#have been hit too many times by watching shinee videos to then randomly be hit by clips from Jonghyun's funeral

[shawoluvs]

People handle grief in their own ways and I don't like to judge people on how they process loss but something about shorts and tiktoks and videos made with some sad, generic pop song playing over video clips from a celebrity's funeral gives me the ick. There are ways to remember people and if you knew someone personally then maybe it'd be different but there's something off about it that I can't put my finger on.

[purpleyoonn]

The Line Between Love and War 2

C H A P T E R  2:  Announcements and Hand Holding

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut, 

Chapter Warnings: some anxious feelings, thoughts of being perceived, giggling mc, protective bangtan, sejin causing some unforeseen trouble, independent mc, mc forgetting to eat, jin being a savior for awkward mc,  

Beta Reader: @crushedblackroses  

Taglist: @azazel-nyx​​  @yuzon3​​ @hannahdinse8​​ @quirkybtsarmy​​ @mageprincess7​​  @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @suckerforv​​ @chaoticthingpizza​​ @drissteele​​ @carolinexkpop​​ @avadakadabra93​​ @lachimolala22019​​  @justaweird0​​ @singukieee​​  @welcometomyworld13​​ @toughbook​​ @kimana122​​ @kpopmultistantrashsstuff​​ 

Masterlist // Chapter 1 // Chapter 3

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Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

“Don’t say that. We will always worry about you. You may not have experienced the soulbond we did, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. If anything, our bonds made us fall in love with our sweet and caring baby soulmate. You are ours, and we take care of what is ours.” Namjoon spoke in English again, making his sentence hit you even harder, your cheeks as red as a lobster at this point as he moves closer, placing his hand on your knee.

Never would you think you would be in this situation, in the same room as the boys you had grown to love through their videos and lyrics, and they were basically professing their love for you, their soulmate. It was like being in the middle of a bad fanfiction. You were almost waiting for the other shoe to drop, your experience states that something bad always follows something good.

After their very obvious and blatant words of love and possession, Jin refused to let go of you, his hands maneuvered you so he was sitting behind you, your body anchored to him as he wrapped his arms around you. You were extremely tense at first, uncomfortable with the thought of even being touched by someone else, but your body quickly relaxed into his touch, just like it did with Yoongi.

You didn’t understand where your almost craving need of their touch came from. You had always held an aversion for touch, needing your personal bubble to be untouched by anyone near you. Your family had always had problems with this, being very affectionate people.

“I know you don’t like hugs but come here!” Were words you had heard way too many times before being brought into someone’s hold. Your family acknowledged your touch aversion, but didn’t care, even when it made you uncomfortable or caused a shutdown afterwards.

To become completely relaxed and at peace at the boy’s touch was weird to you. Normally you would be pushing yourself away by now, but here you were, resting your head against Jin’s chest as he relaxed into the back of the couch. A sigh of relief even left your lips as Jin held you closer to his chest.

The others watched on with small smiles on their faces, seeing you relax completely into their eldest mate’s hold. This was probably the first time they had seen you truly relaxed since Yoongi found you. Namjoon almost wanted to just call it a day right then and there, wanted to tuck you into his bed and make sure you were warm against him before you fell asleep. But before that, their manager, Sejin, walked in.

You jumped at the door opening, the unexpected noise startling you out of your relaxed state, the unknown man scaring you a little. Jin’s arms tightened around you, bringing you back into his hold as Jimin and Taehyung settled on either side of you and Jin, their hands settling on your thighs, protective in hope.

“Hello boys. I heard you have found your last soulmate!” The man spoke before congratulating the boys, moving around to shake their hands or pat them on the back before moving to stand in front of you.

“Hello there. You must be Y/N. My name is Sejin, and I am the main manager for the boys.” He holds his hand out for you to shake, and you reluctantly bring your hand up to meet his. His touch made you want to pull back, the feeling of his skin uncomfortable against your own. When he pulled away, you were secretly relieved, bringing your hand to your chest.

“I came by to let you know that we have the announcement ready. Bang Pd-nim just wanted you to look it over before we post it.” Sejin stated, looking towards Namjoon, who grabbed the tablet out of his manager’s hand to look at said statement.

However, the manager’s words had you tensing up again, panic filling your bones at the thought of being announced to the world, of people knowing about you. Jin noticed your shaking first, could feel your heartbeat become faster. You have always disliked the thought of being perceived, of people thinking about you. It felt weird to you and always had you double thinking everything you do, your mask being almost perfected over the years.

“Baby, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He whispered in your ear, rubbing his hand up and down your arm in an attempt to help calm you down.

“Do we have to make an announcement?” Your voice cracked, worry lacing your tone and catching the attention of the rest of your mates. Sejin stepped back, knowing if he got to close, he would have more than just upset Bangtan at his throat.

“Honey, we need to make an announcement before the fans find out themselves. We need to stay in control of the situation. The NSS is updated regularly when soulmates find each other, and we know that there are fans who check every day.” Namjoon says, moving closer until he was kneeling in front of you, holding your hands in his own. 

“We want to keep you safe.” He finishes, looking in your eyes and hoping you understand where they were coming from. There was nothing more that he wanted than to assure your safety. Their line of work was not easy, and he knew other idol’s soulmates have been caught in the crossfire in the past, and they couldn’t let that happen to you. 

“Do you have to tell them it’s me? I uh, would like to remain private if I can?” You look hopeful to Namjoon, he can see the emotion clear in your eyes and he hates that he must tell you otherwise.

“Baby, I so wish we could keep you private, keep you to ourselves. But soulmate bonds at the NSS reveal the people within the bonds. Your name will be linked with our own as quickly as tomorrow.” You look down at your lap, tears almost forming in your eyes as take in his words. The soul mark on your inner arm now completely black, complete with your bond. 

Change was evident in life, you knew this. It happened every day, heck, every second. But this was too much change for any single person to handle. You never thought you would meet your soulmate, and now you have to be announced to the world, letting everyone know you exist and you are the last soulmate to the biggest band in the world.

You tried to reign in your tears, tried not to breakdown in front of them, but just the sound of you sniffling had the boys moving to you. But you were already forcing yourself to hold everything in, something that was as easy as breathing for you by now. Your mask back on your face before you could look up, one of the boys’ hand coming up and cupping your cheek, tilting your head upwards.

“Nothing will happen to you if that’s what you are worried about. We would never let anything happen to you now that we’ve finally found you.” Hoseok spoke softly but firmly as you cupped your cheek, making sure you were looking him in the eyes as he spoke.

“I know that you feel uncomfortable with attention, having seen glimpses,” He winks at you, causing a small smile to grow on your lips, “but we will do our best to keep you out of the spotlight. You don’t have to be on camera if you don’t want to. We will never force you to do anything you don’t want to.” His words help to reassure you, keep you from panicking even more.

This time, Jungkook speaks up from his spot on the right of Hoseok, having moved to kneel in front of you when he heard you sniffle.

“While people will want to know more about you, will ask questions and demand answers, we will only ever talk about what you allow us. If you don’t want us to talk about you at all, then we won’t.” You shake your head at his words, knowing that it wasn’t fair to army to keep you completely secret.

Yes, the boys share so much already, and deserve their own privacy. But you knew it would cause more problems than solutions to keep you completely hidden, especially when they will know your name soon enough.

As an army yourself, you felt as though you knew that army would want to know about you, if only to be able to hold love for you as well. True army love the boys and their relationship for what it is. Yes, jealousy does exist, envy is hard to hold in, but you know that real army would be just as happy for you as they would be for the boys finally completing their soul cluster.

The entire world knew that the boys were missing a soulmate, that their gray soul mark was a tough talking point for them. But now, it was complete.

“No, that’s not fair to you or army. You guys are very open about each other, about your soul cluster.” You start, your voice shaking at the thought that you were now a part of their cluster. “I want you to be able to be open about me as well. I don’t really care what you say, I guess.” You finish, looking at Namjoon as you feel safe under his gaze.

“The statement looks fine, Sejin.” Namjoon says finally after reading it aloud and getting your express permission to post the announcement.

“Okay, so this will be posted in about two hours.” Sejin states before turning to you, “Do you happen to have any social media, miss Y/n?” Your head tilts subconsciously at your confusion, trying to understand his words as he spoke to fast for you to easily translate in your head.

“oh cute” Jungkook and Jimin both mutter in Korean under their breath, heart eyes sent your way.

When you finally translate his words in your head, you nod. “Am I not supposed to?” You ask the manager, a slightly higher pitch to your words. He just sighs.

“Well, we want to be able to monitor your posts…” Sejin trails off after receiving a look from Namjoon and Yoongi, the latter shaking his head.

“She is not a part of the company. She doesn’t need her freedom restricted in any way.” Yoongi states, firm in his opinion with some of the others nodding their heads in agreement while the others voice theirs.

While this starts a slight argument, Sejin trying to voice the companies concerns while the boys defend your freedom, you raise your hand, hoping they would notice so you could say your own thoughts. Taehyung is the first to notice your hand, a big smile breaking out on his face as he puts his hand to his mouth, trying to quiet his words as he repeats Jimin and Jungkook’s earlier sentiments.

Trying to be quiet and actually being quiet are two different things though, and everyone’s attention is slowly moved to face Taehyung, his gaze still on you. When you notice this, your eyes widen, everyone’s eyes now on you.

“Yes, baby?” You blush at Jin’s words of endearment, not used to it at all.

“I uh, don’t really post on social media anyways. I only have it so I can look at the stuff other people post.” Your voice is a little quiet, the tension between the boys and their unfortunate manager still visible in their shoulders. “I don’t mind not posting.” You finish, but this only has Yoongi tilting his head.

“You can post whatever you want. The company just wants to make sure you don’t post anything about the band and what we are doing before it is released. Like spoilers.” He reasons with you, and pointedly looks towards Sejin.

Jungkook, who has been quiet the entire time, stands up, his hands on his hips as he voices his own suggestion.

“Think about it though. We are always trying to give behind the scenes photos and videos to help drive up interaction and views. So, what if we have Y/n use her social media to do just that. We can give army’s an exclusive view they wouldn’t otherwise have. Photos for army from an army who knows exactly what they would want.” Jungkook then looks at you, eyes wide as he tries to fix his words.

“Only if you are okay with that, baby? That way you don’t have to be monitored by the company, but you can still have the freedom to post us on your social. We want you to be able to show us off just like we want to show you off.” You think about his words, not seeing a problem with them.

You didn’t really think this far anyways, so you were pretty much ‘going with the flow’. You can’t really tell if you’ve shut down or not, your mind kind of numb, so you nod in agreement with your older soulmate. You don’t really see anything wrong with his proposal.

“I think I could get the okay for that.” Sejin muses, typing out something on his tablet. “Is it okay if I have your socials? That way we can monitor your accounts for safety reasons?” You don’t think too much, not seeing anything wrong with giving him your socials, so you do, typing them into his tablet.

After a couple of more questions aimed at the boys, and more discussions about cancelling their interviews tomorrow, which you make it known you are against, and the boys agreeing that you would just accompany them to their interviews, Sejin leaves with Namjoon and Jin walking him out.

It had to have been past one o’clock by now, time moving quickly since you bumped into Yoongi’s chest. Said soulmate had now moved back to sit next to you, his thigh touching yours as he takes your hand in his again. You blush a little, remembering the compilation you had watched of him trying to hold his mates’ hands, but unable to as they were oblivious to his intentions.

You would never say no to holding his hand, you think.

You let him hold onto you, his fingers moving to entangle with your own. It felt nice, like warmth was moving from your fingertips to your heart, your face flush for an entirely new reason.

Your favorite music group were your soulmates.

The revelation was just now starting to sink in. The universe had paired you into a soul cluster with the same men who helped you to live when you thought all else was lost. The same men who brought you immeasurable joy and happiness are now sitting in front of you, holding your hands and giving you a new hope that your soulmates do want you.

However, your brain soon took a new direction. You now had unfiltered access to your favorite music group, and as such, could ask them the questions you’ve always wanted to know.

While you were with the others, Namjoon and Jin were discussing your safety with Sejin, making sure it is known that you were the most important person to them now. They told him of your diagnosis, and what changes needed to be enacted to try and make you feel as comfortable as possible.

The boys had known about your diagnosis as long as you had. Hoseok had vision shifted during your final evaluation where you had received your autism diagnosis. With that, they did as much research as they could on the subject, looking at different symptoms that could present along the spectrum. But there wasn’t much they could do without knowing your sensory needs or masking ability. From their guess, you were high masking, meaning you were able to mask your symptoms and appear neurotypical with little to no questions.

They wanted to be able to be there for you.

They wanted you to feel comfortable enough to not have to wear your mask around them.

When the boys had gone back inside after saying goodbye to their manager, they came into you zoning in between Yoongi and Jungkook, the two holding your hands as they all talked. You had a small smile on your lips as you stared at the coffee table in front of you. He almost wished he had soul thought as his bond with you, then maybe he could catch a glimpse of what has you so lost in thought.

“Y/n, we were just about to eat lunch when the two got their vision of you, have you eaten yet?” Jin broke through your thoughts and had you thinking back to if you had eaten.

Food was always a weird topic for you. It’s not like you didn’t eat, your body just never really told you that you were hungry. You could go days forgetting that you needed to eat to survive. The same thing with drinking. Your doctors had called it bad interoception, meaning that your body basically failed to signal you as to what’s going on within your body. Feelings like hunger or thirst weren’t detected by your mind.

Your hesitation to answer was a little jarring for your soulmate, who took it as a bad sign.

“So, you haven’t eaten today? When was the last time you ate?” Jin asked you, his hand on his hip as you look away from him, embarrassment moving through your spine as you tried to come up with a reasonable answer.

At your blatant lack of an answer, Jin’s mouth opened wide, while the rest of your soulmates scrambled from their seats, helping you up off the couch and into the kitchen so they could feed you something.

“Might as well order something in, hyung.” Taehyung spoke up, followed by Jimin.

“We don’t have enough here, and we don’t know what she likes.” Jimin moved toward their fridge, filled with a lot of small leftovers that wouldn’t be enough for everyone.

“Why don’t we have Y/n pick, and then we can have someone pick it up for us.” At Jungkook’s words, you think to what you are going to do.

You realize they expect you to stay with them, probably in their hotel room with them, and leaving back to Korea when the concerts are over. Your mind moving quickly as you tried to figure out your nest steps. You guess you don’t really mind it, have nothing really to go back home to, but you need your things from your hotel. You brought all of your important things with you, and you wouldn’t be leaving without them.

Plus, if you didn’t check out of your room, your card would continue to be charged. You didn’t have the money for that. You started to move for the small hallway that led to the front door, moving to grab your things.

“Baby! Where are you going?” Taehyung and Hobi made a run for you once they noticed you trying to leave. Hoseok had been watching you, trying to see how you would handle their chaotic, but natural conversation. He knew you had troubles with sounds, so he wanted to gauge your comfortability levels with them at first. But instead, he caught you zoning out and then trying to leave the hotel room.

Hoseok had been afraid that they had been too much, and had gotten worried when you left the kitchen area. He really hoped you weren’t trying to get away from them. That they hadn’t caused you any issues so quickly in their bonding with you.

When you heard Hoseok’s voice, he caught you by surprise and you bumped your head into the doorknob, causing a loud “ow” to be heard from the kitchen as Namjoon felt your pain. This then caused them to realize you weren’t in the room and find you at the door holding a hand to your head.

“Oh my, are you okay?” Namjoon asks, tripping over his own feet as he tries to get to you.

“Yeah…I’m okay.” The ones who didn’t witness you trying to leave see one of your hands on the doorknob, your bags in front of you from when you dropped them.

“Y/n, why are you trying to leave? Have we done something to upset you?” Jimin looks at you with his eyes wide and a small pout beginning to form on his lips.

“Oh, I was going to go back to my hotel and get my things. Unless you guys don’t want me to stay here? I don’t mind. I can continue staying at my hotel. I just thought that since you guys weren’t going to reject me, that you wanted me as your soulmate, so you guys would want me here, with you all. With the way you were talking about security and all…” You trail off, realizing that you were beginning to over-explain yourself again.

“Why would you think that?” Taehyung asks, probably referring to when you said they might not want you there. “I thought Joon hyung told you that you were ours. We take care of what or who is ours. Of course you are staying with us.” He looked at you as if he was trying to make you believe his words. Like he was staring into your soul and trying to convince it of the bond they shared.

“Oh, huh” You begin to get nervous, not wanting to tell them you weren’t used to being cared for or about. It never really bothered you before, but you didn’t want to hurt their feelings like you knew your words would.

“It’s nothing.” You end up responding, shrugging your shoulders.

You look at each of the boys, some of their faces turning to an obvious look of confusion while Namjoon and Yoongi just raise an eyebrow at you. You slowly start to shrink into yourself, your hand on the doorknob tightening at their glances.

“Why didn’t you say so? Some of us could go get lunch and the others can go to your hotel and help you grab your things?” Jin spoke first, breaking the silence and referring to the beginning of your nervous rant as he moved around the entry way, phone now in hand as he starts to call Sejin and some of their security to let them know the change in plans.

Jimin was the first to move after Jin, coming up and taking one of your hands in his own, Hoseok was next, who picked up your bags from on the floor and moved down a hallway and disappeared. He left your backpack, thankfully, as it has your wallet and your hotel key. You moved to pick it up when Yoongi did, putting it on his back before holding onto your other hand, taking it off the doorknob.

“Wait, I wanna go to Y/n’s hotel with her!” Jungkook spoke up, realizing Jimin and Yoongi has already silently declared they were going to go with you. You just couldn’t help but to stare down at their own hands in yours, the dream-like feeling coming back.

“Yoongi-hyung, Jin-hyung and Taehyung should go get food! They already got to go find her.” Jimin protested, wrapping his empty arm around your arm, holding himself to you and laying his head on your shoulder, even though you were shorter than him.

“Whaaaaa, that’s not fair?” Taehyung protested, while Yoongi shook his head, Jin not paying attention as he was talking to security trying to get two separate cars.  Everyone turned to you, seeing you were in your own little world, then turned to their leader who had been silent as he watched you.

Namjoon couldn’t help but admire you, how even though they all knew how much this was for you, a drastic change to your life, you were so calm. He almost wondered if you were holding back, for them. But, he also caught the small smile on your lips as you looked down at Jimin’s hand in yours, moving your arm a little bit to swing your hands. He would ask Jimin or Tae later if you had dreamed about them, about this. He never thought to ask before, but now, it was the first thing he would ask once he’s got the chance.  

You, on the other hand, were trying not to move to much as you liked the feeling of Jimin’s hand in yours. Something about the hand placement made you want to stim, starting to swing your hands back and forth as you smiled. His hand was so soft and fit perfectly in your own.

“How about this: Earlier was a time crunch situation. So why don’t we do rock-paper-scissors and the three left will go with Y/n to get her things and sign out of the hotel.” Jimin doesn’t let go of your hand as he puts his other hand up, ready to play. It takes some convincing from the others, but eventually, even while Jin is on the phone, the boys all stand in a circle until three men are left.

Jimin can’t help but let out a cry of defeat as Jungkook, Jin, and Hoseok grow triumphant grins and move to your side. You feel bad for the man, still holding onto your hand as you squeeze it in your grasp.

“You can sit next to me when we eat, if you want.” You offer to the upset singer, only for him to grin and begin to brag to the others that you were his buddy for lunch.

Yoongi, despite being a little upset he couldn’t go with you, let Jungkook take his spot next to you, loving the excitement on the maknae’s face as he goes to hold your hand, jumping on the balls of his feet as he waits for Jin and Hoseok to get ready to go.

Next Chapter

[huenjin]

don't wanna be friends.

pairing: hyunjin x reader | bff2l!au, pornstar!au

word count: 3.705 words

tw: pornstar!hyunjin, nsfw content — dick piercing!hyunjin, multiple orgasms, breast play, breath play, fingering, cunnilingus, marking, penetration, unprotected sex, dumbification, slight overstimulation, creampie, mentions of reader masturbating to hyunjin's porn and the porn explained in detail.

music rec: damage is done | devin hoffman.

note: this was an nsfw ask originally but it got way past the limit, so tada, made it into a oneshot. if anyone was wondering why it's in this format/theme. unedited, like every other work of mine.

you gulp down the next shot under hyunjin's watchful supervision. you've lost count of the shots you have taken and hyunjin has lost count of how many times he has told you to stop, that you are drinking too much.

"he told me that i can't fuck right. that i should at least pretend to fake it to satiate him," you scoff, another tear rolling down from the brim of your eyes and hyunjin wraps his arms around you, pulling into him to comfort you. "i can't— jinnie, i just don't come when he fucks me. i— maybe something is wrong with me. maybe i just can't orgasm when someone—"

"hush," hyunjin slowly taps your back to keep your thoughts shut. "there's nothing wrong with you, minion. you're fine." he pushes your big round spectacles up, calling you by the name he's always teased you with.

you slam the shot glass down, eyes groggy and head woozy from all the drinks you've gulped down. you lean forward, eyes wide open, glasses sliding down as you look closely at your best friend.

hwang hyunjin is attractive. you've always known your best friend is attractive. his bright eyes that light up at the sight of his dog, kkami, running to him right after you cuddled kkami forever. or the way his face morphs into one of disgust when you threaten to put eggplants into his plate. or the way he'd cuddle you when the weather gets too cold. hyunjin is attractive, both in looks and behaviour.

beyond this, your best friend, hwang hyunjin, is insatiable in the eyes of many women and men, including yours. a pornstar by profession, he knows the ways around women, having them come undone in his hold in minutes — you refuse to believe it's orchestrated. you know how he is in bed or at least what the biz wants him to exhibit and that alone has you trembling.

and to make matters worse in your end, you've orgasmed only once your whole life and that was during the time when you played with yourself while stumbling upon his porn (you were randomly searching for one and the temptation to watch your best friend just exceeded everything).

you knew his profession for so long — hyunjin told it to you over a glass of wine that you spat onto his white shirt the minute he told you about it. the conversation was never spoken about after that.

until today.

"what are you doing, minion? damn," he chuckles, "you really look like a minion with those glasses."

you still once you close in on hyunjin. hands on his chest, eyes fixated on his, you lick your lips and hyunjin's eyes widen, eyes unknowingly trailing downwards till he has to tear his gaze away, reminding himself that it's you, that it's his best friend.

"do you want to fuck me?" liquid courage, indeed.

"you must be kidding me?"

"why? you do this regularly."

hyunjin shoves you away, pushing you back against the couch. his eyes narrows on your figure and you fold your arms. he huffs, eyes glaring at you before looking away. he stretches his arm to take a glass and pour himself a drink, gulping it down and feeling the much needed burn in his throat.

"why?" you whine. "jinnie, that's your job. fuck me. you don't mind it. i'll just be one of those girls."

"i do mind it," he raises his voice. "you're not just one of those girls. fuck, y/n, you're the only constant in my life. why would i fuck that up?"

you bite your lower lip, eyes watering at the rejection suddenly. your drunkenness is what stirs the emotional side in you and your heart is heavy. you just want to be able to fuck like everyone else, just want to feel the bliss your friends talk about, the euphoria they reach.

"wait, are you going to cry?"

"no," you bite your tongue from letting out the sob. "i won't cry. you're not the first guy to reject me. this is normal. no one wants to—"

"y/n."

"—fuck me. who would want to fuck the girl that can't orgasm, let alone fake one?" you let out a fake laugh, tears finally rolling down your eyes.

"oh goodness," hyunjin sighs. he pulls you into him for a hug, rubbing your back soothingly. "you're my best friend, y/n. i shouldn't—"

"i want you to," you look up at him. hyunjin heaves in a huge breath. it catches in his throat as he looks down at you. god, he loves you. he has loved you for years now but who would want to be in a relationship with a guy who fucks girls for a living? not anyone sane. you deserve better. fuck, you deserved so much better than him.

yet, his heart won't stay still. his mind won't stop racing with thoughts he shouldn't normally have about his best friend. heavens, you have hyunjin wrapped around your finger and you don't even know it.

"y/n, don't—"

hyunjin loses his last bit of control over your proposition the minute you place your lips over his. it's exactly as he has envisioned. soft, delicate and everything that kept him away from breaking. you capture his bottom lip, kissing him softly, hands trailing under his sweater. hyunjin feels the goosebumps rising up, your warmth seeping into his. it takes everything in hyunjin to keep his hands away.

you pull away, catching your lower lip with your teeth before letting go and looking away, "you won't even kiss me back. am i that worse? do i kiss bad? jinnie, i just want to be—"

hyunjin has his hands on your face, turning it for you to look at him before he has his lips crashing down on yours, taking your breath away. you heave, breath hitching and you gasp.

hyunjin is aphrodite. the very reincarnation of sin. he creeps into you just as you expected, crawling into your mind and captivating every single sense of yours. your hands are in his hair, tugging at the roots and moving against his body. his hand sprawls over your neck and his thumb presses into the neck, rubbing slow circles. he kisses the top of your lips, your hands tugging at his sweater and you are moaning into his mouth.

you pull away for a second, fingers digging into his clothes, tugging at it to be thrown away and hyunjin obliges. helping you out of yours too, the two of you face each other stark naked. you take him in for the divinity he is in your head, eyes trailing down to his slightly erect dick and you gasp.

it's true. the videos don't lie. he is bigger than you had seen, girth firmer than you had envisioned and the frenum piercing has you salivating. it shines under the lighting, your eyes unable to drift away from it, lips parted slightly and heavens, hyunjin can't take his eyes away from you either. was this what he was missing out all this while in the name of friendship?

his lips are back on yours, your breasts firm against his chest as his cock rubs against your inner thigh. it's messy, heavy and has you panting for breath, chasing after his tongue, wrapped around yours like they never want to let go.

quicksand. this is quicksand. you're falling in too quick; falling into everything hyunjin has to offer way too quickly. and you love it. your mind is rid of thoughts. just hyunjin, hyunjin, hwang hyunjin. he pushes back, still kissing you heavily, till your back hits the soft covers of the couch and he's hovering over you.

hyunjin's tongue licks your lower lip, causing you to moan and he's groaning at the sensation, pulling apart for air few minutes later. he cups your face, thumb brushing the side and you lean into his palm.

"i— we should—"

"no, please don't stop," you beg. "not now. please. we're in too deep to stop."

"but y/n—"

"please fuck me, jinnie. fuck me like you fucked soojin."

hyunjin's eyes widens and he pulls away from you. looking at you as if he's staring into your soul, he gulps. "how did you—" his cheeks redden. "wait—" you bite your lower lip. hyunjin pulls the rubber band that holds his hair up, causing the silver strands to fall forward. he runs his finger through it, pushing it back as he holds it tightly to focus. "you watched my porn."

you gulp, lips drying up and you nod, running your mouth quickly to justify yourself. "i did. it was supposed to be a one time thing but—" you look away. "—i touched myself to that. i fingered myself to you fucking soojin and it's the only time i came."

if hyunjin has been just losing it all this while, now, he has lost it completely. his eyes darken, a light growl leaving his lips as he holds your legs and pulls you closer into his kneeling self. you groan slightly in his grip.

"you want me to fuck you like i fucked soojin?"

"yes—"

"want me to fuck you like some doll, huh?" he bends forward, kissing your neck, sucking at the skin till they stain purple to his pleasure. hyunjin marks you all the way to your breasts, covering your skin with both dark and light marks as you repeatedly confirm, "yes, yes, yes."

hyunjin pulls away, staring at you almost tauntingly, licking his lips and running his hand through his hair. he drops the words like they are heavy. "tell me then. tell me what i did and i'll do the same to you, just like you wished."

"you fuck—"

"no," he shakes his head. "in detail. from the very first scene. you'll get only what you ask for. nothing more. nothing less. so, go on, doll. tell me."

the power you hold is insane. you do not know how to use it, however. having never been given this much power, you look at your best friend for a while before slowly telling him. the words seem foreign to you but if this is how it is going to be, and if this helps you come, you're doing it.

"y-you kissed her first." your voice is barely audible. like you're telling hyunjin a secret. hyunjin catches your lips yet again, tongue presses against your lower lip before he slips it in, tangling it with yours as he kisses you. you moan, eyes closing as your hand wrap around his axle, hands pressed on his back. your fingers plays with the few strands of his silver dyed hair at the nape. he pulls back, waiting for you to continue.

with a little more confidence and the huge amount of liquid courage in you, you demand, "you marked her up like you just did to me. i hate that you marked her up. i hated it so much but turned me on."

hyunjin sucks a hickey right above your breast, speaking into your skin, "you hated it, doll?"

"yes. wanted it to be me." hyunjin's teeth grazes your skin and you moan, "fuck." your fingers pull his hair lightly and hyunjin grunts, teeth biting into your skin, making a dark mark that has you arch your back and your thigh to rub against his cock.

"what else did you see me do, doll?" his mouth trails further down to your breast and you gasp.

"you sucked on her breasts. played with it harshly." hyunjin abides by it, sucking on your breasts, tongue lapping around your nipples and drawing out circles by it. "yes, yes— fuck, jinnie, oh my—" hyunjin finds it seductive as fuck that you never complete your sentences as you moan. and he wants you like that — barely being able to say words besides his name. that's all he needed to hear.

"you played with soojin's other breast at the same time like—" his hand is already on your right breast. it pinched the nipple, twisting it between his thumb and forefinger. the pain shoots up and it clouds your senses, causing you to grind on his cock. your arousal leaks through you, and you feel yourself grow wetter with every single flick of hyunjin's tongue.

his right hand is still on your breast, his lips trail downward. your breath hitches in your throat and you let out a shortened sigh as he breathes lowly against your skin, kissing it before landing right in front of your core, wet with want for the man before you.

"so fucking wet and what for, doll?"

"your cock, oh my god. jinnie, want your cock in me. please." you beg, writhing in his hold as he grabs your breast, fondling it in his hold.

"that's not what i did in that video. go on, continue." it's stern with command and has you spitting out the next in sequence instantly.

"you—" hyunjin is playing with your nipples as he waits for you to speak. his finger twist and turn your nipples and you're squeezing your thighs together in this intense pleasure. "fuck, can't think, jinnie. i don't know. i—"

"no, no," he hushes. kissing your pubic mound and licking small stripes, he mumbles, "you have to remember the only porno that had you come, right?"

"you—" you feel his warm breath all over your core and a gush of arousal oozes out. "you had your mouth on her pussy. you ate her out till she came, oh my god. you ate her out—"

"well done, doll." and his lips are on your wet ones. he licks at the lips, pushing it apart as he takes in your arousal, lapping in to take it all. it's merciless. and if you thought his porn was intense, you forgot all about how hyunjin himself was a walking pornography. the way his tongue licks your lips, tip teasing your entrance as he rubs your clit, slowly. he draws small circles over it, tapping at the engorged button till your toes curl in, knees lift up to bend for your feet to press down. your eyes are squeezed shut and your fingers pull at his hair every time you feel the knot tightening.

the room is filled with lewd noises and your moans, resonating through the whole area for you to hear it out in the silence. it's pornographic. the voices you make resemble those that you heard. hyunjin licks another stripe up your sodden lips before wrapping the plump pair around your clit and sucking on it, loud noise of suckle resonating and causing you to move your hips slightly.

his teeth grazes over your clit, nibbling slightly till you feel the knot clench in your stomach. it's a vortex forming deep within and from the one time experience you have, you know. it's coming. you're so close. hyunjin rubs your clit furiously, mouth moving back your lip as he eats you out. he pulls apart right when he knows you're soon to come and in a second, two of his fingers are deep within you, rubbing against your inner walls and you're crying out his name just like he wanted.

it's hyunjin, hyunjin, hyunjin. that's all he can hear — his name dripping in saccharine from your mouth, topped with all those insatiable moans that leave your lips and hyunjin quickens his pace. the two fingers thrust in and out of you, finding the spot and rubbing at the walls to elicit a particular reaction — hyunjin is searching. searching for that one spot that will have you ruined for him.

"fuck, oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, what—"

the minute he touches a particularly soft area, he has you grinding down on him, chanting his name like a mantra and he knows — hyunjin's found your spot. he rubs it as he curves his fingers, having you arch further into him. he sucks on your clit, fingers thrusting in you relentlessly.

and you come undone so easily that it's a surprise how your ex couldn't do this for you. you see the white under your eyelids as you come undone. hyunjin helps you ride it out. he removes his fingers and licks you clean, taking in every single drop of your orgasm.

"told you that you were perfect," he says, looking at you and smiling. he kisses your mound as he lifts your hips up. "you're the most perfect human being ever. so how in the world could anything be wrong with you?" he wipes away the tears rolling down your eyes, as an effect from the intensity of the orgasm you went through. "so, doll, now tell me what else did i do?"

your mind is blank. you can't think of anything. your mind is filled with just the man before you in all his naked glory and how you just want him. "want you, jinnie. please. i want your dick. please want that."

"that's not the answer to my question," he huffs. "did i not lift her legs up like this?" he lifts your legs and places it over his shoulders. his erect cock is angled right and he rubs the head all over your wetness. you hitch and whine, stuttering how much you want him. "did i fuck my doll dumb? did i fuck out all your brains, baby? oh no. should i fuck you more? can you answer that, doll?"

you nod, lips parting. "want jinnie's dick. want it. want it in me."

"as you wish, doll," and he inserts it into you, pushing your walls apart with his fingers till he thrusts completely into you. his piercing underneath his shaft drags against your walls, the cold metal adding the extra sensation that tingles your nerves. his large hands hold your hips up, your ankles hitting his back bone everytime he thrusts into you. he uses his one hand to hold your wrists together above you as he hits your spot over and over again. the friction of his big cock and the frenum piercing is all too much right after one orgasm. the stimulation is over bearing and you know why the girl in the video has her eyes roll up, tongue out and lips swollen.

hyunjin plunges into you and you gush all over his cock, coating almost all of his length with your arousal. hyunjin is barely in but he is already hitting your spot, hot tip brushing against it vicariously and the frenum piercing cold against it. the friction is enough to have the knot tighten so fast and hard that you know this is going to overpower you. hyunjin lets go of you wrists but you hold them above you obediently. his hand trails to hold your breast, squeezing it and fondling with it; the other holding your legs up securely.

with every thrust, his piercing drags against your walls and his balls slap against your cheeks. tears spill down your face as you scream loudly, "jin-ah, fuck. jinnie, jinnie, jinnie. it's too much, oh my god. i can feel it. oh—"

"you're taking it like a good, good doll for me. you can take more. i know you can." he takes his cock out. he wraps his fingers around it and dragging it across your slit and your core, the frenum piercing rubbing against it and you're ready to snap again.

and without any warning, he enters into you again, this time harshly and with a quicker pace. it is fast and hard and has you gripping onto him for the life of yours, your hands moving to hold his biceps, fingers digging into it. hyunjin fucks you like he wants to take you to heaven and back. like he wants to show you everything you are missing out and that there's nothing wrong with you. it's the men. always the men.

"going to fuck you and show you how you should be fucked. how you should be getting it. going to fuck you dumb, doll and have you be mine."

he doesn't stop. hyunjin is grunting and huffing as he thrusts repeatedly in you, his pubic bone hitting your clit and causing short sorts of heightened sensations.

"jinnie! i'm coming. i'm coming. oh fuck, i'm—"

second one in a span of few hours. if you could think properly, you would be surprised at how you came twice. it's surprising that you've come thrice so far in your whole life and all three times were to be credited to hwang hyunjin, your best friend.

you come around his cock, the white flash spreading under your eyelids and you are weeping. you feel the rushing oxytocin clouding your brain as you clench tightly on his cock. hyunjin doesn't stop however, as he chases after his own high, thrusting even faster if it were possible and overstimulating you. in a few minutes, hyunjin is coming in you. hot white spurts of his cum coating your insides as he thrusts his orgasm out, only to pull it out eventually and have his white come and yours poze out and stain the couch.

your eyes are shut and you are panting heavily, chests rising and hyunjin brushes your hair away from your face, wiping the sweat that has accumulated by your forehead. he places your legs down and mumbles, "you okay, minion?"

"hm," you respond. that's all you can say. you were too fucked out to think or do anything. hyunjin chuckles and slowly getting off the couch, he carefully lifts you up into his arms. you snuggle into his chest, wrapping your arms around him. "where are we going?"

hyunjin barely hears you question with how soft it was. you repeat and it is the second time that he hears it perfectly.

"going to clean you up and rest you in bed. you need to sleep well now." you nod, snuggling further into his chest as he carries you into his bedroom.

hyunjin's wrong, though. when he wondered how in the world anything could be wrong with you, he clearly knew there is something wrong with you.

you are too dense to ever realise how deep his feelings are for you.

[thefirsttree]

A personal update + my next game

OK, time to do this. I’ve been meaning to do a big DAVID WEHLE™ update for a while now and explain why I haven’t released a new game yet, but you know how life gets in the way. Especially when life is a quarantine hellscape, you have three beautiful, amazing, exhausting kids to raise, a spouse’s job you support, a viral YouTube channel that turns your brain to mush, a thousand emails waiting in your inbox since your game is free on the Epic Games Store (with an impressive number of redemptions too! … meaning lots of emails and customer support issues), etc., etc. What also contributes to my lack of updates is because… I just don’t really like posting online. Fascinating correlation, I know!

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a venting/ranting blog post (well, maybe a bit), because my life is seriously AMAZING and INSANELY BLESSED and LUCKY. I can’t believe how many dreams keep coming true, so much so that I feel I don’t deserve it and I really pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes… but I did want to at least be honest, because I owe that to myself.

Wow, where do I even begin? Well, how about we start with the reason I’m even a full-time indie game dev now: The First Tree. This small hobby project I worked on at night morphed into this gargantuan beast (or fox) that took over my life the past 5 years. Which is great! I’m living the dream! And yet, I really didn’t expect it to do as well as it did. At its core, my game is a slow-paced, sad walking simulator (ahem, I prefer the term “exploration game,” but you know what I mean) that somehow seemed to launch at the right time to the right audience. It resonated deeply with some of you, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I still get emails almost daily how my game changed their lives in some formative way. I’m beyond honored.

However, with that spotlight came criticism and demands from the ever-present, insatiable internet. I would randomly be surfing the gamedev subreddit trying to decompress, and I would see a comment by some rando saying how much I didn’t deserve my success, and how it was all one huge lucky fluke. And I believed them!

And to add to it, some devs considered me an indie marketing “guru”, which I was uncomfortable with. I worked hard to market my game every week, and after my GDC talk, people assumed marketing was my passion; the reason I got up every morning. Just to clarify… NO, I don’t like marketing, and I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like asking people for money and wishlists. But I did what was necessary because I was passionate about telling stories, and I wanted to give my story a fighting chance to be seen on the crowded pages of Steam.

So now, you’re probably wondering “well then David, why did you make fancy YouTube videos showing off your success? Not very modest if you ask me.” This honestly could be a long blog post all on its own, because my experience of putting myself in the spotlight and becoming a “content creator” is… complicated. It was an unusual step for me, especially since I never even showed my face online (as a game developer) until my GDC talk.

First off, I always wanted to teach and start a YouTube channel. I love video editing, especially since I’ve been doing it longer than making games! It’s a huge passion of mine. And teaching people who didn’t know they could make and finish games was a huge motivator (and it’s been so rewarding already). But the second reason is, I was scared. I was self-employed, and I was riding the success of a “huge lucky fluke” that would probably not happen again. I wanted to make sure I could provide for my amazing family, and give them food and health insurance and security in these tumultuous times. I was turning my lifelong passions and hobbies into a business, and it wasn’t as simple of a mental transition as I thought.

So, I went all in on YouTube and the accompanying online course called Game Dev Unlocked. I spent years editing the scripts and videos, and polishing them to a shine. At first, no one watched my videos, no one was buying… and in the blink of an eye, the YouTube algorithm picked up my main autobiographical video (“How Making Indie Games Changed My Life”), and I started getting 5,000 subscribers a day. Right now, I’m at 150,000 subs, which is still hard for me to believe. I always had a dream of earning 100k subs on YouTube, so I was pretty happy with the whole thing. Sales were OK, but mostly people didn’t want to buy the course. Then the emails came in…

Something you should know about me: I am a textbook “people pleaser,” and if someone asks for my help, I take it very seriously. If someone is mad at me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all I can think about, and it ruins my day. So, taking an onslaught of people begging for help and multiplying that by an impossible amount of people for my brain to truly comprehend thanks to the internet… and let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy mix.

I received thousands of emails from people who were begging me for some kind of reassurance that everything would be OK. That their dreams would come true too. And I wanted to help every single one of them. I went from a nobody working on a game for fun to becoming a spokesperson for the indie game dream. I couldn’t even get a shake from the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru without someone recognizing me and asking for game dev advice. And it didn’t stop there… I would get emails from suicidal kids asking for help, teenagers from Afghanistan asking me to get them out of their country, and on one occasion I received an email from a hopeful game developer in a war-torn country who had just experienced a bomb blowing up their neighboring village. His friends were dead, and he was hoping he could finish a game before he died too, and he needed my help. How do you say no to something like that? Didn’t I owe it to everyone because I was lucky with my hit game and I needed to “pay it forward”? (Something people constantly reminded me of)

And then to top it off, after you’ve given everything you’ve got to other people in need… you get hate mail in your inbox. You spend the whole day serving your children and strangers on the internet, then when the kids are finally asleep, you hit the bed to relax and take a look at your phone to decompress, and you randomly come across an angry gamer in your Twitter mentions telling you your game they got for free sucks, and that you took away a potentially great game from them and that your apology isn’t good enough.

Long story short, I went to a mental therapist for the first time in my life. I was broken trying to care for two toddlers and a new baby in a pandemic (which is very, very hard), taking care of my course students who gave me their hard-earned money and demanded results, and the countless people begging for help on the internet. I was this introverted, internet-lurker trying to take on the weight of the world. I was so tired and hurt that no one cared about me and my needs… only what I could do for them.

Quitting my day job and making this hobby my full-time job has stirred up… mixed emotions. This statement may disturb some of you, but I was definitely 100% happier when I had a full-time job and I was working on my game at night. I missed working with the amazing team at The VOID, working on Star Wars… back when the success of my game was this abstract thing I could only daydream about. Mostly, I was making my game for me with no outside expectations to pay the bills or satisfy the ever-demanding internet, and that brought me a lot of joy.

It’s not all doom and gloom though! I’m actually very happy now and in the best shape I’ve been since the pandemic started. I’ve had to confront my weaknesses and personality quirks, but I’m a better person for it (and I’m sure these issues would’ve come out eventually). I hired an awesome community manager for Game Dev Unlocked who is helping SO MUCH with the emails, I can’t even tell you the mental burden it alleviates. I even leased a co-working office to help separate work from my home, and that’s been a huge help too. I’ve decided to work with my old friends from The VOID on a cool, new VR experience. It will take me away from my projects a bit, but I’m ecstatic to work with a great team again (and not manage anything, whew).

These are all things I would’ve never guessed I needed, because I thought I knew myself pretty well… turns out I didn’t.

The reality is: running a business is HARD. Running it solo is even harder. You have to remember, I was burnt out on The First Tree well into the Steam release in 2017, but I kept working on it for 4 more years due to my fears of failing again and not earning enough money for my family.

So, I was wrestling with the age-old concept of commercialism and art. There was this dichotomy of doing whatever I wanted and being true to my vision (what most people assume the indie dev dream is like), and doing only what customers wanted to buy. This is something that has killed me with YouTube… in one specific instance, I was super excited to make the exact video I wanted to make. I loved every part of its creation, and I thought it had a message that would inspire everyone. I lovingly edited it over several weeks, posted it, and excitedly waited for the stats… and it was by far my worst performing video.

This is not a new problem. Even the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo was a commission forced upon him by the very violent Pope Julius II. My wife and I regularly talk about the fine balance between artistic integrity and commercialism, a problem she is very familiar with as an artist who constantly needs to balance what she wants to make with what the customer wants to hang up in their home.

For The First Tree, I was lucky. It was pretty much what I wanted to make (I had to compromise a lot of things of course), and it turned out millions of people wanted it too. Recently, I thought the safe business decision would be to do it all over again, so I started work on a spiritual successor to The First Tree (an idea that I may revisit one day since I do love the story idea). But that isn’t happening anytime soon. Trust me when I say I am now currently burnt out on animal exploration games.

So that realization left me with a question: what do I do next?

I’ve decided I need to make a game that I want to make, for me. It will be a bit different and I’m almost certain most fans of The First Tree will not love it… but it’s an idea that gets me super excited. It’s an idea that could help me fall in love with game development again.

A few more details: this game will be story-driven, first-person, and will use the Unreal Engine. That means development is gonna be slow going, because I have to learn a whole new tool. The “smart business” decision would be to make something quickly in Unity which I’m already familiar with… but I want to do this for me, and UE5 looks like a lot of fun. I’m also shooting for an early-ish release date so I avoid burn out and I keep the game short: I want to release it in Fall 2022, but knowing game development, it will probably take longer.

With the help of my therapist, I’ve also concluded that I’ve been too accessible on the internet and that my self-worth isn’t determined by the amount of people I try to help online. Of course, I love helping people and seeing them succeed, but I need to step back and focus on my family and myself. I will delete my social media apps on my phone (I will still post big updates occasionally) and stop responding to most emails, tweets, DMs, etc. It’s not that I’m ungrateful… in fact, if I don’t say thank you or at least acknowledge the incredibly nice people who share a sweet message about my game or want to tell me how I inspire them (still hard for me to believe, lol), I feel a ton of guilt… but I need to let that go. Please know I’m extremely grateful to all the fans who follow my work, so even if I don’t thank you directly, I truly mean it: thank you.

I will still post and stream occasionally on YouTube when I want to (and I still do live Q&A’s for my GDU students). The online course sales will help support my family as I work on a potentially risky game idea (and my new job will help alleviate the risk too). I’m gonna try one more marketing experiment and sell a mini-course soon (and add an Unreal section), and after that I’m done working on it. A gigantic thank you to the people who bought my course and are part of the amazing community, it has helped me and my family tremendously, and it’s inspiring seeing the games you make!

I’m a bit worried about the whole thing since this new game idea could flop, which could definitely affect my family. But a sappy, high-school yearbook quote is coming to mind…  I think it applies here: “A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are built for.”

Thanks for reading,

David

[sloppyplanetary]

Holding On to Fate, Chapter One

rating: mature (smut later), pairing: rick sanchez/morty smith, tags: memory loss, angst, summer knows, intergalactic road trip, content warnings: drinking, puking implied,

Morty groaned, face contorting into a grimace as he slowly woke up to a pounding headache. Sleep dragged at his eyelids, protesting the morning light shining through his bedroom window. He really didn't want to wake up- he was having such a good dream. The dream was already fading from his memory, but the warmth of a body, the feeling of security, and lingering rough fingers drawing patterns on his back remained, a much better alternative to Morty's current dry mouth and throbbing head.

But, all good things must come to an end. His mom opened his door and softly called his name.

"Morty? You awake?"

He rubbed his face and cracked open his eyes begrudgingly. "Barely." 

Beth's brow was pinched, face displaying a rare level of concern. She opened the door wider, and spoke quietly. "Hey, if you want to take today off from school, you can." She paused, seeming to debate her next words. "You don't have to talk about it. But remember, I know how it feels." 

Morty held in a snort as she left the room. He doesn't remember much of anything that happened last night, but his hangover made it obvious. Of course she knows how it feels, with all the wine she drinks. 

Morty felt a wave of bitterness. It was nice of her to not bug him about school, but she didn't even question why her sixteen year old son got drunk last night. Wait- why did he get drunk? He tried to remember what happened yesterday, but was hit with a fresh wave of nausea, barely jerking out of his bed and into his bathroom on time. 

Fifteen minutes later, he padded downstairs with a freshly brushed mouth in search of advil. The family was seated at the kitchen table, and their conversation abruptly stopped as soon as he rounded the corner. They all looked up at him, Summer off of her phone. 

"W-what?" Morty demanded, his patience wearing thin from dealing with his pounding head.

Summer raised her eyebrows. "Surprised you're still here."

"Where else would I- would I be? Mom gave me the day off of school." He took a seat across from Summer, noticing for the first time how big the kitchen table was. Surely they didn't need that many chairs- it was only the four of them, after all.

She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Beth hissing her name. Summer shot her a glare, and Jerry, sensing the rising tension, spoke up. 

"Well I, for one, am glad you're okay, you’re doing okay. Have some pancakes,” he said, gesturing to the stack on the table.

Morty glanced between Beth and Summer, who were still having an argument through facial expressions only, but he was too tired to deal with this. He grabbed a few pancakes and started eating them, tuning out the room. His mind wandered back to yesterday, trying to grab onto the last thing he remembered, but his head still hurt too much. Suddenly, the chair next to him being empty made him uneasy. He really just wanted to go lay back down and nap. Sighing, he pushed his half-eaten plate away and stood up.

“Wait,” Beth said. She went to the kitchen and returned with a blue gatorade and two small pills, holding it out to him. “Take these and drink this, it’ll help.”

Morty stared at it, a pit in his stomach telling him not to drink it, the color making his head swim worse. “Do we have any other flavors?”

Beth retracted her hand in surprise. “This is your favorite type. It has been for years.”

“Sometimes thing just- they just change,” Morty replied with a shrug.

Beth nodded and switched it out for a purple one. This time, Morty accepted it, and chugged half of it in one go. “Thanks, Mom. I’m going back to bed.” He slowly made his way back up the stairs, pulled his curtains shut, and fell into bed, only to land on something hard. He shook his blanket out to discover a strange small metal flask, the sight of which triggered another throb of his head. The empty flask got tossed across the room into the dirty clothes pile, and Morty finally laid down, sleep quickly reclaiming him.

*****

Morty still couldn’t remember what happened that day, and it made him a bit uneasy, but he wrote it off as getting black-out drunk. His headache faded, and he was back at school, going through the classes on rote. His nights were spent playing video games and watching t.v., but the feeling that something was missing from his routine lingered each night as he tried to sleep. Sleep was hard to come by, and his dreams kept repeating, fading as soon as he woke up but leaving those same feelings of comfort.

Summer was back to normal, Jerry was Jerry (albeit seeming happier for some reason), but Beth seemed like she was constantly tip-toeing around Morty. Her bottles of wine still made appearances at night, and occasionally, Morty would be the cause of an abrupt conversation end just by showing up in the room. It was frustrating, but he tried to ignore it.

One night, Beth cornered him, already a few glasses of wine in. "Listen, I know you don't want to talk about Rick leaving, but it hurt me too. At least he told you to your face, instead of leaving a note."

"What? W-who?" Morty asked, suddenly lightheaded.

Beth just laughed, an airy laugh that felt out of place. "Right. 'Just don't think about it'." She patted his head and walked off, still giggling.

Morty shook his head and retreated to his room. Beth's confusing behavior was worrying him a bit, and he had no clue who she was talking about, but his recurring minor headaches were worrying him more at the moment. It seems like they randomly come and go, without any obvious reason, and he was sick of it.

As he sat on his bed, his eyes landed across the room on the strange silver flask he found in his bed. His headache worsened, but this time he was angry, and stomped across the room the grab the stupid thing. He jerked it up and a splash sounded- it wasn't completely empty like he thought it was.

Curiously, he screwed open and sniffed it. It didn't smell like any alcohol he's ever smelled before, or anything familiar at all, really. It smelled like a thousand things that he's smelled before but couldn't identify now, even though he knew he hadn't. His head throbbed, but he didn't care. He had to taste it

Morty pressed his tongue to the opening and tilted it up, just looking for a drop. He quickly moved his tongue and chugged the rest of the flask when liquid practically melted on his tongue, tasting sweet and warm and comforting and almost immediately making his head stop pounding. He smiled, feeling at ease for the first time in two weeks, and laid on his pillow, empty flask in hand.

*****

Last night after the flask incident he actually got a full amount of sleep, and was staying after school in the library today, when Jessica approached him.

“Hey, Morty,” she said, smiling.

“Oh, J-Jessica! Hi.” Morty shut his book and stood up, waving at her. Maybe it was just a part of getting older, but recently, he hadn’t been getting the same waves of butterflies in his stomach that he used to get any time she came near. “What’s up?”

“Well, I’m free tomorrow, and that new science fiction movie is coming out, and I know you're like, into that stuff."

Morty nodded, confused, not remembering when he'd given her that assumption but rolling with it.

"So anyway, me and a bunch of friends are going to it, and we wanted to invite you."

A weird feeling spread through his body. It wasn't the same giddy anticipation he would've gotten a year ago, and the change threw him off. Did his crush just… go away?

"Earth to Morty," Jessica prompted.

"Haha, sorry, was trying to- to remember if I had something planned for-for tomorrow or not," Morty lied. "But I don't, so, sounds good!"

"Alright, cool! Well, I have your number, so I'll text you the deets later."

"You do?" Morty asked.

Jessica looked at him strangely. "Yeah, don't you remember that whole Healthy Morty situation?"

He didn't, but didn't want to make Jessica think he was dumb, so he nodded and laughed. "Oh yeah, that's good then! Yeah, just call- just text me whenever. Bye!" 

She waved and left the library. Morty's smile faded as she disappeared out of sight. Healthy Morty? Sci-fi enthusiast? Beth avoiding him, her saying something about someone named Rick, the strange flask, whatever Summer was going to say on that first day before she got cut off- his growing feeling of unease over the past two weeks peaked, leaving only one conclusion.

Something was wrong. Something was missing from his memories, and Beth knew what it was. Probably Summer, too. Jerry was debatable, but Morty figured his best bet was to ask Summer first. 

He grabbed his bag and nearly ran out of the library, eager to get answers.

[fyeah-bangtan7]

V: “I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself”

As he’s being interviewed, V speaks his mind at a relaxed pace. But there was one moment where he kept on speaking without taking a breath. Look for that moment in the interview below. You listen to a lot of old music on vinyl. Has any particular artist’s music excited you since your last interview with Weverse Magazine? V: I was listening to Louis Armstrong’s music again. And I picked up some albums with a pretty jacket that’s also got a lot of really good hits on it.

How do you feel when you’re listening to those classics? V: I feel like I’m beginning to relax a bit. If I listen to a song when I’m feeling depressed and then really get thinking, the things that are frustrating me disappear, and I can feel myself becoming more peaceful. And it makes me picture things in my head. For example, some songs might make me think of seeing something in front of me while walking down the road somewhere at night when I listen to them. I think setting the mood for listeners is the most important thing. The mood will presumably be different for everyone, but for me, those songs are the ones that are good at setting a really beautiful mood in the moment.

You said that you got inspiration from artists of the past like Sammy Davis Jr. for your performance in “Dynamite.” Was there any artist who inspired you for “Butter”? V: Well, there was Billy Joel. When I shoot a music video, I think of a movie more than any one artist. And when I perform on stage, for some songs I think of the way movies like Reservoir Dogs look. For “Butter,” I watched a lot of teen movies. And musicals. After that I randomly ended up seeing a video on YouTube of some scenes from an old teen movie Johnny Depp did [which turned out to be the movie Cry-Baby]. The image I got from that was really intense. That’s the look I used in “Butter.”

“Butter” felt like a teen musical to me and now I know why. V: I did it like a teen musical, just like you say. When we shot the “Butter” music video, I really, really tried to shoot the part in the elevator so it would feel like a teen movie. Although a lot of takes were edited, so not all of it’s there. (laughs)

What kind of feeling do you get from that kind of teen movie that you find so charming? V: For me, teen movies show a youthfulness that’s appropriate for the age. I think there’s an appropriate mix of emotion, energy, and a completely different and peculiar mood that everyone necessarily experiences at that age. If you watch teen movies, they’re overflowing with energy and full of sunny emotion, but behind it all they’re not as bright as they seem. They are really bright, but the color itself almost feels like some kind of filter. They feel like they have a different filter than other movies, so I tried thinking of teen movies when we shot the music video and put on performances.

That teen movie feeling seems to be divided in two between “Butter” and “Permission to Dance.” By the looks of the thumbnails for the fancam focus videos uploaded to the BANGTANTV YouTube channel, “Butter” seems to showcase a really cool character, while “Permission to Dance” is more teenagers smiling brightly for children. V: The teen movie vibe in “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” are different from one another. We showed the sunny image people usually think of when they think of teen movies in “Permission to Dance.”

Do you think that going with the teen movie vibe influenced your vocals to be the new style that you used? In “Butter,” you still had your signature vocals but without the deep notes, giving them a new feeling. V: That’s because, when we’re given a concept, we have to come up with vocals that fit with the concept. I think my singing style matched up with the concept, so I feel relatively satisfied. There was nothing majorly difficult about actually changing the style itself, since unlike changing your voice, you only have to change your vocal technique. Having said that, even though the notes in “Butter” were high for me, I still hit them! (laughs)

I guess hitting the high notes was your assignment this time around as a vocalist. V: I’ve been working a long time to make up for my weak points. For example, I thought I was weak when it comes to high notes because I sing low parts a lot and I tend to sing in a flowing way. But I had trouble when we were recording “Dynamite” and I had to sing the high notes during the chorus. I got so mad (laughs) so I practiced a lot.

How does it feel to see the results you’re seeing with “Butter” now after all that effort? V: I’m just trying not to rest on my laurels. Like instead of savoring the feeling, I feel like I should go to bed early for everything I have to do the next day? Getting back in tiptop shape quickly is what’s important, so I haven’t really had time to bask in the joy very much. I’m just working hard at the work I had like I always do.In your 

New Year’s greeting on YouTube, you said you regretted not being able to put on the show for ARMY you wanted, and that your 2021 resolution is to “follow my own pace and pattern” when you work on music. Do you think your personal pace and your professional pace are in step this year? V: No. [My professional pace is] fast, so fast. (laughs) We have a lot we have to get ready for since we’re always promoting. It can be challenging sometimes, but in a way, I think it’s also given me a good opportunity to become a little stronger.

I imagine it’s meaningful to do the work for your own songs, because you can slip into your own world. You also made “Blue & Grey” when you were having a hard time, and it consequently became a song that allowed you to empathize with many people and vice versa. Looking back now, what kind of song do you think “Blue & Grey” will be remembered as? V: I think with “Blue & Grey” I just wanted the song to let people know how I was feeling, and how we were feeling, at that time a little better. Obviously everyone was having a hard time, but I think I wanted to share those emotions with ARMY as-is, including the pains we went through in our growth process. And, to put it another way, I think I just felt like making it obvious. (laughs) I thought it was okay to be that obvious, seeing as I couldn’t put those feelings into words. I just hope people could understand how I was feeling; it’s okay if it becomes forgotten later on.

In the “BE-hind Story” interview on YouTube, you talked about the first line of “Blue & Grey”: “Where is my angel?” You explained how, when you have any kind of issue, you close your eyes and wish for your angel to come and think. Are there times when it seems like your angel understands your feelings, as you just mentioned? V: I get a ton of answers by doing it. I’m not religious, but whenever I have some kind of issue, I close my eyes and think about it. Is this right, the way I’m thinking about this, or not? They’re just yes or no questions, like, Does my outfit look good today? Instead of just worrying about what you should do, if you tackle it in the form of a question, you  get a response with the answer.

I guess it could work when you’re looking for inspiration in your life, but what about for your music? In your previous Weverse Magazine interview, you said you make a note whenever you feel something. V: I write in my diary in hopes that it’ll help with writing lyrics and so I don’t forget those feelings. I do it constantly—I open up my diary whenever something comes up. I copy melodies that pop up in my mind, lyrics, and other things from my diary to my notes app temporarily, and when I’m taking a break or I get the urge to work, I open my notes and say, Let’s try this out today, and run over to the studio.

You released “Snow Flower,” featuring Peakboy by V, on Christmas Day. Is that another song you ran to the studio to work on after the feeling came to you? V: For that song, when I was drinking with some older musicians, we were talking about doing a song together, and then we were like, Well, do you think we’ll have time to do that? So we decided to do it right then since everyone was available. My mixtape was delayed, so I at least wanted to play a different song for ARMY, and I thought, since I’m a bit tipsy (laughs) I thought I should try writing something. So I made the song really quickly. In maybe three hours.

Even though you made it quickly, the composition is somewhat complex and it has the same unique atmosphere that “Blue & Grey” did. V: There’s times when I’m, like, in the zone (laughs) and can make a song all in one sitting, but when I’m not feeling it, I end up revising it more and more. And I don’t want the composition to be too obvious, so I try to change up the way the melody flows. With that kind of sharp image coming to you almost immediately, what were you imagining for that song? V: You might think “Snow Flower” is about a type of snowflake, but I was actually thinking about snow and flowers separately. I started hoping that flowers wouldn’t wither away and just keep on blooming on snowy days. But in reality, when it snowed, all the flowers were crushed, the world became blanketed in snow, and I felt like the flower buds turned into snow flowers. I wrote that song about how I felt after watching that happen.

It must be important to feel things intuitively when you’re trying to express yourself through song. V: If it sounds pretty to me: approved. (laughs)

On the other hand, as a member of BTS, you have a job where you have to deal with a packed schedule and keep various situations in mind. How does that make you feel? When you celebrated your Billboard Hot 100 win on V LIVE and the topic of your clothes came up, you joked that you wore them to give off an idol vibe. V: It’s fun. It’s fun, but I could also say it’s hard. The performances are fun. I think idols should shine in a way that’s suitable for their age, and it’s important to do lots of things for fans like ARMY. Not just performances, but also posting pictures, having conversations on social media, making content. We’re artists and idols, so we think each and every one of those things is important. That sentiment won’t change just because we’ve achieved so much success.

You recently held an impromptu event on Weverse for ARMY. V: I’m sure there’s lots of ARMY out there who are tired of not being able to see us in person. But since the only thing we can do for them is to be on stage and stuff, I was worried that we’re not doing enough for them. And I love being able to talk with ARMY so much that now it’s like a habit that I read their posts. I have a thing today. I have a test today. I’m moving today. Somehow I feel better when I hear their stories. When I end up reading things like about how ARMY are living or what kind of lives ARMY have, I can’t help but write a response, and because of that ARMY respond, so I try to become friendlier in a more fun way, too. I want us to be more than the Billboard number one Bangtanies—I want to be ARMY’s partner, their best friend, the friend who’s always by their side when we’re not on stage. It feels like business when I talk about communicating with ARMY. (laughs) I just want to talk with a close friend. I wanna talk with a close friend—that’s exactly how I feel. It’s been a long time since I could see my friend, ARMY. Usually when friends can’t see each other they keep in touch all the time. I can talk about all kinds of things like that with ARMY thanks to the Weverse platform, and because I can hear all about their lives, I think I was able to go on Weverse and hold that kind of event.

You’ve been talking about ARMY nonstop for a few minutes. I was going to ask you how you feel about ARMY, but I think you already answered the question. (laughs) V: They’re just, well, friends I would hate to lose. Friends who seriously give me strength whenever they’re around. Sometimes you find friends like that in life. It’s like that with the other members, and I have other friends who I can share my feelings with. And I have ARMY. So I can’t help but do whatever I can do to make those people smile and make them feel happy.

Well then, is there a song you’ve heard that you want to let ARMY know about? A song that shares your feelings. V: Umm, recently … “No. 1 Party Anthem” by Arctic Monkeys. When I hear that song … I get emotional, somehow. I don’t usually listen to a lot of rock music, but I can instantly feel the band’s emotions with that song. I seriously get goosebumps listening to it, and emotional, and just all kinds of feelings. It’s to the point that, as soon as I hear that song, I think about how I really want to live well.

That song really means a lot to you. V: Actually, I don’t really know what’s up with that song. I don’t even know the lyrics, but I’m quite clear on what sort of emotions the melody and the band’s performance give me.

Don’t you feel like that’s an emotion you want to express to people, as an artist? Like you don’t have to explain your messages in detail? V: I don’t know. I just want to exchange the good, and be the one to embrace the bad. So I have a desire to perfect one cool thing about myself.

So how close do you think you are right now to becoming an artist who has perfected something cool? V: I’ll say 2%. It’ll go up someday later. (laughs)

© source

[socialanxiety-queen]

My thoughts Waverly Hills vid:

Warning: Spoilers!

• Sam’s bumblebee/Charlie brown shirt

• This group is 🔥

• WHATS UP GUYS ITS SAM AND COLBY! A

• Colby running for the dogs, Sam making it a dramatic camera chase

•Colby getting in another coffin

• The fear of snakes is real 😔

• Sam getting on the morgue slab and conquering that phobia one step at a time 😌

• “That’s a sick angle!” I bet Colby I bet

• “I’ll be here one day” Damn Sam that was dark, and for WHAT?

• Spiders, everywhere let me grab my flamethrower.

• Colby screaming over a cricket

• Gotta run from the spiders! 🎶 Sam Golbach debut single

• felt I was about to be brought into a cult as they walked from behind the pillars

• Ball joke

•Kat already looks done 😂

• Timmy plays with small balls ⚽️

• It’s actually quite sad that people jumped, and Colby feeling that oof it just hit me.

• Sam and Colby doing the challenge, things I noted.

There was a growl or scream when Sam approached the bigger ball around 26:47-49.

When Sam already passes the exit sign on his way back up there’s a light around 28:26, perhaps it’s Sam’s phone but he was told to come back up in the dark and he’d already passed by there so why would he randomly turn on his phone light to shine it that way??

REM pod goes off at 28:53 and the way it starts to go off in all directions means there’s multiple kids around it or that’s what I think.

• Colby cheating with a light, but I’d do that too considering I’m not about to fall down some stairs so some ghost kids can laugh at me.

•Sam’s impression of the REM pod

• The kids following them was cute af to be honest

• Built different vs Built better

• Worst thought I had was..what if the Creeper was the one messing with the REM pod pretending to be a kid. Because that growl cry was not a kid..if it wasn’t messing with the rem pod then it was definitely in the distance watching.

•William and his Ghost dogs 🐕

• “That was cool!” Sam being cute

• Those three guys who killed William and his dog, that later got murdered themselves. I don’t feel bad for you, what you three did to that nice old man and his dog was awful and cruel. I hope your afterlife is severely uncomfortable and that William and his dog find peace. People make me sick and sadly this kind of shit will continue to happen no matter how many more centuries are to come.

• The black cat walking by is often seen as a bad omen (though I don’t believe that) but their also seen as wealth and fortune, they can be a familiar to a witch or a witch themselves. Black cats are actually wonderful creatures so please don’t treat them as evil, black cats and dogs are very nice companions as are all other breeds of both.

• I like when Kat is there but I don’t think ghost hunting is her thing, she seems to be uncomfortable and looks done before they even really start. Again Kat is great, I feel Stas might’ve been more excited or at least not as uncomfortable but I haven’t seen her enough to pick up how her vibe about it. Maybe I’m a different kid of girl, I’d be so down to explore there as haunted places are a passion of my fiancé and I’s.

•I’m a little disappointed that Sam and Colby kept saying they were doing the finale video as just the two of them, sucks because they always say their going to do a OG duo vid and never do it. Even their xplr videos have had others in it after they said they missed going alone. At least it’s Josh and Seth I love them in videos, but the disappointment is still there. 😔

• The fact they both say each others names durning the Estes method 🥺😱 These absolutely connected souls. GAH

[ot5ismyhome]

22. I’ll make this feel like home

To read from beginning click here.

*****

Wanda was astonished by the memory of Steve that she had seen. It was something he had never talked about. He had shared with her many memories of him during the war but not this one. Sometimes she noticed that he would look sad while remembering the past but she had brushed it off as missing his old life.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Wanda said softly, gently gripping his shoulder.

“It’s okay. It’s nothing” he said trying to brush off. Wanda noticed the small tear drop at the corner of his eyes. Steve blinked back to avoid crying. Bucky had also noticed the change in Steve’s mood but he was lost on what had happened. When he moved closer to console him, Steve excused himself and left.

“I’m going after him,” Wanda said looking at Bucky.

Bucky nodded.

Wanda went out of the lab to check up on Steve. She found him in a small room. He had his head buried in his hands. Wanda sat close to him and enveloped her hands around his shoulders. He rested his head on her shoulder. After some time passed, he started talking.

“What you saw back there…”

“Hmm”

“That’s before the Council was formed. After the war, a group of mercenaries were the sole power across America. Every one of us regretted fighting the war but some were enraged that they were made to fight. Due to the war many new vampires were created. The older ones despised the newcomers. They decided to kill off the newcomers and establish their own set of rules. Foreigners were allowed to escape.”

“Well, Peggy asked me to save Sousa. She was free to return to Britain while Sousa was taken to be executed. That memory… uh… the one you saw was…”

“When you saved him.”

Steve nodded.

“You did the right thing”.

Steve sighed and looked away. “If it were only that simple” he said more to himself than to Wanda.

After moments of silence, he started talking again. “During the war, I lost Bucky in a mission. Or I thought I lost him. The loneliness was maddening. When the mercenaries came afterwards, I stood against them. I went for days without sleeping or feeding properly. I roamed the streets like a mad man.” New tears streamed down his face. His voice was barely a whisper, “I hoped that one of the fights would be my last.”

Wanda held on to him tightly and let him cry into her shoulders. It hurt her to see him in this state. She consoled him and tried her best to encourage him.

“Jiaying found me one day. Knowing about the state in America she had come here. She saved me. She gave me a purpose. I’m glad I met her.”

“I'm glad that you met her too. Or else I wouldn’t have gotten you as my family.” Wanda kissed his forehead wiping his tears away.

“I’m also glad to have you, kid. And I don’t want to lose you” The words ‘too’ hanged on the air without being uttered.

“You won’t.”

…..

Wanda roamed around the Zephyr in search of Bucky. She wanted to talk to him. She found him assembling the necessary equipment.

“Hey”

“Could I just stay with you?”

“Sure. I didn’t know you liked my company” he teased her.

“Well. Daisy is getting advised by Coulson and Steve and Natasha are busy.”

“I’m the last option? That hurts” he chuckled. Bucky closed the bag containing the field kit. He kept it aside and hopped on the table.

“Spit it out.”

“What?” Wanda looked surprised.

“You want to speak something.” It was more of a sentence than a question.

Wanda had wanted to talk with him. She decided to get it out. “It’s just whenever I look into someone’s mind, I end up bringing bad memories.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not something you are able to control”

“I can’t keep provoking everyone around me.”

“Then learn to control it. Whenever you had used your powers, the other person was emotionally vulnerable.”

“I think I’m done with this. The training was a bad idea”

“Two important things. First, I’m not going to allow you to give up on yourself. And second, the training was my idea. So, don’t blame it” Bucky said the second line with a mock insult making Wanda smile a bit.

“Give it another try, now” he continued.

“You mean?”

“Yeah”

“You are fine with it?”

Bucky nodded with a gentle smile. Wanda hesitantly took his hand in hers. She controlled her mind and tried to enter Bucky’s mind. This time it was easier for her. Wanda’s mind was filled with a similar sensation of cloudiness as she entered his mind. She found herself in an old apartment. She saw Bucky getting ready to go out somewhere. He was checking his appearance in the mirror.

“Come on, Buck. We are getting late” a voice called out to him. Wanda recognised that it was Steve. By Bucky’s clothes and hairstyle, she knew they were in the 40s.

Bucky and Steve shared a hasty kiss before they exited the apartment.

“Where are we going?”

“The future.”

They got into Bucky’s car and Wanda followed them. She had been to 40s memories before but only she was able to observe the things around her. She noticed that the street was filled with war propaganda pamphlets. The posters were stuck in every building. The street was filled with pedestrians rushing through their lives.

Wanda was intrigued by the board reading, ‘World Exhibition of Tomorrow.’ She was delighted when Bucky parked the car and the duo walked out to the expo. She excitedly followed to find that it was Stark Expo. She kept close to the couple not wanting to lose Bucky. They stopped in front of a large stage hosting a shining red car.

From the buzz, Wanda understood that they were waiting for Howard Stark. The crowd burst into cheers when the man of the hour walked onto the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all?” Howard continued, “With Stark Gravitic Reversion Technology, you’ll be able to do just that.” He smiled at the crowd as he pressed the button and pulled up a small level.

The car buzzed and lifted above ground. It hovered in the air making everyone gasp at the marvel in front of them. There was a fizzle followed by a small explosion and the car crashed down.

“I did say a few years, didn’t I?” Howard gave a charismatic smile.

The crowd erupted applauding the genius in front of them. Wanda hollered to show her friend.

“Imagine really living in the future where there are flying cars,” Bucky said looking at Steve.

“Wishful thinking, Buck”

“It’s time. I got to leave.”

“Yeah, I know”

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back” Bucky said his face serious. He walked away slowly.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky shook his head looking at his lover. He walked back and hugged Steve.

“You’re a punk”

“Jerk” Steve called out hugging him back.

The scene dissolved. Wanda felt herself being pulled out of the memory. She looked up at Bucky and gave a smile.

“That is a beautiful memory.”

“Yeah, it is” Bucky grinned like a fool reminiscing the past.

They noticed Steve leaning against the door, his arm folded in the front.

“Hey”

“Hey”

“Still standing here”

Both the men chuckled. Steve ruffled Wanda’s hair and slung his hand around her shoulders.

“Got stuck with her, uh?”

“Hey!” Wanda cried pushing him away. “It was him who convinced me.”

Steve laughed. He asked, “I was thinking of something. Instead of just looking into our memories, you can try showing one’s memory to the other.”

“Is that possible?” Wanda wondered.

“I get where he is going. Like Loki did.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, he saw other’s memories with your aid. Then we could also do that”

“Okay” Wanda smiled with excitation. “So, who’s the scapegoat?” she asked, looking between the two men.

Steve and Wanda exchanged a knowing glance and turned their attention to Bucky.

“You have gotta be kidding me.”

“You agreed to help me.”

Wanda interlinked her hands with the two vampires. She first singled her thoughts and stopped her mind from wandering randomly. She slowly prodded it to enter Bucky’s memories. The Zephyr dissociated and the surrounding started getting clouded. She felt the familiar sensation. Wanda found herself in the back of a small van.

The place was crumpled and barely a place to stand. Various electronic gadgets were scattered around. Bucky and Sam were looking intently at a screen. Wanda noticed it was security footage of Scott going through a building. In the nearby screen, a static image was displayed. The realisation suddenly hit her. She looked back at the screen Scott was seeing. She recognised the place. She tugged on Steve’s sleeve and was surprised when she was able to make contact.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“You can hear me?”

“I did reply. So yeah.”

Wanda playfully nudged him with her elbow. She motioned to the screen and both of them turned their attention to the video of Scott. Steve’s eyes widened as he looked at the all too familiar corridor.

“What is he doing in my company?” Steve cried.

The duo followed Scott’s movements. He expertly disabled the alarms and set out to his destination. He came to halt at the back of the building. He accessed the secret panel in the wall which revealed a hidden door. Scott disabled the lock of the door and went in. He started working on the vault having the Draught.

“Draught of Frost Blood, here I come” Scott commented as he opened the vault.

“Wait! Isn’t it Draught of First Blood” Bucky intervened.

“What? No man.”

“I read it somewhere” Bucky shrugged.

“It doesn’t make sense”

“How does frost make sense?”

“Loki. Winter. Frost.”

“I agree with Bucky in this one” Scott spoke over the comms.

“Enough of chit-chat folks. Scott, take the vial and get your ass back here.”

“Got it.”

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and looked at the screen monitoring Scott’s moves.

“I knew Pym got lucky was just a bunch of bullshit” Steve swore.

Wanda chuckled. After we get out, it's going to be one hell of shit show she thought to herself. She watched Scott open the locker and take out two vials of Draught and pocket it. 

“You never noticed the missing vials?” Wanda smirked.

“Shut up.”

Wanda laughed.

Scott proceeded to close the lock and reset the alarm. He made his way out without any disturbances. Bucky and Sam high fived each other as Scott walked out of the building.

“Now everything is set,” Sam said, pressing some buttons. The original security video started playing and the loop was cut off.

Bucky climbed to the front of the van. Scott took the wheel.

“Where to?” Sam asked from the back.

“Let’s deliver it to Pym, then hit the bar,” Bucky said.

“I’m going to kill him once we get back,” Steve muttered, making Wanda laugh.

“What about our deal?” Scott asked eagerly.

“I will change you once Pym duplicates it” Bucky promised.

“Cool.”

Wanda exited Bucky’s memory taking Steve along with her. They were back in the Zephyr sitting with Bucky.

“Steve, I can explain”

“You jerk,” Steve shouted, chasing Bucky around the lab. Wanda laughed at the playful fight between the two.

*****

 Chapter 23

[nose-bandaid]

Pentagon as Students

trying something new today! i hope you enjoy it, i had a lot of fun writing this:)

~based on the different kinds of people i’ve witnessed at my high school~

=====

JINHO

- that one kid that actually has their shit together

- though on the inside he’s in a constant state of panic

- knows (and meets) all the deadlines and works when he’s supposed to

- but he’s secretly watching his classmates goof around at the same time

- hands in perfect projects, does well on tests, gets good grades,,, others are jealous of him

- probably had the homework done 3 days before it was assigned tbh

- teachers love to have him in their class 

- and it’s totally not because they sometimes rely on him to help keep track of important dates

- when he does make a mistake though, he’ll get clowned for it for the rest of the year

- but that’s just cause people are happy he’s not good at EVERYTHING

- and even though he seems like a teacher’s pet, he always does his class a solid and never reminds the teacher of the homework they had

- makes good study notes and people end up leeching off of him cause he can’t say no

- never brings food to class but always steals some from others

- so if your bag of chips is suddenly empty, you know why

- was a bus monitor when he was in elementary school and is still damn proud of it, mentions it whenever he has the opportunity to

- people know him, but he doesn’t know them so he’s always like ??? when random people keep on saying hi to him

HUI

- loud. what else can i say?

- raises his hand at almost everything just to ask the teacher a lot of questionable things

- but once in a while he comes up with a really good question that shocks everyone so we take our chances and listen to him

- doesn’t sit on his seat properly but that’s ok because honestly who does?

- he falls off the chair every other day though, so some teachers are concerned of this habit of his

- delivers some of the BEST presentations

- like the kinds of presentations that are good because everyone is excited to see what that person has to offer this time

- when the teacher walks in, he’s that one kid who asks them how they’ve been so that he can delay class

- likes to make conversations with the teacher on unrelated topics when he’s supposed to be working

- always manages to get the teacher really involved in their conversation though, so they don’t even notice that he’s not working

- is distracted like 70% of the time but tries his best

- hands his work in at the absolute last minute

- like if it’s due at midnight, it’s coming in at 11:59 pm

- can be found in almost every single club and no one knows how he manages to do it

HONGSEOK

- we already know that he’s the sporty kid like that’s a given

- is a part of pretty much all the school teams so he’s constantly leaving class to go to tournaments and whatnot

- teachers are so used to him being absent that sometimes they forget he’s even in their class

- the one who offers to carry things whenever the teacher says they need help

- holds the door open to look cool

- he’s never seen studying but he always comes out of tests with a pretty decent grade

- no one knows if it’s actually because he’s big brained or if it’s because he’s really lucky

- sleeps during first period, eats his lunch during the period right after lunchtime

- defends his actions with the fact that he’s busy with his clubs but he was probably just walking around school doing random shit during lunchtime

- the kind of person who would jump to tap the ceiling or the top of a doorframe just to “casually” flex

- doesn’t change out of his sport clothes half the time to once again, “casually” flex

- everyone in the school knows him for a very wide range of reasons

E’DAWN

- the quiet yet loud kid

- would just sit there (not doing his work) being an unbothered king for most of the time

- but when it’s his time to shine oH boy

- everyone has to brace themselves cause they know they’re in for a hell of a ride

- no one knows what to expect when it comes to his presentations

- one time it ended up with Hui duct taped to the wall along with five broken chairs and an angry janitor

- shouts randomly along with hui

- would say some of the oddest things when the teacher asks a question

- on his phone listening to music for the entirety of class, the headphones never come out, even if you’re talking to him

- when the teacher walks by he always has to rush to close/switch his tabs

- is a boss at that move though, and the teachers never suspect him

- asks to go to the bathroom but just takes a walk around the school instead

- makes a funny face every time he passes by a class with his friends in it

- if you walk down the halls during lunch, you might find him sleeping in a little hiding spot in the hallways

- if not, he’s probably running around outside creating a scene

SHINWON

- known for being the embodiment of chaos in classrooms, so classes are always 10x better when he’s in it

- borrows notes from jinho the most

- will copy your homework in the morning if he didn’t do it the night before

- and will proceed to get a higher mark than you, despite writing the exact same thing

- he actually does his work and hands in it on time for the most part, but no one seems to pay attention to that fact

- sits with his chair facing the opposite way if you can imagine what i’m getting at here lol

- really good at sneaking snacks into class but he always chews too loudly so all his efforts end up going to waste when the teacher finds out

- takes long bathroom breaks and no one knows what he’s even doing in there, or if he even went to the bathroom in the first place

- he’s always seen with delivered take out during lunch and people get jealous cause they want to eat fast food too

- has to fend off the hoard of kids that come his way and is pretty good at it by now

- cause he has to save the fries for when he needs to bribe jinho for notes again

- the one that keeps on standing up during class and walking around to bother people

- like he literally just stands up at random times and walks up to someone on the other side of the room and strikes a conversation that’s completely unrelated to the class

- no one knows what motivates him to do that and he just keeps on standing up no matter how many times he’s sent back to his seat

YEO ONE

- minds his own business, is in his own world

- watches the others along with jinho and tries to not be involved in their shenanigans

- always ends up involved in their shenanigans

- is oddly chaotic, new people would be shocked when they see how chaotic he could be, but everyone else is used to it by now

- has a fat crush that his whole friend group knows about

- and now they all feel obligated to get them together so they’re always nagging him

- on that note, a bunch of people fall for him but he’s just too oblivious to notice

- i know this is oddly specific but he actually washes his hands for the correct length of time

- student body president because everyone loves him, does his job very well

- especially with school spirit !! participates fully in those, and tries his best to convince others to join in as well

- buys food from the cafeteria religiously even though the food’s a little subpar

- “i need to support this school in every way i can”

- has a part time job, people strive to be hardworking like him

- honestly this guy’s pretty neutral, he just exists and makes the world better with his presence it’s as simple as that:)

YANAN

- corner seat kind of guy, so that he can sneak in naps and just be hidden in general

- doesn’t speak unless called on

- listens to EVERY single thing being said around him, so he’s loaded with gossip

- has blackmail, will use it

- like he films people when they’re presenting,,, what is he going to do with that video? we do not know

- always bringing his coat into class, no matter how bulky it is, and just doesn’t use his locker at all

- but he has all of his friends’ locker codes saved on his phone for some reason

- eats his lunch at the wrong time too, but unlike the others (who just go with a full 3 course meal during class), he scarfs it down within 10 seconds and moves on like nothing happened

- emits soft boy energy but people fear him

- class is always hyped when it’s his turn to go up to the board and no one really knows why, that’s just how it works

- maybe it’s because his personality and confidence just skYROCKETS and everyone loves seeing that side of him

- the whole class just hypes him up on a daily basis by now

- doesn’t share anything with the others no matter how much they beg, whether it’d be for notes, tools, or food

- “snitches get stitches, bitch”

- “you know that’s not the correct saying right?”

- “i said what i said.”

YUTO

- always takes the seat near the back

- not necessarily because he’s emo (though part of it is because he is emo) but also because he is a modest boy™

- tosses a ball back and forth with his friends in the locker bays during his free time, ultimately posing as a threat to the rest of the student body

- has almost hit a teacher by accident once with a baseball, but we overlook that event

- silently rages during every single competition (especially when he falls down the rankings in Kahoot!) but hides it well

- he holds the reputation as a student who does their work when they’re supposed to, but one time you walked by his laptop and he was watching anime so now you’re not so sure

- once thought that a project was due a week before the actual due date

- had a small breakdown but was able to get over it

- he had many other close calls though, so he relies on kino or jinho to keep him in check

- has all the school equipment you could possibly need with him at all times

- so people are constantly borrowing things from him

- do they give it back? usually

- but he will get salty and hold grudges with the people who supposedly “lost” his items

- or if they say, use his entire glue stick despite it being brand new when he gave it to them

- if you hear some music down the halls, it’s probably him playing the guitar

- fully reads the club posters on the wall so he’s one of the few people who are actually aware of what’s going on

KINO

- always keeping up with the new trends

- the “i’ll help you with your work! :)” kind of guy

- always answering questions in the group chat i don’t know what the others would do without him

- he gets sad if people don’t reply to his messages properly though

- the only person on jinho’s good list because he’s actually diligent with his work

- goes a full 200% on any project that has any artistic aspect in it, even if it doesn’t count for marks

- is the one who reminds others of the due dates so some people have a love-hate relationship with him

- somehow knows almost everyone in the school

- if you want to walk to class with him, you gotta be prepared to take like 50 stops along the way cause he’s gonna hug everyone he knows and strike a conversation with them

- is popular simply because everyone loves him

- you can find him dancing in the hallway occasionally, probably making tiktoks

- decorates his friends’ lockers on their birthday with pictures of them

- the kid that offers to help the teacher complete tasks almost 100% of the time

- volunteers at the other school nearby to help take care of the little children

- always supporting club events

WOOSEOK

- puts memes in his slideshows (and is very good at finding the perfect meme for every occasion)

- plays games on his phone when the teacher’s talking, somehow doesn’t get called on

- instead like, yuto gets called on for searching something up on his phone

- the kid who constantly yells out random answers (or just yells in general) during Kahoot! to mess other people up

- the kind of student who casually looks over at the person beside him during a test

- defends himself by saying that he just wanted to see how far they were on the test

- has a tough time during locker clean out because there were just too many things in there

- at one point there was an ant infestation after he accidentally left his lunch there overnight, but he took care of that quietly and doesn’t mention it ever again

- asks obvious questions into the group chat and tries to argue his point only to figure out where he went wrong after reflecting on his messages

- random shouter number 3

- him, hui, and e’dawn can sometimes be seen after school trying to summon their very late school bus with their screams

- it never worked though, unfortunately

- runs a business where people pay him to go to the store nearby and buy snacks for them

- he actually makes quite a bit from it

=====

quick disclaimer: ofc i think the boys would've been good students at school so this is just something written based on the chaotic energy i’ve watched them emit throughout my time stanning them:) this is just for entertainment purposes!

~ tiny

[calypsoff]

Fourteen.

Taking my phone back from Barry “that is dope, so the song is called Diamonds? It sounds nice” nodding my head smiling, Robyn has been sending me pictures and random videos of her on set, the song is so nice “it’s going to be big, I know it. It goes like erm, so shine bright something night you and I we beautiful like diamonds in the sky. I heard it already, that song really stuck out to me and Pour it Up, my girl is so good man. So proud of her” looking down at the video that Barry just watched “I can tell, looking like a proud husband, how many times have you heard that song though? How the hell you remember lyrics?” locking my phone “erm that song I have heard about three times now, she kept playing it in the background of course, you know when they were doing the video. She looks so good, in the video that is” I do seem like a proud husband because I am, just that I am happy she is keeping me in the know but whoever was videoing her on set was funny, I think it’s her friend because they had the accent “so you excited to go to Cali?” nodding my head “yeah, I am going to be skyping my family to let them know the details, I can’t let them just find out randomly with whatever Robyn is up too. She said she is sending her jet to me, bro a jet!? A whole fucking jet, like I barely travel on a plane but a jet” Barry hit my shoulder “I want pictures bro, you fly high my brother. We will be here waiting for details” Barry dapped me, I love them both so much “it’s wild, but with Robyn telling me to not be so stubborn and let her, I am because I would really told her no, I will make it there somehow but it’s her thing, let her do it. But a jet? I am not ready for the rest of the shit; I am in Robyn’ care now. Usually she is here with me and I look after her, she is taking care of me which kind of scares me, she is a woman. I am the man, I got the money from the apartment I sold, insurance money so I am ok right now, like I got a lot to last me” Barryy nodded his head “it’s good to have your own money too, but I am excited. I am your hype man” I chuckled, I am excited right now, I think I have accepted her to just let her spoil me.

Placing my macbook on the bed and climbed onto my bed, let me skype my family. They are waiting they said, it’s literally a family meeting with them, I was going to sit at the desk but here is fine, I can relax. Tapping call on my laptop, tapping the side of my phone, Robyn has text me but I will text her back after “my baby! I thought you said you’re going to shave!?” I laughed “ma, I am. Today, don’t worry, how is you all? Don’t look at me, I am a mess right now. Just up late nights, getting things started, we posted our first set of clothing, now we just kind of push for it and wait. I am sure Tootie seen the post?” I pointed out “I did, it’s so you. The wolverine look is nice” picking my chin hair “be quiet, but how is Virginia?” I want to hear about them “fine son, we all feel happy. We were talking at dinner last night and we all feel at peace to know you are safe and at peace, we feared for you and we are happy over here. And I know there will be a time where the family will want to know you, son you were meant to be bigger than you are but yes, we are happy to see you happy. And smiling” I love my dad “yeah, I feel free. I can stand and do shit because I can, no worries at all so yeah. I know what you mean dad, I miss you all though, I really do” my mom cooed out “my baby boy, I love you so much and I cannot wait to hug you” smiling at my mother.

Listening to my mom just speaking on, I swear my mother loves a good story “what are you doing there anyways for work baby?” oh finally, I can speak “nothing right now, I am doing the clothing line. I have that money from the apartment, we good honestly. I am so happy, like besides the hair, I am happy” I chuckled “but the real reason I called this was, I am currently dating. I have been for two months now” my sister kissed her teeth “the fuck you making announcement for a girlfriend” my sister is not shit “can I get to the point!?” I spat, she rolled her eyes “I am currently dating Robyn, well I say currently I think it will be forever” I chuckled, looking at my family they are staring at me like I have lost my mind “no?” I am confused “baby you can date?” my mom said awkwardly “oh my god, I am dating Rihanna!” I spat, they all gasped “what!?” my sister shouted ever so loudly “yes I am dating Rihanna and it’s going to go public but I wanted you all to know first” my family are stupid “there is no way you are dating Rihanna?” my nephew said, he is cheeky “I am, we reconnected. I can prove it” my sister sniggered “go on then, you’re such a liar” all me and my sister do is go back and forth, but I will win this.

Turning volume down on my laptop so she doesn’t hear them, putting Robyn on speakerphone “yes poppa” I grinned “hey, I really just called to prove a point to my family” I thought I would tell the truth “what do you mean?” she is confused “Tootie doesn’t believe I am marrying you, wait no. Ignore that” my cheeks turned red “I mean we are dating” hiding my face in shame, I am so stupid “uh but you said marry? Really?” oh of course she picks up on that “uh, stop it. I am putting the phone down ok, I need too” I chuckled “I am not dropping that but ok, whatever you’re trying to prove, call me later” Robyn means it, she isn’t going to drop it either. Disconnecting the call, putting the volume back up on my laptop “is that my angel Robyn, her beautiful big hazel eyes. Oh my, you are dating her. How do you feel?” my mom is gushing, as she would “yeah but I wanted you to know first but please keep it between us, I pretty much have always loved her, but you know. She left, then she became a star. But I do love her” it just came out, just like that but I am comfortable with speaking on such things with my family, we a small family “I can tell you’re in love, wow. I am speechless, like you really dating her?” my sister repeated, nodding my head smiling “I can’t believe I said marry, man. I ain’t about to marry no woman” rubbing my face laughing “the way you are giggling you will be marrying her, damn. You go baby brother, you for real happy” let me fix myself “huh yeah, but on a real. I just want you to know first. It’s hard, I think I am hard on her and I feel it. Like I am not easy for her and I do feel bad but it’s just me, I’m not who I was when she met me then, but we give and take, we work together and yeah, I hope this doesn’t fuck up with what we are working with but it’s hard, on us both. And I have to see it, like I have these moments where I just snap, like she was jetting off to these places and took ages to come and see me” I grinned “Christopher she is so sweet, when she came to the home and you were playing your video games and not doing your school work, she would ask if I wanted to help in the kitchen, she is so kind. Don’t be mean to her, that is not you. Maybe it’s you, you feel small compared to her, to me she is just amazingly beautiful and is Rihanna, the name holds power but be appreciative of the time she can make for you” rolling my eyes shaking my head “it shouldn’t be that way, I wait weeks to get a day? Fit me between her schedule, I am a young man, and we have our needs, not being disrespectful but use your brain” my dad is so quiet “if you love a lady then sex wouldn’t phase you, her safety will be your first thought. Anything can happen son and putting your name out there that you are dating Rihanna comes with responsibility which is her name. It holds power like your mother said and you are going to gain some of that from her, treat her nicely and how you should” my dad spoke and clearly my family are team Rihanna.

That was eventful, what the fuck was going through my mind to say marry, it just flowed out so natural like I meant it. I feel so stupid now too, like what is she thinking with me saying that too “how did it go?” sitting down on the couch in a huff “great, it went better than it did. At first they did not believe me, they were thinking I was lying about it, I called Robyn and she answered. They are happy for me, they said I look happy and I am happy with that but like I said to Robyn Marry instead of something else, I am so dumb. But yeah” rubbing my head laughing “I would marry her tomorrow, how can you not want the baddest bitch in the game?” side eyeing Barry “don’t call her bitch bro, but that is because I am not seeing it for that, I am not going to jump because she is famous and beautiful. It’s not like that” these niggas don’t get it “I didn’t mean it in that way, but I am just saying, she is a beautiful lady” I sniggered “that is what I thought but I know what you meant, I just can’t have niggas being disrespectful towards her, goes to anyone but you two. I get it” my phone pinged in my hand “she is family bro, we would never” nodding my head in agreement, I understand them “why is this bitch tagging me in shit” tapping on the notification “who?” Barry asked “uhm” the picture popped up “Seiko” I mumbled “uhhh!” passing my phone to Barry “bro that is a scan picture” I don’t want to see what she is doing, I can’t. Barry took the phone me, I am not even going to entertain that “she has tagged you saying you’re going to be a daddy and she is three months pregnant” I got up from the couch “the bitch is lying” I pointed laughing “I don’t know what to say to you, she is pretty pregnant in this” this can’t be happening.

I am shaking right now but she is lying, I know she is lying “what you going to do?” Barry asked “I reported it and untagged you in the post” snatching my phone from Barry “I will push this bitch down some stairs, I don’t care” I need to relax but I can’t because she is planting a fucking baby on me “I believe you” Barry knows I would, tapping on Seiko’ name “I didn’t make her pregnant, she cheated on me. Which I don’t care but still” she answered with a laugh “oh hi” she is so smug for what “don’t, why did you tag me in that shit!?” I spat “if you don’t want to know the child then say, I understand Chris” I balled my fist up “I don’t want kids! I never do want them, the fuck!? You knew this, I will come there and push you down some stairs Seiko, I am not a fucking dad of nothing” Barry stood next to me, he is trying to tell me to calm down, but I can’t, she is trying to ruin my fucking life right now “just pay for it, I don’t care for the rest” she put the phone down on me, staring at Barry “could it be yours?” Barry asked “no, I used condoms, a hundred percent. Now if Robyn told me she was I wouldn’t be shocked because we go raw, this bitch is lying” this can’t be happening, I feel like an anxiety attack is happening again, man what the fuck “there is that chance Chris, are you sure” Barry grabbed my shoulders “I am not crying” I said putting my head down, but this is making me sad, I can’t have this.

I am sad as fuck, from the conversation I had with my family and now this. I shed a few tears; this means I can’t be with Robyn like that. My dad is right, her whole name will be dragged down with me. A convict and now his ex-girlfriend pregnant but I know I didn’t, I know it’s not mine. I always was protected, I have to admit this to Robyn because I am not that kind of nigga to do that to her, I love her, and I can’t do that to her. I will just have to close off on her and say it won’t work, that way I can’t pain her by saying she is pregnant but how do I know it’s not mine, I know it’s not. Typing a text.

Seiko: Yu ruining a niggas life after everything I been through? I did nothing but be good to yu how yu going to do me like this I know it’s not mine Seiko! Don’t do this to me

Seiko didn’t text me back at all, she is now quiet but after creating that shit she expect me to be ok, I am laid out on my bed for a good hour now, I don’t know what to do. I have to prove the baby isn’t mine because it isn’t mine, I know it isn’t. We had sex before going to New York, I know that happened and that was it but then if she is what three months then it adds up but I wore a condom, it didn’t break or anything. I fucked up, I just. I can’t let Robyn go public with me at all with this, I will have to go cold on her and say it won’t work, I mean what else can I do. My phone pinged, grabbing it from the side of me, it had to Robyn right now when I wanted it to be Seiko, unlocking my phone to see Robyn’ message.

Twin: Facetime me now?

I sighed out rolling my eyes, I am not in the mood for facetime at all. I am emotional and I probably look like I have been crying.

Chris: Call me

I can’t believe this is happening to me right now, the thing is I need to prove it’s not mine but then I can’t actually go public with Robyn at all, that can’t happen because I don’t want to shame her like that, my phone rang out. I guess I better speak to her, I am going to be cold with her “poppa” I am a mess, this is a mess “hey” I mean I am not in the mood to speak “I have finished filming now, my family are coming to Cali for a while, I am excited but tired, I have been just planning so much for you. I am also worried…” Robyn spoke on and spoke on and all I could think of is that there is a slim chance I could be the father; I mean a very slim chance and I have ruined this “Chris!” Robyn shouted “what!?” I shouted back; she broke my thought “why are you shouting me?” I huffed out “you shouted at me?” which she did “because you aren’t paying attention to me, no need to be angry with me” getting up off of the bed and sitting on the edge of the bed “what you doing?” I asked, I mean I don’t want her to be with people and she gets upset, I mean she will be upset “I am in the trailer currently, for a while” I got to tell her now, I can’t wait because I am practically supposed to be leaving to see her in two days “Robyn…” I dragged out, man I really love her and this hurts, she can’t be with me like this “I can’t come there-” banging on my bedroom door stopped the conversation, the knocking is loud as fuck. Is this the police “Chris!” I breathed, it’s TJ “come in” I said, banging on my door like that “are you speaking to Rihanna?” he said out of breath “if you can see I am, I am trying to speak to her” is he stupid, but then again he hasn’t been here all day at all, so he won’t know “you haven’t said anything to her yeah? You haven’t?” eyeballing him “Chris, I need to speak to you just quick, I fucked up. Get her off the phone, just let me speak to you!” he pleaded with me, TJ means it, this is serious “Robyn, I will have to call you back” getting up from the bed “what the fuck is happening Chris, tell me what!” she is shouting now “I will call you back, I am putting the phone down” disconnecting the call.

I expected Robyn to call me after putting the phone down, she is calling me again right now “clearly you know?” Barry does, I can tell with the look on his face, he put his hands up “I know” he mumbled, I am still confused on this, but TJ is stood behind the couch and away from me “like I thought it was done, and yeah. I didn’t expect this to happen, Chris you are my brother” looking down at my phone, Robyn is going crazy in my messages “I already have this shit with Seiko, I don’t need you do be acting dramatic for it to be something dumb so please, get on with it” they both know something I don’t “I saw Seiko in the club, this was a few months ago, when you just told me you got with Robyn and stuff. But she started saying how upset she is that you never went with her to Miami, she assumed you were cheating. She was being all emotional in the club, she was drunk, I took her to one side because I mean I knew what you were doing, and you wanted to get rid of her anyways, I just said no he didn’t. She was speaking on how you changed since seeing Rihanna, I just didn’t’ want her to keep saying Rihanna, you know” he is being irrelevant “shut up TJ, I am bored “Barry shot up from the couch “just fucking tell him! Chris, TJ fucked your ex” I froze staring at my friend, but I laughed, I had to laugh “wait, you telling me you had sex with Seiko? You fucked my ex” I don’t feel this is real “but then she told me she is pregnant, I hit raw. But then she made that post, she is lying, she is two months. She is lying on you because she thinks you’re with Rihanna, she is obsessed, she was saying how that man Rihanna is holding on Instagram is you, she tagged Rihanna in the post too, but I begged her to untag her, it’s mine. She is causing shit and I begged her to get an abortion too. She’s doing as a sick joke to pain you, she told me she is pregnant” staring at TJ, not sure if to be angry or happy. Turning around slowly breathing out, this means I am free, I can be with Robyn but he slept with my ex, that is still bad but this is good.

[schrijverr]

Husband Tag

Dean and Cas do the husband tag. Takes place within the Famous Husband verse.

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warnings: none, but if you want me to tag anything I’ll do so happily! :)

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Castiel were sitting next to each other. Dean smiled into the camera and started the video, while Castiel smiled at him. “Hello Hunters, you’ve read the title and probably know what’s going on already, but we’re doing the husband tag!”

The intro rolled, it was a drawn impala that came down the road, it stopped in the middle of the screen and the drawn Dean gave a wink to the viewers, then he sped off again and the smoke was bridge back to the video.

“How are we doing this?” Castiel asked.

Dean answered: “Well, I have a list of husband tag questions here, so lets just start at the top and answer one in turns.”

Castiel nodded and Dean offered to go first, which Cas gratefully accepted. Dean said: “First question is “How and where did we meet?” Kinda answered this one in the reveal video already, uhm, next one is “What was your first impression?” Okay, I also answered this one, I thought you were scary, turned out not to be true, but what can you do.”

He turned to Cas and said: “What was your first impression of me?”

“I thought you were a lunatic.” Castiel answered seriously.

Deans eyes got wide as he exclaimed: “Why!”

“Because you jumped me.” Castiel defended.

Dean grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head while he said: “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Dean read out: “When did you meet my family?”

He gave Cas a look and Castiel answered: “I met Sam, when he visited the weekend after I moved in, I liked him, he asked questions about my courses and the books I had. It was quite lovely.”

“Yeah, cause he is a nerd.” Dean said with an eyeroll.

Castiel looked tiredly into the camera, but didn’t comment. He went on: “And I met Bobby that summer, me and Dean had hit it off that year and I didn’t have anything to do, so we went home to Bobby's place and helped him with the shop for the entire summer. He is a nice man, didn’t really trust me at first, but I like to think I’ve grown on him.”

“Of course you’ve grown on him.” Dean said, “You’re family, you know how he is about family. He has one of our wedding pictures framed in his office. You know the one with him, Sammy, Jo and Ellen?”

“Really?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, doesn’t say anything about it when you ask him, though.” Dean shrugged.

Castiel smiled fondly and grabbed Deans phone to ask him the next question: “When and why did you fall for me? Hm, this one is interesting.”

Dean turned bright scarlet as he answered: “In third year of uni I realized I had fallen for him, but I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when it started, probably when you walked through the door.”

“You sap.” Castiel said with a smile.

Dean batted his eyelashes at him and said: “Don’t you know it, angel. But back to the story, there had been a few dudes, their leader was Dick, and they didn’t like us for some reason, so they had decided that it would be fun to leave us in the forest at night, don’t ask. But we had to get back and while we were hearing all sorts of noises, but Cas wasn’t scared and I suddenly though that that was pretty sexy of him and then I realized I found a lot about Castiel pretty sexy.”

Castiel face palmed, but he was smiling.

Then Dean was reading the next question for Cas: “How long have we been together?” That one is kind of boring I guess, you want a new one?”

“I can do two,” Castiel said, “this one is kind of short. We’ve known each other for ten years now, we’ve been dating for six years and we’ve been married for one.”

Dean nodded along with a happy and proud smile, then he read the next question: “I’ve skipped a few, cause I want to know this one, “What do you love about me?”, I’m answering this one as well.”

Cas thought about it for two seconds then he looked at Dean and held eye contact as he answered: “I love how you work tirelessly for the things you are passionate about. I love how you care for Sam. I love how your listen to me ramble about work and can remember what I talked about weeks later. I love how you watch bee documentaries with me even though you think they are boring, just because they make me happy. I love the freckles on you nose that I can never seem to count. I love how I can come home and find you in the kitchen singing and dancing in your underwear while cooking dinner for us. I love the little golden flakes in your eyes. I love your smile and your flirting. I love every little thing about you and I always will.”

The longer Cas went on the redder Dean became, he was smiling while trying to duck his head away in embarrassment, but he couldn’t let his hold of Castiels eyes go, they remained locked. When Cas was done a tear slipped down Deans face and there was a jump cut.

Dean had puffy eyes, but they were bright and shining happily. He said: “That was quite a speech, which I know I can’t match.”

“You don’t have to, Dean.” Castiel assured him.

“No, I wanna try,” Dean said and then he told Cas: “I love how you keep me grounded and calm. I love how you would give up everything for me in a heartbeat and convince me I’m worth it. I love how you became family in days even though it takes most years, just because you fit in perfectly. I love how your eyes light up when you find some random trivia about bees. I love how you listen to me ramble about my car and all the shit I leave around the house for videos. I love how you phrase things. I love how you can seem wise beyond your years and then one second later look like the biggest idiot on the planet. I love how you give anyone the middle finger if you care about something, no matter how scary you find it.”

Castiel was also tearing up a bit, so Dean decided that it was enough and cleared his throat: “That was enough of a chick-flick moment, just want to add that I also love your ass.”

“Dean! My students watch this!” Cas exclaimed, but he was grinning none the less.

“And they need to appreciate what a blessing that is.” Dean smirked.

Cas groaned and mumbled: “I hate you, Dean Winchester.”

“And I love you too, darling.” Dean sing-songed back.

Cas rolled his eyes, but didn’t disagree. He snatched the phone out of Deans hand an randomly read a question of the screen: “What is a weird habit I have?”

Dean answered: “A weird habit? Uhhhhh, maybe it’s because I lived with you for so long that I don’t find it weird anymore, but you eat an insane amount of burgers, the fact that you are not fat is a miracle. I think I’ve seen you eat ten burgers in a row once, it’s insane.”

“You exaggerating, Dean. I do not consume an unnatural amount of burgers, they just please my palette and I eat them if I can.” Castiel said with a huff.

Dean smiled and said: “That’s another one, he can phrase things so strangely, but it’s oddly fascinating how he switches between talking like a human being and a confused immortal.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I am not a strange being.” Castiel whined like it was an old discussion.

Without missing a beat Dean said: “When you can prove you’re not.”

Cas threw his hands up and said: “How can I prove I’m not immortal, without dying.”

Dean took a deep breath, but there was a jump cut before he could answer.

The end card showed and this time Cas sat next to Dean as he said goodbye: “That was it for this video, please remember to like, comment and subscribe and while you’re there you should hit that bell too, just so you know when I will update again. Any last words to the viewers, Cas?”

With a serious deadpan expression Cas said: “Make sure to subscribe, I have seen a nice vacation I’d like to go on, so we need the money.”

Dean hit him in the arm and Castiel rolled his eyes with a smirk as he said: “Kidding… apparently. No, I really was kidding, uhm, see you maybe and have a lovely day.”

“Ahw, that’s a sweet outro, angel.” Dean said, then he turned back to the camera and said: “Well, you heard the man, have a lovely day. Bye hunters, see you on the road!”

Then the screen went dark.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My heart!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The bickering is real, people

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Just the mental image of Dean

singing along to music while

he is dancing in his underwear

and cooking is amazing, thank

you saint Castiel

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean out there looking like a

snack

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Their love speeches were so

adorable!!!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean called Cass angel and now

he’s arguing about the mortality

of the man? Hm, I sense a

CONSPIRACY!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I’m sooooo jealous of all the kids

in castiels classes, I mean looking

at that all day, yum!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why the burgers though? No one

gonna talk about that? No?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

brb just writing down their

speeches as inspo for my vows

I mean, that romance, hot damn

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I find a lot of things about cas

pretty sexy too dean

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[atths--twice]

Ghouli... man this episode was brutal. Beautiful and necessary but also... Jesus Christ. I hope this chapter helps to ease the pain it may have caused. 

Chapter Thirty Four 

Safe and Sound 

As they leave gas station, a song helps Mulder and Scully to heal in the midst of their heartache.

January 2018

The rain started as they drove away from the gas station. Hard driving rain that seemed to be fitting to how the last few days had been. Incredibly draining, especially for Scully. She had been on an emotional roller coaster.  

Hoping beyond hope for a reunion with William, discovering him shot, realizing he was actually alive, speaking to him without knowing it was him, then seeing him on the surveillance video, the visual proof he was safe ... needless to say, it had been a rough few days.

Mulder glanced over at Scully, her back to him as she lay turned toward the window. She had been quiet after they left the station, where they had stood and looked at a television screen, his hands on her shoulders, as she reached for his hand. There was their son on the screen, safe and sound.

Mulder approached the attendant and asked if they could please have that tape. The attendant sincerely apologized, but he could not give it to them without the permission from his boss. Mulder then watched him look over at Scully, seeing the tears in her eyes, and he relented. He handed her the tape and she looked over at Mulder as the tears slid down her face.

Mulder looked at Scully and then looked at the attendant. He thanked him, quietly staring in his eyes to express how much this meant to them. Scully nodded her thanks beside him, tears still on her face.

Mulder held the door open for her as they walked back to the car. He walked beside her with a hand on her back. When they arrived at the car, she turned and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. He held her to him and rested his chin on her head.  

“He’s okay, Mulder." He heard her say quietly with a catch in her voice. “He’s okay.” He held her until she pulled back and smiled sadly at him, tears in her eyes.

He caressed her face and opened her door. before walking around to the other side of the car. He replaced the gas nozzle, and closed the tank, got in the car, started it up, and they headed for home.

The pouring rain and her silence in the car was becoming too much, he needed some sound. He turned the radio on and randomly chose a station. Scully usually chose the music if they were not discussing a case. They might have it softly playing in the background, or blaring as they sat in a never ending traffic jam, both punch-drunk tired, but still with miles to go.

He glanced at her again as music softly filled the car. She still had her body turned toward the window. Maybe she was sleeping, but he did not think so. He wanted to talk to her, but he knew she needed time to herself right now. Needed to process what happened and how to move forward. He knew part of her wished they could follow William and speak to him.

The wipers beat a steady drumbeat as the next song started. A guitar played a song that sounded familiar, then the piano joined in and Mulder frowned. He reached for the volume and turned it up a bit. It was very familiar but different at the same time. Then the song started and he could place it.

I could lift you up I could show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be

You could be my luck Even if the sky is falling down, I know that we’ll be safe and sound

It was like a punch to the gut. He gasped at the words sung slowly, the words hitting him right in the heart. William had indeed taken them where he wanted them to be, showing them what they thought was impossible to see, and the sky was  falling down on them. Jesus ...

We’re safe and sound We’re safe and sound

I could fill your cup You know my river won't evaporate This world we still appreciate

You could be my luck Even in a hurricane of frowns I know that we'll be safe and sound

Without question, Scully was his luck. What he needed and was blessed to still have in his life. Memories presented themselves like scenes from a movie. Scully standing up for him, for them, her smiling at his crazy theories, her laughter, her tears. Cases, car rides, cold takeout, hot motel rooms that smelled and cold ones that caused shivers, weather that halted or hindered investigations, and too many damn hospital rooms.

We’re safe and sound We're safe and sound We're safe and sound We're safe and sound

Safe and sound Safe and sound Hold your ground Safe and sound

He looked over at her, at the woman who had spent twenty five years by his side. All the times he thought he had pushed her too far, she was still beside him, partners before all else. He loved her more than anything.

I could show you love In a tidal wave of mystery You'll still be standing next to me

You could be my luck Even if we're six feet underground I know that we'll be safe and sound

Tidal waves of mysteries, that so adequately described their work. Six feet underground, yeah, they had been there. Hallucinating on spores, they had found a way to work together to survive. When they had been rescued, he reached out for her then, to be sure they were actually safe, that they had made it. Her answering touch had been all he needed. He glanced over at her again. He ached to touch her now, needing again that reassurance that they were still them even after all this time. Still safe.

Safe and sound ... We’re safe and sound Safe and sound ... We’re safe and sound Hold your ground ... We’re safe and sound Safe and sound ... We're safe and sound

He reached a hand to the gear shift and he left it there. Letting her find him, if she wanted. Before his hand had sat there for even a second, she reached her hand behind her, searching for his. He clasped her fingers and she squeezed back. He heard her sob out a breath and he squeezed her fingers again. She turned suddenly and let go of his hand. She sat up and leaned close to him, putting her head on his shoulder. She laced their fingers together, sniffling and taking a shuddering breath.  

I could lift you up I could show you what you want to see And take you where you want to be

You could be my luck Even if the sky is falling down I know that we'll be safe and sound

The sound of the rain pouring down filled the car as the song ended and before the next song began. Mulder let go of her hand to turn the radio off, the words of the song still hanging in the air.

He took her hand again and rubbed his thumb across the top of it. She breathed deeply again and he saw that she still held the videotape in her other hand. Not wanting to let go of physical proof that William was out there, he was safe, and he had sought them out. Mulder begged the universe for another chance to see him. He did not want the only time they saw their son to be on a videotape. The universe could not be that cruel.

All of a sudden, he was hit with the enormity of the last few days. He had been so strong for her, he had to be, but now he felt it catching up to him. Felt the sadness, guilt, and worry bubbling to the surface. He could not stop the sob from escaping his throat. She lifted her head and looked at him, tears shining in her own eyes.

“Oh, Mulder,” she whispered, setting the videotape on the dashboard and touching his face. “Pull over.”

He did, the rain and his tears making driving nearly impossible. She quickly unbuckled her seat belt and climbed into his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her close, his face buried in her hair. They cried together, tears falling for so many different reasons. Guilt, sadness, happiness, and relief.

“Mulder,” she said into his neck, after a few minutes. “I could not have made it through these past few days without you. You have been my strength and my lifeline. I … never would I have been able to face this on my own. I would have crumbled, I know I would have. You were there every time I needed you. Letting me have the time I needed, but pulling me back from the brink with a touch or a look. I ... Mulder, I can’t express to you how much I needed you and your support. I thought ... I thought I would be able to face whatever we found and I would be strong. But ... Jesus, I ... you were there, Mulder. I needed you and you were there ...”

She stopped speaking, overcome with tears. He cried with her as he stroked her hair. His tears were for the manner in which she thanked him, as if she was surprised by his attentiveness, by his sole focus being on her. He shamefully knew that she had every right to seem surprised. His attention had diverted from her and had been a major catalyst to their separation. Stupid past mistakes had led to her feeling second place to his obsessions, loneliness, and unnecessary pain. Never again.

Her tears fell hot on his neck and he could not help but think of the symbolism of their tears being shed as the rain poured outside. As if the heavens themselves were weeping with them and attempting to wash clean the pain and heartache the two of them were suffering.

“Thank you, Mulder. Thank you,” she whispered a few minutes later, holding tighter to him, and fighting back tears. “I ... I … Mulder ... I love you.”

He held his breath and released it. He had not heard her say that to him in so long. He had said it to her recently and he knew she felt it, but hearing it ... God. He closed his eyes, hoping this was the turning point in their relationship that he had been waiting for desperately.

“Scully, I love you,” he whispered into her hair. The only thing he could say to her, the only words he could get out, the only ones that truly mattered. She nodded against his neck, before sobbing once again.

They sat there for a while before their tears began to subside, as did the rain. Slackening, as if it knew they had begun to move forward, their heartache beginning to heal. She pulled back to look in his eyes. He brought his forehead to hers and they took a minute to recenter.

She pulled back again and tenderly wiped his face. He did the same for her, each taking the others' sadness, and adding another brick to the path they were building back to each other. Sharing in this pain was a huge step and they were both aware of it.

She smiled shakily at him, before touching her lips to his in a comforting and thankful kiss. It was brief, but it was enough. She smiled at him again, stronger this time. She stroked his face once more, both of them nodded, and then she climbed back into her seat, buckling her seat belt.

He took a shaky breath and let it out. The wipers were still going fast and he turned them down to accommodate for the lighter rain. He looked at her, watching her take the videotape back into her hand, and holding it in her lap. She looked at him, extending her hand to him.

He took it, locking their fingers together, holding their hands on his leg. He put on the blinker, looked over his shoulder, then pulled back onto the road. She squeezed his hand and he looked at her again.

“Let’s go home,” she whispered.

With his hand in hers and the videotape in her lap, it felt for a moment, that their family was together. William may not physically be with them, but he was there, forever saved on a video they would always cherish. Their boy was safe, they were safe, and that was all they could ask for right now.

Safe and sound, her hand warm and familiar in his, they headed for home.

________________________________________

Oof... so sad and so beautiful. The song I used was Safe and Sound as sung by Lils. Give it a listen if you never have.

[fantasyresident]

My Review For Pokemon Sword and Shield (Spoiler-Free)

The road to Sword and Shield could be considered interesting to say the least. Shit hit the fan with everyone’s accusations, complaints, and grievances before the game even came out. Death threats, fake leaks, ridiculous critics, you name it. As a dedicated Pokemon fan, I saw huge potential with Sword and Shield, and I have officially completed Shield just a couple days ago. Reviews from official critics like IGN and Gamespot mainly praise the game giving it scores of 9.3 and 9 respectively. But then others off to the side of these major critics are saying the game “isn’t worth the $60″. I can say after playing the game myself to its completion (plus some) that the game is definitely in my view worth the money. I will break down my opinions of these entries by categories of Mechanics (how well the game works, how much gameplay there is, and how valuable the gameplay aspects are) Story (how good and effective the plot of the game is) Characters (how good the characters within the plot are) Dialogue (how good the writing of the game is) and Visuals (how good the game looks from a visual perspective). Here I go.

Mechanics: (9.1/10)

Sword and Shield is jam-packed with excellent features and gameplay elements to endlessly enjoy. The new Pokemon Camp feature is the best, most interactive way of playing and building your friendship with your Pokemon. The curry cooking is very simple, but it is more interactive then just giving a floating PokePuff or Bean to a Pokemon and having them chew it slowly right in front of you only to give it yet another one until they cannot eat anymore. You can throw a ball to have your Pokemon play fetch with you, speak to your Pokemon, and have them play with the little wand toy. While you cannot pet your Pokemon like in the past, the new features feels so fresh and even just watching your favorite Pokemon interact on their own is a worthy replacement for old systems like Amie and Refresh. Aside from Camping, the Gym Challenge was by far one of the best features. Gyms actually for the first time ever felt like full-fledged Gyms. Each Gym has their own special challenge in the beginning, and each one helped diversify the experience rather than tossing you into a room with randomly arranged trainers and the Gym Leader standing at the end waiting for you to get through the maze. I particularly loved Allister’s Gym Challenge, but every one of the challenges was a fun light-hearted experience. Many nuisances from the game that lingered in the past main titles have been removed, like no longer having to farm heart scales just to experiment with different move sets, having a Pokeball throwing shortcut, having a name rater posted in every Pokemon center, and many other quality of life improvements. The only problem I find with the mechanics of the game is the pop-ins. NPCs (ones that move from place to place), wild Pokemon, and berry trees all have their pop-in moments in the game. As you approach them, they come into view normally from a mid-range distance, and fade away again if you get too far away. This isn’t a huge deal when it comes to the experience as a whole, but it did slightly rob from the otherwise fresh Wild Area experience considering the pop-ins are the worst there. Lagging while online in the Wild Area is also a slight problem, but not too persistent of a problem.

Story: (8.5/10)

The story of Shield very much reminded me of the Pokemon anime in a sense (Swords being no different other than Pokemon variations). The narrative mainly focuses on the lovable and colorful cast of characters rather than a constantly changing dynamic plot. The plot is pretty big (not a Dynamax pun I swear), but it’s mainly told through your trainer character’s perspective, so the secrets of the unfolding plot occur through the perspectives of the adult figures, which you eventually see around the end. It’s not a complex story, but I found it to be very solid, kind of like a Pokemon movie. The characters carry the story along smoothly, and it’s a nice “save the world” Pokemon plot. There’s not a bunch of lore for the region, but what lore is explained is very suitable for the Galar region and I found it to be pretty interesting. I feel like the ending wraps up a little quicker than in usual Pokemon games, but the post-game story helps to finalize things even if it contains two very weird parodical characters. I think the point of the game’s plot is timely (for a reason I cannot elaborate upon for non-spoiler purposes, but to anyone who finishes it, you may know what I mean). I feel like it really connects with a real-world issue that the world is facing currently. Additionally, the story’s presentation was handled very well in most parts, I really liked the mid-battle cutscenes and the scripted battles that remind me of classic RPGs. While I don’t think the plot of Sword and Shield beats the darker dynamic plot of Sun and Moon, it’s good and solid all the same. 

Characters: (10/10)

As I briefly mentioned in the story segment of this review, the characters are some of the biggest stars of this game. Each Gym leader stands out and have their own little backstory. These backstories aren’t told through cutscenes, but you can read their biographies on the back of their League cards which I thought was a good way of telling us more information about the Gym Leaders than we got with them in the past titles. Gym Leaders are normally just treated like pretty designs and then thrown away by the post game. Sword and Shield however puts each of them in the spotlight more and they all get some time to shine. The designs for the characters themselves I find to be particularly amazing. Personally, Piers, the long awaited Dark-type Gym Leader was my favorite, but every single one of them had something interesting in store. Aside from Gym Leaders, memorable characters like Marnie, Bede, Sonia and Leon really help liven and enrich the experience. I felt really invested in these characters, and when I feel that invested in the characters of a video game, I consider them a smashing success.

***ADDITIONAL NOTE***

I neglected to mention the most important characters to any Pokemon game: the Pokemon themselves! The designs of the Galar Pokemon and Galar forms are breathtaking. I love the vast majority of them and there’s very few that I think little of. The designs are themed and look very creative, I really loved the art direction for this generation’s Pokedex.

Dialogue: (9/10)

With the new Galar region, inspired off of the UK, the dialogue is bound to change. A lot of British slang is slipped in which was enjoyable even if I wasn’t familiar with some of it. Each character seemed to have their own way of speaking and I liked this individuality in dialogue. Nothing any of the main characters say seems off-putting, so I’d say the dialogue is in a very good place for a Pokemon game. It is a game that’s marketed for younger audiences, but it does a good job of not making you feel like a baby (something that prior titles also done a good job with), so the dialogue is consistently good for any audience. Some lines could be improved perhaps or less generic, but nothing stands out to me as an issue with dialogue, so I’d say the writing is pretty on-spot.

Visuals: (9.4/10)

This is perhaps one of the most controversial parts of these games, with many complaining about reused models, trees looking badly textured, and the game looking like just an “upscaled 3DS game”. While I do agree that the Wild Area trees are terrible-looking upon close inspection, I by no means view this game as just an “upscaled 3DS game”. The visuals of Sword and Shield are by far the greatest the series has to offer, with town areas and dungeons looking absolutely superb. Some critics think that the graphics need a dynamic change, but I couldn’t disagree more. Graphics are a subjective thing until you’re delaing with something like the textures of the game (like the trees.) If fans don’t like the Pokemon style, they shouldn’t be playing the games anymore. Sword and Shield mastered the style the franchise should have with the very interesting, beautifully rendered areas like the Glimwood Tangle and Ballonlea. I found these areas and others to be breathtaking upon first seeing them and I just really adored the look of these games. As for the character models, (the people and the Pokemon) they look just fine. They’re not the biggest upgrade, but they fit in well with the rest of the game’s style, so no problems in that department. If you are to find graphical flaws that aren’t only subjective, they can be found in the Wild Area. The trees and some ground textures (near water in particular) are a bit blurred and wonky. But then you gaze upon the surroundings as a whole and it looks quite nice. The lighting looks incredible in many areas, and I just found myself in awe of just about anything I was looking at. As for the animations, there are some new incredible animations (like Cinderace’s Pyro Ball) and many well-polished animations. There are however some of the same-old animations that didn’t work and still don’t work like double kick and tail whip. Overall, the visuals are extremely nice and just what I’d expect from a next-gen Pokemon game.

My Verdict:

Pokemon Sword and Shield was an exciting new adventure that brought me back to the old days of playing Pokemon, only without all the nuisance problems that once plagued the fun of the experience. This game reminded me of what it was like to wholeheartedly enjoy a new adventure with new lovable partners. The graphics and mechanics are beyond refreshing, even if some areas could be better polished. The narrative isn’t as wide as Gen 7′s, but it’s as solid as I’d expect a Pokemon story to get while not straying too far from the roots of what makes them good to begin with. At the end of the day, experiencing Galar was without a doubt worth the $60 price tag, and the memories gained from the experience is even more priceless.

Final Score: 9.2/10 👍

[ambitionsource]

S1 Rewatch - Mauricio’s Take [1.12]

Well. I knew I’d have to reread this monstrosity at some point. Time to rip off the band-aid. Everyone pray for me JHFDJHGDJFGJKFGJGF

Favorite scene

I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite scene in the sense that it makes me all warm and fuzzy, but the scene towards the end of the episode where the entire class is in the black box theater and confronts Farkle about the video is arguably one of the most well-written and emotionally-packed scenes of Ambition so far. There’s so much going on in this scene; Farkle having to own up for making the video, Maya feeling betrayed, Lucas and Riley’s potential relationship crumbling. This is the moment where all of the build-up and development from the season is broken and things go right back to square one — except shittier. I remember bawling when I read this scene because all of these characters that I’ve become so invested in were put in horrible positions all because of misunderstandings and miscommunications. It felt simultaneously dramatic and grounded, which is a hard balance to strike, but Maggie and Es nailed it. The circumstances were so over-the-top (which, it’s a tv show, so that’s to be expected) but the way the characters reacted were so human and vulnerable, and that’s what really got to me.

Favorite performance

This episode was jam-packed with a ton of stellar performances so it was really hard to pick just one as my favorite, but since I must, I’ve gotta go with “The World Was Wide Enough.” It’s the final performance of the season so it packs a certain emotional punch, and combined with how everything is going to shit, it really does make for such an amazing episode.

Favorite character (within the context of the episode)

This is like asking me to pick my favorite child so. Rude. But when it really comes down to it, I think it’s gotta go to Lucas because he’s been through it. This entire season has been a slow but steady uphill battle where he’s been learning to open up and allow himself to actually feel his feelings. It was such a beautifully written arc and as a viewer, it was so rewarding to watch. This episode was the cherry on top and it had so many great Lucas moments. Him going on his first (not) date with Riley and really letting his walls down for the first time in the entire season made me so ridiculously happy. Then later on when Lucas sees the video and blows up at everyone, I was so crushed because I could feel how upset he was and how even though he was mad on the surface, he was really just disappointed in himself for being stuoid enough to trust Riley. Overall, 1.12 was where Lucas got to shine and showed his range, and even though I’m devastated about what he went through, I’m really excited to see where he goes from here!

Favorite line

“Who needs oxygen?” - Charlie Garder

An underrated moment

Not to be Dasher trash on main, but when Asher picked up Dylan’s phone that moment definitely Hit Hard.

Something I missed the first time around

I missed that 1.12 was so much longer than the other episodes. While I was reading it, I didn’t even feel that much longer than normal, and it wasn’t until Maggie checked the word count and told me that 1.12 is over twenty minutes longer than 1.01 and that was so bizarre to me. I also didn’t notice that there was more dialogue in this episode because it all just flowed so naturally together.

First impression vs my reread impression

When I first read this episode I loved/ hated it so much because...well, duh. There was so much action and drama going on and I was on the edge of my seat for the entire episode. When I reread the episode, I noticed how all of the loose-ends and conflicts perfectly sets up the plot for season two. Obviously I knew that the events of the finale wouldn’t just be randomly dropped (I have too much faith in Maggie and Es for them to do that), but after reading the episode and character descriptions for season two, it’s so clear that everything that happened in 1.12 was done with a clear purpose in mind. I still have absolutely no idea how any of the finale’s problems, but I know I’m in for a wild ride so I’m excited (and scared) for what season two brings!

[cbacofficial]

Connected by a Cable [Chapter Five]

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   As time went on, and gear was acquired, Hioshi and Yukara thought it would be a good time to finally start up the quest for the Artifact Weapon they had in their inventory. Upon using it, a quest appeared before Hioshi in text but a voice narrated it to Yukara. A voice that was cast upon the staff like a message and by using her own magical knowledge, Hioshi could hear it too.    "To whomever picks up my staff, know that my time has come to an end. What you hold is but one of twelve weapons blessed by Mahna herself. Arcanium has tremendous power that none can match. Able to alter the flow of time, whether it be slowing down or turning the clock back, it was a force that no one could stop. Alas, by the time someone finds it...the staff will be all but worn out. I task you to rebuild what would of been lost within time, and take up the mantle of Timebender..."    The quest log Hioshi would see, already explained in more detail what to do. He then said to Yukara "Well it looks like we will be needing a few items. Vials of Timesand, Obsidian plates and... Ten Elementium Bars!?" that last one caused Hioshi to panic. He scrounged around for his phone, looking on the internet and learning the materials required to making the Elementium bars. Already he felt a crushing weight on his virtual wallet. Yukara took notes down as he listed the items for Elementium Bars.    "One Essence of Water, One Essence of Fire, One Essence of Earth, One Essence of Wind and Ten Tears of Mahna...for each bar." Hioshi looked more into the Tears of Mahna and his heart sank further. They were rare nodes that appeared randomly at any given time. Each one only giving somewhere between two to five each one. It would be a nightmare to farm. Yukara had a different outlook. She saw this as a challenge and a way to better bond with Hioshi.    "We can do it, Master! I have faith in you." Yukara happily said through the monitor to Hioshi. The optimistic voice, cheery tone and her smile brought back some faint memories of when Hioshi had fun playing video games. Hioshi agreed. "Alright then. Let's start with the Timesand. It says in the hint log that Timesand is refined, processed and aged in special constructs that cannot be killed by mortal means and the sand can only be obtained while the creature is alive." This made Yukara figure out a location. "Salium Desert! I think I heard of some kind of unkillable monster from the others."     ---    The travel time to the desert wasn't fairly long and unlike previous days, there were more players running around. Clearly the big level rush was calming down finally and the zones will be inhabited by a variety of players rather than one location being a big place. "Wow...So many players..." The usual reaction of Yukara as she spotted players traveling to and from, gathering rare shards and crystals or hunting animals in small parties. Following the clues, they headed to the southern location from what a few players have been messaging on about. Yet it seemed barren and empty...    Then Hioshi noticed a small group gathering around a pile of rocks. Perhaps this was the golem? As Yukara rode up on top of her turtle, she asked them "Hey, what is happening here?" Then one of the Dwarves turned around to talk to her.    "Careful. Rumor has it this unkillable golem has top tier items!" though that was proven false with database files since this monster had no loot. Yet it was the fun and excitement of figuring things out. Hioshi thought this was the best chance they got to getting the sands easily. She then asked before Hioshi had time to send a whisper to another player, "Can I join the group? It sounds exciting!"    With an invite to the group, Hioshi could see the interface display roughly twenty three other players at this location. A rag tag assemble. They waited for everyone to prepare just as a torrent of sand swirled around the golem. The rock parts forming limbs and a head. The core swirled like razor sharp sand but there was a coloration change inside it. A gleam of gold sand among all the brown. That was the Timesand they were looking for!   The tanks whispered to each other who would strike first and hold the boss. Yet while they did, Yukara and Hioshi heard the broken staff's voice explain something.    "Steel yourself, young mage. The elemental before you is blessed by Garu, the God of Earth. To obtain the sand, you must extract it from it's roaring heart when it's exausted it's attacks. Then and only then the Sand can be taken..."    This hint made things easier but the act of taking the sand was the hard part. For they had already engaged the golem! "Ah! W-wait up!" Yukara hurried with the rest, casting spells and striking the golem. The damage they did wasn't harming it like much but each time the Golem used a sand spell, the sand around the core started to dissipate. A frontal blast of sand, rocks rising from pools and slamming it's fists into the group, the Golem was relentless and still unharmed. But Hioshi knew something from watching.    "Yukara, on my command...run to the Golem." she thought he was nuts at first. Running at the Golem? She might as well take a death penalty! Yet she felt confident. Her controller was clearly looking out for her on top of bettering her. To Yukara, this was trust for both of them. Then it happened, Hioshi held down a key to make Yukara run forward as the Golem started to cast his last spell. She closed her eyes, fearing for the pain but then he called out to her. "GRAB IT!" she shot her eyes open. Yukara was in the air and already avoiding the large blast of the golem. Before her was the prize. A glass sphere containing the golden Timesand! Yukara stretched her hand out to grab the orb, missing it once but her other hand knocking it out of place for her to bring it into her arms.    Yukara tumbled across the sand, scuffing herself and leaving sand on her clothes and hair. A dirty deed for her but the prize was definitely worth it. The sand ebb and flowed like an hourglass in the sphere. It shined radiantly to Yukara and Hioshi. They had obtained one part of the staff's restoration. Meanwhile, the group tried looking for loot but sadly there was none to be had. They didn't exactly question why Yukara did what she did and merely disbanded the group. "It's so pretty..." Yukara commented on the sand that failed to stop moving. It was refined beyond anything she had seen. ---    After obtaining the Timesand, the two headed off to the central mountain region known as 'Hellburn Mountains'. The clues they had on hand pointed to this location to obtaining the Obsidian Plates. The interior of the mountain was really hot, but manageable with supplies. Yukara could see the rare few people mining the nuggets to make new materials along the walls of the mountain. The center of the whole mountain held a shrine suspended in air by magic but inaccessible by normal means. The staff then started to resonate.    "Halt! The plates you seek belong to a massive lava serpent. You must be careful of it's magma balls or it will surely turn you into roast beef."    Yukara stopped for a moment to take a look around once more. Hioshi panned his camera behind, trying to spot the creature. Though it didn't seem to emerge yet. "Hioshi...Did it say how to summon the beast?" she asked, sitting on the bank of the lava river. The heated coals shockingly didn't burn her clothes but it was a video game and some things had to be broken to make the fantasy real. As she sat idly and Hioshi started looking on his phone for the answers. Still nothing on the database.    The large magma worm emerged from the lava river. It's entire body was a dark shade of red with glowing cracks in it's armor. It's mandibles dripping with fresh lava as it shrieked a high pitch scream. Loud enough to force Hioshi to turn the volume down and Yukara to cover her ears. "Ow! That is loud!" she soon regained her focus as the magma worm noticed Yukara finally. It's maw clicking and clattering at her like a hungry animal.    Hioshi brought his hands up and ready to assist Yukara...but already she was running away from it. She screamed at how gross it looked while trying to avoid the creature's body being thrashed about onto her. Rocks falling around and forcing Yukara to fight in the corner. Hioshi couldn't really tell what he could do to help her fight this beast. Ice spells were the only thing that would harm this creature, right? So in her haste, Yukara conjured an ice spear to fire onto the creature's body. It dented the armor but otherwise it annoyed him.    "HIOSHI! It's not working! HELP!" Yukara screamed as she tried avoiding a lava lob. The heatwave starting to hit her. Hioshi was honestly unable to truly figure out what to do. Then, all of a sudden from above, a gleam of a weapon came down onto the worm's armored hide, cracking it further before the person landed beside Yukara. He looked to Yukara-    "Y-yukara? What are you doing here?" It was Kael. His armor looked a bit worn from fighting. Yukara then shouted her question to him "What are YOU doing here!?" to which he then parried the gaping maw of the worm away from her. "I...am farming these creatures for their carapaces. Need to craft a few rings from them. You have to use blunt weapons and spells first before you can harm them." This shocked Hioshi. He had never really met anyone else that was quick to figuring bosses out. Hioshi wondered if Rei would be open to talk with in public sometime.    Kael and Yukara bombarded the lava worm's plates, cracking it hit by hit until it shattered into fragments. Exposing it's soft body underneath. "There! Now we can kill it!" Kael announced with a following downward strike infused with light enery as Yukara soon conjured a spike of ice to impale the creature though it's skull. It would take a few more strikes from each before the elite monster fell before them. Curling on the bank of the lava. Prompting Yukara to loot out a few plates. In her moment, she turned to Kael with a wide smile. "Thank you, Kael! I couldn't of done it without you."    Kael blushed gently at the generous and kind words he gave her before the two set off in opposite direction. Hioshi inspect the contents of their inventory to see what else they would require. "...We are missing a few elements of fire. Think you are up to farming a few more elemental creatures in the mountain?" Hioshi asked. Yukara merely nodded in glee. "Of course!" she replied back. "I really want to see how this weapon looks." ---    With the day slowly setting for them, Hioshi bid Yukara a good night. Yukara took this time to relax with her guildmates in the tavern. Kael was quick to greet her with a glass of Manaberry Juice. "You were out a long time. You two grinding items all day?" Nini asked Yukara as she sat down at the table. "Oh...just collecting reagents for raid time. I can't wait to see what secrets lay inside the temple. Maybe there's some awesome rare mount, or enhancement gems or-"    The sound of glass shattering and a frightful scream emanated from a table across. A young Raptear woman, mid level thirties was slowly vanishing before them. From her feet and up, her body slowly fragmented from existence. Everyone in the tavern watched with horror and shock, frozen in place. They could do nothing as they saw her tears fall from her scaled face onto the floor. Everything vanished before her and she vanished before them. Nothing remained. Her weapons, gone. Her backpack, gone. The room was dead silent for ten minutes. Everyone's eyes shifted around and examined the atmosphere.    Then Yukara broke the silence. With tears of fright she asked in a horrified way.   "W-what happened to her?"

[lizziebennet]

Order of favorite to least favorite Harry Potter movies and why? :)

i love getting questions like this!!! 

1. HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN 

this movie is the Official™ best harry potter movie. director alfonso cuaron (who would later go on to win a best director oscar for gravity) completely elevated the series from chris columbus’ movies that were obviously aimed towards children. cuaron took the source material seriously and gave us a well-crafted, well-directed, and pretty faithful harry potter movie. PoA isnt my fave book – not even close to my fave actually but this is both the best movie cinematically and the adaptation that is most enjoyable to watch over and over and over again. there are some sticky moments tho: dan’s acting in the infamous “HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!!!!” scene, the opening scene not making any sense .. at all…,  the character of dumbledore just… in general, the introduction of ron as a vehicle solely for comic relief, and the dropping of wizarding robes at hogwarts. listen, i can complain ab small things from every hp movie for HOURS but overall this movie is just FANTASTIC!! the score!!!!!!!!!! the only movie where they got harrys hair right!!!!! and definetly has the best ending of any harry potter movie. if u wanna know more ab why this movie is awesome check out this video essay which goes in depth about cuaron’s directoral style in this movie.

2. HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

i feel like this is such an underrated hp movie tbh. goblet of fire is such an important book because it sets up the conflict for the rest of the series w voldemort’s return. and thats the main reason this movie gets my #2 spot tbh: the graveyard scene at the end of the movie. this movie isn’t perfect always, but the graveyard scene is a pivotal moment in the series and imo they hit it out of the park in this movie. they didn’t edit the scene to shorten it for time – they have harry and voldemorts first interaction be as tense and lengthy as it is in the books. the scene where voldemort comes out of the cauldron and rubs his head… it gives me chills every time. i think the dark parts of this movie is where it really shines – the opening with frank for example. it makes me SO happy that they opened the movie the same way they do in the book. they do a pretty good job w the character of moody and with showing harrys feelings of isolation and general angst. and yes, everyone has shitty hair in this movie but what can u do. i also take offense w the treatment of fleur in this movie… in fact whose idea was it to make beauxbatons an all female school? and durmstrang all male?? because that was a fucking dumb idea noah fence. another thing that i hate about this movie is the “conversation” between dumbledore and harry at the end of the movie – if you can even call it that. the talk they have in his office in the books is integral to the plot going forward and it is so shitty that they just had like a .2 second scene instead. actually, dumbledore is just horrible throughout this whole movie. another infamous moment w the “DIDYA PUT UR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE!?!??!?!” i remember that michael gambon (dumbledore) just refused to read the books ever and they completely missed the mark on dumbledore. i actually know of a lot of hp fans who hate this movie but i

3. HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE

i know this is a lot of people’s fave or second fave harry potter movie, but i just couldnt give it that #2 spot. its tough because hbp is my 2nd favorite book behind ootp and it means so much to me and there are just some things the movie royally fucks up that i cannot give it so much praise even though, overall it is a good movie. simply put: if i hadn’t read the books this might be my #1 or #2 movie. but alas i have so i get to judge it harshly. lets start out with what the movie does well: this movie does a gREAT job of being a coming-of-age film. we really get a sense of the characters growing up and being teens in this movie and its great and hilarious at some points. this movie also does the best job with the harry/dumbledore relationship. michael gambon stretches himself to be closer to the soft and omniscient dumbledore from the books. he doesnt exactly get there for me but its closer than in any other film with him. they do a good job with the pensive stuff and the introduction of horcruxes, and with the climax of dumledore’s death. the reemergence of quidditch is lovely. HOWEVER, this biggest most irksome thing that i just cannot get over in this movie is the fucking MESS that is harry and ginnys relationship. one of my absolute favorite parts of the book is their relationship – the way harry pines for her and the way they get together (”several sunlit days”!) and they just completely throw all of that in the trash along with ginny’s character. i also dont love how hermione is portrayed in this movie. the way they did her and ron’s relationship is just… not great. in the books its so obvious that they belong together but in the movies its like theyre both just stupid. this movie does a fantastic job of balancing comedy – giving us some of the funniest scenes in an y harry potter movie – with the darkness and threat of voldemort. the way the did the whole sequence in the cave is great. the scene where the death eaters attack the burrow is stupid and unnecessary however. and while i think they do a great job like telling the story in this movie, they dont really go deeper into harrys psyche which is one of my favorite parts of the book – harry realizing and accepting his role as the savior of the wizarding world. the prophecy is kind of ignored in the movies which is … lame but we also miss out of some of my favorite book moments: harry understanding why his parents died and vowing to fight voldemort w his last breath, harry flipping out when he learns that snape is the one who overheard the prophecy, harry fighting scrimgeour. overall, this is a fun movie to watch and it isn’t half bad, but it couldve been so much more in my opinion. 

4. HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE

the original!!!!!!!!!! i rewatched this recently and this is ?? such a solid movie?? most of the credit for this being a good movie goes to jkr for writing a great book, but still they coudlve easily fucked up this movie and then there wouldn’t be a franchise!!!!! so i have to give it a lot of credit. it does a wonderful job of introducing us to the wizarding world, giving us our main characters, and giving us hOGWARTS. the pacing of the movie is great, the kids are soo soosososo cute in it i cant even stand it!!!!! the comedic beats hit, the emotional beats hit. the one beef i have with this movie is that they cast like 40 yr olds to be james and lily in the mirror of erised and they are not!!!!! that old !!!!!!! also they do a great job w effects considering when it was made. watching this movie is like being held by a warm blanket of childhood memories and i love it so much. 

5. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2 

im sure some of you are surprised to see this movie so far down on my list but guess what this movie fucking infuriates me!!!!! let me just start by saying that the majority of this film is actually really good. but the small percentage of the movie that isnt good RUINS THE WHOLE THING FOR ME!!!!!! ill start with the good tho: the gringots sequences. badass. the cinematography in this movie is just like 5x better than most of the series so well done them. snape’s memories sequence is just like really fucking good okay ill give them that like the moment harry looks up after emerging from the pensive knowing he has to die GIVES ME CHILLS. voldemort killing harry in the forest. this is well shot and executed scene. harry being dead and talking w dumbledore is good too one of the only times michael gambon like acts so. the courtyard apocalypse scene. hermione’s “ill go with you”. while i object to this scene being in the movie that line is [gets choked up and cant continue]. like i said the majority of the movie is good, great even. BUT THEY FUCK UP SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS OF THE ENTIRE SERIES!!!!!!!!!! lets start slow: ariana dumbledore. bet u forgot she was in this movie. dont worry the writers did too. why did they make harry some kind of horcrux gps???? no???? WHY DOES HOGWARTS RANDOMLY HAVE A BOATHOUSE THAT WE’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE?? AND WHY DID SNAPE DIE THERE?? ron and hermiones kiss in the chamber of secrets was stupid and doesnt compare to the moment in the books. dont even get me stARTED on harry and ginny. THEM NOT MENTIONING THAT REMUS AND TONKS ARE MARRIED/HAVE A KID UNTIL LUPIN IS DEAD RIP. those things bother me but nothing compares to the fucking mess that is everything after harry comes back to life. good god its the fucking most important act in the entire series… and it is a complete disaster in my opinion. just so many?? horrible?? decisions?? starting with voldemorts speech after harry is “dead”.. why did he hug draco. why. also i dont get nevilles speech at all that was stupid. the reveal that harry was alive is stupid. the fact that they dont kill the snake and have it be like this ooo will they kill the snake in time thing is STUPID. voldemort wrapping harry up in his robes?????? why???? voldemort and harry jumping off a building together???? WHY???? voldemort and harry melding faces????? WHY?????!?!?!?!?!??!?! it just doesnt make any sort of logical sense and its not so exciting to watch. why wouldnt voldemort just KILL HARRY ANY OF THOSE TIMES??? iT DOESNT MAKE SENSE?? i fukcinNNGNNG hate it im sorry. and the final like showdown between them is just not as good as it is in the books??? like them circling each other in the great hall with everyone watching as dawn breaks >> them crawling through rubble outside on a bridge. also it REALLY FUCKING IRKS ME THAT VOLDEMORT LIKE DISINTEGRATES INTO PAPER WHEN HE DIES LIKE. that completely undoes a lot of what the books are saying and like lessens the impact of his death imo. the whole point is that he was trying to be like this immortal god but in the end he died just like everyone else he was HUMAN. they also do that w bellatrix like when molly kills her she like ?? explodes?? it just lessens their deaths i think. and the lack of closure with the elder wand like harry just fucking throwing it into the distance is DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugg ugg ugg. i know my expectations were high and i know its a tough task to finish the series buT they really let me down with the FUCKING CLIMAX OF THE SERIES. like guys it was epic enough in the books u dont need to add this nonsense!!! jfc!!!!

6. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1   

noah fence this movie is just really unenjoyable to watch. its a tough movie to make bc its like 95% just setting up for what happens in part two, but i think they def couldve done a wayyy better job in some areas. one of the great things ab deathly hallows the book is harrys psyche and how angry he is with dumbledore, how he is trying to figure out these clues, his desperation, his fascination with the hallows etc. they really underplayed harrys anger with dumbledore imo giving it just one or two scenes and a handful of moments when i think it couldve been such an interesting emotional core of the movie. they do a good job showing the war and having it be like war movie and being isolated. but they struggle with pace in this one a LOT. however two sequences really stand out to me as Good: 1. bathilda bagshot’s house. in the theater the snake was TERRIFYING waiting for it to jump out that was a good action sequence. 2. the tale of the three brothers. beautiful animation. the ron/hermione conflict with couldve been another emotional center of the movie is glossed over in my opinion (maybe this has something to do w the fact that emma watson can not act like she is enraged???). overall meh tho. i dont go to rewatch this one very often. 

7. HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS

this movie is………….. not great. again it relies totally and completely on jkrs work for any of the good parts of this movie and considering that this may be my least favorite book well…. the camera work in this movie is just bad honestly like they just plop the camera in one spot and film the scene???? gilderoy lockhart is HILARIOUS in this movie however a real gem. there are some good sequences and i love this movie but there are also lots and lots of cringey moments. 

8. HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX 

i debated whether i hate this movie or CoS more but ultimately decided on this one because this movie makes me so angry and CoS is just like moderately not great. [deep breath] ok guys heres the thing: OOTP is my favorite harry potter book. and this movie takes exactly zero (0) of my favorite things about the book and does them in the film. the tone of this movie is angst and suffering but not even in a good way. i love LOVE the angst in the book because it is justified it is raw it is harry working through his feelings and being attacked from every side. the movie just communicates…. sad. theyre just like “oh lets uh have this be blue toned… nice.” they do not go deeper than the plot of OOTP, just the events that happen. they dont get into the story, the message, the POINT OF THE BOOK!!!!!!!!! were they afraid to have people yell in this movie??? like ??? they have mrs figg be soft spoken and just like murmur to harry and uncle vernon and aunt petunia dont really go in at harry like its all very tame?? and then THEY MISS OUT ON HARRY DRAGGING RON AND HERMIONE SO HARD WHEN HE GETS TO THE BURROW!!!!! an iconique scene that instead harry just like says some stuff passive aggressively and then fred and george come and are like “we thought we heard u yelling harry” like how??? he was just speaking at a normal voice??? the movie skips out on the fascinating moments with the order at grimmold place and with ginny and the weasleys to instead give us sirius naked in some weird room at the train station and harry dreaming about voldemort in a suit??? why????????? generally they do a good job with the umbridge stuff but again fail to communicate the deeper meaning of what the fuck is happening like the mINISTRY OF MAGIC IS DENYING THIS!! and what does that do to harry?? and his angst?? some of the stuff with the DA is good but some of it is… not. this movie really fails when they try to incorporate comic relief. it doesnt land great and it just makes me think about how much time we are wasting on this when we could be doing other things. FOR EXAMPLE GRAWP????? GRAWP.  i hate the dumbledore stuff in this movie. like. their relationship isnt set up enough in the previous movies to understand how hurt harry is by dumbledore. instead we get like half-assed scenes like when harry just like calls “sir” to dumbledore but he walks away fast like. really?? THE WAY THEY DID SNAPES’ WORST MEMORY [SCREAMS FOR 1200 YEARS]. LAZY! AS! SHIT! GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD WHAT A NIGHTMARE WHAT A TOTAL DISASTER MY GOODDDddddddd AND THEN ITS LIKE NEVER EVEN ADDRESSED AGAIN???? JESUS CHRIST I SWEAR TO GOD THIS MOVIE IS A MESS. the break into the ministry is okay… its starts the david yates trend of like not saying spells while ur dueling and just having like bright lights come from ur wand which i HATE and also the stupid trend of death eaters apparating with black smoke which i HATE. i have mixed feelings about “nice one james.” sirius’s death is GOOD like the way they have it silent with harry like screaming i like that they did a good job a+. however dumledore and voldemorts fight is……….. strange and just not as good as in the books. also when voldemort possesses harry and harry like has a chat w him?? DUMB. and that leads me to the greatest sin of all…… the reason this movie gets the last ranking… THE LACK OF HARRY AND DUMBLEDORE’S TALK AFTER SIRIUS’S DEATH. my absolute favorite moment in the books. unparalleled. some of the best writing i have ever seen in my life. JUST COMPLETELY GONE. IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY MENTION LIKE THE PROPHECY IN THE MOST FUCKING LAZY WAY EVER IN LIKE HALF OF A SCENE THAT LASTS 1 MINUTE. AND JUST SHOW SOME LAME ASS NEWSPAPER MONTAGE WHICH IS SOOOOOO LAZYYY OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDD. we get NO emotional resolution for harry and dumbledore. we get NO resolution for harry and sirius. its like these events that happen have ZERO consequences. THE PROPHECY!!!! THAT IS THE CENTRAL PART OF THE STORY MY GOD!!! harry finds out he is THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST CUT OUT OF THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT NO WE NEED A SCENE WHERE FILCH GETS BOILS!!!!!!!!! like harry after sirius’s death is so critical like him asking nick if sirius can come back…. harry smashing the mirror… you get none of that emotional depth, that grieving. the ending of the movie is also stupid. also why tf is harry wearing a BLAZER????? god i hate this movie. 

i swear i did not mean for this to get so long but once i start talking about harry potter i CANNOT shut up im so sorry and thanks for asking babe