#had this in drafts for a while worried it wasn't good enough lol

[notyourastarion]

"You can bite me, I trust you."

Starter for @reining-disaster

Out of their merry little band, Astarion had singled out a potential member to feed from straight away: Rein. Rein who was understanding and patient with people. Rein who wouldn't get as angry as the request for blood as say, the Githyanki. Rein who was inviting any old lost soul to join the camp like he was collecting shells at the beach. Helpful Rein. Kind Rein. Friendly Rein.

The little half-elf was simply exhausting sometimes. How on earth were they supposed to save themselves when he felt the need to help every poor sap who crossed their path?

"You trust me? How delightfully naive of you." He smirked, as he often did, and shifted his weight from one foot to another. He wouldn't get what he wanted if he didn't at least act civil. "A bite has lasting effects, you know. Are you sure about this, darling?"

[kanmom51]

Jikook in bed - Part 1

I am pissed and in a not good way.

Worked over 4 hours writing this post, saved to drafts only for the whole damn thing to just disappear.

Did I mention I am pissed?

Cause I am.

Ok, let me take a breath and try to put down on paper my thoughts, hopefully I will remember some of them.  Sob sob.

Jikook in bed. 

Who would have thought that I would be writing a post about Jikook in bed? 

Please don't answer my rhetorical question, lol.

Who thought after the Jikook drought we got in 2023 that we would be getting this, eh?  And yet, here we are.  Me losing count of the number of posts I’ve already written about episodes 1 and 2 alone of Are you sure?! And I’m not done yet.  And another episode is coming today!!!

Did I mention just how overwhelmed I am?  In the very best way.  Well, other than being pissed at Tumblr for throwing away my hard work. 😭😭

I’ll be breaking this down into 2 parts because damn it, there is so much to say about these two short clips we get of the two in bed.  Both playful.  Both sus as shit.  If shit is sus – I guess we can ask JM on his thoughts about that – yes I did go there.  Poor man is not going to live this down, and now I understand why he kept asking if this could air – not because he was worried about their flirty handsy moments.  NOPE.  But because of the shit, lol.

Ok, so part 1 will be focusing on the brushing teeth in bed, while part 2 will focus on the handsy cuddly butt wacky master bedroom action.

When watching the whole brushing teeth in bed I had to ask myself a multiple why’s?

Why brush teeth in the bedroom? 

Or more so, why in that bedroom?

Why not in the bathroom?

Perhaps because we would see they are both using the master bedroom ensuite?

It’s not that we couldn’t deduce that from the footage, but that would take more looking into, which let’s be real, most army don’t do.  They watch it once or twice and many don’t pay attention to the details.  A lot of details need us to view the footage multiple times something that most army are not into – they don’t care to find out more.  They see the surface, JK and JM being cute, and that’s enough for them to say “oh, they are so brotherly…. Such brotherly love…” without wanting to see anything else.

But if you do look closer you see A LOT.

You see that JM does the tour of the house, showing us 4 bedrooms, first one being a master bedroom with a king size bed and an ensuite he shows us.

An ensuite we later see JK in while preparing to go out shopping.

So yes.  They were both using the same bathroom in that huge modern fancy house with 4 bedrooms and obviously more than one bathroom that happened to be the ensuite to the master bedroom.

And perhaps they didn’t want it to be too obvious.  Because why use that same bathroom? 

*side note: at this point, when JM goes to check on JK there is clearly a staff member in there with them. The way the camera moves the angle of filming changes, it's clear that is not a static camera, unlike the ones we got from the bedrooms and hallway at night and in the morning. It looks like the staff member is using JM's go pro to film that and as JM walks out of the bathroom the camera changes hands and JM has it. And I state this because most of the time there wasn't staff in the house with them. For a lot of the time they had the house to themselves. My educated guess would be that just like we saw they had control over the cameras in the house, could easily turn them on and off (JK with the hallway camera), they were the ones to decide when the staff can join them in the house to film or resume filming.

Another possible reason why we got the bedroom scene would be that they didn’t want to place a camera in the bathroom, which they obviously didn’t. I mean, that bathroom was rather small – you know, as ensuites usually are, and having them both stand there and brush their teeth would be cramped and uncomfortable (we saw that in Sapporo we did have them place that camera for us to see them brush their teeth side by side).  Also, obviously they wouldn’t want permanent cameras placed in the bathroom for privacy reasons – duh.  Even if they did have control over turning the cameras on and off. In Sapporo it’s clearly a camera they set up themselves, one they could just pick up and take away. They placed it there for the purpose of filming themselves brushing their teeth side by side. 

So basically, imo, this whole brushing teeth in the bedroom JK was supposedly sleeping in was a combination of it all.

They wanted us to see them brush their teeth prior to going to sleep.  They didn’t want us to see that they were sharing the ensuite bathroom (the bathroom connected to the room JM was sleeping in).

And the cherry to top it all is showing us this is where JK is going to spend the night.

Because that was somehow something they needed to show us.

Unlike the cabin with the one bed, that didn’t ‘allow’ for another option, the two spending the night in the same bed while there are another 3 lovely empty rooms available, would be too much perhaps.

You know, deniability and all. 

Makes even more sense seeing this was filmed in July 2023, and the two did not know just yet what lies ahead of them when it comes to their enlistment.

Let’s talk about that for a sec, why don’t we?

Those cameras in the house, they were placed ahead of time.  Before the two arrived.  I’m talking about the permanent cameras – the ones downstairs, the one in the hallway, the one in JK’s bedroom, the one in the master bedroom.

This was decided ahead of time – that they will not be sharing a bedroom.  Not on camera anyway. And this wasn’t their decision!

I don’t think that JM asking while standing in that room whether to sleep together with JK, adding a comment about getting hit was an actual contemplation on his part.  I think it was him signalling that it’s definitely an option and perhaps the reason why he won’t be is because of not wanting to get hit.  Him doing all of that when JK is there in the room with him (probably going through his luggage which was probably there too – we don’t get to see, but it makes sense seeing how small the other room was and the fact that JK was using the ensuite).  We also see JK throw something onto the bed – perhaps a heat pack he took out of that luggage?  But he’s there and they leave the room together shortly after.

"Should I sleep next to Jungkook tonight? Will he hit me again?"...

Again, let me be clear here with what I’m saying.  JM asking this was a mute question, and he knew it, seeing that they were both well aware of the fact that cameras were already placed in the two bedrooms expecting them not to be sharing that bed.  At least not on camera.

And you know where else you see that bemusement about the separate beds?

In the trailer where we get them in Sapporo the two standing in the hotel room JK asking JM which bed he wants to choose.  JM’s reaction super telling. 

And what about the house in Jeju?  Clearly that second bed was brought up from the room downstairs (we know that from the original layout of the house).  Yes, Tae was joining.  But wouldn’t that be less sus them sharing a bed?  We’ve seen them all share beds in previous content.  Tae literally shared one with his mates back in 2022.  I guess that the idea was to show us that when there is an option they won’t share a bed?  That the CT cabin was a ‘must’ as there was only one bed and there was no choice?  Strange, seeing that there were other options for cabins that were not 1 shared bed.  Well, never mind that.  In any case I guess there was need for the deniability, seeing as to how cozy those two were the next day in that one bed in the master bedroom. 

Seeing that plus knowing they shared a bed could be construed as too much perhaps.

Btw, you know what that whole scene in bed reminded me of?

Remember that time JK was asked what his favourite memory from their trip to Tokyo?

Remember his answer?

JM staying up until 5 am on his phone and sleeping in the next morning?

Sorry, but that constant smirk on JM's face... to die...

and

Yes Jeon. "He" didn't sleep at night. That's why both of you overslept the next day.

*Side note: at the end of the interview/sit down JM won a gift which guess who was given straight away?

Well, them in bed together there in CT, seeing those few seconds we were allowed to see (with the many cuts) – that is how I picture them in Tokyo on that trip.  Those calm almost boring moments in bed together.  On their phones.  Snuggling.  Playing.  Just enjoying being next to each other, just the two of them, outside world be damned. 

That is what JK loved most in Tokyo. That is what was most memorable to him (our introvert sweetie).

And he got that here as well.

You could argue: "what's the difference here from the two spending time together in bed in Seoul at either of their palaces?" And my answer to that would be:

EVERYTHING.

How can you even compare? Being back in Seoul, with all the playing around their schedules and stress and pressures and anxiety that still linger even when you are home, even when you are together with your loved one. You can't compare it to this. JM taking the time off to be with him. JK taking the couple of days off during his promotions for his first solo debut. Getting away from it all. Spending those 3 days together alone. No work. No stress. No pressure. Even with JK feeling physically off and JM's diarrhea. Just the two of them, away. Away from everything and everyone. Having those tiny every so important soft moments.

Or in layman's words: having a cuddle at home is not the same as having that cuddle when away, taking that time to spend together as a couple. It's just not the same. It's so much more. And that is also why it was so memorable for JK back in 2017.

I’m getting kind of emotional here folks.  Don’t mind me.

Let’s get back to the brushing teeth in bed, shall we?

Again, in the second bedroom and not the master, even though it’s the master ensuite they are using as a bathroom!!

Why not see them brush their teeth on the master bed?  Yeah, I think I answered that one already.  We weren’t supposed to deduct that JK was using the master ensuite.

We were to know that JK was sleeping in that room, we even got to see him go to sleep and wake up there.  It was very important that we see that.  Not make a mistake that maybe, just maybe, they spent the night together.

What do I think, you ask?  I will tell you, even if you didn’t ask, lol.

I think that JK probably did sleep in that bed for a bit.  A BIT.  Like a really really short bit.

I also think that they spent much time together in that one bed in the master bedroom.  They got the pre-sleep cuddles (that we didn’t get to see) and they got the post-sleep cuddles (that we also didn’t get to see – and I’ll get into that in the next post – just saying that JK walking into the room and out of it after he woke up – the first time he goes in and out – there was a HUGE chunk cut out of the footage).

Oh, and they got the post-JK eating crap for breakfast- cuddles too.

This isn’t going the way I wanted it to, lol.  I’m talking too much about stuff that is meant for part 2 of Jikook in bed.  You see, this is why it is all intertwined and if there wasn’t an issue with image limits or readers losing focus with too long posts this would all be one post.  But 'tis what 'tis and I have to stop talking about the master bedroom!!!

So, back to the toothbrushing.

This was them:

JK literally pulling JM down to lie on the bed.

The giggles (oh, what I want to say now and am holding myself back).

Their playfulness is on another level.

Add the legs over shoulder.

After JM laying his legs on JK's shoulders, JK grabbing the legs and pulling JM even closer in.

I love how with Jikook we live on moments that remind us of other moments. And this one kind of reminds me of another moment back from 2019 during rehearsal for the LY concerts, JM coming in behind JK to hold him and JK pulling JM's arm in for an even closer hug.

And we have cuts, of course.

So many of them.

Including this one.

And this one.

The cuts.  We should talk about them for a sec. 

There is hours and hours of footage, and obviously there are things that are deemed to end up on the editing room floor.  Footage that might be boring or irrelevant to whatever it is they want to be showing us.  There is also a time constrict that needs to be kept.  Understandably not everything can be left in.

But it’s some decisions that make you raise an eyebrow.  Some of those editing decisions that make you think – why cut this?  Why not leave the flow? 

And these moments are exactly those type of moments.

Obviously the fans will go crazy for seeing them be so playful and mucking around.  They are brushing their teeth and it’s clear this isn’t something that is going on for too long of a time.  So, why not allow us to see the FULL interaction?  I think we know the answer to that, don’t we?  Once again it’s those two being too much.  Too obvious.  Too handsy. Too couplie.

How exactly does JK end up with his back to us?

Why is he with his back to us?

Why is the whole scene with JM’s legs hanging over JK’s shoulders cut short?

And why does JK continue to be with his back to us after this has clearly ended and JM is sitting on the edge of the bed?

I kind of think that I know why JK was sitting with his back to us, and why it’s cut at that point and we never get to see them get out of that bed.

Great time to sign off.

See you for part 2 of Jikook in bed.

[salbei-141]

Be honest with me (Roman Roy x reader)

Masterlist

word count: 1.1k

warnings: 18+, pure fluff and comfort, mentions of verbal abuse

a/n: Inactivity who? A rare update I know lol. Anyway y’all I’m so in love with him - honestly in love with all the Roy siblings, but Romulus got a special place in my heart <3

I love how late I jump onto writing trends for characters, but in my defence I've had this in the drafts for MONTHS. Anyway, hope you enjoy my loves <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The apartment was silent, it felt too out of character, especially for Roman. The both of you lay in silence on his bed, still in today's clothes.

You move your hand slowly - scared that a sudden movement would cause him to suddenly get up and leave without warning. Tentatively, you inch your fingers onto his own - he said nothing, nor did he move. Gaining more confidence and desperate to comfort him knowing how loud his mind must be right now - you encapsulate his hand within your own. They’re soft and warm - Roman was always warm to touch. You feel his hand squeeze your own back - still no words being said.

You take a deep breath, feeling the need to break the silence finally, but before you can, Roman cuts you off.

“Please don’t,” his voice came out weak - he was usually so quick witted…he just sounded tired.

“Okay,” your voice was soft - a complete dichotomy to the tone he was used to from his father and siblings.

Another 30 minutes went by in complete silence - the both of your steady breaths being the only thing heard. Your hand still lay in his - he hadn't moved an inch unless it was to gently squeeze your hand every so often.

You turn on your side, slipping your hand out of his - he still didn't move. You decided to move closer to him, laying your head on his shoulder and draping your right arm across his chest that rose up and down with each breath he took.

You studied his face - he looked like he wanted to push you off of him, and yet simultaneously he was aching to pull you closer to him. Your touch was the only touch he felt safe feeling - you'd never hurt him, and he never doubted that thought for a second, but he was just so used to being alone and pushing people away.

You were desperate to hear his voice, to understand what was running through his head. You knew he was probably going to say some stupid quip to hide how he really felt, but you'd see straight through him; he knew this and it was the scariest thing to him - that you actually saw him.

"Ro...," you were gentle - a part of him just wanted you to shout at him and tell him he was a waste of space just like his father had - it was all he knew. However, you were just too kind, you actually cared for him, and not in the way his father cared for him - if you could call it that - but in a way that was so genuine and pure that it felt wrong to him, but he craved every second of it.

His gaze moved from the ceiling to your worried face - you looked beautiful he thought, he had always thought you were the most beautiful person he knew. "Yeah," his voice sounded small and tired.

"Are you okay?" the question was stupid, you knew he wasn't, but you wondered if he'd answer you honestly - if for once he'd be vulnerable with you, and truly let you into what was going through his mind.

"What? Pfft yeah I'm fine, real fucking good...just thinking about who has bigger tits - you or Gerri...I think Gerri does," there it was...he couldn't be honest with you for a minute if he tried - he'd rather say some crude shit and hope you'd be weirded out enough like everyone else and just leave him so he could avoid sharing his emotions.

You sat up, leaning on one hand as you stared down at him while he tried to avoid your gaze which was slowly glazing over with unshed tears. "Roman...please I-...can you just be honest with me?" your voice had a slight shake - scared that you were going to push him over the edge and he'd run.

He made eye contact with you, his heart clenching in his chest, no one had made him feel the way you could make him feel, and that scared him. He didn't know what to do - his mind was screaming so many things at him all at once that he couldn't really make a decision, so he stayed silent.

Several minutes passed of you both just holding each other's gaze then he opened his mouth tentatively, "Why do you care about me? Why can't you just call me a freak or a perv and leave?" You watched as his eyes reddened and glazed over as he tried his hardest not to cry in front of you. Had you cracked him? It felt bittersweet that he might finally just be honest with you, but the pain in his eyes was tearing at your heart.

You smiled, giggling softly as you lifted a hand to his cheek and wiped away a singular tear that had managed to fall, watching as he turned his face to meet your caress - he trusted you. "Because I fucking love you Roman".

"But why?" he interrupted you like a child would trying to understand such a foreign concept that you were trying to explain.

"There's no reason - I mean there is, you're...you. I love you Roman." You were so soft with him, it felt alien to him. It broke you that he couldn't fathom the concept of someone genuinely loving him, and in such a pure way too. This love wasn't like the love from his father, nor from his siblings - it was something so foreign that he couldn't understand it, but he liked it...he liked this.

You laid back down beside him, "Come here Ro...please" your eyes had such a soft stare - they were so warm and inviting, he couldn't object to the embrace you were offering him.

Roman inched across the bed over into your arms, wrapping his arm around your waist and burying his face in your chest, while you wrapped an arm around his back, holding him close to you. You fell into a comfortable silence, holding each other without a care in the world - it was just the both of you.

"I love you too, you know?" he muttered it so quietly that it almost went unheard, but a smile spread across your face at his confession. You knew that he had probably been having an internal argument with himself on whether or not he was actually going to say it to you; without any sarcasm too.

You felt your heart fluttering in your chest and you pulled him closer to you, "Yeah I know". You tilted your head down slightly and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. He went to open his mouth to say some sarky comment, but immediately shut it - he didn't need to feel defensive around you, not now, and not ever.

[l0v3tast3]

SOMETHING LIKE A DEATH KISS | KEEGAN RUSS

keegan saves you from certain death in an active warzone. after some time of being stuck in the same safehouse, he helps you let down your guard.

✎ tags: mdni! nsft, fem!reader, keegan's kinda icky in this, he calls you "kid" among other pet names, unprotected s3x, dirty talk, this is pure smut, loss of virginity

✎ word count: 1.7k words (not proofread)

✎ author's note: this has been sitting in my drafts for quite a bit lol i don't think it's my best work but i wanted to write something for keegan cuz edits of him took over my fyp for awhile (///￣ ￣///)

masterlist

"don't run."

keegan's impressed with you. just a few hours ago, you were so twitchy, eyes flitting every which way and muscles endlessly tensed. the gunfire he'd saved you from had you on constant high alert for days in the safehouse you were both holed up in.

now, you couldn't care less about your surroundings. not when he's sinking his cock into you centimeter by centimeter. the stretch stings, your body and your instincts clashing in wanting to buck your hips into his and wanting to squirm further up the bed. the hour that keegan spent working his tongue against your clit still wasn't enough, apparently.

"c'mon kid, you can take it," he breathes, right into your neck before he sinks his teeth in.

keegan's canines make you whimper and turn your head away, but it helps to distract you from the burning. you really didn't think his dick would fit in you- he told you not to worry about that.

your hands being pinned against the spring mattress is disguised as sweet as he intertwines his coarse fingers with yours. you know he's holding you down with that and his own weight over you to keep you from getting away. he knows you won't even try it, but he's just making sure.

"almost there, princess- doin' so good." more and more gravel grates in his voice the deeper he presses into you, while your voice gets whinier in a way he wants to hear so much more of.

your grip on his hands gets tighter when you realize that his dick isn't all the way in yet. you already feel so full, like your organs are being pushed to the sidelines to make more room for him. tears prick the corners of your eyes from the overwhelming feeling and keegan's lips spread into a bit of a grin when he sees them.

his hands were already getting harsh by the time you told him you'd never had sex. the hold he had on you had just gotten tighter, he'd kissed you rougher and promised that he would take such good care of you.

and he is, keegan would like to think, even when he pushes the last couple inches in much faster than the rest- he just can't help it when your little pussy is wrapping around him so tight and your breath is getting so shaky.

"ah-! kee-gan! haa- please-" you hiccup, brain matter practically melting out of your ears. the plea is a mix of wanting him to stay still and to start moving- you can't think well enough to figure out which option would overstimulate you more.

"aww- hah, see baby? told ya it would all fit- see, it's all here-" keegan's hand pulls yours down between your legs folded over his shoulders to press it down against your lower stomach. a cry pushes off of your tongue at the multiplied pressure. "fuck, gonna have to take you home with me, kid- this cunt was made for me."

the thought of keegan lifting your hips up and pressing his cock into you whenever he wants makes the little air you managed to get leave you lungs quick. if it means you get to feel this lava crawling through your veins again, you'd sit on his lap during the flight back home.

"yeah? hah, you want that? want me to take you with me? sweet girl- don't know what you're in for," he laughs. keegan's starting to creep his hips back, dragging his dick out of you until only the tip remained before he pushes back in a little bit faster.

"plea- mm, please- keegan, slo-w-" it's all you can do to choke out the bare minimum of your sentence when he's picking up the pace.

"what, you want me to slow down?" his patronizing tone is barely hidden. "you were doin' so well, where'd that go?"

keegan doesn't slow down but he stays at the same pace. there's some relief when he lets his hand up from your belly- he lets you regain control of the one hand and you use it to dig your nails into his forearm. you feel him cup the side of your face and he leans down until you're nose-to-nose. he looks smug.

"startin' to like it now, hm? y'just gotta listen to me, princess- i know just how to take care of you."

you know he's berating you for being nervous, but he is starting to become something you'll get addicted to. every time he bullies his cock back into you makes you believe him, believe that he knows what's best.

it's a losing battle trying to respond to him coherently. instead of wasting the little energy your body held onto, you tighten your legs around his waist and mash your lips against his. keegan groans into the sloppy kiss, hand moving to the back of your head to press you further into him.

he would swear that it's unintentional but his hips start smacking against yours, the sound evidence enough of how wet he'd made you. the hand still pinned against the bed is released in favor of grabbing your plush thigh. your knee is brought close to your face and you nearly wail.

"see? hah, what did i tell you?"

keegan's sighed words go straight over your head- he doesn't like that. he snakes his hand around and it grips your jaw, making your hazy eyes move to his.

sweat makes his face shine and his lips are cherry red; keegan's mussed hair and heavy gaze help to make him look almost as wrecked as you are. he leans over you until you can see the satisfaction of control in his eyes.

"what did i tell you?" he repeats. it's slower, demanding- enough to make you open your mouth against his hand.

as soon as you try to make a sound other than garbled moans and whines, keegan slams his hips into yours and keeps them there. the head of his cock grinds into your cervix and you choke on your air, nails drawing blood in his arms, eyes rolling back into your emptied head.

you feel the hand on your jaw jostle you a bit while he whispers patronizing sympathy, "hey, hey, stay with me kid," and "you can take me, princess, bein' such a good girl."

he keeps grinding deep into you, pressing your leg further into your chest- all your whimpers and strained pleas makes keegan's ego visibly inflate. it's something he knows he's already addicted to.

a spit out "fuck" leaves his mouth before he leans back up and effortlessly flips you over before you can even whine. it's no problem for keegan that you're body feels like it's made of jelly; you hips are hoisted up to meet his as he kneels behind you, already pushing his cock back into you.

it feels so different, like he's in your lungs now, your throat and your head. every bit of him invading every bit of you. you barely feel his hand drifting up your spine, until he reaches the back of your neck and pushes the side of your face into the mattress. when you strain your neck you can see his smile.

you cum in the span of the next few minutes, body shaking and back arching while keegan fucks you hard enough to push you up the mattress. he's groaning, muttering out more praises, how tight you are around him, how pretty you look like this, how he'll never get tired of this.

keegan slows down as the white-hot pleasure cools off inside of you. collapsing fully into the mattress, he huffs a laugh and pulls away, smacking your ass before he sits beside you against the headboard.

muscles slowly relax while you lay content- that is until about ten seconds later when keegan easily hoists you up onto his lap. once he has you situated, he lifts you up to line up the head of his cock again. he leans in close until his lips are brushing against yours. every time you try to close the tiny gap, he pulls his head back.

"ah-! you di- mmh- you didn't-?" you stutter as he pulls you down with one hand, the other wrapping around your back to press your chests together. fog still covered your brain, slow to clear; you're surprised when his stamina supersedes what you generally heard about men in the past.

he leans his head back as your hips meet again, a deep moan pulled from his chest. "shit, kid- so fuckin' tight still-" he grits out, already thrusting up into you. a whiny yelp escapes your lips before you're hanging onto his shoulders as he bounces you up and down, meeting you halfway every time.

sparks crackle in your stomach, your nerves still overly sensitive, and before you can even recover from the last orgasm you're about to cum again. he ignores your half-spoken question in favor of watching your tits bounce and groaning filthy words.

the last straw that breaks the flood in you is when he leans you back against his bent knees to fuck into you harder. you lose awareness of everything except him. keegan's keeping you grounded with his hands on you while he makes you feel so weightless, helpless against the pleasure he causes.

a growled "fuck-" is the only warning you get before keegan pulls you tight against him and buries his cock into you to grind into your cervix again. his hips stutter and his body goes taut while he chokes out moans in your ear. weak whimpers still come out of you every little bit, only serving to make his nails dig into your soft skin harder.

"fuck..." he repeats, a calm sigh this time. he lifts his head from your shoulder and takes your face in his hands. "fuck, baby, you're comin' home with me."

keegan kisses you and you kiss him back in agreement.

(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ likes, comments n reblogs are always appreciated!!

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Cooking Up Love, Chapter 4

Pairing: Chef!Matt Murdock x F!Journalist!Reader

Rating: T (for now, might change, probably not)

Story Summary: Here

Warnings/Tags: Hallmark levels of fluffy, cheesy goodness (and speed that their relationship develops, lol), no use of Y/N, Matt is not a vigilante, more tags to come as the story develops

Word Count: ~1600

A/N: Here's chapter 4! If you'd like to be added to the tag list for this story, please let me know!

(Divider made by the insanely talented @theradioactivespidergwen!)

Tag List: @yarrystyleeza @hailey-murdock @mattkinsella @bellaxgiornata @danzer8705 @chezagnes @shouldbestudying41

Early the next afternoon, Ellison called you into his office.

You walked in. "What's up?"

Ellison leaned back in his chair. "I need to talk to you about your article."

Your brow furrowed. You had stayed up half the night working on it (while eating some of what was quite honestly the best tiramisu you had ever had) and had sent a rough draft to Ellison that morning after reading it over. "What about it?"

"Quite frankly, it sucks."

You blinked at him in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"It reads like you literally just transcribed the interview. There's no emotion to it."

"So, what, do you want it in another format, or…" You were hoping Ellison wasn't going to tell you to just forget about it or that he was reassigning the piece back to Kelsie, who was still out sick with food poisoning.

Ellison shook his head. "We need to switch gears. Instead of an interview, I want a full human-interest story." Ellison sat back up. "I want our readers to get to know Chef Murdock as both a chef and as a person. You got a bit of that in your interview, but I want more. Spend as much time with him as possible and do what you do best -- get him to open up to you. Find out what his interests are outside of cooking, how he develops his recipes, where his inspiration comes from. Give me personal details and anecdotes."

You nodded. Your second attempt at an interview had gone a lot smoother than your first -- you had found Chef Murdock had relaxed more the longer the two of you had talked, so you were pretty sure he wouldn't mind sitting down for a more in-depth interview. "Okay."

"Alright, that's it. Get a rough draft of your new article to me by next Wednesday -- that should be enough time to edit before we go to print the following Monday."

"Got it."

Ellison eyed you. "Don't make me regret that raise I agreed to."

You shook your head. "Don't worry, I won't."

You went back to your desk and eyed the clock. You had already been planning on stopping by Daredevil on your way home from work in order to drop Chef Murdock's dish back off to him and was just going to leave it with Karen at the host stand, but since you needed to talk with Chef Murdock anyway... 

You pulled out your phone and sent him a text. Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could come by the restaurant to talk with you for a minute before you open?

A few seconds later, your phone chimed. It's not a bother, and sure.

Okay, I'll be by in about 20 minutes.

Sounds good.

You grabbed your bag and Chef Murdock's dish and popped by Ellison's office again. "I'm leaving a bit early so I can go by Daredevil to talk to Chef Murdock."

Ellison nodded. "Okay, see you Monday."

You hurried towards Daredevil, sending Chef Murdock a text as you approached.

A minute later a man with shaggy blonde hair and a friendly face unlocked the door. "Hi, you must be the journalist from the Bulletin, right?"

You nodded and introduced yourself as you stepped inside.

The blond man smiled and stuck his hand out for you to shake. "Matt's signing for a delivery, but he'll be out in just a second. I'm Foggy Nelson, his business partner."

You took his offered hand. "Oh, yes, Chef Nelson. It's nice to meet you too."

Chef Nelson grinned. "So, I heard you were on the receiving end of Matt's apology tiramisu."

You huffed out a laugh. "Oh, uh, yeah, I guess he told you about that. Does he always apologize with tiramisu?"

"Only when he knows he really screwed up." Chef Nelson glanced towards the kitchen before looking back at you. "By the way, thanks for giving him another chance at an interview. Matt can be prickly but he's really a good guy underneath."

You smiled, thinking about how warm and open Chef Murdock had been the previous afternoon compared to your first meeting. "I'm beginning to see that."

"Sorry about that," Chef Murdock's voice said as he came out of the kitchen towards you.

You turned towards him. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt and black pants with his usual red glasses. It's unfair how damn hot he is , you thought to yourself.

You swallowed. "Hi, Chef Murdock."

"Hi," he replied pleasantly. "So what brings you by? Did you have some more questions for me?"

You nodded. "Yes, but I also came by to return your container to you and thank you again for the tiramisu."

Chef Murdock took the empty container with a grin. "I guess that means it wasn't poisoned, then?"

You huffed out a laugh even as your face heated. "I'm sorry about that."

Chef Murdock chuckled. "It's okay."

You shook your head. "In all honesty though I think that that was probably the best thing I've ever eaten. I'll definitely be placing some to-go orders for tiramisu after work."

Chef Murdock smiled. "It's not on the menu yet because I'm still perfecting it, but until then if you let me know in advance I'll be happy to make some for you."

"Matt makes his own ladyfingers from scratch," Chef Nelson chimed in. "That's the secret."

"Well, one of them." Chef Murdock grinned at you. "There's a few other secrets to my tiramisu that not even Foggy knows."

Chef Nelson chuckled. "And with that, I'm going to go get started on the dishes I do know the secrets to." 

He gave you a brief nod. "It was very nice meeting you."

"Same to you," you replied.

You waited until Chef Nelson had disappeared into the kitchen before turning back to Chef Murdock. "So about my article… I turned a draft of it into my editor this morning and he said it wasn't personal enough, so he wants me to expand it into a full human-interest story instead of just an interview."

Chef Murdock's brow furrowed. "Oh? What does that consist of?"

"Uh, well… usually with my human-interest pieces I spend time with the person I'm writing about, getting to know them over the course of several days, but since I don't want to take up too much of your time I'd probably just have some more interview questions for you, and if it would be possible I'd like to watch you work in the kitchen for a bit? It doesn't actually have to be during open hours or anything like that, and I'll even sign an NDA if you want me to promising that I won't reveal any of your recipes to anyone."

Chef Murdock pursed his lips as he thought. Finally, he nodded. "Yeah, that's okay."

You huffed out a breath. "Thank you so much. I'm free all weekend, so you can just text or call me and let me know whenever is convenient for you."

"Actually, how about we start tomorrow? Meet me here at, say, 8 AM?"

You nodded. "Okay, yeah, that sounds good."

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Thanks again for the tiramisu. It really was fantastic."

Chef Murdock smiled. "You're welcome."

"Okay. Bye."

You turned and walked back into the lobby so Karen could let you out, actually looking forward to seeing Chef Murdock the next morning.

Matt waited until you left then returned to the kitchen, where Foggy was slicing up cucumbers for the dinner salads.

Foggy paused in his prepping. "So… she seems nice."

Matt nodded. "Yeah, she is."

"Pretty, too."

Matt shook his head with a grin. "I wouldn't know."

Foggy chuckled. "Mmhmm. Sure you wouldn't, Matty. That's why you were totally flirting with her just now."

Matt's brow furrowed. "I wasn't flirting."

"I know your tells, Matty -- you like a girl, you cook for her." Foggy dropped his voice into an imitation of Matt's. "'Oh, I can totally make you tiramisu even though it's not on the menu, no problem'."

Matt shook his head. "She's writing an article about me -- of course I'm going to be nice and offer to make tiramisu for her again. Which reminds me, the editor at the Bulletin wants her to expand her interview into a human-interest story." 

"Oh hey, that's awesome, man. A full human-interest piece will be great publicity for the restaurant."

Matt nodded. "We're going to meet up tomorrow morning to discuss it."

"Couldn't wait to see her again, huh?"

Matt shook his head. "She wants to watch me cook, so I'm going to have her accompany me to the farmer's market then give her a small cooking demo here afterwards before we start prepping for tomorrow night's service."

"Ah okay, cool."

Matt turned his head towards the receiving door. "Josie's here with the wine order."

Foggy set his knife down as the doorbell rang. "I got it."

"Make sure she's got the Frangelico I added to this week's order, will ya?"

"Sure thing."

Matt sighed to himself as Foggy left to go receive their order. The truth was that he actually was looking forward to spending more time with you. You were kind, and funny, and endearing, and according to Foggy, 'pretty', which admittedly made Matt curious as to what you looked like. 

He shook his head. He needed to keep things strictly professional between the two of you. The last time he was interested in a journalist it almost cost him his career and he wasn't going to make that mistake again, no matter how much he was beginning to trust you.

[partyanimal167]

The New Guy- Shanks x F!Reader

Okay! So I finally finished my Crocodile fic that took me forever to write. SO~ my drafts are empty, and I'm writing this as a result of my dilf poll. I haven't written for Shanks so I'm interested to see how this is going to go... (EDIT: now posting months later lol)

CW: modern au, black fem reader in mind, mdni

That's a grown-ass man, me. Leave him alone. You're making up shit in your head.

You were just minding your business at work. You had been there for a little over a year and getting comfortable in your assistant manager position. You were a bit young for the role, but you were confident in most of your abilities.

It was a Monday morning , and everyone seemed to be on their toes. For weeks, there was talk of a corporate level director that was going to be helping out for a while. It wasn't for your department, but one that you worked with often. You didn't stress it really.

But that Monday tiredness hit you hard because you really shouldn't have slipped on that small puddle in the lobby. Your life flashed before you, and you tensed in anticipation for the hot coffee cup in your hand to soak your blouse and burn your skin.

However, that never occurred.

The man gave you a warm smile and wink before setting you back on your feet. You thanked him and walked away quickly to run from the embarrassment.

You fell back into gentle strong arms and a face that reminded you of the men who bought your friends drinks and never asked for anything in return. The ones who you would giggle and whisper about.

You were typing away at your desk when you heard the commotion approaching and saw a small group of people walking around and chatting. You joined your manager by their desk and asked about it.

"The corporate guy is here." The group arrived, and you saw the handsome man from earlier.

The group stopped by and introduced him. You exchanged introductions and figured that would be all.

That was not all.

In your mind, corporate meant uptight and strictly professional.

Shanks was silly, a flirt, and somehow found a way to be in your department every day, multiple times a day.

Soon enough, you loosened up enough to the point where you dished out sly remarks about Shank's age and shitty game when he was making another comment about the boyfriend you kept telling him you didn't have.

You didn't think that much of him until one day he rushed out of the office, and no one knew why. Until you heard that he bought a last-minute ticket to check in on his daughter who was sick in the hospital. You realized that Shanks had his own priorities and responsibilities so of course he wasn't just an old flirt. It was...attractive--you guessed.

You brought him a coffee when he came back and asked how he and his daughter was doing. It was a simple gesture. You left it at that.

He didn't.

Soon, you were starting to get some more recognition for your efforts at work and were invited to an appreciation dinner with some other people--including Shanks.

He praised you for your work, and maybe it was the alcohol but the words made you melt and softened.

So the two of you got drinks afterwards.

And maybe your hands weren't to yourself, but Shanks didn't say anything.

Work went on like normal...kind of. You couldn't stop yourself from getting flustered when that old man stopped by and flirted with you. You couldn't stop the impure thoughts of how Shanks was so unserious but could handle business--professional and personal.

And it was oh so hard to keep quiet when you were getting showered in praises and kissed everywhere in the supplies closet because it was hard for Shanks too. He needed to show how good he could make you feel and how he couldn't resist you.

But don't worry. Even if you struggle at work with him, Shanks will bring you over and let you make as much noise as possible.

The new guy was really trouble.

[inkofamethyst]

September 8, 2024

It's been a minute.

In brief: first week was good; finished my hair in three days and it's alright; worked deep into nights to finish the costume; ren faire was amazing!

First Week: I'm getting the feeling that I will have a decent amount of downtime to dedicate to my research and improving my lab skills this semester compared to last year. I was stressed about several things, but they turned out alright in the end. One thing was the primate class I'm taking. I don't have much primate behavioral background, but this class seems like it will mostly just be reading and discussion, so a super super chill seminar (no papers or exams, either!!). I was also worried about the new responsibilities that are lumped onto second years, but they seem manageable, especially with such a "large" cohort.

Hair: they're essentially mini twists with extensions, so I generally like the look of them, but I think the extension quality is lacking. It did take me two additional evenings to finish, but they should be good for at least another two or three weeks. Next time, I may try marley hair.

Costume: I was in the library makerspace for five hours last week to do the main machine-sewing bits. It would've been six but a friend had a last-minute birthday gathering which I forfeited my makerspace reservation to attend (I don't regret that choice, though!). While I couldn't finish everything exactly as I'd hoped to (the bottom hems on the chemise are raw (but I cut/tore them straight across so I wasn't too worried), not enough time to add the ruffle to the chemise (and I wasted like an hour at the machine prepping it before realizing that I still needed to work on the bodice), no "boning" in the bodice (which ultimately was probably for the best, as the canvas interlining was HEFTY (potentially too hefty considering the event lol)), ran out of lining fabric for the bodice so the back pieces are unlined (I was using scrap to begin with, and I'll likely go in and use scraps from the chemise just to cover those back seams)), it still managed to look REALLY COOL. I am SO PROUD of what I managed to accomplish in just a week. GAH I felt so pretty. Even despite all the incomplete bits and things I would change. Every time I looked into a mirror yesterday I would just beam at myself because I felt so good!!! I managed to complete all of my goals (chemise, bodice/corset, skirt hike) to a passable degree, and it brings me so much joy to think about. I did that!!!

Ren Faire: The faire was so good. Plenty of activities, plenty of shops, plenty to see, plenty to eat. My dnd group plus my turquoise-friend were all there for a birthday celebration, and it was a grand time. I got to try archery, I failed to eat a turkey leg by myself, I yelled my throat raw cheering for my assigned (and particularly bloodthirsty) old man knight during the jousts, I tried (and loved) raspberry mead. While my turquoise-friend and I hunted for elf ears that'd match out skin tone, we couldn't find any and instead each bought some gorgeous filigree elven ear cuffs. I adore mine and want to wear them everywhere omg. It was all-around just so great, and I totally want to go back next year.

As I was roaming the faire, it became clear that my outfit wasn't really anything special at a glance. Bodice, chemise, skirt, belt. While, yes, that was my goal, I did take some time to reflect on whether hours of designing, drafting, basting, machine sewing, and hand sewing were worth it to look almost exactly like every other bar maiden/tavern wench who bought a costume from amazon or spirit halloween. I think the answer is that it was worth it, even if the costume wouldn't pass a true seamstress' close inspection. There are absolutely elements to mine that are unlikely to be found in mass-produced versions, even ones that "look cooler". Certain seam finishes, the amount of fabric used (esp in the skirt omg), specific time-intensive design elements, even if they look simple (the sleeves are based on Jester's and are my favorite part of the whole outfit). Plus, I have something I made! That I'm proud of! That I enjoy wearing! The design process was fun, far more fun than scrolling through etsy or something. So, yeah, it's not about the complements. It's way more about the feeling I get while wearing it and how that impacts my faire experience.

For next year, I'm going to try to add elements to the outfit that give it more character, sort of like environmental storytelling, but with accessories on the body.. Will I be a tavern wench who moonlights as a royal assassin? Will I be an herbalist's apprentice who works at an apothecary and is hoping to finally brew a love potion, or perhaps a budding necromancer longing to bring their loved one back? A floral fairy who's been transformed to human size, or a bloodthirsty berserker queen? (The Renaissance Faire maybe isn't the best place to try out these ideas, as it's heavier on the historical side of historical fantasy, but maybe what I need is a larp that's heavier on the fantasy side.)

Today I'm thankful that last week was a good week! I'm thankful that my classes seem okay and that I managed to finish my costume (mostly) and that I had a lot of fun at the faire! I'm also thankful my turquoise-friend was with me at the faire. This will absolutely be a fantastic grad school memory.

Also special shoutout to the nyx eye pencil in icy blue (or something like that). I went low makeup yesterday but randomly picked that up the day before to help my eyes match the blue elements in the costume, and it stayed on all day. Impressive for a budget item.

[icedmetaltea]

Hi! I just finished reading Special Treatment and I wonder, do you remember how you planned to end it? You can ignore this ask if you don't feel like talking about it.

It's all good! No worries no worries *patpat*

Pretty anticlimactically tbh... No matter how many times I wrote out the draft it didn't seem right. Not good enough for the amount of time I put it off ya know?? Like there was too much hype and I wasn't equipped with the know-how to make it, ya know, good.

There was gonna be two endings: 1. One that was gonna be a sort of crack fluff ending where y/n gets tricked into marrying them via some contract. They stay at the daycare and decide against leaving (well not like they can but they're more cool with it) and live happily ever after~

2. Another that was the "canon" ending where there was gonna be a play. It started out with Y/n waking up to some ready made breakfast and getting to chill while Sun was down setting things up, and since they wanted to surprise Sun/Moon since it was their "last day" n all, they decided to go back into their room behind the platform (weird floor plan) to do some cleaning, as it is strewn with toys, craft supplies, dust, all that jazz... low and behold they find their broken phone/keycard in the closet while looking for a mop and put the pieces together. Sun/Moon find them, mess with communications so the daycare remains closed but Kai gets an email that they're holding a special play just for y/n to see them off since it's their last day so he comes... Wondering where y/n is (they're tied up upstairs lol) but remains unsuspicious. The curtain draws, boom y/n is up on the castle platform, their arms tied above their head with a flashlight strapped between their wrists so it's pointing down toward the stage. Sun/Moon would be acting out the scenes via the use of said flashlight (... since they were shakin real bad watching Kai fight for his mcfucking LIFE they had a pretty hard time controlling it). Sun would act out the scenes of the "daring prince" while Moon would be the "evil wizard" or something and each time Moon got his moment in the not-spotlight he'd creep toward Kai and eventually "accidentally" break a couple of his bones with their bare hand and possibly (probably) kill him.

Ofc in the end no matter if it was Sun or Moon in control, that guy would be toast. Rip Kai but tbh you were a pervert to y/n anyway sO IT'S FINE (Author justifies murder more at 5)

But yea after all that, it's kinda implied y/n is just gonna be kept there from now on till le good old fashioned Stockholm syndrome kicks in and they can be trusted to go back to helping out with daycare stuff. Sun/Moon again messed with communications so they like sent an email to management and the outside world that y/n changed their mind about quitting.

Rather dark! But I (and I take it some of ya'll) happen to have the specific fantasy of wanting to be kidnapped by yandere robots and have all my needs taken care of and never deal with any adult responsibilities and be loved to an obsessive degree SO it all works out~

[slut4thebroken]

“I’m not scared of you” “You should be.”

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader Summary | reader is just being a brat lmao idk Warnings | sexual content, 18+, knife play, fear kink, choking, bondage Words | 1k Notes | so this was a draft that I didn't finish but I read it again recently and it lowkey slaps lol so I decided to just post what I have and if enough people ask then I'll write more lol. Ao3 link | <3 Masterlist

"Technically this was not how you intended for this night to go. Being a brat wasn't your original plan but... you can't resist making him frustrated... making him snap. It usually ends well for you. Or bad depending on how you look at it. But alas here you are.

"Kneel." Bucky's arms were crossed and his legs apart, trying to stand in an intimidating way. You're not going to tell him it's working though.

"Why should I do that?" You mirrored his stance.

"Because I told you to. You don't want me to tell you again." You rolled your eyes and his fists clenched.

"No." You smirked at him and his jaw clenched this time. Bucky took a slow step toward you, eyes never leaving yours. When he took another step your confidence faltered. On his third step you started moving backwards.

Have his muscles gotten bigger? Cause it looks like it. Every once in a while you remember that Bucky could probably kill you with just his pinky, not that he would, his mind is free and even if it wasn't everyone knows he could never harm you. But as someone with a fear kink, it's nice to think about in times like this.

Your back hit the wall and you dropped your arms to your sides, still trying to maintain eye contact. He wasn't touching you yet but you could feel his body heat and his breath fanning across your face.

He showed no emotion as he watched you. Eventually you broke eye contact and looked at his chest. You swallowed then willed yourself to look up again.

"What was that?" He had a small smirk now and he moved his right hand up to the wall beside your head.

"I-" you took a deep breath, trying to look confident, "I said no." His smirk widened and he looked at your lips, then down to your chest, his height allowing him to see down your shirt. Your chest is heaving and you know he knows you're scared. He hummed quietly then brought his eyes back up to yours.

His metal hand was on your neck, the cold pressure surprising you and making you gasp. Bucky used his grip on the sides of your throat to push your head into the wall.

"I told you you don't want me to tell you again. Are you sure this is how you want to play this, doll?" You held back a whimper and tried to calm your breathing.

"I'm not scared of you."

Bucky leaned closer and you started to close your eyes, expecting a kiss, but he stopped. Lips just barely touching yours.

"You should be." He whispered. He yanked your head forward and you let out a startled cry. Bucky walked across the room, practically dragging you by your throat, and threw you onto the bed like a rag doll- well your nickname is doll isn't it?...

You scrambled to the head of the bed, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible, but he seemed unfazed. He sighed as he watched you.

"Baby... the night started so well, you were being such a good girl. And now..." He looked up and down your body "you're acting like a fucking brat." He started walking to the dresser and opened the drawer.

"That's okay. I like breaking you. And by the time we're done, I will have turned you into a sloppy, desperate, begging mess." You saw him take out rope, a ball gag and something else that he hid in the rope so you couldn't see it.

"I'd like to see you try." You said, with a confidence that suprised even you. Bucky looked at you, smirk still on his stupid beautiful face, and started walking to the bed.

"Don't worry, doll. It shouldn't be too hard, you break so easily for me." His voice was condescending and you hated how that made you even wetter. "Lay down." You watched as he stood next to the bed and put everything down onto it.

"N-no." Your confidence is very quickly disappearing. His smirk was still going strong as he kneeled on the bed.

"Thought so." He sighed. Bucky grabbed your wrist and you protested, trying to get him to let go. However he took your other arm and held it to your side, then kneeled over your body to hold you still as he tied your wrist to the bed. He quickly moved onto the other one, then to your ankles.

When you were fully bound he kneeled on the bed between your legs. You started squirming, testing the stength of the knots... which unsurprisingly was very strong.

Bucky reached into one of his pants pockets and pulled out a knife. You knew he carried it on him almost everywhere he goes, mostly out of habit, so that wasn't what made you gasp. Instead it was when he brought the knife up to the top of your dress and cut it straight down the middle.

"That was expensive!" You whined. He shrugged and cut the shoulder areas so that he could take the dress completely off of you. Once he threw that to the floor he moved the knife to your bra.

"Wait-" He cut that the same way he cut your dress. "Bucky, wait-" you started as he moved to your underwear. He paused and looked at you.

"Let me ask you something, doll. Which one of us is currently holding a knife?"

"...You." You said quietly.

"And which one of us is currently tied to the bed?" You rolled your eyes and looked away from him.

"That's what I thought. Now it doesn't seem like you're in any position to be making demands right, doll?"

"Whatever." You pouted. He quickly grabbed your face and turned your head to look at him. His grip hurt your cheeks and the cold metal made you shiver.

"Baby..." he clicked his tongue, "that doesn't sound like any way to talk to someone who has you at knife point does it?"

"I'm not scared of you." You repeated. He smirked again and moved the knife to your neck.

"You should be." He whispered.

[christianbalelover]

I'm back :)

(sorry if this is worded weirdly and doesnt make lots of sense, i'm kind of dizzy and nervous ) heyyy guys, so i literally left for like months and i dont know if anyone really noticed or something but i just wanna come here and give an update on my situation.

The reason i wasn't for all this time is cause i got kidnapped, it lasted for about a month and it was both me and my mom, i know this sounds fake and all but it like actually happen and even to this day i can't believe it happen.

The reason this even happen was cause i lived in a very very dangerous area and i even got warned to move out months prior but my parents decided to stay cause we had a really good house for a low price (i know it sounds like a lame excuse to stay, i thought so too but my mom insisted cause she said it was her dream home). It was thankfully only for ransom and even now i don't know how much said ransom was cause my dad never told me, i guess he didn't want me to worry but all that i know is that it was a lot.

It went better then i expected cause the kidnappers were surprisingly nice and gentle but that still doesn't excuse what they did but i'm happy i at least got lucky in that aspect, they fed us and gave us water but it was still a pretty small amount so we were really dehydrated and didn't feel well most of the time.

The day we got released was probably the best day of my life, i still feel like crying whenever i remember how it felt hugging my dad again after i thought i'd never see him again, or how everyone looked so happy to have us (me and my mom) back. I'm obviously not saying every single thing that happen as it was a very traumatic experience but also cause i don't want people i know to recognize me but what i'm saying is basically the summary of what happen, it was really rough and scary and there were so many times i though that this was the end for me but at the end i made it and i'm feeling better then ever, i haven't gotten therapy yet (still waiting for it, mom said she'll put me in therapy soon) so i still struggle with ptsd but over time its honestly gotten better and its way better then when i first got released cuz during that period it was so bad that every time i heard a slightly loud noise i panicked and thought i wanna get kidnapped again, yeah it was really rough but i always felt to scared to tell anyone cuz it felt embarrassing to tell people that, like i felt like they'd think i was weak yk?.

Its been a good amount of time since that happen now but i never came back to my account cause i wanted a break, but i finally felt ready to come out about it now. I honestly never thought i was important enough to even be a victim of something like this tbh so it was such a surprise for me, also something thats really crazy but like literally MINUTES before i got kidnapped i actually came here and i made a whole post saying i was scared cuz my parents werent safe (my grandma told me they were in trouble but i didn't get that she meant that my mom got taken and my stepdad was in trouble) but i never posted it cause my grandma interrupted me so i just saved it to drafts and like 5 minutes later while i was just sitting in my room waiting to get picked up, we heard someone coming up the stairs and then i got taken, i'm not gonna post it cause when i made that draft there was too much information on me and my family and where live and just allot of private stuff i can't post here but maybe I'll take a screenshot and like blur out something so you can see a little bit of it cause its just that crazy but just let me know if you want me to post it and don't be afraid to ask cause i really don't mind doing that and blurring the important stuff out.

Its crazy cuz if i had posted that, you guys wouldve probably known about my situation like days after it happen. This was super long and probably didn't make lots of sense lol sorry i'm just really nervous and don't really know what to say also i'm sorry if i said crazy to many times i js realized i like overused it.

I just wanna clarify that i'm doing better now and i also don't know if i'm gonna immediately gonna start posting again but i want abandon my account cuz i love this account so much so im gonna still stick with it. I love you guys so much and stay safe <333

[peachyghuleh]

Okay ghesties I've been away for a while (for good reason, a masters degree is haaaard) so here's a draft I've had in my Google docs for months lol, this is one for my anxious ghesties who get nausea when they're anxious ❤️❤️❤️

~750 Words

Based off @cirrus-ghoulette 's whump month prompt 20, about 7 months late lol

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For a while now car rides had made me feel nauseous. I was never prone to travel sickness so that wasn't the issue, it was my anxiety, feeling trapped in a space with no way out.

"Ah cara, there you are! We've been looking for you!" Copia greeted me, followed close behind by Primo. "We're headed out to grab some things, would you like to join us?"

"Yeah that would be great, thank you for thinking of me!" I replied.

We headed out of the front of the Abbey together and got into Copia's car, Copia driving, me in the front, Primo in the back.

"Fratello, put some music on please" Primo shouted from the back. "Opus Eponymous of course."

"How about we ask sorella, si?" Copia said as he turned to me, smiling "you pick cara, what would you like?"

"Ooh okay, if I can pick then I choose…prequelle!"

I heard Primo sigh in the back which made both myself and Copia chuckle. We finally set off to the soundtrack I had chosen, making our way through windy roads lined with trees.

I could feel the anxiety building, burning in my chest. My chest felt heavy and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. The anxious feeling kept building and building until it felt overwhelming…suffocating.

Primo must have sensed my discomfort from the back "sorella? Are you okay?"

"C-can we pull over? I don't feel good…"

"Satanas, are you okay?" Primo asked from the back.

Copia quickly pulled over at the next opportunity and I got out, feeling completely overwhelmed and on the verge of a panic attack.

The two brothers got out right behind me, clearly worried for my well being. I couldn't stay still, I had to move, I just had to. I began hyperventilating, nausea creeping up to the back of my throat.

Primo grabbed my shoulder, trying to keep me still long enough to find out what was wrong but I just couldn't stay still. I paced around, trying to regain some semblance of control over what was going on with my body.

Copia intercepted my movement and pulled me into his chest, stroking my hair. "Cara, everything is okay, we're here."

I began sobbing uncontrollably, feeling utterly defeated that I couldn't even go for a car ride without feeling awful. Copia continued stroking my hair and talking to me, trying to get me to calm down. Eventually, the panicked feeling mostly subsided, although the feeling of nausea persisted.

Once he realised my condition had improved, Copia released me from his grasp "feeling a little better cara?"

I nodded lightly, still reeling from the effects of my panicked state.

"Sorella, you look pale, please, sit" Primo motioned to the passenger seat of the car.

I hopped onto the seat, sitting with my legs out of the car, fiddling with my fingers out of anxiety.

Copia knelt down in front of me and placed a comforting hand on my leg. "Tesoro, would you be comfortable telling us what set that off?"

"I-I just felt a wave of anxiety and then I-I just felt nauseated. I'm sorry…I just couldn't deal with it anymore."

"Oh cara, please don't apologise, you have nothing to apologise for" Copia assured me.

"Yes, mio fratello is correct, you've nothing to be sorry for" Primo added.

"I feel sick" I mumbled.

"Are you going to be sick?" Copia asked.

"I don't think so, it's just anxiety nausea."

Copia took my hand and began rubbing small circles with his fingers, it was comforting. "Do you often feel anxious cara?"

"I've always been anxious, it gets worse when I go out though, car rides are especially hard for me, I guess I just feel trapped."

"Sorella…why didn't you tell us? You know we would do anything to protect you." Primo told me.

"I didn't want to be a burden." I put my head in my hands and sobbed again.

"Shh shh cara, it's okay. You could never be a burden" Copia placed his hands on my legs.

"Sorella, I have many plants in my greenhouse that can help with nausea and general anxiety, how about I show you when we get back, si?"

"I'd like that, thank you Primo" tears pricked at the corner of my eyes, I felt loved.

"Would it help to have the window open in the car while we drive?" Copia asked.

"I think that would help a little, thank you"

[aster-wright-writes]

Find five lines

Thanks to @museandquill (I don't know how to link posts; I'm sorry)

Rules: post five lines that match the given prompts, then change one prompt for the next people.

(All of these are from the same book since it's the current thing I'm hyper-focused on; it's also still a first draft, lol.)

A LINE THAT IS SHOUTED

From: The Bone Tree trilogy book one (Elwin"s POV)

"you sent assassins after me?" I say, the anger boiling up through my body; I try to keep control; this is the king; I can not yell at the king. "I knew you would survive." he tries to explain himself, but it only makes me even more angry. "the traveling rulers needed to know that our kingdom was strong, that we had a powerful person by our side," he says something again, but I cannot hear what it is nor can I bring myself to care. "YOU TRIED TO KILL ME AS A DESPLAY OF PHYSICAL STRENGTH?" the acusation fires out of my mouth, I cant stop it... I don't want to stop it.

A LINE THAT INCLUDES A LIE

From: The Bone Tree Trilogy book one (Elwin's POV)

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asks with a look of worry.

“It’s nothing, Blake. Don’t worry about it.” Blake looks at Elwin, suddenly annoyed.

 “My love and my Lord, what is the one thing I made you swear by the grace of your late father when we began to court each other?” Elwin sighed.

“To always be honest with you no matter what it is.” Blake smiles and turns to look at him.

“That is right, my love. All we have is our truths and without that we are nothing, so tell me what is bothering you. You did agree to always be honest with me, that promise still holds true does it not?” Elwin turned to face him, finally meeting his eyes.

“Yes, it does still hold true.”

A LINE ABOUT FRIENDSHIP/ROMANCE

from: the Bone Tree Trilogy book 1

The two burst into laughter and ran to each other smiling. Elwin jumps into Blake's open arms and the two kiss as they fall onto the soft ground below them. As they embrace Elwin lets go and stares at him with adoration in his eyes. Blake laughs as the two move to the shade of a nearby tree “What are you looking at?” 

“My favorite person.”

A LINE ABOUT A DRINK

from: the Bone Tree Trilogy book 1 (Elwin's POV)

Elwin smiled at the news. “Good thing there's lots of wine available for this party. I know Konrad has trouble playing his best when he’s of sound mind.” everyone laughed, Konrad most of all; he sheepishly rubbed a hand through his dark hair. “Well, if I remember correctly, your grace, you are quite the terrible dancer unless you have some drinks of your own.” the tall and handsome man fired back quickly. “Then maybe we both should try to keep the drinks flowing tonight.”

A LINE ABOUT A VEHICLE

from: the Bone Tree Trilogy book 1 (Elwin's POV)

The carriage rode smoothly along the road to the castle. The curtains had been drawn so no one could see inside. Elwin nervously adjusted the broach he was wearing. While he did look remarkably like his dear sister, he was terrified of getting her mannerisms wrong. As he gripped the seat, flowers began to bloom where his hands were. He pulled his hands away, frightened, wondering if they would give him away as an imposter. e tried to calm himself and think this through; his sister was his best friend, and this wasn't the first time he had tried to disguise himself as her to trick the castle staff. He just had to be good enough to fool them; he just had to be good enough to fool the high king.

your lines: A line that is shouted, a line that includes a lie, a sad line, a line said to a family member, a line said to a villain or antagonist

tagging @lo-p-art @ough-me-bones @sparklecatworld @davycoquette @possibly-in-wonderland

[ay0nha]

Fate’s Sacrifice | Stephen Strange (Request)

Request: “reader doesn’t remember that she’s with stephen and he has to basically help her get her memories back”

Pairing: Stephen Strange x femme!reader

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST AND YOUR PATIENCE. The reason this stayed in my drafts was because I thought I was too vague, too wordy, couldn’t think of a title, and started a story line I didn’t know how to finish that strayed from the request sorry lol. Plus I’m a sucker for Stephen being in doctor mode, sue me.

If anyone has a better title name lmk.

Enjoy.

She had no dreams. At least ones she could remember. It was like her body was protecting her from seeing things that she shouldn't see. It was like they were always on the tip of her tongue, a small semblance to let her know there was something there, just deeply hidden.

Yet, there was always a feeling there; a feeling of someone familiar.

"This is the third time this month, Stephen, it should not go on," The voice spoke softly, but the threat was unmistakable. However, the voice wavered the more it revealed, "You're torturing her."

"Do not-" The other voice raised through emotion he clearly tried to hold back, "This is what she wanted."

"It's not right," The other voice was gruff, unwilling to budge.

"And you think I enjoy this?"

"It doesn't help that you keep scrambling her brain."

"They're coming after her, this is the only way to keep her out of this," Stephen all but bellowed, a volume he rarely took with his companion, "She's a sitting duck without our help."

"We cannot intervene."

She thought that maybe she had finally been able to dream, but with the warmth from the crackling ring above her, she knew she was fully awake. She looked into a room that wasn't hers where two men stood firmly arguing. Beside them a young girl with a look of worry on her face as she frantically tried to close the portal in front of her.

"Stephen-

"Not now, America," He hadn't bothered to look at what she needed him to, only continuing his arguing.

"Stephen-

There was something pulling her forward. Something that caused her to quietly move until her bed sheets were no longer tangled around her ankles. Her eyes were wide with wonder as she stepped through the portal, refusing to blink too afraid the image in front of her would disappear.

The atmosphere was cold and it could be felt deep in her bones. It was like coming home to an empty house that needed some warmth. That needed her.

"Sorry, I just..." The insincere apology tumbled out of her mouth because it was the only thing she could think of to fill the silence that fell over the others that stared back at her.

She knew this was far from a dream. It was happening more often when she'd wake up hearing a soft crackling. Living in a city warranted strange noises happening all the time, but this one felt distinct. She could pick it out with ease. It was like a pet scratching at her door that just wouldn't leave her alone.

Then there were the other times. They were always small openings where only she could see to the other side and see who had conjured the ring, but it was never big enough. Soon she learned about the novice on the other side, but she'd never been this close to crossing over to the other side. She knew at a moment like this it wasn't a good idea to go through the mysterious portal, especially when it had closed behind her, taking her only escape away from her.

"You cannot be here," One of the men spoke to her, pushing the two others behind him as he took her by the arm to escort her out, "This is no place for you."

"I-I-

"It was my fault, Wong," The young girl went running after him, "Every once and while when I  you know," She held up her hand pretending to open yet another portal, "It's her on the other side..."

America was confused by Wong's demeanor. He was far more patient with her learning than Stephen was. She wasn't sure who the woman was or why she had rattled the two others so much, but she learned in her few months of training to never question the universe.

However, Stephen always did, particularly when it involved her.

---

"We've got to stop meeting like this, Dr. Strange," Her smile blew wide at seeing him on the other end. It was rare for his portals to open to her. The pull was usually exclusive to America or even on a unusual occasion, Wong.

His voice was dull, full of feigned annoyance as he saw her on the other side, "You've got to stop being an anomaly."

At least that's what Stephen called her. It was the easiest way to explain to her why the sanctum always willed her back. It wasn't all a lie, but it wasn't even close to the truth.  It also helped mask his own confusion as to why his spell didn't seem to stick the way it was suppose to.

However, it was still what prevented her from connecting her past to the man standing before her, "When are you going to let me help figure that out?"

"You're going to get me in trouble with Wong," He tutted characteristically as if trying to ignore his own desire to welcome her help.

"I think you manage to do that on your own," She stretched out her hand, seeking his to help her into the Sanctum side of the portal.

He missed her wit. He missed everything about her and it felt like a piece of him died every time she returned. Her presence never angered him, but he needed to keep a facade to keep her at arms length.

When he reached halfway forward to help her through, he finally noticed her surroundings, questioning it immediately. It differed from her usual environments, "How did you get here?"

"What?" She looked behind her to the place she'd just left. It was like she had just blinked back into consciousness, not even realizing where she was herself.

Once Stephen had her securely behind him, he peered over the ring again. It was dark and cold, seemingly cavernous, but it was no doubt a deep, forgotten part of the subway. The echoing drips were the only thing that could be heard and it was too dark to really see anything beyond what the ring of light the portal provided.

"What is this place?" Stephen asked, feeling the cool draft that almost made him step further to investigate. As much as he liked to claim he was all knowing, he had yet to come across something quite like this.

Her eyes seemed hesitant to answer, like she wasn't sure herself or too scared to reveal how the place made her feel. His eyes studied her face, understanding almost instantaneously what had happened, but he didn't give her a moment to catch up to his actualization.

"How did you get there?"   His finger pointed harshly to the opposite end. His look turned just as harsh, trying to make sense of the woman who stood before him.

"What do you mean?" She instinctively turned defensive, stepping back from him. It was as if she was moving away from him entirely, as if in a moments notice he'd reach for her with a malicious intent and leave her where she had shown up from.

His eyes softened for a moment as he stepped forward to meet her back within the Sanctum, trying to ease any anxiety she held,  "Do you know what this place is?"

"Should I?"

"It's-

"Stephen!"  The two flinched like teenagers being caught sneaking in past their curfew. Wong bound towards them with determination, "Close that, now."

Without hesitation, the portal was no longer.

"Look-" Stephen attempted to squash any misunderstanding, but Wong had already cut him off with a caution of his own.

"I have warned you against this-

"Wong, this wasn't intentional-

"You are not supposed to bring her-

"I didn't, she was already there."

Wong paused, recognizing the doctor's veracity. The entire situation bothered him. From the start his advice was never followed. He wanted the best for her, but there was only so much the two in front of him would agree with at the time. Now, he understood just how much of a necessity it was to have their lives so intertwined. The universe was making that plain to see, even if it defying the natural order of things.

"How long has that been going on?" Wong's attention finally turned towards her, interest peeked in worry.

They teetered around the topic, but never held back with the interrogation. It never failed to make her waver.

"I-I don't know," Her words stumbled out as she tried to find her voice and offer the truth.

Her eyebrows furrowed in her own confusion. Her mind felt foggy when she went to think back on it. She struggled to remember how she had gotten there. Minute by minute, the more unsettled she became.

"She isn't safe," Stephen's voice was low and held a new tone full of protectiveness, "She should be here."

Wong looked at him in agreement, but didn't dare let the words pass his lips. He looked between the two before saying, "Just leave me out of this."

She hoped to take advantage of finally spending longer than a handful of minutes in the sanctum, but she struggled. She felt like she was floating throughout the rest of the day. Anything that was said to her felt lost upon her. Everything seemed dulled and far from her touch. All of her senses followed suit. It felt like a fever dream, where she wasn't all there, but neither were her surroundings.

The building was mystical, but something felt different when she entered. It felt like the building was living and breathing on it's own. The drafts within felt like small whispers to her that she strove to decipher. Her daze only broke when a pitched noise pierced the silence and caused her ears to ring.  She followed the sound to it's source and stared into the deep red of it's center. She thought if she reached forward and touched the deep red relic she'd find her answers

"Don’t!"

She hissed back in pain, her hand feeling a burning sensation in it's wake. She pulled her hand to her chest when Stephen stepped closer to inspect the damage. He wanted to say more, reprimand her to trying to touch the ancient item, but it worried him more the way fear had settled in her eyes.

"What was that?"

"The relics are..." Stephen knew what her question really meant, but he navigated expertly around providing her the answer she actually wanted. He drew in a breath of explanation, "Finicky things...you never really know if you'll get along or not."

"Right..." Her confusion stayed present on her face and her eyes were anywhere but his. Stephen could see turmoil behind her expression. It was yet another unknown that would keep him up at night.

"Are you alright?" He reached for her hand to see any remnants of the burn. It was a selfish move on his part, but he was just desperate to have her close.

She stayed quiet, waiting a beat to gather herself. Stephen bite his tongue for the moment, waiting for her to answer, but he could see the red of her hand and how one wrong move would have her running for the hills.

His eyes were cast down as he inspected her hand, but the flickered up briefly while he asked his question, "Where did you go?"

Stephen wanted to know where her mind was in it's fragile state. It hadn't gotten past him that she had been off. The thousand-yard-stare gave it away and stayed throughout the time she'd been under the same roof as him.

On instinct, he wanted to blame himself. But just as fast he wanted to find the easy solution. Yet, both would need to wait, her state too delicate to be tampered with.

She shook her head like trying rid anything lingering in her mind, "Nowhere."

Stephen didn't push further as he conjured up things to help relieve the pain of the mystical burn.  It truly wasn't bad, nothing a few days wouldn't clear up. But he needed to know his care would help her. It was the closest he could get to feeling useful to her.

"You’re a doctor, right?" She spoke quietly, afraid to break Stephen's concentration, "I mean, well, before this."

"Yes."

With his thumb, Stephen held the gauze down on her wrist. After a few circles around her wrist, he brought it across her palm, passing her thumb, and around the back of her hand.  Then he held onto the tips of her fingers before he passed the white fabric along her thumb again creating a cross and followed this pattern a few times to secure the burn.

She added lighten to the conversation as she joked, "I've yet to see the credentials."

The process of wrapping her hand was like muscle memory; something innate within him to care for her.   He slowly took his time to place everything perfectly secure, as if savoring the moment before pulling his diploma out of thin air.

"So readily available," She teased further. Holding it in her available hand, her eyes filtered over the paper, "This happen often?"

"What? That people ask me to prove I'm a doctor?" His sarcasm came back naturally. She nodded, her smile becoming teasing to mirror his, "No, just you."

It was almost identical to how she had first asked him all those years ago. Her curiosity never ceased. And currently, she looked at him like she hadn't forgotten him completely.

She recognized the way he looked at her, like he saw her a certain way others didn't. She wanted to question it, but there was also a plea she recognized in his countenance. One that begged her to just remain present for just a moment longer.

"I have this feeling that Wong hates me." The statement rolled off her tongue before she could really think of another way to phrase what was eating at her.

On the contrary. Wong and her had been close friends, long before Stephen had ever shown up on the doorstep of the Kamar-Taj.  The two were thick as thieves, getting into all sort of otherworldly trouble. With her around was the only time other than Macau that Stephen had seen him let loose. She was better for everyone.

"He just takes time to warm up to people," Stephen dismissed her slightly, willing any excess items away.  It wasn't a wrong assumption as Stephen experienced it first hand, "I've know him all these years and I've only just now moved out of acquaintance territory."

There that feeling was again. That sense of familiarity that would settle comfortably in her chest. It was in that moment that she realized what the common factor of the doctor in front of her. It was as if he'd always known her and always knew how to comfort her with his sense of humor.

"And you?" She watched him just as carefully after the latest thought, "Think we can be friends?"

Stephen eyed her fondly for just a moment before answering, "If fate allows it."

[babytaes]

The Kickback

summary: What happens when your long-life crush's secret is discovered? In hopes of not wanting him to find out, what do you do... nothing.

pairing: dk x female reader

genre: fluff, slice of life, crack lol.

warnings: profanity

word count: 3k

a/n: today is my birthday and I wanted to share this one that has been in my drafts for so long. this campus life is stressful but I’m finding time to upload here and there. I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night. Much love from Babytaes! :) Also I really didn’t read this over sooo... if it doesn’t make sense. Take it up with corporation. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Dear diary, I saw my crush today. I saw him in the living room after my brother invited him over with another friend. It's not as if I'm scared of him. I've spoken with him numerous times. I mean, I'm almost fluent in his language, lol. Seeing him and hearing his boisterous laugh was still entertaining. I'm wondering if he'll be at the kickback this weekend; if so, maybe I'll have the bravery to approach him. Okay, goodbye journal, love y/n.”

Your life consisted of short, insignificant interactions with him; however, when you had a crush, life was exciting and unpredictable. Since you're so near to him on a daily basis, your crush increased exponentially as you couldn't control your intrusive thoughts.

Yes, you did think of him, probably 25/8. It's not like you didn't know him, but you only knew the head version of him. And we all know they could be two different people. So the only thing left to do is keep it secret.

It's impossible for your secret to come out when you're the only one who knows about it. Right? Unfortunately, this isn't a movie, and your secret was revealed, and the perpetrator was none other than your arch-nemesis, Boo Seungkwan.

Okay, not quite that far, but you and him frequently collided because you and him could never agree on anything. He's just Boo, and he has his own behavior category.

He was the second-to-last person you wanted to find out about, after your crush, of course. From this point on, your life was not going as planned.

Your secret would never be revealed to Lee Seokmin, and you would do anything to protect it.

“What are you doing?” You leapt to your feet as you hurriedly closed your diary, terrified of prying eyes.

You rolled your eyes and stuffed your journal into a drawer with random papers, saying, "Shit, why don't you ever knock."

“Well, this is my shared dorm, and you're basically free living here,” he chuckled. You gave him a sidelong glance.

He was right.

“Is that a way you treat your twin? Is it now.”

He strolled away, completely oblivious to your yelling, and into the kitchen.

“Shut up, and get your ass out here we have to go shopping for the kickback. If you’re not out in 10 I’m leaving your ass.”

Great sibling love, what more could you ask for.  As much as you know that this is the way he expresses his love, you still got up and started getting ready for the day despite his warning.

Amidst your constant disagreements with him, you still loved him. The only problem was that you had to keep your love interest hidden from him. You could see it now and the big brother trying to protect and all that annoying shit.

You were old enough to take care of yourself and you didn’t want unruly men to ruin something that you wanted for so long.

“Coming, if you leave me, I'll tell Mom.” And I think we can all agree that I am the favorite twin.” As he slammed the fridge door shut, you could hear his huge scoffs.

You hurriedly grabbed your purse and beanie as you dashed for the door, laughing at his tantrums. He had a habit of leaving you behind.

We will not speak of March 5, 2017.

“Hey, wait up,” you said as you ran to his car and jumped in before him, grabbing the aux before him.

He started the car and sped out of the dorm parking lot on his way to the store, saying, "You're such a pain in the ass."

“Oh, don't act as if you don't love me.”

“Whoever said I did must have lied to you. Mingyu laughed as he accelerated through Seoul's crowded streets.

The jokes, the laughter, and the love were all part of the experience of living with one of the biggest Kpop groups.

You wouldn’t have it any other way!

While listening to your playlist, the song "Come to You" perfectly complemented the mood.

You smiled as you passed many streets and watched the busy lives of many different people. You could say you had an imaginative mind.

We arrived at the store a long way down the road, grabbed one of the carts, and proceeded to a separate aisle of the store.

Buying stuff was always expensive with a party of 13 and more friends on the way. Almost everything had to be doubled, and the meat had to be tripled. When throwing a party, everyone is required to provide a dish.

You didn't seem to mind; after all, you weren't paying, so you just chilled on the cart while you watched Mingyu placed the goods in neatly.

You told Mingyu to grab a specific chip as you walked to the chip aisle, and he furrowed his brow.

“What are those? I've never seen them before.

"Dokyeom likes them," you blurted out without a second thought. As you mentally processed what you had said, you stared at him with wide eyes.

Shit.

“When they're not there, Dokyeom and Soonyoung get upset.” You shook your head and scooted by him, tossing two bags into the overflowing shopping cart.

“Oh-okay I guess you can get them.”

As you pushed the cart toward the cashier, you mentally slapped yourself in the face. You were certain that you would not crack.

The ride home was silent as the only noise was the continuous taps from Mingyu's fingers on the wheel.

Mingyu called wonwoo on his phone as he drove up to the dorm and asked him to help with the groceries.

As you heard Mingyu pout over the phone, he refused, and not even minutes after, wonwoo is strolling down the driveway on his way to the car.

“You shouldn't even have picked up I know I wouldn't"  Wonwoo pushed your shoulder and chuckled at your humor. “I know”

“Heyyy I'm right here,” Mingyu began to sulk as he observed his sister speaking without him.

You and wonwoo both chuckled as you gathered your belongings and began walking away from Mingyu.

---

The days went by slowly as you reached the door. It was time to leave the house. You grabbed a jacket and purse. Today, the boys went to Hybe for a quick practice session before heading out for the weekend.

Because you are such a good friend and thoughtful person, you decided to buy them a few drinks as a gift. It wasn't anything special, you didn't want to see anyone, noo.

It took some time to order everything, especially with the large number of 13 items. Since you've known each other for most of your lives, the drinks on the list haven't changed. Ice Americanos and Frappes were the most popular drinks.

As soon as you arrived at the Hybe building, you swiftly grabbed the bag containing the drinks and proceeded to their floor. You finally made it to their practice room after thanking the employees for their assistance.

Slowly pushing the door open, you drew the attention of almost everyone as they turned to face you. As a number of them raced over to you and took the beverages from you, smiles crept across their faces.

As they sipped their drinks, the room was filled with thank yous and hellos.

The voice of an angel said, "Thanks again, y/n." He gave you a short smile before returning to his practice. Oblivious to people around you, words spilled out.

“Fuck, he's so attractive.”

“Whose good looking?” As you slowly turned around, you heard a voice speaking to you from behind you.

Fuck

It's Boo Seungkwan. He smiled at you as he grabbed a drink from your hand. He cocked his head as he sipped it, and his eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you said dokyeom is good looking, no fucking way.”

As you coughed to relieve the high tension in the air, you started to mentally sweat.

“That's insane, I said the room was in good condition," you said as you slapped his shoulder and shook your head.

Come on, y/n, that didn't even make sense.

“You know you're not going to fool me, y/n?” Afraid that someone would find out, you dragged him into a back room and locked the door behind him

“Shit..shit..shit. If you tell anyone, I swear I'll -

Laughing, before raising his eyebrows after taking a sip of his americano, he cut you off.

"You're right, this is important information. But you already know that I'll keep my mouth shut about the situation. I don’t even know what we’re talking about right now.”

Seungkwan heard dokyeom announce that practice had resumed as the door opened. Before he left, he smiled at you and waved goodbye.

“Y/n and dokyeom in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. As you were about to leap across the couch to silence him, he jumped up and ran out of the door laughing.

All of a sudden, your mind was filled with confusion and paranoia.

It became increasingly difficult to watch them practice as the session progressed. Your thoughts were not positive, and your attitude was slowly deteriorating.

Imagining the worst-case scenario. You paced in the back room when you heard a knock at the door. As you mentally prepared yourself, it caught you off guard. While walking side by side, Hansol and Seungkwan were whispering.

“Did they know?” You didn’t want anyone to find out so you ran, and didn’t stop running. To avoid society, you hurried out the door after saying a quick goodbye to the boys.

The goodbyes were not even heard as you hurried out of the Hybe parking lot without looking back. In a small group, information spreads quickly. And he was bound to find out.

Flushed and worried, you staggered into the dorm room. You knew your secret was going to get out eventually. In the case where Hansol and Seungkwan knew, Joshua is likely to know.

And since Joshua is close to the older boys, Seungcheol and Jeonghan know. The news would then spread to Hoshi, and then the entire performance team would be in the know.

The only remaining candidates are Mingyu and dk. If Mingyu finds out, it's game over for you at that point.

There was no point of living any more. Having completed a full loop of the house, you had come to your room for the final time. You slowly melted to the ground and fell out.

Dokyeon is more likely to know if Mingyu knows.

"What went wrong?" Unable to control yourself as you rolled around the floor, you erupted into a tantrum.

You sat up and shook your head, "I'll just have to leave the country," you said. "Man, you're so smart. Your plan y/n is fantastic."

You ran to your room, grabbed your suitcase from your closet, and began tossing things into.

No need to pack everything since you were only going to be gone for a year. As soon as your adrenaline slowed down, you began packing.

(A few hours later)

You were relieved when your clothes fit into your luggage when you had finally done packing. You were on your way now, and as long as it wasn't here, everything was good.

“Ah, I figured it out; now let's book it.”

When you approached the door, you unlocked it, and we were greeted with a pleasant surprise.

You walked up to the door and opened it, where you were greeted by Mingyu and his gang. Outside the door, you could see him, hao, dk, and wonwoo. They stared at you as they looked you up and down, perplexed as to why you appeared to be departing.

“Um, what is going on and where are you going?” Mingyu reacted with a rejoinder of his own.

Your throat felt as though it was clogging up, and you began sweating furiously under your armpits. Thank god for hoodies.

“Well, I was simply going to visit a friend's house,” you explained.

You knew he wouldn't believe you; he knew most of your friends, and they didn't live that far away for you to be carrying that much.

“First, that's a lie, and second, I need to speak with you, so your "buddy" will have to wait.” You sighed and closed your eyes.

Your escape had to wait.

Mingyu took your suitcase and slid it near the door, while the other members shuffled awkwardly into the room. While the other lads sat in the living room, Wonwoo went to his room.

“Maybe I could escape now?”

“What did you say y/n?” minghao said as he glanced at you.

You waved your hand in front of them and did a walk of shame to your room as you physically and mentally prepared yourself for whatever Mingyu had to say.

So much for your crush now.

Mingyu sat on the edge of your bed, arms crossed, staring at you.

“Sit down, he patted the bed on your side before lightly coughing.

"Some rumors have been going around, so I wanted to clear the air."

Seeing what he was about to say made your heart race, and you couldn't take it any longer. Does anyone else hear their loud banging, could Mingyu hear it?

You leapt to your feet and shouted at him before apologizing on your knees.

What a sight to see, a grown ass woman on her knees apologizing to her twin brother.

“I apologize; I should have told you first, but I was afraid you'd tell him. That's why I kept it a secret and plus dating a member of seventeen. That's dangerous enough-“.

Mingyu's "WHAT" cut you off.

You came to a halt as he got up, slowly staring up at him.

“Wait, weren't we discussing my crush on Dokyeom or something else?” Worries began to creep in as sweat began to accumulate on your brow.

“What the fuck, you have a crush on do-?” you exclaimed as you jumped to your feet and tackled Mingyu to the ground.

“Don't say it so loudly; he'll hear you.” As Mingyu began to pace around the room, as he pushed you off of him.

You could see his anger as he panicked, and his small rage tantrum was truly uncomfortable because he couldn't communicate his ideas to you because he was afraid of his companions' sensitive ears.

He pointed to the door and said, "Wait, so you do have a crush on him." You sighed, shaking your head.

As he walked away from you, he had another outburst.

Everything is now turning to shit, this was your only chance.

“I have to escape” you said as you dashed out the door and to your suitcase. Mingyu was standing behind you, staring at you in terror.

It wasn't in the plan for you to fall on him, but it was still nice. Focus y/n.

“I’m sorry, dokyeom; it was my fault. I didn't realize you were there. “Are you okay?” As you extended your hand to him, you pushed yourself off of him.

“Yeah, I'm OK, are you okay?” he asked. You've had quite a tumble.”

“Yeah I’m good, I live with a clumsily brother so I’m fine”

“Hey!"

You swiftly let go of each other and placed your hands behind your back as you became embarrassed.

“Hey, Seungcheol texted the group chat and said he wants to go out to eat. He said whoever can come.”

The boys instantly got ready as they wanted to eat, food is a great scapegoat. As you saw them exit the dorm, you took a step back and found your way back to your room.

“Is leaving still an option?” you murmured into your pillows, plopping your exhausted body on your bed and overthinking life.

---

You rolled over and looked at the clock, which reads 9:30 a.m.

You turned over in your bed, unable to yell, and trudged to the bathroom to make yourself presentable.

“What have you gotten yourself into, y/n?” You stripped off your clothing and stepped into the hot water after turning on the shower.

You didn't spend much time in the shower, but today you were engrossed in how your plan had devolved into this ordeal.

Resting your head on the tile as the hot water traced down your back, you contemplated on what the HELL you were going to do.

*BANG BANG*

“Y/n hurry up, we have to prepare.”

Hearing Mingyu's voice drew you back to reality as you turned off the water and got out of the shower, unlocking the door and letting him in.

“Hey, no snarky remark?” he said as he watched you walk to your room with your head down. You ignored him as you closed the door and prepared for the party.

It didn't take long for your calm disposition to be noticed, since you were the outspoken one. Even if you tried to fake it, it didn't work out.

You grinned as you walked through the background of Seungcheol and Jeonghan shared housing, looking at the celebration.

There were groups of people near the pool, at the grill, and even by the chairs, as you could see.

“Hey, bring the food inside; I'll take the meat to cheol,” mingyu said, shaking your head as you picked up the bags and headed to the kitchen, where you recognized some familiar faces.

“Y/nnnnnnnnn, heyyyyy, I’ve missed you.” When you saw her, you put the bags on the counter and hugged her, smiling into her embrace.

“It's great to see you again, yeji; how are you and the rest of the group doing?” Are the others here?” As she led you back outside, she interlaced your hands in hers.

You saw dokyeom and a few other people descend the steps before you left, as he waved and gave you a quick glance.

As you reach for a drink from the cooler, your heart begins to race. Something had to be turned off if you wanted to make it through the night, and this was the only way.

You took a sip and coughed loudly as you followed Yeji to the poolside.

It was going to be a long night for you.

---

As you and a group of individuals began to dance uncontrollably, the effects of the alcohol in your system began to show as you staggered to the grill.

“HeEeeyyYY, Wheeeere d'ya think yeeeeer goin’?” you slurred, jabbing a finger into seungcheol’s back

The other members laughed as they glanced at you, plainly detecting your intoxication.

“I forgot how drunk you can get, so why don't you take a break,” your overprotective brother says, making you scream within.

He always did this.

Gerroff me!” you said. “I’m ash sober ash ’m gonna git. And nuffink I - wait wait wait - nuffink you can do ‘boutit.” As you ambled back to the kitchen without so much as a hiccup in their direction, they laugh.

As you struggled to reach the door, you fell forward and were grabbed by a hand. As he lifted you from your imminent doom, his hold felt warm. With your eyes enlarged, you focused on the individual and stared at his face.

As you grabbed on to him, your words tumbled out of your mouth, “Ohmygoshimsosorry.” He drew you closer to him by taking your hands in his.

Saying your heart was racing was an understatement, it was literally pounding out of your chest. You were hand in hand with your crush, who you believed was exceptionally attractive and talented, and you wished he knew more about your sentiments or could somehow fill them.

But you know no huge idol like him would go for you. Feeling that made you sober up real fast as you felt your arm being pulled upstairs, you had no idea where you were going but it looked like someone's room.

Dokyeom eased open the door as he sat you on the bed and went to get some water from a little fridge. He handed it to you and sat next to you.

“Thanks”

“No problem, also I've been trying to talk to you all night but you appear to be occupied.”

As you took a sip of water, your heart began to beat faster; “waitttt, we donthavetotalk. Let’s dance! As he chuckled at your erratic movements, you began to wander around the room, pulling your hands into yours.

The alcohol was definitely making its way out of your system.

As he spun you around, his body in tune with the music, the bass of the song could still be heard. Even though this felt like a dream you didn’t quite care at the moment. Was it because you'd finally met the boy from your dreams, or was it because he wanted to meet you in person?

Your connection with him got stronger by the second, as did your heartbeat, which began to rise steadily with it. You couldn't keep stalling any longer; you needed to listen to what he was saying.

“I think I'm sober up for now,” you said as you let go of his hand.

Dokyeom chuckled before tossing his head back, “I didn't realize you could move like that” he said as they sat back on the bed, a little closer than before.

“I guess I learnt a few things along the way when you're friends with the best dancers out here.” As you finished your sentence, he peered into your eyes, making no sound as the room fell silent.

“Soo, what did you want to talk about?” you awkwardly state to relieve some tension in the air.

“I don't know how to explain it, but I kind of heard your "secret" as it passed through the practice room, and I simply wanted to be the first one to tell you about it because-

Your heart stopped pounding as your world came crashing down around you. You didn't want to hear it; the rejection; you'd rather live in your fantasy world, where you don't have to worry about anything. It wasn't true if you didn't hear it.

“Wait, if you can't reconcile those feelings, don't say anything; just let me go.” They're probably curious about our whereabouts anyway.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards the door, but you were pulled back by his hand.

He kissed you as swiftly as his hands linked with yours. You were taken aback at first by his passion, but you regained your calm and reminded yourself of what was going on: he was really kissing you, and you were really kissing him, and the rest of the world was inconsequential.

You were chilling on the outside while shouting for joy at the top of your lungs on the inside, as if your inner child had been set free. You had to be sure if this was a dream or if it was happening in real life.

“Ouch”

“Why did you do that?” Dokyeom asked as he gripped your arm in his.

“I had to double-check that I wasn't dreaming; this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me.”

“So you're saying I've been in your dreams?” he laughed as he cocked his head to the side and placed his hand in yours.”

You smacked your forehead and shook your head, realizing you couldn't get out of this one, and now he knew you fantasize about him. You didn't mind because the lad of your dreams was right in front of your eyes.

AND HE WAS HOLDING YOUR MF HAND. It was clear that your diary needed to be updated.

Stopping at the door, you placed your palm on his chest and worriedly stared at him.

“Wait, how did you find out?” 

“Well, a tiny birdie was chattering loudly about it, his name rhymes with coo,” he said as he grabbed your hand in his and opened the door and began the walk downstairs.

“Fucking Boo Seungkwan”

[marichat-verse]

Mist Memories

Leo Valdez x reader for his birthday ahhhh (even though it's angsty) with a platonic/developing jason x reader cameo at the end (lmao im sorry i couldn't help myself 😭)

Based on this picture I found in pinterest + also [kinda] based on traitor by olivia rodrigo and omg i really recommend u guys listen to this edit because it reminds me so much of this fic that's been stuck in my head for MONTHS also kind of a run away with me prologue lol

Your POV

I nervously made my way across the forest until I reached a limestone cliff. I knocked on the iron door, not really expecting to get an answer.

My boyfriend has been shutting himself in Bunker 9 for the past few weeks. I stood there counting up to seven before knocking again. I knocked again two more times, until he answered in the middle of my last knock.

He removed his goggles and winced as sunlight hit his eyes. He'd grown thinner and paler, making the dark circles in his eyes more pronounced.

"Oh, Leo..." I reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from his face, but he moved away.

"What are you doing here?" He said in a monotone voice.

I moved to walk inside the Bunker, brushing off his hesitation to let me in. "I'm your partner, remember? And I'm really concerned because you're shutting yourself out lately. You know everyone's starting to worry about you. Percy asked me to check on you because you missed pegasus riding with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jason's coming back from Camp Jupiter soon. I was hoping you and Annabeth could be with Piper while Percy and I hung out with Jason because it's been a little awkward since their breakup. Plus Piper wanted to tell you something—"

"Please," he said forcefully causing me to stop and look at him. "Just... Get out."

Normally, he'd shut himself from the world for a few days to work on an important project or because he was feeling really sad and he needed space. But this was getting out of hand. He had never locked me out of his life when I offered to help him. He was never this mean when he asked for space. I was not having this attitude of his.

"Okay, Leo. I tried to play nice. What is so important that you blow off all your friends for nearly a month that you can't even tell your partner, or maybe say hi to your best friend who's coming back from the other side of the country?"

He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and avoided eye contact. I scanned he room for any signs.

It was messier than usual with all the crumpled paper scattered on the floor, especially on his desk. He could have been drawing up new plans. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right. There were no new unfinished projects, indicating that he wasn't starting a new invention. Harley's helicopter lay on his bench in the same state it was weeks ago. Huh, not even his siblings could enter the Bunker.

I turned and Leo was already changing Festus' oil. I took this moment of distraction to pick up a few pieces of crumpled paper on the floor and on his desk. I had to process the words a bit longer—too long that Leo took notice. Damn dyslexia.

I heard footsteps speed up behind me, but it was too late. I read enough and got the gist of what he had been trying to do these past few weeks.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me. Small embers started to erupt between his curls.

I laughed dryly. "So this is what you've been up to?"

His fists tightened, further crumpling the paper in his hands. His eyes flashed with anger, despair and confusion.

I sighed and focused my eyes on his desk, not daring to look at him any longer. Under some pieces of paper were old photographs of him and Piper from Wilderness School. Yup, those definitely were the mist memories she had with Jason. I read the latest draft he'd been writing:

Dear Piper,

Remember the mist memories from boarding school with Jason? They were real, but they were with me.

I miss you. I miss when it was just us. I miss the night on the roof.

Yours truly,

Leo Valdez

I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "How long?"

I heard him sigh. "Three weeks."

I balled my fists. Tears started to fall and smudge the ink. I wiped them away as fast as they came.

"How?"

"In a dream," his tone softened now. "Hera came to me in a dream and told me to check an old drawer in Bunker 9. I found the photos and the memories came rushing back."

"How long were you dating back then?"

"Two weeks."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Silence; then a deep breath.

"No."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because I knew you'd get upset like—"

"I meant why would you throw away months of our relationship for a couple of weeks of your relationship with her? And without even bothering to tell me? Gods damn it, Leo. We've been together since you've first arrived at camp. And what about those promises you made when we were sailing to Greece? You've been keeping these feelings away from me and you've been lying to me, making me believe that there's still something between us and—"

"Oh, calm down," he said with an annoyed expression and tone, which only infuriated me more, "it's not like I did anything were her yet! I didn't kiss her or tell her how I truly felt for her! She just got out of a relationship with Jason around the same time I had that dream. I had to figure out how to talk to her about it. I've been alone in this Bunker for three. Fucking. Weeks. I didn't cheat on you."

"Oh, and that makes everything better?" I countered. "Being in a relationship isn't about not cheating, Leo. It's about being honest and communicating with each other."

"Oh, like you've been communicating with me? After the war, you take go back to Manhattan for school, and you take a job. I haven't seen you much during the holidays because work has been keeping you in the city. And you won't tell me what you even do for a living!"

I took in a deep breath. "I told you I needed to have a life outside of camp! I needed to know first that I could handle myself in the mortal world as a normal human being. I needed this demigod part of my life to be separate as much as possible! I've been in two wars, Leo. I needed time to myself, too. And I was about to tell you guys in a few more days. But I guess now, I'm glad I've kept you out of that part of my life. At least I have an escape from all of this. And now, especially from you."

I took another deep breath and walked to the door, about to let myself out. I turned back again, both our tear-stained eyes meeting each other.

"If it makes you feel any better," I said softly, "I would've hated the idea of us breaking up. But if you really love her, if you really feel like you have this special connection to her and she makes you happy, then I won't get in your way. You could at least have had the decency to talk to me so we could have left on a good note."

He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly regretting his actions. I sighed and looked around the Bunker, possibly for the last time. Lots of memories were definitely created in this room; all just as grand and meaningful as the inventions they made here. But just like some of Hephaestus' contraptions, some of them were flawed and dumped in his scrapyard, no matter how much potential it could have had.

"Goodbye, Leo."

I sat on a rock on the beach that gave me a beautiful view of Long Island Sound. To my left, the sun started to set, casting an orange filter on everything. My heart broke, remembering how everything glowed orange in the Bunker. Leo always left the fires burning when he was working. The sunlight twinkling against the sea reminded me of how small bits of flame peaked through his hair earlier. I remembered how mad he was at me. Or maybe he was mostly mad at himself.

"Hey."

I jumped when someone sat—or rather, landed—beside me. I turned and smiled, seeing one of my good friends back at camp.

"Hey, you're back," I said weakly. "How long have you been here?"

He smiled at me, although he could maybe sense that something was wrong. "Half an hour, maybe? I saw Annabeth making plans to expand camp to have a city. She made me do an aerial inspection and I told her I'll get back to her tonight. That's when I saw you."

"Mhmm," I mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again, knowing he was just waiting for me to open up.

"I broke up with Leo."

His head quickly turned to me. I guess he wasn't expecting it to be that bad. "What?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Turns out the mist memories Piper had in Wilderness School with you? They were real. But not with you."

His eyes widened. "Oh... With Leo."

"He locked himself in the Bunker for weeks trying to write a letter. It was heartbreaking. Like, truly heartbreaking. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much he missed them. Then he said how much he missed that night with her under the stars and... It hurt. Like hell."

"Oh," he said. "I guess Piper didn't tell me everything then."

"She knew all along?"

He shook his head. "Maybe not everything, but she told me she's been confused about her feelings lately and she'd been having visions or dreams of possible old memories that were messing with her head."

"I'm sorry about you and Piper," I said.

"Don't be," he said. "I understand her. It did hurt, though. But I think I can get over it some day. We're still awkward around each other, but at least we left on a good note."

I scoffed. "Leo couldn't even give me a good ending to our relationship."

"Hey," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're a great person, y/n. You've done so much, especially for him. It's his loss that he was stupid enough to let go of you."

"I know that."

"Do you really?"

"I do!" I said. "I'm a great person and I know that. But that doesn't mean what he did doesn't hurt me."

"I know," he said. "You'll find someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. You're a great person, and I'm not just saying this to cheer you up. I truly think you're amazing."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. And you'll find someone great, too. Maybe not as great as me but, then again, who is?"

We both let out a laugh. The conch sounded in the distance, signaling dinner. I moved to stand up before hearing Jason speak up again.

"Hey, do you maybe want to just grab a couple of plates and eat out here?"

I smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good. I don't really want everyone else hounding me about the breakup right now."

I don't know how long it was going to take me to get over Leo. We really did gave something special. It was cruel how the universe gave me something so good, to make me have hope that something was finally going right, then have it yanked away from my arms just as suddenly as it came.

He never cheated on me, but that didn't mean he didn't betray every promise we made to each other. I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has always played cruel jokes on me.

Then again, who's to say that things won't turn out for the better, right?

•••

Tagging: @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @beingleft @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi, I uh, sent you a bit of a dramatic ask about having been working on a story for 6 years and how I felt it wasn't good enough... well I was kind of having a crisis when I sent that so idk its flaws were just exaggerated to me? but upon looking at the story with a calmer/clearer head... it's not that bad, actually, and there's some good things in it too so... you don't have to answer my original ask if you don't want to. unless you think it would be beneficial for others to read. sorry lol

We All Have Bouts of Self-Hypercriticism

Actually, I do want to share your original ask, because I do think it’s important for people to see how your feelings toward your story changed over the course of a couple of days.

I've been working on this one story since I was 15. It's gone through tons and drafts and revision over the last 6 years, so I was really happy with the finished product when I looked at it last, in about 2018. But I was looking at it today... and all the confidence just drained out of me. Suddenly it looked so juvenile and cringey compared to my current writing, even though I'd been so pleased with it in 2018. The writing seems immature and childish now, even though I'd been proud of how mature and sophisticated it had felt in the past. Now, I don't know what to do. I was planning to try and get this story published, but I'm not sure if I want to. It would be my publishing debut, and if it truly was bad, I worry people may never check out my later works because they'll think I'm a bad writer. Should I rewrite the whole story again? How do you know when to stop improving upon a particular story so that you can share it with the world, but still make sure it's as good as it can be?

Even those of us who’ve been writing for decades still have days (or weeks) where we feel like our work is terrible. That level of self-doubt is fairly common for writers. The important thing is knowing it and figuring out the best way to manage it for yourself. What works best for me is to step away for a few days. When I come back, it’s usually with a fresh perspective that allows me to see things aren’t as bad as I thought, just like it happened for Anon. So, if you start to feel that way, know that it’s probably just run-of-the-mill self-doubt, and that it will probably pass. If it doesn’t pass, it may be worth setting the work aside for a longer period and moving on to something else, then revisiting the other project later.

One other thing about the original ask I also want to address:

I was planning to try and get this story published, but I'm not sure if I want to. It would be my publishing debut, and if it truly was bad, I worry people may never check out my later works because they'll think I'm a bad writer.

If your story was that terrible, it wouldn’t be published in the first place.

Here’s a fact: ALL writers have critics. All of them. The first Harry Potter book has 231 one-star reviews on Amazon.

So, trying to publish a book that everyone loves is a lost cause. No matter how wonderful your book is, there are people who will read it, hate it, and never read anything of yours again. You can’t help that. It happens to everyone. Instead, focus on all of the people who love your book.

Twilight is one of the most famously panned novels in history. It’s often regarded as one of the worst written books in existence, but there are thousands of books that are a million times worse than Twilight. The criticism for this book series turned into hate and got far more attention as a result. But, in reality, 88% of the 9,181 reviews on Amazon are four and five stars. Only 4% are one-star. So, what matters are that more people liked the book than hated it. Those are the people you write for, and honestly, those are the people your publisher will publish your book for. If they think your book won’t do well, they’re not going to publish it anyway.

So, just write the best book you can write. If you have a day or week or weeks where it feels terrible, step away for a little while. Come back to it and see if you don’t feel better. If you still don’t, see if you can put your finger on what’s bothering you and fix it. Figure out what you like about it and do more of that. If that still doesn’t work, set it aside for a while and work on something else. If the story wants to be told, it will be eventually. Have faith in that and your ability as a writer.

————————————————————————————————-Have a question? My inbox is always open, but please make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to make sure I haven’t already answered a similar question. :)