shoulder as the TV version of himself nodded. "It was common to go weeks without seeing him, though we lived in the same house. I ate meals alone, when we were scheduled to eat together. He forgot about my birthdays and stopped celebrating holidays that were important to my mom. He'd promise to show up for things, only to no-show. If I got upset about anything, he'd tell me I was too emotional, and threatened to take away what few freedoms I had.  School was a common one."

Nadja stared at him, silent for a moment. "He threatened you because you had emotions?"

Adrien nodded.

"And… school? What do you mean?  How did he use that as a threat?"

"I was homeschooled for years, you know," he said, conversational and bright. "I begged to go to school so I could make friends. I felt like Pinoccio, a puppet who wanted to be a real boy. I actually had to run away to school, repeatedly, before he let me attend." He sighed. "But I think he just wanted leverage.  The threat of pulling me out of school would get me to cooperate with all sorts of stuff I didn't want to do."

Nadja covered her mouth, looking ill.

"Did she throw up during your interview?" Nino asked. His voice was rougher than usual. Even though he'd already heard all of this, it was still upsetting him.

"No… well, not while I was there," Adrien said. "But it gets better here." He pointed to the screen.

"You're incredibly resilient, Adrien," Nadja said softly. "How about you tell me about your clothes." She gestured to his outfit. "This is a new look for you, and it looks fantastic."

On-screen Adrien grinned and stood up to give the camera the full effect. "Yeah. This was made by my best friend. She has an online shop by the name of Maribug, and she's designed a whole new wardrobe for me."

"It's quite striking," Nadja said. "Much more vibrant than what we've grown accustomed to."

Adrien nodded. "Yeah. My father used to tightly control what I was allowed to wear. He wanted me to project an image of bland perfection. Maribug really knows me, though. And since my father deprived me of the opportunity to come out during Pride, she's created some outfits that fit my aesthetic preferences while also evoking the bi pride flag."  The shirt was a pink asymmetric v-neck, with an off-center front zip. His belt was a bold purple. His pants were bright blue and snug, showing off the body Chat Noir had built up.

"Oh," Nadja said in surprise. "Congratulations."

Adrien swiped the remote and muted it again. "The rest is just niceties. You've all heard me say goodbye before."

"You meant it when you said you were happy, right?" Nino asked, twisting to look at his boyfriend.

Adrien nodded. "Really, really happy," he promised.

"I'm glad for you," Luka said. "You deserve it."

"Now that, that's out of the way," Adrien said, leaning forward and nudging the DVD player. "It's time to introduce you all to Nanatsu no Taizai. You're gonna love it."

⁂

Again, huge thanks to @galahadwilder for letting me have a go at this. I really enjoyed it, and it was nice to get to share this side of Pride.

And thanks to all who have read and commented, helping me stay motivated to finish this despite my busy schedule. I'm glad you joined me for this journey.

[maserati-yokota]

AJW We Are Running Thru Korakuen Hall 5/26/91 Commercial Tape

This one has links! So you know I'm not making this shit up!

Suzuka Minami & Takako Inoue & Cynthia Moreno vs. Bison Kimura & Mika Takahashi & Miori Kamiya part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb9L6-ybHoc part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Ok-L8g3Jc Kamiya gets to work tossing Suzuka around before getting piledriven into pudding. Moreno tags in and man it's a shame she was perpetually disrespected by this company. Moreno was a treasure, you rubes. Bison is in full beast mode and she doesn't even have the leopard-print yet! Takako is young and gets stretched a lot. Whatever happened to Kamiya you say? She's Cooga, ya dingus; the dullest part of any late-90s card. Takahashi gets tagged in, puts Takako in an upside down double-underhook STFU WITH A BRIDGE and goes back to her corner so Bison can dropkick some more. The 70s Miles Davis solo of tag-ins. Incredible. Suzuka does a gorgeous vertical suplex to signal to all of us watching that though this is a heatless spotfest, the spots are in season. So dig in. Suzuka's dropkicks are so snappy it's a wonder she didn't get CTE from them. Kamiya must've just been spent by the Cooga era because she busts out tons of fun stuff here. Youth is young on the wasted. Bison, sensing the lack of Classic Tag Match Heat, throws Moreno into the bleachers. Good on her. Takako wants revenge but eats a Bison Chop. This is an interesting era for a spotfest--ie the pre-CTE era--despite it still being built off of the video-gamey idea of "strong attacks wear down more HP". Everybody busts out the weirdest shit they can come up with in the hope something--anything--will do it. But I shouldn't complain much. This is heavy on action, light on pointless near-falls, the screwups are minor, and there are some really fun and odd spots I haven't seen before. And Kaoru Ito is there to moisturize the losers!

Toshiyo Yamada vs. Yumiko Hotta part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfHqj7TdoTY part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtYiI8pb5hQ Q: And kicks?

A: And kicks.

Yamada is as spry and bland as ever and Hotta is still pretending she isn't a violence pervert. But the crowd knows The Truth so Hotta gets 1000000 streamers. Yamada, mad at her comparative lack of streamers, comes out swinging, only to get swung. Hotta brings the UWF realism but Yamada is convinced the puroresu will WIN. One thing they can both agree on is KICKS. The first notable one busts Yamada's nose and we are off to the races--which is to say, we are witnessing the suffering of women who work for men and therefore are never encouraged to have healthily competitive relationships with their peers. Healthy competition comes from camaraderie and a sense of community. Bull Nakano spoke in interviews about how brutalized and casually despised she was by the other wrestlers when she started. The Crush Gals  fucking hate each other irl. Aja Kong was made into a monster heel literally because she was biracial. These things and this match dynamic (hardway blood in basically a TV taping) are all symptoms of the same disorder: misogyny and the market sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Yeah, there's a ton of great work and powerful drama in this era, but how much of it was the inadvertent by-product of an unhealthy working environment? We'll never really know, since there was practically no other game in town--and what game there was (LLPW and JWP) was so consumed by the battle for market dominance, they could only mimic this model. AJW begat Rossy Ogawa which begat Arsion’s weirdly disjointed breed of misogyny which begat Stardom. “Send the girls out there and make them murder each other for the love of the fans! And fuck it! They're somehow also responsible for shilling all their merch, too, just to survive! And they’re little a nude sometimes! As a treat!” This match is pretty fun, don't get me wrong. But it's sometimes hard to distinguish a legitimately competitive match from all of what I just described. Did Hotta bust Yamada's nose cuz she was pissed about jobbing and there was no other outlet in the context of the company to properly express that frustration? Was that frustration even really directed at Yamada? Or was this more of a "Yoshiko shoot"-type situation, in which a wrestler makes a public display of frustration? Hotta turns the shoot into a work for good measure by attacking Yamada post-match. 1991 was 4000 years ago.

Aja Kong vs. Manami Toyota part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI746sByB-g part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnKy0Kp5_MU part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gdv67lFa5M Two of the most compelling figures this era produced--both of whom took the weird and bigoted roles they were given and turned them into powerful characters that transcended that small-mindedness. Aja set out to be a fan favorite despite the booking and it fucking worked. Manami didn't want to just be a pretty baby-face; she wanted depth and conflict. She also trained Tsukasa Fujimoto and Tsukushi, who carry on her legacy of being weirdos with pin-straight hair who love punishment. Aja still sells at this point and Manami is such a string-bean it looks like her boots are weighing her down. Apart from that contextual novelty, this is pretty classic Kong/Toyota. Toyota gets tied in more knots than those catalogued in Moby Dick; eats every kick ever and even takes a headbutt to the lower back. But contrary to their later body of work, Toyota's hope spots don't pop the crowd as much since they're not yet sure she's capbable of fighting from underneath. They like it when she fires up, but they don't yet believe in it. In defense of Aja and Toyota, their work is just as compelling as in 93, 94 or 95, the bookers just didn't believe it yet. It would take the hair vs hair match and Aja's teary performance at the end of Big Egg to convince them of what everyone else on earth already knew. It's as thankless to be out-of-step with the times as it is to be ahead of the times. If you haven't seen this and you're familiar with their higher profile matches, you should. It's more than just a curiosity or a template for later and "greater" things; it's a sign they already knew who they were and how prepared they were to transcend management's expectations. Wild finish and a moving post-match moment, too.

Akira Hokuto & Sakie Hasegawa vs. Bull Nakano & Bat Yoshinaga (2/3 Falls Match) part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En6sdmXeMAY part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ2crxtgZhY Hokuto's legacy is equally massive but differently complex. Hokuto was never really given an explicit role other than asshole. An early injury earned her a reputation with fans as a wrestler who refused to lie down--despite the fact that breaking her neck and refusing to abandon the match was probably due more to how toxic the work environment was in AJW. Can't blame her, or really anybody under these circumstances. Christ, they all started training when they were barely teenagers; what other reality did they know? But because she was picked by the fans long before management knew what to do with her, she had a far different arc. In the ring, she worked from underneath, but as an asshole. Imagine if Muta was somehow Cactus Jack: a being who existed outside the bounds of normal human morality but also took such a colossal beating it made you feel bad for them. Only a tremendously charismatic, well-drawn performance could carry that off. Hokuto is so hard-headed in every sense it's impossible not to root for her; she refuses to know her own limits and, subsequently, refuses to acknowledge the limits of any of her opponents. Anyhow, AJW was hoping Bat Yoshinaga would be Lil Bull, even though that never panned out. Sakie is comically timid in the pre-match promo and Hokuto seems doubtful but down to clown as usual. Bull comes out in a feathery gown only to reveal a tattered tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt to let everyone know she a) likes to party and b) is ready for a call from Vince whenevs. Hokuto is fully on her Maeda shit: aloof yet nervy. She's still in her Marine Wolves colors, too. A woman without a country. Sakie looks literally terrified about what she knows is coming. Ten seconds after the bell, Bull clotheslines them both and powerbombs Sakie for the first fall. THAT'S how Bull do. Hokuto is having none of it and top-rope dropkicks Bat's clavicle into a billion pieces for the second fall. THAT'S how Hokuto do. Now it's Bull vs Hokuto, what the crowd was thirsty for. Hokuto gets thrown over the ropes onto the bare floor but rallies and comes back with a suplex and the same dropkick she gave Bat--proving her contempt for Bull. Double underhook driver for good measure, but Bull gonna Bull. Sakie gets a huge pop on the hot tag despite being the obvious Kikuchi in this setting. Bat kicks and stretches Sakie back into her place. In some ways its hard to tell if Sakie's time in AJW is compelling because she is obviously better than how she was booked or compelling on its own merits--and due to her repeated injuries and transition to trainer we'll never know. But either way, Sakie whips. Hokuto helps her get some good licks in on Bull to drive home that despite her crankiness she believes in this young upstart after all. Sakie capitalizes on this heat by delivering a gorgeous flying headbutt to Bat, following by a pair of god-tier heel-kicks. The crowd is SHRIEKING. Bull senses Bat is gonna whiff it, so bum-rushes Sakie to get Hokuto to tag in. Hokuto is rewarded with a German suplex to the base of her skull and a double-team. A few dozen harrowing exchanges later, Hokuto is back on top and Sakie is ready to die for her. Unfortunately, the moment Bull comes off the top rope with a legdrop, we all know the credits gonna roll. Bull leads the crowd in chanting "Bat-o, Bat-o, Bat-o" and it's a shame that never got legs. Bull feels bad about how things ended, so gives them another chance at a fall. Sakie and Bat slap each other instead of kissing.

Weird but fun card full of all your faves before their prime. Have at it!

Wait . Hang on. Plum Mariko vs Chigusa Nagayo (JWP, 2/11/94) is tacked onto this tape! Fuck YES. Lorefice: the beef been squashed. THANK YOU. (jk jk you're still a bigot)

Watch it here, with glorious pre-match training footage cut from the commercial tape: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQLWwEHP4FQ Plum comes out HOT and bloodies Chigusa early. Never seen Plum this vampiric and fired tf up. Chigusa is having none of it and Hulks out because she's deeply cynical about joshi audiences at this point in her career. She also doesn't mind getting blood in her eyes because, of course, she is still Chigusa Nagayo~! (*DVDVR shout-out interrobang) I've talked a ton already about how much Plum rules and how wistful I get seeing any of her matches. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable saying "the business killed her" so instead I'll say "the business let her die." (The business has let many die but few so blatantly.) Chigusa has yet to enter her dom stage so instead inhabits a kind of quasi-Dynamite Kansai persona appropriate to JWP. She kicks less often but smushes necks just the same. She also is 1000x better on the mat. The announcer mentions, in English (?!) this is a full house at Koruken Hall. Chigusa hits pause to talk shit and Plum is OUTRAGED. Chigusa is also rocking a tan that says "yeah, I took some time off to chill tf out, what of it?" Plum thinks she can restart the match with a respectable test of strength (this is Chigusa, she of fightingo-spiritu, after all) only to get immediately clowned by The New Chigusa. The Post-Crush Gal. Plum says "oh fuck that" and throws on the Stretch Plum and DDTs Chigusa thru the earth's mantle. Chigusa is takes a breather outside then demands Plum give her enough room to get back in the ring, thus going full southern heel. Plum caaaan't quiiiite sink in the Stretch so does a quick German for good measure. Chigusa fights from beneath but gets shut down QUICK. Weird that this legitimately feels like anyone's game, given Chigusa's legendary status. Chigusa sets the record straight by soccer kicking Plum's head into the Mir space station (topical). The crowd now hates her. Plum squishes her back to the mat where she feels safe and torques Chigusa's legs until she looks like Brian Yuzna's seminal critique of capitalism, Society. Despite the contortions, Chigusa chinlocks her way to a victory we all kinda knew was coming.

[wheelthefridge]

in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:

bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago

sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it. 

*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing

me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:

sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!

joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing 

dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2"  dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion  dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—

joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book

didi: is eating a pistachio  katherine: is that sour cream

sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles 

joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her 

katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me

katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener 

sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here

sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes

adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready

something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*

mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries 

sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars

sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day

katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much

sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly

someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids  kerry: pizza bj: vodka 

sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good

edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good. 

sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it 

bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that. 

sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now  sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again 

joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy

bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah

edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*

sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over  me: it’s barely started  sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car

bob: hi sam sam: hi bob  didi: hi sam sam: fuck off

joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker  katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen

joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off 

bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money. 

bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.  

colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying 

katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him

sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat

bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy.  bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…

bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that. 

bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well. 

dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks 

bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good. 

bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?

bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really. 

bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm

nancy: I’m sleeping

sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!

sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine

bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*

sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice 

bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda. 

bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm.  bob: *screams*

radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??

sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow. 

bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands  bj: bob has gone offline

katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters. 

bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time

bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey! 

didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you  didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here 

bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but

random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix. 

bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up 

bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*

sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??

bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor. 

bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet

bj: cheeeesy. 

laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go

caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*

bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it

caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish

bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets 

bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like

sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers. 

bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child

bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*

ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!

mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good. 

sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!

caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning

dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away 

sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*

bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun. 

bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel

bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!!  laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble. 

sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*

bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!

katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know 

bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!

bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you

bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is

guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah

sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks. 

sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it

sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up

bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven

sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one. 

bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home. 

bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice. 

me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe. 

danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?

sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one. 

me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it. 

danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up

sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home

bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine. 

bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!

danny: sorry casey  me: what for  danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah

didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die

danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!

sam: is that a chicken patty  sydney: it’s my dog

sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight

sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up

[ernmark]

Peter has amnesia AU

This is what we’ve been building to.

 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

When they return to Juno’s car, Peter heads for the driver’s side and Juno hands over his keys without an argument. He’s in no condition to drive, even on the vast, empty wasteland of the Martian desert. 

“It’s a bit late to go all the way back to Hyperion City tonight,” Peter says, breaking the silence. “Can I assume it’s safe to get a hotel in Olympus Mons?”

“It’s your dime,” Juno mutters. 

“Yes, ‘all expenses paid’. You made that quite clear in your invoice. A minimum of five stars, then?” 

Juno’s only response is a noncommittal grunt. 

Peter drives in silence, following first the distant glow of Olympus Mons, and then the directions of the car’s GPS to navigate the labyrinthine streets.

He keeps thinking about Juno’s original plan. Perhaps the detective would have fared better if he’d gone down there alone. Perhaps. But that isn’t how it plays out in Peter’s mind: all he can see is Juno, isolated and shaking, impossibly tiny underneath what must have been miles of sand and stone. He doesn’t know why he imagines Juno’s bionic eye malfunctioning-- it’s only one of the many things that could go wrong out there in the middle of nowhere-- but Peter can’t shake the image of blood running down the side of Juno’s face. 

“A room for the night,” Peter tells the receptionist who checks them in, laying down a stolen credit card, and he’s gratified when Juno doesn’t protest. 

“A king or two queens?” the receptionist asks, not looking at him as they type in his answers. 

“What do you think, Juno?” he asks, his suave self once again.  Juno blinks as if he’s been startled out of a dream, and so he repeats the question: “A king or two queens?”

He’s fairly certain he knows how Juno will reply-- two queens, of course, for the illusion of distance. But there’s nothing quite like human touch to sooth the nerves after a long day.

“Two rooms,” Juno says instead, quiet but resolute.

The receptionist glances at Peter. After all, it’s his false name on the card.

“Two rooms,” he confirms, and tries not to let the disappointment show on his face.

The room feels wrong. It’s too big, too empty, as cavernous as a tomb.

Which is absurd, of course-- he’s spent most of his life sleeping in hotel rooms just like this one. There’s no reason that he should feel uncomfortable now, and yet he does. 

Juno’s room is situated beside his, the two divided by a single door in the shared wall. Peter doesn’t need to try the knob to know that it’s locked from Juno’s side. It shouldn’t bother him as much as it does.

Juno isn’t the first person he’s lied to; his isn’t the first heart he’s broken. What does he care if Juno Steel spends the night alone after walking back into a nightmare? What’s it to him if he wakes up and the room next door is empty, so long as the samples they collected are still there? Why should he care?

There’s a crash from the other side of the door, and Peter starts upright. “Juno?” He flattens himself against the door. “Are you alright?” He grabs the knob-- just as he guessed, it’s locked tight.

“I’m fine.” The voice on the other side is slurred. “Just dropped my bag.” There’s a sound of glass clinking against the desk. A bottle?

“I take it you’ve found your way into the drink service.”

“Hey, the invoice said all expenses paid.” 

“That it did.” Peter sighs. “Perhaps I could join you. I could use a drink myself right now.” 

He’s close enough that he can hear a hand sliding down the other side of the door. The handle turns, just slightly, before it’s stopped by the lock.

“Don’t you have a fridge in your room?” Juno asks. 

“I could use the company.”

The doorknob shifts, just slightly. “Could you?”

“It’s been quite the day.” For both of them, though he suspects he can’t say that much.

Juno makes a small sound that he can’t quite decipher. “You didn’t have to come.” 

“And leave my curiosity unsatisfied? Besides, I could hardly let you go alone, could I?”

“Why not?” Juno mumbles, almost inaudible against the door. “I go back plenty of times. Just not when I’m awake.”

Peter frowns, but he keeps his voice light. “It seems a rather long distance for sleepwalking.” 

“It’s not so much sleep walking as it is nightmares.” 

This time it’s Peter’s hand that twists fruitlessly on the doorknob. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, who doesn’t wake up in a cold sweat every now and then, right?”

“Juno--” The words tumble out of his mouth before he can process them. “Are you sure you want to sleep alone tonight?” 

Juno’s reply is almost as reflexive: “No.”

Peter’s hand tightens on the doorknob again, silently willing it to unlock. “All you have to do is let me in.” 

Juno makes a small, anguished sound, like he’s in pain. Instantly Peter is twisting the doorknob with one hand and digging for his lock picks with the other. He needs to be in there. He needs--

“No.” Juno’s voice comes out a raw whisper, almost a sob. “Nureyev, don’t.”

“Let me help you,” Peter pleads. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

“Are you sure you don’t remember me?” Juno laughs as though he’s going to cry. “Go to bed, Nureyev. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

The drive back to Hyperion City is a quiet one. Between Juno’s hangover and Peter’s exhaustion after a night of fitful rest, neither one feels particularly talkative. At some point Peter dozes, lulled to sleep by the monotony of red sand dunes, and he wakes with his glasses neatly folded in the cup holder beside him. 

He pretends not to notice the odd angle of the rear view mirror, or the glances that Juno steals when he thinks Peter can’t see. 

They arrive at the headquarters of Saffron Pharmaceuticals without incident and hand over the bags of samples to a lab tech. They’re back in the car and pulling out of the parking lot when Juno’s comms beeps.

“That was fast,” Peter says.  

“That’s not Saffron,” Juno mutters. His eyes are on the comms, and on the unlisted number glowing on the screen. He picks up and sets it against his ear, though Peter’s close enough to hear the voice on the other side-- a woman’s voice, sharp and urgent.

“Juno,” she says without preamble. “I know you’re the one behind this. I want you to call your secretary off.” 

“Sasha?” Juno asks, startled.

“Our systems are confidential. If you keep digging, there will be consequences.”

The call ends as abruptly as it began. 

Juno pulls the comms back from his ear and stares at it, his car idling at the edge of the parking lot.

Before Peter can ask what that even was, Juno makes another call. It picks up just as quickly.

“Boss?” His secretary’s voice comes in loud and clear on the other side.

“Rita, what the hell are you doing?”

“I ain’t goofin’ off, if that’s what you mean. I finished the stuff you had me look into, and it all got me thinkin’ about this one movie I saw, about these two super spies, and there was this big marathon of their movies going on, and--”

Juno cuts her off before she can continue. “What did you find?” 

“Well, the first couple were amazing, but then the sequels started to get a little--”

“Rita. The case.”

“That’s what I was tryin’ to tell you,” she says. “There was an itinerary for Duke and Dahlia Rose on that flight you showed me, but nobody ever claimed their tickets. So I did some digging for those names, and they don’t exist. The addresses all go to abandoned factories and empty warehouses, and the signatures on their paperwork belong to people who haven’t been doing those jobs in ages, so I thought: they must be spies. Which is why--”

“Did you find anything else on them?” Juno asks.

“A couple using that name checked into the Oasis Casino Resort out by Olympus Mons for a night a while back-- you know, the one where that jewel thief got caught? It was all over the news for a while-- and then a month later they checked into the Seventh Star Hotel down on Lovelace Street, but then they disappear.”

An uncomfortable chill crawls down Peter’s back. He recognizes the pattern of the aliases, if not the names themselves. 

“So I looked up the credit card they used to check into the Seventh Star, and that was used to check into the Queen of Sheba hotel across town, but it was for just one person with a different name. That same card bought another spaceship ticket a few days later, but when I checked the manifest, that ticket never got picked up, either.”

“Another no-show?” Juno asks, his voice dry.

“No-- and this is the part where it gets real exciting-- I looked up the flight manifest, and the whole thing was flagged by Dark Matters. There was a suspected terrorist supposed to be on that flight, only there was this great big sting operation, just like in the movies, and he got dragged away. It was all super top secret stuff, real exciting, which is what got me thinkin’ about--”

The rest is lost in a babble as Juno sets the comms down to pull the car over to the side of the road. It’s difficult for Peter to focus on what’s being said. There’s a roaring in his ears that drowns out everything else. 

His eyes are fixed on Juno’s knuckles, tight and bloodless around the steering wheel. Finally he picks up the comms again.

“Rita, I want you to try Dark Matters again. I want you to look for anything having to do with memory augmentation.”

“But boss, the commercial’s almost over, and--”

“Just do it.” 

Peter isn’t sure if the car’s hover motors are failing or if it’s just him. 

A moment later, Rita comes back on the line. “There’s an experimental procedure they’ve been workin’ on for the past six months or so. Looks like somebody broke into Dark Matters and impersonated one of their agents. Says here all the sensitive information he got access to was neutralized, and then they let him go to test if it was gonna be useful in the long term.”

Agent Glass.

That’s what Rita’s been calling him all this time.

Agent Glass.

He tries to speak, but nothing comes out. He clears his throat and tries again. “How does it work, exactly?”

Juno catches his eye. 

No, he says silently. You don’t want to know.

But Peter has to.

“Well, they make this incision in the back of the mouth-- you know, that part that freezes up if you eat ice cream too fast?-- and that’s how they get to the brain, and--”

Juno looks like he might be sick. 

Peter’s gone numb. The only thing he can feel is his tongue sliding across the roof of his mouth to the soft palate and the cut that’s already started to heal. 

Another voice interrupts Rita’s call.

“Juno, what did I just say?” The other woman. Sasha. “If your secretary keeps hacking our system, we’ll be forced to take action against her.”

“What kind of action are we talking, exactly?” Juno asks. “You planning on digging into her brain, too?”

“That’s exactly the kind of confidential information I’m talking about,” the woman snaps. “Dammit, Juno, I’m trying to protect you. I can’t keep doing that if you keep--”

Juno ends the call, plunging them both into silence.

“Well,” he says, his voice dry. “I guess that’s one mystery solved.”

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

Here is this list for the "Drabble Challenge: 1-150", They are many (sorry), but you can mix several in the same story, right?It's just that I can not stand with just a few ideas, I would love to read them all :P, and several of these not only imagine them with Rae and Finn, I love it when the gang is involved :P so, these are the numbers: 10, 12, 17, 29, 41, 45, 49, 55, 58!!!!, 68, 73, 76, 93, 99, 128, 132, 148, 149. Thank you girl, you are the best!

Hello, my dear! Let’s just pretend that ithasn’t been 3 months since you sent me this ask request and I’m barely gettingaround to posting this now, alright? Cool! Now that we have that allsettled…for this story, I chose three of the prompts you suggested off ofthis list (#58, 68, and 76) and put them all into one story…I hope you enjoy! :)

(Side note: This story takes place in like2005/2006 but it’s safe to assume that most of the events leading up to thoseyears happened canonically as they did in the show itself.)

***

The final notes of “Seven Nation Army” by TheWhite Stripes faded out as the song ended and the radio DJ sat up in his chairto transition to the next thing on the agenda for today’s show.

“Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and all you cool catsout there who know sound music when ya hear it! I’m Mad Matt and you’relistening to Mad Matt in the Morning on this lovely Saturday morning. If you’rejust tuning in to the show as you get your morning started, I have quite thesurprise for all of you listeners out there right after this commercial break,so go get yourself a cuppa and some toast and hurry back to your radio…you’renot gonna wanna miss this.”

After the short commercial break, Matt glancedover to the large window where his producer was sitting on the opposite sideoutside of the studio, waiting for his cue to begin talking.

“Welcome back to Mad Matt in the Morning! I knowI’ve been hinting at my surprise for you guys all week and I’ve been trying tokeep it a secret, but some of you callers seem to have already guessed what Ihad up my sleeve…well no matter…today in the studio we are so lucky to havean amazing and talented music producer from Lincolnshire. Please join me inwelcoming the one, the only…Finn Nelson!”

The radio DJ pressed the cheers and applausebuttons on the effects board in front of him as he shifted his focus over thetowards chair on the other side of the studio that has been occupied since thecommercial break.

“Hello, it’s such an honor to have ya on theshow this morning!” Matt said into the microphone with his body angled towardFinn in his desk chair.

“Good morning, Matt! It’s such a pleasure to behere!”

“Nonsense! The pleasure is all mine, Finn! Howare you this morning?”

“I’m alright. It’s a bit earlier than I’m usedto, but I’ll manage,” Finn replied with a slight chuckle.

“Wonderful! So I’m fairly certain that unlessyou’ve been living under a rock, everyone and their mums knows the name ‘FinnNelson’, but could you just give me a brief introduction about yourself, Finn?”

“Uh, yeah, of course…let’s see, I’m FinnNelson. I grew up in Stamford but I’ve been living in London for almost 5 yearsnow. I produce and record music professionally and sometimes when I have thetime or opportunity, I do a bit of DJing.”

“Thank you for that, Finn. In case the listenersout there aren’t aware, Finn is also very humble and has definitely downplayedhis talents and successes.”

Finn chuckled and shrugged, a motion that Mattknew was a subconscious response, since the gesture would not be picked up byany of the radio show listeners.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but in the span ofonly a few short years, you’ve gone from a college student to an amateur DJ toa very popular DJ to one of the most successful independent music producers inLondon…all by the age of..?”

“Uh, I’m 28 right now.”

“Bloody hell, you’ve accomplished all that andyou’re not even 30 yet! Where did all of this start? Did ya just wake up onemorning and decide that you wanted to take the music world by storm or..?”

“Pretty much! No, I’m just joking, but I feellike I’m so lucky to be where I am right now, but I feel like I was alwaysgonna do something in music.”

“How so?” Matt asked, nodding for Finn toproceed with the story.

“Well, since I was a boy, I loved music andlistening to records with my da and Nan. I was never too good in school, but Iwas just there because everyone else was there. When I finished with college, Iworked days at a garage repairing cars and I had a friend of a friend thatwould DJ at some of the raves I went to and he offered to teach me a thing ortwo…

“I picked up on it all fairly quickly and beforelong I was getting my own DJing gigs at raves and clubs in the city.

“I moved from Stamford to Bristol for a fewyears and I kept DJing on a more regular basis, but in my spare time I begancreating music and recording some of the stuff I was creating,” Finn said,stopping the recounting of his life story for a moment while gathering histhoughts.

“I hate to butt in, but do you mean to tell methat you’re self-taught for producing music?” Matt asked when there was anatural pause in Finn’s story.

“Yeah! I liked playing music and when I startedmaking music I liked that too. At my DJing gigs I began playing some of myoriginal music and I started gaining popularity for it.

“One night after a gig I was approached by amusic producer that was trying to create a recording label of collaborativeartists and producers…He was starting this thing from the ground and he wasvery candid and told me that it was very likely that the label would be a flop,but if it worked it would give me full control of what music I was creating andhelp me get my music out there in a more formal sense.

“I wasn’t sure if I should take the risk, butsomeone that I care very deeply for convinced me that it was worth a shot, soless than a month later I was relocating my entire life from Bristol to Londonto help Jay and a few other artists such as myself to build this label up fromthe ground…and by some miracle, it worked!

“The label gained popularity quite quickly andnow here I am…living in London with my family, producing music, and gettingpaid to listen to music all day. I’m basically living 17 year old Finn’sbiggest dream!”

Finn and Matt chuckled at the conclusion ofFinn’s story when Matt looked up to see that his producer was giving him thecue to move onto the next thing that was planned, for the sake of time.

“That’s incredible! We’re gonna take a break andplay some music for a bit, but when we come back, we’re gonna take somequestions from listeners that are calling in. So Finn, would you care to do thehonors and introduce this next song?”

“Uh, yeah, sure! I’ve been a massive fan of thisband since I was a teenager and I still love them today, this is ‘BeverlyHills’ from Weezer,”

“And we’re out!” Matt said as the ON AIR signbeside the studio door went dim and he removed the headphones from over hisears.

Finn removed his own headphones as well and satback in his chair, away from the microphones on the large recording desk infront of him.

“Great job so far, Finn! We have about 10minutes before we’re back on the air, so you’re welcome to walk around, use thetoilet, and grab a snack…whatever you’d like to do for the next few minutes.”

“Great, thank you!”

“Hiya Matt, Dan wants to speak to you when youhave the chance—oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Is now a good time?”

“No need to apologize, Bella, we just went offthe air. I’ll go chat with Dan right now. Can you go grab a couple waterbottles for Finn and me and bring them in here for when we’re back on the air?”

“Absolutely! I’ll be right back!” Bella noddedbefore quickly turning around and leaving the studio toward the long hallway onthe left.

“Heh, sorry about that. That’s Bella, one of ournew interns. She’s lovely and great at her job, but she can be a bit nervouswhen we have guests in the studio. She’d never admit to it, but I think she’s apretty big fan of yours,” Matt explained as he stood from his seat and grabbedhis cell phone from the studio desk beside him.

“A fan…of me? Wow, I’m flattered!” Finnreplied quietly.

Matt left the studio and Finn remained seated inhis chair, spinning idly in his desk chair out of boredom.

A few minutes later, Finn heard the door to thestudio open suddenly and jumped in surprise as he used his foot against thedesk as a brake to stop the movement of his chair.

“Oh! You surprised me!”

“Sorry! I was just bringing in the waters thatMatt asked for. Do you need anything else while I’m here, Mr. Nelson?” Bellaasked nervously as she placed the water bottles on the desk and retreated backtowards the studio door just as Matt walked back into the studio and sat backdown in his chair.

“Mr. Nelson makes me sound like an old man, youcan just call me Finn. And no, I think I’m alright, thank you!” Finn repliedwith a polite smile.

Bella smiled and nodded at Finn and Matt beforeturning away to open the door of the studio.

As soon as she opened the door, a young boy raninto the studio, dodging past Bella’s legs.

“Daddy!”

The young boy ran clumsily towards Finn and Finnquickly picked him up and placed him onto his lap.

“I’m so sorry, Matt. It looks like we may havefound ourselves a runaway,” Finn joked.

“No need to apologize! Who is this adorablelittle guy?”

“I’m Ian!” The boy replied with a wide grin.

“This is my son. He was supposed to be waitingin the lobby with his mum, but it looks like he managed to slip away from her,”Finn replied with a chuckle as he used a hand to tousle his son’s shaggy brownhair.

“Mummy said I could get a snack, butdaddy…guess what they have? Chocolate biscuits!” the boy exclaimed with awein his eyes as he opened his small palm to show his dad the half-eatenchocolate biscuit he was holding.

“Oh, you know how much your daddy loveschocolate biscuits! You still shouldn’t have ran away from mummy though, she’sprobably worried sick trying to find you right now!”

“I was a bit worried at first,” replied a voicefrom the doorway as a tall, curvy woman walked into the studio, “but then Ijust followed the trail of biscuit crumbs left behind and it led me right toyou!”

“Mummy!” the young boy called as his mumapproached him and lifted him from his dad’s lap and settled him on one of herhips.

“Sorry if this little rascal disturbed youguys,” the boy’s mum said as she gave Matt an apologetic smile.

“No need to apologize, we’re on a break rightnow, so it didn’t interrupt anything. He’s adorable, by the way. How old ishe?”

“I’m this many years old!” the young boy said ashe held up both hands with his all his chubby fingers extended fully.

“He’sfour years old,” his mum replied with a chuckle, “Sorry for not introducingmyself properly. I’m Finn’s wife, Rae!”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Rae! I’m Matt as in‘Mad Matt in the Morning’”

“Yeah, I’m a big fan of your show! I’m so happyto finally meet you!”

“Mummy…can we go now?” the small boy whinedquietly as he wrapped his arms around Rae’s neck and rested his head on hershoulder.

“Almost baby boy…Daddy just needs to finishthis and then we can go,”

“But daddy promised!”

“I know I promised you, Buddy, but I’m almostdone here. I pinky promise!”

“Aw, is the little guy getting tired?” Mattasked as he offered Ian another chocolate biscuit from the packet on his desk.

“Probably, yeah,” Rae replied as she used a handto gently stroke the back of her son’s head as he nibbled on the biscuit.

“Ian wasn’t happy to see me leaving early thismorning for the show today, so I made a deal with him that if he came with meto the show and was a good boy, we’d go to the zoo afterwards,” Finn explainedas he gazed affectionately at his young son cuddled up in the arms of his wife.

“Oh, I see! Well in that case,” Matt turnedtowards Ian and offered him the last biscuit in the packet, “I will try to makesure that your Daddy finishes up as quickly as possible so he can keep hispromise to take you to the zoo!”

The young boy perked up slightly and grinnedwidely.

“That’s very nice of Matt to do, don’t youthink, Ian? What do you say when someone does something nice for you?”

“Thank you, Matt!” Ian exclaimed.

“You’re welcome, little guy! It’s almost timefor your Daddy and I to go back on the radio, but what do you say to sittingwith my friend Dan on the other side of the window over there and watching usfrom there? He has lots of fun buttons and switches that I’m sure he will letyou press if you ask him nicely,”

“Yes, please!”

Dan walked through the door of the studio andsmiled at Rae and Ian.

“Good morning! I’m Dan, you two can follow me ifyou’d like and I’ll be happy to let little Ian here be my assistant for therest of the show, if he wants to, that is…”

Ian’s eyes lit up and he began squirming againstRae’s hip with excitement.

“I guess that’s my cue to leave too,” Rae saidas she walked over to Finn and leaned down to give him a quick peck on thelips, “I’ll be watching from just the other side of the window, so try not tomess up too badly,” Rae joked as she pulled away from the kiss.

“I’ll see you in a bit, my love,” Finn repliedwith a smile as Rae and Ian walked out of the studio and closed the door behindthemselves.

“Alright, Finn! The break is just wrapping upnow, are you ready to take some listener’s calls?”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me!”

Finn and Matt sat back down in their chairs andplaced their headphones over their ears as soon as they saw Dan on the oppositeside of the glass giving them a countdown before pointing at the switch for Ianto flip that turned the ON AIR sign back on.

“Hello, hello and welcome back to ‘Mad Matt inthe Morning’! I am Mad Matt coming at you live and in the studio with the oneand only Finn Nelson!”

“Good morning! I’m so glad to be here!” Finnadded conversationally.

“In case any of you listeners are just tuning innow, Finn started off the show by giving us a bit of a run-down of how he rosefrom an average college student in Stamford to a very well-known London musicproducer, and wow! What a great story that was!

“I said that when we came back Finn and I wouldbe taking some calls from listeners, so if you have any questions or commentsfor either of us, you know what to do! While we are waiting for the calls tocome in, I really need to tell you all about the cutest thing that happenedduring our short break,”

“Oh geez,” Finn chuckled lightly under hisbreath as Matt looked over at Finn and then at Rae and Ian where they sat onthe opposite side of the window.

“While we were on break, I had the pleasure ofmeeting Finn’s adorable young son, Ian, and his lovely wife and I have to saythat you have a beautiful little family, Finn.”

“Thank you very much! My family is my everythingand I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without them—especially withoutmy wife, Rae, since she has and always will be my biggest supporter and I cannever thank her enough.”

“How long have you and Rae been together?”

“We met one summer before college when I was 17and before long we were dating. We stayed together for the rest of college andI moved with her when she was attending Uni in Bristol. After she graduated wegot married and moved to London and a little less than two years later Ian wasborn. Ever since I met her, my life has been so much happier and even now, 11years later, I’m so thankful for the first time that I asked Rae to go bowlingwith me and she was foolish enough to agree!”

Finn looked up at Rae through the window in timeto see Rae smile and blow him a kiss.

“I honestly can’t handle how cute these twolovebirds are! Alright, let’s go ahead and take some calls before I spend therest of our time on the show today just talking about how perfect your wife andson are…caller 1, what’s your name?”

“Hi! My name is Mary,”

“Thanks for calling in, Mary! Do you have aquestion or comment for Finn or I?”

“I just wanted to call in and say that I’m amassive fan of Mad Matt in the Morning and I was listening to your show at workand nearly screamed when I found out that the special guest for today was FinnNelson. I’m such a massive fan of yours too, Finn!”

“Thank you, my dear, I really appreciate it!”Finn replied in complete sincerity.

“You’re welcome! I remember seeing you DJ at oneof the clubs in Bristol a few years back and now you’re making music in Londonand I’m so happy that you’ve had the success that you have so far. I should getback to work now, but have a great day!”

“Thanks again for calling, Mary! Next caller,you’re on the air with Mad Matt and Finn Nelson!”

“Thanks for taking my call! My name is Paul andI had a question for Finn,”

“Sure thing, man. What’s your question?”

“I know that you’ve been a fan of music sinceyou were a kid, but now that you are producing music, do you have any specificinspirations that you look to when making music?”

“That’s a great question! I guess I just try tomake music that I would want to listen to myself. Growing up I listened to alot of Oasis, The Stone Roses, Bowie, but I don’t know that I’m trying to copytheir music by any means. I’m just trying to create something that I’m proud ofand that I think people would want to hear.”

“Thanks again for the question, Paul! I think wehave time for a couple more calls today, so we’ll take the caller on line 5,please!”

“Hiya, my name is Jenny and I just wanted to saythat I’ve really enjoyed Finn being a guest on your show today, Mad Matt! Doyou think you’ll be inviting him back again, perhaps to do a radio takeoverlike you’ve done with other guests in the past?”

“I’d love to have Finn back in the studio againas long as he is willing to be a guest on the show again. I was only able tobook his interview on the show today because I know a friend of a friend whohas connections with one of the other producers on Finn’s label and they owedme a favor, but of course I’d be more than happy to have Finn back again!”

“And I’d be more than happy to come back at somepoint, Matt! Maybe after the show today we can try to coordinate schedules tofind out when we could make this happen!”

“Wonderful! I look forward to hearing you backon Mad Matt in the Morning sometime in the future!”

“Thanks again for calling in, Jenny. And ourlast caller, I understand, is from Lincolnshire just like you, Finn. Isn’t thatright?”

“Yeah, hiya! I’m Ryan and I live inLincolnshire. I really look up to you as a mentor, Finn, and I’ve been tryingto make my way into the music business as well, but I’m not quite sure where tostart…do ya have any suggestions or words of advice?”

“It’s great to meet ya, Ryan! You sound prettyyoung. How old are ya?”

“I’m 16,”

“Ah, so not much younger than I was when I firstgot started in music. I would say that if you want to get into music, you needto really love what you are doing and want to learn about it all from thebottom up. If you just want to be famous, you might be able to gain somepopularity, but it likely won’t last. You have to keep working hard to become betterat what you do and honing your craft. I don’t know how helpful that really is,but…”

“No, that’s perfect! It really means a lot to mecoming from you, Finn!”

“No problem, Ryan! And look, I’ll tell you what:keep working and practicing and as soon as you have a demo or something to showoff, send it my way and I’ll have a listen. I’d love to have you in my studioand I’ll gladly help you out if you ever find yourself in London.”

“Are you serious? You’re practically like a godto my friends and I, so they are never going to believe this!”

“I appreciate the flattery, Ryan, but I’m reallynothing special. I’m just a guy with awife, two kids, and a Harley.” Finn replied with a laugh.

“Thanks for calling in, Ryan. That’s all thecalls we have time for today, but really quickly before we go…Did I just hearyou say that you had two kids, Finn?”

“I, uh…did I say that? I—uh, I meant,” Finnlooked up at Rae through the window who was currently hiding a smile behind herhand and Matt could clearly see her shoulders shaking slightly with containedlaughter.

“I, uh…Well, my wife Rae and I wanted to goabout this a bit differently, but thanks to my big mouth, I guess the secret isout.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying,Finn?”

“Indeed! I’m so happy to announce that my wifeis a little over four months pregnant with our second child and little Ian isgoing to be a big brother!”

“Congratulations to both of you! I can onlyimagine how exciting this must be for you and your family, even if this wasn’tnecessarily the way that you wanted to announce the news. That’s all the timewe have for on Mad Matt in the Morning today! I’m Mad Matt…”

“And I’m Finn Nelson,”

“And we are signing off! Be sure to join metomorrow morning and every weekend, right here on Mad Matt in the Morning onKISS 101.7…To end today’s show, let’s take it back to one of my favorite bandsof the 90’s…this is Oasis with ‘Champagne Supernova’!”

Matt looked up to see Ian flipping the switchand the ON AIR sign went dim again as Finn removed his headphones and rose fromhis chair into a stretch.

“Thanks again for coming on the show today,Finn! The listeners really seemed to love it and I really enjoyed chatting withyou!”

“Likewise! And I meant it when I said that I’dlove to be invited back on this show again in the future!”

“Great, I’ll be sure to talk to Dan and some ofthe higher ups that handle all the scheduling and we can try to work somethingout!”

Rae and Ian opened the door to the studio andIan bolted towards Finn as he leaned down to lift him into his arms.

“Did I do good, Daddy? Dan told me which buttonsto push and I tried my hardest to do a good job!”

“You were amazing, buddy! I’m so proud of you!”

Rae walked to stand behind Finn’s desk chair andleaned down slightly to rest her arms over his shoulders from behind.

“Rae! I’m sorry that Finn’s little announcementhappened the way that it did, but I just wanted to congratulate both of youagain for having a second child on the way!” Matt replied sheepishly, takingpart of the blame for their secret being exposed.

“Thank you, Matt! I knew it was only a matter oftime before Finn let it slip because it seems like that’s all he’s been talkingabout with me and my mum for the last month or two, but I’m so excited for thenew challenges this is going to bring!”

Finn turned his head to the side to place agentle kiss on Rae’s hand that was resting over his shoulder and Matt couldn’tresist smiling and the tenderness of the simple gesture.

“Mummy…can we go now? Please?” Ian asked,jutting out his lower lip slightly as he looked between the adults in the roomwith puppy dog eyes that cut through the resolve of even the toughest men.

“Yes, baby boy, we can go now. Do you want tosay bye-bye to Matt and Dan before we go?” Rae asked as she straightened up andadjusted the straps of the denim backpack she was wearing over her shoulders.

“Yeah!” Ian squirmed in Finn’s arms where he wasseated in the desk chair with this dad before Finn released him and helped himonto the ground to stand up in front of the chair.

“Alright, buddy. Go over to Matt and give him ahigh-five and knuckles and then we can go, alright?”

Ian ran to the chair where Matt was sitting andlifted his small hand outward for Matt to high-five before curling his chubbyfingers into a tiny fist for Matt to knuckle bump.

“Bye, Matt! Daddy and Mummy are taking me to thezoo, so we gotta go now,” Ian explained before running across the room to wherehis parents were.

Finn stood next to the door of the studio with onearm wrapped around his wife’s shoulders and used the other hand to push asidethe fabric of her unbuttoned flannel shirt to caress the well-concealed babybump through the black band tee that she wore underneath.

“Thank you again for having me on your showtoday, Matt, it was such a pleasure! I look forward to coming back again if I’minvited back and we can arrange it in our schedules!” Finn replied as he openedthe door of the studio and held open the door for his wife and son.

“Absolutely! Have fun at the zoo, Ian!” Mattcalled out to them from where he was sitting.

Rae gave Matt a wave and smile before reachingdown to offer her son a hand to hold as Finn and his family walked out of thestudio together.

THE END

A/N: Fun fact, some aspects of Finn/Rae’s child,Ian, were based on my 2 year old niece whom I love very dearly :)

These are the prompts I used, in case you missedthem during the story:

58) “I’m just a guy witha wife, two kids, and a Harley.”

76) “Daddy!”

68) “He’s four yearsold!”

[mushbabe]

Mass Cartoon Crossover AU

heyyyyy its uhhhhhh another fucking au writing from me

ties into this comic i did here, which i am making a sequel to

so if you wanted to hear my explanation for how shit like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, CN City, and canon crossovers might possibly work, clicky that readmore friend it’s about to get deep and overly thought-out

so like. basically: when a creator creates something, the universe for this something exists on another plane. the characters are all real, just more or less materially inaccessible to people on our plane. there are points in the various planes of existence where our plane and their plane meet, be the points natural or artificial. these points of meeting were used to film things like Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Space Jam, where visceral, fleshy organisms like ourselves could stand alongside the 2-D manifestations of our own minds. both humans and cartoons could enter the opposing side’s realm, but by no means is it natural or healthy for the state of the worlds, not to mention for the individuals crossing dimensions. as such, the scenes in both WFRR and Space Jam where any one person was not in their respective domain were filmed in intervals...

so now we’ve got two planes: ours, and the plane of our creations. like previously stated, each creation has a universe in which it exists and lives, a place where it is given purpose, a story, stuff to do, etc.. compared to our universe, these worlds are all incredibly small.  though the sizes can vary wildly: from the universe of Ed Edd ‘n Eddy, which is more or less encompassed by the cul de sac that they live in, to the universe of Adventure Time (which feels expansive, but really is only made up of the places shown or mentioned in the show, and is by no means infinite like that of our own.) lets imagine that all of these universes are kind of tied together. think about wreck-it ralph when i say that there is a central location, a city probably, that they can all converge in and exist within. 

to keep things homogeneous and as easy to digest as possible, lets assume the only universes that are inherently tied together are the universes from the same kind of media. 2D televised cartoons would all be tied into one place. 3D televised cartoons would converge in a different place. Anime/Video Games/all that good shit would tie in somewhere else respectively. We could imagine that this is because these similar universes are close in proximity as a result of being similar. and because they’re all so close, they all have an established point where they all meet. contrasting this, the convergence of two different kinds of media would be extremely rare and hard to achieve, but is do-able, and has been exploited by characters before (cite the Jimmy-Timmy Power Hour). for the sake of keeping with the natural order, these ties are temporary and will break off easily. 

to illustrate this converging of similar universes, we could imagine this structure as a large central bubble with a bunch of other smaller bubbles surrounding it, each of them connected to the middle one by a thread. 

DIRECTLY CONNECTED WORLDS

but !! these small, individual worlds can also be connected to each other directly! some of these connections are inherent, as they were part of their design upon their creation. a good example of this: the universe of Gravity Falls and Rick and Morty would have a natural thread connecting the two. 

some of these connections can also be forged. these connections are typically the result of a crossover episode, and would exist between the worlds of Futurama and The Simpsons, and The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Codename: Kids Next Door since they all had crossover episodes with each other. In all likelihood, the lifespan of these connections is probably dependent on factors like the earnestness of the episode(s) in question (whether they were done for a cheap cash-in or because the writers were genuinely invested in these characters meeting) and how compatible these universes are (things like similar visual styles and how much sense the crossover makes. the crossover between The Jetsons and The Flintstones makes way more sense thematically than the crossover between Kim Possible and Lilo & Stitch. 

THE HUBWORLD:

this is best understood when you think about the old Cartoon Network City bumpers that CN used to play in between commercials. They were large, semi-realistic urban environments where all of the characters from the programming of the time would interact with the world and with each other. CN City could be thought of as a district of this larger city where all these worlds converge. this is a place that, regardless of art-style or compatibility, everyone can just exist alongside each other. 

so not all of the cartoons live here. lots of them live in their respective worlds for their own reasons (their show may still be ongoing and they need to actually be there for it to happen, or maybe they just prefer their own world) but they may make trips into town to run errands, visit, attend university or even commute to their city jobs. however, after a character’s show has run its course, plenty of them make the decision to move permanently to the city. 

we know that each character can leave their original universe and travel to the central connecting one, but can they leave the central one to visit another person’s universe? i would say yes. probably not for extended periods though. unless there is an existing connector between the two character’s worlds, visiting wouldn’t feel comfortable, and the characters probably just wouldn’t want to. i imagine that, while it’s not exactly illegal or impossible to visit, staying for a long time is frowned upon. again, we can refer back to wreck-it ralph for comparison. visiting is fine, but eventually you need to go home.

IMPORTANT FIGURES:

a character’s role in the city and to others is determined by a lot of things. usually, one would find a job they can perform with their unique skills and/or powers. I’ve headcanon’d the roles of a lot of characters already. some ideas I’ve had:

The Powerpuff Girls are easily the ones in charge of protecting the city. They head Homeworld Security, the various police departments, and have a lot of people working under them. They can often be seen patrolling. 

the city is headed by a City Council and a Mayor (there is also a Head Judge in charge of the court system, but they don’t determine any legislation, they just enforce it.) The Mayor is kind of shadowy in the au at first, but it’s pretty obvious that it’s Mickey Mouse. He’s concerned with corporate interests for the most part.

the Council is made up of elected representatives, each coming from different big names in the cartoon world (Nick, WB, Disney, Hanna-Barbara, etc.) The Council Chairman tbh has to be Bugs Bunny. he’s iconic, charismatic, and experienced, and so has a lot of sway in how things operate; it only made sense that he go into politics. a crucial part of the “plot” of this au is that Bugs and Mickey are bitter rivals. It’s understood by most that Bugs should be the de facto mayor, but through underhanded means, Mickey stays one step ahead of him. while Bugs isn’t exactly innocent either, he certainly stands for different ideals. Bugs is definitely a man of the people. 

Professor Utonium is the dean of the university as well as the head of its robotics department, their most successful STEM department. he teaches a few robotics classes. Dexter, Edd, and Phineas would have all studied under him at one point

Without a doubt, Warden from SuperJail! is the warden of what’s probably the largest and craziest prison in existence. Only a mind like his could contain the biggest threats to the hubworld’s wellbeing. 

i’ve thought about the placement of a lot of other characters too, but i only wanted to list here the one’s integral to the structure of the city.

with that said, all of the villains original to the connected worlds are very much still real and still able to wreak havoc on this metropolis. some won’t have a reason to concern themselves with it, while others will certainly make it a target. this includes extradimensional entities like Bill Cipher, Him, and Aku, who wouldn’t exactly be contained in the city jail. a main concern of the city government is how to protect the town from these major antagonists. 

CITY DISTRICTS:

i was talking about districts of the city earlier. another district i was thinking about is Toontown, a space relegated to old fashioned, classic “toons”. Like, Animaniacs / Tom & Jerry / Merrie Melodies / Steamboat Willie / Roger Rabbit -esque toons. the one’s we all understand as the physics defying characters who can pull material from nothing (hammerspace) as well as take a shotgun shell to the face and live. The nigh-indestructible, goofy-ass, slapstick, foundational characters of animated comedy. this is gonna be one of the few districts that is actually somewhat segregational. I imagine that society views toons in a weird, kind of split way. on one hand, the Old Toons are to be respected. they forged a path and laid a foundation in entertainment and have helped bring all of this into existence. on the other hand, Toons are also considered outmoded. classic slapstick has largely reached the end of its run. the iconic white gloves, cigars, and dynamite have all come to represent a bygone golden era full of its own problematic ideals. their shows are analyzed now much like modern psychologists would analyze Freud: no one can doubt the significance of the impact they’ve had, but the faults are widely acknowledged. (for example, modern cartoons would probably criticize older toons’ shows’ lack of diverse protagonists, rampant themes of racism / antisemitism / blatant use of tobacco / objectification of female characters, for being unfunny or unchallenging to the viewer, or for just being visually unappealing as some newer cartoons might believe.) as a result of this mindset, older Toons are the target of some prejudice but also some high respect. it depends on which group you’re talking to. 

List of City Districts

New Townsville (the one filmed for the CN City Bumpers). town hall, banks, business hub.

Toontown (the one filmed in WFRR) - area reserved for Toons

Endsborough - slightly evil, run down part of town. bars, gambling, etc. hangout for the unsavory.

University District - the campus, dorms, student accommodations 

Hillwood Metropolitan Area - expansive, unspecific urban area, main marketplace, apartments, schools. underground cultural haven.

Jump District - upscale part of town, nice stores, ritzy condos. opposite of Endsborough. favorite hangout/residence of hero-types. 

Middleville - suburban residence area, lots of families living here.

Jellystone - large park

CITY GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS

I am also going to list my ideas for these:

Mayor - Mickey Mouse

Chief Justice - MENTOK THE MIND-TAKER (he’s from Harvey Birdman and he’s a great judge ok google him)

City Councilmen:

Warner Brothers / Chairman - Bugs Bunny 

Cartoon Network - Grim

Metro Goldwyn-Mayer - Pink Panther

Nickelodeon - Phoebe Heyerdahl

Hanna Barbara - Top Cat

Disney -  Stanford Pines (not Stanley)

Adult Swim - Dr. Mrs. The Monarch

THE GUILD OF CALAMITOUS INTENT 

as one might imagine, the hubworld is going to be full of both heroes and villains. to manage the inevitable carnage, i thought i’d borrow an organization from The Venture Bros. the Guild of Calamitous Intent’s purpose (in this au anyway) is to fit villains with their arch-rivals and contain the amount of collateral damage their conflict creates. heroes and villains can only fight one villain/hero at a time, respectively. this is to prevent things like all-out fights between huge numbers of villains and heroes, which would destroy a good portion of the city. as well, there is a limit to how much destruction one pair of arch rivals can cause. charges are incurred otherwise. certain areas are entirely off-limits (schools, hospitals, etc. basically they follow the Geneva Convention here). the presence of the Guild would also be a good explanation for why villains only tend to target one hero most of the time. once one villain/hero is defeated, another one can take be fit to take their place. villains and heroes are both ranked in order of power and resources, and a villain is always paired with a hero of equal rank to allow for the fairest fight. arching outside of guild regulations is strictly forbidden and the Guild will hunt down a rogue villain/hero. groups of villains/heroes that are always together (the Teen Titans for example) will count as a single arch-able entity and will be ranked according to their combined power. So in this universe, Slade would be labeled as the Teen Titan’s arch-enemy. 

while the Guild is originally a service for evil characters run by evil characters, they generally play a neutral role in the struggle between good and evil. 

but there are bound to be evil doers who are too chaotic to follow guild regulations. these characters have to act in the utmost secrecy or simply be too powerful to be taken out normally; otherwise, the Guild will act upon them. the heads of the Guild are totally anonymous, and, while they’ve worked with the City before to impose certain regulations, they are independent of the government. All villains and heroes must be properly registered, but registered villains ARE NOT guaranteed safety from Homeworld Security. heroes and the police often work together to take down bad guys, and its a hero’s responsibility to keep their respective villain in check.

ANYWAY that’s what I’ve thought up so far for the overarching premise. I STILL NEED A NAME FOR THE CITY 

i could just call it Big City a la Sheep in the Big City, but thats.... kinda dumb. idk i’ll think on it.

[kickstarter-promotion]

Another Amazing Kickstarter (Taking Midnight Runners Graphic Novels next lvl!! by John Hanna —Kickstarter) has been published on http://crowdmonsters.com/new-kickstarters/taking-midnight-runners-graphic-novels-next-lvl-by-john-hanna-kickstarter/

A NEW KICKSTARTER IS LAUNCHED:

I’ve been drawing comics for a number of years now, just selling them to friends and family and in the local convention scene. As I make more stories and visit more cons, this begins to get expensive! And honestly, I dont want to be confined to just conventions forever. I want as many people as possible to read my stories and enjoy them! So I need the resources to keep me going and spread my stories out to the world!

MY PLAN!!

The goals I’m looking to achieve in this kickstarter are: 1) covering print production costs for a large run of my entire comics collection 2) distribution of comics by post to Literary Agents in Australia and overseas in order to find a Publisher 3) cover costs to visit the cons this year

FINDING A PUBLISHER

The main goal here is to find a Publisher. I’m not intending to be famous and rich or anything, I’m not concerned with that, and its unlikely to happen in the comic world. What I want is for as many people as possible to read my stories! The ultimate way for that to happen is to find a publisher who will make my work(s) commercially available to the country and the world. But you can’t just go up to a publisher and go ‘hey, publish this yo!’, theres way too many people who do that and they’re always swamped with a billion manuscripts, so it super unlikely that they would ever have the chance to see it. What you need is a Literary Agent!

A Literary Agent has contacts in the publishing world, and will petition for ones story to be taken on by a Publisher. It’s like having a go-between who vouches for you. Not only is a Literary Agent easier to find, but they will do all the heavy lifting for you once they decide to take you on. Getting an agent involves sending out copies of my comics to them all over the country/world and if just one of them likes one of my stories, I’m in! whoop whoop!

So basically, I’m gonna need a whole lotta copies of my comics so I can send them out all over the place! And that of course means $$$

Getting my convention on!

GOING TO CONVENTIONS

I tend to frequent as many conventions in NSW as I can, though I’d like to someday travel interstate, and eventually overseas. I often attend 6-8 conventions a year generally, selling my stuff and drawing on the spot commissions! As you can imagine, this can get expensive… Not all the cons are cheap to table at, and theres additional costs with travel expenses and accomodation if events are far away. It’s not like I make a million dollars doing these things so often I’m lucky if I break even. This can become a money pit which for most artists I know, is a struggle, and often can be the breaking point at which they continue drawing comics or give up. It happens too often and personally, I don’t want that to happen to me. So I need to make this sustainable.

This year will be a little more quiet than usual, as I have a lot going on in my personal life currently, but the cons I’m intending to attend this year are: * Wollongong Comic Gong – 13th May * Supanova – 16-18th June * Smash -19-20th August * Gamma Con – 5-6th August

Hopefully with your help I can reach a wider more broader audience and take my comics to the next level!

WHAT COMICS?

I currently have 5 stories which I’ve self published. I have many others, but these ones are the best and most polished at this time. They range from true stories to romance to action to sci-fi. Though I’ll admit most of them are romance stories lol and funny enough they’re all inspired by my personal life in some way…

JUST YOU AND ME – 1 volume – 300pgs

Just You & Me

One day about 10 years ago I was going through all my old stuff and found the diary I had kept in year 11, about this crazy love triangle I was involved in. Flicking through it I laughed, I cried, felt all fuzzy inside and I reminisced, thinking ‘damn this would make a great soap opera or something’ which is when I thought, ‘why don’t I draw a comic of it?’ First attempt at drawing a comic since I was 13yo. So 5 years and 300 pages later ‘Just You & Me’ was born.

300pgs of true high school experience

MY GIRLFRIEND THE SECRET AGENT – 3 volumes – 164pgs

My Girlfriend The Secret Agent

Internet dating and secret agents! One of my best stories to date, and its also one of the more polished. This is really where I perfected my art style, and stepped up my characters and story development. Exciting and heart-wrenching at the same time, this is one comic i’m most proud of!

All sorts of action goes on in love and war!

  SURVIVAL OF THE LOLEETEST – 3 volumes – 55pgs

Survival of the Loleetest

I was really poor for a number of years, and couldn’t afford to get my friend anything for her birthday, so what did I do? I drew a comic about her. Every birthday I would continue the story until a number of years ago when I reached its conclusion (i finally had a decent job by then). She’s a Lolita, and this is inspired by an interaction between her friends and some Bronies they encountered one day. This is truly a BRONIE vs LOLITA GRUDGEMATCH and it has one of the best conclusions in any of the my comics.

Though this is all about lolitas and bronies, this doesnt pull any punches!

MACHINE//HEART – 2 out of 3 volumes completed – 145pgs currently

Machine//Heart

This is a current sci-fi, 3 part series that I’m doing, of which vol 2. is almost complete. It tackles the ideas of identity and what makes you, you. Robots, mystery, multinational corporations, danger and death feature heavily here. Story and characters wise – this is the most ambitious story that i’ve attempted. Its actually not a romance (crazy, right?), and has turned out to be a con favourite, nearly selling out of my years worth print run in a single con! Will have an awesome and epic conclusion that unfortunately you’ll have to wait for!

Vol 1 is complete, Vol 2 is on the verge on completion, with Vol 3 in development due to be complete beginning of next year

  FUNK BUDDIES – 1 volume – 40pgs

Funk Buddies

Theres a funny story behind this one, which is too long to write here, but it’s my first attempt at a hentai (if you opt in on this one, i tell the story in the authors notes). It’s still in production but will be complete once this kickstarter has reached its end. Most of the book design is complete, with only a small number of finished art pages to be done, then screentones and typesetting. I HAVE to have a story and I HAVE to have characters, so it’s not just blatant pornography. This is my first attempt at this kind of material and actually something i’m very proud of! haha I’m certain that it will get anybody off 😉 Due to its erotic nature, I can’t really reveal much about it here tho, sorry :/

As you can see, Funk buddies is still in development, but will be ready once the kickstarter is complete

REWARDS

When choosing hard copies of any of the comics in the rewards, the ‘Hard copy of comic of your choice’ reward, you can choose any individual volumes of any of the stories (excluding Just You & Me). With the ‘Hard copy of any comic series of your choice’, these are the multi volumes stories and includes Just You & Me.

Obviously with the higher tier rewards where I illustrate a comic written by you, have your story ready to go so i can get it out to you as fast as possible. Possibly due to demand there could be a delay from the promised June deadline, but obviously I’ll be keepin you in the loop!

CONCLUSION

Any of these take your fancy? Back me and help make my dreams reality and score some sweet comics!!

Risks and challenges

I self-publish all my comics so the danger of success is always a thin line, as all the costs incurred are paid by myself. If I dont sell enough or my costs are too high, I’m the one who suffers. And if comics are not sustainable then all I’m doing is throwing money out the window. But so far… I’ve done alright! My first 2 years of doing cons, I ran a massive deficit and was almost ready to give up. But I persevered and cut costs and made it work, and the last number of years I’ve broke even! This alone is not enough to get ahead, which is why I’ve come to kickstarter.

I’m a graphic designer by trade, so I do everything (except printing and binding – which i used to do myself) from illustration, design and typesetting all myself. The person I need to rely on here is me. I’ve self published over 1000 pages of comics, so I’m more than qualified for the task of realising this project. I’m fast too, so getting out backer rewards within the June timeframe should easily achieveable, as long as life doesn’t get in the way, but being that you’ve trusted me enough with your pledge, I wont let anything get in the way!!

Other than my finished works, I have a bunch of stories which are still in development, but only two of which will be ready in time for this Kickstarter (being Machine//Heart vol 2, and Funk Buddies). They will be finished by the time this Kickstarter has been completed and are a part of the rewards available to backers. Machine//Heart Vol 3 is still in the writing phase, and will be available to the top tier backers once it’s completed at the beginning of next year (so please be patient with that one!)

If I don’t succeed here, my convention efforts this year will be severely crippled and my dreams of being published pushed back another year. So helping any way that you can will mean a great deal to me!

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