#he goes out of his way to avoid having relationships with equals and doesn't want an opponent he can't crush

[agnesandhilda]

the key difference between kaiser and isagi as guys who boost their self-esteem by beating others is that isagi isn't satisfied by overcoming opponents who aren't a match for his skill while kaiser exclusively picks fights he thinks he can win 

[mixtpecas]

It's 2 am and I'm just thinking about how Cas and Eileen became such complimentary partners for Dean and Sam even when the show (slash Chuck) didn't let them have a happy ending.

Like, Sam wanted independence from his family and hunting. Not because he hated hunting necessarily, but because it represented everything his dad seemed to value over him and his opinions. And throughout the show he does make his own choices, but more often than not they end up with him getting possessed or some other kind of loss of autonomy. And with everyone he dates there seems to be that fear of losing control - not that he's controlling per say, but that he can't really let his guard down. Jess, Amy, Amelia, might know About him, but he doesn't seem to show much real vulnerability or deeper trust in them.

And Eileen gets that - she was written to mirror Sam, but it's not like she's his clone. While Sam seems more run down by everything that's happened to him by the time he meets her, Eileen still has that fire that leads her to do good on her own terms. And because she understands both the hunting and independence aspects of Sam's life, her and Sam can see each other as equals, instead of falling into that civilian/hunter or protector/protectee approach that relationships in the show usually lean towards. It's a real breath of fresh air for me, and feels a lot like how I'd imagine an ideal relationship for Sam - someone that isn't afraid to challenge him, but also encourages him to speak up for himself and value his own feelings.

Then with Dean, there's a lot of similarities to Sam (obviously, with their shared upbringing lol) but he can also be his counterpart. Sam wants trust placed in him and independence, Dean wants commitment and for someone to not leave him. But like Sam's relationships, Dean definitely falls right into the Protector role and what he thinks he should be doing, not what he actually needs or wants (like with Cassie and Lisa). And for him, I feel like it's less about not trusting them (Dean actually confides in people fairly often!) but more about his understandings about relationships and his own self. Dean has been treated (intentionally and unintentionally) as a blunt instrument, someone unchangeable, someone to look to for comfort, etc. even before Mary died ("It's okay Mom, I'll never leave you" comes to mind).

Cas reflects this in the extreme - any of his own feelings were lobotimized out of him and it was seen as impossible for angels to feel at all without falling. For him, he could see Dean as a smaller-scale mirror to what he was feeling. And Dean could see Cas as a more abstract, less intimidating way to see his own life. Like Eileen and Sam, Dean and Cas understand each other as soon as they meet each other. Cas tells Dean he has doubts! Dean prays to Cas after a lifetime of not believing in angels! Their similarities let them connect but their differences let them grow - Dean is so stubborn and full of feeling that Cas finally has the final push to rebel. Cas is the most powerful thing Dean's ever met when he saves him from Hell, so Dean feels safe to rely on him and trust someone to answer him if he asks (or prays). And again, their similarities are at the ground of it all, so they stay as partners and equals.

For Chuck (and the writers) this kind of healthier partnership dynamic goes against the kind of romance they love, that focuses on avoidance and saviour complexes. If Dean and Sam feel secure in their senses of self outside of one another, and are encouraged to keep that up, what happens to the Cycles of Family Trauma Show?? Plus, there's the added elements of Cas being a man and Eileen being deaf (resulting in Despair and the Blurry Wife). Sam and Dean both needed Eileen and Cas at certain points in their stories, whether that was to rescue them, motivate them, give them something to lose, etc. But even though plot development was the main intention for these relationships, they signalled something outside of the routine Cain and Abel story. Instead of just representing that kind of unattainable happy future, Eileen and Cas developed genuine relationships with the brothers that encouraged them to be more genuine people, and eventually led them to defeat God.

[000-pawz]

how sungho loves ( zodiac series ) ˚ · .

how i think sungho would navigate relationships/love/communication based on his natal chart/birth chart!

wc: 1k+

more under the cut!

"trust, honesty, and devotion" are the first three words that enter my mind when i look at sungho's chart!

to put it simply, sungho isn't a "flirt". he'd rather pay attention to the little detail about you and act accordingly!!! he can come across as a rather quiet lover, preferring to keep his feelings at bay until he is completely sure that you are as serious about the relationship as he is. because of his virgo sun, he usually avoids taking risks, so he thinks through every possible outcome of confessing his feelings to you before he actually does. it's not easy for him to let people in romantically ><

sungho is very intentional and direct with his words—he does not beat around the bush. because of his mercury in virgo, he kind of carries a "no nonsense" attitude when it comes to his relationships. if he genuinely likes you and sees a future with you, he's not going to pretend he doesn't! he only involves himself in relationships he sees as worth the effort, and trust that he will give his all when he's serious about you ^___^

with his moon being in sagittarius, i see his main love language as quality time. he likes to be active, so he enjoys dates based around exploration like traveling and trying out new things! he loves, loves, loves spending time with you and gains so much energy from being in your presence. he enjoys banter and a sense of playfulness in his partner.

he's a huge fan of acts of service as well. he'll do all of the chores around the house, buy and cook you as much food at you want, help you brush and dry your hair. anything he can do that helps you relieve stress, he's on it. with his mars in pisces, he just wants to please you. his main goal is for you to happy and proud to be with him. he needs to feel needed and valued!! he's especially sensitive around his waistline, so please give him hugs around the waist! it makes him feel so secure.

since his venus squares pluto, he loves very deeply and intensely. he's ready to live through thick and thin with you and grow together to become better versions of yourself.

sungho loves quietly, but his small actions should never go unnoticed! the best way to make him feel loved is to make him feel appreciated and noticed. a "thank you", "you're doing so well", "you've been working so hard", or a "i'm proud of you" goes a long way. he doesn't need any flashy acts of loyalty or a shakespear poem recited to him. he just wants to know that you love him and appreciate him.

when it comes to ideal types, i think sungho is someone who is attracted to those who can stimulate his mind, bring something new to the table, and are equally as adventurous. he likes people who are honest about not only their feelings for him, but their own internal emotions. sungho especially likes people who can handle his sarcasm, push and pull, and match his wit.

he doesn't have time for people who are unsure of what they want! he lives passionately and is most compatible with those who can keep up with his pace and enthusiasm for life. he likes when his partner is confident and simplistic, but never cocky. i have a feeling that he appreciates those who aren't always in the spotlight, as well!!!

sungho is a very optimistic person because of his sun conjunction with venus. ^___^ he tries to see the good in people, but he can overly critical at times. it's never his intention to hurt anyone! he's just very blunt and straightforward when it comes to his feelings. this is why it's important for him to have a partner that understands his true nature and complexity, rather than just seeing him on the surface level.

trust is a very, very big thing for him. he's completely open and honest with his feelings, and he expects his partner to do the same. if he feels like his trust has been broken, he can be pretty confrontational. if he's especially stressed or overwhelmed, he can be very sensitive, but because of his mars in pisces, he forgives very quickly. he hates the feeling of being upset with you and he'll want to work on any problems immediately and thoroughly.

sungho isn't immune to jealousy either. with the slightest hint that your attention or interest is moving away from him, he'll internalize those feelings. with his moon conjunction pluto, he has a habit of to hiding his negative feelings which can result in emotional outbursts and arguments. this can lead to a lot of guilt because rationally, he knows that you love him, but he overthinks a lot. since his sun squares his moon, he has some conflicts with emotional insecurity. he can get fussy sometimes, so a person who can provide him with patience and security is ideal.

one way you'll know for sure if sungho is in love with you would be him relinquishing his control. his sun, mercury, and venus are all ruled by virgo so he innately craves management and order. he strives for perfection always, but this can lead to built-up tension and stress if he doesn't have a safe environment to retreat to. vulnerability is a sensitive thing for him with his moon in sagittarius. people who don't know him that well can see his values of independence as aloofness or being scared of commitment, but that is the opposite of the truth! his passion for his lover shines through when he gives up control.

this give-and-take relationship is the key to balance and stability with sungho. when sungho feels completely comfortable with you, he'll let you take care of him for once. try being the big spoon, playing with his hair, and letting him vent to you without inputting your own opinions. (and he'll never admit it, but he loves being babied as well.) he'll turn into putty in your hands <3

reblogs are greatly appreciated! lmk what u think or if you have any other takes!!! i'm always open to learning more :o thank u...<3

series masterlist

masterlist

[ramjam]

Hi... long time no NnT-Analysis.

I want to talk about Lancelot and Tristan's dynamic. I'll be putting it under a read-more so I don't spam your dashboard.

First, let's take a look at their designs.

Tristan's Signature Color: Blue-ish Teal

Lancelot's Signature Color: Pink-ish Red

According to color theory, these two colors complement one another. Nakaba utilizes complementary colors quite often in his designs. You'll notice this in many of the most important pairs. It's a visual way to emphasize the connection between two people.

The use of complementary colors goes as far as Lancelot's Sin disguise. When he takes that form, he wears a teal collar... Just like how Tristan wears a collar with Lancelot's red.

Both of them also got their hair colors from their mother, while the style is more similar to their fathers. They have what has been described as a "feminine" appearance. Lancelot is incredibly bothered by this, to the extent he tries really hard to present as masculine. Tristan on the other hand doesn't seem to be bothered by it himself.

Their first volume covers also mirror one another.

Their namesakes are pulled from Arthurian mythos. In some of the original stories, Lancelot and Tristan do act similarly as friends who are "two sides of the same coin" in a way. Fated companions who counter one another.

Going into actual plot stuff now. The way their stories are intertwined, the particular tropes their relationship embodies, and why it's important.

The growth of both of their characters is often explored through their connection. For example, Lancelot first learned to read hearts while dueling Tristan.

Ban references the moment Lancelot received his scar here. Tristan was so excited while dueling his friend, that he lost control of himself. The heightened emotions awakened the dark magic in him that he inherited from his father. Tristan blacked out, striking Lancelot.

This was a significant moment for both of them. Tristan and Lancelot both experienced an "awakening" here, which set them down their respective paths and cemented their bond.

Lancelot is quite literally marked by him. With this scar, there will always be apart of him that is irreversible tied to his relationship with Tristan.

Additionally, the fact Tristan had hurt and permanently scarred Lancelot is what triggered Tristan's anxiety about fighting. It affected him so deeply that he began to fear combat, instead wanting to pursue a path of healing. So that it would never happen again.

The bulk of this film takes place when they're both 14. Which is a few years after Lancelot initially went missing. He felt the need to hide his identity, but even in his disguise, he wanted to somehow push Tristan to his peak performance.

This illustrates how Lancelot never once viewed him as a threat. Tristan isn't a monster to him... He wants to see him exercise the strength that Tristan is so terrified of.

(I wish this site had CC, but Lancelot wolf-whistles at him before this line...)

Lancelot knows Tristan well enough to be aware that these fears would hold him back in combat. He takes action when they fight together, pushing and prodding him until he is forced to conquer that fear and act.

Tristan's hesitancy comes from his care for Lancelot. He's terrified at the thought of ever hurting him-- or anyone-- again. Lancelot sees this differently. He views Tristan's attitude as if he's viewing Lancelot as someone weak who needs protection. He has faith in Tristan's strength and never doubts him. But that faith only makes things more complicated when Tristan avoids facing him. Lancelot knows he's capable and he wants to be his equal in that regard.

Earlier, I referenced Ban's comment in the one-shot where he wonders if Lancelot's behavior at that time had to do with this duel. There's an implication that part of why Lancelot felt so restless and inadequate had to do with Tristan's rejection. This was worsened by the fact that Lancelot had learned to read hearts, so he could see what Tristan must've been thinking in that moment. Tristan's concern doesn't come from viewing Lancelot as weak, but that's how Lancelot interpreted his heart and his words.

Between that and being babied by his parents, he lashed out and ran away to "prove himself." Which is how he went missing to begin with.

He didn't want to stop like Tristan did. He wanted to keep going. Tristan's strength motivated him, but Tristan didn't return those feelings because of his own self-loathing.

In the end, Lancelot is the one who convinces Tristan to embrace his power. He vowed to be there to stop Tristan in case things ever go too far.

Lancelot reads Tristan's heart in this moment and smiles to himself.

Lancelot's love for his friend manifests through his desire to propel Tristan to his peak potential. Through Lancelot's affection, Tristan changes forever. His pure faith in Lancelot and his intentions was all he needed to conquer his fears. To him, he doesn't need to be worried about losing himself, because he has Lancelot.

Many years pass since this moment, but Tristan still views Lancelot as that anchor he needs by his side. Tristan's control over his power has grown significantly, but he still fears using it without Lancelot by his side.

Something interesting about their dynamic in the present day is the way the dynamic has flipped. While Tristan respects Lancelot's power, now he is the one feeling weak in comparison. This is also a testament to the strength of their bond. While Tristan feels they're no longer "equal", it doesn't drive a wedge in their relationship. He isn't resentful or jealous, it doesn't push him away from Lancelot. Their bond is too strong for that.

Not to mention, what seems to bother him more than anything else is the fact that Lancelot won't discuss how he gained this new power. He's bothered by the way his friend vanished without a word for so long, and now refuses to talk about what happened.

Regardless, this just means that Tristan trusts Lancelot's abilities without question. The moment he arrives, Tristan believes so strongly in his ability to win above anyone else. If anyone can defeat the King of Camelot, it will be his closest companion.

Circling back to Lancelot being his anchor: This is pretty common in fantasy Shounen. Leading characters who possess dark magic often have a partner who they rely on to bring them back down, or stop them from going too far and losing themself. However, you usually see it between the leading male main character and the female secondary protagonist... In fact, this is the exact dynamic Meliodas and Elizabeth had with each other in the original manga.

This dynamic came up frequently whenever Meliodas went full-demon mode. But this page from the Holy War arc in particular really reminds me of Lancelot's line where he says he'll "beat Tristan into the dirt if he has to."

Considering these two are Tristan's parents, you'd think the parallel with Tristan would be between him and Isolde, or something. But it's not. It's with Lancelot.

Their chemistry is so natural. They spend some time apart, but nothing really changes. The play off of each other so easily and understand each other so deeply.

Lancelot teases him for a lot of things. Being air-headed, being childish around his parents, etc. But it isn't mean-spirited, and Tristan knows that. It's just an aspect of their relationship and one of the ways Lancelot shows affection to people. That's Tristan's best friend who is mean to him, but he still calls him by a cute little nickname ("Lance.")

The implications that Tristan has called Lancelot out for being like his father before is really funny. Quick lines like this convey a lot about a relationship, it demonstrates that familiarity.

I have a lot more I could say about them, but Tumblr apparently has a 30 image limit per-post. I'm just really excited to see what comes next for them in the timeskip. I suspect all of these building themes are going to come together in some pretty important ways the closer that we get to the main conflict of the sequel.

This analysis isn't necessarily meant to be shippy... But I do ship them, lol... ❤️

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Space ~ B.A.

A/n: LOVE touching on the way Iris and Barry create their relationship by high key sabotaging every other possibility bc they feel inevitable... great shit.

Request: “Barry x male reader, reader and Barry been having issues so reader goes to stay with Kara for awhile.” By anon

Word Count: 2,000+

MASTERLIST

"So... are we going to talk about that?"

Y/n's jaw worked as he mulled over Kara's question. He couldn't expect her not to ask questions after all of that. She was a good friend, she worried. And Y/n didn't want to spend this entire trip running from his feelings. It would only make things worse.

On the other hand he really didn't want to talk about it.

But that may have been him trying to run from his feelings. Like usual. How well did that ever go?

He looked at her, taking in her barely contained curiosity and anxiety. The last time she had run into Barry and his boyfriend the two were newly in love after ages of pining and beating around the bush. They were full of relief at being able to hold hands and use pet names, and got borderline ridiculous if they ever kissed. Kara had joked they were the goal; the base line. Someone would look at her that way someday.

Now the two men were cold and distant, and when they'd gotten Kara the help she needed and Barry went to go back to his own world Y/n had asked to stay? In an entirely different universe where Barry Allen didn't even know who Y/n L/n was. Had never even heard of him. They were complete strangers in this world.

Sighing, Y/n leaned against the desk behind him and Kara tried not to grin as she realized he was about to talk about his feelings. Y/n never did such things no matter how many times she prodded and begged - but this was not a situation that called for smiling or teasing. She listened instead as Y/n began, "Barry and I have been having problems."

Kara raised an eyebrow. She was hesitant to push such a delicate string of luck but it seemed Y/n was about to stop and he really hadn't said much yet. "Problems?"

Once he started he couldn't stop. "First it was the newspaper with Iris' byline. I mean, he's been in love with her for near his entire life and everything was screaming that she would choose him back eventually. Eddie died, Patty and Linda didn't work out for several reasons - mostly because he couldn't open up to them. But that's not-" He closed his eyes, realizing he was going off on a tangent. "The point is," he began again slowly. "Barry and Iris are like, soulmates? Or something? And it started with the newspaper but then there was Earth 2, and the fact that they always know each other everywhere we go - even if vaguely. Like they're drawn to each other. Inevitable. There are worlds where I don't know Barry Allen and he doesn't know me, but they always have each other."

Slowly, Kara asked, "You're jealous of Iris?"

Y/n scoffed. "I'm not just mindlessly jealous. It wouldn't bother me so much if the name on the by line of the newspaper had changed. If it said Iris West instead, or Iris soemthing-else. But it doesn't. It still Iris West-Allen. And I feel like... a filler." His shoulders sagged and his face twisted with agony. "It doesn't help that he started to drop our plans to hang out with her. And I realized that actually he always prioritizes her. Our plans never overlap, like he's desperate not to have to choose, and then they do and he chooses her. And it's fine, she's family, but I thought I was too. I thought we'd at least be equally as important. And then Savitar comes and he goes after Iris - still. Iris and Barry weren't together, but his life falls apart if she dies. Like-" He blinked tears out of his eyes. "Like she's his whole world. Cisco can't save him, or Caitlyn."

"Or you," Kara realized, her face crumbling as it fully settled in.

The man shrugged. "Or me. And I tried bringing it up to him but he refuses to acknowledge it and scrambles to avoid the topic and I feel like he knows he's in love with her but doesn't want to admit it. I feel like I really am filler and he knows it, that his very atoms are waiting for her and it's just this unspoken inevitability. I'm only here for now and that's it and I'm not supposed to address it, I'm not supposed to see it, but I do and that really sets him on edge. Or- something does at least. I don't know! He won't talk to me!"

Immediately Kara pulled Y/n into a hug. Y/n let her, curling into her comforting warmth and knowing he could fully collapse and she would be fine. "Would it help if I helped you work through what other options there are? Discussions are hard to have if you have one out come stuck in your head, and then often turn into arguments that accomplish nothing."

Chuckling, Y/n wiped his face. "You're so smart Kara." And he meant it so genuinely she couldn't even joke that he was full of it. He seemed relieved to be able to talk about it, talk through it. She believed that truly was the case. "Please," he sighed. "Please tell me there are other options than what I think there are."

Kara hummed, tightening the hug for a split second before leaning away so they could meet eye to eye as they spoke. This was a conversation where he needed to know she was being absolutely truthful and genuine. "Well, first of all he could have the exact same fears as you. He could truly and deeply be in love with you and be scared that it'll all be for nothing. Fate and knowing your future - it';s a terrifying thought. Especially when no matter what you do, it never changes."

Y/n nodded. That was a perfectly logical option. "Anything else?"

She was ready for the question. "His life has been really difficult. He's constantly losing people, and being a superhero is extremely hard on a person. It's demanding and draining and leaves no room for even a single mistake. You're gambling with the life of every single person. Their happiness and stability. It's not a reason to treat anyone badly but I could understand if his work life and super hero life being so complicated and dangerous doesn't leave a deep desire for a normal, more straight forward life. Maybe he got it in his head that things with you were supposed to be easy and now... they're not. And he's too burnt out or anxious to address it."

Oh. Very quickly Y/n was calming down. Hearing all the other alternatives were very grounding and loosened the pit of doom in his stomach. "Anything else?"

Nodding, Kara continued. "He may not be taking your emotions seriously and either isn't realizing how your emotions are affecting you, or thinks they're some kind of accusation. He may even not understand that when you bring this up its concerning how you feel about it and not necessarily about him or anything he's doing at all. It's a pile up of things that all point your brain in one direction, and the way that makes you feel may be irrational or very rational, but either way he isn't the person who chooses Iris. And he may be one day, or he may not, but if he thinks you're accusing him of some sort of cheating when he couldn't imagine ever doing something to you?" She shrugged. "Like getting mad at someone for doing something in a dream. And it still means something to you but he isn't clocking that - all he can see is you blaming him for something he didn't do."

Y/n actually had the audacity to smile. "We would argue over me feeling insecure and it making him feel like I hate him. Or doubt him." He rolled his eyes but there was a little fondness there and Kara felt hope surge through her. Not all was lost yet. "We would end up arguing like we are over both of us just being insecure and not communicating it int he way we need to." He sighed, long and laboriously.

Kara just decided to skip to another option. "Or he's being an asshole and he does know it upsets you but he just doesn't want to acknowledge it or take it seriously."

They looked at each other for a second before slipping into soft, breathy laughter. It was weak and quiet but Kara wrote it down as a win. The idea that Barry would be so harsh and cruel truly was laughable. Maybe another Barry, another universe, but not this one.

After a second Y/n deflated again. Not as broken down but definitely exhausted. "What do I do if he won't talk to me? I can't just not know."

"Tell him that." When Y/n seemed doubtful, kara shook her head. "I'm serious. Say it even before you start the conversation. No warning, no chance to shoot you down or change the subject. Lay down the law. If you need this, you need this. It doesn't matter what he's feeling about the situation - you need to talk about this. This is a need for you; a deal breaker. If you break up you break up. He doesn't deserve you if he can't get over himself for an hour to talk to you and give you something you actively need."

Y/n melted in relief, eyes wet. "You're an amazing friend Kara."

The compliment, bursting with appreciation that could not be put into words, made Kara grin. "You deserve a good friend. Come on - we can take a few days before you have to go back."

So they did. A little less a month passed before Y/n went back. neither of them had meant for it to go on quite so long but Y/n's powers that were so often utilized by Barry were perfect for the threat Kara was facing and beating the bad guy was the last step. They had to go through so much before they could do that. It kept them. 

When he did go home, there was something different about him. He got to see more and experience more. He realized how much pressure he was putting on Barry and codependent he'd become. he seemed finally completely at peace with whatever happened - whether or not they broke up, he knew he'd make it through - but was also ready and willing to fight for it.

If only Barry would fight too.

In the end Kara had been right. Her very first guess had hit the nail on the head, and it had all come undone the second Y/n set a hard boundary. He needed this and Barry delivered. Their relationship was important enough to the speedster to put aside fear or pride and face it. They had a long talk about the whole situation and how out of control they both felt. How that scared Barry even more because he didn't want such a future. Because he wasn't allowed to be out of control like he was now or people died. Y/n clarified his feelings not being a reflection on Barry as a person and the kind of person or partner he was, and that seemed to help too. They decided at the end of it all that no matter what happened they loved each other and nothing could get in the way of that. That even if Iris and Barry did end up together, it wouldn't be the Barry that was now.

That Barry was Y/n's.

For the first time neither of them felt the need to check to see if Iris' surname had changed on the byline. It was Cisco instead who came crashing into the room, eyes wide with worry. He pulled up the article and pointed out the byline.

Iris West.

No Allen attached.

The article was the same, with a missing Barry, but the byline was different.

Barry and Y/n looked at each other, eyes opened for the first time. It was almost a slap in the face to realize that Iris and Barry ended up together in this world only if they thought they did. That the anxiety of the felt inevitable could destroy all of their relationships, and that the second they decided it didn't - it didn't.It was beautiful in a way. And suddenly they both felt that they could do so much more... 

And they did. Together.

-

Male Readers: @ravenpuff-oli @sortzz @fadedver

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Danny 'I don't do weird' Pink frustrates me as a character, because I'm honestly not sure whether he was supposed to have an arc or not.

His primary role is as a foil for Clara's arc and, in aid of that, as a mirror to the Doctor. A solider with survivor's guilt and a man of action who can't stand by when people need help etc., in some ways he and the Doctor have a lot in common, but he's also a very grounded and circumspect personality versus the Doctor's being fantastical and adventurous. Danny isn't curious and doesn't want to pursue new things or experiences, instead he wants to be fully present with and grateful for what he already has. The Doctor is incorrigibly curious and always interested in new things.

Danny is someone who desires nothing more than an ordinary life, and looks for beauty and satisfaction in the normal things and people around him. He wants his world to be small and quiet, he values the mundane things others might take for granted. He's normal, patient, dependable, simple, honest, etc. His reaction to trauma hasn't been to disavow the things which lead him to that event, or to seek out stimulation to avoid thinking about it, it's to be thoughtful and cautious and somewhat rigid so he can always apply the mindset and skills he retained from before he was traumatised.

He's very firm and unbending in his worldview and in his self-image. He doesn't seem to ever reassess people once he's decided what he thinks of them. He's not unreasonable or unwilling to compromise, he is in fact maybe too reasonable, but he is implastic. He's extremely even-tempered except for around his identity as a soldier, which he's prickly about, but still pretty quick to let it go as long as he's not being deliberately antagonised.

So anyway Danny represents this other path, and this opposite response to the horror of war and making a catastrophic mistake, but he never learns, he never grows and he and Clara are never much on the same wavelength about anything. He's supposed to be stability, the things she 'should' want, the 'person she's supposed to like', the safe choice, the presentable life which Clara feels like she has to have. He's orderly and ordinary and that's what she wants from him. She has to control her image, her future, and her options.

And their simple relationship, once it exists, functions well as the contrast to her complicated and tumultuous relationship with the Doctor while the companion power dynamic is being dismantled and rebuilt so they can be emotional equals. But like, the set up is confusingly executed.

Listen- they have zero chemistry, they have nothing to talk about and have to resort to talking about work, every conversation goes instantly off the rails, they rub each other the wrong way, there is never any reason for them to keep reconciling and trying again to connect. Like. You are not hitting it off! and keep offending each other bc you're not compatible! Quit!!

Clara is forcing it, that makes complete sense with what she's going through, she's trying to take control of her life and her emotions, trying to prove to herself she's not pining for the Doctor and at the mercy of his whims for her life to be full and complete. She doesn't want to need him or to be dependant on him. She doesn't want to be the heartbroken sadsack whom he abandoned at Christmas or who will take whatever scraps he'll throw her. She wants to control his position in her life and control how she feels about him. Hence her assigning him a specific day and confining their adventures on her own terms. She's trying to keep the Doctor compartmentalised. Having an Appropriate Human Relationship means she's successfully put the Doctor in his box (lol) and neutralised the chaotic power of her feelings for him. I mean, obviously not, but that's what she tells herself.

But what is Danny doing? Why does he keep pursuing this when it's so clearly not a good match?

Again in Listen, and much more so The Caretaker, Danny illustrates that he does not know who Clara is, he's wildly wrong about her and what she's like, and he's very high handed about it as well. He's convinced that the Doctor is taking advantage of her, that the Doctor is domineering in their relationship, that she is not a person who wants to be put into challenging or dangerous positions, that the Doctor is pushing her to takes risks and become a leader where that's not her nature. None of this is true. Clara was always a decisive, assertive, strongly driven person who seeks out new experiences and naturally assumes a leadership role any time that's necessary; she relishes being challenged and facing the unknown. Her blow up with the Doctor wasn't about him 'pushing her too far', it was about him failing to support her when she needed him and condescending to her as a human rather than treating her with the intimacy and equity their bond and history together demands. It's personal and it's about their emotional relationship. It's not about making hard choices, it's about having to make hard choices without her partner being honest with and emotionally available to her.

Clara was always an adventurous person, willing to be spontaneous as long as it's on her terms, and excited by the prospect of authority and responsibility. The danger and challenge isn't an unfortunate side effect or a risk she has to take to see amazing sights, it's part of the appeal. She lied to Danny by omission when she said she went off in the box to 'see wonders', not just because the real reason is that she's in love with Doctor, but also because she doesn't just want to be a tourist. She wants to get involved and save people, she wants things to sometimes go pear shaped. She enjoys and craves that part of it too.

Danny is also wildly wrong about the Doctor, but this is understandable and would be fine except that he's never corrected? He never learns better? What's the point?

In Death in Heaven Danny goes out still wrong about the Doctor, still condemning him cruelly and unfairly while knowing nothing about him. He had a point with some of his original rant, there was actual insight there, but it's buried in assumptions and bitterness and then Danny keeps tripling down on the assumption. The one which doesn't understand that the very thing he's shitting on the Doctor for (being willing to lead and make hard choices that must be made in order to save people) is something the Doctor has in common with Clara. And always has. The Doctor didn't change her or push her into that, that's who she's always been.

What is the point of Danny calling him a blood-soaked general and mocking him, calling him an officer as a pejorative again, and again because the Doctor is trying to save the planet. Like, memory check, that's what Danny is mad about. The Doctor doing everything in his power to save literal billions of lives. Doing it for no reason, out of altruism. Doing it while always trying very hard not to fight or kill anyone. Doing it even at enormous spiritual cost to himself.

I don't understand how we're meant to find Danny sympathetic in that moment, because he comes off like a complete dickhead. And it's all the more frustrating because in the intervening episodes Danny has been eminently reasonable. As I've discussed before, we're exhaustively shown that Danny is 100% okay with what Clara claims is going on, that he doesn't want to get in the way of her friendship with the Doctor, that if it really were only the relationship she's pretending it is, there would be no conflict. He's the one who encourages her to make up with him after Kill the Moon! He tells her to go on travelling and it's fine!

Even when he discovers she's been lying to him and cavorting with the Doctor behind his back (again despite him telling her it was fine with him!), he's calm about it and repeats for the millionth time that all he wants from her is honesty. The truth. Which is the one thing she can't give him because Clara knows their entire relationship is built on the lie, they're only together because of the lie. The truth is, as Moffatt said, that Danny never stood a chance. There is a conflict between the two relationships and she's always going to choose the Doctor.

And that does come out, she gives the whole speech to Danny, not knowing it's him, finally being honest. And he seems unsurprised by it, which makes sense because on some level he definitely always knew ('do you love him?' 'no' 'really had enough of the lies'), but then nothing comes of that. Clara just soldiers on, going right back to pretending this relationship wasn't a façade doomed from the start, and Danny allows her to pretend. He goes off on the Doctor, but not in a way the Doctor actually deserves at all, and just sweeps her confession under the carpet. Letting her get away with it again. True to form, I guess! he always did. But shouldn't we make progress?

And it's like... I hate that he dies on that note. It feels like he dies in denial. I guess you could argue it contributes to his decision to not come back, but that feels like a disservice to the character. Saving the kid is important to Danny, it allows him to atone for his greatest mistake, but he didn't need to change or grow to accomplish that and it doesn't provide any closure to his actual role in the narrative, which was as Clara's foil. Clara is off the hook, free to go on lying to herself about their relationship. It's not addressed in Last Christmas, either, it's only barely hinted at.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[sprog-writes]

Soulmates AU but it's like this:

Just like in the real world, the idea of soulmates is just a myth. A story. A part of culture's folklore, but generally regarded to be some kind of romantic thing that's not actually real.

But after Simon gets rescued from the desert, after he wakes up in that coffin, after that brush with death, he starts seeing red threads connect people by their fingers.

He can touch them, sometimes, if he focuses enough. He thinks he's going crazy for a while. Having some kind of hallucinations.

So he does some research, he learns about the strings, and at first it does nothing to reassure him he's not going crazy. But then he finds a forum, a gruochat, something like that, with people recounting their own experiences with it. All with the same common denominator: they died, for a bit. And they didn't stay dead.

He doesn't visit the forum again after that. He still thinks it's bullshit. His eyes don't linger when he sees how a really entangled red line connects Price and Nik. He doesn't stare when he notices two practically invisible circles wrapped around two recruits pinkies, holding each other's fingers while they talk and they laugh.

And he avoids looking at his own hands like the plague. He tells himself he doesn't care. He tells himself it's not important. Not even when the other end of that thread is closer than he'd ever imagined. Not even when the hand it's connected to hits his shoulder.

He does cave, after a while. He spends some time in that forum. It's the only thing he can do not to actually go insane when it feels like his hand is being constantly pulled towards his Sergeant and him with it. Those people... At least they understand. There's a woman who was resucitated after a heart attack. She was declared dead for 2 minutes. When she woke up she thought the strings were because of something wrong with her eyes. When she went online, she couldn't help but stare and agonize about how the father of her children wasn't connected to her. They loved each other, but the universe didn't deem that enough, it seemed. It ended up ruining her marriage.

Some of the people there hated the string, just like her. Predestination doesn't match with everyone.

There's those that are hopeless romantics, who see this as the best thing to happen to them. That pass their days trying to follow the line.

Some others saw their "soulmates" as just their perfect match, but still believed you needed to put in the work to have a relationship.

Ghost doesn't know where he stands.

The more time he spends with Johnny, though, the more he understands how perfect he is for him. He's certainly disappointing some of the people in the forum, proving the universe, Destiny, whoever is responsible for it, right. But he can't help it, when everything that comes out of his Sargeant's mouth makes his eyes crinkle, when every quip and jab is met with equal responses, when seeing those blue eyes light up when he enters a room makes him want to be Simon again.

Price notices. In all the years he came back, Ghost has never been as obviously bothered by the strings as much as he is now. Not since he first thought they were hallucinations.

So, when he finds himself in the Captain's office, he expects some kind of reprimand. A well meaning question about his health.

Instead, he's met with, "Congratulations."

He blinks. "Pardon me?"

"Soap's a good lad. He's got his flaws, but who doesn't?" Price goes to light the cigar he'd been holding when Ghost walked in.

"... I don't follow, sir." He says, even though he knows exactly what Price is implying. He wants the Captain to stop pussyfooting and say it.

Price takes a drag of his cigar and blows the smoke out in a way that doesn't directly hit Ghost, even though it doesn't bother him anymore. "I don't care if you're dating or just fucking or what have you, Simon." He looks him in the eyes when he says his name. It leaves Ghost feeling prickly and oddly vulnerable. "But... You seem happier, lately."

"Fraternization -" the weak excuse he had started to pull out by instinct was interrupted by Price's laugh.

"Son, I couldn't give a single fuck. Look what we're doing here! Look at the people involved. No one cares as long as we get the job done." He chuckles again. And Ghost wants to tell him. He wants to explain about the threads, he wants to ask about Nik, he wants to spill all he feels for his- for Soap. Wants to go to his room, pull him out, kiss him in front of everyone, and intertwine their pinkies just like those rookies were, so that their fingers are so close that the string is barely visible.

But he doesn't. Instead, "There's nothing going on, sir," he tells Price, like a coward.

[frazzledsoul]

Probably preaching to the choir here, but I find the constant revisionism regarding Christopher Hayden's sporadic attempts at fatherhood rather frustrating.

I often see his fans argue that Lorelai "kept Rory away from him and refused to let him participate" and that "she made it uncomfortable for him." But did she? She declined his marriage proposal because he was uninterested in Rory from the beginning. She left home and moved thirty minutes away, worked her way up to a middle-class life, and made it clear he was free to do whatever the fuck he wanted. We're told he calls Rory every week (I find this unconvincing, but whatever), he sees her on holidays, he knows how to find Rory and Lorelai when he finally visits them 14-15 years after they move there. It sure doesn't sound like Lorelai hid her away and didn't tell Christopher where they lived or refused to allow him to visit her. Not to mention that we are explicitly told in season 1 that she's "always held the door open to her, you just never wanted to use it" and he agrees.

The other thing she tells Rory in that S1 episode is that "he's going to come and go as he pleases, hon, you know that." Contrary to the belief that she kept Rory away from him, she actually is super accommodating any time he wants to show up and contribute and she never rebukes him for all the times he didn't feel like it. She doesn't appear to ever ask him for money or criticize him for being a bad dad and of course, she keeps sleeping with him any time he does anything half-decent. She's raised Rory to think that it's inevitable he's going to treat them like crap and only show up when it's convenient for him and that they can never be mad at him or hold it against him because she didn't marry him when he offered so long ago. The idea that he had a responsibility to Rory regardless of whether Lorelai was willing to be in a relationship with him is not a reality in their world. It doesn't help that both sets of grandparents seem to blame the entire situation on Lorelai and don't expect Christopher to contribute in any way.

And of course, Christopher doesn't really care about Rory. He's mostly eager to act like a dad when there are cracks in Lorelai's relationship with Luke and he senses an opportunity to get in her pants (he usually succeeds at this). Once that opportunity goes away, he disappears. He drops out of Rory's life once Gigi is born. He doesn't appear to be in contact with her after he and Lorelai divorce until it's time for her graduation. After Lorelai stops talking to him once she reconciles with Luke in the post-OS period, he stops talking to Rory, too. Even the offer to pay for the second half of Rory's college education only comes when he inherits a bunch of money he didn't earn and offers to buy *Lorelai* anything she wants until Rory reorients his offer towards something practical. Rory is a means to get to Lorelai and not much more. And of course, we know from AYITL that he sends Gigi away to her mother eventually as well, giving up on her too.

This is not to say that Lorelai always behaves perfectly. She avoids telling Rory about Christopher requesting to make holiday plans with her for a few days and she does a lot to poison Rory against Christopher/Sherry in S3 because SHE'S mad at him for rejecting her and Rory feels she has to take her side. Still, I don't feel this is equal to all of Christopher's neglect and at any rate Rory is a big girl now, a legal adult, and can develop a relationship with her dad beyond her mom if she wants. Christopher doesn't appear to be terribly interested.

(Oh, and the aforementioned S2/S3 behavior is why you shouldn't be best friends with your daughter, as it's inevitable that your hurt feelings will get in the way of what's best for her and her relationship, however frayed, with her other parent. That is another topic, though).

In the end, all this does have a profound effect on Rory. She's often submissive in her relationships (especially with Dean) and lets problems fester instead of dealing with them because that's what's been modeled for her. She also regularly cheats with old boyfriends because her parents taught her that you always have a claim on your first love and that overrides whatever commitment you're currently making. And of course, in the AYITL era she seems to have copied his life patterns a bit too much, as she's got no real incentive to change at this point.

Lorelai wasn't too hard on him. She was way too easy on him and put up with too much of his shit over the years, and that had its own reverberations. Both Lorelai and Rory should have been allowed to be angry at him for his neglect. It never happened.

[flameraven]

Some Thoughts on Aziraphale

In response to this discussion, which focuses on the pain Aziraphale must have felt, deliberately breaking Crowley's heart at the end, because he has no choice but to go back to Heaven.

I do think that there's not really an option for Aziraphale to stay on Earth. There's certainly an element of coercion to the Metatron's actions, and an implicit threat. And even if there wasn't-- Aziraphale IS right, they can't really be free with the system of Heaven and Hell looming over them. They will never really be left alone to exist together. Something has to be done.

But I can't buy the final fifteen as Aziraphale knowingly sacrificing their relationship for the sake of protecting Crowley and/or Earth. The order of events is wrong. He doesn't go in to Crowley in a clear-headed, sober way, saying "I don't want to, but I have to leave." No. I think, like we saw him do throughout S2, he's focusing on his own wants and needs to the exclusion of everything else.

He comes to Crowley with the Metatron's proposal and he is giddy. He's excited. Because he thinks he's found a loophole. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He thinks he can have Crowley AND Heaven.

When he walks back into the bookshop, he doesn't know about Armageddon 2.0 or the Second Coming. The Metatron just tells him they have a big project and they want him to lead it, and he buys in to that fantasy, like he's been focusing on fantasies for all of S2.

Aziraphale goes to Crowley and he's not proposing to keep or protect their same relationship. He says come to Heaven with me, you'll be my second in command. Second in command! Not as equal partners, like they've been for millennia. Aziraphale would be Crowley's boss. He wants to take them backwards, even. Make Crowley an angel again, ignoring how strongly Crowley rejects that idea. It'll be just like old times, only even nicer. Again, he's focused on the fantasy, the memory of what Heaven used to be, instead of the reality of what it is.

I think ultimately, Aziraphale is sacrificing Crowley and his bookshop here in order to protect his own feelings. Because focusing on this fantasy lets him avoid facing the hard truth of what Heaven is, and keep living in denial a little longer. It's not until he's at the elevator that he hears "Second Coming" and then has a very visible "oh shit" look on his face. And by that point he cannot back out. (And frankly, I read his smile in the elevator as mostly self-righteousness, a sort of "it will all work out, he'll see." Convincing himself that he hasn't just royally fucked up.)

I think it's true that Aziraphale doesn't have much of a choice here. But he doesn't approach Crowley as if he's being coerced or forced into a difficult situation. He's excited. I don't think he's thinking about the Earth at all. Or Crowley-- at least not beyond what he, Aziraphale wants, which is the two of them together... but on Aziraphale's terms.

And this is unfortunately part of the general pattern for Aziraphale in S2. He is petulant and annoyed when Crowley tells him no and refuses to help Gabriel. He doesn't ask why Crowley changes his mind later, or consider why Crowley might have been so against helping Gabriel, he just demands the elaborate apology dance as his due and delights in being Right. He overrides Crowley's objections to taking the Bentley to Edinburgh, and ignores his warnings about danger at the Ball. The whole season he is focused on his own fantasies and desires and completely fails to entertain Crowley's feelings or perspective at all.

So yes, I do feel bad for Aziraphale at the end of S2, I'm sure he's also hurt by the separation with Crowley. But this is the choice that he made! And now he has to live with the consequences.

[spontaneousful]

Losercule Hcs!

headcanons headcanons and ideas for daring + sparrow + chase + hopper ship inspired by @ara270904 (but I added hopper, bc how can they be complete without their missing loser)

They are all such big losers, but they are drastically different types of losers and none of them think they are losers. I want to study them under a microscope.

as far as their actual relationship goes, idk bro. are they dating, are they in a qpr, closed or open relationship, are they even aware that they're into each other? all of these are equally good, so like, it just depends what i'm in the mood for honestly

When Sparrow and Chase hang out quietly, Daring and Hopper are not invited

Sparrow will hyperfocus and be very quiet when he is working on his music, writing, and planning, and doing all of the behind the scene stuff for the Merry Men. Chase will sit near him and work on thronework, text other friends, just chill, whatever.

Daring and Hopper cannot sit still. Sparrow cannot focus when they're around, because he'll see them moving in the corner of his eye, or they'll be too loud and it distracts him, because he has to know what's happening. So, they get kicked out when Sparrow is working.

Sparrow, Daring, and Hopper are all bi. Chase is panromantic asexual. The bi guys argue about who is/was/could be (based on their current relationship to each other) getting the most guys and gals and Chase just watches in amusement.

Every so often Chase will throw out the most off-the-wall bonkers take to keep them fighting about it.

Sparrow and Daring fight/compete with each other all of the time, but Hopper and Chase are in on it. They're either betting which one will win or actively participating. Chase will be the first one to realize when they've gone to far and Daring is usually the first to agree with him. Then they have to work together to defuse the Sparrow/Hopper bomb because they will keep going until the world implodes.

Daring and Chase just have more respect for rules and authority than the other two do.

Also, every time, Daring is like, 'it doesn't even matter that I have to drop out of the competition because it has gotten too extreme and it is my princely duty to maintain order. if I had continued, I would have won, because I am the best, and that's what counts.' And it pisses the other three off every time.

Sparrow and Hopper convince Daring and Chase to let them dye their hair red (somehow for some reason) and it is the most horrendous thing anyone in Ever After has ever seen. Even the natural Charming charm can't quite save Daring in this situation.

Daring and Hopper are obsessed with finding new and obscure board games to play, and all of the guys in eah know to go to their dorm room for a wacky fun time.

However, as the relationship starts to develop, the losercule ends up spending most of their time in Daring and Hopper's room. Because of this, the rest of the guys grow weary of going in there, as they do not want to be caught up in the sexual/romantic tension alone.

Soon enough, no one is showing up for game night, anymore (not even Dexter will come at Daring's request)

Daring gives Dexter the saddest puppy dog eyes known to man and he almost concedes. Instead, Dexter tells him to start setting up game nights in the one of the commonrooms instead of their dorm.

Game Night is back and better than ever

Hopper didn't like Chase at first because he saw his red color pallette and was like, 'no way is this man taking MY spot as the color red' but then Chase and Daring became friends and so he was basically Hopper's friend by association. and so he begrudingly started hanging out with him and realized he was pretty cool.

Sparrow and Hopper are workout buddies, but they actively avoid hanging out with Daring and Chase, who are inhuman when it comes to physical activity. Daring "Don't worry, with enough practice, you'll get here one day" Charming and Chase "This isn't normal?" Reford whilst doing things incomprehensible to the human mind are not invited to the workout party.

Chase and Daring go to Hocus Latte every week to try the concoction of the week. Sometimes they go together, but its usually a race to see who can get there first and then gloat about it and spoil the surprise of whatever is in the new drink. loser pays, obviously.

They all show their love physically, hugging, kissing, cuddling, fist bumps, tackling, etc

Daring is a gift giver, Chase is all about words of affirmation, Hopper likes spending quality time, and Sparrow loves with acts of service

no matter what their relationship is, everyone else knew something was there before they did. they were completely oblivious to their own feelings + each other's feelings. What if one day, one of them just woke up (in the middle of a cuddle pile) and said "I think I love you guys." and they all just went, "same."

[thengrace]

24 things I learned at 24.

Thank God, continuously thanking God is so important, it moves us from the earthly perspective into a heavenly perspective, it shifts our entire minds to be reminded of how powerful God is, how far He has brought us, what He is going to do.

Trust your gut, what it's telling you, and no matter how much you try to ignore it, the reality is that it's usually right.

It's okay for friendships to end, it's okay that things didn't work out, sometimes seasons change and with that, comes the end of certain relationships.

You shouldn't strive in a relationship, and this goes for friendships or romantic relationships; it shouldn't feel like a chore to make plans or talk, it should feel natural, and easy, that doesn't mean there won't be conflict, but it should feel like both people are equally invested. And if not, it's one-sided.

Always wait for what you deserve, whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship, we shouldn't compromise because we are lonely or bored, that's not going to fulfill you.

Sometimes God has us wait to teach us patient and to depend on Him, instead of asking Him to hurry up, ask yourself, what can I do in this waiting period to prepare myself for what He has for me?

It's okay to feel all your emotions, the good, the hard, it's important to let yourself go through the cycle of emotions, learning to sit with your feelings is healthy, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

If something still bothers you after many days, that's a sign you should speak up and tell the person that hurt you how you feel, you'll feel so much better afterwards.

Conflict is necessary, and healthy, and no matter how much you hate it, you cannot avoid it. Conflict will help you grow in many ways.

Sitting in the silence with God is so important, the enemy wants nothing more than for you to be distracted, but God is calling us to deep contemplation of His Word and to sit at His feet and listen to what He has to say.

Tell others how you feel, what you're struggling with, don't let your story be, "I was alone and didn't have anybody," but instead, "I told that one person I trusted and there was healing."

Everyone makes choices and you can't save everybody, once you realize that, it'll change the way you show up in relationships. We have to let God work too.

Jesus is Savior, not me. I'm not responsible for someone's choices or sinfulness, I can pray for them, but at the end of the day, God simply wants me to be a vessel of His mercy, He alone has the power to save.

True friendship will survive long-distances, changing seasons, and once you find that, hold onto it dearly.

We're never alone, even when we feel at our lowest, cry out to God, tell Him exactly how you feel, no matter how scary or dark it may be, God is listening to us, and wants to be our Comforter.

Worship changes things, when we simply get to that secret place and worship the Lord, there's a change in our hearts and in the heavenly places.

It's okay to live a simple life, to not make the most money or be the most "successful" person in your family, as long as we are doing the work of the Lord, that's successful in the eyes of the Lord.

Pray unceasingly, when you wake up, when you're driving somewhere, God is a Friend, and He is always available and can be found in the everyday moments like driving to work or going to the gym.

It's okay if your prayers sound like, "God, I don't know what to do." God can take it, no matter how "ugly" it may be.

God is a Provider and a God of completeness, and if He brings you through one part of a trial, why wouldn't He stand with you until it's completed?

There are so many prayers that won't be answered for years, but God is still working, no matter how long it takes, be faithful in prayer, God will bless your faithfulness.

Remember the old things you loved to do, and continue to do them. Don't forget what makes you joyful, like an old skill or hobby that you used to find comfort in, those things will still bring joy even years later.

Don't spend too much time on things that might bring out the worst in you, like social media, it's wisdom to know what is your weakness, and to abstain from it.

Above all, trust God. Trust that He has good intentions for you and that He is going to get you through whatever infirmities, internal struggles, and relational issues you are dealing with. We have a good God.

[purplebass]

Thought about Lila's trauma and drinking as her copying mechanism to deal with her emotions (in relation to her relationship with Kell but also with Alucard) so I wrote a post because I had so much to say :)

Special mention to @bluecichlid because your comment under my Lila meets her father again fanfic inspired part of this post so thank you lol

tw: alcohol mention, tw: trauma mention, tw: anxiety mention

We know from bits here and there that Lila's father was an alcoholic and she often ran away from home and he didn't even notice. This forced Lila grow up fast and her needs were never met. Lila using her father's copying mechanism to avoid dealing with things (mostly emotionally related) is not surprising. No one taught her what in psychology is defined as "emotional literacy", which is the skill to understand/deal with emotions related to oneself and the outside world. She learned that by herself by trial and error and observation, but of course this human skill is also sharpened by interactions a person has with their caregiver(s) and with their peers, which help us regulate our emotions and act according to what society expects us to do. From the look of it, Lila doesn't seem to have had any meaningful relationships after she left her father for good. Barron was a fatherly figure to her but she never truly let him in. Then she met Kell, and her life began to change because he was the first person with whom she was able to make a deeper connection. Then came Alucard, with whom she equally shares a deep connection which is different from the one she has with Kell, and many many more. I only mention them because they are important for the discourse I'm making in this post.

Lila likes to drink as a way not to process her emotions and numb them, because she is avoidant and dismissive just like her caregiver used to be. Drinking is her response to trauma. It's Lila's favorite copying mechanism along with fighting (both physical and magical) to blow off steam. It's the quickest way to kick her emotions to the curb because they are too much and she isn't sure she can control them. She doesn't want to be crushed by them, which scares her (hence avoidant but she also wants to feel). But canon hints that Lila prefers to drink alone rather than with someone. She doesn't feel safe drinking with others because she doesn't want to lose control, so she tries not to exaggerate.

Lila's drinking in relation to Kell: trying not to think about him hurting in tftop + Kell rewiring Lila's past trauma into a good one

Her drinking is often emphasized after she goes or someone is going through something. For example in tftop, she goes with the crew to drink after the fight on the vessel where Kell gets hurt by his magic and she knows he needs to be alone. She tries to divert her feelings (being worried about Kell and wanting to comfort him but being unable to do so) by celebrating the mission the crew accomplished, but she ends up thinking about him anyway while she drinks by herself.

I mentioned this moment specifically because this is one of the moments in the series where Lila has a positive outcome linked to her drinking, and it rewires her past traumatic experience. When she returns to the ship after drinking, Kell is waiting for her. He pretends to be sleeping because he doesn't want to appear anxious when she's out at night, since she prides of her independence and knows how to take care of herself. But Lila knows that he is waiting and she has an ambivalent reaction to it. She is glad but she also thinks he doesn't need to do that because she doesn't need to be looked after. So Kell tries to meet her in between by pretending to sleep, knowing that he needs to trust her or his anxiety will eat him. Kell fears abandonment as much as Lila does, and by doing what her father never did, he gives her the safety she needs and whom she doesn't dare to ask for from him. She equally gives him the safety he needs when she returns safely into his arms at night.

The same happens in acol while they are on the Ghost. Lila drinks while she plays and loses her boots to Jasta, and Kell gives her his so she can have her boots back. They have a moment before the ship is attacked and Kell asks how much did she drink. Liquid courage makes her honest and she confesses she rarely drinks in company because she doesn't want to be caught unawares.

Drinking and having fun is a way to deal with everything happening (risking to die because of Osaron, Lila finally accepting her feelings for Kell/his feelings for her, dealing with her new identity as an antari). But she instantly sobers up once she realizes that they are all in danger and we see how quickly the adrenaline makes her react to the new situation.

Kell tries to help Lila relax after a bad drinking experience

Another moment I want to point out in relation to Lila, Kell and drinking is when Hastra gives Lila the tonic to make her sleep. Kell gets mad at Hastra for spiking her drink because he knows how much she would hate that because it was done against her consent. When they are in Verose in tftop, in fact, Lila doesn't seem to want to drink at first, but Kell encourages her by saying: "not everything is a trap," and she decides to trust him and tries to relax. It tugs at her heartstrings that he sees her and is learning and trying to silently support her when she doesn't even know she needs support. This is love.

Lila's drinking in relation to Alucard: he wants to get information out of her + he's also a sort of confidante to her

There are other moments where she drinks while she is with Alucard in agos and he's trying to find things about her while teaching her magic. However, when she drinks with him and the crew she is guarded, and she never drinks enough to lose control and never does things she would regret. Her drinking is calculated.

Lila also drinks with Alucard in tftop. Alucard jokes and says "I'm far more fun than Kell," when he asks Lila why she's there to drink. She agrees, but her mask slips because it's easier to show Alucard (who I consider Lila's bff) how she really feels. Lila doesn't openly say that she's worried about Kell but Alucard understands because he is good at observing people just like Lila. She also lets him in her plans to catch the Hand. Alucard was the only one who knew about Kosika, about the Hand meeting and more - things Lila didn't tell Kell. That's not casual. Lila confides in Alucard because he is a friend and because it's easier to talk to him than to confide in Kell, with whom she's romantically involved and was in a difficult moment at that point of the story. She precisely avoids to talk to him about this because she loves him too much and she doesn't want to burden him. She knows he would worry too much if she did, and she doesn't want to add that burden to the emotional baggage he's been carrying for years. It's Lila's way to protect Kell from potential harm.

I wanted to say more things but I said enough lmao. Thank you if you read so far and if you have thoughts, feel free to interact <3

[dialovers-lover-xoxo]

Ayato's Relationship Alphabet

Nothing nsfw, just under a cut because it's long (Brief mention of breasts)

Alphabet Credit: @snk-warriors

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A - Activities (What activities do you do as a couple with him?)

Not exactly with him, but he's always bugging you to make him takoyaki and he always wants you at his basketball game, cheering him on. Activities you do with him include swimming in the pool or lake and splashing each other or stargazing on a blanket

B - Beauty (What physical attribute do they admire about you?)

Your boobs. He stares at them in public, in private, he just constantly stares. He also likes your eyes and hair.

C - Comfort (How would they comfort you when you're upset or having a panic attack?)

At first he had no idea what was going on and yelled at you to stop, both out of annoyance and because he genuinely thought it would help. As time goes on and he learns what triggers you, he'll make a mental note of them and will help you avoid them. He'll also hug you and stroke your hair to calm you down.

D - Dreams (Do they picture a future with you? If so, what does that future look like?)

He wants to own you completely and what more concrete proof of ownership is there besides marriage? Maybe in the beginning of the relationship he won't think that far ahead, but eventually marriage and possibly even kids

E - Equal (Are they dominating/dominant in the relationship or passive?)

In his own way, Ayato respects and admires you, but especially at the beginning of your relationship he didn't quite see you as his equal. I will say that out of all the diaboys once he falls in love with Yui he does see her as an equal more than the other diaboys so that will happen, it just might take time. He is still dominant. He likes when you take charge a teeny bit but if you defy his orders or do something after he told you not to, he will get pissed.

F - Fight (Do they forgive easily? How do they fight?)

He's pretty hot-headed but I also think that he calms down pretty quickly. He's very clingy and always wants to be around you so even if you two had a fight he won't hold a grudge for long and he'll still want to hold you or suck your blood. He may stay angry for a while, but no silent treatment, and he's surprisingly willing to work things out. His way of fighting is just yelling, never insults.

G - Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? How do they show their gratitude?)

He doesn't always voice out, he might not even realize it himself, but he is grateful to have you in his life and for what you do for him. He'll get you flowers or a gift you've been wanting. He one time attempted to make takoyaki to show his gratitude but after nearly burning the mansion down, he decided flowers were safer.

H - Honesty (Do they share everything with you? If they do keep something from you, why?)

He's very honest. He doesn't like keeping anything from you. Let's say a girl flirted with him. He will tell you. Even though he stayed loyal because he loves you, he'll feel like he's hiding something from you. But he's not very open with his past or trauma. He'll share it eventually but it won't be easy for him.

I - Inspiration (Did they get inspired to change by you? How so?)

In the Young Blood manga, Ayato is actually extremely selfless. It's only when he became older that he became arrogant and selfish. Your kindness and patience brings back his innate selfless and helpful nature.

J - Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they act when they're jealous?)

Ayato is raging jealous and extremely possessive. If someone dares to approach you he very well might beat the crap out of them. If he catches someone staring he will pin you to the wall and kiss you until you can't breathe.

K - Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What are their kisses like? What was the first kiss like?)

He's a very good kisser. Passionate rom-com kisses, I'm talking grabbing each other, tongue, head tilts, the whole nine yards. The first kiss he just decided to kiss you. It was a nice kiss but passionate, holding your waist and head tilting to allow a better angle.

L - Love Confession (What was their love confession like?)

He didn't say "I love you" during the confession but he did tell you how much you meant to him and how happy he is with you and how beautiful and amazing you are. He didn't have to use the exact words to get his message across.

M - Marriage (Do they want to get married? How would they propose?)

Heck to the yes he wants to marry you. What greater proof of ownership is there? But he also wants you as his wife not just for ownership but because he loves you and wants you to always be his. He'll get on one knee and pick out a beautiful silver ring with a gorgeous ruby. His color, so everyone knows you're his. His wedding ring has a gem that's your favorite color.

N - Nicknames (What do they call you as a term of endearment? Where did the nickname come from?)

All based on your boobs. If you have small boobs, Pancake or Breastless. Big boobs, you're called Melons. If you're in the middle he might just call you Boobs.

O - On cloud 9 (What are they like in love? Can other people tell?)

To someone who does not know him well, they see an overly possessive guy who's way too obsessed. But you and even his brothers know different. If one really paid attention, they'd notice the way his eyes light up when he sees you and how his arms automatically open for you.

P - PDA (Are they shy or upfront about their relationship with you? Will they kiss in public?)

Not shy at all. He will full on make out with you in front of a crowd. He wants everyone to know you're his and he loves flaunting that you belong to him. And not just kissing, just general touching, like his arm circled around your waist.

Q - Quirk (Something random about them that's beneficial in a relationship)

It took a while but once he accepted that he loved you, he never forced himself into denial about it

R - Romance (How romantic are they?What is their idea of romance like?)

His idea of romance is touching you and showing you affection. He's not really a candlelit dinner kind of guy. But for your sake, he will do that.

S - Support (Do they help you reach your goals? Do they believe in you?)

He is supportive as hell. He believes you're the greatest person (besides him) and that you're capable of anything. He has undying faith in you. But that's for things he's okay with. If he isn't okay with something you want to do, he will argue with you and outright forbid it.

T - Thrill (Do they like trying new things in a relationship? Or do they prefer routine?)

I wouldn't exactly say "thrill" but he does like adventure and fun things like going to an amusements park and riding roller coasters or splashing each other in the pool. But he doesn't always like trying new things. If he doesn't think he'll like it, he'll refuse. If he knows he likes it or thinks he'll like it, he wants you by his side while he does it.

U - Understanding (How well do they understand you)

Very well. You spend so much time together and he's always vigilant to protect you and keep you happy so he can tell when you're upset and he knows your sense of humor, your likes and dislikes, everything.

V - Value (How important is your relationship to them?)

Everything. He loves you more than takoyaki or basketball or being praised. He'd give up anything to keep you as his. Devestated wouldn't even begin to cover the anguish he would feel if you got hurt or left him or died.

W - Wild card (A random fluff headcanon)

He loves cuddles and while he prefers being the big spoon, he still likes the security and comfort of being with you

X - XOXO (Are they affectionate? Do they like to kiss and cuddle)

Yes 100% he loves kissing and cuddling you and holding hands and having his arm around your waist. Part of it is possessiveness and a desire to touch you, but also it's his way of, consciously or unconsciously, keeping you by his side

Y - Yearning (How will they cope when they miss you?)

He doesn't. He tears the world apart. He won't let you out of his sight.

Z - Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for your relationship?)

There is nothing he won't do for you. Ayato will kill and torture and burn the world down for you. He'd multilate himself and die a thousand deaths for you.

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Thank you for reading my loves! ❤️

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

Shu

Reiji

Kanato

[orbital-inclination]

what is the relationship like between rem + molt and the other au travelers? who is in their group traveling with them? how do those like ink, error, and core feel about them?

Dust, Killer, Horror, Cross and Blue all eventually join Molt and Rem. By that point, they have a base of operations and divide into smaller groups (2-3) while traveling to avoid drawing attention to themselves.

Ugh, those two? Anomalous pests. Error views Rem and Molt in the same way as he views everything else. As glitches to be terminated. Bugs in the code he needs to hammer out before it all goes to hell. He doesn't ACTIVELY seek them out, but when they cross paths he won't hesitate to try to destroy them along WITH the AU he wants to get rid of. The apple troop avoids him at all costs. Ink places equal value on all creation, and for that reason, he is forced into a position where he feels obligated to respect all "characters" he comes across, even "characters" like Error. Can art destroy itself? Should art destroy itself, if that is the intention of the creator? What do you do when one Artist's art can only be appreciated through the destruction of another Artist's work? Ink doesn't think of it in exactly those terms, bc I don't like being that BLUNT with meta stuff, but that is the gist of his internal conflict. Molt and Rem passively interfere and that is a PROBLEM for Ink, who believes the "narrative" should be left to play out organically without outside interference. But I don't think their relationship is always purely antagonistic. Sometimes Ink will chase Rem and Molt off. Sometimes he won't. Sometimes he's lonely enough to sit down and just... talk to Molt. (i would go on about this more but this post is already too long KJSDFLSD)

I'm not familiar with Core!Frisk enough to say this with confidence, but if their goals are the same in this multiverse, they probably don't like Rem too much.

As for other au travelers in general? Depends on the traveler. Rem regularly commits petty crimes. He trespasses, he steals stuff. He’s not above blackmail. His gang is guilty of breaking and entering. I don’t imagine that kind of reputation will fly with a lot of people.

[the-great-lightwood-bane]

make this place beautiful

Malec | Rated general | tw canon-typical warnings | Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting 

Summary: In which Magnus and Alec a) first meet at Alec's first Downworld Cabinet meeting, months before Clary comes into the picture; b) fall in love while believing that the other one only wants a friend; and c) fight Valentine, and perhaps a few others.

A/N: This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver.

This is not a complete fic; I started it for the big bang, and then IRL showed up and I wasn't able to write everything I wanted to. Here, I've collected a couple early scenes, plus the climax scene, so it doesn't end on a total cliffhanger (although there are still loose ends to tie up). There's a summary paragraph in square brackets between those two parts to avoid confusion. If I ever get around to writing the rest of this, I'll post it here!

Art for this fic (above) created by cloudbunbuzz!

Read it on AO3 or below the cut.

Magnus stares up at the huge, imposing front doors of the Institute. He’s never stepped inside of them before — oh, he’s entered the Institute through the side door leading to the area of the Institute where Downworlders are allowed to petition the Head for assistance, but this is, obviously, different. At least on the surface. He’s not so sure about how much has changed, deep down. 

He thinks of the fire message he received a few weeks earlier — the formal but not particularly discriminatory invitation to attend a Downworld Cabinet. Organized by the new Head of the Institute, Alexander Lightwood, the eldest child of Maryse and Robert. To share information and collaborate to ensure the collective peace of our peoples. Not races, but peoples. Whatever else Lightwood is, he’s careful in his wording. 

The problem is that Magnus doesn’t know exactly what else he is. As the son of a Circle member, he’d expected cool disdain if not outright vitriol. Instead, Shadowhunter-Downworlder confrontations have been steadily decreasing since the newest Lightwood took control, and now there’s this. An invitation to a Downworld Cabinet. 

It is, honestly, preposterous. A Shadowhunter, and a Lightwood at that, trying to initiate peace? Cooperation? Between the Downworld and the Shadowhunters, as though they’re equals? Magnus knows better than to trust any such promises, however sweet they may seem. 

But the invitation had been sent out. Magnus saw no signs of deception, although he looked carefully. This is almost certainly some sort of ploy to gain the trust of the Downworld; if it isn’t, Lightwood is simply absurdly naïve and the Cabinet will be doomed before it even starts. But Magnus needs to know which of the two it is — does he need to be careful of treachery from Lightwood, or simply avoid whatever bumbling errors he makes in his misguided attempts to build a relationship between the Shadowhunters and the Downworlders? 

Magnus turns when Meliorn calls his name — he must be here to represent the Seelie Queen. There’s no way she could ever let the other leaders get together without a way to know what goes on; whether this is fake or real, she’ll want to know. Magnus greets him with an inclination of the head. They stop at the doors and wait for the others; Magnus knows none of them are particularly eager to wander the halls of the Institute alone. 

Raphael is the next to arrive. Magnus knew he was coming; they’ve been discussing the question in detail since the invitations arrived. Is it a trap? Is it some sort of bribery to get them to cooperate? Is Lightwood genuinely naïve enough to think this could work? The chances that Lightwood will cause them harm are slim — the Downworld would likely fall into revolt, which would bring the Clave’s disfavour down on the Institute — and so Raphael, like Magnus, has come to find out what in Edom Lightwood is thinking. 

Luke arrives last. His ascension to Alpha is because of this meeting: Theo refused to even consider it, and Luke, hoping it was true, challenged him on the spot. (Magnus healed the injuries he sustained in winning the fight.) It makes sense that he’s more willing to trust Shadowhunters than the rest of them — he has, after all, once been one of them — and Magnus hopes he won’t be too let down when Lightwood reveals his true colours. 

Only once all four are assembled does Magnus step forward and knock on the door. He’s sure the Shadowhunters know they’re out here, but a blond man opens the door without comment and escorts them inside with a polite inclination of the head. Surprisingly polite, but of course Lightwood would send a neutral figure to greet them at the door. If he didn’t, it would destroy the entire point of this charade. 

The Shadowhunter introduces himself as Andrew Underhill, and leads them directly into what appears to be some sort of command centre — the space is milling with Shadowhunters, clustered around tables holding holographic maps or computer banks full of camera feeds. Several glance up when the Downworlders enter, but Magnus is taken aback by the strange lack of glares. Lightwood must have a lot of authority here, if he can compel his people to be so polite. 

Another Shadowhunter comes up — tall, dark-haired, extremely attractive, authority lying across his shoulders like a cloak. There’s a deflect rune on the side of his neck, a placement which Magnus recognises as a Lightwood trademark, but even without it, Magnus thinks he would recognise him as the Head. Something in the clear deference that Underhill shows, the posture that suggests leadership. Magnus recalls the carefully polite wording of the message, and thinks that this is certainly the type of person to act carefully and logically, to plan. 

That means he’s probably not very naïve, which means that he has ulterior motives behind the creation of this Cabinet. Magnus cannot afford to think about how attractive he may be. 

“Thank you for coming,” Lightwood says, with an inclination of the head that’s actually not so small as to be offensive — in fact, the gesture suggests that the Downworlders are of equal rank to Lightwood, rather than being dirt beneath his shoes. 

“Did we have a choice?” Raphael asks, voice cold and dismissive. Internally, Magnus winces; whatever Lightwood’s intentions, offending him cannot be a good idea. 

Magnus might be reading too much into it, but he thinks Lightwood’s slow blink might hide surprise. His voice, however, shows no trace of emotion. “It was not my intention to make it appear as though you did not. I assure you that there would have been no repercussions had you chosen not to come, and there will be no repercussions should you choose to leave at any point today, although I hope you do not.” 

It’s easy to say that, Magnus thinks, and Lightwood isn’t a faerie. Lies probably rise more easily to his lips than truth. Still, Magnus doesn’t leave. 

Lightwood leads them out of Ops and into some sort of conference room — the table, Magnus notes, is round, likely to preserve the pretence of equality. None of the seats have their backs directly to the door; Magnus knows that positioning a chair that way would either leave a Downworlder wildly uncomfortable, or if Alec took the seat, give the impression that he was blocking the exit. 

Instead, two seats are about equidistant from the exit. Magnus takes one and Meliorn the other; Raphael sits on Magnus’s other side, and Luke beside Meliorn. That leaves Alec with the seat farthest from the door — a seat he takes willingly, even though it leaves him essentially trapped in a room with four Downworlders. None of them can make a move without bringing the Clave down on their heads, of course, but it’s still interesting. 

“I would like to begin by reiterating my apology that any of you understood there to be repercussions for not attending this meeting,” Lightwood says. “Your presence here today and in future is entirely voluntary, although much appreciated.”

Magnus inclines his head a glacial fraction in acknowledgement; Raphael echoes him, but Luke nods quite happily, while Meliorn’s posture is unchanging. Lightwood doesn’t seem daunted by their reluctance; Magnus still doesn’t know what to make of him. 

“I’ve asked you to come here for a few reasons,” Lightwood goes on. Magnus is certain he’s rehearsed this speech before, but it still sounds fairly natural; the tone is a hair less formal than Lightwood’s apology, but still professional. “First, I want to make amends for my parents’ treatment of the Downworld during their time as Heads of the Institute. Secondly, I think that both Shadowhunters and Downworlders could benefit from closer cooperation between our two groups. Thirdly, I would like to have your input on the measures I’m planning to take to reduce discrimination against Downworlders both in New York and elsewhere.” He pauses, glancing around at the four people sitting around him. 

Magnus no longer knows what to make of him at all. There’s a straightforwardness about him that makes Magnus doubt that he’d do anything too treacherous, and Magnus has learned to respect his gut instinct — but what Shadowhunter could possibly, seriously, want to do any of the things which Lightwood has listed off? It’s preposterous. To make amends? To both benefit from closer cooperation? To reduce discrimination with Downworlder input?  

It is, frankly, utterly impossible, especially for the son of two Circle members. It is impossible. Lightwood cannot possibly mean what he says. 

And yet, Magnus wants to believe him with a surprising intensity. 

He doesn’t know, so he leans back in his chair and listens to what Lightwood has to say. 

“I have recently been made aware of my parents’ role in the genocide of Downworlders during the Uprising,” Lightwood says, and Magnus only barely manages to prevent himself from reacting. There are layers to that statement, but foremost among them is the word genocide. Even when the Clave went so far as to declare themselves opposed to the Circle, they never said exactly what the Circle was doing — never outright declared that the Circle was exterminating Downworlders like so many insects. No, there was always a veneer of formality behind which the Clave hid, euphemisms and half-truths preventing the Clave from having to outright disavow their best and brightest, however misguided. 

And now, Lightwood cuts through all that with perfect ease, although there’s a glint in his eye that shows his awareness of what he’s doing. The Circle committed genocide against the Downworld. It’s there, a bald statement, a declaration. 

Lightwood proceeds as though he doesn’t notice the surprise that’s swept through his listeners — even Meliorn’s careful facade has cracked a fraction. “Since then, they have continually acted unjustly towards the Downworld. I understand that monetary repayments are insufficient to make up for everything they have done, but you are nevertheless owed recompense under the Accords. The Clave may avoid offering it on the basis of technicalities, but I offer it in their stead.” 

This Shadowhunter. To offer recompense at all would be surprising, but Lightwood is offering it without even assuming that’ll make everything better — and he’s implying that the Clave is wrong not to have done so. He’s calling the Clave out on their bullshit declarations that they are entirely unaffiliated with the Circle and thus bear no responsibility for Downworlder deaths at Valentine’s hands. It’s more than Magnus would have expected of any Shadowhunter, let alone the son of two (barely-)ex-Circle members. 

The sum Lightwood proceeds to name is. Well. He’s not rounding down the Downworlder death toll, to say the least, and Magnus is not alone in staring at him in utterly stupefied silence. 

Lightwood waits for a moment, and then, when nobody speaks up, moves on to the next topic. “More practically, I feel that significant benefits could be achieved through a closer relationship between Downworlders and Shadowhunters. I’m not suggesting that Shadowhunters get involved in Downworlder business, but if we could — at a bare minimum — share information on demon movements, I think it could help all of us.” 

“Downworlders aren’t going to do your dirty work for you, Lightwood,” Raphael drawls. “Isn’t killing demons what Shadowhunters are for?”

“It is,” Lightwood agrees calmly, despite the aggression in Raphael’s tone. “And I’m not going to ask any of you to start fighting demons — the chances of that going badly are too high. But our demon sensors don’t work in the vicinity of large groups of Downworlders — or rather, they work too well, and go off continuously. If a demon shows up near the Hotel Dumort or the Jade Wolf, we’ve got no way of knowing about it except if you see it and tell us about it.” 

“And why,” Raphael asks, his voice dropping to a hiss, “has the Clave not informed us of this danger?”

“Because the Clave does not count Downworlders among those we have the duty to protect.” Lightwood pauses. “I, however, do. Raziel created us to protect the world from demons, not merely those members of the world without the Sight. Mundanes, Shadowhunters, ex-Shadowhunters, and Downworlders all fall within our mandate.”

Another simple, concise refutation of all that the Clave pretends not to believe. Raphael does not have a retort. 

“Our technicians are currently working on building sensors that can differentiate between demons and Downworlders,” Lightwood adds, “but we have been unsuccessful so far.” 

“I might be able to offer some assistance,” Magnus says — a test, as well as a genuine offer. Few Shadowhunters would be willing to work with Downworlders when not absolutely necessary. “Runic and warlock magic, working together, becomes capable of a good deal more than either could do alone.” The portal being a prime example — not that any Shadowhunters have acknowledged as much since Henry Branwell’s time. 

“That would be great,” Lightwood replies immediately. “We can discuss fees later on. In the short term, though, please do call us if you see a demon, especially if it’s somewhere near the DuMort or the Jade Wolf.” He pushes a business card with a phone number on it across the table to each of them. Magnus examines his — simple, white with black lettering. 

Alexander Lightwood

Head of the New York Institute

XXX-XXX-XXXX

Lightwood’s own number, then, not just the Institute’s number. Magnus puts the card in a pocket. 

“We’ll consider it, Shadowhunter,” Raphael says, leaning back in his chair. 

Luke nods more cordially, if only marginally so. He was once a Shadowhunter himself; despite all he’s suffered at their hands, he’s still more willing to trust them than the average Downworlder. 

“The last point I wanted to address, before I open the meeting up to any of your concerns,” Lightwood begins, “is about the legal battle underway in Alicante for Downworlder rights.”

“Legal battle?” It’s Magnus who asks the question, but he can see from the other Downworlders’ faces that none of them were aware of any such legal battle. A battle for Downworlder rights in Alicante itself — might that be how New York wound up with such a progressive leader?

“You didn’t know?” Lightwood seems surprised, but shakes it off after a moment. “No, how would you? It’s all going down in Alicante, and it’s not like there are any procedures in place to inform the Downworld of legislative changes that affect you.” He huffs with what seems like genuine frustration. On a Downworlder’s behalf. Every word out of Lightwood’s mouth brings a new surprise. 

Lightwood begins to explain the situation. “Alicante’s last four legislative sessions have been dominated by debate over Downworlder rights. It’s partially because the younger generation is now taking over Head positions from our parents, which is causing a shift in priorities. The old guard is pushing back, of course, but we’re making progress.” He pulls out a binder, stuffed full with papers but appearing meticulously organized. “We’ve managed to stop a bill that Inquisitor Herondale was pushing, which would’ve held leaders of groups of Downworlders responsible not only for the behaviour of members of that group, but also for the behaviour of rogue Downworlders in their area. Our main goal, though, is to get a rewrite of the Accords.” 

Magnus leans back in his chair, doing his best to set aside shock in favour of thinking logically about the political situation. “What do you want to change in the Accords?”

“We’ve got a couple ideas — the right to a trial with a mixed Downworlder/Shadowhunter jury, for example — but what I’d really like to get is your input.” Lightwood glances around at the table. “There’s no point in rewriting the Accords if we end up back where we started.” 

Right. Just Shadowhunters actually trying to help Downworlders, for the first time Magnus can remember. “Not everything can be solved by changing a few laws.”

“It can’t,” Lightwood agrees, “but changing the laws is a place to start, and I’d like to think this Cabinet could be a step towards fixing the other problems we’re facing.” 

Magnus nods, slowly, and they get to work.

[A brief explanation of what happens next: Magnus and Alec become friends (ft. minor misunderstandings and mutual pining). Clary shows up, and Malec deal with her a bit better than they do in canon, because a) Alec is properly HoTI in this ’verse, so he has more power, and b) Malec already know each other and can rely on each other/cooperate more than they do in canon. Valentine manages to build a bomb of angelic energy, which he plans to let off in a roomful of Downworlders (as an alternative to the Soul Sword, since Alec kept that out of his hands in this ’verse). Alec manages to evacuate the Downworlders (giving up on catching Valentine to do so), but he himself is hit with the angelic bomb. It doesn’t kill him, but they soon discover that it’s infected him with angelic energy (similar to heavenly fire, but not exactly the same). If he touches a Downworlder, they die, and if he touches a mundane, they become a Forsaken (basically, Alec touching a non-Shadowhunter has the same effect as drawing a rune on them). They also suspect that if he touches a Shadowhunter, the angelic energy will be passed from one to the other. Izzy’s testing suggests that the energy may consume Alec if they don’t figure out a way to get rid of it. In light of this, Alec has requested that Downworlders stay away from him, and has been attending Downworld Cabinet meetings via Projection. Magnus is, needless to say, upset.]

“What,” Alec asks, his voice clipped and harsh and cold, “are you doing here, Magnus?” 

Magnus refuses on principle to be deterred. “Am I not allowed to drop in to see a friend, Alexander?”

Alec opens his mouth, closes it, hisses, and then glares at him. He’s torn, Magnus knows, between the impulse to insist that Downworlders are welcome in the Institute any time they like — Alec’s really worked hard to make the Institute a more welcoming place — and the urge to get Magnus to leave by any means necessary. 

His goal is to protect Magnus, which is rather sweet, but also infuriating. They have no evidence whatsoever that just being in Alec’s presence could harm him, and seeing as Izzy is yet to find a cure for the angelic energy held in Alec’s body, Magnus thinks his magical expertise could come in handy. 

But no. Alec hasn’t quite forbidden any Downworlders from entering the Institute, but he’s strongly recommended that they stay away from him, which is essentially the same thing. In light of what happened to Gretel when Alec had touched her, Magnus can’t really say it’s an overreaction, but he absolutely can and will say that it’s yet another instance of Alec’s self-sacrificial tendencies. 

“You’re free to do whatever you like,” Alec says at last, scowling at him, and turns on his heel to stride away. 

Magnus follows. 

Alec leaves Ops and starts heading towards his office. 

Magnus keeps following him. 

Alec sits down at his desk and pulls a stack of papers towards himself. 

Magnus sits down opposite him, and waits. 

Alec sighs. “Magnus.”  

“Alec.”  

They look at each other across the desk for a moment. 

“At least let me do a magical scan,” Magnus offers. “I won’t need to touch you, and maybe we’ll figure something out to control it.” Because if we don’t control it—  

“The risks—”

“Are minor relative to the risks to you.” Alec isn’t going to convince Magnus otherwise. Not about this. Not when the untamed energy humming beneath Alec’s skin will eventually consume him, too, just as surely as it’ll kill any Downworlder who touches him. 

Alec’s lips are compressed stubbornly. “Magnus, it would really be best if you—”

“I’m not leaving.” Alec may have a stubborn streak a mile wide, but so does Magnus, especially when it comes to this. To Alec’s safety. “You’re my friend. I’m not going to sit by and do nothing while you waste away.” 

Alec means a good deal more than a friend to Magnus, but that’s beside the point. The point is that Alec already looks skinnier than he should, his cheekbones sharper, his musculature more pronounced. The angelic energy is eating him up from the inside, and Magnus wants to help.  

Whatever retort Alec was formulating is cut off when his tablet blares with an alert that sounds more like an alarm than anything else. Alec frowns and grabs it, silencing the noise and staring down at whatever it says on the screen. 

“Another potential hideout of Valentine’s,” Alec says at last, glancing up at Magnus and then back down. “We’ve come across more than a few potential locations, but so far they’ve all been dead ends. Still worth checking, obviously, but we’ll just send a small team to investigate and call everyone else if they find anything.” 

He looks at Magnus again, and then down at his watch. “As a matter of fact, I think I’ll go. I’ve spent too long cooped up in the Institute.” 

Magnus has no plans whatsoever to let Alec avoid this conversation by just walking away. “Good point. I’ll come with you.” 

“No.” Alec scowls at him. 

Magnus returns the look. 

Alec sighs as if to relent. “We can continue this conversation when I get back, okay?” 

“Fine,” Magnus lies — he’s definitely not letting Alec investigate a possible Circle hideout without backup. 

So, ten minutes after Alec leaves, Magnus steps out of a portal across the street from the empty warehouse. 

“Magnus—” Alec hisses from behind him. “Why did you follow me?” 

“Two sets of eyes are better than one,” Magnus replies. “Seen anything so far?” 

Alec huffs, but acknowledges that there’s no way Magnus is going to leave. See, Magnus knows he can be sensible sometimes. 

“No, there doesn’t seem to be anyone there, but that doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t anyone there,” Alec tells him. “We should try getting a bit closer.” 

Magnus hums agreement, and the two of them creep quietly forwards, sticking to the shadows of the sparse trees although Alec maintains a careful six feet of distance between them. Alec’s footsteps are, of course, completely silent, but Magnus has snuck around enough places to be pretty quiet as well. The loudest sound is their breathing. 

Until, that is, Magnus feels wards brushing against his skin. “Alexander, wait—”

Too late. Alec, several steps ahead of him, is already across the wards. 

An alarm begins to blare. 

Alec swears softly, and glances back at Magnus. Backup, he mouths, and Magnus flicks his fingers behind his back to send off several urgent fire messages — to the Institute as well as to various Downworlders. Best to get as many fighters here as possible, although he knows it’s unlikely that any of them will arrive anytime soon. 

The not-so-abandoned warehouse is now somewhat reminiscent of a kicked anthill — Circle members in black are scurrying out of it in not-insignificant numbers. 

Magnus makes a quick mental calculation. There’s no way they can fight off that many Circle members alone; there’s no way they can even survive against them until backup arrives. Which leaves either running away, and letting Valentine have a chance to escape, or—  

“How about I cast a spell of invisibility on us, and we sneak inside?” Magnus whispers urgently. 

Alec nods, no doubt having come to the same conclusion. The spell takes effect, and they move in tandem towards the building. 

It’s simple enough to slip, invisible, past the scurrying Circle members, but the difficulty of the invisibility spell increases exponentially with the number of people trying to look through it, and the wards are mildly magic-suppressant. (Mildly to Magnus, at least; they’d be effective against a warlock like Dot.) 

He can’t afford to go into a fight with Circle members low on magic. So, once they’re within the building and out of the Circle members’ direct sight, he drops the glamour with a sigh. Alec glances at him, worried, but only activates a couple runes and continues on — still a couple paces away from Magnus. 

It’s not long before they come across another Circle member, presumably left behind to guard the building while her fellows search outside; Alec kills her with an arrow through her throat. The next two guards are dispatched with similar ease, but the one after that manages to yell before Magnus’s magic wraps around their throat. Magnus sees Alec tense, just as alarms begin to blare; it’s only a matter of time, now, until they’re overrun. 

Circle members are pouring in, an unending stream of them that they can only barely keep at bay. They stand back to back, a scant foot between them so they don’t quite trust, and Magnus fights with magic and blades until the floor is wet with blood and the hallways dotted with corpses. 

And then Valentine is there. It’s obvious that he’s a better fighter than any of his lackeys; Magnus only barely dodges a swipe of his seraph blade, but before he can engage Valentine in proper combat, Alec is there, his blades glowing as brightly as Valentine’s and his Deflect rune standing in sharp contrast to the circle on Valentine’s neck. Magnus can’t hit Valentine with a spell while Alec’s there, but he can knock out the Circle members coming to Valentine’s aid, so he lets Alec deal with the greater threat while he dispatches the lesser ones. 

There are quite a few Circle members left, though, and Magnus is forced to divert most of his attention away from Alec and Valentine in order to fight them. Magic wraps around hands to deflect seraph blades; the knife in Magnus’s other hand darts out to sever tendons and muscles with quiet efficiency. 

And then he hears Alec grunt in pain, and half-turns to look in time to see one of Alec’s seraph blades go sailing out of his bloodied hand — Magnus knocks Valentine back a step with a desperate burst of magic, but he’s too slow, and one of his own assailants’ blades lands in his stomach. 

The angelic energy burns, and he can feel it attacking his magic, trying to eat away at the demonic side of him. He sweeps a hand towards the several Circle members around him, and they fall like stones, and then his magic sputters out against the onslaught of the seraph blade’s angelic power. 

Valentine has lost a seraph blade, too, in the impact from Magnus’s spell; he turns and runs for the doorway. Alec drops to his knees by Magnus’s side — when did Magnus sit down? — and hovers there, anxiously. 

“Go after him,” Magnus hisses, “I’ll be fine—”  

Alec frowns. “The blood loss—”

“The blade itself will keep that from happening,” Magnus returns, “at least until Cat’s here to help me. Don’t let Valentine get away.”

A moment more when Alec hesitates, and then he stands and grabs a blade from a fallen Circle member in his injured hand. “Don’t take the blade out, Magnus,” he says, almost pleadingly, and then he runs after Valentine. 

Magnus takes a deep breath — ouch —  and scoots over to sit against the wall. 

He inspects the injury. The blade’s gone into his abdomen pretty cleanly, and it doesn’t seem like it’s hit anything crucially important (or, at least, anything that’ll kill him before backup arrives); not much blood is leaking out, which is also a good sign. On the other hand, it hurts like hell, and since it’s a seraph blade, warlock magic isn’t going to do anything to stem the injury. And he is, himself, without magic until the seraph blade is out of him; since taking it out would likely lead to him bleeding to death in fairly short order, he is now approximately useless. 

And Alec is facing off against Valentine alone.  

Fortunately, Magnus doesn’t have long to worry about it, because he hears the clashing of blades not far off and then Alec and Valentine come back into view. Their blades — two seraph blades each; Alec prefers to dual-wield and clearly Valentine is as good with two blades as he is with one — are flashing in the air almost faster than the eye can follow. Valentine, Magnus knows, was the best Shadowhunter of his generation; the fact that Alec can even keep up with him is impressive, but he won’t be able to last long. 

And Magnus can’t help him.  

It’s been barely five minutes since Magnus sent out the fire messages for backup, never mind that it’s felt like far longer. He can probably begin expecting help starting in about another two minutes, but by that time, Alec might be— No. He won’t let that happen. Not to Alec, not to the best man (nevermind Shadowhunter) he’s ever met, not to anyone but especially not to Alec, who he loves—

The means at his disposal. No magic; the knife he was fighting with earlier is too far out of reach, as are any of the Circle members who might have weapons. And the seraph blade currently stabbed through his abdomen, of course. 

Alec is obviously tiring. High-intensity combat like this, or even like the fighting they’d been doing together before Valentine showed up, isn’t sustainable for longer than a few minutes, and Alec is quickly approaching that threshold. 

Magnus pulls the seraph blade out of his stomach — quickly, quietly, if Valentine notices he’ll lose his element of surprise — and hurls it across the room with unerring aim. 

Valentine gasps, an expression of surprise on his face and a seraph blade protruding from his throat, and then drops to the ground at Alec’s feet. 

Magnus’s wound starts bleeding in earnest.

Valentine falls, and Alec barely takes the time to make sure he’s actually dead before he’s turning to Magnus, who’s on the ground, a hand pressed to his side with blood leaking out between his fingers. 

Alec finds himself, abruptly, at Magnus’s side, without much regard for the intervening space and/or time. “Magnus—”

“Alexander.” Magnus says his name like it’s a full sentence all on its own, the way he always does, although this time his voice is hoarse with pain. 

Brutally, Alec shoves down his first instinct, to reach out and help Magnus put pressure on the injury. It’s only thanks to the last few weeks of training himself to never touch people that he’s able to stop himself; instead of touching Magnus, his hands hover awkwardly between them. 

The blood is coming out too fast. “Can’t you heal it?” Alec asks, and then realises that was a stupid question, because obviously Magnus would have healed the giant gaping injury in his stomach if he’d been able to. 

“Injuries from seraph blades are resistant to warlock magic,” Magnus tells him anyway. 

No runes either, since Magnus is a warlock. “Mundane healing, then? We can get you to a hospital—”

Magnus sighs. His face is alarmingly pale. “Mundane doctors aren’t going to be able to stitch me back together, I don’t think, and in any case I don’t have the magic for a portal and you can’t touch me.”

Alec feels his heart stutter. “There isn’t — there isn’t anything we can do?” 

The smile on Magnus’s face is far, far too sad, and Alec’s mind is screaming no no no no no. “I’m sorry, Alexander.” 

“Don’t apologise,” he manages, “there must be — something—” no no no no no

“I’ve lived a long time.” That terribly sad smile doesn’t falter. “And if this is how it ends, well — it’s not the worst way to die.” 

nonononononononono, Alec’s brain says, and but you’re not supposed to die at all, and I love you, and he doesn’t quite manage to put any of that into words, but only crouches there and stares at Magnus. 

“I wanted to—” and then Magnus hesitates, and frowns, and the uncertainty in his expression is a thousand times worse than the too-sad smile. 

“You wanted?” Alec asks, because if Magnus is going to — if he’s really — if this is the last time, then the least Alec can do is encourage him to say whatever it is that he has on his mind. 

“I wanted to tell you,” Magnus says, as though he’s made a decision, “that I love you, and I have loved you as long as I’ve known you and maybe for centuries before, and I don’t want to die without telling you, even if you don’t feel the same—”

“Magnus, what — of course I feel the same,” Alec manages, his chest a knot of love-pain-longing-grief because if Magnus had said that a month ago, a day ago, it would’ve been everything he wanted, but now Magnus is dying and Alec can’t touch him. 

There’s a trickle of blood running down Magnus’s cheek, and tears on his face, and the tips of his hair — dyed blue, brilliant and beautiful as Magnus always was — are blurry. Alec realises that there are tears on his own face, too. 

“Idiots, the pair of us, then,” Magnus huffs, and even with his face blurred out by tears, Alec knows that the sad smile is back on his face. “I wish—”

I wish we’d figured it out sooner, Alec thinks, and he knows Magnus is thinking the same thing. All this time they’ve known each other, all this time running around in circles, and now, now, they know that they love each other. 

Magnus tilts his head back against the wall and breathes out, rasping and pained. Alec’s fingers twitch with the suppressed desire to cup his face, to wipe away the tears and the blood. He holds himself still. 

“Can I ask something impossibly selfish of you, Alexander?” Magnus murmurs, meeting his eyes again. 

Doubt you could be selfish if you tried, Alec thinks, but that’s not particularly helpful. “Anything.”

Magnus swallows. “I want to kiss you.”

It takes Alec a moment to realise that he isn’t voicing an abstract desire, but asking that impossibly selfish thing of Alec. His first reaction, upon processing this, is but I’ll kill you, and then with a horrible sinking feeling he remembers that Magnus is already dying and so — so — 

Anything, Alec said, only moments before, and if this is what Magnus is asking for — to die at Alec’s touch rather than of blood loss — then what can Alec do but give it to him? 

“Okay,” he says, and he feels his heart beat faster at the thought of kissing Magnus even as he knows that there will be no recovering from this — from watching him burn and crumble to ashes at Alec’s touch. 

Alec leans forward and presses their lips together, and for a moment all thoughts of what will come next are lost in the softness of Magnus’s lips, the salt tang of the tears on both their faces, the desperate joy that rises in his chest regardless of anything that his brain has to say about it.

He pulls back to breathe in, unwilling to open his eyes and watch as Magnus—

“Alexander,” Magnus says, and Alec’s eyes snap open. 

He’s — he’s here, and he’s alive, and if Alec is hallucinating this, he thinks he rather prefers it to reality. 

His eyes flicker down to the injury in Magnus’s stomach, from which blood still flows. Not a hallucination, then. 

“It didn’t hurt me,” Magnus breathes. “But how — unless the angelic energy—” He’s frowning, muttering to himself in the way he does when he’s caught up in some research project or other. Alec catches the words angelic descent and Asmodeus and fallen angel, but he’s mostly too busy staring at Magnus to follow. 

(Magnus, alive, but terribly pale.)

Apparently having reached a conclusion he’s satisfied with, Magnus nods sharply. “My father,” he says, “is a fallen angel, and the best explanation I can come up with for this is that there’s enough angel left in him — and, therefore, in me — to prevent the angelic energy in your touch from harming me.” He pauses. “Which is fascinating, actually; I’ve obviously never tested whether other forms of angelic energy hurt me—”

Alec’s been only half listening — Magnus’s rants about magical theory are always fascinating, but Magnus is also bleeding out right now — but the thought of other forms of angelic energy sparks something in his head. “You think runes could work on you?”

Magnus frowns at him. “Quite possibly, but I’d want to try with something else first—”

Without a word, Alec grabs a witchlight from his pocket and pushes it into Magnus’s hand. The brush of skin-on-skin contact — the first in weeks — makes him shudder, but now is not the time. 

The witchlight glows red. 

Magnus stares at it. “Fascinating. But Alec, what—”

“If there’s any chance runes work on you,” Alec whispers, through the desperate clenching of his throat, “we have to try.”  

Wide-eyed, Magnus gapes at Alec. Had he really been so interested in the theoretical implications of his apparent immunity to angelic magic that he hadn’t spared a thought for the fact that it might save his life? By the Angel, Alec loves him more than words can say, and he is the smartest person Alec knows, but he can be incredibly idiotic when it comes to taking care of himself. 

“It could work,” Magnus mutters, “although no way of knowing for certain—” 

“But,” Alec says, desperate, “if the other option is definitely dying—”

Magnus nods, and Alec’s stele is in his hands before he’s consciously reached for it. 

Iratzes first, of course, one after another, traced with the careful precision of a lifetime of practice and the intent devotion of lifetimes’ worth of love, until the gaping hole begins to close. Then mendelin for strengthening his constitution, blood-replenishment runes, more iratzes—

On a Shadowhunter, that injury would have been dangerous, left alone to bleed out for so long. With a parabatai drawing the runes, it would’ve been fine, eventually; without a parabatai, Alec wouldn’t’ve lost hope, but he wouldn’t’ve been optimistic. For some reason, these runes seemed nearly as effective as parabatai runes; Alec didn’t have the faintest idea if it was because of the angelic energy humming under his skin, or because of Magnus’s heritage, or for another reason entirely, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

When reinforcements arrived, they found the two of them side by side, a slightly haggard Magnus still leaning against Alec but with plenty of colour in his cheeks. 

(Alec, on his part, had an arm around Magnus’s shoulders and didn’t plan to let go for a long while.)