#he gets to be a weird freak sometimes but not nearly enough

[ot3]

the thing about jojo yaoi is theres a lot of it that's really good but despite it's massive popularity jotakak is not one of them. you can make jotakak good if you're willing to put in a lot of work building your mind palace which is fair because a lot of jojo requires a mind palace to make good. but i'm just not sure why in a world that has so much yaoi on offer you'd spend your mental energy on jotakak

[azulsluver]

haunted house au??!! Is that a new event coming up? Will it relate to the last chapter 👀👀

Originally, bunch of ghouls who haunted this old house/apartment or whatever. I wasn't paying a lot of attention to that au but realizing the Halloween event was perfect for starters. For those who read the event then it would make sense of how the characters came to be in the world MC lives in.

Here are the basics of how they accustomed to their new life.

tw: yandere, ghost!twst, mentions of attempted suicide, obsessive/possessive behavior, mentions of gore-ish fantasies and acts, nudity (non-sexual), they watch you sleep every night.

Your apartment is small. With them all inside as ghosts they can physically interact with each other so it gets pretty cramped. They’re attached to you, literally, they aren’t able to leave the place they’re in unless you track down Crowley or COUGH COUGH the man who owned the store. Also moving places since it is “haunted house”, will lead to them following along.

-What did he do to deserve this? To be transferred into a world with no magic, and to be a ghost again! He can't physically touch you or use any sort of magic to collar you, it's a nightmare for Riddle when you break some of the (unknown) rules.

-To keep it short, Riddle is a noxious ghost to have around. He practically breaths down your neck for everything you do. You'll mostly see Riddle inside your bedroom, along with many others who are trying to get comfortable. Besides the bedroom, Riddle is one of the many ghosts who will volunteer to go along with you for your errands. That is if people like Ace or Floyd who always wanna tag with you.

-The second person to be leaning over your shoulder is Trey, he’s more than curious of your everyday life. What type of shampoo you wear, lotion or perfume that reminds him of you. He’s not a nauseous but you’d wish he’d leave you alone as well. The veil covering his face burns into your mind of the people he tore so easily, no matter how much he smiles sweetly at you.

-Like clingy dogs, Deuce is nearly always on you. Be it a hug, hand holding, or trapping you in his arms, he can’t stand the thought of separation now that you’re here and alive. Second clingy dog; Cater. He’s so fascinated by everything and you, often times teasing Deuce to not hoard you all for himself. Cater does bother you as much as Deuce does, his odd fixation on you is unknown and sometimes freaks even Ace out. But Cater thinks it’s adorable, funny even.

-Nobody really eats anything. They don’t have the stomach in your world to actually enjoy cuisines like you.

-Ruggie and Ace are always pulling pranks on you, inside your safe haven has been stripped from you completely. Where privacy privileges are nonexistent as the ghosts free roaming in your home. You’re always on edge with these psychopaths who have no problem using your fear to their advantage.

-None aren’t as kind as Silver however, but he doesn’t bring you much comfort. When everyone feels no guilt of killing the innocent, Silver is nothing but human to you as he shared a deep meaningful conversation with you during the late night. Times where you couldn’t sleep and he just so happens to be awake there for you.

-Speaking of clingy, Leona, Rook, Jack, Kalim, Floyd, AND Malleus are there to make your mental sanity DROP. With their weird confessions and obsession of wanting to cut you open and eat you is bad enough. Their touches burn like hell. Oh will somebody solve the problem of these big mean demons….

-The shop is your solution. With the shop owner spewing nonsense into your ear, hope drains when you catch upon the fact ghosts like them will stay until your time has been served.

-Like death themselves, until you can no longer breath will you be free, not unless one of them manages to snag your soul into their realm.

-However, there is a part-time solution if you wish to have peace and quiet. A sacred scroll that mostly works like a phone seeing how it needs to recharge energy to work; as it is unbreakable, it’s used to ward off evil spirits for a whole week before falling into a deep recharge for a month.

-Was it a scam, maybe, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

-Now there are some who aren’t as obnoxious as the rest, that being Vil, Jamil, Trey, Azul, Jade, Lilia, and Silver. With your space being respected if asked, they’re more curious about your world. Not being obnoxious doesn’t mean they aren’t playful, often making comments on how you’re gonna die. What position, what days, places, all the scenarios that feeds into your brain like scratching chalkboards.

-What should be dreaded most is sleeping hours. The touches are faint and almost weak, something that had to do with your current situation and mood. As your drowsy figure stumbles into bed, somehow they too become more docile and quiet. That sounds good but it’s the fact they don’t sleep. Instead now that you’re state is dreaming off they can’t really interact with anything else. Other than watching you in a single room. Their touch is haunting.

-No one can see them, other than you and Grim. With you and your fat little feline friend have to deal with losers like these. Sadly, Grim can’t do much as no physical contact works, much to Idia’s pleasure.

-Absolutely no one likes any of your friends coming over. Surprisingly even Sebek is possessive over you. They’d glare so hard it makes you pass out from fear they might cause actual harm. As they can’t be seen doesn’t mean the force of their wrath will.

-Having friends over is not a good idea. But leaving home doesn’t get rid of their pissy attitudes. As spirits have strong emotions and auras; leaving you feeling sick and lightheaded by their constant bickering.

-Settling for agreements are tough, people like Azul and Vil have no problem with that. In fact they were one of the many to ask before doing things. You recognize Azul as the one who attempted to drown you, as Floyd dose nothing but babble about how much he cried and how he whines it hurts. Azul and Vil someone….respect you in a way? You certainly aren’t seen as equal but from everything that’s happened to you? A pat on the back is all you’re given.

-Get use to nudity. They sure are but they’ll still be dicks about it: Ace, Sebek, Jamil, Leona, Lilia, Floyd.

-More about their physical touches. It can cause a lot of harm to your body. Leaving marks and evidence of their abuse. Depending on your circumstances it can hurt as bad as getting your nails ripped out, they aren’t able to dig their fingers into your flesh to the point of slicing limb to limb.

-That has something to do with life and deaths they aren’t allowed to kill you ad your are bounded to the book. Serving the years of unknown disasters (murder, accidents, etc…but any attempt of self harm brings agony until you are waking up with their faces hovering above you.) or old age

-Rook makes most of your situations worse somehow. He’s always teasing the others for stupid reason. He wants to sit with you when Leona has a arm slumped over your shoulder on the couch. Invading your personal space in from of Malleus when engaging (not so willingly) conversations. Asking stupid questions like; do you prefer waking up to me or blah blah when you awake from your slumber.

-“Neither.”

-They don’t seem very useful other than bothering you whenever you come back home. The problem is how small room there is, and they complain about it a lot as well.

-Luckily for you they aren’t completely useless nor do their powers; it’s still pretty weak and does little. Malleus is ancient, his power weakens him if used, but he’ll use it for your advantage. Good luck.

-That’s the power, yep. Only key holders contain powerful magic as they did back in their world.

-Technically Malleus has the power to bring good and bad luck. Depends on how silly he’s feeling. Cue the blackish grey skies with green thunder causing crashes outside.

-Riddle’s power does more harm to others however, like his usual unique magic, and the reason why you don’t bring anyone over/ victims are forced to experience a choking hazard, one that’s not visible to touch or see.

-Leona can bring you golds and jewels, those are rare times if he ever thinks you deserve it. As I say when you have a whole drawer of them.

-Azul’s power allows him to create illusions, they are weak yet powerful on your still traumatized soul. When angered he’s petty enough to bring the faces or place of the events that happened in the book.

-Kalim is like a drug, his power is anything including smoke. Smoke that can make you sleep, intoxicate you, feel hunger or smell something like childhood.

-Vil is draining and giving. Having the ability to give or take your fatigues, when used more it can cause you to bleed from the nose and lead to hallucinations. It’s best to be on his good side if you ever feel the need for more enthusiasm energy.

-Idia can create skeletons to the living world. They don’t last long but are able to sedate and hold you. He doesn’t use them much as it quickly drains him. (Skeletons won’t be seen by others btw)

[thecattishdragon]

I'm just gonna... -dumps all of my N headcanons-

- Pansexual

- Adhd & Autism

- 20 years old

- Born/created on April 22nd

- Height: 6’6

- Ptsd, scared of loud noises

- Likes carrying Uzi around. Mostly does it when she’s tired or feeling sad.

- Knows a lot about many animals, not just dogs. Often randomly brings up facts about animals during conversation. 

- Has dents and scratches from J and V. Most of them are covered by his coat, so nearly nobody knows.

- Collects random things he finds interesting. Stickers, Books, Rocks he finds cool, and various shiny things are some of the things he collects the most. He gives shiny things, cool rocks, etc. to Uzi :>

- Rubs his claws together and taps them on things to stim

- Curls his tail around himself holds it in his hands when uncomfortable/nervous/scared

- Launches self into the air like a cat whenever startled

- Pets Uzi’s tail like a dog whenever it’s around (It LOVES him for this)

- VERY fluffy and soft hair. 

- likes headpats and scritchies ^^

- Sometimes chases tail when bored (Did this A LOT before the events of Episode One)

- Defensive of Uzi when J is around, Curls tail around her, pulls her closer, etc.

- Gets VERY flustered VERY easily. He can go from chill to a blushing mess just with a small kiss or a flirtatious remark

- His hair is just long enough to be pulled into a little ponytail. Uzi finds this absolutely adorable but TELLS NOBODY

- Often eats things he’s not supposed to. Chalk, wood, dirt, etc. His thought process is “I wonder what this tastes like.. Nothing bad will happen if I eat this, right? 

Ehhh it’ll be fine” Most of the time it’s fine. *most*

- His voice can go veeerry deep.

- Just as oilthirsty as J and V are, he’s just most excited about the HUNT, not the killing itself. He has single-handedly contributed to around 2/4 of the corpse spire

due to him wanting to be seen as somewhat useful

- Does like most anime, even the violent and gory ones.

- Sometimes has flashback episodes or nightmares where he vividly relives all the traumatic stuff that’s happened to him. Completely silent most of the time, tail curled around himself, trembling, sometimes wings covering himself, eyes closed tightly or just staring into the void

- He loves reading. He can read BIG WORDS like DISCOMBOBULATE and ABOMINATION

- Freaks out whenever he’s near a cute animal. Which, to him, is EVERY animal. Tessa has had to stop him from petting a crocodile before.

- Gets spooked and hides under the nearest bed, table, chair, couch, blanket, pillow, etc. or behind Uzi like a dog whenever there’s fireworks or lightning. He does 

think that fireworks are pretty when he doesn’t hear them

- Carries Uzi when she’s tired on long flights

- Separation anxiety

- Has the urge to touch EVERYTHING. Whether it be a cute animal or weird thing he found on the ground, he wants to touch it.

- You know this boi gives the best hugs and cuddles <3

- Clings to Uzi in his sleep and covers her with his wings. Most of the time he doesn’t even do it consciously, he just automatically does it.

- Frequent :3 :0 :D :) :( D: XD :3c etc. user

- Extremely skilled in making/preparing all kinds of drinks

- Was never really the same after the events of the show. He’s recovered well, but he’s not exactly the same. More easily saddened/angered, jumpier, anxiety levels higher, etc. 

[suzukiblu]

Excerpt from the next chapter of "think pink", a.k.a "Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it":

Kon flies into Gotham as surreptitiously as possible, meaning "as thoroughly concealed by the smog and cloud cover as possible", which given the amount of smog and cloud cover usually works out pretty well for him. Today's definitely no less cloudy than usual, and he's landing in the marina in no time. Well–specifically, he's landing in a subtle little out-of-the-way corner of the marina that Tim's previously pointed out to him where his neighbors probably won't notice either a Superboy or a Wonder Girl coming down.

Probably.

Eh, it's whatever. If they notice, Kon'll handle it. Not like he's not used to lying to Gothamites about what the fuck he's doing in their city and why they shouldn't flip the Batsignal over it, after all.

Not that said lies always keep the Batsignal from getting flipped, but still. It's been like fifty-fifty.

Well, sixty-forty . . . ?

Maybe seventy-thirty.

Kon waits 'til nobody's immediately around and super-speeds his ass across the dock to Tim's houseboat. There's an unnecessary amount of security on the thing because Tim is a paranoid little freak and a half and every single Bat alive is literally made of trust issues, but he already knows there's nothing that'll clock him on the deck. Well, nothing aggressive, anyway.

This ain't his first Bat-rodeo, and all that.

He punches in the code for the lock on the door, and the code for the other lock on the door, and the code that'll keep the needles covered in neurotoxin from spraying into his face when he opens said door. They wouldn't actually hurt him, obviously, but Tim would get annoyed if he wasted them.

He seriously wonders how the guy was ever under the impression that Bernard didn't know he was a superhero, but he guesses it's possible Tim assumed his boytoy thought he was, like, somebody's evil henchman or a merc or something.

Or just literally insane. Whichever.

And it is Gotham.

The door swings open, Kon very carefully steps on the correct floorboard, and then he slips inside and heads down into the bowels of the boat, or whatever the inside of a houseboat is called. It's a little cluttered down here but not quite a mess, and Kon's been here as many times as Tim's been willing to let him come but still not nearly often enough.

He has an odd, random thought of just staying, for once, and isn't quite sure where it came from. Which–well, he's staying for the weekend at least, right? Assuming the world doesn't try to end again, anyway.

So maybe not so random.

Sometimes Kon really does want to just hang in Gotham with Tim until Batman runs him out of town, but he never pushes it that far. He doesn't want to deal with that fallout or with Tim coming up to him to tell him he's being too much or too needy or just fucking weird or . . .

Yeah. Well.

Kon cracks into Tim's fridge and steals a can of Zesti. He's a little more of a Soder guy, at least lately, but it tastes better coming out of Tim's fridge anyway. It makes him feel kind of like a normal guy who just goes over to his normal buddies' places to do normal things–whatever those are–and has normal permission to just rifle through their normal food and take whatever.

Technically Kon has permission, in the sense that Tim's never rigged the Zesti to explode in his face, but he's never actually explicitly asked. He wasn't really sure if that was one of those things that normal people ask or one of those things that normal people just do, and now it's a little late to check, so . . .

Kon's life experience has been fucking weird and wildly varied and stupidly fragmented and generally speaking he just begs forgiveness rather than ever ask permission. He's a grown-ass clone, he can do that.

Okay, he's technically only physiologically a grown-ass clone but also he's arguably over a thousand years old, or maybe more like four or five, so whatever. Being a superclone is weird and confusing and his point stands.

Kon sips his stolen Zesti and wanders around the boat, idly avoiding assorted traps and tripwires. He doesn't go into the bedroom, although it's kinda tempting to just go wait in there, possibly without the company of any of his clothes.

He wants to talk to Tim at least a bit before they go full long weekend on this situation, though, and also like . . . meet Bernard as an actual person and not just a voice over the phone or that one random disgustingly cute couple-selfie that Tim had very dorkily and shyly and grudgingly shared in the group chat the last time Bart had actually won a bet against him.

That stupid selfie was adorable. Kon had absolutely saved it and is not a weirdo who just randomly looks at it sometimes. There's a lot of stuff like that on his phone, alright, he's got a whole folder of "shit to look at when the world sucks". Most of it's Krypto being dumb and sweet or the team messing around and being silly together or stuff like that. The one disgustingly cute Tim and Bernard selfie is a mere footnote in that folder.

But it is in that folder.

Like . . . of course it is.

Kon thinks about pulling out his phone and looking at that picture again. He's aware it's a weird thought to be having right now, though, so he doesn't act on it. Kon operates on instinct a lot but he doesn't necessarily trust all his instincts, given his thoroughly fucked up socialization experience and random mind control triggers and the biological influence of a certain gene donor who shall not be named.

Kon hears a pair of accelerated heartbeats approach the boat and feels two people step onto and hurry across the deck above, one's footsteps significantly louder than the other's. He hears a lot of buttons get pushed. Then the door at the top of the stairs yanks open and he glances towards it. Either Tim or a very convincing evil doppelganger of Tim is standing framed in the doorway, looking very slightly flustered and just barely winded. Bernard is clustered up behind him and laughing, and much more winded himself.

Well, that's flattering.

"Hey there," Kon says, and grins up at them.

"We need to establish boundaries, hard no's, and safewords," Tim says immediately, absolute freak that he is. Kon is not even slightly surprised.

"God, you really do just look like that, huh," Bernard marvels, his eyebrows shooting up. He's even cuter when he's not being a cell phone pic, and especially cuter when Kon's being gay. Unsurprisingly, Kon figures. "I always assumed a whole lot of really skilled Photoshop was involved in you. Or at least a whole lot of real good makeup and real precise angles."

"He's annoyingly photogenic, actually, you don't even have to try to make him look good," Tim informs him resignedly. "So you can imagine how he looks when you do try."

"That's a terrifying thought, actually," Bernard says approvingly.

"Safewords, huh?" Kon says as he sets aside his mostly-empty Zesti, not even pretending not to be preening under the compliments. So he's easy; at least he's self-aware. "That sounds promising."

"You were talking about some guy putting you in a collar and keeping you as a pet," Tim says flatly. "We definitely need safewords, I might get carried away."

"Promises, promises," Kon hums, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets and sauntering towards the bottom of the stairs with a wolfish grin that he may or may not have learned from an actual wolf. Like, just speaking of certain beast-men that he's known and all. "I told you, I was feral then. You know I'll be a good boy for you, Rob."

"Ohhhhh we've sure gotten ourselves into something here, huh, babe," Bernard says with a delighted grin as Tim puts a hand over his face and just sort of . . . exhales in that one specific way that he does when it's all going to shit in a fight or on a mission and he just needs to steady himself for that one second before the doors blow in.

Kon likes that, he thinks.

He really likes that, actually.

[ohtobearandomftblog]

random dragon slayer headcanons so my brain will let me get back to writing a fic

bite. monchity cromchity. its their way of hugging. or it was before erza beat it into natsu that that was a No. the others learned through others, too, except for erik. he still bites. the dragon slayers dont hug each other though they only bite. not enough to break skin but enough to leave an indent for a few minutes.

stare. stareeeeeeeeee. stares so much that people wonder if they even blink. they do. but if theyre staring its that weird membrane thing that wets their eyes without obstructing their vision too much. not many people realize it and even fewer arent freaked out.

the raised slayers view the lacrima slayers as true dragon slayers. the lacrima slayers do not view themselves as true dragon slayers. the raised slayers do so much random shit trying to convince the lacrima slayers that they are, in fact, true dragon slayers.

they can tell emotions. generally. if someones sad they stick around as a shoulder to lean on or a wall to vent to. if someones angry they either get prickly too or stay far away. its like a pet.

can also tell if someones low in calcium or potassium or something similar. like a service pet. they almost never point it out, but they do bring like milk or bananas over or even drag people out into the sun and stare at them until they accept their new position.

sunbathe. they all sunbathe. yes even rogue. its not so much the brightness (except for sting and sometimes natsu) its the heat. yes even gajeel. they wouldve dragonized if they didnt view themselves as completely and wholly human. dragons are big lizards. lizards are cold blooded or somethin. need heat to function. sunbathe.

natural aversion to other slayers like god and demon/devil. has to work with the other slayers to get past the fight or flight instinct. took wendy a bit to view sherria as human and not an actual god. took everyone a bit to warm up to gray and not think he was going to pull pranks or shank someone in their sleep. the other slayers do not have this issue with anyone, even dragon slayers. no one knows why the dragons are like this.

have a draconic language. written and spoken. the raised ones spoke “human” only with their parent dragon and only at the beginning. the lacrima ones dont know draconic until the raised ones start to ‘bring them out of their shell’ or whatever makarov tries to say about it. laxus doesnt know nor does he care, and hes the only one that cares about this sudden language bit in his brain at all. not even erik was freaked out.

half-draconic forms, even after theyre not in danger of dragonizing. typically has claws, and more sharp teeth than just fangs, and different colored eyes, and scales, and wings, and maybe a tail. wings might be scaled or feathered. porlyusica hates them.

if they eat any fresh meat like they didnt drain most of the blood before cooking it has to be well-done. for natsu and sometimes laxus it has to be nearly burnt. cause they get the impression of the last emotion felt before the animal died and its a real appetite killer to suddenly be hit with pain and sadness yknow

yknow how they dont break skin when they bite? most of the time. sometimes they just want to taste some blood. only done to each other or family or loved ones and is kinda rare but it really helps them all calm down

alcohol doesnt work on any of them. almost any drug doesnt work actually. high metabolism or somethin. needs a lethal dose like three times over to even get a small amount of like pain killers or somethin

theyre all allergic to chocolate. like eating a regular sized brownie will have them in bed for two hours. erik was already used to that because whatever is in fiorean chocolate does not sit well with isvanians. speaking of isvanians after gray got that demon/devil slaying magic he could eat fiorean chocolate and rubs it in the slayers and lyon’s faces. theyre all so damn jealous

after tartaros the average s-class quest became normal quests and shit bordering 10 year quests became average s-class quests. even though everyone on tenrou got s-class near tartaros they all still hold onto the “true” s-class people (laxus mira erza gildarts) as ones qualified to run them. laxus is pestered so much by the slayers to pretty please go on an s-class quest please they would oh so like to check out this area and oop theres a quest just for that area would you oh so kindly take it so we can even get a bit of money pretty please

whenever erik’s around they all go on an s-class quest and pay erik his cut afterwards since he’s not in a fully legal guild yet

read more for lists of hcs instead of just bullet points:

they all smell of their element. faintly to mages, not at all to non-mages, and strongly to other slayers of any kind. they can also smell the main types of magic a mage uses, like the metal of erza or the ice of gray or the wet animal of lisanna and the terror of elfman and the blood of mirajane.

natsu smelled of fire and gray smelled of ice so even without knowing who gray was he immediately started to pick a fight with him. just because he smelled cold.

wendy got along well with everyone immediately because her own scent would bend just slightly to compliment anyone she was nearby. besides, fire needs wind to stay strong, lightning typically comes with storm winds, metal can be tempered and cooled with air, poison can be spread with a breeze, light bounces in strong winds, and darkness seeps into everything with heavy air.

laxus immediately sets off peoples fight or flight, typically. just from the ozone smell. even makarov, whos dad used lightning magic, needed to get used to it. it wasnt great when trying to make friends.

before the dragons got out of their slayers, they had very clear “what would my dragon parent say/do”, because the dragon parent was saying shit

erik and laxus will always have the dragon’s voice commenting on shit, even if they dont realize its the dragon itself

sting and rogue had Blaring dragon voices but when the dragons left they only have what the lacrima gives them

natsu gajeel and wendy have nothing now and got so reckless after the dragons left makarov had to sit them down and ask just what the fuck happened and if they needed psychological or mental help

once the exceeds got to earthland and built a village/scattered one found laxus and another found erik

the one following laxus stuck around in his exile the few weeks/months before the s-class trials because he saved them from some random bandits. the exceed tried to follow laxus to tenrou but laxus told them to get to fairy tail or to go home to wherever the exceeds village was. they stuck around the village until laxus came back seven years later where the exceed then joined fairy tail and would sometimes stick around with laxus or the thunder legion or just be on their own

the one with erik joined the magic council’s shenanigans and was on ‘feed the prisoners’ duty and took a liking to him. when erik got out the exceed left with him and also tried to find cubelious to the point of leaving erik many times for long times and coming back with nothing. even after they figured out where and who cubelious was the exceed stuck around because ‘in for a penny in for a pound’

rain calms them all down. even natsu. sure, he and gajeel and sting are gonna stay under cover when rain comes, but theyre also close to passing out bc its so calm. rogue loves the darkness that comes with it and deals with the water. wendy jumps in the rain and people swear she moves with the winds. laxus lays down wherever theres space and absorbs the rain and wind and lightning.

there were jokes that laxus was more of a storm dragon slayer than a lightning dragon slayer when people realized that not only was he not wet from the rain, but it didnt even roll off and soak the ground. he genuinely absorbs it.

laxus doesnt mind the jokes but does point out every single time that he doesnt use water or wind in his attacks. juvia wondered if it was because he never really fought in the middle of a storm. theyre all too scared to test it now (even laxus, cause gosh wouldnt that absolutely fuck with his mind?)

they all have a favored sense. and a weakest sense.

natsu's most powerful is taste. he can taste a difference in the air quality before anyone can notice it. he can taste all the individual herbs and spices used in making food. he eats most things plain because of it. his feeling is fucking awful. you could stab him with a pencil and a knife and a broadsword and hed only be able to tell because of the taste of blood in the air. he can feel big texture and temperature differences and thats basically it. he can feel when hes in water and when its cold and thats it. he wants to feel lucy’s and happy’s hugs he really does but he can only taste the metal of her keys and the fish in his pouch

gajeel's is feeling. every single seam on his clothes makes him want to adopt gray's habit. he can feel when someone sighs because it disturbs the wind just enough. he has piercings and metal everywhere he can because the smooth and cold difference is comforting. his worst is smell. if he was blind deaf and gagged he would not be able to tell who was in front of him. fire? blood? a nicely cooked steak? never smelled it. he wants to smell the shampoo levy uses and the polishing substance lily uses on his sword but all he can do is feel the smoothness of both

wendy has great smell. even in the middle of a tornado she can smell all the little details and can almost pinpoint where they came from. she can smell when food or the air has been tampered with. too strong smells like erza’s perfume give her a headache. her sight SUCKS. she has three pairs of glasses she needs at all times (close, general, and far (she begged erza to teach her requip magic Just for them)) and is colorblind. what kind of colorblind? no clue! blues are yellows reds are purples greens are blacks yellows are greys purples are orange whites are green blacks are white grey is cyan cyan is pink pink is turquoise turquoise is red or SOMETHING. she wants to see all the colors of the clothes carla picks for them both and the flowers they see in bouquets but all she can do is smell where the purple(?) dye is from and which fields the flowers came from

erik’s is hearing. no shit. he hears birds miles away. he hears through sound-proof lacrimas and walls. he hears thoughts. hes traumatized just from impulsive thoughts lets not even get into intrusive. his worst easily taste. he eats poison what do you mean his taste buds are fine??? those shits were chemically burnt off nearly the moment he got that lacrima in. before they were though he could barely stomach even cubelious’ poison because it tasted so bad. except for blood. it probably has to do with the smell too but he can mostly taste blood. now he wants to taste kinana’s cooking but all he can do is finally hear her thoughts and, wow, he really wishes his best and worst sense would just switch

sting’s sight is the best. he sees in the dark maybe because hes a glowstick but even without that. one-way glass means nothing to him. fog also means nothing. sometimes particularly thin walls mean nothing like shoji where people can see the shadows? nah that shits invisible to him. its like glass to a bird. his hearing is Not It. only gets garbled nonsense. needs hearing lacrima at All times and even then does that “what? huh? oh yeah i went to the store” thing and people cant tell if its because he really did need to hear it again or if he only finished processing it. also does not hear accents. words sure are words and he can barely understand it no matter what. does not know the difference between rogue and yukino’s voices either. and he wants to. oh how he wants to know the “dark and deep” voice of rogue and the “scratchy and soft” voice of lector but no, all he gets to know is the blemishes in rogue’s skin and the small spot on lector’s forehead that doesn’t grow hair

rogue is that weird sixth sense thing that he just calls instinct. hes got eyes on the back of his head. ears in the walls. nose in everyone’s business. touch sensors on his hair. taste buds on his fingertips. except he really doesnt, because all of those are his worst senses. he needs glasses, learned how to lipread because no one spoke too loudly near him, doesnt know what people mean by scented candles, has no clue what a papercut feels like, and can barely taste the spiciest shit imaginable again except for blood. he wants normal feeling in everything, but all he gets is knowing what you said four miles away and what you were wearing and how your hair felt and what your ice cream tasted like and what cologne the guy next to you had. he thinks its the shadows. he calls it instinct.

laxus. depends? one day he can hear thunder in crocus when hes in magnolia. another he can smell rain in a dry spell two weeks before it comes. another he can feel a bug under his bed frame that doesnt touch his mattress but sure keeps him up all night. another he can see all the way into blue pegasus’s guildhall sitting on the second story of fairy tail’s. another and he can taste blood even though no one is bleeding. sometimes it tastes like his own blood. hes never bleeding. and hes not really bad at any of the senses. theyre like a normal non-mage’s when theyre not heightened to hell and back. but his gramps and the thunder legion would say his instincts arent the greatest, especially for someone so fast. he cant dodge a sneak attack no matter how many times people teach him. he cant tell when someone lies to him no matter how stuttery they are or how fast their heart beats. he couldnt tell when his appendix almost fucking exploded. if his body didnt start expelling excess lightning hed absorb so much hed get sick. if he didnt collapse, he wouldnt have been able to tell that his body was full of bane particles, and would have just kept going. rarely does laxus admit that his instincts suck, but he does confide in the thunder legion and his gramps. about how he thinks his body heightens what it doesnt need one day and how it makes what he does need the worst it can get--his smell so good he can tell when rain will come but his hearing so bad he couldnt tell when someone lied about a trap straight to his face and would have murdered him if freed didnt look for him. its why he was so standoffish before tenrou.

literally none of their first language was modern fiorean, or modern english. no ones was draconic, either.

natsu and wendy share a native language. theyre from midi. its old midian, or latin. levy and freed are learning how to speak it from them, since they know written latin. natsu and wendy still critique their grammar and spelling.

sting rogue and gajeel share one. theyre from joya. its old joy, or old german. but gajeel has a different dialect that he says is its own language and not a dialect, but modern dutch was almost fully absorbed by modern german, so who knows what old dutch was actually counted as.

erik is from isvan, and speaks isvanish/spanish. he, like gray and lyon, get very pissed if you say spanish was in desierto. its different dialects, theyd say, and its not like they chose for the dialects to have the same damn name. he only learned fiorean in the tower of heaven

laxus. doesnt actually remember. neither does makarov. could be icebergen/russian, from gramps. a dialect from a small country that was absorbed by alvarez, from his grandma. or “oriental”, from his mom, but call it “oriental”  or “eastern” and he will throw lightning at you, because he knows three dialects (japanese, korean, and chinese), and its not clear what you mean when you say “oriental”.

the ones in the grand magic games confused the commentators by speaking their native languages to swear and it was only when some parents spoke up about it did a rule suddenly get put in place in the middle of the third day. they were jokingly furious, along with gray, lyon, jura, makarov, and the strauss siblings.

some magics just Dont Work on them

cana’s fortune telling doesnt work. at all. well, she learns it doesnt work on those raised by dragons, but does work on those with the lacrima. no one knows why until they learn the raised ones were sent around four hundred years in the future. then it all makes sense.

mirajane tried to see if her take-over would work on natsu when they learned he was e.n.d. could be because he chose to be fully human, but it didnt work at all. she could tell he was still a wee bit demonic, but honestly it was more likely to work on gray than on natsu.

mind control? good fucking luck. erik is only able to understand the others because hes a dragon slayer, but mind control magic? mest can attest, trying to implant false memories into natsu gajeel and wendy was a fucking pain and gave him a nose bleed.

after the slayers stopped dragonizing, the enchanting a personality onto them or whatever irene did just. never worked again.

one time, when he was young and the lacrima was implanted less than two months ago, someone tried to requip away laxus’s lacrima. everything they could requip in their mini space storage thing shot out around them. they couldnt use magic for two weeks. laxus told erik, sting, and rogue this recently, and they had that look of ‘i dont know what the fuck you expected’. he pointed out he was only seven when the lacrima was implanted. they realized common sense when it comes to kids is out the window, both for the kids themselves and the adults around them. they patted him on the back. he doesnt know what that means.

magic drain, yknow, like what aria did to incapacitate makarov during phantom’s bullshit? nope. magic drain works by taking the magic of someone and just spreading it out into the world. try that shit on natsu and the air will be on Fire. wendy? so much wind you cant breathe. gajeel? shit will start turning into metal. it doesnt work at all on laxus and erik since magic drain just doesnt work on lacrima at all. sting and rogue? what could be drained away just causes blinding light or blinding darkness, soooooo

can consume their elements like food and no its not just for magic energy

gray once dared natsu to survive off of only fire. literally everyone told natsu to Dont Fucking Do It. he only ate fire for two months and everyone was Concerned and gray finally told him to stop. he didnt for another month.

in phantom the only thing gajeel was allowed to eat was scrap metal. juvia would sneak him some regular food every once in a while because metal didnt actually give him that many nutrients. when they got into fairy tail juvia tried to sneak him some food again and mirajane saw and explained to them that theres no sneaking necessary he can just eat the food are you guys okay??? juvia thought she was in trouble for the rest of the day and gajeel got her out of it by eating a chicken leg at a random table in the guildhall. then natsu challenged him to a food fight and was concerned when everything thrown was just Eaten by gajeel

wendy forgets to eat food. especially in cait shelter because sometimes the illusion people would forget to make food at a good time and most of the time carla had to remind them that shes a growing child who needs food?? wendy was so used to just eating the air when traveling with mystogan that most of the time she was genuinely full before they even finished cooking. it kinda stayed when she got in fairy tail but now natsu gajeel and sometimes laxus just put food in front of her so often that she only eats air when on quests now

sabertooth was like phantom before sting became master and light and darkness were even Worse than metal. just before the gmg they were visibly malnourished and natsu focused more on that than how they supposedly killed their parents. like he dragged them to fairy tail’s hotel thing and when gajeel and wendy saw them they joined in the dragging to get these kids some fuckin Food

brain was also a bitch and gave cubelious raw meats Only and made erik eat her poison Only. erik would sneak in vegetables and fruits because cubelious could actually eat them (now he knows why) and cubelious would put some aside for erik cause even if he cant taste it she knows her poison is really just for magic and not actual nutrition. but like poisoned berries? fantastic for them both

laxus doesnt really eat. hes allowed to and he enjoys it when his taste isnt enhanced to hell and back. but like. most lacrimas after the tenrou shit have electricity in them. nice little snack. and he just summons lightning every once in a while and that more than makes up for the small magic it takes to summon it. besides eating proper food takes time and its messy and hes really got shit to do yknow

that combined slayer magic? like the lightning flame dragon and iron shadow dragon and white shadow dragon? yeah so

they can be anything. like natsu isnt stuck to just lightning. and theyre not even stuck to just other dragon slayers magic. like when he ate zancrow’s it was dragon god’s flame, he just didnt realize it. if wendy ate sherria’s it would be dragon god’s wind. if laxus ate orga’s hed be dragon god’s lightning.

again theyre not stuck to just their element and whatever was the first one they tried that wasnt. natsu can be a blinding flame or a burning shadow or a scorched metal or a heatwave (gray hates this one) or feverish poison. theyll all make him sick afterwards like lightning flame.

gajeel’s is shining iron and melting sword (yknow gallium? the metal that melts at body temp? basically) and scrap tornado and venomous blade and shocking steel. he gets weak after them instead of sick

wendy’s is prism and suffocating winds and scorching air and sharp wings and noxious breeze and storm (yes with water and more evidence of laxus being a storm dragon slayer but this time he will smack you upside the head if you mention it). she gets sleepy afterwards

sting’s is blazing light and cutting bright and prism (being the same as wendy’s which is Odd) and hurtful white and lightning’s blinding. he cant think clearly after

rogue’s is burning shadow and cutting darkness and night’s fog (not fog but it is a physical darkness) and blindingly nothing and encompassing and electric eclipse. he gets so hungry after

erik’s is blazing acid and venom and bane particles (laxus hates this one) and purify and comatose and seizing poison. he gets lethargic

laxus’s takes after everyone else except wendy. lightning flame, shocking steel, lightning’s blinding, electric eclipse, and seizing poison. instead of storm he just gets more powerful lightning but wendy says its because he actually is controlling the wind but he doesnt think so. everyone calls it dry lightning in front of him but they say this is another point for storm dragon slayer when hes way away from them (he still hears and still punches whoever said it when he gets to them).

[munson-blurbs]

@corrodedcoffinfest Day 4: Eddie

Word Count: 619/Rating: T/Pairing: None/CW: bullying, brief violence/Tags: Eddie Munson, Jason Carver, Billy Hargrove, Tommy Hagan, Hawkins High 1985

Divider credit to @silkholland

“Watch it, Freak!”

Eddie Munson winces as he nearly collides with Tommy Hagan. The jock’s muscular form is no match for his scrawny one, and Eddie’s back smashes into the row of lockers. He grips his notebook tight, not willing to let anyone get a glimpse of the song lyrics inside. 

Especially not a jackass like Tommy Hagan. 

Tommy notices the way Eddie quickly draws the book to his chest, his growing smirk holding nothing but malice. “Whatcha got there?”

“Probably his list of potential sacrifices,” Billy Hargrove chimes in, snapping his gum loudly. Eddie’s never been so repulsed by the smell of spearmint in his life. “Do you just do animals? Or humans, too?”

“Shut up,” Eddie mutters under his breath. A hand reaches out and snatches the book from him. It doesn’t belong to Tommy or to Billy.

Jason Carver, a junior on the team and the heir apparent to Billy’s douchebag throne, cracks the book’s spine. “Aww, what do we have here? Love songs?” His cackle has Eddie shrinking into himself.

Tommy peers over his shoulder, reading the lyrics aloud. “Gonna fight every enemy, won’t let them get the best of me…what the fuck is this shit?” His eyes blaze with challenge when he stares at Eddie. “What enemies do you have? Y’know, besides a hairbrush?”

“I think the Freak’s writing songs about us.” Billy presses a hand to his heart. “I’m touched.”

A muscle twitches in Eddie’s jaw. Confirming what they already know would result in instant mortification, and they wouldn’t believe a lie anyway. He opts to stay silent, only grabbing for the notebook.

Tugging it just out of Eddie’s reach, Jason grins at him. “Sometimes I forget that your name isn’t actually ‘Freak.’” 

“Pretty sure it is,” Billy chimes in, “but we can ask his parents��oh, wait. He doesn’t have any. Just that weird-ass uncle.”

Red flashes before Eddie’s eyes. He’s used to the constant barrage of half-witted insults from guys who would certainly peak in high school, but he’ll be damned if they speak ill of Wayne.  

Tommy’s the first one to catch the sudden shift in Eddie’s composure, but he continues holding himself with unfounded confidence. “Guys, be careful–he might get sad and write another mean song about us.” He slips into baby talk, which only makes the others laugh harder.

Already bored with the taunting, Jason flings the notebook back in Eddie’s general direction; it hits the tile floor with an unceremonious thump. “Later, Freak.”

Before he can think better of it, Eddie’s hand shoots out and grabs the collar of Jason’s letterman jacket. The second he wraps his fingers around the fabric, he’s tugging him back with enough force to slam his head against a locker. “My name,” Eddie seethes, saliva pooling at the corners of his mouth, “is Eddie Munson. Eddie fucking Munson. You got that, jockstrap?”

Jason’s Adam’s apple bobs, filling Eddie with a strange sort of pride. Wielding his newfound courage, he hisses in the junior’s ear, “And if you ever say another fucking word about my uncle, I will personally nail your balls to the gym wall. Got it?”

“F-Fine, whatever.” Embarrassment blooms in Jason’s cheeks and neck, having been bested by Eddie. He wrangles out of Eddie’s grasp and retreats back to his friends, not bothering to even glance back. “Prick.”

Eddie allows himself to breathe, even if just for a moment. Is ‘Prick’ a better nickname than ‘Freak’? Not much, but he’ll take it, if it means shutting them up.

One day, he thinks as he shoves his lyric notebook back under his arm, everyone will know his name. His real name, with no whisper of The Freak attached.

Just him. Eddie Munson.

--

[silversodas]

The Tornado vs The Glass Cannon

Rocky and Mordecai’s interactions in the side comics have painted them as pretty interesting foils for each other

Mordecai surprised me in this comic, I expected him to write off Rocky like everyone else does whenever he says or does something weird. But Mordecai just questions his actions and engages in an honest not to bad conversation with Rocky. (They seem like the type of people that have conversations that take 20 different directions and no one can follow) They have the potential for a pretty interesting dynamic and I am interested to see if they get one in the animated series especially with how the pilot turned out. And yes, they didn’t interact in the pilot, but Rocky was the only one to surprise and get the drop on Mordecai, also I need to talk about Mordecai’s questionable quick draw skills. Let’s start closer to the beginning

People have already noticed that Mordecai was shocked and recognized Ivy

But he also makes an effort as discreetly as he can to divert the twin’s attention away from Ivy and the others

“Can we not prolong this? We have more pressing matters to attend to”

His eyes dart away from them while saying this, showing he is not being genuine. I am on board with the observation that he left to try and find out who killed Atlas, and at this point I think he was of the mind set that he didn’t want to hurt Ivy but would if he had to. He spectates until Serafine warns him they might be thinking he doesn’t want to kill them and this is my first “do you just not shoot fast?” Moment comes up

When trying to shoot Rocky, he takes so much time that Rocky notices him and gets Ivy to make a hard left, but maybe the audience is just viewing it slower then it’s actually happening? Because when Rocky is able to dodge the bullet it hitting the radiator instead gives Mordecai pause

He slowly lowers his gun and raises an eyebrow, almost like he is thinking “huh, that wasn’t supposed to happen” like he was surprised he was able to dodge the bullet

The second time with Calvin is really weird because he gave Calvin enough time to stop being dizzy, look around, and then notice that a gun was in his face

Like are you planning to shoot him sometime this year Mordy? You could have head shot him three freaking times in the time he was trying to get up. Are you giving them opportunities to get away?

This is also when our Tornado Rocky gets the drop on our Glass Cannon

This is the first time his facade drops and is truly shocked, even looks around dumbly. A glass cannon is pretty much what it sounds like, something or someone vary dangerous or powerful but also vary fragile. Mordecai has delicate senses being incredibly OCD, he can improvise but only within the perimeters of how he thinks everyone works

And Rocky was a literal tornado in the pilot

Mordecai is no longer relaxed and indifferent, he is alert and wondering WTF is happening. He attempts to get closer to shoot Rocky just like Serafine and Nico are, but none of them can get close or land a shot

Rocky’s part in this fight feels like he is symbolically acting as a tornado, large, destructive, and Serafine nearly gets killed trying shoot him. I am interested to see how that ability gets used in the future, because not only does he make a grate distraction, he is a distraction you can’t touch.

And then there is where he spared Ivy, which is the most interesting. I do think Victor is part of the reason he didn’t want to hurt Ivy, this is his third, taking his sweet time to shoot shot. But this one feels more like an exchange and leads me to believe that he has his own dynamic with her

Ivy notices Mordecai point a gun at her, but says nothing and doesn’t even alert Rocky or Calvin

She has time to duck, to warn the boys, but doesn’t, she could be frozen in fear, but I doubt it. Actually she doesn’t even look that afraid, almost like she is staring him down. As if she knows she doesn’t have to duck because she knows he won’t shoot her, she doesn’t even drive any faster. She is proven right in the end

He doesn’t even seem insulted at her sureness that he wont shoot her, if anything the sigh he lets out is more like a “you could at least act like I would shoot you” it seemed like he thought he was willing to hurt Ivy if he had to, but isn’t really surprised to learn he was wrong

But this is just how I read all of this, I can’t be sure if he was shooting slow intentionally or if I am just missing something

[deanscutiepiesam]

happy wincest wednesday! random question: do you think salmondean have any weird phobias that they didn't mention on the show? -lizzy

Happy Wincest Wednesday!! ♡

First, thanks for the ask! Second, this is a really good question, and it got me thinking. So I'm just gonna ramble a bit about why I think they have each phobia I list under the cut. Also, they're not that weird of phobias, I don't think, so I hope that's okay! ^^

---

Dean:

• Cynophobia: Fear of Dogs.

After being brutally mauled by hellhounds, I would be scared too :( However, in typical Dean fashion, he represses it, and it comes off as just an aversion to dogs. (Ex. Running from that small dog in Yellow Fever, being upset at Sam for having a dog in his car in s8, Portia from Man's Best Friend with Benefits clocking that Dean dislikes dogs.) I think it isn't until Dog Dean Afternoon where he can understand them and act like them, does he come to face his fear and even come to like dogs. Hence why he was sweet with Miracle in s15.

• Pyrophobia: Fear of Fire.

I think this one was temporary, as well, and definitely when he was little. I feel like watching your house go up in flames and having your mom die when you're four will do that to you. As I said, this one is definitely temporary as Dean had to "grow out of it" when he started hunting with John, and they needed to salt & burn bones and things of that nature.

• Taphophobia: Fear of Being Burried Alive.

I don't have much canon support on this one, but I think waking up burried in s4 could've fucked him up a bit. Not to mention in s14 with the Ma'lak Box, he has nightmares about trapping himself in it with Michael. I feel like anyone would be freaked out over this, but I don't know, it just feels right. Dean likes being in control and he usually fears things where he feels trapped and vulnerable (like planes) so I think it's possible.

• Homophobia (Kidding lmao.)

Wait, actually...

• Internalized Homophobia.

I don't have to explain this one. You understand, yes?

Sam:

• Eisoptrophobia: Fear of Mirrors.

Sam is a very guilty character, as we all know, and I think that could seriously skew how he sees himself to the point that he avoids looking at himself whenever he can. I think it gets worse after he gets his soul back, and he has identity issues with all his soulless counterpart did. Plus, all the times he's been possessed. Sometimes, he looks and sees Lucifer, sometimes Gadreel (maybe even Meg in earlier seasons. She could've started his aversion). Regardless, it's just easier for him not to look at himself.

• Phonophobia: Fear of Loud Sounds.

Late seasons Sammy flinches™ :((

In canon, he has visible reactions to Dean getting loud and angry, and I also think it could apply to other loud sounds as well. With all he's been through, I wouldn't be surprised if this was a symptom of his ptsd. (Also, I headcanon that he enjoys spending time with Eileen because it's always quiet. They can sit in silence and sign to each other, and it's calming.)

• Decidophobia: Fear of Making Decisions.

Wait, hear me out. Nearly every time Sam makes a big decision in his life, it backfires on him. It's always the "wrong choice" no matter how much good he tries to achieve. I, of course, don't blame him for this, but basically, everyone in his life does. With that in mind, I think Sam would struggle to make big choices. The fight being zapped from him in the later seasons? Submitting to Dean? It's easier. In his mind he can't "fuck anything up" if he just does what he's told... and even then, it's never good enough :(

Sam & Dean:

• Eremophobia: Fear of Being Alone/Abandoned.

This one also doesn't need explaining. These codependent boys need each other like oxygen. Canon support: the entire show.

• Somniphobia: Fear of Sleeping.

This is a long one y'all...

I headcanon that they both are anxious to go to sleep because [insert trauma here], but they never realized it because they'd always slept either with each other (when little) or next to each other (in motels). But after having separate rooms in the bunker, it called it to attention. I feel like they started (literal) sleeping together after the newness & excitement of having their own rooms wore off.

People can have this fear for different reasons, and I listed nightmares, but I also think Sam would have sleep paralysis and sometimes see Lucifer, which isn't fun. Fear of dying in your sleep can also be a symptom, but I'm spinning this one to the fear of each other dying. If the brothers are (literal) sleeping together, they can check the other's pulse from time to time, feel their breathing, and know that the other is okay. Also, another symptom can be things happening to them in their sleep (website said like burglary, fire, disasters, etc), I think it's fitting too, but it'd be more like monsters and demons for them.

Canon support for this is kinda low, but there is some, in my opinion. In motels, sleeping on the edge of their beds near each other. After hell trauma, sleeping fully clothed on top of the covers, never settling. Guns and knives hidden under beds, mattresses, and pillows. (People have also pointed out seeing one brother's stuff in the other brother's room, so this fuels my delusion that they share rooms in the bunker sometimes.)

---

Anyways, that's all I have for right now. I'm sure I could find more if I kept researching (because this is so interesting and I'm going down a rabbit hole of fears), but this post is already kinda long... Thanks again for the ask, and I hope this is what you were looking for! ^^

[flibbetygibbetsbro]

Some people really liked it, so here is some more of my unhinged fanfic of keefe in the forbidden cities

The

kid had come out of nowhere and she managed to hit him with her bike. Shit.

…

"Holy crap, are you good, man?" 

The boy she had hit blinked through his blurry vision to see a girl kneeling over him, her messy hair blowing in the breeze. All he could do was groan. His butt hurt. The boy tried to stand but only wobbled, nearly toppling over. The girl caught his arm keeping him steady, but that only seemed to make him woozier. His vision went blank.

"Wowsa, I guess you're NOT good then."

That was the last thing the boy heard before passing out. 

…

Name. What was his name again? He couldn't remember. His head hurt. His heart ached. What was his-

Oh yeah.

It was Keefe.

He forced his eyes open to find himself laying on some sort of table and bench combo thinking in the shade of a gigantic oak tree. Keefe turned his head to look at the bench connected to the table. Why connect them? Humans are weird. As he studied the bench, his gaze was caught on a leg.

That leg belonged to a person.

Keefe shot upright, ignoring the rush of lightheadedness as his body tensed, ready to flee.

"Woa there, bud. Chill out. I'm not going to steal your liver," the blond girl next to him said. The reinsurance should have made him feel better, but the thing about the liver seemed very unessacy. It made his gut twist a bit, almost like she was going back on her word and stealing his liver right then and there. "So, uh, what's your name?" the girl inquired. She seemed a little shy, but not in the "omg you're so hot and charming" way he was more used to, but in the "I just carried you to a table in a park and now I have no clue what to do with you now" way. Keefe supposed he'd feel about the same in her place. 

Keefes brain was so out of wack, he didn't even answer the girls question. He just looked at her blankly while his brain grasped onto the least important things. Like how she wasn't acting like most girls did around him. Maybe she was one of those people Sophie mentioned to him. What were they called again? Lemonon? Lebonan? No, lesbian. 

Before he fully grasped what he was saying, he blurted out, "Are you a lesbian?" 

"Nice to meet you "are you a lesbian"," she retorted dryly. 

Keefe reddened and crossed his arms irritably. (GOSH his head hurt). "I don't need to tell you anything."

She snorted and smirked a little, "Well aren't you a salty little cookie." Keefe just stared at her confused. Did she just call him…a baked good? He was befuddled before, but now he was baffled. He may have watched humans before, but this was the first time he had actually spoken to him. Were they all this confusing? 

"What?"

Keefe must have looked as baffled as he felt because the girl cringed slightly and seemed to shed a little bravo. "Sorry, I kind of forgot that you literally fainted, like, 20 minutes ago."

Wait, he'd been out at long?! "Wait, I've been out that long?!"

"Yep, you kinda freaked me out. I have a couple of friends that faint sometimes, but it usually isn't for more than a minute or two. You'd better get home and get something to eat." 

"Oh yeah, I guess." Sweet, he could just walk away and everything would be fine-

"I'll walk with you."

Keefe bit back a curse. This weird human was making it VERY hard to be undercover. With a forced grin he hoped was charming (he probably looked like he was freshly done with his daily hair appointment…with the mouth of Verdi the T-Rex), he stood to leave and find a corner hidden enough to lightleap away. "Nah, I'm good, uh…" She never gave HER name either. "...cookie." Wow. That was smooth. (Not really). 

As Keefe moved his legs to leave, everything went fuzzy for a moment before his vision cleared. Suddenly towering above him was the girl with the tail end of a shocked expression twisting into a mix of amusement and irritation. Realizing that he had fallen flat on his butt, he looked up at the girl a little sheepishly. 

"You're "good", huh? Oh, and my name is Soda." Soda was worse than Cookie in keefes mind, but Soda dragged him to his feet before he could dwell on names for too long. "Come on, we're going to Subway."

…

Subway, as it turns out, was not an underground collection of dangerous human transportation, but an above ground collection of dangerous human food. Wasn't the ham Soda ordered made from pigs? Ew. 

Soda turned to Keefe after she finished ordering her sandwich on the weird assembly line. "What do you want?" 

Keefe tried to play it cool, but his nose wrinkled a bit when he mumbled, "I'm good."

Raising an eyebrow, she seemed ready to add a sparky remark, but she paused when she noticed the way Keefe kept sending sideways glances at the meat section. "Oh. You're vegetarian." 

Before Keefe could intergect Soda had already ordered him a vegetarian sandwich. Keefe recalled that cheese was made from cows milk.

Ew.

The two of them sat in a corner booth. As Soda calmly ate her sandwich and drank her soda (was she named after drink of was it named after HER?), Keefe figeted and ignored his sandwich. The human emotions didn't make the world spin like it did when he first leaped, but his head still pounded and he had trouble focusing. Again, he found himself focusing on all the wrong things.

"Why do you have the same name as your drink?"

Soda smiled slightly (she was used to people asking about her name), but the way he phrased the question made her lips twitched downwards once. It was almost like he didn't know what soda was. Nah,that's crazy…

[locution-youngster-enjoyer]

Weird AU I just thought up of:

Wordgirl x Roblox Doors.

Ok, so it’s not exactly a doors AU, it’s just heavily inspired by doors.

You play as Two Brains, a doctor who was given his strange name due to a bad lab accident, fusing his brain with a mouses. A close friend of yours, a young but unusual girl named Becky, suddenly went missing, and was last reported being seen at an abandoned location. Two Brains, while concerned, wasn’t particularly interested in personally going to try and find Becky, until he got a letter inviting him to the location Becky was last seen in.

Curious, and desperate, Two Brains goes to the location, which turns out to be a mansion. When walking in, he’s greeted on a secret intercom by a mysterious man who calls himself ‘Mr Big.’

“I know what you’re really hear for, Doctor. However, I’d like to welcome you to my little freak show! While I think you’d fit right in, I must advise my friends aren’t *nearly* as friendly when it comes to new faces. I’d get used to this place, you’ll be here for a while.”

So boom, he’s stuck in what seems to be a looping mansion, struggling to find Becky. The last bit of his conscience that is still Steven acts sort of like guiding light, and will make comments as hints. The other villains are all entities. Here’s some ideas I have so far:

Amazing Rope Guy (aka “Snake?”)

He’s one of those entities that can’t actually kill and hardly cause any harm (think Timothy from doors). If you open a closet, there’s a chance you get hit in the face with a piece of rope

Little backstory quote: “Oh him? He’s just trying to fit in. He’s scared”

Chuck + Brent (aka “The ‘Catch-up’ Brothers”)

Basically this AU’s equivalent of Rush. Riding around the halls of the mansion in a sandwich themed car, they’ll run you down if you aren’t quick enough to get out of the way. If you are able to catch a glimpse of them before you’re run over, you’ll notice they look like two people being fused together.

Backstory quote: “Have you ever had a favorite food? Once there were two brothers who both shared a love of sandwiches, but couldn’t decide on how to create the best sandwich. One brother had the talent of engineering, and tried to fuse his and his brothers favorite sandwich. Guess what happens when you stand too damn close to a untested machine? Now they ride around the halls to try and get rid of their permanent adrenaline rush, plus it’s hard to walk around when your existence is a constant three legged race… you know, I think I’ll just stick with fries as my favorite food.”

Eileen (aka “The Tantrum”)

The equivalent of dupe. Whenever you see a door that has a door number that looks like it was drawn on with a black crayon and you try to open it, you’ll get pushed back by either a green hand, foot, or a giant eyeball. If you have an item on you, not only will you take damage, your item will also get stolen.

Quote: “Ever met a spoiled kid? How do you deal with one who’s oh so green with envy? Don’t throw a hissy fit if she steals your things, she thinks its a birthday present. The little ass isn’t allowed to draw on the doors, and refuses to except time out. Her getting herself stuck is the best alternative I guess.”

Invisibill (Aka “Hide’n’Seek”)

The equivalent of screech. Sometimes, you’ll hear the sound of someone trying to muffle themselves laugh. The way to find Invisibill is by looking at any floating object near you, because it’s Invisibill holding it. If you aren’t quick enough, Invisibill will throw whatever object he’s holding at you, and you’ll take damage.

“Have you ever played hide and seek before? Imagine becoming so good at it you barely need to hide. Just keep him entertained, he *really* doesn’t appreciate being ignored.”

Leslie (aka “The Hound”)

Leslie’s role is interesting. She’s still Mr Big’s assistant, but similar to how she is in the show, she’s actually pretty neutral. When it comes to appearance, she looks like what happens if you try to combine a human’s anatomy with either a dog, cat, or reptile. Functionally, she’s a combo of the Figure and either Guiding or Curious light.

Whenever you die, you have a small cutscene where you wake up in an elevator going back to the first floor. The first time you die to specific entity, Mr Big will give you their name and a mocking comment. He’ll also speak over the intercom about any non deadly entities you may encounter (like ARG). However, the second time you die to the energy, Leslie will talk over the intercom and tell you the little backstory quotes, which vaguely hints at what the entity does.

Quote: “I apologize. I’m still trying to do my job. I just have multiple.”

Ms Question (aka “Vertigo”)

Ms Question is the equivalent of Halt. The lights will shut off, and you’ll start to be followed by a blinding light that vaguely looks like a woman. If you don’t turn around and run away when she approaches, she’ll hit you with an amnesia beam, disorienting you so it’s easier for her to hit you again.

Quote: “What are the two things philosophers do? Question and discuss. Now imagine only getting half of that down, and making that your entire personality. To many questions can get overwhelming, so it’s better to just avoid them all together. Don’t blame her though, she’s just very curious about everything, including you.”

Seymour (aka “The Ad-vert”)

Seymour is the equivalent of eyes. In some rooms, there will be a tv, and there’s a chance that an ad will start playing on the tv. If you stare at the ad to long, it starts becoming distorted with Seymour looking less human, and your vision will fill up with the ad and you’ll take damage.

Quote: “Once upon a time there was an rather attractive man. He knew he was destined for tv stardom, but needed a way to consistently be seen by all. Poor guy bit off more than he could chew. Now no one can stand to look at him at all, and he rather be forgotten then hated. To bad he’s stuck with the job he’s got. It’d do you good to ignore him”

Nocan (I could not think of a nickname for this lol)

This guy isn’t really based on any doors entities, and can’t do any damage. There’s a chance that when you enter a room, everything in the room will suddenly reverse (ex: you’re walking on the ceiling now). Hypothetically, if this was a real game, the controls would reverse as well.

Quote: “I always tell him to not do that, it makes a mess!”

The Butcher (uhhhh, I couldn’t think of a nickname for him either. Might just keep calling him the Butcher lol)

Ok, I know I said Leslie was like the figure, but to be honest, both she and the Butcher are like a combo of Seek and the Figure. Design wise, the Butcher looks the same, except more unhinged looking, and with butcher knives for arms (if you want an example of what this looks like, it’s basically the Razor from Slay The Princess but with butcher knives instead)

Quote: “Have you ever had a job you loved? What if you had no choice but to love the job because it’s what you are? It’s physically what you are, and you can’t change it. He’s just doing his job, really, he’s a sweetheart”

The Coach (aka ‘the Dealer’)

The Coach and most of the villain schoolers act as the equivalent of Jerry, El Goblino, and Bob as a safe space to buy items. The Coach is mostly the same, except for a noticeable extra amount of eyes and arms, and is the one selling the items. Chilling with him is Big Left Hand Guy (who’s the same), Captain Tangent (who’s comically accidentally attracting anything metal to him with his hook that’s permanently stuck to his hand), Maria the energy monster (who’s in a jar), and Royal Dandy (stuck in painting form). There are three extra chairs, one of which Invisibill will be sitting in depending on when you encountered him last. The second one is bent and cracked, and has “Property of the Whammer” written on it. The third one has a printer on it.

The Whammer (aka ‘The Earthquake’)

There’s a chance that a sonic boom will travel down the halls, acting as a less deadly version of Rush. The sonic boom itself deals unavoidable damage, but it also knocks down any tables and cabinets around it, which can crush and kill you.

Quote: “Some people really just can’t control their volume. When their mad, when their excited, when they’re scared. I doubt he means real harm”

Lady Redundant Woman (aka “The Redundancy”)

Beatrice is the equivalent of Ambush. She and her clones absolutely zoom down the halls, and will jump you if your in their way.

Quote: “Imagine being your own best friend. You never act the same way twice, so they’ll always be slightly different. She’s just trying to have fun with her best friends, so it’s in your best interest that you get out the way. It ruins their game”

Tobey (aka “The Inventor”)

Tobey rarely appears, but his presence is everywhere. On every piece of machinery in the building (Seymour’s tvs, Beatrice’s printer, etc) there’s the label ‘McCallister’. When you do see him, which you’re not meant to, you see how he seems to have fused himself with a machine. If you stay with him for to long in the same room, he’ll act like Haste (from the Backdoors) and immediately run you down and kill you with the machinery attached to him. If you try hiding under a bed or in a closet, he acts like Hide and kicks you from the hiding place, because there are secret machines in the hiding spots.

Quote: “Smart kid. He’s very helpful. Give him his space, he’s trying to work…. You.. you know him, don’t you?”

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got so far. There is some lore, and I’ll take ideas for any other villain entities, so feel free to ask me about it >:]

[the-shark-well]

Do you perchance have any Triple Threat headcanons you’d be willing to share….

you bet I do !!! and sorry this took me a second to answer I don't often think about these three enough . which is a shame because they make me normal

These are all scrambled thoughts so I'm . very sorry if it comes off as utter nonsense . there's a lot going on in my timeline it's hard to boil it down , really . also I applied headcanons for the "canon ending" of my timeline , which is Toppat King , so you're getting romantic triple threat , hope that's okay !

for reference: Henry uses they/it , Ellie she/her , and Charles he/him

- due to Henry's future sight and being caught in a timeloop with the help of Liaf , they feel very disconnected from others for a long time

- Ellie is able to see into their head through telepathy , so the two kinda accidentally develop an extremely powerful and eldritch bond even through the barrier of a timeloop . Ellie will always know Henry better than Henry perhaps knows itself , and Henry's choices will always lead it back to Ellie .

- Henry chooses to settle down in the TK timeline due to it being the best outcome long-term , from their perspective . They get married to Ellie and later on , Charles

- Charles is the Just Some Guy in the relationship ❤️

- post-TK Henry Charles and Ellie will fake capture Charles just so he can get away from his work for a while to hang out / go on dates . Charles is the one who proposed the idea (there are a million other much simpler solutions to get Charles from his duties but , to him , this is the most fun approach)

- this is less triple threat and more Charles but , Charles and RHM develop a very silly friendship . needless to say even despite his rank as a helicopter pilot for the government , Right likes him enough to accept him as one of their own

- the ideal date night for all three of them is going out into some crowded area and doing whatever is available to them . they like making every date an adventure together . fairs and festivals and theme parks are their favorites

- Although Ellie makes a big show of being more grounded than the others , in actuality she is just as chaotic if its funny . her responsibilties are second to her commitment to the bit .

- Charles is very touchy with his friends and loved ones , not just hugs but patting them on the back or shoulder , shaking them around , bumping their shoulder , etc. the others weren't used to it at first but they pretty quickly adjusted

- Ellie and Henry are rarely if ever seen apart . due to their weird divine relationship to one another they are very in sync as a married couple and Toppat leaders . Charles , due to his chaos powers of extreme empathy , learns to catch up with the connection the two share . although not nearly on the same level of Eldritch as the other two , he can read both of their emotions pretty plainly .

- Charles might eventually make the leap and join the Clan instead of living a double life , but he struggles with how to confront Galeforce about it without him freaking out

- Henry is very quiet and to themself and doesn't usually speak unless they absolutely must or are comfortable . Charles and Ellie are the only two who have consistently heard it talk .

- Ellie's best trait and worst flaw is her trust in others and the desire to give people second chances . Despite her history as a Toppat , she never wants to believe that anyone can be evil and self-serving everytime . this did get her in trouble back in the day (hence being at the Wall) , but it also allowed her to get close to Henry and get it to see that it can do and be better . Henry is very grateful for her .

- Charles is similarly very trusting , although less likely to give people second chances , he moreso operates on first impressions or orders given to him . His personal feelings may sometimes come secondary to his instructions . for some reason Henry and Ellie throw a wrench into his typical attitude . he just cannot bring himself to wish harm upon them , which really muddies things more when he starts to seek them out and talk to them . despite literally all of his orders telling him not to .

- Henry doesn't trust anybody because they don't even trust themself 👍 Their disconnect from people due to controlling the timeloop with Liaf is why they felt so Nothing about everything they've been doing . Until they met Ellie , and Ellie was the only person who saw what was up and that shook Henry to their core so bad they immediately started to reform . Henry nowadays is much , much better at trusting people , especially its partners .

[ahungeringknife]

365: May 1-2

Malik collided with someone in the hall so hard if they weren't six inches shorter than him he would have fallen over. Instead the boy not looking where he was going fell onto his ass. "Watch where you're fucking goi- oh, Kadar," Malik looked down at his little brother sprawled on the floor all heat seeping out of his voice in an instant.

"Little kids aren't allowed in this part of the fortress," Malik's friend Jummal said. Malik rolled his eyes. That wasn't true but Jummal was fucking annoying.

Kadar grunted as he picked himself and dusted off his down gray tunic. "I'm fine," he chirped, voice still high.

"What are you doing here?" Malik asked, just barely refraining from folding his arms. "You shouldn't be down here." The lower dungeons weren't forbidden or anything but it really wasn't a place for a thirteen year old. Malik was down here with Jummal for some more... intense training for the older boys. Stuff to toughen your stomach. At least they'd run into him, literally, near the stairs.

"I know. But I wanted to show you something," and Malik nearly popped a blood vessel when his brother started trying to take off his pants.

"NOPE," and he grabbed his brother by the scruff of his neck and dragged him out of the dungeon. Jammal laughed after him. "Shut up Jummal," Malik snapped over his shoulder.

"It's not anything weird," Kadar complained.

"Yeah okay ya freaks," Jummal called.

Malik still had a knife on him and at the top of stairs he grabbed one and threw it down towards Jummal who even laughing dodged out of the way. "My mark just came in. It's not weird," Kadar stuck his tongue out at Jummal.

"Keep walking," Malik growled and shoved Kadar away from the dungeon.

"See you at dinner, Mal," Jummal called after him, still snickering.

"Can you not embarrass me in front of my friends for five fucking seconds?" Malik asked Kadar sharply once they were around the corner. Malik loved his little brother but he was so annoying sometimes and there was nothing like having a little brother doing something embarrassing in front of your friends to make you lose all credibility you had.

"Sorry," Kadar said sheepishly looking up at Malik under his lashes with his big blue puppy dog eyes.

Malik sighed and rolled his eyes. But Allah he was such a sucker and couldn't stay mad at him forever. "Okay, lets see it," he said knowing this would get Kadar to not bother him about it again.

Kadar perked up and thankfully didn't take his pants off completely just enough to pull down the side to show his pale thigh. "See, see," he said excitedly. Soul marks came in when people hit puberty and their bodies started to change. They were often cryptic imagery that depicted one's soul mate. Kadar's was as vague and cryptic as any Malik had seen being black and sort of generically pretty wild flowers with a piece of intricate basket weaving flowing through it. If and when he found his match the mark would burst into color but for now it was all black and gray tones. "I woke up and there it was. I'm a man now," he said.

Malik scoffed. "I'd say you're not," he said.

"I am so," Kadar pulled his pants back up properly.

"Once your voice doesn't sound like this," Malik pitched his voice way up, higher than Kadar's childish voice, it cracked a little, "then maybe." Kadar laughed at Malik's imitation. "You got a long way to go," he dropped down to his normal pitch and ruffled his brother's hair. "Don't be in such a rush."

Kadar pouted at him. "I guess. You ever going to show me yours?" he asked.

"Nah, it's stupid," Malik said and started propelling Kadar towards the dining hall for dinner. Malik didn't like showing his. It was big though, took up his entire left flank. Sometimes when he got especially sweaty you could see the dark mark through his shirt.

"Aww, don't say that. I bet it's really pretty and that's why you don't like it," Kadar teased him, sticking his tongue out at him. "My brother's got tulips all over him doesn't he."

Malik rolled his eyes at Kadar practically dancing around in front of him. "As if," he said. But there were some tulips. Red like fresh blood.

"Then it's absolutely some cute little animals," Kadar snickered. "Like a bunny or little fawns," Kadar continued as they entered the dining hall. "Or a sweet little kitten-

"Yeah yeah shut up," Malik shoved him down onto the bench at the table. Kadar giggled.

"So what's the damage?" Jummal asked across from Malik.

"Wildflowers and baskets. He's going to find a nice boring girl-

"Hey! She won't be boring. She's going to be so cool and interesting. Just you wait," Kadar insisted. Then he scowled at Jummal. "What's yours anyway?"

"Some bread," Jummal only smiled when he talked about it and he did now. "I love bread."

"I swear your soul mate is just going to be the next loaf for dinner," Malik groused, making Jummal laugh.

Kadar turned to his other side, "What about you?" he asked a boy between his and Malik's age. Malik was helping himself to dinner, using a fresh pita to shovel meat and pilaf into his mouth.

"It's a dove," he said, also beaming. Kadar asked a few of the others at the table while Malik ate. The kid barely even noticed dinner or that Malik was putting food on his plate.

"What are you guys talking about?" and Malik only looked when Altair came and sat on his other side, their thighs briefly brushing together as he took a seat on the bench.

Malik swallowed hard to say, "Kadar's soul mark came in."

"Ah," and that was all Altair said, reaching across the table for things to stuff into an opened pita to make a kebab: lamb, vegetables and a bright red oil sauce Malik knew was hot enough to burn his mouth.

"What about you, Altair?" Kadar asked.

"Hmm?" Altair had already forgotten (or more like didn't care) what Kadar had been talking about.

"What's your mark?"

"A princess stabbing a dragon in the mouth," Altair said.

"Bullshit," Jummal rolled his eyes. "You told me last year it was a pigeon."

"He did? He told me it was a bunch of saffron flowers." Malik kept his eyes down at his food while several of their friends all said what Altair had told them what his mark was and they were all contradictory.

"So what is it?" Kadar asked once they'd settled down. Altair had his mouth full of kebab and just shrugged. "No fair," Kadar complained.

"Not for you, kid," was all Altair said.

"Lame," Kadar insisted.

"Yeah sure. Now eat your dinner or your balls are never going to drop and you'll be a scrawny shit forever," Malik said and everyone around him laughed to Kadar's squawk of outrage.

Malik looked himself in the mirror and brought the knife up to his face. He always pulled a face while shaving and tonight was no different. The shiny copper mirror was smooth enough to not completely distort his face. Only years of training stopped him from jumping when a pair of hands slid against his naked sides and around his chest. "Want some help?" Altair asked, voice soft, near his ear.

"It's just a touch up, I'm fine," Malik said but had taken Altair up on the offer before when he'd let it get a bit longer. He didn't really trust anyone else but Altair with a knife that close to his throat.

"Mmm," was all Altair said and his thumb gently stroked one of the red tulips that were part of Malik's mark.

"Almost believed the princess and dragon one at dinner," Malik said as he scraped the knife against his jaw.

Altair made a noise of amusement against his naked shoulder. "It's a good one. Some people even believe it," Altair said. Malik's skin twitched as Altair traced the insane depiction of Baʿal Šāmīn on his flank. Malik knew every line and curve of his mark and he knew Altair did too. Malik had read just about half the fortress' library looking for reference for what the fuck had appeared on his body years ago. Baʿal Šāmīn was an old god, maybe some bedouins still worshiped him?, and his domain was the sky. He was wrapped in white linens and armor seated on the ground with a sword across his lap and holding out a hand. His sword had the pommel of an eagle's head, his armor styled from normal overlapping mail almost to that of feathers, white, tawny, and a dull gray red. Red tulips rained down from his outstretched left hand like pouring blood. When he'd first seen Baʿal Šāmīn he'd been a stranger but since it'd come into color it wore Altair's face. As a young teen he'd been beyond confused by this man on his flank. But he'd gotten over it. Because it was such a wild mark and also in color he didn't show it to people. He'd been so mad when it'd first come into color too.

"Next time you should say it's just a river of blood," Malik said with a grin and Altair snorted into his shoulder. He paused to see if Altair would jostle him.

"That's just as believable," Altair said still lightly running his fingers over Baʿal Šāmīn and his red tulips. "Should Kadar be as worried as you were?"

"No unlike me Kadar's sane and clearly likes women," Malik said as he finished his touch up. He was trying to grow out the beard a bit but it just seemed a fool's errand. At least he could grow facial hair. Half of the boys in their training year were still peach faced babies; Altair being one of them.

"Ah. Too bad for him," Altair shrugged and the hair on the back of Malik's neck stood on end when Altair nuzzled him there.

Malik took a damp cloth and wiped the soap residue off his cheeks and neck. "Okay. I'm done. I can see you're being needy."

"Me? No. Never," Altair said with a voice that anyone else would clock as resentment but Malik heard as sarcasm.

Malik put the mirror back into his bag of shaving gear and cleaned the knife, stowing that away as well. Then Malik lightly pushed Altair's hands off him so he could moved around. Altair was his shadow as he went and sat on his bed, grabbing his shirt he's thrown there to pull on. "Hey now," Malik said when Altair grabbed his hands before he could put it on his shirt.

"You look better like this," Altair said and sat across his lap.

"Don't flatter me," Malik said.

"That's basically my job. So I will," Altair's mouth curled into a smirk. "Not like you're going to have a wife for that," and he pushed Malik down onto the bed, still holding his wrists.

"Gross," Malik said and that made him smile while Altair chuckled. Altair leaned down and kissed him and that was nice. It'd been a not so great day conditioning not to throw up around gore and death down in the dungeons but kissing his soul mate made it better.

Malik yanked one of his hands free to undo the belt around Altair's waist. Altair helped him pull the shirt out of his pants, his breath hot against Malik's face, and Malik put his hand up Altair's shirt. He didn't have to see Altair's mark to know exactly where it was and what it looked like. It was simply a sword that ran all the way down his chest, the point ending just above his groin, the hand guard fanning out under his chest and a intricate pommel in the shape of an eagle's head. It looked just like the sword Baʿal Šāmīn held in his own hand on Malik's flank. Altair never wore low collared shirts but if he did you could see the handle of the sword sticking out of his sternum, nesting against his collar bone.

Malik drew his hand up the length of Altair's mark and the other boy groaned softly against Malik's mouth when Malik fit his hand around Altair's neck like he was grasping the hilt of the sword. Far more gently than he ever would normally. His hand lingered there while his kissed Altair's warm mouth before sliding off his neck and back down his chest. Altair's breath was ragged by the time he pulled his hand out of his shirt, barely still kissing him.

"You're such a freak, Altair," Malik teased him.

"Shut the fuck up," Altair gasped and Malik snickered. "You're the one who literally has my face on your mark." That made Malik laugh louder. Yeah. That was true. It was pretty fucking weird.

"Yeah because that does nothing for your ego at all," Malik smirked.

"Better than you getting off to the fact that your last name is literally on my entire chest, freak," he said it right back and stuck out his tongue briefly.

"Keep it up and it'll be the only part of me on your chest tonight," and Altair shoved his hand over Malik's mouth, absolutely red faced. Malik just grinned against his palm. Sucker. He wasn't oblivious to the fact that Altair was hard as a fucking rock sitting on him after putting his hand around his neck.

"You are such a shit," Altair hissed, face still burning. Malik thought it was cute how flustered he got. Malik said something against his palm but it came out as just noise. "Sorry what was that?" Altair asked, not moving his hand. Malik said it again. "Sorry I can't hear you when your mouth is full." Malik just rolled his eyes.

Altair removed his hand a moment later. "I said 'yeah but you love that I'm a shit'," Malik said smugly.

It didn't linger long at the soft look Altair gave him. "Yeah. I guess so," he said quietly and leaned down, kissing Malik again, this time far more gently and it gave Malik goosebumps. "I do love you," Altair said as a secret against his lips. Like every time Altair said it a thrill went down Malik's spine. It was pretty exciting after all, finding your soul mate so young; even if you were both shitty teenagers. And sometimes Malik just wanted to kill him but just because it was meant to be didn't mean you didn't still have to try for it and Altair could be so fucking annoying. Their marks had almost broken after they'd become colored, both pissed off at who'd colored their marks.

But that was years ago. They'd figured it out. They'd figured... this out. And Malik wouldn't want it any other way really.

[unholyverse]

awsten knight in kerrang! issue #1654

(full text under the cut)

THE ULTIMATE ROCKSTAR TEST

AWSTEN KNIGHT WATERPARKS

HOW DO YOU BECOME HEIR-APPARENT TO POP-PUNK'S THRONE? EAT CIGARETTES AND BREAK YOUR FEET…

ON ROCK'N'ROLL…

YOUR ALBUM'S CALLED DOUBLE DARE. WHAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE FOR A DARE?

"One time I lit my pants on fire. I was sitting on the couch with my friend, playing with matches, and he said, 'I bet you won't set your pants on fire.' I said, 'Fuck you', and I did it. We freaked out because the flames were getting really big, so he went and got a wet towel and squeezed it out over my pants. Another time I ate a cigarette in a graveyard while we were out there playing with a Ouija board.""

WHAT'S THE MOST OUT-OF-CONTROL SHOW YOU'VE EVER PLAYED?

"Back when we used to play just locally in Houston, we used to play a lot of small places. They were the sort of places where there was no security and no barricades, and a lot of the time people would basically be on the stage. They'd be stepping on pedal boards and stuff, so there were times when we had to ask them to please step off our equipment. It was all good fun."

HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED BECAUSE OF THE BAND?

"We saw this setting we wanted to take some new pictures by. Basically, we had to do some trespassing to get to the spot, and there was a 15-foot fence. When I jumped off it I landed very wrong and busted up both my feet. I don't remember what it's called, but there's this thing that connects the front and back of your feet, and I tore both of them."

We presume you mean tendons, but it could have been your socks.

FAILS AND F UPS…

WHAT'S THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU ONSTAGE?

"I don't really get embarrassed, and if I do fuck something up it's usually on purpose, whether that's singing a part in a weird, goofy way or anything else. I can't even recall falling over onstage. There was one time I nearly went off a 10-foot stage at a House Of Blues venue somewhere. I was spinning round and went right to the edge, but I didn't die, so that's good."

WHAT'S THE WORST SONG YOU'VE EVER WRITTEN?

"I've written plenty of bad songs, but with Waterparks I'd say Bones Of '92 or Easter Egg. I just don't like Bones Of '92—it's not a very good song. With Easter Egg, it doesn't flow well and it doesn't make sense."

Did you hear that, everyone? No Easter eggs for Awsten this year…

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS…

WHAT'S BEEN YOUR WEIRDEST-EVER FAN ENCOUNTER?

"There have been so many weird ones, but the one that made me feel the weirdest was when a mom came up and asked me to take a picture with her daughter. The girl was crying but I thought, 'Okay - sometimes people cry when they meet the bands they like. Then the mother said, 'She's sad because one of her best friends just died. Now take a picture with her, smile.' I was like, 'What the fuck is happening?" I was trying to talk to the daughter, the mom was oblivious and it was just the most awkward situation I've ever been in."

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE STARSTRUCK?

"The time I went to Pete Wentz's house. He was having us on his radio show for an interview and I couldn't believe I was there. He brought us out water in boxes, which was really weird. I was just sitting there going, "What the fuck, I'm at Pete Wentz's house!" It was nuts."

Water in boxes, eh? How the other half live…

ON THE HYPOTHETICAL…

GOOD CHARLOTTE ASK YOU TO GUEST ON A SONG, BUT WHAT THEY PLAY YOU IS SHIT. DO YOU TELL THEM?

"I would, but I'd definitely still do it. It might have been shitty on purpose, and if that was the case I could go and be shitty on purpose and get with that vibe. That could be really funny"

WOULD YOU RATHER BE ABLE TO SPEAK TO ANIMALS OR SPEAK EVERY HUMAN LANGUAGE FLUENTLY?

"Animals, easy. I talk to enough people as it is, and I love animals. I went to a pet adoption thing a couple of days ago and there was this dog looking at me. I felt like he loved me more than any human had ever loved me and he'd only just met me. If I could hear the love that he was expressing I would be completely fulfilled."

Get a dog-translator app-there probably is one now. Then feel the love…

SPIRITUAL HEADMELTER…

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

"Yes, I do. I told you I ate that cigarette when I was in a graveyard with a Ouija board, and we used to do that a lot. We'd seek out haunted places a couple of times a week. I had to stop because I got too freaked out. It's really fun to do all that but then when you're alone afterwards, that fucking sucks."

Imagine how the ghosts feel when you leave…

"I USED TO GO LOOKING FOR GHOSTS A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK" - AWSTEN KNIGHT

WORDS: PAUL TRAVERS PHOTO: ANDREW STUART

[joohanisms]

yk i always think about how irl sex is sometimes Not Great or things go wrong, be it with someone you love or not. and i'm a real-sex-in-smut warrior so

things going wrong <3

(half written before i went ia)

(hi this is VERY badly done like fr only jungsus was written properly)

gunil

surprise ur bleeding

jungsu

you're getting fucked soooo good.

you're in missionary position, jungsu is kissing you stupid and your hands are tangling in his hair. it's a very late night, the only source of light is the moonlight peeking through the blinds, and the only thing that can be heard is the panting and whispering of each other's names.

"baby, i'm so close. are you? can you cum with me?" he buries his face on your shoulder, mouthing sloppily at the skin. you're a little far behind, but that's nothing that can't be fixed.

you grab one of his hands, guiding it towards your clit. "just need a little bit more, please, please, i'm nearly there."

his pretty fingers start immediately playing with you, with the pressure and pace just the way you like it – fine, maybe a tad too desperate for how far off orgasm you are, but can you blame him? you'll get there either way.

"i'm too close, i won't make it – i can't hold it much longer, can i cum, please? i swear i won't stop, i'll make you cum too, just – please, baby?" jungsu's voice is getting strained, and you've been with him long enough to know that yes, he will make you cum. he's never left you hanging, and today will not be the first time he does.

"go on. i'm right behind you, just– don't stop, please."

well, famous last words.

he cums into the condom with a shudder, his fingers stuttering on your clit. his voice is heavenly in your ears, moaning like he's just ascended to a higher plane. he rides it out, slowing down a bit, but soon after he's jackhammering into you, middle finger pressing down on your nerves and mouth back on yours.

he's been at it for 15 seconds at most, when you feel a sudden warmth inside you. it's weird, it's never happened before and you're damn sure it did not come from you. jungsu apparently notices as well, seeing as he freezes immediately, leaving your mouth and looking at you with wide eyes.

you stare at each other in complete silence.

"was that–" you can't even finish your sentence before he's pulling out and looking at you with an expression not too far from horror.

you look at his cock, and your suspicions are confirmed. hanging rather pathetically from his still hard length, covered in cum, is a piece of rubber very clearly torn.

"oh my god," is all that leaves his mouth.

your heart is beating out of your chest, and any hope of cumming tonight leaves your body.

it would've been fine if you were, well, on birth control. and jungsu is very aware of how much you're not on birth control. his mouth is still open in an 'O', his gaze keeps flitting between your cunt and his quickly softening dick.

"fuck." you get up and rush to the bathroom, leaving your boyfriend to fumble after you.

he very hastily removes the damned condom, throwing it haphazardly on the trashcan beside your desk. he's a little too freaked out for anything other than leaning against the closed bathroom door and apologizing.

"i'm so sorry, oh my god, i'm sorry, i should've pulled out, i–"

"jungsu, calm down." is the snappy response he receives before the sound of the toilet flushing is followed by the door opening and him nearly falling to the bathroom floor. "it'll be fine."

the poor boy is clearly spiraling over thoughts along the lines of "what if i gave them some medically undiscovered sti" to "i don't even have the money for a child right now". you take pity on him, placing your hands on his cheeks to get his attention.

"you're clean, right?"

he sputters, "of course i am! i'd never try to fuck you– i'd tell you if i wasn't!"

"then it's fine. we'll go to the drugstore first thing in the morning and get the plan b. and, i don't know, pray it works." his eyes widen and you regret the playful quip. "i'm kidding, baby. it'll work fine."

"but what if it–"

"jungsu, it'll work. if it wasn't effective they wouldn't sell it." as much as you're a little pissed and anxious about the situation, he looks way worse. you peck his lips, pulling him into the bathroom with you. "you're still paying for it, though."

he chuckles, seeming a little lighter about the situation. "of course. it's always cheaper than a baby."

"there's always abortion, too. or would you want to keep it?" you start the shower – you're clearly not getting that orgasm you were almost close to – jumping as he slaps your ass.

"stop talking about the nonexistent pregnancy. you're making me nervous."

"sorry." you smile softly at him, pulling him under the spray with you. "we'll figure out some kind of birth control. i'm scared you won't ever fuck me again after this."

jungsu laughs, grabbing the shampoo. "you bet i won't. this is enough to turn me abstinent."

"you still owe me an orgasm, though?"

"then you better get acquainted with your fingers." you slap his shoulder as he cackles, and maybe, just maybe, it'll actually be fine.

jiseok

his fucking shoes won't come off / y'all fell off the bed

seungmin

he says something trying to be sexy and you can only laugh

hyeongjun

yall are drunk and he cant get hard noooooo

you're giggling while hyeongjun is attached to your neck, probably leaving marks that will take you forever to cover up the next day.

youve both drunk too much and wine usually Does give people the hornies soooo

you were out and left for the sole reason of fucking when yall get home

didnt even make it to the bed the couch will do

ur underwear is down so quick you can only feel his fingers spreading the wetness around while rubbing at your clit

in a minute he has a finger in you curling it justttt the right way

obv you cant let him do everything by himself. his soft cock is pulled out as you massage it

you're drunk so time loses meaning kinda

so after a while he puts another finger in and all is well bc you just . don't realise his status hasn't changed

"omg babe stop stop that hurts wtf"

he's.. not hard ?

"are you okay?"

"i am i just . uh. you were on my dick for a little too long"

"tf you mean by that ? you're not getting hard .."

"well i fucking know it's my cock?"

"damn okay dont snap at me?"

"sorry i just . i don't know what happened"

"maybe lets change positions? we can 69 i'll suck you off"

spoiler it didn't work

"babe are u ok like fr "

"i can't get hard . omg i can't get hard wtf i'm so sorry i knew how much you wanted to-"

"babe wtf don't apologize? that happens it's nbd you can fuck me in the morning"

"yeah but i wanted to fuck u now? 'm sorry babe wtf this is so embarassing"

"shut up ? its okay stop apologizing"

morning fuck

jooyeon

the door to your apartment is slammed as jooyeon crashes his lips to yours, pressing you against the closest wall.

you had been on a date – a nice and innocent afternoon at the arcade – but the little sundress you wore with lingerie that barely covered whatever had to be covered ruined any innocence there was.

after bending down to pick up the stuffed animal you got at a claw machine and giving him a view of your ass, jooyeon blew all the money he spent on arcade tokens with half-assed tries at the very same claw machine you got your little stuffed puppy from and dragged you back to your car.

he didn't even bother pushing you into the backseat for a quickie, he just settled into the passenger seat, brought you into a heated open-mouthed kiss as you sat in front of the wheel and said "drive before i finger you so hard you crash the car."

ok joo maybe you should lay off the dramas you've been watching

although, driving did not stop you from reaching over the gear stick and palming him through his jeans, making his hips jump into your touch.

by the time you finally parked your car he was more than fed up with the teasing.

back to being pressed against the entrance hall wall in your apartment, jooyeon kicked off his shoes while still attached to your mouth and fumbled with the clasp of your sandals until he managed to drop both to the ground.

his hands gripped your ass, pulling your asscheeks apart and making you gush into your skimpy underwear.

"you better take me to the bed and fuck me until i cry." needless to say, you were both turned on to no end. in seconds, your back was hitting the mattress and your underwear was being pulled down.

jooyeon flipped up your dress and immediately dove into your cunt. if there's something you can be sure will happen, is that foreplay with jooyeon will always involve oral. even if today he was horny to the point where he won't make you cum with his tongue, but only make sure you can take him, he always made you feel so good your toes curled.

his nose pressed against your clit [stopped writing here sorry yall. point is he cums early. two strums and the song is over. duas sanfonadas acabou o forró]

[lumilasi]

Finished this. When I don't have BG ideas, I tend to start playing around with colors like this. I did grab the palette from the OG version. (Original version here, warning its VERY old and it shows lmao)

Also apparently I'd written down the scene this is from into the OG drawing too, but the thing is, due to my revamping of this fic in 2020, I probably reworded that scene as well so I had to go and find it anyway lol. Thankfully the original piece at least says which chapter it was from.

From chapter 18 of Reanimate:

Tenko woke up to the noise of his window opening.

He looks up groggily, finding Dabi standing on his room as usual. He sighs and slumps down closing his eyes and throwing an arm over his eyes.

"..Is this revenge for waking you up so ’early?”

"No, but now that you said it...”

Dabi chuckles and plops beside him, prying the arm away from Tenko’s eyes, gaining a pouty look as a response. The red eyes turn concerned soon however, as a spots the hint of unease in the glowing eyes.

"What’s the matter?”

He asks, shifting to his side and brushing three fingers over his stitched cheek. Dabi remains quiet for a while, just examining his face closely. He was clearly thinking of something sappy again, but for once Tenko didn’t call him out on it, not when he looked a bit spooked by something.

"It’s probably nothing, I just...I’ve been feelin’ a lil under the weather today.”

"What? You got a flu or something? Can walking candles like you get a flu?”

Tenko asks and jokingly places the three fingers against his forehead, gaining a chuckle from his boyfriend, who grasps the fingers and kisses them gently. It was brave, most who knew his quirk wouldn’t touch his hands so easily, but Dabi wasn’t most people.

"Nah, just....I’m guessing I’m still a lil’ weirded out about the park thing. I don’t usually go to that direction, even when drunk.”

"Yeah it was weird. Then again you just saw Shoto, so maybe your drunk brain wanted to go see him.”

Dabi shrugs, not knowing whenever that was true or not. He then pauses and contemplates on something for a moment, long enough for Tenko’s worry to return.

"Really, what is it?”

"Ah...I just...I actually saw Shoto today too, and he told me something about that morning that kinda creeped me out.”

"Huh?”

"He said...he said there was something weird about my eyes. He didn’t outright say it, but I could tell whatever he saw then scared him. Now, I don’t care if I freak out coupla punks on the street or so, but I’d....I don’t want Shoto to be scared of me, ever.”

He huffs that all out in one breath, and once he’s done, he rolls to his back and rubs his eyes, cursing under his breath. Tenko waits for a moment, then shifts to rest on top of him, and Dabi instantly places his arms around his boyfriend, hand resting on his lower back.

"I don’t think he was. He probably just imagined things, with how it was dark and all. You do look spooky in pitch blackness. Remember that time you scared Spinner shitless when lights went out due to a storm?”

Tenko pokes his forehead with a finger, and Dabi let’s out a chuckle, lifting a hand to mingle it into the light blue hair. It was always so soft to touch, he couldn’t stop doing it every time he saw this often angry, sometimes playful and always gorgeous mophead.

"Yeah, he almost smacked me thinkin’ I was a ghost or something. It ain’t my fault he’s a lil bitch that gets scared easily.”

Tenko hums, leaning his head against his palm - pinkie not touching of course - and Dabi nearly had a heart attack at that moment. His mophead was so damn pretty, especially with the light from the window behind them forming a halo around his delicately colored hair.

"Dabi. Stop with the sap.”

"Why do you keep whining about it when you clearly like it?”

"It’s a matter of principle, scarecrow.”

The fire user laughs at that, feeling his mind ease a bit. He felt more relaxed now, the uneasy feeling having been lifted from him with just a bit of playful banter. He uses his hand on Tenko’s hair to bring him closer, and the boy doesn’t resist, answering the kiss with as much enthusiasm as Dabi showed by initiating it.

Yeah, it was a good call to come here.

Tenko had a calming effect on him, just like he had a calming effect on Tenko.

After a moment, he rolled over to pin the skinnier boy beneath him, gaining a slight squeak and a pouty look, which quickly disappears as he continues the kiss.

Yeah, this was fine.

Right now he was fine.

[bearcubblues]

hi sorry uh this may seem like a weird request but little jimmy de Santa Hcs?

YEEEESSSSSS NOT WEIRD AT ALL

jimmy de santa is a boy that did not get a normal childhood. he is soooo a regressor and a young one at that

- he 100% knows exactly what it is and very openly makes fun of it to his friends because . well he doesn't want them to know

- ultra secretive about it. none of his close friends know about it at allll

- ^ but i think he would have an online cg. someone he met on discord or something and he gets really embarrassed to talk to them whenever he's not regressed

- still on the online cg i think they would just stream cartoons for him and make sure he's safe and happy. probably a girl he would call them mama

- baby regressor i think and is scared of literally everything. god forbid he regresses while he's gaming he just goes afk immediately and his friends are like dude??? wtf????

- does not EVER leave his room. ever. if tracey saw him he would start bawling immediately

- ^ big crybaby scaredy cat i think. scared of his own room decor so will put calming visuals on his tv and listen to music from when he was a kid so he doesn't freak out

- sometimes really wishes he could be with michael because regressed jimmy doesn't understand why he shouldn't like him. he just misses his dad he wants a hug

- overall just a baby. doesn't know anything. scared. cries. you know the vibes

thanks so much for requesting!!! not nearly enough jimmy appreciation i think