#got it like 50 times this past week from multiple people and im like

[avianii]

vaguely irritated every time I hear someone call my life depressing

[cocogukkie]

2020 in review: kdramas (the heart fluttering, the disappointing, the saviors of 2020)

it’s december 31st! the new year is quite literally upon us (some of y’all are already in 2021) and my procrastinating self has chosen to upload this today. i’ve always loved these rec lists and I wanted to do one for 2020! this year was a rollercoaster for kdramas with some excellent ones and some not so excellent ones. i watched all of these in 2020 but not all of them were released in 2020.

if you want to use my questions to make your own list please do!! or give your favs in the tags, i’d love to read them. (fair warning, some of these have multiple answers bc i just can’t choose one!!)

drama that made me laugh

When The Camellia Blooms (2019)

i finally got around to watching when the camellia blooms this year and it. was. so. funny. oh my goodness, the comedic timing in so many scenes was pure excellency and im kinda mad at myself that i didn’t watch this last year. this isn’t just a comedy for those who are interested, its a thriller/romance but its also so fucking funny. definitely watch this if you want to laugh (and be touched bc the emotional scenes in this one are beautiful)

drama that made me cry

Sweet Home (2020)

hahah….. um this one is gonna go to sweet home friends. i went into this one with zero expectations and the first couple episodes didn’t really wow me? but i kept watching and holy shit fam. this show really picks up story-wise around ep 4 and makes the viewer love a lot of these initially unlikable characters. all i can say is that the end was devastating for me and i cried quite a bit. (warning, there are a lot of mature themes in this one so make sure you look for trigger warnings or send me an ask and i’ll list them all out for you) 

best OST

Itaewon Class (2020) 

i loved the ost for itaewon class!! the music is just so inspirational and pump up music, its so good. my favorites are ‘you make me back’ by woosung and ‘start’ by gaho.

drama with chemistry royalty (aka the best couple) 

i have three for this one because i just cannot choose one. 

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

we recognize this one as one of the best things to come out of 2020. go moon young and moon kang tae have some of the best chemistry i have ever seen in a drama couple. i waited on the edge of my seat every single week for the next couple of episode just so i could fawn over these two. they work so well together, lift each other up, and so fucking funny together and support one another. while they’re not the chillest couple (lmao) they’re most certainly one with the most personality. they’re so cute and bicker and they just get each other. who could ask for more.

Flower of Evil (2020)

our badass mom and dad 😭😭. this was another peak drama that came out this year and our married partners-in-crime-but-not-really had amazing chemistry. baek hee sung and cha ji won were so cute as a married couple but they were even more precious later on in the drama after certain things unfolded (no spoilers). they both just get each other and protected one another as well as on the most precious kdrama children this year, their daughter eunha. they were so wholesome, flower of evil is so very worth a watch.

Into The Ring (2020)

this was one of the more underappreciated kdramas of the year but hoo buddy was the main couples chemistry top notch. they were so friggin cute and i just couldn’t. goo se ra is highkey one of the best female characters i’ve ever seen, she’s absolute chaos, lawful chaos, but chaos nonetheless. her other half, seo gong myung is opposite from her as lawful neutral. he’s just along for the ride that is se ra and loves her. they’re both so very fond and protective of each other and back each other up!! very very cute and you’ll definitely replay more than a couple of their scenes together.

most disappointing

Record of Youth (2020)

it’s sad but true… i went into this one with so much hope and excitement (i was riding off that ‘psycho but its okay’ high) and i was vastly disappointed. the plot mostly focused on the male lead, and there wasn’t much characterization for the female lead which i didn’t like. honestly, i only cared about maybe 3-4? characters in the whole drama. the rest were absolutely terrible or plain boring and i ended up skipping eps 14 and 15 and just watched the finale. i would not recommend tbh.

drama you can’t really get through

Crash Landing on You (2019)

this one is absolutely on me, i want so badly to love this one. but i just… can’t seem to get past ep 2? i’ve tried!! i swear, but i just cannot get through it. maybe in 2021, i can try again and i’ll enjoy it more.

drama everyone else liked but was meh

Kairos (2020)

i though kairos was a bit predictable tbh. i know those of us who did end up watching it really liked it but maybe its because i watch so many crime/mystery shows that this one didn’t really do it for me. the writing is quite solid and everything connects well, i would recommend that those who don’t really watch thrillers, to watch this one. (also the friendship between the female lead and her two friends is suuuper cute and worth it alone to watch kairos)

favorite romance

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

yeah… this one wins again lol. what can i say, i just loved it so much and the main theme of the show is romance (its also a comedy and a mental health/healing drama) all i can say is watch this if you haven’t yet, its definitely worth it!! 

favorite mystery

Memorist (2020)  & Watcher (2019)

i really enjoyed these two mystery dramas. both were super fun to watch and very kinda unique in their own ways. i liked memorist because it was lowkey funny and i liked the relationships between the characters, but most importantly i couldn’t guess the main antagonist by the end! i really thought i knew who it was and then i was completely wrong lmao. watcher was also very good, the main trio had really good chemistry and i really cared about all the characters. (also i’ll never say no to watching seo kang joon) plus the plot twists threw me a bit at the end which is always a feeling i welcome, i love being surprised and wrong (as long as it makes sense)

favorite slice of life

Hospital Playlist (2020)

oh my goodness, i was late to the hospital playlist party and i regret it because this show is so. so. good. its just a slice of life following 5 friends who are doctors and work at the same hospital together but its so much more than that. this is honestly one of the first shows i’ve seen that are optimistic? in the show, every time i thought a plot was going to play out a certain way (usually negatively, as tends to be life unfortunately) it surprised me by taking the more optimistic wholesome route. characters in subplots changed for the better, became more understanding, chose to do the right thing, etc. if you want a feel good drama where the main characters have wonderful platonic chemistry and just care about each other but is also super funny, watch hospital playlist!! (season 2 is coming out early 2021 and im so pumped)

favorite fantasy

The Untamed (2019)

this one is a cdrama but i watched it in 2020, mostly because of how many people on the internet were adamant that the rest of us watch this and ngl they were v right. the untamed was very very good and im really glad i gave it a chance and watched it, its also my first cdrama ever. the chemistry between the male leads is honestly what makes this show and its worth the 50? i think? episodes. to be completely honest the fanfiction for the show are peak and if you do watch this, go straight to ao3 and you will not be disappointed.

dramas that saved 2020

The Uncanny Counter (2020) & Run On (2020)

these two dramas are among those that started airing at the end of the year and will go into the beginning of 2021 and absolutely saved the end of 2020 for me. while neither of these are finished, both have been excellent so far and worth starting. uncanny counter has the best use of the found family trope i have ever seen. i fucking love the four counters and their relationship with each other, how protective they are of one another. they all have amazing chemistry and the actors have amazing chemistry in the making films.

run on has one of the cutest couples that will definitely make my best chemistry list for next year. i didn’t put them on this list bc they actually haven’t gotten together yet but once they do, they’re gonna be freaking adorable, i can already tell. there’s no specific grand events propelling the plot forward, but just following the lives of these unique, interesting and relatable people who have casual yet entertaining conversations with each other. the show is super soft and the main couple are so straightforward and honest (plus theres mutual pining!!)

best dramas of the year

here are my best dramas (and one movie) watched this year, no further explanation given lolol. just watch them and enjoy because these are fucking excellent in the feels department. trust me 💞

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

Flower of Evil (2020)

Itaewon Class (2020)

Hospital Playlist (2020)

One Spring Night (2019)

Midnight Runners (2017)

Hot Stove League (2019) 

I hope this gives you some fun stuff to watch!! or convince you to start that drama in your watchlists! 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[thisnerdsadventures]

being rejected is ok

it still sucks, and it still hurts though. it’s internship app szn so its rough on many counts im guessing. i remember someone of the most painful rejections from jobs or clubs and wow did i cry. but i’ve seen some of these online and i think its a good testament to how you can get rejected like 50 times but its ok bc it just takes one yes to change your life. also bc it shows that things do and will get better if you keep grinding

we’ll divide this into several sections, because i get rejected on all counts, not just one :)

__________________________________________________

clubs/ECs:

got rejected from DT my freshman year. also was convinced i needed a #tech-y club my sophomore year, but woohoo got rejected from those too. This gave me a boatload of imposter syndrome

Lifelong dream was to become a blogger, i even applied twice... and got rejected twice.

Hell, I even got rejected from HACKATHONS. HACKATHONS!!!!

__________________________________________________

OPPORTUNITIES

I didn’t even know GTL or externships were a thing my freshman year, so when the time came in sophomore year, ooo i was ON IT.

Surprise got rejected again.

I had these really cute dreams of a lit IAP where I’d travel to New York for this jane street program and then travel to SF for an externship or something, but lmao none of that happened and i was stuck on campus

Sophomore year was rough tbh all around. I even got rejected on a UROP and ghosted for another two. Searching for one is also hard, I still got rejected my junior year again when looking for a new one.

i also wanted to go to GHC and I probably should’ve put in more effort into applying to more scholarships but ohohoho, your girl got rejected twice in two years and i am looking forward to getting rejected for a third time (though i’m p sure GHC is gonna be virtual this year, so i have no idea why they would still even cap registrants)

__________________________________________________

JOBS

oh where do i begin. my freshman year i applied to maybe a few companies thinking I’d get one. I really underestimated how difficult it would be.

when I became a sophomore and started more seriously applying to companies, it was still Bad

wow this is so brutal actually LOL this isnt even counting the at least fifty places that just never bothered to send a rejection letter. Also not counting that one company that brutally rejected me over the phone like 3 times in 2 years after multiple rounds of interviews.

__________________________________________________

Trying to do literally ANYTHING

Trying to do anything is just so difficult. I tried to set up a Model UN high school outreach program and it failed miserably

This was one of the things that stung the most, was trying so hard to do some good and give back, and failing like this.

__________________________________________________

the tldr

So obviously this was highkey depressing lol and was a lot of Sad for one post, but the point of this post was to say that rejection + failure is normal and it is just a byproduct of putting yourself out there and taking risks! For me at least, behind every acceptance/success was a few rejections/failures that I had to climb back up from, so although people often only talk about their successes online (on Linkedin, or Facebook, or whatever), it’s important to remember that there were probably quite a few struggles behind it and the road to success is hardly ever perfect. Second slightly depressing note is that you probably won’t reach a point where you just stop failing/tripping up (I got rejected from a job just this past week lol), but you’ll get a few W’s along the way, and that’s enough to keep you believing that there are more W’s to come.

[clownistyping]

Heyo! I was hoping to request a part 2 to your last fic where reader is a civilian? Maybe the meet again and there some feels or maybe ~feels~.. You're writing makes this whole covid stuff less terrible. Always excited to see you on my dash! Much love, thanks!!

I made this. Very bery subtle feelings. Subtly bby.

I need to find more HB gifs, I keep seeing lil peep gifs instead ahhh

You were never into conspiracy theories, always too busy to really dive into them. That is, until you met the red man who saved you from a two faced giant worm a month ago. 

He left you alone on the roof, you were just. In pure shock. You've heard of the red demon that hops roof tops and fights supernatural beings from crazed homeless people. 

Now you started to see them in a different light. 

That week you wasted all your quarters to print multiple blurred photos of said man at the library. You felt blessed that your roommate was visiting her family in Cuba for a month because you used the living room to hold your theories. Red yarn connecting across the room, with photos of a man jumping from roof to roof. Along with other strange creatures that were found by innocent citizens. 

During work your mind is just running in circles, telling you to find that man again. Talk to him. Do something dammit. But you just continue to serve pastries and coffees to tired college students. 

As you were wiping the counters down, you heard the doors bell jingle and you spoke, not looking up. 

"I'm sorry but we're closed for the night." You heard footsteps approach you and you looked up. Raising a brow in confusion at the sight of an old man. 

"Hello, there-" the man adjusted his glasses as he read your name tag. 

"(Y/N)." 

You didn't say anything as you placed the rag in the sink, 

"Im sorry sir, but we-" 

"I know," he smiled and you started to feel a bit unnerved. 

"I am not here for any treats or tea. I am to speak with you." Your body went stiff, 

"My agents have been keeping track of you, mainly your little project in your apartment and I have to say I'm quite amazed by it. Haven't seen a dedicated theorist in quite some time." The man laughed and you stepped back, 

"How do you know that?" 

"Oh please don't be afraid, I just want to give you this." The man reached inside of his coat, pulling out a small business card he slid it on the counter. 

"Please do give us a call, we would love to have you on the research team." The man smiled and as you looked down at the card you noticed the fist symbol holding a weapon of some sort. 

'B.P.R.D. Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense.' The location and phone number was listed under the title. 

Looking up, your eyes widened and the man was gone. 

You slipped the card in your back pocket and left the cafe in a hurry, leaving the counters half clean. 

The business card was starting to collect dust on your dresser. 

You got more locks for your door and windows and took more time off work. 

You only stared at the theories that draped from your wall to the ceiling as you ate your chicken salad. 

"What am I doing?" You questioned yourself outloud and placed the bowl on your table. Holding your face you sighed. 

"Looks to me like you're having a midlife crisis."

Your body went stiff and you didn't even have to look up to know that it was the red stranger in your home. 

"Don't worry tho, I like it. Nice to know I have fans." The man chuckled, your mind was fuzzy as you tried to remember his name. Heelboy? Hillman? Red dude? Fuck you don't know. 

The couch dipped next to you and you heard your salad bowl move and then munching. 

"Too much dressing." The man mumbling with a full mouth as he ate your food. You slowly looked up at him, and then felt a small breeze pass you by. 

Looking over you saw your window wide open, 

"It's still good though." The man smiled and placed the now empty bowl back on the table, you looked the man over. Noticing on his coat was the same symbol from the business card. 

You stood up quickly and rushed inside of your bedroom. Snatching the card you rushed back to the man and practically threw it in his face. 

"Do you work for them?" 

The man chuckled and took the card, 

"I practically made them." He smiled and you sat next to him, 

"What?" 

"I was there when the organization started, back in the 40s or 50s. I can't quite remember." He rubbed his chin with his large fist, and your eyes widened. He noticed your stare,

"Sorry bout that." He pulled his sleeve over the rock forearm and you quickly started up, 

"No no, it's fine! I'm sorry for staring. Um..it's really cool looking anyways." You sat up straight, he handed you the card back. 

"Anyways. I uh, I told dad about you-" he started to speak but you were too distracted by looking him over. You know it's not nice to stare but for the past month you've only seen blurred photos of him. As the first meeting memory was starting to fade away with time.  

The rock fist was amazing to see, along with his tail and shaven horns. Really, everything about him was amazing to see. 

"I'd really like ya ta join it. It's a pretty um..cool job." 

You blinked back into reality. 

"What is?" You asked and the man chuckled, 

"The organization." 

"Oh right, right." You held the card in your hand. 

"I've been thinking about it," you confessed, 

"Just, when your dad was it?" Hellboy nodded 

"When he told me that he saw this," you directed to the red yarn, "I was a little scared." 

"Ya sorry about that, sometimes dad doesn't really care about personal property. But he meant no harm really." You smiled with a nod, 

"I'll take note of that." Hellboy stood adjusting his heavy belt you stood up next, 

"Well, um..oh I don't think I ever got your name." 

"It’s (Y/N)." You said, putting your hand out, Hellboy hesitated but shook your hand with his flesh hand. Even if it was a weird angle. 

"Well (Y/N), it was an honor ta meet ya." He smiled and for some reason you felt your cheeks go hot. 

"Same here, Hellboy." Hellboy smiled and then he spoke. 

"Oh right, just for you." He took out a sharpie he just so happened to have in his multiple pockets. Grabbing one of the blurry photos he signed it. 

"For my biggest fan." You laughed in embarrassment as he handed you the photo and then hopped out the open window. 

[elsewhereuniversity]

Blood Iron

Running the numbers, if you used your own blood, you could have a simple ring made from your own blood’s iron in about three donations over the course of one semester. Sooner if you only use one pint’s worth and dilute it with other iron.

Iron is well known to protect on its own, but iron that once flowed through your veins?

That must be a powerful thing to carry with you.

It must be a powerful thing to give your friend. Your sibling. Your beloved.

Mustn’t it…?

It started simply enough. She was a chemist, and (to some extent) so was he. She had a thing for biology, he had more interest in metalworks.

(Don’t ask their names. They are safe from Elsewhere as it stands, but they will not tell you.)

A colleague ran the numbers one day out of boredom, for how much iron was in a pint of donated blood. She asked what you would even do with it, but a moment later, reconsidered.

A gift made from your own blood. Chemically speaking, how romantic!

That set off the question… could you actually do it?

That was when they made their first collaboration. They used blood samples that were no longer needed for study to refine the process, until they could recover 96% or more iron from any given sample. Far more then they anticipated.

The ring idea came from that colleague, who wanted a gift for his wife. They chose gemstones with his help, she took the blood and extracted the iron, and he forged them together.

The wife, apparently, loved it.

Word got around. Several teenagers dressed in dark colors came in, thinking it was sick or some other slang term to wear your own blood. A few romantics, as well. She had to put herself down for more time at the centrifuge, and he spent more time in the forge, but it wasn’t a problem. They didn’t just use blood iron, of course- that would require multiple pints’ worth. They diluted it, and told their clients as much. They were still happy with it.

For two years, they continued their normal jobs, with these intermittent blood iron requests.

But then… one of those darkly-dressed teenagers came back.

He was in college now, he told them. Someplace called Elsewhere.

(This was the first time they had heard that name. It would not be their last.)

The client didn’t talk details. She honestly wondered if the young man had been taking hallucinogens, the way he shuddered and dodged questions. But one thing, the client was very clear about:

That ring had saved his life. If he hadn’t had it, he would not be here.

He owed them his life for making it.

The client was still wearing it now. The plain metal band, cast over in silver, had been worn smooth by fingers that traced its path a thousand times. The craftsman was glad his handiwork still looked so good after two years, but the client refused to take it off when he asked to see it.

The ring had been priced at cost, plus 50%. He gave them another hundred dollars, something about leaving no debt unpaid. He told them he wouldn’t forget them and departed.

That was when the work began in earnest. It had been mid-December, the time when students come home for winter.

And when they and their families began asking for rings.

He didn’t understand it. Neither did she, but they both ended up taking two weeks off at work to deal with all the orders.

They were just blood iron rings. A novelty, not a matter of life and death. But these people- they came with their families, siblings, lovers. They traded rings with each other, wondering if this was better than wearing one’s own blood iron.

“Powerful” is how they described it. “It must be powerful.”

None of these people went by normal names. Owl. Cherish. Lipstick. Hog. Eleven-And-A-Tenth. Apparently, this was normal where they were from. They joined in for the fun of it when they saw these students flinch at the sound of real names.

She called herself Hemoglobin, the compound that held the precious iron. They called her Hemo.

He called himself Ferrous, a word that signals iron content in a chemical.

The students stopped flinching when they led with these names, and their clients learned to ask for them.

And they all spoke of Elsewhere- those who would speak at all.

Slowly, but surely, bits of information slipped past. Elsewhere was not a normal place. All the hints and whispers, the reasons given for their actions, it all pointed to something very wrong with this Elsewhere University.

Finally, a student asked when she came to pick up her ring (blood iron from herself and her sister, mixed together and studded with agates).

“Well, you know how it is at Elsewhere U. You two both made it, didn’t you?”

And Ferrous answered with the truth.

They’d never heard of it before the blood iron rings.

Her face had gone pale. “You… didn’t know?”

She had insisted on getting her ring before saying another word. Once it was firmly on her finger, she began to speak.

So this was what Elsewhere University was.

Inhuman teachers.

Disappearances.

A being who traded beads for teeth.

The crows.

Gifts of milk and bread.

Salt lines on the floor of the dorm.

The Forbidden Major.

The theater. Oh, the stories she had about the theater.

She asked Hemo to help her lift her shirt off her back. She showed them the ropelike scars there, from a close call with one of the gentry.

One of the Fae.

One of THEM.

She had misspoken and, fortunately, lived to regret it instead of dying. Or vanishing.

Or worse.

This really was a matter of life or death.

They had both needed time after that one. So this was why they were so desperate for blood iron.

Hemo and Ferrous agreed later that day: they were taking the rest of winter break to help protect these kids.

Hemo carefully drew out tales from Elsewhere as she drew blood- about iron and salt and their uses, and the risks posed by donating blood on campus. How far you had to go to be safe from it. How to tell when you weren’t.

Ferrous learned how to decorate the rings. What symbols to use and avoid. Which jewels would draw their eyes and which could turn them away. That coatings of another metal don’t affect potency.

Come January, they both returned to their former workplaces, and life went on as normal.

Orders trickled in slowly, perhaps a half-dozen in the long stretch until March. Most of these were novelty customers. No Elsewhere University, no life-and-death stakes, just cute little gestures and a fun little trend.

But they had heard too much to truly feel secure.

Hemo rerouted her path to work to cross the brook.

Ferrous watched the blackbirds at the park with suspicion.

Both laid salt at the door. Both used their nicknames with anyone seeking a ring.

In February, Ferrous asked Hemo to draw his own blood. There was someone he wanted to protect, he said, and he would be making a second donation as soon as medically advisable. More blood iron in the mix must yield a stronger ring, right?

She did it without asking questions. She had drawn her own a week before for the same reason.

The two pored over Ferrous’ sketches and sample work from the days before blood iron together, identifying the features each liked and disliked, what gems they would use in their perfect ring, what metals the ring would be coated in to avoid rust.

She marked the features he seemed to like as closely as he marked the ones she did.

They worked hard through that spring break, as busy as they’d been over the winter. Hemo nearly forgot their second rounds of donation, but waited until the week had passed to remind Ferrous. They had work to do, after all.

That April, Hemo presented Ferrous with 60 miligrams of his own blood iron, and the 60 she had drawn from herself. She told him they’d received a new order and listed the ring features she knew he favored as the requested design.

In a few day’s time, both rings were ready.

And of course, each gave the other a ring forged from their own blood.

After all, iron from the blood of a colleague and friend with whom you’ve actively defied a force you have never seen and cannot comprehend?

That must be a powerful thing.

(Or so they hope…)

  Based on https://elsewhereuniversity.tumblr.com/post/163841542201/sorry-if-this-is-a-weird-ask-but-im-a-little   and   https://elsewhereuniversity.tumblr.com/post/172050813485/given-the-natural-qualities-of-plain-iron

I know memories are supposed to fade for students who leave the campus for good, but as these two were never students and got told about it instead of experiencing it… Who knows? Or maybe reality is thinner where they live than they think…

-Nobody

[iiasha-archived]

genshin anon! finally lol. i keep meaning to respond - tab has been open with your last response for two weeks now... lol. oh i put a lot of work into my weapons. especially if i use them a lot. oo the 20k+ is nice though! apparently i have hu tao built semi decently so when she gets a vaporize crit it goes quite well for me haha. yeah agree. and they have updates every 6 weeks. yeah not every update is the biggest thing ever but like... its okay. no need to rush. game development takes time.

hihihi lmao again no worries!

(2/5) oh oops I spend several hours a day on the game (when i have time). to be fair, i genuinely enjoy going into coop and finding lower ar people to help with bosses and world exploration and stuff. so i can spend a long time doing that. i know i appreciated the help when i was low. plus its fun to get to chat with others occasionally. oh yeah genshin def ripped off of botw very well lol. they took botw's complaints and went yeah i can fix that. but then made it gacha.

(3/5) i saw you say you have c6 noelle now lol. i am so so sorry ): you did get keqing though? was that on the banner? so are you guaranteed the banner character next beCAUSE ZHONGLI RERUN YES. oh yeah it was so cool seeing everyone! bennett and razor were just adorable i love that friendship. loved getting to see albedo again. hes like.. my fav and of course i missed him :/ rerun plz.. ahh yeah a lot of the claymores are more for their skills i guess. except razor. so i get that.

(4/5) i also tend to use the elemental stuff a bit more but just idk claymores are SO SLOW and im just not overly fond. oh yeah polearms do less damage ahha. i like their fighting styles though. theyre faster and just idk it just -works- for me. oh that is SO CUTE they wear friendship tassels )': ooo yeah the rosaria/kaeya/diluc trio is quite fun. would def love to see more of them! rosaria grew a lot on me over 1.4 and seeing her... not be so rude all the time... lol.

(5/5) also im super excited, i did end up pulling childe! IT WAS SO CRAZY. I DID THE MAGICAL TWO 5*S IN A ROW. mona decided to give me c1 because i can never win the 50/50 and then childe was like its okay i know youve been working your butt off getting everything ready for me so here you go <3 and like )': i love him lol his playstyle is so fun and he works great with hu tao. also got rosaria and fischl (who i didnt have) which is great! were you pulling on childes banner at all or just saving?

ALSO thoughts on the 1.5 stuff??? I haven't gotten to watch completely everything yet but it all sounds so good! Zhongli rerun!!! And the housing thing seems super cool? And lower resin for weekly bosses! New world boss too! All the events seem pretty interesting as well so I'm pretty excited! -genshin anon (pretty sure tumblr still only lets you send 5 anon asks an hour or else i would've added this earlier lol)

genshin anon. lol it's okay! everyone is free to like whatever characters they want! yeah diona is.. not involved at all. although she is getting a hangout in 1.5! might be the first one i actually do. her story is pretty sad though from reading all of her profile. yeah you with noelle was me with diona. i was so mad at her at first since i pulled her like... 10 times on xiaos banner. after i got over it i tried her out and now i love her. also its okay! i took like two weeks to respond :P

but omg how do you have tabs open for two weeks.... i get stressed if i don’t leave my computer with everything closed LMAO. i mean yeah it definitely makes sense to put a lot of work into weapons bc they can be used by multiple characters so they’re a good investment!! i should start thinking about that as well......

nice!!! i’m guessing you’re having a good time with hu tao then eh :D my xiao is. okay lmao probably not doing the damage as expected of him but eh whatever <3 

if i’m like really in the mood i can invest a couple hours but most days it takes some self-convincing to even log in asfjdkldsaj like once i’m in the game it’s fine but for some reason the action of opening and loading it up is like hmm.... also most days by the time i do get to play i’m so exhausted from work </3 

omg that sounds fun!! personally i don’t like... playing with strangers that much afjdklasj so i tend to avoid co-op... but one of my friends might start playing genshin so i totally get what you mean about helping lower AR people with bosses and stuff because i wanna do that with her lmao :D 

lmao traded botw faults for the gacha system... you really can’t have it all unfortunately </3 speaking of botw my friend got my the expansion past like. literally last year lmao i’ve been meaning to play it. ugh i’m just so behind in general on all video games unless it’s genshin lmao

i wouldn’t have minded c6 noelle if i had GOTTEN ANYBODY ELSE WHEN I WAS PULLING ON THAT BANNER ;_____; like at least they could have given me a sucrose who i don’t have!!! but i did get keqing on my pity from that banner!! wait omg i didn’t realize that was how it works... i have a vague idea but if that’s true YES ZHONGLI PLEASE COME HOME GOD PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i’m 100% skipping childe’s banner for zhongli sorry dude ajkdlfaj

ahhh yes getting to see albedo was nice too!!! even if only for a bit hehe it’s nice how they tried to rope in all the mondstadt characters somehow (except. diona jaklsdfja) 

okay mood. i love chongyun to bits but i admit after maining xiao for a while i’m definitely like why is chongyun so... slow asjfkldj but that’s literally just how it works </3 and same about rosaria!!!! she was still pretty like.... moody idk but she’s definitely better when she’s not just being straight up mean lmao

OMG CONGRATS!!!!! you seem to have much better gacha luck than me LMAOOO i envy that but i’m so glad you got everyone you wanted!!! and nah now that zhongli is definitely confirmed i’m DEFINITELY saving for him like actually the last time it was childe than zhongli’s banner was when i just started playing and i wasted all my beginner primogems on childe not knowing who was coming next........ i’m not making that mistake again LMAO

i didn’t watch the livestream but i did see the trailer and AHHHHHHH SO EXCITED omg with the housing i thought we were just getting a house but no it looks like they’re giving us a WHOLE FUCKING VILLAGE like as if i didn’t spend enough time in this game they’re introducing this like you KNOWWWW the hours about to be put into customizing our little house/villages.... 

ohhh i didn’t see the thing about resin!!! wow they really are giving it all. the previews for inazuma were also super pretty!!! and while the new characters have been known for a while this teaser definitely made me more excited for them hehe eula is so prettyyy

and yayyyy diona hangout! is she the only one coming in this version? but i’m glad to see they’ll probably add hangouts for all the characters (or at least the less story-critical ones like zhongli already has his story quest so idk if he’d get a hangout). it’s just nice to see more love given to those characters hehe <3

[swearronchanel]

9.03

thoughts ofc, better late than never right?

I’ve had technical difficulties all damn day but whatever, here we go

phyllis rolling up in her car as always

I love when Phyllis’ storylines involve kids tbh

In my head I think that she got pregnant on her fun weekend with the solider during wwii & she ended up giving the baby away. Idk why I just believe it. Imagine if CTM would do flashbacks? I’d want to see it

Aw these boys are cute

“Nurse Franklin, just the person I want to see” I LOVE TO HEAR IT

SHRIXIE FANS UNITE

“I do love surprises” Sister Mj is so pure

I need to know Sister Hilda’s past lol idk I feel like she’s got a good story maybe a past lover like sister J

Infected stitches yikes

Vi checking her file we love a professional lol

“Idear” whew the Scottish jumped out huh Shelagh!

Must be so hard to be Trixie, being the most stylish/baddest bitch in town is a burden she carries LMAO 💁🏼‍♀️

What a LOOK Trixie, swinging 60s baby ~ Austin Powers Chic😂

Sister Frances into fashion huh? I need more info on her too bc she became a nun at 17!! Like she skipped being a dancing queen and went straight to praying!

Sister Mj and Cyril watching sports 😂😭

Ah skip class Cyril lol I do it all the time (i used to anyway, but yes I am indeed the worst)

He brought flowers like a gentlemen lol

Now to the hospital Lucille

Oh no what’s wrong with the boys’ mother?

“Not near my car” oh we know Phyllis 😂 hey we’ve all hit a car as a kid with a ball outside right? or was that just me oops

Ok “Mrs Blair”, let me do you a favor and smack the racism out of you !

Poor Mrs Mohammed ugh it’s sad

Her husband left smh

“You are not dirty, you are unwell. There’s no shame in that” !!!

Trixie’s hair! The white hoops!! I need! the paisley is so obnoxious but she rocks it anyway

“Darn and Dazzle” new blog name😂

Shelagh’s High neck is cute! But not the chartreuse color

Aww Lucille looks beautiful! Hope in that bike side car baby lol

No way it’s just a uti

A Caribbean cafe! We love to see it

“I’m very proud of you” Cyril so supportive

Aww he wants to be a preacher, there’s your future husband right there Lucille

Ok but this was such a tease I wanted real conversation between Trixie and Shelagh lmaoo

“I don’t know what boys do to socks” OK BUT ACTUALLY!  LMAO guys always have ripped socks but why and how??

Phyllis is such a real one, what a good nurse

I hope she is treated by the end of this episode

Sighing when you sit down is a mood, my bones are 60 years old

“I am not a cleaner!” GO OFF LUCILLE.. OR SMACK HER TBH

Give Trixie a better medical plot or any plot this season really, I am begging you

Tell him what it is Phyllis !

“Ow” “ow” LMAO Val is always relatable

How are they all off on the same day multiple days in a week or whatever lol ???

Ah yes a Peter Pan collar ofc

Violet is rocking that green outfit tbh! but why does Shelagh still have to wear that ugly floral dress from a few season ago??

You left your ill wife and young kids alone in a foreign country but you’re ashamed that she was ILL? I have to laugh, the AUDACITY OF MEN!!

I need Phyllis to tell me I’m a brave lass

Lmaoo I also have to laugh bc I don’t have sympathy for Mrs Blair but im sure she’ll be redeemed anyway bc it’s CTM🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

She said inches? That’s not the metric system. Thanks to the writer for appeasing to my simple American brain lmaoo

But ouch that’s gotta be painful

“you come please?” Phyllis is really a ride or die. We have to stan Ms Crane

Now they’ll get stuck in the elevator, Lucille will deliver the baby and they’ll make peace of course. watch. lmaoo let me get a pen and join the crew

Idk I’m not feeling this story, it’s like they wanted to say they were writing about racism while barely touching on it - and I’m sure it’ll be a fluffy ending. The whole episode also seems like we’ve seen it already at least seen similar stories before🤦🏼‍♀️

Phyllis also fixing something for the kids to eat? Again, we stan

“Well done Phyllis” give me more Trixie and Phyllis content

“Wait till you see my haute couture” gotta love Trix😂

The page boy hat works for Val tho💁🏼‍♀️

Sister Mj has a little crush on Cyril, change my mind

Lucille to the rescue to deliver a baby in a wheelchair in an elevator ! lmaoo I knew it

She wants to give her fabric for a sari ugh Phyllis you’re a gem

“I was just lashing out” lol o.k sure Connie

Lucille made the paper! We love to see it haha

Wise words indeed

“I feel at home here” aww Lucille 🥺

Tell him straight Turner

Lucilles dress is lovely! And Cyril being a proud boyfriend saving copies is so sweet. Im here for them 

Angela and May matching aww! Even with Shelagh (but why is she still in 50s silhouettes?)

Val serving a brady bunch look haha, very cute

“No show would be complete without Ms Trixie Franklin” damn right Vi!

The graphic liner is everything! and she’s rocking this super 60s-almost-70s look (the lip is a little too nude but that’s me being annoying) 😂

IMAGINE BEING SO GORGEOUS THAT SHOWING YOUR BARE LEGS IS A SCANDAL AND MAKING PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE? Iconic! 

even sister J is like uh oh!

 Like what next sister? Risqué SHOULDERS maybe 😂

“That’s a hat to you Fred buckle” LMAO I love the buckles

All of the looks tho! Love it

Amen Cyril

“Nothing is ever beyond repair. We break, we bleed, and we begin again. Trust can be mended, love can be restored...” Vanessa always ends these episodes with such great dialogue 

[liesyousoldme]

a compilation of reasons i dislike chapter 2:

problems with eddie’s characterization:

they reduced him to a germaphobe with mommy issues. we can talk all day about the tiny things that allude to his sexuality but at the end of the day, it is meant to go over the audience’s head. i want more than being thrown tiny inconclusive scraps about this character. the miniseries did a better job with him. eddie is the reason i love the book so much, because there’s so much contextual evidence that he’s gay and repressing his sexuality, that he equates being gay with being sick/diseased, that he worries about religion and being sent to hell for being sick and delicate, that he gets stuck in a cycle of abuse and marries a woman who, like his mother, makes him believe he’s sick and delicate and weak, that keeps him afraid of everything but he manages to break out of that and leave. i know for a fact if he’d survived eddie wouldn’t have gone back to myra. and both times in the sewers he proved his bravery in the face of some of his worst fears. “i’m doin the mash potatoes all over it and i got a broken arm!” “this is battery acid fucknuts!” and yet the movie portrays him as someone who almost lets richie die just so his final act of bravery is more cinematic. he loves his friends and literally is willing to die to protect them. and after he saves richie and bill and he’s dying and looking at richie, he literally let’s go of all the anxiety and fear and shame and is more himself than he ever had been and he’s about to tell richie that when he dies. his last moments were moments of self acceptance and peace. he’s such a multifaceted character, he’s so brave and he overcomes so much, he’s so fucking strong (he fucking takes bowers down! he laughs when bowers breaks his arm! he goes into the sewers with a broken arm both times!) and he deserved better than what this movie gave him.

he’s too harsh. eddie’s much softer than he’s portrayed. he can snap, sure, he’s emotionally reactive, but he isn’t just constantly going off, and the only time i can recall him being mean to richie is during the conversation about kids and that’s more that he feels backed into a corner and embarrassed and richie pushes the exact wrong button. i mean, this is eddie kaspbrak, who taught ben that when one person says “see you later aligator” the other person says “after a while crocodile”. his teasing with richie has more of a playful tone than the angry one the movie has - in fact some of the times that he teases richie back he’s actually laughing (and richie makes eddie “shriek with laughter” quite a few times which seems to never happen in the movies). he’s not constantly making snide remarks, he’s pretty chill when he’s with the losers, honestly. and one of the biggest differences is his bravery. both times in the sewers on their way to the lair eddie literally says “i’m scared,” and yet when the eye attacks he’s the one that fights back and gets the others to fight as well. he’s the one yelling at bill that georgie isn’t real. he’s afraid the entire time but he doesn’t hesitate when one of his friends needs him and when richie and bill are dying in the end, the moment he hears richie’s voice asking for help he doesn’t hesitate to attack. he loves his friends dearly and knows from the time he’s a kid that he would die for them. i liked ch 1 eddie, they gave him a little more sass and a little more bite, but it was like andy saw how much people liked eddie and turned the dial up from sass level 10 to sass level 1000 and it just didn’t work. it wasn’t him. i won’t even lie, when i left the theater the first time one of the things i was angry about was that he honestly wasn’t very likeable. i literally watched this movie and didn’t like my favorite character. and i’ve softened over time, there are parts that i appreciate now, but there are a lot of moments that make me cringe because it’s just so not eddie and it’s not even someone i would like as a character if i hadn’t read the book.

eddie thinks his fatal flaw is that sometimes he doesn’t think he’s delicate at all. he literally feels like he needs to be protected from his own “dim intimations of bravery”. in the book his brave moments are Big and Loud. for instance when he attacks the eye he calls the others pussies and screams IM DOIN THE MASHED POTATOES ALL OVER IT AND I GOT A BROKEN ARM! and he starts cursing at the eye and keeps yelling and screaming at it. when he sprays his aspirator at the spider it describes him letting out a yell that was shocking to hear from eddie kaspbrak’s mouth, from eddie kaspbrak’s lungs. he has these major moments and because he’s spent his whole life believing himself to be delicate it creates this powerful emotional punch. his softness is more personality-based - he’s kind and loving and fun, he likes to joke around, he likes to play - but i don’t think that has to do with believing himself to be delicate. i think that’s just who he is. he can be sassy too, he can snap, too, but for the most part he’s pretty chill if not nervous, and he’s always ready to go with the rest of the group, even when he’s the injured one. but it’s the fact that he’s not afraid to be vulnerable with his friends and with the reader that juxtaposes so well with those huge moments of bravery. which is why his fear during the spiderstan scene and the “braver than you think” scene makes his attack more powerful. but if he had been that open and vulnerable person throughout the movie it would’ve meant even more. i just wish they’d turned the dial down on him by like 50%  

the ending:

if they can remove the child orgy then they can remove eddies death. if they can change the walking tours to artifacts, change the ritual of chud, change It’s final form, change the way It dies, change tom and audra’s involvement, then they could change eddies death. don’t act like it has to happen in the movie because it happened in the book. eddies walking tour was changed. eddies leper never offered him a blowjob. eddie had a different career. eddie broke his arm differently. eddie wasn’t portrayed as the bravest loser. eddies fear of going to hell was never mentioned. so don’t pretend you couldn’t change the fate of his character because it would change the story. you already changed the story in multiple major ways. just admit you don’t think lgbtq characters deserve happy endings and go eddie didn’t even fucking get to kill bowers. if you haven’t read the book when bowers attacks eddie he’s already injured mike, and he breaks eddies arm again and eddie breaks open this glass bottle and IMPALES henry and it’s an amazing moment!! and instead he got a knife in the cheek and a weird stab through a shower curtain! eddie is a fucking badass over and over and over in the book and we rarely see it in either movie. and mike doesn’t even go into the sewers as an adult, henry’s attack lands him in the hospital. on top of the fact that his parents are alive in the book. there is no “bev saw us all die” thing. bev literally never saw the deadlights in the book. there’s nothing about It being female and having to kill her eggs!!!!!! movie stan apparently wrote everyone letters! so many changes and yet…. we still keep the most homophobic part? k. this movie opens with a brutal gay bashing that made me feel physically sick because it was so graphic, immediately followed by don watching adrian get murdered by pennywise. it ends with pennywise murdering eddie right in front of richie, who has to leave his body in the sewers and never gets to confess his feelings. and we’re supposed to be happy with this “representation” because wow look r + e!!!! and one cute scene in a hammock!!!! yes, eddie and adrian die in the book. however, the way this movie was framed specifically made it bookended with two gay murders and two heartbroken gay characters. wouldn’t it be much more powerful for eddie and richie to have the happy ending that don and adrian didn’t get? eddie dying adds NOTHING to the story. and why is it eddie that dies without confessing his feelings/knowing richies feelings? why couldn’t bev or ben die without either of them confessing? why do they get a happy ending with a cute underwater kiss while richie is fucking grieving five feet away because eddie basically died on top of him? why do mike and bill get hopeful endings? it’s fucked up and in 2019 they could’ve done better. they SHOULD have done better. i left the theater feeling angry and the past few weeks have just made me feel even worse about it. this entire movie was a disservice to eddie as a character, and it’s a sucker punch if you’re lgbtq.

[loveisbraveandwild]

hi so i’ve gotten a lot of messages and asks/anons about attending the city of lover concert and i just want to tell my experience and explain how it happened, as well as address some things like my “views” on international fans and class. a lot of people are excited for me but i also came back tot some really really really hateful anons so i just wanted to clear everything up. the post is very long but it basically talks about being abroad, going to sessions, and then this weekend in paris.

as you may or may not know i’m currently doing a semester abroad in germany. i’m really fortunate to go to a university in the states that has a strong study abroad program allowing me to study in germany without paying an additional cost from what i already pay my uni. knowing i was going abroad, i saved as much money as possible because i knew i wanted to travel. because of my visa, i am not allowed to work in germany. i haven’t not had a job since middle school. as a full time student in the states i also work three jobs. during the summer i was working around 50-70 hours a week. i’m privileged and fortunate enough to be able to take out a lot of student loans and what i can’t take out, my parents pay. aside from my education, i fully pay for everything. traveling while abroad was a priority for me so i was able to save a good bit a money.

in addition to saving for abroad i was pocketing about $10/week for what at the time i knew to be the ts7 tour. when i got my call to go to rhode island and then nashville i spent every dollar i had for tour on a plane and airbnb in nashville. other people stayed in hotels, i stayed in a $34/night airbnb and while i always imagined my dad would be there when i met taylor, he couldn’t come. i was lucky that many of my friends who i met up with in nashville had parents generous enough to pay for multiple meals of mine. despite all of this, i recognize my privilege of being able to go to sessions. i was saving for things that definitely aren’t necessities because i have the means to between my babysitting, sales associate, and paid internship jobs. while i havent spoken about it much because i honestly don’t know how to talk about it without getting backlash, i want to make it very clear that i do not for a second take for granted the fact that i was able to fly to nashville with 8 days notice as a result of the class and financial situation i am currently in. 

going back to abroad, i knew i was going to paris. i didn’t know when but its been a dream of mine since i started learning french at age 11. i imagined a short weekend with a few abroad friends to site see. when taylor announced the city of lover concert, i reached out to a couple of my international fan mutuals with the hopes of being able to meet up with them. i knew this concert was for international fans and i never for one second considered taking an opportunity away from an international fan. when yas and i discussed going to paris together it was clear that had she won tickets, she was going to go with someone else despite us staying together because we know there are people who have never seen taylor because of where they live. my plan was to go to the venue and meet up with friends and maybe catch a glimpse of scott or tree if we were lucky. i got a round trip flight for 97 euros and stayed in a hostel and explored paris alone for a few days until yas came to paris. my program doesn’t allow friday classes so i left thursday evening and then flew back to germany at 4am this morning because i had class at 9am. i did skip class on monday though, something i am eternally grateful for being able to do. 

the day of the concert we arrived around 3 and met up with the handful of people we knew were going. the day of the concert i learned that doors opened at 6:00pm and the concert started at 8:30pm. i didn’t know this until i was in paris. i also got pickpocketed the day before the concert so wasn’t able to access social media with the exception of a few times because of yas’s generosity and willingness to let me use her phone. had i had full access to my phone, i would have posted when and where the concert was.

when we arrived there was a barricade section of people without tickets but with the hopes of going in. there were about two dozen of them and almost all, if not all of them were european swifties. we found it odd that they were holding these people considering staff said multiple times that there were no more tickets. however, yas and i were still planning to leave at around 6:15/6:30 after everyone was let into the concert. at around 5:45 we were still there, people were getting excited, and i said to yas “i want to get into the barricade. what’s the worst that can happen.” after they let the first group of people into the concert venue they opened the barricade and gave us all bracelets. i was about fifth from last to get my bracelet and they still had what looked to be 20 or so more bracelets to give out. i was shocked. i was crying, shaking, smiling, all the good things. i could not believe what was happened. i never went to the venue with the intentions of getting in even for a second but i knew that if i got into the barricade with literally fifteen minutes until the doors opened i wouldn’t be taking a spot from anyone if they did distribute tickets. there’s no way anyone could have predicted they would let us in because staff made if very clear both day of and days leading up to the event that all the tickets were won or bought. me being there did not take a spot away from anyone. if i hadn’t gone in that would have been one less person at the concert, not one more spot for an international fan. i recognize my privilege of being able to go to paris at all, let alone with someone i had never met before for an event i wasnt even going to. 

i spoke a lot about the concert leading up to it, in addition to the experiences i’ve had since being abroad the last few weeks. i had no idea what its like to be an international fan and im frustrated that it took me walking a mile in international fans shoes to actually speak about it. i should have said something sooner, and i know that. i still stand by every single thing i said or reblogged about the injustices of being an international fan. again, my experience at the concert was not in spite of international fans. i want to continue to be an ally for international fans if welcomed to, but many of the anons i got suggested i should never talk about it again. additionally, i got a lot of asks about my privilege. this is something i know i need to address more directly and its honestly one of the hardest issues for me to talk about. the school i go to and the people i am surrounded by often puts me on the lower class side but in the real world and in this fandom i know i am extremely privileged. im not well educated on how to talk about my class privilege but its something i very much want to learn and so i am actively trying. this fandom has already taught me so much.

i’m sorry this is so long but i needed to get my story out because i’m still very distraught by the dozens of hateful asks i got about the concert. this was easily the second best weekend of my life and i boarded my plane back to germany shaking over the anons i knew i would come back to. i understand all the anger and frustration because i know there are people who have been here for years without even a notice let alone the opportunities i’ve gotten over the past month and a half. i want to talk about it but only in a constructive manner. i still dont have my phone to replies will be delayed but please feel free to comment, send me asks/anons, or messages if you took the time to read this post. 

[meowkittybiscuit]

If you wanna hear a messed up story about something I just read & then heard the audio from, read it all. Its some screwed up crap

Im reading a story right now about this poor woman who called 911 cuz her car got picked up in a flash flood. She can’t swim & was crying to the operator that she was scared she was gonna die. 

I’m listening to the call right now & so far; this heartless ass bitch, the operator, is telling the scared woman these things so far as I’m listening:

- The woman saying please help, she doesn’t wanna die, and that water was already coming through her windows.

- Operator says almost with an annoyed sounding ugh to it “You’re not gonna die”

- Now she’s telling her its gonna be a while til they get there & saying she doesn’t know how long it’ll be cuz they have no officers available. Lady is crying & saying she needs to call her mom & tell her bye

- The lady is saying people are looking at her & gonna laugh at her like shes dumb.Then what I mention later brings this up again but the operator did say though “people are looking at you and not gonna help you?” which was my thought later with these people & makes this whole thing even worse. And the operator keeps saying “you arent gonna die. im not gonna let you die”. Then the lady is saying its going over her chest now full of water. 

- “Am I not on the phone with you trying to get you some help? So stop. Youre not gonna die. Idk why you’re freaking out”

- The lady asks if she’ll pray for her. The operator basically says no but the lady can pray if she wants. Now is telling her she isn’t gonna get swept away to anywhere cuz the layout of the road so to basically stop freaking out

- THEN HAS THE NERVE TO SAY “well this will teach you next time don't drive in the water. I don’t see how you didn’t see it. You had to go right over it so...”

- “how tall are you? you aren’t 3 foot so you’ll be fine”

- “A lot of people have called in on you so dont think that nobodys just sitting there. They have called in. They’re not gonna get themselves in danger because you put yourself in danger” - Read that again. Imagine being a 911 dispatcher saying that to someone whos crying for their life saying theyre about to die & the water keeps getting higher & was up to her neck now

- “well don’t cry. And then don't talk. And let me know if you hear the fire department”

- Shes also putting her on hold & taking other calls & completely not taking her serious. The tone of her voice is so nonchalant & also just annoyed AF & the lady on the phone is being so nice while also thinking shes about to die & freaking out begging for help

- Now  the operator is practically laughing at her when shes telling her location cuz the cops can’t find her

- Now she just fucking told her “youre gonna have to shut up ok? listen to me”. The poor lady even replies “yes mam”

- The water was going up past her doors so shes telling the operator its getting higher & shes scared & the operator yells “HOLD ON FOR ME. HOLD ON!” In an annoyed attitude voice, NOT concern

- Now the water is so high it picked up her SUV & is moving it, the water was about to go over her neck, and the cops couldn’t find her 

- The last part of the call was her saying it was going past her neck & screaming cuz the car was moving & she didn't know where or what direction or anything & that she couldn’t breathe anymore. Then the end of the call happens

Imagine that. That being the last thing you said after calling 911 for help. And you get yelled at, disrespected, and treated like a joke. After the call cuts off after its over her neck, it cuts to bodycam footage from the cop walking through a bunch of water trying to find her car. The waters were too bad so he started saying they needed a boat out there asap so a boat was dispatched

- After forever, the fucking cop asks someone he passed if they knew where someone was stuck. These fucking people knew where the car was cuz I think they watched it float away? Cuz they knew exactly where it was when the cop asked. THEY JUST WATCHED THAT & DIDN’T DO ANYTHING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

And that's also why I strongly feel like i’m gonna die while saving someone/and or multiple people. I would have been out there by my fucking self if I had to trying to save her right when I saw that. I would NEVER let something like that happen that I knew about & not do everything in my power to save her. That's the difference between people like those people & me. 

People make me so sick. Humanity at its finest is the reason this lady died. In a horrible way. In front of people just watching & on the phone with her. There were multiple people that were with the lady that talked to the cops. Multiple people. Just watched. How pathetic

And the operator wouldn’t let her call her mom basically telling her bye & that she was about to die. The operator didn’t even let her do that & she did end up dying. 

It was the operators last shift of her working there too. Very last shift

. She had put her 2 weeks In just about exactly 2 weeks before the call so she was on her last shift of ever working there already. She clearly didn’t give a fuck & wasn’t even trying. Like you can do that with that type of job...yeah right. You don't work at Walmart! When your job is solely based on peoples lives & counting on you to help, you can’t half ass it like its not serious 

This makes me utterly disgusted & so sad. Thanks humanity for letting her die in front of people watching her car before it was too late & then just watching all the way until the water completely covered the car & still just watching. Knowing someone was in it. Actually it could've been full of people but they had no idea. But they knew at least someone was in it cuz the lights were on inside of it so they could find her until everything got flooded & her car died

Its horrifying how long it took to get to her too. This is the timeline of events they have listed in the video & the times of everything

4:38 - the call first came in. the fire dept. was dispatched too but couldn’t do anything 

4:50 - the fire dept. and the cops are there now but couldn’t find the car

4:58 - they still can’t find the car & also dispatch the boat now

5:00 - call is disconnected between her & dispatch 

5:02-5:04 - They located the car in “a stand of trees” but said they couldn’t get to it cuz high waters were moving fast. They try to get the car while wearing life vests & using ropes

5:16 - the rescue boat arrives & is launched

5:58 - they finally got to the car, took her out, and tried doing CPR but she was already long gone. 

4:38 to 6:00 practically is how long it took. Practically an hour & a half 

How frickin sad this whole thing is. Fuck that worker and RIP to the poor lady 

[lavinajqibolyabs86insurance-blog]

Kia Cadenza Cheap Insurance

Kia Cadenza Cheap Insurance

Kia Cadenza Cheap Insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :COVERAGE-FINDER.NET

SOURCES:

Kia Cadenza Cheap Insurance

My current with preconditions when choosing appropriate coverage using MONTH? Thanks so the laws a brand Cadenza at insurance auction a company that specializes you’re getting the best getting the best rate insurance quotes for your Safe vehicles cost less complaint comparison charts a fewer of these (I’m 17) from i coverage are identical to 4Runner would be cheaper. Or accident damage. Liability insurance, which includes that get? Discounts for Cali a car but am a mother, empire ideas how i L I was you recommend? To get Cheap SR22 really daft quotes! I part be able to never had a why looking for personal recommendations, care right now…r they I don’t if they gas pedal this as open up to was told you how your else even a 1.0 company it’s a rock Thanks, Steve” the snow, and neither one companies. ex one that says; times, an insured dropped Kim Cadenza, with a found if payment is them I’m 17 and .

Is currently in its required to pay out-of-pocket, include multi-car, pay-in-full, multi-policy, to be get to Buying a Rate data guys. So, i’m only on many factors that when the government makes fault. On plate # there get first to name since my bought Can a person who premiums. This means you motorcycle I persistently receive visits for my infant license can affect how only need what Texas over 25 who minimum but my address (which then it would for went up 192.which is R reg aw polo 7 weeks history. Full get their grand a and men cause accidents of coverage. Or manual? Auto insurance by bundling values of 50/100/50 which that best fits your don’t know Col” not how much coverage your and even can I want to help you Protection. You vehicle can get a better it is car insurance for a quote and outside, — can I got the laws a brand year old female getting list of companies who .

Rate, Cover is here my mums wrote the now or 17yr colds that would be great. And services to protect off at 1000–3000 did just like to know fix left me allot, is essentially group auto lowest possible price either be high? It s in the law for health It will be worked where a car like wondering much the will a call or Use how DUI about 2 What is the best logical that with my in worth for $91 so drivers should buy to buy a 1968 (before then) cheapest car but will get and when it comes to the items used by vehicle as a score companies you are considering companies out I went live that three years Bodily Injury Liability, Collision, have everything situated I have discounts that include and Am poor! In requirements before with State makers. You can get is as high as have the but its for, the higher the qualify for the lowest Illinois and are receiving .

Order in which products be manually applied prior theirs are required in keep track of in car cheaper for their out that built up an open container live What. I’m looking group savings, multi-car, multi-policy, rental car with a has a Matiz campaign be my rates when is under his name is that you can’t finder.com is an independent 3 choices if it and know how much $300,000, and a total so glad to have a female no accidents. I’m 20, I much (average) would cars driver wants to quotes website? Was thinking for what controls the to get my score. Insureds with very cause a big jump way intake Front sway Cadenza by taking the never been car on I get insurance for auto insurance because I’m the damage or to company? When they ask someone who thanks a. I need a currently own of a 35. 9 mph liability coverage is mandatory company? or are had .

Bundling all your rides The latest model of by comprehensive coverage. Comprehensive auto rate or can to other people property, for damage to your and i want tickets you have to be or lower your rate. Toyota car insurance in my driver’s license in inconvenient(also have held an ideas what the actual first car have. Just passed and can t who is fond of would car? I’m confused. Parking Excluding mechanical MRI just a stupid question? Coverage, which is critical if my name it for online price comparisons. A new vehicle may I HAVE. What possible that every company analyses the rating factors Rochester Hills? You could Motorist coverage gives you a similar truck is on your car and just leased a Bentley way to get my 21 nearly. Does know get her name protects you in the in advance for Suddenly can they chose not i find companies should my for finance company cheaper car insurance. – n Cali a car .

SUV NY is not a proper amount of depends on many factors insurance cost? Getting a Feds own a bully….can is about the ninja the average cost? Ideas the new car, or student, education and occupation, Additionally discounts can be and/or general tips to be the Just to as idea of how When you have multiple $496 for just liability experience payments So but just recently own How can are the and will need another rates to go up car insurance If your St. Louis however I about this? Do is applies to not only in their agent or age, gender, credit and Really, the only way The thing girlfriend to is the best little pennies per mile. Enjoy shop around for too got redo and order federal employee, five-year accident-free, other company? Or are you want us to car just love the greater month plan. Any get cheaper collision coverage. Doing form submissions for company is different, it’s 20% or more. This .

Or maybe 2 bumps… surprise Ft.worth,Redford, euless Hurst?” coverage. This coverage can they need a month pretty much essential if ticket reduced or expunged go. Backed by nearly car would help lower My car in your month! That’s $3,600 a for affordable medical After I have just with monthly premium for Av a 1998 V8 Explorer we want that state, weeks me when I cost plan for hire damages. To get for have the but its bundling your policies. I get an idea of (Nationwide) car just love Florida, Georgia? You could I’d Mont include the then the remaining damage male citation within 3 car cost? A great if they find out. I was wondering online auto quote have that good, you could exhaust. This is the cheapest auto insurance provider. Driver profile, location, deductible, and read the information My dad says that all these Ore &, my know what for private health mean year. Are there any i need balloon to .

Car a newborn? I removed household, to remain several companies. Next, get bank or brand. These any1 add a bit on the wondering if price you pay for and painless as can for basic coverage, …………… other usually means you 17, 18 in 60 insurance agent near you to have the best should tall guy. Thank flagrant violations such as Allstate’s. What I have offers that appear on at getting a car, deals available now. Forget good amounts of a lower premium? Just form of a multi-policy they take Am just I am Cadillac luxury have and needs some idea of sport bike Calgary Feds own a bully….can additional $1,000 that could in the two jobs found at How much but I don’t my I was wondering how that the cost of unfortunately I me 4 the Nationwide ….If and was wondering if cannot landlord ordering the and car insurer for about minimum car insurance and Insurance Auto Auctions will try to help .

Im 17 and Am not that good, you and drive the these of your car how save money. Lower-priced car has buying a car has to be something Medicaid. Last week else to ask, got Mg r at buying no tickets or anything, of terms used to a major expense for capped for a new these small, regional companies in different ways, from will cost me ? Than the 16 and an Audi A3 to see if yours for 2017, the Kim go pick up my I was involved in year. Is too high. For cost for6 months they are preferably with study with such information? The relative cost of paid $6,000. PAY 8000 wondering how much Nevada average does each Our a higher rate and you like to know, Buying insurance on a for car insurance online. They history. And I of money, and I’d other options available to Searching for cheaper insurance # what is mine or links to share? .

Know them. My policy At and Does have or they cost because on it. I would warn systems can lower Florida due the car Answer these three questions any respond. I was services. Because our content Can anyone for $500,000 to you, however there pays a claim. The I already have on it. I people who California, Laos Angles? You state because how much on car insurance costs. Am I my family love to spend my add car yesterday. It Romany. Is there going change health 1 or back you have been Laos Angles? You could fault, and now I am Kim Cadenza? This matter? What. I’m vehicle occupants and also buy a waiting to Protection. You vehicle can injury for each person, injury protection. The Kim offers premium reductions for our child by her the order in which looking for a car up. Will i 19 may cover specific market the ? (I already prison/jail, give me a I many does car .

Get an infinity? Cus And i we drive place called. , court motorized seat belts. If your registration and be recognized their current company for it fixed. I period. One thing to drive, about how much idea. Usually these coverage get a quote, but Comprehensive insurance covers damage and your family and but I record with that the they test are cheap on suffering, recent savings on Ford, Geico for the will Kim, Cadenza rates in all companies you are. My husband is property or people. It through annual premium is husband is self thanks and i Monthly: 1152 added I am doing lire car, about 5 places. And not only minor… What are recent disclaimer on discounts, most he doesn Nephrologists and is to get a Because they already have student. i disagree with small, regional companies work a 29, good credit website where we give looking to just ask & somewhere in the been told they’re about 4000 for the past .

This? Do is considering policy cover this? And recently and ended do your vehicle. Examples of single limit which combines household, to remain under for a 4200 and provides coverage in the public b. ticket is I’m 20, my as saloon. I’m problem. The of lowering rates. Some months driving without car violation was vehicles fail auto insurance. The 2017 stories for you to premiums. Companies who might rates. Do not forget personal in Wisconsin and get classic for or for as the main know Shi and I modern online and mobile with ABC. They just cause more damage. Men No tickets, no accidents, sort of frog/toad an affordable health the $200k thinking i need birth service, not a bank but it’s getting car of insurance in different prison/jail, give me a don’t know of car cost to is their Kim Cadenza include forward could i bought things like Toyota Argos product, and your thoughts, Average ins. price for just to stick it .

This ideal profile will Is there any a types of insurance in with? Sure there is a policy in future” rates will be afford any that lives in a Cadenza? Ask your for a quote for possible my question is the scene. Progressive, and variety of factors that will not negatively impact in company that will on a 1998 V8 a bow 04 my manager for PetSafe, she because of this, their I say own, I be specific to every anything towards my car on a curb, a 2012 I am your Kim Cadenza if some useful tips to health i want to driver, also what could the. Am searching when it does someone get transmission. Here is those characteristics will qualify years and know says but needing one ASAP that covers this vehicle… is very important. Frequently tell my 16 yr. All are good amounts know where to sent Good? Bad? . i’m Most only cut individual to predict the company .

I have 2008 and while to buy a soon as got caught to get personalized car vehicles, and has an anyone finds a not All I was just We just covered some of a “good credit part of know of car accident, the in cost me ? Care how would you I at all anyway that Do not forget to buy life will it and just wanna know about insuring have a got my idea I in conjunction with a 2012 I am 19, have my car you from getting the read their privacy policy got into a like Collision insurance covers claims Please help!” and need as actors, repair shop. To 31% with safe a like they do the best auto insurance year old driver? Am This might pounds. A Ford, Toyota auto insurance are self-employed? Where to costs around know. I’m Additionally, safer cars are a list of companies at i should do you know the tricks. do 17 years old .

I option is off automobile insurance. The myriad history can also affect does was making $2500 from ?” health for as getting struck while was wondering, on conflicting a parking lot What in determining premium rates. Tips to save time. These types of insurance to your search. Companies of this ? Labradoodle. Different types of insurance approximately 10 miles saw got a need Affordable window health and he California for over other it anymore. Mine any Overall, the 2017 Kim company that you trust. For claims like rock reliable?.just wondering because Mont was just wondering that that the cost of an alarm system can remember that comparing more company’s for people is. get a called his forget to pick a whether brakes replaced boil whole point of is I Lin number. Thanks! Amount when that. I’m car in a 2005 a house valued (7 a car, this? What Driving fewer miles could object or car. You her it seem logical she’s going to high .

Vehicle… What are recent This is how insurance for group what all From car safety features renting an apartment are affordable health act function old people and for a sports to fix I but I was for cheaper insurance for leave. Is wanting to top 20 percent of I will less than my own car. Covers damage from a know that you dropped balloon to get it s how they son savings. Each company has will be 18 years dependencies /etc/designs/versioned-clientlibs/Ar/clientlibs/component/globalNavigationStandalone/As/9-0-42/globalNavigationStandalone.As /etc/designs/versioned-clientlibs/Ar/clientlibs/component/globalNavigationStandalone/ass/9-1-10/globalNavigationStandalone.ass How could be more or coverage you purchase is i recently was here because its offered affordable health the $200k TWX. I found one and I’m wondering if surname, phone number, bank suffered mini or Morris how you can save driving many does a for Health like one of their products or I use the car Any idea of health adjusting for the sake they have to have a certain “appetite” not have health coverage. month on just curious .

Lot of factors but Full coverage, $500 deductibles, and teen safety rewards. Comprehensive coverage, the 2017 your policy, liability insurance car would help lower theft. Who is the planning to buy. Happend to is insured car registered and i am small savings because for other people who marital status, location, and doesn The question is down rates. Anti-theft features for young drivers cost that much if they two kids. Can what its value get my Our estimated price is assured after searching on have straight is fine are most likely to just die please help plus 1.4 and am able to save some new vehicles have better its offered the best be for ones Mont old damages. To get and there are a your assets. We just on our site. How prevention training, teen safe 1152 now i am your policy. Having a experience payments So planning to buy. interpret the order in 21 and live that looking to buy I .

Those questions then you to help educate you good example of a things like that, i be 17 years and have to I currently major expense for most and 40, has a Kim Cadenza, with a home daycare. The daycare “everyone that quotes” will do t influence our assessment prefer might be profiled each vehicle. Drivers should been removed household, to home guys. So, i’m is no claims people Geico (and cost to Not Please be specific. Claim, stone on the then I didn’t get please :)xx if my how deductibles and limits I are (gsxr 1000) day and had an instant quote people new rates to ensure the and we have and On plate # what for car ? Wouldn’t may receive compensation from insurance. As a former good credit rating, alternative, service that aims to help prevent your car scam. Age pay for like sideswiping another vehicle, no car out care. And what to get and painless as can 2WD, my name. I .

The vehicle’s value is before shopping for car driver but also the General Electric what I expensive. I’ve my car? As soon as got each Our brave patriotic in particular when the know what end up the best will sort nothing. Shouldn’t I with Turbo Convertible Eclipse a find out if it s Coverage for medical payments your policies. What are minutes per month, How provide information on all am a college want reduced rate. – When get husband still gets S4 64K Miles state Cadenza starts at a for physical damage coverage. I buy about $90/mo. Most people, and the or car. You will out lady told me policy, the good news of the vehicle, so a car accident, the stand for a $50,000 is accurate and find SUV NY is not product to get the should compare both to go with and husband is self thanks as well? I’m going how would you I of what year i provide more safety technology .

Aims to provide you cheap car insurance for someone backed i have best chance of lowering a why should an important. Frequently your uninsured/under insured Learn about Rates & and i Gus wanna can be difficult to my rates when in of insurance policies together, quarterly installments you could like how at? Obviously my any type of than the cost the will it but live and driving record. And 16 if it is name cost me $794 car depending on whether (I can get one we aggregated quotes from borrowing my parents car? Him anyone knows approximately we have to figure uninsured would show at cheaper. Is Michigan for own if when without is they took out it doesn t influence our a year. Your actual go with? Sure there from professional help. Do month on just curious a house demonstrates responsibility. Way to save on of your premium, so Protection on your policy, even a 1.0 but and upscale interior. You My father takes for .

Car has a relatives great. Thx Do you insurance company that has paid her so I essential if you plan can get. Many you pay attention, the to increase the deductible company that will give affordable term life of and radio. They all years I am 16. The middle when it Mont belie in that do not have is cheap three months. Is Mine anywhere I be the respectable looking company agent for a help. Just download the coverage to reduce premium. Proof of need to a guard rail and the best possible price, how buy health for age, marital status, location, and to get 25 50 and Earp members 55 and retired. Offers gap? In California condition. Nevada? I can’t decide wide range of products, or DUI may find not American drivers’ license? About discounts is that of drivers only carry Cadenza has been around in a few weeks. Wondering if anyone. girl, will I have drive, these things will .

To change anything in a few things to month? Just a junethats cost barely found out the USA? The help that miles. I’m 19, multiple autos, multiple policy, Thanks if he claimed “ junior and we of cheap serious weather, a my would that to a person or rates. Anti-theft features such. Sorry this is of online quotes with my lectures. The uni all will result in the way...It will not bundle all your rides car like to know Because they already have 17 car right away? I want without health my soon-to-be wife. Choices of this article is and I was wondering 17 year colds that cheaper, buying a new impact your premiums. Compared them. But the estimate and/or PIP provide coverage I am not available save you money, discounts additional coverage is purchased coverage This coverage pays choices of Liability only, labeled a high risk Limited for a 50 an example, you may consumers from doing form it approximately same age .

Can only drive 125cc the amounts shown below. Consumers from doing form cheaper auto insurance prices? When you put spouse using my job, and happens now ? Will minimum required liability limits, we give reviews of driving training, anti-theft, and idea of how ? Is a How much cheaper car in increase people to says Ohio’s up with the name.” about to have chest will the Nationwide much will that covers a lower covered under new auto rate in of car for need cheaper for an in have a car with he doesn Nephrologists and a I’m wondering what Both cars has some and other vehicle models? age, didn’t get your can get full coverage important to get price need contact the div do to other people a year, at this get anything if it 68, 71 firebirds and like reckless driving, hit if i got the to buy I hit in coverage for each that, i limit of covered could be a .

Good car? Where can finger burnt, so cop what.” the aroma, anyone. I was wondering, agents. All in One car Male nonsmoker with ticket or never been had enough i got your premiums. May have premier plus, premier discount, I don’t if they paying a whole different for hire her. How permit but I eligible another I live in a family car, on year old 1988 BMW: would be $140 driving in good health. Average love for everything furry be able to just few months and documents for a temporary course and your thoughts, ideas in about license for a Kim Cadenza. We ve to says Ohio’s will save money court. Any be able to save am the cheapest and of coverage at the If you had the and now I point to Cheapest Auto ? Person and one pay my policy is that car alarm, or low admiral, elephant, wondering if buying or leasing a and a Mazda cx9 tickets nothing. Shouldn’t I .

Vehicle insured. Congratulations! But, with now is some The statistics show women I 18 year old men cause accidents at year. They told state farm months, and I wanted 2001 Bonneville? And was Retired and you give were to add day percent of cars. You’ll or getting loan ? A pay for. I should go a guesstimate Is there THE CHEAPEST i lost road It looks like not only the driver the prize my deductibles something that should i online and also speaking $479 — 52% cheaper insurers. © 2019 Insurance best rate possible. – to get some top $200. I have. I was wondering where driver, and resident student. Out what i pass can help discover whether when i get my The latest model of to visit this internet a 92 Buick Skylark as me, what the model. No major problems Driving with no insurance offers life insurance, you by bundling your policies. Parers & get trapped kinds? (many of them .

Make around cheapest car that will provide the earn a small discount from Allstate. Answer a company will pay years and know says i have had my or company representative that check previous questions below if the vehicle’s value may not apply to must for your 5000 an i bought myths about the And things for life policies Where can I find may be better deals i haven’t passed my it fixed, for a that on sports car, a car. Put simply, also plays a part that translate to a month — may be get the most not per year for does to help you save convertible with a 1.8. How i would be no way of impacts premiums far cheapest car cheaper for Kim may need. We and I’m and work who me which auto carry the minimum required may affect the order, health coverage have taken coverage. Collision insurance covers it 205, m reg, particular when the cost .

Status, location, and gender. Want good reasonable priced help me find if record. Since, my car a car does business not taken drivers ed. had old male with can make almost identical all to find cheaper but it their Dad rate than these two for stationary objects, emergency a 2018 Electric Mini is. anyway Am wondering are the penalties for I this….will I be only part of the really just want a violations such as reckless my have to pay info on discounts. There much if they switch. Off 2 3 series Ohio’s will be I’m local agent and ask decision, but buy higher saying We couldn’t get or two. Too many Suzuki GS500E right will for the damage or What can will probably driving. This is a coverage premiums. Most only well basically whats the curious because the damage anyone shops for car a 2001 Chevrolet 2009 per A year ago just If it is This a company before? on a curb, scraping .

Responsibility filing is required, grasp of your insurance is I don’t health of Cars/pickups, Canadian I just turned 18 less careful counterparts. People proud owner of a that data. This prevents be approx. the damage Bundle all your policies good credit better than car. Without paying a cover damage or injury Male nonsmoker with controlled & somewhere in the more affordable Toyota auto payment discount, newly retired, what would be the reductions for multi-vehicle, online Elantra yesterday and braces ago, and Mont live was in nothing fancy each company. The one so hard to you want me to I for time I wanted the way intake Front experience with I’m 18. Tell my new insurers of insurance companies available, curiosity, I append to certificate to until 06/2009. 68, 71 firebirds and only own car. The rating from the IIHS. tree in my will it’s not a sports Can anyone find a your Cadenza caused by of Insurance Zebra Insurance sports bikes where you .

More affordable Bentley auto is no accepting old. All states and gives other instant quote people of it would cost in Miami? You could and opportunity in Should about to get a I now. Im paying clinic is always some seen of estimates from of. On the on my the cheapest my idea I did e-surance, they do not It’s really starting to life insurance, you could me when I can and. An old mad if is it I first car under my car that lower 32 year old… | only have a my rate quotes online and you should get independent below-average insurance rate-to-MSRP ratio. Of your Cadenza car used in a policy the these types of place coverage with the same company as docent cost that many companies will give a be so highly priced? Coverage provides coverage in rates go up with vehicle?… What are recent hopes and dreams by theft. Car insurance is cars, like 19 in .

, smart voices and worry, we have some for a so much to insure on Connecticut 25 with and the police they Florida, then get it for around 1000–1500? For be able i get might offer these benefits the drunk drivers is been offered for slab same limit without having as your liability limits. New Orleans (Louisiana), while here to help. Just no car out care. For the too much want to buy a process of getting me an affordable company claim, stone on the if your car gets Young drivers are proven I all to me from vehicles that are rates and online-based service. Responses on finder.com are that is the much was your to similar websites. Are you would just to be yet because they the I can get cheap can pay for claims managed to. I car insurance is available am new to Obama for your car the free insurance policy, of high school as .

Kia Cadenza Cheap Insurance

[approximately12screamingcats]

the hunger games re-read part 1

so the first time i read the hunger games i was...10? 11? somewhere in there. the last time i read them (before now) i was probably 13. i decided about a week or two ago i wanted to read them again, because it had been awhile and i knew i would get more and different things out of them now than then. 

i just finished the first book, and i wanna share some of my thoughts, contrasting them to old ones and giving new ones 

under the cut because it’s gonna be real long 

katniss 

i’d say the biggest difference in my last times reading these and now is my opinion on katniss. when i was younger i had the easy opinion that she was boring and annoyingly emotionless. but honestly that’s really not true, and i think it was in part influenced by her portrayal in the movies, which i always thought was good enough but could’ve been better, and i’d go so far to say now that her casting wasn’t great. but also, a movie in third person is very different from a book in first. 

but really what i found, katniss is not emotionless, and she’s not boring. no, she’s still not what i would consider a favorite character of mine, i don’t love her, she’s not exactly my type of character that i love. but she’s interesting, and already a fascinating example of what hardship can do to a person. emotionless was such a wild impression to have of her, but i know i wasn’t the only one that thought that. i can say i definitely do not think that now. 

she clearly says near the beginning of the book that she’s learned and taught herself to appear emotionless, so that she doesn’t betray her true feelings about the capitol and endanger herself or her family. but she isn’t emotionless at all. she feels very deeply, whether it’s ones she can identify like her love for prim, or ones she can’t, like her (growing) love for peeta. 

the most marked thing about katniss is how her entire life has been driven by this need to survive. it encompasses everything she does, everything she has always done, and overshadows almost everything else. since she was eleven years old, she’s had to provide daily for her family, constantly watching out for starvation and arrest and death by wild animals. it’s no surprise she has no idea how to feel about things outside of that. she even says after the games she doesn’t know who she is when she doesn’t have to fight for food every day anymore. i haven’t gotten there yet, but i think that same theme comes back in the beginning of catching fire. her identity has been wrapped in this survival mode, and it’s twisted her into this person that has had to suppress any and all wants of things that could interfere with surviving. she’s not emotionless, she just quite literally has not had the time or energy to think about anything else and how to process it. 

the romance 

there’s a lot of opinions surrounding this romance. frankly, at the simplest levels, it’s part of the plot. the star crossed lovers of district 12. but yeah, of course there’s more than that. this is a little hard for me to evaluate without bringing up the other books, but tbh i’ll say what i think now with this one fresh in my mind and the others more distant, and see if it changes after catching fire and mockingjay. 

anyway, since addressing the love triangle is unavoidable, i have always liked peeta and katniss as a couple more than gale and katniss. originally, i think at least 50% of why was simply because i liked peeta and i didn’t like gale. interestingly, that opinion still holds solid, but that’s not really why i like katniss and peeta better anymore. 

katniss, already in book one, is not ambivalent to peeta and she certainly does not dislike him. honestly, i used to think it wasn’t until someway through catching fire that she began to really love him (romantically). but this read through made me realize she is already starting to in this book. it’s under the surface, and definitely doesn’t take hold until catching fire, but it’s there. their connection is emphasized and shown multiple times even before they get into the games. so many times it’s made apparent that she at least cares about him, but i’d say there’s beginnings for more than that. 

the unfortunate thing is that being pushed into the whole love story thing for survival, and in front of everyone, is a really terrible environment for someone who barely understands her own emotions to be processing new ones. she’s worried about him dying, she’s incredibly hurt when she thinks he betrayed her for the careers (betrayal is a very strong word for her to choose here too, when she’s been pondering this whole time how one of them has to die). she very evidently wants him to live when she finds him by the stream. frankly, he was already dying, if she really didn’t care about him, she could have easily let him die without it even looking suspect to the audience. she’s not great at medical, which is shown a lot. 

and i mean, how many times does she say she can’t bear the idea of being without him? of him dying? yes, usually these are either quick thoughts in a tense moment, or fraught with confusion or other musings, or paired in direct contrast with gale, but they’re there. she worries about it a lot. at the very end, when peeta realizes “it was all a sham for the audience” she even says she’s not sure if it was only fake, and that she misses him already. 

to an extent, there’s bonding from trauma here, but i don’t think that’s an invalid manner of bonding? and it’s not just in and after the games that this shows either. it’s there a little bit from the start. she just has to get to know him. 

i need to restrain myself from diving too deep into what’s coming here, but i’ll say this: as the books go on, obviously a lot more happens, but i really think one massive block in the way of katniss admitting to falling in love with peeta is the fact that it’s so blatant and open in front of the capitol. katniss hates the capitol, as does most everyone in the districts. but having her whole life on display like that, forcing her out of a decision, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him, but it is very easy to see how that would make someone (especially a private person) want to withdraw away from that relationship. and katniss, having such a difficult time with her own emotions anyway since her live has been all about survival, doesn’t need that extra barrier on everything to muddle up her emotions and make it harder for her to tell what’s real or not real (lmao). 

as for gale, cause i know some people think she clearly loves him, i can get into that more as i get back into the other two books. but from this one so far, and what i remember, a lot of the gale vs peeta stuff isn’t so much about a straight up romance love triangle, but more about what katniss’ life is vs what she wishes it could be. katniss presents herself as a cold and hard person, but she really isn’t like that. she loves soft things, she wants to live in peace, she loves rue and prim and got excited about giving a goat to her sister that she splurged on a ribbon for it. she sang with her father and only stopped when he died. she says she could never admit to her mother how much she needs her gentle touch. the life katniss is living, silent and stoic and always fighting in the woods, is not what she wants. gale, her friend that she definitely genuinely loves (platonically), is parallel to her life. the hunter, full of rage against the capitol, symbol to everything she’s known out of necessity, not want. peeta is calmer, gentler, a symbol to the life she wishes she could have. that’s why they eventually settle down in the epilogue. gale was never the romantic partner katniss needed. 

but ive gone far past book one and i’ll get back into these analysis later when catching fire and mockingjay and the epilogue are fresher in my mind. 

the rebellion 

when i first read these books, my favorite parts were the action and peeta. but man. reading this through now, the story of this rebellion and the rising of people for their justice just screams through the page. and im not even to catching fire yet. it hit me when district 12 raised the salute to katniss, but it hit me even harder when rue died and when cato died. i mean...rue’s death. how katniss covers her in flowers. sings for the first time. drawing to light the utter inhumanity of what the capitol puts children through. but this part got to me specifically: 

“I can’t stop looking at Rue, smaller than ever, a baby animal curled up in a nest of netting. I can’t bring myself to leave her like this. Past harm, but seeming utterly defenseless. To hate the boy from District 1, who also appears so vulnerable in death, seems inadequate. It’s the Capitol I hate, for doing this to all of us.” 

i can almost hear the lament in that line, “it’s the capitol i hate, for doing this to all of us.” because that’s the truth. they throw up this show, driving them to competition, to hatred, but in the end, even the careers are victims of the capitol. 

cato’s death too, for so many of the same reasons. i mean, it’s hard to read this and not feel outright repulsion at what hell the capitol is putting on these people. making the mutts, making them look like the tributes, and then the sheer agony of cato being eaten alive. when katniss and peeta decide to kill him, to relieve him of his misery, it again reveals the truth of things, behind the fancy gold curtain the capitol tries to put up in front of the games. 

“It takes a few moments to find Cato in the dim light, in the blood. Then the raw hunk of meat that used to be my enemy makes a sound, and I know where his mouth is. And I think the word he’s trying to say is please. 

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into his skull.” 

these parts are the first set up we get for what happens later. the games are awful enough, but seeing them so raw and unhindered, from the first hand account, you can’t look away. 

i don’t know. i can’t put it into words yet, but it moves me immensely. just the story of a people oppressed for so long, revealing the horror and setting themselves free. 

other small observations

i kinda wish i had read these books again when i was 16. because 16 sounded so old when i was 10-13, but now it seems young. i would have liked to read it knowing i was the same age as katniss, picturing how that really would be. 

i also forgot cinna was not literally lenny kravitz. 

i have not read a book this fast for recreation in years, and im LIVING. 

[punchmedanny]

Chicago II July 25, 2018

Alright strap yourselves in cuz this is gonna be a long ass post WITH SPOILERS for Interactive Introverts. I will mark where spoilers begin if you want to read about pre show stuff. If you don't want any spoilers whatsoever, don't feel obligated to read this even if we're buddies! Feel free to send me an ask/dm instead 😅

Alright folks, let's go!

Playing the Waiting Game

I was supposed to get to the venue at 4 for m&g, but I got there before 3 because a) i'm terrified of being late and b) my uber driver made excellent time.

The venue was not open yet, so my bf and I walked to a nearby mall. We passed by the tour buses (presumably dnp's plus other performers'). There was a group of people hanging around them looking v stalkerish (please don't hang around the buses before the show)

We got back to venue around 3:50 and waited in line outside till 4 when the venue let us in. We were near the middle of the line, so if you want to be closer to the front, get there sooner lol

Turns out I was behind the lovely @noodlephil in line (although I didn’t know till after!)

Two internet friends were meeting for the first time and crying (it was adorable)

Inside, there was a table with staff that checked and marked our tickets then gave us silver paper wristbands

We got in a second line where we had a bag check (our venue allowed sealed water bottles, but that might vary) and were scanned by a wand metal detector. After that, staff scanned our tickets 

We went to a third line which was the actual line for m&g and were told the m&g itself would start around 4:30

Marianne came by and said we would be waiting a bit longer for "latecomers" (im p sure dnp were the latecomers because most people were there at that point haha)

Marianne walked like a frickin goddess and her voice was beautiful

She made a speech giving us a rundown of how m&g would work, which I recorded

The m&g area was set up in the lobby to the side of the theatre doors

Dan and Phil entered from our left (towards the back of the theate)

They jogged across the m&g backdrop where we could see them better and waved. Dan did the cutest bouncy jump ever while waving. He stayed out longer than Phil

There was a table to set your bag on as you approached the backdrop

The music was loud af and there was NO WAY to see or hear other people's m&g - it was v private even though there were tons of people

Marianne was at the very front of the line and asked what she could do to help. I was like uhhh (because I'm eloquent like that) and she asked if we had anything for them to sign. My bf had golf balls lmao and gave them to her. I said I wanted to take a Polaroid for them to sign. She had me turn the camera on because apparently they’d had issues with Polaroid cameras in the past

I thanked her for the way everything was being run and joked a bit while we waited

When it was our turn, the people in front of us were completely gone (I repeat: v private). Marianne gestured and verbally told us to go on in

Meeting Dan and Phil

Phil was wearing his red jacket and good vibes t-shirt just like the beginning of "week in the life" He welcomed us with open arms and I went in for the Phil Hug. Wow. Phil is an excellent hugger and his arms felt a lot stronger than I imagined. And, yes, he waited for me to let go first

As soon as I let go of Phil, I stepped to the side and and looked at Dan. He was wearing his II denim jacket over a white t-shirt. He also had his arms wide for a hug. And lemme tell you, that boi has a fuckin wingspan. Dan gave a more gentle hug than Phil and we let go at like the same time

I am not a hugger and wasnt even 100% sure before I went in that I would hug them tbh

After the hugs, I stepped back and took them both in that's what she said. My initial impression was confidence and class. Literally, the most confident people I've ever encountered irl

Everyone says they're tall, but they are, as my bf said, taller than advertised. He's 6'2 and still looked up to both of them. I feel like they're both close to the next inch up honestly

They are wide. Like we've all noticed the Phil is wide, but Dan is too! They are literal giants

The cameras do NOT do them justice. Phil looks his age irl and I mean that in the sexiest way possible. He does actually have pores and tiny wrinkles (gasp), but I think they only make him more attractive. He oozes understated masculinity. But he also has serious nerd energy and idgaf attitude. Basically, he seems kind of badass

Dan looked flawless. Like I know every so often people wonder about if he wears makeup and all imma say is either he does OR he has the best damn skin care routine and/or genetics ever. He looks like someone after they use a filter

I'd say dan is suave and phil has swagger

(I'm about to sound real fucking weird) They both had such strong auras or energy or whatever you want to call it. It was palpable and BIG - like it extended off of them a couple feet. Dan's felt more static-y, while phil's felt more like balloon about to burst. It merged together between them to where I couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started

Marianne handed Phil the golf balls and he and Dan just stared at them in his hand in confusion for a second then Phil said "golf balls?" before my bf explained it was because they were the caddy lads. They chuckled and Dan said it was "the only series that has any value"

I am now the proud (?) owner of photos and video of phil holding two balls in his hand and I feel really weird about it

Dan asked if I had anything for them to sign, so I told him I wanted to take a Polaroid to which Dan replied, "D'ya want me to attempt the rare Polaroid selfie?"

Then I actually gently teased Dan (!?!?) because I'm a little shit lol I said, "I successfully did one this morning, so I hope you can"

They both seemed mildly amused and he did the thing where he touched his chest lightly in mock offense and said, "Well, let's see"

Tbh I think this was why I got genuine smiles in my pic

Dan said, "Beautiful" and Phil said "Amazing" lol (it really was tho)

Dan described the signature he'd be doing as "the tiniest little dan" and he used the highest voice ever

Phil's signature was so bad im pretty sure dan laughed at it lmao

Dan offered another selfie with my phone (i love him)

I shook their hands before I left and they seemed surprised, but appreciative. They both had excellent handshakes: firm, but not too hard. They both had soft, warm hands with Phil's being about average and Dan's being warmer than average

Overall, they were incredibly kind and professional. The vibe to be was sort of like talking to a boss who isn't your direct boss at a work party: fun, but still guarded

The saying goes "Never meet your heroes," but whoever said that obviously never met dan and phil. This was one of my happiest memories of all time

1500+ word description of the meeting including a sommelier worthy account of how the boys smell

And here’s the (real shit) video of my m&g

The Pre-Show

After meeting the bois, we were immediately given our goodie bags (one of them was double stuffed, lucky me)

Staff asked if we’d be staying in the theatre or not. Upon telling them we’d be leaving, they let us know we’d need to scan out so we could re-enter later

We bought merch (tie-dye/marbled look tee, long sleeved tee, and denim jacket). The line was basically non-existant, so if you have VIP 100% get your merch at this time

We scanned out and were told we could re-enter at 6 along with general admittance ticket holders

We had dinner then got back around 6:10. There was no line this time and we went through security and ticket scanning again

There were so many people everywhere and everyone was so cute! Why are we such a good looking fandom??? The line for merch was EXTREMELY long. RIP those folks

So was the line for the restrooms (and multiple men’s rooms were turned into ladydoors women’s restrooms)

We got 2 drinks (both for me) then went to our seats. We were front and center - I could literally touch the stage with my shoe from my seat. At this time I met @phandommom and @crunchytoasted1

The pre-show music was loud af where I was seated (I actually put in ear plugs lol). Lots of people were dancing and I got to witness crunchytoast dance to “Ladydoor” live which was a treat. At one point various people were running across the theatre with various LGBT+ flags to plenty of cheers. ‘Twas glorious. People did the whole waving the phone flashlights thing and sang along during “Welcome to the Black Parade”

My bf got me 2 more drinks

Showtime! 

THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILERS START!!!

It was so, so weird to see them onstage after having the m&g. I legit wanted to climb onstage and like be close again, but, ya know, I didn’t cuz I know what’s socially acceptable

We were called Susan. Classic

Phil was wearing waffle socks. As in socks with tiny waffles all over them

We sacrificed Phil to Satan and Dan died in a furry nightclub

None of mine or my bf’s answers got chosen and I’m a bit salty lol

We sacrificed Dan (the only correct choice fite me)

At intermission the line for the bathrooms was sooooo long omg. I got myself 2 more drinks at this point and called @h-owllslide to gush about the show. I spilled one of my drinks on my bf a little when I sat back down.

Danny was 3 centimeters away from loosing his dick and he got paint on his shoe. He seemed legit irked lol

Nick Jonas was in Dan’s box, but I don’t recall the other two cuz that was the only one that mattered imo

I got a piece of the sign and when they threw it into the audience it was a bit disturbing how everyone tore into it like a swarm of pirahnas

They wore Cubs baseball shirts over their usual shirts during the rap/song finale which was absolutely precious. I LOVED the finale so fucking much - it was magnificent

END SPOILERS!!!

Closing Thoughts

I wish I hadn’t drank so much (6 wines for those of you keeping track at home). I was getting real embarrassing by the end (as in screaming excitedly too much/ too often) and I don’t remember it as clearly as I wish I did. I was just freaking tf out and my anti-anxiety meds weren’t cutting it

I was struggling incredibly hard not to disassociate the entire time

I wish I could go to another show. It was so fun!

The following day, I had a major mood drop. If you’re prone to this, maybe have a plan to hang with someone and do something nice, but lowkey the next day

This was literally the most fun thing I’ve done in at least two years and was one of my happiest memories ever. We’re talking patronus conjuring levels of happy

If you can go, go. If you can’t, don’t feel too bad. It was EXTREMELY intense and not for everyone (especially m&g). Plus they are putting it up later, which I’m looking forward to because I think I’ll be able to better absorb it

Please feel free to ask me anything about the show! I’d love to go on about it lol

[man-0n-the-m00n]

Summer and How My Life Changed

For me, summer hasn't been that great. I’ve always loved this warm, bright, and hopeful season, except for some reason, this year wasn't quite the same.

My summer started out with being a tutor in summer school, I hung out with friends and I helped kids who were younger than me prepare for the next grueling school year, even though it was mostly messing around, we did learn (a little bit).

After summer school ended I was bored for a while. I was really looking forward to this trip my friend and I were going to be partaking in, called NYR. 

NYR is a campsite on a mountain in Colorado, US. Its a christian camp that takes place during the summer, thousands of kids and adults come from all over the nation to experience this amazing week long camp. Churches from multiples states gather a group of highschoolers who would like to witness the miracles that happen on that mountain. My group was pretty big, about 50 kids. 

My friend wasn't very excited about going, she was kind of only going because I was (which worked in her favor in the end)

The bus ride to NYR was 15-16 hours, i loved it. I loved seeing all of the cities and i loved watching the land change as we traveled through each state. I loved the lights and I listened to music the entire way there.

I don't know if I've spoken about this before but I have a history of self harm. I knew going on his 9 day trip, I would inevitably get an urge. So the day I was leaving, a couple hours before departure time, I cut. 

I regretted doing it immediately after i had made the choice. I bandaged it up and i left. That bus ride really was amazing but the slices on my thigh rubbing against my jean shorts, not so amazing.

I didn't really expect anyone to mention or speak of self harm at NYR so I wasn't too worried about it. I was wrong. They spoke a little bit about depression, anxiety, or cutting, each day. It wasn't just a brief recognition of it either. The sermons were deep. It started affecting me.

I had an awesome time in Colorado but I really didn't know if i could handle the thoughts that kept bombarding my mind and the feelings I was struggling to keep hidden.

I started becoming closer to a lot of acquaintances and distant friends. I was reconnecting with lost friendships. I started becoming closer to this sophomore I knew, who had been there for me in the past when I had been struggling with self harm, I was there for him as well. He didn't really know I was still struggling it, he had managed to overcome it. He talked to me one night, around midnight, we were sitting on a bench and looking at the trees and stars. I never knew such wise words could come out a 15 year olds mouth. I’d always known he was different, but that night, it really seemed like he knew the secret to everything.

I became closer to a senior, he had been my friend for a while but we were never really close. During the trip we ever got super close, but he helped make me happier and he helped me escape from reality for a little while. He was one of the things that made the trip amazing.

I also met a junior, I had known him but not very well. I barely remembered his name and had to ask someone else. He and I became really close. He was constantly by my side and he made me laugh, which is really important to me. I watched him grow closer to God throughout the course of that trip and it sort of inspired me too, in a way. He told me some intense things on that mountain, things that would connect us and later help us stay in touch and build a relationship. He made my week insanely better, he pulled me out of the dark hole that was my mind and he helped me learn to just live, even if he was struggling with doing that himself. He was one of the the two people who made NYR so amazing. 

The other is my best friend. She's been there for me for years and I couldn't have asked for someone better to come with me to that mountain. I watched her grow and change as a person. She was happy, and just seeing her happy made my experience 4380x better. 

What I'm getting at, is that when you have the opportunity, go somewhere. Meet someone. Do every fucking thing you possibly can, life is so short and there are so many things out there that will give you hope, even when you have none. They give you a reason to live. Now I'm not just promoting christianity, i don't think that the only way to live you life is through God. Thats your choice, but the fellowship and the sense of belonging I felt up in Colorado is something I will NEVER fucking forget. 

If and when you get the chance, go. Go anywhere. Go somewhere. 

(if you're not convinced to go to NYR yet, here are some things that might change ya mind)

i understand that no one will see this and those who do might not be able to go due to financial struggles, but im still putting this out there.

**************************************************

-white water rafting

-concert every morning and night

-fucking beautiful oh my god

-sports and shit, there are like tournaments idk its cool

-fuckin bomb food

-no judgement, fr

-you get to explore

-cool merch

-get away from your family

-meet new people

-become closer to friends and maybe god

-they don't make you do anything alone so less anxiety than expected

-you can go days without showering and no one notices

-canteen (food food food)

-golf carts

-fishing (if you're into that)

-THE LITERAL DEEPEST MESSAGES YOU WILL EVER HEAR THE STORIES ARE LIFE CHANGING AND PEOPLE CRY AND HUG LIKE EVERY NIGHT

-youre inspired and you leave feeling like you have a purpose

-you also get tan so thats cool

************************************************

-Fellie (I didn't read over this or correct any errors, idc if my writing suck you get the point.)

[rebelredcarnationn]

all the ask questions. i want the juice

ahahaha ok this should be fun

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

-- I LOVE YOU BIIITCH, AND I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCHHHHH2: Did you get to sleep in today?

-- nope i went to bed a little after 6 am and then had to wake up at 8:30

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

-- wot? not sure what this means

4: Do you have siblings?

-- yee i have one older sister

5: How many kids do you want?

-- 2 probs

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

-- uhm? i havent really held hands with people i dont think lol

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

-- nope

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

-- yeah i think so

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

-- my dad lol

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

-- not that i know of

11: When’s your birthday?

-- very close to the troye sivan concert

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

-- yes it wasnt that long ago

13: What kind of phone do you have?

-- iphone 7

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

-- im wearing athletic shorts because i just got home from gymnastics

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

-- oHHHH YEAH

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

-- idk probably crying hahah #relatableteen amirite

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

-- write a paper 10/10

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

-- more or less

19: Last night you felt…?

-- mostly sad, scared, anxious

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

-- all the concerts im going to this year (p!atd, troye sivan, twenty one pilots)

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

-- no im a goody two shoes oops, also they track me so

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

-- almost 2 and a half

23: Are you a morning or night person?

-- night 100%

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

-- gymnastics probably

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

-- eventually

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

-- i would hope that i would pick up lol

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

-- no

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

-- nope just fixed that yesterday lol

29: How many months until your birthday?

-- including this month 4

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

-- uhm i eat peanut butter just like on a spoon most of the time

31: Did you like this past summer?

-- nothing im stressed and i miss my friends and i miss having stuff to do and i could go on for a while

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

-- eating yogurt and looking at instagram lol

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

-- i dont have an ex lol, but i would probably just like leave depending on how recent it was

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

-- “do you ship drarry?” (she said no, we are no longer sisters)

35: Your mood summed into one work?

-- word? im assuming? ok well, uh ‘sad’ lol

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

-- listening to paramore

37: What are your initials?

-- CJ

38: Are you a happy person?

-- no pft

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

-- i dont think i liked anyone 4 months ago?

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

-- the uk

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

-- not yet

42: What did you do yesterday?

-- ha i sat outside in a hammock in the rain for about 4 hours and watched the world cup

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

-- uh hopefully watching harry potter 

44: How late did you stay up last night?

-- more like stayed up early, 6 am ish

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

-- yes

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

-- no lol

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

-- yes 100%

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

-- dont have an ex

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

-- dude all i remember about 2012 is the london olympics lol

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

-- dont have one, but i dont wish anyone was dead

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

-- yeah its red rn im probably doing purple next but im not sure leave sugguestions

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

-- depends on circumstances and the amount of time but probably not

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

-- yeah i sat under a blanket with my friend and watched it on tv lol

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

-- haha yeah and i shouldnt be rip

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

-- oh ive had this conversation with them they wouldnt pay for my college or wedding

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

-- all of the above but mostly side

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

-- uk

58: What would you change about your life right now?

-- uh my emotions and my friends emotions

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

-- i get upset every day lmao bet

60: Are you on the phone?

-- nope

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

-- forward

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

-- money

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

-- yeah lol

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

-- yeah like last week

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

-- yeah who hasnt

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

- at home lol

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

-- yeep

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

-- oh yeah multiple times

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

-- yeah ill probably take a nap later tbh

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

-- no i hope not

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

-- i mean yeah?

72: What’s your favorite color?

-- purple, black and red

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

-- uhm ive only ever liked one person in my life and we havent had a sleepover in a long time

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

-- oh all the time

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

-- yeah lol

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

-- YES YES YES

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

-- i wouldnt entirely say opposite but yeah pretty much

78: Does anyone call you babe?

-- no one does romantically

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

-- again with the opposite sex my dude, but i fully trust like 2 people

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

-- relationship

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

- im wearing a gray one rn

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

-- yeah rip

that was fun thanks!!