#happy early birthday my beloved son

[carriedghosts]

I’ve decided Rat’s a Cancer and his birthday happens to fall on July 4th.

[gekkaritsu]

Since it's Atsushi's birthday let's share some more facts about Nakajima-sensei's life I have learnt thanks to the wikipedia's article on Atsushi Nakajima (jap > eng translated, thankgoogle translate) and the Nakajima no Kai in Twitter/X.

Again, it's important to mention that the following facts are vaguely translated and I suggest not to take them too seriously. However, I still find them interesting to know so many of us can enrich our analyses on the bsd character and/or expand any sort of headcanons!

Background and Family:

1. Atsushi's biological mother was a former elementary school teacher. Her maiden name was Chiyo Okazaki. It is said that she may not have fit into the Nakajima family due them being centered more into the education of boys rather than girls, her intelligence and "aggressiveness" was not proper of housework (accordingly to the values at that time). She separated from Atsushi's father when he was around 1 year old. She later remarried and had a son (Yukio, Atsushi's half-brother)

2. Atsushi's father was Tabito Nakajima. He was a scholar in Chinese and Confucian studies. He treated Atsushi in a strange manner (he was very distant of him yet proud of his son). He remarried twice after divorcing Atsushi's mother.

3. Atsushi had 2 step-mothers: Katsu Konya (his 1st step-mother)and Kou Io (his 2nd step-mother).

4. He proposed to his wife with a simple "Be my wife". Funny part is that he proposed a week after meeting her.

Miscellaneous:

1. As a teacher at Yokohama Girls' High School, he taught Japanese and English. It is said he was rather strict but his classes were fun.

2. It is said that he did not like watermelons nor cucumbers, but he preferred persimmons.

3. Around 1937, he took part of the gardening club of his school. Some people said he got interested in this hobby due the early death of his daughter and his own deteriorating health.

4. His hobbies included ballroom dancing and gardening.

One more time, Happy Birthday to our beloved protagonist and Happy 115th Birthday to Atsushi-sensei.

[roseofdarknessblog]

Christmas baby | Levi Ackerman

You’ve always loved Christmas and everything that came with the holiday season. But for the last couple of years, Christmas has been special thanks to your partner. Since Levi was a Christmas baby, as you loved to call him, the holidays became even more remarkable to you.

Making everything perfect for Levi and his special day was your priority every single year. He didn’t like big noisy celebrations or people making a fuss out of his birthday. So every year, you made sure to spend the 25th of December in a calm and loving atmosphere. Sometimes at home and sometimes away on a little vacation somewhere nice.

„Good morning, sleepy head,“ you said with a huge smile when Levi walked into the kitchen. It was bright and early, the sun was only coming up, making the thick layer of snow outside sparkle in the sunlight. Your whole house was full of warm yellow glow, making everything seem extra cozy. „Breakfast is almost ready.“

Levi shook his head with a sleepy smirk, coming up to you and hugging you around the waist from behind. His lips pressed a warm kiss behind your ear, while you were finishing up with the special breakfast for your most beloved.

„Happy Birthday and also Merry Christmas,“ you said joyfully, looking over your shoulder to meet his lips in another tender kiss. His grip around your waist tightened a little, keeping you close.

„Thank you, love. Merry Christmas to you too.“ He rested his head against yours, watching you finish his favorite French toast with pieces of fried bacon. It was a lovely combination, mainly with Levi’s special winter-flavored caramel tea. „Do we have any plans for today?“

„No, not really. Maybe we could go for a walk if the weather stays nice. I love how quiet and peaceful the world outside is during the holiday season.“

„Yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe we can visit my mom, too.“

„I talked to her yesterday, she’s coming over for lunch tomorrow. And she’s expecting us for dinner today.“ You and Kuchel had an amazing relationship. She truly was a saint, who always had so much love for both you and her son. Even her brother Kenny liked catching up with you when he came for a quick visit or if you met at Kuchel’s house.

As you kept talking, both of you sat down at the dining table and enjoyed breakfast together. While you served the food, Levi made tea. Since there was nowhere to hurry, you could truly enjoy each and every moment, cherishing the time spent together on this very special day.

The house was nice and quiet, and all you could hear were the sounds of nature from outside. When you looked out the window, you saw tiny snowflakes drifting around and making the outside scenery even more lovely. It was such a huge contrast to everything you saw around you in the house – the Christmas tree, all the decorations and the fire peacefully burning in the fireplace, making the house warm and cozy.

The day of Levi’s birthday nor Christmas were ever about giving one another a huge amount of gifts. The best thing about the entire holidays were actually the days leading up to them. When you found time to decorate and bake together. Dance around the house to gentle Christmas music and fool around the kitchen, making a huge mess in the process and then cleaning it all up while tasting your sweet creations.

Yes, the actual holidays were beautiful and filled with love and gratitude, but those very last days before them had some unique kind of magic you looked forward to every single year. And Levi too. He adored helping you get everything ready. Despite all the tasks, he found it relaxing and assuring in a way. All the hustle before the holidays made him feel grateful that he had a special someone to share all of this with.

„What?“ Levi asked, when he caught you looking at him with a smile on your lips, while he was still finishing his breakfast. You shook your head and looked into your already empty plate. „No, tell me. What’s the matter?“

„Nothing, I just... I love you.“ He smirked at your shy expression as you said that. Almost as if you were saying it for the very first time. „And I’m so grateful that we can celebrate another holiday together,“ you added, reaching out your hand and stroking his cheek lovingly.

Levi slightly turned his head and pressed a kiss into your palm, leaning into your touch a bit more. The calm and content expression on his beautiful face made you feel all the joy in the entire universe.

„How about showing me just how much you love me?“ he teased and before you knew it, he pulled you over to sit on his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly.

„Don’t you want to unwrap your presents first?“ you asked, playfully running your thumb over his lower lip. With a smirk, Levi’s hands slipped under your shirt and onto your lower back, his touch warm and gentle.

„Hmm, there’s one very special gift I can’t wait to unwrap,“ he mumbled in a low voice, his lips gently brushing against your mouth. One of his hands traveled up your back underneath your shirt, holding you close. His eyes locked with yours, full of love and hunger for your body. „Maybe we could get to it now, so later we can go for that walk you mentioned earlier,“ he continued teasing you, while his other hand slipped out from underneath your shirt and into your hair.

„It’s your special day. So you’re the one to say that we’ll be doing.“

„Trust me, I’ll enjoy this fact very much,“ he whispered into your lips and stood up, lifting you off his lap. With your legs wrapped around his waist, he made his way back to the bedroom, your lips staying pressed together in a passionate kiss for the entire time.

It was his birthday, after all. So it was only fair to grant him every little pleasure his heart desired.

[madame-fear]

*ೃ༄ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 .ೃ࿐

.·:¨༺ [ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟏 | 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠. ] ༻¨:·.

— summary : (y/n) Velaryon is Lucerys' aunt, Laenor's close cousin, and Vaemond's daughter. Lucerys nurtures a deep love and admiration for her Velaryon way of being, making him fall hard for his aunt, unaware his feelings are mutual. But how will their relationship be shaken when her father tries to claim himself as the true heir of Driftmark? — requested? : yes, by my beloved @faces-ofvenus. Happy birthday precious, hope you have an amazing day, and you enjoy your reading! 🥺🥳💐 — word count : 5.4k

— pairing : lucerys velaryon x velaryon! aunt! reader — genre : fluff.

TW │ mentions of incest content (aunt-nephew mutual crushing), and some minor cursing.

ೃ⁀➷ Read Chapter One ೃ⁀➷ Read Chapter Two ೃ⁀➷ Read Chapter Three ೃ⁀➷ Read Chapter Fourೃ⁀➷ Read Chapter Five

The gentle ocean waves softly crashed against the rocks of the Dragonstone Castle, creating a soothing splashing sound in the atmosphere everytime it clashed against the stones.

As Rhaenyra stood outside the castle, she watched the boat you were sailing in with a small troop slowly approach from the light mist, appearing to near sight in a leisure way, causing her lips to curve into a warm, gentle smile. The Velaryon sigil and symbolism sewed in the black flags that flew along the cool breeze of the wind were properly seen the closer it got to Dragonstone. From the full end of the sailingboat, your figure appeared, covering slightly your face from the vivid rays of the sun with the back of your hand, immediatly spotting the Targaryen Princess, who had been the wife of your late close cousin Laenor, and greeting her with a mere hand wave, accompanied of a rapturous toothy-grin forming upon your lips. Noticing this, the platinum-haired woman waved back joyfully, awaiting patiently for your arrival after nearly one and a half year of not seeing each other, with both her hands tightly clasped and resting in front of her body.

Once the ship moored at a dock near the grand castle — and rather quickly — you waved goodbye to the small troop that had taken you to Dragonstone with a gentle grin on the corner of your lips, and immediatly rushed to Rhaenyra, who was the mother of your late cousin's three sons. Despite the legitimacy of their blood being often questioned, you constantly defended your most beloved nephews to no end. And even though by blood the boys and you were meant to be second cousins, from early childhood the three boys always thought of you as their aunt... and it remained that way.

“My sweet (y/n),” with her arms wide open, she calmly greeted, as you embraced her by wrapping your own arms around her body, and without hesitation, she immediatly returned it. “My dear Rhaenyra.” you greeted back, slowly rocking your bodies to the side as you embraced each other lovingly. A warm sense of comfort and familiarity washed over you after what felt an eternity of not seeing each other, you swore you could feel your cheeks beginning to hurt from how broadly you smiled. Slowly, both of you began to pull apart from each other, and looked deep into your eyes.

“Welcome back to Dragonstone, (y/n).” her hand was placed on your back as the two of you began walking side by side, the Princess guiding you inside the unfamiliar castle. It was a quite a grand castle with large mesmerising dragon statues all over it's outsides, and one whom gracefully shone with the blazing sunrays of the forming twilight. “You must be tired from such a long journey, I pressume?” she inquired with a gentle smile tilting her head very slightly to her side, her lilac eyes staring into your (e/c) ones as your hairs flew smoothly along the wind. Snapping from your own trance of thoughts upon hearing your voice, you shrugged. “It was a long journey indeed, but I don't think I'll ever get tired from navigating across the ocean waves.” you retorted with a smug grin, causing her to chuckle quietly. Before she could reply or speak anything else, you continued; “And how are my nephews?” you asked, genuinely curious. It had been quite a long time since you had last seen them. You had no doubt, they must've grown quite rapidly since the last time you were all together.

Of course, you loved the three Velaryon boys equally, and you were the most overprotective relative of them. However, a notorious tension between your secondborn nephew, Lucerys, and you were felt whenever you were together in the same room. It had always been felt. His hazel eyes would nevear leave yours, or would give you side looks, in any family conversation Lucerys always found a way to bring the topic of you into it. There was a small sensation of a growing passion for you, though he denied it even to himself, and passed it as a mere "admiration for his aunt" for being a true Velaryon who wasn't afraid of navigating, knew exactly how to avoid seasickness, and you had an extraordinarily sense of freedom that he so wished to have himself.

But over the course of time, whenever his heart fluttered at your loving smiles when you caught him eyeing you, he knew admiration wasn't the only thing he felt for you. It was something else. Everyone could see it... Rhaenyra could see it very clearly. At the very beginning, she simply passed it as her son favouring a relative, but as she looked closely to your interactions, she realised the certain way you shared looks — and there, she began suspecting regarding her son's feelings towards you. Your shared feelings, as you always stared right back at him intensely.

“They've missed you, a lot.” she replied, a tiny smile remaining on her lips as both of you entered the grand castle together, after having walked quite some steps. If you were already amused by the outside of the castle, you were even more mesmerised by the insides of the castle; it was mostly full of Targaryen symbolism, dragon statues, and dragon heads carved on it's walls. Your eyes scanned the entirety of the castle, following Rhaenyra a bit mindlessly. “The boys are training at the moment.” Rhaenyra spoke, causing you to dart your eyes towards her, “Come with me, my dear.” she gestured for you to follow her. You did as she said, and rapidly followed her before you could get any more lost at the slight unfamiliarity.

As the two of you walked across the large, grey-ish corridors, some passing maidens and servants respectfully bowed and greeted her. The halls seemed never ending from how large and continous they were, though, they were a true sight to admire and behold. While you walked, she gave you a small "tour" around the castle, explaining how the halls were connected, the rooms, and showed you briefly the other places around so you could get familiarised, and guide yourself around the castle. After walking and passing through many large halls, you reached another grand door that lead to the outside, allowing you to explore the rocky island a bit more, and it contained a downhill path that allowed you to admire the view of the waving ocean.

“I'm certain the boys will be thrilled to see their aunt after a long time, my dear.” as she guided you towards the downhill path, she spoke. The refreshing scent of the sea flew along the breeze, your hairs and the dark cape you used when navigating flowed rather smoothly as you walked side by side. A grin appeared on your lips, your fluttering heart thumped against your chest warmly, and strangely enough, you felt... nervous, in a way, of meeting with them once again. Especially, meeting with your favourite nephew.

“As I am thrilled to see them.” you retorted, briefly gazing into her eyes and grinning, while you continued to walk.

The path was slightly long and silent, but enjoyable, and you reached quickly a small beachside that stood outside Dragonstone, allowing a perfect view of the grand ocean; some passing sailingboats were seen at a distance, and raven cawing was heard in the background. The ocean waves continously clashed against the rocks smoothly, bringing you a comforting sensation of being close to home. And as you analysed your surroundings while you stepped into the sand, the sound of continously clashing swords was heard faintly, causing your eyes to dart towards where the sound came from; encountering yourself with Jacaerys and Lucerys both sword training together, as a maester stared and guided them on their movements, and hits.

“They've grown up quite rapidly, have they not?” Rhaenyra's soft voice was heard, as she stood by your side while both of you watched the boys training with the swords, which vividly shone and glinted under the striking sun whenever one of the Velaryon boys swinged the swords. Your eyes focused on Lucerys, whose movements when swinging his sword were slightly weak and trembling, stumbling a bit everytime his brother's blade hit his own. His attention shifted from his brother, to you when he spotted both his mother and you staring at them from the corner of his eyes. The following movements were made without the properly required attention for a responsability such as swordtraining, his focus shifting from his brother to you continously.

Rhaenyra kept speaking to you about certain things you quite couldn't hear, as her voice faded in the background — leaving you focused solely on his hazel eyes, as your heart fluttered intensely, and you gave him a warm smile; an increasingly scarlet glint on your cheeks was seen, much like his.

In one of those sudden lack of attention moments Lucerys was having once he finally spotted you, Jace swiftly and vigorously hit Luke's sword with his own, rapidly tossing it aside to sand, causing Lucerys to, with eyes widen, shift his attention on the training with his brother, and accidentally stumble upon a small rock behind of him, falling on his back to the sand, and releasing a small defeated huff as he covered his face with his arm, as to protect himself from the dazzling sun.

“Be more careful with your brother, Jacaerys.” from a faint distance, you heard the maester lightly scold Jace, as the eldest Velaryon nodded in agreement, and leaned down closer to his brother. Luke stared attentively as Jace scolded him for being distracted, but his eyes rapidly shifted back to yours as his lips turned into an thin, straight line as his cheeks grew an even darker shade of scarlet from embarrassment upon seeing a playful grin quivering on your lips at the moment.

“Are you even listening to me, Luke?” Jace's slightly stern yet calm voice tone was heard scolding his brother. Noticing his younger brother's strange lack of focus, Jace abruptly stopped talking and explaining to his brother how to position himself for swordfighting, and turned around to where Luke was staring at: which was, you. Of course, a broad smile formed on his lip at the sight of his favourite aunt that he hadn't seen for sometime, and greeted you by waving which you immediatly returned, but with an understanding expression on his face, he turned to his brother whom still laid on the sand, and helped him stand up by taking a firm grip of his hand, and raising him from the ground.

“You can't be a bit less obvious, can you?” Jace muttered lowly only for his brother to hear as Luke swooped away the remaining grains of sand on his clothing, and his lips remained straight, accompanied by the intense fluster. Jace knew about his brother's feelings for you, he could see the way he stared at each other... anyone whom paid close attention to both of you could, in fact, realise that your affection was mutual — but he knew his brother would've to be a little more discreet with the way he felt for you. Plus, he had warned him several times already about the way none of you could take your eyes off each other, on other occasions when you visited the entire family.

“So? What do you think about that idea, (y/n)?” Rhaenyra's voice snapped you from your attention, which was fixed on Luke going back to train with his brother as his maester explained something to them that you couldn't quite catch — and you realised, you had listened to nothing of what Rhaenyra was talking to you. In fact, you didn't even know about what you were supposed to think about what she was talking!

“I, uh– What? I mean, yes, uh—” as you tried to recompose your thoughts, you stumbled upon your words briefly. “Yes, I erm, think that idea is perfect.” you retorted not even knowing what you were agreeing to, trying to keep a polite smile as you looked at her, whom returned you the kind smile. “Excellent.” she said, as she placed a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. “And, how long are you planning on staying, my dear?” she inquired, slightly tilting her head to her side curiously. “Well, if it's not much trouble, I was wondering if I could stay with you for a full moon? I missed my family.” you replied, fidgeting lightly with your fingers — she nodded warmly, agreeing.

“Of course, make yourself at home.” Rhaenyra replied, a kind grin remaining on her lips. “Come, I will show you the chambers our maidens have prepared for you, my dear.” both of you turned around, and started making your way back inside the Dragonstone castle as she guided you, but not before briefly turning around and giving one last look at the boys, making a last eye contact with Luke. Noticing the sweet, gentle smile curving on your lips, he quickly returned it before going back to swordtraining with his brother.

Both boys wished to leave away their duties and greet their aunt after such a long time, but it wasn't the time to do so, yet. They would after finishing all their responsabilities, unfortunately.

🐉🏰🐉🏰🐉🏰🐉🏰🐉🏰🐉🏰🐉🏰

Dusk took over the previous twilight, making the sun rapidly disappear from sight, leaving place for the moon and the bright stars to appear in the sky.

After a long day of being shown around the castle, exploring it by yourself, and trying to set your things in the guest chamber Rhaenyra had maidens to prepare for you, you decided to step off outside for a while, leisurely walking towards the previous downhill path that descended towards the small beachside where the boys had been training. It was a nice way of spending time while you waited for the maidens to finish preparing and serving dinner.

The breeze of the night was calming, and enjoyable – a small, satisfied sigh escaped your lips as your eyes fixed on the moving ocean waves that had reflections of the bright moon. The sea was always your provider of comfort, it felt true to your nature. As you fluttered your eyes shut and softly inhaled, taking in the fresh scent of the sea and the cool breeze while being immersed in your own thoughts, a familiar, soft voice spoke from behind of you.

“Aunt?” upon hearing the voice, you opened your eyes quickly, and swiftly moved your head to turn around at the voice, finding yourself with Lucerys awkwardly staring at you; his hands clasped behind his back. You greeted him with a single nod, and an intensely growing smile on your lips. “Lucerys, dear nephew.” you replied, as the young prince shyly started walking towards you, noticing the scarlet glint on his cheeks at being near your presence. As he leisurely approached you, you opened your arms widely, signaling for him to feel free to embrace you, which he immediatly caught, and rapidly wrapped his arms around your body tightly.

His head fell to the crook of your neck, taking in your sweet scent, and you returned his tight embrace as your hands gently rubbed his back. “Missed me, I see?” you teased lightly with a small grin on your lips, looking down at the princeling, whom nodded in response. “I have. I was wondering when we would see each other again.” he replied, his voice sounding a bit muffled as his head remained tightly pressed against your neck. “I should've, at least, sent a raven – I apologise for not contacting you, sweet boy.” as your voice was tender, your fingers crept around his curls, and leisurely played with them by twirling his curls around your index fingers.

“I... I was simply overwhelmed with lots of paperwork and duties, love.” you continued, “But there wasn't a single second where I wasn't thinking about you, and your family.” slowly pulling away from the hug, you cupped his warm cheeks, making him stare deeply into your eyes with his big puppy ones. His lips had a shy smile as you reassured him; your hand softly moved some fangs of curls that very slightly covered his face, as his hazel eyes admiringly stared at you. “I have indeed missed you.” he mumbled, not taking his eyes off of yours. “How long will you be staying with us?”

“Your mother and I agreed that I'll be staying a full moon.” upon hearing your answer, a glint of excitement appeared on his eyes, followed by a broad smile. Your hands descend from cupping his cheeks, to taking hold of his hands. “Come, let us go for a walk, shall we?” nodding, he allowed you to take hold of his hand very tenderly, and both of you walked side by side around the beachside, occasionally admiring the ocean waves which shone under the glints of the moon. Unfortunately for him, you shyly let go of his hand, now grasping each other as you walked close to your bodies.

Amongst the sounds of the clashing waves against the rocks, there was an awkward silence between both of you. None of you knew where you were exactly walking to, you were just... enjoying each other's presence, and the quiet stillness of the night along with it's cool windy breeze. A sigh escaped your lips, and you turned your head to your side where Lucerys walked next to you, and you briefly caught him staring at you, making you release a breathless chuckle.

“You have grown since I last saw you, Luke.” you spoke in a low tone, kindly smiling at him. His eyes hesitated briefly to look at you as he stared down at the sand while strolling together, but eventually, he built up the courage to dart his gaze at you, trying to contain his excitement yet nervousness. “Thank you, aunt.” Luke awkwardly murmured, as his lips quivered into a shy smile for you. After that, silence overtook between both of you, as you kept walking side by side. It was hard for Lucerys to talk to you; not because he didn't want to, but merely because he thought extremely highly of you, and didn't want to accidentally say something you might possibly find stupid.

“Aunt, are you not tired from such a long journey?” after fighting with himself internally whether to speak or not, he managed to talk without his voice breaking, or slowly dying of nervousness. You softly chuckled, and looked at him, shaking your head. “The sea is my home. I have gotten used to navigate through the sea waves without growing tired, or sick.” his eyes admiringly stared at you as you spoke. You were a true Velaryon, and he wished he could be more like you were. Bold, you weren't afraid of navigating through the sea and you had an incredibly admirable knowledge about all things related to sailing. Sometimes... he couldn't help but find himself thinking that, perhaps, you should be the true heir of Driftmark.

He lightly scoffed, but to himself. “I wish I were more like you.” he mumbled, shaking his head. You furrowed your eyebrows confusedly, tilting your head to your side. “I'm not so... perfect, like you are.” upon hearing his self-despiting words, you furrowed your eyebrows. Before you could object against his statement, he continued. “I always become greensick when I get into a boat. I can barely tolerate sailing through the sea. I–” Lucerys interrupted himself, his eyes shyly gazed at the sand. “I shouldn't be the heir of Driftmark. You should be the true heir, not me!” his voice tone was slightly raised, as he managed to finally look up into your eyes. Your lips were formed in a thin line, as you shook your head. “No, no– Lucerys, listen to me.” some slurred words escaped your lips as you tried to rearrange your thoughts. It wasn't that you didn't know what to tell him, you knew exactly what to respond to his rambling against himself, but you just had too many good things to say about him that you didn't know where to start, continue, and end.

Both your hands were placed firmly on his shoulders. “My dear, I am far from perfect.” you begun, as a warm crimson glint formed on his cheeks at your intense, passionate gaze, feeling the grip your hands had on his shoulders. “You are perfect just the way you are. I was your age once, and much like you, I doubted myself as well. But, as I grew up, I fed myself with knowledge about the sea, navigation, about our House and it's legacy, I was taught such things by my own maesters...” as you continued speaking, your voice was stern; but only because you couldn't tolerate hearing him speak in such way about himself. “It takes time, but you will learn with the passing of time. You can't expect to have all the knowledge you need to have as the future Lord of Driftmark in the blink of an eye, you will be leisurely taught everything you need to know as you grow up, Lucerys. Don't rush yourself.” his head awkwardly nodded at you, understanding every single word you meant. Giving it a more insightful though, perhaps, you were right. You had more experience than he had, and Lucerys could see that you were clearly speaking from that said experience. “You will be an excellent Lord of Driftmark, I know.” you reassured, even if he still wasn't so convinced about it.

“And you know why I know you'll be an excellent future Lord of Driftmark?” your voice asked with a playful tone on it. His eyebrows lightly furrowed with curiousity, tilting his head to one side awaiting for your response. “Because I will be the one teaching you all about the sea, and our legacy of navigation.” with a quivering, excited smile growing on your lips, you responded quite pridefully at your own question. “You might have maesters to be taught High Valyrian, history, and other things... but I will personally ask your mother to be your own maester of the sea, navigation, and I will teach you the ways I used to avoid seasickness. What do you think, Luke?” With every passing second you spoke, his straight shaped lips began turning into a broad smile, accompanied with an even increasing reddish fluster, and his heart began fluttering quite rapidly at the thought of having the luck of spending more time with you, and having you as his teacher. Lucerys had to thank the Seven for giving him such joyful opportunity.

A warm chuckle outbursted from his lips at your light teasing, making you mimick his reaction as well. “Well, then I suppose it is only fair I get to teach you about dragons, if you will be my own maester.” Lucerys joked, trying to ease his excited nerves at the idea of getting to spend more time with his aunt, and hidden crush. You nodded, rather eager at his statement, broadly grinning. “Of course, sweet boy. We have a deal, but only if you promise me to trust more about your skills.” pinching his cheek lightly, you tilted your head to your side, awaiting for his response, your hand ascending to gently hold his chin with your fingers.

You noticed he was always shy and a bit awkward around you, and you found that very adorable. Sometimes he could only manage to stare at you rather than approach you to talk, but when he did have the courage to talk to you for a bit, you appreciated it.

In response, he rapidly nodded. “Very well, aunt. I will. We have a deal.” Lucerys mumbled a bit quietly, and you proudly smiled at him. “Good. And I will be waiting for those lessons with dragons, sweet boy.” you joked, placing a long kiss on his forehead... which, of course, he completely gave into the feeling of your lips giving him kisses, making his eyes shine with an excited glint. As you pulled away, and before you could say anything else, an idea appeared on his mind nearly like a recently lit up bulb. “It's been quite some while since you last saw Arrax, has it not?” he inquired.

For him, it was the greatest idea — he would try and impress you by taking you to visit Arrax upclose on his dragonpit since you never had the chance to pet the pearly-coloured dragon, and not only that, but you were willing to be taught by him all things regarding dragons and you'd teach him about the sea! Meaning, you'd get to spend more time the entire full moon you'd be staying. In the meantime, he'd think of a plan to convice his mother — and you — on allowing you to stay for a longer period of time; though he knew his mother would say yes in a heartbeat.

At his question, you lifted an eyebrow and nodded. “Yes, correct? I have seen him last time I was here, and only got to see a slight bit of him flying in the skies.” you responded, curiously awaiting to hear what he had to say, even if you already sensed slightly why he was asking you that. His warm, delicate hands took hold of yours, and began dragging you by taking hold of them. “Then, allow me to welcome you back by taking you to visit Arrax up close, aunt.” you giggled quietly with a certain joyful anxiety on your tone, as he dragged you to the dragonpit. “As long as he doesn't bite or burns me to ashes, I accept your offer.”

It was true, though. As used as you were to seeing dragons thanks to your own House's relationship to House Targaryen, you never had a personal close contact with a dragon. Even if you didn't admit outloud that you were slightly nervous, Luke could notice it right away in your facial expressions, and of course, your concerned voice tone, even if you joked around to hide the anxiety.

“Dragons can sense their riders emotions. Whatever you feel, they will feel it as well.” as Lucerys guided you towards the dragonpit, his grip on your hand remained, but was softer now. As it was dark, none of you could notice the light blushing on your cheeks from the contact. “Oh, can they?” you lifted an eyebrow as you queried. You knew you were definitely going to enjoy having him teach you about dragons. He nodded in response. “Yes. Arrax will surely sense that you are of no threat, as we... both have a special aunt-nephew relationship.” he reassured, and you nodded, your smile growing broader, along with your fluster.

“Yes, we do, Luke.” you mumbled as you were guided by him through the moonlit beachside. “If you say I won't get burnt to ashes by your dragon, I trust your word, then.” you joked, a small chuckle escaping your lips.

Pushing aside the naturally nervous feelings that the thought of meeting a dragon up close provoked you, you couldn't deny that you were excited. Not only excited for simply meeting a dragon closer, but to know that throughout the entirety of your stay in Dragonstone will include teaching each other about your own personal knowledge, and spending time together... as you had always desired.

🐉🌊🐉🌊🐉🌊🐉🌊🐉🌊🐉🌊🐉🌊

The path from the beachside to Arrax's dragonpit was a rather quick walk — quicker than you would've originally thought.

As both of you approached the large, obscure dragonpit, your eyes scanned the pit with amusement, briefly stopping at the entrance only to admire the rocky structure. Then, with a mix of nervousness and excitement, you followed Lucerys inside the pit. It was cold and dark, but nothing that could bother you too much; it was rather impressive for you, as you had never entered a dragonpit before.

“Rytsas, Arrax.” your eyes darted towards Luke, as you heard him speaking in High Valyrian. A long, fiery huff was both heard and felt, as from the shadows a grand pearly coloured dragon approached the two of you. The dragon's large, amber eyes stared at you curiously, leaning closer to you as to inspect you. Your body stiffened upon feeling the dragon's hot breath against your body, as he carefully observed you. Lucerys, whom stood by your side staring at the interaction with a proud smile, playfully released a chuckle.

Shyly, you raised your hand in front of the dragon, expecting him to smell it, and so he did. Arrax smelt your hand, and quickly licked it as if it were a puppy — immediatly calming your nerves at seeing that the dragon approved of you. A long, satisfied sigh escaped your lips, as you grinned, and turned to look at the Velaryon boy.

“See? I told you he'd like you.” as the dragon kept licking your tongue playfully and huffing joyfully at your presence, Luke spoke with a proud expression on his face. You giggled, and looked back at him. Of course he was right; Arrax would like you, as much as Lucerys liked you. Dragons can feel their riders emotions and feelings, after all, so his dragon's reaction was of no surprise at all for him. His hazel eyes would not leave your overjoyed expression as you turned back to stare at Arrax and coo at him, intensely staring at you admiringly, causing his heart to flutter quite rapidly.

“Ziry iksos olvie gevie, nyke gīmigon (she's quite beautiful, I know).” as he approached Arrax a bit closer, he started tenderly petting his scales, while he spoke something in Valyrian that you quite couldn't catch... and he was grateful that you didn't understood. His eyes wandered a bit at Arrax while he licked your hand and face, and then he turned to look at you, slightly tilting his head to his side. “Why don't you pet his scales a bit? He will enjoy it.” your eyes widened, and you hesitated a bit at his statement. But seeing that the dragon apparently approved of you, perhaps you could pet it like the green-eyed boy suggested.

The hand that Arrax previously licked went to pet the scales near his nostrils very carefully, trying to get used at the raspy texture under your fingertips. Your eyes glinted with amusement at the newly felt sensation as you petted the dragon, whom clearly enjoyed your touch.

“Ah, I would've never imagined such grand beasts would act like puppies when petted.” you joked lightly, causing Luke to chuckle, while your eyes never left Arrax. “I like him, he's cute.” your eyes darted towards his now, smiling shyly, as your fingertips kept caressing the dragon tenderly. A broad smile curved on his lips as well, a crimson shade appearing on his face. “Then, we could come visit him more often. I'm certain he will be thrilled to have you as a frequent visitor, aunt.” upon hearing his words, your eyes seemed to shine with an even brighter spark of joy, as you lifted your eyebrows excitedly. “Oh! Really? I'd be honoured, then.” it was a bit hard to contain your excitement, as it was notorious by your voice tone, and your facial expressions as you spoke. All your previous feelings of nerves were fully gone, luckily.

Before any of you could respond anything else, you briefly turned around to look outside the dragonpit, and you sighed. “I think we should get going back inside the castle, sweetling. Otherwise we'll be late for the dinner your mother organised, and she'll scold us.” you teased, turning around your head to look back at him as you spoke, as he nodded in agreement with a wide grin at your joking, and gave one final pat to Arrax's scales. “Besides, I have plans for us in the morrow.” as Lucerys gave Arrax his own goodbye and left the beast to rest once again, his eyes curiously looked at you.

“We will sail together in the morrow, and I will teach you everything you need to know when navigating.” as both of you began leaving the dragonpit as to make your way back inside the grand castle, his eyes looked at you excitedly. Words felt stuck on his throat at the thought of both of you spending more time together by yourselves, making his heart loudly thump against his chest nervously, but keen for the moments yet to come — and all he could do, was mindlessly nod as he followed you back inside from behind like a lost puppy; his cheeks fully reddened.

It was going to be an intense full moon during your stay, but a joyful one that would make him the happiest, as he gets to spend it with you.

♡ taglist : ♡

@jjamieberry @anemicroyalcore @countsmoon @tickle-euphoria @beeebo234 @manuholland6 @capellaadara

[nottyourlover]

Birthday Shenanigans.

a/n: i literally need to study for my exam block for like the next month until it's over, if i post anything on tumblr literally tell me to shut up and study. temporary hiatus?

summary: azriel and your son attempt to make you breakfast, but it goes horribly wrong.

warnings: none?

word count: 622.

The morning sun streamed through the curtains of you and Azriel's spacious master bedroom, waking you up. You yawned loudly, reaching over to Azriel's side of the bed only to find it empty. Patting the cool mattress, you frowned, thinking that surely, he didn't leave for another early morning? Then you heard loud clanging noises coming from downstairs, Orion's small giggles and Azriel's poor attempts at muffling his noise. Oh, you sighed in relief.

Before you could get up to investigate, however, Azriel appeared, leaning against in the doorway, with a twinkle in his eye.

"Good morning, my love," he said, lips curling into a dazed smile. "Happy birthday."

You beamed, feeling a warm sense of happiness wash over you. "Thank you, Az," you said. "What's going on down there?"

Azriel chuckled. "Orion and I thought we'd surprise you with breakfast in bed. But things aren't going exactly as planned."

You raised an eyebrow, feeling a little worried since last time's family cooking night ended with meatballs stuffed in places where no things should ever be stuffed.

"...Az, what does that mean?"

Azriel shrugged, "Well, let's just say that there's flour everywhere, some pancakes are stuck to the roof, and our son is covered in syrup."

You couldn't help but laugh, worry clearing ever so slightly, imagining the scene in the kitchen. "Sounds like quite the party. You've left him alone downstairs?"

Azriel looked a little sheepish, "He promised to be good!"

Helping you get out of bed, he took your hand and led you down the stairs. As you entered the kitchen, you were greeted with a scene that was both chaotic and heartwarming.

Orion was covered in syrup and flour, but he was grinning from ear to ear, clearly proud of himself for helping his dad make breakfast. Azriel returned to what you assumed was his previous post at the stove, flipping pancakes with a look of intense concentration on his face.

All around your beloved family was a mess of flour, broken eggs and syrup, with pans and mixing bowls scattered haphazardly across the countertops.

You couldn't help but smile at the sight, feeling a sense of overwhelming love and gratitude for your little family. "This is the best birthday present ever," you said, taking in the chaotic scene around you.

Orion shook his head, laughing. "No mama, we got you an even better gift!"

Azriel looked up, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Orion's right but wait until you see what I have planned for you tonight," he said, nonchalantly. You death glared Azriel, but Orion didn't even seem to notice his father's innuendo, as he was busy going through a bag of chocolate chips. Azriel chuckled, "I'm not sure how edible these pancakes are going to be though."

At the word "pancakes" Orion finally looked up at you with a grin, his syrup-covered face beaming. "Happy birthday, mama!" he said, as you came closer, giggling as he outstretched his grubby hands. He was only 6 now, but you and Azriel both felt he was growing up too quickly.

You gave your son a big hug, brushing away his wavy raven hair and kissing his forehead. Azriel called, "Wait for me!" and the three of you stood in the middle of a dreadfully messy kitchen and embraced.

"Mama, something smells weird," Orion suddenly exclaimed, plugging his nose dramatically.

"Azriel! The pancakes!" Azriel's eyes widened as he dashed back to the stove where a cloud of gas was gathered, rising from the remains of a burnt pancake. Unfortunately for your husband, this time, the pancake wouldn't flip over at all, leaving a foul-smelling mess stuck to the pan.

He smiled sheepishly, "Happy Birthday?"

This, you thought, was what happiness truly meant. Messy, chaotic, and oh-so-sweet.

[on-partiality]

January 22nd, 1782 - The day Philip Hamilton was born!

Happy 242nd birthday to the sad rake! For his birthday I've decided to write about all of the information we know about him from letters sent to him, letters written about him and any other scintilla of information relating to him that I can find!

So, on this day 242 years ago, Philip Hamilton was born. The first son of founding father, Alexander Hamilton and the wealthy Elizabeth Schuyler. He was named after his grandfather (on his mother's side of course), General Philip Schuyler.

The earliest piece of writing we have on the young Philip Hamilton is this snippet of a letter:

'If you are not in the humor to read a long letter do, prithee, give this to the child to play with and go on with your amusement of rocking the cradle. '

This letter's from Mchenry, a doctor and aide of George Washington's, to Alexander Hamilton, written on the 11th of August, 1782. While it's short and just a simple humorous opening to a long letter it does give us the fact that Hamilton watched over his son well so there's that. The next letter is far more detailed because it's written by Hamilton himself and as you're about to read about he was very proud of his son. Here's the letter:

'You reproach me with not having said enough about our little stranger. When I wrote last I was not sufficiently acquainted with him to give you his character. I may now assure you... [h]e is truly a very fine young gentleman, the most agreeable in his conversation and manners of any I ever knew—nor less remarkable for his intelligence and sweetness of temper. You are not to imagine by my beginning with his mental qualifications that he is defective in personal. It is agreed on all hands, that he is handsome, his features are good, his eye is not only sprightly and expressive but it is full of benignity. His attitude in sitting is by connoisseurs esteemed graceful and he has a method of waving his hand that announces the future orator. He stands however rather awkwardly and his legs have not all the delicate slimness of his fathers. It is feared He may never excel as much in dancing which is probably the only accomplishment in which he will not be a model. If he has any fault in manners, he laughs too much. He has now passed his Seventh Month.'

This letter is from Alexander Hamilton to Richard Kidder Meade, written on the 27th of August, 1782 (yes, that is Laurens' death day) If I could find Meade's letter to Hamilton that prompted this letter in response then we could've had another early mention of Philip Hamilton as Hamilton says 'you reproach me with having not said enough about our little stranger', this sentence makes no sense if Meade didn't actually tell Hamilton he hadn't told him enough about his newborn son. From this letter we can conclude the obvious: Hamilton's really god damn proud of his son already, he loves him so dearly and it shows. He already calls him handsome, says he'll be great at anything but dancing and that he's intelligent.

+ Around this time I've heard that Hamilton said something about Philip Hamilton being ' attended with all the omens of future greatness' however I've never seen any picture of a letter that has this sentence in it? I've only heard of this through Tumblr so whether this is an actual quote from Hamilton or something made up is a mystery, if anyone actually has a link to a photo of the original letter or just proof that this was in fact written that'd be great. I've also heard of Hamilton rocking young Philip's cradle for very long periods of time (perhaps this idea came from the Mchenry letter?), yet again I've never seen or read anything that confirms this as true. The next mention of Philip Hamilton I could find in a letter is from Hamiltom to his wife, Betsy.

'My beloved Betsey the fifth day after we set out, the three first days with every favourable circumstance but the two last through very bad weather. I am however as well as I can be absent from you and my darling boy—nor was I ever more impatient to be at home. I can have little pleasure elsewhere.'

The darling boy that Hamilton refers to here is Philip Hamilton, this letter is undated but as founders.archives.gov points out, there is no mention of Hamilton's second oldest child, Angelica, Hamilton cared a lot about all of his kids so mentioning his son but not his infant daughter would be weird unless he hadn't had Angie so this trip would have to have been somewhere in the two years in between when Philip was born and when Angelica was born.

The next letter we have that mentions him is also undated:

'Give my love to my darling Philip & kiss with all possible tenderness the other two. Adieu my dearest angel. Heaven bless you'

His name appears as just a sweet little ending to a letter his father wrote to his mother sometime between May 1786 and April 1788 these dates are once again based on the number of children mentioned in the letter (3) and the time his next child was born. This bit of information is so short I debated even putting it in here but I said all facts about young Philip Hamilton's life and that means all (except for stuff about his death, that seems rather grim to be bringing up on his birthday)!

The next time we hear about Philip Hamilton is in a letter from 1789:

'The good Baron has more than ever rivetted himself in my affection: to observe his unaffected solicitude and see his old eyes brimful of sympathy had something in it that won my whole soul and filled me with more than usual complacency for human nature.'

The letter's about when Philip's aunt Angelica left to go back to London after a trip to America (I think). The only part of this letter that relates to little Philip Hamilton is this little snippet which we can guess is about Philip because earlier in the letter Hamilton refers to him as 'The Baron little Philip'. I thought this sentence was cute because in modern language it's just 'I love my 7 year old son so much, his big ol eyes make me have more hope in humanity :D' It is a little strange that none of Hamilton's other kids are mentioned in this letter though, he had 4 at the time it was written (perhaps I skipped over part of it? Who knows).

Up until this point Philip's been too young and whatnot to go to a boarding school so everything we know about him comes from his father absolutely adoring him but we've gotten to 1791, the year Philip started going to school! And we know he started school in late 1791 because a man who lived in Trenton, where Philip's school was on the 26th of November, 1791, wrote: 'Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton came to town last night they have brought their son to put to boarding school to our Episcopal Church Parson'

I received with great pleasure My Dear Philip the letter which you wrote me last week. Your Mama and myself were very happy to learn that you are pleased with your situation and content to stay as long as shall be thought for your good. We hope and believe that nothing will happen to alter this disposition.

Unfortunately, the letter from Philip that Hamilton's talking about hasn't been found so we can't learn more about his personality from that. But we can tell what it was - at least partially - about, Philip being content with his boarding school.

Your Master also informs me that you recited a lesson the first day you began, very much to his satisfaction. I expect every letter from him will give me a fresh proof of your progress. For I know that you can do a great deal, if you please, and I am sure you have too much spirit not to exert yourself, that you may make us every day more and more proud of you.

This part of the letter shows us how much Hamilton cared about Philip's schooling. He had high expectations for all of his children, wishing them to be the best they could possibly be so he paid a lot of attention to how his kids were doing academically and made sure they did well (The strict study regimens come later on). The 'Master' Hamilton mentions here is William Frazer, a clergyman and episcopal rector. The rest of the letter is just Hamilton asking his son whether he can wait until the upcoming Christmas holidays to go home or if he still wants to be picked up on the next Saturday. The letter was written on the 5th of December 1791 in Philadelphia while Hamilton was working on his 'Report on Manufactures'.

The next bit we have on Philip Hamilton is a letter from Philip himself and the only letter he wrote that we still have today. The letter was written on the 21st of April, 1797, Philip would have been 15 years old and he'd started going to King's college, the same school his father attended two decades before him and his younger brother Alexander Hamilton Jr. started going to the Boarding school at Trenton that his older brother had been to. The letter Philip wrote goes like this:

'Dear Papa:

I just now received the enclosed letter from grandpapa, in answer to a letter I wrote to him, in which he has enclosed to me three receipts for shares in the Tontine Tavern, amounting to £100. I have given the receipts to mama.

I delivered my speech to Dr. Johnson to examine. He has no objection to my speaking; but he has blotted out that sentence which appears to be the best and most animated in it; which is, you may recollect it

“Americans, you have fought the battles of mankind; you have enkindled that sacred fire of freedom which is now,” &c. Dear Papa, will you be so good as to give my thanks to grandpapa for the present he made me, but above all for the good advice his letter contains—which I am very sensible of its being extremely necessary for me to pay particular attention to in order to be a good man. I remain your most affectionate son

P.S. You will oblige me very much by sending back the letter I have enclosed to you.'

It's a nice, short letter about Philip's time at King's College and a present and letter of advice Philip received from his grandpa. When he writes about his favourite sentence in his speech being blotted out by Dr. Johnson (presumably a teacher), he doesn't read as angry, just confused. This gives me the idea that he's alright with change, another thing that supports this idea is how quickly he adjusted to his boarding school which we know about from Hamilton's letter to him in 1791.

Sometime later that same year, Philip fell dreadfully ill with a horrible fever, it's said that his father paid for all kinds of doses of medicine and hired several of the best doctors to help him recover.

Hamilton as a father was very over-protective this could've come from his fear of abandonment that he had since he was a child or just because he cared about his kids so much and didn't want anything bad to happen to them, some combination of these two or even something else entirely. But because he was so over-protective he coulf be a bit of a control-freak at times (here's when the crazy study regimens come into place) here's Hamilton's

'Rules for Mr Philip Hamilton from the first of April to the first of October he is to rise not later than Six Oclock—The rest of the year not later than Seven. If Earlier he will deserve commendation. Ten will be his hour of going to bed throughout the year. From the time he is dressed in the morning till nine o clock (the time for breakfast Excepted) he is to read Law. At nine he goes to the office & continues there till dinner time—he will be occupied partly in the writing and partly in reading law. After Dinner he reads law at home till five O clock. From this hour till Seven he disposes of his time as he pleases. From Seven to ten he reads and Studies what ever he pleases. From twelve on Saturday he is at Liberty to amuse himself. On Sunday he will attend the morning Church. The rest of the day may be applied to innocent recreations. He must not Depart from any of these rules without my permission.'

We don't know when this letter was written outside of it being written in 1800 and that's pretty vague, we also don't know who this was sent to. I assume Hamilton must have given it to either Philip or one of his Masters in person because the letter isn't addressed to anyone. The routine described in this letter is very, very similar to Hamilton's routine from when he was a student, perhaps he didn't realise how strict this routine was?

Anyway Philip decided to go to Boston and passed through Providence, Rhode Island on his own and his father needed people to look after his boy because like I mentioned before, he was a bit of a control freak and a bit over-protective. Hamilton sent this letter to Jeremiah Olney, the Collector of Customs of Providence:

'As my eldest son Philip, who lately graduated, will pass through Providence on his way to Boston, I give him this line barely to introduce him to you; since the time I have prescribed for his return will not permit the stay of more than a day at Providence.

Yrs. with true regard

A Hamilton'

From this letter we can tell that Hamilton wanted his son back QUICK, the only other thing it does is reaffirm things about Hamilton as a father like that he wants his children to be near him and doesn't like them to be away and he always needs to have an eye on them. Sadly, (for Hamilton) his son went on another trip the next year to Philadelphia. During this trip Philip saw Benjamin Rush and according to Benjamin Rush, Philip was very pleasant:

'His visits to us were daily, and after each of them he left us with fresh impressions of the correctness of his understanding and manners, and of the goodness of his disposition. To One of my Children he has endeared himself by an Act of friendship & benevolence that did great honor to his heart, and will be rememb[e]red with gratitude by Mrs. Rush, and myself as long as we live. My Son has preserved a record of it in an elegant and friendly letter which he received from him After his return to New York.'

(I am once again annoyed that a letter from Philip is mentioned but said letter has been lost to time) But after Philip's death his parents received a letter about an unpaid tavern bill from Charles W. Hare:

“I have paid 20 Dlls 67 to the keeper of the city tavern on account of your son’s bill and have taken a receipt in full. I enquired for other bills, but could not find any, and I believe he owed nothing more.”

20 dollars and 67 cents in 18th Century American currency translates to about 503 dollars in modern day USD. 19 year old Philip spent 503 dollars on booze 😀

Because there was not much written about Philip we don't know about his dynamic with everyone in his family, but we know he looked up to his father and was really close to his sister, Angelica Hamilton, who was only 2 years younger than him. We also know that his namesake, Philip Schuyler was very proud of him from this letter about Philip's graduation, written on the 25th of August, 1800:

'I rejoice My Dear Son that My Philip has Acquited himself so well, and hope that his future progress may correspond with Your & My wishes.'

Robert Troup's - Hamilton's college roomate - writing on Philip is particularly funny as in one letter he writes:

'was very promising in genius and acquirements, and Hamilton formed high expectations of his future greatness!'

whereas in a private letter he states:

'alas Philip is a sad rake and I have serious doubts whether he would ever be an honour to his family or his country'

From all of this we can conclude that Philip as a person was intelligent, charming and polite but a tad immature with liquor and a little mischevious though his father viewed his mischief warmly in a fond 'oh you cheeky little rascal!' kind of way as we see with this letter to Eliza, written on the 25th of October, 1801:

'I am anxious to hear from Philip. Naughty young man. But you must permit nothing to trouble you and regain your precious health.'

With all that said, I wish the naughty little lad a happy birthday! :)

[for-valour]

sorry for the following solemn question, was there any story the day bertie died? the only one i that i know is that lilibet didn't know until hours later when philip broke the news to her because they were in kenya. what about queen mary, queen mum, and margaret? this come to my mind after watching https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHXla__FEiY the way the queen mum actress runs while crying his name just broke my heart.

Thanks for your question - and really sorry it took me ages to get back to you 😣. I've written a little bit about how Margot, May and Elizabeth were all affected by Bertie's death, and I hope I'm answering this correctly!

Princess Margaret Princess Margaret was at Sandringham when her father died. She recalled hearing him laugh 'heartily at a joke he had just heard' and then go happily to bed at 10:30pm. When she learned of his passing in the morning, she was absolutely distraught. It is said that she was even prescribed sedatives to help her sleep at night, and Christopher Warwick wrote (in his 2017 biography, Princess Margaret: A Life of Contrasts) that she would frequently weep and cry out, 'Why did he have to die so young?'

A couple of months after Bertie’s death, Margaret wrote to a family friend, 'He was such a wonderful person, the very heart and centre of our happy family. Everything seemed to come from him and no-one could have had a more devoted and thoughtful father. He was always so very much alive so that at this lovely Easter time he doesn’t feel so very far away and one is comforted by all thoughts of happiness for him and his love for us all.' Even the fact that Margaret’s own funeral was held on the 50th anniversary of Bertie's death also shows just how close she held her father in her heart - right until the very end.

The Queen Mother When The Queen Mother was praised for her courage in getting through her husband’s funeral without crying, she replied: 'Not in private.' In fact, she was so heartbroken after his death that she travelled all the way to Caithness in Scotland to be allowed to mourn alone (I've actually been there and it is *very* remote). This was also the time when she discovered Castle Mey, which she bought to escape to ‘occasionally when life becomes hideous’ - which I imagine was linked to those dark days when she felt the loss of Bertie all over again.

She said in a letter to Queen Mary: 'I flew to his room and thought he was in a deep sleep, he looked so peaceful — and then I realised what had happened.' She also further confided in her mother-in-law, 'I know that you loved Bertie dearly, and he was my whole life, and one can only be deeply thankful for the utterly happy years we had together. He was so wonderfully thoughtful and loving, and I don’t believe he ever thought of himself at all… I cannot bear to think of Lilibet, so young to bear such a burden — I do feel for you so darling Mama — to lose two dear sons, and Bertie still so young and so precious — it is almost more than one can bear…'

Queen Mary Having already lost two sons (Prince John at the age of 13, and Prince George in an RAF plane crash just before his 40th birthday), the death of a third child, her beloved Bertie whom she was so close to and so proud of, deeply traumatised her. Queen Mary said to Princess Marie Louise: 'I have lost three sons through death, but I have never been privileged to be there to say a last farewell to them.' Mary herself also remarked that she spent a lot of time talking to her daughter-in-law (the grieving Queen Mother) 'of much that was in our poor tattered hearts.'

Queen Mary’s health was already struggling in the early 1950s, and it wouldn't be surprising that she suffered further after King George VI's death. The sombre photograph of her, Queen Elizabeth and The Queen Mother in mourning dress was taken whilst they were stood at King’s Cross Station in London, awaiting the arrival of Bertie’s coffin from Sandringham for the ‘Lying-in-State' at Westminster Hall. Contrary to popular belief it was not taken on the day of the funeral itself, which she was too unwell (and perhaps too distressed?) to attend.

Sources: Princess Margaret: A Life of Contrasts, by Christopher Warwick. The Queen Mother: The Official Biography, by William Shawcross. Photos: Getty, National Portrait Gallery.

[biffhofosho]

Prisoner to Temptation | Chapter One

Fandoms: Monsta X

Genre: Royal AU, Romance, 19th Century period piece

Pairing: Hyungwon x OC

Chapter Word Count: 9.4k

Tropes: Arranged marriage, strangers to spouses to lovers

The Vibe: Lonely prince meets reluctant princess, the typical royal intrigue, period-appropriate writing style, beautiful costumes and lavish historical settings, friends with benefits-adjacent (though it’s more like royals with obligations), slow burn but also loads and loads of smut (like, I mean it, a lot lol) of every kind in between because arranged marriage, jealousy, angst, misunderstandings, confused feelings, falling in love with your husband, HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE FAIRYTALE DAMNIT

Synopsis: Naran has never fit the mold of a princess. She’s brash, disinterested, and nomadic at heart. It is only unlucky circumstance that has cast her as the sole hope of the Moghulikhan empire. With no brothers to secure the realm’s lineage, shaky borders ringing them from all sides, and a sister too young to understand any of that, peace only seems possible through an alliance, but that hasn’t stopped Naran from scheming up a way out. That is, until a handsome prince charming makes her an offer she simply can’t ignore.

A/N: First things first, happy birthday to my beloved Hyungwon. He’s too special and good for this world. He’s a living muse, and watching him work constantly inspires me (in ways it definitely shouldn’t lol). 

Anyway, I just cobbled this AU together out of lots of bits and bobs because I can. Really went for a style of writing and dialogue that you might find in your Jane Austens or Emily Brontës, so this may or may not be for you.

Let’s set it somewhere in the early 1800s though I took a lot of liberties with bygone kingdoms (all real at one point or another, though that doesn’t mean this is historically or geographically accurate—I’m just fucking around). In this universe, western and eastern cultures mingle freely. You’ll get the drift. I mean, I’m here for the romance, but I’m also a slut for worldbuilding. Please join me, your resident lost cause, on this time-traveling, bodice-ripping adventure.

Cvr | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12

Naran felt her head drooping with every second that passed with the Viscount LaCroix. At least she’d been trained well enough to blame it on the stuffiness of the hall or the port she’d just downed, but it was becoming clearer by the second that she needed an escape or she was liable to outright fall asleep standing up, and the last thing she needed was to fall into the red-cheeked buffoon’s arms and have him convinced he’d found his fourth wife.

Desperate, Naran scoped out the ballroom looking for a friend to save her, but servants weren’t allowed in except the wait staff and neither were commoners. Even her sister was too young to attend this meat market, for that was what this was—an excuse to haggle wares, only the wares were noble sons and daughters.

At last, her eyes fell on her mother, who was already scowling at her. That scowl only deepened as Naran turned to the old man next to her and bowed lightly.

“Excuse me, your grace, I see my mother is calling for me. Thank you for the… discourse.”

She should have added “delightful" or some other outwardly false adjective in front of the last word, but Naran wasn’t in the mood to play ballroom politics—not that she ever was.

On the way across the room, she snatched another wine from a waiter and downed it, wishing it was kumis instead. She found her mother, Queen Jigme, crouching like a snow leopard in the corner, cunning eyes always vigilant for prey, only now they were narrowed on a very different obstacle.

Though the princess was taller and slighter, more often than not, she was bent from boredom (a trait her father always said made her more grassland reed than girl), and the queen could loom over her with just a few words.

"That was very rude to leave the Viscount hanging like that, child of mine,” the silver-haired woman scolded from behind her own wine glass.

“Wouldn’t it have been ruder to die of tedium in his presence?” Naran challenged without bothering to keep her own voice down. There was no one else in this corner of the ballroom anyway.

"You know, I knew you were going to be the trial of my life when I almost didn’t survive your labor, and here you are, nearly bringing me to my death again. Your grandfather threw this ball in your honor, I’ll remind you.”

Naran rolled her eyes. “Like I could forget. I only heard it every time the carriage hit a pothole the entire fortnight it took to get here.”

“Yes, well, it took many other guests here just as long or longer to arrive, so I won’t hear any more of your complaining.”

“Mother, it’s not like they came here for me. Deda may have told you this ball was for my benefit, but that’s certainly not what he told all these poor royals.”

Her mother pursed her lips, the wrinkles from the many years of sparring with her daughter etched into her face. “It may not have been on the invitations, but none of these people are fools.”

Naran rolled her eyes again toward the Viscount, and her mother smiled before her well-weathered purse returned.

“Very well, most of them aren’t,” the older woman continued. “They have traveled from all across the continent with the express purpose of sizing up rival empires and aligning themselves with ones that are worthy or tactically advantageous. We are here to do the same, Narangerel. Why do you think I married your father, hm? If it weren’t for your grandfather’s meticulous planning, you wouldn’t be here. No one senses an alliance like he does.”

Dread prickled up Naran’s spine the same way sweat did. “Please tell me not the Viscount…”

“Of course not. The First Princess of Moghulikhan should set her sights on someone of far greater importance than a middling pseudo-royal from Limoges.”

“Mother, we’ve been over this—”

“And we’ll go over it as many times as we need to until you understand your role in protecting our kingdom. We are cunning and strategic, Naran. We are survivors. This is how Moghulikhan has endured for centuries.”

“Off the backs of saleable daughters.”

Queen Jigme glared at her. “You are very tiresome, young lady, but do not think you can break my will with tacky jokes and passive aggression. I know what you’re doing because I’ve done it all myself.”

Her mother meant it as a warning, but it came across as one of an entirely different kind.

If her mother was once as free-spirited as Naran fancied herself, then there was no outrunning her fate. She would marry, and she would do it for country, not for herself.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” grumbled Naran.

“In body, maybe. The spirit must be coaxed,” the queen volleyed back.

Or broken, Naran thought bitterly as she took another long draft of wine.

The women stood side-by-side for a while, appraising the room. There were lots of marriageable prospects among the crowd—the princess’s grandfather had seen to it—but most were decades too old or so feeble that they spent most of the night observing their options from their chairs. On the other hand, there were some so young that Naran suspected their governesses or caretakers were lurking just outside the hall.

Her future was dimming by the second.

“Come now,” added her mother, “it’s not so bad as all that. I did let you wear your deel instead of a Western dress, a decision I am regretting now that I see you’re the only one in a costume of your homeland.”

“Shouldn’t that please you? I stand out.”

“Yes, though I think it remarks more on your stubbornness than anything else. Even those from Goryeo went Western traditional.”

Naran sighed.

“What about Prince Hyungwon?” Queen Jigme continued with a sly voice that betrayed her.

The princess narrowed her eyes at her mother. “What about him?”

“No matter which way you look at it, he's a better prospect for you than anybody here.”

Against her will, Naran’s eyes slid across the lavishly appointed ballroom to the tall, thin man with long charcoal hair, a beardless face, and an inscrutable expression. There was an air in his posture that made him look richer than anyone else in the room, though part of that no doubt came with the fact that his empire was certainly one of the largest. In reality, though, it was down to the way he wore his suit—jacket unbuttoned, dress shirt open two buttons too deep just the same as his cuffs, and cravat unspooled like he was heading to bed at any moment. None of these other stuffed-shirts would dare to look so relaxed.

Not that she was paying attention of course…

“What on earth would possess you to say that?” the princess snapped to her mother as she polished off her port.

“He’s certainly the handsomest man out there,” observed the queen.

“Oh, and he knows it.”

Again, since Naran definitely hadn’t been watching him all night, she hadn’t picked up on the way the prince chatted with every pretty girl in his vicinity... And she definitely hadn't studied the way his face collapsed into perfect apathy the moment he was ready to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving a string of bereft royals in his wake.

“To say nothing of the fact that his kingdom abuts ours,” the queen continued. “We’re already neighbors.”

“Oh, so he’s obligated to choose Moghulikhan just because we share part of a border? Our lands may be vast, Mother, but half of them are empty desert. We’re not resource-rich like Chalukya or Lotharingia nor do we have the breadth of their armies. Why on earth would Prince Hyungwon ever marry me over Princess Bhataki or Princess Flavia when their empires are twice as wealthy and neither of them openly balks at Court obligations? He won't have to settle for anything less than exactly what he wants. It's not like he has a clock ticking.”

“Sometimes I wonder about you,” Jigme said with a gentle shake of her head. “Clearly, I’ve indulged you far too much. You know nothing of politics, Narangerel. Prince Hyungwon may be a man, but he's also the last of his line. With no other heirs, he will need to provide some for his throne lest he throw his realm into chaos.”

“That may be, but unlike us,” the princess objected, “he can have children at any age.”

“My darling child, a throne may sit on solid ground, but it can be overturned at any moment. With no other heirs behind him, his family line is less and less secure every day. The Chae lineage may be storied, but people will talk. They already are talking. The longer Goryeo hesitates on forging a match, the closer things march toward open season on its reign. Nothing is secure in this life, dear, least of all power.”

“So, what? The prince is here tonight to find a bride?”

“Well, he certainly didn’t travel twice as far as we did for just for caviar.”

Naran glared at her mother, but as annoyed as she was, she couldn’t keep her eyes on her now that her interest had been reluctantly piqued. It had nothing to do with the prince’s looks, of course, but intrigue was intrigue, she told herself. It was only natural.

Prince Hyungwon did not look back. He was too busy feigning attention to the Countess de Bourgh, who was prattling on about her new summer villa, no doubt, as she had to any poor fool who had crossed her path that night. But when Naran could convince her eyes to finally stray from his button mushroom nose and jutting, plump upper lip, she found someone else who seemed to have just as much interest in the young prince’s company as she did.

Seated at the most prominent table in the center of the room was the Emperor of Goryeo himself, the prince’s father, Emperor Gongmin. He was a much smaller man than his son, with a round, flat face and perceptive eyes. It was clear the prince favored his mother’s elegant looks as well as her attention span, as she was lost in her wine glass while the Empress of Wu yammered on beside her.

Queen Jigme smiled and said shrewdly, “You see now, don't you?”

Naran shrugged a shoulder. “They seem like they're having a nice time.”

“Perhaps the empress is enjoying herself, but you know the emperor hasn't eaten so much of a grain of rice tonight. He has eyes on everything.”

“Very well, Mother, I will play your silly games. On whom does the emperor have eyes?”

“I would say there are two frontrunners. The Princess of Champa and the Princess of Dai Viet. Princess Binh is plenty young enough to bear many heirs and from to an exotic kingdom without an heir apparent while Princess Tham is newly widowed, still young, and has only borne two daughters. The Fates would say she is due for a boy. And I have heard the Dai Viet palace is covered in gold while their mountains are said to be filled with precious stones. It would be a good alliance to make.”

“I suppose either one would make a suitable match if it weren't for one problem,” Naran said with an eyebrow raised.

“Oh, and what is that?”

“The prince isn’t interested in either one of them.”

The queen hummed. “What makes you say that, my sun?”

“Princess Binh is far too talkative and he cares little for conversation, and Princess Tham flatters him far too much. It makes him uncomfortable.”

The corner of the queen’s mouth twitched. “Does it now?”

“Not that I've been watching,” Naran added. “It’s just what I’ve heard other guests saying over their wine goblets.”

“Hm. Well, in the end, we both know that doesn't matter, does it, my child? The prince will marry whomever the emperor tells him to marry.”

“I suppose you're right about that, as you’ve been right about nearly everything tonight.”

Queen Jigme nodded, an odd light illuminating the dark wells of her eyes. “How pleased I am to hear you say that because I should like to return to the discussion about the third and best option for the prince’s marriage.”

There was a long pause as understanding simmered between mother and daughter, and slowly, a red aura crept above the collar of Naran’s deel.

“Mother, you cannot be serious!” she snapped, loud enough that a few other nearby royals glanced their way.

The queen hushed her daughter with a pinch to her side and a heavy sneer. Despite the Court decorum her mother otherwise fought to uphold, she gripped both of the princess’s arms and squared her daughter to face her. Jigme’s voice was low but firm as she said, “Naran, this is our one chance at protection from Goryeo’s might. Especially with your father still ill, we are doomed without this union.”

The princess tried to shake the older woman’s grip, but it was relentless. Though she tried to sound cavalier, Naran’s voice wavered as she said, “You’re being dramatic again, Mother.”

“Hardly. Goryeo has been overthrowing kingdom after kingdom. Perhaps you’re too young to remember Ladakh, but no doubt you learned about it in your schooling.”

“I did.”

“So you know what happened to them, to my people,” said the queen. Her voice was clipped and her eyes were tight. “Goryeo took them over in a week. A week, Naran. And they were Moghulikhan’s direct neighbor, the only kingdom left between Goryeo’s might and ours. Now that our lands share a border, I’m sure it won’t be long before that irks Emperor Gongmin. Moghulikhan might be large, but as you pointed out, we don’t have the population Goryeo does. It’s been but thirty years since that takeover, and no doubt the Emperor's hunger for power and country has only amplified.

“Still, he’s a tactician at heart. He knows our army might not be as large as his, but we are fierce and brutal, and our kingdom is like four in one. It would be devastating to the unfamiliar army once they hit, say, the Gobi. But that need never come to pass if our kingdoms unite peacefully.”

The princess rolled her whole head with her eyes. “And I’m supposed to fix that how?”

“Don’t be obtuse, Narangerel. You were raised in a court. You know that alliances are the only way to secure one’s self and one’s vassals, and there’s no alliance stronger than a blood alliance. If Prince Hyungwon selects you as his princess before other arrangements are made, then there’s nothing to worry about any longer. No one would dare trifle with our kingdom with the strength of Goryeo behind us.”

“You’ve just described the worst kind of bully. Why on earth would I want to marry someone like that for all the good looks in the realms? Do you know your daughter at all?”

Jigme rubbed the princess’s arms before she squeezed Naran’s hands. “Indeed, I do, my love. You think I would propose Saran to such a family? Your sister could never conquer them. She’s too sweet and gentle. She’d be swallowed up. But you, my sun, my strength… You have the wit and the courage and the cleverness to make men fear you.”

“So why don’t I just make them so afraid of me they leave us alone entirely?”

“And there’s the wit. Naran, you must learn to look beyond what your eyes can observe the way you trust Altantsetseg on the steppe. Let me be your eagle in this hunt, my love. I know the battlefields better than you do; I’ve lived my entire life on them. Emperor Gongmin may be a shrewd monarch, but Prince Hyungwon is malleable. He is his own man, a man who will one day be king. In the right hands, he will be merciful and kind. In the wrong ones, he will be a foolish puppet. What would you have, child?”

“I would have you talk sense,” Naran quipped. “Through a twist of fate, I may have been born into this world, but it is not my world, Mother. I could never be ‘the right hands.’ I care nothing for the games of idle men. I care only for an open sky and a wind-swept bluff.”

Jigme looked softly at her daughter. She brushed a stray tendril of mahogany hair behind the princess’s ear and said, “Be that as it may, the choice is not yours to make. You will make your way to the prince, and you will introduce yourself with a smile. Once he sees that, everything will fall into place, I’m sure of it. You are very beautiful tonight, my daughter, as always, and never more so when you offer up one of those rare smiles.”

“And what happens when he ignores me as he has every other woman tonight? What of all your schemes?”

The older woman quirked one of her silver brows. “That is an outcome I cannot accept. I am confident I have read the omens right.”

“Mother—”

“Shall I make the introduction?”

“Don’t bother. It will be over before you finish it. Let me embarrass myself alone.”

It went against tradition, but the queen knew better than to argue when she’d already won. “Go now, Naran. The prince is waiting for you.”

With that, Queen Jigme plucked the wine glass from her daughter’s hand and folded back into the ring of elder monarchs surveying the hall from stations along murals of bygone conquests. Even in the perfect silence of the vast grasslands, Naran had never felt so alone.

She was stunned to the point of paralysis. There it was, her future laid out with horrifying clarity. She was expected to pair up and breed like a mare only with far less freedom. It didn’t matter if the stud they’d chosen for her was significantly younger and more agreeable-looking than the rest of the stable—the fences were closing in all around her until, slowly but surely, she would be broken.

From his vantage point across the room at one of the many white-clothed tables, Naran’s grandfather smiled at her as though it was all going according to plan. As if to underscore this, his eyes slid further down the dance floor to the corner, where Chae Hyungwon, Crown Prince of the Goryeo Empire, watched the ruby port inside his goblet twirl like a skirt.

Naran was trembling. She’d faced off with packs of wolves the same as packs of thieves and lived through them, and while the rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins was identical, the anxiety swelling her throat was something new, something she’d never felt before.

With a heavy breath, she shuffled inelegantly in her kitten heels across the ballroom floor and tried to call forth her eagle’s fearless spirit.

“Give me strength, Altantsetseg,” she whispered, and she swore she felt the beat of its wings in her gut.

The prince had his back to Naran, which was a thousand times more terrifying than if he’d seen her coming, for now she had to beg for his attention, and the princess hadn’t begged for a thing since she’d been a petulant runt at their chef’s knees, whining for treats after a day out in the grasslands. This was as far as she could get from such whimsies.

Though Naran was tall for a woman, taller even than many of the men here tonight, Hyungwon was a whole head taller than she. His jacket strained against shoulders so broad, they looked like they could rival her eagle’s wingspan, and again, she felt that unusual flutter inside her. The princess had to remind herself quickly that she was in charge of her fate, not her mother and not some handsome stranger who embodied everything she hated about Court.

Naran cleared her throat, but the prince did not turn. She had to get this over with quickly, like landing the mercy blow to wild game, and the simplicity and familiarity of the image spurred her tongue to action. She defaulted to English as she had all night, but if Prince Hyungwon didn’t speak it, all the better. Since she didn’t know a word of his language, she could be gone with a cordial bow and her duty would end.

“It appears I may be the only lady in this ballroom with whom you have not spoken tonight, my lord.”

Prince Hyungwon turned on his heel, and the air rushed out of her lungs. This close, he was arresting. Gone was the aloof gaze he had sported much of the night, replaced instead by keen eyes the color of roasted pine nuts that were just as warm and comforting. The baubles of his cheeks were high with a half-smile, and for a second, Naran thought she was the only person in the room with him.

“Are you jealous?” he said in perfect English and an unexpected flavor of cockiness, and that, more than anything, returned her senses to her.

“Hardly,” the princess retorted. “But others expect an interaction, so I’m obliged to give one for show.”

Hyungwon recoiled, genuine horror in his eyes. “I’m sorry, my lady. I fear the wine has loosened my lips. I meant no offense.”

“And I take none, sire. I am merely telling you that I am here as an emissary of my mother, Queen Consort of the Kingdom of Moghulikhan. She bade me greet you on behalf of our country. I am Princess Narangerel.”

Naran bowed, which Hyungwon echoed with one of his own, and when he came back up, his ears were pink and his grin was sheepish.

“It seems I have not made as good of an impression on the princess as I have on the queen. Will you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, my lord.”

Hyungwon cocked his head to the side as he studied her. “Really? Because it seems like you’re already looking for a way out of this conversation.”

“Don’t take it personally. I look for a way out of most conversations.”

“Perhaps I should though,” he persisted. “You conversed with the Viscount LaCroix for quite a while.”

Naran’s jaw dropped. He’d noticed that?

“It wasn’t for lack of trying, my lord, I assure you.”

Hyungwon smirked. “Very well then. I am satisfied.”

“I’m so pleased,” she deadpanned before she could stop herself. Thankfully, instead of affronted, the prince looked surprised with the vaguest hint of amusement. As far as torture went, things could have been much worse.

And then they were.

Out of the corner of her eye, Naran caught her mother, who only ever had clear vision when it came to her daughters and what they weren’t doing, edging discreetly closer. Panic set in. If the queen overheard any of this absurd and impolite conversation, she would be mortified and the princess would probably be permanently chaperoned. Who knew what untold horrors would be foisted on her? A shiver ran through Naran at the thought of all the potential obligations she couldn’t escape, and before the bile could rise in her throat, she doubled down on the lesser of two evils.

“Just go along with this, my lord, and everything will be over faster, yes?” she whispered to a very confused prince before she proclaimed much louder, “How handsome His Highness looks this evening! And how well you converse! I’ve never seen such happy manners on a prince before.”

Hyungwon blinked. “What on earth are you—”

Still louder, Naran said, “Your kingdom is very lucky to have such a genial lord at its helm. I see your long travels haven’t fatigued you at all. I trust the palace is to your liking?”

The prince was stunned into silence for a moment before those full lips tightened. “Listen, my lady, I’m not in the mood for—”

“Oh, shut up, and just agree with anything I said, so we can move on,” she hissed.

“Wait, you don’t want to be here?”

“Of course not. And neither do you. Thanks to that scowl, I could tell that from across the ballroom.”

“I thought this sort of thing is what all maidens wanted?”

“‘Maidens,’ huh? Please. To be paraded like ponies at auction in hopes of a high bid? I think not. And what of the other twenty maidens who go home with disappointed hopes of proving valuable to families that only care for their male heirs? We maidens must sit in our rooms wondering what we did wrong and how we could have done better because if we’re not bearing heirs, then we’re just a waste of resources, aren’t we? So tell me again how odious this party is for you—and how elegant your suit looks, my prince! Did you have it custom-tailored or is it a family heirloom?” Naran’s voice switched into a strained soprano as she caught her mother leaning in closer.

Hyungwon stared at the princess in utter confusion, and exasperation was setting in. As low and as sharply as she could manage, she grumbled, "Say something, please."

His eyes flicked to Queen Jigme only to find his father now beside the gray-haired woman, and, at last, he nodded. “Ah, um, yes, it was tailored just for tonight. I’m glad it is to your liking, my lady.”

“Oh, thank God,” the princess mumbled. If she could have wiped her brow, she would have.

“Would you like to dance, Princess Narangerel?”

What! No, no, no!

Her heart was in her throat and her eyes zipped back and forth for a way out though there was none. Hyungwon’s offer had been overheard by the ears that mattered most, and there was no way to refute him without the greatest offense.

“I guess I have to say yes now,” she answered quietly enough that the prince could hear her and her mother could not.

Hyungwon blinked his big brown eyes before he narrowed them. “Did I misunderstand something? That wasn’t what you wanted?”

“No! Now they’ll think you have some sort of interest in me. You haven’t asked anyone else to dance all night. You must fix this, sire.”

“And how am I to do that?”

Naran growled. “Have you never been to a ball before? And my mother thinks I’m clueless! Obviously, you’ll have to ask a few other ladies to dance to throw them off the scent or we’ll be associated with one another from here on out. Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Hyungwon admitted, the pinkness back on his ears. “You have me completely bewildered, my lady. All I wanted was to retire to my room for the night.”

“Well, now you can’t. We must dance and you must then dance with others. There’s no getting around it. How can you know so little of Court when you are prince of one of the realms’ greatest empires? Honestly, who raised you?”

Gone were any pretenses for civility, and Naran knew she had overstepped about a hundred rules of polite society, but she was feeling anything but polite.

Unlike her carelessness, the prince raised his glass to his lips, took a long drink, and said coolly, “You’re awfully brash for a woman.”

“And you’re precisely as thick for a man. Now, walk me to the dance floor so we can get this over with.”

The prince offered his hand, and Naran took it because she had no choice. Even so, she jolted at the feel of his hot skin under hers. His hands were smooth and babied and perhaps had never seen a day’s labor, where hers were rough and calloused from handling a bow and knives. She wished she’d worn gloves as her mother had urged.

Together, they waited at the edge of the dance floor alongside a dozen other couples, some married, some courting, but all staring at the unlikely pair. Naran held her head high and straight and tried not to collapse under the weight of so much perception. Neither said a word to the other as they waited awkwardly, hand-in-hand for want of any other option, while the previous dance concluded. The moment it did, Prince Hyungwon gestured for her to take to the floor, and they parted, her hand throbbing as she buried it in the folds of her skirt to dry it off.

Naran didn’t dare look back to her mother, especially knowing the Emperor of Goryeo waited right by her side. She focused, instead, on the billowing folds of the prince’s shirt and the flashes of his glossy chest that peeked through when the tie at his collar pulled taut.

As the orchestra reset for the next dance, the room fell silent save for a babble of whispers as rhythmic as the wind through the reeds. Her grandfather’s ballroom was large and magnificent, yet Naran felt the walls closing in around her, especially when she spied the old man’s sun-beaten, smiling face leaving the conductor’s side.

At last, the music swelled, and much to her horror, she recognized it as a waltz. Naran wasn’t good at the waltz. It had come over from the West, and she had only practiced it a few times before tonight at her grandfather’s behest in the hopes she might impress a Western lord. She didn’t expect it to be familiar to Prince Hyungwon either, but if he was uncomfortable, he masked it well.

She took the first steps toward her partner as he met her half-way. His hand opened, and hers filled it again as required. They met and parted a few times to the gentle melody before joining more permanently side-by-side for the next few bars. Once she’d gotten the flow down well enough that she could keep her feet under her without constant coaxing, the princess’s painful awareness of her predicament returned to her.

“Curse him,” Naran whispered under her breath, but since the prince was at her side, he caught her words.

“Are you cursing me?”

“Soon enough, no doubt,” she said boldly, but he didn’t take her bait. As they split across from each other for a series of inelegant hops that Naran had to meticulously count in her head, she grumbled, “I’m going to embarrass you, sire. I’m not very good at this.”

“You’re lovely.”

“I feel like a fish tossed on land. This is nothing like our traditional dances.”

Hyungwon hummed as his hand lifted hers aloft for her to spin under it. “What are those like?”

“Lively,” she said. “Noisy. Fun. Elegance and restraint have no place in Moghul dances. It’s a celebration, not a funeral.”

“You're a very singular woman, Princess Narangerel.”

She scoffed. “And there's yet another falsehood. There are many women like me, but few who have the luxury having of such a mouth or a mind. If you think all women long to sit at home all day nursing babies and picking out garlands for the next gala, you are well and truly misinformed, my prince, just as not all men think of conquering every surrounding kingdom to increase the size of their manhoods.”

The prince’s hand squeezed a little tighter around her shoulder before they parted for a fresh orbit around one another. “That feels like a very thinly-veiled opinion of someone I might know.”

“I have no idea what you mean, my lord. My god, will this song ever end?”

Hyungwon laughed. “It just started.”

Why wasn’t her brazenness putting him off? This was torture.

Naran growled and kept her focus hard and fast to her feet, which were supposed to be light and fluttery, but that heavy sensation stayed rooted to her stomach. “Is everybody still watching us?”

“I’m afraid so. You can look at me, too, you know,” the prince informed with a smile evident in his voice.

“It’s not a good idea,” the princess insisted. “I don’t want people to get any more of the wrong impression.”

Their toes met and then their hands as they completed the next turn in the dance.

“Which is?”

“That you’re interested in me,” she answered. Naran risked a glance up at his face and instantly regretted it. “It would be helpful if you stopped smiling, sire.”

Another turn, another kiss of their fingertips.

“I can’t help it,” Hyungwon said. “You’re the first entertaining person all night.”

“How can I convince you otherwise?”

The prince’s smile only broadened, and as soon as she caught a glimpse of it, she had no hope of looking at anything else.

“You know, I do know who you are, Princess Narangerel. Your reputation as a spirit-crusher precedes you."

"Ah, is that what they say about me? How delightful. That should be warning enough for you then, yes?”

“No.”

Naran scowled. “Then would you like to know your reputation, my prince?”

“I doubt I’ll like it as much as you like yours.”

“Oh, very true, but since I’m a spirit-crusher, I'll tell you anyway. You, sire, don’t speak until spoken to unless it’s a pretty serving lass with an ample bosom.”

Hyungwon pressed his lips together as his brow knitted. “Is that really what they say?”

“Indeed. Do you disagree with it?”

“I probably should.”

Naran smiled despite her better judgment.

“At least there’s no shortage of bosom on display for you tonight,” she added.

“Unfortunately, it comes with expectations. The serving lasses have none.”

“You’re as frank as I am, my lord.”

Hyungwon looked down at the princess, and there was a fondness in his gaze that she really didn’t trust.

“What a pair we make,” he said softly.

But what Naran lacked in decorum, she made up for with a hunter’s perceptions. Before her, Hyungwon had played the part of a respectful suitor until the amusement of the moment wore off and his true indifferent colors shown through. Granted, he had taken it up to the next level with this dance, but there was no reason to expect any other outcome. At least she could cling to that.

Hyungwon lifted his hand, and again, Naran was obliged to twirl once beneath it. The skirt of her deel flared around her ankles, stirring a breeze up her legs.

“You dance very well, Princess.”

“Your usual company is serving lasses, so I'll take that compliment with a grain of salt.”

The prince laughed, and the sound was so buoyant, her chest leapt with it. And then resentment immediately crept back in.

“I’m glad one of us is enjoying ourselves tonight.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong, you know,” Hyungwon replied. “This party is just as much torture for me as it is for you. You don’t know what it’s like to support the weight of an entire kingdom on your shoulders.”

“Shows what His Highness knows. I have no brothers, hence no heirs. I’m Moghulikan’s only hope for stability. If I do not marry well, our line could be overthrown before my sister even comes of age to do what I can not.”

“Then, you are right. I am wrong. We are in the same boat.”

Naran narrowed her eyes at him. “I appreciate your concession, my prince, but perhaps it’s time we stop looking so familiar with one another.”

“Now, that will be difficult.”

Naran cocked her head. “Why is that?”

“Because this is the part where the tempo slows.”

Just then, the music dipped and the dance shifted from arm’s length fleeting touches to a fixed hold. They lined up, hip to hip, the princess facing one way and the prince facing the other. It would have been the best outcome were it not for Hyungwon’s hand curling across her stomach around her waist in a way that hers had to mirror on him, and as he tugged their sides flush, their free hands met overhead to lock them into a pirouette.

Together, they spun like tops across the floor as the final movement wound on for what felt like eternity. Around her, faces blurred, but one thing was clear—everyone in the hall was watching them.

“I’m going to be sick,” Naran confessed.

Hyungwon held her tighter as he assured, “It’s almost over. Just look into my eyes, Princess. It will steady you.”

It did and it didn’t.

Those dark orbs stared down at her, framed by the soft pillows of his lids as he smiled lightly, and it was more dizzying than the constant spinning.

At last, the music concluded to a polite round of applause from the assembly. The other couples had separated to bow to one another, but Hyungwon still held her waist. Naran wriggled her hand free to hold her temples and slow the spinning in her brain.

None of this should have happened. It was just supposed to be a rushed introduction to get her mother off her back and the prince out of the running for Savior of Moghulikhan, yet here Naran was, breathless and antsy and side-by-side with any other princess’s dream catch.

“What do you say to another dance, please, your grace?” asked Prince Hyungwon, his hand hanging mid-air in offer.

“Out of the question,” Naran hissed, her eyes darting to the shadowy faces gawking from the sidelines.

Undeterred, he said, “Would you rather take this discussion into the hall?”

Her stomach dropped. As suggestive as it was dancing two songs back-to-back with the same partner, sneaking away was outright confirmation of an understanding or worse, an illicit relationship, and there was no way Naran could risk that, just as she couldn’t risk abandoning him slack-jawed on the dance floor for the gossipmongers and her very angry mother.

“Fine, but it ends after this. I feel like I’m suffocating.” The princess tugged at the collar of her deel, but it may as well have been a noose tightening around her throat.

The music kicked up, and once again, Naran spotted her grandfather leaving the band’s station. Instead of a rather suggestive waltz, it was a smooth and patient minuet that left far too much time for conversation in between the languid notes.

“Damn it all to hell,” Naran whispered as they circled each other. “You’ll have to dance with at least four other ladies now.”

Her partner stared back at her with a perfectly blank face. “I have no intentions of doing so.”

“Really, Prince Hyungwon, why must you be so obstinate? If you do not, then everyone will presume an understanding has been made between us, which will obligate us to marry. Is that what you really want?”

The prince shrugged. “It’s less loathsome than the thought of marrying any of these other royals.”

Shock took a backseat to outrage as Naran’s eyes bolted to his blank stare. “No, no, no, no, no. Did you ever consider that I do not wish to marry?”

“Am I that repulsive of an option?” he asked, and Naran could hear a hint of hurt in his husky voice that made even her feel a little guilty.

“My prince, it’s not a matter of marrying you. Perhaps I do not wish to marry at all. There’s no glamor in that, contrary to what the fairytales promise. It’s tedious obligation after tedious obligation, and excepting weddings and births, you’re always bound to your stupid castle. If I do not become queen, then I am free to exist as I wish. I can sleep until midday or bathe under a waterfall or stargaze on the open plain if I so desire.”

“And what if I offer you that same freedom with this marriage?”

Naran laughed. “You’re serious? Why on earth would you ever wish for a wife who cares so little for court or you?”

“Maybe because I have no wish to marry either, but as the sole heir to Goryeo, I have no choice. If I don’t decide, things will be decided for me. At least with you, I know I’d have my own freedoms.”

“But I’d still be expected to bear your heirs, sire.”

The implication was inescapable, and they both stiffened in each other’s arms.

Hyungwon nibbled on his bottom lip before he finally nodded. "There’s no getting around that, I suppose.”

“There is not.”

“I take it you never had any desire for children?”

“On the contrary,” Naran replied, “I’d love them, which is why I would never wish for the responsibilities of this life to fall on them.”

Hyungwon hung his head, laden with his own understanding. “We could raise them differently. Just as our marriage would be unconventional and without expectations, we could choose to raise any children we had as such.”

“You surprise me, my prince, and, if I’m honest, it’s more than a little tempting all things considered, but I think we both know that would be impossible. We may be at the height of our realms, but we answer to everyone instead of no one.”

Thin as he was, the prince looked heavy again under the weight of his tremendous burden.

“If I may,” Naran continued as she dipped under his hand for another twirl, “why don’t you dance with Princess Ophelia? She’s a quiet sort of girl from a robust kingdom and would likely leave you your peace while acting like a true queen when the time comes. My mother also thinks Princess Binh might be a good match for you.”

“You’ve talked about me?” Hyungwon said rather hopefully, and Naran swallowed hard. His charms were too pervasive.

“My mother did,” she corrected. “And speaking of, I should get back to her…”

Naran broke her hand from his and started toward the now-aghast Queen Jigme when the prince grabbed her wrist and jerked her back to him. She landed with an oomph in his arms, the sticks pinning up her hair clattering somewhere behind her. Her face was lost in the folds of his shirt and the smell of intoxicating oils like yuja and clove beneath it. She wondered if he’d rubbed them on his own chest or if someone else had had the duty of anointing him.

Her heart hammered though her lungs caught as she hoped against hope that she would fade into him like a shadow until no one in the room noticed her at all. But it was for nothing. The music still played, but it became background noise beneath the murmur of royal bystanders.

Suddenly, Hyungwon’s cheek was in her hair, his mouth finding her ear through her unraveling black tresses.

“Princess Narangerel, my father intends to invade Moghulikhan. Marry me and we can prevent this.”

It was just as Queen Jigme feared, and Hyungwon knew it. Naran was faced now with turning her back on her family and her entire kingdom with full knowledge and selfishness or falling in league with a handsome prince who promised to give her the life she sought anyway. It was no doubt an empty promise, but even if it were, the threat was now real. Knowing what she knew, could she really turn him down?

“Damn you,” she whispered back, her nails digging in through the thin silk of his shirt.

“Is that a yes, princess?”

“Yes,” she seethed.

“Then I will go to my father at once and arrange everything. We shall make the announcement tonight.”

Hyungwon released her and stalked over to his father, ushering him out of the ballroom and leaving the princess red-faced and shaking in a sea of jealous and shocked gawkers. The room whirled, and her stomach lurched. Everything Naran had ever known had just been undone in the span of two songs.

Her mother was at her side in an instant, smoothing her hair and thumbing at the rosy bloom in her daughter’s cheeks.

“Oh, my sun, you’ve made the right decision! I knew you would!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mother,” Naran insisted, hoping that her denial would alter reality.

“Did the prince not propose? Did you not say yes?”

“It was a dance. Just a dance.”

“A dance? When Prince Hyungwon has danced with no one but family in years? When his lips were in your hair? Surely, you jest, my child. No, this means everything. You have saved your homeland. Our people will adore you for it. Saran will adore you for it. When she comes of age, there won’t be a royal in all the realms who won’t seek to woo her. She will have her choice of kingdom thanks to your enviable match. It will silence at last the issue of heirs amongst our own people, for Goryeo’s backing will be incentive enough to dissuade usurpers until your sister can bear the next king.”

Naran’s throat was drier than the Gobi. She pinched her eyes shut against the onslaught of cold knowledge relentlessly bombarding her. “That’s just what I want—my little sister having to endure this nonsense.”

“She will not have to, darling! Suitors will come to her. She can marry for love or country.”

“She can have everything I cannot.”

Queen Jigme took her daughter’s face in hand and smiled warmly at her. “Who is to say that you cannot? Duty may bind you, but it doesn’t have to unmake you, dearest. There is something to your prince. When you’ve survived as long as I have in the world, you can see it. Only someone special like you, my Narangerel, can awaken it. Is Prince Hyungwon not handsome?”

Reluctantly, the princess nodded.

“Is he not charming?”

“When he wants to be.”

The queen’s voice dropped hard and low as her grip tightened. “Did he give you a reason to fear him?”

Naran pictured Hyungwon’s soft cinnamon eyes studying her as they twirled across the dance floor, and though her chest tightened at the memory, it wasn’t founded in the same kind of fear she felt when she squared off with a pack of wolves. The princess shook her head. “No, nothing like that.”

The queen let out a relieved sigh. “Good, because I would not part with you for all the alliances in the realms in trade for your safety. So, it is only your pride that holds you back?”

“Not pride, Mother. Freedom.”

“Do you respect the prince?”

“I hardly know him.”

Jigme glowered at her. “That has never stopped my daughter from making a snap judgment before.”

Naran didn’t want to say yes. That was the same thing as condoning the whole preposterous arrangement. And yet… It was hard to forget the gentleness in his cheeks and the calmness in his voice as he promised things she knew she shouldn’t dream of any longer.

“I suppose more than I do these other preening fools.”

“Then take heart, my sun. If there is respect, there can be love. You will want for nothing. There will be peace further than your eagle can soar. You have already done more for your kingdom than most rulers can ever hope to do.”

Strangely, Naran felt her heart in her throat. It was yet another promise that seemed impossible to deliver. “That presumes Emperor Gongmin will approve the match…”

Before her mother could even open her mouth to answer, Prince Hyungwon sped across the ballroom faster than she had imagined such a cavalier man ever moving. The entire party was watching as he bowed deeply to Queen Jigme before extending his hand to the princess.

Naran had no choice, she had to take it, and instead of simply holding her hand, he laced his fingers through hers so she had no way to pull away. His skin was hot and sweaty, but so was hers, and at least she could take comfort in the fact that he was as uncomfortable with this unbearable spotlight as she was.

“What’s going on?” she whispered. “Did your father not approve our arrangement?”

Even if the match had never been something she had wanted for herself, it would be even more humiliating to be turned down.

Worryingly, Hyungwon did not answer though he also did not stop pulling her to the head of the hall. There, beneath a fresco of a khan and his warrior bride surveying a battle from a mountain ledge, the prince stopped and tugged Naran close to his side. His hand tightened in hers, and it felt almost like he was using her to keep upright. She didn’t bother to balk because she needed the same.

Heavy footsteps approached from the side, and Naran lifted her eyes. Emperor Gongmin seemed to fill the room like a great balloon, puffing mightier and mightier with each passing second. All eyes had already turned to the front of the hall in anticipation of what the greatest ruler in the East had to say.

The emperor raised his glass to the party and grinned with a hollowness that Naran had yet to find in his son. His voice boomed across the room, even vibrating in the glassware on the tables. “First, I would like to extend my gratitude and appreciation to the mighty Toqu Khan for hosting us all at his beautiful palace this week. For many of us, this may be the only time we visit Kipchak, but it will remain forever in our hearts. It has been many long years since I have had the privilege of visiting, but I am happy to report this time has added a fondness for this charming land that I might never have anticipated, because it is thanks to the great Khan’s generosity that I can announce to all the realms that my son, Crown Prince Hyungwon of Goryeo, has finally found his future bride.”

A collective gasp filled the hall to its rafters, and Naran fought to hide her embarrassing tremble. As the spectators tightened ranks, she scanned the rainbow of faces to find her mother and grandfather watching with proud smiles. If they were happy, so too must she try to be. While she couldn’t bear to look at the man beside her, the princess worked hard to cobble some kind of smile together for them.

Emperor Gongmin continued, “Today, I am pleased to announce the joyful union of the Empire of Goryeo to the Kingdom of Moghulikhan. Henceforth, Princess Narangerel will move to Namgyeong to be with her new family, where the happy couple will marry before the whole empire. Please join me in wishing them all possible happiness.”

Applause thundered around them. For as many sycophants and saccharine grins as there were, there were just as many barely concealed scowls and glares, particularly a few other princesses Naran had spied talking up the prince earlier.

“To their many heirs!” shouted someone in the crowd, which was followed by cheers and more applause.

Her grandfather signaled for the band to kick back up as small glasses of clear liquor made their way suspiciously quickly through the ballroom, almost as though they’d been waiting for just such an announcement. The moment the tray appeared to her, Naran shook off Hyungwon’s hand to grab two glasses and down them with lightning speed before the burn of the alcohol could even sear her tongue. Beside her, her husband-to-be eyed her as he nursed his lone glass.

No sooner were the glasses emptied than the emperor had extended his hand to his future daughter-in-law. “Would you honor your new father with a dance, Princess?”

Without so much as the bliss of drunkenness, her body churned and her mind swam as Emperor Gongmin led Naran to the edge of the dance floor and dove right in mid-promenade. She could barely keep her feet under her as they waltzed through the line of raucous partygoers.

“What an enviable match you have made for yourself, Princess Naran,” the emperor observed as they ducked through a tunnel of hands.

“Yes, Your Highness,” she said tightly.

They emerged at the end of the tunnel only to add to it by joining their hands above them for the next dancers. Naran tried to keep her attention on the dance, but the beady eyes of the emperor were relentlessly demanding, and she knew in her bones she needed to rise to his challenge. She met his gaze head on, and the corner of his mouth quirked, pulling a crow’s foot at the edge of his cheek.

“I confess I have never seen my son so interested in his future,” Gongmin added, “which is why I approved the match without first meeting you. He appears genuinely pleased.”

“I am happy to hear so.”

They paired off again for a series of turns about the dance floor, which gave the emperor a chance to soften his voice further. “But I do not have the luxury of being so easy. My son has always been as prone to whimsy as he is to idleness, and this is all very sudden.”

Now, the alcohol was kicking in, mercifully giving Naran the strength she needed in the face of the Lord of the East. “Is that not how most matches are made, Your Highness?”

“Indeed they are, but I’m sure you can appreciate my desire to protect my empire.”

“Excuse my candor, sire, but I don’t believe anyone worries about the future of Goryeo.”

Emperor Gongmin’s hand squeezed hers unexpectedly tightly. “I do, Princess Narangerel, I do. So long as you commit to your new homeland and deliver the promised heirs, we will get along perfectly well. Now, I suggest you two revel in tonight’s festivities for as long as they’re offered. Goryeo always remembers to show its deep appreciation to its hosts, especially when they’re now family.”

The soon-to-be in-laws finished out the last few bars of the dance before they bowed to one another. As the emperor came up, he added with a softer, if disingenuous, smile, “You will make some very pretty children.”

With nothing else to say, Naran bowed again.

As Gongmin stepped aside for his son, he looked at the pair and said, “Enjoy your party, you two.”

Prince Hyungwon joined Naran’s side and offered her the next dance, but she shook her head. “I’m too dizzy. I mean it.”

“Would you like to sit down?”

“I would like to shoot you with an arrow,” she snapped though she took a chair along the wall and let her head rest against the tapestry there as she steadied her heart. “I hope you're happy.”

Hyungwon raised an eyebrow, “About the arrow? Not so much, but otherwise, I am, and so should you be.”

“You just blackmailed me into marriage. Happiness is the last thing from my mind.”

“You’re not the least bit glad to have settled on someone who will at least respect your independence, princess?”

Under the swell of the violin, Naran scoffed. “If you respected my independence, you would have left me to my plan of faking a deadly illness until my sister came of age. Then I could miraculously recover only to live my life as a spinster roaming the plains and hunting with my eagle.”

“You have a very elaborate imagination, my lady,” he said teasingly.

“It’s hardly imagination, my lord. I was set to contract dropsy this very evening.”

Hyungwon laughed. “You don’t contract dropsy; you develop it. Do not worry, the libraries in Changdeokgung are second to none, and they will all be at the princess’s disposal. You can pretend to contract all the illnesses you want when we arrive.”

Naran seethed. Thankfully, the folds of her dress concealed her fists.

“For all that’s just occurred, I am glad I met you, Princess,” said the prince as the orchestra wound down, and the tension left her hands at once. There was a tenderness in his voice that Naran almost let herself mistake as genuine affection, but either way, it made her breath catch. “This is the first time in my whole life I haven’t dreaded my future.”

He was being kind, and maybe it was even working were it not for the fact that it was the first time in Naran’s life that she did dread hers.

“I meant what I said,” Hyungwon continued. “I mean to give you every independence I can in our marriage. We don’t have to love each other so long as we respect each other, and if we can do that, maybe we can be something great for our people—and maybe even each other.”

The prince looked down at her, that beautiful smile showcasing brilliant teeth and lush lips. Naran longed to trust such beauty, but she knew those things were fleeting. Once the chandeliers had been snuffed, the silverware put away, and the spectators dispatched, only cold reality would encroach on them, and she wondered what kind of man her husband would truly be then.

[real-oddity]

Real Oddity's 2023 Art

Hello hello, gay people in my computer, it's that time again! Time to look at my art over this year! Feel free to look at 12 pieces that I did throughout the year. Enjoy :D!!

January- Fluffybird hyperfixation was in FULL SWING, WOW! I was in a really good groove early in the year, and was getting a lot of nice work done, including these idiots! I've changed how I draw these boys, but I still really like the shading for the most part! Generally holds up well. The background is pretty cool, too! I drew it myself :]

February- Luz Noceda my beloved! The Owl House was my favorite show for a while and still means a lot to me, so I felt like drawing Luz! Overall not very happy with this piece, like the shading, and also the nose, but I love the tears and eyes :D! Also hey those weird funky angular hands I used to draw, what ever happened to those-

March- BALDI!!!!! I was such an indie horror kid, man, so when I found out I had like. 12 hours to get a drawing done for Baldi's anniversary, I fucking jumped at the chance. I'm proud of that fact, but yeesh that shading is a little gross color wise. Also I could not draw lips, ears, or noses. I still can't, but I'm better at it!

April- oh god not them- So I was into Homestuck for a bit lol. I haven't finished it, and don't know if I will, but that's beside the point! Honestly this piece still holds up! For a colored sketch, I still like it a lot, especially Whimsy's hands. Dieonn's chin though... god you can tell I'm ass at perspective-

May- Oh my goodness, it's Wally Darling! He's just the most~ This was a practice in perspective, which as mentioned before I'm not great at!. I think it came out well, and while the shading isn't realistic for a felt body, I still like it :]

June- Oh my goodness he's multiplying!!! Run, run! This was me still trying to wiggle into the Welcome Home fandom (and failing lol) This was also a practice in both just drawing Wally, and composition! I didn't do great, but hey, it was good practice.

July- Oh my gosh it's him... the birthday boy- So the Daycare Attendant stole my heart a few years back when I was really ill and recovering from some trauma, so I of course had to make something for Eclipse! I wanted to test painting, and honestly? I like it a lot, at least dirt wise. He looks so grimy, I love it, ah!! Still needs more work on the lighting, though.

August- God dammit he came back again >:[ I was getting excited for all the new fnaf stuff, so I decided to draw Springtrap, the animatronic that scarred me so much as a kid. I'm actually still pretty happy with the general lighting. Like, there are a few things I have notes on, but overall I still like it :] Also the wires were fun, hehe

September- Mr. Darling is back again! I decided to try my hand at digital painting again and!!! I am still really pleased with the results. Pretty man!

October- Oh god its The Horse Show- For Cringetober, I drew a rarepair of Rarity and Sassy Saddles from MLP:FIM. I'm still super super happy with the horse anatomy, they're so cute! This was also a test in cell shading.

November- Circus time! I thought the pairing of Jax and Kaufmo was kinda funny, so I drew them. This was another test in composition and such, and general interactions. I still think it's alright :]

December- JANUARY EVERLY MY BELOVED SON!!! God it's been a hot minute sense I've done any illustrations with Jan. This was me just dicking around tbh, but hey! The results are fun! I love my son <3

2023 was so much better than 2022 in many ways. I'm looking forward to an even better 2024, and I hope you'll join me!

[heavensorhells]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WIFE ∞

to my dearest amanda, my mandy moo, my beloved, my best friend, my favorite virgo, my sun, the mother of my kids, the keeper of my heart, ryan to my sharpay, obi-wan to my anakin, lilo to my stitch, buttercup to my bubbles .. wishing you the happiest of birthdays !! i wish words could do my love for you justice but i know for a fact that, that will never be the case. the adoration, the fondness, the appreciation that i have for you and the beautiful friendship you have blessed me with, can never be entirely expressed in the twenty six letters of the alphabet. and even if i was fluent in all seven thousand of the world's languages, that still wouldn't be enough. my love for you is boundless. three years of friendship truly feels like a whole lifetime when we've shared so many fond memories — from all our movie dates, to our early morning antics and late night shenanigans, to yelling our love for each other at each other every chance we get, to 'i love you the same', to crying when we go a day without talking, to claiming hasbulla as our son, to yelling about our kids, yelling at our kids, to all the inside jokes, to laughing until we cry, to creating together. i honestly can't even pick a favorite. i hope you know that getting to talk to you is the highlight of my days. i also hope you realize just how loved you are. not only are you beautiful inside and out, but you possess so much talent and creative ideas in that big, juicy brain of yours. your soul radiates sunlight and your positive energy is so contagious. i could go on to write entire novels about why you are the most extraordinary human being. how blessed i am to have met you and know you in this lifetime. but i'm going to end this here with three words i will never get tired of saying to you .. i love you, i love you, i love you. @devilscherubs

love forever, ginger.

[bxldrsdraumar]

Not only has she been blessed with the return of her love but now she is able to celebrate his birthday with him. It is a day she has not been able to celebrate nearly enough times and she hopes to make it extra special.

Flowers are gathered. It is a gift she gives to everyone and her Sigurd is no exception. Blue and purple forget-me-nots are woven carefully into a crown. It is the first gift she presents him with and after she wakes him with a kiss, she sets it on his head with a laugh. Her excitement got the better of her allowing her to wake earlier than she usually does. He is always awake before she is, ready for his day when she just wants to sleep. But, for today, she will rise early if it means the chance to surprise him.

He looks so handsome she thinks with his hair tosseled from sleep and his head crowned with her flowers, the sun shining in their window. She could be content to simply look at him like this, committing every detail of the moment to the far reaches of her memory where she will never have to worry about forgetting it again. But he is her beloved husband and she has more than just flowers to give him.

"Happy birthday, my love," she whispers, voice still groggy from the morning. A kiss is placed on the tip of his nose and another to his lips. "I've canceled my classes for the day. We can do whatever you wish. We could go riding or we could venture into town. We could even stay right here in this bed all day. Anything you would like." Her finger traces a line down his bare sternum for just a moment before she quickly pulls away to retrieve something she has hidden under her pillow.

"But first! You must open your gift!" Deirdre hands him a small package, tiny enough to fit in the palm of his hand. When he opens it, he will find a small framed portrait of his wife and son smiling at him. She beams at him as the paper falls away and he can see the gift. "You can keep it in your pocket. That way, if we ever must be parted, you will still have us with you always. A reminder of how much I love you."

((thank you Susanne for letting me steal Seliph for a portrait session!))

Sigurd is an early riser. Always has been – by virtue of his birth and standing, his time at his own military academy, and in his duties as a paladin of Grannvale, not to mention his own innate energy, Sigurd found himself often rising with or before the sun. When he was lord of his realm, he found that this endeared him to his smallfolk and the employees of his castle – a man who kept the same hours as they, who worked as hard as they, and still presented a cheerful face when he stopped to chat with them during their day – and those that moved about the monastery seem to be no different as he went about his days here. 

He is used to rising, often tugged back by his wife, crooning for him to continue holding her, sharing his warmth with her in their bed, and he obliges for a few moments before the thrum of energy takes him. He knows this is routine, and he is comfortable with it. 

It is a surprise, therefore, when he finds himself being awoken by featherlight kisses – he almost thinks that he is dreaming still when he cracks his eyes open to find Deirdre, ethereal as ever, haloed in the rising sun with flowers in her hands. 

He rises to meet her lips with a soft hum, realizing that this is indeed no dream, it is his reality, and the thought warms him from top to toes as he is crowned with a wreath of flowers (more skillful than his by far). 

"I think I have something in mind," he responds in kind, watching dutifully as her pale fingers trace the lines of his chest, his own hand coming up to grasp Deirdre's but coming short as she darts away. 

"Another gift? My love you certainly – oh." He tugs at the paper wrapping the package, and as it falls away he finds two sets of eyes smiling at him, crinkled with warmth. His wife and his son, together, and for him. Something in his mind stirs at the thought, and he spends a moment simply staring at the portrait in his hand, eyes drinking in every detail, every brushstroke, committing them to memory despite knowing that he no longer has to. 

His throat becomes thick, and after a moment the portrait gains the smallest dot of moisture. In reaction, he clutches it tightly to his chest, and turns his tearful face back to face his wife, glowing more radiant than the sun before him – his hand reaches out as he rises, and Sigurd grips Deirdre about the waist, tugging her close to him and burying his nose in her hair. 

"Thank you, my love. I could not have dreamed of a more perfect way to wake." 

[beautifulreflections]

Post 7: The Birthday Party (Google Map)

A busy day is fun, but often there is great enjoyment at the end of it all, when you can be still and just rest. Here are the events leading up to the birthday party as well as what followed. The moments were fun, but let's see what happens when the birthday party is done.

There were plans for the day. Many plans with very little time to complete each of the tasks required for said success, and so we woke up early. Early for a Saturday that is and went out for breakfast at the beloved waffle house. There was some discrepancy about what we would eat, but after seeing the long line at the new breakfast spot we found our place at the Waffle House content to be eating breakfast there together. The lady at the front door was trying to sell us a coupon voucher. I said no, but was husband was being nice. “No thank you,” I said sweetly but, He bought one anyways. It had a waffle house coupon on it, but we didn’t even use it. Would we really be helping the boy scouts by purchasing this? I don’t think so, but who really knows.

After breakfast we took a short car ride across the street. The car now smelled of waffles and hashbrowns that our boys had devoured. With full bellies and happy dispositions, despite the unnecessary coupon purchase that we didn’t even use, we set out for Kohls to get the boys needed some new clothes. Looking at my son’s favorite pants that morning confirmed the need. “They aren’t high waters” he said…but they were. The truth was He didn’t want to get rid of His favorite pants. We had a budget. Our plans to stick to the list were grand, but we didn’t succeed. My husband tried to look for some clothes, but my youngest son who was on His heels hindered Him from doing so. We all walked out of the store with items we needed except my husband, who got the short of the stick that day. His wallet was much lighter after our trip there.  

When we arrived at my friend’s house in Senoia for her son’s birthday party midday a sense of dread filled me. Surely this wasn’t a water slide. My oldest son in the backseat looked panicked. “Mom, did you us bring swim clothes?” My silence told Him all He needed to know. He began to cry. I begin to formulate a plan. “It’s fine,” I said unconvincingly. “There are clothes in the back of the car that we can use.” These are the ones I had been planning to give away for the past month. “I will look for them while you two jump” I said. They believed me, and I went to look through the clothes I complained.

‘Why would she not put that on the invitation’ I thought. ‘This is clearly important information.’ But then I looked at the boys, they were happy…and not wet. Praise the LORD! It was not a water slide. It was just a slide. I yelled out to my oldest son, “There’s no water?” He shook His head. And we were all able to proceed at the party without weeping and gnashing of teeth. Crisis averted. I wiped the sweat off my brow and stood in the sunshine while my kids jumped and played with all the other kids. The only thing that would have made this party better was a lawn chair for me to sit in while I watched.

The mom conversation was wrapping up when we heard a loud cry. Someone was hurt inside the bouncy house. But who was it? My eyes went to the center of the bouncy house. It was Shawn, the birthday boy. “I didn’t mean to,” said the other little boy. I quickly ran to the bouncy house to get a Him out…but I got stuck. The entrance was big enough, but my black coach backpack got stuck in the netting. I helped Shawn get out, and then someone had to help me get untangled from the netting. Thankfully, I was able to get it undone quickly.

The party was over. Shawn was hit in the eye with a nerf bullet, and from close range. Not a good way to end your birthday for sure. So, the kids and I packed up and we headed home. The boys ate candy in the backseat as I prayed for Shawn to not have any permanent eye damage from the bullet that hit his eye. Once during a family nerf battle, I hit my husband in the eye with a nerf bullet and His vision was blurred for a week. I was praying this didn’t happen with Shawn.

When we got home, I heard the familiar, “Mom, I’m hungry.” So, I heated up some leftover pizza from the previous day. It was a simple end to otherwise more complex day. Dinner was eaten. Showers were taken. Above all things, we were quite happy to be home. It was a good day, but the ending wasn’t fun for sure. I messaged my friend to check on her son, and she said He was feeling much better. We all laid down and watched tv, each on a different device but in the same room. Though the house was messy, I left it alone. I was thankful that my sons weren’t hit in the eye with a nerf gun and that our house wasn’t filled with left over party cups and trash from guests. The party though fun, was enough excitement for one day.

[rvllybllply2014]

Heavy heavy post under the cut read at own risk. Talks of parental death and grief.

I’m fine if anyone reads this I just need to talk about it and get it off my chest. Happy birthday mom I won’t blast your age on here just know that for the past few days I’ve been thinking about you even more. I hope you’re happy and celebrating it with your beloved dad. I can’t believe it’s been five years since your death, but in many ways I can, and this is your sixth birthday in the afterlife. I just miss you so much around this time and also my birthday. Also I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it happened I should’ve turned around and stayed with you. Plus the last day and the very last conversation plays in my head vividly around this time and around the middle of March (sorry I don’t remember the exact date that you died but I know it’s in the middle of March and it’s a way for my brain to protect itself and my heart). I went into my old job today and talked to an old manager of mine and she told me about another old managers death. I really hope you got to meet that old manager she invited me over to her house to help celebrate her sons birthday which was a few days before mine and it was also the first without you. She also gave a necklace when I came back to work after taking a week off. She was a good lady just like you. She died a few days before your birthday last year so hopefully you invited her to spend some time with you just like she did with me. Mom it’s been almost 7 years since you last touched me and you know cells regenerate after 7 years it sucks that the body you touched won’t be here anymore. I love you so very much and it sucks that I lost you in my early 20s, it means that I will have to mourn you longer then I got to spend time with you. All of this is to say happy birthday mom, have all the fun you can and you’re dearly missed.

[kierrasreads]

Kiki's Delivery Service (#1) by Eiko Kadono Review

A SPOILER ALERT IS NOW IN EFFECT: I DISCUSS BOTH THIS BOOK AND THE MOVIE

Plot

Half-witch Kiki never runs from a challenge. So when her thirteenth birthday arrives, she's eager to follow a witch's tradition: find a new tone to call home for one year.

Brimming with confidence, Kiki flies off to the seaside village of Koriko, expecting that her powers will easily bring happiness to the townspeople. But gaining the trust of the locals and finding success is trickier than she expected. With her faithful, wisecracking black cat, Jiji, by her side, Kiki faces new challenges and forges new friendships, ultimately realizing that magic can be found in even the most ordinary places.

Blending fantasy with the charm of everyday life, this new translation of Eiko Kadono's beloved classic will bewitch the hearts of new readers and dedicated fans alike.

Discussion

This is legitimately one of the cutest books ever! I'm a huge fan of the movie (or more accurately, it's my favorite Studio Ghibli film and my go-to comfort movie), so I when realized that it was based on a book, I knew I had to grab a copy. Luckily for me, my family and I went shopping this weekend and the Barnes and Noble there had a copy. Now I wish they had the rest! I believe there are 6 books in the series (don't quote me on that).

The movie was different than the book- of course, the movie had the core characters (Kiki, Jiji, Osono, her husband, Kiki's parents- whose names are Kokiri and Okino, and Tombo) and the major themes (maturity, transitioning/breaking away from tradition, and finding your own path). However, there were several differences, which I'll highlight below (I'm not saying that the differences are bad, but I'm just saying that there are deviations from the novel):

Tombo didn't play much of a role in the novel, but like in the movie, he was Kiki's first friend in Koriko (I don't ever remember the name of the town being revealed in the movie- or at least not in the English dub). They met after he stole Kiki's broom at the beach and he broke it trying to figure out how it works. He did redeem himself

Madame's character was different as well- she didn't have a grandchild or servant. Instead, she spends her time knitting belly bands and worrying over her son- no snobby granddaughter in sight.

Ursula didn't play a significant role as she did in the film- instead, the big sister figure was satisfied early on in the book with another witch. If you remember from the film, the fortune-telling witch that Kiki encounters while on her way to Koriko. In the book, she was actually kind to Kiki and gave her some good advice and a friendly ear. In the movie, Ursula was an artist and Kiki inspired her artwork- however, we don't see Ursula (whose name is never revealed) after Kiki completes a delivery for her.

The air day and Kiki rescuing Tombo didn't happen in this first book. I'm not sure if it happened in the other books, but it did happen in the movie.

There were a few deliveries/interactions that Kiki completed that weren't in the movie: Kiki helping Violet with laundry (but that helped inspire the scene where Kiki helped Madame around the house), completing a delivery for 8 snobby musicians, celebrating New Year's Eve with the town and saving the beloved clock tower, and delivering/writing a poem to two pining teenagers

Kiki didn't lose her powers or her ability to talk to Jiji.

Jiji also didn't fall in love with another cat, but again, I'm not sure if this happens in another book or if they just added this plot idea for the movie only.

Kiki and Jiji got to visit her parents-which I thought was sweet :).

All in all, I really enjoyed this book! I highly recommend it :)

Rating

5/5

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 23

I swear to god I had no idea today was Dean's birthday when I was making the HNT schedule. But here we are at the end of season 1.

(I also messed up yesterday's episode title, but at least it's fixed now)

"Devil's Trap"

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: Doesn't really apply here. It's not a normal first five minutes of a supernatural episode.

I...can't believe Carry On Wayward Son doesn't play at the beginning of this episode. It's such a staple of Supernatural season finales that it feels SO WRONG to not have it.

Awww! Bobby's first appearance!!

I was right about Meg being flirty in this episode, though.

Eldest sons with and incredible amount of anger threatening obscene amounts of violence my apparent beloveds. I'm fine. I'm super normal. Hearing Dean say he'll march into hell itself and slaughter every single demon if it turns out John's dead is not something I'm into.

I don't know how I feel, though, about Dean being okay about potentially killing the real Meg. Yeah, you've gotta live with that now, buddy.

I need to know what happened that Bobby tried to shoot John last time they saw each other. Will we likely find out later? That's probably a fifty-fifty shot.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuuck. I hate knowing how this all ends. I hate knowing that despite both John and Sam being willing to throw their lives away to kill this demon, eventually it's gonna have to be Sam who buries Dean way too early.

Did you have to pull the fire alarm without any kind of layer between your hand and it, Sam??

Dean wanting to be a firefighter when he grew up is so sad. And the only thing making it sadder is that Sam didn't know. Dean's only had this life since not long after Sam was born while Sam was able to go after his own dreams.

Does holy water not work on really high ranking demons? Or is that really John?

Wait. Can...can demons possess more than one person at once?

YOU BROUGHT THE COLT?? DEAN. wtf. I know it saved Sam's life, but...

Oh. Oh no. I hate this part. I hate when Dean realizes that that couldn't be John because John wouldn't be proud of him. John would be pissed off that he wasted one of the very few magical bullets for THE Colt. (I have had to pause the episode because it hurts too much, and I don't wanna cry about Dean on his birthday. I'm gonna, though) Like not only can he not believe his dad would ever be proud of him, he's proven RIGHT. It's everything he's ever wanted to hear, but he knows it's not real.

I'm so not okay. Making Sam choose who to believe: the brother who's always looked out for him but who is now pointing a gun at their dad OR their dad who definitely is might be possessed by the demon that killed Mary and Jess but is also being held at gunpoint. And there's no winning here.

I was right about the holy water.

Use the force, Sammy.

DEAN'S BLEEDING OUT AND ALL HE CAN THINK IS THAT SAM NEEDS TO CHECK ON JOHN. I really can't with this family sometimes. The angst is so strong. John ordering Sam to shoot him for REAL (not just in the leg) while Dean begs him not to.

Holy shit...is this really how they're gonna end season one? All three Winchesters CRITICALLY INJURED IF NOT DEAD (you know, if I didn't know there were 14 more seasons) after the yellow eyed demon possesses some poor truck driver and rams his semi into the impala?! Legitimately don't think I've ever been so happy to only have to wait one day to get to the next season of a show.

"Been On My Mind...": (Making a prediction before Carry On Wayward Son even starts playing that there will be no room for that, but Meg might be flirty while threatening the boys. That's the closest we'll get) I was right.

[heich0e]

𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚘 𝚊𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚊

[✦ fluff | ♥︎ smut | ☾ angst | ♧ drabble | ☆ ask/request]

𝚍𝚊𝚋𝚒/𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚢𝚊

Under The Weather ✦☾♧ touya turns up in the dead of night, but something is different than usual. ➮ Part 2

little life ✦♧ papa!touya, domestic fluff, light hurt/comfort (no angst!), it takes touya three days to finally hold your new baby

"get up, sleepyhead" ✦♥︎♧ you crawl into bed to give touya a (welcomed) wake up call

let's get married ✦♧ established relationship, nervous lovesick touya my beloved

"it's my favourite" ✦♧ cooking a meal for soft bf!touya

who is next to her tonight? ☾♧☆ prompt: "dabi angst"

study date ✦♧ a last minute cram session helping college bf!touya prepare for an exam takes an unexpected turn.

to sleep, to dream ✦♧ touya watches you while you sleep (not in a weird way.)

second take ✦♧ touya's early morning call times are almost always earlier than the rest of his cast mates, which leaves just the two of you alone in the makeup trailer as you start your day on set. - more context for the childstar!touya AU

first love ☾♧ a drabble series inspired by this text post - touya falls in love the first time he sees an example of a happy, healthy relationship. unfortunately that relationship is between you and his little brother. P1. thaw - P2. drip - P3. reach - ONGOING

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚔𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚊

on again ✦♧ waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you forgot to sneak your on again off again bf out of your apartment

soak ✦♧ convincing tomura to get into the bath with you

𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚒 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚘

six months ☾♧ "natsuo’s had six months of you, and he wants the rest of them."

𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚖𝚒 𝚔𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚘/𝚑𝚊𝚠𝚔𝚜

say you promise ♧ TW YANDERE - keigo convinces you to quit your job less than a year into your relationship.

𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚒 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚘

lessons in apologies ✦♧ pro hero bf!shouto, new relationship, making up after a fight, speaking in flowers

what rings true ✦♧ shouto buys you 6 engagement rings, but when the moment strikes he ends up using none.

squishy ✦♧ a tender moment with papa shouto, admiring your infant daughter's chubby cheeks.

the heart is but a winding road ✦ a series wherein an ill-fated meeting with your five year old son naoyuki earns prohero shouto a new lease on life (and possibly a new best friend.) Part 1 - Part 2 - ONGOING

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒

something to look forward to ✦♧☆ prompt: shinsou's birthday <3 pro hero bf!shinsou, established relationship, very light angst, hurt/comfort, shinsou only eats cake on his birthday and you're determined to find out why

𝚋𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚐𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚊𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒

you used to tell me i was brave ✦☾ angst, post breakup break-in. katsuki shows up in your apartment unexpectedly, six months after your unexpected breakup. but midnight's not really the right time to settle the score.

©HEICH0E 2022 - please do not quote, repost, or translate any of my work.