#gonna throw all the candy off a mountain

[ar-ugh-orn]

I feel like the Grinch but for Halloween this year. The Hinch.

[baldval]

Since you made one for Valentine’s Day, how bout celebrating Halloween with the main hazbin cast? Maybe Charlie is throwing a Halloween party or something!

HALLOWEEN W HAZBIN! ₊˚⊹♡

characters: vox, charlie, valentino, lucifer, alastor

warnings: nothing :)

a/n: idk if i like alastor's part, he's just so hard to write imo😭😭 pls tell me what you think guys🤞

VOX:

꩜ it’s obvious to anyone that vox looooves halloween. 

꩜ he’s claimed to you on several occasions that it’s his favorite holiday.

꩜ and that getting the chance to spend it with you only makes it better. 

꩜ and how does vox spend Halloween? two words.

꩜ haunted house. 

꩜ you never really understood the concept of having those on hell.

꩜ hell is already scary as it is.

꩜ however, being an overlord, having the control that vox has, eliminates some of the fear most people normally feel.

꩜ so a haunted house is his favourite place to go when he wants to feel some of that adrenaline.

꩜ he picked you up that night and away you went, ready to get your scare-factor on. 

꩜ darling, if you get scared, just let me know!” he pointed to himself with a grin "i'll stop the whole thing, i swear".

꩜ “afterall, I wouldn’t be much of a man if I can’t protect the person I care about most.” he smiles at you and you can't help blushing.

꩜ you stuck to him like glue, laughing and screaming through every house you went through.

꩜ it was well into the night before you both decided to call it.

꩜ your throats raw and blood pumping from the adrenaline.

꩜ but even in your stupor, vox still managed to take your breath away once he brought you back to your apartment.

꩜ his arms circled around you as he kisses your face.

꩜ you bury your face in his neck as you hug him goodbye.

CHARLIE:

꩜ as far as charlie is concerned, you can’t celebrate Halloween without a good time.

꩜ and to her, the best way to do that is with a party!

꩜ she throws one once every year at the hotel, because, how could she not?

꩜ “you’ll come right? you have to! pleeeease!”

꩜ she’s so adorably persistent, eyes all puppy dog wide and hands folded.

꩜ your answer is obvious.

꩜ and it had her jumping up and down throughout the whole lobby.

꩜ upon arriving at the hotel, you were completely in awe of the change of scenery.

꩜ what once had a reddish vintage look now practically screamed 'halloween'.

꩜ costumes, decorations, snacks, bowls filled with candy, games, music.

꩜ you knew your girlfriend sure took things to the extreme, but nonetheless, it was always fun.

VALENTINO:

꩜ valentino loves halloween.

꩜ you could say he likes it for the aesthetic and you would be right.

꩜ he'd invite you over that night to spend the evening with him.

꩜ you thought maybe you were gonna go to a halloween party, somewhere filled with decorations and people.

꩜ but when you get to his house you only see a mountain of scary and halloween themed movies piled high on the coffee table in his living room.

꩜ along with a bowl of popcorn, soda, and a selection of only your favourite candies of course.

꩜ “are we… gonna watch all of these?”

꩜ "well duh. why? you got something else to do?”

꩜ unexpected, indeed, but who would complain?

꩜ it was hard to pick which movie to watch first since he had such an extensive collection, but you both decided to kick things off with the classic 'the nightmare before christmas'. 

꩜ after that, 'carrie', 'scream', 'anabelle', 'halloween' too of course.

꩜ name it, and valentino had it. 

꩜ you sat on the sofa between his legs the entire time, bowl of popcorn in your lap, and you silently fed him pieces of the salty snack while he unwrapped and fed you bits of candy. 

꩜ it was the perfect way to spend halloween and you wished you could have gone at it all night.

꩜ but after the 7th film, you had promptly knocked out against val’s chest, popcorn bowl empty.

꩜ but instead of waking you up, he merely shut off the tv and covered both your bodies with a blanket, kissing your forehead.

LUCIFER:

꩜ you're getting ready as you anxiously wait for the king of hell.

꩜ the hotel was organising a halloween party, and of course you couldn't miss it.

꩜ and of course you were going with lucifer.

꩜ you couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement mingled with nerves.

꩜ just as you were beginning to think he might not show, you heard a knock at the door.

꩜ with a mischievous grin, he strutted over to you.

꩜ "sorry for the delay, darling," he said, offering you his hand. "hope you didn't wait too long."

꩜ you accepted his hand, feeling a thrill run down your spine as his fingers intertwined with yours.

꩜ "not at all," you replied, trying to sound nonchalant despite the butterflies in your stomach.

꩜ together, you walked in to the lobby, greeted by the lively sounds of the halloween party in full swing.

꩜ you were sitting at the bar, just chatting.

꩜ "i have to go to the bathroom, i'll be right back" he says with a wink as he leaves.

꩜ "hmm so he really is in love with you" you hear husk, the bartender, say.

꩜ "oh so you've doubted that?"

꩜ "not really, it's just that it's the first time i see it in live action".

꩜ "what do you mean?" you question him.

꩜ "i mean, do you see the way he stares at you as you talk." he fills up a glass. "pure adoration."

꩜ you feel heat creeping up your cheeks and turn around before husk realises how flushed you are.

꩜ lucifer gets back and it isn't long before you find yourselves in the ballroom.

꩜ with a twirl, he pulls you into his arms, and the two of you began to dance to the infectious beat of the music.

꩜ as you moved together, laughter bubbled up between you, your clothes swishing in tune with the music.

꩜ "you know," he says, his voice low as he spun you around, "there's nothing i would want more in the world that being with you."

꩜ you couldn't help but smile at his words, feeling a warmth spreading through you.

꩜ "well i can assure you it goes both ways." you replied, caught up in the moment as you gazed into his eyes.

ALASTOR:

꩜ it does surprise you that the radio demon has no idea what halloween is.

꩜ he comes up to you and asks you why the whole lobby is filled with pumpkins and little paper ghosts and black and orange streamers.

꩜ you simply smile and say, “it’s halloween!”

꩜ “oh…”

꩜ it’s not that he didn’t know what hallowen was, he explained to you.

꩜ he just wasn’t really aware of what occurred during the holiday itself.

꩜ so you decided it was time to change that. 

꩜ you told him to meet you at your room, not giving him any more details than that.

꩜ when he arrived, you took him by the hand and led him towards one of the best places you could possibly think of to give him a proper introduction to the spookiest night of the year. 

꩜ the pumpkin patch. 

꩜ upon arriving, alastor seemed absolutely awestruck at all the different things there were to do.

꩜ the corn maze, hayride, petting zoo (to which you found out that alastor is a major softie for animals).

꩜ and of course, pumpkin carving.

꩜ it was so cute watching his expressions.

꩜ how his brow would furrow when he tried removing the guts and how his tongue would poke out when he began working on the face.

꩜ you almost forgot you had your own pumpkin to carve. 

꩜ you both left in the later evening, hand in hand as the stars twinkled above you. 

꩜ “so what did you think? did you have fun?”

꩜ you were expecting a nod, or a quick little hum. 

꩜ but he straight whisked you off your feet and into his arms.

꩜ and you knew that right now, the smile on his face was truly genuine.

[weebsinstash]

Lucifer is getting the strap

I don't know if you've ever seen any of the theory posts but a lot of people have pointed out Lucifer's obsession with the circus and how his Hell is based off of a circus troupe. You've got him as the Ringmaster and he even pulled Charlie into a giant circus tent in "More Than Anything", Asmodeus with the contortionists, Bee is the animal shows, Mammon is... the musicians? Or the concessions lmao, although Bee does have cotton candy which is a common circus concession and she IS Gluttony so it could just as easily be her?

Anyways, I've been constantly thinking recently of Lucifer with a female Reader (obviously) but the other day some specific kind of clicked for me and like,

Lucifer is just watching Reader help out with the hotel construction and he's Trying To Be SO Normal as he's watching your arms flex when you lift things and the ways the muscles in your back move and MAYBE JUST MAYBE you aren't thinking straight when SUDDEN ACCIDENT and something is falling from above and, you just yoink him up off the ground and tug him back before something falls on him. It all happens so fast that you don't realize he could've defended himself totally fine and you're setting him down just SO embarrassed and meanwhile he's just looking up at you "so you're pretty strong, huh 😳👉👈"

I can just see Reader making some sort of joke later on, "well, don't most circus troupes have a strongwoman?" and Lucifer just looks up at you with the most 😍 ass expression because, you're basically like calling yourself a member of the crew, his daughter's crew really, but, he's part of it, so, like, you're basically saying you guys are great friends! And also feeding into his little... hobby obsession thing! He loves it ❤️

Of course then we have to have an incident where, Reader having freakish strength or not, you eventually need to be rescued. OR YOU STAND UP FOR LUCIFER AND IT DRIVES HIM WILD. Can you imagine being in a bar and some MASSIVE mountain of a dude starts giving you trouble and you're acting getting kind of scared and. Here's tiny Lucifer, "hey you shouldn't speak to her like that! Apologize!" And this guy just laughs in his fucking face and starts mocking him, talking down to him, Lucifer's face is turning RED--

and you just fucking slug the guy, "you can't fucking speak to him like that!!" Like imagine you're growling at this guy to get up and apologize to the King of Hell and it's like HE CANT YOU KNOCKED HIM UNCONSCIOUS and Lucifer's just, twirling a piece of his hair around a finger, "oh golly, you really gave it to him huh?" and grinning like an idiot

Tiny Lucifer loving when you wear heels and get EVEN TALLER or loving watching you work out or just DO things. No, please, by all means, wear those baggy shorts while you go for a run outside, he isn't drooling over your legs or anything! Maybe he's a little more sober when he "drunkenly" invites you to arm wrestle, just to feel your strength against him. SINGLE BRAINCELL BOTTOM LUCIFER WHO YOU SAVE FROM AN ACCIDENT SO HE INTENTIONALLY CAUSES MORE ACCIDENTS SO YOU SCOOP HIM UP MORE.

All I'm saying is that I work a manual labor job and I've been really slimming down and getting biceps and someday we're gonna enter our Muscle Mommy Reader era where she's just running around domming dudes and getting into bar fights and throwing cars at bitches. Vox or Val gives you some lip and you're grabbing them by the throat and pushing them down into their seat and telling him to stop being such a bad boy or you'll have to punish him, before suddenly remembering You're At Work and frantically apologizing before running off while they wonder when the fuck you got so strong and... also how much would they have to pay you to do that again--

[starlitangels]

Family Christmas

I celebrate Christmas. I wanted to write a little Christmas thing for The Brothers™ (and their partners) 2.1k words

—

Sunshine

"There they are!" a voice exclaimed the second I opened the car door. I turned toward the front door of the house to see a beaming face turning to shout back into the house, "Aaron! They made it! They're here!"

I smiled as Aaron's partner came running out of the house, arms out, and slammed me into a hug. They held on tight, laughing and smiling the whole time. I heard Elliott chuckle on the other side of the car as he climbed out. Aaron's partner kept their arm around my shoulder as they released me from the spine-crushing hug.

"So! How have you two been?" they asked brightly, dragging me back toward the house.

Aaron appeared at the door. Once a year I saw him in a T-shirt and jeans instead of slacks or khakis and a button up—and every year it was just as jarring.

The smile he gave me was stiff, but I was used to that. Baby steps, sunshine, Elliott had said on the drive here. And, in fairness to Aaron, his smile wasn't as stiff as I was used to.

"We've been better," I said. "Things have been improving for us."

Aaron's partner squeezed my shoulders. "That's great! I'm happy to hear that!"

"Thanks," I said. I tried to turn so I could help Elliott with the luggage, but Aaron's partner was stronger than I expected.

"You two can handle your luggage in a minute," they insisted. "Hugs first!" With that, they shoved me at Elliott's brother. Who was kind enough to catch me before I stumbled face-first into the porch. Aaron gave his partner a scolding look that they pointedly ignored as he gave me a half-hearted hug.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi Aaron."

At that moment, Elliott caught up, throwing Aaron's partner into a hug themselves and letting them go to hug his brother.

"God, it's a lot warmer here. Almost doesn't feel like Christmas," Elliott joked, taking my hand. "There's not even any snow on the mountains!"

Aaron shrugged. "Southern California," he said.

His partner sighed dramatically. "C'mon! Get in the house! No use all of us standing on the porch! You're here for family Christmas for the first time in years, and dammit we're gonna make the most of it!"

Aaron chuckled and took a step back, pushing the door open. "Come in, come in," he said. Elliott pulled me into the house by the hand.

It hadn't changed much since I got rescued from CloseKnit's basement and Elliott and I had spent a few days sleeping here before returning home. There were new throw pillows on the sofa and loveseat and the Christmas tree took up the space in front of the living room window, but other than that, everything was mostly the same.

Elliott pulled me down onto the loveseat beside him while Aaron and his partner took the sofa. "You two are probably tired," he said. "It's a long drive."

I shrugged. "We took it in two days. Makes it a little easier. We've done it before."

"You could have flown. We woulda come picked you up from the airport," Aaron's partner said.

Elliott's grip on my hand tightened ever so slightly. "We know," he said. "But we like the drive."

I sucked in a breath and met Aaron's partner's eyes. "You know I got in a car accident, right? Killed me for a short while?"

They nodded.

"It took a long time for me to be comfortable driving again. Elliott and I actually met at a public transport station since I was too scared to drive back from college and he was just coming off a boring date. I still... I still struggle with it sometimes. So the drive here is kinda therapy for me."

They blinked. "Oh. I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "No worries. You couldn't have known. And the gesture is appreciated nonetheless." I grinned. Elliott was leaned against my side, head on my shoulder, eyes closed and breathing deep, but not actually asleep.

Aaron's partner smacked their legs. "Howzabout this: we let you two take a nap. We have to run to the grocery store anyway. I am a dunce and forgot some of the candy for Candy Poker tonight. Everything else is ready for dinner, we just have a few things to grab; but that should be enough time for an hour nap in complete quiet without any—"

"Did anyone invite Mom?" Elliott interrupted, jolting up from my shoulder.

My eyebrows twitched together briefly at the look Aaron and his partner exchanged. Aaron's Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"No," he admitted.

"O-oh," Elliott said. "Okay."

"El..."

"No. No. I get it." Elliott shook his head and met his brother's partner's eyes. "A nap sounds fantastic. But I don't want to kick you out of your own home—"

"Nonsense," Aaron's partner cut him off, waving dismissively. "It's good for us to leave the house. Even if the store will be super crowded. Day before Christmas Eve and everything." They stood from the sofa and dragged Aaron to his feet too. "C'mon. Let's give them some time to take a quick nap so we can all have fun together later."

Aaron steely blue-grey eyes met Elliott's one last time before he let his partner drag him to the garage. I heard the garage door rise, two car doors shut, an engine turn over, and after a moment the door lowered again.

Elliott got off the loveseat and went to the sofa, beckoning me to follow. I did. He laid with his back to the backrest and snuggled me close to his chest.

"Magic?" Elliott asked. "It'll be faster. Get more time out of the nap."

"Sure," I said.

"Where do we want to go?"

I reached and twisted one of his dirty blond curls around my fingers. "Remember that space station one? Where we sat on the observation deck and watched a nebula spin slowly for hours? That was so peaceful."

"Then let's go back there." He gave me a gentle kiss. "Sweet dreams, sunshine." With a chuckle, he expended some magic.

It dragged us both into unconsciousness.

—

Smartass

"So... do I get an explanation on what just happened? What's the deal with your mom and your brother?" I asked.

Aaron's grip tightened around the steering wheel, making the leather creak softly. "I told you what my late teenage years were like. Working two jobs to keep the house afloat after Dad died and Mom checked out."

"Mmhmm," I agreed.

Aaron bobbed his head. "Who do you think took care of her while I was gone all the time?" He sighed. "Elliott and Mom were always closer than I was with her—even before Dad died. The joke that he's the adopted one so he's the one they chose came to mind a lot. I'm not gonna pretend it didn't hurt. Because it definitely did. But the fact of the matter is..." Aaron shook his head. "I'm too much like my dad. And El has... so much compassion. For everybody. Of course he was better at emotional connections than I was. Of course he'd think about inviting Mom—where I haven't any relationship worth speaking of with her since I left for college."

"... Oh. Forget I asked."

"No. You deserve to know. I meant to tell you. Just slipped my mind."

I nodded, for once not having anything else to say.

—

Sunshine

"Time for presents!" a voice announced. I jolted out of sleep on an air mattress in the living room behind the sofa. Elliott groaned and pulled a pillow over his head, yanking the blankets up over his bare shoulder.

I blinked against morning sunlight. "Wh... time is it?" I grumbled out.

"It's ten," Aaron's partner said as another curtain was pulled back, spilling more light into the living room. "Aaron mentioned he always had to wake Elliott up on Christmas morning. I thought he was kidding."

"He wasn't," Elliott said, voice muffled by the pillow.

"Well, I let you sleep long enough. Now it's time for presents! Come on, come on! Up, up, up!"

Elliott groaned in complaint again, but smacked around until he found his discarded pajama shirt and sat up to pull it on. His curls were an absolute disaster around his head. I managed not to laugh but only because I was used to the sight. The sound of a coffee machine percolating and a kettle boiling met my ears.

"Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?" Aaron called from the kitchen.

"Hot chocolate, please," Elliott and I replied at the same time.

Aaron's partner laughed. "In sync," they muttered. Louder, they added, "I'll have some coffee, babe."

"Got it."

Aaron made morning drinks while Elliott woke up better and I cleared the gumminess of sleep from my eyes and mouth and lungs. Elliott shook his hair and tried to tame it somewhat with his fingers.

We managed to sit on the couch without falling back to sleep. Aaron emerged from the kitchen with two mugs in hand. One was purple with gold stars and a gold Sweet Dreams written in cursive on one side. The handle looked like it had broken in at least three places and glued back together. Elliott reached for it before Aaron had even gotten close, smiling softly—almost sad. Aaron passed it over, and handed me a grey-green one with a large Legend of Zelda Triforce on one side. His partner had gone to retrieve the other two drinks, handing Aaron a plain red mug and holding one shaped like BB-8 for themself.

"Did someone tell you I like Zelda or did you just happen to have this one on hand?" I asked with a grin as Elliott and I thanked him for bringing the drinks over.

"Both. Elliott mentioned you loved Tears of the Kingdom and that one—" He nodded pointedly at his partner. "—is every bit a nerd that you are, and likes collecting eclectic mugs."

"The nicher the better," his partner added.

"I wouldn't call Zelda niche," I remarked.

They shrugged. "That isn't the weirdest mug I own," they replied.

"Trust me: that one is one of the tamer ones," Aaron added flatly while his partner laughed.

"True!" they agreed. "Now. Let's. Open. Presents!"

Elliott nodded, violet eyes drooped halfway shut, as he picked up a package from under the tree and passed it to Aaron, sitting the closest to it. The next package went to Aaron's partner, and the third for me. "Those ones are from me," he said.

Mine was tiny. I tore off the paper to reveal a box that usually held jewelry. I pried the lid open.

A gold ring, thin, with the band tied in a knot, sat in the velvet.

"You can call that a promise ring if you want," Elliott said softly. "You and me have been tied together for a long time. I love you, sunshine, and I want to stay part of your life forever."

I smiled and gave him a big kiss.

A squeal broke us apart to see Aaron's partner holding an enormous scented candle with both hands. There were five different layers of wax. They beamed at Elliott. "Did Aaron tell you I love candles?"

"He mentioned you like having a lit candle while you take a bath to decompress, yeah," Elliott said. "I didn't know which scents you'd really like, so I went for the soothing ones."

They wiggled with excitement. "That's amazing! Thank you!"

Aaron heaved a sigh. "Elliott," he said, lifting his gift.

A red mug, larger than the one currently cooling off his coffee. One side had black letters. "World's Okayest Boss." The other side, the one that would face Aaron when he held it, had white letters. "World's Best Brother."

A cheeky grin appeared on Elliott's face. He said nothing. Just picked up the next set of presents. One for himself, his brother, and his brother's partner. From me.

I watched the three of them open theirs as I put on the ring Elliott gave me. Perfect fit. Of course it was.

There were still divides. Wounds and scars healing between the love of my life and his big brother. But they were behaving like brothers on Christmas morning. Laughing with their partners. Loosening up and opening up to each other for the first time in who knew how long.

But, for the first time since I'd met Elliott, I felt like the room was full of family warmth.

—

Tag list: @pinksparkl

[p0ssywhippedcream]

i’m not entirely sure how ticket time works so let me know if i’ve done this wrong. could i please request a fic where reader (preferably male or gn) is having a sleepover with Near (Death Note)? perhaps with some blanket forts, snacks, cuddles, plushies, etc. thank you sm!!

Hi friend! Yeah this is how it works, you just send in a request and if it follows my blog rules which are in my pinned post, I’ll write it! I’m gonna make this one gn so more people can read it any enjoy, thank you so much for the ask! <33

“Are you sure this is something you want to do?”

“Near,” You laughed airily, “You said we could have one night to do anything I wanted to do. I want a sleepover, what could go wrong?

“Do I have to wear this though?” He cocked an eyebrow and gestured towards his outfit.

Okay so maybe making him wear an arctic fox onesie was a little much but it was seriously adorable and besides, he needed to match you. Your brown bear onesie needed company.

“Absolutely!” You declared, “These are traditional sleepover outfits. Now, what to do first…”

You produced the sleepover list Near had made you write. He wanted you to write down all the things you were going to do tonight.

SELEPOVER LIST!!!

1. Onesies prolly

2. Pillow fight

3. Snacks/desserts deserts

4. Blancket fort

5. MONOPOLIE!!

“Uh, so… blanket fort next?” You asked.

Near leaned over to look at the list. “Why did you put a C in blanket?”

You groaned, “I’m bad at spelling, don’t bring it up.”

“You spelled Monopoly with an I and a E… and you spelled dessert instead of desert.”

“Oh my god, shut up please.” You stood up and left the room only to return with a plethora of pillows, stuffed animals and blankets.

“Okay, have you ever built a pillow fort before?” You asked and chucked a pillow out him, he dodged but got hit square in the face with a panda PillowPet.

“No, never,” He adorably glared at the panda, “How do we do it?”

“I think it’s best if you just watch and follow along.” He nodded and you began stacking pillows, finding chairs and throwing blankets on top of them. Eventually the center of the room was a mountain of colorful cloth and chairs that you and Near admired.

You smiled and grabbed his hand, lifting up one part of blanket and crawling inside. You dropped his hand halfway in and made it entirely inside as he tried to follow you. He bumped a chair and suddenly the entire fort collapsed on top of you.

Laughing and pushing through the blankets in an attempt to move them out of the way, Near’s face appeared in front of you holding a pillow sheepishly.

“Sorry…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” You chuckled and shoved a Squish-mallow off your lap. “ What do you want to do next?”

Very quickly you had moved on to the pillow fight. It only lasted a little while because poor skinny Near was not good with exercise and he kept getting pummeled in the face and falling over.

Next you played Monopoly and of course Near was going to win. He was fantastic at the game. Then you convinced him to turn around because there was something he had to see. Near couldn’t figure out how suddenly you had triple the amount of money you used to. He didn’t realize cheating was an option.

Finally you moved onto the snack portion. One failed, burnt cake and a quick Target trip later and you had enough Sour Patch Kids to kill an elephant.

Lazing on the pillow and candy covered floor, you watched an old movie together and munched on Oreos.

“That was worth it, I suppose.” Near said.

“You’re glad you gave me a night of your life instead of working like you always do? I’m honored.” You said sarcastically.

“Yeah… It was nice…” He gave you a small smile and you gave him one back.

“Good. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. We could do it again sometime.”

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

here to stay (Rhett Abbott x OC)

Summary: Rhett catches one of Tessa's boys doing something he shouldn't and he decides to step in.

Pairing: Rhett Abbott x OC (Tessa Abernathy)

Word Count: 3112

Warnings: supporting oc characters, an attempted theft but nothing serious, skipping school, rhett being so in love already

TWO | THREE | FOUR

✎……likes are great but comments/reblogs are even better!

✎……ty @newlibrary for looking this over for me

✎……masterlist on pinned

The sun was bright and beautiful that Thursday morning, the Wyoming sky stretched in infinite blue. As Rhett drove into town, he could see the mountains far off in the distance — high peaks topped with snow. It was probably one of the last warm days before the weather finally turned completely into autumn. The winds picking up across the plains and the forests turned to brilliant shades of orange, yellow, and red.

But as he passed the sign by the side of the road that officially welcomed him into the city of Wabang, his gaslight came on.

He knew it would happen, it was one of the reasons he drove into town in the first place. That and using the internet cafe to sign up for the next rodeo that was passing through. 

No matter how much he and Perry begged, there was no way their dad was getting home internet installed at the ranch. The man still didn’t even have a cellphone, and just installing a cable dish was like pulling teeth. No matter how much Rhett and Perry tried to bring the ranch into the 21st Century, Royal Abbott liked things the old fashioned way.

Some days, Rhett thought he was just determined to run their ranch, and by some extension their family, into the ground.

The gas station was empty, considering the hour. All the farmers and ranch hands were still out in the fields, kids were still in school and parents at work. And no one was ever passing through Wabang. It was just another stop on a road to nothing. So Rhett had his choice of pumps as he pulled into the lot.

After making his choice, closest to the Smart Mart, he went inside to pay.

“Hey, Rhett, how’s it goin’, kid?” Mr. Myers greeted as the bell above the door chimed. 

“Hey.” Rhett threw up a hand to the old man behind the register, then he gestured back at the coolers lining the wall. “Gonna grab a drink real quick.” 

Mr. Myers nodded, and Rhett turned down one of the aisles. Trying not to get distracted by the Slim Jims or the pork rinds lining the shelves. 

Or the teenage boy lurking around the candy. Rhett checked his phone — it was only one o’clock. No way the kid was out of school yet. The boy glanced up at Rhett as he passed him by. Scrawny, backpack slung over his shoulders, dark hair, brown eyes large and full of suspicion locked on him until Rhett looked away first. And that’s when it hit him. 

He recognized that kid — he was one of Tessa’s boys. 

One of the few he met when they ran into each other a few weeks back. He was picking up something from the bank and she was taking a few of the boys out shopping for new shoes. They only stopped to talk for a minute, two teenagers lingering behind her back and throwing him dirty looks. 

But that kid had definitely been with her. 

Rhett grabbed an energy drink from the cooler. And he looked back just in time to see the kid snatch a candy bar from the shelf and stick it in his jacket pocket. Rhett looked back up into the boy’s face, only to be met with an unreadable brown eyed stare. Again, Rhett looked away first.

He didn’t exactly know what he should do. Eyes locked on the floor and fingers tapping against the cold can in his hand as he made his way back towards the register. Clearly the kid was skipping school and he just stole something. But was that really any of Rhett’s business? It sure as hell wouldn’t have been before. And he wasn’t entirely sure if it was his connection to Tessa, whatever it may be, that made him feel like he should do something in the first place. No. It was the fact that he could see himself in that kid.

All that anger. All that apathy. All that wondering what the hell the point was when he was going nowhere fast. 

In some ways he still felt all of that. But he was old enough now to realize what he needed back then. What might have helped him become a better man. Someone to encourage him. Someone to be gentle with their sense. Someone to tell him that everything was going to be okay.

And if in that moment he was it for that kid — who was he to just turn a blind eye?

When he made it up to the register, Mr. Myers wasn’t looking at him with the usual smile hidden by his thick white mustache. Instead, his bushy eyebrows were furrowed low over his eyes as he looked at something off to Rhett’s left. He had a pretty good guess as to what it could be. Rhett set down his drink, pulled his wallet from his back pocket to pay for it and the gas. 

“Hold on, Rhett,” Mr. Myers grumbled. 

Then the old man rounded the corner with a shout. Rhett turned, and Mr. Myers had the boy by the arm — his other hand buried in the kid’s jacket pocket. 

“Ah-ha!” Mr. Myers exclaimed as he held up the candybar. “Try to steal from me you little —  “

Rhett didn’t even realize he had anything to say, that he was going to step in, until his mouth was already open and words were coming out: “He’s with me, Trip. I’m payin’.” 

Mr. Myers shot him an unbelieving look, then glanced down at the kid one more time — who just glared right back before ripping his arm out of the older man’s grasp. Mr. Myers kept the candy and brought it back around behind the counter so Rhett could pay. Out of the corner of his eye, as he said which pump and how much money he would like to pay, Rhett made sure the boy stayed put. And he did. Hands in his pockets as he stared down at the floor, shifting from one foot to the other anxiously. 

“Have a good one,” Mr. Myers spoke warily as he glanced at the boy one last time. 

But Rhett paid him no mind as he took the drink and the candy and walked out the door. The kid trailing after him at a distance. And Rhett didn’t look back as he walked over to his truck, trying to think of how the hell he was going to handle this now that he was in it. 

“Hey!” the kid called out from behind him. “Gimme back my candy, asshole!” 

Rhett tucked the bar of chocolate into the breast pocket of his flannel, drink set in the bed of his truck, as he undid the gas cap. “Pretty sure it’s mine now — paid for it.” 

“And I stole it fair and square!” the boy replied, stood near the tailgate with his chin raised. 

“You got caught fair and square,” Rhett laughed back, inserting the nozzle and beginning to pump the diesel. 

“Whatever,” he grumbled back, “Can I have it back?”

“Ya could at least say thank you for savin’ your ass.”

“You didn’t save my ass.” 

“Yeah, I did.” Rhett replaced the nozzle and closed the gascap. “Trip caught ya. If it weren’t for me, he woulda figured out where ya live and he woulda called Tess — “

The kid stood a bit straighter, his chin dropping for the first time. “You know Tess?”

“Yep. Don’t think she’ll be too happy when she hears ya ditched school,” Rhett said, grabbing his drink and leaning his forearms across the side of his truck. 

“You don’t know she’ll find out.” 

“No, I don’t. But…She seems like the type to always find out eventually.”

The kid looked down completely and Rhett knew he was right. The corner of Rhett’s mouth ticked up in a smile as he took a steading breath. His heart pounded in his chest. He had no idea what he was doing, what words were going to come out of his mouth next. He just hoped they were helpful and maybe they were kind. 

“What’s your name, kid?” Rhett asked quietly. 

“Wyatt,” he replied, new shoe scraping against the pavement. “Wyatt Beeman.” 

“Come on, I’ll take ya home — if ya want.” Rhett nodded his head towards the cab of the truck. 

He didn’t look back as he opened the driver’s side door and climbed inside. It was entirely Wyatt’s choice. Rhett knew he was a stranger to him, and he didn’t want to force him into doing something he was uncomfortable with. He would understand if the kid just walked away. He slammed his door shut with a sigh, drink nestled in a cup holder and keys in the ignition. For a moment, he thought this was the end of it. He half expected to look in his rearview mirror and see Wyatt walking away. But he was pleasantly surprised when the passenger door opened and a navy blue backpack got thrown inside — followed by Wyatt himself. 

Grinning softly, Rhett started the truck as Wyatt closed the door behind him. And as he drove out of the lot towards the Boy’s Home, Rhett took the candy bar out of his pocket and tossed it into Wyatt’s lap.

Tessa was up on a ladder on the porch when Rhett pulled up in front of the Boy’s Home. A pair of bolt cutters squeezed between her straining arms as she tried to break the remaining chain keeping the porch swing attached to the ceiling. At the sound of his truck door creaking shut, she looked over with a grin. 

But it instantly fell when she saw who else was getting out of his truck.

“Is it too late to drive around the block one more time?” Wyatt mumbled as Rhett moved to stand at his side.

“Yep,” Rhett responded on a sigh as he clapped the young boy on the shoulder and urged him up the sidewalk. 

A grin ticked up one corner of Rhett’s mouth as he watched Tessa climb down the ladder — bolt cutters held firmly in her grasp. She didn’t look mad, if anything she looked concerned. And if Rhett had any guess, that was a foreign concept to Wyatt. Someone being concerned about his well being and his whys rather than just being mad and disappointed that he did something wrong.

She left the tool by the front door and wiped her hands off on her jeans as the boys slowly made their way up the porch steps. 

Rhett thought she looked pretty. Even in her old jeans and button up tucked into the waist — kerchief keeping back her hair. Even if she wasn’t wearing a dress like the last time he saw her a week ago. When he bought her a thank you drink and she slipped away from him to go hangout with her friends with a lingering kiss on his cheek. When he left without getting his flannel back and he didn’t even care. When he went to sleep that night with his thoughts continuously wandering back to the feeling of her skin beneath his hand and the look in her eyes when he nearly kissed her — when she wanted him to kiss her. 

God, how he wanted to kiss her. How he wanted to know her in every way. How he wanted to live in her spring and smiles and warm laughter until Death came to take him. 

“Skippin’ school, again?” Tessa questioned, hands on her hips, when the pair finally made it onto the poured concrete porch. “You know you’re gonna have to talk to Linda, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Wyatt sighed, gaze focused on her shoes. 

Tessa gestured for him to leave Rhett’s side and come under her arm. And Wyatt went willingly, head hanging. Rhett watched as she smoothed her hand over the back of his head of dark hair, all touches and looks gentle and understanding. 

Then she looked up at Rhett. “Thanks for bringin’im home. Um, if you don’t mind, could you come inside and explain what happened?”

“Yeah, yeah — I can do that,” Rhett answered, reaching up to pluck his stetson off his head and push back his hair. 

She smiled up at him thankfully before she turned, Wyatt still under her arm, and pushed open the front door. Rhett had only ever seen the inside of the Amelia County Boy’s Home from over her shoulder. It was nicer than he expected it to be. The front door opened into a long entry hallway with closed doors on the left and open entryways on the right that stretched back until it reached a set of stairs that went up to a landing, then curved back towards the door to whatever was on the second floor. The wood floors creaked beneath his booted feet and needed a good polishing. But there was a hall tree where he could hang his hat and a piano and a bookcase filled to the brim and then some. It was all very homey, dated, but homey. 

A heavyset woman with dark hair and glasses came out into the hall from the entryway near the stairs. She raised a brow when she saw Wyatt with Tessa, but then both of them shot up her forehead at the sight of Rhett Abbott closing the door behind him. 

But she chose to ignore him and focused her beady eyes back on Wyatt. “Truant again are we?”

“Yes,” Wyatt sighed, Tessa squeezing his shoulder. 

“Let’s go have a talk then,” Linda said, a bit more on the stern side but still kind. “In the living room — come on.” 

Wyatt sighed again, head thrown back as he sluggishly marched into the open doorway immediately to their right. Rhett glanced inside to see a few couches, an armchair, and a tv st into an old wood cabinet.

Tessa watched the boy under her care go with a small smile and a furrowed brow, hands shoved into her back pockets. Then she seemed to come to herself and looked up at Rhett. 

“Here, we can chat in the kitchen.”

She led him down the hall and into the doorway Linda came out of. It immediately spilled into the other end of the living room, where Wyatt was now sitting on the couch with his arms crossed. But with a sharp left turn and through another doorway, they were walking through the dining room. There was a huge cabinet with glass inlaid doors filled with china — the plates and little cups rattled ominously with every step they took. Rhett wondered if there was something wrong with the foundation of the house. Another doorway at the other end of the dining room, and they were in a brightly lit kitchen with a spacious breakfast nook — windows all around and a bowl of fruit on the counter. 

“D’you wanna drink or somethin’? We’ve got water or lemonade,” Tessa said as she rounded the kitchen counter, already taking a glass down from a cabinet.

“Uh — yeah. I-I’ll take a water.” Rhett glanced at the round wooden table, unsure if he should sit.

“Thanks again — for bringin’ him back here,” she said as she filled one glass with water and another with lemonade.

He smiled in his small way. “‘Course.” 

“Where’d you find’im?”

“Um, Trip Myers’ gas station.”

“He try to steal somethin’?” she asked as she came back around the counter, a glass in each hand. 

Rhett swallowed, thinking back to the conversation he had with Wyatt in his truck. Then he finally muttered with a shrug, “Nah.” 

He went on to explain the whole series of events, leaving out the part where Wyatt got caught trying to steal a candy bar and Rhett stepped in. Instead Rhett said that he bought him the chocolate of his own volition. He promised the kid he wouldn’t tell her about it, and he wasn’t a man to go back on his word. The whole time he spoke, he kept his eyes focused on her jean clad knees and the way they nearly brushed his own as they sat angled towards each other. All the while something bubbled and brewed in the back of his mind like a teapot on the verge of singing. 

He had some inkling as to what it could be. He was pretty sure it had been there since that night at the Handsome Gambler. Only now he didn’t have dim lighting and booze to make him feel more confident. It was daytime, he was sitting in her kitchen, and he was just Rhett Abbott. A cowboy who brought bare to nothing to the table and didn’t really feel like he deserved someone like her. 

But who was also too selfish to let her go so easily. 

They finished their drinks and he thanked her for her hospitality. Then she led him back out into the entry hall and to the front door, going so far as to come out onto the front porch with him. 

“Gotta get back to work on getting rid of this old thing before it gets too cold,” she said as she shut the door and picked up the bolt cutters again. “S’shame, I love porch swings.” 

Rhett didn’t even realize he was going to say anything until his mouth was already open and words were coming out: “D’you wanna go on a date — sometime?”

There it was. The teapot was singing. It overflowed onto the stove with a sizzle and some steam. With Tess staring up at him wide eyed and the bolt cutters limp in her hand. 

“What?” she questioned. 

“Uh — “ Rhett smiled, shifted on his feet as he finally gained the confidence to look her in the eye. “I think you’re one hell’uv’a woman — and I’d like to take ya on a date…If ya want.” 

He watched, relief flooding his lungs in a huff, as the biggest grin he had ever seen stretched her features. Her blue eyes crinkled at the corners, her cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink as a soft giggle poured out of her. She put a hand over her mouth to cover it up, looking away from him for a moment, and he wished she wouldn’t. But it made him laugh too as he nervously adjusted his hat. 

Then she took a steadying breath and said, “I actually have tomorrow night off. Would you wanna…Do somethin’ then?” 

“Yeah. I’ll uh, pick you up at six?”

“I’d like that.” 

They exchanged numbers and said their goodbyes. And Rhett walked back to his truck feeling lighter than he had in his entire life.

i no longer have a taglist, please follow @anniesocsandlibrary and turn on notifications for fic updates!

[elysia-nsimp]

Tagging: @queerlordsimon @thesunshineriptide @aetherphobia @end3rm1st @ladyzsgolla

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 5 // Part 6

Warnings: Cursing, caps, joking threats

Enjoy lmao

——

Leona: anyway please stop shoving paper up your ass

——

Yuu: they’re so louuddddd

Floyd, handing them scissors: go get them

——

Ruggie: The theme is jungle animals why is Hatsune Miku here

——

Deuce: maybe the real lollipops were the friends we made along the way :)

Trey: no. eat food.

——

Jack, holding up a teachers pass:

Epel: you don’t need to hold the pass up, you look like a police officer

Jack: Its like I have full immunity to everything, just like a real police badge!

——

Trey, walking into a classroom:

Ruggie, pulling tissues out of a box:

Them, making eye contact as Ruggie rapidly removes tissues:

Trey: …im not gonna question

Ruggie: good. [RUNS AWAY]

——

Riddle: are you really over there insulting a bug?

Deuce: ITS BEING A DUMBASS

——

Ruggie: Good job escaping Colonel Sanders “The Riddler”

——

Ace: I couldn’t decide if I was gonna say “crunky” or “cookie” so I said “kroonky”

——

Jack: I will protect you from glowsticks and danny devito

Yuu: thank you

——

Floyd, throwing a stuffed shrimp around then biting it:

Yuu: What are you DOING to that poor thing

Floyd: showing it love and affection

Yuu: …PLEASE don’t fall in love with me

——

Deuce: I thought this was a movie about skiing. Lord help us all.

——

Ace: mariah carey’s spirit has possessed me starting today

Deuce: I’m calling an exorcist.

——

Lilia: ITS MY WAY OR THE HIGH WAY

[highway to hell starts playing]

——

Azul: That's why we don't enforce child labor--because they'd suck at it

——

Riddle: i think I know more about semi-colons than YOU DO

——

Floyd: fill your mind with shrek! be free!!

——

Ruggie: I, too, am tiny, and scared, and have no money

——

Idia: get in bitch we're going to eeby deeby where the souls are damned and the girls are pretty

——

Epel: y’all eat your eggs with or without the crust?

Jack: what a terrible day to have ears

——

Azul: maybe american flags are the new cryptocurrency

——

Idia: i do not care about freddy fabear's love life

——

Vil: Do not throw the ham across the library!

——

Jack: you look very intense

Leona: yea my face just does that

Jack: yea mine too

——

Azul: Mansplain, manipulate, malewife

Floyd, NOT PAYING ATTENTION: that's donkey from shrek

——

Deuce: It’s not even objectively true, it’s right!

——

The dark mirror: i sense no magiwal powew fwom dis one. cowowless, shapeless, vaycant

——

Kalim: The animals not gay enough for Jumanji get sent to jonga

Jamil: I just looked it up. Jonga is a vehicle. What the fuck?

——

Trey: nope, just sleeping

Ace: free trial of death?

Trey: no, just sleeping

Ace: free trial of death, with ads?

——

Jack: Explain to me, Ruggie, where are the vocal cords in the donut?

——

Floyd: i could randomly yell somethin- FUCK THERE WENT MY MEATSTICK

——

Deuce: YOU CANT DEATTACH YOUR BRAIN

Ace: SAYS WHO

Deuce: ME! I SAY SO!

——

Idia: the further down this mountain I go the more alliums I find

Cater: is it candy mountain

Idia: NO

——

My Yuu, Comet: Does this mean I get free tea and foot rubs when I get married? 🥺

Vil: Marry someone who will make you tea and give you foot rubs! If they can’t make you tea and give you foot rubs, that isn’t someone to marry!

Jade, threateningly: Establish it early.

——

Floyd, to Rook: Comment dit’on… ‘gET OFF MY ASS YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER’

(Comment dit’on is French for “how do you say”)

——

The sheer amount of quotes of Idia and Floyd being said by me is sending me

Anyway hope you enjoy. I still have many… MANY more.

[callmegkiddo]

DarkStache fluff

-@wilfywarfy

So I finally got to you, Old Man~

Kehehehe, I'm gonna looove writing this

I'll be using my versions of Uncle D and cotton candy Father-

Hope you don't mind-

Anyway, hope you like it dad <3

It was one of those days in the ego manor. Google shutting down because of his overheating from lack of maintenance. Bing needing a motherboard replacement because he got water spilled all over him. It was all too much for him, he needed a break. Dark may look like an entity that could take anything, but he's still fragile...

And a certain colorful goof, knew this, so he had a plan.

It was around 9 pm, those evening times when the rest of the ego's played board games to try and stay awake. Of course whoever ends up passing out gets to help anyone with the winner's chores.

In one of the more secluded places of the manor was Dark's office. Inside was Wilford, sitting on the monochrome couch, twirling his butterfly knife around. Dark kept on with his work, ignoring his partner and continuing on with the mountains of papers.

Wilford whistled a tune, one familiar and sweat that Dark knew all too well. The entity tensed up, his shoulders squaring up, brows furrowing more than they already were. Sighing, he reaches his hand up to pinch at the bridge of his nose.

"Wilford, I advise you to stop that" requested Dark, massaging his forehead from the headache forming from his lack of rest.

Wilford behind his pink mustache, pocketing his knife, skipping over to Dark. "Alright, alright. I'll stop" the madman says, pausing as he leans down to look Dark in the eye, his auburn eyes gleaming with mischief. "Buuut, if you come to bed with me"

Dark scowls at that, his eyes narrowing with annoyance. Wilford knew that Dark didn't need sleep, but that didn't mean he didn't need energy.

He sighs, putting down his pen and closing the folder on his desk. He has had enough of shenanigans from everyone. If Wilford will keep to his word, then so be it.

Pushing his chair back, he stands up, fixing his tie in the process. "Fine, but only this once," Dark says gruffly. Wilford beamed, rushing over to drag Dark out of the office and down the hall toward where everyone's rooms are.

Dark grunted, displeased by the sudden rush, but thought nothing much of it as he was able to keep up with his lover.

Reaching Wilford's room, he opens the door and ushers Dark in. Closing the door, he rushes in to fix up and fluff up pillows on the bed (probably adding more). Dark stands by, sweatdropping with confusion.

Wilford goes to unbutton his vest and put it away. "You should get comfortable too, blue" Wilford calls out over his shoulder, loosening his bow tie and pulling it off.

Dark sighs again, taking off his dress coat and putting it on the chair, pulling his tie off and unbuttoning one or two buttons on his dress shirt.

Wilford had also taken off his pants, throwing it onto a chair and clearing his throat. "I think those pants of yours are a biit too... Scruffy for sleepy time" Wilford warned, adding another pillow to the pile on the bed.

Dark, despite how he sorta was, he cracked a ghost of a smile. Chuckling lowly, he pulls off his belt and hesitantly shimmies off his pants. Making sure to take off his shoes, but keeping on his socks, he looks up to see Wilford rushing over to hug him tightly.

The cotton candy mustache man took his cold hand, leading him to the bed. They both crawled in, sadly not all the pillows stayed on and fell, but that was fine to him, both of them.

Wilford scootched closer, wrapping his arms around Dark's waist. Burying his face into Dark's chest, he sighs. "I missed this... I missed you" Wil mumbles, his eyes gleaming with love as he looks up at Dark.

Dark hums, reaching up to take Wilford's chin and tilting it further up, ghosting his lips over the other. "I know..." he hesitates, but Wilford didn't really feel patient. Pushing forward and capturing Dark's lips.

They both melted into each other, their lips clashing with arm and cold. They pulled away, Wil smiling and Dark's lips twitching upwards juuust slightly.

Getting comfortable, they snuggled up together. Even if Dark's aura was deafening, the ringing had softened, becoming comforting. And the colorless objects near Dark? Ignored, as Wilford's only worry was his lover.

The silence took over their thoughts, that is till Dark whispered lowly, as if shy and scared to even say it. "I love you... William" and that was all Wilford needed to hear as they both drifted off.

(Jesus I think Dark is a lot more OOC than he should be-)

[arithecreatorsstuff]

Mondays Suck

Triggers: office drudgery, bored Rabbit, surly anomalies, Clef being... Clef, teasing the boss for a change.

After a blissful two days off under the Plague Doctor's expert care, I'm back at my desk, facing a mountain of paperwork. Ugh. We're allowed computers and cell phones, yet O5 insist on causing the death of entire forests in the name of record keeping. There's no way we need all this crap. But... a surprisingly squishy orange blob of mercy is squelching his way toward me, carrying a cup of tea... and a small flower arrangement. Judging by the single red rose surrounded by lavender, my dear Doctor was thinking of me.

"Aw, thanks Little Dude. You didn't need to do this, but I appreciate it." I take the gifts, and hug the little gleeful glob. Maybe today is gonna be okay. "Hey, would you tell 049 thank you as well?" A quick squeeze and a nod. I look around... and slip my buddy one of my secret stash of peanut butter cups. Happy gurgles, then everyone's favorite pal heads off. I tackle my reports, tea in hand.

Iris comes in after a while, looking less than happy. Apparently Big Brother is being... his normal self. Which means, picking fights with his guards, despite me trying to explain that this is a bad idea. Yeah... I need to talk to him. Preferably before anyone dies.

"Hey, I just saw 999. He might be helpful. He's still nearby, grab him and meet me at his quarters. If anyone needs a good tickle fight, it's Abel."

"Don't tell me, Abel's misbehaving again?" Clef pops his head in. "Better stock up on candy if you're bringing 999, Abel scares him."

"Dr. Clef. We're Abel's sisters. And Abel in full rampage scares US. Believe us, we know how he is." Iris chimes, annoyed. I grab extra sweets, and we get ready to deal with Abel. Dr. Clef grabs a shotgun and follows. But... no Tickle Monster. Grr. Fine. Time for plan "B" for "Bad Ideas in Site (REDACTED) History".

I'm the first in, and seeing my big brother is just about to do something we'll all regret, I throw a discarded ammo clip at the back of his head. It hits him dead on, but he ignores it.

"Oi! Knock it off, Abel. We know you want to kill something. I get it. But... poor Bob here has a wife and three daughters. He, I imagine, would like to go home to them. Why not let him?"

He's still got Bob by his collar, ready to strike. But he hesitates. He looks Bob in the eye.

"You should be grateful my sisters are here to talk me out of killing you. They are right, you do not deserve death by my hands. Get out of my sight." Abel releases Bob, who does the sensible thing and legs it. Abel then turns to us, still ready to kill.

Okay, Plan "D" for "Dumbass" it is. I open my mouth, and order Clef to get everyone else out. I draw my shock baton, and wait.

"He's gonna kill you, Rabbit."

"Yeah? I'm expendable. Get out, Clef. Take everyone with you. Big Brother and I need to have a chat." Clef nods, then sets his shotgun by my feet. And I'm alone with Abel. He's still got murder in his eyes. More importantly he's still holding a sword. He charges at me, and I dodge. A few more attempts, and then he's really angry. Angry enough to be stupid. He forgot about the shotty. I grab the gun, swing, and knock him across his enclosure. I then fire at his chest, both barrels. This staggers him, little more. But, he stops.

"You... shot... me." He drops to one knee. No normal man would even still be conscious, let alone speaking. Not with two huge holes in his chest.

"You tried to kill everybody. Again. We talked about this."

"Can't... can't.... help..." He starts coughing, blood flying out of his mouth. "I'm... sorry." I toss the empty shotgun to one side, and hold my brother as the life fades from his eyes. "Proud... of... you.., Little Sister."

"Knock it off, we both know you'll be back in 6 months."

"Still... had to... to... say it." He reaches up and musses my hair. A gesture of brotherly affection. Then... he's gone. The MTFs, Clef and Iris come back as I'm crying over his rapidly decaying body. Iris hugs me.

"Rabbit, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Iris. We know how Big Brother is."

"Young lady... you're under orders to take the afternoon off. Mondays suck in general, but this is a bit extreme. Iris, go take Rabbit, and do something, anything not related to the Foundation for a while. Hell, give her a full makeover or whatever you need to, she's done enough today."

"Dr. Clef, you're babying me. This is pretty par for Abel, as far as records go. Just give me an hour or so and I'm good. I do not qualify for special treatment just because the big meathead adopted me. Did Strelnikof get time off for shooting Abel? Did Fitzsimmons? No? I shouldn't either. I'm even willing to stay after hours, I just want to forget it happened. C'mon, Sis... I need a shower, then we're gonna go bake cookies or some crap. Although... it's kinda tempting to give YOU a makeover, Doc. You think he'd look good in dark eyeliner, maybe hot pink nail polish, Iris? Oh, and I just got this stunning green velvet dress, might fit Cleffy better though."

"Blue would bring out his eyes more. All three of them."

"I'm trying to be a compassionate boss here, and you're mocking me."

"Sorry, Doctor Clef. Trauma response is strong in this one. We're going. So... Iris, the eternal debate... chocolate chip or double chocolate chunk?"

"Double chocolate chunk. Easy."

"And that is why you're my favorite sister. You are a young woman of culture as well. We should, however, set some aside for Doctor Clef, as he's been very helpful. You think two dozen is enough?"

[elsartzz]

I really love your art! your style is so pretty, it's like eye candy fr. you're such a skilled artist! also, I wanted to mention that I saw a couple of your thoughts posts and I wanted to suggest possibly investing into a journal to write them down into instead—I've found it helps to get the negative thoughts out, and then you're not broadcasting them to random strangers on the internet. not trying to throw shade, just genuinely concerned for your mental health. I really do enjoy your mha and genshin art, and it makes me happy when you post it! I love how you added both kaeya and klee in your recent contribution to the barbie meme lol. I hope you're having a good day, and if not, I hope things start looking up real soon! stay safe, and don't be too hard on yourself, alright? you're an awesome person 🩷 this is your sign to keep going

Hello!! Thank you so much for the kind words, I’m happy you like my art :))

Regarding the comment abt my thoughts posts – aw thanks for your concern! But first off, it’s actually been a while since I posted those (I checked and I think it was more than a year back? same w my mha art tbh– either you’ve been following for a while or you must’ve scrolled a lot LOL either way I’m impressed.) and I did delete a bunch of older emo posts and shifted some stuff to a more private blog, cos I realised it wasn’t too healthy to post everything online.

And I do have a journal!! It helps me a lot to get my thoughts out of my head and reason through emotional issues. I highly recommend keeping a journal too (even though I haven’t updated mine in a few days lol).

As for why I have the tendency to post more personal thoughts online… sometimes I want to share about smth ppl might find relevant, and sometimes I simply want the space to quickly vent about things that I can’t share with people in real life (for whatever reason). And I only do it cos I know I’m a small account (half my followers are bots) and it doesn’t really “endanger” my reputation and all that.

It’s a bit like shouting off a mountain or into a void, except sometimes the void speaks back and is kinda somewhat decent to you.

And occasionally people have replied!! (not on Tumblr tho lol) to share help/advice/support, which has been really nice.

But yes, I’m aware venting on the internet is probably not the healthiest and can be potentially dangerous as well. Also maybe it’s a bit of a turnoff if an artist you like keeps complaining about how miserable they are lol.

Don’t worry I’ll be sure to keep to myself more since my account is growing a bit, and draw a line between how much and what I share on the internet. I’m aware of Internet safety!!

…but just wanna say I’m probably not gonna stop random posting about unimportant things in life like how horrible my sweaty palms are lol they’re the literal worst FRRRR 😭😭

[twiixr4kidz]

random romantic headcannons of your favorite total drama character/s go !!

– bat anon 🦇 >:]]

oh hell yeah!! >:)) here's a couple of my favs <3

tdi dating hcs for my fav characters!!

cody (literally my all time favorite i love him):

he's kinda a dumbass

but a lovable one

he panics at any advances you make

he tries to act suave and totally fails

HE DOES THAT THING WHERE HE COMES UP TO YOU AND TRIES TO LEAN ON THE NEAREST OBJECT WHILE MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH YOU AND THEN HE FALLS AND YOU HAVE TO RUSH HIM TO THE ER CUZ HE JUST SHATTERED LIKE 7 BONES AND STARTED SPEAKING IN TONGUES

his love languages are physical touch and acts of service

aka he's super clingy and he does literally everything for you even though you don't need his help

he's a sweetheart :(( i love him

he is the type of mf to not make you a playlist, BUT BURN SONGS ONTO A CD FOR YOU AND USE SHARPIES TO DOODLE ON IT

he loves making little artsy things for you

izzy:

this bitch is batshit crazy and that's why i love her

imagine a calm, quiet life inside a cabin in the woods

okay, now throw that entire dream away

because izzy is so far from calm and quiet

this girl is an OUTLAW

she's always on the run and going on these bizarre adventures (LOL), and she's going to drag her wonderful partner with her

skydiving, jetskiing, face-planting off of a 70 foot tall mountain into a giant pool of cotton candy

you name it, she's going to do it with you

she's also very clingy; even when you're warm, she's going to be hanging off of you like a baby koala

she's bad at expressing her love for you but she makes you feel it through the things she does

she gives you like, awful nicknames

like they're just TERRIBLE but she thinks they're funny and likes the way you cringe when she calls you them

you have gotten called a "pookie wookie boo bear" in front of your entire close family and you still aren't sure if they realized she was being ironic

bridgette:

she's one of the most nonchalant partners you could ever ask for

she's so sweet? literal queenshit

she's a naturally pretty sporty person and she loves to share her passions with people she cares about, so you're going to play sports with her regardless

even if you totally suck, she's going to help you do your best

a sucker for having her hair played with

it literally puts her to sleep

run your fingers through her hair, brush it, style it, whatever

totally hogs the sheets though

loves doing skin care with you

the two of you are going to be sitting on her floor with face masks on while she paints your nails, and there's probably gonna be some shitty reality tv program blaring from a laptop and that's okay

duncan:

he's a risk-taker and a half

he loops you into all kinds of trouble, but intentionally and unintentionally and as duncan's partner, it's something you've gotten used to

he gets you lots of stuff

sometimes he pays for it, other times he doesn't, but that doesn't matter (or so he says)

"babe, are you sure this is safe?" "not at all, would holding my hand help?" "WHAT"

he's bad at words and awkward when it comes to physical affection but he does try

he loves spending time with you, whether it's late-night drives with the music blaring or WALKING through a mcdonald's drive-through

everything is better with you there

and even though he sucks at communicating it, he tries to show you how much he loves you all the time

even if it's not obvious

dj:

so vocal abt how much he loves you

words of affirmation are indeed his shit

he makes you feel so loved and appreciated; you're literally the person EVER in his eyes

and he's going to make you feel like the only person in the world

LOVES paying for like, super fancy outings for the two of you

he can and will find a reason to celebrate every saturday just so you two can go to a fancy upscale restaurant that you really like

he also adores spending time with you outside

just laying on a grassy, flower-covered hill in the sunlight, pointing out the shapes of clouds, or sitting on the porch before dinner as it pours

OH SPEAKING OF FLOWERS??

this man is like, a bouquet connoisseur

shows up to your house on random occasions and gives you flowers

why?

because he can <3

gwen:

WOAH

pretty goth girl <3

homegirl gives you so many snacks? you go over to her house once and you're completely loaded

like she's got a minifridge and everything

she can and will do your makeup too, if you want her to ofc

draws all sorts of pictures for you

she'll give you pages out of her sketchbook, little doodles on your arm, full-blown painted portraits of you, the whole thing

she also writes a lot so you can bet she's written at least 5 poems about you

she's like lowkey clingy? so she definitely texts you A LOT

BUT NOT IN A SCARY "TEXTING YOU 500 TIMES EVERY 10 MINUTES" KINDA WAY

she steals your clothes all the time

and if you're the same size in clothes? you guys are gonna be trading clothes all the time

she just loves dressing you up and buying you stuff she's so cool

owen:

LITERAL SUCKER FOR GIVING YOU THINGS

you're like, the only person he'll willingly share his food with

he also loves making food for you? and he's a really good cook

he's perfectly fine with having nights in the house; just chilling on the couch and watching movies and stuff like that

but he also loves leaving the house

he's a really chill person, and he's super fun to be around too? so while your relationship is pretty lax, it's also super hyper

just literal chaos

his love language is words of affirmations

homeboy talks you up and down about how attractive you are, how great you are to be around, how he wouldn't be complete without you

it's sickeningly sweet and you couldn't ask for anything else

HE PROBABLY TEASES YOU A LOT TOO??

HE'S SUPER TALL SO EVEN IF YOU'RE LIKE, AN INCH SHORTER THAN HIM, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE BUTT OF "LOL SHORT" JOKES FOR THE ENTIRETY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND ONWARD

harold:

he is such a nerd.

IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE

super awkward but a sucker for intimacy

he does. the same thing as cody where he tries to act suave and then fucks it up

except he doesn't fall over his feet and trip, he falls over his words and then gets embarrassed that he forgot how to talk

so easily flustered

he teases you relentless too, so just look at him in a certain way or something like that and he's gonna be like "oh fuck oh fuck ohfuckohfuckohfuck"

asks to play video games with you, and then kicks your ass

loves loves LOVES listening to you talk about your interests; he's super attentive and the sound of your voice is super comforting to him

he absolutely asks you questions about it too

[dollwritesarchive]

Hi angel! How do you think sugar daddy Andy would respond to the reader acting out and being a brat even after he’s wined, dined, and 69ed her?

daddy’s remedy ;

you had thoroughly worn him out today.

the day had been all about you and he let it be known, but you hadn’t made it easy for him. you wouldn’t be satisfied unless he pampered you beyond any other night; you wanted his wallet empty. you wanted to be wearing his hard earned cash in the form of pretty diamonds around your neck, you were gifted them in the afternoon. you wanted to eat his money, be stuffed full of five-star filet mignon and you wanted to be shown off as his arm candy, traipse through a restaurant that was impossible to get a reservation in a skimpy, little dress like you owned the place. Andy made it happen. finally, you wanted to be fucked. not once or twice like any given night, not finished off with his hand or his mouth. you wanted his cock, and you wanted it until he had no strength left in his body to serve it to you. you wanted to ruin your brand new manicure as your nails bite at the skin of his back to relieve the pressure he put on you. you wanted the two of you to be drenched in sweat and utterly spent. Andy delivered.

and yet?

yet, you still weren’t satisfied.

clad in nothing but the diamond necklace and afterglow, you knock the sides of your fists against his chest as if he were a set of drums. “Wake up.” you demand, brows knit together. “You’re not seriously going to sleep yet, are you? I want to play again.”

but Andy lounged on his back, muscled arms crossed, and somewhat propped against a mountain of pillows on the headboard. “Mm, no more tonight, bunny. Daddy’s got work in the morning.” he mumbles around a yawn.

blinking incredulously, you stare at him in disbelief. “But,” you whine, nudging him none too gently as you throw yourself against his strong body, “I want more!”

“You always do,” Andy replies. his eyes are closed, but you could sense that he was rolling them in spirit. “But daddy said no.” there’s a warning in his voice this time— an authoritative grunt to punctuate, confirming that his word was law around here.

however, that just wouldn’t work for you. with an indignant pout upon your couplet, both hands slip beneath the silk sheets to grasp his manhood. it is flaccid at first, but after just a moment of your tender caressing, he hardens in your palms. grinning victoriously, you thought you’d won this time. he was moaning under his breath, hips rocking forward to meet your massaging, and you were certain that he couldn’t say no to one more round. “I can feel how much you want to fuck me again, daddy,” you purr in a sultry tone; contrary to the vulgar nature of the words, your voice coated them like warm honey, “come on, you’re thinking about it, aren’t you? The way my hungry, little pussy grips you just right, makes it impossible for you to pull out until I’ve milked you completely?” you moan, yourself, from the prospect of feeling him inside of you again. “You can’t say no to my pussy, daddy.” he never has.

you can watch Andy’s face contort in pleasure and wanton need as he listens, brows furrowing and jaw clenching, but one hand shoots out and tangles in your tresses, making a tight and strong fist at your roots that has you whimpering and bending to his will. “You greedy, little bitch.” he grunts with a tense smirk as he drags you closer to his face. “Daddy’s been so good to you today, gave you all sorts of pretty gifts, good food, and plenty of dick, but you’re just never satisfied, are you? You want more of daddy’s cock, huh? You want it bad?” wide eyed, excited, you nod. “Tell me. Use your words.”

“I want daddy’s cock so bad,” you mewl, running the silken pads of your fingertips along the length of his shaft.

he tightens his grip on your hair and you bite down on your lip to ease the discomfort, body hunching up to try and bring yourself closer so he wouldn’t have to pull so hard. “And you’re gonna do whatever it takes to get it, won’t you? Because you’re daddy’s spoiled, little bitch.”

another nod, but this time you don’t wait to be reprimanded. “I’ll do whatever it takes because I’m daddy’s spoiled, little bitch.” you repeat, shameless and anticipating that at any moment he’ll flip you on to your stomach and take you from behind so hard and fast it would make your head spin. it wouldn’t be the first time.

however, he doesn’t. one hand jerks the sheet away from his manhood, throbbing and firm as it stands at attention for you and you alone. the other, the one that has your hair like reins, guides your head down towards it. you’re quick to open your mouth, and with one, strong push, Andy has forced you to take the majority of it inside. “Then you can suck daddy’s hard dick until you decide to act right.” leaning the weight of his forearm and elbow on the back of your head, he combats your skillful bobbing and demands a more sordid approach— slurping and gagging, whilst his free hand runs over the expanse of your soft ass cheek before cupping your damp sex. “Maybe with that dirty mouth of yours plugged up with dick, I can finally get some fucking sleep.” he grumbles, but the yip you elicit when he gives your cunt a few, cruel slaps has him hardening even still in your mouth.

no, neither of you would be sleeping for a very, long while, that much was obvious. you attempt a smile, but your lips are stretched too painfully tight around Andy’s girth and you wiggle your hips to coax another spanking out of him. you absolutely love getting what you want.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Alright, Disney, I'm gonna level with you here. In the last ninety-six years you've been around, you have approved:

Ursula getting harpooned by a ship in The Little Mermaid

Clayton getting hanged in Tarzan

Dumbo being an underage drinker

Pinocchio being forced to watch the horrific display of one his friends being turned into a donkey. Followed up with a scene of the rest of his donkey friends being sold into slavery.

A scene in Gravity Falls where a kid gets eaten by a monster made of black licorice and candy corn while the same kid said he was traumatized at the end of the episode.

Mr. Incredible finding out that all his closest friends had died horrifically to the clutches of a mad man.

Mufasa getting thrown off a cliff by his brother, trampled to death by wildebeests and having Mufasa's corpse poked and prodded by Simba.

A scene in the Star Vs. The Forces of Evil series finale, where a character blows up into purple confetti, while everyone around him SCREAMS IN HORROR! I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP!

A clone of Wendy from Gravity Falls being hit in the stomach with a fire ax.

Santa Claus getting tortured by Oogie Boogie in The Nightmare Before Christmas.

The Toys in Toy Story 3 holding hands and accepting their fate of being fed to an incinerator.

Imply that Eugene from Tangled is going get hanged as punishment for stealing a tiara. And after he escapes that, he gets shanked by a bitch and actually dies! (It for a minute and a half, sure, but still.)

Have Skinner take advantage of Linguini while he's drunk off of wine.

The Horned King from The Black Cauldron.

A scene in Gravity Falls where Mr. Northwest has the functions of every hole in his face get shuffled like a deck of cards.

Cassandra's arm getting dissolved in Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure.

The entirity of "Night on Bald Mountain."

The anglerfish from Finding Nemo

The frogs of Amphibia accepting the idea that they're going to die, and say potential goodbyes to each other.

A scene where Vasquez from Big City Greens says that he's going to go back to being in the secret service. Which is followed up with a fantasy sequence of him SNAPPING A GUYS NECK AND HIDING THE BODY IN THE BUSHES! AGAIN, NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP!

And the episode "Northwest Mansion Mystery" from Gravity Falls. Which has a scene where mounted animal heads are speaking a demonic language, while blood is dripping out of their eyes, mouths, and noses. And while that's going on, a flaming skeleton with an ax in his forehead is coming out of the fireplace as if he's crawling out of the pits of Hell itself. Once he's completely out, his body tissue reforms and he summons another ax, that is implied to be used on a twelve-year-old girl...A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD GIRL!

You approved of ALL OF THAT, and yet parents still haven't come down on you for bat-shit crazy y'all are. And if you can do that, then for once-just fricken' once-you can throw a certain group a bone and allow this:

Because if you don’t, I’m listing the racist stuff next.

[lou-struck]

Rigged

Kenma Kozume x Reader

~ Carnival games pull you in with big prizes without yielding many results. Kenma is aware of this but your optimism can get you in trouble.

This is yet another part of my 300 followers event which you could find HERE.

Your city's annual festival has come at last and you are more than excited to drag your boyfriend out of the house to be your date for all the festivities. Normally he would’ve objected to walking around in the hot sun surrounded by thousands of smelly people but the minute he saw the pleading look in your eyes you knew he wasn't able to reject your invitation. Especially after you promised to buy him an Apple Pie Funnel Cake at one of the booths.

So here you are walking around the fairgrounds eating your funnel cakes trying to decide what to do next. 

Suddenly you see something big and fluffy out of the corner of your eye. Turning your head to get a better look you see the biggest stuffed bear you have ever seen in your life. Its big eyes track you as you walk past, begging you to take him home with you,

“Ken ken,” you say tugging on his sleeve and stopping him in his tracks.

“What is it?”

“Look at that big boy,” you say pointing to the bear with literal hearts in your eyes. “We have to take him home with us.”

“Y/n,” he sighs looking at the adorable mountain of fur that has seduced you with its pretty red bow and stitched smile. “That won't fit in our car and those games are always rigged.” “I’ll make it fit, Ken Ken.” you plead, looking into his golden eyes ignoring his warning about the integrity of the carnival game in favor of the prize.

“Fine, but you'll have to carry it.” he relents pulling out his wallet and heading towards the booth. 

The bright colors of the balloon darts are a straight contrast to the operator. His dark smile and candy-striped waistcoat make you feel uneasy as you approach. 

“Well hello there little lady, want to try ur luck at the balloon darts?” he coos using his wooden cane to bat at the dangling prizes above his head. 

“Yeah, I think I wanna try it out.” you chirp as your boyfriend hands you some money for your first attempt at balloon darts. 

“Wonderful, well all ya have ta do is hit three of them little balloons with these darts to win a prize.”

“Even that one? you say pointing up at the bear that enticed you to the stand.

His gaze follows your finger over to the plushie “Oh you mean Honey Pot? Well, he and I have been together for a while. But if you can pop a balloon with each dart then he’s all yours.”

“ Really! Do you mean that?“ You say happily moving over to the starting platform where a plate of darts sits. All the while Kenma stands back and carefully analyzes the booth with a cat-like gaze that sends shivers down the vendor's spine.

“Whatta bout you, young man, ya gonna give it a shot?” the man says, can I respond with a nonchalant sugar his shoulders turning attention back to you.

You pick up the first dart feeling the cool metal between your fingertips as you throw it towards a balloon. Whether it be skill or luck, somehow you manage to strike a low-hanging blue one and a bit of glitter comes out and sprinkles down to the pavement as you smile to yourself.

“Good throw, just a few more, and Honey Pot up there is all yours” the man cheers.

 Feeling confident you throw another dart, It nails a smaller green balloon as glitter rains down again. “One more,” you murmur clenching your fist. 

Picking up the last dart you take a deep breath in, as you exhale and release the dart simultaneously. It seems to be traveling in slow motion heading towards a small pink balloon in the center of the board

The dart strikes the center of the balloon but bounces off. It falls to the ground clanging against the pavement.

“Oh you were so close too!” the man tsks jutting out his bottom lip

“I hit the balloon… but it didn't pop, you had to have seen it,” you say pointing at the dart.

“Sorry, you’ve gotta pop the balloons to win the prize, wanna go again? He smiles holding out his hand.

Just as you are about to fork over more money Kenma finally makes his presence known. He gently grabs hold of your wrist and looks at you.

“I'll go this turn, you'll get your bear,” he murmurs into your ear taking his money from your hand. “I’ll play this time,” he says giving the money to the man and stepping up to the booth.

He carefully picks up the replaced metal darts and examines it carefully. “I’m ready,” he says staring at the man with an unblinking gaze.

Without a word, he picks up the first dart and carelessly tosses it to the floor. You look on in shock as he does the same thing with the other two.

“Oops, would you look at that I guess I lost” 

“Ken, what was that for?” you ask gently reaching out to touch his shoulder. Your fingers grip his sleeve. Tugging him around you see a smirk has twisted over his features that has the booth operator shaking in his leather shoes. 

His features soften when his eyes meet your own “Could you go and get us some drinks?” Kenma says before stepping towards the man with the smirk fully returned to his face “I’ll just be a minute.”

With a nod, you awkwardly step away from the booth wondering what in the hell just happened. 

~

Kenma watches as you walk away. Once he is sure you are out of sight he turns his attention back to the con man in front of him.

“ you know just as well as I do that she would’ve won that prize.” 

Bees of sweat drip down the man’s forehead “I-I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do, well she may not call you out on it but I will. You dulled the darts and the balloons in the center are elastic not rubber. No matter how many darts hit them they will not pop.” Kenna’s calm intensity turns into something more predatory.

The man nervously looks around, “hey, shuttup. If people hear you they’ll shut me down.”

“Give me the bear and I will.” you boyfriend barters.

~

A few minutes pass as you head back to the booth drinks in hand seeing Kenma lean up against a wooden sign.

“Hey Ken ken, I got the drinks,” you say as he turns his head and greets you with that soft smile of his.

“And I got you this..” he says pushing aside the wooden sign to reveal the large stuffed bear you tried to get earlier.

Your eyes widen in shock“You won the game?” 

“Not exactly, I just had a nice talk with the man, after we were done,”

“I seriously doubt that.”

[uppermocns-moved]

if you’re taking requests maybe roadtrips with eren, jean, armin and connie?

road trips

oh my god this is the greatest idea i’ve ever heard. 

eren, jean, armin, connie + road trips

(going on a road trip with all four of them at the end)

cw: fairly gender-neutral, modernverse, weed references

𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗿

eren insists on driving the whole time, no matter how long the trip is.

his phone is plugged into the aux because “my car, my rules” but he doesn’t complain when you unlock his phone and start picking songs. 

forcing him to pull into a drive-through so he can eat real food, not just the 44 oz of mountain dew and monster energy he got from the gas station before you left.

hand-feeding him french fries.

playing i spy when it’s too dark to see anything, or on long highway stretches where the scenery doesn’t change. 

“i spy... something blue.” “is it the sky?” “you’re so good at this, babe.”

it’s very easy to talk him into impulsive detours, even if they’re in the opposite direction – he may be the one driving, but he’s relying solely on you for instructions. just tell him where you’re going and he’ll take you there.

“___ is only a two hour drive from here! we should go!” “yeah? okay.” 

driving with the windows down and enjoying the cool nighttime air.

car-camping in national parks – putting the seats down in the back and throwing together your bed for the night, sitting on the hood of his car to look at the stars with no light pollution, getting baked and watching a dumb show off his phone before going to sleep. 

at this point, eren realizes he forgot to pack his phone charger so you’ve gotta share.

getting breakfast together. eren’s not a morning person, but he can’t be grumpy when you’re looking so cute and sleepy in one of his hoodies. 

eren driving with one hand on the wheel and the other holding yours, occasionally lifting it up for a kiss as a silent thank you for being there with him. as if you’d dream of being anywhere else. 

𝗷𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗸𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗶𝗻

listening to the radio to keep things spontaneous, usually the classic rock stations. 

jean taking his hands off the wheel because he needs to air-bass along.

listening to true crime podcasts when the radio cuts out – it’s funny watching jean’s face twist up in disgust during crime scene details, and sometimes he yells in response as if the podcasters can hear him. you also play detective about who you think did it – loser buys food at the next stop. 

music keeps things energetic at the start, but podcasts keep his mind stimulated when he’s been driving for a while. 

the original plan is to split the driving, but you end up falling asleep with your face smushed against the window and jean doesn’t have the heart to wake you up. he doesn’t mind driving the rest of the way.

stopping for food every couple of hours to make sure you’re both eating properly, not just snacks. you do have plenty of snacks, though. 

jean going "uh – excuse me” whenever you open a bag of something and sticking his hand out. he’s like a dad, he always needs a handful of whatever you’re having. sharing is caring. 

jean always packs a lot of unnecessary things, and he will reserve the right to say i told you so when his double-hammock comes in handy.

limited stops along the way (minus food/gas/bathroom) – getting there relatively early means you can relax in the hotel room and maybe explore/go out for dinner later that night.  

when you take over driving, jean is a big window-watcher and takes a lot of pictures of the mountains/scenery. 

already making plans on cool things you can do on the way back, when you have no time restraints – day trips, scenic rest stops, hikes, etc. 

𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘁

stopping at a starbucks first-thing to get drinks for the road (he makes sure to get some food too so you’re not just running off a venti iced coffee)

splitting the driving – armin is the better (and calmer) navigator so you usually take the first and final shift. 

dozens of cute polaroids to put in your adventure scrapbook

researches fun (and romantic) things you can do when you get to your destination and reads them aloud to you. you come up with a plan together. that waterfall hike sounded really fun. 

armin takes lots of videos because he likes making little montages for his socials

you’re in control of the music. armin likes when you show him new artists – he’ll slowly nod his head along and inevitably add the songs to his spotify. he really likes snail mail. 

he takes over driving when you get tired – he likes holding your hand when he drives, or sometimes you’ll lean over and rest your hand on his thigh.

armin trying not to melt when you put on one of his hoodies for warmth – you have your own, but his are comfier and they smell like him. 

silly games to pass time like i spy or looking for different license plates. it’s fun until armin gets clever and spies things like the mile marker from 10 miles back. 

you insist you aren’t going to fall asleep because you wanna keep him company, but you end up curling into your pillow and dozing off mid-conversation. it’s adorable, and he doesn’t mind. he’ll usually turn on a podcast or an audiobook. 

armin stays awake the whole time but it catches up with him once you reach your destination – all he wants to do is cuddle and rest up

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿

leaving a day in advance or very early in the morning because you stop at every tourist attraction along the way.

scenic lookout? let’s go there. world’s biggest ball of yarn? fuck, count me in. meteor craters? already merging onto the exit. dinosaur bones? you read my mind. 

picking up cool souvenirs along the way like geodes and stickers to put on his water bottle. maybe a funky lil alien to hang from the rearview mirror, along with his 20 tree air fresheners. 

taking cute, cheesy pictures of and with each other – connie posing with his arms out like he’s holding the mountain, standing in front of national park signs, etc. 

you collaborated on a road-trip playlist in advance (it’s 12 hours long)

somehow you end up listening to veggie tales or absolutely losing it until the car starts rocking to britney spears

"i love this song” to every song, as if he didn’t put it on the playlist 

listening to connie sing along and butcher all the lyrics. impressive falsetto, though. 

arsenal of snacks – more than you realistically need

screaming every time you see a new “welcome to ___” sign

“WELCOME TO ___!” “WOOOOOO!”

connie rocking the socks with slides. it’s comfortable. 

pulling through drive throughs every once in a while for food, continuously forgetting to throw out the trash bag from your last stop. 

𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺

stopping at the gas station to fill up the gas tank and stock up on snacks for the road – almost everything from the candy aisle, giant bags of doritos, slushies, energy drinks. nobody really thinks to get actual food.

the driving is split between eren “i’m serious, pull the fucking car over or i’m gonna piss myself, jean” jaeger and jean “eren stop honking my fucking horn, traffic won’t go any faster” kirstein. armin is the navigator because they’ll both get everyone lost.

everyone has their turn with the aux cord – until connie cracks himself up playing the same song over and over, then you have to pry it from eren’s cold, dead hands.

so many pictures

impulsive stops at tourist attractions.

playing dumb games to pass the time (quickly turns into replacing one word on each sign with “poop” because they’re all a bunch of children).

finally stopping at a diner later that night for real food

making it to the campsite and setting up tents and hammocks

getting baked around the campfire and telling spooky stories

connie complaining and scaring himself while he wanders off into the dark forest to find a spot to piss

smores (ofc)

going on group hikes and jumping into lakes/down waterfalls together. video of jean belly-flopping.

[vannybarber]

The Prenup: Part Two

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part One

Walking down the isle, you grab everything that looks remotely pleasing in sight. After you left the house, you were just driving nowhere. Having to refill your tank because you wasted all the gas, the crackhead at the station kept singing Mambo Number 5 and it made you feel slightly better. Now you were in the convenience store spending your feelings away.

You get to the pain pills and grab some Aleve. Your head has been thumping for hours now. You see a pink box and knock a couple of those in the basket too just because they're pink. Whipping over to the candy isle, you grab multiple bags of Starburst jelly beans just to spite Chris because you know he loves them. Moments later, your basket it full and you head to the front.

Tipping the basket, you dump all the contents on the counter. The cashier gives you this look and you don't blame her. You had 3 bags of jellybeans, 5 random candy bars, 2 pink boxes you still can't read out, a blue Mountain Dew, a dog toy and some Doritos. Absolutely random. The cashier scans all the junk food, but when she gets to the pink boxes, she look up at you and at your left hand.

You're in a daze, so you don't see her looking at you. Your mind was all over the place and frankly, you didn't want to think about any of the latest events. Not the prenup. Not the engagement. Not Chris. Snapping into reality, you pay for your groceries and take all the bags and walk out the store.

On the drive to the hotel, you pass the park where you and Chris met. That didn't help with your predicament at all.

Dodger had gotten off his leash because he was so excited to finally have a home. You were with your niece. She is so obsessed with dogs and wanted to meet every one. Dodger spotted her and pounced on her, giving infinite kisses.

Chris was freaking out. His dog just pounced on a two year old child.

You, on the other hand, were laughing your ass off. Your niece wasn't complaining either because she kissed him back.

He apologized profusely and you guaranteed him it was okay. You guys hung out for the rest of the day and decided to go on another date, without the kids. One date lead to many others and soon enough you'd met his whole family, vice versa, and started living with him. It was unreal.

And here you are infront of a hotel, with no ring or engagement and your fianceé almost an hour away. Oh, how the tables have turned.

You get out and receive your room key. You head up to your room and set everything down. You were so tired and worn out. Getting comfortable in the bed, you knock out almost immediately.

Meanwhile, back at your house, it's pure chaos.

"Chris do you realize what the fuck you just did?"

Scott is practically screaming at his brother, pacing around the room.

"Scott can you fucking chill? You're not helping the situation" Chris snapped back at him. Scott stops and stares at him like he's an idiot.

"We wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for your stupid choices. Tell him Ma!" He looks at her to back him up. Lisa stands up from her seat and walks over to Chris.

"Now Scott, Chris is a grown man. He can handle this situation, right honey?" Her hands are on both his shoulders, looking for him to respond.

"There you go. You always do this! You always baby him up whenever he's in trouble." He rolls his eyes. Lisa draws back from Chris.

"No, I do not. I let all of you sort out your own issues, with my advice of course. Shanna, Carly, do I baby your brother?" Chris throws his head back in annoyance.

"Um, yeah kinda.."

"Sometimes...Ma, but not all the time of course"

They say at the same time. They hated to admit it but when it came to Chris, she mostly got him out his problems. He's not used to solving them on his own. Lisa utters incoherent words in disbelief.

"That's not important right now. My fianceé just called off our engagement and I don't know where she is!" Chris interrupts, getting everyone back into focus.

"Technically she's not your fianceé if she called the engagement off, but it's whatever..." Scott mumbles with his hands up. Chris shoots him a 'fuck off look'.

"Well have you tried calling her?" Carly asks him.

"Yes, but she's not picking up. She can hold quite the grudge when it comes to her feelings." And he was right. You were very protective of your feelings and anything to harm that will be shut down ASAP.

"Well we just have to hope that she is trusting her better judgment and will come back, unlike someone in the room" Scott says sarcastically turning and sitting on the couch. Chris smacks his lips.

"Scott that's enough!" Lisa snaps.

"Well he deserves everything he's getting! He put himself in this situation. Now he doesn't have a wife and he's miserable. Could never be me."

Chris had enough. He moved quickly put his chair and into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. He sat at the edge of the bed and cried.

You had finally woken up and check your phone.

26 missed calls | 63 messages.

You text Lisa and tell her you're fine. Closing the app, you look at your homescreen. It's a picture of Chris laying on your chest asleep. His lips are parted and you're grinning in the screen. He looks like an adorable puppy. You grab your charger out your bag and plug it up.

Remembering the stuff you bought, you grab the jellybeans and open them. Seeing the assortment of colors, you go straight for the red ones. Chris' favorite. You were gonna milk this to the bone. You reach in the bag and feel one of the pink boxes you bought. Still not knowing what it was, you pull it out and read it.

First Response Pregnancy

You bought a damn pregnancy test. 2 to be exact. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or to smack yourself for wasting your money. Many thoughts went through your mind. Should you take the tests? Should you throw it away? What if you were pregnant? That last thought gave you shivers. Pregnant at a time like this? Were you even ready?

Looking down at the test, you decide to take it. Just for the hell of it. You knew you weren't gonna be pregnant because you take birth control. Not to mention you and Chris use condoms for extra measure. Nothing wrong with being safe.

You get up, pad to the bathroom and get down to business. You do all the steps and clean up after yourself. Now you just had to wait.

You were nervous as hell. You don't know why though. There isn't a chance you could be pregnant because you didn't allow there be one. You have been beyond careful. There would be zero possibility. Or so you thought.

After what felt like 5 minutes, your shakey hand grab the test and flip it over.

| |

You freeze and your eyes dart to the information section.

Not Pregnant- |

Pregnant- | |

You look back at the results. There were two lines. Absentmindedly, you shake your head and back up until your back hits the wall. You can't be pregnant. There's literally no freaking way. It's got to be false.

You grab the other test and take it. After 5 more minutes, you check it and there's two lines also. Now you were freaking the fuck out. Both tests are positive. You rush back in the room and dig through the bag for the other box. You grab it and take both tests at the same time. Don't ask.

After another 5 minutes, you stare at the back of the two tests. Moment of truth. You flip both the tests at the same time.

| | on each test.

This is where you fall on the floor in shock and fear. You were pregnant. With Chris' child. And you guys just had a huge fall out and you're all alone. You're not ready for a kid. Especially not now.

You bury your head in your hands and let the tears fall. How in the hell were you gonna tell him?

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i hope this part kept you guys' intrest like the first part😭 i felt the pressure today lmao

if you're bolded, i couldn't tag you. i'll personally message you ❤ thank you guys for your support. it means so much to me 🤧