#he got saturday and sunday off this and next weekend and we’re so so happy lol

[chantalstacys]

weekend 📓

sleeping in, getting coffee, grocery shopping, napping. wine, homemade soup, watching tv together, going to bed late. sleeping in again and snuggling our cats, cute outfits, shopping downtown, smelling candles, giving him my bags to carry and feeling him follow me around, meeting cousin at our favorite bar for drinks & apps ♡

[therealbeachfox]

Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.

Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.

It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.

But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.

The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.

“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”

“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”

We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.

"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?

The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.

We had slightly miscalculated.

Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.

“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”

“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”

“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”

“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”

And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.

00000

We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.

It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.

At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.

Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.

So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.

“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.

Monday is the last day to do this, after all.

00000

So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.

The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.

“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”

So.

Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?

Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.

It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).

Then it starts to rain.

We had not dressed for rain.

00000

Here is how the next six hours go.

We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.

Everyone is so happy.

Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.

People online start making delivery orders.

Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.

A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.

The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.

A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.

Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.

00000

We have Line Neighbors.

Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.

The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.

Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”

“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”

“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”

My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.

“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.

“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”

We stay in line.

It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.

The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.

We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.

It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.

They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.

We still have a -long- way to go.

00000

They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.

It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”

We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.

We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.

I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.

The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.

Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.

The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.

A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“

The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”

We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.

If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.

That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.

There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.

We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)

I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.

There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.

Then we're married.

Then we get in line to get our license.

It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.

Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.

We make it to the marriage records office.

I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.

It's almost 3PM.

00000

There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.

We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.

I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”

He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.

Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.

We get back to our car and climb in.

It’s 4:30 and we are starving.

There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.

We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.

We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.

The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.

My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”

00000

It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”

But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.

It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.

I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.

We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.

Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.

It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.

Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"

And that was that.

00000

When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.

I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.

I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.

I never thought I’d live in this world.

And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.

I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.

The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.

And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.

[ericdeggans]

The fun and fear of guest hosting All Things Considered

As a longtime NPR nerd, I have often listened to the smooth, smart anchors leading broadcasts of our newsmagazines and wondered: Could I do that?

Last Saturday and Sunday, I found out, when I got the chance to fill in for Michel Martin as guest anchor on Weekend All Things Considered.

I knew from a stint guest hosting CNN’s late, lamented media analysis show Reliable Sources years ago, that even a temporary host can have lots of influence over a show. The key is to assemble a lineup of interviews and stories which are informative and newsy, but also show off the host’s strengths by speaking to their expertise, enthusiasms and abilities.

For me, it was also an opportunity to pull together some dreamed-about interviews, backed by the appeal to the subject of appearing on a newsmagazine which reaches millions of listeners over a weekend. My biggest fear: breaking news which would require lots of live anchoring; fortunately, the news gods smiled down and people seemed to chill out for the holiday weekend.

Here's links to some of the stories we offered over those two days. Their quality is a real testament to the staff at Weekend All Things Considered, who were supportive, understanding of a newbie’s nerves and so good at their jobs, it made speaking to an audience of millions exhilarating and fun – and only a little bit scary.

This is one of my favorite interviews: blerding out on comic book lore with Ryan Coogler, director of Wakanda Forever, which stands at the top of the box office. We talk about the death of Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman, making longtime antihero Namor a Mayan (and those ankle wings!) and how two guys wrote a female centered, big budget Marvel movie. Click here to listen.

I’m a late-night TV nerd. So it was beyond fulfilling to get two of the smartest comics in late night to spend a little time talking about the future of late night TV and whether it makes sense to call out comics out for monologues which seem, for some, to encourage and/or minimize antisemitism or prejudice. The Daily Show’s Roy Wood Jr. and The Amber Ruffin Show’s Jenny Hagel were super smart, super funny and super thoughtful in this discussion, which you can hear by clicking here. Another version can be found in our podcast Consider This.

Flying to Washington DC on Thanksgiving night, I was astonished to see tech journalist Kara Swisher taking apart Twitter’s new owner Elon Musk in a series of tweets where she called him her biggest disappointment in 25 years as a tech reporter. During a staff a meeting the next day, I asked the team: Do you think we could get Swisher to talk with us about what happened? Turns out, they could, and we talked about Elon, whether we’re seeing the twilight of the tech bro and the future of Black Twitter. Listen here.

One thing NPR does well is spotlight up and coming artists before they become household names. So I was proud and honored to feature a revealing interview with Elegance Bratton, director/writer of the new film The Inspection, a movie based on his own life about a Black, gay homeless man -- rejected by his homophobic mother – who seeks refuge in the Marines. After the interview was done, Elegance told us he had dreamed of being interview by NPR about one of his films for years. We were happy to make that one come true – click here to listen.

A talk with Stephen Fowler of Georgia Public Radio on the start of voting in the state’ contentious Senate runoff election between Democrat Raphael Warnock and Republican Herschel Walker.

A conversation with expert Manuel Zamarripa on how to process the trauma from media coverage of mass shootings.

Discussion of the podcast White Hats, which dissects the complex and often bloody history of a group typically lionized in film and TV shows: The Texas Rangers.

Words with Senator Amy Klobuchar on her plans to convene a hearing on Ticketmaster’s dominance of the concert ticketing industry after their massive failure to sell tickets to Taylor Swift’s new concert tour.

[gi-maeve-rose]

“I don’t know what you got in your head, but this is not what we do, Isa,” Valeria hissed into the phone. “This is the first and last time you’re pulling this kinda crap again, you hear me? And we’re having a long ass talk about this when you get home.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Monday, October 31st, 11:48AM

Radio silence all weekend, save for a check in text from Isabella every few hours Saturday and Sunday, and a text early that morning saying ‘Happy Birthday’ and letting Valeria know she was off to school. It was all the interaction Valeria had energy for, especially after the events of Friday night.

She wholly wished that she wouldn’t remember it when she crashed back in her apartment. Unfortunately for her, she remembered every little bit of it when she regained consciousness around noon the next morning, and she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since. About Rafael. His body was so warm against hers when they danced, his arms tight and secure around her waist. He was so gentle, until he wasn’t. He became hungry. Ravenous, even, biting and marking her lips and neck, hands clawing at her clothes, grasping at her ass and breasts. The friction of their hips grinding—

“Happy birthday!” Fin unknowingly interrupted Valeria’s intrusive thoughts, placing an open box of donuts right in front of her on the desk. “You still like strawberry with sprinkles, right?”

Bless God. Valeria smiled and laughed, taking a pink frosted donut with pumpkin and bat shaped sprinkles. “I’m genuinely surprised you remember that.” She took a large bite. “It was literally a decade ago you bought me donuts.”

He set the box by the coffee station, taking a jelly filled donut for himself while Carisi helped himself. “I remember because they’re as sweet as you,” he joked with a goofy grin.

“Back it up, smooth talker, or I’ll tell Phoebe you’re flirting with me.”

“Hey, now. No need to threaten my life like that.”

Sonny laughed around his bite of donut as he went to take his seat across from Valeria. “How’re you feeling?” he asked her, pulling open his laptop. “I texted you Saturday morning, but I didn’t hear back.”

“Come on, Carisi, you saw how wasted she was Friday night,” Amanda chimed in jovially from her desk. “You think she was up any time before noon?” Not that Amanda was any better, but she for Ed herself up before noon so she could pick up Billie and Jesse from her mother’s place. Being a mom was a full time job, even with a hangover.

“Listen, I may be Hispanic, but I don’t drink often enough to have a tolerance,” Valeria defended. “I’m just glad I was able to get myself up to my apartment.” After making a visit down the hall, but they didn’t need to know that. Christ, every time there was even the vaguest mention, she was back in his apartment, their hands all over each other.

It made it even harder to forget when Rafael walked into the squad room. He was always cleaned up so nicely, standing so proud. Today, however, he was more modest, his smile softer. He carried with him a small, red gift bag, setting it in front of Valeria. "Happy birthday, Detective Castillo."

Rafael made it known amongst the squad that he wasn't the gift-giving type. He would have a drink and celebrate for a few hours, but that was more or less the extent of it. Save for his mother, of course. ‘A special something for a special someone’, or however that quote went. But which was it? Was Valeria a special someone, as indicated by the gift, or just another detective, as stated by Rafael? And Friday night��� They hadn’t talked since, barely seen each other. Valeria lost count of the times she held open their text thread, typing and deleting messages until she ultimately decided it was best to act like it never happened. But now she wasn’t sure if that was the best move. Rafael was smart. There was no way he’d believe that she didn’t remember, especially when she’d been actively avoiding him. Maybe this was his way of an unspoken reconciliation.

Valeria blinked in surprise, looking between Rafael and the bag. “I— This is for me?”

Rafael chuckled. “I am giving it you.” It was the least he could do. There was no bad blood, no feelings of regret. Mostly butterflies, but that was a need-to-know basis. And no one needed to know. Rafael caught the knowing glances exchanged between Fin, Sonny, and Amanda as Valeria hesitantly dug through the tissue-stuffed bag.

Her expression quickly transform from confused and curious to beaming, squealing in delight as she pulled out a hand-carved mortar and a bag of pilones. “You stopped by Javi’s bodega on Clark, didn’t you?” Any embarrassment or reluctance was wiped away and replaced with appreciation.

“I might have recalled you whining about a broken mortar during the move, and more recently a craving for sweets,” he mused proudly, crossing his arms over his chest. He nodded to the bag. “There should be one more thing in there.”

More? What was this about? She reached into the bag again, pushing tissue aside until her hand touched a thin string. Cold. Metal. A chain? Valeria wrapped her fingers around it and pulled, mouth agape when she revealed a silver chain carrying a small blue pendant roughly in the shape of Puerto Rico. “Holy…” She looked up at Rafael with wide eyes. “There’s no way you found this at Javi’s.”

“He had some handmade necklaces made with rough cuts of gemstones.” It was a long shot and a risk of rejection, but when Rafael saw it hanging on a little rack, he couldn’t pass the opportunity to get it. He walked behind her, taking the necklace and unclasping it to put around her neck. “He said it was Larimar, but I’m pretty sure that was just to sell me on it.” Though he would’ve bought it either way, and would absolutely do it again just to see the look of wonder on her face again. He felt relief and, yet again, pride when she accepted the gift, lifting her hair off her neck to let him fasten the clasp. Again, the detectives shared glances, but Rafael didn’t care. All he cared about in the moment was getting a chance to get Valeria alone to talk about what happened the other night…

“Jeez, man,” Fin piped up, pouting. “Why you gotta flex on my donuts?”

Valeria laughed, letting her hair back down. “Don’t worry, Fin, your gift is still my favorite.” She looked at herself, the necklace, in the reflection of her phone screen. She couldn’t stop smiling. “Thank you, Counselor,” she said, looking up at Rafael. “I love it.”

“Love what?” Olivia asked as she finally came into the squad room. “Sorry I’m late, by the way. Noah was having a problem with a classmate and I had to have a sit down with him, his teacher, and the other student and his parents.”

“Need me to fight the kid?” Valeria offered.

Amanda chuckled. “You can’t fight a ten year old, Val.”

“Watch me.”

Olivia scoffed, holding up a hand. “I appreciate the offer, but no. It’s all taken care of.” She noticed the bag and its contents when she got closer, brows raising. “Is this what’s getting all the love? Had I known, I would’ve gotten you something, too.”

Carisi took his seat across from Valeria, giving her and Barba a knowing smile, and Valeria rolled her eyes. “It was as much of a surprise to me as it is to you,” she insisted. “The night at the bar and the donuts were more than enough, but I guess Rafael thought—

Woah, hang on. Rewind. “Rafael? This is from you?”

Rafael rolled his eyes at Olivia in the same manner Valeria did at Carisi. “To make up for Friday night.” He was purposely vague, knowing they’d connect it to his absence at the bar, but he noticed Valeria tense, not making the same connection.

“You didn’t miss anything,” Amanda promised. “Valeria was her same, loud self. Just drunk.”

“Oh, piss off,” Valeria laughed. “You’re just mad I beat you in a drinking game.” She unwrapped one of the pilones, popping it in her mouth and putting the rest back in the bag, along with the mortar. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna put these in my locker.”

“Hey, let me try one of those sucker things.” Sonny thanked Valeria in Italian, watching her walk off before he turned back to Rafael with a wide grin. “Speaking of suckers,” he mused, unwrapping the candy.

Rafael blinked, taken aback by Sonny’s retort. “Excuse me?” he huffed.

“We’ve worked with you for, what, a little under a decade?” Fin wheeled his chair over next to Carisi. “Out of everyone here, you’re closest with Liv, and I don’t think you’ve ever gotten her a present like you did for Val.”

“And a necklace, at that,” Amanda added.

To which Olivia balked. “A necklace?” She could always do without presents for any occasion. She wasn’t much of a materialistic person anyhow, and she figured Valeria was more or less the same way. To add, she didn’t think Rafael was much of a gift giver. In all the years she knew him, he never came off as thoughtful. That’s not to say he didn’t have a good heart, he was just… a little cold, for lack of better phrasing. “What’s that about, Rafa?”

Rafael smiled, unashamed. “Well, like Detective Carisi has been hinting at, but not that it’s anyone else’s business, I’ll admit I’ve grown fond of Detective Castillo.” That was an understatement. “Where most people would find her abrasive and vulgar attitude to be a turn off, I find it amusing and charming. The Connor Davis case aside, she’s dealt with a lot of other things, and she didn’t let any of it stop her from getting to where she is now, didn’t let it break her down. If that’s not something and someone to admire, I don’t know what is.”

While the sentiment was obvious, the details weren’t until Rafael practically just poured his heart out. He was outspoken, but no one thought like that. “Wow,” Sonny huffed, brows raised. “So, what, you two are a thing now?”

“I don’t think so,” Fin said like he already knew. “I don’t think Val would’ve been all that surprised by the gift otherwise.”

“So, he’s in the process of wooing her,” he deduced. “Is it working?”

What was happening? Rafael found himself just barely able to keep up. “I’m sorry, are you guys putting my love life under investigation now?” The conversation was ridiculous and invasive, but honestly amusing, evident by the grin on his face.

Olivia smirked. “Should it be?”

“Liv!”

Olivia laughed, squeezing Rafael’s bicep. “I’m teasing, Rafa,” she assured. “Whatever happens, I’ll take this as a disclosure of a romantic relationship, if it comes to that.” She started toward her office, gesturing to the rest of her team. “Regardless of that, let’s get to work. Rollins, Carisi, I still need your DD5s from that Joshua Fletcher case.”

“On it, boss,” the two said in unison, switching back to work mode.

Rafael watched as the squad went back to work, but Valeria’s desk remained empty. It was taking a lot longer to put away a little gift bag than it should have. He couldn’t help feeling uneasy, making his way toward the back. He heard her before he saw her, scolding someone in Spanish. When he peeled into the room, he saw her on the phone.

“I don’t know what you got in your head, but this is not what we do, Isa,” Valeria hissed into the phone. “This is the first and last time you’re pulling this kinda crap again, you hear me? And we’re having a long ass talk about this when you get home.” She hung up, tossing the phone back into her locker with a huff and putting the sucker back in her mouth.

Rafael’s brows furrowed deep. Isabella didn’t seem like the type to get herself into trouble. “Hey.” He walked over, leaning against the lockers. “What happened?”

Valeria groaned, slumping back against the lockers. “I’m too young to be dealing with teenage rebellion,” she complained. “Isabella didn’t show up to her fourth period class. I don’t understand, she’s never done this before. She’s always been a good kid.”

He smiled gently. “Even so, I’m sure she just wanted a bit of adventure,” Rafael reasoned. “It’s not unheard of that even the good kids test the waters at one point or another.” His grin turned cocky. “Besides, she is your sister. I wouldn’t be surprised if she takes after you just a little bit.”

Valeria balked with a scoff, playfully shoving Rafael’s chest. “Dick.” She held the sucker in her mouth as she grabbed her phone and closed the locker. “She’s got until the end of the school day to call me back.” She hoped she would. It didn’t occur to Valeria that anything else could be wrong.

Rafael chuckled, swaying back from the shove before standing straight again, a little closer to her now. He could smell the cigarettes she smoked that morning and cherry candy on her breath. “Until then…” He glanced toward the door to assure privacy. A flutter rose in his lower belly, spreading quick as he turned back to Valeria. “Can we talk about what happened Friday night?”

It was a goddamn ambush. Valeria knew better than to trust the candy, but she fell for it anyway. It was worse than alcohol in this case, her inhibitions lowered. Too trusting. All of the embarrassment from that night, the whole weekend, came flooding back, her blushing cheeks visible through her makeup, shaking her head wildly as she avoided eye contact. “Look, Counselor, I’m sorry about that,” she apologized frantically. “I was extremely inebriated, I was stressed, and I didn’t— I just—“

“Needed a little stress relief?” Suggestive, witty. He laughed as she shoved him again, this time catching her hand and keeping it against his chest. “Hey. You don’t have to apologize for anything. You did nothing wrong.”

“It was inappropriate,” she argued.

“It was hot.” The claim shocked him as much as it shocked her. He didn’t plan to divulge that much so soon, but he went along with it anyway. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it all weekend. I only stopped you because you were drunk, and I wasn’t going to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t do that to anyone, especially you.”

Were the candies spiked? Did he gift her edibles? Was this really happening? Valeria could only stare, mouth slightly agape. “No mames,” she finally said. “It’s not funny.”

Rafael shook his head. “I’m not joking,” he insisted. “And I’m not lying when I tell you I wanna see if there’s something there.” Not that he wasn’t sure if there was already. He just needed to know if she felt it, too.

Valeria had dealt with a lot in her life. Her father dying, a junkie mother, a vicious cycle of abuse, raising a kid when she was just a kid herself. She’d seen some horrible things in the world, things that would make anyone hide away for the rest of their life. For Valeria, it was this. Admission of feelings that she swore she never wanted to deal with again. Valeria had chalked up that night to exactly what Rafael said: stress relief. Granted, she didn’t get it, but that’s all she was looking for.

Or so she thought. Could he hear her heart hammering in her chest? Valeria took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She tried to find the words, but came up short and exhaled heavily. Rafael held her hand tighter, leaned in closer. “I’m not expecting publicity,” he clarified. “Honestly, I don’t even want that. These feelings… I’ve had them before for another woman, a long time ago, and it didn’t turn out the best for me, so I understand that apprehension. We can keep it between us for as long as we need. I just… I don’t want to pass this up.” He wouldn’t. Not again.

How was it possible that all of that helped and didn’t, simultaneously? Valeria still felt that nagging anxiety about jumping into something new yet old. And yet… She relaxed a bit, her fingers against his chest playing with the collar of his shirt, tugging gently at his tie. “Does that come with the promise of more pilones?” She grinned, looking up at him from beneath dark lashes.

And somehow everything was brighter. Rafael smiled slowly. “As many as you want,” he promised, bringing her hand up to kiss her knuckles. “And how does dinner with me tonight sound?”

“Are you finally gonna cook for me?” A half step closer and their bodies were just barely touching, despite how much she wanted to feel him against her again. But she was sober. She could restrain herself better now… Right?

She was so close… His hand let go of hers, pushing her hair behind her shoulder and letting it glide down her back, stopping at her waist. “I just might,” Rafael mused quietly. “But I’m keeping an eye on your alcohol intake.”

And there went the mood. Valeria rolled her eyes, stepping back. “I’m already sick of you. I’m getting back to work.” Rafael opened his mouth to sass more, but Valeria stopped him with a hand over his mouth. “Aht!” She slid her hand down, opening his mouth and putting her sucker in. “Shut up.” She walked out, but not before giving a final warning glare.

Rafael stayed put for a moment longer, a big, goofy smile on his face. Valeria was far from his usual type, but holy fuck, was he enamored. She was bold and fiery. Along with amusing and charming, it was a major turn on. His tongue swirled over the sucker she placed in his mouth, savoring the flavor of cherry and her. Easy, Rafa. Not here. He took a calming breath, collecting himself and pushing his sinful thoughts aside before he took his leave.

•••••••••••••••

6:41PM

The oxytocin made from the earlier agreement between Valeria and Rafael died down, gradually being replaced with worry as each hour passed. Valeria still hadn’t heard anything from Isabella, even hours after she was suppose to be home from school. It just wasn’t like Isabella to not check in, let alone skip classes. From her fourth hour gym class on, she was a no show. But even if she had skipped the rest of the school day, Valeria was fully prepared to not give a shit, so long as she was safe. She kept checking her phone every five minutes for anything. A call, a text, an email, something.

Valeria reluctantly started shutting down for the night, slapping her laptop shut. She caught Amanda’s attention as she was also getting ready to leave. “Hey. Everything good with you?”

Valeria shook her head with a heavy sighed, pushing a hand through her hair. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I haven’t heard from Isabella since this morning. She skipped all of her classes after gym and I haven’t been able to reach her.”

Amanda sympathized, also internally screaming that her own daughters could act out at one point or another. “I take it she doesn’t do this kinda thing often,” she assumed. “Anything I can do? Want me try calling her?”

“Could you? And if she answers, tell her I don’t care about her playing hooky right now, I just wanna know she’s safe.”

Amanda was already dialing Isabella on her phone. “Yeah, of course.” She reached over, squeezing Valeria’s arm.

Fin and Olivia were just about to make their way out, leaving Olivia’s office to see Valeria mildly distressed and Amanda on the phone. She quickly sensed the maternal worry and made her way over, Fin behind her. “Hey. What’s going on?” she asked, sharing in the collective anxiety.

“Isabella is skipping classes and not answering my calls,” Valeria explained.

“No answer for me,” Amanda announced regrettably, watching helplessly as Valeria started to pace.

Olivia set her purse and coat down on the desk, stopping Valeria. “Hey. Don’t worry, okay? We’re gonna find her.” She turned to Fin and Amanda. “Amanda, try to track Isabella’s phone. Fin, I want you to call Carisi. I know he’s home for the night, but see if he can stop by Valeria’s apartment and see if she’s home.”

Olivia turned her attention back to Val. Her heart aches for her, knowing very well the fear of not knowing where your little one was. It never went away, not even years after the fact, after getting Noah back safe and sound. “Val. Deep breaths, okay?” She sat with her at one of the desk. “Can you think of anywhere Isabella would go? A friend’s house? A relative?”

She thought she was done being victimized. Valeria had already lost count of how many times she’d asked someone else these questions. It took some getting use to. The familiar feeling of being sat down and questioned made her feel sick. “She has her friends, Marisol and Heather, but Marisol is visiting the Dominican Republic with her family, and Isabella was with Heather all weekend.”

“Is it possible she went back with Heather, then?”

Valeria shook her head. “I called Heather’s mom when school let out,” she explained. “Heather hadn’t seen her since third period and she didn’t leave school with her.” She fidgeted in her seat, pushing her hands in her hair again, pulling at the roots. “God dammit. What the hell is she thinking?”

“She’s a kid, Val,” Olivia reminded gently with a reassuring smile. “Often times, they don’t think at all.” She was learning that herself the older Noah got. More so with his classmates than with him, and for that, she was grateful.

Valeria scoffed. “Ain’t that the truth,” she muttered. She turned to her Mac Book, opening it again to try calling Isabella one more time. “You know, she wanted to go to Coachella next year, so I preordered tickets for her and her friends. Now I have to see if she’ll even have a social life by that point. She is so grounded.”

Olivia chuckled. “Need me to get you anything?”

“Coffee? Light cream and sugar?” She smiled in thanks, turning her attention to the laptop as Olivia got her her caffeine. She sighed harshly as she checked every messaging app for a fifth time, still with nothing to ease her worries.

“Hey, Val? TARU tracked her phone,” Amanda informed, turning the laptop toward her. “Is that address familiar?”

Valeria squinted at the screen, mentally cursing herself for already taking out her contacts, but she was able to make out the address. “This little shit,” she cursed, but felt immense relief. “That’s Sean Morris’s house, a kid on her debate team.”

A small smile grew on Amanda’s face. “A crush?”

“A huge one.” Valeria shook her head, rolling her eyes. “I swear to God, I’m already over having a teenager, and she’s not even mine.”

Olivia chuckled, standing with Valeria and gathering her things. “Well, at least we can say this conclusion is better than the alternative. What happens now?”

Valeria slipped on her jacket, phone in hand. “What happens is I’m gonna text her to have tonight, because she’s grounded as fuck tomorrow morning.” Until then, Valeria would have fun herself. It was her birthday, after all.

After saying good nights and leaving the precinct, she sent Rafael a text before she started driving. ‘Hit a little panic but all good now. B there in 20.’ Just before she rolled away, she was sent a response that she couldn’t help but smile at.

‘Take ur time, Te mantendré más tiempo cuando estés aquí ;)’

[deus-ex-mona]

i hope y’all had a great weekend!!!

i say, rambling about my strangely unrestful weekend under the cut because i have no friends to hear me out lmaooo

i’m only rambling here because the character limit in the tags is really annoying, and also because i really wanna remember all of the weird ideas that i threw out for my room planning in spite of my innately terrible memory, so here goes—

so, saturday! a day of rest for many, just a regular day at work for me :( but the one good thing about going to work yesterday is that i finally managed to eat this one specific food item that i’d been craving lmaooo.

on friday, this coworker dude offered to buy me (and everyone else too, really) some food to “celebrate” the weekend i guess? so i just told him that i wanted that food item (only because i’m unable to find it easily and stuff :(), and the dude actually managed to get it for me!!! granted, he bought it from a different country on his way to work, but still!!! the best part is that when the price of the stuff he bought was converted to local currency, the food came out to being literally 10 cents apiece, which was pretty funny ngl.

also, i got to hear some pretty 👀👀👀worthy work gossip, so that was fun~

and then came today. aka sunday!!!!

i found out that the apartment that my family and i would be moving into was almost ready(!!!!) and that i’d finally be getting my own room(!!!!!!!!).

so, naturally, i dragged my mother down to the apartment with me (despite her literally just coming back from visiting it with my brother) and took a gander for myself.

apart from my tiny room, the place was kinda insane ngl. they had some kind of built-in pulley system(????) for the overhead laundry rack, which you have to lower by yourself to hang your stuff on.

and also!!!! there seems to be sinks installed in the tank of the toilet bowl??? just look at it yo

that’s definitely a sink, right?

it befuddles me to no end… i asked my mother what it’s for, and she told me that i could gargle my mouth there, so that was rather unhelpful. ಠ‿ಠ

and after that, i dragged my mother off to ikea to look at the showrooms and stuff for ✨inspiration✨ and inspiration did strike!!! i managed to get great ideas about to how to maximise my space in my tiny room and even made weird doodles to illustrate my vision for posterity!!! hint: ✨shelves✨. tons of shelves!!

…but sadly, my mother rejected my suggestion of skipping the dining table entirely to attach a huge shelf to the wall instead, so we could eat like we’re at a noodle bar :( sads. home noodle bars could definitely be a thing, right?

but in the end, i guess i’ll end up missing this current tiny temporary apartment that i’ve been staying at for the past few years… i’ll definitely miss the wild chicken family that lives at the ground floor though… despite how noisy the rooster is… but oh well! life has to go on, right? may the rooster terrorise the next inhabitants of this temporary flat as well…

but aside from that, i’m definitely not looking forward to dealing with my storaged nonsense, especially my love live merch collection from ages ago. i don’t even like love live anymore, man… what the heck was past me thinking?

aaaa i hope no bugs got into my pokespe manga though… those were my treasures for sure. maaan do i have so many memories of writing/drawing bad fanfiction for pokespe. and also of n harmonia. my former friend and i obsessed over the poor dude for ages. we drew so much bad fanart of him, turned him into a frog hybrid of sorts, and even made small replicas of his waist cube during class one day… man, now i feel old lmao

sorry if you read this~! uhhhhh happy sunday (if it still sunday for you)!!!!

[namedafteraprincess]

what the heart wants - pt. 2

pairing: Eddie Munson x Kayla Walker (OC)

warnings: intoxication, heartbreak (sorry)

word count: 4.4k

part 1 || part 3

Masterlist

Eddie rolled over and brushed a tired hand over his eyes, pushing his brown curls back off his face. His fingertips brushed along his lower lip, the feeling of Kayla's lips lingered along with the taste of buttered popcorn. His signature goofy grin grew as he breathed out a chuckle. What was with this girl? Feelings were not part of this deal. She had to have some magic perfume on or something. Yeah, that's what happened. 

He continued muttering that to himself as he went about this Saturday morning routine. Well, afternoon, but it was morning for him. From breakfast to band practice, to planning the Hellfire's next part of the campaign for that week, Kayla's giggles echoed through his ears. He tapped his pen on the table, and tried to plan but kept coming up short as thoughts of her occupied his whole mind.

"This is ridiculous..." He mumbled, dropping his writing tool and running his hands through his curled mess.

A deep chuckle echoed through the trailer as his uncle emerged from his room, having just woken up. "Who's the girl?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

"What?" Eddie's eyes shot up to his uncle.

"Oh come on Ed, every Saturday afternoon, you sit at that table and are either writing songs or planning your hellfire thingy, and this whole place could collapse around you and still not break your concentration" He pointed. "So, who's the girl? Or guy... Whatever makes you happy" 

A deep sigh left the metalhead's lips, as he shook his head. “She’s annoying. And thinks Nirvana is better than Metallica. And she does this stupid, cute, nose thing when she laughs…” He groaned. “It’s just a money gig. Chrissy needed a cover for this party next weekend, so she’s paying me to get her cousin to go. That’s all.” 

Wayne’s laugh boomed through the trailer, “Just a money gig, huh? So her being in your head and you not being able to concentrate on the one thing you love most, that’s part of this money gig too?”

“No!” Eddie huffed, leaning back in his chair. “For the record, she is not the reason I can’t concentrate. We’re just at a tough spot in the campaign that takes more planning… Why am I explaining myself to you!” 

Another chuckle escaped his uncle, “Boy, you got it bad” 

“I’m going for a walk” Eddie mumbled, and walked out the front door. 

His uncle was wrong. This was not what he thought it was. There was no way. Eddie took a deep breath of fresh air as he headed down the road. One week. That was all he had to get through. It couldn’t be that hard. 

Just take your money, and go. It’s one party. There was an inner monologue going on in Eddie’s head as he walked, going over and over exactly what was needed of him for this transaction. The fact that this girl had weaselled her way under his skin so easily in a matter of a few days was not part of it. He also knew full well the denial he was putting himself through, but that was something to deal with after Friday night. 

The rest of the weekend, Eddie did everything he could to distract himself away from the glint of Kayla’s hazel eyes. Writing up the next two weeks of campaigns, cleaning his guitar, and even doing the dishes, which only brought about more jeering from his uncle, and when he went to bed Sunday night he could already feel the wash of anxiety in his stomach at the thought of seeing her. 

>><<

Monday. 

Eddie took a deep breath, and opened his driver's door, jumping out and watching the other students bustle past him. As he looked around he spotted her corolla in the parking lot, an involuntary smile creeping its way onto his face. 

“Damn it, Munson… get it together” He whispered to himself, running his fingers through his tangled curls as he walked into the halls. 

His eyes darted around until her beautiful brunette head came into his view. Her typical black combat boots, and light-wash ripped skinny jeans that hugged her ass perfectly, lead into the surprise of his life. An over-sized cropped Metallica shirt that hit the top of her jeans, showing a sliver of skin that Eddie just wanted to run his tongue over. 

Biting the inside of his cheek to stop that thought in it’s track, Eddie smirked and saunted over, shutting her locker with a ringed hand, he let his eyes trace over her body, 

“I told you so,” He let out a deep chuckle, and pushed her hair over her shoulder so he could get a better look at the band tee. 

Kayla smiled, rolling her eyes as she let out a groan, “This is not admitting anything! I just didn’t have anything else to wear today” 

“Mhm, yeah of course this has nothing to do with our conversation on Friday” He winked, letting his fingers trail up her bare arm as he kept his eyes locked with hers. 

“It does not have anything to do with that…” She smiled softly at him, placing her hand on his chest. 

Eddie cleared his throat, and sucked in a deep breath, looking around the hall quickly before back to her, “Kay, I should tell you something…” He spoke quietly. 

“You’re not going to sing me Bryan Adams again, are you?” She smirked, as the bell rang above them. “We’ll talk at lunch, yeah?” Kayla placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, before turning and jogging down the hall to her first class. 

A deep sigh left Eddie’s lips, slumping against the lockers and sitting on the hallway floor for a moment. It was nice that he had a free period first, but the nagging feeling of telling everything to this girl was now going to plague him all morning. Normally, he wouldn’t even be at the school yet, and he wasn’t sure whats to do with his free time, so he did what he normally would and waltzed down to the hellfire space. 

The basement was like a safe haven for him. Away from the dumb jocks that lurked in the hallways and away from teachers who asked him too many questions. He was at peace in this space and could busy his mind away from the pretty girl upstairs. 

The rest of the school day felt as if it crawled by, the two of them only getting fleeting moments between classes and a small conversation at lunch as Kayla got questioned by the other members of Eddie’s clubs. It warmed his heart to see how well his friends got along with her and how receptive she was to their questions. It was almost as if she fit right into his world. Even a conversation going over hellfire piqued her interest. 

Finally, when the final bell rang, Eddie jogged out to the parking lot to see Kayla, sitting on the hood of her car, scribbling in her journal just as she had been the first day he asked her out. There was that smile again, creeping it’s way onto his lips. 

“You can do this Munson…” He mumbled, as he walked over to her car, leaning against it and staring up at her through his lashes. “Should I say my line again? It worked out so well for me last week” He joked. 

“Ha ha nice try, I still don’t understand why that was your opening line” Kayla closed her journal, and turned her gaze towards his. “Hey… You have flecks of gold in your eyes” She stated with a smile. 

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat, and suddenly his head felt like it was spinning. There was that magic perfume again. Damn it, why was she so pretty?

Kayla closed her book, and slid from her car, landing a mere inches from where Eddie was leaning. She tilted her head to the side, and he watched her hazel eyes trace over his features. “Hi” 

“Hi..” Eddie sucked in a sharp breath, and reached forward to tuck a piece of her dark hair behind her ear. “I need to tell you something…” 

“Wait, I have questions first” Kayla’s tongue swiped across her bottom lip and she studied him for a second. “The santic club you supposedly run…” 

Eddie snorted and shook his head, “You mean my D&D club you met at lunch?” 

Kayla nodded and breathed a laugh, “Okay… And the breaking and entering at the school…” 

“I barely want to be here when I’m suppose to be, why would I break into the school on my time off?” He questioned. “I was the last one leaving Hellfire that night and Hopper was in a particularly asshole mood” 

“Tell me something about yourself that’s true then…”

“I hate peas” He smirked, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek. 

“No..” Kayla giggled, “Something real”

Eddie moved forward, and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face into the crook of her neck, “You make me hate this town a little less every time you look at me like that” he whispered into her skin.

He felt her arms move up and wrap around his shoulders, her fingertips weaving into his knotted curls. That was the most honest he had been with her, and maybe the most honest he had ever been with himself. This girl had weasled her way into his whole being and Eddie knew he had to do something. Anything. To not lose this. To not lose her. 

“I’ve gotta get to work, Eddie…” She whispered into his hair as her arms loosened. “I’m going to be late, but I’ll take to you tomorrow, okay” 

Kayla pulled back, and as Eddie started to back away, her finger hooked into the guitar pick that hung around his neck, pulling him back to her. She placed a soft kiss on his lips, smiling into it. 

As she moved back once more, Kayla scrunched up her nose, and waved a quick goodbye as she got in her car and drove out of the parking lot. 

“Shit…” Eddie whispered, running his hands into his hair and making his way back to his own van.  

Wednesday.

This time, Eddie took Kayla out to the bleachers to eat lunch just the two of them. Hoping for no distractions in order to tell her everything. It had hit him the day before that the money no longer mattered to him. He cared about this incredible girl sitting, nuzzled up to him and he would do anything he could to protect her. 

Clearing his throat, he looked down at the brunette and tilted his head to the side“So what’s your excuse?”

“For acting the way we do?” Kayla asked, sitting up a little to look at him.

Eddie nodded, and continued playing with her dark waves, weaving the strands together to form a braid mindlessly. 

She took a second to think, looking out over the football field as her bottom lip found a home between her teeth. “I don’t like doing what people expect. People get their expectations up and then you end up disappointing them anyway” She shrugged. 

“So you disappoint them from the start?” He questioned further, brushing her hair over her shoulder and pulling her into his chest once more. 

Kayla nodded, and let out a sigh, “It’s easier that way. Everyone has Chrissy as the perfect one, why would I try to live up to that?” 

“Well, You screwed up then…” He leaned down and spoke quietly against the shell of her ear,  “You never disappointed me” 

A soft smile graced her full pink lips, as she looked over at him. He swivelled his head and captured her lips with his, tasting the orange soda that danced on her tongue. Thoughts of her reaction crept into Eddie’s mind once more and his anxiety made his chest feel tight. Hopefully Chrissy would have the tools to smooth things over after the party. Or maybe she just didn’t need to find out. What had started out as a money-gig, very quickly turned into the greatest thing in Eddie’s life and the idea that it could all end in a second scared him.

When lunch ended, the two of them said their goodbyes and went about the day. Every time he caught a glimpse of her smile in the hallway, the butterflies erupted in his stomach and it felt as though he was floating through the school. 

Just before their last class, Eddie was at his locker, truthfully debating wether he wanted to even go to his last class, when the slamming of his locker brought his attention back to the present. Kayla stood in front of him with a mischievous grin on her lips her free hand tucked firmly behind her back. 

“What are you doing?” He breathed out a laugh, reaching forward and gripping her waist, causing his favourite reaction of her nose scrunching up. 

Sucking in a deep breath, Kayla narrowed her eyes at him, “Do not make this a thing, but I got you something” She bit her bottom lip, and studied his face. “I meant to give it to you at lunch, but we were… a little busy” 

“You got me something?” Eddie questioned, a grin forming on his plump lips. 

“I said don’t make it a thing” She rolled her eyes, and brought her hand from behind her back, pushing a book into Eddie’s chest. “After I read the Hobbit and absolutely loved it, I had this recommended to me, and it was amazing, so… I thought you’d want to read it” She mumbled, biting the inside of her cheek. 

His grin grew wider as he took the paperback from her hand and flipped it over to examine the cover, “The Eye of the World…” He read, as his eyes scanned the art. 

“If you don’t want it, I’ll take it back…” 

“No!” He pulled the book tightly back into his chest, as his eyes shot up to meet hers, “Thank you, this is… pretty amazing” 

Eddie leaned forward and pressed a soft, quick kiss to her lips, “I will read this and report back” 

“Good” She giggled and kissed him again. “I should uh, get ready for class” 

Before she could run off, Eddie caught her hand in his, turning her gaze back to meet his, “Come to Jason’s party with me” 

Kayla narrowed her eyes, a smirk playing at her lips “Was that another command?” 

“No, I just want you there with me” He shrugged.

“You hate these parties,” She questioned further. “what’s in it for you if I go?”

“There’s nothing in it for me” He replied, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Just the pleasure of your company”

Sucking in a deep breath, her eyes flitted behind Eddie and then back to his, “Maybe… I really have to go to class! And you do too, you delinquent” She laughed, “I’ll meet you in the parking lot after.” 

Eddie nodded as he watched her jog down the hallway. When he was sure she was out of sight, he backed himself down the hallway and straight out of the doors. He went and leaned against the side of his van, sticking a cigarette between his lips and lighting it, before taking a long drag. 

There had to be an easy way to explain everything to Kayla. A way that she would understand. It’s not like he was in it for the money anymore anyway. He just wanted her. Chrissy was right, they did seem good for each other but after everything Eddie had done, how could Kayla possibly still care about him? 

He stayed leaned against his van for the remainder of the day, unable to face going back into the school with the questionable looks he got whenever Kayla was around. But his smile grew back once more when he saw her walking through the parking lot towards him. 

“Ok, fine” She called to him, with a huff as she made her way through the bustling students trying to get home. Kayla came to a stop in front of him and crossed her arms over her chest, “Chrissy convinced me to go to this party with you, but…” 

“We can leave whenever you want to. Just say the world, and grab Chrissy and I will take the two of you straight home” He interrupted, placing his hands gently on her biceps and pulling her into him. “I promise” 

Kayla sucked in a deep breath, and nuzzled into his chest, “Fine but I’m not happy about it” She grumbled, biting the inside of her cheek to hide a smile. 

Eddie wrapped his arms tightly around her, and kissed the top of her head, “Of course you’re not, you’re mean and scary” He chuckled, and sighed into her hair. “Kay, There’s something I really need to tell you…”

“Hey!” A small voice squeaked as Chrissy skipped around his van and stopped in front of them, “Sorry to interrupt but Kayla we should get going… You know how my mom is” She hugged her arms tightly around herself, and pressed her lips into a thin line. 

Kayla nodded against Eddie, before standing up straight and kissing his cheek, “We’ll see you tomorrow” 

The two girls wandered off together towards Kayla’s car, leaving Eddie standing by himself once more. Facing the fact that there was never going to be an easy way to tell Kayla anything. He just had to hope that nothing came up before he had the chance to talk to her himself. 

Friday.

The day had arrived that Eddie had been dreading the most. After today, he had to be real and honest with himself about how he felt about Kayla. Even worse, he had to be real and honest with her. Despite the fact that it had only been a week, this girl meant more to him than all the money in the world. He had other ways to make money, but there was no one else like the hazel-eyed, dark-haired girl that plagued his thoughts in the best way. 

There he stood, leaning against the set of lockers, waiting for her to grace the hallways with her presence. It was weird being at school this early, but he couldn’t help the excitement he felt as he flipped the mixtape between his fingers. 

“Eddie Munson!” Kayla gasped dramatically, slapping her hand against her chest. “Are you at school… early?” 

Letting out a laugh, Eddie rolled his eyes and shook his head, “I know I know, it’s a shock to everyone! You should have seen the principal's face when I walked through the door - it was priceless” 

She laughed with him, and stopped, tilting her head to the side, “What are you doing here? You know this is my locker right” 

“Yes I know - I have something for you” He smirked proudly, and held out the tape. 

Kayla narrowed her eyes as she accepted it, and scanned her eyes over the track list he had handwritten for her. He silently prayed that his writing was easy enough to read for her. 

“What is this?” She asked, looking back up at him with a soft smile. 

“This is music” He smirked, tangling his fingers into the ends of her hair. “Since our argument last weekend, I’ve been putting together tracks that I think you might like from my music collection… I mean, it’s no Bryan Adams, but I hope you’ll like it” 

Kayla grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek, “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me” Her bottom lip found a home between her teeth as she locked eyes with him, “I still stand by my side of that argument though” She teased. 

“Yeah, yeah! I wouldn’t expect anything less” He chuckled, as the bell rang. “I’ll pick you and Chrissy up at 8 pm tonight” 

Kayla beamed, “This seems oddly familiar” 

“Mmm but so much better” Eddie shot her a wink and placed a kiss on her lips. “See you later, sweetheart”

Just like the previous Friday, the day seemed to crawl by. The hallways were buzzing with plans and chatters of what was to be expected at the party that evening. It was one of the upsides to Jason’s parents travelling for work once a month. That one weekend had the biggest party in town. 

Eddie’s anxiety was at an all-time high throughout the day, his chest squeezing tight every time he caught a glimpse of Kayla or had her run up to him, just to give him a kiss before jogging off again to class or whatever meeting she had that day. Tonight was the night that had been anticipated for a week now, but the stakes were different. Where it had previously been to just accept the money, now was getting Kayla through this night without hurting her. Which was going to be more difficult than he thought.

At precisely 7:57 pm, Eddie went and knocked on Kayla’s door, fixing his leather jacket as he waited for her and Chrissy to be ready. 

“... yeah, yeah we know mom! We’ll be home by one, I promise!” Kayla rolled her eyes as she opened the door and turned her attention to Eddie. 

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes raked over the stunning girl in front of him. Long fishnetted legs extended from a pair of black converse and tucked under a skirt. She had on a lavender cropped tee, with a small music note embroidered on the front, and her long dark hair was curled, framing her face. 

“Wow… I mean uh, hi” Eddie breathed, shooting his eyes back up to meet hers, hoping she didn’t notice his gaze drifting along her legs. 

A playful grin grew on Kayla’s pink lips, as she reached forward and brushed a curl away from his face, “Hi yourself” She chuckled, “Let’s get this over with…” She sighed, moving forward and interlacing her fingers with his. Chrissy trailed closely behind them. 

“Love the enthusiasm” He grinned at her. 

Eddie opened the van doors for both girls, before jogging around and climbing into the driver seat. Kayla made him play the mix tape he had made for her on the way there and actually got him to sing parts of the songs. He just couldn’t say no to this girl, anything to make her happy tonight and for as long as he could, Eddie was willing to do. 

When the three of them got to the party, it was in full swing. People were everywhere, already with drinks in their hands, and a large bonfire set ablaze in the backyard. Chrissy jumped out of the van and yelled that she would find them later as she jogged over to see the rest of her cheer squad. 

Both Eddie and Kayld climbed out of the van, walking around to meet each other at the front of it as they stared at the house. He knew he was also out of his element here, but knowing that she was here with him made this experience almost fun. 

Eddie slid his hand into hers, interlacing their fingers and giving it a small squeeze. “Wanna get a drink?” 

“God yes. A large one if we are going to deal with this” Her eyebrows furrowed together as she watched the chaos around them. 

“As you wish, m’lady” He spoke in a terrible British accent, pulling a laugh from Kayla’s lips as they moved towards the house. 

Throughout the night, the drinks got stronger and the music got louder. Kayla managed to get Eddie to dance with her and she, again, actually got him to sing. It wasn’t a talent that Eddie was shy of, but singing at the Hideout was way different than singing for the people at school he had to see every day. 

“Don’t you have a cult to run?” Kayla joked at him. 

“Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?” Eddie laughed.

She laughed with him and threw her arms around his neck. Her face softened as her eyes traced his features, “I don’t hate you…” 

Eddie sucked in a deep breath, as he looked at the girl in his arms. They had both had a couple of drinks, but not enough that he thought she would forget everything in the morning. Maybe this was the moment to come clean. The alcohol coursing through his system made truth-telling seem a lot easier and…

"Hey man, thanks again! Getting you to ask out Kayla was the best money I ever spent!” The man slurred, as he pushed some bills into Eddie’s pocket, breaking him from his thoughts, “That’s an extra $25 for all the extra effort! You know, making it a show at school and everything" 

And just like that. In a snap, he was stone-cold sober, as he turned back to look at Kayla. 

“Nothing in it for you, huh?” Kayla scoffed and pushed his arms off her as she turned on her heel and walked away. 

“Kay, please! Just let me explain!” Eddie begged, as he quickly moved to go after her. 

Kayla shook her head, and hugged her arms tightly around herself, as she kept walking. 

“Will you wait! Please! Just let me…” 

“How much did you get?” She spun around and stared at him. “Hm? How much was a date with me worth? Tell me, Eddie, I want to know” 

“Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? I don’t care about the money!” He explained. “Kay, I ca-...”

“Dont. You don’t get to call me that” Her eyes welled up, as she backed away from him ”You are so not who I thought you were”

“Kayla please…” Eddie pleaded. 

But without another word, Kayla ran off. Chrissy followed right behind her. 

Eddie wanted to be mad at the drunken idiot that had ruined everything for him, but he knew in his own mind that he had no one to blame but himself. He more than enough chances to come clean and give the money back, to keep Kayla all for himself. He silently prayed that Chrissy would be able to talk to her. Get her to see that it wasn’t all him. But he knew her forgiveness wouldn’t come easily. 

[ocean-anchored]

Dear future self... March 21, 2023

I’m late I know. I wasn’t feeling it last sunday as I felt like I wasn’t in the best head space and as the week went on I figured I’d just wait till sunday again which ended up being so busy. Where to start. Back to Dillon being the asshole he is. It’s really unfortunate. I can’t remember when it was that we had a call where he raised his voice and told me to go cry a fucking river when I said how disrespectful it was leaving us high and dry March after ALL the things I’ve done for him. Haven’t really talked to him since. He did pay February finally but that whole friendship is over and I may never see or talk to him again so who cares. Sadly not loosing much there.  On the friday two weeks ago I was cleaning up contacts in my phone (was clearly bored at work) and came across Mitch. He’s been on my mind for a long time. I just felt really bad about how I ended everything and how I kind of just cut things off cold so I wrote an apology text just to tell him that I didn’t mean to hurt him. In no way, shape or form did I intend it to be as a “let’s try again” type of thing and that (on top of Dillon’s shit) is why I wasn’t in the best headspace. Hanging out escalated to a point that I felt a lot of shame the next day. I’m still trying to deal with that and back off as I don’t have any intention of dating or a relationship. I truly am happy being single and keeping to myself this year and I worry about hurting him again and him taking things the wrong way. I stepped out of my comfort zone again that week and went to a church group where I didn’t know anyone. Divine from church had joined me into this group and they had a gathering that again I had no idea who or what it was about but I showed up and it ended up really great. Met Eryn which was really nice who goes to Redemption as well and it was nice to just be around Christians. The night was around the Navigators and discipleship. Something I’m still so shy about but it was a good experience and I’m proud I went.  Last week was pretty good. Finally bought Ed Sheeran tickets, just about cried. Going to see him in September with Dustin in Vancouver and I literally cannot wait. I’ve waited far too long for this and really look forward to this most.

Thursday I went to Nose Hill with Amber and her bf with all our dogs for a walk in the afternoon which was so nice. I really love the flexibility I have and still catch myself feeling like I’m taking things for granted and I’m not doing enough but lunch with Ed cleared that - will get to that. I went for dinner later that day with Kamber another girl I met on Bumble BFF and it’s been nice chatting with her as well. We have so much in common. Sometimes I feel like I talk to much with her and sometimes I feel like I’m always looking for another topic to talk about but our conversation is genuine and it’s refreshing. She’s super sweet and down to earth. Friday I “took the day off” from YCH technically since I don’t work Friday’s with Ed. Went for sushi and that was really great. Just more solidifying that we’re a great team and we’re both happy with how things are going and the work progressing. I know he appreciates me and it was nice to just clear some work things up but also be able to chat about so many other channels and things. I’m really so blessed to be working with him. He said at the end that he hopes that I do work for him for the rest of our lives which really is my goal. It was from this lunch with Ed that my weekend ended up being nonstop with barley a minute to myself. Mitch came over to watch movies friday night which was alright. Got up early and went to Lake Louise and Lake MInewanka with mom Saturday for the whole day. It was a really great day, absolutely beautiful out. Such a perfect day (we always seem to get those when we go out together). Came back in the evening and went to chat with Mel. It was a good, needed talk. We challenged each other with the little fit we had the week before and how I’ve felt like she hasn’t been part or contributed to our relationship but she’s explained how sick she’s been and stressed and we had a good cry and we talked it through. Really healthy. I appreciate that she takes the initiative to chat to sort things out and we’re re-learning communication with each other in a healthy way. Nova was so patient in the car that we went to Currie Barracks after to walk the park where they set up lanterns and lights everywhere, it was nice but getting home at 9:30PM was exhausting.  Sunday went to church which was as always, great. Helped mom with her zoom set up and took Nova out when I got home. Steven came over right away and we gamed for a bit and watched the Office. It was good, nice to also spend time with him personally but I do love Amanda. Been building my own relationship with her which has been really great.  Anyways that’s a basic catch up. It’s been super super busy and I’m peopled out. I’m going to try to focus this week on chilling and recouping as its Amber’s Birthday on Thursday and I’m taking a couple of us to the Flames game which I’m really excited for. All is well. I’m still super happy all around. This year seems to just keep getting better and I have so many things to look forward to this year. 

[callivich]

Hello everyone! @arrowflier and I are embarking on a fun little challenge together to write a fic! This will be a very casual back and forth story - we don’t have any set deadlines or a specific outline of where this will go. We’re just gonna write and see what happens! I’m starting us off and Arrow will write the next part, we won’t know what the other one is going to write so it’ll be a surprise each time. We hope you enjoy! 💖

Mickey yawned and blinked slowly, the sun was streaming through the crack in the curtains but it didn’t bother him. It was Saturday - the start of the weekend, two days of doing fuck all. That meant some leisurely morning sex where they could take their time with soft kisses and slow caresses, followed by breakfast that they would cook together. They might go for a swim if it was warm enough, splashing each other and fooling around, or just hang out on their little balcony, smoking and shooting the shit. The evenings were for more playful sex, takeout from one of their favourite restaurants - of which they now had many - in front of a movie or whatever tv show they were bingeing, and then falling asleep happy in their stupid-ass cloud bed that Mickey had to admit was worth every penny.

But as he turned over, stretching sleepily on the smooth, clean sheets that smelled of ‘spring awakening’ whatever the fuck that meant, he didn’t see his shirtless husband smiling back at him. Only an empty space where Ian should have been. Mickey huffed, annoyed, and wondered where Ian had gone. Although he always woke up before Mickey, Ian always waited in bed for him to wake up on the weekends. Always. It was their thing, their tradition, a habit they had fallen into since moving into their apartment. They always spent Saturday and Sunday mornings in bed together.

Apparently not today though. Mickey hauled himself out of bed, threw on some clean boxers, and followed the smell of fresh coffee to find his husband in the living room. Ian looked….nervous? He was sitting at their little dining table with it’s one wobbly leg that they had shoved a takeout menu under to keep it stable, two fingers playing with his wedding ring. In the centre of the table was two cups of coffee, a box of donuts, and…a piece of paper? In his still half-asleep state, he only glanced at the paper but his gaze immediately zeroed in on one word - ‘lease’. Lease? What….Oh. Right. The apartment lease. He’d forgotten all about that. He slipped into the chair next to Ian, taking a drink from the closest mug, realising exactly where this conversation was going to go. Had it really been almost a year already? Didn’t seem like it. As much has Mickey bitched about the West Side, which was a lot, he had gotten used to it and so it did feel a bit strange to think that potentially they might not be here for much longer.

“We need to talk.” Ian placed the paper in between them and Mickey wanted to laugh at how fuckin’ formal Ian was being. He was so dramatic sometimes but Mickey loved it. If he had to guess, this was some leftover guilt about the signing of the lease. They’d talked about it and they’d moved past it but apparently Ian wanted to make sure that it was obvious they were doing this together this time around. Still, he didn’t like seeing Ian all worried about this so he tried to lighten the mood.

“A talk, huh?” He gave Ian’s feet a soft kick under the table and smirked at him. “Couldn’t this have waited until after we fucked?”

Ian laughed, the tension leaving his body, “What, you can’t have a conversation without dick first?”

“Exactly. You know I’m not a morning person, gotta have my coffee and my morning bang before we start having talks.”

Ian rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. “Got you your favourites.” He pushed the box of donuts towards Mickey who immediately reached for a chocolate one. And while it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to wake up to, Mickey decided, as he took the first bite of the still-warm dough, that it was still pretty good.

“So.” Ian leaned across to wipe a small streak of sugar off Mickey’s cheek. “We’ve got exactly two months left before the lease is up. What do you want to do?”

[skzsauce01]

Bird Is the Word

Synopsis: A series of drunk texts leads to one of the best and worst things that has ever happened to you. Or, Han Jisung is never going to let you forget the time you forgot the word ‘bird.’ College AU. Not a text fic but does include some texts.

Warning: alcohol, a lot of bird puns

Word Count: 8.1k

Pairing: fem!reader x Han Jisung

2:23 AM [Me]: sOS SOS SOS SOSOSOS 2:23 AM [Me]: I NEED HELPPPP 2:23 AM [Jisung Bio]: You okay?? 2:23 AM [Me]: YOU SMART HELPPPPP

2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Do you want me to call the police?? 2:24 AM [Me]: WHAT ARE THE FLUFFY ANIMALS THAT GO FLAP CALLED 2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Is this a code word? 2:24 AM [Me]: THEY GO FLAP AND EAT SEEDS 2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Do you mean birds? 2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Are you drunk?

2:25 AM [Me]: [blurry_photo_of_your_window.jpg] 2:25 AM [Me]: HERE LOOK 2:25 AM [Me]: YES BIRDS 2:25 AM [Me]: THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH 2:25 AM [Me]: LOVE YOUUUUU

In your defense, you were drunk. And when you are drunk, your critical thinking skills disappear and are replaced by pure, uninhibited stupidity. It’s like some twisted Jekyll and Hyde situation, but only when you drink, you transform into this other version of yourself instead of suppressing it.

You mostly remember the things you have done and said while under the influence. The most embarrassing ones tend to be fuzzy. If it weren’t for the grainy phone video taken by Seungmin and your own voice cheerfully declaring that you had an idea, you wouldn’t have realized that you were the idiot who tried to make a chalk mural at the four-way intersection in the middle of the night. You didn’t even have chalk, but that didn’t stop you from drawing on the asphalt with a broken pen you found on the sidewalk.

Good thing Seungmin had the foresight to drag you back to the crosswalk before a car could come speeding by.

However, that legendary act of idiocy doesn’t even compare to this new one. Forget the fact that you could have died.

Your biology class just went over survival of the fittest using Darwin’s finches as an example. How in the world did you forget about the word ‘bird?’ Why did you think it was a good idea to ask the cute guy in your bio study group about “THE FLUFFY ANIMALS THAT GO FLAP?” And why, why, why did you insist on telling him that you loved him? The ‘THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH’ was already enough.

Jisung is never going to let you live this down.

It’s fine. You’re fine. It’s not like you spent the entire Sunday morning knocking back glasses of water and wishing it was vodka instead. It’s not like you drafted about five different apology messages and deleted them all. It’s not like you have to see him in class tomorrow.

Really, you’re fine.

You go out of your way to make yourself as inconspicuous as possible, which probably means you are very conspicuous. Do normal people not wear hoodies and sweatpants to class now, or are you just overthinking everything? The two people in the row in front of you are wearing jeans, and the girl heading down your row has a polka-dotted dress on. A secondary glance at the girl tells you that it’s another member of your study group. Speaking of the study group, maybe you should find another one. Preferably one without Jisung in it.

“Morning,” Lia says as she takes the seat beside you. She sets down her purple water bottle on the floor with a light clink. “How was your weekend?”

Terrible, but you say, “It was fine. I finished up the readings and did some notes. How about you?”

“Those readings took me forever!” she groans. “I was trying to finish everything on Saturday, so I could go out on Sunday. Which I did manage to do, so it all worked out. I got a new dress!” She plucks at the bodice of her dress, and you finally take a closer look at the pattern.

They’re not polka dots. They’re freaking birds — swoopy doves with outstretched wings. Or at least you think they’re doves. Your lack of bird knowledge speaks for itself.

“It’s pretty,” you hollowly say. The universe seems determined to remind you of your texts. Lia’s face falters, and you realize your disdain came across as you lying. “No, it’s not like that! Just… bad experiences with birds. You look really nice in this.”

She brightens up. “Oh, thanks! What do you mean by ‘bad experiences?’ What happened?”

“Good morning, birdbrain!”

“That happened.”

Looking far too happy for a Monday morning, Jisung takes the other seat beside you. He has a cup of coffee stacked high with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle, and you wonder if his extreme cheerfulness is from the caffeine or from your impending public humiliation. Why did you have to pick this guy to have a crush on? Sure, he’s cute and smart and sometimes nice, but there are plenty of people who have those traits without his witticism.

Lia looks at you with more amusement than concern. “So what happened?”

You tell her about what really happened during the weekend, and Jisung laughs all the while, reenacting his facial expression when he received your first frantic SOS message. Meanwhile, you sink lower and lower into your chair, ignoring your tailbone’s cries of pain as you slide further down the thin cushion.

“You can’t hide forever,” Jisung remarks as he looks at your slumping form. “C’mon, it wasn’t that bad. And you were drunk anyway.”

Yeah, you were, but the whole thing is doubly embarrassing because of how much you want him to like you. The overenthusiastic, all-caps messages are normal whenever you text while drunk, but ‘I love yous’ and the even rarer ‘I LOVE YOUUUU’  are few and far between. Only six people excluding Jisung have received them: your parents, your best friend, and your statistics group project members because you accidentally sent the message to the wrong chat.

On the bright side, seven is a lucky number. It means absolutely nothing in this case, and it’s hardly relevant to how you’re feeling, but everyone copes differently. Yours just happens to be clinging onto any silver lining available for solace.

“Anyway,” Lia cuts in, saving you from replying, “you’re here early, Jisung.”

He shrugs and flashes her a playful smile. However, his eyes are focused on you when he says, “You know what they say: early bird gets the worm.”

You give him a pitiful attempt of a withering glare. “I hate you.”

“Okay, fine.” He tugs at the shoulder of your hoodie to motion for you to stop trying to melt into the ground and to help you up. “It’s ‘cause I knew you would be here early.”

You are calm, you are fine, you will not be flustered. He just teased you five seconds ago; you should not be this willing to forgive him under these circumstances. Nonetheless, you slide back up to a more normal sitting position and try to pretend that you are still mildly upset. His next sentences make that impossible.

“You guys want brownies? Felix was stress-baking again.”

One may call you easily swayed by food, and they would be right. Jisung lets you have a coveted corner piece, and you decide that he’s alright again. He stretches an arm in front of you to get to Lia, and you lean back to avoid bumping into him. It also gives you a clear view of his profile. Wow, is he pretty. Look at that jawline. Suddenly his eyes go wide, and his mouth splits into a familiar excited grin.

“Are those birds?”

“Yep,” Lia answers, looking over at you to check your reaction. She tries to hide her smile, but it’s clear as day. You’re not entirely sure what she’s going to say next, but you already know it’s going to involve your current least favorite animal species. “Pretty… dove-ly, don’t you think?”

At least you were right about them being doves. “I hate you both.”

Jisung laughs at her pun and holds out his palm for a high-five. “You know what they say: birds of a feather flock together.”

“I really hate you both.”

Your initial prediction that Jisung is never going to let you live this down is correct. When you meet your bio group again Thursday night to study for the upcoming quiz, Jisung brings lemon poppy seed muffins for seemingly no other reason than to tease you. His housemate is still stress-baking, and judging by the bird silhouette made of glaze, Felix is very stressed and very eager to indulge in Jisung’s ideas.

“They’re finches!” Jisung proudly announces as he sets one right in front of you. The stupid decoration on top mocks you, but the muffin looks and smells delicious.  

Hyunjin, who does not know about your current plight but does know about Darwin’s finches, appreciatively coos at them. “They’ve even got different beak shapes! These are so cool. Man, Felix must hate econ right now.”

“No kidding,” you mutter as you begin peeling off the wrapper. Felix must hate you as well because one bite of this is almost enough for you to forgive Jisung again. It’s that good. How are you supposed to stay mad at Jisung when he gives you free delicious food? “Forget college, he needs to be in culinary school.”

He smirks from across the table, and it takes a lot of willpower for you to pretend you’re unphased. “What if I told you that I made these?”

“Then I would call you a liar.” He better be lying. You do not need another reason to justify your crush on him.

“And you would be right.” He slides his plastic container down to Lia, who has just arrived and is eyeballing the muffins like a predator. “But I did help him.”

“It’s really good,” you admit. You continue nibbling on it, determined to make the muffin last as long as you can. “What part did you help him out with?”

“The birds on top. Turns out drawing them with runny glaze is hard. I gave you the prettiest one, so don’t get mad about the whole bird thing. It goes with what we’re studying too.”

“Fine,” you sigh as you fold the wrapper into halves over and over again. “But only because these are amazing.”

Hyunjin leans in closer, effectively popping the intimate bubble you and Jisung were in. “What’s ‘the bird thing?’”

Fortunately, Yeji has finally arrived, which gives you the perfect excuse to stop Jisung from letting another person know of your drunk texts. You make a big production of pulling out your notebook from your backpack and rifling through your pencil bag for a pen.

“Should we get started?” you ask. Lia nods and uncaps one of her many highlighters.

“I’ll tell you later,” Jisung whispers to Hyunjin, winking at you. You could cry, melt, die. You could do a lot of things, but you opt to stick your tongue out at him. So what if you’re being childish? You can barely concentrate on the real world after that wink. To Yeji, he says, “There’s snacks, if Lia hasn’t eaten them all yet.”

“Hey!”

Hyunjin laughs at her notorious sweet tooth before turning to Yeji. “He gave Y/N the prettiest one, so there’s probably only his fails left.”

“They’re not bad!”

Lia has only had two, so there are more than enough to choose from. Yeji peers inside the container before selecting the one closest to her.

“Is this a plague doctor?” she asks as she suppresses a laugh. “It’s got a top hat.”

Jisung shakes his head and groans. “You chose the worst one on purpose. It’s one of Darwin’s finches. You would have known if you studied.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t draw.” Taking no notice of Jisung’s affronted expression, she takes out the textbook the five of you split the cost to buy. “Okay, plague doctor cupcakes out of the way, what are the four main theories of evolution?”

“They’re lemon poppy seed finch muffins,” he clarifies.

“That’s not an evolution theory,” Hyunjin cheekily replies, earning him an elbow nudge from Jisung and a laugh from everyone else.

You end up answering Yeji’s question and reward your correct answer with another muffin. Besides them being addictive, you’ll need some energy for the rest of the study session if all this talk about birds persists. You select the most plague doctor-ish one out of the box, and Jisung notices.

“Seriously?” he pouts. “I give you the best one, and this is how you repay me? I thought you said you weren’t mad about the bird thing.”

You ignore the last sentence. “What? You’re not proud of these?” you say, mock astonished as you give him a good view of the glaze on top. “They look exactly like plague doctors.”

“I hate you.”

You smile and shrug before returning back into the discussion about Lamarckism. Let him get a taste of his own medicine.

Unfortunately, as promised and as possible revenge, Jisung tells Hyunjin about ‘the bird thing,’ and Yeji overhears since she is only two chairs away. You try melting into the ground instead, but Lia holds you in place as the story continues, so you are stuck reliving the memory. You knew Jisung wouldn’t let you forget, but you didn’t account for everyone else in the group finding out and joining in on the torture.

But thanks to Jisung’s brilliant idea to bring those spectacularly decorated muffins, he doesn’t go unscathed either. It’s a mediocre consolation prize, but you’ll take it.

All around, it’s a productive study session, if a bit long, courtesy of everyone’s unrelenting shots at you and Jisung.

Your study group splits off in three separate directions once you’re all at the library entrance: Yeji back to the on-campus dorms where she’s an RA, Hyunjin and Lia to the off-campus apartments a few streets down, you and Jisung to the bus stop to your apartments on the other of campus. There’s a few people already sitting at the bench, so you and Jisung stand under the streetlight nearby. A moth intent on reaching the light source rams itself repeatedly against the glass covering, and you tiredly watch it. You yawn.

“Not much of a night owl?” he asks. With no clever reply ready, you gently shove him towards the bushes, but he only sways at your push. He throws his hands up in surrender. “Alright, I’ll stop for today.”

“I’m really sorry for sending you that,” you say. You haven’t touched the chat between you and him since the incident. “And for not apologizing earlier.”

“It’s alright. Although I almost had a heart attack when you sent me ‘SOS’ like five times.”

You grimace as you remember your frantic texts. If you think back hard enough, you remember furiously tapping at your screen, trying to get his attention as quick as possible because you really, really, really needed to know what the animal that landed on your windowsill was called. Your housemate was in the next room over. You could have asked her instead, but no, you decided that Jisung from bio was the best option. Not even the group chat, just Jisung himself.

“Sorry again,” you weakly reply.

“It really is alright. Finding bird puns is my new favorite hobby now.” He wryly smiles. “I have so many more to try on you. You’re gonna love it.”

Is that endearing or annoying? Living rent-free inside his head isn’t terrible, especially since he seems to do the same in yours. You’ll probably have to endure lots more puns from him in the future, but for now, you’ll decide that it’s endearing.

The bus arrives, and you sit in the back with him. The ride to the apartment complex is quiet; only a group of people near the front are speaking to one another in low voices. Jisung makes no attempt at continuing the conversation, and you are content to stare out into the neon lights outside the window. You can see him in the reflection on the glass. The empty container devoid of muffins sits on Jisung’s lap, his phone placed face down on the lid. If it weren’t for all the other passengers on the bus, you would be convinced that it was just you and him, enjoying each other’s company.

You’re almost sad when you reach your stop.

“Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?” he asks as you step down to the pavement. “Yours is farther down, right?”

“Isn’t your place right here?” you say. You’ve seen him walk out from this particular complex several times while waiting for the bus. That’s not stalking. “You don’t have to go out of your way. It’s just a block away.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely walking you home.”

You hesitate a bit, but Jisung is already taking small steps in the direction of your apartment. A little more time with him doesn’t sound too horrendous right now. “Okay.”

Just like the bus ride, no conversation, which suits you fine. Jisung seems more enthralled by looking into the windows of apartment residents anyway. You can’t blame him, especially when it appears that someone is having their own mini rave in their living room. Once at the doors to your building, you thank him and tell him good night.

“No problem and good luck tomorrow.” His voice is softer at night, or maybe it’s because he’s tired as well.

Your tone matches his as well. “You too. See you in class then.”

“Good night.”

A few minutes after midnight, just as you’re about to get into bed, a message from Jisung pops up. Not Jisung in the study group, just Jisung.

12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: Hey, I know you’re not much of a night owl, so would you call yourself a morning lark? 12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: You’re always an early bird to class 12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: Are you emu-sed? 12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: :D

Well, he did say he would stop for the day. It’s technically the next day. You reply with an annoyed face before burrowing yourself under your blankets. There are other things to worry about, such as your quiz in nine hours.

You dream of birds, namely finches, that night. Thanks, Jisung.

“This is why I tell you to never drink alone,” Seungmin laughs. He picks up the last slice of pizza from the pan and folds it in half like the heathen he is before taking the first bite. “Bad things always happen.”

“To be fair, Ryujin was home.”

“In a completely different room from you.”

You groan and supplement your exasperation with an extra aggressive tear on your crust. “Okay, fine. I’ve learned my lesson. The point is, he won’t stop with the bird jokes, and I’m going insane.”

Seungmin, having been collateral damage from your drunken mishaps before, is unsympathetic. He still hasn’t quite forgiven you for the time you tried to make a Molotov cocktail in his kitchen. Look, the clickbait video you watched online promised that it would be a fun and easy science experiment, and your other self decided that it was a fantastic idea. Nothing bad happened in the end though since you couldn’t find a lighter. So, Seungmin, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

“You have a crush on this guy. Why are you upset that he’s flirting with you?”

“He’s cute until he opens his mouth and starts giving me grief about birds.” You sigh as you remember the last text he sent: a photo of the sunset from his apartment window with the caption, A bird’s eye view of the neighborhood. On one hand, you were thrilled to have received a non-homework related picture. On the other hand, bird joke.

“You would do the same.”

“I know, but it still sucks.” You wipe your fingers with a napkin and amuse yourself with spinning the empty pan as Seungmin (slowly) finishes eating. “No more Jisung talk. How was your date?”

Seungmin turns flustered, just like you knew he would. “It wasn’t a date! I’m just her photographer. This is a business arrangement, nothing else.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say.”

“Hey, is that Jisung over there?” he asks, nodding over your shoulder.

“I’m not that gullible,” you sigh, though you can’t say you aren’t tempted. Seungmin loves to make fun of you, and he probably wants to get back at you for teasing him about the girl he’s been spending a suspicious amount of time with.

“Gull-ible?”

“Not you too," you plead. It's already awful with one person. To deter him any further, you continue, "Anyway, back to your definitely-not-a-date date—”

“Hey, Y/N, is that you?”

Seungmin has his “I told you so” face on. After sending him a glare, which he promptly pretends not to see, you turn around, resting your forearm on the back of your chair. Jisung, holding a pan of oven-fresh pizza, smiles back at you.

“Hey,” you greet. He's wearing the same black and red sweatshirt he usually has on, but why does he look so much better in it when he's in a pizza place than in class or in the library? “How are you doing? How’s your Saturday so far?”

“I just woke up like an hour ago, so it’s been pretty good, I guess.” His eyes go to Seungmin, who is now sipping on his soda, pretending to not eavesdrop. “Is this your…”

“This is my friend, Seungmin,” you quickly answer. Other than the fact that you need to make it abundantly clear that you are available, there is no way you’re ever going to date Seungmin. Apart from the girl he claims to not be dating, he’s even more merciless when it comes to reminding you about your drunken ideas. You can’t pass the intersection without him nudging your arm. “Seungmin, this is Jisung. We have bio together.”

Seungmin nods like he hasn’t heard of Jisung before. “Hey, nice to meet you. So, do you guys learn about birds in bio?”

Jisung lights up like a Christmas tree, and you want to cover yourself with the pizza pan. Praying for the ground to swallow you up also sounds like a decent option. In the midst of debating whether hiding under the table would be too odd, you notice that Seungmin has finally finished his slice.

“We should get going,” you interrupt. You do not need Seungmin to start sharing other stupid things you’ve done. He’s about five seconds away from telling Jisung about the intersection chalk mural. “And you probably want to eat dinner.”

Jisung sees right through your act, but he lets it go. “Yeah, Felix is probably starving. See you on Monday?”

“Yeah, see you.”

You expect him to go to wherever Felix is, but he still remains behind you. With a lopsided grin, he asks, “Should I expect any quail-ity texts at 2 AM tonight?”

Seungmin laughs, Jisung laughs, and you stare at the ceiling, wondering what you did to deserve this. Surely there were other people you could have in your life besides these two jerks.

“Winner, winner, chicken dinner!” Jisung sings as you correctly answer his question. This week’s study session consists of a game show Jisung has created, and you almost want to believe that he put in all this effort just to say that phrase. “Another point for you.”

You sigh as Yeji slides a wrapped piece of candy towards you. It’s her turn to bring snacks, and though milk chocolate the size of golf balls are great, you’re still dreaming of those wickedly delicious cake slices Jisung shared with you yesterday. Hummingbird cake, he claimed, it was called. Bananas, pineapples, and pecans, all combined together to make a sweet treat. When you cheekily asked why his housemate was so stressed all the time — you really don’t mind. Sorry, Felix — Jisung cheerfully informed you that he made the entire thing himself. After you picked up your jaw from the floor, you stammered something about it being passable. Not nearly as good as Felix’s stuff, you said, lying through your teeth. Jisung, again, saw right through it but let it slide. See? Sometimes he’s nice. However, you did not need another reason to be attracted to Han Jisung, but here you are.

“Seriously, Yeji?” you mumble as you pull apart the blue foil. “You just had to pick the brand named after a bird?” It doesn’t stop you from popping the chocolate into your mouth though.

“They were on sale!”

While you and Yeji bicker about Dove chocolate and how the universe is conspiring against you, Hyunjin answers the next question correctly. Yeji absentmindedly pushes his reward towards him.

“No chicken dinner for me?” he asks.

Jisung shakes his head. “Your question was easy. You get a pheasant instead. Or a quail. Any bird smaller than a chicken works.”

“A hummingbird then?” you suggest. You really need to stop thinking about that cake. “But I hear those aren’t that great.”

“You already ate every single crumb of that cake I gave you!” Jisung says, but there’s not a drop of displeasure in his tone. In fact, he seems rather happy that you liked it so much that you remembered about it. “All my hard work gone in five seconds.”

“You made her a cake?” Lia gasps in disbelief, secretive note checking forgotten. She’s in last place with only six points, so no one cares too much about her cheating. “What about us? We’re your study buddies too!”

Hyunjin and Yeji chorus their agreements, and you realize that he only shared his cake with you. He followed you out of the lecture hall and gave it to you in a plastic container, so you assumed that he also hand delivered a few slices to everyone else. Never mind that he oh-so-conveniently had a fork with him. Never mind that he sat with you at a bench and watched you try a few bites before devouring it all. Never mind all that.

Wait. Does this mean he likes you too?

You fold and unfold your discarded foil wrappers as you contemplate over this revelation, sneaking glances at Jisung all the while. He looks… normal. Infuriatingly so. Same carefree smile, same arguments with Hyunjin, same lackadaisical chair leaning even though he fell backwards that one time. How is one supposed to tell if someone actually likes you when said someone is the same all the time?

Jisung promises to bring something for the next study session to make up for not sharing his cake and continues on with the review game like nothing has happened. However, those thoughts are still in the back of your mind when the session ends. You have gained five more pieces of chocolate and no further information as to whether Jisung is actually into you or not. As per usual, you and he head to the bus stop together. It’s more crowded than last week since it’s only eight.

“Did you have a pheasant time today?” he asks, pausing next to a hedge.

You keep your eyes on the asphalt instead of looking at him. It’s much easier to pretend you’re calm when you don’t have vision of his face. “I see you discovered pheasants recently. And yes, it was fun. Thanks for making it.”

“You don’t want to crow about winning the game?” When you grimace — you did kind of want to point out how amazing your score was but now you don’t — he quickly adds, “Okay, okay. But you’re going to ace that quiz tomorrow.”

And you simply say, “I know,” because you are and because you have nothing else prepared to say.

It goes quiet, and with only the sounds of cars racing by, Jisung abruptly says, “This is a little awkward now. Or should I say… hawk-ward?”

You groan and break your staring contest with the road to give him an exasperated look. A mistake because he’s smiling so wide, squirrels would be jealous of his cheeks. He has no right to be so cute after those jokes. “Why do I feel like you searched up ‘bird puns’ online and are trying to insert them in every possible scenario?”

“Because I did and because I am.” He sighs in contentment. “Those were the best texts I’ve ever received. I’m never letting you forget it.”

You were right about that, and now you have verbal confirmation from the man himself. Another mediocre consolation prize you will gladly accept. But for now, you say, “Well, toucan play at that game, plague doctor Han Jisung.” The only perk of hearing all these wretched jokes is that you are now rather knowledgeable about them. Thank you, Seungmin, for making that one a few days ago.

“They looked just like finches!” he protests, but he’s laughing along, head tilted back. He sighs again. When he turns to face you again, his eyes are soft. “That was a pretty good one.”

“Seungmin came up with it.” There’s a warm feeling spreading across your chest, constricting your air flow and making all your blood rush to your cheeks. It was one compliment; why are you like this? What are you going to do if he keeps looking at you like that? You swiftly go back to the road, counting the number of cars that pass by. One, two, three, four…

And a gray bus pulling up to the curb.

“Bus is here,” you uselessly announce. Jisung follows you into the growing crowd surrounding the entrance. He hovers behind you as the two of you wait for the people in front to board, and his presence is more palpable than usual. “There’s a lot of people today,” you remark in a vain attempt to distract yourself.

“Yeah, everyone’s heading home for the day.” He pauses dramatically before adding, “The birds are all going back to their nest.”

The joke successfully snaps you out of your haze. “That’s not a real saying.”

“I think it should be. It makes perfect sense!”

“You’re—” As the line shuffles forward, you try to think of something bird related, but he beats to the punch.

“Cuckoo?”

It’s almost impressive how much time he has invested in annoying you. Does it make you fall for him more? No, not really, or so you try to convince yourself. It’s strangely endearing, just like everything about him. You merely answer, “Yes.”

He chuckles and nudges you forward up the steps of the bus.

Even though there’s a little bit of daylight left, Jisung walks you back to your apartment building. You’re not upset by this, but where was this chivalry two weeks ago after the first study session? You teasingly ask him about it, and he turns bashful. How unlike him.

“I thought you lived in my complex, for some reason. You were always at the bus stop before me, so I assumed you lived nearby. I didn’t know until I overheard you and Yeji talking about it,” he says, hiding himself with his collar.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” you say, stopping in front of the walkway to your building, “see you tomorrow then. Thanks for walking me back. Good night.”

The Jisung you’re used to seeing, is back with a mischievous smile and yet another joke. “Good night-ingale.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and try not to seem too amused by it. He’s not charming, not even a little bit. “That was awful.” It’s the smile, you tell yourself. No one should have one like that. It has too much power.

“Yet I can see you smiling at it.”

Remain calm. You can do that. You’ve faked this before, so why is your head not cooperating right now? Jisung really needs to stop looking at you with anything more than a neutral face. It’s bad for you, like really, really bad. No witty remarks at the ready is typical, but you can’t even think of anything to say.

After an excruciating five seconds, you manage to stammer out, “Good night.” Cheeks aflame and your heart threatening to pop out of you like a cuckoo clock, you roughly yank open the door and bolt up the stairs. You have too much adrenaline in you right now. Waiting for the elevator knowing that he could be observing your twitchy movements, would be too nerve wracking.

Ryujin asks if you’re alright when she sees you hunched against the kitchen counter, out of breath and muttering to yourself.

“I decided to take the stairs,” you say, which only partially explains your dishevelled state. “I’ll be alright. I think.”

“I’ll get you some water. You look like you're about to collapse.”

Then your phone chimes with a new message, and you decidedly won’t be alright.

8:22 PM [Jisung Bio]: Did my nightingale pun quack you up that badly? 8:22 PM [Jisung Bio]: Was it that ducking good? 8:22 PM [Jisung Bio]: :D

8:23 PM [Jisung Bio]: Anyway, good luck tomorrow. Sleep well and sweet dreams, morning lark

There is no food in the fridge. Well, no proper food. A bag of spinach that expired three days ago but still seems okay, does not count. The same goes for the half empty jar of peanut butter, but Ryujin would likely disagree with that. There’s a reason why the jar is half empty. However, if you actually want to eat something for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow, you need to go shopping.

For some strange reason, it does not occur to you that you can run into Jisung at the grocery store. Jisung belongs in four locations: the bus stop, the lecture hall, the library, and the pizza place you saw him at last week. Not the dairy aisle on a Wednesday night.

“Hey.” You stop in front of him, basket at your feet and hands folded in front of you like the world’s worst defense. Heart, stop beating so fast.

Jisung looks up from his phone to search for the owner of the voice and brightens when he sees that it’s you. “Hey, morning lark.” He has taken to calling you that ever since he sent that particular message. You wish it produced another reaction from you besides pure bliss, but that is the price you pay for pretending to be still annoyed by his jokes. That’s how bad your crush on him now is; you are increasingly beguiled by the puns. “Oh, did you need milk?”

“Yeah.” You grab a blue carton with a picture of a smiling cow from the shelf and place it in your basket. In the meantime, you can’t help but peer into Jisung’s. There is a bag of chocolate chips and a packet of gelatin. “Is this stuff for tomorrow’s study session?”

He nods and grabs the same brand of milk as you did. You get a rush of excitement, much to your chagrin. It’s just milk, and this is the most popular brand too. “Yeah. Felix is trying a new recipe, so you guys get to have some of the failed ones too.”

“What is it? Cheesecake?”

“You’ll see,” he mysteriously says. Then he adds, “You’re gonna love it,” which immediately gives away the theme.

“It’s something to do with birds, isn’t it?”

“You’ll see.”

And when you do see, you’re wrong. Library food rules ignored, at each seat, Jisung has set a slice of layer cake topped with chocolate ganache, no bird motifs of any sort. You take your usual spot at the end of the table and find that yours is slightly larger than the others. Well, except for maybe Lia’s. He has to placate her sweet tooth and her disappointment of not being able to have hummingbird cake.

“Did I not get a message or something?” Hyunjin asks when he takes in the over-the-top display. “Is this a dinner party?”

“Isn’t this against the library’s rules?” Yeji asks as she surreptitiously looks around for any librarians. The surrounding tables of fellow students won’t care.

Jisung elects to not answer Yeji’s concerns. “This is tonight’s snack,” he proudly replies. “Also, Felix wants feedback on it.”

You cut a section off with the plastic fork and marvel at the airiness of the cake. It’s unlike anything you have ever had. The frosting in between the sponge layers is so light, and the ganache is so dark and rich. “This is really amazing. It’s so fluffy. Wow. Tell Felix that he really needs to consider culinary school.”

“Wanna guess what it’s called?”

“Isn’t this just an extra fancy vanilla cake?” you ask. You take another bite, but other than the chocolate ganache on top, you can only taste vanilla. “I don’t know. The… vanilla fluff cake?”

“Nope.” He leans forward, face inches away from yours, lips curled into a smirk, and slowly says, “Bird’s milk cake.”

This can’t be real. Birds don’t even produce milk. “No way. You’re lying.” Even as you say the words, they sound false to your ears. Jisung has made it his mission to find anything and everything bird-related for you, so you doubt he’s lying.

“It’s called this” — he holds up his phone screen — “in Russian. It translates to ‘bird’s milk.’”

Ptichye moloko.

“You convinced Felix to make this, didn’t you?” you say. What are the chances that Felix conveniently wanted to make bird’s milk cake without any nudging from Jisung? Absolutely none. You have never even heard of this dessert before, let alone by it’s Russian name, and you’re willing to bet that Jisung searched up ‘bird cake’ or something of that nature just for this. Maybe that’s how he found out about hummingbird cake too.

“It’s all for you, morning lark,” he cheerfully replies, winking at you. He leans back in his chair again, precariously balancing on the two back legs. “I knew you’d like it.”

Jisung is really not making this easy for you. Forget subtleties, he’s just shamelessly flirting with you now. And in the sanctity of the library of all places! In a poor attempt to save yourself from this mess, you unconsciously begin to slide down the chair, trying to shield your hot face with your raised shoulders. Lia notices this — one of the perks having sat next to you for nearly four weeks during lectures — and grabs your forearm.

“No melting,” she reminds you, “or else you’re going to hit your head on the seat again.”

“I wasn’t melting,” you protest as you wriggle back up. Slowly dying might have been a better descriptor. That wink shot arrows into your already fragile heart. “We’re gonna get in trouble if one of the librarians sees this.”

“Guess we should get started then,” Hyunjin says. Yeji, the only responsible one in the group, begins pulling out the textbook, and everyone laughs at her eagerness. “Not what I meant, but that too.”

After you’re done with the cake and while the others are preoccupied about the timeline of human evolution, Jisung whispers across the table, “Did you still like it?”

“Yeah. No hard feelings about the name because it was good,” you whisper back.

“I thought it would turn out like this, morning lark. I know you love free food too much to be mad.”

The nickname again. You rest your cheek against your palm in a vain attempt to tamp down the growing heat. “Can I get a different name, plague doctor?”

He’s not at all phased by his own nickname, which doesn’t bode well for any future snarky remarks from you. “What, you don’t like birds or something?” He blinks so innocently back at you that you have to stifle a giggle.

“Yeah, well, that’s the—”

“Hey, lovebirds,” Hyunjin interrupts, making you profusely blush and Yeji lightly laugh at the expression, “we’re gonna move on to the next section now. Is that okay?”

“It’s okay,” you reply even though you are most definitely not okay. Jisung, who you notice is uncharacteristically sheepish, echoes your sentiment.

It’s difficult not to stare at Jisung during the remainder of the study session. It seems to be true the other way around as well.

You’re sober when you read the messages, but you don’t think Jisung was when he sent them. Oh, how the tables have turned.

3:02 AM [Jisung Bio]: Good morning morning lark!! 3:02 AM [Jisung Bio]: Winner winner chicken dinner remember? So yes or no?

3:03 AM [Jisung Bio]: Or maybe yes or yes? 3:03 AM [Jisung Bio]: I really want to go on a date with you 3:03 AM [Jisung Bio]: Not lying I swear

3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re always on my mind and every time I see a bird, I think about you 3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: I bought grey goose because of you 3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: [jisung’s_hand_holding_grey_goose_vodka.jpg] 3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: I don’t even like it that much

3:05 AM [Jisung Bio]: You make me dizzy sometimes and I don’t know what to do 3:05 AM [Jisung Bio]: You’re probably sleeping so good night larky 3:05 AM [Jisung Bio]: Or morning

3:06 AM [Jisung Bio]: Fly high in your dreams!!!

He must have been wasted and under no responsible supervision because this is what you would have done if you were in his place. Does he not have a Seungmin in his life? Or a Ryujin? There’s a Felix, so where was he when all of this happened?

But forget about Jisung’s own problems.

He wants to go on a date with you. A real date, not a study date with three other people and fake quiz questions. If his words are to be taken literally, then one involving a chicken dinner. Possibly a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store, but a chicken dinner nonetheless.

He can’t stop thinking about you. All those bird jokes had you charmed, and all those cakes were baked with you in mind. They weren’t just for show. They were all about you.

You make him dizzy, which is hilarious because he does the same to you. He smiles at you so brightly, laughs so easily, and flirts so shamelessly that you never realized that you could ever make him feel that way.

And “fly high in your dreams?” You’re practically soaring in real life. Han Jisung, cute bio boy, plague doctor, pun enthusiast, surprisingly decent baker, wants to go on a date with you.

You, you, you!

While you alternate between hyperventilating and forgetting how to breathe as you process all this, three gray dots appear at the bottom of the chat. You clutch your phone as you wait. Apparently, your body is on the ‘forgetting how to breathe’ cycle.

11:14 AM [Jisung Bio]: I am so sorry about that. I was very drunk when I sent that

11:15 AM [Jisung Bio]: You can just ignore them or delete them 11:15 AM [Jisung Bio]: Highly recommend deleting 11:15 AM [Jisung Bio]: Also sorry if I woke you up

Your fingers hover over the keyboard. Should you answer him over text, call, or in-person? Is in-person too dramatic though? You feel like something like this is supposed to be done face-to-face, but he’s probably hungover beyond belief.

11:16 AM [Me]: It’s okay. A morning lark is always up early anyway :) 11:16 AM [Me]: Were you serious though?

11:17 AM [Jisung Bio]: Can we meet up in an hour? At the bus stop? I want to talk to you 11:17 AM [Me]: Yeah. Me too

The bus stop is neutral territory or maybe just the closest meeting spot you and Jisung have. If it’s supposed to be neutral territory, it most definitely is not since his apartment complex is right behind it. Despite his close proximity to the spot, you arrive first, so you make yourself as comfortable as possible underneath the sign, standing in its shadow. It’s silly when you think about it, but you wish you dressed in something nicer than a hoodie. In your rush to leave the apartment, you threw on whatever, but maybe you should have worn something prettier for this confrontation. Make Jisung go dizzy and gain a little bit of power from that.

This is even worse than when you had to face him after you sent your drunk texts. At least then it was just a middling attraction and not a full-on crush.

“Hey, morning lark. You’re early. As expected.”

“Hey. You’re… alive.”

Jisung is strangely fresh-faced, not a hint of hungover clouding around him. Why can’t you look like him after a night of seemingly heavy drinking? Where are the pinched eyebrows from the blinding lights? The ghostly gray face? The haunted eyes as one remembers all the incredibly stupid things they did the night before? Unfair. Completely unfair.

“Yeah.” He’s wearing his usual sweatshirt, but his hands are stuffed into its pockets instead of being out and about. He rocks back and forth on his heels. “Well, uh, I meant everything I sent. And I’m serious about taking you to dinner, so do you want to go on a date with me?”

You anticipated this. Why does it feel like you have just finished running a marathon? “Yeah, I do. I really want to.”

He smiles so brightly, the sun would be jealous. Correction, should be jealous. You don’t think you’ve seen a prettier sight than this since he sat down next to you on the first day of class and asked if you wanted to start a study group. He pumps his fist in the air like he’s a movie character, and you hide your laugh behind your hoodie sleeve. You’ve never seen him so happy before.

“How are you not hungover?” you ask as he raises his face to the sky, taking in the afternoon light, basking in the moment. He’s really living his movie character dreams. “You said you were really drunk.”

“I kind of lied?” he says, sounding more wistful than you would expect. When he looks back at you, you finally see dark circles underneath his eyes, but he is still as jubilant as before. “I was more tipsy than drunk. So, when do you wanna get that chicken dinner, winner, winner?”

It’s amazing how shy, excited Jisung disappears and how the usual casual, teasing Jisung reappears. That’s his Jekyll and Hyde moment, you suppose. And the switch is all activated by his one-track mind of bird jokes. How wonderful.

“Next week, after midterms? I’ve got two this week to study for. I should be free on Friday night.”

He enthusiastically nods. “Sounds good to me.”

2:57 PM [Me]: I’m done with all my midterms! Are you free tonight?

2:59 PM [Jisung Bio]: Free as a bird :D 2:59 PM [Jisung Bio]: Also congrats on being done 2:59 PM [Me]: I hate you

3:00 PM [Jisung Bio]: So chicken dinner? The restaurant next to the pizza place just opened 3:00 PM [Jisung Bio]: I heard it’s really clucking good 3:00 PM [Jisung Bio]: A hen out of hen

3:01 PM [Me]: I might actually kill you during our date

3:02 PM [Jisung Bio]: Don’t you mean 3:02 PM [Jisung Bio]: [flock_of_crows.jpg] 3:02 PM [Jisung Bio]: Murder :D

3:05 PM [Jisung Bio]: I’ll see you at 6? 3:05 PM [Me]: See you then

You do not end up murdering Jisung on your date, though you do come pretty close after you audibly ask the ground to swallow you up when he compliments your egg-cellent outfit.

“Swallow?” he slyly says. “Like the bird?”

Instead of committing a crime, you kiss him on the cheek, effectively silencing him. You’ve been waiting to do both those things for some time now, and look at you now, killing two birds with one stone.

Jisung turns a delightful shade of pink and mutters something about needing to get to the restaurant before it gets too crowded. All of his bluster from just five seconds ago is gone. You merrily follow him down the pavement, feeling a little bit like the cat who swallowed the canary.

Yes, you did search up bird expressions beforehand. Jisung will be Jisung, and like you told him before, toucan play at this game. You will not spend your first date with him being humiliated by his large repertoire of puns. Besides, if he retaliates like you expect him to, you will have the perfect excuse to kiss him again.

See? No fowl play at all.

Then he takes your hand into his, his warmth enveloping yours, and everything suddenly isn’t fair again.

And based on his all-too-pleased grin, Jisung knows this as well.

~ ad.gray

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Three)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 10.4k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (?),oc and jungkook being adorable bffs, shady tae, oral (female receiving), vaginal fingering, mentions of sex, vaginal intercourse, hickeys, orgasms,

Notes: I actually really enjoyed writing this part! Where’s my bff for bff bubble bath? Lmaaoo. Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to read. Don’t forget to send me an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or if you just want to chat about the story!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredescarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @jkslachimolala

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous----Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You want me to what now?” your voice is unnecessarily high pitched.

“Meet my parents.” Taehyung gives you that awkward Chrissy Teigen meme smile. “Listen—I know it sounds crazy and horrifying but they’re really nice…”

“But why?”

“It’s my fault…I didn’t consider having my sister on social media…and I keep posting you and she told my parents and they’re real excited about me having a girlfriend…and I don’t want to crush them.”

You and Taehyung are seated on your living room couch, enjoying a lazy Thursday afternoon after classes. He brings his cup of water to his lips and takes some generous gulps.

“Listen, y/n I will literally pay another month’s worth of coffee…please just think about it.”

More free coffee? Fuck, that’s kind of a steal considering how expensive that shit is and you no doubt have an addiction.

“…fine…” you say hesitantly, “when?”

“Really?” Taehyung lights up like a spot light, “Well, I was thinking this weekend?”

“T-This weekend? That soon? Which day?”

Taehyung showcases a sheepish grin as he rubs the back of his neck, a habit of his no doubt.

“Like, the whole weekend.”

Your eyebrows crawl to the top of your head as you gape at him, “What do you mean?”

“Like, we would get there in time for dinner on Friday, then stay all day Saturday and leave Sunday morning before they leave for church. Unless you wanna go to church with th—”

“No, not really.” You run your fingers through your long strands, “Holy shit, okay we are doing this.” You nod to yourself, “What’s our story? You know they’re going to ask.”

“Huh? Uh…just the truth. I met you through Jungkook and we hit it off and we started dating.”

You sigh to yourself, wishing that were actually true.

“Just be yourself, y/n.” Taehyung smiles at you. You beam back at him, and his boxy smile only grows wider. “They’ll like you, it’s not that hard to…” his hand reaches for yours, your palms are a bit sweaty since you are feeling like a nervous wreck at the thought of meeting his parents.

Suddenly, the front door swings open and in comes your best friend (who is still mad at you). He walks in slowly eyeing the two of you on the sofa. He notices Taehyungs hand wrapped around yours and Taehyung quickly pulls away. Jungkook takes a look at your face, you’re lost in thought, nibbling on your bottom lip.

Jungkook is yes, still mad at you but also, since he jacked it to your face he is being a little nicer. But as much as he has tried not to have those type of thoughts of you before, it’s not like he hasn’t. So, he’s gotten good at pretending all is well.

“What’s with her?” Jungkook pries, walking closer to the sofa.

“Noth—”

“I’m meeting Tae’s parents.” You cut in to say.

Jungkook’s brows crease as he looks between you and Taehyung. He shakes his head in disbelief, stepping closer to the two of you.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jungkook mutters under his breath. “You’re going this far?” now Jungkook’s face is tilted towards Taehyung. “Why are you going this far dude?” Taehyung stands to his feet, “I—”

“No man, you’ve already dragged her into your shit and now you want her to what, meet your parents?” Jungkook’s voice rises in volume and you start to feel uneasy. Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook—”

“End this.” Jungkook spits out, getting in Taehyungs face. “How is this fair for her…”

You stand up too, your hand pulling him back by the shoulder. “Jungkook stop.” Your voice is unusually calm.

“I’m helping Tae out because we’re friends and also, ya know, free coffee.” Jungkook turns to face you, his teeth gritting in frustration.

“You have no idea what you’re doing.” Jungkook whispers. And with that he takes one more look at Taehyung, shakes his head in disapproval and walks off towards his room.

You and Taehyung continue to stand there in silence, you feel embarrassed because of Jungkook’s actions and ashamed you didn’t do more to stop him. Taehyung on the other hand looks completely defeated.

“I’m sorry about Jungkook I don’t know why he—”

“I should go,” Taehyung cuts you off, he gives you a weak smile before grabbing his things and heading towards the door.

“Are we still on for this weekend?” you sway from side to side, feeling as awkward as you probably look.

Taehyung doesn’t answer right away, instead he rubs the back of his neck with a frown decorating his face. Finally, he meets your eyes and offers another weak smile.

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up at 4 tomorrow.” He doesn’t wait for a response as he is already walking out the door, closing it softly behind him.

You’re left alone in the living room with nothing but a cold, empty couch and your million racing thoughts. Why is Jungkook so against you and Tae? Maybe Jungkook is afraid that you’ll become so close with Tae that he thinks you’ll replace him…but you know in your heart of hearts Jungkook is irreplaceable. Why can’t Jungkook understand that? You haven’t been spending as much time with him lately and maybe that’s the problem. What can’t a drunken slumber party not solve?

You knock on his door, waiting for a ‘come in’ but it never comes. So you knock again. And again. Until finally Jungkook swings open the door with a frustrated sigh and pained look on his face.

“Look, before you scold me—”

“Actually, I had an idea.” You say quickly.

“Oh?” Jungkook’s features relax.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had one of our BFF slumber parties.” You slant your head to the side, a sly smile forming on your lips.

Jungkook stares at you for a few seconds before his eyes fill with something interesting.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “it’s been a while.”

“What do you say? Tonight? Me and you? Wine? Anime? Video games? BFF bubble bath?”

“Wow, you want the works.” Jungkook grins. “But you realize I’m still…” he takes a deep breath when he notices your worried, pleading eyes. “Step into my office and we can discuss the details.” He says, opening his door wider, inviting you inside.

His room looks clean besides the few articles of clothing scattered on the ground. He has a scented candle going and LoFi music playing lowly on his speakers. Lofi and candle? He only has that combo when he’s stressed and trying to calm down.

You take a seat on the edge of his made bed, and Jungkook follows you, also taking a seat on his bed next to you.

“14% and up only for the wine.” He states.

“Agreed. Action or horror for the anime.” You pitch in.

“Agreed. Mario Kart for the video game.”

“Agreed. Life altering secrets only for BFF Bubble Bath.”

Jungkook chews on his lips as he thinks of your request. “Okay.”

You clap your hands excitedly for tonight, your chest bubbling with happiness. This is what you and Jungkook need.

~~~~~~

Jungkook is even more excited for BFF slumber party night than you are. He’s missed you. There’s been a real disconnect with the two of you lately and thinks tonight is exactly what the two of you need. He is just coming home from buying 4 bottles of 16% wine and lots of snacks. He got the salty, the sweet and the sour. Feeling proud of his choices, he sets the groceries down and calls for you.

You walk out from the bathroom with a facemask glued to your face with another packet in your hand,

“For you, sir.”

Jungkook chuckles as he grabs the pack from your hands, “Okay, I’ll go put this on, while you pour us some wine.” He nods towards the bottles.

You happily oblige. You grab the cork screw from its designated place in the kitchen drawer and begin to open the first bottle of wine. It opens smoothly, without a hitch.

“Wow…engineering is amazing.” You whisper to yourself in awe.

“What’s amazing?” Jungkook walks into the kitchen, you take a long look at his appearance. The white facemask making him look like a ghost.

“Your face.” You chuckle, a finger going up to touch the material on his skin.

You twirl to face the kitchen cabinets and pull out two wine glasses for you and your BFF and poor a gracious amount of wine in each. You hand him the glass and you clank the glasses together in cheers.

“To us.” You chirp happily, chugging back a gulp of your drink.

Jungkook just watches as you wince at the disgusting flavor and cackles to himself before taking a sip of his own drink.

The two of you grab the bottle of wine and your glasses and make your way into the living room.

“Alright we go by the normal house rules, whichever place you get is how many seconds you chug your drink.” You explain.

“Are you talking to an imaginary audience y/n? I already know the rules.” Jungkook teases.

“I was just trying to get the competitive mood going.” You poke your tongue out, Jungkook is quick to try to grab it between his fingers.

“Ugh, you are so gross.” You groan.

“You love it.” Jungkook smiles so wide his eyes begin to disappear. “Well, let’s play!”

One thing you absolutely can’t stand but also completely adore about Jungkook is that he is a sore loser. And also an ungracious fucking winner.

“You SUCK!” Jungkook cackles obnoxiously in your face, “Like I hope you enjoy chugging for five—no, SIX seconds you mother fuckin loser.” He continues to laugh loudly much to your annoyance but a part of you feels warm that he is having so much fun. You haven’t seen him laugh like this in weeks.

“Okay I get it.” You roll your eyes so far back into your head all you see is whites.

This was the 3rd time in a row you’re getting 6th place, your vision is started to blur at the amount of alcohol you’ve chugged. But only a little, nothing you can’t handle.

“Okay y/n let’s stop now, we can watch some anime while we order some pizza?” he grins your way. “I vote Tokyo ghoul. And the rule is we drink every time Kaneki is fucking cry baby.”

“Well damn, guess we’re getting fucked up.” You declare. You and Jungkook laugh to yourselves at the thought.

The show is on, pizza has been ordered. Life is good. You sneak a glance at Jungkook as he pays attention to the show on screen. You smile when he smiles, you smile when he laughs, you smile when he pouts. Jungkook finally manages to notice you staring at him and snaps his head to you.

“What?” he asks with a toothy grin.

“Nothing…” you sing, your bright smile rivaling the light coming from the TV.

It’s been several hours, two medium pizzas have been demolished, 4 wine bottles have been drank and lots of anime has been watched. You and Jungkook sit on the sofa wrapped in blankets, neither one of you wanting to get up to turn the fan off.

“So cold.” You slur.

“Come closer.” Jungkook slurs back.

“Or we can warm up with BFF Bubble Bath?” you offer, leaning your head on his shoulder.

Jungkook zones out for a second, thinking of your request.

“Been a while since we had one of those, huh?” he finally says something.

“yeah, which is a real shame, isn’t it? I mean, we literally get into our swim suits, draw a hot bubble bath, get in sitting opposite of each other and tell each other our secrets, our hopes and dreams. Then we make a wish that the other person HAS to support and we can’t tell anyone else or else it won’t come true.” You mumble mostly to yourself.

“y/n…once again are you speaking to an imaginary audience?” he chuckles, “I know what a BFF Bubble Bath is.”

“Then hurry up and draw that bubble bath mister know it all.”

Jungkook stares at himself in the mirror, he’s got on his red swim trunks. His hair is a fucking mess, and his eyes are giving away how intoxicated he is but he’s got this dopey smile on his face that he decides is a good look on him. He looks happy. He feels happy.

You walk into the bathroom and eye your best friend. You can’t help but drop your gaze to his thighs, God, you love when he wears tight pants or shorts.

“What’s up buff guy?” you tease, grabbing a hold of his bicep.

“Shut up” Jungkook shudders from your touch. Then he takes one long look at you and he wants to faint. You’re also wearing a red swim suit, it’s one of those strapless kind. The two of you eye each other up and down, observing your matching swim suits and shoot each other some finger guns.

“hehe…well, shall we?” you say, gesturing towards the bubble filled tub.

Jungkook nods his head yes and motions for you to step in first.

The water is hotter than you are expecting, your toes wet with lava. But it’s just how you like it, you have both legs in as you begin to sink deeper into the bubbled water.

“come on in” you wave Jungkook over, he drunkenly stumbles forward until he’s wincing at the hot water that meets his skin.

“You’re really the queen of Hell if this temperature is enjoyable to you.” He deadpans.

“Why thank you, does that make you my loyal servant?”

“ha-ha.”

You and Jungkook stare at each other for a while, enjoying the drunken haze.

“So anything new going on with you?” you begin to pry.

You prying is never a good thing but you can never help yourself. His past is such a mystery to you and it drives you nuts. You’re supposed to be best friends yet he can’t even tell you about his parents without it getting real awkward. He knows all about your family history, but all you know about his is that his dad cheated the whole marriage and his mom finally left him for it—leaving Jungkook behind as well. You understand why it must be hard to talk about but...doesn’t he want to confide in you? You of all people?

“Not really.” Jungkook fingers play with the bubbles at his chest.

“Any girls? Like not just hookups but—”

“Don’t worry about that.”

Such a fucking Jungkook thing to say, it’s always ‘don’t worry about that y/n’ and never ‘let me actually tell you some real information y/n’.

“Jungkook,” you wine into the bubbles.

“Hm?”

“Don’t you have a girl you like???” and suddenly drunk y/n doesn’t want to know this answer. Would sober you?

Jungkook looks down at his wrinkling hands and doesn’t know what to say. Does he?

“No.” is the answer he settles for. And suddenly relief is washed over you.

You want to ask him the thing you are most curious about—his family. But he has said it a million times to you every time he’s asked—its ‘a touchy subject’.

“Ask about it.” He suddenly says, “I know you want to.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, yes indeed I have no clue.” You slur.

“Y/N.” he warns.

“Fine…when’s the last time you talked to your dad? I know he made mistakes…but I also know he has tried reaching out to you over and over. He calls almost every day Jungkook! Maybe he’s changed. I know your mom left because of everything and you blame your d—”

“Mom…” he begins to cut you off. You notice his eyes gloss over and you feel your heart drop. Jungkook rarely cries and rarely cries in front of anyone. Then he’s clearing his throat, “You’re right. Moms not in the picture anymore and I do blame dad.”

“I hate that your mom left you Jungkook…” you say softly. “She’s the worst for that,”

“You have no idea.” Jungkook breathes out. “Let’s change the subject, please.”

“But—”

“Please, y/n.” his eyes are pleading and you feel your heart drop again. You wonder if he will ever be ready to talk about it.

“Actually…” he awkwardly plays with the bubbles in front of his chest, “There’s something I want to say.”

“What is it?” you can’t help but feel anxious all the sudden.

Jungkook avoids your eyes as he plays with the bubbles, he takes a few deep breaths before lifting his head.

“I’m sorry.”

You tilt your head, “Sorry for what?”

“I’ve…” Jungkook scrunches his face up, contemplating what to say. “I’ve been really unfair to you. I should of never treated you this way…I don’t know what came over me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was hurt, yes, that you chose Taehyung over me but since the beginning I’ve been such an asshole. Fuck, y/n…” his voice cracks, “I’m so sorry. I just wish I could…” he pauses, shaking his head. “No, it’s nothing. I just hope you’ll be careful with Taehyung.” He shakes his head again, “Oh my god, I am so selfish.” He laughs pathetically. “I’m sorry…”

You stay quiet for several moments, you want to agree with him. Yeah it was fucked up what you did, but he wasn’t any better this whole time.

“Why were you such an asshole?” you finally ask.

“Don’t worry about it y/n.” GOD DAMN. You are tired of that response!

You scoff, “And why are you so wary of Taehyung? I don’t get it!”

“Can you just trust me? Please?”

“I’ll just trust my own judgment for now…”

“y/n…” then he is looking into your eyes more seriously, “I’m sorry.”

You bite your lip as you think about his apology. Is he sorry? By the looks of it, yes. But he was so childish…you decide to grab his hand and play with his fingers. He stares down at your hands and smiles softly.

“Will you behave?” you tease lightly. Your fingers weaving through his. He looks up at you with his big doe eyes and nods his head slowly.

“Yes.”

“Then I will forgive you for now but you’re on thin fucking ice, buddy.”

Jungkook can’t help but laugh a little. “Yes mam.”

“Fine!” you say clasping your hands together, “Secret time!”

“Oh great,” Jungkook chuckles. “You first”

“Okay, hmmmmm.” You hold your chin up in deep thought. “Okay I got one I have never told you.” You grin mischievously.

“Okay, go for it.”

“When I was really drunk I most definitely made out with Trina.”

“Yeah, I was there. I’m the one who told you that you should kiss her. I said kiss though, like a peck. But your ass added tongue and all.”

“Wait what? Why would you tell me to do that!”

“I thought it would be hot.” He shrugs.

“Wack.” You slap his hand, “Your turn.”

“Ummm…” Jungkook leans back in the tub, “I’m the one who told Jimin to dare me to kiss you our freshmen year.” Jungkook says just above a whisper. He’s been holding in that secret for 3 years.

“Wait, what?” you ask, totally off guard.

“Yeah.” Is all he responds with.

“You wanted to kiss me back then?”

“Wasn’t it obvious considering how things escalated…”

Your eyes expand in size, the memory of that night flashing in your mind.

“We agreed to never talk about it, ya know, to save our friendship and what not.” You point out.

The bubbles cover your bathing suit perfectly so little was left to the imagination. Jungkook keeps eyeing the swell of your breasts and the pop of your collarbones, you look naked if he has to be honest. And if he has to be honest it was starting to turn him on. Should that be a secret he shares?

“Jungkook?” you say for the 4th time trying to get him out of whatever drunken daze he was in.

“Huh?” he comes back down to earth. “What did you say?”

“I said, what are your dreams?”

“You know them already,” he shrugs.

“Video editor still?”

“Yeah. Maybe Director.” He smiles timidly, “What about yours?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Well, you’re in school for marketing. So something with that?”

“I just chose that because I know I can find a job in the field.” You sigh.

Jungkook studies your features, you look troubled. He leans forward to grab your hands again and says , “Whatever you wanna do, you’ll be great at it,”

You crease your brows together and a pout forms on your lips, “You think so?”

“I know so.”

The two of you smile at one another until you break the silence, “Its getting too hot we should get out soon.”

“Agreed.” Jungkook nods his head.

“Alright let’s make our wishes that we MUST support.” You stick your pinky out for Jungkook to take, “I’ll go first.” Then you become shy with your next words, “I wish Taehyung would feel the same way about me I do about him.”

Jungkook’s smile falters but he takes your pinky anyway.

“My turn…I just…I wish you will be happy.”

You widen your eyes, “Wow,” you say, “What a selfless wish. You shouldn’t waste it on me!”

“It’s my greatest wish right now though…” he slurs his words.

You can’t help but smile as you take his pinky in promise.

Now in some fresh pajamas, you and Jungkook both stand in front of his bedroom door. The two of you are pretty damn drunk but holding it together quite nicely. He sways from side to side with that bunny smile and you can’t help but lean in for a hug. He takes a moment but he hugs you back. You pull away much too quickly for his liking.

“Hey y/n…”

“Yeah?”

Jungkook clears his throat a few times, his eyes darting all around the place, “Could you ever…hate me?”

“Never.” You answer quickly.

Jungkook is hit with a wave of guilt, a wave so big it comes crashing and knocking him down.

“Would if…no, never mind.”

“Never.” You say again.

Jungkook’s smiles fades a bit before a new smile takes over.

“I understand. Goodnight y/n.” and he leans down and places a kiss on your cheek. “sleep well.”

Fire. You feel the burn of fire. His kiss lingered for a second too long because you are burning. His kiss was scorching hot and you can’t help but melt from the heat. You are left speechless. From a kiss on the cheek.How did a kiss on the mother fucking cheek have you reacting this way?

“G-Goodnight Jung—” but the door is already softly closing in your face before you can finish your sentence.

~~~~~

The sun is coming through the blinds in the most offending way, you want to open your eyes and start the day but you just cannot. You have a raging headache from all the wine you quickly drank and you come to accept your fate—you’re hungover. As hell. You crack one eye open to see the time on the clock: 1:52pm

Immediately you sit up in bed, realizing you have slept way too long. How late did you and Jungkook stay up last night? Oh, last night. You smile softly at the memories of the night before. It was a perfect BFF slumber party. You haven’t seen Jungkook that happy in a while and you wonder if the same goes for you.

But then reality sets in—Taehyung is going to be here in 2 hours and you haven’t even thought about what you’re packing for your trip. You still need to eat, shower and get ready. You begin to mentally pack for your trip when you hear a single knock on your door before its opening up and a wild Jungkook appears.

“Morning sleepyhead.” He says with his signature bunny grin on his face.

“Jungkook! Help me pack!” you jump out of bed and walk to your closet, dragging out an oversized overnight bag.

“Like, parent appropriate clothes—I am freaking out by the way. I am meeting Tae’s parents and would if they don’t like me?”

“Relax, relax.” Jungkook walks inside your closet, bringing out a few clothing options. “They’re going to love you.”

“Do you…” you chew on your bottom lip, “Do you think your parents would have loved me?” you ask cautiously.

Jungkook freezes. He is silent for several long moments, making you believe you should not have asked that. But then he turns to face you with a strange smile, “Mom and dad would have adored you.” Then he pats your shoulder. “I put in some good options by the way.” He says pointing to the bag.

“Oh thanks.” You say totally caught off guard. “Okay I’m going to shower can you please, pretty please make me something to eat? I will love you forever.”

“You already love me forever.” Jungkook states matter of fact. “But sure, but don’t blame me if you don’t like what I make.”

“Oh god, you’re making me instant ramen aren’t you?”

“Love you.” He says, walking out of your room.

~~~~~~

“I made a playlist for our drive.” Taehyung hands you his phone, “It’s called ‘Meet the Parents’” he laughs to himself, pointing at the playlist on the screen for you to click.

“The first song is called ‘Please love me’ by Colde” you chuckle, “You think you are funny, don’t you?”

“Maybe a little” he smirks. “But really, relax. My parents are chill, they’re gonna like you, I promise.

“Well, we have a 2 hour drive Tae Tae.” Taehyung blushes hard at the nickname and for once it does not go unnoticed by you.

“I have a question for you y/n…”

You quirk a brow at his curiosity, “What is it?”

“How do you have the opportunity to fake date me? Like, don’t you have someone you like or guys chasing after you?”

“Oh I don’t have much luck with that.” You answer honestly. “With dating and such.”

“And why’s that?” he pries deeper.

“To be honest most guys I have dated end up dumping me if I don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

You grip your purse in your lap, your hold so tight your fingers become sore.

“Dump Jungkook.” You breathe out, “They were always so jealous of him…and… gave me a choice. Them or him,” you pick at the material of your purse, “I always chose Jungkook.” You huff, “Besides I didn’t like those guys that much anyway.”

Taehyung is quietly listening to you, nodding his head at your words. Once at a stop light he turns to face you,

“Yet when I asked you to dump Jungkook, you did.” He points out in a hushed tone.

“I…” you pause, thinking carefully on what to say. “I guess I did.”

Taehyung smiles. But it isn’t his boxy grin, it’s an odd smile. You become anxious, “But it’s more complicated than that.”

“Right.” Taehyung says before facing the road again, accelerating through the green light.

“How did you and Jungkook becomes so close anyway?”

You can’t help but simper.

“Well, we met at a frat party but ended up at a 24 diner until like 9 the next morning. We just—we just really hit it off. I felt like I could say or be anything in front of Jungkook and he would always just give me a silly look and accept whatever it is, whatever I am. You know when you just vibe with someone so well?” you ask, not really expecting an answer.

“Well that was us. We could say anything and still always want to continue the conversation. We ended up taking some of the same classes and studied together then that turned into regular hang outs and then it was like bam—I was with him almost every day.” You smile fondly at the memories.

Taehyung glances at you, he wears a sad smile as he asks, “Have either of you ever caught feelings for the other?”

You choke on the air around you, “What?” then that night from freshmen year flashes in your mind, “No…no.” you say trying to convince him, or is it to convince yourself?

The next few minutes are pretty quiet during the drive, but nothing awkward. You unzip your purse to pull out your phone to see you have unread messages from Jimin.

Jimin 5:30pm

Hey babe, heard you were going to meet Tae’s parents

Jimin 5:31pm

How is Jungkook feeling?

y/n 5:44pm

what do u mean

Jimin 5:45pm

y/n…nothing girl

y/n 5:45pm

????

Jimin 5:46pm

It’s really nothing. Anyway

Jimin 5:46pm

You and tae huh

Jimin 5:46pm

I am happy for you and tae…if that’s what you really want

You stare down at the phone in your hands, contemplating whether to tell Jimin the truth. He is one of your best friends after all.

y/n 5:55pm

tbh with u jimin…im not really dating tae..were just pretending to get this girl off his back

Jimin 5:56pm

What???? Really?? Wait, what girl?

y/n 5:57pm

Some chick named Anna

Jimin 5:57pm

Wait…Anna…?

Incoming call: Jimin

“Are you going to answer that?” Taehyung asks from beside you.

You want to but you two are pulling into his parents drive way and you don’t want your first impression to be that you were on your phone, so you send Jimin a quick text that you can’t talk.

You and Taehyung step out of the car and his parents are already standing outside on the porch. His father has his wife in his arms, they look happy to see Taehyung—they look happy in general.

“Oh! My baby bear!” his mother strides forward until Taehyung is wrapped in her loving arms. She sways their bodies back and forth as she smiles and laughs, the joy of having her son with her evident.

Taehyungs dad is about the same, he pulls him in for a tight hug and scolds him for not visiting more. Then it is your turn. You stand there awkwardly but not for long because Taehyungs mother is embracing you all the same.

“I have seen lots of pictures of you! But you are even prettier in person!” she gushes, her hands holding yours. You can’t help the blush that creeps up on your face as she speaks to you.

“Why don’t you two come inside?” his father gestures towards the house, “We got dinner nice and hot.”

Taehyung blushes as he watches his parents interact with you, he knew they would warm up to you fast but still it makes his heart race.

Dinner goes by quickly, his parents talking a storm. They begin sharing childhood stories about Taehyung and show you baby pictures as he sits there protesting. His pouting face is so cute you could die.

“And here he is with just a towel!” his mom squeals. “But I am sure you have seen that view already.”

“mom…” Taehyung draws out the word in a whine. You just giggle as she continues to show you pictures of baby Tae Tae.

Finally, Taehyungs sister joins the party and she teases him just as much as their parents. You feel right at home with the Kim’s. They are warm and inviting and make you feel so…at peace.

“Oh!” Mrs. Kim pauses, “look at the time!” she points down at her watch that rests on her left wrist.

“It’s gotten so late, my my. Well, us old folks are heading to bed. You two should get some rest as well.” She motions towards you and Taehyung. “Taehyung can show you the room you two will be staying in.”

“Room? As in singular?” you sputter out.

“Well, we only have one room open. One bed.” She juts her lip out innocently. “I figure you two are a couple so…”

“Yeah, we will be fine.” Taehyung cuts in. “Get some rest mom…dad.” He nods towards his father.

One room? One bed? With The Kim Taehyung. Granted that yes, you have become like, friends with Tae so you are more comfortable. But to share a room? Share a bed?

You follow Tae up the stairs and down the hall to a bedroom. It has a single queen size bed in the middle of the room against the wall. You feel flustered like it’s the first time you spoke to him.

“I can sleep on the floor if you want.” Taehyung offers with a shy smile and all your worries vanish. That’s right, Taehyung is a gentlemen and you have nothing to worry about.

“No, it’s fine” you assure him, “We are adults Tae, we can share a bed.”

Your hangover still lingers and the drive is starting to take its toll, your eyes feeling heavy as sleep invites you to visit.

“Let’s sleep.” You yawn out.

Taehyung nods his head with a smile and walks towards the bathroom, “I’ll get ready for bed in here,” he motions towards the bathroom, “and you can change in here. Just let me know when you’re done.”

“Alrighty”

You fall asleep quickly, letting your dreams take over for the night.

Winter break just started and you are supposed to go see your parents but when you found out your new friend Jungkook was going to be spending the holidays alone in his dorm you just could not let that slide.

“It’s not a big deal, y/n. I’m used to it.” He states in a plain fashion.

“it IS a big deal JK. My parents can handle one Christmas without me, but I am afraid you cannot.” You say with a smirk.

“Why are you doing this for me?” Jungkook is typing away on his laptop working on a last minute assignment his professor is letting him turn in late.

“Because even though I’ve only known you for like, 4 months, you’re like my closest friend here.”

“Don’t act like you have a closer friend somewhere else”

“Why do you have to call me out like that?”

Jungkook snickers, click clacking away on his keyboard, “Finally, I’m finished.” He says closing the laptop. Jungkook looks up at you.

“Go catch your flight y/n.” he says with a soft smile.

“Not happening.” You say more seriously.

Jungkook just stares at you for a long while and you stare right back. When the two of you look into one another’s eyes it’s never weird or awkward. You always relish in it.

“You’re something else aren’t you?” he breaks into a toothy grin. “What would we do anyway?”

“We can have a slumber party? And call it BFF slumber party.”

“Sounds fun” Jungkook stands from his rolling chair and sits on the edge of his bed with you.

“You know, you might be the best friend I have ever had.” He whispers.

Christmas passes by in a flash and NYE’s is right around the corner. Your friends are going to be back for NYE’s because of all the parties that required all of your attendances.

New Year’s eve has arrived and you sit in your dorm with Trina as the two of you get ready for the night.

“I hope Stephanie is going to be there tonight…” Trina mumbles under her breath, “If not this outfit is a complete waste.”

You giggle as you apply your red lipstick in the mirror. You get a text from Jimin that he and Jungkook are already headed to the party so you rush Trina to get ready to go.

The party is booming. There are decorations everywhere, people everywhere, and drinks everywhere. You sip on a few beers, wanting to stay at least a little sober so you remember the night, and you hope Jungkook isn’t too trashed either.

Hours pass, lots of dancing goes down and more drinks go down…your throat. It was all fun and games until Jimin called for your group of friends to head to a bedroom to play an innocent game of truth or dare.

You stick to Jungkook’s side as the two of you stumble up the stairs, laughing loudly and holding hands to keep each other stable.

You all sat in a circle in the room, talking and laughing until Jimin clanked a glass with a spoon like a fancy bitch to get everyone’s attention.

“Okay first, lets start with Trina! Truth or Dare?” Jimin smirks.

“Dare, obviously.”

“Okay,” Jimin thinks for a few moments, “I dare you to flash everyone your tits.”

“Oh? Is that all?” Trina says as she quickly lifts her shirt. She was already braless. You and Jungkook cackle at the scene unfolding.

“Okay, Hobi…truth or dare?”

“Dare.” He says with an excited grin.

“Dare you to take 3 shots in a row.”

And the night went on like this until it was Jimins turn again,

“Jungkook, truth or dare?” Jimin had an evil glint in his eye, you should of known he was up to no good.

“Dare.” Jungkook says with a cocky smile.

“I dare you to kiss y/n.”

“y/n?” Taehyung shakes you a bit more, “y/n?”

“Huh?” you begin to open your eyes and take in your view. You are in a small bedroom, there are posters on the wall and a small desk next to the bedroom door. And most importantly a Kim Taehyung in front of your face.

“What…What time is it?” you ask, sleep still evident in your voice.

“9:00” he grins down at you. “We’re going strawberry picking today, get dressed!”

You rub your eyes, trying to rid yourself of the sleep that crusted them but it is no use, you are still exhausted.

“I dare you to kiss y/n.”

Why? Why did you dream that memory? You shake your head trying to rid yourself of the lingering dream in your mind. That was a long time ago, time to move on.

You quickly shower and get dressed and meet Taehyung and his parents for breakfast.

“Wow, smells good!” you inhale the air, while smiling sweetly to Mrs. Kim.

“Do you cook y/n?” she asks, looking eager to know.

“Yeah, I do. Well, sometimes.” You laugh to yourself “My roommate is useless in the kitchen so someone has to cook.”

“That’s great!” Mrs. Kim exclaims, nodding approvingly to her husband. “Taehyungs last girlfriend couldn’t even toast a poptart.” She rolls her eyes but then smiles at you again.

Last girlfriend? You don’t recall Taehyung ever having a girlfriend in the time you have known him. Must have been a while.

“Mom…” Taehyung warns,

“Oh alright, we aren’t talking about her. What was her name again?”

“Mom.”

“Okay okay.”

You awkwardly play with your fingers at their back and forth. Who was his girlfriend? Were they dating more recently? Why has the energy shifted so much in the kitchen?

“So you two are going strawberry picking huh? That’ll be fun. Be sure you bring back the reddest, juiciest ones you can find!” Mr. Kim chimes in.

You and Taehyung arrive at the strawberry farm a couple hours later, you two are some of the only people there.

“Small town.” Taehyung explains.

“More for us.” You poke your tongue out. “You must really like strawberries Tae.”

“Actually, no. I’m tired of them.” His laughter fills your ears, you watch as he sways into your side “But it’s still fun and we can take some cute pics here.”

“Yeah, true.” You try to smile brightly but fall short. “Well I’m glad we’re getting some because Jungkook eats all the damn strawberries at home!” Taehyung watches as you giggle and he frowns.

You spend time walking side by side, taking lots of photos, and enjoying one another’s company. The wonderful breeze rushes through you, making you feel alive and well.

“No way! Trina did not do that!” Taehyung laughs so hard, shaking his whole body.

“I swear! I told her she was going to get caught but that bitch does not listen to me.” You laugh alongside him.

“And I swear to you, I was not about to get caught with her so me and Jungkook ran for it. I would rather fucking die.” You laugh again.

“You don’t say that type of stuff in front of Jungkook, do you?” Taehyungs tone becomes serious, surprising you.

“What stuff?” you tilt you head in confusion.

“You know ‘wanting to die’ bullshit. He really hates that because well, you know.”

“Oh yeah, I don’t say that around him, he’s real sensitive about that for some reason.” You laugh awkwardly, swinging your arms side to side as you two walk.

“Well for good reason. Right?”

“Huh?”

“It’s nothing…” Taehyung releases a shaky breath. “It’s not my place to tell you.”

“If it’s about my best friend—”

“Sorry. Not my place.” Taehyung says more harshly. “Let’s just change the subject.”

Your mind begins racing…why is Jungkook so sensitive about that? What isn’t he telling you?

“Don’t think too much about it y/n.” Taehyung says softly. “He will tell you eventually.”

“Oh…” you bow your head down, “Okay…”

“Well, tell me more about you Tae.”

“what do you want to know?”

“let’s start with the basics! What’s your favorite color?”

Taehyung looks up at the sky and hums to himself, “I don’t have one but today maybe it’s blue.”

“You don’t have a favorite color? Why blue today?”

“The sky. It’s so pretty. I wish I could find this exact shade of blue and recreate this sky…” he sighs to himself, “But then again maybe today it’s green.” He gestures towards your top. “Because it brings out the color in your eyes.”

You pause mid walk, tilting your head up at him. “You like green today because I…I’m wearing it?”

“Is that strange?” he stops walking as well, “Because your eyes—”

“Why not choose the color of my eyes?” you tease.

“Because I like what wearing green does to them specifically.” He rubs your shoulder, “Come on, let’s keep going.”

You nod your head and the two of you continue your walk, he takes your hand in his and you smile to yourself. This feels like a real date.

“What are you most afraid of?” you feel his hand grow sweaty in your palm. “Like, for example, Jungkook doesn’t like spiders or…”

“Being left.” He blurts out. “But yeah, not a fan of spiders either.” He chuckles.

“Being left?”

Taehyung walks towards a bench and sits down, you follow his lead taking a seat close to him. He takes a few deep breaths and lowers his head.

“Imagine a parent or a significant other or even a friend…they say they love you and stuff…but then change their mind or something happens and they end up leaving. That’s what I’m most afraid of. Being left alone.”

You bite your lip, you realize he and Jungkook have this in common. Your hand rushes to find his, you gently stroke your thumb over his golden skin. “Someone would be absolutely crazy to abandon you, Taehyung.”

Surprising you, he scoffs.

“I’m serious…you are…just amazing. You’re sweet, funny, caring and kind and you make great art and you have great taste in movies…you also know the best pizza…” you continue to stroke his skin as you ramble, “You have the most genuine heart, Taehyung.”

Taehyung lifts his head to face you, he looks pained.

“y/n…”

“You don’t have to say anything, I’m here for you, you know?” you scoot closer to him on the bench and Taehyung leans into you.

“You’re too good to me…” Taehyung whispers so quietly you barely hear him. “You really think that of me?”

“Of course, I do. You make me feel…” the words die on your tongue when you feel Taehyung cup your jaw with his hand.

“You make me feel….too.” he whispers just loud enough that you hear him loud and clear.

Then Taehyung leans back, his hand dropping from your face, “I have to tell you something.”

“No.” you cut in. Whatever it is it can wait. Because…because you know it’s not something that will make you happy and you don’t want this weekend to be ruined. You just know.

“Tell me another time?” you lean into him, your fingers intertwining with his. “Please…”

Taehyung exhales deeply, frustration written all over his face. He turns in his seat to face you.

“Soon.” He promises.

“Ha, you sound like Jungkook.”

“Do you always find a way to talk about Jungkook?” Taehyung lifts your chin with his fingers.

“W-What?”

Taehyung looks serious for a second before he cracks a smile and laughs, “I’m just teasing you.”

~~~~~

“Wait, wait. So you’re telling me you ALSO love museums?!” Taehyung squeezes your hand in excitement.

“Yeah, they’re really interesting.” You smile.

“Oh my god, all our friends think they’re so boring. Well, Namjoon likes them. Anyway, why haven’t we gone on a museum date? I want to take you so bad now!” His eyes are shining like a child, you can’t help but adore him.

“Then let’s go sometime Tae.”

Taehyung lowers the basket he’s holding to the ground and takes your basket and sets it on the ground as well.

“I really…” Taehyung pauses, reaching his hand to grab yours. “Really had a nice time with you today.

You look down at your joined hands and smile. “Me too, Tae Tae.”

Taehyung leans over and pecks your cheek. It makes you smile.

“What was that for?” you ask shyly. “There’s no people around.” You chuckle a bit bitterly.

“Just felt like it,” his soft smile making you swoon. “Should we head back? My parents will probably be in bed by the time we make it back home.”

“Sure.”

~~~~~

The house is dark and quiet when you enter through the front door. Only the sound of the ceiling fan rotating in cold, noisy circles could be heard. It was oddly calming and made the long day catch up to you.

“Let’s get ready for bed.” Tae whispers into your ear and it tickles.

The two of you head up the flight of stairs and enter the bedroom. You take turns using the bathroom to get ready for bed, once all done you make your way under the covers and slowly close your eyes.

“y/n?”

You turn over in bed to face Taehyung, your faces just inches apart.

“Yes?” you whisper.

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this.” The guilt in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed by you, as usual. “I wish there was something more I could do for you…”

“You’re already buying me coffee.” You giggle.

“I want to do more,” Taehyung gulps “I want to…” he scoots even closer to you, his hot breath fanning your face. You can smell the mint from his toothpaste and his natural scent. It fills your nostrils and you suck in a sharp breath.

“You want to what?” you say with a shaky voice.

Taehyungs breathing begins to quicken, you can feel each rushed breath and you wonder what’s gotten into him.

“What do you want to do, Tae?” you ask again.

You can see Taehyungs tongue dart out to wet his lips and you can’t help but stare. His lips look so plump and delicious, you want a bite.

“I…I don’t know…” he turns to lay on his back. “Can I tell you a secret?” he whispers.

“Sure.”

“I wanted to kiss more than your cheek today.” He turns back over to his side to face you again. “Is that wrong?”

Taehyung wanted to kiss you? Like, kiss you kiss you? You feel happy, yes. But do you feel your heart racing in excitement? You don’t know.

“Tae—”

“Even now, I still want to…kiss you…” his hand brushes against the skin of your cheek and you start to feel your heart beat just a little faster. Finally…

“But,” he pulls backs, “It’s wrong, isn’t it?”

“Why would it be wrong?”

“Because…y/n…I have to tell you some—”

You quickly lean over to seal his lips with yours. Usually your kisses are short and sweet and tender but this time you use more force as you press your lips over his mouth, the kiss sloppy and heated. He instantly kisses you back with fervor, your tongue prodding its way into his mouth and he obliges in seconds, his tongue playing with yours. You moan into his mouth and Taehyungs hands are all over you, they travel into your hair, down your back, grabbing your hips and rubbing your ass.

“Tae…” you whine out

Taehyungs fingers play with the hem of your shorts and you push your hips into his.

“Please.” You beg for more.

“But wait—”

“Please.” You repeat.

Taehyung stares at you for several long moments, thinking of what to do…he wants to devour you, if he had to be honest. But is this right? But he…

Then his eyes go dark, his gaze piercing.

“I’m going to taste you.” He says in voice so deep you even question that its him.

Next thing you know your shorts are pulled down along with your panties and Taehyungs mouth is an inch away from devouring you.

“Gonna make you feel so good.” He groans into your heat, his tongue licking a strip from your hole to your clit. And again and again. You quietly whimper into the pillow as his tongue fucks you.

“More Taehyung, more…” you moan, your hands gripping his hair.

Taehyung smirks up at you and inserts two fingers into your greedy cunt, he curls and scissors them inside you making you weep pathetically.

“That feel good sweetheart?”

Then he’s diving back in, his tongue assaulting your clit until you feel the buildup of your inevitable orgasm—you mean, it is Kim Taehyung.

He gives your clit one last good suck before you are reaching your high, pulling on his locks and moaning at a higher pitch. Fuck, that was good.

“You sound so fucking hot when you come…” Taehyung moves back up the bed as you lay there breathless. “Next time I want you coming on my—”

Taehyung stops himself from finishing that sentence. You watch as he groans into his hands, “I mean, if you want there to be a next time.”

“Of course I do, Tae.” You flip to your side and find his lips. You give him a long kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. “How could I not?”

Taehyung savors your lips on his, he finds his hands in your hair again as he deepens it. He should feel like shit but somehow he feels…good. And he’s confused as hell for it.

~~~~~

The next morning comes by quickly, you are saying your goodbyes to the Kim’s with promises that you will return soon. And you secretly hope you do.

The drive back to Uni is a slow one, you and Taehyung listen to his playlist and chat every now and then while he holds your hand. You smile like an idiot the whole time.

Taehyungs phone is in your hand as you slide through the music options, you’re about to choose a song when he receives an incoming text.

Anna 10:08am

You think that will work, Taehyung? Try harder.

You slide the message up, trying to ignore it. You don’t want some stalker to ruin the good mood you’re in. But you can’t help but wonder what she is talking about. And why hasn’t he blocked her? You don’t say anything to Taehyung, he is also in a good mood and you don’t want to ruin it. He’s humming the tune from the car speakers and lifts his hand that holds yours and kisses it.

Another hour passes and you and Taehyung are in front of your apartment.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you up?” Taehyung questions sweetly.

“I’m sure!” you stand on your tip toes to kiss his cheek and turn around to walk away.

“Oh no you don’t.” Taehyung chuckles as he pulls you in for a kiss on the lips. Then another kiss and then another. “Now you can go.” He teases.

You break out in a wide grin, and tilt your head up to kiss him one last time.

You walk up the steps to your apartment, and walk towards your front door. What an amazing weekend, you think. You got to know Taehyung a lot better, you met his parents and you two shared an unforgettable night—at least for you. Oh no. Should you have returned the favor? Instead of worrying about it you decide it’s okay, he owes you after all. You chuckle to yourself as you unlock the front door.

You step inside your apartment with a an idiotic, dopey ass smile plastered on your face.

“What’s with you?” Jungkook asks from the living room couch.

“Oh nothing,” You sing, “Just had a really good weekend.”

“Oh? So I guess meeting his parents went well?” Jungkook stands to meet you at the entrance, he takes your bag for you and sets it down.

“That too.” You giggle.

Jungkook cocks his head to the side, “I’m serious, what’s up with you?” he can’t help but smile. You look so happy.

“Nothing we just… we just…” you bite your lip, contemplating on what to tell Jungkook.

“You… just?” his smile begins to fade as realization hits him. Then his face hardens. “Did he fuck you?” Jungkook’s voice is lower than you have ever heard it.

“What?” you choke out.

“I asked if this asshole fucked you?”

“Okay, one: he’s not an asshole. Two: no, he did not fuck me.”

Jungkook visibly relaxes.

Telling Jungkook the truth will probably only upset him for some reason so you decide against it. You don’t need his negativity right now. Finally, fucking finally, Taehyung is crossing a line with you…on the side where friendship is beginning to become blurred and nothing makes you more excited. You have been waiting for this, you have spent so much time with him and and… you need this.

“Okay…” Jungkook leans down and picks up your bag and heads to your room. You watch as he swings the bedroom door open and set the bag inside.

“Wanna order some food?” he calls out, walking towards you again.

“Honestly we got up pretty early this morning so I think I’ll take a quick nap. But after? If you’re willing to wait a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Get some rest.” He smiles, jumping back on the couch and pressing play on whatever show he was watching.

Your bed is so unbelievably soft and warm that as soon as you sink in the sheets your eyes are already closing in exhaustion. But your mind stays awake…you think about the weekend you just had with Taehyung and all the progress you have made. You like him so much, you want nothing more than for him to feel the same way. At least you think you…anyway. You recall his lips kissing down your body, his tongue teasing your thighs, his hands gripping your hips.

Taehyungs dark eyes as he stares up from you is without a doubt one of the sexiest things you have had the pleasure of witnessing. Wait—why one of? Why can’t it be the sexiest thing you have ever seen? Then different images bombard your brain but you’re quick to throw them away. Only Taehyung lives in your mind rent free, god damn it. He ain’t gotta pay a penny.

You think about the light, teasing kisses he left on your neck…you think about his fingers and how they fucked you, god they felt so fucking good. You smile as you think about what else he could do for you…your lazy smile widens at the thought.

Your eyes are still closed and images of Taehyung run wild in your mind as you start to doze off. Yes, you can fall asleep with him in your thoughts. Your body feels heavier and heavier as sleep finally takes over, you welcome Taehyung in your dreams as well. At least you hope you dream of him.

The bed creaks beneath you as Jungkook guides you further up the mattress, his body hovering your own. His hands come to slide up your arms as you shiver under his touch.

“I’m giving you goosebumps.” He says while lightly stroking your arm, feeling each bump under his fingertips. “What else do I do to you?”

“So many things Jungkook…” you heavily breathe out, your chest is heaving at this point. The anticipation of his touch is driving you nuts.

“Need to find out.” He simply states, his head lowering down to the crook of your neck. He breathes you in and lowers himself between your spread legs.

“Can I touch you?”

“Yes, please.” You don’t mean to whimper, but you do. You fucking do.

Jungkook’s slender fingers make their way skimming across your bare stomach until he reaches the hem of your panties. He lifts the band up and slaps it against your skin.

“I want these off, is that okay?”

You only nod your head.

“Words y/n. When you’re with me you use your words okay baby?” His fingers begin lowering your panties down. “Lift yourself for me.” And you obey. Jungkook slides your panties down your legs and you’re left completely naked underneath him.

“God, I can just see how wet you are.” You immediately force your legs shut, feeling embarrassed at his words.

“Not uh, I don’t think so. You got this wet for me? I want to see it. Open for me, baby.” Very hesitantly you begin to move your legs apart, the blush on your face deepening.

The rest is almost a blur. You can recall his fingers spreading your folds, you whining for him to touch more of you. You can recall his mouth hovering your pussy, his tongue swirling around your clit. You can recall his fingers stretching you out and moaning out his name. It’s what came next that is very clear in your mind. Its him kissing your lips, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and his cock sliding between your folds. The desire you feel for him is very real and he can feel that.

“Please, Jungkook!” You gasp out, as he teases his cock at your entrance.

Jungkook slides his gorgeous cock into you inch by glorious inch. His cock twitching inside your pulsating pussy, his harsh breaths fanning your face. Jungkook slams his eyes shut, his teeth gritting in anticipation as he waits for you to give the ok. You only gasp for air as he bottoms out, his dick reaching places no one ever has before, you slowly nod your head giving him permission to fuck you into oblivion. He says he could, so you’ll believe him. .

Jungkook opens an eye to look at you carefully, your face contorted in pleasure showing him how you are indeed okay to go on. Jungkook’s hand massages your hips, his touch setting your skin on fire. He begins to slowly ease out of you until just the tip remains then he slams his hips into yours. His body falls forward and he lifts your head up with his free hand and brings you closer for a wild kiss. He grinds himself into you deliciously, his hips rocking back and forth causing you to moan out for him over and over.

“Please…please.” You pant, rolling your hips into his as you meet his desperate thrusts.

“Please what, princess?” he breathes out heavily, “Told you that when you’re with—” He begins fucking into you faster, “When you’re with me…to use your words.” His pace is bruising, causing you to choke on the air around you.

“Please, harder.” You manage to get out while gripping on to his wide shoulders, your finger nails digging into his soft skin.

Jungkook smirks down at you, his eyes shining with something you can’t quite describe.

“Harder?” he questions, his lips coming down to suck bruises into your neck. “Deeper too?” he bites a particular spot that makes you groan.

“Just—just need more of you…” you grab his hair by the handful and yank his head back and bring his face to yours. Your lips meeting his.

His tongue slips past your lips, tongues dancing to the beat of his thrusts. His cock is buried so deep within you that you feel you are no longer a single person but now a person merged with another. You have never felt more connected.

Jungkook whines at the sight of you—your lips apart and eyes barely open. Your head is thrown back showing Jungkook all the pretty blooming bruises on your skin.

“So fucking pretty.” He grits out, eyes lit on fire.

You’re barely able to respond as he thrusts into you even harder, your tits bouncing with each movement.

“Gonna come soon…” he says between heavy breaths, his pace becoming sloppy.

“Gonna come inside me?” you cry out, your fingernails digging into his back.

“Need you to come with me baby”

You could of came from his cock alone, that you are sure of but when his fingers meet your sensitive clit, you are seeing stars. He’s rubbing messy circles, easily sliding around from how wet you are, his fingers getting drenched.

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly his fingers bring you to orgasm.

You gasp out, voice hoarse from all the moaning and screaming he’s drawn from your body. “Fuuuuuucckk.” You whine, your orgasm leaving you breathless.

“I—I’m coming…” he pants in your ear, his breath tickling your sensitive skin.

He fucks into you quickly before stilling his hips and shooting his cum deep within you, decorating your walls. He doesn’t move. You don’t move. He stays buried to the hilt, breathing heavily into the crook of your neck. You aren’t much better, your breaths also harsh. You look to the nightstand to read the clock that says 4 AM. Fuck, what did you do?

You just fucked your best friend.

Panicked and out of breath, you sit up in bed. Sweat forming on your hairline and dribbling down the side of your face. Why? Why this dream of all dreams? Why this memory?

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

The Stars Were Bright Above | Peter Parker

✦ pairing — Peter Parker x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 12k

✦ fake dating AU

✦ summary — in an attempt to make your best friend Harry jealous, you accept to fake date Peter who needs to cover up his big secret.

✦ request — I just read your Harry series and I was wondering if you could do something similar where reader is in love with Harry and she fake dates Peter and falls for him?

✦ warnings — angst, family issues, mentions of food and alcohol, language, reader and Peter are in college, brief depictions of anxiety, sexually suggestive content, drama between friends, fluff.

✦ author's note — whew, this one was supposed to be a quick one shot that’d help me get back into writing after days with a horrible migraine and then I completely lost control of it. I managed to find a compromise in 12k words after an excruciating editing process. Hope it’s coherent and that you like it!

════════════════════════

“I would love to stop and chat,” you told Peter as you looked for your keys, “but I’m in a hurry.”

“I’ll walk you to your car.”

If only you could find the stupid keys first! Oh, well, you’d check your backpack once you were in the parking lot.

Peter could have used the time it took you to cross campus to tell you whatever it was he wanted to say. Instead, he fiddled with the straps of his backpack and walked beside you in complete silence.

“I need a favor,” he finally said when you stopped in front of your car. As though it hadn’t been obvious.

“Peter,” you sighed, trying to hold your open backpack against your knee. A horrible idea, really. “My mom will kill me if I’m late for lunch.”

He took your backpack in his hands and held it for you. “I... it’s embarrassing.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“It can’t wait!”

His tone made you lift your head. “Are you alright? Is your aunt sick or something?”

He shook his head. “It’s about May in a way... oh, that rhymed.”

“Focus.”

“Right, right. Uhmmm she thought I was hiding something from her—“

You interrupted, “Were you?”

“Kind of,” he admitted. “So I told her I have a girlfriend.”

“I didn’t know you were dating anybody.”

“I’m not.”

“So why did you—“ You groaned. “Oh my God, you’re an idiot.”

“I deserve that one.”

“You want me to convince Gwen?”

“Gwen? Why would—“ He shook his head. Avoiding your eyes, he said, “I told her it was you.”

“And she believed you?”

“I’m as shocked as you are!”

“So you want me to lie to your aunt and tell her I’m dating you.” You closed your backpack, having had no luck finding your keys.

“More or less.” Peter continued holding your backpack, patiently waiting for you to retrieve it. “I was thinking more along the lines of lying to everybody and tell them we’re dating.”

You brought a hand to your hair, lightly gripping it for a moment. “I’m not a good actress.”

“I think your keys are in your hoodie.”

You palmed the front pocket where the sound of metal against metal let you know he was right. Introducing your hand, you withdrew the keys. “How did you know?”

“I heard them.”

“You have amazing hearing.” You reached over to take your backpack.

He handed it to you. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

You unlocked the car and opened the back door on the driver’s side. Leaving your backpack onto the backseat, you heard Peter ask, “So... are you helping me?”

Standing straight, you turned to peer at him. You had to squint as the sun hit your face. “Can we talk later or tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Text me. Please.”

Peter had always been considerate with you and this time was no different. He patted your back before walking away on the opposite direction.

You bit your bottom lip. “Hey.”

Peter turned around. “Mmh?”

“Want me to drop you off?”

“Sure.”

It was nice to have some company in the car after a pretty lonely day. Gwen was nowhere to be seen and you didn’t share classes with Mary Jane. You had other friends, but they didn’t make you feel complete like Gwen, Mary Jane, Flash, Peter, and Harry did.

Harry...

You couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “Did you tell Harry?”

He didn’t sound surprised. “I was waiting for your answer. I told May she was the first person to know.”

You hummed. “What would I have to do?”

“She’ll want to confirm it’s true so you’d have dinner with us and then we would act like a couple in front of everybody.”

“Like a couple?”

“Just holding hands and hugging,” he clarified. “Maybe the occasional kiss on the cheek to throw people off their rhythm. Oh, and pet names!”

“You’ve got everything planned, huh.”

“My life depends on this,” he said dramatically.

“Do I get to know your secret if I say yes?”

He considered your question for a moment. “Eventually.”

You couldn’t believe you were doing this. “When should I come over for dinner?”

Peter’s eyes lit up. “Probably this weekend. I’ll ask May and text you.”

“Cool. I’ll talk to you later, then.”

He nodded. “Be safe.”

“You too.”

You pulled over a few blocks from your family home to put on some makeup, that way you would avoid the chastising that came every time your mom saw the bags under your eyes.

Wondering if Peter could tell the reason behind your helpfulness, you got rid of your hoodie and slipped a sweater on.

Doing this every time you visited after school was tiring, but it was better than putting up with meaningless fights.

Your mom was losing her patience when you arrived, you could see it on her face. She glared at you as you approached her to kiss her cheek. This and the fact that you couldn’t stand pretending so many aspects of your personality, were what lead you to choose to live on your own.

She hadn’t been too happy about it, but she was busy with the family business, her social life, and your sister to complain. Your dad always did what any of you wanted, mostly to make you three shut up.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry! Peter needed help with something.”

You sat down next to your sister who lifted an eyebrow.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately,” your mom suspiciously pointed out.

Oh, so she was keeping tabs on what you did on your free time...

The truth was there had never been anything between you and Peter.

You met him on his first day of college. He was the new kid everybody was intrigued by. Harry hated him at first and although you didn’t, you didn’t speak to him until Harry decided to stop being an asshole.

Now Harry was too busy with Liz, his gorgeous girlfriend, to care about you, his best friend.

It hurt, it really did. You befriended Harry when you were kids and had been inseparable up until now. Of course you had to put up with his weird flings, but he had never cast you aside for them.

You had harbored hope that he was secretly into you, but the less he spoke to you the more you realized he hadn’t found the one until he met Liz. That hurt even more — you were supposed to be the one.

Everything had played out in your mind from the moment you realized you had a crush on him. You would start dating in high school or college, get married, have kids, be a happy family...

But ever since he left you by yourself at a party when he was supposed to be your ride, you realized he hadn’t cared as much as you did.

Peter walked you to your apartment that night and made sure you drank plenty of water. He didn’t have to do it, Gwen and Mary Jane had already offered to do it themselves, but for some reason he felt like it.

You took a sip of water, realizing your mom and your sister were waiting for an answer. “He’s nice,” you opted for saying.

“Nice, eh,” you sister teased you.

“Yeah, nice. Is there a problem with that?”

You knew that attitude would only make them believe they were right in their assumptions. It was what Peter needed from you either way.

Truthfully, Peter wasn’t always nice, but you knew he tried.

“Are we waiting for dad?” you asked.

Your mom nodded. “He’ll be home any moment now.”

Your mom never complained when your dad was late, or when he was too busy to come home for lunch. You were used to it, she was biased in his favor — she had been since you were a child.

You checked your phone to keep yourself entertained. The Notification Center showed multiple badges, but the messages one caught your eye immediately.

Gwen💛: Missed you today.

You unlocked your phone to reply that you had missed her too when another text came in.

Pete: May said it would be cool if the three of us had dinner on Saturday.

You answered Peter first.

Sounds good to me. Just tell me what should I bring.

Your presence is more than enough, you’re our guest.

You huffed a laugh as you typed. Look at you trying to be cute.

I’ll have you know I’m extremely cute all the time.

Yeah, yeah. Should I bring dessert?

You don’t have to bring anything if you don’t want to.

I will strangle you the moment I see you, Peter.

Just say yes or no.

Maybe.

I hate you.

That’s not the proper way to treat your boyfriend :(

You could picture the glint in his eyes as he tried not to laugh.

You went along with it. I’m sorry, babe :(

I forgive you because I’m a nice boyfriend.

Won’t happen again. <3

Now let’s hope we can talk like that in person.

Are you daring me to sweet talk you in person?

Yes.

Your mom called your name. “Your dad asked you a question.”

You lifted your head. “Mmh?”

“No, no, continue texting,” he said sarcastically, “I have all day.”

You quickly typed TTYL and locked your phone. “Sorry.”

Your dad shook his head. “You and Harry always do this.”

“I wasn’t texting Harry,” you felt the need to explain. Harry didn’t deserve credit for this. “What did you want to ask?”

“I asked,” he remarked the word. “If you would be busy this weekend. Your sister won’t be.”

“I— uhmmm... I’m having dinner with Peter and his aunt on Saturday.” You saw your sister purse her lips beside you. “Did you need anything?”

“To spend time with my family.”

“I guess I can come over on Sunday or Saturday morning.”

“I was thinking about going out of town for the weekend,” he clarified.

“The three of you can go if you don’t want to wait another week,” you assured them. “I already told Peter I would have dinner with him and his aunt so I can’t cancel. I also have projects to do.”

════════════════════════

You rested your head on Gwen’s shoulder as both of you waited for Mary Jane in the cafeteria. They never made you feel like a third wheel even though they were dating so you never avoided spending time with them.

Mary Jane arrived accompanied by Peter. He looked extremely serious but he didn’t say anything as he stood across the table, staring at you like a child scared of saying what they had been up to. She elbowed him on the side before sitting down.

Peter got closer to you. “Can we talk?” he asked. “It’s important.”

You nodded, lifting your head off Gwen’s shoulder. As you stood up, you felt her hand squeeze yours which prompted you to turn and look at her.

She gave you a playful look that made you realize she wanted to know every detail once you were done. As your eyes crossed Mary Jane’s, you saw a similar sentiment in them.

“I’ll be right back,” you told them to pacify them.

He guided you to an empty area which wasn’t such an easy task. You ended up resting your shoulder against the wall, facing Peter while he looked around.

His eyes landed on you as he spoke in a hushed voice. “Can we start today?”

You mirrored his tone. “Fake dating?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay...”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“Well, you’re changing the plan,” you explained. You hated changing plans, even more so when you weren’t sure you were the right person to execute them.

“I know. Just a day earlier, though.” He unashamedly pouted.

“Okay,” you said, this time sure. “Any particular reason?”

“There’s this freshman who thinks I flirt with her just because I’m nice to her and she’s creeping me out. I feel like she follows me around.”

You sighed. “She just has a crush on you, don’t be a baby.”

“Please?”

“I already said yes, you baby.”

“You kinda like calling me baby, don’t you?”

You playfully shoved him “You’re so annoying.” However, before he could leave to do whatever it was he did in his free periods, you grabbed him by the wrist. “Does Mary Jane know about your plan?”

“No. Why?”

“You arrived together.”

“Ah. No.” He shook his head. “I was looking for you and asked her if she had seen you.”

“Makes sense.”

“Yeah...”

You shifted on your feet. “So what now?”

“Do you have class next period?”

“Sadly.”

He chuckled. “I’ll walk you to class.”

“Wanna hang out with us for a little bit?”

“I gotta talk to Flash.”

You wiggled your eyebrows. “Gonna ask him out too?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m never telling you who I find attractive ever again.”

“Good. Don’t wanna make your girlfriend jealous — do you, babe?”

Peter leaned over. His breath fanned on your face as he said, “Don’t worry, baby, I only have eyes for you.” He then kissed your cheek. “I’ll be right back. Wait for me with Gwen and Mary Jane.”

You nodded, hoping you didn’t look as stunted as you felt.

Both your friends stared at you, desperate to hear an explanation. You understood why, but you were still trying to come up with an excuse as to why you were so flustered over a kiss on the cheek.

You checked your phone, but there was nothing worthy of your attention.

Mary Jane spoke first, “What did Peter need?”

“We are a thing now.”

Gwen hummed. “But what did he need?”

“Permission to make it public.”

Mary Jane scratched her cheek. “Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

“You think he’d be a bad boyfriend?”

“I think you shouldn’t use him to make Harry notice you.”

That was harsh. Perhaps you deserved the reminder that Harry couldn’t care less about you, and perhaps you also deserved to feel bad for trying to use Peter against him — you would’ve preferred if the reminder didn’t come from your best friend.

“I’m not,” you partially lied. “I genuinely like Peter.”

True to his word, Peter walked you to class. You didn’t hold hands, it didn’t feel right, but he sweetly told you that he’d be waiting for you after your last class.

You saw Harry across the hallway, talking to Liz and one of her friends. For a second you thought he would walk towards you, the way he held your gaze had been almost cruel.

But he didn’t, he just gave you a nod and walked in the opposite direction, hand in hand with Liz.

You had better things to worry about. Your classes, your family’s expectations, helping Peter — reciprocal things to an extent. So why couldn’t you just get over the fact that Harry didn’t care about you?

Somebody poked you on the arm with their finger. Turning to the side, you found Flash who shot you a smile.

“What’s up?” you greeted him.

“We have a project to finish.”

You cursed under your breath. “Are you free on Sunday?”

“Nope.”

“Tomorrow?”

He tilted his head. “Yeah. I’ll drop by your place.”

“At what time?”

“Like 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Don’t wanna wake you up by mistake again.”

Peter laughed behind you, having caught that last part.

You ignored Peter. “I have something to do after 5. Why don’t you come over early? I promise I’ll be awake.”

Flash shared a look with Peter and then patted your shoulder. “Cool. See you tomorrow, sleeping beauty.”

Peter snickered, standing beside you now.

“Stop laughing.”

“I just can’t believe you’re that grumpy in the mornings.” He started walking towards the exit.

You walked beside him. “You don’t know the whole story.”

He opened the door for you and then followed your steps. “You can tell it tomorrow at dinner.”

Craning your neck go look at him, you asked, “You want your aunt to laugh at me?”

“I’ll defend you.”

You suddenly remembered that you didn’t know what you were supposed to do or say in front of his aunt. You had met her before, but that fact made this situation even more bizarre.

You tried to start with an easy question, “Should I wear a dress for tomorrow?”

“You can wear whatever you want,” he assured you.

Well, that wasn’t helpful at all.

════════════════════════

You checked the time on your phone and realized you had a message from Flash. He was on his way.

Looking around your bedroom, your eyes fell on the bed where a pile of clothes laid. The sight stressed you out, and even more the fact that you didn’t seem to be able to set your mind on an outfit.

You anxiously waited for Flash at the door, pulling it open the moment you were aware of his presence on the other side.

He lifted both eyebrows. You usually took your sweet time to answer the door.

“We sh—“

You interrupted him. “I need your help with something else first.”

Flash softly dropped the materials he had been carrying onto the couch as he gave you a skeptic look. “I’m not disposing of a body for you.”

You took him by the wrist, dragging him to your bedroom. It wasn’t an abnormal occurrence by any means, he honestly should have had expected it.

“God, not again.” He sighed as his eyes fell on the pairs of shoes scattered around the room.

“Come on, just tell me if I should wear that skirt.” You pointed at the black skirt on top of the mountain of clothing. “Or jeans.”

He opened his arms, unsure as to what to tell you as his hands stayed in an awkward angle.

“What would you want me to wear if I were meeting your family?” you encouraged him to help you.

He cocked his head, looking at you through his lashes. “A straight jacket.”

“Please take this seriously.”

Inhaling deeply, he set his eyes on the pile of clothes. “Is the skirt more comfortable than the jeans?”

“I’m not thinking about comfort.”

“Well, you should. You know May will make you squirm with her questions.”

“No skirt, then.”

“It’s just dinner,” Flash reminded you, “wear something casual.”

”Yeah,” you sighed, “just dinner.”

What an easy thing to say. You knew so few details that you might as well make a fool of yourself in front of May.

Flash ignored your semblance even though you knew he took note of it. He reached his hand into one of the bags he had been carrying then handed you a paper bag. “I brought breakfast.”

“Why didn’t you say so when you arrived?”

He glared at you. “Why don’t you get us something to drink instead?”

You ate breakfast sat on the living room floor while discussing your project. Flash wasn’t the most responsible person ever, but he was by far the best partner you ever had for a project.

However, his comment from earlier made you wonder something. Unable to hold it anymore, you asked, “How did you even know about the dinner?”

“Peter told me,” he answered simply.

“He did?”

“Why are you so shocked?”

You shrugged. “I thought we would wait a little bit longer.”

“Yeah, but it was bound to happen.”

“Don’t,” you warned him.

“Why not? I told you you’d end up having a crush on him.”

“Flaaaaaaaash!”

You hated to prove him right and although this was different, you wouldn’t lie and say Peter wasn’t attractive or crush material.

“Peter’s cool.”

“You don’t have to convince me, I’m already dating him.”

“I’m just pointing out that he’s an upgrade.”

There it was.

Flash took a dislike towards Harry when Harry started dating Liz which was normal because she was his ex, but it turned into vitriol really quickly.

Both Flash and Harry put Peter in an awkward situation the first few months. Now you didn’t know much about it — Harry complained about it with you at first, but he stopped.

“It’s different.”

“That’s the point, isn’t it?”

You frowned, looking into your half-empty cup of coffee.

“I can see through you.”

“Mary Jane told you her theory, didn’t she?”

“She thinks the same?” You nodded. He pensively hummed. “She didn’t tell me, to be honest. I’m only trying to look out for you and Peter.”

“I like him, I don’t know why you think I don’t.”

Flash didn’t spare you as he reminded you, “Because you said the same about your ex.”

“Yeah and look how that went!”

“(Name).”

“What?”

“Stop comparing guys you like to Harry and I promise you things will go well.”

He really could see right through you.

“I’ll stop. I promise.” Not knowing why, you added, “It’s not even that hard, Peter is... Peter. You know what I mean? Like how can you compare him to other people or other people to him?”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Oh no. “Do you like him?” you blurted.

Flash laughed softly. “Not in that way, no.”

“You sure? I don’t want things to be weird.”

“Peter might be handsome and cool,” he admitted, “but we wouldn’t work as a couple.”

“You think Peter and I would?” you incredulously asked.

“You will, yeah.”

You were truly nervous now. Not because of May’s potential questions or because you would have to lie — actually, you didn’t know where the nerves were coming from.

You just knew that Flash’s words resonated with you. He went from hating Peter to being his close friend which in your eyes meant he knew Peter better than anyone.

Did Flash know what Peter was hiding? Perhaps that was what he was alluding to when he assured you Peter and you would work as a couple.

The day went by extremely quickly. You weren’t mentally ready when Flash left or when you were on your way to Peter’s for that matter.

Peter was waiting for you in the lobby with hands in his pockets and shifty eyes.

“Is she like mad or something?” you asked instead of greeting him. You were ten minutes early so tardiness couldn’t be the issue.

He made a face, jerking his head as he gazed at you. He looked confused. “She’s just worried.”

What if she got angry at you when you hadn’t done anything? Peter told you to act normal, but normal you wasn’t madly in love with him.

As you approached the apartment, you found yourself thinking you were either going to ruin this or find out you deserved an academy award.

Peter opened the door and allowed you to come in first. May smiled at you before giving you a side hug in greeting.

“I brought dessert,” you told her as you parted from her.

“Oh, honey, you didn’t have to.”

Okay. Not angry yet.

She placed the dessert onto the table and motioned for you and Peter to sit.

Peter and you grabbed the chair at the same time. He opened his eyes wide, making you withdraw your hands immediately. He took the chair out for you.

Peter could be polite when he wanted, but you were getting worried. Since when did he treat the people he dated like this?

Nonetheless, you sat down.

May didn’t waste time and touched the subject pretty quickly. The moment she served dinner, she said, “I thought Peter was messing with me at first.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” he defended himself.

“Sure you wouldn’t,” she said sardonically.

“I thought he was messing with me when he asked me out, so I get it.”

Peter looked at you in shock and you unconsciously smiled at him.

May cooed. “I don’t understand why you two hid your relationship for months when you’re so cute together.”

“I didn’t want it to be awkward with our friends,” you quickly lied. “What if it didn’t work out or something?”

Your answer would have made sense if your relationship with Peter was real and that would be your strategy from now on. He couldn’t have a secret that would need you to lie that often.

May was so happy with your answers that the conversation deviated from you and Peter to everything but your love life.

You felt a little silly now, having expected the worst when Peter had already told you she was just worried.

He walked you to your car at the end of the night, something you guessed would become a common occurrence.

Things had gone well with May so you had no reason to think things wouldn’t go well with your friends.

You gnawed on the inside of your bottom lip. “Are things going to be awkward now?”

“Between us?”

You nodded. “I mean... saying shit is one thing, but you know...” God, you felt awkward already.

Peter frowned for a moment. “Give me your hand.”

Shifting on your feet, you asked, “You want your hand to be under mine or on top?”

“I don’t mind. You choose.”

You slid your arm under his, opening your palm but not touching him yet. He took the initiative and pressed his hand against yours.

“Is this okay?” he softly asked.

“Yes.”

He intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing a little bit. You huffed a laugh.

“This too?”

You nodded.

“Well, that’s the only thing that’ll change between us. We already hug pretty often.”

Oh, Peter gave the best hugs. Although Gwen was a close second, you preferred his because he was always warm. He also smelled good, but you had to give it to Gwen and admit she did too.

“I’ll see you on Monday, then, boyfriend.”

“Drive safe, girlfriend.” Before you could say anything, he added, “Text me when you get home.” Yet he didn’t let go of your hand immediately.

════════════════════════

Harry didn’t take the news of your relationship with Peter that well. The moment he saw you holding hands, he made his way towards you.

Peter squeezed your hand, easing your nerves. He was there, nothing could go wrong with Peter there.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” Harry drily asked you.

“In twenty minutes or so,” you softly answered.

“Well, can I talk to you?”

You turned to Peter, hoping he’d save you from an awkward conversation. Sure, you wanted a reaction from Harry, but not an angry one!

“It’s okay, baby.” Peter kissed your hair as he let go of your hand. “I’ll see you later.”

With a shaky sigh, you motioned Harry to lead the way.

He immediately asked, “Why Peter?”

You stuttered. “I... things just happened.”

“Did they have to happen with my other best friend?”

In a twisted way, they had to. But you couldn’t possibly tell him that. “You didn’t care when Gwen had a crush on him, why is this any different?”

His eyes sharpened. “It just is.”

Many things just were. That didn’t mean anything. You wished you had the courage to reply.

As always, you gave him the upper hand and allowed him to make another question. “It’s not serious, right?”

What were you supposed to say? The thing that’d make him angry or the thing that’d pacify him? How selfish of you to be thinking about making Harry jealous when Peter needed this to be believable.

“It’s too soon to know.”

Harry hummed, softly nodding. “I’ll walk you to your class.”

You frowned. He had never done something like that.

“You’re coming to my birthday party, right?”

You almost tripped as you answered, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Cool. I’ll see you there.”

Thirteen-year-old you was right when she thought boys were confusing, but Harry surely took the cake. You assumed he’d ask you to hang out more often given his reaction, but there he was telling you —on a Monday— that he’d see you on Saturday.

Harry’s attitude soured your entire morning. If classes were already unbearable, he made you want to skip each one of them. Your friends noticed, but nobody said anything.

What a horrible morning and what a horrible week it would be until his stupid birthday party rolled around and you’d have to see him show his girlfriend off.

Your friends decided to go to the coffee shop near campus after class and although you weren’t in the mood for socializing, you would rather suck it up than be by yourself.

Besides, coffee shops were always a good place to do homework and you had quite a few projects accumulated.

Peter rested his head on your shoulder in the same way you always rested yours on Gwen’s. You threw your arm around his shoulders as you rested your eyes.

“Are you getting sleepy?” you whispered in case he was.

“No,” he mumbled. “But I don’t wanna move.”

“I have to pick up my sister from the mall in a couple of hours so you’ll have to.”

He whined.

“Who would’ve thought Peter would be a clingy boyfriend,” Gwen teased.

“Literally anybody who has ever seen him drunk,” Flash continued teasing him.

Peter was red. He shifted, trying to hide his face on your shoulder.

In all honesty, you didn’t mind if he was clingy or not. You had been told you were a little too effusive when it came to affection so you had a soft spot for people who were similar in any way.

You withdrew your arm from his shoulders in order to continue typing on your computer.

Peter went back to his previous position, facing your computer too. “You made a typo,” he told you. “Third line on the second paragraph.”

Mary Jane arrived late and she seemed to be in a bad mood so Gwen made up an excuse in front of your friend group as though she knew something you didn’t —she probably did— and took her home.

Looking at the time, you realized it was time for you to get going too so you started to put your things away.

‘I’m leaving with Flash,” Peter reminded you. “Text me or call me if you need me. I might not answer quickly because we’ll be playing video games but just try for a second time, okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed your forehead. ”Drive carefully.”

You hummed. “Have fun, Pete.”

“You too, baby.”

Your mom didn’t give you many details when she asked you to pick your sister up. You didn’t even know with which friends she was hanging out with or why they were at the mall on a Monday and not somewhere more fun.

There you were, judging her like you hadn’t followed Harry like a puppy when you were her age.

She texted you that she was on her way to the entrance you were waiting at, telling you she had been all the way across.

It was probably a lie, but you’d let it slide.

Your sister tugged the door open and got into the car in silence, putting her cellphone away as she got comfortable.

“Did you have fun?”

She nodded and smiled at you.

You snickered and poked her cheek. “You have dried lipgloss all over your mouth.”

Your sister bashfully looked down.

You handed her a tissue. “Hey, it’s okay. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

She stayed silent for a small moment before worriedly asking, “Are you telling mom and dad?”

“No. But I’d like to know who it was.”

She whined. “Do I really have to tell you?”

You tried to put yourself in her shoes. You didn’t know how embarrassing it would have been for you to talk about your first kiss —or kisses— with a family member because nobody really cared when you started dating classmates.

But it didn’t sound fun so instead, you asked, “Are they your age?”

“Yup ”

“You promise?”

Realizing the question was serious, she nodded for emphasis. “Yes.”

“Cool. That’s all that matters.”

Your dad was home so you were forced to stay for dinner which again, was better than being on your own.

You couldn’t wait to either get together with Harry or over him. As things were going, you could only admit it would be the latter.

“Did your friend have a good birthday?”

Your sister looked at you before answering. “Yeah, we saw a movie.”

“What was the movie about?”

Your dad really tried to get along with both of you, you had to give him that. He was bad at it most of the time, but he tried.

Your phone started ringing. As you stared at the screen, you frowned. Unknown numbers rarely called you.

Hesitant, you answered, “Hello?”

“Hi, (Name),” May tried to speak sweetly. The moment you heard her voice, you stood up from your seat on the couch and left the living room. “Peter isn’t answering his phone, can you put him on the line for me?”

You walked into the adjacent studio, weirded out by her request. “He told you he’d be with me?”

“Isn’t he?”

“He is,” you said hurriedly, “I was just curious.”

“Can I talk to him now?” May laughed nervously.

“He went out to buy food and left his phone here. I’ll tell him to call you as soon as he’s back.”

“Thank you.”

You texted him multiple times as soon as May hung up.

May called. Where are you?

She sounded worried.

I had to lie and say you had gone out to buy food and forgot your phone in case she asks.

Hey.

Pete?

Dude, you’re scaring me.

PETER

Come on

Istg I will lose my shit if you’re messing with me

It’s not funny

You made your way towards the bathroom, needing to splash some water onto your face or something. Anything.

He couldn’t be so immersed in a video game as to not answer multiple calls or texts.

Why would Peter tell May he was with you when he could easily tell her he was with Flash? Was he not at Flash’s anymore?

Perhaps Flash would reply!

You texted him and called him dozens of times before giving up. You didn’t want to think the worst, maybe they were out buying something, but they could be in danger too.

Your hands started shaking pretty quickly when the idea of something happening to him overpowered your thoughts.

You needed to get out of that bathroom and back to the living room where a distraction could meet your anxiety before you went crazy.

So you splashed your face and bolted.

Back in the living room, you caught pieces of your dad’s conversation with your sister. He was boring her with business talk.

You had been in her place many times, and although his tone was more lighthearted with her because the expectations to follow in his footsteps were on you, it was clear he was trying to get her interested in things she didn’t even understand.

Your phone dinged. You immediately looked down.

Pete❤️: I’m okay

What the fuck, Peter?

Where were you?

Busy, sorry.

Did you call May?

Yeah.

Ok.

You didn’t know what else to say. ‘I had a shitty day and you almost gave me a panic attack’ didn’t sound appropriate. It would be truthful, but you couldn’t do that to him.

Where are you?

At my parents’.

He didn’t reply anymore so you locked the device and rested your head on the arm of the couch.

What a fucking day. If your week would be half as exhausting, you were ready to give up on the entire month in advance.

Remembering you were meant to ask if Mary Jane was okay, you unlocked your cellphone again.

As you finished typing your message to Gwen, one from Peter came through.

Can you come out for a few minutes?

Yeah. Give me a moment.

You took a deep breath, fixing your outfit as you slipped your phone into your pocket. You rounded the couch as you attempted to take the path towards the front door.

“Where are you going?” your sister asked.

“Outside. I need to give something to Peter.”

“Don’t take too long,” your dad told you.

You said a meek yes as if you were going to listen to him when you needed to inspect Peter from head to toe just to make sure he was truly okay.

You couldn’t bring yourself to speak as Peter slowly approached you. To his credit, he looked fine so he hadn’t lied.

He spoke first, as he should have, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad,” you mumbled.

He gave you a look.

Clearing your throat, you opened your arms only to slap your hands against your thighs in defeat. “You had me worried sick.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“Are you going to tell me where were you?”

“I can’t.”

You scoffed. “So I have to cover for you without even knowing what the hell I’m covering?”

He whispered your name, placing his hand on your cheek as he tried to make you look at him.

You closed your eyes. “I don’t mind lying for you,” you softly said, meaning it like you had never meant anything else in your entire life. “But don’t I deserve to know why I’m lying?”

He brought you onto his chest, holding you tight against him. “You do deserve to know,” he admitted. “And I’ll tell you everything, but not tonight.”

You were scared to ask why.

════════════════════════

Peter draped his arm over your shoulder, holding you close to him as the two of you stood with your group of friends.

You hadn’t been in that place in a long time but still remembered where every room was. You also knew in which one Harry would fuck Liz at the end of the night.

You took a sip of alcohol. It didn’t taste like much — a bad sign.

Your eyes fell on the beer pong table. A guy you didn’t recognize and Harry were playing against Mary Jane and Flash. That was a bad sign too.

“I’m gonna refill my cup,” you whispered in Peter’s ear, “do you want me to refill yours?”

He shook his head. “I’ve still got plenty.”

It took you a moment to move and he didn’t make a sign to having found it weird.

The kitchen was quieter, not by much but the change was nice. Something you had always disliked about Harry was his taste in music.

You crashed against a thin body.

Liz took you by the waist and you awkwardly placed your hand on her hip, each of you steadying the other. “Sorry,” both of you apologized at the same time.

“I was distracted,” you insisted.

She took her hands off you and you did the same. Liz extended her hand so she could refill your cup for you.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said as she refilled your cup. “Harry thought you wouldn’t come.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “You know how he is.”

You didn’t. Not anymore. You took your cup from her, thanking her before bringing it to your lips.

“Well, we’re all here,” you said in pretended optimism. “And we’re all having fun.”

She smiled, looking as pretty as ever. “Damn right we are!”

You went back to Peter while Liz took off to talk to some of her friends. Once again, he threw his arm over your shoulders, hand almost brushing your chest as it dangled.

Mary Jane was back, bored of playing. Flash asked Peter to team up with him. Peter removed his arm from you, telling you he’d be back.

You focused on Peter as he rolled his sleeves on his way to the table.

Feeling something move in your pocket, you took your cellphone out. Your dad was calling.

“I need to take this call,” you told your friends.

The air was cold in comparison to the inside of the house. You let your dad call again and answered the phone, already expecting some kind of bad news.

To his credit, he sounded disappointed while telling you the plans the family had made for the next day were cancelled. He said your mom was upset.

As a child you often heard excuses for his absence. He was busy, his success depended on sacrifices, he tried his best so you and your sister could have everything you wanted.

Harry always told you to be grateful that you had loving parents. You weren’t sure you had the same definition of love.

You still assured your dad you weren’t angry and promised to spend the day with your mom and sister. His silence as an answer to your offer was a reminder that he didn’t believe you were capable of fixing meaningful problems.

You didn’t show how much it hurt you, there was no point. He meant well, your mom and sister did too.

Leaving the party sounded appealing, but your friends didn’t deserve it. You sucked it up and went back to the house.

Peter and Flash were bumping fists when you approached the area. They had won the game.

You went directly to the couch, not in the mood for dancing. Peter walked towards you, fixing his hair.

Sitting down, he twisted his upper body. “Is everything okay?”

“My dad just cancelled tomorrow’s family plans and said mom’s kinda upset.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“Neither am I.” You changed the subject, “I’m surprised you won that game, though.”

“You don’t have faith in me?”

You swiped your tongue across your bottom lip. “I never said that. But you have to admit you’ve never been one for taking part in games. Last time I saw you play something, you got your ass handed to you by Flash.” Twisting your mouth, you tilted your head. He looked down. “You’ve never played sports, right?”

He didn’t answer.

You insisted, “Right?”

He hummed, nodding at the same time as though it made any sense.

“Were you even listening?”

“No,” he quickly admitted. “Can I kiss you?”

Oh. He had been looking down at your mouth.

He caught you off guard. You couldn’t say no, though, you didn’t want to say no. “Yes,” you answered him.

He started slow and sweet, with his hand on your cheek as the other rested on his lap. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, so you just closed your eyes and kissed him back, following his rhythm.

He slowly build the kiss up, sucking your bottom lip between his. Gripping the front of his sweatshirt, you boldly bit down his bottom lip in return.

Peter wrapped his free arm around you then he brought you closer, flush against him. His tongue tried to pry your mouth open in the exact moment you were about to do the same. Your tongues clashed together and instead of turning it all awkward, it only prompted you to grab him by the hair.

Peter hummed on your mouth and continued kissing you. Now he had both hands on your body, holding you tightly by the waist.

Maybe you could take him to another room, maybe you could feel his hands on you without the burden of your clothes.

His vice grip on you made you feel like floating and you suddenly wondered why you hadn’t made out with Peter before. It didn’t have to be anything serious, it didn’t have to go past messing around.

He was attractive, so were you. Why hadn’t you seen it before? Why had you denied yourself this when he was so good at kissing and his touch was so rough you were sure he would leave marks? And you wanted him to do it, you wanted him to let himself loose on you.

Fuck, you were getting horny over your fake boyfriend.

And as if he knew exactly what was going on inside your hazy mind, he attached his lips to your neck. It was over, you were done — it would be a failure if you didn’t manage to take him to a private room or back to your apartment.

Resting a hand on his thigh as you pushed yourself over, you felt the vibration of his throat as he whimpered while you kissed him.

Something buzzed under your hand, prompting both of you to part. Panting, you stared at each other for a moment. His hair was a mess and he had never looked prettier.

He withdrew a hand from your body to take his cellphone out. You knew the mood had completely been killed when he sighed and locked the device.

“I need to do something,” he announced as he stood up. “I’ll be back.”

What? You didn’t have a chance to react, he just left you there, hot and bothered.

════════════════════════

You padded your way toward the kitchen for the second time since you had gone to bed. Sleep wasn’t necessarily elusive that night, but you found yourself waking up every hour.

Turning the lights on, you looked at the time. Almost 4:00 am. You filled a glass with water and slowly drank it.

You knew the tough day you had with your family was still doing a number on you even though you had left early, you also knew you should have been used to it by now.

Tapping against glass took you out of your mind, bringing you goosebumps. As the sound continued, you realized it was coming from the living room.

You considered going back to your room and locking yourself up which sounded safer, but curiosity overpowered logic.

A figure loomed over the windowpane. You wondered if your mind was tricking you — you lived in the fifth floor.

The figure became clearer as you got closer to the window. You let out a relieved sigh. Spider-Man waved. You tilted your head — why would Spider-Man want to visit you?

Maybe he was hurt and needed help.

You opened the window. “Can I help you?”

He nodded upward, letting you know he needed to come in. You let him, moving to the side.

He took the liberty to close the window once he was inside. You stood before him, assuming he would verbally tell you what he needed.

He wasn’t hurt from what you could see. He walked just fine, his breath wasn’t ragged... You were more confused now.

Reaching to the back of his head, Spider-Man took the mask off. Brown eyes bore into yours.

“You wanted to know what I was hiding...” Peter trailed off.

“You’re joking.”

He stepped closer to you. “I’m not.”

He had to. His sense of humor wouldn’t match a joke like this, but he had to.

The suit didn’t look like a cheap costume, but there had to be another explanation. Yes, it made sense — every time he disappeared out of nowhere and worried you sick, those days he sported black eyes or cuts on his face... but you didn’t want this to be the truth.

You dragged your finger down his arm to feel the texture of the suit.

Peter took a deep breath.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

“It’s okay, baby,” he huskily said. When he got no answer, Peter added, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you baby.”

You inhaled deeply. “I get it, you’re getting used to it.”

He hummed, eyes on you as he sighed.

You placed your hand on his bicep. “Are you okay, Pete? I’m not going to tell anybody if that’s what worries you.”

His hands found their place on your waist. You leaned closer, seeking his warmth. Peter opened his mouth to say something, then decided against it.

He leaned in and kissed you, tentative as he gave you time to push him off you. But you didn’t, why would you?

You ran your hand through his hair as you kissed him back, already familiar with the shape of his lips and the warmth of his mouth.

He pushed you onto the wall as he shoved his tongue inside your mouth. His kiss became sloppy while his hands started wandering down.

He gripped your thighs, bringing your legs up so you’d wrap them around his waist. Both of you ground against the other, sloppily kissing. You could hear the sound your mouths were making and feel his hot breath on your face.

He was driving you crazy.

Peter didn’t stop there. Giving you room to breathe, he lowered his mouth to your neck where he took his time to find your sweet spot.

You felt his fingers up your thigh, where he played with the edge of your sleeping shorts.

He kissed, sucked, and licked his way up to your ear. “Is this okay?”

You hummed against his mouth before kissing him again pawing at his suit, desperate to feel his skin under your fingertips. Frustrated, you broke the kiss. “How do you even take this thing off?”

He chuckled and gave you another kiss. “I’ll teach you.”

“Are you gonna strip for me?” you joked. Why were you making jokes right now?

Peter tilted his head. “Is that what you want?”

The idea wasn’t bad at all, yet you answered truthfully, “I just want to touch you.”

He didn’t deny you anything that morning. You couldn’t remember the last time you enjoyed yourself that much with a sexual partner.

You didn’t leave an inch of his body untouched, relishing in his reactions. He wasn’t ashamed to tell you if he liked something, or to ask you to touch him firmly.

Peter didn’t hold back either. All he wanted was you and you weren’t complaining. He gripped you tightly and sucked on your skin as much as he was able to.

There would be bruises on you by the next day, and there would be scratches on him if his powers didn’t heal him quickly.

You liked this side of him, the side that fucked you into the mattress and groaned above you. He wasn’t scared of breaking you or hurting you — for a moment you wondered how it would feel if he did it.

He came on your belly then cleaned you up afterwards which was more than appreciated. You weren’t even sure you could speak properly when he asked if you needed water.

He brought you a glass either way, of course he did.

The sun was up when you were done, too tired to move and too spent to complain. Peter was back on the bed, warm body pressed against yours.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No,” you tiredly answered. “I’m good.”

He held you tighter, laying his head on your chest.

You lazily dragged your fingers down his spine. “Is everything okay?”

“It was a long night,” he told you in a low voice.

You chose to believe he had visited because he thought you could provide him comfort, and you also decided that you always could — that you were okay with doing so. Even if most things about your relationship were fake, this one didn’t have to be.

════════════════════════

Peter and you never talked about it, and although you would have liked to hear the reasons behind his actions that night, you didn’t need to because it continued happening.

Having sex made pretending easier. He always had an arm around you or a hand on your body around your friends and by now you not only were used to his touch but sought it.

You often woke up next to him, sometimes clothed and sometimes naked. He always woke up before you, but he never left immediately. You wanted to know why.

Flash had been right to assume you’d develop a crush on Peter and now you had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t just a crush anymore.

You worried about him and wanted to be around him every second of every day, you liked hearing him tell you about his classes and his day — you liked that he always asked about yours, that he was willing to drop things for you because you would drop everything to be there for him.

Covering for him became a reflex. You had an inkling that May knew you were lying sometimes, but she never said anything according to Peter.

Your friends were happy with the development of your relationship which would have been lovely if this was real. But now you worried that the supposed breakup would disrupt your friend group.

It was hard not to think about it. The day would surely come and you’d be by yourself most of the time again. As if that was the only problem.

And problems continued rolling onto you. The last person you expected to see was at your door.

Harry gave you a smoldering look as you stood speechless. “Are you letting me in?”

You did.

He sat down on the couch, making himself at home even though he had barely visited your apartment.

“I thought you were sick,” he said in reference to the fact that you cancelled plans with your friends the day before.

“I was busy.”

Disgust contorted his face as his eyes fell on your neck. “Busy fucking my best friend?”

You flinched at his tone.

“I should’ve known you were only spending time with him because you wanted to get him into your bed.”

He said it as though you were the type of person to fuck anybody you met, as though you hadn’t rejected people because they weren’t him specifically.

“Believe it or not,” you coldly lied, “I started dating him months and not days before your birthday. You would’ve known about it if you talked to me.”

“Rubbing it on my face, aren’t you? Do you know how embarrassing it was to hear you were making out with him at my house after I told my friends multiple times that you were off limits?” He was seething, expelling droplets of saliva as he reproached you.

“Why would you do that in the first place? You knew I’d end up dating somebody who goes to the same school as us.”

“Why would you go for my best friend specifically? Don’t you care about my relationship with him?”

“Is this what our friendship has come to be? A reproaching fest?”

“You’re the one who crossed the line.”

“Harry, you didn’t have a problem when half our friend group drooled over him!”

“Because that’s different. I know Peter, he’s not right for you.”

You incredulously scoffed. “Funny how you’re the only one who says that.”

“I’ve never been wrong about the guys you’ve dated.”

Well, you couldn’t argue against that. But Flash was right, those guys hadn’t been the problem — the fact that you compared them to Harry was.

“Let time prove either of us right.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“What?”

“You promised nobody would ever be more important than me.”

You both promised a lot of things as kids... that you would never bring dates to an event you could attend together, that you would attend the same college, that you would be part of the same friend group your entire lives, that you would tell each other everything...

“I’m not saying Pete is more important than you, I’m j—“

“Break up with him, then.”

“You’re making it sound like I have to choose between you and him.”

“Because you have to.” When he didn’t get an answer, he added. “I’ll give you time to think it through.”

You wanted to do anything but think. You wanted to have your best friend back — you didn’t care if he was jealous anymore, you never should have. You weren’t Liz, it was okay, he liked her and you liked somebody else.

“Harry, come on...”

But Harry walked himself out and forced your words to die in your throat.

You never thought he would be as angry as you wanted him to be. You got your anger and your jealousy and your dilemma. He had it all clear, you were the idiot who had to get into this mess.

A shower and a portion of your comfort food later, you decided that you couldn’t be inside your head right now and left your apartment.

It was drizzling. Such a perfect weather to be inside doing everything or nothing alike.

You loved being by yourself at your place. The plan for the day had been just that. But as always, Harry made you change them.

Chastising yourself for forgetting your phone at home, you knocked on the door in front of you.

The door opened and you were greeted with a smile.

You wished you could’ve smiled back. “Hi, May, is Peter home?”

She motioned for you to come in. “He’s in his room. Do you want something to drink?”

“Not now, thank you.”

You knocked on his door, hoping he would answer before May could tell something was wrong with you.

Peter yelled for you to come in. You were an idiot, he probably had heard you talking to his aunt.

Pushing the door open, you stuck your head in. “It’s me,” you softly said just to make sure you had his permission to come in.

“Come in, baby.”

God, not that pet name. Not now.

You closed the door behind you before facing him. He was sat at his desk, writing something down on a notebook as he looked at the computer screen.

Approaching him, you leaned in to see what he was doing. You didn’t understand much of it, science was his thing.

He rotated the chair to face you. “What’s up? You didn’t text me...”

“Forgot my phone at home.”

Peter frowned and dropped his pen on top of the notebook before standing up to move towards his bed. “Are you alright?”

Did you look that bad? You weren’t wearing makeup, but he had seen your bare face plenty of times to be weirded out.

“Can I have a hug?”

Now sat on the bed, Peter opened his arms and legs so you’d make yourself at home between them.

And you did. You hugged yourself to him as tightly as you could, afraid he would let go at any moment.

He didn’t let go, you should have known he wouldn’t — your mind was playing tricks with you, that was it.

“What happened? Why are you upset?”

You didn’t have the heart to tell him. Not yet, not when you were scared he would cut you off from his life just because Harry thought it was for the best.

“Had a long day yesterday and didn’t want to be alone today,” you mumbled.

“Why don’t we watch a movie?” he offered. “I’ll let you pick which one we watch while I go get some snacks.”

You whined. “I don’t wanna move.”

“It’s just like ten minutes. We’ll cuddle the entire runtime.”

“You promise?”

He kissed your forehead. “I promise.”

It amazed you how easy it was to trust him, to like him, to want to be with him no matter the moment or the activity.

It took you longer to pick a movie than it took him to come back. You didn’t want any snacks, but you still took them because you didn’t want him to worry too much.

You would worry on your own later.

Peter hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. His hands rested on your belly as he watched the movie, giving you butterflies every time he laughed against your skin.

How were you supposed to give this up when it felt so good?

════════════════════════

Mary Jane sat across from you, playing with the glass between her hands. She was listening to you, but by the way she was tapping her fingers against the glass, she was dying to interrupt.

You went on and on because you still couldn’t believe Harry would make you choose between him and somebody else. It didn’t even make sense when he had thrown you and Peter to the side when he started dating Liz.

When her time came, Mary Jane spoke, “You shouldn’t care about what Harry says.”

“I care more about the fact that I ran to Peter like a fucking idiot.”

“He’s your boyfriend.”

You knew she was trying to be the voice of reason, but no, he wasn’t. That made it worse. “But doesn’t it make it look like I already chose?”

“Kinda,” she conceded. “But that’s not a bad thing necessarily.”

“Harry and I grew up together.”

“And Peter fucks you stupid. They have different roles in your life.”

You remained silent. Your cup was already empty and you didn’t need more caffeine. In fact, a soothing tea would have been a better choice — you needed to drive after this once your sister was done with her friends.

“Do you still like Harry or something? I will kill you if you say yes.”

You got that from her tone, she didn’t have to tell you. “I don’t know.”

“But you like Peter more... Right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Maybe liking was selling it short at this point.

Peter didn’t make you choose, and if anything between you were real he wouldn’t make you choose either. You were so sure that you would’ve bet your own life on it.

That fact was a problem. Why couldn’t Harry be like Peter?

“Maybe I need another opinion,” you mused out loud.

“Gwen will tell you the same.”

“What about Flash? Maybe if he had all the details...”

“Flash will try to convince you to kill Harry in his sleep.”

“You think so?” Of course he would, but you were desperate.

“He’s team Peter all the way. Honestly, I would think they have something going on if Peter wasn’t so into you.”

You avoided looking at her. “What should I do?”

“What do you want?”

“Just... I don’t know. About what? From what?”

“Do you want to choose?”

“No.”

“You could choose neither of them.”

“But—“ You shook your head.

“No, say it.”

“I can’t.”

Mary Jane wouldn’t pressure you to talk, she wasn’t that kind of person.

“At least tell Peter about it before Harry does,” she advised.

“I’ll tell him once I’m done here.”

It was late when your sister met you at your table. Mary Jane had left two hours earlier and you had even entertained yourself looking around a few stores and come back.

You drove in silence, allowing her to talk if she wanted to. Maybe asking something would’ve been better, but you didn’t have the energy to find out who your sister was dating or why she had decided to hide it.

Enough was already on your plate, and you needed to trust her, unlike your parents.

Stopping the car, you waited for her to get inside. Your mom hurried outside the moment she opened the door and walked towards your car.

She made you a sign with her hand, asking you to roll the window down.

With a sigh, you indulged her.

“Dinner tomorrow,” she drily told you. “You should bring Peter, I think it’s time your dad meets him.”

“Mom, I’m not marrying him or something like that.”

“I don’t care. Bring him.”

Great. Another fucking problem you had to deal with now. Your dad had always been clear on the type of person he wanted for you and Peter was not it. A shame, really.

“I’ll ask if he isn’t busy,” you compromised.

She looked happy with that. Your mom wished you a good night and turned around. You watched her get inside the house, wondering if she truly wanted you there the next day or not. You never knew with her.

You didn’t get to talk to Peter that night. Instead of telling him you wanted to see him so you could talk in person, you told him your parents wanted to have dinner with him.

Peter said yes immediately and asked about the dress code. God, you didn’t even want to think about clothes.

And with good reason — it wasn’t fair that everything suited him. There was no color or style Peter couldn’t pull off.

But it was probably for the best, he’d make a good impression that way.

You wanted your dad to like him and your sister to trust him and your mom to laugh at his lame jokes. You wanted them to see the person you desperately wanted to be in your life until your last day alive.

Truthfully, you didn’t care if he had feelings for you like you did for him. You enjoyed being around him, his friendship was enough.

The surprise the two of you got when Norman and Harry stood up to greet you was extremely hard to hide.

Norman gave you and Peter a warm smile. “I told Harry to bring his girlfriend, but he didn’t listen to me.”

You shifted on your feet, using Peter as leverage to ground yourself by squeezing his fingers between yours.

Your mom smiled tightly. “Next time it will be.”

Much like Flash did with you, Norman talked wonders about Peter to your parents.

You avoided looking at Harry with the pretense of being polite by gazing at whoever was speaking. Such gesture didn’t sit well with him and he showed it by standing up and walking towards you.

Harry inhaled deeply. “Can we talk in private?”

Unconsciously, you turned to look at Peter. He patted your thigh in encouragement.

“Sure,” you feigned enthusiasm.

You walked across the house in silence, wishing he would tell you to forget about what he said before.

Harry stared at you as you looked around the backyard. Not only were you avoiding speaking first, but you were confused as to when the lighting fixtures had been changed.

The spot you were awkwardly standing at had witnessed many secrets being exchanged between you. Perhaps it would be witness and accomplice of your fallout too.

“So you’ve made your choice.”

“Harry...”

His furious eyes bored into yours. “Why the fuck did you bring him?”

“I wanted to,” you confessed. “Mom told me I should and I agreed.”

“We never bring dates tho dinners like these. We promised,” he reminded you.

“He’s not just a date, this is different.”

“I didn’t invite Liz because I keep my promises.”

“You didn’t invite Liz because you didn’t want to.” You hated that he couldn’t own up to his mistakes with her when he loved her so much. “Stop holding a stupid promise I made when I was six against me.”

“You wouldn’t have liked it if I brought her here while you were single.”

“You stopped talking to me the moment you started dating her. I would’ve expected it.”

“So you went and tricked my best friend into a relationship.”

Was that he thought about you? That you manipulated or forced people to be around you?

“Your best friend? You barely talk to him anymore, Harry. And don’t you dare tell me it’s Liz’s fault.”

He ignored your first comment. “Now I will get in trouble with her for not taking her here if she sees pictures.”

“Call her and tell her the truth. Or blame me, I don’t care.”

“It is your fault,” he bitingly said, “you brought him to something special for us.”

“I didn’t even know you’d be here! And honestly, you should be happy for me.”

“I would be if he wasn’t my best friend.”

“Again with that...” You sighed, hoping you could find the right words. “I don’t want to choose, Harry, and it fucking hurts that you from all people are putting me in this situation God knows why.”

“I’ve told you before, it’s because Peter is—“

You interrupted him, “Peter being your best friend doesn’t matter, he’s not going to drop you like you dropped us.”

“I know I dropped you for a while, but Liz needed my attention.”

You didn’t blame him for focusing more on her, or for wanting to spend most of his time with her, but you knew for a fact that Liz made time for her friends; Harry could’ve done the same.

You started tearing up There was the problem, Harry couldn’t make time for you or Peter or Gwen even when he was free.

Harry stammered, but not a single word came out of his mouth after that. It only made you cry harder. Did he not care even a little bit?

“I’ll give you a moment alone,” he finally mumbled.

You walked further down the backyard, cursing yourself for crying and for wearing uncomfortable shoes. You were supposed to look pretty and taller, not to ruin your makeup and walk around furniture and plants.

You sat on the couch before deciding to lay down on your side. You used to do that when you were a kid too. You’d wait for the pool to be ready in that position and you would lay on your back when you wanted your mom to ask if something was wrong.

Right now, you weren’t sure what you wanted. You definitely didn’t want to talk to whoever the approaching steps belonged to.

You still looked up as a figure stood before you.

Peter crouched down and reached over to wipe your tears. The gesture made more tears come out.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, placing a hand on your waist and slipping his other hand to your back to make you sit up. He sat down beside you. “Come here.”

Peter brought you closer, making you rest your head on his shoulder.

“I don’t understand why he’s making me choose between you and him,” you lamented.

“He is?”

Fuck. You had assumed Harry had told him and that was why he was there. “I didn’t know how to tell you...”

Humming, he rubbed your arm up and down. “You can tell him the truth if you want.”

You lifted your head off his shoulder, searching for his eyes. He didn’t seem to mean it in a bad way. You shook your head.

“Are you sure? I can tell him if you want.”

“It would be pointless.”

“I don’t like seeing you cry.”

“We should change the subject then.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just...” Peter pursed his lips, second-guessing his next words. “It pains me to see you upset.”

“Peter,” you pleaded, “don’t do this to me.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You’re making everything more difficult than it already was.”

He slanted his head, taken aback. “Because I care about you?”

“Because I think I’m in love with you.”

Peter blinked rapidly before his eyes started dancing all over your face as though he was waiting for you to say something else.

But you didn’t have much to say anymore. All your cards were on the table. Although you had to admit his lack of response would drive you insane if he continued looking at you like that.

“You don’t have to say anything,” you lied. “I’m okay with being just friends. I just thought you should know.”

“No, no, no.” He shook his head, taking himself out of his self-absorption. “I feel the same, I promise! But... I don’t want to ruin your friendship with Harry.”

“So you’re making me choose too?”

“No. I just don’t want you to regret being in a real relationship with me because you lost your best friend.”

“It wouldn’t be your fault.”

“Yeah, you’re right...” Peter looked up at the sky and huffed a laugh.

You mirrored his movement. The sky was clear, allowing you the privilege to gaze at the stars.

“Remember that night I walked you to your place and we stopped in the middle of the street to look at the stars?”

You giggled. You had been on the verge of crying that night after Harry ditched you for Liz if it hadn’t been because Gwen distracted you. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Should I have kissed you that night?”

You weren’t sure, it was hard to know if you would’ve kissed back or not. You wanted to believe you wouldn’t have, but who knew. “Does it matter?”

“No.” Peter twisted his body and cupped your cheek so you’d look at him. You softly smiled at him and he gave you a small kiss. “Not anymore.”

[my-unmanageable-mischief]

Cuddle Puddle for Four

For the lovely anon who requested : Could I request a fic where you’re not feeling well (physically or mentally) so the Marauders come in and snuggle with you in your bed and you’re all very touchy with each other and it’s just very cute. Maybe some wolfstar and James x reader? No rat please!

 Light James Potter x Reader, and light Sirius Black x Remus Lupin

Warnings : Insinuated Bipolar disorder and mental health

The moment your classes were done on Friday you retreated to your dorm room, crawling into bed, and burying yourself beneath the covers and letting yourself cry into your pillow. You felt miserable. Your week had started high, you felt like you could do anything. You were doing school work like it was a breeze, laughing, joking and being an all around joy. You were on a wonderful high. But like all good things, it came to an end, suddenly and all at once, and you entered a depressive episode. Everything hurt. Your head, your chest, your body, your soul. You wanted to crawl into a hole and die. 

So you stayed in bed all weekend, alternating between looking at the ceiling and staring at the wall, a girl needed variety after all. Friday turned into Saturday and Saturday into Sunday. Your dormmates tried several times to get you to come eat with them; to do something. But you brushed them off, saying you were ill. Lily dutifully brought you food at every meal but it went untouched. You couldn’t eat. All you could do was alternate between crying pathetically and sleeping. 

Finally Monday rolled around and you still didn’t leave your safe haven of a bed. 

“Y/N,” Lily stuck her head into your curtains which had remained shut the entire time, she looked at you worried and you wanted her to stop. You were fine. Or at least you would be, once you were left alone. “Class is starting soon.”

“I am sick, Lily.” You muttered, not looking at her, “Tell them I don’t feel well.” Lily perched herself on the edge of your bed. 

“Alright. But you should try and get up, shower, it might make you feel a bit better.” You knew she was right, Merlin, why did she always have to be right? 

“Okay,” You nodded slightly, “I will,” Maybe. Lily nodded and stood from your bed, shutting your curtains again when she left, and you listened to her leave the room fully before you let out another small sob. 

Down in the common room The Marauders stood waiting for Lily to reappear and when she did James jumped forward, eyes wide with worry. 

“Is she okay? Is she coming to class?” He asked, and Lily shook her head. They had become mates slightly ever since he got over his crush for her and stopped bothering her all the time. 

“She said she’s sick.” Everyone shared a look, knowing what that meant. They all left for lessons for the day, unable to focus as they were worried about you the entire time. 

You continued to lay in bed for some hours before eventually peeling yourself from the sheets. Lily was right, you should shower. You went to the bathroom, turning the water as hot as it would go before getting in. You allowed the burning water to wash over you, even going as far as to shampoo and condition your hair. Lily would be proud. Once done, you changed into a clean pair of sleeping shorts and one of Sirius’s old oversized t-shirts before climbing back into bed, where you remained until the sun set again. Another miserable day gone by. You heard the bedroom door open and footsteps came to your bed, stopping just outside, the curtain was pulled back revealing Lily. 

“Y/N,” She greeted, you nodded your head. 

“Hullo.” 

“The boys said they need you,” You looked slightly nervous as you sat up.

“Is everything okay?” You asked and she shrugged her shoulders. 

“They said it was Marauder business and they need you in their dorm immediately.” She informed you and you sighed. You sat up and she smiled slightly at you, noticing your slightly wet hair and new pajamas. You got out of bed and pulled on a fuzzy pair of socks before going towards the door. Only a Marauders emergency could get you out of your bed at a time like this. 

“I’ll be back,” You muttered before disappearing through the door, Lily let out a sigh, glad the plan had worked. You went down to the common room, not looking at anyone as you went to the boy’s staircase and up to their room. You knocked once on the door before entering. James was sitting on his bed and he grinned widely when he saw you, Sirius was laying on the floor next to Remus who was resting his head on the other boy’s shoulder. 

“Y/N!” James greeted, leaping up.

“Nice shirt,” Sirius stated with a loud laugh. You mustered a small smile and looked around the room.

“Where’s the fire?” 

“No fire.” James admitted, coming to stand in front of you, your face fell. 

“What?” 

“We just wanted to see you, make sure you were alright.” You frowned. They tricked you. 

“I’m fine,” You snapped slightly, but James wasn’t deterred. “I was laying in bed. Fine.” 

“Well you can do that here, too.” He assured, and the other two boys nodded eagerly. You considered your options. Go back to your dorm and lay alone in your own bed, with your own stuff, or you could lay down in James’ bed for a bit, being entertained by the people whom you loved most. 

“Fine,” you sighed, “I’ll stay.” James grinned and took your hands, leading you over to his bed. You sat down and he sat beside you, putting an arm around your shoulder. You pulled the covers up from the foot of his bed, and laid down, wrapping them around you and James. James laid beside you, pulling you close to him. 

“Hey, no fair, I wanna join,” Sirius said, scrambling off the floor and pulling Remus with him. How they planned on doing that was beyond you, it was a twin sized bed for Merlin’s sake. You all stood up momentarily, trying to figure out this puzzle. Eventually Sirius laid down, allowing Remus to lay across his body, James plopping down next to Sirius before pulling you on top of him. You chuckled softly and pulled the blanket over all of you, snuggling into James’ chest and wrapping an arm around Remus who hugged you back. You were a mess of limbs in the tiny bed. James wrapped both his arms around you, one hand rubbing your back as the other one played with your hair. Remus held your one hand and Sirius clung to the other, his free arm wrapped around Remus. 

“We need to pull another prank soon, people are gonna think we went soft.” Sirius was the first to break the comfortable silence. 

“No one is gonna think you lot went soft.” You chuckled. 

“If they saw this, they would.” Remus snickered and you giggled. James and Sirius both frowned. 

“We’re not soft!” James argued. You made like you were going to get up, smirking.

“Then we better stop cuddling,”

“NO!” He cried out, pulling you back down into him, pushing your head onto his chest before dropping a kiss onto the top of your head. “You’re not going anywhere.” You smiled to yourself and yawned. 

“But I’m sleepy.” You whined.

“So sleep.” James mocked you, whining back. 

“Here?” You asked, slightly surprised. 

“Course, you’ve been hiding from us for three days now, you’re not leaving my sight.” You smiled and nuzzled your nose into the crook of his neck, planting a small kiss there. 

“You’re the best, all of you.” 

“I know,” Sirius grinned, reaching out to pat you on the head. 

“You’re the best, dear.” Remus corrected, looking at you with warm eyes. 

“Shucks, Remmy, you’ll make me blush.” You smiled.

“Of course, don’t tell the others but you’re my favorite.” James scoffed and Sirius frowned. 

“I thought I was your favorite!” 

“No, you’re the biggest pain in the arse,” He corrected him. 

“And I’m the prettiest,” James decided, batting his eyelashes.

“And Remmy is the nicest.” You added, yawning again. James pulled the blankets tighter around you all, kissing your head again. 

“Go to bed, love.” He murmured against your hair, and you yawned once more, letting your eyes fall shut. 

“Only because you asked so kindly, Jamie.” 

“I love when you call me that.” He smiled, resting his head on Sirius’s shoulder, who turned his head to kiss James on the side of his head before turning to kiss Remus on the top of his. 

“Oi, Y/N, come ‘ere. Can’t reach you. Get your kiss goodnight.” You scoot over in the bed, craning your neck so Sirius could kiss you on the cheek before collapsing back into James. 

“Goodnight, love you all.” You whispered. 

“Love you too,” James murmured. Remus took your hand again and squeezed it tightly. 

“I love you.” He stated. 

“I love you all more,” Sirius grinned causing everyone to giggle. You were happy, for the first time in days. You drifted off into the most restful sleep you have ever had, listening to James’ heart beating beneath you. You had no idea how you got so bloody lucky, to be surrounded by the people you loved, who loved you back entirely and fiercely. You all slept like that, in one big pile of cuddling. Arms around each other, faces nuzzled into necks and crooks, legs tangled. You were the luckiest girl in the entire world.

[scarletwinterxx]

that time i knew i liked you too

as always, I was melting everytime the dreamies release new content. Hyuck just looked so adorable I cannot handle it. So here’s another scenario with him😊🌻

for my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

“No no put me down, let me at him. Jeno, put me down” you said as you trash around Jeno’s shoulder. How you got there is a repeated story that always starts when you and Haechan are in the same room. 

“No, you’re going to hurt someone”

“Yea, I’m going to hurt him. Let me down, stop using your strength on me” you pounded your palms against his back but he just continued walking further away from Renjun who was holding Haechan back from you

“Would it hurt the two of you to just admit you like each other?” you hear Jaemin ask from beside you “Want to get smacked too? for the last time I don’t like him” 

Jeno finally put you back down on your feet, the two guys looking at you with a ‘we don’t believe you but we’ll pretend we do’ look

“I don’t!”

“Mhm, sure we’ll go with that” Jeno told you with a smile, his eyes disappearing completely while he does. This time instead of manhandling you, he just threw his arm casually around your shoulder but you know he’s trying to make sure you won’t run back to where Haechan was. 

“There’s a very thin line between love and hate” Jaemin mumbled, you looked over at him with a glare making the boy shoot his hands up in surrender. 

The chaotic relationship between you and Haechan started with friendly banters, he was a natural joker, the mood maker of the group. You on the other hand, is the exact opposite. 

When you exchanged schools, only knowing your cousin Jeno, he was quick to introduce to his group of friends. Ofcourse they were very nice and welcoming, you were on the same year as the four of them: Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin and Haechan. Soon after that you became an honorary member of that group, girls and some guys would sometimes ask favors from you to set them up with the guys. This always made you wonder why, not really understanding the craze other people have over your friends. In your eyes they were pretty normal, at times weird most times too loud.  

“Remember that time you threw a tantrum when someone asked you to give Haechan their valentine favor”

You scowled at the memory, last year during valentines one girl came up to you asking you to give Haechan her card and chocolates. You were too shy to say no, so after school was finished and you were all waiting in the parking lot, you all but practically shoved the box of chocolates to Haechan. The rest of the guys cheering but you cut them off by saying it wasn’t from you. 

“I did not. I was just not having a great day that day”

“Sure, you should see the look on his face when you said it didn’t come from you” Jeno said making you look over at him “Why? How did he look?” you asked, your curiosity getting the best of  you

“Wouldn’t you like to know” Jaemin teased you

It is true you both get on each other nerves, there’s one little thing that contradicts everything that just came out of your mouth though. 

You do like Haechan, more than you will ever care to admit. You’d rather be dead than ever admit you like him. Because at the end of the day, even when you two want to rip each other’s head off, you always end up together somehow. 

The next day you were waiting for Jeno to finish his last class since he picked you up this morning, sitting outside on one of the empty benches with book in hand. You were too emerged on your reading material that you didn’t notice the figure now sitting in front of you. Only when you turned the page and craned your neck to stretch it you did you notice the guy sitting across from you, 

“What the fuck! How long have you been there?” You asked Haechan, holding your book against your chest. “Long enough to notice how bad your posture is” he answered

“Says the guy who can’t sit or stand straight” you mumbled, closing the book and tucking it away in your bag

“If I were you, I’d be nice to the guy who’ll be driving me home”

“I don’t see Jeno here” you said looking around you, your cousin nowhere in sight. “No stupid, he has basketball practice. He asked me to drive you home”

You just shot him a blank look, for a couple of seconds he just shot you the same look before standing up

“Have it your way, I can just leave you here” then started to walk towards the parking lot. Scowling at his retreating figure, you quickly threw your bag over your shoulder following Haechan’s steps. 

He can already hear your hurried steps, a faint smile forming on his lips but he quickly shook it away. Acting nonchalant when you finally caught up with him,

“No, you won’t. Jeno will have your ass if leave me”

“No, he won’t” 

“Oh yea my bad, you don’t have an ass” he looked over at you, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. Silently daring you to repeat what you just said, so just send him a big sarcastic smile

“Watch it, babe. Don’t bite what you can’t chew”

“I don’t even know what that means, but let’s just pretend I do for your sake” You pat him on the shoulder before walking ahead. For awhile, neither of you said anything. A random playlist was playing while Haechan hums along, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. 

“Hyuck”

Haechan looked quickly over at you, your attention was focused on the scenery outside. If he could, he would look at you a little bit longer but he didn’t to be too obvious and that would be dangerous. So he just hummed as an answer, 

“huh?” you asked, looking over at him

“What?”

“What do you mean what?”

“You called my name?”

“Oh I was just thinking about it, I didn’t know I said it outloud” you mumbled, you really didn’t mean to say it outloud. You were just looking out the sunset, it reminded you of his nickname which then made you think of his name. 

“You were thinking about me?” he chuckled

“I’d rather not comment on that” then it was silent again, thankful that he didn’t push it any further. 

“Want to grab something to eat?” he asked, this made you look over at him “I heard there’s this new café in town” he added. 

“Tell me the truth, can you read minds?” you asked him, you were just thinking about that too. You were planning to go later today after he dropped you off, maybe ask Jeno to come with after his practice but it makes more sense to just go now. You just didn’t expect Haechan to ask you 

“Only yours” he said with a smirk, sending you quick side eye. You rolled your eyes at him, “Can we go though?” you asked

And that is how you find yourself at the new café with your frenemy and kind of crush, Lee Haechan. You happily entered the place, taking in the smell of coffee and cake in the air, 

“Are you a dog? Stop sniffing” You hear Haechan say from behind you “Can’t help it, it smells so good. Oh my god is that chocolate cake” your attention was already on the rows of cake displayed. Completely missing the fond look on Haechan’s face as he watch you excitedly look at the snacks. 

He won’t say it but he finds it so adorable how happy you get with just the little simple stuff. 

“Do you want that? What do you want to drink?”

“Vanilla latte for me” you smiled up at him, for a second Haechan forgot how to breath forgot how to act around you. You were smiling so genuinely at him he wasn’t sure what to feel. 

“How about you?”

“Will you eat all the cake again or will you actually share it this time?” he asked back, dismissing his previous thoughts before you notice anything weird happening.

“I don’t recall doing such thing”

“Mhm sure, sweetheart. I have three other guys as witnesses” you scowled at him before turning back to the cake

Haechan ordered your drinks and cake while you sat outside and wait for him, you offered to split the bill but he just pushed you towards the door when you tried to pay for your food. Like he literally pushed you out

“Wipe that pout off, here’s your cake” at the sound of his voice, you put your phone down and smiled up at him. Well more at the plate of food he was holding

“Have I told you you’re my favorite?” you teased him, making the boy chuckle at you. You were already diving into the snack, happily swaying one hand in the air. 

“I’m starting to think you only like me when I give you food” 

“You’re thinking right” you answered straight away to tease him, chuckling when you felt him lightly kick you under the table. 

Later that day when you were finally home and was doing some homework, Jeno came over to check on you

“You made it home in one piece, that could only mean Haechan didn’t”

“Can’t say he will be missed” you replied, not even bothering to look up 

“You will though” this made you glare up at your cousin, “Why are you here again?”

“Oh right, well me and the guys plus a couple of other friends are going out of town this weekend, want to come with us?”

“When, where and who?”

“The guys, girls on some of our classes and Mark hyung is coming too. We’re renting a house with a pool, it looks really cool and we’ll stay there from Saturday til Sunday afternoon maybe”

You contemplated whether you wanted to come or not, it did sound fun. Plus you feel like you do need the time off anyways. 

“I thought you hated each other” Jaemin said, looking between you and Haechan who is sporting the same look of boredom and annoyance. It’s currently 4am, kind of freezing outside and the guys are still loading the car with stuff.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed” Renjun added, that earned a glare from Haechan and you. 

“Who else are we waiting for?” You grumbled, you wanted to get in the car and get some more sleep. Almost regretting ever agreeing to come to this trip, you felt a tug on your jacket sleeve. Looking over at Haechan who was holding out his coffee to you, you just shook your head at him. You liked drinking coffee, but  iced americano is not something you’d ever opt to order

“The girls are meeting us there, they said” Jeno answered you

“So who’s going in whose car?” Renjun asked, looking around the group

“Who’s driving again?” you asked, “Jeno and Haechan” 

You looked over at the boy leaning beside you, “You’re driving? You look like you’re about to pass out”

“That’s why I’m drinking this”

“I’ll go wherever I can sleep for the duration of this trip”  Jaemin said, already walking towards Jeno’s jeep getting in the passenger seat. 

“How about you?” Jeno asked you, “I’m with Jaemin, I don’t really care as long as I can sleep some more”

“Backseat is still pretty spacious, make yourself comfortable” he said then opened the car door for you, doing exactly what your cousin just said. 

“I thought you were going with Haechan” Jaemin said from the front seat, “Don’t start with me right now, let me sleep then you can bug me about him later”

The rest of the trip you were sleeping soundly at the backseat, the two boys talking amongst themselves. It was a four hour car ride so by the time you got to the vacation house it’s still too early for lunch. 

“Who wants to go to the grocery with me?” Jaemin asked, Renjun saying he’ll come with and pulling Haechan along with him

Hours later when they got back and finished unloading all the food for the weekend, you were just lounging around. Some of the guys were by the pool while you were in the lounge area with Jaemin and Jisung when Jeno and Haechan showed up. You were happily snacking on some cookies you when Haechan spotted you, Jeno immediately noticing Haechan’s gaze on you and the cookies you were holding

“Please tell me you you’re not going to fight over cookies”

“Will that make you happy?” Haechan asked his friend to which Jeno nodded as an answer, “Too bad then, give me back my cookies” Haechan turned his attention back to you, reaching out to grab the bag of treats

“I don’t see your name written here, plus I was the one who told Jaemin to get it at the grocery store”

“I went with him to the grocery store”

“Should’ve bought your own cookies then”

“I did! Those are mine”

The two of you were too busy arguing to notice the other guys have left the room to join the others outside, leaving you and Haechan alone in the lounge area. You sat on the opposite sides of the big couch, just chilling when Haechan walked in demanding to give his cookies back

“I’ll give you five seconds to give it back”

“Oooh I’m so scared”

“5, 4, 3” just as you were about to take another cookie from the bag, you feel his hand clamp around your ankle then pulling you towards the other side of the couch where he was sitting.

Now your legs are draped on his lap while his arms rest on them, “You said 5!”

Haechan just glared at you before snatching the bag out of your hands and taking some cookies for himself

“Leave some for me” you said as you try to reach for the bag “No, you already ate half of it”. 

You scowled at him until he gave the bag back to you, not even moving from your current position since you are pretty comfortable and the boy don’t seem to mind. Already busy scrolling through his phone, 

“Why aren’t you downstairs with the guys? I heard the girls arrived too”

“Too tired”

“I heard Yeji came today”

“Mhm”

“You know she gave you those chocolates last year for valentines, right?”

“Like you would ever let me forget” he was still scrolling through his phone, one hand resting on top of your legs comfortably. If any of the boys walk in on you know they’d probably shoot you weird looks but when it’s just the two of you, you don’t really fight like cats and dogs. 

“Don’t you like, like her back atleast?”

“Why?”

“I mean she said she liked you, don’t you think it’s a bit mean to not talk to her after that. Plus,. I think she came so she could spend some time with you and yet here you are hiding away”

“Well maybe I like spending time with you”

You looked at him like he told you the most ridiculous and confusing fact, Haechan looking over at you when you didn’t reply back to him

“What’s that look for?”

“Who are you and what have you done to Haechan?” You asked, leaning over to put a hand over his forehead. He just chuckled at you, swatting your hand away

“I just got the chills when you said that”

“Like the good kind of chills?” he teased, “No, the kind that’s making me want to throw up kind of chills” you sarcastically replied

He scowled at you, pushing your legs off of him before standing up. “You know, it’s not that hard to just admit it”

“Admit what?”

“That you actually like hanging out with me”

“I never said I didn’t, even if you get on my last nerves”

“I like keeping you on your toes, baby. I’ll be outside if you miss me” he winked at you then walked out the lounge area. 

What just happened? Was he flirting with you? Did he know? You thought to yourself.  

And boy does he love getting on your last nerve. You will never assume that he’s doing thing on purpose just to piss you off, but after your conversation with him he’s been talking more to Yeji the whole day. 

He’s naturally friendly and affectionate, no one can argue that. And it’s not like you have a right to be jealous, your pride is too high to admit Jaemin’s actually right.

You do like Haechan. 

So what do you do? you mope around without meaning to, the boiys noticing your change in mood throughout the night. 

You were just standing beside Jaemin as he grill the meat for dinner, not really saying much

“You’re going to burn holes to the ground if you keep staring at it like that” Jaemin said as he look over at your brooding figure

“Let me be, I don’t any place else to be”

“Uh how about hanging out with our friends”

“Your friends” you mumbled making Jaemin laugh at you, “Oh my god, I cannot with you. If it bother’s you this much, just admit it already. It will save us both the time and emotional stress”

“Hiw are you getting stressed, I’m literally not even saying anything here” you told him, lightly hitting him on the back. 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the garden area, Haechan was watching you and Jaemin. Not in a creepy way though. He just happen to notice you’ve been missing, only to find you standing by the grill with his bestfriend

“Yah Jeno, is there something going on with Y/N and Jaemin?” Haechan can’t help but ask when Jaemin laughed at something you just said

“Huh?”

“I mean they always hang out”

“Yea, well they’re friends” Jeno shrugged, “We’re friends too” Haechan grumbled, taking a big gulp of the drink Jeno just put on the table

“Are you perhaps jealous of the two?” Jeno asked, “Absolutely not, I was just asking”

“Well, don’t tell Jaemin I told you this but I think he’s going to ask her out this weekend” that was a complete and total lie, he only said that to push Haechan to finally do something. And judging by the way he’s now practically glaring over your make makes Jeno think he did the right thing. 

“I heard you even went out on a date with him” Jaemin said, making you look at him with confusion 

“Huh? When?” “The other day when he had an emergency practice”

“We just went to the cafe, it wasn’t a date”

“Right, right. Because that’s how you spend time with a person you don’t like”

“I don’t don’t like him”

“So you like him?”

“If i say yes will you stop?”

“I-” “Say yes to what?” Someone said from behind you, making Jaemin stop his sentence. 

Haechan looked back and forth between you and Jaemin, while Jeno looked like he was about to laugh. 

“Nothing” you answered quickly before Jaemin could utter another word, then skipped away to where the others were. Jeno was shooting his bestfriend with the ‘just go with it’ expression before Haechan catches on

“What was that about?” Haechan asked, “Oh I was just asking her something” Jaemin answered with a cheeky smile

He couldn’t have asked her already, right? Haechan thought. As the night went on, he can’t help but notice how you were obviously avoiding him. You looked like you were enjoying yourself when the guys invited you to play beerpong with them while this time he’s the one moping around. 

When you went inside to get something from the kitchen, Haechan immediately shoot up from his seat to follow you. Itching to ask you if Jaemin asked you out or not. 

“You think he’ll ask her out?” Jeno asked as he watch Haechan follow you, “Huh? Haechan? Why what did you tell him?” Jaemin asked back

“That you were going to ask Y/N out”

“Bro what the fuck, he’s going to kill me if I do”

You on the other hand had no idea about this, so when Haechan cornered you in the kitchen suffice to say you were pretty shocked, 

“Did you say yes to Jaemin?” he asked

“Say yes to what?”

“Didn’t he ask you out?”

“Huh?” you asked confused, Jaemin definitely did not ask you out. You know for a fact that he’s currently crushing on the new girl, Yoo Jimin. 

“No?”

“Are you not sure or you just don’t want to tell me”

“I’m so confused, one why would Jaemin ask me out and two why would I not want to tell you?” You asked, geniunely confused with him. “Because”

“Because?” you urged for him to continue

“God! You’re really going to make me say it first will you?” he sounded so frustrated you almost laughed, “I don’t know what you want to say Haechan, but please go ahead because like I said I’m very confused right now”

It took him approximately five seconds to think about his next actions, he counted up to three in his head before saying screw it then the next thing he know he was grabbing you by the waist, his lips on yours. 

You definitely did not expect that this is how your weekend will turn out, and you most definitely not think you would end up kissing Haechan. But here you were, trapped between the counter and him. His arms secured around your frame while your hands were resting on his arms. 

It’s like your mind and body were to separate entities, not one part of a single body because in your mind you were freaking out but your body was acting like this was how it was supposed to be all along. 

When the two of you eventually had to come up for air, you can’t help but stare at him

“What was that?” you whispered, his forehead resting on yours

“Me shooting my shot” 

Then you were laughing, Haechan looked at you like you just lost your mind

“You know this is the part where you say it worked”

“I- wait hold up. You like me?” you asked him, “You liked me first!” he screeched, pointing a finger at himself

“Says who?” 

“Says your cousin, then Jaemin and Renjun. Then you” You made a mental note to hit those three guys later

“Me? Just the other day I almost punched you in the face. If that was your indication of me liking you then you’re really messed up in the head”

“So you’re saying you don’t like me?” he asked, this time with a more serious look on his face. 

“I could neither confirm nor deny” you answered, trying to rile him up even more. You already know the answer, but it was nice to see Haechan like this.

“You know in my head, this wasn’t how I imagined this moment would turn out”

“Oh so you imagined kissing me” he smirked you, “As much you imagined kissing me” you retorted back, you had him there. 

“And?” 

“A bit underwhelming, not gonna lie”

That made Haechan do the thing you think is so attractive but never told a single soul because it was your secret, it’s when he pokes the inside of his cheeks with his tongue whenever he’s annoyed or things don’t go his way. 

“Are you saying I’m not a good kisser?”

“I’m saying it could be better” you shrugged, enjoying your new found power over him. It was short lived though because the next thing you know you were thrown over his shoulder then he was walking back out the patio. 

“Yah, Haechan don’t hurt her. I need to bring her back in one piece” you hear Jeno say 

“Sure, but it’s fine if she’s a bit wet right?”

“What?” you screamed then you were thrown in the pool, quickly resurfacing to the surface to see Haechan smirking at you. Instead of saying anything you just swam towards the ledge, hoisting yourself out the pool. 

“You look like you need a hug” you shot him a wicked smile as you walk towards him, you can hear cheers and laughter coming from your friends

“No thank you, baby. Maybe later”

“Come here”

“Don’t want to”

“No more kisses for you. 3 2″ then you were back in the pool again but this time Haechan was in there with you. Laughing as you watch him shake his hair out of his face, 

“Stop laughing you look like a wet dog” he said as he swam towards you, arms snaking your waist once again. As his lips close on your once again, you can’t help but smile. You’re pretty sure you heard your friends scream but all of that was background noise, it’s just you and him now. 

“How about that? Am I a good kisser now?”

“I don’t know, maybe try again”

[harrywritingsbyme]

The one where Harry and Y/n Visit a Sex Shop

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

Andd This One Too

A/N: This is thee 2nd installment of ‘Sneaking Around’...it’s real spicyyy. Enjoy🙃

Even though you and Harry’s sex life was unmatched when it came to being kinky, raw, and just incredibly hot, the both of you were always down to intensify the kinkiness, and heat you guys already had. The times where you and Harry browsed through page after page of sex toys on the internet were countless. You’d always add stuff to your wishlists and then dream up the different scenarios in which you’d use them. This would lead up to you and Harry getting extremely hot bothered and making an immediate purchase of whatever you two were looking at or you and Harry getting extremely hot and bothered and having some really hot sex. Even after sex sometimes if the two of you weren’t completely worn out (or on the brink of getting caught), you’d pull out your phones and look up different positions and maneuvers. You’d even try them out right then and there. When you and Harry were apart, the both of you would even do a little research on your own for the next time you two were together. The two of you were constantly on the look out for new and even better ways to make each other feel good. Whether it was Harry searching ways to make you squirt back to back until you’re begging him to give you a break(even though he had zero problems with this to begin with) or you looking into tips on how to make Harry cum harder and faster by simply playing with his balls and pressing your palm down onto his lower stomach, the both of you were always more than willing to delve a little deeper and unlock new things when it came to your sex life together.

This excitement and rush to explore trickled down into the date activities you two planned. 

Since your friend was spending some time with her boyfriend, you got to spend some quality time with yours. You and Harry had a nice long weekend filled with sex, cuddles, kisses, and even more sex. And that was only Friday and Saturday. The only time you two left the bed was to rummage through the kitchen. And even then, you two managed to get a round in on the counter. It was only until Sunday morning when you and Harry decided that it was time to get some fresh air in and go out. That is, after a round or two of some lazy, wet, passion and I love you filled morning sex. During your little post sex cuddles and conversation, you and Harry (per usual) ended up on the topic of toys you wanted to try. 

“I found this toy I thought would be perfect for us. It’s a vibrator, but with a twist.” Harry whispers to you, dragging his hands up and down your back.

“I wanna see it! Did you save it or something? You know I like my vibrators.” You say excitedly, lifting yourself up from his chest to look down at him.

“I know you like your vibrators baby, and I saved it on my phone.” Harry hums, taking in your excited features. 

You reach over to grab his off of the bedside table and you quickly enter his passcode before going straight to his browser. You find the bookmarked, and pretty obvious adult website. When you clicked into it, you’re immediately met with probably the best toy you’d ever seen. It was all silicone and there was a normal dildo “shaft”, with a head that wasn’t like the ordinary head. There was a clamp like structure that based on the little diagrams around it, could be used for just about anything. Harry could have it clamped around your clit while he slammed his cock into you. If he was fucking you from behind, the clamp could be wrapped around the base of his cock while it was tightly inside your second entrance. If you are on your own, you could have one end in your cunt, and the other in your tighter hole. When you ride him (or when he’s fucking up into you), only this time his cock would be in your second hole, the clamp would be around the base of his cock and the “shaft” would be inside your pussy. It could also be used as a simple high-powered vibrator that can be pushed inside you, or used on your sensitive nipples. This toy could also be used on just Harry. When you’re sucking him off, you could stretch the clamps around his girthy shaft and push the other end into his puckered hole. This could also be done whenever he’s on all fours for you.

And in the midst of all these different configurations, it’d be vibrating; intensifying the pleasure for you both. It was like this toy was made for you and Harry. 

“Judging by the way your walls have been clenching ‘round me, the way you’ve been staring the screen, and how hard you’re biting your lip, you like it.” Harry hums smugly up at you, squeezing your hip in the process. 

“I love it! We might need two though. One for me, and one for you. Don’t want either of us to be deprived of this amazing thing.” You say giddily.

“I called the place where we usually get our toys, and they said that they’re in stock if you wanna go on a little date to our local sex shop.” Harry says suggestively. 

“Were the only ones who’d consider a visit to a sex shop a date.” You chuckle, locking his phone back and placing it back onto the bedside table. 

“I’ll take you to dinner later on tonight.” Harry bargains. 

“You don’t have to convince me to go babe. I’m definitely not passing up on our little date to sex land, or our little dinner date later on tonight.” You reassure him, lowering yourself back down onto his chest.

“Well we should probably get up and get dressed.” Harry suggests, lowering his hand to give your backside a few light taps.

“But it’s nice and warm here.” You mewl with a pout, nuzzling yourself further into him.

“If we get up and go out now, we can have more time to play with our new toy before dinner tonight.” He reasons

“Okay fine, but only if you carry me. My legs are a little bit on the jelly side. 

And with that, you and Harry are up and on your way to your little date.

After the short drive that was filled with anticipation, the two of you finally make it to the shop. Harry practically throws the car into the parking spot and hustles you both inside.

“Looks like someone’s excited.” You smirk, walking into the door Harry was opening for you. 

“Get in there.” Harry grumbles, using his free hand to send a quick swat to your ass. 

After greeting the worker at the register, you and Harry go straight to the back wall where the dildos were. Immediately, both of you guys’ eyes go into search mode.

“I found it!” You announce. “It’s up there.” You point up to the hook holding the vibrator you and Harry had your sights on. “Grab two while your up there babe.” You remind Harry. He then cups his hand around your hip and reaches up behind you to grab the vibrators. After he grabs them, he hands them both to you.

“We’re gonna have so much fun babydoll.” Harry hums, bringing both hands down to your waist. Keeping himself pressed up against you, he brings his lips down to the base of your neck and begins to sponge soft kisses into your neck. 

“While we’re here, we should look around. There’s a lot of stuff in here that we probably don’t have already.” You hum softly, enjoying the feeling of his lips on you and his arms around your waist.

“In a minuet.” Harry promptly replies before continuing his kisses. As he does, you feel one of his hands wander below your waist and to the hem of your short skirt (which you were wearing because Harry practically begged you  to wear). Before you know it, Harry’s hand is pushing up your thigh and under your skirt. When his hand reaches then side band of your panties he pushes his hand in and down between your legs. He then takes his index finger and lightly scratches the warm, and plushy area of your covered folds, causing you to squirm in his grip. 

“Chill daddy!” You giggle, trying to move away from his hand.

“How about you behave and let daddy play with you.” Harry grumbles pointedly, continuing to tickle the sensitive area between your legs. 

“Well can you play with me in one of the dressing rooms. I don’t need prying eyes.” You sigh, continuing to suppress your little moans and giggles. 

“Well look little exhibitionist being scared of people watching.” Harry whispers condescendingly before going back to kissing at your neck and playing with you beneath your skirt. He was referring to the time when the two of you had a little getaway and he took you multiple times against the large floor to ceiling window in you guys’ suite. And to make a long story short, you absolutely loved it, and Harry was always going to remember that.

“Please da-“ Before you can even finish, you hear the voice of your best friend and her boyfriend as they enter the shop. 

“Oh shit.” Harry whispers. All of a sudden, a serious feeling of nervousness falls over the both of you. Both you and Harry were thinking that today was the day you two would get caught. And on top of that, Harry was mortified for himself, and you at the thought of running into his daughter at a sex shop while he was there with his girlfriend who just so happened to be his daughters best friend. That wasn’t about to happen; Harry was going to make sure of it. 

“How you liking that dressing room now?” You whisper sharply to him. 

“It’s right over there.” Harry points out, turning your attention to the dressing rooms that were in the corner at the end of the wall. “Just stay in front of me.” Harry whispers his instructions to you. He removes his hand from beneath your skirt and his head from your neck before nudging you both in the direction of the dressing rooms.

As you two moved, you were so happy that this shop was big and didn’t have an open floor plan. If it did, you and Harry would’ve been in some trouble.

Once you two make it past the threshold to the dressing rooms and out of sight, the both of you scurry down to the very end of the small row of rooms and you quickly lock yourselves in the large room at the end.

“Thanks for getting us outta there.” You huff graciously as you maneuver out of Harry’s grip, taking a seat on the bench in front of the mirror and placing the two vibrator packages down next to you.

“No need t’thank me sweet girl. That was beyond terrifying.” Harry replies sweetly with a very relieved tone. Once he’s standing directly in front of you, he pulls you up from your seat and sits down in your place. He then tugs you down onto his lap, to which you use his shoulders for support and position your knees onto the bench on either side of him and sink your body right down onto him. 

“I love you.” You whisper to him, bringing your lips to his.

“I love you too princess.” Harry whispers back with a sweet smile spread across his face, tilting his head back a little to fully connect his lips with yours. As soon as your lips touch, they begin moving against each other’s. You could feel his arms circling your waist as his lips smack against yours. 

As the kiss continues, the both of you become more and more fevered. Your lips move faster against each other, your mouths open more for your tongues to explore one another’s mouths, and Harry’s hands are moving. While yours are cupping his the sides of his face and moving into his curls, Harry’s hands are no longer at your waist. But instead, they are below your skirt, caressing the backs of your thighs and the flesh of your ass. You can feel his hands squeezing the flesh in his hands and fingering at your panties. As he does this. Your moans begin to pick up and your hips begin to grind down into his lap, and right against his growing cock.

“Are you still gonna play with me daddy.” You whisper to him, after pulling your lips away from his.

“We do have some time to kill, and your panties are pretty damp. I guess I could play with you a bit.” Harry reasons, trying to act as if he has all the power in this situation, even though he can’t ignore his completely hard cock in his pants. He needed to be inside you again.

“Please daddy.” You whimper, pushing yourself down against the bump in his lap and kissing the corner of his mouth to coheres him.

If you insist.” Harry “concedes”, slightly turning his head towards your lips to connect them again. He then grips onto the backs of your thighs and stands up from the bench, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist and cling to his upper body. Keeping one arm tightly wrapped around you, Harry skillfully undoes his pants with one hand. He manages to shove them down his waist, letting  them pool at his ankles before shuffling you both to the wall. At first he wanted you to ride him, then finish you off against the wall, but Harry refused to sit his bare ass back down onto the bench inside a dressing room of a sex shop. He just couldn’t do it. So the wall was the next best thing; plus it was one of your favorites, you loved being pinned between the solid wall and Harry’s body. 

Once you’re between his body and the wall Harry reaches down between you two and pulls your damp panties to the side, exposing your messy and beyond ready pussy. Harry then proceeds to waste no more time and he begins to slowly pull you down the wall and onto his cock. As he fills you, Harry tries his hardest to keep his lips tightly against yours but you turn your head away, pulling your lips away from his to release your moans. 

“Oh my-“ You gasp, feeling his big cock filling you up again. 

“Shhh” Harry shushes you quickly, trying to keep you quiet so you both won’t get caught. “Fuck.”  Harry huffs, taking in just how good your walls felt around him.

“M’so full.” You moan out to him. You could feel his cock all the way inside the pit of your stomach. 

“Perfect.” Harry hums, before pulling out a bit just to slam back into you again. And he continues to do this. He continuously pulls his hips back, and slams back into you. His thrusts are sharp, deep, and filed with power. You could feel him hitting that sweet spot deep inside you with every last thrust. It felt so good that you couldn’t keep your mouth closed.

“So good daddy.” You lowly whimper to him, digging your nails into the back of his shoulder and clinging onto his curls on the back of his neck.

“That’s it princess, take daddy’s cock.” Harry growls, fastening the pace of his hips, making this thrusts sharper than before. Hardy couldn’t stop the smile from rising up onto his face. You were not only taking his cock incredibly well, you were also keeping quiet. He could feel himself hitting the deepest part of you with every thrust and it was starting to get to him. He was completely filling you. Your beyond spongy, wet, warm, and tight walls were taking every last inch and thrust of his cock. And to make things even better, seeing you fall apart and cling to him for dear life as he pounded up into you was causing his release to begin to rapidly bubble up in the pit of his stomach. As he continues, he can feel your walls tightening up around him. To push you even closer to the edge, Harry uses the hand that wasn’t at your waist to pull the skintight T-shirt you had on out of the waistband of your skirt. He then pushes that hand up underneath to squeeze at your breasts and tweak your nipples. 

“Fuck! M’gonna cum.” You cry out to him. It was getting harder to hold back your moans so you sank your teeth into your lower lip to try and hold them back.

“Cum with daddy baby.” Harry pants. As he continues to move inside you, his thrusts become sloppier and less uniform. His release was fast approaching too. When he feels himself falling off the edge, Harry slams his lips back onto yours, pinning your head back against the wall between his head, and muffling the both of you guys’ moans. He sends one final thrust into you and keeps it there, triggering you to follow suit and let go with Harry.

As the two of you let go, you and Harry swallow each other’s loud moans, keeping the sounds down. Harry could feel your walls convulsing around his cock as he spurted heavy ropes of his cum into you.

Once you and Harry are completely done, Harry removes his hand from your shirt and brings it back around your waist. He then lowers it down to begin pulling himself from you. 

“Tighten up baby.” Harry softly instructs before pulling his cock from you. As soon as you’re empty of his cock, Harry quickly pulls your panties back over to cover you, and stop his cum from leaking out of your now weak little hole. “Did so good babygirl.” Harry praises, pulling you from the wall and sitting you back down onto the bench.

“Felt so good.” You sigh contently, resting your head back against the wall while Harry readjusts his pants.

“So good.” Harry hums delightedly. Once his pants are back up and done, he sits on the bench next to you. You then scoot over a little and rest your head on Harry’s shoulder, prompting him to wrap his arm around you to pull you closer. The two of you continue to sit like this until you finally regain some energy. 

“I’ll go out first and text you once the coast is officially clear.” You tell him, slowly standing up from the bench to look in the mirror behind you and fix your clothes a little. 

“Hold on.” Harry rushes out, stopping you in your tracks. “Pay for these while you’re out there.” Harry continues, digging into his pants pocket for his wallet. After fishing out his wallet, he plucks his credit card out it’s slot and hands it over to you along with the two vibrators.

“I’ll text you when I’m almost done.” You say again, reaching out to grab his card and the two packages.

“Alright baby.” Harry replies as you exit the dressing room. 

Once you step out of the dressing room area, you slowly make your way to the register, making sure to check all around you for your best friend. Once the coast is completely clear, you confidently (but with a slight limp from the way Harry pounded into you, and his cum) make your way to the register to pay for your items. That is, before picking up one of the fuzzy pink collars that were on the display in your path. It’s what Harry would’ve wanted. 

“You picked a good one. And I’m not just talking about these.” The cashier subtly says to you as she scans and bags the items. 

“Thanks.” You whisper back. You were having mixed feelings. You felt pride because you have a hot, older boyfriend. You were feeling a tiny bit jealous because another woman checked out your man. And you were feeling a little bad because the girl was really nice and you just had sex (it was some really hot sex though) in one of the dressing rooms.

To Daddy❤️👅💦😈🥰: Coast is completely clear. Hurry up!

You quickly text him while the cashier puts some information into the computer. Apparently you two came at the right time, they were having a little promotion thing going on and today was the last day.

As Harry comes from the dressing rooms, you’re inserting his card into the card reader to pay for everything. When the card reader buzzes for you to remove the card, you pull it out and you look over to see Harry making his way over to you. 

“Alrighty, you two have a good day.” The cashier smiles at you, pulling the receipt from the machine and handing it to you along with the discrete black bag holing all of you guys’ items. When you take the bag and receipt from her, she manages to sneak in another look at your silver fox of a boyfriend who was standing in front of her. You could completely understand why it and you couldn’t blame her. 

“Thanks, you too.” You reply politely. Harry sends a polite nod her way as well and the two of you make a b-line to the door you’d entered earlier. 

“Let’s go play with our new toys daddy.” You hum excitedly, pulling him back in the direction of his car. 

You and Harry were going to have a lot of fun. 

Masterlist

[pascalpanic]

Burning The Midnight Oil (Javier Peña x gn!Reader)

Summary: Javier has been burning the candle at both ends. He just needs some rest. Luckily, you’ve got your husband covered.

W/C: 3.4K

Warnings: oh boy um. language, non sexual nudity, brief sexual jokes/innuendo, lots of talk of sleep deprivation bc that’s a plot point here, brief mentions of alcohol and guns (maybe once each), mostly talk of food/eating, eating meat/pork (Javier does, not reader) otherwise I’d say it’s fluffy for the most part

A/N: ☄️ anon, god bless your soul for this idea!! I really love it so I banged it out in one night and here we are!!

You haven’t seen your husband in days. You know he’s exhausted, only ever showing up at home when you’re off at work. It’s a terrible situation, the only contact you’ve had with him being at odd hours over the phone.

The DEA has been all hands on deck this week, requiring their men to be there at all times unless they’re at home and sleeping; even then, they only get about six hours off at a time, many of them too wired to sleep. Javier only gets to come home every other day, usually during the middle of the day. He’s been staying up for a dangerous amount of time, in your opinion, leaving you just about ready to find the heads of the cartel and beat their asses yourself.

During the work week, you can’t complain. You have no right to. You knew when you and Javier had eloped and married that the man’s job was a baggage you’d be forced to carry as a couple. You normally didn’t mind, but when it goes into the weekend, that’s when you get mad. Not just that you don’t get your husband at home with you, but that he doesn’t get to be home. He deserves it. Javier hardly relaxes during the weekends, and essentially does not relax on weeknights until he’s fallen asleep with his head on your chest.

Saturday found you running errands, expecting Javier home by midday at the very latest. Returning home with a pep in your step and finding no Javier there, your mood and smile fell instantly. It’s Saturday; your husband should be home. They should be letting them go home, you thought angrily as you took your anger out by chopping the vegetables to go into your dinner. Surely Javier will be home by dinnertime.

Nothing. 6 P.M., 7 P.M., no Javier, just a dinner growing cold and your heart sinking. You knew Javier had got his break yesterday, and had been in the apartment while you worked, but a slightly rumpled bed was the only evidence he was even there.

At 8, you walk to the phone and dial the DEA office, specifically Javier’s extension.

Your husband picks up and his voice wrecks your heart. “Peña,” he mumbles, his voice crackly. It sounds like his morning grumble after a long night of sleep next to you.

“Javi,” you coo, heart breaking. “Baby, when are you coming home?”

Javier perches on the edge of his desk, phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder. “Fuck, cariño, I don’t know,” he admits, rubbing his face. “I just woke up, I got an hour nap in the break room office. We have to keep going. We’re so close, I can tell.”

You understand his desperation, but you know exactly what he looks like now, a stubble growing thanks to his time away from home, his eyes bloodshot and drooping. His hair is probably messy and his shirt is probably all wrinkly; you’re absolutely certain he’s holding a mug of the sludgy black coffee the office brews. He’s most definitely the picture of exhaustion, and even though you can’t see him, you know your husband. He is a wreck. “I can let Saturday slide, but you’re coming home tomorrow, I don’t care how long. I need to see you and you need to be taken care of.” “I’m doing just fine,” Javier shakes his head and you can hear a flick of a lighter as he’s most likely lighting a cigarette.

“You’re not, and don’t try to pull that card with me. I know you. You’re a disaster; I can tell from your voice. You haven’t eaten and you haven’t slept and you can’t deny it. I want you home as soon as you can tomorrow, you got it? Don’t you even fucking dare try it, Javier Fernando Peña.”

The full name: ouch. He sighs and exhales the cigarette smoke, then takes a sip of his coffee before answering you. “God, I fucking love you,” he chuckles softly. “Okay.”

Another sign of Javier’s exhaustion: how easily he gives in. Javier is a stubborn man, but over your years together he’s learned that you’re just as hard to budge. When both of you are set, neither of you can be moved. Your sarcasm and wit and willpower was what drew him to you in the first place; Javier could never have a compliant, submitting partner. He’d be a mess. He needs you to ground him, he knew and still knows it. It’s why you’re married now.

“I love you too, handsome. Call me before you come home, okay baby? I want to be awake for you,” you say, a soft smile on your face. Your voice is much warmer, less jagged and rough.

It’s the way you always get Javi, the thing that makes him melt the most: when you’re snapping one second and gentle the next. God, he fucking loves you. You understand him, you don’t question him when he comes home and doesn’t speak. You read him and then you hold him, and all of his fears dissipate with his calming breath. “Okay. I love you,” he repeats again, more earnest and purposeful. He wants you to know it; he worries you haven’t felt it in the past week. It’s also another sign of his exhaustion.

“I love you too, Javi,” you remind him as you chuckle and stand. “Don’t fall asleep on the job. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Javier groans and cracks his neck after hanging up, sliding the typewriter back to the beginning. Just a little longer, he tells himself, then he gets to come home to you.

-

The phone rings around 5 in the morning, waking you from a restless slumber. The sun is just starting to rise, making the sky lighter and colorful from its previous midnight blue. Knowing Javier would be calling, it was impossible for you to sleep fully, leaving you in a dozing state more similar to a daydream than to any form of REM.

“Hello?” You answer with a groggy voice, hoping it’s Javier. Who else could it be, at this hour on a Sunday morning?

“Hey, dulzura,” Javier sighs into the phone. “I’m packing up my shit now. We didn’t get Escobar, but we got one of his big guys late last night. They’re bringing in some Search Bloc guys and giving us tomorrow off.”

You nearly cry in relief at his words, making a noise between a sigh and a squeal,  heavy and happy. Javier laughs softly at your noise of relief, allowing himself to smile. His vision is hazy from the lack of sleep, but he’ll be cognizant enough after this last cup of coffee kicks in. “Get your ass home, Javi,” you tell him with a voice just as sleepy as his own. “You got an ETA for me?”

There’s a moment of silence as he looks at his watch. “5:45.”

Your eyes haven’t even opened yet, and you finally let them as you look at the clock. That’s soon, really soon, and it makes your heart speed up a little as your body forces you awake. “Great. I’ll see you then. Drive safe. If you’re too tired-”

“Steve will not be driving,” he cuts you off with a grumble. It makes you giggle a little, his adamance that Steve could never possibly do something better than him, more competently.

“Just reminding you. I’ll see you,” you tell him and hang up before he can make another sarcastic comment.

He’s glad you hang up so fast. He doesn’t have the brain power for a classic witty retort.

-

Javier goes to unlock the apartment door about half an hour later, but finds that his keys aren’t necessary: you’ve left the door unlocked for him.

He’d be ashamed to admit it to anyone but you, but it really does happen: Javier’s eyes water as he walks inside to the smell of cooking, the stream of soft light through the kitchen window, the sound of soft Sunday morning music drifting from the radio.

You’re at the oven, cooking, and turn when you hear a noise, grinning to see Javier. “Hey, handsome,” you squeal and rush over, wrapping your arms around him.

Javier buries his face in your hair, throwing his arms back around you. You smell fresh and clean, so soft in the fluffy robe he bought you for your birthday a few months ago now. You’re surprised to feel warm water drip from his eyes to your neck, and you pull away with a frown, cupping his face. “Are you okay, love?” You ask, wiping the tears from his eyes.

He nods. “So tired,” he admits and swallows hard. “So glad I’m home. So lucky I have you.”

You have a feeling he doesn’t have the energy to kiss you. Instead, you press your forehead to his and squeeze him tight in your arms. “Okay. I cooked breakfast. You need it. Why don’t you go take a shower?” You ask, breaking away and rubbing his arms.

He shakes his head. “My arms feel like lead. I don’t know if I can even wash my hair,” he admits, his voice a low rumble from his chest. “Just let me sleep, baby.”

“I’ll come with you, then,” you offer, already unbuttoning his shirt and working it off of him purely for comfort. You know your way around your husband’s body by now. You could unbutton his shirts blind; in fact, you have. “Come on, cariño,” you murmur and pull him along to the bathroom by the side of an unbuttoned shirt.

Once in the bathroom, Javier blinks and squints at the bright vanity lights, overwhelmed. You turn on the shower, the bathroom filling with warmth as the water heats and steam fills the air. Even in his tired state, Javier loves to undress you. He tugs the belt from your fuzzy robe, sliding it off your shoulders and tossing it on the counter. You then strip off your respective clothes, and you’re the first to step into the stream of the warm water.

Javi doesn’t have to say anything; you can tell his thoughts from your gaze. His eyes rake your body, taking in the sight of his most beloved person on the planet in all of your naked glory. He climbs in after you, and you grab a bar of soap and get to scrubbing, covering all of Javier’s body with the cucumber-scented suds. He leans his head back against the shower wall, loving your warm hands and the hot water. If he wasn’t standing, if his back wasn’t aching so hard, he’d fall asleep here and now. He’s never been more blissful.

You rinse his body then work his shampoo into his thick hair, your fingers scratching his scalp and massaging his head. “You’re the fucking best,” Javi mumbles sleepily. You just chuckle and work the soap into his hair, stripping it of the grime and cigarette smoke of the office, until he’s wiped clean, ready to start anew.

Later, you wash yourself and let Javier enjoy the hot stream of the water. He’s so zoned out you can’t even tell if he’s awake. You have to actually check. “Javi, baby?”

“Hm?” He mumbles

“Did you fall asleep on me?” You chuckle as you turn off the shower, which makes Javier frown at the loss of warmth.

“‘Course not,” he grumbles, taking the fluffy towel from you and wiping his face.

After the two of you have dressed in fresh clothes, you sit on the edge of your bed and wait for Javier to finish. He pulls a worn t-shirt over his head, then comes and sits next to you, kissing the side of your head. “You’re so good to me,” he mumbles into your temple.

He goes to flop back but you put an arm around him, catching him. “Excuse me, Agent. I made breakfast,” you chuckle and sneak a kiss from his lips, chuckling at the way his mustache is still a little damp. “When was the last time you ate?”

Javier stares off as he considers it. It takes a while for him to respond. You nod at that. “Exactly. Come on, I made breakfast just the way you like it.”

The food is still somewhat warm when you find your way to the kitchen. Javier loves the local cuisine, always has, but something about an American breakfast makes him weak at the knees. He sits at the kitchen counter and sighs as you hand him a plate of buttered toast. “There’s your appetizer,” you chuckle and head back to the stove. Half-cooked bacon, which you turned off when he came in, sits in a pan, and you turn it back on to finish. You crack a couple of eggs into another pan, making sure they sit just right so they’re the way Javi likes them: fried. You sprinkle them with salt and pepper, humming to the radio as you cook.

The sizzling bacon makes Javier’s stomach grumble. The toast isn’t even that warm anymore, but the carby goodness fills Javi’s mouth and suddenly he’s never felt so ravenous. The two pieces of buttered toast are devoured in a heartbeat.

Bringing him a mug, you pour some coffee and his favorite creamer in. “You’d better tip me later,” you tease him with a wink as you return to the stove, flipping the bacon and putting some onto a plate.

“I will tip you anything you want, I swear,” he murmurs before sipping at the ceramic mug, the warm coffee going down like it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted, warming him from the inside out. The A/C blasts in the apartment, making his dripping hair feel even colder.

In yet another pan, you start pouring the premade pancake mix you’d prepared before he got home. “All of this and the sun is barely up,” He muses, wandering to the other side of the counter and stealing a strip of bacon.

“Quit,” you whine and smack his hand, making the bacon fall back onto the plate. “Your order isn’t ready yet, sir. Stop harassing the cook.” When his arms wrap around you, your defenses fall. “Go sit down,” you say weakly as he kisses your neck.

At least he obeys. Javier sits in his chair and watches you intently, downing his coffee in a short amount of time.

Finally, the feast all comes together, and you present it to Javier on a large plate: bacon, fried eggs, fruit (which you know he won’t eat, but it’s worth a shot), and heart-shaped pancakes. “I wanted to make a pistol, but I’m not super artistic,” you chuckle as you refer to the fluffy cakes on the plate.

Javier shakes his head but smiles. “Thank you, dulzura,” he manages out before he digs in, devouring the plate at a breakneck speed. You’re content to watch, standing across from him. You go to refill his coffee and come back to find the pancakes completely gone.

It doesn’t take much time at all before the plate is wiped clean, the entire thing in Javier’s stomach. Food has never been the biggest concern for him; he skips meals often for work, and you suspect he hasn’t done much more than snack here or there over the past week. His eyes droop even further now that he has a full stomach, and it warms your heart. You’ve got your husband cleaned and fed; now all you need is one last step before you have your beloved Javi back.

“Alright, handsome,” you smile as you drape your arms across his shoulders. “Nap time.”

He can’t deny that. He stands, letting your arms fall off his shoulders. He pulls you around to his front and wraps his arms around you; you know what comes next in this routine. Your feet slide on top of his and Javier walks the two of you to the bedroom, you backwards and being led by him. Javier is not an overly affectionate man: kisses and sex, primarily, hugs if one of you really needs it. This is his one little act he insists on, since you don’t let him carry you.

As you waddle along, you kiss along Javier’s jaw, giving him all of the affection he missed out on in the past week. When you finally enter your bedroom, you stop as you feel the backs of your calves against the bed. You know this routine all too well. It’s usually reserved for when Javier can’t get his hands off of you, when you desperately need him on top of you, surrounding you, kissing your neck. “Wait,” you murmur and step off of his feet, going to pull back the covers.

You return to the end of the bed, standing on top of his feet again. “There,” you say with a grin, and Javi has no choice but to grin back then kiss you. “Okay, continue.”

Then your routine resumes: you fall backwards onto the bed and Javier falls on top of you. You both grunt with the impact but you smile, wrapping one arm around Javi while the other grabs the sheets and blankets and pulls them over the both of you.

Javi’s cheek is nestled against your chest, listening to your heartbeat, his eyes already shut. “Real cute. Get off of me now,” you tease and nudge his side.

His body beneath yours is all he’s needed, all he’s dreamt about while half-consciously dreaming on the apartment couch. He can feel your chest rise and fall, his head going with it. “No,” he simply mutters, his face squished against the skin encasing your beating heart. “M’comftrble.”

You can’t deny him that, you chuckle, your hands reaching down to entangle your fingers in his dark brown hair, nearly black from the dampness it holds. “Fine,” you sigh, whispering the word to him. “I love you so much, Javi. Missed you. Missed my man.”

“Missed you too, dulzura,” Javi mumbles back, but it’s clear he’s almost already out.

“How long were you up, minus that nap, Javi?” You ask.

He thinks on it for a minute, and you think he might’ve fallen asleep until he responds. “36.”

“Hours?” you exclaim quietly, massaging his scalp. “Baby.”

“I know. Had’ta.”

“Well, you can sleep as long as you need to now, love,” you murmur and kiss his forehead. He makes a soft noise of disapproval. “Just a nap. Wake me in like an hour.”

“Okay,” you lie, knowing you’ll let him sleep as long as his body needs it. “Rest now, baby.”

Javier nods and you exhale deeply, holding his head to your chest. He’s back now, your husband, and you know he’s safe, know he’s healthy and well taken-care of: you did it yourself. His breathing slows. You can feel it against your chest, the way the steady rise and fall becomes slower and slower and you know you’ve won when you hear a soft snore, his parted lips smashed against your chest.

You stay like that for a while, Javier lying on top of you and resting. It’s a comfort to have him pressed against you, to feel your husband’s body and know that he’s here. It’s even better to know he’s resting well, deeply, from the way he slumbers against your body. You intermittently kiss his head, continuing to rub his head in hopes it’ll loosen the tension he’ll surely have when he wakes.

About an hour passes, and you find yourself drowsier and drowsier as the sun rises higher and higher in the sky. Scooting out from beneath Javier, you replace your chest with a pillow to support his face. Rolling him slightly to the side, you cuddle in behind him and spoon him, your arms around him.

The quiet Sunday morning is all too perfect. You drift off too, then wake up an hour or two later and proceed about your household chores. You burn some pretty candles, clean, listen to the radio.

Javier doesn’t wake until 10 P.M. that night, 15 hours after he fell asleep.

Some nap.

-

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