#had a lot of roadblocks and still do with regularly working on this

[triruntu]

very slowly picking away at something here

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Epilogue

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, afab. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Insecure reader. Smut. Violence referenced but not written.

Part 10

Series Masterlist

You took another look at yourself in the mirror. You were starting to second guess this lingerie you bought on a whim. You’d just felt so confident in the moment, but now you’re wondering if it was actually a good idea. The past few months with Curtis had done wonders for your self-esteem; the fact that you could even look in the mirror this long was proof of that. It seemed like his desire for you would never fade. You weren’t complaining but it still took some getting used to. 

There were a lot of things to get used to these past few months. Understandably impressed with your work Rogers and Barnes had made sure you were given a place in the Family. Officially you were a HR Consultant, complete with the oversized checks. What that translated to was, every time there was a disagreement within the Family, a roadblock in their internal functioning, you were called in. Barnes reasoned that, if you could get Curtis to do things differently, you could get anyone to do so. There were some chuckles at that, mainly from Mace who continued to rib Curtis about “being right”. The guys would sometimes try to talk you into talking to Curtis for them but you promised to only do that if a conversation was warranted. Hal needing upgraded pool cleaning supplies? Sure. Jake needing upgraded computers for the cybercafe so he could own the leader-boards for his games? No.

Ransom was finally released from the hospital a couple weeks ago. Apparently he didn’t give you up right away and ended up with some scars for his trouble. He was absolutely doted on by a few nurses who were fans of his books so he didn’t complain much. Because everything happened at his home he was allowed to come up with the official story for the police. Sheriff Bodecker reported that Ransom was the victim of a small group of super fans; when he tried to turn them away they attacked him and destroyed his home. 

The door to the apartment opened up and you heard Curtis calling for you. You wrap your robe around you, regretting getting the crotchless lingerie, and step out to welcome him. He wraps you up in his strong arms and covers your face in little kisses. 

“Been such a crappy day,” he grumbles. “So glad I get to come home to you.”

You giggle at the affection before breaking the hug, “come on, I’ve got dinner keeping warm. Just need to dish it up.”

“Mmmm. Smells so good.”

“Are you talking about the dinner or me?”

“Yes,” he smiles.

You gently scoff and playfully slap his chest, “just promise you’ll be honest about the food? It’s a new recipe.”

“Always,” he confirms. “May I ask about the robe?”

“Oh,” you falter, “I was…um…I bought myself a little something, but I’m…I’m not so sure…”

“Can I see?”

You gently chew your lip before looking at him and opening your robe. You think you hear Curtis growl as he takes in the visual of you in the skimpy lingerie. 

“Angel, we’re gonna need to delay dinner.”

“But, I-” you’re cut off by Curtis closing the space between you and kissing you, fully removing your robe before letting his hands wander to all of your favorite spots. You moan as he kisses down your jawline, “bed or couch?” 

Curtis pulls away, “right here.” He drops to his knees and lifts one of your legs over his shoulder before attaching his mouth to your pussy. 

You use his strong shoulders to steady yourself as you enjoy his tongue’s expert movements. You look down and see his eyes are beautifully darkened with lust. You’re a little worried about falling but trust Curtis to catch you. Just like with your life, this position is an adjustment, but damn worth it.

Part 10

Series Masterlist

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would. 

@alexakeyloveloki

@bigtreefest

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@late-to-the-party-81

@lokislady82 

@texmexdarling 

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

[itsbenedict]

Alright, so- two months into the year, how much of my ten-item list is done?

Finish the first case of Justice/Arcana and revise the draft

Finish the SakuraPetalFantasy walkthrough portion of Datasouls (not with the whole combat toy situation, just the rest of it)

Do 24 TFJ recaps, two per month

Work through all the exercises in Genki 1 and 2, and catch up on WK reviews.

Date someone. I feel like I look decent and have a lot of desirable qualities that would make this not too hard to accomplish, but I have to put effort into looking or it’s never going to happen on its own. (I am unfortunately of the gender that doesn’t typically get asked out and has to take the initiative.) It’s gonna be tricky since I’m a weird person with weird life priorities and finding someone who’d actually be happy partnering up with that long-term is a tall order.

Actually get that standing desk walk-while-working workflow set up and establish an exercise routine that I keep to for more than half the year

Release a functional version of that Fire Emblem content authoring tool

Replace grody old kitchen sink that has weird white stuff growing out from inside the handle

Finish the games I’m still playing through from this post

Find some new source of income reliable enough to pay the bills without making me work more than 20 hours a week. (I’m a programmer, this is hypothetically doable.) Freelancing/contract work maybe?

One at a time...

I've done a few updates to Justice/Arcana, and have pretty much all the art assets I'll need done. There's a bit of a writing roadblock at the moment but I just need to take some time and work it out.

I did a handful of enemy icons for Datasouls but otherwise didn't work on it

Did four recaps, staying on course

No Japanese practice yet

No dating yet. From what I hear, there are no good dating sites anymore and it's all just swipe-right hookup apps, which are no use to me. I've written a date-me doc but I still need to have some nice pictures taken for it.

I ordered a new under-desk elliptical that you can actually stand on, and it just arrived, but I haven't set it up yet. I've been exercising regularly, though!

Made a bunch of progress on Medallion Works, such that the map editor is now bare-minimum functional.

No sink amelioration yet

Played most of those games- still need to get through The Sekimeiya, though. That one is long and dense.

Contract work for the company I quit has been manageable, but isn't quite paying the bills on its own- I made $3600 in February, which- setting aside probably half of that for taxes and other bullshit expenses- covers mortgage payments and utilities but not food and other purchases. And I'll be doing less and less work for them over time, as they get their environment stood up and running smoothly. That's still going to have to be replaced by real employment of some sort sometime this year, but not a concern just yet.

Overall, January and February were a bit more scattershot than I'd like- January was a whole lot of travel and finishing up stuff at work, and February still had a bit of work getting in the way. Plus I didn't really focus on any one thing, so nothing's fully checked off yet.

March... I think I need to focus on getting J/A's first case done, since it's in the home stretch. That and a couple recaps, and probably dealing with the sink situation if I can.

[hismercytomyjustice]

Omfggg I cannot believe my little BG3 fic is about to hit 70 subscribers!!! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

It is wonderful and terrifying all at the same time haha!!! It’s also weirdly humbling knowing almost 70 people trust me and this story enough to want updates as it’s posted???

Thank fuck I’ve written most of it already because otherwise I would be STRESSING TF OUT.

I crossed the 75k word threshold the other day. The 75k maximum I thought I would probably hit seeing as I’ve never written much over like 50k before and that was only once in the fanfic world and 3x in the “this will likely never see the light of day” original work world haha.

PLEASE TELL ME HOW THE FUCK I STILL FOUR FULL CHAPTERS LEFT TO WRITE.

In the event you clicked to see more, just know you’re about to see a lot of rambling of mental health and writing.

I’m winding down chapter 14 now and chapter 18 is at least 50-75% done after I skipped to it in a panic due to the massive writers block I hit in 13 over hardcore stressing over my characterization of Cazador. Just “he is not being horrible enough, he needs to be more horrible, but not too horrible or this fic will need to be even longer and I’m already wildly out of my word count comfort zone” lol.

So that leaves the tail end of 14 and 18, and then I just have to write 15, 16, and 17.

Oh thank fuck. It’s only three I thought it was four full length ones left. Oh god. This simultaneously brings me relief and anxiety lmaooo.

Oh god.

But this fic is going to have such a special place in my heart because writing it has reminded me THAT I LOVE WRITING.

I’ve barely written in the last decade for a variety of reasons and tbh until I started writing this fic, I was starting to wonder if I really even enjoyed writing and wanted to do it anymore.

Not because I didn’t, but because the level of passion I used to have for it seemed to just be…missing? I kept thinking “it’s so weird how writing used to be such a huge part of my life and now I never seem to be able to do it or want to do it”.

I’ve come to realize in the last month or so, the biggest culprit was my previously semi-diagnosed OCD. Second biggest may have been my definitely undiagnosed ADHD.

Any time I’d try to sit down to plot or draft or anything I would get into OCD spirals and either completely talk myself out of it or get into it for a little bit and then hit a roadblock in the story I couldn’t get past or convince myself what I wrote was awful and no one would ever want to read it because I would get bored writing it so why the hell would anyone want to read it? So then I’d convince myself I needed to read up on the craft of writing to make up for my deficiencies. And the more I learned the more I realized I didn’t know or the more deficiencies I saw and the more I’d get into my own head.

I spent some much time kind of wishing I hadn’t read so many books, went to so many convention panels, listened to so many podcasts about writing, etc. Because any time I looked at a blank page, I couldn’t get out of my own head enough to fucking WRITE.

Just an endless stream of: The first line is super important and has to hook the reader, make sure you start in the middle of the story, your protagonist should have xyz, your villain should have abc, every sentence should do more than one thing, if you don’t regularly make time to write you’re not a real writer, all these other people make time to write and their lives are way busier than yours so what’s wrong with you, you must hate writing otherwise you’d actually do it, you’ll never get anything published because you lack discipline, etc etc etc.

I just desperately wanted to go back to the days where I could just flip open a blank notebook and go to town without giving a shit about what anyone else thought a story had to be and without second guessing every single letter I put on the page.

And then such a weird combo of stars aligned that finally made me remember why I fucking love writing and why I do it in the first place???

Consuming media that makes me passionate about storytelling and reawakens my creative drive.

My friend offhandedly mentioning she writes on her phone sometimes and isn’t a phone kind of like a little notebook you can carry around and whip out whenever? Bonus, you don’t have to retype everything after writing by hand!

Getting officially officially diagnosed with OCD. Third therapist’s is a charm amirite? If I had a nickel for every therapist who told me I was exhibiting signs of OCD I’d have three nickels… I didn’t even go to my current therapist for OCD. My former therapist suggested finding a specialist in exposure therapy to help with an unrelated phobia (I will not go into on here and probably never will because it’s deeply personal) and the specialist I found happens to specialize in OCD because exposure therapy is often used to treat it.

And my current therapist taught me what OCD thought spirals are, how they start up, how they take root, how they get out of control. Suddenly it wasn’t just “oh, I have anxiety so I need to use decision techniques to combat it” it was “ohhh this is therapy designed with my brain in mind and my brain isn’t as weird or scary as I thought.” It’s just wild to spend decades of your life thinking your brain is fucked up and you don’t understand what’s wrong with it so how could anyone but then you get a literal fucking worksheet that maps out an example spiral with a note on it that reads “this you?”.

Specifically, she taught me about Inference-based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (ICBT). If anyone reads this and is curious about ICBT. this article does a pretty good job of explaining it.

It was just wild to look at this piece of paper that was like “oh, no, this is a regular/common enough brain thing that we’ve done research on it and made a fun little worksheet for it” that makes it all feel so weirdly mundane and less scary as a result? Like decades of “I’m scared of my own brain” turned into “your brain isn’t scary, there’s a clear pattern to this kind of thing and lots of people go through it”.

And then I decided to take piano lessons. Because I started writing a POTO AU before I started my BG3 fic and I remembered how much I loved music in the same way. How much I enjoy the violin but struggle to get myself to play now that I’m not part of an ensemble. And that was another thing I haven’t found much joy in lately either.

And my OCD went off the fucking RAILS with that. Because of all my insecurities around being someone who always struggled to practice regularly and realizing how much of a refresher I needed on music in general after so much time away. Leaving lessons wanting to cry because of how fucking stupid an inept I felt and being utterly convinced I was wasting my teacher’s time.

BUT. Because of ICBT and my therapist, I could see I was hardcore OCD spiraling. It marginally helped because at least part of me was like “okay, these feelings aren’t the truth and they are irrational” even as I still struggled to find any actual self-compassion over it all. Because why the fuck is wrong with me it’s piano, I am paying for lessons, I do not have to be perfect. My therapist insisted my only obligation was to just show up for the lessons and SHE IS RIGHT. Like, yeah, it’s great to practice and I want to get better at it, but OCD-ing myself to the point I’m fucking miserable and never practice (much like I did with writing) is not the answer.

Piano made me realize my OCD impacts my day-to-day life in a variety. Not just my 10/10 OCD spirals/fears.

Do I still struggle with how fucking ridiculous getting worked up over voluntarily taking piano lessons made me feel? 10000%. Am I actually enjoying and looking forward to my lessons and actually practicing because I want to instead of feeling paralyzed or over analyzing or avoiding or forcing myself to? Also 10000% true!!! It’s fucking wild how much you can enjoy things you like when your OCD SHUTS THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE GODDAMN SECONDS.

Like obvs I still have a lot of work to do on the OCD front, but I’ve made so much fucking progress over the past few months. It feels like night and day sometimes. If you’d told me like 6 months ago I’d have written 75k on one fanfic in addition more on others, I would have laughed on your face and then doom spiraled about it.

God I have missed actually ENJOYING things. My therapist was not exaggerating when she talked about me having a breakthrough last session about overcompensating and how it negatively has impacted myself and my fledgling self-compassion.

It feels so fucking GOOD.

Navigating OCD and ADHD, especially as a late diagnosed person isn’t easy. I’m still learning so much and also puzzling out what does and doesn’t work for me. But for the first time in such a long time, I feel like I’m actually making progress on those fronts and it is such a fucking relief after borderline hating myself for years now.

This got wildly out of hand, but OH WELL. I’m just so fucking happy and relieved to be seeing some progress for myself that I was starting to worry might never fucking happen.

[turtlemagnum]

a while ago, i was playing ocarina of time on my laptop. couldn't get the emulator to work on my desktop, so that was my only option. then my laptop died. for years and years now, it's hung over my head that i still haven't actually beaten ocarina of time. and now i don't really have a choice in the matter, at least for the immediate future.

i've somewhat recently started consistently working out. i got into a real rhythm of it, and was doing great. and then, life happened and i was suddenly somewhere where i couldn't work out for as long as i was there

i've struggled with my dental hygiene for pretty much all of my life. i didn't get into the habit of brushing my teeth as a kid, and now i'm paying the price. for the past while now, i've actually gotten pretty good about regularly brushing my teeth; usually at least once a day. then, around the same time that life started happening, i had a cut or abrasion or something in my mouth that made it hard to not just brush my teeth, but even eating and drinking.

it feels like, at times, that the universe just doesn't want me to better myself. i try to do something beneficial to me, my health, my abilities, and i'm suddenly given a goddamn roadblock that makes me unable to do something, at least for a little while. obviously, i can't let this stand; i've gotten back to brushing my teeth regularly and i'm just starting to get back into the swing of things with my working out. i can't do a goddamn thing about ocarina of time, but i guess that's just how it's gotta be for now. it feels like everything wants me to give up, like the sky itself is holding me down, but i can't. i've let it happen too many times. i've gotten better than before, i'm currently getting better now, and i'm going to get better in the future. if the universe wants to really stop me, it's gonna have to kill me first

i've failed a lot, in the past. but, maybe nietzsche was right when he said that man is a creature which must overcome itself. this hasn't been easy, but maybe it'd've be harder to overcome myself if i wasn't so shit in the past.

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam, sorry if this is something you’ve already posted about, but I was wondering if you have any recommendations or references for adult ADHD cookbooks? Whenever I go looking for ADHD kitchen resources it’s either the same sort of listicles on what foods to eat if you have ADHD (lots of protein I either already eat or can’t stand the thought of putting in my mouth) or it’s resources aimed at parents of ADHD children (which at the tender age of 25, I am neither a child nor the parent of one). I’m trying to get into the habit of cooking regularly outside of my meal kit subscription, but I’m struggling to figure out places to start. I’ve flipped through my collection of cookbooks and while that gives me an idea of what I could make, it doesn’t help me deal with my executive dysfunction or any other roadblocks. Feel free to not answer if you don’t have spoons and thanks for any help.

I'm afraid I don't -- I mean remember, I've done a lot of research and lived a lot of life but I have only had a diagnosis since April, so I'm still learning. And honestly I am super lucky in that I had a really thorough grounding in basic cooking skills. My mother taught me a lot as a child, and I learned a lot more from Good Eats and similar food-sciencey shows (I know we have mixed feelings about Alton Brown these days but Good Eats was a truly great show for basic skills, even if some of the knowledge is now a bit dated).

So I have a lot of intuitive cooking skills that help me evaluate recipes, and sometimes depart from them. I can pretty much make a roast chicken dinner without guidance, for example, simply because I know how food like that comes together. But I don't think there's a cookbook in the world that can teach you how to get your shit together enough to cook the meal you bought all the ingredients for if you're having a bad executive function day. (My way around that is to always have staples on hand and just know dishes that work with those staples; I also cook a lot of dishes that begin with ingredients that can be frozen.)

I do own some cookbooks, but mostly I go online and search for the simplest possible version of any given recipe, with ingredients I either have on hand or can procure easily. If I want to get fancy that's fine, but that's like an art project, there's prep involved and it's not something I do every day. Starting with the simplest, most stripped-down version of something helps me to figure out what I want from the dish before I complicate matters any.

I think you do have a great start with meal kits -- I don't like them for personal reasons (generally any kit offered contains about 1/3 things I don't want to eat) but they're great for people who are struggling to cook for themselves or wanting to learn culinary technique.

What may be more helpful for you is to identify what the significant issues you face, in terms of food, actually are. ADHD is a big umbrella, but for example are you struggling more with getting up the energy to cook, or with not knowing what to do with leftovers, or with getting lost within a recipe, or with not having motivation to eat as healthfully as you'd like? Because those are all issues, but they have different solutions, most of which will not come out of a cookbook. There could be others I haven't thought of too! Once you've identified the subproblem underneath "I'd like to cook but have ADHD", it may get easier to find what you're looking for outside of the traditional Guides To Doing The Thing With ADHD, which yes are often aimed at children or neurotypical parents. I suspect as grownups we are going to have to improvise :D

Also, the post following this one will have a few tips for cooking with ADHD and some discussion of it by me and others so stay tuned!

[redrobin-detective]

Ben 10 lore that exists in my heart regardless of canon

- Ben’s personality in his mid-late teens is a mix of his Alien Force and Omniverse self. On the surface, he’s very cheerful and kind even if he is a bit of arrogant showoff. He makes jokes and plays around and acts as if he isn’t bothered by the things in his life. Those who know him best understand a good portion of his outward confidence and cockiness is just a facade to cover up his insecurities and to project the ideal, effortless hero. While sometimes seen as immature, most beings know Ben 10 means business as he takes his unofficial job and people’s safety very seriously. He’s clever, adaptable, charismatic and empathetic which makes him a formidable opponent and a loyal friend. Doesn’t open up easily but if you get to him, he become so dearly attached. 

- Drinks smoothies so much for several reasons. Comfort food go brrr, reminds him of the good easy times with him Gwen and Kev. It’s also a light but generally nutritous food to give him energy for heroing. Anything too heavy and he’ll be puking (both from physical and emotional stress). Though he jokes about his mom’s health foods, his are a crazy concoction of add in proteins and vitamins/minerals bc he knows he’ll out and out collapse without it. (Still has on occasion bc boy still doesn’t eat right/enough)

- While Fame is exciting for him at first he soon begins to detest it. Not the fans, no, he can’t bring himself to hate the people who look up to him. But he hates the constant attention, that he can’t walk outside without being mobbed. the only place he feels safe is his hometown where most people are so used to him and his weirdness that they don’t react much anymore. Takes to wearing a cape and face shield when going out anywhere so he can actually get things done without being recognized and mobbed.

- Part of the reason Bellwood isn’t concerned with Ben is partially because ben’s been weird and alien for as long as they can remember but also many don’t realize how famous/powerful he is. Yeah that’s just Ben Tennyson over there, sometimes he turns into funny creatures- wait what do you MEAN he’s the savior of the universe?? He cried over a spilled smoothie the other day.

- Does mostly online schooling by the time he’s 15. At first he tries to do half day things to maintain something of a normal life but it quickly becomes overwhelming and dangerous him/the school. Finishes his GED early but the Plumbers and Azmuth make him take additional college level and alien courses to prepare him for his future role. Ben gripes but really does love learning all these things, especially on his terms (ADHD and stress + the public school system do not always go hand in hand). He’s a quick learner when he deems the information important and is made accessible to his learning needs.

- Ben definitely has ADHD speaking of which, it was nearly uncontrollable as a child bc his free-spirited parents didn’t believe in medicating. Ben convinced them he needed it and after some trial and error, found meds that worked. As he became more involved in heroics/growing up he had to change his medicine regimen (resulting in him being a bit more off the rails in OV) and needed antidepressants and therapy to manage it better. As an adult he has a whole litany of coping mechanisms (good and bad yes) and regularly checks in with his therapist and doctors to keep things under control. 

- Has a complicated relationship with his necrofriggian children. Considers himself their mother and worries after them. They too feel a connection to their parent despite this being unusual for their species. A few visit (some more than others) while they grow while others maintain distance. Ben never breathes a word of them to the media for fear of them being targeted. Still he keeps an eye on them and ensures all 14 mature to adulthood (another rarity for the species). Checks in every now and again with the ones who don’t want to see him and those that do. Two join the Plumbers and Ben is both proud and worried. His youngest becomes partners with Rook Ben.

- Just in general loves kids, they’re his favorite fans and while he’ll grumble at pushy adult fans he always smiles and kneels down for the little ones. Not so secretly wanted to have children of his own but knew it was a risk overall and used a lot of that energy with mentoring and teaching. Eventually had Kenny later in life (late 30s-40s) and was over the moon, becoming such a loving and doing parent or as much as he could be with his hectic schedule. 

- Omnitrix can’t come off, never has at any point since it first latched onto Ben’s arm. Azmuth tried and failed to get the device off, doesn’t let Ben know for many years as he feared the consequences. The watch loves and protects Ben even beyond it’s programming making him much more durable to damage and releasing energy charges when he’s threatened. Not even removing Ben’s arm would separate them. They’re stuck for life.

- Ben does have Anodite heritage but the Omnitrix actively suppresses it and uses the built up energy to power the transformations which is why ben is mostly unaffected by what should cause a massive energy drain on him. Theoretically if Ben learned to harness and safely use his Mana at an early age like Gwen he would have been fine but letting it build up without safe outlet meant activation would have killed him. Omnitrix Ben, however, went his whole life not knowing of his latent abilities and how the watch saved his life.

- Ben’s eyes get more green and glowy as time passes from the Omnitrix. At first they think its a trick of the light but by the time he’s an adult his eyes are pretty much glow in the dark. His veins light up too after long stretches of using the Omnitrix. Its vaguely unsettling to people who aren’t used to Ben.

- Max and the Earth Plumbers work so, so hard to keep teen Ben on Earth when half the universe is blowing up their comm lines asking for The Ben 10 to help with whatever problem of the day. Ben himself doesn’t quite understand when he’s younger the prestige and expectations on his shoulders. Max throws up a million and one roadblocks so Ben can live as normal a life as possible while he still can. Still, while doing that he Still overloads Ben with expectations and responsibilities on earth and beyond. He becomes a soldier again with Ben as their greatest weapon. He never forgave himself of losing sight of his grandson underneath the hero esp after Ben’s breakdown. 

- Rook partnership with Ben ends not long after Omniverse with his promotion to Magister. Ben tries to play it cool but the thought of another loved one/teammate leaving his tears him apart. Max revealing that Ben most likely wouldn’t get a new Plumber assigned partner since he’s almost an adult and won’t need it and Rook accidentally missing their last smoothie run due to a scheduling mishap causes Ben to snap and have the nervous breakdown that had been building for almost a decade. He completely loses it for a little while and needs to take an extended leave of absence from school and heroics that lasts about a year. Spends time recovering both on Earth and Galvan Prime, does some diplomatic training, learns about aliens, actually confronts the stress and loneliness of his life. He comes out the other side stronger but still fragile and exhausted.

- Ben’s above mentioned breakdown brings him closer to all his friends who didn’t quite realize the extent of Ben’s burden. Rook had been under the impression Ben didn’t like him all that much so the knowledge that his departure was the final straw for friend/hero’s collapse was shocking. Ben and Azmuth also become closer, the Galvan becoming fiercely protective of the boy seeing as his Earth family didn’t do well to keep him safe. It takes years for him to get over his anger at Max for putting so much on his grandchild. Ben makes more friends, in and out of the hero business, finally gets a therapist and gets some of his burdens eased a bit. It’s not a sure fire fix and Ben has several smaller breakdowns the rest of his life but its something.

- Azmuth was straight up suicidal before he met Ben for the first time. Ben gave him back hope for the universe and his ability to create items for peace not weapons. The boy infuriates him, frightens him, frustrates him but Azmuth cannot deny in his heart of hearts that he loves Ben dearly. He’s very upset at Ben’s breakdown and doesn’t know how to handle the worst of the initail outbursts. Azmuth talks Ben down from a suicide attempt. He reaches out to Ben that he Too felt overwhelmed by pressure, thought himself only good for war. Ben’s arrival in his life saved him and now he will do the same for Ben. It’s the first positive step forward in Ben’s recovery.

- For no other reason than I like it, Azmuth primarily refers to Ben as Benjamin (mostly to annoy the kid but he likes the way it sounds too) and Ben in softer, more serious moments. 

- Professor Paradox continues to flit in and out of Ben’s life. He says its because Ben is the most equipped to handle universal peril (true) but he’s also just very fond of the boy. Ben, existing in so many forms and having such importance also exists a beat outside of normal reality which Paradox identifies with. Ben is naturally attuned to time related problems because of this (instantly IDing Spanner as from the future before being told later deducing him to be his unborn son). Plus Ben named him, way back when. He’s just drawn to Ben.

- Adult Ben, while being seen as an impressively skilled fighter and champion, really has his strength as a universal diplomat of sorts. Based out of Earth, he helps mediate and defuse conflicts, advocate against tyranny and overall preserve peace and balance. He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes and sometimes is forced to become violent (and yes kill) but overall is regarded as a peacekeeper, something younger ben simply couldn’t understand. 

- Gwen gets her degree and primarily does work with advocacy and teaching about magic/alien culture. While she and Ben are still close, there’s a bit of a frustrated divide in that she isn’t helping him share the burden of the universe. Gwen never wanted to be a hero and has enough worth to not shackle herself to a job that’ll burn her out. Ben loves heroing but gives too much of himself away trying to fix everything. They get into screaming arguments that it wouldn’t be so bad out there if she just helped him but she refuses to budge and says he shouldn’t make himself do so much. They always make up and thy still are each other’s closest relationships.

- Ben marries Kai in a political move, Kai is Asexual and Ben Aromantic. They didn’t love each other but they got on well enough and Ben was really feeling the stress of carrying the hero burden so Kai also being involved made him feel like he wasn’t alone. Both were also so tired of the universe constantly asking about their love life and said ‘fuck it we’re married leave us alone’. Gwen was always mad about it feeling Ben deserved better but the two of them were happy with it. They had separate rooms, mostly separate lives but they became strong friends and supports with their strictly platonic marriage. They had Ken via Invitro in an incubator and were loving if extremely busy parents. 

- Also from the moment he appeared, Ben knew that Spanner was his future son, Kenny. He played ignorant and then was kind of deliberately teasing him in future encounters. He knew the rules of time and didn’t want to disrupt things further even if he was angry and worried as heck about why Ken felt the need to time travel. When future Ben catches up in the timeline, Kenny gets SUCH a lecture. 

- Ben isn’t quite immortal but he’s also not entirely human anymore either. The Omnitrix not only keeps him safe from most harm but it lightens the effect of aging. Ben 10 is active many, many years when most humans would have been forced to retire. He’s not sure how long the watch will keep him alive and it terrifies him. Gwen too is functionally immortal however she ages like a normal human, then when her natural death came, shed her skin and became a fulltime Anodite. So in the end, it was her and Ben together wondering which of them will die first. Gwen has trouble retaining her humanity as pure energy and swears she’ll let herself fizzle out when Ben goes. When that’ll be however...

[abyranss]

Not sure if you still do this but in your "Immortal Nezuko" AU, how would she feel about the mid to late 20th and 21st centuries?

Undying Nezuko is absolutely still on my mind, I just don't have a lot of concrete ideas for it that I can illustrate at the moment and I don't think I'm much of a writer. Asks like this help a lot though.

So: Mid to late 20th and 21st centuries... let's see,

To take it back in the timeline a little bit, one thought I've been toying with is the idea that she doesn't tell anyone that she's still a demon. Like, she arrives at the Muzan vs. Demon Slayers battlefield to burn his cells out of her brother and then realises that in resisting the cure long enough to get there, she's completely nullified it (I wonder if this also means she's unkillable by wisteria poison...)

She's more cognizant at this point from the partial transformation back to human bring her memories to the surface and initially, she thinks that Shinobu or Tamayo can just make her another cure but they're both dead. Being more cognizant Nezuko realises that she doesn't want Tanjirou spending his life to find her a cure. Her brother's lifespan is finite and with the deaths of the rest of her family, she at least wants him to live a happy life.

So she can pretend. Her memories are back and she has a good handle on her transformative abilities so she can hide demon traits and mimic the process of growing up. If she can't make her fangs disappear she can claim they're just vestigial.

I'm thinking she'd still be cautious about the potential of her losing control so she'd confess the truth to someone. Yushiro is one person because he's also a demon and one of the most likely people still alive to be able to replicate the cure but he wouldn't be able to do anything if she lost control. I like the idea of a friendship between Sanemi and Nezuko so I'll say that she tells him too.

Sanemi has previously shown that he's willing to kill her, and they're friendly with each other after the interaction they had at the end of the series so she trusts him to keep her secret and trusts that he won't hold back if something goes wrong. He's also the strongest slayer alive at that point, isn't he? I doubt he's happy about it at first but she's doing it for her brother's happiness. Nezuko has infinite time to find herself a cure, but only so much time to spend with him. Sanemi and her probably visit each other regularly from that point to keep on top of things and I like to imagine they become friends.

So Yushiro knows and Sanemi knows.

After the last of the people she knew in life pass on and it's just Nezuko, Yushiro, Chachamaru, and I guess Kiriya Ubuyashiki lives for some time too, then she dives wholly into finding a cure with Yushiro. They'd been doing it on the side already but now it has their full focus. Yushiro has Shinobu and Tamayo's research to start with but with no other demons left it's all secondhand knowledge. Nezuko's resistance to wisteria also creating a roadblock.

They spend a lot of time working on that. I imagine they interact with the rest of humanity somewhat but not enough to feel like they're really a part of it. Time goes on without them.

Of the two of them, Yushiro loses confidence in their search first. He can die by wisteria or sunlight so it's less personal and as much as he wants to help her they can't do this forever. He doesn't give up, but he does go on to do other things and medicine stops being his main focus.

For Nezuko her family is what's most important to her and this curse is keeping her from ever being with them again. If she can't find something then she's just going to stay the same forever.

Eventually, she does go on to other things. It was a hard time when this was all she did, never finding results, and Yushiro I imagine, as her only companion likely convinced her to focus on other things. If she's going to live forever then she can't let it be miserable.

They track down and reconnect with Kiriya at some point and when Nezuko has the idea to track down Tanjirou's descendants for a sense of connection Kiriya is probably the one to point her in the right direction.

I don't know yet how much she interacts with her family or if she just appears at their new year celebrations. Maybe Sumihiko reaches out to her when he keeps seeing her all alone at those and she's understandably freaked out by his resemblance to Tanjirou.

Thinking about her phoning Yushiro like "You're not going to believe who I met today!" and I wonder if touch screens would work with demons or if she's stuck with a flip phone because newer models don't detect her fingers.

When Nezuko reemerged in society proper and decided to stay she probably had to come up with a variety of identities to account for how long she lives. A line of Nezukos all named after their mothers, Nezuko. Or maybe she comes up with new names every time she has to make the switch.

She's probably been to university many times over to get the most up to date qualifications. A lot in medicine to aid in her search but probably other things for her own happiness. Canon Nezuko did sewing, right? I wonder if that's a thing she enjoyed or if it was mostly out of obligation.

So, that was long but I have many thoughts. Summary on the parts relevant to your ask: 20th to 21st century Nezuko has a semi-distant relationship with her brother's descendants. She stays in touch with Yushiro and Kiriya and she's building her way back up to living her life in a way that isn't one hundred percent cure-search.

[amariemelody]

Y’know, seeing Baby Yoda able to eat with a spoon got me thinking about a whole new angle on Din removing his helmet...

Baby Yoda is, well...a baby, possibly specifically a toddler (he, well...toddles!). And Season 1 showed us that as far as motor skills to feed himself, he’s able to sip soup out of a regular cup; reach for, hold down, and bring frogs to his mouth; and bring the silver lever ball (which isn’t food, but still) to his mouth as well.

Next in Season 2, we see Baby Yoda have the motor skills to reach into Mrs. Frog Lady’s egg canister (?), grasp an egg (which had to at least be slippery if not just plain wet), lean back from the canister, and pop it into his mouth. He’s also opened up a spider egg and...yeah. That.

And now we have Season 2, Chapter 11 showing us that Baby Yoda seems to be able to feed himself with a spoon-an eating utensil that, I think, requires more motor skill from a toddler.

So if he has the motor skills to feed himself via an eating utensil...then that means Din hardly has to actually feed Baby Yoda himself at all, outside of procuring and/or preparing the food.

So then if Din learns to be comfortable removing his helmet...he could conceivably eat with his son. At least in the privacy of the Razor Crest.

I thought of this bc one thing that struck me in Season 1 is that it seems that Din goes hours without eating. He doesn’t eat even when other people eat around and/or with him (i.e, buying the soup for Cara Dune, the campfire meal with Greef Karga and the other bounty hunters, etc.).

I realize this is part of why Chapter 4 is one of my favorites-Omera and possibly some of the other villagers seem to make sure Din eats regularly with very few hours in-between. Sorgan feels comfortable in part bc there appears to be an abundance of food in and around the village, and Din likely doesn’t have to wait so long to have access to privacy to consume said food.

And on a side note, I’m not saying Din usually waiting hours to eat implies that man doesn’t eat and surely eat as well as he can. Lord knows he’s got muscle mass to keep up; re-hydration for all the water he loses thru sweat (even if the armor may have a cooling system); brain function for that cunning strategizing; and general weight and good health to do the work that he does.

Mandalorian training and pure grit are both awesome, but you also need food.

But...he doesn’t eat with others. Not even is own son, if we go with the assumption that he’s yet to remove his helmet in front of Baby Yoda.

Baby Yoda’s motor skill with the spoon stood out to me bc that eliminates another possible roadblock to Din eating with him besides his helmet-that is, he doesn’t have to worry about hand-feeding his son before he feeds himself. I know a lot of parents with very young infants all but instinctively feed their children before they even think to sit down to their own meal. And Din certainly has such instinctual parental feelings for his own son.

But he doesn’t have to hand-feed Baby Yoda and now we’re at a point in Season 2 where it’s been introduced to Din that he can remove his helmet and still be Mandalorian.

He could eat with his son.

There’s a lot of good words written about how the communal sense of eating with others is good for bonding, socialization, emotional and mental health, etc. I’m not diagnosing Din as inherently unhealthy in those areas, but he’s given up the benefit of that communal sense for about 20-30 years now.

I’d love to see him re-learn it with Baby Yoda. Possibly allowing himself to make an exception for his ad’ika for the practical (to him) purpose of eating. And you can’t tell me Baby Yoda wouldn’t absolutely love it:

Daddy has another face! And it has a mouth! So that’s where his voice comes from!! I’m gonna pat his mouth every time he talks bc it’s so cool!! (Cue Din being unable to stop smiling when he does that and pressing little kisses to Baby Yoda’s little palms...) 

Daddy puts food in his mouth just like I do! I’m gonna start feeding him, too! Sharing my food is nice! (Cue Din not having the heart to say “no”.)

Just like me, sometimes Daddy has to burp when we’re eating! He says “excuse me” after, but it’s just a funny sound to me!

But unlike me, Daddy usually chews his food instead of swallowing it whole. Maybe he needs me to tear it up into smaller pieces...hmm, no. He still chews...smaller, then...

There’s so much potential of cuteness, sweetness...the whole nine yards. So much extra bonding between father and son.

[askagamedev]

What does a senior position in the industry do (like a senior producer)?

The seniority of a position in general (not just in the gaming industry) is the amount of responsibility you can shoulder. Generally speaking, the more senior you are, the more of the development process you’ve internalized and already know about in order to make sure that everything proceeds smoothly. 

Junior developers can do smaller-scale tasks with supervision and hand-holding. They don’t understand enough about the different parts of the process and how they interact with each other to act autonomously (often because they’ve never had to deal with them before), so they need somebody to mentor them and give them direction. A junior producer is often someone who’s tracking the development of a small feature or system (usually involving a small strike team of one or two of each discipline - designer, programmer, etc.), often under the direct supervision of a more senior producer. They will take notes at all of the meetings, regularly talk with the developers involved, and facilitate communications when developers get blocked. Most of the time they’ll defer to their mentor when it comes to making decisions, but they will be asked for their opinions on the features they’re responsible for.

Mid-level developers are fairly autonomous and generally operate on their own for the most part. You really only need to check in with them every now and again to make sure that they’re working towards the right goals. A mid-level producer is often entrusted with most of the decisions regarding the features or systems they are responsible for. These systems or features are usually larger than those junior producers are responsible for. A mid-level producer may have to manage larger teams of developers and may or may not also occasionally mentor junior producers as well. Bigger issues that extend beyond the boundaries of the mid-level producer’s responsibilities are still reported to senior producers. The mid-level producer generally defers to the seniors on any decisions that decide the direction of multiple large systems or features.

Senior developers are fully autonomous and require minimal direction. They are the ones who can build the bones and structure of the game, oftentimes by themselves. They can be slotted in almost anywhere and make things work quickly. However, the biggest benefit of Senior developers is functioning as force multipliers for the other developers because of the depth of their knowledge and experience. They are not only capable of doing everything, but their versatility lets them jump in and show less-experienced developers how and where to improve. Since they can operate and manage development autonomously, a senior producer is often tasked with overseeing core systems or multiple interconnected features, the sort of features that make the game what it is. A senior producer often makes decisions about the scope of the systems they are responsible for - cutting this, expanding that, and so on. They naturally confer with their leads on big decisions, but the executive producer usually defers to and trusts the senior producer to make the right decisions.

A lead developer is responsible for their assigned subordinates - assigning them tasks that they can do, making sure that they are learning and growing according to how they want their careers to evolve, keeping everyone on track towards the project’s goals, and so on. There’s a lot of crossover with the senior developer responsibilities because a lead absolutely needs a deep understanding of how things fit together in order to assign tasks that are doable by the appropriate mid-level or junior developers on the team. The lead’s main role isn’t to get a lot of work done by herself, however - it’s choosing the right tasks for her subordinates and making sure that they are completing their tasks (while jumping in every now and then to clear any roadblocks and/or fix major system issues).

At the top of the heap is the executive producer, who is the one ultimately responsible for the entire game. This person is the entire team’s leader and has the final say in everything within the game itself. The executive producer is who the lead designer, programmer, artist, etc. answer to in addition to the other producers. The executive producer answers to the studio head and the publishing executives. The executive producer is generally unable to do everything herself due to constraints of time and expertise, so she treats the leads as her trusted counsel when making decisions. She is the president and the team leads serve as her cabinet and department heads.

For further reading on the topic, last year I asked my twitter sphere about what junior, mid-level, and senior means in various game development disciplines. [Click here] for a post summarizing the responses I got.

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[theredhairedmonkey]

Why does Callum end up using Dark Magic? Was it to save the dragon or save Rayla?

He does Dark Magic to save both the dragon and Rayla in equal measure, with the added bonus that he also does it to shore up his own insecurities.

I’m a sucker for plotlines where a morally upright character does something ethically wrong, and as you can imagine, I think there’s a lot to unpack in this one decision. So, let’s dive into each of these reasons.

1. For the dragon

Once Rayla connects saving the dragon to the “cycle of violence” speech he gave her in S1, Callum agrees with her.

Callum: “You’re right. If we’re really going to change things, we can’t just watch while humans and Xadia keep hurting each other.”

Rayla tells him that, to break the cycle someone has to take a stand. Once he sees the connection between what he told her and what she’s telling him now, he agrees that leaving the dragon behind is wrong.

Callum has always been the kind of character who prioritizes doing the right thing. Rayla noticed that right away:

Rayla: “When we met, he could have had me captured or killed. But he didn’t, because without knowing me or anything about me, he saw past human hatred and did what he knew was right.”

Even before meeting Rayla in 1x02, Callum argues with his stepfather about the coming assassins.

When Harrow describes how there have been wrongs and crimes done on both sides, and that Harrow is responsible for terrible things, Callum doesn’t try to disagree. He doesn’t attempt to justify his stepfather’s actions or try to remain loyal to his side of the conflict. Instead, he says:

This scene helps highlight Callum’s naivete (“You’re the king, you can do anything”) but also his good-naturedness. He’s not taking sides in the conflict or dismisses the hurt that his own kingdom (heck, his own family) had caused Xadia. He understands that some of the people in his life, the ones he cares about the most, have wronged the side sending assassins to kill Harrow. A wrong had been committed, and Callum wants to set it right.

Indeed, after discovering the egg, Callum let what he hoped was the right thing guide his actions. He chained up Claudia to prevent her from attacking Rayla. Callum then confronted Runaan, letting him train an arrow at his head as he had Ez show him the egg.

He then confronted and even threatened Viren, putting himself in the crosshairs of yet another powerful figure (someone Amaya believes “may be the most dangerous human in the world”) while trying set things right.

He risks great personal injury (and perhaps worse!) in doing the right thing.

When all else fails, he’s the one who proposes the group take the egg to Xadia themselves, leaving behind their homes, family, and friends to set things right themselves.

Callum: “It’s up to us now. We have to return this egg. We have to keep it safe and carry it to Xadia.”

And when he needs to, he sacrifices his newfound power to save the Dragon Prince.

All of this helps lay out how Callum prioritizes doing the right thing over almost everything, even what was, at the time, his only source of self-worth. As Rayla says:

“He sacrificed everything so Azymondias could be born.” 

When Rayla helps him realize why saving the dragon was the right thing to do, it frustrated him to no end that he felt he couldn’t help, even before knowing Rayla was going down there regardless.

But once he realizes that there is a way he can help.

He immediately bolts for the dragon. After taking Claudia’s spellbook, he looks through it to find the spell that would set dragon free, and then does it.

Callum does the right thing…despite knowing that the way he did it was wrong. And it’s precisely this motivation that Dark!Callum exploits to tempt him to continue using Dark Magic:

Dark!Callum: “You can have unlimited power, and you can choose what to do with that power. You can make a real difference in the world. All you need to do now is accept it.”

And it’s not until Dark!Callum says this that Callum is even remotely tempted.

And once he is tempted, it takes quite an epiphany for him to shake that temptation.

2. For Rayla

@raayllum lays out here how much concern Callum has about Rayla in this scene. But, it can be summed up with this line:

Rayla: “If I don’t come back, you and Ezran can get Zym to Xadia. I believe in you”

In general, Callum will go to extreme lengths to protect those he cares about. He wants to join the expedition against the incredibly dangerous assassins to protect his stepfather. Callum wants to dive after Ezran in freezing cold water, or will pretend to be him to throw an assassin off his trail. He’ll leap off a cliff and master a rare ability on the way down to save the love of his life.

In 2x07, when Callum hears Rayla say, “If I don’t come back,” he’s sent into a panic. He’s lost almost everyone he cares about in his life, and Callum is faced with the very real possibility that he’ll lose her too.

For this and other reasons (more on that below), we see him drawing Rayla. To give himself comfort that she will come back, but also upset that she may not.

So, it’s no wonder, knowing what we know about Callum, that he’s willing to take extreme measures to protect/save her too.

But that still leaves one final reason why he casts that Dark Magic spell…

3. For himself

Callum is his own harshest critic—while he has a good grasp on what the right thing to do is, he regularly questions his ability to do anything at all.

And these doubts are severe, enough to paralyze him or send him off the rails several times.

When he’s prevented from joining Soren’s mission to protect Harrow, Callum blows up at Ezran.

When he drives Rayla away and feels he is unable to save her from her own guilt, he gets angry at himself.

And here too, while Rayla goes off to save the dragon and Callum has been benched, he’s left fuming until breaking his charcoal pen sets him off.

Callum is not the kind of person who gets easily angered, but when he does, it’s almost always because he thinks he’s too helpless to change anything.

His drawings of Rayla help highlight something else besides how much he’s grown to care about her—he has her posing heroically as she leaps into danger because, deep down, Callum wishes he could be that heroic too.

It’s for this reason that he’s so hard on himself. Callum is a capable guy; his artistic talents and photographic memory are amazing. He’s able to improvise and plan rather well, is a good listener, and has an emotional maturity that surpasses many adults.

But in Callum’s mind, none of these things really matter because it wouldn’t help him, in his words:

“Be the heroes who stop all the fighting and save the day.”

As a result, he has a very skewed perception of himself—someone who is utterly useless, who isn’t brave or strong enough to make a difference.

In many ways, this reason is an extension of the first one—Callum is insecure because he knows what the right thing to do is, he just feels he’s too inadequate to do that.

And that pushed him to try Dark Magic. Without a Primal Stone or an Arcanum, Dark Magic was the easy way around all these roadblocks—it lets him do something he was great at (magic) without having to work at (and potentially failing toward) connecting to the Sky Primal.

Dark Magic makes him feel powerful. It makes him feel useful. It makes him feel like he can be a hero.

But it also feels wrong.

So, all three of these motivations are at play here—Callum’s desire to do the right thing, his desire to save Rayla, and his desire to be useful (which in a way is an extension of the first desire).

If you wanted to pick out one of these motivations as the primary reason, it would have to be Callum’s desire to do the right thing (i.e. “to make a real difference in the world.”). Callum is a good-natured kid; he really wants to make things right, and the gap between what he wants to do and what he thinks he can do is where his insecurities come from.

Callum is not tempted to try Dark Magic before because he understands, at least in theory, that it’s wrong. But the above reasons create a moment of weakness where he gives in and decides to use it.

But thankfully, there’s hope that the same thing that turned Callum to use Dark Magic is the same thing that would push him away from it. According to an interview here, Aaron Ehasz says the following about this moment:

“I think that, sometimes, the hero goes into the abyss before they can come out of it. I think he explored something dark, explored something that maybe he wouldn’t feel good about, but he may understand more clearly what he does now and what he’s accomplished having experienced the depths of a different kind of choice. So, I think it’s more about his character and the range of understanding he has. I do think you can’t mess with something like that and not have it stick with you. There’s something about it that will stay with him.”

My takeaway from these lines is that Callum, having tried Dark Magic once, realizes now better than most people why it’s so wrong. Much like how in other great stories (think Luke Skywalker using the Dark Side against Vader), Callum succumbs to his worst impulses and makes a devastating, almost fatal, decision.

But in crossing the line, he comes out the other side knowing just what his worst impulses are. He learns from his mistake, accepts that what he did was wrong, and grows beyond it. He now knows full well where he stands and knowing where he’ll go from here.

Callum: “Destiny is a book you write yourself!”

[campfiretechnology]

Start Writing Strategically

It is no secret that writing regularly is the key to becoming a great writer. We have been told over and over again that we need to write x-amount of words a day or free-write for y-amount of time. These are certainly useful tactics but can be hard to keep up. Maybe you’ve tried these before and stopped after not making the progress you wanted. That doesn’t mean you are a bad writer or lazy. It just means that you’re in need of some strategy and structure.

If you’d rather watch a video than read a blog, check out our video on the same topic here.

Part of establishing this new writing habit involves some psychological trickery. We are intelligent human beings, but we are also animals. There is the logical part of our brain that says things like “I should go to bed before midnight” and “I should eat fewer french fries.” But there is also the primitive part that only cares about food, water, and reproduction.

We need to be very aware of this part of ourselves. We constantly have a voice inside our heads that is looking for immediate gratification, and sadly writing doesn’t always provide that. Our goal is to combat that part of ourselves in a way that establishes a permanent and beneficial new routine.

This means we will need to address how we form new habits. Humans are incredibly habitual. Our brains reward us for doing things on a regular basis, which can work to our benefit and to our detriment. If you decide you want to start writing and just do it whenever inspiration strikes, you are setting yourself up for failure. Find time to regularly write. I know that’s easier said than done, but there are ways to help you establish a new routine.

Finding Time

Often when we start something new, we just find a time in our schedule and throw it wherever it fits best, but we don’t pay attention to an important question: What were we doing with that time before? Podcaster and Youtuber CGP Grey has a great theory on this. He says that to effectively establish a new habit, we need to be time neutral. When we add new things to our schedule, we need to take equivalent things out. Otherwise, we will tend to revert to whatever filled that space before.

Maybe you have a lot of free time and think this won’t be an issue for you, but we still fill our free time in habitual ways. No matter what our schedule looks like, something will likely have to go. We need to be careful about what we choose, though. Some habits are stronger than others, and it may be easier and more effective to remove one rather than another. We must remain aware of the primitive beast that lurks within.

Here’s a personal example: When I was in college, I wanted to start working out. I tried to start multiple times, to no avail. I would go whenever it worked for my schedule and never established a consistent workout routine. After a couple years of false starts, I came across CGP Grey’s theory. I looked at my schedule and saw how full it was. Classes, internships, homework, and media production filled almost every moment of every day.

I realized that if I wanted to get serious about working out, something had to go. I was working morning radio at my university’s student station, and I decided my time was up there. I quit the station and decided that early mornings were for the gym. I was able to make a time neutral change to my schedule, and I was actually able to keep with it!

Address Roadblocks

It will no doubt take some experimenting to establish a new schedule. We all have different inclinations and habits, and we may need to play around and see what works. It is important to record what does and doesn’t work. If we stay aware of the things that keep us from writing, then we can plan for them and adjust accordingly.

Identify the things that we think will help us maintain the habit and the things that hold us back. As we start to see these tendencies play out over and over again then we can really start to address them.

To continue my example from earlier: I actually didn’t just start working out regularly right out of the gate. I fell into the trap that many people fall into when it comes to exercise. Day one, I hit it hard then woke up the next day super sore and didn’t go back. This caused a few more false starts and the ever-familiar “I’ll try again next week.” I would get upset at myself for not working through the soreness which would lead to self-doubt about the whole situation.

Eventually, I came up with a new plan: start small. I decided not to work out so much that I got sore, because I knew I wouldn’t go to the gym the next day if I did. That was when I actually started hitting the gym on a regular basis, and I was able to slowly build up to where  I wanted to be. I identified the things that kept me from what I wanted to do and addressed them.

In terms of writing, I know that my phone has often been an issue. It is a grand distraction. Every little notification has the ability to completely derail me. Step 1 for me was putting it on do not disturb mode, and while that helped, it didn’t completely resolve my issues. I would still instinctually pick up my phone and start scrolling through some app designed to steal my attention. So I downloaded an app designed to block distracting apps during my writing time.

That helped a lot. Sometimes I still find myself still disabling that app and scrolling anyway, but at this point, if I am having a particularly hard time with my phone, I just put it in the other room. Even small things like that can help us stay consistent and effective.

An important thing to address here is the feeling of self-doubt caused by failure to stick to our new habit. It is inevitable, and we all feel it. It is hard to distance our self-worth from our failures, but if we stay aware of what caused us to fail, then we haven’t failed at all. We’ve learned. In the words of Adam Savage, “Failure is always an option.” Establishing a new habit is incredibly difficult, and just because you’ve been unsuccessful in the past doesn’t mean you always will be. Take those failed attempts, see what caused them, and then address it.

Goals

Our brains love to hit goals. When we hit a goal we’ve set, our brain will reward us for it in the form of chemicals. As we associate these chemical hits with a certain task, we will be more likely to do a task again. When we eat food with a lot of sugar, our brains reward us with dopamine, so we tend to really like sugar!

If you start setting and reaching writing goals, you can trick your brain to reward you for writing. This helps change your habit from something that your logical brain wants into something that the primitive brain also craves. Turn writing into sugar!

As with anything else, we need to be strategic. People like Stephen King will tell you “write 1000 words a day,” but you might be setting yourself up for failure if that’s where you start. Start with something manageable and stick to it. Writing 1000 words a day will no doubt help you become a better writer, but not if you aren’t able to do it consistently. When it comes to setting goals, it’s important to be somewhat conservative.

If you set goals that you aren’t likely to accomplish, you will experience the opposite of the desired effect. Your brain will start to associate the failure of not hitting goals with writing and will be dis-incentivized from doing it. We need to set attainable goals and increase them over time. Then we can work our way to 1000 words a day or whatever your daily goal is.

Starting writing can be incredibly hard. It isn’t as easy as “just doing it.” Once we become conscious of the things that hold us back, we can really start to hone our craft. Having a consistent writing plan will provide a path for you to improve. Obviously, there are other things we can do along the way to help we’ll address in future blog posts, but the first step is starting.

Don’t forget to put your plan in action with our Let’s Find Time worksheet. If you have any questions or comments, join the discussion on our Discord! For more writing advice, check out our YouTube videos on the Campfire Technology YouTube Channel.

[writingpaperghost]

I Would Offer It Happy With a Smile On My Face (Chapter 7)

Chapter 7: You Don’t Need a Shooting Star, the Magic’s Right There in Your Heart

Asahi meets an old friend of Tomomi and the three of them talk about a lot of things.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860734/chapters/60990913

Tomomi ended up working sort of odd hours, so he and Asahi mostly saw each other in the mornings and the evenings. Asahi spent a lot of time during the day running around the city. She wasn’t really the type to stay inside all day, but that had really increased the longer she was in Kurokita. Sometimes, she tagged along with Tomomi, but that was only every once in a while. Still, today, Tomomi had a bit of time today, during lunch, so he ended up dragging her to a cafe.

Asahi had been to this cafe before, it was the one by KPaRS base. It was... well a bit of an odd choice. It was a bit out of the way, Asahi had only stopped there before because she’d been walking in the area. Regardless, Tomomi was the only person she actually talked to regularly, she was a bit... wary about people around the city, so she was fine with spending some more time with him. Honestly, he was kinda like a cool uncle or something. At the very least, he didn’t constantly worry about her whenever she fought a Kaiju, which was kinda nice. Her family worried a bit too much.

They were sitting at a table, a bit before the lunch rush. Tomomi had a cup of what coffee, though Asahi was pretty sure it barely qualified as such, given about half of the coffee was actually just creamer. Alongside that was a salad, which he would passively (aggressively) stab with his fork. Asahi had her, according to Tomomi, “ridiculous sugary abomination” that she’d had before. In front of her was a bowl of soup and a cookie. Despite what Tomomi said, Asahi thought this counted as a perfectly good lunch.

They talked about this and that for a bit, in between bites of food and such. Then, Tomomi, who was facing towards the the main part of the cafe, smiles and waves at someone. Asahi turns her head to see who he was waving at. She watches as a man, the one who Tomomi had waved at, walked over.

“Tomomi,” The man greeted with a smile, a pastry in one hand, what appeared to be a smoothie in the other. He had a KPaRS jacket on, though Asahi noted it was different than the other ones she’d seen. “I’m surprised to see you here,”

Tomomi gave him a smile in response, “Yeah, but I had some time and thought I’d drag Asahi out here.”

The man looks over at Asahi, then looks back to Tomomi, “Hm... Is she you’re younger cousin? I believe you mentioned one of uncles had a daughter about her age.”

Asahi wasn’t sure how to feel about that comment. Tomomi, on the other hand, judging by his face at least, was surprised at the comment. Either he was surprised that the man remember him having a younger cousin, or surprised that she got mistaken for said younger cousin. Asahi wasn’t exactly sure.

“Uh, Kaoru,” Tomomi said, “She’s not related to me. She’s just, uh, staying with me since, she’s a, a family friend.” It would be hard to say that his statement was at all believable. With all the “uh”s and such, Asahi would be surprised if the man believed it.

“Hm... I see, sorry about that.”

Tomomi quickly gestures to one of the extra chairs at the table, “You should sit with us, we haven’t talked much in a while.”

“I can’t intrude on the two of you,” He seemed hesitant, but Tomomi kept insisting, so soon he was sitting with them, placing his smoothie down.

“Oh!” She hasn’t introduced herself yet, “I’m Asahi Minato by the way!”

“Kaoru Matsuoka,” The response is returned with a smile.

There’s a lull in conversation for a moment before Tomomi takes a drink of coffee, prompting Matsuoka to make a comment. “You still drink that with half creamer?”

Tomomi looked at him with mock offense, “I’ll have you know,” he said, “That it is otherwise too bitter. Besides, why are you giving me flack, look at Asahi’s drink. It’s nearly entirely sugar!”

While Matsuoka looks at her drink, Asahi gives Tomomi a look, “What are you talking about?” She asked, “This is perfectly fine. Besides, it’s got fruits, so it’s healthiness balances out.”

“I... don’t think that’s how that works,” Matsuoka commented, “Though I am curious as to how you manage to drink such a thing.”

“Honestly,” Tomomi adds, “I think, what with all the sugar she consumes on a daily basis, she just uses all the sugar to keep herself cheerful.”

“What? That’s not-” Despite her best efforts, Tomomi was giving her an amused smile and Matsuoka did the same, though a bit less noticeably. “Geez, you’re as bad as my brothers!”

“Do you brothers tease you about the amount of sugar you eat too?” Tomomi asked, somewhat teasing though still genuinely curious.

Asahi huffs, “Katsunii always says how I shouldn’t eat so much sugar and Isanii just keeps teasing me about it.” As if to spite her brothers, even from another universe, she takes a long and slow drink. Matsuoka let’s out a mostly hidden chuckle while Tomomi doesn’t even bother trying to hide his amusement.

“Well,” Matsuoka began, “It sound like they care about you.”

Asahi’s annoyance ends at that point, replaced with something else. She gives a small smile, “Yeah, they do.” Her smiles grows when she thinks about not just her brothers but her parents too, “They’re great. Even if they might worry a bit too much for my taste. I always know they care.”

“Having family who cares about you is good,” Tomomi states, “You... You miss them, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” She laughs, “I guess I’m not used to being this far from them and not texting them like twenty times a day.”

Matsuoka hums, taking a drink of his smoothie, “I have to ask you, Tomomi, what sparked that article you wrote? About Ultrawoman Grigio.”

Tomomi quickly and gently (violently) stabbed a piece of lettuce and shoved it in his mouth, if only to buy himself more time before he had to respond. Asahi knew the answer to the question, but it was a bit trickier to answer without outing Asahi as Grigio. As it turned out, most of the people that Tomomi worked with were used to all his slightly unusual Kaiju articles and apparently hadn’t given the one on Grigio too much more than a second glance.

“Well,” Tomomi began, slow enough that he could still think, but not so slow it was noticeable. The wonderful thing about the human brain, is that it was pretty good at improvising on the spot. The downside, was that it usually needed a bit of a preexisting plan. Something that Asahi was pretty sure Tomomi didn’t have. She just hoped he was good at improvising. “She managed to stop that Kaiju and she showed up twice, so I didn’t think it was a one off thing... I figured it would be best to spread awareness, get the word out.”

“Why give her a name? And why Ultrawoman Grigio?”

“Well, we couldn’t keep calling her the grey and yellow giant... So Ultra because she, uh, can do really cool stuff, woman because well, that’s obvious, and Grigio because... Well it’s Italian for grey.” Asahi could tell that Tomomi was doing his best and frankly, she didn’t think she’d be able to come up with a much better answer herself, so she figured it was good enough. Hopefully Matsuoka would believe it.

She couldn’t really tell, but Matsuoka seemed to believe it. He seemed to be mulling over the response before giving a nod, “I suppose that makes enough sense.”

Quietly, Asahi let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. Tomomi did the same, though she was pretty sure his was a bit more noticeable. If Matsuoka noticed, though, he didn’t say anything.

“What do you two think about all the Kaiju attacks, then?” Oh boy, he was full of questions.

Tomomi responded first, “I mean, it’s not good, all these Kaijus just inexplicably rampaging through the city.”

“Same, really, it’s very not happy... Personally, I think that there might be...” Asahi wasn’t sure if she wanted to finish the thought. She’d been thinking about it for a while now. It was odd that the monsters, at least the ones that didn’t seem to be rampaging for the normal reasons, always focused on her right away when she appeared. That and the Kaiju that appeared in Ayaka before that portal she fell through. She had a feeling that the Kaiju in Ayaka, the portal, and most of the Kaiju attacks on this Earth were all connected. But she didn’t have much proof, it was mostly observation and a sort of gut feeling. But Katsumi always said to trust your gut. Of course, she wasn’t sure if she should voice it to someone who didn’t know she was Grigio. “Well I think that a bunch of those attacks are connected. Maybe their all being controlled.”

“Being controlled,” Matsuoka seemed surprised at her idea, which was fair, it was a bit out of left field. “What makes you say that?”

“Uh, well, in a bunch of the Kaiju attacks, they just randomly start rampaging for seemingly no reason. They can’t be stopped through normal means... and when I-Ultrawoman Grigio shows up, they focus on her right away.” She shrugs slightly, hoping she was believable, “It just... seems like there’s someone else behind it all.” It wasn’t like she could list all of her reasons. But she could list enough of them.

Matsuoka considered her words, “You may have a point, though it’s hard to say.”

“But why would someone even bother? It’s such an odd thing to do...” Tomomi wondered, placing a hand on his chin.

“Because there are things out there that do stuff like that just for the sake of it, I guess.” Asahi sighed, taking a drink. “I mean, it’s not exactly unheard of.”

“Well, I’ve never heard of someone using Kaiju in such a way,” Matsuoka says, “But you are right. There are some people who do horrible things for no real reason.” Oh right, they haven’t had a “fate of the planet” scenario or something here. At least not one involving Kaiju.

“Anyway...” Tomomi seemed to be trying to change the subject, “It’s a real roadblock, but I’m sure given time and effort everything will work out.”

“Yes,” Matsuoka agreed, “Hopefully, after this people won’t just lose all trust in Kaijus all together.”

“You guys really want to see a world where Kaijus and people can really just live peacefully, huh?” Asahi comments, “I mean, that’s pretty cool.”

Tomomi grins, “It’s been Kaoru and mine’s dream for... Geez, I’m not sure how long. That’s what we bonded over in highschool, actually.” He leans back and closes his eyes, a wistful expression, “I mean, we knows it’s pretty unrealistic, but still... I guess that’s what dreams are for.”

“I think it’s good that you two have such lofty dreams. It’ll make every step closer feel all the more happy!” She insisted, “My brothers have... someone they’ve worked with who always says that you should never stop trying to reach your dreams. That even if they seem impossible you should still try and never give up, because dreams can always come true.”

Matsuoka chuckles, “Well, I suppose I have to agree with that person.”

“What about you?” Tomomi asks, poking (stabbing) his fork through his salad, “What’s your dream, Asahi?”

“My dream?” Asahi hums in thought, then responds, “I guess… I’m not sure… Really, I’m just happy if I can be around my friends and family!”

Tomomi chuckles a bit before saying, “I guess you must miss them then, huh? Since you’re so far away from your home and your family.”

She’s quiet for a moment, before answering, “… I mean… Yeah…” She trails off, “ But it’s okay! I’ll see them again soon enough! Worrying about that would be really not happy.” 

Matsuoka laughs, not even trying to hide it, “You’re very cheerful, aren’t you?” He asks, then adds, “Well, that’s good. There’s so can be so much negativity in the world.”

“Exactly,” Asahi grins, “The way I see it, you can’t control the world, but you can control how you’re feeling! And I choose to feel happy!”

Their conversation continued on various topics, but Matsuoka had to return to KPaRS and Tomomi had a few other things to do, so they all had to leave.

---

Today’s Kaiju of the Day (a title that isn’t entirely accurate, but neither is Monster of the Week, as monster don’t appear daily, but still more than weekly) was apparently called Gudon. It’s appearance was more akin to a bug than a reptile, though resembled both. Spike decorated it’s body, barring the stomach area and the neck up, with long horns on the top of it’s head. Instead of hands, Gudon had whips.

The most advice Tomomi had given Grigio before she began the fight was something along the lines of “Same as most Kaiju, tail and teeth, but also those whips”.

So yeah, there doesn’t seem to be anything particularly unusual to worry about, which Grigio was pretty grateful for. It seemed, in order to attack her, Gudon would have to get close to her, which Grigio could avoid just by keeping her distances and shooting her arrows. As long as it doesn’t break building’s too much, it shouldn’t have much ammunition to throw at her. She’d learned last time that that was something that some Kaiju’s did (like the one she’d fought, then, which she was told was a Red King).

She’d been doing pretty well with her plan, or at least she thought so. She was pretty sure that it would have continued going pretty well, but, unsurprisingly, there was a wrench thrown into her plans. KPaRS’(... You know, she still hadn’t figured out the best word to describe it. Plane? Jet? She really never knew, she’d have to ask someone later. Maybe Tomomi had an idea. Anyway.) Their jet (That’s what she was going to call it until proven otherwise, because plane sounded a bit wrong) had flown near, trying to assist. In the past, that’d... Well if it didn’t work, it didn’t hurt. Today though, was a bit of a change of form.

When KPaRS got close, Gudon took the chance to try to grab something. That something, being probably the worst possible thing it could have grabbed. KPaRS’ jet.

Crap.

Grigio knew that she couldn’t just stand there and hope for the best. The biggest issue was how to make sure that KPaRS got free of Gudon but stay pretty safe. She honestly wasn’t sure what to do. Should she just launch an arrow at Gudon? Would KPaRS be fine?

KPaRS was trying to pull free of Gudon’s grip, finding little success.

She needed to do something. But she didn’t know what! What would be the best thing to do! She didn’t want to mess up and make things worse! What if instead of letting go, Gudon tightened it’s grip?!

She was snapped out of her thoughts by an irritated Jun, who didn’t even sound like she was meaning to be heard by Grigio. “She’s not really making me think she’s not behind this!” It sounded like a response or maybe just a comment made with the knowledge that Rin would understand who she was talking about.

“Performance anxiety?” Rin offered in response, then let out a groan of frustration, followed by, “I’m sure she’ll do something.”

“Well I’m not so sure!”

Grigio really needed to do something. She needed to stop thinking so hard and move! Do something! Anything! At that point, she hadn’t even realized she was running at the monster until she was nearly close enough to touch it. And then she tackled it. Not her preferred way of attacking, but seeing as Gudon was preoccupied prior, it hadn’t noticed her coming and was thoroughly startled. It released KPaRS as Grigio was left to come up with what to do next.

In something of a panic, she punches it,trying to stall to make sure that KPaRS got a far enough away. Now she needed to put some distance between her and Gudon before- Shit. Okay, new plan. Gudon had a grip on her wrist with it’s whip, using the other to attack her.

She tries to wrench her wrist free, wincing with every hit of it’s other whip, but found that her attempts weren’t effective. Grigio shifts slightly and kicks it in the stomach, causing it’s grip to loosen, at least enough that she was able to practically throw herself away from Gudon.

Her color timer was beeping now, she didn’t really have a lot of time left to finish fighting the monster. With KPaRS flying farther away now, keeping their distance, she was able to use her bow to keep Gudon occupied long enough to tie it up with Grigio Bind.

Grigio hoped that Rin and Jun were alright, she wasn’t sure if Gudon had done any damage when it grabbed them. Although she was sure that it wasn’t going to stop them.

She did wish that she hadn’t panic so much before though. She didn’t have a lot of experience fighting, and as it turned out, there was a lot to take into account when a Kaiju grabs something with people in it.

[ranjxtul]

Fire and Reign: Necromancy

Finally, we have witches au chapter four! I am so sorry for the delay here, and for the length. It’s a bit shorter than usual, but the next chapter will be action packed! I don’t think there are TWs for this chapter, so enjoy loves

Ao3 Link https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249039/chapters/47313391

“Find anything else since we last talked?” Called Aragon as she made her way into the greenhouse with a mug of coffee in her hand, eyes still bleary from sleep.

A sleep deprived, but alert Catherine Parr glanced up to her godmother worriedly, it was abnormal for her to be up this early. She glanced at the clock. It was only eight. Usually Aragon awoke around an hour later, looking much less frazzled. Stray curls stuck out at angles and she still wore her pajamas.

Catherine frowned then, at the question asked. In reality, she hadn’t been able to uncover anything new, even with the help of the American Supreme. “You’re up earlier than usual,” she nodded, completely avoiding the subject as a whole.  

“Didn’t want to sleep in,” Aragon shrugged, quickly dispelling any further discussion on the topic. Parr nodded, knowing when she didn’t want to broach a topic.

“What about Henry? I need to know if we have anything new,”  An unspoken, ‘I have to do something,’ stayed in her head. Aragon tried again. Since Anne’s sighting the previous night, she’d practically been on hyperdrive. Sleep had been fitful and erratic because all she could do was contemplate possible avenues, and who his next victim might be.

Realistically, it could be anyone in London. The lack of knowledge concerning witches and the secrecy put blinders on most people, including young witches themselves. As a result, Henry’s scope of possible victims had much greater magnitude than she would have liked.

Finding witches and protecting them would be ideal; however, Catherine knew the semantics of that plan were much more complex in practice. Finding young witches was about as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack, unless of course you were finding their mangled corpses, she thought bitterly to herself.

Parr observed the other woman, the clipped question’s brittle tone bounced off of her. She could only imagine what it would be like to be in the Supreme’s shoes. As a child, she’d dreamt about the idea of being the Supreme and being trusted to lead, but as she’d grown to understand what the job entailed, she realized she didn’t want that. She wanted to care for her coven, but her decisions couldn’t be the difference between life or death. She understood Catherine’s stress, and if she was honest, everyone in the house now felt it.

Shockwaves of the harsh reality that Henry was ready to kill, hadn’t settled easily among any of the queens. All of them had known in a certain capacity it was true, but there was something about the casual encounter that reminded everyone of the immanence in the situation.

“No,” Parr finally answered. “I’ve done just about everything I can, and contacted the Supremes in Spain, France, and Germany. They never linked the killings even. It seems like whoever’s employing him was moving him around or giving him spot kills there, but of course I have no evidence to back that up. It’s purely assumption, and he’s smart. He doesn’t leave a paper trail or physical evidence. If we knew a last name it could be helpful, but even then I'm not sure we’d have anything concrete,” she admitted with a regretful shrug.

“So we’re stuck?” Aragon asked, her mouth falling into a thin line as she wracked her brain for anything helpful. Nothing. Then it hit her, his victims were the key. “Do you think that he’s killed everyone here in the same location? Or at least remotely so,” she added.

Parr tilted her head, “Probably, he seems consistent in London.”

“Great. That’s all I needed to know,” Aragon nodded, a small smile replacing the frustration, a bit self satisfied with her own idea. “I’ll talk to you later, love, but I think I might have an idea of something we can do.”

Catherine raised an eyebrow in shock but nodded, “See you later then.” Aragon turned to exit the greenhouse and return to her office. First things first, she had to do some research of her own, then she needed to speak to the council.

She wasn’t sure she had the proper books in her office, Most likely, she’d have to search the attic.. Necromancy as a whole was risky business, and when done wrong, things could go south in the blink of an eye. Of course Aragon was competent enough to perform the type of magic properly, but not without proper research. The last Supreme, her mother, coincidentally, had always had a bit of an interest in the darker aspects of magic and the more ‘forbidden’ things.

For example, Catherine vividly remembered her mother practicing descensum frequently. She’d later explained she’d only done so in an attempt to understand hell and understand who and what lived down there. Aragon herself had never had much of an interest as a result.

She understood the consequences of failing descensum. One would be trapped in hell and their body would disintegrate. No matter if they beat their personal hell, if they didn’t bring themselves back in time they’d be gone. She hated that her mother ran that risk so often, and for what? As far as Aragon was concerned there were no practical purposes, as understanding hell was futile.

Catherine’s own experience with descensum had been as she’d expected: hellish. Her hell consisted of the coven disowning her and her being thrown to the streets only to have Henry and his manipulative, vindictive ways waiting for her outside the doors. No one thought she’d make it back in time, and truthfully she’d only just made it back before dawn, panting and panicked she’d bolted up. How did anyone get used to beating their hell and how did anyone do it regularly? The concept baffled her.  

Her mother had fittingly also been interested in learning about necromancy, which granted was a lot less dangerous than casually practicing descensum. It couldn’t directly destroy the caster, but any number of bad outcomes could occur without understanding how to properly control such magic and without knowing exactly whom one was contacting. At one point, Catherine had a mild interest in the basics, but quickly strayed away from it once she began to understand the negative consequences: it could put those she cared about in danger.

Now it seemed she’d have to return to her old interest and ignore the overly analytical and cautious voices in her head that told her necromancy was a bad idea. Upon a small browsing of her office shelves, unsurprisingly, she found nothing of use. With a short sigh of impatience, she turned to traipse her way up the stairs to the attic.

Upon pushing the door open, she observed Jane’s workspace. Books sat strewn on the table’s surface and pages of notes sat stacked in one corner. Her stones sat atop one open book and a separate sheet of notes sat beside the stones. Part of Aragon felt inclined to see what Jane had been working on, but she stopped, reminding herself that Jane would let her know when the time was right.

Instead, she made her way toward the dust covered boxes containing her mother’s old books. She went through two boxes before she found what she needed: books on the foundations and extended applications of necromancy. Now that she had the books she could hopefully find what she needed. And once the adequate research was done she could call the council and see if they approved of her plan. Back to her office to read, it seemed.

By the time she finished relaying the cornerstones of her reading and in detail her plan, Anna and Jane each had their own looks of shock and intrigue on their face.

“Do you think that’ll work?” Asked Jane.

“The magic or the plan?” Anne countered the blonde as if Jane’s question hadn’t been directed at Catherine. She was caught up in the semantics and possible dangers of what Aragon her proposed to even question effectiveness yet.

Jane glanced at the short haired woman beside her, “I was addressing both actually. Messing with necromancy can be dangerous, and in practice this plan is basically built on assumptions.”

Aragon cut in, “I know the dangers, but we’re at a practical roadblock on learning anything else. We haven’t been able to ID any of his victims easily, and I’ve had Cathy doing some research for me. She’s also been unable to find anything else. If my hunch is right, then this could get us somewhere,” she insisted.

“But if something were to go horribly wrong, for example, you could contact the wrong spirit, and set something free or be unable to contain it. There’s also physical safety to take into account when you think of this. What if someone happened upon you?”

“I’m planning to take Anne with me. You know she’s not easily scared off by a task, and should something happen she knows how to fight,” Catherine raised a brow. She understood Anna and Jane’s concern, she needed to do something. “As for what we talk to, I should be able to contain it. I’m no novice,” she added with a hint of mirth in an attempt to lighten the mood.

The other two women shared a weary look, ultimately Aragon did have a final say in what she did. They hadn’t had to have been called in, which meant she most likely wanted their support and help ironing out details of the plan. “So, when do you want to leave?” Jane asked after a moment’s silence. She could feel waves of urgency and underlying anxiety radiating off the Supreme potently.

“I’d like to go tonight. The sooner the better, and around ten. There’s no need to cause more disruption than normal,” she shrugged, a bit relieved the two relented in the doubts at least verbally. When she listened to their thoughts, she could hear the doubts screaming loudly. That was a confidence boost for sure.

“I’d suggest later. If your location’s right, you could have a chance of running into him if he’s found a victim,” Jane pointed out tilting her head.

“Go after midnight,” Anna suggested directly after Jane spoke.

The other two were right, an earlier time was a gamble. Well, in reality, this whole trip was a gamble. She only nodded though, “Brilliant idea.”

The girls were absolutely correct. This could be fatal, useless, too much of a risk or all of the above. Catherine did her best to suppress the whirling thoughts of what that failure could be though. She had to do something about Henry, and in her mind, knowing the enemy was the first step to beating the enemy.

If they could gain the upperhand by learning more information about Henry Tudor before he gained more intel on them, they’d have the upperhand. So far, nonmagic routes hadn’t gleaned enough information. If she wasn’t desperate, she wouldn’t push less ‘safe’ options for informational purposes.

Truth be told, she was still shaken from the night before, and she was waiting on news from Maria that there’d been another victim. Realizing she’d spaced out for a moment, she shook her head in an attempt to play it off, “I’m going to find Anne. Make sure when we’re gone to hold down the fort, yeah?” she joked with a quiet laugh.

“Yes ma’am,” Anna jested back, accompanied by a nod and smile from Jane. With one final nod, Aragon slipped out of her office to search for Anne. The brunette would most likely be in her room or roaming about the house, considering it was nearing dinner. Luck seemed to be on Catherine’s side when she peeked into Anne’s room to see the other with a book open on her bed.

“Anne?” Catherine called quietly, so as not to startle Anne from her reading.

The brunette glanced up, her eyes wide for a second, until she recognized Catherine in the doorway. “Hm?” she hummed in response closing the book and pulling herself up.

“Mind if I come in first of all?”

“Be my guest,” Anne shrugged with a vague gesture to the room. With a nod, Aragon stepped into the messy room, maneuvering small piles of clothes or the several fallen objects on the floor. “What’s up?” Anne asked as Aragon made her way to sit down at the desk chair.

“I need a favor,” Aragon started with a deep breath.

“Oh?” Anne leaned forward curiously.

Simultaneously, in a pub in the city, two men sat at a corner booth. One had an angular jaw and sandy stubble dotting that same jaw. His grim face, contained smile lines only shown in malice. His accomplice sat across from him. This man’s features were polar the first man’s. His dark hair, dark eyes, and complimenting five o’clock shadow contrasted the light blonde man’s features. The similarities though, sat in the stone cold hollow eyes and in the understated intimidation of his muscular stature.

“You know,” the dark headed man started, “You can’t just keep waiting for them to do something. This wasn’t supposed to take as long as it has. I mean, three years? That’s excessive, even if they’re being wise Henry.”

The newly named Henry shook his head, “They’ll stop being careful soon enough, and that’s when I’ll catch them.”

“You were supposed to get in and take them out,” the second man persisted.

“I know, Thomas, but they were smarter than I anticipated!” his nostrils flared in a flash of irritation. “That’s completely on me though, I will admit. I shouldn’t have underestimated them.”

“At least we know what we know, and we have our inside contact, well if that’s what you call her,” Thomas shrugged, appraising his own words.

“She’s served her purpose, and continues to. She keeps up my wards and gives me information and I don’t kill her,” he shrugged in return as if what he said were the simplest agreement ever.

“Speaking of which, has she turned up anything new?” Thomas asked in curiosity.

“Katherine Howard,  the one about a week ago is alive. Anne got her out of there apparently.”

The other man’s eyes lit up in recognition, “Howard?”

Henry narrowed his eyes, “Yeah, you know her?”

Quickly, realizing his sudden interest hadn’t been inconspicuous, Thomas forced himself to sit back, “Heard the name before.”

An obvious lie, but Henry didn’t care to push it. Instead he pushed forward, “Last night was an easy one. She was young, sixteen, and out too late for her own good. If only the others were as easy. God, it still baffles me that Catherine is the leader, and that Anne is alive. Of course now it all makes sense, knowing Jane’s a healer. If only I’d gotten that much out of her that night. I was so close to nipping the problem in the bud with her,” he shook his head, thinking of the drunken night Jane had begun to divulge the London coven’s secrets when he’d been with her.

“And now you have baggage now. What’ll you do with the son once you deal with everyone else?” Thomas asked.

“Eh, haven’t really thought about it. There are merits to getting rid of him with his mother or keeping him. We’ll see how everything pans out, then I’ll deal with it all.” In one statement, Henry Tudor had revealed truly how little he cared for life. He cared for manipulation, ease, and power above all else.

While Thomas definitely was unbothered by murder, the idea of murdering a baby didn’t settle well with him. The kid hadn’t had much of a chance to live. It must have shown on his face because Henry’s face hardened, “You got a problem with that?” he asked carefully, his brow raised.

Forcing his expression back to neutral, Culpeper shook his head. He had more interest in Katherine Howard, even if murdering an infant didn’t sit well. He wouldn’t have a part of it bothered him so much. All he cared about was seeing Katherine again.

“Good. Can you go take care of the body from last night sometime tonight?” Henry continued.

“Always sending me to do your dirty work, eh?” Thomas scoffed. “Yeah, sure.”  

[independencelogbook]

9.29.19

So I'm still figuring out how to make this whole "writing about things" situation happen in these circumstances- I had written posts on day 1 and 2 and had saved them on the app on my phone, but without service or wifi I guess they didn't stick. Had an empty drafts page after connecting to wifi in port today :(

Regardless, I'll just do a recap of those first-day proceedings here from day 4. As I'm writing, it's 9:46 pm on our first day in port on this cruise. Luckily they were kind to us with training and didn't schedule anything today, and since hardly anyone is on board when we're docked, there's not much work to do in the theatres. So I was able to get off the ship in Malaga, Spain for the afternoon!

Honestly kind of surreal still to walk off the ship (it has also not sunk in that this ship is my home for the next few months) and be walking around in Spain like it's an everyday thing. Reminds me of being on the subway in New York where it feels a bit like you've teleported. You step outside and suddenly you're in a totally different place without really seeing it happen like in a car or plane.

The first day of my contract involved a wake up call at 4:30am, shuffling on to a couple of private buses with about 50 other people starting their contracts that day (lots of which were returners coming back from a break between contracts), and a quick, hour long drive to Southampton. At the dock, we put our stuff through an x-ray and into the void of the building somewhere for more security screening, and lined up to have them double check that we had all the necessary medical/marine security/passport requirements to get onboard. The other stage staff new hires and I met up with our supervisor and she took us onboard to get our ID badges and room keys. Dropped off my stuff in my room and came back out for a tour of all the relevant crew areas of the ship. That was a whirlwind, and a confusing maze of all the plain, off-white crew stairwells that look the same. It's definitely not a straightforward path anywhere haha, but I think I'm just starting to get a handle on how to find any of the important places on my own. We got our luggage from the I-95, which is what everyone calls the literal only staright shot of a hallway for the crew. It's the pathway on deck 1 that runs along the whole length of the ship. It looks the same in both directions and so do all of the little hallways and turn offs that lead to the equally confusing staircases haha. Finding anything here feels like a puzzle, and I'm determined to figure out the most direct, and least guest contact, ways to the places I need to get to. Most of the crew cabins are down there too, so it's kind of like home base on the ship for crew. Pretty much anything I need to get to is on decks 0-5, so at least I'm not regularly traversing the entire ship. Boy it's a ton of stairs though lol.

We got to tour the theater spaces a bit, had our first encounter with the mess halls, and I had some cabin switchery that led to me moving all my stuff in to a different hall down the way from my original one. I believe I'll be moving back to my proper cabin spot at the end of this cruise though. They like to room people within the same department so your schedules match, and they group the same department's cabins together somewhat too. The room is small, but not claustrophobic or anything. I'll have to give you a square footage estimate sometime, cause it really is tiny haha. Glad I didn't bring any more clothes than I did.

Seas on day 2 (starting around 3 am, which I know because the rocking woke everyone up) were horrendously rough for about a day and a half straight through, and I was definitely really seasick in the morning. Luckily they have seasickness pills readily available in a bin outside of crew medical that everyone was popping like candy that day lol. That stuff worked like a charm and I felt better by the afternoon. After that little roadblock, it was just the fun game of getting better at not stumbling around everywhere because your whole environment is moving around you. It felt sort of like being on a gigantic carousel- like a slow, circular motion, but for hours and hours. Or like a slow-motion version of when you first drop on a roller coaster- that kind of light-headedness and weird feeling in your gut. Plus a semi frequent, erratic lurch thrown in there to keep you on your toes haha. Funnily enough, when I was sitting down at a restaurant off the ship today, it felt like I was swaying and it was super disorienting... Guess I've already got my sea legs thanks to that rough weather lol. On the upside of the rough sea day, in one of the many trainings that is keeping my schedule packed this week (and will next week as well), I got to use a fire hose off the back of the boat! That was pretty neat. Also good things from the training: figuring out how to better navigate the stairwells after learning how to read the signs better, and learning how the recycling and water systems work on board. Actually pretty interesting how they end up pulling this all off. It's such a crazy concept when you start to think about it.

This one's getting long, so I'll call that good for now, but that's the general idea of what my first days on board were like. Next time, I think I'll describe some of what my work on board is gonna entail.

Thanks for reading! It's a big learning curve on a lot of drastic lifestyle changes, but I'm enjoying the process and I think things are going well, all things considered!

[kaiba-fangirl]

So according to this person on tumblr, I’m ace. ... ... Yah, okay. Sure, Jan. smh, Whatever. Everyone seems to have a different opinion about me, but I never expected to get roped into this one. Coming here to rant cuz, 1, that convo apparently isn’t going anywhere, & 2, I forget when I first read about asexuality, but I remember thinking, Oh! Like Kaiba! Cuz that’s how I always would try to describe how I thought he most canonically was, and why, while he was my #1 and I loved the shipping ideas with all sorts of other characters, I didn’t think any of it fit him. Yeah I multiship him now & I love my polyships, but at his most canon? Kaiba’s ace. And I finally had a word to describe him. So like I’m obviously not saying it’s not real or doesn’t exist. Grey-, Demi-, fine, okay, makes sense to me even though- well, later. Despite the other people I’ve met here who agree that to them Kaiba is ace, I regularly stay away from saying much myself at all. Whenever more specifics come up or someone tries to explain it beyond 1 sentence, I always find myself saying something that I get told is wrong, or at least thinking that like, oh, well, everything I thought I understood about this is apparently wrong. That translates to me rb’ing ace!Kaiba posts, but not making them myself or commenting. Since it’s apparently just something I can never understand even the very definition of unless I am it, then ugh oh well, whatever. Doesn’t affect me so no big deal. I’m not even trying to write an ace!Kaiba.  But then this... without getting to much into it again, this post claimed to give the definition of sexual attraction. An extremely narrow definition: You see a person,  you think about having sex with them. Only after those conscious thoughts, then do you have feelings or whatever about how they look and who they are. And that’s just-- wtf? Nobody does that. That’s not how that works. Like, maybe unless you’re already looking at a naked person and are horny? So, like, when you’re watching porn I guess? So if this single pulled-outta-their-ass explanation is to be taken as THE definition of sexual attraction, but it applies to almost no one ever, that would mean almost every single person is asexual. Allosexual people are not going around picturing everyone naked and gettin it on already. That’s not what’s actually going through people’s heads for what counts as sexual attraction. And so what if I’m not a professional; I doubt this person is. (If they are then seriously wtf???) I’m 31. I’ve talked so openly with lots and lots of people in real life about sex since 18 when I moved to Philly for college. I’m attracted to lots, had sex with a lot of people, some with love some not, and yet not just anyone. I actually consider myself extremely picky, but that doesn’t make me ace. I love sex. I think about it, I want it, I get it, I love it. Alternatively, I crave it but know I can’t for whatever reason. Biggest bottom line is: I experience sexual attraction, with none of the other limits described by Grey-, Demi-, etc. I can’t possibly imagine someone thinking I’m ace just cuz they’re either confused about what sexual attraction is, or simply have never experienced it themselves. I get maybe they’re upset at people describing what lack of sexual attraction should feel like to them, but then here they go explaining what sexual attraction should feel like to everyone else, when they have no freakin clue. Here, try again, these simple textbook answers work just fine, without wild Tex Avery wolf analogies: “Sexual attraction is an emotional response sexual people feel where they find someone sexually appealing, and often results in a desire for sexual contact with the person.“ -oh, look at that, from an actual asexuality website, too! “ Sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest. Sexual attractiveness or sex appeal is an individual's ability to attract the sexual or erotic interests of other people, and is a factor in sexual selection or mate choice. “ -plain old wikipedia FFS just google something at least if you can’t/won’t talk to other people. But see? This and the whole google search page goes on about how it’s just this physiological feeling, about any of a host of things that attract you to a person in the context that sexual things would be a hypothetical end, but you’re not thinking that far ahead, it’s not conscious thought at all, and that hypothetical may not be viable or appropriate for any number of reasons. It’s NOT just envisioning people as naked meat to devour. Again, you’re thinking of like, centerfolds. Which, sure, that’s a sexual attraction, but that’s not how allo people normally operate. There’s a difference between your overall sexual attraction, and just being in a passing horny mood. And allo people are not just horny all the time for everyone. (ノ_<。) This person is clueless and insists on staying clueless... And I know it doesn’t really affect me, it’s just some idiot on tumblr, but I guess this one in particular pissed me off cuz I immediately saw so many other people -assuming young people- jumping on it, amazed that they must also be ace, because they too had never envisioned strangers naked and voluntarily conjured a desire for immediate intercourse at first sight! Wow, all these people never knew that that’s what sexual attraction REALLY was all this time. *facepalm* That’s cuz it’s not... Some of them, sure, they don’t experience it or choose to id as ace for any of the other reasons listed. But if those other roadblocks don’t apply to you, and you’re not seeing visions of naked people you are driven to bone, you may just not be ace. And how is that possibly a big deal? To find out something doesn’t apply to you? Or if you are, then still, don’t go around thinking that the opposite is 24/7 crazed horndogs all around you imagining you naked and doing obscene things. Like, geeze people... Wanna talk about asexuality being a spectrum, but then come out with this bs. wtf...