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#having characters that grow up with you is so cool but also so wild
n04hfiction · 2 days
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Girl Dad Huskerdust HCs
Content/Warnings (If applicable) : fem!implied reader, profanity, daughter!reader goes to the age ranges of a young toddler to a teenager, brief mentions of alcohol + profanity
Proofread? : ✅
A/n : I think it’s a serious problem that I have parental HCs for nearly every Hellaverse character. I need to be stopped. (Or don’t, I don’t care)
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Honestly, depending on your age, the “stricter” father definitely flip-flops here and there
For instance, when you are a young child, Angel is the “stricter” father, even if you don’t have the concept to understand what that entirely means, he’s the one who baby-proofs every thing while Husk kinda lets you run wild
But as you grow and get into your teen years, Angel becomes a lot more laid back, while Husk tends to be more picky about what he allows you to do
Mainly because Husk never imagined himself as a father, so in the beginning, he is sorta unsure, so for him, anything goes, but as you start to age he gets a grip and with that, comes strictness
When you are a younger child, Angel is 100% dressing you until you decide to do that on your own (part of him hopes you’ll let him dress you forever). He’s very protective of you when you’re a toddler/younger child, Hell isn’t always a safe place, everything even slightly unsafe or tempting is gated or baby-proofed
As you age, like I said, Ange is much more lenient. He’s ready to watch you rock the world! Wanna go out to a party? For sure! Be home by 2, go nuts! Have a crush? Great! Your old man will help ya out! Wanna get drunk as fuck? Fine, just do it in the house!
Honestly, Husk is a bit of a confusing father, to say the least. He’s lowkey freaked out by the idea of toddlers and younger children, so when you’re in your first few years he lets Angel take the lead, he kinda watched and observes his behaviors.
Which leads Husk to being more cautious of a parent as an adult (Learned from his hubby, that’s for sure). Even though him and Angel are far from over, he’s still very cautious about the idea of love, so he’s very sketchy about your relationships with boys (or girls! He doesn’t judge!)
When events like your first day of school, first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, first heartbreak, homecoming, prom, etc - You may think Angel is the one to get emotional, but it’s actually Husk - Angel is just as excited as you are, getting you dolled up and whipping out his camera to take pictures, but deep down, Husk is honestly sad that his baby girl is growing up - Especially cause he was too tense in the beginning to really enjoy your younger years
Seriously though, Husk is happy you’re a bit older, he feels like he’s able to have more of a connection with you. He likes it when you come to the bar and just sit there and talk, even if you’re only drinking a juice box.
Husk still doesn’t know how to talk with a teenager all that well, but he’ll ask you how school is, and how you’re friends are, he wants to show that he takes a genuine interest in the other aspects of your life.
Angel on the other hand is very eager to walk with you through your teenage years, he’s the dad that all of your friends think is cool as fuck, but you think he’s crazy embarrassing. He’s the kind of dad to also be friends with your friends. He’ll come in your room during sleepovers and do your friends makeup, skincare, nails, ect
Despite the fact that Angel does pretty much let you run wild once you get older, he’s very strict on safety, in every aspect. - He doesn’t want you to get fucked over like he did, and he doesn’t want that to destroy you, he really does try his best to guide you on a different path, any path that isn’t the one he fell down
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lyraofthestarsss · 1 year
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Thinking a lot about the graduation set rn
Bonus:
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ahundredtimesover · 4 months
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I Want You to Stay (01) | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)
Chapter Word count: 12k
Series Masterlist
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Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
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A/N: Happy 2024, everyone! 🎉 Dropping this tonight as a welcome to the new year and the start of the wild journey that is this story. It's a different JK that I'm used to writing. It's also a different arrangement for me as the story is still being written, so just a heads up that updates won't be as regular compared to before, but they'll definitely come (pls don't come at me hehe 😁)! This is also a painfully slow build-up with lots of details and office talk so please be patient! I don’t know how this will turn out and be revived but I hope you enjoy! 💕
Also my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight as always 🥰
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Jung Hoseok’s smile is like a ray of sunshine - warm on cool mornings, radiant on sunny afternoons. It’s light and infectious, but more than anything, it’s genuine. There’s comfort in the way his entire face beams and how the rest of his body follows; there’s this sense of openness that makes it easy to be around him, that makes it easy to work for him.
It was 10 years ago when you first encountered that smile - bright and encouraging as he welcomed you and the rest of the interns to his family’s company. It slowly dissolved the anxiety you were feeling over being 1 of 12 chosen students to work for one of the leading real estate and property development corporations in the country. You’d see it again two years later as an employee, and you recall how he perked up at the sight of you, having remembered those eight weeks you spent preparing the conference room for their meetings and serving the executives their coffee. 
You wouldn’t have expected that five years after that, you’d be seeing that smile everyday as his executive assistant, and it was one of the things that made the job bearable. Despite the long hours and the amount of work you had to do and events you had to accompany him to, working for Hoseok always felt worth it. Despite the insane amount of pressure he was put under and the stress he had to endure, Hoseok somehow always managed to smile. 
He was serious when he had to be, but there was joy in how he did things. He allowed himself moments of calm, of time to check in on his support team for a few laughs. He’d spare himself a few minutes a day to sway to the soft music he plays in his office, he’d preside over meetings with vigor, and he’d start and end every interaction with anyone with that smile - the same smile that assures you that all your hard work is appreciated and which encourages you to keep learning.
It’s that same smile that he has on right now, as he hands you a custom-made cake with ‘you worked hard’ written on it. He says the words as your eyes turn to him in surprise. 
“Thank you for all that you’ve done,” Hoseok says. “I know you were new to the role just like I was but you made everything so easy for me. I’m gonna have to get used to being without your brilliance, Ms. Cho. I hope you never doubt yourself ever again.”
Your astonished face turns into a pout, as it dawns on you that it’s Friday, the first unofficial day of you no longer being Hoseok’s executive assistant, given his appointment as President not long ago. Yet despite the big change he’ll be experiencing starting next week, he’s the one affirming and comforting you, something that’s rare for someone of his stature and something you’ll definitely miss. 
“You know I don’t cry, but I just might,” you respond, earning you a chuckle. “But really, I… I can’t thank you enough for taking a chance on me. I know my credentials weren’t like the others but—”
“Ms. Cho,” he interjects. “The only credentials those other applicants had were the universities they went to, but none of them matched your level of skill and dedication to the role. I can assure you that none of them would’ve managed the past three years like you did. I should be thanking you for dealing with all the craziness with me.”
“You’re a good boss, it’s that simple,” you return the compliment now. “You were patient with me and challenged me to be better without putting me down. That does a lot for a person’s confidence, you know?”
“I know that now,” he smiles again. “But really, I don’t think I could’ve asked for a more competent right-hand woman. Jungkook’s lucky he’s taking my position with the most capable assistant to help him out.”
At the mention of the man’s name, your face sours, something that Hoseok picks up, earning you another laugh. 
“Not a fan of him, I see,” he eyes you curiously.
“I don’t mean any disrespect, Mr. Jung, but your cousin is not you,” you explain. “I may have only seen him a handful of times but those are enough to let me know that he does not smile.”
“Yes, I do confirm that,” Hoseok chuckles. “Jungkook’s quite the perfectionist and very much a workaholic. But he’s brilliant and creative and you’ll learn a lot from him, too. He’s being primed to co-lead the company with me and he needs a strong support for that and I think that’s you. His father thinks that’s you, and for the CEO to think so means a lot, ___. Uncle has seen how you work and was adamant that you remain in this role, especially with his son assuming the Vice President position.”
You know that Hoseok means to reassure you, but you suppose your insecurities over having this role and even being in this company won’t ever really go away. You didn’t graduate from a prestigious university in Seoul like most employees here did, and in this society, that usually means everything. You’re thankful for the trust that you’ve been given and you agree that you worked hard for it, too, but it will always be overwhelming; even then, it sometimes still feels undeserved. 
At your silence, Hoseok speaks again. “___, as your former boss and as your friend, I’m here to back you up. Jungkook’s family but if he, for some reason, acts like a hard-headed jerk, you let me know, okay?”
He turns serious now, as he silently asks for you to promise him that you’ll speak out if you need to. Hoseok knows what you went through under Mrs. Byun, the former manager who abused her power over you until her own slip-up caused her downfall years later, and he doesn’t want you to go through that again. 
“Okay. But I didn’t mean to imply that he’s a jerk just because he doesn’t smile,” you clarify. “I guess I meant to say that… I’ll miss working for you. That’s all. We somehow always got a laugh in, no matter how stressful things were. I’ll miss being with A-yeong, too.”
“I know you also meant to say that I’m the best boss you’ve ever had,” Hoseok chuckles, though you don’t miss the sadness in his eyes, too. “But I’ll just be two floors above you. You’ll still see me everywhere. And A-yeong’s gonna miss you, too, that’s why she can’t let you go without having dinner out, that I’m apparently not invited to.”
“We’re just gonna gossip about you, don’t worry,” you tease, appreciative of the fact that his wife has been kind to you all these years, apologizing to you on his behalf during the rare times he’s cranky, and gifting you little things from their trips abroad. “But thank you again, Hoseok,” you continue, dropping the formalities when you mean to speak to him as a friend, because that’s what he is, and it’s a rarity in this industry where those in power tend to take advantage of those below them. “You’ve treated me well, and I’ll never forget that.” 
“Thank you, ___,” he smiles once more. “I’ll finish setting up my new office now. I’ll see you there in 30 minutes, okay? I know Jungkook officially starts on Monday but he wanted to get all the administrative stuff out of the way as soon as possible and since my old room is being sanitized, he’ll be staying at mine the whole morning. HR has everything he needs to sign so please get those documents from them before heading to my office.”
“Oh, so he’s coming today?” You ask, unable to hide the mix of surprise and disappointment in your voice. You’re clearly uninformed about this. “Didn’t he just arrive last night?”
“Yes, he did. I thought he’d at least spend today resting but no, he called me an hour ago to say he’ll drop by this morning so he can get straight to business on his first day,” Hoseok explains, shaking his head at the thought of his cousin wanting to get straight to work. “I know it’s short notice so you don’t need to brief him or anything yet. You’ve been buried in organizing all my files this past week after all.” 
“Okay, but I’ve got everything organized for him already anyway in case he wants to start,” you say, having prepared all the documents he’d need to ease into his role more smoothly, knowing it’s your job to help him with that. 
“Of course you have,” Hoseok chuckles, impressed as always with how on top you are of everything. “I’ll see you in half an hour.”
You sulk in your seat once he’s out of view, whining internally because much as your files are ready for your new boss, you’re the one who isn’t. You’d held off on mentally preparing yourself for meeting the Jeon Jungkook, second son of the current CEO of Jeon Corporation and the new Vice President, thinking you’d have the entire weekend for that, so you’re caught off guard at having to face him today. It’s one thing to move on from no longer having Jung Hoseok as your boss - that itself took you months to process and accept; it’s another to have to get used to assisting someone else, someone you know is completely different in attitude and approach to his work.
Jungkook used to be an executive in the Singapore office, the Southeast Asian headquarters of the company. In your three years as Hoseok’s assistant, you’d only seen Jungkook a few times, such as when he’d fly to Seoul for an official visit or a family gathering but you never interacted, as you didn’t really have a reason to, especially since you were always busy with making sure the event was running smoothly. 
But you’d definitely noticed him, partly because the female staff always talked about him when he was around, and partly because next to his parents and his cousins, who are all personable in their own ways, Jungkook sticks out like a sore thumb. You’re not exaggerating when you say that you’ve never seen him smile - not for the pictures and not when he’s talking to the other executives and employees, a contrast to his father’s infectious charm and his mother’s youthful energy.
You’ve gotten used to Hoseok’s passion balanced with his thoughtfulness and joy - you always enjoyed the videos that A-yeong would show you of their weekends doing ballroom dancing because it’s what he loved to do with her. You’re unsure how you’ll manage assisting someone who’s the complete opposite. You’ve heard of Jungkook’s abilities though; his father always spoke of them with pride. Creative and innovative, he’d say of his son, but he always lived in his head, too, and perhaps that’s why even if he can socialize with others, he prefers not to, given that you’d always seen him at the bar after said events, drinking on his own.
You didn’t think those times that you’d one day be having him as your boss. You didn’t expect the appointments to come this soon, nor did you expect to still be in the company by the time they happened. But here you are, about to meet him and hoping to the heavens that whatever preconceived notions you have of him based on what very little you know would be proven wrong. 
Wanting to calm yourself down before meeting him, you head to the management support team’s office for a cup of tea in the pantry, but you’re stopped by Do-hyun, one of the project assistants. 
She hugs you like she always does, even if you rarely ever return it, and she whines like you expect her to, given her unusually pouty face. 
“It’s only been an hour but I already miss Mr. Jung,” she laments. “Why did they appoint him as President so soon? They could’ve waited for another year or so, or at least let him take us with him!”
You find yourself being the reasonable one this time, as you pull her away from you so you could talk to her properly. 
“We always knew he was going to be President, Do-hyun. But then the Board decided to make Ji-woo head of the Singapore office after their uncle stepped down, and that meant Hoseok had to take his sister’s place,” you explain, knowing how generational corporations like this work, with family members rotating in the executive positions. “And much as he’d like to take us with him, the position already comes with its own team. He’s just two floors above us, though. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if we popped in every once in a while to say hi.”
“No, I’m bitter,” she pouts again, earning her a laugh from you.
“Well, at least the new Vice President isn’t a stranger,” Manager Lee chimes in. 
“I heard the CEO’s son doesn’t smile,” Do-hyun counters. “How do we go from assisting someone who literally gives all of us the energy to work each day, to someone who doesn’t think there’s anything worth being happy about? I also heard he’s a workaholic, so what if he demands that we can’t leave the office until he does? And that he’s kind of a fuck boy, so what if he has a scandal that we have to—” 
“Yah! Those are just hearsay, and we don’t listen to those,” you warn her, not wanting the team to start on a bad note because of some rumors about your new boss that may or may not be true. 
And if those are, it’s your job to make sure that those are handled properly and that there’s no friction between the management support team and the Vice President. The thought suddenly hits you and you feel nauseous. You’ve never had these worries with Hoseok because he always prioritized the team - he made sure that tasks were properly delegated, that you all took your well-deserved break, that you weren’t burnt out, that you all knew he got your back the way you all got his. 
But then again, it’s natural to be anxious about change, especially when what you had was already the best it could’ve been. And much as you were the one worrying about this earlier, you’re now the one who has to reassure the team, especially the younger members, that things are going to be okay. 
“You’ll meet him soon, and I’ll make sure he’s properly oriented with everything before he sits down with you all,” you say. “Let’s just be optimistic about this, okay? Manager Lee has been here a while and he can guide all of us when it comes to adapting to changes like this.”
The rest of the team nods, voicing their agreement about being open and welcoming to your new boss. 
“Okay, good. Now let me get my tea before I combust,” you chuckle, heading towards the adjacent room. 
You’re busy taking breaths in between sips of your hot drink when you see a familiar face in the room through the glass window, prompting you to head back outside.
“Mr. Ri,” you greet, causing the man before you to turn towards you. “What are you doing here? Does Mr. Jeon need anything?” 
Knowing you’re referring to the elder Jeon, Mr. Ri shakes his head. 
“I’m here as Jungkook’s chauffeur and bodyguard, actually. His father appointed me, wanting people he trusts to help his son,” he clarifies. “I’ve just driven him from his penthouse.”
“Oh,” you say, unable to control the way your face falls a little. “So, he’s here.”
“He is. He said he wanted to get things done today so he doesn’t waste his time when he starts next week. He’s at Hoseok’s office right now. I believe he’s supposed to sign some documents?”
“Oh shit,” you blurt out, immediately setting down your half-finished tea and rushing out the door to speed-walk to your desk, ignoring Mr. Ri’s demand for you to slow down. 
With what little you know of your new boss, he seems like the type to not excuse tardiness, so you take your files, head to HR to retrieve some documents, and then proceed to Hoseok’s office. You try to catch your breath as you head towards the door, which opens before you get to knock, revealing Bitna, the President’s assistant, who greets you with a sweet smile. 
“Hi, ___. I was just about to call you,” she says. “CEO Jeon is inside as well. Just walk in, they’re waiting for you.”
You cross the small hallway as the door gently closes, and you stop in your tracks the moment you hear Jungkook’s voice.
“I still prefer my old assistant,” he says, obviously displeased. “He was very organized, highly educated, and well-traveled. While this Ms. Cho didn’t even study in a top university in Seoul. And Hoseok says she doesn’t know any other foreign languages when that’s one of my requirements.”
“Son, you’re being too harsh,” CEO Jeon chides. “Ms. Cho is a top performing employee, very hardworking and dedicated. She’s worked here for eight years and she imbibes all our values; she knows the company culture and knows the ins and outs of things with how she’s been exposed to them. Ask your cousin; Hoseok speaks highly of her.”
“___ is great, Kook. She’s incredibly organized and highly analytical and observant. She doesn’t need a Seoul education to be good at what we need her to be good at,” Hoseok argues. 
“I still want my old assistant. It’s more convenient that way. Lucas already knows how I work and what I require of him,” Jungkook insists. “I’m just saying that I need things to be efficient and she and I can’t be adjusting to each other when there are multiple projects that I’d much rather give my attention to.”
“And I’m saying that Ms. Cho probably knows more than you do when it comes to these projects,” the elder Jeon counters. “Plus, your old assistant would have to adjust to life in Seoul and that’s harder. It’s just not practical, especially since you’re due to start in a few days. You have other things to worry about. ___ is there to make your life easier. Give her that chance to do her job.”
“But I—”
“Good morning, gentlemen,” you greet, not wanting to hear whatever unfounded things that Jungkook has to say, even if you have your own preconceived notions about him which, you remind yourself, are partly founded. Barely five minutes in and you already can’t stand his judgmental and entitled ass. 
You walk towards the middle of the room where they’re congregated on the couches, with the elder Mr. Jeon and Hoseok smiling at you while Jungkook merely glances at you, his jaw clenched, perhaps irritated at the fact that you’d overheard him completely misjudge and undermine your abilities without even knowing who you are.
“Good morning, Ms. Cho,” CEO Jeon says. “I know you’ve seen him a few times but I’d like you to officially meet my son and the new Vice President, Jungkook.”
Jungkook turns to you with a disinterested look but he doesn’t meet your eyes. You bow as a sign of respect, even if it’s the last thing you think he deserves.  
“My pleasure, Mr. Jeon,” you respond. “I was told that you’d like to proceed with administrative matters this morning. I have all the documents with me and I can explain each one to you before you sign them. I’ve also consolidated all the things you need to know prior to your meetings next week,” you add, handing him an iPad. “This has the resumes of each member of your management support team, including their professional and development goals. Mine are there as well, so you can read about my credentials and achievements in this company the past eight years, which I think have tremendously helped me in performing my duties satisfactorily. There’s also a folder of team profiles of each of the departments you’re overseeing. You’ll also find closure reports of completed projects from the past five years, progress reports of ongoing projects, and approved and working proposals of upcoming ones. I’ve included summaries and key figures for each of them. You may read them prior to your meetings, and if there’s anything missing that you’d like me to include, I can have them ready by the end of the day.”
“Hmm,” Jungkook hums, as he scrolls through all the folders you’ve prepared for him.
In your periphery, you can see the other two men holding in smiles as you seemingly render the younger man speechless, but while he assesses all that you’ve provided to him, you’re given time to observe the man seated before you. Other than his slightly longer hair, not much has changed from when you saw Jungkook in last year’s gala. 
As he drags his tongue across the inside of his cheek with his scrunched eyebrows in judgment, you’re reminded that this is the first time you’ve seen him up close. And even from his angle, you can tell. 
He’s unfairly handsome. 
He’s got dark expressive eyes, soft-looking pink lips, and a sharp jawline that complement his lean figure. You understand why the staff are enamored by him even from afar and - if the rumors about him are true - why women would shoot their shot with him at clubs, in hopes they’d be the lucky one he’d choose to be with for the night.
The illusion breaks, though, as he turns to you with a hardened gaze. 
“I’m sure I’ll find something that’s missing,” he states.
“If they’re relevant and necessary, I can have the files ready by today,” you respond, knowing full well that you’ve included every possible document that would be of use to him. 
“I’ll be the judge of what’s relevant and necessary, Ms. Cho,” he counters. 
“Of course, Mr. Jeon,” you say, conceding. “Whatever it is, then I’ll make sure to have them ready for you as soon as possible.”
Jungkook hums in response, turning his attention to the HR documents this time, breezing through the text and ignoring your brief explanations of the contents before signing at the bottom of the pages. You inform him of sections he’s missed, and he groans at having been corrected but you don’t mind. He’s the one who chose to do all this now and in here, in front of his father and his cousin.
Once he’s done, he hands you the signed files and holds your gaze. “Is there anything else, Ms. Cho?”
“I suppose that is all, Mr. Jeon. Unless there are other things you want to assess, or people you want to ensure are qualified to assist you with your functions,” you say. 
Jungkook huffs in displeasure. You can sense the tension build, as irritation paints his face. It’s at that moment that his father chimes in, suggesting that you introduce him to his team.
“You can maybe also orient him on the current projects and partnerships,” the older man says. 
“That can wait. I’ve had enough of engaging for today,” Jungkook responds, his voice cold, detached. 
“In that case, let me lead you to your floor, Mr. Jeon.”
You step back and wait for him to walk ahead, before you excuse yourself from the older men. You don’t miss the sorry looks on their faces, and you give them a smile as if to say that it’s fine, that Jungkook’s someone you can handle, and his obvious displeasure towards having you as his assistant doesn’t faze you. It doesn’t change the fact that you wish he wasn’t your boss though, or at least, that he wasn’t such a jerk like what he’s being right now.
Walking behind him as you both head towards the elevator, you see the way he carries himself - hands in the pockets of his sleek black trousers, his eyes focused straight ahead, nothing like Hoseok who was always gesticulating as he spoke to you every time you walked side-by-side from one place to another.    
Jungkook stands in front of the doors, seemingly waiting for you to press the buttons and you do it before he could even express his annoyance. You stand in front this time, then make sure you hold the doors open for him to exit, and you resume your spot behind him as you walk down the hallway. 
“On the left are two small meeting rooms and one conference room,” you start, thankful that there’s not much to tour him around on this floor, given that everything is exclusive to the Vice President. “On the right is a seating room, and up ahead is an archive room. Down the—”
“I’ve been here before, Ms. Cho,” Jungkook interjects as he looks at you blankly. “This is my family’s building; I’m very much aware of how the floors look like.”
Not rattled by his disruption, you nod and smile, wanting to show him that whatever intimidation or humiliation he’s trying to make you feel isn’t gonna work on you. You know if you show any sign of frustration, that will just give him a reason to have you replaced and despite your clear dislike for the man, you need this job, especially this position that allows you to pay your rent in a safe part of town and send money to your family every month. At this point, that’s the only thing that will keep you going.
Approaching the management support office, you walk faster and make sure to enter the room before he does, signaling the team with your eyes that their new boss is coming, your silently frantic gaze telling them to be on their best behavior because their usual antics won’t work on Jungkook the way they did with Hoseok. 
Once Jungkook appears, everyone bows and greets him, and you can sense them holding their breaths as they look up, taking him all in. You see him eye each person, and you can tell he’s already assessing them individually. You take it upon yourself to introduce each one, stating their name, where they studied and what course they took, describing their primary role in the team and their specific strengths. You see him follow your words, nodding and humming as you go, and you think he’s processing the information and making sure he remembers them. 
There are no pleasantries; Jungkook just goes straight to the point. 
“I’m sure you have concerns about having a new boss and the changes that come along with it. But I’m here to tell you now that you should get over whatever those are, as I’d like the adjustment period to be as short as possible,” he starts. “My cousin is brilliant at his job and so am I, but we work very differently, so whatever you got used to doing with and for him, don’t expect the same with me. I demand excellence and efficiency from each one of you because that’s what I commit myself to and that’s the only way that this team will be able to do its job. Am I clear?”
“Yes, sir,” the team answers in unison. 
“We commit to those as well, Mr. Jeon,” Manager Lee says. “As the head of your support team, I will make sure that all our deliverables are of high quality and that things will run smoothly so that we may properly do our job of assisting you.”
“That’s good, and that’s what I expect,” Jungkook says, nodding at everyone before walking out the door to head to his office, with you trailing him from behind. 
“Is my room still being sanitized?” He turns to you. 
“Yes, sir.”
“Why did it need to be sanitized? And why today?”
“It’s protocol, sir. We also had a sendoff for Mr. Jung yesterday so the room smelled of food. And he instructed for this to be done today so that I don’t need to come here tomorrow, as he doesn’t like any of his staff working during the weekend,” you reply. “This should be finished this afternoon. I’ve also purchased the oil for your diffusers. The room will be ready for you by Monday.”
Jungkook merely hums and looks around, specifically at your designated area with your desk and shelves at the back, then takes a call before turning to you again to say that he’s heading out to meet his friends.
“Is there anything else you need, Mr. Jeon?” You ask, thankful that you don’t have to deal with him for the rest of the day.
“No.”
“Okay then, sir. I’ll meet you at your apartment at 6:30 AM on Monday. Is that time alright?”
“Sure,” he responds, then turns around and starts walking out. “Just keep your phone on. I work during the weekend.”
He’s gone before you can even respond, and you rush to the support office once you’ve heard the elevator ding that indicates that he’s gone. When you get there, you’re greeted with everyone’s frowns, with Do-hyun close to tears.
“I don’t like him, ___. He looks so unapproachable and too serious!” She complains. “I miss Mr. Jung. Is there an opening in his team? Should I just resign?”
“Aish!” You reprimand her. “Don’t speak like that. And don’t let those few minutes determine everything for you.”
“Well, those few minutes are enough to tell me that I don’t like him. No matter how good-looking he is,” Chin-sun says.
“He is, right!” Do-hyun chirps now, a complete 180 from seconds ago. “I’ve seen him around but I didn’t think he’d be even more handsome up close! It just sucks that he’s a grinch and that makes all the difference. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t have a girlfriend! He’s probably too snobby and—”
“Yah! You really need to stop it with those rumors,” you scold her this time. “That’s your boss. His personal life is none of our business. Where do you even hear these things?”
“Every washroom in this building, basically. Staff are always gossiping there, you know?” Do-hyun responds. 
“And since when do we listen to gossip,” you scowl at her. “Sure, he’s not our favorite person right now but we don’t have the right to make claims about aspects of his life. And where are people even getting those ideas!”
“People talk, I guess,” she shrugs. “And he’s often spotted in clubs with those Kim brothers so maybe they see things. I’m not saying they’re all accurate… just that rumors often have some truth to them, you know?”
“No, I don’t, and we shouldn’t be sticking our noses in places where they shouldn’t be,” you say.
“Fine, but it’s just a heads up,” Do-hyun says, turning serious now. “You’re his executive assistant, and you have no choice but to stick your nose in places because personal and professional lines are often blurred in your situation, and that’s just how our world’s set up.”
“She’s right,” Chin-sun chimes in. “I mean, you need to know his personal schedule, go to his apartment, do errands if you need to, maybe buy a box of condoms if he runs out… You just got lucky that Mr. Jung’s pretty chill and has a wife who’s even nicer than he is. Your only problem was that he was damn scared of everything that moved and wasn't human.”
You’d laugh at the last statement if you could, but you know they’re both right. Hoseok wasn’t perfect, and neither was his marriage, but it never reached a point where you had to be put in a compromising position because you were his assistant who, by nature of your work, had to be privy to some of his personal matters. The most involved you were was when he and A-yeong had an argument and they used you as their messenger, but even that was more of a miscommunication issue than anything serious. They apologized to you after and promised to never put you in that kind of situation again.
But with Jungkook as a single man, you’re unsure what personal business you’d end up being involved in. You just wish it wasn’t something that would test your principles and cause you to lose your job. Regardless, whatever that would be isn’t something you can even really talk about with others.
“Well, I don’t wanna think about any of that right now,” you sigh, knowing you’ve got enough to worry about, such as how you’re going to start surviving everyday assisting a man who clearly doesn’t want you around. 
But if he’s gonna be a hard-head about it, then you’re just going to have to match him. You got to where you are because you’re determined to prove yourself constantly, and you’ll just show him that he needs you, and he doesn’t really have a choice unless he wants to argue with his father. 
You try to encourage your team once more and give Do-hyun that rare hug in comfort before going back to your desk, intent on finishing all the presentations for your briefing with Jungkook next week. You begin setting up his room by mid-afternoon, using a photo of his Singapore office as a basis since you were told that he prefers a certain style for his furniture and decor. You’re no stylist but over an hour after you finish, you think you did pretty good. You were so into designing the space that you didn’t notice the time fly by; before you know it, it’s 6PM, because you can hear A-yeong right outside calling for you.
“Hi,” she chirps, hugging you in greeting. “Are you ready?”
“I’ll just pack my things,” you say, walking to your desk. 
A-yeong takes a peek at the room and praises your efforts. “This looks so different from how it used to be. And that’s good because those cousins have such different tastes. But I think Jungkook will like this. He’s into the masculine and moody vibe, so good job, ___.”
You know that despite her kindness, she wouldn’t lie, and you could only hope that she’s right. You think it looks nice, but it’s what he thinks that matters; you’ll just have to wait until Monday to find out. 
As you’re about to leave, Hoseok appears in the hallway and asks how you are. Your scowl pretty much gives you away.
“I’m sorry about Jungkook, ___. He’s stubborn and a hot-head sometimes but he isn’t always like that, and this isn’t me making excuses for him,” your former boss says. 
“Why, what did he do?” A-yeong asks worriedly. 
“Basically implied that I’m not qualified for this role, among other things,” you respond. “But it’s okay. Not like I haven’t heard that before.”
“And you know that’s not true,” Hoseok comforts you. “He’s not good with change, that’s all, and you know how these appointments were all pretty short notice and he’s just been frustrated ever since. But whatever it is he said, don’t take them to heart. He’ll get a word from me, and he’ll definitely get one from his father.”
You want to say that it’s not easy to just disregard what Jungkook said; he’s your boss after all, and all that matters is what he thinks about you. But you’re not one to air out these feelings to Hoseok now that you’ve experienced a bit of what it’s like, so you just shake your head and ask the older man to let it go.
“He’s probably just tired,” you make an excuse this time, not wanting to discuss further with Hoseok. “And he had that assistant for over five years. I can understand wanting that familiarity and convenience. I’m just gonna have to adjust; there are a lot of things going on right now and he’ll need to focus on the projects, not his compatibility with his assistant.”
“But that matters though,” Hoseok insists. “I got things done because we worked well together. He’s gonna have to meet you in the middle with this one. And I’ll make sure that he does.”
“I know you said you want to look out for me but I don’t think it’s a good idea if you intervene this time, Mr. Jung,” you say, letting him know you’re serious and you mean business. “I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me.”
You give him a comforting smile, and you hope it’s enough to quell Hoseok’s own worries and it works this time. He returns it before letting you and his wife go, and it’s the Thai dinner and incredible desserts that somehow make up for your not-so-great day. 
You think the weekend will give you the peace you need to face your dreaded week - you do your errands and chores on Saturday and go to the market and watch a movie by yourself in the cinema the next day. 
All it took was a text from Jungkook that Sunday evening, asking for copies of certain policies and disapproved proposals from the last five years, that just had to ruin it, as you spend the entire evening consolidating the files, making you already wish it was Friday.
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Jungkook’s apartment building is one of the Jeon properties that you haven’t been to yet, as it’s one of the newer massive residential structures that they built three years ago. You enter the sleek-looking lobby then submit your documents at the reception in exchange for your own access, and you internally marvel at how luxurious everything looks. 
You get to the 42nd floor, and it seems that there are only two units here. You walk towards the one on the right, choosing to be on the safe side by ringing the doorbell. It’s Monday, after all, and it’s your first time here; you don’t want to just enter without him permitting you to do so. 
You’re about to press the button again after a minute of no response, when the door opens and you take a moment to process the sight before you. 
There, standing just a few feet away, is Jungkook with nothing but a pair of black gym shorts on, his taut chest glistening in sweat, and his entire right arm covered in black and colored ink. His hair is damp and ruffled, and it’s probably due to the boxing he’d just done, as evidenced by the wraps on his knuckles and the way he’s panting heavily. 
You get your senses back and look away, not wanting to look affected by his half-naked form, even if you’re the one who has to catch her breath this time because much as you dislike the man, you can’t deny that his body is something that definitely deserves to be praised. 
“You’re here,” he speaks first, surprise laced in his voice as he takes in your obviously flustered form.
“I asked if 6:30 AM was a good time to come, Mr. Jeon,” you answer, glancing at him before looking at whatever you could behind him. “Perhaps I misheard your confirmation. I can wait downstairs if you’re not yet done with your exercise. My apologies for coming in early.”
You don’t actually have anything to be sorry for; he did confirm the time, and he’s the one who decided that working out at this hour was a good idea, knowing that his assistant’s scheduled to come. You would’ve appreciated it if he says you don’t need to apologize, but he doesn’t.
“It’s fine, I just finished,” he huffs. 
He leaves the door open for you to enter then heads straight to the large room on the right, which looks to be an indoor gym. You allow yourself a few seconds to look at his retreating form, quietly gasping as his broad shoulders and slender waist blind you a little, then scolding yourself for doing so. You stay rooted by the kitchen and look around the spacious penthouse as you wait for him to return. He exits the gym wearing a loose white shirt now, combing his hair with his fingers as he drinks a bottle of water.
“So, Mr. Jeon, uh, I would prepare Mr. Jung’s outfits for the week and then help his house staff make his breakfast. I run down his schedule as he eats. Are you okay with the same arrangement?” 
“Sure. I just don’t have any staff with me so you’re on your own. I’m fine with anything though. I’m not usually hungry in the morning,” he says before walking to the other side of the apartment.
You follow him, careful not to enter spaces you’re not given permission to, which is why you stand by his bedroom door before asking to come in. 
“How will you prepare my clothes from there?” He huffs. “Of course you can enter. Just be done before I finish taking a shower.”
You nod shyly and then head to the walk-in closet that thankfully has a separate door from the bathroom. He’s already unpacked his clothes, although not everything has been organized. You spot a few suits that are ready to wear, and you fix those first, taking note of asking him if there are things he wants dry cleaned or pressed. 
You leave his bedroom in time, hearing him slide open the door as you make it out, and proceed to make his breakfast. There’s really not much you can create with what little he has, so you make do with eggs and toast and whatever spread you find in his cupboard.
Jungkook walks into the kitchen not long after, the dark gray suit looking immaculate on him as you expected. Spotting his crooked necktie, you immediately walk up to him to fix it, unaware of how he holds his breath with how close you are. Noticing his body stiffen, you step back right away, apologizing for not asking permission first. 
He looks away and says it’s fine, then sits on the spot at the dining table where you’ve set up his meal. He stares at it for a good few seconds, prompting you to explain yourself.
“That’s… that’s all I could make with what you have, Mr. Jeon,” you say. “I can arrange for online groceries for you, as well as dry clean and pressing for your clothes and—”
“I’m having someone come in to clean my place and do all of that,” he says, as he takes a bite of his food. “So, what’s my week like?”
You start to enumerate the conference and lunch meetings he’ll be having this week, including who they’ll be with and their purpose. They’re mostly with the department leads to discuss updates on processes and current projects, and you’re thankful that Hoseok involved you as much as he did, given that Jungkook’s questions are more specific than you expected. 
Sure, he’s a Jeon and obviously works in the same company, but the Southeast Asian projects are different from the ones being implemented in South Korea, and while he used to oversee overall compliance to design standards, he’ll now be in-charge of setting those very standards this time. As Vice President, he’ll be involved in crafting policies; he’s also free to manage his own construction projects, and that’s what the support team is for. Given his much more expansive role this time, there are more departments and projects to oversee, and definitely more executive decisions to make. 
You suppose it’s why his questions don’t stop, even after he’s cleaned up and you both find yourselves in the backseat of the car and on the way to the office. He looks through the iPad with all the files you gave him, and you see the notes he’s made on them as you turn to him to answer his queries. Even if you know that he’s also still assessing you - perhaps on your knowledge and attention to detail - you can’t help but admire his thoroughness. You may have also cursed him in frustration for making you work on a Sunday, but he seems to have done way more than you, given that he went through all the documents over the weekend. You suddenly don’t feel too annoyed. 
But of course, he has to ruin it again.
“I need these annotated versions of the project and departmental documents ready before my meetings with the respective teams,” Jungkook says, his voice low and stern. “And I expect progress reports to be as detailed as possible, so make sure to check them first before they get to me. The ones you gave need revisions. I believe you’re trained enough to know immediately that these are lacking.”
“Yes, sir,” you respond, noting his instructions on your notebook while internally yelling, given that you’re unsure of the need for them before the meetings. 
Surely, he could give you some time to work on them, but with a meeting with one team in the afternoon and seven more the rest of the week, and on top of the other things you need to do for him, you already know you’ll be cramming to get everything done. 
You try to manage your breathing. Somehow, your habit of pressing your nails against your palm when you're stressed has miraculously come back today. It was something you developed while working under Mrs. Byun, which you eventually got over after working for Hoseok. You feel the anxiety build up, especially as you look at the half crescent marks on your skin, and it’s times like this that you wish your best friends were based in Seoul instead of Busan, so you’d at least have people to comfort you when things are a little tough. 
It’s not to say that work wasn’t overwhelming before. It definitely was, but Hoseok always found a way to make everything bearable and he was always reasonable with what he demanded of you. Now you’re stuck with a man who already makes you feel like your hard work isn’t enough. 
You make it to the office with no other words said and a thick tension in the air. It follows you to the elevator and into Jungkook’s room, where he dismisses you so he can prepare for the first meeting of the day. You rush to your desk and get on with your tasks, making sure to work on the annotated project file that he needs by the afternoon. 
It’s an hour later when you find yourself in the conference room for the meeting with the management support team. You prepped them just 10 minutes earlier, and while you tried to hide your frustration, your unusual lack of energy told them enough that it wasn’t exactly a good start of the day. 
They come in one by one, and you take the time to prepare Jungkook’s coffee, remembering from his former assistant’s notes how he wants it. He’d put it off earlier, given that he prefers to drink his protein shake after his workout, so this is the first time you’re doing it for him.
His eyes flit from the coffee in front of him to you as you place it on the table.
“Two espresso shots and half teaspoon each of milk and sugar,” you state, wanting to confirm that you got it right.
He merely takes a sip, places it down again, and then starts the meeting. 
How bold of you to assume that he’d thank you or even acknowledge it, as if he’d shown you even the tiniest amount of gratitude for anything you've done for him since Friday. Which he hasn’t. 
You let it go and proceed to sit next to him, your eyes and ears ready for what you already predict is gonna be a long meeting. 
It ends over three hours later. As you expected, he had a lot of questions. He made sure that each member had time to explain their current tasks and how they will monitor the projects assigned to them. You didn’t miss the way he’d acknowledged them with “good” and “well done,” and thanked them after they finished. He only nodded at you after your turn, with his eyes barely meeting yours, and for all the confidence you built over the past three years, you can’t process how it’s his non-acknowledgment that’s just going to undo all that. And quite frankly, you’re unsure if that’s on him or if that’s on you. 
Half of the meeting was spent discussing the big project that he wants to take on as Vice President. There’s a property they recently acquired - a non-operational arts center that he wants to revive by adding a performance hall, small theaters, a grand library, function rooms, and a permanent exhibition presenting the buildings that his family had developed over the years to showcase their architectural designs. 
You saw the excitement in your team members’ faces. Hoseok took over with several unfinished projects so you all had to focus on those. Aside from Manager Lee, this is the first time that you’re all handling something new and different. Even you felt the excitement creep in, a welcome emotion given how your day’s been going, but that shattered once he said that he wants it done by June of next year in time for an International Media Festival happening in August. The 12-month period he’s giving is too short with everything he wants to do, and you saw that the team felt the same. 
You go to them after Jungkook leaves for a lunch meeting, and their sighs and pouty faces tell you enough. Mr. Lee does his job of encouraging the team, and you add that you’re all gonna be supporting each other through it all. Sure, you’d have to match Jungkook’s ambition and thoroughness, but you should all take it as a challenge. 
You’re clearly not convinced yourself as the words come out of your mouth, but you don’t have time to debrief with them, as you still have that meeting with the design department that you have to prepare for. You take two biscuits and a cup of tea, and you decide that this is enough to last you throughout lunch, given that you’ll be spending the entirety of it working on the files. 
You don’t realize that an hour and a half have passed until you hear footsteps and see Jungkook’s form appear in the hallway. You stand to greet him, with him asking if you’re done with the annotated documents. 
“I’ll send it in five minutes, sir,” you say, hoping he’ll at least give you that. 
“Okay,” he responds. “Come to my office after you’ve sent it.”
“Yes, sir,” you say, quickly finishing the last two pages once he closes the door. 
You rush to get everything done and click send, then you head to his office and prepare yourself for more questions. It’s quiet inside as you watch him behind the desk, with his legs crossed and his eyebrows furrowed as he reads the document. You answer one of his questions and it’s at that moment when your very empty stomach decides to make itself known.
You freeze on your spot, as the grumbling sound starts low, getting louder for a few beats before it temporarily stops. Your eyes widen in embarrassment, and you press your belly so hard with your fingers in hopes that that would do anything, even if you’re too far gone at this point. Your only hope is that it was all in your head, but Jungkook’s eyes flitting to you tells you otherwise. The only other sound in his room is the air purifier, but it’s not remotely loud enough to drown out your intense hunger. 
It goes again, and all you can do is look away; humiliating yourself was definitely not the plan for your first day as Jeon Jungkook’s assistant.
“Do you need to step away, Ms. Cho?” He asks, not meeting your eyes. 
“Oh, it’s not… uh,” a bowel emergency or something, you want to say. “I just had a busy lunch break.” 
You settle for that, a hint that you’d spent its entirety doing something in such a short notice. Hoseok would always be apologetic whenever he had you do something during your break; he always made up for it with a nice meal as thanks. You doubt you’d get anything close to that from this man.
Jungkook hums and surprisingly doesn’t ask for anything else. He dismisses you and orders you to go ahead and prepare the conference room for the next meeting, and you do just that, dropping by the pantry for a muffin that you eat in four bites, in hopes that it would be enough to shut your stomach for the next three hours. 
Right as you exit, Jungkook picks up his phone to make a call. And then another one.
“Mr. Ri, please pick up the pastries that Ms. Cho ordered at the food hall,” he instructs his chauffeur. “She’s too busy right now.”
“Will do, Mr. Jeon.”
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Taking minutes of a meeting when you’re starving is not a good thing. You know this because you’ve done this so many times, like during monthly executive meetings and the quarterly board meetings that have you spread out thin. It’s also not rare to miss out on lunch because there’s a report to finish or a site to visit; during events, you go on a day with having barely eaten anything. 
But just because you’re used to it, it doesn’t mean that your body has fully adapted, because here you are, eyeing the croissants in front of you, your mouth watering at the gloss and softness of the pastry. They’re so tempting and also out of reach, given that you need to be entirely focused on the discussion that you’re documenting, and munching on something is out of the question. You don’t even know where this is from and you think maybe the design department called for snacks but it’s really not helping your concentration.
You hope the way you’re nibbling your lips doesn’t give you away, but Yoongi from across the table picks it up, as you get a notification of his message.
[From: Min Yoongi] you didn’t have lunch, did you? 
You ignore the prompt on your laptop and respond to him with a look instead. You know your pouty lips will give him his answer, and he merely shakes his head at the confirmation. 
You do your best to shut out the sight and scent of the food before you, absorbing instead the discussion so you can note this down properly with just minimal edits needed. You have a lot of documents to work on for the next few days after all, and that’s on top of the file reorganization that Jungkook asked you to do. 
It works after you hang on by a thread for two and a half hours, a little earlier than you expected to finish. All you want is to sneak out that croissant and maybe some tarts, too, but your heart breaks when you look up and find the boxes empty. 
You let out a sigh, relieved that your boss didn’t hear you because he’s already on the phone and heading out the door. But it’s that same time that a plate of food appears in front of you, and it feels like the gates of heaven have opened. You’re not surprised anymore to find out who it’s from.
“Eat,” Yoongi says from next to you. “I could see your hands shaking from across the table.”
“What about you?” You ask, your lips in a pout once more. 
“You know I don’t eat these things,” he shrugs.
He doesn’t, and you know this, too. You also know he called dibs on these earlier, seeing as his staff were quick to get them, and he’d saved these so he could give them to you. 
“Ten years later and you’re still trying to make sure I eat, huh?” You say, nudging him with your hips to tease.
“If I don’t, who would?” He responds, walking out of the conference room with you. “You have a bad habit of not doing that.”
“Well, duty calls. What can I do?” 
“Take care of yourself even if it’s hard,” he replies. 
“Says the man who rarely does it himself,” you chuckle. 
“You know, the best advice I give are the ones I don’t actually follow, so disregard the fact that I don’t even do what I say because they apparently work,” he says. “But I mean it, ___. Eat this now.”
“Thanks, Yoongi,” you smile, taking a piece of pastry and eating it in two bites. 
Your puffed out cheeks cause him to laugh, and despite still being hungry after this, you suppose it’s enough to not make you faint at this moment. 
“And eat a proper dinner, okay?” He follows up.
“I’ll be off late, so I’ll just grab something from the convenience store,” you say. “That’s as proper as I can afford tonight.”
“Aish, fine,” he shakes his head. “But let me get you coffee at least. Those tarts won’t taste as good without one.”
“That would be life-saving,” you dramatically say. “What did I do to deserve a friend like you?”
“Don’t know. I mean, I’m not that great,” he shrugs. 
You playfully roll your eyes. “I’ll save the compliments once I have the coffee.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he feigns annoyance, gesturing for you to get back to your desk then walking the other direction. 
You take your seat and clean up the document, deciding that you’ll just review the meeting minutes tomorrow so you can get on with other pressing matters. It’s 20 minutes later when Yoongi returns, a tall cup of coffee on one hand and a banana loaf on the other.
“This is all they have left,” he says. “I hope it can last you until tonight.”
“It will,” you smile. “Thank you again. No one looks out for me here as much as you do. And that means a lot, more than you know. I don’t think I would’ve survived all these years without you.”
“Wow, all because of coffee and snacks,” he laughs, teasing. 
“It’s a fair trade. You feed me during my greatest need, I boost your ego,” you tease back. 
“Yeah, whatever,” Yoongi huffs in submission, but you know he enjoys it. 
You’re thankful that after everything that’s happened, you’re still able to maintain the friendship that you created when you were a mere intern and he was just starting out his career. 
“Anyway, I’m quickly meeting Jungkook and I need the portfolio of the contemporary arts institution joint project from 2019. It was VP-led so I assume it’s still here? Unless it’s in the archive room,” he continues.
“It’s within five years so it should be here,” you say, turning to the shelf behind you to confirm. 
You spot what you need and make the attempt to pull it out but your fingers barely even touch the rack.
“Need help?” Yoongi asks.
“And what help could you give, huh?” You tease again, earning you a playful groan.
“You brat.”
You laugh and pull out the small stool you keep for times like this. 
“Just make sure I don’t fall and embarrass myself further today,” you say, climbing up the steps then pulling out the heavy folder. 
You feel Yoongi’s arm move from where it was near your waist to over your head, as he lightens the load. You both try to balance it and laugh at your distorted faces in the process, and it’s moments of relief like this one that you’re glad you’re afforded after a long day like today. 
From inside the room, Jungkook sees you through the window, your eyes crinkling as you laugh along with Yoongi, head of the design department and one of his very few friends in the company. It catches him off guard, as he realizes that since meeting you last Friday, he’s never seen you laugh, much less smile or even have an expression that isn’t agitated or serious.
He knows that that’s probably on him. He’d spoken ill of you after all, something he regretted once he saw the frustration on your face when you made it known that you were in the room with them and had definitely heard everything he said. But he’d been tired and HR confirmed that he could bring Lucas over as his assistant; CEO Jeon was the one who vetoed that decision. 
Jungkook had already mentally prepared himself for the ease of his transition, knowing that he’d be assisted by someone who knows how he works and the quality of outputs he expects, only to come here and be told by his father that the current staff will stay, and that you - someone he’d only heard of as Hoseok’s assistant - will be the one assisting him from now on. Your resume didn’t even impress him.
Jungkook doesn’t like change and when he has to undergo it, he needs as much of what was familiar and convenient to remain; that’s the only bit of control he can have and he hates not being in control of things. You just happened to unluckily be at the receiving end of his anger.
But unlike what he expected, you stood up to him in the subtle ways you could. He’s been so used to people just following him, partly because his way is always the best but also because he commands that respect, and he knows his capabilities enough to know that he deserves it as well. So when you answered back, he felt rattled and just a little bit uneasy. He was unable to backtrack after, but he didn’t really plan to.
That doesn’t mean that he didn’t plan on being a bit of a jerk today, too. He’d been exhausted working over the weekend after going through all the files you gave him that he snoozed his alarm so many times and ended up doing his workout later than he intended. When you rang the doorbell and stood by his door with your skirt and satin top, he suddenly felt lightheaded.
He mentally smacked himself once the thought that your pastel colored outfit brought out your eyes more than the monochrome ensemble from last week floated in his head. He just hated that not only are you thorough with your work, you have to be beautiful, too. He’d never admit to anyone that both of those things make him nervous, and it’s the only reason why he thinks he needs to establish his authority so that he doesn’t get rattled the next time you counter him.
That’s why he demanded more work, which he didn’t intend to take up so much of your time, like your lunch break. He’d seen how your hands shook while you were taking notes during the meeting, prompting him to end the meeting early so you can have something to eat of what he’d bought but he’d left before he could find out if there was anything left for you. 
Maybe there wasn’t enough, as he also witnessed Yoongi hand you what seemed like food with coffee that the man also got for you just minutes ago. The smile you gave him was bright and sincere. Jungkook doesn’t think he’d ever see that directed at him, considering how he’d been to you on his first day, but maybe that’s also good; that could be his defense. Maybe it’d help quell that initial attraction that he doesn’t want and cannot allow at all to grow.
It doesn’t mean it doesn’t agitate him to see you a bit too close with his friend, because with the way you seem so comfortable and with the way that Yoongi sports that rare smile, it almost feels like there’s something there.
Jungkook is the son of the CEO, and having personal relationships within the company isn’t exactly advisable, but he’d gone to university with Yoongi and their introverted personalities instantly clicked. The older man is perhaps the only non-relative company employee that Jungkook kept in touch with when he was in Singapore, not that he even really talked much to his family outside of work anyway.
But in all the years of their friendship, his friend never mentioned any relationship - nor the makings of one - with another staff member. Jungkook hates how his curiosity is slowly getting to him. Maybe a few more moments would tell him more, but something about the scene happening outside his room is making him nervous and uneasy, so he decides to step in.
“Hey, Yoon,” he says as he opens the door. “Can we discuss now? I have to meet my parents for dinner in an hour.”
Your bubble with Yoongi bursts at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, and you immediately return to your seat. Your friend nods at you then enters the room, leaving you the peace and quiet you need to plop down on the floor for a quick snack of your loaf before going back to work, glancing inside every once in a while to see how the two are going, and perhaps confirm the friendship that you didn’t expect the two would have.
“This building is a good starting point,” Yoongi agrees with Jungkook. “If this is the general feel you want for the Arts Center, I can look into other projects and designs and come up with ideas. I’ll just ask ___ for the files I need.”
“You two seem close,” Jungkook says too quickly. 
Leaning back against the chair, Yoongi processes the question that he didn’t expect he’d hear. More than that, he tries to read what’s underneath it, knowing that his friend’s tone of voice and feigned stoic expression mean something more.
“You could say that,” Yoongi replies. “She did say that no one’s looked out for her here as much as I have. And that she wouldn’t have survived all these years without me.”
“So you’re actually friends?”
“Yes.”
“Were you more?”
Yoongi chuckles, the question giving him the answer he’s looking for. Jungkook may often be too serious but he can be transparent sometimes, too.
“Does it matter?” The older man asks.
“Just don’t want to be surprised, that’s all,” Jungkook shrugs. “If there’s an employee relationship happening under my nose, I should at least know.”
“It happens here a lot,” Yoongi responds. “I mean, it gives people something to gossip about but it’s how things are - work sucks sometimes and we want someone to hold at the end of a terrible day.”
Feeling like he won’t get an answer to a question that Jungkook doesn’t know why he felt the need to ask in the first place, he just shakes his head to concede. 
But it’s what prompts Yoongi to reply. 
“We met when she was just an intern,” he says. “We used to take the same bus then found out we both came from Daegu. Then she was employed and we were both on the logistics team before I was reassigned and she got the EA role.”
Jungkook merely hums, taking in the information.
“I also asked her out before,” Yoongi continues, earning him a surprised look from the younger man. “You just can’t help what you feel sometimes, you know?  But she turned me down, said she didn’t want to lead me on because she didn’t feel anything more. She also doesn’t like being involved with a co-worker, so yeah.”
“How are you still friends?”
“Asks the guy who’s still friends with his ex,” Yoongi laughs.
“Chaerin and I are civil, there’s a difference. And we haven’t spoken in years.”
“You loved her, though,” Yoongi counters. “I never got to that point.”
“This isn’t about me,” Jungkook huffs. 
Knowing it’s a topic that his friend doesn’t like talking about, Yoongi relents. “I moved on. That was years ago,” he says. “And it seemed like she needed someone. I mean, she’s not from here and her friends aren’t here, either. She appreciated the friendship even if she said she didn’t think she deserved it. I guess that made me really get over her, you know? That’s all she wanted and needed from me; it was better than not having her around.”
“How brave,” Jungkook remarks. 
“You mean mature?” Yoongi corrects. “Yes, that’s what I am, and it’s the best I could be for her. Especially since she’s got a boss who makes her miss lunch because somehow, there’s just so much to do for your first day on the job.”
“Don’t remind me,” Jungkook groans. 
“I will. Only so you could feel bad.”
“I already do. That’s why I…”
“Bought the pastries,” Yoongi finishes. “I mean, I didn’t order them.”
“Was any even left for her?” Jungkook sighs, remembering how he was internally screaming for you to just get from the box and he’d been the jerk to not offer you some even if it was technically for you.
“Sort of. I put some aside for myself so I could give them to her.”
“You sure you don’t like her anymore?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, an attempt to hide his uneasiness over something he doesn’t understand. He finds you attractive, that’s it. He doesn’t know why his mind searches for more answers.
“You don’t have to like someone romantically to be nice to them, you know?” Yoongi responds. “And she needed it. Heavens know the support she’d need now that she has to deal with your rude ass.”
Jungkook sighs, but the remark is a welcome one because he did tell Yoongi not to treat him differently just because he’s the Vice President now. He also partly agrees. But he sees the effort; his friend wouldn’t call him out for how he does things, so the most he would do is offer help to you. And Jungkook could maybe take advantage of that, as Yoongi stands up to leave.
“Hey, could you, uh, grab dinner for her at the food hall? And not say it’s from me?”
“The food hall’s closed,” Yoongi says.
“The cafe down the street, then?”
“You can’t be fucking serious,” the older man groans. 
But Yoongi knows his friend, knows the distance he creates from the people around him, knows his need to have control over everything, including his feelings, and knows the walls he builds because it’s easier to keep others out rather than do the hard task of letting them into a space that’s become comfortable because he’s been the only one inside for so long.
So Yoongi does as he’s asked. He takes the money then heads to the cafe to order pork cutlets and curry. He returns and sets them on your desk to your surprise, and you ask what it’s for.
“Just thought you deserve more than just convenience store instant noodles and gimbap given the day you’ve had,” he says. 
“Hey, those are delicious,” you pout, but wanting to melt at how good the rice bowl smells. “But thank you, again. I owe you a lot, Yoongi. I mean it.”
“Just make sure to eat on time so I don’t have to buy your dinner again,” he teases. “I mean it. You have to stay healthy, okay?”
“Okay,” you smile brightly. “Get home safe tonight.”
Jungkook glances out the window and holds back a smile himself at how innocent and genuinely happy you look. There’s this joy that you seem to enjoy to yourself and he sees that, he understands that. And somehow that’s enough to lessen the guilt for now. 
He still doesn’t know if he’ll ever see that smile directed at him or if he’d ever want that because of how disarming it is. But seeing it from afar is enough; it’s trivial and short enough to let him bask in it without having to climb out of his walls. He’ll watch you from behind, he thinks. He just wishes he doesn’t push you away in the process.
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rene-spade · 26 days
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Ok but how are the crazy f1 dads with their daughters dating? Who on the grid do they like?
oof this is a loaded ask bc they really are all out of it 😭 they just love their babies fr
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dad! kimi | growing up räikkönen!
FIRST OF ALL kimi doesn’t really vibe with most people in general, let alone anyone who’s trying to get with his little lumienkeli. kimi was lucky to raise a little girl similar to him, who listens when he places a no dating rule lasting until she’s 21 (as far as he knows anyways). despises the guys on the grid trying to get with her; he was one of them once so he thinks of them as animals, especially leclerc who’s known for his brow-raising dating life. also hates pierre but he already didn’t fw him bc he’s french. he is SLIGHTLY more easy going with women around his daughter so any grid guys with girlfriends might have an advantage. he finds that he wants the im-a-dog-and-ill-do-whatever-my-girl-says type for his daughter, but he dislikes unintelligence. he does not like anyone on the grid, but he best tolerates:
mick schumacher!
oscar piastri (+lily)
he vibes with kika okay but hates pierre 💀
bonus! he actually really likes max but his hate/distrust for jos overpowers that so he’s not letting that happen
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! jenson | growing up button!
OK SO JENSON is a bit less intense than kimi, however he is much more publicly affectionate with his daughter which means that he has definitely gone on public rants about how no man is good wen enough for his baby. that being said, he is a decent judge of character so he doesn’t hate anyone on the grid. but he gets real serious when he notices people hitting on his baby. this is mostly bc he was def a whore when he was younger so he isn’t quick to trust guys who are living the same lifestyle he was. he kind of turns on dad-mode when he notices anyone eyeing her up. but alas, he raised his own mini-me, who attracts just about everyone, and who likes to flirt back. it takes warming up to, but he can see himself fine with most of the drivers. he most prefers people who are friendly and who didn’t act like him when he was in f1 like:
george russel
daniel ricciardo
lando norris
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! fernando | growing up alonso!
NANDO IS DEFINITELY one of those guys who thinks he’s a “cool dad” bc he’s a young father and his daughter is his best friend. but in reality he’s one of those intense, fiercely overprotective dads who have impossibly high expectations for his daughters partner. 100% the type to punch a mechanic for saying gross things about his princesa. he’ll be calm and in a good mood then someone on the grid (or any man ever) mentions his daughter and he’s like 😐. UNLESS! it’s carlos. carlos is the only one who meets his standards, sorry to literally everyone else. but even with carlos, he can be a little stern just to get his point across about not messing with his only child. he just feels the need to personally approve of his daughter’s partner bc he’s hyper-paranoid about someone hurting her. his list looks something like:
carlos sainz!!!
that’s it
i mean if you put a gun to his head maybe max bc he’s a winner but he needs to learn to speak spanish so-
♤ ♤ ♤
dad! jos | growing up verstappen! unfortunately
FUCK JOS VERSTAPPEN obviously, however this man is one crazy dad who we have to discuss. his love for his youngest daughter is wild and unpredictable, and it’s very different from the way he treats his other children. his baby has some extreme one-sided beef with him that he’s smart enough to know about, so he isn’t too forceful about bonding, it’s definitely more desperate since max found success in f1 and she sticks with her big brother now. her entire life, he’s never allowed her to date, and when he found out about her first secret bf, he got arrested for trying to kill the kid so. he has IMPOSSIBLY high standards for his daughters partner and definitely wants her to marry within the f1 community, but he hates losers and despises half the grid.
suddenly he’s charles leclerc’s biggest fan !
lewis hamilton but he’ll never admit it
MAYBE carlos sainz
bonus! max obvi likes daniel ricciardo best but jos doesn’t fw him like that
♤ ♤ ♤
Ren
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themuse-if · 4 months
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DEMO (TBA) | Cast Profiles | Cast Interviews
The Muse is a 18+ slice of life interactive fiction novel set at NYU focusing mostly on the art departments in the Steinhardt and Tisch schools. Inspired by my love for shows and movies like Felicity, Fame (the show), Skins UK, and Center Stage. This will not be an accurate depiction of school life at NYU, I'll be taking lots of creative liberties.
Content Warnings: explicit language, sexual themes, substance use, violence, mention of SA
You come from a family of artists and art lovers. Your mother is a passionate curator for a small gallery in the city and your father is a sculptor and painter with a very dedicated cult following. They met when they were just starting out and have built a lovely life for themselves and their two children, you and your older brother Cameron.
Your parents have always been super supportive of you and your brother’s dreams and ambitions. They were a great source of encouragement and guidance for your brother on his path to discovering his goal to become a game designer and you on your path to become whatever you choose.
Growing up surrounded by such creativity just so happened to inspired you to want to create something of your own.
Now that you’ve graduated high school it’s time for you to head off to university! You’ve decided to leave the mid sized city that you call your hometown, and go to the big city NYC! You’ll be attending NYU more specifically, but you won’t be making this move alone you’ll be attending with your best friend Maxine!
What will you discover in your university life?
Will you solely focus on schoolwork or wind up in the raging party scene?
Will you explore new creative endeavors or solely focus on honing your craft?
With so much going on will you even have the time to possibly find your muse, or maybe even become someone else’s?
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Design your mc from clothing style to physical appearance to pronouns, gender identity, name, looks, and more.
Choose 1 of 9 majors that grant you different classes with new students and professors: (Studio Arts, Dance, Drama, Photography and Imaging, Jazz Studies, Songwriting, Recorded Music, Collaborative Arts, Dramatic Writing )
Curate your MCs personality and how they react to all the drama and excitement university life has to offer. Style your MC’s dorm room and their aesthetic style.
Navigate the cliques and scenes to figure out where your MC fits in. Maybe you're a social butterfly and you just float from one social group to another!
Engage in a romance with 1 of 10 characters. 5 female/male gender selectable and 5 gender set characters. And 2 poly routes one with The Rebel Rejects and on with The Exes.
Choose one of three part time jobs to give you a little extra spending money for things like spring break and birthday gifts for your new friends.
Follow The Muse through your MC’s freshman and sophomore years. Junior and senior year will come much later in Book Two of The Muse. The third and final book in The Muse series will cover the start of MC's new life after graduation.
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Roxanne/Robbie Sawyer: (f/m) The lead singer and guitarist of The Rebel Rejects. Ro is everything you would want in a lead singer cool, charismatic, and super talented. Don’t let their dazzling aura intimidate you though because though they may have a raging wild side they can also be extremely down to earth.
Joleen/Johnny Nielsen: (f/m) The drummer of The Rebel Rejects. Jo is the oddball of the band with a sunny exterior and twisted flower child past. They may be a sweet boho bimbo with a heart of gold, but there’s a lot more that lies behind those blue green eyes.
Delphine/Desmond Hartley: (f/m) The bassist for The Rebel Rejects. De is the super glue propelling the group forward. With high expectations from her parent, and dreams that soar even higher, success is the only option.
Rina/Ren Fukushi: (f/m) R is the best ballet dancer in this incoming freshman class, and no one would ever think to say otherwise. They’re cold and closed off, if it isn’t about ballet then they don’t want to hear it.
Everly/Everett Thompson: (f/m) Eve is a triple threat. Singing, dancing, acting they can do it all. They hope to complete their EGOT before they turn 40.
Karla Reyes: (she/her) Karla is a sophomore at NYU studying Studio Arts. Their favorite medium is watercolor on canvas. They’ve dabbled with sculpting and ceramics...until they broke up with their ex, Faye, and can’t stand to be in the same studio with them.
Faye Winters: (she/they) Fae is every bit the ethereal being they seem to be, and just as flighty. She is a sophomore majoring in dance with a minor in studio arts. She has this effortless charm and beauty that extends to her art whether its her dancing or her sculptures.
Sebastien Auclair: (he/him) Sebastien is in his third year of university, he’s an exchange student from the Paris College of Art. He is studying photography and imaging. Sebastian loves Paris, but he is excited for this change of scenery.
Maxine Matthews: (she/her)Max is your best friend in the world! Your parents are friends so you were destined to best pals since birth, thank god you actually like each other or all those shared family functions would have been really awkward. Max is funny and always has great commentary for every show or movie that you watch together. Which is why you weren’t surprised when they decided to major in dramatic writing. Some people think that you’re too close. They wonder how is it possible that you could be just friends.
Silas Walker: (he/him) Silas is your RA. As your Resident Advisor he's super helpful and friendly. You have question about the best study spots, bad professors, how to use the subway, well he's got answers. He keeps all his advisees at arms length because everyone knows RAs can't canoodle with their advisees. And that just makes it all the more enticing.
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nellasbookplanet · 4 months
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Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1
There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.
A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.
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Previous book rec posts:
Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences
For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!
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The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*
Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.
A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers
Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.
Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*
Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.
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The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon
In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.
The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart
January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.
A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares
Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.
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Bridge by Lauren Beukes
When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.
The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers
Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.
An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.
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Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*
Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.
The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin
1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.
Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*
Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.
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The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley
This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.
The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*
Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.
Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden
While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.
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The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*
The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.
Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi
Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.
Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*
Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).
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A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine
Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.
The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*
AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.
Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*
After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.
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Remnant by Kate Genet
One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?
The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*
Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.
Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao
Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.
Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:
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Survival Instincts by May Dawney
Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?
These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs
When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.
Everfair by Nisi Shawl
A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.
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k9catastrophe · 25 days
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A BIG list of entirely free games therians and alterhumans can get !!! This isn't like an ad for them or anything, but when i was younger i never really had games that fit my theriotypes :( so why not start now!! this is in no real order.
These are all games where you play AS the animal, most of them being semirealistic? They're all free, so they aren't super realistic sorry!!! These are all also games i find on my tablet, so im not sure if they're available on pc!!
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Wildcraft: As of today, Wildcraft updates every once and awhile, usually for the Wildpass thing they do almost weekly[? i took a large break from this game, forgive me if im misremembering.] Wildcraft was made by Turbo Rocket Games in early 2018. The multiplayer servers arent as active as they used to be, but it's still fun to play with friends sometimes!! I usually play in singleplayer though!! (Also, there is a settings option to make it first person, and one to hide the buttons!)
Playable Animals: Right now there are 12 land animals: Wolf [Default], Fox [Common], Lynx, Bear, Lion [Rares], Cheetah, Horse, Eagle, Crocodile, Tiger, Gorilla, and Kangaroo! [Ledgendaries], all of which are obtainable through the chests!! There are also 9 transformations [which are more difficult to get !!]: Raccoon, Deer, Hippo, Giraffe, Gazelle, Hyena, Rhino, Parrot, and Snake! There are also 5 Sea creatures: Dolphin [default], Stingray [Rare], Shark, Seal, and Sea turtle! You can have up to eight family members for every animal, who are also customizable! [not including transformations]
Customizability: There are TONS of skins and accessories for every animal, and you can adjust the size of their body parts, making your character entirely customizable! There are also LOTS of pets!
I give it a solid 10/10!! I've loved this game since it came out!! Me and my brother @whisperrdrrop [hii] played it like the year it came out!! I highly recommend playing this one ! >w< The community also has tons of fun creepypastas, and though the only real one is 'Niddhogg,' it's super fun to just learn about them!
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Wolf Tales (Home & Heart (IT MIGHT BE 'WILD ANIMAL SIM' NOW IDK)): (The icon may have changed, my ipad doesn't update icons very much!!!) As of Today, Wolf Tales has basically stopped updating from what i can see. However this doesn't take away from the fun of it!! The game was created around 2020 by Foxie Ventures. Servers are multiplayer by default, but there is a singleplayer option!
Playable Animals: There are currently only 5 animals: Wolf, Fox, Bear, Wild/Big cat, and Dragon! All are unlocked by playing through the quests, though you can use moonstones (ingame 'rare' currency) to auto-buy most of them! Your families/packs are grown through opening chests and breeding!
Customizability: There are quite a few skins for every animal, ranging in rarity. you can obtain skins through buying the 'summoning' of the animal you'd like with moonstones and getting a random skin, or buying one directly. Skins are also not changeable! Let's say you're a grey wolf, and you get the sand wolf skin. You would have to enter your den and find that skin, and switch into that one, meaning it could have a different level! There are also LOTS of pets, though i do not remember how to get them. The only way to change your character is through changing limb sizes, there are no accessories!!
I give it a nice little 9/10, as much as i love this game i don't play it too often, but it really is fun! I think i got this game when it came out, and it was really fun watching the game and the community grow and change!! When i joined, not every player had a jump button, and there was this cool feature called 'Clans' (replaced by the player clans, sadly :() where there were 5 packs that you had to either defeat the alpha of or become besties with, and you'd get a packmate of any rarity from them daily!! My bestie pack was called 'the moonrise pack' and the #1 public enemy was 'The tooth pack' or something. I definitely recommend it :3!!
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Ultimate Wolf/Fox/Forest/Savanna/Dinosaur/Cat/Shark/Bird/Jungle Simulator: they made a LOT of these games. These are only the ones that are free on my tablet, but im also seeing 'ocean,' 'dog,' 'arctic,' and 'lion' simulators for a dollar, you'd have to check and see if those are free. I'm mostly focusing on the WOLF simulator here, because i do NOT want to download all of those games. There is no multiplayer option for any of them. All made by gluten free games, no idea the release dates.
Playable Animals: The animals depend on which game you get. I know forest has bears, Savanna has cheetahs, Dinosaur has T-rex, triceratops, and ankylosaurus, bird has parrots and eagles, and jungle has tigers, but these are definitely not every animal !!
Customizability: you unlock a skin for every few levels, and you can tint them, but that's about it. For every game. There's like... 8-15 for most?
I give it a 7/10. As much as i do really, really love this game and all the memories playing it, it's really not the most entertaining game out there. If you're really bored and have nothing to do, sure, go wild with it!!
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Dog Sim: I just got this game and it's so silly !! Made by Turbo Rocket Games in 2016, the multiplayer servers are surprisingly still decently active! Obviously it doesn't update anymore.
Playable Animals: The only animals in these are: (you guessed it) dogs. There's a single skin that... might? be a wolf, and there's two robo dog skins. There's a total of 38 skins!
Customizability: The only thing you can customize is your breed, sorry!
Other than that, theres a LOT to play with! With 5 bosses, 25 enemy/prey creatures, 1 map, 1 den, a max level of 200, a maximum family size of 4, 20 achievements, and 30 quests, there's plenty to do!
I give it a nice 8/10, the only points taken being because the game itself isnt the highest quality, and the models arent all 10/10, but it's still a really silly game! I do recommend it :)
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Cat simulator - animal life: created in 2019 by Pocket Games entertainment, i think this one is pretty cute! With active multiplayer servers!!
Playable Animals: Just kitties! silly little kitties on big adventures!!
Customizability: Lots of cute skins and accessories!!!
There are tons of quests, camp upgrades, and more included in this!!
I didn't play this one for too long, but there are some pvp servers aswell. Overall really cute game, not too buggy/laggy! 10/10 :3
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Wild Cougar Sim (3D): Another game made by Turbo Rocket games before their big success that was Wildcraft, Cougar Sim was created in 2015 (I think? I'm only finding the youtube trailer, dont be afraid to correct me.) I'm not seeing an option for multiplayer unfortunately :(!
Playable Animals: Yeah, It's just Cougars! What did you expect?
Customizability: With eight skins (Must be purchased with ingame currency), 9 coat marking options (Almost like tattoos!) including a Shark, Wolf, Lizard, Scorpion, Butterfly and Bird (Phoenix?), and options to change body/limb sizes, there's actually really good customization here!
With 3 unlockable family members, 30 quests, 20 achievements, 18 enemy/prey creatures, 4 biomes, and 8 dens, there is plenty to keep yourself busy with here! That accompanied by the fact that this isn't even a bad looking game, i honestly give it a nice 10/10! Very cute game, not much lag, pretty good in terms of realism, it's pretty cool!! :)
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Dragon Sim Online: Yet another game made by Turbo Rocket in 2016, i quite like this one! With semi-active multiplayer servers!!
Playable Animals: Quite a few different types of Dragons, varying in element, colour, and breeds!
Customizability: With 4 elements, 46 (VERY pretty) skins, and limb/body adjustment sliders, you can customize your dragon pretty well!
Similar to both Cougar Sim and Dog Sim, Dragon Sim has plenty to offer: 30 quests, 20 achievements, 27 enemy/prey creatures, 3 bosses, 6 islands and 4[?] dens, there's plenty there to keep you busy! another 10/10 from me :)
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this list is incomplete !! I'm still working on this, im just having trouble finding games !! If you find any free games like these, send me an ask with some info on it!!
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THE GERUDO POST
(aka an attempt at a critique of how gerudos were handled in BotW and before)
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Oh no. TOTK being right around the corner, it might finally be time for the Gerudo Post.
(aka half of the reason why I made a Zelda sideblog in the first place)
So I want to preface all of this by saying that, as you could probably tell already, I’ve always adored the gerudos. They have fascinated my small child brain when I was 7; then the obsession made its comeback when I was 14, and now, here we are, almost 28, and I’m still thinking about the gerudos. I think they might be among my favorite fictional cultures for their potential and their understated storyline. I guess growing up in a very Arabic neighborhood, coupled with being bi-culturally latinx (?? does Brazil count?? you tell me), also always made them feel like home to me –especially when I was very young and there was not a lot of cool female representation flying around that managed to involve fiercely independent PoC women, flaws and teeth included.
This whole weird-essay-thing tries to do two things. First: analyze the place gerudos have occupied in the series, their initial problematisms and their subtextual narrative arc during the Myth Era coupled with their relationship to Ganondorf. Second: tiptoe to Breath of the Wild and poke it with a stick to see what happens –and in doing that, explain why I believe a lot of their characterization was defanged in service of smoothing their past with the hylians instead of deepening the culture on its own terms, and why I’m a little apprehensive about what that might mean for TotK even though I adore seeing the best girls at it again.
Those are the uhh terms of service??
And now, we must go back to 1998.
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OCARINA OF TIME ERA
There’s so many things about the gerudos that are noteworthy and rich, and they’ve made for a complex piece of Zelda lore ever since their introduction –and when I say complex, I don’t 100% mean it as praise. The very racially charged decisions made about their inclusion have been discussed at length by the fandom, especially when it comes to orientalist and Islamophobic tropes being deployed pretty thoughtlessly in Ocarina of Time (their sigil being literally a crescent moon and star originally, the parallels are pretty obviously there).
We’re talking about a band of amazon-like, big-nosed brown women from the desert ruled by a single Scary Evil Man born once every hundred years hellbent on conquering Hyrule who they apparently worship like a god, characterized primarily as thieves, decked in jewelry and orientalist-inspired harem/belly-dancing clothing, hostile to the white good guys of Hyrule (especially men), unblessed by the Goddesses and so deprived of elongated ears (this is true for OoT –we’ll come back to that), also known as a demon tribe with their deity straight-out described as evil-looking by Navi (on my way to cancel you on twitter Navi you watch out), and secretly led by evil twin witches who can turn into a single seductress and, as two mothers, raised their Scary Evil Guy king who happens to basically be the devil.
In so few words, gerudos are the future that liberals want.
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It’s worth notice, also, that Ganondorf’s characterization in this game is… kind of relentlessly uncomfortable to play through, especially before the 7 year skip. The utter assumption of depraved and evil intents from every character surrounded by dialogue that does little to hide its biases in spite of having generally very little proof to back them up –even though, in the game’s context, every character is correct to call his eyes evil and the darkness of his skin a moral judgment in on itself. The scene where Zelda demands that we believe her conclusion that the sole and only brown guy in the entire kingdom is evil and will do harm, and the game straight out refuses to progress until we concede that her dreams are prophetic and that this man must be stopped at any cost even though she has no more proof than her discomfort… hits different on replay.
I’m restating all of this not to pretend I’m making a novel and thought-provoking point, but to bounce back on a tumblr post I saw a while back (that I can’t find anymore!! I’ll link it if I find it again) –and so express what it is that gripped me with the gerudos in spite of their pretty damning depiction… and actually maybe thanks to it.
There’s a surprising amount of texture to Ocarina of Time’s worldbuilding that exists folded within the things introduced and left hanging, or in its subtext –and whether on purpose or not, I believe it is why people keep coming back to this iteration of Hyrule.
What was that about the king of Hyrule unifying a war-torn country? Why did the gerudos break the bridge connecting them to the rest of the kingdom during the 7 year timeskip while still worshiping Ganondorf, and why are the carpenters trying to rebuild it against their apparent wishes? What was that about gerudos imprisoning hylian men trying to force entry into their lands? What was that about the secret death torture chambers right next to the Royal Family’s tomb and connected to the race of people who were, apparently, born to serve them?
Nothing? Oh okay… okay… okay….
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The same can be said about this strange depiction of this hostile tribe, consistently described as wicked yet suddenly friendly once you prove you deserve their respect once you... defeat them, so you now have joined them? Ocarina of Time isn’t very consistent when it comes to characterizing them as their occupation (thieves) or as a proper culture, with a king and a strange system of rulership that seem to involve at least 5 people: Ganondorf, the Twinrova, Nabooru and the unnamed random woman who decides you’re now part of the gerudos because you slashed enough of them with your sword and hookshot, which, uhh ok.
They’re but a ragtag and negligible group when discussed next to gorons and zoras and hylians, but they also clearly have their own religion and at least a 400-hundred years old history (probably far longer than this) and hints of a written language of their own. I’m not sure the game itself knows what it wants them to be, beyond: intimidating and hot and cool, but also wicked and, because of Ganondorf and the way you barge in their forbidden fortress (heh) with the explicit intent to dismantle their king, in apparent need to be saved from themselves.
Speaking of rulership and the Spirit Temple, let’s have a quick tangent about Nabooru: I always found her characterization when meeting with Child Link pretty strange. I refuse to mention the promised reward, which feeds into everything orientalist mentioned above, but I always found her moral compass so extremely convoluted for someone coming from gerudo culture. Nabooru says that, despite being a cool thief herself, she resents Ganondorf for killing people as well as stealing from women and children. Stealing... from women. Nabooru. Why are you this pressed that he steals from women!!! This feels so out of place, that the only girl of that hostile culture that betrays her king and befriends you, is the one that upholds moral values that only a hylian could possibly hold.
Either way: the strange unquestioned contempt of the game for them as a culture, mixed with the occasional bouts of heart, friendliness and badassery, makes it hard not to consider their depiction as pretty biased in favor of the hylians finding them at once exotic, scary and exciting, and could hide a more complex reality you might only get one side of –especially when you know there were originally plans for Ganondorf’s character to be more gray and motivated than what the campy final version ended up being. To be blunt: even in the context of a game for children, and maybe because of that fact, it all reads like a reductionist and imperialist/colonialist reading of a more complex situation.
This might seem like A Lot coming from a game where the actual game writing can be this overall flimsy and simplistic due to the standards of the time (it’s rough, it's so rough). But I would have never dwelt on that thought about a little children’s game if not for the mainline entries that came soon after, because... ooo boy.
The sense you’re not getting the whole story was certainly not helped by the introduction of Wind Waker Ganondorf, and the chilling emptiness of Gerudo Desert in Twilight Princess.
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AFTER THE TIMELINE SPLIT
(I’m skipping Majora’s Mask, not because I dislike them in the game or think they’re not worth talking about, but because it’s a parallel universe and they’re never even called gerudos and their reality seems extremely different from their sisters in Hyrule so I think it’s okay to call them tangential and not dive too deep in this particular depiction)
Here’s something I want to highlight about gerudos and how they were characterized before BotW came along: their absence. Not only their physical absence, the lack of any gerudo character that calls themselves gerudo, but their absence from the text itself.
It’s not that Wind Waker and Twilight Princess retroactively scratch them off existence: we can clearly see Nabooru’s stained glass art in WW as well as recognize them being mentioned in Ganondorf’s final boss soliloquy, and WELL there’s quite a lot to say about their imprint over the world of TP. They are there –or at least they... were there. But nobody ever talks about what happened.
In Wind Waker, there was the deluge. It’s assumed lots of people died then, and those who survived scattered across the Great Sea. Are they sealed under the waves? Have they drowned? Is Jolene, Linebeck’s ex-girlfriend in Phantom Hourglass, a distant relative of one of the rare survivors? It’s unclear, beyond the fact that Ganondorf is the only living gerudo we see in this entire branch of the Timeline split.
In Twilight Princess, the desert which bares their name is empty. The hylians never mention that it used to be the name of a tribe: they’re not even named when Ganondorf is introduced for the first time, reduced once again to a mere band of thieves. We learn his plans to steal the Triforce in OoT were foiled, and that he may have turned to war. Then he lost the war, and was executed in Arbiter’s Ground: a strange structure in the desert, a mixture between a temple, a prison and a coliseum. What looks like gerudo writing coexists with hylian symbols, which often look much fresher. This dungeon is the Shadow Temple of TP: a prison hosting the worst criminals the kingdom has ever known, now haunted and cursed. Besides the locations, the only character that vaguely look gerudo in the entire game besides Ganondorf is Telma, a character with pointed ears that never seems to identify as anything but a hylian. What happened? Who’s to say. Nobody ever says anything. Not even Ganondorf bothers to mention them the way he did in WW –and though the game’s story is quite focused on another exiled tribe seeking revenge and dominion over Hyrule as retribution, the parallel is never explicitly drawn. So who’s to say what happened there. Who’s to say.
And in A Link to the Past and the games forward? The only mention of other gerudo characters are Koume and Kotake, resurrecting their son in the Oracles games through their own sacrifice and failing to bring anything back but a monstrosity incapable of making conscious decisions. Granted, most games in that extremely weird Fallen Timeline predate OoT and therefore had yet to make gerudos up at all. Still: canonically, between the gap of OoT and ALLTP, whatever it may be, gerudos disappeared here as well.
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I think there’s something subtle and a little heartbreaking about the fact that no matter what Ganondorf does, the gerudos always end up dying out. His yearning for Hyrule, its gentler wind and the Triforce blessing its lands always costs him the kingdom that he does have already.
Now, does he care? A lot of people would argue that he doesn’t, that he used them like pawns for his own ambition and saw them as servants more-so than sisters, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Nintendo’s official opinion, but… One very powerful thing about most of Ganondorf’s incarnations (focusing on the human ones) is that he never seems to reject his cultural heritage. They could have gone for him wearing more kingly hylian stuff given the whole underlying theme of envy and pride surrounding his character, but never once does he try to look more hylian, beyond the ear situation that seems to be tied to the Triforce of Power? Either way: he is gerudo. Several of his outfits reference his mothers, as well as general gerudo patterning and jewelry. His heritage is something he proudly displays, even hundred of years in the future when there is no one left to remember what it means but him. I think it’s a very potent piece of characterization, an arc that crosses over multiple game and says something pretty intense about this character’s fate and his inherent destructiveness over the things he touches –starting with the Triforce, all the way up to his very own body and mind. His mental breakdown by the end of Wind Waker, when the king of Hyrule himself forces him to give up on the thing he sacrificed everything for, takes a new kind of weight with the whole picture taken into account.
(not to excuse genocide or general egomania-fueled madness and violence, but one thing doesn’t mean the other isn’t also relevant)
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Regardless of whether this is a tragedy for Ganondorf as their uhh complete failure of a king, honestly, it is undeniably a tragedy for the gerudos themselves: a once-in-a-lifetime joyful event turned into a never-ending nightmare from which there seems to be no escape, their legacy now condemned to fade to black, leaving nothing behind but a demon boar forever laying ruin upon the world.
One may say I’m taking on the bleakest explication for the gerudos’ absence when there could be others. It’s true! Perhaps the gerudos are just chilling off-screen, completely fine, not interested in whatever is happening in the kingdom nearby and their disaster child having yet another temper tantrum about not being the Goddesses’ favorite boy. It’s possible! But regardless, what little elements we do possess as players doesn’t seem to support this, even if it remains possible –and regardless of actual gerudo lives, gerudo culture is definitively a goner in every single timeline.
Even if they did survive... Hyrule still won its unification war.
(I won’t mention Skyward Sword as they are not really a thing there, except for a butterfly that seems to suggest the Gerudo Province was a thing before the gerudo people –I don’t know what to do with this honestly– and the whole Groose situation, which, I’m not sure what to make of either beyond the fact that he may have gotten cursed by opposing Demise? And then went on to start the gerudo tribe, which ended up being an all-women group for some reason? Maybe? It’s not confirmed? I feel like it’s more of a fun tidbit than a central piece of the gerudo puzzle, so I’ll leave it there like I would a cool rock I brought back from a walk and that I don’t know where to put in my house)
Then, Breath of the Wild happened and changed things.
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BREATH OF THE WILD
(Additional short note, but: while I won’t mention Four Swords Adventure, since it’s a weird one that almost nobody has played and severely messes with the Timeline, we kind of see the beginnings of what is about to happen in Breath of the Wild in this game –gerudos coming back without much explanation, then distancing themselves from Ganondorf to become friends with hylians because he was too hungry for power and now they are nice and have good reputation because they are our friendsss)
I was actually so happy to learn gerudos were making a comeback in a mainline Zelda game, and this got me more excited about Breath of the Wild than basically anything else the game involved. And getting to explore the Desert once again, meeting this new batch of impossibly tall buff girls, getting more about their language and their culture, Riju and the rest of the little girls are adorable, the grandmas are so cool, the sand seals??? sign me the fuck up??? And above it all, hanging around Gerudo Town at night and feeling as warm and cozy as little me liked to imagine how freeing it would feel, to stay there and watch the desert behind the safety of their walls in OoT… This was great. I loved it.
It was a huge compensation for the criticism I’m about to make, but did leave me with… questions regarding how their culture was going to be handled moving forward.
I’ll start with something small yet deeply revelatory, then work my way from there.
So... gerudos’ ears are pointy now.
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This is pretty significant. Lore-wise, it’s been said that the elongated ears of hylians are there so they can better hear the voices of the gods. It’s considered a sign of holiness in-universe. There's a bunch of really thoughtful analysis on tumblr over that whole Ganondorf ear situation, which is a mess but also very interesting, but the short answer is: I think the absence of pointy ears was a clear design choice to originally signify them as Less Good. Even when Ganondorf gets pointier ears, they never get as long as hylians’. Worth noting: not every non-gerudo character has pointy ears: gorons, zoras and ritos (among others) do not possess this trait, and there are even some humans that have regular rounded ears in the series –though they always seem to be of lesser relevance, if not downright peasants in Twilight Princess. Pointy ears always tended to implied a strict hierarchy in the series: basically, the more pointy, the more Protagonist you become.
(also their eyes becoming green instead of the traditional yellow/golden, which looks more wicked and demonic --and cooler also tbh)
The pointy ears imply two things. From within the game, this could be interpreted in two ways: either that gerudos… converted, for a lack of a better term, and are now considered holy through their worship of the Golden Goddesses and/or Hylia, or that their mingling with hylians through tens of thousands of years had them acquiring this trait out of sheer genetic override (though they have kept their mostly-women birth rates, their big nose, darker skin –for the most part– and red hair). Probably a healthy mixture of both. Design-wise, it signifies something quite simple to the player: they are on hylians’ side now. They are good guys. We can trust them, even if they still have a little spice in them. They aligned themselves with us and against Ganon in all of its manifestations (even if he’s but an angry ghastly pig being parasitic to everything it touches in this iteration). They are on the side of Good, definitively, and will fight evil by our side.
On that note, I think it’s worth bringing out another major change from their initial iteration, which is their overt friendship with Hyrule as a whole, and with the Royal Family in particular. Despite not allowing any voe inside their walls (we’ll come back to this), their relationship with hylians is pretty neat. They have booming trade roads, travel and meet with the rest of the cultures, and are fierce enemies with the Yiga clan, who are renowned for being huge Calamity Ganon supporters. The tables certainly have turned. I want to bring out, in particular, Urbosa’s friendship with the queen and her role as the cool aunt taking care of Zelda and protecting her from evil (to be noted: I am not familiar with Age of Calamity so if I’m mischaracterizing her in any way, please let me know). The gerudo sense of sisterhood has been extended to the royals they used to fight against. I would go on and say the cultures peacefully coexist, but I think that what we’re looking at here is a case of vassal behavior, just like we used to have from zoras (in the non-Fallen Timelines) and gorons. This is a huge departure from gerudos being openly rejecting of Hylian culture in their initial iteration, and something that is worth returning to later.
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Okay. Now it’s time to mention the weird obsession BotW gerudos have with romance. I didn’t take notice of my issues with their writing until I realized how prevalent of a theme that was. Now, the reason given for gerudos to refuse entry to males (of every race) has much more to do with preventing young gerudos to make mistakes than anything else, and is actively being put into question by the younger generations –which would make sense. But the amount of NPCs that either lament their lack of match, talk about their husbands (because they marry now apparently) or are invested in romance, and a very limited understanding of romance at that (heterosexual, closed, etc), makes for much more of the population that I initially expected. There’s no mention of what’s going on with their males, if there are new males being born and either exiled or abandoned, or if Ganondorf being technically still alive have have cut them off male heirs. Either way: no more kings, only girlbosses chiefs.
To have the gerudos so interconnected with Hyrule, not only through trade but through extremely coded romance where they have to make themselves palatable to a future male partner and enforce fidelity, was… a choice. The extremely brief and skippable mention of gerudos sometimes going to Castle Town in search for boyfriends in OoT became half of their personality traits in this game. We went from a race that was fiercely independent and mocking of the unworthy men who tried to mingle with them, to… this. Now I’m not saying some of the sidequests aren’t cute, or that I didn’t like the wedding, or that the grandma near the abandoned statue of Hylia (so she was worshipped at some point) clocking us and talking about her love life wasn’t one of my favorite gerudo conversations. I’m saying that the vibes have definitively changed. For the better? I’m not sure.
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I once stumbled upon an article that said that Breath of the Wild gerudos were a huge improvement compared to their original introduction, because they were no longer presented as evil and hostile thieves groveling at the boot of a single man, but as a full culture allied with the protagonist and actively involved in the story, while still getting their Cool Girl Badass moment (again can’t find it anymore, I’ll link it if I stumble upon it again). I see where this comes from, but I honestly can’t help but consider it a reading that assumes something pretty major (though through no fault of their own, as the games tend to hammer this down as hard as they can), and that being hylians as the unquestioned anchor of Good.
Which, in spite of what the games want me to believe, I… feel uncomfortable taking at face value.
To me, regarding how gerudos are being incorporated in that goodie narrative, this is kind of a case of surface-level feminism trumping over colonialist/imperialist concerns. It becomes more important to perform the aesthetics of being cool and friendly and independent than scratching at any deeper problem that would risk making people uncomfortable. This is kind of Green Skin Ganon all over again: oh wait, isn’t it a little icky to have the evil bad guy being brown while faced by the most aryan-looking ass heroes of all time? Okay, then let’s take the brown guy and make his skin green so we don’t have to feel bad anymore that the conflict has racial undertones!! Solved!! There’s nothing questionable about changing a PoC's features to make it more monstrous and less human, right?
To me, it’s kind of the coward option: instead of accepting the messy reality those initial choices created (and their interesting nuances if taken at face value), let’s just… rewrite the PoC culture’s history to make it feel less uncomfortable for the white heroes. In many ways, it is an extension of what hylians have always done: scrubbing the weird and messy things about the past and shoving them deep down into the spooky well and far into the desert prison and away in alternate hellish dimensions, and then make up a very simple story where they get to feel good about themselves –except this time, it’s the fabric of the games, the literal reality, bending backward to make it happen. Which, in my opinion, makes it much worse than before. Now, there’s no conversation. The fabric of reality is changing their own history so that there is nothing to discuss anymore. Ganondorf was always evil incarnate. He never had any point. It was always 100% his own fault, his own hubris, his own fated wickedness. He was always demonic (and green, very important –having a flashback to people on twitter accusing artists restoring the TotK green skin to the original brown of wanting to make Ganondorf black, and like….. how do I put it gently…..)
And, above all else: gerudo are to distance themselves from his legacy so they can stay in the club of the Good and Just and Holy.
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Because here’s the messy thing: as much as I love seeing the gerudos again in Breath of the Wild and as much I love for them to have survived the Era of Myth (??? somehow ???), this… kind of changes Ganondorf’s character arc. No longer do we have the story of a king who wanted more, either for his people, for himself or both, and led his culture to its destruction in his search for absolute Power, while remaining ironically incapable of maintaining what little he already had. This starts from him kneeling to the king of Hyrule in OoT and leads to the deluge, Arbiter’s Ground, his own mothers dying for the sake of his failed resurrection. Breath of the Wild changes this: now, the gerudo were apparently fine without him? They apparently did their own thing and became suddenly and inexplicably disconnected from his actions? I know it’s kind of implied they side with hylians at the end of OoT, but it’s honestly never really explored why they would cheer for the death of their king while never seeming to resent him before except for Nabooru –there are mentions of brainwashing for those who resist him (as well as “other groups in the desert”, tho they are never mentioned again), but it’s hardly a proper plot point for the majority of the tribe, aaaand they still die by Wind Waker in the Adult Timeline, in spite of their potential alliegance…
(again, this shift towards submitting to Hyrule actually started with Four Swords Adventure, getting crisper with each iteration)
There used to be this polite blur regarding Ganondorf’s relationship to them, how much he used them and how much he acted in their name (with arguments for both sides), and I think this messy and debatable question mark was one of the most compelling aspects of his character. Gerudos rejecting their relationship at a near-cosmic, reality-bending level, removes a huge layer of complexity to both parties… all for the benefit of making hylians come out cleaner out of this whole exchange, their moral grayness barely a whisper in the distance.
I’ll kind of go on the record and say that I suspect the addition of Demise to the canon to serve a similar purpose (at least in part): if Ganondorf becomes but the manifestation of a demonic curse, and is no longer an extremely messy character brimming with agency and drive, forcing the heavens to reckon with said agency in a way he was never meant to access, born from a complex set of circumstances from which we clearly get only a limited and biased perspective, then it becomes extremely clear that he’s a Bad in a way that isn’t worth exploring further. Even if he does have some points, he is a Bad. It’s what matters most. Not to say I even hate what this angle can bring to the table or that I want him to become Good (I don’t –I’ll talk more about why I dislike most takes on him being a helpless victim to the curse), but once again, who benefits from adding another Unquestionned Baddie to the equation to rest upon? Not him, and not the gerudos, that’s for sure.
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So. Why did I, me, personally, like the gerudos in the first place?
Beyond the inherent coolness factor of their culture and the fascinating mysteries of what is merely suggested, I think… I think I loved gerudos because we were obvious outsiders. Because their rejection of Hylian culture was so sharp and extreme, their value system so different, and their writing, their religion, their relationship to power and hierarchy and worth wanted nothing to do with hylians. They didn’t need hylians, beyond them having potential resources to steal. In fact, the threat of hylians influencing their culture was such that the entry to the Fortress was forbidden to everyone (I don’t think men were ever singled out, by the way, even though they are mocked relentlessly). I think there was something inherently hopeful about this semi-matriarchy resisting the outside world, and especially its notions of what girls were meant to be –it was 1998, and every other girl character in OoT, besides Impa and Sheik that?? is another can of worms entirely, is either helpless or someone to save. For them to reject this narrow vision of femininity was, in my opinion, much more radical than what we got in BotW. Less nuanced, more problematic perhaps? But also much more powerful. Gerudo Valley is home, not to a town, but a Fortress.
Hylians were worth being resisted.
In Breath of the Wild, their refusal to let men enter their town is kind of boiled down to a fading tradition over-focused on romance, a meek little game of chase. Their entire goal seems to be finding a hylian to settle down with. Say what you will about the single man and the many girls (never explored and completely open-ended in its implications, btw), but at least it wasn’t… that. At least it opened the way for different ways for people to exist and imagine culture and civilization, outside of the heterosexual couple, the christian-infused patriarchy and its trickling down implications. What I want to say is: let my girls tell hylians they ain’t shit!! That they aren’t the end all be all of reality! This is what made gerudos so compelling in the first place! Where is that bite now? Where is that self-definition?
It’s gone, because hylians need to be Good. So we tee-hee at the creep running laps around the town, we disguise ourselves to breach their trust and infiltrate their town (though there is nuance to be had there, gender be complicated etc), we watch them pine after shitty dudes and take classes to become the perfect approachable woman and make love soups with ?? strange ingredients honestly, and we witness them get very friendly with the Royal Family they used to conspire against, dying to protect the princess against the manifestation of their ancient king reduced to a raving puddle of Bad Boar.
Hyrule, unified against him.
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TEARS OF THE KINGDOM
For posterity’s sake: this post was made before the game was released. I’ll probably update my thoughts on a separate thing later on.
I don’t think gerudos allying with the hylians and burying their own legends about Ganondorf as deeply underground as they can until it blows up in their face is a bad setup at all. It’s actually pretty juicy, and there’s a ton of fascinating stuff that could happen here –even some involving gerudos taking a firm stand against him while still reconnecting with their past and the choices they made once. This is my hope with the title of the game: Tears of the Kingdoms. Let’s examine them all, account for the damage, and decide how we move forward from there with the full knowledge of where we come from.
What I am afraid of (and I already made posts about that) is the scenario where gerudos rallying against Ganondorf, which I expect will forcefully try to take back his place as their king, is used for cheap feminist points that completely fail to examine, well. Everything mentioned above. Where reality bends itself out of the way of the Goddesses, and hylians’ responsibility in any of this mess, so that everything bad is 100% Ganon’s fault and so he must be cast aside and torn away from the Cool Gerudo Girls and this is 100% justified and deserved because we are Independent Women Who Take No Shit from No Men (unless they are the king of Hyrule or any random hylian they wish to marry apparently).
I’ll say this here because it’s been burning my mouth every time I see discourse about Ganondorf and the gerudo: gerudos declared him as their king. To make a really bad comparison that I dislike: he didn’t run around to assemble girls and make a cult around himself, he was born with the cult already formed around him (and it’s not a cult, it’s just a different mode of governance –hylians also revere the Royal Family like gods, don’t they?). This heavily changes the dynamics at play. Not to remove any agency from him to do a little invasion about it, but chances are the ancestors to BotW’s gerudos fully expected him to behave in this way, at least to a degree –in OoT you see very plainly that they value physical prowess, feats of thievery, witchcraft and general violence. It’s more complicated than him being a Bad and making the poor helpless women go along with the plan uwu –even taking the brainwashing into account, AND Koume and Kotake counting as gerudos too, even if they might not be not fully innocent in shaping the culture and the man himself. If manipulation and forced servitude is the explanation given, I’ll be genuinely mad –because, once more, all the nuance and messiness would be flattened for the sake of making Ganondorf Bad and the gerudo Good (= on hylians’ side).
It bears to be said: I think feminism stances that require, not to criticize (which is fair), but to fully dehumanize and bestialize men of color to make any sense are uhhh bad, and it's worth questionning who they end up serving in the end.
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The flip side of this would be to make Ganondorf a poor little meow meow that was secretly controlled by the evil Demise all along, and... I’ll be real. I really don’t think it solves our problem at all. It might even make it worse.
My problem with how gerudos have been handled thus far, being mostly connected to how they behave in relation to hylians Good, is that they’ve been systematically defanged not to threaten the status quo as much as they used to. I think it’s pretty clear why I’m not a fan of Ganondorf being a mere victim of cosmic circumstances; I have a post that goes more in depth about this, but to simplify: my man has legitimate grievances. To make him a mere puppet to Evil Incarnate would, to me, be just another attempt to erase the despotism of the Goddesses, the unjust hierarchy of the world, what hylians have historically done to the races they were in conflict with (looking at the Yiga for the most recent example…)
I’m not saying his fight is clean or even legitimate, that he isn't driven by his own sense of self-importance above anything else, or that he should win (he has no plan beyond domination and victory, that's not a future). But I think there’s something really important about having someone being willing to fully consume himself and everything around him for the simple fact that someone should resist the order of the world. Even if that makes him a heartless, cruel, and egomaniac demon-pig. Even if there’s no Hyrule left to rule. Even if his own people despise him, or are long gone and forgotten.
Is it a little heart-wrenching? Uhh yes to me yes most definitively. This is why Wind Waker Ganondorf hits so hard, and remains (I think) his favorite entry in the series so far. But… I still find this fate of eternal resistance more resonant and empowered, and far less grim, than if Hyrule’s lore absorbs his hatred and rage, gives it to another entity that would be Badder (= more opposed to hylians and the goddesses), and scrubs it off anything icky and uncomfortable, rendering it completely domesticated and non-threatening to hylian domination; rubbed of his skin color, of his complexity, of his own emotions, even made... kind of sexy now, in the same way his sisters have been made before him? I am very, very afraid of him being turned from furious and an unapologetic subject in his own legend to a "redeemed" (according to whom??) and palatable object in somebody else’s, that you now end up having to… save from himself.
Again, I want to trust that Tears of the Kingdom can walk that line and preserve everything sharp and contrasting and profound and thrilling about this fascinating setup. I don’t expect a philosophy course, this is a game for children –but it doesn’t mean Nintendo didn’t do an astounding job with similar setups in the past. Again, I’ll invoke the Wind Waker conflict, but Twilight Princess did a lot of great things as well (Zant’s speech, if you can get past the weird stretches and stumping and NNHYAAAs, is pretty fantastic) –and the subtle writing of Majora’s Mask is also proof enough this series can be complex without being impermeable.
So this is where my hope lies. Not really with BotW’s writing, which, I’m sorry to say, but I found to be below what the series has done in the past (I have no problem with the setup and how the story is explored, I think it was a great idea, but wasn’t ever sold on the actual writing the way I may have been with previous titles –it felt… very tropey to me overall, with a couple of highlights). But Nintendo has shown to know how to write compelling stories for children that know where to sprinkle its darkness and how to preserve its hope, and this is this side I’m relying on for this delicate storyline moving forward.
And now? Now… I suppose we wait and see.
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(thank you for reading my impossibly long essay what the actual hell, at least I got it all out of my system, see you in part 2 for when TotK comes out I suppose aaa)
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onirique-amaranth · 10 months
Text
⎮Why run away from the unknown?⎮
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⏤Characters: Childe⎮reader
⏤ Including: nsfw (-17)
⏤ Warnings: bottom Tartaglia, top reader, taller and buff male reader (sunfrost eremite height), confused and lost reader, struggle to comprehend the environment, mention of alcohol, stalking, implied obsession, sex under the influence, spitting, squirting.
⏤ Summary: Your entire world can fall apart just by waking up. And this time, the gods didn't miss their shot.
⏤ 26.620 words
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There are many possibilities and events that a human can't predict…
Such as the loss of a loved one, a natural but disastrous phenomenon for humankind, the pain that can be inflicted on you by a single hand gesture, a heartbreak… So many things that are impossible to anticipate or even envisage. And even if someone did, no one would believe them.  
Other than those, you also wanted to add something, that no one will ever listen to or believe you about. Nobody could dare to consider it as possible or real.
You woke up in another world. 
At least, that's what you guessed after a long while. 
After waking up, in an unknown place, you were just confused. Nothing seemed similar to anything you have seen before, each detail of the surrounding environment was odd, coming out of a fantasy world. Not only was the view unbelievable, but the silence was deafening, absolutely nothing was reaching your ears. 
This was something a human, especially you, could have never expected or predicted, it was surrealistic. Within such a short instant, your world turned upside down, and you weren't fully aware of it yet. 
After all, how crazy would it be to wake up in an unknown world? 
It was impossible, you knew that, it was obviously supposed to be unrealizable. Only an insane person could be imagining this… Did you lose your mind? 
From the second you opened your eyes, you were wholly and utterly lost, glancing around frantically. Thankfully, you weren’t the kind of person to immediately lose your cool, so panic hasn’t taken control over your body yet. As most humans would, you were trying to rationalize what was happening, both to figure out the situation you were in and also to reassure yourself, not wishing to imagine the worst yet. 
You observed your surroundings, in the hope to recognize something familiar, anything, really. Unfortunately, nothing was even moderately ordinary to you. All the trees were different, the plants growing around the place were unknown species, the color of the sky seemed odd along with the clouds, and even the calming smell of the forest seemed unusual. 
Around you, making a small imperfect circle of light, were light blue flowers glowing. At first, they were only a small number, but while you were distracted, they seemed to have multiplied and grown around you in a protective form. The sight was gorgeous, especially in the early afternoon, as it was the only source of light near you. 
But it didn’t erase a question from your mind… 
Where were you? 
Other than being lost, the main problem for you was the lack of human presence near this location. Not only this, but you were extremely uneasy with the lack of sounds, since you woke up the silence has never been broken once. 
Despite trying your best to pay attention to the possible surrounding noises, the silence remained loud, to the point you could not hear yourself breathe, even your heart beating inside your chest was quiet. It was clear that something was off, even if the world was completely silent, you should be able to hear yourself still. 
Perhaps, your ears were the problem. 
It was not only the sounds of the forest though, as you also couldn’t hear the wind making the leaves fall down to the ground, that soft whiz reaching your ears whenever the wind gets too strong. The creaking of branches under the paws of a wild animal, the buzzing of the insects, the chirping of the crickets, the songs of the owls, none of this was reaching your ears. 
As someone used to have continuous noises around him, even discreet ones, what was the most disturbing was the lack of voices. When usually, there was always someone talking or shouting in the background, currently, there wasn’t anyone breaking the silence. And you couldn’t help but miss the group of children running around and playing games loudly, or the group of elders talking about politics and gossiping about the new person moving into their building. For an unknown reason, it seemed so far away, as if you have been here for centuries. 
You had this sensation of emptiness, that not only you were lost in a random place, but lost in a vast nothingness. 
Except for you, there was just the emptiness of a place surrounding you, swallowing you whole and leaving nothing behind. The anxiety and a certain fear took over your body as if it was warning you that you were in danger. Still, that was ridiculous. As you were hyperaware of how lonely you were, you doubt anything could try to harm you. 
You really started to get worried, your hands trembled as you tried to get up, and suddenly, it was as if something was taken out of your ears. In an instant, you could hear absolutely everything, even your own blood flowing through your veins, the way your diaphragm was contracting and flattening, relaxing and returning to its original shape as you breathed rapidly. 
All the sounds at once were overwhelming, after the cacophony that your own body was producing, it was the forest that came alive all around you, each note penetrating through your unprepared mind. Instead of staying as a discord, they harmonized, and the sound of the wind passing through the leaves of the trees dragged the chirps of the birds along, and finally, your own breathing synchronized with the rest. 
After so long of being deprived of your hearing, you could feel your body relaxes as everything came back to you. Now, you will never be able to deny that pure silence was stressful, and perhaps maddening, while, the soft sounds of the world were soothing, melting away any kind of anxiety building up inside your body, from the unhealthy amount of panicked thoughts you have.
Now that you were able to comprehend all the things that were happening around you, without any difficulties or disadvantages, you sit up correctly. The flowers encircling you shine somewhat brighter, with your back resting against the trunk of an enormous tree, its roots crawling under the ground, following the path of the flowers. 
As the sun was high in the sky, with no clouds hiding it anymore, the branches of the tree moved, its leaves protecting you from the scorching light. It was very sudden, but a strange feeling ran through your body, an odd calmness taking over your senses. You were unable to focus on those overwhelming and stressful thoughts you had, your mind was blank as for the first time in a very long while, you felt at peace. 
Your body synchronized with the rhythm of the forest, and any ounce of anxiety you had dissipated like the morning dew after the first ray of sunlight appeared. Something in this place, in the air, was murmuring in your ear that you should not worry and just relax, how you could forget anything that was troubling you, as it was not meaningful anymore. 
It was as if the strangeness and importance of your current situation evaporated from your mind, as you were bathing like an Inteyvat in the sunlight. Your worries became details, something that was even worth wondering about. If it was not for a sudden loud voice, belonging to someone who seemed to shout from afar, you would have fallen asleep there, in this exact same spot. Unfortunately, the deafening and high-pitched voice shattered the calm of solitude you were in. 
There was something disturbing about this voice, the fact that it seemed highly familiar, not only the voice itself but also the way of talking. It was not a trick of your mind, whoever this person was, you were certain that you heard their voice somewhere.
While the scenery engulfing you was still just as foreign, this voice coming from an unnamed place was not, the tone definitely not unknown. And now, the person that appeared in front of you was even less of a mystery, as your eyes widened in shock, taking in the newfound information that could make the situation completely different. 
How could she be here? 
This person was standing on the other side of the forest, near the cliff, and she seemed like she didn’t notice you yet. You were on your guard, leaving your sitting position to a squatting position, still low enough to not be perceived, but also being able to run at any moment. Your entire body was tensed, not knowing if it was a hallucination, and you were losing it, or if it was real. 
The silhouette became clearer as she walked to the darkest part of the forest, which meant that she was going to pass just in front of you, and that was making you anxious. All the flowers around you were losing their light, becoming duller and duller, until they all died. The roots were rotten, emitting a putrid odor. When she ended up only a few meters away from you, all the surrounding nature was dead, leaving you confused and shocked.
She disappeared behind a tree, and you panicked, not understanding why she changed direction suddenly, in a swift and suspicious movement. You crouched down, looking at everything rapidly, checking if she was not going to appear near you. Suddenly, there was a flash of red clothes, and she was back on her original path, the neat headband bouncing as she walked, the uncommon goggles reflecting the sunlight. 
It was not just anybody, she was a person you know far too well, and that you definitely should not be seeing in front of your eyes right now, in any circumstances. It was the Outrider, Amber, from Genshin Impact. Before your very eyes, was a character of a video game, in flesh and bones, acting like a real human being, running around as if a program did not control her. 
If that was even slightly real, or somewhat linked to the game, it means that you are in Mondstadt right now. And you were watching Amber run around, doing her tasks and patrolling the area to prevent monsters to get too close to the city. Still, even with a relatively better understanding of your situation and location, it still made no sense. 
What was happening? How did you end up here? 
At that moment, it was like a switch in your brain, and you were only thinking about a way to get up and leave without being noticed. 
You did not even try to think about what could possibly be going on, or even try to conceive the most logical options for your current predicament. It was a raw reaction, the sudden odd fear of being caught by someone you had no trust in, in a place you did not have enough information about, and in a vulnerable state. 
Sensing you were panicking, you watched in shock as your hands were trembling like crazy, and how your vision was blurry, as your tension went through the roof. In this state, you knew you couldn’t do much, except panic more as Amber gets closer to your spot, so you tried the most basic exercise to take back control of your body. When your mind was clear enough, you decided to hide behind the tree instead of running away immediately, as the tree was large enough to conceal your presence, and also help you avoid a challenging encounter. 
With your back against the trunk, you placed a hand over your chest and the other on your stomach, feeling your heartbeat as you try to regulate your breathing. Your breaths were slower, and more relaxed as you closed your eyes and focused on slowly breathing in through your nose, with your mouth closed. You heard the footsteps of Amber coming closer, but you ignored them, only focusing on your body as you just prayed she would not notice you. 
It seemed endless before you heard another sound, much farther away from you. With a certain discomfort and the sensation of having a knot in your stomach, you try to peek at her carefully, making sure she really took some distance. 
When you were certain that she was far enough from you, you looked around to see the path you could take and bolted away without any thought, going towards this unidentified direction. Earlier, you tried to look at the sky, and guess where the north was, so you could avoid going to Mondstadt, but you could not find Polaris or the Plough. The only thing you could do was hope you were going somewhere near Dragonspine. 
Unfortunately, you understood you went in the wrong direction when you saw the massive oak tree at Windrise standing from afar. You did not want to go towards it, but at the same time, it could make a good starting point to go south after, so you ended up convincing yourself to walk toward it. As you stood in front of it, impressed by how gigantic and impressive it was in real life, you started to look around, quickly finding where was the city of freedom. 
You pondered for a while, unsure of what to do, and if trying to enter Mondstadt while looking like a total foreigner was really a good idea. Aether was only trusted because he came in with Amber, and also because he defeated Dvalin, which meant that you had no way of gaining their trust. Especially with nothing on you except your clothes, you won’t be able to defend yourself if something happens… It would be better to go somewhere else. 
Then, one question came to your mind.
Were the characters even speaking your language, or understanding it? 
If they did not… you will be in great trouble. 
You looked at the green bright leaves, admiring the way the sunlight shone through them, but you couldn’t help but sigh in misery. 
You were hit over the head with a sledgehammer, as you remembered how much knowledge you were lacking. You had absolutely no idea of what part of the storyline you were currently in, if anything at all around you was real or not, and if you had even an insignificant chance of surviving this world. Anything could come crashing down on you at any moment, and you could be already in trouble without even being aware of it. 
By only thinking about the negative and dangerous possibilities awaiting you after stepping into Mondstadt, unknowingly, you scared and convinced yourself that it was better to leave. Nodding your head to yourself, you admire the beautiful sight of the wind city before turning in the other direction. You stretched, letting a soft satisfied groan escape your lips, and after dusting off your pants from sitting on the ground for too long, you followed the path that you chose, which should let you towards the southwest. 
It may be the survival instinct or just the way any human was agitated while being in an unknown land, but it seemed like your brain was only focusing on a way to come through everything on your path. As you thought about what you were lacking, you envisaged how and where you could find a camp, so you could steal a weapon, along with collecting some food. After all, you are well aware that you will not survive for long if you have nothing yourself or any resources. 
As you walked, the path became thinner, the ground was not taken care of, and rocks along with cracks and fissures. You reached another small forest, and at the edge of it, you managed to distinguish a camp, with a small pile of twigs in the middle put on fire. Aware of how vulnerable you were, and not in a position of power, you decided to be sneaky about your attack.
It took a little less than an hour to reach the camp, a long time was spent analyzing your situation, checking how many hilichurls were in that camp, how many were armed, and who was the closest to you. You did not attack immediately, as you decided to be patient and whole strategy to get out of there unharmed. 
After gathering all your courage, and making sure it was realizable, you attacked the hilichurl that was the further away from the camp and the other monsters. You crouched and moved towards it, sneakily grabbing two rocks that were on the ground. You threw the first one away, so it could make a noise and distract the hilichurl, and used the other to hit it strongly at the back of the head. Not wanting to get caught by the rest of the camp, you grabbed the sword that fell on the ground and run away. 
Since then, a few days passed, and you managed to collect everything you needed. With your newfound weapon, you were now able to raid camps and take what you required, why or without using violence. It was weird, but a few times, the hilichurls would not attack you and simply let you take what you needed. 
By now, since you started imagining this fantasy world, three days passed. At least, the sun went down three times, though you had no idea for how long you have been stuck here. During those days, you managed to get better weapons, including the Light of Foliar Incision, which you certainly did not expect to find in a chest hidden in a crevice; and the Vortex Vanquisher, which you stole from a hilichurl which itself surely stole it. 
Also, you learned how to chase boars and catch fishes in nearby rivers. Your alimentation was mainly based on fruits, vegetables, and the few animals that you could find. Still following the path, you found a bag that was left abandoned on the side of the road, it was empty, except for a few moras. Without thinking much, you took it and used it to put your food in there, keeping the mora, and also some materials. 
Finally, you considered yourself ready and able to move out of this zone. Despite moving left and right, you always managed to fall back onto your original path, which would end up leading you to a certain city. You were convinced that with your current inventory, you would be prepared mentally and physically for anything that could happen. 
Though, until now, a detail escaped from your mind. As you were too focused on having higher chances of surviving, you completely forgot what were your worries in the first place… Which was, what happened and how you got stuck here. 
It’s not that you weren’t curious or confused, you were, extremely. But, it was as if something was clearing up your mind whenever you were thinking about it. As you were thinking about it, you felt a sudden pain in the back of your head, and in an instant, you forgot what you were thinking about. 
You stood there, silent, trying to remember what you were so concentrated on, but you seemed to not be able to find it. Sighing, you went back to walking, you passed through the forests, glades, the Windwail Highland, and the Dawn Winery, when finally you reached Bishui Plain. You really wanted to pass the Stone Gate before sunrise, and Dihua Marsh before noon. 
Standing on a cliff, you admired the scenery, the golden leaves of the tree were shining with the first ray of sunlight, and the most perfect green grass you have ever seen was swaying gently with the wind. From afar, you could admire the Wangshu Inn, but unfortunately, you had to speed up and not let yourself get distracted. You had only enough resources to last for a day or so, and you couldn’t afford to lose more time. So, you kept walking, shielding your eyes from the scorching sun, even though it was only the morning. 
You were extremely thankful that on the way, near the mountains of Bishui Plain; you were even lucky enough to cross paths with some merchants, from whom you bought a map with some of the mora that you found in the bag. This map not only allowed you to understand what was your exact location, but also the position of every shop, confirming if you were on the good path and showing the best spot to hunt. Yet, there was also none near your current location, you wished you took a break sooner.
Still, you couldn’t complain as the merchants were sympathetic enough to give you direction and even suggested accompanying you for a day or so, as they were going the same way. With them by your side, you walked through the mountains in record time, avoiding all the difficult and dangerous paths with their knowledge. You thanked the merchants multiple times before going on your way, more than indebted to their kindness. Also, you were especially pleased to learn that the people here were speaking your language, or at least a few of them were, so the language barrier was not going to be a problem. 
So, you went on your separate way with newfound knowledge, a better understanding of your current surroundings, and more resources, such as food and water. 
During such long journeys, it was not rare to start questioning yourself, your abilities, and your goal. And so, on your way, doubts consumed your mind. 
At first, you were heading towards Liyue with confidence, absolutely certain that you could, and would, reach your aim. But then, you couldn’t help but question your current situation, a recurrent question coming back: What was going on?, and, Since when reaching Liyue become such an important objective for you? 
It was sudden, but it was something you did not think about deeply before. Interrogating yourself on how you ended up in this situation, the details that were flying away from your mind finally came back. 
You were not just traveling, you were on a journey, going through places that you were perfectly aware did not exist in your world. You were hallucinating, or daydreaming perhaps, imagining yourself in a fantasy world. Then, it hit you like a ton of bricks, it was not your reality, you were dreaming. 
Nothing around you was real, it was just coming out of your imagination, the details caused by the hours you spent on that game. It was so logical, and yet you did not think about it before. The thought that everything was fictional and fantastic weirdly reassured you, as you understood that you had never been in danger, since it was a reverie. You had no reason to be preoccupied with hunger, dehydration, or even afraid of hilichurls. 
Until then, you were attacking the camps to survive, but you weren’t in a troublesome situation, so was it really useful? If you were simply lost in your subconscious, none of your actions regarding your supposed ‘survival’ were needed anymore.
It was with newfangled determination and confidence that you walked towards Liyue, not fearing anything or anyone. 
The apprehension and dread of dying, getting attacked, or being hurt held no power, the apprehension was nonexistent in your system. It was just a small detail. Still, you refused to always act recklessly all the time, you weren’t brainless and preferred to avoid too dangerous areas. You would survive either way, but suffering even for a short amount of time was not on your plan. Instead, you would get into fights you only knew you could win, yes you acquired some scars and bruises, but you also gained a better ability to fight, defend, and block, along with more flexibility and agility. 
It was not completely bad. 
Still, you learned that the pain was very much real, and after a few confrontations with numerous hilichurls, you concluded that it was better to take care of yourself. Even if nothing was real, the sensations, and emotions were, and you had to try your best to avoid getting hurt. It also made you come to another conclusion, which was that you shouldn’t get too close to powerful or dangerous characters. 
It would be a shame for your dream to end just because you were being too curious. 
After fighting with hilichurls many times, your clothes were ruined and some of your wounds couldn’t be cleaned, so you hoped to cross paths with another group of merchants, but it did not happen, unfortunately. You had to patch yourself up with what you could find, and hoped you will find a doctor in Liyue, other than Baizhu, since you shouldn’t get too close to known characters. 
Two days passed, and you were at the end of the Guili Plains, which was a pain to walk through, as there was a lack of vegetation and a place to hide from the sun. But it was granting you direct access to Liyue Harbor, so you just speed through this zone. Finally seeing the end near the middle of the night, you were too tired to continue walking, so you hid behind a rock and slept for some hours. 
It is only when you woke up, in the middle of the morning, almost noon that you noticed that you were finally able to get a glimpse of Liyue Harbor’s buildings from afar. It gave you an energy boost, as you jumped on your feet and took a rapid walking pace. 
As you keep going forward, you are able to admire more of the magnificent city, the green roofs shining through the air, and the sky, seeming to come out of a dream. It was such luck that you reached the city in the middle of the city when the sun was the highest in the sky, and the rays of light were shining through the clouds in a beautiful golden hue. 
Much to your pleasure, that resplendent glow was making everything sparkle, the emerald green roofs brighten, and the orange ones turn into a sweet shiny merigold color. The wondrous sight temporarily blinded you, hardly letting you able to admire the glimpse of what could be the calmest and most relaxing place you ever went to. Such a sight could be considered a blessing. 
Which each step you were taking, the light was getting more blazing and radiant, Liyue Harbor was giving off an atmosphere rich in luxury, and a sunny ambiance, even from afar. It was very impressive and imposing, the height of the building and the overall aura made you feel so small and powerless. It became even stronger when you reached the edge of the city, forced to stop at the entrance to process everything.
It was as if time froze, you stood there in awe, silently trying to take in the entire view, admiring each small detail that made the ambiance and buildings seem to come out of precious stones. 
Captivated by the climate and feel, you completely ignored the people around you to call over a small, cute cat, petting it for a while. As it purred and pushed its head against your hand, completely hogging your attention, the locals were observing you. Despite being used to seeing tourists get shocked by the architecture, they have rarely seen someone in such awe to the point they remained frozen and speechless. 
Some people were looking at you up and down, a group of women was chuckling while observing you, and some elders were glaring at your person and especially at your choice of outfit. If you ever wished to go unnoticed, you definitely failed.
It wasn’t surprising that you were drawing every person your way, as everything about you was standing out. Your foreign features were intriguing, along with your impressive height and build, which made most people curious and fascinated. Your face, the small and bigger scars littered over your body, your weird and ripped clothes along with your way of moving, keep catching the attention of any passer-by. 
For many, you were captivating, not only for your looks but also for the strange atmosphere floating around you. It was like waves, a translucent smoke coming out one by one, floating before vanishing into thin air. Only a few were able to see it, all of them had small glowing gems encased in a decorative design, the rest could only feel a certain difference in the air. 
Meanwhile, you were still completely lost in your thoughts, mindlessly petting the cute cat, which was soon joined by two dogs and another cat. Wondering about what you could do while being in Liyue, where to sleep, get food, and perhaps the places you could visit? You couldn’t help but be extremely curious about the characters that you could meet here, but you tried to convince yourself to keep feeling for yourself and stay away. 
You had to act oblivious, as if you knew nothing about their identities of them, and any other NPC. You needed to behave like a normal tourist. 
For now, you did not encounter any important character except for Amber, and you were just as glad as you were disappointed. It was incredible to have a vivid dream, and yet, you could not enjoy it to its full extent, which was extremely frustrating. By interacting with any character you knew, or your favorite ones, you would risk panicking and possibly dying if you let out pieces of information you shouldn’t know. 
Even though you hated acting like an oblivious person, you knew it was for the best. After all, it was still just a dream or hallucination, and you will surely not remember when you wake up. It is acceptable to make one or two mistakes by talking to a character, but you should not cross the line and keep yourself in check. 
Since you did not know how far you were in the storyline, you were scared of the fact that you could blur out something that did not happen yet. And you had no idea how a character could react, so you did not want to say something that would lead you to your dreamed death. 
You were so deep into your own mind that you did not sense the person standing next to you, unaware as they try to get your attention. They seemed to have tried calling you multiple times, and patting you on the shoulder until they finally lost patience and held your forearm, nails lightly pushing into your skin. When they were certain that they had your attention, since your head snapped up but not in their direction, they asked you designless questions. The person just managed to snap you out of your focused state, but you were still figuring out what you could do or not do before really realizing that someone was talking. 
At first, you thought they were someone who helps tourists and perhaps wanted to be your guide, but when their hand started to caress your arm and flirted with you, your conclusion flew out the window. You couldn’t deny that someone touching you without asking, and especially in this way, was pissing you off, but you did not want to make a scene… As gently as you could, you removed their hands from you, giving them a tense and fake smile. You stood up, taking a few steps back, trying to ease the awkward tension by asking them if they knew any good hotel you could stay at. 
Your level of annoyance went through the roof when they suddenly brightened up. They were squeezing your forearm as they giggled and blushed while trying to sneak their other arm around your waist, pointing at a love hotel not far from here. Your blood was boiling as you could not even comprehend how someone could be so crude and shameless. The remaining of your patience disappeared, and you pushed them away rather harshly. You told them with repulse in your voice that you just wanted to have a play to stay at tonight, and certainly did not want to them again in any way. 
You may have talked more loudly than intended, since you felt many eyes on you, the nearest people observing the scene but not doing anything. A few elders were whispering to themselves, their eyes darting from the unknown person to you, and you felt irked when they concluded that you were the rude one since you were a foreigner. 
But before you could try to defend yourself, an elder woman stepped in, walking towards you slowly before patting your back. She loudly scolded the rude person, saying she saw everything, and they should be ashamed of jumping on a lost tourist. She told them to go away and leave you alone, before showing you the direction to two different hotels that were well-known in the city. Kindly suggesting you a few places to shop at, and what part of the city you needed to avoid. 
Genuinely glad, you bowed and thanked her for the kind help, also offering compensation for taking some of her time, but she refused. The older woman just asked you to help her walk home, as she didn’t need anything else. By now, the other person bothering you disappeared from the scene. 
All the attention shifted away from you, and the group of elders looked away in embarrassment, leaving without saying another word. Bidding the woman goodbye, you were left to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere of the afternoon again. 
At least, it would have been the case, if someone else was not set on disturbing you one more time. This person was staring at you intensely, their focus was not wavering, even for a second. Their gaze was penetrating your body, setting it on fire, seeming to observe every detail and write down absolutely everything that they could notice about you. 
It was extremely disturbing and distracting. 
Your head was set ablaze at first, your torso following suit as the fire on the back of your head died down, and finally, your stomach was reduced to ashes. This pressure coming from a simple look was sending chills up your spine, it seemed like this person was trying to kill you with their eyes only. 
When the weight of their stare became unbearable, your entire body turned to ashes which were scattered by the wind, reduced to nothing by this unknown person. Driven by confusion and discomfort, you turned in the direction the glare was coming from, staring at this person straight in the eyes, burning rage and perplexity behind your pupils. You certainly did not expect to see him, and you froze when you recognized him, body paralyzed by fear and awe.
A tall man,
With short messy hair, and blue eyes fixated on yours…
The 11th Harbinger, 
Childe.
Your previous thoughts came back to you, you were aware that you should act like nothing happen, ignore that important, dangerous, and charismatic character. You should avoid eye contact, as you had no chance to win against him, it would be impossible to lie in front of someone as clever as Childe. It was logical that you should settle on smiling innocently and leave as fast as possible, protect yourself and take some distance, but your body refused to move. 
The gears inside your mind were working crazily, even if you managed to successfully run away, nothing could guarantee that it would be enough to save yourself. Childe was much more dangerous than any other character, just how bad was your luck?
Perhaps it was because of the anxiety taking over your body, or the lack of options you could envisage in this situation, but you threw everything out the window. How could you just let a simple character in a stupid dream ruin your fun? 
You were not just going to accept it. 
Childe did not seem to get distracted by anything… The people walking past you and breaking your eye contact for a short instant, the chirping of the birds, the wind sneaking into your clothes and sending glacial up your spine, making its scarf in his face. Despite everything, his staring did not stop even once, his eyes’ color seeming to only get darker and duller by the second. 
He wasn’t fixated on only one part of your face, but also letting his eye glide, wander, over your body. There was a sudden stop when he reached the clear marks of fighting, the few bruises and cuts, the long scar you got across your abdomen, along with the spots where your clothes weren’t covering your skin anymore. He seemed unbothered, but you could see the twitching of his hands, the anxious darting of his eyes, the way his jaw clenched, and his lips were tightly held together. 
It was weird how you didn’t feel like you were in danger, despite looking at a man that surely killed in cold blood many people, and never felt any regret. It was as if you were getting analyzed by a predator, which was chasing his potential prey, trying to find their weak spot. 
Unfortunately for Childe, you are a stubborn man and certainly won’t let anyone try to devour you. Clicking your tongue, you stepped forward, looking down at the smaller man in an overconfident manner. Now able to stare at Childe right in the eyes, you distinguished how his composure faltered for a second, but the next one, he was back to his impassive and frightening attitude again. 
You stared at each other in an odd and tense silence, neither of you looking away, even though you almost did a few times, since bright butterflies kept flying around you and resting on your shoulders or hands. You had to concentrate, so you wouldn’t be tempted to look at their beautiful wings, while you could see that Childe struggled with the extra movement, but he still refused to be the first one to show some weakness. It was childish, but you were both stubborn. 
As you grew tenser, his gaze became colder and colder, seeming to freeze you on the stop, unlike before as you felt like you were burned to the ground. You could feel a certain form of danger coming closer, the breath of the wolf hitting your face as he opened wide to rip your head off. It was confusing, was Childe trying to warn you, threatening you, or simply entertaining himself? You couldn’t tell, and it was playing with your emotions. 
After a while, it was clear that this exchange could last for hours, and far wishing to stay here much longer, you gave up first. There was surely another way to distract or mock him before leaving, and so, you had the dumbest idea. That’s how you thoughtlessly teased the Harbinger.  
With the most lustful gaze that you could execute, you meet his eyes for a short instant, slowly and barely blinking. Letting a sweet smile appear on your face, you let your eyes run over his body, stopping at random spots such as his shoulders, waist, or thighs. You admired every curve and visible scar, stopping for long seconds at the skin his gray jacket was not covering. Maybe you got a bit too carried away, as you couldn’t take your eyes off his waist and thighs, his silhouette was captivating, to say the least. 
Your competitive mind turned into something much more… unholy. 
Getting carried away, you didn’t notice the way he was rubbing his thighs together or the sudden change in expression on his face, his mask breaking slowly. You snapped out of it when you notice how red his cheeks have become, your composure faltered for an instant, and you had to focus on going back to your previous act as you meet his eyes one last time. Acting confident, you gave him a discreet smirk before wetting your lips, Childe following the movement of your tongue with strong interest, feeling like he’s the one being hunted.
While he was distracted, you took it as an opportunity to leave. Far from caring about the annoying person from earlier, which was trying to follow you discreetly with doe eyes, you walked rapidly, wanting to reach a hotel while you still could. Childe’s eyes did not leave your back until you disappear into another street, away from him. 
The next hour was spent trying to find one of the hotels the elder woman mentioned, relax, and take care of anything that should be considered urgent. Much to your pleasure, you found out it was a really good hotel, and thankfully not too expensive, affordable for someone in your situation, in other words. Even better, the receptionist didn’t judge or questioned you about your choice of clothes and the few wounds, instead, they were kind enough to give you a first aid kit, along with recommending a local doctor. It was even more appreciated, as you couldn’t just go see Baizhu, he was far too clever. 
Taking the key and giving the receptionist the money, you went to the room, which was more than okay for the price you paid. You left everything you had inside your hotel room, only keeping some money, so you could get a change of clothes immediately, and go see that local doctor. 
Visiting the city, you noticed that except for a minor number of luxurious and expensive stores, everything else was rather affordable, far from overpriced. Taking the time to find what could suit you the best within your budget, a budget that wasn’t even yours to begin with… you choose simple but beautiful clothes, which seemed to take inspiration from the hanfu. You bought a dark shade of blue along with a few touches of gray that suited your skin color perfectly, and without making you stand out too much. 
The sweet lady taking care of the shop was kind enough to help you pick out an outfit that was within your range of price, and that could fit your bigger build. It was something you could notice quickly when you enter Liyue, most people rarely reach your shoulder, and you saw no one yet who was the same size as you. After your purchase, and changing immediately after, you left looking much more elegant and spotless, definitely satisfied. 
Listening to the receptionist and their precise advice, you went to the nearest doctor’s office and pharmacy, following the indication they gave you. Even though you were tempted to go to the Bubu pharmacy, you didn’t want this dream to end yet, so you stayed away.
Instead, you went to a normal doctor, which made a very good job, trying their best to take care of the nastiest wounds on the spot. Finally, none of your wounds were hurting or bleeding anymore, and they were kind enough to give you everything you needed to keep taking care of any minor injuries for almost nothing. 
Feeling worn out, you stopped at a cheap restaurant, not far from the Wanmin restaurant, run by Xiangling’s father. During your days in the wild, you learned how to do various dishes and your cooking was great, but it didn’t alter the fact that eating at a restaurant was always much tastier. You never thought that Zhongyuan Chop Suey or the Vegetarian Abalone could be this good.
When everything you had to do was finally over with, you were able to rest in your hotel room, thanking the receptionist on the way. Held by the golden hue, you slept the afternoon away, engulfed in the warm and soft sheets. 
It was weird to be in bed and try to sleep while knowing you were currently hallucinating or in a dream already, but that could explain why you fell into a dreamless sleep, swallowed by nothingness. Still, the sensation was unusual, and you couldn’t help but wonder for how long you’d been sleeping and why this dream is so vivid. 
Deep down, you started to doubt if it was really a dream, or if you were just hallucinating… The sensations and feelings were so real it was overwhelming. That’s why you promised yourself to be careful just in case, even though you knew it was impossible to wake up in an entirely different world just like that.
When you woke up, it was the evening already, the sun was almost completely down, and the streets were already busy with younger people. Still, it was surprising how relatively quiet it was despite how many people were outside. 
You observed them from your window, admiring the colorful wave of people, feeling attracted to this joyfulness. Not seeing any harm in going out and having some fun instead of waiting for the night to pass, certainly bored and without anything to do, you left your room. You showered before exiting the hotel, letting yourself get lost in the streets and get dragged away by unknown people. You ended up conversing with people you had no idea what were their names, where you were, or how you got here. 
You drank one glass after the other, getting yanked into a new group of people, being drawn left and right until you found the perfect one, which was really friendly and refused to let you go. Spending more time with them, it seemed like they already considered you as a member of their friends’ group. And so, you found yourself following this group of people as they were going to a bar, arguing about which one was the greatest. 
You weren’t so thrilled at the idea of going out to another place that was unknown, especially as you already were a tad tipsy, and it was not safe to end up completely drunk here. You knew how wild it can be at the end of the night, and you prefer still being able to think properly. 
Yet, when you saw how everyone was disappointed when you said no, the guilt ate you up, and you felt bad for ruining their mood, so you ended up going with them anyway. But, you did warn them that you would not be drinking more than a glass, and they seemed to agree, seeming to not want to finish the night wasted too. 
Unsurprisingly, this dreamy week has been hellish for you, between the fights, the resources you had to collect, and the wounds you couldn’t patch up, you were exhausted. You really needed to relax, so this night was one of the best opportunities to, and at worst, you could just go back to your hotel room if you were too tired or not feeling well.  
The idea of getting wasted while being in a dream sounded especially stupid, so you promise that you will be careful and keep track of your consumption. 
Letting your new friends guide you, walking through the streets, seeming endless while you were having fun and forgetting everything. Despite laughing and joking around, there was still a shadow on the back of your mind, taunting you. 
The encounter from earlier did not want to leave your memory, you could still feel the eyes, the pressure, and the tension. Even though you were certain that you would not cross paths with Childe again, something kept bothering you, the ghost of a hand wrapping around your neck and then caressing your cheek gently. 
One of your new friends had to pat you on the shoulder to make you snap out of your paranoid state, only to tell you that you reached the bar, and the rest was already inside. The man beside you laughed at your evident confusion, and he guided you inside without another word, ignoring the chill going up his spine when he touched you. Suddenly, he felt threatened and hunted by something with a terrifying aura. 
Pushing the door open, you were met with loud cheering and low music. The man beside you stopped and looked up, trying to find where this weird sensation of being observed came from. To his surprise, everyone was doing their own thing and not paying attention to you two at all. 
Confused, he glanced back at you, but you didn’t stop unlike him, and were already at the table with the other guys. 
That was the good option, as he should have done the same and followed you immediately, instead of letting himself get distracted. He felt someone grab his wrist and yank him outside without giving him a choice, shoving a sharp object in his stomach the moment they were far away. 
The world became blurry, but he was able to see blue piercing eyes before everything went black. 
Meanwhile, you sat down with the others, completely forgetting about the guy, as you just thought he found someone to spend the night with or something similar. You were enjoying yourself until your small group became too loud as time went on, the noise being brutal on your poor ears. 
You felt your head being split open by the loud voices and the music in the background, creating a cacophony that couldn’t bear anymore. Instead of complaining, you got up silently and went to the counter, which was less crowded and far from the music. Nodding at the person next to you out of politeness, you weren’t planning to talk to them at all. 
Set on just getting a drink and relaxing before joining the group once again, you blocked out any superficial noise, ignoring the people trying to get close to you or buy you a drink. You wouldn’t even notice them, and if you did, waving them off was a clear enough message to be left alone. 
Much to your pleasure, the barman seemed to get the hint that you weren’t up to a discussion; So he left you alone, only interacting with you when taking your order, and he nicely let you enjoy your drink in peace. With a sweet smile professional smile, he would check on you from time to time, sliding a glass of water your way when he felt like it was needed. 
As time passed, you were less and less tempted to join your previous group again, which seemed to have gotten bigger and louder after you left. You felt well in your place, just sitting at the counter and relaxing, enjoying the drinks. Each drop was comfortingly burning your throat, swallowing the intoxicating liquor almost gratefully, sensing the way it was running down your trachea.
None of the drinks you tried had the taste of something you ever savored before, as it was something that only existed inside your dream and nowhere else. Or perhaps, you were just too tipsy to really feel the flavor and mix of alcohol that you were trying. 
As the moon became more visible, more people started to come to you, either trying to start a conversation or sitting down beside you and flirting. Most would give up the second you glared at them, more stubborn ones would try to pay for your drink but would get the hint rapidly, while some others seemed to never know when to stop. Thankfully, the barman was nice enough to drive away the most persistent and rude ones. 
For long minutes, you were left alone, until the chair beside you was drawn back. It was also moved closer to yours by the unknown person, and you couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Since they didn’t know you have been hit on too many times tonight, it was not their fault, but you couldn’t help but feel your patience run out. Annoyance was spreading through your body like wildfire. 
Expecting another annoying person, you glared at them, definitely not thinking you would see him. With an amused smirk on his face, Childe raised his eyebrow while observing you, motioning for the barman to get you another drink. The man glanced at you, wary, making sure that you did not mind. 
You sighed and nodded, Childe letting out a chuckle at the small movement, seeming diverted by what was happening. Though, his smirk disappeared as quickly as it appeared when someone tapped on his shoulder, by their way of speaking, it was clear they were pissed off. 
If you were at this person’s place, you would be frightened to death by the bloody glare he showed them, you feel your body freeze and a chill of terror go up your spine.
You watched as the gorgeous woman was complaining and accusing Childe of stealing her seat. She looked at you with doe eyes, almost managing to melt your heart, asking you to back her up. Did she expect you to lie just because she was pretty? If you were completely honest, it was so close to work, but Childe’s murderous aura was more powerful. 
Staring back at her with empty eyes, you kept sipping on your drink, the alcohol as burning as Childe’s gaze. Rapidly, the woman grew uncomfortable and scared, understanding that you weren’t going to help her, even with her flirting. 
You turned away before you could see her unhinged and disappointed glare, gritting her teeth as if she wanted to make you her next victim. At that moment, she almost completely forgot about Childe, which was the one she was mad at in the first place. Feeling uncomfortable, you were going to leave the bar, but the Harbinger placed his hand on your thigh, grip tightening whenever you tried to get up. 
From your peripheral vision, you could still see her tap on Childe’s shoulder, almost shaking him while cursing under her breath. It seemed like she was not going to give up any time soon, you threw a glance over your shoulder at the barman, who was already busy with someone else. 
Fearing for the woman’s life, you glanced at them only to notice that Childe was not even paying attention to her. During all this time, his eyes were fixated on you and his reactions. He keeps looking at you with those empty and dull eyes, or at least, that’s what they are supposed to be, because you could perceive something deeper inside of them that you couldn’t identify. 
With his elbow propped on the counter, his head resting on the palm of his hand, Childe tilted his head up when you made a gesture towards the barman, explaining the situation.
At the sound of your voice, he was unable to hide his smirk. He seemed to drink up every one of your words like honey, taking in every detail about you, feeling his legs bounce in excitement. Something was drawing him in, urging Childe to keep you close, touch you, and push every single one of those people away from you. 
Yet, he made an effort, and let you talk to the barman in peace. Still, Childe was annoyed that you didn’t just ask him to take care of that woman. 
His smirk turned even more disturbed when he saw the barman get around the counter and put the nuisance back in her place. The barman’s tone left no space for complaints, and she had to give up. More than entertained by the situation, Childe watched her walk away, not able to resist sending her a proud and mocking glance, seeming to crave a fight. 
And maybe also, he hated how she has been around you since you entered the bar. Thankfully, he did not have to take care of the group you were in before, since they were staying away. 
Now left completely alone together, you were surprised to not feel threatened by his presence, even while being this close to Childe. Yes, something definitely felt wrong, but Childe did not try anything yet and was acting rather friendly with you. In a certain way, you almost felt safe since he was here. 
While he was distracted by what just happened, you took the time to observe him carefully, as you did not have the time until now. In silence and without a care for anything else but him, you admire how perfectly realistic he was, based on the game’s information you knew. From his hair to his face, everything was similar and matching, except for a few details… such as the multiple small scars littering the side of his neck and face, along with the freckles all over his skin. 
Childe was absolutely beautiful, as alluring as intimidating. 
Observing him from head to toe, you notice the lack of his fatui mask and any design or symbol reminding you of his title. You admired his outfit, the gray putting all the spotlight on his hair and eyes, and you could not deny that he was intriguing and mysterious. His earring seemed to hypnotize you, despite not moving, it kept catching your attention every time you glanced up. 
It took you a few minutes to notice that Childe completely stopped moving, and when you looked up, you saw him smiling at you mockingly. The embarrassment of getting caught staring at him washed over you, the heat spreading through your chest. You were forced to look away, unable to maintain eye contact, as you finished your glass in one go to forget it. 
You could still feel his gaze on you, teasing you while feeling proud in a certain way. Wanting to distract him from your awkwardness, you made a sigh to the barman, asking him to serve the two same drinks. You hoped that Childe would just take the glass and leave, but at the same time, deep down, you wanted him to stay and enjoy his presence; Despite the fact that you weren’t supposed to interact with him in the first place. 
In a strange way, you had no idea how to act with Childe, his presence alone left you in a constant state of confusion and amazement. The bouncing of his legs attracted your attention, noticing how he was not relaxed at all, his body being tensed since earlier as if he was ready to jump. 
… Was he planning something? 
For an unknown reason, you suddenly felt really anxious, and you discreetly moved your chair away, not missing Childe’s hand trying to grab the side of your chair. Thankfully, at that same moment, the barman came back with two glasses, placing them in front of both of you. 
You planned to finish yours in one go, pay for the drinks immediately, and leave, but it seemed like Childe would not let you disappear that easily. As you took the money out, your wrist was gently pushed down against the counter and Childe paid for you, just in front of your face. You froze, dumbfounded, and the barman was just as surprised, but he took the money without a word. 
To say you were confused was an understatement. Sure, Childe was not always evil and planning something, but he was not an overly kind man paying for everybody. Especially since you were a stranger that weirdly and openly stared at him twice, brought him in trouble with an unknown woman, and is extremely awkward around him to the point it’s exceedingly suspicious. 
Though, he was not any less shady. The fact that he ended up in the same bar as you, sitting beside you on purpose, and seemed to be entertained by anything you did, was much worse than your own behavior. 
With a sigh, you just grabbed your drink and chucked it down, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. But when your throat started to painfully burn along with your tongue which seemed to be on fire, you rethink your life decisions, and your ability to think properly. 
You should have checked how strong the drink you ordered was, instead of just pointing to the first one you saw, because your throat definitely hates you now. And in addition to all the previous drinks you got, it may be the last straw to your sanity. Concealing your reaction to the painful sensation was a real challenge, you suddenly felt weird when you got up. 
Your head was spinning, heat spreading under your skin and your throat was begging for some relief. Before you could walk away, Childe ordered another set of drinking, patting your chair with a smile. That took you aback, you hesitated, but you were also curious about how the situation would turn out. You may be able to handle your alcohol quite well, usually at least, but you already drank a lot… You had no idea how much Childe could handle, and how many glasses you were away from getting drunk.
Your intoxicated mind discarded any warnings and worries, eyes not focusing on the shining red blade in his pocket, or the few drops of blood staining the bottom of his pants. Before you knew it, you were sitting down and letting Childe choose and order more drinks, one after the other. A little game also started between you, alternately choosing the next cocktail or strong alcohol you would share, testing the other’s taste and limits. 
After all, you were both foreigners… in a way, so you were mostly discovering. 
One from Snezhnaya, and the other from another world, just dreaming or hallucinating, and enjoying himself. This information seemed to fly out of your system, becoming just a useless detail that did not matter. 
Drink after drink, your tongues loosened, and you talked more or less freely to each other. With a nonexistent language barrier and no care for manners, or the fact that you were complete strangers, you speak more than you should. Enjoying yourselves as if you were long-time friends, exchanging life stories and some classified information. Childe even talked about the Fatui, mentioning the other Harbingers and details about their personalities, without saying their name. 
He even rambled about his family and the memories he shares with them, telling more about his little brothers and sister. Also mentioning how he hoped you could meet them one day. 
“I know they would adore you…”
The night went on, seeming to be endless, whenever he would stop talking, it was almost unconscious, but you would take over the rambling. Never were you bored or tempted to leave after that, Childe was a fantastic drinking buddy, you could give him that. 
Surprisingly, your good time was never interrupted by anyone. Especially by another person trying to flirt with you. With Childe by your side, most people did not dare to step any closer, and the crazy ones who were tempted to go frightened immediately. At least, his intimidating aura was useful, as it was guaranteeing you a peaceful and joyful night, so you couldn’t complain about it. 
Despite your more-than-tipsy state, you were not completely oblivious or unable to think, and conscious enough to avoid making any mistakes… such as using his name, as he never introduced himself properly, any details about his life or his friends, which would be the worst mistakes you could ever make. 
Until now, you are convinced that you never slipped up and would remain alive after this night. Or at least, you hoped you will. 
You have no idea how long you stayed with him, but when you looked outside the window, the moon was already high in the sky and most people left the bar. It was much calmer, the barman played relaxing music as most customers were too tired to dance and shout anymore, some were passed out, and the rest were talking calmly. 
With fewer people around you, Childe seemed to relax and not be on guard anymore, speaking in a charming voice while getting physically closer to you. 
Turns out Childe was not any better than the rest of the people who tried to hit on you tonight, and he was perhaps even worse as he was being sneaky about it. Though you could not deny that he was extremely attractive, and was not leaving you uninterested, as much as he was threatening. 
You noticed how he was slowly inching closer and closer, by either moving his chair or using the excuse of being too far to hear you, as if your legs weren’t almost touching. His eyes refused to separate from your figure, always looking at you up and down when he thought you weren’t looking. His eyes were so piercing it gave you the same sensation as if his hands were on you, or a knife. 
If a stare could burn, your entire body would be reduced to ashes by now. 
There was also the way his hand kept moving towards your leg, and when he was finally able to reach your knee, Childe could not help but move his hand up. The soft feeling of his thumb caressing the upper part of your thigh sends a delicious chill up your spine until they got too close to your crotch, but thankfully not crossing the line yet. 
Childe even suggested showing you around the city the next day, as it was your first time in Liyue Harbor. Proudly claiming that there was no better guide than him around the place. For him, that was overly nice. It confirmed all your doubts, something that was troubling from the start, the way Childe was so out of character. 
The way his dull blue eyes were turning brighter whenever he was looking at you, how they seemed to sparkle with mischief and some kind of heat. It was as if he was burning from the inside. This unusual glint shining through his eyes seemed to call for you, even more messing up with your mind. 
A good hour passed, and everyone around you was completely wasted, only you and Childe were still looking alive and breathing. He tried to offer you one more drink, but you knew it would be betting with the devil. You were feeling sick and hot earlier, now your organs turned to ashes and your throat was completely numb, even your taste buds got washed away. 
With a groan, you shook your head, claiming that it was over for the night, and you should both go home safe, and avoid being sick the next morning. His expression seemed to turn dark for a second, before going back to his friendly and easy personality. 
Knowing he could be able to convince you to stay more if he insisted, you got up immediately, leaving your half-full glass on the counter. Playing enough mora down to pay for the last drinks Childe did not pay yet, you thanked the barman and went away. You couldn’t help but give Childe a victorious smile when the barman took the money before he could do anything. 
When you noticed how he swayed while getting up, you couldn’t conceal your chuckle, helping him to get up. Grabbing him by the arm when he stumbled to the left, stabilizing him, he completely face-planted into your chest. You held him until you were certain he could walk correctly, leaving the bar together and bidding him goodbye immediately, preventing him to say anything. 
He seemed really disappointed as he grabbed your shoulder, bringing you closer as he suggested walking home together, but you refused again. The tension in the air increased and then disappeared just as quickly. With a sigh, Childe nodded and gave you a weak smile, waving as you walked away. 
But what was suspicious and confusing, was when you turned into an alley… and he was still standing there, watching over you with a weird look in his eyes.
Your suspicion was confirmed when you heard footsteps behind you, light enough, so a drunk person could not perceive them. Unfortunately for Childe, you knew how to act drunk pretty well, and you were certainly not stupid enough to just get wasted with a complete stranger, which you were aware was dangerous on top of that. 
You tried to remain calm, ignoring the way he was sneaking behind you as if he was your shadow, hiding whenever you seemed to slow down or get distracted. For now, he wasn't making a move to attack you, but you couldn't relax while knowing he could be planning to kill you. 
It was confusing, as you were certain you made no mistake, so he had no reason to act this way. With each step, you were trembling and hoping he would give up, and you almost had a heart attack when someone came out of a nearby alley, which was completely dark. 
The person apologized when they saw your frightened expression, their voice, and face seems familiar, but you were too tense to pay more attention. Reassuring the person that everything was already, you walked away quickly without wasting a second, putting as much distance as possible between Childe and you. 
It turned out to be useless, as within a few seconds, he was already back behind you. Powerless, you let him follow you, slowly and creepily. Knowing it would not work to just run away as fast as you could, you focused all your attention on finding a way to trick him. 
When finally, a dumb idea but possibly your best option sneaked its way into your head.
You kept moving, purposely slowing down or making it seems like you couldn't walk in a straight line. You took two breaks on the way, so you could focus on your breathing and trying to stay calm. You wanted to make sure you wouldn't panic, but also test if he was going to jump on you the second you stop walking.
And despite the numerous times when you were in a vulnerable situation, he didn't do anything, so you assumed that he was going to follow you to the place you were staying at. Which, wasn't good news either.
When you reached the hotel, the receptionist was not there, unfortunately, so you had to keep going. You had hoped for a moment that someone would be here, and they could help you hide, but luck was not on your side. You would be by yourself, definitely, with Childe coming for you.
You acknowledged how his footsteps seemed to be farther away, as he was surely analyzing the environment, and see if he could get noticed. So you took it as an opportunity to walk faster up the stairs, hoping it would give you some time to set up your backup plan, since you had no one you could ask for help to.
Reaching your room, you unlocked the door before closing it behind you, without locking it again, knowing Childe could break it down easily if he wanted to. You had some time ahead of you, since you rushed up the stairs, and he will surely keep being as careful as he was before, so it gives you a few minutes.
Since you were drunk, not locking the door could pass as a mistake in your intoxicated state. And also, in case he really breaks in, it could explain why you did not wake up while he tried to enter, since he made no sound. If he were to kick the door open, even drunk, it would be suspicious if you weren't woken up by the noise. And that would ruin your plan.
That was risky, but it could also work out well for you.
As you went through the small apartment, you purposely made more racket, as a drunk person would, bumping into furniture, and leaving your shoes in the middle of the corridor.
While doing so, you also pushed one of the pieces of furniture in the living room near the corner, so you could have a space to hide in. The shadow should cover you, and with the angle, if the door gets open, it should not reveal your location.
You moved audibly for a few more minutes, taking pillows from the living room and putting them under the blanket on your bed. You hoped it would trick him if Childe never turn the light on, and he would take some time to understand it was not you. Finally, you turned all the lights off, and closed the door of your bedroom, as it was the only one making a sound when it moved, Childe could guess you went inside there last.
Then, you walked discreetly towards the little hiding spot you made, glad your socks were concealing the sound of your footsteps.
Back in the small living room, you sat down in the corner, hiding behind the largest furniture of in the room, as it covered most of your build when you forced your knees against your chest. Exhaling and inhaling deeply, you slowed down your breathing and tried to relax as much as you could, holding the rolling pin you found in the kitchen.
With apprehension, you keep an eye on the door, convinced that Childe would try to enter the apartment soon enough.
It seemed like you were right as after long and tense minutes of pure silence, you heard the handle crack as it was moved down.
Instead of immediately entering, Childe waited and was making sure that you were actually sleeping, listening to see if there was any noise, or anyone coming from the stairs. When he was sure the coast is clear, he hoped the door opened silently, and the light coming from the corridor shone through the room.
Thankfully, it was not bright and strong enough to reveal your hiding spot. Still, you forced yourself to not make any movements, as you feared getting his attention now. You had to stay still for a little longer, and everything would go well, at least you hope it will.
The quiet steps of the 11th Harbinger were resonating through the almost empty room, slow and calculated, recognizing the person that killed and surely has done many disgusting and morally reprehensible acts.
The soft taps were getting closer, almost in the middle of the room now, and he stepped forward a little more, he could have seen you. But instead, he went towards your bedroom door. There was no doubt that he knew exactly where he was going, as he murmured under his breath which room was behind each door.
There were three closed doors, but he knew precisely what they were leading to, and it made a chill go up your spine.
It was not a coincidence, perhaps never was.
Childe pushed the door of your bedroom open, and it was soundless this time, even if you were in there, you wouldn't have heard him at all.
There were three footsteps, and suddenly, he stopped moving. Was he waiting to see if you were still asleep?
You could hear his breath, the sudden deep inhale before he held it, certainly trying to listen for any suspicious noise. Despite being convinced that he was being really discreet and careful, he needed to make sure. When he was certain, he moved forward, each step being more cautious than the other, avoiding any misstep.
Suddenly, everything went silent.
You stood up as soundlessly as you could and tiptoed towards the bedroom, slowly hearing Childe's breath in a clear way, noticing how ragged it was. You took a quick glance inside the room and saw him standing there, motionless, a few steps away from your bed.
The pillows under the cover seemed good enough to trick him. It was completely dark in the apartment, so it was certainly why he didn't understand the sham yet. Thankfully for you, your eyes adapted to the luminosity after a few long minutes, so you could see almost perfectly.
You were aware it would not last much longer, so you did not waste one more second. Moving immediately, he seemed to sense it instantly, as the sudden motion startled Childe and made him jump. Unfortunately, you were already behind him, as nothing was standing between you to slow you down.
Without thinking, on the full impulse of wanting to save yourself, you wrapped your hands around Childe's neck. Despite his athletic build, his neck was small, almost delicate under your hands, you could feel his pulse speed up under your palms.
His hands shot up instantly without any hesitation as he grabbed your wrist, and your thumbs were digging into his skin. To break free, you felt his grip tightening around your own rapidly. His body was heating up, panic and unaccustomed fear taking over his system, he was suffocating.
Choking him, you refrained to tighten your hold too much, not wanting to kill him but simply knocking him out. It was weirdly pleasing and enjoyable to feel someone collapsing because of you, the faint pulse and breath after he stops wrestling.
A few seconds ago, he was trying to grab your arms, kick your legs or your knee in the hope you would let him go, but he reacted too late to defend himself. Most of his strength left him rapidly, and with the height difference, along with the fact that you grabbed him from behind, he was unable to do anything.
Childe heard you murmur something in his ear, and that's when he finally recognized your voice and touch. Almost gently, he felt your grip loosen, and then, a hard object made contact with the back of his head.
Now that you were supposedly safe, you observed Childe’s limp body. With the force you used, you were certain that he should be knocked out for a little while without a doubt. For the first time today, you could sit down and really think about what was happening, sorting out your thoughts. 
In a way, you knew from the start that something like this could happen, even if you tried to convince yourself of the opposite. Too many things were suspicious from the start, both in his behavior towards you and the way he was acting with others. A certain thing was still unclear though, what were his real intentions? 
Has he been planning to kill you from the start, or do something else to you? Was he usually flirting to make his next target more comfortable around him and lower their guard? That could be a possibility… This was really confusing for your poor intoxicated brain, it was already such luck that you could handle this alcohol well, or else, who knows what could have happened to you. 
For now, you could only wait. As Childe knows the area much better than you, running away would only give you more time, but would not save you in the long term. This man was not the kind of person to give up on his prey, even if he had to destroy a city to catch his prey, he would. So, he would chase after you until you give up or die. 
Ultimately, it was the same to stay here with him or leave. And perhaps, before the end of this dream, you could understand what he was thinking. 
You went around the room, searching for anything that could be useful. Despite going through everything, you didn't manage to find something useful, until you opened a drawer. Inside was thin iron wire, surely there in case it was needed if something was misfunctioning inside the room, but you weren't going to use it the way it was made for. Disregarding the fact that it could really hurt him, you tied him to the bed, making sure to block his wrists and ankles correctly without it being too tight unless he moves.
When you were sure everything was secure, you search into his clothes to take away any weapons he had. But surprisingly, he didn't have anything on him, not even a small knife, which was suspicious since you were almost certain you saw something shiny and sharp inside his pocket. Unlike what you thought, he really was empty-handed, the only thing on him was a large amount of Mora.
Checking once again, and another time again, he really had nothing on him, which was weird for someone that was literally following home a few minutes ago. Just thinking about it, you felt anxious and had the irrepressible urge to tighten Childe's restraints again, only to be sure it was safe.
In silence, you grabbed a chair and placed it on the opposite side of the room, out of reach. For now, you were dead tired, especially after drinking so much, and you could only think about having a break. Without wasting much time, you left your bedroom and locked the door, you went to the bathroom to get rid of this foul odor of alcohol and sweat. The anxiousness and exhaustion made you be much quicker than usual, and you were back inside the bedroom within a short few minutes.
Fearing the possibility of being exhausted when Childe wake up and try to break free, you took the decision of sleeping now. Sat on the uncomfortable chair, your back complaining about the hard wood that was digging into your shoulder blade. You felt your eyelids grow heavier in an instant, the long night catching up on you as you fell asleep, your neck already complaining about the horrible position you were in.
Despite the way your brain shut off in an instant, your instincts of survival and the fear of being harmed made you unable to rest properly. At every little sound, whether it was inside or outside the room, you would jump awake, checking if Childe moved. Your mind was on high alert, always ready to protect yourself.
The night grow deeper, moonlight shining through the opened window. It was calm outside, letting you for at least a few minutes rest in peace and quiet. Only the sounds of drunkards going home, cats meowing and fighting, or the sounds of flapping wings through the dormant sky could be heard.
Two hours passed, the night has grown deeper and darker. It was silent, calming, and resting, until a small creaky noise was heard, followed closely by a deep groan. Right away, your eyes had shot open, falling onto the waking-up man tied up on the bed. He was slowly coming back to his senses, everything rushing to him at once, along with his memories of what happened.
In a disguised panic, hidden under sleepiness and fake confidence, Childe blinked rapidly as he tried to move his arms and legs. The thin iron wire cut into his skin like butter, each of his action making the restraints more harmful, so he stopped all motion. His position in these circumstances was clear, even more when he slowly looked up towards the ceiling, and saw you from the corner of his eyes, sitting on a chair and glaring at him.
Childe was aware that this situation should not make his heart beat incredibly faster in his chest, but he could not help it. His heartbeat has never been this fast, and he could feel himself sweat in fear and excitement.
Instead of possibly worsening your opinion of him, Childe opted to stay silent, only watching you, observing you like a hawk to find a weakness. And so, you were the one who broke the tense silence.
“What were you planning to do?”
With everything happening, you had absolutely no idea of what to say. The fact that Childe didn't try to break free did reassure you a little, but it didn't mean that you were safe, far from it, actually. In your mind, you were convinced that Childe was planning to harm you, or kill, which were terribly similar in the end when you know this character.
Without much of a surprise, your question remained unanswered. Despite the position he was in, it wasn't unexpected that Childe would not tell you why he was here and what he was planning. The silence grow tenser, Childe had the time to come back to his senses completely, much faster than any other human, as he had regained his full focus and composure.
With the quietness of the room engulfing you, a feeling of anger bubbled inside you, as he didn't acknowledge your presence anymore or even tried anything. With a sigh, you scratched your nape, looking at him as your blood slowly boiled until you had enough.
You stood up, the chair pushed back and falling at your sudden movement in a loud sound. Within seconds, you were next to him, your hand slamming onto the bed just next to his head as you demanded him to answer your question. The sudden action made Childe react, and he turned his head towards you, dull eyes plunging into yours. Instead of a possible glacial glare, you were met by something highly different.
What you expected to be an attitude proving you that your life will be done for in the next minutes, and showing his internalized murderous intent was such a different expression and look. Childe's cheeks were a soft shade of red, almost unnoticeable with the freckles covering his face. His ears were redder though, and very noticeable as his hair was not long enough to hide them.
Definitely not trying to cover it, Childe have a little excited grin on his face, thin rosy lips stretched out as his cheeks became just a little redder. In a smooth motion, he wet his lips, clearing his throat when you grow a bit distracted. Under his confidence was a mischievous look, like he was planning something but not as bad as you thought it was.
His eyes were fixated on you, dull eyes growing a bit warmer but still cold as ice. His pupils were dilated to an abnormal extent, almost completely swallowing the harsh blue, left in a thin circle. They were somewhat begging, trying to get something out of you, and were sending you a particular looks that you couldn't comprehend yet.
It took you some long seconds, and by observing him more closely, it hits you suddenly. Childe actually never gave off any murderous intent, but it was actually a curious and excited look he has been giving you the whole time. Because the eyes he had now, were the same he was showing you inside the bar, and also the same when you met him for the first time while entering Liyue after days of traveling.
It seems like you mistook his intentions towards you from the start, everything you thought could be a sign of being threatened, was utterly different from what you imagined. Yet, it could erase the fact that he followed you to your hotel, and broke into your rented apartment, so there was still something fishy about him.
This time, you take the time to observe him correctly, noticing how his back was slightly arching off the bed despite having nothing forcing him to, the way his fingers curled up anxiously, the back of his head pushed against the pillow, and the way he was strangely rubbing his thighs together.
And then, another detail hits you. It was how his tight gray pants were hiding absolutely nothing of his excitation, and the position Childe was in left him powerless and unable to cover himself.
Despite realizing this, you can't help but be uncomfortable and tense around him. There was this feeling at the back of your throat, the same one that was pooling at the bottom of your stomach… This fear mixed with a certain attraction that shouldn't be there.
Whether you were in a dream or not, what just happened was terrifying, and you were still a bit frightened. Your attraction for the Childe in your dream was caused by the character that you knew, the fanon one, and not the devilishly scaring one currently in your hotel room. You were aware that Childe was not a good man, after all, he possibly tried to get you drunk, he definitely broke into your hotel room after following you for a few long minutes into the deserted streets.
Even in the case that Childe was not planning to kill you, it was still alarming to be in this situation. You were certain that even if something bad happened to you, it was a dream, so you would just wake up, there was some anxiousness left in you.
Instead of panicking more and potentially make your dream end with a terrible fate, you decided to calm down. You walked out of the room, after checking if Childe was still tightly restrained, and then, took deep breaths in and out. Counting in your head, you slowly made your heart rate go down, along with a part of your anxiety.
It took you a few more minutes to get mentally ready to go back inside the bedroom. What you absolutely wanted, was answers on why Childe followed you here, and since you were still in a position of power, this was the perfect opportunity. At worse, if nothing goes well, you could still leave the hotel early and then, travel again to one of the other cities.
After taking a finally deep inhalation, you opened the door again, and went inside.
Childe was still in the same state you left him in, which was reassuring. You stood next to the bed, at an arm length from it, and stared at Childe which looked back at you, his eyes not moving from your face.
When you asked the same question again, about what he was planning to do by coming here, he did not stay silent this time. Childe was facing you without any shame or guilt, seeming really relaxed for someone who got caught the way he was. With a strong and confident voice, Childe said that he just wanted to observe you and spend the night here.
His lack of shame was impressive. Everything was silent for some seconds, and then, he continued to talk. More lowly this time, he explained that he felt something earlier that day when he saw you. It was the kind of feeling he had when he was going to face an enemy stronger than him or someone that could reveal to be exciting in the future.
This explanation sounded so strange and out of nowhere. Yet, from his tone and the look in his eyes, it was clear that Childe was not lying to you, or trying to deceive you. This made no sense, since you were just a basic person, but you decided to just put this on the fact that this is not reality and not everything would always make sense. Until now, you noticed nothing out of ordinary, at least for a world in Genshin, so it was the first time an item or character lacked of sense.
You froze for a moment, completely confused on what to do. Should you just forget what happened, act as if it was nothing more than a weird event in a crazy dream? Should you try to call the authorities, despite perfectly knowing that here, they can't do anything against the Fatui? There was no good option or one guaranteeing your satisfaction.
Even if you untie him and let him go, nothing was telling you that Childe would not come back soon. He could seven come back this same night if he wanted to.
An awful and horrible went through your mind was a short instant… a bloody option that you couldn't even dare to name. Were you already losing your mind? You had no idea how such a terrifying idea came to your mind so suddenly, and it scared you. There was no way that you could have really just imagined harming and possibly kill someone by yourself.
With a heavy and resigned sigh, you decide to let him go.
In the end, you concluded that what you choose to do would not matter, since if it was really a dream or hallucination, it could not impact you directly. Yet, something in the back of your mind was telling you that you were being careless, having already decided nothing here existed for real without any proof.
Maybe it was a way to protect yourself, by convincing yourself that it was not real. Or maybe a trick from your brain, a defense mechanism to keep you more or less sane. There were so many options but so little want to explore the darkest and mind-confusing possibilities. For now, it was better to consider this world has an imagination of your mind while your body rested.
Childe's eyes followed you as you walked closer to him, placing a knee at the end of the bed, so you could be steady while untying his ankles. The thin iron wire didn't tighten too much, so it wasn't too difficult to take it off, and the sharp metal didn't cut into Childe's skin when he tried to free himself the first time.
He seemed surprised by your choice, but not dissatisfied by it in any way. To make the process of untying him easier, he relaxed his body, so the wire wouldn't get stuck into his skin and make everything more painful. His two ankles were free of movement, but he didn't do move them, staying calm and motionless.
When you told him that the second he was free, he had to leave immediately, he frowned but didn't complain, just nodding silently. There was a little glint of mischief when he looked at you, and a strangely strong hint of embarrassment, but you ignored it.
Carefully, you moved to the middle of the bed, so you could be able to take off the wire about Childe's right wrist. This one was much more challenging than the ankles, as they were much tighter and had started to dig a little into his skin, small red droplets running down his arm to his elbow, before touching the sheets of the bed.
You had to be careful and meticulous to be able to get it off, but you managed to do it with minor damage after a few long minutes. Then, it was the time to do it for the other wrist. Unfortunately, with the bed being pushed against the wall, you couldn't just walk to the other side as you had to climb directly onto the bed.
You cussed under your breath when you understood what you needed to do, as you sighed and went on with it. Kneeling on the bed, you leaned forward to reach Childe's wrist while trying to maintain some distance. With this position, you could feel and see his body just under you perfectly, but you forced your eyes to stay focus on the task at hand, and not travel down.
Despite not doing anything to him, Childe let out a sudden gasp, the sound turned almost whiny at the end. You didn't think much of it, until it happened again after you moved to the right to get a better angle of view and see what you were doing with your hands exactly.
Frozen on the spot, you glanced down at him in confusion. Your eyes ran even lower, trying to see what could be bothering Childe this much. And they fell upon a surprising scene that you did not think about. While leaning more and more forward to reach the thin iron wire tightly wrapped around the man's wrist, you forgot a small detail… which was that if you keep moving upward, your knee that is holding you up will meet with Childe's body.
And that's how you find yourself in your current situation, with your hands on Childe's wrist, your body hovering over his as he's still tied up to the bed, and your knee pushing against his crotch. For a few minutes now, your knee has been rubbing against Childe's private area, which was now pretty awake as you could see his obvious boner.
The realization hits you, and you stop everything you were doing, freezing completely, you were almost reluctant to breathe at this point. Your chest was burning, but it was confusing if it was because of embarrassment or a kind of attraction for your current predicament.
Childe didn't look any better. His cheeks were a flaming red, highlighting his harmonious freckles, the way he got flustered but also turned on was so obvious. Out of anxiety, he wets his lips, looking at the thigh between his legs, still not moving from there, the pressure still presents against his bulge.
Seconds passed in a tense silence, both of you judging the situation and trying to understand what was going to happen next. You were both waiting for the other one to move, so you were stuck in this awkward but exciting situation. After all, the physical attraction was there, but it didn't mean that you were forgetting what happened before, and your guard was still up.
Though, you couldn't have expected Childe to react this way. Instead of moving away, or telling you to step back, he got even closer. The first motion was a light try, the second was more daring and bold, the third was filled with certitude and want.
Childe had started to roll his hips against your thigh, shamelessly grinding against your knee, small sounds escaping him when he rolled at a certain angle. All by himself, not waiting anymore for your reaction, he was getting himself off by using you. The fact that his wrist was still tied to the bed seemed to have flown out the window as he started to find the perfect pace.
Entertained by his movement that seemed more and more hypnotic, you watch in amazement as his pants tightened even more, his legs slightly shaking under the effort and in such an uncomfortable position. His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes narrowed as he was focusing, his lips pressed tightly together and body trembling. You didn't particularly want to admit it but… he looked good, crazily good.
His usual composure had started to break down, his control slipping away. You understood his patience was running thin when Childe sped up, and he was now desperately grinding onto your thigh, the front of his gray pants turning a slight shade darker. The whine he let out when he felt your muscles tense under him was exquisite, caressing your ear in the most perfect and sensual way.
His lips parted as he took a short breath in, small moans and quiet whines were pouring out of his mouth with less control than before, dancing and breaking the silence of the room, drowning out the loud beating of your heart.
He wasn't completely free of his restraints yet, and the wire around his left wrist keeps becoming tighter, cutting into his skin as more bloody droplets fell down. Yet, he seemed to like it, groaning when it becomes tighter, and he was trying to glare at you whenever you made a move to take it off. It wasn't really convincing in this situation, but you let it on anyway.
Childe picked up the pace, now humping your thigh in a desperate and messy way, his muscles tensing and his body shuddering in delight. Just like his pace, his sounds became more frequent and loud, resonating through the room in an agreeable manner, his sharp inhale of air and smaller noises creating the perfect harmony. Between his sounds of pleasures, whines and mewls, Childe seemed to reach a certain high. And in a gesture to keep himself grounded, his hand grabbed yours, needing any sort of contact right now, and especially with you. His grip tightened around you, almost crushing your bones in the process.
His hips that slid in a smooth motion started to flatter, the rhythm sped up, losing itself as Childe grew close, closer to this intense pleasure. He didn't beg for it, but just took what he wanted without asking, he was demanding, and you were supposed to give.
Yet, just before Childe could experience his orgasm, you moved away. It ended quickly, one instant Childe could feel it coming inside his gut, and the next, you had stepped off the bed and the sensation disappeared with you. Too out of it, he didn't realize immediately what happened, as his body was still chasing after a sensation he couldn't feel by himself, and he humped the air pathetically much to your amazement.
The pitiful sound he lets out when he realized that you moved away and off the bed went straight down to your cock, and the imprint on your pants only managed to torment Childe even further. When his body motions came to a stop, he was quick to get on his knees and move towards you and touch you… if it was not for the iron wire around his wrist. The same one that he refused you to take off, was now something he desperately wanted out of his way.
Childe tried to use sheer strength to get rid of it, but the way the wire was turned onto itself and around the pale skin made it impossible. The only result would be to end up cutting through his skin, and he wasn't thinking well enough to try taking it off with his free hand. Though, nothing was guaranteeing that he would succeed this way. Immobilized and weak in the knees, his legs having fallen asleep from laying in the same position for so long, he wasn't able to move as well as he wished to.
In front of such a view, you couldn't hide the smirk growing onto your face, the satisfaction of getting some kind of answer, finally. The desperation of Childe was much deeper than you expected or could ever think of, the fear subduing, almost completely disappearing to give some space to a more sadistic and uncaring part of yourself.
To say Childe was looking pitiful was an understatement. The strong Harbinger had his face flushed in a beautiful rosy pink, his thin lips getting plumper after each bite of his own teeth digging into the soft skin. Your eyes were dancing between the view of those glossy eyes, eyelashes wet and clumping together, his bottom lash line threatening to let the tears run down freely onto his freckles-covered cheeks.
Your eyes danced lower, admiring the way his body flexed, his muscles trembling under the sharp observation and the need to have his thirst quenched. Under the gray jacket, you can see his abdominal clenching, muscles tightening in an attempt to keep his body from giving up. His scarf fall on the floor as he tries to free himself once again, and your gaze land on his belt and his pants. The gray fabric seems expensive, and as you examine his legs slightly shaking from the effort of maintaining his current position, you notice the dark spot on the front of his pants.
The fabric was stained at an obvious location, the spot growing slowly darker and larger, the spot expanding as time passed. You were amused by Chides apparent arousal, as evidenced by his twitching cock inside his pants, the tight cloth not able to conceal the visible bulge.
With a mocking tone, you speak once again, your voice sounding more confident and meaner than before, as you weren't feeling intimidated by Childe's behavior and aura anymore.
"So… That's what you came for.
You wanted to get fucked."
Those words made Childe freeze, his eyes widening as he tried to deny your claim, and he knew perfectly well that you weren't completely wrong. Coughing from the shock, he shakes his head, and start to babble something inaudible, his words melting together in an incoherent speech. His explanation was messy, he couldn't find his words, and he was getting more flustered as the seconds passed.
Your amused grin widening at the display, he sounded like he was going to give up on the lies soon, and just admit for what he really came here for, following you like a creep. His ears and neck were flushed in a rosy pink, but when he looked up, the look in his eyes was sharp, unashamed. As politely as he could, he asked you to untie his hand, promising that he won't run away or try to do you any harm.
The request made you raise your eyebrow, not trusting him in the slightest despite his lack of aggressiveness. After some seconds of tense silence, you sighed and ended up agreeing. Either way, you were planning to free him earlier before he started his little show, so it would be stupid and illogical to deny his request now. You kneeled over the bed again, trying to not touch him this time, as you managed to untie the wire without much trouble or pain.
Standing up from the bed and away from Childe, you expected him to leave immediately after the embarrassing view he gave you. Instead, with his legs still shaking a little, he moved to the edge of the bed where you were seated previously and raised onto his knees. Before you could be too far, he grabbed your shoulders with a strong grip, his strength not surpassing yours but still strong enough to have an impact. He wrapped his arms around your neck, forcing you to stay close and within reach of his body.
This position was really unstable, both for him as his knees were maintaining his entire balance and you, because of his arms dragging you down to let his arms find a comfortable position, the height difference being obvious. Without thinking, your hands were placed on his waist, keeping the both of you stable and in a position that wasn't breaking your back.
This action made Childe chuckle, the surprisingly sweet and deep sound fell directly onto your ear as his head was resting near your shoulder. The fact that you stabilized him and didn't let him fall alone by moving back made Childe feel satisfied and more confident in what he was doing. His hands wander down your neck to your back, resting on your shoulder blades before following the hollow along the spine.
The smirk on his face widen, eyes running along your silhouette in a hasty manner, as if it was going to end in an instant. Something has grabbed his attention since he woke up, despite the situation he was in, it caught his eyes almost instantly. He couldn't help but question himself on why you seem so distant, not towards him, but towards everything. It was as if you were considering everything around you, items and people, as nonexistent, a kind of hallucination you couldn't get rid of.
Something was weird about you, and it was oddly attractive. There was something about you that Childe could not ignore, his mind telling him that you were someone important in one way or another. It was captivating this unusual aura about you that he never felt before. In a way, it was similar to the feeling he had when he met Aether, but here, it was much stronger to the point it was suffocating him.
Childe knew that he had to stay close, watch the events unfold. And if on the way, he ends up getting a bit more attached than he should, he didn't really mind. After following you around for the entire day, he found out that staying away from you for too long only made his mind go into a state of alert. He continued to trail you, each of your expression seeming strange to him, the way you talked to people or looked at them, the way you seemed so lost.
Noticing that he was getting lost in his thoughts, he shakes his head and focus on the person in front of him again. You had the same weird look on your face again, and it was annoying him. He needed. he wanted you to look at him with emotions, feelings, the same look of recognition when your eyes met for the first time.
He seemed to himself, observing you, bathing in the feelings of fabrics and skin under his fingertips. Jolts of electricity running through his hands at each contact, a sensation of power coursing through his veins, it was exhilarating. Childe could even feel his vision activating, and it was so different from usually, as his entire body could feel the element running inside it, his delusion lightening up too.
It took him a few long seconds to get used to the sensation before regaining his composure. With a controlled voice, Childe finally decided to answer your question, each of his words being completely honest and true. He was aware that there was no point in lying now, as it would only make you more on guard and tensed around him.
"I was curious."
Childe's sharp eyes were dissecting your entire being, seeming to read your mind as his voice showed how much confidence and control he had. He felt like you were standing on equal footing, and the discussion could only go forward to an ending he would enjoy.
"I felt something when we met at the border of Liyue.
I needed to make sure I wasn't imagining things, so I followed you.
And I also can't get you out of my mind, so I have no remorse."
Childe's sudden sincerity took you by surprise. Both this and the way his hands grazed over your body as if you were a masterpiece send a strange feeling to your core. His fingertips delicately stroked the small scars you acquired from fighting with the hilichurls.
At first, it was just curiosity, Childe looking and observing you as if you were someone completely different. And to be honest, you were staring at him the same way, so you couldn't really complain or argue about it, even though the fact that he was touching you was weird. It only made you question even more what was happening to you and where you were exactly, if you got everything wrong since the start.
His touches grow more slow, sensual. Childe was exploring your body over the fabric of your clothes, now making it clear that he had something else in mind, his grin turning into a smirk. The sensations he was experiencing made him unable to stop his hands from wandering, a hushed whimper leaving his mouth as the size difference became much more obvious. The size of his hand letting him compare how much longer or larger some of your body parts were next to his.
A warm smile appeared on his face, a look of satisfaction and newfound thirst. If he didn't want to do anything sexual with you, now he definitely wanted to. His body did not relax since the pleasure he experienced earlier, and Childe would not be against having some fun with you, now that he was here and has been found sneaking around. The only thing he has to do, was to tempt you and make you give in.
Childe may be with the Fatui and a so-called villain by many people, he was not going to start anything without your consent, now that his mind was out of the gutter. Thankfully for him, he noticed that his attention and the motion of his hands weren't leaving you unresponsive. Your eyes held a flame that was threatening to consume him wholly, and he would not complain in the slightest, especially not when your presence made his body feel regenerated and so powerful.
The temptation was strong, you had no real reason to push Childe away, and your mind or heart was telling you to stay, to accept the wordless offer. You could see Childe's grin widen as your resolve started to crumble, your body relaxing and his hands dancing down your back to slide under your shirt, enjoying the skin-to-skin contact.
Something inside of you was urging you to stop thinking, ignore all the possibilities and worst outcomes, and just sink into this distorted and fake reality. The want to ravish him grows stronger, mental restraints breaking one after the other, and you wanted to give in just once. This kind of realistic dream doesn't happen every night, and the want to just go with the flow was more tempting than any other of your logical thinking.
It's as if your brain has completely shut down, with no thoughts managing to stay long enough to be processed. All your worries melted away like snow in the sun, any warnings your mind tried to give you were erased, and any rules you tried to respect to protect yourself and your mental health were broken in an instant. Only the indecent part of yourself and your imagination was functioning at its full capacity, crushing anything that remained.
The atmosphere had a sudden switch, from an awkward and tense sensation to the room feeling hotter, the air is more heavy and hot as it enters your lungs. It was hard to swallow or to look away from the man in front of you, and it was just as impossible for him to not stare and take in the pleasant tension.
Childe felt it just as much as you, his body tense up under the way you stare at him. His knees pushed onto the mattress, his arm holding onto you strongly, testing the fabric of your shirt. Your grip on his waist tightened, his pale skin bruising under the strength, his soft yet scarred skin melted between your fingers. His body is so cold compared to yours, it felt like ice under your fingertips, and a slight touch from a warmer body could turn him to liquid.
The control of the situation is slipping through his fingers, the pressure, and tension making his heart race. He already what is going to happen, he's going to get devoured and there's no way Childe will be able to fight back. And he definitely did not want to fight back, he is ready to endure it with all his body and soul.
Your hands moved lower, caressing his lower back, moving onto his hips, and then, grabbing his thighs. He was firmly holding onto you, even when he felt himself being hoisted up, his knees not touching the mattress anymore, his legs dangling in the air for some seconds.
His back landed on the bed, bouncing once and plopping down without moving anymore, slightly confused by what just happened. Being manhandled easily like a rag doll made his cheeks flush, as he was far from used to anyone even daring to do this, but Childe was not against something new. Laying limp on the soft sheets, he gives up on the control of the situation, and he started to truly enjoy it.
Not even a kiss was exchanged, nothing of that sort was happening. The urgency and the need were speaking, far more loudly than anything else. Hands were quick, hips raising to facilitate every move, Childe was quickly left in his underwear. His clothes were discarded and sent flying inside the room in an unknown direction, it was a mess. Everything happened in a blink of an eye, first falling on his back, fully clothed and slightly excited, to a second instant, almost fully naked and put on all fours.
Your hands followed the slight arch of his back, moving gently to the side to take in every curve and wound, feeling every small and bigger ones that hadn't healed yet. Childe's body was a battlefield, not a spot has been left untouched, whether it was a bullet, a wound from an arrow, a sword, or skin burned by surely a pyro vision holder. Gently, you caress them with your fingertips, more by curiosity than any worry or care for him, but you still remain careful about them.
At each contact of your warmer skin against his, Childe could feel his heart skip a beat, the air seeming to get stuck in his throat. With trembling hands, they get lost on your upper back, his body enjoying more than enough of the simple sensation of your somewhat calm touch. Your contact with him was purely physical, trying to quench a thirst, but Childe couldn't help but have the necessity of feeling your lips pressing against his own.
When you lean closer, your breath hit his neck, and his heart went into overdrive, thinking you might kiss him. Yet it's your teeth that greeted him, digging into his skin, pulling and biting until the area was sore. It was so frustrating but understandable at the same time, there was nothing between the two of you, except your curiosity and need, and Childe's weird pull of his heart and mind when it comes to you.
His arms shook at the sensation of your hand wrapped around his wrists, moving them upward, only to put them over his head and push them into the mattress. Your intentions were clear as you grabbed the remaining of iron wire, put his hand behind his back, and blindly tied his wrist together. The slender but mentally heavy restrain felt somewhat reassuring and agreeable to Childe, despite how it painfully forced his shoulder backward and pulled on his forearms.
In such a position, Childe could not hold his body up correctly without damaging his back or shoulders, and his core tightened as much as possible to remain still even without his arms supporting his weight. It didn't last long as he admitted defeat and let himself fall forward, his head into the pillow, his ass pushed up and grazing against your crotch.
Your fingers danced over his skin, moving up into they were lost in his hair, pushing his head down into the pillow. The sudden and strong tug at his scalp made Childe moan, the sound ripping out of his throat as he gasped, the pillow swallowing his noises. It was hard to breathe properly. You kept him there, still caressing his skin with your other hand, and when you feel him shake more, you yank him back up. From his expression and opened mouth allowing small groans out, Childe was enjoying himself, the lack of air only making him harder within his underwear.
Heavy and deep inhales could be heard, before he was pushed down once again. His body would tense and relax without control, a slight whine thanking you when your fingers played with the locks of lighter color, running through his hair and massaging his scalp. In an instant, the tension left his body, as his mind relaxed and his eyelids grow heavier, Childe was completely at your mercy physically and psychologically.
The bed dipped as your knees went on either side of his hips, looming over him in a menacing yet delicious manner. Your shadow was swallowing Childe wholly, giving him the unfamiliar feeling of being powerless, it was thrilling to the point he doubted his heart wasn't going to stop beating suddenly.
Still holding onto his hair, you thought it was time to move on to something much more interesting and entertaining as you grow impatient. You dig your nails into his skin, leaving red marks as your hand rushes down, ignoring the pain it could give him as they racked over recent scars and wounds. The light burn sends spikes of pleasure to Childe, a whine of pain and delight passing through his teeth when your nail caught onto a crust formed over a wound.
The roughness of your touch was welcomed warmly, his hips pushing back against yours, pleading that you speed up the pace. Childe's teeth stabbed into the pillow when you reached his lower back, now creating a path of red pulsing marks on his sides, hips, and finally, thighs. Massaging the soft flesh, you went up to his ass, kneading it until you reached the waist bad.
You waited for Childe to move his hips again or say a word before tugging it down, having to push his hips down flat onto the bed, so you were able to correctly take it off. Left helpless and exposed, Childe did not feel embarrassed in the slightest, it was not the first time it happened, and even though the roles were reversed, it was nothing he was against. He let you guide his body, grabbing his legs to lift him up further up the bed and give you more space to work with.
Your large hands fully held onto his thighs, using the position to spread his legs apart to gain access. The cold air of the room hit him suddenly, and his legs closed around your hands suddenly, only for Childe to pry them open again by himself, allowing the tight grip you had onto them. You watched with amusement as his hole clenched around nothing, legs shaking painfully as he held them apart as much as he could, exposing his twitching cock. Precum was staining the sheets, forming a small but visible puddle.
"Are you that excited? You're leaking."
Those words were more teasing than anything else, and it made Childe whine, loving how embarrassing it should be for him, your laughter reached his ears as it filled the room, making his cheeks turn crimson. Frustrated that you couldn't see his face correctly, you moved him into his back once again, his heels digging onto the mattress to keep his legs apart just for you.
His hands were still tightly tied behind his back, but he was not complaining about it yet, especially not when you placed the palm of your hand on his tip. At the simple but powerful touch, his hips jerked upward, his body trembling as you started to make small circles, the tip rubbing onto the center of your palm. His thighs shook as he had to hold himself up as his hips were in the air, not shying away from the pleasure he has been waiting for.
You completely loomed over him, your lips meeting his neck once again as you suck and bite on the soft flesh, slowly moving down without stopping the movement of your hand. Your face reached his spread legs, mouthing at his inner thigh before creating bleeding purple and red spots, a thin layer of sweat and saliva mixing together. The mark of your teeth decorated his pale skin perfectly.
The nails of your free hand grazed over his other thigh, moving to the inner part of them before going toward the spot Childe wanted the most to be touched right now.
Your fingertip teased his entrance, but you didn't start to do anything yet, only testing the waters. Your answer was simple dissatisfied words from him, his tone not too cocky, but still showing some confidence and impatience. Chuckling, your head dipped down, blowing air on his sensitive tip when you took your hand off it. A shocked gasp left him, and he slightly raised his leg, hitting your hips with his heel, getting annoyed and seriously in need of some real action.
Patting his leg, you forced it down again to not receive another hit, that was definitely strong, but not as painful as you expected. With a tight and painful grip, you held his hips down, flushed onto the bed, and you hoped he will stay in place as you went down on him. You run your tongue over his inner thigh to his hole, making Childe mewl and his hands onto the sheets tightly, legs almost kicking out as his hips bucked up violently.
He gasped, asking you to untie him, and after receiving another hit, you did. You hum at the soft pain coming from your scalp as his hands onto your hair, nails racking onto your skin, holding on for dear life. It surprised you when one of his hands went down to take one of yours, intertwining your fingers before getting lost in the sensation of your mouth again. You did not make a move to get his hand off, and just held onto it while the other was pinning his hips down as much as you could, his lower body rolling against your face to get more pleasure.
Without anything similar to lube on you or around you, you could only do this to at least try to ease the pain of the next step. To ease him, you gently caress the top of his hand with your thumb, trying not to overwhelm him, but he seemed quite lost in the sensation already.
Childe was painfully hard, ecstasy overriding any other emotion, clenching at each drag of your tongue. His mind was becoming blank as he felt your tongue leave, only for it to slide inside again without warning, preparing him for something he did not even see yet. The fact that you were still fully clothed annoyed him, but he forgot it instantly at the sound of spitting, as you shamelessly spat on his hole to make everything easier. His body lurched forward, hips higher both in a request to speed up and give him your tongue again.
It was a delicious mess, Childe clenching around your tongue like his life depends on it, giving you the impression that he could cut it off if he really tightened too much. The feeling of dirtiness by the way your spit trailed down his ass is washed away by the stimulation and excitement you inflict on him. You were so damn loud, eating him out like you were starving, but none of you were complaining, Childe writhing under you, legs shaking as his heels dig into the mattress.
His breaking point was coming nearer and nearer, so you halted before anything could happen, everything coming to a sudden stop. You pulled away from him, gasping for air in heavy breaths, removing the saliva that was on your chin with two fingers. Only to wipe it off on Childe's cheek was greedily accepted it, the slight humiliation only turning on further.
He froze when he feels your fingertip pushing against his entrance. Childe waited, patiently with his right leg slightly bouncing from the excitement. Seconds passed slowly, he isn't desperate yet but he was close to, the tantalizing wait made his insides twist and clench, confused about why you weren't doing anything or moving anymore. His voice comes out shaky and high as he tells you to quit teasing him and start preparing him correctly.
Immediately, your phalange enters him, sliding in without any resistance because of how wet and waiting he was for it, the saliva definitely being a huge help. You were taking your time, doing it correctly, and it was frustrating Childe, especially when he could see the bulge through your pants, and the way you grind your hips onto the sheets as a manner to contain yourself in the meantime.
Childe whined openly when he felt the drag of your first finger inside him it sends tingles down his spine. Shaking, he grabbed a pillow to shove it against his face, concealing his noises as his back arched off the bed, his legs kicked open, and his hips undulated prettily under you. He chocked on a moan as he felt another finger go inside, your nails scrapping his sensitive walls so pleasantly his whole body shook, a groan forcing its way out of his throat when your fingertips grazed over his prostate as they scissored him open.
For the first time in a really long while, tears escaped Childe's eyes, the pleasure spiking through his body up to his soul to the point he couldn't talk anymore. The tears were stagnating at the corner of his eyes, none of you knowing if it was out of desperation or pleasure, but they were definitely there. Childe let go of the pillow only to tap your arm, having difficulties looking at you with how his tears blurred his vision.
When he felt your fingers stop completely, it was as if his world fell apart, desperately clenching around you to keep you inside. He looked at you with teary eyes, trying to understand what you were doing, holding back a whine of annoyance. With a small and innocent smile, as your third finger went in, you told him to move by himself. His eyes widened, but no complaints were heard as he went to work, throwing his hips back onto your hand forcefully while trying to keep eye contact with you.
He was doing his best, rolling his hips and moving as well as he could despite the awkward position. Your praises and encouragements only fuel his ego and want to show how good he could do, fucking himself open on your fingers impatiently, getting ready for something else. The current predicament made your hand itch to try something, and without thinking much, you raised it before slamming it back down on his thigh. The loud smacking sound was cut off by the loudest moan you heard of the night, Childe's body jerking forward at the impact. A few pitiful droplets of cum fell from his tip.
The hand holding his hips moved to his cock, using your thumb to play with his tip, rubbing it gently to add another stimulation on top of the current one. Your thumb along with the dragging of your fingers in and out of him was blissful, his body almost giving up as the pleasure took over in the most delightful way. His eyes stayed fixated on you as you stared at each other's eyes, captivated and heart beating loudly inside your chests.
Childe was nowhere near silent, openly and shamelessly showing how good and high he was feeling, mixing with the wet sounds in perfect harmony. You curled your fingers towards his prostate, hearing him cry out as more cum covered your thumb, pleading for you to do that again, his eyelids fluttering shut, and his eyebrow furrowed to focus on the unique sensation he perceived. Something emerged from inside him, his vision on the ground lighting up and illuminating the ceiling, but you did not notice.
You were too amazed by the way his back arched towards you, muscles rolling under the skin in a beautiful dance, his body shivering and twisting to escape and get closer to this pleasure at the same time. Small whines blended with sniffles reached your ears, his hips coming to a stop as he tried to catch his breath, his lungs burning and struggling to get any air inside.
Seeing him at your mercy made your heart skip a beat, the sight made you even more excited, and the urge to ruin him became overbearing. Despite his breathless and dizzy state, you added another finger inside of him, reaching four at the same time, only partially caring for his current state as you tried to be as gentle as possible about it.
Childe was feeling so sensitive, and the fact that he never orgasmed once was driving him slowly insane. He tried to protest, but the first phalanges of your fingers were slammed inside at a fast pace, the rest of them quickly joining too. Each drag pushed his head higher in the sky, his eyes closing as his mouth open to let out moans.
Roughly, you yanked his head back by the hair to expose his crying face and neck to you. Your teeth grazed the soft flesh, delicately biting into it as his hands were clasped on your nape, bringing you closer. Each drag and hit of his prostate was bringing him closer to his first orgasm of the night, his body yearning for it with all its might, needing to relieve the tension that is eating him alive.
The feeling inside Childe's core was growing rapidly, his abs tightening and his ass clenching strongly around your fingers. The residual alcohol in your systems was still exerting its effects on your bodies, resulting in an increase in his sensitivity, the sensation intensifying as he approached the oh-so-expected end. You could see Childe losing his mind as he was getting light-headed, his mind becoming blank, and he couldn't process anything anymore. Under his breath, cut off by moans and intelligible whines, he pleaded.
"… Just a bit more.
I need just a bit more…"
Smiling, you started to gently kiss his jaw, moving closer as your warmth engulfed him, bathing in the beautiful sight and soft pleasure of seeing him lose himself, you licked off the tears rolling down his freckles-kissed cheeks. The somewhat unfamiliar tender gesture distracted him and made Childe's heart stop beating for an instant, his hands cupping your jaw, tempted to kiss you but something was holding him back.
Opening his mouth, he cried out suddenly, unintelligible words coming out and were instantly cut by broken moans and whines. His head slammed back, his body tensing as Childe felt like he was overheating, the feeling of your long and thick fingers loosening him up but especially rubbing against his walls at an irregular pace. His entire body felt the wave crashing onto him, but something felt wrong.
Whimpering a plea, he was coming, but nothing came out of his body, leaving him shaking and disconcerted. He knew for a fact that this familiar sensation was one of an orgasm coming, but his release didn't happen, and he was throbbing in half-pain and pleasure. Tears continued to stain his cheeks with fresh new tears, wetting the pillow under his head.
Despite trying to say a word, no words flew past his lips, but you still sensed and understood his dissatisfaction and confusion about what just happened. Childe definitely never experienced a dry orgasm, and not in this kind of context even less. You gently took hold of his jaw, kissing the side of his neck, and helped him up, so he could get on his knees, his back turned to you. His body flushed against your torso, and he turned his head to nuzzle into your neck. The warmth from your body is comforting and relaxing, Childe is completely melting against you and letting you finish preparing him while trying to ignore the ache in his lower body.
Feeling like it was enough, you stopped moving your hand slowly separating yourself from Childe. Your lack of condom was immediately waved off by Childe who didn't care about that in the slightest at this moment, and instead grabbed your neck to make sure you would stay close to him when he felt your knees shift. Childe looked at you through wet lashes, his lips parting slightly, warm breath hitting your face as he wanted so badly to kiss you right now.
You sighed, running your fingers through his silky hair, nuzzling calmly into his neck, mouthing at the scarred skin while avoiding his lips, sensing that kissing him would cross a line. Before taking the next step, you wanted Childe to calm down a bit, his body as tense as a bowstring. Your hand danced over his body, rubbing his stomach with your palm, making small circles before moving to the middle of his chest to apply some pressure.
The rush you were in temporarily stopped, giving you some time to calm down and breathe properly while putting your mind away from the trembling happening on your lower body, hips moving in the air softly. It was also the time to make sure everything was still consensual, even though you had no doubt about it, you felt weird to just go into it without sharing a word.
You gently nuzzled your face in between his shoulder blades, licking the skin before biting down harshly, moaning as you break the skin, blood sliding into your mouth and down his back. The abrupt pain sends an exquisite sensation through Childe's entire body, his hands shaking as a quiet whine and hushed breath became soft moans, his face showing openly how much he was enjoying the pain and the slow agonizing pace that took place.
No doubt was left in your mind when you saw his face, noticing how dilated his pupils were, his eyes slowly starting to roll back in ecstasy. Drool gathered at the corner of his mouth, his cheeks permanently flushed in a red hue, and drying tears coating his skin, Childe looked beautiful and high. The few bites littering his skin completed the artwork the scars created, the droplets of blood turning into mind blowing pleasure for him and an artistic urge for you.
Now, you were definitely and wholly aching to be inside of him, relieve yourself from this constant need and desire pooling at the bottom of your stomach. Your grip keeping him on his knees loosened, and you carefully pushed him down, Childe slightly flopped down on the bed uselessly when your warmth wasn't engulfing him anymore. He remained still, waiting for the next actions you would take, but still throw a curious glance your way, wondering if he should turn on his back or stay still on his stomach.
As you step down from the bed, Childe turned on his back, resting on his forearms to watch what you were doing. You wasted no time discarding all your clothes, struggling for a few seconds to take off the unfamiliar clothes you were wearing, exposing your upper body first. A small sound was heard, Childe stayed still, watching with hawk eyes everything about you, drinking in every detail like a starving man, his cock becoming harder at the sight of the improvised strip tease.
Closing his legs tightly, Childe shamelessly rubbed his thighs together, now understanding why it took you so long to prepare him and why you used so many fingers. Since you were bigger than most people he met, he had no doubt every aspect of your body was similar in size, but it was slightly exceeding his expectations, in the greatest way possible. If he wasn't turned on before, he definitely was now, and his body begged silently to feel the body of the man stripping down in front of him.
Undoing your pants, you slide the soft fabric down your legs, kicking them away without much care about them. Your underwear followed suit, finally revealing the important part that Childe wanted to see, and he paused for a second at the sight. He blinked wordlessly at the sound of your cock hitting your stomach, a few droplets of precum tainting your skin in the prettiest way. Without any lube, you ended up spitting in your hand, stroking yourself and Childe observed every little movement, the way your wrist spun, your tip turning a slightly darker shade and a vein twitching to life.
Chile stayed still on the spot, his forearms getting enveloped by the mattress, his hole clenching around nothing, the feeling of being far too empty hit him. The sensation of saliva dripping out of him and the way you touched yourself just in front of him wasn't helping, and he practically jumped on his knees when you stepped toward the bed again.
Sitting on the bed at first, you kneeled on it, patting your thigh to call him over. Childe obeyed immediately, jolting forward and somewhat crawling toward you, his hands grabbing onto your thighs at first, kneading the flesh. His hands run over your body, teasingly grazing your cock with his fingertips before touching your stomach, going over to your side, toward your pectoral to end on your shoulders. His lips went closer to your face but didn't try to kiss you, only nibbling onto your jaw instead, teeth grazing your skin, pulling on it, and marking it.
Meanwhile, your hands moved to the back of his thighs, grabbing onto them to lift him up easily, closer to you and your torso flushed together, the warm skin heating up the freezing cold one. His weight wasn't a problem in the slightest, the difference in size making every move much simpler, his weight agreeably resting over your lap. You spread your legs a bit to find a good position, the way your breath fawned over Childe's neck was exhilarating for him, giving him shivers.
As you hold him up just over your cock, your tip pressing against his rim, Childe felt the excitement take over his body as the awaited moment was finally there after such a long and agonizing wait. Despite wanting nothing less than to drop him and bottom out completely, you still kept him up, asking to make sure everything was alright before you could do anything else.
His nails racked down your neck to your back, glaring at you when you asked that question as he wiggled his hips, making his impatience clear. You took it as a positive answer and readjusted your grip on his thighs, holding his legs apart as you lowered him slowly. To help you, Childe held your cock and placed the tip at his entrance while you lowered him, as there was no way it could slide in correctly without any help in this position.
As you forced him down slowly, you felt your breath be stolen away by the way he clenched around you so tightly, your hands shook on his thighs as you tried to focus on what you were doing. Childe gasped for air, nails digging into your scalp, heavy breath fawning over your neck as he hides his face in the junction of your neck and shoulder. He unconsciously tightened down like crazy around you, your grip loosening for an instant, but you caught him before he could fall on your cock in one go.
Childe was feeling loopy and high, the sweet pain of the stretch coursing through his body like a syrupy poison, he never thought he could have ever taken that size if you didn't stretch him out. His legs are shaking, he tried to move them to stay in a squatting position, but he was unable to think enough to try. He was already struggling too much to just get used to the overwhelming feeling to even try moving any muscles of his body, especially when he started to feel a strange sensation in his lower body, a small bulge appearing at the bottom.
You were definitely not bottoming out yet, but it was enough to send Childe's mind into overdrive. The sight made his hole clamp down around you, and your hands let go of him, and with gravity, he found himself sitting completely in your lap. Your cock was completely inside, swallowed by tight and pulsing insides, the lower part of his thighs slammed against yours, his mind shutting down as it happened, his poor brain unable to catch up with the sudden fullness.
Childe stayed frozen on the spot, his legs shaking from the spam of his muscles, his hands grasping at your shoulders to have something to keep himself sane.
You let out a heavy sigh turning into a soft moan, your hands trembling as they grabbed at the plush of his hips, getting used to the feeling of such tightness. With how things were going, there was no way you could last long, especially if Childe didn't manage to calm down and stop clamping down around you as if he wanted to cut your cock in two. Your sensitivity reached the highest point, leaving you breathless and shocked, the pleasure shooting through your core and into your veins, your body almost vibrating from the unfamiliar yet addicting sensation.
You both remained in this position for a few minutes, his hole squeezing and trying to suck you in even deeper, much to your delight and dismay. Childe's body is greedy, yearning for more, for you to move even if he isn't adjusted to your size yet, it didn't matter if it could be painful, he was going to love it anyway. His mind isn't functioning properly, unable to comprehend anything fully as he subconsciously grinds slowly to get used to the feeling. A whine escape him, his tongue lolling out as he drooled onto your body, too stupid and full to close his mouth.
A few tears run down his cheeks, making you fear that you hurt him, but from the way his body shook and cum squirted onto your stomach, Childe got an orgasm just from the sensation of your cock crushing his prostate. His head tilted back to take a large gulp of air, he blinked slowly, trying to come back to reality.
"Look at me."
It took him a few seconds to process your words before obeying, his head slowly raising until he was facing you, barely a few centimeters separating your faces. His breath hit your lips, his eyes glossy from the pleasure, the look in his eyes was absolutely breathtaking, giving you chills. They were far from dull and empty, their color and emotions were sucking you in until you won't have anything to give anymore. You were in awe, but also surprised by how fucked out of his mind he looked, despite only starting.
You smiled in amusement, one of your hands caressing his cheek and jaw before moving to his thighs, both hands grabbing the flesh before using your strength to move him up. In a whisper, you gave him your name after realizing that you never did. You murmur lowly in his ear, describing how tight and good he feels around you, how hard you could fuck him right now, and his cock throbbed back to life against his stomach.
With a delirious groan, you begin to move him up and down harshly, his hole clenches around you when only your tip remains inside him, and you are rewarded by a loud moan when you slam his hips back down, his body sucking you in greedily. Childe whines your name at first, before moaning and groaning it loudly, getting louder after each thrust, babbling to you and pleading for more. As he throws his arms over your shoulders, he moves his hips to help you move, raising his body as high as he could before letting down to fall down as harshly as he could.
More gasps of pleasure fill the room, his head thrown back as his eyelids flutter, but he tries to keep his eyes open, only for them to roll back when you accidentally hit his prostate dead on. A sob leaves his mouth, his lips twitching upwards as he jerks forward, kissing the corner of your lips, mouth at your jaw, bite at your neck to silence himself. He whispers words of encouragement into your ear, telling you to go harder, to spank him, hit him, choke him until you're satisfied.
With both your hands on his hips to move him up and down, make him grind down on you, you couldn't wrap your hand around his pretty neck even if you wanted to so badly.
For a moment, you thought he came as his hole tightened around you, spamming and trying to make you cum inside him. You watched as he only some pitiful small drops of cum roll down his cock, and without a second thought, you let go of his hips, uncaring if you bottom out once again as your hand slapped his ass. You mock him for having a dry orgasm before and now not even being able to cum, and you get rewarded with a loud moan and a plea for more, Childe's face becoming redder and his freckles stood out on his burning cheeks, the wetness of his tears and sweat making look ethereal.
Moving by himself, using his feet to push onto the bed, you caressed his body, scratching him and slapping him, watching in adoration as his cock jumped up a little every time and his knees buckled up. You slowly learned how and where to touch him, what part of his body could drive him insane in an instant. Observing him like a hawk, you drink in the sight of such a powerful man being reduced to nothing but a crying and fucked out man on a simple cock. His babbling is cut off by a loud moan when you pressed onto one of his recent scars, more cum coming out when you slap his cock or how tight he becomes when you hit his prostate or graze it gently.
Getting frustrated by how slow the pace is, you lift Childe up, ignoring his complaints and glare as you push him onto the bed, on all fours. He barely had the time to place his forearms down before you slam back into him, your grip bruising his hips as you go as hard as you can. Your hand sneaks to his throat, forcing his head back before tightening your fingers around it, your palm pressing against the front as Childe chokes. He moans in delight, pushing his hips back to meet your thrusts, his head going forward just so you can yank him back again.
His back flushed against your torso, the back of his head resting on your shoulders as you fuck him open, leaving him gaping whenever you pull out too much. He doesn't even have the time to complain before you use your hand to push yourself back in, your fingers digging into the side of his throat when he tries to talk or say anything. Childe is suffocating, suffering, his air flow is completely cut by your fingers, but has such a big smile on his face as his tongue wet his lips in delight.
His hips jerked up as you pressed your other hand onto his cock, rubbing it alongside your thrust. The pain and incredible stimulation make him cum on the spot, but you never stop moving, not caring about how long it takes him before being able to be hard and cum again. You ignore his whines as he tries to say something, his tip turning a deeper shade of red under the stimulation of your hand, your palm rubbing in circles like before on his tip.
You're still nice enough to let go when he starts to cry and cup his balls instead, gently massaging them. As your grip on his neck lessens, Childe thanks you over and over, telling you to be meaner and go harder on him, to not hold back. He even begs for you to slap him if he gets too loud which you do immediately, and he groans in delight, speaking even more so you could slap him again.
You slide a knee between his legs to force them apart a bit wider, speeding up your pace to bring yourself to this orgasm that has been growing inside you for such long minutes now. Your hand stays on Childe's neck, not tightening your hold for fear he would pass out, Childe's whimpers filling your ears like a melody, and you can't think anymore, only your instincts speaking.
Childe's throat is too dry to scream or moan anymore, but it doesn't stop him from whining your name, begging for you to cum in him. He could feel you move, the way your heavy cock dragged inside him, your tip grazing his prostrate every time, or this vein slightly pulsating, Childe was getting hyperaware of everything. Each of your touch was felt, affecting his mind, the pressure applied on his throat, your stomach clenching against his back, the trembling muscles of your arms, your legs shaking as you grow closer to your peak.
Each thrust goes as deep as it can, forcing his insides to accept your cock deeper, offering himself to your insatiable need. His stomach was exposed to your eyes, and you rested your chin on his shoulder, observing in fascination as you were able to perceive the movement of your cock, the small bump was even more noticeable than before. You grab Childe's hand and push it onto his stomach, letting him feel the way he's so tight around you, and it makes his eyes roll back. He was a whimpered mess, his body shaking in your hold, his weight fully resting on you.
Your stomach burns up as you feel closer, you try to keep edging yourself a bit more, dragging on the pleasure that you're feeling, as you didn't want everything around you to disappear yet. The addictive feeling of his body was getting to your head, making you dizzy, feeling high, and on the verge of falling into an endless pit.
Muscles roll under your skin as you chase after your release, using your last strength in your legs and hips to keep moving, grinding down onto him, not even able to pull out anymore. Between gasps and groans, you try to ask him if you can cum inside, and his only answer is your name and his hole clamping down around you so tightly that you can't pull out at all. Childe babbles, his cries and plea are impossible to be understood as his words get mixed together, he's completely overstimulated and losing his mind.
Your thrusts are harsh and deep, repetitive movements made without any thoughts behind them, just an overbearing need taking over and making sure you can reach your orgasm. You rail him, holding onto his forearms for leverage, his head slamming back onto your shoulder as his body trembled, the tension in his core getting to the breaking point.
At the same instant, something breaks inside you, and your own stomach tightens, abs burning as you flush your hips against his ass and cum inside him. You whimper his name, thankfully Childe was too fucked out to notice as you say his name over and over like a mantra, hips jerking a bit as you release inside him. Euphoria flows through your veins, your head spinning and your mouth getting dry, a pained moan escapes as you feel Childe tighten one last time around you before he goes limp.
He was still conscious enough to understand what happened, his body completely resting against yours, his legs too weak to hold him up. He turned his head, his lips against your ear as he sobbed, mumbling your name as he felt fuller than before, some drop leaking out of him and staining the bed. He moves his hips back slowly and tries to tighten around you more to help you feel completely satisfied.
The fact that he didn't even get to cum isn't bothering him, and Childe was convinced you wouldn't think about it until he felt your hand caress his stomach. A whimper greeted your ear when you graze his inner thighs, going up until you cup his balls, stroking his cock slowly and gently. Pained whines leave him, his sensitivity going through the roof, and even more when you use your other hand to rub the tip carefully with your thumb. You draw your hips back, positioning yourself in a way your tip drags against his prostate every time, just delicately pushing his buttons.
His face is flushed, his eyelashes wet and clamped together, his cheeks covered in dry tears, and his mouth wide open, lips drying out. Slowly, he feels his mind gets blank, his body gets unresponsive and when you murmur in his ear that he could cum, his reaction is instantaneous, his muscles tighten, his body shakes, and reaches his orgasm. But instead of cumming, you watch Childe squirt all over your hand and the bed, his eyes completely rolled back as he can't even speak, just kneeling there against you and letting go of everything, forming a small puddle in front of him.
It happens in an instant, but he turns his head to the side, your eyes meet, and before you can understand, his lips meet yours in a lazy kiss. It doesn't even last a few seconds as he passes out in your arms, eyes closed and breathing calm as he lays limp against you. Speechless, you lay him down on the bed, unconscious or asleep, you don't really know, as he didn't have enough stamina to stay awake any longer.
With a sigh, you get up with shaking legs, getting a towel and something to clean him up, taking the time to take a shower yourself and change into your previous pants before falling into the bed next to him. You discard the stained duvet without another thought, it was hot enough to sleep without one anyway.
You lay next to Childe in silence, unable to think properly as you're still high and ecstatic about what happened a few moments before, the pleasure still paralyzing your brain. In your mind, you're convinced that Childe will leave before the sun goes up, as soon as he wakes up, so you don't feel so worried about tomorrow. You're also almost certain that there won't be a tomorrow here, so you turn to Childe, looming over him with sharp eyes before leaning down and leaving a second and final kiss on his lips.
When you wake up the next day, the sun was already high in the sky, bathing the room in a warm and gentle atmosphere. There's no need to turn your head, as you already know Childe left, you can already feel the coldness that took place after his body left the bed and went away. But something else bothered you, it was the fact that you were still here, and it left a weird taste in your mouth, a feeling of unknown and fear that you did your best to forget.
You stood up with difficulties, your body aching from the previous night as you cleaned and changed the sheets, putting on your previous clothes once again, since you didn't have anything else right now. Stretching, you try to think about what you could do and end up deciding to discover and explore Liyue Harbor by yourself while you were still here.
The last thing that you expected when you opened the door was to see Childe stand there, leaning against the wall with a fresh set of clothes, he seemed to glow with happiness which was highly unusual. He gives you a playful smirk before standing tall, he offered you his hand, cheeks reddening and cute freckles standing out as he waited for you to do something, anything. A grin breaks onto his face as you step forward and let him grab your arm before dragging you out of the hotel, but he's kind enough to let you stop in front of the lobby to greet the woman from before, who smiles at you and wave since it was your first and last night here.
Unbeknownst to you, whenever Childe's skin gets in contact with yours, a bright blue mark on the back of your neck lights up, similar to his vision. And his own neck has a strange pure white mark that is hidden by his scarf.
And from afar, golden eyes glare at the sight.
A tall dark brown-haired man stares at the two of you, your scent seemed so familiar that he only wanted to get closer, but the scent of the man next to you was tainting it in the most disgusting way. He only wanted to smell that familiar fragrance that bring back a nice forgotten feeling from a long time ago.
His eyes become luminescent as his tail wages behind him, his horns resting majestically on top of his head, his stomach turning at the mixed fragrances coming from you. With a gentle smile, he goes back to work, thinking about how he could prepare your encounter with himself without scaring you, not wanting to come off as creepy and dangerous as Childe next to you.
He couldn't help but feel annoyed that the ginger managed to meet you before him, but he knows that he'll be able to get your attention on himself, and him only. He needed to do something about that obstacle, especially when he could see this blue mark on your nape, taunting him, tainting your body.
But he knows it won't last much longer, since he was here to take care of it.
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⏤ Thank you for reading! I wish you a great day.
⏤ here is my masterlist & ko-fi ⏤
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1K notes · View notes
rendy-a · 11 months
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Hey, um hi! I'm new here, nice to meet you, sorry I'm a bit awkward with requests
So, Could we have some of the Self aware AU with Idia and Sebek? It can be whatever you want, a headcanon or a mini one shot, whichever you prefer more^^
Thank you ahead!
~~~🌟🎃
The interesting thing with Self Aware AU is that you can write it like the game characters are aware of you as you play or you can write where the player is isekai’d into the game and everyone knows about it.  Last time, I had written it in the perspective of playing the game irl.  I thought this time, I’d write it as though the player was somehow drawn into the game.  Hope you enjoy it. 
Remember, the Self-Aware AU is a yandere AU!
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When you’d awoken inside your favorite phone game…well, you’d freaked out.  But then!  You’d made one rule; never mention the game to any character.  It was just strange.  Plus, you weren’t sure how they’d react!  It was a rule you’d managed to follow, until today.
You, like the character Yuu in your game, were a first-year student at NRC.  As much as you’d liked to have avoided all the game characters to prevent triggering any dangerous events, you shared class with Ace and Deuce (plus lived with Grim).  Over time, you’d been pulled into lunches and joint classes with all the first-year students.  Thankfully, the first-year students weren’t where the problem was.  That was with the Housewardens and you avoided them in every situation possible.  You were relieved that the plot of the game had you living in such a remote dorm and excused you from attending any sort of club activities. 
And yet, you sometimes wished you would meet the characters.  It would be so cool to talk to your favorites, see them in actual real life!  Only, you were also pretty sure the minute you came face-to-face, you’d say something embarrassing or stupid.  Like you did when you met Ace and Deuce.  You still cringe when you remember calling them the ‘single braincell duo’ to their faces.  Yes, it was probably for the best that you took isolated halls to class to avoid the seniors.  You wouldn’t want to turn the corner and ACK!
You rolled over from where you’d fallen and gazed up to see who or what you’d collided with.  You recoiled in horror as nebulous blue flames made patterns across your vision.  “What kind of ridiculous anime situation is this.  Real people should look at where they are going in the hall.  This place needs a mini-map to avoid NPC’s like this.  I can’t believe on the one day I have to attend class in person some extrovert is lurking in my quiet hallway…”  He hadn’t looked up from where he’d fallen but you could tell in an instant that you’d triggered some rare event and encountered a wild Idia.
You spend this small moment wondering if you should pretend to know him or not.  He’s a Housewarden, so you should probably know who he is, right?  But at the same time, he never leaves Ignihyde, so how would you know him?  Maybe you should pretend to not know him.  “It’s you,” a small voice interrupts your dilemma.  You look up at Idia in surprise only to find a matching expression of surprise on his face.  Then his mouth parts slightly and a string of words emerges.  “What should I do?  I didn’t prepare for this event.  I’m not ready to meet my Oshi in person.  How do I trigger the correct dialog option here?  I’m going to get a death flag; I just know it…”
He says a lot of things, but one thing catches your attention: Oshi.  Were you somehow Idia’s favorite?  That can’t be, right?  You let out a giggle at the absurdity of the situation.  Idia’s eyes grow large, and he shrinks back at the sound, started to hear it coming from your mouth.  “Don’t be so nervous Idia.  Nothing bad is going to happen,” you say softly.  When you speak to him, Idia loses control of himself and starts talking rapidly, “Of course!  If the Player says so, then it is so.  They are so amazing, like limited SSR class amazing.  I don’t deserve to even be in their presence.  They are probably thinking, who is this gloomy weirdo with the fire hair?  Why is he dressed so strange, he probably doesn’t have any fashion sense.” 
“That’s not true!” you shout, “I remember when your Ghost Marriage card came out!  Oh my gosh!  It looked so cool!  It was totally my favorite card.  I had to pull 200 times to get it!”  Then you abruptly stop, realizing you’ve said too much when Idia’s hair turns completely pink.  “I…I’m just going to go,” you say as you cover your face in embarrassment and walk back around the corner the way you had arrived.
The students of Ignihyde gave Idia a wide berth as he returned to the dorm.  No one dared approach him while his hair flickered so violently from gentle pink to blazing red.  Idia himself seemed entirely unaware of the bizarre show he was putting on.  He continued mumbling and giggling to himself all the way back to his room.  When he finally found the solitude of his inner sanctuary, he jumped on his bed and hugged his Player-print body pillow.  “Hee Hee Hee!” he laughs out loud for no one to hear but himself.  “I did it.  I meet my Oshi!”  Then he rolls over onto his back and stares dreamily into the ceiling, “They knew who I was.  That must mean something.  Maybe, this is fate?” 
There was only one rule all the inhabitants of Twisted Wonderland had; don’t interfere with the Player.  It was a rule he’d managed to follow, until today.  Today, Fate intervened.  If Fate wanted you two to be together, who was Idia to argue?  As he stared at the ceiling, Idia’s engineering brain went into gear planning designs for a place he could take you where no one else could reach.  A place where you’d finally be alone, with only him.  Just like Fate had planned.
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Over time, you’d noticed that the residents of Twisted Wonderland treated you differently.  You remembered the first time you heard Crowley tell the aggravated student body he’d assigned weekend cleaning duty to all students to clean up the campus for their use…because he was so kind.  While all around you, students started grumbling, you’d burst out laughing.  When everyone had started looking at you, you’d choked off your laugh and covered your face.  “Sorry, he just…he said the thing,” you managed to get out between smothered chuckles. 
No one ever called you out on your strange behavior.  It was like they all collectively got together and decided that you were allowed to behave in any way you chose.  They, on the other hand, often seemed to struggle with deciding if they should act normally in your presence or not.  The number of times you’d slipped into a room of rowdy students to have the conversation cut off into a silent awe was alarming.  Today was just another example.
You’d gotten back after a class and lay in your bed, bored.  You’d think that being pulled into your favorite game would give you endless entertainment but, after a time, it just settled into being exactly like school in your world.  The only difference is you occasionally went out looking for locations or characters in the game, like a sort of anime pilgrimage.  Sometimes, you’d been caught in awkward situations, but you’d just sort of nod and say, “This all looks fine,” and leave.  No one has ever called you out on your intrusions.  So…you just felt free to invite yourself anywhere you were curious to go.  Today, you thought about things you were interested in and decided that you’d go to some of the clubs to find out what the club uniforms looked like.  After all, not all those cards were released; it’s like the ultimate preview!
You were almost used to the way things fell silent when you entered the stable yard.  Members of the Horseback Riding Club stopped what they were doing to stare at you.  Those who faced away noticed the attention of their fellows and turned to see you before they too, fell silent.  In almost no time at all, they had casually circled you, as though waiting for you to hand out some sort of instruction or give a speech.  You rubbed your head and thought, guess it’s time to break out the old ‘nothing to see here’ and bounce.  Before you could though, a call broke the silence.  “HUMAN!”
You turned toward the sound, an eager expression coming over you.  Were you about to experience the famous rants of Sebek?  As you hoped, Sebek was loudly berating students at the outer edges of the semi-circle for their inattention during club activities.  You eased yourself forward, hoping to catch sight of him.  No one tried to bar your way, parting before you as you progressed.  You easily reached his side and leaned forward to watch his antics.  Suddenly, he turns and grabs onto YOU!  “HUMAN, YOU AREN’T EVEN DRESSED YET!  THIS SORT OF SLOVENLY BEHAVIOR…” and then he trails off as he looks at your face and you can see the awareness fall over him.
His eyes go wide, and he immediately let’s go of your shoulder, visibly taken aback.  He stammers and you imagine you even see tears gathering in his eyes.  You think to yourself, time to find a way out of this before things get even worse.  “I…I’m here for an inspection…” you say carefully.  All the gathered students listen intently, standing just a touch straighter.  “Sebek, I have decided…I have decided to see how many push-ups you can do in a minute.”  It made no sense, and you knew it made no sense.  You wondered if this would finally be the time someone calls you on your BS but instead, Sebek perks up to an extreme degree.  “YES, OF COURSE!  RIGHT AWAY!” he bellows. 
You stand at his side as he begins, pretending to care far more than you do about the results of this demonstration.  Honestly, it is impressive.  The speed at which he sets out to complete the exercises is extreme.  You wonder for a moment just what sort of training Lilia DOES give to Sebek and Silver to get them to this level of fitness.  When he is finished with the allotted minute, he jumps to attention, standing much as you’d imagine he does on guard over Malleus.  You give it a moment and then say, “Yes, that will suffice.  You may all return to your duties now.”  Having ordered the students to depart, they comply with a surprising speed.  They all still watch you but now they do it while pretending to be engaged in filling buckets with water or looking over curry combs. 
You give one final nod to Sebek and say, “Good job,” before you walk away.  That was more than enough excitement for one night.  You’d rather spend the rest of the evening in Ramshackle than deal with any more things like this tonight.  Behind you, Sebek watches you go in awe.  You praised him; you told him he did a good job.  Before you quite got out of earshot, you heard one last shout, “SILVER WAKE UP!  THEY PRAISED ME, THE PLAYER PRAISED ME!”  You laughed to yourself, what a strange world this was.
That evening in Diasomnia, Sebek carefully pulled his portrait of Malleus off the wall.  Nestled behind it was a photograph of the Player.  He gazed at it reverently.  They’d spoken to him today; praised him even.  He wasn’t yet over it.  He thinks we will never get over it.  He places your photo next to his pillow as he lays down to sleep.  In the morning, he’ll put it back behind the portrait.  He’d not dare to change his room’s layout from what the Player knows!  But for tonight, he’d fall asleep to your face and the remembrance of your voice.  Someday…maybe he’d not even need to use a photograph.  ‘NO!’ he tells himself sternly, ‘the Player is not for you!’  And yet, some dark corner of his mind tells him that ‘good job’ is just a small step away from ‘I love you.’
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kyouka-supremacy · 7 months
Text
I was asked why I like Beast and why I prefer it over the main universe, so obviously I ended up with a 2k+ words essay on why Beast is great. Now I feel like it diverges too much from what the original ask was actually asking for, so I'm leaving it to its own post. Enjoy.
Why do you like Beast? So, first of all you MUST know that this is a question that could keep me talking for days to no end. I'm not kidding. Here there will be some disorganized rambles but trust me, if I had time to actually do so I'd keep going on forever.
Alternative universes are cool I love Beast. I think it starts off at a point when the bsd author was more experienced from having already worked with the main series for many years, and ultimately ended up making an alternative version of the work that is more mature and refined, while still maintaining bsd's core themes (and conservative worldviews at that lmao). Starting off, the “what if” concept is endlessly fascinating, pretty much the entire fandom culture is based on it. It IS unfailingly cool to see what could have happened if Akutagawa sided with the ada and Atsushi with the pm, it is extremely interesting to see what changes out of their personalities and on the other hand what stays the same, what is intrinsically them. About sskk, I find it really compelling how Beast tackles intimate aspects of their lives, pasts and traumas. The café scene is genuinely brilliant in the way it shows, completely unexpectedly and to the reader's full disbelief, them getting along in normal circumstances. Who could have predicted that! Of all things, Akutagawa and Atsushi getting along. But it happened, and nothing before had ever shown to that extent how similar they are, how much on the same page they are, how much they're meant to be– like yeah obviously I mean romantically, but even if you're not particularly into that, it displayed just how deeply connected they are. I'm forever grateful for that scene.
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Beast Akutagawa is great But I think… More in general, I just really like Beast Akutagawa and Beast Atsushi, even better than their canon counterparts 😅 Again I do think at the point when they wrote Beast the author had already gathered a lot of experience from serializing bsd for at least five years, and ended up making characters that are more solid and compelling (although please don't get me wrong, I LOVE canon sskk and I believe canon Akutagawa's character arc in particular is amazing. It's just that at least to me Beast sskk is everything I could ever ask for.). I love Beast Akutagawa! It was so so capturing to see him grow outside of the pm. And especially it was infinitely interesting to see Akutagawa grow outside of Dazai. And don't get me wrong, I love the influence Dazai has on canon Akutagawa, I wouldn't have it any other way: it made Akutagawa who he is, and I love reading about his character. But I also found it wonderful and pleasantly refreshing to see how he would be if he had never undergone Dazai's training; I like this Akutagawa who's possibly even more immature and impulsive, wild and untamed than his canon counterpart. Beast is also the universe where Akutagawa gets his chance at being a good person - which is something he desperately strived for but never got to have in the main universe -, and in the end I am a little attached to Akutagawa, so I'm happy for him! His relationship with Oda and the whole ada are wonderful, I like getting to experience a universe where Akutagawa is loved and supported, unapologetically, for who he is.
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Beast Atsushi is great Beast Atsushi is AMAZING. Like. Character molded appositely to my liking ahah. He's so cool! He's so tormented! He's sweet and cruel and utterly unstable! I love him so much. He truly is Atsushi at his full potential. I love this Atsushi who's biggest fear isn't the world, but rather himself. He's beautiful and horrible and deathly and kind. He killed his abuser to stop him from haunting his nightmares, but ended up turning those nightmares into his life. He takes his coffee with three sugars. He loves his little sister and would risk the safety of his organization and the boss he's endlessly loyal to for her. The only person who ever understood him is his most loathed enemy. He's one with death and indistinguishable from darkness. His laughter stops rain. He lives in perpetual physical pain due to a choker constantly piercing around his neck and yet even that is nothing compared to the damage of his psyche. He's so, so fucked up. He deserves the world. I LOVE HIM.
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Beast Dazai is great Also, I really like Beast Dazai!!! He's always Dazai, but I think his character works out a lot better in Beast for the role he covers. In canon Dazai is this omniscient, all knowing figure, but he's also a protagonist, and him being so perfectly flawless doesn't go well in the long run. You've seen it in the last season 5 episode, it just gets boring after a while– it would be nice to see him face actual challenges and high stakes for once, but he's so overpowered, that never happens. In Beast, it's pretty much the same deal (author really loves Dazai lmao), but the fact that he isn't the protagonist and instead the main villain? I feel like from a storytelling standpoint, it works so much better!! I mean, his being omniscient works a lot better– he's not the one who the reader expects facing challenges and high stakes, the protagonist is. In addition, in Beast Dazai has almost universal knowledge due to his link to the Book, so that makes his being omniscient and even god-like a lot more feasible and easy to contemplate! I think that plot-wise it just works a lot better, there's an actual reason he's so overpowered, and that reason is explained, it's in the text. Oh and I LOVE his utter devotion to Oda. I know it's the same in canon, but still… There in Beast you can see it concretely, you can see it everywhere. That very universe exists how it is because of Dazai's love for Oda, because there's nothing he wouldn't do for him, because in the whole universe, in the whole multiverse, Oda's happiness is the only thing that matters to him. I think such strong feelings of love being put so explicitly is something simply wonderful to read, and makes Dazai infinitely more sympathetic than what he may be in canon. “But I do have one regret, Odasaku— I won't be able to read the novel you'll complete one day.” LIKE YEAH, SURE, ALRIGHT, JUST SHOOT ME TO THE HEAD ALREADY. That line alone is worth the whole novel, honestly. Oh and the thing about Oda harshly repudiating Dazai, the man who literally did everything for him, who dedicated his whole life for him… Man!!! That REALLY made me sympathize with Dazai in a way canon will never be able to. All those factors only contribute making Dazai's suicide in the end all the more emotional– which I believe works really well in the story, he is an enemy and he is a god and he had to die, but still makes for an extremely emotionally charged scene and a wonderful story climax. Imo Beast Dazai had to die so that canon Dazai could live (and, hopefully, find a reason to live!), and it's as bitter as it is beautiful.
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The Beast ada dynamics are great And I love the ada in Beast!!! They feel infinitely more of a family than they do in canon. Kenji, Kunikida, Tanizaki, they all seem to love Akutagawa in a way that's hard to be found towards Atsushi in canon? The way they didn't falter to rescue Akutagawa even as he went, against all their advices and pleas, to a suicidal rampage was wonderful and heartwarming. They make it sound unbelievable that when Atsushi was (mind you, unwillingly) kidnapped their first response would be that it was an hassle and that he should have dealt with it on his own (this time I truly believe it was the author learning from their own mistakes, because seriously, who does that. It makes everyone instantly feel a thousand times less sympathetic). As people have said, the ada alone makes Beast feel like the “right” universe on the basis that in it they actually care about their members. All things considered, the ada treats Akutagawa as this kind of rabid murderous gremlin they just adopted who's going to bite everyone but that they still love no matter what, and it's super cute. Beast ada really is the bsd found family if there ever was one.
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A cool plot The Beast storyline is just very compelling in general? The introduction chapter is amazing, I mean, The Heartless Cur is amazing. Again, Beast Akutagawa is such a great character, and the description of his struggle to find his own humanity, although in my opinion does fall weak in some points and has flaws, still treats a concept that's very interesting to ponder over nonetheless. I like how there's a series of more light-hearted chapters in the first half, it helps solidify the characters, and those chapters are really nice to read; not to mention having lighter chapters alternated with the strikingly more gloomy and violent pm Atsushi scenes makes the latter feel all the more frightening and disturbing, it's a great narrative choice. And the big crescendo of Akutagawa storming in the pm headquarters! His fight of physics and morals against Atsushi! Them telling each other they're nothing like the other when the reader knows the exact opposite is true! It's all very good, and again, Dazai's suicide makes for a perfect climax to the story.
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Sometimes being a seinen can be good I like how Beast is a seinen way more than the main story is? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with shounen manga - which bsd seems to lean towards more often than not, with only occasionally tackling more adult concepts -, but at this specific time in my life those darker themes are just something I find more entertaining to read about. I feel like the gritty and often gruesome depictions, although maybe a little overused in the manga, really help emphasize the dark atmosphere of the manga and overall effectively convey the whole “beast” imaginary as wild / violent / unpleasant / animalistic.
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It's got sskk in it And in general it's just… Compared to canon, Beast is very very sskk centered. It's significantly shorter than the canon manga, and in a way that helped focus on sskk specifically, because it only had space to narrate one story, which is sskk's. And I don't know what to tell you, I'm here for the sskk. Of course I like Beast best.
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Beast Atsushi is great (cont.) Back to Beast Atsushi because he's everything, really. I love how when I went into Beast I was like “I mean, whatever Dazai is making of Atsushi under the pm, if can't possibly be any worse than the constant abuse Akutagawa had to experience 😊” AND I WAS PROVED WRONG. I mean, I think the fact alone that the author could come up with something worse is remarkable. Dazai's emotional manipulation and psychological torment is, I believe, the darkest facet of Dazai we ever witnessed, and it's extremely well executed. Beast Atsushi is so so unstable, so on the brim of mental breakdown and psychosis at every second. Him being made unable to let go of the past makes him live in a perpetual nightmare. And I feel like the way his character story is unwrapped is truly masterful, storytelling wise!!!! On the reader's first encounter with him, it's evident how deeply scarred and disturbed he is, but the reader can't tell why. That adds to the mystery and feeling of unsettling surrounding the character: his story is wrapped up by darkness and it's impossible to predict, just like he is– and it's deliciously unsettling, scary, to be unable to tell anything about what made him like he is except from guessing that it must have been something really bad. And yet even then /nothing/ could have prepared the reader to what his backstory really is? And when the traumatic event is finally unveiled, it's worse then any guess the reader could have made. Atsushi's back to the orphanage flashback passage is terrifying! He didn't undergo any harm, like it would have been easy to guess; on the contrary, his torment stems from having killed his abuser. But he did so at a point when he didn't represent a threat for him anymore, when he was proud of him, when he got close to resemble a father to his eyes; and all of this he realized too late; and now he lives in constant regret, constant terror of himself. It's great, really! And even then, Atsushi carries on with being. super cool lmao. Like yeah he's unstable and everything, he's wild and violent, but he's also still very kind. He's timid and blushes easily. He also feels a lot more mature than he does in canon, and it's nice to see. He's more confident and serious, and that's nice too. He REALLY is my favorite character.
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Some pretty cool scenes are in it Moving on, Beast has some truly amazing scenes. The Heartless Cur is amazing and builds up such an awesome character, Atsushi's introduction is petrifying, the Kenji / Akutagawa conversation is as deeply moving as it is cathartic. I won't be talking about the sskk café scene. Akutagawa's whole assault to the pm headquarters is rich of emotional scenes. I already talked about Atsushi's flashback and Dazai's suicide being wonderful passages both from technical and emotional standpoints. And the manga ending is just so good!!!!!!! Like it truly is the perfect ending– the way it ties up with the main story! How it feels like ada Akutagawa's story has just begun, a conclusion but also hope for what's to come. The “out behind our company's building there are some people of low character hanging about”– I can't stress enough how emotional this line, a final and definite tie to the main story, makes me, how meaningful it is in its quality of being both an ending, and a beginning. The last page showing Akutagawa at the center of the ada, it just moves me so deeply to see him being the protagonist, surrounded by a crowd of people who love and support him, getting his own chance at a life in the light 😭😭😭 “I'm going to live as an agency member. I'll solve cases, rescue the weak, and prove that I'm not evil.” Crying my eyes out 😭😭😭😭😭😭 And don't get me started on when Akutagawa and Atsushi's voices mix up to speak as one; I could never hope to be able to express what that makes me feel.
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Siblings dynamics are my jam I also love Beast because one of the main aspects that drives the plot is Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship, and I /love/ siblings relationships, and I //love// Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship. I don't think Gin's character was written well at all (because the author literally can't write female characters for the life of theirs), but eh, at least it reinforced the concept that Ryuunosuke loves Gin terribly and would be able to do anything for her. Atsushi and Kyouka's relationship, too, is to die for.
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The designs and manga art style slay Besides, the character designs are beautiful???? Akutagawa's Beast outfit is my second favorite out of the whole franchise, it's just such a look™. I love in general how rabid and messy Akutagawa looks in Beast, he feels so much more free? And like, good for him. In my head Beast Atsushi is the most handsome man in the entire franchise and I don't think I can take criticism on this. I find cutting off his longer bang such a witty way to represent not only how this Atsushi is different from the one we know (after all, that's the most remarkable and eye-catching feature of his appearance!), but also to symbolize how the cut with his past at the orphanage was harsh and violent. Characters designs aside, Hoshikawa's art style is GORGEUS. It's hard and rough and messy, it's dark and unpolished and violent and beautiful and exactly everything Beast is. It's PERFECT for the story, it's like it was made to portray it.
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Sskk is always great And that's just talking about the canon content but like. Beast means a Beast sskk. Which is basically new and improved sskk. And I like sskk. And I like every version of sskk but especially this version where they're even more violent and fucked up and madly in love with each other and evidently meant to be. So yeah.
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And this is like, just the very tip of the iceberg of what I love about Beast. Humbling offering you this Beast love letter in hope we can all give this novel the appreciation it deserves (๑˃‌ᴗ˂‌)۶
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Why the Llama Incident works
The noodle incident is a trope done in A LOT of shows (PNF has a whole TV tropes page dedicated to its noodle incidents). Technically getting disowned and raised by ocelots is a noodle incident in pnf... we never do know what gets him officially disowned and how he ends up in the care of the ocelots). The noodle incident is meant to just showcase that this character has a history of some sort.
Generally speaking, explaining a noodle incident is a bad idea because the unknown has infinite potential. The intrigue is part of what makes it interesting. People can come up with ideas that are absolutely out there themselves. Usually, coming up with something that will live up to the hype is impossible because the hype of the event has built it up to impossible levels.
Emphasis on the usually.
They literally called it a llama incident. They knew what a noodle incident was, and were purposefully playing with our expectations that it would be an unrevealed event. And, as I said before, PnF has already dealt with its fair share of noodle incidents that go unexplained.
And as a noodle incident it served its purpose. Generally a noodle incident will provide context on what the status quo is without spelling out the details. In Rollercoaster the Juggling Monkey's noodle incident tells us that this is not the first time Phineas and Ferb have had a Big Idea (in fact we never do get what Phineas and Ferb's first Big Idea was). In Milo Murphy's Law the Llama incident tells us that Milo and Melissa were getting into Murphy's Law shenanigans long before Zack came into the picture. Showing us that they're so familiar with each other that situations that might require more context to another person doesn't.
Now bear with me as I go on a bit of a tangent that I promise is related.
The main cast of Milo Murphy's Law is a trio, and one of its members is defined by being the new guy. Zack is kind of an audience surrogate. Melissa is Milo's childhood friend and Milo has lived with this all his life. Generally, they don't need to explain anything to each other, nor do they need to explain anything to their class who is already at least passingly familiar with Milo. But they do to Zack.
I don't necessarily think MML NEEDED the audience surrogate character per se. Quite frankly I think audience surrogate characters are rarely necessary. You can always just start with a group of friends and fill in context via implication. I think it's just significantly harder, because you run the risk of alienating your audience by not allowing them to get settled in what is going on or having your characters talk about things like they don't already know what is going on.
But I don't think its at all an inherently bad storytelling method. I personally find outsider POVs delightful, and a good audience surrogate character is an outsider POV, at least at the start. Zack being new to the whole Murphy's Law allowed him a story about choosing to engage with the hazardous kid, winning him loyal friends and a set of skills he never would have dreamed of before. We get to see him grow, and we wouldn't have seen that if he was Milo's friend the whole time.
On the other hand he also has a bit of a wild background, as the former lead singer of a locally famous lumberjack themed boy band. Which gives Milo and Melissa the chance to join a band. Or for Milo to have a real birthday party. A change in status quo provides opportunities for growth and change, for the whole cast, which is useful in more overarching stories... like MML. It's not NECESSARY of course. Zack could have been a classmate that had always kept his distance before he accidentally got tangled up with Milo and decided he was cool. But there's nothing wrong with him being straight up new either.
And at the most basic level, Zack's complete unfamiliarity provides a nice contrast to Melissa's familiarity and Milo's day to day life. Zack is starting from 0 while Milo has been dealing with this every single day of his life.
So Zack isn't going to know what the Llama Incident is. And while noodle incidents being unexplained is fun for the audience, it isn't going to be so fun for someone who is constantly living with people who know what this Llama Incident is. Of course they could have told Zack the noodle incident off screen, it would have made for a good gag to cut into the story with Melissa and Milo finishing telling Zack the story. But instead, we are treated to an episode that has Zack really beginning to slot into his life as Milo's friend.
Back to the main point.
MML is one of the only shows with enough sheer chaotic energy that it could actually pull off making a group of seemingly unrelated references into a cohesive genuinely interesting story. The whole show is things that could feasibly be noodle incidents, which makes it easy to get a baseline for what could have happened. Milo uses stuff in strange ways all the time, getting tangled up with weird animals and ending up in strange situations. There's no REAL reason to feel like we're missing out on too much. It sounds like a normal Milo situation, just with only him and Melissa... and the fact they keep bringing it up.
And really, if you think about it, its just Planned in Advance Meapless in Seattle. Meapless in Seattle was meant to be a bunch of unrelated clips meant to be a noodle incident of sorts. We wouldn't know what exactly would go down in that fake episode. But they managed to bring everything together into a really fun episode that made sense and honestly lived up to the hype. (At least for me). I mean. They somehow made it work. That's a feat in of itself.
The episode "Llama Incident" starts out implying a completely different noodle incident. We never learn how the kids end up on that branch. That's not important. That stuff happens all the time. Is the Llama Incident more interesting than the other stuff Milo gets into? Not particularly, but it DID involve him using more stuff he didn't normally use.
And the Llama Incident is told in the format of a story. Changing up the format of the episode is always a good way to make an episode feel fresh. I mean, look at The Remains of the Platypus. It's just an episode told backwards but its delightful chaotic fun. Or Delivery of Destiny. Really the only difference is the day follows the perspective of a delivery guy, but we get all our normal plot beats. But both are some of my favorite Phineas and Ferb episodes. If you remove their gimmicks they're pretty basic. Phineas and Ferb build a cheese themed amusement park, and Doofensmirtz's plan is only slightly more novel with brainwashing Perry. Phineas and Ferb building a ride and Doof juicing city hall are pretty typical of them, but Paul's semi-outsider POV (and being one of the closest characters we get to having the full picture of the story we the audience see), makes it feel fun and fresh. It makes the Llama Incident feel special. Even if it isn't my favorite unique episode format, it's still something fresh and fun.
So Milo and Melissa sort of tell the story a bit out of order, because they forget what pieces Zack would and wouldn't have context for or would or wouldn't find interesting. And, again, it's told as a story to Zack, so he asks questions. It's told while they are hanging from a branch, where they cut back to every once and a while to remind us that hey, the group is in the middle of a whole other Murphy's Law incident. We're getting two for one today.
But through the episode we get a bit of a Zack character arc. We've already established that Melissa and Milo are used to this, even if you weren't aware the way they were casually rating it at the beginning of the episode should tell you all you need to know. But Zack isn't completely used to this yet, so he's just nervous. He spends the episode using the story as a distraction, but being genuinely invested. In the end, the story acts as an inspiration to Zack, and he's able to help the group get out of the situation. AND for his trouble, he gets his own mysterious incident to reference. After half a season, he's truly part of the group now. He will continue to grow of course, trying to become braver and cleverer, and he's already made strides since the first episode. But even if Zack isn't really any less part of the group before or after its still a significant moment in Zack's character arc.
And then the Llama Incident comes back the next episode. The date was memorable to Milo, even throughout all of the other chaos in his life. And sometimes that's just how life is. And he uses his knowledge of the event, the way it stuck in his mind, to save him, Dakota and Cavendish from Pistachion's in Missing Milo. What we thought was going to just be a noodle incident, a running gag that functioned to establish just how used to this stuff Milo and Melissa were, turned out to be a plot point. To be fair we didn't NEED to know what the Llama incident was for Milo to choose to go there. We didn't need to know about the Llama Incident to know it was typical Murphy's Law shenanigans. It could have just been more out of context llama stuff. But now we the audience are in on the joke, so when Cavendish and Dakota express confusion, we can revel in the fact we know something they don't. Especially about two characters who themselves were slow revealing information about themselves to us... sure by that point we know their deal but at one point they were as mysterious and out of context to us as the Llama incident. And now we know what the Llama Incident is, and what their deal is.
The Woodpecker incident also is vaguely referred to later with the woodpecker whistle. We may not know the full story there, but it is still satisfying to see Milo's adventures giving him the skills and tools to deal with bigger, actually hostile, threats.
And at the end of the day, even if the Noodle Incidentness of the Llama Incident is ruined, it was immediately replaced with the Woodpecker incident. Which admittedly is never mentioned, but it doesn't need to be. The point of the Llama Incident was to draw attention to a specific incident to make a gag out of it. But they have incidents all the time. And we're privy to most of them. We sometimes get references to other incidents that we never fully get the context for. But we don't need context. We know how it'll go anyway because we have a whole show of effective noodle incidents.
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feralkat · 8 months
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The first build-a-birth prompt that came in and oh my God was it fun to write holy shit lol.
It got so long that I decided to split it into two parts, though 😅 so here's part one lmao. Also there will be twins - Atlas just doesn't know they've got twins in there so part two is gonna be pretty wild for them lol.
Word Count: 2.8k
Characters Used: Atlas (nonbinary afab OC) & Fen (cis-male OC)
WARNINGS: nonbinary character giving birth, birth denial, clothing birth, public birth, orgasm during labor. Also - I do use AFAB terms to describe the characters' genitalia so please be aware of that.
If it weren't already obvious, this is a birth/labor fetish fic so if you are a minor or not into that then DO NOT INTERACT. You have been warned.
Everyone had joked about how Atlas would end up going into labor during their baby-moon despite being only 36 weeks along. By the end of it they were beginning their 37th week, but even so their due date wasn't for three more weeks so it was easy to laugh those concerns off.
Except Atlas had been feeling increasingly more intense contractions since they left their hotel that morning that they were trying to brush off as Braxton hicks contractions.
At least until a small gush of fluid left a size-able damp spot on Atlas' leggings and made them realize they couldn't stay in denial for much longer about what was happening.
They were in labor.
Though, technically, labor didn't start during the baby-moon itself.
No, it started as they were leaving.
Now they were several hours away from the next stop and even further away from home where Atlas had everything set up to have a nice, relaxing, empowering birth with just themselves and their husband.
"Shit," Atlas grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in the seat and pressing his forehead against the cool glass of the window as he felt a contraction start.
"Babe? You alright?"
Atlas glanced over at their husband, hazel eyes peaking out from behind blue and green dyed bangs. "My water broke," they mumbled in an exhale, taking in another deep breath and squeezing their eyes shut as they felt the pressure deep inside their pelvis drop even lower.
"Oh... Oh!" Fen exclaimed, having taken a moment to fully comprehend what Atlas said. "Guess those weren't just Braxton hicks contractions, huh?" Fen chuckled nervously, reaching over to take Atlas' hand.
"Yeah, guess not," Atlas sighed as the contraction passed.
"Do you think we'll make it home?" Fen asked, "If not I can look at hotels around the next stop. It won't be home but at least it won't be on a bus."
"Um," Atlas paused, thinking back to when the contractions first started around 10AM. It was nearly 6PM now, but for the majority of the time the contractions weren't too bad. The last half hour or so, Atlas had noticed growing pressure against his hips and lower back but assumed it was from the not-very-comfy bus seats. But then their water broke and that pressure had gotten worse without the cushion. "I don't know," they answered after a few seconds.
"Okay, how about... I'll book us a hotel near the next stop just in case and we'll reassess once we get there," Fen offered.
Atlas nodded their approval of the plan, grateful for Fen's ability to think logically even in panic-inducing moments.
Over the next two hours, Fen gently coached Atlas through contraction after contraction. The deep rumble of his voice, strong hand holding Atlas', and his general presence helped immensely to keep Atlas calm and focused despite everything else.
At some point Fen pushed the armrest between them out of the way so Atlas could lean on him, making for a much comfier position than sitting upright like they had been.
"There's... a lot of pressure," Atlas said between softly panted breaths. "I don't think it'll be much longer," they added.
"Okay, we should be at the stop soon," Fen reassured, draping an arm over Atlas' shoulders to gently rub circles against Atlas' swollen stomach. "Then we can go straight to the hotel and have this baby like we planned," Fen said, voice dipping into a low purr against Atlas' ear.
It made a shiver go down Atlas' spine, clit throbbing and making them aware of exactly how aroused they already were just from Fen talking to them and giving them instructions - even if those instructions were mainly how and when to breathe.
God, Atlas wished they were home.
A contraction brought Atlas out of their thoughts, making them tense until Fen reminded them to relax and breathe through it.
That was getting really hard, but Atlas made an effort. They took in a deep breath, trying to relax their body as much as they could as they let that breath out slowly.
"Again, babe, do it again," Fen urged, reaching down to massage the outside of Atlas' thigh where the muscles were still all tense.
"Ngh," Atlas grunted as they sucked in another breath, screwing their eyes shut as the contraction peaked and the pressure between their hips increased tenfold. Hardly even realizing it, they found themselves bearing down against it for the remainder of the contraction.
Once it was done, Atlas shifted to reposition so they were leaning back against Fen, one foot up on the seat and the other on the floor. The position let them spread their thighs a bit more and they moaned softly when they felt that pressure drop deep into their pelvis. "H-Hey, Fen," they mumbled, unable to help but rock their hips a little, "I think I have to push."
Fen didn't reply right away, lifting his head to glance around the bus first. There weren't many people, thankfully, and it seemed like they'd be getting to the bus stop soon but neither of them were sure if it'd be soon enough. "Okay. We're almost to the stop and the hotel is just around the corner from there. Try to breathe through it until we get there," Fen instructed, calm aside from a slight tremble to his otherwise even voice.
"I'll try, but..." Atlas trailed off, feeling their midsection tighten in another strong contraction.
"You got this, love. I know it's hard, I know you want to push but let's breathe through it," Fen cooed, his voice low and lips brushing against Atlas' ear as he spoke. "Feel the pressure, notice it and accept it as you breathe," he instructed, taking slow even breaths for Atlas to follow.
"Yeah, 'm feeling th-the pressure," Atlas groaned in one quick exhale, screwing their eyes shut and trying their best to match Fen's breathing. What really got them through the intense heavy pressure urging them to push, though, was focusing on Fen's fingers rubbing their thigh.
"You're doing so good sweet-tart," Fen rumbled, "Focus on my voice and we'll get through this."
Atlas nodded, unable to answer as they tried not to make a lot of noise. They could feel that heaviness shift and move down, knowing the baby's head was fully engaged and working its way through their cervix by now.
"You've got this, babe, doing so good for me," Fen purred as the contraction peaked.
There was only so much Atlas could do, though, when the contractions were doing enough to work the baby down through their cervix even without them pushing.
Just as the contraction was ending, there was a loud 'boom' and the bus jolted, tires screeching as it came to a very sudden stop.
Within half a second of the sound, Fen had both arms wrapped tight around Atlas and didn't loosen his grip until the bus was completely stopped.
"Fuck, Atlas are you okay?" Fen asked, calm facade breaking for a moment as panic crept into his voice.
"Yeah, I think so," Atlas answered, taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm their racing heart. "Are you?"
"Yeah," Fen nodded, pressing a kiss against the top of Atlas' head.
"Sorry, folks!" the bus driver exclaimed, "Sounds like a tire gave up on us. The station has already been notified, though and someone should be here within the hour to fix us up."
Fen and Atlas sat in silence for a few seconds as that information sunk in. There was no way Atlas was going to make it through an extra hour - they were cutting it extremely close anyway.
"Fen," Atlas mumbled, tilting their head to look at their husband, "I don't know if... if we'll make it."
A small frown tugged at Fen's lips before he slowly answered, "Should we call an ambulance?"
"No," Atlas snapped, panic rising at just the mention of going to a hospital - especially one that was away from their home town that Atlas had never been to.
They've had enough medical trauma and shitty doctors to give them a lifetime of distrust for hospitals.
"Okay - That's okay," Fen reassured, finding one of Atlas' hands to hold. "Let's still try to breathe through it and we'll see how far we get."
"'Kay," Atlas grunted, hand tightening around Fen's as pain and pressure overwhelmed them.
The next couple of contractions went similarly, Atlas following Fen's instructions while trying to keep themselves quiet even as the pressure kept moving lower. It was getting difficult, though, especially when the intensity of the pressure didn't lessen at all after the most recent contraction ended.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Nghhh," Atlas whined, squirming against Fen as they tried to find some sort of position that wouldn't be as terrible. "So much pressure," they complained, arching their back a little before collapsing against Fen with a defeated whine.
"I could give you a distraction, if you want," Fen offered, one of his hands trailing down over Atlas' swollen stomach to rub against the inside of their thigh before gently trailing over the seam of their leggings.
"Ah!" Atlas gasped at the unexpected sensation, their clit already swollen and sensitive from how Fen had been talking before. "Please," they said in a rush of air, thighs twitching open more.
Taking a glance around, Fen slipped his hand into Atlas' leggings once he was sure no one would see. "There you go, sweets, just focus on my hand and my voice," Fen encouraged, quickly finding Atlas' swollen clit and slowly rubbing circles over it.
Dropping his head back against Fen's shoulder, Atlas bit back a moan. It did help, though, able to focus on a different sensation rather than pain and pressure. "Sh-shit," Atlas groaned as another contraction hit and Fen sped up his fingers as it peaked. The pleasure took the edge off of the pain but stood no chance against easing the pressure and urges to push that Atlas felt. "Ngh! Ah, f-fuck," Atlas grunted as the contraction peaked.
Fen was telling them to pant through it, suck in air and then blow it out, do whatever they could just so they weren't holding their breath. That was hard, though, and Atlas found themselves giving little pushes with every forced exhale.
They didn't have a choice in the matter and fuck did it feel good to give in a little bit.
It was only after the contraction ended that Atlas realized on top of the pressure there was a new sensation just below their cervix - like they were being stretched and filled to their breaking point.
Everything was so intense, though, Atlas couldn't even say anything about it. They were reduced to a squirming, whimpering mess as the pleasure warred with the discomfort and that urge to push completely overtook them when their abdomen tightened again.
And Atlas was right - it felt so good to finally do what their body wanted them to.
Between that and Fen's fingers moving expertly over their clit, Atlas found themselves on the verge of an orgasm as they gasped in a breath and pushed.
That's what did it, Atlas unable to help but cry out and buck their hips as the orgasm washed over them even as their body kept bearing down.
By the time Atlas was coming down from that absolutely incredible orgasm, they could feel that that heaviness had completely filled their cunt and they were sure if they pushed just a little more that their lips would start to bulge and part.
"Oh my God, are you having a baby?!"
The shrill voice of a concerned stranger made Atlas' face go bright red, realizing she probably had heard them cumming just now.
Fen didn't remove his hands from Atlas' leggings which made Atlas' face burn even brighter as Fen tried to reassure the worried passenger.
Atlas was past the point of being able to speak coherently, though, especially as another contraction started not even seconds later.
"Oh - Ah - Nghh - No," Atlas whined as quietly as they could, their body now pushing without their consent. "Oh God, oh God. Fen!" Atlas gasped, feeling their hole start to stretch as the baby's head started to inch out.
But Fen was still trying to convince the lady - and now several other worried passengers - not to call 911 because they had it handled and that Atlas didn't want to go to the hospital.
Groaning through gritted teeth, Atlas felt the baby's head slide back in as the contraction ended. But they didn't get that relief for long, their contractions almost on top of each other by now.
Atlas hardly even noticed the small crowd that had gathered around their seat, all of their focus on trying (and partially failing) not to push again.
It didn't make much of a difference, though.
The baby's head was slowly making its way through. Every contraction brought it out further and further even though it always slipped back in as soon as the contractions were over.
At least until it didn't.
Unable to speak, Atlas grabbed Fen's wrist and moved his hand down just enough that he'd be able to feel the way Atlas' lips were bulging and the baby's head peaking out through them.
Atlas felt Fen's whole body tense for a moment, words faltering as he tried to soothe everyone who was trying to call an ambulance.
Then, he regained composure and with two fingers spread Atlas' lips just a little further so he could press his hand against the baby's head. With that position, Fen incidentally had the ball of his hand pressed firmly against Atlas' sensitive clit which sent entirely conflicting sensations through their body again.
As the next contraction came, Atlas found themselves unintentionally grinding against Fen's hand as they moved their hips in little circles like they had been this whole time.
And it felt so fucking good but also way too intense at the same time and Atlas couldn't hold back their moans, grunts, and whines anymore.
When that contraction peaked, Atlas gave a series of little pushes each accompanied with a small grunt.
It wasn't doing anything, though, and Atlas soon realized that Fen was keeping the baby from progressing more with firm but gentle pressure against its head.
"Hey, they're transferring us to a different bus, sweet-tart, it just got here," Fen's voice right in Atlas' ear was the only thing Atlas could hear outside of their own harsh breathing and pounding heartbeat. "The aisle is too narrow for me to pick you up but as soon as we're off the bus I'll be able to carry you, okay?"
Fuck.
There wasn't any other choice, though, so after Fen removed his hand from Atlas' leggings, Atlas slowly adjusted so they could stand.
Fen supported them the whole time but with every step Atlas could feel their labia bulging and spreading more and more. Not to mention the way their hole was starting to burn with the stretch as the baby began to crown.
The step down from the bus was the worst and the baby was nearly at a full crown by the time Fen was picking them up to carry them over to the other bus.
Thank fuck the other bus was a little bigger so Atlas didn't have to walk to a seat. Especially since a contraction started just as Fen was stepping up into the bus.
All Atlas could do was bury their face against Fen's shoulders and sob as that burning sensation just continued to get worse, their body pushing even though they were actively trying not to.
"Fen!" Atlas squealed as the rest of the baby's head popped out all at once, making their leggings bulge obscenely. "I-It's - Oh God - th-the head is - it's out," they stammered, clinging to Fen even as their husband gently laid them on the row of seats in the back of the bus.
"Okay, okay - Babe, just, I need you to let go of me so I can - uh - look and help," Fen said in a mumbled rush, standing once Atlas let go before kneeling between Atlas' feet. "We need to get these pants off, okay?" he asked, already reaching for the waistband of the leggings.
"Wait - waitwaitwait," Atlas gasped, keening as their abdomen cramped and tightened again. They could feel the baby turning and a shoulder trying to come out but their leggings didn't let that happen.
At least until Fen managed to pull the legging down - ignoring Atlas' pleas because they needed to come off - and several things happened all at once.
The first shoulder slid out, closely followed by the second one and, before Fen even had Atlas' leggings to their knees, the baby was born with a large gush of fluid.
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emagios · 29 days
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"We've told you before, right?" "Not everybody likes arcanists, Sonetto. They are dangerous. And because they are dangerous they are feared. They are not human. And those that are not human are different, and those that are different are hated. And you, Sonetto, are an arcanist. You will not find friends outside nor would they want to be. But we're not like them. That is why you are here. If not for us, you would have gotten yourself into worse situations. Maybe you would never have been in any situation except dead and forgotten. We don't want that for you, and that is why we protect you. Keeping you here in this house is for your protection. Here you can use your abilities as much as you like. As free as you like. All we ask of you is to stay, and in turn you use your abilities into good use. Like helping us." [AU in which Sonetto was never founded by the SPDM, rather gets adopted by a family instead. However, her abilities are manifested early. Seeing the potential in what exactly her magic does, her foster parents do not persecute her, instead using her ability of creation to compose works of art and sell it. ] I'm not much of a lore buff so idk how the magic system works. So I'm just assuming that when arcanists start showing signs of magic, it first starts off as "wild" magic. Random bursts of shazam and all that. As they grow up, then it starts to become something distinct. The game makes it seem that arcanists can cast "spells" or just regular magic (Like with Sonetto and Matilda having similar moves) and at the same time they have a magic that is unique to them. Matilda with her divinity, TF with her healing. Sonneto's case is maybe similar to Blonney in that it involves creating something from their imagination. Furthermore is that Sonneto's ability require intention? or at least a form of emotion and passion (which imo is so cool character-wise because the irony is so so good Sonneto, who strives to be the Foundations perfect soldier. Who strives to follow in its ideal of order before opinion. Before emotion, yet even her own magic contests that. Or maybe I got the details wrong and I'm being delusional LOL but I digress) So yeah, that's what I have in mind so far. I'm glad I finally got around to drawing it out, because the idea has been itching at me since Christmas lmao. Also! I'm also thinking of planting her to be somewhere maybe around the late 19th to early 20th century? Like the rest of the suitcase squad, Vertin will eventually encounter her as part of her being assigned in locating "unregistered/rogue" arcanists in hopes of recruiting them to the Foundation. Yes this idea was mainly made with vernetto / tk14 in mind lol But there's also some schneider mention for the verschneider angst ofc
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nintendont2502 · 4 months
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cant find the original post but a while ago i impulsively decided to add all 32 sburb players (betas, alphas, alternians *and* beforans) to a random name generator and then randomly mix them up - characters kept their original first name and class, and took on the last name and aspect of whatever character they took the role of. this was just meant to be a funny 1am experiment so i could laugh at the cursed results
...yeah it has lore now. i cant stop thinking about it. help.
Beta Kids:
Gamz Egbert (Gamzee) - Bard of Breath. One of the most chill guys ever. Constantly zoned the hell out. Loves clowns :0) him and his dad bond over it. Hangs out with Kari a lot over vc, where it's basically just Kari talking at him uninterrupted (the kid needs it sometimes)
Kari Strider (Kankri) - Seer of Time. Gifted kid and he won't let you forget it. Permanently lives in a sweater vest even though he literally lives in Texas. Constantly annoyed by how childish and immature his older brother is. Lectures him a lot. Lectures his friends a lot. Has 'visions of his past lives' (aka occasional memories from his post-scratch/alternate timeline counterparts). Lectures his friends about how theyre real and valid whenever they make give him shit for it (which happens a lot). Dedicated pacifist - for now, anyway.
John Lalonde - Heir of Light. Golden child. Has an over-bearing mother that constantly pushes him into learning instruments/lanugages/skills, participating in competitions and events, winning award after award. Sure, he's... kinda sick of doing things all day every day, and he doesn't really want to do any of this, but... shouldn't he do it anyway? Even if just for his Mom? Hell, he can't really complain about it, right? He has such a good life! He goes horseback riding every sunday! Sure, it sucks that he doesn't have any free time that isn't controlled by his mother, but he can deal with it. It's fine.
(Things get even worse during the three year trip when Wuh Oh! Gender crisis time! Except he can’t be a girl because he was always meant to be his mom’s perfect son, and he’s already let her down once by letting her die, right? He can just… live with this. Its fine. It's not that bad. It's for her, after all.)
Roxy Harley - Rogue of Space. Grew up living on a small island somewhere in the Pacific that her grandfather 'won in a poker game' (aka probably scammed someone out of, knowing him) - or so he says, anyway. He also used to say he got Roxy the same way every time she asked where she came from! Haha very funny Roxy definitely loved hearing that and not a real response every time she asked where she came from and why she didn’t have any parents. That was great. Her grandfather died when she was fairly young, leaving her alone on the island with nothing left of him but the small inventions he left around the place to make life easier for her. She grows up learning how to maintain them, and although she tries becoming a great inventor like her grandfather, she just... doesn't have the skill. Hacking, on the other hand - shes great at that shit! She finally cracks her final goal - cracking into her grandfathers servers - just before her friend Gamz's 13th birthday, finding mostly boring shit - expenses, customer complaints, legal threats, budgets, etc. What's mildly more interesting to her, however, is the insane amount of money (if they lived on the mainland, they'd be fucking LOADED), and a .exe file for a really cool looking game, with a note from her grandfather congratulating her on finally getting in. And hey, would you look at that? Its multiplayer! And all her friends are free - even John, who through sheer coincidence found himself with a free weekend after his tutors came down with various mysterious illnesses and injuries. It's like the universe wants them to play the game or some shit! Haha wild
Alpha Kids:
Raph Crocker (Rufioh) - Rogue of Life. The living embodiment of all those business major memes. Dude is *dedicated* to the Crockercorp brand - he's determined that one day, he'll climb the ranks and become head of the company, and hopefully lead it just as well as his great-grandfather did. He unironically wears a suit everywhere, and seems committed to sounding like a 50 year old boardroom exec trapped in the body of a 16 year old - although it isn't hard to get him to crack. As much as he pretends he has no patience for his online friends and their constant stories of 'living on a remote island' or 'living in the post-apocalyptic future' (seriously guys, he isn't that gullible), he does genuinely care about them. Besides, when you're stuck in the house all day, there isn't much else to do.
Tuna Strider (Mituna) - Heir of Heart. Trans king. Exudes pure 'disney channel older brother' energy. Shithead (affectionate). Looks up to his Bro, a famous pacifist who resisted the Batterwitch's rule with a global peaceful protest... only to be killed the moment he became too much of a threat. Yyeah. Tuna has... some thoughts about how that should have gone down - most of them involving swords. Or guns. Or both. Maybe if his Bro had a sweet katana, the world wouldn't have been flooded! Although it's too late for his Bro, Tuna has decided to take up the fight in his stead by creating his own 'sick as fuck gun-sword' with whatever scrap metal he can find in the apartment (his Bro, for some reason, didn't think to leave him any useable weapons. cringe). He's got the sword part down great, but the gun... not so much.
Vris Lalonde (Vriska) - Thief of Void. The second half of the 't4t post apocalypse chaos squad', as Tuna calls them. Girl doxxes people for fun - what are they gonna do? Doxx her back? lmao good luck with that losers - closest youre gonna get is still 400 years off. Constantly daring her friends to do stupid shit and quote, 'stop being so fucking boringggg'. it usually works on tuna. sometimes on dave. she still hasnt gotten raph yet, but *one day*...
Dave English - Knight of Hope. smooth talking mile a minute inventor who *loves* trying to 'pitch' his latest invention to his friends. its become almost a game to them, where theyll take turns bidding increasingly ridiculous amounts for an umbrella that shoots seeds ('for easy planting in the rain yknow') or a beat-boxing robot ('i dont even need to explain this one just look at it man. cool as shit'). hell, even raph gets involved sometimes, usually turning it into a shark tank style negotiation. dave swears hes keeping a tally of how much everyone 'owes' him, and claims that one day hes settling that bill. his inventions are genuinely pretty impressive, especially considering his limited resources - being stuck alone on a remote island makes sourcing parts pretty hard. he probably wouldnt even need to jokingly scam his friends in order to jokingly sell his inventions - they jokingly sell themselves. he just thinks scamming people is fun.
Alternia Rapid Fire Round lets goo
Cronus Megido - Bard of Time. relentlessly flirts with anyone of a higher caste than him in the hopes that, if he can get into a quadrant with them, he'll have more protection than he would as just a solo rustblood. this strategy ultimately fails when he flirts with a particular Serket one too many times and gets killed for it. damn. oh well.
Sollux Nitram - so so tired of everyones shit. the only person that actually vaguely got along with Cronus (because he was the only person that Cronus didn't flirt with). just wants to play his pokemon in peace man stop dragging him into drama
Damara Captor - Witch of Doom. 'curses' people. seems weirdly unsurprised when those curses actually work. after cronus' death, a rumour went around that she was the one who caused it, and she absolutely wasnt denying that shit - now no one wants to fuck with her, and those that do? well, she still has her psiionics.
Meulin Vantas - Mage of Blood. Basically the only fucking thing holding this friendship group together. Despite all the complicated as shit relationships - the friendships, the exes, the mortal enemies, the attempted (and successful) murders - Meulin somehow manages to navigate the web of relationships and keep everyone relatively stable
Jaydee Leijon (Jade) - Witch of Heart. catgirl :33. Wishes she lived closer to everyone so she could see them 33: especially her moirail!! at least she still has her lusus to playfight with
Karkat Maryam - Knight of Space. basically a tboy vampire. Used to live in the caverns, but after he realised he was a dude, he began to feel uncomfortable with how oppressive and 'feminine' the caverns were. ran away. struggles with his identity - the contrast between the typical female jadeblood standards of being caring and nurturing, and the typical alternian female standards of being violent and aggressive, leave him stuck in the middle, unsure of what to do or who hes 'allowed' to be. swings wildly between being aggressive and letting himself care about his friends. he eventually figures out that gender stereotypes are bullshit and he can care abt his friends and still be a dude. hes still an asshole though <3
Eridan Pyrope - Prince of Mind. Incredibly committed to a strict moral code - which... no one can figure out. it seems to vary wildly depending on what suits him best at the specific moment. Used to roam Alternia looking for 'criminals' to 'improve' or, if that failed, 'bring to justice' with one Serket, but after an incident involving the loss of three eyes and one arm... they arent exactly on speaking terms.
Dyrrhk Serket (Dirk) - Prince of Light. i dont know how else to say it this mfer makes saw traps. he claims its to 'improve' people - by putting them through some specific trap, it... fixes a percieved issue? even if its an issue only he can see. and if they die in the trap? well, they should have just tried harder right. they probably deserved it. he isnt even doing this out of a desire to hurt people hes *genuinely* convinced that what hes doing is helping, and thinks that this is the best way to go about it. puts eridan through one one day, resulting in the loss of his vision, and after he (finally) figured out that 'huh maybe that wasnt a good idea', he... apologises. lmao just kidding that would be too reasonable - instead he mind controls one of his friends into putting *dyrrhk* into a trap of his own design, resulting in the loss of an eye and an arm. he seems genuinely convinced that this should make them even. everythings fine now, right? he scares me just on a conceptual level
Tavros Zahhak - Page of Void. hes basically a himbo im ngl. hes tall hes ripped hes clumsy and he cant help but draw attention to himself wherever he goes - attention he *hates*. moirails with jaydee. theyre cute <>
Latula Makara - Knight of Rage. clown... despite the usual purpleblood stereotypes, she doesnt really get angry all that often - most of the time, shes just vibing. but when she *does* get angry? its always for a reason. theres always a specific goal shes fulfilling through that anger (even if its just intimidating someone into doing something). i have the least thoughts about her but shes interesting
Jaiikk Ampora (Jake) - Page of Hope. Just a funny lil guy that likes playing pirates :) all the lowbloods he roleplays with definitely want to be there and don't feel coerced by being 'asked' by a literal violetblood :)) if people die during his 'games' well that sucks but he cant exacly stop playing because of a few small accidents right? ..yyeah. hes incredibly ignorant of his position in society and how that effects other people, even if (especially if) those consequences are deadly for others. after a certain point its just easier to not know whats going on than to face all the damage youve caused right. claims he loves the ocean and dreams of living in the depths. never goes into the ocean. hes a weird guy
Equius Peixes - Heir of Life. Future heir to the Alternian throne. Determined to lead Alternia into a new era of strength, no matter the methods to get there. moirails with Jaiikk (which absolutely doesnt help the whole 'Jaiikk accidentally pressuring lowbloods into doing things for him' thing. bro has scary dog privileges with the future emperor looming behind him at all times)
Even faster Beforus speed round because you cant legally make me think about them for more than five seconds
Porrim Megido - Maid of Time
Feferi Nitram - Witch of Breath
Rose Captor - Seer of Doom
Nepeta Vantas - Rogue of Blood
Kurloz Leijon - Prince of Heart
Aradia Maryam - Mage of Space
Aranea Pyrope - Sylph of Mind
Kanaya Serket - Sylph of Light
Jane Zahhak - Maid of Void
Meenah Makara - Thief of Rage
Terezi Ampora - Seer of Hope
Horuss Peixes - Page of Life
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lionlena · 27 days
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I Hold You (Oberyn Martellxf!reader) one shot
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Summary: Oberyn has a nightmare about his sister's death, which makes him fear that he will lose you too.
Warning: angst, hurt/comfort, canonical death of a character, tragic death, blood, mention of rape…
Title inspired by the song: CLANN - I Hold You
A/N: I am obsessed with thinking, how tragic and terrible was the fate of Elia Martell.
Also, watch this: Robert's Rebellion by Oberyn Martell
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Hot air blew across their faces as they ran through the courtyard filled with the Dornish sun. From time to time, the shadow of the palm trees growing along the courtyard fell on them. Her dark hair bounced on her shoulders and her bare feet hit on the ground.
She held his hand tightly. With strength so contrasting to her petite body.
And she laughed. Oh… What a sweet sound that was. Like the nectar they drank for breakfast in the morning.
He didn't resist her as she pulled him towards the fountain. He never resisted her.
Even though she was weaker and so delicate, she was able to capture anyone's heart, especially his. She walked gracefully among the vipers and knew that no one would dare to hurt her. And if someone like that was found, he would make sure that such a fool suffered unimaginable torment.
Oberyn loved her like no one else. His sweet sister. Elia Martell. His friend, confidant of secrets, and comforter. He spent so many long hours with his head on her lap as she ran her hand through his raven hair and explained to him that not everything could be solved by force. And that he can't be mad all the time. She taught him how to read poetry. For her, he began writing poems.
She wasn't just his sister. She was part of him. An integral part of his wild soul. It was like a cozy, cool hole in which an angry desert viper hid when the desert heat was deadly.
When she jumped into the fountain and started splashing water on him, he laughed happily and his dark eyes sparkled. She took a step back so that the water flowing from the marble snake's mouth soaked her head. She waved her hand at him, encouraging him to do the same. He wanted to do it and feel the pleasant coolness of the water. But when he took a step forward, the water flowing down his sister's head turned red. His heart stopped and she looked at him in surprise, as if she hadn't realized that her face was turning red with blood.
She extended her hand towards him. With a heavy heart, the prince took a step closer but stopped when he noticed the bodies of two children floating in the red water. He heard his sister scream as she was now holding her dress covered in blood. She lifted the material up, revealing her thighs covered in slippery goo and blood.
He felt bile rising in his throat and struggled to find his voice.
"Elia," he croaked. "Do not leave me!"
His sister looked at him with eyes full of suffering, and suddenly her face turned into yours. The prince suddenly stretched his hand towards you, grabbed your dress, and shouted:
"NO!"
*
Oberyn woke up and sat on the bed, breathing heavily. His body was covered in sweat, his hair was stuck to his forehead, and he felt a bitter taste in his mouth. He glanced sideways at you and his heart tightened. You looked so peaceful as you slept next to him, still with a blissful smile on your face after he took proper care of you and brought you to multiple orgasms.
He carefully leaned over you and brushed your hair away from your face. You lived, you breathed and you were fine. And yet he couldn't shake the feeling that your life was as fragile as his sister's was. You reminded him so much of her. You were delicate and intelligent, sensitive and full of empathy. It was both a blessing and a curse for him. Sometimes he even thought that it was his sister's spirit that put you on his path. To remember again what it's like to have someone he will trust with all his heart and who will surround him with care and love.
Oberyn sighed heavily and moved away from your warm body. He sat on the edge of the bed and was lost in his thoughts. He was the best warrior in Dorne, and yet he failed to protect his sister. What if he fails you? Would you be safer without him? No... He shook his head. The thought of not knowing where you were or what was happening to you was even more terrifying to him.
While he was lost in his thoughts, you woke up and immediately realized what the problem was. This wasn't the first time he had nightmares. Your sweet prince was full of life every day, full of jokes... He was also arrogant, conceited, and proud, but when nightmares came, he was sad and needed support. His entire demeanor changed and you saw a side that few people saw.
You carefully stood up and sat down behind him. You hugged him from behind and placed your chin on his shoulder. You didn't say anything, you just waited for him to speak.
Oberyn sighed, feeling the comforting warmth of your body against his back. In moments like these, he was grateful for your love and understanding. You were a special woman to him. He had never opened up to any other lovers like he did to you. And maybe that's why, paradoxically, he had nightmares more often than before.
He placed his hand on top of yours, which was resting on his belly.
"I'm fine... You can go back to sleep... I'm sure you're still tired from what we did." He tried to make his voice sound convincing, but you could hear the note of sadness and desperation.
You nuzzled his neck as a signal that you weren't going anywhere and tightened your grip. For a moment, a small smile appeared on his face. Then he sighed and took a few deep breaths. And finally, he whispered:
"I saw her again... First it was a memory from our youth. Happy life at Sunspear. We ran to the fountain to cool off..." His voice suddenly became quieter and trembling. "When she entered the water... The water turned to blood, and then... Her face... Her..."
You noticed a tear rolling down his cheek and hugged him even tighter. You pressed your lips against his cheek, feeling the salty taste.
"Her face turned into yours…" Oberyn finished and you sighed softly.
Sometimes you would give anything to take this pain and these terrible memories away from him. Not only were you hurt by your loved one's suffering, but by poor Elia's suffering. When you first heard her story, you cried. You didn't know her, but it seemed so unfair what happened to her and her children. And even though House Lannister had done nothing wrong to you, you hated them as much as Oberyn did.
However, you knew that no one in the world had the power to undo what had already happened. Living in memories led nowhere. So instead of thinking about the past, you focused on the present and comforting your loved one.
"But I'm here... And I'm holding you. You feel my warmth and my breath."
Oberyn nodded.
"But what if one day I can't protect you from the horrors of this world?"
You thought for a moment. His question was one that had no easy answer. Neither of you could promise that nothing bad would happen. You finally answered slowly.
"If something bad happens to me, I will be sure that you did everything to protect me. And I will die with the feeling that I was loved... And that I will be mourned."
Oberyn took a shaky breath and gripped your hands tighter. Your answer was honest, painful and... somehow comforting. But... No, he didn't do everything to protect you. Suddenly he turned towards you and cupped your face in his hands.
"Be my wife."
"What?"
His sudden reaction took you by surprise. The candlelight reflected in his brown eyes, and you could see the sincerity in them. It definitely wasn't one of his jokes or teasing.
"Be my wife." He repeated, his voice becoming more confident, almost demanding, even though you knew he would never force you to do anything.
"I thought that... That you didn't want this... That you were comfortable with our relationship."
Oberyn smiled softly at you and rubbed his thumb against your cheek.
"Because it suits me, but... As strange as it may sound, since I found you, I no longer need other women and I want to provide you with even greater security. And this will happen when you gain the title of princess. Hurting a prince's lover is not the same as hurting his wife. Everyone will think twice. Besides, if something happens to me, you will be left with my estate and under the full protection of the Martell family."
You frowned and looked away from him, and he didn't understand your reaction. He thought you would be happy.
"What happened, my love?" He asked tenderly and gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him.
"You talk about marriage like a business. Something that will make you sleep soundly at night."
He finally realized what the problem was and immediately kissed your forehead.
"Oh, forgive me, my desert flower. It wasn't meant to sound like that. Your safety is important here, but... I want you to be my wife because I love you like no one else. Because you are part of my heart and the air that I breathe. Because I can't imagine a day without your kiss, without your look. I just want to make official what I have known for a long time... I am yours and only yours."
Even if you tried, you couldn't stop the smile that appeared on your face. His words easily warmed your heart and all you could do was whisper:
"I agree."
Oberyn smiled and kissed you gently on the lips. However, you could see that he still hadn't fully recovered from the nightmare. So you stroked his jaw and pulled him towards the center of the bed. You knew that in the morning you would want to discuss your wedding and that you would have many questions, but you knew that you both needed to rest.
"Let's go back to sleep. You're tired."
You could tell he wanted to argue with you, but you had a trick up your sleeve. You laid on your back and patted your belly and you knew he would always take him up on that offer. It was his favorite way to fall asleep after a nightmare. He always wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in your lap as you stroked his hair soothingly.
It was like that this time too.
He snuggled into your body and you started stroking his dark hair.
"Rest now, my love. It's all right. I'm here and I'm holding you."
Oberyn closed his eyes, listening to your calm voice. The fear of losing you was still there in him, and he squeezed you a little tighter as if hoping that the gods wouldn't be able to break you free from his grasp.
"I've got you." He whispered and slowly fell into sleep, hoping he wouldn't have another nightmare.
Rest now, my love It's all right The dark is gone I am here I hold you
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Pernament tag list: @harriedandharassed
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