#had to post this again because of a formatting error
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He’s always had it in him.
A continuation of the Pop Rock Floyd series: here, here and here
#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#trolls comic#trolls fanart#trolls 3#tbt#genrequeer floyd#transgenre Floyd#pop rock Floyd#my dumb trolls thought of the day#I just think it’d be funny if calm sensitive Floyd was a bad tantrum baby#he mellowed with age#had to post this again because of a formatting error#my bad#sorry for the confusion!
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((I've been trying to post an answer to an ask for, like, 10 minutes and tumblr absolutely refuses to let me do it))
#ooc.#((There must be a weird error with format or something? I had an issue like this a couple years ago and it was#something small and stupid about the format. I don't remember what though and I don't have time to figure it out#because I have to be up in 7 hours for work.#BUT I'll try to post it tomorrow!))#((Alternately: Maybe tumblr is just fucking up again))
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(taken from a post about AI)
speaking as someone who has had to grade virtually every kind of undergraduate assignment you can think of for the past six years (essays, labs, multiple choice tests, oral presentations, class participation, quizzes, field work assignments, etc), it is wild how out-of-touch-with-reality people’s perceptions of university grading schemes are. they are a mass standardised measurement used to prove the legitimacy of your degree, not how much you’ve learned. Those things aren’t completely unrelated to one another of course, but they are very different targets to meet. It is standard practice for professors to have a very clear idea of what the grade distribution for their classes are before each semester begins, and tenure-track assessments (at least some of the ones I’ve seen) are partially judged on a professors classes’ grade distributions - handing out too many A’s is considered a bad thing because it inflates student GPAs relative to other departments, faculties, and universities, and makes classes “too easy,” ie, reduces the legitimate of the degree they earn. I have been instructed many times by professors to grade easier or harder throughout the term to meet those target averages, because those targets are the expected distribution of grades in a standardised educational setting. It is standard practice for teaching assistants to report their grade averages to one another to make sure grade distributions are consistent. there’s a reason profs sometimes curve grades if the class tanks an assignment or test, and it’s generally not because they’re being nice!
this is why AI and chatgpt so quickly expanded into academia - it’s not because this new generation is the laziest, stupidest, most illiterate batch of teenagers the world has ever seen (what an original observation you’ve made there!), it’s because education has a mass standard data format that is very easily replicable by programs trained on, yanno, large volumes of data. And sure the essays generated by chatgpt are vacuous, uncompelling, and full of factual errors, but again, speaking as someone who has graded thousands of essays written by undergrads, that’s not exactly a new phenomenon lol
I think if you want to be productively angry at ChatGPT/AI usage in academia (I saw a recent post complaining that people were using it to write emails of all things, as if emails are some sacred form of communication), your anger needs to be directed at how easily automated many undergraduate assignments are. Or maybe your professors calculating in advance that the class average will be 72% is the single best way to run a university! Who knows. But part of the emotional stakes in this that I think are hard for people to admit to, much less let go of, is that AI reveals how rote, meaningless, and silly a lot of university education is - you are not a special little genius who is better than everyone else for having a Bachelor’s degree, you have succeeded in moving through standardised post-secondary education. This is part of the reason why disabled people are systematically barred from education, because disability accommodations require a break from this standardised format, and that means disabled people are framed as lazy cheaters who “get more time and help than everyone else.” If an AI can spit out a C+ undergraduate essay, that of course threatens your sense of superiority, and we can’t have that, can we?
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Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled
First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but
This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.
Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.
YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD
I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)
First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?
This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???
Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.
The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR
This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management
A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though
Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.
I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.
Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative
Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!
Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!
In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL
Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!
My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"
I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders
Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.
I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY
Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful
Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company
Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK
We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.
I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.
Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN
First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"
Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?
If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE
Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes
"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."
First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.
"What is the goal of our content?
To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."
That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign
"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"
Gross
"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."
Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors
"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."
It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.
"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.
How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."
If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd
"It’s okay for the boys to be childish
If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"
More favoritism
"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"
Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.
"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."
I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man
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Besties, Im gonna be so for real right now, this turned out to be a little more intense and freaky than I intended. Im currently playing the campaign for Modern Warfare II (reboot) and could not get this scenario out of my brain since I first saw Graves. So uh... warnings for power play, mentions of safe words, over stimulation, multiple orgasms, breeding, creepy graves. Minors Do Not Interact this is an 18+ Post. This was also written on mobile and formatted on desktop so please ignore any spelling/grammar errors, I'm too tired to proof read it and fix it
Thinking about cybersecurity CIA!Operative reader whos married to Price and is brought onto the task force by the Secretary of Defense (so above Shepherds head) to try and find the traitor, the SoD has an inkling that its Shepherd and Graves and its readers job to prove it. One of the ways she does it, because shes young and pretty and knows how to get what she wants from a man, is by flirting with Graves and gradually getting closer and closer to him until she can hack his phone and gain access to his emails. She hates it. Hates him and his arrogance, his cocky smile and the way his eyes always trace over her body and stay too long leering at her tits when they talk. He genuinely makes her feel sick and queasy, and she shivers everytime shes out of his sight after flirting with him.
Price hates it. Hates the way Graves looks at her, eyes always on her tits or ass as if she was nothing more than something to fuck and leave disgarded. He has to clench his jaw and bite his tongue anytime he sees them together, he wants to punch Graves and break his fucking jaw. Wants to take a knife and carve his heart out of his fucking chest. But he doesn’t, because he can't. It would jeporadise everything you had worked for, would jeporadise his team if Shepherd knew his little lapdog had been found out he would have all of them killed in seconds.
But when you come to him after flirting with Graves all day, locking his office door behind you and already stripping yourself from your clothes beginning him to make you forget about every look and leer and touch from Graves, hes all but happy to oblige. He kisses you something fierce, all passion with a hint of danger mixed in, all lips and teeth and desperate panting into your mouth as he sigs your bare ass on his desk one hand already toying with your nipple while the other travels further down and starts to rub hard, rough circles your clit. You were already wet thinking about him, and now it starts to pull, slicking up your tighs and his desk but John doesnt care. It wouldnt be the first time he fucked you over his desk and it wouldnt be the last either. John makes you cum from just touching your clit before he removes his finger and rakes it through your hair, grabbing at the roots and pulling so your neck was barred to him.
He so desperately wanted to mark you, leaving bitea and hickeys over your skin to claim you as his but he couldnt, do he was gentle. Trailing kisses down your pulse point and across your collarbone, down your sternum going lower and lower until his face was in front of your pussy and he dove in like a man starved. Lips wrapping around your clit and sucking harshley, a satisfying pop echoing in the room as he let go. His eyes stared up at you as you threaded your fingers through his hair, "you remember your safe word?" A nod from you is all he needs to keep going, teeth digging into the supple flesh of your tigh as he slowly slid teo fingers into your weeping hole. He made sure to push you to the edge and withdraw, over and over again until you were a crying mess and he had mercy on you, edging you again until again until he finally let you cum. He made sure you came for him 2 more times before he even entartained the thought of fucking you and when he finally pulled his cock out of his trousers (not having undressed yet, wanting your wetness to soak into his clothes) you nearly weeped from the pleasure and overstimulation when he entered you, all the way to the hilt in one go. And there was no way he was stopping until he pumped at least 2 loads into your gorgeous pussy.
He'll make you forget all about Graves, hell when hes done with you, you'll be lucky if you can even remember your own name and don't walk away pregnant.
#cod x reader#cod smut#price x reader#price smuth#john price x reader#john price smut#captain john price x reader#captain john price smut#captain price x reader#captain price smut
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A Doe in Fall (part 5)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall
Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught Part 12 - Eddie
Part 5 Too Much
Actions famously speak louder than words, so what did you say, exactly, to Alastor with your actions that night? You were briefly rattled by what happened in the park but not for the obvious reasons. Despite everything, despite your fears, you found the situation deepening between you two when he suddenly invites to stay the night at his home. Perhaps he had fears of his own?
「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem Burlesquer reader, No smut! That’s next part because this part was already super fucking long 😭 , but we do flirt our asses off and get taken by the hand, crying, panic attacks, discussions of murder, dead bodies, you really have to stop smoking, deer, adorably nervous Alastor, this man owns more than one mug you fucking know it」
19 days later… 😩 please don’t kill me. 5000 words here, Another like 6000 words are posting this Thursday, also tumblr wouldn’t let me post this for like an hour , just gave me error messages, I had to copy and paste 4 times so there may be some errors in here so let me know if you find spelling or format issues🙏
When he came to, momentarily either unconscious or just incapacitated as his brain started up again, he was frantic for his glasses. He could hear the sounds of a brutal death, the crunch of anger, the squish of rage.
His eyes focused now, slightly askew and smudged glasses helping him see you clearly.
Leaning over the man, hands red and face twisted in a marriage of fear and wrath, you were bringing a large rock down on the man’s unrecognizable face over and over and over and—
You flinched when Alastor’s hands delicately slipped down your arms and peeled your fingers from the rock.
Full body shaking, “He was going to kill you!” You said it too loud, too fast. “He was going to—,” Your breath got caught in your throat, “He wanted to— He was trying to kill you, Alastor.”
Wet with mud and blood and the rain still left on the grass, you were pulled into Alastor’s lap. He tucked your head into the crook of his neck with a small wince and hugged you. “He was. He almost did.” Low and slow, his chest rumbled when he said it. “You did such a good job.”
You looked down at your hands, but he pulled your face back up to look at his, “Always surprising me in the best ways.”
You’d forgotten already, how when adrenaline wanes you’re left with terrible tremors and a suddenly clear head. Alastor almost died. You hadn’t thought at all when it happened. Everything had taken place so fast, faster than your brain could process.
You had seen Alastor stop struggling against the man, his body went still and your eyes were blinded with tears, there was a horrible sound that may have come from you, and then there was nothing. A flash of running Colors. Distant muddled sounds.
Maybe you saw someone grab a rock.
You might have hit the man on the back of the head.
You think he fell down and something didn’t stop moving against him.
Perhaps you thought if you hit him enough you could make it have not happened at all. If you killed him fast enough, Alastor would have been fine and standing.
But you weren’t sure. You blinked and Alastor was touching you and underneath you was a pulp of a man’s face.
Alastor’s heart was racking against his ribs. Arms tightening around you unconsciously as his eyes landed on the dead man.
He’d gotten too comfortable. He pushed too hard. He wanted too much. He was too much.
He felt himself spilling over and staining your hands metaphorically and now literally.
You didn’t feel anything. Not during. Now you felt too much.
Your mind was filled with an echoing chorus of, ‘He almost killed him. He almost died. He almost killed him. He almost died. He almost died. He almost died.”
There was a strange fear that Alastor had died, and any second you’d blink again and be alone in the trees with two dead men. You twisted in his lap, hands rocketing to Alastor’s face and gripping the sides of his head. You were staring into his eyes, panting.
“You can’t die. I’ll—,” tears poured down your face in streams not drops. Your throat closed around the words. Short and fast, your breath ran wild. Hands tingling, your lips felt like they were pricked with a hundred tiny needles.
Alastor pushed down his own mess of emotions, “One deep breath in.” His hands settled on yours, still on his face. He could feel the familiar stickiness of drying blood in his hair. “Keep breathing in.” You coughed, shaking your head no. “You can, I promise it. Would I lie to you?”
You laughed, managing to catch your breath for a moment, “Y-yes.”
“Well, now you’re adding insult to injury.” He made a show of rubbing his neck. You smacked his chest lightly, breathing in twice in a row.
He held both of your hands in both of his, “Name a time I’ve ever lied.” He distracted you but wounded himself. He could name a time.
You tried to think. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re just a really good liar.” Your voice was hoarse.
Alastor nodded, “That’s true, there’s actually nothing I can’t do well.”
Another laugh, a cry, “Stop it.”
His warm, clean hands wiped your tears. “You’re being aggressive again, sweetheart. You know I prefer soft spoken women.”
The laughter helped break the cycle of hyperventilating. As your breathing finally got to a manageable speed you felt exhaustion deep in your bones.
All at once the sensations became prominent. Your knees were red and muddy, your hands bloody, your left side and back wet. You were sticky and sore and cold. “Alastor,” his legs were framing you, yours now folded under yourself and digging into rocks, “I wanna go home.” You adjusted his glasses, “Together.”
If he had a reason to say no, he ignored it.
“I thought I was the messy one.” He washed your hands with the water cans and settled you into the passenger seat of his car. Alastor took care of filling the trunk and cleaning the ground before sliding into the driver's seat.
He turned to you, his face dirty and clothes worse. You looked down at yourself; knees a color of wine, and blue dress now dyed brown.
“I know you have to get rid of him. So, I won’t ask you to sleep over. Just,” you felt sleepy, mind asking you to let it catch up, “let me take care of you for a little bit. Okay?”
His hand slipped onto your leg, he wanted to make a joke about sex or murder hoping to make you laugh again. But it was obvious he needed to be quiet, so he just nodded.
Alastor left the car on a side street behind your building. The man whose name you never asked concealed under canvas and red oil tins.
Luckily everything was clean in your apartment. It was small, just one room and a bathroom. The other apartments you’d seen had communal toilets and showers so you were quite proud of your space. You’d made it yours, gifted trinkets here and there, walls decorated with hanging dried flowers you'd had thrown at your feet. A shrine to your abilities.
You peeled off his clothes, tossing them in the kitchen sink and wiping off as much dirt as you could with a damp rag.
Clothing hanging over the radiator, you both got into the shower. Cold and wet now hot and soaking, you took his hands and sat you both down in the tub while the water ran down. Taking your time, you gently scratched the blood and mud from his hair and let it all wash away.
When fully cleaned and dried off he slipped on the only bit of clothing he had left, a loose pair of boxer shorts. You had a slip, silky and soft, to comfort you. Your mother wore silk, and it always made you feel safe. The way the fabric slid around its self and others, never catching or bunching up, was something you always hoped to emulate; smooth and cool, but always in need of a little caution and care.
A small bed meant for one, but you offered it. When Alastor motioned for you to slide in too, you didn’t hesitate.
Nose to nose, the room was quickly heating up with the radiator's help.
You hadn’t been in a bed with Alastor in nearly two months, not since that first time. His words stuck to you like embroidered messages lovingly stitched into a handkerchief you didn’t want to lose. So you kept your hands between your thighs, still and away, to make sure he had space to exist in your bed.
“You saved my life.” Alastor whispered, one of you finally bringing up the obvious.
A hummed acknowledgment, “That makes us even.” He saved you before, you did the same in turn. A little piece of you worried the contract was done and he’d disappear.
“No, my dear. I owe you so much more.” A kiss to your cheek.
A terrifying thought took hold of you. “Roll over.” He looked confused but did. You were always asking him to turn away, always trying to hide your face when you said things that scared you. You hooked your arms under his and held tightly.
“If I wasn’t there, there’s no one to have told me. How long would I have waited,” another torrent of tears into his back you couldn’t keep in if you tried, “at the phone booth for you to call in the morning.”
You were crying like a child, uncontrolled and with your entire body. Pathetic.
He had never had someone to worry about those details. Everyone truly close to him was dead. Until now, of course.
Of course.
What a natural addition you provided to him. He thought it like that it was a long standing fact.
He hugged your arms tighter to his chest.
A shiver of fear in the warm bed as you continued, “I want to be there. With you. Always.” You gathered your courage. Shields completely down, if just for a moment, “I know there was nothing right about tonight but,” you wiped your tears off his back with your palm, reabsorbing that pain before he could soak it in, “Please. Don’t shut me out now. I’ll go to hell tomorrow for you but please don’t damn me to picking up a newspaper and seeing your name in the headlines; Learning you died in block letters for a nickel. I wouldn’t survive it.”
You didn’t want to meet his eyes, worried rejection was waiting for you there, so you’d asked him to turn so you could hide. He picked up your hands and kissed your knuckles one by one. “Please don’t say things like that outloud. Things like ‘go to hell’ and ‘tomorrow’ so close together. The spirits can hear you.” A kiss to your palm, “And I wouldn’t dare shut you out.” He couldn’t. The very idea of going back to how he was before, alone and mumbling to the dead, made his heart race with his own panic. If you disappeared tomorrow he was scared to think what would happen to him. “Plus, I know you’d just find me anyway. You always do.”
Had you not been there, he would have still tried to kill the man. Waiting in an alley or for a walk home through an empty space. You weren’t at fault. He’d been hurt before, but this was by far the worst situation he had been in. But he would have been in it regardless of your participation. Alastor pressed his lips into your hand, smelling the soap you’d washed him with.
You hadn’t hesitated. He had thought you would run, that he’d slip away into death and you’d book it to safety. Something he never planned to ask you to do, to kill someone, you’d done it for him when it was the most selfless option. Did he mean so much to you? He wanted to ask, but if you said anything other than an immediate yes he feared he would turn to a pillar of salt and crumble.
If you both could find the courage to just look at each other you’d have all your answers. But you couldn’t. The fear still too strong. So you changed the topic for a chance at an escape.
A small confession, to turn the conversation away from death. “After our dates, your cologne always lingers on my clothes. Sometimes I just fall asleep in them. When I wake up, my pillow smells like you.” Your body formed against his back, pressing as tightly as you could. How was that less embarrassing than everything else you’d said when it was arguably more pathetic?
He was quiet. You worried you’d pushed too far. Alastor worried he’d already hurt you too much.
“If you asked me,” he spoke slowly, hands resting on yours above his heart, a deep breath, “I’d stop.” He would.
But, “I’d never ask that of you.” You said it so quickly, like blinking or yawning it happened without you needing to think about it. Alastor did something he felt he needed to do, you saw that look in his eyes before and understood this was Alastor at his truest. And the people he killed weren’t good people. He provided a service to New Orleans that no one appreciated.
He smiled against your palm, making sure you felt it, “Why are you so good to me?”
Without hesitation, Because I love you.
After a beat of silence, “Because you know where I live, obviously.”
A huff, “And where you work.”
“And the park where I like to get fingered.”
Finally, his unburdened laugh, “I didn’t expect you to say that.” That sound of his joy bounced off the thin walls around you both. He rarely expected anything you said or did. It was part of your charm. Normally he could predict what people would say like reading a bad story, but you were something else. Effortlessly entertaining, was that a compliment? He was sure you’d say no and make that face you always did, something between a pout and a glare, between sad and angry.
He had been asking genuinely. Why were you so good to him? Why so patient? Why care at all?
“Can you sleep? Or do you need to go?”
Alastor thought about it, if he left early enough he could still get home in time to empty the trunk. He hummed an affirmative, when he didn’t move you understood it was the former. He didn’t want to go. He needed more time. He needed to feel you nearby. An odd sense that if he pulled away now the thread holding you two together would pull him apart at the seams with the distance.
You would think nightmares would plague you after killing someone in cold blood, but no. You practically killed Tommy, when you considered it thoroughly. And while this night was not a joy, you had defended yourself and Alastor. You didn’t feel bad. You didn’t regret it. You were just scared you did a bad job. That you’d get caught.
The kind of dreams you had were different kinds of scary. Of Alastor always leaving a room when you entered, of falling off the stage and landing too far down, of waking up to feel Alastor cold beside you.
When you did wake, your arms were still tight around him and he was warm. Your forehead rested between his shoulder blades. You didn’t feel different this time, you didn’t feel changed like after Tommy.
Alastor always had nightmares so he wasn’t surprised to have them in your bed. He dreamt he awoke on the ground, the man was gone but you were there broken into several pieces.
Had it been a dream though?
After he dressed, you brushing his hair over a shared cup of coffee (you only had the single mug), you walked him to his car. The sun was nearly up and luckily no one else was. You had just wrapped a coat around your slip, not exactly acceptable clothing for being in public.
A shared kiss, small and chaste, Alastor’s mind elsewhere. He opened the door but stopped and turned back to you. It was always in these moments before you two parted that he felt the most frantic.
“I know we love talking in circles and making jokes, but I have to ask you, bluntly. You killed a man. Are you alright?” When you only blinked, he quickly added, “It’s okay if you’re not.” His expression was pure worry, furrowed brows and flat mouth. “Nothing will change if you say you’re not.”
When you started to smile, Alastor thought he had lost his mind. The sun was rising behind you, making the shadows on your face slowly shift. He took a second to take in the scene. Ankles naked with sockless shoes. To your right was a trunk full of a dead man. And you just smiling like he’d made a joke. Which he explicitly said he wasn’t going to do.
“I don’t feel like I killed anyone.” You said it with a levity that made him glance around, wondering if you’d hit your head a little too hard earlier, “I feel like I stopped someone from killing you. Which feels,” you fought to suppress your smile from growing any further, “kinda good. Like I’m strong. I’m just scared I made a mistake and police will find out. I’m terrified we’ll be seperated. But I don’t feel bad.”
A normal man would be deeply concerned. You didn’t feel bad? For killing a man with a rock? Arguably one of the most brutal ways to murder a person. A normal man would worry he would be next.
Luckily for you both, Alastor was not a normal man. He stared at your face, trying to discern any hints of deceit there before he fell into the comfort of trust.
Your pinky came out, “I’m fine, and if I’m ever not, I will tell you. Promise.” His eyes left your face to stare at the tiny digit, “If I break the promise, you get to break the pinky.”
“Pinkies are useless, we should use a finger that matters.” He offered his index. You let yourself laugh, hooking your pointer finger with his.
Smile to smile, he exhaled his stress and slipped into his normal demeanor, “No worries, darling! No one will ever know what happened to him.” He leaned beside you and patted the trunk. “Leave it to me.”
Alastor drove away with the man, ready to disappear the body and try to sleep before work if possible. A nagging still sat in his stomach, a little pull that maybe you’d change your mind.
He asked you the next morning, on your routine call, if he could stop by the theater when he finished with work that night. No reason in particular. He’d pull into the side street, and you could run out to see him.
When he arrived, you were in your stage outfit waiting to greet the crowd. Alastor smiled, “The prettiest bird I’ve ever seen!”
“A bird? Alastor just ‘pretty’ woulda been a fine compliment.”
He offered an apology by way of kiss, soft hands coming to your cheek as he leaned against the door of his car. “I just wanted to see you. Steal a kiss before you stole some hearts. May I return tomorrow?”
Ah, that feeling again. Stupid school girl with her first crush, her first taste of love. “I wouldn’t complain.”
That flow of conversation eased Alastor, things felt normal already. For you, they were. A small worry remained he may begin to act differently but the only difference was he seemed to be embracing you deeper.
After your delivered kiss, you took the stage like a woman reborn. The warmth of the light felt like the sun. Pointed toes as you moved along the stage, hips loose and smile coy.
As you looked around the backlit crowd you didn’t search for a good mark. The times you did play a man’s attention for Alastor were different, it felt like art when you lured men into Alastor’s claws.
A shake of your feathered fans, a very controlled lowering of your head, you let a hip rock out into view. A little flash of inner thigh. Then, your favorite part. One hand gripped your fans as you them with the aide of practiced fingers. Free hand undoing your still remarkably heavy and glittering bra and handing it behind the curtain.
Surprise reveal, a naked magic trick done behind distracting whirling feathers. Arms open, fans high, you waited for the applause to die down. Deep breaths were not possible, adrenaline and the weight of your costume keeping you from hiding the heaving of your chest.
The whistles were your favorite. You couldn’t imagine Alastor whistling but you were sure it would be flawless in its ability to capture your attention.
“Anyone wanna smoke? I don’t want to go into the alley alone.” You asked the room, several girls glancing your way and shaking their heads no as you hurried back in from your set.
“Just take the fire escape to the roof. That’s where we’ve been smoking since Mr. Brady said it was dangerous at night.” Florence was normally a perfect smoking partner, never talking too much. The name Brady made your stomach flip though, you had forgotten about him for a second. You’d managed to avoid him until Tommy’s bloody trail went cold, but you knew he still stalked around the jazz and music district.
A dancer laughed, “Nighttime has always been dangerous for women.”
Someone you didn’t see added, “Fuck, daytimes not safe either.”
You climbed the creaky and seemingly forgotten-about fire escape to the roof. The breeze hit your face before your feet even left the metal railing.
It was… a roof. Grey painted floors and brick sides. Nothing special, but you could see the bowl full of discarded cigarettes near the front of the building. You looked over the short wall that edged the front, you were able to see the pigeon shit covered marquee. What an unattractive view, the lights flashing out from beneath actual shit.
There was a metaphor there, you were sure.
Looking around, there were a few wicker chairs hidden in the shadow of the street’s lights, thankfully upside down to keep them clean from the birds.
If more people used roofs instead of alleys Alastor would be out of luck. Tommy was difficult enough with a staircase, the fire escape would have been the nail in that coffin.
It had been a lovely night, absolutely jarring compared to the night before. You leaned back in the chair, you knew you weren’t the best at saying what you meant. Especially when the words you offered could be used to hurt you. Words of affection and love, when true, were daggers given handle-first to someone else.
So you hoped Alastor could guess how much he meant to you. You shouldn’t need to say it, right? Actions speak louder than words. You bludgeoned a man to death for what you had thought was a lost cause. It had seemed Alastor was already dead when you first brought down the rock.
Diamonds are rocks, you considered. The most expensive costume the theater had was peacock feathered with shining crystals. You wanted to say you felt like a peacock, spirit large and wide and colorful. But those were males. Of course they were. The animal kingdom had males compete for mates with pretty colors and lovely songs. Now ladies pranced around in painted faces and short dresses. You didn’t feel pale or small like the ‘fairer sex’ peacock.
You felt like the swan. Vicious and beautiful, not out shone by anyone.
Well there was someone you’d allow to shine brighter. Someone you’d happily let take the lead. You’d thought letting a man walk in front of you was a sign of subservience. It hadn’t ever occurred to you that there could be respect in trusting someone else to go ahead. That the act of going first could be for protection and not power.
“Hey!”
You hurried to the fire escape, “yeah?”
“There’s a man asking for you. Tall guy named Frank?”
Frank?
Oh, Frank.
You’d forgotten about him. He’d left months ago. He was a whale, rich and generous. You took a moment to consider sitting down with him, smiling and laughing at his jokes, letting his hand settle on your thigh. It had been weeks since you entertained scamming anyone, and now you couldn’t even stomach the idea of faking interest in another man. Frank wasn’t one to scam, he just liked having a pretty lady on his arm to make him feel young and wanted, and in exchange you got into private parties and were gifted jewelry and clothing.
“Tell him I’m busy and send him off.” You hollered down. You could buy your own clothes.
“Did he leave?” Alastor asked you the next morning, you leaning against the glass phone booth in the early morning light.
Your finger wrapped around the phone cord, “No of course not! They never do. I snuck out the back.”
There was a hum, “Well my dear, you’ve offered me a wonderful transition into my next question.” Alastor was sitting at his kitchen table, nervously turning his coffee cup around in circles, “Would you like to come over tomorrow night? I can pick you up after your show.”
Like a glacier drifting away from shore, you very slowly crouched down in the booth. “To your home?”
“No, to Alabama.” He waited a beat, “Yes of course my home. I can show you what happens after I drive away.” A cheeky smile evident through his voice.
You pressed the phone receiver into your chest, teeth chewing on your bottom lip. What happens when he drives away? So…where the bodies go. But most importantly, the biggest part of this—where he lives. So much can be gleaned about someone from their home. A bookshelf alone could make or break an attraction. You brought the receiver back to your mouth. “Lovely! Sure thing— Alastor. Yes.” you almost added on an awkward nickname like daddy-o or mister man, like an idiot, because your brain was misfiring like you’d seen him in the sunlight again.
Ah, you could see his bed.
Where he slept.
Did he ever dream of you?
What if it was terribly dirty? Could you still love him if he was a slob?
“I’m quite far from downtown, pack an overnight bag, okay?” He stopped fidgeting with the mug. When the call ended he sat at the table for some time, staring around the kitchen. The home was large by city standards, but it was old. His mother’s charm was evident through every part. A finger scratched at the wooden table, heavy and solid. Why was his heart racing?
He walked to the screened back door, looking from the weathered patio steps to the greenhouse.
No one had ever been to his home. Ever. A teensy part of him was panicking. Was this a mistake? Was he going to fuck up the budding relationship? Throw off the peace of his safest place?
Budding. Okay that was ridiculous even for him. The kind of intimacy gained through murder did not allow any union to be called budding. He’d shared pieces of himself no other living soul knew of. Your image of him was possibly even more complete than his own mother had held, even though he tried to always be the most sincere with her. Even people he did care for and consider close friends had never knew where he lived. Never heard what kept him up at night. Never learned his distaste for a random lay.
Opening the screen door with a signature creak, the sound many southerners could call comforting, he walked to the greenhouse.
The newest part of the property, the glass walled structure was built shortly after his mother’s death. Double doors: locked. Just beyond the glass was a forest of plants and potted trees. They had no need for a greenhouse, but Alastor had a need for them.
He set about preparing his home for another occupant, a task that brought him such a shock of joy and anxiety he began to wonder who he was. New sheets on the bed, extra pillows set against his wooden headboard. Large glass jar in the backyard full of water and tea bags.
It was also unexpected he was thinking so much of his mother. In a perfect world she’d be there to greet you. Though if she was alive, he wouldn’t have been in that alley that night. He made a mental note to not mention his mother, at least not as much as he was remembering her as he walked around the two story home tidying.
Would he have met you if he wasn’t a killer?
A flicker of fear was quickly extinguished by romance. Definitely. You both ran in the same scenes. He’d seen you before that night, he just never approached you. He hadn’t anticipated how much more you were than the facade you put on. Nothing about your sweet face said, ‘I have a high tolerance for murder.’
Alastor spent the day at work physically present but mentally pacing his living room. He nodded along to discussions of who was to be live on set next, smile never faltering as he worried if he had breakfast foods. He rarely ate breakfast, did you? How had he not thought to ask. Sloppy.
The only outward sign he was feeling any stress was the tapping of his finger on his desk, which he hadn’t even noticed until the stage manager commented.
“Alastoooor,” her voice was high, like it seemed many women’s voices were recently. Was it a trend? “Impatient? Hot date with a young lady this evening?”
While she meant well, she always pried, always asked questions he didn’t appreciate.
Alastor shook his head, smile strained. A perceptive person would have picked up on it, but Brenda was not perceptive.
“Oh.” A noticeable disappointment, “That’s boring.”
Actually on second thought maybe she didn’t mean well.
“I’ve had too much coffee, is all, Brenda.” He pulled his hand into his lap. “Was there anything you needed?”
“No,” she pouted, much less endearing than you.
If he murdered purely for fun Debra would be dead before sunset. Unfortunately her only crime was being remarkably annoying.
Alastor waited behind the theater, where it was less likely any staff would see him. It was still important to avoid connecting the two of you together, at least at your workplace yet.
He was quick to grab your bag for you.
“Not the trunk, please.” You said, it took him a second to catch the joke. He set it on the back seat after opening your door for you. You’d only been in his car a few times but he never failed to be a perfect gentleman.
Your palms were sweating, when his hand rested on your leg while he drove you resisted the urge to hold it. Instead you slipped yours under his. Alastor asked you about your day, about work, about if Frank came back. Typically as soon as you left the theater you were in a cone of silence until your phone call with him the next day. It was kind of nice, having someone to speak to. Before meeting him there were times you worried you’d forget how to talk naturally, how to sound like yourself.
The glowing eyes of deer popped up from the side of the road, startling you. Eerie. You held your breath, would they run, stay still, or sprint into the road.
“Is it true their antlers can break car windshields?” You asked not breaking eye contact with a doe as you drove past.
Alastor nodded, “If a buck hits your car the wrong way, not even the car will make it out of the accident.”
“Are there a lot of bucks around?”
“Will be soon, as fall— wait why am I telling you this,” he laughed, “Miss Autumn Hind already knows what makes the bucks run wild.”
You shouldn’t be smiling, it was a dumb rut joke, but it felt like a compliment.
The car lights passed over the home as he turned into the dirt driveway. Powder blue. It wasn’t a color you associated with Alastor. He was caramel, honey, midnight blue, red. His sometimes sinister smile didn’t look quite right against powder blue. But, for a home, it was lovely.
“Is someone home?” You saw a light on in an upstairs room.
Alastor reached behind you for your bag, “No, I leave it on when I’m gone. Gives the impression that the house isn’t empty.”
A minor bit of acting, Alastor opening the door and offering to bring your bag upstairs before a tour like a good host. His anxious energy was barely contained by that grin of his. For your part you played the appropriately impressed guest.
But deep down you were very impressed. An actual house. Your mother struggled to keep apartments rented. Alastor had a home. With stairs. That went to more home, not a neighbor. What a lovely thing. What did he do with all this space?
He could probably hide quite a few bodies in there.
Alastor opened his bedroom door and motioned for you to enter.
You took in every detail as shrewdly as you could. Two circular nightstands, a wide dresser with a few framed photos and a radio. One large window facing the yard, you could see the car outside from where you were standing. “Wow a man’s bedroom. I tend to avoid these.”
“What a coincidence, so do I. Bedrooms in general, really.” He placed your bag on the dresser, offering to unpack it for you. Your smile screwed up, shaking your head no. You couldn’t imagine Alastor folding your panties and setting them into a drawer.
Well.
“Yes please.” You took a seat on the end of his bed, watching him tenderly empty the bag before beginning to put things away like you’d come home from a trip. “A bed big enough for two people. You didn’t tell me you were a fancy man. Ooh la la.”
Alastor laughed, “Your bed was quite comfortable.” He set your dress onto a hook attached to the closet door, hands running down the fabric to straighten out the wrinkles, “But I have a feeling that had more to do with you than anything else.”
The floor was clean, the rug beneath the bed a simple but pristine white. What an odd color for a rug.
You truly did avoid men’s homes. The power dynamic shifts too much.
“Are all men so clean?”
“Oh god no. Have you really never been to a man’s home?” Without a moment of hesitancy his long fingers flattened out your underthings and neatly folded them. You could call it erotic, knowing what else his fingers could do.
A hum, you swayed side to side, “Too much risk. I don’t know where the knife drawer is, which locks stick, what windows open all the way.”
He set the empty bag into a reading chair in the corner, “That sounds stressful.”
You shrugged, “My mother taught me to always have an escape. From situations, from rooms, from people. Not terrible advice.”
That was true, he thought. If the few women he killed had considered that, he would be less prolific. Women tended to be easier in some regards.
Alastor finally let himself look at you sitting on his bed. Were you wearing the black garters today? He liked those. He appreciated the red dress you’d worn.
Taking off his jacket and vest, he hung them up while his eyes kept returning to you. Your legs were crossed, thighs soft and pressed together. He remembered feeling them against his ears. A little cough to clear his throat and mind.
“Are you hungry?”
You werent, but you weren’t ready for sleep either, so you asked for some bread and butter. Alastor sat beside you at the table, watching you look around. It didn’t look like a killer's home.
“Ya know, I was going to rob you. I had been wanting to talk to you, before that guy caught me off guard when I was smoking.” You said it easily.
He smiled, “Oh, why’d you change your mind?”
“Well, you slit a man’s throat in front of me.”
“Tsk tsk, you give up too easily, my dear.”
Salted butter, soft bread. Simple. Happy. “You were so handsome-,”
“We’re?”
A snort of a laugh, rolling your eyes dramatically, “and you looked well off. I was searching the room for the lights reflecting off of your glasses all night.”
Alastor grimaced, fighting the well of his ego, and leaned on his elbows, “Is it too morbid to say I’m glad that man tried to kill you? I like this timeline more than being robbed and never seeing you again.”
“That’s very selfish. I would have enjoyed chasing you down and finessing your wallet off you.” You set the glass lid back over the butter dish, content with the snack. “Some men come back actually and confront me at the theater.”
He howled. The idea was ridiculous, “Seriously? Why not just tell the cops.”
“Men don’t like telling other men they got taken for a ride by a dame.”
Alastor stood, “What would you have done if you had robbed me and I marched into the theater demanding my cash back.” It took a second to realize he was being serious in wanting you to play along.
You popped the last piece of bread into your mouth and stood too, “You rake!” A fake smack to his chest, “I booted you to the curb! You had more hands than an octopus!”
Alastor tried to stay in character but his smile kept cracking through his serious face. “And my wallet? None of my hands can find it.” You took a few steps back, feigning shock at the accusation.
“Sir! You were so drunk I’m not surprised you lost it.” When Alastor closed the space between you with two wide steps and pulled you into his chest you giggled, hitting softly at him, “You should be ashamed of yourself. Trying to take advantage,” his hands wandered down your hips, making your voice catch in your throat, “of a good woman like me.”
His mouth came to your ear, “Well, miss, I think you owe me the opportunity to try again.”
You went stiff against him, the sudden turn of his voice into seduction taking you by surprise, “If you were a real mark, I’d punch you in the face for saying that.”
“But for me?” Breath against your neck.
Your hands slid up his chest and to his collar, pulling him down and into a kiss. His smile spread across your lips.
His mouth stayed against your cheek as he pulled you into a hug, “Ready for bed?”
“Are you sleepy, hun?” You pulled away, a sincerely worried face. Two nights now you’d interrupted his normal routine.
Alastor’s eyes seemed to sparkle behind his glasses, head shaking, “No, not at all.” You felt the heat rise up your face. Wanting to avoid assumptions, you tried to temper your expectations.
His hand pulled you toward the stairs, you dragging your feet, “Did you want to show me around?”
“In the daylight.” He led you up the stairs and to the right.
“Oh okay….��, your mind was reeling, mouth dry. No dead body in sight. No blood. You hadn’t pressed him or asked for anything. Maybe he just wanted a good cuddle, or some kisses. You often enjoyed necking near the car before he would go home. Right. Let him lead.
You followed him, letting him guide you hand in hand back to his bedroom.
ᡣ𐭩ˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist
∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):
@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,
@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar,@straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove@saccharine-nectarine , @viannasthings , @looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha , @astraechos , @reath-solia ,
🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan
@faeoffaith , @sailorsmouth , @jeannyjaykaydeh , @jyoongim , @cosmic-lavender , @saturn-alone , @lustylita , @radio-darling , @kaylopolis , @dickmastersworld , @leviskittywh0re , @asianfrustration13 @alittletiredcry @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorssimp , @angelxx7 , @katgirl05 , @impulsivethoughtsat2am , @sugurubabe , @zzzykiek , @phamtasic
#human alastor x reader#alastor x reader#alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel alastor#human alastor#alastor smut#alastor x you
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Old Man Yaoi AU future rambles
I never posted the full thing here, so I thought why not, since I'm struggling to get anything new down lol. Just copy and pasted from twitter, so forgive any weird formatting or errors!
I started this not knowing where I wanted to go with it, just knowing '10 years after being gone from japan, old man yaoi afomight come back because Toshinori has a bleeding heart and AfO is along for the ride' . And I didn't know what I wanted to show exactly, just the comfort and ease at which the two acted with one another.
AfO's gonna join Toshi at the railing and hold out a hand. Knowing what he wants, Toshi's gonna pull out a pack of cigarettes and let AfO take one.
"I don't know why I still carry these." Toshi says, watching as AfO lights the cigarette with a flicker of a stolen fire quirk. "
Habit." AfO says. "The lingering effects of the leash around my neck. Does it bother you?"
All Might quirks a brow. "What? The fact that I have to carry your shit for you, even now?"
AfO chuckles. That wasn't what he meant, and Toshi knows it. That's answer enough really - the experiments, the chip in his brain (even now long destroyed), the torture that AfO went through at the hands of the HPSC - of course it still bothered Toshi.
Coming back to japan…
It's weighing on Toshi. He's here to help his former students, even though he's retired officially as a hero. Vigilantism is still frowned upon, but no-one has the balls to tell All Might to keep to the sidelines, especially now that he has a few quirks on his side. And AfO. And isn't that funny? AfO has stated many times that he refuses to lend a hand. Toshi's alright with that. He's alright with the company alone. He still marvels at the fact that AfO still kept himself leashed to-
(Guilt, self hatred, Toshi still hasn't let them go. His former enemy could throw him that crooked grin that he'd hated so much in the past and Toshi would just melt these days.)
Toshi let out a heavy breath. Being back here… it was making it so much harder to rationalize his thoughts. His emotions. AfO stood by his side through all the meetings, appearing bored out of his mind and throwing in many a snide remark, and Toshi looked at him and thought 'I should hate this man.'
He didn't, though. The heroes, his former students scurried around the former demon lord like he was going to snap at any minute. Tenko refused to be in the same city as him. Izuku and Katsuki watched AfO with a single minded determination to put him down before he can even think to make a move, and only Toshi knew that AfO really had no intention to shatter the tentative truce in place.
Only Toshi knew AfO had other plans. He always had other plans. Some Toshi knew the details of, some he didn't, and there was a time when that would have terrified him. 15 years to spend together, through danger after danger…
Toshi knew AfO.
The doubts, when they appeared, didn't last.
"Does it bother you?" Toshi tossed the question back, and AfO paused, cigarette to his lips. Hazy white eyes drift to meet Toshi's, and the former hero marvels at just how easy it was to read AfO now.
AfO was disgruntled.
"Yes, and no." AfO said. "I don't care about your little students." A pause, and AfO's eyes gain a focus that has Toshi's hackles raising. "Hm. No, I suppose I do. But not because they all fear me or I feel any guilt for what I did to them."
A long time ago, Toshi would have flinched. He didn't even bat an eye now, even as he thought of Tenko and the sheer torment that All for One put that boy through.
(Guilt, guilt, guilt...)
"No, your one boy... Izuku Midoriya." AfO's gaze dropped focus again, his form relaxing when Toshi didn't bite at him defensively at the sound of his former students name. Toshi stood there, listening. "Or rather, One for All. And my brother."
Toshi hummed. His focus is intent. "Are you going to try taking it back again?"
AfO didn't look at him. Eyes unfocused again, cigarette dangling from between his fingers, burning away without being used. Toshi waited patiently. "... I said I would not." All for One finally said as he came back to himself. There's a tension to his mouth now. He's unhappy about it. "Your trust was hard enough to earn as it was. However..."
AfO is in Toshi's personal space now, a wall of heat pushing back the encroaching chill of the evening. Toshi braced a hand against the railing and shifted to face him, brow quirked. AfO always did like to crowd when he wanted to make a point or had something important to say.
"Do you remember what I said to you that last night we were here?" There's that crooked grin again, charming and threatening and so very well practiced. "When you played at hero when you didn't need to? When you were bleeding out and I had to carry you to safety?"
Toshi swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. "When - yes, what are you getting at?"
AfO finally brings the cigarette to his lips and takes a lazy drag. Smoke curls through the air, and Toshi breaths it in with shiver, remembering a time when he would have doubled over, unable to breathe.
"I can't fault you for being a hero." AfO said. "It's who you are at your core. You're the perfect hero, and I so utterly adore that. You're here to help, because of course you are, you're All Might."
Even when praising him it sounds condescending.
"But I want you to remember what I told you then." AfO flicked the cigarette carelessly to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his shoe. "About what will happen if your heroism gets the best of you, and you end up killing yourself."
At that, Toshi winced. Ah.
(a preview of THAT is this)
(imagine Toshi's head in AfO's lap after being shot by the president of the HPSC lmao...)
AfO's smile is all threat. "If you let your heroism get the best of you, and you end up killing yourself, then know that there is nothing left to prevent me from completing my initial goals and taking One for All for myself."
It wasn't the healthiest of ultimatums.
But it was one Toshi remembered laughing at after hearing it for the first time. Live, because if not then AfO would turn back into the supervillain he was at heart? 'Live, or else I kill everything you hold dear?' He'd thought it was kind of sweet. Hadn't wanted to question why.
Still doesn't want to question why. Even now, he finds it kind of sweet. Knows its... messed up.
He smiles at All for One, feeling warm. "Don't worry about me. I don't plan on dying anytime soon."
"Good boy." All for One croons, and his arms snake around Toshi's waist.
They stand together in silence for a moment, and the evening sky deepens around them. AfO breaks the silence. "I feel you should know it's actually quite difficult to behave. I'm showing remarkable restraint."
Toshi snorts against AfO's neck, muffling his laughter. "Good boy."
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Too much of the fandom really likes Renee. I hate her. I can understand that people find her attractive, because she is, but I can’t stand her. Obviously each to their own, and I can acknowledge that if you don’t particularly like both Andrew and Ashley you will find Renee’s actions less hate-able. This is just my thoughts shoved into text format. Sorry for any errors.
Abuse of Andrew
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ Renee made Andrew into a parent for Ashley, which in turn didn’t allow him to have a proper childhood. It’s also teased in the Episode 3 trailer that there’s rumours of incest between the siblings around school which is no doubt stemmed from the two being forced in such close proximities due to the mother and fathers neglect. This more than likely affected a lot of Andrew’s social life, pushing him towards other women to ‘prove’ he isn’t ’like that’, which isn’t particularly healthy for a teen boy.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ Renee and the father are likely the cause of Andrew’s anxiety in fear of pissing her off, or generally bothering her. Andrew represses his true feelings so he can please his parents, Both parents seem to brush off any concerns Andrew has, making him internalise his feelings and not seek any mental or emotional support for what he is going through.
Abuse of Ashley
₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ Renee forcing Andrew to be Ashley’s caretaker tore away any form of other support network for the young girl. This is clearly shown with how she struggles to make friends and genuine connections with others outside of Andrew, seen with Julia and Nina. It is also why she never sought out support for herself, Renee would never get help for her clearly neurodivergent or somewhere on the ASPD spectrum, so Ashley in turn also did not.
₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ Renee not allowing Ashley to have birthdays may seem like a small and insignificant detail but it speaks volumes of what she was like as a parent to me. She never allowed to have nice things and Renee made sure of that. Or didn’t. She didn’t care enough to even check up in the girl, probably didn’t even remember her birthday.
₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ Renee calling her a problem and an annoyance, again, something insignificant to some that I am reading into far too much. Your parent is supposed to be your biggest supporter in life, the one that brought you to life, who is supposed to love you unconditionally. Ashley has none of that. The only unconditional love and support she has is from her older brother. Not having support from your parents, your mother actively calling her an annoyance doesn’t help with her obviously festering insecurities and self hatred.
₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ Renee thinking and openly expressing that the only way Ashley could have value to anyone (specifically Andrew) is if she is having sex with them. Ashley’s mindset about sex is very contractual (I will probably go into further detail about this in a later post) and I believe that that has been taken from her mother.
—
🌺 Selling her children to the organ harvesting scheme is just generally fucked up, and how she shows absolutely no remorse is even more concerning. She happily collected the life insurance money, moved to a nicer home in a nicer place intending to forget about the two whole children she had.
🌺 Renee may not be the cause of all of the siblings problems, there are external influences as well as the father, though I feel with the lack of content we have around their father that I am unable to judge him on his actions, bar being equally responsible for his children. I just find the fandoms treatment of Renee to be odd considering how fandoms usually absolutely flame abusive parents in fiction. As I said, each to their own, if you like her this isn’t a post to try and change your mind, it’s just my opinion.
#ashley graves#andrew graves#andrew x ashley#gravecest#coffincest#renee graves#andy graves#leyley graves#gravescest#tcoaal#the coffin of andy and leyley#andy and leyley
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Since I didn’t end up posting today again cuz of the festival stuff going on longer than I thought, I’m going to post a longer formatted list of facts about my AU (just headcanons and shit for the characters!) I hope it appeases you all for today and I’ll get right back onto answering asks tomorrow if all goes well <3
HORROR
Horror is a simple person, with simple goals and a complex mind. He is quiet, but not shy, instead more cunning and intelligent than the other two are. He tends to stay out of Nightmare’s way more than anything, not going near him at all if he can help it, and it is this fact that has allowed him to become Nightmare’s favorite subordinate.
Horror likes reading and cooking, although he unfortunately is not at all good at the latter and is often banned from making meals. He likes doing repetitive things with his hands like knitting or sewing, because in his au there isn’t much to do except wait around and standing idly reminds him of the days he spent starving there.
He’s very careful with food, always eating a certain amount at a certain time. Nightmare doesn’t deny him food as a general rule, not because he cares but because Horror’s “loyalty” depends on it. He has a tendency to stash food away.
Horror does not hate Killer or Dust, but feels conflicted about them and suspicious of their motivations. He dislikes what they had to do in their AUs to survive, but he really doesn’t blame them for it. He’s an anxious guy by nature and is well used to betrayal so there is little trust in his heart for them
KILLER
My version of Killer is not without emotion, but rather empathy and most capabilities to experience positive emotion. One of his better qualities is his sense of humor, something that never left him even when he stopped being Classic Sans.
Killer likes cats, but does not have any. I believe at one point I got an ask about that, and I’m responding here that the cats existed and now do not. He doesn’t do anything with his free time, content to exist in quiet.
Killer’s soul is quite unstable and prone to flare ups of LV, which is why he doesn’t do nearly as much actual killing as Dust does. Killer is the fighter, Dust is the executor, and Horror steps in if they fuck up.
He has no feelings towards either Dust or Horror, but he has a strange desire in his SOUL to get closer with them.
DUST
Dust, not called Murder here, isn’t as serious as he’s usually portrayed by the fandom. He still loves practical jokes and puns, but doesn’t make them as often since he’s usually either on high alert or on the verge of passing out.
Dust likes small spaces, likes the fact that he can’t be attacked except for from one direction. He likes gardening and watching the others do things.
Dust is not prone to LV flare ups, despite his LV being quite high. The nature of his SOUL is not like Killer’s, and although being a murderer has changed him fundamentally, his physical well-being is unaffected.
Dust likes Horror and is unsure about Killer. Horror is kind of creepy but is canonically and obviously the most friendly of all of them as well as the most reasonable, and Killer is just. Unnerving.
ERROR
Error, referred to by all other than those close enough to know him by his actual name as the Destroyer, is a selfish and malignant being with goals unknown to anyone else. He destroys universes to feed his own code, to keep himself from corrupting beyond a point of saving. He’s seen by most of the multiverse as a mindless animal, set on destruction purely because it’s the only thing he knows. He is also primarily referred to within the multiverse as an “it” instead of a “he.”
Error, like the canon version, likes knitting and crocheting. He likes watching magical girl shows (his current favorite being Madoka Magica) and sleeping. The Destroyer doesn’t really care for destruction as a concept, just views it as an inevitable consequence of his existence.
Quick fun fact about Error! He’s almost completely blind, using his strings to “see.” Talking is possible but very difficult, as it takes a long time for him to finish a sentence and even longer for the other person to understand what he is saying.
Error doesn’t know the others well enough to judge, but he finds Nightmare interesting enough.
NIGHTMARE
Nightmare in my AU is not the Nightmare Dream knew, but They are not the canon version either. They are a sort of mix, who is selfish and doesn’t bother with anything if it doesn’t further Their goals. They are not actively trying to kill Dream as They are in the original.
Nightmare enjoys reading, eating sweets, and watching old shows like “I Love Lucy” for entertainment. They like the feeling of positivity, even if extended exposure to it could kill Them.
Nightmare is one of the only ones in the multiverse who doesn’t see Error as an animal! Love that for Them. They also see Themselves as a collective, so They use “We” “Us” and “Ourselves” to refer to Themselves. Their pronouns are also always capitalized!
Lastly, They find Killer annoying, Dust annoying, Horror less annoying, and Error intriguing.
Do with these facts what you will!
#dust sans#dusttale#horror sans#horrortale#killer sans#sans undertale#something new#undertale art#undertale ask blog#undertale mtt#bad guys#undertale au#undertale#error sans#errortale#nightmare sans#dreamtale#fun facts
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.
Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut
Warnings: provocative dancing, slight Sam x Reader, jealous Dean
Chapter Word Count: 4211
—-MDNI—-
A/N: So I had to post this chapter in 2 parts because of how long it was and the formatting was weird otherwise. So here we are, and 2 part chapter! But yeah same as always pls let me know of any errors as I am the only one who proof reads this shit.
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Please read the below first:
Prologue Chapter 1
Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Chapter 8 pt. 1
I’m Not Your F*cking Maid
Chapter 8 - Part 2
Charlie eventually left after a few hours of convincing Sam and Dean that I would be absolutely fine infiltrating the club without them. At least at first. Some negotiations took place and after a while we all came to an agreement - I’d go in, scope the place out and unlock every door before leaving and letting the boys take over, handing over the intel on who everyone was and where they were stationed. This would make the kills less messy and reduce civilian casualties. Once this decision was made, we ate dinner before the guys went back upstairs to get as much information on the strip club as possible, whilst I went to finish the laundry from earlier.
I’d dropped Sam’s clothes off in his room before I headed Deans room to deposit his. Upon arriving, I twisted the handle and let myself in, breathing in the intoxicating scent of him before placing the neat stacks of clothing on his bed. Patting the top on the piles to ensure they wouldn’t topple over, I was turning to leave when something caught my eye. It was a pile of napkins and receipts crumpled up and tossed in the bin by the door - the same ones that made me feel so deflated earlier today. I smiled, feeling some semblance of relief course through me as I made my way upstairs again. As I walked I pondered; the Winchesters unknowing of the fact that I’d spent a short amount of time taking exotic dance classes. My ex boyfriend had paid for them so I could give him a ‘private show’ in cheap lingerie, and not to toot my own horn but I was pretty good at what I did back then so this should be a breeze. The only thing was that now I had a point to prove, and boy was I going to prove it.
I strode into the room where the boys were - Deans head in his hands and Sam’s face pressed to the inside of a book that was open on the table. He could have been asleep, if it wasn't for the fact that his eyes opened when I walked in. Without saying a word I grabbed an empty chair and set it in the middle of the room away from the desks and bookcases, making both men flinch at the abruptness.
“What are you doing?” Dean quizzed, lifting his head from his hands.
“Proving to you that I’m perfect for this case.”
Dean raised an eyebrow and I was unsure if he was catching on. I grabbed his phone from the table, unlocking it and finding the perfect song to play, settling on ‘Apocalyptic’ by Halestorm. At the start of the music he seemed to realise what was going on and he sat up eagerly, watching me intently as I undid my hair from its ponytail. I ruffled it up close to the roots, putting some volume in there as he went to stand up. I placed my fingertips on his chest and pushed gently, making him sit back down in his chair. I shook my head.
“Not you.”
He looked at me, puzzled; however his jaw dropped when I took Sam’s hand and urged him to stand. Sam had been paying minimal attention and just about knew what was going on when I gently pushed on his toned stomach, moving him backwards towards the chair in the middle of the room. I felt my heart do a small flip at the sheer size of the younger Winchester, this being my first time standing so close to him. And he smelt softer than Dean - less leather and gunpowder and more mint and fresh linens. I looked up at Sam through my lashes, watching his chest rise and fall more rapidly than before as he scanned my face. I smiled.
“Just relax, Sam. I Promise I don’t bite - at least not unless you want me to,” as the words left my lips I heard a SNAP and looked over at Dean, who’d now crushed the pencil he was using into splinters. I couldn’t help but smirk, starting to enjoy this perhaps a little more than I should. I pushed on Sam’s hips, urging him to sit, now in perfect view of his older brother. I stood in between Sam’s thighs and looked down at him, watching how his big eyes followed my hands as I slid them down over his shoulders and chest before running them back up again, tracing a single finger up over his Adam’s apple and tilting his chin up to look at me. The moment his eyes met mine his lips parted slightly and I leaned in close, so close that I could almost taste him. He let out the quietest groan and I whispered over his lips:
“I’ll try to make this enjoyable.”
I was bending over slightly, feeling my already very short skirt ride up. I sashayed around Sam, swaying my hips to the music and trailing my hands over his body with feather-light touches. Every time I did I felt him tense up or let out a small noise, especially when I crouched down behind the chair and slid myself underneath it, appearing between his legs and pushing myself up, my own legs straight and spread wide as I leant forwards. I now faced Dean, making eye contact with him as he watched me slide my hands up Sam’s thighs as I perched myself in his lap, swaying my hips as I pressed into him. I heard him suck in a breath at the contact, his manhood twitching in his jeans beneath the softness of my ass. I brought my knees and ankles together in a ladylike fashion before spreading them wide again, my legs pressing hard into the inside of Sam’s thighs. Deans knuckles went white as I ran my hands over my body and through my hair, biting my bottom lip sensually. Feeling Sam’s hands graze my knees, they slowly started to trail up my thighs as he snuck touches in where he could. My heart fluttered in my chest - his hands were already treating me far more gently than Deans did. I let him touch me for a few moments before I smacked his hands away and stood up. Spinning to face him I flipped my hair back, and slowly - oh so slowly - traced my hands down my own figure. As I outlined every curve I lowered myself so I was kneeling right before him - right between his legs that were spread wide like my own as my bare knees rested on the cold floor. I ghosted my hands up the inside of his thighs as he let out a shaky breath. I smiled up at him, but it seemed he was past the niceties as I noticed how dark his eyes had gone. I drew my hands back and spun around so I was now facing Dean whilst still nestled between Sam’s thighs. The older brother had pulled his chair out for a better view as his elbows rested on his knees as his large palms came together - as though in prayer - in front of his plump, kissable lips. He stared at me, unmoving and barely blinking, as though he were in a trance. Still on my knees, I threw Dean a coy grin before I placed my hands on the floor and walked them forwards, my ass now completely on show to Sam as my denim skirt did nothing to keep me covered. My back dipped in a feline manner as my chest came into contact with the floor, and I couldn’t help but think to myself that I would put money down that Dean loves this position for rough, pleasure-seeking sex. I hummed to myself at the thought of him fucking me into his mattress like this; one large, rough hand on my hip and the other propping himself up over me as he would moan my name and I would lose myself in his bedsheets.
I tore myself away from my daydream by sliding my hands forward so I was laying on my front before rolling onto my back, tilting my head back so I was looking at Dean upside down, my hair pooling around me. I gnawed on my bottom lip again as I planted both feet on the floor so my knees were bent and touching, before lifting one leg as gracefully as I could into the air and pointing my toes. Reaching my arms up, I gently touched my ankle and trailed my fingers over my leg, up my thigh - catching on my skirt and lifting it higher - along the soft skin of my exposed torso and over my breasts. I then dragged my fingers through my hair and over my scalp, my outstretched arms lifting my tank top a little - flashing Sam some braless underboob. I heard him moan and shuffle in his chair, however my eyes were still locked with Deans, and I watched as the older brother leant back and spread his legs a little wider, adjusting himself in his jeans as he laced his fingers together over his abdomen. Without missing a beat, I flipped myself back over onto my stomach and played the previous motions in reverse - sliding upwards so I was on all fours and then back to being just on my knees. I turned so I was facing Sam again, grinning at his hooded eyes and slack jaw as I placed my hands on his knees and pushed myself up to standing. I stepped around him slowly, my hands running down his broad shoulders as I moved to stand behind him. I leant down and whispered into his ear, his head dipping to the side slightly as my breath fanned out over his hot skin:
“Admit it, I’m perfect for the case.”
I watched his eyes flutter closed as he replied in a breathy voice.
“Yes… you’re perfect…” he paused, like he’d forgotten to finish his sentence, “…perfect for the case, I mean.”
I smiled as I stood up straight, catching Deans piercing gaze again.
“I’m going to bed - it’s been a long day. You boys should too,” my voice came out perhaps a little more sultry than I expected.
They both nodded, humming in response as I turned away, walking to my bedroom and leaving behind me at least one testosterone-field time bomb.
I’ll probably regret that whole ordeal in the morning
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Some of the tags haven’t worked so please check your settings if your name is highlighted!
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Up Next:
Chapter 9
#dean winchester#dean winchester smut#dean x y/n#dean x you#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean x female!reader#dean x reader#dean winchester x reader smut#dean winchester x you smut#eventual smut#supernatural smut#slow burn#supernatural#spn#dean winchester enemies to lovers#enemies to lovers#smut
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hi! so I had a question, how long did it take you to build a following on tumblr? how long have you been writing for spn as a whole (I assume you started with it but I’m not sure I meant when did you start writing on the app mostly) and do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you for other people? (I hope the wuestion made sense)
Hi there, lovely anon!
Oh, these are great questions, and I'm happy to answer. I'm going to be referencing this post, as someone asked me a similar question.
I also talk a lot about my beginning fanfic/coming to Tumblr experience and building a following in this interview I did with the @idlingintheimpalapodcast.
That being said, here's how I got started in SPN fandom and on Tumblr, and 6 Tumblr Tips related to how I've tried to grow my blog:
Learn How Tumblr Functions
Create a Tag List
Posting Schedules, Announcements, and Sneak Previews
People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements) + shoutouts to blogs I looked to for inspo
Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy
When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs
Deeper dive below the cut:
Writing for SPN & Starting on Tumblr
To be honest, I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to Tumblr. I've written for many different fandoms over the 15 years or so I've been writing fanfic, but I've been writing for Supernatural in particular since around 2015. I wrote on platforms like Fanfiction.net, and later I moved over to Ao3.
I dabbled with Tumblr starting in 2021 while I was working on a Billy Butcher x OC story for the Boys (And So It Goes). But after watching the last season of SPN, I got the SPN bug again, so I started dipping back into the fandom.
But I wasn't really that active on Tumblr until January 2023, when I wrote my first soulmate AU series for Dean Winchester, called Never Say Goodbye (Dean x soulmate!Reader).
That started a very fun journey for me in the Tumblr world, engaging with people and making friends here with awesome people! 💕
Now, here are a few tips on what I've learned in building my following. You don't have to do exactly what I did. This is just my advice based on my personal experience here:
Tip #1: Learn How Tumblr Functions
Everything has been a process of trial and error. I have a professional background in content and social media marketing, so that knowledge has helped me a lot with some elements I'll get into later.
But it took me time to learn the Tumblr landscape. I had to figure out:
Why it's important to reblog -- not just your own work in replying to people's comments, but what you read and enjoy. It's what makes Tumblr go 'round.
The different mobile vs. desktop views and functions.
How to format my posts and use hashtags that would best optimize my fics and posts, based on the most followed tags in the fandom I was writing for.
How to create design elements, like banners, dividers, and headers that matched my aesthetic and the fandom.
Make sure my blog is easy to read, visually, and easy to navigate, technically (links to my masterlists, series masterlists, tag list, my fic library side blog, Patreon, etc.).
I'm still adjusting all these things now and then as I figure out new ways to keep readers engaged, and make my blog as easy to navigate as possible.
Tip #2: Create a Tag List
A tag list is a list of blog users that request to be tagged in your upcoming fics. (See this post on tips for formatting tag lists and optimizing hashtags on posts.)
Some authors don't do tag lists anymore because they find it a hassle (and it can be), but even if you're just starting out, advertise your tag list -- I suggest at the end of a fic and in your bio, your masterlist, and/or navigation page. It will get more eyes on your posts, and hopefully more engagement.
I used Google Forms to build up my tag lists because it's easy to use and it creates a Google spreadsheet for you based on the responses you get (an idea I got from another writer who was doing the same thing). You can also create more sheets within the file to organize the responses by character, for example.
On my tag list, I gave readers options to choose which character they wanted to be tagged on based on the fandoms I write for. I also created tag lists for new series to go with the series masterlist. Like I said above, I created spreadsheets for each of these lists within my tag list form master sheet.
Now, you don't have to do it exactly this way. There are many ways to keep track of a tag list.
Some people may think my approach is too much work, but this was very successful for me in building up my tag lists and increasing my following. Staying organized is key! 🤓✌🏽
I have since created a side blog @zepskieswrites for people to follow with notifications on.
Tip #3: Posting Schedules, Announcements & Sneak Previews
When my blog started to gain traction from my first SPN series, I knew I wanted to post consistently to keep people's interests. For me, this meant once a week (sometimes more if the mood strikes me), to keep that momentum going. YouTube vloggers do the same thing for this reason. They have a set posting schedule and give announcements.
You don't have to post once a week. You don't even have to have a set schedule. That's just what I did last year to increase engagement, but also because I love to write, I was getting inspired, and I made the time for it!
Remember that writing and sharing your work and being a part of the fandom on Tumblr is supposed to be fun! At the same time, what you get out of something depends on how much time you have to put into it.
Basically what I’m saying is, I’ve put a lot of time and energy into my writing and my blog, but only because it’s been very fun to do it! 😉
Now, going back to being consistent. It can help you! When people know they have content waiting for them by a certain timeframe, and they see that you stick to that deadline, they're more likely to tune in and engage with your work.
Of course, real life comes first, always, and things can derail you, but on the whole I make sure that I keep my word when I say I'm going to post something. Tumblr has a scheduling feature that allows you to schedule posts ahead of time, which I use on a daily basis. That can help you as well.
To try and generate buzz around new stories, I give writing updates or announcements, often with sneak previews, and the dates when I plan to drop the upcoming story. When I'm writing a series, on each chapter I give a preview of the next one, so I can try to keep people invested and waiting for the next chapter.
Tip #4: People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements)
A huge element of successful content and social media is visuals. The first thing people are often drawn to when they look at a web page, an ad, or any kind of digital content is the picture -- and any other visual elements. Then they look at the title/headline, followed by the rest of the story.
This is why I always lead with the title of the story/headline and a GIF or image at the top of the post for a story. Draw readers in with their eyes to the visual, and then the content. I now create my own design elements, including story headers.
When I got started here on Tumblr, I also took a closer look at how other popular blogs I admired were organizing their masterlists, formatting their stories with banners, dividers, tags/warnings, word count, creating tag lists, and more -- both to create their blog aesthetic and to make it easier for readers to enjoy their work on different levels -- the content itself, and the visual elements.
Shoutouts to some of those writers I looked to, who have a lovely blog aesthetic and organization: @luci-in-trenchcoats @deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior
Form and function is a balance, and they should work together. For example, there are some design/post formatting elements that are getting popular now on Tumblr that I personally don't vibe with, because I think it takes away from the reader's experience.
Like making the entire post or story in small case. Readers that have trouble seeing small fonts won't want to read this.
or making everything in the story lower case. this just bothers me for grammatical reasons. guarantee i will be turned off from reading. 😂
Also, most people browse Tumblr on their phone rather than on desktop. (About 62% according to current Semrush statistics.) So certain things that are small in your desktop version will be even smaller on mobile.
If you have a custom blog design, some design elements may not transfer well visually on mobile vs. desktop, and vice versa. So you'll want to check both versions to see how it looks, and possibly make adjustments.
Now, this isn't to say you have to become a graphic designer if that's not your thing. There are plenty of people who share their lovely designs for free, as long as you make sure to credit them if you use one of their banners, dividers, etc. Check out @cafekitsune and @firefly-graphics, for example.
Some of them even take requests. Just make sure to check their bio to see if they state whether they're currently taking requests or not. (This also goes for writers on fic requests.)
Tip #5: Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy
This is part of the fun when you start truly engaging with the fandoms you love.
Likes are cool. Comments are wonderful. Reblogs with comments are awesome, because not only do they get that engagement/feedback that they can reply to, but the reblog helps your fellow writers get seen. And while they aren't obligated to, they might be more inclined to do the same for you.
You'll also start to develop relationships within your fandom community. This is how I've made many friends and gained new readers on Tumblr -- by reblogging, sharing, commenting on what I liked about the fics I read. 💜
I try my best to support my fellow writers, no matter how new or how popular they are. Just because a writer has a bigger following, doesn't mean they appreciate feedback any less.
Feedback gives us writers energy and fuels us to write more. It can lead to more inspiration, and to continue the series you might be so invested in.
So if I took the time to read something, if I enjoyed it, I'm usually reblogging it and sharing my thoughts, even if it's just a gif or a couple of lines, or a long raving review. 💖
Tip #6: When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs
Along with supporting my fellow writers, engaging with the lovely people who read my work is just good fun! It's the best part of sharing my work on here and on Ao3. And it lets them know that you value and appreciate them for taking the time to comment and/or comment in a reblog. 💓💓💓
I hope these tips are helpful! Now, to answer your last question...
Do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you
[to build a following] for other people?
Interesting, but the truth is, I'm not sure. My knowledge of content and social media marketing has probably given me a leg up, I think, even though it took me a while to learn the Tumblrscape. I've also been writing fanfic for a long time. Long before I ever heard about Tumblr.
I've spent years studying literature, creative writing, and screenwriting, and putting it into practice. I've spent years writing for other voices besides my own, outside of the fanfic world. Like anyone else, I can only go by what I've learned, my own instincts, my frame of reference, and what I want to write about next.
Like anyone else, I can only hope that what I put out there vibes with people and touches them in some way, enough that they feel comfortable letting me know what they thought about it. 💜
In the meantime, I'll just keep getting inspiration from this guy (and other characters):
#zepskies answers#how to build a tumblr following (in my experience)#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#soldier boy#spn#the boys#dean winchester x you#jensen ackles#supernatural#dean winchester imagine#spn fanfic#dean winchester fanfiction#jackles#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#supernatural x reader#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy fanfiction#russell shaw x reader#russell shaw#tracker#beau arlen#beau arlen x reader#dean winchester x oc#priestly x reader#alec mcdowell x reader#jason teague x reader#billy butcher#cj braxton x reader
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ArchiveVerse Cross
(sorry if the quality is butchered everyone Ibis paint is uncooperative today)
Finally, i'm able to work on ArchV content, with my favourite character, Cross. More under the cut.
Cross is the first one to get a 'reference sheet' or a character intro, since he's the first one to kickstart this AU too. Expect more ArchiveVerse charcaters to receive the treatment in the future.
(though for now Delta is next, because i absolutely hate his current archv design, and i'm redoing it. If you had anyone you're interested in seeing next, please tell me.)
I actually don't know how to format this post, though, so sorry if the information is all over the place (or if it's too much information). To understand most of the things I write here, please refer to my ArchiveVerse post.

★Info★
Cross, a student from the Omega Public School (OPS), used to be a normal student. That is, until he got caught in trouble along with Ink and a student from Juvie, Error. Ink was let off scot free, but Cross wasn't so lucky. Due to the troubles he caused, he was quickly arrested and thrown to the Juvenile Containment. Much to his own displeasure.
There, as much as he distances himself, he made friends with the other students contained there (Dust, Killer, Horror, and Nightmare). Though, it doesn't deter him from grinding hard for credits and speedrunning his community service to be released fast and quick from Juvie. He succeeded.
After graduating from the Juvenile Containment, Cross returned to OPS, and swore to just become a normal student, avoiding having himself thrown into Juvie again. He tries his best to steer clear from trouble, though the other Juvie students seem to bring that trouble to him, often dragging him along to their mischief.
Quick facts:
His height is 180 cm (probably he's the third tallest character in archv)
Cross's powers are Lightning, and on the side, he has small matter manipulation powers, able to break down molecules, though he hasn't explored his capabilities with this yet.
His powers are volatile, and he still had difficulties controlling it. Occasionally he'd accidentally zap someone when he touched them. Purple sparks of lightning also fizzle out of his fingertips when he's flustered or nervous.
He wears at least three layers of clothing.
Cross has been described as handsome, with long legs.
He rides his bicycle everywhere, often going for rides in the weekend too.
Cross always brings his school bag whereever he goes, in it are chocolate energy bars, and other utilities.
His eyelights are starry whenever he's overjoyed (this is his swap sans trait guys)
Every student in OPS has their own house, Cross makes sure to keep his living space tidy and neat.
Character relationships:
(These are only the ones i can mention off the top of my head)
Cross and Dream hangs out sometimes. To drink latter or get breakfast. Cross really admires him.
He often hangs out at the arcade with Delta, Epic, and Color. Delta seems somewhat hellbent on beating him at anything, Cross felt like he can't lose. Epic and Color plays a cooking game.
Dust, who was banned from entering most merch stores and malls, often sent Cross for fetch quests to get him any new Ice-e merch. Cross finds this annoying but obliges.
Killer and him often zap each other back in juvie, he still have black spots and bruises in several parts of his body. Nowadays, they still zap each other sometimes, Killer mostly for teasing— and Cross, on accident.
Horror and him often went to all-you-can-eat events together, they also exercise together occasionally.
Even out of Juvie, Cross still calls Nightmare by 'boss'. Nightmare finds it embarrassing of him.
Cross rarely met Ink, still somewhat wary that Ink will drag him into some sort of trouble. Though, he doesn't hate him.
Credits (please tell me if I missed anyone!):
Cross Sans by Jakei
Artstyle inspired/taken directly from Mx2j, one of the artists for Blue Archive. The character intro format itself follows Blue Archive.
Mentioned characters: Dream & Nightmare Sans (Joku), Dust Sans (Ask-Dusttale blog), Killer Sans (Rahafwabas), Horror Sans (SourAppleStudios), Ink Sans (Comyet/Mye bi), Error Sans (CrayonQueen/LoverofPiggies), Epic (yugogeer012), Delta (AnimatedZorox), Color (superyomna)
#undertale multiverse#undertale alternate universe#utmv#archiveverse#cross sans#yay archv content guys#Cross is tall
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— An evening well spent
including: Jing Yuan
cw: !! NSFW !!, fem!reader, VERY SHORT, posted on mobile so formatting might suck sorry :( , one singular cl1t slap, c0ckwarming, implied unprotected p in v, still spreading my jing yuan is a bastard (affectionate) agenda , written very quickly there might be a few errors
w/c: 477 words
a/n: hallo everynyan my last nsfw kind of blew up and now my mentally ill ass is struggling because I am answerable to people now . but fuck it we ball. Wracjing my brain for more ideas so I can write more but if u have any requests then pls share!! sorry about the english again 🦅
NSFW BELOW !
There's no way you could concentrate.
Your bastard of a boyfriend had a wonderful suggestion when you told him of your troubles.
See, despite being a Xianzhou native, you had never been particularly fond of writing in the script and that was now coming back to bite you in the ass.
You'd gotten passing comments about it before, about how shabby it is or how it's almost illegible.
It seemed perfectly fine to you though, something for future you to worry about.
That was the case until your boss doubled down on you, her exact words being, “An outsider stepping foot on the Xianzhou for the first time would have a better handwriting than you.”
That was the last straw.
When you told Jing Yuan about it, he laughed for a few minutes before realizing you were deeply disturbed by this.
So, he offered a simple solution.
He'll help you practice the Xianzhou script for a month to help you get better handwriting.
The only catch? Well, he said there weren't any.
But, there's never not a catch with the general.
So, that ended up with you and him, settled in his private office at his home…
…With his cock stuffed inside you.
There's the expected catch. Who would've guessed the general found some way or the other to make sure he can have his way (consensually) with his darling partner.
Frankly, you don't know how he managed to get you to agree to this, maybe it was the fact that the two of you hadn't been intimate for a while or the fact that he knew you've always wanted to try cockwarming.
Maybe it was both.
You shook your head, trying to focus back on your shaking hand that was holding the brush.
“Have a tighter grip, you need to hold the brush a little more vertically for this set of the alphabet.”
Jing Yuan's deep voice echoed through your ears, turning your brain into mush.
But, you had to push on. He wasn't going to move until you finished writing a sentence perfectly and you knew for a fact that your dear boyfriend kept to his promises.
You took a deep breath, composing yourself before moving the brush again, making a perfect arch.
“There we go, that's my girl, hm. Doing so well. Just a little more, you can do it.”
He rested his head against your shoulder, bringing his hand to start rubbing lazy circles on your clit.
“Yu, stop that I—”
“Focus.”
A small slap to your clit made you flinch immediately, the extra ink in your brush spilling a few drops on the paper.
“Love, you ruined the paper.”
Shit.
“Looks like we'll have to start all over again, hm? What a shame.”
He tutted, almost sounding regretful but he was far from it.
…This was going to be a long night.
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AoT Analysis: Why I like the Tyburs as characters

A question I get a lot is why I like the Tyburs so much, especially when Willy was "evil" and Lara had so little screen time. I made a thread on Twitter about why I like them, but not everyone who asked me this has it, so I thought I'd post here too : )
DISCLAIMER 1: Please forgive any weirdness; since this is copied from Twitter there might be errors or wacky formatting. Later I'll probably go over it and polish it up.
DISCLAIMER 2: This is my opinion. If you don't like the characters, you have every right. Just don't hate on folks who don't share your opinions ^_^
Aside from being really well written and interesting to analyze (so many people misinterpret Willy as being straight up evil but he's actually a foil to Eren at the least), I find their vibe and aura extremely powerful and interesting for not being there for very long. I think Willy's dilemma is fascinating to analyze; he's there for only a couple episodes yet is extremely important, and so morally grey that his position and decision is interesting to ponder. Willy is extremely well fleshed out for such a short appearance.
As for Lara, she's my prime example of how amazing a character creator Isayama is. She was there for 3 episodes and had 2 lines, yet her aura and presence were super powerful. Her expressions say so much, and was memorable as a character despite very minimal attention. There is also a lot to her if you read between the lines. Presumably she was raised as a noble child, yet probably fairly sheltered due to her family, and likely at a young age had to give up everything to be the Warhammer heir. She was entirely devoted to her mission, accepting her duty though it meant devoting herself to a life of service and secrecy. She had to endure everything alone, from the change in her life to all the memories and secrets of the Warhammer. Through it all she remained loyal and devoted, with probably only her brother to help her. She is silently strong and silently suffering all for what she thinks of as the highest good. Like her brother she was willing to sacrifice her life for this good (though we don't know how much she knew).
Something else I love about the Tyburs is how devoted to family they are; Willy with his kids, Lara smiling and giving her nieces and nephews treats, and how Lara was clearly grieving (yet strong!) when her brother got chomped.
Part of what's so fascinating about Lara is how mysterious she is and getting to read between the lines. We can clean information about her through his Eren changed after eating her as well as through Willy's character and motivations, but we don't ACTUALLY know anything. She could have been secretly in control of ALL of Marley, or she could have been a timid, manipulated, brainwashed child like the warriors. We don't know but there's reason for both. All we know is Eren seemed darker, silent, resentful after inheriting her titan. She also seemed like she could've been a support for Willy too, based on her reassuring him even after his death, even though she was younger. I choose to think she urged him to take action after the Tybur family's long years as idle rich who let their own race suffer endlessly.
True she could ask be extremely evil and conniving ... And some people who misinterpret the Tyburs believe they're like H17ler or worse some antisemit1c stereotype ... But that's, in my opinion, far from the truth. (Also Willy seems heavily NORSE inspired)
I also think people dislike Willy and Lara because there WAS some mishandling in their writing. While the mystery IS part of what's alluring about them, Eren won in a way he shouldn't have. It felt like plot armor. Lara made a big impression and then died. It felt sloppy.
Aside from that I love Willy and Lara because I really do like their character designs x) I think both of them are beautiful (though again, that's far from the only reason I like them) ... Also Lara is fun AF to cosplay and if I was a man I would cosplay Willy for sure. I also like the very WW1 vibe of the Tyburs and their aesthetic (I need to write an essay someday on why AoT is primarily inspired by ww1 and English history rather than ww2).
Thank y'all for reading and I hope you enjoyed!! <3



(also for a literature class on classical rhetoric, I did a deep dive into Willy's speech and motivations as an essay for my final. I'm still waiting to get it back. I would like to possibly transcribe it into a post since I didn't really address Willy's motives much here. It's very similar to this one except it's about Willy more than Lara.)
#please let me know of any typos#willy tybur#lara tybur#character analysis#attack on titan#aot#hot take#anime#manga#please be civil#進撃の巨人#warhammer titan#i love them#they are very complex#i don't think willy is a good person#but he's not the worst#i think that part of the plot is also kind of confusing so i understand people not liking them
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https://www.tumblr.com/museaway/746766290005508096?source=share
2,3,4,7,8,9,10,14,16,17,19,22,24,25,26,28
-🤔
[Warning: This is stupid long. Yikes.]
2. Character’s POV being explored:
Oops. My Incorrect Quotes don’t really have a POV. 😅 I think at most, I’ve explicitly removed a character from the end of a couple, to emphasize the joke through only the remaining character’s dialogue.
3. Feelings about current WIP:
I’m not happy with the end, so it might just sit there for a few more days until I figure it out.
4. Unwritten story idea:
I have a very rough outline of an actual fic! Future Wenclair, post college. It’s… super dark. Just a torrid angst spiral from Enid’s POV, where she begins to unwittingly choose her work and social life over her wolf and Wednesday, with terrible consequences.
I put it together last year, before I actually started writing anything. It’s unlikely to see the light of day, because I honestly don’t have the energy, attention span, and sequential periods of uninterrupted free time to try writing anything in long format. 😢 Maybe someday!
7. Preferred writing font:
Something san serif. I’d prefer one with a bit more letter spacing, but I’m stuck with Tumblr’s default font, Favorit-Tumblr.
8. If I had to sequel one:
Probably this old one, about Wednesday and her pet blog. I have ideas about reblogs and blog reproductive cycles.
9. Elapsed time for the last one:
Today’s took maybe 10-15 minutes from start to posting. I needed something short since I wanted to do my daily post before answering this Ask. My notes only read “Hard to swallow” and it basically wrote itself. It took just as long to find the right animated gif as it did to write it out. 😅
10. Longest rest for a draft before completion:
Intentional rest? I guess this one at 5-ish days, where the gang takes turns answering the question: What’s the best thing about dead bodies? I just wasn’t feeling the gang’s banter, so put off fiddling with it until it felt interesting again.
There’s normally scant delay between writing and posting. If I’m lucky, I might have 1 or 2 completed IQs waiting to be posted. I try to post at least 2 per day and I’m terrible at not posting one the moment it’s completed, so… yup. 😒
14. Inspiration source:
Primarily the fandom! I wouldn’t be able to write these if I hadn’t first read so many Wenclair fics that parodying the characters became possible. I really do rely on the community-created tropes and personalities to act as the skeleton upon which meaty puns are anchored.
16. Favorite place to write:
In my home office during work hours, where I can go mostly undisturbed, have a super comfy Steelcase Leap to relax in, music, and a tablet at the ready.
Yes, work hours. I tend to do my job quickly and well, but nothing gets those creative juices going better than having something else you should be doing. 😅
17. Writing and editing process:
Idea? Jot it down. Keep a list. Time to write? Check ideas. Pick one that looks fun. Write it. Nothing interesting? Uh. Do one of the following:
Look through animated gifs of dogs doing derpy things for wolf Enid (tedious AF)
Search idioms based on words that Wednesday can take too literally
Wonder what would piss off Bianca > Yoko > Weems > other character (ordered by favorite)
Think up a bad joke for Enid to tell Wednesday so she gets mortifyingly aroused
Find slang for Wednesday to misinterpret
If all else fails, dive into that gutter humor 😬
Etc?
With an idea in hand, I just start writing it out straight in the Tumblr app. Totally rawwolfing it. When it’s done, I review and check for (and fail to find) errors. Sometimes I’ll run it by my SO, who isn’t a Wenclair fan, but can confirm if a joke makes sense.
After that, I tag and release the thing into the wild, so it may derp free of my fragile little skull.
19. Most interesting fic-related research topic:
The historical material composition of hanging nooses and the strength differences between traditional hemp and modern Manila hemp, which is actually made from a specific Filipino banana tree as opposed to Cannabis plants.
All that for a joke about thread count. 😗
22. Worries about public reaction and how to get past it:
It hasn’t really come up. Honestly, I’m just happy that people read my stuff and can enjoy a laugh. It helps that I haven’t received much criticism, but I’ve also worked for years in a graphic design-related field that forced me to be able to produce (often dumb) fruit even when in an inhospitable environment near barren of sincere appreciation and/or constructive criticism. 😬 Kinda like a creative extremophile.
For advice to get past it? Keep at it. Find your audience(s) if you care to and focus on them. Keep in mind what you enjoy about the hobby and nurture that sucker. Learning how to shrug off negativity takes experience, but when in doubt, take a break! It’s a hobby, and even if it may at times feel otherwise, remember that it does not define you.
24. Recharge method when not creative:
Reading Wenclair fics and listening to audiobooks. I always have a book queued up and jump between fantasy, urban fantasy, lit rpg, cozy fantasy, sci-fi, bio-terrorism thrillers, queer romance, queer horror, and queer coming-of-age. 😅
25. Hobbies other than writing:
Drawing and semi-regular D&D. There’s other stuff I haven’t had time to enjoy lately, like computer games, clay sculpting, mask making, dancing, juggling, fire spinning, etc.
26. Writing around others:
I am always around others outside of work, so I make do. It’s usually fine, unless said others are those who are prone to toddling. Trying to write around one of them is often a lost cause. 😭
28. Least favorite part of the writing process:
For me, it’s transcribing posts from Tumblr to AO3. Particularly posts with a lot of styling, like small text and Chat. Not everything copy/pastes 1-to-1 and some chapters have to be manually edited as html, which is stupendously tedious doing on the phone. And if it has an image? Uuughghghh. 😖
OMG I’m done! I’m free! FREE! FR—
#wenclair#my fics#my fanfic writing#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#writer thoughts#writing struggles#answered asks#asks answered#asks#not an incorrect quote
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GtN and HtN spoilers!! CW: talk of not having control over your body
just randomly thought of this now so excuse my incoherentness or possible ignorance or if anyone has said this before (this is also my first ever tumblr post so sorry for formatting errors), but i was looking at fanart of cytherea the first and just loving it. i realized there’s just something so baroque about her, and i think that’s on purpose. because she’s of the 7th house yes, the emperor’s joy and all that, but also because she’s a woman, and also because she’s dying. she’s expected to be beautiful because of her affiliation and her gender, all while she’s decaying from a disease that she was doomed to be born with and could never escape until it ultimately killed her. wilting away infront of everyone. and the ENTIRE time, she was given roses. roses, the pinnacle of beauty. every single rose she was given had a meaning, a life. and every single rose died. inevitably, wilting away infront of her. reminding her of her own fragile, ‘beautiful’ self. and even after she was dead, she was laid to rest drowned in roses that were modified to stay perpetually fresh, along with her body (i think) ((which of course john would do, after reading nona i’m not surprised)). not even eternally asleep could she catch a break. i think tamsyn muir was saying something here about how the ‘ideal woman is a dead one’. she is silent, still, and malleable. that’s what she pretended to be in canaan house. but i don’t think she ever could truly be. she was too angry. too enraged. also the fact that she became a lyctor in hopes she could be cured but just ended up suffering in a stagnant state of sickness for thousands of years, the fact that she was purposely given this disease. the fact that john LIED. lied to everyone. lied to HER. before her life, during her life, and after her life, things were done to her body without her informed consent. her cancer being almost prophetic, her unknowing improper lyctoral ascension, and the possesion of her empty shell of a body. (also it being used as a medium for pyrrha and wake is a whole other thing) she IS the rage of not having control over your own body. i think, ultimatley, that’s what her character is about. i mean, i’m pretty sure harrow stabbing The Sword™️ INSIDE her unwilling corpse was probably a metaphor or something…
“we take so much. i’m so sorry.”
(again i just thought of this thirty minutes ago so feel free to add anything 🙏) ((i also wonder how this parallels dulcinea and her life but it’s 1 am and i don’t feel like thinking anymore. but i think we’ll learn more about her in alecto.))
the art that inspired this was a beautiful cytherea and harrow drawing by pygmypouter on tumblr!
#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#gideon the ninth#harrowhark nonagesimus#nona the ninth#tlt#tlt spoilers#tlt series#tlt brainrot#cytherea the first#cytherea loveday#gideon nav#dulcinea septimus#tlt analysis#tamsyn muir#sorry if i did anything wrong LMFAO#tamsyn you’ve done it again#alecto the ninth#palamedes sextus#camilla hect#locked tomb#tlt meta
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