#got my dad the best funniest gift.

[francesderwent]

incredibly sexy things my boyfriend has done lately:

snatched my little niece out of the path of a door that would have opened smack into her head

remembered which Wimsey books I was missing from my collection and got me one of my favorites as a gift

whilst looking at my parents’ wedding photo album said “oh you guys got married at the cathedral? I didn’t know that” in a tone that secretly meant “we’re gonna get married at the cathedral”

[sugurizz]

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐬 ✧ Feat. JJK MEN

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ── Jjk Men in their -real- Daddy era. (Am I secretly having a baby fever LMAOO)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ── fluffy stuff, pure wholesomeness and affectionate dads.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢

It's safe to say that sometimes you're raising two babies - only one of them is a big buff pouty one.

Daddy Toji sneaks to the kitchen in the middle of the night, leaving you both sleeping in your shared bedroom and then slowly closes the door. He promised himself he'd only take one *unnoticeable* spoon of your newborn's baby formula but ends up stuffing his face with the forbidden powder in the heat of the moment. He tries his best to hide his tracks by shoving the tin somewhere far in the cupboard.

He *oddly* always makes sure to be the one preparing his baby's bottle the next day - 'Oh darling, don'tcha move a muscle...I'll be right back with our baby's breakfast!'

You smile and raise a brow, already suspecting something. Daddy Toji is not much of a morning person. much less when it comes to baby chores...

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

Gojo is always there whenever you change your baby's diaper. He keeps laughing and giggling like a 6 year old, curiously learning from his baby momma how to take care of his little child. His sky blue eyes are staring at your skilled hands, handling your precious little one with infinte care. He keeps smiling in awe, chuckling every time your baby farts and making the funniest faces just to make them giggle.

He takes a million pictures of his baby every day; we're talking his whole camera roll is just his baby's face, cutesy hands, tiny feet, smiling, eating, sleeping on daddy's chest, drooling on his shoulder...the list never ends.

His baby looks so smol when he holds it in his huge hands. He has to bend all the way down just so he could pick them up cause obviously my dude is the tallest man ever.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢

He'd take full care of your newborn just to see you rest and relax. He told you to teach him everything he needs to know so that he'd be perfectly fit for his new -and best ever- occupation; your baby father. He's got however only one pet peeve; getting his little one to burp after feeding them.

The reason? He was doing it once, holding the baby while gently patting its back...until he suddenly felt a warm liquid slithering down his shirt - the expensive one you dearly gifted him on your wedding anniversary- and to his surprise it was none other than his little one's vomit dripping down his shoulder...

Now he makes sure you hold a napkin behind him whenever he does it.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨

He's by far the chillest Daddy EVER. Carries his little one whenever he goes. Gets super jealous when your baby starts calling for you, or wants you to hold them instead of him. He's determined to make them say 'daddy' first, but deep down knows it'd melt his heart when he sees the little version of him utter mommy's name for the first time.

Staying awake at night putting his baby to sleep just so you can get your full nightly rest is something he'd never miss out on. He hates seeing you tired or sleepy and puts both of your needs before anything else.

Daddy Geto is always calm and smiley, no matter how much mess his baby makes or how long it'd take for him to clean it up - sometimes makes you seriously wonder how he manages to be so damn chill all the time.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚

For a husband twice your size with four arms and eyes he sure should take most care of your little offspring - He does tbf - His baby is always laying somewhere on his body or at least near him; sleeping against his chest, nibbling on his thumb, drooling on the side of his shoulder or sitting on his huge lap.

He's got a 6th sense whenever it comes to his baby being hungry, thirsty, sleepy or needing anything at all. Instantly knows the reason why his little one is crying and most of the time is very quick to make them happy again.

Absolutely hates poopie smell and calls them a brat whenever he senses their diaper getting heavier. 'Aggh you little runt!' You can't help laughing at him getting overwhelmed with such a tiny thing and start teasing him over it.

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐭𝐚

There's nothing that Yuuta loves more than children. He has always wanted to have kids and couldn't wait to create his very first and own one with you. He's in LOVE with seeing you taking care of them; almost admiring every move and every word you say. He smiles like an idiot whenever he sees you holding your baby, breastfeeding them, playing with them or even laying next to them.

His favorite game is to hide somewhere in the house and let his little one look for him. He does it so suddenly and quickly, leaving them puzzled with big round eyes - comes out of his hideaway when they start sobbing and laughs at their little red nose and pouty cheeks.

'Aww why is my little cupcake cryiiing?...Daddy's right here!'

[the-daydreaming-show]

Midnight thoughts on Batmom and her children's clothes.

WARNING: My mother was like this, Not on the money side, though. And you ask:¿Ella, are you projecting?, and I will answer: No. ¿Were you got such nonsense idea?

This gif represents my mind right now. I should be sleeping.

Batmom keeps its kids SPOTLESS when it comes to dressing. She doesn't control what they wear, but her kids have only the best brands on them. And if she couldn't get whatever they want in the best brand, it's gonna will be tailored for them.

JUST THE BEST FOR HER BABIES.

And she does not repeat it, there is no such thing as the younger brother taking the clothes of the older one in this family. Each child has their own style, autonomy and clothes, and they rarely agree on those things so sharing is never an option for them when it comes to clothing. If her baby grows out of their clothes, Batmom donate it or keep it for future grandchildren.

I mean, I'm talking about #silentluxury for her children, from they feet to the tip of their heads.

The funniest thing about all this is that most of the time they do not even realize it. It's not until a Gotham news forum pulls out a detailed article about the Wayne's silent luxury fashion and how it dates from Dick's early days at the mansion to the present day with Damian that they notice the pattern.

Like, imagine newly-reunited-with-his-family-but-still-rebellious Jason wearing a sweatshirt of the brand The Row that clearly bought his mom and costs at least $ 800 that he can not pay because he is a rebel and does not need his dad's money but he acepts gifts from his mum, of course.

Or little Dick returning from a day of art classes (because Batmom decided to give him other extracurricular activities other than a vigilante dressed as a traffic light) excited with his Dior jeans of $ 1300 dollars stained in paint, but with a work of art in his hand that he did only for his mommy.

Or Tim, wearing a pair of $450 black Gucci sandals, walking half-asleep out of his college class after he didn't hear his alarm, so he left with the first thing he found from his apartment.

Or Damian, putting one of his cashmire sweaters on Titus at Christmas, wearing a maching of his own, equally expensive and soft.

Also, imagine Cassandra only wearing THE BEST in balett shoes and equipment, totally unconsciously of the amount of money that really costs, all that because neither Batmom nor Bruce ever told her because it's nothing really that expensive for this family.

And no matter how many clothes they ruin. Never. And I repeat: NEVER their mom will allow her children to have something less.

(They are more spoiled than they themselves even realize.)

Bruce got jealous at some point and started letting Batmom choose his wardrobe as well.

Allright, NOW I'm done.

Good night.

[midnghtprentiss]

family - spencer reid

summary: four times spencer and his daughter made you feel like family and one time you were family.

singledad!spencer x reader

a/n: no use of y/n, no body descriptions, a couple os swear words, pregnancy. english >is not< my first language. enjoy!

materlist

One.

Spencer became a dad at a really young age. He was twenty one when his daughter, Estelle, was born. Her biological mom left and since this day he was a single father and the best he could ever be. When he entered the BAU, she was three and he wasn’t alone anymore. Everyone helped him besides he insisted it was fine. Penelope was the first one to put Este under her wings and took her everywhere. During the trips he trusted his baby’s life with the blonde woman and every time was the best decision.

Things changed when they welcomed you to the team. Emily and you were greeted at the same time but you caught his eye. Not because you have the same age but how his daughter was obsessed with you. She couldn’t hear your voice and see your face that it was over to everybody. You used to joke that if she went missing it was her fault. A few times Spencer forgot that she was not your real kid and his mind played tricks on him. 

‘’Reid, I’m taking your daughter home with me. You’re never seeing her again, just like Tangled.’’ You blew him a kiss and the sound of Estelle’s laugh made everyone smile. ‘’I am the funniest person you know, hm? But I’m serious, if you need some time to sleep, read or do whatever I can watch her. The girls are coming over tonight and we love to have Ellie around.’’ 

‘Ellie’’ was the nickname you gave her. The only one that called her like that. He loved how you created such a beautiful bond and he can count on you all the time, even when he doesn’t have to say a word in moments like this. Like a family. 

‘’It’s alright, I need to take her bag in the car but you can take her. Thank you, I really need to sleep.’’ He smiles at your direction, taking his kid again. 

‘’We are leaving at five, when she’s ready you know where to find me.’’ You come closer to him, holding the little girl's hand. ‘’Are you ready to your first girls night, Ellie?’’

A not normal but really close family and he was so grateful for the love they were receiving from everybody, especially you.

Two.

Estelle was growing really fast with the most normal childhood Spencer guaranteed. He made sure she had friends, a nice school, a normal house with a princess room. All the things he didn’t have, he guaranteed she had. She understands sometimes daddy was away for work but auntie Penny was taking good care of her and making a lot of tea parties with her dolls. 

She was ten at the time and still obsessed with you. You were her role model of a woman. Smart, pretty, funny and knew her favorite books by heart. She almost considered you as a mother though it was a secret she kept in her heart. Spencer was enamored by how you two treated each other with love and respect.

The team just got back from a case when Spencer heard Estelle’s giggles from something Penelope said and smiled. He stayed away for ten days but it feels like an eternity, he missed waking up with her shaking him and asking for pancakes, he missed her reading her books for him and definitely missed her rambling nonstop over things she learned at school, saw during the day and the scenarios her pretty head was creating. God, he was such a sucker for his baby. 

‘’Daddy!’’ All he saw was a cute girl running with a pink fluffy skirt, a purple shirt under a jeans jacket and rainy unicorn boots. 

‘’My baby! How are you? I missed you so much. I brought you a gift.’’ He took her in his arms, giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

‘’A snowglobe?’’ He nods laughing at her reaction. ‘’I miss you daddy. I have so many things to tell you I wrote all in my diary so I won’t forget.’’ She was proud of her actions and so was Spencer. 

It took her a few seconds to finally snap and look around for you. The desperation of not finding you was real for a moment, until she saw you at your desk. The brightest smile appeared on her face when you waved and she runned into your direction. 

‘’I finally found you! I miss you, ya know? I asked aunty Penny to help me get you a gift for your birthday and I can’t wait until next week, so here it is.’’ She grabs the little sparkling bag with Penelope and gives it to you. 

When you opened the bag there was a picture of you two together at her birthday party from last year. She was smiling while you laughed at something you don’t remember now. Your smile got bigger and you just hugged her. 

‘’I love it so much! I’ll put it in my desk so I always remember you.’’ The girl shakes her head ‘helping you put the picture with the most proud feeling ever. 

Spencer was watching everything from his desk. A warm feeling radiating from his heart, a cozy and sweet feeling of things right. 

‘’You should ask her out, pretty boy. This whole pinning thing is driving me insane and I’ll proudly watch her for you.’’ Derek teased him. 

‘’Yeah, give me a second.’’ The man walked towards you wearing a smirk you knew really well.

‘’Pick me up tomorrow at seven, pretty boy.’’ He doesn’t say a word but his heart has a lot to say. 

Three.

You and Spencer were dating for almost a year, things happened naturally and lightly. Estelle was happier that her two favorite people were dating, every sleepover was a party and both of you couldn’t be more satisfied. 

It was the first time in months that the BAU got a case in Virginia, which was good but bad cause it was closer to home. You and Emily spare for a couple of seconds to get into the precinct when you heard the shot but your first instinct was to look at what was burning. There was a lot of blood coming from your stomach. You look around to notice Emily holding you, noticing the commotion around the building. 

‘’Honey, keep your eyes open. Look at me.’’ Emily was trying to not let you close your eyes. ‘’Tell me a secret, anything, but don’t close your eyes.’’ 

‘’You know Spencer invited me to live with him and I sent him straight to hell.’’ You sight heavily. ‘’I want to say yes, I need to.’’ 

‘’You will, trust me. I’ll make sure you do.’’ You could hear his voice in the back, screaming something unintelligible for your conscience. ‘’Keep you eyes open, for God's sake!’’ 

Everything went blank for a while. You only remember waking up in a hospital bed. Penelope was sleeping next to Spencer on the couch. Your head was dizzy and your body hurt a lot. You took a deep breath before Spencer jumped next to you. 

‘’Hey you.’’ You spoke softly, holding his hand. 

‘’How are you feeling?’’ He strokes your cheek gently. 

‘’Sleepy and dizzy. How long?’’ He analyzed your microexpressions before answering. ‘’Stop profiling me, Spencer.’’ 

‘’Three days. You were shot in the stomach, lost a lot of blood and went to surgery. You’re awake now and definitely moving with me.’’ He jokes and you smile. 

‘’You’re awake! Finally! I love you so much. I’ll let them know.’’ Penelope seemed so happy when she left, leaving you two alone. 

‘’Spencer, if you want to propose right now I will dump you right now. I swear!’’ 

‘’I won’t! I wasn’t even thinking about it until you mentioned.’’ He said leaning over to give you a soft kiss. ‘’You don’t need a ring to be part of my dysfunctional family. By the way, Estelle is really excited for you to move with us, she was helping me with your office.’’ 

‘’I get an office?’’ You raised your brows and laughed. 

‘’If you want to work in her room full of glitter and toys that’s your call.’’

‘’I wouldn’t mind at all.’’

His damn heart missed a beat when you held his hand and closed your eyes again before going back to sleep. 

Four.

Spencer was nervous, he was terrified actually. It took him six months to propose to you in the way he wanted and it didn’t work. His plan was to take you to the vineyard you wanted to go to for months but the day he made reservations it rained so much there was no way you could go. You stayed home instead. Watching some movies with Estelle, eating popcorn and laughing at stupid things. Steve was a genius but everytime he was close to you he turned into the dumbest person alive. 

Estelle knew he was about to propose because she helped him find the ring and she gave so many ideas. Indeed she suggested he should do it when she wasn’t expecting, and he did. He put the ring out of his cardigan pocket and watched your reaction. You barely missed it focusing on Harry Potter but when you look twice there was it. The fucking ring. 

‘’Spencer what the fuck!’’ You covered your mouth with watery eyes. 

‘’Marry me.’’ His heart was so fast he swore he was close to having a heart attack. ‘’You are part of my life, part of this family and I don’t think I can live without you in my days. I love you. I open my heart for you in the same way you opened your for us. You accept me. love me. I can’t promise you white picket fences but I can promise you this, moments like this. I give you my sunshine, my best but the rain it’s always gonna come if you stand with me. People think love’s for show but I will die for you in secret. Marry me, so you can be forever mine and I can be forever yours.’’

‘’Yes. I do. Oh my God!’’ The tears streaming down your face made him giggles watching you trying to stay calm. ‘’I love you. A lot.’’ 

‘’Did she say yes?’’ You two heard Ellie’s voice and received her in the hug. ‘’Welcome to the family.’’

Five.

Spencer got home without making a lot of noise for the time. The clock marks two in the morning. The last thing he expected to see was his wife and his daughter on the couch talking. The TV was on in the soft volume but he could perfectly recite the conversation by ear.

‘’I can’t wait for you to get out of there. We have a few years of difference? Sure, but I know all the goods to use on dad.’’ Estelle was talking with the same voice she used to talk to her dad when she was little. ‘’Mom is harder, but dad is so much easier to convince.’’

‘’You’re gonna be in so much trouble if he hear us, Ellie.’’ You spoke, stroking the teens' hair. 

It took you and Spencer almost five years to have a baby. You felt like this family missed something else and the baby was your answer. Everyone was excited about it. You were seven months pregnant at this time. Sleeping is harder when you are bigger than ever, most nights were like this. You usually lay in her bed and keep talking until fall asleep or have to pee again. 

‘’Why I wasn’t invited to this party?’’ Spencer showed up holding his coat and bag. 

‘’Only pregnant woman and teenage girl are invited to insomnia party, sorry babe.’’ You teased him.

He dropped his stuff and sat between you and Este’s. He leans over to give you a kiss and a hug on the teenager. He placed a hand on your swollen belly before cleaning his throat. 

‘’This is your dad, hear me out, no one is going to use the goods on me. In this family the only one that can escape from things is the cat.’’ You three let out a loud laugh. ‘’Maybe mom because we love her. By the way, don’t let your sister got into your head she’s crazy sometimes.’’ 

‘’Spencer Reid, don’t play with the daughter you raised.’’ 

‘’By the way, you should let our mom stay more than thirty minutes without having to pee. I used to love sleeping with her but she wake up too much.’’ Estelle places her hand closer to her dad. 

Spencer spent hours just listening to you two interact, like mother and daughter. Laughing, sharing secrets and jokes, cooking and singing songs. Some of the moments just make sense in the bubble you create and make him happy. 

‘’Fine handsome, time to help me go to bed. You put this baby on me now you help. I want to be able to sleep more than you tonight.’’ You grab his arm, trying to stand up. ‘’I love this but I can’t wait to this baby pop out of me.’’

‘’I like your pregnant personality. You’re sassy and no one can say anything to you because you have a gun. Besides, you’re prettier.’’ You kiss your daughter's forehead before walking upstairs. 

‘’I’m always pretty and no, I have three guns.’’ The gasp she let out made you giggle. 

Spencer’s hand was in your lower back slowly walking with you making sure you’re safe. 

‘’I love you and our little family that I steal from you.’’ 

‘’Wanna know a secret?’’ You nod. ‘’It was already your family since day one.’’ 

[pinkapet-rates-anime]

I'm talking about One Piece again, not sorry. I'm never sorry for gushing about the best pirate show EVER!

How Luffy recruited his crew- abridged edition

The simplest but also the funniest way I can describe the way the crew got together.

Koby- The notorious sword fighter Roronoa Zoro is on this island! He hunted pirates, you should leave immediately!

Luffy- Hell nah, I want that guy on my crew! He sounds cool!

Zoro- Go away, I can handle this on my own!

Helmeppo- *Plans to break the deal he made with Zoro.*

Luffy- Hell no! *Saves Zoro.*

Zoro- If I had died I would never be able to be the world greatest swordsman, thanks I guess. I suppose your my captain now.

Luffy- This clown guy is annoying. *Beats up Buggy and helps Nami.*

Luffy- You should join my crew!

Nami- Ok! *Already planning to rob them blind.*

Luffy- *Meets a weird dude with a long nose, a slingshot, and a compulsive lying issue.*

Luffy- I like this dude.

Usopp- My island is being attacked by pirates!

Luffy- *Helps with the pirate problem.*

Merry & Kaya- *Gives them the Going Merry as a thank you gift.*

Luffy- Come on Usopp, I know you wanna join!

Usopp- Fine! I'll become a warrior of the sea, like my deadbeat dad!

The Crew- *Hops on a restaurant boat for food, and meets a weird chef with swirl eyebrows.*

Luffy- Hey, join us!

Sanji- Dude, no. I'm not leaving this restaurant.

Don Krieg- *Attacks the restaurant.*

Luffy- *Deals with it, as per usual*

Zoro- Fight me! *Says Zoro, to the greatest swordsman he could never hope to beat, because he has the crazy goal of being the greatest swordsman.*

Mihawk- *Severely wounds Zoro.*

Sanji- You guys all have dreams just as crazy as mine, might as well join you.

Nami- *Steals everything from the Strawhats to make money.*

Luffy- Nah, not gunna bug her.

Arlong- *Has somebody steal the funds to by her home island from Nami, to force her to basically continue being his slave.*

Nami- Luffy... help.

Luffy- *Zero questions asked takes off to go beat that dude Arlong just because she asked for his help.*

Luffy- *Almost dies doing this, but nevertheless the mad lad does it.*

Nami- I'll actually join this time, no more robbing you guys.

Nami- *Gets really sick and almost dies.*

Luffy- A musician can wait for now, let's get her help. *Almost dies getting her help*

Chopper- *Accidentally gets spotted by Luffy, who immediately sees a reindeer and thinks "Dinner!"*

Chopper- *Transforms to get away.*

Luffy- Holy shit, a monster! Join my crew!

Chopper- *Offended by being called a monster, runs away.*

Sanji- Luffy is a monster too. Dude is literally made outta rubber.

Chopper- *Sense of camaraderie, but not enough yet.*

Luffy- *Helps him see his adoptive fathers dream through.*

Kureha- Go on kiddo, join em.

Chopper- Fine! Also I'm a doctor!

Luffy- Sweet, we needed one of those!

Robin- Theres no point in living, my research is going nowhere. Let me die.

Luffy- Absolutely not! *Saves her by force.*

Robin- You forced me to stay alive, guess I'm your problem now.

Franky- *Steals all the money from the Strawhats so they can't afford to fix the Going Merry, or buy a new ship.*

Luffy- Dude wtf. *Wrecks his base, but the money is already spent and gone.*

Usopp- I see your willingness to move on from the Merry as a personal attack, but I won't tell you that. Byeeee.

Robin- *Lets herself get arrested and sentenced to death to protect the crew.*

The Crew- Oh helllll nah! Get back here!

Franky- *Kidnaps Usopp as retribution, not knowing the situation of him leaving.*

Franky- Dude your ship is about to fall apart, let her rest.

Usopp- I know that! But the Merry is important, and also I saw a ghost fix her once.

Franky- Dude that ghost WAS the Merry. She talked to you because she loves you guys.

Government- *Kidnaps Franky and Usopp too.*

Franky- You have good friends Robin, maybe you should just let them save you.

Robin- No, I'm doing this for them.

The Crew- We literally don't want you to do that.

The Crew- *Literally wages war on the government to get their friend back.*

The Going Merry- *Saves the crew before having a tragic funeral as sea.*

Franky- You guys need a boat. It just so happens I used the money I stole from you to buy this epic wood to make a boat out of. You guys practically payed, so you can have it.

Luffy- Awesome! Now join us!

Franky- No.

Literally like a fifth of the population of Waters 7- *Steals his speedo in an elaborate game of keep away to get him to go to the Strawhats.

Luffy- Join or you can't have these back.

Robin- *Twists his balls to force him to join.*

Franky- Christ, fine.

Luffy- Holy crap guys it's a talking skeleton! Let's go talk to him!

Half the Crew- Absolutely not.

Luffy- We are doing this y'all.

Brook- Hello! Miss may I see your panties? *Asks the 90 year old skeleton dude*

Nami- Wtf? Absolutely not.

Luffy- Join us!

Brook- Yes!

Half the Crew- Luffy no...

Brook- I can sing and play instruments!

Luffy- Fuck yes a musician, finally!

Brook- My shadow was stolen so I'd die in the sun. Can't join, gotta get it back, don't follow me, BYEEEE! *Runs on the water and leaves.*

The Crew- *Accidentally ends up in the same place Brook went.*

The Crew- Oh shit zombies!

Luffy- Awesome! I wish all these monsters would join the crew!

The Crew- Dude... why.

Half the Crew- *Gets their shadows stolen by the same dude who stole Brooks.*

Brook- Use salt, it works.

Luffy- *Beats up a giant zombie with his shadow in it, and then beats up the warlord who steals the shadows.*

Luffy- Brook, join us.

Brook- No, sadly I cannot. As the last living member of my crew, I have a duty to our friend the whale, Laboon.

Luffy- Oh that whale? We know him! I drew our Jolly Roger on his face, he's a buddy of mine.

Brook- Guess I'm joining!

Jinbe- Luffy, buddy, come to the fish man island and say hi!

The Crew- *Immediately causes chaos.*

Jinbe- Dude please stop.

Luffy- Haha, no. So who do I needa punch to get you to join us?

Jinbe- I can't dude. Love you man, but I have prior arrangements.

Luffy- *Fixes the problem on the island*

Luffy- Ok now join us.

Jinbe- Busy.

Luffy- *More chaos.*

Jinbe- Fiiiiine. *Severs Ties with the Big Mom crew and joins them.*

[mnjohn]

Animorphs was the series that got me into reading as a kid. I wanted to read it again as an adult because I was never able to finish it when I was a kid (too hard to find all the volumes!) I have been slowly making my way through the series and recently finished "#18 The Decision". Read below for my opinions on what I have read so far but beware of spoilers.

"#1 The Invasion" - A good introduction to the series. Jake is a little bland, but I enjoy the drama of his relationship with his brother Tom.

"#2 The Visitor" - I absolutely love Rachel. She was my hero as a kid. Despite that, I also found this one to be a bit bland but I do admit that the shrew morph was pretty freaky.

"#3 The Encounter" - Explores some surprisingly dark themes. I always thought that it was a shame that Tobias and Ax have the least books, because their perspective is the most interesting. I mean, the boy IS A BIRD!

"#4 The Message" - I think that I found Cassie to be a bit boring as a child, but as an adult, I absolutely love her! She just cares about everyone and everything and is just so lovely! This book also introduces Ax, another one of my favourites!

"#5 The Predator" - I don't remember this too well, but I know that I enjoyed reading Marco's perspective. His character has some real depth. The twist was juicy. And I loved Ax's stupid silly interactions with Marco's dad.

"#6 The Capture" - Darkest book so far. Probably the best in the series. Jake's experience with the yerk is absolutely horrifying.

"#7 The Stranger" - While I enjoyed Rachel's family dynamics and her struggles, I really hate time travel plots in fiction. I suppose that it could have been worse. And at least Rachel is amazing.

"Megamorphs #1 The Andalite's Gift" - This was not very good, but it was very fun! Rachel gets amnesia, a plot straight out of a soap opera. And Marco drives a pick up truck! I enjoyed the multi-perspective book, but I thought that some of the action scenes went on too long.

"#8 The Alien" - AX! This one is my absolute favourite! This book has the perfect balance of silly humor and weightier plot. Ax's loneliness and identity struggles really resonated with me.

"#9 The Secret" - I do not remember this one too well, but I do remember that I liked the focus on ecological issues. This is the sort of book that made me really love the series as a child, because I was obsessed with animals.

"#10 The Android" - This was weird, but in a good way. Nice to meet new alien allies. The action scene towards the end was really intense!

"#11 The Forgotten" - This is the worst. My absolute least favourite. As I mentioned before, that time travel in fiction is a really bad idea. And this book this is a great example of why. The ending just made me feel like, what was the point? Why did I spend time reading this?

"#12 The Reaction" - Hilarious! There was much good humour in this one! I particulary enjoyed when Rachel accidentally morphed into an elephant and destroyed her own house! It also explored some darker aspects of humanity, with the selfishness of the teen idol. Good stuff.

"#13 The Change" - I know that some important plot things happen with Tobias, but I do not really remember this book too well. I think that I was vaguely disappointed with how the kids treated the Hork Bajir. I have the impression that they thought that the Hork Bajir were lesser creatures, which seemed very unfair to me.

"The Andalite Chronicles" - I enjoyed the first two parts, but the third got a bit too weird. Learning about Andalite culture was great, and I enjoyed Elfangor's fascination with the car and the image of an Andalite driving.

"#14 The Unknown" - This was the funniest book so far! I mean, the yerks in the horses using sticks to dial a payphone, was possibly the most beautiful imagery that this series has ever put into my brain. And the fact that the US government was guarding an old model of Andalite toilet, was the perfect cherry on top! This was probably my second favourite book so far.

"#15 The Escape" - It seems that Marco books just have the best action scenes. I don't if it is because he gets lucky with having more exciting plots, or if his narration style just suits action scenes better than the other characters do, but for some reason I found all the action in this book to be really engaging.

"#16 The Warning" - The best part about this one was the 90s computer technology. Ax was laughing at their internet speed. So was I. Also, I do not think that chat rooms ever worked like that? It seemed like the text was being shared before the person had finished typing it? But I was very small back then and never used a chatroom, so what would I know?

"#17 The Underground" - I was really surprised by the attitudes towards mental health displayed in this book. Like, I knew that things were not very good for the mentally ill when I was a kid, but I was surprised by how brutally critical these kids were! Thankfully things have changed for the better.

"#18 The Decision" - This one was pretty crazy. From the begining where Ax is terrorizing a food court, to the part where the kids get sucked into Z-space and join the Andalites fighting in Leera. A very exciting book! Ax's emotions are so complicated and this book just solidified that he is my current favourite!

So there you go. These are my opinions on the books so far. It seems that while I started reading this series because of the way it explores complex issues and the effect of war on children, the scenes that I enjoy the most are the silliest. I think that is kind of unfair on my part because the series really does a good job of exploring serious topics, but I am having heaps of fun! I hope that you enjoyed reading my opinions and I plan on sharing more as I read more books.

[francisversion2]

Marry Christmas everyone

I am a born Orthodox Christian but spending Christmas with a group of catholics so I am being festive today.

Growing up I was always told "please don't ruin Christmas for us"

I grew up with neglecting parents, so I almost never got a gift and I barely celebrated it, since my parents would make the day just for themselves and when ever I would say something or get upset I would be told the same thing "don't ruin Christmas for us"

This year after my best friend learned I didn't celebrate Christmas made sure he made me a Christmas movie worth of Christmas. It was magical I never experienced such holiday joy for past few days and he really did his best and I appreciate it.

So about the gifts... Well I got spoiled but I spoiled back.

Wilbur got me every single book Albert Camus wrote , Frank Sinatra vinyl and my probably fav a hand written letter.

I got him Remus Lupin and Sirius Black funko pops (he adores them) and vinyl with our favourite songs on it.

Mark he got me some David Bowie related stuff (t-shirts, posters, CDs) he wrote on top of it "delivery from the mars"

I got him his favourite book translated in 5 different languages since nothing makes a language major and polyglot happier then reading same book and experiencing it in different languages and i got him a water bottle since that little ass keeps stealing mine water bottle.

Matevz the Christmas man and man who made myself experience the Christmas spirit. He blew my mind with the gift... He got me kitten (he actually got two but gave one to Mark too) he said he saw the Two in the shelter and seeing their names among many , Henry and Camilla. I got Henry and he is adorable black and white cat that has been very calm, while Camilla is a beautiful white cat that is very energetic and keeps climbing on stuff.

I got him couple of t-shirts which the the most random chaotic text saying dumb stuff (he loves them) and as a inner joke of ours I got him a flag of Yugoslavia since he is Slovenia and I am Serbian and we have this joke about the history of Yugoslavia.

But the most funniest part was my adoptive dad coming to join us and he too got me a cat I called Garfield (he is orange I had to name him that)

So hey now I have to cats.

I couldn't be more grateful for what I got... I never got as much as today in my life... I am so emotional this whole day... I can't express how grateful I am.

Finally feeling love

[zoxsansnc]

Get to know me (based on xxSabitoxx's)

❤️ how tall are you? 5'2 :(

🧡 what is your sexuality? lesbian

💛 what is your favorite feature on yourself? my eyes, I guess

💚 where are you from? Arizona

🩵 do you have any pets? 2 Shih Tzus and 2 cats

💙 do you have any siblings? older brother even older sister

💜 describe yourself in five words or less! gay ADHD One Piece obsessed

🩷 dream job? vet tech

🖤 Favorite hobbies outside of your blog? Marching band/regular band

🎂 when is your birthday? March 26th

🌙 your zodiac (Sun, Moon, Rising) Aries

💉do you have tattoos and/or piercings? got my ears pierced not that long ago

🚗 can you drive? no :(

✈️ favorite place you’ve traveled? Jerome, Arizona never been anywhere special cuz I hate flying

🎤 have you been to a concert? no, I plan to go to one though

🎵 favorite artists? Mother Mother, Melanie Martinez, Bo Burnham

🎧 last song you listened to? Goodbye - Bo Burnham

📺 last show you watched? One Piece

📝 last thing you wrote? don't do a lot of writing so it was probably something on my blog

🔐 something no one would guess about you? I have a girlfriend and we've been dating for almost 2 years

🧟‍♀️ The scariest thing that’s happened to you? My brother left me :( oh well, I got over it

🔥 craziest thing that’s ever happened to you? high school

🍓 favorite food? my mothers chicken alfredo (that shits better than olive garden)

🍅 least favorite food? spicy

🍊 favorite season? fall/autumn

🍋 favorite genre to read/watch/write? adventure

🍐 if you could make one character real, who would it be? Monkey D Luffy

🫐 someplace you’d love to visit? Chornobyl, Ukraine (after the war, for obvious reasons)

🍇 a word your friends would use to describe you? weird but fun

🍒 what is your earliest memory? walking into my brother's room and him sleeptalk saying "Elmo is that you?" funniest shit ever

🍌 what is one talent you wish you had? empathy I stopped giving a shit about people and their problems after July 5th 2020

💌 why did you start this blog? ZOSAN and Zolu but ZOSAN

✏️ when did you start writing fanfic? never started reading a little after creating a tumble account

🖇️ What are your favorite asks to answer? I don't get any :(

📚 how do you come up with the fics you write? don't write

📌 what is the fic you’re known for? don't write

🔍 what character do you enjoy writing for the most? don't write

🖊️ what character do you not enjoy writing for? don't write

💔 is there a fic you wish you didn’t write? don't write

❤️‍🔥 what character do you simp for most often? luffy cuz he's adorable

🧚‍♀️ favorite characters of all time? any of the straw hats they're so silly

🪐 favorite shows/series of all time? ONE PIECE

🌝 a show you would recommend to anyone? ONE PIECE

🌚 a show you’d tell people to stay away from? riverdale

🌹 favorite kinks to write for? don't write

🥀 kinks you would never write for? don't write

🌊 a kink you would like to write but you think you’d be judged? don't write

❄️ full fics, imagines or head canons? don't write

☂️ your favorite fanfic from another writer? time travel/speed run au

A couple of in depth questions!

🍄 what is something that’s happened in your life that you wish you could go back and change? imma trauma dump real

July 5th, 2020, my brother and I were visiting my dad when he (my brother) said he was going to stay with him (my dad) for 2 more weeks (I was still so upset) sooo, um, yeah it's been almost 4 years, they have been disowned in my mind :)

⭐️ What is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you? getting straight superiors in band MPA for 3 years in a row, and getting over depression ig

🪻what is the toughest thing you had to go through, but can say you’ve successfully overcome? my brother leaving me, but I'm a completely different person and for the better :) (I hate who I was before)

🌺 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important? My girlfriend gave me a lion squish mallow with a rainbow mane and rainbow heart on its belly and I love it so much idk why I just love it

🍀 what is your comfort show/series and why is it your comfort show? How has it helped you? ONE PIECE shuns away the dark thoughts (except for marinefort), can't be having those

PLEASE MESSAGE ME I'M BORED ASF AND I WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO (just comment or message)

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Update after I’ve read your blog like the evening paper:

- As a historian, this a legit, sober question (that you are obvi free to decline to answer): how did your dad survive promiscuous gay sex in LA in the 80’s?

- Please for the love of god read Gideon the Ninth so you can meet Harrow, the best female poor little meow meow ever written

- I saved that “girl no idk how to do that, I didn’t go to college for that, that’s someone else’s job” video for future use. Fully intend to send it to my boss one day, I’ll let you know how it goes:)

This has to be the funniest succession of asks I've ever gotten. I'm honored that you find *gestures vaguely* this weird repository of my shit worth giving a second thought to. It's always kind of strange to think about the fact this blog does in fact have an audience.

As for your questions:

1. I honestly don't know. I do know that all of his stories about friends he'd had in his teens/early 20s who died tragically young make a lot more sense. He was also engaged to a woman (neither my mother nor his current wife) from 1989-1990 so I think that may have also contributed.

2. I actually almost picked up Gideon the Ninth today (my sister got me a b&n gift card for the holidays and I went looking for Kelly Link's The Book of Love and couldn't find it so I almost bought HTN in a fit of pique before finally finding TBOL hidden in a corner). It's on my list I just know its gonna deal a certain level of emotional damage that I need to like... be prepared for.

3. PLEASE let me know how that plays out. I'm giggling just thinking about it

[boomblebee-420]

Sk8 Headcanons

Random Sk8 headcanons because I can. If you don't agree with them, please just keep scrolling

There is some shipping between characters. Some of this is me projecting onto characters because I kin them lol

Fluff, Angst, Crack

Warnings: Mentions of self-worth issues, self-harm, suicide attempts, homophobia, anxiety, meltdowns, death, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks

REKI

-definitely chews on his pencils

-has wanted a dog for years but he’s allergic

-transmasc demiboy 

-biromantic and demisexual

-uses he/they pronouns

-AuDHD

-they’re a hopeless romantic

-his binder is orange 

-started a fund for top surgery

-gives Langa wheels that they make as birthday/holiday gifts, or just whenever

-spins/jumps in a circle to stim

-also repeats memes, vines, sounds, pretty much anything he finds funny or interesting

-he doesn’t look like it, but he reads a LOT 

-they don’t like reading for school because the books suck

-bouncy leg bouncy leg bouncy leg

-separation anxiety with Langa

-FAST FAST FAST MUSIC OR DEATH

-used to cut, but stopped since meeting Langa and the gang. Relapsed when he and Langa were fighting

-depression and anxiety

-knows how to drum (self taught on buckets and empty bins. He’s actually really good)

-inferiority complex

-incredibly impulsive but also very cautious

LANGA

-constantly tapping fingers on everything

-autism, inattentive adhd, ocd

-cat person

-gayyyyy

-asexual

-uses he/they/ice 

-talks to his dad a lot (even though he’s gone, it makes ice feel like he’s still with them)

-non-verbal sometimes

-donates some of his paycheck to Reki’s top surgery fund every month

-has no regard for his safety

-my guy can’t take a hint to save their life

-plays a lot of video games

-hyperfixated on omori and undertale 

-clicks ices tongue a lot

-has made an attempt on their life before. Ice is better since meeting Reki and the gang

-doesn’t really like books, more of a movie person but he usually doesn’t finish them in one sitting

-really bad intrusive thoughts. Ice will often shut himself up in their room for days because of them

-gets Reki flowers all the time

-Everytime ice meets a new skater, he demands a beef

-Can play the piano

-Monster Energy addict

-depression 

-Used to be extremely emo (style-wise)

-Listens to midwest emo, regular emo, shoegaze, indie, some pop 

-Likes to stick to a schedule and has meltdowns if it’s disrupted

MIYA

-Aroace

-They/He/She 

-genderfluid as fuck

-hates polka dots (STRIPE SUPREMACY)

-loves all fluffy animals

-loves going to the zoo and making fun of random people there

-royalty of embarrassing his friends

-huge abandonment issues

-tends to stay up till three am eating fruit snacks and playing video games

-she and the gang have mario kart contests every saturday night

-has hidden in Langa and Reki’s houses before and scared the shit out of them

-listens to fleetwood mac but will never admit it

-learned german just to fuck with people

-photobombs everyone (even people they don’t know)

-Wilbur Soot and Lovejoy fan. He and Langa listen to them together while playing video games

-Perfectionist

-Has G.A.D and depression, finds it hard to do simple tasks a lot of the time

-Gets panic attacks sometimes

-Watches MCYT

JOE

-Bisexual disaster

-he/him

-Knows spanish and uses it to his advantage

-my guy got mad rizz, as we all know

-Used to be in a band with Cherry. They were called Skate Bomb. It didn’t last long

-Plays bass and guitar

-Sings, but not very well

-dude’s been cooking since before he could walk

-dominates mario kart almost every single time

-listens to everything under the sun (mostly surf rock), and sings country songs to annoy the gang

-has memorized all the vines. Good luck finding one he doesn’t know

-sucks at dying his hair so he forces Cherry and Shadow to help him

-Was a theater kid

-Favorite animal is a penguin. Thinks they’re the funniest things to walk this earth

-Self-harmed as a teenager

-Has anxiety, and tries his best to help the gang when their not feeling the best

-Horrible eyesight, he wears contacts

CHERRY

-He/She

-Gay as fuck

-Agender

-Autistic

-had horrible handwriting and Joe kept making fun of him for it, so she got really good and opened his calligraphy business out of spite

-secretly loves musicals, and knows every word to Hamliton. Like, she memorized the entire script

-Fluent in english and french

-plays a shit ton of instruments and really good at all of them

-major perfectionist

-extremely tech savvy

-believes that Carla is his soulmate

-sings like a fucking angel

-can’t cook for shit, but has really high standards for food

-has horrible self-worth problems and only Joe knows 

-Parents were incredibly homophobic and strict, so she’s really sneaky

-Acts like he hates being touched but is secretly touch-starved and craves attention

-Grew up rich 

-Donates a shit ton of money to charity. Also donates to Reki’s fund when she finds out about it from Langa

-Doesn’t really like animals

SHADOW

-Been gardening since he was small

-He/They

-Trans FTM

-Pansexual

-Really good at makeup, and occasionally will get into drag just for fun

-Amazing fashion sense

-Loves his grandma and brings her flowers all the time

-Been in love with his manager for years

-Has O.S.D.D, and O.C.D

-Horrible relationship with his parents. They cut off all communication with them as soon as he turned 18

-Sucks ass at mario kart

-Has a god complex and inferiority complex 

-Gets intrusive thoughts a lot

-Saved a shit ton of money and managed to get top surgery at 22

-Listens to goth and punk music and hates country (except Dolly Parton, he loves her but will never admit it)

[tabithagracealterman]

So many questions.

I really am Grandpa's favorite wicked adopted stepchild?

Luke and Leia are ...

Jon?

Is GoT actually that good?

Normal People are Ben and Cody?

Was it October when I sat on the lap and listened to the classical guitar like I was in Heaven? Who stopped the stoplights, and how?

Yes, it was the best and most perfect first kiss ever. Of course it was. I apologize to the other 299 for typing that. Only one was ever terrible. This is why I believe there is no such thing as a good or bad kisser if I am kissing them. Mister was lying about it all, but that's pretty clever.

Has everyone seen the hot tub videos? And Mister, did you think you were the only one?

Is there video of my free throw contest championships? Hope so.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Is my Dad Gandalf?

Hugging people who didn't ask for hugs is not sexual harassment, if it's me. New Rules.

What is Warren Buffet's role in all this nonsense? FBIL?

Donald Trump needs someone to just hug him like I hug. Maybe Joe Biden?

Kasuo Ishiguro Hero

Is that why that book was so, just, so...

And the Viggo Mortensen role was just that, too...

Ah, Liv.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

I am starting an unpaid contest with the prize of a gift horse from Amber Ruffin. Make the funniest GIF for #MakeAmericaFart. Please. :)

Tumblr told me to tag Kristen Stewart. So I did!

I do not see a way to add alt tag to this GIF. Do you not need to alt-tag GIFs? If so, it is a man with a duckhat on his head. Kinda Rasta vibe. Btw anyone ever get in touch with Sean and Tennyson? I'm an incredible mother, Bethany.

Alt tag for below: Cool raven girl with bugheart eyes, and a confused manboy lurking near the shadows.

Finally (which comes when the never) Will you, Dear God, please put the right settings back on my mouse?????????? Please. Puh-leez!

Do I get Savannah back?????????? She could run any of your big Hollywood studios. I promise.

[invisibleinkpen]

The Gift of Nothing. Fun Xmas Prank for Friends.

Take "Less is more." to the max with the hilarious Gift of Nothing!

Some people think something is better than nothing, well think again! Introducing the fabulous Gift of Nothing. It's the best gift for the dad who has everything, the mom who always says "You don't need to get me anything, sweetie." or the girlfriend who is definitely testing you when says she doesn't want anything for her birthday.

Make it the gift that keeps on giving!

Your husband may have bought it for you on Valentine's Day, but watch out because Xmas is right around the corner and he's next! Pass this hilarious gift idea around the family and see who gets nothing next. Men and women alike will get a kick out of this extra special gift - even grandpa could get in on this action! Other presents can't compete with this ultimate unforgettable silly gift.

Family friendly gift everyone can enjoy.

Enjoy some good old fashioned family fun with the funniest fake gift! Appropriate for kids, teenagers, and adults of all ages! Whether it's for a bday, Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Xmas, nothing could be better than this. This anti-gift contains no nuts, no meat, or anything at all so even vegans and people with peanut allergies can enjoy!

Office making you participate in Secret Santa?

Just bring nothing! The Gift of Nothing, that is. Share laughs with coworkers when you break this out at the office White Elephant Christmas party. This weird (and definitely not stupid or useless) toy will be a smash hit this holiday season.

What’s in the box?

You will receive one (1) "Gift of Nothing" novelty package with nothing inside.

Lifetime 100% money-back satisfaction guarantee!

If you aren’t completely satisfied with your order, simply email us, and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!

Some customers review:

          Ray Rauch

Great white elephant gift or the gift for someone who said they wanted "Nothing" for the holidays. This fits the bill super nicely. I think they are going to love that I was thoughtful enough to get them nothing and that's all for this Christmas season. It's really what they deserved after all.

          Jess

I love this gag gift and laughed at all the clever labels describing what's in it/what it's for (nothing of course) etc.. What's better than to make someone laugh and put a smile on their face? It's peanut free, sugar free and emotion free! I love it. I would recommend this.

Heidi Anne Heiner

Okay, this is hilarious and we giggled over it all weekend. I got it to give to my dad for Christmas and have already teased him that it is something that he's always wanted. It's true since he is not big on getting stuff and doesn't care about receiving gifts. So I finally found his perfect gift. This will make the entire family laugh when he opens it up. I like that I can keep teasing that it is sugar free, gluten free, etc. in the meantime.

If you care about this product. Click here: https://gift-of-nothing.com/

[deadfruity]

Do you have any fem losers fic recs? Or fem reddie? Or just your favorite recent it fics in general? I'd appreciate it!!

I'll hafta get back to u on those first two, but there actually.Actually if anyone has any recs for fem losers TELL ME. I got this super sweet one to add on here tho! And then yes ofc I got some favs to share:

areas of expertise (puzzle stan. funniest one on this list)

the year of the goat and your kid back (y2k + eddies dad is alive, gay, yadda yadda + new yawk + bada boong + stan's a stoner)

Won’t You Be My Neighbor, Dr. Tozier? (everyone wants richie's dad's richard)

Selected Interview Highlights—Dateline NBC: SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK (if u imagine bill hader as richie we’ve got a bill and kieth morrison paradox in our hands)

If I'm Butter (my favorite romcom)

Richie from 5 to 7 (took a common concept and had me howling)

Collateral (i specifically love U, bevvie)

The Kids Table + Honeylamb (this is the author stitchy, no explanations !)

in the morning i'll call you (also my favorite romcom)

me and you (setting in a honeymoon) (richie (flirting): 'what kind of gel do you use? ur hair looks ugly as fuck rn.')

What Beauty Is For (richie's manager clearly doesn't count his blessings!!)

we made houses out of cardboard boxes (one of my favorite eddie's liiiiterally ever)

Been Down Two Times (wip, but still perfect)

Gift From the Turtle God (if stephen king himself wrote a happy ending)

Bed Knobs and Bar Fights, (+ book eddie casual sexual crisis Judgment, and Mike, Eddie, and Mr. Chips starring in Elegy For My Best Friend) 

There Are Easier Ways To Kill Yourself, You Know (haven't actually read this one in 4 years, but i remember thinking it was it went so harddd!!!!!! and i trust myself. it's the only one that's stuck with me all this time. it heather's au where the losers club r bad people!!)

and now i don't have to go in (my 1990's recc! im so handsome!)

[izusun]

Headcanon: Izuku is into DIY.

Hot Take: Izuku would create a long furby. He has a collection of various eldritch creepy long furbies. Katsuki absolutely refuses to go into his room because of them. He would've exploded them by now but that would make Izuku cry.

Other CursedTM Things that Izuku does that makes Katsuki die inside and that Katsuki tries to hide from the rest of Class 1-A:

He's a part of the Vulture Culture community and collects roadkill and dead animals to turn into bones.

He has a collection of shitty All Might hawaiian shirts.

He has a collection of stuffed animals. They all have names ripped from Lovecraft such as "Yawgsathoth" and "Mother of Pus"

He writes fanfiction of the heroes.

He has a giant worm on a string plush, and his room is also decorated with Worms on Strings (you have no idea how much Katsuki had to bribe him not to add worms on strings to his uniform blazer)

He does have a plague doctor mask and will regularly just go out in a cloak and his mask

He cosplays exclusively female heroes, and crossdresses the worst dresses

He basically does art makeup, on his face and the face of Katsuki

"Hey what are you reading?" "Oh, this book on how to cook frogs."

He will eat anything. Including stuff that is on the ground. He has an iron stomach.

The actual reason Izuku hangs up All Might everywhere (it used to be a mix of all heroes) is because once in middle school Katsuki accused him of being straight, so he put him up everywhere and continued the habit, Katsuki hates his room now

- Goblin Anon (otherwise known as Goblin anon projects everything she does or wants to do onto her fav)

HI GOBLIN!!! GENUINELY SCREAMED AT THIS AU BECAUSE WTF

even i would not want to enter the beloved’s (izuku’s) room because of his shit.

i’ve searched up long furbys and i am, simply put, traumatized. i had a collection of furbys when i was a kid but we had to give them away because there’s too much of them. but long furbys? i am very much scared.

there’d be a picture of a long furby under the cut, and i’m genuinely terrified of the fucker.

also, can i just say that izuku writing fanfictions is the least cursed thing that he does? because like, reading the rest is like looking at that picture where you can’t decipher a single thing because, again, wtf izuku.

but they’re also funnier? creepier? because i can genuinely see izuku doing those dhekdoowks

✄┈┈┈

this shit would probably be snaking around the frames of izuku’s door. or he probably has one at the corner of his wall, the one that meets with the ceiling, and when a visitor looks up, they’re greeted by the sight of this centipede looking furby that has additional four eyes that izuku lovingly and carefully sewn on. it’s so nightmarish :’)

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the vulture culture part started when they were young. his interest started when he saw a documentary on how to pin butterflies and he was like, “you know what? thats actually something i want to do!” but! BUT!! he cannot catch a butterfly, thus he settled for mounting dragonflies which he collected in the nearby stream (where katsuki fell).

fun fact about mounting dragonflies: they lose colours when they’re dead. you can use acetone to not only help preserve its colours, but also to stop its decay. they decay so quickly, it’s terrible.

anyways, izuku does not know that and instead followed a youtube video of how to mount dragonflies, using an old picture frame as the case.

inko comes home, sees his son doing his stuff and is just happy that izuku’s not rewatching that loud all might video. she helps him pin the other wings and they are fascinated at how pretty they look. well, the next day, the wings are now transparent and the belly side of the dragonflies are black. it also stinks so they had to throw the whole thing plus the case.

izuku’s fascination grows from there.

a failed experiment, after all, instigates the desire to right them.

so that’s where he starts: butterflies, moths, beetles, another dragonfly case.

katsuki is fascinated and disgusted because, “why would you want dead insects in your room, deku?”

the rest began when the bakugou’s and the midoriya’s have road trips. inko doesn’t have a car so the bakugou’s drive along with them, and it’s a good day. the kids are having fun and getting along, and the parents are chilling and enjoying their vacation. life is good.

then on their drive home, izuku, who is sitting sandwiched between katsuki and inko, lets out this blood-curdling scream. it wakes katsuki up and almost had masaru swerving the car out of the highway.

“maru-san (because my boy izuku cannot say masaru) can you please stop the car! i wanna get that!” he screams, pointing at something indecipherable by the side of the roads.

masaru does anyways because it’s so rare for izuku to request something, but also his heart’s still pumping so fast after izuku’s scream.

masaru wasn’t even done stopping the engine when the car doors are opening, and katsuki and izuku are tumbling out, hand-in-hand. masaru and inko follow them closely, while mitsuki stayed to watch over the car.

katsuki’s excited for an adventure, but then izuku just. stops them. in front of a skull.

masaru chokes from behind them and katsuki lets go of izuku’s hand so fast, running back to his dad because, again, “deku what the shit?”

izuku ignores him and gestures at the deer skull, one that has moss growing by the teeth and around the jaw, turning to inko to ask, “mama? can we bring that home?”

masaru feels very faint, but doesn’t say anything when inko easily agrees, laughing at her boy and patting his untameable hair as if your child asking you for a carcass’s skull is normal.

inko picks it up and they go back to the car. mitsuki does a double-take on what inko’s holding, but shushes up when she saw izuku bouncing happily. katsuki hesitantly sits beside izuku, but when izuku began yammering about all might, he forgets about the skull and nerds out with izuku.

inko explains to mitsuki and masaru about her son’s newfound interest, telling them that it’d go away in two years, don’t worry.

it didn’t. instead, his interest and his collection grew. so for his subsequent birthdays, along with hero merch, he has vulture culture collections gifted to him.

when he moved to the dorms, they’re more packaged than his hero merch and katsuki wants to get angry because he’s been looking for those limited hero merch and yet there they are, chilling beside izuku’s many many skulls and bones.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

IZUKU STARTED COLLECTING THE ALL MIGHT HAWAIIAN SHIRTS WHEN HE WAS TWELVE

he ransacked for the very first edition, often saving his allowance just so he can buy the retro versions of the all might hawaiian shirts. sometimes he’d barter, but that’s only when he’s really desperate for the shirts. usually he’d just be in an auction site and buy just those.

he’d take katsuki with him and katsuki is very careful in what to buy, often researching the things and having a very long pros and cons list to narrow down what he’d buy, then his best bud izuku just out there buying all might hawaiian shirts.

funniest thing too is that those are the first to go because they? don’t value much? and they’re ugly, tbh, and yet izuku’s slurping them all up.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the first time class 1a were talking about plushies, izuku dropped the names and they’re confused because-

“bro did you name your plushies with lovecraft names?” OR “bro? do you perhaps have personalized lovecraft toys?”

it’s the earlier one but izuku would want to buy personalized lovecraft monster toys.

ok but? he names them as per the appropriate lovecraft characters? like:

a purple octopus plushie is called azathoth.

a green gecko plushie is called bokrug.

a fish plushie (literally nemo) is called dagon instead of nemo.

a pink jellyfish plushie is mother of pus.

he has other plushies that have normal names (well, as normal as naming a plushie “cheese grater”), but he has a collection of specific plushies that align with lovecraft beings.

he writes all might x reader fanfictions, i’m sorry ;v;

he only writes them because he doesn’t want other heroes with all might, but also the reader pairing gets more views than all might with other heroes.

katsuki caught him writing a slowburn, enemies to lovers all might x reader fanfic and proceeded to proofread it for him.

synopsis of the fanfiction: reader is a villain with a sound quirk (tailored to present mic’s quirk) and all might met them in a hero gala where the reader pretended to be a worker so that they could infiltrate the gala’s holder’s office for a specific banking access that is linked to the world’s bank. all might manages to sniff them out and proceeds to fight them, but when a beam is about to hit the reader, all might swoops in and saves them. cue the reader developing unwanted feelings for their greatest foe, all might.

aND THEN!!! all might knows the reader outside of their villain persona and is actually very much taken by them. so it’s a painful surprise that the reader is a villain. but he is willing to save them.

it is still incomplete despite having 102 chapters. by chapter 78, katsuki asked for payment because shit was too long and too angsty.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

HEISOSL IZUKU HAS A WORM ON A STRING DOOR CURTAIN

he genuinely likes them but creating the door curtain kind of extinguished that interest because that’s just too much worms and too much strings for a single curtain, and it was very much tiring.

he has a tiny one stitched on his blazer and inko heaved this really big sigh when she saw that her son’s crisp UA uniform got a worm by the chest pocket.

aizawa eyed it once and was so close to expelling izuku just because of that.

shouto, when they became friends, sends a box of them to izuku because he thought that those are izuku’s favourite. katsuki had not stopped cackling when he saw the huge box of them.

to punish katsuki, he made a furby with worm hair and left it by katsuki’s door. katsuki’s scream woke everyone up.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the moment he walked out with a plague mask, tokoyami was exiting his dorm room too and they made a long eye contact.

tokoyami does not know if he is amazed by izuku’s plague mask or he is terrified because why does it look authentic.

for halloween, he was a plague doctor.

he stowed them away after saving eri.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

his first women hero cosplay was in third grade when they had a play about different heroes. the girl who was playing ragdoll got sick and everyone’s already strapped in as their hero and unwilling to change. izuku, himself, is present mic (katsuki’s all might).

the girls don’t want to give up their heroes and izuku, the bestest boy, goes and says he will become ragdoll.

their teacher agrees and helps him strap in as ragdoll and you know what, izuku loves it.

from then on, he tries to cosplay as much women heroes that he can afford. inko loves helping him and katsuki thinks he is adorable but! dont tell deku!!!

OK BUT he wore the dress that broke the internet once and katsuki almost exploded the dress off him. almost because izuku dodged and warned him that if he ever breaks that dress, katsuki will have to pay (either monetary or revenge, katsuki doesn’t know so he behaved).

FOR HALLOWEEN, HE WORE THIS AND KATSUKI HATES IT

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

izuku painting star freckles on his face!!!! or heart freckles!!!! or flowers!!!!

izuku in fairy makeup, pleaseee!

he also loves giving katsuki his own freckles because something about blonde hair and red eyes with pale cheeks kissed by freckles is making izuku gay panic.

izuku putting concealer on his own freckles once and his classmates are looking at him weirdly, wondering why he looks off?

like he still looks amazing, but something’s missing. it’s fucking them up and katsuki isn’t helping them so they’re trying to piece what’s up.

it takes monoma sneering at izuku and asking where his eight freckles are that 1a realizes why he looks different.

ok but denki asking monoma why he knows how much freckles izuku has and monoma spluttering, bright red and embarrassed, until he just walks away.

(answer: he’s crushing on green bean).

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

IZUKU HAVING A COLLECTION OF LIKE ARCHAIC? BREWING? STUFF? BOOKS.

i dont know how to explain it but my friend has this specific book about poisons, detailing recipes and ingredients.

it also talks about the use of frogs, lizards, snakes. the benefits of different flowers (ones with toxins) and how to use them during tea time.

it’s bizarre but the book looks pretty so i think izuku would have a handful of those in his room.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

izuku eating grass? flowers? trying dandelions and complaining that it’s furry

izuku wandering what a twig tastes like so he just sucks on it like a lollipop.

inko gave up on stopping him because her son would just eat anything but his broccolis, and she’s very much tired of thinking if izuku would have an upset stomach. he never had.

first time mitsuki saw izuku do that, she forced him to drink cola and eat candy to cleanse his palette.

katsuki goads him on eating more.

izuku’s favourite is chewing on maple leaves. he’s just a weird boy.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

OK BUT THE FINAL ONE ABOUT HIS ALL MIGHT POSTERS?? I HAVENT STOPPED LAUGHINGF

izuku wanting more all might figurines than posters. he only has some chemistry stuff (periodic table) on his wall, a little tapestry that matches inko’s, a canvas of monet’s water lilies (again, matching inko), and some cosmic facts that he bought online.

and yk katsuki sees those and thinks that it’s so weird that izuku has those posters but not all might?

his first thought was, “he doesn’t like all might as much as i do.”

the following one is, “he’s straight so he doesn’t want a guy’s face on his wall.”

katsuki’s mouth so happens to say the second one and the next week he visited izuku’s room again, each surface of the wall that is not taken by pinned insects and his frog-book stuff, plus his other existing non-hero posters, is covered in just all might posters.

he belatedly realizes that his own face is also on izuku’s wall, but that’s for later musings because for now he’s jealous that izuku managed to scourge the limited all might posters, but also is disgusted a bit because that’s too much all might.

katsuki walks out before his interest in all might plummets.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

ps to my beloved: ﹤୨♡୧﹥

GOBLIN I LOVE YOUR AUS ALL THE TIME AND IM SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE! YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE AND I LOVE U!!!! you’re genuinely so precious pls dont stop your ramblings!!!!

[boldlyvoid]

ain't it fun? | Part five

Summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

Warnings: pregnancy, chronic illness, spencer's career chance - he's a high school teacher now, they have a 1-year-old, smut at the end but not graphic.

word count: 2.8k

a/n: I imagine this is in season 10, so they've been together at least 7 years-ish now, I just jumped well into the future because I wanted to! also, Cordelia's nickname is Edie and pronounced Ee-dee !!

P1 P2 P3 P4

“No.”

Spencer sighs, “are you going to like any of my suggestions?”

“When you give me a baby name that isn’t from some weird old male book character, then yes, I’ll take them into consideration,” she replies, hand on her stomach as she lays back against the pillows.

She was huge, 9 months pregnant and so, so close to the finish line. She was swollen and in pain and exhausted. Going off every single medication and recreational drugs to make a life was a commitment and a half, she was doing well but she was so ready to be done. To do a few more months of breastfeeding and then go back on her medications.

Spencer was terrific. He was googling and asking Penelope to research things, he had called doctors he knows and friends and did everything in his power to find a way to ease her pain even before they got pregnant. He’s taken the last 3 months off of work and he doesn’t know when he’ll go back. He has just been so, so incredible the whole time.

Naming a child was hard. You had to not only think about all the nicknames and what their initials spell, but you also had to think about how they’ll like it; if it’ll fit their personality and spirit. And most of all, is it going to get them bullied? There are some terrible kid names. Like Richard… how do you name a newborn Richard?

“I want something meaningful with a nice nickname and works with our names and her siblings,” she whispered towards him. “They need to all work together.”

“What are some of your favourites?” He asks, moving in closer and finding a way to cuddle in with her and her pregnancy pillow who has all but replaced him lately.

“I like earthy names, like Lennox, Juniper, Aspen, Elowen,” her voice is really soft, she bites her lip at the end as she thinks them over again. “And old things like Cordelia and Winnifred.”

“Which one sounds the best with Reid?”

“I like Cordelia Reid the most, and then we can call her Edie and I was thinking you can pick her middle name?” She’s been thinking about it for a while, but too afraid to know his opinions.

“Cordelia means core in Latin, which makes sense cause she already has my heart,” Spencer teased, he has made it very clear that their little girl is going to be spoiled, loved and a daddy's girl.

He took all his fears of being a bad dad and threw them out the window. He knew that just being there was all he wanted from his dad, and so that’s what he was going to do. He left the BAU for the time being, he was doing the odd lecture at the academy and answering calls for cases. They couldn’t just stop using his brain, there were some things too pressing to not ask the walking computer, but other than that, he was done.

He was looking into other jobs for when he finally decides to go back, he was unsure how long of a paternity leave he wanted. He was really content with just staying home all the time now, but he did miss going out and being useful during the days. The job he was most interested in, however, was a high school teacher.

A prep school in DC is looking into adding an Anthropology, Psychology and Sociology course to their curriculum, and they wanted Spencer. They thought he would be perfect for the seniors, he is fun and young and attentive, he can control a room and keep them entertained, and he’s probably the best teacher a kid could get.

It was going to make him a good dad too.

“I think Jade is a nice middle name,” he adds after thinking it over for a few minutes.

“Cordelia Jade Reid,” she says the full name for the first time and it just feels right, like they already know her.

—

She was very calm for a newborn baby.

She liked to just look around and blink, she licked her lips a lot and she was constantly breaking out of her swaddle. She was always happy to have cuddles with her dad and she pooped every night at exactly at 3 am, without fail. She didn’t cry a lot, but when she did it was still wonderful to hear.

They were so in love with her, she was absolutely perfect for them. She fit right into their sleeping schedule and their life, she ate like a pro, she slept most of the night and she was growing way too fast for their liking.

One day they’re crying over the fact they made a life in a tiny little hospital room, and the next thing they know she’s about to turn 1.

She’s sitting in bed with Y/N, she’s sitting in her lap with two handfuls of hair and a story to tell. She’s been babbling so much lately, she hears them talking all the time and she wants to join so badly. They indulge her, asking her to continue her thoughts and gasping at her gossip.

“No way, and what did you do next?!” She asked the little one sat in her lap.

Edie babbled on once more, smacking her tongue on the roof of her mouth as she pushed air past her vocal cords, humming and making the funniest sounds. She went on and on, she was so enthusiastic, like her father, as she waved her arms around to make her point.

“That is so fascinating, you are so cool, little Edie,” Y/N hyped her up, smiling at her as she leaned in close and pressed their noses together.

Cordelia laughed and it finally made Spencer giggle too, he had been watching from the doorway as his ‘wife’ and daughter talked in bed. They were best friends already, always talking and snuggling, learning or reading together. She was always happy when she was with one of them, she was needy and snuggly and very co-dependent but they didn’t mind, they preferred all the attention from her.

“Look who’s home,” Y/N whispered and Cordelia shot a glance towards the door, she smiled and screamed as she saw him.

“Hi Edie!” He waves at her with a smile, he takes his bag off and places it by the dresser followed by his blazer.

He gets into the bed and she instinctively reaches for a hug. He wraps her up and she snuggles right into his neck, with a fistful of his shirt, she just holds him there. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t home all day anymore, she missed him for lunch and at nap time but she loved the new routine of a snuggle when she woke up and he got home.

Spencer leans back against the pillows beside Y/N, turning his head to capture a kiss from her lips. They always just spend a quick second kissing when he gets home, even if it’s just a peck or a full-on passionate make-out, he always kisses her when he comes home. He smiles at the end of the kiss, pulling her into a hug too.

“I love Fridays,” he whispers, “Edie do you know what Fridays mean?”

She pulls away and sits up, she loves to listen to him. “Friday is the last day of the school week, which means I get to spend 2 whole days with my favourite people now.”

Edie smiled, almost like she understood what he meant, and then she was talking again, it was completely incomprehensible but they imagined she was telling him about her day.

“You forgot the part where we went to the park,” Y/N added.

Cordelia looked at her with wide eyes, “dada,” was the only word she said before babbling on again and they both stopped.

“Did she just?” Spencer was shocked and frozen still after asking.

Y/N sat up and looked right into Cordelia’s eyes, “who is that?” She pointed at Spencer.

“Dada!” She said it again and they were suddenly all squealing, even Cordelia was suddenly excited as she kept screaming dada over and over again.

“Can you say, mom? Or mama? Mummy?” Spencer tried his hardest to find an easy way for her to say it.

“Mumm,” she pushed her lips together to hum her M sound and Spencer was floored, he bounced her up and down a small amount as they cheered.

“Smartest girl in the world!” Spencer cheered her on before pulling her into another hug.

Y/N was crying softly, little tiny dreams that she didn’t even know she had were coming true every single day with them. She knew she wanted to be a mom when she was growing up, all those dreams died when her illness got worse and they all warned her that having kids would put her at risk of being moneyless and that working wasn’t an option to even support them. Let alone the threat of them taking them away just because of her autism or depression possibly being considered ‘too bad’ to care for them.

Spencer took all those fears and he kicked them out. Every day she got to experience the most precious gifts the world had to offer, her daughter was perfect and her husband was incredible. Together they were a perfect little family that ran on trust, love, and communication. Always talking, always hugging, always there for each other.

—

They crawl into bed much later than they expected to. Cordelia didn’t want to go to bed, she was trying her hardest to keep staying awake to spend time with them but eventually, sleep won. They finally placed her in her crib with her white noise and her complete darkness and closed her door for the next few hours of peace.

They both let out a deep sigh before rolling to face one another. “How was your day?” He asks, like always.

“Good,” she smiles, “I think having a kid and getting on her schedule was the best thing I’ve ever done actually, cause I’m sleeping on time, I’m eating when she does and I’m outside a lot more. She’s given me this purpose and it’s rewarding on my body.”

Spencer moves in so he can kiss her nose, “I love hearing that.”

“How was your class today?” She asks back, loving his little stories about all the 17 and 18-year-olds that were fascinated by him. As well as the kids who thought it was cool to try and pick on him before getting the shit verbally kicked out of them in front of the whole class.

It was interesting seeing him in a form of authority, he never really took charge at the BAU, she’s never seen him yell at his friends and he’s never really yelled at her either. He’s been incredibly calm, so to see him verbally tear someone apart by acknowledging their biggest flaws to make sense of why they feel the need to bully, it was pretty intense.

“They were a lot better today, they enjoyed the lesson and the kids that were giving me trouble skipped, I guess he really didn’t appreciate me calling him out that bad on Tuesday,” Spencer smirked, rolling his eyes like he cared.

“I still can’t believe that he thought it was okay to call you names in front of other students, where is the respect these days?”

“Well,” he’s about to do what he always does. He can never be truly mad at someone because he knows why everyone does what they do and that they can’t help it. “In his file, it says his parents are newly divorced, we get a list of all the kids information on the attendance like allergies and things, but also small info like life changes in case they act out.”

“Doesn’t mean he can call you the f slur,” she whispers, “all because you wore a purple shirt?”

“If I met his father I’d probably get an answer for that,” he adds, “if he’s afraid to show his emotions around his son, it’s probably why his son thinks colours are gay.”

It makes her laugh, “you look hot in purple too so I don’t see the problem?”

“Do I?” He teases, getting in even closer and pressing their bodies together.

She rolls her eyes before wrapping her arms around him and leaning forward for a quick kiss, “I think you look sexy all the time.”

He kisses her as a thank you, “I think the same about you.”

“Even when I haven’t showered in 2 days because she cries if she can’t see me and she cries if she gets wet?” Y/N laughed, annoyed but in love with their little monster at the same time.

“Always,” he reminds her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she kisses him again after.

There are probably a million more things to share from the day, but they spend their time kissing instead. It’s been too long since they’ve just rolled around in the sheets making out like they did in the beginning. Before they ever had sex, before they had kids and a house and a love as strong as they do now.

A part of them missed the early days when everything was new and exciting, but she also loved the fact that they knew each other so well that they didn’t have to communicate anymore. They ran like 1 unit, always completing the other person's thoughts, needs and wants. They were so unbelievably happy.

She wants him badly and he wants her just as much, and he’s about to take her when she pulls back. “Nope, as much as I love her I can’t get pregnant again for at least another year.”

It makes him laugh as he pulls away and rolls over to look through his nightstand for a condom, “it wouldn’t be that bad?”

“You carry it then, seahorse it up,” she teased. “I like being back on my medicine, I need some time to be okay before I go through all that again.”

Once he’s all situated in the latex and back between her legs, he hovers over her, so close that their lips are touching ever so slightly. “I am fine if it’s just the three of us forever.”

“I’m not,” she smiles, “there will be 4 of us one day, just not today.”

With that, she’s pulling him into another kiss as he pushing inside. It’s a feeling she’s accustomed to but will never be used to, it’s a stretch that shouldn’t be as intoxicating as it is. She holds him closer as she plays with his tongue in her mouth.

He was so good at everything he did, especially the sex. He knew every single part of her body now and exactly how to push all her buttons the right way. She could live in the moment of his pumping in and out of her while his thumb circled her clit and his other hand groaned her breasts. Eventually, he kissed down her throat and she was a mess of breathy moans and low gasps.

Writing in the sheets, her legs wrap around him as she tried to pull him in even closer. It was impossible to get closer but he was still too far away, she wanted to absorb him and live in him forever. He was her safe place and she never wanted to be anywhere else.

As her orgasm bubbled, so did his. The both of them gasping and panting, she whined as she breached the edge and gripped his back, “Spence!”

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered before fucking into her harder and faster, pushing her through it as he reached his own.

His movements on her clit never stopped and suddenly one felt like two and she wasn’t sure when the rush was going to stop and she didn’t care when it did. It was powerful, soothing and euphoric. A high she could live in for a while and return to it without problem as long as she had him.

He came with a small moan, trying to keep quiet as he muffled it into her neck, stilling his hips on his last thrust and dropping onto her more. Her hands were all over his back as she pressed kisses to his forehead, coming down but not wanting the love to stop there.

The love was never going to stop there for them. Their love was never-ending, and somehow as she held him there in her arms and felt his breath on his neck, she turned to see the baby monitor with their peaceful child sound asleep down the hall, she loved him even more now somehow.

Loving Spencer Reid was like falling down a bottomless pit. She never knew when she was going to reach the end, but she was content with falling.

smut taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[naoyas90dayfiance]

In which reality TV shows could the JJK characters be in?

Warning: this is canon, gege told me.

Characters: all I think

Author's note: this is messy.

Naoya Zenin: 90 day fiance.

• Naoya is reality TV gold.

•He's going to ask his "s/o" to walk three steps behind him on international TV.

•His s/o is an actress he hired because he wanted to be on TV and show how superior the Zenin clan is.

•Appears on every spin off.

•Eventually is the new face of Sister Wives.

Gojo Satoru: Love after Lockup

• In real life this man has been to prison CHANGE MY MIND.

• He spent his teenage years in prison for plotting and succeding on stealing money from big banks worldwide.

• Has been to Alcatraz twice.

• Ofc he got a s/o while being in prison. He put on his photo online and people went WILD.

• When he got out he met up with his s/o, acted all nice, charming and cute.

• Fan favorite because he's so wholesome and people wonder why he is on the show. He seems like a regular or even above average guy.

•In the final episode he disappeared and his s/o got swatted. The reason was that Satoru actually stole info and money from the Pentagon using his s/o's IP address.

• Satoru is on the run, please contact authorities if seen.

Geto Suguru: Love after Lockup

• It's canon basically, but i will explain for u.

• Terrorism. Mass murder. And a DIU for good measure.

• Sentence longer and thicker than his D- hair.

• Alpha male in Alcatraz.

• He's not allowed to leave the prison. You two only exchange letters.

• Add hearts when he signs his letters.

• Man so alpha he sends YOU money.

• You two got married somehow.

• Has a tatto on his lip (that says Satoru).

Fushiguro Toji: Gypsy Sisters

• yes, he's the main star.

• He likes the job. He beats up the crap out of his brothers, his uncles, his little cousins, his servants, other clans and even Satoru when he crossed paths with him.

• If you tune TLC at 2AM on Saturdays you can see the episode where he beats the shit out of Naoya.

• His show gets 12 seasons and it's still on-going.

• Sometimes you can see Megumi in the background chilling with his phone.

• Idk why but he got into a fist fight with Yuuji. Sukuna had to step in. The twins got beaten and sent to the hospital.

Mei Mei: Owner

• Owns TLC.

Shoko Ieri: My Strange Addiction

• She collects Furbies.

• One looks very much like Satoru.

• She's on the FBI Suspect list.

• She might have helped Satoru, idk, i'm not a snitch.

Nanami Kento: Beat Bobby Flay

• The challenge was to make the best sanwhich.

• He didn't beat Bobby Flay.

• Also on FBI Suspect list.

• They think he helped Gojo rob the Pentagon.

• he did.

• shhh.

Fushiguro Megumi: Ghosted

• He ghosted Yuuji.

• But Yuuji wants to know why.

• In the reunion, Megumi tells Yuuji he ghosted him because he was snapchatting him too much

• They ended up together again.

• Barely speaks. Doesn't want to be there. Still think the extra cash is nice but he's now worried he might not get a job because he humillated himself publicly.

Yuuji Itadori: Ninja Warrior.

• He won.

Ryomen Sukuna: Catfish.

• He used Uraume's photos.

• He catfished Ijichi.

• He got money from Ijichi.

• He got gifts from Ijichi.

• He got money from Jogo.

• He got gifts from Jogo.

• Nev and Max first thought it was Hanami who was doing the catfish.

• Never got caught.

Kugasaki Nobara: 90 day fiance.

• She met someone overseas.

• Only interested in tourism and doesn't plan to follow through the 90 days.

• Only there for IG followers.

• She's already dating Maki behind the scenes.

• High key the cutest participant on the show ever

Zenin Maki: Ninja Warrior

• She won c:

Panda: NatGeo's Wild Life.

• I saw him there last week.

Inumaki Toge: The Bachelorette.

• He pranks everybody.

• The lady thinks he's the sweetest and funniest.

• The dudes hate him.

• He doesn't get the final rose.

• He gets a bunch of attention after the show and becomes more famous than the lady.

• fuck her. Now he's rich.

Aoi Todou: My Strange Addiction.

• For collecting way too much of Takada-chan's merch.

• He needed another HOUSE to fix so much sh1t.

Kamo Noritoshi, Choso, Miwa, Momo: an educational channel for kids.

• They have an educational channel together.

• Noritoshi hosts a show teaching about science.

• Choso's show is about values and the importance of family and friendship.

• Miwa has numerous shorts about physical education.

• Momo has a show about crafting.

• Comfort channel c':

Mai Zenin: Married by Mom and Dad.

• They stepped in so Naoya won't take her as a wife xd.

• They married her to a wealthy man overseas.

• Proceeds to become part of Housewives of Beverly Hills.

• Living her best life.

Yoshino Junpei: True Crime Show Host.

• He enjoys to report the weird shit that happened to his bullies afterwards.

• Good for him. Good for him.

Mahito: Investigation Discovery Special

• They made a whole 4 hour documentary about this bitch.

Okkotsu Yuuta: Love after Lockup

•He's dating Rika.

• She was convicting for 10 accounts of first degree murder, vandalism, armed robbery, selling illegal substances, exotic animal trafficking, and car theft.

• He says she's the love of his life.