#he wants to watch someone struggle with and overcome those problems

[mister13eyond]

basically vin's morality is "you have to play with your cat until he's exhausted or he WILL make his own fun and it WILL be destroying your furniture"

[ratatouillewastakendammit]

Honest?

Pairing: Dabi x reader

Summary: Lying always seemed to be the best way to navigate your attraction to Dabi. This definitely didn’t aid you after getting hit with a truth quirk

Warnings: slight smut/mentions of smut; a tiny bit of blood at the start; language; teasing;

Word Count: 2k

Your foot slid across the pavement, damp concrete aiding your narrow escape from your opponent's axe.

The weapon slammed into the wall behind you, making a small dent in the stone that had been a few centimeters behind your head moments before.

Glancing up, you watched them grasping the hatchet, the heel stuck within the wreckage. The struggle gave you a chance to sweep your leg under theirs, bringing them to their knees as you jumped up.

However, the force of their weight effectively pried the axe from the wall, it’s edge cutting through the fabric of your shirt and piercing the skin underneath.

“Shit!” You groaned, watching red bloom through the cloth, dripping past your elbow and onto the chest of your fallen combatant.

A bang sounded off from your left and your spun on your heels, watching Twice incapacitate some enemy that had sticks of dynamite for hair.

Maybe the quirkless didn’t actually turn out to be the least fortunate group that society made them out to be.

The distraction was just enough for you to almost miss the haywire explosive shooting straight for another one of your comrades.

“Toga!” Your shout echoed through the alleyway, making the blonde turn her head in question, giving her just enough time to sidestep away from the projectile. She giggled, turning back around to stab her own opponent in the shoulder. He let out a cry of pain as she waved in appreciation for your warning.

Fear shot through your chest as a hand slithered around your ankle, a final attempt to overcome you that was easily squandered with a kick to the nose.

Still, the sensation of your opponent's skin against yours left an icky feeling that trickled up your spine, almost like the area below your knee was tingling with infection. You tried to ignore it, glancing up in relief to see the rest of your team similarly victorious in this fight.

A rigid breath left your lungs, beating heart still hammering away.

The stroke of adrenaline slowly drained from your limbs, leaving a comfortably sound mind that pushed you to remember the scratch just above your elbow.

“Ouch! What happened?” You looked up, quickly shielding your bloodied limb from Toga's view. Her tone seemed falsely sincere, but it greatly clashed against the carnal excitement gleaming in those golden irises.

I’m fine.

“My arm got cut and my ankle feels kinda gross."

You blinked.

That wasn't what you wanted to say.

While this was hardly the worst injury that you had gotten over your time working with the League of Villains, you were never exactly one mention any of your personal problems regardless.

It was just easier to patch yourself up unaccompanied, not to mention your underlying anxiety regarding making yourself seem weak in front of your cohorts.

Of course, most of them weren’t the type to notice, with the minor exception of-

"What the hell is wrong with you?”

Dabi, despite his usually disinterested nature, was quite the perceptive individual.

Actually, it probably would've taken someone with the observation skills of an ice cube to not notice the confusion overtaking your expression.

Nothing, I’m fine.

The lie got caught in your throat, an unwanted truth quickly taking its place and pounding against your vocal cords. “I can’t stop talking."

He cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"I can't stop talking. My mouth isn't doing what my brain is telling is to," you sputtered.

Now you were starting to panic, mind racing in sync to the pounding of the muscle in your chest.

Dabi, however, took a moment to ponder your words before striding over to your previous combatant. He nudged their crumpled form with the toe of his boot, getting nothing but a fractured groan in response.

Sighing, almost like the lack of answers pertaining to your well-being was of common inconvenience, he moved back to you, cerulean irises boring into yours. "What are you scared of?"

The words were almost immediate. "Abandonment and letting people down. But clowns are also pretty-"

Eyes widening, you slapped a palm over your mouth, an amused grin overtaking his. "Truth quirk. You'll probably be fine in a few days."

You exhaled in relief.

Honesty quirks were annoying, sure, but you weren't going to die and your brain wasn't going to melt or anything like that.

Wait...

"Days?" You jogged to catch up with him, Toga and Twice following closely behind.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Hiding something?"

No.

"Yes."

Fuck.

He clicked his tongue, feigned hurt lacing his tone. "Ouch, and here I thought that we were friends."

You were.

Kind of.

At least, in the way that villains could be friends.

He would bug you with teasing comments that border lined flirting on several occasions. In response, you would ignore him, sending a comparable quip back in his direction when you felt like it.

But for the most part, you tried to keep your distance.

Despite your current ally-ship, you would've been stupid not to recognize how dangerous he was.

The fact that you had found yourself vastly attracted to the man for quite some time definitely didn't help.

It was safe to say that you spent the rest of the walk back with your hands over your mouth.

While Dabi had become uncharacteristically quiet, much to your growing concern, your other companions had only seemed to become more talkative.

"Who's your favorite person in the league? It's me, right? It's pretty obvious." A strangled cry came from Twice's direction. "Why do you hate me?"

Toga tugged on the cuff of your jacket. "When we first met and I asked if we could be best friends and you said yes, was that just because I was covered in blood or did you mean it?”

All of those answers were muffled beneath your palms.

It seemed like an eternity before the league's hideout finally came into view.

But just as you were ready to slip past the door and book it upstairs, somebody grabbed your elbow, pulling you towards the bar.

"Come on."

Almost having to jog to keep up with his long stride, you looked up at Dabi in surprise. "Where are we going?"

"To make sure that arm doesn't get infected."

You stopped in your tracks, heels skidding against the worn floor panels as you tried to yank your wrist out of his grip.

Of course, he was stronger than you, annoyingly so, but stronger nonetheless.

He dragged you to a bar stool, forcing you into the seat by your shoulders with a scoff. You watched him trudge behind the counter towards the smart cabinet of medical supplies the League kept around before emerging with a small container of rubbing alcohol and some bandages.

“I’m…” I’m fine, it’s not that big of a deal, is what you wanted to say, but the words stuck to your tongue like peanut butter. You took a minute, attempting to find a happy medium between what you wanted and what was the truth. “I can take care of it.”

You reached for the bottle, fingers grazing the glass as he yanked it out of your grip, completely ignoring your statement. With his free hand, he grabbed your wrist once more with a quick roll of his eyes.

Even as you tried to squirm away, he let a steady stream of the liquid fall onto your arm. He looked almost bored doing so, eyes only flicking up as you hissed through your teeth at the burn.

Dabi let out a mockingly kind pout. "Oh, I'm sorry, princess. Did that hurt?"

Your answer, an undoubted 'yes', was muffled beneath a palm, the action making him grin as he picked up the gauze.

“I can finish.” You muttered quickly, almost like if you spoke less, you may be spared from saying something embarrassing. “Thanks.”

Surprisingly, he relented, but not without another eye roll, and let you fidget with the bandages.

"So quick to get rid of me, doll? Won't you miss this pretty face?" Dabi let out a humorless chuckle before moving to put the bottle back.

The comment was just for show. He was one of the cockiest individuals you’d ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on. He was arrogant and awfully flirtatious when it came to you, but it wasn’t very difficult for anyone who looked hard enough to understand that he was internally pessimistic concerning his own appearance.

Those scars littering his skin were clearly a sore spot for him, although he didn’t seem to give a damn about giving anyone who would make a snide comment the satisfaction of a reaction.

Usually, they would just end up as a pile of ash.

Of course, his own secretly insecure views made it quite easy for you to keep up the image of your general dislike of the individual.

Which made it all the more terrible when you immediately responded with-

"Yes."

If it was anatomically possible, you could’ve sworn your stomach turned inside out as you watched him freeze, cerulean eyes lighting up as he slowly turned around to face you.

"Excuse me?"

"I said that I'd miss your pretty face."

He blinked. “You think my face is pretty?"

Run me over

"Yes."

with a freight train

The horrid grin crawling over his features made you queasy.

You leapt off the chair, shoes slipping on the wooden floor as you dashed to the stairs, the sting of embarrassment nipping at your heels.

But he was quicker.

Dabi's hand slipped around yours, yanking your body back and pushing it against the wall. "And where are you going?"

Almost instinctively, your arm shot upward, your palm aching to cover your mouth. The attempt was one that was easily squandered, his fingers wrapping around your wrist and tugging it upward before grasping both of your hands between one of his own. "My room."

"Why?" The smirk gracing his lips seemed to combat with the tension blazing in his eyes, quiet anxiety brewing for your answer, the one you would be forced to give.

"Because I like you and don't want you to know."

The silence that followed made you want to vomit, eyes burning with tears that you willed not to fall.

And then he was kissing you.

Fingers strewn through your hair, he pressed his mouth against yours, swallowing the gasp that followed his actions.

Your eyes flit to a close as you let Dabi take you, his hands slipping from yours to snake around your waist and push your hips together. Warmth sparks between your legs as his touch dipped dangerously beneath your pelvis.

A groan was forced passed your lips as he gave your left thigh a squeeze, smirking as he pulled away, palm still cradling your chin. "If you told me, we could've done this a lot sooner, ya know."

"Bullshit," You scoffed. "If you didn't feel the same, you would've been an asshole. You're always an asshole, actually."

Leaning forward, his breath tickled the side of your neck. You felt him grin, teeth nipping at the top of your ear. "Maybe, but I don't seem to have any issues turning you on. Isn't that right?"

"Yes." You looked down with a huff, shuffling your feet. "Whatever..."

He intertwined his fingers with your own. "Oh, come on, doll. No need to be embarrassed." With a small tug, he dragged you towards the hallway, barely missing the blue haired individual holding a glass of whiskey walking past.

Shigaraki raised his cup. "Where the hell are you two going?"

Dabi glanced down at you, a smile gracing his lips. "I don't know, princess. Where do you think we’re going?"

You were smart enough to know, but you sure as hell didn't want to say it.

Unfortunately, the man standing next to you didn't seem to care in the slightest.

"To fuck, probably."

The sound of your fearless leader choking followed you both up the stairs, your curses of annoyance bouncing off the decrepit walls and into his room, the door slamming shut with a bang.

[whiskersz]

Can I request Husk with someone who doesn't drink alcohol but loves going to the bar just to talk with him? Maybe even try to learn card tricks since the poor one can't even shuffle cards. Pretty please

Of course! You didn't specify what you wanted, so I hope HCs are fine :3

dividers : horangipilled

Husk x Reader Headcanons

✦ Husk doesn’t really think that it’s a problem if you don’t drink alcohol; in fact, he might even be proud of you for it, as he wants you to be as healthy as possible. As he himself said, you won’t find the solution to a problem at the bottom of a bottle, so the last thing he wants is for you to get addicted to drinking like he unfortunately is.

✦ With that being said, he’ll happily mix up non-alcoholic drinks for you; from a fresh Mojito to a tasty Virgin Bloody Mary, he can make any cocktail of your liking without adding the alcohol. This way, you’ll fully be able to savor the flavour of the drink.

✦ If you’re not looking for a drink however, and you’d rather just sit down at the counter and talk to him, he’ll be pretty surprised at first. He’s so used to seeing all the other residents of the Hotel drunk and overly emotional that he barely considered the possibility that you might be there just for him.

✦ He really appreciates it though, and won’t deny you of any kind of conversation with him. He doesn’t usually reveal much about himself, but during your conversations the topic of your past lives will probably come up and he’ll tell you a bit about what his was like. Travelling, playing the saxophone at lounge bars and magic, this was what his life was really about, and as he recounts events that happened to him with a distant nostalgia in his eyes, you do nothing but listen, somewhat wishing you could have been able to meet when you were alive.

✦ He asks about yourself too, of course, and he’s a pretty good listener too. He leans on the counter slightly, ears perked up, genuinely interested in what you have to say. He asks questions and chuckles at your jokes and at your funny stories, his laugh spontaneous and gusty.

✦ One day he casually mentions card tricks, and when you ask him to show you some and how to perform them he’s eager to teach you. it’s not really because he wants to show off or because he likes being in the centre of attention, it’s mostly because it’s you who’s asking and he could never deny you of something as he’s grown fond of you. And also because yes, maybe he enjoys showing off a bit to you too...

✦ He shows you the simplest things first, like how to shuffle cards properly. Then comes the more difficult stuff: the mind reading card trick, the four Aces card trick, eights end up together...you find everything quite fun, and his explanations are easy to follow.

✦ Eventually, you learn how to perform these, even though with a bit of a struggle at first, and you ask him to watch you as you show your friends what you’ve learned. He observes proudly, shaking his head and chuckling endearingly when you perform the first card trick wrong, overcome with emotion. He nudges you with his tail, and reminds you to take a deep breath and stay concentrated next time you try this – you eventually succeed, and he flashes you the first smile showing his sharp teeth.

✦ You two end up playing cards together, since he knows many ways of playing too. He’s eager to show you those as well if you don’t really know how to play, and the best part is that he’s pretty patient and doesn’t really judge you for not knowing every rule.

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

Do you think TOH made people care and then ripped them apart for it?

I was still in high school when I started watching the series and I loved it. I didn't have good grades, I am neurodivergent and bisexual and was thought of as a weirdo and bullied and condescended for crying at school or acting like I was younger than I was and things along those lines. I related to Luz SO HARD. I wanted to be in the Boiling Isles. I imagined myself finding a way there. I had little 'imagine spots' and loved the mystery and the wild and unconventional aesthetics and I even got into some of the stuff you see on r/WitchesVsPatriarchy because of it. I couldn't wait for more story. I was sure everything would be resolved by the end.

Somewhere along the lines, the characters were no longer characters to me. They were real, and had real feelings and struggles and experiences. And somewhere else along the line, the Collector came, and Hollow Mind happened.

I was terrified. I kept watching, though. I wanted to know what would happen to everyone I loved. Hollow Mind was a great episode though, and I thought it and the rest of Season 3 were building up to something big.

They were not. They were building up to something extremely poorly explained that was erased in the last episode. No flashbacks. No face reveals. Caleb and Evelyn do not speak. We still have no idea what happened. How old were he and Philip? What made him trust Evelyn? Why was Evelyn in the human realm? What were the circumstances of the knife fight? WHY did Philip kill Caleb? How long was he looking for him? So many unanswered questions hand-waved in the finale, and anytime someone complains the response is 'but thuh shortuhning.' Boo fucking hoo. They had the time to explain things and they did not. If you weren't knee-deep in fandom and didn't read social media, you may not even know Hunter was a Grimwalker. You'd be left extremely confused about what Belos is and what the hell he wanted. And yet people use 'blame the big bad Disney' as an excuse. Less wasting time in Hexside tormenting students, more on what we give a damn about.

Speaking of Hexside.

I know all that shit with the puppets was supposedly 'necessary', but imagine if you'd been hiding from a potential genocide and suddenly everyone you love has been turned into nonsentient dolls by some unknown god and you're forced to hide and your remaining loved ones are missing and you're barely surviving, your life has been flipped, everything you knew is a lie and you don't know when or if it'll end. That's what it was like for them, and it is not treated like the traumatic and horrifying event that it was. It is joked about and used as a punchline and at best is unneeded filler that creates problems. And then there's Boscha - a girl treated horribly by the fandom and show both. Her friends have been turned into puppets and she is being used by Kikimora, she doesn't know what's happening, it's the apocalypse, she's sad and scared and confused and doesn't know what to do. She lashes out at people because of it. Perhaps she was so clingy towards Amity because her friend had vanished for ages and she finally knew she wasn't a puppet or dead. She is laughed at. Treated as an obstacle for Amity to overcome. Abandoned at Hexside. Given no real redemption. Just left to cry alone. And outside the show, fans will treat her like garbage. I have known people who wanted to tear her head off, or wanted her expelled from Hexside after becoming the least popular girl in school and losing all her friends. This is a teenager going through an unspeakably horrible event that will leave her with PTSD. She deserves exploration. She deserves more from the show and more from fans. Even Dana was asked once if she'd be redeemed - she said 'I think some people don't deserve redemption'. Or something along the lines. Bravo, Dana. Bravo, everyone.

And then the aesthetic switch. I praised the unique aesthetic. All reds and dusty colours and widespread. It made me really think of something abandoned. Someplace really wild. The Collector took over and turned it all star-themed and pastel, and it stayed that way. The Archive House stayed up. They call it the 'king's crown'. It remains a bland galaxy aesthetic with no trace of what they had in Season 1. They might as well reward the Collector for destroying the Isles.

And finally, Luz having to go back to human high school where she was bullied and had bad grades and didn't fit in. I used the Isles as an escape. I wanted to attend Hexside *so bad* and it was clear the show wanted the viewers to want it. So to have Luz go back and spend three years rebuilding the Isles whenever she went there - it broke me. It felt like my guts being torn to pieces. Everyone having to rebuild the Isles. Bland construction. Luz missing three birthdays. If I wanted child labour and bland construction and a horrible high school experience, I'd look at the world today. Luz was forced away from her home and into the place she deserved to escape from. High school is hell. And to top it off, what with current events, I truly do not want Luz abandoned here, among the rise of the far-right and schools doing jack-all for their students and some days when it seems everyone wants to kill each other. Luz does not deserve to be abandoned here, going to human high school and spending all her time in the Isles rebuilding it. No more fun. No more fantasy. No more adventures. Just construction. Everyday construction and a bland pastel star aesthetic replacing what I love. It's not weird anymore. I have lost the Boiling Isles. I feel this is reflected in the door redesign. The wooden Titan Eye design was all wooden, rough, mysterious and possibly alive. The new design is just a blah plastic pastel star design. It's boring.

Maybe I'm being a bit extreme, but I have held onto this for ages and no one shares my sentiments and it hurts like hell. If you could respond, that would be wonderful.

But yeah. TL;DR: This show made me care and then killed my escape and broke me and every character I love.

The Isles is dead, and this show has hurt me in the worst possible way.

I'm sorry that the show has had such a negative effect on you; it absolutely sucks to become so emotionally attached to something only for it to all fall apart in the end. It can feel like all that time and energy was wasted and that you were foolish to like it at all. But no, you did not waste anything. I think it's helpful if you reframe your thoughts because I am concerned about how much this show has affected your mindset.

The show did not break you. Its ending did not meet your expectations and you were disappointed by it. That's ok. A lot of people felt the final season was lacking, even when taking the cancellation into account. The joy and connection you felt in the early seasons still matter. They still helped you in a time when you needed it. Hold onto the happiness you felt and use that as a source of strength instead of blowing your disappointment out of proportion.

It also seems like you're connecting your experiences with Luz. Luz is fictional. She can't be affected by the real world. Within the context of the show, rebuilding the isles is necessary because the Boiling Isles is her home, too. It signifies a new age in which wild magic can flourish. She's choosing to be there as part of the community to rebuild a place that was nearly destroyed. Luz achieved her dream of becoming a witch. She can study and live in the Boiling Isles and visit her mom whenever she wants in the human realm. There is still fun. There is still fantasy.

Going back to the idea of reframing your thoughts: if something has upset you in a story, take a step back and look at it from the author's perspective. What were they trying to achieve? Does this fit in with the established world building and characterization? Did it upset you for narrative reasons or personal ones? So much discourse in fandom can be traced to the fact that fans have their own ideas of how characters should act instead of what is established in the story and what makes sense for that world. You need to look at a story from a narrative point of view instead of a personal one, that way any potential disappointment is not so emotionally-loaded.

Finally, to answer your question, no I do not believe that TOH was made to disappoint fans. Quite the opposite, actually. In the Post-Hoots and on social media, the crew talk about how much the show means to them and how touched they are about all the fan support they have received. Toh is a show made with love and a desire to please its audience--much to its detriment.

I really think the crux of your issue is that the show deeply disappointed you while everyone else loved it. That can feel incredibly isolating and as a Belos fan, I can relate. My advice is to find like-minded individuals so you all can healthily vent together while coming up with goofy head canons of your favorite characters. That's what I do (and endlessly complain about the lost potential. There is catharsis in it). Finally, move onto other shows and other communities, you will find better stories that will enrich you.

Stories can have a profound effect on people but not to the point that they make you feel "broken." My old mentor once said to "take the meat and throw out the bone." Basically, take whatever is useful for you and ignore the rest. You can do this with TOH, take whatever "meat" you found valuable and don't let the "bones" get you down.

I hope you take whatever meat you can from my advice. Please take care of yourself and surround yourself with people and things you love. Explore new stories, meet new people, and continue to grow.

The fantasy is not dead.

[superb-fruit-pigeon]

Ok I have more Nimona thoughts. NIMONA MOVIE AND COMIC SPOILERS BELOW!!!

I don’t think it should have been for kids. I think they should have marketed it more towards teens and young adults. Nimona is a story about queer wrath. About anger and bitterness and finding the love and hope and community in and despite that. All three main characters are morally grey. They have killed. They have made mistakes. Their relationships are complicated.

I just feel like… I as a queer adult want more queer stories that arent happy. That have that anger against the system without the perfect happy ending. Nimona felt cathartic because of that. As a trans person, i really loved how Nimona hid aspects of herself to make her look more palatable and weak. I feel that as someone who constantly has to downplay my transness for my own safety. Seeing her struggle and snap and get ANGRY at the institution that wants to weaponize her just meant a lot to the story. Its messy its raw! Its not perfect.

Nimona is a story of betrayal and trauma and getting the courage to fight back. The ending where nimona parts ways with ballister shows that sometimes relationships that mean a lot still have to end. That the power of friendship doesn’t fix all your problems, and that doesn’t mean you should stop loving. That doesn’t make those relationships meaningless. Its really hard to get a clear moral message from nimona because its so complex emotionally. And I just feel like you need the on screen murders and the blood and the betrayal and the bar scene in all its broken ribs, shattered glass, and bloody-nosed glory.

That darkness and complexity makes the story unique and interesting and the movie just felt so sanitized by comparison. Nimona is innocent in this adaptation. She talks a big game but she hasn’t killed a soul. ambrosius cut ballister’s arm because he was trained to, not out of anger and jealousy. Ballister is doe eyed and hopeful, not a jaded and complex person with years of loneliness and villainy under his belt. It just changes the dynamics so much that it feels so… empty. Not nearly as punk or raw or scary or sad or complicated.

I just want the wrath and the anger and the bitterness. I want the messy. I want to see them overcome that. And sometimes fall to it. I want to see how painfully human this story is. How nimona is both the scared little girl and the terrifying dragon.

P.S: the movie is still good and worth the watch please watch it and support this really cool queer media! The animation is awesome and its very sweet and emotional. And if you disagree with my crazy rant thats totally ok I know a lot of people really really love this adaptation and that is valid.

[sang8262]

in a yapping mood, and i cant draw well, so here's some *gasp*, self insert-OC related ramblings?!?!?

the elevator pitch summary is:

A fledgling author and researcher who becomes unwittingly enthralled in JP's schemes after visiting Nayshall for a thesis project.

Forced to work for his NGO (and later Neo Shadaloo) as an advisor after showing promise with Psycho Power.

Wrestles with doing the right thing and opposing JP's influence, yet unable to abandon her deeper emotions towards him.

...with more deets below-

I don't even have a proper name for her yet, since I'm bad with that lmao. But I guess as a sorta self insert, they could be Millon.. for now?? Eh I'll figure it out later.

---

The impetus and circumstance for which she meets JP is that,

she's researching Nayshall's rapid devlopment, and the public health problems its facing as a nascent country. Particularly, how the visitors and participants of the Suval'Hal Martial Arts Tournament (SMAT) have access to the best doctors and emergency aid available... yet the greater local population lacking reliable access to affordable health care.

She has the chance to interview and speak with tournament organizer, Johann Petrovich, about the SMAT and current issues. She surprisingly finds him agreeable, polite, and level-headed. Realizing he has a lot of power as the country's policy advisor, she tries to convince him towards implementing healthcare policies that would allocate more resources for those who need it.

Her mistake is trusting JP as someone willing to aid the suffering, someone who wants things to be better for everyone. Once she does though, it's far too late to rid of his clutches on her.

---

I'm imagining she initially is on good terms with him. She respects his investment into developing the country, and even finds his NGO, Terra Network Partners (TNP) potentially a place to work at. Of course, this is before realizing the money laundering and his connections with Shadaloo.

I can see JP convincing her into relying on him and being complicit in his schemes by offering her a stable position within his NGO. Or funding her research and writing. Having the support and endorsement of someone his calibur would be a huge boon to her academic career afterall...

Then, maybe it's either from her own prying, or after a not-so-chance meeting with Kalima and the resistance, but she eventually realizes the kind of person JP is.

By then though, she's far too entangled with JP and his organization to cut ties and escape. In fact, she realizes that her discussions with him have been helping him make more predatory decisions.

---

In a heated revelation of the truth, he might use Psycho Power to fully subdue her: mostly with expectations that she'd not survive it, silencing any incriminating publication about him in the future. And because even if she didn't die, she would now be dependant on him as a mentor, to continue surviving the awful power forced upon her.

Turns out she has a lot of disdain and despair, enough to fuel and sustain Psycho Power. He's not fully interested in helping her per se, but decides she will do less potential harm if kept close under his watch. And so she struggles now, to find a way to escape Shadaloo and quell her bloodlust. But it's not an easy influence to overcome...

---

I mean, it's a self SHIP afterall, so I'm having it be like a development of:

-wow this guy is GREAT, i respect him a lot! he's so kind! we could work together to do a lot of good things :)

-wow nevermind, this guy SUCKS, i have to escape/ stop him!! >:(

-Psycho Power makes it very difficult to think clearly and all my worst emotions are amplified a ton! i am also forced to learn under JP, and work for him, and woah did he always look so handsome :0

Then throw in a healthy amount of manipulation and sweet talking on JP's behalf and poor self insert OC is doomed to tragedy.

---

Design wise, I have no idea!!!! I guess I would make them The Cooler Me, but right now I got nothing. I'll come back to it lmao

[thespineoftherighteous]

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the upper classmen being a mirror to each monster? That's not an idea I've seen before and I am Intrigued.

oooh anon this is such a scrumptious delicious concept thanks for asking. but also I definitely wasn't the first one to come up with this..there was a post I saw last year? the year before? that broke the parallels down really well. I'll try to find it

anyway so I think the basis of it is that each of the upperclassmen mirror one of the monsters in regards to the main issues they struggle with. more than that though they represent what it's like to find a way to live through those problems, that overcoming them can be done, because they're more developed, more matured than the monsters. and, because by the end of the series all the monsters have grown a lot from where they were at the beginning, you can see them at a point (or getting to a point) in life not unlike where their respective upperclassman is.

there's Matt and Aaron: both of them struggled hugely with drug addiction (influenced by their parents), both of them were at a point where shit could've gone downhill fast and both of them were forced out of it by the same person. although Matt technically got clean after Aaron, he seemed to get mentally healthier much faster (which makes sense given the difference in relationships, support, goals, etc of their situations). Matt immediately sees it as a chance given to him to start over; Aaron, perhaps because he still had something as equally consuming as drugs- Andrew and his deals- doesn't seem to evolve in that way until close to the end of the series. you can also see how they resemble each other in how they don't respond to provoking shit as much as the rest of the team (they're like the chill ones of their respective groups, with different vibes) but they will rise to violence if someone they care about is threatened.

Allison and Nicky are an easy one to see, I think. both of them had families who wanted them to be a certain way, who would rather kick them out than accept them as they were. the difference between them is that Allison has accepted it with a "fuck them" attitude while Nicky (as far as mid-trk) still reaches out, still wants to have a relationship with them. he still desperately craves that love and acceptance so much that he almost voluntarily keeps getting hurt, in a way that Allison has already decided isn't worth it.

there's Renee and Andrew: both deadly protective, these are the goalies, the protectors, the ones watching everyone's backs; both had unfathomably awful childhoods and both cover up/protect themselves from said childhoods in particular ways. Renee is on relatively good terms with the universe while Andrew, as in control as he makes himself out to be, is searching for something he thinks he could never have..for purpose, and for the nothing that he finds in Neil. with these two, it's never that Andrew's boundaries and distrust of others are things he needs to grow out of but that Renee represents a different response- she becomes the kindness she was never shown, he holds a knife to anything that could hurt him again.

Dan and Kevin: they're the ones that could've done everything right but still would've had circumstances work against them. they might be good but, according to others, they're not good enough, always dismissed, always overshadowed. the stark difference between them is that Kevin believes in the 2 on his face (until he doesn't) and Dan never does. the doubt bounces off Dan while Kevin absorbs it like sponge until someone like Andrew wrings it out of him. Kevin puts his full weight on his support (until he doesn't); Dan's never had that support to begin with so she only knows how to live without it. Dan knows her worth and will project it in bright orange writing, Kevin was taught his worth in finite numbers, so long as his feet stay on the court, and he's never certain of it (until he is). the glorious thing about this, though, is that you can literally see on page when Kevin overcomes this. it takes every fucking ounce of his strength but he gets the tattoo. he walks out with his stick in his left hand. he beats Riko, in ever way. it's magnificent. (I digress)

and then there's Seth and Neil. I think they could be interchangeable with Dan and Kevin actually but I like this one better. I don't think they necessarily mirror each other as cleanly as the others and I don't want to force it for sake of having everyone neatly paired off. but shit... they're the end and the beginning, respectively. Neil is the first success story, the embodiment of what Wymack's team stands for, Seth is an example of why that's what it stands for. Neil has no life, Seth has no use for his. Seth falls victim to the fate Neil spent years of his life running away from.

all that being said. it's not to say that the upperclassmen have completely healed from their pasts and don't have plenty issues of their own. I think anyone can see that *all* of the foxes have room to grow. it's just that they're a lot more developed in where they're at in life. and I think the monsters are not all at the same place in their healing because that's not something that's linear and it's not always as easily seen as a tattoo on the face. I think Kevin and Neil, for example, are at a more adjusted place by the end of tkm (Neil more so) but you can see all of them heading in better directions.

it's also not to say that to Heal™ the monsters have to be exactly where the upperclassmen are. that's also not how it works. but it is working. and (hot take? maybe?) I think that's something Nora does well. she lets them grow. their growth isn't always on page or in the definitive shape of a queen tattoo or finished by the end of the series but it is certainly there.

[staytinyville]

Lee Know

PLEASE REFER TO MASTERLIST TO GET FULL TAROT READING EXPERIENCE

↣ Summary: When your life suddenly takes a turn, and you're faced with large changes, you question if you’re ready for them. Lee Know is there to tell you it’s what you’ve been waiting for.

↣ Characters/Pairing: Lee Minho x gn!Reader

↣ Genre: fluff

↣ AU/Trope info: 9th member!au, idol!au, pre-debut!Lee Know, pre-debut!reader

↣ Word Count: 624

↣ Warnings: None

↣ A/N: We read nth member AUs here. There are a couple throughout the event. It did come out a bit smaller than I was hoping, but having a full story for each card isn’t the point. It’s just something fun to read while getting a tarot reading. 

JUDGMENT

Judgment, Rebirth, Inner Calling, Absolution

This is your moment to prepare yourself for something bigger. You have been reborn like a phoenix and are now ready to experience your spiritual awakening. You are meant to embrace the new you and forget the past.

This is a card that is meant to tell you that you need to make life changing decisions but not with your head rather with your heart. You know things are going to be different from here on out but you need to let yourself feel those moments that will ultimately lead you to a better time.

You’re reaching the point in your life that is meant to take you higher than you are meant to be. It’s a place that the universe has ready for you after you realized that the things you’ve done in the past will only stay in the past. It’s also a card that brings you to share your struggles with other like minded people. Make sure you have those close to you in order to grow and come out of your shell.

XX JUDGMENT

You watched over the replay of the last performance you did with the other boys. You also looked for the replies that came with each video of you. While you got the same amount of hate as the other boys, you didn’t seem to have many fans compared to the others. Your lips pulled together as you began to worry that you wouldn’t make it as far as the others. 

“You okay?” Someone asked you as they came to sit next to you on the couch. 

You gave Minho a smile in acknowledgment, setting your phone back down before turning to the TV screen in the room. Watching the performance pass by your eyes, you sighed to yourself. 

“Should I do this?” You asked Minho.

“What do you mean?” He frowned, looking at you oddly. 

Minho tried just as hard as you, if not harder. But he was someone who already had something under his belt to push him forward. Heck, he was a back-up dancer for BTS. All of the boys had something that made them stand out in a crowd, which made you feel like you were someone who easily blended in. Someone who wouldn’t be noticed in the group. 

“Should I continue with this whole idol thing?” You said. 

“Isn't this what you've always wanted?” Minho quickly spoke up. “You always talk about it.”

You were someone who was passionate about what you wanted. It’s what he found appealing about you. You demanded people to notice your presence in the room with how powerful you were in everything. You might have had trouble doing certain crafts, but you would try your hardest to find the perfect spot within it. 

“It's my dream more than anything.” You told him honestly. “It's what I want to do with myself.”

“Then why are you doubting?” He asked you.

“Because I'm scared of the changes that come with it.” You admitted. “They are inevitable–I know that for a fact, but I worry that they'll be too much for me.”

Here you were, not even a debuted idol yet, and already you're thinking of yourself negatively. Finding out where the problem was has always been the first step to overcoming your insecurities. You knew what it was that was making you doubt yourself, and you wanted to squash them down before you even got the chance to go out as an idol. 

“If you go into this thinking that it will be your downfall.” Minho told you. “This is your dream, and you know every consequence that will come from it. You've done your research, you're not going into this blind.”

“You have all of us going in with you. You're not alone in whatever you struggle with in the future. We are in this together at this point.” He finished. 

You turned to him, tears welling in your eyes as you understood that things were going to go the way they needed to. You had made it this far in your adventure into the idol world. You were going to struggle–you knew that much. It was what came with this kind of career. 

It wasn’t like you weren’t going into the whole thing blind. The changes that were going to come into your life were something you prepared for. You were someone who thought deeper into things than others. All those nights spent trying to reach that perfect performance each time was going to be worth it for you. The moment you debut with the others, everything was going to fall into place for you.

And just like Minho said, you weren’t going to allow yourself to go through it alone. You now had 8 other boys who were willing to share your struggles. 

“Thanks, Minho.”

Tags : @cultofdionysusnet , @sandsofire , @k-vanity

[undead-merman]

Part one to this story, ‘Demon King Diavolo and Hero Reader’ is on my Patreon

RPG Demon Husband Diavolo with Hero GN-Reader SFW Part 2

A New Life

It was a journey in itself getting married. The whole demon population wanted to show up and you got to meet those larger demons, Mammon, Leviathan, the twins Beelzebub and Belphegor, Satan, Asmodeus, and Lucifer. Turns out they were demon lords and ruled under Diavolo’s command. Astonishingly the seven didn’t seem to hate you for what you’ve done, humiliating them. Well they regain their powers over time even if you still possess them… and you made the most miserable Diavolo a happy man, so they can overlook it. They also respect your skills. 

Now as newlyweds Diavolo wanted to live in that small home that you now owned. He had an interest in knowing how you lived, knowing your struggles, and wanting to be there for you in a simple humble life. Of course, he still had duties but he did them from an old scrying orb that looked so out of place in your cozy home. 

The townsfolk did not take too kindly to the new change, they hated having the source of the country’s invasion right in the home of the hero that saved them. But Diavolo insisted that he stay, he refused to drag you out of your life more than the world already had. 

He was a good husband. He had a hard time at first finding out and learning about cooking human food. Beef instead of vile black dragon tail? He had a hard time finding out what was toxic. Luckily Leviathan’s and Beelzebub's powers made you immune to all poisons and the horrible taste. 

Diavolo was trying, he spent many nights reading over books on human cultures, foods, and even love stories so he could come up with more down-to-earth ways to surprise you. He treated you well gushing over you from the moment you woke up to the second you fell asleep. He was trying so hard to be the husband that you deserved.     

The Struggles

Not everyone appreciated his efforts though. And it’s not like you could blame some of them. Terrorized by demons during the war, lost loved ones. But Divolo never fought back. He takes stoning from some of the children in town and comes home without a bruise but dirt all over him. 

He had experienced this in his childhood. You learned he was a half-demon, born to a mother of human blood and while the demons of his kingdom never saw it as a problem when he lived in a human city he was always tormented. 

Still he seemed to hold no ill will to any of the townsfolk. He wanted to live through the consequences of his actions, even if it was for his people. You’d hear people calling him the foulest of names as he walked back in with a bag from the market.

People didn’t say a thing to him while you were around. They even tried to get along with him. It was sickening to watch as some of the people you knew that was the nastiest to him were overly nice to him when you were there. Diavolo even played along, smiling and laughing. 

Still there were some times he’d come back and confess that he’d hurt someone. They spoke ill of you in front of him. It was something that was seared into his blood, a demon custom to battle and even maim those who spoke ill of their companions. Even worse when they insulted their partners. 

He held back but came to you weeping and asking for forgiveness. He’s tried so hard and he’s never been more sorry. Weeping into your stomach. A grown man, a king, on his knees heartbroken that he betrayed his promise to you and hurt someone who had always antagonized him. 

You had always tried to change things, but seeing your husband like this sparked villainous anger inside you.   

Overcoming

One morning you stood in the town square and called upon the power of demons inside you to let your voice carry loud and far. It startled everyone awake and they all peeked their heads out. When they saw it was you, they came like dogs to scraps. 

You didn’t hold back, you could feel the veins in your arms burn as you yelled. You told the town of Diavolo’s efforts, of how he cared for the people who had taken from his kingdom and forced his hand. Then how he’s trying to right his wrongs only to be met with a wall of hatred.

They listened as you called out the parents who taught their children that it was okay to hurt him, that he deserved it, the people who were two-faced to him just to get on your good side, you hiss it all through your teeth. 

Some cried and begged for forgiveness, some shut their mouths and refused to look you in the eyes. You had had enough. From your life from before and now. 

So you took Diavolo and returned to his castle. The demons were delighted but Diavolo kept apologizing to you for everything. He was only silenced by your kiss. 

You took from him, and as a good spouse you had to make compromises. If he was much happier here then so be it you’d give up your human life and live here with him. The lords did playfully mock you but were thrilled to have you, even if you were human. Asmodeus even suggested you become one of them, Human’s could do that after all with some effort. 

Whatever you decided to do, it was an easier life here, and Diavolo continued to be a doting husband to you from every waking moment. But now, you decided to do the same. Treating him like the king he is, and making up for all the hardships you both endured. 

[darkangel1791]

TV Fanatic

Shadowhunters: 31 of Our Favorite Malec Moments

Rachel Foertsch at July 23, 2018 3:37 pm.

The relationship between Magnus and Alec on Shadowhunters is one of the best 'ships currently on television.

Alec is a Shadowhunter and head of the New York Institute while Magnus is the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Seeing as they're both in charge of two groups who don't particularly get along, they have the odds stacked against them in almost every way.

Despite their struggles, Alec and Magnus never let their differences keep them apart. They have proved throughout the series that their love is strong enough to overcome anything life throws at them.

Not only are they great representation for the LGBTQ community, but they also have a pure and healthy relationship that everyone can look up to. They're one of the many reasons we're all fighting so hard to #SaveShadowhunters.

It's obviously impossible to name every amazing Malec scene, but we compiled a slideshow of 31 of our favorite Malec moments below!

And don't forget you can see these moments for yourself by watching Shadowhunters online right here on TV Fanatic! 

1. Their first time on 2x18 "Awake, Arise, or Be Forever Fallen"

There are so many amazing things that could be said about this scene as a whole. The music, the kissing, and Alec telling Magnus how beautiful he is officially ended us all.

2. Team work makes the dream work on 3x02 "The Powers That Be"

Anytime Malec teams up in the face of danger they always accomplish their goal. It's clear that being around each other makes them stronger.

3. Alec and Magnus' first kiss on 1x12 "Malec"

This was the iconic kiss that no one will ever forget. Alec literally walked back down the aisle of his own wedding to plant one on Magnus in front of everyone. And yes, Magnus and Alec are so epic that they actually had an episode named after them.

4. That time they turned Shadowhunters into a crime drama on 3x02 "The Powers That Be"

Somehow, Magnus and Alec are the best partners in crime and the worst. Being sneaky and subtle is not their strong suit, yet surprisingly they still managed to get the job done.

5. Malec gets domestic AF on 3x03 "What Lies Beneath"

Alec's cooking may not have been the best but thankfully Magnus was there to make some er...magical improvements. But you know what they say, a couple who cooks together stays together.

6. AU Alec pulls a Magnus on 1x10 "This World Inverted"

When Magnus and Alec first met Magnus inferred that Alec was playing hard to get. It's a good thing Magnus and otherworldly Alec both love a challenge.

7. Magnus and Alec kill us with cuteness on 3x01 "On Infernal Ground"

This scene was all kinds of adorable. Once Magnus is truthful with Alec and admits he doesn't want him to go to Idris, Alec tells him that his real dream was finding someone like Magnus. He assures Magnus that he's not going anywhere.

8. Cuddling ensues the morning after on 2x18 "Awake, Arise, or Be Forever Fallen"

Their first morning after was everything we hoped it would be and more. It's clear just how much these two love each other and what the night before meant to them.

9. Magnus being a worried boyfriend on 2x13 "Those of Demon Blood"

Seeing Magnus worry about Alec going out alone was absolutely precious. Honestly, these two couldn't act any more married if they tried.

10. Malec is here to stay on 2x08 "Love is a Devil"

We already knew that Malec was a permanent thing, but hearing Alec say the words out loud to Magnus was especially satisfying.

11. Gift giving on 2x07 "How Are Thou Fallen"

Like Magnus said, Alec is always surprising him. In just one of many examples of him being an adorable boyfriend, Alec gives Magnus an Omamori charm which is said to offer health and protection.

12. Magnus and Alec talk it out on 2x01 "This Guilty Blood"

It's impossible for couples to go through life without facing challenges. But Magnus lets Alec know that they need to work through problems together instead of getting nervous and pushing each other away.

13. Immortality angst on 3x05 "Stronger Than Heaven"

It's not that we love the angst but well...we love the angst. The fact that the basis of Magnus and Alec's fight was that they never wanted to be without each other was somehow both heartbreaking and heartwarming.

14. Alec comforts Magnus on 2x15 "A Problem of Memory"

Magnus finally opened up to Alec about what he was going through and Alec did the only thing he could. He was there for him completely.

15. True love's kiss on 2x03 "Parabatai Lost"

Things were not looking good for Alec this episode. His soul was lost alongside his parabatai's and getting Jace back was the only way to wake Alec up. Although it (sadly) didn't work, the fact that Magnus tried to kiss Alec back to life gave us all the feels.

16. Magnus and Alec's first date on 2x06 "Iron Sisters"

A first date was much needed between these two. They finally got to talk about the things that were important to each of them. Despite Alec not being at all experienced and Magnus being extremely experienced in the dating world, they showed how determined they are to make things work.

17. Malec teaches us about healthy relationships on 2x20 "Beside Still Water"

In the words of Magnus Bane quoting Alec Lightwood, relationships take effort. Magnus and Alec both understand that in order to have a healthy relationship they need to put in the work. And these two are willing to do whatever it takes.

18. Alec tells Magnus he loves him on 2x10 "By the Light of Dawn"

After Alec spent a few horrifying moments thinking that Magnus was dead, we got an epic declaration of love. Their first I love you is always going to be one of Shadowhunters' best scenes and it's impossible to watch it dry-eyed.

19. Love at first sight on 1x04 "Raising Hell"

From the moment Magnus and Alec met sparks were flying. You can tell from Alec's nervous smile and the way he can't keep his eyes off Magnus that he is crushing hard.

20. Magnus and Alec get back together on 2x20 "Beside Still Water"

When Magnus and Alec are together it almost feels like everything in the show is going to be okay. When they were apart the world was very literally falling apart around them. Alec tells Magnus that he can't live without him, and we connected with Alec on a spiritual level.

21. A magical dinner by the fire on 2x17 "A Dark Reflection"

When Alec misses their date, Magnus brings the date to him with a wave of his hand. Having a boyfriend with magic powers sure does come in handy.

22. Alec (literally) gives Magnus his strength on 1x06 "Of Men and Angels"

Even warlocks can run out of power and Magnus was fading fast. Thankfully, Alec was there to offer his own strength in whatever way he needed. Magnus was obviously surprised by Alec's inclination to help him and admitted that it's rare to find a Shadowhunter with such an open heart.

23. The aftermath of Valentine's destruction on 2x12 "You Are Not Your Own"

This entire episode was absolutely tragic. When Magnus is hurting so is Alec, and the devastation when he realized he couldn't take away Magnus' pain is agonizing. This moment may not be a happy one, but it definitely made us emotional.

24. Alec opens Magnus up to love for the first time in a century on 1x06 "Of Men and Angels"

Although Magnus had been in love with both men and women before, he closed himself off from feeling anything for anyone for almost a century. But from the moment he met Alec his heart immediately opened back up. If that's not true love than what is?

25. The heartbreaking goodbye on 3x10 "Erchomai"

This scene was a mess of emotions. Magnus couldn't stand by and do nothing while he watched someone so important to the man he loves fade away. Alec told Magnus that he needs to make it back and of course, Magnus' reply was perfect.

26. Unofficial first drinks on 1x06 "Of Men and Angels"

What Alec doesn't know in this scene is that he's sharing his first drink with the love of his life. Of course, with the way these two couldn't keep their eyes off of each other they must have had some idea.

27. Malec's photo booth pics on 2x19 "Hail and Farewell"

Magnus staring at a photo strip of him and Alec after their breakup was devasting. But we couldn't help but fawn over the fact that Magnus and Alec actually had the chance to go out and do cute couple things. Where's our flashback of the photo booth scene?

28. Magnus tries to convince Alec to call off his wedding on 1x12 "Malec"

We were right there with you Magnus. Even though Lydia was a great character, Alec was only marrying her out of duty and obligation. Magnus could see right through him and tried to get Alec to admit who he really had feelings for.

29. Hug and make up on 3x07 "Salt in the Wound"

These two still had some things to talk about, but in this moment the only thing that mattered was their love for each other. With other things taking precedence, they just had to take a moment to make sure the other knew they were sorry.

30. Handholding on 3x02 "The Powers That Be"

Alec was pretty nervous about being the only Shadowhunter in a party full of warlocks, but Magnus was quick to help calm his nerves.

31. Reconciliations on 2x13 "Those of Demon Blood"

After Alec realized he was in the wrong for asking Magnus for a piece of hair to verify his innocence, Alec assures him that he never has to prove himself. He trusts Magnus implicitly.

[puppy-phum]

Thai BL Favorites List Tag Game

thanks for the tag vi @feralmuskyscentedhoepran​ ♥ tho i still hate you for forcing me to choose between my children smh 

(most of these shows are ones i’ve watched quite recently. i also tried choosing different shows and making this diverse but well, i have my brainrot so. excuse me.) 

favourite bl: vice versa

i know i am very biased when it comes to this but i don’t care. vice versa was the perfect show for me. it’s silly and fun and absolutely bonkers at times. but it’s also sweet and gentle and comforting and so full of meaning i don’t know where to begin. i know it has its flaws but despite them, all i feel is warm while watching it ♥

favourite pairing: patpran

despite failing to separate all the actor/fandom drama from this show and now always feeling this bitter sadness bc of it while watching bb, pat and pran remain one of my forever favourite bl couples. they are perfect in many ways and watching their story filled me with love and joy. i am happy someone like pran has someone like pat to stay beside him. i am happy someone like pat has someone like pran to adore. i am simply happy to know these two fools are together, forever ♥

most underrated actor: sea tawinan

i think both vice versa and 55:15 have shown us how good this boy is at acting. he’s brilliant and will come far once gmm lets him out of the basement. really hoping 2024 gives a lot of new projects for sea so he can test his wings some more. 

favourite character: nuengdiao in never let me go

i know some ppl hated on nuengdiao for acting like he did. and i’m not saying i wasn’t frustrated at times bc of how bratty or impulsive he is, but i also understand why. first of all, he’s horribly young. and secondly, he’s so afraid of love for what it can do. it’s the dilemma in him: to want love so desperately but to fear it bc it can cause pain. watching him overcome this fear and to gain confidence in himself throughout the show filled me with pride. in some sense, he is me, i am him, and we grew up together like this ♥

favourite side character: kan in the eclipse

for what it’s worth, i truly loved the eclipse for its characters. the show might have disappointed me, but it left me with a collection of characters and dynamics i absolutely adore. kan is one of them, probably the most important one. his journey to self acceptance felt personal to me. his pain was my own and his happiness felt ours to share. 

favourite scene: liming with uncle jim

i know this isn’t really a scene related to a bl plot aka this is not a scene between a bl couple. but this one scene is so, so important to me. throughout moonlight chicken, i could relate to liming’s pain a lot. he was struggling to be an independent person while living in the world of adults. he was struggling in a society treating him and others around him as someone different, someone less worthy. he was struggling with his feelings towards his mother who left him but claimed to love him. and he had horrible fights with uncle jim, but then he says it’s easy for him to know he loves him. it’s simple as that. and sometimes i wish it was as simple. maybe one day it will be. maybe one day the love will not feel like a burden. 

favourite line: 

“Something that doesn’t bother me could be someone else’s huge burden. About pain... It’s an absolute thing for a person. It’s not something you can compare. If I feel pain, then it’s pain.” – something i try to tell ppl around me who are struggling and are scared to seek help. something i try to tell myself when i feel like my feelings don’t matter bc someone else has bigger problems. 

“I don’t get why you like me.” – cha siwon is one of those characters i relate to a lot and this question absolutely broke me. i feel it in my soul. it’s something i asked my ex once back when we were still together. what would be the reason for anyone to feel like that about me?

both these lines are from blueming. i cannot choose between them. watching that show is like looking into my own head and that’s why i love many of the lines and dialogues in it. 

most anticipated bl and why: last twilight

everyone and their mother probably knows how insane i am about this show. it’s just so perfect, in so many ways. the setting is interesting, the story seems angsty af while also being extremely gentle, it’s directed by p’aof, it’s jimmysea. it was made for me. i am both overjoyed and terrified to know it will air this year. 

healthiest relationship in a bl: puentalay

listen. i know some ppl keep giving shit to puen for being “manipulative” which absolutely baffles me. but i won’t even try to understand. for me, the relationship between puen and talay is one of the most mature ones i’ve seen in a bl. idk if it’s how the characters are written or if it’s, at least partly, jimmysea’s influence. but either way, there’s this aura of absolute understanding and acceptance in them. their healthiness peaked in their our skyy 2 eps, and the scene where they talk about their love and how it will change as they go on in life is my evidence of this. i want this type of love. i want the love to remain, out of mutual choice. not as something that restricts you but as something that allows you to begin. 

most toxic relationship in a bl: tharntype

i will not talk about this show or pairing but every day i question why i watched any of this and hope i hadn’t, i remain traumatized  

guilty pleasure series: 2moons2

one of my very first bl loves, mostly bc of mingkit played by joong and nine. in some sense, this was my first touch to the world of bl actors too as i followed these two for a while. and now that i see joong again, i always return to this series in my mind. sometimes i go to watch the mingkit focused episode all over again, only to cry at the softness of it once more ♥

bonus! most underrated series: sky in your heart

i still do not understand why this series never gained as much popularity as its sister show did. i think the story was sweet and meaningful, and despite it being similar to the story of 1000 stars, it had its own charm. fah and prince were, comparatively, a very mature couple and their relationship developed accordingly. i wasn’t the biggest fan of the ending and i would’ve loved to see them give prince a bit more as a character, but overall, this show meant a lot to me. it had the same message in it as the vv our skyy 2 eps: love is a place where you can return to by the end of the day, without any demands or conditions. 

thank you for reading this if you did and sorry for taking so much space on your dash :’D i never tire of talking about some of these shows. there would be a lot of other ones to talk about too. but well, maybe next time. 

tagging: @dimpledpran​ @leonpob​ @wanderlust-in-my-soul​ @patspran​ @oswlld​ @namchyoon​ @gabrielokun​ @stormyoceans​ @seanwhites​ @nanons​ @seatawinans​ ♥ no pressure!

[nikethestatue]

Why it's important to you that Elriel is EndGame? I think it's important because Elain makes her own decisions and chooses what she wants, but what do you think?

For me personally, it's important because I like logical narratives. I like slowburns as well--I like gradual falling in love, issues, problems to overcome, while the buildup keeps growing. It's super satisfying to me to finally go through the First Kiss stage, then First Intimate moment stage, then Confession stage, then Consummation stage.

We've been with Elriel for 4 books now--slowly watching them grow fond of each other, then grow closer and closer, we've watched them do small and big and absurdly heroic things for each other. We've seen them exchange shy glances, touches, we've seen them care for one another, we've seen them worry and try to find solutions. We've seen Azriel finally figuring out what Elain was suffering from, and we saw Elain observe his headaches, and get him something for it. We've seen her grow bolder, and we've seen him grow gentler around her. We've seen him give her his hand and her taking it without judgement or second thought. We've seen him risk his life for her and we've seen him trust her and know something about her and her inner strength and resilience to give her Truth Teller. We've seen both of them move on from very strong feeling for 2 other people that they were in love/infatuated/adored before.

Why wouldn't I want to see all of that come to fruition?

Their romance follows the pattern of BIG SJM relationships--attraction, denial of that attraction, internal and external factors that disallow them to be together, big, sacrificial gestures, mutual assistance throughout the books, and then romantic interest.

To this day, I am legitimately BAFFLED as to why someone would NOT want to see this through?

Obviously, if SJM wanted Elain and Lucien together, it would be he who'd be saving her, and Azriel wouldn't be present in the picture. Lucien would be longing for her, Lucien would be rushing to see her and spend time. Instead, we have Lucien somewhere far, far away and I can read between the lines, you know?

I read romantic books, whether it's fantasy or something else, to see the development of those relationships.

From the standpoint of the characters themselves--Elain always struggled with autonomy and choice.

Azriel has struggled with acceptance and being chosen. Whether it's his family, which rejected him and treated him horrifically, or his own people, who dislike him severely, or Mor, who chose Cassian to lose her virginity to, and then chose Cassian as her BFF, while knowing that Azriel was deeply in love with her.

I want Elain to make her choices, and I want Azriel to be chosen.

[thewickedkat]

i understand that Fresh Cut Grass is experiencing some growing pains, that they woke up from what was presumably a dreamless, formless sort of non-awareness after an interminably long period of time. i understand that they're disorientated, in search of who they were so that they can learn who they are and who they will become. i understand that they were grossly misinformed as to what their function was upon waking, because Dancer didn't truly know what she had just purchased (sidebar, i think it's kinda ick that D would 'sell' one of their own kind, assuming they knew that Aeormatons are generally sentient and capable of learning and growing, but that's another bone to chew another day). i understand that it is emotional and mental whiplash to think you have been created for Purpose A only to find out that you have Subfunction B buried like some sort of malware, and then Subroutine C effectively erases the memory of Subfunction B executing. and i get that on top of all that, you have friends who are trying, sometimes desperately, to inform you that can and should incorporate new knowledge into your understanding of yourself and the world at large. i know that it takes more than one heart-to-heart in squishy mortal folk to undo programming such as that, and so therefore i assume it's just as difficult for Letters.

but at this point, right now, especially in light of the latest 4-Sided Dive and last night's episode, FCG really reminds me of someone who battled some kind of addiction and got into one of those 12-step programmes...but only read the literature and went to, like, four meetings and said 'oh, okay! i get it! if i just substitute Faith (as i understand it) for Purpose and Function, then i've got this in the bag and i don't have to do anything else!' when, sweetie, it isn't that simple. it's a painfully human way of looking at the issue, wanting something terribly complicated to be easily reduced to a linear progression of Step One, Step Two, Step Three, etc.

and before anyone comes for me, i am an ACoA, have been involved with AA, NA, Al-Anon, and other 12-step programmes. i watched my father struggle with that very progression of steps and he too thought it was just a checklist of sorts before he bottomed out again. i watched friends do the same thing, for over thirty years, in the Rooms. i do not make this analogy lightly. so many folk sublimate their addictive compulsions into something else: working out, dieting, family, faith, etc. and for the most part, it works. but when it does not, it becomes a precarious foundation upon which to build a new identity, and that's what FCG is making me think of. because when that precarious foundation is tested in any way, it can be ugly and painful when it collapses.

FCG is still new to the idea of self-determination and is still looking for that Purpose, that Function, else they think their existence is bereft of meaning. the problem is, when everything you do or say could be boiled down to said Purpose or Function or the flip of a coin or 'the Changebringer told me to do this,' there is a sort of abdication of personal responsibility. he's trying to overcome his MurderBot Subfunction, and defying that programming so far, but doesn't seem to understand that every time he tosses that coin into the air, that is a choice they are making. not Purpose, not the Changebringer. when they barrelled into the Citadel last night, that was them, not Function.

i think it will take a while before they realise what the Changebringer really stands for, and there can be just as much fulfillment of Purpose in freely choosing who they want to be, but i hope it doesn't come at the expense of themself or any of the Hells.

[wolfmoonmusic]

Life Update

I know people don’t read my personal posts and that’s fine, I just need to rant. 

Gods, where do I start?

Warning btw, this is highly triggering. Please take care of yourself first, don’t read if you think you might not be able to handle it.

My life is changing drastically and the things I am doing right now are more important than ever and it’s so super stressful.

My birthday is coming up on the 23rd and as usual, my dad doesn’t want me to celebrate. He says celebrating birthdays is stupid and materialistic and I hate it because I love it. For someone who has sever depression, I know how important is for me to cherish another a year I’ve successfully lived on Earth. 

I’ve let go of so many things for my dad but this is one thing I just can’t.

Also my recent discovery of Astro and Moonbin still hurts.

I didn’t even know him and I love him so much but he’s gone.

The way he managed to keep everything buried is inspiring. I know it’s wrong because you have to talk to people or else things won’t get better, but I can’t talk to people. I’m not the kind of person to share that level of trust.

My mind keeps saying “Moon Bin did it right” and “You can meet him if you just do it” and the way I’ve been struggling for the past 2 weeks with work and lack of emotional support from people, it’s hard to ward off those thoughts. 

On top of all this I think I might be bi and the girl I like, knows this. She thinks she might be bi too but the problem is that I’m not sure and I don’t want to get into anything right now. 

My life is too stacked up.

I don’t have time to even think, and I’m thankful because if I did, then I’m sure it wouldn’t take me long to do something to stop thinking forever.

I’ve been overcome by this dire need for academic validation because that’s the only thing I get praise from people about and it’s the only thing I know how to do. Or atleast I knew how to do before things got bad and I’m trying to pick it up again. It feels like I’m nothing without it. I’ve started hanging with friends less too, but in all honesty I doubt they were even my friends and I only ever wonder if they’d feel anything if I left. For my family it’d just be one less burden.

Basically, my mental health has been shit. I had a small bout of motivation to finish Misunderstandings so I did, but I don’t think I’ll be back to regular posting for a while.

Everything hurts and I watch videos of Astro and Moon Bin to comfort myself and then moments late realize that this angel doesn’t exist anymore. I’m grieving like I knew him in real life, it’s really weird.

I wake up everyday with the same heavy feeling in my chest and wish for things to change or for it all to just go the fuck away. But it won’t.

Depression isn’t always laying in bed with no energy to do anything. It’s also fake smiles, and trying to do everything perfectly so that no one notices because if they do the reaction will be bad and will only make things worse.

I hate this. 

I hate it all.

[ben-talks-art]

Why I like Nanahoshi

As I go through my list of favorite fictional characters I keep finding myself surprised by what it is about each of them that makes me like them so much.

I was surprised that the reason I liked Xanatos was due to his cheerfulness, or that I like Bill Cipher from the way they take advantage that he is an animated fictional villain, by Catra being a combination of various things I like merged into one, or even Rachel's simple but really intriguing motivation.

The reason to like a character honestly can be anything. You may like them because of the way they talk, or their design, their goals and ambitions, their backstory, and so on.

When it comes to Nanahoshi, I find that I really like her due to what an interesting twist on the concept of Isekais she represents.

(Warning! This will be a long one... I kinda go on a rant.)

For those who are unaware, "Isekai" is a term that is related to stories about a character going from one world to another, usually a magical world, where the fun is in seeing how someone from planet Earth manages to finally live the dream of most kids, that being, entering a fantasy adventure like the ones we used to watch in cartoons, play in games, or read on books.

Stuff like Owl House, Amphibia, Konosuba, Reincarnated as a Slime, Sword Art Online, Alice in Wonderland, and of course, Jobless Reincarnation. The idea is usually some form of escapism that allows you to get out of your boring daily life and enter an environment where all the skills and knowledge that were until now basically useless are now incredibly relevant and turn you into some sort of superhero or at least give you some form of advantage over the new place you're going to go.

I have a love/hate relationship with Isekais. I really like the idea of basically entering a fantasy story while knowing all I know about fantasy story tropes and seeing how things turn out... But I have gained a really big personal problem with this concept over the years, and it can basically be summed up in this line:

"He should be rewarded for his bad life..."

Over the years Isekai stories have basically turned into power fantasies where the idea isn't to explore a new world, it's to allow someone who never did anything special to suddenly become special.

There are so many stories where the premise is basically "You're in a new world with infinite magic! Or infinite ammo! Or infinite strength! Or infinite money! Infinite whatever, and now, every attractive person wants to marry you, every evil person is jealous of you, and every nice person wants to spoil you!"

Isekais have basically turned into "It's your turn now to be happy!" stories, where the goal is to convince the audience that the main character deserves to be praised by giving out the most bare bones of reasons. maybe their parents died, or maybe they never had a girlfriend, or maybe they sacrificed themselves to save someone from being hit by a car.

The overall goal is to make you believe they earn all the praise they're receiving... And I... freaking hate that mentality.

If you read a few of my posts from my list, you should know I just adore seeing a character's relationship with different forms of struggle. I love, love, love watching people being challenged and put to the test to see how they will overcome their hardships so that when they finally do it I can shout "You son of a b*tch! You did it!!"

I like seeing people earn their victories, and I like learning how they do it so that it can inspire me to do the same with my personal challenges... Which is why it annoys me to no end that so many Isekai stories are about just handing over victories on a silver platter.

They have basically turned into entitlement stories. "You've been a good boy in your old life, so now you're entitled to a new life of luxury!" it's the message I get from them most of the time. No struggle, no challenges, here is your reward because we gave some bullsh*t reason to justify that you earned it.

You're basically taking away one of the most vital components of storytelling, the goddamn conflict!

If there is no wall to overcome, the victory of the main character ends up feeling hollow.

But whatever… What the heck does any of that has to do with Nanahoshi?

To put it simply, she was the one that taught me all that.

Her story is basically a very clever twist on the trope of Isekai power fantasy.

For starters, she doesn't get superpowers after going to a new world. She actually becomes the only person unable to use any form of magic, which means her life has turned into a never-ending minefield where anyone can just destroy her if she ever gets careless.

There is also the fact that she doesn't like this new world. She actually had a boyfriend and a family that she lost because of the transfer and now all she can think about is how to get back.

And to top it all off, she finds out that she's dying as her body doesn't have the means to handle the atmosphere of this new world like the rest of its residents, and hardly anyone knows how to help her out because it's a problem they never had before.

But it doesn't even stop there, because while has to deal with all that, one of her best friends, another human from Earth that also came to this new world, did get a body that can handle magic, much more magic than the common citizen no less, so he ended up becoming a very famous figure known for defeating many monsters and saving dozens of lives, basically regarded as a genius.

Nanahoshi is so tragic because, aside from all these hardships, she still has to constantly look at what she could have been, an invincible hero in a fantasy world. But instead, she ended up as someone that everyone has to take care of at all times due to how fragile she is.

It's such an interesting setup. You go to another world, but instead of living the dream, everything just becomes worse. It gets to a point where just simply eating a nice meal becomes the highlight of her day because everything else is just so miserable.

All this girl wants is to go home and stay safe and yet she's constantly going through so much.

There is a chapter in particular in the novel that just destroyed me where she breaks down crying about all the things she had been enduring since she arrived, all the things she misses from her world, and just how jealous she is of her friend for having the most perfect life one could ask while she doesn't even know if she will make it to the next day.

I love Nanahoshi because she taught me the value of struggles in storytelling. Struggles are a great way to get you invested and to get you to relate with a character, after all, who doesn't have struggles in life?

Her story is so interesting, and to me, so inspiring that it even got me to make my own novel, where the premise is focused on a girl trying to get home from a fantasy world and all the hardships she faces and the psychological pressure she endures.

The actual novel of "Jobless Reincarnation" itself I have some very mixed feelings on... But the character of Nanahoshi is someone that means a lot to me.

I love her journey trying to deal with the challenges of this world and getting back home, I love her premise of being a twist on the concept of a power fantasy isekai, I love what she represents with the idea of never giving up even when things seem at their worst, I love what she teaches not only to me as a writer for the importance of struggle in a story but as a person for learning to respect the hardships of others...

I just love her! Nanahoshi is awesome!

Favorite character list>>

[risingfire17-the-weeb-trash]

40 Day Anime Challenge Day 10- A character you despise with all your heart and soul: Almost everyone in Welcome to the NHK (2006)

I was excited to watch this. It had great reviews, and fans raved that it was a realistic and positive portrayal of people with mental health issues. As someone with these myself, of course I was excited.

But here are my thoughts after watching the anime: 

1) It is not a realistic portrayal of people with mental illness, because the characters are not given much characterization beyond the problematic behaviors of their disorders, no redeeming qualities, and very little character development that was rushed at the end.

2) It is not a positive portrayal of people with mental illness at all. Once again, they are almost entirely reduced to stereotypes, and they’re pretty terrible people. If this is the representation people like me, who has put in a lifetime of therapy and self-reflection to continue overcoming my issues and have healthy relationships, then I fear what those without mental illness would think of me based on what they see in these individuals.

So let’s get to why I despise the characters, yeah? (Spoilers ahead)

Tatsuhiro Sato, our protagonist. 

I don’t have a problem with the fact that he is a NEET. I have a problem with the fact that he never got professional help. I have a problem with the fact that he lied to his parents to keep getting their money, and cursed them when they finally cut him off. I have a problem with the way he treated his friends, yelling, name calling, throwing things, and then guilting them into letting him mooch off of them. I have a problem with his attraction to Misaki. First, because she is a teenager, and instead of staying away from her so he doesn’t act on this, he continues to spend time with her, has her pretend to be his girlfriend at one point, uses her as a cook and housekeeper, and ultimately confesses his love and starts dating her. The second reason is that until a rushed confession in the last episode that may not even be genuine because he said it to literally talk her off the ledge, he was only attracted to her physically and because she would do anything he wanted. He told her multiple times that she was a nuisance, a nag, had a terrible personality, etc. He belittled and bullied her through most of the series.

Misaki Nakahara, our wannabe hero. 

Clearly, she’s a struggling teen and needs help. What she does not need to do is berate and enable a grown man that she only latches on to because looking down on him helps her feel good about herself (which she admitted to halfway through the series and never worked at changing afterward) She coerces him to go along with her “treatment plan” rather than encouraging him to seek actual professional help. She nags at him, bursts into his home, and often pushes him farther out of his comfort zone than he can handle at the time. She enables his codependency when she starts cooking and cleaning for him, all the while scolding him for not doing it himself, so he learns that he is incompetent and should just let her do everything and accept her criticism when he does. I’ll give her a bit more of a pass than the other characters, because unlike the other characters behaving like children, she is literally a child. But she is still a toxic and manipulative person and her problematic behavior needs to be addressed by her guardians (and a licensed therapist)

Hitomi Kashiwa. 

This girl was the catalyst for Sato having a breakdown, always talking about conspiracies. When she comes back into his life, she asks him to join a group she is part of for a trip, not telling him that they are all there to commit suicide! She takes her vulnerable junior, who, despite all his flaws, is at least trying to get himself together, and exposes him to a group exacerbate his depression and he almost gets killed because of it. I haven’t read the manga, but I am told she tries to have an affair with Sato after she is married with a kid. (And the person she is married to, Akira Jogasaki, is so sweet and supportive, he’s the only character I like in this show, so it really hurts to see her betray him like that.)

Kauru Yamazaki, Sato’s best friend, giving otakus everywhere a bad name.

 This guy is supposed to be the “functional” one of the group, being the only one who has a job and is in school to pursue a meaningful career. That’s great and all, but he has a shit personality. His life revolves around perving on 2D women, and complaining that real women can never compare because of the imperfections that make them human, like having their own personalities, motives, and goals. He voices this in a way that is very misogynistic, painting women as manipulative. When he finally starts to fall for a human girl, he pursues her after being rejected, gets mad at her for interacting with other males, and has Sato videotape his confession to her without her knowledge for reference for their game. After moving home, he dates a girl who looks just like her, implying that he does not love this girl, but just sees her as a stand-in. And this is the guy Sato goes to for advice, ugh.

Finally, Megumi Kobayashi. 

After finding out about Sato’s issues, she lies to him and manipulates him into joining a toxic MLM scheme. Even when he tries to get out, she tricks him multiple times into buying her stuff. Look, I feel sorry for her circumstances, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior.

This show was painful to watch. (Even with Akira Jogasaki carrying the whole show on his back) I don’t know if the manga did any better and never will because I’m never touching this series again. I hate these people. Time to search for an anime that is actually a realistic and positive portrayal of people with mental illness.