#hail and well met and stuff

[saltspill]

anyway hiiiiii, I already have followers? somehow????

[plugnuts]

It’s OC posting hours with Felix and Ebony

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Eddie hated this and he'd just started.

See, he was so proud when he made it, when he got his first office job. He saw what decades of physical labor did to Wayne's back, his hands, and he wanted to make his uncle proud. So he kept applying and applying and getting ignored and rejected and finally, finally he got a job in a pretty large corporate. Not exactly something prestigious, but hey, it had potential. The experience counted and all that.

He thought maybe workplaces would be different, that the good ol' high school dynamic would fuck off, but no. He was sitting at his desk, trying to fill in paperwork after a taxing phone call, but all he could focus on was whispering from the neighboring cubicle that was ostentatiously loud. He didn't know who sat there yet, the guy had been on vacation for the two weeks Eddie was in the company. From the stuff he was hearing, he was getting introduced anyway and not exactly the way he'd have liked to be.

"Can you believe they actually let him work here?" It was Carol, of course it was, the office gossip and mean girl knockoff. "I mean, he doesn't even look decent! Did you see that hair?" Okay, that hurt. He actually pulled his hair into a neat bun every morning, but you can't please some people. "And he has tattoos, what would our customers think if they actually met him, plus you should have heard the rumors about his past-!"

But just as he was about to slam down the pile of paperwork and either take an extended smoke break or gently ask Carol to go fuck a polar bear, he heard another voice. Bored and wonderfully bitchy.

"That's absolutely fascinating, Carol. Please tell me more, what could this guy possibly have done? It must be something juicy. Did he perhaps fuck his boss during the Christmas party and then lie about it to his boyfriend of five years? Oh wait no. That was you. Silly me."

Eddie had to bite his pencil to stay quiet, but his whole chest hurt by trying to keep the snickering in. And then the offended gasp. "I- you promised you wouldn't-!"

"I didn't promise shit, Carol. You just came to me, cried your eyes out - bad move by the way, invest in some waterproof mascara for god's sake, mascara in wrinkles doesn't good on anyone, and yes, you do have wrinkles - and tried to play the victim. Except I heard your small proposition to the guy before so it didn't really work out. But it's fine, you know," and oooh, the tone was smug, so bored, Eddie loved this guy already, "Tommy saw you as well and had a good time with Nicole to get even. So there's nothing to worry about. Now tell me, what did this horrible Eddie Munson do to summon wrath of such a righteous woman such as yourself?"

Eddie heard a sharp sound as Carol got up from the desk. "Fuck you, Steve Harrington," she spat out and sped past Eddie's seat. He just gave her a small salute.

When the sound of high heels faded, Eddie leaned over the cubicle wall and knocked to draw the guy's attention. And yeah, maybe he was a little bit biased because he'd just obliterated a textbook definition of a shrew, but this Steve was fucking gorgeous, light brown eyes looking at him, a smug smirk tugging at his lips.

"Oh hi," said Steve and offered his hand, shaking Eddie's. "Sorry for that. I'm Steve Harrington and whatever deepest, darkest secrets you're hiding, I don't care, I'm pretty sure I've heard them all. What did you do? Shave your head in school? Join a cult? Cut dolls apart and chant hail Satan?"

That had Eddie laughing again, but he still had an introduction to make. A proper one. "Nice to meet you, Steve. Eddie Munson, and I'm worse than your darkest nightmares. I sometimes wear socks in sandals."

Steve's eyebrow twitched. "Oh, Carol was right, you are a monster!" he muttered. "Speaking of monsters..." His head leaned to the side, towards Carol who was angrily carrying her coffee mug, her mascara running again.

Before he could catch himself, Eddie leaned over the wall and whispered as loudly as he could muster. "Can you believe some people wear dotted dresses with stripes on their stockings? We can't all be born with taste, I guess...tragic."

And again, maybe Eddie was just biased, but Steve's laughter was so pretty that it actually made dealing with Carol's bullshit worth it.

[hor3nee]

• Vows •

Gojo figuring out how arranged marriage works.

CW/TW: Fem! reader, Arranged Marriage, Heavy suggestive stuff, Mentions of virginity, Condoms?, Gojo typical flirting, Reader & Gojo ages implied to be very young (18-23), SFW (Lmk if I should add anything else!)

Characters: Gojo x Reader

AN: Pt 2 of this fic. I will die on this bitchless Gojo hill.

"You look as beautiful as the day I married you hon'." He says with his characteristic wide smile, proud of himself for that line. Even threw in a sweet pet-name, the kind girls like.

"You married me, like, two weeks ago." He should not be proud of himself for that line.

The silence is almost deafening after that, and Gojo hates the quiet. Can't stand it. He's not used to it, he's loud and obnoxious, he's self-aware of that though, part of his charm he says. Charm, he's got an endless bountiful of it, in his ego-ridden mind at least, and honestly, he's not wrong. There's absolutely nothing Gojo lacks.

Killing curses as though it's walking through a park, handing out checks like he's got an unlimited supply of them. A living breathing powerhouse, a god even, some could say. He's young, a very young man, but he's already hailed by Jujutsu society and about anyone with a semblance of knowledge of who he was, The Strongest.

Fresh into adulthood and he's already considered one, if not the most notorious man in Jujutsu society, the potency he holds is incomparable to any other. Handsome too. Fluffy pearl white hair, legs for days, a nice build, toned, keeps it all maintained effortlessly, genetics or the such he thanks for it. A flirt in nature, girls fawned over him, how could they not? An attractive dashing young man such as himself of course they do.

Never been with one before though. A woman.

He didn't date in his teens, school was grueling, he was the strongest and he was busy, always. He could get a girl all buttered up on words sure, he has one hell of a mouth on him... Couldn't actually ask one out though, or kiss one, or get laid by one. His experience with them is non-existent. Truthfully, Gojo is as virgin as a virgin could be, he seems like he lacks in nothing, but relationships? He's clueless.

Yet here he is, married. Weaved into a union with a woman. The papers signed, wedding ceremonies done, vows out and said. Sealed his whole self to another, to you. And as are you, sewn into this 'relationship' same as he is to each other. Orchestrated by the hands of Clan elders, arranged before either of you had met each other.

Fourteen nights of sharing the same bed since, living together as spouses. It's odd, confusing, Gojo who bathes himself in self-assured composure twenty-four-seven, hasn't the faintest idea how this works. But, he is Satoru Gojo, he's hot shit, and you haven't had any complaints yet. Even if you're only two weeks into marriage, he's got this.

Just like he's got everything else in his life, he's sure of himself. The two of you have slowly, but surely gotten more comfortable with each other. Gojo does well, friendly and welcoming by nature, albeit it can come off as cockiness, he brings energy into every dinner you two share so it doesn't feel jarring and off-putting eating with basically a stranger who you'd call your spouse.

The times you touch, comes off as natural. A smooth one he is, Gojo, craftically slipping his hand by your ear to tuck a strand hair, nudging you awake in the morning effortlessly so you don't get startled. The touch of your knees when you sit beside each other. It feels natural, he makes it feel natural.

To you.

But Gojo? His brain is working in overdrive, has been since the day he took you home from the wedding. He didn't realize it at first, still full of himself in ever-lasting confidence, but as quickly as the first two weeks of being newlyweds went by, so did the semblance of stability he held in his ego. Neither of you had even shared a kiss yet. That should've happened by now, right?

Fuck.

Wait, should you two have fucked by now? Lord knows he's thought about it, a lot, he's a young man stocked full of endless libido. And you are his wife, and you're pretty. Every feather-light touch he's managed to sneak in effortlessly you seemed at ease in, but he's been mentally reeling if it's too far. Too inappropriate, but then again you are his wife.

He's your husband, you two are literally married, living together, sleeping together. Sleeping together only, of course, sex feels like something in the distant future. He'd hate to pressure you, especially since you two are just starting out, technically already locked in, till death do us part, but truly just at the start of companionship with each other.

But Gojo, is impatient and a bit aloof. He's not gonna push for anything, but when he saw the condoms at the store and thought 'Hey I have a girl now!' what else was he supposed to do? Immaturity at its finest considering how he's now sat with you, and the condoms stuffed into his back pocket while you two sit on the bed and you'd just shot down his sad attempt at flirting. With his own wife.

"...Is there something you wanna tell me?" Your eyes are glued to your phone as you ask, but he notices they flicker onto him. He's staring, isn't he? You've gotten used to it, his eyes just have a mind of their own, he can't help it he always looks like he's glaring even when he's not, and after a week spent with you sharing a home with him, he can't help himself but look at you. You're beautiful. And you're his.

"Maybe." He'll settle for being a smug little shit instead, still staring at you as he speaks.

"Maybe?" You repeat, putting down your phone in interest as he clearly tries to lure you to talk.

He hums, shrugging innocently and crawling to your side of the bed, used to be his but the night of your wedding you unknowingly took that side and he's been letting you rest on it since. Seamlessly, he pulls his face to yours in a swift but not sudden motion, his nose almost budding with yours.

There's a shared glance, a look into his eyes as he looks into yours, and the density of the air in the bedroom suddenly shoots up straight to 100. Ticklish bouts of his breath fanning lightly against your cheek while he smiles at you, expression, as always, never faltering. But movements telling. He takes your chin by his narrow fingers. You hadn't even seen them move to grasp your face, too transfixed on the look in his palpitating eyes instead.

"Can I kiss you?" There's a second, a moment for you to think, drawn out by the way his voice glides through your ears as he asks. Two weeks together, vowed to one another and you've found yourself caught in his gaze alone. You're starting to feel it, the drum of your heart responding to him.

And so, you nod, his grasp on your chin so gentle you don't even notice it's there holding your face near his as you do. It happens quickly, but it feels like an eternity, a good kind, a soft sort of mere milliseconds between the nod of approval and him moving forward catching your lips against his. His lips are soft, lulling against you and though brief has you leaning into him for more, slouching into him like you're calling for him to caress, to feel more of him in the moment, and he does that, his hands moving to wrap around your waist, pulling you into him.

Once it's done and you two, in natural timing, pull away with a slight wet plop noise breaking the silence you can see it in his eyes. Desire, need, and maybe, just maybe, love. It's small but it's there.

He meant it when he said he liked you, then on that first night, purely by expectation, you're his wife. Of course, he likes you, you're supposed to like him, he's your husband. But two weeks in and he's understanding it more, what it means to like someone, to have them as yours. To have you as his. His dazed expression from a kiss alone tells you that, this is real. He's married and he just kissed a girl, the girl he's promised his life to.

"..Gojo-"  You murmur as he reels from the kiss and gathers himself, a goofy grin plastered on his hazed expression.

"Mhm~" He purrs at you, starting to get giddy.

"Are those condoms?" He blinks at your question, stare breaking from your eyes and your lips he'd left wet with his saliva he'd been caught up looking into, to where your eyes had turned to look. He follows your eyes and looks to see the box out of his pocket, crumpled slightly from him sitting on it, spilled open over the bed.

The rubbers are all over the bed.

His hands don't pull off the sides of your waist, and his smile doesn't falter. Instead, his smirk grows, and he turns back to look at you in the eyes again. Giddy expression is written all over his face, his fingers pulling you closer with ease, because you lean into it and situate yourself closer as he does so, responding to him.

"Yup!" Gojo Satoru has no room for shame. Much less with the pretty woman he has as a wife. Marriage, the foundation of family, what makes a house a home, as his elders told him, he's getting it now. Having you here only two weeks it's already starting to feel properly shared with you, his house, your home, both of yours home. 

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

i literally have no idea what this is, or where it came from but here's a thing:

pairing: steddie | word count: 2,043 | rated: M (will be E in next part)

Eddie Munson was not Steve’s bi awakening, okay? He wasn’t.

He just happened to be standing in the middle of Family Video dressed like his bi awakening (and it didn’t help that he already had an embarrassingly huge crush on the guy).

Steve had come out of the back none the wiser to what he was about to see, glancing up from the tape he was carrying for someone who’d called earlier. His eyes met big, clunky, worn-in cowboy boots, long lean legs (and very nice ass–damn, they’ve got one of those stupid bandanas in their back pocket too) in classic Levis so tight they looked like they were painted on, the back of leather jacket (--hold on), and the back of a head of long, wild-looking, sun-kissed, yet still dark hair.

After his seconds-long oogling, Robin, who was chatting with Bon Jovi’s twin at the counter, glances behind him at Steve. 

Bon Jovi tries to turn and look back without taking himself off the counter, but when that insane hair of his gets in the way, he shoves up off the counter and spins on one heel.

“Munson? Where the hell’ve you been?” Steve thanks whatever it is up there that the surprise of seeing Eddie again temporarily suspends his frazzled ‘hothothothothot’ thoughts about his friend enough to respond normally.

“Damn, Stevie, been gone all summer and all I get is a ‘The hell’ve you been’?”

“Of course, asshole, you’ve been gone All. Summer.” Steve says, finally getting to the counter himself and dropping the tape on it. He scoops Eddie up in a tight hug, one long won from their month of recovery post-Vecna.

Everything went fine, Vecna was dead, the upside-down sealed away, but they hadn’t all left unscathed. Specifically Steve and Eddie, both of whom ended their spring break from hell nursing bat wounds, and closer than ever before. 

Then, after finally graduating, being hailed a hero for “saving” Max and Dustin from the real killer (thank you, suspicious government people), Eddie was hauled out of Hawkins by his Uncle, the former of whom got just enough time for a quick ‘Gotta go, Wayne wants me helping out at the farm this summer,’ before he was gone.

“I told you I would be, Harrington,” Eddie says once Steve sets him back down on his own two feet.

“So what happened? Where’ve you really been?”

Eddie raises a brow, “At the farm. Like I said.”

“Okay, well, excuse me for thinking it may have been the same 'farm' my parents said my childhood dog was sent off to.”

“You think my Uncle was gonna take me upstate to shoot me dead?”

“Obviously not, dumbass, but what other goddamn reason would you, Eddie Munson, have to be on a farm. Like with cows and stuff?”

“Though the sun did you some favors,” Robin cuts back in.

And isn’t that the truth. Up close now (and letting himself look), Steve could see how Eddie’s normally dark hair and pale complexion were now sun-kissed and so well be-freckled that it sent his stomach for another rollercoaster ride.

“Yeah, Munson, you planning on keeping the blond around?” Steve teases, picking up a strand of sun-lightened hair off Eddie’s shoulder and giving it a short tug.

“I don’t know, I’m not really used to how light…”

Whatever Eddie says after that is completely drowned out by ringing in Steve’s ears because Eddie stretches an arm up to paw at the top of his head and he’s wearing a crop top.

He’s wearing a goddamn crop top under his jacket, some band tee that looks like he’d hacked off himself..and are those abs?? God damn he is so fine. It’s not fucking fair. Who does he think he is running around like Steve’s own personal wet dre–

“Holy shit.”

He couldn’t help it. The words just fell out of his mouth.

“H-holy shit, you’ve got abs, Eddie!”

‘Thank you, Robin.’ Steve thinks at her absently since his brain is completely preoccupied..

“Wha–? Oh! Yeah! Check me out, huh?!” Eddie grins wide, lifting his shirt just a bit more to show off the toned expanse of stomach. 

Steve’s mouth goes bone dry.

“And that’s not all,” Eddie says. He drops his shirt and shucks the jacket off his shoulders.

His very well sculpted shoulders.

And arms.

And oh god those hands. Steve could hear the soft scrapes of rough callouses against the leather when Eddie threw the garment onto the counter beside him and his only thought was about how they might feel against his skin..

Still beaming, Eddie flexes one, then both arms, his biceps bunching under more tanned skin. “I got a lot of ‘lifting heavy things and putting them back down again’ in over the summer.” he continues, “I’m probably stronger than you now, Harrington.”

“Ha haha, right..yeah. Robin, can you excuse us for a second?”

Steve doesn’t wait for her response before he grabs Eddie around one of those absolutely delicious biceps and hauls him through the store and out the back door.

He lets a grinning Eddie go as soon as they’re through the back door, taking a couple steps away towards the woods behind their building, and trying to calm down with measured breaths.

When he does turn around, Eddie’s stood away from the door, one hip cocked out and his arms crossed across his chest.

The grin on his face has melted down into a smirk though, and the look in his eyes is less teasing and more cautious.

Steve steps back up close to the other man, and literally starts to circle him like a shark. Scanning his eyes up and down Eddie’s body as he does.

“What’s goin’ on Stevie? Looking for some style tips?” he jokes.

Steve doesn’t answer, and starts his second cycle around his friend.

“You know, maybe get rid of some of those polos?” Eddie sounds just a bit more unsure this time.

Steve’s behind Eddie’s right shoulder when he speaks again. “You think you can barge back in after all this time, looking like that,” Steve comes around to stand in front of Eddie again, “And not expect me to react?”

Eddie grins wickedly again, and steps back at the same time Steve steps forward.

“Expect me to not want to devour you whole?”

“You expect me to want that, big boy?” Eddie says as he’s pressed between Steve and the closed back door.

Steve rears back immediately, “Shit, Eddie, I’m sor–”

“‘Cause I do.” Eddie grabs hold of Steve and spins them around, pressing the younger man back against the door instead. “Ohhh boy, do I want that.”

Steve groans as Eddie slots their hips together, “You really are a big boy, aren’t you sunshine?”

“The things I’m gonna do to you..” Steve growls out, Eddie’s jaw snapping open with his words.

They’re both startled away from the back door when Robin bangs on it, “You’ve got five minutes to get back in here before I drag you back in! It’s Friday and we’re about to get busy!” she yells through the door.

He hears her converse squeak on the tile inside the door as she heads back to the front, then chances a look at Eddie.

He looks as red as Steve feels, from the bit of his face he can see from behind the hair he holds over it.

“Eddie–”

“It’s cool, Harrington,” he wheezes out a dry laugh, glancing over at him, “Better get in for the rush before Robin comes back.

He reaches for the handle again, but is stopped short by a hand on his wrist.

“Listen, Eddie.” Steve says, giving the other man’s arm a soft tug to get him to turn around. “I may have gotten a little…over enthusiastic…”

Eddie’s face scrunches up in a weird way.

“No! Not in a bad way, unless you weren’t as into it as I was–doesn’t matter! Point is, I may have gone a little crazy, but I wasn’t faking it.”

“I don’t think guys can fake it, Steve-o.” Eddie jokes softly, a small smile on his face.

Steve chuckles just as soft, “Shut up man, you know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“I think you do.”

“I dunno Steve," Eddie shrugs sarcastically, "You’re quite an enigma.”

“Okay, fine, here’s it spelled out for you: I am super into you.” Steve puts up a finger to stop whatever it is Eddie was about to say, “Hold on– I am bisexual, have been for a while and would like to try this..with you. If you want.”

“You gotta be more specific on what ‘this’ is, sunshine.” Eddie steps close to him once again.

Steve smirks, walking Eddie backward to the door again with both hands on his waist. Once he’s got him pressed back against the warm metal, he scoops the hair away from Eddie’s ear and holds it out of the way with a hand on the back of his neck.

He leans in, whispering right into Eddie’s ear. “I want to take you apart, Eddie.”

Eddie sucks in a sharp breath and Steve can feel the man’s heart hammering against his own chest.

“I want to suck you down, eat you out, and fuck you into next Tuesday.” He states, nipping on his earlobe for good measure before pulling back. 

Steve takes in Eddie’s flushed face, his eyes blown out they’re almost completely black, his chest heaving.

“I’d also like to totally romance you and date the fuck out of you, but…” he shrugs, grinning as Eddie smacks his chest lightly with a laugh of his own.

“I’m serious though, Eddie. I want this.”

Eddie’s smile falls slightly. “You sure about the whole dating thing, Harrington? You know you can’t date me for real..like in public and shit.”

Steve shrugs, “I know, but… I don’t think I’d survive something casual with you, Eddie.”

Eddie lets out a breath like he’d been punched.

He takes back in a deep breath, then pulls Steve flush to him again.

“I think that sounds amend—-”

Eddie’s forehead smashes into Steve’s nose when Robin shoves the door open behind Eddie.

“Damn! I knew the door was a bad idea.” Steve says, his voice coming out nasally from where he’s pinching at the bridge of his nose.

“Time’s up, Dingus, get your fruity butt inside.”

Eddie chuckles after her, leading Steve inside. “You shouldn’t tip your head back, lean forward and let it drain out.”

“Ugh, you sure? I’ll get blood all over me,”

“I’m sure, sweetheart, I’ve had a few bloody noses in my time.”

“Here,” Robin says once they reach the counter.

Steve takes the offered tissues, and soaks up the small trickle of blood.

“You still wanna date me if my nose is crooked?” he asks Eddie, who’s (sadly) shrugging his coat back on.

He pretends to think for a moment. “Sorry Stevie, that’s a dealbreaker. Even if it was my forehead what done it.”

“Ugh you’re such a dweeb, I don’t know what you see in him, Steve.”

“He’s hot, okay? And he’s still hot even after he rejected me just now.” Steve states matter-of-factly while shoving a wad of tissue into the one nostril still bleeding.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Very.”

“No, you’re gross. You guys are both gross.”

“Oh Birdie, you should've heard the things he was saying to me outside; all ‘Ooh Eddie, your muscles are so big and so is your hair and also your di—’”

“OKAY! That’s enough of that!” Steve cuts him off, pushing the still grinning Eddie toward the door, then, a softer: “Yours or mine after I’m off?” once they’re at the door.

“Definitely yours, unless you want Wayne to be privy to our shenanigans.”

“Yeah, that’s a no. Also, shenanigans? Really? You’re a super dweeb.” Steve smirks, pushing his boyfr— frien— Eddie out the front door. “I’m off at four, see you at five?”

Eddie fumbles backward over the curb but manages to catch himself, “It’s a date, Steve.”

He watches Eddie climb up into his van, and follows its path down the road and out of sight with a dreamy sigh.

“You still have tissues in your nose, Dingus.”

part 2/2 here | and on AO3!

definitely inspired by this post from @sparrowtapes

[kimberly-spirits13]

High School With Jason Todd

You met Jason because he was shadowing at your school during your Freshman year

if you don't know what that is, it's basically when a prospecting student goes to a school for a day with a student chaperone to see if they want to attend the school

so Jason does this the first month of your Freshman year

when he's there, he's not really shy, but he's more reserved

He shadows one of the boys that was in your first period government class and decides that you're more fun hanging out with than the brick brain jock he was assigned to

not all jocks are stupid, but this dude was brainless and didn't care much about school

Jason liked that you were smart and payed attention in class

it helps that you're pretty too

he doesn't talk to you much, and instead just watches everything that is going on

When there's a group discussion in your advanced Lit class, he will discuss whatever book you guys are reading with you (of course he's read it too since he loves classical literature)

The Monday of the next week, you find that Jason is a full time student at your school

He sits next to you during every class and makes sure to keep up conversation with you about anything

You start doing projects together and hanging out outside of school and the teachers like to pair you two together since you work really well together

Jason likes study hall the best because he can sit and talk to you about whatever you want to talk about, watch a movie, listen to music, watch YouTube, or most of the time just catch up on homework and help each other with stuff

Everyone knows that Jason has a crush on you like come on

he doesn't give any other person the time of day and all the girls are losing their minds over him

like who wouldn't though

You start hanging out at each others houses

He takes you to the library at the manor and you two can spend hours there

Sometimes Alfred will have made a bunch of snacks and the two of you will watch some movie or tv show in the theatre room

Dick likes to tease you two about it when he's at the manor and Jason hates it

Bruce is just happy that someone is making Jason so nice and generally pretty happy all the time

Alfred likes you because you keep Jason in line and you really like his cooking

You probably find out about Jason's Robin life during the middle or end of Freshman year

You give him a key to your house and start leaving your window unlocked to your bedroom so that he can crawl in and hang out

you two will probably "platonically" cuddle because neither of you have said how you feel yet

It isn't until one day during the middle of Sophomore year where you two start dating

You had driven yourself to Wayne Manor one Friday and it started to pour rain outside and hail so you were allowed to stay over

You and Jason were sitting in the theater and you had your legs over his while you were painting your toes

Dick came in and started teasing you two again until Jason threw a bottle at him and Dick left

Jason goes very quiet and looks at you "What are your feelings towards dating?"

you're like 😳 and you tell him that you really like him and would like to date

"Well then, seeing as we already look like we're dating, I say we make it official Doll."

Jason likes to pick you up for school in the nice car that Bruce got him

Jason doesn't really like that it wasn't something that Jason got for himself, but it was an older classic sports car that he and Bruce worked on restoring and making it perfect for Jason

He likes that when he pulls up anywhere with you in it, it's obvious that you're dating

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

I had a long argument with someone on whether or not stomping Belos before he dies was better than letting him die pathetically, and I asked myself if that is what fans really believe in... or if they would hail any Belos' death as the perfect one if Dana choose a different one?

They also justify the stomping as being part of horror-comedy genre and that Belos should not have any dignity what so ever because apparently letting him die in despair with no stomping is running the risk of making the audience feel "sorry" for him.

Honestly, these justifications make The Owl House feel more shallow. Like, why shouldn't the audience be allowed to feel sorry for Belos? What is the danger? That people would agree with Belos' views?

Or are we supposed to develop a black and white view of the world akin to a conservative view but inverted? And then hide behind the horror comedy genre to justify less drama? I hate to say it, but Nostalgia Critic is right about Belos being this strange outlier. The show seems to be afraid of actually doing a complex, tragic and yet irredeemable villain.

It doesn't make any sense to argue that Belos' death fits because of toh's genre as a horror comedy because the scene was neither played for horror nor laughs. At best, you have the image of Philip slowly being dissolved by the rain and then Raine's smug "that was satisfying" line. The overall tone of the scene is one of contempt as Philip tries one last plea to Luz only to be snuffed out (and weirdly validated) by the heroes. Its intent is to be cathartic for both audience (though as you know doubt know, YMMV) and the characters.

Frankly, despite its marketing, I don't see toh as either a horror or a comedy because it spends more time on slice of life stuff and high school teen drama and romance. And even when it does go for the horror and comedy, both are rather tepid. You want a real example of a horror-comedy for kids, then go watch Courage the Cowardly Dog or Invader Zim.

The reason why I argue the heroes validated Belos is because in the moment of his death, he clings to the idea that as humans, "we're better than this!" It's a moment of pathetic delusion that is appropriately met with silence but then it's ruined with Eda and Co. barging in with "Well, we ain't!" only to then prove his point by mercilessly stomping an already dying man to death. There's a reason why kid shows usually end with either the villain being imprisoned or not outright being murdered by the heroes. Evil has to die by its own hubris, not get killed by the heroes after the Big Battle when they're no longer a threat. I made a post about the importance of defeating a major antagonist twice.

Belos' death also doesn't work with a "Kill your oppressors" theme because the show isn't about that. The show barely spends any time showing why the EC is bad for the Boiling Isles and Eda is the only named wild witch we see getting harassed by them and even then, it's mostly played for laughs given how inept the coven scouts are (seriously, they're able to quit without fear of repercussions).

I think a reason fans are split on Belos' death is because of differing expectations; the fans who paid attention to Belos and the implication of his backstory and waited for every lie to come crashing down on him since that's what the show seemed to be building up to only to be unceremoniously ignored in the end were no doubt disappointed. Then you have the other fans who hated the character to the point that any gruesome death will do, regardless whether it made narrative or thematic sense or not.

Ultimately, I think the biggest reason his death doesn't work is because Belos fails as a villain.

Belos' status as a colonial puritan only works on a meta-level; it serves a cathartic release for marginialized people to see a representative of real world oppression beaten by queer characters as it fulfills the fantasy of finally overthrowing an oppressive system. The fatal flaw though is that none of this works on a narrative level because the coven system is either treated as a joke or simply a career path one must choose and we never see the disenfranchisement of wild witches. People largely get off scot-free opposing Belos, which undermines his credibility as both a dictator and a villain because no one cares about him until the plot needs them to. Luz doesn't even care about proving he's evil until Hollow Mind, which is halfway through season 2.

Belos as a villain only works if you project your own feelings and desires in wanting to see the Evil Christian/Evil Parent destroyed. While this is extremely satisfying emotionally, it does not make a sound story.

All the reasons why people like his death ("it's great the evil colonizer died so pathetically!" "omg, the white christian colonizer was killed by two queer people and their adopted son!" etc) are all meta reasons. And to be clear, it's totally fine if you thought his death was satisfying. But for many people, it did not work for a variety of reasons, including narrative ones. And that differing opinion should be respected instead of arguing some nonsense like "we have to make our villain as stupid/evil as possible or run the risk of people liking/sympathizing with him."

Belos should have died in a manner that connected back to his original sin: the murder of his brother. All of his lies and delusions and fear of being wrong should have played a part in the finale. He should have not died thinking he was right. He should have died realizing that all he did was for nothing. And that he is to blame. And that there is no one waiting for him back home.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

I love your Lords of chaos stuff and would really like if you could write something about Euronymous dating a girl who has a completely different aesthetic as him (girly, pink, super sweet and innocent) it can have smut . And if it could talk about how the dark circle feels about their relationship and stuff. Thank you and would truly love it.

Okay so this was really, really fun to write because of the dynamic. I hope you like it and as always have fun reading :)

Princess and the Vampire

warning : big fluff, use of Y/n

masterlist-Lords of Chaos 2018

masterlist-Rory's characters

Second Part

Diclaimer : I don't want to glorify anything, it's about the actors who play a role, not the real events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two couldn't have looked more different when they entered the shopping centre. The young woman was dressed in bright colours, but most of all it was her pink top that revealed her silver belly button piercing with a little Hello Kitty pendant on it that drew attention. not to forget her blue jeans with the colourful flowers sewn on them.

A typical glittery girl of the nineties from the outside. If she hadn't intertwined her fingers with those of a dead man. Next to her, a young man with longer black hair, black leather trousers, jumping boots and a T-shirt with satanic symbols on it. Two completely different people who loved each other more than anything else.

She heard him mutter to his friend, who was now giving the tenth pensioner a death stare and scaring him off with ,,Hail Satan". But this only made his friend smile, which is exactly why she loved her friend. While he was him and they both accepted each other as they were. Pink and girlish and dark satanic.

Like Yin and Yang she thought and jumped beside him before they arrived in front of a jewellery shop only a few moments later. ,,You dragged me here for this...well then, if you want" he grumbled and she just giggled before pulling him behind her. She was grateful that he came along to her little shopping trip, as she knew he didn't think much of trends and the mainstream.

Which is why she gave him a kiss on the cheek which made him smile slightly. ,,So again, I hope you're prepared to be kicked out of my shop," she heard him say again and knew what he meant. Since you got together about a month ago he had been telling his friends/band/admirers that he had a girlfriend but it never came to a meeting.

You were just too different for that and Euronymous was sure that the circle would tear you apart. Even though you met by chance in an ice cream parlour and he got your strawberry ice cream and you got his dark chocolate ice cream, something clicked between you.

Turning to him and smiling confidently, she said, ,,I don't wear pink heels for nothing, you know," before turning back to the chains. ,,I just need one more thing and it's perfect" she thought and looked from star symbols, to little flowers and musical notes. ,,How about this?" she heard his voice and he held out a necklace with a skull on it.

Smiling but rolling her eyes slightly, she pushed the necklace back into his hand and said, ,,That would look good on you, my sweet vampire, why don't you go and get it?".

Looking a little further through the shelves she let out a squeal of delight and Euronymous covered his ears before coming over to her and smiling. ,,OMG she's cute, look at those little ears!" she exclaimed, practically pushing the necklace with the Hello Kitty pendant into his face, which he could more than see.

Taking his hands up with conviction, he looked at the necklace and said quietly, ,,Yeah, it's kind of cute," which she confirmed with a knowing nod before they went to the checkout and bought it. ,,Wait, I'll help you" the black haired man said and while she held her hair up slightly he fastened the clasp so that the necklace was in place.

She went to one of the shop windows and looked at herself in the rather bad reflection. ,,That looks super cute" she said delightedly and smiled a big smile at Euronymous who returned it before the two of them took each other by the hand again to make their way to the record shop.

Spraying her perfume, which smelled of cherries, around her one last time and putting it in her little pink bag, she saw Euronymous give her a murmuring smile before he opened the door for her and the two of them went inside.

There was no one in the shop itself and she saw her friend's brief relief as he ran his gaze over the plates before stopping at the path to the cellar. ,,Ready?" he asked, pulling aside the curtain where she could already hear the loud music coming from downstairs. Fixing her hair one last time, she nodded to him before following him downstairs.

She had only been in the basement a few times when the coven didn't have a meeting. But it definitely lacked colour in her opinion. Overcoming the remaining steps, she stood next to Euronymous with a broad smile. ,,Nice man, a hooker, didn't know this was going to be an orgy" was the first comment from someone wearing a bandana and grinning broadly.

The others laughed and she saw that it was not the first and not the second beer they all seemed to have had. ,,You must have paid the little one a lot," she heard the murmur of someone with long dark brown hair who was playing with a lighter and had a challenging look on his face.

That's the guy from the interview in the newspaper...Varg or something she thought, but didn't let the remarks get to her, she was above these things. ,,Or is she our victim, I really want to do it again" said a guy with long hair and a knife in his hand that flashed in the light who was sitting next to a guy with a heel cross chain. Before she noticed a blond, quiet, thin-looking guy she recognised as Pelle/Dead.

Euronymous's best friend as she knew. Just normal nice people. ,,No guys...this is Y/n my friend!" Euronymous interrupted his friends and followers and put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her close. She waved to the group before giving Euronymous a kiss on the cheek and pulling out of his embrace before walking over to the various guys.

She was more than ready. ,,Hi I'm Y/n...nice bandana where did you get that?" she asked the first one, shaking his hand eagerly before pulling the bandana hanging around his neck towards her. ,,It comes in pink too, I hope," she murmured and let go of him again with a grateful look. ,,Of course you can get it in pink in all colours...Hellhammer we could go and get some together" he replied quickly to her cheerful manner and shook her hand before returning to his beer and giving Euronymous a thumbs up for her.

Before she went over to the one with the lighter and shook his hand as well. Intrigued, she ran her hand over one of the soft strands of the boy's hair and said, ,,Wow, they're really soft...you must tell me about your hair care routine".

This seemed to throw the stranger slightly off track, but almost in spite of himself he began to write his routine on an old sarviert. ,,Here, it's not expensive at all, I'm Varg, by the way, I also have nice hair," he said and suddenly seemed almost embarrassed and quietened down before he sat down on a chair again and was quiet.

Putting the serving dish in her little bag, she went over to the boy with the knife. ,,You have a cute smile...what kind of sacrifice is that?" she complimented him and made a happy noise as she saw his cheeks turn a bright pink and he just put the knife away and shook his head slightly. Before he calmly said, ,,I'm Faust...not a victim, just a joke" and quickly took a long hit of his beer.

Nodding, she shook the hand of the guy next to Faust with the necklace before proudly holding it out to him. ,,You definitely need one with Hello Kitty, the colour would suit you," she said, and only heard the more than overbearing guy mutter an ,,Occultus" before leaning against Faust and giving him a searching look. Before she almost killed poor Pelle, who looked as if he would throw himself into Faust's knife.

She grabbed his face and turned it slightly from left to right. Before she said to Euronymous, ,,My little vampire, you never told me how pretty he is, you're missing make-up", she let go of Pelle and bounced happily back to her friend, who was watching the whole thing with a big grin. Before he pulled her to him, gave her a heartfelt kiss and wrapped his arm around her waist.

No one dared to say a word. ,,I see you are very good with the boys" he said delightedly and she just smiled proudly. To be more precise, she had the boys so well under control and she was so excited about herself that the evening ended in a Disney marathon, that's for sure.

She wasn't the one who cried at the death of bambies mother, but a certain black coven did. And since then she has been the pink shining exception of the black circle or simply the pink princess of black metal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@mayhem-things , @bvg-w1res , @beldamama

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Yang: Come on! It'll be fun!

Jaune: Okay, just, be gentle with my stuff? It's important to me.

Yang: I wasn't planning on denting your shield or whatever, just. Toss me your chest piece n' stuff.

~~~~~

Blake: Where are they? It's not like either of them to miss lunch.

Yang: Hail and Well met My fellow Hunters!

Blake: Yang, Where- Humina Humina Humina-

Yang: *Wearing Jaune's armor and Carrying Crocea Mors* Princess Belladonna of Menagerie! A most esteemed and beautiful presence to be gifted with!

Blake: *Drooling* My Knight ... My Knight~

Ruby: Okay but where's Jaune?

Weiss: Why would you worry about Him? He can handle himself.

Yang: One moment!

Yang: *Over her scroll* Jaune! Get in here!

Jaune: This feels silly Yang.

Yang: Listen Just do what I do when I lose confidence.

Jaune: And what's that?

Yang: Run your fingers through your hair, shake your head, take a deep breathe, mash your fists together twice, and exhale.

Jaune: ... Wow. That worked! I feel kinda pumped up now!

Yang: Yeah! Now get your butt in here! Remember: Confident friendliness, Not self-centered flirtation.

Jaune: *Entering the cafeteria* 'Sup!

Ruby: Jaune- JAUNE?

Jaune: *Wearing Yang's Bomberjacket, Shades, and Ember Celica. His hair is put back in dozens of tiny braids* How're you guys doin'

Weiss: ... Hey Blake?

Blake: You get it?

Weiss: I get it,

[jayconsumesmultiplechildrenaday]

Grian x Empires!Reader

Notes - This fic is set in Empires S2 during the hermitcraft crossover. The reader is the ruler of a very large lake around 250x250 blocks near spawn. They are a merfolk fresh water shark! Your also 7ft tall just like LDShadowlady was in season one.

Contents and warnings: Injury, Fluff, Being dropped from large heights

-You sat in your underwater palace, filling out some seaweedwork (paperwork), just recently, lots of new people joined the smp. Weather they were staying or not did not concern you, but since then your fellow rulers have pushed you to make a conduit.

It was annoying, now that you got lots of visitors, interrupting your work. None of them intrigued you enough to pay them any mind. Having annoying neighbours like Joey and Jimmy was already enough. But that changed one day.

You sat back in your chair boredly, watching as fish of all sorts swam by peacefully, paying no mind to you, a clear predator. You wished you could be as care free as them.

Your head snapped back towards the door when you saw something moving, only to be faced with an avian. Grian, you think his name was. He was known to be a prankster and being quite obnoxious. From the small amount of times you’ve seen him though, he’s seemed pretty chill.

“Hello.” You greeted hesitantly. He must’ve been so uncomfortable underwater with his feathers. You couldn’t understand why he’d get his wings ruined and all wet just to come down here to meet you.

“Hey!” He replied back, seemingly happy. “Your Y/n, right? All the other hermits have been telling me about you.”

“What’d they say? I’m a boring old shark who’s rude as fuck?”

Grian raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “No. They told me you seemed cool. Mysterious and stuff. I wanted to meet you for myself.” He smiled yet again. His cheerful expression was contagious and you felt a smile creep up onto your own face.

“Oh, we’ll, it’s nice to meet you.” You nodded politely. “Grian, right?”

“That’s me.” He said proudly.

“You must be very uncomfortable down here- if you’d like we can go back up to the surface so your wings can dry.” You suggested, watching his wings twitch every so often.

“Are you sure? I came here to meet you, there’s no need for you to sacrifice your time for me.” He waved it off, nervously.

“I insist.” You smiled softly. He hesitated but nodded and you both made your way out of the underwater palace and to the seperate, on land section of your castle that was for meeting with other rulers.

He smiled at you happily. “Your the last ruler I came to meet.” He said after a moment. “I don’t understand why I would put it off for so long. Your probably one of the nicest people I’ve met.” He chuckled.

You laughed as well. “Yeah, some of the others aren’t as caring as me, I guess.” You shrugged. You looked down at him and smiled again.

He paused for a moment, before speaking. “You never get used to the conduits. It feels strange being able to talk underwater without drowning and in hailing unhealthy amounts of unclean water.” He commented.

“Can’t relate.” You smirked and put one hand on your hip, looking down at him.

He rolled his eyes. “Shut up!” He said playfully. You’d met this man less then ten minutes ago and you probably already like him more than most of the other rulers.

“Sorry about your wings getting wet.” You said sheepishly.

“Oh no! It’s not your fault. I decided to go down there.” He replied quickly, reassuring you. “However, for payback I might as well do this.” He said before shaking off his wings aggressively, causing water to get all in her eyes.

You squealed playfully, like a child would, trying to blink it out. He laughed at your reaction, face palming. Soon enough you calmed down, and you both went silent for a moment. It wasn’t uncomfortable though, like every other silence you’d ever gone through. It felt comforting in a way.

“Have you ever flown before?” Grian asked out of the blue.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You laughed.

“I mean- like, with wings. You don’t seem to have an elytra.” He hummed.

“No, I don’t fly. I prefer it on the ground or in the ocean. Besides, why fly when you can swim faster? I get if your on land but I barely leave my kingdom anyway.” You shrugged.

“Would you like to?”

“What?”

“Would you like to fly with me? I could carry you. My wings are large enough to hold both of us, despite your large size.”

You couldn’t help the red hue spreading across your cheeks. You felt fuzzy inside. This man you barely knew would like to fly you somewhere. To help you experience knew things. Perhaps he also felt as though you were strangely comforting. “That… That would be nice I guess.”

He hesitated but slowly reached toward your arm which you allowed him to take. He then took your other hand and took off. You let out a scream in surprise and he laughed, pulling you closer.

“OH MY GOD LET ME DOWN! LET ME DOWN! LET ME DOWN!” You started screeching anxiously. You shut your eyes as tightly as possible, and soon enough, there was no more unusually strong gusts of wind. “Oh, than god you took me back to the gro-“ You started, opening your eyes only to realise you were above the clouds.

The sky was a beautiful hue of pink of the afternoon, and your lips parted gently. The clouds ran past underneath you, like mist in the wind. “Woah.” You whispered. Since takeoff, Grian had been quiet. You looked up at him only to see him looking straight ahead and smiling.

“I knew you’d like it.” He said softly. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Stunning. No wonder Joel brags about his view in Stratos.” You hummed softly.

Grian let out a laugh at that and you couldn’t help but join in. “Thank you. For being kind to me. The other hermits weren’t so nice.” You said grimly.

“It’s no big deal. Just another excuse to disappear for a while.” He smiled.

You nodded. “I know what you mean.” You we’re both silent for a moment, looking into the sunset. That’s when someone went flying bye. They passed at top speed, causing for both you and Grian to scream and he halted in the sky hastily. Little did he know he had lost grip on you until it was too late.

You let out a scream as you began to plummet down from the large height. This is it. Your dead. Your absolutely fucked. Your shark tail lashed anxiously but ineffectively in the fall. You screamed the whole way through the clouds and continued on the whole way down. Once passing the clouds, you realised you were over the top of a body of water, which was relieving in some ways but even more scary in others.

“Grian?!” You shouted up to the bird who was frantically trying to catch up with you. You were to heavy, however and there was no way he could keep up let alone overtake you to stop you. “Is that an ocean biome?!” You panicked.

“Yes! Why does it matter in this situation?!” He replied back, still frantically trying to get to you.

You were a fresh water shark. You couldn’t breathe in salt water. It was like drowning for a human. You continued on screaming until you finally crashed into the large waves.

Your eyes went wide and you tried holding your breath, tears flowing out of your eyes and into the ocean in panic. Grian was no where to be seen, probably waiting for you to float to the top. You were to large.

You frantically tried to swim up, but to no avail. It just made you loose more breath and loose energy. You knew that if you breathed in that water, your gills would clog up and you’d suffocate. You’d die. However, there was no stopping it. Your lungs burst and you finally swallowed the water. Your eyes closed and everything went black.

You sat up and spat out water in your lungs, finding yourself on the beach. You spat out some seaweed and dragged yourself away from the salt water in fear. Your gills stung from the salt that you consumed and your fins were damaged from touching the water itself.

You already recognised yourself to be on the far east side of the island where all the empires were, there was docks nearby built by Joey. You must be near his kingdom.

You struggled to stand up, your limbs being weak from whatever happened while you were unconscious. How long had it been since you last walked on them? It couldn’t be more than a few hours because you would’ve died by that much salt water by then. So maybe two hours, according to the shape your body was in. You slowly limped your way over to the small dock area. You saw Sausages home, just across a lake connected to the ocean, so you sadly couldn’t leave.

“Anybody here?!” You called, trying to check if Joey was anywhere around. You got now sneer and immediately frowned. You sat back down where you were, on one of the docks. Maybe he’d come back. Or Grian would come looking for you.

It felt like hours of sitting in the heat that you finally saw something at least a little interesting. You felt your smooth shark skin getting burnt the more you sat there, but there was no shady areas that was open.

Moving back to the interesting thing you saw, is that there was numerous birds flying in the sky together. You rarely see any parrots flying together, let alone how high those ones were flying.

You shrugged it off and closed your eyes again, but you were startled by numerous loud thumbing on the dock. “Did those birds seriously come over here to mock m—“ You we’re cut off by being entrapped in a large hug. You felt violated and lie you were being strangled for a moment but softened a little when you realised it was no bird, but Grian, Lizzie, Joel and Jimmy.

“Y/n! There you are!” Grian said worriedly. “I’m sososo sorry. You fell into the ocean and I couldn’t see you anywhere— I got the whole server to try and look for you. Thank the lord.” He said.

Joel then brought up chat and typed in that they found us at Joeys base. (Joey replied with ‘they better of not stolen any of my stuff!’)

“Here, let’s take you home. I’ll treat your wounds.” He frowned. “Since it’s my fault anyway.”

You nodded hazily, still confused on what was happening. “Can we go by boat?”

“Yeah, of course! You guys can go now, thanks a lot. I’m sorry for making you all help me find them. I just felt at fault.” Grian said quickly. They took no time to all leave and get back to their busy lives which I was fine with.

“I’m so sorry for dropping you.” Grian mumbled, placing down a boat and hopping in, followed by you. “It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have suggested going flying with you. It was dangerous enough with both our weight but I should’ve also comprehended other fliers.”

“Grian.”

“You’d be fine if I hadn’t have ever come. Maybe I shouldn’t have even met you.”

“Grian.”

“This is all my fucking fault…”

“GRIAN!! It’s okay! I forgive you! It’s not your fault.”

He went silent as he pulled up to some land. It was a short walk from there to your lake. He helped you out and destroyed the boat before you begun your silent journey home.

Once getting there, he sat you on a table and began healing any wounds you hadn’t noticed. He gave you a healing potion which helped your gills heal and find, however you still had scratched on your legs he bandages up with seaweed for you.

“Thank you, Grian.”

“It’s the least I could’ve done.” He shrugged. “First aid isn’t my specialty.”

“No. I mean for everything. It was beautiful. Thank you.”

He paused, looking at you with wide eyes before taking you in a hug.

“Thank you..” He whispered back.

Anddd that’s it! I hope you enjoyed, and I’ll be taking requests now about fnaf, ninjago and mcyt!

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Hi there! How are you? I hope your doing well! I wanted to send in a request if that’s alright with you, if your requests are closed feel free to ignore this—! Anyways, your writing is also really good as well ^-^ Also quick question but do you take matchups by chance? Anyways, 시작하자!

Could I request Alastor and Vox (together or separately if you like) with a Male! Or GN! Reader who’s was a really famous rapper back on earth but sadly died because they were shot outside after finishing a concert? also the reader raps about true stuff like king von did.

Thank you and have a great day! さよ���なら！

A/N: Hii! Thank you so much for requesting this & I’m so glad you like my work (i was in a writing slump & was afraid i fell off)!! As of right now I’m not currently doing match ups, but possibly in the future I might! As someone who doesn’t listen to rap all that often this was a bit of a challenge, but we got this 😝

(Inspired by several artists)

Warnings: Headcannon format, headcannoned male reader but can be read as GN, SFW all the way, mentions of shootings, mentions of smut but not in detail,

Songs you can listen too while reading: The World is Yours by Nas. Hail Mary by Tupac. Crazy Story 2.0 by King Von.

Navigation!! // Masterlist!!!

Vox is actually a fan of yours, that’s kind of how you two met

Valentino had been trying to get in contact with a girl on your security team, so he decided to take Vox to a show of yours, the show had just ended and you had been getting asked questions about your life and cameras were everywhere

Now, vox controls the media, television at least, so he decides what makes if on air and what doesn’t and this is how you two talk

you ask him to make a deal with you, nothing negative about your human life gets out into the media and when he asks you to clarify, you tell him

to say he was a bit more than shocked is an understatement

he was TOTALLY shocked to his core and in all honesty he felt bad

so he decides to help your friendship is short and sweet towards the beginning,

your team handling most of the contact the two of you shared so it was usually business talk

untilll he’s invited with valentino to go to a party of yours where the two of you get wasted and end up sleeping together

he’s embarrassed, not of you but of his emotions, is this even right?? did you care at all??

WELLLL turns out you did because the next day when he woke up still at your house you calmly told him of your feelings, and that despite only speaking about business you felt like you two could become more

he almost sheds a tear poor guy is SO OVERJOYED HE WASNT THE ONLY ONE, and from there you two develop a relationship 🫶

your biggest supporter, he is always at concerts and interviews with you to make sure everything goes smoothly ,

he’ll even talk to Velvet to make sure your socials are covered and no one posts anything online about you

want a day to yourself? paparazzi just got a report you’ll be somewhere you totally weren’t thanks to velvet

a crazy fan lied about you? valentino is already on it

you literally never have to worry with Vox around

trust whoever killed you while you were alive WILL be dealt with

Now, Alastor is a tricky man meaning

he hates anything that isnt Jazz or from his time

so he definitely didn’t like you at first

like he wouldn’t even care to listen to music let alone YOURS he’d just walk away or hum something to himself

Charlie is the one that actually gets him to listen, and she explains that your different from other artists, uniquely you

so he caves and decides to sit and give it a listen

ten seconds in and he’s stopping the music getting up and walking away claiming he still doesn’t like it but again,

Charlie is charlie and REFUSES to stop so she makes him restart the song and listen yet again

by the end of it he still doesn’t particularly like the music you make, and a part of him actually hurts your feelings

“Why share your issues to the world? Sharing that side of you makes you weak. Horrible taste!”

Cue Vaggie rolling her eyes and Husk just scoffing because what is this dude yapping about?

Doesn’t help this all happened before you left for a show so your nervous the entire time

Charlie gets upset and scolds him, telling him it’s wrong to say that and it is in fact your music so you can do what you want and he agrees, it is your music, but he’s not gonna listen to it

he’s definitely more personality based out of the two, he does think your a nice person, and after hearing you got shot he almost chokes, it triggers his memory

you catch him sitting in the library of the hotel reading and try talking to him

the conversation is light before you somehow land on the topic of your death and when you learn Alastor too was shot you feel a bit more connected to him

surprisingly enough alastor is the one to approach you about a potential relationship and you’re like extremely excited because how often is it the radio demon asks to date you?!?!?!

he does start going to your shows more often after you two begin seeing each other, and though he isn’t entirely too crazy about it, he goes to support you <3

[nin-jay-go]

for morrotober i posted a pirate au thing, and like 2 ppl were interested in it, but then i didn't think about it for a while KJSHFKJKJH but uhhh yea i have a full fledged treasure planet au because i can't keep away from funky alien stuff

here's the crew! minus wu bc he didn't fit into the scene but he's here in spirit lol (he's the captain) he can be taking the photo

brief synopsis before i go ramble under the cut: kai, cole, jay, and zane all met when they stole the golden tech-weapons from a museum, then when the weapons called them all to each other again, they formed a crew to take down garmadon and then just do general space pirate stuff. they're only considered pirates bc they do slightly illegal stuff in the name of good, but everyone hails them as heroes (except the actually bad pirate crews they dismantle)

anywayz feel free to send in asks because OH MY GOD IVE PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO WORLDBUILDING

vwoop here i go

kai, nya, and cole are humans. well, cole was human but i'll get to him later. this is a universe where humans are space orcs, so they're referred to as deathworlders more often than not. jay's an alien, raised on earth, and lloyd is half alien, raised on a moon colony. zane and pixal are automatons, though built on different planets, so their technology is a bit different. wu is fully alien and the same species lloyd is.

speaking of which, wu and lloyd are the captains. wu is the actual captain, and lloyd is the captain that they show off. he has a cool mech suit that hides the fact that he's a child (bc i didn't age him up). they're a species known as dragoni, ancient beings of creation and destruction that have witnessed the birth of the universe. wu hides his status as a dragoni from the public, and lloyd hasn't quite learned how to shapeshift his dragoni traits away.

nya's the first mate because she makes good decisions and also has a mech suit, and she's absolutely terrifying. people are right to fear her, and most of the time are more afraid of her than they are of the actual captain.

kai's the fighter and crew big brother. he's always the one to make sure everyone's safe and accounted for, and he's the one that takes the longest watches (other than the automatons and cole). he's also, alongside wu, in charge of finances, and can handle weapons in a pinch. he kinda does anything he wants on the ship tbh

zane's the cook and sniper. he likes ranged weapons and is pretty adept with guns, so he likes hanging out in the crow's nest to keep an eye out for things. he's also the only one who can cook, so they trust him to make good food.

jay's the engineer and shipwright. he's a species known as a lectrite, which have an innate sense for when lightnign's about to hit. he also can tell when storms are coming, so he helps pixal with navigation if they see a storm on the horizon.

cole's the muscle and helmsman. he's an infected ghost (because the ghost species pass on the "curse" through infection), used to be human, and the strongest member of the crew. he doesn't really need his legs anymore, so all his strength is in his arms now.

pixal is the navigator and other helmsman, when cole isn't available. she's also one of the best fighters on board, and is unafraid to kick ass. she might as well be the second mate at this point, because she kicks just. so much ass. she's so cool. she also assists with shipwrighting stuff with jay.

[cobalt-knave]

For those who doubted the number of NPCs named Justin, here are four of them. Clerk Justin, Justin in security, Host Justin aka Beefy Justin, and Justin with a knife.

Transcript is very long, so it's under the cut!

(ep 19)

Justin: And you see a… sign that says, “Check in … here.”

Travis: Oh, okay?

Justin: Yeah. [chuckles]

Griffin: Seems this is the place to be, man.

Travis: We go there.

Justin: Okay, you go in and there’s a person sitting behind the counter. He’s about 5’7’’, he’s wearing—

Griffin: [laughs]

Justin: [chuckles] He’s wearing a T-shirt and jeans.

Beef: Hail and well met!

Justin (clerk): Hey.

Beef: All right.

Justin (clerk): My name’s Justin, welcome.

Beef: Woah?

Griffin: You’re not 5’7’’, are you?

Justin: No, the character in the— what are you talking— no, this— the character in the game is 5’7’’.

Montrose: We’re staying in cabin 37, may we please have our medallions as quickly as is possible?

Justin (clerk): Oh, yeah, sure.

Justin: He reaches into a drawer without even looking and pulls out three medallions

Justin (clerk): Here you go, you’re in cabin 37.

Justin (clerk): There’s probably just a bed in there. [chuckles]

Montrose: Just one?

Justin (clerk): Three.

Emerich: Oh, thank God.

Justin (clerk): Yeah.

Beef: Okay.

Montrose: I thought we were about to have ourselves a little Kevin McCallister, a little… a little party in there.

Justin (clerk): There— yeah, there’s three.

Beef: Could we… could we request some extra pillows?

Justin (clerk): Yeah, sure, you can request that.

Beef: Will we get ‘em?

Justin (clerk): Nope.

Justin (clerk): Yeah, I just sit here. It’s very boring and doesn't seem to be important. I just kind of sit here and wait for people to come, like yourself. And then hand them the medallion for their room, and then… just kind of cease to…

Montrose: Oh, well, sir—

Beef: Can I have—

Montrose: You must have more of a higher aspiration—

Justin: I mean, I have other stuff I’d like to do. But I—

Montrose: Oh, like what?

Beef: Like what?

Justin: Well, I like to do podcasting, actually.

Beef: Really, podcasting?

Justin: Yeah, I’d like to get into podcasting. But I’m not great with voices, and I’m worried that it’ll be—[chuckles]

Montrose: Hey, that said it was cool for you to give us your keycard.

Justin (clerk): [chuckles] Who’s they?

Montrose: The, you know, higher ups here at Ephemera.

Beef: Shroog.

Justin (clerk): The thing— the only things that I’ve ever done in my life are get medallions out of this drawer and hand ‘em to people, that’s it.

Montrose: Well then, you should be pretty well equipped to hand over the medallion that you have on your neck right now.

Justin (clerk): I don’t have a medallion. They don’t let me go into any of the rooms. This door in front of me, the one that you just walked in, it’s always unlocked. I’m a fucking sitting duck here. But—

Beef: Hey, it sounds like you hate your job? Have you ever been—

Justin (clerk): I don’t hate my job, I don’t love my job. I nothing my job. I don’t have anything interesting to say or do about my job.

Beef: You are fascinating! We’re gonna come back and talk to you. I can’t get enough of this.

Emerich: I don’t know what you’re gonna talk about in your podcast. What will you talk about in your podcast?

Justin (clerk): People that stay too long in here when there’s nothing for them to do or see!

Beef: Oh yeah, I hate that, man! I hate when people do that.

Montrose: I just, I—

Beef: I’d listen. I’d listen to your podcast.

Montrose: I’m updating my speed dial on my phone, and my emergency contact at the hospital, to Justin and Shroog.

Justin (clerk): I can’t leave! I can’t leave this room, I’ve never left.

Montrose: The door’s unlocked.

Justin (clerk): [chuckles] I’ve never left this room.

Montrose: The door is unlocked, though.

Justin (clerk): I was born in this room, I’m terrified to leave.

Beef: Oh, come with us!

Justin (clerk): No.

Montrose: Come with us? We’re having a—

Justin (clerk): [laughs] I’ll never leave! I’ll never leave this room.

Travis: Justin, I pick up Justin and I carry him out the door with us.

Justin: [chuckles] The second you touch Justin—

Montrose: [chants] Justin, Justin, Justin!

Justin: [laughs] The second you touch Justin, you’re electrocuted, for level one harm.

Travis: And I punch Justin.

Justin: Okay?

Griffin: Yeah, let’s kick his ass!

Justin: Okay, you take a swing at Justin. And you’re… he—[chuckles] Your fist lands squarely against his jaw and he is knocked out. It is a beautiful punch. But it isn’t until this exact moment that you see the camera directly behind Justin that starts— [Griffin giggles] And you noticed it’s turned directly at you. And you start to hear the phone on Justin’s desk ringing.

Travis: I pick it up.

Montrose: Real quick, Weekend at Bernie's. We’ve practiced for this. We have practiced this!

Griffin: I put an arm under Justin’s armpit.

Justin in Security: Hi, this is Justin in security. Is everything okay over there? ‘Cause it looked like Justin got punched out or something—

Beef: No, he wanted to learn about stage combat, and I was showing him how to do a punch. He’s here, though. Say hi, Justin!

Clint: I’ll wave his arm. I got a hold of his arm and I wave it from behind him.

(ep 22)

Justin: Dad, here’s what I want for you to do. I want you to roll a sway. And this sway roll is going to be convincing this unnamed gentleman… who I’m going to call…

Travis: Oh, I can't wait.

Griffin: This is gonna be good!

Travis: Brace your asses, everybody!

Justin: Justin.

Travis: Nice.

Griffin: God damn it.

Justin: And—[chuckles] I want you to try to convince Justin for the tier of work that you are ready for.

Justin (Host): What do you— hey, I know you’ve been out of the game for a while.

Emerich: Yes?

Justin (Host): Where are you at right now, skills wise, Emerich?

Emerich: I am really at the top of my game.

Justin (Host): Wow. Wow. Huge stuff, huge stuff. We can all agree, right? Huge stuff.

Griffin: [in silly voice] “Huge stuff, boss!”

Emerich: And if I’m able to sway you, I will demonstrate this projection to you, so you can see.

Justin (Host): You know, it’s so rare people just openly say that they’re attempting to sway you. I appreciate your forthrightness.

Emerich: Well…

Justin: Wow.

Clint: Whoo!

Justin: Great job, dad. Great job.

Clint: Now wait, is that Justin or Justin telling me great job?

Travis: Woah…

Justin: That was Justin.

Griffin: Yeah, this guy’s not your dad in game.

Justin (Host): Hey, you did a great job.

Emerich: Thank you, son.

Justin (Host): I’m really proud of you.

Travis: Now, that was Justin.

Griffin: [chuckles]

Justin: That was Justin.

Travis: Okay.

Justin: [chuckles]

Justin (Host): Okay…

Emerich: Well, Scott, I would like you to meet Justin, who is not my son.

Travis: It’s weird, people don’t often clarify that as much as they should.

Griffin: Yeah, I appreciate it.

Travis: When I’m introduced to people all the time, I’m not told whether or not they’re their son.

Griffin: Yeah.

Scott: Hey, I’m Scott Boldflex, and I’m just realizing I only have one voice for real guys-guys.

Griffin: [chuckles]

Scott: You know, it’s just this one. One voice for guys-guys. Guys that are more guys than me. And I just have this one voice for guys. You know, guys—

Clint: And I recall Scott. I recall Scott into the Give a Ghost Projector.

Justin: Thank fuck. [chuckles]

Justin (Host): That is really impressive!

Clint: No, I said I recalled Scott.

Justin: [chuckles] Fuck off, Dad.

Griffin: [laughs]

Justin: Eat shit forever. [chuckles]

(ep 30)

Justin: The doors open. And you hear the speakers come on again.

Funnyman: And now it’s time for you to [laughs]

Montrose: Go ahead, Funnyman. No, don’t crack yourself up.

Funnyman: And now it’s time for you to face my – one of my most devious, most devious henchmen. Get ready [laughs] Get ready to meet a middle aged man with a paring knife!

Knife Justin: Oh hey. Oh hey, guys.

Beef: Hey, man.

Knife Justin: Welcome to my floor. I guess.

Beef: Are you evil?

Knife Justin: Um. I mean, nobody thinks they are, right?

Beef: Oh wow.

Knife Justin: But I mean I am working [sound] I am working for Funnyman. I guess he’s not the – the best guy, but I mean—

Beef: Well, in this economy…

Knife Justin: If you follow the ladder far enough. I mean, even if you buy fucking salad dressing, Black Rock owns it. You know?

Beef: Yeah.

Knife Justin: So if you follow the chain, it hard to say are any of us evil or good, but I mean, I don’t know. I do have a paring knife, and he told me to try to – I mean, stab you.

Knife Justin: Well, I’m not gonna put the knife down. I mean, that’s—

Beef: Ok try to stab me. Try to stab me.

Knife Justin: You sure?

Beef: Yeah.

Justin: Alright, Travis. You see him. He’s gonna go Norman Bates, like, he rears back with his hand over. He’s gonna go—

Montrose: No, no, that’s – That ain’t. That’s not proper stabbing.

[overlapping voices]

Beef: No, no, no, no. Do underhand. You’re going for the gut, man, what are you doing?

Knife Justin: Oh, ok.

Emerich: This is a paring knife!

Knife Justin: I’ve never actually…

Emerich: You know—

Beef: Yeah, don’t go for like –

Knife Justin: So you go for the— Go for the gut?

Beef: What are you – stabbing me in the top of the head? Yeah, man, you’re trying to chu-chu-choo, ya know?

Emerich: Are you left handed or right handed?

Knife Justin: I’m left – I’m a lefty. Should I be using my dominant—

Montrose: You’re holding it in your right hand. What are you doing?

Emerich: Yeah, it’s in your right hand.

Knife Justin: You guys are being so cool about this. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

Beef: We wanna give you a chance.

Travis: I slap him again.

Knife Justin: AH FUCK!

Justin: So, he, uh [laughs] I don’t even think you have to roll for this, Travis. He just – He goes to stab you, and he does! And he stabs you in the stomach. And you can see his eyes, like, pop out, and the knife’s like buried in you, and you don’t seem to be daunted by it at all. And he pulls the knife out. And he’s kinda looking at you to see if you’re gonna do anything.

Beef: Ok, so now’s the part where I get to, like, either seriously hurt you, or can just, like, give me the knife.

Knife Justin: Oh! Uh, yeah. I mean, here. You can have it. I’m—This is what he told – I only had to stab you guys, so…

Beef: Ok. Now [overlapping]

Montrose: And how did that feel?

Beef: Good question!

Knife Justin: Can I, Can I be honest? I think I’m gonna go to, like, a night school or community college or something. I don’t think career wise this is for me.

Montrose: What’s your name there, bono?

Knife Justin: What?

Montrose: What’s your name?

Knife Justin: Justin.

[cryoculus]

— people pleaser ⟢

pairing: thoma x ex-assassin!reader

summary: it’s been three weeks since you left for yashiori island, and saying that thoma was stoked to have you back was an understatement. but as the days passed, he noticed something quite...distressing.

word count: 5.7k words

notable characters: thoma, kamisato ayaka, kamisato ayato, gorou, yae miko

tags: jealousy, misunderstandings, light angst, suggestive themes

notes: this is a guard dog side story that was written for thoma's birthday back in january 2022!

masterlist

“Miss Kira!”

Naturally, Thoma was the first to greet you by the gates once you and Ayato finally made it back. He took it upon himself to take the bag you brought off your hands, beaming at you like a puppy who just met its owner after being gone all day. Well, in hindsight, that’s not too far-off an analogy.

You shot him a tired smile, lacing your arms around his neck to peck him on the cheek. “Hey, pretty boy. Did you miss me?”

“You bet,” he replied with a chuckle before pulling away to turn to Ayato. “I’m glad to see you’re well, too, my lord. Any progress with the investigation?”

The Yashiro Commissioner heaved a long-winded sigh, handing his own luggage to the other guards. “Barely. Locating the wards was quite tricky. We had Doctor Shinya with us, too. He’s a learned gentleman from the Sumeru Academia, so if he can’t locate them even with the guidance of our Yashiori native, Miss Kira, then it’s best if we went back to the drawing board.”

Thoma nodded in understanding. “I see. No wonder you got back so early. But is it really alright to leave the Tatarigami unattended?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” you insisted, patting him on the shoulder. “‘Yato over here made good on the diplomatic interventions you and milady have been overseeing in his stead. He talked some former resistance soldiers into keeping an eye out for the situation. So it’s all good.”

…Alright, Thoma was more than glad to hear that Ayaka’s efforts to restore Narukami’s relationship with the Sangonomiya faction have borne fruit. But did you just call the head of the Kamisato House ‘Yato?

Ayato didn’t seem fazed by this, though—chuckling as you all headed inside. “It’s as the lady says. Sangonomiya Kokomi has agreed to cooperate with the ongoing investigation, since the Tatarigami also poses a threat to the safety of her own citizens.”

You snorted. “We nearly got kicked out of Sangonomiya Shrine when you criticized the way they prepared their sashimi, though. I know you’re a big shot and all, but you should seriously keep things to yourself sometimes.”

“I did no such thing. I simply suggested that it would be better if they served them fresh!”

“That’s not how the shrine maidens saw it…”

Thoma was no stranger to conversations that had nothing to do with him, and thus couldn’t relate to. It’s a staple for a chief retainer to stand on the sidelines and simply let his charge do all the talking. But the…familiar way in which you addressed Ayato was something entirely new to him. He didn’t think you’d ever spoken to someone else in the estate (someone that wasn’t Thoma, at least) in the same, animated manner you conversed with the Commissioner. Despite being officially hailed as a retainer of the house, you still had your reservations for the people that got close to you.

He used to pride himself for being one of the select few you’d fully put your faith in, but…

“Now that you mentioned it, I did come off as too forward for someone that’s already asking for a favor,” Ayato sighed. “This is why I let Ayaka handle all the formalities instead. Let’s send them an…apology package, shall we?”

“Sure. I’ll help you pick some stuff out in the city after I get a good night’s sleep,” you said. “Gods know it wasn’t exactly comfortable sharing a tent with you of all people.”

The moment the words left your lips, Thoma felt his brain short-circuit and jumpstart back into motion right after. You and Ayato shared a tent. For three weeks. His girlfriend slept in the same, close proximity as his lord. And they were acting completely casual about it!

This is probably just nothing, he assured himself—albeit poorly. Right…?

Thoma took all of that in stride. Of course he did. He’s Thoma—the level-headed, even-tempered housekeeper of the Kamisato House! It’s in his job description to take things in stride. So when he decided to tail you and Ayato to your impromptu shopping trip to Inazuma City the next day, his actions didn’t bear any ill will at all!   

He was as discreet as a Mondstadter could be smack in the middle of Inazuma. Making himself scarce was something that Thoma has had trouble with for the longest time. Everything about him screamed outlander no matter how much he tried to dress himself up as a local. But you and Ayato didn’t seem privy to his advances—sampling dishes from Kiminami Restaurant without a care in the world. 

You weren’t really up to anything suspicious so far. But the fact that Ayato insisted that you two go out without any guards was already worth looking into. It didn’t help that you hadn’t spoken a word about this before heading to bed either. 

To Thoma’s relief, you still opted to sleep in his room last night like you always did before. The feel of you snuggling against his body underneath the sheets was a feeling he missed so much, he could almost cry. So even if he wanted to break the ice by asking how you and Ayato had suddenly grown closer, the chief retainer couldn’t stand the idea of ruining the cozy atmosphere that he hasn’t felt in weeks. Besides, he might just be reading into it too much. Thoma does that a lot these days. 

“Hm? Thoma? Is that you?”

He nearly jumped out of the bush he was hiding in at the sound of another voice, hiding the binoculars (that he definitely didn’t steal from your drawer) from view. However, when Thoma saw who exactly caught him stalking you from such a high vantage point like a psychopath, he could only crane his head in confusion.

“General Gorou?” he half-asked, half-greeted. “What brings you here?”

“Um,” he began awkwardly, ears perking up. “This is my hiding spot, too, so…”

Thoma didn’t even know where to begin asking about the general’s predicament, but he decided not to press the matter. This wasn’t the first time he’s spoken to Gorou—given the peace talks he was mandated to attend by Ayaka’s side. But this was definitely the first he’s seen him loitering around the city.

“Who are you…?” Gorou squinted from the cliff’s edge where Thoma decided to conduct his stakeout, following it up with a quick— “Oh.”

“...Don’t tell me you see them from all the way up here.”

“Don’t tell me you’re performing an espionage mission on your own charge!”

Oh, right. Of course Gorou would focus on Ayato; not you. 

“I’m not,” he explained. “I’m just…”

For a moment, Thoma considered unloading the troubles he’s been harboring since yesterday onto this not-so stranger. Gorou wasn’t someone who he saw on the regular, so surely it wouldn’t hurt to confide his girl-problems in the guy? Besides, from his contributions to the peace talks alone, Thoma could tell he was someone who gave top-tier advice. 

But before he could even speak a word, Gorou suddenly froze up—body reflexively easing into a defensive stance. “Tch… My apologies, but I’ll have to make an abrupt leave or else she’ll catch me.”

“...She?”

The general immediately bolted away from the shrubs, scampering back to the streets of Inazuma City and leaving Thoma more clueless than he was to begin with. 

When Thoma glanced back at Kiminami Restaurant through the binoculars, he realized that you and Ayato had already left in the midst of his chance meeting with Gorou. Great. Now he had no one to stake out for. 

“You there.”

Thoma jolted in surprise once again—immediately assuming that an officer from the Tenryou Commission was probably going to scold him for going over the fences. But when he whirled around, it wasn’t a bulky soldier that greeted his sight, but rather a familiar shrine maiden with a cunning air to her.

“Have you seen a little fox boy running around?” Yae Miko asked with a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “We have a deadline coming up soon, and he just keeps slipping right underneath my nose. What a pain, that one.”

“Uhh…” Something told him Gorou was going to be very happy if Thoma did him a solid right here, right now. “Nope. I’m sorry to disappoint you, Lady Guuji.”

She sighed, crossing her arms with a resigned look. “Well, frankly, I can’t be bothered to chase after him now. How about you entertain me instead, Kamisato retainer?”

It took him a moment to realize that Yae Miko actually remembered who he was, and Thoma swallowed the lump in his throat before hopping back over the fence—leaving the binoculars hidden in the shrubs to retrieve later.

“How may I be of service?” he asked nervously.

Yae Miko gave him a single look that was enough to make any lesser man cower. It’s a good thing he regularly accompanied Ayaka to her meetings with the priestess at the shrine. Else, Thoma might’ve grovelled at her feet from the pressure of her gaze alone.

“Give me your palm, would you?” she requested softly. 

Thoma blinked. “Pardon?”

“Your palm, boy. I’d like to read it.”

He still didn’t fully understand what she was trying to make him do, but Thoma unfastened the harnesses on his right glove—flexing his fingers a bit before extending it to Yae Miko. The priestess took his hand in her much softer ones, and while the other men from the Yashiro Commission preferred women who were soft to the touch, he’d developed a fondness for your calloused palms. The same hands that he held in his own during colder nights or a simple stroll around Ritou. The same hands he wouldn’t mind holding for the rest of his life.

Wait. Why was he thinking about you when—

“You’re a fire elemental,” Yae Miko murmured, tracing the lines on his palm firmly. “That explains the Pyro Vision, yes. Hmm… Good vitality, strong mental constitution, relatively stable, and… Oh?”

Thoma felt his stomach drop. He did not like the sound of that.

“I-Is anything wrong, Lady Guuji?” he asked dryly.

The priestess continued running her finger along his palms, as if tracing a poem out of his skin. She had a hint of a smile playing on her lips, but Thoma knew better than to deduce a kitsune’s intentions from their facial expressions alone. 

“Your other lines are in order, but your heart line… Quite shallow,” Yae Miko sighed, shaking her head. “This means you’re more sensitive and vulnerable than the rest. For someone who’s stood by Kamisato Ayaka’s side all this time, this is quite the surprise. You’ve always come off as a level-headed person to me, but I suppose living here as an outlander makes your heart waver every so often. Am I right?”

…How on earth did she find all that out just by reading his palms?

“From the look on your face, I can tell that you’re going through something unpleasant as well,” she continued, letting go of his hand with a stern look. “I don’t know the specifics but it would be good to actually speak to the person or people involved. There’s no point in punishing yourself with uncertainty when their reassurance is readily attainable. Isn’t that right, Kamisato retainer?”

Now he knew why some of the shrine maidens at the estate spoke of Yae Miko with a hint of fear in their words. She was way too perceptive!

“It’s an honor to receive direct counsel from you, Lady Guuji,” Thoma said with a small bow. “Thank you very much. I’ll make sure to reflect on it.”

“Oh, reflection alone won’t get you anywhere, sweet boy,” she chuckled behind her hand. “Rather, you should act on it. Playing the people pleaser can only last you for so long in a place like this. I’m sure you know that well—being an outlander and all.”

That hit a little too close to home, but Thoma didn’t make it evident on his face. “I understand. Thank you again.”

That day, Thoma decided against searching the city for yours and Ayato’s whereabouts. Instead, he went straight home and leveled the hedges faster than the time it would take for three people to do the job. Yae Miko’s words repeated themselves like a mantra in his head, and all he could do to cope was keep himself busy.

Playing the people pleaser can only last you so long in a place like this.

You and the Commissioner didn’t return until nightfall, and Thoma didn’t voice out a single complaint—receiving you and his charge with bright smiles and a warm welcome as usual. During dinner, though, he felt Ayaka’s gaze trailing after him every now and again. That was a telltale sign that the princess was catching on to whatever was bothering him, but Thoma had a tad too much pride to let her in on the situation.

After all, this was probably just nothing.

Right?

Things didn’t exactly get better in the next few days like he’d hoped.

You’ve been quite elusive as of late. You hadn’t slept in his room since the night you first came back, and while Thoma usually didn’t mind your independence, his…current predicament made going about this in a completely logical manner quite difficult. Your outings with Ayato have become more and more frequent than what he was accustomed to. The Commissioner had a penchant for holing himself in his room for days, and now he took public matters into his own hands?  

Another thing that startled him was the fact that you’re oh-so willing to tend to Ayato’s requests! Back then, you used to bemoan the workload and talked Thoma’s ear off about how much you wanted to quit despite the Kamisato clan’s good graces. Of course, you didn’t mean a single word. Both of you knew how attached you’ve gotten to this family, and peeling yourself away was more work than you’d otherwise expect.

But now, even when you weren’t busy, Thoma would catch you going up to Ayato’s study to do Archons-know-what. He wasn’t so terrible a person that he’d jump to conclusions about his lord doing unsightly things with his lover, but…

“Thoma.”

He sighed, casting a sidelong glance across the hall. “Yes, milady?”

Ayaka had that look on her face—the one that spelled you owe me an explanation for this—and Thoma wondered why he thought he could ever escape her scrutiny. This was Ayaka after all.

Wordlessly, he led her to the pavilion, where the fresh breeze wafted through the courtyard. They sat on the edge of the platform like they always did, since they were children. And as Thoma gazed out into the ocean below, Ayaka patiently waited for him to speak.

“Milady, what would you do if you thought your lover was…losing interest in you?” 

It’s not like Thoma never considered the possibility—in fact, he has. Multiple times. You used to be one of the underground’s renown assassins. Even if you’ve successfully adapted to your life as a retainer in such a short time, Thoma knew very well that you were still a lone wolf by heart. It wouldn’t come as a surprise to him if, one day, you decided that you didn’t need the Yashiro Commission—didn’t need him—anymore, and fled into the night. He didn’t like it when it felt like you were slipping out of his grasp. You already did once, and he feared that it was bound to happen again.

This definitely wasn’t a thought that occurred to Thoma on a daily basis. But whenever he did consider the idea of you leaving him behind…

Ayaka’s eyes widened slightly at his inquiry, and Thoma could almost hear the thought process occurring in that head of hers. What do you mean? Did you and Miss Kira have a fight? Is there anything I can do?

However, the reaction that he actually got was…far from what he imagined.

Ayaka pressed her lips together in an attempt to suppress a snort, startling when such an unbecoming noise came out of her before pressing a palm across her mouth. Thoma didn’t know whether he should be offended that she was laughing at his predicament or relieved because the Shirasagi Himegimi was finally letting herself express an extensive spectrum of emotions. Either way, Ayaka was quick to recover from that quick slip-up.

“And here I thought you might’ve been coming down with something,” she sighed, clearing her throat as she composed herself. “Thoma, what gave you the idea that Miss Kira was losing interest?”

“...You’re going to think I’m ridiculous.”

“I’m sure your reasons aren’t any more ridiculous than the list of complaints we receive from the citizens on the regular,” Ayaka reassured. “Now, go on. You’ve always heard me out when I have things I can’t get off my mind. It’s only proper for me to lend you an ear as well.”

Thoma closed his eyes. Yup. There was no escaping Kamisato Ayaka’s scrutiny. 

So, he told her. About how he noticed you and her brother have grown exponentially familiar with each other ever since your trip to Yashiori Island. How you’ve been avoiding him(?) as of late. He’s not very sure about that last one, since you still respond whenever Thoma calls out to you, but it’s as if you had more impending matters to attend to than paying attention to him. If he’d been any less understanding than he was, he would’ve sulked.

Ayaka listened to every word carefully, nodding every so often. And once Thoma was finished speaking, she breathed in deeply.

“I see. So that’s how things appeared on your end,” the princess lamented. “I’ll be the one to apologize on their behalf. Those two… You’re right about the fact that they have grown closer since Yashiori. But there's absolutely no reason for you to fret, Thoma.”

Thoma shot her a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“What I’m saying is, Brother and Miss Kira are two people who, when they put their backs into planning something, give it their all so it would be a success.” Ayaka grinned. “That kind of explains why she’s been hard to come by lately. Although, you should be seeing the fruit of their labor very soon.”

“...That doesn’t make you sound cryptic at all, milady.”

She giggled behind the guise of her fan, and Thoma ultimately resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to get any answers out of her anytime soon. 

“You’ll see~”

He hardly got a wink of sleep that night.

Thoma tossed and turned alone in his bed—wondering what in the seven nations you and Ayato had been cooking up to warrant this much of your time. Could it be pertaining to your investigations on Yashiori Island? Was it some sort of new and improved cure for the Tatarigami? He hadn’t the slightest clue, and he wasn’t getting anywhere near a logical explanation come morning either.

To his disappointment, Madarame had to get him out of bed because he’d overslept. This was something unusual for Thoma to experience because his circadian rhythm was as impeccable as Ayaka’s swordsmanship.  

(He humbly blames it on the lack of attention from his significant other.)

“Lord and Lady Kamisato have already gone out for the day,” Madarame explained as he and Thoma made their way to the courtyard. “But they did leave instructions for you to drop by Komore Teahouse once you’re able. It’s for an…urgent matter, so to speak.”

Thoma sighed. Great. Now there was another impending issue on his plate, when he hadn’t even sorted out his conflicted feelings about your recurring absence. Not that Madarame had to know about these tendencies of his. Nobody would believe it—the housekeeper of the Kamisato clan, craving the love and affection of his girlfriend like a kicked puppy.

“What of Miss Kira?” he asked, just in case. “Has she said anything?”

Madarame’s face scrunched up into an apologetic look. Thoma sighed.

“Thanks anyways,” he told him glumly. “I’ll head over to the city now. Hold down the fort while we’re gone, okay?”

“Of course.” Madarame bowed, but just as Thoma was about to turn on his heel to make his leave— “Oh, Master Thoma, one more thing.”

The chief glanced at the other man with one brow arched as he flashed him a sincere grin that only served to puzzle Thoma. “Yes?”

Then, earnestly, Madarame spoke: 

“Happy Birthday.”

Things just got more depressing, if that was even possible.

Thoma made the trip to the capital in several states of distress. He’d been so caught up in trying to wrap his head around yours and Ayato’s antics that he forgot today was his birthday. 

It didn’t help that it seemed he was the only one left in the dark. Ayato knew. You knew. Hell, even Ayaka knew what was going on. During last night’s bout of senseless overthinking, he considered ditching common courtesy and just straight up asking the princess all the things he wanted to know about. As strong-willed as she was, Ayaka was still quite meek. Thoma knew he could pressure some answers out of her given the right conditions, but he never once tried to do so in any other situation. Being a people pleaser, and all that. 

But now, he was at his limit. His lover obviously thought another man’s time was worth her while compared to Thoma’s. Even if Ayato loved and raised him like they were blood brothers, he couldn’t help the unshakeable feeling of resentment. Just one trip to Yashiori made them all smitten like that? When Thoma has been by your side far longer?

In the back of his head, an ominous voice reminded him that you and him only became more honest with your feelings after retrieving that cure from Yashiori all those months ago. 

Who knew Miss Kira was that easy? It hissed. She ditched you for Ayato on your birthday.

Shut up. Shut up, she’s not like that. 

Okay, having an internal argument with himself in broad daylight was all sorts of weird. But that extensive contemplation made Thoma fail to realize that he’d already arrived. 

Komore Teahouse has been the Yashiro Commission’s stronghold in the capital since time immemorial. Both Ayaka and Ayato preferred having business dealings in the discreet rooms of the shop rather than back at the estate. Not only was it carefully guarded by the Shuumatsuban, but it was more accessible compared to the manor in Mount Yougou.

The first thing Thoma noticed, however, was that nobody was stationed outside. Not Kozue, not Heihachi. Even that pesky Snezhnayan Ramsay was nowhere to be seen. 

All of a sudden, a chill ran across the length of his spine. The grisly that thought the Teahouse had been under siege crossed his mind as quick as lightning. Kozue would never leave her post for just any reason, so that was the most sound explanation he could think of. Hurriedly, the chief retainer slid the door to the shop open; hoping that this wasn’t where Ayaka and Ayato were headed for the day—

Pop!

Thoma could only stand by the doorway in stunned silence as a small blast of confetti hit him in the face. To his side, the Commissioner’s familiar face came to view—an unsuspecting party popper in his hands, before the rest of his company shouted:

“Happy Birthday!”

All around him, the familiar faces of friends, family, and comrades were present. Taroumaru was seated comfortably on his usual spot on the counter—holding up a sign that spelled Happy Birthday, Thoma! Ayaka was, surprisingly, in the company of none other than Yae Miko herself, a person he never thought he would see again so soon. She winked at him from behind the princess, as if telling him to keep a secret only they knew about. Yoimiya and Sayu have also joined the fray; with the former clapping her hands gleefully and the latter napping on top of the counter. 

And then there was you.

“Hey,” you greeted casually—holding a delectable-looking cake in your hands as Yoimiya took it upon herself to light the candles. “How’re you doing, guard dog?”

Thoma was at an utter loss for words. He gaped at you in silence, green eyes alight with surprise as he absentmindedly let you ease the cake into his hands.

“W-We’re both guard dogs,” he mumbled before promptly snapping out his trance. “Wait, what’s this? Don’t tell me…”

Ayaka chuckled from where she sat herself down in front of the counter. “Miss Kira and Brother have been putting together a surprise party for you, if that isn’t any more obvious than it already is.”

“We thought you’d appreciate the, ah, change in pace,” Ayato supplied, setting the party popper near the door as he crossed his arms. “You’ve been working so diligently these days, that you deserved as much.”

His lips quivered with the intent to speak, but no words were coming out. Thoma’s gaze darted around every person in the room, as if unable to get a grip on the reality before him—what the hell is Yae Miko doing here?!—until his emerald gaze landed on your form. 

You grinned. “What are you waiting for? The candles aren’t going to blow themselves y’know? Plus, we prepared an entire repertoire for your special day.”

The thought of you going out of your way just to prepare all this made a familiar warmth surge through his chest. Of course, he felt all the more guilty of thinking those nasty thoughts about what you were up to. But he supposed he could repent for that a bit later. The others looked on expectantly, and Thoma, who’d always been weak to the whims of others, heaved a sigh.

So he puckered his lips and blew out the candles.

“I am so sorry.”

Those were the first words that came out of his mouth once Thoma pulled you into another room in the Teahouse. You gawked at him, confused as your lover sank to his knees and bowed before you.

“You know, I’m not really into this sort of S&M play, right?” you told him as you sat in front of his repentant form on the tatami. “But do I want to ask what this is about?”

Thoma sat upright with a sigh, maintaining a certain distance given that he felt like he didn’t deserve to be near you at all after everything he just assumed… “I thought you didn’t want me anymore. You’ve been so busy with the Commissioner these past few days that I assumed—”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a sec,” you interjected, palms raised. “Are you saying you thought Ayato and I hit it off or something?”

“...Yes?”

If the small snort that Ayaka gave him yesterday was disrespectful, the reaction he gained from you was downright insolent. You laughed your heart out until you were a giggling mess on the floor, wiping the tears in your eyes at the prospect of Thoma getting jealous of Ayato over something that he completely had the wrong idea about. 

“Okay, for the record, ‘Yato and I are just tight as hell. Like bro-bros, y’know?” you explained, and Thoma didn’t really understand your verbiage. “He’s the one who dragged me back to fix things when shit hit the fan, so he’s kind of like my voice of reason for a lot of things now…”

“That includes how I’m going to handle...us.”

Now, that caught his attention. “Pardon?”

You sighed, pulling yourself upright before scooting a bit to lean your head on his shoulder. “I’ve never nurtured any sort of stable relationship in the past, y’know? Zero experience. I’m terrified of messing up somewhere so badly that you’ll leave me because of it. That’s why I asked for Ayato’s advice while we were in Yashiori.”

…Thoma had no idea that you carried such sentiments inside. He wanted to tell you that even if you slaughtered every person in this building right now, he would still love you. Though that’s stretching it a bit, it didn’t make it any less true.

He was so hopelessly in love with you. It was downright ridiculous! 

“He told me that one of the best ways to keep a relationship going is consistency,” you murmured, linking your hand with his. “I have to be consistent in letting you know how I feel. Always, without fail. I can’t just be a lone wolf forever, since I came to work at the estate on my own volition. It means I gotta be more open with you, too, yeah? That’s why I thought throwing you a birthday party was a good place to start.”

He couldn’t believe it. The woman he feared would leave him one day also harbored the same thoughts. That made him a hypocrite, now that he thought about it. Thoma had been so busy keeping the peace and making things easy for everyone in the present, that he hadn’t dedicated any time to addressing the future he’s bound to share with you.

He was yet to give you a proper reassurance. 

“I-It’s just—” You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “You’re just so amazing, you know that? Everyone trusts you, everyone looks up to you—even if you’re an outlander. I can barely talk to one of milady’s annoying socialite friends without saying something standoffish.” 

Thoma squeezed your hand with a fond smile. “And?”

“And I feel like, I— Ugh. You are so going to give me an earful for this, but… I still feel like I don’t deserve you.” 

The chief retainer exhaled loudly through his nose before pulling you closer to his chest. You visibly startled at the gesture, but followed his lead, no less.

“That’s something you can’t easily convince yourself of,” he acknowledged, remembering the times you told him about your childhood in Yashiori Island; about the years you spent as a wandering mercenary. “And I don’t blame you for it. But I hope that you’re willing to move forward to the next phase of your life, and not chain yourself to the sins you committed in the past. I’ll always be here, Miss Kira. Every step of the way.”

He felt your fingers tighten around his bicep and the sigh of relief that expelled from your chest. You turned around to face him with a teary look in your eyes. But just before he could panic and wipe them away—

“It’s been a while since you’ve called me by my real name,” you sulked, cupping his jaw in the curve of your palm. “That one’s reserved for you alone, remember? Don’t forget to use the privilege.”

Thoma let out an airy laugh, pressing his lips to yours in a firm kiss as he murmured the syllables of your name against your mouth. You sighed—hands moving to the back of his neck as you shifted on his lap. Both of you were well aware of the fact that the others were in the other room, playing a very interesting variation of mahjong that Ayato came up with, but you didn’t care. 

Your lover even let his tongue slip inside the cavern of your mouth, hands firmly planted on your hips as he—

“I was wondering where the celebrant was.”

Needless to say, the two of you sprang apart at the sound of Yae Miko’s voice. Red-faced, Thoma greeted her with a stuttered reply that has the priestess chuckling at the doorway.

“No need to explain yourselves. Young ones always have so much energy, after all,” she teased. “Lord Ayato was kind enough to invite me to this little get-together, but I must take my leave. There’s something I need to look into back at the shrine.”

“T-Thanks for coming Lady Guuji. It really is an honor,” you told her dryly, with whatever semblance of composure you could muster up.

Yae Miko flashed another one of those conspiratorial grins. “That reminds me, I left a matrimonial charm in Lady Ayaka’s care as your birthday present. If the two of you ever plan on tying the knot, just show that to one of my shrine maidens, and I’ll personally oversee the ceremony myself.”

…Wait a moment. Did Yae Miko, the Lady Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine, just give the two of you her blessing for marriage?

“Well, you can continue what it was you were doing,” she laughed, lifting one hand in a wave. “I hope to see you both soon~”

Then, there were two.

“We’re going to pretend that didn’t happen, right?” you asked.

Thoma nodded. “Definitely.”

As the two of you straightened yourselves out before rejoining the others at the party, you randomly asked, “Hey, this is a little out of the blue, but have you seen my binoculars anywhere? I put it in the drawer by your cabinets, but I can’t seem to find them anymore.”

He feigned a look of contemplation—wholly aware that he forgot to retrieve your special gadget from where he hid them in the bushes the last time he saw Yae Miko. Fuck. 

“Nope, no clue,” he replied swiftly. “We could ask around in Ritou if they’ve imported anything similar?”

“Ehh, that was just a hand-me-down from the Tenryou Commission anyways.” You shrugged. “Oh, by the way…”

Thoma paused as you leaned closer to his ear to whisper something. If he hadn’t been embarrassed when Yae Miko walked in on the two of you, he definitely was now. 

“I’m going to make up for the time we spent apart when we get home,” you whispered. “You’ll play along, right, pretty boy?”

The chief retainer could barely suppress the groan that reverberated in his chest as you tantalizingly ran your hand across it. Now that he’s fully recovered from his own emotional turmoils, the fact that he’s been wanting to get you alone all this time came crashing down. But it wasn’t as if he’s in any position to refuse.

He was the people pleaser after all. 

© cryoculus | kaientai ✧ all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my work on other platforms.

[fog-and-rust]

Hogwarts Legacy Incorrect Quotes (feat. my Hufflepuff!MC, Ellie)

Sebastian *addressing Ellie and Leander*: Why are you friends?

Leander and Ellie [who are cousins]: *in unison* Poor decisions on our grandparents’ part.

***

Ellie: Professor Fig likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe I can be both.

***

[In Feldcroft catacomb, after Sebastian killed Solomon]

Ellie *chasing Sebastian*: GET BACK HERE YOU IDIOT!

Sebastian: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

***

Ellie: Amit, say something in Gobbledegook again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.

Amit: *sigh* Only for you, my star. Ooooo Baaagaaaaahhh Leooo...

***

Ellie: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Sebastian and Garreth.

***

Amit: I swear to Merlin I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Imelda, Leander, Garreth, Poppy, and Ellie: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

***

Zenobia, gesturing to Ellie: Lucan, look what you did! You made Mom upset!

Lucan: Mom, please don’t cry, we’re sorry!

Zenobia: We’re sorry Mom... :(

Ellie, near tears: I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!

***

Leander, feeling down: I have the sex appeal of an Arithmancy textbook!

Ellie: I don’t know, I’ve never met anyone that opened an Arithmancy textbook and didn’t say “fuck me”.

***

Hogwarts students (and everyone else): If we’re in trouble, just throw Ellie at the problem, and hope for the best.

***

Ellie: I don’t remember that.

Amit: Do you remember that night last week when you jumped from Astronomy tower and cast Levioso on yourself?

Ellie: ... No.

Leander: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by Chinese Chomping Cabbages around the school?

Ellie: Not especially, no.

Poppy: It was in between those two things.

***

[Some responses to being bitten by Chinese Chomping Cabbage]

Ominis: Rude.

Natty: That's fair.

Leander: Not again.

Sebastian: *bites back*

***

Leander: What did you all do?

Poppy: …

Sebastian: …

Natty: …

Garreth: …

Ellie: …

Amit: You’re not in trouble, we just need to know if we have to lie to the teachers again or not.

Ominis: And if I have to use my relations to save you from being expelled … or being sent to Azkaban.

***

Ellie: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Sebastian: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Ominis, do you think I have anger issues?

Ominis: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

***

Poppy: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Leander: Um, murder???

Sebastian: Adventuring!

Ellie: Teacher’s assignment.

***

Leander: We need to distract them.

Ellie: Leave it to me.

Ellie: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Poppy & Amit: *immediately begin arguing*

***

[The squad is playing a team sport]

Poppy: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Imelda?

Garreth: Have you ever played a game with Imelda?

Poppy: No…

Garreth: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a graphorn?

[Meanwhile, on the other side of the field]

Imelda, chasing Leander: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

***

Ellie: *running to the Summoner's Court* Amit just said he doesn’t love me anymore!

Leander & Poppy: What?!

Amit: *following her* I did not say that. I just said that I won’t help with the riddle to Ravenclaw common room just so she can punch Duncan in the face.

[de-bauchry]

A Devils Trap

[pairing]; true formsukuna x fem reader!!

[warning]: MINORS DNI !!, dark content ngl monsterfucker sukuna, noncon? dubcon?, home invading, sukuna is on a bit of a rampage, dacryphilia, name calling (stupid, whore), throat fucking, sukuna w/ 4 arms !! ;))))

[a/n]; ALL HAIL THE MONSTERFUCKERS. MINORS DNI !! I meant to make this for like halloween specifically but whatever btw this is might be dark content so pls don’t interact if ur not into this kinda stuff !! this is also my first time writing for sukuna (I think) aaaaaaaaaaaa please him in his true form is all i WANT 😩

you were hiding in the closet trying to hold in every harsh breath that wanted to escape you. you don’t know what happened or how it got like this but you needed to get away from whatever intruder was in your home. you were trying to calm your shaking hands and panic labored breaths so whoever it was wouldn’t hear you, trying to calm down enough so you could call the cops. immediately taking out your phone to dial 911, your face was thrown against the closet door just as fast, phone glitching out to the point of break, as a large hand smushed harshly against your mouth silenced any scream that dare came from you.

“stupid woman”. sukuna said darkly as you tried to scream against his hand again, just to be met with an unpleasant warm, wet, slimy, muscle shoving itself down your throat. your eyes widened in shock from the sudden intrusion, tears filling your eyes to the brim as you gasped out for air from the sudden penetration in your throat. It was hard to deny a certain ache was starting to fill beneath you; but you couldn’t let this hand, mouth, monster, thing defile you like this!

with that you decided to fight back, biting down on the thick tongue in your mouth. “ke.” sukuna chuckles carnally at your puny attempt of denial and struggle , your bite dealing no damage at all to the monster behind you. he just simply pushes against you even more, forcing his knee up between your cunt, as he lets his free hand travel up your shirt hand tongue licking up the curvature of your spine, teeth helping itself to the clasp of your bra to take it off.

“hey.” the man speaks against the shell of your ear as his other two free hands fondle and grope at your breasts. “did you know your the first woman I’ve been able to feast on? so show a little more struggle against me whore. ke~” sukuna says creepily in your ear an even sinister grin to match, as what started off as one hand now seeming like four wander all over your body. listening to how well you’ve started taking that tongue fucking your throat, those choked out sobs, and your cunt giving you away your wetness just pooling between your thighs as he toyed with your body.